#i used to be able to sing it lol
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all the pokemon xy anime japanese EDs are so nostalgic now
#the first one especially#i used to be able to sing it lol#i still kinda can but i cant remember all the lyrics xp#peace smile is a nice song#and dreamdream is my favourite. love it. love nakagawa's voice :)#i love her version of type wild too! really fits the alola theme.#i didnt realise they brought it back for alola :( and it was the last thing they played to finish off ashs journey#i wanna watch it but i dont wanna bawl my eyes out again LMFAO#i cried enough watching the english version and hearing gotta catch em all. God
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i am fighting for my life, i am so tired of my neck trying to destroy me lol
#when will they let me get my stupid surgery 😩😩😩#i think i did actually get a good grade in having a tongue at my last appt though#i am now able to do things i was completely unable to do in my initial exam and i don't think i was expected to get that pre-op#so I'm cautiously optimistic that after this next one or maybe the one after i could get the greenlight#my ability to eat has been improving too i think actually but that has been miserable because my body is so not used to it lol#and it kinda comes and goes#the more relaxed i get about it the better i do overall but then i also choke more often fjsjd so you win some you lose some#and i once again cannot sing AT ALL#that also comes and goes but it's completely unpredictable for me#there's also nothing that can be done about the breathing for now it seems#i definitely handled it all a lot better when i didn't know what was wrong but now that im so aware and know there's a solution#it drives me completely crazy lol
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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ok so. today i am going to
fly (and travel at all) by myself for the first time since making the emergency return home from br!ghton bc of c0vid 4 years ago (extremely distressing and scary experience). and fly by myself two weeks after a mixed bag of a conference experience / plane ride home that included a massive scary depressive spiral that i had someone there to help me through as much as they could but it wasn’t enough which was absolutely not their fault but was deeply distressing to me at the time. so im about to be in a very similar environment but this time that person won’t be physically with me and it’s going to wreck my brain in multiple directions in part bc i have not yet recovered from the depressive spiral. i am still in it. lawl <3
ride in an uber by myself for the first time. ride in an uber at all for maybe the 5th time. as a very short young woman. which i have been expressedly warned by my parents not to do. lol <3
check into a hotel by myself for the first time
walk in a big city by myself for the first time (technically slightly untrue bc wjen i was last in ch!cago 5 years ago i did power walk from the hotel to the conference venue (like a block away) on the last day bc i was pissed about a situation but that was like… a block and i saw ppl i knew walking in that area. this time i will be in the same city and know no one at least for today
give myself a self care evening at the recommendation of my therapist…. for the first time. (maybe after i take a walk which i will do specifically when it’s still light out to see what the area is like). tonight no one i know will be in ch!cago yet and i have no plans to do anything. im going to play video games and draw and sing and give myself space and time to just enjoy being by myself and see how it goes
#purrs#conference tag#chicago#im very very very scared. that i won’t be able to handle it. i have craved solitude but also don’t know if it’s something i actually want o#if it’s a product of my circumstances. i am not used to being completely alone like that like whenever ive had it there have always been#other ppl in the building that ive had to be cognizant of and that will be true of a hotel too but bc i don’t know the people i will feel#less responsible to them . like obviously im not goi ng to sing at the top of my lungs but i will feel like i can sing which ive never felt#like i can do when ive lived with roommates or at home kinda. idk. my therapist was challenging me to experiment with fear by asking myself#if im really in danger or if im just uncomfortable / about to experience something ive never done before and right now im so extremely#anxious but what i am about to do is not inherently dangerous and i need to recognize im just experiencing something new and do it scared.#like im literally terrified i can’t describe how scared i am in a way that does it justice. but i am going to be okay. and when i tell#myself that i make it so.#trina vega voice im a woman…… [about to be] in ch!cago….. who’s SCARED!#i also have no idea how to be in a big city and be safe. like what do i do if im followed or if someone tries to attack me or something.#obviously the chances of that are extremely slim but ive had it hammered into me that if i am alone in a city that’s what’s going to happen#to me bc i am such a ~weak and defenseless small young woman~ lol. but bc i believed the fear and have had very little experience in citie#i have no idea how to navigate them or to be safe which creates the problem. like it makes it true that i am weak and defenseless bc i have#been shielded from being able to learn how to be smart and strong and cognizant of my surroundings. and i am so angry about it and hope tha#i will SHATTER that sense when im there and come away from it w confidence ive never had before#like i don’t have… pepper spray or anything like that. idk if that’s a thing ppl actually carry on them or if it’s just a thing ppl say. i#genuinely have zero idea at all. and i really really hope i won’t be in a situation where i’ll wish i had some. i doubt i will be but still
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from an article titled "I’m a Swiftie, but the staggering size of the Eras tour has left me feeling alienated"
girl im not sure you are a swiftie if you're saying the anthology is full of forgettable songs...
#and the author also had a dig at the icdiwabh song/performance#saying that taylor is goading us when she sings that she could be miserable right now but still putting on this show and we'd never know#very odd behaviour#and she tries to drag all the acoustic / extra releases of the album#like#you dont have to buy it#if you think the eras tour is over rehearsed thats because it is#if you think the taylor is trying to 'impress upon you her indomitability#inviting you to marvel at the extent of her back catalogue and#her superhuman stamina'#maybe she just wants to put on an insane show for her fans to be able to enjoy all of her eras#the author even writes that she doesnt feel like a swiftie anymore. more like a conscript that is forced to stream spend and post so tay can#grow her cultural dominance#JUST DONT BUY THE VARIANTS#its honestly not that hard#overconsumption is a problem but literally no one is forcing you to spend any many on ttpd variants#sage.p#sorry yall I'm kind of mad about this article#i just dont think op is a swiftie lol#taylor swift#calling the anthology mostly forgettable has rrly got me pissed#ts#the eras tour#taylor swift article
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I have now learned Till Depth Do Us Part and Hide and Sleek,,
#devin speaks#wanted to learn hide and sleek first cause i knew my rap in that song would be the hardest jdhvkdfj#but i learned it and it actually wasnt as bad as i thought id be#it only took like two days of singing it repeatedly hchjdhs#till depth do us part didnt take as long#i know most of smeared canvas and anarchy rainbow already too#and fins in the air is… well ive still got a ways to go with that one lol#id love to learn calamari 3mix but our overlapping vocals makes that one a biiiit harder#i should be able to at least memorize the chorus tho#honestly tho if i wanted a real challenge id try to learn the damp socks songs kjhdkjsdcx#pearls vocals in those are INSANE#i probably will try at some point#but for now im just focusing on my fave deep cut songs and maaaaaaybe tomorrows nostalgia today#god i love deep cut music#kin tag#yeah….. that goes there <3
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🩷
#I recorded a lil clip of me singing the last classical song I learned back in high school#surprised I still know it so well#I’m not posting it cause DAMN I’m rusty as fuck#but I think it’ll be cool to have a before audio for when I start working on my voice again#lol wish I had a BEFORE audio from before high school and all my lessons#OOOOOFDA BESTIE NAH#I thought I was so fucking good and then I get to my performing arts high school#with a bunch of talented people and I realized I in fact sounded like a screeching walrus#but then I worked and studied through high school and I think I gotta pretty good#even went to a few competitions which was super weird but fun#aw I miss those days so much#so I’m going to try and get back into it#gonna be hard since I’m not like surrounded by it all the time#but I’m gonna start brushing up on my music theory and maybe even fuck around and compose a little bit#I used to learn songs in all of these different languages#I miss it so much#and I’ve decided I’m going to start creating the person I want to be and stop wishing I was that person#anywayyyyyyyyy#idk where I was gonna go with that#if anyone is *genuinely* interested in hearing my classical audio send me a message#but I’m not gonna post it cause bro let me tell you it’s rustyyyyyyyy#I got my high notes down but everything else? (and even leading up to the high notes) nah not there#supposedly I might be able to see the aurora borealis in my area tonight but I’m not holding my breath#I live next to too many damn lights and people ☹️😤😤#if anyone gets to see the lights tell me all about them! and if you have pictures please please PLEASE send me them!!!!!#shut up rosie
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musical posting on my hazbin blog lets go lmao
One of my favorite things about musicals is just listening to the music will give you a fantastic view of how that scene goes a lot of the time, because musical numbers in musicals, by their very nature, have to drive the plot along (Vivziepop actually mentioned that this is why there aren't many solos in Hazbin Hotel).
For example, I've never seen Heathers (don't come after me, everything I know about it is from the Wikipedia page lmao) but a specific part from Meant To Be Yours (specifically, about 2:00 to 2:37 in the World Premiere Cast recording) is all over animatics featuring abusive relationships (and I definitely get why, especially after listening to the full song). But listening to the entire song you can tell what's going on so fucking well. The song doesn't show up until act 2 (and it's one of the last songs in act 2 at that) and I want to watch Heathers because I want to see the build-up to Meant To Be Yours.
The soundtracks of musicals are so fucking underrated honestly. There are some musicals where you can get the entire story just listening to the soundtrack and it's wonderful (I think Hazbin Hotel is a good example of this honestly).
#meant to be yours#heathers the musical#also i think it's really telling that in the hazbin hotel fandom specifically#meant to be yours is usually used in animatics featuring vox/alastor and val/angel#(usually vox/alastor but i saw one that had val storming the hotel and i haven't been able to find it again)#why do i think it's telling? vox would absolutely sing it at alastor and val would absolutely sing it at angel#i feel like it completely disproves everyone saying vox isn't as bad as val that people usually use it for vox and val#...now i want to make a full length radiosilence animatic using meant to be yours#also if i got anything wrong about heathers feel free to let me know lol
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Man, sm black artists were absolutely ahead of the game with their creativity back in the day (Missy Elliot, Kanye, Ludacris, and Busta’s videos and music were always so fun… and during the times when they all came out, most of the artists that were popular were the “I don’t smile EVER and all of my videos take place in the club or fucking Miami for some reason because we all like scarface or whatever tf. No, I’m NOT allowed to have any personality outside of rapping about being a murderer or kingpin and the rappers who smile and like to have fun and dance in their videos are also lame-) like… it was always a breath of fresh air whenever artists like these came out. I love seeing artists, especially hip-hop artists, having fun in their videos and you can always tell that they enjoyed working on the projects a lot. It’s been slowly coming back at least. There’s always like one or two fun rappers every decade… I wish they were more prevalent though. I do at least appreciate artists who put more thought into their videos though. Like, the artistry has been off the charts with sm of the new age artists for sure, which I greatly appreciate!
#missy’s videos were so awesome!!! and still are#I like how she used to always have her friends in the videos even if they weren’t rapping or singing on the track lol#the sock it to me video is so…#like lil Kim was just one of the silly main characters in it but had no lines at all lmfao#so cute#rambling#the new Kanye’s workout plan is still funny to me I loved it#he’s so over now tho man he’s a completely different guy bro#he’s still as bold as ever but at least when he used to open his mouth back then it was to stand up for black people and so on#like the ‘George bush doesn’t care about black people-‘ line right at the beginning of his career was crazy#and he was able to continue on having a career after that that was always crazy to me#what the hell happened to that nigga man#outside of the mental illness and that family… oh brother
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i finally watched the miraculous movie and omfg. hawk moths villain song is so so good and i LOVE that cute duet between ladynoir <333 amazing movie omg
#fandoms#moi#irl#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#ladybug & cat noir the movie#miraculous awakening#its sooo good#like its so engaging. i am barely able to watch movies without getting bored like ever and this one did it#like there was no moment where i got genuinely bored or like disinterested or anything lmao#theres almost nothing id change abt that movie tbh#(the only thing would be whatever they did with plagg and the fact that mari’s singing and speaking voice is different bothered me a bit ngl#but after the first song i kinda got used to that so that’s fine ig lol but still. it messed w the immersion a little)#anyway i stan this movie
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#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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#just haven't gotten to sing a lot lately#I hit a point in life#where I stopped being able to do it without tensing up for one reason or another idk#so it kind of became more of a frustration for me#because it would just make me feel anxious and insecure#and that makes me more sad than anything I guess#it used to be such a release#just belting out in the car without *really* caring ya know#but anytime I actually think about what I'm singing now#I lose the ability to do it at all#LOL#so idk every now and then I'll find something that still feels pleasant#even if it's not perfect#so I just kinda#do that#I'm probably never going to get to the place I wanted to be with my voice#I totally get that#but every now and then it's nice to just throw it out there#tumblr is my diary anyway hahaha#song is 'song of the sea'#by nolwenn leroy
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO CLASS TOMORROW AFTER THAT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RETURN TO LIFE AS USUAL AFTER THAT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE
#THIS IS ABOUT DECLAN MCKENNA#MY FRIEND GOT US VIP/EARLY ENTRY TICKETS#WE GOT LITTLE CHAMPAGNE/THAT'S LIFE CASETTE TAPES AND LANYARDS AND SIGNED POSTERS#AND WE GOT BARRICADE#HE WAS RIGHT THERE#I'M DAZED#AND I ALSO NO LONGER HAVE A VOICE#I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SING IN MY MUSICAL THEATER WORKSHOP TOMORROW MORNING LOL#HOLY SHIT.#I'M GONNA REWATCH ALL MY VIDEOS TOMORROW AND JUST CRY PROBABLY#I TEARED UP WHEN HE FIRST CAME ONSTAGE DUDE#AAUHGHGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHJTJBBNDJHJEJJIGIGI#sam says things#i'm.#i'll see yall in the afterlife i guess cause i've ascended#declan mckenna
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Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!
The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.
This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.
Here is a short and easy video showing this in action
The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.
You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.
If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!
I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.
If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!
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Need a new creative outlet since I can’t sing in my apartment
#honestly I feel like there’s a hole in my life without it which is so cringe to say because I’m nothing special or anything#like if I think too much about it I get legitimately sad which seems weird#I just felt so big and beautiful when I could use my full voice and there’s nothing like it#the car is close but I’m sitting so it’s not quite the same#my entire motivation for working is to eventually be able to buy a place with an unfinished basement that I can sing in again#genuinely the best nights of my life were in that smelly dark basement singing with my full voice and rollerskating lol#so sad and cringe to say that 💀 but i guess it’s true
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holland performing in stockholm today 💙
setlist: i’m so afraid, i’m not afraid, loved you better, number boy, neverland, nar_c
i’m so happy he was able to come here! sorry for the rubbish quality of these pics lol
#i might post some videos idk we’ll see#somehow they are better than these quality-wise#holland#go taeseob#chatter#he sings just as well live as he does in his recorded versions#as time went on he interacted more and more with the audience so that was fun - also the audience became more interactive w him as well#bc i was a little disappointed with the crowd but also a lot of them weren’t actual fans but just attendees that joined in basically#but those of us who were had pretty high energy at least#also lol he said neverland was going to be his last song and everyone went awww#but then afterwards he was like ‘do you want another song’ and said he was a bit tired but would pull thru for everyone 🥺#and it was nar_c which is my favourite so i was delighted#and he performed it with the energy it requires#it was so good and i’m so happy i was able to see him
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