#i use to read OP for years.... 10 years ago....

[machine-saint]

the op of that "you should restart your computer every few days" post blocked me so i'm going to perform the full hater move of writing my own post to explain why he's wrong

why should you listen to me: took operating system design and a "how to go from transistors to a pipelined CPU" class in college, i have several servers (one physical, four virtual) that i maintain, i use nixos which is the linux distribution for people who are even bigger fucking nerds about computers than the typical linux user. i also ran this past the other people i know that are similarly tech competent and they also agreed OP is wrong (haven't run this post by them but nothing i say here is controversial).

anyway the tl;dr here is:

you don't need to shut down or restart your computer unless something is wrong or you need to install updates

i think this misconception that restarting is necessary comes from the fact that restarting often fixes problems, and so people think that the problems are because of the not restarting. this is, generally, not true. in most cases there's some specific program (or part of the operating system) that's gotten into a bad state, and restarting that one program would fix it. but restarting is easier since you don't have to identify specifically what's gone wrong. the most common problem i can think of that wouldn't fall under this category is your graphics card drivers fucking up; that's not something you can easily reinitialize without restarting the entire OS.

this isn't saying that restarting is a bad step; if you don't want to bother trying to figure out the problem, it's not a bad first go. personally, if something goes wrong i like to try to solve it without a restart, but i also know way, way more about computers than most people.

as more evidence to point to this, i would point out that servers are typically not restarted unless there's a specific need. this is not because they run special operating systems or have special parts; people can and do run servers using commodity consumer hardware, and while linux is much more common in the server world, it doesn't have any special features to make it more capable of long operation. my server with the longest uptime is 9 months, and i'd have one with even more uptime than that if i hadn't fucked it up so bad two months ago i had to restore from a full disk backup. the laptop i'm typing this on has about a month of uptime (including time spent in sleep mode). i've had servers with uptimes measuring in years.

there's also a lot of people that think that the parts being at an elevated temperature just from running is harmful. this is also, in general, not true. i'd be worried about running it at 100% full blast CPU/GPU for months on end, but nobody reading this post is doing that.

the other reason i see a lot is energy use. the typical energy use of a computer not doing anything is like... 20-30 watts. this is about two or three lightbulbs worth. that's not nothing, but it's not a lot to be concerned over. in terms of monetary cost, that's maybe $10 on your power bill. if it's in sleep mode it's even less, and if it's in full-blown hibernation mode it's literally zero.

there are also people in the replies to that post giving reasons. all of them are false.

temporary files generally don't use enough disk space to be worth worrying about

programs that leak memory return it all to the OS when they're closed, so it's enough to just close the program itself. and the OS generally doesn't leak memory.

'clearing your RAM' is not a thing you need to do. neither is resetting your registry values.

your computer can absolutely use disk space from deleted files without a restart. i've taken a server that was almost completely full, deleted a bunch of unnecessary files, and it continued fine without a restart.

[cartoonistcoop]

ShortBox Comics Member Interview: Sloane Hong

Throughout the month of October, the Cartoonist Cooperative will be sharing interviews with members of the Co-op who have a new comic available at the ShortBox Comics Fair 2024! 

NOTE: The Cartoonist Cooperative is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way formally connected with ShortBox.  

Today’s spotlight is Sloane Hong ( @plaest2k ) and their new comic for ShortBox, Expiry Date.

We’d love it if you could introduce yourself and tell us about your background in comics.

Sloane Hong: Kia ora, my name is Sloane Hong (she/her), I’m a Korean-tauiwi illustrator, comic artist and tattooer based in Aotearoa, New Zealand. I only started making comics professionally about five years ago but they’ve always been a significant part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Tell us more about your new comic?

SH: Expiry Date is an erotic, body horror, sci-fi short story about coming home from a long day at your shitty, minimum-wage job, crashing on your couch and fantasizing about how fucking good it would feel to just die.

I mean, it’s also about transness, labour rights, our relationship with our bodies and death under capitalism, etc but it’s mostly about shitty jobs.

My friend described it as “what if David Cronenberg was a transsexual dyke who grew up reading ero-guro”.

What are some early experiences as a cartoonist that shaped you or your process?

SH: My brother’s also an artist, probably better than I could ever be, and I basically owe any good taste I might have to him. Growing up, I always got home from school first so I’d sneak into his room to admire his drawings and read his comics. He had most of the usual stuff you’d find on any Korean kid’s shelf in the 90’s: Akira Toriyama, Masamune Shirow, Yoshito Usui, etc, and a couple of Korean manhwa that are all now damn-near impossible to find. As he got older, he started getting into American comics and brought home stuff like R. Crumb, Daniel Clowes, Fletcher Hanks, etc from the library.

But it’s not just that I had someone to introduce me to all this stuff, it’s the fact I’m six years younger than him and he was already reading this stuff earlier than most. So I think I started looking at all those misanthropic underground comics by horny white men when I was, like, what… about 10 years old?

Besides my brother, the trauma of working shitty jobs for years on end, The Terrible Boredom of Paradise, and this weird and fucked up miracle we call life are probably the wellsprings of both my inspiration and ceaseless burnout. 

Tell us about your creative process; how did you develop this comic and what are the steps you took to bring it to the final stage?

SH: I did something really stupid for the 2023 ShortBox Comics Fair. I have ADHD and one of the many ways it manifests is that I have a debilitating habit of overthinking my stories. “Are the themes too obvious? Is it too heavy handed? Are the motivations for this character clear enough? Is this the right way to phrase this? Is this the right word? Is this the right letter? Is this the right punctuation?” etc, etc.

On paper, it probably sounds like something every writer goes through but when I say debilitating, I mean interferes-with-my-ability-to-live-a-normal-life-kind of debilitating. It’s kind of impossible to articulate how bad it was but it got to a point where I was so sick of myself and all the stories I never finished that I said fuck it��maybe if I just jump into a comic with nothing but a stupid premise, no planning and an impending deadline, I won’t have time to think about all these inconsequential details. So I sat down and forced myself to write, pencil and ink a comic, page-by-page.

It was essentially an exercise in automatism: I was still thinking about draftsmanship, composition, flow and everything but I kinda just let the story tell itself by writing/ drawing whatever felt like a natural progression for the narrative.

That was how I ended up with Marrow, which was kinda funny because the whole point was to make a goofy, low-stakes comic about nothing to circumvent the pressure of having to write anything good. Instead I’d inadvertently made something that was layered and deeply intimate and won the sci-fi category in the 2024 Minicomic Awards. But, more importantly, the whole process helped bring everything together. It reminded me of something I used to tell young artists: developing a style isn’t something you really set out to do, it’s something that just happens. You don’t practice drawing to get better at drawing; you do it to better channel your voice. It’s only when you can stop thinking about how to move your hand that your heart can take the lead.

I’d forgotten my own advice. I was so concerned about the technical details of how to write a story that I was basically assembling components rather than writing anything at all. Marrow helped me realize I’d already internalized everything I needed to write long ago. I just needed to stop thinking.

Expiry Date was a continuation of that process and made in basically the same way. There was just significantly less stress involved now that I knew I could trust myself.

Mostly.

Read the rest of the interview HERE! And dont forget to check out the Shortbox Comics Fair to support these lovely creators!!

[bu-blegh-ost]

A short essay about how Caspian is mathematically not a mole (ep. 115 spoilers) (and for the whole series for that matter)

Okay, alright guys, I saw your concerns. I saw it all, and you are right to be worried that your favourite blue wet man's blue and equally wet best friend may turn out to be a traitor. And so am I, trust me. Which is why I went through every single bit of Caspian's past I could dig out to create an unltimate timeline of his entire goddamn life to see it it'd be plausible for him to become a mole at any point in time and ultimately prove his innocence! If that's something you're interested in reading, then buckle up!

"Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones. This is totally seperate from the Black-Ops situation that you learned about in the Stronghold. And you, in this book, can tell that there is a plant on Lizzie's crew."

This, of course is something I need to point out first. Whoever Lizzie's mole might be, they are not a doppelganger. They are not a clone, or Black-Ops, just a solider of the Navy, a person that must have gotten into the Navy via regular recruitment, be trained by them and then put into a spy division. Jay ofc had this entire process sped up, due to her grandma's influence, but no one other than her, especially an Undersea citizen, who would probably have to put in extra effort to be trusted given their shaky political situation few years back, would get the same treatment. What I'm trying to say, Caspian would need time, at least few years of training to become a mole they'd trust to infiltrate a crew, and not just any crew might I add. More on that later. Let's go back to his most early years for now. This is a fragment of episode 84 in which Caspian talks to Gillion abt his early life:

C: We all have family. I consider my life up here, this crew to be my found family. But my previous…tribe with the water genasi in the Undersea, where I was growing up…sort of in a [illegible]... remember me telling you about the outskirts? We um…was very nomadic, quite a, quite a peaceful, tranquil life, but it was always, you know…mixed with this life of poverty and my family wasn’t very…wouldn’t really have much but the water around us, and each other, I suppose, so uh…You know...I mean my mother didn’t make it past old age, and uh…

G: I’m sorry…

C: When my sister left the tribe, my father sort of fell into a depression of sorts and he stopped moving around. And when we stayed in one place, I was 18 or so, maybe 16, it was a while ago, and then…that’s when I left as well. Ventured to the Oversea, and um…and it’s history, so that’s my family. Not sure what they’re up to these days, I mean…I know my sister went to the capital, where you were.

G: Pirating is a pretty lucrative business, maybe if…we managed to find them or run into them, we can give something back, put them in a better situation.

C: …Well um…I mean this was 10-15, 10 to 12 to 15 years ago, quite some, quite some time, so I don’t even know if my father is alive still, I mean I don’t really have the desire to go back to the undersea, Gill.

G: Wha-why not?

C: Because I like my life up here. This is where I’m happy.

So, before we go to what all of that entails, one more quick crazy thing to mention: so, Caspian's sister is an Elder of the Undersea. Like for sure. This is confirmed by this part from ep. 79:

The Triton who you remember as the Elder Odolaf, who looks like he is about to speak, but is cut off by the water genasi, who has been doing a lot of talking thus far, who is Elder Celeste. They stand up and there is a familiarity that you notice now in their face. It’s like you have met them before, but not in the way that you know them because they are the Elder, but in a way that it’s like, they look like somebody you know. And she has sort of these uh, white tied-up like dreads that are tied up in like a bun and they come across the face and then one side is shaved. And there are beads and piercings in her hair, her ears are a little bit more sea elf-like in the way that they are pointed and they kind of like gradient into pink. They all kind of wear the same sort of ornate robes, though hers is more, I guess faded and like cut a bit, look a bit more warriorous, or like tribal, but still very well-made and professional.

Tribal clothing, a water genasi, that looks like someone Gillion saw before in the face. The only water genasi Gillion met after leaving the Undersea is Caspian. Elder Celeste is Caspian's sister. Wild. Anyway, not what we're here for, but I needed to mention that.

The crazier thing is that Caspian left to Oversea when he was 16-18, and it has been 10-15 years since then. That means Caspian is currently 26 at possible youngest, and 33 at his oldest, which was surprising to me, I did not imagine Caspian as a man in his 30s! But that's straight up facts, so holy shit, you know?

Okay, so I'm going to list a lot of small facts that determine a lot of ages in quick succession. I hope it's not gonna be too scary to look at, I'll simplify it all at the end. [Deep inhale]

Right now Gillion is 22. So when Caspian left the Undersea, Gillion was 12-7. Jay is 21 and Ava was 2 years older, same age as Lizzie. So Lizzie is 23 now. When Caspian left the Undersea, she was 13-8. Chip is 19, so Lizzie is 4 years older. Hole in the Sea happened when Chip was 9, so Lizzie was 13. So Caspian left the Undersea around the same time Lizzie crashed on the uninhabited island with Chey after the Hole.

It's a lot, I know, I know. So let me clear this up a little.

Hole in the sea was 10 years ago. Chip was 9, Lizzie was 13. 10 years ago Caspian was in the age between 16 and 23, and he left the Undersea when he was 16 or 18. So roughly at the same time the Black Sea happened, Caspian came to the surface for the first time.

(also pls note that we are talking in estimates, casue in ep. 36 Lizzie says she was 11 when the hole happened, but in ep. 101 she says she was the same age as Ava which by the power of math would put her at 13. Either way, somewhere around that age)

After that, Lizzie spend some time on an uninhabited island with Chey, the Black Rose cook, who sacrificed herself for Liz, so she could survive and died shortly after. We do not know how much time passed, but I assume no longer than few months, and after that she was saved by Captain Shadowbeard where she met Caspian. They were a part of Shadowbeard's crew, Caspian saved her from the massacre where Shadowbeard was killed, and then Lizzie went on to create her own crew, Grandberry Pirates with Caspian never leaving her for a second since he met her. That means that the only time Caspian could have joined the Navy would be RIGHT after he came to the Oversea for the first time, roughly at the same time Lizzie was stranded on an island, and in that short period of time (between Lizzie's crash on the island and her being found by Shadowbeard) he would have to find the time to be trusted and accepted by Navy, get trained specifically for infiltration AND infiltrate not anyones BUT FUCKING SHADOWBEARD'S SHIP. Not a NEW crew. A crew of one of the most legendary pirates on the sea. Cause before Lizzie, Caspian was Sadowbeard's crew member, and since then he never stopped being a pirate, so if he was a solider, he would have had to be one before Shadowbeard. And remeber what Grizzly said in 115: "Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones."

Shadowbeard was not new. Not upcoming. He was dangerous and Navy must have had the balls of steal to send a rookie solider, which Caspian would have been at that point in time, to infiltrate him. The numbers say it's impossible. Guys, the numbers! They don't add up!

Anyway, so basically Caspian could not be a mole. He is not a new pirate, he was not a member of a fresh crew, becaue his pirate journey did not start with Lizzy, it started with Shadowbeard. Grandberry Pirates is a new crew, but Caspian is not a newbie in it. You know who is? Rudith. I mean what kind of doctor lets a bunch of rowdy pirates have a secret base under a place where sick and vulnerable rest??? Like ANY other place would have been better and more respectful! Also you know what's interesting? Gillion could heal these people with lay on hands easily, and yet the only thing Rudith did for them was give them potions that didn't seem to help and look after them on purely non-medical level. Bro didn't do shit. Like, why would you even become a doctor without having access to healing magic? The answer, you are not. You are a Navy solider in disguise.

Okay, okay, I'm done, that's all. If you got this far, you are a hero, thank you for reading this insanely long ramble, but that's kind of the conclusions that I came to, of course, any counter-theories and discussion in general is very much welcome! I'd love to hear your opinions! Love you guys, bye~

[moongothic]

So a few weeks ago I ran into this, old, old Crocodile meta post from 2015, the OP of which hasn't been active on Tumbr (at least on that account) since 2018. And this post (along with some of the OP's other posts) has been living in my head rent free since then.

There was just something there about seeing these old meta posts, completely detached from the current state of the story, the fandom and the Crocodad Propaganda... It just made for a truly refreshing read, but they also had such great observations about Crocodile I hadn't even thought about or noticed*, and somewhat most importantly... validating my own feelings/observations about things I've been kind of afraid to vocalize myself lest I apper completely delulu. Like I dunno I do worry sometimes if I'm just reading into things too much just to make massive reaches to get The Reading of the character that happens to support the Crocodad theory specifically, instead of trying to get a more objective reading instead. So seeing someone else make either those exact same or similar observations nearly 10 years before I did is so validating, and really just made me want to discuss some of those things.

*(Like this whole post about how "DON!" is often used to add emphasis and show the true beliefs of characters, and how Crocodile doesn't really say things with a DON!, almost like his heart isn't in most of the things he does or says. I dunno it was such a good read)

Sidenote: I do want to quickly comment that I don't agree with the OP on some of their readings about stuff, and more importantly, due to the age of the both the original posts and the OP not being active anymore, I didn't want to, like... Treat them as if they just posted it recently and interact with the posts as such. (I dunno, when people go digging through my decade old main blog and start reblogging shit I posted in like 2014 it just. I dunno, it's just kind of uncomfortable. Like you're allowed to browse my past but I wished people let my ancient cringe stay in the past. But that's just me) Like for example I feel like OP has a fundamental misunderstanding what being "trans" really even means (thus I don't agree with their take on trans Croc), but again, OP's take is old and so I don't want to hold it against them. They could have grown since then and come to better understand what being trans means, and regardless of that they don't have to buy into the theory either. And I absolutely do not want anyone to start trying to pester them about it or anything (again, they posted these things nearly 10 years ago), regardless of if they're still active or not. But yeah, that's why this is a whole separate post rather than a reblog with commentary.

So OP in their post speculated how in this moment (chap 206), based on the face he makes and the serious look he gives to Luffy, Crocodile seems to find the idea of someone being willing to die for someone else's sake absolutely incomprehensible, as if he's trying to wrap his head around the mere concept. That, or he used to know what it was like to hold someone/something that dear to you, but has long forgotten what it was like

Rereading this arc a while back I couldn't help but to take notice of this panel too and that unusual, somber(?) look on Crocodile's face. But because I'm a Crocodad Truther, of course I couldn't help but to feel that this was a face of recognition, of Crocodile understanding Luffy exactly in this moment, that willingness to do anything for a loved one. Especially because I have been speculating Crocodile might've been doing all of this with the goal of nuking the World Government out of orbit to protect his long lost baby boy (it's just that he simply finds Luffy's insistence on protecting this random ass princess from a random ass country he has zero ties to ridiculous, as opposed to like, doing all of this to protect immidiate, close family)

So again, despite the different reading it is validating as hell to see someone else think this panel in particular was odd. But the more I thought about it, I did kind of start leaning towards OP's reading. Now this one was originally pointed out by opbackgrounds, how in this scene (chapter 196) while Crocodile is meant to be laughing and mocking the royal guard for "throwing their lives away" to protect Cobra, he isn't actually smiling. We don't even get to see his full face with his eyes blacked out, so we don't get to see Crocodile's true feelings in this scene

And that does kind of reframe what he says in the second panel. For a long time I wondered if the implication was that Crocodile does actually value people's lives more than he lets on (especially with his seeming willingness to blow up a million people in a violent, orchestraded coup), just having a "small sacrifice for the greater good" kinda outlook (as we know, casualties can't be avoided in war, Croco and Luffy both agree on that) (where as I would IMAGINE Dragon having a more "no sacrifices, we have to save as many people as possible" kinda principle)

But now, looking at these two moments together, and knowing Crocodile has trust issues for unknown reasons, there is also that option that, perhaps... No one has ever shown that kind of loyalty towards him, a willingness to follow him to the grave or support him, to stay by his side? And if so, maybe, in these two scenes, Crocodile does recognize that kind of deep loyalty and trust and love, and has to cope with the fact that he has and may never experience it himself, that he's doomed to be alone, surrounded only by people who "respect him" out of fear (something that could be extra painful while knowing someone had just recently betrayed him by leaking his info to ruin his plans/after figuring out it was Robin, his very literal partner in crime. Like talk about rubbing salt into a wound).

And y'know, that is an extremely sad reading and I feel so bad for my poor little meow meow (that man needs a hug so bad), but also that doesn't really add to pushing The Crocodad Agenda, which is very unfortunate. Especially because I feel like between the two readings, Crocodile recognizing loyalty no one will ever show him (and being hurt by the fact) feels like a more comprehensive and simple reading, than if one is about him showing he doesn't fully believe in what he's doing is right and the other about him relating to Luffy on a deeper level.

But then, as OP pointed out in their post, for the entirety of page 2 of Chapter 207 while Luffy is keeling over from the poison finally kicking in, Crocodile looks like he's fully letting down his walls to express genuine relief, as if the those beliefs Croc had carried and convinced himself were true were just confirmed

What're his beliefs again? That trust in others is worthless, and you can not afford to have ideals if you're weak, great strenght being the only thing that allows you, if not straight up justifies you, in doing whatever you please? Now, maybe it's just me, but if Crocodile was showing relief here over his belief that trusting others is worthless after being reminded time and time again of the love and loyalty the Strawhats have for each other and the Alabastan kingdom has for everyone in it (etc)... I dunno, I feel like that would be kind of weak, if that's where Crocodile's internalized beliefs were wavering. But if Crocodile's whole Utopia-plan had been about destroying the WG to protect his baby boy (and release the whole world from the WG's oppressive rule while he's at it) at whatever cost, while he deep inside knew what he was doing was fucked up beyond belief... Yeah, Crocodile trying to convince himself what he was doing was "justified" would make sense. Him having his beliefs potentially even waver a little bit through out this whole ordeal would make sense. Crocodile in this moment experiencing relief that what he had told himself was the righteous would make sense.

Everybody remember's Doflamingo's speech from Marineford, about how history is written by the victors and its them who decide what is right and what is wrong- the winner becomes "justice" itself. Vegapunk kind of called back to this concept during his broadcast too, and yeah, Crocodile did kind of introduce us to it back in Alabasta. If he had won, he would have been "justified" in what he had done, because it'd be him who'd be deciding what's right and what's wrong.

Now I don't really have anything else to add to that post in particular (though I absolutely love the reading on the Crocodile vs Robin part and now that I've read it I can't unsee nor disagree with it), but OP did make a separate post speculating about some of design decisions Oda made regarding Crocodile, starting with discussing the logo for Baroque Works. And they pointed this out

Bro wrote this in 2015, they have no idea, oh my god, dude had no clue whatsoever

So quickly looking that one up and yeah, wings have sometimes been used to represent the sun (most commonly with the sun, as a winged sun?) and yeah, that actually has a lot of meaning in the current state of the series re: God of Liberation the Sun God Nika. But what's more is that this is actually the SECOND time we're actually finding a way to link Crocodile to sun-symbolism, the other being Crocodile being a reference to the Egyptian god Sobek (protector god, god of military, go to Wikipedia), who has an alternative form (/fusion with Ra) called Sobek-Ra, where he is a sun god. And what was Crocodile trying to do in Alabasta if not falsely "liberate" the country from its original rule. Also worth noting is that seemingly the winged sun was most commonly used in Egyptian iconography, so if Oda ever did research Egyptian mythology for inspiration in Alabasta (which, considdering the sheer amount of Stuff in the story as a whole is more than likely), then it is very possible he could have read about the winged sun and used it intentionally.

But what I do find interesting is that, yeah, wings kinda are a symbol one would considder "heroic" or related to "freedom". And, as I have been going on and on about, if Crocodile's ultimate goal in creating his funny little "utopia" was to overthrow the World Government and "free" the whole world of their rule. Like. That really lines up with the whole symbolism with the sun and the liberation and the freedom and shit, like. Why does it line up so neatly good dear god

I dunno how to end this post, these were just a few little things that I had been thinking about after coming across OP's blog and, yeah, just wanted to discuss them.

Again, OP hasn't been active for years, but if they did suddenly come back please don't bother them or god forbid harrass them/try to get them to change their mind about trans Croco. Just don't start shit, please.

End of post byeeeeeeee

[redjaybathood]

i was blocked by the user who posted this - good riddance; people who are blocking me lately are not the people in general I would like to interact with, since they want me and my country dead - but here's the link.

this (the croudfunding project user posted) is great (maybe, I don't know if they're trustworthy) but i'd like to address the tweet on the first screenshot above. Please read the text below after you donate to Palestine and Sudan's women, if you personally find this user trustworthy; because while I am pissed af, women in war zones do need your help.

"I remember this headline addressing women's health in Ukraine" - curious, because as a Ukrainian woman, I do not, in fact, remember this headline addressing women's health in Ukraine. I did remember buying a menstrual cup for like. A whole lot of money. Because there was a blockade around the city, nothing goes in and out, so pads disappeared pretty quick, quicker than I got the money to buy them, so when I did have the money, I had to use an expensive and really really uncomfortable device because I had no alternative. Well, unless toilet paper or cotton can be considered an alternative. (do not recommend)

Don't get me wrong, I found an article (amount: 1; one) with this headline, posted in March 2022, that did mention Ukrainian women and humanitarian relief for them needing to include feminine hygiene products. But you know who else the article mentioned? 40 millions of displaced women and girls around the world since 2020.

The article also mentioned refugees and displaced women and girls since 2014. I did not, in fact, hear anything about anyone sending pads as humanitarian aid to Ukraine in 2014. Funny, right? Because the war started 10 years ago, and it took the world eight years to get on the page.

But Razi on twitter here doesn't think so. They think it's unfair, that there's been a whole article shared a whole of eleven times on twitter since March 2022. Yeah, Razi, good memory you have.

Well. I might be unfair to Razi. Maybe they don't mean to do that thing where you mention Ukraine only to boost engagement, by pitting Ukraine and other countries, such as Palestine or Sudan, against each other. With the main message being: Ukraine "steals" the aid that should have come to us! Nobody helps us but they help Ukraine! And the takeaway your audience has: bad Ukraine, stop helping it.

Maybe they didn't mean to. But this is a pattern, and there are consequences. And those consequences leave Ukrainians dead.

(and yeah, for the op I linked - they 100% do it intentionally; the only times they mention Ukraine is only for this reason)

Please. Please, please, please, STOP pitting Ukraine against your cause of the week - most people doing that didn't really post anything about Gaza or Sudan before Oct 7. (Raza themself only woke up to Gaza in December, but at least they did care about Sudan before).

I know the perception is that the whole world is enthusiastically helping Ukraine but... this is not really the case, unfortunately.

[invye]

So I did some calculating (read: guesstimating, since I am still prohibited from looking at the wiki bc of spoilers) and I figured out the following:

During Dressrosa we learn Law got his Devil Fruit 13 years ago. If I remember correctly, Luffy got his 10 years before start of the show + two years timeskip + a couple months in change where they were actively travelling = 12 and a half(+?) years ago.

Now add in a bit of fanfic handwaving timeline adjusting and we're left with the realisation: Rosinante is fated to die saving Law at the same time Shanks loses his arm saving Luffy.

And the consequence of that leaves the potential for the CoraMiShanks Fix It AU to have all of them on Kuraigana at the same time, recovering physically, mentally and emotionally from everything that just happened.

So let me (lengthily) unravel the timeline of events under the cut:

Cora-san and Law learn of the Ope Ope No Mi and get going, informing Mihawk of their plans, who promises to catch up to them to help and asks them to wait.

Cora does not, in fact, wait; feeling the chance slip through their fingers between Doffy and the Marines going after it as well

In the North Blue, Cora is shot. In the East Blue Shanks has his arm bitten off.

Mihawk arrives just in time to scoop up a despodent Law and watch the silence spell break; it starts a race against time to find Rosinante and bring him to the village doctor/clinic whatever place where he can be treated. This also requires Mihawk to somehow manage pulling Law from 'all is lost' mode into 'crisis solving' mode, because he's the one with the medical knowledge to even begin having a chance at saving Rosinante.

In the East Blue Shanks is gritting his teeth trying not to lose control over his Haki as Hongo does his job to fix as much of his arm as is possible.

12 frantic hours later Rosinante is barely hanging on to life, but at least a number of lead bullets lighter. Law is so exhausted he's shaking, only not passing out because he's also still suffering his own pain. Mihawk is woozy and unsteady because he has just donated much more blood than medically advised to replace all that Rosinante has lost.

The Marines arrive on Minion Island. Mihawk is planning on using his Warlord status and intimidate their way off the island, only for Sengoku to find them first. Sengoku is faced with the pain of watching his adopted son unconscious on that bed, halfway to death, only still alive because of the actions of the Warlord least inclined to ever follow orders and the little kid who shows all signs of his body going through the adjustment of just having consumed a Devil Fruit. Sengoku helps them leave the island unseen. Its the least and simultaniousy last he can do.

Mihawk calls Shanks. Rosinante is still unstable, and for all the knowledge Law has, he severely lacks the experience, and there is only one other doctor Mihawk knows and trusts with this. Shanks promises that they will be at Kuraigana in no time. Mihawk hears the pain in his voice, but Shanks asks that they talk about that in person.

The Red Force arrives at Kuraigana first, which is good because it gives Hongo time to set up and sees Benn and Shanks in a position to catch Mihawk when he stumbles off his boat, having pushed so far that he hasn't slept in who knows how long to get them here as fast as possible. Shanks leaves Benn to help him and assists the kid. Hongo spends the next couple hours fixing whatever can be fixed to further stabilise Rosinante. Law insists on helping, or at least being there. The Ope Ope No Mi is not magic, but Law is willing to put the work in.

Shanks watches over Rosinante so Mihawk and Law can rest. Also so that he doesn't have to face Mihawk yet.

Hongo gives Mihawk the medical run down, including Law and Shanks' state at Mihawk's request, before slipping him a sleeping aid.

So here they all are. In various amounts of horrible pain and scared of the immediate future.

Law fears for Cora-san while also not knowing if the Devil Fruit actually saved him. Rosinante is only ever regaining consciousness in short bursts, and calling for Law in all of them. Shanks is suffering horrible phantom limb pain but lies about it so he doesn't have to talk to Mihawk about losing his sword arm yet. And Mihawk is emotionally overwhelmed to the end of the world, scared for Rosinante, scared for the kid, scared for what is going to become of Shanks and himself now.

Perfect, ever stoic Mihawk wants to scream. Yell at Rosinante for not waiting. Yell at Shanks for not being more careful. But that won't help any of them. So he makes food. Recruits the kid into cutting vegetables to keep him occupied and moving while they wait. Writes down the list of things that contain gluten that Rosinante can't have. Writes down the list of foods that have textures Law can't stand (and doesn't Mihawk know that feeling from his childhood). He makes stew because Shanks can eat it with one hand without needing to ask for help. Makes enough to feed Benn and Hongo who won't be going anywhere for the forseeable future too. Honestly he's lost track just how much he owes them now.

And at some point, when his mind stumbles out of merely functioning and falls face first into reality, Mihawk sits in the dark and allows himself to cry.

Because he almost lost them. He almost lost them all.

[beautiful-basque-country]

I saw something on TV once, I think it was a National Geographic show, where they mentioned that theory that Basque is perhaps the only surviving language from when Neanderthals were alive. Do you mind me asking why you mentioned in that recent post you didn’t want to comment on the theory?

Is it because most people use it as a racist attack? Deplorable, and those people deserve to be smacked.

The show did like a 15 minute segment on the theory and went over how the language is an isolate and compared to other languages, while it is evolving, it hasn’t really been changed/impacted by other languages. So ultimately the current language and older forms of it aren’t drastically different, unlike how something like modern English and Old English are basically two different languages at this point. They then said it’s likely that if any writing existed from the Neanderthal period anyone who knew Basque would probably be able to read it and speak whatever was written without much difficulty.

I just thought it was so cool something could be so well taken care of and respected that it basically hasn’t changed. Fascinating to think someone today could hold a conversation with someone else from so long ago! Lord knows I’d be screwed if you dropped me into the Middle Ages and told me to go speak to King Alfred.

Even Latin! We have no idea how it was actually spoken and how anything was pronounced. We’re just guessing.

Sorry if other people toss that theory at you to insult you!

Kaixo anon!

Thanks for your message!

I have to clarify the post you mentioned was a reblog and I just added the last pic, so you'd have to ask OP about why they don't wanna comment on that theory ^_~.

That said, no: I don't care what that documentary said, Basque is not the language of the Neanderthals. They're believed to have appeared around 200,000 years ago and disappeared 40,000 years ago; even if we consider that Basque was a descendant of their language - and that's assuming Neanderthals spoke a single language, from Europe to Asia - it's completely impossible that a 21st-century Basque speaker could understand this presumed original Neanderthal language.

The Hand of Irulegi - an artifact around 3,500 years old - displays a Vasconic text and nobody knows what it says, and that's knowing that Vasconic was an ancestor of nowadays Euskara. Even nowadays, a Spanish speaker can't understand Latin - except maybe a couple of words - and Spanish diverged from Latin not too long ago, around the 10-11th century. Can you imagine a 40,000 years gap between two languages??

And of course Basque have been impacted by the surrounding languages. Basque people haven't lived isolated in an island with no contact whatsoever with other peoples, quite on the contrary, we've lived with many cultures thoughout our history, from Iberians to Romans, to Franks, to Berbers and Arabs, to Spaniards. Basque has influences of all of them, be it loanwords or more technical remains. As you say, it's an evolving language that hasn't started evolving now, it's been doing it for millennia!

Regarding the theory being thrown as a racist attack, don't worry, it isn't! It all comes from genetics and genetic studies that show some very little differences in Basque people. In some of these studies it was concluded that Basque and Asturians, probably due to the difficult geography of our regions, were left more isolated from the Iron Age on, and hence we have the oldest lineage in Iberia. This is explained by guessing that these populations were less multiethnic and probably more endogamic. Given this situation, the DNA is slightly different - slightly! - and we have more DNA that comes directly from prehistory than the rest. Period.

But there's this obstinacy to take Basque people - just like Aztecs or Ancient Egyptians - as a mystery because there are many gaps in our history and language that science hasn't still explained and some people feel the need to fill them with crazy theories. Like the one that said that Neanderthals didn't go extinct but that nowadays they're known as.. Basques! When we already know that Neanderthals were a completely different species from Homo Sapiens: so if modern Basques are Homo Sapiens now as we know we are, I'm sorry, but we're no longer Neanderthals if we ever were.

Sorry for the long answer!

[beaulesbian]

I was only today years old when I realized that Trafalgar Law's names are probably references to two battles that led in our real life history to a certain emperor (Napoleon)'s defeat.

*arrives 10 years late with a meta post because of a realization*

uhh Dressrosa spoilers, I guess.

Trafalgar and Waterloo... Water Law.

In One Piece world that emperor being Doflamingo, who suffered two major loses thanks to Law's existence:

First being cca 13 years ago from the main storyline - at the Minion Island where Corazon managed to get the Op-op devil fruit for Law and saving his life from Doflamingo. On that island, Doflamingo lost both Corazon and the devil fruit he wanted to much to get his hands on, as well as Law, someone who he wanted to use as the sacrifice to get the immortality via the devil fruit's powers.

Tbh I haven't really heard about the Trafalgar battle before today. When I first heard about Trafalgar Law as character while I started to read One Piece only cca 5 months ago, I only thought "huh, isn't that a square in England, I was there on a trip once" but didn't look more into it now.

So I just skimmed throught the wiki pages of those battles, I don't know all the details, I don't want to compare it too much, but some maybe similarities/parallels that piqued my interest:

The Battle of Trafalgar were the spanish-france forces against english navy, and Donquixote/Dressrosa arc including all those spanish themes, as well as Law being from the North Blue (where Sanji and Mont Blanc Noland are/were also from) being a bit influenced by France, plays interesting role when this happened in North Blue as a prelude to what would 13 years later happen in Dressrosa (the birdcage, Doflamingo's rule, the puppets, etc).

This part of the Trafalgar battle describing the british was at first outnumbered, that the spanish had more ships along with one of their biggest one:

reminded me of how Corazon himself faced with the whole Donquixote family, including Doflamingo:

and some more interesting similarities how the "hero" of the battle died even before it ended:

but thanks to his informations, the Navy later arrived, and Law got away.

(even on the wiki of the Trafalgar battle there were mentions of some false informations, previous pursuits of the ships and admirals etc, so that vibe kind of fits.)

I haven't read much about the Waterloo battle, except how known it is for being the final defeat of Napoleon, by Coalition armies - which would nicely parallel to Law and Luffy starting their own Alliance during Dressrosa, and thanks to that it caused for Luffy to be there to beat Doflamingo once and for all.

Some other small details I noticed:

The Don Quixote book was apparently first published in two parts, one in 1605 and the other in 1615.

The battle of Trafalgar happened in 1805, and the battle of Waterloo in 1815.

I found one person even connecting the date when was published the chapter of Doflamingo's deafeat in Dressrosa - 18th of June, 2015, which is the same date only 200 years later after Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.

I love that in some sense both battles have in common water, and for the One Piece world that is connected with pirates and ships - with the historical aspects the battle of Trafalgar being a naval battle, and Waterloo for the Water in Trafalgar D. Water Law - he concealed his full name from Doflamingo for all those years, his secret name as well as the will of the Ds. - for our world a possible reference if one looks more that he really was meant to be Doflamingo's downfall.

There's just something beautiful about Law's whole existence to be a sort of a foretelling of the fall of one of the emperors of the sea, just by having these names. And it's not just the names of his, but the parallels to the situations and results of the incidents taking place at those locations.

It's literally a middle finger to Doflamingo:

[archivists-plus-one]

So, after this episode of TMAGP, I have some thoughts.

(Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to episode 10 below. You have been warned.)

First of all, Mr Bonzo is terrifying and I am regretting making a model of him, which now sits and watches me from my bedroom shelf. I have so many questions, and nowhere near enough answers to satisfy my brain.

But what got me even *more* is what happened at the Magnus Institute ruins with Sam and Alice.

And who is this [ERROR] (Voiced by Beth Eyre) that is seemingly unleashed from the institute ruins at the end?  

Well, I don't know. But I do have a bit of a theory...

What do we know about [ERROR]? Well. Not much. But I did come across this casting call from RQ, posted by @pinkelotjeart, which at the time they thought might be about Celia, however I can't see how it could be anybody if not [ERROR].

Mysterious? Absolutely. Hostile? If they're not, I'd be shocked. Raspy voice? If that breathing was anything to go by, definitely. Initially dormant, trapped + forgotten for twenty years? Well, the institute burned down just over twenty years ago, so I'm going to say that's a match too. Now the line that interested me most is the one that OP also highlighted - "building an identity for itself at the expense of its victims". 

What else have we seen "building an identity for itself"? Something that Colin has warned Alice against personifying over and over again? FR3-D1. And Freddie certainly seems to be taking its toll on Colin, who could feasibly be it's "Victim"...

Now what exactly does this mean? I don't know! But noting that [ERROR] is also the way Jonny, Alex + Tim Fearon's character names were written out by RQ when the casting was announced (as they couldn't do the glitchy effect from the images), it feels significant. 

But like I said. I don't know. That being said, imagine, for a moment, that you are this "[ERROR]" character...

You know your body is under the Magnus Institute, so you wait, biding your time, collecting as much information as you can. You watch through people's devices - harder, at first, but it gets easier and easier as technology advances. Some select few get the chance to relive their experiences, a "test screening" of sorts you name 'Voyeur' - you need to check your recordings are accurate somehow. You get involved with a tattoo artist named 'Ink5oul', who helps you out by live streaming their tattoo processes, showing you what the symbols they tattoo onto their clients mean, and how they combine.

You're not entirely undisturbed in your tomb under the Institute, of course - some idiots come poking around. It's a newer craze, "urban exploration", but you need it to stop. You find the most popular urbex forums, and, using the moderators accounts, make sure that your ruins are marked as "cleared" - there's nothing interesting to find there, so nobody will bother you. 

That is, until someone who goes by the name of "RedCanary" comes to the ruins, and almost destroys everything. It isn't time yet. You find their post about the Institute and see that they're planning to post photos of the symbols that have been drawn over the ruins. That will only invite more interest, you can't have that. So you go through their phone and warp the photographs they took beyond recognition. You send them "anonymous" threats, making it look like it's through the forums. You use their webcam to watch them, making them more and more paranoid. The paranoia makes you stronger. You dispatch of them, and take a photo as a warning to everyone else, then post it on the blog. That'll keep them away. 

When you've gathered enough audio data to learn to emulate voices, you start to speak. You read out the cases that will give the OIAR employees the tools they need to help you in your plight. But nobody notices. You can't be too specific, that'd only lead to more people poking around the ruins, destroying your chance. No, you need the right person. Somebody who understands The Magnus Institute, who can help you properly. 

And then, conveniently you listen to the interview of one "Samama Khalid", and know that it's your time. He was on the list from KLAUS. So you start slipping in hints, waiting for him to get involved. And he does. And now he's freed you, and has absolutely no idea what he's just unleashed.

Anyway! On that happy note! What does any of this mean? Who knows! I am very excited to see where this goes. But I will leave you with a couple of thoughts:

- If [ERROR] was created "from someone on the point of death", is this how the other voices in FR3-D1 appeared? In which case, that leaves Jon, Martin + Jonah (?) dead. Did [ERROR] die in the fire that destroyed the Institute? Were they the cause of the fire?

- How are the artifacts we've seen so far (the dice + violin) related to all of this?

- How are Starkwall involved in all of this?

- And last of all, how do I destroy my model Mr Bonzo? I never want to witness his horrible face again.

If you've made it this far, well done. Let me know what you guys think! Happy listening!

[bestworstcase]

You know, if the possibility of Summer not only being Salem's final lieutenant, but also possibly the person who accidentally killed the Spring Maiden (and who might also be Gretchen Rainart based on a previous theory mentioned somewhere)...

That's gotta be reaaaaaaally awkward if Summer was ever around Hazel at any point.

i’ve mentioned this before i think (<- i assume by “mentioned somewhere” you mean you read a theory post but can’t remember where in which case, the op was probably me, i’ve been on this train for a while) but:

the official story is that gretchen rainart, after enrolling at beacon academy, “tragically lost her life” on a training mission

per lionheart, the spring maiden was “determined, at first, when she inherited her powers, but the weight of responsibility proved to be too much for the child. she... ran. abandoned her training, everyone. that was over a decade ago.”

per raven: “she was scared when we found her! weak! no matter how much training i put her through, she never learned! she wasn’t cut out for this world! and with those powers, she would’ve been hunted her entire life. what i did—”

(“and which we are you referring to?”)

raven: “that’s why i tried to leave when i did. i’m not afraid, i’m smart.”

raven left taiyang shortly after yang was born. this would be approx. 15-16 years ago as of the beginning of V1. however, her statement that she “tried to leave” suggests that she stayed (reluctantly?) entangled with ozpin’s cause for longer.

eyeballing it, summer left when yang was around five and ruby about three. this would be about 12 years before the start of V1 and 3-4 years after raven broke things off with tai. since raven and summer were obviously still in close contact then, this tracks with the interpretation that leaving tai <> leaving ozpin.

‘more than a decade ago’ is vague but presumably means >10 and <20. so spring running away would have occurred approx. 10-18 years before the start of V1.

hm.

“nice story. but if gretchen’s death taught me anything, it was never to trust you.”

let’s consider the case of the runaway spring maiden. and, more specifically, the assumptions the fandom (myself included) have tended to make.

first assumption: the spring maiden trained in mistral or at haven academy.

no one ever says as much. qrow’s suggestion that the spring maiden was “picked up” by the branwen tribe after she ran away does not, in a world where trans-continental travel is commonplace (and was explicitly safer a decade+ ago than it is now), necessarily imply she ran away from haven. weiss got picked up by the branwen tribe after she ran away from atlas, after all.

likewise, amber’s presence at beacon and, later, fria’s in atlas prime the audience to link the spring maiden to haven. however, both amber and fria were in the academies because they were medically fragile and not expected to live for very long; prior to cinder’s attack, amber was traveling in rural vale, tailed by qrow. it also makes sense, in general, not to keep the living keys to the vaults in the same fortress as the vault they can open.

second assumption: lionheart knew her.

this follows from the assumption that she attended haven, but look at what’s missing from lionheart’s account: he never uses self-referential pronouns. his syntax leaves it ambiguous whether he knew this girl or if he’s simply repeating information he was given.

third assumption: raven’s “we” is the tribe, and she’s talking about finding the spring maiden after the girl ran away.

before V9, this was more plausible, but i don’t think it adds up now that we know raven was still at least notionally aligned with ozpin, via summer, as recently as twelve years ago. in order for “we” to mean the tribe, raven would have had to actually leave (as opposed to “trying to leave”); thus, either summer was conspiring with raven while raven was leading the tribe, or raven met the spring maiden after whatever went down with summer, in which case the third person involved is a complete mystery. the former is possible, but i think the simpler explanation—that this “we” is ozpin’s circle—is more plausible.

especially because what raven says lines up with what lionheart says. except for “she was determined at first,” but even if lionheart did know her, raven was clearly much closer to her and is the type to see through any façade the girl might have put up. (pyrrha was also “determined” but you know that if raven knew her, she would remember how scared pyrrha was. same principle likely applies here.)

fourth assumption: “what i did—” is solely about raven mercy-killing her.

which, it might be.

but if “we” means ozpin’s circle, that would mean raven was training the spring maiden on his behalf—and because it doesn’t really make sense for #3 to be anyone but the spring maiden, we can assume with high confidence that raven had a kindred link with her, ergo she loved the kid like her own family.

the spring maiden “ran away.” gretchen rainart “tragically lost her life on a training mission.” raven “tried to leave.” summer and raven and a third person were involved in a rogue mission to end things once and for all, none of them ever came back, and raven never told anyone what happened.

all of these things happened a bit more than a decade ago.

“what i did—”

i think she’s talking about summer’s last mission. the young spring maiden was overwhelmed, scared, struggling to learn what she needed to learn—and she had a huge target painted on her back because of salem. raven cared about her. if she wasn’t cut out for this world, the one defined by eternal war between ozpin and salem, then maybe the answer is to change the world. end it, once and for all. (sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall?) so she conspires with summer to do exactly that.

and then it goes so catastrophically wrong that a) summer joins salem, b) there’s a fight, c) gretchen is mortally wounded, d) raven either mercy-kills her or just can’t save her, and e) raven becomes the spring maiden.

ok.

now. if gretchen was the spring maiden, how do we square the circle of “died on a training mission” vs “ran away”?

in V3, qrow talks about having to search for maidens and in V5, ozpin says that one of the reasons he gave the branwens bird forms was to make it easier for them to search for new maidens when the transference of power was “unclear.” gretchen enrolled at beacon “against her brother’s wishes” and hazel holds ozpin responsible for her death; i think she was the spring maiden before she enrolled, raven identified her, and ozpin recruited her personally.

(if only because unknown maidens are mentioned twice in connection with the branwens and that has yet to pay narrative dividends; and it fits quite nicely.)

it does not go well. gretchen gets more freaked out with every new inkling she’s given of the conspiracy and is under intense pressure not to back out or tell anyone on the outside what’s happening. raven, her mentor/handler, sours more and more on the whole situation and eventually decides she’s not going to be a part of it anymore.

she’s not backing down from the fight. she’s not running away. but she’ll give gretchen a way out and make sure no one else can find her, and if that blows up her relationships with the rest of the inner circle, so be it.

so the spring maiden runs away. “abandons” her training, except raven still knows where she is and is still trying to help her figure out the magic because, well, she’s sort of stuck with it until she dies. gretchen can’t go home yet (salem might find her), but she can lay low and focus on mastering this power to defend herself away from the pressure of being one of ozpin’s guardians.

raven refuses to tell anyone where gretchen is. hazel is getting increasingly frantic; either she’s dropped out of contact or her vague, cryptic messages have him worried. nobody at beacon can give him a clear answer.

several years go by. the situation does not improve. somehow or another summer and raven cook up a plan to Fix Everything by taking salem down. it goes horribly wrong. summer joined salem, gretchen is dead, raven is the one left standing with blood on her hands and magic in her soul, after years of obfuscating where the spring maiden went.

what to do?

tell no one about summer. no one would fucking believe her if she told the truth. refuse to answer questions about her bond to summer, no one will think twice about her doing that because it’s what she did when gretchen went missing, too.

tell hazel gretchen is dead. he deserves to know. what happened, and why it happened, but leaving out summer’s involvement. if she’s vague on how and when—if she makes it sound like she was too cowardly to tell anyone that she, perhaps, let gretchen die (“[you saved yang] once. because that was your rule.” <- qrow really believes this)—or couldn’t save her—she can reveal that gretchen is dead without linking her death too obviously to summer’s disappearance.

if ozpin hears that gretchen is dead from hazel—when the infuriated meltdown rampage happens—then he can quietly tap qrow to confirm (by talking to raven) and restrict who knows the truth; hazel’s explosive grieving anger is easy to spin as hysterical paranoia.

and playing gretchen’s death “close to the chest” is a classic ozpin move. after all, learning that gretchen has been dead the whole time will only sow negativity, and the situation doesn’t materially change very much either way; they’re looking for the spring maiden either way, and everyone is aware that gretchen might die before they find her, so they’re already keeping an eye out for unknowns. qrow knows the truth, but he’s not about to spill the beans to anyone without ozpin’s say so.

and summer’s the one who suggests recruiting hazel to salem, because it’s her fault gretchen is dead but she can at least bring hazel into the fight to tear down the system that led her there. (“you’ve never wondered why she recruited you? you, specifically, to help her find the relics?” <- a narratively interesting line of attack in that it explicitly puts this question in front of the audience, follows up with an unequivocal confirmation that salem sought hazel out very deliberately, and follows that with ozpin’s overtly manipulative and unsatisfying answer of “because hazel is easy to manipulate.” lots of people are easy to manipulate. why choose hazel? how did she even know about Just Some Guy who lost his sister?)

like

all it really requires to tie everything together around the discrepancies is for ozpin (a liar) and raven (a matryoshka doll of secrets she refuses to talk about) to be, er, lying and keeping secrets. and narratively gretchen being the spring maiden just makes sense, to almost the same degree that summer joining salem just makes sense. it’s intuitive. it fills in gaps the narrative quietly circled in V8. it tracks with gretchen being so important in the same volume that makes a huge thing of how no one knows what salem is really after. no more gretchens; so you’ve decided against vengeance for your sister, after all this time?; in pursuit of a new world.

but yeah like. it’s fun because hazel is so malleable and so good at pretzeling his thinking that he could conceivably have been told the truth—summer killed gretchen—and still been talked around to aiming all of his fury and vengeance at ozpin because 1. ozpin is the reason gretchen got pulled into this mess, and 2. gretchen died in the crossfires of a fight that broke out when summer learned the truth (that the war was one-sided paranoia), and 3. for salem and summer the point of this war is to end the paranoid conspiracy so nothing like this can happen again. but my god, the tension between him and summer could probably cut glass.

[nerd-fandom-drabbles]

Paper Trail

Description: Lucanis wrestles with the possibility of betrayal as he delves into the mysteries surrounding his capture and subsequent disappearance. With Rook by his side, they piece together what few clues they have.

2461 Words

Characters: Lucanis Dellamorte and femme, elven Rook

Pairings: Lucanis x Rook, hint of potential Teia x Viago

Genre: Mystery???? Hurt and comfort.

Content Warnings: I'd rate this T for teen. Mostly for a few dirty words in English and Spanish and some adult themes. Adult themes: mentions of violence, betrayal, suspicion, sex. Spite being less of a physical gremlin and more of a voice in Lucanis's mind.

WARNING: Spoilers for all released Dragon Age: The Veilguard gameplay footage as of 10/26/24, The Wigmaker Job, and Eight Little Talons. Not necessary to have read the Tevinter Nights stories, though. I probably over-exposit for clarity.

Note: Probably will be OOC once the game comes out. Story details will probably be totally wrong, too.

Note 2: This is a part 1 of ???? If anyone actually reads it I might feel cute and write more.

Lucanis Dellamorte was tiring of sifting through papers. Although normally he was happy to compile and review intelligence dossiers or post-op status reports, today, he faced another beast entirely.

He sat at an old oak desk in Emmrich's library facing off against a tall stack of envelopes, the newest of which were freshly delivered. The twine bindings and wax seals all broken, their contents had been dumped out and arranged in some vague groupings for analysis. He had read through them all at least once already, but felt like he was missing something obvious. Exhaustion aside, he wasn't ready to stop digging for clues just yet.

He let out a big sigh.

His positioning in the room wasn't ideal and he knew he struggled to concentrate because of it. He would have preferred to be sitting with his back to a wall, as would be usual for him, but that wasn't currently possible due to the layout of Emmrich's furniture. It was already kind enough of Emmrich to let him use his space without a condition of said use being a complete reorganization of the room. So, he was instead situated as close to the door as he could be, relying on the sounds of footsteps, gait recognition, and the wide oak door's creaks to give away any potential intruders.

As a result, when he heard those familiar, soft-heeled footsteps make their way to the door, he already knew what to expect. Still, she opened the door ever-so-slowly and crossed the room quietly, maybe on tip-toes. Probably trying to surprise him.

“Boo!” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek, “Did I get you?”

“Ah, yes, mi amor.” He responded flatly, and softly stroked her arm, “You got me.”

“Lies,” she whispered in his ear, “What are you up to?”

“Tying together loose ends... or trying to, anyway.”

“Loose ends?” she asked and pulled away from him. He instantly missed her warmth.

She leaned against the desk now, pawing at his papers inquisitively.

“Old ship records. You're looking for details of your capture?”

“You know the one,” He leaned back in his chair, and met her eyes, now giving her his full attention.

And indeed she did. A year before they had met, Lucanis had been the target of a devastating kidnapping plot on his return voyage to Antiva from Tevinter. Venatori had surrounded and overrun his vessel, and with nowhere to escape, he was captured. He had spent nearly a year in their custody, subject to endless torture and experimentation in retaliation for the assassinations that earned him his moniker: “The Demon of Vyrantium.”

By the time Rook and Neve found him in his underwater prison, he had been saddled with more than a few extra demons of his own. One of them more literal than any of them could have expected.

She swallowed, “Hmm.”

“Months ago, when we were in Vyrantium looking for Zara, I went seeking the manifest of my ship from that night.”

“Alone? I would have come with you.”

“I... didn't entirely trust you yet.”

She wasn't hurt by this. Knowing everything he had been through, his caution was more than warranted. Still, she wished she could have joined him.

“Anyway, with the ship's captain having been killed in the attack, I went to the local port authority and asked for a copy of any documents. They said the ship I was on was with an independent trading company, and they'd inquire to the local merchant's guild.”

“And it took this long for them to get back to you?”

“It seems that particular ship had an incomplete record. It took months of back and forth between the three of us to confirm that some parts of the manifest simply did not exist.”

“Convenient.”

He shot her a knowing look of agreement. He gestured to the mountain of papers and envelopes on his desk, “This is the result of those exchanges.”

Her heart skipped a beat as his glance returned to her. The quiet intensity in his eyes never ceased to strike her.

“I've been scouring for clues, but... nothing stands out,” he said, rubbing his beard and leaning over his papers, “Any thoroughly incriminating evidence must have been among the redactions.”

“Still, there might be something they missed. Even a fake name or suspicious piece of cargo might be of interest to us,” Rook replied, and when Lucanis nodded, she then continued, “Have you shared this with Neve, yet? Following this sort of paper trail is her bread and butter.”

“Ah no, not yet,” Lucanis swallowed, “I wanted to reach a conclusion on my own before getting a second opinion.”

Rook sighed. She knew the real reason was that he was still sorting out who among the Veilguard he could trust. She had earned his good opinion through ceaseless dedication, honesty, and an uncanny ability to help him through his arguments with Spite. The hot, soul-bearing sex had probably helped, as well. The others on the Veilguard team, however, had presumably not been so lucky.

“Well, there is one thing. Something I expected to see that, conspicuously, wasn't there.”

“What?”

“I don't want to say. Not yet. Not until I'm sure.”

She sighed. This was a lot. “You know, your grandmother suspected that you were betrayed. By an ally.”

He stared blankly, “She said that? To you? When?”

“When Neve and I first met with Crows regarding your whereabouts. Before we met.” Rook fiddled with one of the pens on his desk, “She said it was why she didn't tell anyone about the fake body at your wake. She didn't know who to trust.”

“Mi amor. That is an important detail,” His forehead creased with frustration and he rubbed his furrowed brow, “Why didn't you mention it earlier?”

“I planned to tell you eventually, but I knew the rest of the Crows were looking into it and would report to you if they found anything. Besides, I didn’t want to add to your worries if there wasn’t anything you could do in the meantime.” She shook her head, “You had enough on your plate.”

“That is for me to decide, Rook. I know you were trying to protect me. But that was for me to decide.”

“I'm sorry. I... should have told you sooner.”

“I'm a big boy. Don't leave me in the dark.”

He could feel Spite weaving a sickly web in the back of his mind. She hides. She lies. And you think she loves you? He fought against the thoughts, knowing Spite's only interest was in isolating him further.

He met her pleading eyes and sighed; he was utterly unable to stay angry at her. “That changes things. She may have kept records of her thoughts on the matter somewhere... But where?”

The obvious place to look would be their ancestral home, however, this was Caterina they were talking about. She had kept a million secrets, and probably had a million different places to stash them. Plus, if Caterina had been correct, and the traitor was a close ally, it's possible they may have already been beaten to the punch, with any evidence destroyed or altered... But even if so, it was another lead.

He wondered briefly if she might have kept a safety deposit box in a bank vault somewhere. As next of kin, he would be able to get his hands on it, but anyone else would likely have more trouble. Anyone else except...

He thought for a moment, and then asked, “Who else knows about that little tidbit?”

“Uh, just those of us who were in the room, I assume.” She counted on her fingers, “Teia, Viago, Neve, and your cousin.”

“Illario?” He paled and she nodded, “Shit.”

“Why, what's wrong?” She paused in her tracks, blood running cool in her veins, “You suspect him.”

“He was supposed to be on that ship with me, but ran off on a 'job' last minute. If he bought a ticket, his name would have been on the manifest next to mine, but it wasn't. The page was ripped out.” He growled, “I know. Convenient.”

“Your own cousin? Luca, but why would he-?” She stopped, her mouth becoming dry, “Oh.”

“Oh?”

More secrets. Spite hissed.

“I've been... spending some casual friend time with Teia.”

He raised an eyebrow. This was news to him. Not good or bad. Just... news.

“What? She's fun! And I think when she and Viago finally hook up, they'll be great for double dates.”

He cracked the slightest hint of a smile. He actually liked that idea, even if the chances were slim. Those two were utterly hopeless.

“Anyway, she told me about your rivalry.”

“Rivalry? What rivalry? There is no rivalry.” At least, no more than any other set of boy-cousins around a similar age.

“She also told me you'd say that,” she chuckled dryly, “That Illario was always comparing himself to you but you always brushed it off.”

“What? No, that's a misreading of the situation,” he shook his head, “No, I was just older, and so he followed me around like a puppy.”

“Vhenan, I love you. But you are literally brushing it off right now,” he let out an annoyed little groan, and she continued, “You were Caterina's favorite. Everyone thinks you should be the heir. He's barely even a contender. He's jealous.”

He blinked. He had considered Illario a suspect, but hadn't been able to pin down a compelling motive. There had been conflicts in their past, over everything from jobs to girls, sure, but enough to collaborate with their enemies to take down family?

And jealousy? What even was a little jealousy among relatives, anyway? He was jealous of Illario's even bronze skin, ease with women, and ceaseless, grating charm, but he would never wish him harm over it. They were different, yes, but that was what made their friendship work.

Still, he was pulled back to the Wigmaker job. That entire night, Illario had seemed preoccupied with the possibility that Lucanis would be selected by Caterina to take on the role of First Talon in her stead. In fact, Illario had asked on one - no - two separate occasions, what Lucanis would do if she tapped him. In response, Lucanis had been honest and told him that he had no desire for the role, and would prefer Illario have it for himself. But he'd also been honest that Caterina could force him into it if she wanted to, and that they would need a plan to convince her to name Illario instead. And at the time, Lucanis had assumed that was enough to sate him.

But maybe he'd gotten impatient. Maybe he was more ambitious than Lucanis had given him credit for? Maybe he wanted his dear cousin out of the picture entirely?

Fuck off, Spite. I feel you in there. The entity merely cackled and retreated to the deeper parts of his sub-conscious, done stoking his fire, for now.

Truthfully, Illario was only a somewhat skilled stealth infiltrator, but he certainly had enough skill to break into a lightly-guarded private shipyard and alter the records unseen. If the Venatori had reached out to him and made him an offer... maybe let him in on the plan to get rid of their Demon problem...

The simmering in Lucanis's blood turned to a boil. That made motive, means, and opportunity. He gripped the armrests of his chair so hard he thought they might break. After a few tense moments, he bit his thumb and muttered under his breath, “Ay, ese mierdito. Imbécil. ¡Bastardo, coño!” He clenched his fist.

The air in the library was thick with silence. It wasn't a huge outburst; he'd hardly moved, but still, Rook was surprised. She didn't have to speak Antivan to know that he was angrier than she'd ever seen him. This was highly unusual, to say the least, and she wasn't sure what to do. It was far more common for her to have to pry his feelings out of him, or ply him with alcohol or affection to get him to emote at all. And even then, even with Spite's chiding haunting his waking thoughts, she'd never seen him so volatile. And yes, the circumstances were dire, but there were still so many unknowns.

“Luca, please. We don't know it was him.” She firmly placed her hand on the table and leaned towards him, “Besides, doesn't this all feel a little too easy? Anyone – anyone – could have requested copies of these documents. They're public record. Whoever did this knew we would get them eventually.”

“So?”

“So... The page was removed. His name might have been on it, but we can't know now. This could all be a frame job to tear you two apart when you need each other.”

He blinked hard, breathing heavy, slowly coming down from his rage.

“You're right. You're right. Thank you.” He took her hand and gave it a little kiss, “I'm sorry I-”

“We need more information,” she interrupted his apology. It wasn't necessary. Not from him. Not now. His rage, though perhaps momentarily misdirected, was perfectly valid in her eyes. And she knew that when the time was right, it would be useful.

He gave her hand a little rub with his thumb and then let it go. He took a deep breath. He fastened the nearest group of papers with a paper clip and set them down on the desk in a neat stack. He took another deep breath, firmly gripping the desk's edge. He needed to set aside his feelings and think clearly. Think. After a moment, he looked up at her.

“Let's set up a meeting with Teia and Viago. You, me and Neve. If we meet at Caterina's, we can kill two birds with one stone: go through her effects to see if we can dig up anything, and get a status report on anything they've uncovered through their investigations.”

“That's a good plan, Luca.”

He nodded. To anyone else, his expression might look neutral, but Rook knew him well enough by now to see the distress clearly on his face. Something about where he held his tension, probably. To be surrounded by so many enemies, and not know who to trust? Her heart sank for him. No wonder it had taken so long for him to open up to her.

“I hate seeing you like this, vhenan.” She reached out and placed a tender hand on his jaw. “Come.”

She pulled him into a warm embrace, and he melted into her, nuzzling into her neck as she snaked her arms around to stroke his hair and lower back.

“We will find who did this. I promise you."

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I've been wanting to watch this forever, and there have been subs since at least the start of the year, but per so many nyaa comments said subs are kind of shit. It was only just a week ago that these two movies came out on Netflix, and have subsequently been nyaa'd by erai. And with that, I've been able to watch the conclusion to the Sailor Moon Crystal saga. Finally.

These movies were pretty good! I can't shake the feeling that I'm so far removed from first watching Sailor Moon and whatnot to where I was… not confused at all - it's all easy to follow and all that - but I guess just not at the level of emotional investment I could've been. But despite that, I had a very good time - the stuff happening at this point in the story is so insanely high concept and far and away the series at its absolute most dramatic and it's really entertaining because of it, the lore starts going absolutely insane and as an extension of everything that's happened so far Usagi as a character feels at her most deeply tragic, which ofc consequently makes her standing up to it all anyway feel all the more powerful. I understand that Sailor Moon's place in popular culture is most prominently represented by the 90s anime but it's kind of insane how kiddy the franchise's reputation is when this late in the game it's as serious as it often is. Visuals I'd also say are confidently the best that Crystal's looked easily. Ami dies first which was sad I barely got to see her lol. But no, good time.

And from there I'm... well I kinda don't know how to feel. I feel something but I don't know how to parse it. Thinking about it, it's been about 4 and a half years since I finished what was at the time the entirety of Sailor Moon. Both 90s and Crystal. And about 3 years since I watched the Eternal movies. To have all that time pass and witness the final part of the story come out, again, it feels weird. It's a good feeling, cathartic, but weird. You know when I heard Sailor Star Song I was tearing up, and the handwritten thank you message from Naoko Takeuchi at the end got me even more so. Fun thing, that.

I would like to use this as an opportunity to spur me back into, if not necessarily reading right away, at least finish collecting the Sailor Moon manga volumes I'm yet to buy. I've been 6 volumes out of 10 into Eternal Edition for years now, like surely I can get that done. And ideally once I do, read the fucking thing - such is generally the point of books. Collecting at least the 90s anime would be fun but I don't think it's licensed in the UK and I'm not really in the mood to spend extra importing shit, you know how it is. But yeah no, good time.

Sailor Moon good. I rated Crystal stuff pretty high by volume, admittedly I'm sort of mixed on it anyway - it exists both as a faithful manga adaptation and a 90s nostalgia trip and at times doesn't commit enough to either front and feels sort of awkward. Even in Cosmos they played Moonlight Densetsu as the OP to the first movie and the ED to the second, like yes I remember Moonlight Densetsu, well done. But you know, still fun. Rough to start and I'd still say with full confidence I prefer the 90s anime, but definitely good. Again whenever I actually have read the manga we'll see what direction I end up leaning. End post.

[gideongrovel]

Bro 👏🏾 is 👏🏾 yapping 👏🏾 about 👏🏾 that 👏🏾 man 👏🏾 again!!! 👏🏾

I wish I could remember more about what my thoughts on E/nel were when I first watched S/kypiea all those years ago,,,,, i was like what 10?? maybe 11? maybe 12?? idk maths isn't mathing,, and idr if I met him first through the Funi dub, or though my copy of Grand Adventure on gamecube, or the manga itself I can't blame myself for not remembering since its been so fucking long,,, and OP is one of those things that's quite literally always been apart of my life,,,,, my obsession coming and going in waves, but still,,, idr it never not being a thing in my life,,,, 😭

but anywhoooo I have figured out a couple small pieces to the puzzle of why i have snapped all these years later, and why i want that man (E/nel)!!! Okay so since in my youth I use to ship with Z/oro (I do not anymore, i personally feel too grown for him, and im just not into him in a shippy way anymore) but when I was younger and into Z/oro, his S/kypiea outfit was my absolute favorite (gonna mention Grand Adventure again- id always pick that as his outfit in that game lol), but i think that was my main focus when watching/rewatching that arc back then lmao,,, And while im not religious now, i use to be a christian when i was younger,,, so E/nel's whole god shtick probs was an ick to me back then,,,, so thats also a potential reason of why i didnt feel any shippy feels to him when i was younger,,,, 🤔

but now in this current day and age,,, those barriers weren't there,,,,, god complexes are hot to me- i love blasphemy and i didnt have someone else drawing my attention,,,, so i think thats a couple reasons of why these feels arose,,, My preferences with characters i lust after is different now then it was back then, and he checks alot of boxes for me "maybe, just maybe, its mental illness innit" so its not surprising when i really think about it,,,,,, its just funny it took over a decade to like smack me in the face,,,,, especially cause ive seen the arc many of times so i had many chances for it to happen 😭😭😭

i cant find it but i saw diagram once, it was like two separate lines meeting, then going their separate ways, then meeting back up again,,, and thats what this feels like??? not in like a rekindled old flame way,,,, cause he never was a flame, he was just someone i knew,,,, idk i guess its more like an "Oh. Oh." moment,,, like actually catching romantic feel for him (and not just sexual ones like i originally thought it was) has felt kinda comforting in some odd way??? that may sound off the wall given the type of character he is lmao,,,,,

But my thoughts are like it was a "wrong place, wrong time" back in the day,,,, but now,,, now we found our ways back to each other, it may have taken some time but things have aligned perfectly,,, and we're together now, and that is what matters in the end,,,,

idk what im on about truly,,,, articulating my emotions for this man feels *make vague idk gesture* if you wasted your time reading this im legit sorry 💀 I just love E/nel alot,,,, and this development of feelings these past couple months has my head spinning

[agent-troi]

20 fanfic questions

thanks for the tag @randomfoggytiger!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

95.

2. What’s your total Ao3 words count?

368,619

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, Star Trek: TNG, Star Trek: Picard, the Star Trek novel-verse, and I just posted a fic for The West Wing

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Platonic Procreation, Eden, The MSR Files, Mother Knows Best, and Though the Heavens Fall (also I need to mention my current WIP Security Questions bc it's only three kudos away from a tie with fifth place!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most of the time! I usually respond to friends/ people I know well, or if someone pointed out something specific in my fic they liked. And I responded to every comment made on my West Wing fic so far bc I want the fandom to notice me😅

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lol I don’t write many fics with angsty endings (I do like writing angst sometimes but I need things to end happily😅) but I guess this would be Baby Blue, If I Could Only Break the Sky, or When We Were Whole (not sure which one would be the most angsty)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

so many! lol but I wanna single out Coda bc it was my attempt at wrapping up the mytharc and giving Mulder and Scully a happy ending with William (and giving Samantha’s storyline some actual closure lmao) and I think I did a decent job of it🤗

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did get a hateful comment on a fic not long ago (ironically, it was and still is my most popular fic by almost every metric so someone was clearly jelly lmao) and I’ve had a couple of comments in the past on different fics that weren’t quite hateful but more like critiquing/nitpicking character or writing choices.

9. Do you write smut?

no absolutely not never ugh

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t think I’ve ever written one! But I have ideas for TXF/Star Trek and TXF/SVU crossovers that I might write someday if I ever find the time/energy/inspiration😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so but I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No idea!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! The gang and I have co-written quite a few fics, which can all be found in this collection🤗

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

MSR of course!! But I will always have a soft spot for Riker/Troi and joshdonna is beginning to take up more and more space in my brain lmao

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a Riker/Troi amnesia fic that has been sitting in my notes for three years, every chapter either written, partly written, or outlined, but I just can’t make myself sit down and sort it out😫 also I used to start publishing fics before I was certain where I was going with them, and For War Alone is a relic of that (and it has also been sitting there since 2020 lol)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told I’m really good at dialogue, and I choose to take people at their word😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m addicted to adverbs, also I just love reusing the same words and phrases over and over- one time in a first draft I used the word ‘actually’ four times in a single paragraph!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love reading that! I feel like it makes the setting and characters and everything seem more realistic, but for writing it I pretty much need to rely on google translate or multilingual moots lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote a LotR fic a long time ago! But the first fic in my modern day stretch of fic writing was for the Star Trek novel-verse: Psi-Ops

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh gosh this is so hard but I’m gonna say Where A Million Stars Catch Fire bc I put in a lot of time and effort carefully constructing it as a tribute to Mulder’s birthday this year, and I’m really proud of how it ultimately turned out🥰

Tagging @tofuttim @katy-kt-katie @incidental-ao3 @cutemothman @mollybecameanengineer and whoever else who wants to do it!

[zipper-neck]

I invite any advice on this...

So I had a fallout with my stepdad for the same reason I fell out with my sister years ago: They had asked me, just making conversation as I was preparing to leave the house, "Where are you going?" And I know perfectly well they didn't mean to cross any boundaries, but I am a very private person — and I remember as a child, when adults asked you "What are you doing?/ Where are you going?", it was because they were suspicious and meant to hinder you, like getting pulled over by a cop. I want my activities to be completely unnoticed (even if it's just going to the grocery store). This type of question strongly annoys me.

Anyways, in each case with my sister and stepdad, I had responded in a way I THOUGHT was level and diplomatic but both of them took it as rudeness. With my sister, I had said something like "Please don't ask that question," but she said my tone was aggressive. And I was like, yes I sounded angry because I WAS angry! But can't you tell I'm trying my best to keep my tone measured and not instead snap "Mind your own business!" like I wanted to? That's the problem with this situation is that I can't leave and cool off and answer their question later, because not answering would be seen as rude too! I eventually would apologize and say I was wrong, and ultimately she never asked me that question again, so the confrontation "worked."

So I tried to take this lesson and be even more level when my stepdad asked the same question, so I said, "I take that as an invasive question," and abruptly left out the door. (So not terribly successful.) I COULD have just answered where I was going, but at that moment I was in a nasty mood and I wanted his habit of asking tedious interrogative questions to end then and there (my sister agrees his method of conversation comes off as interrogative which annoys both of us so I'm not exaggerating too much here).

Both times, I was also operating on the advice that it's better to talk out grievances than to say nothing and stew in resentment to avoid outbursts later, right? But if I upset people by betraying my anger while trying to speak diplomatically, what's the point? Like, I get it, I've been angry because although someone made a simple request of me, I didn't like their slightly annoyed tone. But I let it go because I knew they were still trying to be as nice as they could in that moment and have the problem fixed.

But stepdad was more hurt than sister was, in a way I am having trouble understanding via his text message. He didn't like being rebuffed only for trying to show interest in me and my life, and I get that. He said "I didn't cross any fucking boundaries," which is true only because I had not yet established this boundary with him and was then attempting to do so, so he is not responsible for having no prior expectation of it. But this can also maybe be read, "I did not cross any REASONABLE boundaries," as in the level of privacy most people are expected not to cross.

But he has already been unhappy with my increase in secretive behavior lately and refusal to explain anything (a story I plan to tell them 10 years from now, it's that kind of a secret). He went on to say, "You can't shut out your family," and this is where I can't tell what he's thinking because he has different notions of familial bonds than me. Like, what is he smoking? I don't tell my family about shit unless I'm compelled to, it's been that way my whole life. Family is literally the LAST people I want to know about anything (I only trust the confessional of Tumblr strangers). Don't get me wrong, they are not abusive. I'm just super uncomfortable around people who Know Too Much about me, and if they live in my house, there's no escaping the discomfort if I regret opening up to them. But I think stepdad takes this personally? I wonder if it would help if I explained, "I'm not keeping things from you specifically; I'm keeping everything from everyone." I think he expects more openness in familial bonds in an idyllic fantasy, evinced by one time when he said I ought to use their Amazon Prime account and I said no, because he'd be able to see my browsing/purchase history. (And also fuck Amazon.) And he said, "You shouldn't be embarrassed, we're family." And I thought, "Did it cross your mind you could start seeing dildos on the 'for you' page? Again, what are you smoking?"

But the worst is that ultimately he wants a bond with his stepchildren and I am totally uninterested. And I think it's important I never admit this, that I never say, "Just literally treat me like a sublet tenant, please ignore me and don't take an interest in my life. And also don't expect holiday gifts from me because gifting is a pain in the ass. All I can give you is rent money because I can't provide an emotional bond. Aren't you so glad you live with me?" Like, there's a time when the truth should NOT be known.

Anyways. I haven't responded to his text yet because I don't know what I could say to make this better. I said sorry once but I seem to have caused even greater harm than I thought. I've been avoiding him all day. Any advice?

[thedarkestgreys]

tagged by both @stannisfactions and @theangrypomeranian 🖤🖤 thank you friends!

How many works do you have on AO3?

67 but something new is popping up for halloween

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

so it says 976,114 but 266,429 of those words are from @baratheonbrotherspresent group written co-op fics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Fexi/Euphoria right now. but i've also written fics for ASOIAF/GoT, Eternals, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, and Teen Wolf over the last near decade.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

your violent overnight rush (fexi) stages (jonsa) and i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) (drukkari) slow hands (drukkari) and then a fic that i currently have hidden 😅

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! even if it's a quick TYSM FOR READING. i always appreciate when readers take the time to leave a comment, and i want to show my love back.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think i've written anything with an angsty ending tbh. yes, lots of angst in various fics, but i'm a happy ending girlie through and through.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

as stated above, im a happy ending girlie. but maybe my heart's gone double time if i had to choose.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i haven't in a long time, but in the past yeah. like drove me away from a ship and shut down my interest in writing for like a solid year. it wasn't even about the writing, it was about the plot (a Sweet Home Alabama AU) and the comments were unnecessary (go read the wiki on the movie yall its not hard) and it just sucked lol. that was a hot minute ago though. we're good now.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

hahahaha do i write smut???? i have an internal checklist of all the smutty things i haven't written yet that i want to give a go, so you could say that. (note: daddy kink is off the list and never to be seen from me again)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i do not! but i like to write a lot of AU's of different media.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know of, no i haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had some offers in the past to have things translated back in the GoT days but i never gave the okay on it simply because it was a fic i never completed (ya girl used to get in over her head)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

technically the BBP fics are cowritten but we all did our own chapters following a basic outline of plot/storylines and worked around what other authors were posting. it was chaos and hilarious and the most fun i've ever had

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

to write for? i'd have to say it's fexi, they unlocked a new level in my brain as an author. shout out to my favorite non-canon little crackship that could podrya though - i'll love you forever. to read? this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child. i've read so many incredible fics across a ton of different fandoms. but god i guess the ones i still seek out frequently is dasey and dramione. wouldn't say i have a favorite though?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i really want to finish but the wolves came and went and i think i'm sitting on at least two chapters completed for it right now lol someday i'll sit down and finish writing the whole thing and get it posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

plotting. world building. exposition. keeping characters in character. i've been told i'm good at writing big emotions too?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i've improved greatly but i still struggle with dialogue. 🙃

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

okay so. when i was writing slow hands as i got further into the story i really started describing the actual sign language being used by makkari and druig. hours of watching asl videos to pick out different words or phrases to translate. it was fun and it was hard work and i ended up with a whole new appreciation for asl. but it also felt important to really dig into describing the asl and i'm glad i did it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ... and i'm still bitter about the cancelled reboot.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

taking yvor out of the equation: my fexi warm bodies zombie au sharing different heartbeats mostly i go back and read it and go "wait i wrote this?" because i don't do zombies at all lol. i'm just very proud of it.

tagging: @sarahcakes613 @muserepeats @calculated2stagger @iwantthemtostay and @idontneedtobeforgiven