#i use that pic nearly everywhere lmao

[tabieeee]

Curious - who's the bunny-looking person in your userpic? Are they your sona?

Oh! Nah, it's my D&D character Ferris I used to play, he's a cowman/firbolg. But I don't like him anymore. That image just seems like an ok profile pic, I wanted to change it for a lil while tbh

I draw myself as this gremlin imp looking thing:

(Plus a cameraman sona for skibidi cus why not ;p)

[hyunjining]

i come here to rant a little bit. people say he doesn't look as miserable as he was with olivia... which is fair. but those were Miserable™ times. he still doesn't look happy to me. he's never looked happy with stunts (i think he may have looked better with tswift but he was very young and wasn't as sick of it as his nearly 30yo self) i don't understand how people can't see how tired of it he is. they say it's because he's followed everywhere or papped but we all know if he wanted to he could just not walk around london lmao (or bike it seems) he can and has gone mia for long periods of time yet he can't find privacy with his new girl? please, people, use your brainsssss

and don't even get me started on those who idolize whoever he "dates" i saw comments on a tiktok of them two saying like "omg they look so cute" "she's so perfect" "he's so lucky" "omg she's everythinggggg" and it's like a grainy video taken from behind lol

yeah i haven’t been paying a lot of attention to it bc i don’t really care but it doesn’t seem much different from past stunts to me, especially h*livia

i feel like we should all know by now that fan sightings are not inherently more private than getting papped lol like what exactly is the difference when they’re being seen every day in public. since we’re in the era of deuxmoi, people absolutely eat up rumors and fan sightings even more than they used to. and the general public can see through pap pics now lmao so the strategy has changed.

anyway i guess people are excited that he’s finally not dating a white girl lol but like always it doesn’t really take much knowledge about the girl or how they act together for people to stan a relationship

[dxckgrxsonx]

HOLY SHIT JASON TODD DICK PIC STORYLINE PT. 2 PLEASE ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING, SOBBING, ETC.

Eat up my love!! I’m loving this little storyline and I’m so glad you want more. Only best friends send nudes to each other lmao.

**

You can’t even look at him.

It feels a lot like vertigo, feels like your whole world has been turned on its side. Upended, or maybe even rear ended to leave you spinning and desperately trying to correct the uncontrollable tailspin of your life.

Jason isn’t exactly small–not anymore anyway. He’s a brick wall at the best of times and when he puts on that helmet he swells to nearly untouchable. He’s carried you home drunk, he’s let you sit on his shoulders to reach the top shelf in the supermarket.

He’s big.

But after seeing that photo on your phone, you’ve been forced to realise that Jason Todd is big everywhere.

“I can’t even fucking look at you.” Hiding your face with one hand, you use the other to bring your custom made ‘worlds worst friend’ mug to your mouth. The coffee burns your tongue and Jason pauses in flipping the pancakes on your stove.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart. It was just a photo of my dick, it’s not like I dropped my pants in front of you.” Jason replies, pointing the spatula in his hands at your face. “It’s not my fault you can’t look me in the eye.”

“I’ve seen your penis!” You exclaim, eyes darting everywhere but his face. “It’s kind of difficult to look at you when I’ve seen something like that.”

Jason rolls his eyes and goes back to making breakfast, “It’s not that big of a deal you know.” His eyes suddenly light up, a smirk lifting his mouth at the corner and your stomach immediately flips on its side. “I mean, if you want to make it even, you could always show me one of those nudes you were on about?”

Something coy rubs up your spine and for the first time in three days you look him in the eye, “Wanting some new material for those quiet nights at home, huh?”

Jason swallows, the smallest flush of pink caressing his throat. You’re quickly no longer in the mood for pancakes and coffee and that photo flashes up behind your eyes like it’s ingrained across the inside of your skull.

“Jus’ want to make it even.” He finally gets out. “And I wouldn’t say no to having a pretty picture of you.”

“What? All the selfies I send you aren’t good enough?”

Resting his hip against the counter, Jason levels you with an unimpressed glare but you see the glimmer of laughter in his eyes, “The last selfie I have of you is the one you sent me whilst in the bath.”

Recognition flares awake and you snigger, “Oh, the one where I made a beard out of bubbles?”

“Yeah, and let me tell you, it’s still funny.”

Putting your mug down on the counter next to your thigh you pick up your phone, “Tasteful or slightly slutty?” You ask. The heated look Jason sends your way answers the question without words. “Slutty it is.”

It’s not the most scandalous photo you’ve taken of yourself, but it’s definitely not the most innocent either.

The photo shows you in front of your bedroom mirror, knees slightly bent and legs parted far enough to reveal the thin scrap of red lacy underwear barely covering anything. You’re bare from the waist up and use your phone to cover your face.

It’s a fairly simple pose but there's something about it that you know will drive your best friend insane.

Jason’s phone chimes when you send the photo and he wastes no time in picking it up to look at the screen. Waiting patiently for a reaction you study him intently, reading every slight shift in his weight.

“Are those what I think they are?” He finally asks and you notice straight away how strained his voice is.

“Mm-hmm, they were part of a set.” You confirm. “Who knew they did Red Hood lingerie, huh?”

Jason glances up, his pupils so dilated you can hardly find any colour there at all, and turns so his body is facing away from you.

“You’ve got a hard on, haven’t you?” You tease, ruthless.

“Shut up.” Jason chokes, unable to put his phone down. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

Your smirk comes easy, “It’s not that big of a deal you know.”

“If you say another word, I’m throwing your pancakes in the bin.

**

[amazingphilza]

twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

“on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

[spookyheaad]

Have some Death art!! (Trigger warning: blood)

Next chapter of the Tesoro Stella fic is actually nearing completion!!!! I’m finishing it up & then I’m gonna do some tweaking! Also @goldenshowman I got SO MUCH MORE TESORO IN SUSPENDERS CONTENT PLANNED. I’ve been cursed by laying eyes on Tesoro in his suspenders & now I only crave more.

I was thinking on the subject of fanfiction & got reminded of my old Darksiders fic called “Decay”, it’s basically a whole angst fest with Death & him dealing with the traumas of his past & then -

-Y’know-

-Casually gets punished & tortured by the Charred Council for going off somewhere without orders. So they take away his near invulnerability & coerce War into beating him within inches of his life.

I made the fic in high school so there’s mistakes everywhere in it lmao. If anyone fancies a read, go for it:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216774/chapters/61121785

But I have some old art of Death just, being brutalized, because I used to vent a lot through Death. That honor now goes to Tesoro tho; decided to give Death a break 😂

This is going to be very controversial but - ok - Death bleeds. He bleeds I swear; they gave him the blood effect when he gets hit in Darksiders 2, so I’ll take it as canon. Just because he’s nearly invincible & looks like a corpse don’t mean he can’t bleed.

Anyway, I have a ton of old doodles like this where I pictured Death either suffering as he did during the Nephilim Genocide, or the guilt just eating away at him.

It was such a small thing but that scene in Darksiders 2 where we see Death’s silhouette on Eden as he is killing his brethren, the amulet collecting their souls around his neck, and we see him with arrows in his back. I don’t know why but that just stuck with me.

This image:

There’s no doubt so much pain and conflict in his mind at that point in time.

[[Off topic, but for some context for my mutuals who don’t follow Darksiders, Death doesn’t have a canon face design so all of us just make up our own. We thirst.]]

Pretty sure I don’t even have this file anymore; I actually swiped it from my Instagram. I had an excerpt from the “Decay” fanfiction underneath it that I still really like. Even tho that fic is so old, it had its moments (TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF BLOOD AND GORE):

War spoke in a grave tone. “I know my limits, and I would never kill you, but I will use the pain I bring to teach you a lesson in humility.”

War bent over and hoisted Death up by his neck. His boots dangled above the ground, and he writhed in pain beneath his youngest sibling’s strong hold. His weak hands found their grip on War’s arm, as Death tried to catch air in his throat.

He raised Chaoseater, “It’s a most valuable lesson, so remember well.”

War thrust his weapon through Death’s abdomen; he shrieked violently, his muscles tensed up and he grit his teeth as fresh blood seeped out of his mouth. Death continued to scream until he could no longer. He felt his bones rest upon the portion of the massive sword that was left inside his mortal wound, between slabs of flesh and injured organs. War had let go of his throat and let the blade keep him hoisted in the air for a few moments. He watched his brother cry out upon the blade; it unsettled him to see the most feared of The Four, become the weakest in this moment.

He lowered Chaoseater so Death’s legs could now support his body as best they could, then, gripping the hilt of the blade, War pulled back swiftly. Chaoseater freed itself from the Pale Rider’s abdomen with the sickening sound of tearing flesh.

Death’s existence has never really been a happy one.

I think to end off this mini art dump, here’s another picture I swiped from my Instagram of Death & Zemira sharing some kisses ☺️

The caption I had for this pic still tugs at my heart:

“I never felt true warmth, until her.”

[excitedlysuffering]

OMGOMGOMG possibly Kakashi head-cannon collection? He is the love of my life (lmao don’t tell my bf that)

Your secrets safe with me he’s my love too😂

Kakashi Headcanons Collection

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• A reader, they don’t have to read Icha Icha (bonus points if you did) but someone who appreciates a good book

• Someone laid back and not very high maintenance

• I see him wanting a shinobi S/O cause he needs them to be to take care of themselves or he’ll worry too much

• he’ll worry anyways

• Someone who understands his pain and won’t shy away from him when he’s going through a rough patch

• Someone who is good with words, like say something sweet and he’s metlinggg

• A person with considerate personality traits

• He would like an S/O who’s willing to try new things and adventures

• Someone who would take things slowly

• Someone who could honestly make him laugh

• He’s DadKashi he’s going to want someone good with kids

• To be frank, he would probably want a relatively stable S/O so that in his mind there’s no chance of them ending up like his father

• He wants companionship so someone who’s not distant and who wouldn’t mind him being around all the time

• I really can’t see him with a tsundere S/O, he needs to see that his partner loves him as much as he loves them

Relationship With Kashi Stuff~

• Please do domestic stuff (Sending him off to work with a kiss, a note in his lunchbox, kissing him when he gets home) he will be near tears every time

• TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK™ (whether it’s kicking butt, making dinner, or teaching (raising) Team 7)

• You probably won’t notice moving in with each other until you look up like ‘holy crap I haven’t been to my apartment in like 2 weeks?’

• Read with him or read to him, and you will have his HEART

• He’s not clingy per se, but he loves to be in your presence whenever he can

• Will take you out on dates once a week EVERY WEEK (Sorry Tsunade-sama, I have a date then, but I’ll leave right after?)

• Dating Kakashi means you’re now honorary rivals with Gai (who knows Kashi better, who can make him laugh most etc.)

• Pick up line wars 24/7, the loser has to do the other’s chores Kakashi wins

• Okay, but Kakashi never had a childhood, so make a list of everything he never got to do and you slowly complete them together

• He’s such a sweetheart like, surprise, he’s so sensitive

• Get’s so flustered seeing you in his clothes, he temporarily shuts down

• He’s given up trying to take back his mask whenever you’re wearing it

• Okay, we all know this silver-haired hottie is suave, but he is SMOOTH, he will 100% find ways to have you blush whenever possible, he is the CEO of leaving you hot and bothered

• Made you your own area in the Hokage office as a hint that he needed your company

• Has never forgotten an important date (he uses his Sharingan on the calendar)

• He’s fought demons and other crazy villains, but will still be terrified of you on your period (he’s brave tho he’ll just bring a lot of peace offerings)

• He heard you refer to him as DadKashi in front of Team 7 and/or your friends and just about loses his mind

• When you first see his face without his mask you’re probably pissed cuz WHY would he hide that beauty from the world?! it’s for the greater good hun

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Being insensitive/ignorant about things like loss or mental illness

• Constantly distracting him from his duties or hobbies

• Being rude or uncompassionate

• Being willing to abandon people or being self-centered you SCUM

• He always makes time for you, so he’d be a bit bothered if they didn’t put forth any effort to spend time with him

• Little pranks are harmless, but things that make him scared for your wellbeing or stealing his mask are big fat NO

• Being reckless just because, being a shinobi is already dangerous with would you play with death like that??

• Being lazy, Kakashi at his core is really something of a go-go-go person, he doesn’t want to just do anything all the time

Soft Kakashi Things~

• Kakashi is such a softie omg

• He likes to fall asleep last just so he can tell you how much he loves you and you saved him while you’re asleep

• If you’re having a bad day, he’ll drop everything (if possible) to hold you and be there for you in every way you need

• Definitely has Sai draw a small pic of you so he can carry it around and/or put in the Hokage office

• Mission dates are a thing like imagine flirting with Kakashi while destroying your opponents (so romantic)

• He’s big on practical gifts. If he notices you’re running low on shuriken? Expect a box of them from him

• He’ll read a particular *wild* Icha Icha quote to you just to make you flustered (bonus points for him if you’re in public)

• His students question you all the time like how did you end up with their lonely, pervy sensei?

• Will sweep you off your feet for no reason other than he likes to hold you and carry you

Random Kashi Facts~

• Kakashi’s love language is words of affirmation like he craves hearing that you love him and the like

• He hums and sings around the house or whenever he’s bored or preoccupied

• After having eating fish out of necessity day after day he prefers not eating it if possible

• He will often fall asleep a good while after he actually lays down because he enjoys debriefing himself of everything that happened during the day

• Actually sleeps really deep when he’s next to you, otherwise, the smallest sound can wake him up

• He likes to put notes or letters from you in his Icha Icha books so he can read them whenever and no one will peak cuz ew, Icha Icha

• In all honesty, Gai is a common factor in why he’s so late everywhere, but it’s mostly him walking around and taking in the sights like a nostalgic old man

• In the episode where Sakura and Naruto transformed into kids and called Kashi and old man, giving him an identity crisis is actually common. His hair color and the fact that you can’t see his face make some kids think he’s old

• Sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll find a random tree and fall asleep in it (he’s a strange one)

• He lost his newest Icha Icha book when he was Hokage and very nearly (thanks to Shikamaru) called a citywide search party

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your temple, it feels really intimate to him and he’s so tall it’s an easy place for him

• Way to hug- Kakashi loves those giant bear hugs where he just envelopes you like you’re basically one with him now

•’Thing to do with you- He really loves reading with you, whether it’s the same book, or you’re just both sitting next to each other reading

• Type of date- Although your most common date is a mission date (lol), his favorite is being able to take you to a nice restaurant and then on a walk around the city

This or That:

• He’s a winter person actually, he loves being cuddled up with you and blankets, and the abundance of hot drinks

• He’s a morning person because he’s been waking up early since he was a child, and doesn’t really know how to enjoy sleeping anymore (but if that wasn’t the case he’d be a night owl)

• Loves both cooking for you and being cooked for he puts Bobby Flay to shame honestly

• He spends all his time reading obviously and if his S/O is a writer or he’ll be soooo excited and will read everything they put out

Conflict Happenings~

• He knows disagreements are a normal part of relationships (in moderation of course) so if there was a real problem, he wouldn’t shy away from it

• He won’t raise his voice or take a tone with you, he doesn’t feel the need to, but he will definitely get his point across

• To his fault, he might throw in a slight or cutting remark here and there but he will regret it the second your expression changes

• He’s a real go with the flow kind of guy so if he realizes that something is his fault, he will correct it ASAP

• If he notices you’re getting really worked up, he’ll just hug you until you calm down and can speak coherently but at that point it’s like ‘what was I mad about??’

• If his S/O is headstrong it’ll probably bring that side out in him, even if temporarily

• If it’s a minor disagreement he’ll probably say something funny to diffuse the situation

• He would rather die than argue in public, to him it’s a private thing and he hates causing a scene

Modern Kashi~

• I can see him as more of a club/extracurricular activities leader than a teacher

• He’s really close to those kids in his group and probably sheds a few proud DadKashi tears at their graduation

• That one fine teacher that all the students are thirsting over

• If not a teacher he’d probably be an elite CIA agent or a higher ranking FBI officer

• He has so many dogs like he sees a stray and how could he possibly give them up??

• He’d probably walk around Playboy Magazines just cause he can

• At one point he dyed his hair black cause he thought it’d look more ‘normal’ but he HATED it

• He likes plants but he’s so bad at taking care of them?? He can remember all of his dogs’ names and their food preferences but can’t remember to water a plant

• His house is so clean he’s been doing all his household chores since he was a child

• He definitely met Gai in elementary school and they never parted, even going on to become college roommates never again

• Gai probably barges in Kakashi’s classroom so often he’s most likely considered the co-leader/teacher

• Kakashi has definitely gotten drunk on school nights before but he’s such an in-control drunk no one ever noticed

• Kakashi was my first Naruto love and my first husband. BACK OFF

Masterlist

[fizzingwizard]

So I’m sure you’re ALL on tenterhooks to find out what I thought of episode 36... the answer is.... LOVED IT!!!! No I really did. If you like Taishiro friendship, this is an essential episode to watch. Doesn’t blow me out of the water, but still just good.

Although Taichi has a big something to do as usual, it’s still very much a Koushirou episode. FREAKING YAY. I have a dozen thoughts about it, and what bugs me the most, of course, is how we needed this episode AGES ago ugh. But we’ve now had two or three episodes in a row that have actually felt like Digimon Adventure, so perhaps all that finger-crossing is working?

They could unravel all that good work in a minute by never addressing it again... or not letting Koushirou show his personality unless it’s his “turn” for an episode from here on... but you know, I will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Pic of the day:

“I don’t like people. But they are occasionally useful.” - 2020 Izumi Koushirou’s life lesson, lmao

*The red strip at the top is about the big earthquake that hit Eastern Japan yesterday. It’s annoying to have it there for the entire episode - usually they only stick around for a couple minutes - but this WAS a large earthquake. It caused many people to lose power. So making sure everyone knows what’s going takes precedence over Sunday morning cartoons. (I’m in Osaka and didn’t even feel it, but my friends in Tokyo prefecture very much did.)

Lots and LOTS of ranting from a rabid Taishiro fan under the cut!

(also I didn’t check for typos so. yeah)

The episode starts right off by assuring us this is a Koushirou episode. We get the trademark Izumi Koushirou floating in the void of space sequence, which is excellent and very encouraging framing.

Koushirou Kenobi: “Use the force, Taichi.”

Taichi: “Use it yourself.”

(the episode in a nutshell)

The initial thing that bugged me - okay, so the kids got separated for the umpteenth time many episodes ago, and since then we’ve stuck to Taichi like barnacles. The only glimpses we’d get of the other kids showed: Yamato running towards something, Koushirou flying towards something while researching the satellite malfunction, Jou in the hot springs, and Mimi at the crystal caves. For Jou and Mimi, I don’t care, because they never tried to move, but Yamato and Koushirou were constantly moving. Yet, in the end, it’s Taichi’s group that catches up with Koushirou, rather than the other way around. It DOES make sense - it seems like Koushirou told them to “meet at the giant gold pillar” because that’s where they needed to be to save the world, so it became the rendezvous point. But it just bugs me because, once again, all the activity is on Taichi’s side. But that’s a minor quibble. The end result is still THIS:

More of the team is together!!! Taichi and Koushirou are together!!! Yaaayy!!!

... the betting pool for how long it will be till the next separation is now open >.>

Poor Komodomon’s long mop dog fur is so dirty. “Fizz his fur always looks like that.” He’s tracking mud everywhere. “Fizz look at his ears his fur is supposed to look that way.” Next episode - everyone gives Komondomon a bath.

So the start of this episode is just a bunch of talking about how dire things are with the satellite situation. I’m not gonna bother translating. Watch the sub when it’s out if you really want to know :P The important thing is, the gold pillar is directly causing the malfunction, no one on Earth can stop the satellite from plummeting to Tokyo, the city is being evacuated, and there are only 20 minutes till impact.

Koushirou has an elaborate plan which Sora adorably sums up as “So, we’re gonna shoot it out of the sky *makes punching motion*”

The crux of Koushirou’s plan hinges on a repeat of how Omegamon saved Tokyo from the missile way back in like, episode 2 or 3. Taichi says, “Yeah, but I barely remember how we did that.” Which is hilarious because I don’t remember either because it was 30 EPISODES AGO. Once again this episode feels like it was meant to happen WAY EARLIER THAN IT DID. It’s just weird to be referencing something that happened 30 episodes ago after everything else that’s happened, AND on top of that, there are many references in this episode and none from later than like, episode 10 or 12. Making this all seem very oddly timed.

I’m not quite sure if, within the story itself, it matters that Taichi “doesn’t remember well.” He also doesn’t remember the Devimon battle where he and Agumon were infected with dark energy. That one makes sense for him not to remember. If that hadn’t happened, I would just take his “I don’t remember how we stopped the missile” to just mean it was so long ago. But together, it’s making me wonder if something else is going on.

Or maybe Taichi’s just been hit on the head one too many times (okay, that seems the most likely of all, haha)

People of Tokyo: Is it Godzilla again? I heard he’s itching to fight King Kong. You know, given how often our city is attacked by kaiju, some might wonder why we haven’t moved away by now. But home is home, ya know?

The group sets up to fly to the peak of the gold pillar. Obviously, without Yamato, there’s no Omegamon. No one points this out, but Koushirou seems very stressed with his plan, and it seems that he contacted Taichi in the first place because he thought “Taichi’s the one who can pull this off.”

After hearing the plan, Taichi shoots him through the heart with another “Koushirou, you’re so awesome!” and YAY I MISSED THIS SO MUCH!!!!!! *sobs*

Then he does his best to reassure Koushirou by remaining positive and determined that they can and will do this no matter how much Koushirou waves. The majority of the episode is them flying up the pillar while being assaulted by enemies trying to stop them, so it’s not like they get to talk about their feelings (lol). But at least we get a bunch of close ups of Koushirou’s and Taichi’s expressions, and that’s how we see this dynamic in play. Yes, Koushirou is the brainy one who made the plan, but he doesn’t have the confidence to take the lead, so he handed the reins to Taichi. As for Taichi - yes he has the confidence, yes he can do it... but he also has absolute faith in Koushirou. So that’s why this episode makes my little Koushirou fanatic heart skip a beat.

First of the enemies is this guy, aptly named BladeKuwagamon.

They’re actually pretty scary! They do real damage. (Blood in Digimon word is glowy unicorn-like stuff haha). Birdramon gets stabbed, but before Sora can get too upset, she just yanks the blade out of her chest...

... and then crushes it into dust with her beak.

Sora: Holy crap, my partner is metal AF.

Forgot to mention earlier but 5 whole minutes of the 20 minute countdown are used up just by digivolving apparently xD Taichi keeps asking Koushirou “how much time is left” and Koushirou’s panic grows more visible with each passing second...

MetaLiffeKuwagemon looks cooler than he is. Supposedly he’s there to bring out the big guns, but to be honest...

... the BladeKuwagamon don’t seem to need the help :P The enemy’s strategy is obvious: isolate each member of the team to prevent anyone from getting to the top. This is why Koushirou’s so stressed: he’s got a plan that is totally reliant on there being a leader strong enough to pull it off AND there being enough backup to protect that leader from the large number of enemies. And Koushirou doesn’t like these odds.

Garudamon gets stabbed AGAIN

Sora: Go on, we’ll be fine.

Taichi: Are you sure??

Garudamon: *DESTROYS EVERYTHING WITH FIRE*

I MEAN HONESTLY! Garudamon is not only my favorite of Piyomon’s evolutions, it’s pretty much my favorite Adventure evolution. Always has been since I was 11 years old. And she (and Sora) NEVER get that credit. Like. Growing up, with US dub Adventure, I interpreted Sora as more of a straight up tomboy than she is in the original. That’s okay, that’s whatever, but what was most important to me was that I saw her as the third “strong” member along with Taichi and Yamato. Those two were clearly in a class above her, but I saw her as being in the same “Taiorato” league. Garudamon seemed to prove that: she was so cool, so powerful, and... yeah, I just always thought she had so much potential to be awesome and never got why it wasn’t used. That’s also why I was disappointed in Tri - like, I liked Soushitsu, but I just wanted more from Sora’s arc. Same thing in Kizuna: I understand Sora’s arc, I don’t hate it or anything - I think it makes sense for her. But since I wanted something different for her all those years ago, it just left me feeling a bit flat.

but enough about other Digimon series :P Garudamon gets to be super cool here and I only hope we get to see more of it in this reboot. I’ll forgive it some of its other mistakes if we do :D

With Takeru/Hikari and Sora isolated by the BladeKuwagamon, it’s up to Taichi and Koushirou alone to race against the clock! Their teeth are clenched, sweat runs in rivulets down their skin, their hearts are pounding in desperation...

Koushirou: Taichi-san! If we don’t get to the top soon it’ll be too late!

Taichi: Just don’t call me late for dinner!

Koushirou: ASDFGHJKL;’ DAD JOKES NOW?? REALLY????????

MetaLiffeKuwagamon makes life that much harder by knocking them against the pillar. However, this is a pillar of data, which enabled the BladeKuwagamon to evolve into MetaLiffeKuwagamon in the first place. Bugs aren’t that bright.

Taichi and MetalGreymon are nearly submerged inside the pillar as a result, and then we get this sequence of red and black. The pillar had been emitting dark lightning, so I started to think... omg... is MetalGreymon gonna get a Dark Evolution???????

.... Nah. That would have made sense, but.... nah :P

Overall I’m glad though, because that would really have turned this into a Taichi episode instead of a Koushirou one.

I’m not personally certain what the point of bringing BlitzGreymon out was. I had figured he would be like, a super fast evolution that would enable them to make it to the top. That would also have turned this into a Taichi episode. But...

... Taichi tells Koushirou that he will have to go divert the satellite because Taichi has to deal with MetaLiffeKuwagamon.

I was both really pleased and really surprised. Because, again, now what’s the point of BlitzGreymon...? Why did we need a new Agumon evolution? There’s no particular reason why they couldn’t have just isolated Taichi with the enemy the same way the others were and had him tell Koushirou to keep going on his own then. They did do that, but first they gave him a new evolution. Why? Just because it’s cool?? I assume that must be the reason but we don’t even see BlitzGreymon fight xD It’s... it’s weird. But whatever.

Taichi: Go, Koushirou!!!!! You can do it!!!!!

Fiz: *dies a thousand brilliant deaths*

So, Koushirou tells Taichi that he can’t do it - he can support Taichi, but he can’t take the lead. Taichi’s just like that’s wack, dude, of course you can do it. What I LOVE about Taichi and Koushirou’s dynamic is just that: Taichi never sees Koushirou as a weakling. The fact that he’s small, or that he’s brains over brawn, or even that he’s kinda antisocial - those are all reasons an energetic, extroverted kid like Taichi might bully, or at least think poorly, of Koushirou.

But Taichi values Koushirou. He knows how hard he works and is impressed both by that hard work and his talent. What’s more, he doesn’t see Koushirou’s brains as his support system. The whole time Koushirou’s thinking he’s there to support Taichi with his plan, Taichi was thinking, “I’m here to support Koushirou’s plan.” That is SO, SO important. And that’s why I LOVE this episode. The one thing the reboot seemed to really understand, that hooked me from the start, was the way it just GOT Taichi and Koushirou. They each support and follow each other, while each feeling like the other is better than them. Ugh I could like, cry over Taishiro now... omg....

Taichi is successful in pushing Koushirou to go on, but of course Koushirou himself is still plagued with doubts. He reflects on how he’s always been fine being alone. He hasn’t particularly wanted friends and didn’t mind not having them, even though adults worried.

(Side note: this is a normal, if kinda rare, personality trait. I have it too. I always score Koushirou on “what Digimon character are you?” tests too lmao. Just like some people feel the need to be surrounded by others at all times, there are those whose social needs are very very low. I’m one of them. There’s nothing wrong with it except that even those people can get lonely and it’s easy to misunderstand them as shy or snobby. So what I love about Koushirou is, yes he learns to value his relationships more, but also learns to value himself. He is Koushirou: a brainy kid who’s happy on his own, but also happy with friends. While some people, like Mimi, struggle with that aspect of his personality, others, like Taichi, just accept it. To me that’s the best life lesson there is: there are always people who can and will be friends with you. Yes, I’ve lost friends because I just wasn’t social enough for them. But I have other friends who I’ve known for literal decades now. And I REALLY love those friends.)

Koushirou feels grateful that he has AlturKabuterimon, and also that he has Taichi. So... here he is, reflecting on the last time he had meaningful interaction with that great friend Taichi... back in episode three. -____________-

Seriously, this would mean a lot more if this dynamic had been built on continually until this episode...

Koushirou then briefly reflects on each of the other Chosen. Notably, every single solo image of them is from an episode that Koushirou either wasn’t in or wasn’t with them at the moment. Then we get this group image. It’s from EPISODE 12. (I’m actually not sure of the episode number but the point is, it’s from A LONG LONG TIME AGO. I think it’s the swamp episode??) That drives me NUTS. We shouldn’t have to reach soooo far back to find meaningful moments!!! Urk.

Koushirou makes it to the peak of the pillar and AlturKabuterimon attacks the satellite to drive it off course. We see the impression of what looks to be HerculesKabuterimon and I really thought we’d get an evolution - it seemed way more appropriate than freaking BlitzGreymon - but nope.

Oh well. Koushirou still saves the day. The people at home get to see the Crest of Knowledge take over their screens, hopefully giving rise to the idea that a nerd superhero is protecting them. Koushirou is the hero we deserve.

The satellite falls into the water. I was like, shouldn’t that cause a tsunami lol?

... be careful what you wish for >_>;

fortunately people were evacuated soooo things will be okay.

He did it!! He’s so happy! AlturKabuterimon’s triumphant holler is adorable.

Taichi and BlitzGreymon fought hard OFF SCREEN!! OFF SCREEN!! HIP HIP HOORAY! And then we get to see him leaning on Sora T_T could this episode give me any more perfect moments?? Looooove it

So yeah, if you can’t tell, I’m thrilled with this episode. There are just a couple things I would have liked to improve: better animation, at least one palpable heart to heart between Taichi and Koushirou, or just a bit more time spent explictly in Koushirou’s head - but honestly we got something that is pretty darn good, especially for this reboot. I hope we do get more like this, both for Koushirou and for the others. I hope the growth here isn’t forgotten moving forward. I really, REALLY want to see more of that “I lead, you support me - you lead, I support you” mutually beneficial relationship that is the foundation of Taishiro <3

So next week! Mimi’s back and the heads are gonna roll!

Lmao!

My theory that she’s finding crystals to make Crests seems unlikely to be the case now that we know the rocks constract the rock Digimon. But... hey, we’ll find out next week.

Also Taichi’s gonna make this face after talking with Mimi bahahahaha. I can’t wait.

[home-is-where-beels-tiddies-are]

i lost the post i had that gave all of caragan’s info, so i’ll just post it again here. first pic is caragan after they die, because only obey me could drive me to design a character post-death 

i did design the sigils myself. then i added the sin marks from the cards, put that little pact symbol on it, and i took the original symbols from the actual demons and simplified/altered them. because i didn’t think it was a good idea to use the actual symbols. don’t wanna manifest something ya know lmao 

very long info dump under the cut. (info dump is copied from the post i lost) and yeah, caragan is a generic super powerful protagonist. so prepare for cheese 

likes: drawing, reading, gaming, and staying at home. they are drawn to dark things; horror, dark colours, literally most things dark.

home/family: they live alone, but near their parents, and they visit almost daily. they have a cat and three snakes (while caragan is away, the fur and scale babies are taken care of, don’t worry) 

age: 27 yrs old, born Jan 7th 

gender: nonbinary, they/them 

height: 4′10 / 147 cm

occupation: part time job, they also make bits and bobs to sell; art, crochet, etc. they went back to college too (and how they signed up for a certain exchange program; in my headcanon, they signed up for it and expected something mundane) then, after their first visit to the devildom, they start learning about the peace that diavolo proposed in their own time, and volunteer for the human organizations involved 

the design after they die: neither angel or demon, appearance shows physical attributes of both. (i also have a lot of post-death info, but… this is already so much, so i will leave it out) the ref i made is below: (worth noting that before their “fall,” using the term very, very loosely, everything on them that is red was white)

appearence: 

they wear all black with small, brightly coloured accessories 

brightly coloured accessories are normally bracelets, scarves, or pins. socks are also always nauseatingly bright 

casual outside attire: black hoodie, black t shirts, black ripped jeans, and converse 

casual around the house attire: grey sweatpants, obnoxious socks, a tank top, and sometimes a sweater or jacket they’ve stolen from the brothers 

formal attire: usually a suit, but asmo can convince them to wear a dress by finding amazing ones and wearing a dress too 

school uniform: jacket sleeves rolled up, or while in classrooms, off completely. no tie, ever. dress pants, wears black flats instead of dress shoes. during their first year, they kept their hair in a ponytail in class 

always wearing their favourite necklace 

first year piercings:

left ear - bar piercing in top, three normal piercings on bottom

right ear - three normal piercings on bottom 

second visit piercings:

left ear - same

right ear - three normal piercings on bottom, and two new normal piercings on top 

they wear binders to their classes and almost always when they go out for less active shenanigans 

rarely wears a binder in the house of lamentation; the first thing they take off when they get home 

hair is greying on both sides of their head, also some greys on top

always, always has dark circles and bags under their eyes 

brothers + romance: they are absolutely smitten with all of them, and they are very blunt and obvious about it. their favourite, though, is beel. this is kept as plainly obvious as their feelings for the others. since they love all of the brothers, they don’t hide their attraction to anyone. for the most part, it works out. 

pact mark locations:  (see first ref pic) 

lucifer - throat 

mammon - upper back 

leviathan - lower back 

satan - left inner thigh 

asmo - right inner thigh 

beel - right inner wrist 

belphie - left inner wrist 

overall, they’re very shy and awkward, and they like to joke around to cover it up. generally quiet, even around those they’re comfortable with. (they don’t talk a lot unless they’re having a ‘moment’ - a day where they’re hyperactive) they have crippling anxiety and depression, but the medication they take eases it. gets irritable around loud noises/people. they make an attempt in having a decent sleep schedule, but most nights they’re awake for hours longer than they intend to be. sleep schedule is more erratic when in the devildom. (probably belphie’s fault.) 

everything below is uh… like, how they act/react to the other characters.  

lucifer:  they mirror what lucifer offers them; if he’s being soft, they will be soft in turn. if he is upset with them, they will apologize and attempt to do better, and they expect the same if the roles are reversed. stuff like that. they don’t openly flirt with lucifer the same way they do some others, instead they focus on gentle interactions. they kept close to lucifer when they first arrived in the devildom (when mammon ditched them) because they deemed him more trustworthy than anyone else. 

mammon:  when with mammon, every filter caragan has is demolished instantly. given mammon never tried to kill or charm them, they grew to respect him very quickly. they also don’t treat mammon like an idiot; they’ve dealt with that themselves enough. yes, they tell him off for doing things that will very clearly come back to bite him in the ass, but they never target his intelligence because they know he’s smarter than he lets on. they openly flirt with mammon because they like to make him blush. they both get into trouble often, but they have each others’ backs throughout. 

leviathan:  they don’t spend as much time with leviathan, but they do enjoy his company. they usually lock away their info dumping and interests, but not with leviathan. he gets to gush about the things he loves, and they match his energy. he tries to offer the same courtesy. they also like to flirt with leviathan to make him blush, but they don’t do it as heavily or as often because his rejections/self deprecating comments make them feel bad. they are also thankful that they can talk to him about their anxiety and he understands it. they rarely call him “levi.” 

satan:  they also don’t spend as much time with satan, but less so than leviathan. they can’t help but feel stupid when they’re with him, so they don’t socialize with him often. buuut any time he offers to socialize, they don’t turn him down. in fact, caragan gets excited. he’s also where they turn to when they’re struggling with their studies or curious about something demon related. they do attempt to joke around and flirt with him, but it’s like a game of chicken, and caragan always ducks out. fairly quickly, too. 

asmodeus:  caragan adores asmo, but they can’t really place why. they also consider him as much a work of art as he does himself. they are very soft with asmo and they rarely flirt with him in a conventional way. even though they reject most sexual advances, they are as handsy as asmo is. asmo is their official cuddle buddy and they love to shower him in gentle affection. if asmo is in sight, they can often be caught staring. at first, they’re very embarrassed by this, and the brothers poke fun. eventually, though, they’re utterly shameless and just widen their smile if asmo catches them. 

beelzebub:  they love beel more than life itself, and that is absolutely not an exaggeration. at first, they were very avoidant and anxious when it came to beel, but when they started to hang out with him, they found him very easy to be around. the attraction started then, but then became way too strong when beel went into full demon mode over his custard. (mood) they started following him around everywhere. they continued that trend well into the year and the following visit. they’re very affectionate and clingy, sitting his lap and hugging him constantly. they carry around as many snacks as their pockets can hold for beel and beel only. 

belphegor:  they knew from the start that belphie was lying to them in the attic and probably meant them harm, but they never held it against him. they never really held their death against him either. they’re quiet around belphie for the most part, even when they started to like him. they often nap with him (against their better judgement) too. the two of them talk a lot about their ideal “me and you and beel” future. more than is healthy. their conversations outside of that are often filled with snark and a weird tension that caragan doesn’t understand. it usually melts away after a cuddle and a nap, though. 

diavolo:  they instantly liked diavolo. they’re very cautious and anxious around him, but they try to be warm in their interactions with him. they do call him “lord diavolo,” and treat him with due respect. he usually throws them for a loop with most things he does, but they try to keep up and be understanding. they have a strong need to get closer to him, for reasons that they don’t understand or even try to understand. they don’t do much about it either. his demon form causes them to become flustered. very flustered. the not-oblivious brothers tease them for it. they have such a huge crush on him. 

barbatos:  they don’t interact with him that much, or try to interact with him outside of things that are necessary. they have nothing against him, they just don’t feel the need to. they’re very polite to him, as polite as they are to diavolo. while they’re curious about him, they don’t go out of their way to interact with him. there’s really not much there besides mild curiosity. 

solomon:  they think he gives off a copious amount of mischievous vibes and it puts them off. at first. they are kind and polite towards him, and they would consider him a friend. the friendship is essentially that “we have no friends in this class so we will become friends to fill the void. but only in this class. we will never speak to each other outside of this place.” it’s not nearly as specific, but that’s the flavour of friendship they have in the beginning. eventually, he grows on caragan and they end up looking forward to seeing him. they just find him very fun. 

simeon:  they think simeon is beautiful and has been caught staring almost as much as when they stare at asmo. with simeon though, they will never be shameless about their staring. they continue to be embarrassed about it forever. forever. they’re polite and kind to simeon, but they feel he keeps himself closed off from them. during their second visit to the devildom, with the play and all, they become a little scared of simeon. it doesn’t change the way they interact with him, but it does put them off for a bit. and after some overthinking, they end up being more drawn to him. 

luke:  they were very anxious around luke, at first. they don’t like kids, and generally become twice as awkward around them. eventually, they found him adorable. when they speak to him, they will focus on child logic, but they do speak to him the way they would speak to anyone. never patronising. happily helps him with studies if they can, gives him affirmation and reassurances whenever needed, and is protective. they have even been known to stand up to lesser demons when they target luke. (when simeon isn’t around; it’s rare) even though caragan is scared shitless the whole time, they try anyway. seeing as they’re only 4′10, they never make short jokes or anything of the like. when the brothers make short jokes, they shoot disapproving looks and will express disappointment if it drags on too long. 

the end of their life time:  they go on to live for a while, dedicating themselves entirely to diavolo on the human side of things, even becoming a public speaker for it. sharing their experiences n all that. which is something they’d never do for anything else. 

at a certain point though, about 50 yrs old or so, they do stop visiting the demon brothers because they’re getting old. they die shortly after in an accident. brothers don’t find out because caragan was already avoiding them. (though, there is general unease because of the bonds they have with caragan. they know something’s very, very wrong but not what. they fear the worst, and they’re right to.) 

but for all the things they did for “the cause,” they were to be judged in the celestial realm. (and… i see it as… in a horrible, horrible way, the big guy upstairs knew everything that would happen with lilith, and deemed her and her brothers an acceptable loss in exchange for peace. it was all orchestrated. i also think that diavolo knew the plan, for the most part. he has his own reasons for wanting the peace, but he does know what the plan was.) 

but they’re escorted to The Big Guy by simeon and luke (a cute reunion with hugs) and he straight up asks caragan what they want. like they can stay here, go to the devildom, or remain in the human realm. 

in any case, they’ll be given all the attributes needed to thrive in all three realms, but only if they continue in their trying to maintain peace. obviously, caragan is all for continuing. and of course, they choose to make their home with the brothers. god’s all like, “you will retain your angelic status, but you do have to fall to achieve the status of demon. are you sure?” they have to have demon attributes to ensure survival and comfort living among demons, so that’s why. 

and caragan straight up says, without missing a beat, “even heaven is hell without them.” everybody knows who they’re talking about. simeon is torn between “that’s so rude” and “that’s so sweet” and luke is horrified. god just laughs. 

they all talk a bit longer so caragan knows exactly what they’re getting into. they will have a lot of power as both angel and demon, but they have to keep their humanity in exchange for that power. which means, inevitably, their long life will become a curse. no human is built to live for a millennia, so it’ll take a toll on their mind and at the end of it all, they won’t be themselves anymore. 

caragan basically says, “yah, worth it. lezgo.” god hands them paperwork, some explaining what caragan is and why, as well as a peace treaty thing to give to diavolo when they get home. i was thinking it’d be something cheesy like “the treaty of the last fallen angel.” no more fallen angels after caragan, they fell so no one else has to again. idk, symbolism or something. but even the future angel/demon hybrids won’t have to fall. 

cue caragan yeeting themselves from the celestial realm. 

diavolo knows caragan’s about to fall (barbatos n all that) and gathers the brothers to the place it’ll be. caragan is just a ball of blue flames, then a crater, the brothers are baffled. 

falling hurts a shit ton (even without losing wings and all that), so caragan ends up crying, but they cry blood. (for angel reasons. i dunno why i think angels cry blood.) which drips from their face and onto the white fabric of the thing they’re wearing, and then everything white fades into a red, even the white of their eyes. (i want to try very roughly animating that one day.) 

then there’s another heart warming reunion, but also with a shit ton of heart break because not only did caragan die, they also just fell. the brothers are angy.

before the brothers can get all “let’s fight god,” caragan hands diavolo the paperwork, all of which he reads out loud for the brothers. 

uh. roll credits. 

just tidbits:

caragan is an angel of perseverance and a demon of despair. 

they have six wings and six eyes on each wing. 

their halo was a tangible ring of golden light, but when they fell, it became horns. but like… still in a ring shape. still a halo. just different. 

they are barefoot in their angel/demon form because they have talons and also just… hate shoes. 

when all the white turned red, all the gold turned silver. 

they look as they did during their second visit to the devildom when they enter their “afterlife.”  

their human form is also just… them. hoodie, ripped jeans, everything, they’re just themselves. 

[regenerated-reedjumper]

how i recolor items

because a discord friend asked me and this is easier than putting it in discord lmao 

step 1: download whatever you want to recolor. resize it using waifu2x or something comparable. i go about 4x the size i want but you can go bigger. probably don’t go any smaller though, it’s difficult to choose the colors. 

step 2: open the image with firealpaca and make any base edits to it. (i had to erase some bits that the waifu2x clone i used this time inserted, but now is the time to remove any background bits you don’t want. 

step 3: make a new layer above the base image layer. choose a contrasting color (here I used cobalt) and fill in everywhere that you’re planning on recoloring! here are my before and after pics for this step, planning to recolor this lawn flamingo: 

(note: lowered the opacity a bit so you can see the flamingo underneath. i turned it back up for the next step.) 

step 4: use the Filter: Hue to turn the brightness all the way down, turning the area you just filled in in the new layer black. Then use the Layer: Convert to convert it to 8bit. Use it again to convert it to a stencil layer. 

What you have should look like this. 

step 5: Copy the base layer! (NOT the stencil layer.) Make sure that you’re on the copy directly under the stencil layer, then open Filter: Hue and mess with the settings there until you get the desired effect. 

here, I’ve made a white lawn flamingo! not nearly as enchantingly tacky. 

step 6: Open File: Export. make sure that you’ve selected PNG (Transparent.) Constrain the proportions to 100x100. EDIT: sorry, this should have been 85x85 if you want to match what’s shown with item code in bios. 

hit okay, give it a name, and you’re done! 

[twenty-sixumbrellas]

A Heartbeat, Perfect, and Law and Order

Pairing: Older! Five x Female! Reader

Prompt: “could i request a five x reader where they’re like getting married like they’re both so giddy and smiley during and after and they’re just extra lmao if not that’s ok!” -lovely @campcampie

A/N: I’m timing at a meet rn and I’m having a gr8 time! Can we pretend Five never left? K thanks. Y’all are about 20ish? How old are people who get married? (Peep me playing Tamagotchi every time I get a writer’s block) Also I’ve never been married (lmao) so I guessed on most of this. :)

( @andyoudoctor ’s gif )

“I’m so excited!!” Allison says from her seat at the vanity. She picks up the curler, which you take from her.

“Why? It’s my wedding,” you sass, curling some of your hair. You chose Allison, Vanya, and Grace as your bridesmaids.

Vanya puts her hand on top of your shaking one. “You look amazing, and I bet Five wishes he could see you now.”

———Five’s POV———

“I want to see my wife,” I demand, trying to move around Luther’s massive monkey shoulders.

“You know the rules. Not before the wedding,” he sighs. He puts a hand on my shoulder, which I quickly shake off. It’s too bad my powers aren’t working. I imagine it’s because of the stress.

Luther moves for a moment and I book it. Where is she? Finally arriving at the door of the Bride’s room, I try and open the door. Locked.

“Go away Five,” says Allison nonchalantly from the other side.

“Five?” Her voice sounded heavenly.

I lean against the door and I hear her do the same. “I really want to see you. I can’t teleport though.”

“I really want to see you too. But you know we can’t. I will see you later, Mister.” She giggles and I sigh. I really want to see how beautiful she looks.

Klaus starts nervously pulling me away. “Until later?”

She sighs. “I’d wait until the end of the world for you.”

“Let’s go, Loverboy,” Diego says, pulling me.

———Your POV———

“I’m nervous!” You yell at Allison and Vanya. They finish applying the veil, and they both smile.

“Y/n,” Vanya starts, “you look wonderful.”

“Exactly. But... are you sure you want Klaus to walk you down?” Allison raises an eyebrow.

“I would like no one else to.”

———Five’s POV———

I wait, nervously twitching my thumbs, for her arrival. The music starts a sweet melody, and my heart beats out of my chest. Where is she?

Just then, Klaus emerges, looking extremely happy, with a veiled y/n at his side. I can’t see what she looks like, but I’m already so awestruck from how she looks.

She walks up and Klaus moves to his place on my side. I reach up and feel the soft material move through my fingers, lifting it slowly, I gasp. I’m breathless. Her hair is put up neatly but eloquently, and frames her face perfectly. Her eyes. Oh my god, her eyes. Their color shows vibrantly, and are filled with love and happiness.

I realize I’m tearing up and look down, still smiling like an idiot.

I can’t believe I’m marrying a goddess.

The boring speech starts, and I zone through it. My vows are up.

“With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.” I nearly faint from my nerves, but she smiles sweetly anyway. She could always see through me.

“Five, my dear, I love you because you were completely ready to do that vow.” Laughs emerge from the pews. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Every moment, whether drinking coffee at three am, or tipping canoes, I’m happy as long as you, my true love, are there. I want to be your always.” She slips my ring on and smiles at me teary-eyed. I smile back, in the same state.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

We meet in the middle for a sweet, passionate kiss that recieves a few wolf-whistles. We separate with me chuckling, and y/n looks like she wants to hit me. “I missed you too~” I sing.

“Stop it.”

———Your POV (are y’all dizzy yet? XD)———

The wedding reception is small, but feels like home. Your Grandma comes, and you laugh when she gives Five a good death-grip hug.

“Grandma, don’t kill him,” you say, laughing. “We haven’t gotten to the dance yet!”

Five just rolls his eyes, and pulls you to the floor. You & I (Nobody In the World) by John Legend plays, and you start moving in sync with the beat. You speed up with him when the music pics up.

Spinning you around him as the music slows, Five smiles down at you, and leans in for a tender kiss. To be interrupted by Klaus.

He shouts, “All right, everyone take your seats, I want to be the first toast!” You look at eachother, very much scared of his next words. You sit down at the main table, and pray that he doesn’t say something to make Five’s family hate you.

“I’ve known Five for a long time. My entire life. And he’s a real asshole.” There’s a few gasps from the croud, and you grow more nervous. “But in all of that time, I’ve never seen him love someone as much as he loves y/n.” The whole room ‘awes’ and you go red. “But here’s a story about y/n-” you cut him off.

Taking the mic form him, you say, “Alright that’s enough. Who’s next?”

“Me, please,” says Vanya. “Now usually,” She begins once handed a mic, “I don’t do these kinds of things, but y/n and Five are my best friends, so you know I have to.” Good-hearted chuckles come from the family. “I remember when Five and y/n first met. It was awful.

“They used to sneak everywhere, which was easy because she lived next door.” You laugh at this. “They fell in love, and were both stupid enough not to see it. Everyone else did. I will never be able to thank either of you enough for causing each of my best friends’ happiness.”

You mouthe, ‘thank you’ to her and she winks.

You stand up and shout, “Cake!” Five’s shoulders shake at his silent laughter. “Shut up.” You grab a handful and shove it in his face. Everyone ‘ooo’s’. He looks at you open-mouthed, but then devilishly smirks. Grabbing a handful of his own, he hits you square in the face.

“You’ve got something.... there.” You laugh, and it’s heaven to his ears.

The two of you kiss once more, covered in, very expensive, mind you, cake. Klaus cheers and takes a massive bite of his slice.

———Five’s POV (last switch I promise)———

We get home, finally and share a sigh. She sprints to our room, and I follow. She speed changes into one of my old shirts and faded pajama pants.

I just put on sweats and a David Bowie shirt.

We sit on the couch together, very close, and I rub her ring finger delicately. She hums, and I drift off to her heartbeat, Perfect, and Law and Order.

[momo-de-avis]

hey if its not much trouble would you mind explaining the whole "900 years of history lost" misunderstanding about notre dame? thanks in advance!

No trouble anon! though if you’ll allow me I’ll ramble a little bit..................

I’m not sure it’s a misunderstanding as much as it is panic generated by social media and the images we got. What I mean is, not that social media made it worse, but that it was televised.

But make no mistake, there was a level of loss, of course there was. From what I gathered (there’s news coming from everywhere and I’m trying to rely on what these eyes see from the pics lol) a few windows shattered, and then the roof and spire collapsed entirely. Those are the main points of loss, what disappeared. But it can be brought back.

I’m gonna go a bit on a ramble here if yall excuse me lol but if anyone here who is japanese can correct me or add more info, please do. But take Japan: there’s a law in place where I believe every 25 years, historical buildings are torn down and rebuilt using the same techniques and materials. They also value copies, and a lot of museums preserve the original materials and artefacts far away from the public eye, and what they have on display is copies. This is related of course to the country’s propensity for natural disasters and such. There’s this thought that at any given time, an earthquake or something could destroy these emblems of history, so they preserve the original because what matters is to keep memory alive. As long as they keep memory safe, they can rebuild and keep that history alive.

Europe (and well, the west) has a very different way of seeing things. It’s either preserve or restore, but generally speaking a combination of both. The idea that something that has been destroyed can be rebuilt can tickle us the wrong way. Even when Dresden was rebuilt, despite having been bombed to smithereens during the war, there was reluctance in accepting it. Because rebuilding isn’t quite the same, it’s not exactly as it was before. But the thing is, did the people of Dresden care about that, when they lost their historical landmarks? They chose to keep the memory alive.

With the Notre Damme, it’s curious because we’re seeing a swift shift of positions here. The french always truck as particularly against this idea of ‘rebuilding’ (the Notre Damme’s intervention by Viollet-le-Duc in the 19th century raised quite a stir, a lot of people hated it. And if you want to see just how resilient against ‘reconstruction’ some french art historians are, check the controversies behind Hausmann). But the situation was: when faced with the imminence of a major loss, the french united immediately. They want their church rebuilt. And I think that, not only will the Notre Damme be rebuilt eventually (though it might take some time), it can be a good thing in the end.

It’s really important to note that most of the statues, relics, artworks and artefacts were saved like, that was SUCH a good thing. Which means a major part of the memory of the church has been preserved. What collapsed---the roof and the spire, and as far as I can tell a few windows---can also be brought back. Now, of course, it won’t be ipsis verbis what it was before. But The Notre Damme is so well documented, so well studied, with so many experts surrounding it, there’s more than enough documentation to not only bring back what fell, it can also be done in more technologically modern ways. The roof for example will not be what it was, especially because of 1) the type of wood, 2) the amount of wood. But it can be redone very, very similarly using methods that now keep in mind the eventuality of a fire, of an earthquake, a flood, etc. It can be done better to prevent further disasters.

When I saw the pictures of the inside of the church after the fire went out, I seriously thought ‘this bitch didn’t even SHAKE’. When I saw the stained-glass rosacea my jaw seriously dropped. Like, I can’t express how positive those images were: the main wall structures were intact, the most important stained-glass windows survived. 

It’s almost funny that it was the spire that fell. The spire was built in the 19th century, under Viollet-le-Duc’s restoration process. In the 19th century, most iconic churches were in shambles, Notre Damme wasn’t the only one. here in Portugal, the famous Jerónimos looked like this:

It was shit. Then they built a tower there because these guys in the 19th century thought they knew better and they seriously made up notions of ‘gothic’ that was very far from the real gothic, and that tower was so goddamn high it collapsed, so then it looked like this:

Building towers that weren’t there was a thing in the 19th century lmao and nearly all of them collapsed. The spire of the Notre Damme was a stubborn bitch and lived on through another century. It can be rebuilt as well---again, it’s very well documented, there are millions of photos out there, as well as exhaustive studies, restoration processes and overall documentation that tells us not just how it was made, but the process of construction back in the 19th century. So it can be done, and I have absolutely no doubt that it will. I have no doubt at all that in a few years (though I can’t say how many) we will see the Notre Dame again.

Most of these buildings suffered fires and catastrophes of the sort throughout their lives. They survived, and the marks of those moments remained in the stone, the construction, the documentation. It’s not unheard of, and it won’t be the last. These things happen, unfortunately, and it’s in our best interest to prevent, to prepare these historical landmarks for the eventuality of another one happening and come up with a safer plan to reduce damage next time it happens (whether the Notre Dame or somewhere else). 

I do think it’s an exaggeration to say the Notre Dame is gone, because holy shit, it’s not. It’s right there. This bitch survived two world wars and a huge fire. She won’t g down so easily.

There are more tragic occurrences more recently that are more concerning to me: take the Rio de Janeiro museum, or Palmyra. There’s an enormous level of loss, of irreparable damage to those cases. Things have been lost forever, and not just historical landmarks: things pertaining to the birth of civilization, first evidence of humans on earth and things of the sort. It’s not the same with the Notre Dame. We can, and we should all breathe easily because the damage as far less than we were led to believe. But I think what caused panic was the fact that it was televised. We watched it in real time, watched it as it burned and of course we thought the worst. Though catastrophes like this one have happened several times before, this time it was televised, and I think that made it worse.

But now that the damage is being assessed (and mind you, though I preach about the walls standing and all, there’s a level of danger there too, and specialists need to asses the extent of the damage caused by the fire. Thankfully, we do have technology and knowledge to prevent any further damage) we can all say: this bitch is going to live, like, nothing can bring it down.

On a related note: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-47959313

They’re calling architects all around the world to design a new spire. Now, there’s going to be some purist minds who will be against it, because, as I stated before, ‘it won’t be the same’. But the thing is, the original spire was made with the exact same intention: it was an innovation, something new, something modern, placed on a gothic building to enhance its beauty and marry old with new. And I honestly think it’s incredibly cool that they’re aiming towards designing a new spire. That’s what defines a building’s history, that’s how it lives on: it changes, it adapts, and it survives catastrophes so it can change and adapt again. What was there of the old roof and spire will not be lost---it will forever be remembered in millions of documents around the world. But now that the spire has died, I think it’s time for a new one to come to life. So, honestly, I do think it’s very cool!

[imagineredwood]

Bishop NSFW Alphabet 

(or as much as I could come up with)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Very cuddly and protective. Makes sure you’re ok, that you’re hydrated, reminds you to pee before you fall asleep, tucks you into the blankets, holds you to his chest, fixes your hair if he messed it up. He just likes to look after you and take care of you after you took care of him. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his mouth because he knows that it can leave you trembling in a matter of minutes. He knows exactly what you want when you keep glancing down at then, biting your lip and squirming around. He loves how weak it can make you, but when it comes to your body, god if he isn’t a drooling mess when it comes to your breasts. They’re perfect to him. Absolutely perfect. He loves the shape of them, the slope of them, the smoothness of the skin, your nipples, everything. Nothing can make him drop to his knees faster than you pulling off your top in front of him or god forbid pulling down one side of your top to expose a breast out of nowhere. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

On your chest. Tying back into the above letter, he loves your breasts and the only thing that makes him hotter than seeing your breast bare before him is seeing them covered and dripping in his cum. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh, he’s got experience and lots of it. He’s the President and he’s not exactly the same spring chicken like some of the other guys. He’s made his way around the block a few times and picked up plenty of tricks along the way. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Plain old missionary. Nothing crazy, just old school face to face. He wants to really pay attention to you and see 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He tends to be more serious. More often than not he’s making love to you rather than fucking you and he’s usually very in the moment and focused on the intimacy between the two of you, though he does love to see you smile. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He grooms himself but he’s still more on the natural side. You’ve never seen him shaved bare before. It’s just not really his thing, too much work, and upkeep. He does keep himself to where he’s natural but not unruly. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very romantic and intimate, no matter what. He loves eye contact and holds it nearly the entire time. He loves making sure you see how consumed by you he is and how you have his full and undivided attention. He loved to bury his fingers into your hair at the back of your head and hold you in place, keeping you face to face. He loves to kiss you everywhere and feel you pressed against him. The intimacy is half the pleasure for him. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself and he does. Not only when on runs but even when you’re there. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, he’ll usually take care of himself, especially on a weeknight and he knows you have to be up early for work. He’s fine with taking care of himself until you’re available or game. He always much rather have you do it though of course. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Daddy/caregiver kink. Don’t fight me on this. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Innocently enough, just seeing you in domestic situations. When he comes home and finds you at the stove cooking dinner in a tank top and some panties or waking up on a Sunday morning and seeing you dance around the house as you mop. He loves seeing you relaxed and safe and happy, with him. Seeing you comfortable and doing the things that you want to do as the woman of the house gets him hard embarrassingly fast. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will hurt you or greatly degrade you. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Definitely prefers to give. He loves to look after you and spoil you and one of his favorite ways to do that is with his head between your thighs. He loves the way you sound, the way you move, the way you grip him. Of course, he’ll never turn down the chance to receive, but giving is there he really gets into it. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the situation and mood. Typically he’s more slow and sensual, but he can most definitely switch it up and take you hard or rough when the mood strikes, or if you ask. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’ll have a quickie if you really, really want one, but he himself rather just wait until he has the time and privacy to do it right. He likes to spend as much time as he likes and hates having to rush so unless you can convince him otherwise, he rather wait until he gets you home and all to himself. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’d rather go for one really good one and then call it a night. Up early, asleep late, stressful days, shootouts. Unless you surprise him in his favorite red lingerie, he’s going to take his time and make sure that he gives you his all in one really good round. Its usually only lazy Sundays where he’ll take your repeatedly throughout the day 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He loves to use them on you. He’s a grown man and very confident and comfortable in his sexuality and abilities. Sex toys don’t intimidate him at all and he’s very open to incorporating them into your sex life. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to be teased more than tease. He likes to build up, the suggestive texts, the risque pics, the promises of what will be to come when he gets home. Direct teasing though isn’t his favorite though. He much rather have an even give and take for whatever either of you wants.  

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not very loud or vocal. He much rather hear you. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I honestly haven’t put enough tthought into this to come up with an answer tbh  lmao 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s pretty average. He’s somewhat older than the others so he’s calmed down some as well and the club takes a lot of his focus, but when he wants you, he’ll have you and no age or rough day is going to stop him. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s out like a light pretty quickly. Once he knows you’re good and cuddled up, he’s gone. 

[angstymarshmallow]

Tagged - 20 Questions

Okay Elle @the-everlasting-dream, my dearest - since you tagged me; here we go :’)

1. When/what age did you start writing? Probably as early as I can remember. I was always in love with the ideas of stories; of the kinds I could create because I loved making up characters. So probably around 9 or 10 is the first memory I really have of really trying to write stories with a pencil and paper. 

2. What inspired you to start? As a child it had a lot to do with seeing television shows and reading books that really inspired me to want to write my own. And eventually it kind of spiraled from there, except this time I’m sparked by my imagination.

3. Where and when does inspiration usually strike you? Everywhere. When I’m listening to music, when I’m just about ready to fall asleep, when I’m in the middle of a show or even just talking with someone; something just goes off inside my head like yup this is a good time to think and day dream about this.

4. Where and when do you usually to write? Morning? Late at night? On the bus? In bed? Mostly in the theatre? room of my home. Usually at wee hours of the night/ morning, that’s when my imagination really comes alive.I can also write a lot in the morning as well but I’m less productive. I used to write in bed a lot but mostly its wherever I can; usually in a sitting position.

5. Do you listen to music while writing? If so what genre/playlist? I’ve started listening to music while writing, especially if a song specifically speaks to me and especially for fanfiction. It kind of just depends though, I still for the most part prefer silence - mostly i end up tuning everything out at some point if it feels too loud. I listen to a lot of folk music, some pop, indie - Jane @irlquinnkelly made this awesome playlist for me recently and I’ve been really listening to that too lol.

6. Which category do you like best? Angst? Fluff? NSFW? Other? Definitely angst. Nothing speaks to me more than getting my heart broken or twisted. I really like feeling something for a character’s circumstances. But I also enjoy good fluff and nsfw as well.

7. Which category do you find most challenging to write? Fluff. I write it sometimes, more recently but I can never really tell if it feels authentic. I really only hope it does and go from there. Humour is kind of hard to write too, but I don’t force it - if the characters calls for it, well then it happens.

8. If you had to pick your favourite Choices book, which one would it be and why? For awhile it was Most Wanted, because everything about that book is so damned brilliant. Now it’s mostly The Royal Romance. I’ve written so much fanfiction about it lmao, and I really just genuinely enjoy the story. It’s got such good characters that you can’t help but love and the plot isn’t hard to follow.

9. If your Choices LIs were real, which one (and only one!) would you personally want to be with? Probably Seth. We’d have so much in common; we’re both huge dorks, we both make references to video games (sometimes) obscure, we both enjoy roleplaying board games and we’re both into humour! Seriously, he’s adorable and I feel like we’d have good chemistry.

10. Do you share any physical characteristics with your Choices MCs?  Pics/selfies optional :)Not really no. On a general level, I try not to make my MCs too much like any given person. They’re their own people that just live inside my head - sure there coincidences mostly accidental lol and I guess on some level we share some familiarity but physically - nope.

11. Which MC do you share the most personality traits with? I’ve been told I’m a bit like my TRR MC Robyn aha, which makes me happy because she’s super awesome! But I don’t really see myself sharing a lot of personality traits with any of MCs. I mean yeah, there are some similarities again- but my mind is kinda coming up blank.

12. Which Choices character do you feel you have the best grasp of in terms of personality? I think (and I’ve ah been told,) I genuinely get Drake pretty well in terms of personality. 

13. What’s your favourite choices pairing to write for? Definitely Drake and Robyn, with Dia and Zig a close second. BUT. Thomas and Tatum are starting to give them a run for their money aha - I know I should choose one, but I love these three a lot so this makes it so hard :’(.

14. What is a pairing/s you hope to start writing for? I would love to write more Grant x MC material; but they aren’t a couple that a lot of people enjoy. I would love to write some Mr. Sinclaire x MC too.

15. What do you hope to improve in your writing? Everything. I’m always striving to be better with everything - whether its attention to detail, or editing (because sometimes I go back and cringe at awkward sentences I’ve created or dialogue that just doesn’t...?) or for emotional appeal because I want readers to laugh and cry, to feel something so strongly that they embody that character - I genuinely believe the more you practice, the better you are at something. And that something for me is everything.

16. Any pet peeves related to writing? Grammar and spelling or huge for me, if I see something more than a few times, I immediately stop reading because it’s such a hugee turn off for me lol. I’ve seen some great second person narrative but on a general level I don’t particularly enjoy them in fanfiction.

17. Are you inspired by any IRL experiences when you write? Care to share? Similar feelings sure - it’s hard not to pour your heart out, to work whatever you’re going through in your writing (at least for me anyway), but not specific personal experiences because my characters are their own y’know?

18. Is there any particular piece of work you consider to be your ultimate writing goal? Something so amazing you hope once day you’ll be able to be up to that standard? Nothing in particular that I can think of other than my own personal favourite authors that have always emotionally gotten me invested and have gripped me from nearly the beginning every time.  

19. Did/do you write for any other fandoms? If so which ones? Nope just choices aha.

20. In your spare time (when you’re not writing) what other hobbies do you pursue? Reading (not as much as I used to), video games, board-games, writing poetry, a bit of drawing - I’m trying to learn html but my attention span is so wack sometimes...ah kickboxing lots and lots of kickboxing. And I think that’s all I can think of.

Share and tag your favourite writers!

@hellomynameisdeviblaire @mrswalkerwrites, @blazerina, @choicessa, @irlquinnkelly, @tmarie82, @boneandfur, @i-dream-so-i-write, @nerdpossible, @losrchester (I miss her writing) @mewly (I loved what you showed me and I need moreee) - I can’t think of anyone else at the moment, but there’s so many great writers in this fandom, I’m just very bad at checking tags for fics I want to read ahhhh. 

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 04

wow I let this build up didn’t I.... updates on the ViVi inspired hair, Sim download info, some sweet people, some K-Pop, and other stuff below

@agentwashsims​ said: I️ knew you wouldn’t disappoint on the curly hairs!

Thank youu! lmao it is a pretty basic edit but I’m glad you like it ;-;

Anonymous said: Could you convert the solid colored EA Cruella DeVille style for girls or tots?

Actually it has already been converted HERE (warning: she uses an ad thing :( )

@pierce-the-rachel​ said: Okay hello I just love your cc so much!!! Like you're amazing I what you do. Much love<3   

Thank you so much omgg I am not nearly close to being amazing but I appreciate it <3

Anonymous said: Hi! Is there any chance your sim that modeled the Braxton hair will be up for download? Along with his cc?

Yes! In the next week he 100% will be. Taylor will be posted tomorrow :)

Anonymous said: What skin do you use on your male models? It looks the same as the female one but I can’t find it in CAS.

Check my resource page for my default. I don’t have the overlay labeled on there but in the next few days when I have my male model for download it will be listed there.

Anonymous said: I love your whistle skinny jeans alot, I was wondering if you were ever thinking about making one without the jacket around the waist? Sorry for wasting your time :P

That is sadly out of my ability :( but I am glad u like my whistle skinny jeans!! Not a waste of time to give someone a compliment

Anonymous said: Not exactly an ask but. I love your cc, you create beautiful content, and no matter what others say someone is gonna like it :)

Thank you soooo much omfg I really fucking appreciate stuff like this.

Anonymous said: Your creations are so awesome! I always love coming to your page and seeing all of your amazing creations!!

Thank you!!!!!! omg I feel bad that I never respond to these until I do these things, you guys that send these prob think I ignore them ;-; but for the people who read these and who send them: I really appreciate it like so much ;-; it has been a meh couple of weeks which is why CC has been slow but I love you all so much <3

@raivynmoon​ said: Omg why do you always get so much hate from anons? I’ll tell you why, because you’re doing things right and toxic people get jealous. Don’t mind the haters, you’re amazing! Happy new year ❤️ 

I actually don’t get that much hate! I never really pay them any mind bc I know as long as it is something I like that I will release it. People do def prob get jealous they can’t mesh stuff that well, not saying I am the god at it, but I do have some talent in that area from doing it for a while. Happy new year to you too!!! and thank you for the ask <3

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that all of your cc is amazing, you put so much time and effort into it. of course everyone can give you feedback and opinions about what you make, but you are the creator so you can do whatever you want with it. that anon below was just rude, inconsiderate, and isn’t really helping anyone. that person obviously doesn’t make cc hair, because im sure then they would understand and not be a total jerk about it. maybe they should just stick to makeup, instead of hating.

<-- what she said (thank youuu)

Anonymous said: well I think that all of the hair you make is really great, even if not everyone likes it. You spend so much time making these amazing hairs and shout-out to the person below: why would you waste your time hating on somebody else’s hard work when you could be creating makeup cc? You don’t put your effort and time into creating this kind of stuff, of course I know you were also giving feedback.

Thank you <3

Anonymous said: THE HAIR IS CUTE AF

Anonymous said: Wcif the hair in your "In The Time Spent With You" post? Thank you!♡

Deleted :( I never got it to look how I wanted so I never finished it

Anonymous said: I'd just like to say that the hair looks pretty, honestly your hairs are always high quality and never fail to dissapoint, I'd just say that it could be a little puffier on the sides, and over all ignore the haters, they probably couldn't make anything close to what you're making! Luvs. 

Thank you!! I tried puffing the sides up some, here is a comparison pic:

(brown is now) (blonde is before)

@twirlyb​ said: I love the idea of the hair and I think it looks good so far but so you think that there's anyway to add for volume? I love the hair that it's based on and I really want to have it in game. I Completely understand if it's not an option but I though I would ask anyway. Btw I think your hairs are amazing. I went mostly cc free for a while (not anymore could handle not having cc but) and the only things I kept were my defaults and some of your hairs that I absolutely can not live without.

Refer above lmao

@cutesimmer23​ said: Hi , anonimus , I have a message for you. If you think Austin's cc is trashy , it's just your opinion. His ccs are one of my top favourites , and I support him in all that he does , even if that's not too good. He tries to do something and , even it's not perfect at the first time , he tries to perfect it. I really love his cc . And I have something more to say. If you are that good at cc give Austin a message (not anonimously) and then we will see who's the best. We love you, Austin!

Thank you <3 You're lovely for sending me this

Anonymous said: heyy love your blog and all of your creations. wcif ALL of your sims? do you ever upload them to the gallery?

Macie is already posted, link on my resource page. Taylor will be posted tomorrow, and my male model will be posted next week. The rest idk

Anonymous said: um can that damn anon piss off. your content is absolutely amazing and some things aren't for everyone but someone out there will love and appreciate it. also the hair in your profile picture looks gorgeous. is it released yet? and the wip you posted is cute af. ignore those haters <3

Thank you <3 Hair in my profile pic is my HyunA hair :)

Anonymous said: Hi, so sorry if anyone has already asked this, but I was wondering hat your origin ID was, since your sims are super cute!? Ps. I'm totally in love with your blog!!!

My origin is Spotharris but it does not have much on it right now, Ps. thank you

Anonymous said: Do you have any K-Pop albums? Which ones?

Oh my! I have a few! I have Red Velvet’s Perfect Velvet, and 6 LOONA albums (Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry, Yves, Mix & Match, and Max & Match)

 Anonymous said: I miss you having Macie as your icon :(     

Me too jush she needs to make a comeback     

Anonymous said: Hey I was wondering if you could do a tutorial on how to make a middle parted hair side parted ?? please

I might do a livestream sometime in the future that is me remaking a hair like Joy or something where I did that. I am really bad at video stuff though so like... someone help?

Anonymous said: Can I just say how much I absolutely love all of your hairs? Like your so talented in making cc. Please keep up the great work!

Thank you!

Anonymous said: Can you convert the cupid eyes you posted for dogs/cats? It's fine if you can't, jw!

rip I can but I really don’t want to ;-;

Anonymous said: I just want to say I love you so much! All your creations are so beautiful and I use them ALL the time. Happy Holidays! ~ V

Happy late holidays!

Anonymous said: Do you have all of your own CC in your game?

Nooooo lmao

Anonymous said: does ur hyuna hair work with the ombres?

She does not :(

Anonymous said: make more diverse sims

gotcha

Anonymous said: yo i remember when you first started out and you were just starting.  now you've improved a HELL of a lot. like WOAH (i love your cc)

we don’t speak of those times in my life ok

Anonymous said: I don't know if you are open to cc requests, so if you are, would you ever consider separating them utility jacket from cats and dogs? I've seen so many people recolor it but I can't find it as an accessory, and I've looked everywhere.

A friend of mine tried it but it was really glitchy :( Maybe in the future I could give it a go?

Anonymous said: LIPS, HIPS LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) L-LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) Hi-hi-hi-hi-hip (POP!)

yes i agree with everything

Anonymous said: I have the same b-day as you

only legends were born on that day. and December 2nd.

Anonymous said: Your birthday is the day before mine and the day after my sister's            

So close to being legends.... sad

Anonymous said: I thought, you're female😅😅🔫

rip ur mind after i blew it up by being a male

Anonymous said: damn didnt know u were homophobic lol

oh

Anonymous said: fmk: danny devito, shrek, and jim carrey's the grinch

fuck danny bc idk who it is and i know a hot danny. marry the grinch bc he i like mayor of whoville after the movie. kill shrek and take the donkey.

Anonymous said: ahHHHhhHh idk why but i love you so much(not in a weird way u pervery xddd)

thanks babessss

Anonymous said: You should start a gameplay

I dont have the computer or the time for that I am sorry to say

[anontrolls]

> Egret: Experience a whole entire positive emotion.

[Fishbait runs across a caustic helmsman in chat, and Egret manages to actually kinda-sorta like someone despite his better nature.]

CC: |> So, is this whole chatroom really a thing, or is it more of an elaborate ruse designed to appear like a real chatroom with a conversational history but no actually speaking individuals? <|

CC: |> This is an important question, I just stepped on a bug the size of a small meowbeast and need emotional support, because there are guts everywhere. <|

II: rest in pieces this random fucking bug that died and nobody gave a single damn.

II: go watch pale vids and feel better or some shit.

II: you good now?

II: comfort comfort. appease appease.

CC: |> Now, why would I do that when I could have loving comfort like this? <|

CC: |> Throw in a diamond, and my poor feelings will truly be ameliorated! <|

CC: |> Maybe not my boots, though. <|

CC: |> Does this wash out? <|

II: dunno, Civitrecce has washers that can get out damn near anything.

II: but they might also eat your boots.

II: try it and see.

CC: |> Oooh, Civitrecce? <|

CC: |> Can't say I've ever been there, which is saying something! <|

CC: |> I've passed by, however, and I have to admit, I thought the desperate attempts at warding me away by the locals were really rather dramatic! <|

CC: |> Good to know that I didn't doom myself to malfunctioning washing equipment. <|

II: yeah, you might've cried or something and the world would've fucking ended.

II: Really? It's not like we don't have fish. But then it's also mostly lowbies, guess you spooked them.

II: Dipshits.

CC: |> Snowdrop, I only cry over pretty faces and eastern dramas. <|

CC: |> A ruined pair of boots is just a new opportunity for better, cuter boots! <|

CC: |> And, goodness, how offensive. <|

CC: |> Are you calling me ugly enough to scare people off? <|

CC: |> Keep going like that, and I'm going to become bereft again! <|

II: You could be the most hideous thing known to trollkind and I wouldn't give a fuck. Maybe you are. Maybe you're so ugly you crack glass. I doubt it matters given your pan is fluffier than lint and twice as airheaded.

RS: | Heavens | What am I Even Witnessing Here | ? |

CC: |> Well, who was concerned with how you feel about it? <|

CC: |> Maybe I just want to be pretty! <|

CC: |> Besides, I was just poking fun at you. <|

CC: |> You can imagine me popping my gum here, if it pleases you, since we've decided I've got air to spare. <|

II: a highblood pissing contest, what does it look like.

CC: |> A tragedy in motion, my dear RS! <|

CC: |> One that involves, ah. Piss, apparently. <|

II: it's an expression. how wet-finned are you.

CC: |> II, dear, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you might've put the wrong walkfrond down when you got out of your coon this evening. <|

II: that'd be hard given I don't have a recupe

II: boy I miss submerging in sopor

CC: |> I suppose, in that case, if we're leaning into the literal nature of expressions, I'll have to admit I'm not very wet-finned at all! <|

CC: |> Haven't taken a swim in nearly a sweep, really. <|

II: wow what kind of dumb fish are you.

CC: |> And, oh, what are you, one of those avante garde types that's into the patches? <|

II: don't you lot dry out if you don't get wet enough.

II: or it's bad for your health, or something.

II: but sure, deprive yourself of nutrients, when you go even more batshit we can all point and laugh

II: I used patches a few times, but wrong as fuck.

CC: |> Well, I do wash myself. <|

CC: |> Hygiene is important, you know, even if you've got a proclivity for contests involving urine. <|

II: not actually. You're the one who keeps going on about it.

II: I preferred to fuck people over with my psi.

CC: |> Oh, it's called teasing. <|

CC: |> You seem to know an awful lot about seadwellers, though, snowdrop, for a blueblood with psi that doesn't sleep in sopor like a regular troll! <|

CC: |> Why, if I knew as much about bluebloods as you know about me, I would call you a liar! <|

II: I treasure my goddamn ignorance of you weird gilled fucks.II: What's there to even know about bluebloods, that doesn't make sense.

CC: |> Well, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to greatly disappoint you by informing you that I have not, in fact, dried out last I checked. <|

II: Cold, strong, ceruleans get psi occasionally. bam done.

CC: |> Oh, cold, really? <|

CC: |> You don't have to be modest - you've been providing such a warm welcome! <|

CC: |> I'll admit I'm a tad jealous, though! <|

CC: |> What I wouldn't do with a good bit of psi. <|

CC: |> I'm afraid I wouldn't give up sopor for the world, though. <|

CC: |> Gorgeous or not, beauty sleep is non-optional. <|

II: Why do you want psi. You're violet. You have everything anyway, unless you wanna be the goddamn Condesce though I die at the fucking thought.

CC: |> Oh, I don't know, ruling the Empire sounds awfully nice. <|

II: You have to actually think.

CC: |> Maybe a bit more work than I'm strictly willing to do, yes. <|

II: Fucking terrifying prospect, I'm sure.

CC: |> Still, a nice gig when you think about it - I'm sure she foists off plenty to those lovely courtiers of hers. <|

II: Them? They're just dumb trollstagram pretty faces.

II: Like with this stupid fucking velvegrade thing going around.

II: Get a robotic pet.

II: They're the easiest of all.II: why these stupid worm things.

II: they look like something I'd feed to my lusus.

CC: |> Going around my boots, mostly. A real pity, I think it was cute before it ran under my boot. <|

CC: |> And, well, it sounds like according to you I would make a fabulous courtier! <|

CC: |> What an aspiration, I'm flattered. <|

CC: |> And, dear, I'm fairly certain you look like something I'd feed my lusus, but that's no reason to assume you haven't got pinchable cheeks! <|

II: you'd be a great ornament probably. skin you, preserve the the fins and put them on jewelry.

II: hahahahahahaha.

II: yeah, I don't think your lusus wants to eat me.

II: it'd have a goddamn job of it.

CC: |> Goodness. That was vividly edgy. <|

II: no I mean it couldn't fit me in its mouth.

-- immobileInstigator [II] sent lol.png. it's just a pic of himself in the wire, lopsided grin and all --

II: unless it's fucking gl'bgolyb sized.

CC: |> Well, if you're really so concerned, I assure you that it would be fine. <|

CC: |> It hasn't got a mouth, and I'm sure it would find all the tentacles relateable. <|

CC: |> Goodness. Who did that to you? A waste of good horns. <|

II: yeah I fucking know right

II: they were great

-- immobileInstigator [II] has sent oldface.png. It's him with his horns, frowning at the camera. --

CC: |> I suppose that's a proper reason not to envy you - I've got hair down to my heels, snowdrop, and it took a long time to grow out. <|

CC: |> Oh, you are cute! <|

CC: |> Are those holes supposed to be there, though? <|

II: yeah okay.

II: fuck no, those were piercings.

CC: |> I cannot truly express how pleased I am that you had the edgy dyed sidesweep. <|

II: It's not

II: I fucking wish

II: You really think it would've stayed dyed this whole time?

II: lmao

CC: |> Past tense, snowdrop, let's remember our reading comprehension! <|

CC: |> Remember, I'm the fluffsponge and you're the cuttingly witty intellectual. <|

II: intellectualism is for shitheads

II: the pretentious jackass kind

II: not the bored as fuck kind

II: which is me

CC: |> The cuttingly witty cynic with truesight? <|

II: you can just call me egret.II: we're not in fucking dnd.

CC: |> A pleasure! <|

CC: |> And oh, dear, well, I suppose that means I can't ask you to call me the empress of enchanters! <|

CC: |> Or the king of conjurers... <|

CC: |> The tsar of tricksters, maybe! <|

CC: |> At any rate, my name is Fishbait. <|

II: wow stunning.

CC: |> Thank you! <|

II: I think I'll just call you Glubby.

CC: |> After our great Empress's esteemed matron caretaker! <|

CC: |> Please imagine a saucy bow and a tip of my hat, I'm honored. <|

II: how is a bow saucy

II: I've read a lot of bad, bad godawful goddamn fanfic hanging here

II: but that's a fucking new one

CC: |> Talent and vim! <|

CC: |> And glitter. <|

II: oh god I found a fucking east alternian cartoon

CC: |> I'm afraid my rumblespheres aren't quite large enough to qualify for that particular genre, but I have been told I have very large eyes. <|

II: usually it's me grossing people out. for goddamn once, it is me on the other side, and quite honestly fuck this shit.

II: you going to post a pic or do I have to imagine the horror for the rest of my sort-of life.

CC: |> Oh, is that what we're doing? <|

CC: |> And here I thought you were just fishing for compliments! <|

CC: |> Well, if you're already that charmed by me - <|

--charmingCutup [CC] sent shellfie.jpg--

II: why in the name of the great goddamn mother grub do I need compliments. you have now seen me. are you that fucking high.

II: I'm morbidly intrigued, does that count?

CC: |> Oh, I don't know, they seemed to make you happy. <|

CC: |> Nothing wrong with a bit of flattery in the morning. <|

II: my happiness is sourced in dreams of my captain dying or winning a new level of candy crush.

CC: |> And getting called cute by charming strangers on the internet! <|

CC: |> While retaining your sharp wit and cunning repartee. <|

II: has anyone ever told you that you are the weirdest fucking stain on the planet ever hatched.

II: the hell are those fins, anyway.

II: Looks fragile as fuck.

II: surprised no one's ripped them off.

CC: |> Not quite phrased that way, no! I commend your creativity. <|

CC: |> I think the usual term is 'uniquely charming and fascinatingly refreshing.' <|

CC: |> And, goodness, you are fond of violent imagery. <|

CC: |> I suppose it might please you to know, then, that it's been tried! <|

CC: |> They're just, ah, a tad bit uncomfortable to the touch. <|

II: You poisonous or electric?

II: heard of fish who can do that, thought it was bogus

II: but you're so fucking bizarre I'll believe you rode a musclebeast to the moons and back.

CC: |> Neither! <|

CC: |> I thought someone as particular as you would have differentiated between poison and venom, snowdrop. <|

II: I really, truly do not give a single solitary damn. It's not like either of them can affect me now.

II: Pedantry in shit that can't hurt me anyway is for dipshits.

CC: |> Oh? <|

CC: |> And here I am, learning new things about the toxin resistance of our helmscolumns every night! <|

II: No, because somebody's really going to bother to bring something venomous in to kill me with when they cut just cut my wire and leave me to die.

II: If it did kill me so what but that's a really idiotic way to off me.

II: I'd be annoyed, right before I was dead.

II: This isn't a Bohnde movie.

II: Or Troll Bond, or whatever they call it these nights

CC: |> Oh, dear, I somehow managed to forget you were into the vivid imagery. <|

CC: |> Snowdrop, I really was just teasing you. <|

CC: |> But, more importantly - do you watch Bohnde movies, then? <|

II: I've watched every kind of movie.

II: It's impossible to tell if you've ever been serious in your whole life, so I assume everything is because you're full of shit anyway.

II: Makes it slightly more entertaining.

CC: |> Well, I haven't. What's to say I put in the new one on stream and you can tell me which jokes are serious and which parts are adequately violent for your preference? <|

CC: |> I heard the technician is in this one, and I will fully confess to only have seen the last for that particular mop of hair! <|

II: Sure, whatever, I have nothing better to do.

II: unless that's another joke.

II: I'll go watch one anyway.

CC: |> Well, don't leave me behind! <|

CC: |> Here, I know a really great site for torrents... <|

II: I know a better one.

CC: |> Right, right, you're the clever one. Well, time to learn some more, I suppose. <|

[monolid-monologues]

TMI meets TMO. (as in, sharing Too Much Info will Talk Me Out of heartbreak, maybe?)

#6.

And yet another week flies by..with nothing to publish. because i haven’t been writing over the week.

Actually, plenty of writing, but, very personal writing. Where it was not happening: my tinyletter drafts. Where it was: my yellow moleskin journal i lug around everywhere. And THESE DAYS I really mean everywhere every day because…………….. well………………… WELL. WELL, HERE:

Let’s start with some context.

My last Mainstage production at UC Davis before graduating was the great beautiful and miraculous The Bluest Eye. I kid you not, I felt in my BONES how much this production would affect me. I needed to be in it. I had conflicts with another show overlapping rehearsal/show times. I got cast (joy!!!!!), then dropped (NO!!!!!!!). I caused a lot of ruckus and trouble lol. I insisted I NEED TO BE A PART OF THIS. My gut was one thooooooousand percent right. I wish this kind of ensemble experience for every student theatre artist. In this show, I enjoyed the presence of the most colorful mothafking cast i’ve ever seen in a play. We understood the importance of our work and the importance of each other in this work. We threw ourselves into shared purpose. We created and held a treasured space for love and chaos. We brewed so much love it was like a drug in a league of its own; we gave and received so much energy together we were all bonafide high off each other’s presence.

This show was selected to participate in a festival and compete for national awards and recognitions. Like 1 of 30 across the country. Part of me cannot believe a theatre production from UC Davis Major University for the Sciences was invited to this robust/artsy-theatre-program-school-type-shit festival. But also, part of me knows how special what we put on was, is, will be. The life-sized puppets, the ensemble work, the story, the purpose — we shared something rare, relevant and powerful. White Theatre Be Shooketh.

As you can tell, i’m fiercly in love with this production. And the point of this context is that we are now reuniting to put this show back together and take it to Oregon for 1 week this FEBRUARY!

and i’m getting to my point now....

That spring, i told you, i knew being in this show was going to impact me beyond words. But what i could NOT have known. What i never expected. What has been haunting me for months: Falling in love with someone in this show. I couldn’t have known that someone I’d never known before this show was going to shake. me. to. my. core. In meeting this person, knowing this person, falling in love with this person, and letting go of this person, i have undergone and am still getting through a terribly overdue re-awakening of my independence.

It gets really messy okay. For me to go INTO it, i need to go into my my open relationship, my relationship with my then partner of nearing 5 years (who was set to move in with me in the end of spring, closing the gap on our LDR), and my trapezing around town with this person I just met. The short version is this: I was careless, reckless, and naive; ignorant of my partner, ignorant of my needs, and of my own spiritual well-being. At that time, with just that person by my side, i felt fucking invincible. But I was being real clumsy.

Fast forward to the end of that spring — my partner moves back in with me, i tell this person we need to just be friends now, and everything feels wrong. I’m lying in bed with my partner, crying my eyes out because i hate letting go of this person. My partner is finally back home with me and I’m crying my eyes out because the truth was i have never felt for anyone what i felt for this person, and that included my partner. This is, of course, when i realize my partner and i need to break up.

I’m dumb in love with the most awful timing — it is absolutely not the right time for me to “be with someone” — and the most obstinate hubris — “I can handle the drama”. The relationship between me and this person is becoming increasingly tumultuous. I feel distance; I feel coldness; I feel confused. I keep biting my tongue; I keep second-guessing myself; I keep killing my impulse. I keep telling myself this is what I want! I want HIM! But what the fuck do I know about what i need? I haven’t been single in 5 years. I can barely recognize myself. There’s so much self-discovery to do. I had no business trying so hard to be with someone, when i didn’t even give myself the chance to consider what it meant to be alone.

I was absolutely in need of time with myself. Time for myself. time alone. alone. alone. alone. alone.

I understood this when I spent the following summer in Vermont. off grid. in frequent solitude. and the fellowship of a beautiful few.

I nearly forgot it when i came back from Vermont, and started trying to be with That Person. Dare i admit i became desperate? I opened myself wide open to you, in such haste, that I nearly hallowed myself of all my hard-earned and beloved sacred energy to make any kind of space i could so that you would fit. so that i could maybe possibly somehow someway make it fit, make it work. Obvious spoiler: it didn’t work.

When i was trying to make it work, i was someone different. My best friend had never seen me in such a state: so in love with someone, and so unable to get a grip on myself. Sitting across from me, or soothing me on the other end of the phone, she is shocked to witness me so paralyzed, so fearful, so insecure. She wants the best for me and i don’t care, i just want him. As I run this back through my memory, I am shocked too. I’m a little embarrassed but mostly deeply empathetic towards myself then: i needed to be alone, but i couldn’t let go. Whatever i was trying to have…Whatever i was holding onto…was suffocating my life. And I insisted on being choked and being fine.

How did this become the cliff notes to my love life? I want to share with you the magnitude of this person’s affect on my heart, so that when i say: I HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN FOR THIS FESTIVAL

you understand

the

storm

resurging

in a place i thought was healing.

I was healing. I was letting go molecule by molecule. I was steaming off the memories layer by layer. I was cutting myself off from dangerous dwellings. I was doing my god. damn. best. to thoroughly leave this person in the past where this whole thing belongs.

Yet, The Bluest Eye is reviving for at least one more stretch in February. I’ve just come back from Davis (last night Sunday); we had our first full meeting and puppet rehearsal. This is to say, i saw the guy, in the flesh, and spent the whole week prior bracing myself for it. In the spirit of self-effacing honesty: i nearly didn’t go. But i decided it is a test of strength and it is a test of independence and it is allowing my craziness to overcome my insecurities. I was going to be in a room with this guy for 5 hours and dig my nails into myself, stay loyal to myself, and be Who I am unyieldingly. I felt really good about it when i left. I proved to myself that i could be the open and loving person i am even if the guy wrenching my heart is 5 feet away. 

Being so distracted and confused by the pain and longing that i missed the opportunities to exchange energy with the rest of the room around me would have been my biggest regret. 

As i said, i left feeling quite good, proud, and at peace with my vulnerabilities.

Maybe i’m not 100% recovered, but i’m clearly, very clearly, in the THICK of recoverING, and i am truly growing, and moving forward step by step by step. 

In Davis, my good friend tells me: “if it’s not good for you, it’s not love”. Before I left for Davis, my best friend reminded me: “you’re trying too hard to fill in the blanks.” I’ve learned: “You can’t give what you can’t give.” (More familiar is the saying: you can’t give what you don’t have.)

To be completely honest, this beautiful show getting this beautiful chance at national recognition has ripped open such deep, old, ill-healing wounds in my heart. with a GIANT sigh, i am re-facing re-surfacing emotional ghosts, hurled back into combatting some very volatile mood-swinging emotional crises. In my personal journal this week i worked up a motherfkn STORM. My journal may as well be dripping from all the gel pen.

and meanwhile, my tinyletter’s been blank blank blank blank empty dusty blank………… and somehow, addressing my lack of tinyletter-ing, has revealed a very private part of my life. it is true: i was very busy private journaling, i didn’t have steam to write for the blog.

now i feel kind of sick this is the story for this week, i mean this is what came out, but this is all “VERY PERSONAL TERRITORY KEEP OUT”’. it’s honestly sort of unfortunate that this week’s letter has be to about my love life.

well there we go anyway.

Wow, Well, To leave on a more caustic, casual note~

THOUGHTS I KEEP COMING ACROSS AS I USE HINGE............

so many Del Playa/Newport, suit wearing, beer touting, IM ON A BOAT white bro motherfuckers (this is the first demographic i kept seeing on my recommended. happy to say hard passing each and every one of them has changed the algorithm).

why tf is pineapple on pizza such a hot topic lmao

BUT WHAT’S THEIR ENERGYYYYYYYYYY LIKE??????!!!!!!

But how old are these pictures man *scrutinizing any available time stamps*

Oh, :O HE’S………not the cute one in the pic………….

Pictures say 33 but profile age says 23, iooonnooooo sir

weird flex weird flex weird flex

if you think they’re 20 miles away from you, always add 20 more…………..

am i having an averse reaction to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~

am i really attracted to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~

ARE THESE SHENANIGANS THE BEST USE OF MY TIME???????????

It seems this is what comes out of me when I have nothing prepared to write about...

Nothing like rashly revealing too much info to motivate a better, more though-out next week. LOL. 

wish me luck, and see you then.

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week. if u want it straight shot to your inbox: https://tinyletter.com/rose-artrat

previous letter:  #5.) God Bless a Good Mess

for random thoughts, random questions //

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask