...that some things have changed (including some marigold ventures?) and Atlas May is like uh oh both lackadaisy & i are doomed, but if i set up my own death maybe only i'll be doomed and lackadaisy might have to shutter but perhaps more so on involved people's terms, such as mitzi being fine financially, but also if she thinks it's her fault that'll be good for maintaining my posthumous Image to her, perhaps she did some defrauding again? and i'll have mordecai, my trusted & effective gunman, be the one to fatally shoot me, & of course he doesn't want to, but it's Mere Work Ethic time, what's he gonna do besides argue at all maybe, ultimately refuse? (no) and he may hate it but he's not going to want to fully turn on mitzi or anything after because then what would have been the point
ok ok one last insanity check for everyone ok this is a lil different. like lemme just say im clearly someone who likes to go to the dark zone but also try and claw my way back out. i do sappy funny shit most of the time. and the writing of this thing has gotten long and insane, timelines have jumped as i try and parse events. as in i started w a scenario where raph nearly got sold out to his father and is rescued by his brothers immediately. we go to a place where he wasnt and is rescued later. theres been inbetweens where hes rescued but bad things happen despite that. all of this has led me to like his inner turmoils (diagnosis) and the other characters inner turmoils more. how they feel about each other how theyve coped. its good to jump around so im glad i havent said too much as if its all set in stone. im glad im not trying to write a fanfiction to SHARE if that makes sense.
my current shit that has gotten the longest was from the worst case scenario of his lack of rescue and i feel like... i dont need to say what that was? but i think i should point out that descent has a second meaning. its not just the spiralling downward, its also the root word of descendant. that was my feeling about the poetry of it.
so ill say i do feel like im in the danger zone of being fucking murdered for this but i wanna say it anyway cuz i think itll be ok. i think you guys will get it cuz ur being nice. im exploring shit and having fun. it gets raw, it gets hard, but its working out.
so i started writing this au as "ok so heres a scene where raph is just hanging out w casey, hes trying to tell her to control her anger, and theyre fighting a bit. and he fucking flashes back and realized hes a csa victim. let the story unravel from there"
and im currently in the. insane writing area of "what if ur presumed aborted kids come back from the future/pocket dimension to take care of u cuz theyre like 30 and have coped w what they are and know you have no adults around who give a shit. and theyre amazing and kind and want to help you."
shits.......... gone off the rails. idk what else to say. i am having fun exploring insanity and seeing if i can reign it in. if i didnt do that i wouldnt have come up w half the shit i have. so like. uh. idk if youll see anything of said thing okay. its weird i know it is. but honestly i feel like the insanity and seeing how real i can make it feel, how i can parse feelings over it is working well. maybe this all sounds spoilery or weird. i was really thinking "ill just draw out things chronologically" but im struggling with that for some reason. but this au is on my mind uh 24/7 and its good to just be like "ok, heres where my head is at, if thats not what you wanna hear about it the unfollow button is right there"
but i also feel like ive been OVERLY POINTING OUT. that this isnt a story for kids. so please try not to judge me too harshly. its just a fucking.... how insane can i go and tell you about it thing. i guess.
idk if anyone else experiences this, but im SO bad at like picturing a characters voice when im reading something, like i guess some people can just automatically hear character voices of what theyre reading but it doesnt happen naturally for me at all so i always end up reading everything in my own voice.. but if im reading fanfiction or a book with a show/movie adaptation, i like to look up clips and try to listen to the characters voice while reading it so i can picture it better, and suddenly the text has SOOOO much more impact with the right voice.. i feel like this is gonna sound stupid or like common sense but i swear i just feel like im missing out because it doesnt have the same effect when i read it how i normally do..
very specifically talking about saiki, because he has such a specific tone and i just can't replicate it in my head no matter how hard i try, so whenever im reading the manga or a fic, i gotta listen to clips of him talking because the experience is so. much. better.
haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
there's Some things that i don't completely agree with personally, like attributing the Third sin to Materialism rather than Connection (i'd argue that the Ancients had no big issue with being materialistic, considering their golden attires and such- and that going with Connection overall better addresses both the core of Materialism and relationships overall) and then attributing the word Dynasty specifically to asian cultures but that's more history/word definition beef more than anything djgklsjlcgjkd
oh how i'd love to have a debate with this guy about Ancients...
btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
Now. I’m not saying that fans of The Amazing Devil tend to be a touch, shall we say, obsessive, BUT….
If I may direct you to a side-by-side comparison of the Spotify Wrapped data for my siblings vs. me:
Sibling 1 Top Artist
Minutes listened: 2,671
Her Placement: Top 0.5% of Listeners
Total Monthly Listeners: 15 Million
Sibling 2 Top Artist
Minutes listened: 4,635
Their Placement: Top 0.01% of Listeners
Total Monthly Listeners: 10 Million
My Top Artist (The Amazing Devil)
Minutes listened: 14,003
My Placement: Top 0.1% of Listeners
Total Monthly Listeners: 241,710
Y’all…. The math ain’t mathing! I listened to TAD 3X more than Sibling 2 listened to their Top Artist, and that artist has 20X as many monthly listeners. How is their listener ranking higher than mine? By a factor of TEN?
Overall I’m just deeply impressed by the determination, the gumption, the sheer force of will that TAD fans apparently have.
Idk what they put in that music, but I’m reasonably sure it’s changing our collective brain chemistry.
ok i have so many thoughts about round 6 still in my head and i need to let it out so
I like to think that Ivan knows how unimportant he is to Till and how he is never in his mind/sight at all so when he attacked Till to guarantee his own death, he chose to squeeze his neck JUST cause Till could look at him this once and last time (just like the kiss hehe)
I think Ivan almost lost it when choking out Till and choking on his blood is what snapped him out of actually killing Till,,,,
cause like,,,, it's like,, it would be so easy to take Till with him but nah, he doesn't love Ivan back and he knows it damn well, so he lets Till go. He's selfish like Sua but him dying for Till here isn't the same as Sua dying for Mizi, cause Till doesn't replicate his feelings, he's just here to show his love cause he's got nothing to lose
OK SIDE NOTE: I LOVE THE LITTLE PECK AFTER HE SAW THE VOTES AND BEING SURE THAT HES GONNA DIE, ITS LIKE A KISS GOODBYE😭😭😭😭
Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!
I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.
I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️