thesaintofnevergettingitright

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

"When the sword was thrust into the stone, the ancient king foretold that one day it would be freed again, at a time when Camelot needed it most. The man who freed it would unite the land of Albion and rule over the greatest kingdom the world has ever known."

Merlin & Arthur | 4.13 "The Sword in the Stone - Part 2"

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Hello! Would love to request 35 and/or 26 form the intimacy prompts if you are so moved!!! Your writing is incredible, btw!!! 💖

intimacy prompts - play fighting + running your finger down their spine

“Do you think I'm making a mistake?”

“Mistake?”

”This.“ Buck waves a hand around them. “This place, this house. You don’t think I—”

The light in the kitchen flickers. Eddie winces. Buck sighs, tipping his head forward.

They’re sitting on the floor in the middle of the empty living room, trading slow sips from a half crushed water bottle. Eddie can feel his t-shirt sticking to his back despite the AC humming uselessly in the corner. The air is thick with the smell of sweat and fresh paint—evidence of their long day’s work.

The light flickers again. Buck lets out a quiet sound of defeat.

“Hang on.” Eddie braces a hand on the floor, ready to push himself up to stand. “Let me see if I can—”

“No, don’t.” Buck swats his arm gently. "I’ll, uh, I’ll check it again tomorrow,” he says. “But this is exactly what I’m saying. You don’t think I—I don’t know, rushed into this too quickly?”

Eddie shifts, the floorboards beneath him creaking.

Truth is, he does think Buck rushed into this. Hell, he didn’t even tell Eddie before signing the lease. But he gets it. It's not like Eddie’s been the master of communication lately. And it was a good deal, objectively speaking. Eddie didn’t really catch the details, just that the owners were desperate enough to overlook Buck’s disaster of a credit score and rent the place out for him for half its worth. The catch being that has to fix everything up himself.

And yeah, there’s still a hell of a lot to fix, but this is exactly the kind of place Eddie can see Buck making his own. It’s a little old, a little small, but it’s charming—big windows, nice hardwood floors. There’s even a small garden in the back he’s sure Buck will take care of, coax it into something alive and beautiful.

And if Eddie’s chest aches a little remembering the way Buck lit up when he first told him he’d found himself the perfect place—well. Some things you just have to carry quiet.

“Why do you think that?” he asks, realizing Buck is still waiting for an answer.

“Just something Maddie said.”

“Maddie said it’s a mistake?” Eddie frowns.

“Not in so many words but I think she thinks—I don’t know. It just feels like it’s what I’m supposed to do, you know? The next big step. Except now it’s starting to feel a little like—like one step forward two steps back with this place.”

Which, yeah, it’s exactly what fixing up an old, broken house feels like. Eddie could have told him that earlier, if Buck had bothered—

Doesn’t matter.

Eddie reaches for the water bottle and takes a long gulp, tries not to think about his lips being right where Buck’s were mere minutes ago.

“I think,” Eddie starts slowly, testing the words as he says them. “I think if this is what you want, it’ll be good for you.”

Buck is quiet for a few moments, eyes fixed on the wall in front of them, quite literally watching the paint dry.

”I don't know what I want,” he admits finally, voice small.

“You don’t?”

Buck exhales—something between a sigh and a humorless laugh. “No, that's a lie.” He flops back onto the floor, covering his eyes with his forearm. “I know what I want,” he says. “I just thought it would feel different, that it would be easier somehow, you know? But it’s just me, moving into another place that doesn’t feel—“

Doesn’t feel like home.

Eddie opens his mouth, but Buck speaks first.

“Living in your house felt easy.” He shifts his legs like he’s trying to get comfortable but can’t quite manage it.

Eddie’s eyes catch on a smudge of paint on Buck’s inner thigh—light green, right under the hem of his shorts. His fingers itch to scrub it clean, reveal that extra bit of skin. He takes another long sip of water instead.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“I mean not at first, but I think that was mostly about—“ Buck exhales, sharp through his nose. “About missing you guys.”

Buck curls in slightly, arms folding around his middle and something clicks. Buck doesn’t want this. Buck just doesn’t know he’s allowed to want anything else.

And Eddie—Eddie needs to tell him. Needs to say something.

He leans back on his elbows, close enough where he doesn’t need to speak too loud. “We really missed you too, you know,” he says, before lying all the way down next to Buck.

“You did?”

“Of course we did,” Eddie says, then adds, “I did.”

“I didn’t know that.“

Eddie breathes out a short laugh. “Jesus, Buck. Were the twenty FaceTimes a day not enough of a clue?”

“It’s not like we never FaceTimed before Texas.”

Eddie laughs again. “You know I hate to stroke your ego—“ (A lie. He absolutely loves stroking Buck’s ego.) “But I was kind of a mess. I was already a mess before, as you’re well aware, but I didn’t realize how hard it would be—not seeing you. And I should have told you that but—“

“Why didn’t you?” Buck asks, like it's that simple.

Eddie shrugs. “Could ask you the same thing.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“I—“ Buck pauses. “I don’t think I can tell you that.”

“I think you can. Think you can tell me anything,” Eddie says. And he means it. There isn’t a single thing in the world Buck could tell him that he wouldn’t want to hear.

Buck shifts a little closer, nudging Eddie’s arm. “How about you tell me something first?” There’s an unexpected challenge in his voice. It makes Eddie feel light, all of a sudden. Giddy almost.

“Okay, I—okay.” Eddie bites back a smile, mouth twisting as he searches of something to say. “Remember that time my car was at the garage and I had to carpool to work with you?”

“Of course I do. You should really find another mechanic, by the way. Changing a tail light should not take a full week.”

“It didn’t.”

Buck frowns, brows drawn together in confusion. “What?”

“They fixed it the next day. I just…kept delaying picking it up. I liked it. You driving me around.”

Buck looks at him like he’s trying to make sense of a puzzle that doesn’t add up.

“You’re lying,” he says, squinting a little. It’s cute.

“Am I?”

“Eddie. You realize that’s insane, right? You could have just asked me to drive you.”

“Hey, at least I let you pick the music,” Eddie grins, propping himself up to reach for the water bottle.

Buck reaches for it at the same time. Their hands collide and the bottle tips, water splashing across the floor.

“Oh, come on,” Buck laughs. “Look what you did.”

“What I did?” Eddie shoots back, brows lifting. “Pretty sure it was your grabby hands.”

“What, these?” Buck wiggles his fingers before lunging straight for Eddie’s ribs.

Eddie jerks, laughing. He tries to squirm away, but Buck is right there, jabbing at his sides. He catches Buck’s wrists and pushes him back. Buck tries to wiggle free but Eddie just holds on tighter. He rolls half on top of him and pins both his hands to his chest.

“Your turn,” he says, breathless and grinning.

“My turn?” Buck asks, watching the way Eddie’s fingers curl around his wrists.

“Yes. Tell me something.”

Buck shakes his head, laughing a little. “Oh, is that the game we’re playing now?”

“He’s finally catching up.” Eddie lets go and lies back down beside him, closer than before.

“Dick.” Buck punches him lightly on the shoulder. “Okay, let me think…”

Buck drums his fingers on his chest, deep in thought, and Eddie thinks this feels a lot like being a teenager—young and in love, lying in the back of his dad’s old pickup truck. Sweaty palms, racing heart, telling himself to just kiss her already.

He’s not so sixteen anymore. And instead of gazing up at the stars, they’re staring at a flaky, water-stained ceiling. But everything else hits just the same.

He glances over at Buck. “Thought of something yet?” he asks, voice softer now.

Buck nods. “I uh—“ He clears his throat. “I stole your laundry detergent.”

Eddie barks out a laugh, running his hands over his face. “You what?”

“I’m sorry, okay? We were packing your stuff and I—I panicked and I sort of…hid it.”

“You hid it,” Eddie repeats, delighted. “Was there… a reason for this?”

“Yes! No. I don’t know. I just—I like how it smells.” Buck has gone completely pink. “And I didn’t think you’d notice if I took it, which—you didn’t, by the way.”

“Uh huh.”

“I thought it would be nice, you know? If I could keep that smell around the house.”

“I guess that’s fair,” Eddie says.

“Yeah? You don’t think it’s weird?”

“Oh, it’s weird as hell, man.” Eddie shifts a little closer, presses his shoulder against Buck’s. “But who am I to judge?”

They’re both quiet for a moment, just breathing together.

“Hey, it’s your turn,” Buck says eventually. And if they weren’t lying so close together, maybe Eddie would have missed the way his voice cracks just the tiniest bit. But he doesn’t.

He takes a deep breath and starts talking. “Remember that day we made plans to go hiking but it was like—” He chuckles softly, “the universe had other plans?“ He shifts onto his side to face Buck.

Buck catches the movement, mirrors him.

“I thought you didn’t believe in The Universe,” he mocks.

Eddie rolls his eyes and continues. “We kept getting distracted and then it started raining and then Chris’s school called to tell me he was sick…”

Buck nods, smiling at the memory. “You went to pick him up and I went to get pizza.”

“You ended up spending the whole day on the couch with us. I think Chris forgot he wasn’t feeling well by the end of the night.” The kitchen light flickers again, but Eddie doesn’t look away. He’s too busy watching the blue of Buck’s eyes. “That was the first time I realized I wanted to kiss you.”

Buck draws in a sharp breath. “That was over a year ago.”

“I know.”

It’s terrifying. Too big. Life altering. But it’s also so, so incredibly easy.

“Do you still want to?”

“Kiss you?” Eddie chuckles, low and a little breathless. He can’t help the way his gaze flickers to Buck’s mouth. “Every day.”

“You should.”

“Yeah?” Eddie murmurs, voice dropping. Their knees knock together as he shifts closer.

It’s Buck who leans in first. The kiss starts slow, searching, soft lips moving together. Then Eddie groans into his mouth, and something shifts. His hand slips under the hem of Buck’s shirt, fingers spreading over warm skin. Buck pulls him in harder, lips parting like he’s starving for it. Like he’s been waiting too.

Eddie pushes even closer, knee wedged firmly between Buck’s thighs, their hips nearly flushed. He runs a hand down Buck’s spine, nails dragging just a little bit, making Buck shudder.

“I want to share my detergent with you,” Eddie mumbles between kisses.

Buck huffs out a laugh, dazed. “What?”

“Break your lease.” A kiss to Buck’s jaw. Another to the corner of his mouth. “Move your stuff back, come live with us.”

“Eddie, I can’t just—“

“You can.” Eddie cups the side of Buck’s face, forces him to meet his eyes. “Buck, you can. If you want.”

Buck looks at him for a long beat.

“I want.”

Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, presses their foreheads together.

“Good.”

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

thinking about welly boots by tad but with Rumi and her mom. and now im crying dammit.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Merthur really have it all huh. King and lionheart dynamic. Fucking hate at first sight then speedrun to trying to die for the other. Slow burn? Never heard of her. One of them wears gloves and one doesn't and I'm not even gonna bother to explain why that is top fucking tier. Lies and secrets that could bring about the doom of the kingdom. Obviously adore each other but will actually fucking die before saying it with actual words. The prince is a gigantic asshole who doesn't know how to show care or ask for attention like a person who had healthy emotional development as a child and oscillates between pulling pigtails and acting like an over-eager puppy or both at the same time. Domesticity levels previously unheard of. They canonically wear each other's clothes. One of them makes up words and the other promptly starts using them. Both are extremely into the other's specific brand of dumbassery. Their love language is fucking playing together. "I don't want you to change" fuck this fuck everything

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

fire lord zuko and his very close friend ambassador Sokka thanks to the canadian museum of history for its archive of inuit and cree clothing that i referenced :] some beading inspired by Paatlirmiut

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Other than the horrific murders and the gaslighting and the manipulation and the pretentious dialogue and the self entitlement and the god complex, can you even think of anything Hannibal Lecter did wrong?

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

I truly adore fanfics where Hannibal is Will’s sugar daddy, but I know for a fact that man doesn’t give a fuck about designer brand clothes. I’m gonna still eat them all up, but realistically Will would get another dog

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Marbles

Making art pretty much solely about yearning right now makes be feel like an 18th century poet, call me John Keats, catch me dying of tuberculosis as age 25. And what better way to capture that experience then by basing this one off the gorgeous 1901 painting by Frank Bernard Dicksee ‘La Belle Dam Sans Merci’ named for John Keat’s poem. In the poem, the knight is left ‘Haggard and so woe-begin’ after his encounter with with the faery woman and in this I wanted to play with the concept of gender roles and who the knight is and their respective places in the original painting and poem. I feel like this one isn’t all that interesting but it’s fun and I am trying so hard to finish the full set. I so rarely finish a full collection of art, even art as simplistic as this so I’m doing anything to get it all done.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Wild Blue Yonder

Trying to bring those two separate parts of the song together while also keeping them clear and separate was honestly rough and I don’t know if I quite achieved what I was hoping for but it is certainly a look. The first few lyrics of this song just are so perfect to me amd so strangely ones that I’ve latched onto. I could have done absolutely anything from this song but this felt fitting. Only three songs to go now. fair, Elsa’s song, and my personal favourite so I’ll be keeping it till last, Battle Cries. This move is my favourite at sword fighting. It’s so aggressive and you lock eyes with your opponent in a way that is so haunting, terrifying, and adrenaline fuelled, but at the same time is so close and dumbfounding it gets be every time. This song plays like a duel, two voice battling to be understood by the other. ‘Surrender, don’t you ever wonder?”

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Fair

Fair. The song that got me into the Amazing Devil to start with. I use to think about one specific person when I heard this song, and now I think of an entirely different person. It’s funny how things shift like that. This is not where I thought I’d be in the span of eight months, but it’s not unwelcome.

This one was a tough one. I feel like every time I’d try and think of a picture for this I couldn’t. So many of those lyrics are things that perhaps I want, maybe yearn for, that create such a sense of longing, but they’re all of things I don’t have, have never had, and right now, maybe I don’t want. So I settled in the one set of lyrics that I do have. The need to Stay. The need to Comfort. The need to Support.

“Darling I was born to press my head into your shoulder blades at night when light is fading, just to let you know I’m old waylaid and feel like I am wading”

One one more song to go now. All this time, all these silly pictures to help me process my own feelings. And there’s only one song left. My favourite song. I haven’t a clue what I’ll do for it. Hell maybe I’ll never do it, but that seems unlikely. It’s nice to finally finish a set and I am incredibly emotionally attached to these.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Okayokayokay. Hear me out.

What if the 'love me anyway' gets brought back up somehow as Buck and Eddie talk. Maybe Buck says something like 'but you love me anyway' as a joke.

And Eddie is like 🤨 'I don't love you anyway?'

Cue to Buck panicking because Eddie doesn't love him?? Buck didn't mean for it to sound romantic, does Eddie think he meant it romantically? Is this Eddie rejecting him? Friend zoning him?

Meanwhile Eddie, super casual, shrugs and takes a sip of his beer before he says 'loving you anyway would mean I'd love you despite of things, that there would be reasons not to love you, which is not the case. I love you, period. Not anyways' because that man tends to say the most life changing shit acting like he's talking about the weather.

And Buck's mind just stops working because oh. Eddie loves him. There's nothing that stops Eddie from loving him. And he needs a few moments to sit with that because he's not sure if he's ever truly felt like someone felt like that.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Did anyone ever like attempt to document and compile the variations of Barney the dinosaur murder ballads across the elementary school system in the early 2000s. Like legit it has always fascinated me as a phenomena and I would love to know if there were like traceable regional variations or what.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Top 20 Merlin & Arthur scenes voted for by you #10. S04E01: “Mother’s sigil”

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Blossoms

“And I run and I run and I scream out to the sky

You do not get to hurt me just because I asked you once if you were alright”

Blossoms upon request was next on the list! This song is so dear to me as it is for so many others. Every one of these little pictures is very personal to me and they speak of my own personal emotional state in relation to the current and past friendships I have. I think the overwhelmingly fear that I am inherently a danger to those around me and that my friends are far better off if I leave them is so deep seeded in my mind that I can never seem to escape it. But now, for the first time in my life I think perhaps I can move past it, I can identify this feeling, this behaviour, this fear, and do what I do best. Utterly defy it. I am more than that fear. My friendships don’t have expiry dates. I don’t have to leave first before they leave me. I am not inherently a catalyst that destroys people. And I’m going to stay right here, I won’t leave.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Pray

The order of this is a struggle to read but I like the sheer chaos. I find this part of the song is this overwhelming disjointed and chaotic reflection of internalised feelings so I want to kind of make that clear. My head is such a mess of feelings and thoughts that I struggle to get out in any way that isn’t art or writing at the moment so this I feel is a fun little characterisation of that.

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Secret Worlds

This is one I’ve had planned for a long long time but forgot about it until I was marking off the songs I’ve done. I love the imagery in these lyrics. It evokes the most beautiful depictions of light in nature but contrasted with classic artistry. I find it fun with the description of the camera at the start of the song as I am a photographer, and I adore photographing filtered light through trees and yet the camera that I use is indeed my dads, and for that reason I had to include it.