#i understand being able to talk to people and ask questions is important but i CAN'T and you're not helping me overcome the issue

[liinos]

idk how much clearer i can make "i cannot talk to people" to my dad bc no matter how much i try to express the fact that it either makes me cry or makes my throat close up to the point that i can barely get words out + my tongue feels glued to the roof of my mouth he just tells me i'm "thinking about it wrong" and that THAT'S the problem like.... this is not a voluntary reaction. "it's over zoom so it's fine" the inperson-ness is not the issue i started crying doing a customer service chat yesterday i literally don't know how to make you understand🧍🏻‍♀️

[unluckiestmember]

Arcane x Ransom! Reader

Summary: How would the Arcane characters react if the reader was held for ransom?

Characters: Jinx/Powder, Violet "Vi", Caitlyn Kiramman, Viktor, Jayce Talis, Sevika, Silco and Licker (mention).

Warning: Slight cursing and suggestive themes/implied sexual themes.

A/N: I literally got the idea for this request from Helluva Boss, particular episode 6 of season 2. I hope you all enjoy this though, I know I did!

Powder/Jinx

“You have who?! Where are they?!… You want me to pay you for them? Oh I’ll pay you alright!”

Jinx doesn’t take the idea of you getting hurt lightly. She already is super overprotective of her little trinket, so when she heard that you were being held for a price, she wasted no time grabbing Pow-Pow, Zapper and a bunch of chompers to aid her in her “heroic rescue” for her princess/prince. As soon as she is where you are held, you don’t have to see her to know she’s there for you. Don’t expect any talking, just laughter and hollers followed by gunfire, screams for mercy and explosions.

Before you know it, the Loose Cannon is standing in front of you, pulling you into the tightest hug ever and dressing your face with kisses. She will ask you countless questions while freaking out, beating herself up over you being in such a position. But when she feels you touch her and assure her you’re okay, she’s on cloud nine. As soon as she laces the area with bombs to blow it to kingdom come, she’s back at her hideout, being super affectionate and touchy the entire night. Don’t expect anyone to be touching you for months unless they want their head blown off.

Violet “Vi”

“… What?… You… You just pissed off the wrong woman.”

First word that you were kidnapped, Vi wasted no time hunting your captors down and beating them to a bloody pulp. The woman is like a bull seeing red knowing you were somewhere cold and scared away from home and her arms. So until you were back to her, anyone was able to get a personal greeting from the pink haired fighter. Vi is pretty merciful, but in situations like this, she isn’t afraid to push the envelope by giving life threatening injuries to the bastards that hurt you.

When she found you, she didn’t bother asking any questions or giving any money to your kidnappers, unless they counted a mouthful of fists and kicks as payment enough. When she’s done with her punishment, she’ll immediately scoop you into her arms and take the both of you back home, where she checks you for injuries and asks if you are okay. Please comfort her. She may act all tough and cool, but the situation scared her due to thinking she lost you just like everyone else. As soon as she knows you are alright, she’ll promise no one will ever do that to you again.

Caitlyn Kiramman

“You kidnapped Y/N? Why would- Who do you think you are? You better let them go right now!”

Caitlyn was used to people being kidnapped on the job, having to save them or negotiate with criminals for their safety. But she would have never imagined such a thing happening to you of all people. When she was told you were being held for ransom, she understandably panicked before taking deep breaths and thinking of how to get you back to her. The enforcer can easily scrounge up the money for you to be freed, because you were more important than any coin that reaches her pockets.

So when she arranges a meeting with your kidnappers and finds you so scared, she finds it hard to stop herself from grabbing you and making a run for it. If the kidnappers pull a fast one on her though, all bets are off and bullets are flying. When she has you back, she will watch you like a hawk and be on the defensive for a while. But if you assure her enough that you are okay, she will lighten up. On the bright side, after the incident she’s more romantic and spends more time with you in and out of work.

Viktor

“Look, I’m sure we can talk about this. I’ll get you the money, just. Please don’t hurt them…”

Viktor beat himself up when he heard you were taken away from him for monetary purposes. He just doesn’t understand how he would let this happen- How he would let someone easily take you under his nose and put you in harm’s way?! He could’ve waddled in his sorrows, but he couldn’t. He had to save you and he had to act fast! It would hurt him, but he would ask for assistance from Jayce and the council if he can. And if they can’t help him? Well. Maybe it was time to break out those so-called dangerous machines Heimerdinger warned him against using.

When he finds you, he’s wasting no time trying to negotiate a way around matters so you could be freed. And if those negotiations don’t go according to plan, then he’ll use his machinery and his brain to outsmart the criminals into freeing you. When you are back together, he’ll just. Hold you. Like you are a precious gemstone. He’ll promise you this will never happen again. No one will ever lay their hands on you again…

Jayce Talis

“Is this supposed to scare me? If anything, you should be the one scared- Do you know who I am?!”

Jayce does not take threats lightly, especially when it comes to his family, friends and his loved ones. As soon as he was told you were held for Ransom, he let his anger and determination to get you back fuel him to do anything to send a message and bring you back to safety. You will immediately know your boyfriend got the message because in a matter of hours, enforcers are barging into the area you were held like they were entering a war, shooting, punching and slamming anyone who got in their way from their goal; You.

And Jayce is in the middle of it all, swinging his hammer without remorse before running to your rescue as your knight in shining armor. As soon as you grab his hand, he’s walking you back to his place casually through the enforcers destroying everything in their sights and leaving a message for the assholes that took you; Never. Ever. Touch the councilman’s lover. Don’t expect to go anywhere without guards following you if Jayce isn’t, whether you want to or not. Jayce just can’t take the chance for you to be taken again. Is it extreme? Yes. But it was worth it.

Sevika

“Ransom? Seriously? Please, that’s nothing. And I’m about to show you why.”

When it comes to ransom, Sevika wasn’t new to having her friends or past lovers be kidnapped for money. So when she heard you were being held hostage, she casually grabbed her poncho, fixed her arm for a brawl and headed outside to round her co-workers up. When she found you and the ones that took you, she wasted no time kicking in the doors and sicking her co-workers on everyone before she made her way towards you after knocking some skulls in. She’ll ask if you are okay and especially check you for any injuries before grabbing you and joking how you found yourself in this predicament.

The fight rages on as soon as she places you outside for safety. Saving you wasn’t enough. No, she needed everyone to know that when someone messes with you, they have to deal with her and the rest of Zaun. When everything is over and done, Sevika will take you both back home and treat any injuries you want before kissing your cheek and simply talking as if you weren’t kidnapped to begin with. If you think she doesn’t care, then hoo boy. The way she’ll treat you that night in bed will make you think otherwise.

Silco

“Hmm… If I were you, I’d beg for mercy when I get there…”

Silco is never one to be threatened because he’s always the one making the threats. Hearing about you being held for Ransom made him immediately go on the move to round up Sevika to follow him in bringing you back to him. If he gets there and doesn’t find you anywhere, he will deliver a silent signal to bring the house down. But if you are present, then he won’t need violence to be delivered by his Right Hand. He’ll just need to put the fear of gods into your kidnapper.

He’ll paint them a picture of how he’ll find their families and let them listen to the melody of their bones breaking. How he’ll have Licker carve paintings into their bodies and let them choke on their own blood as they beg for mercy. What do they think of that? They wouldn’t like that at all. As a matter of fact, they would hate it so much that they would release you and fade from existence right there. As soon as you are back to Silco, he’s going to take you back home as if this was only a minor inconvenience. But as soon as you two are behind closed doors, he can’t help from keeping his hands to himself and make promises against your skin.

If you have any requests for Arcane, X-Men '97 or Blue Eye Samurai, send them my way!

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay safe, stay hydrated and have a good day!

[irndad]

Hi, I’m so sorry, I searched for request guidelines and must be missing them so if this isn’t something you write I apologize-

Flower prompt heliotrope with Spencer where reader sacrifices herself/or gets shot to save Maeve so Spencer can be happy, even though she’s hopelessly in love with him. 🥹

Little angst, little fluff. You can decide if reader fully sacrifices or just gets really badly hurt and how Spencer reacts.

my dear!! there are no rules yet- i have things i won't fill but thus far the onus has been on me to clarify. i had so much fun writing this- thank you for requesting it!!! requests r open :^) wc: 1.1k

“Is Maeve okay?”

It’s the first thing she says when she wakes up from her hospital bed. Spencer’s shaking, a little woozy too. It turns out that they have the same blood type, and she lost a whole fucking lot of it. He’d been happy to give it to her, although ‘happy’feels like the wrong word to use in this situation. 

She had internal bleeding, and collapsed harshly from the gunshot, scuffing her forehead so badly she needed stitches. Comparatively, it’s the least of her worries, but still- Spencer can’t stop staring at it. She’s literally marred by the choice she made to protect him. 

Maeve is okay. She’s in the same hospital, but Spencer’s spent about ten minutes with her- the rest of the last 12 hours of his life were spent oscillating between donating blood and praying to a deity he’s not sure exists. 

She’d survived. They’d both survived. He should feel relieved- why doesn’t he feel relieved?

It’s a stupid question that he keeps asking himself. Two of the most important people in his life are alive, but still in the moment, her blood spilling over him- the gasp of her breath when the bullet hit her- He’s going to remember the sound of it forever, what it sounded like for her to almost die for someone else. He hates that she’s the type of person to do it. To jump in front of a loaded gun for a woman she’s never met before. 

He’s mad at her. He has no right to be- he gets a chance with Maeve now, and that’s all due to the choice she made. And yet- he’s so, so angry at her. Because she could be dead right now. He could never, ever talk to her again. She made a choice that meant that he might have never been able to hear her voice, do a magic trick for her, ever, ever be near her again. How the fuck could she do that to him?

“Yes,” he replies, “she’s okay.”

She nods agreeably, before wincing at what appeared to be an intense ache at her temples. 

“My head hurts,” she says, her voice low and endearing, and his heart roars with protectiveness. “Do you think I could have a juice box?”

She’s so sweet- he wants to laugh, in a sad desperate kind of way. This is his favorite person in the world, sitting up shakily and asking for juice, clearly groggy and so endearing. He almost lost her. 

“You’re okay too,” he says, “If you’re wondering. You scared us. You had internal bleeding and a concussion. You lost a lot of blood.”

It’s only then she frowns. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she pouts, trying to sit up and speak to him. “But it all worked out, Spence. She’s okay.”

“It didn’t all work out!” Her eyes widen at his outburst, and he feels like scum. Yelling at her when she’s in a hospital bed, taking a bullet so he’d have a chance at romance. 

“You said she’s okay,” she says back, slowly. “I don’t understand.”

“You lost blood. You almost died. That is not it working out. You have to tell me you understand that.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so harsh, but he also doesn’t know why he has to explain this to her. 

“I know,” she sighs, “I know. But this is the job, and I didn’t have time to get a vest on!”

“Then you wait. You wait. You don’t just burst in-“

“And you would’ve lost the love of your life!”

“What makes you think she’s the love of my life?”

A nurse shuffles by the room and Spencer takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to be kicked out of her room, and on some level he knows how crazy it is to be yelling at a gunshot victim. He pinches his nose, eyes winced in frustration. 

She’s been his favorite person by a wide margin for an incredibly long time. She joined the team as a consultant and he remembers the first time he did a card trick for her- the first time he’d fallen asleep on her shoulder. He was so grateful to know her. Still is. In this moment, knowing feels like time slipping out from an hourglass- like it was almost numbered. Their time was almost finished. 

Maeve was lovely. Maeve listened and she was kind and Spencer really did like her. He’s glad she’s safe, now. But his best friend, his coworker and favorite person- Spencer thought everyone could tell that he’s been in love with the team consultant since the first week he knew her. 

Everything he liked about Maeve reminded him of her. 

And she’d jumped in front of a bullet for someone she thought he was in love with. And fuck, maybe he did love her in some way- but whatever ‘in love’ meant with Maeve, this sorrow, the pain of knowing she’d almost been someone he’d have to remember was far, far deeper. 

“You’ve never mentioned anyone to me romantically. I’ve known you for years, Spencer. She’s important to you.”

Maeve is. She was. It’s all so confusing now. He has liked someone for years, though. He couldn’t tell her, though. Maeve was a welcome distraction from a love he thought was wholly impractical and impossible to love him back— a love that now he has to witness languish in a hospital bed. 

Morgan knew. Morgan would tease him every time Spencer drew a smiley face in purple marker on her coffee cup. He would tell him to just ask her out, and it had always felt so improbable. She’d never go for someone as lanky and uncharismatic as him. 

“You’re important to me.” 

She has no idea how much. 

Her eyes soften at that, and not for the first time, he wants to curl into her arms. He wants to lay next to her in the hospital bed, and feel her pulse beat against bare skin. Feel her pulse and with every beat know that she is alive. 

“I know that, Spence,” she breathes out.

Even though it’s not kosher, not necessarily the right thing to do when your not-girlfriend/girl you went on one date with is in the same hospital, but when his best friend opens up her arms for a hug, he ends up doing exactly what he wanted. 

The team finds her asleep in her hospital bed, with Spencer asleep in her arms. It feels voyeuristic to look at, but Spencer really, really couldn’t care. 

He resolved to tell her that he loves her as soon as she’s healed. With the way Morgan side eyes him every time he ‘helps’ her walk across a room by holding her waist, he’s not sure he’ll last that long. 

[aggieslittlebunny]

PLEASE TALK TO ME

MEN/MINORS DNI!!!

Pairing: University Student!Reader x Older!gf!Wanda

Summary: Reader’s life has always been hard, but as of late, it seems to be extremely harder for you. Your girlfriend, Wanda, is always ready to support you, but you push her away as your condition is getting worse and things escalate.

Trigger Warnings/Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, contain heavy/sensitive topic, mental illness, depressed reader, anxious reader, negative self-talk, self-harm, suicide attempt, suffering reader, reader have suspicion of being an ADHDer (but doesn’t get diagnosed). You have been warned, so don’t read this fic if there is a chance that you might get triggered, no matter how small the chance is. Please never hesitate to reach out to someone close to you or any professional help if you’re struggling mentally. You matter <3

Author Note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any gramatical and spelling errors ^^

Word Count: 3.5k

Life has been hard for you lately, much harder than usual. You can’t exactly tell since when this has happened and the reasons behind it. Being a university student has always been a challenge. To be completely honest, despite getting A- for most of the courses you had, you always feel like you barely survived. Other students appear to be able to understand whatever topic the professors deliver right away. Besides that, it seems very easy for them to raise their hands and ask questions. Meanwhile, you? You can barely sit through three and a half hours of each lecture, let alone be focused throughout the whole thing. Being glued to the classroom chair for that long feels so horrible. Oftentimes, you think of excusing yourself to the restroom, but you are way too anxious to do that. All you can do is shift yourself in your seat every once in a while, but you can’t do that too much either because then people will notice how fidgety you are. You will attract unwanted attention.

Speaking of unwanted attention and being anxious, those are why it’s hard for you to ask questions during lectures. You don’t like having people’s eyes on you. You also keep asking yourself “what if my question is strange?” or “what if my question doesn’t make sense?” right after your brain makes a question, which gets you stuck in your head and prevents you from being an active student. That doesn’t mean you never ask questions. You pushed yourself to do that sometimes. You need to keep up with other students after all. But you truly despise it. You don’t like the feeling of your hands becoming clammy and how your heart beats very fast, making you breathe heavily.

Before you ask a question, you need to come up with one. That is also a problem for you since you believe that you have a short attention span. Your brain loves to wander, even when all you want to do is focus. You can pay attention to the professors’ voice and write down the important information you want to keep, but before you realize it, your train of thoughts are somewhere else and your hand has already stopped writing minutes ago. You have a lot of questions in your head, but you are afraid that they actually have been discussed and you just weren’t paying attention. You believe that you will look or sound ridiculous.

Your older girlfriend, Wanda, is aware of your struggles, but you haven't told her everything. You just let her know some bits without much detail. She is the most supportive girlfriend you have ever had. Well, she is your first girlfriend so that statement can’t be wrong. Seriously though, she is very supportive and sweet to you. You love her so much and will do anything to make her stay, even if that means hiding most of your problems and keeping your negative feelings bottled up.

You have been doing such a good job hiding how you feel in front of Wanda— and everyone. Thinking of people worried about you filled you with guilt, so you tend to just put on a happy or at least neutral look on your face. These past few weeks, your mask slowly cracks. Wanda started to notice the empty look in your eyes (no matter what expression you are making), the bag under your eyes, the forced cheerful tone escaping your lips, how you space out more frequently, how you seem to avoid people including her, and other behavior changes from you. Everytime she asks how you are doing, you will simply tell her that you’re fine, maybe a little tired. She knows you are not, but she doesn’t want to put pressure onto you and keep praying that you will open up soon. She keeps waiting and waiting. A couple of months passed and you seem to be getting worse. This makes her persuade you harder to tell her what is going on, but no matter how hard she tries, you never tell her the truth. You keep denying her that you are behaving really off and telling her that she is just overthinking.

“Sweetheart, you know that you can talk to me about anything at any time, right?” Wanda randomly blurts. Both of you are currently sitting on a bench in a park, eating ice cream while watching people minding their own business.

“Mmhm.”  you replied shortly with a faint positive tone. You can feel her gaze pointed at you, but you decide to keep your eyes watching a little girl laughing with her parents as they play catch with their dog.

“I’m sorry to keep bringing this up. I can’t help but be worried about you, baby. The more time passes, the more I notice how you seem to not be doing well. You don’t need to pretend that you’re okay in front of me. I want you to rely on me. I might not be able to solve all of your problems, but I will always be with you. We can face this together if you let me. You’re not alone. Please tell me what is going on.” one of her hands reaches yours. You look at Wanda the moment she holds your hand.

“I’m alright, seriously. Maybe I'm just a little bit tired. The finals week is getting near and I need to be ready for that. I don’t want to fall behind. Thank you for caring about me, but can we not talk about this right now? Maybe we can talk about it later, just… not now.”

“Okay, baby. I understand. Do you want to grab some lunch after this?”

A day after that, you suddenly stopped meeting Wanda. Most calls from her are ignored by you. The ones you picked up never last longer than five minutes. You told her that you need to focus on your study, but Wanda doubts that. She knows from one of your friends that you have been skipping a bunch of lectures. She considered visiting you in your dorm, but you always refused whenever she asked for your permission. You gave her a hard no right away, every single time, no consideration. She tries to respect your decision, but it is getting harder each day for her, and unbeknownst to her, for you either. You are getting worse and it is actually out of her expectation and imagination.

Now it has been three weeks since you stopped meeting Wanda. She always waits for any message from you that appears to be sent to her less and less as the days pass. Today she hasn’t received any. She is beyond worried, but she also knows that you are having finals this week. The semester ends soon and she hopes she will be able to hang out with you again since you will have lots of free time for a month. She gave you some space since she thought that is what you need. She tries to act chill about it, but each buzz coming from her phone never fails to make her jolt. She will check her phone right away and gets disappointed when she doesn’t see your name (or ‘my baby’ since she set your contact as that) on her notifications.

She heard from you on Friday. It is almost midnight, but she can’t sleep unless she does her daily reading before bed. Therefore, there she is. She is sitting comfortably in her bed, her back against the headboard, and there is an open book in her hand. It was peaceful until her phone buzzed. When she takes a glance at her phone, she swiftly picks it up and opens a message from you. You sent her a link. That link leads her to a letter written by you. Her eyes scan each word carefully. You are thanking her for being a wonderful girlfriend. As Wanda keeps reading, she hopes that you are just giving her a sweet letter of appreciation. Deep inside, she fears that you are breaking up with her, but she tries not to judge quickly since it is a pretty lengthy letter and she barely reaches the quarter part of it.

“When you are reading this, I have done something stupid.”

Wanda freezes for a solid ten seconds. After that, she stands up and runs to her car. She forgets her car keys so she sprints back in to grab it and then she leaves her house with her car. She left her house unlocked and she is still wearing her pajamas, but those are none of her concern right now. Her head chanting your name as well as prayers that you are safe. As she drives, she continues reading your letter. Her eyes moved from her screen to the road repeatedly until she finished reading it. After that she completely focuses on the road and might have crossed the speed limit several times. She reached your dorm room in twenty minutes, thanks to one of your close friends that is still awake and messaged her the number of your room.

She expected that she would have to break the door open, but she was wrong. The door isn’t locked. She knows right away that it was left like that by you on purpose. You told her so many times that you always lock your door twice because you’re afraid of the possibility that a stranger can get into your room easily. The sound of her footsteps echoes in your room. Your room is dark, but there is light from the sideroad lamp slipping through your window. She saw the lump of your body covered with your favorite blanket in your bed and she approached you in a hurry. She cradles your face in her palms. She noticed your irregular breathing and that you are breathing through your mouth. She also quickly noticed that there is a kind of chemical smell coming out from your mouth. Her hand reached the phone in her pocket and she dialed the emergency number, asking for an ambulance. It will take around ten minutes for it to arrive.

Just when she is about to wake you up, she accidentally knocks over a mug on your bedside table. It is now on the ground and the liquid inside it seeps into the rug. At first she thought it was tea, but after a quick sniff into the air, she realized that it is not tea or at least not just tea. The smell is exactly the same as what is coming out from your mouth. She checked the water bottle that was sitting beside the mug. She remembers how you brought the bottle with you all the time. It has such a bold pink color and there is a picture of a rabbit saying ‘life is beautiful’ on it. She opens the bottle and at first glance it looks like it’s filled with normal water, but the somewhat gray look as well as the strong chemical scent said otherwise. Shortly after that, her eyes spot a little trash can near the bed. She noticed some tissues covered with blood as well as an empty bug spray can.

“Shit.” she thought.

“Baby? Baby, wake up. Please. Can you hear me?” Wanda tries to wake you up with panic in her voice. She pulls your blanket away to take a look at your arms and wrists. She found nothing. But a second later she saw some dried blood prints on your shorts, the left thigh part to be exact. After that, she taps your cheek and shakes your body firmly which elicits a groan from you.

“I’m sorry, Wanda. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” You replied faintly. It is clear that you are slipping in and out of consciousness.

“Shh, you will be okay. There is nothing to be sorry for; I’m not mad at you. I love you very much. Please don’t go back to sleep. Stay with me, sweetie. I’ll get you to the hospital. The ambulance is coming.”

The paramedic comes soon after that and you are brought to the hospital. The emergency room is very cold and quiet. Maybe not that quiet since you hear people’s voices, but everything is so faint and blurry to you. After you get treated, Wanda is allowed to see you. She sees you smiling a little and she smiles back as she walks closer towards you.

You start telling her what has been happening in your life. Wanda sits on the hospital bed that you occupied, holding your hand as she hears your story. You tell her that you always feel so different throughout your life. You always feel like you are always in a race to keep up with other people around you. It gets harder and harder, especially with the fact that you’re a student in a top university. You tell her that since you get into university, your life is way messier than before. Keeping up with other students almost feels impossible. You try and try and try, but it is never enough. You are never satisfied and you feel like you are the most stupid student compared to other students in the same year as you.

Your grades might say different things, but there are endless efforts to get those grades. You are a procrastinator, but it is not because you don’t want to do your responsibility. Most of the time, you just can’t. Your body and brain won’t function the way you want them to and you despise that part of yourself because that makes you feel lazy. But you also barely get any sleep to finish your assignments, prepare your part in group assignments, and sometimes you cover your friend’s part or any extra part. That caused you to sleep like three hours a day. Some days four, the other days two, and this rarely happens but you can go two or three days without sleep. You have been living with this terrible sleep schedule for three years now. All you want is to be like other students. You’re scared of falling behind. You know you will not survive by yourself so you want your classmates to be able to rely on you on group projects. You want as many classmates as possible to like you. 

“I’m so tired, Wanda. I’m exhausted.” You sighed painfully.

You proceed to tell her how your head was slowly becoming evil to you. It’s never peaceful in your head. Different things are piling up inside it. They’re messy piles and your brain seems to insist on unpacking them all at the same time. You can feel the chaos within your body and mind. The chaos streaming in your blood makes you want to curl up and disappear. Then it’s getting worse. Your brain started telling you various negative things:

“No one likes you.”

“Your friends hate you. They talk about you behind your back”

“You’re a terrible person.”

You began to believe those things. Watching your friends surrounding a table in the cafeteria leads you to think that they were talking shitty stuff about you. Especially after a friend of yours noticed that you were crying in front of the class but said nothing. After that, you started to spend lots of time hiding in the restroom stall to cry, usually before class. You were terrified by people around you and your own brain. Then you seek out some help. You reached out to a counselor provided by your university. You confessed to her about the problems you have been having as of late, and talking helps, but not much. Your brain is still very mean to you. At some point you really want to know what is going on with you. You desperately want an explanation on why you feel so different compared to others since you were a little kid. You dived into the internet, researching stuff based on your struggles. You are very sure that you’re suffering from depression, maybe even anxiety. But you believe that there is something more. After weeks of researching, you have a suspicion that you might have ADHD. You read some books, watched lots of videos, and asked some of your online friends who are ADHDer. 

“I can never be sure until I get a proper diagnosis and I can’t get a diagnosis from a counselor. But if my counselor can at least agree with my suspicion, I assume it will be easier for me to get actual diagnosis. Therefore I talked about it with her, my counselor. I didn’t explicitly say to her that I think I might have ADHD. Instead, I tell her my life experiences that relate to the symptoms. At one point she cut my story.”

“Aren’t you just lazy?” the words your counselor threw at you echo in your brain.

“Am I just lazy, Wanda? Please tell me it’s not true. I’m trying. I always try! Please believe me! I-”

Wanda instantly cups your face in her hands and rests her forehead against yours.

“Breathe, sweetie. Deep breath. I’m with you. You’re not lazy. Not at all. You have been trying your best. I know it, baby.”

“It’s so painful! It feels like she throws away my self-image I’ve been building all my life. The sleepless nights… The notes covering my dorm walls…” you take a sharp breath and continue, “Even as a kid, my parents pushed me so hard to study. In elementary school, they will make me study until midnight during test weeks. In middle school I fell behind, but managed to push myself so that I could get into a good highschool. I push myself all the time to keep up with everybody else. Maybe I also do it so my parents will keep loving me. To them, my grades define who I am. They expect so much from me. It hurts…” you cry at the last two words and Wanda embraces you in a warm hug.

“The day when my counselor said that, I walked back to my dorm room with tears streaming down my face. I sobbed as I walked, maybe some strangers saw me in that state, but I was in too much agony to care. I stopped seeking out help from anyone. I just want to know why I am the way I am. But I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand feeling so different than anyone else. I also throw that suspicion away. I can’t face it since then.” you pushed Wanda away gently to look at her face. You can see tenderness in her eyes. How can you be so lucky to have her?

“I guess that pushed me further to this point. I didn’t get any help. I pushed myself even harder. I carried way much more stuff than I can handle. Last week, I constantly had my nose bleeding. That keeps going for like five days. I hurt myself too several times. It’s like I’m literally sacrificing my blood, sweat, and tears to survive. Then my head started telling me harmful stuff and questioning my worth of living.”

“Why are you still trying?”

“Why are you here?”

“Why don’t you just kill yourself?”

“You should just kill yourself.”

“You should kill your family members too. They are in danger and you need to end their lives to save them.”

“I’m terrified, Wanda! I’m scared! I’m scared of myself so much. You have no idea. That’s why I ended up here. I thought this was the only way to fix this. I’m so sorry…”

“Baby…” a tear runs down Wanda’s cheek and she leaves a kiss on top of your head before speaking up again, “Thank you for telling me this, sweetheart. I know there is still so much left unsaid and I know you’re telling me as much as you can at this moment. Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m not mad at you. I’m not angry. I’m not disappointed. But may I know why you kept telling me that you’re fine on those days?”

“I’m afraid that I will become a burden and you will think that I’m too much and…”

“I will leave you?” you nod.

“I'm sorry, Wanda. I truly am sorry.”

“Stop that, baby. It’s fine now. You will get proper help after this and I will always support you. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s take it slow, yeah?” you nod once again and pull her into a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

Wanda’s hand begins to stroke your hair lovingly, “Please never hesitate to tell me anything in the future. You can stay at my place when your head is being very mean to you. In fact you can stay at my place anytime. I won’t mind seeing your little cute face every morning, I would love that. We can work on your sleep schedule together and maybe find a study method that suits you. I know it’s not easy and you’ve been struggling very hard by yourself, but you don’t have to do that anymore. You don’t have to be by yourself. You have me. I got you, sweetheart.”

“What did I do to deserve you, Wands?”

“You don’t need to do anything to be loved by me. I love you, more than you know.”

“I love you too. I love you to the moon and back.”

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

alhaitham and kaveh as 'friends' - full circle

kaveh lying and using ‘his friend’ as a scapegoat for supposedly taking his plans is so um INTERESTING!! given his past references to Alhaitham, and that he was just talked with Alhaitham the scene before, this reads as a direct reference to Alhaitham, meaning that their relationship has come full circle from where we were initially introduced to kaveh

in the archon quest, paimon asks if Alhaitham and kaveh are friends, to which Alhaitham deflects, denoting a negative

but they are denied a friendship status definitively in alhaitham’s story quest where paimon directly asks kaveh if Alhaitham and he are friends, to which kaveh says although they used to be, they aren’t any longer

the game has repeatedly shown that Alhaitham and kaveh possess a deep understanding of each other, only it is their miscommunication and inability to compromise that causes the rift between them. Their character design is based around mirrors, and this ultimately poses the question of whether the two can align their beliefs, whether they can achieve a harmony

overcoming this rift between them begins in a parade of providence, where kaveh’s cycle of self-detriment in his excessive altruism due to his past guilt is particularly focussed on, with alhaitham’s reaction being saddened, and concerned, for kaveh’s mindset – not because his beliefs or philosophies are ‘correct’ over kaveh’s, but because of his belief that kaveh’s mindset negatively impacts him

Alhaitham posits that the issues between them are no longer about the ‘correctness’ of their respective philosophies after looking into sachin’s influence over kaveh’s father, in order to potentially provide kaveh closer, insinuating a more personal reason for the rift between them

It’s after this that a notable shift is seen in their dynamic, with cyno’s second story quest going out of its way to show a flashback in the intimacy of their home, and additionally showing the two voluntarily working together for the first time since their past, abandoned thesis

Their working together demonstrates this harmonisation of not only their personal, scholarly beliefs, but also their reconciliation as people, which can be seen in the two’s closeness, where they previously were separated due to strife – a closeness that is commented on by other characters

In nahida’s birthday event this intimacy is furthered even more, with kaveh wanting mehrak, an important helper companion, to be able to recognise alhaitham’s voice – as of now, this appears to be the only other person, besides himself, whom kaveh has programmed this feature for. Kaveh’s regard for mehrak, established in this scene, then carries over to Alhaitham, demonstrating how kaveh perceives the importance of their bond (i yapped about this more here!)

Going back to kaveh indirectly referring to Alhaitham as his ‘friend’, where this was previously denied, shows a fulfilment Alhaitham and kaveh’s narrative arc :’’’) I am so!?!?! Happy for them well done guys, you got there in the end <3

[thebirthofvenusfly]

hi i was raised in a home daycare for over 20 years and studied child development and psychology in school for 3 and would like to gush about why i love how bonnie was written and how they're one of the few kids in games i've played that Actually Feel Like a Kid:

firstly: bonnie's diction

bonnie cursing like a sailor is honestly pretty accurate for a kid aged like 9-14 and i distinctly remember having a huge cursing phase of my own at that age too so LMAO

they ask a lot of questions adjacent to a kids' understanding/confusion of things, social norms, situations, feelings, etc. (the conversation about the actors kissing in that play they saw and how they MUST have had an invisible paper between their lips because nobody would REALLY kiss on stage in front of everybody!)

they can be incredibly blunt but often not with the intention to hurt feelings rather than genuinely acquire information (sometimes with some sass b/c of previous conditioning.) ex. "Our teacher always tells us we have to speak up more... You're an adult so why don't you speak up more?" (Precedent/Conditioning; "Adult in position of power and authority has ingrained it is important to use my voice." -> "Why don't you, an adult who should know better, use yours more then?")

they have a tendency to confidently and casually use words and phrases they don't fully understand or know ("Air-no-no-nomic" -> this especially being something picked up by a fellow kid and just trusted that) (struggling to say, "pomegranate" (very cute watching odile help them with it :,) ) (struggling to say onigiri -> purposely messing this up to get a playful reaction out of dile, a party member they're especially close to, was also very sweet)

it's hard to discuss feelings. they're more likely to use a vessel as a means of connecting to someone else before being able to assign words to everything (offering a peach to siffrin in the classroom because they recognize he's upset without fully understanding why, then waiting for him to address the situation)

secondly: how bonnie handles feelings towards the others and about their Scenario

tendency to hold onto hard, serious, difficult-to-breach subjects and then explode and scream when addressed (ex. Rotten Adults quest)

slightly more partial to physical touch than verbal affirmation (hugs, hugs, hugs! including the little half-hugs they do where they just run into siffrin's side...)

jabbing siffrin in the stomach as a show of example for touching them LMAO???

recounting stories and information that interests them without regard for how socially appropriate it is or why others may react poorly (ex. talking to the party about how nille ran away with them and why she did)

unspoken guilt and trauma causing disconnection from people they love (siffrin's eye situation)

just a few examples and thoughts i liked

[gayofthefae]

You know how I know Mike is queer?

These are the same person. Mike is an inherently caring, loving, and protective person. It's what Will called out in 4x08 and reminded us of with Mike's desire and practice in attempt to be a "hero" and be able to help the ones he loves.

But when El tells him she feels unloved by him, he doesn't comfort her. At all. He defends himself. He doesn't even say "yes I do". He says "I say it". Even when he's arguing that he loves her, he is defending himself, not comforting her. If he was comforting her he would have reacted to her crying at all. He doesn't. He just becomes increasingly desperate and escalates the tactics that are making her cry more.

Because the accusation is that important to him. Not many things could be so important to him that he would deprioritize her or taking care and protecting and comforting those he loves. He even does quite well at it at the start of the scene. We have PROOF that he is pretty stable these days with any sort of accusation or invalidation with how well he takes "you don't understand" and simply asks questions without any sort of offense. So he CAN take it. He takes it IN THIS CONVERSATION.

But when she says he doesn't love him, he stops the "they just don't know you". He stops the "don't say that about yourself, you're lovable," which is what this is really about for her. If he had said that even if he couldn't say it himself, it might have still helped a little bit: frame it as his own fault if he can't. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he went with how it reflected on HIM that he couldn't say it and defended himself AGAINST her. FOUGHT her on it.

There are few things that can make him fight a person. And they've all actually been pretty similar. They're all El:

"You're prioritizing El over Will"

"There is something off about your relationship with El"

"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"

"He's right that your and [El's] relationship wasn't a good one"

"Your and El's relationship wasn't a good one"

"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"

"You don't love [El]"

He is comforting. He is kind. He prioritizes others' comfort and safety consistently. He takes other accusations fairly lightly and focuses back onto the person making them and their emotions. And yet, what does he say in those instances and only those instances?

"SHUT. UP."

"You lying piece of shit. You're crazy!"

"It's not my fault you don't like girls!"

"He's just some crazy old man"

"You're conspiring against me!"

"We're friends! We're friends!"

"You're being ridiculous. What is this?"

People who say his character has gotten worse are stating it under the idea that he is always like this. The entire discovery so many people, including myself, had that he's queer was because we noticed that his outbursts were consistent. People think he's random and angry because they think the situations are random: Lucas, Hopper, Will, Max, El. But they're forgetting to note what each of those people questioned about him right before.

The biggest proof is that he doesn't ever talk like this outside of these situations. It's lighthearted debates and empathetic conversations.

Mike Wheeler is a kind person. If he said "You're being ridiculous. What is this?" it is not just because he's scared of vulnerability or commitment.

[minswriting]

nsfw | mdni | spencer reid x unsub! reader | masturbation (m), this may make not a lot of sense but the concept is what’s important, not the content lol

tw: mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of murder, reader really isn’t that bad, spencer likes women who can control the situation, reader is wearing heels and it turns spencer on but there is absolutely no foot fetish because that is not my cup of tea at all

thinking about a reader who is an unsub. spencer had gone undercover to meet you, going on a date with you. and you already could tell he was undercover. how couldn’t you? he was awkward, unsure of his surroundings. and the smallest imprint of a bug on his suit jacket. in order to maintain your cover, you had learned to notice the smallest of things about your surroundings.

the date began innocently. the two of you laughed, talking about random things about your personal lives that wouldn’t give anything away. until eventually something shifted. you had told a story about how you were abused sexually as a child.

“is that why you go around killing men that represent your abuser?” spencer asked quietly, his voice so sure of himself as he looked at you with a look of ‘there’s no hiding from this one’.

and in response, you smirked. “that’s quite the accusation, wouldn’t you say?” you murmured, tilting your head at spencer.

“one that you’re not denying,” spencer said matter-of-factly.

you simply smiled, nodding your head. “why should i?” you asked, using your heel to run along spencer’s leg, causing him to shutter. “you see, men are all the same,” you leaned in, looking at spencer with a seductive look. “so easy to please. the smallest of gestures,” your voice was so smooth and confident, sending chills down spencer’s back. “being more than enough to send them over the edge.” your heel made it to his crotch, grazing the tent that had formed so quickly underneath your touch.

spencer let out a small gasp, gripping the table in front of him as he tried not to buck his hips into your heel. “and you use that to your advantage,” he said, clearing his throat.

you nodded your head, twisting your heel slightly to give him slight friction. “you see, men are disgusting by nature. anything and everything turns them on and so they’ll take what they want,” you exclaimed. “are you going to take what you want, spencer?” you asked seductively.

spencer let out a shaky breath, licking his lips. “so you killed men simply because they’re gross to you.”

you shook your head. “every man i’ve killed has had a history of past abuse towards others,” you exclaimed seriously, taking your heel off of spencer’s crotch. “so go ahead and arrest me but at the end of the day, i took away the people that could hurt poor innocent girls like i once was.”

and so you were indeed arrested, leaving spencer with his thoughts all wrapped around you. luckily the case had taken place in D.C as he was able to just go home immediately after. once he had gotten home, he couldn’t help but think about your heel on his crotch.

it was gross of him to think of you in such a way. you’re an unsub, a murderer that he had just locked away in jail. but your motive for killing was understandable. it’s not like you murdered anyone innocent. and god, you were so undeniably beautiful.

spencer’s cock was still hard from earlier, having not been able to give himself any sort of relief. the genius’s brain had turned to mush and it had taken all of his strength to muster up the questions he had asked you. and he was sure that you could tell.

unzipping his pants and pulling them down, spencer gripped his cock as he leaned against the door to his apartment. he began jerking himself off, indulging in his thoughts about you. part of him felt sick for doing this. isn’t it just proving your point? men want what they want with no care for the world. anything and everything turns them on. spencer was not an exception.

he let out a small moan as he teased his tip with his thumb. he thought about how you would most certainly degrade him, control him. oh how he wanted you to use him for your own pleasure. spencer wanted so badly to give to you what he couldn’t give. maybe that’s what made him different than the rest of the men in the world.

he wanted to give, not to take.

spencer whimpered, pumping his cock faster. he can still practically feel the weight of your heel on his cock, making him want nothing more than to bend to your will. he felt himself getting closer with each thought about you. and with a choked moan, he began cumming, spilling ropes of his seed onto the floor and onto his hand.

perhaps you knew that you would be on spencer’s mind for awhile. perhaps you knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist your charm. because from there on out, spencer only thought about you.

[jakesangel]

how would jake be if you go non verbal >< -requested

to jake, you're comfort is his top priority, whenever and wherever you're with him. his hands on your waist is a way to keep you close to him and away from the danger but sometimes that wouldn't be enough to keep you safe.

the mall being too crowded, overwhelming you with to munch sounds : people's laugh, babies cries, children running all around,,, and being hyper alert always always makes you go non verbal.

the first time it happened, he didn't know what to do, concern also overwhelming him. baby, why are you not answering ? are you okay ? he would ask you, stopping in his track. you'd shake your head, meaning no. he'd take you outside, calling for a car so you guys can come back to your home. he tries to be as mindful as possible tho he doesn't understand why you are in this state rn, but he understood that you need your privacy, hence why you are not on way to his dorm.

once arrived, he wouldn't let you get undress by yourself, going on his knees to removes ur shoes, going back up to help you w ur outside coat. are you feeling better, baby ? he would whisper making you nod. should we go cuddle on your bed ? or would wathcing a movie help you out ? you, obviously, can't answer to that right now, just looking at him. he'd be dumbfounded n would think about how to help you while he removes his own clothes. he would then lead you to the bathroom, helping you wash your hands. let's go to your bedroom okay ?, reassuring you w a smile of his.

once settle on the bed, he'd make you sat in front of him so he can see your facial reactions, and be sure of your well being. let's do yes no questions, would that be alright baby ? making you nod, i don't really know what's going on, and i won't ask anything until you're ready. i just want your to be okay. would cuddles be too much for you ? you shaking your head left n right meaning no. okay baby. let me set it all up yeah ?

after cuddling for over an hour, you'd finally be able to talk and it's only then jake would make you talk about your condition and asking you why u didn't tell him previously. he wouldn't be mad at you but towards himself, as he would feel like he failed his boyfriend duties. during this important conversation, hed tell you lots of comforting words you're okay baby, i'm here, i'll always love you. he would also take extra precaution to leave your place only if he is sure that you are more than alright. once back to his dorm, he would go on internet, trying to educate himself. he would also text you and ask you questions about ur triggers n how u would usually handle urself.

since then, he would always be more than cautious. his hands would pulls you even closer to him and his eyes a bit less on you to keep in check your environment. whenever you'd want to go out, he'll always check the influence and if he think it would be too munch for you, he'd change the destination or make you wait with another activity waiting peak hours to pass. or if you come over to the dorms hed tell the members to stay more or less calm, or he'd keep you in his room w chilling music to block the stimulations away. but even if his extra preparations wouldn't be enough, he'd still be prepare. always having a pair of headphone w him or hoodie to try to block your stimulations and soothe you down. he would even make you a special playlist those moments, a playlist full of your comfort songs.

note : thank you anon 🩷 for this , i do wish you the well and i'm glad u have friends who can help you w it <3

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @heeseungswifefr @stwrjvke @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz

[tpwk-formula1]

hi! could i pls get sicilian crust with alfredo sauce, pepperoni, pineapple, roasted mushrooms, and goat cheese. then also sprite, dr pepper, truly, and dessert? sorry for the big order 😭

p.s. i love ur writing so much 🫶🏻

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

sicilian dating Alfredo sweet sex pepperoni "Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want" pineapple "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock" roasted mushroom “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” goat cheese "Look so pretty like this" sprite size kink dr pepper dirty talk truly belly bulge dessert yes served by Ollie Bearman

Ollie x Gf! Reader

TW - Oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, slight teasing, belly bulge, slight size kink

WC 1400+

Y/N POV

"If we get married one da-" I start saying but get quickly cut off by my boyfriend Ollie scoffing making me turn my head with a raised brow.

"IF? If we get married? You mean WHEN we get married," Ollie corrects making me laugh slightly and nod my head in agreeance.

"Well, ya when we get married, would you want to write personal vows or standard ones?" I reply softly with a blush creeping on my cheeks just at the thought of marrying Ollie one day.

"Well, what would you want? I love love to be able to get up in front of our entire family and friends and tell them exactly how much I love you and all the promises I make to you but I understand if you would rather do that in a more personal setting," Ollie replies softly while looking down at me.

We had spent the whole day being pretty lazy and had currently been watching The Office while cuddling when the random question popped up into my head.

"Well, I've always pictured myself doing a first look before I walk down the isle so maybe we could do personal ones just us and maybe with our parents and closest friends and then during the ceremony maybe giving the standard ones," I reply back making Ollie smile and nod.

"Well, that sounds like a good plan to me. I'm shocked a bit that you would want to do a first look," Ollie tells me softly making me laugh lightly.

"I don't know I just love first looks they feel really personal and then that way we can have our moment alone before having a moment for everyone you know. I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of people and eyes on us so I think it would be nice to have something for just us and the important people," I tell Ollie softly making him nod.

"God, we really are gonna have a lot of people there," Ollie says clearly thinking about all the the people we would be inviting to our future wedding.

"You think you're gonna invite all your engineers from Haas and Ferrari?" I ask slightly laughly making Ollie chuckle along.

"Probably not, but definitely the important ones. You gonna invite everyone in your ballet preformances?" Ollie questions with a laugh falling from his lips.

"No, definitely not. Maybe 1 or 2 of them are deserving of an invite. Please tell me you're not inviting every driver on the grid," I jokingly ask while cringing just thinking about how much ruckus the 20 of those boys could cause.

"Oh definitely all 20," Ollie says with a smirk falling on his lips making me laugh and nod.

"Ya I guess they are pretty important," I nod laughing with Ollie.

"You're really gonna marry me one day?" Ollie asks suddenly getting serious.

"Well ya, when the day comes that you ask me to marry you I'll say yes in a heartbeat," I tell him with a smile starting to spread across my face. Ollie matched my smile before pulling me closer to his chest and kissing me softly on the lips.

"I fucking love you," Ollie tells me making me laugh and tell him I loved him too.

I pulled Ollie back in for another kiss this one turning into a heated makeout session with me crawling into Ollie's lap and grinding down softly feeling his cock starting to grow hard under me.

"Fuck baby," Ollie groans making me giggle softly.

"I can feel how hard you are," I reply softly against Ollie's lips making him groan when I grind down harder into his growing cock.

I pull off my shirt quickly leaving my upper body completely bare for Ollie's large hands to grip onto my tits making me whimper slightly.

"God, I love these tits," Ollie groans making me smile softly.

Ollie starts teasing my nipples with his fingers making me whimper before I start pulling off Ollie's shirt making Ollie pull away slightly to help pull it off all of the way.

I look down at Ollie's toned chest making me rub my hands along his chest and abs before settling on the waistband of his shorts pulling them open just slightly so I can sneak my hand and squeeze his hard cock.

"Fuck," Ollie groans when I start jerking him off slightly.

Ollie and I both climb out of bed and strip our clothes off before I pull Ollie in for another kiss and push him to sit on the edge of the bed so I can get on my knees for him.

"Look so pretty like this" Ollie mumbles while staring down at me on my knees for him.

I slowly start jerking his cock off before leaning down and pulling the tip of his large cock into my mouth pulling him farther down my throat and making me gag slightly around his cock.

"Fuck," Ollie moans when I start bobbing my head. I hum softly against his cock knowing how much he loves the soft vibrations against his sensitive cock.

"Slow down," Ollie groans pulling my hair into a ponytail and pulling me up his cock slowly when I start gagging around his cock.

"Don't want you to get hurt," Ollie mumbles when I look up at him confused.

"I'm fine, wanna make you feel good," I explain softly while bringing him back into my mouth and down my throat gagging once again but this time Ollie just groaned and enjoyed the pleasure.

"Fuck, Look so pretty wrapped around my cock," Ollie groaned making me whine around his cock and bring my hand between my thigh to tease my already-soaked pussy.

"Get on the bed," Ollie groaned pulling me up and helping me onto the bed.

Ollie was between my thigh within moments, pulling my clit into his mouth and sucking it like his life depended on it.

"Oh fuck, Ollie," I whimper pulling his hair between my fingers and tugging him closer to my core.

"More," I beg when I feel Ollie slowly slip two fingers into my pussy.

"Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want," Ollie groaned against my pussy while picking up the pace with his fingers making the band in my stomach tighten warning me of the orgasm that is starting to build.

"I want you cumming on my cock," Ollie says while slipping his fingers out of my pussy making me whimper at the loss of pleasure.

Ollie sits up before he slowly slips his cock into my pussy making me whimper when I feel his large cock starting to fill my tight pussy up.

"Oh god," I scream out when Ollie is all the way seated in my pussy. I could feel the stretch of him all around me making me whimper.

"Too big," I gasp when Ollie starts thrusting his hips softly trying to stretch me out as much as possible before picking up his pace.

"Fucking hell, you're so tight," Ollie groans when he can feel me starting to relax around him, allowing him to pick up the pace.

"Ollie," I moan loudly when I can feel my orgasm start to build in the pit of my stomach again.

“Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Ollie groans making me trail my eyes down slightly noticing instantly the bulge that keeps showing back up every time Ollie pushes in all the way.

"Oh Ollie," I gasp in a stunned manner not expecting it to be so noticeable.

"So tight for me," Ollie mumbles while slowly starting to push down on the bulge so I can feel it more.

"Oh fuck," I scream when I start cumming all over Ollie's cock. All the pleasure was far too overwhelming around me I don't realize that OIllie's thrusts have stopped until I feel his cock pulsing deep in my pussy before he starts unleashing rope after rope of his cum.

"Fuck Ollie," I gasp out of breath as he slowly starts slipping out of me making me feel his cum leak from my gaping pussy.

"Fuck," Ollie groans while slowly climbing out of bed and grabbing a discarded shirt on the floor to wipe me down quickly before climbing back into bed and pulling me into his chest.

"Fuck, I could do that the rest of my life," I joke softly making Ollie laugh lightly with me but still nodding his head in agreeance.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

pearl + rose + greg

(the importance of these complex relationships, along with some very common misconceptions)

first off, no one is married

i’m surprised by how many fans, particularly on other platforms, are under the impression that rose + greg were married.

even though it was confirmed that they never got married in gem harvest. pearl also said, “we heard you like marriage, so why don’t we all marry each other!” after andy & greg argued about the fact that greg never married steven’s mother. when ruby + sapphire’s wedding happens, it’s clearly a novelty to all the gems.

i also think that rose + greg not being married is an important detail. people like to assume that their relationship was one that was completely human, fitting into all the norms of human society & using a bunch of labels. it’s as if rose was human herself, as if greg ever expected her to fit in, in any way, shape, or form (no pun intended).

their relationship was anything but conventional; that was how they wanted it to be.

their relationship was unique. there was little to no pressure or arguing. it was based on love & respect & comfort instead of rules. rules held greg back his whole life & in order to be his true self, he had to rebel against those he knew throughout his early life. of course, rose can understand not wanting rules. as seen in we need to talk, rose also gets very uncomfortable & anxious when she can’t fully understand human beings, what they expect and how they feel. so, they found an in-between, where they could relate to each other and connect as individuals, instead of forcing themselves to have an entirely human relationship or a gem relationship. their relationship was relaxed, open, and they were able to destress when they spent time together.

they’re similar people. impulsive, playful, naive at times, soft-hearted. there were things that scared him from the past, and it was clearly the same for rose. when it came to emotional conversations, there was a line that they would never cross. past that line was a lot of very, very serious conversations. the demayos, the diamonds, secrets, fears, traumas, questions about gem stuff that greg felt wary of. they strived for an equal relationship, so their issues were often mutual. if greg’s not asking for complicated details about gem relationships, he likely won’t expect rose to comprehend marriage.

image description: sketch of rose + greg by rebecca sugar. greg is smiling and blushing but looks calm, his eyes closed. rose glances back at him with a slightly mischievous yet soft smile

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎ ✩₊˚⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎

misconceptions

the assumption that rose + greg were married only worsens the many pearl + rose misunderstandings. consider this: greg + rose were married, but rose never married pearl, who she knew longer than everyone? must be unrequited. or, at least, exes (confirmed not unrequited; also, i doubt pearl + rose understand the term ex). greg + rose were married, so their relationship must have been more important than rose’s relationship with pearl. greg + rose were married, so pearl was talking about what actually happened when she said, she chose you. this assumption overlooks pearl’s self worth issues & insecurities, the true meaning behind both of you, the importance of pearl + rose’s relationship, the miscommunications, the differences between gem & human relationships.

image description: alone at sea promotional art by hilary florido. greg is about to jump into a pool with steven standing next to him in a coach outfit, with a whistle. pearl, amethyst, and rose are sitting against the wall in swimsuits. rose looks at him with admiration, amethyst is grinning, and pearl has a look of disapproval.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎ ✩₊˚⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎

pearlrose & gregrose

steven universe ships are often sorted into either “good” or “bad” categories by the fandom, which overlooks the fact that both of these relationships are… far more interesting. i wouldn’t be here if it were that simple. both relationships are comforting & beautiful & sweet & complicated & flawed & important for rose’s character. i love exploring the complexities of both, because:

"the thing that she really lacks is balance, any ability to temper her extremes. this is part of her character throughout her forms: she's always very extreme." — rebecca sugar, end of an era

rose’s two intimate relationships are with individuals who are opposites in various ways, their contrasting traits being different extremes.

pearl + rose had a lot of mutual codependency, which makes sense considering their contrasting personalities, witnessing a lot of each other’s trauma, and having shared trauma as well as intense, dark secrets. rose + greg both loved escapism, which is fitting as they are similar people who cope in similar ways, meeting after major traumas.

one of rose’s partners is overprotective, the other laidback; one is particularly serious about being told everything, and for good reason considering what she knows and what she + rose have been through. the other really, really understands not wanting to discuss painful pasts, and for good reason considering what he doesn’t know and what he’s been through.

rose forms meaningful relationships with both of them. her feelings were similar in the way that she loved them both. she related to both of them & admired both of them, too. she particularly admired pearl in a i-think-you’re-so-good-and-i’m-nothing-like-you way, because they have so many differences. she particularly related to greg, as they have so many parallels, she loves humanity, and she feels like she would be a lot like him if she were human.

both of them were comforting to rose. pearl was incredibly caring; she cared a lot about the pain that no one else could know about. she was gentle but very encouraging when it came to rose not needing to keep things from her. and if rose was sad, i’m sure she could tell. i was the one she told everything to! i can imagine pearl comforting rose, knowing what was going on without rose needing to say much. it was also comforting to rose that pearl knew about so many things she was ashamed of, but she remained on her side at all times and loved her so deeply and openly. rose had very intense emotions, & greg had a way of keeping life light which gave her a very particular kind of comfort. he would make her laugh when she wanted to cry & he would distract her whenever she was consumed by her emotions and spiraling thoughts. she loved the simplicity and it was comforting that he didn’t know about her past because they could start fresh together.

greg took pride in being accepting and supportive of everyone’s decisions, never trying to control things. it’s what he always wanted, and rose reciprocated. she supported & believed in him, which helped him heal from his childhood in a lot of ways. but, there’s also this:

"on the flip side, they enable each other. she never unpacks what scares her about her past, and neither does he” — rebecca sugar, end of an era

greg's relaxed personality & not knowing about her past made rose feel very comfortable… but almost too comfortable with hiding things. greg was happy when rose was happy, and this was very sincere. he taught her so much about humans & she ultimately decided to have steven. the love that she had for her unborn child was so strong & genuine & she trusted greg, knowing that he would be a wonderful father. i don’t even need to say anything about how much he loves steven. the issue is, she couldn’t quite understand the pain he would feel if she was no longer in his life. rose also had self hatred that was connected to pain from the past that greg didn’t know about.

in contrast, pearl knowing so much & having a history with rose made rose feel concerned about causing her stress. due to her self hatred, rose always focused on the negative aspects of herself. she couldn’t quite understand all the positive things she brought to pearl’s life, the ways that she was good for her (despite how expressive & intense pearl’s love was). don’t get me wrong, pearl’s love helped rose in so many ways, but due to lack of love for herself, rose could never quite wrap her head around why pearl adored her so much. the comfort, the closeness, the warmth, all the reasons pearl wanted to live with her forever.

with that said, she felt so much love and care from both of them. she simply felt undeserving of it because of the way she felt about herself. they all loved steven completely, rose was so excited for him to exist, and she wholeheartedly believed greg and the gems would be such important parts of steven’s life. nothing changes that.

this isn’t a one-couple-is-perfect-and-married-and-the-other-is-bad-and-unrequited situation, as some believe it is. both relationships are complex. rose was in a lot of pain resulting from personal issues, but pearl & greg both brought comfort to her in unique ways because of their differences. they now bring comfort to steven in their own, unique ways! i’m sure rose imagined that & she would be very proud of both of them.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎ ✩₊˚⋆⁺₊✧ ⋆ ☁︎

image description: sketch in black and white of greg, rose quartz, and pearl. greg looks behind him, appearing confused and he is standing up. rose and pearl are kneeling and pearl's face is in rose's hands as she looks up at her.

[agirlwhodreamsandwishes]

Never again

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When you feel like you are not worthy of being part of the avengers, you discover someone who thinks exactly the opposite.

a/n. So, this is my first fanfic :). I would really appreciate if you tell me if you liked and your opinions about it! I hope I don't dissapoint anyone! Any advice would be appreciated. And please, remember English is not my first language.

Word count: 1.5k

Fluff, shy Bucky.

As a new avenger everything was hard for you. Not because the rest of the team wasn’t nice or understanding with you, but because of all the pressure you had to go through. Everyone in the city was looking at you all the time, at the new girl, questioning every move you made. Why wouldn’t they? You are the novelty, something new to talk about after a calm period of time. You were there for six months and you were already stressed. 

“Hey Y/N, you okay? You seem off.” You heard Wanda asking as she looked at you with a frown. You had made friends; Sam and Wanda were immediately your favorite people in the team since the first time you arrived, always so welcoming and nice. But you never tell them how you really felt; you didn’t want to be a bother, they all had their own worries and you didn’t want to be another one to add to the list. “Yeah! I’m just tired, I couldn’t sleep last night.” You try to fake a smile hoping she would buy it and stop asking.

Every day at night you go on a walk by a little beach near the compound— your safe place, a moment of peace in which you let your feelings out, crying while nobody is watching or listening to you. At least, you don’t think anyone notices your daily routine, you think you’re being cautious. But that’s not the case, there’s one person who has been watching you since almost the first time— Bucky Barnes, the cold and sometimes rude super soldier. 

Bucky Barnes was stunned the first time you met him, but you thought he didn’t care about you. He looked at you when you introduced yourself, nodded and left the room. You almost cried. Why was he that rude? The truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. When you met him you didn’t look scared of him nor you didn’t seem to hate him. You were like a ray of sunshine, smiling and being nice. He couldn’t allow himself to be near you, he didn’t deserve you. But he started to notice your nightly walks and he couldn’t allow you to go alone. What if something happened to you? No, no, that couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

Bucky suffered each time he saw you cry, but he didn’t want to interfere, thinking you wouldn't want him near. So he tried to cheer you up from a safe distance. You received flowers (sunflowers, because they reminded him of you), your favorite candies and, even once, a book you wanted to read for a few weeks before he sent it to you. You didn’t know who was buying those things for you, you thought you had some fan like the other avengers had. 

“Hey! Sam! Look what I received today! Someone sent me some candles! They smell amazing!” Sam chuckled at your excitement looking discreetly at his super soldier best friend, who was sitting at the sofa, peeking at you from behind the book he was reading. “Y/N, that fan of yours must really like you a lot, doesn’t it look like that, Bucky?” Of course, he knew his friend, and he knew Bucky was head over heels for you. “Yeah, sure.” Bucky hid himself again behind the book, not before sending a death glare to his friend. You blush, realizing in that exact moment that he was there. You might have developed a tiny crush on him. Well, maybe not that tiny, but he was so handsome. And even though he barely talked to you, you loved when you saw him laughing and joking with Sam and Steve. It was a rare but beautiful sight.

It was night again, and the day had been really hard for you, you had made a mistake that caused the loss of some important files. The team was able to recover them, but still, you felt awful. It was like you only failed again and again. That night, you started walking by your comfort beach but you couldn’t see through all the tears falling down your eyes; it was too much. You sat in the sand and started crying; you couldn’t stop. 

You felt strong arms wrapping you. “I’m here.” You could recognise that voice anywhere. Bucky was there, with you, hugging you and telling you that he was there for you. You hugged him tight while crying more and more, while he caressed your hair. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” 

When you calmed yourself, you didn’t want to move, you were too embarrassed to do something. Not only had someone seen you crying, but that someone was Bucky Barnes himself. “Y/N? Do you feel better now?” 

You nod and look at him, your face completely red. He chuckles when he sees how embarrassed you are. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you if you need me.”

“I… I feel awful. What I did today… it could’ve ended really badly, Bucky. I’m only a burden; I don’t belong here. People are watching me fail everyday at something. I can’t anymore.” You try to not start crying again but you fail.

“Don’t say that That’s completely false, Y/N. You’re really important here. You don’t realize how helpful you are here.” He hugs you again and kisses your forehead while you keep crying. 

“Do you really believe that? I’m not that relevant; I’ve been here for six months.” You look at him again, still blushing.

“Don’t you realize how much we need you? It’s not only the fact that you are an amazing agent, it’s also because you always have a smile on your face, always smiling. You are always there when someone needs something, willing to help. You don’t want anyone to suffer, but you suffer alone. The team would not survive without you. I wouldn’t survive without you.” He whispered that last sentence and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were still hugging and you were so close to him, you would’ve missed it.”

“What?” You blushed again. “Bucky, what do you mean?” 

It’s his turn to blush, as he ignores your question. “You know, it’s not the first time I see you here… I just didn’t want to bother you. It seemed like you wanted to be alone and… yeah, today… I couldn’t just stare and do nothing.” 

“I appreciate it. I really do. I needed that hug.” You look straight in his eyes. “But can you answer my question, please?” You saw how he avoided your eyes and blushed more. You then realize that he hadn’t let you go off his arms, and you blush as you start to chuckle because you two look like idiots. 

“Are you really gonna make me answer that? Can we ignore it, please?” He knew he’d have to answer but he didn’t want to. 

“Yes, please.” You now looked at him with a serious expression and he realized that this was his chance, he was going to tell you how he feels about you.

“Okay, but please don’t interrupt me, I need to say this quickly” You nodded. “Y/N, I… since the fist time I saw you, you live rent free in my mind. You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. You truly are light; you bring sun to the darkest days. You remind me of a sunflower. When you started walking at night, I started too; I couldn’t let anything happen to you. When I saw you crying every night… my heart broke in a million pieces, I wanted to help you, be there for you everytime you needed me. But I didn’t know if you would’ve wanted me to be with you, I know that we are not that close, and I feel it’s my fault.” You didn’t know what to say; you stared at him in shock.

“Bucky, why? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why didn’t you talk to me? Or tried to be my friend?” You were trapped in his eyes, so blue you thought you could drown in them.

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N. I… I have something to confess. The flowers, the candles… It was me.” He looked away from your eyes.

“Look at me, Bucky, please.” He looked at you, then at your lips. The tension was palpable. You looked at his lips and then up at his eyes. When you saw the way he’s looking at you, you felt at home, safe. You had never felt as loved as in that moment. So you did it. You kissed him and the world stopped. It was just both of you; nothing else mattered. You felt safe with him and you knew you’d never be alone again.

“Bucky? I don’t want to do this walks alone again.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around you again, kissing your forehead. 

“Never again, love, never again”.

[rivendell-poet]

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐄𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐡 « one-shot »

Pairing : Legolas X Reader

Wordcount : 2.3k

No TWs | Gender-neutral reader | Elf!reader | Read on Ao3

Summary : “I was,” You hesitated, not wanting to reveal you were slacking off, “Observing our immediate upward surroundings, to make sure a… bird, doesn’t attack us,” At the end of your speech, it honestly sounded more like a question than a statement, and Legolas let out a soft laugh accordingly.

“It is ok, I think the stars are very beautiful too,” He looked up, then back down at you, hesitating for a second, “They are pretty, meleth nîn.”

There had been a pause after he’d said that, and you made eye contact for a brief moment. He seemed to be searching for something, but you weren’t sure what. And it didn’t matter if you had a brief thought it might be a love confession (and you liked him back-) you were not misreading signs and acting on unrequited love.

- - - -

You and Legolas should really be together already, but neither of you will admit it, and neither of you will confess. Until someone does. But, as an elf, you really should know Elvish. Miscommunication/misunderstandings occur, but everything work out in the end.

You had never regretted not learning Elvish more in your life. Well, that wasn’t strictly true, you could think of a few other times it’d been worse, but this had to be up there. As an elf, people always expected you would know your mother-tongue, but you’d been brought up by humans and never learnt it for most of your life. And even when you moved to Rivendell, you still hadn’t learnt it - even though you’d been able to.

Technically you could understand a few words, those being; gresta (help), dagor (battle), baura (need, or require), mann (food), and pen-channas (stupid, or idiot). To be honest, that last word was probably the reason most elves thought you could understand Elvish, as you used it fairly frequently in your vocabulary, and it was one of the first things you’d said to Legolas.

When you had said that to him, he looked at you with these slightly hurt eyes, then realised you were joking, and said something back in elvish (fôf you were pretty sure), and you had simply rolled your eyes in response. Looking back at that moment, you really should have informed him you didn’t know Elvish, but oh well - he thought you did, and you were way too prideful to admit anything otherwise.

Besides, although Legolas (and very infrequently Aragorn) spoke to you in Elvish, whenever it was something important they’d speak in Common tongue, as to make sure the hobbits understood too.

But to the point. You were regretting never telling Legolas you didn’t speak Elvish, because he’d started talking in it to you. Quite a lot. Never full conversations, mainly just phrases sprinkled in - but you had no idea what it meant. And you desperately wanted to find out.

Afterall, at one point - you and Legolas had been on watch together, him peering into the trees that weren’t illuminated by the fire, and you leaning up against him and looking at the stars. You felt him shift slightly, and leaned back off him, realising he was looking at you.

“Sorry, should’ve… asked permission, I know.”

There was a soft spoken smile in his voice when he spoke back, “Oh, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind it at all mellon . I was simply curious as to what you were doing.”

“I was,” you hesitated, not wanting to reveal you were slacking off, “Observing our immediate upward surroundings, to make sure a… bird, doesn’t attack us.” At the end of your speech, it honestly sounded more like a question than a statement, and Legolas let out a soft laugh accordingly.

“It is ok, I think the stars are very beautiful too,” he looked up, then back down at you, hesitating for a second, “They are pretty, meleth nîn .” 

There had been a pause after he’d said that, and you made eye contact for a brief moment. He seemed to be searching for something, but you weren’t sure what. And it didn’t matter if you had a brief thought it might be a love confession (and you liked him back-) you were not misreading signs and acting on unrequited love. So you had simply smiled, and then awkwardly shuffled up into a watching position, staying silent.

That incident had been two nights ago, and things had stayed awkward between the two of you. You had tried to approach him, going out to scout together, but he’d been reserved, and excused himself. All conversation was about what had just happened, and if you all had food. The only other thing you’d gotten out of him was a quiet muttering (that you weren’t sure if you should’ve heard), “ Im crumguru”

And being the Elvish genius you were, you had zero clue what that meant. But you could tell you’d done something wrong, you’d hurt Legolas. And that thought weighed you down, made even the supposedly limitless elf energy drain from you, being replaced by guilt.

Eventually you stopped walking for the day and set up camp, but despite all your companions around you, you still felt suffocated. Glancing up, you saw Aragorn and Legolas in hushed conversation, and conversation in Elvish for that matter. As you looked closer, although trying not to seem like you were staring, you saw a hint of sadness in Legolas’s eyes, before he turned away to Aragorn, who actually sent a brief look your way.

Frodo, bless his soul, saw your discomfort and gently sat down next to you, saying nothing but sitting in companionable silence. Before eventually something broke it, it was Sam, piping up, “Is anyone available to go get firewood, I want to start cookin’ before it gets too late.”

“I will.”

The exclamation went at the same time, from both you and Legolas. But before either of you could back out, Sam clasped his hands together, smiling, “Two is better than one I suppose, be back soon.” Stretching, the two of you got up - with you not missing the look that Legolas gave Aragorn. “Just be getting firewood, mind,” Gimli calls out, right as you begin to leave.

Normally, that would’ve elicited a dark blush from you (and sometimes a lighter one from Legolas), but tonight it just made your heart ache slightly. Normally, you made a light hearted reply at him, maybe nudge Legolas a bit, but this time you stayed silent. Instead Legolas responded, “Do not worry Gimli, it will just be collecting firewood.”

If it could, your heart would’ve sunk further into your chest, and you hurried along towards some of the trees, blindly stopping to see if any broken branches were lying about. You needed to apologise to him, or tell him the truth about why you’d responded the way you did. But instead you chose the cowards way, silently gathering fallen timber for a fire.

A few times, you could feel his blue eyes on you, not invasive, and more curious if anything - but you didn’t address or turn round and face them. It had only been a few minutes, and you’d gathered much more timber than you usually would with him, when you turned around, blurting out, “I think we have enough - do you want to head back?”

Great, that wasn’t at all what you wanted to say to him. But screw apologies, you know, why have them when you can ask your c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶ - Legolas, about how much wood he’d collected. “Wait, Legolas, I meant to-”

“Yes, I think we have plenty between us,” he cut across, his voice quiet but instantly making you silent. For a second your throat hurt, and you swallowed hard, turning sharply and your heel and beginning to make your way back to Frodo and the others, clutching the bundle of logs painfully tightly.

As you hurried back, you could hear Legolas say something, but you cut him off, dropping the logs in front of everyone, “We’re back. Is this enough?” As you interrupted what small chatter had been ongoing, you saw as they looked in confusion to only you, before they saw Legolas appear a bit away, also holding quite a few logs.

Dinner was quiet, to you and Legolas at least, as you both sat alone and off to the side, only speaking to mutter a quiet thanks as soup was served around. At one point, everyone had finished eating and was settling down.  The matter of who would watch went on, and you volunteered, knowing you probably wouldn't be able to sleep.

There was a brief moment of silence as people waited for Legolas to volunteer, you two always did watches or scouts together, but when he remained silent Aragorn stepped up, volunteering with a brief hand up, and an almost chiding look at Legolas.

Everyone had settled down, as much as they could at least, and began to sleep.The first thirty minutes went by silently, with Aragorn giving you concerned glances every now and then. And the guilt was awful, consuming even. Every now and then your eyes would flicker to where Legolas was sleeping, and then to your bedroll - as far away as was possible. This wasn’t right. And, you’d never admitted this before, but it wasn’t right because you loved him.

Then, just as the hour mark approached, and you could see Aragorn beginning to speak, you blurted out, “I can’t speak Elvish.”

Simply silence, and genuine surprise on Aragorn’s features. You continued, “I know, I’m an elf - I should be able to. But I just never learnt, I know about five words - and one of them I called Legolas when I first met, so I think he thinks I can speak Elvish. But I really can’t, and I need you to translate for me.”

There was a chuckle, and a slow whistle from Aragorn, “That… was not what I was expecting. But of course, what do you need me to translate? And why?”

Without you thinking, blush began to spread around your face, and when you tried to whisper it out you couldn’t. There was something intimate, in that moment in the woods, and something that you almost didn’t want to share with Aragorn. Until, “Well, first… he called me mellon , but not like the fruit, I hope… it, sounded Elvish.”

“I imagine he meant the Elvish translation too,” Aragorn smiled, “And it means friend. But you said that was the first one?” There was a more reserved element to his prying, and you were grateful for that. And you were getting mixed messages. You had thought that night was romantic, but what if it hadn't been. What if he didn’t view you the same way?

But still, friendly or not, you felt a reluctance to share the second word, and Aragorn gave an understanding, yet knowing, smile. “You don’t have to tell me by any means, but if you want a full scale on the situation, you need to ask him.”

You nodded, looking over to near where Legolas was still sleeping. “I’ll ask him tonight,” you resolved, sitting up a little straighter, and looking at the stars. 

Aragorn had gotten up by this point, rolling his shoulders back, “I may wake him now, and you can talk. And if you need any Elvish translations, please ask me,” there was a sudden sense of butterflies in your stomach, and constriction in your throat, so you just nodded.

There was just a short walk to where Legolas was lying, and Aragon picked up a stick on the way. With a slight grin, he gently tapped the sleeping body of the elf. No movement. Then he tried again, no movement. But the third time a hand shot out, grabbing it before taking a blind shot, and Legolas sat up, reaching for a bow.

Scowling, he looked around the starlight then at Aragorn, “I assume I’m taking over the watch?” He asked, a little stiffly, while getting out of the simple bedroll and putting on his quiver, bow grasped loosely in his hand.

Aragorn nodded, with a slight grin, before moving slightly out of the circle to sleep, like he always did. Wordlessly, Legolas completely stood up, silently moving to the opposite side of the fire and staring into it, face lit strangely by the dancing flames.

This was simple, this would be easy. You had just told Aragorn it after all, so really there should be nothing stopping you from saying the same to him. But your throat was constricting, and you could feel the smoke sting in your eyes a little bit more.

Instead of words, a small choked sound came out of your mouth, as though you were being strangled or a dying animal. Instantly you saw Legolas look up, eyes showing concern as you tried to speak. Before hardening again, as though he could decide. Then he began to look away, when you managed to speak up.

“I can’t speak Elvish.”

There was shock in his face, you could tell. Shock and confusion, as he stared at you, mind working to absorb the information so late at night. Before a quiet, timid almost, “So you could not understand me, when I was talking to you in the forest?”

You shook your head, another almost choking sob sounded out in your throat, “I know five words, the most useful one is food.”

Something was filling his eyes, you could see. Something like relief, and possibly something more… but you couldn’t tell. And you didn’t want to make assumptions. There was a few seconds of silence between the two of you, before he stood up suddenly, and moved over to you. Not touching, but closer than you’d been in days.

“What… what did you call me? On that night,” you asked eventually, tearing your eyes away from the fire and into his.

“I- I’m not sure how you’d respond to it now,” he managed to get out stiffly, eyes not yet leaving yours.

“Legolas, the only reason I didn’t react is because I didn’t understand you, I promise. I was just uncertain about what you’d said, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Legolas stared back at you, almost warring emotions in his eyes, and almost subconsciously his hands went out, wrapping gently around yours. You could see him try to speak, when he gulped, nervous one - still looking, but with a hint of fear.

“I called you my love,” he whispered, almost as though he was afraid, “In the forest. Meleth nîn means my love, and I said it because…” At that his voice trailed off, and you grasped onto his hands to stop them slipping out from yours.

“As… as in partners?” You asked, gripping onto his hands again when you could feel them slipping away.

“Yes, meleth nîn , as in… I love you.”

(Story from Legolas' POV) Hope you enjoyed! Requests are open <3

thank you for reading *･༓˚✧ wish to be tagged?

[messiahzzz]

i’d briefly like to talk about the “it was fine” dialogue option that happens the morning after gale’s Last Night Alive scene in act ii and about the fandom's general reaction to it.

gale is a character who evidently enjoys the occasional teasing. taking the piss out of your partner every once in a while can certainly be a way of showing affection. however, it is important to consider the context of the situation: what is at stake for him and his current emotional state, as well as what exactly had transpired between the two of them prior to said conversation.

gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.

after he and tav had spent the night together and confessed their love to each other, gale is once again showing himself utterly vulnerable and is carefully asking them for reassurance.

gale: [..] i hope that night meant as much to you as it did to me.

gale: but you - you led me away from the edge.

gale: without your words, your touch... i fear i would have sought purpose and solace in that void. you reminded me what living can feel like.

he wants to check in with them, after both of them have shared something tender and very intimate, something he might even consider life-altering.

gale: we didn't just make love. we bonded, body and soul. i got lost in you.

it’s not even about gale “not being able to read social cues” and “not recognizing the fact that it was meant in jest.” in fact, i’d argue it is a rather tone-deaf, inconsiderate response and just genuinely a REALLY BAD TIME to joke at your partner's expense when they are actively baring their feelings to you and are asking you for reassurance.

i have seen people write off his reaction as “unwarranted” or “overtly dramatic” but in my humble opinion, it is pretty understandable given the nature of their conversation and what he is asking of them. it's also sad how there seems to be a general pattern of gale's emotions and boundaries getting played off as a joke, while other companions get shown the courtesy of thorough analysis/understanding. he is proud of his skill as a lover and the fact that he was able to bring them pleasure, yet his inquiry is less about him wanting tav to stroke his ego and more about him, once again, asking if you indeed share the same feelings for each other… after the emotional high has now passed.

gale has an ever-present need for clarity in his relationships, very likely due to the fact that this was something he couldn’t request of mystra. he might appear more sensitive in that regard compared to the other companions. he doesn’t want to take himself too seriously, but this still often clashes with his general feeling of inadequacy. where he is able to take criticism as long as it isn’t related to his performance, overall prowess and usefulness.

yes, his response is passive-aggressive and yes, he IS obviously hurt by what tav said. yet merely repeating “it was fine” in response to a heartfelt, genuine question could’ve as well been interpreted in that manner. if tav does clarify that they have only been joking, he apologizes to them instead. otherwise his dialogue remains the same, albeit said in a more embarrassed & awkward tone.

gale is a character who is dealing with deep-rooted self-worth issues and yet that doesn’t mean that he wants to be handled with kid gloves, far from it. he craves a relationship in which his emotional needs are recognized, respected and cared for, where he can be unabashedly open and vulnerable without facing ridicule nor pity for it. and he is more than willing to give the same in return.

also y’know — there is a time and a place.

[sanzaibian]

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m still in love. And it made me do some crazy stuff.

Let me talk to you about my first love. Unrequited, of course, but still, first love.

His name was Liam. Skinny, tall, handsome, you know how late middle-school crushes look like. He was sociable, unlike me, but we still did have the kind of deep discussions that I like having, about niche interests, walking back and forth the schoolyard. I was obsessed with him, letting my imagination run wild with scenarios involving him, ranging from seeing him out of school (shock horror ! … it was actually a big deal for me...) to being somehow abducted inside his body and living life as him, with him at the helm and me helping him in daily activities. I also imagined fantastic stories about him being a herald of a magical organization of which I was also part or to which he initiated me. I even wrote them, and hold dear to my heart those worlds I made involving me and Liam.

I even planned on marrying his sister just to be close to him, because I could of course not be in a relationship with him.

Oh, sorry, did I not mention that I was denying I was anything but straight at the time ? Sorry for the misunderstanding. But yes, the whole time I interacted with my first love, I thought he was just a very important friend. How shocking it was to find out just a few years later that I was indeed in love with him.

Sigh.

The problem is that it didn’t stop there, when life drew us to continue school in separate places. After that time, and even now, I see him in anyone looking anything like him. For example, take this guy :

It’s not him.

He’s older, and if I look more closely, I find more and more differences.

However, I look at him, and can only see Liam.

It drove me crazy. Those look-alikes didn’t all look alike, some being buff, some having some stubble, some even being quite short, but all sharing the same short hairstyle, and that unmistakable face.

I just… couldn’t move on, move on from a crush on a straight guy on which I never made any move. I tried finding other people to have crushes on, to fall in love with, perhaps even date, yet I failed at every step. Failed in seeing attractive men as anything more than just that, attractive, failed in meeting men with which to create meaningful relationship, failed in finding any place in the LGBT community.

And punctuating all of that, a slow but steady stream of Liam look-alikes were met in the street.

So don’t blame me if I finished by believing in my own fantasies, that we were in a magical world, with him seeking me to be a part of it, whence all of his appearances in the street. Plus, growing more and more isolated, who was there to bring me back to reality ? Certainly not the internet, as I sought out more and more obscure websites in the quest to understand what was happening to me.

It lead me first of all to psychological knowledge, most of which I have forgotten since then, then to occult, to erotica in a strange turn of events, and then, finally, to that one website that seemed to be the key to all my questions. It was on a weird Weibo post, that kind that leaves links to websites with passwords to open pirated content, that I first encountered. Thankfully, all of my yearning gave me enough frustration to study Chinese enough to read it with a dictionary on the side, so I was able to understand what that post was about.

At first I was skeptical. It was sketchy, plus what it promised was ludicrous… a simple app that would be able to answer any question with 100% accuracy, plus it claimed to use no AI. It also promised to get some “real experience of the answer”, whatever that may mean – assuming my translation of “实际的答案经历” is even correct.

However, at that point, I was desperate to get anything conclusive from this endeavor.

So I entered my question inside the machine, in the best of my poor Chinese, and asked “為什麼我遇到很多像Liam的人？” (Why do I meet a lot of people like Liam ?). Looking back, I should have written my question using simplified characters instead of traditional characters, it might have confused the app…

When I entered the question, it simply answered “谢谢您的问题！请等一下答案经验准备好了！” (Thank you for your question ! Please wait a bit for the experience of the answer to be prepared !). I felt like I was cheated on, even though I didn’t really expect much. At least give me a paywall to be angry at, but no, it was an empty sentence, giving me no catharsis for the long search for any answer to all the Liams I saw. Of why he was still sticking in my mind, of why I couldn’t move on properly.

At that point, it was already late, so, with no catharsis, I decided that this was just not worth it. I uninstalled the app, looking back likely also a mistake, and decided to clock out for the night.

I didn’t sleep well that night, moving a lot, and never able to completely enter the realm of dreams. Instead of plunging in a seemingly instant coma, I was slowly and painfully experiencing all the hallucinations of slumber, tense and sweating.

The next day, when I woke up, nothing felt right.

The bed didn’t feel right, the room didn’t feel right, the weight didn’t feel right, the hair didn’t feel right… even the morning wood didn’t feel right. Yet… there was something undeniably familiar to everything. As if it’s inside the uncanny valley between being what is known to me and what isn’t. I stood up, the height also didn’t feel right… I walked a bit dizzily, and though I could blame my recent waking for that, the way my weight was distributed was too strange to dismiss it on this basis.

So, as any good protagonist in the erotica stories I read in my futile quest, I headed for the bathroom. The house layout wasn’t what I remembered, yet it still felt familiar and easy to navigate, so I found my way to it.

And although I already expected it, all the clues pointing to this very fact, I was still shocked when I saw my reflection.

Let me tell you, nothing, nothing can prepare you for the experience of looking at a stranger in the mirror. Not even dysphoria, I tell you.

Because it was so unsettling, seeing the one thing that is supposed to always be familiar, that is supposed to only change little by little, so slowly enough that the human brain cannot process it changing, be so radically different. To not look like oneself, to not have even the same shape, as I was suddenly buff.

And to look like Liam.

I was unable to do anything but stand, bewildered, in front of the mirror, for quite a long while, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. However, finally, I snapped out of my inaction. I automatically reached for the gel and spiked my hair up, even though I never even touched hair gel in my entire life, before going back to my bedroom to find my computer.

All I found was a laptop, but it sufficed. I go little by little to find back the trace of that Weibo post – installing a Chinese keyboard at the same time – but find little luck. Although I did find some familiar-looking webpages and links, I had a hard time finding anything…

Then, suddenly, it was 10AM, and I remembered that I was supposed to go to the gym. And that I didn’t even take the time to prepare my protein shake… God, I was so taken by my sudden transformation that I didn’t even think about the essential !

It took me until I was greeted by the gym receptionist as “Liam” to notice that I wasn’t actually supposed to work out, only the body I was in was.

It shook me, but not enough to forget to answer the receptionist as I always do. I put away my things in the locker room, and made my way to the machines, performing a well-oiled routine, going from one machine to the other automatically. It was good that everything came to me this naturally, as otherwise I would have found myself silly, standing in front of the machines wondering how they worked.

As I was working out, I was thinking on this whole… experience. Quite clearly, I am not who I used to be, nor where I used to be, yet I was acting perfectly reasonably inside the role of the one who is called Liam – that is not, to my disappointment, the Liam I knew. I only look like him. It seems that, somehow, the Liam I inhabit and I merged, letting me insert myself in the life of that Liam seamlessly, yet still keeping my shock, my interests and my wishes intact. As if I was living the life of the one I had taken the body of, only really acting like myself when the Liam I now am has no obligations.

Coming back “home”, I continued my search, and found the original app that triggered this whole thing. Yet, I couldn’t find a way to reverse what it had done, not within the app, nor inside the documentation, plus the app wouldn’t grand any other answer but “谢谢您使用我们应用��请跟朋友转转！” (Thanks for using our app, please share a bit with friends !).

So I guess I now have to live inside this alien body that is in all manners similar to my first love, even in name. I mean, there are worse fates, especially as this Liam thankfully also seems to be into men, yet I cannot help but feel unhappy about this arrangement. Although I now partly am the Liam I inhabit, I can’t help but feel like I have robbed him of his life, forcing him to sit at the back of my mind, experiencing his life in the third person. Plus, I can’t possibly get used to not being me, and especially not to looking just like the Liam of my memories.

Which lead me to my realization that motivated me to write about this.

The reason why I still find Liam everywhere in the streets (even now, inside the body of one of his look-alikes) isn’t that he has facial features rare enough to be noticeable, yet common enough to be shared by a big number of people. No, it’s the fact that I’m still thinking of him, which makes my brain look for people who look like him, whence seeing the resemblances with the Liam I knew rather than all the differences. And why do I still think of him ? The answer seems to be that I still haven’t moved on, that I’m still in love with my first love.

However, now that his face is the one that is reflected in the mirror...

Am I ever going to be able to move on and find love ?

[ineffectualdemon]

So the other day I walked in to a moment of tension between my husband and kid

It wasn't a fight but I could tell they were both getting frustrated and having trouble communicating but luckily I was able to jump in a mediate this time

The issue on hand was husband had asked Kiddo if they had fed the cat that day and Kiddo answered with "I don't know"

Kiddo is autistic with ADHD

To them just saying "I don't know" was an efficient and correct answer. They couldn't remember and it was in their mind better to be quick

Husband on the other hand felt dismissed and like Kiddo wasn't even taking the time to think about it

After talking it out with the three of us we got kiddo to understand that just saying quickly "I don't know" sounds to other people like they aren't really listening. They can still answer that they don't remember or don't know but they have to give indicators that they have heard the question and thought about it.

Examples for this scenario:

"I don't remember but I don't think so"

"I don't remember but maybe?"

"I really don't know if I did or not to be honest."

All those answers effectively equal "I dont know" but they show thought and that they listened

But tone and body language is important too

I'd you have a flat affect like me and Kiddo you have to put effort to make your voice and face more expressive (masking) and/or you need to make sure you're not saying it too fast (comes off as dismissive) and that you're looking at the person and not, for example, your phone.

If you're looking away from a person and speaking quickly and just saying "I don't know" people will think you're not really listening and be hurt and offended

I'm sharing this here because kiddo didn't know this until we had a conversation about it

Kiddo thought they were being more efficient at communicating because they were being fast and using less words. But we explained that efficiency in communication isn't about speed it's about being understood

Kiddo had some realisations from this conversation about why they were having communication problems with some of the kids at school

Anyway just a reminder that bad reactions to "I don't know" can in part be due to delivery and small changes can make it easier to communicate

This is not a fix for every situation where "I don't know" gets a negative reaction of course this is just a advice to help in some cases

And before anyone jumps on me for advising just the audhd person to change I also reminded my husband that Kiddo genuinely didn't know and that he was overestimating how much Kiddo remembered. He's also going to work on his assumptions in that regard

And for anyone wondering about the actual original question: Kiddo hadn't fed the cat. I had.