#i uh im not too good
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posting stuff i haven't posted here before the year ends or something
#im in an art regression i think idk.#generally just in a rutt i guess#anyway time for context no one asked for#i had this idea where in the 'a better world' universe#fidds does make the anti cipher suit#and ford wears it constantly (for good reason)#but as they get older it gets modified#so he never really goes out without some sort of suit#uh also just wanted to draw ciphertologist ford and blind eye fiddleford bc its a silly match up to me#fiddleford mcgucket#tate mcgucket#stanford pines#mullet stan#ig hes there too
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#illustration#trans man#oc#milomir#yuval#im finally writing down their story for my book..#Yuval is hard to be around. Often in a bad mood and makes reasons to not like everyone he meets. Excuses to not be close to people#A paranoid depressive lost in his head..But poetic and yearning when alone.#Milomir is also rough around the edges but very loyal to those he likes. Doesn't have good boundaries. He is obsessive and goes too far.#He's the fairy the other fairies are kinda like “Uh.. Dude.. Too much..” to#yuval thinks the sea is trying to kidnap him (and he's right)#milomir spent hundreds of hours crafting the wings he wears so he would look like a more acceptable fairy. He's actually a whirligig beetle#His hood covers his second set of eyes.#anyway I thought I would arrange their panels in a nice way..
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The Narrator's perspective only gets more horrifying the longer you think about it. Like, imagine being an Echo of yourself—one of many, all made to serve a very particular purpose and knowingly living on borrowed time, if 'living' is even the right word for your current state of pseudo-existence.
You've inherited the mission of a dead man—it's literally the only thing left that you can do before fading, so you sure as hell better believe in it; the alternative would be unbearable. Only you keep failing. With every loop that you don't remember, your lack of agency in this situation becomes starker—you can influence small things, sure, but it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real power, no matter how personally invested you are in the events unfolding in front of you. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to meaningfully engage with the world.
Worse—every loop you're made aware of is another time you've failed, with unimaginable consequences, though you had no control over these previous iterations of yourself and can't even learn from their mistakes. Everyone around you is operating on a shared perception of reality that you are not part of, will never be part of. After a few repetitions, you are, ironically, the least informed person in the room. All you have left to go on is an evidently outdated script. At the same time, everyone else is experiencing a contiguous version of you, comprised of parts that are, in some sense, also you, while at the same time existing at a complete remove from your current perception of self. Whatever you don't know you did—that's you now. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to define your own identity, never mind know what it is.
Even worse—this has trapped you within a stagnant hell of your own creation. Nothing you say or do really matters in terms of your own self (the rest of the world is a separate issue entirely). Anything you've come to believe—say, for totally hypothetical example, that you were wrong actually and your envisioned paradise is really a hell beyond any you had the capacity to envision—has about as much permanence as a drawing in the sand. 'You' will continue, exactly as you were, no matter how much you might like to change your behavior. Every possible future has already been set in stone. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to say anything you haven't already said.
For some reason, no part of any of this has made you feel more comfortable and at peace with the general concept of finality.
The really, truly absolute worst part, though?
There is no one for you to blame but yourself. And that's exactly what turns your story into such a tragedy.
#slay the princess#meta#my meta#slay the princess narrator#stp narrator#stp echo#for the love of god WHAT is his character tag this is a travesty#narrator sweep#natterings#stp posting#this was written as part of another much longer piece of enthusiastic narrator meta#like with screenshots and everything#but this was too good and self-contained NOT to post#in case of the very likely event where i dont finish the full thing#because unlike him i do recognize when im flirting with my own hubris#not that it ever stops me#anyway ask me about the narrator and why hes the most interesting character in stp#who is UNDERAPPRECIATED-- i mean uh#surprisingly overlooked#please there is so much that i could say
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content warning: angst, MCD
this is a redraw of this doodle
extra note:
zoom
anyways this started because someone retweeted the doodle on twitter, I looked at it and went hm I wonder how the current me would draw this, so I did just that
#its sobbing hours#Id like to think I've improved...#gotten a good consistency of my blorbos#and as for conveying The Sad™ I think I've gotten better too#still I have much to improve#baby steps though Im really proud of how this redraw :)#uh yes im also crying HAKSJDH#gummmyart#doodle#ghostsoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#angst#redraw#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw
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"WHERE IS DARRY?" Soda is on his feet before the screen door slams, Steve jumpin' off the sofa beside him.
"What is it, Pony?" Pony rounds the corner with a wide, crazed grin 'n Darry comes barrelin' down the hall. "What's wrong?"
"Darry- they fuckin' broke up!" A brief wave of confusion passes across the panicked plains of Darry's face before his jaw drops open in delighted shock.
"No." He snatches Pony's arm, leads him back into the kitchen 'n plops down at the table. "Carrie-Ann? Are you sure?" Darry leans forwards, elbows on his knees, eagerly. Pony cackles at havin' got exactly the reaction he wanted.
Steve shoots Soda a glance 'n Soda rolls his eyes fondly, crashin' back down onto the sofa. Steve shuffles around the arm, clearly listenin' in but tryin' to be the nosy allegations. "What are they on about?"
Soda cranks the volume of the TV waves a hand dismissively. "Some couple at school. God, you would think their lives depended on it the way they talk about it."
"Hush, from the peanut gallery in there." Darry shushes him from the kitchen 'n Soda wiggles his eyebrows.
"Not our fault you don't got the attention span for a good story." Soda clutches his hand to his chest in mock offense 'n it's Pony's turn to roll his eyes.
"Wait, Carrie-Ann 'n Tommy? Ain't they been goin' together for a couple years now?" Steve stops pretendin' to be indifferent, drifts into the kitchen.
"Steve, not you too!" Darry splits into a grin and Soda sticks his tongue out.
"Yeah! But only 'cause she told him she was pregnant last year! He was gonna leave I swear! I heard Jerry tell Susan in my math class." Steve scrunches his face up and Pony shakes his head earnestly.
"Well, it would serve him right. Tommy was in my English and he'd bat those stupid eyes at anythin' that moved- even when he was pinned. That Carrie girl deserved better." Steve hops up onto the counter with a firm nod 'n Soda throws himself dramatically across the couch with a groan.
The back door swings open 'n Dallas appears in the living room, glancin' into the impromptu gatherin' around the table. "Woah woah woah, y'all talkin' about me? I'm sure it's all good shit."
He ducks over to Soda, jabbin' him in the ribs and slidin' out of the way when Soda kicks at him. He misses but rolls off the couch and dives for Dallas' knees. Dally goes down hard and Soda howls his laughter.
"Nah, one of the couples up at school broke it off." Steve leans dangerously far over Pony 'n snatches one of the grandma candies Darry loves so much from the bowl.
"Who?"
"Dallas!" But they all knew it was a lost cause. If Darry 'n Pony were drama fiends, Dallas was a hound for the stuff. He was always showin' up with some new juicy tidbit. Sometimes Soda would swear Pony loved Dallas more than him solely for the fact Dallas seemed to have his nose in everythin'.
"Carrie-Ann 'n-"
"Tommy? No fuckin' way." Dallas detangles himself from Soda, shoves Steve over, 'n climbs up onto the counter. Soda shoots him a glare he misses entirely. He flops flat onto the floor, tucks his hands under his head, and refocuses on the beach flick. Or tries to.
"I heard she cheated on him." Dallas leans forward conspiratorially and Pony 'n Darry's jaws fall open in twin shocked expressions.
"No way, really!"
"I'm sorry, you're sayin' Carrie cheated on him?" Dallas raises an eyebrow haughtily and leans back on his hands.
"Swear to God."
"Wait." All four heads swivel to Soda as he sits back up, somethin' prickin' at his memory. "Tommy. Tommy Dil- somethin' right? His daddy owns the car lot close to the river, yeah?"
"Dilon, yeah." Darry leans so he can better see Soda through the door at the same time Pony says,
"Yeah, the one that looks like a Soc 'n talks like a greaser but ain't either." And Steve leans traitorously far again and adds,
"The one that thinks he's a lady-killer but nobody wants him but Carrie." Dallas puts both hands on Steve's back 'n pushes him over so he can get a good look at Soda and hoots,
"Not even his mama wanted his busted ass. That's why he only lives with his dad." Steve shoves him off and Pony momentarily whips back around with wide eyes.
"Wait, really?" Darry bats him up the side of his head, the shit talkin' goin' a hair too far for him, apparently.
"What is it, Soda?" Steve quickly redirects the focus back to him before Pony can whine 'n Soda forgets what he was gonna say completely.
"I saw him at the Dingo with Cheryl last week. 'N they weren't just holdin' hands if I'm being delicate." He wiggles his eyebrows 'n the tips of Pony's ears go all red. Dallas howls and grabs Steve who is so bewildered he forgets to shake him off.
"Cheryl? Ain't no way! I never would have-"
"Ain't she goin' with Benny?"
"Man, I thought she was catholic-"
"I swore she didn't come to this side of town- didn't wanna dirty those damn gogo boots-"
"Soda." Darry fixes his middle brother with a look that could pin him straight to the wall. Soda blinks big, innocent eyes at him. "That true?"
"Hell no." He splits into a big mischievous grin and Pony lets out an indignant wail, launchin' himself out of his chair 'n onto Soda. Soda flips him onto his back easily but Steve is on top of him before he can blink, jabbin' him in the ticklish spot under his ribs so Pony can wriggle out.
"Since when are you 'n Pony on the same side?"
"Since now! Get 'em Pone!" Steve pins Soda's arms above his head and Pony goes to town ticklin' every place he knows will make Soda holler until he's red in the face. Soda rips one hand free and Dallas comes up behind Steve, liftin' him straight off the ground with the kind of wiry strength they all forgot Dallas had.
Darry instantly takes up Pony 'n Steve's side 'n it doesn't take long until there are no sides at all- just them all rollin' around and laughin' so hard their sides all ache.
"You know, I think I get it now- that drama shit is fun!"
#AGH!!#actually having fun writing the sillies for them#i give them too much angst sometimes#i need them to be kids now#darry n pony drama hounds truther#it's Darrys' most childish habit#he is SAT for some good drama#pony n him do this shit once a week#soda thinks its sweet that theyre bonding#but that man cant focus on other ppls business for SHIT#he cant even focus on HIS business#pony tries to fill him in on lore#n hes like uh huh yeah im listening uh huh#n ponys like GOD why do i even TRY#WHERES DARRY#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#sodapop curtis#dallas winston#steve randle#the outsiders fanfiction#my writing#writers on tumblr#ALSO!!#a lil reminder my inbox is still open to one shot requests!!!
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gukgak specifically from my typing (man w/ three jobs & a creeping sense of dread)
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#I think u guys will learn very soon that if I see a child character Im imagining them Making It To Adulthood#I looooove doin future designs. simply what I do#(this is specifically for the fic Im writing yes but if the fic werent a thing I'd still do it lol)#(its enrichment. for Me)#truly I cherish the part of riz that is both deeply un-self-aware and A Bit Much#Im still figuring thea out as I write this but I think the star thing abt her is that shes cool with a suspicious amount of weird shit#shes kind of a pollyanna rn but also whenever anyone says something insane shes like haha me too#riz's jobs in this one are 1/city council treasurer (intentionally depowering this position by occupying it while goblin)#2/private investigator 3/[REDACTED]#yeah so uh. thats happening. slowly. Im prioritizing this gotdamg comic rn I want it Done but well. always good to have things to#fiddle with while on break
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like theyre like siblings part 2 for me
explaination or smth
#undertale#frisk#flowey#toriel#premaposting#siblings part 2 ksjadjakdnad i just realized how funny that sounds#aksjdakdjkasda#you can tell i kinda burnt out later#it is 12 am#give me slack#i like to think flowey was adverse to the friendship#since yknow#deja vu isnt fun when its associated with a bad memory#but eventually was kinda chillin#oh yeah this point only frisk knows he's asriel thats it#imagine your adopted child pulls up with someone who you dont recognize as their biological son#but no one tells you#i like to think that flowey overtime would kinda care about frisk more#but also be like#100000 ft wall bc this is all feels too familiar for good but more freshly bad reasons i dont like that#im sorry if this explaination barely makes sense#im kinda trynna rush this rn#but uh#click linked post for slightly more clear explaination idkdsnadkjajanska#utpyrt
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idk what people pleaser needs to hear this, but everyone at work liking you is the nightmare scenario. there is no light at the end of the tunnel doing that where everyone loves you forever. if you had to crush any parts of yourself to be likable you will forever have to keep the pressure on and you will never get to relax. you have to say no and you have to say I disagree and you have to say actually I didn't like that or I thought it was unfair and most of all you have to stop automatically agreeing before you even have a chance to think about if you do agree. it will feel very painful but it's the difference between stepping on a sharp rock and living with a small splinter in your foot for 20 years. also your coworkers liking the version of you that never complains and always agrees with them is not liking you it is actually them liking themselves which you are reflecting back to them. there is no such thing as everyone liking you. remember this or suffer the consequences
#good idea generator#this post is actually for me. idk what any of you all have going on at work#this is for me to look at next week before i go in on friday morning#relatedly a coworker of mine recently called me a people pleaser which. for some reason. was jarring#i would have previously neverrr called myself a people pleaser#what i would do instead is just list out a bunch of people pleasing traits as personality traits#and i had simply never made that connection. so when she said that i was like. oh damn. uh oh#anyway im trying to have a personality at work now. not too much! i believe in the worksona#but enough so that i do not wither away and/or compromise my actual beliefs so ppl like me more
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jaime turning women down constantly more bc he is very monogamous and in love with someone else right now for the first time and is also kinda scared of actually having sex with someone other than cersei is sm better to me than “i respect the kg vows of chastity so intensely rn actually because i changed into a good and serious person” or whatever lol
#i truly dgaf about that bffr jaime dude#like its a stupid vow that says nothing about u as a person lmfao#him in the bath with pia thinking of brienne like u r not fooling anybody honestly#like i truly do think its more copium and not being honest with himself tbfh#like he had a rationalization when pia came into his bed in asos too but then it was purely ‘i only love cers i would never’#and with cat it was so funny when he bluffing and was like uh i cant marry bc of my vows but i could still service u😉😉#he would have pissed himself if he was called on that bluff but only bc he would be cheating on cers and have sex with another woman#man that fucked his twins in a sept next to his sons dead body the moment he returned caring about chastity vows#his development isnt really about keeping every vow ever when most of it is fraudery anyway#like pls he is not keeping his vow to his king rn really 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i think the vows and respecting them has a deeper meaning thats the whole point which ones do u keep and prioritize and why#like weve been thru this 80x being a real vowhead is not what makes u a good person 😭#deleting ur individuality and personal life to be an honorpillhead lol#the vow to cat has meaning the elite bodyguard vow to never fuck has zero meaning 😭#he was ready to break the no marriage vow w cers pls#im not saying this bc of a shipper endgame in mind i find volcel jaime hilarious its just i dont like it as proof of his development#like ill be real guys sex positive warrior gurm is not pushing the idea that keeping ur chastity vows is what honor is about#like i get that he wants to be better and he is figuring out what that really means but
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if i had been given the choice, i still would have chosen you.
hey so i'm totally normal about the lovers reversed
#persona 5#goro akechi#persona 5 protagonist#akeshu#digital art#sketch#viala and salex have already seen this but i am TOO TIRED FROM ZINES to Finish It(tm) so. here. sketch.#lovers is so good gang. it's so good. part 3 is gonna wrap up on the first and i'm so excited im banging pots and pans together#uh. if you somehow don't know of it do heed the tags but i PROMMY it is worth it
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drew kris :)))
#got too lazy for the background so here have some vague glowy effects#yay for pinterest because i still cant anatomy without a reference#oh lord i cant find the reference image i used for the pose uh just know that im actually not that good at anatomy pls#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#digital art#digital illustration#my art#deltarune#kris dreemurr
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congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man
#the heron giveth#the terror#alright here come the funny tags#bridglar#briglar#people spell it both ways i think. ill do both hujst to be safe#henry peglar#john bridgens#uh um um. uh#peglar x bridgens#THIS FEELS WEIRD. TO TYPE#bridgens x peglar#alright im done good GRIEF#this isnt even that extreme compared to the shit people are putting on ao3 about these two. god.#anyways hi ive watched this show maybe 7 or 8 times? only just recently have i gotten hooked on them#the scripts make me go nuts too. ''they were lovers in their pasts'' shut the fuck up dont say that to me ill start crying#this is the most risque thing i have ever posted on here#getting out of the fandom game for a while rewired my brain i have to get weird again. and boy do they make me feel weird !#i have a number of terror mutuals who r gonna go nuts over this. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me style#this looks blurry posting it hopefully tumblr doesnt crunch the shit out of the quality anyways im done typing goodbye
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❤LOVE-LETTER-FOR-MY-HERO.TXT.vbs❤
i imagine an "amy.exe" functions like the infamous ILOVEYOU virus. spreading so sweetly under such a delicate disguise of love... (bonus points for y2k)
details + alts under cut :)
these are the looping msgs in the background, based on the og virus :)
og sketch + an alt! i've got a bunch of alts for this haha
#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#sth#sonic.exe#sonamy#sonamy... kind of. um. depending on youur interpretation of uhhh. um. uh#no longer judging f/n/f fans this was so much fun to do. sometimes you need to draw people covered in blood with no eyes.#i used to draw this weird eyeless amy as a kid... thats what this started as#i finally did it. u little creepy girl. here she is.#:)#its a good thing sonic has such good tech knowledge and doesnt click spam. otherwise hed be in trouble hahahaha (sweats)#dfjdsjhjdsfhkjlds wait is tails the key to the .exes. 'he dies first' bro hes an engineer... he can take care of a computer worm from 2000#tails: -_- sonic quit downloading evil exe versions of yourself... its not good for you...#sonic: BUT THEYRE SO FUN!!!!!!!! 😁😁 -> he has bricked 8 computers like this#anywya#drawn 2 (two) things today!! insane!!!!! and i even like em both!!! wack! wack wack wack!!!#^_^ ok im gonna drink juice now#so tailspilled ahha-> i need to take myy medicine too.#ALSO AMY.EXE COSTING 6BILLION DOLLARS IN DAMAGES IF SHES LIKE ILOVEYOU... SHES A HUSTLER... ROUGE NEEDS TO CONTACT HER ASAP#my nyart
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cw// implied character death, double life nonsense
because you are love itself.
#my art#trafficblr#double life#divorce quartet#<-- insane about how scott killed pearl in limlife.#this comic has been sitting unfinished in my files for a good month its def not finished to my usual quality but god it needed to be done#so uh scott... yeah. i like villain scott but not pure evil scott. i like a scott whos scared of being loved and manipulates others to spar#himself the pain. i like a scott who ditched pearl because their friendship was actually becoming real and when the server gods confirmed i#with DL he freaked out a bit and ran off.#ofc u can interpret this comic however u want but i was just thinking way too hard abt smajhor#i feel like often ppl get divided into scott did nothing wrong vs scott is pure evil alot of the time#which is understandable cus like i said with fanart/fic u only have so much space to show someones personality#but idk i like him all angsty. like i know im a bad person but to keep myself safe i need to keep being like this.#hes so blorbo *puts him in a blender*#i hate him *wraps him up in a blanket and takes him home*#cw implied death#cw implied violence#scott#pearl
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How do you feel about concepts for redeemed/good guy Ganondorf? I don't remember if you've said anything on it before, so I am curious to see what sorts of thoughts you have to share or if you've thought about the idea before (especially since you've worked on SoF so I assume you've thought about many possibilities of a "what if" Zelda game)
For my part: I have mixed feelings, and I think a lot of concepts end up being "I want a buff guy to ship Link with"; I also think a lot of criticisms of the racism in many depictions of Ganondorf have merit (though I don't speak on them in depth because I'm white) and would love to see a more favorable/complex portrayal of him and other characters of color in LoZ. I personally haven't seen many versions of good guy/redeemed Ganondorf that really engage with the base structure of the LoZ games but I would love to see one that did.
Anyways I love your blog and analysis and I love seeing someone who finds analysis as inherently a part of their engagement with fandom as me, it's really nice :) I hope you're having a good day
I never posted about it much but sof did actually have a somewhat redeemed ganondorf, or as close to "good guy" as i'm willing to go with him in my own writing. sof was/is very much about me exploring the religious aspects of the lore and issues of fate vs self-determination, so my ganondorf was a much younger version of the character (similar in age to link and zelda) born into an extremist hylia-worshipping doomsday cult. in sof, ganondorf finds the remains of DEMISE'S sword and believes it to be the master sword, so when it starts ordering him around he follows the orders without question, believing that he's hearing the voice of hylia, and basically everyone in his life affirms to him that this is the correct choice and he's hylia's chosen one. Because of the intensity of the religious doctrine he was raised with, he has no problem following the sword's orders even when they become progressively more and more violent, and by the time link and zelda get to him he's nearly past the point of no return. (this is also partially a product of the setting I chose to put sof in--it's one of if not the first cycles after sksw, so the hyruleans' understanding of the reincarnation cycle and their own general history isn't super solid.) So that's my personal take on a "good guy" ganondorf, and, i think, the way i'd like to see it done in canon if ever they choose to go that route--because loz deals so much with the concepts of fate and cycles, I think leaning into a ganondorf who isn't inherently evil but can't escape the fate that waits for him is a fun way to take it.
#im not into ganon/link for about a million different reasons but yeah a good 80% of the good guy ganondorf stuff out there is just#give that twink an agressive top with a huge package. like ok guys. happy for you. but uh. actually nvm im gonna keep my mouth shut#asks#i do intend to end sof with ganon alive btw. if i ever end it (unlikely)#but like. with sof ganondorf my thought was like. this is a kid who genuinely believes he's doing everything right#he doesn't see stealing the sages as kidnapping. he believes hes performing a ritual to revive his long-dead goddess#he believes LINK is the heretic being ordered around by a fake sword claiming to be the original#and by the time he starts being presented with irrefutable evidence that he's wrong he's in too deep#and he HAS to keep going because he can't admit that everything he's done up until now was based on lies#his crisis of faith becomes a literal life-and-death situation for the entire kingdom basically
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ok google voltron legendary defender season 6 episode 5 the black paladins free online watch where
#vld#vld fanart#kuron vld#voltron#clone shiro#my art#kuronposting#(i did this whole thing with just the lasso tool bc uh um. bc i like tormenting myself apparently. so many layers.............. by god..)#originally i also wanted to include keith somewhere in the bg but ehhhhhh im too lazy. just imagine hes there.#also i think the face on this one turned out p good. i think i did an okay job of staying true to his in-show face shape for once:)#i usually kinda struggle w that im sure you noticed lmaooo at least this time i tried#tho i do like the way i draw him n other clones normally! its just nice to try something diffrent once in a while#also yea he is leaning nonchalantly on a clone pod. just wanted to point it out bc i had fun doin the glass effects w the lasso tool#also also the arm design he gets for like five seconds in the episode is sooooo annoying to drawwww its so complex WHYYYYY#so i kinda just did whatever. eyeballed it even
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