#i turned this in as my graduation work
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This is the thing I worked on for the past 2 months.
I love her
#i turned this in as my graduation work#what is my life#glados#portal game#portal#portal 2#my art#art#fanart#glados fanart#portal fanart#school work
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POV they just told their da shixiong on you
#pov you’re boutta get your ass beat by a 4 ft of kickass#the image of these two tall muscular demons struggling in battle and turning to the tiniest member in their group for help is so funny to me#swk: I heard you were bullying my brothers >:T#and he’s like half their size glaring up at you#would shit bricks personally#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#journey to the west fanart#digital art#my art#sorry I haven’t posted anything substantial in a while#it’s my last semester and I’m really tryna stay on top of work so I can finally graduate or2#got this joke out tho lol#can you tell I really love my design of swk#I’m gonna pin that design cuz I want more people to look at it#I’m real proud of it sorry#oh right#zhu bajie#sha wujing#jttw zhu bajie#jttw sha wujing#oughhhh my back hurts… (<= old man)
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#why no one told me that trying to get in the “grown up life” is so stressful when you have zero experience in a real work#All the skills you have are not enough#At the same time you didn't have rest at all after graduating because of the outside pressure#And I feel like I became deadly annoying#Let me complain a little bit I swear to god this is like 2 time after college when I want to complain at something I'm not that strong#What do you mean there is no sign “We want YOU as our worker!” ahagsha funny#I have to learn about 2 new programms on a basic level at least#Learn new things on Toon Boom#Prepare different portfolios when turns out I barely have something I can show#I was thinking too little and now I barely can think and I start being irritated at myself yet can do nothing since my brain rebels#Okayyy just 2 more months to see if something will turns out good out of what I will be doing
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congration
you done it
#collapses to the ground and turns into 32 perfectly cut tomahawk steaks on impact#today was. a lot of things skjdflgjdfgh#i didn't think it was possible to pull your pectoral muscles just. sitting down.#but i guess that's what happens when your college packs you guys like sardines for the ceremony#i'm still not free yet ! ! ! !#i have a major portfolio project to finish (unrelated to degree) ! ! ! !#but the longest leg of the journey is finally complete and will ensure i can at least get my foot in the door now#god though. i'm tired. i've been at this for like 8 years now.#what pursuing a degree part time while working and also dealing with sudden trauma will do to a man#also weird to think that i am just. no longer a student now.#i'll be a student again in like 2 or 4 years when i go back for my next degree but like#damnb. ya boy graduated college.
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Me after switching to homeschool, effectively leaving all my friends and my romantic partner to fend for themselves, so I can stop having mental breakdowns in the middle of class:
At least I can write more tsams fic now :)
#tsams#sun and moon show#sams#yeah....#Um....#There are other reasons too#vent#kinda#Been extra active on here lately because I'm sad and I'm tryna distract myself#all my friends are really sad...#So's my partner...#I feel like I betrayed them#But i'll have more time to work and can graduate faster now#I'll have money to move in with my partner once I turn 18#so there's that#tw vent
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Fretting. Sending my Switch in to get repaired and they say they can’t guarantee my save data and I have no way to back it up.
Then found a horror story on Reddit about losing all their save data and I’m really anxious now.
#ramblies#it’s gonna be a week without it and 120 out of pocket#which I can afford thanks to a graduation gift from my folks but it still is just baffling#it was working just fine then suddenly wouldn’t turn back on after I took a break#the thought of losing all my data is…emotional#fingers crossed I suppose
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Do you have any OCs that you haven't drawn before?
that i haven't EVER drawn before?? nah. my oc creation process is 100% a doodle-out approach, i get a design first and then i think about who the fuck this guy is lol
that i haven't drawn on THIS blog? yeah, i believe so. my college capstone project was a comic concept with a decent sized cast, and I don't think I have visited any of them here! maybe I will pick back up with them at some point, but unfortunately school being school did put kind of a nasty aftertaste on all my guys, PLUS there are some design things I would probably do differently now. so maybe y'all will see the reworked and refined versions someday!
#not art#not dailies#its kinda funny the premise of the comic was like#five college kids move into a big old house together because the rent is shockingly low#and then it turns out that not only is it haunted but its fucking CURSED and kills all its residents#so they end up working together with the ghosts of the former curse victims to try and break the curse#because they cant afford to break the lease#but then after graduating and leaving the project for a couple years#i too had to face the Living Space Wants Me Dead And Landlord Is NOT Very Understanding About It demons#when i got carjacked and my roommate got their catalytic converter stolen and a bunch of shit all at once in the apartment building#but we got off relatively unscathed from that one luckily#i DID feel like i jinxed myself with that whole premise tho life imitates art i fuckin guess#anyway i think i could really channel that energy into the project now if i had to start it again lmao
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Kinda weird but this is still like one of my fave things I've ever drawn lol, it's just a background study from Shawn James' cover of Arkansas by Damien Jurado (there was a character here too once iykyk lol) but I was Going Through It at the time and painting this was soooo cathartic
#it was the first time that i didnt hate drawing a background lol#and also the song is like a melancholic reflection on a relationship that fell apart#and ill always remember a comment someone made when they reblogged this saying it captured the feeling of the dog days being over#and i was like DAMN wait thats exactly what this is#i had just graduated college and was working overtime and living back with my parents and not doing well with it#and was going through the thought process of like#wait. is this all there is? i just work for the next 40 something years?#the realization that i had taken summer days like the one i painted here for granted nauseated me#and i didnt really recognize it until someone commented that and i was like girl oh naur#for the record working is not all there is#for example: i just got laid off LOL#but real real like there is so much whimsy and joy and freedom in adult life you just gotta make sure you give yourself the time for it#i didnt until like. 2 years ago lol#anyway. normal tags now#painting#study#digital#uhhhhhhh#digital plein air#maybe#its not a secret to anybody who knows what i used to draw that S**** V****** was originally the focal point of this image lol#but i kinda never liked how he turned out and always thought the background looked way better than the character for once#those background leaves could be way better looking if i spent more time on them but i was so thrilled with how the rocks looked#that i was just like alright pack it up boys
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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Mass Effect really is that one series that will always have my heart and soul
#i know i've been away for a while#i keep popping in and out#i got into mass effect right before i graduated college and since i've been out i've been focusing on my career#work has me traveling around so much#and on top of that my father just passed away from cancer#so things have been pretty hectic for the past year or so#mass effect is what i always turn to when i need some uplifting#my post
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update on the commission my Latin teacher gave me!! I think it’s coming along great!!!! I suck at drawing bulky mooscled men (it’s a turnoff for me, I like the lean muscles, so I never draw bulky men) this is a great learning experience and I think I’m getting it. Spent so long on the hands tho XD
#My poor latin teacher#I always turned in my hw late#Good thing I’m graduated#She loves me still tho#She teaches to each of the student’s learning styles#Best teacher ever#She legit sat me down and she got to know my learning struggles and she accommodated my testing anxiety and helped me work through it#She made sure she knew what my learning style was and how to help my strengths and weaknesses#She is a neurodivergent student’s DREAM.
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Officially cleared for graduation 🫠
#turned in my chromebook#they said I was clear#I’ve been working my Ass off the past two weeks to fix my grades#I did it#ugh#i have graduation practice tomorrow and Wednesday is the actual day
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my birthday is in 8 days and i am n nnotttt feeling it . at all.
#i work the day before and day aftwr so i cant really go anywhere#i have nobody to invite if i could👍 turning 21 going to bed at 7pm and not drinking with no friends im like the ultimate loser#😁#i was planning to finish my meet the artist before my bday so i can make like a yearly thing with it#but i havent been able to sit down and color anything in forever#art has been so shit lately. i just sit down and scribble and then get mad and stop#playing sdv like an addict for a week and then completely dropped it#reading random manga i found in my closet (love hina)#i really am like . not feeling it#im off center#i want a new tat but i got dentist bills next month#and i really need a new car. i think mines about to explode#and I really need to go on testosterone#but i cant even go to the doctor for my migranes#so how am i gonna ask for hormones#everything is baby steps away but im too scared to even try#i couldve been on hrt since i graduated#i couldve been trying to get into schools#i couldve . fuck idk? actually learned guitar by now? instead of dropping it and letting it rot in my closet#I've been on fucking autopilot since 9th grade#last tkme i had friends.
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Memento Mori
#Showin off my class of 2024 cap cause I worked hard on it and I’m very proud of how it turned out#class of 2024#will wood#will wood the normal album#2econd 2ight 2eer#graduation#graduation cap
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ykw tumblr gets me gushing about this too. SUMMER SCHOOL CLASSES OFFICIALLY DONE!!
Im so fucking happy man . this is genuinely the first time since MIDDLE SCHOOL that I've gotten through an entire school year without failing a single class. if all goes according to plan i start school back up in august and graduate in december of 2024 :)
#im so glad i gave online another chance#with a school thats actually MADE to be online#this was so fucking worth the risk#my only regret is i wish i had done it sooner#public school fucked me up but. honestly i havent been this optimistic about my future maybe ever.#like i still have trauma to work through because of public school but like#things actually feel like everything is gonna turn out ok and go according to plan for once#not to mention i had completely given up all hope of graduating on time#and . here i am#and im not even stressed out of my mind passing by the skin of my teeth#I fucking got covid and was unable to work on summer school for a solid WEEK and i still did it#a year ago that would of fucking made me fail the semester#let alone summer school where it takes up a third of the time i have#but i fucking got a 91% in one class and passed the other#and the only reason i dont have a higher grade is because i dont care enough about pe to want one#wyrm.txt
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any time there’s some kind of staff event everyone comes to me and is like why don’t you go to these things but they always 100% of the time make you sign up for them with your birth name. and just do not want to do that. like on one hand it’s not a huge deal but it’s also so stupid and unnecessarily humiliating and it would be so easy to fix? they post my birth name all over everything anyway so it isn’t as if no one knows but jfc i don’t actually want to compound the issue for no reason at all
#i didnt go to my own graduation for the same reason#idk everyone is always like oh those things suck anyway and they are not strictly wrong#but it it actually so isolating to be ~voluntarily turning down all these things#sorry like ik everyone loves it when people are transgressive and visibly trans or w/e but i dont want that dhdjjdmd#i would like to go to work and be paid then come home
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