#and was going through the thought process of like

[sunnywalnut]

I also would like to add as someone who takes medication- ask other people if it seems like your meds are working.

Especially if you take antipsychotics/stimulant drugs.

A lot of meds do have side effects that can be pretty mean. Or not work at all. But they also could just be working so good that you don't notice because you're so used to struggling that getting used to a new normal is ALSO a struggle.

"but why would you stop taking meds if they're working?" We're human. If something worked, and has worked for a while, we don't think "oh goodness I should keep doing this even though there's no increase of Good just to make sure the Bad doesn't come back!"

We think "damn this thing really isn't working the same as it once did. Idk if it works anymore. Maybe I should stop"

And to that I tell you WAIT!!

Talk to your roommates, your friends, your family. Ask them if they remember how you were struggling before your medication. Ask them if it seems like you're struggling still or what symptoms might look like they're starting to show up again.

"but how would they know what goes on in my brain?" Ohoho my friend that's the wonderful part! Mental health HAS PHYSICAL SIGNS!!

Forgetfulness can show up as losing your keys or phone even though they're in the same chair beside you.

Clustered brainspace/"confused thoughts"/brain static can look like struggling to do house chores or having to tear things apart in order to sort through them correctly or even changing tasks seven different times even though they don't make sense to anyone including you.

Depression or problems with executive function can look like not being able to take a shower even when you sit still for half an hour obsessing and feeling guilty about it.

And of course this is only three examples. There's so much more that could happen and show up in different ways(which I absolutely encourage people to add on their own) but please. Before you decide to go off your meds, go through the process of figuring out if they ACTUALLY don't work

Lest you turn out like me, three years of no meds on a steady decline.

Thank you.

Local PSA: invisible disability does NOT mean you can live your life like a "normal person" invisible disability meant that if a stranger looks at you in public they wouldn't know what's going on.

Like if a wheelchair user were to decide to run into a corner store to grab a candy bar because they know that their legs can last that long without, the cashier wouldn't know.

Or someone with "mild" scoliosis walking upright through their shoulder leans slightly to the left. Maybe they just have bad posture. The lady in the next isle thinks to herself.

The person with EDS or POTS or whatever sort of condition wearing compression gloves out and about. Perhaps it's a fashion statement?

Or what about the people with intestinal issues? They can look like "normal people" too.

You never know what someone is going through.

You never know what they might need to survive or if they're on the edge of a flare up or even if they are currently going through one just by one look.

I think both disabled and non disabled need to realize this. You're not "no longer disabled" because you can "live without" disability aids. They're there to help you. To make your life easier. If living without a cane is going to make it more likely you'll fall over and hurt yourself, use the cane.

If you need to sit down to do dishes or cut vegetables because you need to save your legs for taking out the trash, sit down.

If you need a shower chair because you don't know if you'll pass out, use the shower chair.

People are going to judge you regardless for multiple reasons out of your control.

I'd rather they judge you while you're being safe.

You don't need to struggle to be "normal."

You can just be you.

However that looks for you.

Use your disability aids.

[majikkulu]

━━ ❝MASTERLIST❞

these  are  my  personal  thoughts  on  how  moon  signs  experience  grief.  i'm  not  a  professional  astrologer,  so  they  may  not  resonate  with  everyone—take  them  with  a  grain  of  salt.  consider  the  different  houses,  aspects,  and  degrees!

if you have any astrology post suggestions, feel free to drop them in my ask box, and i’ll make it happen! xoxo.

ARIES MOON people  with  an  aries  moon  feel  grief  like  a  wildfire  —it  burns  bright  and  fast, consuming  them  in  an  instant.  the  emotions  hit  hard,  often  bursting  out  as  anger  or  frustration.  they  might  act  on  impulse,  chasing  anything  that  promises  even  a  moment  of  relief.  sitting  still  with  their  feelings  is  not  their  style.  instead,  they  dive  into  distractions,  piling  on  activities  to  keep  moving,  to  escape.  patience  isn’t  their  strong  suit;  they  want  to  push  through  the  pain,  outrun  it  if  they  can.  but  if  they  don’t  slow  down  and  face  it,  those  buried  emotions  will  eventually  rise  to  the  surface.  still,  there’s  a  fierce  bravery  in  their  approach—they’re  not  afraid  to  confront  their  grief  when  the  time  comes.

TAURUS MOON when  grief  strikes,  natives  find  comfort  in  the  familiar—comfort  food,  cozy  shows,  or  anything  that  nurtures  their  senses.  they  seek  solace  in  life's  simple  pleasures,  those  things  that  make  them  feel  grounded  and  alive.  their  healing  process  is  slow  and  steady,  often  with  resistance  to  fully  facing  the  pain.  they  prefer  to  process  it  alone,  but  they  don’t  mind  the  gentle  support  of  loved  ones  if  it  feels  right.  indulgence  can  become  part  of  their  healing—a  way  to  find  temporary  relief  through  spending  or  enjoying  life's  luxuries.  when  alone,  they  might  have  emotional  breakdowns,  retreating  into  isolation  to  soothe  their  soul.  they  can  get  caught  in  cycles  of  obsessive  thoughts  about  their  grief,  but  even  through  it  all,  they  remain  calm  and  composed  on  the  outside.  letting  go  of  attachments  is  a  difficult  task  for  them,  and  the  pain  can  linger  long  after  the  initial  wound.

GEMINI MOON emotions  for  a  gemini  moon  are  often  scattered  and  all  over  the  place.  they  tend  to  communicate  their  feelings  openly,  seeking  to  make  sense  of  them  through  words  and  conversation.  talking  to  friends or siblings can  be  a  source  of  comfort,  helping  them  process  the  chaos.  however,  their  tendency  to  overthink—thanks  to  their  mercury  influence—can  sometimes  prevent  them  from  fully  experiencing  the  raw  vulnerability  of  grief,  as  it  requires  slowing  down  and  being  still,  something  gemini  moons  aren't  comfortable  with.  they  make  excellent  storytellers,  especially  when  sharing  their  grief,  using  words  to  weave  their  experience  into  something  relatable.  while  they  share  some  similarities  with  virgo  moons  (both  ruled  by  mercury),  gemini  moons  have  a  lighter,  more  adaptable  energy.  they’re  often  looking  for  distractions,  keeping  busy  to  avoid  being  overwhelmed  by  their  emotions.

CANCER MOON natives  with  a  cancer  moon  are  deeply  attached  to  their  past,  often  carrying  the  weight  of  old  pain,  even  from  years  ago.  the  memories  of  loss  can  still  affect  them  profoundly,  and  they  may  retreat  into  their  shell,  waiting  for  the  right moment  to  face  it.  loss,  for  them,  triggers  deep  insecurities  about  their  emotional  security  and  safety.  they  experience  grief  with  immense  sensitivity  and  moodiness,  feeling  things  on  such  a  profound  level  that  it’s  almost  overwhelming.  their  emotional  depth  is  intense,  as  if  their  feelings  move  like  the  ocean—constant,  powerful,  and  ever-shifting.  they  revisit  the  memories  of  grief  repeatedly,  feeling  it  deeply  each  time.  their  nurturing  energy,  always  caring  for  others,  can  sometimes  leave  their  own  emotional  needs  unmet.  they  might  get  stuck  in  the  sadness,  struggling  to  let  go  when  it’s  time  to  heal,  often  holding  onto  the  past  longer  than  necessary.

LEO MOON grief  for  a  leo  moon  feels  like  a  dimmed  spotlight,  as  if  a  vital  part  of  their  inner  light  has  been  snuffed  out.  they  process  these  heavy  emotions  through  creative  expression—it’s  their  way  of  staying  true  to  themselves.  whether  it’s  art,  writing,  or  sharing  their  feelings  openly,  they  take  pride  in  turning  vulnerability  into  something  beautiful.  their  emotions  often  come  with  a  touch  of  drama,  but  that’s  only  because  they  feel  everything  so  deeply.  comfort  comes  from  the  warmth  of  loved  ones  or  the  soothing  embrace  of  music,  both  of  which  help  them  reconnect  to  their  heart.  yet,  despite  their  expressive  nature,  they  might  struggle  to  admit  the  depth  of  their  pain  to  others,  leaving  them  feeling  momentarily  disconnected  from  their  true  self.  (as  a  moon  in  the  5th  house,  i’ve  personally  channeled  grief  through  writing  posts  on  tumblr  and  diving  into  music—it’s  an  authentic  release  for  this  placement.)

VIRGO MOON  natives  with  a  virgo  moon  take  a  practical,  almost  analytical  approach  to  grief.  they’re  always  searching  for  the  why  and  how,  trying  to  make  sense  of  it  in  a  logical  way.  while  this  resembles  the  sagittarius  moon’s  quest  for  answers,  virgo’s  focus  is  more  on  details  and  practical  analysis.  they  might  even  wonder  if  they’re  grieving  "the  right  way,"  as  they  tend  to  overthink  the  process.  self-judgment  runs  deep,  especially  when  reflecting  on  the  past—they  may  blame  themselves  or  feel  like  they’re  at  fault.  vulnerability  is  hard  for  them  to  show,  so  they  often  hide  their  pain  from  others.  as  a  coping  mechanism,  they  may  dive  into  tasks  that  feel  within  their  control—organizing  things  that  don’t  really  need  organizing  or  getting  lost  in  practical  chores,  just  to  take  the  edge  off.  it’s  their  way  of  feeling  grounded  amidst  the  chaos.

LIBRA MOON natives  with  a  libra  moon  are  deeply  emotional,  even  if  they  don’t  always  show  it.  they  often  find  comfort  in  the  presence  of  loved  ones,  as  it  helps  bring  a  sense  of  closure  and  balance.  leaning  on  their  lovers  or  family  members  for  emotional  support  feels  natural  to  them,  as  they  prefer  to  share  their  pain  rather  than  carry  it  alone.  (ariana  grande,  for  example,  has  this  placement  and  has  been  open  about  her  emotional  experiences.)  however,  libra  moons  tend  to  prioritize  others'  needs  over  their  own,  which  can  lead  to  suppressing  their  own  emotions.  there’s  often  a  resistance  to  being  emotionally  authentic,  as  showing  vulnerability  feels  like  a  weakness  they’d  rather  avoid.  they  dislike  conflict,  so  any  hint  of  emotional  turmoil  is  usually  brushed  aside.  in  an  effort  to  distract  themselves  from  their  own  pain,  they  might  focus  on  caring  for  others  instead  of  dealing  with  their  own  grief.

SCORPIO MOON for  natives  with  a  scorpio  moon,  grief  is  deeply  engraved  in  their  soul.  it’s  not  shocking  to  them,  but  it  still  hurts,  leaving  an  indelible  mark.  every  time  they  grieve,  it  transforms  them,  reshaping  who  they  are.  they  tend  to  experience  grief  in  private,  diving  into  the  depths  of  their  emotions,  uncovering  painful  truths  they  wish  they  hadn’t  discovered.  for  them,  pain  becomes  a  path  to  personal  growth,  often  channeled  into  spiritual  practices  or  intense  self-reflection  as  a  way  to  move  on  or  find  closure.  even  after  they’ve  seemingly  moved  on,  they  hold  onto  the  pain  tightly,  as  if  trying  to  control  it.  grief  feels  deeply  intense,  enabling  them  to  access  the  darkest  corners  of  their  mind.  this  intensity  often  sparks  spiritual  awakenings,  but  it  can  feel  overwhelming  at  times.  (i  also  feel  like  this  resonates  with  moon-pluto  aspects.)  their  transformation  and  understanding  of  life  and  death  go  beyond  what  others  can  comprehend.  the  person  they  were  before  grief  may  no  longer  exist.  they  prefer  to  work  through  their  grief  alone,  as  it  is  a  deeply  personal  journey.  grief  acts  as  their  catalyst,  and  they  intuitively  understand  the  cycles  of  life  and  death.

SAGITTARIUS MOON grief  in  a  sagittarius  moon  often  hides  behind  a  smile—outwardly  optimistic,  but  with  emotions  subtly  written  across  their  face.  these  individuals  rarely  show  their  feelings  outright,  instead  channeling  their  pain  into  big  questions like why  did  this  happen? or what  does  it  mean?  they  seek  closure  through  philosophy  and  spirituality,  exploring  different  perspectives  to  make  sense  of  their  loss.  humor  becomes  their  shield,  a  way  to  mask  the  weight  of  their  emotions  while  keeping  the  world  at  arm's  length.  yet,  beneath  it  all,  they  may  struggle  to  fully  accept  the  situation  as  it  is.  for  them,  healing  often  comes  through  a  journey  of  discovery,  searching  for  answers  to  bring  peace  to  their  restless  heart.

CAPRICORN MOON for  natives  with  a  capricorn  moon,  grief  runs  deep—often  deeper  than  with  taurus  or  virgo  moons.  it’s  serious  for  them,  something  they  keep  private  and  internalized.  they  try  to  suppress  their  emotions,  appearing  calm  and  composed  as  if  nothing  is  wrong.  carrying  the  weight  of  grief  on  their  shoulders,  they  prefer  not  to  lean  on  others  for  support.  during  this  process,  they  can  come  across  as  cold  or  even  intimidating,  shutting  off  their  vulnerability.  to  feel  it  would  mean  showing  weakness,  and  that’s  something  they  often  struggle  with.  their  grief  can  become  overwhelming,  yet  they  tend  to  delay  the  grieving  process,  holding  it  back  until  they  can  no  longer  ignore  it.

AQUARIUS MOON natives  with  an  aquarius  moon  often  seem  unbothered  by  grief,  even  though  they  do  feel  it—just  not  in  the  same  intense  way  as  others.  their  response  is  much  more  detached,  creating  emotional  distance  almost  immediately  from  whatever  brings  them  pain  or  loss.  they  may  try  to  see  the  situation  from  a  broader  perspective,  often  focusing  on  how  it  impacts  society  as  a  whole  rather  than  their  personal  experience.  this  detachment  forms  a  barrier  between  them  and  their  emotions,  preventing  them  from  fully  engaging  with  their  grief.  they  tend  to  act  like  nothing  is  wrong,  sometimes  pushing  the  pain  out  of  their  mind  (as  i’ve  been  told).  they  don’t  form  emotional  attachments  the  same  way  others  do,  which  can  make  their  grief  feel  more  rational  and  composed.  while  this  helps  them  manage,  it  can  also  lead  to  misunderstandings  and  isolation.  the  gap  between  their  mind  and  heart  makes  it  hard  for  them  to  connect  deeply,  but  their  objective  approach  to  grief  can  be  beneficial,  especially  if  they  ever  choose  to  help  others  navigate  loss.

PISCES MOON natives  with  a  pisces  moon  experience  grief  in  a  deeply  spiritual  way  (no  surprise  there,  right?).  being  around  others  who  are  grieving  can  be  especially  painful  for  them,  as  they  absorb  the  emotional  energy  of  those  around  them.  it  becomes  overwhelming,  and  sometimes  the  grief  they  feel  isn’t  even  their  own—it’s  the  energy  they’ve  taken  in.  to  cope,  they  may  retreat  into  escapism,  whether  through  sleep,  creative  expression,  or  spiritual  practices.  though  they  might  try  to  avoid  dealing  with  their  emotions,  it’s  not  something  they  can  easily  outrun—it  often  finds  them  in  their  dreams.  when  they  grieve,  they  feel  ungrounded,  as  if  they’re  adrift  in  the  tide.  like  cancers,  their  emotions  can  shift  like  the  ocean—sometimes  calm,  sometimes  a  raging  storm.  they  experience  feelings  on  a  heightened  level,  but  their  ability  to  transform  pain  into  something  beautiful  is  nothing  short  of  mesmerizing.

[lavenderprose]

Emmrich is a morning person and Rook is only a morning person under duress, which becomes only a minor issue after the gods are finally dead because Rook's ideal wake up time is roughly noon, and Emmrich's up at the asscrack of dawn every day whether he works or not.

It's six thirty AM and Rook's face-down on the bed, titties out and hair splayed across three pillows, and Elgar'nan breathed this last breath less than a week ago. Emmrich gave the various factions of Thedas exactly three days to demand Rook's attention and, on the morning of the fourth day, grabbed Rook with one hand and Manfred with the other and asked the Caretaker if there was an Eluvian that might deposit one anywhere in the area of the Cumberland countryside.

Emmrich apparently maintains a small country house here, for 'Whatever occassion might arise' (demented) and it's modest but pretty. Manfred trampled straight into the rose garden when they got here and hasn't emerged since, but Emmrich claims that's normal for him. Rook personally believes that Manfred, even, is still processing their mutual ordeal, but she's content to let him do it with the caterpillars and the rose petals. Not like a skeleton can be pricked by a thorn.

The moment they arrived, Emmrich sought out the housekeeper and told her that her services would not be required for the coming week, and to stand by on the subject of next week as well.

"Go celebrate the world not ending, Helga!" he'd said, maybe a bit too loud and manic, as he closed what was surely much more than a week's salary into her hand. Knowing Emmrich, there was already a very robust system in place to assure that his housekeeper received her generous salary every week--this was merely some sort of consolation pay for the very difficult task of being given a week of vacation.

Helga was Elven, at least as old as Emmrich and blinked at him like a vaguely surprised cat. She swept her gaze over Rook as well before leaving. She'd been smirking, Rook thought, as the door closed behind her.

Thus, they've been alone in the house, and Rook has been sleeping, staring vaguely into the distance, sleeping, reading from Emmrich's extensive collection, looking at the ceiling while trying to forget the sight of Bellara's blighted eyes, sleeping, bouncing on Emmrich's dick like it's her job, and sleeping sleeping sleeping.

They've been here for two days, more or less 48 hours, and many of those hours were spent in his lap. Fucking him, yes, but also just clinging onto him like an extra limb because right now, she feels like she might disintegrate if he isn't touching her. He reads to her. Smiles and laughs through so many stories from his life. She thinks about Solas disappearing into the Fade, maybe never to be seen again. The last God of her people.

When she goes too quiet, sometimes he tells her a joke or puts a little chocolate in her mouth. Once, he ate her out while humming the Nevarran national anthem and she laughed as she came. Sometimes he joins her in melancholy and they lay together and cope. Sometimes she cries, mostly from exhaustion and relief and grief, and he kisses her face. Sometimes he cries. From exhaustion and relief and grief, probably. She tucks her head under his chin and rubs her small hand up and down his broad back, and then she swipes the snot and tears out of his mustache with her very own thumb because she loves him, she loves him.

This morning, she flutters her eyes open and enjoys the texture of the silk sheets against her bare body (Last night, and for lack of a better term, Emmrich fucked her to sleep--apparently, when the world isn't in active peril, he's very into the whole tantric thing. Hours of crazy hot, dragging sex that destroys braincells, but only the ones she's better off not having.) and she does that for about thirty seconds before she realizes it's just barely light outside, blue and cool. Then she starts wondering why the fuck she's awake right now.

The answer becomes apparent immediately: Emmrich is in the ensuite bath, running water and making the weirdest, loudest noises. She thinks at first that he's managed to gag himself with his own toothbrush, but then he sneezes, blows his nose with a honking noise like a malfunctioning horn, and clears his throat so thunderously that Rook thinks he must somehow be drowning.

She rolls out of bed and wobbles into the bathroom, birthday suit and all, because clearly he's become sick in the night and it's now up to her to guide him back to bed and care for him. She's surprised, then, to find him looking hale and healthy in front of the sink. He's wearing nothing but silk pajama pants and down slippers. He's making an absurd clicking sound and swirling a finger inside his ear.

"Are you okay?" Rook demands, propped on the doorjamb.

Emmrich jumps a foot on the air, winces as he jabs his own eardrum, and says, "Ow! Darling, please don't sneak up on--"

"You are being so loud," she says, because the polite section of her brain hasn't woken up. "Are you choking? Are you sick?"

"No," Emmrich says slowly. "I just--oh, the door must have fallen open. The floor isn't terribly even here. I'm sorry, darling--sound does carry in this old house." He twirls a finger behind his ear and clinks again. "I fear I suffer seasonal allergies, dearest, and it's been a long while since I slept more than a night or two outside of the Necropolis or the Fade. There's quite a bit of...mucus..." He clears his throat.

"Gross," says Rook, and then, "It's dawn, Emmrich."

"Mm-hm." Emmrich is now leaning across the counter, two inches from the mirror and examining his mustache like a jewel appraiser.

"Why are you making heinous old man noises at dawn?"

His eyes veer towards her reflection in the mirror, and they make eye contact in the glass. Very neatly, and with a raised eyebrow, he says, "Heinous old man noises."

Rook starts making hawking, gutteral noises in the back of her throat. It's a pretty faithful imitation.

"Dearest," he yells over the sound. "I apologize for waking you--"

"I cannot believe," says Rook, "that I'm going to spend the rest of my life being woken up at dawn by the hacks and sneezes of a man who wears wing tip shoes."

She's halfway through a half-asleep snicker at the hilarity of her own statement when Emmrich fixes her with a surprised look in his wet eyes and she realizes she's never actually voiced the idea that has become an unspoken certainty in her mind: That he's the love of her life, and her life may not be as short as she was thinking it might be this time last week, and that she wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her ambiguously-numbered mornings waking up to him.

She also realizes the truth of the situation. The baths in the Lighthouse were communal, and one never knew which companion they might encounter during their morning routine. Emmrich is fastidious and spends a great deal of his energy in broadcasting the image of a man who is utterly put together in everything he does. Never a hair out of place or a thread loose. It's a privilege of the highest order to witness him this way. Sleep-mused hair, shadow on his jaw. The bleariness of sleep in his eyes and, yes, even the throat-clearing and nose blowing.

Emmrich clears his throat and whispers, "Forgive me. I've...lived alone. For a very long time."

Rook's eyes water as she croaks, "Not anymore. I don't...want you to."

A smile spreads his face. It is wobbly, boyish, and so so beautiful. The absurdity of the situation finally reaches her--she is very naked and he's only slightly more dressed and there is a perfectly warm, perfectly comfortable bed steps away.

"Come back to bed," Rook says. "Please?"

He does.

[lxvebun]

Highschool au brainrot with sukuna. Please hear me out-

╰┈ Not completely proofread. Sukuna x gender neutral reader<3 fluff! Let me know if you guys prefer small or big text for brainrots like this♡

꒰ა High school jock Sukuna! who had been failing his tests and was now facing the very real threat of being benched if he didn’t bring his grades up. His usual cocky grin faltering slightly as he carried himself around school with a nervous scowl.

The name Ryomen Sukuna stared back at you from the slip of paper the teacher handed to you, their eyes filled with a sense of pity, knowing Sukuna was not the easiest to get along with. The note simply read: “Please, tutor him for the upcoming tests.”

High school jock Sukuna! who was absolutely terrifying to approach. He towered over most, his sheer size enough to make anyone think twice before stepping into his space. With a permanent furrow in his eyebrows, making it look like he was always on the edge of starting a fight, and a sharp voice with an even sharper tongue. Intimidating already, he became even more so around his team—loud, confident, untouchable. Not wanting to deal with that many eyes on you, you decided to wait until after practice, when the hallways had fallen silent, and you wouldn't have the weight of other people’s eyes on you… just his.

High school jock Sukuna! who had lit up in a way you hadn’t been expecting when you explained that your teachers had assigned him to you for tutoring. The edge of confusion in his eyes cleared almost instantly, replaced by something more like relief. He was quick to exchange numbers with you, even quicker to ask if you had time that Friday after practice.

High school jock Sukuna! with whom you surprisingly found yourself in the midst of a blossoming friendship. Yeah, he was rough around the edges, with his jagged personality, sharp tongue, and lack of patience for anything he didn’t find interesting. But when it was just the two of you, tucked into a corner of the library, it was almost like he softened a little. He listened carefully when you explained things to him, followed your instructions on homework, albeit begrudgingly, doodled on the corner of your notebooks, overhauled his backpack to share his snacks, and what you thought would be a nerve-wracking few hours every week turned into something you actually looked forward to.

High school jock Sukuna! who’s crushing so incredibly hard on you, but you’re completely oblivious to it. Perceiving it more as him just being friendly. </3

And really, it’s so painfully obvious he likes you—he doesn’t even bother hiding the way he stares when you’re explaining something, and there’s a certain warmth in his gaze that makes your heart flutter, but you brush it off. </3

(Really, it's a miracle his pupils haven’t turned into little heart shapes yet.)

He’s just glad he’s keeping his grades up with your help so he can continue to play in his games. You convince yourself as he flashes a fanged smile and shoots you a wink as you pass each other in the hallways.

Sukuna just doesn’t want to deal with the hassle of having another tutor assigned to him. He doesn’t want to go through the exhausting process of explaining what he finds difficult in his subjects over and over again to a stranger. Your mind rationalizes as he offers to carry your bag, not giving you any time to respond before he slung the heavy thing over his shoulder with a casual grin. His arm now wrapped around your shoulder. The warmth of his touch lingering as you both walked to the library for your usual study session

It’s just Sukuna trying his best to be friendly and convince you to stay and tutor him. That’s all it is. You're sure! But then… that doesn’t explain why his team jersey, with the bold, bright lettering spelling out his name, is currently neatly folded up in your locker, adorned with a messy little note in familiar handwriting that reads:

“Wear this for me at the game?” ♡

Your fingers hover over the fabric, the weight of it suddenly feeling a lot heavier than it should...໒꒱ ⠀

[coqhee]

ROOM FOR YOU

✷ enhypen hyung line being clingy

day 20 of melodies to memories ― p.sh x f!r fluff healing 1OO3

it’d been a whole 3 years since you’d last seen him after you graduated from high school, and only now had you received word from the man himself that he was moving back.

hoon: “i’m coming back to town soon for college, should we meet up?” 

you stared at his text wondering how you should feel. the boy was your first friend, first crush, first everything except for anything relating to ‘boyfriend’. you wondered maybe if you’d said something before he left if he’d had stayed

little did you know, sunghoon harbored the same exact thoughts and feelings. you were his everything except for his girlfriend and how he wished he could call you his after all the time you’d spent together growing up

good thing sunghoon was thinking the same exact thing after he’d sent the text, wondering if it was the right call to text you back all this time.

the east coast just wasn’t made for him and he’d been wanting to go back ever since he got there.

he’d been meeting to call, ask many times ‘how’s it like back at home?’ or even ask about the lake you’d spent many summers in, dunking each other in, then basking in the fleeting daylight as you dried off. 

you’d meant to move on, appear strong and say that you were doing better now, and it was for the best, but seeing that text…you weren’t so sure. 

you knew there’d always be room for park sunghoon inside of your heart whether you liked it or not. 

y/n: would you have time to call sometime as well?

your fingers hovered over your phone as you hit send, heart pounding like you’d just run a marathon. it wasn’t like you to feel so nervous about a simple text, but with sunghoon, nothing was ever simple.

the three dots appeared almost immediately, and you couldn’t decide whether that was a good or bad sign.

as if almost immediately, your message was read and he was calling. it was about time you suppose.

“hey,”

“it’s about time you rang,” you force out a small laugh. at least you wanted to think it was forced, that he didn’t have you waiting endlessly on the call you asked him to give when he had landed at the other end of the country.

“you must’ve gotten up early, here it’s almost 10:30,” he continues on after a moment of silence either of you aren’t sure you’re comfortable with.

“yeah a bit, didn’t mean to wake up, so i’ll probably go back to sleep after this call,” you smile appreciating the concern.

“guess i got lucky then,” you hear him smile on the end. god, how you hated that you could predict his facial features just through his voice.

“so,” you started, breaking the silence that threatened to grow too heavy, “what’s bringing you back? homesick?”

“missed the west coast, missed home too much here,” you hear him laugh on the other end. it’s a laugh of carefulness and uncertainty.

you hum, acknowledging his statement, somewhere deep down hoping he’d say he missed you too.

“missed you,” you blurt out speaking your mind before he could start a new statement.

“i missed you too, not just as a friend, but as an everything,” 

his words hung in the air, thick with meaning. you froze, your breath catching in your throat as you processed what he’d just said.

"an everything?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

“yeah,” sunghoon admitted, his tone softer now. “i know it’s probably not fair to say this after all this time, but i couldn’t leave it unsaid anymore. i thought maybe if I told you now, we’d have a chance to… i don’t know, figure things out when i got back?”

“sunghoon…” you started, your voice wavering. “you can’t just say things like that out of nowhere.”

“i know,” he sighed. “i know it’s a lot, but I’ve been holding it in for three years. i can’t keep pretending i don’t feel this way about you.”

“you’re not special you know that right? you’re not the only one who hasn’t moved on, so fuck you too park sunghoon,” you laughed in a lighter tone. 

if sunghoon could explain that feeling, it’d felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders and he could never explain how the tightness in his chest dissipated by your words and tone alone.

“would it be better to talk about this, like when i come back?” he asked unsure if this was the best resolution to a phonecall where he practically said everything he’d been wanting to say for the longest time ever.

“maybe it would,” you replied, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the whirlwind of emotions brewing inside you. “but for the record, hoon, you don’t get to come back into my life and drop a bomb like that without dealing with the fallout.”

hoon. he’d love to live everyday with you calling him that again, bad or good day.

“i deserve that,” he admitted with a soft chuckle. “i just couldn’t wait any longer. i had to tell you.”

“three years, though,” you said, your voice teasing yet soft. “who moves to the other side of the country, never contacts their best friend, then decides to come back and let everything out after 3 years? are you crazy?”

“every single day,” he confessed. “moving away didn’t change how I felt. If anything, it made it worse.”

for the first time in years, you felt the faintest glimmer of hope for what could be. “then i guess i’ll see you soon, park sunghoon.”

“soon,” he echoed, and the word felt like a promise.

as the call ended, you sat there in the quiet of your room, your thoughts racing but your heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time. three years was a long time to hold onto feelings like these, but maybe—just maybe—it was worth the wait.

─── ♡

a/n: happy day 20 of melodies to memories! guess who forgot i have to MANUALLY upload this cause my blr is broken! day 21 will be out shortly as well so you lucky ducks get a DOUBLE upload, sighhh

melodies to memories tl (open!): @pshwrldd @hhmnya @wonsdoll @lovuegi @letmein2urheart @firstclassjaylee

@ coqhee 2024. all rights reserved

[nino-rox]

PETER PARKER | BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS | M | GENDER NEUTRAL READER

Warnings: Sexual Themes, Mature/Explicit, Gender Neutral Reader, Tom Holland As Spider-Man, Not Proof Read

DISCLAIMER: Please be of the appropriate age ( i.e, Adult as per your country’s stipulations and regulations) before interacting with this post.

(Author’s Note: Requested by Anonymous user. My first time writing headcanons, I’ve barely even read any so I’m sorry if it’s not great ! Please request for more ! )

~What dating Parker feels like on a day to day basis

THE SKYLIGHT CATASTROPHE

One night, there’s a thud loud enough to rattle the walls, followed by an ominous silence. You know exactly what’s happened even before Peter pokes his head through the window, windswept and grinning sheepishly.“So, uh… surprise! You have a new skylight!”

You cross your arms, unimpressed. “You broke my roof again?”“Okay, technically, it was already fragile. I just… sped up the process.”

The next morning, you find him on the roof, duct tape and webs in hand, muttering to himself like he’s crafting a masterpiece.“Peter, you’re going to fall.”He waves you off without even looking up. “Relax! You’re being ridiculous. I’m Spider-Man—I won’t fall. Skylights are all the rage anyway. Just think of it as me upgrading your house for free!”

Right as he says it, his foot slips, and he stumbles forward, barely catching himself with a web against the gutter.“SEE? I caught myself!” he says triumphantly, cheeks flushed as he steadies himself.

You stare at him, appalled. “Peter, I’m not worried about you, you blithering idiot. I’m worried about my house! Fall on the road and break your head if you want, but I swear to god, if you break my house again—”

“Noted. No more house-breaking. Promise. Bob the Builder’s retired anyway,” he grins.

WEBBED LAUNDRY

You pull a ruined hoodie out of the wash—bright red, stretched beyond recognition, and sticky with web fluid. Marching into the living room, you hold it up like evidence.“Peter! Why is my hoodie fused with web glue?”

Peter looks up from the couch, cereal bowl in hand, his eyes widening. “Ohhh… yeah, about that…”

You glare, waiting.

“I, uh, might’ve had to yank my suit off super quickly after patrol last night—it was covered in webs—and I didn’t realize it stuck to your hoodie in the laundry pile.”

You narrow your eyes. “You didn’t realize?”

Peter sets the bowl down, flashing a nervous grin. “Look, web fluid is mostly water-soluble! If we wait a day, it’ll dissolve!”

You groan, holding up the ruined fabric. “It better dissolve. Or you’re buying me a new hoodie.”

Peter slides an arm around your waist, grinning. “Or… we could share this one? Exclusive Spider-Merch for my favorite person.”

THE GREAT SPIDER-MAN’S HANDYMAN FAILS

You and Peter finally move in together, which should have been exciting—except unpacking with Spider-Man is a nightmare.“Peter, where’s the box with the kitchen stuff?” you ask, arms crossed.

Peter scratches the back of his head, sheepishly pointing to a corner. “Uh… it’s webbed to the ceiling. I thought it’d save space?”

You sigh. “Okay, fine. But why is there a Spider-Tracer in the toaster?”

He grins nervously. “Security measure?”

Later, you catch him trying to web a shelf together instead of using screws.“PETER!”“What? This is structurally sound!”

THE HOODIE INCIDENT

Peter freezes when he sees you curled up in his hoodie, sleeves hanging past your hands.“You stole it again?”“Finders keepers.”

He steps closer, voice low and teasing. “Looks better on you anyway.”

Before you can respond, he tackles you onto the couch, hovering over you with a grin.“You’re not keeping it.”“Make me.”

MORNING HEATWAVE SNUGGLES

You wake up tangled in Peter’s limbs, his face buried in the crook of your neck. It’s cozy—until you realize he’s a human heater.“Peter. Let me go. I have stuff to do.”

“Five more minutes,” he murmurs, pulling you closer with ridiculous Spider-strength. “Spider-Boyfriend privilege.”

“You smell like sweat and bad decisions.”

Peter chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. “Want me to make another bad decision?” His lips brush your jaw as his voice drops, teasing. “I can make you sweaty too.”

Heat flares in your cheeks, but you manage to mutter, “You’re impossible.”

His smirk is pure trouble as he rolls you onto your back. “And you love it.”

SWINGING FOR BEGINNERS

The first time Peter suggests swinging with you, you laugh nervously. “No way. I like my life.”“It’s safe! You’ll love it—I promise.”

The moment he scoops you into his arms and leaps off the edge, you scream loud enough to wake half of Queens.“PETER, I SWEAR—”

“You’re fine!” he calls out, laughing as the wind whips past. “Just enjoy the ride!”

You bury your face in his shoulder, heart pounding. “I’m never letting go. Ever.”

Peter grins, holding you tighter. “Good. I wasn’t planning to let you go anyway.”

ROOFTOP MIDNIGHT ESCAPES

Peter swings into your room after patrol, his suit half-off, hair wild from the wind. “C’mon. Let’s go somewhere.”

Before you can finish protesting, he sweeps you into his arms like it’s the most natural thing in the world.“Peter!” you yelp, clutching his shoulders as he shoots a web and leaps into the night.“Trust me, I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his grin softening.

The wind whips past, adrenaline rushing through your veins as he swings effortlessly between buildings. When you finally land on a rooftop, he pulls you close, his lips brushing against your ear. “You’re not scared, are you?”“Not anymore,” you whisper, and his smirk grows as his lips meet yours, slow and steady, grounding you after the thrill.

POST SWING MOMENTS

After a particularly daring swing where Peter narrowly dodges a billboard, he sets you down on a rooftop, his arms still firmly wrapped around your waist.“Are you okay?” he murmurs, his voice low as his thumb brushes your cheek.“I’m fine, Peter. You can let go now.”

He doesn’t. His grip tightens, and his voice drops to a husky whisper. “You have no idea how hard it is to let you go.”

Your breath catches as his lips brush yours softly at first, then with increasing intensity. His hands slide to your lower back, pulling you closer until the world disappears around you.

“SHH, I’LL MAKE IT WORTH IT.”

Peter returns from patrol late at night, finding you half-asleep on the couch. He crouches down, brushing a kiss to your temple.“You awake?” he whispers.

You mumble something incoherent, only stirring when his lips brush yours again, this time slower, more deliberate.“Shh,” he murmurs, pinning your wrists gently above your head. His grin turns playful as he leans closer. “I’ll make it worth keeping you awake.”

Your heart races as his kisses deepen, trailing down the side of your neck. “You’re impossible,” you manage to say, though the way your breath hitches betrays you.

“And you love it,” he murmurs, his lips pressing firmly against your pulse, his smirk growing when you shiver under his touch.

SHOWER?

Peter comes home sweaty and grimy after patrol, and you shove him toward the shower. Minutes later, his head pokes out, water dripping over his shoulders as he leans lazily against the doorway.“You know… showers are more efficient with two people,” he says, his grin pure trouble.

You roll your eyes, turning back to your book. “Peter, no.”

He steps closer, letting water drip from his still-damp hair onto your shoulder as he leans down to whisper in your ear, his voice low. “You sure? I could scrub your back… or hold you against the tiles.”

Your cheeks burn, and you push him away half-heartedly, glaring. “Peter—”

He catches your wrist, pulling you to stand, his eyes locked on yours. “What?” he murmurs, tilting his head, his smirk teasing but his touch firm. “You’d look cute all wet.”

“Stop!” you squeak, swatting his chest, but he’s already laughing, pressing a kiss to your temple before finally retreating back to the bathroom.“I’ll leave the door unlocked, just in case,” he teases before disappearing behind the steam.

DATE

Peter had promised to meet you at the café after your shift. You’d been looking forward to it all day—just a simple hour with him, no superheroes, no chaos. But an emergency call from Ned about some escaped tech left you waiting alone, watching the minutes tick by.

When Peter finally arrived, his hair disheveled and guilt written all over his face, you didn’t even need to ask.“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation. “There was this thing—Ned needed help—and I couldn’t just leave it—”

“It’s fine,” you said sharply, though your tone betrayed your disappointment. “I get it. You have other responsibilities.”

His shoulders slumped. “No, it’s not fine,” he muttered. “I messed up. And I know it’s not the first time.”

You sighed, softening as you saw the guilt etched across his face. “Peter…”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he said, almost pleading. “Just… give me a chance.”

Later that night, he showed up at your window with a bouquet of daisies that looked like they’d survived a tornado and a homemade playlist.“I know it’s not much,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “But these reminded me of you—bright and sweet. And I put all your favorite songs on here, so… I hope it makes up for me being a total idiot.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you took the flowers, pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you muttered.

“Lucky you think I’m cute,” he teased, kissing your temple. “I’ll do better next time. Promise.”

TRIVIA NIGHT

Ned had invited you both to trivia night, but no one warned you how competitive Peter could get. It started innocently enough, with Peter rattling off science and history facts like a human encyclopedia. But when the questions shifted to pop culture, his confidence started to falter.

“You’ve never seen Mean Girls?” you asked, incredulous.“Uh, no?” he replied, looking genuinely confused.MJ rolled her eyes. “Peter, how do you even function as a person?”“I fight bad guys!” he defended, flustered. “I don’t have time for… whatever this is!”

As the final round approached, you noticed the way Peter’s brows furrowed, his shoulders tensing like he was about to swing into battle. Leaning over, you cupped his face gently, forcing him to meet your gaze.“Peter,” you said, your voice teasing but warm, “you’re cute when you’re losing.”

His jaw dropped, and before he could protest, you kissed him in front of everyone.

Ned let out a dramatic gasp. “In public? With witnesses?!”MJ snorted. “That’s disgusting. I’m rooting for you two.”

When you pulled back, Peter’s face was a brilliant shade of red, but the grin he gave you was dazzling.“I don’t even care if I lose now,” he whispered, leaning in for another kiss. “This is so worth it.”

HANDMADE

Peter had been acting strange all week—fidgety, distracted, and overly secretive. You were starting to wonder if something was wrong when he showed up at your door with a small, carefully wrapped box and a sheepish grin.

“What’s this?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as he practically shoved it into your hands.“Just… open it,” he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Inside was a sleek black flashlight, surprisingly lightweight, with a small engraved spider emblem on the side. You turned it over in your hands, curious.

“It’s not just a flashlight,” Peter said quickly, scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh, noticed you sometimes leave the light on at night, and I thought… maybe this would help.”

Your chest tightened. He’d picked up on your fear of the dark without you ever telling him outright.

“It’s also kind of… Spider-Man-approved,” he added, gesturing nervously. “There’s a tracker inside, so I’ll always know where you are. And if you press the button three times really fast, it sends an SOS directly to me.”

You stared at him, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of it all. “Peter…”“I just want you to feel safe,” he said softly, his brown eyes earnest. “Even when I’m not around. You’re my world, and I want you to have something to remind you that I’m always here for you.”

Your throat felt tight as you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t even know what to say,” you murmured against his shoulder.

“‘Thank you’ works,” he joked, though his voice was thick with emotion.

Pulling back, you met his gaze and smiled. “Thank you, Peter. I love it. And I love you.”

His face lit up, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you close. “I love you too. Always.”

SPILLING

Peter had always admired how hard you worked. While he juggled Spider-Man and school, you balanced late-night shifts, studying at your rundown public school, and still somehow found time to make him feel like the center of your world. But admiration wasn’t the only thing he felt—sometimes, he felt inadequate.

On the other hand, you often wondered how you ended up with someone like Peter Parker. He was a literal superhero, acing advanced physics while you struggled with Algebra II. You worked part-time jobs just to help keep the lights on at home, and there were days when you felt like you’d drown under the weight of it all.

That tension finally bubbled over one evening. Peter swung by your place unannounced, but his usual warmth was absent. He dropped onto your couch with a sigh, his shoulders slumping.

“You okay?” you asked, sitting beside him.

He shook his head, staring at his hands. “How do you do it?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Do what?”

“Everything,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “You don’t have superpowers, or Stark tech, or a fancy school helping you out. And you’re still… incredible. You’re better at life than I am, and I’ve got every advantage.”

The words stung—not because of what he said, but because they mirrored your own insecurities.

“What are you trying to say?” you asked, your voice cracking as you braced yourself for what felt inevitable.

Peter hesitated, his jaw working as he tried to find the right words. “You deserve someone who can keep up with you. And I’m not sure I’m enough.”

Your breath hitched, and before you could stop them, tears began streaming down your cheeks. “Wait, are you saying this is over?”

“What? No!” Peter sat up straight, his hands shooting out to reach for yours. “That’s not what I meant! I’m talking about me, not you! I’m the one who’s not enough!”

“You are enough!” The words burst out of you, but the crack in your voice betrayed how deeply his statement had shaken you. “I’m the one who’s not enough, Peter. Look at you! You’re saving lives while I’m just trying to keep the lights on at home.”

Peter’s brows furrowed, guilt flooding his features. “What? No—no, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true,” you whispered, pulling your hands free and wrapping your arms around yourself. “I can barely make it through my shifts without wondering if I’m going to mess something up. And then I see you—perfect Peter Parker, superhero and genius—and I just… I feel so small.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you. Then Peter moved closer, carefully placing his hands on your shoulders. “You’re not small,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping your eyes. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Peter insisted, gently tilting your chin up so you’d look at him. “You don’t have powers, but you work harder than anyone I’ve ever met. You care about people. You care about me. And I…” He trailed off, his voice breaking. “I don’t always feel like I deserve that.”

Your breath caught at the raw vulnerability in his words. “You don’t have to be perfect, Peter. You don’t have to save me, or prove anything. I just want you.”

He stared at you, his eyes glistening. “I want you too,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “And I’m sorry I made you think otherwise. I just… I don’t always know how to keep up with someone like you.”

“We’re both trying to keep up,” you said quietly, leaning forward until your foreheads touched. “And that’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.”

Peter nodded, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you into his chest. “Yeah,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Together.”

The two of you sat like that for a long time, the weight of your shared insecurities fading, replaced by something stronger—a quiet, unshakable love.

SERIOUS

Peter comes home late—bruised, bleeding, and far too casual about it. You snap.“Do you like scaring me to death?”“It’s just a scratch!” he argues, dropping his mask on the couch.“Peter, you’re not invincible. What happens if one day you don’t come back?”

He pauses, guilt flickering across his face. “I can’t stop being Spider-Man.”“And I can’t stop worrying about you,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

He looks away, fiddling with his web-shooter. “I don’t want to scare you. I’m sorry.”

MAYBE NOT SO SERIOUS?

Later that night, Peter finds you sitting on the fire escape, staring out at the skyline. He hesitates before sitting beside you.“I hate fighting with you,” he says quietly. “You’re the only person who makes all of this feel worth it.”

You exhale slowly, leaning into him. “Then don’t make me feel like I’m losing you.”His arm wraps around you, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll do everything I can to come home to you. That’s a promise.”

He presses his forehead to yours, and when his lips brush yours, it’s soft and full of unspoken apologies.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! PLEASE SEND KINKMAS REQUESTS AND PROMPTS! <3 Please Request if you’d like me to expand the headcanon into SMUT <3

[woso-story]

The Weight Of Love And Loss - Part Four

Alexia Putellas x Reader - Part One Two Three

The morning of the meeting, your nerves felt like they were eating you alive. Every step toward the café felt heavier than the last, as though the gravity of your decision was pulling you back. For days, you’d debated whether to come at all. You’d imagined every possible outcome: Alexia apologizing, Alexia blaming you, Alexia trying to win you back. But no matter how much you rehearsed your responses, nothing prepared you for the reality of seeing her again.

The café was quiet as you approached. It was early, not many people around. Through the glass, you could see Alexia already sitting at your old table, her back slightly hunched, her hands wrapped tightly around a mug.

For a moment, you stopped in your tracks. Memories of the two of you flooded your mind—happy days spent in this exact spot, laughing, dreaming, planning your future together. The air had always been warm with love back then. But now? Now it felt like that love was gone, leaving only bitterness and heartbreak behind.

You inhaled deeply and pushed open the door.

---

The bell above the door jingled softly, drawing Alexia’s attention. She looked up, her eyes meeting yours instantly, and she stood, as if she wasn’t sure whether to stay seated or greet you. She hesitated before giving a weak smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hi,” she said quietly. Her voice was small, unsure, and it tugged at your heart in a way you weren’t ready for.

“Hi,” you replied curtly. No warmth, no familiarity. Just the distance you’d carefully built since the day you walked out of her apartment.

“Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?” she offered, almost nervously.

You shook your head. “No. Let’s just get this over with.”

The words were sharp, but you needed them to be. You needed to protect yourself, to keep the walls you’d built from crumbling the moment she looked at you with those pleading eyes.

Alexia flinched slightly but nodded, sitting back down. You followed, keeping your distance, your arms crossed defensively as you waited for her to start.

---

The silence between you stretched on painfully. Alexia fidgeted with her mug, her eyes darting between you and the table. You resisted the urge to fill the void, to make it easier for her. This was her meeting, her chance to explain. You weren’t going to make it easier for her.

Finally, you sighed, irritation creeping into your voice. “If you’re not going to say anything, I’m leaving. I don’t have time to sit here in silence.”

“No—wait,” she blurted out, her voice breaking slightly. She looked up at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “But I need to try.”

---

Alexia took a deep breath, her hands clasped tightly together as if trying to hold herself together. “I’m sorry for everything. For the way I treated you. For shutting you out. For not listening. I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to focus on getting better, but...I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you in the process.”

You stayed silent, your expression unreadable.

“When I got injured, I felt like everything I’d worked for my whole life was slipping away,” she continued, her voice cracking. “Football isn’t just a job for me—it’s who I am. And losing that...I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was angry, scared, lost. And instead of letting you help me, I pushed you away. I thought I could handle it on my own. But I couldn’t.”

Her voice broke completely now, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I swear, I didn’t. But I did, and I hate myself for it. I hate that I made you feel like you didn’t matter, because you do. You always did. You’re...you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I ruined it.”

---

Her words hit you harder than you expected. For months, you’d begged her to open up, to tell you how she felt. And now, here she was, pouring her heart out—but it was too late.

“You’re right,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “You did ruin it.”

Alexia flinched as if you’d slapped her, but you didn’t stop.

“I tried, Alexia. I tried so hard to be there for you, to support you, to love you. But you didn’t let me. Every time I tried to talk to you, you shut me out. Every time I needed you, you weren’t there. And do you know how that felt? To feel like I was invisible? Like I didn’t matter?”

Tears were streaming down your face now, but you didn’t bother wiping them away. “You broke my heart, Alexia. Piece by piece, over months. And I can’t just forget that.”

---

Alexia sobbed quietly, her shoulders shaking as she tried to compose herself. “I know,” she whispered. “I know I messed up. But...please. Please give me another chance. I’ll do better. I’ll change. Just...don’t give up on us.”

You shook your head, your heart aching at the sight of her so broken. “It’s not that simple, Alexia. You hurt me. And I don’t think I can trust you not to do it again.”

Her face crumpled, and she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a sob.

“I think we need time,” you continued, your voice shaking. “Time to heal. Separately.”

Alexia’s tears fell freely now, her shoulders shaking as she cried. “I can’t do this without you,” she whispered. “You’re my rock. You always have been.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Your rock? I felt more like your punching bag these last few months. I took every hit, Alexia. Every argument, every hurtful comment, every time you brushed me off. I took it all. And I broke because of it.”

She sobbed quietly, her hands trembling as she reached for yours. “I’ll fix it. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just...don’t leave me.”

You took her hands in yours, your heart aching at the sight of her so broken. “You need help, Alexia. Real help. Talk to a sports psychologist. Work through everything you’re feeling. Because I can’t be the one to fix this for you. I tried, and it nearly destroyed me.”

Her tears fell harder, but she nodded slowly, her grip on your hands tightening.

After a moment Alexia’s sobs quieted, and she wiped at her face with shaking hands. “So...that’s it?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“For now,” you said softly. “You need time to heal. And so do I. We can’t do that together.”

She nodded slowly, her tears falling silently now. “Is there still a chance for us? Someday?”

You hesitated, your heart breaking all over again. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “But if it’s meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other. For now, we have to let go.”

Her face crumpled, but she managed a small, shaky smile. “Okay,” she whispered.

You stood, your heart heavy as you looked at her one last time. “Take care of yourself, Alexia,” you said gently.

“You too,” she replied, her voice trembling.

And with that, you walked away, leaving behind the woman you once thought you’d spend forever with.

As you stepped out into the crisp morning air, a single thought ran through your mind: Maybe someday.

But for now, you needed to heal. Alone.

[stump-not-found]

i <3 creepy hallway

creepy hallway number one <3

alright time for more home life stuff . the bedroom scene came up as a way of trying to reintegrate the gold statue from earlier, since i just really love trying to find old elements and tie them in as plot relevant as time goes on . not usually planned, but it comes through during the editing stage, which is a fun game of deciding what scenes to keep, and which to get rid of . i wasn't so certain about this one, but i loved the idea of baby ford interacting with mabel, who's slightly older... i need to draw art of it, honestly . they're cute

it's really gratifying seeing people pick up on what i've been setting up as part of ford and the statue, the fact i was able to effectively communicate something going on means the world to me . the rest of the story is gonna dig into it more so i won't lay it all out here, but it really is so much fun . makes the whole writing process feel so communicative when people share thoughts and interpretations . especially when the scenes are meant to be read into !

we also get the closet yay . sure that's not gonna be important at all

writing the kids big blow up fight was a trip and a half . the original vision was a pretty shallow "we're stressed out and out grunkles should stop being mean to each other :(", just as a way to try and push forward the dynamics between ford and stan . that still exists, it's just a lot more focus being put onto the kids themselves . they're tertiary characters for sure, but i like thinking about their home life, and how that impacts them

one of the challenges is trying to have the fight feel fairly balanced between the two of them . shoutouts to my brother and wife for the full ass socratic seminar we had about threading that needle . how do you get a conversation where a young trans boy is trying to discuss his fears about his life and his body, and keeps getting shut down ? how do you balance that with a little girl who feels like it's her job to be the sweet, happy, emotionally intellegent adult in the room ? i'm happy with the end result but boy was it stressful

bill also wasn't gonna be here but i wanted more bill so . he got to come back . i really liked tying in nick with the spit to the little chats their having in the paradox dimension . love the lil hand pinch that was just a treat for meeeee, i get to be indulgent in my fics as much as i want . i also like the fact that ford is under some indescribable pain that entire time . they got a dynamic in this story that makes me laugh .

you know whats funny is i didn't even realize ship of theseus was a paradox writing a lot of the stuff about paradoxes . for some reason i just stumbled into that one . very funny . or, no wait -- i totally knew the entire time my brain is the size of three (3) whole apples

oh man and the entire lab scene i just loved writing . i love including bathroom breaks . i love dipper's poor hygiene . i love the fact the kids traded gold for soda, they're such perfect lil con men in training . and again the whole talk about star trek was so indulgent and fun

the brothers grew up queer in the 60's/70's and that's a major part of their arc . i hope to get across the ways they both hurt each other both as kids and adults . they still got so much to work on, and i just don't know if they've got the time

anyways creepy hallway bill time

favorite part:

“Clark.” Ford stiffens, stops. Looks up. “What?” “That, uh, captain guy. The one with the, he had the big, you know–” Stan gestures over his chest, puffing his pecs out a bit more. “Always had em out, shirt cut off or whatever. Got all hot and sweaty. Great hair.” “...Kirk?” Ford turns in his seat, slightly, to get a better look at his brother. Stan clicks his tongue, points his index finger in recollection. “ Kirk .” He repeats, and the image of the guy blooms in Stan’s head. Ford had a magazine with him on the cover, about as disheveled and beat up as a guy could look, shirt torn open. That particular mag went ‘missing’ into Stan’s stash, and he laughs at that old memory getting drudged up. “I, uh. Was a fan , back then.”

i just love how neither one of them can say what they're talking about out loud lol

Stan and Ford have a conversation, Mabel and Dipper get a bit absurd, and something gold is given meaning.

If you don't look, you won't see it fading.

[miizuzu]

Once upon a dream

“I think I should start looking for a boyfriend.” Satoru spat out his vanilla flavored milkshake as he listened in from a bug he planted in your jacket. “Gross, Gojo.” Nanami glares at Satoru then turns away. Satoru got up quickly and ran outside. 

You were on your lunch break and were eating outside your workplace with Yuki, your friend/co-worker. Yuki raised one of her brows and questions. “Why the sudden change of heart?” You really couldn't tell her it is because of all the lewd dreams you have been having, you thought it was your brain telling you it was time to start planning for a relationship. “Umm… you know, I'm not getting any younger. Maybe it's time to meet new people.” That was the only excuse you could think of. 

Satoru nervously bites his thumb while he listens in. He knows the exact reason why you wanted to look for someone, HE was the cause after all. He's been waiting for the perfect moment to finally ‘meet’ you, guess he has to accelerate his plans.

Satoru pops his head back into the office and tells Nanami he will go out and do his rounds, Nanami stood up and decided he would go together, which Satoru didn't expect but agreed anyway. 

Satoru's office was actually pretty close to where you work, so he decided to walk that way and hopefully, maybe some miracle would happen where he would be able to talk to you. He must have done something to favor the gods, since the perfect opportunity came as he finally saw you. 

Yuki wanted to have one last smoke before break ends and had gone back inside because she left her lighter in the locker. Some shady looking guy was hiding in the shadows and jumped out to grab your bag once he saw you alone. Satoru and Nanami both knew what he was up to and ran towards you. 

The thug pulled your bag away from you, knocking you down while he tried to escape. Nanami went to you and tried to help you up while Satoru ran after the thief. You were too shocked to process what had just happened, Nanami stayed with you as Satoru catches the thief and walks back towards you.

Satoru was shocked when he saw the way you were looking at Nanami, your cheeks were bright pink and you nervously looked away while trying to sneak peaks of him. Satoru thought to himself, ‘I should have been the one she’s admiring, I caught the thief!’ 

“Miss, are you alright?” Nanami asks gently, and all you could do was nod your head. Satoru pushes the thief towards Nanami as he hands you back your bag. “Would you like to check if there's anything missing?” Satoru smiles at you, catching your attention as you stare at his eyes. 

“Beautiful…” you gasp as you realize you said that out loud. Satoru had a confident smirk on his face. “Thanks, but we really need you to check if there is anything missing.” You bashfully grabbed your bag from Satoru and looked through your things. “Everything is here. Thank you officers.” 

“If it is not too much trouble, could I please ask you to follow us back to the station to file a report?” Satoru asks, mainly trying to find an opportunity to ‘finally learn your name from you’. “I'm actually just on my lunch break, I have to go back to work.” You were shaking from all that just happened and Satoru saw it. “I'm sure your employer would understand and let you take an early leave, I'll even go with you.” Satoru suggests. 

“While you two do that, I will take him back to the station first.” Nanami told Satoru as he started heading towards the police station. “Umm, excuse me! Do you mind… if I ask you for your name?” You shyly peaked at Nanami. “Nanami Kento.” He replied with a smile as he turned and walked away.

You were still in your little zoned out state as Satoru jealously watches your eyes follow Nanami. “Should we head inside?” Satoru snaps you back to reality. “Umm, yes. Sorry about that. Thank you for all your help.” You politely bow at him. “My name is Satoru Gojo, do you mind telling me yours?” He playfully tilts his head to the side. “My name is Y/N L/N, sorry, I'm still feeling a little shaken up from what just happened.” 

Satoru was glad he finally became acquainted with you, but now he has a problem. You are clearly interested in Nanami and he needs to make sure this doesn't develop into something more. 

Satoru went with you to explain what just happened to your employer and they gave you the rest of the day off. Satoru walked with you to the police station and filed a report. He offered to take you home as well since you might be scared to be alone, which he was right. 

You didn't want to bother Satoru and was about to turn down his offer when he told you that he was actually getting off and really wanted to see you get home safely. You finally agreed and waited as he changed out of his uniform before he took you home. 

The two of you walk side by side, Satoru has his hands in his pocket, while you secretly sneak side peaks at him. You were so preoccupied with Nanami earlier that you didn't realize Satoru, he's tall and is in great shape, he's handsome and you can't help but think he has the most beautiful eyes. You also couldn't shake the feeling that you've seen him before but can't remember from where, you just find him really familiar.

Satoru realized you were looking and smiled to himself again, he wanted to take up all of your thoughts, make you think of only him, him, him. 

The two of you chatted a bit more while waiting for the bus and you told Satoru a little more about yourself, how you live alone and don't have too many friends, which Satoru already knows about but acts like he just found out. When the bus finally arrived, it was almost at full capacity, which was in Satoru's favor. 

People were pushing and shoving around, and he got the perfect opportunity to be close to you. He got you safely caged between his arms while providing you enough personal space, he would occasionally get shoved towards you and his body would ‘accidentally’ press against yours, making you flushed. 

You suddenly remember your dreams when Satoru was shoved against you once more, his tone chest was pushed right against your burning cheeks, you couldn't help but bring your hands up and tried to gently push him back. Your finger accidentally brushes against his nipple and he lets out a quiet moan only you were able to hear. Your eyes widened and shot up to his face, your hand gripping tightly on his shirt in front of his chest, Satoru was blushing and tried to hide his face with one of his hands and you thought he was the cutest thing. 

You should really apologize but when you opened your mouth, wanting to say sorry, the word “Cute” came out instead. Satoru now staring down at you with widened eyes, he wants to be ‘cool’ or ‘hot’ in front of you, not ‘cute’. He slightly pouted and you just couldn't help but want to see more of his face. 

You didn't know what overcame your thoughts, you forgot where you are, or that this is the first time you've met Satoru, he feels so familiar to you that it just felt right. You moved your hand over his chest again, brushing over his now hardened nipple as he twitched from your touch. You kept playing with his nipple while your ear still pressed on his chest, listening to his quicken heart beats, even bringing up your other hand to play with the other side. Satoru was trying to act normal but you could tell his breathing has become irregular, he is taking breaths through his mouth, trying not to let another moan slip.

As much as Satoru liked the way you were playing with him, he noticed it was getting close to your stop. He noticed one of your hands was slowly traveling down, feeling his toned abs as it got lower and lower. 

Satoru grabs your wrist, which finally snaps you out of your trance. You instantly became bright red, unsure what took over you, just as you were about to say something, Satoru whispers in your ear first. “Didn’t think you were this brave to do this on the bus to someone you've just met. We have been on the bus for a while, did we miss your stop?” Satoru knows the stop is up ahead and wants to make sure you don't miss it. 

Finally aware of your surroundings, you noticed you would be getting off at the next stop. “It’s the next stop… Please forgive me! I'm usually not like this.” You were so embarrassed you couldn't look at him in the face. Satoru just let out a smile and didn't say anything else. 

Finally getting off the bus, you speed ahead as Satoru catches up to you easily with his long legs. When arriving at your house, you quickly turned around and bowed at a 90 degree angle, apologizing for what you did to him on the bus, hoping he wouldn't arrest you for sexual harassment. 

“Is it ok with you… if I come see you again?” Satoru shyly pouts as he asks you the question, while avoiding eye contact. You blushed again but nodded your head. “Can I get your phone number? It's rude to just show up unannounced.” Satoru tries to make up a reason for him to officially get your number, even though he already had it memorized a long time ago. “Sure Mr. Gojo.” You shyly take his phone and enter your contact info. “Please, just call me Satoru.” His smile was so bright it could put the sun to shame. 

“Well then, Satoru, see you around.” You said your goodbyes and rushed inside. You were still trying to process what got over you earlier when Satoru texts you.

‘It was nice meeting you, Y/N. I really hope we get to see each other again soon.’ 

You clutched your phone close to your chest, trying to calm yourself down. You ran to your sofa and layed on your back, staring at your phone contact. You vaguely remember meeting someone with white hair like his, you thought it would just be a crazy coincidence and it was just someone who looked like him. He does, however, make you think about all the wet dreams you've been having. The male figure seems similar to Satoru's frame and you just love the way he moaned when you touched him. You still couldn't figure out how you had the courage to do what you did, it felt natural, like your body had been trained. 

You shook off the idea and decided to take a shower and cool your head. You ate your dinner shortly after and headed to bed. You finally decided to reply to Satoru's text. 

You: ‘It was really nice meeting you too. Thank you for everything you did today, hope you have a great night.’ 

Satoru: ‘Would you mind if we get lunch together tmr? 👉👈’

You: ‘my lunch break is pretty short, I usually just pick up something small in the morning and call it. If you don't mind, I could pick up extra and we could eat together?’ 

Satoru: ‘That sounds fantastic!! I'll see you tomorrow. Let me know when I should head over. Good night Y/N hope you have a sweet dream.’ 

You: ‘thanks, you too. Good night Satoru.” 

You put your phone to the side and turned and faced your pillow and let out a happy scream. Just as you thought you would like to find someone to start a relationship with, Satoru magically appears in front of you, not to mention he's super good looking and fit. You pretty much had forgotten all about Nanami and your head was just filled with Satoru. 

You fell asleep shortly from being overexcited, you had another dream but this time it's more tame. The male figure has been replaced with Satoru, the 2 of you were just going out on dates and having a great time. 

Little did you know Satoru was in your house again watching you sleep. He was about to lose it when he heard you giggling in your sleep then proceeded to call out his name. It took everything in him to not just wake you up and have his way with you. He knew you would never forgive him if he did, so he just kissed you and left for the night. 

The lunch date went as planned, your co-workers all gathered around you after lunch, they all wanted you to fill them in for how you managed to score a hot guy like Satoru. Choso was avoiding you and Yuki felt sorry for him, knowing he had the biggest crush on you but you were just too oblivious. 

Satoru would meet you daily and have lunch with you. After a week of lunch dates he finally asked you if you could be his girlfriend which you quickly said yes.

You asked Yuki to shop with you on your next day off, you wanted to upgrade your wardrobe but not sure what you should get. Yuki brought you to a lingerie store and said now that you have a boyfriend, those might come in handy. Satoru secretly wants to thank Yuki for that. 

You were checking the lingerie sets and one particular set caught your eyes. It was a pretty white lace set with a couple of cute baby blue ribbons. You bought it along with a few that Yuki chose for you. 

Satoru was excited since he only heard your conversation with Yuki and didn't actually follow you this time, even though he left the bug on you so he could always hear what you're up to. It’s not that he doesn't trust you, he worries that the other guys would try to make a move on you and steal you away. 

When you got home, Satoru called you and told you he made plans for a dinner date at a fancy restaurant and would pick you up after work. Just as you start to panic about what you should wear, your doorbell rings. Satoru had ordered you an outfit to wear for your dinner. 

The outfit was a 2 piece set, the top was a white turtleneck with a baby blue scarf like material around the neck and the bottom was a long skirt with the same blue that matched the scarf. You were happy with the outfit, it was something similar to what you normally would wear but looks a bit better.

You wore your lingerie and outfit to work that day, your male co-workers couldn't keep their eyes off you. Choso straight out started nose bleeding when he saw you. Your outfit was no were close to revealing, but the material was hanging on your body just right, the little scarf around your neck looks like a ribbon of a present, which they all want to unwrap. 

You helped Choso clean up and he found out about the reason for the outfit you were all dressed up for today. Choso felt a ping of jealousy, he thought to himself ‘if your outfit got ruined, would you still go on your date?’ he quickly shook the idea out of his mind, he knew you would be upset if that happened. He just secretly wished you would notice his feelings for you. 

Satoru shows up in his car to pick you up after work, along with a bunch of white and blue roses. Making all your female co-workers envy you as you got in his car. 

“You look really pretty in that outfit.” Satoru checks you out up and down. “Thank you for picking it out for me, I loved it.” You leaned over and placed a quick peck on his cheeks. Satoru wanted to push your seat down and do you right there, but he held back. 

You arrived at the restaurant, it was in a tall building overlooking the city below. You look around and find there was no one else around when Satoru told you he reserved the whole restaurant for just the 2 of you. You slightly pouted and told him to stop wasting his money like this, and that you would be happy even if he had brought you to McDonalds. 

The food started coming and you had forgotten about everything else. Everything tasted so good you thought you could really get used to this. 

After dinner Satoru was driving you home, testing waters by placing his hand between your thighs while his fingers intertwined with yours. You didn't stop him, only stared out the window as your cheeks become red, making him hum in satisfaction. 

Satoru helped you with bringing the roses into your house. And as he stood at the doorway about to leave, you stood in front of him. “Thank you for the fantastic night Satoru.” You looked into his eyes with desire, making his Adam apple bobbed from your intense stare. “If you stare at me like that, it makes me not want to leave.” Satoru looks at you with darkened eyes, placing his hand on your cheek and brushing your lower lip with his thumb. “Then sta-” his lips had instantly captured yours, not even letting you finish. 

He picked you up in one arm while he took his shoes off again, his lips not leaving yours even for a second. You told him the direction to your room, which he had already been a thousand times without you knowing. 

He laid you down on the bed admiring your beauty for a second as you stared at him with wanting eyes. He pulls on the end of the scarf, undoing the ribbon and slowly lifts your top up and removes it. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw the pretty white lace with the cute blue ribbons. “You're gonna be the death of me.” Satoru leans back in for another kiss as his hands quickly work on removing your skirt too. 

He took another moment to look at you with just your lingerie, his stare so intense which made you move your arms unintentionally to hide yourself. “No, no, no, no sweetheart, don't hide them from me.” Satoru tries to soothe you. “It's not fair if you only get to see…” you shyly pouts at Satoru. 

“You should help me get undressed then.” Satoru smirks at you, bringing your hands to the buttons on his shirt. Your fingers are now working on unbuttoning his shirt as he quickly undo his belt. He takes off his shirt and slides his pants off, you were just staring at him in awe. He looks so beautiful it almost felt unreal, when your hands finally touched him, it almost felt like you've always known him, even if this was the first time. 

“Satoru… I've never done this before, but somehow everything feels so natural. Am I a pervert…?” You covered your face with your hands, feeling so embarrassed for how you feel no restraint even though it was your first time. 

Satoru looks at you with gentle eyes, grabbing your wrist to move your hands away from your face. “It feels this way because you already know me.” You looked confused for a moment, “When?” You questioned him. “Once upon a dream.” You couldn't help but laugh at his cheesy line, once your laughter subsided, you stared into his eyes. “Are you here to make my dreams come true?” Satoru leans in and kisses your forehead, “I would do anything for you.” 

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a longing kiss. Satoru's tongue and yours dance in harmony as his hands wander on your body. He finally removes your bra, licking and kissing down your jaw and neck before reaching your breasts. 

Your cute little moans were driving him crazy, he would buck his hips on your mattress while laying between your legs as he took a big mouthful of your tits one at a time. 

You wanted to pleasure him too, and with a sudden surge of power you were able to push him over. Satoru was shocked as he laid on his back, eyes widened as he looked at you. You moved between his legs and slowly tugged at his boxers. He lifted himself high enough for you to pull it down as his hardened cock springs and smacked again his lower abdomen.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of his cock. You've never seen one up close before, you swallow your saliva a few times and Satoru just watches you as he holds himself up with his elbows, waiting for your next move. He wasn't sure what you would do, would you panic and have second thoughts? 

Just as he thought you were having cold feet, you wrapped your hands around his throbbing cock, earning a whine out of him. Satoru loves how soft your hands are, his pre-cum keeps dripping down. 

You stroke his cock a few times from the base to the tip, making him throw his head back as he loses himself at your touch. You surprised him by putting your lips on the tip of his cock, his eyes snapping back to your face as he reached for your cheeks. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, babe, you don't have to do this.” Satoru's cheeks were burning red as his Adam's apple bobbed. “But I want to.” You looked into his eyes innocently. “You're killing me babe. Ughh fine.” Satoru let go of your face, just as you were about to continue, he had you turn around in a sixty-nine position. “??!!?” you were shocked but Satoru says, “If you get to have your way, I'll get to have mine.” 

He pulled your panties down, you were so wet that there was a string of slick that was attaching your panties to your soaked cunt. Satoru couldn't wait anymore as he ripped the panties right off. “Hey! These were new and it's my favorite set!!” you protest, watching him fling the ripped panties to God knows where. “Don't worry babe, I'll be buying you a thousand more.” 

Satoru licks a strip from your clit to your cunt, moaning and complementing how sweet you tasted. You didn't want to be out done, you started licking him from the base to the tip. “Fuckkkkkk. That feels so good.” Satoru sends vibrations up your cunt as he speaks, making you moan. You take his cock in your mouth, humming as you struggle to take all of him, sending vibrations back to Satoru in a never ending cycle. 

It almost feels like there was a competition going on, each wanting to make the other cum first. But you know you were at a disadvantage since you've never done it before and weren't sure if Satoru had done this with anyone else. Little did you know Satoru was already so far on the edge, he was trying his hardest to not cum right away. 

Satoru tries his best to distract you, he starts rubbing rough circles on your clit as his tongue enters the tightness of your cunt, gliding around in a wicked way. He had your head thrown back for a moment, he could feel your hips moving for more fiction, he inserted his middle finger slowly as his tongue worked its magic. 

You lean back down and start sucking harder on his leaking cock, drinking up his pre-cum, making him buck his hips. You could only fit half of him in your mouth and use your hands to jerk the remaining parts. 

Satoru was so close but wanted you to cum first and knows exactly where your favorite spot is. He hooks his arm around you, holding you down so you won't be able to escape as his middle finger rubs the one spot which makes you release every time. 

You were cumming and trying to pull away, Satoru knows this and already had you pinned down, “Sa-toru!! Cumming!!” Your hands were still around his cock and was squeezing around his base, “Sh-hit me too!!” Satoru came so hard his cum shot up and some landed on your face.

Satoru turned you around once again and had you laying down beside him. He saw his cum on your face and his half softened cock instantly became rock hard again. “You got some on your face, here let me wipe it off.” Satoru was trying to grab a Kleenex when you touched your face. You dabbed some of his cum and licked your finger. Satoru moaned as he watched you taste his cum. “It tastes… sweet.” You smile at Satoru as he wipes the rest off with the Kleenex. 

Satoru was now sitting up between your legs, you could see his cock throbbing painfully hard again. He had one hand on your hip and the other was running small gentle circles on your puffy clit. He wanted more, he wanted to be inside you, he wanted to finally make you his. You could see the desire darken in his eyes, and secret you want the same, you want to be connected to him. 

“Will it hurt?” You shyly ask Satoru. “Maybe, but I will try my best to make you feel good.” Satoru speaks so gently, sending shivers up your spine. “Will it all fit?” You look down at his huge pulsing cock. “Oh I'll make it fit babe.” Satoru smirks with confidence. You put one hand on his forearm and the other over your entrance, holding your folds open with your fingers. “Make me yours, Satoru.” 

Satoru wanted to ram his cock inside you at that second, but he didn't want to hurt you. You could see veins popping up his arms and forehead from restraining himself. 

He leans down to kiss you again, you could taste yourself from his kiss as his tongue swirls in your mouth. His middle finger is inserted inside your cunt once again. He's pumping his finger in and out of you, once he felt you've loosen up a bit, he inserted his index finger along with the other.

The sudden stretch had you gasping, you already felt so full just from his fingers, how are you going to take all of his cock? Just as your mind wanders off, Satoru wraps his index finger with his middle and starts turning his wrist, sending another wave of pleasure rippling through you. “You're gonna make me cum again!” you tried to warn Satoru, he whispers into your ear as he uses his body to weigh you down. “Cum for me.” 

Your second orgasm hits you harder than the first, making your body spaz under him. Satoru pulls his fingers out and sticks them in his mouth to lick off your slick. He slotted his cock between your folds and rubbed himself against your slit, coating his cock with your slick. 

He lines himself up to your pussy, his tip kissing the entrance. “Are you ready?” He asks as he prepares. You nod your head and he smiles. Satoru grabs onto your hip and slowly pushes his way in. He had you screaming in pleasure as he pushed through the tight walls. “I need you to relax, you are pushing me out.” Satoru pants as he tries rubbing circles on your clit as he pulls back a bit just to push in again. 

You tried your best to relax but it did hurt. You bite down to your bottom lip so hard that it draws blood. Satoru sees this and reminds you to breathe and licks your lips which actually help to calm you down, making you a bit more relaxed. “Good girl, you're doing great.” His words encourage you to relax furthermore. Satoru pushes more of his cock in you, his praise had you gushing around his cock, making it easier to enter. You could feel his cock pushing his way inside, every vein, every throb, molding you into his shape. 

You feel so full of Satoru your eyes become watery from the overwhelming feeling. When your tears finally overflow, Satoru informs you he is all the way in. “You have no idea how long I've waited for this.” Satoru confessed. You weren't sure what he meant, since the 2 of you didn't know each other that long.

Satoru had been stalking you for months and had been doing all kinds of things to you while you were sleeping. You've always thought you were just dreaming, little did you know it was all very very real. 

“I'm going to start moving now, are you ready?” Satoru was not actually trying to ask, he was going to start rolling his hips even if you protest now. But you never did, nodding your head again as he hums with your approval. He starts by pulling back painfully slowly, until only his tip is inside of you, then he pushes his way back in just as slowly, making you whine from slowly being filled up again by his hard throbbing cock. He does that a few more times before you voiced out.

“Satoru!!! Please hah… I need m-more!” You begged, the slow friction was not enough, you were getting greedy. “Of course ngh, anything for my mmm… darling.” His eyes landed on your teary face as he licked his lips. He pulled out slowly one last time and held himself there for a few seconds as he tilted his head back to steady his breath. Just as you were about to call his name again “Sato- ahhh!!” He sheaths himself back into your tight walls in one powerful thrust,  having your back arching off the bed.

Satoru is now thrusting hard and fast at an inhumane pace, you were trying to push him away with your hands before he grabbed hold of your wrists to use them to pull you towards him. “Too much!! Cumming!! Nngh!!” You were gushing all around his cock again but he shows no sign of slowing down. Your orgasm kept going on and on, till your mouth was gaping open and eyes rolled back to the back of your head. 

“Heh… you came so hard just now.” Satoru finally slows down but he is not pulling out. “Sensitive… Satoru, please, I need a break.” You whine and try to back away. He grabbed onto your hips, “No, babe, I haven't cum yet. You're a good girl, you'll let me cum right?” 

Your mind was going blank but you replied with a “mmhmm” which had Satoru suddenly pulled out and turning your body till you're on all four. He lines himself up to your twitching entrance then thrusted himself back in. It feels like his cock is going even deeper in this position, your brain is turning into mush, your arms couldn't hold you up anymore as you collapse onto your bed. Your knees were shaking but Satoru’s grip on your hips held you up. 

He was losing his mind as well, he had one foot planted on the bed as he fucks you hard from behind. His cock hits your g-spot repeatedly and turns you into a drooling mess, you couldn't even form words anymore, your moans were the only sounds coming out of you. 

Your walls were squeezing him so tight he was about to burst. He wasn't sure if you would allow him to cum inside you, since this is your first time. “Babe, I'm cumming, where..” he didn't even finish his question before you screamed out “Inside!! Cum inside!!!” all you heard was another whine from Satoru before hot ropes of cum hit your deepest parts over and over. 

Satoru was being milked dry, but he gladly gives you every last drop. He doesn't pull out, even as he softens, wanting to plug you up so his cum stays in you longer. 

Satoru finally pulled you to his chest as he lay down on your bed, spooning you as he still had you plugged up. You were so exhausted you fell asleep quickly in the comfort of his embrace. Satoru lightly strokes your head and slowly succumbs to his own sleepiness.

Satoru thought he was still dreaming when he woke up with you in his arms early in the morning. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and breathes you in, he could feel his blood rushing to his cock. Satoru whines when he realized he was still safely tucked inside your spongy walls, his raging erection had you stirring while you were still asleep. 

Your little moans and whines were so adorable that Satoru couldn't help but want more friction along his hard length. You weren't wet enough for him to actually move yet, so he slowly rolled you over with your front pressed on the mattress and he pinned you down with his own body as he started playing with your clit. 

You were starting to feel everything, the way Satoru was rubbing circles on your clit and how his half sheathed cock kept throbbing trying to make its way inside. You were fully woken up when Satoru decided to pinch your puffy clit, sending shivers up your spine.

“Sa-toru??! Aah!” As you tried to struggle underneath him, “good morning babe, sorry, I couldn't ngh… help myself.” The attack on your clit gets rougher. You are now wet enough for Satoru to start moving. 

He begins by pulling himself all the way out, the sudden emptiness has your hips chasing his cock. Satoru noticed and let's put a low chuckle, he got off of you and laid on his back, making you wonder why he didn't keep going. 

As you pushed yourself up to look at him, he tapped his thighs, “get on me.” you didn't even get enough time to respond when Satoru's hands found your hips and easily adjusted you on top of him.

“I want you to ride me.” Satoru had you sitting on his cock. Your slit was rubbing along his cock as he moved your hips and grinded against you. “Mmgh.. it's so early in the morning. And we did so much last night.” You tried to protest. “I can never get enough of you, I don't ever want to get separated from you. Plus, I can't leave you all wet and my cock all hard.” 

Satoru has one hand massaging one of your butt cheeks as the other stretches from your hips while his thumb rubs against your clit, why are his hands so big? He also looks at you with his big, beautiful, blue puppy eyes while giving you a little pout. It was a losing battle from the start, there was no way for you to turn down his charm. As you tried to adjust yourself to take him, Satoru let out the brightest toothy smile, making your heart pound against your chest. 

His cock was already standing in full attention as you lifted yourself up to welcome him, you paused as you lined yourself up to his length. You slowly sink yourself down, Satoru was already a leaking mess as you go past the tight ring of muscles. You were already beginning to struggle when he was only half way inside. “You can do it babe, do it for me.” You bite down to your bottom lip as you pull yourself up to sink back into him, which gets him a bit deeper. “Only 3 inches left, you can do it, I know you can.” Satoru tries to talk you through but you thought it would be impossible, 3 more inches??? There is no way you could take all of him. 

“Aahhha… I don't ngh! I can't.. oh!” You were trying hard but you were at your limits. “You must. You took me so well last night. You can do it again.” Satoru moved his big hands to your hips and pulled you down, making you scream from pleasure. He's lifting you up and down his length easily like you were his toy. He’s feral, he had both his feet firmly planted on the mattress as he lifted himself up to thrust up into you. You were trying hard to hold on, you thought this would be similar to a mechanic bull if you ever got on one. Satoru has a death grip on your hips but still feels like you would fly off any second from the way he's thrusting into you. 

You were close to the edge when you looked down on Satoru's face. He was gritting his teeth and his eyebrows were furrowed, he is also at his limits. Your pussy clutches on his cock when you see the expression on his face. “Argh!! I'll cum if you squeeze me that hard.” Satoru was slowly losing his rhythm, this thrusts getting sloppy as he slams you down to his cock. “Cumming!!!” You both said in unison as your bodies twitch and ride out your orgasms. 

Satoru finally collapsed down against the mattress and you on top of him. Both trying to catch your breath, you were looking for your phone to check the time since you have work. You panicked when you saw the time, your alarm had gone off and turned itself off for ringing too long. You tried to pull yourself off of Satoru's cock but your legs gave out, causing the both of you to whine. 

“How am I going to go to work like this??” You were a hard worker, you would go into work even when you're not feeling well. You are also very bad at lying, you are not sure how to let them know the reason why you couldn't go to work. Satoru couldn't help but giggle at the way you were panicking, you glared at him but he just thinks you were the most adorable little thing. 

“You could always just quit and come live off me.” Satoru hums, he was serious about taking care of you. “That's crazy Satoru… we JUST started dating not too long ago. You would really let me live off you?” You raised your brow questioning him. “Mmhmm! You can be my pretty little housewife, you will never have to work a single day for the rest of your life.” He pulls you into his embrace. 

You blush now, Satoru had pretty much just purposes to you, and a part of you wants to just say yes, but another part of you worry, ‘what if this doesn't work out?’ Satoru was never going to let you go now that he felt how your pussy was made for him, he would chase you to the end of the universe. 

You end up calling into work, Satoru had a day off and the 2 of you went to the dessert shop to get your favorite mochi. 

“So you 2 ended up together.” The cashier comments, you blinked at her confused. “Who could forget how pathetic your lover boy was when he didn't get the mochi he wanted, even bagged the other lady to sell him the ones she got.” Satoru was Sheeshing at her and she continued, “You gave him your box of dessert before you ran out.” She looks at you confused, as in she was questioning how you could have forgotten it.

Now that you thought about it, you do recall that happening, finally remembering his fluffy white hair. “Oh my god Nobara! What did we say about being rude to the customers??!” A boy with spiky hair shouts from the back. She stuck out her tongue and walked away, another cheerful boy with pink hair came out and finished serving the 2 of you. 

“So… is there anything you are forgetting to tell me? We didn't really meet by chance did we?” You question Satoru. He was nervous, not sure how to answer. “Only if you promise you will not get mad” Satoru says as he runs ahead of you. 

Notes: sorry this took a while... I had this 90% done and sitting in the drafts and started reading the works of the other wonderful people 🙇 forgive me

[rxmxa]

The Leo-Aquarius Axis Redefined pt. 2 ⚡ 🧪⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Part One on the Leo-Aquarius Axis (Good to Read for Reference)

I was watching some intense video footage with my friend after something really brutal and chaotic happened in my neighborhood. Watching it alone was overwhelming because there was so much violence and chaos happening back to back. But then I re-watched it with my Aquarius stellium friend. And when I say stellium, I mean stellium. This girl is an Aquarius Sun, Mercury, Mars, Venus, Rising, with a Capricorn Moon and Uranus in the 10th house. She is genuinely the smartest person I know.

What I didn’t fully realize until that moment was just how good Aquarius energy is at processing information. Aquarius is an air sign, which means it thrives on mental challenges and intellectual stimulation. But it’s also fixed, which gives it a steady and sustained focus that doesn’t waver. Symbolically, Aquarius is the Water Bearer. It pours out knowledge, deep and distilled, offering it to the world. In moments of chaos, it feels like Aquarius processes everything at light speed, distills the important parts, and hands you the answers in such a breezy and nonchalant manner all like, “Oh, you didn’t notice that incredibly specific detail?”

While we were watching the footage, she kept pausing to point things out. She would say, “Look here, see his hand? Notice how he flinched.” Then she would rewind and say, “Listen again, did you hear what he said? He said ‘xyz.’” By the end of the night, mostly thanks to her, we had pieced together the timeline of what happened.

It was a heavy experience, but it also got me thinking about something I had written before about the Leo-Aquarius axis.

In that post, I said:

“If you are struggling to shine and develop your self-expression (Leo), look at the opposite of that (Aquarius), where you might need to release and let go of pressure. Especially internal pressure, since air sign energy is so connected to our thoughts and intellect. This sets the stage for success that feels aligned with your most genuine self.”

At the time, I was so focused on this idea of detachment leading to success that I wrote:

“The 11th house (Aquarius) rules your profits from your career, while the 5th house (Leo) rules your creativity and hobbies. Think about how many people have created art (5th house) without worrying about success or money, only to find widespread acclaim and rewards (11th house). In interviews, they always say, ‘I never imagined this would happen. I never imagined I would reach so many people.’ Why? Because they had detached. And that mindset can take you far.”

While that’s absolutely true, I realized I hadn’t fully considered the depth of this axis.

Aquarius isn’t just about letting go and hoping for the best. You don’t magically detach and suddenly see success show up in your Leo house.

Yes, you need to release expectations in your Aquarius house. But Aquarius isn’t about not caring. It’s about caring deeply for the process itself. It’s about learning for the sake of learning. Aquarius is the mad scientist energy, the inventor, the one who experiments and explores because it’s fascinating and because it feeds them.

Wherever Aquarius is in your chart, that’s where you need to step into that energy. It’s where you become the mad scientist, endlessly curious and driven to learn and discover. You absorb information, try new things, and gather knowledge for the sake of it. That process becomes the fuel that allows your Leo house to shine.

Aquarius prepares and strategizes, and Leo performs and shines. Success aligns when both energies are flowing together.

Aquarius builds the blueprint. It is the blueprint. Then Leo distributes it to the world. That’s where success or even monetization comes in. But it’s always at your pace, and always through doing what you love.

How I Applied This in My Own Life

This realization hit me on such a personal level because I have struggled with 6th house themes my entire life. My weight, my routines, building habits, staying consistent. etc. No matter how hard I tried to force structure into my day-to-day life, it just never clicked. I would start strong, burn out, and then spiral into frustration.

But when I stopped trying to force myself into systems that didn’t fit me and leaned into my Aquarius 12th house energy, everything shifted. I stopped seeing my habits as rigid checklists and started treating them like little experiments. I became curious, open to trial and error, and focused on the process instead of the outcome.

Suddenly, my 6th house started to thrive. My health (gut health, mental health, lost 15 pounds) improved, my daily routines felt sustainable (set boundaries at work), and consistency became something I didn’t have to force anymore. It became second nature to be this new version of me.

The Leo-Aquarius Axis Guide

If you’ve ever felt torn between wanting to shine like Leo and strategize like Aquarius, my guide will show you how to:

Identify your Aquarius Lab and your Leo Stage in your chart

Create a sustainable cycle of preparation (aqua) and performance (leo)

Use both energies to create confidence, clarity, and success

get the guide here: ✨ [Mastering the Leo-Aquarius Axis] ⚡ 🧪⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Con mucho amor, Ramona 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

[nneteyamss]

ROSES — 19. FAWK

(partly written)

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y/n walked to the park, clutching her jacket closer to her body. the december air blew into her face making her cheeks red as she buried her face further into her scarf.

“why the fuck couldn’t i have picked somewhere warm… my ass should not be put in the cold at 8 o’clock at night.” y/n mumbled to herself, already regretting leaving her warm bed. from a distance she spotted intak seated on a bench, looking at his phone. he was bundled up in a big winter jacket and a scarf wrapped around his neck. yet he had hat, letting snow fall and stick to his black hair. intak suddenly looked up hearing y/n approach and stood to greet her.

“hey… thanks for meeting with me, sorry it’s cold.” guilt instantly ran through y/n’s body because he seemed nervous.

“sorry for making you wait, i don’t know why i picked outside..”

“no it’s okay, i just got here a couple minutes before you.”

y/n simply nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets. the silence was lasted as neither of the two said anything after that.

“uhm do you want to sit? i cleared the snow off the bench.” he gestures to the bench and she nods. they sit down and another awkward silence fills the air.

“so, what did you want to talk about?” y/n turns to him, breaking the silence.

“oh right! i wanted to apologize again about the other day. i shouldn’t have kissed you without asking or so suddenly like that.”

“i appreciate and accept your apology, but why were you there?”

“i don’t know how to explain this without sounding crazy but i knew jaehyun was going to be there, and i had a weird feeling he was going to try something. i came in disguise and i approached you because i saw him walking up to you” y/n started at him with a blank stare, processing what he just said.

“so you were stalking me?”

“well no… but yes? yes to an extent!” intak fumbled over his words, not expecting that question. he thought of it more as keeping an eye out on her for a space she knew the man she so says didn’t like was going to be in. now that she said it though, it kind of seemed like stalking. “sorry” he mumbled.

“your disguise was ass by the way, you should’ve asked shota for his fake mustache” she giggled looking ahead of her. the situation was getting too serious, and she felt the need to make it more lighthearted.

“no way… he said the SAME thing. how do YOU know about the fake stache?”

“i’m the one who bought it for him of course!”

“this is like a full circle moment, what the fuck.” the two laughed together at the moment. who would’ve ever thought that shota having a fake mustache would arise in this convo. however, the laughter eventually died down and intak turned serious. he turned to y/n and grabbed her hands, which were now out of her pockets.

“listen, i need to talk about the main reason i wanted to talk. please don’t say anything until i’m done.” he was dead serious, y/n nodded and pushed down any jokes she could’ve made in the moment. “we’ve been fake dating for a couple months now. we both know the original reason this started. but y/n… i really like spending time with you, like a lot. you’re funny, gorgeous, caring, and so much more. i didn’t plan it but i thought this was just gonna be some fun side quest activity. the more time i spent with you and got to actually know you and your personality, the more i started to actually like you. i tried to fight it off because i mean this relationship wasn’t real and i’m your brothers friend, but i can’t help it. i really… really want this to be real. we get along so well, and there’s a connection. what i really called you out here for was to ask this. i really really like you, could i have the honor of being your boyfriend?”

the long speech was followed by silence. one blink, two blinks, no words. embarrassment gnaws at intak who immediately started to regret asking out of fear of her not feeling the same. yet, he didn’t say anything and let her take her time.

“intak, i didn’t know you felt that way. i feel like this is very sudden though. i need to think about this before i answer, im so sorry” intak nodded and gave her hands a squeeze before letting go. “i’ll text you, i just need to think.” she said again before standing up.

“that’s okay” he gave her a small, yet warm smile. his cheeks were red and his hair was getting damp from the snow. y/n reached forward and pulled his jacket hat onto his head.

“you should get home before you get sick… it’s cold and you don’t have a hat.” the words left her mouth quietly, but intak still heard since the night was quiet was well.

“you should get back as well”

y/n nodded and put her hands back in her pockets, “i’ll see you.” she said and began making her exit of the park and going back home, leaving intak standing in the cold. by time she got in her car and started driving away, intak made his way to his car, waving as she backed out the parking spot.

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notes: lalala guess who finished finals, passed all their classes, and got back to work again this week (i need to make all the money i can over break for psyfe and 127 concerts) 🙂‍↕️

[bloggerspam]

Big thanks to @stealingyourbones for providing much needed context to Jason's search for his birth mom. This wouldn't exist without some semblance of canon to lean on! (Even if I do twist it in fandom fashion....DC stands for Disregard Canon after all)

===

When Jason gets a hold of himself, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and takes a deep breath.

It's a mistake.

When he heaves in air, it's with the acrid stench of dumpster and sewage, not to mention Jason's dinner in the form of glop.

Ugh.

When he gets his wits about him, he straightens up to find that he's in a familiar place: Crime Alley.

Dani, who had been rubbing his back, backs off with a sheepish smile. "Whoops! Forgot first timers can have a rough go of it."

"…Right." Jason spits out the last of the vomit taste, surveying their surroundings. He was just here, not a couple hours ago, when he was given his parents’ box of things. Even so, something is off. Different.

It's Crime Alley, no doubt about it, but…

"You're too young to have much of a past," Dani grabs his hand once more, floating them up to the rooftop, "But that doesn't mean there's nothing to show you."

Jason's been picked up by Superman, he's flown before, via hero or grapple, but he doesn't think he's ever felt gravity fall away quite like this. When she first picked him up this way, there wasn't enough time to even feel disoriented. Here and now, it takes him a minute just to get his footing, not that feet are all that involved in the process.

Dani doesn't help, doesn't even give him the space to properly get oriented, propelling them up and up and up.

But he does, at the same time he realizes that she's looking for something and referencing a piece of paper she's gotten from somewhere. No, wait. Jason squints. It's a post-it, a neon green one with a little map drawn on it in purple ink.

That's…a color combination for sure.

"A-ha!" Dani perks up, stuffing the sticky note in her pocket and jetting them forward.

Straight towards a building. Straight towards a wall.

"Wai—" Jason tries to tug himself free, brings his free arm up to, he doesn't know, brace himself? He braces his feet forward, as if to possibly stop their inevitable slamming into the side of a building.

"Oh don't be such a baby," Dani doesn't even look over at him, green eyes flashing bright green as her grin goes feral. They speed up, Jason's heart seems to beat out of his chest. He cries out, shutting his eyes as a shiver works its way through him, the chill of the wind slamming through him, a feeling of something jamming itself from his feet to his legs to his chest to his head—

But the impact never comes. He opens his eyes, and he stares behind them at the now interior side of…presumably, the building wall they were about to slam into.

Before he can really comprehend what that means, that chill crawls through him again, quick as a slap to the insides, from his feet to the back of his head, and then he blinks.

Density shifting.

Huh.

"You could have just said—" Jason grumbles, focusing once more on orienting himself. How did Ender do it? The enemy's gate is down.

Jason huffs. Thanks for nothing, Orson Scott Card.

They dip and dive and curve around buildings, going through some of them, with no real rhyme or reason. Dani hoots and hollers, and eventually, Jason joins in. It's fun, going through his neighborhood from this angle.

He thought he knew every nook and cranny, from the ground as Jason Todd and from the roofs as Robin, but even still, it was never like this.

It's like a rollercoaster, instead of the swoops and curves grappling gives, it's like gravity keeps shifting, like he's looking at his home upside down, left side up, right side diagonal. Every single little thing is new.

Most of all, this weightlessness.

Even when Dickie taught him those flips, he's never been so light.

He wonders if this is how a true robin feels, hollow bird bones and all.

Soon enough Dani pulls them up above some kind of warehouse, one of many in the district surrounding them.

"So here's the thing," Dani grabs both his hands now, forcing him to look at her, "I've got another trick up my sleeve, but the one thing I can't do is stop sound."

"Sound?" Jason is so very confused, but then right before his very eyes, Dani disappears.

No, they both disappear. What the—

"Invisibility?" Jason can't help but say. So much for bat-training.

"Dingdingding," Dani sing-songs, "Now be quiet, you want to know the truth, right?

Before Jason can say anything to that, his mouth clamps shut as he's pulled downwards through the building. The scene they arrive at isn't a pretty one.

There're men littered around the floor, unconscious, but mostly woundless. Only two occupants stay standing.

One is a woman with a stiff upper lip, muscles almost stocky in nature, if not for the petite stature that frames it all. Hair cut into a sharp, angled bob; everything about her screams fighter. She's beautiful and rough at the same time.

She's also standing above, bloody knuckles and all, Jason Todd's very own birth dad: Willis Todd.

"You're gonna regret this, Shiva." Willis growls, hand clamped down on his bloodied arm.

The woman, Shiva, scoffs as she flicks blood off her knife. Jason resists scoffing himself, looking at the state of them.

Willis is bloodied, covered in knicks and cuts all over, but Shiva?

Pristine, save for the blood of her apparent enemies.

"Regret?" Shiva saunters over to Willis where he's collapsed and leaning on a stack of crates, "Do not be delusional. Your boss is the one who will regret this."

Willis bites his lip, but wisely keeps quiet. Shiva tilts his face up with a finger to his chin, getting in real close to whisper something in the scant space between them.

Jason stiffens from where he's watching with Dani, is this where they fall in love? Did Dani bring him here to witness something nasty right now?

But no. Shiva straightens up, pushing Willis' face away roughly with the tips of her really long nails. They look like claws, especially when they leave a cut on Willis' chin.

"Give your boss my regards, Todd." The click of Shiva's heels echo almost in time to Willis' pants of pain, "You know where to find me, once he regains what little sense he has."

It takes a long time for Willis to gather himself after that.

He wants to say something real bad, but Dani had said other people could still hear them in this state. The only reason Jason even knows he's not alone is the warmth coming from the hand in his.

He watches as his father limps his way out of the warehouse silently, the scrape of his shoe louder than any other noise.

When Willis turns the corner out of the warehouse, Jason feels himself being tugged up and through the ceiling to float in the sky, visibility returning as well as it can in the dim lights of Gotham.

Dani's eyes are focused on the distance, where his father is still limping away.

"What was that?" Jason finally asks, "Why did you show me this, is Shiva my mother after all?"

"That look romantic to you?" Dani rolls her eyes, dragging him to follow his wayward father, "I just wanted to give you context."

"Context?" Jason watches as his father enters what looks like a backdoor clinic, "For what?"

Dani doesn't answer, simply nose-dives them through the clinic’s ceiling.

There, Willis is getting patched up by a blond woman.

They look close.

They look intimate.

"Willis," The woman coos, "You have got to choose better employers."

"I know, I know," Willis soothes as she cleans out his cuts, "Soon, I promise."

"First they chose that secret agent double-crossing you," The woman clearly doesn't believe him, "Now this mercenary!"

"Sharmin, Shiva, I'm sensing a pattern," Willis chuckles weakly, "Got shit luck with the ladies, huh Sheila?"

Sheila rolls her eyes. "Do not lump me in with those…those harlots!"

Willis guffaws, and Sheila smiles as she finishes wrapping him up, giving in and laughing with him.

When they've calmed down, they stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, smiling.

"You've at least got one lady you get lucky with." Sheila grins, placing a gentle hand on Willis' chest.

Jason wants to gag.

"Helluva lady." Willis intones with a gravelly voice, "Might buy a lotto ticket."

They lean in, hard to say who does it first, to share a soft and gentle kiss.

"Aaaaand that's enough of that." Dani whispers, swiftly pulling them back through the ceiling.

She shivers dramatically, the movement of it jerking Jason a little, "Ugh. Old people flirting."

"You can say that again." Jason can feel his face scrunching up in disgust.

Dani twirls them up, and soon enough they're swallowed by the smog.

Here, in this faint darkness, it feels like Jason's in a dream. The smog feels endless and relenting, and perfectly encapsulates how lost he feels.

"So this Sheila woman is my birth mother?" Jason says into the abyss, not really expecting an answer.

"Yep." Dani answers f, "Was it everything you hoped for?"

"….They looked cozy." Jason says instead of answering. "In love, even. Gross as old people love can be."

"They were, I think." Dani agrees but doesn't expand, letting the silence float away into the smudge of Gotham Smog. It percolates, drifts around him as his emotions whirl within him like a silent tornado, zipping this way and that, sweeping all his thoughts away like a house in Kansas.

The sound of his blood pumping in his ears overlaps with the sounds of wind whipping round and round and round.

"….He was never like that, with Mom." Jason doesn't recognize the voice, at first, realizing too late that it was his own, raspy and lost, "Is it because he's younger, here?"

"I don't know." Dani shrugs carelessly, though her brows are furrowed in worry.

"I thought, even after everything, that my parents loved each other once upon a time." The smog surrounding them makes it hard for Jason to feel tethered, so he focuses on Dani's neon green eyes. "I thought maybe things just went wrong, that Willis changed because of—because of his job."

He doesn't realize how tightly he'd been squeezing her hand until she squeezes back. He almost lets go, before remembering he's only floating by virtue of her powers. She sighs.

"It's not your fault," Dani whispers, raising her free hand to hover over the medallion. The gears start to turn slowly again, the ticks and tocks jerky like they're being forced to spin. "No matter what, you have to remember that."

The smog starts to swirl, but Jason knows better now. He braces, shuts his eyes, and breathes as the world starts to shift again.

It's both quicker and slower than before. When he blinks, he's floating and thankfully not even a little bit nauseous. But it takes him longer to realize where, or rather, when they were.

They're in the old Crime Alley apartment, the one that Jason used to live in with his parents, floating just above the sofa.

Willis is digging through the fridge, grumbling, looking worse for wear.

Dani tugs his hand, snagging his attention, a finger to her mouth in the universal sign for quiet. Half a second before Willis slams the fridge door closed and turns around to see them, they both go invisible.

The noise begets another rustle, a little disgruntled murmur.

"Quiet," Willis soothes, "Mama ain't here anymore."

The man comes over to a crib, set in the living room for some reason, groaning as he rocks the baby back to sleep.

It takes another second for Jason to realize it's him.

"C'mon kid, I know you miss her." Willis gruffs out, "But she left you for dead."

The man sighs as baby Jason squirms, as if to refute him. "Still got shit luck with the ladies." He squeezes the baby, touches forehead to forehead. Baby Jason settles real quick after that. Much to Willis' apparent relief.

He looks tired, Willis. He looks broken down and on the verge of wasting away.

There's a knock at the door, soft and delicate. Willis stiffens but relaxes when Baby Jason stays asleep, gently placing him back in his crib.

He goes over to the door, and oh.

"You Todd?" Catherine asks, twitchy and young. In her early 20s, if Jason's math is right.

"Who's lookin'?" Willis leans against the door jamb, blocking the woman out of his apartment.

"Somebody wantin' to flip a coin." Catherine drawls. It's clearly a code phrase, and Willis grunts.

"Stay here." Willis tries to shut the door, but Catherine shoves a foot into the path, eyes blazing like she's daring him to shut the door in her face again. Willis darts a glance at Baby Jason, tense, but clearly deciding it would be faster to just grab the thing and make the lady go.

"Stay. Here." He growls out, letting go of the door and stomping back into the bedroom.

Catherine scoffs, but doesn't step further in.

That is, until Baby Jason makes a little noise.

She perks up, gently pushing the door in to find the source, eyes widening at the sight of the crib.

She looks towards the hallway where Willis disappeared, and Jason can practically feel the way she thinks fuck it.

Baby Jason is sniffling now, almost full-blown crying, startled by the stranger near his crib.

Catherine coos at him, ignoring the sounds of Willis running towards the commotion.

He stops in his tracks when he sees her soothing Baby Jason, bouncing him up and down in her arms and softly whispering nonsense into his ears.

Willis stays tense, his only son in the arms of a stranger, as he watches her put a now calm baby back into the crib.

"Are you hungry, little man?" Catherine asks, before snapping fingers at Willis. "Where's his milk? When's the last time you fed him?"

"Two hours ago," Willis bristles, storming over now that Baby Jason is relatively safe and pushing a small box into the woman's hands.

"So he's due for another meal," She says, not taking her eyes off of Baby Jason. Willis growls, using that box to push her away from the crib, towards the kitchen and the front door next to it.

"I know." He pushes her towards the door, "I'm gonna feed him after you're gone."

True to his word, he shuts the door, huffing and puffing for a moment like an angry cat, before heading to the kitchen to start the process of warming up formula.

He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter as he waits for the milk to finish warming up, eyes shut and clearly trying to keep it together.

Jason and Dani watch as the microwave dings, quickly followed by a comical yelp as Willis opens his eyes to see Catherine, sans box, opening the microwave door and snagging the bottle to beeline towards Baby Jason.

"Wait—you—" Willis dashes over, thrown off guard, "You didn't test the fucking milk!"

"Don't swear in front of the baby." Catherine sniffs, stopping beside the crib and testing the temp on the back of her hand. She hums, making an approving face at Willis, seemingly deeming it perfect.

She pushes the bottle back into Willis' hands just as he comes to a stop before he can reach out and grab her. The momentary confusion allows her to gently pick Baby Jason back up into her arms.

"Here you go big guy," She coos, putting her palm out and flexing her fingers in a demand for the bottle, which Willis dazedly acquiesces to. "Dinner's served."

Jason watches as his birth dad slumps, defeated, and tries not to fucking laugh.

He must be close to losing it, because suddenly his arm is yanked up, and he goes through the roof into the open air of the Gotham sky.

He looks over, Dani coming back into visual, and they both burst out laughing.

"Is—" Jason heaves a breath, getting himself back to rights, "Is that how they got together?"

Dani's giggles echo through the buildings, "Actually, no!"

"What???" Her giggles peter off as she wipes a tear from her eyes, grinning at Jason's confusion.

"It takes them a while," Dani’s eyes are so very bright in her mirth, "She has a couple more pick-ups to do, and every single time she comes a little earlier, leaves a little later, all so she can play with and feed you."

Something warm bubbles in Jason's gut, like steam traveling through the nooks and crannies of him. It goes out from the center until the very tips of his feet and hands and head are warmed through.

"And then she comes by a week later, unannounced." Dani pulls them back down through the building, landing them outside the apartment, down the hallways of it. She drags him as the medallion spins once more, this time smoother, quicker, and it's like a hop, skip and a step as the world becomes a mirage, solidifying again.

The once-empty hallway now has Catherine, duffle bag in tow, knocking gently at the door. A minute goes by, and a sleepy Willis Todd opens up, confused as all hell.

"I love your baby," Catherine says. "I love him, and he's mine."

Willis stares at her through bleary eyes, brows furrowed in indignation.

"I can't steal him away," She continues, ignoring the way Willis puffs up in threat, "And you can't do this alone."

A beat.

And then Willis deflates. He brings up a hand to ruffle his hair, grumbling and frustrated and clearly knowing that she's right.

He steps back and opens the door wider.

Catherine beams, before skipping inside, the door closing with a soft little snick.

"They loved you." Dani says, once more visible, "Whatever happened after, they did love you."

"I know." Jason whispers, a little broken, "I just don't know why they stopped."

Dani bites her lip, fingering the medallion, before clutching it in trepidation. Teeth worrying her lip, she looks at him, and breathes a cold, heavy sigh that stirs up the wind around them.

"Willis loved Sheila," Dani begins, walking towards the end of the hallway as it starts to ripple, like a mirage. The medallion hums more ticks and tocks and starts to whirl, spinning softly yet too fast. It makes it hard to tell which way it's spinning, clicking this way and that in an optical illusion.

Dani chooses a door, a dark purple one that wasn't there before, opening it up and pulling him in.

The room is equally purple, dark, and dimly lit, with just as purple furniture: A single sofa and a small TV, staticky and glowing a faint green.

Dani leads him to sit on the sofa, gesturing to the TV as scenes start to play, skipping and fast-forwarding and pausing and playing as she talks.

"Her leaving broke something in him." Sheila with a suitcase, slamming the door on her way out. Willis with his head in his hands as Baby Jason cries and cries and cries.

"Catherine loved you," Dani smiles at a series of moments, Catherine blowing raspberries, tickling his belly, having baby food fights with him just because, "And she made it easier, made it better."

"Eventually, she came to love Willis too." This particular scene plays in slow motion, Catherine and toddler Jason giggling with each other, drawing what looks like a family portrait in crayons. Toddler Jason's isn't too bad for his age. Catherine's isn't too bad for her age either.

It makes current Jason smile, until something catches Catherine's eye, her smile never dimming as Willis comes in to laugh at their drawings, eyes going all gooey as this invisible camera zooms in.

"But Willis…" Dani bites her lip again, watching with him as the scenes skip and fast forward. "Willis was stuck."

Willis watching Catherine and Jason playing on the living room floor, Catherine coaxing him to bed, Willis sitting alone on the couch, over and over with different activities, different clothes, different days.

But always, with Willis sitting in the dark, a single beer in one hand, a torn-up picture in the other.

Until it’s two beers, then three. Eventually, Catherine tries to coax him to bed only to get rebuffed.

More bottles of beer, more times away. Catherine finds a stash.

Catherine crying in the dead of the night, after smiling all day for Jason. Until eventually she can't, chasing a high she can't have.

"I don't love you." Willis is saying, voice boxy and tin-like through the old school speakers, "I don't love you, and that's the problem."

Catherine is sobbing, and Jason knows that pre-teen Jason is sitting on the other side of that door behind her.

"All life's a game," Willis hiccups, taking a long swig, "And we're all fuckin' losers."

Jason watches as more scenes flip through, familiar ones. Painful ones, phantom bruises on his arms and face.

The TV goes static again, but Jason doesn't look away. Can't.

He thinks about Bruce, his fight with him. Jason throwing those exact words at him, how powerful being Robin makes him feel.

All life's a game, Jason had said, not knowing, not remembering where it came from.

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Jason mutters, clenching his fist.

Dani sighs again, grabbing his hand and lifting him up, the medallion coughing and sputtering as the room around them fades back to a familiar sight: his room at the Manor.

"I didn't show you these things so you could wallow." Dani grumbles, dropping him unceremoniously onto his bed.

He bounces once, twice, a breath knocking out of him lightly from the sudden drop and impact.

"Why did you show me then?" Jason grumbles back, maintaining his position as a depressed starfish in the middle of his stupid giant bed.

"You're the one that wanted to know!" Dani throws her hands up, exasperated, "You're the one that wanted answers. I gave them to you, and now you're no fun. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Jason doesn't answer. Can't, really.

Because she's right. It is what he wanted. He knows who his birth mom is, he knows why Catherine was like that, and most of all, he understands Willis Todd's shitty fucking life.

Great Tragic Backstory, still a fucking asshole.

"I should have listened to Danny…" Dani mutters to herself, floating upside down as her face scrunches up in consternation, "He can probably fix this…"

"Did you forget your cane at home?" Jason jolts up, turning to see Danny's head popping up through the bed, like some kind of fucked up swamp creature, without the water. Jason shakes his head, plopping down again when Danny fully emerges to float up to Dani.

"What cane?" Dani tilts her head in confusion, but allows Danny to fuss over her.

Jason scoffs, He's the one being taken for a ride, what danger would she be in? Talk about overbearing.

"Your seeing cane," Danny answers matter of factly, before grinning with sharp teeth, "It's just, that was a lotta blind faith you got there, y'know?"

"I thought big brothers knew everything!" Dani giggles as she pushes Danny away. "But I guess you're right, that was too much to expect from you, huh?"

His grin gets a little sharper, if that's possible with the fangs he's rocking, as he lunges for her to put her in a headlock. They tussle like that, Jason watching from where he's still starfishing.

It's nice to see, if a little envious. He thinks about Dick, and then adamantly doesn't. He sits up to ruffle his own hair in frustration.

He's still not sure how to feel about Willis, about finding out about his birth mom leaving him for dead.

About Catherine, the mom he always knew about, the mom he knew nothing about,

The mom he lost.

Bruce was right, he's a fucking mess about this. He doesn't know what to feel, but he knows this at least:

Robin is magic, and Jason?

Jason's just an unwanted kid running around in tights.

Playing.

He blows out a breath, wallowing.

"He's doing it again." Dani's voice breaks him out of his funk, lifting his head to look over at the ghost siblings.

"I see what you mean." Danny tilts his head in thought, "A real self-deprecating sort, huh?"

"Tell me you have depression without saying you have depression." Dani grumbles, grossing her arms and hunching her shoulders up.

Danny hums, giving her a pat on the head and looking contemplative as he watches Jason straighten up to sit at the edge of the bed. If Christmas Carol was the theme, that means it's Danny's turn. Ghost of Christmas Present and all that.

Jason's not really looking forward to it. Sure, it helped Scrooge to see the current state of things from the other side, but Jason already knows his state of things.

Bruce is mad, Alfred's disappointed, and Dickie couldn’t care less. If Sheila's alive, she probably already thinks he's dead. Mrs. Walker has washed her hands of his family, he's sure, and the rest of the Alley…Well.

It ain't unusual to lose an acquaintance or two over there.

Dani throws her arms up, huffing as she jerkily takes the medallion off to toss it at Danny. "He's your problem now."

"Mom wants you home for dinner!" Danny calls out as he puts on the medallion and opens up a glowing green portal for Dani to go through.

Dani mumbles and grumbles as she passes through, Jason catching phrases like wanted to know and not be fudge and disappearing with the portal in a little pop!

Leaving Jason alone with the ever-present looming of the Present.

A Christmas Carol AU

Inspired by a prompt found in the @haunting-heroes-creative-games :) (i.e. back on my shit again)

When a 15 year old Jason, pissed at Bruce for taking Robin away from him, finds his birth certificate he realizes Catherine Todd is not his real mother.

Just as he resolves to go out and search for his birth mother, Jason finds himself accosted by three ghosts in his room, talking about A Christmas Carol of all things.

===

"So, what? We're gonna Christmas Carol him?"

Dan scoffs, crossing his bulky arms with an unimpressed look. "We hated that movie."

"I didn't." Dani chirps, disturbingly cheery, "I didn't see it!"

"We hate Christmas," Danny corrects, "But the movie was alright, and the logic is sound."

"I don't hate Christmas," Dani once again interjects cheerily, "I've never participated!"

"Sound my ass," Dan growls over her, throwing his hands up. "We don't even know this guy!"

"Minor detail." Danny insists, "Tuck can look him up."

"He's a fucking Bat, Danny." Dan scrunches up his face, pinching the bridge of his nose just like Vlad does when he's disgruntled with any of Dad's shenanigans.

"He's a Robin, actually." Dani pipes in, "And he's just a kid. How hard is it gonna be to pretend to be this kid's Ghosts?"

"You're a kid," Dan reminds her, crossing his arms, "And you didn't believe me when I told you sticking a fork in the outlet would shock you."

"I believed you," Dani sniffs haughtily, crossing her arms and pointing her nose up with a snooty voice, "The warning simply did not deter me from doing it anyway."

"We don't have to convince him we're his Ghosts, or even that we knew him before," Danny reasons, needling, "We just have to convince him that we're…"

He hums, pointing at Dani. "Past."

He points at himself, "Present."

He points at Dan, "Future."

Dani does a little cheer, arms up and twirling into the air before landing with her legs over Dan's shoulders, hands and head settling atop Dan's fiery, but harmless, hair. It flickers, before going limp into long white strands that Dani messes up by gently scrunching up the strands and running her fingers through them.

Dan lets her, huffing and looking weirdly like a downtrodden, wet cat. "Why am I future?"

"Because." Danny doesn't continue, because he knows it makes Dan annoyed. True to form, his scowl gets worse, like sucking on a lemon. They all know why anyway.

Dani grins, triumphant and knowing, letting her voice go real deep, "The future," she intones into Dan's hair, "is here."

"The future is now," Danny corrects her, but doesn't lose his smile, floating up to tuck a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

"The future is already here," Dan mumbles his correction, or is it a follow-up? "It's just not evenly distributed."

"How about you distribute some of those muscles, Gibson," Danny sighs, shaking his head "Waiting for puberty is such a drag, and we both know you didn't get the mass from Vlad's side of the family."

Dan makes a moue of disgust, but it serves him right. The consequences of his own actions, and whatnot. He looks up at Dani, who simply shrugs. "I think you'll do great." She leans down to give him two pats on the arm.

"So how's acting out A Christmas Carol gonna help us stop this Jason guy from blowing up?" Dani fiddles with Dan's hair, tongue poking out as she attempts a braid, "Will he even see us? Ghosts in this dimension taste funny."

"He'll be able to see us, it's magically rich enough for some ghosts to maintain a semblance of themselves," Danny explains for the third time. Dani and Dan hum at different pitches, and even though Danny is the common denominator he kind of hates that Vlad has more of a lasting impression on them. "The ectoplasm here is scarce and mostly corrupted, though, so it's rare."

"So there's lotsa bad ghosts here?" Dani eyes the messy braid she's made, proud, even as Dan's silky hair immediately causes it to fall apart, "Or 'mentally unsound' or whatever Frostbite called it."

"No," Dan grumbles, annoyed and indulging all at once, "Corruption begets ecto-rot, but the scarcity means they're not strong enough to actually retain their sense of self enough to rot."

"Shades," Danny explains when Dani looks even more confused, "There's lots of shades."

"Is this one of the Olympian dimensions?" Dani groans, flopping over Dan's shoulder as he sits down on the sofa, "I love Pandora and all, but if I see Zeus again I'm gonna lose it."

"It's one of the hero dimensions," Danny hums, taking over braiding Dan's hair the way Jazz made him when they were little, "There's a couple of Amazons walking about, but on the whole no Olympians."

"I don't know why he didn't just dump me in a Norse dimension." Dan leans back and closes his eyes to their ministrations. "Especially with my current occupation."

The three of them are sitting in Dan's apartment, a large loft studio located somewhere in the UK of the aforementioned hero-dimension. Alber-something, Danny can't remember. Doesn't need to, it being a different dimension from his anyway.

Dan doesn't have a lot of things: a sofa and TV, a bed in the corner, a decent but small kitchen. They're still trying to figure out decorations, but Dan on the whole is a minimalist so it's been slow going.

He's working as a bartender these nights, whiling away his odd existence now that his form has stabilized.

And wasn't that a trip? Learning that hey, adult lightning halfas shouldn't really be mixed with teenage ice halfas, actually!

Apparently, ectoplasm can become corrupted if you try to combine incompatible sources.

Apparently, side effects include (but are not limited to) unmitigated violence and a devastating need for vengeance.

Sound familiar?

"This dimension has a lot of time continuity errors," Danny reminds him, "Dropping you here gave the least amount of pushback."

"Yeah, yeah," Dan flaps a lazy hand, "Praise be the speedforce and flashpoints and whatnot."

"Plus," Dani adds softly, absent-minded as she watches Danny finish up the braid, "Lotsa heroes to help out if you relapse."

Dan heaves a slow, controlled sigh. Danny and Dani both pretend they don't notice.

"Is it bad?" Dan doesn't open his eyes, his voice is so low Danny can only hear him by virtue of his ghost powers, "Like me levels bad?"

"No." Danny shakes his head, leaning into his older self, his older brother of sorts, "He decapitated eight crime lords, killed a couple of assassins, maybe an innocent or two depending on your definition of things."

"Past tense?" Dan scrunches his nose. They all hate how confusing Time Shenanigans are.

"He's living as Red Hood, right this very moment."

"Red Hood?" Dani questions, "That his hero name?"

"Crime lord alias." Danny corrects her, "But he's more of a vigilante these days. Has a bat on his chest and everything."

"But it's bad enough to warrant a trip to the past." Dan points out, "Bad enough for us to try and persuade him. Does he relapse?"

"Not…exactly." Danny scrunches his face, not wanting to explain Clockwork's ambiguity.

Dani floats to spread over Danny and Dan's laps, sprawling out and purring like a cat. Self-soothing, though it's more for their benefit than hers.

"Like Dani said, there’re lots of heroes here, and he doesn't have powers." Danny continues, petting at Dani's soft hair, "The world doesn't end. He doesn't have the means to, even with the ecto-rot."

Danny pauses, and chooses his words deliberately and carefully. "And deep down, Jason Todd is a hero through and through. Relapse would be…difficult. His Obsession is similar to yours."

Dan lets that sit for a moment, but nods, Danny moving a little with the motion. The tension slowly bleeds out as they wait like that, enjoying each other's company.

"If the world doesn't end," Dani whispers, "Why is Clockwork sending all of us?"

Danny thinks on that, on his meeting with Clockwork. The Ancient's voice when he explained what would happen.

He thinks about Jason Todd, about Bruce Wayne, and Catherine, and Sheila. He thinks about Batman, and Robin.

He thinks about Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, about Damian Al Ghul, about Cassandra Cain, and all of Jason's Outlaws.

He thinks about a tattered uniform that stays up in a glass case for a long, long time.

Most of all, he thinks about Dan.

He thinks about regrets and one bad day away.

And then he stops thinking about it, because sometimes the past is the past, and other times, it's the future that never happens that haunts you instead.

"You know, Dani." He settles on, "I'm not sure. He probably has his reasons."

Dan leans heavier onto him, and they lean together like that, with Dani in their laps.

Ghosts of decisions made, unmade, and never to be.

Follow the story on AO3 here!

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Kanako design!!!! I haven't given her enough appreciation. That's mooostly because she doesn't really have a character but. I digress. I'm building one in my mind

If you want to hear my thoughts on her amalgamate form, you can take a look below!

I think about the whole amalgamation thing a lot. How I think it tears them apart, shredding through the magic that makes them and tearing it down to its bare essentials and that's why the amalgamates become white. White is the basic color of magic methinks. Kanako was different from the other amalgamates due to the fact she had the essence of a human soul in her so she would have been spared from the process of merging with other monsters, however she never got to that point anyway because, since she's a kid, Alphys separated her asap after noticing what was going on. Now after the lab, she's definitely a lot less healthy than when she went in obviously. She's much more thin, malleable. Kinda squishy. Her shapes have been changed due to gooping around back in the lab so her shapes kinda look more "basic". Walking has become much more difficult for her so I like to think she has a little cane. She puts stickers on it

She of course resembled more of the spoon-looking sprite but after getting out of the lab, over time she was able to stabilize her form a bit more.

[16novvs]

in this together ˖ᡣ𐭩 ⊹

arcane season 2 spoilers!

councilor!sevika had a particularly rough day and her assistant (you!fem) not only stands up for her, comforts her, but also encourages sevika that everything is going to be alright. angst with comfort!!!! AND FLUFF???i honestly made this to cope with how the arcane ending fucked sevika over.. my beautiful wife T_T hope you enjoy!!

1.5k words

You had been there during Silco’s reign, working alongside Sevika, managing the details and data that went unnoticed by others. After the fighting ended, you followed Sevika into a new chapter as her assistant, trading the chaos of war and survival for the stream of governance.

The council chamber was as cold and unwelcoming as ever, the polished surface of the circular table reflecting the sharp, impassive faces of Piltover’s councilors. Sevika sat stiffly, her broad frame filling the chair that felt more like an insult than a seat of respect.

You sat at Sevika’s side, trying to take notes and keep track of the conversation as best you could, though your attention was split between the meeting and Sevika herself. You could see she was trying to shrink into herself. To others, she may have looked stoic, but this was your Sevika. You could tell she wasn’t comfortable at all. To make matters worse, Sevika had left her mechanical arm at home. Weapons weren’t allowed in the council chamber bullshit, and that left her feeling annoyingly vulnerable. Next meeting, you will encourage her to wear it regardless of what they think.

Today’s meeting was completely and utterly nonsensical. The past few weeks, the council members had been running in circles, with the main focus being on making Piltover and Zaun into a true partnership between the two cities. Sevika didn’t care about that, and neither did you. What you wanted were resources: systems in place to get kids a proper education, to get the homeless off the streets, to provide proper jobs and healthy diets. You both wanted Zaun to become a place one could live in, not fight to survive.

Sevika’s patience had worn thin hours ago, but she stayed, gritting her teeth as Piltover’s officials changed the topic every time her concerns for Zaun came up. They cloaked their disregard for her in polished semantics and false promises, but Sevika saw right through them.

You, on the other hand, were practically fuming. You’d stopped writing a while ago and didn’t care to hide the contempt on your face anymore. You’d think the world nearly ending would be enough to make people change their ways, but I guess not. Before you could continue your inner monologue, your thoughts were rudely interrupted by some pompous ass sitting next to Sevika.

“You know, Sevika,” he said, leaning in close and taking advantage of the bustle in the council room, “I admire your… confidence to sit here today. It’s rare to see someone rise so far above their means. It’s almost inspirational, really.”

Sevika didn’t respond, her eyes narrowing at she processed the veiled jab. You, however, understood it right away and couldn’t hold back. Your hand slammed the table between the two of them, a sharp noise ringing through the room.

“With all due respect,” you leaned in, your voice calm but sharp, “if Councilor Sevika hadn’t come to rescue this craven city, half of you would either be slaughtered or under the Herald’s control. If you truly admire her, maybe you should show it by addressing the issues at hand instead of throwing thinly veiled insults.”

The Piltover councilor blinked, clearly not expecting a response from you, let alone one with such bite. Across the table, a few of the other assistants exchanged glances, some looking shocked, others impressed. Sevika’s head turned slightly toward you, her eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. You could see the tension in her shoulders ease just a little, the corner of her mouth twitching in what could almost be a smile.

“Well,” Shoola, another councilwoman, said, clearing her throat, “Perhaps we should move on.”

The rest of the meeting passed in a blur of tense exchanges and unresolved issues, but Sevika held her head high, bolstered, you hoped, by your words. When the meeting finally adjourned, Sevika rose without a word, nodding to Shoola. You followed her out, the quiet tension between you growing heavier on the way home.

The apartment was dimly lit, the faint glow of sunlight filtering through the blinds. The heavy clunk of Sevika’s boots echoed against the floor as she stepped inside, her mechanical arm sitting limply on the coffee table. She didn’t say a word as she sank onto the couch, her head falling into her hand. You set your bag down by the door and crossed the room, kneeling in front of her. The council meeting had drained her; you could see it in the way her broad shoulders slumped and the faint tremble in her arm.

“Sevika,” you said softly, resting a hand on her knee. “Look at me.”

When she did, the sight broke your heart. She looked tired, worn down, like she was carrying the weight of Zaun on her shoulders—and she was. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Sevika refused to cry even when she found out Jinx was gone, and now the floodgates had opened. Your poor girl.

“Oh, come here, baby.” You planted yourself beside her, allowing her to sink into your embrace. And for the first time in a long time, Sevika finally let go. She cried for Jinx, for Isha, for Silco, and for Zaun. She cried because her strength, the one thing she’d use to make change, was useless here. She cried for the Zaunites who’d lost their lives fighting alongside her, and she cried because she was afraid it would have all been in vain.

You leaned back, cradling her head against your chest as she sobbed. With gentle hands, you traced soothing circles on her back, your soft reassurances and sweet murmurs helping to steady her breathing. The weight of her pain slowly eased as you held her. You stayed like that for a while, the sound of her muffled sniffling and quiet whimpers eventually fading into the stillness. When she was ready, Sevika sat up, brushing away the lingering traces of tears on her cheeks. You could see in her eyes that she felt lighter.

“Back in the council chamber,” she said finally, her voice low and gruff. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did,” you replied immediately, meeting her gaze. “They don’t get to talk to you like that. Not while I’m here.”

For a moment, she just stared at you, softness in her eyes. Then, to your surprise, she let out a short, dry laugh. “You’ve got guts,” she said, shaking her head. “That goddamn room is so stuffy.

You laughed. “It is, isn’t it?” you said trying to draw her out of the dark cloud that seemed to hang over her.

She didn’t respond right away, but she did slip her hand into yours, intertwining your fingers and caressing the back of your hand with her thumb.

You broke the silence gently, your voice steady and warm. “Sevika, you’re doing everything you can. I know it doesn’t always feel like it’s enough, but it is. Zaun has someone in their corner who truly cares—someone who fights for them every single day. That’s more than most people in that council can say.”

Sevika’s gaze dropped to your intertwined hands, her thumb brushing soft, absent patterns across your skin. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she admitted in a whisper. “Silco, Vander—they always had a plan. Me? I’m just... figuring it out as I go.”

“And that’s okay, this is all new to you— to us,” you said firmly. “Silco and Vander weren’t perfect, Sev. They made mistakes—lots of them. You’re allowed to stumble or feel lost. What matters is that you care, and you’re still here, fighting. That’s exactly what Zaun needs.”

She let out a bitter laugh, her lips twisting into a faint, humorless smile. “What’s the point of trying when they won’t listen? When they look at me like I don’t even belong there?”

“Then you make them listen,” you said, squeezing her hand. “You’ve fought for Zaun every step of the way, and you haven’t stopped. They might not see it, Sev, but I do. I see everything you’re putting into this, even when it feels like you’ve got nothing left to give.”

Her hand shifted slightly, her fingers brushing against yours as she slowly lifted her head. When her eyes met yours, the vulnerability there made your chest tighten. Still, you could see the faint spark of resolve returning.

“You always know how to say the right thing, don’t you, doll?” she murmured, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Just telling the truth,” you replied, your own smile soft but steady.

“Come here.”

This time, you let her pull you into her arms, the familiar weight of you on top of her chest allowing her to relax. Her strong arm wrapped around your waist, the warmth blossoming against your waist and back.

“Thank you,” she said softly, nuzzling into your neck.

“Always,” you whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to her jaw. “We’re in this together, I promise.”

For the first time in a while, she let herself believe things would be alright. Wrapped in your warmth, the weight of the world seemed to ease, just a little, as she sank into you and allowed herself to breathe.

so this was supposed to be straight up fluff but i couldn’t help myself w/ the angst!! i apologize if this felt rushed + i barely proof. i hope you enjoyed reading nonetheless and i’d love to read your comments on this if you have any <3

[inhuman-obey-me]

The End Times

Well, here we are. The final lessons have been released, all in a flurry. It's been interesting times, y'all.

JK, they said the world of OM will continue, and we're not going away either. We still love our demonic dumbasses. This is, however, the last lesson of the apps. And, uh, we didn't talk about the last 3 before this either, considering the flurry.

So, maybe for one last time: let's get into it.

(spoilers up to NB Lesson 60)

Nightbringer

The first thing to address here, perhaps, is truly: for splitting off a whole ass second app titled Nightbringer, they really didn't tell us anything about him in the end, huh!

We never did get the answers to what he wanted out of our second set of pacts, what his deal with Solomon was, what his overall goals are, or who he even is. He just showed up, we got some early info on him, and then he basically fucked off for the majority of season 2 and basically all of season 3. At least they did end on a nice little message from him, though, echoing the start of the game...

So will we eventually get the answer to ANY of those major questions? The world may never know...

A Celestial Shitshow

What we do get, first, is the resolution of the whole Raphael arc of this season -- at least, the closest they could come to giving us a resolution.

We do not get a precise answer to what he felt or thought in the moment of Michael refusing to even try to appeal to Father on Simeon's behalf, which he was seemingly so unable to confront at the end of 55. However, after the collapse of Babel, Lucifer and Simeon go to talk to him again, more calmly this time.

The source of Raphael's distress comes down to loneliness. Like Simeon, he remarks how quiet it became in the Celestial Realm when the brothers, apparently the only loudmouth troublemakers that ever existed there, fell after the war. With the possibility of Simeon also becoming a demon, Raphael felt incredibly lonely at the thought of losing another former seraph and friend from the Celestial Realm.

Luke comes up to chime in about being there for Raphael, and Simeon realizes he doesn't want to just leave those "two kids" alone to fend for themselves. With that decided, he concludes that he is not so fine with becoming a demon after all, because he wants to return to the Celestial Realm for their sakes.

MC, with the help of Lucifer's power, then breaks through Babel's projection of collapse, which had reflected Raphael's distraught feelings, to restore it to its actual not-destroyed state, and further uses their new protection powers to return everyone to the Devildom. More on that later!

Also, Michael is a dick again. Raphael is set to be punished for the whole Babel thing, and Michael basically plans to let that happen, until Simeon threatens to "hold it against him" as a grudge. Which is hilarious, because Simeon has no real power or anything against Michael at this point, but angy Simeon is so scary, Michael apparently backs off.

Anyway, setting all the all of that aside, there's also still more SF to get through.

Three Worlds-building Science

In the process of restoring Babel, MC and Lucifer conveniently also remove all the demonic powers/energy from Simeon, so that works out nicely! He's no longer "demonic." However, of course, this couldn't just be such a nice simple wrap-up as that, so next, we get a whole bunch of lore-contradictory worldbuilding around the way cells work for each type of being!

It turns out, while angels and demons both have homogenous cells which are purely one or the other, human cells can actually transform into either one, in the right conditions. And although all demonic energy has been cleared out of Simeon, he apparently still has some of those transformed demonic cells, and it's possible he will have his demonic cells activate or start to transform again in the future. Plus, even with his decision that he wanted to return to the Celestial Realm after all, it's not really in anyone's control out of the cast to do that for him, and the Celestial Realm would not allow him back if he has any demonic cells.

This brings up some pretty terrible implications about the Celestial Realm, which we're not sure were the devs' intentions exactly, but which become implied nonetheless. After all, Simeon's punishment was to become a human, but if it's a known fact that humans can turn demonic and they would refuse to take him back with any demonic cells, even dormant ones, that's just a really shitty trap of a situation! Plus, they were able to convert his cells from angelic ones to human ones, so if they have the ability to change him at a cellular level, why can't they just purge the demonic cells from him in the process of changing him back to an angel? Lucifer has specifically noted before on his transformation to a demon that he supposed that was his punishment, so that also seems to have been a punishment inflicted by God, implying the ability to also manipulate the brothers at a cellular level into demons! And if human cells can become angel ones as well, what does that mean for Simeon's punishment of becoming human? Could the punishment be undercut by his cells naturally turning back to angel cells? Come on, devs, it's called consistency!!

But hey, it's not like this series has been particularly consistent on its lore in the past either...

Anyway, the Science Fair is still going on -- and Leviathan has a mad scientist moment, coming across a unique potion that could help with restoring Simeon back to a more fully human state, ridding his body of any dormant demonic cells! The problem is it requires three very rare and hard to procure ingredients, but it turns out Solomon had also thought about this potion a while back, so he conveniently already has two of the three rare ingredients! Part of the reason Solomon never brought it up before, however, is that the potion only has a 60% success rate and is known to have some pretty bad side effects including the briefest mention of possibly even death???, and with how complicated Simeon's feelings had been up to this point, it didn't feel like there had been a good time to bring all that up.

Deciding that Simeon can decide for himself if he wants to take the risk after the potion is ready, we have a little adventure to obtain the third ingredient that places us back in the Starfall, which we visited during our time in the past. We momentarily have to avoid the subject of the past as Leviathan recalls that you were there, but is brushed off as misremembering because that wouldn't make sense, after all! Haha...ha...

Leviathan makes the potion for the Science Fair, and then Lucifer and MC keep Simeon company while he takes it. Simeon begins to succumb to the potion's effects pretty quickly, but Lucifer steps in to try and take the pain from Simeon and transfer it to him -- with MC then also stepping in to help share it. Simeon ends up not suffering as much, but is still knocked out with a fever for a bit.

Upon waking from his fever and analysis of his cells and some other genetic science, Simeon has now returned to his fully human state, meaning that he should be able to get back to the Celestial Realm! -- if they'll have him.

The end of the game seems to initially imply that he might be reinstated as an angel -- but the very last text we see is that Simeon will be opening up the Angel's Halo again in the human world. So is Simeon still a human? Did he become an angel again but they have him stationed in the human world?? No clear answer!!! Why would they ever end the final lesson on giving us any clear conclusions? Nope, never, and so here we are with no more lessons and yet another big fuckin' cliffhanger.

Well, they did say there are new projects in progress, at least...

Anyway, Later is Now

So, back to MC and how overpowered we've become.

Through this last season, there has been a focus on how much stronger MC has become, especially when it comes to their protective/defensive magic. We know it's because of the double-pacts, but that is a secret from most of the cast to avoid space-time fuckery.

In Babel, MC is able to control this magic for the first time. As mentioned above, we use our pact with Lucifer to break out of the illusion created by Raphael's breakdown, which also clears Simeon of his demonic energy. MC then uses their power, with some guidance by Solomon, to get out of Babel and return everyone to the Devildom.

That's a great sign, as otherwise MC has had zero control over this power activating. Of course, that means we have to use it one last time as the game comes to an end -- but this time, on the moon.

That's right. The Devildom moon is really into MC and is on a crash course to the Devildom (hi Majora's Mask) to also get some of that sweet, sweet MC power. Our cast gets thrust into having to deal with the situation as the final Science Fair competition, because the Research Institute is basically giving them the responsibility (with the House of Lords being ridiculous and not getting the news to Diavolo faster because, um, they suck).

Satan wonders if MC's protection power can be used here and stop the moon on its crash course, so of course that is what we are going to do. Solomon leads you up into the sky, and after a pep talk, leaves you to choose one of the brothers to help carry out this mission. Whichever brother you choose ends up getting knocked out in the process, to protect you. After a few days, we find out how to wake them back up and yay, they're conscious again!

With that handled, it's time for the classic OM tradition, throwing a goodbye party for the exchange students!! PARTY TIME! Everything's good now! Hurray!!!

Does this all seem rushed? Sure. Does it reek of them hurrying to tie up loose ends because this is the last lesson? Yup. How much of this was actually planned in this messy rushed way from the start anyway? Who knows! Did they also leave us on that big Simeon cliffhanger anyway, for funsies? Abso-fucking-lutely.

But that's it for the last 4 lessons! After 5 years, finally, MC has completed all of their tasks...congrats to us!!! 🥹

Now to wait for whatever new projects are coming next...

[himluv]

I'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings about Lucanis's quest line. This all started when I was talking myself through what I consider critiques of the game - things I didn't like (which is a whole other post tbd). And I sort of stumbled into how I felt in the initial moment when I realized Illario really had betrayed Lucanis.

My immediate reaction was... Disappointment. And I thought I was disappointed because it felt too easy and out of character, but as I talked myself through it (verbal processing ftw) I think I stumbled onto the truth of the matter. Or at least, it feels true to me.

I read The Wigmaker Job and The Wake multiple times before VG released. Lucanis was my #1 hope for a companion before they were announced. I know and love these idiot Dellamortes.

So when the game took every opportunity to tell me Illario betrayed Lucanis, I didn't believe it. It was TOO obvious, too heavy-handed. And Illario loves his cousin, so surely there must be a twist.

I kept waiting, kept denying, until Bloodbath when it became pretty fucking clear that Illario was, if not directly responsible, definitely involved in Lucanis's imprisonment in the Ossuary. The betrayal was real. And I screamed at my TV and threw a pillow and had to take a break.

Now, here's why I think this is actually an example of brilliant writing:

The game told me over and over and over again that Illario betrayed Lucanis. And, because I did my homework and read the tie-in media, I liked Illario too much to believe it was him. Because I am trained by a lifetime of consuming narratives to believe that the obvious culprit is NEVER the actual culprit, I denied the reality the game kept presenting.

I said, "nope. No way. Not Illario."

Just.

Like.

Lucanis.

The game manipulated me into a similar (if not identical) viewpoint as Lucanis, until we were both forced to accept and face the truth. The terrible thing is not only possible, it's true. It happened. And no amount of lying to yourself will change that.

Which is also the entire theme about Spite. About acknowledging the trauma you've experienced and then finding a way to live with and through it. You can't keep hiding from it. It won't go away.

Lucanis's whole story is: the terrible thing happened. You can't undo it, can't unsee it. If you do nothing, then you will never be free of it. So, what do you do now?

And that's what Illario's betrayal is - an external version of the inner struggle Lucanis is battling.

Basically, once I realized how beautifully the writing maneuvered me through this narrative, I stopped thinking about any potential "bad" writing. This game is brilliant and I will not be taking questions at this time.