#i tryna do something w those lighting(it did not work)

[pooptrongnee]

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ ELIO 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

[supersecretmetalocalypseblog]

Magnus (and some other people I'm sure) Screenshots

I only have like one on my phone. Imagine my surprise when I was tryna pull up reference photos and only found the one.

look at them lol. so baby. Anyways, I always thought it funny that Magnus is shown in season 3, and never even gets mentioned again until half way through season 4.

i told myself I would stop taking charles screenshots.....

skwis is always winning the idgaf war.... look at him, he could not be bothered rn.

???????? i told myself I was going to take MAGNUS screenshots, stop getting distracted......

lol pickles.

ODFISAJFIOASNFOS everyone's looking away lol "uh, yeah, uh, anyways.... r u mad at us???"

girl so mad she makes her own dramatic lighting.

Also, idk if it's just cause he's pissed off in this scene, but magnus looks older than he did in his first appearance. Like, in Dethcamp, when we flashback, magnus still looks older. He's got the wrinkles on his forehead, and under his eyes. But in his first appearance, he didn't have those.

Magnus, S3E1 RenovationKlok. Magnus, S4E7 Dethcamp

Just thought that was interesting. It's not like they didn't have a model w/o the wrinkles, because they used that one first. Maybe the decided he'd just look better with them or something, idk, but it's a (small) continuity thing lol.

I get he was mad and shit, but girl, I would not pick a fight w/ NATHAN of all people lol. Like I think i could take maybe Murderface in a fight, maybe, but holy shit dude NATHAN????? Especially when he's younger, like he used to work out and shit.

like I'd be mad too if i got my ass handed to me that bad lol.

It's like a fun slasher movie, but that guy won't be the bad guy until they do "Scary Camp Rock 3: The evil camp counselor" anyways I made the magnus jumpscare a gif cuz i thought it was funny enough to warrant one.

Pickles's? Pickles'? face here is kinda funny, like it's not a face i ever remember him doing ever again. Is he smiling? Or is he annoyed? I mean the band isn't really on good terms w/ Magnus, save for Toki obv. So like... idk idk...

my commentary is so fucking stupid i don't even wanna post it sometimes.

[blueiight]

i think one of the reasons people aren’t super interested in exploring the implications of louis being a pimp is because the show isn’t. not to pull a “as a former (brothel based) swer” card for a tv show about edwardian vampires but iwtv has a lot of very interesting thoughtful things to say about many many things and sex work is not one of them. real lazy trope-y red light district funny-madame (bricktop) and disposable girl with a heart of gold (lily) historical fiction red light district wenches with a lick of liberal choice ‘empowerment and business!’ because that’s what the well meaning lib zeitgeist is on SW currently and none of the implications or dynamics of exploitation are explored beyond louis’ confessional in ep1. louis “increasing the girl’s cut” ! ridiculous. love the show but don’t think this is something it’s thought about in any depth and viewers are matching that tone

i feel like im answering the same asks on this issue cuz somebody def did say dis 2 me b4 n i did reply i agree w/ u n ill elaborate bc u r a real person w these experiences. what u have to say is most important here n i respect u for even behind anon in telling me how that was sum u lived thru. id like u to recall what we have seen in the flashbacks for that particular section of the show is so far primarily told thru louis’s pov. a character who possibly had to lie to himself n reduce lily to just a disposable martyr w a heart of gold + brick as just the funny tropey madame to rationalize what he was actually doing here. n even then it couldnt stop him from spiraling off into a drunk confession to the paster about how he takes girls from homes + lies to them saying he’ll do them good but exploits them so. louis himself, even drunk n half out his mind in the 1910s, is willing to account this as one of his vices, his evils, so i dont think the show wants the viewers to give him a pass. its only rly a matter of concern in those first 3 eps bc after that, louis loses all his enterprises. the modern day situation in dubai w/ the blood farm + daniel’s crude comment in 1x07 about louis still being the pimp paying hoes to talk to him does suggest to me at least the showrunners r not falling in line w this line of thinking in telling louis’s story the way u think they do. my main thing w the pimp shit is moreso ‘why r ppl bitching at the show for tryna make louis a good guy when hes literally introduced to us as a pimp? why is that a line of criticism. do real ppl see nothing wrong w pimping?’ . i dont think the show needs to be like rgu black rose pointing symbols ‘this is bad!’ every second for viewers to understand that louis ‘increasing the girls a cut’ isnt bc hes mother mary oss. theyre expecting viewers to come in w/ a certain level of maturity + understanding of the real world to watch these batshit fictional characters. i hope im not sounding like im running apologetics for showrunners here

[thot-writes]

reader doms virgin katsuki who always flirts with reader. but she finds out katsuki is all bark no bite <3

yes!! bakugo HIGHKEY needs to get put in his place hes such a brat its ridiculous

i wonder if someday i'll be able to write porn without needing 500000043 words of backstory leading up to it.... one can only dream

also i 100% did not intend for this to get so long i was just having too much fun

katsuki gets what's comin to him (18+ NSFW);

(CW, underaged drinking)

Someone with an attitude like Katsuki's is hard to get along with, let alone be able to read his true intentions. You only just recently met the 19-year-old when you worked together to save a group of civilians from being terrorised by a drugged-up villain.

And for the last two months since then, he just cannot stop flirting with you.

You found yourselves working together semi-regularly since that first instance, and almost every time Katsuki has found some way to give you a backhanded flirtatious comment.

"You got that guy, huh? Guess you're not all just good looks."

"Stay back and let me handle this, idiot, you wouldn't want 'em to damage that face of yours."

"Can it, supermodel."

"It's way too dark in here. Guess ya can't distract me with your face, though."

"That hero costume is ridiculous, are you just tryna seduce the villains?"

Frankly, it was annoying. You were several years older than him and could kick his ass hard enough to send him crying back to his mother, yet he always seemed to act as if that wasn't the case. He showed you no respect and his attempts at flirting were absolutely abysmal - you'd never met anyone quite so infuriating.

And you're working with him again tonight.

You both responded to a call of suspicious behaviour that had civilians concerned of a potential villain attack. It was bullshit, though, just a couple of delinquent teenagers wearing hoodies.

Katsuki stands behind you with his arms folded over his chest, his face twisted in the all-too-familiar scowl he always seemed to have. It's clear that he's just as annoyed about this as you are.

"So you grabbed the drinks, and then what?" you asked, irritation tingeing your words at the ridiculousness of the situation.

The teens looked tough, but their personalities showed they were anything but. As soon as you told them about the calls, they broke down in tears and insisted they were doing nothing wrong. "W-we paid for them but we didn't have enough s-so we said 'ah, damn it!' and put the drinks back - that's all w-we did, I swear!"

You believed them. Phony calls like this were all too common. Sometimes people were just way too jumpy, and it made taking care of real problems more of an issue than it needed to be. "Alright. That's okay. You can go now boys, sorry for the inconvenience."

They nodded, and the scrawnier one of the two spoke up. "H-how do we avoid this happening again? We've n-never done anything illegal..."

You shrugged. "I dunno. Get plastic surgery," you mused light-heartedly.

"Yes, ma'am!" they answered as they rushed off, too fast for you to tell them you were only joking.

"Geez," Katsuki grunted. "What a waste of time. There could be a real crime takin' place and these idiot civilians just called us out for nothin'."

You hummed in agreement. "It never gets less annoying, I'll tell you that."

He smirked. "Those kids seemed eager to listen to you though. Maybe seduction is just your quirk huh?"

There it is. He knows full well that seduction is not your quirk, but arguing has never dissuaded him - if anything, it empowered him. You turn to look at him and decide to be direct, "Listen, Bakugo, it's clear that you want something to happen between us. We've got time, my apartment is only a few minutes from here, what are we gonna do about it?"

For the first time since you've met him, he looks genuinely shocked. His face flushes, and you can see the tips of his ears turning pink. "Eh? What are you saying? T-that's way too bold..."

You take a step closer, and he inches back. "You're not the first person I've worked with that wanted to mess around, don't get all shy now. My place is close, so let's go."'

He stares at you in stunned silence, and you just barely hold back from smirking. His throat has turned impossibly dry, and he swallows hard to try and regain his crumbled composure.

You speak before he does, "Don't tell me you can't handle it."

His eyebrows twitch in annoyance - his pride demands he never back down from a challenge. "Of course I can handle it!" he bites back, cheeks still burning. "Let's go! Hurry up!"

He storms down the sidewalk to try and lead you to your apartment, which is hilarious since he doesn't know where it is. You point a finger in the opposite direction. "It's down that way."

He turns on his feet and stomps over. "I knew that...!" he grumbles as he passes you. You snicker as you follow him.

Once you enter, you tell Katsuki to take a seat on the couch, which he reluctantly does. You go over to the fridge and grab a couple of beers out. "I know you're technically not allowed to drink this, but you're close enough to twenty, right? I won't tell anyone."

It's right. Legally, he's still not allowed to drink alcohol for another eight months, and he hasn't ever tried. But he wants to impress you, so he folds his arms and says, "Whatever. I drink all the time." A blatant lie.

You take a seat next to him and hand him a can. He eagerly chugs it, ignoring the urge to spit it out - this is alcohol? It's disgusting! How can you stomach it?

You eye him curiously, a smile creeping up on your face as he downs the beer. You can tell he's struggling, but he finishes the whole can in one go anyway. "You're not supposed to drink it that fast, you know."

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and scowls. "Of course I know that! I was just thirsty, that's all." Biting back a comment about its abhorrent taste, he adds, "Get me another one."

"Really?"

"Yes, really! Go get it!"

You roll your eyes but say nothing and grab him a second can from the fridge. He then asks for a third, which you get, but when he asks for a fourth you tell him no. You've barely made it halfway through your first one - someone needs to tell this kid to stop trying so hard.

"You've had more than enough," you say.

"Ha! I've had way more than this, y'know. That stuff was weak." He crosses his arms and averts his gaze. His speech is slightly slurred and his cheeks are a dark pink; he's definitely drunk. Or at least tipsy.

You smile as you toy with the tab on the can. "You're actually pretty cute, Bakugo. You act like you don't care about anyone's opinion, but you try really hard to impress them."

He turns to glare at you. “Are you stupid? Where’d you get a dumb idea like that from?”

You set the can down on the table and shuffle closer to him. He instinctively goes to move away, but you catch his chin between your fingers before he can. “Am I wrong?”

“O-of course you’re wrong!” His eyes dart to your mouth, and he can’t find it in himself to look away. He swallows thickly.

The hand on his chin trails along the bottom of his jaw then rests on his cheek. He lets out an almost inaudible squeak as you do this, and you can’t help but grin. “I think you’re more than just a rude jerk. I think secretly you’re sweet... and I think you really want me to fuck you.”

“I don’t...” he weakly defends.

You inch closer to him, so close that your lips are a mere hair’s breadth away from touching. Katsuki can feel himself growing hard, but he refuses to pay attention to it.

Your thumb strokes the soft, warm skin of his cheek as you gaze into his eyes. “Huh. So then I guess you won’t react if I do this.” You close the distance between you and press your lips against his, immediately earning a quiet moan out of him as he squeezes his eyes shut.

Your tongue enters his mouth and he almost pulls away, but your other hand is on the back of his head and holds him in place. He licks your tongue, almost timidly, and tries to match your pace — but this is his first kiss and his skills are limited. In fact, it becomes painfully obvious to you that he’s had no experience, but he’s cute so you can’t say that you mind.

Katsuki’s head is swimming when you finally pull away, a string of saliva connecting you together still. His defined chest heaves as he takes in uneven breaths. “That was... alright, I guess.”

You eye him incredulously. “Says the virgin.”

He almost jumps up from his seat. “Virgin?! Who’re you callin’ a virgin?!”

You poke him in the chest. “You. I can tell a virgin when I kiss one.”

He grits his teeth. “Fine! You’re right, who cares?! I’ve been too— too busy to do that kind of thing anyway...”

“I’m not judging you. It’s cute.”

He glares at you. “I’m a man, you know? We don’t want to be called cute.”

“Maybe stop being cute then.”

“You—you’re so annoying! You better shut up or I’ll make you so— agh!”

Before he can finish his sentence you’ve pinned him down on the couch. He stares up at you as you kneel above him, sliding one of your legs between his and pressing deliciously against his crotch.

You chuckle. “You’ll what? I didn’t catch that.”

“Shut up...” He looks away.

You rest a hand at his crotch and his hips twitch at the contact. You smirk at him as you massage his cock through his pants and he bites his cheek to keep from moaning.

His body feels impossibly hot, be it from the alcohol or the arousal he can’t tell, and he squirms against your touch.

You’re both still in your hero gear (minus the shoes of course, you’re not animals), and you work on getting him out of it. You take off his gauntlets and let them drop to the floor, then his collar and knee-guards.

As you’re still palming him, you lift his shirt up high enough to expose his toned abs and impossibly pink, cute nipples. Before he can protest what you’re doing, you duck your head down and take one of the pink buds in your mouth. He lets out a gasp as your tongue circles it, teeth grazing the skin of his chest as you do.

“Mmph... cut that out, it’s embarrassing— I’m not... a girl—ah!” He jolts up into you as you gently bite his nipple.

You pull away from him and he almost whines as you do. You quickly take his belt off and unzip his pants, tugging them off of him and letting them join the growing heap of garments on the floor. His dick struggles against his boxers, a small wet patch forming where the tip is. Looking down at him you think about just how pretty he is. You take a moment to watch him before you hook your fingers into the band of his underwear and tug them down, springing his reddened, hard cock free.

Katsuki’s lips are slightly parted as he watches you intently when you throw his boxers to the side. He goes to sit up, but you put your hands on the underside of his strong thighs and push his legs up. He yells out in surprise as his thighs are pressed up against his torso, giving you a clear view of his pink asshole.

“Oi! What the hell are you doing?! What kind of position is this?!”

You bend down, gazing at him as you stick your tongue out and give a long, languid lick to his hole. He struggles against you, trying to push you away, but you only double down in your efforts. Your hot wet tongue traces circles around him, and he lets out a shaky whimper at the feeling.

You lick and suck at his hole, sneaking a finger in and earning moan from Katsuki. “Fuck! T-that feels good...”

You chuckle in response, the vibrations sending a pleasurable feeling throughout his body. You slip a second finger in and take your mouth away as you thrust your digits in and out of him. He whines and reaches a hand down to touch his aching cock, slick with his own precum.

You smirk at him. “I don’t saying you could do that— but this is your first time, so I’ll forgive you.”

“Nnngh... You’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing that...” he moans. It seems to you that he’s abandoned all inhibition and has become lost in the pleasure.

His reaction is only urging you on, and your fingers speed up as they fuck him harder. He tilts his head back into the cushions of the sofa and cries out. The slick, wet sounds of your fingers going in and out fill the room — it should embarrass him, but it just makes him hotter.

His cries become ragged as he moves his hips in time with your fingers, his grip on his flushed cock tightening as he gets closer to the edge. “Please... please... fuck, please..!”

You put your fingers in as far as they’ll go, making a come hither gesture as you stimulate his prostate. His entire body trembles as he desperately bucks up into his own hand. Ropes of hot, sticky cum shoot out from his cock and all over his chest and face. His eyes roll back and he groans, his motions slowly stopping as he comes down from his high.

You withdraw your hand from him and fish around in your coat for your phone. You snap a picture of him lost in pure bliss, and he opens his mouth to complain then gives up before he even gets a word out.

You stand up and start stripping, and his attention turns to you. He bites his lip as he eyes the contours of your body, and you climb on top of him. “I made you feel good, now you’ve gotta pay me back.”

He blinks up at you. “How?”

You position yourself over his face, bracing yourself on the arm of the sofa. “Eat it.”

He gulps, but nods. You put your pussy on his lips and he eagerly sticks his tongue out to lick you up. His puts his hands on your thighs and pulls you further in as he laps up the wetness dripping from you. Your eyes drift shut as he eats you out, letting out soft sighs or praises from time to time.

You rock your hips back and forth on his face, and he moans into your cunt sending pleasant shivers up your body. You entangle a hand through his hair as he inserts his tongue into you— you note that for a virgin, he’s surprisingly good with his mouth.

Katsuki starts to get hard again and he turns up the intensity, your juices dripping down his face and intermingling with his own cum. As you get closer to finishing, you move your hips faster and harder until you’re fucking his face. He can’t breathe, his lungs are starting to burn, but he’s too turned on to stop now. He squeezes your thighs with his hands and helps you thrust faster.

“Haaahh, you’re doing such a great job, Katsuki— just a little more...” You bite your lip hard, feeling your orgasm bubbling up in your core.

With a few more quick, decisive thrusts against his mouth you cum onto his face. Your whole body trembles and you lift yourself off of him. He takes in big gulps of air, grateful to be able to breathe again but disappointed he’s not tasting you anymore.

He licks his lips to savour the taste and sits up, his face a sticky, flushed mess of sweat and cum that drips down to his neck. You can’t resist snapping another picture and he half-heartedly glares at you.

“You better not be plannin’ on showing those to anyone...” he says lowly.

You wave a hand dismissively. “Of course not, who do you take me for?”

“A pervert.”

You pause. “...Well you’re not wrong, but that’s still not something I’d do.”

You leave the couch and disappear into your bedroom. He calls after you but you insist you have just one surprise left for him and to be a good boy and wait. He does.

You return a minute or so later, a strap-on fastened around your hips and the dildo glistening and dripping with copious amounts of lube.

Katsuki, still seated on the couch, looks at the dildo then back to you several times before he catches on to what’s going on. “You can’t seriously expect me to take that! What kind of perverted woman are you?!”

With a devious smile, you shrug. “The type that’s gonna give you a prostate orgasm.”

His lips tremble as you approach him, settling on your knees in front of him as he still sits on the couch. The strap-on lines up with his own dick, and you glance down to see he’s still as hard as when you left.

You pull him to you and plant a kiss on his ear. “Be a good boy and let mommy take care of you.”

It takes barely any convincing at all before you’re balls deep in his tight ass, joining him on the couch and holding his hips almost painfully as you drive into him. He cries and moans, tears forming in his eyes and his hands searching for desperate purchase on the cushions behind him.

You take out your phone and film it, zooming in on the silicone phallus thrusting in and out of him, his asshole clenches around it and his legs are locked behind you. He cusses and sobs, the lewd sounds of his pleasure and your skin smacking together is easily caught by the phone’s microphone.

“I can’t take it!” he weeps, his voice breaking and hiccuping. “I’m g-gonna cum again— f-fuck me harder! Please!”

You drop the phone beside you (camera side up, of course) and oblige, the tip of the dildo hitting his prostate again and again. His hands fly to your shoulders and he digs his nails into the skin as his whole body tenses.

Then, with a jerk, he cries your name and his body spasms. His orgasm is far more intense than the first one, travelling from his core to his upper body, spreading throughout his arms and his legs. It’s a feeling unlike any other, and it continues to crash over him like waves. Drool seeps out of his mouth and drips down his chin, his mind little more than a haze as his senses are completely overloaded.

You slowly pulled out of him and he winced at the loss, but he was too far gone to do anything about it. You picked up the phone once again and filmed him in his post-orgasm stupor. “So Katsuki, how would you rate the loss of your virginity?”

He blinks slowly as his feelings return to him. He looks past the camera, into your eyes and says:

“Let’s go again.”

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Fri 28 May ‘21

Zayn’s rap EP??? Dropped yesterday???!? “Breaking my silence” says Zayn on Yellow Metal- Cathartic (Zayn is Yellow Metal here) and he DOES in 24 minutes of political, personal, complex and lyrically dense rap zoems! It was leaked/dropped whatever you wanna call it by being posted to Z’s cousin’s account (like the cover the other day); but clearly Zayn is behind these drops and that’s what matters, he is releasing this stuff in a way that will get to the fans but not inspire the media uproar (or contract issues) that posting to his own accounts would. As he says “don’t say I can’t communicate, you know I conversate with you in several different ways”, plus “I’ve had enough of being my own enemy, come a long way since 17, I have a few things to say when I get up on a microphone, I didn’t give up on fame I need this time like therapy it’s just to keep me sane… and to be honest it’s offensive, offensive to my still open wounds, trying to ask me questions they know they don’t have I ever replied, I prefer to sit down be online and respond to fanart,” I LOVE THAT. And the political content?! “What a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees, it's never leaving to a real sense so FUCK THE FEDS” (or fuck the fence, not clear, either way, YES ZAYN!), “the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding by what they put in writing we should be used to it by now say whatever for the vote and then just chose another route say they’ll never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown” and “been facing the racists back when I was a kid...kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me and the kids that would call me paki still sit in the classroom chilling, and now that I’m older I see they treat us different, got me thinking I was the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues, 20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat, came to tell you what I stand for, man I think this shit’s a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat, ‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight, try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white, my name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” HELL YEAH ZAYN. PLUS: “never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl,” not gonna lie I LOVE to see this GOOD good good, "just became a dad so now I’m taking all the checks" HA yes get it, "trying to be a better person than the world deserves to see," and, “with a cigarette, sun coming up, write my thoughts on the internet, feeling deep, I'm just bored with the silhouette, get fucked up for the thrill of it,” “I’m just here for the rap then I’m leaving.” AND SO MUCH MORE all in Zayn’s excellent voice and accent, a GIFT that’ll take much more than a day to really unpack and appreciate!

And happy 28th, Louis is writing music! Looks like he is working with producer team Rick Parkhouse and George Tizzard in London (they call themselves Red Triangle Productions and put out music as SuperHi)- they posted a studio picture and tagged Louis. He’s just visible in the booth, singing. Also present- writer/ musician, Paul Whalley and songwriter Robert Harvey (The Music, The Streets) who were both posted and tagged Louis in as well. Louis followed Harvey. Hell yeah, what a line up! Not only that, Jamie Hartman answered a ProjectKMM participant’s question about other songs with Louis-- are they still working on new stuff? He says “I’m sure Louis has been working on new songs with lots of people!” [as we see, yes] “But yes we have done some too- who knows what will make the next album but he’s a top man and I would always write and hang w LT.”

Harry won Best Lyrics for Adore You at the iHeart Awards and Best Cover Song for Juice but failed to take the Artist of the Year or Song of the Year Categories, but more exciting than that- he’s listed as the Director of a new cosmetics and perfume company!!! People have been speculated about him doing something with Gucci Beauty for a long time now (he’s been noted to use their cosmetics, and definitely models their nail polish), and he has of course done perfume ads for them- there’s speculation that this could be for something with them, or it could just be a new thing of his very own. Well the Harry Styles palette would be a damn hit and we all know it, bring it on!

Anne Marie’s Big Weekend performance aired today and yes! She did Our Song with Niall! It’s the performance they recorded last week or so that we saw the pics from, yay first time getting to see them play it, but it was very quickly followed by the next time as their Jonathan Ross show performance also aired! And in case you’re sad about Niall’s previous promo buddies being replaced, there’s no need for that, he’s only adding to the pack; he tweeted Julia Michaels just today, “love ya hules” AWWW. He posted a bunch of cute OS video bts pics too, followed Oprah Winfrey and said he’d like to go to space and that he “would have liked to have been” a godfather to a 1D boy’s baby but “maybe the next one.”

Meanwhile Liam is looking at the fanart submissions he asked for- he retweeted a terrific drawing of himself laughing and said “this is amazing!” and liked a couple of other art posts. Feels like it’s about time for a monthly Liam catch up video, perhaps? Something else to look forward to!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘���� (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[hanii-rose]

hiii...ok so your headcanons are amazing and ily. could i request headcanons on garou with a s/o with thick thighs. i'm super insecure of my thighs because i don't have a thigh gap and it's super embarrassing

My headcanons are amazing? You love me? I-

Here you go baby( ˘ ³˘)♥

Also, no need to be embarrassed. I also don't have thigh gaps which really helps when I feel like crushing the heads of my enemies between my thighs...

We strong ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

And so is the sexual tension in dis fic lol

____________________________________

Garou With An S/O Who Has Thick Thighs

If you think having thick thighs in this relationship is a drawback then you are absolutely correct.

When I say it's a drawback, I don't mean it's ugly or unwanted, no no no.

I mean Garou will drive you mad for a chance to put his head on your lap, all day, everyday!

And when I say he wants to put his head on your lap, I mean he wants to bury his face in the soft, supple flesh of your thighs.

Just let him live there, c'mon!

You can bet your non-existant thigh gaps that he's kissing and biting you there, very harshly might I add.

He's always telling you, "Gah, it's so soft!" or "Fuck, I want this here!"

If you're just sitting on the couch and he's stealing meat from your fridge, he'll notice what you're wearing and if it's even slightly exposed above the knee, he's there. Like, HE. IS. THERE.

Meat long forgotten, your thighs are his new meal lol.

Let's say you're just coming out of the shower, towel wrapped securely around your gorgeous frame. He's pouncing on you, specifically getting handsy with your thighs and calves.

He likes natural looks so cellulite doesn't bother him. In fact, he's poking and caressing them fairly often.

If you're talking bad about yourself then he's slamming that shit down and showing you how much he loves you. Like really showing you...

If you wear something like thigh-highs, gurl- He'll be taking them off with his teeth, thank you.

★★★

You sit curled up on your window seat, the soft light of the sun shimmering in through the transparent glass of your window. Your hair fell daintily around your shoulders, arms resting on folded knees, novel in hand, dressed in nothing but a loose shirt and a pair of sheer white, lace-wrapped thigh high socks. Oh, the serenity that's surrounding you right now, indescribable.

Your boyfriend concentrated on doing push-ups outside in your backyard. You could see him from the corner of your eye behind you, pushing himself up and down, an extraordinary array of large rocks or maybe...boulders on his back....?

You tore your eyes away from the worn, coffee stained pages of your vintage fantasy novel, intrigued in the way he worked on himself. Taut muscles contracting and loosening, glistening beads of sweat slowly gliding down his bare, shaped biceps. Hair tussled and messier than usual, a few rebel strands falling onto his forehead from his otherwise proud-spiky style. His face, dark, focused and handsome... oh my

Whenever Garou worked out, he really worked out.

Nothing could distract him from his daily routine of exercising, flexing and unintentional teasing. He was hell bent on being fit and able. He used to be the infamous Hero Hunter ya'know! He has to be sharp and ready at all times.

Can't be caught off guard like that one time while delivering boxes. That dude had no chill, throwing darts at him like that...

You bit your lip in admiration of his movements, your thighs coming together, unable to contain your excitement for a touch from him. He noticed you shyly peeking from the other side of your bay window and he silently beckoned you over, tilting his head to gesture for you to come around.

You gave a little nod to his beckoning, placing your book neatly on the tall bookshelf next to you and dusting yourself off, readying yourself to see him.

When Garou had come to visit you this morning you had been wearing one of his trousers, knowing him, if he saw even a tiny section of your thighs, the man would go absolutely feral. But since he had went outside for a 3 hour work out earlier, you decided pants were too overrated for you and you easily discarded them, got comfortable and started reading.

Garou was very serious about his workouts. He would never stop, not for anything...

Except maybe you. And thats when you had a stroke of genius. He was teasing you all this time, flexing and sweating. Time for a little payback.

>>

You peeked around the doorframe that led to your backyard where Garou stayed, exercising.

"Well, aren't you working hard?"

You slyly spoke, smile coy.

Garou grunted in response and you sighed, slowly walking around to him, hips deliciously swaying, shirt hiked up above your thighs and socks visibly tight around your ample flesh.

You stood bold in front of his head as he pushed himself up. His eyes widening at your apparel. What are you doing?

You licked your lips teasingly, and lowered yourself down onto the grass, knees folded, sitting upright.

Garou stopped momentarily, craning his neck for a kiss and you gladly obliged, leaning in and leaving a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Finally took...my advice, huh...?"

He said in between breaths.

"Who... needs pants...right? Heh..."

He lowered down slowly and you copied, your head resting on your arms on the ground, fingers playing with the little blades of grass, butt in the air

"Mmm, it just feels so good outside."

He grunted, agreeing.

Your eyes trailed up to his face and you cast him an innocent smile.

You slowly raised yourself up in front of him, pushing up your hair and sitting straight, knees folded in a 'W' position.

"What...are you...tryna' do?'

He breathed out.

"Hm? Nothing, I just wanted to come outside and spend time with you..."

You responded in the sweetest tone.

Oh please. He knows what game you're playin'.

Comin' out in nothin' but a shirt and socks? Sweetie, ya' can't take him for a fool...

He ain't stoppin' for you.

"Funny... you've never been... into fitness that...much..."

He slowly spoke.

"Oh, well I just wanted to be closer to you. Is that such a crime?"

He snorted. You wanted to be closer to him? Why not just lay down under him and wrap your gorgeous legs around him then? Let him feel the plumpness.

"Don't you want to be with me too? Why don't you stop what you're doing and come here."

Your innocent voice matched with your sultry expression did a number on him. He bit his lip, trying to resist the temptation.

You outstretched your arms, fingers opening and closing, waiting for a hug.

"Nice try, I ain't stoppin' love."

You chuckled and got into position.

"Not even for this?"

You unfolded your knees, sitting so close in front of his face, that every time he'd go down for a push, his cheek or chin would brush against your thigh.

Tantalising,tempting...

You leaned back on your elbows, your hair now spilling onto the grassy mat under you.

Garou licked his lips, golden eyes flicking up to look into your innocently coy ones.

He lowered himself down once, his chin lightly coming into contact with the lace of your frilly socks.

Raising himself up, he looked at you with irritation, behind that expression lingered want.

Going back down again, your knee bent slightly inwards and gently touched his cheek. He took a whiff.

C I T R U S

Delicious.

Coming back up, he balanced his whole body weight on one arm, an impressive feat with all of those massive rocks on his back.

"𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕠����𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕘𝕤 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕖."

You slyly laughed, his statement so shamelessly flattering.

"Yes, I do know that, Garou..."

His movements stopped momentarily as his free hand softly caressed the exposed part of your thigh, between the hem of your shirt and the frills of your socks.

"𝕊𝕠 𝕤𝕠𝕗𝕥..."

"Hmm, do you like it like this?"

He chuckled, raspy and short of breath.

"𝕀 𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕥."

He was struggling, it was obvious. He wasn't trying to hide it anyway. He couldn't if he wanted to.

Dammit, yer' too good!

And in 3 2 1...

The rocks start slipping off of his back, landing on the ground with hard, muffled thuds. Oh, you've really done it now...

Garou sits up, stretching. He grips both of your calves hard and pulls, bringing you onto his thighs, holding you in place.

No squirmin', just sit still...

"Do you have any idea what you've done...?"

You wrap your arms around his neck, holding his face close to yours.

"What if I do?"

His lips came mere centimetres from yours and he whispered roguishly.

"You've made me drop my rocks..."

Silence overtook you until you burst out laughing. What does that even mean?!?!

"Wha... Garou haha, what are you even saying?"

He growled menacingly. How dare you? First you tease him into being distracted and now you make fun of him?

Ohhh, yer' in for a good one...

"Listen here sweetie, we're gonna head on inside, and I'm goin' to finish you, do ya' hear me?"

You nodded, obligingly.

"Yes, sweetie ♡"

He stood up tall, carrying you by the strong grip he had on your plump thighs.

"So beautiful. I'm gonna bite em'..."

You giggled softly, and held onto him tightly.

You knew what was coming next, craving it. And you'll give it to him too.

Ah, there we go...

Garou's setting you down onto your window seat again and looking softly into your eyes.

"Are ya' ready? We're gonna go for a long time today."

You shyly nodded, confirming.

He sat himself down on the ground near your legs, getting into the correct position. His head coming down to rest upon your thighs, your frilly socks tickling his face, breathing calm.

And then, he's baring his teeth, biting and sucking on your ample skin. He's pulling your thigh-highs down inch by inch, kissing.

"Oh, Garou!"

He's smirking victoriously.

"Let's begin, shall we?"

It's safe to assume he got a different kind of workout that day. The one where he's goin' up and down on you nonstop, if you know what I mean (ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ)

[funtarou]

Be Alright || Suna x f!Reader

A Suna Rintarou x Female Reader angst oneshot

Deciding to do all or most of the song ideas commented by this lovely user

Starting from the pair that I choose for this fic. The song and the character :v I'm choosing randomly on who I think would suit the song or what mood I am in to write

Thank you for commenting in the post!

Story Warning: Angst, Cheating, Break-up, Putting Suna in pain. Toxic or unhealthy behavior Ig? A few curse words. Also in here I don't use the headcanon that Suna smokes. I'm on the mindset that Suna avoid smokes and heavy drinking because he's serious on his pro-volleyball career.

Writing Warning: Bad English and Grammar. Possibilities of multiple miss-spelled, typo or incorectly used words in the middle of a sentence. Wacky way of tryna be dramatic smh I'm a tryhard. English is not my first language. Not fully proof-read

Song inspo: Be Alright - Dean Lewis

Suna heard the front door of the apartment opening. His body quickly jolts up to his feet, before speed-walking from the bedroom to the source of the sound. His once tense shoulders relaxed for a second after seeing your figure safe and sound. But his eyes immidiately caught on to the way your head hangs low and your shoulders trembling. He quickly walks up to you, and pulled up his arms to wrapped your smaller figure in his warmth. Wanting to comfort you, like he'd always do.

But for the first time, you pushed his body away with both of your shaking hands on his chest. Of cource he was surprised, confuse and moreover hurt by your action.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong...?"

He carefully asked, reaching to hold one of your hands. This time you didn't push his touch away, but he was met with the chilling feeling of your hand in his. Which is odd because between you and him, you were usually the one that has a higher body temperature. Always so warm in his arms.

After a minute of tense silence with no answer or movement from you, Suna tries to ask again,

"Where have you been? I was so worried when you didn't picked up my calls or answer my texts. Is something wrong? Did someone said something to you? Or did something happened at work? With a friend? Please tell me you weren't roaming around in the night by yourself..."

He tries multiple questions this time. Yet still voiced each one of those questions slowly, giving you time gaps to answer. But you didn't answer any of them. Instead, you just turned your head to the side, preventing him from seeing your face.

"Love, please look at me. What's the matter?"

The rare but occasional pet name slipped out of his mouth naturally. Concerns and light desperation can be heard lingering in his voice. His free hand then moved to your chin, gently tugging it and persuading you to look up at his eyes.

And when you do, he could see the gathering tears forming on the corner of your eyes.

"I... I'm sorry, Rin... I-I Made a mistake..."

Your voice was shaking, lips trembling and your breathing is starting to be uneven.

He doesn't understand what's wrong yet. What he knew is that he needs to comfort you. And pulling you close to him, giving you his warmth, is the only thing he could think of in the moment. He was not one that is good with comforting words, but he always hopes that his feelings could reach you with every actions he does.

Again, it's weird, because you didn't return his hug. You were just standing there, hands limp beside your body as he wrapped his around you. And now he's starting to get paranoid.

"What happened, love?"

He asked, barely a whisper but audible enough for only you to hear.

"... I'm sorry... I-I didn't meant to... I didn't meant to but why did I do it... W-why.... I'm sorry... You don't deserve this..."

Your tears started to fall down your face, as you quietly rambles. Words occasionally getting cut off through the teary hiccups and sobs.

"Love, please tell me... What did you do?"

Suna asked, gently, yet his voice is starting to shake at the few last words of the question. Somehow, he knew where this might go despite wishing it wasn't what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry... When Osamu came over last week... W-we... I-I'm sorry...!"

You break out in tears before you could confess your actions clearly in words, but Suna understands the signs right away. The cigarettes dust on the living room table two nights a go that wasn't his, he doesn't smoke. Your absence at 8 PM when he's done with practice, meanwhile your work usually finished at 6 PM for the past few days. The amount of beer cans in the trash recently. He doesn't drink alcohol in the weekdays because he has practice. Even when he drinks, he choose the low-alcohol percentage one and he knew you prefer wine more.

"Baby... It's okay... It's okay... It's not your fault..."

Despite the sting in his chest, he still tries to comfort your small trembling figure. He's in denial, he still loves you too much. For a moment, he even though he would forgive you and continue the relationship. Because you spilled the truth of your actions to him first. He can forgive you next and everything will be alright, right?

"It's not okay, Rin! I-it's not... It's not, it is my f-fault! I was even sober at the time... I-I was sober, Rin! This is the worst thing I could've done! Don't you get it!?"

Your cries became louder, your started to grip on his hoodie as your knees feels like giving up. The guilt has been enveloping your small body, plaguing your mind for days and now you're spilling all the poison out.

"It's Okay, love... you're honest and you just told me, right... So it's okay... I forgive you..."

Suna's breath is subtly shaking, his grip on you tighten as he tries to keep you still on your feet.

"Why won't you be mad at me!? Rin, I cheated on you! Yell at me! Scream! Cry! S-something! I-is it... Such a small matter to you... That you're just shrugging it off like this?"

"No... No no baby, that's not it!--"

You're right. He does feel like he wanted to Scream, yell, punch something with the hands he uses to spike. Anything that could distract the stinging feeling of betrayal that started to take root in his heart. But he just doesn't have the strenght to do that to you. He's weak when it comes to you. He even neglects his right and worth in this matter by just saying he's okay with your affair with his ex-teammate, and said to himself that he still wants you by his side.

But on your side, you were hurt by his passive response. By his lack of frustrated reaction. You though maybe you've started to meant so little to him now, that he's willing to over-look this matter. You already prepared yourself for his razor like tongue, his palm on your body, his emotional outbursts, before confessing. But all you get right now are a tight comforting hug and reasuring words that he forgave you? It just feel so unrealistic for someone to be okay with this. And that's why your mind cant help but wander off to asume that your worth is less to him now. To you, he's showing that he doesn't mind, he's not sad or angry enough that you brought another man in your bed. The fact that Suna has been distant and your time with him oftenly interupted these days, strenghten your believes.

You understand that he's busy practicing for up-coming important matches for the season. You understand and waits patiently for a chance to be together. This is what you signed up for when dating a pro volleyball player. But you're only human, and you need attention as much as any other lovers do. In the middle of your dilemma, wanting anyone to hold you close and put their full attention at you, Osamu waltz in the scenario. He accompanied you, listened to your rambles, washed the insecurities that occasionally appeared in your head, giving you his full attention. And the way he looked at you everytime, you just felt like you were needed again, as if you are desireable. One slipped up from your side, that's all it took before everything escalated between you two. A blur between reality and desires in your head.

And of cource, like most humans would, your regret comes after the deed is done. But the fact that the deed has been done multiple times with the quiet twin, with multiple lingering regret yet pleasureable nights being experienced, Made it worst in your head. Made you think that, you're not worthy being with someone like Suna Rintarou, after the horrible things you've did.

"... Please, Rin... Break up with me-"

"NO!"

Suna quickly interupted you words. Pulling you lightly away to look at his widening eyes.

"I don't want to end things! I said, I forgive you, (Y/n)!"

He said again with his voice slightly higher than before. His right hand moved up to touch your cheeks, rubbing his thumb to wipe a stray tear away. While you would usually leaned in to his touch, this time you stayed still. The feeling of your stilled skin againts his, no pressure being put on his palm from your attempt on getting comfort on his touch, feels foreign. And it made a sick lump forming in his throat.

"Please, I still love you... Even after everything, I still fucking do! Please stay..."

He's practically begging you to reconsider the decision. Not wanting to let go. He doesn't care if this is unhealthy, toxic even. He doesn't care if ignoring the fact that your lover cheated on you and you still want them to stay without wanting anything to payed up what you did behind his back, is toxic.

"No... R-rin... Suna... We cant... It's for the best if we end it here..."

'I'm not worth it, after all I've done, I'm not'.

You continued in your head, loosing your voice before being able to speak it outloud.

His heart shatters hearing his last name coming out from your lips.

"No, I'm not fucking Suna! I'm Rin! I'm Rin to you! I'm love, baby, darling, all those cheesy nicknames you've said since highschool! Please don't do this to me! I love you, (y/n)! I'm sorry!"

'I should've never let you drift away, please stay.'

Despite him starting to yell desperately, he lost the Will to continue those last few words.

"Suna, you have nothing to apologize for. P-please... Please let it go... I-I cant keep going like this... It won't work..."

Even though your main reason to end things with Suna was your guilt, deep down you started to realized. You cant keep going, you need to end things here, because it's wrong now. It's wrong that you actually started loving Osamu. It's wrong to be with him, when your heart spoke up to you that it chooses another man now. And you wish feelings weren't something uncontrolable to human.

And it's all wrong.

To you, being with him now is wrong.

To him, seeing you leave is wrong.

"Hey, man. You need to start showing up at practices more, you know. The coach and the others are starting to worry."

The familiar voice of Komori can be heard as he entered the almost empty living room of Suna's apartment. The one he used to share with you, now stripped off of every aspect of you. You moved out, started a new without him.

Suna didn't respond to Komori, instead opting to continue changing the TV channel through all the un-excited programs that are streaming at this late hour. Komori sight, putting the bottle of sake down on the table in front of the couch, Along with two glass cup. The Libero plopped down beside Suna on the couch, pouring a glass of the low-alcohol sake in the two cup. He Picked up one for himself, leaning back on the couch.

There was an awkward silence between the two for a few minutes, as Suna stopped to watch at a channel that is streaming a random movie.

Ever since the day you left, Suna hasn't been doing too good in the team and barely present in practices. Always calling an Excuse of not feeling well. It kept going for awhile now, to the point Komori starts visiting him almost on a daily basis whenever he skipped practice or went home early. He occasionally bring him snacks, light alcohol, and other things he hoped might make Suna's head drift away from his problems or feel a tas but better.

It took Komori awhile, but Suna eventually spilled out the beans one day that you broke up with him after you cheated on him. At first Komori was confused and shock at first, cuz he asumed Suna's the one initiating the break and he never though you would do something like that. But then Suna elaborated a little bit more on the situation, which didn't help on lowering Komori's confusion. Afterall, it's rare for him to hear from someone he knew that the partner whom cheated was the one wanting the break up after confessing, meanwhile the other partner wish for them to stay.

"I know you love her but it's over, mate."

Komori broke the silence first, taking a sip of his sake as his eyes continue looking at the T.V screen. His words made Suna's eyes moved to the side, glancing at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Komori's words made Suna's hand that was holding his phone twitches ever so lightly. That hand made a few motion of wanting to be raise up, so that Suna could see the screen of the device. The screen showing your contact and past texts you two once shared almost on a daily basis. The Libero somehow noticed this, and sight shortly. His long arm reached over to push Suna's phone away from him, putting it on the table in front of them.

"It doesn't matter, put the phone away."

Komori said once again, yet Suna still replies with his silence, refusing to make eye-contact with the Libero.

"It's never easy to walk away. Let her go, It'll be okay."

The lighter haired male continued, wanting to sound reasuring and supportive to his teammate, his friend. He raised the sake glass in his hand and encourages Suna to take his too. Smiling when the middle blocker did so.

"It's gonna hurt for a bit of time. So bottoms up, let's forget tonight."

Komori said, lightly bumping their glass together as a form of a silent 'kanpai'.

"You'll find another and you'll be just fine. Let her go, it'll be alright."

Suna appreciates all the things Komori did for him. Despite only knowing each other after both being accepted to EJP Raijin, Komori is such an understanding teammate, a supportive friend. Suna sometimes feels bad for putting him through the trouble of worrying over his pathetic self.

He knew that Komori's intention is good. He appreciates it. But there are just some pain that cant be healed as fast as one wish to, pain that cant be ignored and forgotten as if nothing ever happened. For him, it was the pain of betrayal and lost of the person who he has been dreaming of the rest of his life with. Yet he cant find it in him to blame things on you. He already stood himself low enough to still wanted you despite the betrayal. His heart and mind was already set on putting you on top of him. And the fact that you let go of him, something that he should've been the one doing the moment he knew you've been cheating on him for awhile, feels hurt-fully kind of you. Of cource Suna always has the though that if you'd agreed on staying with him by his pleads, he wouldn't be able to move on if it were to happen again. Suna was nowhere stupid, he knew you've fallen out of love from him the moment he touched you that night. But he was irrationally desperate as he begged you to stay, as weird as it sounds. And if you were to stay longer, it might escalated in to something more toxic for him and you. Your decision to let him go as soon as you can, is arguably right.

Emotions are weird. It feels weird.

The fact that only time could tell if he'll fully let you go, is probably not the most convincing thing he could tell his teammates, friends and couch. Heck, it's probably not convincing himself either. People told things like that all the time, but when someone they knew say those kinds of things the obvious worries and concerns are clearly seen in their expression. Suna doesn't want that. He doesn't need useless Pity. Lucky for him, Komori, whom the only friend he has that knew about his problem at the moment, never looked at him that way.

With shaky hands, Suna pulled the cup to his lips, drinking the liquid empty with two big gulps. Komori's statement of "forget the night" was just in the moment, no way they could be wasted over this low-alcohol drink. But to him, it still tastes better than cheap beer.

"... Thanks, Komori."

Suna mumbled lowly, barely a whisper but the silence of the whole place Made it audible enough for the ginger haired male.

"Anytime, bro."

For now, acting like the unbothered person he is again is what he could do. He's not one who likes to trouble the people around him.

A/N: I feel like I fail to make people cry everytime I try too hard to describe the emotions and logic behind the feelings and mindset the characters are having. Until I realized that I'm not a physocologic major lol

Cover edit are by me, image used is from the Haikyuu anime

Also Tumblr app is failing on me and keep kicking me out from the app. Idk if it's my phone or the app.

Hope someone would enjoy this

I rarely see much xreader cheating fic where the reader is the one that Made the mistake and the character is the one hurting. So I acted in advance

[thehouseoflamentation]

Everyday we stray further from god’s light...jk jk

I said I was ok with most nsfw and now I’m gonna live up to that claim so here we go!!!

Btw I checked Bad Dragon’s website and they actually have a model called “Demon Dick” so uhh….yeah….

For some reason “keep reading” was messing with the format so I had to repost this. I didn’t include any pictures but I did include links to what I think the boys might look like down there based on the models they had so proceed at your own risk!!

(Side note: I only had shape in mind while I was choosing these bc some of those colors really be wild. Also I’d like to imagine they’re all “extra large” sized)

Lucifer - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/axel)

That night, Lucifer called you into his room for a little “chat.” What was supposed to be a discussion of the student exchange program quickly escalated into something else as you found yourself unable to pull away from his lips as he trapped you in his embrace. It wasn’t long before he moved to the bed, sat down, and shifted his legs apart making it very clear what he wanted next. Now you were on your knees frantically trying to undo Lucifer’s belt while he looked down at you, smirking at how needy you’ve become. After pulling his trousers down to his ankles you made quick work of his boxers moving them down just as eagerly until....you saw it. You thought that since Lucifer looked mostly human the rest of him would look human as well but you were wrong. Not only was he longer and thicker than anything you’ve seen before but his shape was also…well...unique. After staring at it for a good few seconds he moved your face closer by gently nudging your head forward. The action only made you jolt and scoot a good three feet back.

“Lucifer, I love you but I’m not putting that anywhere near my mouth” you say as you slowly take a step back.

“And why is that? Too big for a human?” his eyebrows furrowed as you took another step.

“Too big f- YOUR DICK IS THICKER THAN A SODA CAN DO YOU WANT ME TO CHOKE???”

“......”

He stayed silent as he watched you slip out of his room, too shocked and embarrassed by your response to go after you. He didn’t think being “too big” was ever going to be a problem for him until now.

Mammon - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/crackers)

Even though he had his own room Mammon insisted on staying in your room again, going on about how it was an “honor” to have him sleep over. You were starting to get tired of his little act so you decided to shut him up with a kiss. To your credit it did work for a good two seconds before he retaliated by pulling you into a kiss on his own. Soon your hands started to wander up his shirt and while he shivered at your touch he followed your lead and did the same. The kiss was messy but full of passion. Once you pulled apart Mammon carried you over to your bed, plopping you down onto the sheets as he fell on top of you. You knew exactly where this was going so you started to strip once you landed on the sheets. After you threw your clothes to the side you started helping Mammon with his belt. He kicked his pants off then his boxers and as you looked down you almost couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He was definitely bigger than a human and the bumps and ridges along his shaft didn’t seem like they were going to make it any easier for you to take him in. Mammon started to get embarrassed from your staring his skin turning a dark shade of red.

“Quit starin at me like that! W-What are you tryna say I’m small or something cus I’m no-”

“Oh you are anything but small Mammon. Quite the opposite actually. I just...I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m out...”

“What do you mean you’re out? This is your room where are you going??”

That night you stayed in Mammon’s room while he was left to contemplate his life in your room. Well at least you thought he was big so that’s….partially a win right?

Leviathan - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/lenneth)

That night, Leviathan invited you over to read some new manga he got from Akuzon. It received a lot of hype before its release so he was looking forward to reading it with you. When you stepped into his room he handed you a copy of the latest volume in the series and let you sit on his bed while he plopped himself into a bean bag. You laid on your stomach turning page after page but after a while you noticed a pair of eyes spying on you as you rested on the sheets. Levi kept peeking up from his book to take glances at you so you shot him a glance and a smile back making him look away in embarrassment. Deciding the manga could wait, you made your way over to Levi, gently moving the book out of his hands to lean in for a kiss. He was shy but he didn’t seem to resist as he let his hands comb through your hair and wander down your back. Wanting to speed things up you crouched down between his legs and undid his belt and pants zipper before palming him through his boxers. Levi shuddered at the contact but froze completely when you pulled down his boxers altogether. Aside from his impressive size the shape of his cock was definitely different from a human’s.

“Levi...you uhhh-”

“I know”

“It’s umm...”

“Yeah”

“It looks-”

“I GET IT!!!! IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING YOU’D SEE FROM A HENTAI NOW STOP STARING!!!!!”

Both of you sat there for a moment trying to diffuse the awkward situation until you decided to break the silence. “Well it’s still not as bad as tentacles right?”

You were forcibly removed from Levi’s room.

Satan - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/fenrir)

You had a test coming up soon and luckily Satan was generous enough to help you study for it. The both of you were seated in the farthest corner of the library to avoid any noise or disturbances from the other visitors. You were able to make great progress with his help but after three hours of cramming you needed a break. Since the two of you were alone with pretty much no one else around to see or hear your shenanigans, you decided to see just how far you could push the demon sitting beside you. Your eyes were trained on your textbook but your hand slipped under the table stroking Satan’s thigh slowly before moving up between his legs. Normally he would have protested by now but it seems that Satan was just as in need of a break as you were. He shifted closer to you making it easier to undo his belt and zipper. You stroked him through his boxers for a bit before pulling them down to his thighs to get a good look at what was underneath. You almost did a double take once you noticed not only the ungodly size of his dick but also the curves and ridges around his head and shaft. Without a word you slid his boxers back up, zipped his pants, and buckled his belt before turning back to the book you left on the table and pretending you saw nothing, unwilling to even look Satan in the eyes after what you just saw.

“Uhhh why did you jus-”

“Wow! This question is pretty hard what did you get for number six again?”

“MC you didn’t answer my-”

“Were we supposed to read pages 134 to 145 or was it 150 to 166?”

“MC!!!!!”

“Shhhh! Satan we’re in a library it's rude to yell”

This went on for a while until the two of you eventually went back to studying, forgetting the events that previously unfolded.

Asmodeus - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/spritz)

You and Asmo had the day off so you spent it at the mall. After getting your hair and nails done at a salon the two of you went to Majolish to find some new outfits. You searched through racks of clothing until your cart was full but before you could buy anything you had to make sure they fit first. As you brought your clothes into the dressing room you pulled on the door but before it could shut you felt a hand stop it mid-swing, preventing it from closing. It was Asmo. He held his pointer finger against his lips to quiet you before slipping into the cramped stall with you. “Today’s been great and all MC but how about we make it even better?” his warm breath tickled your ear as he whispered but that didn’t stop you from nodding in agreement with his desires. There was a chance someone could spot you so you both tried to speed things up before someone noticed. You removed your shirt and guided Asmo’s hands back to your chest letting him play with your nipples while you palmed him through his pants. Neither of you could wait any longer so you got on your knees and started removing his pants and boxers. You were prepared to fuck but you weren’t prepared to see....that. For the Avatar of Lust his cock was certainly intimidating in both size and shape. It wasn’t quite human in appearance either which was pretty evident at first glance.

“Alright MC now just- hey wait! Where are you going?? MC?!?!!”

Before you could even think about how to fit his cock inside of you, you grabbed your shirt, slipped it back on, and sprint-walked out of the dressing room as quickly and quietly as you could, leaving Asmo behind.

Beelzebub - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/clayton)

There was no doubt about it. Beelzebub was one of the biggest and strongest among the brothers but you wanted to see for yourself just how “big” he could really get. After dinner that night, you slipped into Beel’s room with a bowl of ice cream you snuck from the kitchen. You offered to give him some with the condition that you got to feed him. Needless to say he agreed and was honestly enjoying himself until you “accidentally” shifted causing the bowl to slip out of your hands and the ice cream to spill onto your chest and shirt. Beel looked sad for a second because of his ice cream but after seeing the smirk that was slowly spreading across your face he soon understood everything. “You were planning this weren’t you?” Your smirk only grew larger once you heard those words. “Well since my shirt is dirty I might as well take it off~” you lifted your shirt over your head and threw it into the corner of the room leaving your chest exposed, some melted ice cream still dripping down your skin. Beel licked his lips before leaning in to taste you, letting his tongue roam over every curve. Before he moved down between your legs you decided you wanted to get a taste of him too so you pushed him onto his back and started undoing his belt and zipper before eagerly sliding down his pants and boxers. Your jaw almost hit the floor. You knew he was big but this? This was insane!! You couldn’t even wrap your hand around his shaft completely!!! And as if his size wasn’t intimidating enough he also had bumps and ridges along the sides of his cock too!! Your body was ready to nope the fuck out of there so without thinking you slipped your stained shirt back on and found yourself ready to exit Beel’s room, hand already on the door knob.

“Uhh MC? Where are you going? I’m right here!” Beel was still on his back confused as all heck.

“I’m just….gonna get you a replacement ice cream I’ll be back...”

Once you shut the door Beel could have sworn he heard the sound of sprinting. He didn’t see you for the rest of the night but he did find a bowl of ice cream at his doorstep.

Belphegor - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/sleipnir)

You knew Belphegor hated being woken up more than anything but you hoped that he would make an exception just this once. He didn’t seem opposed to sharing the bed either out of fondness for you or from being too tired to care. You curled yourself around him, nuzzling his back while your hands slowly traveled up his shirt. Your fingers eventually worked their way up to play with his chest and nipples. Belphegor couldn’t ignore your presence anymore so instead he was going to make sure you made it worth his time. He rolled over onto his back and positioned you so you would be on top of him. Belphegor wasn’t usually the type to rush sex but he was exhausted after going through classes that day and the fact that you woke him up wasn’t exactly a good thing either. Not wanting to waste much time he grabbed your waist and started grinding against you only stopping for a moment to remove his pants and boxers. You were about to lower yourself onto him until you noticed just how big he was. His length and girth were above that of a human, not to mention he had a number of bumps and ridges along his shaft. There was no way you were about to impale yourself on that so instead you rolled off of him and wrapped yourself in a blanket burrito with your face turned away from him.

“Y’know Belphie it's late, your tired, I’m tired, maybe we should just go sleep RIGHT NOW ”

“Wha- after you spent all that time trying to-mMPH!!” you threw a pillow at his face denying him the chance to finish his sentence.

“CAN’T HEAR YOU I’M SLEEPING!!!!”

Belphie was confused and irritated that you riled him up for nothing but at least he could sleep now.

[crowtrinkets]

Wet Cobblestone

The Apprentice works as Julian's apprentice, but they're having a hard time dealing with the reality of the Red Plague. They miss Asra and try to find comfort in... other forms.

Julian and GN!Apprentice

Word Count: 4,095

Warning: Drinking to cope and big sad

(Am I writing to avoid responsibilities? Yes)

---

Wet cobblestone. It's never really a thing you pay attention to, not unless you’re trying to forget something. Something so heart-wrenchingly cruel and painful that you’ll pay attention to the sounds of your boots sauntering across wet cobblestone. Trying to clear your mind after condemning someone to death. Life was easy when I was simply a magician, before the plague, before Asra, before I became a doctor’s apprentice. I didn’t think it would be this difficult, I thought I could cure the plague. But at this point, it’s become a wave, and it’s going to swallow this city whole. I should have left.

The bell jingling on the door of Julian's clinic snaps me out of my thoughts. I didn’t even realize I had already made my way across town from my house call. I was returning from a patient visit. It wasn’t a good one. I remove my mask and take a deep sigh, wiping the sweat off my skin, it may be cold out in Vesuvia but wearing a mask for hours takes its toll. I drop my mask onto Julian's desk as I walk into the back supply room. A wave of emotions overtakes me as I feel my heart racing in my chest. I take a deeply pained gasp trying to compose myself, but it only wills the tears into falling faster. The aching pain in my heart manifests itself in my sobs, I cover my mouth with my leather gloved hand trying to stifle it. Falling to my knees I sob silently. Mourning the victims, mourning myself, mourning my confidence. Did I really think I could cure the plague? Me? A lowly magician? One who couldn’t even manage a relationship, and drove my once chance away.

The wind howls outside, whistling as it makes its way through the drafts of Julian’s clinic. I continue to cry but not as hard. It always goes like this, I hide, I cry, I stop and I go back to work. Slowly standing, I sniffle and wipe my face with my sleeve. I then hear footsteps and start to frantically dry my eyes. I can’t let Julian see me like this, he always tries to take the burden of my pain and I can't let him do that, he’s already too busy. Still wiping my face I quickly walk out of the supply closet but run head-on into the man in front of me.

“Oh my! Oh hello there MC? Oh uh… are you alright?” It's Julian. I avoid looking at him, hoping he doesn’t see the redness of my eyes, stinging from my tears. I slowly nod.

“Yes… I’m alright Julian, thank you,” I slowly back away but he brings an arm around my shoulder.

“Come, I think we both deserve some tea, hm?” He guides me to the clinic kitchen. It's small and has an even smaller chair with a few tables. But it's cozy and a perfect place for tea, and for becoming existential on those especially hard days. I sit at the table and Julian approaches the stove. He fills the kettle with water and searches for matches to light the wood-fire stove.

“Hrm uh, I can’t seem to find the uh… would you mind?” Before he can finish I give Julian a quick nod as I approach the stove. Opening the hatch I use my magic to create a modest fire.

“Ahh, thank you, my dear, I knew having a magician as an apprentice would come in handy,” Julian winks, it causes me to give a small smile, but in an instant, it's gone, and I turn to take my place back at the table. Julian takes to standing by the stove, almost like he thinks watching the pot will cause the water to boil faster. It does not matter to me, I’m still going through the motions of my solo adventure in the supply closet. A few minutes go by and Julian prepares two cups of tea. He offers me sugar which I accept, before placing my cup in front of me and taking the seat across. We sit in silence, sipping our warm beverages, listening to the wind howling outside as rain slowly approaches. The sweetness of the sugar is nice on my tongue, but I still feel the ache in my chest. Julian can’t seem to sit still. His eyes shift from me to his cup, me, cup, the wall, cup, me. I can’t take his fidgeting much longer.

“Are you going to ask me why I was crying?” Julian jumps a little when I break the silence.

“I don’t wish to impose but, not every day you find your apprentice crying in a supply closet,” he attempts to joke. Oh if only he knew.

“I made a house call, to a family of four. They’re all infected and very far along in their symptoms,” I circle my finger around the rim of my cup, attempting to keep my composure. “They’re all being sent to the Lazaret as we speak,” Julian gives me a knowing nod. Humming in response as he glares into his cup. We both know this feeling too well. Having to send innocent people to their demise, where they will be cremated, and buried. Without a marker, without a proper funeral.

“You know what they said to me?” My voice wavers. “They said that they were going to dress in the nicest clothing they had before they left for the Lazaret… so they could go out… looking their best,” hot wet tears start to fall down my face again. I bring my hand to my face, but I stop when the leather makes contact with my hand. These hands, they try to help, but all they can do is condemn people to death, and prolong their suffering by keeping them alive, occasionally aiding the pain. But it's only temporary. I rip off my gloves and send them across the room. As far away from me as possible. Bringing my face into my hands I begin to sob once again.

I hear Julian stand in his chair, and then I feel two arms bring me into the warm hug. The first hug I’ve had in… a while, not since before my fight with Asra. I turn into his chest, letting ugly sobs escape me, while I cling to him like a lost child. All Julian does is hug me, stroking my back with a hand. But it’s the comfort I’ve needed for a while.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m supposed to be working and here I am sobbing into your shoulder,” I finally pull away from Julian, my hands still on his chest. He keeps one hand on my shoulder, while the other rests on my hand placed over his heart.

“Well I didn’t think we were on the clock, I thought we were just having a tea break hm?” Julian's warm voice always seemed to soothe me in times of stress. But I’ve never broken down like this in front of him. Ever since taking up my apprenticeship with him, I’ve always tried to be the stronger one. Julian is definitely one for dramatics so I thought I had to be strong to compensate. For the sake of morals. What a load of good that did me.

I give Julian a nod, and stare at his hand, pressed softly on top of mine. Despite his gloves, I can feel just how cold his hands are. When I brought it up in the past he said something about it “matching his heart” but I know in reality Julian is a softy. I mean he made me tea and let me cry into his clothes. I flush slightly and pull my hands back. How long have I been holding on to him?

“Thank you, Julian,” I gaze into his kind, stormy eyes. He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping well. I probably look no better, however. I can't sleep. I spend every night haunted by my patients, their cries and wet coughs echoing in my head. I can't even sleep in my own bed, it feels empty and without life. Sometimes I sleep at my desk in the clinic. I wait until Julian has left, or has promptly passed out at his own desk, and try to get some sleep, but even then.

My eyes travel Julian’s face as he still crouches beside me, a hand on my shoulder. I reach my hand up and I tuck a strand of his auburn hair behind his ear, he shivers slightly at the contact. Is this ok? To be like this towards him? I’m his apprentice but… maybe I can be selfish. Just this once. I grab his other hand, lacing our fingers together. Julian’s eyes have gone wide, a flush of pink settling on his face. He stands instantly, pulling away, and clears his throat.

“W-well it seems the rain has let up? And oh! It must be half past 5, and you know what they say about 5 o’clock,” gathering our now cold tea and disposing of it. I suddenly feel cold at the loss of his touch. No, maybe I was doing too much. We work together this isn't some fling like we’re teenagers. Professional, yes.

“I-I could go for a drink,” Julian whips around from the sink and looks at me. A grin forming on his lips. I stand and awkwardly grab my gloves from the corner where I threw them.

“I’ll just change into regular clothing, I think seeing a doctor at a bar will damper the mood,” with a nod from Julian, I exit into the bathroom where Julian and I keep our personal items. I remove my protective gear, undoing the claps and putting it away along with my gloves. I grab my travel cloak and swing it around my shoulders. Exiting the bathroom I go to find Julian. A few drinks couldn’t hurt especially after the day I had.

“Ready to go, my dear?” He asks exiting the kitchen, putting his arm out for me to grasp. With a nod I take it and we exit the clinic together.

—- At the Rowdy Raven

How many tankards has it been? 3? 4? 6? I lost track. The world around me swirls, I hear people shouting because of an unfair card game. I rub a hand across my face, my lips are numb, just like my emotions. Good, I don’t want to feel tonight. I can't remember the last time I drank this much. Julian approaches with a glass of water and hands it to me.

“I uh, think you should drink this, and maybe I should walk you home,” I take the glass reluctantly and take a sip. It's cold and soothes the burn in my chest.

“Wow doctor, if I didn’t know you well enough I think you’d be tryna get me to take you home,” my words slur out. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or my loneliness but Julian is looking extra… something. Shit, I'm not sure, my words are failing me. My eyes are blurry and sounds seem to echo but I think I can see Julian blushing.

“Just, drink your water, I don’t think you will be able to work effectively with a hangover,” he sits next to me and moves the glass closer. With a groan, I take the drink and slowly but eventually finish it all. Feeling a little bit more sober, Julian and I leave the Raven together.

Right out the door, I stumble, Julian catches me by the elbows.

“Woah there! Maybe I should’ve had you drink another glass,” he laughs putting an arm around me to support me, his embrace is warm in comparison to the biting cold wind outside. The walk back to my shop is quiet. There's no conversation, just the sound of our shoes tapping along the wet cobblestone, and me occasionally losing my balance. The wind starts to pick up, sending leaves through the air. I stumble a little against it as it whips my face leaving me shivering. That’ll sober you up. I then feel a drop fall onto my head. Julian and I stop mid-walk and look up at the sky.

“It would seem the storm has picked up,” I nod in response, Julian then looks at me, his usual smirk plastered on his lips. “Think you’re sober enough to run?” He asks.

“Run?” I tilt my head. Just then the rain starts to pick up, and a downpour approaches. “Run!” I shout. We both take off in the rain, headed towards my shop. I grab onto Julian's hand hoping to keep up with him and we laugh as we race through the streets. We finally approach my shop and I hastily open it so we can get warm and dry.

I close the door and lean against it, heart-pounding and breath heavy. Julian is leaning on the counter trying to catch his own breath. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair, sending rain droplets onto his shoulders. The moon shines through a window, illuminating his pale skin. My stomach starts to flutter with nerves, or maybe it's the alcohol. I gulp.

“My, I didn’t expect it to come down like that!” Julian laughs. He rights himself and walks in a circle, observing my shop. “I don’t think I’ve ever really seen the inside of your shop,” he glances at me.

“Oh yea, I um haven't been keeping it open lately cause I’ve been too busy so it’s a little messy… sorry,” I nervously fiddle with the seam of my cloak. Why am I so flustered? Professional! this is a PROFESSIONAL setting. Just two co-workers who went out for drinks… and held hands in the rain… and now he's wet... in my shop. Oh, he’s wet! He’s going to catch a cold!

“W-why don’t I make us some tea and I’ll grab you a towel dry off?” I head towards the stairs and stop before I go up, looking at Julian over my shoulder. Please follow please follow please follow. He nods and we both ascend the stairs.

After clumsily filling the kettle and starting the stove, Julian tries to make me sit, but I insist I am fine and that the rain sobered me up. However I am not fine, I can manage on my own but my emotions are all over the place, why is Julian making me feel so strange? Why am I feeling things towards him? Like I want him to touch me and... No! Professional.

I find a few mismatched towels and bring them over. I hand them to Julian as I take one myself and dry myself off. I technically have a spell to fix all this but… I don’t want him to leave. Julian wraps a towel around his shoulders as he sits in a chair at the table. And then silence falls upon us once again.

“Um, thank you again, Julian, you always seem to know how to cheer me up,” I stand awkwardly, shifting my weight and avoiding Julian's eyes.

“Well, what kind of boss would I be if I didn’t take my employees out every once in a while?” He tries to be suave, but I can sense some unease in his voice. Water drips from his hair to his shoulders.

“Oh! Your hair is still wet,” I approach the table and grab a smaller towel, placing it on Julian, covering his face. Without thinking I begin to dry his hair. Rubbing the towel all over.

“Oh um, thank you,” Julian says. I freeze in place. What the hell am I doing. I slowly move my hands from the top of Julian's head to the back, towards his nape, where I slowly pull off the towel so it falls on his shoulders revealing his face. However, never in all my days did I expect Julian to be gazing at me like he was. His eyes were wide, filled with surprise and wonder. His mouth agape as he looked up at me, still slouched in the chair while I stand between his legs. My arms rest on his shoulders as I look down at him. Neither of us speaks a word. Suddenly I feel Julian’s arms, wrap around my back, he’s not grabbing me, just holding me, keeping me in place. I catch his eyes flick up and down multiple times. And I would be lying if I said mine wasn’t doing so too. The moonlight once again beams through the window as it pokes through the clouds. Illuminating Julians face with a cool glow. But at the same moment, my eye catches a glimpse of something on the table. I look over Julian's shoulders at it. No, it can't be, it was too dark in here to see but now that the moon is out... I see it. The succulent Asra bought me a while ago. It’s dead. A wave of emotion overtakes me, I look down at Julian who stares up at me, confused and almost expectantly.

“Julian, I-I’m so sorry,” I pull away from him, turning my back to face him. Trying to hide my embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have done that, or any of the things I did, I’m sorry. I’m just a mess,”

“A mess? Whatever makes you say that” I hear Julian stand, the chair squeaking as he pushes it back into place. I turn around and gesture towards the potted plant in the center of the table.

“The plant it was a gift from… from a friend, and I let it die,” My vision starts to become blurry once again.

“Well I’m sure your friend would understand, you have been busy lately-“

“You don’t understand!” The flood gates open. “I can’t even keep a plant alive let alone my patients! And all day I’ve just been selfish trying to flirt with you when I could have been working!” The ugly sobs return, I cry into my towel, hoping I’ll open my eyes and all of this will be a dream. How embarrassing I must look.

In the midst of my cries I hear the kettle started whistling. Mid sob, I turn toward the kitchenette and prepare tea for Julian and me. No cream or sugar for Julian, a teaspoon of sugar for myself. I turn around to give Julian his tea but he’s already behind me, reaching for the cup. He takes his drink and sits back at the table, and I join him with my respective cup. Snapping my finger, I like the singular candle on my kitchen table. Once again we are sat in silence drinking our tea. I’ve stopped sobbing, but my tears continue to fall.

“I’m sorry again Julian,” I sniffle between words. “I cannot lie I had an ulterior motive to bring you to my shop, but I shouldn’t have done that,” I’m too embarrassed to even meet his gaze.

“It’s alright, I cannot lie and say I didn’t sense you were up to something, so in a sense, I should also be apologizing,” I meet Julian’s eyes once again, he’s staring at me with a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. Taking a sip of his tea he continues.

“I understand it’s been hard for… all of us, because of the plague, but you can't allow it to overtake you and make you feel weak,” at this point I have calmed down, my cheeks stained in tears and my nose sniffly. I nod in response, gazing at my poor succulent.

“You said a friend gifted it to you?” Julian tries to strike up a conversation.

“Yes… he um loved to travel and would bring me gifts often,” I take a sip of my tea trying to keep myself composed.

“Were you close?” Julian asks. My eyes shift to his wondrous expression.

“Yes along the lines of that,” I pause for a second contemplating if I should tell him. “We got into an argument when the plague first became really bad. He wanted to leave, and I wanted to stay and help… So he left,” the last few words taste bitter in my mouth.

“Do you miss him?” I pause for a minute before I finally nod. Embarrassed to confess to Julian I was essentially trying to use him.

“I hope you don’t think ill of me… I should really stay away from the bottle,” I laugh bitterly. Julian quietly laughs in response.

“I could never think ill of you,”

“Thank you….” I glance out the window, the rain is still coming down hard. I don’t want to kick Julian out after I treated him so terribly.

“Would you like to sleep here, tonight? Just because of the rain and… I would feel awful sending you to walk home in that,” I gesture to the window. Julian gives me a smile and nods.

“Yes that would be lovely, I can sleep on the floor,”

“Oh no! You can sleep in my bed I insist!”

“I feel sleeping in your bed is a step backward from today,” he jokes. I flush with embarrassment.

“I suppose so,” I stand from the table and collect the cups and bring them to the sink. After cleaning the mess and gathering the laundry I hand Julian some pillows and blankets from my bed. Julian then goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed leaving me alone. I quickly change into my sleep clothes and stare at my bed before climbing in. I haven’t slept in my own bed in a while. I’ve been avoiding my shop like… well, you know. The memory of Asra and I fighting haunts me in my sleep. And now all I can think of when I’m here is how he would hold me in bed. I couldn’t bear to sleep in it alone.

“Well I don’t think staring at your bed will help you fall asleep any faster,” I whip around to see Julian, standing in nothing but trousers. I try not to let him see my flush.

“Yes of course,” I crawl into bed and wrap myself in a blanket and try not to stare while Julian approaches and lays on the floor beside my bed. He lets out a sigh once he’s comfortable and then there is silence. Had it not been for the rain beating hard on the windows, Julian would have heard my loud nervous breathing. I can’t remember the last time I slept in my own bed let alone while someone was here with me. I shut my eyes and try to will myself asleep.

Nothings working, my mind wanders worried about my patients, about my poor plants, about Asra, about Julian, about my shop. Anything and everything is causing anxiety in my mind. I toss and turn in bed trying to get comfortable but nothing works. After what feels like 2 hours have passed I finally open my eyes and let out a huff.

“Can’t sleep?” Julian’s groggy tone cuts through the silence. I let out a sigh.

“Yes… I haven’t had much sleep lately, I guess I’m not used to sleeping alone,”

“We’ll you’re technically not alone right now…”

“Yes I guess you’re right… But there's a difference between someone sleeping in your bed and someone sleeping next to your bed,” Julian lets out a short laugh.

“Yes I guess that is so, I’ve never had the best luck sleeping either… would you… would you want me to hold your hand?”

“What?” I quickly sit up and look over the edge of my bed at Julian. It’s very dark but I feel that I can see him blushing.

“Well you know, so you don’t feel like you’re sleeping alone,” his voice wavers slightly. I guess that makes sense.

“Ok,” I say. I then lay on my stomach and scooch to the edge of the bed and allow my arm to hang over the side, my hand finds Julians and we both lay there in silence. Our hands interlocked, listening as the rain comes down in the streets. Julian's hands are still cold as usual, but it’s soothing in a sense, against my hands that are usually hot and aching with tension like the rest of my body. I eventually hear Julian’s breath still into a sleepy rhythm. I keep my eyes on him, watching his chest rise and fall as tendrils of moonlight poke through the curtains. Eventually, I close my eyes, and slowly but surely I fall asleep into a warm comforting slumber.

[janus-manus]

Maybe Anxceit? Get some good punk x emo high school Au? For prompt, maybe something like- “Who did this to you? Was it Zack? If I find that fucker, I swear, I’ll kill him.”

Pairings: Anxciet

Characters: Deceit, Virgil

Mentioned: Logan, Remus, Roman

Trigger Warnings: Transphobia, violence, cursing

Words: 1905

Notes: This was one of those fics that just,,, wrote itself.

Virgil had a sharp mouth. He knew that. It got him in a lot of fights. Although, “fights” is putting it kindly. It would be better described as getting his ass whupped. He wasn’t exactly a big guy, to put it lightly. He had a skinny frame, and the only muscle he had was on his legs. That’s what you get when you spend your life making rude remarks and running for your life.

Today was one of those days where a single look told you he meant business. He’d woken up with a killer headache and an urge to kill, not to mention he was on his period. He’d gotten out of the house twenty minutes late, and walked into class as the teacher was lecturing. Out of uniform. Late. Not paying attention. Ungodly attitude. He wouldn’t be getting high marks today.

At lunch, he found a seat in the corner with the other weirdos. Deceit (Who no one knew the name of.) and Remus sat only a few seats away. The three were sort of friends, Virgil thought, but he never knew for sure. They never talked, they only sat at the same table, and exchanged half-hearted hellos in the halls. 

Logan was also sitting at the table, as he often did to get away from his friends. Virgil knew him and his group only by the fact that they were pretty nice. (Except Roman. He’d never beaten him up, he wasn’t a bad guy, but they definitely were not friendly.)

When Virgil walked out of the school with his hood pulled over his head and MCR blasting in his ears, it was gloomy and grey in the world. His eyes were glued to the ground, his head in a different space. 

Suddenly he felt a firm grip on his arm. On instinct, he ripped his arm out of his attackers grip, spinning around to face him.

In retrospect, it would have been smart to run. Virgil could run, he’d been doing it his whole life. But no, rather than sprint the other direction, his fist met the meaty flesh of his attackers face. 

It had seemed effective, the attacker, Zack, stumbled backwards. However, it didn’t take long for him to pull up his sleeves on muscled arms. Virgil was already in a fighting stance, ready to take the hit. Maybe, on a good day, he could take Zack without getting completely beat up. As already established, it was not a good day. 

Two, three, maybe four–Virgil never counted heads, he just swung at them–burly figures were standing behind Zack, already preparing their fists should their leader make a move.

It was then, that Virgil could have run, he could have back down. He could’ve said sorry, pulled his hood up, and walked off.

But he was stupid.

“Hey dyke,” taunted Zack, “What are you doing trying look like a boy, lady. And you was a pretty girl, too.”

“Yeah, Daisy, what a pretty girl.” One of the others chimed in.

“And real pretty boobs you got, girl, why’d you try and make ‘em go away?”

That shit hurt. When Virgil had a bad day, that was one thing. Maybe he’d go cry in a corner. He might just take the insults, or the beating. 

But today was a bad day on a period. Comments on his chest, name, and everything else…it struck like a knife. 

So he threw a second punch.

***

When Virgil woke up, Deceit was softly examining his head. He’d taken his leather, finger-less gloves off and carefully parted Virgil’s hair. 

Virgil groaned softly, his eyes still shut, slipping down on the wall that his back was against. Deceit’s hand carefully moved his bangs from Virgil’s face.

“Hey.” Deceit said softly, pressing his hand into Virgil’s cheek. “How do you feel?”

Virgil forced his eyes open, letting in a bit of light. He saw enough to make out Deceit’s face. His sharp cheekbones, the shiny burn on his face…

He closed them again. “Great,” he mumbled, “Just great.”

“Virgil,” Deceit said, his voice turning stern, “I need you to open your eyes.” 

Virgil groaned in response.

Deceit let his hand fall to Virgil’s, and he gripped it tightly. “Virgil, I need to make sure you’re okay. Darling, tell me how you feel.”

“I–” For the first time since waking up, Virgil registered the pain in every spot of his body. Bruises, cuts, and soreness. He felt chilled in the cold fall air, and realized his clothes were wet. It’s rained. “It hurts.” He opened his eyes, noticing blood on Deceit’s hand.

“Sweetie, where does it hurt?”

“I–uh, everywhere.”

Deceit chuckled, but his voice was restrained. Deceit offered a hand, and Virgil noticed it was shaking. “Can you stand?” Deceit said, a slight tremble in his voice. 

Virgil shrug and gripped Deceit’s hand. Deceit pulled him up, quickly wrapping him in his arms.

“Virgil,” Deceit said, looking into Virgil’s eyes.

“Yeah?”

Deceit spoke softly, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. His voice was full of anger, coldness, and the ability to hurt someone.

“Who did this?”

***

Virgil was not friends with Deceit. He’d barely seen him when he was happy, much less angry. Definitely not like this. He was gripping Virgil’s hand with intimidating pressure. His strides were quick and purposeful.

“W-where are we going?”

“You, darling, are going home.”

As they walked, Deceit pulled Virgil close to him, keeping an eye on him no matter what. Deceit had been to Virgil’s house only a few times, mainly to return DVDs and books that Virgil had lent him. However, one time Virgil’s parents had pressured him to invite Deceit for dinner. That was the longest conversation the two had ever had. 

If Virgil was honest, he barely remembered making it home. He could barely picture the door to his house. Before he knew it, he was laying in his bed. Deceit’s hand carefully traced his face.

Deceit lightly pressed on Virgil’s face, and he felt a sharp pain. He winced. 

“Did that hurt?” Deceit asked.

Virgil nodded.

“Can you take off your hoodie? I want to check for wounds.”

Virgil groaned, carefully pulling off his hoodie to reveal several bruises. His skinny frame seemed fragile.

“I’ll be right back, love, I’m going to get a washcloth.”

Virgil stared up at the ceiling as Deceit walked out of the room. He traced his face where Deceit had touched it. He slipped far into his bed, pulling up the covers. 

Today was a terrible day.

When Deceit came back, he carefully sat beside Virgil. He carefully wiped his face with a warm, wet cloth. “You’ve got blood on your face.” 

Virgil nodded. He felt Deceit carefully wipe a part of his forehead.

“The cut doesn’t look too bad. Nothing a bandage can’t fix.” 

Deceit’s small crack of humor didn’t hide the layers of anger and concern in his voice. Virgil didn’t know Deceit very well, but he did know him enough to recognize this wasn’t normal for him.

Deceit tenderly picked up Virgil’s hand.

“Hey, do you mind telling me what happened?”

“Mm.” Virgil said, his mouth closed tightly. 

Deceit’s hand tightened. “Who… did this to you?”

On one hand, Virgil was a petty bitch, and could rant on and on about Zack and his “gang”, the bunch of worthless drug dealers and wannabe-gang members. But on the other hand, this could go a few different ways if he did tell Deceit.

Maybe he would do nothing but mutter a curse under his breath, but maybe he would do something. And that would either get him beaten up, or if he managed to take on Zack, then they’d just go beat up Virgil for snitching.

But of course, Virgil’s thought was immediately fuck it.

“Zack. And his gang. Transphobic wrecks.” Virgil said plainly. 

Deceit’s hand tightened, but less in a reassuring way. No, this was more along the lines of anger. Seething anger.

“Hey hey, um.” Virgil’s eyebrow was lightly raised.

“Yeah?” Asked Deceit, clearly holding back.

“Don’t do anything… stupid? Okay?”

Deceit nodded, but it was insincere. He wasn’t paying attention, it was clear.

***

There was a bit of clearing up with Virgil’s parents when they got home, but Deceit managed to convince them to let him stay the night. 

Virgil had woken up to Deceit curled up on a blanket by his bed. The two ate a breakfast of cereal together and soon left the house together.

As they approached the school, Deceit grabbed Virgil’s hand. He felt a light blush rise in his cheeks.

They went through the day as normal (Although Deceit did sit a little closer to Virgil at lunch.) and soon the two were walking out of the school.

The day was, like yesterday, gloomy and cold. Virgil soon felt a raindrop as the two teenagers made their way across the concrete. 

Then came Zack. 

Virgil wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but it probably wasn’t for Deceit to fling off his leather jacket to expose his black tank top to the world. He definitely wasn’t expecting him to be ripped.

Virgil blushed as Deceit handed him his jacket.

“Hold that, I’ve got some business to deal with.” Deceit’s face was cold and determined. It was kind of hot, if Virgil was honest.

“You should probably… not.”

It was as if Virgil’s words didn’t even touch Deceit as he shouted out. “Yo, motherfucker.”

Zack spun around.

“Yeah, bitch, I’m talking to you.”

Zack motioned to his gang and walked towards Deceit.

It was at that moment that Virgil realized how intimidating Deceit was. He was tall and muscular. And hot. Deceit took a few cocky steps towards Zack, remaining nonchalant and cold. 

“Who the fuck are you? What chu want with me? You tryna start a fight?” Zack stood tall (not taller than Deceit) and put on an angry face.

Deceit gestured to me. “You see what you did? Mhm. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Zack put on a sneer, obviously putting his few brain cells to work. “Oh, you tryna take care of your little girl, huh? You think she cute or something?”

Maybe, Zack could have survived if he’d made a homophobic remark. Or insulted Deceit’s scar. But no. He had to misgender Virgil.

Virgil couldn’t tell you what happened, neither could Zack. No one in the area could have.

But it was epic. 

Punches, kicks, even bites and scratches flew everywhere, up, down, left and right. You’d think five teenagers to one would be an easy win for Zack and his gang. That would make sense.

But as Deceit kicked, shoved, beat and destroyed every opponent, it was obvious who had the upper hand.

Virgil, being a gay disaster, could do nothing but watch in awe. 

The last crony fell.

There was Deceit, standing. A touch of blood was on his forehead (not his own) and sweat covered his arms. 

Deceit looked back at Virgil, and smirked.

Virgil, of course, was a blushing mess. As he stared at Deceit, he could swear there was some sort of magic halo around him. He barely could stay on his feet.

Deceit, looking back at the blushing Virgil, felt butterflies rise in his stomach. The normally composed punk felt his face grow warm with a blush.

“Wanna go get ice cream?” Deceit asked, breathing heavily.

“Sure.” Replied Virgil breathlessly, handing back the leather jacket.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik nurturing reader after she found a lump in her breast.

Fluff.

Erik slammed Y/N’s laptop shut for the third time that day. He glared at her for doing this shit when he told her not to panic so they could figure it out. She stood up frantically from the bed and damn near pushed past him but Erik picked her up and sat her on his lap. He circled his large arms around her body to keep her still as she wiggled and complained.

“Why do you keep slamming my laptop shut, Erik?!”

“Because you keep scaring yourself about this lump in your breast. Stop looking up WebMD shit all it does is fuck up your head, baby.”

“Well, I know what I feel on the left side of my breast, Erik. It’s a fucking lump. It’s cancer I know it is-“

“Can you please calm down?” He pleaded, “You’re scaring me now and I’m supposed to protect you, baby girl.”

She turned around in his lap with frantic eyes, “but what if it is a lump? What if I do have breast cancer like my mom and grandmom did?”

“Then we fight.” Erik spoke with a sharp tone. “We fighting that fucking cancer, that’s what we’re going to do.”

She sighs, “Erik, this is why I check my breasts everyday. This shit is hereditary. I’ve lost so many aunts to this.”

“Shhh,” Erik spoke softly, “We won’t know what we need to do until tomorrow. Let’s relax. Let me give you a bath and make you some food and cuddle you in my arms until you fall asleep on me.”

“I don’t think I can wait that long,” her eyes trailed to her laptop. “It’s making me even more worried.”

“Y/N, baby, we got this, alright? It’s me and you. We’re gonna walk in that mammo office tomorrow and whatever happens we’ll ride it out. I’m not loosing you to no fucking cancer.”

“Gosh, okay,” she gave in and kissed Erik’s forehead, “I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, beautiful.”

——

She waited after getting her left Brest smushed painfully by the mammography technician. She was fully dressed and sitting in the waiting room surrounded by older women. She was so young and didn’t think she would ever go through anything like this. Erik scrolled through Instagram while his fingers were intertwined with hers. He would look over at her from time to time and give her a warm encouraging smile before planting a kiss to her cheek. He was so patient with her. She yelled at him and all Erik would do was sooth her. If he weren’t here right now Y/N wouldn’t be able to last through this process.

“Y/N?” Her Primary Care Physician, Dr. Patel came out to the waiting room for her. Y/N and Erik both stood up and followed the Doctor to exam room. There, Erik sat on a chair in the corner while Y/N sat on the edge of the exam bed. Dr. Patel had paper work in her hand and a soft smile on her face. Y/N knew it was a professional smile. She had a feeling something was wrong.

“Okay,” The Doctor made eye contact with Y/N, “The Radiologist sent over the mammography images. They found an abnormal lump in your left breast surrounded by calcifications. We believe that you have cancerous tissue in your left breast Miss Y/N and we suggest that you follow through with a needle localization exam followed by a biopsy.”

Dr. Patel didn’t take one breath when she spoke to Y/N Erik was up on his feet and next to Y/N in a blink of an eye. He squeezed her shoulders and pressed his body into hers acting as a shield to protect her. His girl was breaking down.

“W-what? How bad?”

“It’s quite early actually. If we get on board now it won’t spread and cause more problems. I assure you, Miss Y/N, this is the best recommendation now.”

“But there is no guarantee that it won’t grow back.”

“No. But attacking the area now will prevent that.”

“This is...this is too much. I’m only 29 years old.”

“There have been cases with women years younger than you with breast cancer. It’s not uncommon. But, we strive to change that.”

Y/N shook her her head, “I want to see my x-rays.”

“Of course,” Dr. Patel opened a folder, pulling out the films, “this is what they found.”

Erik grabbed the images from Dr. Patel and held them up to the light so Y/N could see. Sure enough, there was this abnormal area surrounded by blood vessels and white spots that Y/N assumed was the calcifications.

“Would you like to keep those?” Dr. Patel asked.

“Yes.” She spoke slowly.

“Alright. Your next appointment for the placement of the clip for needle localization is set for next Monday. I have perscribed some medications for you to help with any further developments before you get here. Everything about the exam will be explained to you before we get started. Any more questions?”

Y/N asked Dr. Patel about the biopsy and what was in store for her afterward. They would need to take more than her unhealthy breast tissue. That means her breast would be practically gone. After they left the hospital Y/N was quiet the rest of the evening. She didn’t want to watch movies or eat the meal Erik cooked for her. Her mind could not wrap around the fact that she had breast cancer. She planned on telling her family the next day so that she could absorb this information. Erik gave her the space she needed but he was still at arms reach. He believed that she would be alright. Secretly, Erik shopped online for Breast Cancer Awareness items to boost her confidence. He found a shirt she would like that read Fight Like A Girl in pink lettering, the R in the girl making the breast cancer logo with boxing gloves . He also purchased a charm bracelet, a hoodie, and some earrings. They were going to fight this together.

——

Days passed and Y/N was ready for her biopsy. Her mother, father, sister, and Erik all came to support her. She was currently having her needle localization done so that the surgeon for the biopsy would know where to locate the cancer site. Everyone was so calm and confident that she would be alright. They all said a prayer before she was taken into the exam room with the mammography technician and the Radiologist. When the doors opened and Y/N came out in a wheel chair Erik shot up out of his seat and rushed to her side.

“What the hell happened?” She didn’t need a wheel chair after this exam.

“Erik, it’s alright. I just fainted from seeing the needle in my breast. Jamie told me too look away but of course, my curiosity got the best of me and I saw a needle sticking out of my tit with some blood.”

Y/N chuckled causing Jamie to laugh too. Erik relaxed completely when he saw her smiling. Whatever Jamie said to her in that room changed Y/N’s outlook with this situation. Her family gave her kisses and words of encouragement as they all followed the tech down to PREOP.

“Family waiting room is here but if someone would like to go back with her before the procedure then you are more than welcome.”

“Erik, can you come with me?”

Erik didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes but there didn’t seem to be a problem from her family. After saying their goodbyes her family went to wait for them and Erik followed his girl to PREOP. Once there they met her nurse for the procedure and basically they explained the procedure again. Erik just wanted to speak to her alone but he understood that she had a lot of questions. Her procedure would be happening in about an hour and finally he was able to be left alone with her for a little while.

“Hey, babygirl,” Erik grabbed her hand, “You good?”

“Better than I was before I came here,” she admitted, “everyone are so nice and supportive.”

“I wanna show you something,” Erik pulled out the T-shirt that he purchased for her. I was gonna save this with the other stuff for after the surgery but I can’t help myself.”

“ERIK OH MY GOD!” She beamed at him before grabbing the shirt from him. Erik laughed at her wide goofy smile. He knew she would love it.

“It’s perfect, babe. It’s so special,” she pouted, “You’re gonna make me cry and I wasn’t tryna do that.”

“Hey,” Erik wiped her eyes. She was crying with that shirt in her hands. Erik got up to give her a kiss. He trailed those kissed around her face while his girl cried softly against him.

“This is so beautiful, baby.”

“You’re so beautiful. The surgery is gonna go well and you’ll be a survivor.”

“I can’t wait to get out of here I don’t want to go in there without you.”

Erik smiles, “I’ll be right out there with your fam. After that we can eat and celebrate.”

“Nothing too rough,” she joked.

“I can live with that,” He spoke with a chuckle.

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[spookysprincesa]

Finally (Oscar Diaz x reader)

Request: Hiya! Idk if this is a dumb idea but maybe the reader & Oscar get into a fight because she finds out about that she was claimed by him, when Monse goes to confront Cesar, & she ends up being upset w/ him, & him tryna win her back?? Please & thank you!i love your writing!

Word Count: 2007

A/N: took me once again decades to write, sorry.

Masterlist

*

There was no stopping her. Like a fury Monse marched onto the Diaz‘ front porch and before anyone could interfere she grabbed Cesar by the collar of his shirt so fiercely he helplessly tripped over his own two feet and stumbled to the ground.

Woah.

She was screaming at him, slapping him in the face while the poor boy tried covering himself with his hands. You just stood there, watching her, without any clue how to dissolve the situation. Oscar’s homies started howling and snickering at how his little brother was being beaten up by a girl.

“Yo Spooky, better tell your ruca to stop her little friend before lil’ Spooky gets seriously hurt!” One of the Santos jokingly yelled in Oscar’s direction; he was sitting on top of the stairs smoking a joint while a big smile plastered on his face.

Your head span around to the man who had been talking, and with your eyebrows furrowed you found Oscar’s deep brown eyes, which were staring right at you.

“What the fuck did he just say?” With your hands in your hips, you waited for Oscar to hop of the wall and approach you, handing the joint to Cesar, who seemed to be in a much better condition now that Monse’s friends had dragged her off of him.

“Princesa, listen,” Oscar began, raising his hands in defeat, “I practically had to claim you, a’ight?”

This was all going too fast for you to process- Oscar had just gotten out of jail a couple of weeks ago and you hadn’t really talked to him since then, apart from some random encounters on parties. And how he was telling you he had claimed you?

“You don’t have to do shit, Oscar Diaz, let alone decide things over my head. This is bullshit.” And with those barked words, you marched off past the Santos and the kids, ready to head home.

What was he thinking? Kicking some pebbles on the pavement, you slowly walked down your road, ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket with incoming text messages and calls from Oscar. You liked him, sure you did, but claiming you out of nowhere wasn’t going to work, he would have to try harder.

THE NEXT DAY

Stepping out of the building, the sunshine was hitting your eyes so hard you had to narrow them frantically, cursing yourself for not bringing your sunglasses this morning. The bright light prevented you from noticing the shiny red car parked right in front of you, which you only spotted when you strutted right past it.  

“Princesa,” a dark, familiar male voice called after you. Your first reflex was to stop walking, but you quickly decided to keep your pace. Suddenly a hand grabbed your arm gently, pulling you to a halt. Sighing, you turned on your heels to look directly into Oscar’s deep brown eyes. The prettiest, most promising eyes in the world, holding adoration and softness at this very moment, reserved only for you.

“What?” You decided to play it cool, so your crossed your arms in front of your chest and expectantly rose one eyebrow.

“I miss you. Why don’t you come hang around with us tonight?”

The thought of sitting on a worn out sofa in the front yard of a ruinous gang residence repelled you more than you would have estimated right now.

“No, thank you,” you replied simply, without giving him any explanation whatsoever.

Oscar frowned, the thoughts in his brain were almost visible to you as he was digging for something to say, which was appropriate but also snappy.

“Let me drive you home at least. I owe you.” He looked surprisingly regretful for a second- therefore your shields dropped instantly and your expression softened without noticing or even intending it.

“Damn right you owe me,” you giggled, “but you’re taking me straight to my place. No detours.”

Looking into Oscar’s eyes, an unmistakable sparkle appeared in them at your words. One corner of his mouth turned upwards, “your wish is my command.”

Like the gentleman he could be, he even opened the car door for you and hopped in beside you.

The car ride to your place was astonishingly calm and relaxed. You shared a deep conversation about Oscar’s last few weeks in jail, how he had made lists with what to do first when he’d get out, what to eat, which people to see. You had always admired how passionate he was about things he liked, or things he was good at, he could be so mature and considerate in certain moments.

When his car pulled up on your driveway you were honestly sad about having to leave him. Part of you wanted to invite him inside, but your head eventually stopped you. If he came inside, you’d sit on his lap with his hands under your shirt in no time and you’d probably regret it the morning after. As much as you wanted those puffy lips pressed to yours, those strong hands stroking your bare skin, you had to maintain a distance. If he wanted to be with you, he’d have to make some more effort.

“I’d like to take you out. Like, on a date,” Oscar said suddenly with a bold voice, as if he had practiced that line in front of a mirror at home. Your hand slipped from the door handle you were about to use and fell back into your lap. For a minute, you just stared at him with your mouth agape.

“What would we do?” You asked, trying to ignore the heavy beating of your heart against your chest.

“Lemme take care of that. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 7, yeah?”

Automatically, your face broke into a gigantic smile.

“Ok. See you tomorrow then.”

Oscar smiled back at you with those dimples you fell in love with the first time you saw him.

24 hours later, his red Impala was parked in your driveway punctually. After spending hours deciding what to wear, you were finally ready to face him, ready to go on a date with him. You were so curious about what he had planned you hadn’t even been able to focus on anything for the whole day. A trip to the beach? Dinner? Drinks?

You and Oscar instantly connected once you sat in his car. It’s like you had never left. While he drove down the highway, you tried figuring out where he was taking you, and he eventually noticed.

“Don’t you trust me, princesa?” He chuckled lowly with his eyes still on the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other one casually resting in the open window.

“I do, I’m just so impatient. Can’t you give me a clue?”

Oscar chuckled once more at you fidgeting in your seat and determinedly shook his head.

“I promise you’ll like it.”

Reluctantly, you accepted his response and sank back in your seat.

After fifteen more minutes, he finally pulled into an unfamiliar parking lot somewhere in LA. While you looked around for any signs, Oscar took a bag out of the trunk and looked at you with a big, superior grin on his face.

“You hate not knowing, eh?”

When you threw him a dirty look, he grabbed your hand in his without saying a word, as if it was the most normal thing in the world for you two. The second his fingers were entwined with yours, jolts of electricity ran down your spine, covering you in goosebumps. You were loving this date already.

Oscar lead the way to a huge building where you had to take the elevator to the top floor. When he opened another door, at long last you could see what you were going to do. He had taken you to a rooftop outdoor movie screening. Chairs were filled with people of all ages, eating popcorn, enjoying their drinks, chatting and cuddling.

Oscar’s hand found its way to your lower back and he ever so gently pushed you in the direction of a cosy looking loveseat than had apparently been reserved for you two.

You sat down, happily discovering that Oscar had brought a wide selection of snacks from popcorn to cheese. Of course he wasn’t willing to tell you which movie you would be seeing, this all being a surprise, so you nearly freaked out when the opening scene of your favourite movie ever was being shown on the huge screen in front of you. Oscar had remembered so much about you, so many details you could’ve sworn weren’t interesting or even important to him.

During the movie neither of you spoke, he did just move his arm so it comfortably rested on your shoulders. His fingertips gingerly drew figures on your upper arm, it felt so soothing your head  automatically dropped onto his shoulder. It felt wonderful sitting there with him- you almost forgot where you were, surrounded by hundreds of people on a rooftop in LA. At the same time it could’ve been the sofa in his living-room since all you could think about were his gentle touches and the masculine smell of his cologne.

When the movie eventually came to an end, you sighed with disappointment, not wanting this date to stop so soon. You pressed your body even closer against Oscar’s side to non-verbally show him.

Oscar moved slightly and brought his free hand to your cheek to carefully turn your face in his direction. His full lips were suddenly so close it was overwhelming, and before you knew it his nose was touching yours. Your eyes fluttered shut when he brushed his lips against yours. The situation carried a kind of intimacy you would’ve never expected, the short and sweet kiss perfectly explained his feelings towards you, all the hints he had dropped before by wanting to be around you, claiming you and finally asking you out. His lips on yours felt heavenly and you thought your whole body was set on fire by that one simple touch.

Oscar pulled away since the other movie guests were getting up to leave the rooftop. Unwillingly, you parted from your embrace and collected all your belongings. Somehow your cheeks were burning and you had problems looking Oscar in the eye, sheepishly staring at your feet. His presence was immensely intense, especially after that short, but hot kiss.

“Princesa, mírame,” he whispered and lifted you chin up with his index finger. The loving sparkle in his eyes was back, “you alright?”

You smiled wordlessly, giving him a brief nod in response.

“Sure?” His eyebrows moved towards each other and his hand now cupped your cheek. Sighing, you leant into it, enjoying the warmth of his hand. Oscar lifted his free hand and pulled you to his chest, completely wrapping his arms around your frame. You hugged him back tightly, not ever wanting to let go.

“Let’s get you home,” he muttered before pressing a kiss to your temple.

He didn’t let go of your hand for one single second until you reached his car, thumb rubbing circles on your skin. When you were sat in his car again, Oscar announced that he would be stealing lots of kisses from you in the future and immediately showed you what he meant by pulling you close and capturing your lips with his. Once again your whole body was burning up, already vividly anticipating feeling those lips on other body parts.

He walked you to your front door and kissed you goodbye, this time letting his lips linger for a couple more moments, yet it still left you wanting more.

“I apologize for the claim, by the way. I hope you’re not mad anymore.” He nervously rubbed the back of his head.

You chuckled, placing a soothing hand on his chest, “it’s fine. I think I like being claimed now.”

Oscar let out a deep, hearty laugh at your reply, his chest vibrating, “good.”

The last final kiss for tonight was short and sweet, just like the first.

[yukiwrites]

Edelgard, Comforted

Thanks for the support once again, @xpegasusuniverse! It was really fun to work on this unlikely duo!

This is a Support Chain C-A between Raphael and Edelgard!

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

C SUPPORT

Raphael: Huff! *thud* There ya go! A pile of new books, special delivery from Raphael!

Man: Thank you so much for carrying that mountain of books from the old storeroom, Raphael. You did it in one trip, too! I never saw someone carry so many books at once.

Raphael: Haha, no need to thank me! My muscles love to help folks with heavy lifting!

Man: W-well then, thank you, Raphael’s, uh, muscles. I’ll need to file these now, if you’ll excuse me…

Raphael: Sure! My pleasure!

Raphael: Man, I’m really not used to coming here like I should… I can already hear the Professor telling me to study… or my classmates… Maybe I could look for something- huh? Is that Edelgard over there?

Edelgard, on her own: It seems I chose the worst time to browse the library. No empty ladders in sight.

Raphael: Hey there, Edelgard! You look troubled; are the books giving you a headache too?

Edelgard: Ah, Raphael, hello. I suppose you could say that. As you can see, all ladders are either occupied by other students or out of service and the book I seek is quite out of my reach. I do not think even Hubert would be able to get it if he were here...

Raphael: Oh, book searching? I just helped the library guy here with that! Leave it to me! Is that the one with the red cover you wanted?

Edelgard: Hm, if you would not mind to aid me, then I will accept the help. Yes, it is the one with the red cover. Perhaps if I could read the title of the others beside it, I would ask for more, however, as it stands...

Raphael: Hrrrmmmm…!! Hrrrrm! Oh, wow, this is really high! Even my feet muscles can’t make me reach ‘em!

Edelgard: So he wasn’t listening to me. Oh well.

Edelgard: Raphael? Thank you for offering to help, I will simply return at a quieter time to-

Raphael: No no, wait, I got it! You can just sit on my shoulders!

Edelgard: What are you imply- wai- unhand me- agh!

Raphael: You’re as light as you look, Edelgard! You should eat more if you wanna grow up big like Big Bro Raphael!

Edelgard: I’ll- thank you if-agh! Keep steady, I am losing my balance-

Raphael: Whoa, there, I gotcha, Edelgard! Take your time!

Edelgard: I-I have gotten the books; let me down this instant, please.

Raphael: Alleyoop, there you go! That wasn’t so bad, was it? And you got more than one, too!

Edelgard, blushing: I do not know if I should be thankful that everyone seems to be minding their own business or not.

Edelgard: Anyway, I will not let a favor go without a word of thanks. So I thank you for your assistance, Raphael. As rough and sudden as it may have been.

Raphael: You’re welcome! You can always ask Big Bro Raph for help!

Edelgard: ...

Raphael: Huh? Did I say something wrong? Wait! I get it! I did it again, didn’t I? Sorry I just put you on my shoulders like that! It was a force of habit from trying to help my hard-headed little sis!

Edelgard: I suppose you did not notice you were also patting my head just now?

Raphael: Whoa, was I? I guess you remind me of my little sis more than I thought! Sorry about that.

Edelgard: …

Edelgard: It was… fine. It was a refreshing feeling to be treated like a little sister again after so long. Thank you once again for your help, Raphael. Now I need to check these out, if you’ll excuse me.

Raphael: Sure, no prob! You can always rely on Big Bro Ralph, though, alright? Me ‘n’ my muscles will be there to help anytime you need!

Raphael leaves.

Edelgard: Big brother, huh…

B SUPPORT

Raphael: I’m glad Ms. Cook is such a nice lady, she always leaves something on top of the kitchen table for me! Yum, that was a great midnight snack, so now I can sleep like a log to get even stronger tomorrow!

Raphael: Huh? Is that a person over there? Who’s wandering ‘round the pond at this hour? Maybe they’re tryna fish? But don’t fish sleep, too? I don’t think they’d bite… Unless they’re looking for a midnight snack like me, haha!

Edelgard, on her own: ....

Raphael: Hey, it’s Edelgard!

Raphael approaches.

Raphael: Edelgard! What’re you doing up so late? Wait, you look pale, even more than usual! Is that the moonlight or did you eat something bad and got a stomach ache?

Edelgard: Hello there again, Raphael. *sighs* It would have been better if it were a simple stomach ache. As it stands, it was just a bad dream.

Raphael: Oh, alright. So you can’t sleep, huh?

Edelgard: To simplify it, yes.

Raphael: That sucks. I hate it when I can’t sleep.

Raphael: You know what? Take this and this here too. Ms. Cook always leaves me food so I got some to eat on my way back to my room, too.

Edelgard: Are these… cupcakes? As I recall, the dining hall is closed after curfew.

Raphael: Yeah! You like sweets, right? I sometimes see you smiling all to yourself when we’re havin’ sweets week!

Edelgard: Do I now…? How discomposing. And here I thought I kept my emotions in check.

Raphael: It’s fine! I’m sure only people who eat lots like me noticed! Anyway, I always get a real good sleep after eating, so you should eat those and head straight to bed!

Edelgard, smiling: Thank you, Raphael. It seems you are turning out to be most helpful to me as of late.

Raphael: Aw, it’s no problem! Like I said, you can always rely on Big Bro Ralph!

Raphael: I know! If you don’t wanna go all the way back upstairs, why not just crash in my room? You can keep the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor. With how delicious Ms. Cook’s midnight snacks are, I’m sure we’ll be out real soon.

Edelgard: To your… room?

Raphael: Yeah, it’s really over there, I think if you twitch your head a lil’ you can see it from here! I love sleeping so close to the dining hall!

Raphael: Besides, whenever my little sis had a nightmare, she’d come sleep in my room and she’d always have the biggest of smiles the next day! She said I ‘attract good dreams’ or something. She dreamed of eating a cloud one night after having a nightmare so scary she had spent a long time crying! I wish I had dreamed of eating a cloud… I wonder what they taste like.

Edelgard, smiling: I assume they must be sweet. Though perhaps not as much as these cupcakes.

Edelgard: …

Edelgard: If you would not mind, Raphael, I would accept your invitation. It would be a wonderful change of pace to dream of sweets.

Raphael: Alright! Then let’s roll, ‘cause I’m already getting sleepy and I still got some food left to finish!

B+ SUPPORT

Edelgard: You can do it if you want to, Raphael. I must admit I am impressed.

Raphael: You think so? I’m surprised I got that answer right, too! The Professor really is good at what they’re doing if even doing brain stuff is working out for me!

Edelgard: The Professor does have credit for having a comprehensible teaching style, but it is your merit for getting the right answer. Do not undermine your achievements, no matter how small they may seem at the moment.

Raphael: You know what, you’re right! This time I flexed my brain and it worked! Go, brain!

Edelgard, smiling: …

Raphael: I wonder if it would be like this if my little sis were here, too. She’s always been the smart one, you know? She’d be grilling me out along with everyone else, but I think she’d help me just like you are, Edelgard.

Edelgard: Do I remind you of your little sister so much? I noticed she is basically all you talk about after food and training.

Raphael: Hmm, maybe you don’t look so much alike ‘cause you’re more composed, you know? Guess it’s ‘cause you’re a princess and all. But if you weren’t, I think you two’d be like two peas in a pod!

Edelgard: Indeed. I must keep my composure at all times so I can shoulder all that I am meant to have in the future.

Edelgard: And yet, I feel a strange compulsion to allow myself to be vulnerable whenever we are together. I wonder if it is because of your familiarity.

Raphael: Well, I’m nothing if not approachable! And I told you ‘fore, didn’t I? You can rely on me like I’m your Big Brother! I know I wouldn’t mind having another little sis if she were anythin’ like you.

Edelgard: You regard me as family…? Truly?

Raphael: Well, yeah! I’m not asking you to do the same, but if you wanna, I’ll be your Big Bro for the day. Heck, for as long as you need me!

Edelgard: That is… something I have never heard someone say to me before, Raphael. I cannot put it to words on how I feel about this, other than that I DO want to take you up on your offer.

Raphael: Knock yourself out! What can Big Bro Raph do for you today?

Edelgard: It is… Ah, it is rather hard to talk about, now that I actually want to.

Raphael: It’s okay, I know how to keep a secret! Honest. One time, my little sis broke our Mom’s favorite vase when she was realll little, but I told Mom I was the one who broke it ‘cause Maya was looking so sad about it all. They never found out!

Edelgard, smiling: I’m afraid that what I am about to disclose is not as ordinary as that. Can you truly swear to never say this to a soul? Promise on your life?

Raphael: Sounds serious, but don’t worry, Edelgard. I wouldn’t make anything to make my little sis look sad. I promise I won’t tell anyone!

Edelgard: I appreciate it, Raphael. In truth, this is about the nightmare that kept me up the other day, as well as its roots…

Raphael, nodding: Yeah. I’m listenin’.

Edelgard: I have, so often I have almost forgotten how it was to have a restful night of sleep, persistent nightmares that make me relive the past. A past of seeing my older and younger siblings beg for their lives while people cut open their flesh and insert things within their bodies. A past of a gagged me helplessly struggling to be set free of the tight chains that have never truly healed.

Raphael: Your wrists…! Is that why you’re always covered from head to toe?

Edelgard: Scars from a past that refuses to leave me; nightmares that drown out happy times I may have lived with my siblings. They were all full of hope and dreams, Raphael. And they were robbed of it all; robbed of their future by people who simply wanted more and more power.

Edelgard: So this Edelgard von Hresvelg was born, at the cost of my siblings’ lives and my memories of happier times. The only one who remained to change this rotten world, to-

Raphael: Hey, it’s alright. You don’t need to go on while you’re crying like this. Come here.

Edelgard: Crying…? I am? I thought I was beyond that by now; that my tears have all dried.

Raphael: You’re gonna be alright, Edelgard. I can’t do anything to change the past, but I’m gonna get stronger than anyone else and I’m gonna be right there to protect you in place of your brothers who couldn’t.

Edelgard: T-thank you, Raphael, for your kindness. And your warmth.

Raphael: No need to thank me, little sis. These arms were made for huggin’!

Edelgard, smiling: Indeed…

A SUPPORT

Raphael: Hngh… Oomph… Hhngh… oomph! Just one more time…! Hngh… Oomph! There!

Crashing sound.

Raphael: Phew! Those logs sure were heavy, but now I can feel my muscles bulging! I’m gonna be even stronger now!

Edelgard, smiling: (Made for hugging. Right.)

Raphael: Oh! I didn’t see you there, Edelgard! Need something? I was just going to the dining hall. I’m starving, I gotta feed my muscles while they’re bulging. Wanna come with?

Edelgard: I was about to invite you to come with me, so yes.

Raphael: Really? Well, alright, then! Food tastes better when you’re eating with someone else, I always say!

Scene changes to the Dining Hall.

Raphael: *munch munch* You’re eating so little! Here, have a bit of mine! That’s why you didn’t grow at all during these years! C’mon, eat more!

Edelgard: I have had my fill, Raphael, thank you. Besides, I wanted to ask you something. But perhaps after you do not have food all over yourself.

Raphael: Huh? I’m only getting started! C’mon, ask anything you want! Today’s meat is so good I think I’ll just stay here and eat till it’s breakfast again!

Edelgard: Heh, very well then. I wanted to ask the reason why you allied yourself with the Empire even though that meant war against the Alliance where you were born. Oftentimes you’ve mentioned how much you enjoyed the village you grew up in.

Raphael: *snarfs* Hm? But that’s easy! My village is in the territory of a noble who’s on the side of the Empire, so we never really needed to attack it. ‘Sides, Claude’s doing a good job of holding everyone together in the Alliance, so I’m not worried ‘bout my little sis back there. And since I was worried ‘bout THIS little sis here, I had to come with to protect her!

Edelgard, surprised: ...

Raphael: *munch munch* You okay? You stopped eating.

Edelgard: I am… astonished. Are you truly keeping your promise from when we were students? And still seeing me as your little sister?

Raphael: Muh? Aren’t you? I said I’d always help you out as your brother, so if you don’t see me as a Big Bro anymore, that’s fine by me. I’ll still stay by your side to protect you, though! It’s kinda like my duty now, you know?

Edelgard: I… see. That is very kind of you, Raphael, as I remember I keep mentioning.

Raphael: *slurp* Nah, it’s fine. I really just want to help you however I can ‘cause I wanna protect your future. I can’t do anything ‘bout your past but I can always offer up my hugging muscles! See? Hrrk! They’re in top form today!

Edelgard, smiling: As always, I see.

Edelgard: I appreciate everything you do, Raphael. Once again, allow me to thank you.

Raphael: No problem! Now, you gonna eat that or not? Oh, I can ask Ms. Cook to bring out those cupcakes you like!

Edelgard: That would be lovely.

[disasterdeacy]

Lavender Knots

A/N: somehow managed to get this up 4 hours before I said that I would! I’m gonna keep this AN short, but I do want to tell everyone that your recent love and support and messages have meant the world to me, and interacting with y’all has made me smile SO DAMN MUCH! Ilysm <3 Pairing: Present Day!Brian May x Young Reader Word Count: 17.7k (Its 40 pages on word lol how do you write small things?) Summary: The media is cruel, and while Y/N can deal with the pressures and nasty words, Brian doesn’t want her to have to... so, he decides to try and help her, by breaking up with her.  Warnings: A N G S T (soz), Fluff (i’m not a sadist), Smut (oh boy its nasty), Age Gap, mentions of mortality, mentions of suicidal thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it unless you’re tryna get Bri to give you a baby, in which case, you do you sis), Major FDA Violations.

Throwing down the copy of the daily mail onto your office desk with a huff, you slump in your seat, groaning and picking up your phone to see 2 text messages from Brian. What usually would’ve made your face light up with a smile makes you frown. Since the two of you had started dating 5 months previous, Brian had completely changed your life for the better. You’d practically moved in together after 2 months, not wanting to be apart for a single moment of the time that you had together. Your family and friends had accepted the relationship with mild confusion, but once they saw how much you smiled when Brian was beside you, they understood exactly how you both felt about one another and never said an ill word about the relationship. Surprisingly, Brian’s kids had been very supportive as well, they had been slightly off putting at first, but after an emergency grandkid sleepover, the 3 May children decided you were as incredible a person their father could find, welcoming into the May family with open arms. The media however... had been less than friendly. Which is why today’s Daily Mail article wasn’t exactly a surprise, yet still managed to burn a bit. No woman wants to be called, in not so harsh words, a gold digging whore, for holding her boyfriend’s hand. And based on the text messages that Brian had sent, he wasn’t taking it too well, asking if you would come to his place immediately after work. A nervous pit formed in your stomach upon receiving the message, and stayed there the remainder of the day until you arrived back at his home around 5.

“Bri? Love...” You sit your bag down, wringing your hands as you walk along the foyer, confusion etched on your face; usually Brian was waiting for you at the door.

 “In here, Y/N...” He calls from the living room. He was pacing back and forth by the fireplace for what seemed like hours now, feeling sick to his stomach. He’d been thinking all day after seeing the article—articleS. They were never ending it seemed. He’d tried to ignore them at first but.... they were starting to make sense. Who was he to hold you back the way he was? To tie you down in the worst way? He was old, ancient, dated; he couldn’t give you children, give you lifelong support and stability, couldn’t provide for you. Yes, that last thought alone was proof of how old he was, but... still. Even if you could provide for yourself financially (he had no doubts about that)—a relationship was supposed to be a partnership. Was supposed to be about helping and supporting and fulfilling one another. Any day now could be his last. Perhaps that was being a bit dramatic, but in all honesty? It wasn’t too far from the truth. How long did he have left before he lost mobility, lost his mental state, lost HIMSELF?

And you’d be stuck with him. No. No, he wouldn’t do that to you. He couldn’t. The thought was unbearable. Smiling a little when you hear his voice coming from the living room, you quickly head in there as soon as you’ve taken your shoes off. “There you are, I was beginning to think you’d ran off.”

Trekking over to him, you move to wrap your arms around him like you did every single day, only to have him flinch away and turn towards the fire, his hand on his chin, eyes glassy with the tell tell sign of unshed tears. The action sends your  stomach plummeting into your  knees, he’d never been so cold or distant, and every insecurity that you’d buried deep for so long came rushing to the surface.

“B-Bri, what’s wrong?” Your voice sounds pathetic, small, weak, and the complete opposite of your normally cheery and boisterous tone. You reach out for him unconsciously, something you were beginning to do a lot of lately, before realizing what you were doing and holding your arm firm to your side, a cold chill running up your spine despite the heat from the fire. “Please, I-I just.. you’re scaring me...”

He swallows hard, closing his eyes a little, but regretting the movement when tears spill down his cheeks. He doesn’t try to wipe them away—the least he can give you right now are his true emotions

“Y/N, I think... I think maybe we should—should take a step back. From things.”

God, he was pathetic. He couldn’t even say it. Couldn’t even give it to you straight. He loved you so much—this was the last thing he wanted! But he wasn’t good for you. That old cliché “if you love something, let it go?”. He never thought it was true. But... maybe in this situation, it was… In your relatively short life, you’d never had to experience something that had the potential to break your heart, never been subjected to a time when you could physically feel your insides disintegrating, so you didn’t know how it felt.. not until Brian’s words sunk in.

“W-what do you mean take a s-step back.. Bri..” Your hands were shaking, hell your whole body was shaking, you knew what he meant, you knew what he was saying, you just…didn’t want to believe it.

“Y-you’re not... Brian, you can’t do this…” Your voice is heavy and choked with tears, every feeling you’d been subjected to over the past 5 months was crashing through you like a goddamn cannonball, and it wasn’t a good feeling. Everything had been for nothing..

“D-do you j-just not love me? Is that it? Did y-you... was all of this a lie” You can’t even make it to the couch to sit down, collapsing onto the floor as the weight of the situation takes hold.

Brian is  shaking himself. He’s scared to touch you—scared of how you’ll react, of how HE’LL react. So he slowly sinks down to the floor next to you, sitting there, utterly defeated.

“I do love you. I love you more than anything else in my life,” His breath hitches; breaks. He tries to keep speaking.

“I love you more than anyone I’ve ever—" More tears fall, and he stares at his trembling hands.

“I’m no good for you, Y/N. Who are we—who are we kidding? You need someone else. You need things I can’t g-give you. You’re going to be 30, taking care of your boyfriend who can’t walk, can’t think for himself—will I even live to see you reach 40? Do you want to be a 40 year old woman tied down to a 91 year old?? How is that... how is this...”

His voice cuts out, and when he speaks again, it’s more than obvious how much pain he’s in.

“How could I do that to you? How could I let myself just... burden you?”

You can’t even look at him, hurt, betrayal, anger, sadness, goddamn near every emotion is washing through you now, taking your heart and smashing it against a rock. I want to be rational, to talk this out with him, to be an adult… It was obvious that he didn’t want this, that his heart was breaking just as much, if not more, that your’s…but you were just so goddamn HURT.

“Y-you said you w-would never hurt me Brian, you PROMISED that you w-would never I do a-anything to make me cry, a—" The dam breaks and you’re sobbing, hands moving to cover your face as you draw your knees closer to your chest, just trying to hide yourself away from the world, from your own embarrassment.

“I love you Brian, only I g-get to decide what’s g-good for me! I-I can’t believe you’d do this to me... a-after everything...” You feel horrible, more than horrible, because you know he means well, deep down you know that... but you can’t help it. You’re pissed, you’re hurt, and you’re not looking to spare any feelings, no matter how much you love and care for Brian.

“Fuck you Brian.. goddamnit, I gave you everything I had, and you j-just... I hate you..”

Its immature, not poetic, and certainly not something you’d ever thought you would say to him, but it’s what you were feeling, and those feelings were valid. Before you even know what you’re doing, you’re standing up on shaky legs, basically running to the door, somehow having enough of a mind to grab your purse before walking right back out into the cold London air, your tears nearly freezing against your cheeks.

Brian flinches at your words, a small sob bursting from his chest. He just sits there; why should he stop you? You hated him. You HATED him. The words kept echoing through his mind. He’d been right—he was bad for you. This proved it. He hurt everyone he ever loved. Every time he tried to do the right thing.... He’s suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea, and he fumbles for the wastebin that was luckily over to the side of the wall. As soon as he gets it in his hands, he’s throwing up into it, his stomach emptying itself. He just feels completely numb. He knows he’s still crying but he can barely feel it; can honestly barely feel anything. Not the heat of the fire, not the hard ground below him hurting his legs. All there is in his head is your words. He can’t even fucking move.

You don’t even know how long you’ve walked for, tears streaming down your cheeks. You were hurt, betrayed, gutted, and immensely guilty at what you had said to Brian. He had been through so much in his life, had lost so many people, he didn’t deserve to be told that someone hated him.. he didn’t deserve that from you, not even when he’d hurt you so badly… You knew why he had said what he did, why he wanted to end your relationship, and if you had just stayed and talked it out with him rationally, like an adult, the two of you would’ve been eating dinner together now. But instead, you’re walking up the stairs to Roger’s house, surprise etched onto your face at the fact that your feet had led you to Brian’s best friend’s door. The two of you had developed an incredible relationship over the span of you and Bri’s, and you knew that you could come to him if anything went wrong, but.. you still felt bad for doing this. When you buzz the gate, he’s outside within 30 seconds, noticing your distraught appearance and quickly ushered you inside, holding you close as he can while you cry. He asks no questions, just comforts you with his embrace before settling you into a guest room.

Brian sits on the ground for a long time—until the fire dies down at least. His phone rings several times, and he can see that it’s Roger, but he doesn’t answer. He’s literally just staring off into space. He feels pathetic and shitty and horrible—but he’s not thinking that because he feels that way. He’s thinking it in the sense of being a horrible person. He knows he should get up and brush his teeth and shower and maybe eat something, but it’s like he can’t. He hasn’t felt like this in... well, he knows when. But thinking about that makes everything worse. The thought crosses his mind that he has nothing to live for anymore, but his logical brain knows that’s not true. That it’s just the depression talking. That he still has his kids. His grandkids. Roger. Unless they all take your side. He wouldn’t blame them if they did.

There had never been a moment in your life where you’d cried yourself to sleep as fast as you did that night. As soon as your head had hit the pillow, the floodgates opened again and every horrible emotion you’d felt that day came rushing right back. You were nauseous, throwing up into the toilet of the en-suite bathroom three times before you managed to calm down. You can hear Roger downstairs, and for some reason just knowing that you weren’t alone was comfort enough. You somehow managed to crawl back into bed despite the debilitating pains in your stomach, head, and chest. This was never a situation you’d thought you’d find yourself in, not with Brian, you’d been so strong and sure in the relationship. Sure, you had only been dating for 5 months, it felt like you’d known him your whole life.. you had been waiting for a proposal any day now…but now.. now it was just over. By some miracle, you manage to fall asleep that night without any nightmares, because for once, your reality was scarier than anything your mind could dream up.

When Brian finally hauls himself up off the floor, his joints creak and bones ache. He gets rid of the mess in the wastebin, and heads upstairs to his bedroom. He showers, doing his best not to eye the razor sitting inconspicuously in the corner. He needed to shave, but didn’t want to chance anything. He wouldn’t backslide; not that far. Still, he doesn’t allow himself to eat after his shower is done. It’s some level of self punishment he’ll allow, even if he shouldn’t. His phone is still ringing off the hook so he finally answers. It’s not very polite, his telling Roger to fuck right off and stop calling him. He knows he sounds absolutely horrible, but... that’s who he was, wasn’t he? A horrible person, who didn’t deserve you in the first place, and definitely doesn’t now.

The first thing that registers when you wake up is that it’s still dark out, and your head is pounding worse than any hangover has ever caused, probably because you’d cried yourself into dehydration. Checking your phone, you’re a little shocked to see that it’s 4am, and that you had about 400 missed calls and texts from Louisa. The sight makes your  heart shatter even more, knowing that you and her father were over... Sighing, you sit up in bed, smiling a little at the Panadol and water that Roger had left by your bed before throwing it back and getting out of bed. Your legs are wobbly, but you needed to do something. You were stronger than this, you had to be the strong one in the relationship relationship, you always had been.. and when you read the texts from Louisa, that Roger had called her, that Brian wasn’t answering any of her phone calls or the door to their house, a sinking pit forms in your stomach, one that you’d only felt the time you’d had to pull your best friend out of the bathtub.. Quickly opening your Uber app, you grab my things and head downstairs, shooting a text to Roger thanking him for everything before you walk out the door, locking it behind you. You hoped that he was strong enough not to do what you were fearing, and you desperately hoped to god that the Uber driver didn’t mind breaking a few laws.

Brian is still laying curled up in bed even after he wakes up, the drapes still closed, everything dark. His stomach was screaming at him to eat something, but he didn’t think he could bring himself to if he tried. He just kept thinking about everything—your words, your crying, the look on your face. You’d been so... angry. God, it made his stomach curdle again just thinking about it. He’d left his phone unplugged, and all the ringing and messages had eventually caused it to die.

 Thankfully Roger’s London home wasn’t too far from Bri’s, and the Uber driver could obviously tell that you were distressed, and kindly stepped on it. Once you were at the front door, after a quick thank you, you shakily pull the keys from your bag, unlocking the door before going to turn off the alarm, only to realize it’d not been turned on. Furrowing your brows, you sit everything down on the dining room table before moving around the first level of the house, searching in vain to find Brian, and with every room you exited with no sign of him, the pit in your stomach grew. You don’t even know how you’d managed to climb the stairs with your legs shaking the way they were, but once you reach the upper landing, you take a deep shuddering breath and head towards Brian’s room, pausing outside the door, just trying to prepare yourself for what you might find. However, what you find is better than the alternative, but still breaks your heart; well, the shards that were left of your heart. Brian was lying still on your side of the bed, curled around your pillow, his body shaking with sobs you weren’t even sure he knew were happening.

“B-Bri.. love…” Your voice is soft, you don’t want to scare him as you tentatively approach the bed.

He barely registers your voice; it literally doesn’t even compute in his brain. It’s not until he sees you that he blinks up at you, frowning, trying to process what he’s seeing. He feels light headed honestly. He was probably dehydrated from crying and puking, and weak from having not eaten.

“I—Y/N? What’re y’doing here?” His words are literally slurred, and he’s embarrassed by how rough he must look.

You can feel the familiar sting of tears threatening to cloud your vision as you look down at Brian. He had obviously taken a shower, which was good, but he was as pale as a ghost, shaking all over, and based on the way his body was curled up against your pillow, he was just as upset and distraught as you were, probably more. Sighing, you drop to your knees beside him, brushing a shaking hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek, swallowing hard, not wanting to scare him or give him any other reason to feel shitty. “I-I couldn’t just leave you like that Bri, I was horrible to you, said things in anger that I never should’ve said... that I never meant..” Your voice cracks a little, worry and pain working it’s way back inside of your chest.

“I should’ve been m-more mature, not walked out like that.. we needed to sit down and talk this out, and instead I-I just blew up and hurt you so much…” Leaning down and place a kiss to his cheek, your tears start to fall.

“I don’t even know how to begin going and asking for your forgiveness.”

He shakes his head weakly, lightheaded as he does so. He’s shivering, freezing cold even under his thick duvet. “I d-deserve it. I deserve for you to h-hate me. I hurt you—m’not good for you, I...” He hitches out a breath, though it’s more like a sob. He curls further in on himself, party hoping you’re just his imagination; that maybe you actually do love him after all. That you can convince him that none of it matters except their love for one another.

“Oh Bri, look at me honey, please…” He doesn’t, only shoves his face further into the pillow, body shaking with sobs, the sound making your own tears fall heavily, clouding your vision.

“I love you Brian, I don’t hate you, I n-never could.. I was angry, and hurt, but I don’t hate you…” He only cries harder, so you quickly crawl into bed behind him, wrapping your arms tight around his body, pulling him as close to you as you possibly could, just wanting to comfort him.

“You don’t deserve for me to hate you, you don’t deserve for anyone to hate you honey, I love you so much, and I’m so so sorry I acted like that…” Your stomach was hurting something fierce, like 10,000,000 tiny knives of regret were stabbing you over and over.

He turns and just clings to you, sobbing into your neck, fear and anxiety and worthlessness all mixing together inside of him. He hates himself for hurting you, for clinging to you, for being so goddamn pathetic. But he’s crying so hard he can’t breathe, and he doesn’t deserve your arms around him but he somehow has them.

“I- l-love y-you” It is all he manages to rasp out between sobs, his hands clutching your back so hard he is sure bruises will form… another reason for him to hate himself.

You breathe a small sigh of relief, squeezing him tighter as you sit up against the headboard so he can breathe better, your lips pressed firmly into his hair, your hands brushing up and down his naked back.

“Shhh, it’s okay Brian, I’ve got you honey, you’re okay.” Your tears are still falling, being absorbed by his curls.

“I need you to breathe for me honey, in and out, in and out.. cmon Bri, I don’t want you passing out, it’s okay…” You start to rock him back and forth as you talk softly to him, just wanting him to calm down enough to where you knew he wouldn’t have a panic attack.

“I-I-Im s-s-so-sorr-y.” He is shivering, trying to following your breathing techniques, trying to get ahold of himself. Jesus, he was so pathetic. “I l-l-love y—" He can’t finish it, his chest clenching painfully, which scares him. He couldn’t have a heart attack now; it was the absolute worst time. So he starts frantically trying to do the breathing exercises, vision still blurry with tears.

Noticing his panicked expression, the way he’s clutching his chest, you know he was already too far gone to avoid the panic attack. “C’mon Bri, let’s get you in the shower.” The shower was the only thing that you’d found worked on him, would help him calm down.. a nice warm shower. Somehow you manage to get him out of the bed, his arms still tight like a vice around you as you try your best to get him into the walk in shower, turning it on as fast as you can, not even caring that you were fully dressed and he was naked still, more than likely from his earlier shower. “Come here love, breathe baby, look at me and breathe, you’re gonna be okay, I’m not going anywhere.. I love you.” You sit down beside him, taking his cheeks between your hands, eyes level and staring hard into his, breathing in and out to show him how to do it

He just feels like he’s spiraling. Like he can’t get anything back under control. He’s fucking terrified; he’s SURE that he’s dying. That this is it, it’s a heart attack, and he’ll be dead on the floor soon, and you’d be happy about it. And yet, the more you encourage the special breathing, the more he does it, until finally, his brain has come back down to his current state: sitting down under the hot spray of the shower, doing purposeful, structured breathing. He still feels numb, but it’s not.... everything, like it had been

“There we go honey, good job...”

You hold him close, pressing a series of kisses to his temple, his cheeks, his forehead, just trying to ground him in any way you can. His arms are still wrapped tightly around you, holding you like a vice.. you don’t even think he truly realizes he’s doing it.

“I love you so much Brian... I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m so fucking sorry, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to help you see how much I love you, how much you mean to me…” Your voice cracks, emotions seeping out despite how hard you were trying to push them back to focus on Brian. “Please believe me Bri, I’m so so sorry, and I love you more than anything...”

“I love you too. I love you, I love you, please don’t h-hate me, please. I know I d-deserve it, but I—I love you so much I only want what’s b-best for you.” He presses his face into your neck, kind of choking a bit on all the water streaming down onto y’all, but he doesn’t care

You turn a little to maneuver it to where the water is hitting your backs, your arms still tightly wrapped around him, head resting on his

“Shh, no you don’t Brian, you don’t deserve me to hate you, and I don’t, I could never.” You start rocking him back and forth like a child in need of reassurance and comfort, which was basically what he was now, desperate for care.

“I know you only said those things because you wanted what was best for me, but you’re what’s best for me Brian.. I was only away from you for 11 hours and I felt like a piece of my soul had been cut loose, I can’t lose you..” You let out a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. “ H-How can I be what’s b-best for you when I m-make you feel like this!? How can I—" He swallows hard, trying to chill out, feeling humiliated that you’ve seen him like this, but knowing deep down this is what a relationship was supposed to entail; being vulnerable. If you couldn’t see him like this, nobody could. That didn’t mean he felt necessarily good about it, that the thoughts in his brain didn’t try to skew every little ounce of happiness he felt.

“How c-can I be best f-for you when I can’t even b-BE there for you?” His voice is weak and defeated, his true feelings finally coming to the surface after hours of trying to suppress them. Brian’s sobs weren’t as loud anymore, but his voice was still shaky and hitched, and it cut you like a knife to hear his words.

“Bri.. love, yes you made me feel bad, but that’s one time in a whole cornucopia of times you’ve made me feel so much better…” Reaching up, you cup his face in your hands, making him look into your eyes.

“Just because you’ve hurt me once doesn’t mean you meant to, or will do it again.. you meant well Brian, I know that.. I know that you love me and you only wants what’s best...” You try to steady your voice and keep calm, but you can’t help but sniffle at his last words, the weight of them pressing down on your very soul.

“You ARE there for me Bri, you’ve been here for me since the beginning, and I-I love you! I love you so much, please believe me…”

Tears are still falling from his red rimmed hazel eyes, though he’s not sobbing anymore.

“Y/N it’s not... it’s not about now.” He closes his eyes; he can’t look at you, too ashamed and guilty to see the tears and pain behind your eyes. “It’s about later.” He sighs. “I’m 72, Y/N. 72.”

A cold shiver runs up your spine at the implications of his words, tears springing to your eyes as well as you try to push back the thoughts you’d fought for so long.

“I-I know that Brian, I knew what I was getting into when I decided to love you...” You grasp his hand, the action shaky and unsure, your poor heart aching.

“I know we won’t have forever together, t-that I m-might only get 20 years tops with you, b-but I don’t care Bri, I would rather spend 20 minutes with you than 50 years with someone else.” The sob you’d been trying to choke back finally manages to release itself, and you have to duck your head to keep him from worrying. He already had enough to worry about without you blubbering.

“I-I love you, I love you more t-than I’ll ever be able to love anyone else, a-and I-I just, I want to spend every single m-moment we have together loving y-you.”

The older man is  quiet, listening to you. He doesn’t know what to think; what to believe. He knows his own brain—his own thoughts—are intruders. But it makes everything so much harder. He just wraps his arms around you tightly, eyes clenched shut “I’m s-sorry. You deserve better.”

His voice is quiet, hopeless. He just... doesn’t know what to do. He wants you, but feels selfish for doing so. Doesn’t want to push you away, but isn’t that the responsible thing? Or is his mind just tricking him into thinking that?

You just sob harder when he pulls you close, resting his head on yours as you bury your face into his chest. You’re clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping you connected to gravity, because in a way he is. The two of you stay like that for a while, you sobbing, him holding onto you for dear life, but after god knows how long the water starts to run cold. Sniffling, you reluctantly pull away from Brian, standing on wobbly legs to turn the water off, clothes absolutely saturated.

“W-well, guess I don’t have to worry about washing these later.”

You try to make a joke, chuckling lightly. Brian just stares at the tiled floor of the large shower, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head. Sighing, you crouch down beside him, taking his hand in yours. “C’mon honey, let’s get you dried off and in bed while I go make you some toast okay? I know you haven’t eaten…” He never ate when he got like this, and it was something that scared you tremendously.

He sniffles, struggling and stumbling to get to his feet “Don’t wanna eat.” He’s quiet, his eyes trained on the ground

“I don’t want you to have to take care of me. Don’t wanna be a burden.” Swallowing hard, his stomach curdles again. He has to stop moving; has to balance himself against the wall, otherwise he knew for a fact that he would collapse. “I’m sorry.” He repeats again, wincing when you sigh at him.

“And I’m sorry for apologizing.” His voice shakes, he’s shivering from the cold, and you immediately head over to him, rubbing his arms with your hands, just trying to create some friction/ “I can—I’ll s-stop.” He’s a little dizzy, but still, he moves to grab two towels, one for you and one for himself.

“Here, Brian, just—just let me help you.” You rush to the door, grabbing the towels from him and wrapping him tightly in one. He winces and flinches away from you, making your stomach churn involuntarily.

Stepping  in front of him, you grab his biceps a little harder than necessary, well actually it was the proper amount of force that Brian needed to pull him out of his mind, but you still felt a little bad for the bruises you would probably use.

“Brian. Look at me, and listen to me okay?” Your eyes are hard and stern, you only want to be soft and sweet to him, but sometimes when he would get too far into his head, he needed hard. “You. Are. Not. A. Burden.. you don’t have to apologize for how you feel, you NEVER have to be sorry for how you feel... I love you Brian, I am your girlfriend, your partner in life, and I am going to stay right here, beside you, for the rest of our lives.”

His breath hitches, fresh tears somehow filling his eyes. He winces a little at your grip, but doesn’t really mind it, even if it’s bruising. He just nods, wordless. It’s silent, and then he finally stutters out a word. “O-okay.” he swallows. “I’m sorry—" he cuts himself off, wincing at his automatic apology. “I mean— I’m trying,” it’s stupid to say. He knows words are empty without action. “I love you, too.”

“I know honey, I know you’re trying.” You smile at him gently, moving your hands from his arms up to his face, thumbs rubbing the tears away from his cheeks. “I love you, and I’m going to help you okay? I’m not going anywhere, and you’re never going to be alone in this.” You sniffle, willing your tears away. He’s shivering in the cold, the fluffy towel doing nothing to warm him.

“Come on honey, come lay down.. it’s late, well, early… but, you... you need to sleep.” You grab his hands gently, bringing them to your lips to kiss. “Please?” Your words are desperate, you just want him to be okay, that’s all you ever want.

He nods, letting you pull him back into the bedroom. He’s quiet as you dry him off, his hands on your shoulders to balance himself. He feels... brittle. Like one false move and he’ll break into a million pieces. When you come back from throwing the towels in the hamper, he speaks “Will you... would you stay?”

Nodding gently, you strip out of your clothes before slipping on one of Brian’s oversized sleep shirts. “Of course honey, here...” You bring back the covers, sliding in and pulling him in beside you. “Come here Bri, let me hold you.” He nods and sniffles, wrapping him up in your arms, pulling him close to your chest.

Brian cuddles in close, clinging to you. He’s naked and cold, and essentially tries to bury himself into you and the blankets. He ducks his hands under your shirt, trying to warm them against your skin. You smelled good; smelled comforting. He lets out a shuddering breath, his body slowly warming up.

You shiver a little at Brian’s touches, smiling when he curls in deeper “There ya go baby, just let go.” You drop a kiss to his head, sighing deeply as his hands move up to cup your breasts, your heart pounding at the simple motion.

“You okay baby? What do you need me to do for you honey?” You speak gently, hands moving up and down his naked back

“I need—" He shivers, hands squeezing your breasts gently. “Need you to punish me. He murmurs the words, embarrassed. He doesn’t know how to explain it. His brain was working nonstop, all sorts of negative thoughts and horrible feelings settling in his mind. He couldn’t hurt himself—knew he shouldn’t. That’s what he used to do, when he was younger, when things got bad. But, maybe this would work.

You freeze your movements, eyebrows raising into your hairline at his words. “A-are you sure honey? Are you up for it?”

You were definitely concerned about why he was asking this of you, but you also knew that when he got into this headspace, one thing that helped bring him out was intimacy, but this? Trailing your hands up to his face, you tilt his eyes up towards you, concern written clearly on your face. “Brian, I-I need to know you’re not asking this because you think you deserve to be hurt.. I want to help you, b-but I need you to know that you don’t deserve to be harmed because of how you feel.”

He swallows hard, looking up at you warily “I don’t know about what I deserve but... it’s what I need.” He quiets.

“I need you to hurt me. I can’t do it myself, and it—It’s the only thing that... that helps,” He feels ashamed of his words; of himself. But this was the best alternative to other things. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

You quickly sit up, brushing your hands through his hair. “Hey, it’s okay Bri, I just—I wanna make sure you are sure and you’re okay with it.” The idea of him hurting himself made you nauseous, and if you could do something, anything... to help him feel better and more at ease, you would do. “I want to help you, wanna do whatever you need me to do honey.” You move to straddle his hips, running my hands down his chest, scraping my nails over his nipples, trying to build up to the punishment. “Now... tell me what you want baby, how do you want mommy to punish you…”

He whimpers, back arching up into your touch. He lets out a shuddering breath, trying to think.

“I—I don’t—" He swallows, throat clicking. He wants to feel something, wants something sharp to cut him out of his head

“... spank me.” He flushes, embarrassed at his request.

You can’t help but let out a deep moan at his words, your hands moving to his face to bring his lips up to yours.

“That’s what you want honey? You want mommy to bend you over her lap and spank you for being so naughty?” Speaking against his lips, you bring his bottom lip between your teeth, biting down gently. “Can’t believe you’re such a little slut for me Brian, I can already feel your cock throbbing just imagining my hand on your pretty little ass.” He whimpers, nodding quickly. “Please. I wanna—wanna feel your hands on me—' His breathing is a little shallow, his cock chubbing up despite itself. “Want it to h-hurt to sit down tomorrow. Want to have w-welts.” He’s blushing; he’s never asked for something like this from anyone before. Sure, maybe he’d been dommed, but not this.

“Oh baby, you’re gonna regret asking this...” You smirk wolfishly, sliding off of him, making sure to drag your naked cunt over his cock, pleasure and pride filling your stomach at the whimper that leaves his mouth.

“Come here slut, lay down on my legs...” He eagerly does as you say, rutting his cock against the mattress. “No sir.”

You bring your hand down hard on his ass, biting your lip at the sound the clap of skin makes. You’d dommed him before, been really rough, but never once had you hurt him because he was desperate for it. “You don’t fucking move understand? You don’t deserve to get any pleasure do you? You only get to be spanked like the little whore you are.”

 “ N—No. No, I don’t deserve it. I don’t.” He stutters out, grabbing a pillow and pulling it over to him, shoving his face into it. He clings to the fabric, spreading his legs a little, trying to get into a position he could hold. Please—Please, Y/N— Please, Miss!”

The title sends a rush of arousal in between your thighs, a small moan escaping your throat as you bring your hand down again, harder than before, smirking when he whimpers into the pillow.

“God Brian, you’re such a goddamn slut, look at you all spread out for me to spank.”

You slap his cheeks harder and harder with every go, feeling a little bad about it, about causing him pain.. but, you fucking loved it, loved how hard he was clenching the pillow

He cries out into the pillow, trembling all over, but moaning all the same. He feels messy and dirty and nasty and he loves it. “Fuck, Th-thank you, Miss. I’m a little s-slut. That’s a-all I am.”

He shifts again, trying to move further into your lap from where he was slipping a little. His legs slip open a little more, just as your hand aims for his lower cheek, and as a result, half of your slap lands across his balls. He cries out louder than before, tears springing to his eyes—and yet, he’s never been so hard in his life. “Oh f-fuck—"

Your eyes widen and your persona drops just a fraction, concerned for Brian. “Oh god, honey are you o—"

He’s whimpering and rutting again, his breathy moans going straight to your cunt. “You liked that didn’t you you little whore? You liked me slapping your balls?”

He just whimpers and nods, biting down on the pillow to stop his noises being too loud, which you were having none of. Reaching over you grab his chin and turn his face towards you, your eyes stern, voice hard as you grab hold of his balls in a grip that was just borderline mean.

“Don’t you EVER cover up your noises honey, I wanna hear how hot you are for me.” One firm smack on his ass later and his voice is choking out a sob, begging for more.

He feels dizzy, but in a better way than he had been feeling. He sobs out your name, his hips moving against his will, trying to rut his cock against your thigh. Each movement of his hips caused you to tug on his balls, which were still stinging from the slap earlier. His ass felt like it was on fire, but he loved it. “P-Please... Please!”

His whole body jerks when you spank him again, and he gasps out your name once more. “Y/N I—Oh fuck, I might c-cum—"

Pride swells inside of you, knowing that you had this effect on him, that he trusted and loved you enough to be so vulnerable with you. “Yeah? You gonna cum just from me spanking your slutty ass?”

You start to deliver blow after blow, one hard slap after another, rotating between pulling on his balls and slapping his ass. “Of course you are baby, or course you’re gonna cum just from this.. goddamnit you just love being punished by me don’t you honey, just love having your little man cunt absolutely destroyed because you know it’s what you deserve...” You’ve leaned down, whispering in his ear as you continue to smack and tug, knowing he’s close as can be, just hoping to send him over the edge.

Your final words do it, humiliation streaking through him. He lets out a sob, feeling the dirtiest he’s ever felt in his life as his hips jerk, his cock pulsing out cum messily all over your leg and the bedspread. He’s gasping for air, tears blurring his vision so much that he just closes his eyes. His hips continue to twitch, his balls pulsing in your hand.

“There ya go honey, just let go—breathe for me baby…” You run your hands up and down Brian’s back, gently scraping your nails along the slightly tanned skin to try and bring him back to earth. His entire body was shaking, and his hot cum completely coated your leg, only a few drops seemed to have gotten on the bed, which was a miracle in and of itself. You spare a glance down to Brian’s poor cheeks, wincing a bit as you take in just how red and welted they are. You’d need to get him an ice pack and some salve ASAP, but, you couldn’t move just yet, not with him clinging to your legs the way he was. “Baby, you did so good for me, I’m so so proud of you honey.. such a good boy.”

 He’s panting, trying to catch his breath, his head spinning. His ass hurts, but it feels good at the same time. No regrets. And despite his spinning head, his mind feels clearer than it has in days. “Fuck.” He murmurs, wiping his face on the pillow below him. His hand comes down to fumble at you, finally settling on your side. “T-thank you. I love you s-so much.”

 You bend over, pressing a series of kisses to his back and neck, your hands running up and down the cool skin before moving to rest on the hand he’s placed on your hip.

“I love you too Brian, so much…” Taking one last look at his red bottom, you sigh a little.

“C’mon baby, let’s get you cleaned up and then you can lie down and I’ll rub some salve over you okay? I don’t want you being in too much pain.” You make a move to stand, helping Brian do the same as you lead him to the bathroom, cleaning him and yourself up as quickly as you can before grabbing every moisturizer we own, plus making a quick get away downstairs to grab a few ice packs. Returning to the bedroom, you smile gently when you see him standing beside the bed, hands crossed in front of him, a deep red flush from his hairline to his thighs. “Okay honey, you lie down on your tummy and let me take care of you okay? Just relax and I’ll make you feel good…”

He nods, doing what you say easily, happy to follow your instructions. He lays down gingerly, wincing a little but trying to hide it; he doesn’t want you to feel bad.

He jumps at the first touch of your hand to his skin, but soon he’s sighing happily, relaxing into the mattress.

“That feels nice, love. Really good.” He moans softly, your hands lulling him into security.

 You can’t help but feel a little bad about the welts already forming on Brian’s ass, the redness making my heart clench, but seeing how calm and at ease the action had made him gives you a sense of peace... besides, if it helped him, you weren’t about to refuse him.

“If this is going to be a regular occurrence, I’m gonna have to invest in some top notch blister lotion for you honey.” You chuckle lightly, massaging the lavender lotion deep into his red skin, the sounds of his soft moans filling the room.

 He lets out a sound that’s an honest to god giggle, still feeling a little lightheaded, but this time from the subspace he was floating in.

“Maybe that would be a good investment for us, then. Though I like this...” He trails off, as if losing his train of thought, only to speak again after a long pause. “It smells nice.”

You chuckle “It does smell nice doesn’t it? Lavender helps relax you and soothes the skin, it’s exactly what you need honey.”

You keep kneading his ass for a little bit longer, smiling widely at his little noises, loving that you were making him feel good and relaxed. “You want me to get your back too Bri? Since I’m already back here.”

It just seemed logical, that you would continue the massage. It was about 5:30am at this point, and you knew we both needed to sleep, but Brian was loving this massage, and he seemed more relaxed than he had in weeks, so you weren’t about to stop now.

He pulls himself up on his elbows to look back at you, expression open and vulnerable. “You... you don’t have to.”

He feels a bit of guilt creeping in—nothing like the feelings he was having earlier, but... you’d done so much for him, and he’d done nothing for you.

You reach forward, scratching his back gently.

“I don’t mind baby, I wanna make you feel good.” You know he’s reluctant to accept, he always wants to be the one to take care of you, but he just.. he needs to be taken care of, and you didn’t mind “If you don’t want me to, I won’t Bri, but I just wanna make you feel special.” You lean down and place a single kiss to the middle of his spine, the action gentle and reassuring.

He thinks for a moment before settling back down into his pillow, nodding, his curls bouncing a little.

“Okay, love. If you want to, it would—it would feel nice.” His muscles still ached from his long period of sitting on the floor of the living room earlier.

“Thank you. I love you.” He murmurs into the soft fabric under his face, savoring the words, remembering how just a couple hours ago he’d lost the right to say such a thing.

You move your lips up his spine some more, nipping the skin just a little.

“Of course baby.. you deserve it.” You lean back, squirting some of the lotion onto his back, giggling a little when he jolts.

“Sorry, it’s a little cold.” He snorts, shaking his head against the fabric of the pillow. Shaking your own head, you start massaging his back, straddling his lower back as you work on his traps, digging in hard, working the knots out, your brows furrowing at how tense he was.

“Oh my god Brian, you’re so tense.. I’m gonna have to start doing this more often.. can’t have you getting knots like these on tour.”

He grunts a little at your ministrations—they kinda hurt, but in the best way. Just like earlier.

“Well, I’m an old man, lovely. I’m surprised my entire body isn’t one big knot.” He stretches a little, his muscles rippling under his skin, under your hands. “They work themselves out on tour, mostly. At least I’m moving around on stage. Rog has to sit most of the time.”

You have to bite your lip at the feeling of his muscles moving and tightening underneath your hands, your naked cunt still pressed firmly against his lower back. You were praying, for the first time in years, that he couldn’t feel your wetness, that he wouldn’t be freaked out by you being turned on by this.

“If you were one big knot, I’d spend everyday unfurling it for you.” Leaning down, you place a kiss to the back of his head, nuzzling his silver curls just a tad.

“You’re just gonna have to bring me with you to be your personal masseuse then.. I don’t want you “working out” your knots in stage, you need to be cared for... tenderly…”

“Personal masseuse hmm?” He chuckles softly, sounding thoughtful.

“Sounds like that’s a job that benefits you more than it does me.” He teases lightly; it felt like every nerve of his was alight, feeling every touch of yours—and he did mean EVERY touch. Besides, he knew by now what you sounded like when you were turned on

“Still, I’d be more than happy to offer you the position. You’re more than qualified, you know.”

Chuckling lightly at his words, you move your hands down further on his back, closer to where you were straddling him, yet you were still leaned over, your lips presses against the back of his neck.

“Yeah? Am I just that good or are you trying to butter me up?” He adjusts himself, bucking up into you just a little, causing your clit to rub deliciously against his back. The resulting whimper was one that you couldn’t keep back, and anyway, your mouth was so close to his ear there was really no sense in you trying to hide it... besides, you wanted him to know now, wanted him to know that you wanted HIM.

He groans at the noise you make; at the soft, warm slickness of your cunt against his skin

“Well I’d say you’re the best damn masseuse I’ve ever had, love. You’ve just got a.... unique touch.” He smirks to himself at his dumb innuendo

“.... here’s an idea. How’s about a head massage?”

You stop your movements, sitting up just a little bit as confusion washes over you at his words…you think you know what he’s saying, but.. you’re not entirely sure “H-head massage?”

You hitch out a gasp as he bucks his back again, your clit caught between his skin and your own. “I-I can g-get the head scratcher if you want honey, if that’s what you n-need.” Your head lolls forward, hitting his upper back, a breathy moan escaping your mouth.

He laughs before wriggling himself around under you. You climb off him in confusion, your brows arched at him. He rolls onto his back for tugging at you again.

“Okay, come back.” You straddle his hips, and his hands settle on your waist

“No, up here.” He tugs at you, urging you further up his body, a little smirk on his face.

“You can put your hands in my hair the way I like, but I want you—" You’re straddling his stomach now, and he pouts, trying to get you up to his face. “—closer.”

You raise your eyebrows, smirk wide on your face when you finally understand what he wants. “Oh really? How much closer?”

You slowly drag my pussy along his stomach, inching your way towards his chest. “Here?” He pouts and shakes his head, pulling you closer to his face. “Hmm... here?”

You slide up closer, your legs over his shoulders now.

He hums as if considering it, his hands squeezing your ass as he arches his neck to press a gentle kiss to one of your thighs.

“Well I’ll admit, I like it. But I think I’d like you even closer.” He smiles when you pretend to act surprised, and he looks up at you through his lashes, Hazel eyes wide and innocent.

“What? You don’t want to be closer?” He lets his head flop back down against the pillows, sighing wistfully.

“Wouldn’t wanna make you do anything you don’t wanna do.”

 You hum in false consideration, burying your hands in his hair, your fingers locking into a few of his curls, tugging gently.

“I mean... I GUESS I can move a little closer…” You do just that, not giving him any warning before you settle your cunt right on his mouth, groaning at the friction.

“T-this close enough f-for you baby?”

He moans, the sound still loud even though it’s muffled by your cunt. His hands move to clutch at your hips, holding you down firmly so he can start licking over your folds. He’s eager and quick to find your clit, latching on and sucking on it while his tongue flicks against the little nub. You tasted so fucking sweet—he wanted more of it

The noise that escape your mouth at his ferocity and eagerness is borderline obscene.

“F-fuck Brian! Oh baby, y-you, FUCK!” You have to move one of your hands to the headboard to keep myself upright, your orgasm already fast approaching thanks to the sensitivity of your clit from your grinding earlier.

“C-cmon Bri, y-you can do b-better than that honey, e-eat me like you mean it.” You loved talking to Brian like this, it always made him go harder and be more intense.

Brian lets out a noise akin to a growl at your teasing words, his teeth brushing over your clit gently before he tugs you closer to him, his tongue pressing into you as deep as he can get it while his long nose nudges against your clit. He moves his head back and forth quickly, curls bouncing, one hand moving from your hip to slap your ass hard. He wants you to cum on his tongue; wants to have you soak his face; wants to taste you for hours.

You’re gasping for breath as he slaps your ass, both of your hands now clenching the headboard so hard that your knuckles were white. Brian’s nose bumps your clit as his tongue digs hard inside of you one final time before the dam breaks, and your orgasm hits you like a goddamn truck. “B-Bri—o-oh my god!” His groans send vibrations through your clit and up your body, pulling whimpers from your mouth as you ride his face, riding your orgasm out as long as you can.

He makes a desperate sound, licking through your folds over and over again, taking everything you have to give him. His hands move your hips to help you ride it out, making you grind smoothly onto his face. He continues until your grip in his hair turns to pushing away, and only then does he pull away, heaving breaths in. Still, he doesn’t let you get far; pressed hot, sucking kisses over the tender skin of your pale inner thighs. He has his eyes shut, a dreamy sort of smile on his face. He loved eating you out; not only did he love pleasing you, but he always actually enjoyed it, too

You all but collapse against the headboard, your  hands gently holding onto his hair as you try and catch your breath.

“B-Bri, I-I.. fuck honey…” Chuckling lightly, you sit up and gaze down at him, a soft and pleased smile on your face. “Help me lie down please? I-I don’t think I can move my legs.”

Brian tosses his head back at your words, laughing joyfully

“Well then that’s a job well done on my part, yeah?” You tug his hair pointedly, and he hushes up, moving to help you lay down beside him. Once you’re all comfy, he curls up around you, on his side. He settles a large hand onto your stomach, splaying his fingers out. He swore if he focused hard enough he could feel your still racing pulse under your skin.

“Thank you for the head massage.”

Burying your face in his neck, you let out a bright laugh, shaking your head at his words. “I’m more than happy to give you a head massage every single day for the rest of time if you want.”

You press a kiss to his neck before sighing and burying yourseld further into the pillows, winding your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer so he can rest his head on your chest. It’s comforting, being this way with him, and it almost makes you forget the intensity of earlier.. but not completely.

“Ya know, we’re gonna have to talk about what happened earlier right? I think it’s safe to say that we’re not breaking up.. but, we do need to talk about everything…” As much as you don’t want to... but, you were adults and needed to communicate like them.

He tenses at your words, anxiety cutting through his stomach sharply. But he tries to ignore it; to breathe out long and slow and nod

“I know. I know we do.” He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I’m sorry.”

You give him a squeeze, sighing along with him.

“I know honey, I know you are. And there’s nothing for you to be sorry for. You have valid feelings and reasons to be upset and worried.” Your voice is light, you weren’t scared anymore, you knew we would be and stay together… but, you still needed to talk

“You do still want to be with me right? I know that’s probably stupid to ask, but, I just want to make sure that you still want this.. to be with me, have a life with me.”

He’s quiet for a long time after your question, thinking about how to answer. It’s only when he feels you tensing up that he realizes he’s been silent much too long. He rubs his hand over your side, voice soft when he finally speaks, his stomach fluttering nervously

“Y/N, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. No matter how short of a time that will be,” He sighs, “That’s what’s so scary.”

Closing your eyes, you breathe a sigh of relief, relaxing completely against Brian’s body.

“I want to be with you for the rest of your life too Brian, and I-I know that might not be the most lengthy time.. but, it’s still time that we’ll have together, a chance to be with one another until we,” You release a shuddering breath, not wanting to imagine a future without Brian in it, but knowing that in the next decade or so… it could happen.

“But that’s in the future.. and, I could marry someone my age and them die the day after our wedding, or have them develop cancer 5 years into our marriage.. we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow Brian, Hell, I could die on my way to work in the morning... it’s not about how much time we have with someone, it’s about why we do with the time we have.”

He swallows hard, nodding once more.

“I know... I know, you’re right. It’s just... well, no one likes discussing their own mortality I suppose.” He sighs, reaching blindly for one of your hands to hold.

“I should have... have trusted your opinion. It’s not that I didn’t or don’t, I just... I want you to be happy and taken care of. And I’m always worried I won’t be able to—I know someday I won’t be here. And I just... I don’t know. It was stupid I suppose” He drops his head, laughing humorlessly. “If it was what you were feeling, it’s not stupid Brian.. you’re not stupid for being scared, or worrying about me.. it makes me feel loved and cared for, which is all I know you want for me.. I trust you, love you, and appreciate beyond belief the fact that you care so much about me and my well being, that you were willing to sacrifice your happiness...” You squeeze the hand resting on your stomach, wanting to provide him with just a small ounce of comfort.

“You’ve made me so happy just in the short time we’ve been together.. like, I swear to god Brian it feels like you’ve shoved 10 years of love and happiness into 4 months, and—god, I just—I love you so much..”

  He feels a little bit of relief at your words; that you weren’t still angry with him. Sure, maybe your “I hate you” still rang in his head, but he knew it would slowly fade if he gave it time. He brings your hand up to his lips to kiss it softly

“I love you, too, Y/N. More than anything.” His words are quiet and reverent, like a prayer.

You smile gently at him, leaning forward to drop a kiss to his forehead, still feeling absolutely horrific for what you’d said to him, he didn’t deserve that…

“Bri…” You choke back a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry for what I said to you.. y-you didn’t deserve to have me tell you I hate you, especially when I could never, EVER, hate you. You’ve given me nothing but love and understanding, care and affection... and I-I’ll spend the rest of time reconciling what I said to you…”

He nods, not wanting to think about it, but knowing he had to. “It’s alright, Y/N.”

His voice is still quiet; he doesn’t want you to be upset. He doesn’t want you to beat yourself up over it. He’d hurt you, and you’d said it, and it was all.... in a rush of emotions… something he definitely understood, and he couldn’t fault you for it.

“It’s okay, love.” He pulls away from you just a little, tugging at the covers “Let’s just go back to bed, yeah?”

You still feel like a shit girlfriend, but you know he doesn’t blame you, you know he isn’t holding it against you, and you’re 100% positive that he knows he didn’t mean it...

“Okay, yeah.. bed does sound good.” You allow him to cover you up with the blanket, snuggling up against him.

“Rog’s guest bed is comfortable, but the best bed in the world could feel like a goddamn bed of rocks when you’re not there with me.”

He laughs a little at your words, but then frowns.

“Oh, I should...” He sits up, but makes sure the covers stay tucked over you.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I need to call him. I sort of... yelled at him, earlier.” He barely remembers doing so, but he knows he did.

You try your best to stay awake while Brian calls Roger, but the emotional and physical drainage of the day wacks you in the goddamn face, and before you know what’s happening, you’re falling asleep to Brian’s sheepish voice on the phone with Roger. Brian returns to bed about 20 minutes later, after a rather irritated Roger had given him a dressing down that only his mother’s could rival. He appreciated what his best friend had done for you beyond measure, that he had taken you in and made sure you were safe… he could never repay him for that, and the drummer would never ask him to do so. Curled up in bed next to you, Brian falls asleep in no time, his heart finally healing from the gash that he had inflicted on himself earlier that day. He sleeps for a while, finally waking up around 11:30. So, about 5 hours. Not bad. He’s surprised when he finds you still asleep next to him, though I guess you’d been awake just as long as he had. He lays there for a little bit to wake up more before stretching and getting out of bed. He throws on a pair of underwear and a cozy robe and slippers, trying to keep quiet so not to wake you. Then he sneaks downstairs to the kitchen, digging in his fridge to find something to cook for breakfast, he just felt like he still had a lot of making up to do.

You wake up to the smell of breakfast, tea to be more precise, being made. The smell brings a smile to your face and you roll over and stretch widely, groaning a bit. Grabbing your phone as you sit up, your eyes widen a tad when you see that’s it’s close to noon, and that you have approximately 1350 missed calls and texts from various members of the May and Taylor family. After taking a bit of time to respond to Emily, Jimmy, and Louisa, reassuring them that you and their father were completely fine, you put on a robe and my, well technically they were Brian’s, house shoes and head downstairs. Brian is stood in front of the stove, humming as he cooks, the sight brings a smile to my face as I walk towards him, wrapping my arms around his middle “Mmmm what did I do to deserve this?”

He smiles when he hears you come in; relaxes back into your touch. He chuckles at your words.

“Hmm? Well, you deserve this every day just for existing.” He pauses, flipping over the pancakes he was cooking.

“But specifically? I think what I put you through last night is reason enough for a big, yummy breakfast.” He frowns, sighing, looking down at the pan.

“Although apparently my waffle maker is broken. I guess it’s about time. I think I’ve had that thing since the early 90’s, it’s probably a fire hazard.”

Your eyes widen dramatically and you smack his stomach.

“Brian! You’re an international rock legend, you have more money than the bloody queen, and you’ve been using the same waffle machine for 30 years?” You laugh loudly into his back, squeezing him tightly*

“Could you imagine the headline? Legendary Queen Guitarist and Astrophysics Legend Brian May burns down multimillion-dollar home in Waffle Machine electrical malfunction.”

 He grins, shaking his head, his curls brushing your face.

“Hey, it was a great waffle maker! Besides, they get better with age, I’ve been told. There’s more flavor.” You make a disapproving sound and he grins “Well, Anita and I did have a newer one, but she took it with her. It’s not like I needed it.”

You chuckle and give him one final squeeze, pulling your phone out of the pocket of my robe “YOU got better with age, WINE gets better with age, CHEESE gets better with age… Not waffle makers babe…” Opening up the Postmates app, you tease him while and ordering a waffle iron from Waitrose.

“There, got one on the way now, hopefully one that won’t set your house on fire and kill us all.” You reach up and peck his cheek, showing him the delivery notification.

He pouts when he sees the notification, but leans into your kiss.

“Well I’ll pay you back for that, I swear.” He turns back to the multiple pans on the stove.

“Could you get out some plates? And maybe some drinks? Mimosas sound good, if you’re up for it.”

“You will NOT pay me back for that! A £30 waffle iron pales in comparison to all of the things you’ve given me. Consider it a mutually beneficial gift.” You slap his ass and head to get the plates and cups out, moaning in appreciation of his suggestion for mimosas.

“God yes, mimosas sounds incredible, I’ll make a pitcher?” You shoot him a look of questioning, smiling when he nods. It doesn’t take long for you to run downstairs and get a bottle of Moët, aka the only champagne that Brian drank.. a little cliche but definitely something that made you smile. Bouncing up the stairs, you hyperventilate dramatically, leaning against the fridge

“Okay, with pulp or without?”

By the time you come back up, he’s starting to plate the food. He scoffs at your question. “In mimosas? No pulp please.” You grumble something about him being picky, which makes him laugh.

“Yes mum, I’ve always been picky. That’s what you get with me.” He carries the plates to the little dining area still within the kitchen, before going to get things like syrup and jam and butter.

You shake your head at him, pouring the orange juice into the pitcher, followed by some ice cubes, and the champagne, jumping when the cork pops.

“Ya know, I’m never gonna get used to that.” You mumble it to yourself, but Brian laughs and drops a kiss to your cheek when he passes.

“I guess I’m just going to have to get used to your pickie little ass then hmm? If I’m gonna deal with you for the rest of time, I should get used to the fact that you only like no pulp orange juice and chilled, but not cold, cheese...” You raise your eyebrows at him as you put the pitcher on the table before taking a seat beside him.

He pouts. “Cold cheese is too hard and dulls the flavor, but warm cheese is...” He shudders, before taking his glass from you. “Chilled is the happy medium.” Brian winks at you before sipping his drink. “Delicious. And I hope breakfast suits you. The pancakes have a little cardamom in them this time.”

You give him a look of disbelief, smiling before cutting one of the fluffy pancakes and sticking it in your mouth, groaning in pleasure at the taste.

“Jesus Christ Brian, these are amazing, thank you.” You lean over and peck his lips, mouth still full of pancake.

“I think you should hang up red and just become my personal chef...” You wriggle my eyebrows at him, taking a big bite, throwing your head back while moaning in pleasure, licking the fork.

He snorts. “I wouldn’t make much of a personal chef if all I can really make is breakfast food.” You give him a look and he grins.

“Alright, and noodles. Listen, I lived with three other men most of my life and two of them couldn’t even cook an egg. John was wildly talented in the kitchen, so I didn’t have to be anything special.” He takes a bite of his own, groaning a little.

“That IS good....”

“Told ya so.” You send him a wink, eating as fast as you could, going back for seconds within 10 minutes of sitting down.

“Don’t you dare say anything.. I’m a growing girl, and you made wayyyy too many pancakes for me to only have 3.” You pour some syrup on them, your tongue sticking out in concentration Brian grins and takes a bite of his own food. “I made more because I knew you’d eat them. Plus, who doesn’t love leftover pancakes.” He shrugs.

“I don’t have anything to do today, miraculously. If you don’t either, maybe we could just... have a day to ourselves?” It was rare that the two of you had that, even on the weekends. But the tour was on a little break, and Brian was trying to make the most of it.

“That sounds amazing Bri.” You smile over at him, taking another bite, happiness flooding your body just thinking about the possibilities of what the two of you could do with a whole day to yourselves.

“What do you wanna do? As long as I get to sit in your lap for a majority of the day, I don’t give a shit.” You loved, and I repeat, LOVED sitting in Brian’s lap.. it just.. made you feel safe and loved, plus it didn’t hurt that he usually ended up with a boner, and you usually ended up face down on the couch while he fucked you relentlessly.

He shifts in his seat at your words, smiling a little. Was he already horny just from those words? Yes. Listen, he might be an old man, but his cock still tried to be 20 years old…

“Well we can certainly do that, love. I was thinking of maybe watching a movie or something, and eating ourselves silly, and...” He sighs.

“Well maybe that sounds a bit boring. I just thought we could spend some time together. I miss you, when you’re gone.”

“ Aww, Bri…” You set your fork and knife down, scooting your chair back so you can climb over into his lap. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean  forward to press a series of kisses to his cheeks and forehead.

“I miss you too when you’re gone.. more than you know…” You sigh, remembering how sad you’d been when he’d gone off on the first leg of the tour, leaving you all alone in the big house.

“Wish there was some way I could come with you, the bed is just so empty and cold when you’re not here with me.”

 He looks up at you sharply, arching his brows at your words

“You—You’d want to come?” He honestly hasn’t thought so. Not because of anything you’d done, but just because you had your own life and career you loved, and touring was hectic. It was a hard life to live; always on the go, never any sleep, night after night. But it was his passion and he loved it. But again, he knew it wasn’t for everyone.

 You stammer a little at his words, slightly embarrassed. Sure you’d desperately wanted to go with him when he left on tour.. but, you’d never brought it up because you didn’t want to make him feel like he HAD to bring you.

“I-I mean, I’d like to.. but, I understand if you wouldn’t like that! You’ve been doing this for 50 years, and you probably have a set way of doing things, and I’d probably just get in the way.”

Biting your lip, you shake your head.

“I have 51 days of vacation from work, a-and I could always use that, but…” You chuckle, scratching his head. “I don’t wanna make you feel like you have to let me.”

 His breath leaves his chest in a big huff, hazel eyes wide “51 days of vacation?? How???” You shrug and he shakes his head.

“Okay, well, we’re definitely talking about that later, but...” He smiles up at you.

“Of course I’d want you on the road with me. You might get sick of it, but you could always go back home if that happens. I—I’d love it if you were there. And I know Rog and Adam would like you there too, and the crew won’t mind as long as you don’t sabotage anything.” He winks.

You breathe a sigh of relief, smiling before pressing your lips to Brian’s, tasting the maple of the syrup he’d just eaten.

“Well, I can’t promise that I won’t destroy the dressing room with you...” You bite his lip gently, smirking when you feel his cock thickening under your ass.

“But are you sure? I don’t want to be in the way or do anything that could cause people to be uncomfortable., it’s YOUR space, somewhere you’re most at ease in your element.”

 “It IS my space, and my world. But I’d like to show it to you and share it to you. I want to share everything with you…” He’s quiet, voice open and innocent.

“I’ve never been able to share it with someone I loved before. Chrissie never liked it, Anita already had her own stage... It’s something I love and I’m proud of and I enjoy, and I’d only love it more if you were there.” Though his words are conversational, he’s gently grinding his hips up into your ass, lids fluttering at the feeling.

Your eyes close at the feeling of him beneath you, your breath hitching in your throat.

“I-I would love to do that Bri.. it s-seems so fascinating and fast paced.. I-I think I would really like it.” You open your eyes, hands going into his hair, tugging his lips towards yours, groaning when his arms tighten around your waist, holding you close.

“Besides, I really wanna fuck you against an amp…it’s not fair how goddamn hot you look on that stage.”

He laughs, wrinkling up his nose a little.

“Fuck me against an amp? That doesn’t sound very comfortable.” He teases, cheeks flushed a little at the thought. He always got amped up after shows, his adrenaline pumping. The thought of fucking you after coming off stage, the crowd still roaring.... fuck, he wanted that.

Noticing the blush on his face and chest, you can’t help but smirk, leaning forward to lick a stripe from his Adam’s apple to his ear, loving the way he shuddered under you.

“No? Well... I guess I can just take care of myself backstage if you don’t want me to fuck you.”

You love teasing him more than should probably be allowed, the way he would stutter and blush, and sometimes just absolutely lose control and fuck you senseless… it was a nice game of roulette.

He clenches his jaw, growling a little

“No you won’t. You’ll wait for me to be done performing like a good little girl.” His hands move to your ass, squeezing gently.

“You’ll wait as long as it takes and you won’t touch yourself.” He hums softly, as if thinking.

“Sometimes I’ll practice beforehand in my dressing room. I’ll turn up the volume and let you ride the amp, if you’re that desperate.” Bingo.. that’s exactly what you had been hoping for.. God, you loved it when he was dirty and degrading with you.. usually he didn’t do this, he felt bad for it.. but fuck did you love it. Biting your lip, you start to grind yourself against his cock, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“But what if I don’t wanna be a good girl daddy? What if I wanna be a brat and make you mad? What if that’s what your baby girl wants?” You have to admit.. riding his amp.. feeling the vibrations from red.. god, it was unlike anything you’d ever imagined.

He slaps your ass, jaw clenching.

“Then you can have your own fucking fingers, and I won’t touch you.” He arches a brow at you. “That’s what you want, right? To get off whenever you want?”

A shocked gasp escapes your mouth at his smack, arousal folding your cunt. “N-no, wanna get off with you, wanna have you fuck me until I can’t walk anymore daddy...”

You clench your eyes shut when he smacks your ass again, a small whimper breaking free. “But I-I wanna be naughty too daddy, wanna be a brat.”

“Well naughty girls don’t get this fat cock.”

You whimper and he cocks his head to the side.

“Maybe I’d fuck your throat. Use you, and then leave you be.” He sighs.

“Because no matter how bad you are, I suppose I can’t find someone else. And I’ve got to get off some way.” He says the words lightly, sighing as if put out, but he squeezes your hip gently, hoping to get across that it’s part of this game you’re playing. That he’d never dream of fucking someone else; never want to. You were it for him, and he knew that you knew that.

You’re genuinely surprised by his words and how insanely hot they’re making you.

“No, daddy, no I’ll be good for you, I promise, d-don’t want you going to find someone else, o-only want you to use me as a cum dumpster daddy.” You whimper loudly, grinding harder, loving the way his robe was rubbing you.

“Only want you to use me to fill up with your cum.. p-please daddy I’ll be good for you, I’ll take every drop.”

He is absolutely breathless, your words making him feel hot all over.

“Jesus, Y/N…” He swallows hard, moaning a little as your roll your hips against his.

“Well you’re not being very good right now, are you? Grinding against me right here in the kitchen. Naughty little thing.”

You bite your lip, hands tightening in his hair.

“I-I’m sorry daddy, I’ll be good, b-but your c-cock is just so fucking addicting, and I n-need you!” You halt your grinding even though you know you’d catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

“W-will you pl-please fuck me daddy? P-pretty p-please? I’ll be so good for you, I-I promise.”

He arches a brow, leaning back in his chair.

“Get off my lap.” His voice is more even than he thought it would be, and he’s thankful for it. You don’t move and he smacks your ass, voice hardening. “I said, get off my lap, Y/N.”

You know that your eyes are probably as wide as saucers, your breath catching in your throat at his harshness, but, you do as he asks, stumbling off of his lap, falling to the ground in your haste to move.

“Shit, I-I’m sorry daddy, I-I didn’t mean to make you mad... I’ll be good I p-promise.” You scramble to get up, only wanting to do whatever you can to please him, to make him know that you would be good.

Brian swallows hard, his head a little dizzy from how much blood was rushing to his cock. Jesus, he was so turned on it wasn’t even funny. And you hadn’t said no, or safeworded out. You were a dream. He scoots his chair back from the table before gesturing to the empty spot in front of him. “Take off your robe and bend over the table. Legs spread.”

You quickly do exactly what he says, shakily taking off your robe and throwing it on the chair you’d previously vacated, leaving you stark naked in front of him. You’re surprised that your legs are actually working, and you stumble your way to the table, bending over exactly as he’d requested, your naked cunt and ass on full display.

“N-now what daddy?” You were so eager to please him, and GOD was this a stark contrast to last night’s events. But that’s what you loved about your relationship with Brian... it was never the same thing, always evolving and always changing.

 He bites his lip, hands coming up to palm your ass before spanking it, watching it jiggle.

“Fuck you look so good like this, honey.” He tugs his robe open, leaning back in his chair and starting to play with his cock.

“What do you want, baby girl?”

You don’t think you’ve ever been so goddamn turned on in your ENTIRE life, the way he was treating you, how rough and dominant he was being? You’d never seen this side of Brian and you were praying to god you never had to go without it ever again.

“W-want you to be rough with me daddy, want y-you to fuck me until I can’t w-walk and c-cum inside of me please” You whimper when he spanks you again, your cunt leaking heavily. “Want you t-to fill me up, I NEED your cum d-dripping out of me please daddy, I’ll do a-anything.” You knew that you should be embarrassed by your begging and desperation.. but you weren’t, not even close.

“God, you’re a whore.” His words are harsh, but his tone is impossibly fond. He sighs, moving his fingers to your dripping cunt, rubbing through your folds.

“You’re absolutely soaked.” He pulls his fingers away before giving your cunt a gentle slap, but a slap nonetheless, much like the slap you’d delivered to his balls the night before.

“O-oh! G-god—daddy please, need your cock!” Your head is firmly placed on the table, hands grasping the corner of the wood as hard as you can without hurting myself.

You had never been so desperate before, usually you were a champion for as much foreplay as humanly possible, but for some reason his attitude and words were just causing you to have a fucking aneurysm.

“Fuck me l-like the dirty little fucking w-whore I am daddy, need y-you to breed me and teach me a goddamn lesson!”

“Breed you?” His voice cracks a little, and he stands, palming your ass, spreading it and your cunt open,

“Want me to fuck a baby into you?” He doesn’t know why he’s saying it, especially when he knows he more than likely can’t do that.

“I’ll bring you on tour with me just to fuck you full of cum every night.” His voice is hoarse as he steps closer, his cock brushing your thigh.

Your noises are pathetic, desperate and wanton.. the kitchen sounds more like a bordello at this point.

“Y-yes Brian, p-please fuck a baby in me daddy, wanna be so full of your cum, and t-then full with y-your baby!” The two of you hadn’t exactly discussed this aspect of your relationship but... you wouldn’t complain if it happened.

“I-is that a promise daddy? You promise to fuck me hard as full every night before and after? I wanna b-be dripping with your cum w-while you’re on stage p-performing for thousands.. me-meanwhile I’m backstage, your cum running d-down my leg...” You press your ass into him, wiggling a little, just trying to get some relief.

He just pushes your legs further apart, making you rest completely against the table. He slips a hand up to your shoulders, pressing against you while his other hand wraps around his cock. He strokes the head up and down your folds, shuddering a little at the feeling.

“Only if you’re good for me, baby girl. You can have all the cum you want as long as you’re good.” He murmurs, teasing at your entrance.

You shudder completely at his words, at the tone of his voice, how his hand feels splayed completely across your back, the way his breath is hot on your neck.

“I-I’ll be good! I-i promise daddy, I’ll be s-so good for you.” You’re near tears at this point, just so incredibly desperate for his cock to be inside you that you can’t control your emotions anymore.

“P-please n-need to feel your cum s-seeping out of me daddy, please, n-need your baby inside of me...”

He can’t take it anymore—shoves himself inside you with one quick stroke and doesn’t let up, not letting you adjust. He just holds you down on the table, one hand on your neck, the other gripping your ass, slapping it every now and then as he absolutely rails you. He doesn’t know where his energy is coming from, but he’s fucking you hard, as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck, your greedy little cunt is taking me so good. You’re such a fucking slut—"

The little scream you let out at his ferocity and sudden intrusion would be enough to garner attention from neighbors if it hadn’t been lunch time on a Thursday. Clenching tightly around his cock, your hands grip the table like it’s the only thing on earth that can keep you from disappearing into the atmosphere. “F-fuck—daddy, y-you’re s-so f-fucking big!” You somehow manage to hitch out the words, your face firmly smashed against the overly expensive wood of the table. Our breakfast was still lying right beside you while Brian went to town on your cunt. He’d never been this hard and rough, but you wanted more.

“C-cmon daddy, y-you can do b-better than that! F-fuck you’re little g-girl’s cunt like you m-mean it!”

 He slaps your ass again, thrusting somehow harder, putting his whole weight into it, grinding a little into you each time. “You’ll fucking take what I give you.” He growls, his hand moving from your neck to your hair, tugging on it, making you arch your back a little.

“Wish I could tie you up all day—leave you open and wanting for me. I can just use you whenever I want. Make a mess of you.” The noises filling the kitchen are obscene, his hips crushing against your ass, going so hard that his balls are swinging to slap against your clit.

 You’re already so close, his cock was pressing deliciously into your g-spot, his balls slapping your clit at a speed and harshness that was sending you closer and closer to tipping over the edge.

“W-want that so much d-daddy, wanna h-have you u-use me whenever you w-want!” You’re trying your best to push away your orgasm, not wanting to cum just yet, and knowing that he probably wouldn’t let you, you had to be good for him, had to do what he wanted…

“D-daddy, I-I’m so close c-can I c-cum all over your cock? P-please daddy?”

 Brian hauls you up a little by your hair, just to let his hand slip over your throat, holding you there, making you balance yourself at an angle where all your weight is essentially onto his cock. Still, he pounds into you, eyes sweeping over the scene you make in front of him.

“You wanna cum already? What a little whore you are.” He makes a disappointed sigh, tutting at you.

“Fine. Cum if you need to. But I’m not stopping.”

The new angle somehow sends him deeper into your cunt that he’s ever been before, his tip prodding your cervix.

“C-cumming for you d-daddy—" You gasp out, his hand closing a little tighter on your throat as you do so, your head leaning back to rest on his shoulder as your orgasm hits you, the intensity of it causing you to genuinely feel like you’re passing out, and you genuinely think you blackout for second.

He curses up a storm as you cum, but doesn’t let up his thrusting. He just plunges himself over and over into you, biting at your neck and shoulder as he lets out strangled moans. He holds you up against him, one hand on your neck, the other on your hip “There’s my naughty girl—just can’t fucking help yourself, can you? God, I can feel you dripping down my balls, even. You’re so dirty.”

 His incessant pounding brings you back to earth, your overly sensitive cunt clenching around his cock again and again.

“I-it’s all for you daddy, m-my cum I-is all yours!” You reach behind you, grasping onto Brian’s neck to try and hold yourself up a little. You can feel his cock grinding and bumping your cervix with every thrust, the noises bouncing off of the overly large kitchen making your cunt tingle even more. You were faster approaching another orgasm, and you knew he was close too, but you didn’t want this to end.

His hands moves from your hip to your clit, rubbing the slick little nub quickly. You gasp and try to arch away from the touch, oversensitive, but you’re literally impaled on his cock. You can’t really move, and he knows it

“Fucking take it, Y/N. You’re gonna take it, and you’re gonna cum again, and maybe then—maybe then I’ll give you want you want.” God, he was so close, his balls tight against his body. It was taking all he had to hang on.

“Y-yes sir, I-I’m g-gonna—" You cut yourself off with a scream, cunt spasming, ejaculation shooting from your pussy, covering Brian’s cock, his thighs, god y-you’d just fucking squirted all over him, in the KITCHEN. It was just as intense as the first orgasm, probably because of how insanely sensitive you already were, your cunt holding his cock hostage inside, your walls tightening around him, the only thing keeping you standing being his arms which were tight around your neck and stomach.

“Oh, fuck—yes, there’s a good girl.” He growls out, eyes rolling back in his head as you squirt all over him, drenching his cock. It’s what he’d wanted; what he knew he could get you to do if he tried had enough. You’d done it once before, completely on accident, and you’d been completely embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it. But to him? God, it was the hottest thing he’d ever felt. And to feel it around his cock? Well needless to say, he was cumming pretty quickly soon after, still pressed right up against your cervix, coating your insides as his balls pulsed. He moans into your neck, legs trembling, but managing to keep you both upright.

“T-there ya go d-daddy, o-oh my god, f-fuck daddy, f-fill me up!” You gasp and whimper as his cum shoots into you, the warm and strange feeling coursing through your abdomen, filling you completely. God, he’d cum inside of you before, but never this much, he had NEVER cum this hard before...

“G-gonna give me a baby aren’t you Bri? Oh yes baby, god—you’re gonna fuck me full until I’m pregnant baby, fuck!” If it happened, it happened, and I wasn’t going to complain, certainly not if it happened from THIS.

 He just lets out an undignified whimper, hips still rutting into you. He can feel his legs around to give out, so he falls back clumsily into the chair, taking you with him. He lets you rest your head back against his neck as he pulls your legs open, spreading you out. God, if anyone were to walk in right now, you’d be on full display. He groans at the thought, his cock twitching again inside you. He’d never thought about sharing you before—why was he in such a mood today? He sneaks a hand down, fingertips toying with your slick clit, humming when you whimper.

The whimper is weak and barely audible to you, your head lolling to rest on his shoulder, your mouth wide, cunt aching in the best possible way.

“G-god B-Bri I-I’m s-so sensitive...” You didn’t want him to stop necessarily, I mean, his cock was still hard and twitching inside of you... that had NEVER happened and he was.. he was so fucking hard and horny today, and you had no idea what was causing it, but you started to grind against his cock, riding him,.

He coos to you, shushing you softly.

“I know, baby girl. Do you want me to stop?” He presses a kiss to your shoulder gently, just using his thumb to rub up and down on your clit, breath hitching as it makes you squeeze around his cock. He knew he’d slowly be softening, though this was the longest he’d stayed hard in a long time.

You shake your head frantically, whimpering as his fingers continue rubbing you “N-no! G-god no Bri, w-wanna cum on your cock again, w-wanna keep y-you hard a-as long as I c-can!” You knew that he was usually so self-conscious about his ability to stay hard, so you just wanted to make him feel better about himself. You also just wanted to see how many times he could make you cum.

He shudders, nuzzling into your shoulder.

“You’re such a greedy girl.” He murmurs. He’s rubbing your clit quickly, but trying to keep his touch light. He wants to make you feel good, not hurt.

“You’re so good for me, Y/N, love. You’re such a good girl.” He moans, feeling you squirm and flutter around his cock. “You feel so good.”

Your cunt is clenching and quivering around his cock, his fingers softly grazing your clit, and thanks to your previous 2 orgasms, that’s all it takes for your third orgasm to wrack your body, sending you clenching hard around his cock, your hands clutching into the back of his head, your hips moving involuntarily on him.

“I-I l-love you so much Bri, o-oh fuck honey! Y-you’re so good to me!” This orgasm isn’t as intense as the first 2, but to be honest you weren’t sure anything could ever compare to those.

He moans, gasping for air as you flutter around his softening cock, squeezing some of his cum out of you. It drips dirty down his thighs and balls, and he curses.

“F-fuck, babygirl—I love you too, so much— Such a good girl, honey. There you go. It’s alright.” He rubs your stomach gently.

His words and actions are so soft and gentle, causing a small smile to pull at your features.

“Jesus Christ Bri, w-what’s gotten into you honey? That was insane…”

You giggle, turning your head so you can place a sloppy kiss to his stubbly cheek, hand running over the other side of his face. “Amazing and incredible... but insane.”

Brian blushes, leaning down to press a million little kisses over your skin.

“I’m sorry, honey. I... I don’t Know, really. We were just talking and it.... escalated.” He snorts at his own description of what had just happened.

“Are you alright? Let’s get you up and get you clean. I’m sorry I was so rough.”

You chuckle and shake your head, squeezing his thigh.

“I’m fine honey, god, I’m more than fine. I liked it, SO much.” You’re still trying to catch your breath, his hand on your stomach. The touch is making you think about the words you’d exchanged, the implications of what you’d just done.. the evidence of which was running out of your cunt.

“Bri... I meant what I said earlier..about you…” You clear your throat, a little embarrassed. “About you fucking a baby in me...”

 His breath catches, fingers splaying out over your stomach. His heart sinks a little, and he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“I... I wish I could give that to you.” He’s quiet, voice a little sad.

“I just don’t know that’s possible for me, anyone.” He hides his face into your neck, trying to apologize.

Your own heart sinks a little as well, not at the implications of his words, but at the fact that he felt so guilty about it, the fact that he might not be able to give you a baby.

“Hey, Bri, honey…” You turn around in the chair, his soft cock falling free, a combination of your cum flowing freely from your cunt now. Brushing your hand over his face, you trace your thumb under his eye where a single tear has fallen. “It’s okay.. I-I don’t need anything else but you… if a baby happens, that’s great, but if not, I’m perfectly content with just having and loving you.”

 He sniffles, nodding quickly, embarrassed that he was crying. He hugs you tight, arching up to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“ know... I know, I just... I wish...” He swallows hard.

“I wish we could. I wish I were younger.” He murmurs. It’s all dreams and nonsense, he knows, but it doesn’t stop him from wishing.

You give him a gentle smile, leaning in to kiss him. “I don’t…” He gives me a look, eyebrows raised in disbelief. You laugh, kissing him a few hundred times.

“I’m serious Brian, we met right when we needed to.. if you’d met me 20 or so years ago we never would’ve worked, mainly because I was a baby...” You try to be funny, giggling at your own joke.

“And that would’ve been a little bit more intense in the media than us today, if you can believe that.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.” He pokes your side, shaking his head. He sighs, looking up at you.

“Maybe we wouldn’t have worked out. But maybe we would have. Maybe we would’ve been good. Maybe you would’ve... kept me good.” His eyes are a little watery, his insecurities showing through.

“Oh honey.” You wrap your arms around his head, pulling him close, allowing his head to rest on your neck.

“You are good Bri, yeah you’ve made some mistakes in your past, and you’ve done something’s that were less than okay…” He sniffles, making your arms tighten.

“But they made you who you are today, they made you the Brian that I love more than anyone else in the world.. without the mistakes you made, you wouldn’t have learned from them, and you probably wouldn’t be able to cherish and love me the way you do...”

He nods, listening to you for once, just holding you tightly. He was always... overly conscious of his mistakes. His past self and past behavior. He missed being younger, especially with you. He wanted to do so much more than he could with his old body. But then again, he’s sure his younger self would have done something unforgivable. He was stupid. He still was; last night had proved that, but he thought it was a little better.

“I love you…”

You pull him back enough to place a kiss to his forehead, threading your fingers through his hair.

“I love you too silly, so much.” His hands are running up and down your sides, his lips pressing into your neck. You felt so loved and safe, almost like everything that happened last night was just a dream, a bad dream, but only a dream. With Brian, you felt like a better person, which you guess was the best thing to say, because when you’re with someone you love, you’re supposed to feel like a better person… He brought out the best side of you possible, and you were beyond lucky and blessed to have him in your life, holding you in the kitchen of your London flat, the breakfast he’d made you turning cold. Breakfast that he’d fucked you  within an inch of your life next to.

“I just can’t believe you made me squirt in the kitchen Brian.. sounds like a song from fucking Aerosmith…” You chuckle brightly, kissing his nose.

Brian laughs loudly, his head thrown back against the chair.

“If Freddie’d had his way, it could’ve sounded like one of our songs. But even Roger veto’d some of the dirtier ones.” He sighs, stretching his legs a little.

“I’m actually quite proud of myself for the mess. But I’ll clean it up. Do you want to get into a bath?” He squeezes your hips, smiling up at you.

You moan at the thought of a bath, the wetness between your thighs starting to get a little nasty. “You should be very proud of yourself, maybe you can make me do that once a week from now on.”

You wriggle your eyebrows, smirking when he blushes before leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss, getting up off of his lap with shaky legs, you actually greatly resemble a baby deer.

“A bath sounds great by the way, I feel like a French whore at the moment, so some lavender bath salts would really do the trick.”

He can’t help but laugh at your unsteady gait, but quickly masks his smile when you give him a glare. He stands, walking over to put an arm around your waist and lead you up the stairs.

“Well, I’ll make you a lovely lavender bath, and while you’re doing that, I’ll clean everything up downstairs. Maybe I’ll make us some tea, too. How’s that sound?”

 You give him a pleasure filled smile, cupping his face before placing a sound kiss to his lips.

“It sounds like you’re making me the most spoiled and loved woman in the whole of London.” You giggle when he starts kissing your neck, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck as he dips you. “Brian! Your scruff is gonna give me beard burn.” You’re laughing hard, my heart lighter than its felt in years.

“Love, I hate to break the news to you, but I think you probably already have beard burn—everywhere.” He chuckles, kissing you once more before heading for the bathtub, busying himself with making you the nicest bath in the entire world. He had a plethora of different bath salts and bath bombs, etc, and he wanted to make everything perfect for you.

You sit on the counter, on a towel of course, watching Brian get the tub ready, feeling beyond happy and at ease. After a while he claps his hands together and helps me down, helping me into the tub.

“Godddddd, you always get these so perfect honey…” You sink into the water, allowing the smells of lavender and oranges to sooth you, the warmth of the water making your sore legs and pussy relax and feel 100x better.

“Please hurry your cleaning so you can come keep me company...” You pout at him, your eyes big and innocent. He laughs, and leans forward to give you a quick kiss, his hand threading through your hair. “I’ll try my best.”

He moves to clean himself up as well, watching you in the mirror, smiling widely when he sees your head drooping to the side. Shaking his head, he bends down beside you, bathing you while you sleep, your mouth open just a tad. Once he’s bathed you, he brushes a strand of hair from your forehead and grabs a bath pillow from the cabinet, for once incredibly excited that you had such an obsession with bath gadgets. Propping your head up, and once he’s satisfied that you wouldn’t drown, he stands, wincing a bit at the pain in his knees, before heading to the door. Brian spares you another look, smiling fondly… Sure, things were tough, it wasn’t going to be an easy go of things… but he didn’t care. Last night, the earth shattering pain he’d felt when you ran out, it only confirmed to him that he couldn’t live without you, and he knew you wouldn’t let him.

tags: @meddows-taylors @toomuchlove-willkillyou @brianmayoucease @leah-halliwell92 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @mariekuuuuuh @unofficialbillnye @stephydearestxo @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @danamaleksworld @dereones98 @glasgowkisschelseasmile @awkwardangelshezza @bellamy1998 @psychosupernatural @warren-lauren @womanwithahotdogstand @oujiacallme @harrisunn @anotheronebitesthedeaks @stormtrprinstilettos @get-on-your-bikes-and-ride @amor-libre @marymaia00 @ellywritesfics @simonedk @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @sam-mercury-sixx @horrorsinwonderland @toomuchtellyneck @asgardianvamp21 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @marvelstuck @softboydeacon @a-queen-on-her-throne @roger-bang-the-drum @frannyxc @mrsmazzellotaylor @reedusteinrambles @drowseoftaylor @doubledeaky @indieblair @freddiedearfriend @subbysharkbabe