#i try to genuienly be engaged

[meowyl]

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[domoriu]

i have some questions and i was wondering if you could answer them because you’re one of my favorite writers on here. plus you’re stories and vibe are very similar to mine so i’d love to here your POV!

do you have any advice and this on how to start a fanfic writing account? (on tumblr!)

how to make write good as in flow, wording, better sentences, etc? ik for this one it’s going to take practice but since i write a little already i was wondering how to make my writing actually sound good? (because urs is amazing!)

tips on motivation to write and post?

how is it as a writer on onedoorblr? (fics for bonedo) in terms of like the space to be able to post “different” stories. (hybrid, abo, freakysmutlol, femdom, dark as in tragedy’s and horror.) plus interactions, notes/likes?

sorry if this is a lot but i didn’t know who else to ask and you feel like a safer option to me of that makes sense? anyways we all love you and your stories a lot! 🩶 i hope the rest of your week is amazing (*^_^*)

OKAY I HAD TO GET ON MY LAPTOP TO ANSWER THIS ONE SINCE ITS A LOT!! also sorry if my advice is a little weird ive genuienly been in the fanfic scene for like 8 years now since i was 11 so i dont even know the answer to these myself (not my proudest moments btw...) so i'll try to give the best advice i can <3

1. i think... start off by finding a username that you think suits you a lot, and then worry about theme and all that just so your account looks good to your own eyes i think that'll really help with getting motivated to write (for me at least) and also really just have fun with it !! figuring out what you want to do on your page is also important so you can set those boundaries for yourself as well as the people engaging in your content but also always remember its your page so you can really do whatever you please. and dont be too discouraged by numbers because once you feel like its not fun and you're putting too much pressure on yourself it gets hard to make content.

2. for word building/flow all that kind of stuff... really imagine the scenarios in your head (maybe even act them out if you can, to make sure everything is flowing properly) if you're writing smut, what helps me is i look up sex positions or look up porn to get a good idea on the positioning and how to write things out. for word flow, i always have a thesaurus tab open that way i'm not using the same basic words repeatedly (this is probably the most helpful piece of advice imo, i love the thesaurus super bad) and also if you ever feel like the work isn't good or needs a little tweaking id say read it over, try to read it from the pov of someone who's reading your work for the first time or even get someone to beta read for you and give suggestions for any errors or anything that needs a bit of tweaking

3. for motivation, write down the gist of any idea you have down immediately because you might forget it or you'll just never have the motivation to really finish it. i have so many fic ideas locked away in a vault because i started writing the idea when the excitement for it died down or i completely lost motivation to write it because my brain wanted to move onto another fic idea.

write on your own schedule. just because you have a following doesn't mean you need to put out a new fic every single day, give yourself time to recollect your thoughts and work on a piece where you can put all of your attention into so you can be truly proud of your work !! because what's the point of writing something if you yourself don't even like it. and a lot of us have lives outside of tumblr, so don't pressure yourself to constantly write because soon you might get burnt out. i think having people who actually like my works is a lot of motivation as well as not feeling rushed to put things out so its like a little treat when i post something big

4. i love the people on onedoorblr !! the community isn't super big but she's growing a lot since i joined this fandom in april... and id say the range is pretty good with the people on here and everyone has their own unique things going on. i think its a pretty safe space here to write about "different" stuff, a lottt of my mutuals are all on the femdom kick when it comes to bonedo and there's a good balance of smut writers and people who write more fluffy things, i'm not sure how common the abo/hybrid/dark content fics are on onedoorblr since i don't tend to read fics in those categories but i have seen a couple hybrid bnd fics in passing !

since bnd tumblr is still kind of small you might not get a lot of notes upfront but it definitely builds up, unlike nct/enha/riize tumblr where you can basically get around 500/1k+ notes on a post within a couple days it might take a week or two also depending on who you write about. but don't get discouraged by it !! some members are just more popular in the fanfic world than others

i hope this was helpful and dont be afraid to ask any more questions >_< thank you soso much for liking my works and im glad u feel like my page is a safe space for questions that means a lot to me !! i hope your week is amazing as well <33

[felikatze]

I know people are mad that feh keeps trying to queer bait with chrom and robin but on the contrary I think they should keep going. It's the funniest and cutest ship ever

(Also at this point, it's on the same level as ninian and eliwood for being implied canon 😭)

me on discord ten minutes ago

the people demand chrobin and if you dont then die mad i guess. the gays keep winning.

i'm just convinced someone on the dev team loves chrobin. i am VERY MUCH looking forward to brave robin's forging bonds bcuz i want to see how blatant it is. i want chrobin to be fe destiel.

elinini canon so true also (<- started shipping it bcuz manakete roy is the funniest shit on earth but just genuienly likes it now)

ngl FE has made a lot of stride with queer rep. like yeah sure it started rough with the gay marriage options in fates with active gameplay downsides, but 3h was a HUGE step up with legitimate gay options (even if us mlm had it. ROUGH. at launch. god) + paired endings for same gender characters, and now engage doing away with the gender lock on supports altogether.

not to dismiss rep outside of supports, too. the tellius games already gave us the subtextually not so subtly gay ike, and the very blatantly gay heather. echoes had leon, who was SO important to me as a kid cuz he made me realize gay people r real, and that i am one of them. well bi but same difference.

post awakening in particular the series has ramped up queerness with every installment (often clumsily, but i believe well intentioned), that at this point it does not suprise me to see chrobin pushed as a gay pairing (especially when a straight version is readily available!)

like. gay marriage was still illegal in the US when awakening came out. gay marriage is still illegal in japan. it has been a LITERAL DECADE since the game launched and the cultural conciousness around queerness has shifted A LOT.

chrobin already reads as incredibly queer within just awakening itself, so rather than baiting it feels like this is all just building on what's present in the game itself. chrom and robin could get married in the game already - if robin's a woman. and if you know me, you know i think chrobin significantly enhances the story of awakening for a variety of reasons. they just took that, said "hey, what if we can do this with male robin too" and then. did.

waxed philosophical on queerness in fire emblem again because FE just played a huge fucking role in my own queerness even before i grew hopelessly obsessed with it this year.

anyway yeah tldr chrobin rocks haters die mad

[balkanradfem]

So I got a lot of backlash on my substance commentary, and this surprised me, because I didn't think people were going to read that at all. I was looking trough the comments and found a lot of anger, and some of it didn't feel like the regular misogyny, people were genuienly upset. I didn't find any arguments that debunk what I said, so I didn't feel the need to engage, but I understood that people really liked this movie, and it meant something to them, they needed to defend it even if they had no arguments to do so. I thought about it for a while, and watched the 'Final Girl Studios' commentary on youtube, which confirmed my own thoughts.

I was able to criticize this movie the way I did, because I was not the target audience. Rather, I'm as far from target audience as it's possible to be. And I perceived the theme wrong. This movie wasn't really trying to make social commentary or depict the evil of the beauty industry, it was merely – a representation of it. And people felt represented by it. Seeing a woman struggle with self hatred about her appearance, about aging, about eating food, or even appearing in public due to how she would be perceived, that is a common struggle of girls and women, and women felt represented by it. Even the part of the movie where the protagonist is depicted as vain and shamed for struggling, was just representation, that's how it feels.

I somehow evaded the femininity struggle, eating struggle, age struggle and the appearing in public struggle, because I could opt out, my survival never depended on it. My job never depended on it. I could just go 'I'm ugly and I'm going to do physical labour and its fine' as a child and never tried to adjust my appearance to fit social standards. Which now feels like a privilege, because despite believing myself ugly, I didn't have to sink into a hell of eating disorders or equate my appearance with my value, I could just not care. So seeing women struggling with that hell hole just made me horrified, when for a woman who goes trough all of this on a daily basis, this is just her normal, this is representation.

So sorry to all the people I made angry with my criticism! I came from a place of ignorance of what your experience is like, and looking at it from outside, it looks horrifying, inhumane, and like a torture to me. I didn't experience it from the inside, so I could only see what the movie failed to do – focus on the root of the problem and explore why things are the way they are. We're not there yet.

If we're coming from a place where the struggle with eating disorders, aging, and beauty standards for women is invisible, then visible representation of it is the next step, the only direction we could go to. To me this felt like not good enough, but we can only take steps forwards, we can't take leaps. I think once we do make this struggle visible enough, we can take the next step and look at who benefits, why is beauty industry like this, who made it, who wants it to continue, who profits off of it, who is getting off to it, who are women dying to try to please, why are women even subjected to the option of 'aging out of a job'.

And also, a way out of it! One reason the movie hit me wrong is because of how deliberate and planned it is; once the protagonist is trapped in changing her body to the beauty standards, there is no turning back for her. It's always going to turn out the way it does. She has to keep going until she is turned into something considered 'less human' by the social perception, and then die. But it never shows a way out of it, a way for it to stop, a way for her humanity to be reclaimed, for beauty standards to no longer matter. I think for this, human warmth is needed, representation of normal and unaltered womens bodies is needed, humanity given to bodies that are altered, positive representation of food is needed, positive representation of women's human needs, social needs, needs for attention, all these being fulfilled in a way that never brings any harm to her. But for that, we couldn't make a horror movie. It would have to be a warm movie about making women feel human again.

And I also think it's okay for me to want more, to think that we deserve more than just representation of suffering, of being dehumanized. It's okay for me to criticize a movie for failing to engage with the root of the problem! I am a radfem and this is my job. I think we deserve to see more than hopeless suffering of women, I think a movie could be both representative of suffering, and engage with the cause of it. Can you imagine if a movie like this made a paralel with a woman whose body was never altered, who had no makeup, and was perfectly happy and unbothered? Can you imagine if we even got a saw unaltered woman's body in a movie? Can you remember ever seeing that? We have the right to demand it! We should be represented in more than suffering. Our body is more than a horror movie.

Did anyone watch the horror movie 'The Substance'? I've seen it because someone recommended it to me, and I saw one of the three directors was female, but now I just have few thousands words of criticism and upset about it. Click if you want to read it. Tw for themes of women abused in tv industry and the fear of aging out of their jobs.

So, the substance is about a woman aging out of her role in television where she runs a fitness program, and she is distraught to realize she's going to get replaced. Sadly she blames her own aging process about it! She gets in an accident, and then a male nurse gives her an usb showcasing 'the substance', a serum that makes a younger version of you come out of your body.

She takes it, and her body opens up to let out a younger version, a different acctress, come out and look at herself in the mirror. I was already upset by this point about the depiction of a woman losing her job for aging and hating herself, and not the industry and the males in it, but now I was in disbelief. It was funny that they wanted me to believe another woman exited from her back and didn't break her spine in the process, whatever, but now she was in a new body, and immediately went 'yas slay look how hot I am' Excuse me what?

I thought, at least one part of the horror would be feeling off and alien if forced to switch consciousness to another body, a body that is unfamiliar, that you didn't grow with, it would be traumatizing. No matter how much more 'socially likeable' a new body was, I can't imagine looking at my own hands and legs and having them look completely different, and being okay about it. It would cause a crisis in anyone, your identity would be in shambles. You couldn't get used to it, you'd have trouble looking at the mirror at all, and would forget it and constantly be reminded of it when seeing glimpses of your own hands, and it would shock and disturb you every time. How would you talk to your friends and family now? How would you deal with people you loved who couldn't recognize you? It would be mentally scarring.

If she had one single friend to talk about this, the entire premise would fall apart because it would become obvious that this is stupid and shouldn't be done.

Watching on it turned out they cut this woman out from any social context of her life. She had no friends, no family, not even any acquaintances. The only person who ever talked to her was one(1) single ex classmate, and other than that, she seemed to have zero people in her life who even knew she existed. But there's nobody like that. Yes, you can be socially isolated, but hardly to the point where nobody in the world knows you exist. If you go outside people memorize you. She didn't have anyone who knew her. She was supposed to be a popular figure on tv. But she didn't exist. This woman had no past, no existence in anyone's world, no connections to other people whatsoever. It made her less of a believable character to me. Nobody can exist completely out of social context of their life. We didn't get an explanation of why she has no family, or friends or acquaintances, or past loves, or anything like that. It was almost like she was now so irrelevant due to her age that the world just cut her out, which is scary but also ridiculous, she looked young!!

Another glaring flaw in the movie was that... the older woman in the movie was so clearly more attractive than the younger. They tried to shoot her face in harsh lightning and highlight whatever they thought was wrong with her body, but she just looked excellent under any kind of standards. What do you mean this teenager is 'hotter' than the original protagonist. She looks 17, she looks like she shouldn't be allowed outside after dark. The idea of her being filmed by older males gave me nausea, get that child away from them. I had to skip most of the scenes with her because it looked like child pornography. They had her wearing breast prostetics to make her look adult and put her in clothing no woman alive would find appealing or comfortable to wear, it was painful, uncomfortable and horrifying.

The entire existence of the younger woman was dehumanizing. She didn't eat. She didn't watch tv. She didn't do anything human. She was a male idea of a 'hot young girl', who only existed to look like what males think is appealing, dance on stage, and get male approval. That's it, we never see her exhausted, sad, commiserating how difficult it is to be around males who objectify you all day, we never see her complain about sexualizing and so obviously ignored sexual harassment she was put trough – the movie acted like sexual harassment didn't exist. Males around her appeared to only care about how much money she could make them and even though that was disgusting too, I don't believe for a second that a woman in that scenario doesn't get extensively sexually harassed. But the movie skipped over that. Like it just didn't matter. She doesn't have mental health issues because she's an attractive female child on television. She isn't human to them.

The younger woman had to switch bodies with her original counterpart weekly, and at first I found these little moments soothing, because the older woman was clearly showing signs of pain, hunger, exhaustion, irritation, depression. I thought 'oh, there's the humanity I was missing!' and was just happy to see her eat something. But then, to my horror, these little moments of humanity were ... demonized. The fact that she was eating was a flaw and a failure in the movie. She was depicted as addicted to food, jealous, bitter, angry and like giving in to any human urge for entertainment and rest was her 'wasting her life'. I was chilled by this notion, because I realized that's how males see female needs in real life. A waste.

Another thing I found upsetting was the amount of completely naked scenes the acctresses had to go trough, because I can't imagine anyone feeling okay and comfortable with being filmed like that. It felt invasive and uncomfortable for me to see. I knew it was done like this for male satisfaction, it wasn't catered to me. It disturbs me to think they felt comfortable looking at that. Female discomfort is a source of pleasure to them.

The movie progresses in the protagonist taking more and more time being in the younger body, resulting in the older body deterioration. She ends up feeling like she's two people, which is logical at least; you would feel like you're someone else if you're a different body, it at least displayed that little bit of 'you are your body' consequences. The male nurse who gave her the substance starts stalking her, and talking to her in public, and I found this part interesting. The male tried to get her to relate to him, said things like '7 days is long' and 'has she started eating at you already', and to me it became obvious that the male nurse knew exactly what this was going to do to her, and did it anyway. Because he felt lonely and wanted a female companion who also switches bodies. He picked her out and victimized her because he wanted company who also suffered and struggled with the same problem, he spread the misery for his own benefit. I thought we were going to look at that? I thought we would unpack that for a second? Male selfishness and bringing misery into female's life for their selfish purposes? But movie said no and we never see him again.

The younger version seems to forget she ever had any more age, and recklessly parties and does public events not caring that her counterpart is getting destroyed, until at the end, they both end up in some kind of monstrous shape, which okay, the extra teeth were fun, add extra teeth on women yes. But she is ultimately killed when appearing in on a social event looking like that. The ending just shows her dreaming about being famous and cheered on by the crowd, and it looks almost like the movie thinks her endless greed for glory and fame did this to her. Like this is her own fault, she destroyed the body she had in pursuit of eternal approval and gratification of a cheering crowd. I was looking at this like, who was this made for? Nothing about this clicks, is this for people obsessed with their own fame? Is this just a made up idea of what the world looks like for women who are trying to be famous? Because it wasn't clicking with any reality I was aware of.

We've listened to women going trough fame and popularity, and we know what these stories entail. First half of it is being introduced to it too young, forced into it by their parents or guardians, being overworked, missing on childhoods and schooling and family time, not getting enough sleep or rest, being pushed into substance abuse just to get trough the day. And then, endless sexualizing, endless situations where they're in the presence of predators and unprotected. The industry ruthlessly rejecting their personality and forcing them to mold into whatever the public wants, or the producer wants, having their identity crashing with the public opinion of them. Lack of privacy, lack of safety being outside, getting harassed and crowded on the street, not being allowed to live a normal life. Having body issues due to being forced to focus on how you look, because you're under constant scrutiny and now your job depends on how your body looks like, developing mental disorders due to lack of control over your life, and due to control you have to have over your every action. Having your opinions and wants dismissed because your word doesn't count in the industry when you're a woman, being forced to hide what people have done to you in private, often suffering sexual abuse and being forced to keep quiet if you want to keep your job. Breakdowns, suicidal thoughts, both fearing to lose relevancy and wanting out of the industry for your mental health, but it's all you've known and you don't know how to function otherwise. Getting jaded, realizing your own value drops with age, learning to despise everyone who took advantage of you and dropped you the second you weren't making them enough money. Being sick and tired of males talking down to you and dismissing your humanity. Not knowing where to turn for understanding and safety, because the charade has to keep on going in order for the industry to go on.

This is what I would expect a woman in the industry to have learned after being put trough all that, and instead the main character was so void of any backstory, any real experiences, any thoughts or criticism about it, any anger or bitterness about the abuse she'd have suffered in there, and was sorely upset about her lack of job security and that she was no longer looking like a commercial. She would have learned from this, that this is an inherently insecure job industry, it's not worth being in it, but she doesn't seem to learn this. She isn't even angry they hired someone else without telling her. All of her anger was directed towards herself. And the movie was not challenging it. It was saying 'yes, it is your own fault, both for aging, and for wanting not to age. Look what you did.'

And by the end of the movie, she was just the same as the beginning, still just longing for the fame and cheers. She is a character who is not allowed to learn from her experiences, in fact seems to have no experiences, even of the things that happened to her in the movie. She cared for nothing but male validation. She only seemed to care about the younger body for the sake of this validation. Even at the very end when she was killed by the same males who she gave everything to impress for, she wasn't mad at them. She just wanted more validation from them.

And I'm watching this thinking, this must be whats inside of a male brain. He did that because thats how he would act in this situation. Males are incapable of learning from experience, so they assume women are too. Males think that having a body of a young female in their posession would resolve all of their needs and desires, so they think for a woman that would work too, in fact that she would destroy herself to get there. The creepy male fantasy of what a woman would do. It was done to validate their dumb opinions.

One thing I was surprised with was the road not taken in this movie, because it had a lot of potential symbolism! The younger woman exiting the woman's body, was reminiscent of birth. When I noticed it's a different acctress, I thought maybe we were making a parallel of mothers and daughters. Because it's a thing that happens sometimes; women with daughters will look at the daughter and feel she is a prettier, younger version of themselves. It reminds them of their own potential when they were just children, before their lives got decided by marriage and male ownership. And when daughters start receiving male attention, due to the flock of predators always creeping by, mothers will sometimes forget that this is a child bonded and dependant on them, who is now in danger, and instead get jealous, and want that attention for themselves. They'll try to vicariously live trough their daughters, get themselves into the spotlight, or win attention of the males attracted to the child. It's a horrifying event each time, I was reminded by it while watching the movie, seeing how angry the woman was at the younger counterpart for partying, being on tv, being in the spotlight that was now unreachable for her. But the movie ignored this cruel reality as well.

The movie's conclusion is just 'this is somehow the woman's fault', while trying to be a movie about the pressure of the tv industry on women to not age. The pressure is real and experienced by all women, so the movie could have been about analyzing the source of it, showing us the other side of it, how dehumanizing and cruel the males are benefiting from this, how it makes absolutely no sense to cater to them or to care about what they think of female age and appearance. It could have been about male selfishness, greed, pedophilia and predatory nature, it could have pointed us in the horrifying direction of women sacrificing so much of their health and life only for males to have financial benefit and sexual gratification from it. It could have depicted how hard work of women is unappreciated and only rewarded with further abuse.

Instead it focused on pulling women inside out to make horror of their bodies, and depicted teenagers as the ultimate goals for anyone. I think that's where I experienced the most horror, seeing the younger version being dehumanized and depicted as a sexual dream, her every private action looking like a commercial, making her into a reduced non-human robot that only acts the way males think women should. And the woman who actually looked like an adult, was not allowed to learn, criticize, or long for anything except male validation, another fantasy that is as far removed from reality as possible.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

I'm a long time follower and I wanted to clarify your position before a misunderstanding gets out of hand. I've seen some recent posts by lie-where-i-land that had your name in them? I'm not gonna lie, it kind of worried me what you said, about it being pressuring or whatever. I was hoping to get a fuller picture and maybe see if your intent had been misrepresented by him?

Okay, here’s the clarification of my position. The short version is that I am not your enemy, but you may not like what you hear. This whole discourse is new to me, and I will freely confess that much of what is said on it does not make much sense to me. Based on what I have read and heard, this is what I do think.

I think that there is going to have to be dialogue and mutual understanding on trans issues between people with widely differing viewpoints. There is real hostility, and trans people genuienly are suffering, but I do not think that everyone who views things differently from you hates you or wishes you ill.

I not think that trans women are a threat to cis women. I disagree with women who do think that. But I think it is at least understandable, and worthy of engagement rather than flat condemnation and ostracism, that some women are concerned that if access to women-only spaces (of varying purposes, from changerooms to shelters to women’s prisons) is based solely on the assertion “I am a woman”, it makes it easier for cis men to access those spaces, with some attendant risks. I can understand why women, especially those who have been harrassed or assaulted by men, would be uncomfortable with that; I can understand why they would lash out at people who call them cruel and hateful and evil for feeling so. I think that, with regard to abused women’s shelters, the presence of someone whose physical appearance is that of a man could be traumatic to some people there. And I think that we need dialogue and an attempt at understanding in order to try to find compromises that fit the needs of all our communities. Cis women escaping abusive relationships need to be able to be and feel safe. Trans women escaping abusive relationships need to be and feel safe. I don’t think those things are incompatible, but I do think they require seriously listening to each other and working together. You may think the concern is invalid, but I think it is unwise to decide that anyone who feels it, or even accepts it as understandable, is your inveterate enemy.

A key point: I am not asking you to engage in this discussion or engagement on your tumblr or other social media. It is perfectly fine for your blog to be a safe space where you don’t have to deal with of this, and you have the ability to block people you don’t want to interact with or see posts from.

I’ve also heard other things from trans activists that feel very unreasonable, such as saying that it’s bigoted not to date people who are a sex you’re not attracted to. If a person, male or female, isn’t into penises, then they have every right not to date or have sex with someone who has one, regardless of that person’s gender identity. (They do not - this shouldn’t need to be said, but given the prevalence of hate crimes, does - have the right to become violent because someone’s body is not what they expected.) Likewise, it doesn’t seem strange or bigoted to me that some marriages would break up when one partner transitions. This seems to me to be of a piece with accepting the concept of sexual orientation. This viewpoint, too, which to me seems trivially obvious, I have seen called cruel and hateful.

Just from my cursory sense of social media, I find the term ‘terf’ overused towards people who aren’t radical feminists by any definition. (For reference, if you intend to use it about me, know that the radical feminists wouldn’t have me; I’m pro-life [on everything: anti-death-penalty, anti-euthanasia outside very limited cicrcumstances, anti-abortion - and pro-adoption, and supportive of giving single mothers all the health care and financial support they need to raise their child; against wars of choice; anti-poverty], which they would comsider an instant disqualification. I’m also not a ‘tradfem’; I haven’t married, don’t currently plan to, never want children, and am extremely glad to live in a time when I can do work that I enjoy and am good at and live largely as I please. I am a fairly normal, mundane feminist who cares about issues like, but not limited to, wage inequality, employer discrimination, and workplace sexual harrassment, as I expect many of you do.)

So, as a consequence of the above, the phrase “this person is a terf” has become something I regard with a degree of skepticism unless I can read and assess the person’s statements for myself, in context; and I very likely have a different standard for what I consider condemnable (or worthy of ostracism) than you do. It feels less like a meaningful description, and more like a cudgel.

I didn’t like what lie-where-i-land had to say, not at all, nor their tactics of vaguing about venwe without providing any clear statements of anything objectionable (stating that sex exists is about as simple a statement as saying that humans breathe oxygen; I’m certainly not going to shun someone for that) and then resorting to guilt-by-association (I don’t, and I expect most people don’t, vet all the political opinions of either the OP or other rebloggers before I reblog something by them; and I have followed and do follow people who I have strong political disagreements with on issues that are very important to me). And I really don’t like them doing it about someone brave enough to consider risking their safety by protesting against a brutal dictatorship. It feels reductive; as though a person can have dozens of good principles and actions, but if they are wanting on one note, they must be condemned and shunned.

Moreover, and finally: I’m not going to rigidly limit my friends or the blogs I follow based on their political opinions. I unfollow a blog if my aggravation from the things I disagree with outweighs the enjoyment of the things I do agree with, but I can follow a person while disagreeing strongly with them on some things. I have red lines, but they are not likely to be the same as yours; and I don’t think that I am obligated or to banish anyone who crosses your lines from the public sphere, or that you have a right to demand that I do so. I’m not even comvinced it’s healthy to do so - people won’t generally become less radicalized as a result of everyone but their fellow radicals refusing to speak with them. If you want me to stop interacting with someone because they have been personally harrassing you by, for example, posting hateful things on your personal posts, that’s reasonable; but none of the accusations made came anything close to that.

There’s a lot else I could say, but I’ll leave things here; I have at least tried to speak delicately and sensitively, though frankly, on the matter, and have held back a lot of frustrations that could be more strongly voiced. Given what I’ve seen elsewhere on tumblr, I suspect that posting this will turn out have been the most unwise thing I have yet done on this site; but you asked for clarification, so here it is.

[gayathreya]

regarding this post lol since i’m not the op and didn’t wanna spam it with lengthy takes if nobody wanted a long reblog chain

unetherealfeelings said: this makes complete sense and i would love nothing more than for some real LGBTQ representation but honestly speaking i don’t trust our country or the industries top filmmakers to make a solid film. The main reason i don’t see such a thing happening is because big stars such as vijay, ajith and even suriya are precisely that stars. The day they are regarded as actors and not stars i think will be the day we get to see content that’s plot and character driven rather than the nonsense we get now. These stars are more interested in giving what the audience what they want, an aggressively mysognistic hero who mansplains and harasses women while fighting “social causes” and apparently ending all the wrong in the world. And even if they somehow miraculously made such a film i would be scared at see how much they might fuck it up. The consequences of screwing up LBGT relationships in mainstream media are grave especially in the times we live and the extremist government and its followers. At the end of the day tho I think we are better off wishing queer representation from art house films that are actually interested in creating complex characters worth caring about. Maybe if these films are done right, we could be hopeful of such change in mass films :/ Having said that i think it’s so adorable to see queer characters being played by big stars, just imagining Suriyas eyes or Madhavans smiles has me soft HAHA

i definitely agree that tamil stars are very backward compared to stars from, say, the malayalam industry (both prithviraj and nivin pauly playing openly gay characters warrants praise ngl), and they’re way more concerned about their family and kids audience and stuff and how their image is projected to the masses. hence, the unending commercial potboilers we are made to witness year in and year out from them with only a little differentiation 

BUT i do say that suriya is a completely different type and level of star in relation to vijay and ajith. i can’t see the latter 2 doing anything in this capacity, but suriya is.. idk.. he’s somewhere in limbo with this. he’s the only big tamil star to have openly acknowledged and thanked a lgbt fanpage in his name, he liked a lgbt positive tweet when india repelled the law criminalising them, he’s the only one to have given money multiple times to trans groups during this lockdown period and made no grand air or speech about it. somehow, i CAN see him playing a queer character on screen, and his image is less massive than vijay or ajith, for which i am perpetually thankful, cos i never want him to become as huge as vijay or ajith in terms of this. of course he will still be cautious about it and i don’t present him to be some gay rights king championing lgbt discourse, but it’s a start and i definitely see him as the most feasible top star who could plunge into doing something like this on screen, because we know 2 reasonably big and important things in this context; in that 1) he’s very much aware of these issues, and 2) he’s 100% not homophobic/transphobic, and is an ally, neither of which we can surely claim about other stars in the industry cos we just never see them talk or engage with anything like this the way suriya has done

there’s always a possibility of messing up in tamil cinema when someone is pioneering a lgbt film with a big name, but i’d be more forgiving of it if they actually try? and then try again, and again. this is why i am not very interested in arthouse or small indie tamil films in this cos these films do not make a splash or is viewed by the masses. i think a big name attached to a project being openly queer in a film would do more wonders for pushing dialogue in this, even if it’s not a perfect film and there’re things i’d potentially take issue with. i’d still very much rather a top hero do it and they have proper lgbt consultants on set and with the script for sensitivity issues than wish for a small budget flick with unknown names that’d wash out of cinemas in a week or get little to no limelight imo. 

primarily because i am ok with a normal mass, commercial film too if the hero is queer. it does not matter to me, i don’t need every lgbt film to be like... deep and philosophical and talking about long seated societal issues. if i have to see suriya play a simple village dude beating up bad guys but his romance interest in the film is another man and they still have cute song and dance sequences, sure, i’d take it, no problem. it can be made within the exact same template we’ve all come to know and love except it’s not heterosexual (or cis, cos i’d be happy with a trans woman lead romance story, too). i guess for me the fundamental thing is not whether the film is ‘’mass or class’’ or anything like that, i want a big star face on it doing it genuienly and sincerely more than i want it to be done perfectly right with no complaints.

*COUGHS* vijay sethupathi pls be suriya’s boyfriend.. thank u, ;__;

[fucktional-slytherpuff]

Hello~ I wanted to send you an ask for the longest time but I had no idea what to say and I didn't want to keep it in "I really like your blog" and "you seem like a great person" (both things are true though) and I actually thought of something I am genuienly curious about. So, is there something what happened on tumblr and still makes you sad/angry or you just don't get why it happened?

Hi, I really appreciate that you like my blog and that you think I am great(it’s not true though). Thank you.

I never expected to be asked such question, it is indeed very interesting to say the least. I will try my best to explain what happened considering I have something to say. Also, sorry that it’s so long…

So, to start off, I am not an extroverted person, I never had many friends, almost none to be honest and I grew to realize, internet friends are cool and they can help when you need it. 

Before I started actively using tumblr I still had very few friends but that changed rather quickly. I considered people I found here my friends. We were talking almost all the time, engaging in various activities together…. and it felt like these people actually liked me for who I am and that they wouldn’t ditch me for a stupid reason. I could be myself. 

It was september of 2016 and I eventually “met” a person, let’s call them Logan, who meant a lot to me, I actually don’t think I’ve ever talked with someone this much. We grew really fond of eachother, always making sure that everything is okay, talking about our days, about school, family, pretty much anything. We used to videochat rather often as well, surprisingly. 

There were times, times we both hated. We would argue about dumb things but it never got to the point of breaking the bond we had. 

Few months passed, five to be exact, and my old self started to show again, the old self who pushes people away. Logan tried everything in order to keep the relationship we had. That didn’t help though. 

We still are friends but that something we had is gone. 

Now the thing is, those people of tumblr whom I considered friends knew about our relationship and of course they were concerned when we had “the big argument”. Not a single one of them mesagged me about this, I didn’t really mind though at first. The one thing that started bothering me slightly was that not just THE relationship went to hell but also every other. The contact with those other people was just gone and there was no initiation in trying to rebuild it from their side. 

Cut to April, after a long time we had a videochat again. I mentioned that I sent an ask to some of our friends saying that I appreciate them and I am glad I could get to know them. 

Logan knows apparently because they got a message from one of them about it and it said something about not knowing how to react and all that jazz. 

That was certainly something I didn’t expect. I learned that these …. friends…. don’t know how to talk to me after what happened. 

That’s something what makes me sad and what I also don’t get… I am not that much of an emotional person but I wanted to cry. It hurt like hell and it still does.

It certainly isn’t something too problematic but it bothers me, that people who I thought liked me threw everything away because of such stupid reason.

Again, sorry that it’s so damn long. Also excuse my grammar.

But I got over it and everything is fine, honestly I don’t give a fuck anymore. Fuck everyone, people are shit and I hate everyone. Have a good day!

[macstarli]

okay, another gilmore girls revival ramble, because apparently I just can’t help myself...

I was watching some of the rory/logan scenes that I didn’t put into my new vid (mostly the phone scenes) and it occured to me that their relationship is really more lobsidded than ever which makes it so weird, that during the revival it repeatedly feels like Logan not breaking up with Odette is the problem and I’m supposed to feel bad for Rory when he tells her she can’t stay longer because Odette is coming into town or that she’d have to stay in a hotel, because odette has moved in.

In their first scene of the revival in ’Winter’ Rory rambles on about how they’re together when they’re together and when they’re not together they don’t exist, establishing those boundaries when Logan pushes a little bit by trying to reassure he wouldn’t let her stumble over other girls stuff (something she again brings up to establish that this is their dynamic, that they are sleeping with other people, are in no way excluse or emotionally responsible for each other) but throughout the episodes we also see that she repeatedly reaches out to him on a personal level even when they’re not physically together, she tells Lane that he’s the person she calls when she has a problem and she wants to talk and we see that in the way they talk when they’re together. He’s always up to date with what’s going on in her life, listening to her stories, offering his opinions and taking an interest in whatever is currently important to her. In ep 2 she calls him up in the middle of the night (and I think it says a lot that it doesn’t even occure to her to do the math on the time difference, especially because at the beginning of ep 3 we again see her call him at what is clearly a late time for him. I think it’s entirely possible that she’s gotten so used to Logan making time for her at all hours of the day, that she’s forgotten to take him and his schedule into account) to ask him a favour and his immediate response when she says ‘shoot, I woke you up’ is ‘no, no, no, it’s fine, i’m up’ despite the fact that we see him sitting on the edge of his bed, clearly indicating that she had woken him up. He just doesn’t care and he immediatly goes into reassuring her, telling her that it’s not a big deal and that of course his dad is going to do it and at the same time trying to make her feel better about taking up an offer from mitchum. He also asks about her lucky outfit, taking an active interest in what is going on with her life and remembering something that matters to her. 

We see absolutely nothing that comes close to that in any kind of way from Rory. The idea of Logan randomly calling up Rory to talk about his day is actually kind of laughable and that’s because that’s the kind of boundaries Rory has set up for them. She contiously pushes him away, when he tries to indicate that their relationship is deeper for him than they’re saying and then not only has no problem ignoring those boundaries she has set when it suits her, but is also genuinly surprised and hurt when Logan’s life doesn’t entirely revolve around her and her needs. 

And for me that’s a huge issue for the revival not only in the context of their relationship, but also for Logan as an independent character. Because we never see them talking about him and his life, I know absolutely nothing about him or his life in the revival other than that he somehow works for his dad again, is engaged to a french heiress and clearly still in love with Rory. He contiously let’s her dictate the terms of their relationship and doesn’t seem to expect any kind of reciprocity from her for putting her first in his life on a regular basis. And it must be so weird for him, to be the person that is there for her and listens to her and advises her on carreer moves and then get shut down whenever he tries to imply that there is an emotional connection between them. And I wonder if he ever looks at his phone and wants to call her with news about his work or honor or anything really, wants her to be a part of his life and not just have him being a part of her life, but he doesn’t, because she’s made it so clear that the moment he’s the one initiating anything slightly deeper she’s gonna shut down. The moment their relationship is about him rather than her, she’s not interested anymore. And that’s so sad. And it also makes it kind of insane that Logan could be the problem in the revival, when I think it’s so clear that over and over again their relationship is happening entirely on Rory’s terms. She’s the one calling the shots and he just kinda goes with it, because he wants her in his life and he wants to be that person for her and also he must be kind of dizzy from the emotional whiplash of Rory actively seeking him out to be that person, only to then randomly put artificial distance between them, so his judgement might not be the best anymore. 

Anyway, I really wish we could have seen more from Logan. Or anything from Logan really. If he had to be engaged, I want to know how he feels about that. Does he like Ordette? Are they friends? Is she a typical trophy wife? Does she know that despite being the fiance he esentially cast her in the place of “the other woman” in his life because he’s also seeing the person he’s actually in love with? Does she genuienly love him? Or is she just doing what the family wants as well? What is their relationship now that they’re living together? All of that matters for Logan and for his relationship with Rory. 

The same with working for his dad. Why is he working for his dad? And is he actually working for his dad or with his dad? And does he enjoy his job? Is he actually pretty happy with his life other than wanting to share it with Rory? Os is stuck in something alltogether miserable? Again, these things matter and change my perspective on him and his behaviour and his storyline in the revial and I don’t have an answer for any of it. And yes, he’s a supporting character in a show called gilmore girls, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t get anything. Plenty of other people got a chance for some devolpment or to have a voice in the revival other than Lorelai and Rory.

And some of the things I want to know about him are directly related to Rory. Like how they met again. When they met again and how long they’ve been like this. How they fell back into a no strings attachment in the first place. If he was already “seeing” odette back then and if Rory used to that establish their vegas agreement or if they met first and then he decided to go along with the “dynastic plan”. I wanna know who made the first move and how they got so close to an actual relationship with everything that entails without ever actually being in a relationship. Do they ever talk about their past? About the proposal? About the fact that they used to be in love and live with each other? Did Logan ever accidentally end a phone call with “I love you” out of reflex and because it feels so natural (and I’m totally headcanoning that he did)? How do we have 4 episodes a 90 minutes and know so little about a relationship with one of the two main characters? Because all of things don’t just matter for Logan, they matter for Rory, too. 

I think that’s why I can’t get on board with the revival. Because I think I’m now in a place where I could spin Logan’s story into something resembling a storyline I’m okay with and that I might even be interested in watching. But that’s all I’m doing. Spinning. Because none of it was on my screen and a lot of the implications I did see were pretty damn negative. They made him a cheater, without explaining why. They put him back under his dad, without expaining why after he fought to get away from him and that lifestyle. They implied, that Rory’s not going to tell him about his own kid because he would abandon it like Chris. There’s a reason that we learned absolutely nothing about Logan and his life in the revival and why their relationship was always entirely about Rory. They didn’t want to tell the story I can make it in my head. If they did, they would have. Instead we got this. 

[dstrolgy]

To my one & only ✨

Hey ! It’s been really really awhile haven’t it ? Well how I would regard my life as now ? I wouldn’t say I’m all good but I would say I can definetly feel better. Surrounded with the people I love, definetly I feel good & never better. First of, let’s start on what I’ve been up to shall we ?

So, I’ve been posted into Republic Polytehnic under the Diploma Of Sports & Leisure Management. Well, things in school has been fairly okay, my GPA wasn’t so bad afterall. Eventhough it was quite dissapointing upon recieving it. Friends were easy to make as an outgoing person I am, little did they know right ? haha. Facilitators has been quite supporting during my First Semester & everything else is genuienly well & fine.

So let’s get to the main point of this post shall we ? My one & only girlfriend. Let’s just call her Ash. Someone whom I really rely on these past few months in striving for my results, excel in my hobbies & of course, someone who always keeps a look out for me. Let’s touch on a few things I have noticed about my girlfriend after that long period of time where we used to date till present, now. Well, she’s cute obviously like really cute, bubbly & someone whom really has a strong character. I’ve studied her well enough for the past years & I realise she’s just someone I am looking for throughout this 18 years of me on this planet. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true.

She’s someone who will always look out both bad & good side of me, if its bad, logically she will want me to stop acting that way and if it’s good, she’ll want me to improve & do much better. She’s someone who can be really angry everytime I do such little mistakes like being late or not being so attentive to her. Yes, she get’s triggered very easily & I’ll admit I dislike it but then again that’s what every girlfriend would do, get jealous, be angry if the guy does something ridiculous & so on. As a guy, I understand that, thoroughly & I know that she’s really someone whom show love by clinging on to me or be just as annoying as she wants to be, to an extent where I fee she’s 7 not 17.

Let’s talk about her habits & pet peeves shall we ? Well, she loves Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. In actual fact, we both do ! This was something that we had in common that really engaged in our love life. Sit & talk over a cup of an iced cold Machiatto, sounds pretty good to me. Someone who loves chocolate, everytime she’s angsty or tired. She’ll find any way possible to find a chocolate bar or just any chocolate to buy just so she can be her own actually self, but I’m definetly not complaining because I find it really adorable, thus making me always buy her chocolates as and when she needs or wants it. Someone who tend to take 3 chilli cups when eating McDonalds because she feels that, 2 is never enough. Eventually conclude in me stealing one hehe. Someone who loves clinging on to their boyfriend especially during rainy days where she’ll find every possible way to cling on to me just so she’ll feel comfortable. Someone who hates people who are late. Yes, me. She’ll tend to get really angry & soon just kick right back at the start. Someone who finds ciggarates disgusting especially the smell, I am a smoker, which explains why I rarely smoke when I’m with her unless I need to. Not sure if I’m lying or not on that but oh well. Someone who finds simple dates as the definition of fun, examples are arcades, movies & even as simple as sitting under the block. Someone who definetly loves going to beaches, kinda sad because it seems that we can’t always go to the beach where it is her favorite place to be at due to our packed schedules. Someone who hates cramp spaces, especially when the bus is full or when we enter a crowd and have to go through it. Someone who loves hugs, because that’s just how she is, also the reason why I bought her a huge-ass bear to hug on. Well I can continue on and on but she knows whatever else I love about her.

Our relationship hasn’t been all steady for these couple of months, I admit but I know as much as everything seems to just not work out, doesn’t mean we give up. As a strong character she is, I’m sure she’s not someone who just gives up when things go hard or when everything is out of place. Maybe I never told you or explained how much I love you in text but I guess I’ll write it here. I love you, I love you since the first day we met where I had to travel back home to get you a bag as your bag was wet. I love you since the day you told me “everything was going to be okay and we will work something out eventually”. I love you since the first time we ever looked at each other from eye to eye because we both know how much I hate eye-contacts. Trust me when I say I still get butterflies when I’m with you. I love you since the day we started this relationship and lastly of course, I love you since the day you decide to come back.

So, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for always believing in me and loving me so very much, maybe even more than I love myself. I know things can be really hard for us nowadays but do know better days are coming. As much as we both know how much things has changed between us throughout the months, I know there is always spark in each of us that is ready to explode because why ? Our love is still ever so strong. I can’t just unlove you just over a small matter can I ? You’ve done so much for me and I don’t ever know how I can repay that. Thank you so much my little princess for being the best and I hope we will always keep trying.

Well, I guess that’s about it for today. Till the next update. Chaooo