#i truly do not understand shipping i guess it literally just never occurs to me to look at characters and br like hmm you two should kiss

[southfarthing]

wait people are actually shippjng djdvdudgdisbdjd

[olivieblake]

KSIGJICNRJCNEHCBD HELLO HELLO WELCOME TO THE HELL THAT IS KNOWING ZUTARA IS EVERYTHING AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS SUCH !!!! wow i love that you are as angry as i was (and am every rewatch? yikes) this is amazing i knew you're my favorite but yeah wow man this really. confirms it whew high five

yeah it’s pretty wild how I knew this was what happened and was already bracing for it and yet STILL got completely misled by the narrative??? MEN I tell you MEN. I’m also going to use this ask as a method to reply to some of the other commentary if you don’t mind since this seems like a good place for communal frustration (here is my original post for anyone scrolling around lost)

@meg-hemmings: I agree with all of ur thoughts and I would TOTALLY read anything you wrote for Zutara … your writing is among my absolute favorite ever and I think you would write the Zutara dynamic so beautifully!

@one-man-propaganda-machine: I am - begging - you to write it yourself.

I... am not going to make promises, but I may have to. I want something very specific and that never bodes well for me. I doubt it would be more than a one-shot, but there are multiple scenes that could have occurred between episodes that would flesh out what was there (and of course I’d cut the final 15 seconds of the show, much like another epilogue I loathe and ignore)

@deifiliaa: omg atla discourse in 2021; olivie, i’d love to see what your character tier list looks like now that you’ve finished the series 👀

I’m going to put azula at the top. not because she’s a good person obviously but she’s FULL. OF. HITS. every time she’s on the screen the narrative gets immediately more interesting. she’s savvy and self-assured and I love it. her ending depressed me although I like that it was kind of about the loss of her two best friends? if that had been more of a focus I think I would have enjoyed it more but yeah, losing mai and ty lee could have been rightfully devastating. who among us is not totally obliterated by friend breakups. I also really loved uncle iroh; if anything that’s why I wasn’t invested in zuko’s storyline until close to the end, because watching him disappoint his uncle was very difficult (I get it, he’s a teenager, he’s growing and evolving and whatnot, but also I am closer to being his uncle than to being him so like, yeah). I also hope the peter pan revenge guy (JET that’s his name, sorry pregnancy kills my brain cells) did hook up with both katara and zuko. I love that journey for all three of them. I wanted more time with mai than we got, so there wasn’t quite enough there to love... but I was very down with ty lee interfering on her behalf. what a pivotal moment

of the core characters I think I was quickest to love sokka; the episode where he apologizes to suki and asks her to train him cemented it for me. I think it’s a big deal to show boys apologizing on-screen and owning their misconceptions. I like katara a lot—she’s what a lot of people do with fanon hermione. toph is also great, and part of me feels there is a strong basis for a ship with aang that balances their opposing energy, though I also like the idea of them being platonic besties. aang is... twelve. pretty much every time he was on the screen mr blake (a teacher) was like “man, aang is such a seventh grader,” so it was nice how convincing that was for his emotional journey, but at the same time it was hard to forget he was in seventh grade. appa and momo are STARS. I am sure I have mentioned this before but mr blake really loves animals and he was devastated by appa’s kidnapping; he hugged our dog for about ten minutes after aang found appa. after he decided I was zuko, he speculated that he is closest to aang but he’s not happy about it lol. “ugh, aang and I are such boring pacifists” was I believe his take on the subject

@libbynico, who for some reason I can’t tag: so true! katara was literally something like a mother/older sister figure to aang the entire time, but whatever

yeah, I think it really sucks that katara, as the emotionally nurturing character, felt shoved into the role of love interest. it’s everything wrong with the distribution of emotional labor in male-female relationships but sure, WHATEVER, apparently nobody thought to ask me in 2008

@touslesnoms: I liked “such selfish prayers” by andromeda3116 if you ever decide to read zutara after the series; the worst prisoner by emletish is super funny too

thanks for the recs! I will take them. I do want something very specific so I will be accepting recs until I find it lol. or until I lose composure and write it (yeah this is me WITH my composure, no wonder mr blake thinks I’m zuko, “I’m never happy” indeed)

@gaeleria: THANK YOU!!! Ugh omg that “I’m confused” kiss scene made me actively hate the ending. I knew ahead of time they were endgame, so I tried to make myself accept it early on. Like, I really didn’t like the pairing, but I wasn’t going to be emotionally invested in the romance and it was just going to be like, whatevs. AND THEN THEY WROTE THAT SCENE??! 1000% no. What was even the point of that scene? If they had written it to make Aang have some introspection and realize it’s not all about him, Katara’s feelings matter too, or even apologize, or anything… but no, there was literally no point to that scene. No character growth, it was never mentioned again. Ugh.

this is in answer to both you and beloved @zabbini: yeah this was a fuck-up for sure lol. I think it may come down to editing for time; the series is very irregularly paced, what with the majority of the action taking place in the final three episodes of a 16 episode season. or maybe it’s just because MEN CAN’T BE TRUSTED TO WRITE ROMANCE but either way yeah this was a real misstep and just truly, truly reeked of a particular (white) male attitude about how women think and what they owe. had a bad day, dudes? buy a gun, kiss your forever girl, do whatever you want and it’s fine! (I’m exaggerating but barely)

in terms of what’s so angering for me: a character like katara who previously had tons of agency was robbed of it when it came to her romantic arc, which is just really upsetting. and to be fair, I was equally upset when zuko instantly agreed to the agni kai with azula because it was like okay well katara’s extremely valuable, as you know, but now you want her to just sit on the sidelines...? (more of a story flaw than a relationship flaw, but my chest sunk a little at the idea that katara was going to sit by and watch as an accessory to zuko’s story when she’s a crucial weapon in their collective fight. what a waste, right?) 

it’s also especially hard to buy into the aang thing when zuko’s method of problem-solving on katara’s behalf is there for comparison. he asks her what she needs in order to find closure and then from there, does everything necessary to get it without having to be asked twice. versus aang, who is a twelve-year-old pair of rogue lips who never wins any of his fights without the aid of phenomenal cosmic powers...? ugh I’m getting off track but in the end there’s just a complete lack of understanding what female audiences want, though again, I don’t think they were really considering that at all. which I guess is... fair, it’s not the point of the show, but then why make the ending romantic at all? to show that their brand of hero gets everything he wants, I guess

in conclusion in 2008 I’m not sure the industry was capable of doing better, which sucks but isn’t surprising. still, it does fit the components of “stuff I write fics for,” which is I enjoyed most of it but find myself enraged by slivers I compulsively need to fix—WHICH IS STILL NOT A PROMISE but ugh I can already feel myself giving in 

[wilderwraith]

From the prompts list post...How about maybe 8? "Can you please...? Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe put a shirt on?" X3

I had a lot of fun with this, thank you :)

Argo is used to sharing living quarters. Honestly, the dorm room at Wiggenstaff’s is a lot more space to himself than he’s used to having. An actual bed with a mattress, his own chest of drawers, even his own little desk—it’s a big step-up from a little hammock and tiny corner of the bottom of a ship. Not that he really has enough belongings to fill the space. He was a little embarrassed about it, after he’d realized how much stuff Fitzroy owns, but the Firbolg has even less than Argo so maybe it’s not too unusual.

But he’s certainly no stranger to being in tight spaces with other people literally all the time. Having personal space and privacy isn’t much of a thing at sea, so you kind of have to get comfortable in front of strangers pretty quickly or else forfeit your own comfort and be more or less miserable. And he and his roommates are pretty far past being strangers.

So Argo doesn’t really understand why Fitzroy seems to get so uncomfortable and embarrassed when he’s hanging out in the room with his shirt off. It’s summer break, the annex is hot, and even though Fitzroy seems perfectly fine strutting around in his usual long-sleeved shirts and fancy cloaks (how, Argo doesn’t understand, but there’s much about the half-elf that he doesn’t understand), Argo is certainly not about to suffer unnecessarily.

No one bats an eye when you go days without ever putting on a shirt at sea, and it didn’t even occur to him that it might be different at school until one day when he’s in the room reading over some books on sneakery and Fitzroy walks in holding a thermos of some cold drink and nearly spits it out upon seeing Argo lounging on his bed.

Argo glances up and gives him a quizzical look. “Y’alright, Fitz?”

His nonchalance seems to throw Fitzroy a little, because the barbarian stutters for a moment, his face growing quite red, until he pushes his glasses up his nose and dramatically fixes his gaze at a spot on the floor. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem a little…” Argo shrugs, not really knowing what to say.

“I’m not a little anything.” Whatever emotion he’s experiencing seems to shift quickly to irritation. He sets his drink down with considerable force and climbs aggressively up to his bunk.

Argo has never known someone who could put so much feeling into the most mundane of little actions the way Fitzroy can. Sometimes he wonders if his roommate is aware of how dramatic he is or if he really is just like that. Even the way he lays out on his bed and opens a magazine with a flourish seems very over the top and fueled by something that Argo can’t even begin to guess at.

As with most things Fitzroy says and does, Argo rolls his eyes at it and lets it go without much thought. If anything, the little fits are strangely endearing and very amusing, which he wouldn’t have been able to say the first few months of knowing Fitzroy. Sometimes, when he allows his mind to go there, he wonders when he stopped thinking of the half-elf as annoying and pompous in a negative, angering way and started seeing those traits as kind of charming instead. Fitzroy is charismatic for sure, and definitely still annoying and pompous, but it’s…different somehow, now. And it’s confusing as hell, which is why Argo doesn’t think about it too much.

He returns his attention to his book, the sound of Fitzroy flipping the pages of his magazine in the background. The Firbolg had gone out some time ago to spend the day, Argo assumes, in the regular woods that are near the campus, or maybe the stables. It’s a hot day, but it’s nice out, so he probably won’t be back for a while. Eventually, as the sun gets higher in the sky, the temperature of the room seems to heat up even more and soon Argo feels uncomfortably sweaty.

He stands to open the window and ties his hair up in a messy bun on the top of his head. He’s starting to get a bit antsy without much to do. He’s been working in Last Hope since the start of break, but today’s a day off and he doesn’t handle ample free time incredibly well. He stretches his arms up over his head and bends a little at the waist, working the muscles that have grown stiff from inactivity. “Hey, Fitz, you wanna go spar for a while?”

He can almost hear Fitzroy gritting his teeth, and he doesn’t even look up when he hisses out, “No.”

Argo frowns. “Oh… Well, d’ya wanna take a walk into town or somethin’?”

“No.” He turns another page. “But if you want to, don’t let me stop you.”

“What, you’re just gonna sit here in the heat?”

Fitzroy sighs loudly. “That’s the plan.”

Argo puts his hands on his hips. “C’mon, Fitzy, don’t just sit around alone all day. Come do something with me.”

“Don’t call me that. And I’m good, thank you.”

“What’s eatin’ at ya? Did I do somethin’ to make you mad?”

Fitzroy glances over at him quickly and then his face goes beet red again and his eyes snap back over to his magazine. “N—no.”

“What? Somethin’s obviously bothering you. What’s the matter?”

“Jesus Christ, Argo.” He slaps the magazine closed and turns to face Argo irritably. “Could you please…? Hmmm, I don’t know—maybe put a shirt on?!”

Argo blinks in confusion. “Huh—? I—” He looks down at himself, not really knowing why. Maybe some sort of explanation as to why his bare torso seems to be such an issue for Fitzroy. “Why—”

“God.” Fitzroy then opens the magazine and drapes it over his face. “You can’t just—walk around like that!”

Argo’s well and truly bewildered now. “Why not? Sailors do it all the time, and it’s hot, Fitz—Fitzroy.”

“I know it’s hot,” Fitzroy mutters under his breath, so low Argo almost doesn’t catch it. “It’s just...it’s distracting.”

Argo laughs mockingly. “I know I’m sexy, but—”

He cuts himself off abruptly, because as soon as the words leave his mouth he notices Fitzroy tense up. It’s almost imperceptible, the subtle tightening of his muscles and clenching of his fists, but Argo sees it and suddenly something clicks.

“Oh,” he breathes. His heart rate picks up and his body flushes with heat that has nothing to do with the summer. “You do think I’m sexy.”

He can’t bring himself to fully believe that’s actually what’s going on—at least not until Fitzroy reaches up to slide the magazine down his face just enough to uncover his eyes, which are giving Argo an extremely nervous sideways glance.

“Is that—” Argo quirks an eyebrow and folds his arms over his chest, cocking one hip out slightly. “Sir Fitzroy, are you flustered?”

Fitzroy sits up on the bed in a whirlwind and suddenly the magazine is hurling towards Argo’s face with such tremendous speed and force that he can’t reach out to block it, and it smacks him so hard he stumbles back onto his bed.

When he recovers from the shock and sits up, the door is swinging in its frame and he only catches a glimpse of the tail end of a scarlet cloak disappearing down the hall. He jumps to his feet and swings out of the doorway, gripping the frame with one hand.

He cups one hand around his mouth and shouts, “Is that a hard no to hangin’ out then?”

At the end of the hall, Fitzroy pivots on his heel and points an index finger at Argo. “Put on a goddamn shirt, Argonaut Keene!”

After that day, when Argo decides to go shirtless, it’s a very intentional decision he makes for one very specific purpose.

[angelofthequeers]

Aromantic Marinette

Okay but hear me out. We all know she’s crushing massively on Adrien. It’s a large part of what drives the plot. And I’m not insisting that she is aro or demanding that people accept it but it just occurred to me and I had to explain my train of thought before I lost it. And I’d like for it to give people a little insight into what it’s like to be aro.

One of the reasons she could be so anxious and high-strung around Adrien is this unconscious fear of getting herself into a romantic situation, even if she’s consciously sure she wants it. I’ve daydreamed so much about dating and kissing and all that romantic jazz, only to chicken out twice with two different people for no apparent reason. And if Marinette’s aro, that could be heightening her anxiety around Adrien and making her completely glitch out around him. And she definitely gets plenty of reinforcement from her friends and their encouragements to take the plunge and ask him out, just like I was encouraged and fussed over by the girls in my year at school when I said I had a crush on a guy.

Like, I love to fantasise about romance. I love to imagine my dream partner. But when it actually comes down to it? I’ll turn tail and run. And that’s not to say that all aros are terrified of romance, but rather that it’s a common experience of feeling that jsdhfskjfhsd panic of getting yourself into something you unconsciously might not want even if you’re certain you do want it (in this case, getting herself into a romantic relationship that could completely change the relationship between her and Adrien).

And it also explains why some people believe that she “puts Adrien on a pedestal”. It’s not Adrien she’s romanticising and looking at through rose-tinted glasses; it’s the idea of being with him romantically. And that’s not to say that she doesn’t genuinely love Adrien! She does! She really cares for him as a dear friend! But romantic love isn’t the only kind of love, and as a 14 year old surrounded by people reinforcing the idea that she’s got to get together with her true love, I very highly doubt she’d even consider the idea of being aro even if she knew what aromanticism was. If I, a 22-year-old, didn’t figure all of this out about myself until literally this year, there’s no way a teenager like Marinette would have herself sorted out.

It could just me being aro all over the place, but I’ve never understood love at first sight. What I do understand, however, is someone doing one (1) nice thing for me and me being like “okay, guess I gotta fall for them now”. So like, after realising that she’s misjudged this boy and he’s actually really sweet, her feelings go skjfksdhfskjfhksd. But it’s also possible to add an aro flavour to this scene because like, if you don’t know that it’s possible to not feel romantic attraction, you’re going to interpret your sudden strong rush of feelings as romantic attraction. Especially since he’s a guy and she’s a girl and probably still sees herself as totally straight. It’s entirely possible that the rush of feelings she got is purely platonic - or, if something more, then something that’s stronger but still not necessarily romantic - and she doesn’t have the tools to differentiate.

It also explains for me why she’s just...not into Luka. Like, speaking as an aro, that’s not romantic love I see. The ‘Silencer’ confession seems to be largely forgotten afterwards and she always gravitates to Adrien over Luka. But if you’re trying to make yourself like someone? Yeah, I resonate strongly with Marinette with that interpretation. She truly values Luka and his support but...it just doesn’t feel romantic on her end. And I get that pressure to like someone because they showed just one tiny mote of kindness so therefore it must be true love. I convinced myself that I was in love with a guy for sharing his fondant icing with me in Food Tech and that “crush” vanished pretty damn quickly when I wanted it to after I was “crushing” on him for two years. It’s called amatonormativity - this insistence that you have to find your one true soulmate, settle down together, get married, have kids and a white picket fence, aka the True Love Experience - and considering how much of a mess she gets around Adrien at that point, it’s entirely feasible for her to also cling to Luka and then be like wtf??? do I?? do???

At the end of the day, I don’t think Marinette is canonically aromantic. The most we’ve ever gotten is, like...breadcrumbs that she could maybe be bi. But boy do I see a lot of my own experience in her and even though I’m hopeless romantic trash and ship Marinette with everyone, it’s something I might explore in the future because now I can’t stop thinking about it.

[shimmershae]

Remember all the ship imagery we got in the early episodes of this season?  Carol literally sailing toward Daryl in a boat, the ships all over her bedding, the helm in the background as Daryl takes her dinner and a flower, and Daryl’s comments about poking holes in any boats she might use to leave him again?  Well.  It just occurred to me, when Carol had her emotional breakthrough and decided to fight and stick around and work toward putting her demons to rest, i.e. go home to Daryl, it was after a boat literally fell on top of her.  And maybe it was an odd little coincidence, but somehow I don’t think so.

I mean.  The first instance, with Carol literally sailing toward a waiting Daryl was lightly tossed about as our ship finally, well, setting sail.  I know I had a lot of fun with the idea personally.  But shining a different light on it, I think Carol ‘coming home’ to Daryl was twofold.  One, she was literally coming home, albeit somewhat reluctantly because she still hadn’t figured out a way to reconcile her feelings on Henry’s death and all the traumas it pushed to the surface nor all of the emotions being back in the circle of those who know her best kept ever present.  And two, it showed that Daryl is not only her person or place of stability, but that he perhaps has already reached the point where he knows exactly what he wants and that’s Carol herself.  I mean, he’s literally right there, ready and wanting to be her port in the storm.  

Yeah, I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well.  I’m sure someone else can piggyback on this and do a much better job, but I’m going to keep spit balling okay?  Okay.  

The boats on Carol’s bedding were a nice little touch, don’t you think?  Especially since Carol’s been shown to dream about Daryl in that bed.  Not in exactly the way that some of us might want her to, lol, at least not onscreen because our girl did say to Michonne that her dreams were good and that’s why they hurt so very much--why oh why they cut that scene from the aired episode I’ll never understand, unless they wanted to play close to the vest with their hand for a little bit longer (unneeded IMHO since those that don’t want to see are not going to see what’s staring them right in the face until it bites their noses off, but I digress) but still.  It’s been shown and suggested she dreams about Daryl when she sleeps in that bed.  Basically, she only allows herself to semi-admit what she most wants in her dreams, and I don’t remember if we see that bedding again later or not but I did find it kind of weird at the time that she was sleeping on top of the covers.  It’s almost like she doesn’t want to embrace (cover up) the comfort that her subconscious offers her, huh?  Psst.  Daryl.  Or, you know, literally stop running and relax enough to truly let her mind and emotions settle.  

I’m digging a little deep aren’t I?  Oops.  Sorry if I sound semi-delusional.  I am somewhat sleep deprived.  But truly.  My brain cannot accept that all of this is mere coincidence so the hamster wheel is trying to theorize and this is what you get.  Sorry not sorry, lol.  

So where was I?  

So basically Daryl’s had his epiphany.  The years Carol spent by another man’s side weren’t something he reacted to with the usual or stereotypical signs of jealousy because he’s Daryl.  He wants the best for those he loves even at his own expense, but there was some deep-seated stuff there he maybe didn’t recognize right away or likely, as with Carol, didn’t want to immediately confront.   

Sigh.  These two and their shitty self-esteems.  Whatever are we going to do with them?  

Putting the rest behind a cut because this is about to get even longer.  Read at your own risk.  ;)

Shit may not be settled, but Daryl’s more settled and mature than he’s ever been and he knows what he wants:  Carol.  So he’s there waiting on Carol’s boat to sail in.  He’s right there.  Waiting on Carol to have the same epiphany or reach the same conclusion or not, whatever may come, because Dude loves her.  He might not have put words to it, but he’s shown her and us in so very many ways.  Carol might have come to him on the boat, but make no mistake.  At this point in time?  Our man is the captain of this ship.  He’s standing at the helm.  Get it?  The helm in the background?  Er, I’ll shut up before I make myself sound even nuttier, lol.  

Let’s talk a little bit more about Carol, shall we?  

So Carol.  She knows what or who she wants too.  She just hasn’t dared to voice it.  Even in those woods, when her subconscious in the form of Alpha pressed her to admit the truth she wouldn’t say the words out loud.  It’s almost like her keeping those feelings secret is her way of protecting Daryl from the ‘monster’ she feels like she’s become.  

Oh sweet baby girl.  My heart aches so much for her.  She just has no idea.  Really and truly no idea.  

Listen.  Daryl was completely serious about poking holes in all them boats.  And call this a reach if you want to, but I think that little comment of his was twofold as well.  More on that a little later.  

Dude isn’t all that well-versed in matters of the heart, especially with somebody that means so very much to him.  So understandably, he’s not going to automatically get everything right.  And let’s be real here.  He’s still so much more of a show than tell kind of guy so that’s what he’s been doing.  Showing Carol how much he cares.  Demonstrating his love by being there for her, by having her back, and by calling her on her bullshit (but only after she’s taken up all the slack and put them both and their communities in an arguably untenable position). He wants her to stay and he’s done everything within his power to make her want to stay--except say those three little words.  

Which circles me back around to the two-fold part of the holes in the boat comment.  You know where I’m going with this don’t you?  Don’t you, lol?  There’s someone else Daryl hasn’t said those three little words to or about, even after Carol herself tried her best to put them in his mouth.  Our guy went so far as to tell our thick-headed Queen that it’s not like that, not at all, effectively poking the biggest of many holes in the most present ship.  I say present for lack of any better moniker.  Let’s just say that it’s the most threatening in Carol’s mind and subconscious because literally the only person acting like it’s a real thing is Carol.  Kelly’s little wink and nod isn’t something I’m going to take on gospel because let’s just say a thousand and one ships could be launched at a teasing sister’s behest and only one or two be manufactured out of more than popsicle sticks and imagination.  How many cute guys did your little sisters have you in love with when they simply offered you a smile or kind word?  I literally cannot keep track of how many would-be suitors my little sister would have had me have, lol.  The list is simply too long.  It’s one of the things little sisters are so very (obnoxiously) good at--spinning fantasy into a reality of their own making.  But yeah, I’m going off on another tangent.  In case you haven’t noticed, I’m very good at that.    

My point is this, hahaha.  Daryl’s not just willing to poke holes in all the literal boats to keep Carol with him.  The man has also, in his Daryl way, poked holes in the notion that he could feel something romantically for another woman.  Because it isn’t like that.  Not for the captain of this ship.  He knows what he wants whether he’s managed to use his words yet or not.  

Carol’s trickier because she’s not reached the same sort of zen Daryl has yet.  She’s still operating under the erroneous assumption that she’s not good enough for her Mr. Crossbow and has been doing her level-best to steer him toward what she considers his perfect match even though her subconscious has been baiting her to just fess up to her buried truth--that she wants and loves Daryl just as much as he wants and loves her.  

But you know what happened?  

A literal boat fell on top of our girl’s hard head and knocked some sense into her.  Honestly.  While the circumstances were actually heartbreaking--our baby girl’s emotions have been so fucked up for so long over something that couldn’t necessarily be helped in the world she’s been surviving in--I have to laugh now,putting it into this newfound perspective.  Kang literally bashed my baby over the head with her demons and the truth of her feelings.  Seriously.  She held all her so-called ‘failings’ up in her face and had her confront them before confronting her with her biggest fear.  That fear being, you guessed it, that she lose Daryl.  

You know what happened from that point.  

Deciding that she could never let that happen, Carol had her own epiphany--it’s never too late--and she decided to fight and she went home to Daryl.  Really went home to him and yeah, things are still up in the air because Angela Kang wanted to blue ball us just a wee bit more but I can’t be the only one hearing those drums break for their big solo in that old Phil Collins song, lol.  

I can almost taste canon on my tongue and hoo boy is it sweet.  A little bit spicy too.  

Damn the coronavirus.  Seriously.  Send that thing right back to hell.  

I don’t know about y’all but I need that finale yesterday.  

Anyhoo.  If you found your way to this last sentence after this mega stream of consciousness hooey, bless you.  If you feel inclined to add your own thoughts to my sleep-deprived thoughts, be my guest.  

Later, lovelies.  

Keep calm and Caryl the fuck on.  

[quwarichi]

My reactions+summaries for SPN S5-15 PT.3:

Supernatural Episodes (that were memorable to me):

Currently: S15E20

[Disclaimer: these were written as I was watching each episode for the first time. It’s literally my brain vomit. Let it be known that I watched the series from season 1 but only around season 5 it occured to me that I might want to remember some episodes, so this was created. I am a pretty big destiel shipper, but it only shows here when I absolutely can’t contain myself. You can enjoy my reactions without shipping them. HAVE AT IT]

Seasons 14-15:

S14:     

S14E01: Hey look Dean has a funny hat now. Haha. And that's the only thing different. Oh wait where did the plaid go? Guess he burned his clothes in an accident and changed into something nearby. Alright. OH WAIT WHERE DID DEAN GO. Sam is tired. Jack is learning how to fight from Bobby. Good on him. Castiel is suffering. A demon knows more about Destiel than Cas does *wink wink* Bless that demon. Give him a raise for the wonderful words he said. Praise. Scratch that he just started a demon gang fight against Cas fuck them up good Cas don't leave survivors. Stop beating Castiel up you know he's taking it easy on you otherwise all of you would be fried chickens. "Sister Jo" is back in business. [Side note: Jensen and Daneel shooting this scene together had me dying the writers did that on purpose]. Michael visits Anael. Jack is sad. Cas is hurt. Lucifer is alive. Oh wait it's Nick. Why is Nick. How is Nick. Nick is pretty understanding and nice. Nick. Hm. The demons got Cas how dare they you fuckers, you motherfuckers I WiLL rAiN hElL FiRE UPoN yOu. Sam is sad and missing Dean. Mary is too. Sam should have hidden the knife in his hair. Cas is embarrassed. Jack gets caught. The demon wants to replace Crowley. How dare he. Awesome action scene. Keep expecting Dean to show up and beat someone up. Cas and Sam miss Dean. Cas and Jack talk about losing their powers. Sam misses Dean. Michael helps monsters now?

S14E02: Hey look Michael's a dick who knew. Srsly fuck him. Cas can't help and is sad. He is also a babysitter to Satan's former vessel and Satan's child. Is Jack Nick's sort-of son or is that taking it too far? Questions for later. Lucifer is now the Supreme Agent of Evil. Cas is sassy. Jack is adorable and needs hugs. Cas is trying to be nice to Nick. Nick is suffering. Castiel feels different. He feels like he matured and grown a lot. Like he's more at peace with himself. He says that when he Fell he still had Sam and Dean which is so adorable. Cas gives Jack a beautiful talk. Michael is wearing a tux, which looks great on Dean but horrible on him. Dean yells at him to get out. Nick is sad and still has Lucifer instincts. Nick is sadder now. He wants his family back. Cas is amazing in this episode. Kudos, truly. He just admits he understands Nick's situation because he occupies Jimmy's vessel. Woah. Nick just said Castiel is a body-snatcher and he's no different than Lucifer. How dare he. How DARE YOU. CASTIEL HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND TO YOU. HE TRIED TO BE CALM. HE TRIED EXPLAINING AND SYMPATHIZES WITH YOU AND YOU GO AND CALL HIM THAT. WHY. JUST... WHY??? CAS STILL FEELS AWFUL FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO JIMMY AND HIS FAMILY. HE NEVER WANTED THAT. FUCK YOU NICK. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. Jack went to visit his grandparents can he get any more adorable I mean OH MY CHUCK LOOK AT HIM. He tells them Kelly had a baby boy and they're so HAPPY HIJFKDHDUHEJDUDH. Jack dear I know you just met your family and you're emotional but saying Dean doesn't matter is like a death sentence in the fandom so tread lightly. Nick is channeling his inner Lucifer. Dean is BACK BABY.

S14E03: Dean doesn't NOT like Sam's beard. Jack, Cas, and Dean reunite. Jack likes Disney confirmed. A girl asked Jack if Cas is his dad and he says Cas is one of his dads OMG OMG OMG. Jack is heartbroken he couldn't help the girl and Cas feels awful for him. Honestly Cas has been through so much lately and he didn't even get the chance to hug Dean when he came back. Jack saved Lora. Cas apologies to Jack. Bless Cas. He's a freaking Angel. Cas is so freaking adorable and he's such a dad for Jack and they're like hey dad hey son and omg omg omg gaaaaaaaaah they're adorable. He's making Jack SOUP. FREAKING SOUP. Something's wrong with Jack why are you coughing blood no no no no no bad blood.

S14E04: Dean likes horror movies now. Sam's beard is gone. Dean's inner fanboy is coming out. It's one of these episodes. Sam is so excited. Dean is fangirling. DEAN IS IN GLASSES PART 3 OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Fortnight has unfortunately bled into the Supernatural universe and we have to live with that fact now. Dean is, fortunately, a Zelda fan so we're good on that front. Sam is a nerd. Dean is concerned. Sam meets his female counterpart. Sam has trauma from Halloween. Dean wants to have Halloween with Sam so badly awwwww.

S14E05: Dean and Sam run into Bobby and Mary. Sam is nervous about talking to his mom about her dating life. Bobby and Mary are sort of a thing now and Dean is okay with that. He just wants his mom to be happy.

S14E06: Sam and Charlie are very awkward. Hooray. Jack is suffering because his coffee doesn't taste right. Sam looks so happy playing with a fidgetspiner. Jack and Dean are being Hunting Buddies ™. Jack just learned what courting before dating before sex is and Dean is not happy or comfortable about that conversation. Other Dimension Charlie had a love of her life but she died. Jack asks Dean about courting over pie and it's adorable. Dean says that when they get back to the bunker he'll give Jack the talk. Hooray! Jack and Dean play the "bad cop, hero saves the damsel" plan and it works fantastic. Jack calls Dean old and Dean looks so offended it actually hurt him OMG. Some girl has a crush on Jack now. Jack is very confused. Hunter!Jack is very awkward and adorable. Is Jack on a date? I think he's on a date. Is he even allowed to go on dates yet? Dean didn't give him the talk. Hm. What would Cas think? And Sam, Sam would be very confused about it too. Hm. Definitely sensing some romance in the air. Approving of that. Oh BOI SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Oh wait of course not Jack was raised by Cas who are we fooling of course he wanted to use the bathroom. Dean calls Jack and he's like "Hey so I'm pretty sure she's in love with me so tell me everything you know about sex. Go!" Dean is not having ANY OF THAT BS RN. Vans? Vans! Vans. Dear lord Jack should get an acting award *ba-dum-tss*. Dean be giving out relationship advice like he's some sort of expert when in reality his emotions are so constipated he needs to swallow Dulcolax to communicate with others. Jack has a crazy fan now. He follows in Sam's footsteps and got himself a Becky. Congrats? Jack is coughing again. And now he's bleeding from his nose. No. Nope. Not happening. Denial, ACTIVATE!

 S14E07: So... Nick is slowly losing it. Or very quickly losing it. Depends on how you look at it. Cas is watching over Jack and tries healing him. Jack is really bad shape. They take him to a hospital. Cas does NOT have time for bureaucracy. Three worried fathers watch as their kid suffers and it HURTTS. Jack's body is shutting down and they're suffering. Cas just gave Jack his trenchcoat so now we have a trenchcoatless Cas and a trenchcoated Jack. Rowena is BACK BABY. Jack meets Rowena. Cas is so ready to give his grace for Jack. Dean is taking Jack on a fun day. He's teaching Jack how to drive awwwww. Dean and Jack are awesome. Cas feels helpless. Cas calls Jack Sam, Dean, and his' son OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'M HAVING A FUCKING SEIZURE. Jack and Dean are eating burgers on the impala and have fun. Meanwhile Nick is on hunt for his family's killer, being as adorable and questionable as ever. DEAN AND JACK ARE F***CKING FISHING. Jack wanted to go fishing because Dean said he went fishing with John and it was a happy memory for him and Jack considers Dean a father figure GAAAAAH IT HURTSSS. WHY IS JACK SO AT PEACE WITH DYING LIKE WHAT THE FRICK NOOOOO. AND WHY IS CAS DRIVING A TINY BLUE CAR WHO GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO BE ADORABLE. Do you ever wonder how many times a week Castiel thinks about the story Gabriel wrote on the walls of his bunker room about his time in Monte Carlo with the porn stars? He read the entire story, just summarised it for Sam. So he KNOWS everything. Things to wonder about. Nick is channeling his Lucifer or Lucifer is channeling his Nick they are one it's scary. Jack is being healed? Is he healed? He's HEALED. Jack is BACK BABY!!! Cas and Dean look so relieved. Wait why is he staggering. Why is he coughing. Cas is so pissed at the Shaman. CAS IS A PISSED OFF FATHER. CAS IS AMAZING. FREAKING DAD CAS FOR THE RESCUE. It feels like this is a setup for Lucifer to come back. Not sure how to feel about that. Um. Ummmm... Empty do your freaking job and keep him asleep. JACK IS DYING FREAKING KILL ME WHYYYY.

S14E08: Jack doesn't want them to be sad. Dean is not okay. None of them are okay. Cas is also worried about Dean. Jack is being optimistic about things and it hurts. WHAT. WHAT. HE CAN'T DIE. NO. NOOO. DEAN DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NOOOO. CAS IS IN SO MUCH PAIN BUT HE'S STILL WORRYING ABOUT SAM AND DEAN OH MY GOD WHYYYYY. CAS WANTED JACK TO DIE A LONG TIME AFTER HIM. THEY'RE GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER TO DULL THE PAIN WOW THIS IS HURTING HAHAHA I'M NOT CRYING FUCK YOU MY EYES ARE LEAKING. THEY'RE EATING NOUGAT BARS THAT JACK LIKED. CAS DOESN'T EVEN EAT FOOD IT TASTE LIKE MOLECULES TO HIM. Jack is in Heaven but Empty is slowly taking over Heaven. Jack meets Kelly in Heaven. Kelly is so happy to see him until she realized he died. Anubis is an odd fellow. Cas is so happy seeing Cas again. And Kelly too. Empty has invaded Jack and Kelly's Heaven. Shit is about to go DOWN. Dean and Sam consider Jack their child. EMPTY IS HURTING CAS AND KELLY WHILE JACK IS WATCHING. CAS SAVE JACK. WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL FUCKING END YOU EMPTY YOU SON OF A THING. CASTIEL HOW COULD YOU. Cas doesn't want Sam and Dean to worry. He says he's in peace with his decision. IN PEACE MY ASSBUTT! LISTEN HERE YOU EMOTIONALLY INCAPABLE ANGEL, YOU HAVE DONE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE EARTH. YOU SACRIFICED FROM YOURSELF THINGS OTHERS WOULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE. YOU GAVE UP HEAVEN FOR SAM AND DEAN. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND THEN YOU MAKE A DEAL THAT THE SECOND YOU'RE HAPPY YOU'LL DIE??? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??? In other news Jack and Kelly hugged and it was beautiful. Jack promises not to tell Sam and Dean about what Cas did. Jack is BACK BABY. Dean hugged Jack. Get the fuck away from Cas you Naomi Bitch. Jack is happy to eat burgers again. Is Jack wearing Dean's robe?

S14E09: Is this a Christmas episode? Why, I think it is. Hey look Michael is a woman now. Wait Garth NoooOOooo you can't do it. Oh wow he has a little girl now. Jack is guiltily eating cereal in the middle of the night and Cas catches him. Sam is apparently acting like a mom. Wow. Cas is being a sassy angel. Castiel likes the toys that come in the cereal box. OMG why are Jack and Cas so cute. Cas is happy Dean is feeling better but he feels guilty about lying to him about the deal. Jack is happy he can pick a lock now. HELP THEY KIDNAPPED JACK. FUCK YOU MICHAEL. Awww they're going on a family hunting trip! Team Free Will 2.0 VS Kansas City. Awww. *The hellish version of a Christmas song plays in the background*. JACK IS FUCKING SMILING. Okay so Michael I'm gonna need you to get out of Dean you sick son of a Chuck. 'Freaking ruined the Christmas episode.

S14E10: Awww they brought Pamela back! Also Dean owns a bar and he likes to flirt. He looks so happy owning a bar. Michael is sassy, and it's almost likeable. Probably because it's Dean's face. Michael is trying to get underneath Cas' skin and Cas looks so done with it. One of Dean's happy memories is the stripper case with Sam. FUCK MICHAEL. FUCK HIM SO HARD. HOW DARE HE. HE JUST SAID DEAN ONLY TOLERATES CAS BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE OWES HIM FOR HELL AND CAS HASN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR DEAN EVER SINCE. *Cue epic fight scene* Hey look Dean is a cage now. Cas is so worried about Jack's soul.

S14E11: Dean is acting suspiciously. Sam's aware he and Dean only hug if it's of the world I'm dyinggg. Sam likes gossiping apparently. Dean came to visit Mary awww. Dean is now a welding master. Well now Nick is being arrested by Donna and now Donna might be about to die and NOPE. Dean is being really sweet and it's freaking everyone out. Mary thinks Dean's adorable when he's sleeping. Nick is being creepy and kidnapping Mary. Nick without Lucifer is unlikeable at best. Mary keeps a severed head in a jar. Dean tells Sam he loves him.  He shows Sam a box he plans on being buried alive in the ocean with Michael inside of it and yeah so that's not happening.

S14E12: Dean has a nightmare about being stuck in his coffin forever. Sam calls Cas. Dean says he knows he wasn't the greatest brother for Sam and Sam has this 'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL' look on his face because that is some grade A+ bullshit right there. Cas gets a call from Dean and he's so excited because he thinks Dean is giving up his plan but Dean tells him he's not so Cas is sad. Cas is so pissed at Dean. Dean and Cas have an argument/goodbye. Dean and Sam argue. It hurts. It hurts so much. He punched Dean and then he hugged him. He tells Sam and Cas he believes in them. In all of them. Oh well I guess that if Dean gets trapped in a box at least Cas will never be taken by the Empty since he'll never be happy HAHAHAHA KILL ME NOW.

S14E13: This episode is about the city the bunker's in OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Someone stole Baby. There's a kid who thinks they're serial killers, which they are, but not exactly. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. JOHN??? OF ALL THE PEOPLE, JOHN? WAS THAT EVEN AN OPTION??? WHAT THE FUCK???!!! MARY AND JOHN FINALLY SEE EACH OTHER AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. And  Sam and Dean witness it. Sam is very awkward with John. Oh wow. So, they pulled John out of 2003 and it has changed history and now Sam likes raw food and standing desks and runs a law firm and Dean is a murderer and thief with a price on his head. Hm. Zach and Cas are reunited as bad angels no no no no THIS IS BAD. OH WELL AT LEAST CAS DOESN'T UNDERSTAND POP CULTURE REFERENCES ANYMORE. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Cas is a killer now NoooOOooo. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cas doesn't recognize Dean and Sam as his friends. Cas is beating up Dean and Sam. Noooo. This is weird. No. Nope. Not happening. Cue the awkwardness of a family dinner. When you remember that everyone at that table died at least once it's very very weird. A family who defied Death, God, the Darkness, Demons, Angels, Monsters, and a few nasty humans here and there. Wow. Dean actually has some self-love speech and it is amazing. The character development is just *chef's kiss*. Why is this so beautiful Sam stop crying you know it makes Dean cry and when Dean cries I cry stopp it.

S14E14: Family hunting trip time! Oh look Rowena is also there! Rowena has some sort of attraction to Cas and it's chilling. Cas and Dean are on some sort of a coffee date. Jack is coughing blood again. Someone stop it. Cas is worried about Dean. Dean is only honest with Cas awwwwwww. Cas asks Jack if he's fine. Cas worries about everyone but when will someone worry about Cas? Jack, Cas, and Dean look like two parents and a child. Jack asks what an AV club is and Cas explains and then Dean calls Cas a dork. They're adorable. Cas is a VERY serious FBI agent. Rowena and Sam need to act like a married couple and it's AMAZING. MORE. GIVE THE FANDOM MORE. Jack has suffered at the vet's office. The Gorgon is hitting on Cas. Wait till Dean hears about that. Cas has been paralyzed. Cas is worried about Dean. That's strike 2. Another moment of Cas being worried and someone is about to die. Cas explains to Jack about the fragility of humans and death and moving on which makes you believe he thought about a time when Dean and Sam die and he's left all alone and now I want to walk off a cliff. Michael is out. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. JACK CALLED HIMSELF A WINCHESTER OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Jack got his wings back!

S14E15: Jack is playing with his snake. Cas is worried about Jack. Dean is eating. Cas and Sam go on a case together [Poor Misha. Jared must've tortured him]. Cas with his pop culture references. The only thing good about episode 13 aside from some closure for the boys is that Cas lost his knowledge of pop culture. Cas sometimes looks at the Saturday Evening Post when Sam and Dean are asleep. They're very soothing. Sam and Cas walked into a town that seems stuck in the late ‘70s. Even Cas thinks it's weird. Sam looks happy drinking a milkshake. Cas pretends to drink cuz he doesn't eat. Cas has no social skills. Jack is trying to feed the snake. Dean likes bacon. Some woman checked Cas out. Cas reads a series of love letters between the victim and a milkshake serving a young woman. Cas is so done with people hitting on him. How Cas describes Sam "I'm looking for my partner. Tall man. Hair? He has beautiful hair." FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. SAM BECAME A PART OF THE WEIRD TOWN FUCK FUCK FUCK. HE'S WEARING GLASSES THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD. CAS IS SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. SOMEONE SAVE HIM AND SAM. Dean is terrified of the snake. Cas is angry. Cas is worried and understanding about how Sam feels. CAS JUST FUCKING TOLD A MAN HE'S NOT GOD BECAUSE GOD HAS A BEARD.

S14E16: JACK IS ADORABLE STAB ME IN THE GUT AND TWIST IT WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE. Jack is so awkward around other people. OMG WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT YOU FREAKING LOVEABLE DORK. JACK IS LIKE "WELL I'M TWO-TWENTY! I'M TWENTY-TWO!!!" Jack is so freaking happy hanging out with kids his "age". Oh no he's sad.

S14E17: There was supposed to be a family game night. Cas is meeting up with Anael [The fact that this is Daneel and Misha on the same set is amazing]. Nick is back and off his rocket. Anael and Cas discuss God. Jack is going dark side. Woops. Jack sweetheart you're worrying me. Jack what did you do. Jack?

S14E18: Jack what did you do to Mary. What did you do. This is very scary. Oh wait he KILLED HER. WOW. OKAY. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIX THAT SHIT. DEAN WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. SAM TOO. DEAN MIGHT TRY TO KILL HIM BUT THEN SAM WILL STOP HIM AND TELL JACK TO NEVER COME BACK AND CAS WOULD BE SO TORN BECAUSE HE PROMISED TO PROTECT JACK BUT HE KILLED MARY AND WOW THE WRITERS REALLY DUG DEEP WITH THIS ONE. Cas is remembering one of his first hunts with Mary. Did Dean just... Did he tell Cas that if Jack did something to Mary he's dead to him? I think he did. Huh. Welp, time to dig a hole in the ground, huddle into a fetus position and cry. Cas is not even mad. We are fine. Nothing is wrong. Oh wow what is this? A guilt trip down memory lane? Why are you hurting us by showing us all the nice missing moments between Mary and the rest? Is this fun for you you sadistic fucks? Jack needs a snickers. Mary is dead. Wow. Sam just stopped Cas from walking over to Dean. Wow.

S14E19: Dean gives a beautiful speech. Bobby is back. Cas is still protective of Cas. There's a lot of awkward silences between Dean and Cas. Made-up Lucifer is a dick. What do you mean Cas doesn't love Jack um hello? He gave away his chance at happiness for Jack. Fuck you Made-up Lucifer. Oh no. Dean is crying alone. Naomi Bitch Replacement is messing with Jack's head. Fuck her. A pillar of salt? Really?. Okay so Soulless Jack is horrible. I love him so much but he was already like a toddler playing with a bazooka. Now he's like a SADISTIC toddler playing with a bazooka with no soul. It really feels like Cas is the only one left with a sense of rationality. Cas is pissed at Sam and Dean for locking Jack up.

S14E20: So, Jack's pissed. Dean calls Jack a monster and I think why it bothered Castiel so much is because that would mean Castiel is a monster too. Chuck is BACK BABY AND OHHH BOI IS THIS A RIDE. Cas is so done. Dean smashes a guitar. Chuck and Dean yell at each other. Chuck is such a dork. Castiel is so pissed. Jack and Castiel reunite. Sam has a talk with Chuck. Chuck breaks the fourth wall. Dean is here to kill Jack. Cas doesn't want that. Dean and Jack are about to die. Jack is okay with that. Welp CHUCK IS HORRIBLE AND NOPE. DID CHUCK JUST KILL JACK. NO NO. CHUCK'S GONE DARK SIDE. No why is Jack dead. This isn't fair. 

S15:

S15E01: Cas does NOT like that a demon inside Jack's body. Chuck literally jump-started the apocalypse. Cas is not okay.

S15E02: You can't tell me that Cas telling Dean it wasn't all a lie isn't him telling Dean that what they have is real. WELCOME BACK KEVIN TRAN, ADVANCED PLACEMENT. Kevin is BACK BABY. God and Amara are being siblings. Rowena and Ketch together are very weird and Crowley will NOT approve.

S15E03: Rowena is awesome. Cas and the demon inside Jack are very... Iffy with each other. Belphegor is awesome. Cas literally just FUCKING PUSHED BELPHEGOR INTO HELL AND JUMPED AFTER HIM WITH A COMPLETE STRAIGHT FACE WOW HE IS SO DONE. Cas tells Belphegor that Jack is like a son to him. Cas is forced to sing a song to praise Lucifer. Shit is going down. Cas and Belphegor did NOT work out. Wait does that mean Cas will get stuck in hell. Oh fuck. Oh crap. This is bad. Why does Cas has to suffer so much? Whyyy. He never wanted anything special. Just to be with Jack, Sam, and Dean. He wanted to do good. Whyyyy. ROWENA NO. NOPE. NOPE. DON'T DO IT. SAM DOESN'T WANT TO. DON'T MAKE HIM. STOP IT. ROWENA NOOOO. ALSO CAS AND DEAN STOP FIGHTING IT'S BAD. UM, DEAN? IT'D BE GREATLY APPRECIATED IF YOU AND CAS WOULD STOP FIGHTING. IT'S SCARING THE CHILDREN AND MAKING THEM CRY. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT! OH HEY I'M CRYING, WHAT A SURPRISE!

S15E04: Sam has a weird dream. Awesome fight scene though. Dean likes vegan bacon now. Or not. Wow Chuck might actually be afraid of Becky. Meeting Exes is awkward. CHUCK IS A DICK. BEING A WRITER DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO ABUSE OTHERS. FUCK YOU.

S15E05: Dean can't handle spicy jerky. Sam has bad dreams again. Um, Lilith's back? What? Is that a thing now? Wow.

S15E06: Cas is fishing now. He's also really sweet and cares about a guy who sells him fish bait. He also goes by Clearance like Meg used to call him, which is extra sweet. Cas is investigating stuff. Cas and Dean talk and Cas acts like a sassy toddler. Cas's powers are fading. Sam might have a small crush on the deaf hunter. Aww that's so nice. He saw she was naked so he turned away. Awww. What a gentleman. Dean raised you well. Dean doesn't know what's God and what's him.

S15E07: Sam and Eileen are definitely having fun, with margaritas and bacon. Dean refuses bacon, which leads us to believe he had truly given up on this world. Dean gets flirted with. Dean gets reunited with an old "friend". Sam and Eileen are AWKWARD AND DEAN IS TO BLAME BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO TEASED SAM. OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO NERDS FALL IN LOVE WHAT THE HELL. IS THAT HOW SAM FEELS WHEN HE'S WATCHING DEAN AND CAS??? THAT'S TORTURE. WOW THEY ALMOST KISSED AND THEN CAS WALKED IN OMG IT IS LIKE SAM WITH DEAN AND CAS. Cas is so pissed with shamans. OMG OMG OMG DEAN IS ABOUT TO SING OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WOW HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFULLY SOMEONE GET THAT MAN A CONTRACT HE'S SO HAPPY WHAT OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Cas became grade A at threatening people. Kudos. Dean loves Texas now. Cas and Dean are awkward. Ever remember season 1 where they found out demons existed and felt like they were in over their heads? Well now they want to fight God.

S15E08: Sam is being an overprotective boyfriend. He's so cute. Oh my god... Are they getting Adam out of the cage??? Is this happening??? I know the last season is supposed to sort of give closure to unfinished plotlines but if this really happening it's amazing. Rowena is BACK BABY. Rowena is FUCKING awesome. A real queen, if you will. Crowley would be proud. She's also gives Cas and Dean a quick couple's counseling session. Adam is out of hell. It happened. Dean so ships Eileen and Sam. Dean and Cas are AWKWARD. Michael is back. Michael and Cas talk. Cas channels his inner Lucifer. Cas and Dean FINALLY talk. CHUCK YOU FUCKING DICK GET AWAY FROM EILEEN SAM WAS FINALLY STARTING TO BE HAPPY. OMG OMG DEAN AND CAS ARE GOING TO PURGATORY??? Dean and Adam talk.

S15E09: Wow Chuck is so manipulative. Wow. Chuck is really unlikeable anymore. Woah, did Cas just call Dean stupid? Cas has SNAPPED. So happy Sam has Eileen now. Any girl that can be tied to a chair, deaf, and still kick ass and sass God in front of him deserves a Sam Winchester. Wow Sassy Cas really ain't taking Dean's BS today. Chuck is a sadistic fuck. Chuck has lost it. God Complex much? Dean and Cas are in purgatory. Getting the band back together and it feels good. Benny died. That's sad. Dean and Cas discuss the guilt. OMG WHAT HAPPENS TO CAS IN THE FUTURE??? HE GOT THE MARK AND WENT CRAZY??? AND DEAN HAD TO BURY HIM IN THE BOX??? DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THIS SHIT IS NOT CANON FANFICS CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP. HE LOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN. Meanwhile in Purgatory: Dean is looking for Cas who has disappeared and they need to go back soon and things are BAD with a capital everything. DEAN IS PRAYING TO CASTIEL OMG OMG OMG HE BARELY DID IT EVER SINCE PURGATORY ROUND 1. He admits he should've stopped Cas from leaving. He calls Cas his best friend AWWWWWWW. HE'S CRYING OH MY GOD. HE FORGAVE CAS!!! THIS IS SO CANON HDJCJRIHEISHS. OMG CAS IS OKAY AND THEY HUGGED DEAN LOOKS SO HAPPY FUCK THIS I'M CRYINGGGG. SAM AND DEAN BECAME MONSTERS??? FUCK THAT SHIT. CAS TAKES THE MARK OH NO I DON'T WANT HIM TO GO INSANE. Cas and Dean arrive at the casino. Save Sam!!! SAM, SAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. AWWWW SAM AND EILEEN KISSED AWWW. NOW WE NEED A CAS AND DEAN KISS AND WE'RE GOLDEN GUYS. LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN. I BELIEVE. Jack and Billy are BACK BABY.

S15E10: It seems like Sam and Dean lose luck. Baby shut down. Garth named his twins Sam... and Castiel. Dean is definitely not insulted. Garth is a dentist now. Dean is afraid of dentists. Dean has a dream where he and Garth are tap dancing in black and white. OH MY GOD GARTH WHAT DID YOU DO TO DEAN'S MOUTH. GARTH TOLD DEAN HE NEEDS TO GET A COLONOSCOPY AND I FREAKING DROPPED MY PHONE. CHUCK DOWNGRADED SAM AND DEAN TO NOT MAIN CHARACTERS AND NOW THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH NORMAL PEOPLE PROBLEMS HAHAHAHHAHA THIS IS AWESOME. DEAN IS HOLDING BABY CASTIEL AND HE'S LIKE "THIS CAS KEEPS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD" AND SAM ANSWERS "SO KINDA LIKE THE REAL CAS" AND THEY KNOW. Also Sam and Dean are holding babies and it's adorable.

S15E11: Cas comes back to find out Sam and Dean are going to Alaska. Cas gets a call about Jack related info. Ahem... Jack is BACK BABY! Cas is worried about Jack. Jack is tied up. Cas to the rescue! CAS AND JACK REUNITE. This is like the most interesting pool game ever. Dean and Sam's luck is BACK BABY. JACK AND SAM AND DEAN REUNITE.

S15E12: Cas is so happy Jack is back. Dean and Cas are best buddies. Cas and Jack play 4-in-a-row. Cas and Jody meet for the first time. Jack wants to help. Cas still cares a lot about Claire. Billy is PISSED.

S15E13: The recap starts with the pizza man montage, which is really the only way it could. Ruby and Anael are BACK BABY AND WELL IT IS AWESOME. [Just pointing out that the fact they brought both of Jensen and Jared's wives for this is amazing] also Cas has no chill with his sass. Cas wants to almost die and go to Empty to talk to Ruby. He gets into the Empty and runs into Empty-Meg and she called him Clearance awwww. Ruby is BACK BABY. Cas almost dies by the Empty. He comes back though. Otherworld Sam and Dean are terrifying. They seem... Okay, and it's horrible. Also they're spoiled. HELLHOUNDS BABY! Jack arrives at Eden. Jack is crying + he got his soul back!!!

S15E14: Supernatural is BACK BABY. JACK IS STILL DEPRESSED NOOOO. DEAN HAS SCOOBY-DOO UNDERTHINGS PASS IT ON. Dean and Sam meet Mrs. Butters. She's nice and she made Christmas and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July and Halloween collide in the calendar. Jack is out of his room now. Oh hey Dean's actually trying to not be angry at Jack. They have a monster radar! Lunch bag, she pack them lunch bags I-. Jack is still being sad noo. She keeps giving him smoothies. It's weird. OMG SAM IS GOING ON A DATE WITH EILEEN THEY REALLY SAID SAILEEN RIGHTS. Oh wait. Oh fuck what the fuck why is she ripping his head off oh no Jack run. Oh fuck why is she an evil mastermind all of a sudden they were happy. DEAN GETS TRAPPED TOO. DEAN BEING A REAL BROTHER BEING LIKE "YEAH I CAN WAIT UNTIL MY BROTHER IS DONE GETTING LAID FOR HIM TO COME BACK AND RESCUE ME AND OUR CO-ANGEL-CHILD". Dean is really trying with Jack my heart wow. Ugh not again with Sam and the nails the waves of nausea are hitting me-. Oh no Mrs. Butters story is really sad I don't like the old MoL. Oh goodbye Mrs. B we'll miss you. Awww Jack honey of course you can kill Chuck here I'll do it for you you just eat your nougat bars. OH MY FUCKING GOD DEAN MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE I REPEAT HE MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE JACK IS FOUR NOW CELEBRATE WITH US ALL *HYPERVENTILATING HARD*. 10/10 episode would recommend with a side of angst.

S15E15: Cas is BACK BABY! Aww Jack wants to wear matching ties. Awwwww. Sam and Dean are going after Amara. Good luck with that. Oh a church case for Cas? A little on the nose there. Oh wow this is getting dark. Aww Jack doesn't want to say something so Cas talks about himself instead. God I love them. Cas is amazing. I love him so much. Jack too. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are eating with Amara lunch. Crossroads demons are out of fashion, as per told by Rowena, the Queen of us all. Jack needs Cas' permission to create a social media account. Even the internet knows to give Cas cats. God bless the internet. Oh my god Dean and Amara talked and wow it was deep. Amara's intentions with Mary were... Wow. Poor Dean though. Wow Cas and Jack can't catch a break. Oh god Jack was stabbed he's okay but we're not okay what the hell. Once again, we are reminded that against regular humans Cas is a freaking supernatural creature with super strength and the wrath of heaven. Hey wait why does the crossroad demon look like he’s kidnapping this girl? Oh well guess we'll never find out. JACK IS GOING TO DIE? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BILLIE??? WHO AUTHORIZED THIS SHIT? HE NEEDS A PARENT OR A GUARDIAN'S PERMISSION!!! Cas not wanting to see Jack die again is hurting me. What do you mean it's not his choice Jack go to your room you're grounded until they kill Chuck. Cas um where are you going?? What do you mean in case you won't come back? Are you going where I think you're going? You better stay the FUCK away from the Empty or I swear to all that is sacred (the impala, Sam and Dean's flannel, Led Zeppelin) that I will cry. What do Sam and Dean need to know??? What is this shit????? I WILL SUE!!!!!

S15E16: Hey is he going to get killed? Called it! Hey Dean darling how about you let Sam know about Jack? Any minute now honey? No don't you fucking- Dean! Hey it's tiny Sam and Dean look at them awww. Hey Caitlin seems nice. Woah weird monster in the candy machine alert! Dean why are you so depressing this episode??? Sam being in the dark hurts me. Um Dean? What have you got there buddy? Is that a knife? Put the knife down, Dean put the knife down this isn't funny- oh thank god Sam Dean almost fillet-ed himself. Tiny Dean being scared but also macho aww. It's a Baba Yaga? A Baba FREAKIN Yaga? Wow. Omg Dean's face when he heard the woman having sex is priceless. He really grew up. Good on him. Caitlin you majestic being you managed to have Dean admit his fear wow Dean honey am I proud of you. Aww Sam is trying to call Cas. Um... Dean? OMG OMG ARE YOU TELLING HIM? YASSS SAMMY GO OFF. DEAN FUCK OFF JACK IS NOT DYING ON MY WATCH. OMG THE SILENCE. WOW.

S15E17: This starts with Amara. What a queen. I really like her now.  She can cut me with her cheekbones. Look at her. Wow. She's so pretty. Cas is there! Sam is giving Dean the silent treatment. Yeah Dean is talking depressing. AHHH AMARA IS HERE. Jack meets Amara awww. Yes I want them to spend time together YESSS. Amara and Dean are like that couple that didn't work out because they figured they'd be better as friends and it's so nice to see them. Sam is amazing wowwww. Dean WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST- WHAT DO YOU MEANT JACK ISN'T FAMILY YOU- UMM WAIT IS JACK- NOOOOOOOO!!!!! OWW MY FEELINGS. Jack looks so sad nooo. Cas is there Cas make it better. Aww Amara with a flower. Chuck is back... Yay. Lol Chuck didn't write the Dean/Amara debacle and he thinks it's weird that's amazing. Amara is amazing. Amara trying to make Chuck not act like a spoiled brat wow this is hard. I hate him with passion. AMARA YASS QUEEN GO OFFFFF. HOLD HIM. Jack you shouldn't UNDERSTAND HIM you should be PISSED. HE DID THE HELLO AJAJAGDVSHA. OH.MY.GOD I LOVE ADAM AND SERAFINA SOMEONE HUG THEM. Jack has a skittles aura wow. The final ritual, the ROCKS. Adam looks so relieved that Jack got it. OH I DID NOT NEED TO SEE HER DIGGING INTO HIS RIBS. Dean whatcha doing there buddy? Aww he thanked him!!! I still don't forgive what he said though. IT'S TIME??? IT'S TIME BABY. SAM BEING FRUSTRATED AND CAS HELPING AWWW. They found the key, HOORAH! Cas awww thank you for helping Sam. Sam no don't go alone. Empty is Meg now waaaaaht. BILLIE WANTS WHAT NOW??? Sam lying Through His Teeth to the Empty the man is a LEGEND. No Cas it's not time we need to stop this. Dean, Dean you're scaring me. Cas being angry at Jack eating the ribs the angel is legendary. Chuck you sick sick bastard what did you do you FUCKER??? AMARA STOP IT. DEAN WHAT THE HELL YOU DO NOT PULL A GUN AT YOUR BROTHER WHO THE FUCK- WHAT THE FUCK- CAS DO SOMETHINGGGG NO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. STOP IT. CHUCK YOU SHUT THE HELL UP. DEAN STOP IT STOP THE VIOLENCE. YESS SAM TELL HIM. FUCK YOU CHUCK. AMARA NOOO. DEAN OH MY GOD NO. SAM IT'S BREAKING MY HEART. NOOOO AMARA NOOO. CHUCK NEEDS TO DIE BUT NOT LIKE THIS. OMG SAM NOOO. DEAN YESSS PUT THE GUN DOWN. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OH YOU CAN GO SUCK A DICK DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CALL CAS THAT. OMG CAS IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF FREE WILL DID NOT EXPECT THAT. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OMG JACK NOOOO.

S15E18: DEAR LORD SOMEONE SAVE JACK HE CAN'T DIE NO NO NOPE NOT HAPPENING. Jack this is very sweet but they will NOT leave you. Billie not now. Yeah Dean tell her. Yass dads go OFF. WHERE IS JACK WHAT DID YOU DO BILLIE??? THE EMPTY??? NO DON'T DON'T DO THIS. JACK? JACK NO? JACK???? FUCK YOU BILLIE BRING HIM BACK. Oh you can go fuck yourself for all I care this is SO NOT THE TIME FOR THE BOOK. Yes Sam go OFF. Cas you really shouldn't be talking about the Empty. Isn't this episode when the deal goes down? Fuck you Billie you lost my respect. OMG JACK YOU'RE OKAY THANK GOD. Um... Empty? You okay there? Damn Sam being sassy. AND THEN HE GOES TO SIT IN THE CORNER HAHAHAHA. Yes Dean tell her. Did she just shush him? Empty ma gurl you good? Um, Billie? What's interesting? Jack's back BABY! He is not yours. Yes Dean go OFFF. CAS BEING A DAD. Aww Dean and Sam having a talk yes I'm so proud of my expressive babies. They be talking. Um, what new plan? What changed? Oh who this? Charlie is BACK BABY! YASSS MY QUEEN. Aww is that her gf? It's her gf. Oh okay where's her fucking gf??? Jack are you okay? Cas is worrying aww. Nothing's over Jack you're just three you have tons ahead of you. Dear lord Cas are you listening to yourself this is what you need to tell yourself OH MY GOD I'M BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL UGHHHH. Billie you're being a dick stop it.  Crap everyone's disappearing. WAIT EILEEN? NO NO NO NO YOU WILL NOT DO THIS TO ME. EILLEN IS GOING TO BE FINE. WHERE ARE THE THREE DOTS? WHY AREN'T THEY THERE??? DRIVE FASTER DEAN!!! Why is the car empty? Where is she? Sam? Aww the screensaver. FUCK. SHE'S GONE. SAM? YOU OKAY? OH GOD BILLIE FUCK YOU LOOK WHAT YOU DID. NOOO. So Dean is going to kill Death again? Neat. Um Cas? I'm all for spending time with Dean but I'm worried. Aww Dean and Sam hugged. Oh hey Donna! (Is it me or is her accent off?) Jack is silent. Jack is driving. I'm so proud of him aww. Damn the badass music is awesome. Dean with the scythe is awesome. Look at that power couple. Aww Sam and Donna hugged that's cute. Let's go. Oh hey Charlie how are you? Bobby is BACK BABY. Bobby is awesome. Um Jack? How come that plant just died??? Sneaking into Death Library because those two are idiots. Oh hey splitting up is a great idea. Hi Billie, how are you? KILL 'EM DEAN. CAS ATTACK! BILLIE YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU BILLIE. DO IT DEAN KILL THEM. WAIT WHAT? Billie didn't kill them? Who did? CHUCK? THAT MOTHER FUCKER I WILL MURDER HIM. OH GOD PEOPLE ARE DISAPPEARING. WHERE ARE THEY? WAIT, NO, NOT CHARLIE NOOO. BOBBY? NO NOT BOBBY!!! DONNA? DONNA WHAT'S HAPPENING??? DONNA? NOOO!!! Oh Billie's dead now great. You can't kill Dean though. Run you two RUN. Run like hell run. Dean? Fuck. Billie leave him ALONE. FUCK FUCK RUN AWAY. BILLIE SHUT UP THIS IS A CRISIS. CAS PROTECT DEAN. PROTECT HIM LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. YES YOU GOT HIM. FUCK YOU BILLIE FUCK YOU SO HARD. INTO THE DUNGEON. CAS REACHING INTO DEAN'S BACK POCKET AND CUTTING HIMSELF WHY??? OKAY SIGIL. SIGILS ARE NICE. OKAY GOOD DEAN IS OKAY. Dean you're being depressed this isn't helping. Billie enough of the banging. Dean you're not angry enough with this you're good. Yeah fuck Chuck but that's not the point. Dean noo. Cas do somethingggg. Dean it's okay. It's not your fault. Um Cas? What's that? Wait, the deal? Now, you're doing this now? UM, WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING? YEAH WHY NOW? YOU'RE LOOKING AT YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS DUMMY. IS, IS HE- WHAT'S HE DOING??? KNOW WHAT? AWWW LOOK AT HIS REVELATIONS. YEAH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? CAS? UM. UM???!!! YES CAS TELL HIM TELL HIM HOW YOU SEE HIM THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST. I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE. WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOOOO. CHANGED??? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING??? IT'S NOT A GOODBYE SHUT UP. D- DID HE JUST. DID HE JUST SAY- DID HE JUST SAY I- HE TOLD DEAN I LOVE YOU???!!! IS THIS A DREAM??? IS THIS REAL LIFE? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY ARE YOU CRYING??! I'M SCARED WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???? "don't do this"??? DON'T DO THIS??? WHAT DO YOU MEEEAANN??? WAIT EMPTY BACK OFF NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER THE HANDPRINT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK THIS NO I'M NOT OKAY THIS ISN'T HAPPENING NOOO. CAAAAAAAAS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEAN? DEAN DO SOMETHING?? DEAN WHAT'S HAPPENING??? WAIT WHERE IS EVERYONE? IS IT THE WHOLE WORLD? DEAN? DEAN? SAM IS CALLING YOU? DEAN? ARE YOU CRYING? YOU CAN'T CRY OTHERWISE I'LL CRY NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS FUCKING BAD.

S15E19: alright, the world is empty. Oh no Dean is coming to meet up with Sam and Jack no no this is bad the jacket. "Where's Cas?" I- DEAN OH MY GOD NOOO. OH NO JODY AND THE GIRLS NOO EVERYBODY'S GONE. Jack calling out for his dad my heart hurts no. Dean this is not the time for a beer. UH SAM NO YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP NUH-UH NOPE NOT TODAY. UM SAM, DEAN? YOU'RE NOT SACRIFICING YOURSELVES WHAT THE HELL NO. GOD I HATE CHUCK SOMEONE DESTROY HIM. SHOOT HIM IN THE GODDAMN CHEST, PLEASE. Side note: how cute is Jack in his jammies? Okay back to angst. Dean stop falling asleep on bottles. Jack? What's up honey? Aww cuteness overload from the jammies. Aww Dean found a dog look how happy he is OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LOOK AT HIS FACE AWWW AHHHH HE'S SO EXCITED. OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL CHUCK KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO BURN ALIVE OH MY GOD PUNCH HIM. Oh hey Michael long time no see? What's up? Tis a shame about Adam, truly. Oh the book? Hey I love how Jack is just off to the side, eating a nougat bar. Hey are they gonna talk now? Oh wow. Um, Cas? How are you calling? I HAVE A REALLY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS. OH MY GOD WATCH DEAN RUN. FUCK IT'S LUCIFER. WHAT DOES HE WANT. LEAVE. LEAVE. THE EMPTY LET YOU OUT AND NOT CAS? BITCH. LUCIFER YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE TEAM. Oh who that lady? Betty. Oh hi Betty. I like Betty. She makes me laugh. Lucifer building a house of cards. Jack you okay buddy? Oh hey Michael. Nobody trust Lucifer. Ohhhh how does God end? Um Lucifer? What are you doing? Why does this entire episode feel off? Wait, Chuck pulled him out? Gross. Kill him. LUCIFER LEAVE JACK ALONE. He will NEVER BE WITH YOU LUCIFER. YEAH STAB HIM GOOD MICHAEL. Jack you seem... Off? Michael you seem off. No question mark. Michael why you lying. Oh yay Sam cracked it. Hey you know the lake reminds me of where Jack was born. Oh yeah, doing spell stuff. Very badass. Um. What happened? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. CHUCK. KILL HIM. BREAK HIM. SAM, DEAN, NOOOO. MICHAEL YOU SON OF A BITCH. OH HE DED. RIP. CHUCK YOU STUPID BASTARD. What now Chuck? Gonna go kick puppies? Oh wait, you already DID. DAMN SAM I'M PROUD OF YOU. OH CHUCK DON'T YOU DARE. NO. NO. OW. NO. NO THIS IS HORRIBLE. THIS IS AWFUL. STOP IT. STOP HURTING THEM. NO. NO. HEY DOES ANYBODY FEEL A WEIRD DÉJÀ VU? LIKE, DIDN'T BECKY MENTION IT? "No classic rock, no Cas"? OH MY GOD THIS IS CHUCK'S ENDING. THE ENDING HE WROTE. FUCK. THE META. IT'S DEEP. NO STOP IT. STOP HURTING HIM. OH MY GOD OWWWW. OH PLEASE CHUCK THEY'LL NEVER STAY DOWN. SHUT THE FUCK UP CHUCK. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO HARD. IT IS NOT ENOUGH. FUCK YOU. YEAH SAM HELP DEAN UP. YEAH YOU WON. LOOK AT JACK ALL CUTE IN HIS WHITE SHIRT. Jack you look nice. Is that a new haircut? HAHA Chuck you can't do anything. YESSS!!!!! FUCK YEAH JACK YESS YOU DO THAT YESS I'M SO PROUD. I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU. OF ALL OF YOU. FUCK YES. Wait the book is blank? Wah- oh my god it's monologue time, bitch. I love this plan. It's awesome. Oh so that's what happened to Jack. They tricked you Chuck. Punched you right in your stupid face. METAPHORICALLY. They're not going to kill you. They're better than that. You fucker. Dean's no killer you fucker. Neither is Sam. Oh. Oh yes. OH YESS. THEY'RE WALKING AWAY. THIS IS BETTER THAN I'VE EVER HOPED. I'M SO SO PROUD OF THEM. DEAN SAYS THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS HE LISTENED TO CAS OH MY GOD. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM ALL. MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE IT. OH MY GOD. OH YESS LEAVE HIM TO ROT IN THE DIRT. YESSS. YESSS. YESSSSS!!!!! I'M SO SO SO FUCKING PROUD OF THEM ALL HOLY SHIT THEY DID THE GROWTH THING OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT. YEAH CHUCK THEY LEFT YOU, DEAL WITH IT. YES. I'M SO HAPPY. Aww is Jack going to bring everyone back? *Gasp* is he going to bring Cas back? Are we getting a reunion? OH MY GOD THE MUSIC IS SO NICE. JACK LOOKS SO AMAZING. THE PEOPLE ARE BACK!!! LOOK AT JACK SMILING ALL IN PEACE I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. I'M SO, SO PROUD OF HIM. HE GETS IT. HE GETS THE BEAUTY IN HUMANITY AND IN EARTH. IS JACK THE NEW GOD NOW? DEAN AND SAM ARE SO PROUD OF HIM. OH MY GOD IS JACK NOT COMING BACK? WHAT? WHY? Jack I just want you to know I love you so much. You're so smart and understanding and caring. You're better than God. You're Jack. Dean I know it's hard but Jack knows what he's doing. Jack understands faith. He understands family. He understands love. He understands. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME I MEAN I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BUT NOOO MY BABY YOU'RE A BABY AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE ONE YES. Sam and Dean, alone at the bunker. I'm so proud of them. They've come such a long way ever since the start. They get to be free now. But they're alone. Not for long. Next episode, everyone is coming back.  OH NO THE TABLE. THE FUCKING TABLE. NO NO NO THEY WROTE JACK AND CASTIEL I CAN'T HANDLE IT SOMEONE HOLD ME. LOOK AT THEM DRIVING MY BABIES A MONTAGE OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING THE TEARS NO THEY LOOK SO HAPPY THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH. OH THE FAMILY DINNER. THE COWBOY HATS. THIS ID NOT OKAY. THE DINNER WITH TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING I LOVE EVERYTHING. 

 S15E20 will be posted a few days after the episode!

[nofliight]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stole it from @sternenteile​ and honestly others tbh tagging: TAKE

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ for better or for worse, he’s THE face of kid icarus, after all. he’s a dork and funny and likeable and even if the fandom tends to get him WRONG (thanks smash bros) there’s no denying his popularity ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i don’t??? think so??? most people are too busy talking about how they think he’s like 5 ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ EVEN THE FANDOM AIN’T GONNA MESS THIS UP. MAN FIGHTS GODS. CALL THAT WEAK. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ make no mistake - pit’s got fans and plenty of them but he’s so MISTREATED by the fandom. his character is a lot more complex than he gets credit for and smash bros in particular is a big reason people think he’s just Big Dumb Baby Man ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE CENTRAL FIGURE UPON WHOM THE NARRATIVE IS STRUCTURED AROUND, YEAH HE’S PRETTY RELEVANT. Uprising is literally made to tell the story of a war exclusively through the perspective of a single side and Pit (and Palutena) are the EMBODIMENT of that whole side. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ and a perfect one at that. he’s literally a perfect protagonist don’t tell me i’m wrong cause i’m not ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ pit is beloved by humans... and mocked by the Gods. seen by most as a spineless extension of palutena’s will, most “respect” of any variety goes to palutena while he gets treated as a joke 99% of the time... and it’s not like Palutena gets too much respect either ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (????) [ Uhhhhhh... it’s an odd one. Short answer is that Pit’s a good samaritan who’s done a lot of good BUT most of the gods think protecting humanity is a Folly and a Joke and that Pit’s just a pawn of Palutena’s and while the humans do hold a lot of respect for him, uh............. let’s just say, some humans on the surface have reasons not to be too happy with him. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  about as much as I need to to respect one of my favorite video games of all time. while kid icarus uprising is a comedic game most of the way through it has a lot more nuance and depth to itself, its world, and its characters than one can see at first glance, even after a full playthrough. if you let yourself get invested in the characters, take a closer look at the dialogue it provides, and acknowledge the central, core storytelling message of the game for what it is, there’s a lot more to pull out than one would think. that being said, it’s still a comedic video game and one that I think could use some more expansion. though the game is inconsistent there seems to be the consensus that pit is like a child and I’m not into that, mine’s a bit more showing in his cynical and snarky side after all he’s been through and overall there’s a lot of expansion on the base while building it into something unique.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imagine your typical bootstrapped anime protagonist. someone who, when younger, was a runt who couldn’t meet the expectations of others, was looked down on, and found himself crushed and hurt and near-killed by a great tragedy that he was forced to claw his way out of to make himself stronger. Now imagine all of that with a character who comes out still able to have a very real smile and ultimately comes out of it a self-assured, chipper goofball with a good heart. now put that together with all of the darkness and depth you would have expected to be there, but scattered realistically throughout the attitude of someone who does genuinely want to keep a positive attitude. someone who is sincerely an optimist who’s grown past his weaker days, but isn’t quite so simple as he’d like to believe. all of that combined with someone who can’t read, is willing to eat ice cream off the floor in times of duress, is extremely easy to fluster and can channel his goddess’ power to slay GODS? you got one strong man.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  his positive attitude is what most people will see when speaking to him, because for what it’s worth, he’s not actively lying about his depth. he’s a cheerful, jovial man with a big smile and a love of the world around him - which is all well and good, but his depth is something you have to find, even if it is reasonably clear if you’re willing to look. he’s also portrayed as a bit unreasonably dumb at times, and though I personally justify the worst of it with proper explanations, I can understand reducing some of the value of the character in favor of seeing all of his Jokes

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i made my original pit blog, flightlesswarrior, on a total whim after playing kid icarus uprising. cute character, fun premise, why not? but over time, and with numerous plots I was able to take part in exploring the serious, not so serious, shipping, tragedy, and going back through the game to keep my muse rolling, it occurred to me more and more with time just how nuanced and interesting pit and co. really are. pit embodies many of the things i really, truly love in a protag, falling firmly on the side of good, having a heart of genuine gold, and having nuances and parts of his personality that are less than savory without making him seem like a contradiction. he’s got depth, he’s got story, there’s a lot to explore and flesh out... and he’s also just a nice, friendly guy who gets along well with others. plus, i’m drawn to dorks.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  a) love for Kid Icarus: Uprising. a game that helped me gain a deeper and more insightful understanding of character development, subtle storytelling, optimism still tinged with legitimate and healthy cynicism, and overall something that changed my understanding of character development and storytelling forever. and b) spite. the fandom treats him like an idiot baby and smash DOES NOT help matters so i have to remind others that he is a veteran of a war, a socially inept loser with few real friends, and someone who’s kindness and optimism was shaped and molded by its hardships in a way that doesn’t require a near-breaking point or a reminder that “this guy could be evil you know” to show how someone can still keep a positive attitude in spite of all the shit life throws at him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO [ i’d like to think i have?? but i also acknowledge that he’s become something of his Own in some ways that do intentionally diverge from sakurai’s intentions. ultimately though, even though i may not play him completely true to text, i try to be as loyal as i can be to the spirit of the character. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ when i can!! but??? the problem is my mind really, really likes to reiterate the Same Damn Points i have to make with characters that draws me to them - and you know, writing the same hcs over and over is generally considered poor form?? ngl i also prefer to let the writing do the talking unless it’s something that’s not gonna show so 90% of the time pit’s open enough that all but the darker sides of his mind are lain out before you. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ maybe??? once or tWICE???? but i need to write more ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ I REALLY DO, HOO MAMA. i have a lot of thoughts about him, his depth, potential relationships, goofy thoughts, more serious fanfic ideas im never gonna write and don’t get me started on how many SHIPS i have to think about for him ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO [ my portrayal is made out of spite for portrayals in the fandom and some supplementary material that gets him wrong - it’s kinda hard to do that without the confidence ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / ??? [ it’s uhh........ complicated??? i don’t think writing is my expertise, tbh. but it is the best way i have to show the passion i have for characters, by putting their nuances into actions, by allowing them to shine from who they are their core, by exploring relationships and scenarios and struggles and hope and everything that can flesh a character out. whether or not i’m a good writer is something i’m still sorting out - but i’m proud of my ability to develop a character, and to that end i feel like i’m doing fine ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ on one hand......... very. i have a tendency to overthink everything i do and look back at moments i made an ass of myself that keep haunting me throughout my day - they haunt me. i only have two fears: what my immediate friend group thinks of me and the crushing existential weight of worrying one day i’m gonna ruin everything i am SOFT. that being said, i’m also hardheaded and stubborn and i’m not afraid to go off on someone i don’t have much respect for if it comes down to it. i’m easy to anger when it comes down to it you know i guess that proves the point huh i’m not stonefaced at all ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i try to? it’s a bit touchy for me I admit just because I do take portrayals and try to make them my own, but i am willing to listen if someone has any points they’d like to make that i haven’t acknowledged properly. if criticism IS had, lemme know, i do wanna hear it!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —   Y  E  S

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  not that everyone who disagrees with my opinions has to explain themselves of course, but i do sincerely like the chance to learn if something i’m doing doesn’t quite feel right. even if it’s one-sided and i’ll come to disagree, i’m happy to listen! even if i don’t agree with the disagreement head-on, i like to keep them in mind and see what i can shift around to acknowledge them if necessary

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — neutral?? i mean don’t be mean about it, but if you just think my pit doesn’t seem right or it doesn’t click right with your muse i’m not gonna throw a fit about it. everyone’s allowed to view a character in their own way - and even if i may get salty about those who oversimplify him, it IS anyone’s right to view him how they will.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — agree to disagree tbh. i can’t pretend it wouldn’t disappoint me, but it’s not like, worth ending a friendship over or anything. everyone’s got their own viewpoints to run on

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, within reason! i take pride in my grammar but i know that with my fast typing and often running on only a few hours of sleep some problems do slip in through the cracks. while i generally either catch them or just Die with them i’m all ears if i mess up

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m?? kind of a socially anxious mess honestly which DOES make being easy going a bit difficult BUT i do try and be friendly and sociable as i....... can. i’m too scared to talk to people and CAN say some dumb things but i’m not a hardass or anything!! i like to talk and Yell and shitpost and pretty much do anything but write tbh DHFLKSJDF

[televinita]

Little Women (2019): Thoughts

REQUIRED READING: the prequel post about my background going in to this film.

SNAPSHOT VERSION: Though I have some casting qualms, and may adjust my opinions after I reread the book, mostly I think this is everything my heart has needed since the magic of the ‘94 movie was broken for me. My heart is very full.

FULL VERSION: Twice as long as the prequel post (a.k.a. 1800 words), starts below.

I did not expect LW to be the first Unexpected Comeback Fandom of 2020 (or a comeback fandom ever, really), but here I am, having spent every day since I saw this film mooning about this story and looking up different editions and supplemental books in the library catalog, so I'd better process how I feel about it while the memories are relatively fresh.

Most of my thoughts are on casting rather than specific scenes because like I said, I can’t remember the book super well, so I’d like to get my movie memories to fade so that the book can surprise me. Also because I think I will have a more in-depth post about them when I watch the film a 2nd time, whether that’s in theaters or on DVD. But here’s what I’ve got for now.

ON CASTING

In no particular order --

* Emma Watson is very pretty but it is so hard to take her seriously as an actress. She's just Emma Watson, Famous For Being In Harry Potter and Getting Hired For Other Big Name Projects. I feel like she's so consciously acting all the time. She made a not-terrible Meg, I guess? No worse than she made a Belle. But it was roughly as hilarious watching her try to be a mother now as it was watching her try to be a mother in the last Harry Potter movie. To the point that I just kept hearing the "Damn! I'm SO maternal!" song playing as her theme in the background at all times. * I realized 6 days prior to seeing the movie that Florence Pugh is recognizable because she's in Midsommar and honestly, that just ruined everything for me. I didn't even see that film, I just know it's gross and I would hate it and while she is not tainted forever like the 50 Shades actors, she is definitely too tainted for Little Women. Also I could not stop thinking about how I associate Amy with being very dainty and prim and Florence, while perfectly lovely, is not. * Laura Dern was kind of strangely modern and kooky for Marmee, but I love her as an actress and I loved that she was just like "HELLO STRANGE NEIGHBOR BOY, COME BE MY FIFTH CHILD." So I was OK with that. * ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH BOB ODENKIRK. What kind of anachronistic garbage. What crack were you on, because it was obviously not the good stuff. "Did I stumble into an SNL parody??" I wondered more than once. * Meryl Streep as Aunt March was AMAZING. Ten Oscars. * Beth consistently looked younger than Amy, so that was weird. She was okay but kind of childlike, and failed to make Beth my favorite like she is in the book. * JO! Saoirse Ronan is by far my favorite actress in this set, but I didn't think she was right for Jo going in. "Jo's not a redhead!" I said, indignantly stamping my foot, because my childhood-era love for this novel reigns defensively supreme like for no other classic besides Black Beauty. (another 1994 classic they should remake soon, even though I love that version. Just saying.)

But damned if she did not COMPLETELY embody every essence of Jo there is and make Jo my favorite character this time. Truly, nobody except Meryl Streep so thoroughly matched my expectations for their character. Ten Oscars, part II. Or at least the one she is actually nominated for. If Jo loses to ScarJo I will riot. * John was nice. I feel like he was exactly what he was supposed to be, which is to say kind of plain and milquetoast but perfect for Meg. I don't actually remember him existing in the novel, so that was an interesting game of "how important is this guy?" until suddenly Meg was getting married and I realized I did, in fact, have a very dim memory of a wedding from the book. I think I will like their romance more the second time around, though. * Mr. Laurence was VERY EXCELLENT. IDK why I know the actor, even after looking him up, but I liked him in this role a lot. His grandfatherly quasi-adoption of Beth was so sweet. * As for Professor Bhaer...UGH. I hated him on sight and my brain wouldn't even let me recognize who he was for like 3 scenes, I was just like, "who is this random boarding lodger and why are we focusing on that weirdo." I mean, he's objectively handsome? But he did not do it for me. He lacked the gravitas I expect from this character and his thick accent scraped my ears and drove me insane (update from the future: his accent is also driving me insane in the book, where I have peeked in at a few chapters as incentive to reread. whyyyyyyy). * LAURIE: maybe it's been too long since I read the book, but never could I ever have imagined I'd want to use the term "fuckboy" to describe Laurie. It wasn't even Ski Chalet's face so much as it was that in all present-day scenes (post-rejection), he is such an insufferable, melodramatic, pouting trash heap that I didn't want him to marry any of them at that point. (Also YOU STILL DIDN'T MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE GOES FOR AMY, so good job.**) However, I took especial delight in paying attention to all the cuddly platonic friend cuddling he heaped on Jo growing up, in focus or in the background, and I loved it...kind of a lot? The ship radar made noise. That noise is getting louder by the day, smoothing away his faults. He may have permanently taken up residence in my mind's eye as the new Laurie. ...this is the worst. Make it cease. (**update from the future, I am peeking at the book and it looks like it's a lot easier to understand both in text and when you're inside Laurie's head. He is still clearly sulking his way through Europe, but in a way it's easier to recover from. Also, I don’t have time to unpack this but as I finish the edits on this post I started 5 days ago, I’m starting to think I could not only ship Laurie/Amy, but believe in it from the start.) ACTUAL PLOT AND FILM QUALITY

+ The shifting between past and present was very jarring right off the bat, but after that I think it worked.

+ I loved the attic play rehearsals so much

+ I am so glad Jo’s shorn hair is both fleeting and as hideous as it should look, and not Pixie Cut Chic (Childhood Me wailed at that part reading the book)

+ I remember hardly anything about the book's Part II / Good Wives, so basically everything in their adult lives was news to me. Amy and Aunt March go to Europe? Jo goes to live by herself in New York? Meg marries a relative pauper? Any of this could be true to the book or just made up as an alternate idea to explore, and I would be none the wiser. That made it more fun. (NOBODY SPOIL ME ON WHAT'S TRUE)

+ It did not occur to me until just now that the part where Jo publishes her version of Little Women is not in the book (right?), but that was beautifully done.

+ The house interiors were breathtaking. It's not like I don't regularly watch period pieces, but this time there was just something about seeing an old house, like the ones I am often in for estate sales, decorated the way I always imagine seeing when I enter those homes, that kind of made me tear up. + The outside shots were pretty too + Jo made me cry with her I'm so LONELY! speech, rude. (I went into this movie thinking I was 100% on board to finally read Alcott’s sequels for their Jo/Professor content, and now I'm like 'ah damn it is gonna be the season for the Jo/Laurie AU novel, isn't it.')

+ A strike against Beth and/or the actress playing her: I did not cry about her death (in my defense I was busy crying about Jo's pain).

+ I did NOT remember precisely how Laurie & Amy got married, so even though I knew it happened eventually, I felt that sucker punch to the gut reveal just about as hard as Jo did. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR WIFE.

+ My mom said she’d heard this movie was lauded as being super feminist, which rarely goes well for me, but I thought it felt like really authentic "married women literally were not allowed to control their own income and it sucked" 19th century feminism, and not someone using their 21st century voice to claim this is how people would have REALLY talked if The Patriarchy Of Historical Record hadn't silenced/suppressed it. Nothing rankled me. I’m very confused by the people who think it says Jo is queer and/or didn’t end up with the Professor, but if that’s what you see then I guess it’s a win/win situation for all of us. + LOVED the closing montage. + Basically, at all times that I wasn't annoyed by the casting, I was feeling the same magic I did while reading the book and/or while watching the 1994 movie as a child. I can’t think of any parts I really hated.

IN CONCLUSION

Part of me is honestly kind of sad I didn't reread the book before watching this movie, because even though I usually prefer to go movie first and then get the Expanded Edition that is the book, in this case I wish I'd taken my last chance to properly visualize everything in my head on my own -- since I’ve mostly forgotten the ‘94 film -- before the new movie washed it away forever. This is one of the rare times I would have liked to hope and guess what would be shown vs. cut, and be able to anticipate the thrill of seeing the page come to life.

However, seeing it was the impetus I needed to finally take my childhood copy off the shelf (and thank heavens I have it, because the library request is backed up 3 or 4 deep for every copy), and it took all of 5 minutes to get instantly sucked into chapter 1 and feel such rapturous joy and familiarity that I consciously cut myself off and decided I am going to journal out my feelings after each chapter on this reread. So that’s something!

[vaguely-concerned]

Temeraire let’s read: Crucible of Gold AHOY!

- lol I’m glad hammond is back, he is phenomenally funny. I do love me a bureaucrat character who won’t let trifling things like dignity, morality, politeness or common sense get in the way of their job 

- it is a CRIME that Tharkay had to leave before he got to see Laurence all sun-bronzed and casually dressed and golden haired and relaxed, I wish to petition the universe itself on his behalf to correct this injustice 

- hahaha shen li is the best; a buddhist dragon would be the greatest party pooper among her own kind 

shen li, serenely: attachment to material things can only bring suffering

literally every other dragon, dripping bling from every available surface: um actually

- . . . without the clinging stink of murder and treachery which seemed to have by slow octopoid measures attached itself to his life. laurence I understand where you’re coming from on this but you have served colonial britain since you were like twelve. this has been an extremely slow process of waking up to smelling dem roses (fatherhood changes your perspective on your life situation I guess)

- awwwwww laurence finally studying some more chinese while temeraire helps him... no no this is just rain on my face yes I know I’m indoors it’s just me and lady allendale sitting here with our arms around each other crying about our boy reading poetry of his own freeish will

- oooh I really like how novik writes the way hammond talks -- it can be hard to write a character who constantly breaks up their own dialogue and interrupts themselves and continually couches their words without it being hard to read and annoying, but she really nails communicating that he’s a) completely graceless and with no dignity but also undeniably intelligent, b) definitely a Diplomat but not a total weasel, if only by a hair, c) hilarious

- pour one out for laurence’s civilian beard with me guys, gone too soon and dearly missed (and again tharkay didn’t even get to see it! this continues to be the greatest tragedy of these books let’s hope he grows it out again later when they’re all settled down.) 

- . . . These were distinguished from the others mainly for their having had less time in their careers to demonstrate a lack of initiative or skill, so he could have some small hope of uncovering some previously hidden talent. OH MY GOD LAURENCE the straight up savagery 

- DAD!LAURENCE!!! DAD!LAURENCE!!!!!!! (aaah it’s so interesting that when he gets a bit more stern you can definitely see sides of his father peeking out, but he deeply remains his mother’s son -- he’s acting from a place of affection, feeling of responsibility and concern for their futures, not the weird controlling shit lord allendale routinely pulls)

roland is such a teenager at this point oh my god. also laurence’s whole speech to demane about respecting her boundaries and agency... *chef kiss emoji* and ALSO demane is so sympathetic in this still because who HASN’T wanted to dangle some asshole over a cliff for being a creep to your friend/crush... they’re all good and perfect and I love them actually

- ...I’ve managed to put it out of my mind in the last few books but with the allegiance going down like that I keep remembering there were so many actual children onboard and now I feel ill

being an adult and realizing the full fuckedupedness of these things sucks haha

- 1) the description of seeing the ship sinking from underwater is hauntingly beautiful and 2) as I have said many a time before, thank god for demane

- see this is the other side of the coin of these books making you care so deeply about the characters; I know that no important characters die in this book but I am still so fucking stressed out by all of this D:D:D:

- well well well if gong su’s ludicrous competency wasn’t suspicious before it certainly is now, I guess china trains its spies well in the culinary arts haha

- I mean uh. what a way to symbolically and literally sever laurence from his former life and former self, I guess. you’d be hard pressed to do so more explosively at least

 - something extremely bad happened to granby, we can tick that off the list

- I feel like the prose and writing in general is super improved in this one? it feels sharp and purposeful in a way the last few haven’t quite been

- He hoped Riley would be mourned; Riley deserved to be mourned ahfksahsdajklhsajkfhaslkjfhsakjdfhdaslkfhakj pain :(:(:( I’m so sorry laurence and I didn’t even like the guy. I can’t believe that the first thing this madman does after trying to secure their survival as best he could is writing letters -- on dragonback!!! hands stiff from cold so he can only work in five minute increments!!! -- to make sure riley’s memory isn’t blackened how can he be like this

- emily roland is so smart and capable and amazing my heart is blooming with pride

- iridescent feathered dragons... holy shit this is awesome

temeraire has a little feather envy tho and also maila casually eavesdropping so he can chat up (literally) hot babes... I know they’re prisoners of war and everything but this is all pure unadulterated gold

- oh temeraire darling no have no fear hammond has no self respect whatsoever, that will not be what stops him

- I can’t believe laurence is actually taking time to tie himself in knots over not following perfect procedure around his officers’ future career options while they’re FUCKING MAROONED with a bunch of asshole sailors fkdfhsjdh

- GET YOUR DIRTY FUCJING HANDS OFF DEMANE OR I’LL CHOP THEM OFF FOR YOU YOU SWINE

sipho is like eleven and a nerd and ready to run at all these grown men armed just with a branch PAIN

- granby’s unending exasperation at laurence not knowing all the stuff that seems self-evident to him having grown up with dragons fksjdhfskajd

- aw laurence finally having a little dad talk with roland ;____; and demane has proposed to her repeatedly and she would agree in a moment under other circumstances ;________________; and it never even occurred to me that that’s why she was so upset about him taking on his own dragon but of course that would fuck everything up if that’s what she was planning OH NO ;_________________________________________________;

laurence confirmed for boytoy & hideously embarrassed about it flasdfsdkjhfksd 

“But I don’t want someone I want, if I can’t be sure of seeing him one week in the year” crack crack goes the sound of my heart breaking

I hope they find a way to solve this eventually :(

- really interesting what a clear view emily has of roland and laurence’s relationship tho, considering he’s basically her father figure -- like there’s clear affection, physical attraction and camaraderie there but it never feels particularly romantic & they both have other shit to do. (and laurence knows it too on some level, considering his main emotion when she refuses his proposal is relief lol. it really shows off this central conflict he has where like... he has a very clear idea of who he feels he should be and managed to convince himself he was for a long time, and what that man wants and needs (namely very little, emotionally) and is loyal to. aaaand then there’s the person he actually is, who’s been fighting his way to the surface since temeraire showed up in the very first book and sort of woke him up by giving him something he actually loves and values with all of himself and can’t compromise on. proper gentleman/navy!laurence feels like he has to do what society deems decent and marry roland to be a good person, actual!laurence seems to know that what they already have isn’t wrong or immoral in any way as long as they’re both happy with it. ugh I love him and I hope his last remaining character development includes realizing that who he really is is not only acceptable but actually a better man than that imagined perfect self ever could be and how many people love him for who he is already A N Y W A Y onwards)

- the incan dragons continue to be dope as hell

it’s super interesting how they’ve grown to value people -- and not just one special person, like british dragons, but whole groups of people -- over gold and jewels. like the tendency is there in dragons from other cultures; temeraire loves The Bling but would still easily prioritize laurence and his crew over it. presumably some of it is cultural and some of it must stem from the sheer trauma of losing so many people within a few centuries, which is basically living memory for a dragon (which makes it equal parts sympathetic/heartwarming and juuuuust on the edge of being too creepy and possessive haha).

- jeez this book is doing a good job at showing what a haunting fucking sight it must be to enter a land where like. 90% of the people are dead in plague and their cities stand abandoned

- fhasdklhfaskljfhs hammond going full diplomat on the dragons squabbling... he truly is something

and laurence apologizing to demane because he was out of line and he is a fellow captain now T_____T lord allendale could never

- haven’t had a lot to say for a while because I’m just so entranced with the world building and stuff haha, I find the irl history of this area super interesting as well

- ambassador iskierka........ what a time to be alive

poor poor poor granby hahahaha

- if these books were named harry potter style this one would be ‘william laurence and that time he tried to put off wearing his ceremonial robes for as long as humanly possible’

- granby being good at drawing but having atrocious handwriting is such a good little character detail, novik is just so expert at nonchalantly plopping them in 

- temeraire is being haunted by a green-eyed monster the size of a continent huh lol fair play to maila tho, he’s given it his sleazy all right from the start

I can’t believe gong su invented dragon ice cream solely so temeraire could eat it out of a tub over this... the real mvp

- awwww granby <3 I’m glad there’s some actual canonical queer rep in this series as well (as for the technically not stated straight(heh) out in canon... listen my friends if you can come up with any kind of heterosexual explanation for normally extremely sensible tenzing tharkay gazing at his friend and thinking shit like ‘in the fading light he was a statue gilded by sunlight’ and ‘it was a pang not unmixed with pleasure to look on him, as ever’, you are free to try to come at me with it but I won’t believe you lol. also laurence has the most potent disaster bisexual energy of any man in modern media even if he hasn’t quite caught on to it himself) 

tbh I know it’s mostly in desperation but they should come up with some new kind of medal to give granby for having this particular Talk with william laurence, one of the most awkward men to ever walk this earth... braver than any us marine etc.

- temeraire and iskierka in this scene STRONGLY evoke dirtbag teens sneaking off to make out in the backseat of a car or something god bless

- ...I guess you can’t fault the empress for siding with the dude already crashing like a natural catastrophe over his own home continent and who is eyeing the other six like a starving eagle would a pack of mice. all the europeans suck but I guess it’s sort of her best bet to ally herself with the biggest bully on the playground, especially since forces in her own court would be hard pressed to do anything about the situation. respect sister & congratulations granby lol

- hahahahahahaha leave it to hammond to be forcibly adopted by a dragon 

poor churki tho she’s a grownass adult and she only has one weird coke-addled diplomat and three basically adolescent dragons to work with here

- GRANBY SETTING SOME BOUNDARIES FINALLY I’m so proud of him ;__; this book really does have a lot to say about dragon/human relations huh

- LETHABO!!!!!!!!!!! man i’m so happy she’s doing well, she fucking deserves it and she’s doing good work

- laurence has evolved to his ultimate form of give-no-fucks-do-some-good laurence and hammond was not prepared lol 

“You forget yourself, Captain Laurence,” Hammond said . . . 

“I forget nothing,” Laurence answered . . . 

im crying b/c he literally has forgotten before but remembers himself at the end of victory of eagles b/c of tharkay and and aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh here he is refusing to do the dirty work he’s handed once more 

- lily and maximus! this is not a drill it’s the good good kids back at it again. also temeraire’s phenomenally misplaced sense of superiority re: his reaction to kulingile growing bigger than any of them fkshdfksahdfkj

- berkely <3

- poor harcourt :( ah well she’ll survive it tho he wasn’t that important it’s not like she lost her dragon lol (I honestly can’t feel that bad about riley considering y’know how he was not only chill with but actively for the institution of slavery)

- YOOOOOOO GONG SU! and temeraire is so happy they’re going back to china aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I love this (laurence’s stammering outrage at this reveal is also highly entertaining “he STAYED in my father’s HOUSE!!!!!!!”)

- man that entire last battle scene was so cool in the context of the rest of the series; the sheer effort and ingenuity that went into avoiding a bigger battle and slyly aiding the only worthy cause in the situation (the tswana and freeing the slaves) is so satisfying, especially after VoE

- holy shit I really enjoyed this one! It had a good balance of travelling/character moments and giving us time with the culture and characters of the Inca and their dragons, as well as driving the overall plot forward splendidly! I also feel like we got some more meat to the laurence POV (in hindsight it feels like it was mostly temeraire POV in tongues of serpents, which is fine but I do love our golden boy and his slow burn character development too)

on to blood of tyrants! I don’t know anything about this one except a) amnesia and b) some Very Important Lines I’ve already picked up along the way, I’m not sure I’m prepared (as a trope amnesia can be pretty hit or miss for me, so it’ll be interesting at least!)

[hoothootcatdaddy]

Jimin and antis’ holier-than-thou appeal to OT7ness

Here’s the thing - I’m not a seasoned fan of BTS. I’ve been in love with them for only the past 2 years. I shipped Yoonmin briefly, and then Jikook. So I only have a taste of “classic” BTS inside jokes, or “traditionally-popular” ships/members/images of the ships and members that have taken root in the minds of ARMY - e.g. Jimin has no Jams running joke. And clearly, there are some gems there, but at the same time, let’s not kid ourselves - many of these jokes are at best, outdated, and at worst, reductive and harmful. I personally wouldn't want RM to be insecure about his dancing, nor would I want Tae to be pressurised into being something he's not just to maintain a 4D image. But what's even worse is that it seems like many of these inside jokes have been used by the antis of solo members/BTS in general, so that they have the particular effect of sculpting an image of the members in a reductive and horrible way, while at the same time allow said joke makers to fall back on the excuse of, "this is a joke, look ARMY, I'm one of you, I know your inside jokes". It's cowardly, but it's pretty useful - and while I absolutely detest when antis of BTS do that, what I want to address in this post is how I abhor when antis of individual members rely on this cheap tactic to disguise their hate and get into the good side of the other members' stans.

And as you can guess, what I want to address is how JIMIN in particular has been the target of these tactics.

In particular, I would like to note one particular way that Jimin antis do this, which I've noticed some other bloggers address - the OT7 trick. As I've stated before, I am only into BTS for a short while, and having the benefit of being primarily on Tumblr, I get kind of sheltered from the majority of the hate towards Jimin, which I see now operates primarily on Twitter (and almost everywhere else apart from Tumblr). So for the longest time, I didn't really believe Tumblr blog writers when they talk about the extensive hate that Jimin hates - my thoughts were that, there may be hate but surely other members receive them too. But now that I operate more on Twitter, and I've started reading the comments on Youtube videos [especially those that are supposed to be ship/member-neutral], I've really opened my eyes.

It is truly an amazing thing - you literally can't praise Jimin without someone DEMANDING that you extend that praise to the rest of BTS members/some particular BTS member. This is everywhere, even in supposedly neutral platforms. Here are some of the literal examples that I've seen thus far (you could PM me for the links to them; I redacted the names of the other members in this interaction so y'all won't be defensive LOL):

[Jimmy Fallon interview comments - a reenactment] A: Wow the Jimin-effect when bois everywhere are falling in love with you even Fallon has fallen in love B: Okay so member-X ALSO had this (even more major) gay moment with Celebrity-Y! A: Okay I didn't realise this was a competition C: (playing the good guy) okay see I think what B was trying to say is that ALL the BTS members equally make men gay for them :) [even though that's not remotely what B said] D: @C ;)

... and the tension is thus defused, the subject is changed, and everyone moves on but the problem remains.

Let me be clear. This is not the only interaction I've seen. I've seen it on multiple channels - on Youtube, on Twitter, on Weibo etc. I've seen it in English AND Chinese comments about BTS. And the funny thing is, while appreciating 2 different people CAN occur in the same vein - e.g. A says, Taemin is amazing! B replies, Minho is also amazing! That's fine on its own. But when you see this sort of behaviour consistently happen when someone praises Taemin, you start to realise that something is really off. And let me clarify - it's not only a problem with Taemin's anti fans. It's the problem with the Shawol fandom [I'm sorry Shawols y'all are v peaceful so I thought it'd be safe to use you as an example], who collectively turn a blind eye to this sort of behaviour, and just chalk it off as an unlikely coincidence, or just a joke, and ultimately no big deal.

Let me reiterate - this phenomenon has been happening for a while now. But the recent events have highlighted its prevalence because nothing's more clear than when the OT7 argument escalates into accusing Jimin-stans (or any person who defends/supports Jimin really) of being solo stans or anti-stans of member-so-and-so when they have the audacity to give Jimin credit. It's a problem that sporadically pops up, and I finally have the opportunity to say something about it. As others have mentioned, it's super convenient that other BTS members can be praised, but as soon as someone says something nice about Jimin, some random can pop up to accuse you of not sharing credit. And for some reason, all patience, understanding, and kindness can be extended when someone disparages, disputes, looks down on Jimin's talent, but the same generous people can become unflinchingly stingy when someone says something in his defense. We are never given the benefit of the doubt, but we are always expected to be the bigger person. It's frankly really fucking exhausting, and for those people who persist in defending Jimin against these senseless attacks everyday, I have no idea how you do it. Real kudos.

Here's the thing though, I have no idea if Jimin just has more anti-fans than the rest of the members, and ARMY is just not used to these tactics. I certainly don't want to believe in a fandom wide conspiracy to hate Jimin, nor do I believe that there is one. I simply hope that the rest of the fandom can open their eyes to this problem that we have currently. In particular, I hope that ARMY can understand how repugnant it is to build your bias up on the backs of other members, so if you see such behaviour from your area of the fandom, please take action - hold what they say to a proper standard, make them understand it's not alright, and report and block if necessary.  

[dib-adrift]

[ @dib-adrift @zimerstellar @son-of-an-invader @queen-of-lazuroth ]

“I thought I lost you,” Dib whispered. It still felt like a dream. Like at any moment he'd wake up and Zim wouldn't be here in his arms. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of the Irken's forehead. Pulling him just a little closer.

Zim hummed in approval at the affection. “Zim thought the same thing about you, my Dib.” He said softly, burying his face into the crook of the human's neck. He was careful not to get too clingy with his movements, not wanting to disturb the sutures along his abdomen.

“Apparently according to Midge impaling is just a thing that happens to Dibs,” Dib joked. He couldn’t help but nuzzle against Zim’s face. Of course he was feeling affectionate. He hadn’t seen his mate in so long. He thought he’d never see him again.

Dib left his forehead pressed against the top of Zim’s, his mind beginning to race for a moment. They needed to talk. About a lot of things. But mostly about…

As if the universe had heard his thoughts, Dek came into the room. The hybrid froze at the door, looking back and forth between Dib and Zim. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, um...I’ll come back later.”

Zim rose a brow at the hybrid, giving an inaudible huff. Did he really think he was being subtle? Was he even trying to be subtle? Seriously did any of them think they were fooling anyone?

Oh, yes. Zim knew all too well what was happening here. It hadn’t quite occurred to him until he was in the Med Bay with all them, before they truly began Dib’s surgery. The Midge-thing had literally flown clear across the galaxy, while pregnant (he’d heard someone mention it) so she could ensure that Dib was properly taken care of. Before that Dek had insisted on coming with him. And now he knew it was not just for his and Midge’s daughter.

“Not necessary, Captain,” Zim said, wiggling out of Dib’s hold. He leaned over and kissed the human’s nose. “I am sure my Dib would enjoy visiting with you. If you will excuse me, I actually wish to speak to the Midge-doctor.”

Dek looked a little shocked at Zim being so...agreeable, but he wasn’t about to test his luck. “You don’t have to leave. I know you two have...quite a bit of catching up to do.” He swallowed hard. Just before everything went to shit he and Midge had been discussing how they were going to talk to Dib about their...feelings. But now here was his Zim, the one he’d been missing and longing for. Dek couldn’t help but fear that maybe there hadn’t been something there after all. Maybe Dib had just been so lonely that...of course he clung to Midge and Dek.

“We do,” Zim replied. “And there will be plenty of time for that. Where is doctor-queen?”

Dek nodded, stepping more into the room. He took a seat in one of the empty chairs by the bed. “Okay. I won’t be long.”

“Zim did not give you a time limit,” Zim told Dek.

Dib rose a brow. Zim was...acting kind of weird. “You’re being very nice right now.”

“ZIM IS ALWAYS NICE!” Zim screeched.

“We are in a Med Bay, you absolute buffoon,” Dek growled.

“Your face is a buffoon!” Zim countered, though he significantly lowered his volume this time. “Now, the Midge! Where can I find her?”

“Last I saw her she was on one of the observation decks having a video call with the rest of Team Nebula,” Dek answered. “Do you need a map of the ship?”

“Zim needs no map! I am an expert navigator!”

“You literally got us lost on the way here-”

“Silence!”

Dib burst into laughter, only to wince immediately from the pain of his surgery sight. “You two can’t argue in here you’re going to kill me.”

“Zim forbids you to die, Dib-stink!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dib replied. He practically had heart-eyes.

Zim hummed before opening the door that went out into the hall. He hesitated for a merely a moment. “Dek,” he said quietly, without looking over his shoulder.

Dek rose a brow. “Hmm?”

Zim tapped his claws on the doorframe. He almost decided not say what was on his mind, perhaps substituting something snide or silly. But eventually he sighed. “Thank you.” And then he quickly fled the room.

Dib watched him go, still a little concerned about why Zim felt the need to leave. Midge had answered all of their questions earlier, so he wasn’t sure what he felt he needed to discuss with the doctor. He looked back at Dek, offering a sincere smile. He really was happy to see him. “I think he likes you. He’s hardly even that nice to me.”

Dek snorted. “If that were actually true I would have a lot of questions,” he said. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

“Dek. I’m fine. With you, Midge and Zim hovering over me, I don’t see how I could need anything.” He laughed nervously. “So, um. I hear that I’m your...I mean you’re my...I mean I hear we were supposed to be from the same universe?” Smooth, Dib. Good job.

“I hear the same,” Dek replied, a fond smile on his face. “Addie kind of explained it to me. When the multiverse went all haywire, Midge and I ended up pulled away from our own. Where...we were supposed to meet you. And Zim, actually.” He rested his cheek on top of his knuckles, his elbow on his knee. “It caused a timeline divergence, it seems.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty wild,” Dib said, looking up at the ceiling. “Did Agent tell you he can see through the fourth wall?”

“That he did,” Dek answered.

“Yeah. Apparently he...he looks up to me. And I don’t get it.”

Dek smiled at him. “You shouldn’t sell yourself so short. You and Addie pulled off something huge here.”

“Tch. It was mostly Addie,” Dib said proudly. “You got a hell of a kid there, Dek.”

“Trust me, I know. She’s a handful and a half. Every time I turn around it seems like she gets herself into some sort of trouble.” His smile became a proud grin. “It’s funny. She’s a goddamn Admiral and I still feel like I need to worry about her.”

“You’re her dad,” Dib said. “It’s what dad’s do. Hell I was worried about her the whole time. Couple times I almost snapped and beat Dwicky to a fucking pulp. But she handled herself like...so spectacularly.” He looked at Dek. “I...guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Considering who her parents are.”

Dek wished he could turn off emotions. At the compliment his entire face heated up. He looked away from Dib, finding something interesting about the floor all of a sudden. “Yes, erm. We’re...we’re very proud.

“Dek. Look at me?”

Dek tried to ignore the request, but it was impossible. It was this sweet, unsure tone that Dib used anytime he asked for something. Dek had quickly found that he couldn’t deny him anything when he spoke like that. Slowly he met Dib’s gaze. His face felt like it was on fire. Fuck my life.

Dib carefully moved over, trying to clear a spot beside him. “Come here,” he said, patting the new vacant spot.

Dek nearly choked on his own saliva, but he managed to stay composed as he got up from his seat and sat on the bed next to Dib. He tried to keep some sort of distance between them...but it seemed impossible. He then turned his head, meeting Dib’s gaze. He didn’t have his goggles on, so nothing was blocking his view of those gorgeous gold eyes.

He tore himself away. “Dib...I…”

“I...I know…” He said. Tentatively he reached over and pulled Dek’s hand into his own. Having an Irken mate for years made him an expert at lacing his five fingers with three. There was that buzzing, strong and warm and welcoming. “...Midge kissed me. Before I left. She...well she said I belonged with you. Both of you.”

Dek nearly groaned in embarrassment. Midge never was the subtle one. He tried to speak once but the words caught in his throat. He gave frustrated clicking and tried again. “I...we...this wasn’t something we expected, Dib,” he said. The buzzing from their hands being intertwined sent a tingling sensation up his arm and through his chest and stomach. It was almost overwhelming. “And...I want you to know that...we both feel...very strongly about you. But…” He couldn’t help but look back at the door, “we understand if…” 

He trailed off. He’d seen so many Dibs bonded to Zims, and he knew at the end of the day that they’d choose each other over anyone else in the universe. It was like a red thread had them tightly bound, always to find each other. Always to stay to together, in one way or another…

“Dek,” Dib said, giving his hand a comforting squeeze, “I...I want this. I do. I...I didn’t expect this either. When I lost Zim...I was pretty much content with being alone for the rest of my life. And then I...I found you two. And I…” He looked right into Dek’s eyes. “I don’t think I could ever let that go.”

“I’ll talk to Zim. It might...take a bit for him to get used to things but...I can’t imagine him trying to hold me back from something I want this badly.”

Dek held Dib’s gaze for just a moment. The temptation to close the distance between them was strong, but he knew at the moment it wasn’t appropriate. He needed to wait, make sure Zim truly would be okay with all this.

“Why don’t you move in with us,” he suddenly blurted. “Both of you, I mean. We have plenty of spare rooms, so the two of you could share one. If you want. No pressure.” How was it he could be a brilliant strategist but when it came to the ins and outs of courtship he absolutely failed?

Dib’s brow furrowed in thought. “I...think I would like that.”

Dek nodded. “I’ll shoot a message to Matsuri and make sure it gets prepped for the two of you.” He tried to get up but Dib tugged him back down with just a firm squeeze of his hand. “What?”

“Could you...stay here for a bit? I, uh...I kind of missed you.” His face turned a lovely shade of red when he blushed.

Dek settled back into his seat, giving a small chuckle. “Sure. I can stick around for a little longer.”

“Good,” Dib said, leaning his head on the hybrid shoulder.

Dek wasted no time placing his cheek on top of Dib’s head, burying his face in his thick, black hair. They sat like that for just a moment in silence, before Dek felt the need to speak. “I am...still so sorry about the whole...werewolf...smelling you thing.”

Dib laughed, the sound being punctuated by a soft hiss of pain. “It’s okay. Water under the bridge.”

It wasn’t long before he dozed off on Dek’s shoulder.

Even when the human began to snore a little, Dek didn’t leave.

000000

“MIDGE-GOON!”

Midge jumped at being addressed so loudly and harshly. She couldn’t remember anyone calling her such a thing. She turned from the view of the large, purple nebula in front of her and looked over her shoulder. “Um...yes?”

Zim marched over to her. “Zim wishes to have an audience with you!” he said, looking the Lazurothian up and down. He could see what Dib saw in Dek. Tall, commanding, powerful. A few more inches and he could have overthrown Red and Purple, but from the short time Zim had known the hybrid, he was pretty sure that wasn’t something the Captain desired.

Midge, however, he could not figure out. He supposed she was sort of pretty, and her eyes were a mildly appealing shade of blue and that her freckles were rather intriguing but besides that she was SHORT! And SNOWY!

“Well here I am,” Midge said with a shrug. She offered him a sweet smile. “How can I help.”

Alright, perhaps that smile and friendly attitude were rather endearing but STILL. “I have but one question for you,” he said, getting close enough so he could loom over her a bit. Yes, height advantage. Brilliant. “And take note that Zim will know when you’re lying.”

Midge didn’t make any move to step away. At this point she was so used to Zims being in her face that now it was just a typical part of her day. Though it was rare she encountered one that actually gave off such a...powerful presence. Even that Emperor came off as an evil bratty child to her. “Alright. What would you like to know?”

Zim leaned in closer. Almost uncomfortably close. “Are you in love with my Dib?”

Midge squeaked at question. “I...well...that’s….”

“I TOLD YOU I WOULD KNOW IF YOU WERE LYING! DO NOT LIE TO ZIM!”

“Okay, okay, geez!” She sighed, reaching up to fiddle with her Orok. “...Yes.” Her gaze shot up to meet Zim’s. “But...I don’t...I...he belongs with you-”

“Oh, stop rambling, Midge-thing.” Zim told her, his hands going to his hips. Midge’s couldn’t help but be drawn to the gesture. He had very nice hips. “This sort of thing is pretty common on my Irk. And I hear it is extremely common here, especially in your family, yes?”

Midge opened and closed her mouth several times, a little shocked about this sort of reaction. Finally she gave up on trying to speak and just nodded.

“Are you aware he feels the same about the two of you?”

Midge blushed furiously. “I...um…”

“Zim will take that as a no,” he said, a bit of exasperation leaking into his tone. There was no way these two were this dense. Dib had said they had many offspring.

Midge huffed a little. She didn’t feel like she could really be blamed for this. Not only had she and Dek not expected to both have feelings for another person - let alone the same person - but...it really felt like Zim was simplifying the situation a little. “You’re...taking this very well.”

“As I said, this sort of thing is not unheard of on where I’m from. Also...Zim only wishes for Dib to be happy. And...when he talks about the two of you...his whole being seems to light up.” He did his best to hide the affectionate smile on his face. It made him feel all squishy inside when Dib was happy.

Midge reached out and took his hand loosely, giving Zim ample opportunity to pull away. The buzzing felt the same with him as it did with Dib. And yet it still made her hearts jump. “He does that when he talks about you, too,” she told him. “You’d think you’d hung the moon.”

“That is because I did,” Zim said proudly. He did not pull his hand away. The buzzing was weird but also...pleasant.

Midge snorted. “No you didn’t.”

“You cannot prove I didn’t, Midge-doc. Therefore you have no argument.”

“That is not how arguments work.”

“This argument will work how Zim sees fit,” he grumbled, using his free hand to poke Midge’s nose.

Midge squeaked again at being poked, before bursting into giggles, her nose wrinkling. She looked at Zim for a long time, a strange aching in her chest. Then, without another word, she shot forward and embraced him. “I’m glad you’re back,” Midge told him quietly. “He’s missed you so much. He needs you.”

Zim froze at being hugged so suddenly, but he didn’t attempt to push Midge away. Instead he gently, and awkwardly patted her head for a moment, before it calmed into a more natural pet. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “He needs the two of you as well,” he replied. “So I am glad he found you.”

Midge beamed, burying her face in Zim’s chest.

It wouldn’t be easy. Everything would be new and terrifying and everyone would have to take time to adjust to the new arrangements. But deep down, all of them knew it would be worth it in the end.

[theemichelleb]

Game of Thrones Series Final Season - Season Review

Game of Thrones is such an epic dynasty that I had to really sit and think about how I wanted to review the end of this era. I got involved in Game of Thrones late in the game, but have been hooked on it ever since my first watch in early 2017, courtesy of my bestie, Grets. The series is absolutely phenomenal thanks to the book series author, George R. R. Martin, but of course he hasn’t finished the books because he’s still working on his greatness and the TV series is closing out but it’s okay.

Although, there aren’t really any black characters displayed in this epicness of medieval trials and tribulations, I must say I’m okay with our people not being caught up in the nonsense that actually occurs in the series, and the two blacks that are represented are D.O.P.E. as heck and about their business, no question. It’s funny watching white people be white towards themselves, however.

I’ve decided the best way to review this final season is to give a snippet into my thought for each episode and close it out with my final remarks on the overall series and how the wonderful production team executed closing out this phenomenal series.

Episode 1

The first minute of the episode was truly a tribute to season 1 episode 1 all the way down to recreating Arya’s fascination with the royal family coming to Winterfell from season 1 while showing how much she’s grown 7 seasons later. I love a great reference back to the beginning of something amazing. Especially with Danny and Jon entering winter fell to lead us through the final battles in the Game of Thrones reminding us of how the game started in season 1 with Cersei and Jaime entering Winterfell. It really feels like all roads lead to Winterfell, right? This was such a great parallel because Cersei loved to justify her disgusting relationship with her brother by arguing that’s how the Targaryens kept their bloodlines pure and now we have 2 Targaryens that don’t even know they’re related in love and in a relationship. Nasty… but I can forgive Danny and Jon in hopes that they do better when they finally learn they’re aunt and nephew.

There were also a lot of reunions that I have long waited for and honestly was not sure if we were ever going to get to see; Tyrion and Sansa, Arya and Jon, Arya and Gendry, and our favorite, Bran and Jaime. My favorite part of the reunions is that none of these characters know each other or the things they’ve been through the way we know them and they’re growth. The underdogs have truly made an impact on the plot of the show moving forward and bringing us to a place very close to success and winning the iron throne.

My favorite underdog is Sansa. I know so many people that dislike her for the choices she made, but truth be told she fought for her life the only way she knew how. Yes, she made some selfish choices but when I look at the position she was placed in she really made smart choices for herself and look at where it’s brought her. People always want to degrade women for choosing themselves but men do it all the time, so, I don’t get the scrutiny. Plus she’s been around enough crazies to see Danny is one and I’m intrigued by the fact that she’s not so quick to bend to Danny. Don’t get me wrong I love Danny but she’s not adjusting well to the North and these aren’t the slaves she’s been saving for 7 seasons. I feel like she’s going to struggle to get her throne because she won’t be able to adjust and that’s what Sansa senses.

Episode 2

This episode was kinda slow to me. Based on the arrival of the Night King’s army at the end I see it’s meant to serve as the quiet before the storm. Although it didn’t really give me much, it did have a few notable moments that bring it’s watchers into the intensity of the war against the dead that is no longer coming and is finally here.

I wasn’t impressed with the reunion of Bran and Jaime; not that I had an idea of what I thought it would look like but I expected something. I guess that just ties to the “mystery” that Bran is as the Three-Eyed Raven. Danny is really on something this season and I can’t figure out what it is. I understand her conflicted stance on allowing Jaime to live, but even with her interaction as she tries to address the issue Sansa has with her. I think her desire to be accepted as Queen of the 7 kingdoms has in a way shifted to being accepted by Sansa; is it because Jon is her brother? Who knows, but it’s annoying and I need Danny to gather herself. It’s honestly coming off as jealousy. I saw it when Theon showed up to join the fight against the dead and asked Sansa if he could fight for her. Danny was HURT; it was written all over her face, LOL. I wonder if this is eluding to anything with Sansa always wanting to be queen… could she be a contender for the throne because of the love her people have for her? Or maybe she will just be the key to the North breaking free from the 7 kingdoms and becoming it’s own kingdom.

The battle against the dead brings us scenarios I always anticipated but never believed I would be able to witness. The circle of once Stark enemies turned allies is a huge scene for me; from Tormund’s entertaining but creepy fascination with Brienne to Jaime’s knighting of Brienne; I was truly intrigued with the circle of characters, that truly wanted to see the demise of the Stark’s, come together under the Stark’s lead to save the world from the walking dead. All roads really do lead back to Winterfell. And Arya grew the heck up! Wow… just wow. I always had my suspicions of her and Gendry getting together but I didn’t know she would go from badass to siren all in one episode. It makes sense though, our beloved characters are going into the fight of their lives and because nobody’s life is safe anybody could die; even Arya. This was probably one of my favorite connections out of the series after Greyworm and Missandei, of course, who also took my heart for a loop when he asked her to runaway with him after all of the battles are over; great moment of foreshadowing.

And of course this episode had to end with Danny finding out she’s not the only contender for the throne. Although, Jon doesn’t want it, she’s terrified! It all makes sense to her which is why she tries to deflect and claim Jon being a Targaryen is a made up story… please ma’am, who would lie about being a part of your crazy bloodline?

Episode 3

The Long Night is FINALLY here and I am here for this entire battle. Danny goes off hinged yet again, doesn’t want to follow anybody’s plan, and further annoying me with her antics. I mean, I understand the Dothraki were pretty much eliminated as a people but who did she think she was going to help in this war if she died?

But this battle! The Night King was that dude. No, we never find out what he wants but lets be real, he was created by the Children of the Forrest to take out the human race, they didn’t really give him much purpose other than to bring death to humans; which, I think he did successfully throughout the entire series, just taking out these folk that were expecting him to still be in hibernation. There were so many different aspects of this episode to follow which gave it a depth that I think it needed since it was basically a hour and a half of people dying left and right, then being brought back to life because, you know, the Night King raises zombies in this medieval time.

Which brings me to my biggest question… if we know this man can raise the dead, why were all of the helpless women, children, and men in the crypt? The place filled with dead Stark’s. A tomb. Literally a cemetery.

Whatever… the highlight of the hour goes to ARYA STARK. Always knew she was destined for greatness. My girl had sex and did her thing, LOL. There were so many ways this could have gone left, honestly, I wouldn’t have been sad if they let the Night King win, but when Arya came through with her faceless man skills I was so proud and knew my baby was all growed up. Arya has been D.O.P.E. since she was little, and I’m so happy they have given her the path that she’s been placed on and ecstatic that the victory for saving human kind did not go to Jon Snow. I’m just confused how the long night lasted a hour and a half but we still haven’t faced Cersei yet. So Cersei is a larger battle to fight than the Night King? Hmmmmm…. not sold on that one, but I guess we’ll see when Danny makes her way to King’s Landing.

Episode 4

Now, I’ve dealt with a lot of dryness and things that did not make sense, but this nonsense of Euron taking down the ships and kidnapping Missandei has got to be the DUMBEST PLOT DECISION EVER. I'm annoyed with this entire season at this point.

I understand sending Danny into her character arc to show how she’s turned into her father, the mad king, but seriously? This season has just torn poor little Danny apart and turned her into this inconsistent, under developed tyrant with no sense. I know it’s going to get worse… from her declaration making Gendry Lord of Storm’s End to her attempt to convince Jon they can be together even though they’re aunt and nephew, she’s just too obsessed with a throne she’s never seen for me.

I can’t lie, when Jon told Sansa and Arya he needed them to promise to keep quiet if he told, I was sitting in my chair like “Sansa, just say you promise and break it.” Sansa has never made me more proud than the moment she stopped battling herself and chose to tell Tyrion who Jon really is.

The attacks on Danny are really stacking up and feel too rushed for what we’ve known GoT to pace us with. She buries Jorah, Jon denies her love, Rhaegal is shot out of the sky just as she thinks he’s healing after the battle, and then Missandei dies…. all in one episode?! Who the heck thought this was a good idea instead of just extending the season with more episodes?? I waited TWO YEARS for this mess! Guess we’ll see what other nonsense they can come up with in the last two episodes.

Episode 5

Of course we knew this was going to be bad… but this?? This was so extreme and out of character.

I commend Varys for his attempts to protect the people in the realm, but truthfully there wasn’t enough time to explore what Varys could have done to stop Danny… again blown at how rushed this Season has been and rather disappointed with the outcomes. Fast forward to the real issue of this episode… Daenarys Tarygaryen destroys Kings Landing after they surrender. She is no longer Danny after that foolishness. I personally think they waited too late in the game to change who she is and turn her into the present version of her father. Not saying that she was ever a great leader, because let’s face it she just walked around freeing slaves with no plan on how to care for them, but she NEVER would have taken innocent lives where unneeded. The Danny we’ve grown to know as the breaker of chains would have seen the people on their grown running fearful for their lives unprotected by their Queen, given them mercy, and burned Cersei, Qyburn, Ser Gregor, and whoever in the King’s Guard that wanted to stand by her once the city was conquered. But I digress…

This episode wasn’t even a fight! The long night was placed before this whhhyyyyy? Cersei stood in her castle and watched her people burn for her idiocy and then dies under some rubble in the arms of the man she loves whom also happens to be her twin brother?! This is how she dies after I’ve waited 8 seasons to watch Danny burn her alive… this is all Tyrion’s fault. Had he not let Jaime go I at least would have gotten to see Cersei’s crazy behind die the death she deserved just like Joffrey got what was coming for him in Season 4.

I have so many questions that I understand the concepts behind, because of my film background, but the execution was just poor and I wish they would have made an executive decision to extend the season to at least 10 episodes, maybe even throw in one more season to close everything out better than this bullshicocky. Now, I just want to know what else there is? What, Jon and Danny are going to fight for the thrown now or she’s going to burn him alive for telling his secret after she forbid him not to? This is a bunch of anti-climactic aggravation.

Episode 6

Bran the Broken? That’s how we’re saving the 6, not 7, kingdoms? Maybe I’m missing something… don’t get me wrong, cool Bran is the three-eyed raven, but my dude says nothing the entire last few seasons other than, “I am not Bran,” and “I don’t want to be Lord of Winterfell.” But he wants to be King of the Realm??

I’m glad Danny finally got taken out of the equation because she honestly deserved to die for the foul mistakes the writers made in her character arc… it was truly disrespectful to her as a person and she deserved to be let out of the nonsense her character has become. Whether I believed she would be a good Queen or not she didn’t deserve to go mad like her father did so abruptly without the dedication and development that it should have taken. I would have even been okay if she still went crazy, just not in 3 episodes. Of course Jon had to be the one to kill her, however, was his purpose to take her out and then return to the nights watch then go beyond the wall with the free folk?

The ONLY character arc I was satisfied with was Sansa. My girl Sansa showed up and showed out. As I said, a lot of people I know were disgusted by her, but honestly survival was what she had to go through and she made a comment to the Hound after the Night King died that solidified everything she did for me. She could have left King’s Landing with The Hound and been saved from Joffrey’s torture, marrying Tyrion, Ramsey raping her, and Littlefinger pimping her out, but if she didn’t go through all of those things she would have remained an ignorant “little bird” all her life. If that was the case I definitely wouldn’t have stuck behind her the way I did. She always wanted to be Queen, and she finally got it with making The North it’s own Kingdom, which it has always deserved to be. And let’s just throw in that Sansa’s coronation outfit was BAD! Okkurrr.

Although, the story line, plot, and character development was trash closing out this amazing story of stories, the graphics and imagery were EVERYTHING. My favorite scenes were with Drogon; him buried in the ash when Jon is entering the tower prepared to kill Danny, and right after Jon becomes the Queen Slayer and Drogon pops up destroying the Iron Throne when he can’t wake his mother. I can say the crew did their thing with location scouting and taking their time to give us the best visuals because the rest of the package was trash.

Overall

I want to say I’m happy, but… yea. I’m sure we’ll get some type of Spin-off for Arya or maybe even Sansa, there were so many loose ends left at the end anybody could get a spin-off, LOL. Thank you for the attempt, but I think maybe this team of writers should stick to adaptations and not try to complete a story that they didn’t start; didn’t seem to be their strong suit.

Film making is hard and I commend them fall all of their efforts, but I was less than impressed given the foundation that was laid for this to be a D.O.P.E. production. Oh well, maybe we’ll get a revamped version in about 20 years after the books are finished and somebody picks up the idea to try again.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 5: Thoughts on The 100 2x03 Reapercussions

I am very tired and I should sleep but instead I’m going to bring my The 100 rewatch project out of hiatus yet again with Episode 2x03: Reapercussions.

I miss Anya so much!!!!! This is mostly my Dichen Lachman obsession showing but also the way she gives Clarke that ‘yeah, whatever’ look when Clarke says she’ll get her out of the cage... your Grounder fave could never.

The show honestly peaked with S2 and after this it should have abandoned all attempts at edginess because nothing will ever be more Pure Nightmare Fuel than the Mount Weather Grounder Cages.

Clarke/Anya: the ship that almost was.

So when Clarke takes Anya out of the prison room, she opens a door that says “End Containment Area” and underneath that it says “U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Mount Weather Containment Protocol.” And people really thought JRoth made this up omg learn some history.

Considering how they left things (Anya literally trying to kill her and all her friends) it’s actually pretty impressively selfless and magnanimous on Clarke’s part to not just rescue her, but immediately and unthinkably rescue her. On the other hand, Anya feels some remorse for leaving her people whereas Clarke’s like ‘here are some clothes [even though those random bandages are holding up pretty well??], let’s get a move on!’ (I know she intended to come back for them and she was being smart and practical but from the pov of, say, Jasper or Monty, this is cold as hell of her.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: early S2 Clarke is Peak Clarke: smart, sly, practical, brave.

Byrne mentions Earth Skills teacher “Davis” as being part of the search team for Bell et. al. My question: how many Earth Skills teachers did they have lol?

I fucking love this crashed-ship aesthetic omg I forget how much I love it and then I see it again....

“On the Ark, you did anything you wanted, without a second thought about the consequences.” Like mother, like daughter.

I ALSO miss Jasper and Maya. I’m probably like the lone person out there who still remembers them fondly but they were basically perfect because they were sweet but with the potential for a lot of darkness as well, my favorite combination.

WHERE’S MY ART SCHOOL JAYA AU?

So actually fun fact, that isn’t how the art work would have been stored in Mount Weather. They had special containers for the paintings to protect them and like a special cart thing to transport them quickly from their old homes to the bunker I read a book.

No one ever characterizes him this way sufficiently imo but Monty is really quite uptight in a way. Like first: don’t cockblock him man. And second: just chilll. This is probably why he used to smoke weed.

“Trouble? It’s Clarke. Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she can handle it.” I mean.... he’s not wrong.

Except for the part where she’s covered in dead bodies. But even then...

So I always felt like the main point of the Reapers was as kind of a zombie police force for Mount Weather: to keep the Grounders scared of the Mountain, so they won’t poke around in it too much. Though of course they also collect Grounders, which is helpful, since the Mountain Men can’t walk that far from their home base (and, as stated, they probably want to keep most of that area Grounder-free anyway). But it occurs to me now that a third use of the Reapers is like dead-body collectors? The Mountain dumps the dead bodies out the trap door, and the Reapers take them away and eat them. So gross and efficient all at once. Mount Weather’s motto basically.

Murphy and his creating-a-distraction stones are still one of the funniest jokes this show has ever pulled, though if it were a quicker reveal after “something like that” it would be funnier.

Never mind, Bellamy appearing out of the bush is true underrated comedy gold,

That said, I feel like everything outside of the Mount Weather and Clarke stories here is filler.

Love! That! Ship!

Major Byrne says that Kane is on the verge of losing control of the camp but... I dunno.... everyone seems to be working together pretty well? Maybe if they had diversified the cast a little, not in terms of yet more Grounders but, like, non-leaders of the Ark, that would be more clear????

Okay, well, admittedly, when the Grounder prisoner is brought in they do start a mini-mob, lol. Also one of the delinquent’s fathers is shot, it would be cool if we knew who he was?? ETA: and then he dies and Abby’s like “does he have any family?” lol he just said that his son was one of the 100 so like obviously he does??

The costuming people, like the set people, really are the geniuses of this show. I love Clarke and Anya’s outfits, and Clarke’s hair somehow being both grungy and beautiful like THAT’s the apocalypse style I wanna see.

Also they absolutely 100% would have gotten together in the S2-S3 hiatus if Anya hadn’t been killed off.

“You saved my life because you needed me” IS true but she also did it absolutely without hesitation, even knowing Anya really quite truly hates her, so this speaks either to some foolhardy bravery mixed in with her practical thoughts, or just straight compassion, or both. I guess that sort of is a Clarke thing. She can be a grudge holder (seriously don’t tell me she isn’t: Wells????) but her grudges are NEVER more important than hard-nosed practical problem-solving.

Time for some gratuitous torture. Honestly, I like Season 2, it’s probably my favorite season, but it has some MAJOR filler problems. Like when it’s good it’s THE BEST but then other times it just doesn’t know how to fill 40 minutes so it resorts to pointless diversions (like Bellamy rappelling down the side of a mountain to save a character who is literally never seen again? for some reason?) or just straight out ugly violence for screaming’s sake (Raven’s surgery, Raven’s Grounder torture, Abby’s shocklashing, etc.) Like honestly I can’t even watch this. I’m just gonna browse tumblr until it’s done.

The Arkers really like the concept of “confessing” don’t they?

Like okay I’m not done WHAT IS THE POINT of this? It all but kills the whole Kabby vibe (I still lowkey ship them but sometimes I think...why?), it’s truly painful to watch, and it has no plot purpose AT ALL not even world-building because, lol, we know the writers don’t care to flesh out Camp Jaha in any real way.

Murphy is taking such sad glee out of instigating Finn’s madness/violence. The Luci of The 100 for sure.

This Bellamy story line is boring though I’m sorry. Some of these scenes (the Clarke or Mount Weather ones) I could watch a million times but this is like... kay, I know what happens already. So.

“There are some lines you can’t uncross.” I mean I think this show has actually shown that’s pretty untrue since people get over almost everything pretty fast. There’s always another horrific thing to do and/or experience!

Yeah my bitterness is seeping in.

Anyway when you come into an interrogation knowing what the “right” answer is, you’ll never learn anything, take note, stupid teenager boys + U.S. law enforcement.

Like honestly this Grounder is 500000x smarter than they are. He saves himself and rains gunfire and destruction upon his enemies. (Well, saves himself for a few minutes--but at least he got to cause harm to those he hates!)

“You thought I was the crazy one, huh?” Was Murphy ever crazy, though, or was he just coldly vengeful?

Speaking of coldly vengeful, Byrne could have been a potentially interesting character? Maybe? I’m not really into the type but as I said I want more Arkers wherever I can find them. And Kane needs real opposition. I have sympathy for him to a degree, but I also think he ultimately weakens rather than strengthens himself.

I love when Monty calls bullshit on stuff. “I can’t see Clarke? Try and fucking stop me, bitches.”

Jasper has such a big heart. Truly the emotional core of this friendship.

I like how Kane speaks as if his “diplomatic mission” of adults is so vastly different than Bellamy and Finn just going off on their own I mean, Byrne is little better than Finn? They’re both easily frustrated and fond of torture? It’s just that Byrne understands a chain of command--barely--that’s literally it.

How does it make literally any sense at all to shocklash a person one hour and make her the Chancellor the next? Like you’ve just encouraged the populace to think of her as nothing special, not above the embarrassing public application of extreme pain--but yes by all means expect them to fall into line behind her leadership. I mean I guess this sort of works if she was already somehow beloved (I guess I’m supposed to just believe that?) and now more sympathy has been generated for her--but such sympathy would seem to come at the expense of Kane. It would seem to be the opposite of what he, or really Byrne, was going for with that disgusting display. But whatever memory is a fiction I guess.

And they have this swelling-music romantic eye-fuck goodbye like??? He was just beating you!! JUST NOW!

What I’m getting out of Murphy advocating for killing the Grounder: first, he has a clear, cold, practicality not unlike Clarke, and two, he still thinks of the delinquents as his friends--how sweet. Two days ago he was killing them, holding them hostage, and stealing their ammo before a huge battle but still. Bygones.

This is not a great ep. for Bellamy leadership lol.

Finn executes a man, while wearing Clarke’s watch, in the place they had sex. Seems...symbolic?? IDK it’s late lol.

I miss Nyko a lot but also now that I’ve seen (part of) Slasher I’m not entirely sure I can ever see Ty Olsson in the same light.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they were literal brothers? Because I always assumed this was metaphorical but...was it? WAS IT?

Weird note to end on, I know. If patterns hold, it’ll be another 2-3 months before I do this again but I’ll try to be a little more on the ball about it.

[scorpio-karma]

Unnecessary Drama TVD 2x17 Review

I guess this could be the title of the show, but feel this is especially true with this episode because right from the jump things are dramatic and I don't understand why starting with Jenna.  

Okay so since I haven’t been watching this consistently so I might have missed some context clues but rage and betrayal???? Rage and betrayal about what Jenna? Like, I understand being mad that they kept it from her but other than that am I missing something for this dramatic reaction to Isobel just saying hi. Have they been lying about something she knows about now to build up to this point, but even if so I don’t understand this dramatic reaction. Fundamentally I know why she’s being like this, the writers needed an excuse to send Jenna away. However with in the context of the plot it makes absolutely no sense and makes her seem childish in ways she’s not supposed to.   

And Elena, I guess I should be proud since she's never seemed more like a teenager than now, but blaming John for this. What even logic? Does she remember the argument she had a few episodes ago with Stefan about getting Isobel and they ended up with John TO GET TO ISOBEL. Looks like you're boyfriend's plan worked. Now I'm not advocating that she be mad at Stefan but you want to be irrationally mad why not direct it at the right person. All John has done since getting to town is protect his daughter which frustrated me whenever she'd tell him "not after everything you've done" WHAT HAS HE DONE? Someone sincerely answer that question because I'm drawing a blank. It's crap like this that fuels the mentality this fandom has of "you're mean to my favorite character so your a bad person" because if Elena, the character the writers are so keen on me caring about, does this why would the fandom be better. So he tried to kill Stefan and Damon, his logic of protecting Elena still stands since they haven’t really done anything worthy of “I’m different” in terms of vampires. 

Also, you know the more I rewatch this the more and more sympathetic I am towards John, and he seems more and more sincere. While I didn’t hate him in my first watch I was always suspicious of him and that’s because the characters of the show build this suspicion around him. Now knowing his endgame as a character I don’t buy into this suspicion anymore because he has always been honest and sincere about his motives as character and they never involve harming other people. He spent his who existence on making sure his daughter had a good life, he wasn’t about to let two vampires she “loved” ruin that. Granted not all teenagers are clueless and not all adults are always right, but in this instance teenage girl is clueless and needs to listen to the actual adults. 

I've never really realized how little I care about Alaric and Jenna as a couple until episodes like these. He really never seems like he cares about her that much until he's about to lose her which is a red flag in my book. And I guess that makes sense since there was really nothing to hold the ship together, it was just "you're attractive" and "you're attractive" and nothing went beyond that. They never had a deep connection and it shows in moments like these where he doesn't care about her unless he's about to lose her. 

Ford product placement. I know I sound like the CinemaSins guy but they are really not subtle about this. It doesn't actually surprise me much since when I used to watch it weekly back in the day I remember them doing this often especially with songs but it was always with the car. Before it was Bonnie's Prius other than that I don't remember what the car was I just remember "hey this is a great song" and then the network notified you what the song was playing. Product Placement! With this episode in particular it really bothered me with how they shot it because it pans to the rear of the car, shows the license plate, then like shows her in the car, and they make it seem really eerie like she's about to get run into, or someone is watching her but neither are happening it's just Ford product placement. It was like, thank you for this unnecessary scene and this unnecessary shot to please your sponsors.  

For all of Carol Lockwood's failings I'll give her this: she notices when her kid is it's missing which is more than I can say for most of the adult characters here. Did Jenna really even notice when they sent Jeremy away? I don't recall the Sheriff being all that interested in where Caroline was for those days she was with Damon? I guess she wasn't gone because they hid out at her place but seriously how didn't she notice anything going on with her daughter then? And Jenna literally ups and leaves when she feels like it.  It's what made her death actually sad—her love for her son which I'm glad for since TVD does such a bad job with familial bonds, but she is the only character besides John to seem like an actual parent. 

I still don't understand why Jeremy is there. Like I always knew he was third wheeling it on their plans every time I guess it was nice it was always about Bonnie but other than that I was like, dude you have no function, what are you doing here? I mean I guess Damon doesn't really need to be there, actually no, scratch that, he was needed to find the place and then after that he leaves which is what Jeremy should have of done.  

Which idiot hid the moonstone? I bet it was Damon, but I don't understand why he has it when Lucy gave it to Bonnie. Like I said I haven't been watching consistent enough, the episode this occurs I watched over a year ago but I don't remember Bonnie giving Damon or any Salvatore the moonstone. And can we talk about how lame the name is "moonstone" it gets more and more ridiculous the more everyone says it. It sounds like something written by a child. But serious I get he was going for “in plain sight” but the bathroom which is frequented by many people including one you let in who you don’t trust. Y’all shoulda left that with Bonnie who could at least seal it in a place with magic.   

Why are Bonnie and the Bennett’s the only one to be put through pain, like they're the only ones to have horrific deaths, and even worse, why do her ancestors insist on putting her through more pain?  

I thought it couldn't get more cringe worthy than when Damon was essentially reciting his lines earlier about trying to save Emily, but dear lord Matt. He doe not do anger well, he looks like someone told him, now, be mad, and gave the director the best he could muster up which isn't great. But he did better with the deception, even though I knew where it was going I doubted myself for a moment and thought maybe he was sincere. And his conversation about Caroiline with her mother saying “I think she died” while was actually very touching also just reminded me of the many times Bonnie died and it’s never confronted but Caroline, who I’ve noted on many occasions is barely relevant to the plot, has this confronted multiple times and she only died once. Just saying--this blatant favoritism toward Caroline that tends to always result in Bonnie being treated less than human gets on my nerves so much I can’t even enjoy what would otherwise be a great scene.    

I've seen a weird amount of hate for Isobel which I find weird. Not because she's a good character or anything, but because of how much of a blimp she is on anyone's radar. Even her actions compared to the others are so small. There could have been a nuance to her character and to a degree it's there because her motives were clearly protect Elena, but beyond that she was always kind of lackluster. Also added with Nina’s acting, or lack there of, when she dies in front of her just makes me even more confused as to why anyone cared enough to hate her. Even when Elena is saying she’s sad I can barely believe it because well Nina doesn’t sound sad when she’s saying those line, she just sounds like she always does which is why always found it hard to empathize with her in the beginning of the show. The only reason I knew she was sad about her parent death was because she said it, there was nothing that really emoted this feeling. If she can barely muster up feelings of grief how am I supposed to even sympathize about it. That just distanced me from feeling like they were real people that were in her life, and just made them random fictional characters to add a tragic backstory. It’s really no wonder why I never really cared about Elena from the start.

"If you use to much power you die," how doesn't anyone else already know this? That's literally what killed her Grams which brings me to Bonnie, she always knew this, saw it happen, but why is she so keen repeating history. If she truly believes her powers are meant for more then she should probably know that they were meant for more than saving Elena’s life. But of course this is The Elena Diaries so that’s never going to happen. Instead we’re going to have Bonnie’s mother risk her life and leave her daughter all to protect Elena, because that makes a lick of sense. 

Bonnie their secret weapon, nothing has ever been more cringe worthy. Seriously watching Damon and Stefan discuss Bonnie like she’s an object they possess has never sat well with me. This is again one of those moments where I can’t get on board with Stefan as a character because he isn’t better, he’s just better than Damon and in this moment he’s proving to be the exact same as Damon if not worse because he’s the first to note this--he was the one to look back at the situation and point her out as their object leading the conversation there.

Klaus in Alaric’s body, you know I always felt he did possession bad especially in season 3, he just seemed like a creep and not in the way he was supposed to, but here he did an exceptional job. I almost wish Joseph Morgan had taken more cues from his portrayal because he managed to get the “ancient being” in his voice and mannerisms better. It’s like with JM they just told him “be British and use Shakespearean English” and called it a day. I’m not saying I didn’t like JM version of Klaus, but it’s clear where they started going wrong with this character. With the way Alaric is portraying him he is the most intimidating he’s ever been and that’s because everything built around him is actually living up to the hype. The show later just paints him as a whiny man with daddy issues and no real goals because trust me his plans get ridiculous after that and they dropped pretty much everything about Klaus from season 2. I probably would have enjoyed Klaus more if he had stayed this version, or at the very least did something worth while because I think we can all agree that the hybrid subplot was just a complete mess and pretty much marks when Plec took over as show runner because she has never been able to see the full picture. She just writes as she goes and hopes they connect at some point. psss, they never do.

Overall the episode was frustrating, but every episode is which is why I have to have at least two drinks before watching. Which I honestly don’t know why I do. I got drunk for the finale and that didn’t make anything seem even the slightest bet better, so why would it now. However in my defense, the finale is a complete incomprehensible mess so nothing was going to make it better in the first place.

[fallout4holmes]

Far Harbor 8

We couldn't put off Dima’s plan any longer. Along the way we checked on the status of the Last Plank bartender's uncle, still living out on the island in the Fog thanks to some condensers, and we promised an enterprising young girl called Bertha to clear the old lumber mill of ferals for future settlers. A sole remaining trapper had claimed the mill as his own, but Bertha’s friends should have no trouble chasing him off.

We found Confessor Martin’s private… hermitage, I suppose. According to the tapes we found, Martin truly did have an amicable relationship with the strange synth that had welcomed them to their new home. He blamed himself for not realizing how bad Far Harbor’s hostility had become, and then blamed Dima when his own people turned against him because of Dima’s refusal to help drive the Harbormen off the island. Martin demanded Dima leave the Nucleus, and then when Tektus took over with his calls for blood, Martin retreated into seclusion. A few written notes revealed he was visited by Sister Gwyneth, early in her doubts. He started to believe she was right, and never regained his faith, quietly disappearing.

We returned to Acadia, our prize in hand. Dima was alone in his observatory. It was a… tense, moment. Neither brother was exactly certain how to interact with the other.

“You’ve returned,” Dima said, with some small surprise.

“We said we would. Will these suffice?” I handed him the tapes.

“Yes, these look like they’ll serve. Let me listen…” he smiled softly to himself, “It’s good to hear his voice aga- ah. Some… grim material to work with.” After a few moments, he had copied excerpts onto a new tape. “I take no pleasure from twisting the words of an old friend, but I believe Martin would understand. This tape should pique the interest of the High Confessor, but Tektus is nothing if not wary.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve set a trap,” I took the new tape. “How are preparations coming along for a replacement?”

“The initial stages have gone well. He should be ready in time.” Dima hesitated, but asked, “You said something when we last spoke, when you agreed to this plan. My mind keeps coming back to it… ‘In some corner of Hell, he’s laughing at me.’ May I ask…”

“The Director of the Institute.”

Dima was stunned, “I don’t understand.”

“The Institute used whatever means to their end, no matter the cost, the collateral damage caused. There were no questions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ only ‘necessary.’ Unfortunately, the wrong of destroying a person often leads to the right of saving many.”

“… and the wrong of letting a person live who shouldn’t?”

“We’re going to find out, aren’t we?” 

He winced. “So the Director is dead. And the Institute?”

“Destroyed.”

“Then it’s over?” Relief and hope filled him, “No more Courser hunts? No more slavery? Oh, but…” as suddenly as it seemed to come, the hope faded to something sadder. “But that also means the technology to make the synths is lost. Our origins have been buried. Not to mention, the loss of human life…” He glanced at us both with some chagrin, “I know that must sound disingenuous given my actions, but -”

“I sounded an evacuation before it was destroyed,” I said. “Everyone had a chance to get out. Not all of them did. It’s a truth I have to live with, that I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”

Dima glanced at Valentine, “Nor should anyone.” He sighed, “I’m sorry if I sounded as though I was judging you. You’ve wiped out a great evil in the world, and knowing the Institute is gone will bring peace of mind to many of my people. I’m grateful.”

We were invited to stay the night before going to the Nucleus in the morning. I think he hoped to have a chance to speak to Valentine, and so I resolved to be close by and listen in, just in case. My partner wasn't going to make it easy on him. And yet, for all his doubts, Valentine still wants to know his brother, this piece of family he never knew he might have had.

So it was with some false flippancy later that he answered a simple, “How have you been, Nick?” with “Haven't woken up discovering any new missing parts in a while, so I call that a win.”

Dima smiled. “I stopped counting the number of repairs I had decades ago. I have bad actuators, frayed wires…”

Whether innate sibling rivalry, or simple relief at a safe topic, Valentine continued the list, “Rusty joints, patched power couplings, and don't even get my secretary started whenever I tell her I literally have a screw loose.”

Dima chuckled, “You know, it's actually pretty nice being able to complain about this with someone who understands.”

Valentine nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, it is.” Silence settled a moment before Valentine asked, “Dima, why do you even call me Nick? Didn’t you know me from before the personality imprint?”

“We didn't have names inside the Institute. And after the personality experiments started, the only name you ever called yourself was Nick Valentine. If there's another name you'd prefer, I'd be happy to -”

“No. No, I... I like the name. When you wear something for a long time, it kind of seeps into ya, you know?”

“Of course. And yet your… friend, only calls you Valentine.”

“Habit. Calls me Nick when it’s important. So, what happened after the Institute? To you, I mean.”

“After our escape, after the… fight… I eventually made my way here, simply wandering North, hiding on a ship, anything to get as far away from the Institute as I could. Once my escape felt secured, I was left with nothing. No programmed task, no false memories. I spent a year just sitting in a cave. Just sitting. One day, it finally occurred that maybe I could decide for myself what to do, who I was. It was decades before I met another of my kind. At first, I didn't believe it. I thought the person I was talking to was deluded. And then I realized the truth. That we were the same. I didn't know it then, but that's when Acadia really started. And you, Nick? What happened after?”

“Woke up one day in a garbage heap, a body in tatters and a head full of memories belonging to a man who'd been dead for 200 years. Suffice to say it was a confusing couple of weeks.”

“I am sorry -”

“I know. I was still confused, you didn’t want to hurt me, but… anyway. My first human contact in the world was actually a kid. I think his name was Jim. Grilled me for an hour. Once they'd seen I wasn't going to hurt anyone, the other folks in the neighborhood came out to ogle the mechanical man. It eventually turned into a pretty swell soiree. Local mechanic even gave me a once over, free of charge. Those people, they treated me like a human being. I've been trying to return the favor ever since.”

“That sounds wonderful. It's… not what I expected.”

“Don’t get me wrong, took me a long damn time to get a feel for the Commonwealth. Eventually made my way to Diamond City. Plenty of people assumed I was just a saboteur, moving in to melt down the reactor or poison the drinking water. But they couldn't exactly turn me away.”

“Why?”

“Because I'd rescued the mayor's daughter.”

I softly laughed. “I'll never tire of hearing this story,” I said to Faraday behind me. “As you've been standing there a few minutes, I imagine you'd like to hear the rest?”

He sounded a bit embarrassed. “I was going to ask if you were spying again. I suppose you were, but not quite like I thought. I have to say, I hoped Nick would come back. Dima really is glad to see him again. But I don't quite understand why you want to help.”

“I am a man of my word, and I am not in the habit of abandoning those in need.”

We listened for a time. “Did he really pretend to be a bomb?” Faraday asked.

“So he says.”

“No one could be stupid enough to fall for that.”

“Clearly you haven't met many raiders.”

“Um. Well, no, I guess I haven't.”

We were joined by Chase. “What in the world are you two doing?”

We moved away before we could be discovered. “We didn't want to interrupt!” Faraday protested.

Chase rolled her eyes and turned to me, “You're a detective, right? You've had experience finding missing people.”

I must admit, there is a certain comfort that comes with the anticipation of a case. “What's happened?”

“A synth was supposed to arrive from the Commonwealth, but he's gone missing. Brooks in Far Harbor has all the details, he's the one who was supposed to watch for his arrival. Tell him I sent you.”

She gave me Brooks’ unit designation from the Institute, just in case he didn't want to cooperate. Valentine and Dima were still talking. The sun would be setting by the time I reached Far Harbor; hardly an ideal time to track down a missing person, but given the dangers of the island, there was no time to waste. I resolved to head into town at least, and see what Brooks could tell me. I left Valentine to catch up with his brother. I didn’t know if it would help or not, but I think it’s important he get some sense of the old synth on the mountain… and, more importantly, that Dima gets a sense of the sort of man his brother is.

I hurried into Far Harbor and found Brooks cleaning up. The missing synth, a young man called Derrick, had arrived ahead of schedule in a panic. Brooks tried to calm him down but Derrick, convinced he was being pursued, ran off. Brooks was unable to stop him, or find him when he disappeared. He feels terrible about it. The only information he could give me was that Derrick had white hair and had run off down the south road.

“Then I suppose I’ll head south,” I sighed.

“Sure you want to be out an' about in the dark, cap'n?”

I turned and saw Longfellow approaching from the Last Plank, a bottle of whiskey in hand. “The sun hasn't set just yet, and if there's the slightest chance that he is still alive we must move quickly.”

“We?”

“If I had my dog with me, tracking Derrick down would be simple, sunshine or no,” I grinned, “but I’d gladly take a septuagenarian hunter instead.”

“Hmph,” he seemed amused, I think, though honestly it’s hard to tell. “And where’s your friend?”

“Acadia. He’s catching up with his brother, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Brother, huh?” Longfellow was supremely skeptical, but shrugged and said, “Brooks, watch this for me.” He put his whiskey on the counter, “I’ll be back as soon as this young pup makes a fool of himself tracking at night.”

I did not, in fact, make a fool of myself. To the contrary, Longfellow was impressed with my ability to observe details, and only corrected me once when I confused the blood trail of a wounded radstag with the trail of blood we’d been following. Given the nature of the trail, I knew the young man was likely dead… but nothing prepared me for the grisly nature of his fate. We tracked him to a house where trappers had set up camp. They’d eaten him, and left his head among the remains. 

The Institute was gone, what had he been running from? A lone Courser? The Brotherhood? An imagined foe born from paranoia? Whatever the reason for his fear, Brooks had been in no position to stop his flight, through no fault of his own. How many people have died trying to reach a place of refuge?

Longfellow was grim, “Damn shame. Suppose you’ll let Acadia know?”

“Yes. Will you tell Brooks?”

“I’ll tell him. He’ll probably blame himself, even though it’s not his fault. I'll see to him, don't worry.”

I thanked him, and hurried back to Acadia. Chase was distressed to hear the news. This does, in fact, happen often. I don't mean the cannibalism, specifically, but synths being killed en route to Acadia. The island is a death trap for those ill prepared. This place doesn’t need ideals of peace and isolation, it needs practical help for the physical challenges of survival.

Valentine just found me. I'd managed to find an empty spot to sleep for the night, and was writing the above as he sat down next to me.

“You snuck out on me,” he said, perhaps a touch put out.

“I didn't want to interrupt. I found Longfellow in town.”

“Just want to make sure you get home in one piece,” he held my hand. “Chase mentioned something about finding a missing synth?”

I told him what I'd found. He shook his head with a heavy sigh. “This place…”

“Acadia is a worthy idea severely lacking in execution.”

“Considering what they've got to work with, it's amazing they've got this much.” It was true, the resources are limited, the neighbors unfriendly… “If only there were some sort of organization that could lend a helping hand,” he finished sardonically.

I chuckled, “The thought had crossed my mind, but would Dima accept help?”

“It’ll be a surprise, that’s for sure. He’s not fond of the Railroad, doesn’t understand why they’d remove synth identities instead of embracing them, but no one here knows what the Minutemen under their current management are about.”

“It is a bit out of our jurisdiction,” I said with a grin, “but perhaps some trade could be set up at the very least. Did you enjoy talking to him?”

“It was… nice. Strange. He was alone on this rock for a long time before he met another person. He’s… removed from a lot of life. Most of what he knows about the Commonwealth is second-hand knowledge, what he’s heard and stored in his memory banks. I think he got more out of the conversation than I did, listening to stories about the world. I still can't quite crack what makes him tick.”

“Beyond protecting his people?”

“Protecting is fine and good, but every time he mentions ideals and synths having their own culture and way of life… well, that would be nice, but it'll take a long time for that to happen. Not sure the people here are as in it for the long haul as Dima is… or as willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

There certainly seems to be a disconnect. We'll find out soon enough if it's all worth it.

[razberryyum]

Gintama manga chap 669

Dear Gintama gods and Sorachi-sama,

I had a feeling you would do something unexpected or even downright goofy for the 14th anniversary chapter, and doing a timeskip was definitely a possibility that crossed my mind but only briefly. I figured even if you were to do a timeskip, you would probably do it at the end of the battle so I didn't even give that thought much weight; never did I think that you would do the timeskip right at the most exciting part of the climax, where everyone's fates were literally up in the air, dropping down at them like an atom bomb from space.

Whether this timeskip is for real or simply a figment of Shinpachi's imagination akin to a Jacob’s ladder moment OR your way of trolling us for the next couple of chapters until you've finally decided that we've had enough and mercifully return to where we left off in the war, it doesn't matter for now: I will simply accept the turn of events at face value and seek solace in whatever little hope the future may offer.  First of all, I cannot tell you how relieved I am that at least Gintoki, Kagura and Shinpachi are still alive two years from now.  Even though they seemingly have gone their separate ways, as long as they are still living, there is always hope for a reunion so while the sight of them walking off in different directions was sad, I also couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief that they are still walking. Of course the very noticeable absence of Sadaharu hurt my heart—even his exclusion from the portrait of the Yorozuya was enough to make me tear up—but then the fact that Shinpachi didn't straight out say that he was dead gave me the glimmer of hope that perhaps Sadaharu was still alive, but just not with the Yorozuya or Kagura anymore. Since the terminal looks like it's still in the process of being rebuilt, perhaps he has permanently returned to work with Ane, Mone and Komako to help keep the dragon pulse under control in the meantime. Until we actually learn of everyone's fates, I will continue to hold this motto near to my heart: if there's no gravesite, they may still be alive. And in lieu of a gravesite, an actual statement of their condition would also work. That's the tendril of hope I will continue to fiercely hold on to regarding our Shinsengumi boys, the rest of the Yato family, our Joui boys, Tae-chan, Nobume, Madao, the Oniwabanshuu, the Yoshiwara ladies, Otose, the Kabukichou guardians, and hell, just about everyone else we have become familiar with and love in the Gintaverse.

I should say however, as I was really thinking hard about it: had this chapter really been the last of Gintama, I actually don't think I would have been that upset with the ending. Of course it would absolutely NOT be the most satisfying ending to a 14 year long series since there are too many unanswered questions—in fact, I might even regrettably have to call this type of ending a sort of cop out—but the redeeming factor in such an ending would be that in addition to the Yorozuya three surviving, there is also some comfort to leave some things open-ended so that we can insert our own answers based on our own hopes and desires. We can imagine our own scenarios for how the Amenotori Death Star didn't obliterate the planet (for me, I would probably guess it had something to do with Prince Hata's little ship in conjunction with Gundam pirate's hacking and Sadaharu's sacrificing) and then our own resolutions to the various relationships. In that way, while the lack of definite answers may be frustrating, at least there's little chance in being disappointed with how things turn out. We can write our own conclusions in our head, which is not always a bad thing. And then, a year or two down the line, if the fancy strikes you, you can always come back to the story and pick up where you left off by filling in the gaps so that you can start a new saga for Gintama and the Yorozuya. As long as everyone's still alive, there is always hope for new adventures.

Frankly, I might be talking myself into wishing this was the last chapter because now I'm starting to worry what kind of bad news we would be receiving as the timeskip chapters continue onward. Even issues like whether or not certain people end up with or NOT end up with certain other people are going to plague me until you give us the actual answer. And then I worry just how disappointed I will be if things don't go the way I had hoped they would...so can you understand why an open-ended timeskip ending that is mostly Shinpachi-centric would actually be more desirable for a crazy person like me?  

That is not to say I want Gintama to end at all; that would of course always be my greatest wish, that Gintama continues on forever. I don't mind if this timeskip marks the beginning of Shinpachi's new saga which will go on for years to come: all I ask is that no one I care about is dead and hopefully they can drop in once in a while for a cameo. Therefore, whatever the ultimate purpose of this timeskip is, please, just be merciful. My heart is quite fragile.

Yours truly,

A silly fangirl with yaoi dreams

(^3^)

PS: If this was indeed the moment that marked the end of life as we knew it in Edo and everyone was reborn differently afterwards, I am at least grateful that two of my beloved couples--Gintoki/Hijikata and Okita/Kagura--along with three of my most beloved families--Yorozuya, Shinsengumi and Yato--were close together when the apocalypse occurred. I am so glad that Shinpachi and Kagura were able to pull back Gintoki in time from the abyss Utsuro was falling into so that they at least got to have this last moment together.