#i truly am doing my best
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ęµ ; "blessing"
12/22: consider this piece my love letter to a character who has become so near and dear to me and who has inspired so much of my artistic growth this past year <3 happy birthday megumi, your name becomes you ā¹ ą£Ŗ Ė
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#when i tell u i worked on this piece for 7 days for 12hrs/day i am not exaggerating#i wanted to pull out all the stops i wanted this to be a full showcase of my skills#i was worried abt the angle bc birdseye/lookdown angles r always tricky and looking at it a month later i think i wld change some stuff but#overall i'm just so satisfied the background the flowers the colours#which btw the flowers KILLED me the rosary KILLED me his entire hand and sleeve area had me like why did i do this#but it was worth it it's all for him everything is for him id do ANYTHINg fr him do u understand me do. do you. do u understaND#if all i can offer him in tribute is art then u best bet i'm not gna cut corners#if that means hand rendering each individual turquoise vein and jade bead and paper fold then that's what i'll do#hbd again megumi u truly have become my muse <3
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ā¬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Whā yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: ā¦ yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do itā¦
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's rightā¦ - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: ā¦ - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): ā¦It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so niceā - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world'sā not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can nowā¦Ā
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: justā yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, thenā! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: andā yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOOāMP
page 15
Riz: WHā DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warmā¦
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: whā - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, Iā - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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#and yes i did go to christkindlmarkt today#wingull#anime#truly i hope i do not get sick again. i have gotten sick approximately Every Single Fucking Time i have gone out this year#and though i did my best to be precautious it was just such a small space with so many people#i am so. horribly terrified of getting sick again. i don't want it to happen to me again#i've been sick so many times this year. if it happens to me again i straight-up will never leave the apartment again#i didn't want to this time but. i had to. for the raclette#if you don't know what raclette is then :/ sorry. you're missin out#by the time this post goes up i will know whether i am sick or not#ask me then. if i don't respond i am probably sick
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Chilchuckās wife and family - Facts, theories and headcanons
I want to keep this as a sort of masterpost on Chilās family situation if I can, but if we get a lot of information on it (in the additional content that Kui is gonna make) that renders this more or less useless I probably wonāt update this anymore. If you find other crumbs of information or I've said anything factually incorrect please do tell me! I'm planning to edit this as we go since I want to compile most if not all of the information and pages we get about this topic on here, and if I just wait to post it perfection paralysis will nip this in the bud. It focuses a lot on Chilchuck and Chilchuck's wife relationships, but the daughters and Chilchuck's own parents and siblings are talked about as well.
CW/disclaimer: This post talks about messy family dynamics and such, thereās no outright abuse Iām implying anywhere, but alcoholism and neglect are mentioned and discussed. Iām not here to demonize anyone! I love every character involved and I just want to theorize about the topic as a layered issue that involves complex characters. Also, I try to use very transparent language as to when Iām citing or analyzing canon information and when Iām giving a personal interpretation or headcanoning.
Abbreviated table of content:
Timeline and circumstances
Possible strains on the marriage
The hair question. Confirmation on what his wife looks like?
Other family dynamic & post-canon theories & headcanons
Parenting style + misc in a reblog addition (new)
Letās start with the facts, shall we?
Timeline and circumstances
So, we see that Chilchuck and his wife are childhood friends, and they married at 13 years old and had two children in that same year. Since half-foots reach the age of maturity at 14, they seem to be what we'd call teen parents. It's a bit debatable though, since Laios says the age of maturity for tallmen (humans) is 16 instead of 18 or even 21, so what's considered to be the age of maturity is a cultural thing and isn't fully reliable when we want to compare to our irl understanding and what developmental stage it perfectly aligns with. Also, during the succubus chapter Chichuck says that his daughters were all now of age to be independent, and Chilchuck's wife leaves to live with Flertom, which would mean that Puckpatti was independent at age 10 and lived away from home as well (since she's the third/last daughter). Ah yes another interesting thing to note is that we donāt know the pregnancy periods for the races, since Meijack and Flertom were born the same year. It could be tight timing or it could be something else, but I donāt think theyāre twins, they keep talking about them being the oldest and the middle child, them being twins is definitely the sort of thing that would get mentioned.
Him starting working on the island notably happens just one year before his wife leaves him. I don't remember the other instances of him mentioning it though I feel like it happened, but since he started working at the Island's dungeon, working as a dungeon diver and then forming the half-foot guild, that probably means he started being away for longer periods of time and having a less reliable schedule on when he'd be coming back home. It is said that he went back home somewhat regularly iirc, though he usually ends up sleeping at the half-foot guild quarters. I'm not sure if Kahka Brud is also where he lived with his family, or just since he rented someplace new after she left him. He and his timeline state that he was born in a small village "northeast of the island", which he left at 14 one year after being married, but it isnāt stated where they go after so itās unsure how far his home was from the island if it wasnāt in Kahka Brud. We donāt know when his father died so if that factors in to him leaving his village we have no clue.
Chil also says that he hasnāt seen or spoken with his wife nor daughters since the incident, which would mean he's gone 4 years without contact with his family during the events of canon. I don't remember if Chilchuck is said to exchange letters with his daughters, beyond the initial one from Flertom saying her mother was with her, so I've been assuming he hasn't.
He also says "For about ten years Iāve been travelling to dungeons in various areas and doing work" which considering heās turning 29 that year would mean he started around 19 years old? The panel also gives details what sort of work heās been doing. Either way itās confirmed that Chilchuck travels for his work a lot.
In addition, since Chilchuck has the seal of approval of the bicorn + says so himself, he has always stayed faithful to his wife. So that means that unless he's had previous adventures before he was 14 and got married, he's never dated anyone else in his life, nor had romantic or sexual encounters/experiences with others in his 16 years of marriage right up to canon (year 514). I feel itās safe to say that itās implied that during all these years starting from when they were married, Chilchuck's wife was a housewife whose main job was taking care of the kids and the house.
Marcille's take on what happened is unreliable, as Kui even takes the time to directly say so in the Adventurer's Bible, so I don't want to use it as a baseline even if it offers some insight on what could have happened (her feeling out of place, leaving to test his love, etc etc).
What Chilchuck says seems to be accurate though since it pertains to his perspective of the events! Unlike how Marcille's theory flows, Chilchuck was aware that something was off before she left since she "suddenly fell into a bad mood".
Piecing everything together, my theory: Chilchuck and his wife were childhood friends and have always always sort of danced around of each other, the classic movie love story with childhood sweethearts, until they ultimately confessed and got together. While dating, Chilchuck's wife becomes pregnant and they're both unequiped to deal with the situation but decide to marry, either a bit forced in order to cover it up or hopeful to make the best of it. They make it work as they can and Chilchuck works to provide for the family while she takes care of the home and the kids, which means that even though he's not a deadbeat father (he cares, he was at least a bit involved in their lives and raising them since for example he knows how to braid hair after all) he ends up being rather absent from home. It only gets worse over the years, especially when Chilchuck starts working further and further away from home and coming home less often, and since Puckpatti left home Chilchuck's wife is alone at home most of the time, never knowing when Chilchuck would be coming and if to prepare the table for two instead of one, or even if he'd be coming back at all since his work is dangerous. The humdrum and lifestyle would get to her, they've grown into different people in these 10 years of marriage and she doesn't feel the spark or feels valued & seen anymore, so she leaves. He feels confused and betrayed which turns into anger so he doesnāt try to reach out and mend things, and with the way he says theyāre estranged and he moves away I think heās avoiding his family somewhat.
Possible strains on the marriage
Tfw all your daughters are independent and your husband is gone to work almost all the time and he barely even tells you that he loves you, is there even a reason to stay together anymore? Every day itās just you and an empty house and chores to do, wondering if you have to cook for one or for two today.
Alright itās analysis and theorizing time! Although there are more facts down in this post if you care about Chilchuck's wife's appearajce, Chilchuck's parents & siblings or the kids, the essential facts so to speak were all in the first part.
We don't see Chilchuck showing any discontent with his wife through the manga so I'm assuming that he was content in his marriage, happy with his wife, and with how he stayed faithful to her even in the 4 years after she left (and never stopped calling her his wife. Which also shows a weird stubborn attitude since he wasnāt planning on reaching out to her and mend things but Iāll put aside the possible entitlement/coping mechanism for another time) I think he truly loved her and still does. Since she left him and not the reverse, I'm putting a lot of emphasis on his wife's side of things. Especially since we do see how Chilchuck is at work quite a bit but never see how he is at home. Iāll be sounding harsh towards Chil on this but heās pretty much the only party we can criticize since we donāt know her, I still side with Chil on the leaving issue though, heās justifiably pissed if she left without a word what the hell even.
Alcoholism and health
Chilchuckās favorite food as listed in the Adventurerās Bible is beer, and itās shown that heās prone to drinking until drunk whenever he gets the opportunity to. A cheerful drunk is still a drunk. (Extra reading: if interested here's a oneshot FMA fanfic by a friend that goes in depth about this very topic that really illustrates what sort of family dynamic that can bring about. Itās not dunmeshi but itās a good read.) Chilchuck is also canonically underweight, starving himself for a strict weight management diet (Extra reading: you can look at a short compilation post about that here). Did you know under eating makes one irritable? And this is on top of Chilchuck sometimes/regularly coming back home with "horrible injuries", since Marcille guesses it and he acts like sheās dead right on everything that far.
Itās rough seeing someone you love mistreat themselves, not being able to shake them out of that and having to stay to see them wasting away. Itās rough seeing them put their work above their own health. Putting their work even above their family. Putting alcohol over family time. It's not that simple, but there's always that element when asking someone you love to tone it down with things like alcohol or such, that if they refuse, then it feels like they value that thing more than they value your feelings or opinions. That they love alcohol more than they love you.
You know how thereās often this thing of "Well Iām providing everything for this family, so whatever else that I do you donāt get to complain." I do think that itās something theyād have argued over a little bit, not that heād say it that way, but the essence of it. "Chilchuck, youāre drinking a lot of alcohol often, Iām worried maybe you should ease up on it." "This is what I want to do in my free time, give me a break.", "Dear, your mood gets worse when youāre hungry, I really think you should stop dieting-" "Would you rather I die in a trap because I was too heavy?", "Honey I donāt like when you work so far away from home for so long" "Well what else can I do, do you have any better idea?". That sort of thing. Even if not being passive agressive or snappy, or even spoken upon, these situations can cause tension, or a feeling of powerlessness or imbalance in the relationship. Although I personally feel like they were both rather passive in their relationship (thus having little arguments), which itself can be a problem since yes they let each other live but they grew more distant and less communicative as a result, more on that later. Content and tolerating, rather than happy and fulfilled.
Workaholism and long distance
Spending a lot (or even a majority?) of time away from home for years and years obviously can strain relationships in many ways. Besides becoming more distant, both with his wife and his daughters, there's just that side that maybe you grow apart or you end up not knowing them all that well. Like the fictional dialogue excerpts I wrote just above, the way Chilchuck puts work above most things can by itself be the source of a lot of unhealthy habits and strains that could not only hurt himself but his relationships too. Devoted doesnāt mean attentive, even if Chilchuck 100% devotes himself to only her romantically and works in the goal to support her that doesnāt transfer into being there for her, even when he physically is.
An absent father isn't necessarily a deadbeat father, but an absent father is absent. And alright, we donāt know what his schedule was like exactly, but he was busy and traveled around, I think itās fair to assume that if we were to make comparisons itād be like parents irl who are often on work trips. We don't know what Chilchuck's wife's social circle is like, but regardless of how big or small or supportive it is it would be easy to get lonely I think. Besides raising the kids undoubtedly falling more onto her shoulders as well. Managing a household can be very hard and tiring even when not alone, I can imagine she felt like she missed the support of Chilchuck either as help or comfort oftentimes. We know very little about her, but I don't get the impression that she'd build up resentment over it except maybe her āfalling into a bad moodā, but exhaustion? Absolutely.
Itās also implied imo, even beyond Chil not often being at home, that they rarely go out together. And that could very well be part of why she was mad after the outing. In Marcilleās theory she says that her wife felt out of place amongst all the cool adventurer coworkers, and if itās a rare time that they go out together and it was supposed to be about her meeting his coworkersā¦ I feel like what could have happened was that she felt out of place yes, and even moreso if she ended up not participating in conversations much because of it and no one really seemed to care, and the evening was all Chilchuck and his coworkers chatting it up as always and she was an outsider, if she sort of just faded into the background, if it felt like nothing would have changed wether she was there or not... If she felt like her presence didnāt matter on this special outing that rarely happened, it could have been the straw that broke the camelās back for her to want to leave, definitely. He finally comes back after a long work travel and they finally go out and this is what their quality time is like? The outing that was supposed to be about her & them both ended up being all about him, and once more she was supposed to just orbit around him and his life without complaint or her own selfish wants like a devoted wife. With how Chil said that she got mad "all of a sudden" on the way home and he didnāt know why, plus that he was probably drunk (which may very well have made the whole thing worse), I feel like it supports that he didnāt pay her much attention during the evening, not that Iām assigning him ill intent at all, Iām sure that for him, it was a casual and fun night out and he didnāt think it'd been unpleasant or alienating for her.
That night
And all of this speculation in order to try and figureā¦ What happened? Why did she leave? I've already gone into it a fair bit, but this is where I discuss it fully in depth.
We canāt rely on Marcilleās theory. Neither in the why she felt so out of place enough to want to leave, nor if her intention when leaving was to "test" him. I definitely agree that the reason why she left is layered and that the night/outing was the straw that broke the camelās back more than the cause perse, but besides that itās hard to say how much of it was impulsive and how much was because nothing else had worked to fix their relationship, or how long she'd been thinking of maybe leaving him.
Personally my favorite interpretation isn't that she found herself to be boring surrounded with Chilchuck's adventurer coworkers, or her reason for leaving is super centered around insecurity and if Chilchuck even loves her anymore, but that she sees how rich and eventful Chilchuck's life is and at the same time realizes how stagnant her own life has been. Chilchuck has adventurers for coworkers and they go out to bars and spend evenings together chatting it up, while she always does the same house chores every day and waits, and wonders, uncertain about when her huband would come back, and waits some more. She has a sort of passive role in her own life that gets pulled in one way or another by the people around her at their whims and needs, which is also a recurring theme in the manga: having a passive role in your own life, or a role that's devoted to others. Like with Falin who's always following her parents' directives or following Laios around, being the party's healer and eventually sacrificing herself for Laios and Marcille (she also doesn't seem to think much of marriage, as seen with Shuro proposing to her and her not having answered yet, which fits with how she was supposed to have an arranged marriage in her hometown too; a loveless marriage isn't something alarming to her). Izutsumi too, whose whole arc is about her gaining freedom and figuring out how to use this empowerment for herself and what she wants.
So she'd sit there, not knowing anyone except Chilchuck and not being able to follow their conversations about dungeons, and think about how this is a world she's totally apart from. How she knows so little of the world compared to him. She'd realize that while she's always waiting for Chilchuck to come home, dedicated to him and their family, Chilchuck's world doesn't stop and end at where and when he sees her, that while she's waiting he's living and experiencing things and being self-fulfilled. She's so passive and devoted and her tasks seem almost senseless now that the house is empty except for her, and in that time he's formed half-foot unions and she understands so little of what his life has become outside of her sight. This isn't a diss on Chilchuck or his attitude, I just think that it'd make her ponder about happiness and lifestyles, what's worth it and if she's content with her life. I think she'd find that her and Chilchuck aren't on the same page anymore, and probably they don't communicate much or even that they don't know how to communicate with each other anymore.
Other factors
They really do seem to be on different pages and not know how to communicate with each other well, since for example Chilchuck thinks that on the way back home she "suddenly" fell into a bad mood and seemingly left it alone, or otherwise they didn't talk until he knew what was wrong. Or like how she left and Chilchuck never reached out to her to talk or mend things, just like she never reached out either. According to Marcille it could be that she wanted to "test his love" and see if he'd even care if she was gone, but Chilchuck just got angry that she left like that and never reached out to her, so if that's true they definitely have incompatible expectations or ways to deal with things like that. Maybe she thought of leaving as something he should react to by trying to win her back, but Chilchuck did nothing and let her do her thing, and tbh if that were me I'd also have waited on her to reach out because I figure out that if someone leaves me they want space from me idk. He seems to be rather passive when it comes to interpersonal relationships and how they can mess up, made an analysis post here that talks about it, so the way he reacted by not reacting doesn't feel surprising, maybe she didn't know/remember that part of him, or wanted to shake him out of that tendency. He has no clue why she left, and there are just so many misunderstandings here that it's impossible to know what happened and how she felt and what she wanted for the future.
Also, weāre shown that younger Chilchuck, when he started dungeon crawling, is much more "innocent" and optimistic, less closed off on himself and bitter, and maybe he hasn't even developed his famous "sarcastic retorts" and "abusive remarks" yet as is plastered on all his character introductions and stats. Chilchuck has definitely changed a lot over the years, and some would argue not for the better. Staying with someone for so long has implications that they'll change and be different of course, but signing up for marriage with someone can still leave you questioning that choice decades down the line when they're so different
We get to see his freckles fade in sync with his corruption arc /j
Tfw when you canāt recognize the man you fell in love with.
The hair question
Edit 1/13/2024 leak!!!! Things arenāt officially confirmed but this is a safe bet. You can still read this section to see my reasoning to thinking she had black hair prior to this tho haha
It's not all that important rationally, but the community's been split on the topic: is Chilchuck's wife blonde or not?
Kui highlights Chilchuck being attracted to blondes a grand total of three times, and many assume that his wife is blonde due to this. However, the only vision we see of Chilchuck's wife is Marcille imagining herself as a halfling, so it's up for debate! Flertom has black hair, and that's mostly been the key clue that has people arguing.
I'm not an expert in genetics but black hair is a dominant gene, but it also doesn't mean a black haired parent can't have a brown haired kid, or that two brown haired parents can't have a kid with black hair. As long as one of the parents have it in their genetic code from somewhere in their family tree, it's possible, if not maybe unlikely.
People have been taking Flertom having black hair as evidence that Chilchuck's wife has black hair, but it could be Chilchuck that has the gene and could pass it on. Although...
That seems unlikely. We don't know what Chilchuck's elder brother's hair color was, and his elder sister does have a darker brown hair color, but in the case their parents had black hair or the gene for it, it seems highly unlikely if not impossible for the dominant black hair gene to miss this many amount of time in the gene russian roulette game.
And so I shall now call a witness to the stand, and you reader shall be the judgeā¦ Dandan.
You know, this guy? He makes appearances throughout the whole manga, but only has one spoken line in an easy to brush over flashback iirc. He's most often seen hanging out around Chilchuck and other half-foots, but it's unsure how far back he and Chilchuck go.
Now. Remember how Chilchuck and his wife are childhood friends? What if, and hear me out, what if Dandan is related to her. A cousin, or a sibling. Or maybe he's Chilchuck's cousin, even, if we go the reverse route.
The chapter cover
Look at the chapter cover below! We see each member of the main party at a table that's meaningful to them and their history, mostly showing themes of family, community and routine. Laios and Falin sharing a meal by themselves, Marcille at a meal in the cafeteria at the magic academy, Senshi by himself cooking in the dungeon, Izutsumi with Inutade at the Nakamoto household, and... Chilchuck, surrounded by much more mysterious and unknown characters and surroundings.
The only face we see besides the infant is a young one on the left which strikes me as looking a ton like Chilchuck! I doubt it's Meijack or Puckpatti, or someone else, especially since Chilchuck left his hometown pretty early which must make family gatherings harder (and routine is implied with the othersā panels). If it were Meijack I think Kui would have drawn it to more closely match her too, and have her usual freckles. I also don't think it's just Chilchuck and his own family, since if that's Chilchuck the only sibling with black hair he could have is his elder brother and the infant in the middle is clearly, well an infant.
My thoughts are that the table is shared with family friends, or at least members of the community. The elderly person implies that either there's extended family or itās a gathering, especially if Chilchuck's grandparents don't live with them. Community is implied to be very important with half-foots imo, and if Chilchuck is from a small hometown like he says that would surprise me even less. Childhood friends are often brought together as friends because of circumstances, such as proximity or their families being friends! Doesn't that kid almost off-panel on the right, with a Flertom-like hairstyle and black hair, look to be the same age as the Chilchuck on the left? š
Alsoā¦ Notice the dragon plush sheās holding?
Passed down from mom to daughter? The "most likely belonged to his daughters" is interesting too
If he is related, Dandan could be the infant. I suppose he doesn't end up mattering all that much in the end if you theorize that the Flertom-like kid is his wife on its own though haha. But wether or not you think that this is convincing enough, it's all we have on the topic for now.
Ah yes! Lastly, I've seen the sentiment around that his wife should be blonde, that Chilchuck's taste for blondes, if not the thing that brought them together, should be an acquired taste from loving his wife. That if that's not the case, then Chilchuck's type being blondes is either out of place or insuting or unromantic, etc etc. I can't help but disagree! I think, especially with how Chilchuck and his wife are domestic and all about knowing each from a young age, familiarity etc etc, that it would be so sweet if she wasn't his type! Loving someone so deeply, even if they aren't an idealized type... Which is a common theme/story & character beat in Dungeon Meshi.
Family dynamic theories
Meijack is the most capable, takes after her father the most, seems to have her own business as a locksmith but has a stable steady life. Flertom is the most social, she works at a tavern which seems stable and is ambitious with marriage plans, she has a caring side to her since she sent her dad a handmade gift. Puckpatti is the most upbeat, though she has the most unstable lifestyle, seemingly doing odd jobs.
His daughters do seem well adjusted, which encourages me in that their family seems amicable on the whole and (at the very least) decently functional. We donāt hear what they think of Chilchuck but presumably none of them are on bad terms with him or each other. Flertom does say that "half-foot men are stingy" which, gee, I wonder what half-foot man would have made taught her that- though it does also seem to be a racial stereotype in general, with how for example Namari also says to "steer clear from stores with half-foot clerks".
Flertom seems to be the only one who reached out after their mother left (the only one who's mentioned to have done so at least), and it's because she was the one who took in her mother. Itās not implied that they exchange letters regularly too iirc, it possibly was the only letter they've exchanged since then. I wonder if the daughters even know the full story, if their mother told them all about it or very little. Maybe some are pretty out of the loop, or more distant.
It strikes me that they don't seem to be very close. We're not shown anything that leads us to believe they don't like their father, but I think they're so used to him being absent for work that such distance is normal for them and they don't really long for a deeper relationship or to see him often. They were already out of the house and it seems like they didn't see each other much at that time either so for them it would be just a bit less than the regular amount of Dad time. It's been 4 years Chilchuck what are you doing... But yeah! From what we see they seem mostly unaffected, almost indifferent, not that we can truly tell. I imagine Flertom is the one most attached to Chilchuck with how she sent him a handmade cowl, and I think he rubbed off the most on Meijack teachings wise (besides her attitude, sheās also the one who still wears braids, and we see that Chilchuck braids hair). It makes sense, since they're oldest, and on the contrary I think Puckpatti is the one that knows her father the least. It'd fit the timeline with him working away more while she grew up imo.
Wouldn't it be interesting then that she's the one that Chilchuck says is carefree, in the official translation "doesn't treat life real seriously"? That she's the most optimistic, the most go-with-the-flow, out of the bunch? To me that sounds like a result from her being the youngest and Chil being the most often at work, thus her getting raised by her mother without as much involvement from Chil. Far be it from me to say Chilchuck would raise his daughters to be unhappy btw, not at all, we just all know what down-to-earth values he wants others to have so he doesn't have to worry about them.
Althoughā¦ Puckpatti spotted?? Seems like he wants to stop her from buying something? His heart meter for her is full <3 (Note: Iāve seen it be argued that this could be his wife. I disagree, since the "stop them" and way that the long haired one is off-center compared to everyone else gives the sense that itās many of his daughters, and the fact that itās styled after a dating sim doesnāt mean itās romantic love as we see with the others. Otherwise imagine being her wife and he tells you not to buy stuff when you go shopping together rip)
Headcanons time:
When naming the daughters, together they choose a pool of names theyād like but only one has the final say, and they alternate between who that is. Chilchuck sticks around more near the end of her pregnancies, and he hasnāt missed any of their births. I donāt have any opinions on who named who right now, but there could be some interesting stuff to theorize with Puckpatti, like them taking extra care picking the name together because they settled on her being their last daughter for fluff, or it was supposed to be Chilchuck but he was so busy that he ended up not picking in time and she was the one to name her for angst.
Actually scratch that I have a new theory : What if itās actually customary for each parent to pick one half of their half-foot kidās name? So then each would have chosen half of each girlās nameā¦ And this could be why Chil calls Puckpatti Patti instead of Puck which is her first name, because heās stubborn since Patti was his pick lmaoooo. Pattipuck doesnāt have the same ring to it alas, his wife was so right
Chilchuck liked to do activities with the girls when they were young. He's not opposed to relaxing at home with them perse, but he likes to do workshops with stuff like arts & crafts to develop their agility some. I don't think they'd do much outings to places like restaurants or theatres for money reason, and I don't think Chilchuck is much of an outdoors type, but he could accompany them to nice fields to play in, or in winter places to play in snow and sled, and organize some activities at home. He's not home very often so when he is he likes to take it easy as a break from work and values the time he gets with his family.
Chilchuck would sometimes work from home as a locksmith, say, unlocking a chest for a customer. In those times, Meijack would take interest and watch him work, even handing him the tools he needs as he goes. In this way, Chilchuck taught her a lot about the work of a locksmith over time. He's also the one that would oil door hinges or do renovation around the house- when he's available.
Like the plushies under his table in his home that we see in illustrations, Chilchuck has a lot of mementos from his daughter (and his wife) he keeps around. Sometimes they take a bothersome amount of place, but throwing anything out isn't something he's seriously willing to consider. Flertom's the most artistic and she used to help with sewing clothes back together, so he has a cheap ceramic mug painted by her when she was really young and small embroideries around.
Imo Meijack would be the most distant in the present. Flertom makes efforts for her parents and is pretty involved, and Puckpatti's distance is more out of being a bit airheaded and being busy + not having a great grasp on time or what's a normal amount of family contact, but Meijack's the one who knowingly and intentionally keeps some distance. I think sheād be the least optimistic about their family situation, and although sheād be hopeful when Chilchuck reached out to them again sheād be a but hesitant. I think Meijack would hold some grudges, being the one most critical of their parenting, both grateful to her dad for working so hard for them and saddened that he wasn't in their life more. Since Flertom was born in the same year I think itās possible that Meijack was pushed aside a bit to take care of the younger baby more, out of necessity rather than lack of love. Her mom probably needed a lot of help around the house too. Flertom wasnāt blind either, and she cared about & noticed her momās emotional states, but sheās on the whole more hopeful and forgiving.
This is my most far fetched one but it is a hc after all, but I think it'd be interesting if one of them had food hoarding tendencies/stress. I like to think it's Flertom, because she's the middle child and would get told that her older sister and younger sister are "growing and need the food" so she wouldn't be allowed to take as much refill or such, add that to them not having much money to frivolously spend on food and that makes a kid who's worried about not eating to her hunger and tends to be possessive over food (I'm projecting). Differential treatment is inevitable in families with many siblings, and it can manifest in small or big ways, maybe they realize it maybe they don't. Working in a tavern has helped eased that tendency of her though, and while she does diet a bit she always leaves a meal feeling satisfied.
When they were younger, Flertom was a real firecracker, loud and spirited with some troublemaking tendencies! She was the daughter that got in trouble & got scolded the most. You can still see slivers of it now that sheās an adult, but sheās much more poised and diligent. She has much more acquaintances than friends, but she has a couple of best friends and usually gets along well with most people. Puckpatti was always a bit head in the cloud, very kind if not gullible, and tended to make friends somewhat easily but didnāt keep them for long, preferring to keep meeting new people and not keeping in touch well. She isnāt super talkative but tends to ramble when she does. Meijack is very introverted, she has more trouble making friends, she has a good handful though they donāt meet up often, her friendships tend to last and sheās close to them. Sheās grown more confident over the years, less repressed and more quiet. Meijack as the big sister tended to be the listener for her younger sisters who had more social mishaps. Flertom has dated once before and it only cemented to her that she was going to have very high standards from then on.
Meijack wears thigh-high boots because she hates when sand, dirt or snow gets in her shoes. She wears practical clothing but avoids anything frilly or flashy. Puckpatti also dresses practically, but she does enjoy pretty clothes, itās more out of necessity and due to not having enough money to indulge. Flertom has a social stable job and she loves prettying herself up (especially as sheās in search of a husband) so sheās the one who gets the most and nicest fashionable clothes and accessories.
Chilchuck is hinted to have had a rather dysfunctional family himself (alcoholic father, distant siblings, etc). So he doesnāt really have the best model on how to raise someone and such. I imagine it was a sort of neglectful home situation, where the kids are encouraged to be independent. If they didnāt have to work or help around much, then free range parenting sort of thing. We do see how the family has full and warm feasts, where someone cleans his mouth with a rag, so itās not like he didnāt have a caring circle or a tragic childhood though! I donāt remember if itās explicitely stated, but heās heavily implied to having grown up poor, as most half-foots, and I just think it's the hardened hardworking family type of childhood where just like he does with others they instill somewhat harsh life lessons in him, which in turn encourages him to indulge in the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, or at least womenās beauty and crass jokes. We do see he seems more optimistic when he's younger in flashbacks, so a bunch of his harsh view on the world is still likely learned and earned rather than taught. I still think he inherited many flawed views from how his father acted, like his attitude about excessive drinking not being a big deal and worth it. That work hard play hard, enjoy life die young mentality he has, shown mostly in the "alcohol" section of his Adventurer's Bible profile, could very well be partly a result of the general poverty half-foot communities are that he grew in as well, like how he doesn't hope for things to be as best as they could be and contends with good enough. As far as I remember, his mother is never mentioned, but I doubt it implies she was out of the picture. She was probably a regular sort of mother that took care of the home as well and was still around when his father died. It looks like thereās a good age gap between one sibling to the next, that could be interesting to dig into too.
A part of Chilchuckās character is that he takes responsibility for safety and actions of people around him and is very often looking out for them to not do faux-pas wether socially or literally with stepping onto traps. The way he says "Iāve got three people to think of here" makes me think thatās also how heād think about having to provide for his family, and that could be a source of stress and insecurity for him. Caring for others is a pretty integral part of his character and we see time and time again that his family is very important to him, in any case.
Post-canon
This pic has so much to say!! Itās the āthank you for readingā double page spread where theyāre going to a big dining table at the castle with Laios and the main gang. First family gathering in 4 years perhaps?! Iāll say, not feeling very hopeful that his wife isnāt in this, not even implied to be just off-panel with a hand or anythingā¦ I imagine before this he still talked to them at least a bit and figured their family situation out, but I think this is still in the early stages of reconnecting. Haha imagine being one of them and receiving a letter saying "Hi itās been a whileā¦ I want to introduce you to my ex-coworker the king and his friends, you up for that?" I donāt want to reconsider all my hcs for this yet, but this pic does seemingly show an eagerness from all the daughters to reunite and reconnect! Meijackās could be seen as more hesitant, but I think itās just awkwardness from meeting so many new people, of high status no less. Chilchuck does seem awkward and somewhat self-conscious though, and while that could be just from say Marcille and the others meeting his daughters and him not knowing how to act, I think that also shows that Chilchuck is unsure how to act around his daughters too. Canāt blame him, Iād be stressed too. Anyways, the daughters are all dressed up! Puckpatti even brought flowers! And I doubt itās just for Senshi, or just to be in with the king. Oh also also, Puckpatti chides Meijack here, seemingly on manners?, so that implies new/different family dynamics there~
We know with the succubus chapter that he does plan on reaching out to his wife again and shooting his shot, and when Marcille was dungeon lord he told her she could help think of a plan to make up with her together at which point Marcille showered him in gifts and flowers intended for her and his daughters. So we do know that whatever happens and however it happens, Chilchuck definitely will at least reach out to her to win her back or worse case scenario get closure on the situation.
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These are his plans before itās revealed that the Island isā¦ Well, not an island but the golden kingdom, so the news that Laios is king and that might have changed them a bit, but I think heās still gonna stick around to help with the half-foot guild for a while.
My personal ideal post-canon Chilchuck life is that after around a year or two of helping around in the golden kingdom, especially regarding half-foot working rights, he gets his shop and finally settles down. He prioritized the whole half-foot guild because there are changes to attend to and people to help, but also used that to procrastinate a bit on getting in touch with his wife again. He does send a letter though, and when she replies they then meet face to face. They explain how it was like on their end, their grievances and their feelings, and they do reconcile. Butā¦ Itās been 4 years and his wife has frankly moved on. Sheād rather they stay as friends, and Chilchuck has mixed feelings on it but is ultimately fine with it. He was halfway resigned to not reconciling with his wife in canon after all. But no longer do they have cut contact! They get together with the girls for the holidays and the ambiance is nice! He starts exchanging letters more regularly. He also gets a second family of clingy asses with Izutsumi and the main gang and so though he lives alone in his shop heās well surrounded and well loved, and his daughters visit to check up on him every so often.
I really like theā¦ Maturity of Chilchuckās plotline, if that makes sense? To me the ending that fits the most is him and his wife reconciling, but not getting back together. I like that they could still be adults about it and at least amicable even after divorce, and that that wouldnāt be treated as a tragic ending. In the end, they were childhood friends and teenage parents, they rushed things a bit and I genuinely think theyāre just not that compatible. If not then, at least having it be a gradual process, getting back together and making it work until theyāre truly comforatble with each other. Destroy the relationship to better build it again stronger!
Although, his arc in the manga is to allow himself to form connections and be optimistic, which would fit well with him and his wife getting back together. I def think Chil would get healthier post-canon which could fix the issues they had in their relationship though. Like for one he starts eating more, which improves mood & irritability & health, and also after the whole half-foot guild he plans to settle down with a shop so it wouldnāt be long distance or unstable anymore which would definitely give his wife some peace of mind. If they still do some long distance at first while he gets the half-foot guild stable, itād be really cute if he sent pressed flowers with his letters to herā¦ That could make a nice fic concept, like over time all the pressed flowers and exchanged letters hehe (oh shit thatās a nice title)
My post-canon timeline is Chilchuck lives a nice life living alone in his house except his friends all visit him and care and even tho he likes living alone itās also bittersweet and every corner of his life is haunted by mementos of the ones he loves and the moments he had with them. But then itās also like the shared duty of everyone to pass by his shop when they can and keep the old man company and sometimes that means many people come at the same time like if both Meijack and Marcille came the same day~ Cozy life, no regrets except a lil regrets still. Thatās it thatās all I want.
Misc
I didnāt know where to put this, so new category time! Family truly is a central theme of Chilchuckās character. His reaction to learning more about how life gets made is so awed by the wonder of the world. Life indeedā¦
The implication of this page is that Chil didnāt know about the science side of how procreation works, though of course he did know about the practical side of it. This is speculation, and we have no clue how widespread the information of how reproduction scientifically works lol, but I think itās fair to think that half-footsā education especially in smaller communities is handled by the parent, school of life style, or if there are schools then the education is very general and it probably ends early. I think this is supported by how for example half-footsā jobs weāve seen are based on experience rather than knowledge, like being a locksmith. Of course any job has its fair share of specialized knowledge to learn, but jobs you learn on the fly pretty well. This sort of dynamic contrasts a lot against elves many tallmen communities, like with the magic academy, where education and knowledge are valued almost above experience, this is what the mandrake chapter was all about after all. Poorer communities tend to have poorer education systems as well irl, itās a whole issue.
So I already said my piece about his wife not being blonde and it being nice and romantic because literally you donāt need someone to be a beauty ideal to love them and thatās fine and normal and even more romantic imo. But!! I do have an headcanon, now that his wifeās appearance is all but explicitly confirmed. While their hair is blonde, yes their hair is wavy and the āmainā one has deep-set eyes, not unlike his wife! Now this is a āwhich came first the egg or the chickenā question, but while most people seem to be assuming that he got with his wife because she was his type, since theyāre childhood friends I feel like itās his love for his wife that shaped his preferences in that deparment. Like ok he loves golden hair and hers is black, but isnāt it so much more romantic that he has so much love and devotion for his wife and has stared lovingly at it so much over the years, that itād become his ideal? He loves her eyes <3
Conclusion
Reminder that Iāve got more observations and tidbits compiled in a reblog addition now.
More stuff I should workshop for the masterpost:
Compile more info on Chilchuck's father and his other family. Edit: I compiled all I had pretty neatly here in a speculation post, but thereās no other concrete piece of info other than what Iāve covered here sadly. Same with stuff like Chilchuckās past work schedule and exchanged letters, there seems to be no other bits of evidence, exceptā¦
On the chapter cover and extra where heās in his basement room we can see one letter and a few papers across his desk. Maybe family letters? Wether his daughters or relatives. Seems too few to me, could just as well be job descriptions, but truly who knows, itās hopeful.
Excellent analysis on half-foot culture here by a friend that I should read and incorporate the good info into my own meta~
And thus I leave you with a lil web weaving I made about Chil & his wifeās relationship~ And this is where Iād put panels of Chilchuckās wifeā¦ IF THERE WERE ANY
Should we even call Chilchuck's wife Mrs. Tims... We don't know dunmeshi marrital traditions though, and half-foot already have somewhat complex naming conventions... I hate that we don't really know if the daughters' last names are Chils or Chilz. Although that seems to be a japanese to english translation issue, since japanese used the suffix zu and not su, likely to imitate the english S sound at the end of a word. Oh yeah the last names change each generation, thatās odd right? But in english it sounds like saying Chilās, like, [father]ās, so I think this also supports how half-foots communities tend to be tightly knit and live in the present, for them to be like "Ooh so youāre [father]ās little one eh? I know who that is and this is insightful as to who your family is to me!". Icelandās a place where last names are like this, though I donāt know about pros and cons of it in that context. Itās called a patronymic.
Ah and I have a bittersweet spotify playlist about her and Chil too, here if ya want. Thatās it the post is over
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#spoilers#chilchuck tims#delicious in dungeon#chilchuckās wife#chilchuckās family#Tims family#puckpatti#meijack#flertom#Analysis#Meta#Despite my best tries I am not omnipresent it's always fun when piecing together these topics is a community effort!!#please do build upon this if you have anything to add#but yeah editing is up in the air. I'll probably be adding stuff maybe even cutting stuff out#this is a giant post i am slightly overwhelmed#Kui puts so much importance in details it's incredible. It truly feels worthwhile to get into the weeds#We support chilchuckās wife on this blog#I covered how stressful her life could have been a bit in my Grind Me Down Sweetly fic funnily enough if ya want to give it a read. It has#Daughters mentions too hehe. And my post-canon marchil take#Oh also if thereās already theory and compilation posts out there about this iām down to link them in or smth. I havenāt seen it done but#If itās been then iām very interested in reading & seeing#Apparently chilchuck being an absent dad is a heated debated topic. Oops#Pls do not murder meā¦ Peace and love in the dungeon meshi fandom? Heās my second fave have mercy on this humble stan#This is 7k words btw. Pls do pick and choose what youāre interested in or skim or take breaks or anything
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!
Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#svsss#tgcf#wei wuxian#shen qingqiu#xie lian#better drawn mdzs#(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery)#Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done!#Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there.#The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS!#*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises.#What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible!#Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic.#Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad.#Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up!#Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*)#I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.
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One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.
(Buckle in. This is a long one.)
In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.
As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.
Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.
This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.
I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.
But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.
So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.
But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.
But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberateācultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.
It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.
He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstancesāas if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)
So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could'veāand did, for a timeāturned him further down that same dark path.
But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.
(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)
#something something hope is a weapon hope is a discipline hope is a garden to cultivate!!!#HE'S SO GOOD HE IS TRULY EXEMPLAR OF THE WHOLE PHILOSOPHY OF THE NEIN AND I DO NOT THINK THAT'S AN ACCIDENT#truly just like. enormous proponent of letting trust and curiosity into your heart regardless of the horrors.#it's hard and it makes you more vulnerable and sometimes it hurts so so much but it will also save your fucking life!#cr spoilers#critical role#essek thelyss#cr meta#I was gonna apologize for the length but I'm not sorry. I'm also not sorry for being insane about him but he's so special to me.#head in my hands he's so GOOD HE'S BEST BOI! GUIDING LIGHT NORTH STAR!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!#also truly if i had two nickels for a span of time with no essek sightings where I wrote a lot of fic#with deliberate personal acknowledgment that I was writing some pretty maximal arcs for him in terms of character growth#and then end up getting essek for half an episode and having to go OH WE'RE GOING THAT FAR ACTUALLY. FUCKING INCREDIBLE.#yanno. two nickels. but good lord I am thriving that it's happened twice#augh this is ONE of the pieces I need to write this week. we're not gonna talk about it
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so we all saw @dr2-hell's updated bunnymaeda design right. because i sure as hell did
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#GRRGRGRGRRGHHH I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS DESIGNNNNN . I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH#wanted to do some pose practice. so i went to my beloved pinterest board#and . considering i have been thinking nonstop abt bunnymaeda today. he seemed to be the best subject#this outfit is GORGEOUS and beautifully designed to like every last detail. i am truly insane about it#that said. oh my GOD it takes so long to draw.... all those damn BELTS#worth it though it's so so so fucking pretty. i want those boots and gloves i am Jealous#still not over the zipper. guys the zipper goes. it goes ALL the way to the tail. do you know what that Means#it means something i can let you infer. it also means that i can both draw bulge and evoke pussy imagery <3#<- most vulgar tag i have put on an art post in a while. mutuals you didn't read that one#really sad i couldn't include his little clover earring bc i think it's so cute#unfortunately i draw the maeda with little hair tufts at his ears#anyways i love this design so much. i am going to. Eat Him <3
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frisk enjoying their godgiven adult right of enjoying a female cuban cigar (feat. biscia's masterclass design skills) design belongs to @carlyraejepsans WHY OF COURSE
#undertale#frisk#crosspost era#yeah oh i do agree that this is the objectively best frisk design preach it because i will scream along#anyway so i particularly remmeber that sketching this specifically was a HARDSHIP im pretty sure that because first#i wanted to properly replicate frisk's skullshape because biscia is awesome at facial expression and volume and#SECOND#that goddamn HAND#anyway yeah :)) i am very proud of the shading i think that it's one of my personal touches and ive truly been improving at it#btw never take anything i say really seriously LMAO
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yknow sometimes i think about how mr seawatt gaming parkourcivilization only got to where he was by leveraging his knowledge of obscure rules and mechanics and keeping all his cards close to his heart. how he clearly only got to where he originally was in the 1st movie by making himself useful with amethyst blocks and brewing stand jumps. and how it all crumbled because evbo 360-ed all over his carefully laid plans but really, his undoing was his own hubris.
and he's shit at parkour
#parkour civilization#pkciv#pkciv fanart#seawatt#seawatt gaming#my arting#cant believe this is the fucking piece of media that parkours away my art block#anyways parkour is about to reenter the common lexicon tenfold#welcome back 2010#meme shit#but also#rant on how parkour civilization clearly doesnt accommodate for shit parkourists#however they exist and idk if its a skill issue but there clearly was like parkour librarians and shit so#in order for Champion EMF to truly do away with the tyranny of parkour civilization#he needs to create a way of advancing that... dare i say... isnt solely parkour?#but then that ruins the whole POINT of it being parkour civilization idk man#wheres the parkour healthcare. can people get injured or does the world magically keep people in tiptop shape despite starving the noobs#is the barrier truely just skill? does everyone have the same physical capabilities?#aka does every player have the same hardware? mouse sensitivity? processors?#i am rambling.#anyways im so glad none of those minecraft creators traverse these wretched grounds#these are ramblings of a mad man best kept contained
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the onion bought infowars. I repeat, the onion bought infowars
#lauren says things#the onion#infowars#i am experiencing a feeling not unlike a nov 5 feeling#except for people who have been terminally online in a very particular way#I've been obsessed with mis/disinformation since 2016#and one of my most beloved journalists ben collins#did truly incredible reporting on all the stuff that's been happening since then in the far right and elsewhere#and then a few years ago he was like#'I have to stop reporting on this stuff byeeeeee'#and quit being a journalist#and then he BOUGHT THE ONION#which is perhaps the best thing to do after sitting in the dregs of the internet for years#and now a former professional alex jones hater#owns all his shit#and is going to partner with everytown to do satire and raise awareness about gun violence#with the full support of the sandy hook parents#who he knows from his days reporting on one of the worst things to ever happen#also bluesky is down and that doesn't feel like a coincidence I think the onion broke it with this news#(or it is just a coincidence)#but anyway ben collins is my most parasocial relationship#he is literally just Some Guy I've been following on the internet for years#but this is like....the best possible outcome to all of these stories#anyway that's my niche good news for the day
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naddpod doodle request: licorice and honeysuckle! either by themselves or being cute with members of duck team
and/or
baby sol
some serpents and some sols..!
#posts by me dot com#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#you got me with the baby sols you did......#truly inconceivable a world where i do not draw him one billion million times#also the serpents... hehe.. i am . NOT good at drawing animals and creatures so this is my best attempt >:3#also. man i cannot doodle. it always turns into 30 min sketch at least .... my weakness....
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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)
#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon#but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it#and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot#in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad#and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment#where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated#and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche#and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon#and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing#it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie#that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one#maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated#if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically#skribbles
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"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#there was an article that said that maria and rhett may screw royal over? i say they should go for it! /hj#rhett x maria#i know the last gif is blurry but trust me she was holding his arm and i just thought that was adorable#i might add a lew quote if he ever gets asked about outer range s2 in an interview smh(i'm begging someone to ask him more about it!)...#the biggest fucking grin on her face whenever they kiss#her smile and him smiling back at her before the forehead kiss is EVERYTHING to me#also her little smile as he kisses the side of her head like she knows he's doing his best but knows that it's unlikely that he's leaving..#truly if it gives isa and lew more screen time i'm all for it!#i say all this but i still want a spin-off of them just on a roadtrip#i am convinced that he kisses her just because he thinks she's being really cute#i kinda had a feeling that was maria in the trailer doing something to rhett in the trailer(iykyk) and my heart still fell into my stomach#i'm not including any dream/nightmare sequences because as far as we know they can't see the future... right?#do i sound stupid and biased? maybe... please don't judge me#she's hungry but her heart aches to stay... will the flesh have its way in s3? will she be ... ''already gone'' a la eurydice in hadestown?#tw: food?#will forever be sad they didn't get a dance :(#the way he makes her giggle and smile before kissing her in the car? PLEASE#maybe leaving is her way of fixing things for the both of them so he doesn't have to choose between her and his family?#and so he doesn't have to feel guilt for holding her back every time he looks at her... but girlie have a proper conversation PLS
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OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why
the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and ādodging consequencesā dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.
ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, heās been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapperās footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). Heās got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.
The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings heās made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.
People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.
he is NOT a moral character. heās a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. heāll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences
#anyone who isnt a qbbh makn please extend some sympathy for us. our guy is being misunderstood again#so if people seem twitchier than usual that probbaly plays a factor#but if it ever gets annoying be rest assured he is doing his very best to train us in media literacy#and also the block and filter buttons are your friends#and qbbh mains join me in the genuinely freeing revelation that they have just. strawmanned him yet again#i feel like youve gotta be able to understand a character to truly hate them#and no one (not even us oh my fucking god) really understand him#and thus the vitrol means nothing and i am free of all woes#anyway tho genuinely if you want to know more about this cube im willing to talk about him#i have Credentials#one of my posts was donoād to the cc almost word for word and he called me a know it all#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#discourse#<- mentioned#an interestinf discussion could be had too about xyz character Deserving xyz thing#and really people in general Deserving xyz thing#but i think that is a wasp nest i dont know enough about to join swatting#i ngeed. to go to bed
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DO IT. WRITE THE JOHN X KIERAN FIC AND I WILL READ IT TRUST
ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR
happy new year to you as well :] !!! i hope itās filled with fun and love and light !!!!!!!
WAUGH THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT šš now idk about a full fic but uuhhmmm i can offer you some silly doodles ? hopefully iāll have the energy to draw/write them for real soon š
and of course the 3rd boyfriend
#iāve been messing around so much with my art lately i fear not only have i gotten worse at it but also itās now incredibly inconsistent#but iām having fun !!! so whatever !!!!! eventually itāll all even out and iāll be able to stop making straight masterpieces out of midtown#thank you though anon i do greatly appreciate your unwavering encouragement of me šš#it makes me happy that people want content from meeee :] it makes me feel special and a little less insecure abt what i make#i promise iāll do my best to actually form a coherent thought about their dynamic soon because i truly havenāt been able to imagine how they#would ACTUALLY be yet š iām so tired lately#The Fog has got me. trust that as soon as itās released me i will do my utmost to think of Them#i still donāt know what ship name to use for them š#iām using#jovieran#for all three of them because. of course. it just flows so well#but just john and kieran š their ship name options sound so silly#iām going to settle on#duffston#for now ?#though i may also refer to them as joffy/jorffy because itās cute to me#dude like theyāre all so stupid#jieran#kierston#wait that one is kinda cute#marffy#kiern#maybe one of them will grow on me#i actually am becoming quite fond of kierston so i may stick wit that one ā¦ i donāt know please gelp#rdr2#kieran duffy#john marston#javier escuella#hero's yelling at folks again#hero draws sometimes
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