#i tried to write him ok! i tried ;;
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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🧸Mouthwashing Crew Takes U to Build-A-Bear🧸
i am letting the autism win with this one boys
Here are some imagines for the Mouthwashing crew taking you to Build-A-Bear! They'll pick out a bear for you and help you fill it with love, give it a bath, and even record a special message just for you! This is sickly sweet and incredibly self-indulgent- I have a lot of emotions for this game. I've written fic before, but never on tumblr and never a fluff fic abt a gruesome psychological horror game, so I hope you enjoy ♡♡
Features: Curly x Reader, Anya x Reader, Daisuke x Reader, Jimmy x Reader
Tags: Fluff, Female Reader, (Implied) Age Regressor Reader, i made jimmy normal and not a psychopath (for fun)
Curly
Curly would pick the Happy Hugs Teddy Bear for you!
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Okay, really Curly let you pick which bear you wanted. There's no way he could decide out of all the choices there, plus he might not pick the right one and he really wants you to just get one you'll really love- he would definitely overthink things. So of course you had to pick one with the same wavy blonde locks that remind you of him ♡
For his special message, he would say,
"You’re my special girl."
In his sweet and soft voice. If he had his way, he would sing a lullaby, so that when you couldnt sleep at night, you could squeeze your teddy and hear his voice sing you to sleep- but he’s way too shy to do that in public, so he kept it a bit short but sweet.
You both give the heart a kiss and a rub, and Curly helps you fill the bear with just the right amount of stuffing.
He would definitely turn beet red when he realizes how often you're going to be pressing the bear's tummy just to hear his voice... HE'S SHY..!! And now everyone is going to hear him be SOFT OH GOD..
But he melts when you look up at him, so so happy you have a teddy that makes you feel just as safe and loved as he does, so maybe a little bit of embarrassment is worth it
Bonus Idea: If for some reason there was a Post-Crash Curly in this scenario, then when you two cuddle he would reach over and press the bear's tummy whenever he wants to remind you that you're still his special girl, even if he can't say it to you himself ♡
Anya
Anya would pick the Wolf Pup Stuffed Animal for you!
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Anya would choose a wolf because she was a wolf girl growing up of its pretty silver color and their connection to the moon ♡ One of her favorite activities is looking up at the stars with you, and now you'll have a soft new friend to join you two.
Her special message to you would be
"I'll always love you, starlight."
She would say in her soft and silky voice, using her special pet name for you to make you smile.
"Let's make sure she's squeaky clean, okay?" She would say, helping you brush the plush's fur and give it a pretend bath, rubbing behind its ears for good measure.
She'd ruffle your hair and tell you what a good job you did!
When you get home, she would spray it with her perfume so it even smells like her ♡ I think she would smell like lavender or clean linen :)
Daisuke
Daisuke would pick the Sun Sparkle Teddy Bear for you!
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Daisuke would pick this bear for you because of all the fun colors !!! (And because you said no to his sillier picks... no, you do not want a minions build a bear, Daisuke...)
His special message to you is
"Hi Pookie I just want you to know I think you're like totally the cutest girl ever! And I hope whenever you hug this bear you think of me and that way you won't ever ever have to miss me! And- Oh, the lady is telling me Im running out of ti-"
Even when he isn't trying, Daisuke is always making you laugh.
In fact, when stuffing the bear, he may have tried to overfill it just a tad... It was almost impossible to sew the bear closed.
He would definitely go on a small shopping spree picking out all the outfits your bear will need (Surfing, at the office, fancy dinner, etc. Typical bear activites.) Until you calm him down and pick out just one cute Hawaiian shirt for your new friend to wear :)
Jimmy
Jimmy would pick the Fuzzy Fox Stuffed Animal for you!
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I think he would choose this one because of the muted colors. It's not overly bright and cheery but still cute enough for his little girl. (But not cuter than him, right? ... Right?!)
For his voice message, he would say:
"I love you, baby doll..."
in a low, gravelly voice. He’s embarrassed to say anything, to be honest, doubly so when both you and the worker go "Awww!" at his declaration.
He lets you rub the heart and add it to your new friend.
He would tell you you overstuffed him, now he's fat (He's just teasing)
He's always messing with you and playing with you. When you go to give your new friend a bath, he plays with the plushie while you try to bathe it. "I don't want a bath! Noo, I wanna stay dirty! You're drowning me!" He puts on a funny voice, just for you. You're the only one who can get him to lighten up, smile, and be playful like this, especially when you giggle and desperately try to give your mischievous plushie a pretend bath.
#sorry jimmy is soooo ooc but i wanted to write something cute ok 😤#i also didnt have any good ideas for swansea sorry....#mouthwashing agere#jimmy x reader#curly x reader#anya x reader#daisuke x reader#f/o#fandom#mine#agere imagine#i hope ppl domt mind how i write curly#i tried to write him as close to cannon as possible bc i feel the fandom writes him ooc a lot LOL SORRY#like yes hes very friendly and brave and a good captain but hes also insecure and maybe not super outgoing so i added his shyness ♡!#can u tell curly is my favorite alskzhiawjsnahakznahsh#age regression#age regressor#agere
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oh shit metal stole tails' speak & spell
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#metal sonic#sonic fanart#miles tails prower#ive done nothing but draw metal for like a week straight.#idk man something about him!! can't stop thinking about this robot#ok so technically this is a part of the story that lives in my head where belle and metal keep running into each other#and every time they meet metal has developed a new way to express himself#starting w writing in the dirt. then he steals the speak and spell. then he starts to learn a form of sign language#bc i think communication is an element that's really important to metal's evolution as a character#like. there must be a reason why metal gave himself a voice the one time he tried to evolve past eggman as neo#idk. many thoughts but not enough coherent words to articulate.#robot :)#art#my art#weaverofink
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yes happy new years but more importantly HAPPY FIRST VILLAIN DEKU DAY OF 2024 🙌
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#deku#mha deku#villain deku#villain deku day#villain midoriya izuku#cryiling art#teehee happy vdd#sorry i didn't celebrate it last month </3 I tried making an animatic but it was too hard so I quit#it's hard to tell but yes deku's earring is red 🥰🙏 for his beautiful boyfriend bakugo#theyre not dating yet in this au but deku fs has some type of crush on him#ok one day I need to write out my villain deku au bc .....
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the enemy of my enemy is his cousin who has also tried to murder me on several counts but is still somehow the lesser evil so he is my friend (for like one minute)
#wrestling#wwe#wwe raw#wwe raw on netflix#solo sikoa#roman reigns#kevin owens#the bloodline#wweedit#wrestlingedit#my gifs#i literally started yelling 'DID I WRITE THIS???' as it happened LMAO#people who keep questioning the reason...it was clearly for me#theres like me and 2 other people who care about the solo/ko dynamic all possibly 3 of us won with this so happy for us#solos confused little 'yeah ok!' nod as he tries to gather himself and realize kevin is helping him lmao#besides the obvious 'roman is worse' also consider: ko criticized roman for saying family is important then treating them like trash#whatever this will feed me for such a stupidly long time#and thats all that really matters
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Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4
Cale blinks, eyes bleary. He's being held in Choi Han's arms, tucked close to his chest. Wince. Not only does his head hurt, his body hurts now too.
Being ten is strange. Strange in the way that his body doesn't match his mind anymore. Strange in the way that he feels like a stranger in someone else's home. It reminds him of a memory, older than he is, of when he first walked into the orphanage. Out of place. The kids already there looked at him like he was no different from them, but it was strange to finally be labeled an orphan despite having been without parents for most of his life, now.
The 7 year olds memories tucked away in his mind welcome the 10 year old in. Cale frowns.
A habit from his older years, and younger ones, has him checking his environment before his condition.
"I will go to Duke Fredo." He hears Eruhaben declare to everyone in the room, clearly having a meeting of sorts. Cale is tucked so close to Choi Han that his being awake goes unnoticed. Or, if it is noticed, no one says anything about Cale listening in.
Rosalyn nods. "The White Star is planning something in Cale's absence. We need to find out what that is," somberly, she adds, "Before 'he' decides to do something about it first."
Cale yawns in the middle of her talking, and the buzzing in his ears prevents him from hearing the last part. Duke Fredo... Cale remembers being Naru, for a time. Cookies and the White Star... his head aches. It feels, very accurately, like a long needle is being inserted into his skull and poking around in his brain.
"Cale?" Choi Han squeezes his shoulder. The 10 year old in his arms frowns more at how comfortably he's being held. How long has Choi Han been carrying him? He recalls being carried by Choi Han many times. It makes him recall other things, such as pain and coughing up blood. He assertively stops thinking about it.
The meeting on the other side of the room comes to an end at Cale's emerging consciousness. The eyes on him feel familiar. It reminds him of the pitiful looks he got when he wandered the cold streets in nothing but a school uniform. His memory flickers and it suddenly reminds him again of the team, when they looked at him as the Team Leader.
Though, he can't think of any reason why they're staring at him like that.
Finally, with a twang of pain in his skull, he realizes that they're looking at him with expectation... he doesn't connect the dots that their expressions are that of worry. Was there something he missed? He yawns again, tears coming to his eyes, and he calmly wipes them away before kicking his legs.
"I want down."
Choi Han sets him on the ground, steadying him on his wobbly, sleepy legs. Cale is thinking about the conversation that Eruhanen and Rosalyn just had when hunger pains radiate from his stomach like twisting tendrils.
-Sorry Cale! I took longer to heal your body because of the curse, but it's fixed now!
Clutching his stomach with one hand, he covers his mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the blood in his hand as he coughs wetly. It tastes familiar, beyond the familiarity he had with it at 10, but rather its a lifetime of familiarity that cannot be contained in just the words, 'he tasted blood.' It was a taste he knew better than food or water.
His chest feels better, he notes. His head still hurts, unfortunately, but he shouldn't expect too much.
It also came out of his nose. Gross.
With that underwhelming thought, he keeps the blood carefully cupped in his hand. Uncle hated when he got blood on the-
Uncle is...
Right.
But still... he shouldn't get blood on his Hyung-nim's nice carpet. It's probably... expen... sive.
Noise buzzes around him, someone is touching his shoulder, but he's coughing blood again, again, and again, and it feels awful as his stomach twists and writhes with the hunger and pain that he's felt before, but it makes him ravenous all the same.
Hungry. He could eat anything right now. He remembers the tasteless rock he ate to get Super Rock's Ancient Power. He'd even eat a normal rock.
But still, even in his hunger, he keeps his mouth closed.
He can't bring himself to ask for food.
Not even from Raon. Something in his core, in his gut and his heart and his soul, tells him that he shouldn't ask. How could he take food from Raon? Well, it's Raon's supply of food for Cale anyway, so it's okay. But taking food from a child? But Cale is a child too--
"Human! That's your hungry face! Quickly eat this pie!" Raon cries out and there's suddenly a slightly smashed slice of apple pie in his face. How are there already tears on it...?
He grabs it without thinking hard.
The hunger doesn't care about tears, and soon Cale is stuffing his face with the salty apple pie with a fervor that he, at 10, would normally never have shown to anyone. He eats without chewing with a familiarity that makes him want to cry.
Choi Han's hand shakes on Cale's shoulder.
He should've checked Cale's condition beforehand. He saw that Cale used the ancient powers but still, Cale only got his external wounds treated. Why did he let his happen? He thought that it would be okay this time. Cale was young now and he wasn't showing a response for a long time, so he didn't think. There's no excuse for this.
Cale eats desperately, as if his life depends on it, and Choi Han can't help the way his heart cracks at the sight. And burns with frustration at his own uselessness.
Drip.
The room is quiet.
Drop.
"Human! Do-do you need more apple pie?!" Raon yells, panicking, bringing out more apple pie as Cale's cheeks become wet with silent tears. He reaches for a pie in the air and scarfs it down, uncaring of the sticky fingers covered in sweet apple filling and flaky, crumbling bits of crust.
It tastes like home.
It doesn't taste like Uncles house, or blood, or school hallways or alleys or scraps.
He sobs miserably, wanting to hide. He isn't crying over apple pie, he isn't! From his memories, he definitely shouldn't be crying over this much- it didn't even hurt enough to cry!
Thunder crackles outside the castle. Cale remains hunched over a new slice of apple pie, curling into himself in a very not-Cale like manner.
Another crack of lightning outside.
Eruhaben steps in front of Cale. He brushes Choi Han, frozen in his shock, away from the scene. Raon brings more apple pie out, even as he sees that Cale isn't so much eating the pie as he is holding it.
"Human, I will- I will destroy the world! You can't go into a coma again, I will- I will," Raon's voice cracks. Choi Han gathers himself. He looks at Cale, before calmly standing next to Raon and touching his paw in the air. "Human..."
"Cale," Eruhaben speaks calmly. "Look at me."
Cake shakes his head, fingers trembling. Something's wrong with him, inside of him, and the panic gets to his chest as he starts to take quicker breaths. Cale looks through his memories to fix himself but they blur in a cacophony of sounds and words and frames.
"Cale Henituse, you need to relax. Everything is okay. No one is taking anything from you. Calm down."
They weren't inspirational and comforting words. No, the words could even be considered a little cold, for an adult speaking to what appears to be a 7 year old. But it was necessary for Cale, who was 10 and not 7, and Kim Rok Soo, who was orphaned at a young age and abused and abandoned, and a little boy who went through both child and teenage years without anyone he could call family.
Cale opens his eyes. Were they closed? Eruhaben is in front of him.
Calm down.
Why did Lee Soo Hyuk come to mind when he heard that? A distant, dusty memory falls through his mind, so he picks it up and watches it. The Record plays out.
Something happened like this, once.
It was the only time he came close to crying in front of the Team Leader. Lee Soo Hyuk brought him out of it. The Record, though the reason why he almost cried was somehow forgotten(lost?), always played when he needed to put himself together in a moment of weakness.
Even now. When he is 10 years old in a 7 year olds body. The voice brings back the feeling of calm.
His memories settle.
Right. This is more like him. More like himself.
His face levels out into something neutral.
It feels like an older version of himself, somewhere between 38 and 20, is stroking the top of his head. Cale wonders if hallucinations are part of the curse.
"Good job." Lee Soo Hyuk in the Record and Eruhaben's words overlap for a moment but Cale ignores it.
It takes mental strength to stand straight again, but he manages it with a stiff expression. His hands are a mess, a gross mix of blood and the smushed flesh of what used to be a perfect apple pie.
He's never been more ashamed and embarrassed in his life. Old memories come to mind, reminding him that he's done worse, but the 10 year old in a 7 year olds body feels mortified. If he'd done this in front of his uncle...
"I'm sorry." Cale apologizes. It comes out of his mouth naturally. He has a lot that he could be apologizing for. The floor, which surely has blood and messy apple pie on it now. The pie, which is as ruined as his shirt. The weird hyperventilating thing he did. He recalls his memories. Maybe it wasn't what Lee Soo Hyuk called it, a 'panic attack,' but something different, more sinister.
He convinces himself that it is.
Red flag number 6 it is.
"Cale, you have nothing to be sorry for." Eruhaben states clearly. Cale looks him in the eyes. Strangely, he feels compelled to believe the Ancient Dragon.
.... Red Flag number 7?
Cale backs away on instinct.
Eruhaben sighs.
"Unlucky bas... hah." Standing up from where he had apparently gotten on his knees, Eruhaben waves his hand. The gross feeling on Cale's hands disappears effortlessly, and the stain on his shirt vanishes too. "It'll still be better to wash your hands, at least. Though that doesn't mean you're dirty... it means you were attacked by apple pie." Eruhaben tells him seriously. He lowers himself to his height and makes eye contact. "So it's best to wash it off, just in case some of it is still on you. It could... attack again."
The other people in the room, notably missing Bud and the mage Glenn now, stare at Eruhaben. He pointedly ignores their gazes.
Cale nods.
Eruhaben covers his rising smile.
"Off you go now," he lowers the hand, looking serious again. Struggling, he continues,"... Be careful." Like sending off a soldier, he stands up and looks away from Cale.
Choi Han covers his own face and fights to not laugh.
Somehow, despite the fact that Cale technically has all of his memories, the explanation works for him. He goes into the bathroom, escorted by Ron, who helps wash his hands at the sink. Ron also has him change his clothes, despite their clean appearance.
Ron assures him that it's due to the risk of another apple attack. It could be stuck to the clothes as well. Cale frowns. Ron smiles at the pouting 7 year old.
The 10 year old starts changing his clothes obediently.
Cale's muscles ache and burn. Even his bones hurt.
His head is in so much pain, especially when he focuses, but he draws in his willpower to think very hard about the reason why he might be in this condition.
Cale winces as the needle in his brain digs in deep and drags itself over his frontal lobe, and he visibly shudders, trying not to grimace.
10 year olds are supposed to be bigger than 7 year olds, is the conclusion he comes to.
...
Cale gets chill on the back of his neck.
Surely he isn't going to grow... right? No, no way. If he is, surely he shouldn't be in pain, right? He became 7 years old in a flash and it didn't hurt, so why now?
The pain alleviates for a second. In feels like whatever is causing the pain is given a revelation.
In his undergarments, Cale is enveloped in a white light.
This is...
Definitely red flag number 8.
Definitely, he thinks, suddenly 12 years old in a 12 year olds body. The needle painfully digging into his brain burns and yet feels cold at the same time. It spreads like an infection, and he immediately covers his right eye as it becomes numb with a sharp, icy sensation. Strangely, his hand warms up.
Ron, who innocently retrieved a garment from the crown prince Alberu's younger days, drops it. The assassins hands, which never tremble, shake more than they would if Cale had been an adult. Seeing a newly 12 Cale bleeding from his eye...
Blood seeps through the gap between Cale's hand and his face, which is now suddenly 12 years old.
Cale-- Ron realizes as he calls, as calmly as he can, for the ancient dragon and rushes in a not-so-calm manner to the young masters side-- has yet to realize that his eye is gushing blood. The 12 year old looks at Ron, confused.
Ron's expression is stiff.
"Ron?" Cale asks.
Eruhaben enters the room alongside Raon and Choi Han, but Ron focuses on relaxing his expression, and carefully holding Cale's hand to his eye, keeping it there so he doesn't remove it.
"Young Master... Do you remember the song, Dark Night Moon Light?"
Cale frowns. His head hurts.
"No." He says honestly. Why is everyone in here all of a sudden? Cale was barely dressed in some now too-small shorts. It's cold, he thinks through the pain.
"Then I will remind you, Young Master. It's a children's song that parents or butlers like me sing at a child's bedside. The child will close their eyes and listen to the song. Would you allow this butler to sing it to you?"
All of a sudden?
Cale feels uncomfortable, but his head hurts so much that he can't think about it a lot, so he closes his eyes.
Ron sings, in his calm and low voice, a common children's melody. He himself had once sung it for Beacrox, a long time ago.
It's supposed to help children who find themselves terrified of the dark. As far as Ron knows, Cale was never been so afraid of the dark to have this song sung to him... but, he understands with a bitter heart, even if he had been scared, the song would've been sung by his mother. Not his father, who was too sucked in by his grief after her passing.
He realizes that Cale, being 12 now, must no longer have the memories of his mother singing to him.
Eruhaben has Ron carefully remove Cale's hand, which had been pooling blood inside, spilling onto the floor.
Branded under his eye, looking like a burn in the soft and thin skin, is a number.
'12'
Eruhaben waves away the blood.
"Young Master, open your eyes now. The song is over." Ron doesn't react to the number, and when Cale opens his eyes, hides his relief that his eye is not damaged. Just bleeding. "Do you know how old you are now?" Though, Ron had a strong suspicion that they already knew.
"... 12, I think."
"Cale, you've been fighting off the curse, haven't you?" Eruhaben asks. It feels angry. Cale shrinks in on himself.
"It's fine, isn't it? It's better if I'm older."
He won't cry anymore. He can bathe again, since he can now handle the phantom sensations of blood and scars and dirt. He won't ignorantly use his ancient powers. Off the top of his head, there are more reasons that he should be older than there are reasons to go back to being young.
He is a better slacker when he isn't being whiny and childish.
"... Cale-nim." Choi Han groans.
"You knew that you were fighting off the curse, right?" Eruhaben asks again, but it's calculating.
"... Yes," but how could he not? He could always feel when he grew older, smarter. Not to mention the cracking like pain of his skull being hammered in, worse and worse as he ages. Even now, he can only tell the honest and not altered truth, simply because he is in too much pain.
Choi Han wants to ask. 'Is it because you don't trust us?'
But he holds his tongue.
Eruhaben sighs. He nods at Ron.
"Get dressed." Eruhaben rubs the top of Cales red hair, leaving him frazzled, before leaving the room. Choi Han clutches his sword and restrains his rampant emotions.
"You aren't in trouble human! The great and mighty Raon will help you become a child again!" Raon flies around Cale. Ron, observing Choi Han and Raon, leaves to rob the crown prince of more clothes.
Sigh. Cale shivers.
His head hurts.
#hello I have finally!!! finished part 4!!!#lout of the count’s family#trash of the counts family#trash of the duke's family#lotcf#totcf#lcf#tcf#Cale Henituse#Choi Han#Eruhaben#Raon#Ron Molan#ok that's probably enough. I got another one out!!! everyone's definitely forgotten that I wrote it by now but I finally brought myself to#continue. it's difficult to continue smth u haven't touched in years. especially when ur conflicted on if it's bad or not. nd when ur style#now is very different from before. I tried my best to imitate my own style which was funny. while also mimicking lcf. I did my best!#I will now clarify the emotions of Eruhaben at the end. he's not angry w Cale he's angry at himself for not being proactive enough#it's only been a few hours since Cale turned into a kid. he thought he had more time. but Cale is CaleTM sooooo#or has it... I don't actually remember...?#also!!! sorry for the angst!!! I had to do it since Cale used his AP and I forgot to put consequences in the last ch. had to compensate#comfort in the next chapter... probably... as Cale gets older he gets Sadder so I can't help the urge to Angst#now my plan is to Reverse the age and make him be tiny and cute again#stop FIGHTING ME Cale just accept the comfort. dont grow up so fast. hes out of control#who turned my comfort fic into hurt/comfort#fic writing#fanfiction#not a reblog#fic idea
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i need to talk about this line here for a second, because it's an attack on me personally. but not the english translation of it, no, it's the og thai line that really gets to me. because he says:
มันโอเคนะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]
he specifically uses the term มีความรัก which is more like "to be in love". which means rather than "it's okay to love", this line is more accurately translated as:
It's okay to be in love.
and as someone who really really really struggles with self-acceptance for my own romantic feelings for others, this distinction is really important to me. i can deal with loving others. i love my family. i love my best friend (you really don't go here but hiiii @magsimags i love youuuu 😘 (i know you're rolling your eyes reading this as usual)(i don't care)(i love you)). i love my other close friend. i love my summer camp gang. i love my friend that style reminds me of. i love each and every single one of the friends i've made in this fandom over the past few years (you know who you are 💖). i KNOW it's okay to love. i do it all the time. loudly. as evidenced by the fact that i just HAD to tag my best friend in this post to publically tell her i love her even though she really doesn't care about my thai blorbos, just because i really couldn't NOT tag her to tell her i love her. anyway. i can love. loving is fine.
but to be in love??? that's a whole different story. having (in my case romantic) feelings for someone feels like a heavy burden. it feels humiliating. i hate it. i don't want it. it stresses me out. and the person i have feelings for especially can't ever know about it. see, i will talk about my crushes/romantic feelings, but mostly to family and friends (the better they know the person i have feelings for, the harder it gets for me to admit to it), and even then the word "be in love" won't ever come out of my mouth in my native language. in english it's easier, but in my native language i just can't say it. it feels heavy. it makes me cringe. being in love is horrible.
so when style said "it's okay to be in love" specifically? that was a punch to my gut. because this is a truth i have not yet managed to accept for myself. and if the person i had feelings for specifically told me "it's okay to be in love" so firmly and so earnestly? yeah, i would crumble too
#some lore about me i guess#the heart killers#stylefadel#fadelstyle#thk ep4#thk#airenyah explains thai#adrm#holy fuck writing this post i just realized something:#loving someone (lieben) is something i ACTIVELY do#but being in love (verliebt sein) is something that just HAPPENS to me. i have less control over it#maybe THAT'S what's stressing me out about it#ooooof i need to sit on this. maybe have a Serious Conversation™ about it with my mom or a friend#anyway coming back to thk:#i think style phrasing it specifically as ''to be in love'' rather than ''to love'' is a distinction that is important for fadel too#esp when looking at it from a ''loving is sth you actively do while being in love just happens to you''#we know that fadel's life is planned out to the tiniest detail and we know he likes to have control over things#but his developing feelings for style is something he CAN'T control no matter how hard he's tried and it freaks him out. it scares him#style is telling him that it's ok to let go. it's ok NOT to be in control for once. it's ok to allow things to take their course naturally#it doesn't have to be a bad thing#i'm about to cry bc i'm saying words that i desperately need to internalize myself
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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hear me out. au where hap never dies n becomes a father figure to all the kids
#i actually had this in mind for ages n i really wish i can write to make this#brooklynn is very obviously his favorite btw#ben and kenji coming close second but the tension between him and ben never leaves. their relationship is all about mutual respect#sammy always tries to get hap to laugh#they need a protector ok??#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwcc#kenji kon#ben pincus#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#brooklynn jwcc#darius bowman#hap jwcc
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An absolutely foolproof fic idea: two faves talk to each other.
#XD#nah seriously I should write this#ok more like 1 talks 2 tries to get him to shut up at least#the problem of publis spaces being well public#you go to the part to watch some cool snakes and there's a guy talking weird stuff to you#yot problems
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it feels so…… weird… seeing a cishet dude be so chill with queer themes lmao your soda-in-drag moment, the stevepop of it all, even guys with queers in their friend circles can’t bring themselves to partake sometimes lmao 😭 but it’s cool !! refreshing even sjksksndks this is a /pos statement I promise
Thanks lol! I think it’s cos I’m fairly secure. Sorta. (I’m still prone to compensating for things and being a stupid teen boy, but like, I’m aware of it, at least when I stop to think. Yk I’ll still join in on dick measuring contests, but deep down I’ll know it’s dumb and performative.)
I guess I feel a kinship to queerness. I go to art school where I’m sometimes the only guy in a class of girls, and I’ve been the token straight guy in every friend group I’ve been in since freshman year of high school. Beyond that, growing up I was frequently mistook for a girl- I had long-ish hair (post bowl-cut era 😭) and I’m part Asian, I was pretty androgynous lol. People irl have thought I’m gay, or a trans man on testosterone (I mean fine, I guess I am pretty short and hang with a lot of trans guys.) Hell, I did drag on a dare once, back when I was even more secure. (And I was hot asf in drag lemme tell ya. It felt lousy and it’s definitely not my thing, but man if I had a clone who was a girl-) All this to say, I say I’m straight, but honestly I don’t really know. I like girls a lot, but I have seen a buddy of mine in drag, and lemme tell ya I felt something but I’m not gonna examine that rn lol. Straight just feels comfortable, safe, and it’s good for interacting with folks who ain’t so progressive, so it’s what I’m sticking with…but I’ll admit there’s a gray area.
I relate a lot to the guys in the Outsiders, and irl I like to present myself as a tough, cool, Very Masculine guy. Hell, sometimes I play dumb about stuff because it’s “feminine” and a guy like me shouldn’t know about it. I act a lot like how I write Steve Randle, he’s my guy I like to project on lol. Honestly, I’ve got a fair amount of internalized toxic masculinity. But I think because I know how silly it all is deep down, I can interact with queer themes in art without feeling like I’m not “man enough”. Idk, I suppose it’s an outlet in some ways. Who knows maybe in 2027 I’ll come out as bi or something, but don’t wait up.
idk, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like exploring queer themes, not because they’re queer necessarily, but because they’re human and I relate to them. And that’s hard not to partake in, y’know?
#rambling#ask#personal stuff#idk if all that’s like…ok for me to say and all but like…it’s just how I see the world at this point yk?#idk if you’ve seen derry girls but the character james maguire is me fr lol#(well i think I’m tougher than him but yk. he’s a guy who’s only friends are girls/queer people)#I worry sometimes about representing things poorly…#but like ig it’s not about representation to me. It’s not about anything. It’s just…expression i reckon#lord I dunno if I’m explaining this very well#For the record I find it interesting that I’m so chill too. There’s definitely a part of my brain that’s confused about that#like- I can’t wear a pink shirt cos that’s girly but I CAN try on heels because I’m bored???#I won’t pierce my ears even tho I wanna cos that’s “feminine” but I’ll write a 40k word fanfic about stevepop?? where’s the consistency??#I have to be the strongest in the room or I get pissy…but I want a girl to hold me?? that doesn’t make sense!#why am I a walking contradiction??#For all I’ve tried to explain it here at the end of the day idk why I am the way I am#I just…am. I wish it made sense but it doesn’t and I guess I gotta live with that lol.#talking about myself#srry ik this is long#ig it’s something I’ve avoided thinking abt much but now that you bring it up I’m…thinking. A lot.#(that’s a /pos thing I like thinking) (usually)
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my new OC: cempaka!
she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)
also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)
bonus first iteration under the cut!
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i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3
#my art#original character#oc#oc art#art#im in love with her actually#she has 4 brothers all named after flowers#mawar kekwa orkid and melati#not me using google translate literally on the fly i hope im not being culturally insensitive 😭#but anyway they lost their parents at a young age so she was raised by her brothers#shes the youngest by far tho by like 9 years from her next closest brother#mawar is the oldest hes like 40 a very important Leader Of People so he is not very present in her life#kekwa is a doctor and 38 and he travels often for work so he is also not very present but he visits sometimes#orkid and melati are twins theyre both 30#orkid is a scholar and on track to being a professor at a prestigious uni#melati is traveling the world doing soul searching#cempaka is 21 she is literally a baby and her brothers send her back money but shes mostly alone#so she joins a traveling dance troupe and she gets really good at dancing#she meets indra while on the road dancing and performing and she is SMITTEN#like shes just head over heels in love with this man because hes so warm and inviting and he fills a void in her life#he makes her feel so incredibly seen and not alone and the feeling is addicting she cant get enough#ok idk most of the details bc i havent read haydars full story BUT#basically to my understanding yuwei and indra are separated for a while#and cempaka knows up front that indra is in love with yuwei like hes very honest with her about this and she appreciates it#but she still wants a chance because indras the only person in the world that has ever made her feel truly seen and loved#so she tries to be with him to ease her loneliness but it breaks her heart whenever he misses yuwei openly#also AGAIN listen im trying to basically write fanfic for a story that doesnt exist LOLL#HAYDAR IF YOURE READING THIS PLS WRITE UR STORY LMFAO
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I don't feel pain I never escape I'm under the bed I'm licking the floor
#mysmes#mystic messenger#mysme#mysme unknown#mysme saeran#saeran choi#mine#*24#art#unknown#this song is literally called weakling. sooo saeran coded.#half of this was just me trying to get the skin indents from gripping his bicep right. and its still not that good but i tried#whatever i miss this cunt.this fucker was everything to me in 2016-2018 you dont understand. teenage me 🫂 saeran#dont talk to me abt his route i have many conlicting feelings abt it. but i will say his overall portrayal was better in v's route than his#except near the end but even the conclusion to that was like. hm. he just wakes up and is fine. ok.#also why the split personality. bpd saeran was amazing that was even his VA's hc for him in SE. ok i said i wasnt gonna talk abt it IM NOT#... i just think they made him a less interesting ch in his route by splitting him up to a 'good'/'bad' side. like ray WAS manipulative#he's complex! he has a skewed world view + morals and a fucked up sense of self and major black and white thinking#ohh my god im not doing this again im not writing a dissertion in tumblr tags again. its an otome game with a nonsensical timeline
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HOT DOCTOR HOT DOCTOR HOT DOCTOR HOT DOCTOR
#Was at my desk doing data entry when out of the office next to me walks a man who’s so tall so beautiful so gorgeous I am in shambles#My head literally TURNED I had to refocus on what the girl was instructing me to do w the stuff I was working on#I literally tried to see if he had a ring on his way back to his office but this man walks FAST . He walks so fast#I had to write this and get it out of my system bc I’m literally filling important patient information rn#Whoever this man is he has beautiful hair . And a lean stature. And a beautiful prefix (doctor)#Omg and his facial hair is perfect it’s so over for me#I can’t be over here obsessing over him every day OK expunging the thought NOW#I needed (in the past tense bc we don’t identify w these thought patterns) him to rail me ok I’m done for real goodbye
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one thing that keeps happening when I write otayuri is Otabek: well behaved, does as he's told, stays in his lane, only speaks when spoken to, doesn't derail dialogue with banter (unless provoked), actually more flexible than Yuri (characterization-wise, not physically), very versatile, truly can - and will - do it all Yuri: a menace. an unpredictable force of nature. will start shit, all the time, unprovoked. does whatever the fuck he wants. will derail dialogue as if it's an olympic sport. will not shut up (or will refuse to speak to anyone, there is no in between). can turn any plot into a trainwreck and is probably proud of it. 'oh cute outline you got there, would be such a shame if someone blew it to pieces...' -> distant sound of wordcount exploding (context: I spent all day yesterday working on one of my WIPs and the second I typed " for Yuri to start speaking the entire fucking scene went completely off the rails which was admittedly a ton of fun but also WE ARE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE LIKE THIS YURA FOR FUCKS SAKE PLS I AM BEGGING YOU JUST PLAY ALONG FOR ONCE AND LET ME FINISH THE CHAPTER OH MY GOD
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do you ever think about the fact that han mi was *at most* 13 when her mom was killed?
do you ever think about the fact that there's a non-zero chance han got her first period while hiding with her parents, given her general age range was the average time people first start menstruating?
do you ever think about the fact that, if she did get her first period, her parents likely wouldn't have enough resources to help her through it? They wouldn't have been expecting her to get it, not like how han's mother would have (probably) prepared enough supplies for herself.
do you ever think about the fact han mi's mother died buying tampons?
do you think she blames herself?
#teenage han mi after her uncle sold her off presumably completely on her own struggling with grief and guilt Every. Single. Period.#han mi#shaperaverse#also since I apparently can’t write angst with adding some fluff to it: postie han at the carnival*#learning how to trust raven while he learns to take care of her#lloyd desperately trying to remember what asha and michael had told him about periods. failing. so he just tries to act normal#(Well. normal for Lloyd Allen) which han appreciates when she wants to take her mind off of it. not that she’d tell him how much she enjoys#the chess matches they have while she’s curled up on the couch and his puppet body is propped up against the table#jill would absolutely do all sorts of magic-y… things. lots of things. distractions healing spells conjuring food literally anything#and you just KNOW marjolein would be the best older sister/aunt/cousin/??? however you describe them han could have#actually not aunt asha’s the best aunt#and not cousin that’s kate#ok so marjo’s the best older sister. boom there ya go!#I fear I can’t go into detail about marjolein and han mi because I LOVE THEM. SO MUCH. Need them to interact please paul please.#* asterisk there bc in my headcanon posties don’t experience regular menstrual cycles lol. bc they don’t get pregnant as much iirc#my hc is that they just have slower cycles but again. headcanon lol. which tbf almost this entire post is lmao
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