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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

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Not a request, just because I was bored and putting off all my homework lol. Reader is gender neutral! I also might do this for some other characters too 👀

TW: small mention of suicide (its Dazai) but nothing graphic is mentioned

Jealousy Headcanons with: Dazai and Kunikida

Dazai

Dazai doesn’t get jealous

Or at least that what he tells himself

He could get anyone that he wanted, no problem. I mean, hello??? Have you seen this man???

Not to mention how much of a natural flirt he is himself

So why does he feel himself getting livid with this stranger taking up your time?

Now, Dazai was not an insecure man, by any means. But he couldn’t help but feel his stomach churn when he saw you smiling back at this person. A smile that he wants reserved for him and only him

You guys weren’t together yet, but he will make sure that people know that you are off limits. You may not take his advances as genuine, but his feelings for you are and he can easily prove that to you. You’re his and he’s yours; it wasn’t official per say, but he’s only giving his time and affection towards you

It seemed like he was vying for your attention, but he knew that he could easily turn the whole situation on its head. They may think that they’re in control, but Dazai can show just how wrong they really are

Flustering you in front of the individual would be one of his best (and favorite) methods to use. Seeing how embarrassed and bashful you would get while the other person would just be ignored was a good feeling; and usually that would be the sign that they should go elsewhere

If that didn’t work, trying to leave the scene did: “(Naaaammmme), this is the perfect time to commit double suicide with me! Being the last lovely sight that I lay my eyes on would be more than just a dying wish.” “Belladonna, the stars are beautiful during this time, why don’t we go see for ourselves?” “This place is boring, let’s go somewhere else where we can really have fun, no interruptions.”

While he wasn’t the same man as he was from his past, that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t find ways to solve this little problem. He just won’t be messy. He’s turned over a new leaf, and he rather not get anymore blood on his hands if he doesn’t have to

He just has to get a bit creative with his words and his methods; no violence necessary!

Unless the other person was making you uncomfortable (God forbid hurting you) and not taking the hint that you were his, but let’s just hope that it never comes to that

Dazai didn’t want to lose you period, and he will be damned before he loses you to someone else that he doesn’t even see as a threat. Eventually very soon though, he’ll lose his patience, so don’t keep brushing him off or seem like you’re interested with someone that’s not him. He’ll be forced to take action, so be careful

Don’t worry though, he won’t be hurting anyone! Not controlling either, just...possessive. Very possessive, atleast for a couple of days.

Not that either one of you would be complaining

Kunikida

He’s a busy man, he doesn’t have time to get jealous! Besides, according to his notebook you don’t have-

Who is that? And why are they giving you flowers? And candy? And they’re even giving you a kiss on the cheek?! You never said that you were dating someone! How could someone take you from him!-

Sir that’s not even their boyfriend it’s just an older cousin who came as a surprise visit

Kunikida has fallen for you, and hard, and that scares him. Yes, you’re a great coworker, one that he can always depend on. And yes, you always bring a small smile to his face whenever you greet him in the mornings. And yes, you became a part of the day that he is always looking forward to (even wrote your planned interactions in his notebook) every day. But...you didn’t meet all 58 of his ideals

Could you really be his ideal partner when you barely met any of the conditions? Would he be prepared to give you his everything if you were?

Which he already knew the answer to: YES

So he tried to put his feelings aside and strictly focus on work (not that he already wasn’t, of course). But damn it, was it hard to conceal his true emotions when he had to see people that weren’t him making you happy. And it seemed that others took notice of his more than sour mood too. It was miserable to see more than anything

So being the best partner that he is (and that the answer is so obvious), Dazai pulled him to the side and calmly explained to him what he was feeling...

SIKE this is Dazai we’re talking about. While he did want to help his dear friend out, he wanted this to be entertaining.

Give it up for Dazai always trolling this man and Kunikida falling for it everytime lmao

Kunikida didn’t believe it was jealously at first, and he refused to accept it. But, it kept appearing more and more to the point where he had no choice but to come to terms. And it explained so much, he hated to say

Unknowingly glaring at whoever was diverting your attention, grinding his teeth whenever he would hear you laughing and knowing that it wasn’t him causing it, even snapping one time at a possible suitor when he overheard the conversation between you

“If you actually listened to (Name) then you would know that they already answered that question earlier. But no, you’re too busy focusing on their looks to understand what they’re saying! Maybe if you didn’t let your damn mind wander to the gutter so much you could appreciate the time that they’re willing to spend with you when they can be spending it with me!”

He won’t ever live that down

He would try to gift you things that he knows that you would enjoy (and he didn’t even have to look in his book, that’s how much he remembers), but it would somehow backfire

“Thank you Kunikida for this but...were you hungry?”

“No. Why are you asking? If you’re offering to share it, I rather not. I got those just for you-“

“It’s empty.”

“...”

“RANPO!”

He would be the gentleman more than he already was, but you just saw it as him being nice and trying to stay in like with his beliefs. He even asked you straightforward on a date, but you said that you already had plans

With the look on his face you would’ve thought that you burned his precious notebook right in front of him and you and Dazai were roasting marshmallows above it

Kunikida could be controlling, but only because he’s so used to running on schedule and being a leader. But he would try his best not to come off as that to you outside of work; he wants you guys to be happy together in a healthy relationship. He’ll make mistakes but he’s truly trying, be patient. He really does want to be with you and he’s here to show that

So after collecting mountains and mountains of data on how to approach this unique situation, he came to only one outcome: to confess. He was nervous, his stomach doing multiple flips, but he will go through with it

Now, he’s on a mission: to both try to overcome the struggle of accepting that you weren’t the ideal romantic ideal according to his notebook, and to reveal that you are the ideal romantic partner for him

He couldn’t take this ugly feeling anymore, and while he stood by his ideals, he wanted to stand by your side too

Plus if he got tempted to use his ability on one more person that tried to hit on you he was gonna snap

#bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd reader insert #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bsd kunikida #kunikida x reader #bsd kunikida x reader

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a-deed-without-a-name · 3 years ago

Note

Can you tell us about the AU in (I feel bad but I forgot the name of the fic, it was the one with Gabriel as a feeder for Sam) because I keep thinking about it- there was a lot of neat stuff there. Do you ever intend on fleshing it out?

The Gravity of Tempered Grace! Don't feel bad about forgetting the name. I forgot it, too.

I am thrilled by this ask. Utterly thrilled. There is a lot of world-building surrounding this particular fic that I wound up leaving out so it wouldn’t get too messy, which I believe I mentioned in the note at the beginning.

I’ve told people before my real kink is worldbuilding/headcanon, and they think I’m joking, but I am absolutely not.

I’m not sure I’ll ever flesh this AU out, but I can sure as shit dump the bits and pieces of the universe I remember here!

This is a “most monsters/magic are public and mundane”-type universe, which is how Gabriel and Castiel are dating people, renting apartments, and working normal jobs with their wings out all the time. No real triggering “everybody found out” event, this is just the way things have always been and society reflects that. Most species, humans included, are able to live comfortably with each other. Negative stereotypes and stigmas exist, but resources do exist for those beings who need to feed on each other

Sam works for the Men of Letters, which is a public, overarching government institution in this universe. Kind of a cross between the FBI, CDC, and a few other agencies. His official job title is Occult Researcher, which means that he studies and refines magic. He specializes in curses and everything surrounding them. He’s mostly home office, but has traveled before to assist field teams.

Sam is a cambion. The term can mean somebody with one human parent and one demonic, but that’s so rare nowadays the definition’s fallen out of use, and it mostly just means a human tainted with infernal magic, usually as a child. It’s rare, but not impossible, and usually happens by accident or opportunity. In Sam’s case, it happened because his mother made a deal with a demon and it tried to claim him (y’know, like...in canon). Sam and Dean are both aware of this.

There are negative stereotypes surrounding cambions, and corresponding legislation meant to prevent discrimination. The Men of Letters, however, consider them highly employable in certain roles, because they tend to have latent psychic and/or magical powers, they’ve got a high tolerance when it comes to curses and infernal magic, and while the demonic taint is a pain in the ass, there are easy workarounds. Sam is offended by any implications he got his job because of the blood in his veins rather than on his merits.

Yes, an angel dating a cambion is unusual. Sam and Gabriel have heard all the jokes. At this point in their relationship, it’s a fact that barely registers anymore.

Modern angels’ ancestors originally immigrated from Heaven. They were divine beings, but generations on Earth has rendered them mostly mortal. A few hallmarks remain: their wings, their divine magical abilities, the fact they don’t need to eat and rarely need to sleep, their psychic connection with all members of their species, the angel blades some are born with, and their communal social behavior. Some angels do still have extradimensional forms, but they’re basically vestigial by this point, and the aspects (extra eyes, flaming haloes, mandorlas) tend to only appear in moments of intense emotion. It’s seen as an embarrassing thing, like blushing or crying when you argue.

Gabriel is a lesser archangel. Castes/breeds used to mean a lot more in his species past, and a lot of angels are still defined behaviorally by their caste (Castiel is). For Gabriel, this basically means only that he has four wings instead of the standard two or the higher-archangel six, that he’s highly powerful in terms of magic, and he’s looking at a lifespan of at least a thousand years.

Many angels still flock, or live in large groups (garrisons, choirs). Even those that don’t, like Castiel and Gabriel, have a communal social mindset, which is a large part of the reason they’re compatible with Sam and Dean: they don’t think it’s weird to spend as much time with your brother as the two of them do, even when you’re adults and live separately. Most flocks have adjusted and integrated well into modern society. Some, however, prefer to live on their own and remain “pure,” and subscribe to outdated ideologies and practices involving the “holiness” of angels. These groups have rigid rules, harshly punish disobedience, strictly isolate their members, and are usually ruled over by a single patriarch. Cults, they’re cults.

Gabriel and Castiel are distant relatives. They were raised in a cultic angel community. Gabriel, who’s older and more powerful, left and took Castiel with him.

Sam and Dean were still raised as hunters in this universe, but because of the way that society and the legal system in general is set up here, their dad was basically the equivalent of a serial killer. He was arrested when they were teenagers. Sam is no longer in contact with him. Dean is low-contact, which Sam isn’t aware of but Castiel is.

Castiel is a beat cop. This is almost a stereotypical job for a seraph, between the advantage of flight, the built-in weapon, the fact they’re a “soldier” caste; the only way he could lean harder into it is if he’d joined the military (which he would have if Gabriel hadn’t talked him out of it).

Dean is in the construction and home improvement industry. Specifically, he’s a warder, which is the blue-collar equivalent of Sam’s job. He puts runic, magical, and mundane protections on homes and other buildings. Some things come standard, but the more you want to be protected from and the rarer it is, the higher the price.

Dean was actually the one to introduce Sam to Gabriel. He was a regular at his bakery and knew him tangentially (though he thought he was obnoxious), and had a meet-cute with Castiel involving doughnuts one morning. When they were serious enough to meet each other’s families, that was when Sam and Gabriel were finally introduced.

There’s probably...more? But I’m gonna let it go for now because holy fuuuuck did I overdo it lmao.

#ask #weight gain #headcanon #worldbuilding #sabriel #destiel #by bits and pieces i mean 1000+ words #rip to anyone who keeps reading under the cut

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senju-sekhmet · 4 years ago

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The Leash (Part 7)

Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death ~5300 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Previous: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6 Read on AO3! Disclaimer below the cut! (I updated it actually this time, lmfao)

DISCLAIMER! I’ve split the chapters of as some of them were too long (the last one being +18k, oopz), therefore this comes a little bit shorter than usual! But each of them still should contain a meaningful amount of progress in terms of, y’know. Plot and all. But! It should make posting the chapters more frequently a bit easier. More angst and science here! Other than that: enjoy my very self indulgent work, filled with my own headcanons and angst galore. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!! ______ Tobirama couldn’t believe what you had just said. So much so he fell silent after his incredulous outbreak - prompting you to repeat your eerily calm statement. “You need more time. Stretching the intervals will do just that.” His hand on your shoulder gripped it tighter as the message had settled in, slowly, but he retorted before he had comprehend it, really. “Absolutely not!”

You closed your eyes slowly. “Tobirama…”

Your calmness was unnerving him additionally. “Do you even realise what you’re saying?!”, his voice had risen in volume.

Your eyes snapped open again. Your stare was boring into his, the cold hand that had been caressing him fell limply to your chest. “I’m the one who is going to suffer, so I’d say yes,” you stated.

Tobirama’s heart was hammering in his chest again. But this time, it was from fury - the worry from before was shadowed by it easily. The things you were saying - outrageous. “The withdrawal is lethal! I will not allow this, Y/n!”, he was almost shouting now. Hell, were you losing your mind?

Your mien hardened. “It is not lethal right away. The decision to shorten the interval because of potential harms was made by an assumption we have no hard proof of,” you countered somberly. "Maybe it can be stretched."

Tobirama drew his hands back to cross them in front of his chest, causing you to wince as your chakra connection abruptly ended. He merely hissed curtly, but the ire had his chakra swelling already - such a connection would be dangerous to your delicate state now. Besides, it made arguing a lot easier. “We have very good reason to believe stretching the interval is dangerous,” he began, his baritone voice near trembling again. He still couldn’t believe you were even talking about this. “And you are in absolutely no state to take on even more strain, at all,” the sternness was becoming scathing.

You laid completely still in the bed. His attitude was bouncing off of your stoic demeanour like water on oiled leather still. “Then I’ll need more support. There are ways to do that until the withdrawal becomes too detrimental to my health, then I get the next dose.”

You made it sound so easy. So simple. Like nothing was at stake here.

Tobirama’s expression fell apart more and more. He could only gaze at you in utter horror. “You’ll suffer miserably, Y/n,” his voice was cracking. Whether it was from fury or shock, he didn’t know anymore. Unable to sit still anymore, he jumped to his feet to stand by your side. “We don't know at all if there aren't more ways in which the withdrawal will harm you! Even if we get you through those prolonged withdrawal phases - which we will not be having - there is no saying what effects it will have on you - what if you’re taking permanent damage?” He’d never forgive himself if that were to happen - if you became impaired because he did not administer this godforsaken leash on time.

If you died because of a gamble. He was trembling now.

You gasped almost inaudibly, your facade cracking finally. A wrinkle on your forehead. Tobirama huffed. Just as quickly though, you found your proverbial balance again. “I’d rather become handicapped than dead, Tobirama.”

The statement hit close to home. Only momentarily though for his anger bristled even harsher in return for it. Proceeding like this might just as well kill you, after all. “You’re expecting me to let you undergo additional, intense torment, risk permanent injury, possibly even killing you!”, he intended to make it a question, but as he listed these things, he was almost shouting again. His hands gesticulated out of sheer frustration - every fiber of himself refused even entertaining this idea more; even discussing this was so revulsive he thought he’d stumble over his words until all he’d bring out was ‘no’. “I won’t allow this.” His eyes narrowed as he stared you down, crossing his arms firmly in front of his chest. “We are not doing that.”

Your gaze narrowed in turn. Again, you started to move again to sit up in the bed, each arm by your side hefting your chest up - get closer to eye level with him. Tobirama scowled and took a step closer to your side. “Y/n!”, he couldn’t believe it - just a short while ago he had berated you on resting, and already, you were moving again - plus, you obviously weren’t letting this foolish, foolish idea go-

“Tobirama,” your voice was clouded with fury of your own now. He placed a hand on your shoulder that already wanted to shove you back onto the bed again, but it rested for now. “I know that,” you panted, hissing past clenched teeth. “But you forget that all of that won’t matter if I die because there’s none of that damn leash left!”, your voice rose to a shout, hoarse as your vocal chords still reeled from the abuse.

He stared back at you for a moment only, his vision tunneling. The fury was burning under his skin. Each and every single aspect of this proposal was just plain wrong-

“Lie down again,” he hissed strictly, mustering every bit of his control to not shout back at you. Or simply shove you down. Or use more unkind words.

“I will not,” but before Tobirama could shout back at you, your frail hand had gripped his wrist. He felt the tremble in your body from the extortion of sitting up - he knew this must cause you pain, too. But you didn’t give him a chance to speak or start berating you, “Stretching the interval is going to give you - me - us - more desperately needed time, Tobirama. Time is all that matters now!”

He stared right into your eyes which he was positive were glistening now. Distantly, he became aware again of the fact how his heart was still hammering against his ribcage.

“Even if it’s just twenty-four hours, maybe thirty-six,” you finally whispered, letting go of his hand and sinking back on the bed, panting. The little endeavour had visibly cost you quite some energy - but then by now, the delirium phase would start again soon. It was hailed by the weakness. “Think about that logically for a damn second, please,” you breathed.

Tobirama felt the heartache constrict his chest again. Desperately he began to take deep breaths against the feeling, raking a hand over his scalp. Unable to stand still any longer, he turned around. Pacing in front of the end of your bed, his mind was racing while the emotions were surging. He couldn’t possibly allow this. It was foolish, it was unspeakably dangerous for you - and there was no telling if they could extend the interval by a meaningful margin. He’d agree to a terrible amount of agony for you, risk handicapping you - for what?

Time. The reason was time. The one thing he needed. Well, despite the solution to the mystery of the leash. But time would answer that one just as well.

It was a gamble with the highest stake: you. But you were on the line, either way. Either he took the five days he had left and worked nonstop. Or he took this risk, this ridiculously perilous risk, he forced you through a new dimension of hell - and he gained more time.

He was confident in his skills - but never so arrogant to look in the mirror and think a day - or more - would not matter in cracking the leash. Because they would. Greatly. Maybe not enough to even the odds. But every day you endured longer - he absolutely loathed himself for how logical the whole situation seemed.

Tobirama was seething with rage. Rage about the situation. Your proposal. What this meant for you. Your stubbornness. “Dammit,” he muttered near silently.

Your eyes were on him with a sad look when he gazed back at you, both hands gripping the foot end of the bed. His knuckles turned white. “I don’t want to do this,” he breathed, desperation seeping into his voice, jaw taunt again.

You blinked, a sorrowful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “I don’t either, Tobirama,” you whispered, haunted.

He clenched his teeth. He wanted to say there had to be another way - but he knew, there was none. By all means, if he knew one thing despairingly clear now, unravelling the leash was a staggering task, even for him.

He swallowed the lump down his throat. His head hung low. This was another defeat. “I’ll speak to Hashirama about this,” he finally muttered brokenly, aware of what waited for you next - medically - would well exceed his skills. It wasn’t about mending some damages you had suffered - no, this would be about keeping you stable. Alive. Not that he had the time to supervise you as much as you’d need to, now. Another fact that didn’t sit well with him at all. Not only were you going to very likely be in a critical condition, but he also couldn’t be there all the way through, for every bitter second of it.

He looked back up at you, furrowing his eyebrows forlornly.

“Tobirama,” you called out then, softly. Your hand waved him over, he obliged, slumping down by your side again, still gazing down sadly.

Your hand reached for his and he couldn’t help but notice the fine tremor that shook your arm. It would get so much worse from now on. He took it in both of his, a palm running over your forearm soothingly.

His eye widened slightly when he felt the faintest nudge at his chakra network - you were trying to soothe over his like he had done so often these past few days. The gesture was incredibly touching on the one hand and on the other it was heartbreaking. He closed his eyes and groaned faintly to ease the ache somehow, letting his chakra graze over your network. A chill sensation on his cheek prompted him to open his eyes again. You were caressing his cheek again.

“It’ll be fine, Tobirama,” you whispered.

No, it won’t be. He didn’t respond.

Your mien became more sorrowful again. “Tobi,” you began, the nickname warming his heart like few things could. “Promise me you’ll go as far with this as you possibly can.” Your gaze was piercing. He gasped. “Promise me no matter how much I scream, writhe or whatever - so long as it’s possibly justifiable, you’ll hold off of giving me the next dose.”

His pulse thundered in his chest. This is insane. Nobody should ever agree to this. He didn’t want to. He’d never want to do anything that’d make you suffer.

“Promise me,” you repeated when he didn’t reply right away, firmer now but no less mournful. Your thumb grazed over his cheekbone.

He felt entirely numb when he spoke. “I promise, Y/n,” he choked out, voice broken. His grip around your hand and arm was firm now. Desperate. “But I won’t risk anything,” he added swiftly, “I can’t - I can’t do that.”

“I know. Thank you,” you replied, almost a whimper. Your hand smoothed over his face to reach for the back of his skull, through his hair. With very light pressure, you beckoned him closer. Dazedly he moved again, and a moment later your cool lips were on his in an utterly tender kiss. He couldn’t help the whimper of his own that escaped against your lips. Your hand stroked over his short hair.

He pulled back only very slightly after, his face hovering over yours. Your eyes were glistening again. His were prickling again, too. “I don’t want to lose you, Y/n,” he muttered.

You gave another smile that tore at his heart. “You won’t. I’ll fight as much as you do.”

He was damn sure you’d fight. In both a sarcastic and wholehearted way.

He closed his eyes and a hand snuck around your chest, under you, while his face buried in the crook of your neck. Your arms wrapped around him. He took a deep breath that nearly turned into a sob.

You kept rubbing gently over his back while he tried to bite down on more tears and sobs. The ache in his heart was near unbearable now.

_____

As much as he wanted to simply hold you, time was more essential than ever. He mournfully released you not long after and with another warm caress, both inwardly by his chakra and outwardly, he promised he’d be back soon to find his brother and discuss the plan. You on the other hand had become weaker yet again, urging him to hurry even more. The withdrawal would set in soon, and they had to be ready.

Even so, Tobirama decided to make most of the time he had, as well. If you were going to run a high risk, so would he - before he sought out his brother who no doubt was in the Hokage office at this time of the day - past noon - he went to the laboratory again. Three shadow clones - for now. With what little information he had gleaned from Zenji as well as the result from his first experiment, he might as well triple his efforts in trying to recreate the leash. Four times more, once he was involved. Frankly the number was low for him, but they'd be working quite a long time and he well remembered the head-splitting concentration it had taken to even conduct his first experiment in imbuing the basis with chakra.

When he'd let these clones disappear, it'd be tripled. So would the progress, however. He let out a low gruff when they got to work. All he needed to do was remind himself of the strain you'd be shouldering soon.

He should have done this from day one. But then he didn't have enough information to go with for this to be truly efficient - he hadn’t even known what to do, really.

Hashirama indeed was in the office, which Tobirama noted was in some disarray. Quite possibly because he had not been here to swat at his brother's hands. His scowl mustered the scrolls that were strewn about, shaking his head.

Hashirama already sighed when he noticed his disapproving glance. "You're not here to berate me I'm guessing," he began, already defensively.

"I have more urgent business, although I will say this office is ridiculously untidy," he frowned, casting a last glance around to find his brother drooping again. Luckily they didn't receive guests in here. Tobirama crossed his arms.

"Yes…?" Hashirama inquired, slumping further into his chair.

"Y/n … brought up an idea," he began, suddenly finding difficulty in wording this. Proposing this insane plan. His pulse picked up already. He tilted his head to gaze out of the window behind his brother. "We… I need more time, anija. And she thinks we should extend the interval at which she takes what we have left of the leash as much as possible."

Once the words had left him, a weight felt lifted off of his shoulders at the same time it came crashing onto his chest again. His heart. There was no turning back now. He firmly had to believe this was the right thing to do. Like so often these past few days. He simply staggered through the heartache all this caused him and tried to forget about how wrong it was.

Hashirama straightened in his chair, frowning now. His elbows propped up on the desk and he intertwined his fingers. Any of the depressed demeanour was gone. "I hardly think I need to tell you of all people how dangerous that is, Tobirama."

Tobirama hissed past his clenched teeth. "Tell me something new." He still found himself profusely struggling with all this. "I… even if it's just a day or a day and a half more," echoing your words. He paused, his arms sliding down and fists clenching by his sides. "I can't deny I'd take every damn hour I can get."

Hashirama's gaze was trained on the desk, his forehead wrinkled in fine ponder. "It's that bad," he whispered, half to himself.

Tobirama remained silent. He needn't supply that statement with more fodder. Him being here - saying the things he was saying - was proof enough of that. Slowly, he crossed his arms again, taking deep breaths.

That sort of had seemed to become his new mantra.

Hashirama leaned back in the chair again, turning slightly but still lost in thought. "The withdrawal ultimately is lethal, that much we have ascertained."

Tobirama sighed. The words stabbed at his heart. "Indeed," he replied nonetheless, beaten down. "We have to stabilise her as long as possible-"

Hashirama cut in. "-before the withdrawal becomes too severe. I understand that." He fell silent again.

Tobirama grew uneasy the longer Hashirama did not speak.

When he finally spoke again, Tobirama almost flinched. "I'm not sure to what degree that is possible," he began slowly, a hand rubbing over his chin. "We're already facing the problem of Y/n's chakra overload due to weeks of sloppy care on top of grievous injury, so that is not a good angle to work with. One we will have to use if necessary - even if it means to overburden her - but as a last resort."

Tobirama listened intently, trying to ignore the rush of blood in his ears. The implications of his brother’s elaborations didn’t sit well with him either, but then what of this did? Therefore he didn’t argue, but just listen.

"It comes down to using every kind of physical aid we have available therefore, mainly medicine. Also other physical aid, but that would be our focus, for now."

"That's not a bad start," Tobirama stated, aware there was more to follow.

Which it did. "Any chakra based methods are our last resort. And we won't be able to do anything for her physical state otherwise, meaning her remaining injuries won’t receive attention." That would set you back yet again - they'd again push the limits of what you could take, even go beyond. And after - after all this was over, you'd face a prolonged recovery to repair those damages perfectly. Tobirama's hands bunched the black fabric of his shirt.

It was manageable, still. Somehow. Eventually.

Hashirama was not done though. "I'm worried it won't hold very long. The withdrawal effect we have witnessed was intense as such. That was somewhat more than the interval we're at now. And we know the bulk of it seems to stem from the way the victim’s chakra starts to interact with the leash."

Tobirama frowned. Something about that sentence made him wonder - but he stowed it away for later. "So you're saying we can't prolong the dose by a meaningful margin either way?"

Hashirama shook his head. "I don't know enough to make a prognosis. But…," he sighed. Tobirama knew that sigh. Whatever Hashirama wanted to say next won't sit well with him. Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. It couldn't get any worse at this point, why mince his words? "... there might be merit in sealing off Y/n's chakra, temporarily. As long as the withdrawal sets in worse."

That did strike him harshly. Tobirama sucked in a sharp breath. "That's tantamount to amputation, anija," he rasped out with a slight tremble to his voice, a cold shiver running over his back.

Hashirama cleared his throat solemnly. "Think of it more as restraining."

The world was upside down if Tobirama became the one to question Hashirama's methods. "Restraining implies just preventing something - you're talking about taking it away from her completely!", his voice rose in volume as the shock seeped through his veins icily. "A punishment befitting criminals," he added, pained.

It hurt. It hurt so much because -

Deep down, he already knew this was yet another thing they'd end up doing to you, thinking it was best. He'd do better accepting it quickly. Still, in this moment - it was sheer horror. He’d fight it, be disgusted of it… and do it anyway.

Hashirama closed his eyes. " Temporarily, Tobirama. It's worth a try. It won’t stop the withdrawal as it gets worse, because her chakra is just sealed from her, but obviously not gone from her body. But I’m confident it’s going to help prolong the time between the intervals." Of course it was. Logically, he well comprehended this. If he’d sit down calmly, he’d have come up with this on his own, too. It didn't make accepting this easier.

But he had to.

Defeatedly he heaved a heavy breath. "Very well." He silently hoped you were so out of it by then, you wouldn't feel it as much anymore.

"I'll speak to Mito," Hashirama announced. "And I will supervise Y/n personally." He rose to his feet already. "When would the next dose be needed?"

"About two hours," Tobirama murmured, feeling numb again.

"Alright. Then there still is some time." Already, Hashirama began to move for the door. "I'll be in the laboratory. I want to be notified right away if any complications arise," Tobirama announced tersely, “Or when she needs the next dose.” No discussion about this whatsoever.

Time to deal with the problem that was splitting his head, not his heart.

_______ He inspected his shadow clones work when he got back to the laboratory. Not much more than what he had managed before - but they had just started to work. He briefly contemplated visiting you again but decided against it in favour of you resting.

You were in for enough as it was. He resolved to put every single second to use now more than ever given the situation had become as grave. Yet being here again placed him in front of the seemingly insurmountable task again. He still didn’t know how to continue, and what he had gleaned so far served as a vague indicator at best. If he interpreted it wrong, he might end up in the wrong direction altogether. And that meant…

The painful tightness settled in his chest again. He took a moment of gripping the lab bench tightly to breathe through it.

He really only had one shot at this.

Reviewing what he knew so far he was almost completely convinced that the liquid had been imbued with chakra, no particular jutsu involved at all - but rather a complex weaving technique of chakra itself - akin to the way medical jutsu at a very basic level worked. Simply because his first experiment had shown a similar effect in Zenji. Still, he couldn't rule the possibility out entirely, since his experiment hadn’t produced the same effects the leash did. So far concerning the immediate effect of the leash.

But there was also the time component. Because his own experiment had worn off rather quickly in comparison to the original, Tobirama couldn’t help but wonder if maybe a technique was needed after all to make it last longer. A seal, rather, he corrected himself. However that, he judged, would not be as difficult to imitate - it’d have to be a containment seal of inferior quality due to the fact neither he nor Hashirama found any trace of it on the bottle they had brought with them. Anything more complicated would’ve required some ink work.

A relief, albeit a small one.

He still did not know at all how the change of the chakra component between muting and then disrupting the victim’s chakra happened, though. Recalling how different your two blood samples had presented - it made him doubt again if there really was no jutsu involved. This seemed too far-fetched to be accomplished by weaving of chakra alone. Every effect the leash caused - altering chakra flows to a stop, almost, and causing disruption in someone’s network to a point the body reacts, violently and physically - a well-versed medical nin could produce in a like human being with their own chakra. But to imbue a liquid that caused these effects consecutively in a timely manner - for a duration that would kill the victim before they have worn off - it seemed near impossible, the more Tobirama thought of it.

Unless.

He recalled Hashirama’s words from before: the bulk of it seems to stem from the way the victim’s chakra starts to interact with the leash.

Something about that had bothered him. Why would someone go the long way to create a drug that served as a chemical leash due to its withdrawal effect without actually taking advantage of it in interrogation settings? Wouldn’t it be more sensible to let the victim suffer continuously in fact, and not with the belated onset? Sure, the withdrawal effects were lethal at some point - but Tobirama did not doubt for one second that a person who was able to imbue a vial with chakra that changed its effect over time could easily let the uncomfortable feeling of the withdrawal set in sooner and prolong that, shortening the chakra muting phase of the drug. Even scrapping it altogether, really. To immobilize a victim’s chakra was handy for torture, true - it lowered mental defenses. To some degree, anyway - it hadn’t worked with you. Yet… bothering a person with something like the withdrawal effect would do the same just as well. Even for restraining purposes this seemed ineffective: chakra handcuffs or the like would serve the purpose better and longer. A torturer should know how to seal off chakra, too.

It hit Tobirama then.

The leash didn’t change over time. It had not one, but two chakra components: one to clog the victim’s chakra flow, the other to disrupt it.

How had he not realised this sooner? Just as he found a medic-nin might create all these effects in a person, he should’ve realised it would be impossible to do so without actively altering the chakra they were using profusely. Or, multitracking with two different kinds of chakra flows at the same time. He had judged what the leash did was extremely difficult to recreate - but that was because the way he perceived it, it just was not possible. Chakra did not change on its own, someone needed to do it.

He couldn’t help but bark a haughty laugh for being so foolish to think the Stone shinobi had pulled that off. Well, then again he had seen stranger things.

The chakra muting component of the leash settled in and covered up the disruption component until it wore off and the victim began to experience symptoms. The chakra muting component therefore wasn’t intended for torture: it was necessary. Without it, the withdrawal would set in right away, starting to kill the victim. From the examinations he and Hashirama had performed on you during the withdrawal he knew the disruption was incurable in the way toxins might be extracted; that had been a hint to the chakra based nature of the leash. But not just that: it spread through the whole body, seeped through everywhere, making it impossible to be destroyed manually, in a sense. When he examined your blood, he had seen then the correlation of this; the enemies' chakra that had near branded itself to your cells in a most detrimental way. Both the effect it causes as well as your body's reaction were what was killing you during withdrawal.

A cure will have to remove it, Tobirama dismally realised. Somehow.

Though even more dismally he found that new questions arose from these realisations. While he had ascertained there must be two components, he still did not answer the initial question: was it really not possible to simply increase the withdrawal effect over time, foregoing the muting component? This seemed extra complicated. There had to be more to it - the only guess he could hazard really was the fact once imbued with chakra, the substance’s effect wouldn’t change. Any shift in intensity in the drug would only happen due to an effect wearing off. And why did the muting effect fade, but not the withdrawal effect? When he first analysed the leash with his sensory skills, the substance appeared so intricately woven, he hadn't even guessed two manipulations happened. Even your blood had not made him guess as much - initially there had been this fuzzy, heavy aspect of it - almost smothering - and in the later sample, it was stingy, like a million hooks that ripped along everything they touched, specifically chakra and its pathways. Why had he not felt both, if there had been two modifications?

Tobirama groaned finally and rubbed a hand over his face. The more he thought about all of this, the more he felt like he was starting to split hairs. He still hadn’t even found out how to weave the chakra in properly. Sighing heavily he released his clones briefly just to let them reappear, equipped with his new thoughts. The exhaustion was bearable as of now given they had not been working long yet, but still, the amount of images, feelings and experience that flooded his mind the moment he broke the jutsu made him stagger a moment.

He was not looking forward to gathering their results for this day.

Cynically he noted more sleep and food might help the issue. But he had no time for that yet.

Time to get to work himself. He began exactly the same as last time; starting to weave chakra he figured would cause the desired effect in a person’s body. Thanks to his added experience the process was a little bit faster, but it still took him - and his clones - a fair deal of time to produce four vials in total. And the concentration required was daunting - he couldn’t allow himself a moment of distraction or the tiny threads might crumble, knot together or frazzle. He might as well try to weave a complex pattern using spiderwebs only, or something of that caliber. The result wasn’t even gratifying: he merely had the muting component woven in, nothing like disruption was added yet. Truth be told, Tobirama was quite worried the delicate structure might crumble if he added more to it.

But he had to, eventually. Still, he had four vials in total now to try it with.

His gaze wandered to the clock. You had exceeded your interval by four hours so far. Which meant right now, you definitely would be suffering - and Hashirama was managing, or else he’d have sent for Tobirama.

If his brother had administered the next dose without him, then so help him whatever power he wanted to place his faith in.

He slipped one of the vials into his pocket. Then, he himself and each of the clones performed a very simple seal to preserve the vials as they were so the chakra woven in wouldn’t diminish over time. With a heavy sigh, he released the three shadow clones - and instantly grasped for the lab bench when the exhaustion hit him. It wasn’t just like feeling tired, worn out. He felt entirely stripped of his last shred of concentration, let alone energy to keep his eyes open. This might as well have been a blow to his head with a hammer, shattering the bone and ringing through his brain. His own chakra levels were not bothered at all - none of this was demanding in chakra quantity. He panted heavily and tried to keep his eyes open forcibly - just a while longer. The experience he gathered was so valuable - he just gained three sessions like this.

The question was how often he could take it.

He lingered a moment longer in order to regain his composure and remember the way to your room again.

Why did he have to remember, though?

Wait. He had his branded kunai in there.

That bad, huh. Tobirama shivered. This kind of blunder really was not like him.

With a low grunt, he placed the vial in his pocket back onto the laboratory rack. He’d conduct his next tests after he rested some. This wasn’t going to yield good results and so he was forced to having only his mood greatly soured by this. He simply had no time for things like… sleep.

Blinking slowly, he forced the last bit of concentration out of him and used the hiraishin seal to teleport to your room.

#tobirama #tobirama senju #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju x reader #sekhmet writes

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solomonish · 4 years ago

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Hey! If you're up for it how about The Fool, The Hierophant, and The Tower for Solomon. And The Moon as a bonus for any character that strikes your fancy!

hell YES i am up for it! i would do the entire thing for Solomon in one go if asked (please don’t ask......let me pace myself lol)

major arcana headcanon requests!

SOLOMON

The Fool - what are your muse’s thoughts on new beginnings? does it frighten them or excite them?

Well, I think Solomon has a different opinion on new beginnings for himself than he does others, first of all. Considering all he’s seen and been through and what role he has in the universe now, it makes sense that he’d hold himself to a different standard.

I think for him, he doesn’t necessarily think there’s even the option? Like, he has stagnated. His power and knowledge grows, sure, but in terms of personal development he’s kind of stuck. (At least, that’s how I think he defaults to seeing himself. Can’t keep the realms under control if you’re distracted by trying to be a better person, you know?) He just has to move forward without any thought to “starting over.” Maybe there’s too many layers to get through to start from the top again. Maybe he can never have a new beginning because he cannot end. Maybe he just forgets to take a personal day and do some self reflection because he’s busy, haha. But I can kind of see him not really...thinking that’s an option for himself. The concept seems like wishful thinking, but if ever given the opportunity he’d definitely have some reservations about whether or not he could make it through the transition. Not scared per se, but...wary.

For others, though, I think Solomon definitely thinks it’s possible, especially for humans. Angels and demons have such a stiff role they have to fulfill, but humans? They can kinda do whatever they want. Even if he feels a bit detached from humanity, he still cares deeply for it (them? us?) and the ability to just decide you’re unhappy and completely reinvent yourself, especially with the little time we have, probably just adds to our charm, you know? It’s probably one of the things he’s jealous of or misses, if he thinks about it

The Hierophant - what are your muse’s morals / ethics? do they follow their moral code strictly?

oh boy, solomon and ethics....

Solomon’s ethics are better off described rather than labeled. If you labeled them, you’d start with “gray” and then you’d get nowhere else. I definitely don’t think he’s amoral, and I don’t think he’s immoral either. It’s very easy to determine a person void of morals or ethics when judging them based on a life where there aren’t many choices that would be “immoral” but necessary. Like, in the average life, the most immoral thing is easy to not do. But considering he’s got, ahem, large responsibilities on his shoulders, there’s probably quite a few times where the best course of action would be horrifying for someone to hear of him doing.

Overall, he prioritizes humanity above all else, along with its longevity and preservation. He definitely has a different internal attitude (at least) when interacting with angels and demons as opposed to humans, a combination of not really feeling as directly responsible for them and also knowing that if he ever is, he would have few to no qualms about giving them the short end of the stick in a situation that would benefit “his team,” if he could manage to pass it by Diavolo or Michael.

I don’t think his internal values change, things like autonomy and equality for all, free pursuit of knowledge, y’know, all the good stuff everybody wants. And in his day-to-day life, he doesn’t seem the type to pass quick judgement or have some inherent unwillingness to compromise. “Morals” and “ethics” seems to imply a more grand scenario, and as the “keeper of humanity” or however he sees himself, he wouldn’t exactly be hesitant or emotionally torn apart by having to hurt somebody if it meant he could protect and support humanity as a whole.

I feel like I spent however many paragraphs being extremely vague and I’m not sure if this makes sense or even says anything of importance, haha...

The Tower - what event drastically changed your muse’s life? do they resent that event or are they glad of it?

Well, I mean, there’s a few obvious answers here. You have his fall from the graces of the heavens, the exchange program, any number of biblical events, his discovery of magic and the path he took to immortality, the fallout with his apprentice....and to be honest, with the exception of the exchange program, i think he is resentful but also glad? He’s the type to see the good and the bad outcomes of the situation. He’s probably made peace with the sentiment that “oh it made me who i am today” but he does have days where he grapples with all he’s lost and must now deal with for practically eternity.

Though, and these aren’t drastic events that shatter him forever (but i think they can be mentioned here), I do think that he takes little pieces of the people he meets and cares about until he becomes a sort of mosiac of the people he loves. Not necessarily romantic love, either. He met a witch who he was close friends with who couldn’t put down cheesy teen romance novels from a specific author, so you can find a few copies of her favorites sandwiched between spellbooks and old archival texts in his room. He isn’t big on self care, but Asmo did teach him a quick and efficient way to wash his face and keep his skin clear. Simeon and Luke gave him an appreciation for finely crafted tea sets. Again, the event i guess would be “making a friend” (which for him very well may be a once in a lifetime kind of deal lol) and isn’t what the question meant, but idk. I think it was worth mentioning here because long-term, it does incorporate into him as a person.

LUCIFER (my other fave <3)

The Moon - what does your muse long for? is it a realistic desire?

Not to be surface-level and cheesy, but I think he longs for him and his brothers to feel like a family. Not that they don’t already, but I think he longs for the way they used to be in the Celestial Realm, how complete they used to feel. In that way, it’s probably the most unrealistic desire. The hole in their family isn’t one that can or even should be filled, and your addition is just that - an addition, not a replacement.

Something that could give him (kind of) what he craves is if he and his brothers could heal. They’re already on the right path, but they’re still all kind of dysfunctional. The complicated part of this is that a lot of their strife is due to the nature of demons, and the wholesome unity is a brand that has never really been found in he Devildom. That’s not to say it’s impossible - the brothers still love each other, they still are loyal to each other, but Lucifer can feel that there is some sort of rift between them that has not yet been fixed that he yearns to solve.

(If you ask me, the “rift” is probably something caused by trying to heal in an environment that will never offer mercy or forgiveness. If the brothers can find solace in each other, maybe that’ll get them a step closer. But sometimes their interactions still feel like walking on eggshells, and...I don’t know. I really do think Lucifer longs for the type of relationship they had when they were angels, and he’s trying to deal with the realization that maybe that type of relationship just isn’t in the cards for a demon.)

#i think maybe this is just me saying a whole lot of something #ask game #lucifer #solomon #obey me #obey me solomon #obey me lucifer #solomon hcs #lucifer hcs #asked and answered #elvishdork #mine #asks

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kinkyacademia · 5 years ago

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Could I request a scenario or even headcanons (whichever is easier) with Overhaul of how he would be with fem s/o and she just so happens to have a erasure-like quirk.... (I’m sorry it’s so vague I can elaborate if necessary) thank you so much!

So the thing is it is 3:30AM and my dog is alseep next to me, hands not working, I want to write sex.Okay I ended up rewriting and finishing the request, but the fact that my intro was so dumb still makes me laugh XD

-Mod Pasta🍜🍝

💊You had met Overhaul when he was just starting the Shie Hassaikai, you being fresh out of a mediocre Hero Course and still struggling to find your place in the world.You were always told that hero life suited you, but that it would be hard to find work because of your quirk. Why did it have to be hard? Why were everyone’s compliments so backhanded? You wanted to do good, but it felt like the government didn’t care.

💊He pulled you out of that mess and depression, telling you that you were incredible, your quirk was a blessing, wrapping his arm around you without flinching. Without flinching. One of the first things he said to you was, “You’re clean, you may have a quirk, but it’s clean.”

💊That was about a year ago. Overhaul sometimes asked for you assistance with Eri’s “temper tantrums,” Or to teach certain members a lesson, or just to make himself feel temporarily clean. The more skin-to-skin contact he had with you, the better his mood would get that day. There were many parts to his business that you opposed, especially the use of Eri, but you didn’t want to be useless and deny him your service. This wasn’t the easy route you had to remind yourself. You were helping.

💊More contact meant less clothes, and despite his adverseness to germs, the closest he could get to you was sex. He was infatuated with you, and for the first time in his life, he opened his being to someone. It was all on his own terms, of course, but you were more than happy to oblige. You were helping a man achieve his dreams after all, and what was more desirable that a driven person?

💊You had to admit that Kurono throwing you at Chisaki like a happy pill was a bit annoying, but you also felt important. You were this important to one person, especially a very important man - this was what you wanted. You wanted to help others, and this did the job just fine despite the obvious drawbacks. Overhaul made it very clear that you could return to the hero world whenever you wanted, but reminded you of what would happen: You would be shunned for leaving for so long, you would never find work, you would fall into a pit of despair and never be recognized.

💊Technically you only needed to touch someone once to cancel their quirk for a couple minutes, but Overhaul obviously enjoyed your continued use.

On one particular bad day, you were drinking tea in the backyard when you heard footsteps approaching, blocking the sun from reaching you and casting a shadow, “Yes?”

“You’re needed (L/N),” It was short and sweet, but you knew what Kurono meant. His voice was strained, and you pushed yourself up slowly, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Is he okay?”

“Not exactly,” He nodded to the back door, and you felt a prick of annoyance at his rushed tone, but proceeded inside nonetheless. You went down a staircase, down a few winding stone halls, then found Kendo Rappa standing outside of Overhaul’s room, arms crossed in front of him as he pouted, glaring at you. You looked away, hoping he wouldn’t confront you.

As you passed him, reaching for the doorknob, he spoke up with a crackly tone, indicating how his conversation with the masked man went, “You’re going in? He’s pretty pissed,” he chuckled, reaching for your hand.

“That’s okay,” You giggled, waving him off, “Thank you though.”

“I warned yah,” He shrugged, looking up and down the hall before leaving you, throwing one last sentence over his shoulder, “We should fight!”

“Right,” You muttered, rolling your eyes. It was like his departing phrase: fight me, give me a battle, see you next round, etc. You pushed his warnings out of your head, taking a deep breath before opening knocking with one hand and pushing the door open, “It’s me.”

“Close the door,” Just as you were got inside, you were ordered around. You had to swallowed your pride and not state that that was exactly what you were going to do. Usually he praised the ground you walked on, but Kurono and Rappa were right: this was a particularly bad day, likely because of Rappa.

You sat in front of him while he looked over a set of papers, “Did Chronostasis send you?” He hummed, turning a page. You nodded.

“Yeah,” Your eyes traveled to a few books that had fallen from his shelves. The fact that they weren’t picked up made your nerves stand on end. The clean-freak himself wasn’t cleaning.

You got up to clean the books up, and he didn’t stop you. Once everything looked orderly, you turned to him, approaching him now from behind his desk, “I guess today was hard?”

“Correct,” He mumbled, getting to the last page, “I would rather my subordinates do what I ask of them without question, but some need motivation,” He clicked his tongue, rubbing his fingers over the paper delicately. It looked like he was trying not to crinkle it, but his anger caused the edge of the paper to turn in. He stared at it for a second, then slowly placed the paper on top of the stack, shaking his head with a groan of disappointment.

You smiled, gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder to provide the much-needed relief he craved, “They’ve fought before, but last time their reasons were jaded. You provide a clear goal: Maybe that’s what’s important to them,” You gave him an experimental squeeze. He didn’t respond, his eyes closed as he thought. A moment passed, and you began to feel an awkward silence brewing. Suddenly he pushed his chair back, reaching up to grab your wrist and pull you down to eye level.

“I’m their boss. You,” His eyes travelled to your chest, then back up, causing your cheeks to flare, “You’re too perfect to give trash like them excuses.”

“Oh,” You whispered, heart pounding. Your surroundings became sharp and in better focus as adrenaline surged through your veins, “Thank you.”

He let go of your hand, and you crouched in front of him awkwardly, awaiting his word. You found trouble thinking for yourself these days: it was just so easy to let Overhaul make the decisions. He pulled his gloves off, putting them in his jacket pocket before removing the coat and placing it on the back of his chair. You knew what was coming, and it excited you to no end.

“You should be ready,” He started working on his mask, and you eyed the awkward man before reaching under your skirt and hooking a finger around your shorts and panties. You stepped out of them, looking around. You ended up placing them on the ground next to his seat, turning back to him. He was staring at your chest, and you instinctively went to cover your breasts.

“Over-”

“Leave the skirt,” He continued to stare with hungry eyes, “I enjoy all of you, (F/N),” He raised a hand up to form the come here sign. You obliged, and he reached a hand out to your legs. You too the cue to climb onto his seat, straddling him and sitting on his knees, “You’re a pure form of human.”

“I think you underestimate your own worth, you’re just as amazing as me,” Your hand came up to his neck, resting against it as your quirk took hold once again. His mask was on the desk now, but a black one underneath had taken its place. You rarely got to kiss him, but he seemed to enjoy the contact of the kiss rather than the emotions behind it. He was better at expressing those through speech and touch.

“We’re powerful together,” He settled that, “But that��s not important now… Tell me about your day,” You chuckled- he was quite monotonous when it came to casual talk. His bare hands went to your shirt, pulling it off of you. He wasn’t one to hold back - the moment your shirt was off, he went to your bra. Skilled with his hands, it dropped immediately and they went to your breasts.

“It was-” You had to pause when he took your shirt off, “Good! I went and made lunch for Eri. She’s so big now,” You hummed with content, then was cut off by his roaming fingers, “You’re cold,” You whispered with a laugh. He stopped for a second, then nodded slowly.

“You’re warm,” He stroked your breasts downward, his fingers reaching your skirt. His eyes flickered up to your own, “You know I enjoy watching you.”“Yeah,” Excitement bubbled within you as you looked down at his lap. Your boyfriend could even be labelled as nice after sex, having been as intimate as possible with the girl who gave him the relief of being “clean.”

He started to seem impatient, leaning closed to you. Your stomach did flips, and you reached for his belt buckle, undoing it and pulling it off. You placed it on the ground, then undid the button and zipper to his pants, pulling them down a bit. All that was left was his boxers, and this was where the leader-type man would usually take the reigns. You were given them for today, however, and you had some feeling of pride in it

You pulled the hem down, enough for his semi-erection to spring loose. You gently gripped it in your hand, enjoying the veins and texture. The rest of his body had a smooth, flawless feeling, likely due to using his quirk on himself. He hadn’t done the same to his member, and the contrast was a strange, but interesting aspect of the man. His breath caught for a second, and your eyes flickered to his own. They seemed expectant. You gave an experimental pump, and he took a short, sharp breath. You felt your own core aching - you had never been with someone other than Overhaul. The Hero Course strictly forbid fraternizing, and everyone was too good two shoes to try anything serious. Overhaul’s style, the way he ordered you, the way he pleased you - it was all you knew, and you knew you liked it a lot. He always left you satisfied, if not yearning for another round.

You raised your hand to your mouth, licking it before going back down to lubricate him. You bit your bottom lip, seeing he was fully erect and ready. Your heavy-lidded eyes met his own, and his hands made their way under your thighs, lifting you up slightly, “I’m growing impatient.”

“Sorry,” You chuckled, pushing yourself up on the arms of his chair and scooting forward. You reached down and position himself at your wet entrance, already remembering the intoxicating pleasure. Overhaul was a scientist after all, and he took data in so he could improve results. Sex never got old with him. You slowly sat, and your sigh of pleasure mixed with his sigh of relief.

“You’re just… perfect, you know?” You smiled, taking a few seconds to adjust to how deep he already was inside of you. His hands returned to your ass under the skirt, his hands still cold against you.

“I am clean, never perfect,” He shook his head, and you pushed yourself up a bit, then sat back down on his member. You gasped at the deep feeling, rolling your hips forward to relish it. You could see his jaw clenched and you reached up to rub it.

“You’re perfect for me, I never want anyone else,” Your hero side showed a bit, and you raised yourself up again, starting to find a rhythm. You weren’t used to riding, but you learned quickly. You were finding out what felt deeper and oh god what made your head spin.

“I feel the same to you,” He squeezed your ass, and you yelped, then laughed, a small sigh of content escaping your lips. You were starting to like pleasing yourself on him, and you knew he liked being inside of you, so it was a win-win. As you used his shoulders to support your bouncing, you got a surprise when his hips instinctively bucked up into you. He swallowed hard, and you realized he was holding back for your own sake.

“Ah… Fuck…” You moaned, rolling your hips into his own. His hands shifted to wrap around your waist, using his small thrusts to get even deep than your bouncing. With the joint effort, both of you felt pleased. Even Overhaul was groaning, his teeth grit. Your head fell next to his own on the side of the chair, your breathing heavy. You knew you were close, and he was as well.

“Overhaul!” You both were startled by a loud shout from behind his door. You pulled back to look at him with dazed confusion, and when there was a bang on the door, he leaned over and grabbed your shirt off the ground. You pulled it on, but the moment you did, a very angry Rappa entered the room. Your blood ran cold - Overhaul was still inside of you!

Overhaul was much better at handling the situation than you. He whispered for you to grab your phone and just play on it until this was over. After a lengthy conversation about the politics of the Yakuza and where Rappa stood, he finally calmed down. You had to use all your might not to react, looking away from Rappa and hiding yourself in the crook of Overhaul’s neck, looking at your phone mindlessly.

Rappa finally left, slamming the door as he did so. Once he was gone, you both waited a moment before you pulled back with a laugh, placing your phone on his desk and then turning to him, “That was close, good thing I kept my skirt-” When you saw how intense his eyes were, you had to do a double take. He’d really been holding back all of those emotions this whole time?

His hands slid under your ass, and he suddenly stood up, taking a step forward to place you across his desk, “It certainly was (F/N).”

“D-Do we get t-to finish?” You tried to play dumb, but your heart was racing, face flushed as his hands slid to your thighs. He grabbed them and pulled back, then snapped his hips forward. You were yet again at his mercy.

“Wait, I thought I was-” You began to whine, then was interrupted by another snap of his hips. A small gasp escaped your lips.

“I still own over you,” He reminded you, “I own over your perfect existence,” He immediately started at a fast pace, already riled up from being edged before. You had to grab the edge of the desk, back arching. You choked back a cry of surprise and pleasure.

“Ah-yes!” You exclaimed, legs wrapping around his back and keeping him close. You were both still aroused and stimulated from before, so you felt your orgasm coming quicker than expected.

“You’re perfect in every way,” He was barely panting, while your breathing was hot and heavy. You whined, gasped, and moaned, pitiful at best against his expertise when it came to your body. Each of his thrusts hit you in a pleasurable place, and you couldn’t hold back for long. Riding him was nothing like this - he was the master of pleasuring you.

“Fuck…” You quickly reached your climax, and once you did, you cried out and pulled him close to you, toes curling and muscles taught. He stayed buried inside of you, then once you were finished, you felt his own orgasm fill you with warmth. His level of control over his own body still surprised you.

After calming down and him pulling out of you, he set to cleaning up the mess with wipes and his quirk. You got your clothes back on, making sure he was better now. His mood was vastly improved, “Should I stay?”

“You may if you would like to,” He shrugged, wiping his chair down. You happily did so, sitting on his chair once he had moved onto the desk. He gave you a temporary glare, and you just giggled childishly. He rolled his eyes.

“I’ve got to say, that was a pretty silly situation.”

“It was,” He agreed, but you still wanted a laugh from him. You dramatically pouted.

“Aw, but you never laugh! Everybody laughs,” You whined, kicking your legs out.

“I’m not everyone,” He commented, then glanced at you once again, “I laugh. I laughed last night at dinner.”

“Chuckled,” You pointed at him, and he nodded slowly.

“That’s laughing,” He paused for a second, then nodded to himself as if to confirm his own belief. This left you laughing as well: he was just so odd.

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ship-trek · 4 years ago

Note

I would like to know everything about your ships with Spock, Uhura and Bones please!!! KJFEWHKJFW if there's lore or fic I wanna read it and if there's art I wanna see it those three are VERY GOOD (I have a lot of love for TOS) @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

!!!! I! Thank you for this lovely ask!! I also have a lot of love for TOS, it was the first Trek I watched and it's always going to have a special place in my heart!!

If you really want to know everything, we're going to be here for a while, so this is going under a cut for length. I should never have been enabled like this. None of them have any fics yet and I can't really draw all that well, so there's no art either, but I'm always happy to ramble about them and call it lore, so here we go!

Ok, as I'm writing down the lore for my ship with Spock, it's becoming a lot longer than I thought it would be - as in it's over 1000 words and we *just* got to Starfleet Academy. I'm going to trim it down a bit to try and get a shorter version and I'll probably turn the rest into a fic. Even with the cuts, though, this is really long. You've been warned.

Once I finish my WIPs with Nerys, I have some plans for some TOS fics, so hopefully my lovely friends will get their fair share of fics soon! I can tag you in any TOS fics I write if you'd like, but of course there's no pressure!

Bones:

I selfship with Bones in the way I do to cope with some specific issues, so lore-wise it's a bit different than my other ships. I don't really have an s/i, it's just me here in our world. He's off on the Enterprise doing all those fun space things, but I can call him whenever I like and he always tries to get back to me as soon as possible if he misses the call at the time. He doesn't miss them often, though - he and I set up a system so I can mark calls as high, mid, or low priority and he'll interrupt almost anything to take a high priority call. I hardly ever use it, but it's nice to know I can reach him if I really need to. And he's amazing to talk to! He's really supportive and always willing to listen to me, and he gives the best hugs :)

I'm actually really excited because he's due back on Earth soon, and he promised to come visit! He can't visit often so every time he does he goes out of his way to make our time together special. It's one of the little ways he shows he really cares about me.

This is a fairly new ship for me, so I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about Joanna. I'm unlikely to add her as a familial f/o, but we might end up as friends or I might just ignore her entirely. It's my canon now :)

Uhura:

So! I am a massive language nerd. I've been teaching myself both Vulcan and Klingon in addition to studying Latin, Japanese, and Spanish in school at various points. (Yes, Swahili is next on my list. Yes, this is because of Uhura.)

Nyota and I met at Starfleet Academy (more details on how I got there in Spock's lore as both ships use the same s/i) during one of our xenolingustics classes. She seemed super cool, but she had a friend group already, so I ended up being too scared to approach her. I haven't always been the best student, so I got into the habit of taking any extra credit opportunities that came my way. Our xenolinguistics teacher offered extra credit if we went to a presentation being hosted by the xenolingustics club, and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I showed up. Nyota saw me there, recognized me from class, and encouraged me to join the club. She seemed nice and I was free, so I said I'd try it out. I came to a few meetings and we ended up becoming friends!

I was never close with her friend group (we didn't have a lot in common and i just didn't fit their vibe) but she worked hard to make sure we still had time to hang out, and I never felt like she liked me any more or any less than the rest of her friends. How she balanced it all, I don't know. I still think she might be superhuman.

She was a year ahead of me and we ended up falling out of contact a little bit when she graduated. Between her (and later my) assignments, there was just never enough time, and as some of you may know (Sorry!!) my ability to stay in touch with people online is atrocious. We didn't stop talking entirely or stop being friends, but it wasn't until we were both assigned to the Enterprise that we were able to reconnect, and we're even better friends now than we were back then. I didn't exactly figure out who I was, but I grew more comfortable with the process of growing as a person and not having all the answers, and as a result I ended up way more confident in myself and with a lot less self loathing. Turns out, that makes you a lot more fun to be around! I still have a lot of work to do in that area, but I'm a lot better than I was back at the academy.

She and I hang out a lot on the Enterprise, sometimes with Spock or Nurse Chapel and sometimes just the two of us. We sing together, play games, talk in half a dozen languages (just because I don't know them yet doesn't mean my s/i can't!) and just do all those normal fun friend things. Sometimes we even teach or help each other learn new languages (I'm learning a new dialect of Klingon and she's learning Latin). One thing I've always really appreciated about her is the way she handles spontaneity with me - when she wants to hang out or change plans on short notice, she always gives me a really good sense of what she's suggesting we do and gives me the chance to raise any concerns or questions about it before we have to make a decision.

Interesting quirk of our friendship: I can usually be flexible about what we do but really need to know in advance who is going to be there, and she can usually be flexible about who's going to be there as long as she has a good sense of what we're going to do. It took us a little while to figure that out and start warning each other appropriately, but once we did things got a lot better!

It's really a crime that the writers didn't give us more Uhura-centric episodes because there are just so many things I want to know about her! This is also a new-ish ship for me, so the lore isn't quite as finalized as I'd like. If you see me changing things about our ship later, that's why!

Spock:

Ok, important warnings time. My selfship with Spock fills a very particular emotional role for me that causes me to be unusually protective of him and our relationship. I'm aware that this isn't exactly emotionally healthy, and that's something I'm actively working on. Part of the benefit of my ship with him is that he can fill this role rather than me putting it on a real person, which, yeah, wouldn't be great. A lot of this has to do with him putting me first.

To be clear, I view my ship with him as happening in one of many similar but distinct universes (there's a TNG ep I'm thinking of here) that's separate from both canon and other people's ships with him. That's why I say that our s/is probably can't be friends (unless we have some universe crossover stuff going on). I would never want to get in the way of another person's ship with him! And this is the division of things that makes it easiest for me to wholeheartedly support others' ships with him, which is something I very much want to be able to do. (What I'm trying to communicate, badly, is that I want to be clear that I don't view the way he thinks about me as being true anywhere outside of my ship with him.)

I do refer to him as my best friend, the platonic other half of my soul, and other similarly intense terms, which he reciprocates. We also have a minor telepathic bond (I have Headcanons about Vulcan telepathy and no one can stop me from using them). Our relationship really is strictly platonic, but if that's going to make you uncomfortable, the time to stop reading is now! I'm also always happy to work out more detailed tags if needed.

Now! On to the actual ship stuff. I've changed around the lore a little bit recently to be a little truer to the way I've been shipping with him for the past 6-7 years, so hopefully this is the final(ish) lore. There are several moments where if canon says otherwise I simply do not see it. I am looking away. My canon now :)

It's late, later than I should have been out, but I'm too young to know better and too excited to care. My cousins are playing in the sand out ahead of me, but I've had enough of the noise and the people for right now, so I'm doing what I do best: wandering off when I shouldn't. The beach is busy but the nearby hills are quiet, so I start to climb. Even at that age, I hate sand, and the stone staircase is a welcome relief.

I was so focused on the climb to see him and by the time I reach the top, I'm too exhausted to do anything but flop on the ground. As soon as I do that my eyes turn skyward and then I'm too focused on the stars to do much of anything else. Even with the lights around, it's a dazzling display. Most call it science, but to my untrained eyes there's a much simpler word: magic.

Between the exhaustion and the stars, it takes me several minutes to realize I'm not alone. A Vulcan boy I don't recognize is sitting on a bench a few feet away from me, staring at something in his lap and staying very still. I watch him for a while and when he still hasn't moved, I walk closer. He twitches - clearly, he knows I'm here - but keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his PADD. If I were older, I would have gone down the hill and this would have been the end of it.

But I wasn't older. I was young, and dumb, and perhaps most dangerously of all, I was curious. I didn't go down the hill. Instead, I walked up, pulled myself up to sit on the far end of the bench, and asked the question that would end up shaping the rest of our lives:

"Have you ever looked up?"

And he did.

I rambled about the stars and asked about his logic homework, and he watched the stars and patiently answered my questions. By the time we parted ways, I was smiling with his contact information tucked safely into a pocket and he watched my go with the corners of his lips pulled up into that classic Vulcan not-quite-smile.

My mom recognized his name and description as the son of Amanda Grayson, a friend of a friend, and she let me use her PADD to keep in touch with Spock until I was old enough for my own. He turned out to be a few years older than me and a lot of fun to be around with a subtle sense of humor that never failed to make me laugh. We'd hang out in person whenever I went to Vulcan or he came to Earth and we talked almost every day online when we were apart. He was (and is) my best friend, and we saw each other through the highs and lows of growing up. Even when his bullies got really bad and when my school social life went down the drain, we always had each other, and somehow that was enough.

Because of something something Vulcan brain development, the eligible age to apply to Starfleet is 20 rather than 16. (ooc this is my headcanon and I need it for our backstory to work, so shh.) I was certain he would apply for Starfleet Academy the moment he was eligible, and I think his decision to wait for a year shocked everyone. I asked him about it, wondering if there was something wrong. We'd talked for ages about how much he wanted to escape Vulcan, so why wasn't he now that he finally had the chance?

His response? "Not all humans treat me as you do. The bullying is unlikely to change, only its source. If I am to be bullied no matter my path, I will choose the one in which we are together."

I have never felt more honored in my life.

We applied for Starfleet together the next year. His father was devastated displeased that he did not choose the Vulcan Science Academy, my parents were upset that I was moving out so young, and we rolled up to Starfleet Academy as the resident pair of family disappointments. Good times.

The academy was a blast, though. We got to see each other! In person! Every day! I was there to stand up to the people who teased him, he was there to encourage me to make good choices, and we both were there to remind each other that sleep is a necessary biological function not to be ignored. We were both studying science, but he focused on the astrophysics side and I focused more on the biology side, so we didn't share too many classes, but we'd hang out all the time in between classes and we tried to take the same electives when we could. Having similar interests helped a lot on that front.

I was a weird child that had by now grown into a weird teenager, so I didn't have a ton of friends at first. Even when it started directly affecting his social life, Spock was never embarrassed to be seen with me, and though he claims that he would be treated the same without me... I doubt it. Still, though, it helped a lot to have him there, and he's never held it against me.

I did convince him to do a show with me once. He tries to hold that one against me but he had fun and we both know it. Besides, it's my job to drag him into illogical things sometimes :)

We graduated together but like so many close friends are, we were posted to different ships. It was a weird time for us. I was doing great, honestly. I was medicated for my chronic illness (finally!), in therapy (finally!), and I loved my ship and fellow officers. My job was interesting and engaging and I was having a blast. Spock, on the other hand, started to struggle a little bit. Though he always treated me like an equal, I think there was a part of his mind that always thought he was a little bit better than me, and seeing me succeed seemingly effortlessly where he was struggling was hard for him. We got through it, though, and he got some better accommodations (and later a transfer to a ship that fit him better) which made everything a lot better. I even ended up taking some engineering classes and wound up getting a degree in engineering too, just for fun.

Before we knew it, he was the first and science officer of the Enterprise and I was a lieutenant commander working for him. (I say working for him, but really it's a lot more like working alongside him. Most people in the science department assume that if you tell something to one of us and don't specifically say not to tell the other, we will, so you can basically report things to either of us.) I do some work for Scotty too, and Kirk likes to joke that I'm an honorary member of the bridge crew at this point. It was a funny joke right up until I started getting invited to briefings, but hey, who am I to complain?

Serving together is a lot of fun. I'm one of the only people on board who doesn't constantly pressure him to show his emotions, with the result that he is a lot more emotional with me. He knows that I don't view his moments of emotion as a reflection of how Vulcan he is or isn't, so he has nothing to gain by hiding them. Mostly, I don't comment on them, which is his preference.

While we're both happy to offer each other emotional support when needed, most of the time we end up just sitting with each other and letting them process it on their own. Between my emotional regulation issues and his I Am A Vulcan mentality, it's been a great way for us to show each other the support we crave without worrying about finding the perfect words.

Speaking of words, I'm one of very few people on the ship who speaks Vulcan. I actually learned it years ago because of him so we've been speaking it to each other for a while, and we take the Vulcan tendency to drop words to a truly ridiculous extent. Uhura tends to joke that we created our own language somewhere along the line, but it's a fun way to annoy Bones when he really gets on our nerves. He can't even complain about it because as it turns out having the ability to converse in a way no one else understands is very, very useful when a mission goes south. You can't really complain about something that's saved your life, now can you?

The telepathic bond (again, very minor and strictly platonic) came about when he had to meld with me on one such mission gone wrong. It wasn't planned, though we'd talked about it in the past and neither of us was upset by it. Bones tried to joke that our minds were so compatible that we were probably going to start dating now and immediately found himself on the receiving end of two death glares. Credit to him, he never made that joke again. We view each other like family anyway, so yeah. No.

But I like the bond we have! It's nice to know when he's uncomfortable but not saying anything and it's easier for me to tell when he's protesting for effect and really does want to go along with my bizarre illogical scheme and when he'd rather not. As someone with no real sense of social cues or sarcasm, it's a lifesaver. Besides, he's been a lot more comfortable with causal touch between us since it formed, which is great for me.

We also play a lot of D&D together. It's something I got him into but which he took to like a fish to water, and the lengths we go to to avoid scheduling conflicts for our weekly game night are probably a bit excessive, shall we say, but it helps that all the friends we'd normally have conflicts with end up getting invited too. He very rarely DMs, but when he does, you better hope someone in your party has a decent intelligence stat because his puzzles are amazing. Seriously, I don't think you've really played a puzzle based game of D&D until you've played one of his. Works of art, I tell you.

I could go on about him for hours, but I'll wrap it up here for time and length's sake. If you have any more specific questions, I think I've already effectively demonstrated that I'm incapable of shutting up about him!

#thank you for the ask!#this was a lot of fun!#my grumpy space dad #thrah t'nash-veh eh thrah t'du #uhura tag tbd #seriously. I should not have been enabled like this #kestrel go to bed challenge

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euilse · 4 years ago

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⟨ ZION MORENO. TRANS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, ILSE VASCONCELOS is actually a descendent of H E R M E S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old ART HISTORY MAJOR from PUEBLA, MEXICO has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite EMPATHETIC & IMPULSIVE.

hey hey! ella here, resident trash, here all day and night. have no life. soon won’t have college because i will fail due to my eonia addiction. oh well

.basic info

NAME: ilse maisy vasconcelos bernasconi

NICKNAME: none

GENDER: trans female

PLACE OF BIRTH: puebla, mexico

DATE OF BIRTH: june 26, 1997

AGE: twenty-three

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: demisexual

MAJOR: art history

COURSES: combat tactics 2, elemental studies 1

EXTRACURRICULARS: poetry club, sports editor in the school paper, traveling club. visual arts club vicepresident, volunteer service and charity club president

SPORTS: captain of the volleyball team

.background

tw: depression mention, bullying

Ilse Vasconcelos was born in Puebla, Mexico to Pilar Vasconcelos, a former Olympic medalist (diving). Her mother met Hermes at the 1996 Olympic games and they started a relationship shortly after. After almost a year together, Ilse was born and the three of them got to be a family for about two years before Hermes left. Even to this date, Ilse isn't quite sure why he left but she doesn't really care.

At the next Olympic Games, Pilar met another athlete: an Italian swimmer. From the start of their relationship Matteo became a father to Ilse and up until now she considers him her best friend. Matteo and Pilar married when Ilse was five and she took his last name, but kept her mother's last name as first.

Having grown up in a sporty family, it wasn't a surprised that Ilse was as athletic (although only her mother knew why she was a bit better than the rest). She practiced a bunch of sports and she would go every other weekend to football matches with her father. She took diving and swimming lessons from a young age, but when she discovered volleyball when she was ten she decided to focus on that one.

Ilse came out as transgender when she was ten years old and started transition when she was fifteen. Her parents at first had problem accepting it, but they eventually come to terms with it. Her classmates, on the other hand, were not as open-minded and she was bullied a lot which caused her to fall into a deep depression. Her parents were so worried that they decided to homeschool her instead which kinda help but also alienated her from people of her age.

She came back to school when she was seventeen and this time it went better, she also felt a lot more confident. She joined the volleyball team in her new school and pretty much her last two years of high school were good.

From a young age, Ilse found her true love in art. Her mother took her to painting lessons and from that moment on she was hooked. On her birthday, she would ask her mother to take her to 'La Capital' (Mexico City) to visit a new museum.

Hermes claimed her when she was fifteen years old. It was pretty weird to her. This guy or god, whatever, came to her life claiming to be her father and with the silly story that she was a demigod. It took her mother's confirmation for her to believe what seemed like a fantasy. Hermes offered to take her to the summer camp but she never went.

It wasn't until she turned eighteen that she began to be more curious about her powers and because she wanted to learn more she enrolled to Eonia.

.personality

Ilse has always been a very individualistic person. Growing up as an only child, she was left with no choice but to find ways to amuse herself. She’s most comfortable when she’s on her own, painting in her bedroom. She plunges into her world when she is in the middle of artistic composition. She paints, sculpts, dances, writes songs, and makes recipes simply because she feels the urge to do so as she processes information based on how it makes her feel inside. Although she often likes to be alone to create her art and may appear to be very calm, she is quite impulsive. She lives in the moment with little to no planning. Ilse is a free spirit who becomes immensely unhappy if others try to control her. Likewise, she will never try to control others, instead, she will encourage others to be free.

Inwardly she is competitive and a perfectionist, with her art and with herself. She is especially sensitive to pain and suffering and sympathizes with the pain of others. She has a remarkable gift with children, and almost always chooses to adopt the role of the ‘mom friend’. Ilse has a tendency not to express herself verbally but through her art. She might not be the best talker but she’s a great listener.

.powers

natural athletic abilities. from a young age, ilse discovered her love for sports. it started with her stepfather taking her to football matches and eventually, she found her true love in her school’s volleyball team. because of her height, she quickly became one of the best in the country. while she loves watching any sport, her heart is true to volleyball. she’s always had an instinct to move and staying active. while her athletic abilities are thanks to her godly parent, her interest in sports come from her mother who was an olympic athlete.

enhanced thievery: while she doesn’t really use this power in her daily life, ilse discovered it when she was a child. it was rather innocent. she wanted a hello kitty box of crayons one of her classmates had and after her mother refused to buy for her, she decided to take it and that was the start of her career as thief. as she grew up, she decided to only use this when it’s strictly necessary like when she wants a dress and it’s too expensive. however, she often dreams of breaking into the musée marmottan monet and steal her favorite painting: impression, sunrise. maybe one day she will.

chrimatakinesis: ilse adores gambling and of course she’s really good at it. she used to play poker every night with her stepfather and that only enhanced her skill. since arriving at eonia, she really hasn’t gambled that much but when she needs easy money she organizes an underground casino on the hermes premises. she doesn’t have savings lol, she just spends money as if she was jeff bezos’ child.

.headcanons

Speaks fluent Spanish, Italian, Greek, English and some Portuguese

Her favorite painter is Claude Monet and her dream is to steal as many paintings of him as she can to put them in her house.

She’s an excellent cook, unfortunately, she only cooks Mexican and Italian.

Back in Mexico she has a white persian cat named Nube. She facetimes with her and misses her so much.

Writes poetry but unlike her paintings she has never showed them to anyone.

Works at the Grecian Gallery.

PINTEREST | | WANTED CONNECTIONS

#euintro #i will give her a proper bio someday #love her pls #will write connections tomorrow #bullying tw #depression tw

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peepingtoad · 5 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / 50-50 (There’s a lot of love and a lot of hate, but I think many are actually pretty neutral on him too!)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / 50-50 (I’d say he may be an... acquired taste? Of course a lot of people I know here find him sexie so it’s hard to say for certain, heh. We may just be the weirdos of the fandom :P )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO

Are they underrated? YES / NO (Not in terms of ability, but underrated for just how complex and multi-layered he is, I’d say)

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (I honestly think he’s a man of many reputations, both in canon and in fandom :’D)

How strictly do you follow canon? — I’m very much a ‘use the bones of what we got in canon and do my best to flesh them out’ kinda roleplayer. There are some things that can be taken too easily at face value that I see fit to build upon. For example, I think Jiraiya’s feelings on the prophecy and his relationship with Konoha is something that could be too easily played off as simplistic, or like they were immovable constants. But that’s unrealistic for a man of his years and many experiences, so I try to put myself in his emotional setting at various points in his life, and trace how his feelings and behaviours change, if that makes sense?

I try to avoid saying that any of the writing was straight up wrong because it’s disrespectful to the creator. But especially for Jiraiya, who had such a significant role to play in the narrative that it sometimes took precedence over his actual character, I do find some of his actions, and the way some interactions were handled in the canon to be a little OOC... so I’ll work with it and try to spin it in a way that I feel fits how he was characterised.

Basically, I’d say that I follow canon, but I like to enrich it in areas that were lacking detail or a nuanced view that took in all the surrounding events of the time. After Jiraiya’s canon death, of course, that’s when more divergence comes in to my portrayal... otherwise I wouldn’t be able to play any post-war scenarios! But the essence of his character is the same, which I try to keep as close to canon as possible.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — A man of many experiences! You can bet that any topic that comes up, he’ll have some sort of amusing anecdote to share, or be able simply to talk shit about it. He's seen so much, and has a sensitive soul enough that he’ll give anyone a chance; he’s very open-minded and non-judgemental, and honestly is a humanitarian that wants to help those in need. Might leave your muse a little baffled as to how he could hold the status of ‘legend’, only to show it when they least expect it. You never quite know what you’re going to get with him: he’s generous and selfless, yet has many vices that seem selfish at times; he’s both a lover and a fearsome fighter; he’s immensely resilient at the same time as incredibly vulerable and damaged; he’s a himbo and a bit of a jock with the soul of a poet. Love him with no restraint and invite his love in return, and you’ll get not only a lover, but a devotee. Wears his heart on his sleeve... or does he? Chip away at him and find out!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — The pervy, flirty, jokey schtick could get grating, or come across as disingenuous. In romantic situations, he’ll keep quiet about putting a label on whatever it is, and beneath his overall sweetness and devotion there may be an underlying reek of commitment issues and a fear of admitting he is afraid. He also has a habit of deflecting negativity in general, and playing things off as if they don’t matter or they’re a joke, making him actually rather a difficult person to get to know the heart of. One might feel as if they’re getting nowhere with him...

... Either that, or they get the complete opposite. Yes, as equally as he can be guarded, he can overshare like crazy, and has a tendency to become codependent with those he gets attached to, which is inconsistent with his free-spirited nature, and how adept he is at keeping others at arm’s length from his less sunny side. This inconsistency might make him seem unreliable—if the fact he’s always off who-knows-where doesn’t do the trick already.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — I’ve been a big fan of the Sannin ever since I first read the Deadlock, but being a very young person at the time I perhaps couldn’t relate enough to people who had experienced so much to do them justice in my teenage fic-writing endeavours, so I remained on the sidelines enjoying content by other people (there may also have been a little bit of ‘what the fuck, why do I dig the old dude so much’ denial in there haha). I’ve picked up and dropped my obsession with the series several times over the years, and my love for those three seemed to grow each time. They really are ‘the lost generation’, and as the sole survivors—alongside having a huge impact on the plot, how the shinobi world is shaped, and the three main protagonists—there’s a lot of juicy material there, a lot of emotional background, along with decades of history that basically goes untapped in the canon.

Anyway, I digress. Coming to the Naruto RPC for the first time around this time 2 years ago at the age of 25, I made this blog and my Deidara one on a whim, but focused on the latter at first. Villains were always comfortable territory for me in my other RP experiences, and I think it made me doubt that I could possibly do someone who is frankly a lovely guy any justice, no matter how much I loved him. I even had the intention of making him fully Akatsuki/Missing-Nin AU at first. Yeah. That’s how stuck in my villain/anti-hero zone I was! But, I think in the end, the fact he actually isn’t a two-dimensional typical ‘hero’ was something I chewed over and realised would be incredibly enriching to write, worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. And being a little more mature and less angst-ridden myself by that point, I found I could resonate with his feelings and ideals in a way that I know I couldn’t have as a teen... but I was still tentative.

Anyway, after leaving his blog empty for a bit (with its placeholder URL ‘frogdaddy’, which sadly got hoarded by someone else), I cosplayed the old bastard, along with my partner as Orochimaru. We’d been stanning that particular ship and talking about how great the Sannin are in general for quite some time by that point, but being casually in character for fun while drunk off my tits at a boat party, was a bit of an epiphanic moment. Not long after that, I threw myself right into writing this chaotic-good old bastard with gusto, and here I still am :’)

What keeps your inspiration going? — Taking breaks to recharge as and when I need to. Seriously. The death of all my other blogs has been pressure (mostly from myself) to be there and force myself to put out regular content, so I went into this not thinking that way and it’s really helped!

Of course, there’s also the fact that there simply seems to be no shortage of areas I can delve into with this guy. Again, it’s his age and all the missing years in canon... but I think it’s also how much love he has and his genuine eagerness to engage with others that makes him one of the most naturally bountiful muses I’ve played. Because honestly? Most of my villain muses wanted people to just fuck off :’D this guy is open to everything.

That aside, I guess I just gel with him more than I ever expected to. I’ve changed a lot as a person and gained more confidence since various areas of my life got better, and I really just vibed with this chill, funny, romantic, pervy, big-hearted energy. I enjoy angst, but my real love is peppering the serious and heartbreaking with romance and comedy—and isn’t that just befitting of him? Writing through his eyes also helps to keep my outlook positive, so that keeps me stuck on him as much as the seemingly limitless content potential.

And this is without even going into my cross-fandom AU ideas I have on the back-burner. Honestly, they’re there but I want to put a real effort into them while keeping his essence the same, which for some, involves brushing up on my lore!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO / RARELY. (depends on whether I get a flash of inspiration—which mostly comes with random asks that happen to stir up an idea for a scene, such as this one (NSFW warning))

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / 50-50 /NO. (I tend not to take things personally but am also very passionate—call it my innate Leo-ness!)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — Hmmm. I haven’t actually had any critique on my portrayal, so I’m not sure haha! I’d say if it’s constructive, then I’ll take it into account and consider it, especially if it’s a case where it helps me realise I’ve perhaps not gotten across what I intended to very well. But I’m also quite fond of my portrayal in its essence, so I may end up just thanking the person for their opinion and carry on as usual :P

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — Absolutely! I’ve had some wonderful ones recently and it’s exactly the kick I need to get ideas out, some of which I’ve had on the back-burner but not had a framework within which to write it without it getting derailed. I definitely appreciate a question that will keep me at least a little on-topic, otherwise if I go off on my own volition I really tend to... well, go off! Even if a question is a similar topic to something I’ve already done, it’s a good exercise for me to go back to the similar headcanon and see if I can build further on it, deviate, and link it to show what past thoughts I’ve been working with. A great way of keeping some consistency in my portrayal while making improvements, I find! And then of course I’ve had some questions that are entirely new morsels for thought, and it leads me to something new and fresh, which I greatly appreciate.

Basically, any questions at all, fire away! I may take a while but I will get to them eventually!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — Yeah. I mean I think it’s just polite to present a reason as to why not, instead of just being like ‘this is wrong/a bad take’ or whatever. Source material is down to personal interpretation, so if I draw different ideas from it to another person after discussion, then we can simply agree to disagree on it.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — They are welcome to disagree with me I guess? So long as they’re respectful and don’t then treat me as if my interpretation is ‘AU’ or talk about ‘canon Jiraiya’ as if he’s obviously a different entity to my own, then disagree away. But if prompted enough, know that I will most likely defend my portrayal with what I consider to be justification from the source material :P I did pay close attention to it, after all, and I do consider my portrayal to align well with it.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — Depends on the nature of it and the conduct, really? Like, people are allowed to dislike characters. I myself find a couple of characters pretty annoying or don’t particularly care for them (granted, usually it’s in a love-to-hate or simply a ‘this character doesn’t interest me’ way), but that doesn’t affect how I behave towards the RPer of a character. It’s just manners, really. People tend to RP characters because they like them, so why would you take negativity right to their doorstep, in this space they’ve made as an expression of enjoyment for, and to develop said character?

There’s been some people who admitted to me that they didn’t care much for Jiraiya, but then began to like him more with my portrayal and that’s more than fine; I take it as the highest compliment in fact. It’s also the kind of open-minded attitude I like to have with portrayals of characters I don’t necessarily like or have much interest in, because by and large, people do tend to add more depth and nuance than the busy and character-packed canon allowed.

However, if it’s the type of hate that’s got its own devoted circle of bitter bitches, who seem to use so much energy hating a character... then please, don’t engage me. Doesn’t matter who the character is, don’t expect me to follow/keep following your negative ass if it’s constant on the dash—and if the target character is any of the Sannin then frankly I’ll have probably blocked/blacklisted in a heartbeat. The ‘critical’ views of them tend to diminish them as humans, diminish the context and events that surrounded their choices, and in a way that I find is a gross double standard compared to what people will allow other (read: young, attractive, fandom faves, ‘babies’ or ‘beans’) to get away with and excuse the behaviours of. I don’t need that kinda negative energy sullying my hobby, nor do I need moral superiority that isn’t applied consistently across the board.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — Absolutely! I meticulously fret and check, and cringe when I get a reply and happen to spot errors while rereading what I wrote before it! I edit a lot but don’t always pick up on errors, so I’m more than happy to have it pointed out. Chances are, I’ll be far more brutal to myself about it than anyone else would be!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — Overall, yeah. I’m not possessive or clingy (I don’t think) and don’t expect the world from people, nor for them to focus on or favour me or be super fast. I just expect the same respect in return. Having said that, I will express it when I don’t like something or it makes me uncomfortable, provided we’re familiar enough, because if we’re strangers I’d feel like I was coming across as entitled to your energy and emotional labour. I do my best to be diplomatic about it though, and rest assured it doesn’t mean I’m forever mad at you or turned off in any way just because I have a small grievance. I just find that being honest with each other rather than letting things pile up and fester makes a friendship more solid, and basically more genuine and long-lasting.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @dokuhebi Tagging: Whoever hasn’t done this yet!

#this got super long yikes #{dash games}#{ooc}#{long post}

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theliterarywolf · 5 years ago

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So... Let's talk about Hetalia. Controversies, Specifically.

Tagging @apply-force-too-begin since they’re the one who was interested.

Hetalia was one of my first big fandoms outside of 'The Big Three' anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece) and outside of video games (mostly whatever wee babby weeaboo me could get on the Gamecube).

And, you know what? It's a dumb, silly anime about stereotypes, poking fun at the absurdities of History, and one's relationships with clashing cultures. It's dumb... But, remember, we all need our daily thirty minutes of dumb. And some of the characters are cute.

And, you know what? Most of the most engaging aspects of the fandom were those who used the initial shallow splash of history that the anime gave them to actually research and make engaging, well-written, culturally-sensitive content.

Of course, I'm not going to ignore how... Over-the-top some members of the fandom have been. We've seen how, whenever recent political conflict or natural disaster have occurred, we have to remind younger members of the Hetalia fandom to not cutsiefy it with the Hetalia characters. Examples that come to mind are: when the conflict between Russia and Ukraine was surging up, kids kept trying to draw art of 'Russia just wants his big sister back~!', and the last major earthquake that hit Japan that had people making fanart of the Japan character which, while some was tasteful and was meant to bring awareness and donations for Disaster Relief, not... all of it was...

Hell, that’s not even bringing into account the last time I went to Anime Expo (way back during Hetalia’s hayday), I was walking around and saw a bunch of Russia and Baltic State cosplayers being interviewed by the news and the one dressed up in a USSR uniform was holding up a Communist flag and shouting ‘Whoo! SOVIET TAKEOVER!!’

However, one thing that I have noticed, while researching for this write-up, was this:

Most of the controversies and pieces of fandom-wank that have surrounded Hetalia and its fandom... Aside from one instance... Are the results of the Western-fandom and Western-localization of the anime via Funimation.

Aside from one... Most of the issues surrounding Hetalia are due to the West and not even the source media in of itself.

So, with that in mind, let's talk about the main controversies of both Hetalia and its fanbase.

Controversy 1 – The South Korea Controversy/Protests

As I recently answered a question about this, so I'll just pull that answer for this segment:

'To summarize it: there’s a Hetalia character meant to represent South Korea. As every Hetalia character has a gag related to them (America gorges himself on fast food and constantly proclaims himself to be the Hero, Italy is cowardly, Germany is constantly angry, China constantly builds Chinatowns wherever he goes and sells bootleg merchandise, etc), so did S. Korea.

His gag was calling all the other Asian countries ‘big brother’ as well as groping the chests of male characters (China and Japan mostly), proclaiming ‘these mountains belong to South Korea, da ze!’

Of course, people would draw pictures of S. Korea doing his thing but one day during a meeting between a bunch of South Korean politicians and representatives, someone brought out a piece of fanart that depicted S. Korea groping Japan’s chest with the latter looking embarrassed and what not.

They interpreted the character as being an offensive, lecherous stereotype that was somehow belittling S. Korea’s worth as a country.

There were a bunch of small protests until, finally, Himaruya Hidekazu (the creator of Hetalia) just decided to say “you know what? Fine! I’m not getting rid of the character but he’ll never appear in the anime adaptation, okay?!’

So… Yeah! Fun times…'

Magnitude of Controversy – MAJOR

Like... In what universe is 'this meme hurt my feewings, we need to take VALUABLE TIME DURING GOVERNMENT FORUMS to talk about it RATHER THAN OTHER PRESSING ISSUES' a good response? And the fact that people took to the streets to protest? Come on, guys! There's so much more to worry about in this world...

Controversy 2 – Emperor Heliogabalus and Himaruya's 'Transgender Erasure'

There was a section of time where Himaruya Hidekazu, rather than focusing on the nation characters of the series, made chapters and updates about certain historical figures. They were all done for laughs while interspersing various bits of trivia and facts about them.

One of these updates centered around the Roman emperor Heliogabalus (or 'Elagabalus'). And this is where certain portions of this hellsite got soooooo upset...

You see, Himaruya titled the update centered on Heliogabalus as 'The Emperor Who Tried to Live as a Woman... Even Though He Was Really a Guy'.

Almost immediately people were typing up callout posts about how 'transphobic' Himaruya was for the title and 'how dare he misgender my precious trans baby~!' or 'this just goes to show how ignorant Japanese people are to Western history' and so many more, all because Himaruya didn't use out-and-out female pronouns for Heliogabalus.

Now. Mm, two things!

One! This was during the time when Himaruya had an open blog where, not only did he post pictures and updates about where in the world he was traveling and what he was researching, but it also had an inbox that was open for people to send insight to him.

So, if people were really incensed by this, you would think that they would use such a means to let a creator know 'hey, this is kind of problematic; can you edit it to show this information', right?

Right?

NO ONE tried to inform Himaruya of their upset; they literally didn't want an answer, they just wanted to be upset!

But, here's the kicker: the guy that all of these people were stanning for? Emperor Heliogabalus?

WASN'T FUCKING TRANS!!

The real Heliogabalus was a sadistic little shit who was connivingly put on the throne by his mother via a bunch of espionage and assassinations... Who, as thanks, had his own mother murdered once he was emperor. Other wonderful exploits of this 'icon' that tumblr kids decided to stan was:

Getting politicians and countrymen drunk and then, while they were passed out, brought in lions to kill and eat them

Deciding 'fuck Jupiter, Helios is my husbando – We're all going to worship him now!'

Completely wrecking Rome's monetary system

Promising favors to his lovers (whom he called his 'husbands' despite not making anything official) that strictly contradicted favors to his other lovers

And just generally being a hot mess

So... why were tumblr children so insistent on him being a transgender woman?

You ready for this?

Okay.

Because he occaisionally dressed in women's clothing and called his male lovers his 'husbands'.

Yeah.

One of the earliest case of tumblr children trying to ruin someone's life because they didn't follow their headcanons.

Magnitude of Controversy – Honestly, this was just fandom-wank. But it was one of the earlier instances of fandom brats using serious terms (transphobia) to justify being upset at a creator not following their headcanons.

Controversy 3 – The Passover Photoshoot

…

I'm sorry, just...

Everytime I remember or have to go over this one, I have to stop and reflect; maybe grab a drink.

…

Okay.

So, pretty early into the Western reaches of the Hetalia fandom, a group of friends and Hetalia fans decided to meet up together at a mall for a cosplay photoshoot.

Okay. Cool. Fine.

They were all dressed up as their favorite characters from the series! Germany, Austria, Hungary, P-Prussia, Holy... Roman Empire...

Ahem. Okay. Cool. Fine.

So, they get to the mall and start taking pictures. But then someone in the group gets the amazing idea for everyone to do certain poses.

I... You know, why did I start this, I could have just not done thi--

Nazi salutes. You had a bunch of dumb kids dressed up as Germanic nations. Performing Nazi salutes and shouting 'Heil Hitler'.

Now, as bad as this was... you could have just drawn it out as shitty edgelord humor; we still have plenty of that going on today.

H-however. There were two factors that made this photoshoot 50 Shades of Tasteless.

Number one. This photoshoot took place during Passover.

And number two. The mall that this photoshoot took place at...

WAS JUST A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP FROM THE UNITED STATES HOLOCAUST MUSEUM!!!

This is the one, THE ONE, instance where, anytime someone talks about 'lol, young Hetalia fans are so cringey', this is what pops into my head.

Those of us older members of the fandom can never fucking forget this. Yeah, the perpetrators were called out; yeah, they learned their lessons, yeah it opened up a conversation about appropriate behavior in fandom. But this one event will always remain as the big 'Ooh, baby, nooooo! What are you doing?!' moment in the fandom.

Even moreso than what the current batch of hatedum is about.

Magnitude of Controversy – Huge. The South Korea controversy was discussed on a governmental scale, but the Passover Photoshoot is what remains as the biggest mark on the fandom.

Controversy 4 - FUCKING FUNIMATION!!

Okay, I...

This one is so infuriating because it’s the result of Funimation just not giving a DAMN.

So, Hetalia got popular enough to be localized! Yay... And it was going to be handled by Funimation. Yay... They do quality work... Sometimes.

*kicks the Black Butler dub into the sun*

So, they dubbed Hetalia. And, you know what? So many questionable decisions went into this fucking dub.

You have Vic Mignogna! You! *clap* Have! *clap* Vic! *clap* Mignogna! You could have easily put him as one of the Axis characters or the Allied characters and you...

Don’t use him...

Until three seasons down the line...

And then you have him as Greece.

A character who barely says anything.

... And this was WAY before the clusterfuck of KickVic, so they really had no excuse.

Oh, also! For China, who is a main character, maybe we should have an actual voice-actor?

Pssh! Fuck that shit, let’s just have some random chick from accounting voice him.

... They literally had some random-chick from accounting do an overly stereotypical Chinese accent and said ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

And she gave us such... wonderful line-reads as: during the Hetalia movie Paint It, White! --

“SUCK BALLS! I knew za fortune cookie today was bad ruck~!”

But as bad as the dub got sometimes (Oh God, I’m having war flashbacks of Russia...), the exchange from the dub that people constantly point to as ‘see! This show was antisemitic all along!’ were these:

Exchange 1 -

S. Italy/Romano - ‘Hey asshole, I have a surprise for you~!’

Germany - ‘What is it? Another Jew?’

And, you know what? As asinine and idiotic as that brief exchange was...

IT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

Funimation, in their infinite wisdom, wrote that in and thought ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

So, there goes another issue of ‘problem that only existed because of the idiocy of a Western presence’.

Magnitude of Controversy - Well, people are still talking about it, despite it literally being because of Funimation’s laziness, so...

'Controversy' 5 – The Civil War fanart

So, this segment will be short because it doesn't even need to exist. But, you may have noticed an upsurge in people hating on the series again; even going so far as to raid Discord servers for fans of the series with gore.

Hell, I even scrolled past one person doing a 'call to arms' for people to spam any server that has to do with Hetalia as a big 'gotcha'.

And you wanna know where this fandom-wank started?

Someone on tumblr re-posted an old piece of... questionable chibi fanart of Confederate!America and Union!America. Union!America is hiding a slave woman behind him while shouting at Confederate!America to 'Pick your own damn cotton!'

(deep breath... okay)

And, while the art in of itself is... not great, the fact that it is an old piece of fanart and that someone posted it onto tumblr for the 'lol, look at this cringe' lolz, is what rallied some people to start shitting on fans of the show and raiding servers.

There also may have been some drama over on picrew by some teenage LGBT user lashing out at the whole 'stop spamming Picrew with gay shit' sentiment and then some edgelord over on this hellsite screencapping their game and talking about 'lol, of course it would be a cringey Hetalian to post some dumb shit like this; get off the site, queer' but, honestly, this last one, while being the reason why people are acting dumber than usual, is the most inconsequential.

Magnitude of the Controversy – It would be minimal at best, especially compared to the other ones in this write-up, but like I said, it does have some trickling into the current hatedumb.

So, yeah, here was my little write-up/mini-dive into the madness. You guys can let me know if you want more insight or if you have any questions, and I love you and buh-bye!

#fandom-wank #fandom history

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scendant · 5 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

tagged by: @zhrets aka THE stinky boy, Thank 4 teh Tag-desu uwu *glomps* tagging: @foxcharmed / @heroeth / @garuvusu (do it twice i dare you gabby) / @icarise

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / KINDA

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon? / I follow canon as much as I can, but it’s important for me to note that Elesis has many versions of herself depending on exactly which time I write her. For the most part, for panfandom interactions, I go for a more general approach incorporating canon into her story (as she did travel solo across dimensions for a hyper-extended period of time), but making it so that it wouldn’t have a tremendous effect on the actual canon of the story (by making her forget every world where she’d traveled, which gives opportunity for plots to revolve around that). I try to follow canon but, the game was a 2008 KMMORPG that was a patchwork mess and character identity is left highly to fandom and individual interpretation. My Elesis is nearly an original character at this point. I’ve thought about what made sense for her for a long time. She is a childhood character that had a significant impact on why I decided to rp, the kind of person I am today, and liking her and maining her in the original game inspire a lot of my love for similar characters.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. / Elesis Sieghart provides a lot of introspection. She is interesting because she is multifaceted. She is a leader---a Savior, going by the way canon sees her. But she’s not. Several times in canon, namely in her background and in an implied alternate dimension, she leans towards revenge over justice. Her goal has been, and always has been, to enact revenge on the villainess who took her father away from her. Her reaction to seeing her father die in front of her is anger, and then a desire for vengeance. In the alternate universe mentioned, she is so overtaken with rage that she transforms into a shell of herself consisting of her determination and her desire to kill----something that isn’t common among characters like her. Likewise, all throughout canon, she forced her way into a leadership position that, gradually, she begins to doubt and resent. She was brash, had an ugly personality, trampled over others’ opinions and yet---she cares about them so much. She’s a leader because she treats everyone she meets as equals, but she isn’t a leader-type because she’d rather seek anger in her friends’ name rather than protecting them in the present. Elesis always, always, looks towards the past for her actions rather than the present and she is fundamentally flawed as a protagonist. Not to mention, she is selfish and she takes her enjoyment of battle to extremes. Rather than being a forgiving and kind protagonist, she is ruthless and nearly totalitarian in her desire to fight over doing the right thing. She would rather die than retreat for the safety of her friends. She is angry, but it’s kept inside. She is lustful for violence, but she has to keep up the image of a good leader. She’s constantly on a breaking point one way or another, and I love that about her and I hope my interactions can spark some of that curiosity to go beyond what she is on the outside.

She’s a character that has a lot of potential for relationships. She has so many experiences that have changed her over and over again that she cherishes and is referred back to often. She’s a lot of contradictions in one woman, and to weasel your way into that takes a lot of effort and it’s rewarding. That’s how I want to portray her.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). Elesis isn’t digestible. She’s kind of basic looking and her words are far and few in between. I think she’s a very difficult character to love----she’s an easy character to gloss over because she’s not bombastic like a lot of others are. Speaking not so much from a fandom perspective (because she is very loved in the fandom, namely GC’s Korean fandom, where she’s one of the most popular characters) but from the perspective of roleplaying and seeing the kinds of characters people tend to prefer----Elesis is just not it. She’s not that consumable, and threading with her (and me in general) takes a ton of time and back and forth before she gives way to cuter threads or in-depth things. She’s not really defined by anything outright. It can easily be said that she isn’t anything. Her character doesn’t seem consistent----she’s a lot of things at once, rather than being “a good girl” or “an evil woman” or “a villain” or “sweet and candy-like” or “a sultry femme fatale”----she’s none of the easily definable. She’s a lot of everything, but she isn’t any one of those descriptions. She’s a protagonist but she doesn’t act like one. She’s a warrior but she longs for something more normal, something more regular. She’s a knight but she has never been knighted. She’s not easy to take in and it can seem very pretentious, to make one character absolutely nothing. It’s off-putting and it turns people off. Also, I don’t tend to talk about her until prompted to, nor do I talk on the dash a lot about her, nor do I have many followers in the first place. All of those things make her a character that people might just not want to write with, and that’s 100% okay.

What inspired you to rp your muse? / She’s important to me. After leaving tumblr for 2-ish years following a lack of interest and seeing how toxic the dashboard was and how toxic the rpc twitter community was, I left and I didn’t look back until now. In the end, though, I want to write. Writing makes me happy. rping Elesis makes me insanely happy. I never brought her to tumblr because I didn’t want her to be ruined for me, and I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m confident enough in my own identity and my love for this character that I’ve been thinking of in silence for years to put it out in public and start writing with old friends again.

What keeps your inspiration going? / I love one (1) beautiful titty redhead sword woman. 8+ years in my lil’ brain still going strong 3:

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO (though I want to)

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES (all of my replies tend to be drabbles 3:>) / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? / Truthfully---no. Not about Elesis. About any other character, or rather---about every other character besides Elesis, I will accept criticism. But I’ve thought about Elesis for way too long and for way too many years of my life, changing her as I go, so much so that it’ll feel too personal to me to accept criticism. But if it were any other character, I’d readily accept it.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? / Absolutely please please please please---it’s so hard to talk to people one-on-one about her as is, as it is for everyone about their own muses. I love questions. I love answering them.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? / I’d be curious, truthfully. But it’s not bad. Anyone can disagree and if that’s the case, but ultimately, my headcanons for Elesis are my own and that’s not going to change even if someone else told me it was “wrong” or “bad”.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? / I don’t really care. I’ve thought about this stupid meathead woman for far to long to feel offended at someone else’s disagreement of how I write her. Plus, Elesis Sieghart, as well as every single character of the Grand Chase, can have many, many interpretations due to how vague and up in the air their canon information is. It’s just how it is...

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? / The only situation where I’d feel upset would be if it were a close friend telling me this after a while of talking about her---and it’s happened before. But overall, it made me sad for a minute and then it was “whatever”. They love her now, and things are good and right in the world. Someone else’s dislike of Elesis doesn’t really effect me outside of close friendships.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? / Absolutely! If something is off, please tell me or correct it in the reply <3

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? / I’d hope so. I don’t view rp as my life or as a main hobby, so I don’t tend to be here often and I write as I feel like it. As a mun I kind of just write here as I please because I know the people who are interested will continue to be interested and those who aren’t, I’ll know with time. In terms of friendships and rp, I do like to be talked to if I share my discord because I don’t share it often. I want to be able to develop and write and do all of those fun things I never got to do in the past due to the fact that when I used to rp as a main hobby, I was a minor---shipping back then was difficult for me, as a minor. 3: But now that I’m a lot older and, well, Legal, I can do a lot more things and explore more dynamics that I felt like I just wasn’t mature enough to do in the past. I guess, in that case, I’m a bit more higher maintenance. I hope I come off as easygoing, but I do get very intense about writing, I like it so much.

#MEMES / post #OUT OF CHARACTER / post #3:> )

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moiraineswife · 7 years ago

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Autistic!Kaz Headcanons

Just bc I can. You should all read @barrelrat‘s initial post about this that initially got me thinking this way/that inspired a few of the following. But basically I couldn’t sleep last night so here we are.

-Kaz longing for the quiet, peaceful familiarity of the farm when he first comes to Ketterdam. The city is too big, too loud, too bright, too crowded, too much. Everything overwhelms him for the first few weeks, and he clings to Jordie as the only stable, familiar anchor that he has.

-He picks up magic/sleight of hand quickly/easily because in addition to being a special interest, the constant, repetitive movements he practiced over and over again necessary to let him master the skills are stims. He does this a lot unconsciously. One of his favourites is manipulating small stacks of coins in his hands, or shuffling packs of cards.

-One of the things that makes him so successful with magic, with conning, with life tbh is his Need to know why. (this is canon, and I love it, so it’s not really a hc but see if I care) His plans are so detailed, so meticulous, and generally go so well because of how thoroughly he understands each and every detail of them. It’s not enough to know that, for instance, Wylan’s timed bombs will go off when he says they will, Kaz needs to understand the mechanics behind them. This helps him spot weaknesses, flaws, and patterns, and is one of the things that makes him so successful.

-Kaz being touch averse before Jordie’s death. Only now there are images and grief attached to the aversion. That makes it worse but also, in a twisted kind of way, better. Because at least now there’s a Reason behind it, and he can understand it.

-Kaz plans everything. From breaking into the Ice Court, to basic, every day to-do lists. He can do it all mentally, and keep track of everything that way, but he likes writing it all down. IT’s a way of taking control and it’s grounding/calming. Probably has an old blackboard/some chalk in his office at The Slat. It’s stimmy and it means he can doodle elaborate lists and plans all over it.

-Most of his stims are small things that he can hide. The streets worked out the notable ones from him a long time ago. He strokes the head of his cane, tracing all of the deep lines and groves in it, lingering on patches that are especially smooth. He flexes his hands - the feeling of the leather gloves curling around them is especially Good. Is also prone to leg dancing and finger tapping (especially to music. He picks out the beats of any nearby music and taps along to the them) But they’re all things that he can be discreet about. He used to hum, but when he was abandoned on the streets it was too much of a giveaway and he trained himself to stop.

-Kaz saying he has a headache when he becomes overloaded because he doesn’t know how else to explain that he needs to leave this place now.

-First signs of him heading towards a meltdown is always irritability. He becomes v easily frustrated, snaps sharply if interrupted, becomes frantic if he can’t easily find something, and is agitated and irritated by even small sounds in his vicinity. Will murder you for being too Loud when he’s like this because he just can’t deal with it.

-Never has meltdowns in front of other people. He instinctively suppresses them in public/on a job. This typically causes a massive shutdown afterwards. he locks himself in his room, turns off all the light, and buries himself in his bed where it’s dark and quiet. He refuses to see anyone during that time, and everyone knows not to bother him/to let him recover in peace.

-Has shutdowns more frequently than meltdowns. Becomes nonverbal during them, very withdrawn and unresponsive - typically the only communication anyone gets out of him then is nods/shakes of the head.

-Bad trauma days make his sensory issues much, much worse. Some days he can’t leave his room because the very feel of the air on his skin is too much. He won’t even let Inej see him on those days, he needs to be alone to be able to meltdown/stim and process everything the way he needs to.

-Occassionally becomes utterly Consumed by short but very very intense special interests. Once developed one in baking, it only lasted about a week but it was Intense. He was covered in flour for days and was constantly trying new things, and tweaking old recipes to make them completely perfect. Only Kaz could turn cake-making into a form of science. He experimented with different methods of mixing, different amounts of flour, the order he added the ingredients in etc etc etc. The Dregs were baffled but delighted. Nina swears she has never eaten better waffles in her entire life.

-His cane becomes a comfort object, he gets really angsty if he doesn’t have it close at hand at all times. His gloves are comfort objects too, even if he manages to stop wearing them all the time, he always keeps them on him. Inej brings him back a small, smooth, polished stone she found on her travels - it becomes a comfort object, too. He always has it in his pocket.

-Can recreate maps/building plans he’s studied incredibly accurately....But he has no sense of direction. Frequently gets lost in The Slat. Only manages to navigate the city bc he’s carefully memorised maps/routes/landmarks.

-APD has him threatening to gag Jesper at least twice a week because ‘I can’t process two different speakers/conversations at once, Jesper shut up.’

-Loves listening to Wylan play flute. Will legit sit and listen to him quietly for hours. Wylan starts noticing when Kaz is getting overloaded and, if he’s able, will discreetly play for a little while to help ground him.

-One time Inej changed her perfume an he became so irritated and bothered and he couldn’t understand why which was almost more frustrating. Eventually she realised what was wrong.

-Hates clothes with high/tight collars, they feel like they’re strangling him.

-I’m not entirely sure if this is possible Heartrender wise, or rather, if it was possible pre-parem but, like, humour me okay? He asks Nina to use her abilities to lessen the quality of his hearing/eyesight/touch, just slightly, and only for short periods of time, but it really helps when he’s becoming overloaded.

-Will cut you if you fuck with his routine/his plans in any way. (Always has v precise, detailed plans and no, we can’t go there first, because if we go there first then x, y, z will happen, and we won’t be able to do that, and the world will end no just everybody do as I say I have worked this shit out)

-Absently stroking Inej’s hair = The Best Stim.

-The pickiest of picky eaters.

-Kaz ‘I don’t like new things’ Brekker. Nina despairs over him bc he orders exactly the same thing every single time they go out for anything to eat.

-One time a restaurant took his item off their menu and Kaz Twitched uncomfortably until the owner told him they kept a few of the necessary ingredients on-hand for him so he could still have it. All of Ketterdam relaxed and a shrine was later built to this good woman’s sense.

-Had to carefully teach himself to read each individual person’s tone/expressions/body language etc for each job. He constantly studies people and improves his understanding of them - it’s like watching for tells in a fight/card game, but with everything. Keeps very detailed, very extensive notes. Doesn’t realise that not everyone has to do this until Nina spots his notes on her and is just like ??? Kaz ??? is this necessary ?????

-Dsypraxia!Kaz - performs incredible precise, delicate, deft lock-picking one minute. Bangs into the corner of a desk the next bc it was moved an inch to the right of its usual spot.

-One day, Mathias decides to be ‘helpful’ and sets about fixing up The Slat. Kaz walks in and freezes. ‘No.’ ‘But the floorboards were creaking here so-’ ‘No.’ ‘The roof leaked a little, I thought-’ ‘No.’ ‘The carpets were-’ ‘No.’ ‘The paintwork could use a little freshening u-’ ‘No.’ Kaz threatens to drown him in the fresh tin of paint he has open and ready next to him and methodically undoes all of Mathias’ fixes until the Slat is creaking, whistling, leaking, and tripping people up as it should.

-One time Nina got bored and decided to rearrange the furniture ‘for a change’. This did not go down well.

-Gunshots are sensory hell tbh.

-Views literally everything in terms of business arrangements bc it’s the only way he’s learned to really make sense of social interactions?? People are loyal to him bc he knows their secrets, and bc he’s the most beneficial to their interests than any other gang leader in Ketterdam. People will do favours for him bc he’s done things for them in the past/would do in the future. ‘I will make you waffles today, and you will promise to help me with my sensory shit at a later date when I need you to. The deal is the deal.’ ‘Uh...Kaz...We’re friends?????’ Kaz: *this does not compute* *Nina sighs and just nods and yes, yes, u strange boy, just prepare me my waffles*

-He slowly starts to understand things on a more personal/intimate/informal level when he’s with Inej and they start getting closer. But he still, at the end of the day, rationalises/makes sense of everything via a structure that’s simple, and logical to him, and that’s by viewing it as a job. Inej is patient with him, and pretty understanding...As long as he never gets to the point of, like, ‘I have kissed you three times today, this equates to a ten minute leg massage, I would like to cash this in now, please.’ (He never does. (Except once when he was teasing her about it and she just like ffs, kaz, u had me for a minute there.))

-Has a ‘mutually beneficial relationship’ with a stray cat he insists he hasn’t adopted. He feeds it and gives it somewhere warm to sleep. In return it is an A++++ stim toy. V soft and it’s a great, warm presssure stim when it curls up in his lap which is obviously the only reason he lets it do this. But he has not adopted it, this is strictly a business arrangement- I can see you rolling your eyes at me, Nina. (Its name is ‘Demjin.’)

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liibertus · 6 years ago

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Hey listen no one asked but I still think of these a lot

So I had linked this post introducing Lib, but there’s more and since it took me more than like .3 seconds to find these again I’m making my own reference post for introductory/promotional images for the KG kids. Will also include a lot of headcanons for this blog as well as @lvche, @khxra, @sonitvs, and @axisara.

I’m obviously biased, so first is Lib’s:

“Growing up alongside Nyx, Libertus was always the upbeat and outspoken one. When the situation turns serious, he must confront his fear and prove is valor.”

as I said before, I find it interesting, and perhaps this is an outdated observation, that Libertus was very much portrayed as the “kind of a loser best friend,” which, by this summary, isn’t true at all. To each their own, of course, but this struck me as a contrast between the two boys, making Nyx a bit more reserved and mild as a child. Or perhaps just the beginnings of the cool guy we see in the movie. But strictly from what we see in the film, I had originally imagined Nyx to be rather outgoing and popular, though it seems that, had they a group growing up, it might have been Libertus who was more the leader with Nyx’s cool demeanor at his side. And these are the headcanons I go with on this blog, unless a Nyx I am interacting with has different hcs ofc.

Next, ofc, Nyx’s, all this stuff common knowledge now, though:

“Saved by King Regis as a child, Nyx repays his debt by serving the Kingsglaive with distinction. His unique ability to wield the King’s magic and epic exploits in combat have earned him the moniker of “hero” among his peers.”

This is all pretty well known and accepted at this point, but I would like to point out the small implication as to how rare being able to use the King’s magic is. As we know from Comrades, there are far more Glaives than we see even in the background of the movie, so take from this what you will. Again, sorry there wasn’t too much else I have to say on this. Promise there’s more to come.

Next, Crowe:

“Crowe grew up an orphan on the outskirts of Lucis. Her rare gift of magic earned her a place in the Kingsglaive. Her fellow soldiers are the only family she knows.”

Okay so, again it has been quite a while since I have looked into the generally accepted fanon, but I remember being a bit shocked that Crowe wasn’t Galahdan like Nyx and Libertus. I think there is a snippet somewhere of Nyx and Libertus stumbling across a young Crowe somewhere, so someone do link me or let me know if I am crazy. The other thing that surprised me is there’s a lot of hostility toward Glaives as being outsiders. But I would think that, despite being on the outskirts, Crowe might be shown just a bit less aggression as she is Lucian, if not Insomnian. Though I doubt most people cared and just lumped her in, it is something to think about I think. What’s more is I do want to also specifically note the strong familial ties she feels toward the Glaive. There’s some mention of this in the movie too, and I am very much supportive of the idea that the group was somewhat like a rather large, extended family.

Now, Luche:

You may be suprised I did him before Pelna, but there is a personal headcanon I want to tie into their snippets here, so bear with me. Luche was also posted before Pelna’s but that’s kind of an aside. The previous three also just have named actors and actresses for image descriptions, but here we finally get an additional line.

“Respect is earned. ... A leader among the Glaives, Luche’s intellect has earned the trust and respect of his comrades.”

Couldn’t be shorter or sweeter, I think. As I will repeat many, many times I am sure, my memories of the mass accepted headcanons may have changed, but I do remember this being relatively accepted. However, I would like to point out there is no ill feelings in this item specifically. He has earned the Glaive’s respect and it seems very well implied that they choose his leadership because they trust his judgement. I think this is very important as, in the movie, I moreso got the impression that Luche was a boot-licking fool appointed as an underling to Drautos. And while there might have been some other things going on, I personally stand by his position among his peers being gained through their choosing, not Drautos’s.

And now, Pelna:

“Meet the Glaive who seizes any opportunity to fight. ... What young Pelna lacks in experience, he makes up for with his incisive mind and quick wit.”

Also very short and sweet. Now, I do like the emphasis on his young age relative to the other Glaives. I find that rather fascinating in of itself, but I’l jump right into the connection I personally headcanon. While I am sure there were many other bright and promising minds in the Glaive, Luche’s presence with Pelna’s group has lead me to believe two things about Luche’s character. I believe there was a sort of mentor relationship between Luche and Pelna, though I stress of “a sort.” I do think they treated each other more as equals a lot of the time, but the whole bit about lacking experience is something that I thought a lot about. Assuming my second headcanon as well-- which is that Luche was much more of a personal leader, liking to spend time with the different groups he lead-- I think he would have gained a lot of respect from Pelna, who we know from his insistence on repaying his debts to Nyx is one for more personal loyalty. Likewise, I think Luche would have seen Pelna’s sharp mind and asked for his input on things wherever he felt practical, both truly for his views and to deepen their relationship. Finally, I would like to go back to the first line and express my original surprise with it. Pelna never seemed to sort to seek out conflict, and truthfully it’s one of the few comments I tend to dismiss. Though, if pressed, I’d personally take it as meaning to say he’s always ready to prove himself in battle both as far as combat and strategy.

Now for the Traitorous Trio, who I will say now, I gleam far less than in previous notes. But, for sake of completionisim, here they are.

For Tredd:

“Cocksure and cutthroat, Tredd never shies away from a fight, and rarely loses.”

Another rather short and mostly known and accepted description. I would like to highlight the word choice of cutthroat. Perhaps the choice could be interpreted for it’s more audibly pleasing sense than actual connotation. I’ve always found Tredd to be hot headed perhaps, but not murderous to such a degree. I, however, like the not-so-subtle implications of just how competent he is in battle with that last.

For Sonitus:

“Meet the Glaive whose virtues seem boundless. ... A renowned man-at-arms, Sonitus’ virtuosity is exceeded only by his virtue.”

Just the slightest bit wordier than Tredd’s, but I think it’s a bit more to the point. Sonitus is exceptional in combat and has high regard for morality. I do like the stress on this latter point, though, as I firmly believe that those Glaives who betrayed the Crown weren’t evil, but only doing what they felt they had to. While Tredd seemed to express little tie to his homeland, I am a bit unsure whether or not his two companions shared these feelings. Either way, I think it was just as much of a shocking betrayal of trust to them as it was to the main four we follow. I’ll admit I am definitely not the best at wrapping around to conclusions, but generally I very much like the idea that they had their reasons, primarily that their actions followed own moral code.

Finally, Axis:

and I will say now it is rather insightful in my opinion.

“The soft-spoken Axis has always preferred letting his blades do the talking.”

I don’t think this is anything new, of course. I do like to think, though, that he takes this way of expressing himself liberally, generally letting actions speak louder than words as opposed to usually resorting to violence, but make of it what you will.

There are others I might as well add for other’s benefit, but as I personally I’m not reading into these as much. So, here you are.

Lunfreya Nox Fleuret:

“Before accepting sacred charge of the Oracle, Lunafreya was born princess of Tenebrae. As a girl she forged a bond with Prince Noctis, now her betrothed. Though she was to meet her fiance in Altissia, circumstances carry her into the crown city ahead of the peace signing.”

Regis Lucis Caelum:

“Merciful and wise, King Regis is revered by his people for all he has done for Lucis. After his son, Prince Noctis, sets forth from the crown city, the King turns his attention to forging a peace between his Kingdom and the Empire of Niflheim. “

Titus Drautos:

“As Captain of the Kingsglaive, Drautos holds his soldiers to the same unforgiving high standards to which he holds himself and trained Nyx in the art of combat. His respect can only be earned with blood, sweat and tears.”

Ardyn Izunia:

“For vastly enhancing the might of the Imperial Army, the grandiloquent Ardyn Izunia has enjoyed a meteoric rise to the rank of Chancellor. He now enters the crown city to deliver Lucis the empire’s terms of peace.”

Claurus Amicitia:

“True power isn’t bound by those who seek it. ... Sword shield and childhood friend to King Regis, Clarus is valued as much for his voice as he is his mettle. His son, Gladio, travels alongside the King’s in FINAL FANTASY XV.”

Ideolas Aldercapt:

“Just wanting doesn’t win wars. ... Wold domination’s close at hand for Niflheim’s cunning and cutthroat emperor, Ideolas Aldercapt, with only the Kingdom of Lucis out of his grasp.”

Ravus Nox Flueret:

“His homeland razed, he finds vengence the only way he knows how. ... Like his sister, Lunafreya, Ravus Nox Flueret also enters the crown city before the signing, but does so of his own free will under the auspices of the Imperial Army.”

I’ll most likely have more to say and note later, but I also intend on doing further notes on this post here.

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gffa · 7 years ago

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(i hope it's okay to send you random ass questions! you always give really intersting and thoughtful answers so it's difficult not to :D) i've always seen anakin's and obi-wan's padawan-master relationship as anakin idolizing the person who's taking him in (somewhat similar to what would happen if someone lived with their childhood celebrity crush) and then growing up to emancipate himself, see obi-wan as a human being, being given space to become more independent, until they grow to see each

other as equals. i'm wondering if it's just my shippy ass speaking though because anakin does say that obi-wan is the closest he has to a father, and obi-wan calls him a brother. i always disregard these instances because anakin sounds like he's trying to deliberately rile up obi in the first one to me (something in his tone, i think?) and my queer ass feels like "you were my brother" was only added to "no homo" the "i loved you". but i'm really curious about how other people read theirrelationship pre-clone wars. do you think anakin as a child viewed obi-wan as a father figure? (or, horrible thought, sheev?) is it, like, canon compliant to just ignore the dialogue i mentioned above? idk i think the tl;dr here is that i don't really think much about their master-padawan relationship because i ship them in tcw era but it's at the back of my mind and i'm interested in how you view it?i think i mentioned my ass at least twice in my ask and i want to apologize

It is always okay to send me random ass questions! And to mention your ass as many times as you want! Especially if you’re going to say such kind things, you’re very sweet to do so. ♥It took me awhile to put into words a lot of what I felt with their dynamic for a long time, why it didn’t ping the father/son parallels to me in ways other ships did, despite that I could see why others felt that way. If someone feels like that’s their dynamic, I absolutely get it and I will happily talk to them about the characters on that level only, god knows I’ve had pairings that fall strictly into that category myself.Anakin does say, at two different points, that Obi-Wan was like a father to him--in Attack of the Clones and during the unfinished TCW episodes. And it took me a long while to realize why it just never quite clicked for me, but it’s largely because both times Obi-Wan doesn’t really respond to that and their dynamic never really reflects that in any way we see. They never act like father and son with each other, even as a Master and Padawan, they’re much more of a team who complement each other, they each learn from each other, they each give and take. The very first thing we learn about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic in AOTC is that Obi-Wan is rescued by Anakin just as often as we can imagine a Master would rescue their Padawan. (”I haven't felt you this tense... since we fell into that nest of gundarks.” "You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?”)During Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan says, “You were my brother!” which, lol, that’s never really struck me as being strictly familial, like brothers-in-arms are absolutely a thing and are often very shippy/subtexty.So, you have those three moments of (questionable) framing as a familial thing, which, hey, fair enough! But it’s also weighed against a mountain of the two of them actually ACTING like an old married couple. The beginning of Revenge of the Sith is like thirty minutes of pure banter on the way to Grievous’ flagship and once they’re onboard it just keeps going. (”No loose wire jokes.” “Did I say anything?” “He's trying.” “I didn't say anything!”)(”This time we will do it together.” “I was about to say that.”) Mixed in with a whole lot of, “Leave him!” “His fate will be the same as ours!”You also have it weighed against things like Nick Gillard specifically choreographing their fight like a boyfriend/girlfriend fight where Obi-Wan doesn’t want to hurt Anakin, doesn’t want to have this fight. You have it weighed against that scene were Obi-Wan tells Anakin he’s proud of him and the look on Anakin’s face has no straight explanation that has ever satisfied me.You have it weighed against the ROTS novel--that George line-edited himself!--that says, “Blade-to-blade, they were identical. After thousands of hours in lightsaber sparring, they knew each other better than brothers, more intimately than lovers; they were complementary halves of a single warrior.“And all of that is before we get into some of the supplementary canon stuff because we’ll be here all day if I start quoting Wild Space again.So much of their relationship isn’t textually explicitly about being romantic, but it sure is framed in a way that’s very easy (and sometimes difficult not to!) put in that frame to contrast it at the very least, to still be defined by that framework. “More intimately than lovers” (or the infamous “Obi-Wan woke up staring at what he was pretty sure was Anakin’s butt” scene in the ROTS novel again) may play at contrasting against the idea, but it’s also still framing their relationship in romantic terms, even as it does so. It’s hard not to think of them as romantic when you’re specifically using the term “lovers” to describe them, no matter what direction you take the metaphor in.Even during the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic, when we see them interacting for more than five seconds at a time while Anakin is young, Obi-Wan is pretty clearly not his father, he rather directly refutes that point when asked. He is Anakin’s teacher and every line he says or doesn’t respond to reflect that. Anakin tries to put it into that context sometimes--and my headcanon is basically, “Why does he do that when their relationship doesn’t actually feel at all like a father/son one to me? OH FUCK YOU FOR PROBABLY PUTTING THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD, PALPATINE.” Because he would know that Anakin wants that figure--but is obviously not getting it if he’s coming to Palpatine, yet another indication that, no, Obi-Wan/Anakin doesn’t really work like that--and so would drive a wedge between him and Obi-Wan over it.But really what got me into going from “Ehhh, I don’t ship that at all.” when I started out (I know! I was fairly against the idea of shipping them when I really dove deep into Star Wars about two years ago!) to “Oh, wow, okay, that is super shippy and NOW I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS.” is that we got to see their relationship go from teacher/student to peers while watching The Clone Wars. We see them regularly banter like an old married couple, we see them each depending on the other in a way that’s about two people who are on an even field, we see that their dynamic isn’t left behind as they both move forward, but instead continues to grow.They’re given such narrative importance and emotional weight and, sure, a lot of it comes down to personal interpretation of chemistry--some people are going to see their banter as subtexty, some people are going to see it as familial, both are right for the person doing the interpreting--but a lot of the framing devices and the very consistent lack of actually giving weight to the father/son thing in my eyes means that I can very easily ship them and those lines don’t bother me. They don’t hold much weight and even the characters themselves barely seem to think in those terms, it doesn’t really bear out for me.Personally, I don’t really ship them much pre-TCW, but I definitely think Anakin had some Certain Feelings as a teenager that Obi-Wan very firmly shut down at the time and so Anakin just kind of sat on them and buried them and it rather explains a lot of why he’s so willing to believe that Obi-Wan and Padme would have an affair behind his back despite that they hardly interact at all--because Anakin wants them both, because Anakin sees them both in a romantic light, OF COURSE they would see each other in a romantic light, too! This is backed up for me by bb!Anakin in the comic not really looking at him like a father figure, but like you said, a celebrity crush, that sense of OH MY GOD HE’S THE BEST is positively star-struck.I think you can ignore the dialogue about father figures if you want, but that you don’t really need to. I think it’s Anakin parroting someone else’s words (as he does throughout Revenge of the Sith, there are at least four major points where he’s just literally repeating Palpatine almost word for word) in a way that doesn’t hold water when it comes to how they actually interact. You can tell me all day long that they’re just father and son figures, but when there’s so little in the actual dynamic between them that speaks to me of that, it’s not going to mean much to me. But there is a whole lot of them behaving like how my favorite Old Married Couples act and so, yeah, I’m going to head in that direction instead!

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obkin #meta #text #anonymous #guess who tried to make this short and totally failed again!#orz #Anonymous

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piratescarfy · 7 years ago

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Mightily Oats Headcanons [mega long]

Probably no one gives a shit about these but Mightily Oats is very dear to my heart as I played him in a production of Carpe Jugulum this year, and I’ve started a new routine with parts where I write long and detailed backstories for myself so that I have something in the back of my mind and the character doesn’t just begin at the beginning of the play so anyway, since theres a surprising amount of material on him anyway, here’s my compleat history of Mightily Oats.

Oats was the youngest brother in a strictly Omnian family in a devout village in Klatch. He took part in all the Book of Om study groups, went to church with his family every week and enjoyed reading his favourite parables of Brutha over and over and drawing illustrations in the margins. When he was 12, he became a novice of the church, and trained there until he became an journeyman at 18.

He also had a weekly duty of going to his frail grandmother’s house on Friday nights and reading scripture for her as she was quite blind. It was a bit of an arduous task, but the old dear appreciated him, and consequently paid him in what she deemed ‘useful knowledge’, which turned out to be old, rather extremist hymns. A lot of the content embarrassed Oats, but the images of holy fire, tidal floods, beatification, and more, lit up his mind like a conspiracy. Then, he would have to sit for a few hours while she complained weakly about foreigners and the youth of today until she finally fell asleep in the rocking chair and Oats could sneak back home.

When Oats was 14, he was asked to read out a paragraph from Brutha’s Letters to the Simonites in front of his class. He stood up, but his hands shook so much that he couldn’t read, and stood there, vibrating, until he was asked, somewhat wearily, to sit down. After that, he dedicated himself to learning The Book of Om by heart or, at the very least, well enough that he could read it confidently if he let the book fall open at a random entry.

Schisms were well known in Oats’ village, with practically every family in a different obscure sect, with each member of each family having slightly different opinions on top of that. Most food in his house was prepared cold, as merely saying Grace could provoke a thorough argument.

Living in this constantly changing hub of opinions, Oats was fed up of all this talking and became desperate not to provoke arguments if only for the sake of being able to eat breakfast in peace. He got deeper and deeper into researching the intricacies of all the differing opinions on Om in the village so as to prepare for all conversations with all possible incarnations of Omnianism. He became good at mediating arguments simply by standing there and being so excessively tolerant and knowledgeable that both parties simply gave up. His painfully even hands earned him a place at a respected seminary in Omnia itself.

Oats left home and started training in Theology and Divinity of Om at the seminary when he was 18, and was ordained as a priest at the age of 23. Halfway through his training, there was a rupture between the Reunited Free Chelonists, creating the Rimwards and Hubwards convocations. Within minutes of the report from the Synod, half of the staff were refusing to speak to the other half of the staff. All teaching halted for the day and the Bishop of the seminary was forced to alter the entire curriculum in one afternoon, using students as messenger pigeons between the sulking teachers.

Oats regularly attended the monthly conferences at The General Synod of Om, in hope of finding the true answer to Omnianism, directly from the real people in charge. No matter how often he went, however, it was always just like another family dinner. The debates were very interesting, but nothing ever got resolved, more and more viewpoints just kept piling on and he left more confused than when he arrived.

With his aptitude for ancient languages, Oats was granted access to the vast Omnian library and began a fateful activity known as Wider Reading. He spent hours poring over scrolls, tomes, grimoires, anything he could get his hands on, learning more and more. It became a bit of a drug.

'Bad Oats’ first fully walked into existence after he read a scroll about what we would call 'atoms’. “

"Look at that,” said a small voice.“Something outside The Book of Om that feels…not exactly better, or more correct, but just… different.”

And an Oats-sized voice said:

“Oh dear.”

At first, Oats attributed the voice to exam stress, and the revelation of widening his already flattened tolerance of opinions. He had felt little urges like this in the past, silly urges as a child to throw beans at the pastors during Mass.

Then the voice wouldn’t shut up.

“Why do you put your hands together? Does that amplify the sound of you saying words in your head? What would happen if you prayed standing on your head? Or while dancing? Or on the latrine?”

Then, halfway through an Ungodly Creatures lecture, he had looked down to find a particularly lifelike portrait of Deacon Thrope looking back. He would have put it down to idle doodling. That is, if he had ever drawn anything resembling more than an anaemic pear in his life before that day.

Whenever he wrote a paper, he had to tie his other hand to the table, or it would pick up a quill and write an entirely contradictory one on whatever surface was nearest. (That was impractical both psychologically, and in terms of wallpaper costs.)

Despite his odd tendencies, he was undeniably one of the brightest pupils in his year, and after his ordainment, was nudged off to The Ramtops in presumably some vague hope that the mountain air would do him good.

Oats didn’t really interact with people outside of Omnianism until this journey, where he did a stint of itinerant preaching through Ankh-Morpork, on his way to Ohulan. The Morporkians weren’t keen on the whole 'one God’ thing and their general hostility and tomatoes dealt a blow to his confidence.

The sight of The Street of Small Gods provided Bad Oats with hours of entertainment. Oats found himself wandering up and down over and over, scrutinising every statue, bust, list of commandments, holy garb, absentmindedly handing out pamphlets every so often.

In the three weeks he spent travelling between Sto Lat and The Ramtops he often felt his holy turtle pendant and The Book of Om were the only things separating him from madness. That’s what kept his faith alive. The familiar rhythms of the verse, along with the marks in the little clay turtle he had shaped and painted himself always brought him back to sense. Like swinging a well balanced sword.

[NOTE: Canonically, Oats bought his pendant from an overpriced street market, but I actually made my own pendant for the production I was in, and it’s such a small detail that isn’t in the playscript that I internally changed it. Yeah I’m a bit of a wanker]

If what Bad Oats kept telling him about the many gods, the many theories about the Disc, the many Truths, was true, then Om was definitely a candidate for a truth. Once he got round to working out what that was. And that was enough.

At the Ohulan missionary, the fresh mountain air just gave him more energy to lie in bed arguing at himself.

The senior clergyman at the missionary, Brother Melchio, expressed concern for Oats, secretly wondering if the apparent voices in Oats’ head were words from Om himself. He even had Oats moved to a private room, but that just gave Oats the freedom to shout even louder. Oats got so little sleep most nights that his hands would twitch and shake during the day.

In public, 'Bad Oats’ appeared in miniature, peering around at everything through Oats’ forehead after Oats had thought he’d already peered at everything quite enough. The exact appearance of this little man was never clear, but perhaps that was because Bad Oats looked exactly like 'Good Oats’. If he could even call himself 'Good Oats’.

At night, however, when Oats was alone, Bad Oats grew, and filled up the inside of Oats like a second skin.

Oats was never certain if he was 'Good Oats’, or just 'Oats’, or 'Bad Oats’ masquerading as someone else entirely. Or perhaps he had switched places on that day in the library. Maybe he was continually switching back and forth, and had lost track long ago. Or maybe there really was no Bad Oats, and all of these thoughts belonged to the One Oats that was Oats.

When word arrived from Lancre requesting an Omnian priest for their princess’ naming ceremony at short notice, the job of trekking up the cold mountains, far away from the missionary and where he could give the rest of us a decent night’s sleep for Om’s sake was inevitably given to Oats.

He arrives in Lancre doing his best to block out Bad Oat’s snide comments on everyone else’s nice clothes in comparison to his grey socks and sandals, armed with his hopeful attitude and painful tolerance to everyone.

–

Hope you enjoyed that. I tried to build on the parallels to Agnes and Perdita that are hinted at in CJ, but it’s also a personal theory of mine that Oats is a prophet because there are a few similar details with Brutha in Small Gods.

- Zealous grandmother, like Brutha - Rides a mule, like Brutha - “Half the time you don’t know what you’re thinking!” (Om to Brutha in Small Gods) - “Half the time I don’t know what I’m thinking!” (Oats to Agnes in CJ) - People get worried as he appears to talk to himself, like Brutha

#discworld #carpe jugulum #mightily oats

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