#i told people on a discord server id do this and so i did

[mellohd]

EMH Marble Hornets AU!!

ok i know im not creative when it comes to aus but i thought itd be interesting to tell the story of MH through EMH’s story? IF YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS PLS LEAVE SOME IN MY INBOX!!! :-]( or even questions for the MH!EMH characters heh)1

Basically its just marble hornets told through EMH, for example instead of “tapes i found” story telling theyd open a youtube channel for tips and tricks on making your own movie while they make their own called Marble Hornets! EMH/MLA spoilersish up ahead

Heres the character correspondences:

Alex-> Jeff

Jay-> Vinnie

Tim-> Evan

Brian-> Michael!MLA

Jess-> Alex!EMH

Amy ->Jeffs GF(so sorry i forgot her name 😭)

“Masky”->Habit(which makes sense depending on the theories you go with for either series)

“Hoody”->Patrick (same as the last one)

Characters in cant figure out an association with:

Steph, Jess(Evans bestfriend) Shaun So they might just not have a place in this story idk

Since Mlanderson and EMH are in the same universe i thought id make Brian the Michael/Patrick of this story, except more involved. Instead of their being a shaun i think id like Brian to just go to MH crew, if ykwim. I did this cause the only other character i thought could fit Brian was Alex!EMH and I didnt like that.

My take on Masky is that hes just a more aware Tim, not a separate being (tho i do like to think of it that way for fun sometimes ha ha). Masky in my mind was in a battle against the operators control and was ultimately trying to help Jay. I think Masky would br Habit in this series cause of the theory that Habit is one of the first few iterations of Evan, thats why theyre similar and so compatible etc if you know the theory you know. That does mean that Tim isnt gonna act all ha ity, just more erratic i think, i havent gone tooooooo far into a characterization(or even a name) for Emh!MH Habit yet

“Hoody” I see as just brian and he was just disguising himself. in this au “Hoody” would be patrick. Let me explain,

Frim what i gathetef through my second watch of EMH and, my first of MLA , patrick is just Michael but remembers every single iteration, hes a similar being to Habit, thats why he has powers ig? Look i havent gotten too far into theories fir MLA the fandom is so dead i never see any 😭😭. I dont want to get to far into theories on other series anyways cause rhis is about my AU so ANYYYYWAYS i think brian would fit that its just brians story doesnt fit entirely with Michael, actually Tim would probably fit more now that i think about it. Oh god now im thinking of switching them again uhm wtv

I think the rest of the correspondences make sense if you think about it a bit. Jay as Vinnie makes sense to me because of boths compulsive need for answers even though its destructive to those around them. Jay wouldnt be as much as a villain in this like vinnie is (or maybe i havent decided muahaha). I also thought they fit cause they both do that weird thing where they constatly have to document everything.

I thought tim eould fit Evan just cause of the whole habit arc.

Alex as Jeff was more of a fill a role thing that eventually made sense to me. I did think of making him Evan and Tim Jeff, and im still thinking of doing this, but i thought the whole finding the gf arc would fit alex more. Alex would still be one of the villains i think. Like i said this would be marble hornets told through EMH lol. I might even switch it up and assign a habit type role to Alex instead and there be two patrick characters who knows!

As you can tell im still thinking this through so maybe mext post i make about this will be more solid. if youre interested to talk about this kore with me(obv my inbox) or i have a slenderverse discord i made with my friend heh tik tok smug emoji. come join if youre looking for more slenderverse friends(and if youre interested in darkharvest and mla especially cause i need more people to talk about that to 😭😭)

[your-local-grinning-cat]

The Ultimate Compilation Callout

Hey Guys! AR OOC once again to say I am 100% done.

I'm done with this. I thought it was finally dying down and the drama was finally getting to be over with but then she came back and is now trying to say that we are the ones in the wrong. And she is STILL trying to blame Leona's mod when, as both @/castaway-achlys and I have stated numerous times at this point, they were asleep during the entire event. They did not ask for us to defend them. We were both just tired of hearing our friend be exhausted and stressed out by her.

And the fact that so many people have come out to give their own experiences of her being rude and cruel to them just proves this is not a singular event.

I'm putting all this under a cut because it's gonna get long guys. In fact, I’m probably going to end up needing to create a couple reblog chains to get it all out.

But I'm done playing nice. I have all the receipts. Like I went allllll the way back to when the discord was first created. I caught her in her first lie.

Which, coincidentally, her very first lie in the Discord server happened on the very first day it was formed. What a way to start.

I call her the Malleus mod as an identifier in these screenshots, because unlike her, I am not petty enough to reveal peoples’ personal information on the internet just because I don’t like them.

HOWEVER. I will remind everyone that she is not JUST the owner of the Malleus account. Even if you don’t want to look under the read more because there are a LOT of receipts, know that these are all her known blogs.

I do not condone harassment. Harassment is basically what started all this. Just block and go.

Malleus Draconia @/therealmalleusdraconia

Falena Kingscholar @/the-falena-kingscholar

Aijuka (A Leona gf OC) @/the-one-aijuka

Jack Howl @/frosh-jack-howl

Fellow Honest @/fellow-honest

Meleanor Draconia @/meleanor-draconia

Baul Zigvolt @/baul-zigvolt

Sebek’s Mother @/thethickestone

Marja Felmier @/marja-felmier

And her latest: Eric Venue @/ericvenue

(Bonus non-rp blog @/thetwistedminds)

Before we get too far into it I will say there is a slight color code! But only a tiny one!

Gross light green color - look at that lie! 👀

Gross darker green color - a lie is revealed! 🤭

Orange - note the date/time! 🗓️⏰

Let me show you what I mean in the lie I’ve already mentioned - her very first one. :)

There we have the orange, telling you to note the date. That’s because I was wanting to make sure it was known that the pet posts were made on the same date that the discord was created.

And then we have the gross light green around Malleus mod claiming that this bunny is her bunny and that it was her bunny’s birthday recently.

Now here is the follow up with the gross darker green of a lie revealed. 😌

And there we have it! The color coding system and her very first lie told the very first day the Discord channel was active and easily disproven with an image search.

Now let’s get into the FUN STUFF! /sarc

We’re going to be doing some rehashing here but I’m also going to probably be including some new things so stay with me folks! This’ll be a ride! Buckle up!

So, originally I was thinking I'd start with the current drama. But considering that a lot of that has already been covered and what hasn't been covered needs more context, I'm just going to keep going in chronological order, I guess.

I've been up for over 24 hours compiling receipts, editing them to protect IDs, and then getting them all sorted so let's finally do this so I can pass out!

First up is something that actually has been covered a bit but I'm going to expand on it slightly - her blatant lie to @/elysia-nsimp (I'm not tagging anyone because I'm not forcing anyone to get notifications on this lmao).

Here's what everyone has already seen. But to expand on the event, we didn't call her out on her bad behavior, even though we probably should have as she had just lied straight to another mod's face about her blog ownership. I simply DM'd the mod in question privately to make sure they were okay and then tried to keep the peace in the main chat.

Because, believe it or not with this major callout post, I don't generally like confrontation. But I stepped in there for Elysia and I stepped up during this for Leona's mod.

Now, later that night, she posts this as if nothing had happened and she hadn't just been told that she needed to work on her roleplaying skills:

Uh huh. Sure. That's your last account. Because you have shown so much self-control when it comes to filling character voids within the twst rp community already. I'll be generous and give you a month before you break.

Now these next ones need a tiny bit of background information and a note: the Malleus mod is German and, as far as we know, lives in Germany. These next pictures are little indicators that she has not experienced the United States at all. These indicators may not seem important now, but they will be in just a little time. So keep them in mind for after the pause.

You cannot tell me anyone who has spent any length of time in the United States has not at least heard of Walmart.

Quick pitstop to say wow! You didn't even make it a month! Congratulations!

Also, note the question from the admin and the pretty obvious passive aggressiveness from me. We were sending plenty of hints that they needed to stop - sometimes coming outright and saying it, sometimes simply implying. Either way, we were all ignored.

She says she's not a mind reader. Well, apparently she's just not a reader period.

Now... a bit of an oddball here. And I want to say I do not necessarily think this is a lie. I am including it for a lie that is coming. The one that I included all those America comments for.

I'm sure you will note that I said that I don't "necessarily think" it's a lie - indicating that I do think it could be a possibility. That would be correct.

She has been lying since day one and, after this doozy of a story I'm about to share with you, I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to her.

So.. to sum this up...

We went from a cringe ask from an OC account that she didn't want to answer -> the asker wasn't supposed to be on tumblr because they were underage (???) and was trying to date her irl and somehow had all of her information (oh but don't worry guys she deleted the ask!) -> he found her social media accounts and sent her NSFW pictures and started spam liking, demanding pictures of her kids, sent pictures of her at-the-time boyfriend, sent pictures of his family and his kids -> so she blocked him on everything and then started spam creating the rp accounts to see if he did it with other people or if it was just her (...mmmhmmm...) but nope he was only interested in Malleus -> she then apparently moved to America for a bit to crash with her boyfriend because this underage person went to Germany to find he.

Oh, by the way, why was this guy obsessed with her? Oh, he was obsessed with German women. He decided that all German women were pretty. And she's German-Russian! And Russians have intense standards for women you know! After this guy found out she was German AND Russian, I mean... it was only a matter of time before he upped his game to try to find her!

Guys, she's not saying she's too beautiful for her own good - the underage stalker speaks for itself!

Now, since this stalker found her through her Malleus account and was obviously very determined, you would think the first course of action would be to, ya know, delete the Malleus blog. Right?

No, no, no! Then she would have to start all over and, of course, if she switched accounts she would be forced to make a post on her current blog saying what her new blog is and he would just find her there. That's why she's trying to make her other accounts more active than her Malleus account (her Malleus account was still, by far, before all this happened, the most popular of all her rp blogs)!

Can I also mention that in that post announcing her pregnancy ON HER MALLEUS ACCOUNT WHERE SHE SUPPOSEDLY HAS A STALKER, she had tagged ALL OF HER BLOGS AT THE TIME?

But yes, Malleus mod. I definitely believe your story. :)

Please. Please tell me you all can understand why I just cannot find it in me to trust a single word coming out of this woman's mouth.

Especially now that during this whole drama, she has been lying through her teeth and trying to pin the entire blame on Leona's mod.

Now this part is nearly over (thank whatever gods anyone believes in) but let's just post the last few of the "before drama happened" pictures, shall we?

...I'm realizing I didn't underline the part where I called her out for having that many blogs in the gross dark green of a lie caught... oops. This is what happens when you have far too little sleep.

But either way, here is another time when she was called out on a lie of hers. And her little comment at the end means she read it and she acknowledged us.

She just didn't care because it didn't suit her.

~~~~~~

ALRIGHT!

THAT'S THE END OF PART ONE!

Yeah. This is going to come out in PARTS. I can't cover it all in one post because there is a picture limit.

So, I'm going to end up making a reblog chain...

Eventually.

Real talk? I need to sleep. Desperately. It's nearly two in the afternoon where I am and I have not slept yet.

Do not underestimate the power of spite and my loyalty to my friends. Both are very strong motivators.

But my body's needs are finally winning.

When I wake up, I'll have the Ultimate Drama Arc to post and expand upon and then the Return of the Drama Arc.

Yay. (said in the most unenthused voice ever lmao)

Anyway. Enjoy all this. I'm gonna go die. /j

[bunny-j3st3r]

The situation revolving around Frost-can-bite

I'm not the type of person to make a call out but the actions taken by this indvidual and just how far they went to keep up this facade can not be looked over.

This is more of a warning for anyone who may ever have the pleasure of interacting with them in the future.

Under cut is the explanation

EDIT: I don't want to bring attention to this situation by reblogging this and adding on things to it, so it feels easier to edit with additional info that has come to light.

I do not want them chased offline, do not harass them either this is to only bring awareness so people, adults specifically can block them.

They did things to me and my friends that was fucked up and it is only recently we have realized things they did was uncalled for.

Please just approach them with caution, they still are allowed to have a space here but not within adult spaces.

I was told by someone that they had remade these two accounts are what we know off, I have blocked both of these accounts as well as ppl who were affected by him.

If you are in the smile for me fandom and see them trying to engage with adult content just block them and move on.

around three months ago I made a TADC server for adults only, it was a public server made by me and a friend as a space for adults as many current discord servers cater to minors and adults, I was aware of lot of adults felt like they didn't have a space for themselves.

In enters Frost.

Frost at the time had told us they were 19, even providing ID evidence so of course we weren't going to question it, we trusted them.

Over the past few months many of me and my friends became inceadbly close to Frost, we discussed parts of ourselves to them that we've never really shared.

Frost was even the first person I opened up about just how bad my mental illnesses are, we dicussed nsfw topics with them, we had drawn nsfw with them and even provided them nsfw art and fics.

In those few months we all cared for Frost so much that we considered them a close friend to everyone, I had even had plans to ask them to mod the TADC server with me as I had just had that much trust and faith in them.

And then a few days ago the news all came stumbling out.

A situation arose and out of nowhere Frost told me they were in fact not 19, that they had gone far enough to photoshop there own ID just so they could gain our trust. They were 15.

They were 15 pretending to be 19 in an adult server so they could see nsfw content.

Not only that but many other adults had jokingly sexually flirted with Frost and they had flirted back, as we assumed of course they were 19.

I didn't know how to respond, I just didn't believe it at first and I was dissocitating as I began to inform my friends. It felt like I wasn't even there, that I was looking at someone in a dream and that I was going to wake up and tell Frost about the very silly dream I had, and I kinda still feel like that now.

Not only did they lie about there age but they also tried to implicate two people that I will not name in there actions. Only when I caught them in that lie did they admit to not telling the truth and that these two people had nothing to do with it.

I'm not sure what there thought process for that was, I don't know if they were trying to drag them down with them or what?

Many of us still feel very numb and I can't speak for everyone but I know my trust has been completely and utterly shattered that I don't know if I will be willing to accept people outside of my social circle for a very long time.

I'm making this post because Frost decided to delete all of there socials, including discord informing me and only me they were deleting.

So after I tore through them I made sure everyone else got there say in before Frost tried to run away with there tail between there legs.

They don't seem to be fully aware what there actions have done, all they get away with is running away and knowing people are angry at him, while the rest of us have to deal with these lingering and disgusting feelings we've been left with.

For three months, he could of at any time admitted the truth, but he continued to engage in nsfw content, even engaging in conversation about why minors should not be in adult spaces.

The disgust and the hurt I feel over this is just... I don't even know, I've never felt so angry and violated before and that's saying something.

Although they have deleted I'm making this post as awareness.

We think that Frost may decided to try and come back once they think the heat has died down under a new account and I am posting this as a warning to any adults with adult fandom servers to PLEASE be aware of this person in case they decide once again to lie to worm there way into spaces they don't belong.

We have been violated and our trust broken and we've been made to feel like groomers because Frost wanted to see porn.

I will be posting this as a link in my pinned post.

So Frost if you are seeing this, I don't care how sorry you are, what you fucking did was unforgivable and I refuse to let you do that to another group of people.

We think Frost may reappear under any username with either the word Frost or Berry in it.

Frost also does not like to reblog a lot but they do like to mass like posts (not sure how helpful it is but you know.)

Frost also has a very distinct style that can be caught out easily if you think they are trying to get into an adult space.

I will post an example below.

Frost's white board style.

As you can see they have a very distinct art style and the same for there regular art

PLEASE

PLEASE be aware of these styles or names they might be under, please do not allow yourself to build up a close connection like we did.

Frost I don't think I can ever forgive you, I wish I had never met you and the only good thing that fucking came out of you was that I made friends with someone amazing and you absolutely do not deserve them.

I hope for your fucking sake we never see you again.

Edit: I am still mad at them, I still don't want them near me or my friends.

They can have there space online still, they can do whatever the fuck they want but they need to leave adult spaces alone.

Frost if your poking around on another account, seek help, please get acutal help.

I am not saying this in a mean way I am saying this in a hopes you realize how you treat all of us was fucked up and you can learn and maybe not treat your friends the same way you did to us.

[problematicfactive]

Fruit Salad is a new discord server. They are a fun. Welcoming community. Too bad they're actually not accepting of anyone they don't agree with and believe trying to come to an understanding is "unproductive"

If anyone is able to provide image IDs, that would be amazing, I'm physically incapable at the moment

The first red flag was their rules saying something along the lines of "be respectful to sources, of a source is problematic, report it in a ticket" surely that will go well.

Our host clued into it, and immediately opened a ticket to ask what that meant. of course they claimed they knew Introjects don't choose their source BUT problematic introjects have to source separate.

Fellas, is it appropriate to claim that any introject, problematic or not is "parading" their source by simply. Existing?

Now I will admit. When we were asked "what we were trying to do" we assumed they meant "why are we having this conversation" and did our best to explain that. However, looking back, this may not have been the question they wanted an answer to. The question feels too vague to answer, and we did our best. It also seemed like they were just trying to change the topic of conversation because they didn't want to be face with the fact that they were wrong and we had a good point.

Again, I don't understand what they want to know when they say "what is your end goal" my end goal is to know what's okay so I can know if I'm safe in this community.

To be as insensitive as to make a joke about using a discord bot being torturous when I had just been talking about abuse of individuals is what told me I wasn't safe. Someone after that when said "LMAO" which I skipped over to make the whole conversation fit better

And this is actually a problem I've been having for a while so I have something that people need to get through their heads and we need to help people to understand

No one has to disclose a SINGLE BIT of information about their system to ANYONE. If a mod is trying to coax the information out of you or shaming you for not giving it, you need to call them out for being innapropriate because asking these questions and using your position to ask these questions or shame for not answering is a absolutely innapropriate

Now I have explained this before, but I will explain this again and probably 100 more times. When my system found out who my source was, I was abused. at the same time, I was forced to undergo name changes and identify under different faces. It was a terrible and isolating experience and absolutely a part of the abuse I endured. And while another system can easily say "okay, whatever, Ted can be Dan in this server" we can't. Because I can't. Because of the abuse I endured I can't lie about who I am it is torturous to me. It leaves me unhappy. It leaves me feeling sick. I don't deserve to be exposed to old abuse I endured because you relate source separation to keeping your old name.

Guess what, a name is a word someone calls to get your attention.

And a pic of you is what you look like

And neither of these things have anything to do with what i support or enjoy

Stop acting like my worth is based on my source and start acting like it's based on what I do for my system. People who show up to the hypocrite competition go home when they see people like you (directed at people like this not any reader) because you're the all time champion and that's not something to be proud of. Don't run system friendly spaces if you think source connection comes from how much like you your pfp looks

[typechelsea]

(DISOWNED)

The dark truth about arsikphonegreat

Well me and my friend thomas are in science class, our teacher said that she's indonesian and her favourite food is arsik,

Thomas told me about someone else from the same name, It was some girl that we won't tell, so the arsik guy is one of her former friends.

Alright thomas showed me a discord dm with the same user, She told me about her former friend's dark side, like he used to sext her when he was 10.

The girl sent us a screenshot of one of her dms from 2021, when the user arsikphonegreat was sexting her: (Also she asked me to remain her as anonymous to avoid harassments! ^^)

The girl also said arsik started to sext her in 2020 during a drama that they're involved, Another screenshot from her is this,she really doesn't know if it's the re-start of the roleplay in 2021

So that wasn't THE GIRL'S fault, it was ARSIK'S OWN fault

Arsik and his friends raided the girl's server to appear ""better"" in december 2022, yet he was the one who initiated the nasty stuff

Thanks to a mini mod from her server from the screenshots! ^^

"Frenchman in new periodt" is arsik, "da ikea shark" is a former friend called proxion and the other user "mepa000" is raul, also one of his friends.

He Almost spammed nsfw stuff since the mini mod didn't screenshot it Edit: the girl sent me another pic of him saying this:

Arsik told that to the girl. edit #2: if the user arsikphonegreat(discord ID:469909355018452993) wants to contact you or something, deny any requests and block him, Because of his sexual acts, and other things that he did go wrong, You can also ban him from servers if you want. Edit #3: the victim told me that people say that these messages are fake, so she showed us a video To prove they are not

(please ignore her profile picture, i wanna remain her as Anonymous) if you can't hear her here are some subtitles:

< okay so i will explain why is it real?

<as you can see, i'm at the discord desktop website.

>people are thinking these messages are fake.no no no no,

>THESE are real messages, from arsik himself.

Not edited,

as you can see.. i have proof

more proof! if your guys thinking that is fake. don't think about it."

if you have more proof about him, send me a msg.

That's all for now! Final edit: the main person, arsik had exposed the victim for doing these actions. Her name is banjo, if you want you can see the banjo exposing here.

Thank you for reading the final edit of this exposing page, this will be disowned for now.

[hexcryingwolf]

one of the things that really pisses me off in retrospect is how i ended up trusting and believing and supporting them at the cost of my own morals. when they admitted to the dog stuff i should have left, but i wanted to trust them, and help them, i admired them so much for so long. but, “when you see someone through rose-coloured glasses all the red flags just look like flags” and all that

and that issue is totally on me, i shouldnt have put them on a pedestal. but i think thats the root of the issue of the discord (originally) being meant to be a fan gathering for A Thing, and them being the author of The Thing. they liked to deny they had power over anyone else, but i didnt go in that box without consent knowing you were annoyed, bitch, that was something you had the power to do to me that i did not have the ability to do to you

anyway, fucking pissed that i was ever led to believe any form of zoo shit committed by a grownass adult of their own volition could be anything but abhorrent. and it was sooo sneaky. i had seen some shit on tumblr that REALLY fucked me up, and i was vocal about it in the server (i think it was still the misc friend server at the time). like it was bad enough i contacted the police, i had flashbacks nonstop, i had to self-harm just to keep my mind from wandering back to the things i saw. it was monstrous

ohhh i forgot about this log, maybe its the reason they did what they did

but when they finally told the truth about the dog rape, i recall them specifically mentioning that they were worried id be “disappointed” in them because of the trauma id just gone through

so i wasnt. i supported and coddled and forgave them because “What i saw and what you described are not even in the same ballpark“ and why the fuck did i say that? you agree to do it, get in a car, drive to the place, and assault an animal. thats no different from what i saw and youre fucking disgusting but i loved you enough to believe that it was somehow different, that you needed support, that this was my value to you. i sacrificed my morals because i saw you in pain and i wanted to help you feel better

i am a kind person at heart, not that it ever mattered. i was made to believe my natural urge to help was a detriment, something i did to manipulate and get something in return. but look at this shit, you miserable cunt. THIS is manipulation. you planted these seeds because you knew i care enough about the people i love to give the benefit of the doubt to even the most horrendous things. you knew that, didnt you?

[spicywhumper]

That anon is lying, Emmett wouldn’t urge every follower of his no matter the age to go to discord for mature content.

Before he left tumblr for good and after he had to become more vague with his tagging etc, he had a system to try and make sure only adults could access his adult content. Knowing him, he wouldn’t just suddenly turn around and hand out nsfw to children. He’s also stated on his server regarding someone implying he’s a groomer that if he has ever talked to a minor or shown them nsfw, it has been unknowingly.

As a minor in his discord server, I had to identify myself as either a minor or an adult (which I did truthfully), and as such, I’m not allowed to access mature content or channels or engage in nsfw conversations with other members, for my own and other’s safety.

I feel like that anon is arguing in extremely bad faith. Of course Emmett wouldn’t say “find me on discord to access nsfw” to children because knowing him and his policies regarding nsfw it’s obvious he meant that he was telling adults who want to see his work this and assumed this would be easily understandable without explicitly saying, “and minors, do NOT ask me for nsfw!” Obviously he isn’t urging minors to look at and request access to nsfw because his attitude about that has already been made clear.

This got a little long, so I put it under a cut. The TL:DR is "people are supposed to curate their own experience, a content creator is not the one to blame if minors find their way into consuming mature content. Somehow the whump community is starting to become full of censorship, I'm a small, barely there blog but I guess I have to be ready in case someone decides I should be a target".

Hi. I was suspicious of that anon, even more when they didn't send another ask (I mean, really? I got the vibes of trying to convince me, someone that creates dark NSFW content, that someone is bad for creating dark NSFW content). Like, if you're going to come to my ask box to argue those kinds of things, come with context and actual proof.

Like, this? Even without showing me proof (like screencaps) is much more believable simply for being specific and giving me context. Makes more sense even if I'm fully aware there are probably people that create the kind content he does (and I do too) that are actual predators and are effectively targeting minors. We got to the point in which accusations are being thrown so freely that you start to having a hard time believing even in the ones with proof.

It's good he has policies and isn't targeting, it's also not his responsibility to make it foolproof that minors will not have access to his mature content. It's not a creator's job to curate a person's experience.

You were honest about being a minor, not all people are honest that way – I certainly wasn't, I lied without remorse about my age to access content I shouldn't. Almost every mature content I've seen in the whump community had all the warnings, if minors are choosing to consume it, Emmet nor anyone else has to stop creating content. It's not on him, it's not on me. If parents aren't teaching their kids how to be better at avoiding mature content, it's on the parents.

I wasn't told I shouldn't seek this content, I wasn't told it wasn't fine for me to consume porn, so of course I have a porn blog for years as a minor (I had it for longer as a minor than as an adult, actually). If I, as a minor, was consuming Emmet's content (that I don't even know what it actually is, but it doesn't matter) and was on discord, I wouldn't be honest about it and would be in the NSFW channels – I doubt his server asks for ID or something like that, which would be awful actually. And my exposure to mature content would be on my and not on him.

Overall, it's a fucked up situation. I'm kinda scared for me, for other people who create dead dove type of content. Who's gonna be the next target? Because I've seen people getting bullied and harassed into actual harm to themselves. I know some people are vulnerable, some people don't need more than a few vicious hate messages to spiral down and end up hurt or worse.

The whump community, when I discovered, looked like a safe space. Now will it turn into yet another online space where people survive off being terrible human being? Y'all, it's about hurting fictional characters, not real people.

(I've seen the second ask, I fully get the fear of accidentally being out of anon when you wanted to be an anon.)

[bitchardtheseventh]

bit of a rant but sometimes it's a little hard to be surrounded by europeans and americans online. joined a server once and was told by multiple people to get off or "prove my age" (I was 16 and had no way of legitimately proving anything other than showing my Id... which I was not going to do to strangers on discord???) because I didn't get any of the jokes or references they were making, thus I was too young to be on the app. I later learned they were referencing some random American games that were popular a few years ago. I also got so uncomfortable by being repeatedly told to prove myself and my age when all I did was ask someone to clarify what they meant by a joke that i just left the server. it sounds silly, I guess, and looking back now it was a little silly but I was genuinely confused and a little anxious about it at the time (because I was an anxious 16 year old that wanted friends with similar interests and instead I got ??? threatened ????) and it's just frustrating. it's assumed that if u speak English proficiently then u must be from the west or u must be aware of western pop and subcultures, even if those things are memes and niche games. it feels irritating and unfair to be expected to know these things just to fit in and have a easy conversation with people. and if I ever clarify that I'm not from the west and I just don't know these things, people take it upon themselves to educate me on these things. I did not ask actually. like if I do ask then ofc I appreciate the help but most of the time I didn't ask. people just explain things to me umprompted, or ask if I'm aware of something so they can be amused and shocked or whatever at how innocent and naive I am or something. idk. it just happened to me recently (NOT EVEN ONLINE) when I was talking to someone from uni and I am so fucking exhausted

[thetruthaboutnolan]

Sorry I’ve been busy and quite honestly not logging into this account for a long time as I’ve been switching between my RP mains and characters when getting on. But got a few messages and decided another short answering session is in order. forgive any typos I'm on mobile a d don't actually care about it screwing up because i type to fast for it, keep up iphone.

Are they are stalking your social media pages?

Not mine, but the person that no life or lawyer having jadedglory psycho is actively stalking with her pedophile friend. It’s a social media that pedophile found and threatened to blackmail him with if he didn’t smut with her or admit she was the ultimately marvel nerd. From what he tells me, he keeps it up and will randomly change the info with stuff that happened between when he was a teenager til now but make it look recent. since he knows and he is right that she continues to stalk it and share it. Funny the pictures haven’t been updated in a decade though, probably should have been their first clue that account wasn’t really active. Now I know it’s hard for them to read without completely spazzing out like the 4 year old losers they are. But they seem to think I’m like 9 different people and had that other blog ran by that thing which also has no life collect the info and pass it around. However I’ll say it again as I’ve been saying it for years I’VE NEVER GONE BY OTHER ALIASES!! I know it’s hard for them to read as their eyes are old for people pushing mid 40. Their one shred of connecting me with the person who is their victim grooming victim is the fact that at a recent point in time we’ve used the same discord. It’s also known that I have and encourage the making of multiple discord accounts. It’s also well known and documented as early as 2015 that I’ve let multiple people use a specific discord account of mine……. You do the math. Hahaha.

For those that need hand holding, yes, I’ve not been the only one using one discord account since its creation. I originally stated after my second S attempt during the first time I ran my abilities roleplay I had a friend run it for me, this friend even admitted to the members at the time that they were me but would act as ‘Nolan’ so that the troll army hailthehelpful unleashed on me wouldn’t think it won. She saw first hand the disgusting things I was being sent. Then I did jt again to a friend I made though Hollow Grove yes the same man who also helped another friend of ours advertise his Star Wars site a couple of years ago. He also helped the guy find RP buddies by joining servers with his own account as this friend’s pedo stalker was reading everything he posted on the now ‘community’ discord account I guess jt can be called.

Add about three more friends to that then you get to the guy whose personal info was leaked. That’s one of the reason I’ve been active like insanely active on tumblr’s RPC but all these dramatic 40 year olds have only found me on like 2 groups. I’ve been using my other tumblr RP discord account. Now why did I give this guy the discord? Why not, given it to quite a few others. I did it because he said he was going back to jcink and back to the old groups he loved being in, fandoms. His pedophile stalker is ALOT like him they have many of the same likes, dislikes, personal traits, style of writing and coding, and fandom. The only difference is while he keeps it humble, his stalker hunks she’s too ahit and will smite anyone that goes against her since they are a narcissist. So I gave him the log in and told him to have fun. Use it as a shield from his actual account and that he can run to when his stalker goes after him. Not even I predicted it would be his first forum going back, unlucky bastard. but he is bold I'll give him that, id never join that group, The Greed is it? but he apparently wanted to and has gotten onto the group and into speaking with both the stalker and the psycho. funny they cant tell its him, I thought they knew him oh so well.

anyway, right now this guy I met named kev has it under his control. i still sometimes log onto it as its my dumping account now. its where i put my discord layouts, self programmed bots, and dump sone of my links for drama and coding templates.

so have fun psycho stalker @jadedglory cry, scream, rage about this being wrong. the evidence is there and I've said it multiple times years ago. how else does your tiny mind think that your friends victim and myself have been able to join groups and remain so active all this time? because your dumb ass has been single minded focused on one account well now two. don't you have a life? a man? or woman or a hand? Sure don’t got no lawyer. like you need help in many many ways that go beyond psychologically. Some of us over here playing chess while others think it’s checkers and playing themselves hahaha.

anywho, time to get back to baldur's gate that G got me addicted to. But just a few hours, i got a meeting at 11 and admin work to do.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: grooming?, references/mentions to self-harm and suicide

hi so im just sort of. like. going through it right now and ive got like two weeks before i can see my therapist again and id just kinda like a spot to talk about it and stuff so. yk. here i am

for context, when i was like 12 i was Intensely lonely. i went to school in the most desolate, miserable "town" in rural ireland, and idk if you know this but ireland is Kind of Shit. like not terrible awful but just. not. Veery good in terms of bigotry and bullying (+ kids are cruel).

i have autism (that was only diagnosed AFTER i was out of primary school, go figure) which made me a prime target for bullying (mainly in the sense of intense exclusion and social neglect, briefly and rarely broken up by people walking up to me to laugh at me and make a joke out of me). i had like one friend who i hardly spoke to, my grandfather had died that year and i was knee-deep in a self-harm Deal (i refuse to say addiction for my own comfort).

so, as all lonely, mentally unwell children who had unrestricted access to the internet did, i went online to try and make friends. i joined one of those "mental health support" discord servers and started trying to talk to people. i was objectively a lot more Outgoing as a child, so i joined voice calls and spoke in there pretty often to try and socialise. and at one point, in one of the servers (i joined multiple), a certain guy joined the vc, and once everyone left he dm'd me. ill just call him H for convenience (+ iirc his name started with an h? i dont remember though)

i dont remember exactly how he started talking to me (in terms of like, how the conversation went), but we just sorta started talking regularly after.

he asked me about what music i listened to (which was, conveniently, one of the few things i was able to talk about with enthusiasm), asked if my parents knew i listened to music like that. hed ask me to send him picture of my cuts if i self-harmed ("to gauge how bad they were", according to him) ((though of course he specified to "not send them if they were on my tits" <- verbatim)), would just randomly talk about sexual topics (not often, but still). at one point he sent me a picture of a condom he found in a bin at work. sometimes hed just send me pictures of himself just like. hanging out. just of his face and stuff, yk? and idk when i started or why but id send him pictures of myself as well. i sent him a picture of my hair when i first had it cut short. he complimented me a lot. called me cute and pretty and stuff like that. and it was nice because of course it was. at one point im pretty sure he said i seemed more mature for my age (which he knew, since i TOLD him). he was like, 24 i think. hed vent to me a lot as well, and obviously id try to comfort him because i viewed him as like, a friend and stuff. we voice-called pretty often. iirc he specifically asked me to voice call with him. (a lot of this is vague because his account disappeared at some point. idk if he just unfriended me or if he deleted his account) and i vented back to him about how lonely i was and stuff and because i FINALLY had someone who would like. listen to me. someone to talk to, yk?

at some point he texted me at like. 9 pm or whatever telling me he was going to kill himself (a thing which he repeatedly talked to me about). he sent me a picture of himself crying and fucking obviously i panicked i was 12. so i tried to like, convince him not to (and asked another group of people i knew ((who were ALSO all adults)) for help and they didnt really do anything. and also didnt think this was fucking WEIRD. thanks for fucking nothing, tim.) but then H just kinda like. went offline at some point and left me to panic. he was fine though, but he just sorta started ghosting me after that and i had other stuff to focus on at that point so it just kinda. ended like that.

i only remembered any of this recently (which like, i have issues with my short-term memory as is, but like, all this shit happened ages ago and impacted me a lot. i cant talk to people online without being worried im being a creep and stuff) and i didnt really realise how fucking WEIRD it was. but like im still so, yk, confused and self-doubt-y about it. it makes me feel better to call it grooming but i also feel like a fake for it because "oh what if im WRONG. such trauma is not meant for me because such trauma would mean i have some sort of community i could get help from and be a part of, and im not IMPORTANT enough to have impactful, Real trauma" which is just, so dumb but i cant really stop myself.

idk what im expecting to get from sending this but like. i just want something, yk? sorry

-aries

Hey aries,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds like there may have been some grooming involved that led to a very intense situation that, honestly, a 12 year old should not have to deal with. I can also understand the hurt and confusion around him being fine but ghosting you afterwards, as not having closure to an experience like that can feel betraying and disorienting. It makes sense that this had a major impact on you, especially considering that this happened at such a formative time of your life.

It sounds like you may be dealing with self-gaslighting or self-victim blaming surrounding this experience, and please know that you're not alone. But I think it's worth considering that what you went through could definitely be distressing, scary, and involves a life threatening situation with a lot of uncertainty, which is how a lot of people develop trauma, so please know that it's valid to feel traumatized by this experience. Additionally, you deserve support and sense of community, although it may be hard to internalize when you have thoughts that try to convince you otherwise.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could be invaluable to you as you navigate your healing journey. A therapist could work with you to process this trauma and explore these thoughts that can cause obstacles in your healing process.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[thisisntapainting]

actually id like to talk about the ban i recieved from the OFFICIAL cookie run discord , and how it leads to actual ableism

here's the ban message i got:

what did i do to "annoy other people" and "make others feel unsafe" is that i asked somebody in a channel to please write in a way that i could read. i struggle to read most, if not any typing quirks, and i'm known as an avid reader anyways, so this is a glaring issue in accessibility.

when i asked for an accessibility commodation from the user, i was given backlash by at least 3 members of the channel, told i was ableist, and reported in private, seeing as i got the ban about an hour or two later.

being unable to read an unaccessible post led to being banished from a server that, while not enjoyable, i had friends there. THAT IS ABLEISM. i was not offered accomidatikns, i was rather mocked and banished. because i can't read somebody's homestuck ass post, i was banned.

of course, most people who've seen this already agree on the invalidity of it, and i may speak to a few moderators about this soon. however, thw waters are muddlee bexause my post history up to 24hrs earlier was also deleted. thanks, i guess.

either way, i hope somebody sees this and thinks about it. think about how minute internet discourse has led to actual inaccessiblity for the disabled.

[jonghyuns-husband]

CW // rape, drug addiction, alcohol, mental health, (a little) dec 18th

First of all, I would like to apologise for my disappearance from the 30th of July until last night (3rd of August) and everyone who were worried about my well-being and my mental health. Yes it has been deteriorating for the past few years ever since the death of my grandmother, coming out as transgender to my family (they were mostly supportive but I’m talking about my father, some uncles/aunties and my grandfather on my dad’s side), the day I got raped by my cousin’s friend, the death of my long lasting bias, Kim Jonghyun alongside with my (kinda) bias Choi Jinri aka Sulli and now the cyber bullying I’ve been getting ever since I started going on Tumblr (also don’t even forget about the discord incident where I would get kicked out of servers, making me feel alone), but that wasn’t the reason why I got missing.

What really happened was that very day (30th of July) I left the house, I actually went to see a friend and he was a boy from my college. He drove around near Asda just so we could take some drugs outside. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and so, this wasn’t custom to me. I haven’t told anyone this yet (until I speak to the police) so you guys are the first to know.

When I did that, my brain went foggy and he gave me some alcohol to drink until I blacked out and I faded in and out of consciousness. The only things I could remember was being some place soft and warm - like a bed. I could recall him touching my naked body, but I couldn’t get the energy to tell him to stop. He was definitely touching my leg with his hand, but then he went up until he reached up to my part and started doing stuff with it (i don’t want to talk about it but I know the police are going to ask me) that made me uncomfortable, but I passed out again and the next time I was conscious, I would feel my body being moved to somewhere outside, might be the guy but I wasn’t sure.

Then when I went into consciousness again, I found myself talking to the police and I was too drunk or high to speak normally but they took me to the hospital nearby. I had no source of identification involving who I was including an ID or anything. I actually forgotten my phone at home before going out with this guy which was the reason why I wasn’t online for few days.

Nobody knew who I was and they weren’t going to allow me to leave until I had some sort of identification. I was literally a John Doe at that moment. When I went over there, it must has been at least 6 in the morning since outside was bright and I heard a lot of trucks on the road as I was going at the ambulance.

When I was finally sobered up, they all tried to ask me if I knew any phone numbers, which I didn’t because I’m a dumb bitch that knew nothing but the anniversary date for the K-pop group SHINee. But seriously, I didn’t know anybody’s numbers and so I stuck inside this boring hospital until help finally came and I was finally found.

Apparently I’ve been raped according to one of my friend since there was a video that was being sent to people I knew and I seemed to be unconscious. Comparing to what I recalled, this matched perfectly with what I remembered. Although my face wasn’t showing, I could tell it was me since I recognised his voice and my groans were pretty audible. As soon as I was able to see his part on the screen, I started feeling disgusted about myself. I found this out after I got my phone back.

I’m going to tell the police this once they start coming in so they could ask me some questions and if you want I’ll give an update on it. But seriously, I would like to say thank you so much for every single one of you that flooded my phone with loving messages. Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning to end my life because it’s too precious to take away. I’m ok now, I’m with my mother and little sister is super excited to see me coming home like I just came back from military service for about 1 and a half years. Just to let y’all know that I will still be around, come to my house or message me and I’ll give you all my love.

I hope this blog gives you a bit of peace within yourselves and y’all can finally rest knowing that I’m in the arms of a loving mother and that I’m finally coming home.

I love you guys — Asahi.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[proship-selfship]

Im therian, and it took forever for me to find a pack I wanted to join where Id feel safe enough to exist as a person with paraphilic OCD and a therian at the same time. When I finally did, I started noticing all these other therians getting massive hate and suicide baits from people I was following. As soon as I posted saying that there is a huge double standard and that is disgusting of people to suicide bait and isolate and oppress other people for anything that they see as different or wrong that they cant understand, didnt even reference anything paraphilia related, and immediately I got banned from the discord server for the pack, they started posting everywhere about me, the founding member of the pack is schizophrenic like myself and we bonded ovee that briefly, and they started posting about how Im “probably like this because hes schizo” and they got other people to join in calling me crazy, a freak, insane, retarded, etc. All because I said “if you tell someone to kill themselves for any reason, youre disgusting, and having a therian instagram account is for being therian, not discourse, and nobody wants to see you be an asshole on the regular.” These people are fucked up. One of them from the server is a big trauma positivity advocate and straight up told me that there will never be safe places for me to exist and that she hopes I get physically abused and assaulted by anyone who loves me. She also is in self harm recovery, yet told me to cut myself over this. These people will look for literally any chink in your armor and try to exploit it, just to be a justifiable bully. They learned about bullying in school, so they think that because this is towards “awful people” that every single thing an average cyberbully does that they end up replicating in these situations, they tell themselves, “well, Im doing this to a pedophile, so its ok!” No, youre doing it to a person, first and foremost. And people with POCD are people. Maybe if we treated people who are uncomfortable with their paraphilias before they had to learn to love themselves after trying to seek help and the world telling them to stop existing, maybe we would have a lot less actual pedophiles. Antis are fucking insane.

I'm sorry that happened dude, that was fucked up from start to finish. I hope you find a better pack, pack is family. Family doesn't treat each other like that. Fucken antis dude.

[recordsystem]

How do I know if I have a system? I'm pretty sure I do but I'm terrified that I might be faking it. A close friend of mine has told me that there have been times where it seems like someone else is fronting, but I don't remember anything about those times. He had to tell me what happened. Sorry if this is a lot. I'm new to the community and want to learn as much as I can.

hey, im glad you reached out!

First things first: people who are faking plurality are doing it on purpose. you can't accidentally fake being plural so get that worry out of your mind. i promise whatever you are experiencing, plurality or not, you aren't faking it. you aren't appropriating anyone's experience. you're okay.

so while this is a small amount of information the fact that you seem to be losing time and acting like different people implies some sort of dissociative disorder based system. if you have the access to safe mental health care i would definitely recommend going to a therapist about something like this.

other than that, generally i would focus on trying to increase communication between you and your headmates. do you get the feeling there are other people in your head? if you can see/hear them in your head id recommend trying to talk to them.

i personally have never had issues with dissociative barriers between headmates so if you cant speak to them directly and wanna try and approach that issue i would look to systems with DID for advice.

until then id recommend when you get the chance try and leave a post it note in an obvious place for your headmates reaching out to them. id recommend establishing a notebook or discord server that you all can use to leave messages for each other. hopefully you'll be able to contact them and they can help you figure out what's going on/make sure you guys can keep track of everything in your life with the time loss.

hopefully that's a helpful starting place! hope u guys can figure shit out from there. best wishes from the record system!