#i told her no less than three times. are you SURE you want me with schedule conflicts and little actual orchestra experience

[jujus-bizarre-blog]

SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)

I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.

I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.

The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.

We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.

So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".

It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.

Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.

Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???

FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.

All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.

I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.

Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)

AND BONUS THOUGHTS

This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.

Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

SEEN THE FUCKING HORRORS (had to lead and sightread literally 26 hours after being offered principal second)

[skrunksthatwunk]

roommate's partially blind(?) female turtle keeps doing this today to elevate her basking game

[whytheylosttheirminds]

Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 5 (part two)

(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 3.8k words)

series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.

tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder

series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues

⇢ series masterlist

Years later, you’d still wonder if Topper did it all on purpose. 

When you asked him, he’d just wink and say “bet you’d like to know.” 

As your group walked down the dock towards the rental kiosk, Topper pulled out his phone, grinning down at the screen.

“What’s funny?” Carter tried to read over his shoulder.

“Nothing,” he tucked his phone in his pocket quickly, failing to hide the cheeky look in his eyes, zero poker face. “Kelce is coming.”

The guy Carter had haggled with brought your group over to the three jet skis and gave you a demonstration on how to drive them. You weren’t paying very close attention, more focused on the uneven pairing of the five of you and how to ensure you didn’t end up on the same jet ski as Tom. His rudeness this morning was the final nail in the coffin of your crush.

The guy gave Carter three keys, and you met her eyes, knowing she was thinking the same thing. 

Topper looked at Carter hopefully, his big puppy dog eyes watching her with anticipation. You felt for him, the two of you really weren’t all that different. Sure, he’d gotten to hook up with Carter plenty of times, his crush not totally unrequited, but she’d never given him what he really wanted. At the end of the day, you were just two people who were really good at loving people who didn’t love you back. Still, you knew in your heart of hearts that Carter did love him back, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Maybe you would never get your dream, but you could make sure that two people you cared about got theirs, and that might be the only thing that made this all worth it.

You planned it out quick, knowing Carter was seconds from asking you to ride with her so you wouldn’t be with Tom, and also knowing that what she really wanted was an afternoon alone with Topper.

“I told Kelce I’d ride with him,” you blurted out. 

“Did you?” Carter asked skeptically, trying to figure you out.

“Yeah, I think he’s still worried I’m mad at him,” you made up off the top of your head. “Thought I’d throw him a bone.”

Carter watched you the whole time she boarded the back of Topper’s jet ski, telling him to wait up so they didn’t leave you alone. Tom and Sabrina didn’t seem to care about leaving you, speeding off the second they climbed on their jet ski, Sabrina’s over-the-top shrieks echoing through the air.

“That bother you?” Topper asked when he caught you scowling in their direction.

“Actually, I’m thinking they might be made for each other,” you concluded.

“So you’re not, like, into him?” Topper asked hopefully.

“Not anymore. That ship sailed so quick,” you snorted.

“Ah,” he tried to play it cool, “good to know.” 

“Don’t get any fucking ideas,” Carter warned him.

“I didn’t say anything!” He insisted.

“You don’t have to, you have zero poker face,” Carter said. “No Tom does not equal yes Rafe.”

“I’m just saying it’s good to know. Am I not allowed to know things?” 

You rolled your eyes at their bickering, less than surprised they were having this conversation right in front of you.

“Y’know, you guys can just take off, I’ll be fine waiting for Kelce,” you offered, desperate to move this conversation about your love life out to sea and away from you.

“Right, Kelce,” Topper nodded. “Kelce is coming.”

“Why are you being so weird?!” Carter squinted at him.

“I’m not! I just wanna go!” Topper revved the engine of the jet ski.

Carter looked at you one more time, checking that you were okay with this.

“Have fun!” You said to reassure her.

That’s all Topper needed to hear, he hit the throttle and pulled away from the dock as fast as he could. Carter’s laughter filled the air, she grabbed him tight and tucked her chin in the crook of his shoulder as he drove. She was happy, so you were happy. Your whole life, that’s really all it took, and you knew she felt the same way about you.

With that lovely thought, you climbed on the jet ski so you’d be ready to go as soon as Kelce arrived. 

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Rafe held the keys a little too tight, Kelce struggling to pry them from his hands.

“You gotta take it easy on the clutch, she’s sensitive.”

“I know how to drive, man,” Kelce wriggled the keys from his grip as he climbed into the driver’s seat of Rafe’s truck.

Rafe stalled by the door for a minute, his feet suddenly feeling very heavy. He looked around the marina, scanning for the group. His heart skipped a beat when he found only you, bobbing in the water on your jet ski all alone.

He’d texted Topper a head’s up that he was coming and asked him to let you know. He didn’t want you to think he was in on Topper’s dumbass scheme to get you two together. If he was gonna do this he was gonna do it right, not try to trick you into it.

Now you were waiting for him, looking so gorgeous with your legs on either side of the seat and your hair blowing gently in the wind. 

Usually, he didn’t call girls beautiful, typically opting for hot, or sometimes pretty if he was drunk. But the only word for you right now, and always, was beautiful.

“You gonna let me leave, man?” Kelce asked, gesturing to Rafe’s hands, still clutching the handle of the door.

“Yeah, sorry,” Rafe pulled away, wiping his hand against his board shorts when he realized it was clammy, the sight of you making him nervous in a way he had never been before.

“What’s got you so worried? Are you scared of her or something?” Kelce mocked him.

Rafe was surprised that Kelce had actually caught on to who he was looking at, giving him an annoyed eye roll.

“I’m not scared of her,” he defended himself.

“Don’t even worry about it man, I bet she’s still wrapped around your finger.”

Rafe shot Kelce a steely warning look he’d given him a thousand times.

“I’m just saying, you don’t need to worry,” Kelce explained. “You’re the man.”

Kelce was an idiot, and he spent a good ninety percent of their friendship pissing Rafe off, but he always tried to hype Rafe up. Usually he was annoyed by it, but right now, he actually needed it.

You used to talk about him that way, too. Oh, the money he would pay for you to see him in a good light again. He’d swim across this entire bay just to hear one kind word about him coming from your lips. 

“Nah, I’m really not,” he shook his head slightly, looking back toward you. “But I think with her I could be.”

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The audacity, the fucking nerve of him to come strolling down the dock looking that good. The sun actually broke through the crowds at his arrival, like he’d bribed the gods. He strolled towards you so casually, his grin easy, like he didn’t know he was the most attractive man you’d ever seen in real life. It pissed you off.

“What are you doing here?” You snapped at him when he reached you.

His grin faltered, like he was the one surprised to see you.

“Didn’t Topper tell you I was coming?” He asked.

“No, of course he didn’t,” you said, finally understanding the reason for Topper’s strangeness earlier.

“I asked him to,” Rafe swore. “I didn’t want to make you think I was trying to-”

“I think I’m just gonna go alone,” you cut him off, turning the key in the engine of the jet ski, desperate to put an ocean between you and him before he said another considerate thing that he’d just undo later. “You can rent your own.”

“No can do,” said the owner, arriving to hand Rafe a lifejacket. “This is our last one. You better take your boyfriend with you, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes at the situation and the misogynistic comment. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you mumbled. 

Rafe felt the correction was unnecessary, but you didn’t seem to be in the mood for constructive feedback at the moment.

“Is it cool if I, uh, can I come with you?” He wasn’t walking back down this dock without trying.

“Fine,” you agreed reluctantly. “But I’m driving.”

“Good with me,” he climbed on quickly before you could change your mind.

With a kick that sent you both lurching forward, the jet ski roared as you tightened your hand on the throttle. Instinctually, Rafe’s hands landed on your side, holding you both in place. You only had a second to feel the pads of his fingers clinging to the soft skin of your waist before he pulled them away.

“Shit, sorry,” he said.

The guy on the dock leaned forward to push the jet ski from the dock, redirecting you out toward the bay.

“No, actually you should hold on,” he instructed. “These babies go fast and it’s a little choppy out there today. Take it real easy out of the marina and then you can kick it up when you’re in open water.”

You could feel Rafe’s hands twitch with hesitancy before they rested on your sides again, so lightly you wondered if he was actually touching you at all.

With a push, you drifted out to sea, slowly picking up speed with the turn of the throttle.

“Do you want me to let go?” He asked, leaning in so you could hear him over the roar of the motor.

Somehow, you thought two completely conflicting thoughts at the exact same time:

Yes, now.

and

No, never.

You settled on, “whatever.”

Rafe started to let go, but the jet ski hit the wake of a nearby boat, and you both nearly flew off the seat. His grip tightened protectively, practically pinning your body down. With his strong hands on you so firmly, it felt like you could hit a tidal wave and he’d still have you in his grasp. You needed more of whatever that was.

Your laughter filled the salty air as you purposefully drove you and Rafe over the choppiest patches of the water, hair whipping behind you into his face, and he didn’t even care. He watched you in the side view mirror on the front of the jet ski, memorizing every inch of your smile like he’d never see it again.

“Jesus, are you trying to kill us?” He teased, yelling over the woosh of the wind.

“It’d be a fun way to go!” You yelled back, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Rafe’s hands still on your waist, you felt him lean in slightly. Even with two lifejackets between you, the proximity of your bodies was electrifying. You could feel his strong thighs on either side of your hips, closing you in everytime you hit a bump, securing you in place. You wondered if he was doing it on purpose or if it was just his instinct, you didn’t know which was hotter.

The water rushed behind you, a foamy wake marking your path as you continued driving as fast as you could. The others must’ve gone a different way out of the marina, because they were nowhere in sight. The sky was darkening slightly, the shift in weather causing most boats to drive the opposite way, back to the docks. But you just kept going, and Rafe didn’t tell you to turn around, both drunk on the adrenaline of the speed and the feeling of each other’s skin.

After a particularly jostling bump, the engine sputtered slightly.

“Fuck, what was that?” You puzzled, turning the throttle harder but gaining no speed.

“Here, you gotta twist it like this,” Rafe’s arms wrapped around you, his hands covering yours as he guided you to turn the throttle in the exact way you just were.

“That’s exactly what I was doing,” you bickered. “It’s not working.”

“Maybe I should drive?”

“It’s not my driving, something’s wrong with the jet ski,” you argued, swatting his hands away. 

“Can you just let me try?” He argued back.

“No, you’re making it worse!” 

The engine continued to sputter until it cut completely, causing both your bodies to lunge forward as it came to an abrupt halt.

“Rafe what did you do?” You accused him.

“What did I do? You wouldn’t even let me touch it!” He snapped.

You turned the key in the ignition over and over. The jet ski growled a few times but never started back up. Eventually, you gave up with a frustrated huff.

“I think we’re out of gas,” you conceded.

“Well, did you ask the guy if it was filled before you left?” Rafe questioned.

“Oh, so now this is my fault?” You craned your neck to see him, anger in your eyes.

“No, that’s not-”

“I’m so tired of this, Rafe.”

“We’ve only been out here for like a minute.”

“No, not this,” you motioned toward the water, “this,” you motioned between you and him.

“Oh. Me?” He tried and failed to hide his hurt feelings.

“Not you, just, all this back and forth. One second we’re having a good time and the next you’re pulling away or snapping at me. I have fucking whiplash.”

“Are you sure it’s not just from the jet ski?” He attempted a joke, it only half worked.

“How are we gonna get back?” You redirected the conversation before he could see you were smirking.

“A boat will come by,” he said confidently. “We’ll be fine.”

No boats came by in the following minute, or the following five. You sat in tense silence, your previous words still hanging between you. Your head hurt from the wind and trying to figure this man out.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, almost inaudible. “I know I’m…difficult.”

You turned your neck, not quite far enough to see him, but enough to let him know you were listening, that he should go on.

“I don’t know how to act around you,” he admitted. “One second I feel like I’ve fucked it up so bad that there’s not even a point in trying to fix it and the next…”

This time, you do turn, twisting your torso so you could look him intently in the eyes, imploring him to say something right for once, begging him not to let you fall off this cliff alone again.

“…you look at me like that,” he almost whispered. “And then I think fuck it, I’d try forever if you let me.”

For the first time ever, he was with you on the way down, finally jumping together.

“Can I?” He asked, voice low.

“Can you what?” you blinked at him slowly, the moment so surreal you worried it wasn’t happening, that you’d wake up in Carter’s bed, all of this day just one long fever dream.

“Fix things…with you?”

“I don’t know.”

It was the most honest answer you could give him.

“Can I try?” His voice broke slightly when he said it, and you could feel the vulnerability leaking through the cracks.

“Yeah,” you gave in.

“I miss you,” he breathed, and your heart felt heavy with longing and resentment at the same time.

“I don’t think you ever really knew me, Rafe,” you said, turning to face forward again, sad eyes scanning the horizon. “You never paid close enough attention.”

He thought over your words, and you could feel that there was something brewing in his mind, a decision he was making. When he finally spoke again, it wasn’t the words you expected.

“What’s your favorite color?”

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face as you said, “huh?”

“Just tell me,” he smiled back, even though you weren’t looking, you could hear it in his voice.

You answered him, and he followed that question up with another, and another, and they kept rolling off his tongue and you kept answering, until the strangeness of it faded and the two of you were just talking.

For over an hour, you drifted, leaning forward on the handlebars with your back to him as Rafe asked you questions and listened intently to your long, detailed answers. You were hesitant, just at first. No one had ever let you talk this long without interrupting you. No one had ever wanted so badly to hear what you had to say. He nodded along to everything, responding with thoughtful mhms and carefully worded follow up questions.

After a while, you forgot about the surrealness of it all, where you were, who you were with. It was just you and your old friend, sharing your lives with each other. 

I could do this for a long time, you thought, like maybe forever.

Everytime you thought he must be bored by now, he just kept asking, hanging on every word like he was collecting them for some secret project.

“What do you want to do after you graduate?” and “Who’s your closest friend?” and “Are you still into that one band?” and eventually, when he was running low on ideas, “what’s the last movie you saw?”

You laughed. 

“What?” He asked with a timidness that squeezed your heart.

“The last movie I saw was the last movie you saw,” you reminded him.

“Oh, right,” he chuckled, but there was an edge to it.

“It’s a good movie, though,” you leaned back toward him a little, trying to pull him from whatever thoughts were causing his spirit to fall. “My favorite.”

He nodded, “Tom did a nice job putting together that little shindig.”

“I guess so,” you said, not sure how to proceed.

“You know he plays football for U of F?” He said. “Or did I guess, before he graduated.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, he was All American,” he nodded. You’d give all the money you had for one glimpse of what was going on in his head.

“He’s an impressive guy,” he admitted. “I can see why you’d end up in his room.”

“Rafe, oh my god,” you huffed, standing suddenly. Your body rose above him, his eyes tracking every movement. You swung your leg over the seat, flipping around so you were facing him, sitting back down so you could look him in the eyes when you said, “I didn’t sleep in Tom’s room.”

“Oh.”

It was all he could muster up, his throat going dry from both the embarrassment he felt for being wrong and the sudden proximity of your bodies. He willed himself not to let his eyes travel down to the way your lifejacket was pushing your chest together, or the soft skin of your bare thighs, now spread open in front of him as you straddled the seat. He kept his eyes on yours, the most respectful option, though it didn’t help his speechlessness. The uninterrupted contact with your beautiful irises nearly put him over the edge. He almost hoped no boats would come by after all so he could look into your eyes for hours.

“Is that why you got up and left last night?” You questioned, not missing the way his eyes were trained intensely on yours.

“The floor was uncomfortable,” he mumbled.

“The floor,” you nodded, “the floor was uncomfortable. Got it.”

“You're mad at me again,” he surmised.

“When was I ever not mad at you?” 

“I dunno,” he shrugged sarcastically, “somewhere between the movie and your panties hitting the floor.”

You wanted to slap him. And kiss him. He could tell, teasing you with a sideways smirk. You tried to channel the newfound confidence you’d had last night, addicted to the taste of power.

You leaned forward, hands on the leather seat between you, looking up at him with hooded eyes.

“Did you like that?” 

“You know I did.” 

He responded so fast and his voice was so low you couldn’t tell if he was pissed off or turned on. Either way, he wasn’t fucking around anymore.

“Then why didn’t you stay?” 

It felt like that one question held so many questions, and based on the look on his face, you knew he could hear it too. You weren’t just asking about last night, you weren’t just asking why he went to sleep on the couch. You were asking about years of him coming up short, why he’d failed you so many times, why he never, ever seemed to pick you.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

As he said it, the wind kicked up, and the jet ski began to rock even harder as waves rose and fell beneath you. One particularly choppy wave had you tilting a little too far off the seat, and Rafe’s hands landed on your waist again. This time, there was nothing hesitant about it. When you didn’t push him away, his thumb brushed an experimental circle into your skin.

“Do you want me to let go?”

In lieu of answering, your hands came to rest over his. He assumed you were gonna pull them off of you, and for a moment you thought you might too, but then his words echoed in your mind: he didn’t know you wanted him to.

You could do this. You could lean into it and just let it happen. You were supposed to fight it, make him grovel more, make him pay you back for the years you’d waited. It’s what everyone expected. You were only a few hundred yards off shore, but the rest of the world felt lightyears away, and out here, there was nothing stopping you letting him touch you, kiss you, have you. You could just let it happen, and no one would have to know.

But before you could decide if you wanted to, a deep rumble of thunder broke out across the sky.

“Shit,” you jumped. 

“We gotta get out of here,” Rafe looked up at the darkening sky nervously.

“But how?” 

“How well can you swim?”

That’s how Rafe ended up in the water, gripping the back of the jet ski as the waves rocked it harshly, water splashing up and landing on your feet. You tightened your lifejacket, feeling apprehensive about the whole thing.

“I can just push us if you want to stay on,” Rafe offered.

“No, it’ll go faster if it’s both of us.”

You stepped to the edge, hesitating, wanting to rip the bandaid and just jump in but not wanting to jump too far off and get separated. Your indecision cost you, your foot slipped and you dropped into the water, your leg scraping against the edge of the jet ski as you fell. 

Blinded by pain, you reached for Rafe as your head slipped under the surface, but your hands came up empty.

(Chapter 6: part one)

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a/n: please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 💕

[bluebellhairpin]

Cregan Stark X Wife!Reader

Summary: Preparation to leave to Castle Black for the winter months is well under way, and you're reluctant to be left alone in Winterfell. Cregan, having had the same worry, provides what could be a solution. A solution with a name. And fur. (wc. 2.3k>)

Warnings: Reader has she/her pronouns + fem bodied. Pregnancy. Assassination attempt. Unnamed character death. Blood + gore. Cregan wants to be a girl dad. Unedited (lol).

Listening to: 'Wolf at Your Door' by Chole x Halle - "When you're laying in your bed at night, when the air's just a little too quiet, better hope that you're saying your prayers."

Series Masterlist || Masterlist || Ko-Fi || AO3 link

Winterfell was a somber place when the cold rolled down from the north. 

Although only ten men were sent to the wall every winter, everyone left behind knew someone who was sent away. No matter how short of a life you lived, you also always knew someone who died there. Indeed, life on the wall was as harsh as the force it existence kept at bay. 

For you though, the man you lost always returned. The last three winters had you spend upwards of three months without your husband - and in turn rising to take his place as custodian of Winterfell. No matter how busy the role kept you, it never helped you miss Cregan Stark any less. 

With winter approaching once more, each moment with him seemed to not be enough. Yes, the Wall was dangerous, and even Cregan was never guaranteed to return, but this year there was something else that willed you to want him to stay. Something else that made him want to stay too. 

“Each day my resolve seems to crack,” he told you one night, fire cracked in its hearth as you both lay under blankets of fur. His hand rested protectively over your belly. “Already now I can see our babe grow, and I know I’ll not only be missing you but her too.”

“‘Her’?” you hummed, head turning to nose his cheek. “Such a confident tone, my lord.” 

“I am confident.” he replied, turning to press a soft kiss to your lips as his hand idlily rubbed along your stomach. 

“And if you needed an heir at the end of this cold winter, what then?” 

“If my lady wife deems me worthy, we might try for one again.” he said, sedating what could’ve been the start of your mood change with words almost too sweet to be coming from the frosty king in the north. “But that is something we can decide once all three of us are safe together when summer rises.” 

Cregan’s soft words and warm breath on your cheeks made your mind wandered to a time not so far away where you wouldn’t have his heat so close. A time when his comfort was going to be gone. 

“I’m going to miss you.” you said, turning into his hold more, and he let you snuggle into his chest. “This time will feel longer than all the others.”

“I doubt that will be the case for you.” he said, lips moving from their place pressed into your hair. “Winterfell will keep you busy, between that and resting for the babe’s sake, you won’t have time on your hands for much else.” 

“I may not want to rest.”

“You will. The Lord of Winterfell commands it.” 

“The Lord of Winterfell won’t be here, he cannot have a for sure say in what I do or do not do.” You felt him smile into your hair, and you pulled away with a twitch of your own mouth. “What?”

He pulled away a little too, shyly smiling down at where you still laid. He was acting far too coy to be considered normal. 

“I might not be leaving you completely alone.” 

“... Cregan.” you started, sitting up on our elbow. 

“I was going to show you on the morrow, but since you’ve forced my hand -”

“-I? Forcing your hand?”

“- Since you forced my hand,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he slipped out from the bedcovers, “I will be right back.”

“What…” You tried, but your voice tempered out as he swiftly made his way from your bedchambers. 

Sighing, you sat back in your pillows, arms folded, and refraining from pouting. It wasn’t long into your settled position of guessing what in the seven kingdoms your husband was doing before he was back. 

Cregan had clearly gone outside, snow settled on the top of his hair and along the shoulders of the fur cloak he snatched before leaving. In his arms was something squirming. You frowned, eyeing the movement under the cloak as he strode over. 

“What is that?” you asked. 

“A protector for the Lady of Winterfell, as per the orders of her lord husband.” Cregan said, and let the squirming mass break free from his hold onto the bed. 

It was a… pup? No not possible, it was too big. From how it acted it was a few months surely, but it was just so big. Then you thought some more. Could it really be? 

“A direwolf?” 

“Not any direwolf. Yours.” Cregan said, rounding the bed and settling back at your side. “A protector to be at your side when I cannot. I’ve been training him and he follows commands well already. By the time I leave he should be grown to the size of any regular dog - then at least twice that when I return.” 

While he spoke, the pup sniffed around your bed covers, curiously wandering on unsteady feet. You had to admit, he looked gorgeous, all black fur, with green eyes, and you didn’t doubt he would grow to be a fierce thing. But sometimes that wasn’t always good. 

“Cregan, are you sure about this?” you asked. “It’s… he’s a direwolf, not a dog.” 

“I’m sure,” he said, lending his arm out. The pup stepped closer, licking Cregan’s fingers and settling on its belly with its nose on Cregan’s knee. “They’re our house symbol. The direwolf are as Stark as I am, they know who we are, and they can be as loyal as they are fierce. That’s why I wanted to introduce you before I left. He’s going to be yours, loyal to you.” 

His arm wrapped around your shoulder, and like second nature you made yourself comfortable by his side. The pup shifted too, now his nose was itching closer to you, wanting to know who this new person was. 

“I supposed you ought to tell me what I'm going to be calling him then.”

“You can call him anything you like,” Cregan said, “But I’ve been calling him Striker.”

Five months passed, and Cregan was right. You were never without anything to do. 

The babe growing inside you made mornings rough, and you often weren’t seen before noon, especially in the earlier months. The rest of your day was spent catching up on what you’d missed while resting, and then catching up on what you missed while catching up. Then the evenings were spent with Striker. 

He had grown on you, just as he had grown physically. Cregan was still able to lift the wolf when he left, but now you doubted it. He was already well on his way to rivalling a regular wolf in size. Despite how intimidating that might’ve been, you couldn’t be more fond of Striker even if you tried. 

Your belly swelled, and with it so did the direwolf’s protectiveness. Your handmaids were tolerated, your guards struggled to be in the same room, and when the maesters dared tough you Striker had to be sent out of the room. Walks around Winterfell were soon out of the question, at least if you were to bring the direwolf along, since he took to growling at everyone who stood too close. 

Cregan really picked well, Striker surely was serving his purpose, and soon he earned his namesake. 

Word came from Castle Black that Cregan was going to return, that the Winter had been fended off once more. That brought joy foremost to you, but really all in Winterfell knew what that meant, even if Westeros didn’t. It was cause for celebration when they returned. 

It also gave a false sense of security. Winter was gone, and so was the evil - but evil didn’t just come from the north. It could come from anywhere. 

You’d settled into bed for the night, Striker laid beside you, head facing towards the door, and your hand rested on his flank as you looked over one last paper. He growled, and you petted his fur, silently reassuring him that it was just a guard passing outside - but then his head lifted, and turned toward your window. His sudden, still alertness put you on edge. 

He’d been hostile before, but this was aggressive. 

Candle flames flickered, Striker’s fur stood on end beneath your palm, the latch on your window clicked open, creaked open, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. A cloaked figure slipped into your room, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to cry for help - nor to remember anything Cregan had taught you. But you didn’t have to.

The figure, a man, unsheathed a knife, and with the glint of steel in the candlelight Striker struck. He surged off the bed with a vicious bark and bit into the man’s arm, snarling all the while and all but went to tearing the man to shreds. 

The commotion had people coming in through the door, and the sight had you still rendered motionless and speechless. 

The man’s cloak was torn away, and by now he was pinned to the floor, blood pooling on the stone as he fruitlessly tried to get Striker off him. You barely registered your guard, Gunther, asking you what was happening.

“He came in the window. He had a knife.” was all you could say. You could guess he was saying things to calm you down as he pried your fingers off your bedsheets that covered your swollen belly - he was probably trying to get you out of the room so you didn’t see the mess. It was too late for that. The man was a whimpering, bloodied mess on the floor by now, and no one had yet been brave enough to pry Striker’s jaw off his shoulder. 

Gunther had an arm around you with your hand in his, guiding you away. Others attempted to move closer, either to help the man or take him away - but Striker was still growling. 

“Striker, here.” you called, just finding your voice enough for it to carry over the commotion. The direwolf looked up, and seeing you being led away, he relented, fitting into your side with ease. 

The three of you walked away. Now you were away from the scene you could think again and guess you were going down the hall to another room, one you decided you’d stay in until Cregan returned. 

You looked down at Striker, threading your fingers though the fur at his neck. 

“Good boy.” you said, stroking between his ears. 

“He sure is, my lady.” Gunther said, “Who knows what could’ve happened if he didn’t act so fast.” 

You smiled a little at that, at how right Cregan was in leaving the direwolf for you. He was meant to be company, a protector second - but tonight he proved to be as good, as loyal as any of your guards. He proved to be the real sigil of House Stark - just as Cregan told you he was. 

You reached the door of your new room, and as your hand lifted off Striker’s back you noticed it chill with the cold night air. Turning your palm over, you saw red - and Striker’s nose made home in your fingers, licking away every drop as if it wasn’t ever there to begin with.

A week later, Cregan returned. 

You had been in a foul mood for the past three days, since the maester had put you on strict bed rest because of the babe. Therefore you had been deemed unfit to greet your husband at the gate as he finally came home. In your defense, it definitely seemed like a good reason to be sour. 

So you waited, sat on a chaise, with Striker’s head in your lap pressed to your stomach. 

You could hear a commotion outsider, which only made your face scrunch in annoyance - not just at missing out but also at the pity looked you knew your handmaiden would be giving you. She offered to go fetch Cregan, and you nodded her leave with a wave of your hand. 

“He will be here soon.” you said, cradling Striker’s muzzle in your palms. 

“Indeed he will.” Cregan said. 

“Oh, Lord Stark!” your handmaid said, startled. Your head turned, and you saw him standing in the doorway. 

“Cregan!” you said, grin covering your face - and even after such a long time away, Striker seemed to recognize him, for he didn’t growl, and his tail started thumping against the rug. 

“My love,” he said, shedding his great sword carelessly, and sunk to the floor beside where you sat. You heard your handmaid mumble a goodbye before stepping out and closing the door behind you. “Are you alright?” 

“I couldn’t be better now.” you replied, feeling tears welling in your eyes as you took in your husband's face for the first time in months. He looked tired, older, but as you took his face in your hands his cheeks felt exactly the same as they were when he left. “I missed you so much.” 

“I heard about what happened the other night. I -” he said, mouth hanging open in what could’ve been shock, in his eyes there could’ve been anger. Vengeance would do nothing now, the man was dead, he bled out before anyone could decide to give him mercy - undeserved or otherwise. But as Cregan leant forward to hold you into his arms, his warmth felt like nothing else except fear. “I can’t believe I could’ve lost you.” 

“You didn’t.” you said, taking an arm away from being wrapped around his shoulders to pull his face away from your chest. “You provided the means for me to stay safe long before you left. Striker was better than any guard. He was fearless when I was frozen. I owe him my life, all because of you.” 

Cregan’s face turned soft, and he smiled at you. He leant forward and kissed you. For the first time in too long, his lips move against yours. You felt his jaw move beneath your palm as his fingers grazed your neck and held onto your hip. When he pulled away, he kept your head cradled close to his. 

“I love you.” he said. 

“I love you too.” you replied, and he smiled, pressing another kiss to your lips, then your cheek. 

“Now tell me all about how my little girl is growing.”

[ellecdc]

James' Love & the Adventures of Padvix

poly!marauders x fem!reader who is very foxy [1.2k words]

CW: animagus reader, modern AU but still magical, they're staying at an airBNB, padfoot and vixen are out of control and James [+ Remus] are smitten

Remus looked so pretty; his cheeks and nose kissed pink by the cold, a soft, satisfied smile on his face, and the snowflakes landing on his hat and tawny curls poking out from under it that took their sweet time to melt under his effervescent warmth. 

James was in love. 

“Are you going to help me here or are you just going to keep staring?” Remus commented then, not bothering to look up at his boyfriend whilst a cheeky smirk danced on his lips. 

James wanted to kiss him senseless. 

So he did. 

Remus tasted like the peppermint hot chocolate he enjoyed earlier, the peppermint hot chocolate he’d probably enjoy when they got back inside, the cold winter air, and happiness. 

James was in love. 

“Sorry Moons.” He murmured against his lips before pressing one more, two more, let’s make it three more kisses to his lips before he did indeed help load the chopped wood into the strong IKEA bags.

The two of them stepped into the steamy warm cabin. No, it wasn’t actually steamy, that was just James’ glasses. But before James' bag of firewood even hit the ground, gentle fingers were pulling them from his face before Remus pressed a kiss to his nose. 

James was in love. 

De-fog-ified, James’ glasses made themselves back home on his face as he looked around the living space of the small cabin the four of you had rented for the week. 

“Where’d they go?” He inquired aloud, hearing a canine ‘oomph’ in response. 

Remus and James both moved to stand behind the sofa to find you and Sirius - or, rather, Pads and Vix - on the rug in front of the fire. Padfoot appeared to be laying casually (which told James and Remus that he was very much up to something) whilst Vix performed dramatic “mousing” jumps onto Padfoot’s back, eliciting those canine “oomph’s” they had heard upon entering. 

James was in love. 

“I’m pretty sure this airBNB was ‘no pets allowed’ you two.” Remus teased, though he seemed no less pleased at watching the two of you roughhouse. 

“Please.” James scoffed as he lazily fell over the back of the sofa. “A quick vanishing spell and we’ll be leaving this place cleaner than we found it.” 

“Why do you think we get perfect ratings for every place we rent?” Remus chuckled as he navigated around the sofa like a normal person, lifting his leg when you started to zoomie across the area rug and nearly collided with him. “Merlin, Vix, you’re a hazard.” 

Padfoot let out what sounded awfully close to a laugh before Vix went to do one of her mousing jumps at him again, only for him to roll onto his back so that her front paws landed into his stomach and then rolled back over, completely encapsulating the much smaller fox under his large frame. 

If James was none the wiser, he would have assumed that the dog was the only animal in the dwelling; Padfoot returning to laying far too casually. 

James was in love. 

“Padfoot.” Remus chided, giving the dog a look of faux exasperation. “Can she even breathe under there?” 

The dog huffed in a way that told both boys he was rolling his eyes before two front paws circled the tip of his tail and two back paws started bunny kicking the base. Padfoot seemed to be cocking an unimpressed eyebrow at the little vixen as James started cackling. 

“She’s wild today.” 

“I have a feeling it’s not one sided.” Remus murmured in response as Vix’s head popped out from under the large dog's fur, the two of them staring each other down before both of Padfoot’s front paws slammed down onto the rug in an invitation to play, and Vix launched herself at his face. 

Vix ended up on her back between his paws as she swatted and nipped at Padfoot’s muzzle and bunny kicked the thick fur around his neck as Padfoot mouth-wrestled and gently nipped at Vix’s scruff. 

“Oh come on you guys,” James moaned, “you’re gonna be all slobbery!” 

Padfoot stood then - tail straight up in the air and wagging slowly - allowing Vix to stand and bolt in one direction, reappearing from the other side of the room before Padfoot even began his chase. 

James was almost dizzy when all he could see was the occasional blur of orange fur and Padfoot pausing in the middle of the room with his ears and tail up before the blur reappeared and he took off again after her, Remus laughing so heartily at the chaos that he ended up nearly collapsing into James’ side. 

James was in love. 

The room fell eerily quiet for a moment before Vix flew over the back of the sofa, landing between James and Remus, and Padfoot appeared in front of them looking disturbingly close to launching his very large frame at the bunch of them. 

“Pads, don’t you dare!” Remus shouted through a laugh, holding his hands up as if ready to fend off the large dog. 

Vix seemed to think it was hilarious too; the high pitched cackling sound foxes often make leaving her mouth as she flattened herself to the sofa - so happy, so excited, so full of love that her entire little body seemed wholly incapable of staying still. 

James was in love. 

Padfoot let out an excited bark and licked excitedly at Remus’ hands before moving his affection to Vix’s head. 

“No!” James laughed before scooping the fox up into his arms. “I want cuddles before the two of you are covered in slobber.” 

Vix melted into James’ embrace whilst Padfoot clumsily made his way up onto the sofa that he was a little too big to fit on, though Remus still did his best to accommodate him. 

“The two of you are menaces.” Remus muttered good naturedly as he threw his arm over the back of the sofa. 

“She started it!” The now human form of Sirius argued as he leaned into Remus's side.

“Who? Her?” James asked as he held Vix’s little face up against his own, both of them shooting Sirius their best puppy dog face. “Sirius, look at her. How could she be the problem?”

“So what? I’m automatically the problem?” Sirius scoffed in offence. 

“Yes.” James and Remus chorused. 

“I’m cute too!” Sirius nearly shrieked then. 

“Adorable.” Remus agreed quickly. “But you’re the kind of cute that screams trouble.” 

“Oh, as opposed to what? Her innocence?” Sirius muttered then, gesturing to Vix with a frustrated hand. 

His ire melted away, though, when the fox gave his hand a gentle lick. 

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, she’s adorable.” He grumbled petulantly as he stole the fox from James’ embrace, cradling it in his arms so Remus and James could admire you from over his shoulders.

You melted back into yourself then, smiling widely up at the three boys; love, mischief, excitement, and contentment oozing from your being that could only come with knowing how loved you were and loving them just as much in turn. 

James was so in love.

[madamtrashbat]

When I was ten, we lived on a rice farm with a lot of big buildings in the middle of nowhere. One of the shitty employees of the rice farm decided that, because we had barn cats on the premises, it was perfectly fine to dump a litter of very small kittens into one of the barns.

(I hate her I hate her I hate her)

The kittens were not old enough to be on their own, and despite one of the barn cats looking after them, the majority of them did not make it. All except for one, a little tuxedo that let my dad pick it up.

He brought it into the house, and I decided I was going to nurse it back to health. He was mostly black with a white chin, little white toes, and a white belly. He was so small. I fell in love with him.

I named him Pookie.

He would curl up in the crook of my neck and sleep on my shoulder, where it was warm. He was eating the cat food I mushed up with water, and for three days I thought he might make it.

Then, inexplicably, our dog Fancy, a heeler/shepherd mix, attacked him in the laundry room. She had never done anything like that before and never did anything like that afterwards. I never knew why she did what she did.

I begged my parents to take him to the vet. Please, see if there's anything we can do. I want to save him so badly.

But we had very little money at the time, and my mom couldn't justify an enormous vet bill for a cat we'd had for less than a week that there was surely nothing to do for.

I put him in his basket that night with food and water and many blankets. He had no external injuries besides a nosebleed, so I hoped it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

He didn't see the morning. My dad buried him in the flowerbed without much ado.

I cried for two days into the arms of an unsympathetic mother who didn't understand why I felt so strongly over a cat we'd had for three days, bombarded with criticism from a judgmental sister who severely disliked cats. My dad did his best to try and comfort me, but he's not the best with emotions and didn't know what to say.

It has stuck with me for 20 years. I wonder, from time to time, if I did enough. If I'd kept him in my room instead of the laundry room, if I'd looked up how to care for him, if I'd kept closer watch on him and kept the dog away from him, would he have lived. Would he still have been my cat. Would he have known a life of love and warm fireplaces and full bellies and cuddling into my shoulders until he was too big to fit.

I'll never know.

I told Sawyer about this recently, in a moment of emotional upheaval where I was just spewing out a list of things that had happened in my past that I'd never really gotten over. The conviction of my sadness apparently struck a deep chord with Sawyer, who decided to make me a memorial for Pookie to keep his memory close.

No one else had taken my emotions regarding Pookie seriously. Not until now. And not only did Sawyer take it seriously, the emotional vomit of an adult woman still crying over a cat she had for three days in fifth grade, but Sawyer thought it important enough that it should never be forgotten.

It's nice, sometimes, to know the person you've chosen to go through life with is the best person in the world for you.

[mrsparrasblog]

POLY 141 x pregnant Reader

reaction if they are the biological father. if they are not the Dad

Postpartum Depression

Ever thought about what it would be like to be pregnant with this gigantic pile of handsome men? Because I've thought about it, and I can go into heavy detail—I will go into heavy detail!

Price: This man has a heavy breeding kink, and no one can convince me otherwise. He was so happy when he found out you were pregnant that he immediately got into heavy Dad mode. "What do you mean?" he asked after you told him he doesn't need to baby-proof the house when you're only in the second month. He attends baby preparation courses with you and overall turns into a super daddy.

Johnny: The second one with a heavy breeding kink is 100% sure he is the father. "It's the MacTavish genes," he says confidently. "We're going to have at least three bairns by the end of the five-year mark." He wouldn't admit it, but he called his mother crying while he told her the news. The MacTavish Family was special, so they all came with big stroller gifts and the urge to overwhelm you with their love. They don't care who the baby's biological father is; in their hearts, you're a MacTavish, exactly like your sweet little bairn.

Kyle: He is really excited. He already loves the baby and is also 100% sure it's his because you two have the most sex out of all of them. He always fights with Johnny about who the father probably is. Kyle is the one who thinks the most about you. He knows how you struggle with the pregnancy and how it isn't easy for you with all the overwhelming baby daddies around you, so he takes his time to care about you. He compliments you more than ever, and if you have a weird craving, he's already ordered it before you even said a word. He is constantly trying to find a baby-safe option of your favorite food. He doesn't drink coffee anymore so you don't mourn alone. Check-up? He is the first to be there, and when the baby was born and everyone looked at it, he went to you. Not because he loves the baby less—it's his world—but because he was so afraid the whole pregnancy of losing his soulmate, the only thing worth fighting for, the only thing that kept him alive.

Ghost: He never wanted kids—at least he thought he didn't—but it made sense with you. He knew you would be the best mother in the world. So why was he so afraid? He thought about how he could hurt the baby all the time with his pure strength or how he would scare the baby or hurt you. For a blissful second, he thought maybe it would be better if he left so you'd be safe from all the shadows of his past. But he was better than his family. He bought lots of parenting books, went to his psychologist regularly, and attended dad meetings, not daddy meetings—a terrible mistake he made. He even bought you a guard dog for the possibility that you and the baby are alone. To his surprise, but not to yours, he was the most gentle and understanding dad there ever was.

Dont ask me why my brain came up with this weird stuff again but Im already thinking about how they react when they found out who the biological father is lol

[petertingle-yipyip]

DONT BE A FOOL - MATT MURDOCK

Pairing: matt x wife!reader

Word Count: 2, 156

Summary: After a very tense argument about a misused name, your apologetic husband ends up getting looped in by your students.

//follow-up to three empty words but can probably be read on its own. i realize i lost the original plot so if it’s too bothersome, i’ll rewrite it// rewrite/part three?

The next morning, you refused to dilly dally your morning routine. Your shower was quick, your hair and makeup remained simple. Even your outfit was more or less the first thing you grabbed from your closet. You gathered all of your papers - which you hadn’t gotten around to grading the night before - and your laptop before Matt’s alarm had even gone off.

You skipped making breakfast, deciding to stop at a coffee shop on the way to work instead, and hustled out the door. You ignored the still sleeping figure of Elektra on your couch even though your brain wanted to soak her with cold water and kick her out. You did slam the door on your way out but that was just to satisfy your own anger.

You walked into your classroom and let out a loud sigh as you dropped into your deskchair. You were thankful to be out of the house, in your own space for the time being. As you began grading the papers and piling them according to the hours, your mind wandered back to the night before. You wondered if Elektra would be out of your apartment when you got back. You wondered if Matt would tell Foggy and Karen that you two got into a fight last night. You then found yourself wondering if Matt was actually going to go to work that morning.

You realized you were staring blankly at the student’s worksheet in front of you so you shook the thoughts and focused on the daunting stacks before you.

Most of the hours were business as usual. Your normal rowdy students were a bit extra, but that might’ve been due to your already grated nerves more than their own behaviors. It wasn’t until the hour before lunch that you found some of your students more huddled and secretive than usual.

“What are you doing in the corner?” You called, peaking over your computer at the small group. “There’s, what, five minutes till the bell?”

“Mrs. Murdock, what’s your husband’s name?” One of the girls, Liv, asked with an innocent expression. The same one she gave you when she explained her lacking assignments.

“Matthew.” You titled down your screen to see them better. “Why?”

“What does he do again?”

“Lawyer. Why?”

“Is he handsome?” Another girl, Nicole, asked with wiggling eyebrows.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes at your middle schoolers.

“Yes, very.” You smiled slightly. “I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t.”

“And if he’s a lawyer, he’s gotta be smart, right?”

“Again, very. He went to Columbia.”

“So like… Is he why you’re so sad today?” Blake, the only boy in the group, chimed in with a nonchalant shrug.

“Guys.” You frowned slightly. “I’m not sure what you’re doing, but I’m not sad. Me and Mr. Murdock are fine. We’re happily married. And you should be worried about your own relationship drama, not mine.”

“So you admit there’s drama?” Nicole countered quickly.

“Between Blake and Emmy? Yes.” You nodded and Emmy’s jaw dropped while her friends poked her teasingly. “Between me and Mr. Murdock, no.”

“Mhmm.. So why is the photo face down?”

“What?”

“The photo by your computer.” She came across the room and lifted the frame near your laptop that was in fact, face down. “You told us on the first day that this was one your favorite photos and you have it on it’s face… There’s drama, Mrs. Murdock.”

“You’re very observant, Nicole. Thank you.” You said flatly as you took the frame from her hands and set it in it’s rightful position. “I must’ve knocked it over when I was trying to find you and Liv’s missing portfolio project.” “You can’t deflect, Mrs. M.” Liv added from across the room. “It’s all over your face.”

“Y’know what.” You announced, standing from your desk. “The bell rings in less than two minutes. You guys can all go to lunch early.”

A chorus of questions arose while you heard the door being pushed open.

“They can’t write you all up.” You shrugged and dropped back in your chair while the meddling group made their way into the hall.

The girls continued to whisper to themselves and glanced back at you, to which you shooed them away. When you were finally alone in your classroom, you let out a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand over your eyes.

Usually, you adored having open communication with your students because that meant they trusted you. But at the same time, that meant they felt entitled to know your life story whether you like it or not. The bell echoed in your ears so you spun your chair to the small fridge under your desk that held your lunch.

You clicked play on a playlist from your laptop and began eating your lunch, typing away to enter in grades. You knew you should just do nothing, scroll mindlessly on your social medias instead or maybe even call Foggy to ensure Matt made it to work, but the busy work for your eyes, head, and hands felt better. Plus, you weren’t exactly sure what you would’ve said that could’ve gotten your question answered without being a dead giveaway. So you kept working instead.

“MRS. MURDOCK!” Liv nearly yelled as she burst through your door, maybe halfway through the lunch hour. “OHMYGODYOULLNEVERBELIEVE-”

“Liv!” You said in shock, nearly dropping your water bottle. “What is going on? Is everything okay?”

“Look at this!” She hurried across and showed you her phone screen. Oddly enough, it was a photo of the back of a man exiting a taxi. What stood out to you was the white cane in his hand.

“It’s a guy getting out a cab.” You tried to reason, gently pushing her phone away. “That’s what you ran in here to tell me?”

“But he’s blind!”

“So it seems.”

“Don��t you know what this means?” She insisted with a small stomp.

You simply shrugged and raised your brows.

“It’s Mr. Murdock! He came to apologize!”

“Liv, I appreciate your concern for my marriage but we’re fine, okay? It’s not like he and I are heading towards a divorce. We’re just in a bit of an argument. It’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? Because I’ve never seen you so…” She gestured vaguely to you.

“Yes, I’m sure. Now go back to your lunch, please. I have to finish these.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Mrs. M, just-”

“Liv, boundaries, please.”

“Just listen!”

“No.” You said firmly. “Go back to your lunch.”

She huffed slightly but retreated to the door. As she was heading out, she nearly ran into one of the monitors.

“Sorry to intrude, Y/N.” The monitor said as she popped her head in. “I have a visitor for you.”

“Another one of my kids being a problem?” You sighed and wheeled yourself a bit further from your desk. “Send ‘em in. They can sit in the corner till next class.”

“Actually, I think you’ll be glad to see this one.” She smiled knowingly and reached for something outside the doorframe.

Before you could voice another question, she ushered Matt through the door. He said his usual thanks for being guided and the monitor gave you an approving nod and thumbs up. She mouthed a very not subtle ‘He’s very handsome’. You smiled awkwardly in agreement but once the door closed, you rolled your eyes and went back to your gradebook.

“Could’ve called.” You said simply.

“I didn’t think you would answer.” Matt replied honestly.

“Probably wouldn’t have… Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I couldn’t focus.”

You heard the clicks of him folding his cane as he wandered around your classroom. You peaked up to watch him manueaver the desks with such ease that for a split second, you forgot he was blind. You watched him run his fingers along the bulletin board you had on one wall, leading into the standards and other required signage you had up.

“Did she leave?” You asked and returned to your prior task. You knew if you watched him for too long, he’d know and he’d show you that stupid lopsided smirk that he did.

“She was still pretty weak when I left.” He said and there was a slight sadness in his voice. Though if someone asked if it was for Elektra or your argument, you wouldn’t have been able to say. “But I did ask Stick to find somewhere else to take her to recover if she can’t leave on her own by the time someone gets home.”

“Chivalrous.” You made a face behind your computer screen. “You didn’t have to come all the way here to tell me that.”

He sighed slightly and you mumbled a short complaint to yourself before scooting away from your desk and spinning in your chair to face him, just as he appeared at your side. You folded your hands over your stomach and leaned back in your chair, giving an exaggerated sigh and nod for him to talk.

“Y/N, last night, I said something I shouldn’t have.” He began carefully, as if he was following a carefully rehearsed speech. For all you knew, he had rehearsed it with Foggy that morning before he showed up. “I let Stick push me and I just said the first thing that came to mind.”

“But she shouldn’t be the first thing, right?” You said softly with a small shrug. “Stick shouldn’t be able to push you into saying that, whether you meant it or not.”

“You’re right.” He admitted and your brows went up slightly. “I shouldn’t have said that. You are the only woman that I want to be with. I married you, without any hesitation. I never had second thoughts or second thoughts or anything. You, Y/N Murdock, have my heart.”

You nodded slowly but said nothing as you stood. You crossed your arms and looked up at him, him offering a hopeful expression in return. You broke into a small smile and nudged him with your shoulder before moving past him. He followed you almost instantly and you took him to the wall on the other side of your desk near the window.

“The kids started calling this the Sweetheart’s Spotlight.” You said quietly with a small smile. “They keep a polaroid camera in one of the cubbies and every Friday, they rearrange the couples in order of their favorites… They made me put a photo of us on here, too.”

“Where do we rank?” He smiled slightly.

“We’ve been number one since it started.” You laughed. “They tell me that you’re the best by default since I’m their favorite teacher.”

“Lucky me.”

“You know I’m still upset, right?” You said carefully when the air was too light between you two.

“I know.” He nodded. “I can hear it in your voice.”

“But I also don’t want to hold onto this fight. So here’s an idea. Elektra’s out of the apartment today. You two finish whatever crusade you’re on. You make sure you don’t get yourself killed. She leaves New York and it’s all put to bed.”

“Consider it done.” He nodded. “And I know better than to get myself killed. I’ve got it too good to die.”

“Yeah because then I’m a widow and there’s not much life insurance to cash in on.” You joked as the lunch bell rang.

“I should get going.” He nodded before gently taking your hand. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too.” You said softly as your students started filing in.

“OHMYGOD.” One of your students yelled and you closed your eyes tightly, quietly groaning in embarrassment. “IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?”

“Yes, Luna.” You said, feeling the blush across your cheeks. “This is Mr. Murdock and he’s leaving.”

You pulled Matt towards the door as he laughed. Your kids yelled questions that you tried to ignore until Matt stopped, pulling you to stop with him.

“It’s career week!” One of the boys yelled. More so a demand.

“I’m aware, Jack.” You nodded. “What does that have to do with this?”

“He’s not here to talk to us about lawyers?” The boy’s head cocked as he asked his question.

“That’s exactly why I’m here.” Matt grinned and you groaned again. “Let’s give Mrs. Murdock a break, right?”

“You’re so dead.” You threatened quietly with a laugh before heading back to your chair. 

“Okay, kids.” You announced. “He’s blind and can’t write. I’m not getting up. Take your own notes and keep your questions relevant to his career, okay?”

“Yes, Mrs. Murdock.” They all answered.

“All yours, Mr. Murdock.” You gestured before returning to grading and the personal questions started flying.

“How did you guys meet?!”

“What’s her favorite color?!”

“Did you see the wall?!” “He can’t see!”

“Are they always this rowdy?” He asked you with a slight laugh.

“You’re new and exciting.” You shrugged. “Take it as a compliment.”

[em1989ts]

𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆

five hargreeves x reader

word count: 1.7k

part one. part two. part three.

summary: after discovering your husband cheated on you with his brother's wife, you run off to a different timeline using the subway, only to find a deli crowded with a familiar face.

author's note: this is my first fic that i'm actually posting lol, if anyone sees this i'll be totally shocked

“Just leave me alone, Five.”

You were speed walking down the steps into what looked like an abandoned subway, desperately trying to avoid the man you thought you knew, who was currently right on your tail.

“Not until you talk to me, y/n,” he pleaded, swiftly trying to catch up. 

“There’s nothing to discuss, Five,” you said in a cold manner. 

You just couldn’t speak to him. Not after what just happened in the living room with him and Diego. After what was just brought to light. 

You wanted to laugh, you really did, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

Why would you hear him out? Why would he believe he had a right to explain himself? How could he? A marriage of over half a century, down the drain. And for what? 

Seven years with her.

Lila. 

His brother’s wife. The mother of his brother’s children. The child of the couple he assassinated. 

It made no sense. 

You angrily sped up and quickly got onto the train that was stopped at the station. It’s white light making you more stressed than you already were. 

The doors shut in his face. Just a couple more seconds and he would’ve been on this train. You would’ve been stuck having to hear him try and save face until the next stop. 

Sometimes the universe lets you win. 

But why not this time. 

You stared at him through the window of the subway car doors. He looked at you pleadingly. You looked at him disappointedly. 

Who was he, because he sure as hell wasn’t the Five you had known since you were thirteen years old. Stuck in the apocalypse with nothing but ashes and him.

 You had thought it was fate. You and him were meant to be stuck together, meant to be there for each other. Even after everything that’s happened. Apocalypse after apocalypse after apocalypse. 

The subway started to move. You stayed standing, staring at him with daggers in your eyes until he was out of sight. He didn’t chase after the car, he knew it was pointless. He knew he’d never get you back. He didn’t deserve you. 

Once the outside of the train was completely dark and all you could see was your own reflection in the window, you turned and took a seat. Hands in your lap, looked straight ahead, drained. 

What were you supposed to do now? Where would you go? 

Maybe this train would take you to a universe with a Five that could never dream of betraying you the way your own did. 

The lights shone over you as you were deep in thought. You had no idea where this train would take you, when it would take you. 

Suddenly, the car slowed to a gradual stop and the doors opened. You wanted to stay on, maybe pass by hundreds of stops until you actually got off the train but you heard footsteps passing by the station. 

Something in the back of your mind told you to get off at this stop, that you would find something important. 

You stood and slipped through the doors. As soon as you turned your head to scan your surroundings, that’s when you saw him. 

How could he have gotten here before you? 

Five was casually walking towards a set of stairs when he saw you and stopped in his tracks. 

You glared and felt a flame arise in you as you stomped over to him. 

“I told you to leave me alone, Five. What the hell are you doing here?” you pointed an angry, accusatory finger in his face but he just grabbed your hand and gently held it in his. 

You were confused, he seemed different. Less guilty. More sentimental. 

Your anger faltered as he stared into your eyes with an admiration you were already starting to miss. 

“y/n,” he said sincerely, “it’s been so long.” 

Of course he wasn’t your Five. You had just jumped onto a multi-dimensional subway for Christ’s sake. 

“Come on, follow me,” he said as guided you towards a stairwell. 

As you descended and turned a corner, warm glowing lights filled your sight. A warming, comforting sense of nostalgia flooded your senses. You looked up and read the lights on the sign, Max’s Delicatessen, as the Five you stumbled across led you inside. The sound of a familiar vintage tune filled your ears. 

Immediately, you felt all eyes travel to your frame. Every single pupil in this room belonged to a Five. The man you never wanted to see again. Each one of them looked at you with a shocked and astounded expression.

 The Five still holding your hand paid no attention and directed you into a booth seat. 

As you sat down, you took in your surroundings. The Fives behind the counter preparing food, the Fives taking orders, the Five delivering food, the Fives whispering at tables. 

There were so many of them, what was this place?

The Five sitting across from you looks in your eyes with a knowing look.

“It’s not often we get one of you around here.” 

You shake out of your confused thoughts and reply, “And what exactly is this place?” 

Before you can get a reply, a waiter Five comes up to the table and places two mugs of coffee in front of you and Five. Before he leaves, he places a couple cups of creamer and packets of sugar next to your mug. 

Without answering your question, the Five in front of you smiles and says, “We keep those in the kitchen and not on the tables since it’s really rare to see you.” 

You give him an annoyed look. 

“Can you explain to me what’s going on?” 

“Right,” he sat up a little straighter and took a sip of his coffee. “You hopped on a subway that took you to an alternate timeline. That timeline just so happens to hold a place where us Fives come after we’ve stopped trying to fix the problem.” He largely gestured to the room full of alternate versions of your husband. Ex husband. 

You stared at him for a few seconds, your brain rattled with questions, before you spoke. 

“Stopped trying? You mean trying to save the world?” 

“Stopped trying to fix the broken timeline,” he replied matter-of-factly. 

“The broken timeline?” you repeated in confusion. 

“There’s only supposed to be one, and I’ll bet you can guess who shattered the original timeline.” 

Before you could reply, you heard a bell as another Five yelled out, “We did.” 

Five made a disapproving yet knowing face as he called back, “Why you always gotta wreck shit, Brisket Five?” 

Brisket Five shrugged at him then winked at you before returning back to his work. 

“Okay . .” you started, trying to come up with the right questions, “So, our existence is the cause of the broken timeline. Is that why there’s constantly an apocalypse?” 

“Precisely,” Five responds, before gesturing to the framed pictures on the wall. “By the way, check out the artwork. All the different ways we made our universe go kaboom.” 

You stare at the photographs on the wall, noticing both familiar doomsday and entirely unique ones. Once your eyes reach a certain point along the wall you notice some framed images of you. Different photos of you and Five, living your lives together throughout the timelines. 

The Five across from you notices your curious glimpse. 

“I mentioned we don’t often see you around here,” he explains. “It’s because it’s rare that you survive your timeline.” 

You quickly turned back to him in response to his statement. You don’t survive? How many of the Fives in this room have lost their y/n? Has the Five in front of you lost his? 

“What do you mean?” 

“You and I will always meet, in every timeline throughout the universe. It just seems that fate doesn’t always take our side,” he says solemnly as he looks down at his mug. 

A Five piped up from the booth behind you, “My y/n was killed by the Swedes back in Dallas.” 

Another from a couple tables away said, “Mine died in the apocalypse, but we had a good thirty years together.” 

The Five in front of you looked up at you and said, “In my timeline, the Handler shot you and you died in my arms. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” 

He gave you such a genuine look. Like he’s felt shame and guilt for so long, his apology was heartbreaking. How could these Fives care so much about you, while your Five forgot all about you. 

“It’s okay,” you looked at him truthfully and took his hand in your, “I’m sure none of your y/ns would ever blame you for their fate, but they would for giving up. They’d want you to keep going, stay strong and do what it takes to save your family and the world. That’s what they loved most about you.” 

You felt bad placing blame on him but you didn’t understand how the man who has spent his whole life prioritizing the safety of his family and overcoming countless obstacles and stopping at nothing to save his family could just give up. Sure it was tiring, but that was the life the two of you lived, together. 

He smiled at you so lovingly it crumbled your heart. 

“Y/n, the doomsdays will never stop coming. The only way to end this constant cycle of saving and destroying the world is if our family ceases to exist.” 

Your heart slowed its beating as you stared at your interlocked hands, contemplating. 

You hated to admit it but he made sense. Whenever your family is all together, everything goes to shit. People always die and the world will always end. 

Before you could respond, you heard the door swing open and a tense tone fell over the deli. 

The Five across from you held your hands a bit tighter as he glanced up at the Five that had rushed in.

Your Five. 

☕︎

part two. part three.

[wileys-russo]

filling the void (8) II a.putellas

part of the filling the void series filling the void (8) II a.putellas

"aye dios mio mami por favor just sit down!" you groaned tiredly, dragging your hands down your face with a grunt of frustration at the ridiculously hard headed stubborn woman in front of you.

"i have been sitting down all day. i sit down every day, all day. i can help!" eli argued, still stood in the kitchen despite you taking away every single utensil and ingredient she'd gotten her hands on in the last five minutes.

"you have been home for three days! you were told it would be at least a week before you can even think about returning to your normal routine, and that is after the doctor clears you mami." you warned, apparently taking her recovery much more seriously than she was.

"bah! he knows nothing. i feel strong, i am strong, see?" eli scoffed, moving to lift the pot of water you had boiling as your eyes widened and you rushed in.

"no! sit down!" you ordered as you pushed yourself into her way, slotting your body between her and the very heavy pot she did not need to be lifting for the sake of her wounded pride.

"por favor mami, just go sit down." you spoke softer this time, remembering your manners as her eyebrows raised at your initial tone toward her.

"bien. i can sit down...and peel the potatoes." for a woman recovering from a heart scare she was fast, the bag of potatoes and peeler already grabbed from the counter as she started toward the dining room table.

you shook your fist and silently yelled up at the roof behind her back. and had anyone else been present you were sure they would have pointed out that this was exactly where the rest of the putellas women got your stubbornness from.

"no. you can go sit down and...read your book!" you suggested, gesturing toward the sofa and holding the potatoes and peeler out of her reach, the shortest of your sisters but still taller than your mami it wasn't a difficult task.

"i have read. and watched tv. and slept. called the family. done the newspaper puzzles. i am losing my mind hija! do you want your mami to lose her mind?" the woman questioned, hands on hips and staring up at you as a hint of a smile pulled at your lips.

"no. but i also do not want to see her laying unconscious on the floor, or in a hospital bed on a life support machine again." your voice softened as did eli's hardened features at your words, a long sigh leaving her as she nodded.

"vale mija, but you will let me know if you need help?" eli questioned as you nodded, kissing her cheek and turning around to head back to the kitchen as finally she made her own way back toward the living room.

"i know how to cook mami, no hay por qué preocuparse." you assured with a wave of your hand, quickly dumping the rice into the now boiling water and moving to the sink to wash the potatoes. "do you?" eli questioned light heartedly as you rolled your eyes.

"sí. i just pretend not to so everyone else cooks for me!" you grinned as the woman wagged a finger at you. "míralo!" she warned as you blew her a kiss and heard the front door go.

"no! sit down. they both have keys, they can work it out." you pointed toward the shorter woman who was already up and on her feet, eli huffing but sitting down none the less as the door went again, and again, and again.

"joder!" you cursed quietly, dropping the potato in your hand and stomping out of the kitchen, not quietly enough though as eli yelled after you to watch your language and you sent an apologetic smile over your shoulder before opening the door.

whatever rude remark about impatience was sitting on the tip of your tongue died at the sight in front of you, a snort of amusement leaving your mouth instead.

"qué es eso?" you asked with raised eyebrows at the large plastic white chair in your sisters grip, not getting an answer as you were pushed out of the way and alexia staggered on in, arms full.

"a shower chair for mami." the blonde finally answered with a grunt as she placed it down, purposefully out of sight of the eagle eyed woman in the other room who she knew would make a fuss over it.

"the doctor said she might need one, and that she will tell us if she does." you looked at it with an air of uncertainty as your sister sighed. "lo sé. but do you really think she would tell us if she did?" alexia asked as you both shared a look and shook your heads, pushing it a little more out of sight, an argument to be had later on.

"hola pequeña." you tensed up in surprise as you tried to move back to the kitchen but alexia grabbed you in a sudden hug, not phased that you weren't returning the greeting at first.

"i remember when you used to like my hugs hermana, sometimes you would even ask for them." your sister sighed dramatically, only holding on tighter as you tried to wiggle free before hugging her back.

"i saw you two days ago ale." you rolled your eyes again, squeezing her back for a moment and making a face as she kissed your cheek when you pulled away. "te extrañé." the girl messed up your hair next as you pushed her off with a huff.

"necesitada." you quipped, ducking her hands which tried to grab at you no doubt to pull you into a suffocating bear hug of some sort and escaping to the kitchen.

none the less things had been better in the last week.

last sunday you went to brunch with alba and watched alexia's game together right after, sandwiched between an injured jana and your older sister, neither of whom stopped chattering the entire match.

mapi was finally cleared to be on the bench at the very least, which you were grateful for purely just so she wasn't there to add to all of the yapping the entire game.

you'd warned her right away that alexia knew about the tattoo, and the defender had been waiting anxiously for the phone call or barrage of texts or verbal tongue lashing she'd be getting for giving it to you behind your sisters back, but it never came.

in fact much to the girls shock the moment alexia saw her in person she was pulled into a tight hug, her best friend mumbling her gratitude that mapi had been there for you when she hadn't, and that alexia was doing better, would do better, to never let it happen again.

"no seas estúpido. you do not need to thank me ale, fresa may be el diablillo, but she is como familia, and so are you." mapi promised, squeezing the captains bicep who pulled her into another hug which the defender was more than happy to have.

"las hermanas son complicadas amiga. just ask ingrid! she will tell you that mistakes happen but you learn from them. things are far from perfect with her and her hermana, but we are getting there. sometimes we show love in the wrong way, but the love is still always there, and fresa knows that chica." mapi spoke softly, alexia swallowing a lump in her throat and nodding.

"y me aseguraré de que nunca olvide." alexia swore, and she would, she would do anything, go to the ends of the earth to make sure never ever again would you forget how much she and alba loved you.

"ingrids hermana, she is fresa's age no?" alexia sat down on the bench to lace up her boots as mapi nodded. "teenagers." was all the zaragozan replied with a tired sigh, making the blonde smile with amusement and hum her agreement.

you were alike alexia in the sense you enjoyed watching football, though like alba you never craved the urge to play like your eldest sister did.

but that wasn’t helped by the trauma of when you were nine you’d been hit in the face with a football so hard it sent your teeth through your bottom lip and wound up with four stitches in your mouth.

needless to say alexia had a breakdown over that accident, and it took weeks before she was able to sleep guilt free or at least without poking her head into your room every few hours to check on you, and a further week to stop apologizing and grovelling every five minutes much to your insistence she shut up.

you hadn’t really touched a football since.

still some of your fondest memories growing up were being stuffed into a car with your whole family and descending upon one of alexias matches to cheer her on, faces painted and flags waving and always some of the loudest and proudest spectators in attendance.

you knew a lot about football for someone who never played, helped by the fact that all alexia forever went on and on and on about when you watched other matches on tv was strategy and skill and tactics.

you'd known from a young age that god forbid the day came where your sister hung her boots up, she'd just be donning a clipboard and a whistle as a manager, and she'd continue her football legacy just in another way.

but all alba and jana seemed to want to talk about the entire game was anything but football.

irene finally took pity on you in the last twenty minutes and offered to swap seats, just granted you didn't mind entertaining mateo's chatter instead, which you didn't mind one single bit.

then after barcelona trumped benefica 5-0, alexia getting in two assists, you went to your tio's house for dinner that night. eli joined in for a while over facetime but you'd be lying if you said that didn't make you miss the fact she wasn't actually there even more.

but squished between both of your sisters at the over packed dinner table, fighting with your cousins for whose turn it was to speak and arguing over who was passing which dish to whom next, you were overcome with a profound sense of normalcy you'd been deprived of for too long now.

after that, things continued upward.

both of your sisters struggled to find the balance of not smothering you while still constantly needing to let you know they were there if you needed them, taking to heart eli's advice that you were growing up and the tighter they held on the more it would make you pull away.

monday you went to work and finally they left you be to sleep at your own home for the night by yourself, even if they both hung around for hours basically baby proofing everything for your mami's homecoming.

the doctor happy with the stability of her condition eli returned home on tuesday as planned, practically banishing both of your sisters back to their own homes when they hovered and fussed all over her for merely an hour before she lost it.

you were trying your best not to do the same, however with how determined the woman seemed to be to ignore every instruction she was given, the last few days skating on thin ice had been rocky and you were very close to pulling your hair out in frustration at her stubbornness.

your sisters would be lying if they said they weren't a little surprised when you reached out for help, asking if they'd come over for dinner on friday to try and give eli something to do other than complain about her lack of things she was allowed to do.

both had agreed within four minutes of you sending the message, and by the time you returned from your shower they'd already made a plan and all you had to do was send a single thumbs up in confirmation.

they were trying, you were trying, and slowly, the void you once felt gaping between the three of you, was closing.

back to present day you frowned in concentration, finger tracing along the next steps of the recipe as alexia greeted your mami, the murmur of their chatter background noise as to absolutely no ones surprise alexia took over the tv flicking to the barcelona mens match which was due to start in about twenty minutes.

"oye! i thought we said no football? her stress levels alexia!" you called out with a hardened look, your sister frowning and opening her mouth to protest but eli beat her to it.

"the doctor said no going to football, tv is fine! look hija, i will even sit down as i watch like you keep telling me to. feliz?" the womans tone dripped with sarcasm as she slowly sat back down and alexia snickered.

"anciana testaruda!" you muttered under your breath with a huff, shaking your head and glaring at your older sister who admittedly paled a little at the anger in your face.

"mami, she is only doing what your doctor said." alexia warned, lowering the volume of the tv as eli puffed air from her nose and waved away the concern. "she worries too much. estoy bien!" your mami rolled her eyes as alexia frowned.

"mami." "que?" "sabes que."

"did you know she has not worked all week? or studied? no she stays home to fuss over me and yell at me all day. haciéndome sentir como una vieja estúpida!" eli huffed, crossing her arms and scowling.

alexia jumped at the sound of you slamming the peeler down on the counter. you were tired, grumpy, patience worn thin and sick of trying to pretend you couldn't hear everything that was being said like you weren't just a few feet away.

"you are a stupid old woman! a stupid stubborn old woman who had a heart attack and wants to pretend she did not!" you snapped, storming off to your room and both alexia and your mami winced at the slam of your door after you.

alba watched on cluelessly, having just arrived to witness the back end of whatever just happened, raising her eyebrows at the two women in the living room who stared after you with concern.

"what did i miss?"

you felt like you could finally breathe the moment your back hit the mattress, inhaling and exhaling deeply, grabbing your pillow and holding it over your face, letting out an exhausted scream that you'd been holding in all week.

you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth but you were still too emotional and grumpy to go and apologize for them just yet. all you were doing was trying to look after her, the same way she had looked after all three of you for years, and it was just being thrown back in your face at every turn.

you were pulled out of your thoughts by a knock at the door, grumbling a quiet come in into your pillow, though when it wasn't heard alexia still decided to take her chances, popping her head in and refraining from laughing at the sight of you.

"fresita." selfishly you were a little relieved that it wasn't your mami just yet, pulling the pillow off your face and sighing, the bed dipping as your sister perched herself on the end of it.

"lo sé. i should not speak to mami like that." you admitted, staring up at the roof as alexia's eyebrows knit together in a small frown. "no. maybe not the right words nena, but she needed to hear it." her hand squeezed your ankle softly as you glanced toward her.

"i just-she does not listen, about anything! i ask her to sit down, she stands up. i ask her to call the doctor, she calls one of her amigas from work. i ask to test her blood pressure, she suddenly needs to use the bathroom. i give her her medication at breakfast, she tries to hide it under her plate. tan testarudo!" you spat, anger returning in a wave that washed over you head to toe, drowning in the frustration of a situation you felt helpless in, barely keeping your head above water.

"lo sé. mami might be the most stubborn woman in the world hermana, but she is also the luckiest that she has you to look after, and me, and alba." alexia poked you with a smile as you sighed but nodded.

"ven aquí." your sister spoke softly, opening her arms as you paused for a moment, but a second later you were sitting up and shuffling to lean into her embrace, exhaling tiredly as your head rested on her shoulder.

no matter what had happened, no matter if you were grown up or growing up, sometimes you just needed a hug from your sister, and this moment was one where you hadn't realised yet, but that alexia needed it just as much as you did.

"you are going to be a very good nurse one day hermana, one of the best." the older girl spoke truthfully, kissing the side of your head and you were for once grateful for the height difference between the pair of you, able to hide the blush which coated your cheeks at the compliment.

"mami is not the easiest patient though, no? good practice maybe." your sister chuckled, looking down at you sympathetically as you snorted in amusement.

"still better than you were." you quipped with a look that had alexia's cheeks flushing with embarrassment, thinking back months and months ago to when she tore her acl.

"ale. are you hungry? i can cook?" you asked quietly, toe poking the soft carpet beneath your feet apprehensively, having felt the need to walk on egg shells all morning around the stone faced brunette laid a few feet away from you.

"you do not know how to cook." your sister muttered, eyes never leaving the tv screen in front of her where a movie was playing, but you knew well enough she was doing anything but actually watching it.

the moment she'd returned home after her surgery every sports channel had been blocked, a task unfortunately assigned to you given your poor mami had no idea how to do it, but it was one of the first things alexias therapist had suggested.

she had good days and bad days, as was to be expected with a recovery from such a prolific injury, and everyone knew that despite the main impact being on her body, the worst backlash would come from her mind.

and today, today was a bad day.

both your mami and alba had events on for friends they couldn't get out of and that you assured they go to anyway, olga was away on a business trip for the weekend and everyone else was running scared from the fierce barcelona captain, not that you blamed them considering the absolutely downright awful personality alexia adopted on her bad days.

so you'd offered to spend the day with her, despite her insistence she didn't need babysitting and you assuring you just wanted to hang out with her, which was only flung back at you when your sister grumbled she didn't want to hang out with you.

you knew she didn't mean it, as she didn't with half the things that spewed from her mouth these days when her head was filled with thunder clouds, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"i can cook. are you hungry?" you frowned, posing the question again as all alexia did was curtly shake her head, muttering under her breath that she didn't feel like getting food poisoning today.

biting back the urge to snap back at her you walked away toward the kitchen instead, knowing she was in fact hungry considering she ate like the athlete she was and her last meal was over three and a half hours ago.

you guessed your safest bet was a sandwich, and with your mami and olga both keeping the cupboards well stocked it didn't take long for you to find what you needed, making yourself one as well.

though most of alexias horrible mood swings were unpredictable, you knew the cause of todays being extra bitter. barcelona were playing, and she'd been banned from watching, any means she had of doing so taken away from her as much as she'd yelled and argued that she was an adult and she could do as she pleased.

but everyone knew, watching at the moment would only make things worse, even alexia herself did, not that she would be caught dead or alive admitting so.

you glanced up hearing an alarm, knowing exactly what that meant and not at all surprised when it was silenced and the grumpy brunette on the lounge didn't move a muscle, a quiet sigh leaving your lips knowing what that meant.

grabbing both plates you made your way back to the living room, careful not to trip over nala who had just awoken from a nap, darting beneath your feet before jumping up and settling herself in your sisters lap.

you didn't say a word as you offered her the sandwich, uneasy with what her reaction would even be but it was a silent one, alexia just taking the plate without a word as you joined her on the couch again.

"de nada." you mumbled sarcastically under your breath at her lack of a thank you, a venomous glare thrown your way as you apparently hadn't been as quiet as you thought, your sisters mouth at least too full of food to snap.

you had the decency to wait until she'd finished eating before addressing the alarm, interrupted at first by her doorbell going, greeting the delivery man at the door and leaving the package addressed to olga in their shared bedroom, alexia barely even looking up as you did so.

"hermana." you cleared your throat, stood awkwardly and once again digging your toe into the carpet as she ignored you. "alexia." you spoke again, this time moving in front of the tv and directly into her line of sight, not giving her much choice but to acknowledge you.

"the alarm." you hinted with a sympathetic smile, alexia only scoffing and rolling her eyes, grunting at you to move out of the way with a flick of her fingers.

"ale. you know they are important, you have to move." you sighed, ignored once again as your patience started to wean, grabbing the remote off the table and turning the tv off.

you expected her to start kicking off at that, but she only crossed her arms and scowled up at the roof like a child, nala growing restless at the lack of attention and scurrying off onto the balcony to flop down into the sun.

"alexia." you repeated firmer this time, crossing your own arms and meeting her glare head on, raising an eyebrow. "no." was all she replied shortly, closing her eyes as if to take a nap making yours roll again.

"get up. it is five minutes, and it is important. if you want to-" you started but you were interrupted before you could finish, your sister snapping that you of all people were the least qualified to tell her what to do.

"well look around alexia. i am the only one here, because you have pushed everyone else away. so get up!" the last layer of your patience for her attitude was worn too thin now, your tone wavering and your sister seething.

"i do not need a babysitter. especially not by you of all people fresa! así que vete y no vuelvas!" the brunette snarled, and you were certain if she had anything else beside her bar the cushion propping her leg up she'd have hauled it right at your head, nostrils flared and ears bright red with anger.

"no." you shook your head, and before she could blink you were snatching her crutches away from her in one hand, her phone in the other as she tried to grab it back but she simply swatted her hand uselessly through the air.

"devuélvelo." "no." "devuélvelo fresa, now!" "or what?" you challenged, taking a seat on the edge of her coffee table and raising an eyebrow, the smug smile on your face one your sister wished she could smack off any second now.

"if you want it hermana-" you stood again for a second, moving to place her phone down on the entertainment stand where her tv stood, returning to perch back on the coffee table. "-go get it." you finished in challenge.

"i can't." "you can." "no." "sí." "no."

"ya sabes i am so tired of everyone being too scared to tell you what to do ale. i do not care if you are el capitána de españa. i do not care if you are el capitána de barcelona. here you are mi hermana, and i care about you, everyone does!" you paused to take a breath before continuing.

"but you push and you snap and you push and you snap and everyone throws their hands up and lets you do what you want because you are stubborn with a mean face. what if it was me? sitting there? what would you do ale? huh?" you challenged with raised eyebrows.

"you are useless at football." was all she chimed in as you sighed. "sí, and you will be too if you do not get up and try to do recovery alexia. mi hermana did not teach me to be a quitter, because she is not a quitter, she does not sit on her culo all day feeling sorry for herself and moping like a child. so levántate!" you finally snapped, a tense silence falling between the two of you as you locked into a stare down neither of you was willing to break first.

"necesito ir al baño." "oh? well vamos, i am not stopping you." "fresa." "alexia." "fresa." "alexia."

"eres un grano en el culo!" your sister grunted but a small smile curled into your lips as finally she began to move, pulling herself with a wince into a seated position, smacking away your hands as you hurried to try and help.

eventually realizing she had no other choice she relented, allowing you to very very slowly get her up and to her feet, leaning her taller form into you as you huffed and pulled her body upward.

"i am going to let go. just go to the tv and then i will help you to the bathroom ale." you spoke much softer now as your sister nodded, steadying herself as you carefully removed the arm which was slung around her waist, still hovering right beside her as slowly she walked forward.

a few times you darted in to grab her as she would wobble and you worried she'd fall, her steps growing a little more sure the more of them she took and slowly but surely she grabbed onto the edge of the tv stand with a pained exhale.

"no. i can get there." your sister waved you off as you tried to help her again, watching in surprise as using the wall to brace herself she very slowly walked with tiny steps toward the bathroom, eventually needing to lean into you again as she ran out of wall.

"overachiever." you mumbled trying to lighten the mood a little, not missing the tiny smile which flickered onto her lips, gone as soon as it appeared as the older girl smacked the back of your head fondly.

you helped her sit down, always a painful task given the way her knee had to bend just a little for her to sit down, stood awkwardly by the door once she seemed settled.

"i am not going to fall in fresa! dios mío, váyase. idiota!"

"and i would yell at you again." you rolled your eyes as your sister chuckled, running a hand through your hair with a hum. "i am sure you would. only now i have two good knees to chase you with." she patted your own knee as you chuckled and sat back up.

"i am still faster." you grinned, alexia despising that she couldn't argue the fact, never having won an actual race against you from the moment you turned twelve and no longer needed her to let you win.

not that she ever had.

"mami." you spoke pulling her attention toward you as alexia gave you a moment, joining alba in the kitchen as the older womans face softened, opening her arms as you sank down into them.

"siento haberte gritado." you apologised quietly, an assure you had nothing to apologise for whispered into your hair as her hand rubbed your back and she apologised for being difficult, all of the earlier tension long gone.

"careful mami, you will send el bebé to sleep." you looked up through narrowed eyes at your older sister. "como un perrito." alba cooed patting your head as you smacked her hand away. "that is alexias fault!" you accused as your eldest sister looked up from her phone at the mention of her name.

"the spray bottle." alba snickered at the memory as you huffed and even eli chuckled. "and the treats." your mami chimed in as you looked up at her in betrayal.

"i was too young to know any better!" you defended yourself. "mami do you have any fruit loops? lets test her obidience!" alba teased as you grumbled something under your breath.

"i was not training her like a dog! you had the biting phase pequeña." alexia chimed in from the kitchen. "sí and mami would get called into preschool to take fres home because she bit someone." alba snickered as your face flushed red.

"vale vale. leave your hermana alone!" finally eli stood up for you, amused to see the three of you seemingly a little more back to how you'd been before growing apart.

subtly flipping alba off and getting up as she sat down, taking your place in eli's arms making you roll your eyes and her leg kick out at you lazily, eli only smiling at the interaction and running her hands through your sisters hair.

"you burned it." you groaned as alexia showed you the pan of blackened rice you'd forgotten all about, running your hands down your face with an annoyed sigh.

"can we just buy mami a rice cooker for christmas?"

~

"oye, i need to talk to you." you frowned as alexia nodded for you to step outside with her, your mami showering, without the chair she practically threw outside onto the driveway in a fit of anger, and alba asleep on the lounge apparently now staying the night as eli had tucked her in with a blanket.

"qué pasa?" you asked curiously, following your sister out to her car, her goodbyes already said as she needed to be at the stadium early tomorrow for the pre match press conference.

"you know ingrids hermana has been staying with her and mapi?" alexia started as you helped her load the rejected shower chair awkwardly back into her cupra, your mami threatening to set it on fire if she stepped out of the bathroom and it was still on the property.

"sí. por qué?" you weren't sure where this was going as finally you somehow managed to squeeze the chair in, alexia sighing in relief and closing the door, stretching out her back.

"well she is norweigan-" "well she isn't spanish."

"ow!" you whined as your sisters hand collected the back of your head with a warning glare. "no, but she needs to work on her spanish. ingrid is worried she will fail her final year since she is doing it here and not in norway, the language barrier is not helping her." alexia explained as you frowned again, still unsure where this is okay.

"vale..." "so. you did very well in school, you are smart,you got very good grades, you have finished the year she is still studying, you are patient, well sometimes patient-" "alexia i am tired, is there a point to this?"

"i want to ask you to help her study. help her work on her spanish, get more comfortable with her reading and writing. mapi says she has learned to speak it quite well, but she is failing her classes and there have been warning letters that if it does not improve she will need to repeat the year." you were stunned into silence for a moment, still processing as your sisters eyes tracked over your face awaiting a reaction.

"so you want me to teach a norwegian stranger, to read and write en español, in..." you paused to try and do the math of when you knew the current school year would be breaking off for their final exams. "eight weeks? no. no ale!" you shook your head firmly as your sister sighed.

"why do you not ask alba? she is the teacher!" "sí for los niños. solstråle is your age, only a few months older. if you had not graduated a year early she would be your classmate! and your english is much better than alba's." alexia pointed out as you groaned.

"i do not speak norweigan!" "you will not need to, she speaks english." "so we will both be speaking in a language not our own that we are not comfortable in. as i teach her a language also not her own? estás loco!" you spat with a huff and a shake of your head.

"alexia i have a full time job, and i study, i have no time." "sí and solstråle has school, you can meet her in the afternoon! one or two days a week nena, that is all i am asking. por favor if not for me, for mapi." alexia pleaded as you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

"are you asking? or telling?" "i already told mapi and ingrid you would." "alexia!" "i will buy you new shoes, a new bag, a laptop, an ipad, whatever you want." your sister bargained as you paused.

"two new pairs of shoes, and i get to take three things from your closet, and nothing is off limits." you countered, watching your sisters jaw harden as she ticked it over, knowing there was two jackets you'd been trying to steal from her for years.

"one pair of shoes, one of the nike jackets and a voucher for your the cafe you and alba like for brunch, ten coffees on me." "fifteen coffees." "fresa!" "que? i drink two a day alexia! that is a weeks worth." "bien. deal?" "deal."

you shook hands at that, grinning happily knowing exactly which jacket you were going to take making your sister groan, horribly possessive over her clothing despite the fact most of it she got for free and usually wore once.

"solstråle will be at the match on sunday, mapi will introduce you. you will sit with her and introduce yourself, organise when you will meet to study, starting next week." "dios mio, actually it just went up to twenty coffees."

~

"so diablillo, what did this cost tu hermana?" mapi grinned wolfishly, knowing all too well you'd not be doing this out of the kindness of your heart despite alexia's insistence to both her and ingrid you were very much on board.

"new shoes, shopping trip in her closet, twenty coffees." you smirked, mapi letting out a belt of laughter and drawing you into her side with a proud smile.

"and she thinks you are such an angel."

your amused grin faded the closer you got to the vaguely familiar brunette hunched over in the seat at the end of the row, head buried in her phone.

you had of course seen her for all of five seconds the time mapi had given you your tattoo, and once at the game your mami had dragged you to, not really having been in attendance to any of the others to have met her.

as mapi had gone on and on about apparently the two of you would have loads in common, and she was certain it would not take the pair of you long to become friends, though you still couldn't help feeling like a preschooler being set up on a play date with your parents friends kid.

"solstråle." you shifted with a polite smile as you arrived, mapi's arm slung over your shoulder as she poked the girl with her foot and she looked up, squinting slightly at the sun before holding her hand up to shade her face.

not that you had doubts she was ingrids sister, but upon getting a good look at her you could very clearly see her sisters features in her own.

the downward slope of her nose, the dimple in the left side of her cheek, bright green eyes, dark brunette hair pulled back and out of her face, freckles dotting her cheeks and rosy pink lips which curled into an awkward grimace you thought was supposed to be an attempt at a smile.

then, there was the height.

you were a little taken aback as the girl stood, towering over you and mapi but still a little slunched over, as if she didn't quite know what to do with her arms which hung limply by her side, her free hand shoved into the pocket of her shorts.

she had a barcelona jersey on, sporting the away kit while you had on the home one, and your smile softened as you noticed the number four and realised it was mapi's kit.

"fresa?" you hummed as tattooed fingers clicked in your face, pulling you back down to earth and your cheeks filled with colour as you realised mapi had been speaking to you and you'd zoned out entirely, starting to count the freckles dotting the scandi's sharp jawed face.

"hola." you greeted with a much warmer smile, a soft hello echoed back as a somewhat awkward silence fell and mapi whistled, rocking back and forth on her feet, catching ingrids eye who was watching on from the pitch.

"eh well, i have to go and warm up. sol your sister said she left your sunscreen in the bag, and to please wear it, we are running out of burn lotion." mapi spoke and you hid a smile at the way the norweigan's face went bright red and she hissed something in a tongue you didn't understand making mapi grin.

"perfecta." and just like that she was off and the taller girl was sitting back down as you glared at the spainards retreating figure before slowly lowering yourself into your own seat, placing your bag underneath you.

an uncomfortably thick silence hung over the pair of you as you chanced a glance to her every now and then, her own green eyes locked on the pitch watching the girls warm up as you sighed and shifted.

"how do you like spain?" you tried to start a conversation, repeating the question a little louder after a moment when she didn't reply, spectators flooding in now and the chatter around you both growing louder and louder in volume.

"fine." the girl answered quietly as you nodded, slumping down into your seat and fiddling with the hem of your jersey. "do you...play?" you asked, the brunette sending you a quick but confused look as you pointed to the field.

"oh, no." she shook her head once she realised what you were asking, again making no real effort to continue on the conversation and you made a mental note to punch the tattooed defender responsible for this incredibly awkward meeting the moment you got within swinging range.

"do you?" you almost didn't hear her, too focused creating a ten step plan on how to escape this. a stomach ache? family emergency? earthquake in the backyard?

"hm?" you hummed as she repeated herself. "play." she clarified nodding to the field. "oh, no. i have a...ball fear?" you tried to explain in english as sol gave you an odd look.

"alexia, my sister-" you pointed to the blonde girl stupidly, as if sol wouldn't know who she was "-she eh kicked me in the face with a ball when i was little. put my teeth through my lip." you tugged down your bottom lip where the four scars sat from the stitches.

"oh, sorry." sol winced and looked away as you cringed and cursed at yourself, why would you show her the inside of your mouth?? however so preoccupied telling yourself off you missed the ever so slight smile which pulled at sols lips as she snuck a look at you, clearly having a conversation with yourself and mumbling quietly in spanish.

"so um, studying. you need help?" you asked a little more bluntly than you realised, not missing the way the scandi beside you stiffened, only giving a curt nod and refusing to meet your eye.

"mondays and wednesdays. can you do those?" you posed, another curt nod all you got in response. "four in the afternoon, there is a library, lots of meeting rooms you can book. i will...text mapi?" you offered, sol nodding again and crossing her arms across her chest, incredibly toned arms you couldn't help but notice.

sols body shifting ever so slightly away from your own, you knew without her saying a word that was her silently ending the conversation, not that she'd bothered to contribute more than a few words anyway.

"increíble." you muttered, a plan now made that was all you'd agreed on with alexia, and with the girl beside you clearly not interested in speaking much more you didn't feel like forcing it.

this was going to be a lot more work than you first thought.

~

if there is spelling and grammar errors in this pls forgive me its midnight and this has been many months overdue and i wanted to get it done!! hoping its met expectations and we're ready for sol x fresa sooon @girlgenius1111

[seresinhangmanjake]

He Will Hope

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x reader

Summary: Feyd is obsessed with his bride from the moment he sees her, but on their wedding night he finds out she might not feel the same. (Angst, but hopeful ending)

Warnings/Notes: Feyd POV, pre-smut and smutty-ish intentions (if that makes sense? idk, ignore me), instantly-in-love Feyd, unwanted marriage, baby(heir) talk, typos. Can absolutely be read alone, but also serves as something of a prequel to Do You Love? (same world, but big time skip), so I tried to kind of echo that with specific lines.

Words: 1500

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist

You’re so…beautiful. He didn’t expect a peace offering to be this perfect. Yes, he knew his bride would be a daughter of a Great House, but you are one of many sisters and Feyd did not imagine your father would send him the loveliest of his bunch. 

It’s a loveliness that has you sticking out like a sore thumb on Giedi Prime. Hair and makeup and wedding dress styled in the traditions of your home world glue all eyes to you as you walk down the aisle, and he likes that there is so much attention on you. It makes his inability to cease staring more acceptable. 

Harkonnens are not meant to be enthralled by their brides at first glance. Discouraged, even, from caring about their appearance at all. ‘Brides are meant for breeding,’ his uncle told him as a child, ‘It does not matter what they look like.’ But he was not told what to do or how to act in the event the bride makes his heart involuntarily skip a beat. 

Maybe if your heart was reacting in the same manner navigating this new feeling would be less intimidating, but the tears streaming down your cheeks suggest that's far from the case. You can barely look at him and he’s not sure you would be able to speak if it was required of you, but thankfully, verbal agreements are not part of marriage ceremonies on Giedi Prime. 

When he takes hold of your hand and slices your palm with his knife, you give no indication of pain. You are supposed to do the same to him but you seem nervous enough as it is, so he makes the three-inch long slash in his skin for you before pressing his palm against yours. The mixing of blood is a swearing of fidelity from husband to wife and wife to husband; a tradition and promise that wore down with time as concubines became more common. But he will not do that to you. You will be his one, his only, and if he can help it, he will be yours. 

He barely detects the words declaring you married. They're dull and bubbly in his ears as if he's sunk under the surface of his bath water because he's too focused on your mouth. Your plush lips are pink and plump and glistening, and he wants them. So he takes them before he's told to do so.

You taste different than the Harkonnen women he’s had. There is salt from tears, but something distinctly you seeps through. It's sweeter. A bit intoxicating. The kind of taste that collars and leashes the unruliest of men, and he wants more. Much more. But there are too many eyes, some of which are full of relief at the match finally solidified while others are prying and suspicious. If he keeps his lips on yours too long, questions will begin to form from certain witnesses—Does he like her? Does he want her? Can she be used? Can she control him?—and the answer will be plainly obvious.

When he breaks the kiss, your eyelashes flutter with the gentle opening of your eyes and he knows then that nothing—no convincing from advisors, no threats from his uncle, no hatred on your end—could ever have him willing to detach himself and use you for the sake of an heir only to discard you later. You are his wife now, you will be the Baroness upon his uncle’s death, and he will protect you from anyone who values you for the sole purpose of providing a child. 

—

He sees that your assigned servants have quickly learned to manage your hair and clothing. By the time they deliver you to him, the pins have been removed from the twist on your head, letting the strands hang loose to frame your face, and you’ve been unstitched from that heavy gown to be dressed in night clothes from your home. He provided you with a nightgown, so he wonders if wearing the thin dress was your choice or your parents' idea to make you undeniably enticing, but either way, it’s effective. 

What drapes over your body is nothing like the opaque blacks and straight lines of Harkonnen attire. It's intricate both in color and design; flowing fabric that shimmers when you make the slightest movements and, at the moment, does little to hide your shape and curves. 

As you stand in front of him, patiently awaiting instructions, he can only stare at what’s on display. Pebbled nipples, a plane of smooth skin down to your navel, your slit and the folds between your legs—he wants it all. All of you. Now. Here. Wherever he can have you. 

Rising from the chair where he’d been waiting, he dissolves the space between you. His arm snakes around your waist. His hand slides across your cheek to the back of your head. Lips slam into yours, chests meeting despite that sliver of fabric, and he tastes that taste again, instinctually feeling a need to lift his chin, bare his neck, and let you tighten that collar.

It takes you a few seconds but when your lips start to move, he kisses you harder, pulls you closer, weaves his fingers through your hair and lightly tugs. He guides you backward toward the bed, skin warming at the image of sliding the nightgown down your body. That warmth fans into pure fire and he can’t stop kissing you, can’t stop taking from you, collecting what little you’re willing to give him. Two of his fingers tuck themselves under one strap of the nightgown and begin to slip it down your shoulder. 

But then he stops. 

He stops because your lips freeze.

He stops because you're starting to shake under his fingertips.

He pulls back to look at you and it’s undeniable, so terribly undeniable, and he feels a bit ill. “You don’t want this,” he states. 

You don’t answer; you just stare up at him with those doe eyes that he can now see are full of fear, and his heart squeezes. His gut tightens. He suddenly has the urge to throw things, break things, watch things shatter to pieces because you don’t want him. His own wife doesn’t want his touch and he does not like this—not at all—but you’re scared, and he doesn’t like that even more. 

Sighing, he resets the strap on your shoulder, drops his hands from your body, and steps away. 

“I'll leave you alone,” he says. But as he passes by you, you grab onto his wrist. 

“We have to,” you rush out. “They'll know if we don't.”

He shakes his head. “They won't know anything that happens between us unless I allow it,” he tells you.

“B–But they expect an heir.”

“Yes. And eventually, we will have to produce one. That does not mean we have to share a bed tonight if that is not what you want, and it's clear that is not what you want,” he says a little too harshly. He isn’t trying to be snippy, none of this is your fault, but it hurts, and not in the way he enjoys.

You suck in a sharp breath as if preparing to argue, but then something shifts in your eyes. Instead, you say, “Where will you go?”

“The adjoining room,” he answers, nudging his head to the door on the opposite wall: the room for the concubines that he will never take. You turn to get a look.

“Oh,” you swallow. “O-Ok.” 

He grants himself a few more moments to study you, to soak in your soft and delicate features and the swollen lips he cannot have before he walks away, leaving you behind for the bed he had no intention of ever sleeping in. 

When he reaches the door, he glances over his shoulder to get one last look. You’re facing away from him, sitting on the mattress with your head low, your back arched forward and arms wrapped around your middle. You look small like that, slowly huddling into a ball, and he’d do anything to make it stop. Because you are his. His wife. His na-Baroness. He’s well aware he’ll fall for you in no time—it’s already begun—and he wants you to be happy with him. 

But you're not. And that already threatens the predictability of your future together. These foreign feelings he has for you are not guaranteed to be requited; something he isn't sure how to accept, and yet he may not have a choice. He cannot force your affection. He cannot demand you grow to love him. All he can do is try and hope that one day, he will win you over.

So that is what he does.

---

@avidreader73 @alwaysadreamingoptimist @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom @workof-a-rr-t

[sttoru]

A WELCOMED INTERRUPTION !

ෆ sypnosis. shiu kong catches toji and you in the living room. toji decides to invite shiu into the fun and he agrees after some deep thinking.

ෆ note. this is a part two to this post ! make sure to read that one first. &&i’m happy u all enjoyed the first part ehhh.. i tried my best w this one too, enjoy. also not entirely proof read so excuse the possible mistakes. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk !

ෆ tags. dom!toji (+shiu) x female reader. three some, blowjob, breast play, objectification, degradation, name calling (whore, slut), cum play, free use, dacryphilia, creampies, male masturbation, voyeurism-ish, multiple orgasms, spanking, hair pulling, overstimulation, doggy style, breeding mention. toji’s mean, shiu a bit less.

“fine, but we have ten minutes.”

shiu kong crosses the room in a couple strides, hands skilfully removing piece after piece of his clothing until he was left in nothing. you couldn’t quite figure out the unreadable expression on shiu’s face once he came close enough to toji and you on the leather couch.

it was impossible to do so through your tears. plus, due to the man on top of your body guiding your head back to look him in the eyes.

“just because he’s joining doesn’t mean y’re allowed to take those eyes off of me.” if toji wasn’t just a fling, you could’ve sworn that those words were said out of jealousy or possessiveness. even if he was the one who suggested the threesome in the first place.

toji hisses and grunts as he pulls all the way out of you before slamming back in twice as hard. your screams of pleasure were like music to his ear. and not only to toji’s ears; shiu was having a hard time holding his usual calm self together every time he hears your sensual moans.

“shit..” shiu curses under his breath, his demeanour slowly falling apart because of the sight in front of him. but, also because he secretly desires to be the one getting those reactions out of your mouth, “she’s quite noisy, eh?”

toji laughs a bit; a mean (almost condescending) laugh, “yeah— maybe we can see which one of us can make her even noiser, whadd’ya think?”

“..or ya can just make her shut up by stuffing that mouth full. your choice.”

your hands were trembling as they try to hold onto any solid object you could spot out of your peripheral vision. your tears withheld you from seeing toji’s agent masturbating; shiu’s rough hand was swiftly gliding up and down on his cock—coating it with his own pre-cum. if it wasn’t for his desire to dump his cum in any of your holes, he’d have released it all over his own hand already.

“i think i’ll put that mouth of hers to use.” shiu had lost the internal battle of keeping himself together as he walked closer to you, standing near your head and gently tapping the tip of his cock on your plump lips, “you know, toji’s told me you’re good at sucking men off and i’ve always wanted to test that claim myself.”

your eyes slightly widen in response, unable to comprehend anything in this situation you got yourself in. neither toji nor shiu cared about that; they just cared about the pleasure you were going to be giving them.

“c’mon,” toji grins and pulls out of you completely, looking down at his throbbing cock which was covered in your fluids before flipping you around on your stomach, “y’re gonna be a good little slut and suck that man off, yeah?”

shiu takes notice of toji’s action and immediately gets into position like the two have done this many times before with other women. the agent takes a seat in front of you, legs spread to give you a nice view of what he was packing between them. shiu’s back was resting against the armrest as his eyes were scanning your face from up close, “what a pretty girl.”

your mouth was watering more than it did previously, drops of saliva running down your chin as you stared at shiu’s cock in front of you. a harsh slap to your ass makes you squeal lightly and your pussy clench onto nothingness.

“i said something, didn’t i?” toji clicks his tongue while he checks out your ass in his position behind you, “get to work.”

your hands found their way to shiu’s thighs and they slid up until they were wrapped around the base of his cock. an almost unnoticeable grunt left shiu’s lips once he felt that jolt of pleasure run through his body from your simple touch. he had waited so long for this.

“fuck— take me in your mouth.” the older man breathlessly orders. you swallow the built-up saliva in the back of your throat and stick your tongue out to lick the tip of shiu’s dick— testing the waters first. as expected, shiu was easy to please since the man was already moaning and breathing heavy when you hadn’t even started yet.

toji looks down at the two and sees how you tease shiu by using your tongue. shiu was trembling a little, biting his bottom lip while one of his hands was tangled in your hair. the agent was trying very hard not to reach his climax already. not when he hasn’t felt your mouth around his cock at least once.

a smirk forms on toji’s lips as he sees the desperation and lust written all over shiu’s face. toji knew that you were good at giving blow jobs; the little teasing you did beforehand—where you’d hold eye contact with him while licking his length in small intervals—added to the entire experience.

“seems like you haven’t had any action in a while, huh?” toji grins while pumping his cock at the sight of you finally starting to suck shiu off. his hand moved in slow strokes, the other placed on your ass, prepared to slap it if you were caught slacking off.

“shut up, toji— shit!” shiu gasps and throws his head back once your mouth engulfs the fat tip of his dick. the warmth and wetness around his throbbing cock was driving him mad, “if i wasn’t too busy cleaning after your mess, i’d have a woman in my bedroom every day of the week.”

you held eye contact with shiu as he makes small talk with toji whom you couldn’t even see. you start bobbing your head in repeated up and down motions, his cock going in and out of your warm mouth, leaving it completely covered with your saliva in no time.

“fuckkk— she’s good.” shiu groans while his hand tugged at your hair, pressing down on your head to hit the back of your throat—the tip of your nose just a centimetre away from his lower abdomen, “way better than expected.”

that gains a small proud chuckle from toji. the assassin was starting to move, lining up his still hard cock against your entrance, “told ya. she sucks cock like a real fuckin’ slut—always knows what to do.”

shiu fully believes those uttered words as he sees you desperately suck him off, hands playing with his balls and sometimes stroking the rest of his length which you couldn’t fit in your mouth. your tears and drool were dripping down between his legs.

a muffled moan vibrates against shiu’s dick the moment you felt toji bully his way into your cunt again. this causes shiu to thrust his hips forward, making you almost choke at the unexpected movement.

“mhh, that’s hot.” shiu breaths out while holding onto your hair with both hands now, ready to repeat his actions since it added to his own pleasure, “do it again, come on—yeahhh— good girl.”

as you choke and slobber all over shiu’s length, toji starts to roughly pump back and forth, hands on your hips to keep your lower body up to meet his— “your cunt is so fuckin’ tight compared to before—fuck— bet it’s ‘cause you’re a slut who enjoys getting both her holes filled at the same time.”

toji smacks your ass a couple of times as his cock penetrates your cunt to its deepest point, “maybe we can fill a third one soon, don’cha think?”

yes, he was implying what you were thinking; anal sex. the nasty thought made you whimper and squirm under toji while continuing to move shiu’s cock in and out of your wet mouth in rapid strokes. shiu reacts to this by bucking his hips up again and again, moaning and grunting loudly, as was toji.

shiu looked down at you through his half closed eyes, enjoying the way you look with your mouth stuffed full of his cock. especially because you were crying as well; it made you look pathetic and helpless yet so attractive.

“fuck— with the way you’re sucking me off, i’m going to cum soon,” shiu says between shallow breaths, seeing your body powerlessly shift back and forth due to toji’s intense thrusts, “mhm— better swallow it all, okay?”

you let out a long, strangled moan. it wasn’t clear whether it was due to toji pounding you or shiu asking you that lewd favour. either way, shiu bucked his hips up one last time, hands clenching around your hair to push your head down all the way to the base of his cock before spurting his hot cum right down your throat—the taste bitter on your tongue.

“swallow,” the older man in front of you reminds you with a hoarse voice, keeping his dick between your lips to make sure you do as told before gradually taking it out with a hiss.

shiu taps the tip on your mouth a little to get the last drops of semen on your lips for you to lick off. toji’s agent started to lazily stroke his dick again, trying to make it hard so he could fuck you as well.

“mhh, want to cum in your pussy. maybe even breed you, huh?” shiu murmurs. his words were solely meant to fuel his desires and get his cock hard again, yet the thought could easily be made a reality.

toji groans as he hears his agent’s dirty talk about breeding you. this causes him to reach out and grab a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back while he angled his hips in a way to hit your cervix repeatedly.

“fuck, i might even let him do that to ya—let him dump his load into your pussy along with mine.” toji grins, feeling like his cock was swelling even more with each deep thrust, “how ‘bout we try that out?”

shiu takes the chance to watch your tits again as they come into view. his body was relaxing against the armrest of the trembling couch, one hand reaching out to cup a breast and squeeze the hardened nipple.

“ah! yes, y-yes, wan’ both of your cum inside me, please.” you plead and your back arches from all the sensations the two men were granting you in this moment. toji groans loudly at your words, feeling even more turned on than ever and he makes that known.

“yeah? fuck— y’re such a desperate, greedy whore.” toji mocks and continues to pound into your overstimulated cunt. shiu was still squeezing your breasts and flicking your nipples, going from one to the other,

“just hold on, little girl— gonna stuff you full first.” toji adds and thrusts a couple more times before you sense that familiar feeling again; toji’s cum flooding your insides until it can’t help but leak onto your thighs.

with a deep sigh, toji pulls out again to watch the white liquid overflow from your filled hole. shiu, in the meantime, was still admiring your tits and now used both hands to play with them.

you were too fucked out to see the way the two men were silently exchanging glances. toji nodded downwards at his place behind you and shiu understood: the two were changing places.

shiu let your breasts go and stood up, toji following afterwards. the assassin and his agent slowly swapped positions and stroked their cocks at the sight of your spent body, quivering and silently sobbing from overstimulation.

“mind if i borrow her from now on, toji? just from time to time.” shiu asks with a deep hum, enjoying the sight of toji’s cum leaking out of your hole and the way it stained your skin as the sticky fluid left trails down your thighs.

toji snickers as he was getting his cock hard again by looking at your tits and head between his legs,

“nah, i don’t mind. as long as she returns to me at the end of the day.”

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (prt 8)

Masterpost

The next day was less chaotic but not by much. They had to go through everything they’d taken from the Fenton’s lab, and reluctantly accepted Danny and Jazz’s help with the task because they were familiar with the tech. That was surprisingly needed since all of their gadgets were extremely obtuse and looked like household appliances. It was honestly surprising how good Danny was with all of this stuff, he knew what everything was, how to take it apart and how to put it back together to show the heroes how it worked. 

“They don’t all work for humans. Some have to be fueled with ectoplasm so they need to be constantly refueled. Dad used to wear a backpack full of the stuff ghost busters style but that’s really not practical so this one isn’t very useful to you. I can use it though,” Danny said as he screwed the last part back on the.. Whatever it was. 

“Okay, but why does it look like a blender?” Tim asked, baffled and impressed.

“Oh that’s because that’s what it was built out of,” Danny said with a crooked smile. “We repurposed a lot of household items into tech. Give me a couple toasters and a microwave and I’ll have three specter deflectors ready for you before dinner time.” He said as he pressed his hand against one of the gins and it started glowing intently green.

“Here don’t drop it,” He said tossing it to Batman, who did manage to catch it. “I fueled it with three shots, just in case Vlad shows up or another ghosts threatens you. And actually even with your charms I would feel a lot better if you all had specter deflectors since you’re all involved with me now,” He sighed and rubbed his face. 

“Well… we can get you toasters and a microwave but we can also get you more advanced parts if those will work better,” Bruce told Danny, gingerly holding the odd gun away from himself. It wasn’t a traditional gun so it wasn’t upsetting but he still didn’t like it. 

Danny looked very tempted but he shook his head. “No I’d better do it with what I know, I can get it done faster that way and they work. I’d love to play with some of those more advanced parts though. I’m sure I can come with some fun stuff.” 

Uh oh, Bruce didn’t like that look on Tim’s face, the last thing he needed was more encouragement! But Danny was the child of mad scientists, he would get along perfectly with Tim, Bruce was going to have to keep a close eye on them to make sure they didn’t accidentally make a death ray. 

“You can join me in my lab later,” Tim offered hopefully and Danny glanced up at him with a borderline feral grin. 

“That sounds great, I’m sure you have much better lab safety than my parents. Love engineering, would hate to die a second time.” He said it like a joke, just the way Jason tended to. Jazz laughed, but only to encourage her brother’s coping method, no one else did. 

“Alright, we’ll go to the nearest home appliance store and get you some toasters and microwaves,” Bruce said. 

“Hell ya, I should have been adopted by a rich family years ago,” Danny cackled. Oh dear, he’d been so traumatized yesterday Bruce hadn’t realized he was Feral. Why did this keep happening.

He informed Alfred of Danny’s request and by the time they finished going over the more confusing inventions and left for lunch the appliances were waiting for Danny in the lab that he and Tim would apparently now be sharing. Danny immediately dove on the machinery starting to take them apart with practiced hands. He seemed calm and in his element but Tim stayed to supervise, both just in case something went wrong, and because it was His lab and they hadn’t talked about rules of cohabitation yet.

Bruce left them to it. Alfred had informed him that Jason had arrived and headed straight to the kitchen without saying hello to anyone else. It wasn’t a surprise, he was closest to Alfred, he’s want to help with making dinner, and get the basic scoop from his most trusted family member before having to face anyone else. Bruce knew better than to intrude on that, but God did he want to. 

Regardless of what his children thought Bruce cared deeply for all of them, and he hated that sometimes they doubted it. He wished he was better at telling and showing them, but he’d managed to convince himself it was too late for him to change so he didn’t have to face the years of mistakes and trauma he had endured and inflicted. No matter what what image he tried to project, he was still only human.

He went to his office, but he couldn’t settle to anything, he did a little bit of this, and little bit of that, and just ended up pacing the carpeted floor. He left them alone as long as he could before he gave in and went down to the kitchen.

“Sorry to interrupt, I just needed a cup of coffee,” He said as casually as he could. The looks Alfred and Jason gave him said neither of them actually believed his excuse, which was fair. “It’s good to see you Jaylad, thanks for coming.”

“Well I’m not going to miss out on a new brother am I? You gonna have this one running around in spandex too B?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, it made Bruce wince but it Was progress because he was acknowledging their familial ties. 

“I’m almost two years too late to stop him,” Bruce said regretfully. “It’s been… a lot has happened. I’m sure Alfred caught you up on most of it, but I’d like to talk to you before you meet either of the siblings.”

“Trying to make sure I won’t be a bad influence?” Jason asked and Bruce couldn’t tell if he was joking or accusing. 

“No, nothing like that,” Bruce said, holding up his hands. “I just want to talk.”

Jason hummed skeptically, scrutinizing Bruce before turning back towards Alfred. “What do you think Alfie, can you spare me?”

“I always appreciate your help master Jason, but I can manage on my own,” Alfred assured, sounding amused. 

“Alright, to your office then?” Jason asked, turning back towards Bruce. 

“Or the sitting room, whichever would be more comfortable.”

“Office,” Jason said firmly, this was the distance that he was keeping between them. They worked together now, and Jason cared for his siblings, but he kept them all at arms length. For everyone’s safety really, if they set him off he didn’t want to hurt them, and he didn’t want to be set off either. It always felt like shit. Jason followed Bruce to the office and sprawled in the soft chair across the desk from Bruce’s. He remembered being a kid, sitting properly and nervously in this chair across from Bruce hoping desperately for his approval. How times change.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the new kids” Bruce started and Jason waved him away.

“I’m really not going to corrupt them or anything, I Probably won’t be around enough to make a difference anyway.” Jason said dismissively.

Bruce took a deep breath, controlling his expression and folding his hands on the table. “That’s not it Jaylad, Alfred must have told you that the boy died and came back?” 

Jason tensed and green swirled in his vision, it was the same thing that Bruce had seen in Danny when Zatana asked about Phantom. “Ya he did.” Defensive and insecure.

“It seems like he, and his sister who was sort of a caretaker to him, know a lot more than we do about the effect that that has on a person. To help us take care of Danny she gave us a presentation about it, it… makes a lot of sense. You should probably talk to her and Danny about it really but I just wanted to apologize. 

“I’ve been trying to fix this, fix… you for a long time and I know I’ve been going about it wrong and I’ve been hurting you.”

“You got a new treatment plan in mind, old man?” Jason asked, his arms crossed and Bruce wished that mistrust wasn’t earned. 

“No,” Bruce sighed looking down. “Really Jason I don’t, I know I was wrong. This is something I just didn’t know I didn’t know about,” He hated his own ignorance, he hated to admit it! He was Batman! The way he kept up with other superheroes was always being prepared for everything and knowing more than everyone around him, but he hadn’t even known there was something there to know!

“This isn’t about that, and it’s not about you staying away from the new kids. Exactly the opposite actually, since they know more about this, and Danny might be one of the few people who really understands what it’s like to die and come back like that, I was hoping you’d spend more time here, around them. I think it might help you both.”

“Huh,” Jason sounded, blinking rapidly because that was the most sincere apology he’d gotten from Bruce and he didn’t quite know how to react to it. “Maybe… maybe.” He hadn’t met the new siblings yet after all, maybe they’d hate each other. 

“Can I meet them now?” He asked looking back up at Bruce curiously. 

“Of course, the girl's name is Jasmine Fenton, called Jazz, the boy goes by Danny. Jazz is turning 18 soon, Danny is 16.” 

Right Tim had mentioned that, so Danny was about 3 years younger than him then. That shouldn’t matter too much, and maybe Tim will be right about the sister and can tease Jason about it. He’d been single for a while and wouldn’t mind changing that.

“Of course, I think you should meet Jazz first, she’s protective of Danny and she hasn’t been very involved in all of this. I think she’d feel better being allowed to… vet you first for lack of a better word. Are you okay with that?” Bruce asked Jason politely. 

“Sure, I don’t really care what order I meet them in and… Look Bruce I know I’m mad at you, and I was really hard on Timmy when everything was still raw. But I’m never going to knowingly hurt a kid, or make life harder for them. If I can help them I will,” Jason said sincerely. 

“Jason, the girl is less than a year younger than you. You’re a kid too,” Bruce said sadly. Jason froze for a moment, Yes he was 19, his mind wasn’t fully developed yet or whatever the hell, but he hadn’t felt like a kid since his death. Even before that, the responsibility for his mother, and then the work as a hero. Bruce wanted soldiers, Jason had never gotten a chance to be a kid really.

“Whatever,” Jason scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets and standing up, closing himself off from that sincerity. “Do you know where she is?”

“She’s in the library,” Bruce said, his lips twitching up in a smile. “She loves books almost as much as you did, though she seems to be more drawn to non-fiction.” 

Jason hummed and nodded, heading towards the door since he knew his own damn way to the library, Bruce didn’t have to lead! He did follow through, he was clearly protective of these kids so of course he would want to be there when Jason met them.

When he entered the library he saw a young woman sitting at one of the tables with some sort of text book. Her back was straight and her legs tucked under the chair with her ankles crossed. It looked like she was self consciously trying to look put together. She looked up at them, blue green eyes looking him over critically, he could practically see her picking him apart in her mind and he tried not to fidget.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Jason Todd,” He said, walking over and offering her his hand to shake. She was very pretty, but he was surprised by his own complete lack of attraction, she just didn’t register that way, she seemed more… maternal almost.

“Ah, the dead son,” She chuckled, getting up from the table and reaching out to shake his hand, her grip was strong and her hands were soft and cool. “It’s nice to meet you, they mentioned you. Nothing bad,” She added when she saw her face. “And I don’t mean to be rude, I know some people are sensitive about their deaths being mentioned. Danny jokes about it all the time so… I just wanted to let you know that I know, and I accept you.” Jazz said with a warm smile. 

Her easy acceptance caught him off guard and before he could help it he was baring his teeth at her in a snarl, defensive and probing, did she mean it? She grinned sharper bearing sharp fangs at him in a matching sign of… friendly aggression, something inside him settled. He chuckled and took a step back. “Well thanks, nice to meet someone who doesn’t look like they bit a lemon every time I make a death joke.”

“It’s your death, as long as it’s healthy you can own that however comes naturally to you,” Jazz promised, sitting back down at the desk. “I’d love to talk more and get to know you, but we can do that later. You really should meet Danny.”

“You don’t want to come with us,” Bruce broke in, sounding worried. Jason had almost forgotten he was there, he hadn’t realized how… all encompassing the short interaction had been.

“I’ll probably follow,” Jazz said with a shrug, her gaze turning stern as she looked at Bruce. “Remember what I said about never breaking up a fight,” She told him firmly. 

Well if that didn’t make Jason nervous he didn’t know what did. Why would he fight with Danny? Would Danny fight with him? Why? “You really think it’s a good idea for us to meet? Why would we fight?” Jason asked her sharply.

“Of course,” she agreed, her eyes softening as she looked back at him, though her expression remained a little mischievous. “It’ll be good for both of you.”

Next

[minjix]

just saying → Vinnie Hacker x female!reader

summary: in which Vinnie doesn’t like your boyfriend

a/n: hello, it’s been a while lol, 2023 was literally the worst year of my life but 2024 will be my year.

warnings: swearing, fighting and blood

word count: 2.4k

masterlist

Vinnie never liked him, from the moment you told him about the new guy you met, to the moment he met him face to face. He never hid it either. A grimace of disgust tainting his face when your boyfriend was around. It got to the point where everyone took notice of it and sided with Vinnie; your boyfriend sucked.

He was never on time, even on date nights and always left the bill for you to pay. When Vinnie found out, he was sure he hated the guy's guts. Every complaint to you about your boyfriend ended with a not so nonchalant shrug and “just saying,”.

It got to you, it really did, especially when the tattooed blonde distanced himself, much to your boyfriend’s enjoyment. He knew he wasn’t well liked, and it gave him an air of confidence, Vinnie would go as far as to call him borderline fucking sadistic.

He remembers the day vividly when your boyfriend waltzed into the room with you in tow and that stupid smirk on his face. Vinnie immediately disliked him, purely because of that fucking smirk that spoke a thousand words, ‘I’m better than you’, blah blah blah, Vinnie knew his façade was a pile of stinking bullshit.

“Who are you?” Vinnie snorted as he leaned back on the couch, legs spread. Although the question was directed towards your boyfriend, his eyes were glued to yours, his gaze heated.

“Uhm, guys, this is my-“ he interrupted you. Vinnie didn’t like that at all. He forced himself to take a deep breath, fidgeting in his seat to get comfortable. It didn’t work. “I’m her boyfriend,” he gloated with a nasty grin, and Vinnie was caught off guard by your soft smile directed towards your shitty boyfriend. It was a punch to the gut, seeing you with heart eyes not looking at him.

“Boyfriend?” Noah gaped at you, his eyes sneaking looks at Vinnie to gauge his reaction. He looked upset, and Noah knew why, but Vinnie himself wouldn’t admit it. He was stubborn that way, enough to break his own stubborn heart.

You smiled sheepishly, shy from the feeling of vulnerability that took over you as every pair of eyes in the room stared you and your boyfriend down. You hadn’t anticipated their negative reactions, it made you confused and disappointed, and a small tinge of embarrassment grew in your gut. Shame set your body alight, why would you be embarrassed to introduce your boyfriend?

“How long have you guys been dating?” Vinnie asked, a fake smile on his lips, it made you cringe. You knew Vinnie, both in and out, and you knew when he was genuine. He wasn’t now.

You turned to your boyfriend, tongue tied, “uhm, well we went official three days ago-“ he interrupted again. You really wanted to disappear.

“Babe,” he chuckled in a tone that Vinnie knew was condescending. “They asked when we began to date, not when we became official.” duh, you thought to yourself and quickly nodded with a small and strained smile.

You felt embarrassed, if he had let you finish your sentence then he would come to find out that you would’ve answered Vinnie’s question.

“Uhm-“ you stammered, he interrupted once again, sighing, “two months babe, two months.” Your stomach was hurting now and your face was burning as did your palms, so much so that your boyfriend let it go to wipe his palm on his jeans. ‘Oh god’ you felt mortified, hoping no one noticed the gesture despite standing on display in front of your friends.

Vinnie spoke, his eyes dark, “Maybe, you should, oh- I don’t know; let her finish speaking?” Vinnie glared at him, his posture less relaxed but he was still in the same position as earlier, though his hands twitched.

“Excuse me?” He took a threatening step forward, but you intercepted him quickly with a forced laugh, “okay,” you dragged out, “how about we stop this, and leave.” So you did.

Vinnie texted you an hour later, an apology, ending with him admitting to not wanting to lose you over a petty dick measuring fight. You reassured him that you weren't the type of person to throw away friendships for one guy.

He read the text with stinging eyes and a chewed up lip. He genuinely thought his chest was about to cave in, he saw his future, a future of which he painted with you by his side, hands intertwined with loving whispers in your shared bed, hidden from the world under the covers. It all fell apart. But he knew better than to admit his feelings to you. You were everything good in this world and he knew he wasn’t enough.

—————

Vinnie wasn’t a stranger to sarcasm, neither were you. Your new boyfriend on the other hand seemed to be.

It was supposed be a relaxed get together, celebrating summer with barbecue and drinks,

It was painful to listen to Vinnie disrespect your boyfriend whilst the boy in question unknowingly agreed to it all.

“You’re one of the nice guys, huh?” Vinnie smirked, his eyes mischievous as he stared at your boyfriend. His blood pumping the liquid courage through his body. Oblivious, he answered with a chuckle. “Yeah, totally dude, I hear it all the time.”

You went to interrupt before Vinnie took it too far, but your boyfriend quickly dismissed you with a hand on your thigh and a slurred whisper of “shh let ‘im speak, babe”

Vinnie rolled his eyes at the site, jealousy growing with each sip of alcohol. “Must be your pride and joy,” Vinnie murmured and your boyfriend huffed, “of course I pride myself in being a humble guy.”

“Vincent,” you snapped and Vinnie’s eyes went wide. “That’s enough.” You stared Vinnie down and he kept his eyes locked on yours despite your glaring, though your glaring eyes quickly turned soft the longer you stared at each other.

Your boyfriend spoke up, snapping your attention to him, though Vinnie didn’t care to remove his eyes from you. His eyebrows furrowed and a frown tugged down the corner of his lips, it looked ridiculous. “Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?” His words sounded forced as he spoke through clenched teeth.

You flinched from his words, your brows furrowed as you stared at him with a gaping mouth. “What?” Your voice shook and your face felt hot.

He rolled his eyes, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “You heard me,” he spat as he glared at you and Vinnie, though your gaze didn’t dare to meet Vinnie’s blank ones.

“I-“ you began before Vinnie interrupted you, his voice expressionless and his face equally so when you finally looked at him.

“Fuck you.” Oh god, you quickly stood up and glanced around for help to stop the fight that would inevitably follow. “Noah?” You yelled out and the boy quickly appeared with a lazy smile on his face before it quickly dropped when he saw your panicked expression.

He quickly walked up to you. “Woah, what’s wrong?” You were just about to gesture towards Vinnie and your boyfriend, but quickly stopped when your boyfriend clumsily stood up and threw the glass bottle toward Vinnie. Glass shattered on the concrete before Vinnie’s feet, beer staining his trousers and skin.

A gasp left your lips before you quickly ran forward to intercept your boyfriend who obviously wasn’t done. Vinnie had also gotten to his feet now, his eyes dark and fist clenched, his body tense as he stared your boyfriend down.

“Lil’ bitch,” your boyfriend slurred, your hand grasping his arm to hold him back. You tried to ignore him instead focusing on Vinnie who was now being held back by Noah. You took notice of the circle of which has formed around you, people curious to see what the escalation would be like.

Fingers pinched your arm tightly, almost breaking through skin. You tore your arm away from your boyfriend to see his glare directed to you now. Your arm burned from where he pinched you.

“What the fuck?” You exclaimed angrily as you gave him a light push. He wobbled a few steps back before he spat on your shoes, a disgusted expression on his face. “You’re his lil’ bitch, aren’t you?” He wiped the stray saliva from his chin with a crazed smile. “You’re his whore aren’t you?” You felt your nose burn as tears blurred your vision.

One second you were staring at your boyfriend, the next his body laid upon the ground, Vinnie straddling him, his fists flying. You could vaguely hear voices screaming, before Vinnie was quickly taken away from the bloodied man you once called your boyfriend.

Through your blurred vision you saw Vinnie being taken into the house by Noah and a couple of other guys, their faces pale.

“Hey,” a soft voice spoke. A blonde haired girl stood before you with a soft, shaky smile. “Let’s get you inside.” She didn’t wait for you to answer before she gently took your hand and walked you inside. You were grateful but your mouth felt wired shut. You wanted to know what happened to Vinnie and where he was taken to.

“Where is he?” She guided you to the plush couch and kneeled down before you, her hand still holding yours.

“Who? Vinnie?” She asked, her eyes quickly darting to the backyard where a commotion was still going on. You could only nod, a tear tickling your skin as it slid down your cheek and neck.

“They took him to the front lawn, someone called the cops.” Your heart stopped. “They’re hoping to explain the situation or something.” She gave you a reassuring smile. “He only protected you, stupidly of course,” she chuckled and you let a teary one out too.

“What’s your name?” Your voice cracked. She gave you a cheeky grin before answering you. “Phoebe, and you?” You told her your name and took a deep breath, “how bad is it?”

She sighed and chewed her button lip, “it looked worse than it is.” And it looked horrifying. You turned around to get a glimpse of your now unofficial ex boyfriend, and he was being held up by two guys, his nose bent and blood covering his lower face with splatters everywhere. Vinnie had done some proper damage in that short moment.

“Oh, don’t look,” she tugged at your hand and made you focus on her. She quickly got up and nodded to someone, whom you didn’t know.”

“She okay?” It was Noah, his hair disheveled and he looked flustered, his eyes quickly glancing outside before focusing on you again.

“Welp, she’s definitely shaken up and could definitely use a friend and some reassurance.” She gave you a small smile before walking back outside again. You wanted to thank her but you found yourself tongue tied.

Noah took a seat beside you, his body slumped against the cushions, and dragged a hand over his face before sitting straight. He looked exhausted.

“Are you okay?” You whispered shakily, your lips trembling. He snorted, “I’m fine, just tired from dealing with cops.” Oh god, your mind drew a scenario of Vinnie in the back of a patrol car.

“Is Vinnie arrested?” Your voice trembled, ‘god this shouldn’t be happening’ you thought to yourself.

Noah laughed this time, the sound loud in the quiet and tense living room. “Psst, no. They understood and they’re actually taking your man in instead for being drunk and disorderly.” Your mouth fell open before you quickly turned around in your seat again to find him again, but he was already gone. The guests back to mingling as though nothing had happened.

“Where’s Vinnie?” You asked Noah, mouth still gaping.

“Here,” another voice answered. Vinnie. He stood by the doorway with wrapped hands and a change of clothing. A sheepish smile on his blushing face. You quickly got up and wrapped your arms around his waist, your head resting on his hard chest. His arms quickly engulfed you tightly. “Thank you for standing up for me.” You sniffled .

“Meh, I always hated the guy.” You lifted your head to stare at him and a smile grew on his lips. “Just saying.”

——————

It took two months before you agreed to go out with Vinnie. He had planned the whole night, home baked pizzas with snacks and a handful of movies. You were both snuggled up under a shared blanket, hands intertwined. He rested his chin atop your head. “It feels surreal, you know?” He spoke. You moved to get a look at him. His dark eyes soft as they glanced at you under the glow of the lit candles on the living room table.

“It feels like I’m about to wake up at any moment and resent myself for this only being a dream.” He continued, he looked melancholy, as his inked hands nervously played with yours. “I never wanted to lose you, and I did anyway.” Your heart felt heavy as you listened. You wanted to say something but you could tell he wasn’t done speaking.

He sighed, forcing himself to let it all out. “I think I’m in love with you, I think I’ve been for a very long time. I don’t really know the definition of love but I know that you’re all I think about. You make me feel safe and nervous at the same time and it’s very confusing,” you both chuckled before he continued.

“I can’t see anyone else being in your place and if I had the power to, I would freeze time so I could spend an eternity here with you.” You were crying now and his warm hand lifted to grasp your wet cheek. His eyes were alight and a smile grew on his lips as he laughed.

“Fuck,” you sniffled, a smile covering your lips as your heart pounded in your chest. You felt indescribable happiness and love. The type of love written in books and wished upon falling stars. “I think I’m in love with you too.” You answered and quickly placed your lips on his.

His hands found their way to your waist before guiding your body down. He leaned over you, his lips still on yours whilst his tongue begged for entrance, and you let him. His tongue fought for dominance whilst he fit himself between your thighs. He slowly separated his tongue from yours and softly nipped on your bottom lip. A breathy laugh escaped his lips, his breath warming your swollen lips.

He quickly kissed your face, speaking between his kisses. “I” kiss “love” kiss “you” kiss.

———————

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[01zfan]

non-refundable | j. sc

ex!sungchan x reader | 5.5k words

yeah if its not obvious im literally insane and feral after sungchan posted those photos.

contains: non refundable trip with your ex, jacuzzi sex, unprotected sex, semi public

non-refundable: one | two

you loved the beach. you loved feeling the sand underneath your feet and the sun on your skin. you loved being in the water, and you loved seeing people around you enjoy it too. what you hated was your ex, and having to be there at the beach with him.

he had booked the villa at the resort months prior to your breakup. at the time it was very exciting, the idea of being able to escape the cold and celebrate your anniversary in the sun. but when you broke up with sungchan, the trip became the furthest thing from your mind. you had completely forgotten about it until sungchan forwarded you an email with the reservation. you had forgotten to get his email when you blocked everything related to him. 

in the email sungchan told you that it was too late to cancel the villa and he’d be out an ungodly amount of money if he didn’t go. you bickered back and forth via email the whole day, with you telling trying to give sungchan solutions to his problems.

call the front desk? i already did, they said no exceptions.

take shotaro. he hates the beach.

go by yourself. you want me to look like a loser?

you were adamant about not going until you talked to your friends about it. they nearly knocked you head off your shoulders, telling you it would be stupid to turn down an all expenses paid trip to a nice villa and the beach. you had been overworked this holiday season, and you deserved a break more than anything. they didn’t seem to care that it was a trip with your ex. when one of your friends brought up the possibility of sungchan taking some random girl in your place, you found yourself sending him an email back that you’ll go with him.

“maybe it’ll get your mind off the breakup.” your friend joked.

you were pinching your friend for her terrible joke when sungchan emailed you back. 

so less than three days later, you were getting driven to the villa by your ex while you sat in the passenger seat. it was insanely strange, especially seeing sungchan’s hand that would always be on your thigh while he drove awkwardly resting on the center console. the car ride was spent mostly in silence, except for the music. you know you could’ve talked about your relationship, maybe even apologize for somethings you knew you should’ve apologized for but you kept your eyes on the road, trying not to think about sungchan sitting next to you.

things were easier once you got to the villa. not being in the small space of the car helped you get away from him. after taking in the scenery of the beautiful vacation home you’re happy you didn’t bail. before you knew it you set your stuff up in the bedroom and changed into your bikini. you hesitated before putting putting on the revealing set, thinking about your ex on the other side of the door. would he react if he saw you in your two piece? you change into your bikini anyways. maybe you should show him what he’s missing.

you assumed sungchan was watching television or was putting away the food you guys bought on the way down. even though you were no longer together sungchan didn’t even let you take your card out, paying for everything without a second thought. you couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t nice, especially seeing him load the snacks you liked wordlessly into the cart. you thought he would be preoccupied when you came out, and you would be able to sneak off to the beach without him noticing. but sungchan noticed, and he saw you completely. he was in his own swimsuit, with two towels on his shoulder and mouth agape as he took you in.

sungchan wasn’t sure what he was expecting. he thought that you would be bashful and wear a swimsuit that covered your body more, not wanting to be put on display for your ex. but you stood before him in all your glory, a colorful bikini that made your eyes pop and your skin glow. sungchan had to put on his best act to walk past you and seem unbothered. the way your eyes raked down his body gave him the confidence to smirk like you didn’t almost make him pass out cold.

“we can get to the beach through the backdoor.” sungchan said.

“i know that.” you said, walking past him to get through the siding glass door. 

you were steadily ahead of him the whole way to the beach. you didn’t dare to look back at sungchan, but you swear you could feel him looking at you entire time. 

you rented a large umbrella and set up at an empty spot. the large umbrella was perfect, giving you shade while you lathered yourself in sunscreen. you were almost able to get all of your body, except for that pesky spot in the center of your back that was just a little bit out of your reach. just in time, sungchan appeared with two pina coladas and your towel.

“need help?” sungchan said, setting the drinks on the table.

you looked up at him from your spot on the sand. he blocked the sun from getting in your eyes, a shadow cast on your face. you were grateful you had put your shades on so sungchan couldn’t see where your eyes were truly looking. you had them trained of his abs, and they flickered to his toned arms. there was no way sungchan didn’t know the effect he had on you. you put your head back towards the water, trying to look at something else.

“no.” you huffed. 

your pride kept you from being honest. you rather let that small spot on your back get a little tan before you let sungchan touch you. just as sungchan sat down you got up, getting ready to go in the water. sungchan scoffed at your childish behavior. you could hear the cap of the sunscreen open and close.

“want to help me?” sungchan asked. 

you snapped your head to look down at him, just to see a big toothy grin on his face. he laughed at your reaction and you had to play the mean ex girlfriend to cover up the fact that he got you so good. 

“you can get a sunburn.” you said.

sungchan continued to put on sunscreen as you walked to the water. you wasted no time going up to your neck in the water, loving the cool feeling against your skin. you truly were grateful to be here at the beach, back home all you had was deadlines and stress. but here you had the sun and good drinks. so you let your body float around as you looked at the sun, basking in the warmth.

sungchan stayed at the shore for a long time. he kept an eye on you, making sure everything was alright. he wasn’t much of a swimmer anyways, he hated how sand got everywhere and how sunscreen felt on his skin, but he loved how much you seemed to enjoy it. it looked like you were in your own little world in the water, floating around while spread out like a starfish. when sungchan couldn’t take anymore of just watching you, he paddled out to where you were.

you could hear sungchan coming through the water towards you. he was loud even in the water, the sound of water thrashing filled your ears. you could hear him treading water next to you. you kept your eyes closed and continued to float.

“did you come all the way to the beach just to float around like a dead person?” sungchan asked.

“did you come all the way here just to spend time with your ex?” you said back.

you couldn’t stop a mischievous smile from coming across your face when sungchan let out a small sound of shock. you descended from the floating position to tread water like he was. you saw through your tinted shades that sungchan was smiling too.

“and what if i did?” sungchan asked. 

he seemed almost as unbothered as you were. he shamelessly looking at your chest through the clear water. you put your sunglasses on top of your head so sungchan could see you looking through the water at his body too.

“i would say you’re pretty desperate, honestly.” you said.

both of your eyes still looked at the others body. building up tension like this with sungchan was always fun. it was one of the highlights of your relationship, how bold he was when it came to letting you know how he felt. it didn’t help that he was a tease and naturally doting either. you didn’t expect any less to happen on a vacation with your ex.

“there’s a dinner tonight that we have a reservation for.” sungchan said.

his gaze went back to your eyes. for some reason it was harder to look at him when he held your eye contact like this. you let your sunglasses fall back on your face, tinted shades saving you from embarrassment.

“can’t cancel?” you asked. 

sungchan shook his head and your eyebrows raised.

“no. i can.” sungchan said simply. “it was that place you picked out. i thought it would be wrong to cancel unless you wanted to.”

you thought about it for a minute. you remembered the restaurant and the way it stuck out to you. it seemed like a fancy place though, one that was romantic as well. you were surprised sungchan remembered the reservation. you assumed it would be soon. the beach was starting to clear out, a sign that dinnertime was approaching.

“if we were to go...” you said.

“not a date.” sungchan said, shaking his head. “unless you want it to be.” 

sungchan smirked and you splashed water in his face. his smug expression was replaced with a shocked one. you quickly started swimming back to shore before he could retaliate. he was laughing behind you the whole way and you couldn’t hold back your laughs either. 

when you made it to the shore sungchan followed behind you. you couldn’t help but gawk at him, his wet hair and the way his abs body caught in the sunlight. you almost tripped over yourself staring at him to hard. sungchan was one step ahead of you, catching you before you fell down. he’s joking demeanor was replaced with a serious one as he helped you back to your feet.

you were the closest you had been to sungchan in a long time, your chest almost touching his. you had flashbacks of being in this same position before getting on your tiptoes to kiss him, or when you’d wrap your arms around his to give him a hug. it was too intimate to be this close to him, especially when you could feel his hands on you. sungchan seemed to know it too the way he looked down at you with big eyes. it took a couple moments for you to come back to earth, clearing your throat before stepping away from him. you hated feeling his hands leave your body.

“we should probably go back to the villa right? to get ready for the dinner.” you said. 

you started heading off to your spot on the sand before sugnchan could reply. he messed with his hair a little bit to shake out the water while he composed himself. you downed the rest of your pina colada, hating that you could barely taste the alcohol. you came to the conclusion that you would need something insanely strong for the all inclusive trip if you wanted to get through the weekend. sungchan let you drink his too, looking at you with wide eyes as parts of the slushy dripped down your face.

you ended up carrying the towels back to the villa while sungchan carried everything else. he returned the umbrella and the cups used for the drinks all while holding the bag with all your stuff in it. you were too embarrassed to ask to hold something else, you knew that sungchan would just decline you holding anything anyways. plus, you think he enjoyed giving you a little show of how strong he was, hands full while not breaking a sweat. you had to look away while his arms flexed putting all the stuff down back in the villa. 

you retreated to the bedroom while sungchan went to shower first. you stayed in your room the whole time while the water ran. you were trying to think how you would get through the night with the image of sungchan on the beach basically haunting you. if you were still together you knew that you two probably wouldn’t have even made it to the beach to begin with, too busy trying to break in the bed of the villa. the tradition of fucking on virtually every surface anytime you went somewhere with sungchan was in the back of your mind, but now it occupied everything. the mattress was comfy and giving underneath your experimental bounces. you could see yourself so vividly getting pressed into the mattress while sungchan would fuck you from behind, telling you how pretty you looked in your little swimsuit. sungchan was the type to not even want to waste time taking off your bottoms, simply just pushing them to the side before making you take all of him. you had to beat away the thought of going into the bathroom and joining him. you had some sort of reputation to uphold, you didn’t want to be the one to fold so easily.

you had to avoid looking at the dining room table and the couch as you made a beeline for the bathroom. sungchan came out, of course only covered with a towel around his waist. the same amount of his body was covered as it was on the beach, but the unspoken fact that there was nothing on underneath the towel made you lightheaded. you barely said a word to him as you closed the door.

sungchan exited the bathroom with a plan to get you to fold. he wanted to be the best ex-boyfriend ever, doting on you the same way he did when you two were together. now that you were no longer his girlfriend it tortured him to no end. he counted his lucky stars that you didn’t turn down coming on the trip with him. to sungchan, he saw it as an opening, a chance to win you back. he hit the gym religiously after seeing you agree to go with him, making sure the reservation for the dinner was perfect. 

he put on his outfit while you got ready in the bathroom. he was tempted to stay in his towel, giving you another view of his body incase you didn’t get to see it last time. sungchan laughed at himself in the bathroom as he lowered the towel to show off as much as possible. it wasn’t in vain, your shy actions letting him know he got you acting out of character. 

sungchan was fully dressed and ready to go when you. got out of the bathroom. you came out fully dressed and ready, in a dress that sungchan helped you pick out when you were still together. he stood up instantly from his spot on the couch. the directions to the restaurant on his phone completely forgotten. it was hard for sungchan to explain how you made him feel. sometimes he enjoyed getting you shy, or the way your bikini made him hot and bothered earlier. but now as you stood before him in that dress he saw an entire future with you, and his heart was beating at a dangerous rate in his ribcage.

“are you ready?” you said to sungchan.

seeing him in something a little more formal made you dizzy. you wanted to go to the restaurant, but you also wanted to see his dress shirt wrinkle underneath your clenched fists as you brought him in closer. sungchan nodded and held out his hand towards the door, following behind you as you walked to it.

there was absolutely no way you were going to make it out of this weekend trip unscathed. you came to that conclusion when sungchan brought his hand to rest on your thigh while driving you to the restaurant. you hated to admit that you moved your thighs closer to him, giving sungchan better access to the area. he smiled and tapped on the steering wheel with the other hand.

“i read the reviews for this place. it’s supposed to be really good.” sungchan said.

you could only hum in agreement. you were distracted for the rest of the night, mind only going to how sungchan looked at you and took care of you the whole time. he opened doors, pulled out chairs, and ordered wine that you didn’t know you’d end up liking. he spoke for you to the waiter and didn’t even let you see the bill. the food was amazing but you couldn’t even properly enjoy it while thinking about sungchan. you found that it was suddenly hard to look at him in the face, heat spreading across your face when he told you how pretty you looked in your dress. you desperately wanting sungchan to tell you more, preferably him whispering in your ear while he was on top of you. you almost caught yourself laughing at your depravity, how no one in your life has ever had you like this.

you were grateful when the check came. it meant you were one step closer to locking yourself in the bedroom of the villa so you could think about sungchan in private.

on the way home, sungchan opened the car door for you and helped you in. his hand went back to its home while he was driving. the car ride was silent again, but you could feel sungchan’s gaze flicker to yours occasionally.

once you were back at the villa, sungchan helped you out, closing the door behind you. you let the same hand that was on your thigh go to your lower back. sungchan used the excuse to touch you under the guise of helping you to the door. the drinks you had throughout the day had no effect on you this late in the evening, but sungchan was treating you like you were made of glass. you enjoyed the feeling, missing the feeling of sungchan dote on you.

once inside of the villa, you couldn’t look back at him. his hand still was on your back, pressing gently to let you know he was still there. you cleared your throat, walking a little too fast towards the bedroom.

sungchan said something to you but you didn’t hear him, too busy trying to be alone. 

it was too ironic, getting away from sungchan just so you could think about him in private. you laid in your bed in silence until the sun started to set, giving the room an orange glow. you stayed in bed even through the sun completely setting. you didn’t get up until the view of the beach was clearing out. you needed to do something, your body too tense to sleep. you remembered the jacuzzi on the porch, and the beautiful view you got of the beach from that spot. so you quietly changed from your dress back into the almost dry bikini. 

you take a quick peak and see that the television is still on. you can see sungchan’s long legs hanging over the edge of the couch, but you can’t tell if he’s sleeping or not. you think about what you should do, if you should just go to sleep and hope that you wake up feeling better or if you should walk out. you think about the warm jacuzzi and the thought of sungchan possibly joining you has you thinking hard. you decide to take you chances as you slowly walk to the sliding glass door. 

you could see sungchan move from his spot on the couch, getting up to look at you. you made eye contact with him as he sat up.

“it’s too dark to go to the beach.” sungchan said.

“i’m just going to the jacuzzi.” you said.

“oh, alright.” sungchan said.

you could practically hear him holding back his tongue, still staring at you while you continued to open the sliding glass door.

“can i join you?” sungchan asked.

before you could even think about saying no, you nodded you head. sungchan got up from his spot on the couch and stretched, taking off his shirt quickly. you turned away to situate yourself in the jacuzzi before he came out.

your back was facing the villa, but you could hear the sliding glass door open again. you saw sungchan in only his basketball shorts pass by him. your head followed his every move as he went to the other side. it was later in the night, the time of day where everyone had retired back to their dwellings to get ready for the next day. you probably should’ve done the same, being up this late with just sungchan would only lead to mistakes being made. but for some reason you stayed in your spot, looking up at your ex-boyfriend as he looked down at you.

“you just can’t get enough of the water can you?” sungchan said casually.

sungchan slowly came to the side of the jacuzzi opposite of you.

“neither can you.” you say. 

sungchan only shrugs before letting himself sink into the water. he lets himself lean against the side of the jacuzzi, elbows coming out of the water to rest on the edge. you look at sungchan from across the jacuzzi, the water separating you two feeling like the ocean. you think about the looks you’ve been exchanging all day, the tension that has been building up since he picked you up this morning. it was a terribly bad idea to come on this trip with him.

“i had fun today.” sungchan says. 

“me too.” you say.

you start playing with the bubbling water of the jacuzzi to occupy your mind. you can feel sungchan staring at you, you focus on the bubbles waiting for him to stop.

“you were staring the whole day now you won’t look at me?” sungchan said.

you looked up for a moment to see the smile on his face. you wish you had your tinted shades on now, or something to cover your entire face as you could feel the heat spreading everywhere.

your eyes only got wider as sungchan closed the distance between your bodies. he put hands on either side of you, giving you no option but to look at him. you could never get used to that look in his eyes, the one that told you he wanted to fuck you senseless. 

“tell me to stop and i will.” sungchan whispered.

his eyes scanned your face and you nodded, feeling his eyes gravitate towards your lips.

sungchan brought you in slowly, so slow that you had to close the rest of the distance. you had to awkwardly extend your neck to deepen the kiss, but a hand on your face helped you. you leaned back against the edge of the jacuzzi, feeling sungchan’s body press against yours. you could hear the low hum of the machine in the jacuzzi and the waves crashing on the beach. the wind moved the branches of the palm trees slightly and your hand went to sungchan’s hair to move it out of the way. his hand was delicate on your face, bringing you gently to peck your lips over and over. you receive each kiss, following his head each time he pulls back wanting more.

sungchan looks at your face again. your eyes are already blown out and  low as you look at his lips. sungchan sucks on your lower lip and uses a hand to slowly grab your covered breast. you end up pulling your lips from sungchan’s mouth when you lean your head back, letting it rest on the edge of the jacuzzi. you arch your back, bringing your chest closer to sungchan’s body. he laughs at your current state, so touch starved you whimpering just from his hand and a few chaste kisses.

“you’re such a tease, you know that right?” sungchan said.

he’s amazed at how pliant you are, how you whimper a yes and nod your head. sungchan isn’t even trying to be dominant but you naturally follow everything he says. sungchan doesn’t know how he was so stupid to let you slip through his fingers.

sungchan’s hands underneath the water play with the ties on the sides of your bikini, undoing them with one simple motion. when you bring your head back up, you see your bikini bottoms floating on the surface of the jacuzzi. you whimper when you feel sungchan’s hand caress the skin of your thigh. he brings his hand so close to your folds before retreating playfully. he wants to hear you whine and beg for him.

“you wanna get fucked by your ex so bad, huh?” sungchan says.

when you only nod your head sungchan puts two fingers inside of you suddenly. your grip on his hair tightens and you can’t stop the moan that comes out.

“yes.” you moan.

you’re lucky the beach has cleared out. you can see the beach clearly from here, the dark water washing up higher and higher on the shore. anyone from the beach would be able to see sungchan’s back on your hand marking it. you’re sure people in the surrounding villas might be able to hear you as well.

the possibility of getting caught doesn’t stop sungchan at all. in fact, this only eggs him on to bring you to the brink faster. he figures that if he fucks you here you’ll let him carry you bridal style back into the villa so he can fuck you properly on bed. maybe next you’ll let him take you on the kitchen counter and then the couch while the television plays. if you’ll let him, sungchan will gladly have you up the rest of the night taking him over and over again while he asks you to give him a second chance. but for now, he has to settle with bending his fingers inside of you while he watches you try and collect your thoughts.

“so tight baby,” sungchan says. he adds another finger. “do you think you can even take it like you used to?”

you are able to come out of your state of bliss to nod your head eagerly.

“i can take it.” you mewl. 

“are you sure?” sungchan teases.

“yes.” your whines have almost become cries as you look at sungchan desperately.

you start reaching for sungchan underneath his swim trunks, feeling his hard dick through the fabric. you squeeze him tight, the way you know he likes it. sungchan looks down at your hand underneath the water. you go to pull at his waistband and sungchan uses his free hand to help you. in no time both of your swim bottoms float together on the surface of the water.

you grab sungchan’s length and jerk him off desperately. you don’t remember the last time you felt like this, like a horny teenage doing everything in your power to get off. sungchan feeds off of it, and he wonders what he did today that has made you so pent up.

“can’t believe this is the same girl that wanted nothing to do with me a couple days ago.” sungchan says, humping your hand “what changed?”

you don’t have the answer for him. instead you just jerk him off faster as he lifts you underneath the water. you wrap your legs around his waist easily. he puts a hand on your back where you make contact with the edge of the pool so you don’t get scratched by the rough edge. this also helps him press your body against his.

“god i missed you so much,” sungchan says. “missed this pussy, too.”

“i missed you too.” you say pitifully.

you help sungchan guide his dick inside of you. you forgot the anticipation and excitement that bubbled over your entire body before sungchan would push into you. he takes you all in, pressing his lips against yours as he slides in.

you are both moaning pitifully into eachothers mouths, taken over by the stimulation. you hate to admit how close you are to asking sungchan to be your boyfriend again when he bottoms out. you missed the doting and the teasing and how he always made sure you feel good. he wastes no time picking up the speed, knowing how desperate you must be. you mentioned to him once that you liked when he didn’t always give you time to adjust and he still remembered by the way he fucks you.

“so fucking tight.” sungchan seethed. 

“you’re so big.” you moaned.

“i know baby. i know.” sungchan mockingly cooed.

sungchan continues to work against the buoyancy of the water, causing tiny waves as he fucks you against the wall of the jacuzzi. you hold onto sungchan’s shoulders, digging your fingernails into his wet skin. he’s so big inside of you, your walls haven’t felt the stretch in so long. you can’t stop yourself from clenching around sungchan with each thrust, the way he grunts into your ear from the exertion has you clamping around him even more.

“your dick is perfect.” you say between each thrust.

sungchan smirks into your neck before biting the skin, causing you to clamp around him again. this time it’s sungchan moaning into your ear. his hand on your back is no help as you press into the edge of the jacuzzi, it’s a pain you welcome if it means sungchan continues to fuck you like this.

sungchan pulls away from your neck to look at your chest. the thrusts have your breasts breaking the surface of the water and sungchan watches in amazement as they jump up and down.

“so beautiful.” sungchan says.

“take off my top for me baby.” you tell him.

sungchan uses the hand on your back to undo the tie. immediately your boobs spill out, pressing against sungchan’s chest. this lights a flame underneath sungchan, he ruts his hips into yours desperately. his hand that was holding your hips up pries between your two bodies so he can press a finger to your clit. you dig your nails deeper into sungchan’s skin at the feeling, and he locks into your face as he speeds up his fingers.

“i’m close.” you whimper.

“me too.” sungchan says.

the thought of sungchan seeing you cum suddenly makes you nercous. you think it would be better to face the inside of the villa while you moan out his name. if you look at him in the face you might really do something you’ll regret.

“turn me around.” you say. 

your words are breathless and broken off by sungchan’s ministrations. to your dismay sungchan shakes his head, the rare occasion he doesn’t listen to you. he only picks up his speed and your mouth opens.

“i wanna see your face,” sungchan says. he pauses just for a moment to lift your body up, letting you rewrap your legs around his hips. “is that alright?”

sungchan says it with a smirk on his face because he knows you’ll fold. not even a second elapses before you nod your head quickly, bringing his body closer to you with your legs.

“go ahead,” sungchan’s pace is unrelenting, some water splashes on your chin. “cum for me baby.”

you don’t last another second. a high pitched cry leaves your mouth and you slump against sungchan as you try desperately to come down. you con’t stop yourself from crying out his name and an i love you’s, something you always said when orgasming. sungchan says it right back to you as he finishes inside of you, hips stilling as you milk him dry.

both of you are slumped against the edge of the jacuzzi as you try to catch your breaths. sungchan is the first to come back down to earth, pushing his wet hair from his face as his covers your skin in kisses. he kisses your forehead, cheeks, nose, chin, anything his lips can reach. you come back down to earth in a panic, realizing you told your ex you loved him like you two were still together. 

sungchan gets out of the jacuzzi first and silently offers a hand to you. you can already feel the wear of your body, slightly sore from pressing into the rough lip of the jacuzzi. you take sungchan’s hand, getting ready to tell him you didn’t mean the love confession. just like always he is one step ahead of you, kissing your lips before you can get a word out. he leads your through the door of the villa and starts heading towards the bedroom.

“let’s see if you still don’t mean it by the morning.” sungchan says