#i thought you were my mother

[theballadoftimburton]

by far the worst punishment my mother has ever threatened to inflict upon me is taking away our subscription from disney+ so i couldn’t watch musicals about dead people, orphans, cheating on your wife with their third cousin, dead people, dead older sisters, dead people, patriotic old men, and dead people

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much

Reference that I used for the face!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

The funny difference between protestantism (what I grew up with) and judaism is how both conceive of work

For many protestant-influenced scenarios, you must work - the sabbath day? That's just another weekend to spend as you please (work. chores, which is work, too). There's no real excuse to stop working, working is inherently G-dly and Good.

Judaism? Don't you even think about working on the hours of shabbos. (Certain) Holidays? Same deal. Actually, working is explicitly impermissible, g-d literally said so.

Anyway, I just think those small differences in how work and what constitutes work contributes to attitudes about working. I don't think protestantism or judaism are inherently like those examples, just that in my experience, the protestant attitude towards work is that it is what makes you worthy, good, and holy and non-work (laziness, sloth) is A Sin.

[coquelicoq]

the best reason to socialize is so that you will have stories to tell other people while you're socializing with them. it's a racket. a pyramid scheme. it's all built on air

[floralcavern]

THE FACT THAT WHEN ACHILLES LEARNED HIS MOM CAN’T SEE HIM ON THE MOUNTAIN, HIS FIRST INSTINCT IS TO SLEEP WITH HIS BEST FRIEND.

[freakurodani]

The parallel between Sokka and Tenzin as their fathers' sons.

Sokka, left at 13 as his father and all the other men head off to war. Hakoda tells him "being a man is knowing where he's needed the most" and he needs to protect his sister, his home.

Tenzin is the second airbender. He is also half water tribe, he's a man. When Aang dies, he will be the last airbender. He understands what he needs to do.

Untold amount of pressure and responsibility have been thrust upon them by their fathers. Though, I believe it is not all intentional, but the unfortunate circumstance of being the fathers of sons who take responsibility incredibly seriously.

In Sokka's case, "protect your sister" is a vague instruction. It was meant to give him purpose, to help him feel okay about being left behind, He is too young for war, his father does not want to bring his child to slaughter. But Sokka will die with purpose. He will train the children of his tribe so they will be protected, he will face a fire nation ship until his last breath. He cannot go to war, but Hakoda did not see that war was all around them. In trying to give Sokka purpose, Hakoda put their world on his shoulders.

We do not get to see Aang be a father (in the TV shows), but we know he had hopes for the future. All his children were air nomads, and the air acolytes brought his culture back, but Tenzin could bend. This part of their culture is one ONLY they share. I do not think Aang would hide this, he is joyous that he gets to share his culture. When he feels respected, he always is, he taught the air acolytes after all. Off handedly, he could say, "I'm hopeful for a future where there are lots more air benders," and that, which feels mostly innocuous to him, is the nail in the coffin of Tenzin's fate. He is Avatar Aang's son, and the future of the air benders. It would not matter that Aang meant a future in generations. Tenzin sees the responsibility and it's his. He is his father's only air bending child, he knows what he needs to do.

Being a parent is not understanding the way the things you say harm your children. Even those things that feel innocuous in the moment can be life altering. Especially the more the child respects the parent. Purpose and Hope for those with a broader perspective, can be death sentences to a life that could have been when expressed to those who idolize the former.

[lloydfrontera]

we don't talk nearly enough about javier willingly confessing to never, ever thinking about a life without lloyd, while knowing damn well everyone in the estate would be able to see his confession. he really put his whole heart out on the sky for everyone to read like that.

he wasn't even asking if he could get lloyd back, he didn't know he was alive yet, he just wanted to know what had happened to him after crossing the gate.

he wanted to know if lloyd was happy in his next life even though javier couldn't protect him in this one so badly he was willing to let everyone know that he'd always thought he would spend the rest of his life at lloyd's side. which for someone as reserved and guarded as javier must've felt a little bit like being flayed alive lmao

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Blood Contract

Hello! I got a gift! I am not obsessed with your AU of my AU at all :D

Okay so... I may have gone a bit overboard. As always. It is just a gift for my friend. It is theirs to do with whatever they want :D So if you @spotaus like stuff from it be free to see it as canon :D and use however you like <3

I tried not to go too far with world building or lore because, again, it is yours but i always sneak in little things :3 Hope you like it :D

*-----------------*

Nim looks up from her papers as she glances through the window of her carrage.

Ugh. It is always so slow.

Her powers and her magic hums in her. Burning hotter than the sun in the desert. Warming than a burning fire. So ready to do waht is needed. So ready for her to pick what she wants and how.

And this is still the weak version of it all.

She sighs as she leans back. She is getting older. Her weak body isn't able to handle the magic as well as she used to. Good thing that her heir is almost here.

Nim looks to the side and grabs one of her special magical orbs. She had a few made specially for this trip. She activates it with a touch and the orb shows her own personal healer.

The healer bows and waits after a respectful "My king."

Nim hums as she lounges back in her soft seat "How is my heir?"

The healer walks to the side and there is the one carrying her heir. The healer uses magic and speaks to her "Both of the twins are growing well and even. Neither of the souls seems to be progressing quicker than the other and both are almost fully grown. The chances of both twins being born healthy is getting near the 60% now!"

Nim feels herself smile as she purrs softly "Finally."Finally good news. It had taken a long time for her to finally have one of her many mates manage to carry her a heir. The risk of carrying twins rather large and most of the monsters dying before the twins had a chance to be born. taking her possible heir with them to be one with the stars.

One of her many mates looks up at the orb and looks at her "My liege! I am so excited to meet your children! Will you be back soon?" they look at her. hopeful and desperate. Nim knows there is full loyalty.

Nim just gives a smile "I will be back when I get back." This trip is very necessary.

After all. The one carrying the twins won't survive. The soullings will be too big for the carrying soul to handle or deliver safely. meaning the temporary mother will die soon after the twins birth. and Nim will take her rightful place as their mother.

But Nim is a very busy woman. Very busy and very powerful. She does not have the time to raise two children. One of which to the perfect sacrifice and the other as her perfect heir.

Which is why she is looking for the right person to take care of her heir.

She smiles as she remembers herself. the rush of power. the emotions running high. claiming what was rightfully hers and growing so much more powerful. Her first mate. There ready for her to finally claim as hers as they had always been.

Nim sighs wishfully. Such a shame they didn't live long. They had been perfect in every way. So handsome and kind. With her every step of the way. They had even managed to carry twins on the first try!

Only for them to die. Their soul burst when the soullings grew too large.

The soullings had survived.

She had killed them.

And she started over.

Attachments are a weakness waiting to be exploid.

But this time! This time! it will be perfect. her little heir will have the perfect little first mate. She will encourage her heir to have multiple mates. form a harem early on. the first one to start it off and keep track of it and the others to make possible heirs.

It will be perfect. Just like their kingdom.

The carriage stops and Nim leaves it. It is some poor useless town. Just useful to retrieve sacrifices from.

Or... to find someone who seemed promising. This better be worth her trip. the last four options had been lacking.

She walks through the town. Her guards behind her with her few items she picked for this. People see her and look away right away. they bow and do not make eye contact.

Good.

They are all beneath her.

She walks straight to the place she had found. She gets to a small shack of a place. seems like it is a small store for everyday needs. Most likely the only spot for this small town to get things.

She walks in.

There is a skeleton behind the counter who looks shocked before quickly bowing and muttering softly "My king. You honour us." another skeleton walks out of the back but quickly bows at the sight of her.

Fear in the air.

Nim holds up a hand "Rise." both skeletons rise as she looks around. the two adults. where is number three? "I am here for a very special quest. Everyone in the household is to come outside. This plac eis far beneath me." ugh. The very fact she had to step into this raggy run down mess of a store. selling cheap and second hand wares?

disgusting.

She leaves the store and walks out to the street. people are watching through the windows and a few remain by the edges of the road.

It takes only a moment before the first skeleton walks out. He stands before the store and kneels down on the ground and stays kneeled.

A few moments later the skeleton from behind the counter walks out. behind her walks a much smaller and younger skeleton. There he is.

She joins her husband and kneels as well. The younger skeleton moves to join his parents but Nim holds up a hand and snaps her finger.

The young skeleton freezes and stares at her for a moment before looking down adn mtutering "I... I... I will... kneel? sorry?" he keeps looking down adn shaking as fear hangs heavy around him. There is even more fear from the two skeletons already kneeling.

Nim walks over to the child and looks at him "How old are you?"

the child flinches but speaks "I am seven your highness..." and he stays silent.

Nim nods to herself. That is the right age after all! At least this time her sources were useful and correct. It is often a hit and miss if the sources turn out to be either of those.

Nim nods and looks at one of her guards "Bring me the seeing orb."

She ignores the fear around the skeletons. and how more fear joins their feelings from the people around them. They should be afraid. The only thing which lets them live as they are is her mercy. They should be thankful that they are even allowed to stay near her very presence.

The guard walks over and gives her the seeing orb. She aims it at the young skeleton and speaks "Who will he be if I choose him." And she stares into the orb.

It takes a moment. a few quick flashes. She sees her castle. Lessons. training. filling meals and-

oh?

Seems like this child will be an exceptional pretty skeleton.

Good. It would just be poor planning if she gave her heir an ugly first mate. she looks to the guards and nods before looking at the skeleton as she hands the orb back "What are you called?" Hopefully it is a good eough name. otherwise she will have to spend energy on thinking off a better one.

The skeleton shrinks futher in on himself but answers "My name is Ccino mister- i mean... my king..."

nim considers the name. Ccino is not a name you hear often. it is clearly not a royal name but it is rare enough to not be obvious as a commoner name...

Nim nods "You may keep that one." she naps her fingers "To the carriage."

Ccino looks confused but her guards walk over and grab him. He lets out a distressed chirp as he looks back to his parents "mom? Dad?!"

both skeletons had risen to their feet "Ccino?!"

The mother looks at her begging "please... please why are you taking ccino? we... we payedour taxes and gave most of the extra we earned! we swear we have prove and documents to proof this!"

The other skeleton tries to get to ccino but guards blcok him. Ccino is pushed into her carriage and the carriage is locked. Ccino looks through the window clearly panicked and with tears running down his face.

Nim slowly turns to the skeleton daring to speak to her "There is a very important position which he will be filling."

The skeleton trembles as she glares at Nim. Tears running down her face "That is my son!"

nim just watches the other. unimpressed and annoyed "Adn you are being hysterical. Then again." she snaps her fingers and the guards grab both adult skeletons "It is important that new servants know their place."

Nim slowly pulls out a contract she had put together. As long as the child is underaged his parents will be in charge of binding documents concerning him. She uses magic and the contract unrolls. Nim taps it ones and her own signature appears on it before letting a few of her own drops of blood fall on it.

Nim speaks calmly "You will sign this. and Ccino will be property of the royal family." she lets it fly closer to the held skeletons.

the female shakes her skull and struggles "No! Never!" The other skeleton is much the same.

Nim sighs as she raises a hand. She can't believe she has to use some of her actual powers for this. it is as if these idiots don't even see the oppertunity. that a future in the castle will be much brighter and perfect than whatever mess of a life he could have here.

both skeletons shudder as they slowly raise their hands.

"No! No! Please don't! Don't take our son! please!"

The begging is annoying and their desperation is hard to control.

See? This is exactly why she will make sure her heir is much stronger. Much much stronger.

The signatures appear on the paper and the guards raise both the parents hands above the contract. Nim watches as the guards cut both hands and blood drips unto it.

Sealing the deal and contract with magic and blood.

It rolls itself up and nim takes it as the skeletons sob and beg. She waves towards the building the both are moved into it before the door closes.

Nim watches the building for a moment before using a simple fire spell to set it ablaze.

The flames are mesmorising.

The screams and cries are annoying.

She watches until the fire dies down. she watches as the guards search the remains. Only returning with dust mixed with the ashes. No way to even know which is which.

She turns her back on the no longer existing building and walks towards her carriage. she enters it and takes a seat in her usual spot before turning her sight on the shaking ball of bones in the corner. Sobbing and crying loudly.

Nim speaks as they start moving "You will pull yourself together if you wish to be useful. I have no need for useless things."

Once he had the first few classes she will tell him what his role will be.

No need to explain to someone who may not even make it through the first week.

If he does however make it through? He will need lessons on how to care for children and all that comes with it.

But she has people for that. No need to get herself involved more than she needs.

She relaxes as she looks through the window. Enjoying the view.

What a perfect day in the perfect kingdom.

[batcavescolony]

I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.

[missus-paint]

mother of mine

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm back on my bullshit thinking about the Hawke siblings again and how much I love a "both twins live" AU... but y'know what I love just a little bit more? An AU where all three Hawke siblings are alive, but one of the twins still get attacked by the ogre in Lothering and is presumed dead when they actually survived.

I like to think that since the narrative in DA2 is framed as a story Varric's telling Cassandra, we can play around with the fact that he's an unreliable narrator. Varric wasn't there in Lothering. He only knows what Hawke told him. It makes for a better story if Leandra, Hawke, and the surviving twin get to huddle around the dead twin and say their goodbyes... especially if they didn't actually get to do that. I mean, a lot of us already have that train of thought when it comes to Leandra's death and Hawke getting some closure through her final words telling them how proud she is. Whose to say Varric didn't do that for the lost twin, as well?

All that to ask what if the ogre attack happened, but the group was so overwhelmed by darkspawn they had to flee further and couldn't check the twin who "died?" Flemeth still showed up, but it was too late to go back and say goodbye.... so Hawke made a deal with the Witch of the Wilds and they all pushed forward to Kirkwall.

Imagine Bethany, left behind with broken bones and bleeding in the sand, fading in and out of consciousness as the remaining darkspawn surround her. She knows how to heal, how to fight back, but she's weakened. Her staff lays out of reach. Air shakes in her lungs. She tries to call for help, but only wheezes come out. Where's her mother? Her siblings? Did the ogre get them, too?

At this point, we all know what happens to the women darkspawn take, and Bethany could've met that fate; she doesn't have the strength to fight back as they drag her away. But before they can bring her underground, she's saved by another group of survivors. Perhaps they're more soldiers fleeing Ostagar, or townsfolk who recognize her from Lothering. They do what they can to treat her wounds but she needs a healer, so they bring her with them to seek refuge in Redcliffe... except they eventually realize she's an apostate. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous, but they still contact the templars.

Bethany wakes in a warm but unfamiliar bed with skilled healers tending to her. Templars hover by the doorway. First Enchanter Irving greets her, gentle in explaining she's safe inside of Kinloch Hold and that she's going to survive. When Bethany asks about her family, he gives her a sympathetic smile and says they only found her.

Bethany, who never took to embracing her magic the way her older sibling did and always felt like it burdened her family... has lost that very family. Could they survive the ogre and darkspawn? Or did the ogre tear them apart, too? How did she survive... but not them? Did the Maker really have such a sense of humor? How else would she end up in the Circle, a place her family went to great lengths to keep her safe from?

She doesn't want to think about it. She hopes they made it to Kirkwall, but the prickle of dread that crawls up her spine knows how unlikely it is. Bethany finds comfort in speaking with the mages who rotate in to heal and bring her food. Some feel trapped by their magic just as she does, but others remind her of her older sibling in the way they embrace their magic, a gift from the Maker. The younger apprentices who aid the mages ask her questions about what lies beyond the walls. The templars mostly keep their distance, but one is friendlier than others. A man with curly blonde hair and a sympathetic view of the mages bothers to speak to her more than his fellows do.

She's still in recovery when Uldred and his blood mages attack the tower, but she survives. Bethany heals, even as she's haunted by nightmares of the ogre wrapping its tainted hand around her body to crush her, flinging her aside to lay among the limp bodies of her family... haunted by the horrors the blood mages unleashed on the tower. She aids in restoring the tower the best she can, and accepts her new home, her new life. When she's well enough, she lights a candle for each of them; her father, mother, her eldest sibling, her twin... she even lights a candle for the family mabari, and prays to the Maker to give them her love as they stand at His side.

The Blight ends. Years pass. Bethany settles into her new life, becoming a fine example for the younger apprentices she mentors. She witnesses wrong doings against her fellow mages, loses friends to their harrowings or tranquility. She accepts what she is, even if bitterly. The Chantry's teachings about magic scar more than enlighten; she sees it in some of her fellow mages, feels it in herself. Secret meetings. Whispers of escape, of freedom. More escape attempts. Harsher restrictions.

Around this time, back in Kirkwall, Knight-Captain Cullen stands where he always does in the Gallows courtyard. He notices Hawke appear with some of their companions. It hurts to think back to Kinloch Hold, but something occurs to him: he knew of another Hawke who was brought to the Circle while he served there. They only spoke once before... well, before. He wonders if there's any relation. When Hawke wanders over to speak to him, as they always do, Cullen brings it up.

Hawke pales. A beat of silence. Cullen recognizes heartbreak; he sees it unfold in their eyes and swell in their throat as they realize that all this time, their baby sister was alive.

Then the day comes where new whispers float among the mages in the Circle. A visit by a Grey Warden. Most, including Bethany, assume he's here to recruit... until Irving comes to her. He says this warden's requested, though more like insisted, he see her now. But then Irving smiles; the warden in question said his name is Warden Carver. He received an urgent letter that his sister is here, alive, and he demands to know if that's true.

Bethany nearly collapses when she sees him.

While the reunion can't last; she can't leave the Circle and he has his calling; the twins embrace, sobbing out apologies and exclamations that they thought the other was gone. Carver tells her of Kirkwall, the expedition that led him to the Grey Wardens, and their older sibling's status as Champion. With a gentleness she never knew her brother to have, he tells her what happened to their mother, and more tears flow freely. Their sibling learned about her from a templar, though Carver grumbles that the bastard could've said something sooner.

There's the Maker's humor again.

...Now flip the script: imagine Carver being left behind instead.

For as strong and passionate as he is, that ogre still picks him up and slams him to the ground. Bones crack. Black splotches flood his vision, agony exploding across his skin. His sword flies from his hand. The soulless bastard tosses Carver aside like he's nothing, and he's left to lay there. His mother's cries muffle in his ear as though he's stuck underwater, sinking slowly into the dark.

It figured, honestly... that he'd survive Ostagar while his fellow soldiers were cut down all around him, that he and his eldest sibling would flee the field when all hope was lost... that he'd make it home to get his family out of Lothering... only to die protecting his mother. And why not? He is a protector. A warrior. It's a honor to die saving those he loved... so why didn't it give him peace?

Carver eventually wakes in the night among the bodies of fallen darkspawn. Everything aches painfully hot and his thoughts reject coherency. He knows his family is gone; they're dead, or they've fled... either way, he's alone; left behind. Something's broken inside of him, but he has just enough will to pull himself up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A group of survivors find him- funny enough, the same group who aided Bethany in an alternate timeline. Imagine that.

That's how Carver ended up in Redcliffe's Chantry with an overworked healer tending to him. He doesn't even flinch when the mage works their magic on him, knowing all too well the sensation of healing magic seeping into his skin, mending the flesh. He tries not to think of Bethany, or what might've happened to her.

The Chantry's overwhelmed with townspeople hiding from a danger outside that he can only assume is darkspawn... except it's not. He wonders how hard he hit his head when he hears the undead have come from the castle to slaughter what they can of the town every night. But then he sees it with his own eyes when one breaks in, taken down by a templar, and never before has he ever felt so useless.

Then the last two remaining Grey Wardens arrive. They're crucial in the final fight against the undead, swearing to enter the castle to stop the attacks at the source. While Carver couldn't participate in the final fight, something he complained loudly about, he did what he could in his condition to help like sharpening swords and handing out supplies. Mostly to keep his sanity and quite his thoughts throughout his recovery.

When the time came, he took up his sword again in the name of all those he lost.

An archdemon was said to be on the horizon, and the Grey Wardens needed everyone they could get to fight. Carver fights in the battle of Denerim where the Hero of Fereldan defeated the archdemon. He cuts his way through every darkspawn he sees. Ostagar flashes red behind his eyes. Lothering clutches at his heart. So much anger and sorrow built up inside him, flooding out in his tears and screams. Blood everywhere. Fire and smoke.

Then it's over.

In the aftermath of the Blight, like so many others, Carver has no home to return to. No family. He thinks to go back to Lothering to help rebuild, only to hear the lands were too tainted. These tainted creatures took everything from him... That's what eventually brings him to Vigil's Keep, standing before the Hero of Fereldan themself, asking to be made a Grey Warden. He already dedicated nearly two years of his life to killing darkspawn, and he had nothing else. Even when faced with the Joining, holding the chalice of darkspawn blood and being told to drink, he didn't flinch.

Life as a Grey Warden isn't as simple as he assumed it would be, but Carver finds purpose in his calling. Over the years, he grows to view his fellow wardens as family. He travels all over Thedas, venturing down into the Deep Roads to help clear out hoards of the darkspawn. But then comes the day he finds himself in Kirkwall, and it doesn't take long before he hears the name Hawke on the lips of the townspeople. His eldest sibling was not only alive, but they're quite popular among the people. But what about Mother? Bethany? He doesn't have to snoop too far to learn templars took Bethany away to the Gallows, and that Leandra Hawke was the final victim in a string of murders committed by a blood mage.

Carver finds himself standing outside the estate, glaring at the door. Furious. Heartbroken. Bitter. He wants to scream. This entire time, they lived. He's torn between wanting to reunite with his older sibling again, to get the truth from them, and wanting to barge into the estate, demanding answers to how they could let the Circle take Bethany... after what Carver sacrificed, how could they let Mother die like that? Was it all pointless in the end?

He leaves without knocking. He can't bring himself to see them. Not that it mattered. Before he could leave Kirkwall, the tensions with the qunari finally overflowed, and chaos fell upon the city. He's forced face to face with his older sibling again, but he wasn't prepared to watch the recognition slowly bloom on their face, or for all his anger to turn to mush. Carver's the first to speak.

"Somehow, I knew it would be you."

.............So, yeah. I really like this idea.

[ghostdrinkssoup]

moriarty and sherlock are criminal x investigator written by straight people and hannibal and will are criminal x investigator written by gay people hope that helps

[ghostprincessworld]

Headcanon that at some point, when they are like 27/28 Gauntwood goes on like a 1 month "vacation" without any of the staff. It will be nice to be truly alone together. They rent a cabin that is a bit isolated, not to far form markets and such.

However, they forgot to account for the fact that they don't know how to take care of themselves:

Day 1&2

Going alright, they brought a few meals with them. 

they are free to love each other openly in this private place, this place is beautiful and they love it!

except when they go to bed, they note that the bed had not been made that morning. This is never properly resolved. There are a few attempts to make it, but they resign themselves to a poorly made (mostly an unmade) bed

Day 3

Prepared meals are gone. they go to the market, They have a fun time.

Sidney has no doubts they can figure it out, Henry is like, "Have you ever cooked a chicken before?"Well, no, but I used to watch my mum do it when I was a kid," Henry has absolute faith in his husband because he's an idiot 

“So we just put it in the oven? The chicken and the veggies?" "Yeah that's how my mum did it!" (They are making roast potatoes, carrots, and chicken)

they didn't use any seasonings, butter, or oil, the chicken is overcooked, so dry and plain. The potatoes and carrots are too hard and burnt at the same time. 

"Sidney, I love you, but this is disgusting."

“No, you're right. If you stop loving me, I'll understand." 

they end up picking through it just eating the least inedible parts it's not a lot, and they eat a lot packaged snacks that night

Day 5 

Henry has a brilliant (terrible) idea, he's going to make them breakfast, eggs, and lamb sausage.

Sidney comes into the kitchen when there is smoke everywhere

they put out the smoke, and the (unseasoned) eggs are burnt to the pan.

"WHAT is going on!!!" "I was uhh... making breakfast..."Why did you cook it so long?" "Excuse me, I didn't want us to get salmonella!"

For dinner, they plan to make pasta. Together, this is going to be a team effort. Henry immediately puts the dry noodles in a pot and no water, Sidney stops him.

They call Maud, and she laughs at her useless brother and his husband but agrees to help

"Okay now you'll wanna add any veggies to the sauce" "veggies...?i didn't get any" "okay skip that, just add your seasonings" "seasonings?" "Okay... it gonna be a bit plain"

"Why are all noodles sticking together weird?" "Did you salt the water like I said?" "Oh..."

S: what if we heat the water up twice as hot , then we can cook the noodles half the time 

H: No, it will probably burn them

M: idiots you can't heat water past boiling

Pasta is plain, but edible

Other cooking mishaps:

Pasta take 2: no veggies again, goes way to hard on the seasonings, add like every single one, there is cinnamon in the pasta

Henry makes eggs(unseasoned) bacon and toast (only a little burnt)

"Henry, I love you so much, and this is so sweet, but I don't eat pork"

"Oh god! I knew that! The butcher was just looking at me, and I panicked. " Henry is about to cry

Sidney spends way too long slicing (mutilating) a loaf of bread with a meat knife

Cleaning

By day 3 all of their clothes are wrinkled because they don't know how to iron and they didn't pack them well

It fine they are mostly being seen by just each other, but it makes them feel icky

At the market a woman is looking at henry, and he get insecure and just tells her unprompted that his wife is too sick to iron

By 2 weeks in they have no clean clothes

S: What if we just sent it all to the dry cleaner

H: You wanna send our underwear to the dry cleaners? No we are supposed to be learning this, we are living a simple life

S: What if we were just naked from now on

Back on the phone with Maud, they learn how to wash clothes. They have pasta stained clothes they can't fix. Clothes are wearable again, still wrinkly :(

They wash no dishes for the first 4 days, it's a terrible mess. It takes 15 min to scrub the burnt pan because they didn't realise they can soak the bad dishes

The whole place is a bit dusty by the end

Fun stuff

There is a lake on the property and they go skinny dipping

They fish (and successfully cook it over a fire)

Stargaze: “hey did you that constellation [insert greek info dump]” nerd

Ellwood convinces Gaunt to dance with him

They play card games

They get to be domestic without any prying eyes

Overall, they had a great time! They picked up some novice-level skills along the way and, despite the chaos, they’d be willing to try this again in the future (and they do). When they get back they are this close to kissing Luis on the mouth.

[yardsards]

mostly joking toh theory: amity and emira are both trans girls, and the fact that they got to choose their names themselves is the only reason why neither of them ended up getting named "odalia jr."

[h-doodles]

truly not sorry but once again thinking abt miranda/mc/mia in RL. i need them SO bad. like, 2 of the most morally unsound persons (Mia & Miranda) + their little meow meow. Knowing both are so possessive and destructive (TO OTHERS) when they love and instead of running, fully embracing the chaos of it. Loving them despite their delusions of grandeur, the crimes, the secrets, and the deaths (+ undeaths) caused (or ordered!) by their hands. Acknowledging this is fucked up but you can't help it. Lovingly bitching abt their fights but fully done and gone to do anything else but to soothe and continue loving them, because after all those years of waiting and doing and redoing everything to be perfect was worth it for this.

also did i mention being their little meow meow. sorry Miranda, MC was the original gremlin in the relationship and Mia being the fucked up feral racoon she is now is not solely by her doing, MC was and IS the enabler in both relationships that it bled over sm and OUGHJJJJJHHHHhhhh im being so emo abt three (3) women being utter menaces frfr

[crabussy]

MULTIPLE people thought I was australian on that poll.... head in hands