#i thought you knew i was a lit and psych major and then went on to graduate school for psych

[jeanmoreaux]

wait you have a masters in psych?….. tell me more

i do!! finished my degree last semester! idk what more to tell you jfjdjdjdj errrrr i specialised in neuropsychology BUT also dabbled in other stuff like clinical psychology & some organisational psychology. rn i am trying to figure out my next steps. there are so many options that interest me; i’d love to go into teaching (and maybe doing a second master’s degree) but i can also see myself doing a master of advanced studies or maaaybe a doctorate (most unrealistic option tho). even changing fields is in the cards. idk idk even with a degree i am STILL just kind of trying to figure out what comes next for me it literally never stops djjdjdjdjdj

[jarofstyles]

Crush

A/N: this one.... biiiitch.... giving you all a little college!harry, he’s so cute 👉🏼👈🏼 enjoy hehe 😈 - n + d

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masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: smut. FILTH. 

word count: 9.7k

Harry felt a bit creepy. 

It wasn’t as if it was on purpose! No... but she was at all of the places he went. At first he had thought it was a coincidence, but as he developed a routine for his classes, he found that they were often around each other for similar reasons. And usually? He would try and go up, introduce himself, and make a friend. The problem was... she was pretty. 

Not like normal pretty. Pretty as in, holy fuck you make me so nervous and perhaps I’ll word vomit, pretty. He was shit at making the first move. She was in his Monday and Friday classes and sat not far from him, he noticed. And they always ended up at the Coffee Bean on Tuesday and Thursdays, sitting not too far from one another again. She got tea with a few cookies, and he got a black coffee and an orange scone. They’d work on their coursework and Harry would wait for her to leave and see her make it to her car before he would leave, not wanting to make it seem like he was following her. He’s found out her name through friends stopping in to see her. It was Y/N. Gorgeous, just like her.

Funny enough, Harry wasn’t the only one who had a bit of a crush. Y/N realized in the second week of classes that Harry was in fact one of the most intimidatingly cool and attractive men she’d ever seen. College boys weren’t supposed to look like that, but he was all soft in his sweaters and baggy pants. She wasn’t sure how he pulled it off so well, but she could admit she was jealous. 

Seeing him at the Coffee bean was a relief because well, he walked in after her every time. She assumed it was because he had a class that ended later or something, but it didn’t go unnoticed that  he was there. Usually it wasn’t too busy or loud so she could glance at him from the corner of her eye as they sat at one of the big tables. She felt like it would be too weird to talk to him, he seemed so... quiet. She’d never heard him speak, hell, she’d only ever locked eyes with him for milliseconds. Y/N wished she could be one of those girls that could effortlessly flirt, ask for a pencil or something, but she knew she’d freeze up and forget her rehearsed line. 

Today however, when Y/N arrived, Harry was already there at his usual spot. Okay, Y/N... act natural. She thought to herself, going to order her usual before walking to boldly take a seat across from him. It would have worked out fine if her tote bag didn’t accidentally catch the corner of one of his books, sending things flying. 

“Shit— sorry, I—” Y/N swore, setting her bag on the table before bending down to get the book and a few papers and a pen. Real smooth.

Harry was slightly startled when his shit went flying, but when he saw who had knocked it over, his heart picked up. Oh, shit. 

“Oh— it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Harry’s voice was a bit gruff from not using it much today, pushing his chair back and bending down to grab the stuff with her. “S’my fault for putting it so close to the edge. I used to do that at home and my cat would knock it all off.” 

Great. Already rambling. 

Y/N didn’t register it at first, but he was british? Fuck. If she wasn’t already on her knees she would dropped down anyway, biting her lip to stop any noises that could have escaped. She giggled when he said his cat used to knock things over, “mine too.” She mumbled and went to stand up, feeling a tug at her arm. 

“Ah, shit.” Harry had caught his ring in her sweater, pulling one of the threads. “Damn, I’m so sorry.” He blushed slightly, knowing how annoying it was to have a pulled thread. His collection of sweaters was immense, thanks to his nan— and he felt terrible. Damn his chunky things. “They always get caught in mine too but I wear them anyways. I can replace the sweater, if you need.” Damn it. He was trying to come off as smooth... not so nervous. But he was. She was so pretty and she was up close, she smelled like peaches and vanilla and a bit of sweet mint and her hands were so soft.

“Oh no, It’s fine! it’s old anyway— I can just cut it off or tuck it in or something.” Honestly, Y/N would figure it out. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel bad, it was an accident after all. She let him untangle it, holding her hand still though it seemed like he needed some help. “Smaller fingers...” She mumbled, using her nails to get the thread gently off of the ring. “‘s a nice ring.” Y/N complimented, finally meeting his eyes and feeling the breath leave her lungs at the close proximity. Her lips parted naturally, scanning his face for any signs of discomfort.

She was beautiful Harry though he may get sick because wow. Wow. He had imagined holding her hand and kissing her but this exact moment he hadn’t a clue on what to do. So he improvised. 

“Are you in the 8 am psych class on Mondays?” He tilted his head. “I know I’ve seen you before.” Oh, he had seen her a lot. Especially in his dreams, day and night. It had been a bit intoxicating, really. At her nod, his grin came on his face. “Sick. S’that what you’re gonna study for?” He didn’t bring up the other class because... it would be embarrassing if she hadn’t noticed him before and he knew all too much. He needed a refill of his coffee though so he grabbed his cup, gently taking her things and placing them on the table next to his. “At least let me buy your stuff though. I feel awful about your sweater.”

“I’m actually just waiting on them to finish making mine, I was on my way to secure a spot but—” Y/N blushed, realizing the mess she had made. “Could you get it for me while you’re up there? It’s for Y/N. I can sit here and watch your stuff.” She felt like that was a subtle way for her to tell him her name. 

This was the most she had ever spoken to him and it had been about a month or so that she’d been eyeing him up. She knew he was in her English literature class as well, but psych was her major. Y/N wondered if maybe he too was a psych major, maybe that’s why they sort of had the same schedule? Regardless, she felt a bit nervous making conversation so she spent the time he was away coming up with what she was going to ask him and how she was going to keep the ball rolling. Hopefully she didn’t interrupt his studying, if anything she’d leave him alone.

“Y/N?” He tested it on his tongue out loud for the first time. It tasted good. “Yeah. M’Harry. I’ll be back.” He nodded, going towards the front. His heart going a mile a minute, he couldn’t believe how quickly his luck had changed. He ordered an extra cake pop today, for her. she had said it didn’t matter but to him, it did. Eventually he hoped he could buy her a replacement. Or... maybe she could wear his around. Wow. That would stroke his ego and his fragile heart to the core. He could already see her on his lavender fishermen’s sweater, in front of his fireplace back at home. She would be so cute. The voice calling her name snapped him out of the fantasy, Harry grabbing it and then his own shortly after before returning to the table. “Here. I got the last cake pop for you. Don’t tell anyone I’m the offender.”

“Ooo you’re a dead man if they find out.” Y/N said, looking around before gently taking it from him. “Thank you... that’s sweet.” She blushed, taking a bite of it before taking a sip of her chai latte. Now that she had stuff to fiddle around with she could take a breather and not have to worry about filling space. “But um.. did interrupt something? Don’t want to distract you...” Y/N nodded over to his laptop, secretly hoping that he wasn’t up to much so that she could chat to him. She just wanted to know the basics, literally anything would satisfy her craving. Harry was quite literally her wet dream, she’d been looking all around campus for someone like him to come around. “I uh... I think I’m also in your English lit class? I feel like I see you around often.” Y/N spoke, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. “What’s your major?” She felt like this conversation was light, something that would eventually lead into other things like... if he was single and looking for a girlfriend.

“Oh, you’re not bugging me. I’ve kind of been staring at the screen and zoning out if m’honest.” Harry chuckled, embarrassed a little to admit it. But everyone could relate to that, right? “And yeah... actually I think so.” He smiled lightly before taking a sip of his drink. Victory! She had noticed him too. He wasn’t the lonely creep who stared at the first who had no idea who he was. She knew who he was, kind of. He gently drew his sweater over his hands like little paws before going to her question. “English. I want to write and stuff, edit maybe. My dad has a publishing company so, I’m lucky I like a bit of the family business.” He tried to joke, looking at her. God. It was unnerving how beautiful and also, how fucking comfortable she was to be around. What a contrast. “And you? What major?” He took a nibble of his scone, not wanting to make a mess.

English? He’s a writer? Goodness. She was going to lose it. 

“That’s cool, any specific genre you like to write?” Y/N asked curiously because well, it would actually tell her a lot about him and the kind of person he was. “I picture some mystery or possibly poetry, could go either way.” She said and squinted her eyes as she looked at him, pretending to size him up. “I can’t say I’m all that interesting, a psych major. Just like every other artsy person who doesn’t exactly want to commit to an art degree.” Y/N chuckled, “still deciding between criminal justice or counseling but... either way I’d be happy to get to pick someone’s brain. She did have the habit of analyzing people but only so she could understand them better. Y/N knew that all people wanted at the core was to be understood and loved for who they are, for the most part. Harry seemed reserved, calm and relaxed, secure in himself that’s for sure. It was extremely attractive.

“Oh? That’s really cool though.” Harry was genuinely interested in what she had to say either way. The major didn’t matter in his interest in her but it gave him information and something to talk about. If she was marketing or math he would be just as interested. “Criminal seems particularly interesting. Like that criminal minds show then? You’ll learn how they work and all of that?” He didn’t really know what it meant or why she had chosen it. “But close. I write romance novels.” He blushed fully. “Don’t judge me for it. But s’easy for me and I’m good at it, or so I’ve been told. I’ve been writing for a while.” He felt himself loosen up as they talked. Even if she intimidated him, she was really nice and sweet. “Poetry too, lots of it. But romance is my main thing, I’d like to do novels and that sort of stuff.” He could see she didn’t think it was lame, rather interesting. Which was a major relief. He wanted to impress her, so so badly.

“Sorta, yeah. Like... being able to predict a criminal's next move, psychologically.” Y/N explained and shrugged, “feel like it’s really fun and interesting but terrifying all at once. Dunno if I could actually interview a criminal without feeling like it was going to cry.” She let out a laugh, knowing she was quite soft. Her face lit up when he said he wrote romance novels. Wow. Well, as if he wasn’t a character right out of a romcom himself! She felt like that’s what this was. A romcom. Bumping into him at a coffee shop like a scene straight from one. “Really?! So you’re a proper romantic then? Buy the last cake pop for every girl, hmm?” She gave him a bashful smile. The very last thing she was doing was judge, she was more so thinking about their wedding. Yep. Already. Daydreaming because she swore she’d hit the jackpot. Wasn’t even sure if he liked her yet, but she was hopeful. After all, she’d turned on her charm.

“I guess I am.” Harry smirked to himself slightly at the good reception. Damn. He had been so worried and hesitant- he should have just talked to her. She wasn’t... that scary. Only a little bit. 

He let her talk a bit more about her degree and Harry went on to speak about his favorite authors, and then the conversation shifted towards their classes and how he had been struggling slightly in psych— which led to her offering to help. Harry was shocked because honestly he hadn’t expected it from her, but he was pleased. He was happy to have an excuse to hang out with her more. See more of her and be able to teach himself to relax properly around her. He felt like a damn wind up toy, giddy and excited. 

“That would be so helpful, if you could. And if you don’t mind.” He stressed. “I have a place off campus, if you’d want to go there? I’ll buy you some pizza or something for your help.” He was a giver and if it meant getting a $20 pizza for her because he wanted good quality, then he would!

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Y/N was practically jumping up and down with joy in her mind, this was a turn of events. She went from secretly crushing on him to being invited over his house in only a few hours. “I can never say no to pizza, but it’s really no problem. They say if you can teach it to someone else then you truly understand it so it’ll be a good test for me. Y/N also knew that they wouldn’t just study. Come on. It was a Friday night and study was practically code for hook up, especially considering he had invited her to his place and not the library. She had to prepare, had to make sure she looked cute and everything. She’d shower before hand too, the whole nine. “I can be there around 6?” Y/N suggested, checking her calendar app even though she already knew when she could come. She had to at least look like she wasn’t jumping at the idea.

“That’s cool. Uh— here, if you want I can put my number in your phone and whenever you want I can text you the address?” Oh, fuck. How, how the tables have turned. He had gone from wistfully staring at her every day to having a scheduled study session with her, the girl he’d been practically having wet dreams about. Having a full conversation and then her having his number! He was giddy and playing with the sleeves of his sweater as a result of the excited nerves. “Do you have any allergies? I do have a kitten at home.” He wanted to make sure he wouldn’t have to put Marie away. He loved his baby but he wanted to try something and see if she would be cool with him in a private setting. It would be less hard to talk about deeper things without people around. He took her phone from her and typed in his number, adding his name with a little  📚 after it. That wasn’t too much, right?

“Aw you do! I have one too, well... he thinks he’s a big boy.” Y/N shook her head at the thought of her sweet little Milo. Despite not doing anything she planned to do at the coffee shop, it still felt like a productive day in her eyes. Finally getting to chat with Harry felt like a breath of fresh air and he wasn’t all that scary now that she got to chatting with him. She took her phone back and smiled at the cute little emoji, sending him a text to let him know it was her before hesitantly getting up. “Alright well, I gotta get back to my kitten... but, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Y/N smiled, watching him stand up as well. The two of them walked out of the coffee shop and to their cars, Y/N being bold enough to give him a hug before opening her car door. “Night!” She was surprised with herself. Y/N was proud, completely over the moon and honestly she wasn’t sure how she was going to sleep tonight.

-----

Harry laid out on the bed that night with Marie on his chest. He had told her all about how the pretty Y/N had met him and that she would be coming over. The pretty cat was a long haired white kitty, and she purred along with Harry as he spoke. She liked hearing Harry be happy. It made him want to squeak when he heard his phone buzz and a little text from her popped up— he saved her as ‘Y/N 🌼’ because he felt like it fit. Part of him wanted to put a heart but he would be mortified if she saw and thought it was weird. She wore a yellow flower shirt one day so he figured that’s what he could excuse it as. 

‘Hey, happy to hear from you! :) I hope your kitty is doing well. I meant to ask, you aren’t vegetarian are you?’

Y/N smiled at his text and attached a photo of her gray kitten laying across the top of her head while she laid down. 

‘Yes, he’s quite cozy.’

‘I am actually! But I’m not too fussy.’ 

She couldn’t help it, she loved animals and she couldn’t bring herself to do it anymore. Occasionally, she would indulge in a chicken nugget or seafood, but for the most part she didn’t feel like she had to. 

‘I’m going to get some sleep though, Good night Harry 💓’

That wasn’t too much was it? It was just a heart! She sent them to everyone. Y/N stayed up for a good ten minutes just digesting the day. Tomorrow would be even better, she had a feeling.

——

Harry was... well, he wasn’t sure how to describe the emotion. When Niall inevitably quizzed him on why he was acting strange, the best he had come up with was a mix of nerves and giddiness, also terror and extreme happiness. He was going to hang out with the girl he had been silently crushing on— and they had been texting quite frequently in the short time they had each other’s numbers. Was this going to be a regular thing? Was it going to blossom into more? He knew that he had wasted time before, not talking to her. She wasn’t scary! No... she was so sweet and kind and beautiful and everything she said made him a literal heart eye emoji. She had taken to sending him random photos, even so quickly in and it felt comfortable. He had even sent her a shot of Marie on the counter this morning, on top of his school notes. It was odd. The excitement he felt when he heard the bing from his phone of the vibration in his pocket... it was incredible. He liked this feeling. Damn it. This was such a new thing. He wanted to do more. 

He saw her in class, watching as she crept in a bit after the last call should be with a sheepish smile on her face. He waved to her silently and watched her climb up, his heart beating quicker when she chose a seat closer to his than before. She wanted to sit near him? He clutched the rainbow patchwork sweater by the sleeves and fiddled with the cuffs, nerves and excitement swirling in his tummy.

If class wasn’t already on, Y/N knew she would have tried to spark up some conversation with Harry, but for now all she could manage was passing him a note. 

‘I like your cardigan :)’

It was really cute. Most of Harry’s wardrobe was and in her dream world she already stole a few to wear. English literature wasn’t exactly the most exciting class, but Harry seemed invested. Y/N enjoyed watching him focus and take notes while she mostly doodled some random flowers and bears in her notebook. Her mind was thinking about what she was going to wear to his house and how she definitely needed a shower before and that she had to put on the lotion that matched her perfume. Was she overthinking this? Maybe. Of course it was just a study date, but you could never be too sure where things could go. And if they did— she wanted to be ready.

He knew that he needed to contain himself but his smile made it hard. She liked his cardigan. The random compliment had him feeling mushy and happy and there was definitely a blush on his cheeks as he clicked his pen and wrote back to her. 

‘Thanks :) my nan knitted it for me. I like your little head band.’ 

He passed it back before opening his notebook back up. Her stare could be felt and he wanted to smirk a little at it because, well, who wouldn’t? She was so great, and he wanted to experience more of her but he was trying to not rush shit. He was a romance writer after all. All of it felt so in tune with his own wants and he had a hard time believing it was real. Sweet little Y/N wanted to hang out with him and she complimented his cardigan!

‘Awe!! That’s cute and thank youuuu 🥰’ 

She drew him a little smiley face with hearts around it, felt like it was very on brand for her and her emotive texting. Y/N felt all giddy because she had made a new friend but she was really hoping they wouldn’t just be friends. 

Y/N knew she was hard to read because she was generally nice to everyone and honestly, Harry seemed to be the same way. She could only assume he liked her because he asked her to hang out so quickly. And he’d bought her a cake pop and was planning on buying pizza tonight. Was it a date then? Gosh, she needed to stop reading into it. Her leg kept bouncing up and down, mind trying to refocus and thankfully, their professor was discussing something she too had noticed in her reading. She still managed to steal quick glances at Harry for the rest of the class, giving him shy little smiles. It wasn’t till class ended that she ended up speaking to him, but even that was quick. She needed to get home and get ready.

Harry had gotten a quick hi, and a ‘see you tonight!’ With her hand brushing his arm before she skipped off to.. wherever she went. And that had him nearly sprinting home. Cleaning top to bottom, vacuum, scrub, vacuum again. Changed his sheets— why, he wasn’t sure— put his laundry in the basket, filled up Marie’s food and water, fluffed the pillows, cleaned the windows and coffee table... he did it all. Even cleaned out the fridge! Like she would care? Harry didn’t know. All he did know was that he was finally showered and smelled nice, hair fixed and the pumpkin patch candle was lit! The tv was on low because he was nervous and needed some filler noise to keep himself from overthinking.

Y/N was doing the same, not cleaning her apartment but cleaning herself. She stripped out of her clothes when she got home and immediately got into the shower, taking one of those full maintenance ones for good measure. Once she was positive she was squeaky clean and smelled nice, she jumped out to take the next steps. God, she really wanted to impress him. He’d been her crush for a while and she needed this. She wanted to look like she didn’t put in my effort when she did so she decided to put on some light makeup and chose an outfit that was more laid back. Usually, she was seen wearing sweaters and jeans, nothing too fancy, so that’s exactly what she settled on. Y/N wanted to look warm and inviting. 

Milo mewed beneath her feet as she collected all her study supplies, rubbing against her ankles in need of attention. “I’m sorry bubs, I know I didn’t get to spend lots of time with you today but don’t be too mad.” Y/N pouted, picking him up and giving him a cuddle for a few minutes. She held him up to her chest as she finished up, deciding she needed to leave now.

‘Leaving now, be there in 20 ✨’

She sent, hopping into her car with nerves bubbling up in her stomach. God, she really hoped tonight went well.

——

When Harry heard the knock at the door he shot up, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants before forcing himself to be slow, walking to the door. And when he opened it, it really did feel like being hit in the gut. Seeing someone so beautiful, so up close? It got to him. He had to admit that. Y/N has this natural beauty that he drooled over. That felt like a hit. Every time he saw her he swore she got more beautiful. 

“Hi.” He spoke with a smile, opening the door up for her. “Come inside. Marie is wandering around so I have to close the door. A little escape artist, she is.” He joked, letting her scurry in and close the door behind her.

“Hey! Oop— okay!” Y/N giggled and stepped past him into his apartment. It was very cute and very tidy. Y/N felt a little flutter in her belly, it was freshly cleaned. She stepped out of her shoes before further examining the decor. The style was something she very much expected for Harry, it was cozy and artsy. Lots of earth tones and that sweet autumn smell coming from the candle made her feel that much more excited. “It’s so nice in here! I love the pillows.” Y/N complimented, liking how some were fluffy and some had funky patterns on them. It was then that she heard a meow from below, Marie sniffing at her sock covered toes. “Oh hi there... sorry if you can smell Milo on me, gave me lots of snuggles before I left.” Y/N cooed down to the kitten, dropping down so she was closer to the ground and extended her hand for her to sniff and get used to. 

Y/N realized this was very real now, especially because he had gone out of his way to make his place look nice. Most guys wouldn’t care, but maybe Harry did this for everyone. When she stood back up and turned to face him, she got a whiff of him and noticed his semi damp hair. He showered too. Oh—

Harry smiled at her and Marie, happy his kitten seemed to like her. Usually she would sniff his friends and run off but she began to weave over her legs and beg for pets. He was in awe. Christ. She had him by the balls already. 

“Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got diet soda... apple juice, lots of teas. And water.” He hummed, going into the kitchen with her behind him. It was an open concept though, the kitchen the first thing near the door and it opened into a large living area, the hall down going to the master bedroom. It was simple but perfect for him in college. He gave her a moment to think it over as he looked at her. So cozy and... cuddly. He wanted to slide his hands under her sweater and feel her warm skin and nuzzle into the crook of her neck, let her fingers play through his hair.

“Apple juice sounds good.” Y/N smiled, having picked up Marie at this point to carry her into the kitchen with them. She had a feeling she’d get along just great with Milo if they ever got to meet. “You’re a sweet little thing, aren’t you?” Y/N cooed at the kitten, seeing her comfortably settled against her. “Does your Daddy spoil you with snuggles too?” She asked toying with her little paw before looking up at Harry with a smile. He had fumbled a bit with the lid of the juice at her words which made her giggle, “How are you? How was your day today?” Y/N was genuinely curious, deciding to make some small talk before actually sitting down. In her head she could already imagine the two of them hanging out here constantly, tangled up in one another, kissing and laughing and doing all the cute things that Harry likely wrote about in his stories.

“I’m— im good.” Harry’s mouth was dry. He knew that she hadn’t meant anything by it, but he heard her say ‘daddy’ in reference to him, and his stupid cock had jumped, tummy felt hot. Damn it. He wished he wasn’t so deprived but... she had been at the forefront of his mind. “It was a good day. I was happy to talk to you. You’re fun to talk to.” He meant it too. She was so interesting and funny and he was completely whipped and okay with it. Damn. He wished he had maybe a bit more restraint with his imagination but he didn’t. Not at all. “I have a harder time meeting people... i can be a little shy sometimes. I’m in my own head a lot you know? I have my core group of friends but... it’s hard to get to know people. I want to know them.” Her. That translates to her.

“Yeah?” Y/N felt her heart jump. He was happy to speak with her even just a little bit? He wanted to talk to her and get to know her? It wasn’t just a one sided thing. They were both making an effort in their own way and she was thinking someone had to break the tension. “I’m happy you think so.” Y/N blushed, “I um... I also like talking to you.” She had her little friend group as well but she never thought she’d actually end up being friends with Harry. Listening to him explain how reserved he was definitely made her feel special though. He chose to open up to her, she was special enough for that and that made her cheeks grow warm once again. “I’ll tell you just about anything you want to know.” Y/N smiled, hesitantly placing Marie down before taking a few steps closer to him to get her glass of apple juice.

“Ooooh, a little daunting. Anything? Your social security number?” Harry was joking. Trying to clear the air and make her relax because she was a bit shy too and he wanted her to be comfortable here. This place should be a good spot for her. He motioned for her to come sit on the couch with him, Marie trailing after Y/N. Little traitor had a new favorite already but... he couldn’t say he could blame her. “I dunno... it’s hard sometimes, in this age to make genuine friendships. Feels like everyone’s already got their friend groups and you don’t want to infringe upon them yeah? And... I write a lot. I’m not a partier. Not to sound cliche but again.... I’m a writer.” He chuckled.

“I said just about!” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head to herself at his joke. She felt like she was an open book, she was pretty open with the things she liked and generally she aimed to spread positivity and love where she could. Her hobbies included lots of things, music, knitting, reading, gardening. That kind of stuff. “But yeah, I get that... I’ve been pretty content with my group of friends, though I think most people are open to making new ones. At least I am... I am a bit shy though.” Y/N took a sip of her apple juice before setting it down on the coffee table again. “Yeah, you said. Romance novels.” She smiled and leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable. “What sorts of romance novels?” What? Could you blame her for wanting to know what sort of content was in them? Maybe it could give her some insight on what he wanted.

“Oooooh. Hard hitting stuff.” Harry huffed out playfully. “I’m... it’s a variety, I think. I’ve done supernatural, classic tropes, historical romance was very fun. I am partial to enemies to lovers or forbidden romances though. They’re the most fun to write.” Y/N genuinely looked like she cared so he continued. “I’ve been trying out different stuff but....” he blushed again. “I’m... looking at erotica right now.” It wasn’t something he usually would blurt out but hey, she seemed trustworthy. Plus she didn’t seem like she would judge either. It was a new favorite of his. The rawness of it and writing sex scenes... it was amazing. Reading it, writing it, he thought he could do some on the side and sell it under a pen name. It would be a fun thing to try.

Erotica. This man sat down and wrote detailed sex scenes, likely kinky, for fun? Thankfully she didn’t have any juice in her mouth because it surely would have been spat out. 

“H-how are you finding it?” She asked, reaching for her apple juice because she felt like she couldn’t sit still now. How else was she supposed to go about things when all she could think about was sex. Sex with him specifically. Y/N wasn’t blind, she knew that Harry was very attractive and very much gifted with beautiful hands. She could only assume he would have a wonderful cock as well. She knew there was no way someone so quite couldn’t have the filthiest of minds, she knew hers was. Her fantasies were where she roamed free.  

“I mean... I do like it a lot, actually. I hope that doesn’t come across as creepy or pervy but I like to be able to write something like that. It’s freeing, in a sense.” Harry couldn’t really properly describe why but, he was a kinky dude. You’d never think it. He was soft and wore sweaters a lot and drank tea at home from a kitty mug but he was.... a kinky fucker. And he loved sex. There was just something about it. He wanted to try more and more of it but he had a tendency to get attached to his partners, even hook ups... so he had put that on a hault. 

“I’d like to read some...” Y/N felt like at some point, she’d want to read his writing. If he felt comfortable now she didn’t mind. It was just writing, wasn’t it? 

“You want to?” She looked at him with bright eyes and her a fast nod so Harry decided to say, fuck it. If they were going to work as friends... or lovers, which is what Harry really wanted... she would need to accept this side. He grabbed his laptop and boosted it on, letting himself grab the latest completed scene. “Here. You can read this, i'll order the pizza.” There were obvious nerves in his belly from letting her read filthy smut from his computer but Y/N... she was different. He couldn’t put his finger on why, but she was.

They were meant to be studying. 

That was long forgotten though as Y/N nodded and got comfortable on the couch with his laptop sat in her lap. It felt a bit taboo, but she figured she could separate the writer from the story. 

The scene was from a male character’s perspective, describing him having a long and hard day at work where all he could think about was his partner. Y/N felt her face get progressively warmer as the character spoke about his partner, she couldn’t help but imagine this was how Harry was when he was horny and needy. 

Y/N knew that if she was his, she would certainly brighten up his mood after a tough day at work. Seeing her own name in the document however proved that Harry thought the same. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head, her eyes lifting from the screen to look up at him as he ordered the pizza completely unaware of her discovery. 

This is what he imagined? This is what he wanted to do.... with her?

Harry ordered two cheese pizzas and some cinnamon dessert thing because there was a a special going on. He had thought about getting more but he didn’t want to go overboard with it, so he finished the order. Thank god for online ordering.

“Okay... it’ll be here in 25 minutes I think.” He hummed, looking up and freezing slightly. She looked blushy and her eyes wide as she read the post and he wondered why she looked a bit startled. “Hey... y’alright love?” He asked quietly. God damn it. Had he freaked her out too much? Was it just too much in general for the first time they properly hung out? He couldn’t remember exactly what scene he had pulled up. Just that it was recent, a billionaire type of thing.

Y/N casually moved the laptop on to the coffee table without answering his question. She didn’t think twice before she climbed on to his lap, hands settling on his shoulders. Sure, it was a risky move, but after what she’d read? She felt like she had to make her move. She wanted to be just as hot and sexy as he had imagined her to be. Harry’s shocked expression made her smile, hand going up to cup his cheek. 

“You left my name in the document...” Y/N’s voice spoke low and slow, thumb brushing over his now parted lips. Never did she think she could be so bold so soon, but fuck did it feel good. She felt so powerful, so sexy, and so so horny. “Thought about me riding your cock so much you wrote about it?” Y/N whispered, leaning in to kiss the skin just below his ear before nibbling at the skin. “Noticed me before we properly met... thought about me... is this what you wanted, baby?”

Harry blanked. 

Oh. fuck.

He hadn’t expected her to climb into his lap. Climbing on and straddling him, cupping his cheek, talking in that hot little voice that had his cock filling a bit. Holy fucking shit. 

“Oh—” He was cut off by her thumb over her lip. She was into it, into him. How had this happened? He had to be dreaming. But... no. Her heat was too real to be a dream. Her eyes too clear and dark, her smell too real. It was real. “Y-yeah...” He whispered, gasping when she kissed his skin, hand grabbing her waist. Oh, hell. Under his pants, his cock was quickly hardening. You couldn’t blame him, his dream woman, his crush, was straddling his lap and kissing his neck. Talking like this. 

“Thought about it ‘lots.” He muttered. She was so bold for this and that was something he found so sexy. When her teeth scraped his skin and bit down a bit harder, a dark groan left his mouth, hand on her waist tightening. “Holy shit... Y/N.”

“Hmm... feels good?” Y/N questioned, licking over the spot that she bit before moving to a new one. “Think I can make you cum in 25 minutes?” Y/N felt like she could take on the challenge, his cock was already hardening beneath her and she was a bit of foreplay away from being completely soaked. “Wanna try all of it, yeah?” Y/N muttered, nipping at the spot just where his jawline met his neck. “Riding your cock.... you bending me over, can choke me too. Please do...” She moaned at the thought, her hormones completely taking over. He still seemed to be frozen, despite his hand now on her waist so she moved her hips forward a little bit and tugged at his hair. “Wanna make you feel good.” 

Y/N had a kink for giving but it seemed Harry did as well. She expected a needy hook up, rough touches, quickness, pure lust. It’s exactly what she needed. It’s been a while since she’d hooked up with anyone and she was desperate for Harry to break her dry spell.

“Ah, shit.” Harry hissed. The tug at his hair sent a shock of hot arousal down his spine. That got him going so quickly. She wanted to fuck? Right now? He would be a fool to say no, and he wasn’t raised a fool. “Yeah? Y’want to ride my cock?” He asked lowly. “Fucks sake... I didn’t know you were so dirty.” He never would have guessed it from her either but... they were here. And he was snapped out of his shock by the tug, and now he was ready to do whatever the fuck she let him. “What did y’want the most, love? Tell me.” He had taken into account that she wanted to be choked, raising a hand to gently cuff her throat, bringing her close to his face. The confidence was soaring now, and all because she was leaking it. She wanted it, desperately. “I said, tell me.” He gave a quick squeeze to her throat. “Want to know what you need.”

“Need your cock, daddy.” Y/N moaned out, eyes blown and glazed over with desire. Y/N could feel the tension in her bones, cunt throbbing and aching to be touched. “Need you so bad, please— wanted you for so long, please make me cum, please!” She pleaded, fully giving into the fantasy. Y/N was never one to hold back and from what she had read, he certainly didn’t want her to. Her body felt like it was on fire, hands grabbing fist fulls of his sweater in hopes that he’d just take it off. Y/N wasn’t sure what type of body would be beneath it, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to feel his warm skin, lick and kiss all that she could while she worked her magic. Y/N waited for his directions, falling into the submissive role easily despite her initial approach. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re gonna have to re-write that scene.”

Harry was going to give this girl any fucking thing she wanted. He let her guide his sweater off, the cool air hitting his skin not even getting a chance because her hands and mouth were all over him. It was like she had fallen into a heat, and Harry.... he loved it. He placed his hands under her sweater, feeling her hands smooth over his chest as she kissed at his neck and over his jaw. Her skin was hot under the sweater, his hands gripping her waist and smoothing over her hips, going up and sip to her ribs where he realized— fuck. 

“Not wearing a fucking bra?” He hissed. “Jesus... you’re a little minx, aren’t you? Off with this.” He spoke lowly, grabbing the ends of it but barely had a shot before Y/N ripped it off of her body. Fucks sake. She was sexier than he had ever imagined. “My god... you’re so sexy, baby.” He whispered, sitting up and burying his face between her breasts. Kissing the hot skin between them, working his way up with the wet, open mouthed kisses to her throat.

“Oh Daddy...” Y/N’s body shuddered at the feeling of his mouth on her, head falling back as she let out a happy sigh. He seemed to like her hand in his hair so she happily gripped at his locks as he scattered kisses over her skin. “Come ‘ere...” She whined, guiding him up to her lips. “Wanna taste your mouth.” Making eye contact with him in this moment felt intimate. All those quick glances in classes and at the coffee shop, all the day dreaming, it all built up to this moment where she fully felt she could let herself let go. The both of them wanted this, it was so reassuring, this was a safe space and they could do whatever they wanted. Y/N’s body rolled forward, pushing him further back onto the couch and angling her hips so she could tease the both of them before she let herself have it. Fuck was he hard... and full. Another moan left her lips, sounding more like a plea and cry for more.

“Fuck me... you’re needy. I love it.” Harry hissed, pulling her mouth to his. It wasn’t soft. No, this kiss... it was hot. Heavy. Her mouth opened and immediately he dragged his tongue inside, meeting hers. She tasted like the apple juice and a bit of mint, and he could groan just from how good it was. Sweet little Y/N wasn’t too innocent at all. “Fuck— keep teasing me like that. S’like you want to end up crying.” He had a feeling now that she did. She wanted his cock inside of her pussy, thrusting in and out and letting herself soak him. Yeah... he wanted it too. “Keep calling me daddy. You’re so dirty. Who would have fucking... known.” He spoke between the kisses, hands going for her jeans. He wanted them off, like hours ago. He was finally going to get her. “M’gonna lay you out in my bed after... first m’gonna fuck you, but M’gonna clean out your cunt with my tongue. And then M’gonna take you again. Yeah?” She has come for studying but was staying for hot sex and he hoped to turn it into a nice marathon. He had all weekend and he was hoping she wouldn’t have to go. He had too many idea for her. “Gonna let daddy lick it up?”

“Fuck— yes, gonna let daddy have his way with me...” She kept her hips rolling against his slowly, keeping the rhythm in check with the passionate kiss they were sharing. Y/N already knew this was going to be the best sex of her life, the kiss alone let her know that. His tongue would work wonders on her cunt and she’d be more than happy to return the favor. Hesitantly, Y/N began to stand to get her jeans off, one of her hands staying put on the back of his neck so the kiss didn’t break. She let him fiddle with the zipper, feeling his fingers hook both her jeans and underwear before yanking them down to which Y/N let out a little squeal. 

Y/N knew she had to pull away from the kiss for air but she didn’t want to, waiting till the very last minute until she couldn’t anymore and went to get his jeans off.

“Come on. Be good.” He murmured against her lips, brushing his hips up so she could get his pants off. She tugged and easily they came down, Harry kicking them off as he pulled her back in his lap. His hands gripped her bare ass and groaned when she pushed into them, not thinking twice before pulling his hand back and smacking it the sound rang in the room and she let out the most sexy noise against his mouth, making him hiss. Fuck. He wanted her so fucking badly. This girl... she was everything. One hand went to feel and fuck. Fuck shit, motherfuck, it was wet. She was so, wet. “Jesus— you’re so wet. Baby— holy shit, you’re soaked.” He whispered. “S’cause of me? You wanted daddy’s cock this bad?” He pulled his fingers off slightly, the arousal still stringing to his fingers. He placed them at her mouth and pushed them in. “That’s it. Clean them up, sweet girl. You’re so filthy, y’know that? Precious little thing. So slick and hot, want cock so fucking bad don’t you?” He cooed, feeling her suck on the digits. “Now.... rub it against your pussy. Don’t put it in yet. get it wet.”

Y/N sucked at his fingers as if it were her job, making sure to treat it like she would his cock which included eye contact. She loved looking at him, seeing his hungry expression and his eyes that seemed to say so much more than he did. Even the feeling of her cunt sliding over his cock sent tingles up her spine. It had never affected her this much with other guys, but she assumed it was different with Harry because she had wanted him for so long. Y/N let out a whimper, feeling a gush of wetness accumulate when he pushed his fingers in farther. Harry was hot in ways she couldn’t explain, there were little things he did that just hit the spot and made her want to fuck him even harder. Y/N was practically bouncing on his cock, aching for him to let her have it inside.

“You’re such a good girl. Listening so fucking well.” Harry took his fingers from her mouth, smirking at the whine and slight chasing of his fingers when he placed it on her breast. She gave it all to him and honestly, he was ready to just... lose it. “Go ahead. Take what you want.” It was not even a moment later that he felt her begin to sink down. She was tight— so damn tight, and he choked slightly at just how good the squeeze was. He let out a hiss, head thrown back in the couch as the slick, hit cunt sucked over him, squeezing hard as she stretched open slowly. “Holy fuck.” He growled, gripping both hips now and looking at her with a darkness in his eyes. “You’re so bloody tight— Christ, you’re squeezin’ me so good.” He whispered.

“Daddy!” She whimpered as she slid farther down on his cock until she couldn’t fit anymore of him in. “I’m so full— feels so good.” Her eyes rolled back a bit as she began to bounce at a slowed rhythm. Small moans and little huffs came from her throat with every stroke of her hips, it wasn’t until she felt warmed up that she actually went for it. Y/N shifted so that she had better balance, keeping her hands on his shoulders before dropping back down on his cock. “Fuck!” She squeaked, making sure to clench one her way back up before repeating the action at a quicker pace. It felt incredible. He was touching every little part of her, feeling small waves of pleasure spread throughout her body. “Daddy! Fuck— feels so good ahhh!” Her moans were pornographic, whiny, desperate and needy. She didn’t even know she could sound like that, but apparently it was possible when she was as thirsty for cock as she was.

Never would he have guessed that this would be the outcome of their hang out. He had hoped, sure. Dreamed? Absolutely. But the reality was so much better. He had the hot, wet and extremely tight pussy gliding up and down his cock. She was moaning, tits bouncing in his face, and she was vocal. More than he could have asked for. The infatuation he had with her was only growing. 

“Fuck, you’re a good girl. Such a perfect little cunt. Like bouncing on my cock, hm? Knew you’d be the perfect girl for me. Keep going.” His hand squeezed her ass, encouraging her to work herself on him. “Feels so full, yeah? Such a big cock filling such a little pussy. A nice stretch for you hm? So eager to be filled up...” her face was of pure bliss and Harry couldn’t help but take a mental photo. He hoped this could happen more than this once. “Knew you’d be good for me. Throwin’ yourself in my lap and begging to be fucked. Never guessed you’d be such a little slut, but I love it.” He took his hand, bringing it down sharply on her ass.

“Fuck!” Y/N gasped, her own hand moving to cuff his neck. It wasn’t as effective as him doing it to her, but it got the point across. The both of them grabbing at each other roughly, him thrusting up into her each time she slammed down. It could only be described as pure ecstasy, surely the hottest sex she had ever had. She needed him, she needed him to cum. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from leaning down to kiss his mouth again, making a mess of the two of them. “You’re so fucking good— love your cock, daddy... fucking love it!” She moaned between kisses, increasing her pace just enough so she could fuck him hard and steady. “I want you to cum for me daddy, wanna feel it nice and deep.” Thank fuck for IUDs. “Want you to fill me up while I cum all over your cock, can you do that for me? Can you cum with me?”

He was panting, lowering himself so he could properly thrust into her sopping cunt. He hadn’t gotten any in so long but this blew any and everyone out of the water. No one could ever understand how good this was. All the pining and imagining had come to an even better conclusion. 

“I’ll do it... but you... gotta promise me.” He growled, giving a particularly sharp thrust inside of her, making her wail. “Promise me I can do it again. Let me have this pussy more.” He didn’t want it to end if it was the only time he could get it. It was too good to let go of. Drooling all over his cock and her soft whimpers and dirty words had him more worked up than anything else. “Promise, baby, and I’ll let you have my cum.”

“Promise— I promise— fuck!” She felt her breath get caught in her throat at the particularly hard thrusts Harry was giving her. “Please Daddy, please give it to me.” Y/N whimpered, moving her hands so they cupped his cheeks, keeping eye contact with him as they continued to relentlessly thrust into each other. There was nothing more satisfying, nothing that managed to hit every part of her both physically and spiritually and made her feel so alive. When you’ve wanted something for so long it makes getting it that much better and she knew that she’d always be chasing this high that only he could give her. “I’m so close, fuck, daddy—“ She mumbled between kisses, squeezing around him and continuing at her pace to bring herself to the perfect high. “Cum with me daddy, please— ah!”

Harry would work on his stamina next round. But after the whole thing, he was close to losing his mind. She was giving him the most tempting offer and he wasn’t going to give it up. 

“Oh— fuck me.” He thrusted in again and again before he let himself go. Feeling her clench up around him and sob against his mouth, he let out a deep growl as he buried himself deep. Hot cum shooting inside of her cunt, rocking his hips in to get it all in there. There was no doubt that this was some of the most intense sex of his life but he was almost ready to go again, as soon as it ended. Holding her shivering form, her orgasm was tapering, he could feel her clenching still. “That’s it. Take all of it inside of you. Good girl.”

Y/N gripped Harry’s shoulders, loud screams of pleasure coming straight from her throat. There were no words to describe the high, she almost felt out of her own body as he showered her with praise. With her body shaking and face contorting with a silent scream, she found it in her to come back down letting out a pathetic whimper.

“Daddy—” She swallowed thickly, mouth finding his messily, pressing kisses to his lips and his face. The two of them were both lightly covered in sweat, breathing heavily and enjoying each other’s company. Y/N was far too blissed out to think about what just happened, but blissed out enough to know there would be many more rounds of this tonight. Y/N smiled as she nuzzled against his neck, still sponging kissing to his dampened skin. “Better?” She mumbled, smirking against his skin a bit.

“Mm.” He hummed, hands holding her hips still. Holy hell. This was the beginning of an amazing weekend- because he didn’t plan on letting her out at all, if he could help it’ he wanted her to stay, to let him indulge in her. “So fucking good.” He muttered lowly, rubbing his hand up her back and smoothing over her skin. Fucks sake. This was paradise. Nothing could pop him out of this. 

At least, that was until the doorbell rang. 

“Ah, fuck. The pizza.”

-------------------------------------------------

let us know what you think!

masterlist

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

I’m so fucking sick of this pattern of bullshit every time I go into these goddamn fucking tags:

I’m so fucking sick of all these bizarro unhinged Vivziepop Fanti Fandom Centrist “Critical Accounts” invading the tags to finger wag at people while they cry about abuse and hypocrisy as they, ~in all seriousness~ try to convince us how Viv Medrano is simply too young to be a critically acclaimed animation juggernaut and instead, just needs to have her pencil taken away from her and should like, probably be placed under a conservatorship of some sort and have her babies be placed into the hands of a more capable man, or should be institutionalized for the good of her own health for being naïve enough to hold the notion that her tiny teeny jelly beanie brain could possibly hold enough power in it to run two shows at once and she should just like, you know... Stay out of sight in the psych ward until she can learn to let go of her crazy dreams because clearly she’s killing herself and her own fanbase are the ones who keep feeding off of, and abusing that numbing drug that is her bruised ego. 

The antis who kept wishing death on her and accusing her of being a racist, pedo zoophile have absolutely nothing to do with wether she’s actually depressed or not (not that that’s any of this blogs business) but how DARE you think I endorse those behaviors! Shame on YOU Vivziepop Standom! 

Breaking the bit now though I knew this was a bullshit post the second they started rambling about “both shows slowly declining”.... Hazbin Hotel isn’t even out yet what the fuck are these people on about?! Sounds like someone’s more than a bit angry about Angel Dust’s Boob Floof Angle. 

A. Once more, the absolute eeriness of misogynists concern trolling over this women’s health by instructing her what to do. So like, another example of the disturbing implications of behaving like you’d rather have this women be placed under a conservatorship than be her own Show Creator..

B. Who the fuck even talks like this anymore? I sense that squeecore is more your thing, but I thought you of all people would know better that we are in fact in The Owl House generation of Yuri themed Harry Potter rip offs now. Not *Actual* Harry Potter. Get a life. 

Once again this shit has absolutely fuck all to do to with Anti Culture screaming and creaming over Viv Medrano allegedly loving blackface and raping children and dogs and hitting the ground running with this narrative the second the pilot premiered and before the show even got any breathing room as this backlash to her very existence only worsened as time went on and her work got green-lit by this major Hollywood studio only to be immediately protested after by the same rabid hive mind who triggered all this shit happening in the first place. Nope. It’s exclusively Vivziepops own fanbase that’s to blame. Nothing else.

....Why is this dude talking about Viv as if she’s been placed on suicide watch and he’s the medic responsible for bringing her in? Jesus. The woman making a tweet a week ago about taking a break from socials proves to be the exact opposite of “hurting herself”.

The ones who are trying to act as her personal policers obsessing over every breath she takes and every move she makes are the only ones contributing to any hurt and suffering here. Including mine. Quit being a creep and get a life!

 Disney Adult Blog

Bright Blue Color Scheme

Marvel Blog 

“Just A Little Critique blog”

“DNI if anti hazbin (with a few exceptions if ur one of da good ones ... UWU)”

oh-god-dude , THANK YOU for being yet another shining example of how all Hazbin Fanti Discourse blogs have shit taste, no space for their centrist bullshit opinions within the genuine fandom, and continue to be the most insidious frickers alive for enabling the very Anti Culture that causes so much harm to come invade our spaces and then turn around and act as though the only ones who are responsible for Viv’s own personal experiences with pain and suffering that you couldn’t possibly know of, is all inflicted by her own fans and absolutely no one else as if you think you’re not contributing just as much to our problems .  We hate you!

Like, the absolute gall and irony of modding an Anti Friendly “VivziePop Criticism” blog, acting like you’re not an Anti while you’re using a reaction gif of one of Britney Spear’s abusive ex boyfriends to snidely “critique” Viv Medrano’s work while you put your little fanti cult on a pedestal as you essentially treat Vivienne Medrano as the Britney Spears of modern animation (in the negative context here) constantly posturing over Medrano’s health and wellness and questioning Viv’s own agency to be in control because you’re just as bitter and misogynistic and resentful towards Viv as the ones who ruined Britney’s life and then act like they did nothing wrong? Delicious.

Well, Owl House ain’t going back to you, that’s for sure!

For me Hazbin is just catered to be the perfect treat for a specific kind of adult Animation nerd to indulge and I’m only saying this now because I’ve come reconcile with the fact that Viv Medrano’s work will most like be the only sets of Western Cartoons that I’ll ever care about again in my Adult Life after Hazbin Hotel is finished as a series.

But hey, if you wanna still choose Disney Cartoons that were canceled for being too gay over an enriching indie adult animation..... Be my guest.

If an Adult Cis Man posted this I’m kind of disappointed and squicked out.

If a kid posted this then they need to stay out of these tags!

The rest of you need to stop mixing your children’s media in with my Animated Adult Horror Musical!

But yes, everyone needs to stop hate humping on Viv Medrano’s leg and just leave her alone.

[sxfik]

han seo headcanons (part 4)

writing this is cathartic tbh. of course, i always write on the days i have an exam to prep for (aka my lit exam tmrw thats technically today)!! we make good life decisions here at clown nation <3

< prev

read on ao3

tw: mentions of abuse

the first time they competed, vincenzo was away on his buisness trip to italy. he had some loose ends to tie up after his little contract and getting paulo off the helm of the mafia.

which meant that jipuragi was particularly empty without the italian-korean's presence. no one to give han seo a pat on his back. no one to look over cha-young's shoulder.

they all felt it hard, as if the firm had a huge hole where vincenzo is supposed to be

han seo felt himself looking at his desk every single time he passed by it. the first day was more jarring than the rest, he had gotten used to vincenzo's presence in his life.

it was a particularly late friday night at jipuragi. han seo lugged into the firm a gigantic stack of contracts and internal documents about babel so the laywers and him can go through each one. cha-young had to carry both her and vincenzo's load for that week with vincenzo in italy.

they were stressed and tired and had a million paper cuts from sorting through each pile of documents. all three of them were working quietly, the silence comfortable, save for the sounds of russling paper and pens scratching across notepads

"alright, i'm off for the night. i have a airplane competition tomorrow morning and i need jason to fly far for me so i can finally win that 500 dollar prize. goodnight byeonosanim, mr. jang" the paralegal said as he put on his satchel and took out his cycle. he waved his goodbyes as the he left, leaving han seo and cha-young in the office by themselves.

they had only known each other for two weeks, really. han seo always met his hyung vincenzo over drinks or over at his house. he only ever saw the pretty lawyer from a distance, usually when taking note of how his hyung vincenzo dotes over her just so he can tease him about her

and use her to distract his hyung

it always works

cha-young didn't know much about the young ceo, despite meeting him a couple times from her time at wusang. part of her never wanted to trust him, even though he had proven himself and his loyalty to vincenzo, because in the world she lived in, everyone could betray the other at any time

but his presence in the office was comforting to her. he had come in, dressed like an 80s disco star and all asking if he could join the team, and somehow, he stuck with her.

something in her wanted to trust him. he seemed unassuming and loyal to the core, especially to vincenzo. the way he always walked into the firm grinning, visiting the plaza residents. he had an energy about him that reminded him of a younger sibling she's always wanted

but she was burned once with prosecutor jung and she's learned her lesson so it was time for the ultimate test

"are you hungry?" she asked, shuffling through her papers one last time before standing up, and putting the stacks back into their file system

han seo was startled for a second, his head buried deep with in the papers, the words almost swimming together with the amount of times he had to look through these contracts

for a second, he thought she was speaking to vincenzo, not himself before he remembered that vincenzo wasn't here this week

"Oh yes, byeonosanim. Would you like to order something or..?" he'd replied as he stood up from his seat, giving his legs a strech. he had forgotten just how tired he was until she asked him, his body feeling the effects of running the company and being at jipuragi

"Yeah, we can. I have the perfect restaurant to get some food from! they're always open late too so it's really convenient" she quipped back, her back facing him as she started putting all the contracts back into place and started pulling out new ones to look over

he followed suit, clearing up the table he was working on and moving to the paralegal’s desk.

even though his work was often hard for him to understand, the legal and formal language needing multiple reads, he felt refreshed each time he came to the plaza

he'd established a daily routine here, going to check on the hee-soo at the snack bar, visiting the pawnshop

he's quite good with his hands. he'd always known he had a knack for taking things apart and fixing them, which especially helped at the pawnshop when college students and older families would come by with broken tablets and gadgets.

even though he was rich, barely anything was spent on him when his dad was alive. every single new outfit or toy always went to han-seok, where as he was stuck with the ragged hand me downs, and old toys.

so when he had gotten his first phone, and broken the keypad, (because han seok threw it across the room when he got angry that he had the same model as his illegitimate brother) he understood it was up to him to figure it out.

he was always good at taking things apart, from all his toy cars to majority of the gadgets and clocks he had in his house.

(there was a day, when he was younger, that he took apart han seok's toy car. the next school day he walked around with gloves, trying to forget about how his cuts hurt as he curled his fingers around a pencil)

taking things apart and then putting them back together the same way was somehow natural to him. but of course, none of that mattered since he couldn't score well enough on his exams to get past the courses he needed to into engineering. plus, he could imagine the sneer on his father's face if he told him what path he was considering...

for most of his life, he'd felt useless compared to his brother. he was never the quick-witted boy at school, failing his english courses and having to go to cram schools and tutoring sessions just to pass by.

he hated going to school everyday, having the teachers shame him for not being as smart as his brother, not being as charismatic or as smooth talking

the exam days were always the worst. looking at the exam sheet, his palms sweaty and his throat tight as he looked at the questions

the doubt was overwhelming. the pressure made him sweat and freeze up even though he knew the problems.

the kids at his schools always seemed to prefer han seok, for some weird reason, when to him he's always been the menace in his life.

han seok was the one to head the company. the one he can't measure up to in front of his father. the one to push the family forward. every bit of praise, every second of attention, it all went to han seok.

han seo was the mistake. the one who always fucked it up. the one who seemed to mess up his brother's plans.

his brother seemed to take it upon himself to remind him that he wasn't meant to be alive. and their father, believing it to be good for han seo, would force him to be tutored by han seok every day.

his brother had a field day with it, finding the most creative ways to abuse and torture him

of course, he's not allowed to say a word about it.

at first, working at jipuragi was anxiety inducing, sweat drenching his shirt each time he brought a document he thought useful to vincenzo, his throat closing up imagining the consequences of fucking up

he knew deep down, that vincenzo wasn't like his brother, he will not hurt him, he will not kill him

but the anxiety and panic are second nature to him

his eyes were glued to his shoes after he handed it over to vincenzo.

vincenzo paused, looking over the document with scrutiny. and his body was automatically bracing for a slap, a punch. at the very least a snide remark or a sneer.

instead he looked up at han seo, nodding, and told him "this is very useful. thank you."

thank you.

thank you. he blinked.

the words echoed in his head as he replayed them back over and over. thank you. in all his years working, no one had said thank you. no words of appreciation were ever dealt for doing his job. for doing something right.

unable to think of a reply, he walked back to his desk and sat down, the shock overwhelming him before he got his mind working again

although it took him double the time to go through the contracts than it did vincenzo or cha-young, he was never berated. there was never a comment about how slow he was, how he wasn't cut out for this, only appriciative glances and words when he did well

and when he didn't, they corrected him, gently. never maliciously, never taunting, always gentle.

and for the first time, he could breathe

the time passed by quickly as they both continued working in silence, han seo finishing up half a stack before the doorbell rang.

"i'll get it! ceo jang, can you set the table up?" cha-young looked toward as she went to grab the food from the delivery man

"yes, byeonosanim" he replied as he went to grab some disposable plates and wooden chopsticks from the cabinet

he set everything out just in time for the lawyer to set the food down. he squinted at the bowls she pulled out, the bright red liquid a stark contrast to the white containers.

"uh, byeonosanim, what is that?"

"hm? oh it's fire noodles. you don't mind spice do you, han seo?" she quirked her eyebrow at him, her voice sickly sweet

and he grinned at her and that was enough of an answer: it was showdown time.

so there he was, sitting across from cha-young, the container of red chili oil central to both of them. both of their suit coats were off, lest they start literally heating up.

oh, and if either of them reach for their water: they're out.

for about 10 seconds, they stared at each other, trying to psych each other out, before his phone timer counted down.

....3, 2, 1 and they were off!

both of them grabbed their chopsticks and spoons and ate two large bites and drank the broth before angling for one spoon full of chili oil into their noodles.

and on they went in this cycle, eating a bite and drinking broth, and pouring chili oil in after each cycle.

3 pours in, and they were still doing good, neither of them showing any signs of redness

6 pours in and his tongue was swollen, her eyes watery, their broth bright red

7 pours in and .... was it just him or was the room getting hotter?

8 and you could see the sweat dripping the lawyer's forehead, the sniffles of the lawyer getting louder and louder. meanwhile he was panting, trying to increase the circulation into his mouth

9 and their arms meet across the table, inches from the chili oil. their eyes lock, their faces bright red and the pain of his tongue unbearable

his eyes are squinted (from his eyes burning or from concentration, we'll never know) and the lawyer is making faces, trying to get him to give in

"it'll" *huff* "be easier" *huff* "if you give in now" *huff*

he laughed back, in response. "and let you win? no way. I'M getting that paper crown"

their eyes both glance at the flimsy, blue paper crown set upon it's carrier, a stack of contracts

she scoffed back (and almost choked) "absolutely not"

they stare each other down as they pour more in and go for another round

they swallow and in that second, cha-young made a fatal mistake

she breathed in the fumes. and coughed. and grabbed the water before she could think about it.

"AHAHA I WIN!!" he yelled out, the chair flying back as he jumped up, the layer of sweat easing up when he grabbed the bottle of water and chugged the whole thing down

the lawyer on the other hand, was slumped in the seat, taking the opportunity to also chug the water.

for around 10 seconds all they did was pant, getting their bodies back into a normal pace before cha-young spoke up

"fine i guess you win, have a great night!" she jabbered out quickly but he knew what she was trying to do

"nuh uh, nope, you're not getting out of this. we agreed! loser has to crown the winner." he grinned at her, his eyes completely closed as his happiness shone through

sighing, the lawyer grabbed the crown from it's holy pedastal and stomped over.

"tun ta da da !!! all hail king han seo, destroyer of spice, the unyielding one" she sang out, her voice deeper as traces of laughter tinted her voice

she placed the crown upon his name and bowed, "may he reign forever" and looked up and shot him a wink "at least, until i win next time"

he struck a superman pose, and puffed his chest out, before both of them crumbled into laughter, cha-young dramatic one ringing above his cackling

"we should do this again please, noona!" he wheezed out, his stomach hurting from laughter.

but it was only his ringing out, as hers cut out sharply.

"noona?"

he paused as his head whipped around to the lawyer, her head tilted as she looked at him

did i say that? i swear i called her byeonosanim... and he replayed the moment.

fuck.

"ah, i'm so sorry hong cha young byeonosanim, i overstepped, i apologize," he bowed in apology to her.

"do you call vincenzo byeonosanim hyung?"

"huh?" he looked up at her in confusion, "uh, yeah i do call him hyung. why?"

"you can call me noona then." she quipped back and for a second, he stared at her. wait what?

she clapped his back, and he choked on his spit, the clap knocking the air out of him "relax. you passed the test han-seo. i've always wanted a younger brother, you know? you can call me noona. as long as you remember your manners, that is," shooting him a wink

he glanced at her, before breaking out into the biggest grin, his gums peaking out.

"okay... cha-young noona!" he giggled, as they took their seats.

she grinned back, settling in.

"ah, you know noona, he said the same thing as you"

"huh?" she squinted back

"vin hyung! he said the same 'you better mind your manners'" han seo laughed as he mocked the korean-italian mafia's voice

"you know, that impression is spot on!" she laughed as he continued the voice, adding in the classic hand gestures, until both of them broke into laughter.

for some reason, both of them were instantly comfortable with one another.

for han seo, laughing with cha-young, trading insults and teasing felt warm, it felt like he'd found a best friend (a best friend who once upon a time he almost maimed by sending thugs after her, but she swore to him that all is forgiven) they had similar humor, similar tastes, similar personalities

for cha-young, he felt like a partner in crime. not like the way vincenzo her partner in life in crime, but in the way that they were both pranksters, both with similar personalities and bright humor

it felt like finding a sibling, a person to commit crimes with, a person to clown together with

"you know, noona, is vin hyung..." he paused mid-sentence, contemplating if he could ask this.

"go on, han seo" cha-young encouraged him, one hand bringing the bottle of water to her mouth

"is he your boyfriend?" he rushed out the words and—

he was sprayed in the face.

cha-young was sputtering as the water dripped off his face, and his eyes shut as he wiped off the excess

"yah, why would you even ask that?" she scoffed out refusing to meet his eyes, but he could see the red tint creeping up on her neck and her cheeks

he shot her a look.

"yeah, yeah okay. he and i are... partners"

"oh." he quipped back, a sinister smile slowly spreading across his face

"no, no, no" she shook her at him, "i do not have a crush on him"

he raised an eyebrow back "who said anything about a crush hm, noona?"

she froze and he knew he'd have next weeks entertainment sorted

"you know maybe i'll take back that younger brother thing if this is how it's like" she taunted, but he didn't feel any hurt. instead her teasing just made his heart soar, her teasing somehow a comfort

"oh, we're just getting started!" he quipped back, as they cleaned up for the night, continuing their conversation as they restored the firm back to order.

"i've noticed you going to the pawnshop a lot recently" she noted, as she grabbed a stack of contracts to put back into the filing cabinet

"ahh, yeah i've been helping them out. they're having a baby you know and it must be hard on both of them to run the shop" he responded as he stacked another set of contracts together, clearing Mr. Nam's desk

"you should do it."

"what?"

"study electronics. or at least continue working for the pawnshop."

he stared at her.

how did she know? for someone so bright and busy he didn't expect her to be so observant to him.

"oh please, like it's hard to notice. i've seen the way you always seem to be happier as you pass by the pawnshop. when i popped in during lunch, i saw you, hunched over the tablet. it's the happiest i've seen you look."

"oh." he grew quiet "it's a little too late, don't you think noona? for me to even consider that? i'd be a little foolish to follow that"

she sighed and turned to him, grabbing the stack from his arms. "let me tell you a story han seo. i'm 34 years old and a lawyer and don't get me wrong, i love doing this. but when i was little my dream was always to sing. but for years, i pushed it back, thinking i could never do it."

she stuffed the papers to the back corner, somehow managing to stuff it in and turned back to him.

"so, noona? did you do it?"

"patience. a couple weeks after my final exam for law school, i said why the hell not. and now i've been taking lessons one and off for years!"

"you should give a demo!! sing for us"

"oh, please i couldn't possibly do it" she tucked her hair back, looking bashful.

"ple-" he barely got the words out.

"oh of course, if you insist!" she grabbed the empty water bottle and climbed on her stool, the makeshift stage for the night

"noona! noona!!" han seo cheered her on as she stood up. she cleared her throat, moving her head to the side and warming up

and she opened her mouth.

and sang.

if you could call that singing.

what came out was more of a series of tone-deaf screeches, making him wince but mask his face with a smile, trying to solider through the pain.

he clapped as SOON as she finished the last note, his ears grateful for the break. she took a flourished bow as she jumped off the stool

"how was it?"

"noona, that was amazing!" he lied, trying his best to stop the ringing in his ears.

she smacked him with her water bottle "yah! you liar! i'm god awful" she made one of her classic faces.

"you know??? and you made me endure that???" he touched his ears. he expected to see blood but luckily the damage wasn't too bad

"YAH!" she smacked him again. "you brat, the point isn't that i'm good or not."

"then what is?" his eyebrows furrowed as he looked in confusion.

if you're not good at it then what really is the point? why should i keep trying?

"the point is that i'm happy. it doesn't matter how good you are at something for you to consider it an interest, as long as it makes you happy."

he paused. no one had ever said that before. to do what makes him happy. not what made his father or his brother happy. everyone's advice all his life was to stick to what you're good at and that there isn't a point in trying if you aren't good from the beginning.

"look i'm terrible at singing. but i know that if i had never pursued it, i would have grown old and regretted it. so what if i am bad! at least i got to do it while i'm alive! give electronics a shot, han seo."

han seo bit his lip slightly. and he nodded.

he was going to give it a shot.

"good! now lets get this cleaned up and go home!" she sashayed off to her desk, grabbing the last of her stuff before they left the firm.

the next week, when vincenzo was back from italy, he had expected to find the firm just like he left it. what he didn't expect was his girlfriend wife partner and brother han seo, one sprawled on the couch and the other on the floor, piles of blankets and what looked like a mic and SEVERAL bottles of sujo scattered across the table.

they were both in matching pajama sets, and snoring very loudly. he shuffled over to his desk where a note that looked like it was written in crayon was left

and it said

"dear vin hyung: noona and i were having a sleepover last night. i made sure she was extra safe and did not do anything overly amitious (like call you in the middle of the night to ask you if you had to leave) if you are seeing the mess that we probably made, please excuse it. i will clean it up as soon as i can. grazie!

p.s. you should ask noona out sometime, i have it in good word that she might be interested ;)

to be continued...

a/n: let this be a fic reminding you that if you are passionate about something, pursue it! our world conditions us to believe that you have to be good at something in order to be able to do it but that's absolute bs. please give your younger and future selves a chance by taking up something you've always wanted to do <3

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

❥𝓔𝓻𝓸𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓟𝓼𝔂𝓬𝓱𝓮

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐸𝑟𝑜𝑠! 𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑒𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔 × 𝑃𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑒! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝐿𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝐹𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑦/𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑘 𝑀𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑦 𝐴𝑈.

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 11.8𝐾

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝, 𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠, 𝑚𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠/ 𝑑𝑒𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘, 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡.

~"𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑡.

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑔𝑛𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠." - 𝐴𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑎 𝐾𝑟𝑖𝑧𝑧𝑎𝑛.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

"Eros, my darling son.......come here for a minute."

The golden haired goddess gently stroke the dove that was nestled in her embrace, her eyes fixated on the ray of light that shone through the crystal windows of her palace.

She heard the footsteps of her beloved child stop right in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him bend down in obeisance to her, his arm rested across his chest.

"Yes mother?" The snowy white haired deity awaited her instructions.

"I've been rather uneasy lately my love. Very uneasy." She waved her hand and he slowly rose up, eyes meeting hers.

"Why is that?"

The Olympian got up from her seat, sending the little dove flying away to perch itself on one of the trees that decorated the room. Gracefully, she paced around the room, her hands folded in front of her abdomen, fingers tapping against each other as she mused about the current situation.

"There's been....some unsettling rumors being spread in the mortal world and it has reached Olympus..."

Eros waited for her to continue. It must have been something very grievous for her to be so out of sorts, and this was the same goddess who didn't fear the consequences when her long life affair with his father, Ares, was discovered.

She peered down the window, sneering at the city below that was barely visible with all the clouds covering a vast majority of it.

"Apparently one of the daughter's of the King of Athens is said to be remarkably beautiful....."

She paused as she took a deep breath, jaw clenching as she sputtered out the next words.

"So enchanting that they dare compare her to me....Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty itself....

They've even begun to bring gifts and worship her on the day they're supposed to pay respect and praise to me!"

Eros flinched slightly when she hastily turned around and marched past him, tipping over a table that held a tray with a golden tea set. But he didn't stop her, so used to his mother's infantile tantrums, although he was pretty shocked to hear the severity of the issue. To worship a mere mortal, one who was so far below one of the gods, and not just any god, but one of the 12 Olympians themselves, was inconceivable.

Aphrodite clenched and unclenched her fist, trying to control her fury threatening to seek vengeance.

"I need you to go down there and find out who she is. And when you find her.....shoot her." She commanded him.

Eros nodded, understanding what she was asking of him.

"Who would you like me to have her fall for?"

Aphrodite groaned in annoyance.

"Oh! I don't know! Anyone or anything! An old haggard beggar, a toad, have her go mad over a tree stump for all I care! Just make her go insane!" She threw a cluster of grapes across the room, scaring the flock of doves who flew away to different parts of the room.

"As you wish my goddess."

Eros bowed to his mother one last time before retreating out of the hall, and going to his own chambers to prepare his necessary equipment for the journey. He too was curious to find out just how captivating this woman really was.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

The young girl sighed softly as she looked at all the smoke coming out from the temple, the light scent of incense could be made out from her bedroom window. She was well aware and against what was going on in there. It was utterly disrespectful of her father to allow them and even encourage his citizens to offer sacrifices to her in Aphrodite's sacred temple, and on her very own yearly celebration. Had they no fear of a wrath from the gods?

She simply looked away and went to her own little corner where she made a small shrine dedicated to the goddess of beauty, love and fertility. She admired the small marble figurine of the goddess herself, and straightened out the roses and pearls surrounding it. She lit fire to a few myrtles and let them burn in a small ash tray as she murmured one of the many hymns in devotion to the deity. If she wasn't so soft hearted, she would have finished it off with sacrificing one of the best doves that were kept in the stables, but she could never bring herself to do that. She hoped the goddess would understand and forgive her, or at least, try to appease her for all the foolishness her father was causing.

She straightened her nightgown and crawled under the blankets of her grand bed. She was exhausted from the day's festivities and from the guilt and fear eating her alive. She shut her eyes, secretly hoping it was nothing but a bad dream and when she awoke, everything would be fine and back to the ways it was meant to be. She soon was fast asleep, only movements coming out of her body were the rising of her chest, signaling her breathing.

A soft thud landed on her balcony. The being looked behind him, making sure nobody had seen him. Not that it mattered, even if they did, they would tremble away in fear. Pushing the window open, he let himself inside the girl's bedroom, the one they reverenced as Psyche. His eyes scanned the room, landing on the bed which he cautiously approached. His hand reached out to pull away at the drapes covering the sleeping figure.

"Let's see who is it that is said to rival Aphrodite."

Eros pulled the drape away, letting the moonlight behind him shine on the face of the occupant on the bed. His arm fell to his side, slapping slightly against his thigh as he took in the beautiful countenance of the woman sleeping peacefully in front of him. He blinked slowly, trying to decipher if what he was seeing was indeed real. She was absolutely breathtaking, almost ethereal, never had his sight been blessed by such radiant and magnificent beauty, and he'd spent some time around Poseidon's Nereids.

Without realizing it, his hand reached out to caress her face or simply push back a lock of her hair, he himself didn't know what he was doing. But a small shifting of position on her part made him retract his hand, elbow grazing on the leather of the pouch on his back.

That's right. He still had a mission to carry out.

His arm reached back and grabbed an arrow from the pouch. He then proceeded to hover his hand above the tip, humming the soft incantation that would allow him to pierce the girl's heart and render her insane for the first object she saw. As he chanted, she began to stir in her sleep, putting Eros on guard, hoping she wouldn't wake up. He took in how her once peaceful expression, showed now sorrow and pain. It somehow pained him to see such a beautiful girl seem so troubled. He was so lost in her gaze that he didn't realise it until it was too late...

Until he felt the sharp tip of the arrow prick into his palm, even piercing the skin. Eros widened his eyes as he quickly yanked the arrow out, flinging it across the room. He looked at his hand, no blood coming out because he was an immortal, but he still clutched it as he felt an overwhelming pain and flutter course through his entire body. His heart started to pump at a faster pace, and his breathing became heavier. He tried to look away, but his mind forced him to look back at the unsuspecting girl on the bed.

"Oh no......what have I done?" He whispered softly.

Feeling dizzy, he scurried out the window, not caring anymore about being seeing in the dark of night, he just knew he wanted to back in Olympus as soon as possible. He flew back into the heavens, discarding only a few white feathers on his desperate flight back.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Psyche stood in front of the mirror, trying not to gaze at her own reflection, which she thought of as more of a curse than a blessing. She simply let her maids comb and adorn her hair as they wished and wrap a golden belt around her lilac colored tunic.

"My lady would you like breakfast brought to you or would you prefer to go down to the dining room?" One of them inquired.

She shook her head.

"I won't be taking breakfast today thank you."

The maids exchanged a puzzled look between each other but decided not to pry any longer. They simple allowed their mistress to wander off to the castle's pavilion located in the center of the gardens.

She preferred being alone these days, avoiding as many people as possible, but especially her father. Lately he had been rambling and complaining non stop at the lack of suitors coming to propose marriage to her. It'd been almost a year since he put out the announcement that she was of age and ready to be betrothed to any suitable prince or monarch, he had even raised the dowry triple what it was originally worth, but still, no one had come to claim her or propose.

"Perhaps it's just as well." She thought to herself. It wouldn't surprise her if this was how Aphrodite was showing her anger, by making her face the humiliation of being unwedded and childless.

Perhaps the biggest thing bothering her was the fact men just came to admire her beauty, but seemed to never really fall in love with her, and she herself couldn't fall in love either. Was she just a pretty face for people to gawk and fawn over? Was she destined to feel lonely and empty for the rest of her life?

"Little Psyche out here all alone?"

She stiffened when she heard the voice of her eldest sister, Amara, from behind her. Small steps let her know she was entering the pavilion and soon enough, she felt her presence stand right next to her.

"I wanted to be alone. That's all." She explained, although she really didn't feel the need to.

Her sister hummed softly.

"Would one really think that to be such a good idea? Father would be concerned if anything happened to his precious and beautiful Psyche, especially after that incident of the arrow in your room."

She was getting irritated at this point, her hand gripping harshly at the side of her tunic, creasing it slightly.

"That was many months ago Amara.....and I've said before that I don't like the title given to me by my father and the people....."

She took a deep breath before stating firmly:

"My name is Y/N and I shall be referred as such."

Her sister was taken aback by her sharp tone, but paid no attention to it. She opted for plucking some of the little violets that surrounded one of the pillars.

"As you wish....after all, anything you say is practically law. Anything you desire, you'll get." Her voice was laced with envy.

Y/N shook her head.

"Not everything."

Although she was referring to the fact her father refused to listen to her in the matter of Aphrodite's temple, her sister wrongly thought she meant the matter of matrimony.

"Oh don't worry little sister. Father is to go visit the Oracle of Delphi to seek help from Apollo in regards to your.......shameful circumstances."

Y/N couldn't stand it anymore. It's not that she hated her sister, but lately she seemed to enjoy in taking delight of her misery and pain, hurting her with her mock pity and double sided remarks.

"If you'll excuse me Amara, I shall go back inside."

Y/N was barely 4 feet away when her sister dismissed her.

"See you later......Psyche."

Y/N refused to eat during the entire day, worrying her loyal and trustworthy maids.

"But Miss....you must eat at least a little. Whatever shall you do if your beauty fades away?"

'Then I shall be content.'

She only thought those words but didn't say them out loud. She felt bad about her maids attending to her with such tenderness that she forced herself to at least eat some of the grapes in front of her. It seemed to put her maids more at ease and Y/N was happy about it.

"Anything in particular you wish for us to do Miss?"

There was one thing she really wanted. Something everyone around her never seemed to do anymore.

"Could you......could you please call me Y/N?"

The two women looked back and forth at each other, unsure of whether to refer to the princess in such an informal way.

"Please?"

Y/N was just craving to be reminded of who she truly was, be assured about her existence and her true person. Both women smiled fondly at her before curtsying to her.

"Lady Y/N."

She felt her heart full with warmth and felt happier in that moment than she had felt in the last 8 months that had gone by. But that happiness was short lived when her door swung open, her other sister, Melia rushing in, looking out of sorts and with fear in her eyes.

"Melia? What's wrong?"

Y/N stood up, but it was her sister who clutched onto her and sobbed on her neck.

"Oh poor Psyche! Why must this have happened to you? To my dear little sister?"

Y/N didn't know what to make of this, but it must be something dreadful if her usually composed and quiet sibling was hysteric. She pulled her back to take in her countenance.

"Tell me. What is it?" Y/N pleaded.

Melia pursed her lips before recounting what she heard and witnessed.

"Father came back from meeting with Apollo's Oracle......and Psyche, it's dreadful!"

Y/N gulped slightly. Although she was expecting the answer to not be a favorable one, she was not expecting this outburst.

"Tell me Mel.......am I not to get married ever?"

Y/N braced herself for the negative response.

Melia shook her head though.

"No Psyche.....it's much much worse than that."

Y/N felt her heart drop at that. What could there possibly be that was worse than not getting married?

"The Oracle told father that your husband has already been chosen for you. He gave us instructions that we are to deliver you to the top of Mount Lycabettus, dressed in black and to leave you there...."

She sniffled and held her handkerchief to her mouth.

"Will my husband meet us there?" She questioned.

Melia shook her head no.

"Well- then how can we be married?" She was beyond puzzled at this point.

"We don't know Psyche, the Oracle only said to deliver you. One thing is sure Psyche. Your husband is not mortal."

Y/N would have rejoiced at the information would it not have been for the terror in her sister's eyes.

"Melia tell me.....who exactly is my husband?"

Melia seemed troubled to reveal more information to her, but she knew she had to say it.

"We don't know. He refused to tell father. All he mentioned was that he flies through the skies and even the gods are terrified of him.....

"Psyche....I fear you're destined to marry a monster..."

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

The girl watched as her parents, sisters and their husbands disappeared from sight, not even leaving behind their footprints to keep her company. Crouching down, she settled herself onto the ground, her arms wrapping around to hug her knees. She sighed in despair as she thought about what was going to happen to her now. Was her new husband really a monster? It seemed to be the only logical explanation if even gods were afraid of him. The only thing she could think of was....

A titan?

'No it can't be.'

She quickly discarded that thought. All of the titans were locked away in Tartarus. And the world would have definitely known if a titan had gotten out.

She anxiously waited for a sign, a movement of some kind, but nothing ever came. All she had to accompany her besides her solitude was the light breeze that blew some of her hair in front of her face. She shivered slightly, her arms crossing over her chest as she rubbed them with her hands. She faintly noticed that the wind seemed to be getting a little more heavier, and it seemed as though fog started to appear around her. But Y/N couldn't really pay attention to it as she felt herself getting drowsy and tired. She struggled to keep her eyes open, but the feeling was overtaking her. Her eyes ended up closing as she fell back onto the moss underneath her, falling fast asleep without even knowing why.

While asleep, she felt a strange sensation of being lifted up and carried up into the sky, almost as if though she were flying.....but that was surely impossible? But it felt so real. She had a fantastical dream of flying above the peak of mountains, drift through the clouds in the sky and somehow even be close to the stars. She felt as if she were being carried in the arms of some strong entity. And at the end, she could faintly hear a voice assure her:

"Have no fear little one, for you are truly loved."

Awakening hours later, when it was even darker and more deep into the night than before, she sat up and looked around at her surroundings. The green moss from before was no longer accompanying her. Instead, she awoke to find herself placed on an ivory marble resting bench. Beautiful varieties of roses surrounded what she guessed to be a very beautiful and luxurious garden. Her hand reached out to caress one of them, its petals being one of the most soft things she'd ever felt.

Standing up, she followed the stone path that was right in front of her. A tiny river flowed through the garden, a slight trickling sound was the only noise that was heard. She stopped when a grand and extravagant mansion stood before her. It was 10 times more beautiful and seemed more expensive than the very castle she grew up in. Cautiously, she over to the front door, which seemed to be made out of pure gold, pearls adorning the edges of them.

Y/N was about to knock on it, but to her surprise, the doors opened by themselves. She slowly stepped inside, her eyes bulging out as her eyes took in the hall in front of her. Clean and neatly polished marble floor, crimson red silk drapes covering large and vast windows, the furniture looked unlike anything she had ever seen before. Her hand was gliding over the ottoman in the center of it when a voice called out:

"Welcome mistress! We have been expecting you!"

She whipped her head around, then looked at all directions, but found no one standing anywhere near her.

"Who...who are you?" Y/N fearfully looked at the ceiling then at every corner, wondering where the voice was.

"We're your servants mistress." A chorus of at least 5 women rang out, puzzling her even more.

"Where....are you?"

The invisible women giggled amongst themselves.

"We are right here next to you mistress. I'm afraid you just can't see us."

Y/N watched as a silver pitcher was lifted up in the air, pouring what seemed to be wine in a glass cup, which was then hovered right in front of her.

"Wine mistress?"

Y/N hesitantly took the cup, indeed feeling someone's weight let go of it. She took a small sip of the wine, its rich and crisp flavor enticing her to drink more of it.

"Would you care for any fruits?" A platter holding strawberries, grapes, cherries and blueberries were held up in front of her. They looked so fresh and ripe, Y/N couldn't help but reach for one of the grapes, her tastebuds becoming completely engaged at how delicious and juicy they were.

She no longer felt disturbed by the faceless voices talking to her, nor about the objects floating around, carrying articles that were being offered to her, and she did not get startled when she heard music filling the room, playing the most sweet and beautiful melody her ears were blessed to hear. She just let her invisible attendants feed her some exotic foods that she never even knew existed. She also didn't mind them guiding her to a lavatory, where there was a bathtub, the size of a large pond already waiting for her. She nearly slipped into another deep sleep when she stepped inside, the warm water relaxing her muscles while the scent of lavender calmed and eased her mind. After washing her body, her maids oiled and scented her body with vanilla and jasmine while they dried her. She saw as a periwinkle blue robe was extended towards her and Y/N slipped into it, her hands caressing the soft, velvet material, smoothing the folds on her waist and hips.

"Oh mistress! You look so beautiful!" One of them cheerfully exclaimed.

"You're the most beautiful creature we've been honored to serve." Another piped in.

"We're so happy to have you here with us. It shall be a lot more livelier now." She heard someone chuckle.

"I think our job for tonight is done. My lady, please step into the room behind the other door. The master will join you shortly."

Y/N was so filled with bliss and contentment, that she had completely forgotten why she was here in the first place. Recalling her sister words, she begged her maids not to leave her, but they apologized and retreated to who knows where, leaving her by herself once again. Her hand reached for the doorknob, turning it slowly before she stepped into the next room.

Y/N tried to move around in the space, but it was extremely difficult because the room was pitch black. She could barely make out the outlines of the chairs, the bed draped with curtains or the dressers. On the corner, she saw a single window, but the curtains were drawn, and even if it was open, the dark night would hardly help her see any better. Y/N out stretched her arms, grabbing onto the empty void around her to maneuver herself to the bed, where she settled down into, hugging her knees like she did back when her family left her on top of the mountain.

She rocked herself back and forth as many thoughts ran over her mind:

'When will he arrive? Will he be kind or not? What will he look like....

And who was he?'

Y/N rested her hands on her arms that were hugging her knees, her eyes closing, but she wasn't tired at all. She just wished time would speed up faster and someone could explain to her what was going on. She felt a light breeze suddenly pass through the room. Looking up, she saw that the curtains by the window had been moved, pushed slightly open, letting just the dimmest sliver of light pour in, but she still couldn't see anything.

She felt something .....someone else in the room with her. On edge, she quickly sat up from the bed and tried to make way back to the other room.

"You have nothing to fear my dearest Y/N."

She halted at the sound of her name. She was expecting to be called that odious title she was often referred to, but instead, she heard her very own name.

"How....how do you know my name?"

The deep, baritone voice spoke again.

"It wouldn't be fitting for a husband to not know his own wife's name, don't you think?"

Y/N eased slightly at his words but still felt nervous.

"Where...are you?" She took small steps, eyes squinting to see something, anything.

She felt a rush of warmth fill up her body when a gentle hand placed itself on her shoulder.

"I'm right here beside you, where I shall always be."

She didn't tremble at his touch, on the contrary, she relaxed and her fear was suddenly gone. Whoever the stranger was, he slowly turned her around to face him. She could make out a bit of his outline, but still couldn't define any of his features or details.

"Why aren't there any lamps? I can't see you."

Lifting her hand, he placed it on his cheek, his skin feeling as soft as a petal.

"See me with your touch my love."

Her hand delicately traced his features, trying to imagine what he looked like. He had a very sharp jawline, a well defined nose and delicately carved lips that tempted her to reach up and kiss them. She was still confused as to why she couldn't see him though. As if on cue, he spoke:

"I know it must be difficult for you to understand this Y/N. But please don't be afraid of me. I would never hurt you."

Y/N retracted her hand.

"My...my sister said you're a monster."

He chuckled heartedly, his voice full of music and splendor.

"Do I feel like a monster or sound like one?"

Y/N giggled softly, realizing it did seem silly.

"If you're not a monster though......why can't I see you?"

She could feel the man in front of her think about how to answer her. Sighing softly, he took her hand again, holding it with his two hands and running a thumb on the top of it.

"I'm afraid I can't give you the answer to that question yet...."

She felt her heart sink at his words. She lowered her head in disappointment. Not wanting to upset her more, he kissed the palm of her hand and swore:

"Just please trust me Y/N, and I'll promise to love you forever......can you trust me?"

Maybe she was mad or delusional, but in spite of all the mystery surrounding him, she sincerely felt the veracity of his promise and had no doubt in her mind about trusting him. She moved closer to him, accidentally stepping too far and colliding with his firm chest.

"Umph!" Y/N groaned slightly.

He giggled softly at her cute action. He saw as she tried to reach out again to feel him, but instead pulled her hand away.

"You can touch me love."

Her hands once again traced his smooth face, traveling down his neck before resting on his broad shoulders. Although he felt somewhat slim, his body seemed very toned and vigorous. Y/N wanted to drop her hands further but she felt to shy to do it. Once again, he read her mind.

"Y/N....it's ok. We're married." He drew out that last word, more to himself than to her.

Her hands pressed down across his chest. She could tell his tunic was made out of fine linen, even if she couldn't see it. His chest felt strong and sturdy, she bit her lip slightly as she pictured what it would look like in the light, without his garment.

She gasped when she felt him pull her against him, his breath against her lips, just wanting to close the space between them and kiss her. His finger traced the curve of her luscious and plump lips. Although she was content with everything he'd said so far, there was just one more question she had:

"I....... I don't know what to call you."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean....you know my name....but you never told me yours." She pulled away slightly.

He realized she was right. She felt him smile at her as he brought her face close to his again.

"Please call me Yeosang." Her heart fluttered when she heard his name.

Yeosang brushed his lips against hers.

"Trust me my dear. I love you with all my heart."

Y/N melted at his words and before she knew it, she whispered back:

"I love you too....Yeosang."

As soon as she spoke out those words, Yeosang could no longer control himself as he enclosed his lips over hers in a passionate and loving kiss. Y/N blushed at being kissed for the first time in her life, but happily returned the gesture, surprised that she easily could. Even though she couldn't see him, she knew Yeosang was beautiful, ethereal and very kind...

And she was already falling in love with him.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

It had been roughly 4 months into their marriage and Y/N was extremely happy. He'd visit her in the dead of night everyday, as usual, in the pitch black so she couldn't see him, but she had grown accustomed to that. He'd usually leave before she was even awake and before the sun would even start coming out. He'd always leave a red rose by her dresser everyday, attached with a small note filled with terms of endearment and vows of love and adoration for her, always succeeding in making her blush.

Y/N was more than content. Now, whenever she looked in the mirror, she wouldn't turn away nor hate the face she saw. She came to love her appearance now, because there was light and love in it. She was in love, she was loved and there was no greater feeling than that.

During the day, she would either spend time outside in the garden or inside, her maids, or rather, their presence, always keeping her company. She loved listening to their stories about the world she was now a part of, finding them extremely fascinating. They were all so gentle and caring towards her, attending to her every needs and overall staying by her side so she wouldn't get lonely.

"Won't you tell us something about where you are from for once Mistress?"

Y/N was elated, happily telling them all about her home, her family, how she grew up and various other aspects of her life.

"You seem very close to your family Misstress." One of them observed.

"I am. I love them very much, and I have such fondness for my sisters...."

She stopped at the moment. It hit her how she hadn't heard from her family since she got there, nor did they have any idea of her whereabouts or her fate. Her heart suddenly felt sad as she began missing them terribly.

"Mistress is something wrong?"

Y/N quickly plastered a smile back on her face, not wanting them to be concerned at all. Instead suggesting they all play a game together so she wouldn't think about it. But it was futile. Her mind kept thinking back to her family. She missed them more and more. She hardly ate anything else for the rest of the day, instead opting to go to her room rather early, even though it'd be hours before Yeosang got there. She wept silently, her tears staining the pillow underneath her face. She tried to keep a positive and cheerful attitude when he did finally got there, but he could sense that something was troubling his beloved wife.

"What's bothering you my love?"

Y/N sighed softly.

"I miss my family...."

Yeosang tightened his embrace around her, his lips kissing her temple. Y/N nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, drinking in his scent that always calmed and soothed her mind.

"They must be so worried about me. They probably don't even know if I'm alive or not." She continued to pour out her distress.

Yeosang was pensive for a moment, wondering what he could do to help his sweetheart.

"Would you like to write to them? I can have someone give it to them." He offered.

Although Y/N found it kind of him to offer it, more than anything, she wanted to see them.

"I was actually wondering......if maybe they could come see me?" She reluctantly asked.

She very well noticed how Yeosang tensed up. Even in the darkness, she had learned to read his body language and knew he was hesitating about what to respond.

"I......I'm not sure that's a good idea love..."

Yeosang's heart felt when he heard a disappointed sigh escape her lips. It hurt her to see her in such a state. All he wanted was to make her happy. So although there were going to be risks, he agreed.

"They can't meet me. But if you wish, I can have Zephyr bring them here just like he brought you."

Y/N became so happy at the thought of seeing them again. Cupping Yeosang's face, she kissed him fervently, her reaction making Yeosang chuckle.

"Does it really make you that happy?" He questioned as he caressed her face.

Y/N nodded happily.

"So I take it you won't need anything else tonight?"

Well....there was actually one more thing. Y/N bit her lip as she stared up at Yeosang with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Oh.....I see."

Y/N could hear the smugness in his voice, but she didn't care. Not when he lips made her melt, when his hands caressed and fondled her tenderly and especially not when he slid in and out of her in such a passionate and loving way, bringing her into such a euphoric state. Another thing she discovered about Yeosang: he was an amazing lover, she almost felt drunk in his love whenever his body became one with hers.

Yeosang let out a grunt when he spilled himself inside of her, enjoying the feeling of her walls tightening around him as she also reached her own high. Without pulling out, Yeosang bent down to kiss her again, his hand reaching down to press against her stomach.

"I can't wait until you become pregnant with my child. I bet you'll look even more lovely than what you already are."

Y/N felt her face flush at his words. Suddenly feeling confident, she teased him.

"How about we try again? Just in case."

Yeosang sucked in a breath, his hands gripping at her hips.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Y/N's hands clutched at the sheets underneath her, moans slipping out of her lips as Yeosang moved inside of her once again, this time at a more fast and rough pace than before.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Y/N offered more pastries to her sisters. Melia excitedly accepted them, loving how rich and exquisite the foods at her little sister's place were. Amara however refused, her eyes still looking around at the place. She was very put off by how strange Y/N's circumstances were. The weird wind that transported them there, the invisible servants, the fact they could not meet her husband? It was extremely confusing. But most of all, she was insanely jealous of how Y/N was living. Her mansion was 10 times better than hers, the food was of better quality than what was served at her castle and everything was just so much more expensive.

"You seem to be...very happy here." Amara pointed out, her lips pursed tightly.

Y/N couldn't help but smile.

"I'm more than happy. I love it here. And I love my husband."

"Such a shame we couldn't meet him. Do you know when we will get the opportunity?" Melia asked.

"Oh...umm.....the thing is...you can't meet him..." Y/N fumbled with the sash across her dress.

Her two older sisters looked at her incredulously, then they looked at each other with a suspicious look.

"So is it true then? That he's a monster with scaly skin, serpent tongue and sharp teeth?" Melia looked frightened.

Y/N slammed her fist on the table, outraged that they'd dare think such things of Yeosang like that.

"He's not a monster! He's beautiful, absolutely handsome and the most kind being I have ever met!"

Her outburst made them even more curious.

"Then tell me Psyche, what does he look like?" Amara raised an eyebrow.

"It's Y/N! My name is Y/N. And.....I......I don't know! But I just know he's beautiful!"

Melia seemed puzzled.

"You don't know? What does that mean?"

Feeling cornered, Y/N had no choice but to tell them how her husband would only visit her at night, shrouded in darkness and whisper loving words in her ear. That only served to sprout out more questions from her siblings.

"How can you possibly be in love with him if you've never seen him?"

"I just am!" Y/N exclaimed.

"If he doesn't see you during the day, where does he go to?" Amara pressed on.

"I don't know." Y/N answered.

Not wanting to miss the chance to hurt her younger sister, Amara smirked wickedly at her.

"I bet I know where."

It took Y/N a few seconds to comprehend what her sister was implying, but when she did, it only served to further anger her.

" You're wrong. I know What you're thinking and you're wrong. Yeosang loves me!" She was fuming at this point.

Amara however rolled her eyes at her foolishness.

"All right. Let's say he really is as handsome as you say he is. Why must he be so stubborn about not letting you see him nor know where he goes off to?"

Y/ N crossed her arms.

"I don't know. He asked me to trust him and I do".

Melia now seemed concerned for her.

"Psyche... do you not realize that maybe ...... he could be seeing other women while he's away?"

Y/N now froze at what her sister said. Her brain kept telling her not to listen to them, that Yeosang was faithful to her and would never lie to her. But then she remembered how her own sister's husbands behaved and she couldn't help but think if perhaps Yeosang would do anything similar like them.

"No..... it can't be true...."

Amara suspiciously came up behind Y/N, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"If he really did love you.....why would he force you to live with such doubts?"

That was the final drop that made the glass tip over. Y/N had to find out who exactly it was that was sleeping with her every night.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Y/N waited until Yeosang was fast asleep, his breathing calm and serene. Carefully, she peeled herself from his grasp and crept out of the bed and to one of the dressers. She silently took out a candle and match that she had secretly hid inside. Walking as cautiously as she could, she stood by the edge of the bed where Yeosang was. Taking a deep breath, she striked the match and lit up the candle, holding it up so she could finally see him for the very first time.

Her eyes grew wide as she stared into the most beautiful face she had ever seen. He was absolutely glorious. His hair was white like the snow in winter, skin fair like marble ivory, his jawline was chiseled to perfection with a nose that seemed to have been carved to perfection. And he layed there, sleeping soundly with absolutely no clue that she had just betrayed his trust.

"Oh no.....what have I done?"

Y/N was so horrified with herself that she unconsciously tumbled backwards, hitting herself on a piece of furniture. Suddenly Yeosang awoke, his eyes painted with agony once he realized what was happening.

"I.....I can explain!"

But Yeosang simply sat up without a word, already reaching for his tunic. He sighed as he stood up and walked towards the window.

"Please forgive me Yeosang! I beg you!"

Y/N dropped to her knees, tears pouring out her eyes. Yeosang pinched the bridge of his nose, head full of turbulent thoughts that he couldn't place in order.

"Please just say something!" She cried out, desperate to hear his voice.

"I knew it would be a bad idea to let you see your sisters. I knew they'd turn you against me and actually betray me...."

If they were still in the dark, Y/N would have still been able to recognize the hurt and pain in his words.

"I'm sorry Yeosang! I'm sorry for not trusting you! But I kept thinking about their words, they said you were probably visiting other-"

"You could have chosen to not listen to them! No one forced you to believe them! You chose to act on your own accord!".

It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at her, and it boomed all over the room, making her tremble in fear. Yeosang opened the window and stepped out into the balcony.

"No no! Please!"

Y/N ran after him, her hands wrapping around his neck in an attempt to keep him there. Gently, he pried her hands off him, looking somberly at her.

"My mother told me not to trust you. That you were a mortal woman and would never understand me or us, and break my trust. I could never believe that she was right....."

Y/N saw as tears filled on the brim of his eyes.

"But I was too madly in love to listen to her..... I guess I truly did get a taste of my own medicine."

Yeosang made way to leave again, but Y/N held onto him.

"Please don't leave me! I'll die without you! I love you Yeosang!"

Not able to contain his feelings anymore, Yeosang pushed her off him and turned sternly to her.

"Don't.....ever say such lies again...and don't address me so informally you lowly mortal. I am not your equal and I am no longer Yeosang to you..."

Y/N covered her mouth in terror and astonishment when ethereal and shiny wings sprouted from his back, making him look even more heavenly than he already was.

"I am Eros, son of Aphrodite and Ares, the god of love ......... and you......."

He sniffled as tears streamed down his face.

"I can't stay here knowing that I want to hold you..."

Without any other word, speedily flew out of there, disappearing from her sight. Y/N shouted for him, going mad at the thought that she had just lost the love of her life. She was so erratic that she didn't think twice before she flung herself down the balcony, not wanting to live without her love. Unfortunately for her, a large gust of wind stopped her fall, placing her gently on the ground, thwarting her plan.

"Let me die!" Y/N pounded the ground.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Psyche. Aside from being tasked to bring you here, Eros appointed me to make sure no harm should ever come to you."

Although it was supposed to be calming, Zephyr's voice only angered her.

"So I can't even die?!"

Zephyr sent a small breeze, the only physical way of comfort he could bring her since he was invisible.

"Psyche, we both know you don't actually want to die."

"Yes I do! My heart is broken. My love is gone and it's because of my foolishness. I have nothing else to live for!" She declared.

Zephyr sighed.

"My lady....all hope is not lost. I may perhaps.....know a way of helping you."

Y/N perked her ears at his words.

"But first, allow me to tell you a little story, one you don't know about but in which you were the main protagonist."

Y/N watched as a swirl of clouds formed above her, Zephyr trying to make his presence manifested as he began recounting a story:

"Now...it all began when the people began to worship you instead of Aphrodite. I know, we all do you tried to stop them. We weren't blind to it. But Aphrodite is a jealous goddess. She could not stand someone being compared to her. So she sent Eros to you with the task of making you fall in love with a toad or something similar."

Y/N didn't seem too surprised by that. She knew fully well who Eros was and why he was feared even among gods, because no one was immune to his arrows that made them fall in love.

"He came to you one night while you were sleeping. He was so distracted by your beauty that he ended up pricking himself with his own arrow."

Now it made sense to her what he meant when he said he had gotten a dose of his own medicine. She was shocked that this actually happened.

"Eros had fallen in love with you. Curious isn't it, that while you were the most admired woman in the country, no one proposed. Wanna know why? Because Eros stepped in every time, making any suitor fall in love with someone else so they wouldn't take you away from him."

Y/N remembered all those months where no one approached her. Now it all made sense.

"Poor Eros was also begging his mother to let him marry you. But of course, being as stubborn as she is, Aphrodite refused. It became such a quarrel between them that Eros refused to obey her anymore if she didn't agree. Of course, she couldn't have that, so she allowed him to marry you on one condition: your love had to be put to a test....which....I think you know what it was."

Y/N nodded. He asked her to trust him even if she couldn't see him, but she betrayed him.

"Aphrodite probably isn't surprised. She expected it all along. But Eros......he was so in love with you that he put all his faith and trust in your love. And now.....he's probably back home again, moaning and crying just like when he came back that night he met you."

Now the guilt began to eat her up.

"I don't deserve him. I never did. I deserve to die."

Zephyr sighed once again.

"Now now child. As I said. Not all hope is lost. Listen very carefully to me Psyche. Here's what you're going to do."

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Y/N waited for the goddess to arrive. Her fingers fidgeted nervously, playing with the belt on her tunic. She suddenly felt a gush of wind pass by her. Light started to emanate from the ground. Y/N stared in wonder as a powerful entity appeared before her, looking so radiant and angelic that Y/N froze in place before remembering who was standing in front of her. She fell to the ground in honor and respect for the goddess in front of her.

"My goddess Aphrodite. I am your humble servant who has offered sacrifices at your temple and-"

"Oh stop groveling like a little bitch and get up." The goddess sneered at her.

Y/N slowly got up. Aphrodite stepped closer to her, one of her slender fingers tilting her chin up as she closely scanned her rival's face. Bewilderment took over her features, a scoff coming out of her mouth.

"Impressive. Very extraordinary. ..."

She let go of her and backed away.

"Pity though that your eyes are still red and puffy from weeping like a child. It really does not suit you....nevertheless, even I acknowledge you're beautiful and pleasing...."

She crossed her arms.

"No wonder my son is so smitten with you."

Y/N glanced up at the mention of Yeosang.

"Tell me, how is Yeosang? How is my husband."

Aphrodite lifted a hand.

"First of all, you have no right to call him by his birth name. You shall only address him by his godly name you mortals know. And second, he isn't your husband anymore, not after you broke your end of the marriage."

Being reminded of her acts, Y/N once again felt remorseful and ashamed. But she was not about to give up.

"If there's anything I can do to mend things, I'm prepared to do it."

Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

"Yes yes I know very well you are willing to. Zephyr didn't bring you here just for giggles or a cup of tea. And either way, sooner or later Zeus and Hera would have been on my ass about intervening, not to mention that his father wouldn't leave me alone if he saw the state his son was in."

Y/N beamed with joy at the thought of being able to mend things with her love.

"Thank you oh most merciful goddess!" Y/N resisted the urge to throw her hands around the goddess and hug her.

Aphrodite, however, dismissed her thanks.

"Don't get so happy yet foolish girl. I haven't even told you what the tasks are yet."

Beckoning her to follow, Aphrodite lead her through a meadow and deep into a forest. There, she approached a tall laurel tree and pointed at something on the floor.

"Before your eyes, you see a pile of different types of grains. Your job is simple: separate them all and arrange them into piles."

Y/N's jaw dropped at the task.

"That's impossible! It's not simple!"

Aphrodite merely shrugged. "If you truly love Eros, you'll find a way."

She turned away and began walking back to where she came from, but not before telling her:

"Oh and Psyche? You have until sundown to finish."

Y/N knew the goddess was probably laughing by now, already gloating in her failure and inability to finish such a task. She slumped down on the ground and began picking at the grains. They all looked too similar, there was no way to tell them apart. Y/N flung the grains back in the pile.

"It's hopeless..."

She wasn't offered a second chance, she was merely being humiliated for the own amusement of Aphrodite. Y/N couldn't help but wonder if she deserved this....

Suddenly she felt something crawl up on her hand. Looking down, she saw a tiny ant perched on one of her fingers.

"Hello most beautiful mortal. Please don't cry. Let me assure you that this grain will be sorted before Aphrodite comes back."

If Y/N hadn't already seen so miracles and fantasy sightings since she arrived, she would have seriously thought she was insane for thinking an ant was actually talking to her. She watched as thousands of other ants crawled up and began carrying the grains out of the pile, effectively assorting them into neat and tidy piles.

"How are you..?"

The tiny ant let out a squeaky laugh. "This is our specialty my lady. We do this every year."

"But...why are you helping me?" She couldn't understand why they would help her.

"Don't fret about that right now. Leave this all to us and just worry about being reunited with your loved one."

Y/N was touched by their tremendous kindness, thanking them incessantly as they eagerly finished what seemed to not an impossible task for her. True to their word, before the sun set, it was already finished. 5 piles stood in front of her. The ants bid her farewell and good luck for any upcoming tests Aphrodite was going to put on her.

When the goddess came to inspect the work, her eyes nearly bulged out when she saw it was accomplished. Scoffing, she crossed her arms.

"I see you finished it....very well. Tomorrow I shall take you to do the second task. But trust me, you won't get very far."

The goddess was so sure Y/N would never be able to finish them, but she didn't count on the fact someone was pulling strings behind the scenes to make sure Y/N would be successful. When Y/N was tasked to collect the gold fleece from the magical sun rams, the mystery person asked the reeds growing on the riverbank near her, to tell Y/N to wait until the rams left the pasture to fall asleep in a meadow, then she'd be able to collect fleece that would usually get caught on the brambles where they often played or fought in. On her third task, she had to collect water from a pit that was guarded by a fearsome dragon. Y/N dared not approach the beast, but once again, the hidden figure sent an enormous eagle to help her by flying her down the pit while the dragon slept so she could fill up the bottle Aphrodite gave her. Y/N asked the eagle, like she did the reeds and ants, why were they helping her, but all of them remained silent, not answering her question. They only wished her luck and encouraged her to stay determined to win back her husband.

Aphrodite took the bottle in her hands, fury in her eyes as she flung it across the room in pure outrage.

"I don't know what kind of tricks you've pulled to accomplish these tasks so easily, but I will not stand for it any longer!"

Determined to make sure Y/N would never see her son no matter the cost, she declared her last mission:

"You must go into the Underworld and bring me Queen Persephone's beauty cream, the one she makes herself. I was going to go there myself....but you can do it for me."

Aphrodite's eyes did not hide her malice or her hatred towards the poor girl.

"But....no human can descend into the Underworld and return!" Y/N exclaimed.

"Then I guess you shall have to be the first."

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Y/N touched the ground softly as Zephyr dropped her down.

"Psyche listen to me very carefully. There is a way for mortals to go into the Underworld and return alive. But pay very close attention or you'll never see the light of day."

Out of thing air, Zephyr made 2 coins and a loaf of bread apart before her.

"The coins are for Charon. He's the boatman that will take you to the Underworld and will also bring you back. The bread is for Cerberus."

Y/N gulped at the mention of the dog that guarded the gates of the Underworld.

"You mean.....the one with 50 heads?"

Zephyr laughed.

"You humans sure do like to add charm to stories. No Psyche. Cerberus only has 3 heads. He won't do anything to you while going in, it's when you're getting out that'll be the problem. You see, he's not guarding souls from going in, he guards them from leaving."

Y/N nodded, drinking up all the information he was feeding to her.

"When you're leaving, give a piece to each of the heads, it'll put him to sleep long enough for you to get out of there as fast as you can."

"Got it."

Y/N began walking into the foggy mist, trembling slightly as she realized she was about to be in front of the gates of hell very soon.

"Another thing! Accept no food or drink and do not rest at all! Just go in, take the cream and get out. I'll be waiting here for you."

"Thank you Zephyr."

Y/N wandered through the dense and humid mist that blurred most of her vision. She spotted a light looming out of the water and headed towards it. She stopped when she reached the end of the dock and stood face to face with a dark cloaked figure. Its face was completely hidden by the hood, the only thing she could see were its hands that were holding a staff that was no doubt used to row out boat.

"Are you.....are you Charon?"

The cloaked figure simply nodded very slowly.

"Can you take me to see Queen Persephone?"

Charon did not respond either that time, instead he held his hand out. Y/N now could clearly see that his hand was only bone, absolutely no flesh or skin surrounding it. Although startled, she handed one of the coins to him, which he put into a small purse that he kept tied to his waist. He signalled for her to get in. Y/N had some difficulty getting into the boat, slamming down on it, her bum hardly hitting the wood floor. She was sure if Charon was able to, he'd probably be laughing at her. He waited until she was settled into the boat before he began rowing down the Styx river.

Y/N hugged her knees as her eyes scanned everything. So far only the splashing of water and the silent boatman kept her company. And then a foul and putrid stench filled her nostrils, making her want to gag. As she kept looking around, she noticed what seemed to be people standing by another dock, looking pitiful and some even crying.

"They're the souls of people whose families didn't pay the fee or didn't have a burial upon death." Charon spoke up for the first time, his voice sounded hollow and had somewhat of an echo in it.

She understood what he meant. All people usually put a coin under their deceased loved ones tongue as payment for a ride to the Underworld.

"Will they stay there forever?"

Charon let out a raspy breathe.

"They'll stay there for a hundred years before they're allowed to cross over. Our master is not that cruel as you mortals depict him."

Mention of his master sent Y/N into panic. She was about to meet the actual god of the Underworld and his wife. She shivered as she remembered all she was ever taught about him: her teachers often painted him as a cruel, evil and wrathful god that loved tormenting the souls that were sent to him. The only reason he had a wife was because he kidnapped her, only allowing her to spend time in Olympus for half of the year. Y/N feared seeing him.

"This is the end of your journey."

Y/N saw a colossal black door in front of her. She lifted her hand to knock on it, but wondered if it was even possible for them to hear her. She felt someone or something sneeze by her right side so she turned. First there was only a gigantic dog head that soon turned into three, Y/N almost fainted when it began approaching her. This had to be Cerberus. The hellhound merely scanned her, puzzled as to why an alive human would be there. But he went back to his job and used one of his heads to push open the door for her. Y/N was prepared to see a sea of tormented souls being stirred in fire or some other kind of torture, but instead, she walked in a long and regal corridor, much like the one back home in Athens. Everything was decorated in either black or a deep purple color. At the very end, she saw two thrones side by side, black and made out of hard iron and steel. 2 figures sat by them and when she reached close enough, she was face to face with the rulers of the Underworld.

As per custom, Y/N bowed to them, trembling in the process. The monarchs looked at each other in confusion.

"You are not dead nor dying, what business do you have here?" A male voice inquired.

Y/N swallowed harshly, trying to speak but fear made her paralyzed and unable for recall what she was there to do. Noticing how scared she was, the queen stood up and walked over to her. She gently lifted Y/N up, her hand cupping her chin to look at her. Y/N finally had a glimpse of the Underworld queen and she was mesmerized. She wasn't as beautiful as Aphrodite, but her beauty was so haunting and eerie, unlike anything she'd ever seen before. It made her very unique and therefore more interesting in her eyes. Y/N felt self conscious now. She hadn't properly cleaned up or slept ever since Aphrodite had her do all those tasks, so she probably looked like a mess in front of the beautiful queen.

Persephone merely smiled at her, a genuine and kind smile.

"You're Psyche aren't you?"

Her eyes widened at the mention of her name. The man behind her also became curious at him mention of it.

"How do you know who I am?" But Y/N soon wanted to slap herself for asking that. She was a goddess, of course she'd know.

The lady chuckled. "Not everyday one meets a face that rivals Aphrodite's. I've heard so much about you."

She turned back and Y/N assumed she was going to take her place on the throne, but instead, she shocked her when she opted to sit on her husbands lap, her arms wrapping around his neck. He visibly stiffened, and Y/N was surprised to see him......blush?

"So tell me. Has the mighty goddess of beauty sent you here for another task?"

Persephone looked back to see Y/N with a mouth wide open.

"We know all about your endeavors to win your husband back. News reaches here first before it reaches Olympus. Gives a little entertainment to us and our subjects you know."

She waved her hand and instantly a grey and cloudy figure appeared before her, offering her wine or food from a platter. She didn't want to seem rude, but she remembered what Zephyr said and thus refused any of it. Persephone chuckled softly.

"Very smart." Persephone observed. She above anyone knew what eating food from the Underworld would mean.

"So tell me Psyche. What has she sent you here for?"

Y/N began explaining how the goddess wanted some of her beauty cream. Persephone rolled her eyes, knowing all too well how vain Aphrodite was. Her fingers stroked through her husband's hair, puzzling Y/N more. If she was kidnapped and forced to marry him, how could she be so....in love with him? Persephone only took her attention away from her husband when another grey figure brought out a box to her. Thanking the servant, she held out the box to Y/N.

"Take this to Aphrodite and be reunited with your love."

Y/N thanked the merciful queen and walked back, now more happy at the thought of seeing Yeosang again. Persephone watched her with a motherly gaze, feeling somewhat nostalgic.

"You seem to be very interested in that human." Hades' voice broke her trance.

"She's an extraordinary girl if you ask me. And she's doing everything for love."

She smirked as she cupped her husband's face.

"Reminds me of a certain someone who also went to great lengths to win the person he loved the most."

The Underworld God cleared his throat.

"Love makes us do crazy things sometimes." He justified himself.

Persephone nodded and leaned in.

"I know. That's why am going to vouch for her when Zeus holds the meeting."

Hades looked puzzled. "What meeting?"

The queen let out a hearty laugh before kissing his lips.

"Married life has made you lose some of your sharpness my dear lord." She teased.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Y/N successfully fed the bread to the demon hound and made it back across the Styx with Charon's help.

"Thank you Charon." She handed the other coin to him.

"First time anyone has thanked me to the work I do." Although he tried to be neutral about it, Charon's voice had a lighter and more grateful tone to it.

Y/N crossed the swamp again and came back to the meadow where Zephyr had left her. She called me to him, but he did not answer. Y/N sat on the grass and waited for him, growing tired in the process. It had been 4 very long and tiring days and she was beginning to feel the intensity of them. Her eyes began to flutter, trying to stay awake, but tiredness began to overtake her. Her gaze fell on the box she was holding. Feeling curious, she slowly opened the box to peer into its contents. A sudden burst of light shone right in front of her, the power being too much for her and instantly, she fell unconscious on the floor.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Eros sighed softly to himself, the longing for his wife becoming too unbearable.

"Would you please stop that moaning? It's getting on my nerves." His mother said from the doorway.

"I miss her...." He covered his face with the pillow.

Aphrodite scoffed.

"Seriously this lovesick fool."

Eros ignored his mother, all his thoughts were about Y/N and the last time he saw her. He recalled the harsh words he said to her, regretting them so much, each letter feeling like a stab to his heart. Although it hurt him to have her distrust him, it hurt even more to be separated from her. He wanted her back in his arms, he wanted to kiss her, he was going even more insane than the first time when he pricked himself on his arrow.

Suddenly he heard a commotion coming from the living room, with the way a voice roared like thunder, he knew who had just came in. He got up, ready to intervene in case the two individuals in front of him started getting physical. Not noticing him, they just continued their screaming match.

"I've put up with so many of your antics, but this my dear goddess, is low even for you!"

The anger in his father's voice was unmistakable, but it was even more serious than all the other times he'd quarreled with his mother.

"Oh shut up Ares! I did what I had to do for our dear son."

Aphrodite twirled her hair on her finger, batting her eyelashes at her longtime lover, hoping to seduce him and get his mind off the subject, but this time it didn't.

"No, you did this because you're a selfish, conceited and cruel woman! Putting an innocent girl through so many hardships just for your own amusement! Don't you think Psyche and Eros have been through enough already?"

Now it was Eros' turn to make his presence known.

"What about my wife?"

Both of his parents turned to look at him, one in shock at being discovered and one in sad pity for him and his love. Ares crossed his arms.

"Well? Tell him Aphrodite. Tell him all about the tasks you made Psyche do these past days." He challenged her.

Eros looked at his mother, waiting for her to answer, but she kept her lips shut. Getting fed up, Ares spilled everything to him. Eros immediately got worried.

"Where is she now?"

Ares looked to the goddess in front of him as he did not know what the last task was. Gathering some of the rage he inherited from his father, Eros harshly grabbed his mother and shook her.

"Where is my wife?!"

Aphrodite pushed him off her.

"I sent her to the Hades and Persephone."

Eros wasted no time and grabbed his bow and arrow. The Underworld was dangerous even for a God and he knew he had to go get her before anything happened to her.

"Eros! Don't you dare go after her! She isn't your wife anymore!"

Turning back to his mother, he looked at her in defiance.

"She is my wife. She'll always be my wife. I love her.....and I'm going over to her now."

Spreading his wings, he flew as fast as he could to the swampy forest where she had been hours earlier. He asked the boatman if he had seen her, but Charon only said she had completed her voyage and was headed back home. He breathed a sigh of relief, at least she was alive. He flew back to his mansion, bursting the doors open, alarming the servants who were no longer invisible. He didn't spare a glance at them, he simply ran upstairs to his room. Slamming the door open, he saw as Zephyr, now in his physical form was hovering over an unconscious Psyche.

"No..."

Eros ran over to her side, taking her hand in his.

"The power inside the box her majesty gave her is too much for a mortal to bear. I've tried everything, but she still shows no sign of waking up. Her body has also been weak these past days due to exhaustion. ....and heartache." Zephyr said somberly.

Eros spilled tears when finding out all she had been through and how much suffering he had put her through.

"I'm so sorry my darling."

His arms encapsulated her in a tight embrace, almost crushing her from the intensity. Eros sobbed uncontrollably. Zephyr decided to retreat from the room, giving him the space he needed.

Brushing out some of her hair, he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Please don't leave me.." he whispered before pressing his lips against hers.

He heard as she started breathing slowly, pulling away to check on her. Y/N's eyes slowly opened, thinking she was dreaming when she saw her love's handsome face in front of her.

"Yeo- Yeosang?"

His heart started beating faster when he heard her call him by his name.

"Oh Y/N thank Zeus you're all right!"

Y/N held him tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Yeosang I'm so sorry! I should have listened to you but I was so stupid!"

He hushed her, his hands caressing her arms.

"It's ok. I've forgiven you my darling. I don't care anymore. All I want is for us to be together again."

Y/N hesitated.

"Will we be allowed to?"

Clearing his throat, they both turned their attention to Zephyr who came back.

"Even if Aphrodite won't like it, she'll have no choice but to allow you two to be together after a power greater than her allows it."

Yeosang and Y/N looked at him in confusion. Zephyr once again began explaining:

"I'm sure Y/N..." He smiled when he called her by her real name for the first time.

"You've been curious about why so many creatures helped you while you were performing the tasks for Aphrodite."

Y/N nodded, none of them had told her why they'd help her.

"They were all sent by none other than Zeus, who had been watching all this happen and agreed it was unfair of Aphrodite to put you through such hardships."

The couple couldn't believe their ears. The king of the gods himself intervened on their behalf.

"He looks favorably upon your marriage and has even called a meeting to determine if Y/N should be allowed to become an immortal herself."

Y/N's mouth dropped unable to comprehend his words, but Eros was delighted. He could finally be together with his wife for all eternity, not fearing that one day he'd lose her in death because she was human. He felt so grateful to Zeus.

"It shall be put to a vote and needless to say, your mother won't say yes."

Of course they expected that.

"But fear not. There's already many who are willing to vouch for you. Persephone and Hades for example, Ares, Apollo, Demeter and I'm willing to bet that Dionysus will show up drunk and will agree to anything."

They all let out a chuckle at that.

"I'll let you know what the results are. Zeus agreed it'd be better if you two weren't there. He wants a peaceful meeting without Aphrodite throwing a tantrum."

Leaving them alone, the two lovers stared at each other for a while, unable to believe how lucky they were. Y/N reached up to touch Yeosang.

"It's ok Y/N. I'm real and I promise I won't ever leave you again."

His hand cupped the side of her face, thumb drawing circles on her cheek.

"I love you and I promise to love you my heart......

For all eternity."

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

[buckys-black-dress]

campus - bucky barnes x fem!reader (college au)

a/n: hey y’all! so. this is my first ever fic being posted here! i’m super excited to be sharing my work on here :) that being said, thank you for reading! please feel free to share/reblog/leave comments, but please do not repost my work! this lil one shot was inspired by the song campus by vampire weekend. enjoy! - ali

wc: 3.4k

You worked in the evenings at your coffee shop on campus during the week. Being that you went to school in a major metropolitan city, there were endless amounts of students bustling in and out of the shop daily. Day in and day out, it was pretty repetitive. The same kids, stressed, ordering a coffee and snack, and then sitting at a desk or in the upstairs attached library for hours on end, cramming or stressing about some test that was probably the following day. 

But there was one part that always made your day brighter, no matter how horrible your day had been thus far. 

Him.

His dark, long brown hair that looked soft to the touch, his large physique that had you melting in seconds, and his voice. 

He was always kind when he spoke to you, never short or rude. He always took his time to ask you how your day was going, took the time to learn your name, and even sat with you in between customers at the counter. 

Today, it was him sitting through the lunch rush, and while you whirled around the coffee machines and mugs, he watched you and made conversation while you steamed milk for the next latte that was ordered. 

“So, what are your plans for the winter break? Seeing any family?” He questioned, looking down into his own mug of dark brew. 

“Yeah, usually I go up to Canada to see my family there. I miss them a lot around this time of year, can’t wait to see them.” You shrugged your shoulders with a smile. “How about you, Bucky?”

Bucky hummed, wrapping a large hand around the body of the mug and pulled it up to his lips. 

“Yeah, not as far as you, though. Can’t wait to see my ma and sister. Miss ‘em to death.” He matched your grin. 

“Aw, how is she? Doing better now?” 

You recalled one day where Bucky came into the cafe, head hung low. You immediately poured him a cup and sat with him as he talked.

“She’s doing great now, thank God. Would’ve had to take off from school to stay with her if she didn’t, and she’s still so young. No one deserves to be bound to a hospital bed when they’re a kid.” He spoke brightly, glad he could say Rebecca was out of the hospital.

“That’s amazing, Buck! Glad to hear it.” You grinned even brighter than you had before, and Bucky couldn’t help but to stare at the sparkle in your eyes. 

You were a shy girl, and Bucky had initially first seen you in your sophomore art class. For you, it was a core requirement, but Bucky was taking courses aimlessly, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He was at school on a football scholarship, and almost everyone knew him and his teammates. But as soon as he spotted you in that class, he knew he had to get to know you. It was hard at first, he’ll admit. You weren’t quite as responsive to him as he’d hoped, but over time when he would see you more often, he would make more conversation and you eventually warmed up to him.

You never knew what to do with Bucky. At first, you thought he was pranking you when he tried to talk to you. But over time, you let your guard down. You often fantasize about him and what it would be like to be with him. You fell for the side of him that was kind and caring, the soft side. Others saw the big, brawny football player, but that couldn’t be further from who he actually was. 

“You know, you should come to our party tonight.”

You scoffed at that. 

“And why, Bucky, would I do that?” Your tone was incredulous.

“Because, sweetheart, I want you to meet my friends?” The nickname made your heart flutter, beating wildly against your chest.

“I’ve already met Steve and Sam, and as far as I know, no one else is relevant.” You countered.

“I- Well, you’re right, but I want to have fun with you! I never see you outside of work or school.” Bucky’s eyes shone with pleading, basically begging you.

“I… Fine, maybe I’ll drop by after work…” You compromised, but Bucky’s smirk grew. 

“Yes! I’ll see ya at eight, doll, but I gotta head out and help set up.” He tapped the counter and stood up from his stool, flashing you one last smile before heading out the door, the bell ringing above it.

And fuck, you couldn’t wipe that damn smile off your face. 

-

Eight o’clock couldn’t roll around fast enough, and as soon you clocked out of work you practically ran to your apartment. Your roommates were out, so you picked out the best outfit you could put together in half an hour. 

The walk to Bucky’s fraternity house was jittery, your hands shaking uncontrollably, and it wasn’t just because of the frigid November air. 

It was exactly eight. Music was booming, you could literally feel it from the front porch. Not a minute late or early, and you were wondering why you were so nervous. Of course, it was because of Bucky, but also about the prospect of a party. You don’t go to many at all, and to go to a college party was more or less social suicide. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself, let alone in front of Bucky.

You lifted your hand to knock and after a minute or so, the door pulled open. 

And that was definitely not Bucky. 

“You here for the party?” The guy said, a brunet just a bit taller than you, but you could tell he was older than you.

“Uh- yeah-” You barely got out before he pulled you in by the arm. 

“Great, uh, I don’t have too much time for formalities or anything, but drinks are there,” he said, pointing to the kitchen, “and if ya gotta yak, please, for the love of God, do it in a toilet.” He said, leaving you in the middle of the hallway with people stumbling around you, mumbling apologies as you bumped into countless people. 

You felt like looking for Bucky was hopeless, so you stayed by the drinks for a bit, seeing if he’d come by, and after a few minutes, he turned up.

But of course, not alone.

“Y/N! You made it, I was wondering if you bailed on me!” He was basically yelling over the music.

“Oh! Yeah, I made it, I guess.” You tightly smiled, giving a fake laugh.

“Where are my manners! This is Nat, ot Natasha. We’re in the same Human Sexuality course. ‘ve known her since freshman year, can always count on her.” Bucky announced, pulling the interest of the redhead that he walked in with. 

She extended her hand with a smile as you shook her hand.

She’s fucking gorgeous. Of course Bucky’s here with her. Fuck. Why did you think he would hang out with you tonight? 

“So, Y/N, what’s your major?” Natasha asked you, her soft voice pulling you out of your intrusive thoughts.

“I uh, I’m an English Lit major with a minor in Cognitive Psych.” You responded, wanting to be done with this conversation. Done with this whole party, actually, at this point. 

“Oh shit, that’s so cool! I’m just a boring Criminal Justice major,” she answered, taking a sip from her drink.

Suddenly, her eyes lit up, looking at you in shock.

“Buck! Get this girl a drink! She’s just been standing here empty handed!” She slapped his arm, causing him to curse.

“Fuck, Y/N, let me get you something. Any preferences?” Bucky asked, already turning to the counter. 

“Uhm, not really, just no beer. Tastes like shit.” You huffed out a laugh, looking down at your hands until Bucky handed you a cup that was almost full.

“Vodka lemonade, doll, sweet enough where all you taste is the burn.” He smiled a wide smile that made you realize something. Bucky was drunk. 

“Thanks, Bucky.” You smiled and took a sip. He was right, it wasn’t strong at all, but by the time you looked up, Natasha was pulling him back to the dance floor, throwing her arms around his neck and swaying to the beat. His hands almost immediately found her hips, moving at the same pace.

Somewhere deep in your chest, you felt a pang. You knew that of course, you had no claim over Bucky. But you thought that after really getting to know him that there was something between you two.

But seeing his gaze never waver from Natasha, you guess you’d thought wrong. 

Setting your cup down on the counter, you felt a hand land on top of yours, and he spoke before you could.

“Hey, another rule I forgot to mention. Never leave your cup unattended. We try to keep a clean act here, but some assholes always slip through.” It was the same brunet from earlier.

“Oh… I was actually just about to go…” You mumbled.

“Leaving so early? You make me feel like a horrible host!” He yelled dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “Oh God, you don’t even know me, do you?” He questioned.

“I… I’m sorry, I don’t.” You responded, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Well, nice to meet you. I’m Tony, but I prefer ‘Greek God’ or ‘Ruler of the Universe,’ up to ya.” He smirked.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Tony. I’m Y/N.” You shook his hand, looking around. You just wanted to go home at this point.

“So why do you look like someone just killed your cat, Y/N?” He asked, leaning back onto the counter.

“I just… don’t really think this is my scene, I guess.” You shrugged. It was the truth, this wasn’t where you wanted to be on a Friday night. But you came for Bucky, and right now he’s dancing with a gorgeous redhead on the dance floor, while you stand in the kitchen talking to a stranger. 

“I see… have you come to one of our parties before?” He asks, scanning the crowd.

“Uh, just a few with my old roommates, but not too many, but Bucky invited me…” Your words trailed off, spotting him in the crowd, head thrown back laughing at something Steve or Natasha had said. 

“Ah, I see. Bucky.” Tony smirked. “You like him, don’t you?” He questioned.

“What?” You paled, “No! He’s just a friend, we’ve had a few classes together, that’s all.” Your face turned beet red as you looked down at your feet. 

“Listen, Y/N, I don’t know you very well, but I can tell you’re not dumb. If you like him, tell him that. I almost waited too long to tell Pep, but now we’ve been together a whole year and I can’t imagine my life without her. What’s the worst that could happen?” Tony proclaimed, bounding away and pulling a strawberry blonde girl, who you’re assuming is ‘Pep.’

And although Tony’s word instilled an unusual wave of confidence in you, what you were met with when you turned your head towards Bucky made it disappear into thin air.

There he was, in all his long-haired, muscly glory, kissing Natasha. 

Oh.

Alright.

Your mind was blank, and before you knew it you were out of the house and running back to your apartment, ignoring your roommates calling you from the couch as you held back tears. 

Of course Bucky would never go for someone like you. 

-

Waking up and having to go to class on Monday was a feat on its own. But going to work?

Impossible.

You had been avoiding going on campus all weekend, although you had to go in for a studio hour. But all in all, you managed to avoid Bucky. Thank God you didn’t have to work on weekends. 

But alas, Monday came, and Monday meant work. 

And work meant Bucky.

You took your time clocking in and pulling on your apron in the back and as you emerged, you were met with tons of customers waiting in line.

No Bucky yet. 

Hm. 

An hour into your shift, you’re whirling around behind the counter, completing orders, when he walked in. Bucky quietly sat himself down at the countertop and waited for you to greet him with a mug of hot coffee and a smile.

All you could manage was a tight, rushed smile while placing the mug in front of him haphazardly. 

Bucky’s brows furrowed as you kept up your work, not even stopping to speak a word to him. He waited and waited, but you kept to yourself and served the countless students that walked into the cafe. 

Needless to say, Bucky was confused. 

“Hey, Y/N?” He finally piped up after almost two hours of watching you. 

“Oh, yeah, need something James?” You asked, focused on pouring the right amount of milk into a cup. 

James.

You never called him James.

“Uh, no. Just wanted to ask you if everything was alright?” Bucky inquired, hoping you’d give him something. 

“Yeah, just working.” You replied shortly. 

“Oh. Alright, doll.” Bucky took the hint, you thought. 

But he still sat there until you got off your shift, which is exactly what you did not want. 

While walking out of the cafe, you didn’t even look in Bucky’s direction. You walked right out, and by the time he saw you leaving he was sprinting out of his seat, but you had disappeared into the crowd of people walking about. 

The next day was more of the same. Bucky sitting and waiting, and you sneaking out to avoid him.

On Thursday night after work, you waited for the elevator in your apartment building, and just as the doors were about to close, a tall, burly blond slid his way in.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” He nodded down at you.

“Hi, Steve.” You muttered, looking down at your shoes.

“How ya been? Haven’t seen you around that much lately.” He asks.

“Oh, just busy with work and school, finals and stuff are coming up.” You answered, pursing your lips. 

“Yeah, Bucky’s been mentioning that he hasn’t spent time with you in a while. You should talk to him.” He looked at you. 

“Steve, are you here on behalf of Bucky?” You asked, anger raising inside you.

“Well, no, not really. My girlfriend Peggy lives on the 13th floor, so I gotta head out, but just… talk to him, Y/N? He misses you, I think.” Steve punctuates his sentence with the elevator doors sliding shut and leaving you with your thoughts.

-

Of course, you didn’t follow Steve’s advice. You didn’t know how to really act around him now, but you didn’t want to completely cut him off. 

So the following week had been a bit of the same, but Wednesday came, and that’s when it all blew up in your face. 

After work, you snuck out from the back, but the alleyway that was usually empty had one single person there, waiting for you.

“Hey doll, can we talk?” 

Fuck.

“Uh, yeah, sure what’s up?” You asked, standing a mere distance from him. 

“It’s just… why have you been avoiding me?” Bucky sounded unsure, like he was crazy.

“Bucky, I’ve just been busy, I’m sorry-” You started, but he wasn’t having any of it.

“Y/N, please. It’s been almost two weeks and you haven’t said more than five words to me. Did something happen? Did I upset you somehow?” He sounded desperate, like he was really trying. 

But all your mind could think of is him that night. His arms around Natasha, his lips attached to hers. 

And then it went to all of the moments you two shared. Hours of conversations, pet names, talking about everything under the sun.

“Bucky, I just… I don’t understand.”

“What, what don’t you understand, doll?” He was pleading with you here. 

“That party… why did you invite me?” You carefully asked.

Bucky looked confused now. “Because I wanted to hang out with you and have fun?”

You shuffled your feet against the gravel, scoffing at yourself.

“So why did you spend the whole night making out with Natasha?” You asked, pretty boldly if you would admit it to yourself. You were never one for confrontation, but Bucky had put you in a corner. 

“I… doll… I’m sorry, ya gotta believe, it was never my intention to make you feel unimportant,” Bucky’s eyes flashed with realization at what he’d done, “I was drunk out of my damn mind because Tony was pregaming and… I’m sorry, Y/N.” Bucky bowed his head in shame. 

“Just… was I all a game to you? Someone who was just there to comfort you when you needed it? Did I… ever mean anything more to you?” Your voice was meek.

“Y/N, please, look at me.” Bucky’s hand found your cheek, tilting your head up. “You are the sweetest, kindest, most intelligent person I’ve met in my entire life. There is no one else like you.” He spoke passionately. 

“Then… why can’t I be enough?” Tears pooled in your eyes. “Why can’t I be the one you hold when you dance?” Why can’t I be the one who gets the guy?

“You have to believe me, I was drunk, Y/N. I know that’s no excuse, but I’m so, so, so sorry. I was just afraid. You’re always so quiet, I never know how you’re feeling, so I just assumed you weren’t interested in me the way I was interested in you. I thought I was chasing a dead end.” He confessed.

By now, fat tears were running down your face, being gently wiped away by Bucky's large thumbs. 

“I just- I know I don’t talk much, but I always talk to you. It was so hard for me to open up to you and when I saw you with Natasha I just… I thought I had driven you away. I thought you’d found someone better because I wasn’t enough for you.”  You barely choked out the words.

“Sweetheart, you are more than enough for me. I come and sit with you at work for hours just to hear you talk. I just didn’t know how to tell you without freaking you out.”

By now, the both of you were crying, trying to understand how you got here.

“I’m sorry, Buck. You’re just so different. I never thought someone like you could like someone like me.” 

“Doll, please. I wouldn’t shut up about you to Steve, he was going insane.” Bucky cracked a smile, thumbing at your cheek still.

You giggled at that, sniffling. 

“Look at us. Two big idiots, huh?” You laughed.

“The biggest idiots. But I think I’ll be an even bigger idiot if i don't do this.” He  mumbled.

“Do what?”

Before the question could leave your lips, his mouth was on yours, capturing it in a sweet kiss that you didn’t even know you were longing for. 

After coming out of your daze, your eyes fluttered open when Bucky pulled away.

“What was that for?” You breathily asked, bringing your fingers up to your lips. 

“It was to show you how sorry I am. I wanna take you out and show you off, Y/N. I wanna make you my girl. Whaddaya say?” Bucky was smiling, but you could tell he was nervous.

“Sure, Buck. I’ll be your girl. But you gotta take me out for dinner first.” You smirked, clutching Bucky’s face in your hands. 

“I’ll take ya wherever ya wanna go, sweetheart. I’d take you to the moon if you wanted.” 

[amazingmsme]

Would You Be Ever So Kind?

AN: Wow this took ages but I finally finished my first Twin Peaks fic! I can’t recommend this show enough, it’s suspenseful, funny, eerie, & just all around a great time! My man Cooper is adorable okay, I just know he’s a huge lee don’t judge me. This is a heftier one shot (just over 5k) cause I added some plot! Hope you enjoy the fic!

Cooper was stressed, there was no doubt about it. Windom Earle was always one step ahead it seemed, and closing in. His dreams weren't providing much help and it felt like he kept running into dead ends.

Since Major Briggs's return, he'd been enamored with the White Lodge. He could feel it's influence, though barely so. It was like he was standing on a beach, barefoot, information and enlightenment lapping at the tips of his toes. So close, yet it pulled back before it even reached his ankles. Teasing him. Dangling the answers right in front of him, but just out of reach. He needed to know what he needed to do to take that final step into the pool of knowledge that laid before him.

Right now, he sat in the conference room with Hawk. He stared at the other man with his usual perceptive gaze.

"If one were to... connect with the White Lodge somehow, how would they go about it?" he asked.

Hawk shifted in his seat as he thought for a moment. He tilted his head, pondering the question. Finally, he spoke. "It is rare to do so without being invited. But not impossible. I believe if you tried, someone with your unique sensibilities might be able to manage it."

Cooper's brows raised and he leaned forward in his seat. "How?"

Hawk shrugged. "The few I've heard of said they had experienced great joy. A mother who found out that she would soon have a grandchild. A man who proposed to his girlfriend. A boy who rode his first roller coaster. They had all experienced intense, positive emotions and the following night, had strange, yet peaceful dreams. Dreams that held answers to certain questions they had."

Cooper nodded, hanging on every word. "And how would I go about triggering these- positive emotions?"

Hawk smirked and shook his head. "I don't know, why don't you propose to someone?"

It took him a second, but his own lips quirked into a smile. He wagged a finger at him, "That was a joke, wasn't it?" Hawk chuckled softly.

"Yeah, it was. But I don't know Cooper, try and do things that make you happy. Take a break, maybe go on a walk to clear your head. Maybe go have some of that pie you love so much," he suggested. Cooper made to stand, grabbing his things.

"Will do Hawk, I shall try these methods as I brainstorm other activities that might induce such happiness." He gave him a tight lipped smile and a quick thumbs up before heading out.

He did end up trying Hawk's suggestions, but with little success. He had even eaten as many slices of pie as he could until he felt like he would burst. All it resulted in was a belly ache that plagued him the rest of the night until he fell asleep. With no strange peaceful dreams, he might add.

The next day he had started jotting down every positive emotion he could think of.

Joy Excitement Happiness Fun Funny Love...

Upon second thought, he marked that last one out. It had only brought him heartache and agony that still plagued him.

Hm. That was a shorter list than he thought it would be. Now was the matter of finding ways to trigger said emotions... He started to think that perhaps this wouldn't be as easy as he had thought. He pulled out his tape recorder.

"In my efforts to reach out to the White Lodge, I have discovered that intense feelings of happiness can bring about interesting dreams. In doing so I have also come to realize that such levels of joy are... unattainable with conventional methods. As it turns out Diane, it will take a lot more than eating five pieces of pie and petting a rather cute dog. I plan to stop by the library and pick up some literature on the psyche of happiness." He clicked the recorder off.

He'd spent the first half of the day doing as he'd said. It was much more boring than he'd anticipated. But at least he'd gleamed some information from his impromptu study session. Joy was triggered by certain chemicals in the brain, and certain stimuli releases them. Exercise was a common method, but it wouldn't be enough for the level of happiness he needed to reach. One thing that might prove to be more effective was laughter.

Laughter seemed to really be the best medicine, or at least that's how the books made it seem. Though just laughing for no reason wouldn't cut it. He needed a reason to laugh: something to make him happy. For him, that was enough to go on.

He arrived at the sheriff's station, pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee and stepped into the foyer where Andy was hopelessly trying to flirt with Lucy. She'd humor him occasionally, but Cooper knew she liked watching him struggle for her affections. She'd even told him so.

"Yes?"

"Well Andy, to be honest I believe you're the happiest one in here," he started. He lit up like a Christmas tree at the

"You really think so? Well that's awful kind of you to say."

"How do you do it? What keeps you in such a good mood all the time?" he asked. Andy shrugged.

"Well gee, I don't know. I guess I've always been this way. I try not to overthink things, my mama said people who do aren't very happy," he said. Cooper hummed in thought and nodded. "I just try to appreciated the little things in life, like the woods and all of you," he said honestly. Cooper wasn't expecting that and felt a warmth grow in his chest Hmm. He supposed he meant something to these people, after working together for so long, but hearing it aloud was nice to hear. Within his work, he was rarely shown appreciation least of all open affection. It felt nice.

His expression softened and he gave him a small but genuine smile. "Thank you. I appreciate you too," he made sure to let him know the feeling was mutual. He went into the empty conference room and grabbed one of the stacked donuts. He took a moment to admire the organized arrangement, noting how a few stacks of two were short one or were gone completely. He pulled out the tape recorder, pressing the button down and talked into it.

"After studying at the library, I now find myself at the sheriff's office. I briefly spoke with Andy about what makes him happy, and he gave the the sage advice of appreciating the little things in life. I know people often say to do so, but people rarely follow through. I'm trying to be better. I stand here looking down at the conference table that has donuts laid out on sheets of paper towels. Donuts are stacked two atop each other, and there are two rows of twelve. Lucy sets this up for us every night before she leaves. I never really gave much thought about how much time she puts into doing this... I find my talk with Andy was rather helpful. I will continue to try and do as he suggested."

He clicked it off and grabbed a donut, taking a bite. He took out his note pad and tapped his pencil against his chin. He started writing down things he liked or that made him happy. He started by listing off names, followed by animals and food. He even wrote down his favorite kinds of trees. Surprisingly, he found he felt lighter after doing so. A soft smile graced his features as Harry walked in.

"Hey Coop, what's got you all smiley?" he asked, his own lips quirking up upon seeing the other man in a good mood. He held up the page.

"Oh nothing, just listing down some things that make me happy. Hawk told me a few instances of people who were able to connect with the White Lodge after experiencing immense joy. I did some reading and found that certain chemicals can cause such emotions. I just need to find a way to trigger them," he explained. Harry hummed in thought, and gestured to the list.

"May I?" Cooper nodded and handed it to him. He skimmed through it, a soft smile of his own appearing on his lips.

"I make you happy?" he asked, dimples shining.

He nodded, tilting his head down shyly. "You all do. You each have such unique and charming qualities."

"Well, uh, thanks. That means a lot coming from you. I don't know anyone else who's more unique and charming," Harry said. Then he cleared his throat and looked back down at the list. "Nature seems to really make you happy. You get a chance to try out that lure yet?" he asked to change the subject.

Cooper shook his head. "No, I've been so busy I haven't had the time," he admits.

"Well, it's a pretty slow day for once. I figure I can take some time to help in your efforts," Harry said, as though he didn't just want to leave work and go fishing. Cooper smiled brightly at him.

"I'd love that," he said earnestly. "Allow me to swing by my room and change." The sheriff nodded.

"Sure thing. I'll meet you by the trail just past the waterfall," he said. After jotting a few more things down, Cooper leaves for the Great Northern. He changed into his jeans and pulled on a flannel. He talked into the recorder as he buttoned his shirt.

"Don't get me wrong Diane, I do enjoy my suit. But sometimes it just feels better to wear something more comfortable." He clicked it off and went to the mentioned trailhead. Harry was already waiting for him, fishing gear in tow.

Cooper furrowed his brows as a smile pulled at his lips as he looked at the sheriff. What was that God awful thing on his head? He let a few snickers slip out as he parked.

"Interesting hat ya got there," he mused, making Harry grin.

"You like it? My lucky fishing hat," he said, pointing up at it. He nodded, not bothering to hide his grin.

"Lucky huh? We'll see about that," he said, taking a pole from his grasp.

"What you don't like it?" he asked teasingly.

"Aú contraire. I find it quite amusing," he said with a wide grin. He reached up and flicked one of the dangly rubber tassels from a lure.

It was a floppy bucket hat, tan in color and adorned in tacky bright lures. Harry was grinning ear to ear, adding to the goofiness of his look. It was impossible not to smile at him. He swatted Cooper's hand away with a short laugh.

"Let's just get down there while the fish are still biting," he joked, punching him in the arm lightly. Cooper beamed as he followed him down the dirt trail. It didn't take too long before they were at the water's edge and found a fallen tree to sit on. Harry opened his tackle box, pulling out a folded throwing net to catch some live bait. Cooper watched as he tossed the net into the water over a school of minnows, pulling it back to them  and dumping them in the bait bucket. They each reached in and grabbed a fish, piercing it on the hook to cast it back into the water. Now, they wait.

They exchanged fishing stories, going back and forth as they waited for a bite. Harry's line was the first to go taught and he snatched up his rod to start reeling. Just as his fish was getting close to the bank, Cooper's own fishing pole began to dip slightly from a few tentative nibbles. Just as Harry reeled it in all the way, Cooper's line shot off and he quickly started reeling as well.

He unhooked the big mouth bass, inspecting it with a proud gaze. "Hell yeah, this'll cook up nicely," he said, placing it in the cooler he brought. Cooper's fish was putting up more of a struggle. He leaned back with all his body weight, biceps flexed and straining as he fought the fish. "Seems like you caught a lively one," Harry said. Cooper spared him a glance and a tight lipped smile; he would've definitely flashed him one of his signature thumbs up if he wasn't preoccupied.

After about 20 minutes he managed to bring the river monster in. It was a large male salmon, easily identifiable by the bright red coloring and large back hump that occurs during mating season. It was well over three feet and flopping on the bank. It seemed that trout weren't the only ones attracted to a green butt skunk.

At first, Cooper didn't know what to do with a fish this size. He placed his hands on it to lessen its flopping before straddling it. Placing one hand on its head to keep it pinned, he held his other out to Harry. "Pliers," he asked for the tool and he gifted it to him. Just as Cooper wrapped his hand around it, the salmon raised its ugly head up and bit his hand. When it flopped back down it yanked his arm down with it.

"Ow-hey!" Cooper exclaimed, steadying himself and smacking the top of its jaw until it released him. He pulled back his slightly bloody hand and removed the hook. He looked to his side and saw Harry stifling his laughter. "Yes I'm fine, thanks for your concern," he sassed, but the amused grin on his face let him know he was only teasing.

Harry was just short of cracking up. "Ihi'm sohorry, you okay?" he asked, grabbing some bandages.

"Yeah, just a few puncture wounds. Nothing I can't handle." He managed to pick up the still struggling fish and brought it back to the water's edge.

"After all that trouble, you're not keeping it?" he asked. Cooper shook his head and released it, watching it leave with a splash.

"Nope. Anything that puts up that hard of a fight deserves to live another day. Besides, I don't really have anywhere to cook it, and I'm not real big on salmon," he explained. He rinsed his wound and accepted the clean bandages, wrapping it up nice and tight.

"How very sporting of you," Harry said, and he meant it. He recast his rod as Cooper pulled out his recorder.

"Thank you," he said, flashing him a smile. "Update on the fishing. I just caught a large salmon and in the process of unhooking it, it bit me. Despite my tired arms and punctures, I found the experience enjoyable. It was... thrilling but not in the sense that I'm accustomed. It was a mundane excitement. Perhaps this feeling is what will help me contact the White Lodge."

He clicked it off and found Harry studying him. "Mundane excitement, huh?"

He nodded. "My line of work is often exciting, but the stakes are always higher. I find it refreshing to feel a rush of adrenaline when mine or someone else's life isn't on the line."

Harry shifted a little closer. "You really think this feeling might be what gets you to the White Lodge?" he questioned.

"I do. But I don't think it's one particular event or emotion that will get me there. From what I've read the optimal amount of endorphins and serotonin come from a range of feelings. Based on my study session at the library, I'd say that a mixture of excitement and laughter would be my best bet," he mused aloud.

"Too bad there's no comedians in town, I bet that would do the job," Harry mused. Cooper allowed himself to smirk.

"I suppose if I stare at that hat long enough, I just might burst into giggles," he said in a teasing manner. Harry's jaw dropped at the playful insult.

"Hey don't dis the hat!" he exclaimed, a hand flying up to cover the top of it protectively.

"Don't worry, it was more of a jab at your taste in fashion," he said good naturedly.

"I'll have you know that's worse. When did you get so sassy anyway?" Harry asked. He chuckled and poked his side in retaliation. The corner's of Cooper's mouth twitched as he flinched away.

"I can have my moments. I do spend a lot of time with Albert," he mused, rubbing the slight tingles from his side when suddenly it hit him. There really was no easier or faster way to pump his body full of adrenaline and endorphins, even if the reaction was more forced than voluntary. The results would be the same, wouldn't they? His eyes widened at the realization.

He clapped his hands together loudly, making Harry jump. "That's it!" he exclaimed, excitement showing on his face from his revelation.

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. "What- Albert?" he questioned, not following Cooper's train of thought. He shook his head, smiling now that he finally had an answer to his dilemma.

"No, tickling," he clarified. Harry cocked his head, a smirk on his lips. He was intrigued.

"Didn't know you were ticklish Coop." If Harry squinted, he thought he could see the hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"I am, and it's a good thing because right now, it's the only thing I can think of that might work to get me to the White Lodge. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy fishing, but the bite did put a damper on my mood," he grumbled, glaring at his bandaged hand. You could start to see blood seep through the white cloth.

"So a last resort kinda thing?" Harry asked. And was Cooper crazy, or was he a little closer? Cooper nodded.

"Exactly. So uh, would you be so kind as to..." he trailed off, and in lieu of finishing his sentence he wiggled his fingers in the air, hoping he got the message. Oh he got it all right. Sheriff Truman was grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

"To tickle you?" he asked for clarification. The ghost of a blush on Cooper's cheeks darkened. "Yes that." Suddenly Harry was straddling his legs, pushing him down the rest of the way.

"Ya don't have to tell me twice!" he exclaimed.

"You don't have to seem so eager," Cooper said, already squirming. It was the last coherent thing he said before Truman's fingers began prodding his sides. He gasped and soft snickers began to fill the air. There was no point in trying to hold back; he'd be laughing soon enough regardless, and the whole point of this was to create the right concoction of emotions and chemicals in his brain to reach the White Lodge.

Harry kneaded his sides and Cooper yelped, hands instinctively shooting down to protect his sides. You'd think with all his special training that he'd be defending himself better, but he was only weakly slapping at his hands. To be fair, he was practicing a lot of self restraint by not just crawling into the river to save himself.

"You got a nice laugh Coop, ya know that?" Harry asked with a genuine smile. Cooper nodded, mouth open in a wide grin as laughter flowed freely from his mouth. "Ihihihi've been tohohold!"

"Whoa now, I can't have you going all cocky on me like that. Guess I'll just have to knock you down a peg," he teased, walking up his ribs. He shook his head and snorted, nose scrunched as Harry scratched between each rib. The higher his fingers climbed, the louder and more frantic his giggling became.

Just as Harry reached the top of his ribs, he stopped. Cooper sighed in relief, thinking he might be done. He wasn't so lucky.

"Do me a favor and lift your arms up," Harry said, not even trying to hide his mischievous smirk anymore. He curled in on himself, chuckling nervously and shook his head.

"Nohoho," he giggled, wrapping his arms around himself. Harry cocked his head, arching a brow.

"No?" he asked in amusement. Cooper shook his head again to confirm.

"And why not?" he asked, hands on his hips. The sight alone made Cooper feel giddy with anticipation.

"Ihi'm not supid Harry, I know you'll just tickle me more," he answered with a wide smile. Harry snorted out a short laugh.

"I know you're not. And I promise I won't," he said, hiding his crossed fingers behind his back. Cooper gave him a skeptical look. "That's a lie."

"Hey I said I'd promise! Have you ever known me to break a promise?" he tried to convince him. He eyed the sheriff up and down and decided there was a 50/50 chance he'd just attack again, and this little game of theirs was fun, he had to admit. So he took that chance, already knowing the outcome.

He lifted his arms slowly, tentatively as he watched the other carefully. His arms were halfway above his head when Harry smirked down at him, flashing his crossed fingers out from behind his back. Cooper's eyes widened and he moved to bring his arms back down, but alas, it was too late. He immediately darted for his exposed hollows, scribbling over the shirt clad skin. His flannel didn't offer much protection and he was soon thrown into deep hysterics.

His arms came crashing down, laughter freely escaping his smiling mouth. He only succeeded in trapping his hands, however he knew better than to try raising his arms a second time. "You lihihihahar!" he squealed. Harry smirked and picked up the pace, grinning wider when the agent's high pitched giggling turned more frantic.

"If you cross your fingers it's a freebie," he claimed. Cooper shook his head, grappling to shove his friend's hands away.

"Thahahat's such bullshihihit!" he called him out. And yeah, it was bullshit, but Harry couldn't let him get away with saying it was.

"Think you just sealed your fate Coop," he teased, kneading his belly and sending him into a steadier stream of giggles.

"Nohoho dohohon't!" he whined, legs kicking weakly, or rather, weakly for a special agent like himself. Harry scoffed, not even trying to hide how much fun he was having.

"Don't? Don't what?" he asked, drumming his fingers. Cooper's giggles sputtered out as he shook his head, fist pounding against the ground.

"Ihihi'm nohohot falling for thahat one," he forced out through his laughter.

"Falling for what? I can't know what not to do if you won't tell me," he said, sounding so innocent that you almost wanted to believe him. Almost. Cooper wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Dohohon't mahake it wohohorse!" he pleaded. Harry shook his head in "defeat" and clicked his tongue.

"Damn, I was really hoping you'd fall for that," he lamented, hands moving down to squeeze his hips. Cooper convulsed, jolting up slightly and trapping his wrists. They held each other's gaze for a moment, Cooper's eyes full of an excited kind of fear while Harry's shone with an evil sort of mischief.

"Bad spot?" he taunted, giving another squeeze. He evoked the same reaction as before, but this time with an added squeak. Cooper went completely still, cheeks rosy as he gasped for breath. There was no use in lying, he'd be proven wrong anyway. He nodded shyly, looking anywhere but Harry's smug face.

"Good." He immediately drilled his thumbs into the divots of his hips as he gently squeezed them with the rest of his hand. Cooper instantly burst into a tidal wave of cackles that drowned out the sounds of nature around them. Even when thrown in hysterics, it was still a joyous, beautiful sound. It was smooth and had a deep tenor to it that made you feel warm inside. His nose crinkled adorably, and his mouth was open wide in a constant smile, allowing his melodious laugh to ring through the air.

“How ya holdin’ up?” Harry asked just to check in. Cooper was too busy laughing his heart out to answer with words, so he flashed him a thumbs up instead. He shook his head and chuckled at his signature gesture.

Encouraged by his reassurance, he continued his journey downward by squeezing his thighs. Cooper snorted loudly and his blush darkened.

"Aw Coop, I didn't know you snorted! Do it again," he taunted, pinching and scribbling his thighs until he snorted again.

"Nohohooo," he whined in embarrassment, hiding his face in his hands. Harry was having the time of his life.

"Remember bud, you asked for this," he reminded smugly.

"Ihihi knohohow! Shuhut up!"

"I don't think I will. In fact, I think teasing makes it better, don't you agree?" he asked, scratching along his inner thighs. Cooper squealed and clamped his legs together to protect himself.

"Ihihihi said shuhuhut uhuhup!"

"I'll take that as a yes then," he smirked, and even winked at him. Oh he would never live this down. Not if Harry could help it.

He started skittering his fingers atop his knees, and Cooper shrieked, legs kicking out frantically. "Nohohot thehehere!"

Sheriff Truman didn't listen and instead squeezed around his kneecaps. Cooper tried to curl in on himself, laying back on the ground when he failed due to laughing too hard. Though when Harry went to scratch the backs of his knees, he barely laid a finger on him before a fist connected with his face.

Harry recoiled and grabbed his bleeding nose, letting out a pained chuckle. "Damn, ya got me good Coop," he said, still managing a smile. A hand covered Cooper's mouth from shock.

"I am so sorry Harry! I tried to refrain from hurting you, but my instincts took over," he quickly apologized. Harry shook his head, grabbing his other hand and pulling him up to a sitting position.

"Heh, it's okay. Guess I got what I deserve," he mused. His nose had already stopped bleeding, but it left a thin trickle above his upper lip that he wiped away.

"You were just helping me out," he said, patting his shoulder. "Thanks by the way," he said, cheeks still tinged pink.

"Any time," he said with a warm smile. "So, did you have as much fun as I did?" he asked teasingly.

"I'm not answering that," Cooper said, looking away. Harry barked out a laugh.

"I think you did." The FBI agent only hummed. Harry spotted his tape recorder and nabbed it.

"Hey give it!" Harry held him back by placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away as he pressed the record button.

"Hi Diane, Sheriff Truman here. I think it's safe to say Agent Cooper will be successful in his resilient efforts to reach the White Lodge. That's all." He turned it off, wearing a smug grin.

"Proud of yourself?" Cooper asked in amusement.

"Oh very. It's not every day that I get to reduce the famous Agent Cooper to a giggly mess," he said, wiggling his fingers at him. He subtly curled in on himself, chuckling nervously.

"R-right. And it won't be a daily occurrence, unless you want retaliation," he warned.

"We'll see about that," he smirked. They were both distracted by a tug on Cooper's line. He grabbed his fishing rod and started reeling it in.

When they returned to the sheriff’s office, Andy gasped seeing Truman’s swollen, bruised nose and Cooper’s wrapped hand.

“Good lord you two did you get in a fight or somethin’?” he asked with concern. Harry smirked and nodded, casting a glance towards the agent. 

“You could say that.”

Cooper quickly stepped in before he could reveal anything too embarrassing. “Nonsense, I got bit by a fish and his line broke when he was reeling one in and he smacked himself in the face with the fishing rod,” he easily lied. Harry’s smirk grew as he hummed in “agreement.”

~~~~

That night, Cooper had a peaceful yet strange dream. He opened his eyes to find he was laying on a white fainting couch. At first he thought he was in a room, but upon inspecting his surroundings, he realized he was in a vast open plain. The floor was marble tile and the empty space around him looked to be white at first glance, but was in fact an extremely pale pink.

Out of the nothingness walked Laura Palmer. Instead of the low cut black dress she normally wore in his visions and dreams, she wore a white flowing gown. It billowed behind her even though there was no wind. Cooper sat up on the chaise lounge and stared at her as she approached.

"Windom Earle is not the biggest threat," she spoke softly and clearly, her voice like a bell. It was strikingly different than her Black Lodge counterpart. "The other you is." He leaned forward in his seat.

"The other me?" he asked. She nodded, a halo of light illuminating her from behind.

"In another world he escapes. Use your second chance wisely and leave the Black Lodge before he does," she advised.

"How can I do that?" he asked, soaking in every piece of knowledge she offered up.

"The Black Lodge is disorienting. You must not show even an ounce of fear or self doubt. In that other world, you did not leave until 20 years later. In another, the Lodge annihilated your soul." Cooper stared at her intently.

"And how do you know these things won't happen again?" he asked.

"Because infinite universes bring infinite possibilities. Use the tools I gave you and you will receive a different outcome," she said. Laura walked up to him and cupped his face in her hands, placing a kiss on his forehead. She leaned in and whispered, "Thank you for giving me justice."

"You're welcome," he said back. His vision faded to white, then to pitch darkness. He jolted awake with a gasp, reeling from everything he had learned. His chest heaved and he reached for the recorder on his bedside table.

"Diane you won't believe it, but I just had the strangest dream..."

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight: They Are Cryin'

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"Fuck."

It wasn't a painful awakening; she actually felt damn good. Clearer, like the tiny neurons in her brain fired without a jolt of pain. The sweet moment of clarity after the removal of an infected tooth. Bliss. If only a familiar face could loom over her, a happy embrace of the one she loved. A blissful reunion.

The aging woman who looked over her with a sour expression erasing her gratitude and any field of butterflies illusion. Along with the confusion of waking up in unfamiliar territory.

Right, she was dying just a moment before.

"Where am I?"

This sloppily white-painted interior was not part of the shopping center she recognized. The medical machine that counted out her vitals was also out of place, but that was a minute detail. Jane had woken up from the dead once already, just not inside of a shipping crate. Make that one low she had not yet met.

"Just outside of London," the woman's scowl relaxed, "you're with the Special Operations Biotic Company. Luckily for you, I understand you had a rattled implant."

Her hand was grabbed before she felt her spirits utterly bottom out, the woman's dark brown eyes peering out at her from behind black and white streaked hair. A moment of shared pain passed between them before Jane could not manage to keep up the contact, "how about the LT? My home?"

"The latter is in one piece. I'm not familiar with the person you speak of," the lady spoke gently, "you were rushed here after an injury. But let me introduce you to the person that saved your life, Doctor Balcan."

Jane's gaze shifted to the person arriving on the other side of her bed, the most beautiful creature she had ever beheld. Dark brown hair and eyes loomed over her; the soft smile set upon full brown lips looked perfectly primped without a touch of makeup. The simple doctor's smock hung perfectly on her body, the garment unable to smear an ounce of the poise this woman possessed. As the female nodded in greeting and her long lashes crested her cheeks, Jane was infected with jealousy.

"Thank you, Helen," even her voice was sweet, not in an artificial way, but in the vein of the sweetness of a ripe strawberry, "I think I can handle Jane for the moment if you wouldn't mind grabbing her meal."

The woman waited for Helen to leave before speaking again, "how long have your biotic powers been misfunctioning?"

"Since the Reapers fell," time was a funny thing to Jane anymore.

"Just shy of seven months," the minuscule movement of her eyebrow hardly seemed surprised, "though, I wasn't expecting to be fixing an L5n implant."

"Who else would be stupid enough to bullrush a krogan," any vanguard worth their salt knew how other biotics could view them. Rash. Stupid. Bullheaded.

"I think your stupid luck is what saved your life. You should have had severe seizures attacks, if not died from them, months ago."

Jane continued with a snarl, "but the mall. How... did everyone make it?"

"It was unkind of us not to tell you immediately, but only one civilian casualty," the doctor proffered a soft smile, "the Special Ops group got to your compound in time to repel the brunt of the attack. We had heard there was a pocket trying to rebuild; we just weren't sure if you were friendly, so the entire team did not come along. They had to rush you back here. The equipment is too fragile to move quickly."

She was even nice, gross.

"I was asked to pass on the message that you keep your ass down," at least the swear word brought her down from the utterly ethereal.

Jane's smile cracked, slightly painful against the cybernetic scars that littered her cheek.

"Your body is a curious piece of work; the sheer amount of upgrades and scarring at a microscopic level is fascinating," the woman pulled out her datapad, scrolling down what Jane assumed was a list of medical notes, "synthetic weaving to reinforce bones, microfibres in your muscles, synthetic skin fibres as well. I can't imagine the cost of that modified biotic amp."

Jane looked at her blankly, "you certainly poked around."

"Somebody wanted you alive," strawberry remarked, undeterred, "I'd think you're some sort of mad scientist experiment -that's a foolish notion. But I have my bets on Special Ops... N7."

Jane's eyes snapped into a glare, setting her jaw hard. Teeth grinding into her following biting statement, "don't attempt to bite off more than you can chew."

The woman returned the statement with tempered pity, lips tucked into a frown. The kickback from her calloused words came back twofold as a sharp pain seared across her orbital bone, requiring a hand to staunch the heat before it ended out in a cry. Jane should be thankful, instead, she was pissed. Most of the angst directed inward, some at the patheticness of the situation, little at the well-meaning doctor.

"Can I go?"

"I'll need you here for a couple more weeks minimum."

Fucking perfect.

The doctor continued before Jane's snarl turned into an attack, "you know you need to keep your biotics offline for a while. During that time, we can prepare to merge our groups as one. We'd like your help in escorting us back."

The last line was a platitude, but the LT's message made more sense. The guilt of their previous encounter started to trickle into her psyche before she squelched it away with a flinch, "any more orders, doc?"

"As you are The Commander, I think I should be deferring to you."

"Come again?"

The female laughed behind her hand, "it's obvious who you are. You may fool everyone else with the fancy scars, wilted demeanor, and blonde hair -which by the way, looks fabulous- but your unique physiology and enhancements give it away. I struggled with the thought briefly because how could the savior of the galaxy be here? You charged in with the strike team that went to activate the Crucible. But by God's grace, you're here."

"You can't be-"

Strawberry waved away the protest with her hand, "I'm more than some yokel surgeon. I don't get to be a spec ops field doctor without further training. You won't fool me."

"You bitch."

"Language, miss!"

The sharp crack of the older's woman's words snuffed the faint glow Jane had unconsciously started to accumulate. But it did not dim her glower, blue eyes pinned on the female tapping something into a datapad. Jane was still, frozen in the moment until the second snap of warmth from a small body clambering into her bed shook her from a blind stupor. The little hands and the mound of mousy hair looking at her with barely disguised disdain.

"But I already know those words," Evelyn murmured, only to increase the scrutiny Helen placed on her patient.

"Why are you-" the room immediately thickened with another aura, a solemn shake from the salt and pepper haired woman stopped her question, "are you here because Pater sent you?"

"It is my job," the girl declared bravely, "Pater said that I was to stop you from fighting with anymore krogan. Or just fighting."

"It was my fault, Evelyn...Helen," Strawberry squeaked, "I poked Mar- sorry, I meant Jane without telling her."

Jane's attention returned to the Doctor, pupils narrowing. That was no longer her name.

"I'll excuse it this time, Rahna," Helen's voice returned to a gentle timbre. Handing over the plate of rations, prepared in a manner that was meant to be appeasing. Simple rations that Jane was not thrilled to consume, "eat up. Biotics need energy. I've seen you guys crash before. I don't want you accidentally breaking something expensive."

Rahna.

Rahna...

Rahna.

The woman raised an eyebrow in her direction, plump lips playing into a smirk. Jane was had. Jealousy sunk deeper into her guts, bordering on hatred. How could Kaidan call her beautiful after seeing this divine creature? Beautiful on the Citadel. Beautiful after the first night they had bunked together. Beautiful every time they fucked after. Beautiful in the small moments. Beautiful in the big and the in-between. Had he meant Rahna all along?

"Two weeks."

"What now?" Jane snapped away from the grip of her thoughts.

Rahna crossed her arms, Evelyn giggled, and Helen spoke, "biotics."

"All of this commotion is probably a little too much for her, right now," Rahna cautioned to a sulking child, "let Jane eat in peace while I run a few more tests."

"Yup, super hungry," Jane murmured under her breath.

The patient's gaze did not stray from the Doctor, laser-focused on the slightest movement she made. Waiting for her to do something rash, her temper barely holding behind her tongue. Violent thoughts collided in her head, the desire to do something impetuous a string she had yet to completely cut. It was the easier way, the brutish way- but it was not the way Shepard did it. Shepard would resist, The Commander famously turned the other cheek. Chose kindness. Some of her could still seep through.

Even if it was in the form of stony silence.

"Why hide who you are? You are the one person who could reunite everyone."

A bloody icon. Hero. Butcher. Madwoman. Lover. Terrorist. Murderer. Savior. Pathetic.

"There's nothing to explain," a surly statement only dampened by a flinch, "I don't owe you anything."

"So, it wouldn't matter if I told everyone?"

Jane's silence was the answer.

"This is Major Alenko's squad, I'm sure everyone would be interested," Strawberry continued, placing her first foot away from the bedside, "Let alone you being Shepard, the Major's fling is a very juicy topic. I'm sure meeting the woman would be a top priority."

Rahna took several steps away, gliding out of the retrofitted container. Someone pulled her back, Jane regretted the breeze against her exposed backside. Luckily nobody seemed to pay them much mind in the moment.

"No," her eyes lit with tears, "don't. I can't."

Kaidan knew it was the end; Mary couldn't bring herself into accepting that. Luck. Stupidity. Credits. Spite. They had all stopped her death, had prevented her from reaching a low she could not climb out of. The brutal murder of her parents. Losing her unit on Akuze. Hell, even the deaths of friends during her campaign against the Reapers. They hurt like hell, but it never brought her to her knees. Now... in this moment. In the reality of losing Kaidan, she crashed. Tears, sobbing, railing against the ground. It was pathetic.

Was it the loss of her entire family aboard the Normandy, or just one man?

Dark brown eyes met her on her level, gentle the hint of moisture in her deep eyes, "everyone here mourns him."

"Fuck you."

Rahna laughed, offering out her hand and pulling the woman up to her feet, "I won't tell your secret, but I think you should talk to someone. We have-"

"No, nobody else."

"You know the risks of PTSD; you can't push through it."

"I'm fine."

Jane's stare hardened the emotions out-drying the tears riveting down her scarred cheeks.

"Or how about a deal, my silence for a few talks? Nothing official, just friendship."

She considered for several long moments, biting back each bitter comment that fought to come out. It wasn't the time for resistance. Talking wouldn't hurt, especially if it meant Rahna kept silent. What was she supposed to do for the next two weeks? Stare at the wall? Teach a child to swear? Avoid Kaidan's squad as much as humanly possible?

"Friendship may be pushing it."

[vergilthelibrarian]

Dream of Me, pt.2.

To the anon who asked me to write a second part to this, here ya go! I’m might turn this into a series cause I’m actually genuinely interested in what I’m writing.

TW: mentions of self harm

Part.1

Yandere!PsychDoctor!SichengxGenderNetural!Reader

Walking into the day room, you looked around, eyes landing on Jisung who soon saw you.

His eyes lit up and he smiled and you smiled too, walking and taking a seat next to him.

“Hey.”

“Did you sleep well?” you asked him and he shrugged.

“A little. Not gonna lie, I was kinda scared.” he answered.

“I get it. I was too when I first went to a psych ward. I cried myself to sleep actually.

“Really?”

You nodded.

“Yeah.”

You two started talking, mostly getting to know each other.

“I’m in my first year of university. I’m majoring in dance.” he said proudly.

“That’s awesome! I got a degree in music and I was going for my masters before I moved back here.” you said.

“Why is that?” Jisung asked and you glanced away.

“I was kinda forced to move back here. Past demons catching up with me and all.” you told him.

“Is it because of your doctor? I saw him go into your room last night…” he whispered to you and your eyes widen for a bit before going back to normal.

“I… Jisung-”

“I’m sorry if I struck a nerve or-”

“It’s okay Jisung.” you said.

You sighed.

“My doctor is a childhood friend of mine so he knows me. I don’t really like talking about him though.” and he nodded.

“It’s cool. I don’t want to make you upset or uncomfortable or anything.”

You two looked up as you saw a young man walk into the room who you instantly recognized.

“Hey Taeyong.” you waved and the tired looking man stopped in his tracks and looked at you. He waved at you before walking to a chair and sitting down, crossing his legs and turning his attention to the TV.

Soon you saw your doctor walk in, a gentle smile on his face.

“Y/n. I see you’re out today and you’re making friends.” he stopped in front of you, glancing at Jisung for a bit while Jisung gave a small smile in return.

“Let’s go to your room for a bit and see how you’re doing?”

You nodded, getting up and walking off with the doctor to your room.

Once you got into your room, you sat down on your bed, facing Sicheng as he took a seat in the chair.

“How are you today?” he asked.

“Why do you keep asking me this? It’s not like as if you’re gonna let me leave this place anyway.” you said looking at him annoyed.

Sicheng chuckled.

“You’re right about that.” he said with a smirked.

Ever since finding out that Sicheng was your doctor, you knew that he was gonna somehow use his position and power to make it harder for you to leave despite being the cause for your stay at the psych ward in the first place.

You pulled at your fingers, your eyes soon on your lap.

You hated the air in the room.

It felt stuffy and awkward and you didn’t feel safe. You wanted to be back in the day room talking with Jisung.

“So… I see you’re talking with a new patient.” Sicheng said.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous. You’re the one who told me yesterday to go out into the day room and talk to others.” and he nodded slowly.

“I did. But I still can’t help but just get a little jealous when I see you’re talking to other people besides me.” he admitted.

He leaned back into the chair, his eyes on you.

“You know, I’ve been talking with my team and I brought up you moving into a long term residential psychiatric program and-”

“What?” you looked up at the doctor, eyes wide.

“Aww, Y/n.” he cooed. “You’re sick. You’re a danger to yourself. If I let you go back outside, who knows what will happen to you.” he said.

“B-but… You can’t do that!” your voice raised as you looked at him in shock.

“I can and I will. You weren’t even taking your medication when you checked in.”

“That’s because you kept throwing them away. You worsened my sickness…”

Sicheng’s jaw clenched and he glanced away.

He looked back at you, his face soften as he said, “I’m only doing this so you realize that I’m the only who can really help you. No one cares for you as much as I do and if you’d just stop resisting me, it wouldn’t have to be like this.” he said before getting up.

“You can go back to the day room now. We’re done for today.” he walked to the door and left the room.

You got up from the bed, rubbing your arm as you walked to the door and left the room.

You went back to the day room only to see Taeyong talking to Jisung.

You couldn’t help but giggle at how Jisung looked a bit uncomfortable while Taeyong talked to him.

They soon noticed you though, their eyes landing on you and Taeyong motioned you to come closer.

You did, taking your seat next to Jisung.

“What did Sicheng say?” Taeyong asked, his eyes now on you.

You sighed.

“He’s thinking about putting me in the long term program.” you told him.

Taeyong frowned and Jisung eyes grew wide.

“What does he even gain from keeping you trapped here?” Taeyong wondered out loud, leaning back into his seat.

You shook your head.

“I don’t know.”

Taeyong himself was a long term resident of the psych hospital. He was schizoaffective and, from what he told you, his mind snapped when he lost his mother. You met Taeyong in your first year of high school, he only being one year higher than you. Everyone knew how much Taeyong loved his mother and when the news came out that she had cancer, he became a bit more sadder than his usual cheerful self but still, he kept his optimism. Everything was fine at one point, his mother had her last chemo treatment and things seemed to be turning up. But then it came back and this time it was worse and the doctors told his family that there was nothing they could do. When his mother passed away last year, his mental health started declining rapidly and with him already being bipolar now being paired with symptoms of schizophrenia, he genuinely felt as though he was losing his mind. Besides all of that, he didn’t tell you much as to what led up to him to being here but he did tell you that it was his relatives who brought him here and suggested to the nurses for him to stay here long term and with how unstable he was, his team decided that that was probably the best thing for him.

“This place is hell. I mean, besides the fact there’s nothing to do here, some of the doctors and nurses will just dope you up with so much drugs to the point were you become numb.” Taeyong said, which was true.

Some of the doctors and nurses just weren’t good people.

They didn’t see the patients as people who were genuinely sick and needed help.

Some of them saw you as lab rats to test new drugs on or as incurable.

One of the patients named Jennie, who only left her room for meal time, had severe BPD and was given so much medication by her doctor that she never really seemed all too there.

She would just sit and stare at the wall.

Never moving, her eyes blinking slowly.

It was sad.

Jisung frowned slightly.

“Isn’t that against the law though?” he asked and Taeyong rolled his eyes.

“The government doesn’t care about insane people. We’re seen as dangers to society just for existing and some of these “doctors” and “nurses” tend to keep those same ideas when they come into this line of work.” he crossed his arms. “And they don’t help us because we need it. They “help” us because we’re considered ticking time bombs that will kill someone the moment we have an episode.”

Jisung shook his head.

“But that’s not true.” he said and Taeyong sighed, looking at him with sad eyes.

“You’re right. It’s not true. But the rest of society still think it is and we, the ones with the illnesses, still suffer because of it.”

~~

Sicheng typed away on his computer when he heard a knock on his door.

“Come in.” he said, his eyes soon leaving the screen when he heard it open.

A man in a black three piece suit came in and closed the door.

He took a seat in one of the chairs that face the front of Sicheng’s desk and Sicheng smiled warmly at the man.

“How are you doing Yoonoh?” he asked and Yoonoh made a face as though he was in thought.

“Fine I guess.” he answered.

Sicheng saved his work and closed his laptop, giving his attention back to the man in front of him.

He waited patiently as the man tried to gather his thoughts.

“I don’t know how I’m doing. I don’t know how I’m feeling. Honestly, this life has made me so numb, so desensitized that I don’t even know if I could even have a genuinely healthy relationship with anyone. The fear of them dying a retaliation is just too high.”

Sicheng nodded, his eyes on the man who looked visibly distraught.

“It amazes me how my father was such a sweet man to me and my mother. I genuinely don’t know how he did it. This life makes it so hard to be sweet to others especially since it made me realize how much of a sadist I am.”

Sicheng listened to Yoonoh spill his guts out to him, about his fears, the nightmares he has of those that he killed getting their revenge.

And as Yoonoh talk, he cried.

He always cried during his sessions with Sicheng and Sicheng knew that Yoonoh thought he could only cry here with him because what would his men think of him crying over being raised in a life crime considering he’s the leader of his father’s mafia?

They would think he was a pussy.

After about 30 minutes passed, Yoonoh wiped his eyes, closing his mouth as he was done talking.

But before Sicheng could say anything, something came across Yoonoh’s mind and soon he found himself asking, “How’s Y/n doing? I’ve been thinking about them lately.” he said and Sicheng smiled.

“I’m taking care of them at the hospital. I’m actually planning to become their sole caregiver.”

Yoonoh nodded.

He didn’t want to tell Sicheng but he did felt bad for helping Sicheng force you to come back here, especially since it seemed like you had your entire future ahead of you. He also felt bad that Sicheng was using your mental illnesses against you. He only did things like that to his enemies so he didn’t understand why Sicheng was doing it to you… but love did come in different ways so he usually chalked it up to Sicheng just being in love.

Yoonoh didn’t really question why Sicheng did the things he did to you but he still couldn’t help but feel guilty at helping destroy your future and being stuck with a man who may be missing a few screws himself.

“How are you gonna become their sole caregiver?” he asked curiously.

“Their family already gave me the okay to care for them long term and their friends don’t even know that I was the one that was stalking them all those years ago. Also, no one is gonna question why they’re living with me suddenly since everyone knows we were close friends.”

Yoonoh knew he was right.

Everyone who was raised in this town knew how close you and Sicheng were before you went off to university.

What no one knew however was how your leaving made Sicheng lose it and while he was taking more unconventional routes in order to become a psychiatric, he hired Yoonoh to find out where you were since you deleted all of your old sns accounts before you left and didn’t really tell anyone the college you got accepted into. Once he found you though, Sicheng made it his mission to get you back, no matter how mad he had to drive you.

“Why are you asking about Y/n by the way?” Sicheng asked and Yoonoh ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know. Guilty conscious I guess.” he admitted and Sicheng nodded.

“I understand. But know that Y/n is only safe in my care. I will never let harm come to them.” he said and Yoonoh just nodded.

That might be true but if anyone was to ever harm you, Yoonoh thought, it’d be no one other than Sicheng himself.

~~

You eyes looked to your side, landing on Taeyong’s drawing.

You looked back at the blank paper in front of you, not knowing what to draw.

You decided to go to art therapy with Taeyong since you didn’t want to be in your room all day since you were still hallucinating and talking to both Jisung and Taeyong seemed to be helping a bit.

You’ve always heard a voice in your since you were child and only started visually hallucinating around the time you hit puberty.

The voice started off telling you do to random dangerous things, similar to how intrusive thoughts are but as you got older, the voice became more abusive and since your family didn’t believe you when you told them what was happening, you suffered throughout your entire youth because of that voice, the only people taking your words seriously being your friends.

The voice that would talk to you was a male’s voice. You couldn’t put a name to who it was though so you usually called it Him.

But when Sicheng started stalking you, a new voice appeared and the voice was that of Sicheng.

His voice would tell you in the mostly sickly sweet tone how no one loved you.

How no cared about you.

That your friends were fake and your family hated you.

And you heard his voice tell you this because he was already telling you this himself.

Leaving messages on your phone through voice and text, writing letters and leaving it in your mailbox, telling you how much no one loved you… besides him.

And it really did affected you.

You started distancing yourself from your college friends and by the time you graduated, your mental health was just as bad as it was when you were younger, if not, worse.

The only reason why his words affected you was because of how much you believed him.

Out of all of your friends, Sicheng was the only one who truly comforted you.

You were friends with Taeyong too but he was going through so much back then that you understood why he couldn’t really do much to help you.

But Sicheng…

Sicheng was always there for you and maybe it was selfish of you to just leave your hometown without a word and start a new life at a college in another state but you wanted to get away from your family so badly that you were fine with forgetting about your old friends and moving on.

Starting anew.

You sighed as you picked up a red color pencil and started drawing circles.

The circles began overlapping one another until it turned into a red mess.

“Okay guys. Now it’s time for us to go around and tell everyone what we drew and why.” Chittaphon, or Ten as what everyone called him, said as he turned down the music that was playing in the room. “Remember, you don’t have to say anything.” he smiled before picking up his drawing and starting first.

You liked Ten.

He was pretty chill and funny and would also let patients take crayons and paper to their room just to draw.

Once Ten was done explaining his drawing, he passed it down to one of the patients who began talking.

When it got to Taeyong though, he shook his head.

“I don’t feel saying anything today.” he said and then looked at you.

You picked up your drawing, looking at it, sighing.

“I didn’t really draw anything.” you started. “I just drew a bunch of circles overlapping into one another.” you turned the paper around for everyone to see. “I’ve just been hearing the voices and they keep talking over each other. I guess it could mean that? I don’t know, I’ve just been overthinking a lot about things.”

“What are they?” Ten asked and you looked at him.

“Just… just about the things that led me up to being here…” you answered him and Ten nodded.

“The beautiful thing about art is that it never truly has to be good. Art is a way to express emotions and thoughts that you can’t express in the verbal all too well. To make sense of the thoughts and troubles you have. To cope and understand the trauma you suffer from. If you drawing a bunch of circles made you come to that conclusion, then I say that you did draw something.” Ten said, a gentle smile on his lips.

You nodded.

“I guess you’re right.” you said, setting the paper down on the table. “I’m done.” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the older woman next to you who then began explaining what she drew.

When group ended, Taeyong told you to wait for him and went up to Ten and asked him for some more art supplies and Ten went and got him some crayons and paper.

Once he gave it to him, Taeyong thanked Ten and soon the both of you left the room.

“Let me put these in my room real quick.” Taeyong said and you two walked to his room, just talking about whatever.

When he got to his room, he went in, set his supplies on his dresser and walked out, the both of you heading to the day room.

As you entered, you saw Jisung whose eyes were red and puffy.

He did have talk therapy during yours and Taeyong’s art therapy group so you assumed that was the reason why he looked rather sad.

You went up to him, taking a seat next to him and smiling.

“Everything okay?” you asked him and Jisung looked up at you.

Taeyong took the opposite seat next to Jisung and began rubbing his back.

“Every time one of my alters take over, I don’t feel in control of my body. I’m just watching on autopilot while this stranger ruins everything.” he said. “I just hate that I can’t even remember what actually happens. I can’t recall the things I’ve done or said. I just feel so alone...” he sniffled

“Jisung, what you’re going through, there are others who go through it as well. You’re never really alone.” you said, trying your best to comfort him. “But I know what you mean. I feel the same way too.” Taeyong nodded. “Same.” he said. “When it comes to being sick mentally, it feels like as if no one understands your struggles. That you’re the only person in the world suffering but there are others who do know your struggles. Just because your friends and or family don’t get it, doesn’t mean you’re truly alone.” you told him, a soft smile on your face.

Jisung nodded slowly.

“I guess you’re right.” he said, shoulders slumped.

As you and Taeyong try to comfort Jisung, you saw someone come into the room out of the corner of your eye. Looking up, you saw a patient you’ve never seen before and thought it was a new patient.

His eyes met yours for a bit before looking away.

He looked rather tall in to you and his hair was black. His eyes look tired and sad and as he sat down, you wondered what exactly brought him here.

“It seems like everyday a new guy shows up yet I’m still stuck here.” Taeyong whispered bitterly causing you and Jisung to laugh, who seemed to be feeling a bit better.

~~

As you sat in your bed, you pulled at your hair.

The voices were loud.

Even though you were taking medication, they wouldn’t stop.

You began wondering if you were even given the actual medication you needed or sugar pills.

Knowing Sicheng, that wouldn’t really surprise you if that was the case.

You’ve been in the hospital for 3 weeks now and it seemed as though mentally, you were getting worse.

You looked to your side as the door squeaked open and Sicheng came in.

He walked to the bed and sat down on it, wiping your hair away from your face.

“How was your day?” he asked you and you looked away, pulling at your hair harder.

“No no no, don’t do that. That’s not a good habit.” he said gently pulling your hand away from your hair.

Sicheng was always so gentle with you… but his words always hurt you.

They cut you, hurting and bleeding far more than any self harm scar you’ve ever inflicted.

There was a part of you that still clung to Sicheng.

He was always there for you when no one else was and it made you so confused whenever you thought about that because Sicheng was the reason for your mind worsening in terms of health.

“My day was okay.” you answered timidly, not looking at the man who watched you with soft eyes.

At first, when he started harassing you, you felt terrified, angry that your old best friend was doing this, but ever since coming back home, you began feeling weird. Confused at the fact that Sicheng was still very much the warm and understand boy you grew up with… as long as you didn’t do anything that upset him that was but to Sicheng, you could never upset him.

Irritate him, yes.

But genuine anger towards you, no.

Sicheng chuckled, his hand soon caressing your cheek.

“That’s nice.” he said.

You hated the fact that this man practically had a say on whether or not you were “healthy” enough to leave because deep down you knew he was still sabotaging everything in order to make you stay here.

But a part of you would protest and say that Sicheng is just looking out for you because Sicheng’s voice, that was in your mind, was telling you that all he ever did was look out for you because that’s what the real Sicheng was telling you.

You bit your bottom lip as you felt soft plump lips, gently touch your cheek.

Sicheng would always kiss you everywhere on your face, except your lips.

His kisses was always hesitant and shy, just like him.

He leaned back, his eyes on you, smiling, a soft look on his face as he said, “Goodnight 亲爱的 (Qīn'ài de/Dear). Things will start getting better once you realize that all you need is me.” he lifted his hand up and began rubbing the top of your head. “Now get some rest.”

[liberolove]

Our Great Perhaps

Pairing: Nishinoya x reader

Summary: You two have been dating for about 3 years. You met him in your first semester of college, and you two have been pretty strong. Now, however, taking into account each of your career paths has brought up issues. Maybe, it wasn’t meant to be.

Genre: crack, angst, college au (first part)

Warnings: cussing

Part One || Part Two: here

Nishinoya Yuu was an inimitable beast and glorious lover. He was the most passionate, romantic, and charismatic partner. You had never met someone like him before, so when he waltzed gracefully into your life, you were in awe. 

There was no way that a man like this could ever exist. You had dreamt of your stereotypical prince charming and knight in shining armor entering your life and sweeping you off of your feet. However, you had no idea your fairy tale dream could ever become a reality. And so soon.

The moment you two crossed paths, it felt as though worlds had collided. The stars had aligned and your prayers had been answered. Finally. This was the beginning of your happily ever after.

From the exact second you laid your eyes upon his beautifully toned physique, you knew that there was something special about him. Perhaps, this was the way love at first sight feels like?

When he walked into the lecture hall, everyone else faded from view, leaving only you and him. You just remember his smile, and those brightly lit eyes, looking throughout the hall for a place to sit. He seemed a little lost, but eventually he found somewhere to settle.

You were shocked to find him moving towards you, in the back of the wide room. You were sitting alone in that row of seats, hoping that no one would sit next to you, yet he saw you. He saw that you didn’t actually want to be alone. You were wanting- yearning for someone. Anyone. Anyone to come and sit next to you.

He heard your silent begging, and complied. Once he was close enough, he grinned his award winning teeth and introduced himself. 

“Nishinoya Yuu. But you can call me either Noya or Yuu. What’s your name, gorgeous?”

Those words will forever be seared into the back of your mind. They are the first words your guardian angel ever spoke to you. 

Since then, you two never let go of each other. No matter where you were, everyone knew that Noya was close by. Despite having different majors, you two did your best to take the same general education classes. 

But once your studies started leading you to your core major classes, you two had to part ways in terms of school. This didn’t come between you and Noya much, due to the fact that you two had been living together since your three month anniversary. It felt so right at the time, so why not? 

Despite the differences in coursework, you knew that you could always come to him in your cozy apartment. 

What was starting to drive a wedge between the two of you was the fact that Noya had begun to delve in deeper into his extracurriculars.

You were psyched to hear about his growing opportunities within his field of study: kinesiology. He dreamt of becoming a personal trainer and a coach for high school students. He had a big heart and wished to give back to his community. 

The only problem was that he was focusing all his attention to the intramural volleyball team, the kinesiology club, and his current position at a local high school. 

At first it was manageable, but as the semester progressed, he was constantly busy, leaving you stranded at home.

After spending almost three years joined at the hip practically, this change felt so wrong and absurd. You hadn’t felt this lonely in so long. 

Usually, Noya was so caring and attentive to your mental state, but now, with everything going on, he couldn’t spare the time to listen to you. 

You were so afraid of him forgetting you. Noya was constantly running here and there like a whirlwind, causing him to skip out on your weekend dates. He had so much work to do, and couldn’t afford to get behind on his studies. 

As the number of postponed dates grew, you decided it was time to talk. The anxiety of not knowing how he would respond starting to take over your thoughts. You had no idea how to bring it up nor how to convey your emotions to him. 

~~~~~

The day you finally decided to spill your feelings, he was running late. You had set up dinner about half an hour ago, yet he still wasn’t home. 

You were considering just heading off to bed, since it was getting really late. That’s when the door opened.

“Hey, sweetie, I’m so sorry! The boys wanted to go out to eat after practice, so we got- oh.. Oh fuck, y/n. I’m so sorry! I should’ve texted you that we went out.. I’m so sorry.. I’ll eat it tomorrow for breakfast. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Yuu. I’m sorry, too, for not letting you know.”

There was a lull in the conversation, and you felt the knot in the back of your throat grow. You tried to get it out, but your own words were choking you. Your eyes started to well up with tears. Nishinoya was putting away dinner when he heard your stifled sobs, and immediately turned towards you and held you close to his chest. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? Please tell me. Is it because I didn’t tell you earlier about going out to eat? I’m so sorry.”

“n-noo.. It’s n-not.. that.” you managed to say.

“Then, what is it? You can tell me. You know that, right? You can tell me anything.”

Those words. They dug deep into your heart. You knew he would hear you out, but the fear of the unknown kept ringing in your ears. 

“I.. I c-.. I just can’t!” you yelped and buried your face in his chest.

“I can’t do this anymore..”

He understood immediately. Without saying a word, he held you tightly and placed one hand over your head, trying to soothe you.

He did his best to comfort you, but he realized that this might be one of the last times he would ever hold you.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am. I wish I could fix this.”

Between sniffles, you replied, “We can’t fix it.. Things are different now..”

“I know, but there’s.. there has to be something.. anything.. Anything we can do. We can fix it.. I know we can.”

“I don’t know..”

His eyes started to water, as well. He pulled away from the hug and lifted your chin up so he could see you. Noya stared at you through the veil of tears in his eyes. He did his best to take you in, trying to memorize all of your facial features.

“I’m sorry I failed you..” he whispered quietly. 

“You didn’t.. It’s neither of our faults.. It just wasn’t meant to be..” As you said these words, you felt the sting of what they meant. It hurt to say it out loud, but it also helped provide some closure.

You two had grown apart and there was nothing you could do. You had given him 3 years of your life. They were the happiest years of your life, and you would never regret them, despite how much pain you were currently feeling.

“I love you, y/n. I always have, and always will. No matter what..”

“I love you, Yuu. So much. Thank you for everything..”

~~~~~~~

To say that the breakup was devastatingly difficult would be an understatement. 

Noya had an especially hard time trying to adjust to the change. He would still come home smiling and leaning in for kisses, but stop abruptly, remembering that you two weren’t together anymore. It hurt him to not be able to feel your touch on his skin, or vice versa. 

At first you agreed to be roommates, so that you could adjust gradually, but it made the pain so much worse. Seeing him everyday hurt so much. There was a pain in your chest every time you looked at him, because you knew he wasn’t yours anymore.

Eventually, you two talked about it, and decided that one of you had to move out. Noya basically decided himself that he would be the one to leave. 

You were grateful for his gesture. You tried to help him pack, but unfortunately, every one of his belongings was shrouded in the memories of your past. You had to apologize and leave him be. 

Once the apartment was empty, the ache worsened. It was actually happening. This was real. You two were over. 

That first month, you cried yourself to sleep every night. You were thankful that the one constant thing in your life, school, was still the same. So, you focused on your studies, making sure that your grades didn’t suffer the same way you were suffering.

Your friends learned to not talk about him, anymore. He would always be a part of you, but he was in the past, now. It took you about a whole year to feel better. 

You graduated from university, and you were on your way towards your dream career. 

~~~~~~~

7 years later

~~~~~~~

For your job, you had moved away to Tokyo. From there, you really blossomed. A change of scenery was exactly what you needed. You were currently working as a social worker, and you were loving it. Helping people and supporting them was your calling, truly. 

Everything was going great, and you soon got even more good news. Your agency was about to open a new branch in Miyagi. Your boss picked you specifically to handle the logistics, since you were familiar with the area. 

You were so excited to go back home and reconnect with friends and family.

You packed your bags, ready for the next chapter of your life. Your family was ecstatic that you came back, with so much success behind you. 

When you settled into your new house, your friends planned a surprise housewarming party. Everyone was so supportive and happy that you were back, with the job of your dreams. 

Eventually, they started asking you if there was anyone special in your life. You shook your head. 

The entire time you were in Tokyo, you were too engrossed in your work to focus on dating.  You didn’t have time to get to know someone who would eventually leave. Besides, you knew that Tokyo wouldn’t be for you, forever, so when you heard about a new branch opening, you jumped on the opportunity. 

Truthfully, you missed your life back home. You had grown used to the rural quiet of Miyagi. The city was fun, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t home. 

Since you told your friends there wasn’t anyone special, they started to drown you in guys’ phone numbers, trying to set you up with everyone they knew. 

You laughed it off and tried your best to get away, but your efforts were futile. 

They were dead set on finding someone for you, which was kind of dumb, seeing as there were hundreds of dating apps now. 

You reluctantly took all the phone numbers they gave you, with no intention of actually calling any of them. 

After the party, you were able to relax and have some time to yourself. You forgot how tiring parties were for you. It was exhausting answering so many questions about where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. Still, it was comforting to see that so many people were still in your hometown. 

The next day you walked around town, remembering all the shops and houses from your childhood. Almost nothing had changed. 

You decided to walk into your favorite little café from back in the day. It looked just as you remembered it, with the only change being the menu. They served way more drinks than before. 

You ordered a small iced coffee and sat down in a corner, with a book in your lap. 

Today, you decided to read some poems. You put your earphones in and the world around you dissipated. 

You were too enraptured in your own little world to notice, but a man in a white t-shirt and black shorts walked into the café.

He ordered an iced coffee, as well, and looked around for a comfortable spot to sit. That’s when he spotted you. Could his eyes be deceiving him? It couldn’t be. Last he’d heard, you had moved away to the big city. 

Intrigued, he sat down 2 tables away from you, so as to not disturb you, in case you weren’t the person he thought you were. 

You sat there for about an hour before looking up from your book. “That was enough reading for now,” you thought. You got up without paying attention to your surroundings and walked out of the café.

When you got up, he was able to catch a glimpse of your face. It was you. He sat there stunned in silence. Before he knew it, you were gone. 

He ran out of the shop, in a frenzy, looking for you. He saw you still making your way down the street, so he ran behind you, trying to catch up. 

“Y/N!!”

Your earphones were still in, with your music blasting. You knew it was bad for your ears, but you couldn’t help it. You loved being lost in the sound.

“Y/n?! Fuck my life. Earphones.”

He finally caught up to you and put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/n!!”

You jumped, startled by the touch, and started fumbling backwards, about to fall. He reached out for your hand, and caught you just in time. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, and took out your earphones. “Don’t fucking scare me like that, fuck.” You looked up at the figure looming over you, and you stopped breathing. It was him. God, it had been so long. 

“Nishinoya..” 

“Y/n!! Glad to see you’re still the same, with music blasting in your ears.” He chuckled to himself. 

“Hi. Wow. Hey.. Hi..”

“Yeah, hey. Been a while, huh? How you been? I didn’t know you were back visiting.”

“I actually moved back.”

“Wow! That’s awesome! Have you met up with everyone yet?”

“Yeah, I have. Wow.. It’s really you. I thought you would’ve moved away, too.”

“I did, but I came back, too. I just couldn’t stay away, y’know?”

“Same.”

“Sooo.. wanna go out for some ramen later or something? To catch up?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~

Noya picked you up from your place in his car at around 8 pm. Your heart was racing, the way it used to when you were still dating. 

You got in and asked, “Where’re we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

You whined but settled down quickly. 

Once you arrived you yelped, “Oh man! I love this place! I can’t believe you remembered..”

“Of course, I did. How could I forget?”

After all these years, he still remembered your favorite ramen place. You wondered what else he remembered..

You two spent the next two hours catching up and laughing like old friends. You told him all about your life in Tokyo, and he told you about his journeys abroad. Noya had gone to Brazil, the US, Korea, and most of Europe. He loved traveling but always made his way back home. Now, he was teaching and coaching at the same university you two graduated from. He was living his dream.

His phone rang. “Hey, sorry about that, I need to answer this,” he apologized.

“Hey, what’s going on? ... Oh, I’m just out having dinner with a friend, catching up. ... I’ll come over in a little... Okay, bye... See ya soon.”

He hung up. “Hey, I have to go now. My girlfriend’s been sick and she wants me to stop by before bed.”

You did your best to hide the disappointment and jealousy in your face. Of course, he has a girlfriend. It’s not like he waited for you this whole time. You were glad he was able to move on, but it still hurt a little. You put on your best fake smile and said, “Yeah, no worries! We can keep chatting another time.”

“Let’s get going then.”

“Alright, thanks again for the food.”

“Yeah, no problem. Anything for you!”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #370

“breakdowns, obscenities, it’s all i wanna be”

Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? Downloading music, for one. I really should just start using Spotify... but my iPod has over 1k songs on it and I just seriously don't want to got through all the trouble. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? Hm. I dunno. What kinds of videos do you like to watch on YouTube, if any? I watch SO many different kinds. It used to be pretty strictly let's plays, but I've definitely expanded my watching interests. Now I'm really into watching educational reptile and tarantula husbandry and keeping channels, I watch one woman who is like my weight loss idol (Jordan Shrinks, she is amazing), there's a few vloggers, I enjoy some World of Warcraft channels, and then there's a couple urban exploration guys I like. I also occasionally watch some beauty YouTubers just for their personalities and the art of it. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? Yes, but they were so busy that I didn't connect with anyone before I finally gave up and ODed. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? Ummmm I don't really know. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I care a lot about other people. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? The breakup. It brought me to the lowest of lows, where every day was a struggle to survive. It taught me I can endure through almost anything, even if it doesn't feel like I can. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Happiness, contentment, being in love, motivation, energy, activities, travel... There's genuinely a lot. IIs there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? I'm very bad at ignoring things. If something is bothering me, it's going to put up a beastly fight to be at the forefront of my mind. What is something you wish was different about your family? I wish we were closer and better off monetarily. What keeps you going lately? The hope for a happy, satisfactory future. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? if so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? I've been in a long-distance relationship with another girl. I think the hardest part was that there was not being able to physically be there for each other when one of us was really struggling, and sometimes communication was an issue, not being able to read body language when we voice chatted or hear the tone in which we "spoke" when texting, though I'm pretty sure that's an issue with any online relations. I also feel it's difficult to really build and experience your chemistry with one another when you're not physically with the other person. I still think all these challenges were worth overcoming, though. I in no way regret the relationship and got only good things out of it. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? I'm kinda torn between Jason and Colleen, but I think my bond with Jason was ultimately more unhealthy because it went beyond love: he was an obsession. Having him with me was the only thing that brought me joy, and I lit-er-a-lly could not imagine my future without him. Like that concept just didn't exist; it was entirely impossible in my head. On his end, he failed to communicate what he was going through emotionally, which only contributed to the damage. I never knew he was struggling because of me. Without realizing it, I put so much pressure on him to make me happy, so to answer the last question, no, we don't, by his decision - and I don't blame him. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? A neverending battle I have with myself is if how I treated Jason after the breakup was qualifiable as emotional abuse, specifically with messaging him things like "thanks for sending me to the ER" and shit. My therapist reassures me that it wasn't abusive because I wasn't being deliberately manipulative, but rather genuinely hurt and convinced I had been wronged and wanted him to know and acknowledge it. She agrees that it was wrong, which I entirely agree with, but sometimes, I'm still convinced I was abusive. I fucking hate answering this question, so hurrying up: I don't know if he's forgiven me. As for how others could reconcile, that's not for me to say. I know sometimes the answer is to NOT make amends and completely stay away from their abuser. It's not my right to tell others how to cope with their abuse. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? My former best friend Colleen was toxic as all fuck hell, and I let her back in way too many times. No, she never changed. I honesty doubt she ever will, given her pride. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? Hmmm... I know this was semi-recent, but whatever it was is evading me at the moment. I personally have zero issue with adults engaging in activities like that; let people do what they enjoy if they're not harming anyone, especially things as innocent as dressing how they think is cute, etc. I would far rather people "act like children" (not emotionally, you know what I mean) than run around the streets selling drugs and shit. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? When I was riding to the sleep study section of the health plaza, where the hospital is, my anxiety spiked quite a bit, recalling all of my ER stays for being suicidal. It didn't help that the psych hospital I visited most is also in that whole jumble of buildings. I dealt with it by reminding myself I was in that area for a very different reason, and Mom reassured me that where I would be staying was more like a small hotel room than a hospital bed, which was true, so that helped. Regarding the next question, I'm not gonna lie to ya, I have a stupid amount of PTSD triggers: certain music, shows, fandoms, places, smells, even tastes of certain foods. I tend to stay away from my major triggers, but I'll *sometimes* fight the tiny ones, because I want that sense of ownership of myself back. If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? Yes. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? I'm VERY sensitive to feeling anything in my nose, and it leads to me needing to blow it a lot. I also can't stand having holes in my socks, but since I wear flip flops essentially everywhere, I don't experience this much. Are you ever afraid to admit to liking something because you’re afraid other people will judge you for it? What is the worst that’s ever happened as a result of you liking something different from the crowd? What about the best thing that’s come as a result of a unique interest? Y E P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing really bad has happened because of admitting my interests, other than hearing things along the lines of "I don't get it." It's very odd, just how horribly receptive I am to judgment about things I like when I don't recall a time where I was ridiculed for anything. But anyway, the best thing to happen from sharing interests for me is making a new friend that likes the same thing, and I will IMMEDIATELY be closer to you than most people I associate with once you've helped me past that vulnerable spot of mine. Have you ever remained good friends with an ex? Yeah. Do you have a negative view of mentally ill people, or are you mentally ill yourself? Do you ever call others crazy, insane, etc? Do you ever call yourself those things? I'm mentally ill and empathize heavily with those who suffer themselves. I absolutely do not have a negative look on mental health sufferers; we don't choose to be victims. I'm definitely not a big fan of abusing terms like "insane," because I've fucking been there, and it's not a term to take lightly. I've thrown 'em around before, but I try to avoid it. I don't call myself any of those things nowadays, but in the deepest trench of my depression and PTSD, I honest to God think I fit the definition of "insane." Does it bother you to have people comment on what you’re eating, or do you not care? What are some comments that would bother you, if any? Do you ever comment on what other people are eating or make assumptions about their intakes? YES. JUST DON'T FUCKING COMMENT. I get EXTREMELY self-conscious when my mom does this sometimes when I occasionally need a small snack to hold me out overnight, and I absolutely never will say something to someone else. It's just rude, imo. Well, I guess if someone was really destroying their health and I was close to them, I would out of concern and be very gentle, but when regarding most people? I'm keeping my thoughts to my damn self. Do you like Redbull? I've never tried it and don't want to. I'm not an energy drink fan. Who is the last person you spent money on? My mom. I remember I bought us fast food when we were out once. What are you looking forward to in the next 4 days? G U Y S!!!!!!!!! I GET MY TATTOO TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! :'''') Also on the same day, I start my TMS therapy, which I have high hopes for. Have you ever gone a whole day without eating? No. Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep? No, but I did that for years back in middle school. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? Haaaaaaaaa. If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick? I really wish I could cuddle my late pup Teddy again. :/ I was thinking about that recently. Are you tanned? God no. I never am. Do you try to wear dresses whenever you can? No. I wish I was in a shape where I was comfortable wearing spring dresses again... I had this floral skull one in high school that I adored. Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? No. Have you ever been called a bitch? Yes. Did you like the person you last kissed when you kissed them? I loved her. Who did you have a meaningful conversation with last? Sara. Do you have feelings for someone? Yeah, but they're like... on a leash, you could say. I don't let 'em run free and wild, and I know that even if nothing comes of those feelings again, it's fine. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? I think Jason will be this answer for a very long time, if not forever, given the trauma and all. I have to remind myself frequently that I love his memory, not him, because I don't even know him anymore. It's been YEARS since we spoke. Just like I've changed incredibly, I'm sure he has, too. If you saw life in black & white, would that be okay with you? I mean, it would suck, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, what kinds of things are you likely to do? How often do you find you have trouble sleeping? I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop. I'd say I most often get on WoW and refresh the auctions I have up because that tends to tire me out because I do that shit manually to avoid any addon mishaps, and I have a looooot to put up as a gold farmer. What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something to see if I qualified for a sleep study. Are you a patient person? What is one way you have a lot of patience? What about not very much patience at all? I am NOT patient, at least regarding more trivial things, like sitting in waiting rooms. I do have patience though with other people with more serious things, like getting someone to open up to me. At what time during the day do you tend to feel your best? What about the worst? When I first wake up. It's a "fresh start" and it's nice to feel rested. Plus, I open a fresh can of cold soda as my "coffee" for lack of better word, haha. I'm in my worst mood probably late afternoon/early evening, by which time I am incredibly bored and just dulled down. What was the last thing you did that you wish you could take back or do differently? The last thing... I dunno. How frequently do you stay overnight somewhere that isn’t your own home? What things do you miss about home when you’re away? Do you tend to get homesick easily? Pretty much never. I do miss my room and its privacy when I'm away from home, but I wouldn't say I get homesick all that easily, so long as I have WiFi, haha. Do you tend to eat more in the beginning of the day or at night? Do you have a tendency to snack when you’re bored? If so, what kinds of snacks do you normally go for? Not necessarily the beginning of the day, but definitely more than at night. I am BAD about snacking when I'm extremely bored, but at the very least I'm conscious enough to try and find something semi-healthy, like granola bars, fruits, a scoop of peanut butter, but I also sometimes just eat like... a slice of bread or a tortilla. Horrible choice. I'm a carb fiend and I hate it. If you have any dietary restrictions, do you ever miss foods you can’t have? If not, what’s something you haven’t had for a long time that you wish you could eat again? I thankfully don't have any. I've been craving cheesecake like a madman lately. :< The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, too. Is there something you still can’t do even though you’re an adult or might be expected to do this thing? I don't have my license, and my driver's permit is even expired. I'm terrified of driving. I also don't have a job, and I can't cook. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? Uhhh I think someone on Facebook had a baby. Of course I was happy for them. What was the last milestone you reached in your life (graduating, buying a car, starting a family, etc)? What milestone are you going for next, if any? Um... I haven't reached a true milestone in years. Hell, I don't think since I started recovery from the breakup. Do you enjoy getting comments or messages? How likely are you to leave comments or messages for other people? Yeah, it makes me feel cared about. It really depends on the platform on how much I leave other people comments, and I'm extremely shy about messaging, but I'll do it sometimes. When are you most likely to scream (either out of fright, anger, or whatever)? Do you scream or yell often? When was the last time someone screamed at you (or in your presence)? Frustration, for sure. I've screamed into a pillow more than once. I definitely don't yell or especially scream often. I'm sure the last person to yell at me was Mom, but I don't remember about what. What would you say is your STRONGEST emotion? Maybe not the most frequent, but the most intense? And what emotion do you feel most weakly, even if you might feel it more often? I'd saaaay... maybe love. When I love something/someone, I love HARD. I think I experience joy the weakest; it's very muted for me. And lastly, what are you listening to? Is this a band you listen to a lot "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot. I wouldn't say I listen to them a lot, but I have been more than usual lately.

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence, Chapter Six

Authors note: Ok so I really struggled with this chapter, hence my major delay, but thank you for bearing with me! 🙏🏼 So this is a super long one (for me) & I’ve just finished writing this at 5am after staying up all night, so I’m sorry for any mistakes etc. Also this is my first time writing a sex scene & I’m so super nervous & awkward about it, so please go easy on me 😂 Feedback is always welcome 🖤

Warnings: A bit angsty & some major smutttt but not the smut you want, that’s coming later (pun intended)

Tags: @triplehaitches @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberribread @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @deaconsroger @zoenicoles @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @sukimousepaw @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place

(Couldn’t find a suitable gif, so here’s one of the two stars of this chapter)

((I wanted a gif of that scene in the dirt when Vince is fucking that chick in the dressing room right before his gf takes back his leather pants but I couldn’t find one 😭😂))

Spring ‘83

I checked my make up in the mirror for the 10th time in as any minutes, pouting my lips & fluffing up my platinum blonde hair.

“Fuck Beth, you’d think Gene Simmons himself was coming back from this tour the way you’re dolling yourself up.”

I scowled at Sophias reflection in the mirror, her irritation evident as she stood in the doorway with one hand on her leather-clad hip, drumming her fingers impatiently. “Ew, no. Gene Simmons, what is wrong with you?!” I laughed.

“Really, you don’t see it?” She puzzled, furrowing her brow with an amused look on her face. “The make up always kinda did it for me..” She trailed off, giggling to herself before snapping out of her momentary daydream. “Anyway, can you just hurry your ass up, we’re gonna be late for work & Paul is already on our case!” She finished, referring to our boss.

“He caught us drinking with the guys once on shift, he’s hardly on our case.” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yeah, but he’s heard they’re coming back & he’s already on edge about the whole thing, he knows how they get & he’s planning on amping up security to keep them in check. I mean, they have just been kicked off of a tour with Kiss for bad behaviour, for Christs sake!” I rolled my eyes at her, always the sensible one nowadays. Sophia was right, of course. Mötley Crüe had become infamous on the Sunset Strip. They’d drink, fight & fuck, usually in that order, anything in sight & they showed no signs of stopping. The band was on their way up & people knew it, so everywhere they went, trouble, & girls, followed. And tonight, they were on their way back to the Whisky.

“How do I look, honestly?!” I asked nervously, turning to Sophia & gesturing at my outfit, smoothing out my high waisted acid wash mini skirt & fiddling with the collar of my leather jacket awkwardly.

“Well, if Vince doesn’t fuck ya, I will.” She winked, laughing. I smiled weakly before blowing her a kiss & turning back to check myself over once more, messing with my hair & trying to pretend I couldn’t feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

“Babe,” Sophia started gently, frowning “why are you stressing so much? It’s not like this is anything new.”

“I don’t know, it’s been like a month since I last saw him & he’s probably slept with god knows how many girls on the tour & I-”

“Beth, they played like 5 shows, how much damage could they do, really?!” I looked at her with raised eyebrows, laughing with amused disbelief at her naivety. Did she know them at all?

She caught sight of my face. “Ok, ok, you’re right, carry on.”

“Look, I know there’s nothing serious between us & I’m fine with that, honestly, I am. But I just don’t want to look like another groupie to him.. I - I just wanna look good, ok?” I rambled, realising I was sounding way more defensive than I was intending.

Sophia sensed my nerves. “Well, you make one fine ass groupie, Vince won’t be able to resist you.” She said playfully, before pausing, a slow smile appearing across her plump, pink lips. “& neither will Nikki.” She added smugly, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

I let out a high pitched, fake laugh at yet another one of her goddamn Nikki jokes. “You’re so fucking funny.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “When are you going to let that go?!”

She shrugged. “When you guys do us all a favour & fuck so we don’t have to be around your obvious sexual tension.”

“Soph, I hate the guy, he’s an rude, arrogant narcissist & I’ve got more sexual tension going on with Mick than I do with that asshole!”

“Hey now, don’t drag poor Mick into your fucked up Nikki fantasy!” Sophia chortled. “You can deny it all you like babe, but I’m your best friend & I know you, you love to hate that guy because secretly, except not really secretly, you wanna screw his narcissistic brains out.” She finished, grinning widely at her fabricated conclusion.

I scowled at her once again, tired of hearing these assumptions constantly over the last few months. “God, can we just stop with this now please?!” I begged, turning back to the mirror, stressing more than before. “Maybe I should go change..”

“No!” Sophia said quickly, grabbing my hand & pulling me towards the front door. “You look great, Nikki is gonna love it- I mean Vince.. Whichever one it is you’re trying to impress. Now can we please just go?” She begged, exasperated eyes looking pleadingly at me.

I sighed & followed her out, the anticipation of the night ahead lingering in the air as I shut the door behind me.

*Later, at Whisky A-Go-Go*

I took a long drag on my cigerette & exhaled the smoke into the brisk, refreshing breeze that swept through the night sky. I savoured the moment, knowing that, in a few minutes, whatever band was playing tonight would finish their set & the crowd would surge back to the bar, impatiently demanding their drinks & trying by any means to gain my attention, whether it be just to order or try to, usually unsuccessfully, hit on me.

The back door swung open as Sophia stepped out, armed with trash bags, distracting me from my moment of peace.

“What are you doing out here?” She asked, spotting me hiding on the other side of the dumpster. I waved the lit cigetette clutched between my fingers wordlessly in response. She frowned. “You don’t smoke.”

“Well I always end up smoking with the boys & I just figured I’d use it as an excuse to get some peace before the rush kicks off.” I shrugged, ignoring her obvious disapproval. Sophia had perfected her judgmental stare over the past 6 months, every time she saw me sniff a line of coke or come home tipsy. It’s not like she didn’t partake, in fact, she was almost as wild as Mötley were, keeping Tommy on his toes. But Soph couldn’t help but look at me the way I knew most people that knew me did; like I was some fragile, innocent being that needed protecting. I’m the good one, the well behaved child, the straight A student, the protective big sister, the motherless daughter with the overbearing father. I’ve spent my life being exactly what everyone expected of me. The boys were the only people that didn’t make me feel that way &, for a night every week or so, when I got to party with them, it was fun not being who everyone thought I should be & just being whoever I wanted to be for the night.

“It’s a shit habit to have,” Soph mumbled, pulling out a cigerette from her almost empty packet, placing it between her lips & lighting it. “You’re better off without it babe. Quit whilst you’re ahead & all that.”

“Thanks for advice, mom,” I responded, rolling my eyes as I took another drag.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask, have you finished that paper for Dr Andersons psych class yet?” Asked Sophia, suddenly changing the subject.

“Erm.. You want the truth or..?” I grimaced, knowing I hadn’t even started my essay on the theory of human motivation.

“Beth, girl, come on!” Sophia whined, sounding irritated. “You know if you ask Anderson for another extension, she’s gonna loose her shit with you! You gotta stop slacking..”

I shot her a warning look. “I am not slacking”, I said cuttingly, offended by her words. I’d never been accused of not trying hard enough in my life & I didn’t like it.

Soph looked a little sheepish. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I know how hard you work. It’s just this is the second paper in a row you haven’t prepared for & you’re usual so on it, I’d just hate to see you fall behind because of..” She trailed off.

“Because I’m fucking a Vince?” I spat, suddenly angry.

“No, Beth. Come on, you’re twisting my words now. You know I’m all for you having fun, especially after how everything was for you at home, I don’t blame you for rebelling a bit. But I’m also just looking out for you, you just need to find a balance is all.” Sophia looked embarrassed, obviously regretting her change of subject. I glared at her, watching her chew her lip awkwardly, avoiding my stare. The rational part of me knew she was only trying to be a good friend, but the defensive side to me felt she was trying to shield me from having any fun, treating me like that fragile girl once again & it immediately brought out my inner hostility.

I flicked my cigerette across the alley & stormed past Sophia, catching her shoulder as I did. She whipped round to me, eyes ablaze with shock & anger.

“Excuse me, you did not just shoulder barge me!” She yelled, stunned.

“Why cant you just mind your own goddamn business?!” I screamed back, throwing my hands up in the air with exaggerated exasperation. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, you know everything I’ve been through better than anyone. I’m just trying to enjoy myself, do all the dumb shit I never got to do when I was 18. Why are you treating me like a damn kid?!” I could hear myself arguing like a teenager who’s parents wouldn’t let them out, but I couldn’t help it, I was belligerent.

“Maybe stop acting like a damn kid & people wont treat you like one!” She fired back.

“Fuck this.” I snapped, barging through the door & back into the hot, sticky air of the Whisky. I marched back behind the bar just as the band were playing their last few chords & grabbed a bottle of jack. I quickly poured a shot & necked it, seconds before Paul rounded the corner.

“Where’s the other one?” He asked, rudely.

“I’m here.” Sophia mumbled, rushing back, just as the crowd began shifting its way from the stage to the bar.

“Right, back to work, no more fucking breaks.” Paul spat, pointing at us both before disappearing off to his office, as per usual whenever the bar got busy. I stuck my middle finger up at him as he walked away, directing my anger at him. I heard a chuckle & turned around to see a familiar, dark figure in the sea of gig-goers, his eyes lost behind a mass of black hair, yet somehow I could still feel them trailing along the contours of my body. His lips were curled into his usual, heart-stopping smirk & I found myself catching my breath when I caught sight of him.

“Someone’s in a good mood, I see.”

“Not now Sixx, for fuck sake.” I muttered, taking an order & pouring the drink.

“Have you missed me, Angel?” He asked, flashing me a wicked smile, draping himself over the bar to get a better look at me. I ignored him, tending to customers & refusing to make eye contact. “I’ll take that as a no.” He chuckled, darkly.

“Nikki, I really haven’t got time & I’m not in the mood for your games.” I said sharply, finally looking into his dark, green eyes. My stomach knotted as his gaze burnt through me, reigniting that flame that only he could seem to light. And he knew it.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” He drawled, lazily.

“Can’t you see how fucking busy we are?! I haven’t got time for you!” I snapped at him, dropping a tumbler in my frustration, sending glass scattering in all directions. “Fucking great.” I growled, crouching down to clean it up, my impatience & anger growing more & more by the second, only made worse by Nikki, who was now smiling smugly at me from over the bar. “Unless you’re going to be any help to me, I suggest you leave.” I yelled at him, standing up & charging over to the bin with a dustpan full of broken glass. I took a deep breath as I emptied it, attempting to regain my composure. I turned back & immediately cussed under my breath. Nikki had hopped over the bar & was now talking to customers.

“What are you doing?!” I hissed as I marched back over to him.

“I’m helping you, like you wanted,” he shrugged, an aura of smugness about him, as he took orders.

“What I wanted was for you to go away!”

“See, I don’t think you want that at all.” He responded, sliding past me, his hand brushing against my lower back as we moved around the limited space behind the bar. “I think you’ll take any excuse to be near me.” He whispered in my ear as we crossed paths once again, his hands gripping my hips this time as he navigated past me. Me body reacted to his touch, my heart thrumming as I felt unwanted excitement flood my veins. I snapped to attention, determined not to let him get to me again.

“Well, if you’ve got it all covered here, you wont mind if I take a quick bathroom break, right?” It was my turn to smirk as I walked from behind the bar, seeing his face fall as I turned & sauntered away from him, letting my hips sway a little more than usual as I felt his eyes drop to my ass, as they always did.

I strode into the bathroom stall, locking it behind me, & rested my head on the cool, metal door, breathing sharply. Nikki had a talent for pissing me off & frustrating me in ways I couldn’t explain & tonight was not a good night for it. Between him, Sophia & Paul, I was wound up past the point of no return & the next person that crossed me was going to feel the full force of my pent up rage.

I was working on slowing my breathing when I heard the door to the bathroom open & shut. Within seconds, my head started vibrating as someone rattled the door to the bathroom stall violently, trying to get in.

“Occupied!” I yelled, my voice oozing irritation.

It shook once again, whoever it was clearly not giving up. I took a step back from the door, anger flooding to every inch of my body as my hand flew towards the lock & I wrenched it open. I was ready to hurl cathartic insult after insult at the poor, unsuspecting person that was to be the subject of my blind fury, when a skinny blonde fucker stopped me in my tracks.

Vince stood in the door way of the stall, leaning casually, his tousled blonde hair framing his chilsed face perfectly. He had on brilliant white jeans with rips at the knees & a distressed denim jacket with nothing on underneath & plastered on his face was the biggest, goddamn sexiest grin that immediately calmed my rage & sent my heart racing.

“You having a bad night doll?” He asked, doing his best to feign concern, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried to hide his smirk. I took a second to drink him in, savouring the sight of him before I grabbed the collar of his denim jacket & pulled him roughly into the cubical with me, knowing exactly how I was going to satiate my temper. I slammed the door shut behind me & turned around to face Vince, pushing him down into a seated position on the closed lid of the toilet. His smirk was from ear to ear by now & there was a hunger in his eyes I wanted to satisfy so damn much. I straddled my legs either side of his, hiking up my denim skirt that was restricting my movement, exposing my strategically chosen lace black underwear. I sat down on his lap & pressed my mouth lightly against his, running my tongue across his plump, lower lip, tasting the remanence of whisky left there, a flavour I’d grown to love. I trailed my lips across his jawline, placing kisses as I went, until my teeth found their way to Vince earlobe, grazing their way along it as subtly began grinding my hips into his lap. He let out a soft, intoxicating groan that made me weak. I craved him.

Vinces fingers had wound their way into my hair & he grabbed a fistful, firmly pulling my head back, exposing my neck to him. I felt his smirk caress my skin as his nipped & sucked his way down my throat, leaving his mark as he went, before running his tongue back up, sending lustful shivers running down my spine. He brushed his lips across my chest as his hands left my hair, gliding their way down the contours of my body & under my shirt, roughly pulling it up & over my head. I felt him grow harder underneath me as he cupped my breasts in his hands, his tongue lightly flicking & caressing my nipples before he gently grazed his teeth along one, causing an involuntary moan to slip out of my parted mouth. I bit down on my lip, desperate to keep quiet, but Vince has other plans. He widened his legs, forcing mine open at the same time & slipped his hand between my thighs. He groaned as he felt my wetness through my lace panties & ran his finger teasingly back & fourth along the damp patch, causing me to squirm.

“Keep quiet for me now, Princess.” Vince teased, raising his eyebrows & smirking as he pushed my underwear to one side & slowly he eased one finger inside me, causing my to stifle a gasp of pleasure. His thumb brushed lazily over my clit, teasing me, driving me crazy with desire. My eyes closed & my head tilted back as he pushed another finger inside, moving them rhythmically at just the right speed to leave me wanting more. I bit down harder on my lip, trying my best to keep a moan from escaping as Vinces speed picked up. I rocked my hips back & forth against his fingers, pushing my lips roughly onto his to keep quiet, moaning into his mouth instead as he tasted my urgency.

Vince pulled my hair back once again, denying me of his lips. There was a look of arrogance dancing in his eyes as that he kept them fixed on mine, watching me intently as he brought me closer to the edge. I held my lower lip firmly between my teeth as his fingers moved faster & his thumb circled my clit in perfect harmony the way he knew drove me crazy, bringing me ever closer to the release I so badly needed.

“Let me see you cum baby.” He demanded, his eyes not leaving mine once, a sly smirk on his irresistible face. His words were all I needed as I reached the edge & came around his fingers.

“Fuck, Vinny, yes!” I yelled breathlessly, not caring who heard me. I felt the waves of pleasure crash around me as Vinces fingers carried on, pushing me to my absolute limits until I couldn’t give anymore & I grabbed his hand to stop him. He gave me a sly, proud smirk as he looked at my exhausted, content expression.

Christ, I needed that.

But Vince wasn’t done with me yet.

He slowly slid his fingers out from my wetness & brought them up to his lips, sucking on them sensually, making my still throbbing pussy tense in excitement.

“You taste so fucking good.” Vince smirked, watching me squirm with lust once again. I felt his rock hard cock constrained in his tight jeans & I rocked my hips into him once again. His smile widened & suddenly his hands were under my ass, picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist & buried my hands into his blonde hair, grabbing it & pulling his mouth on to mine. Within seconds, we were out of the cubical & Vince sat me on the basin countertop without a thought as to who might walk in. We didn’t care.

“I want you inside me.” I moaned, hastily undoing his jeans with intense urgency & pulling him towards me. I found my way to Vinces cock & he let out a low groan as I wrapped my hand around it, slowly stroking him up & down.

“I’ve fucking missed you.” He growled. It was my turn to smirk.

Vince pulled away, expertly rolling on a condom with ease, before pulling me panties to one side once again. He rubbed my wetness, as I grabbed his rock hard dick & guided it towards me, using it to tease my entrance, a cocky smile playing on my lips as I watched Vinces eyes grow dark with desire & impatience. His lip parted to complain, but I silenced him by swiftly easing him inside me. We both moaned simultaneously as he pushed all the way in, stretching me out.

Vince groaned as he began thrusting slowly, finding his rhythm. “I forgot how tight your perfect little pussy is.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper in to me as he picked up speed, his hips bouncing against mine. “Oh Vinny,” I moaned, raking my nails across his back, leaving my mark on his skin to repay him for the bruises on my neck. The pain caused his pace to quicken, as his hunger for me intensified. He grabbed my one leg & lifted it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck me deeper, harder.

I felt the pleasure building once again with each stroke, bringing me closer to orgasm. “Don’t stop.” I panted, digging my nails into his hips. Vince groaned loudly as I started playing with my clit, the hedonism getting too much for us both to withstand. I threw my head back & bit my lips to suppress my moans as best I could as the waves of pleasure started reaching their crescendo.

Vinces strokes became delectably slow & purposeful, each one deeper than the last as we both began our decent into sweet release. Vince gave one last thrust that sent us both over the edge & I came around his cock as he came inside me, his forehead pressed against mine as our duel moans of pleasure filled the bathroom. The perfect harmony.

*Nikkis POV*

How fucking long does it take to have a piss?! I thought angrily, as I pushed open the door to the bathroom, Sophias not-so-polite request that I get “the fuck from behind the bar & go & find Beth” still ringing in my ears.

I heard them before I saw them, but my brain didn’t comprehend what I was hearing until my eyes fell on her.

Beth was sat on the countertop, one leg draped over my frontmans shoulder, the other wrapped around his waist as Vince stood with his back to me. Her fingers were gripping his hair like she was holding on for dear life, her head was titled back in the throws of passion & her face.. Her face was that of an angel, as it always was, but twisted & distorted with sin as I watched her cum before me. Her glossy pink lips were parted as sounds that I wished I was causing left her pretty little mouth. Her forehead was glistening with a light film of sweat, her eyebrows were furrowed & her eyes were clenched shut as she indulged in her release that I so badly wanted to feel.

It was heaven to watch her.

And hell to know that she wasn’t coming for me.

I felt intense, unwarranted jealousy descend over me as I watched the girl that I disliked with such ferocity, but still so badly wanted to demoralise get fucked by one of my best friends. I wanted to feel her nails in my skin as I wrapped my hand around her pretty neck. I wanted to see those big, innocent, doe-like eyes look up at me pleadingly as I brought her close to orgasm, only to stop, making her beg for me to touch her. I wanted to taste her delectable pussy & feel her cum against my tongue, her sweet voice calling out my name as I sucked her clit. God, how I fucking wanted her.

Beths eyes fluttered open & immediately fell on mine, causing me to snap out of my fantasy. I adjusted myself quickly, hoping she wouldn’t see the semi I had rubbing against my tight leather pants.

She seemed shocked & embarrassed to see me standing there in the doorway, yet still somehow she managed to look smug. Guilty, yet satisfied. She shot me a shit eating grin before she kissed Vince, her eyes fixated on mine as she did so.

I let out a loud, purposeful cough that caused Vinny to jump & instinctively pull away from Beth. He looked in my direction & visibly relaxed, shooting me a typically sly Vince Neil smile.

“Oh it’s just you Sixx,” he laughed, buttoning up his jeans as Beth climbed down from the worksurface with as much modesty as possible, adjusting her skirt as she did.

I ignored Vince, my face like stone as I kept my eyes on Beth. “Sophia is looking for you.” I said bluntly.

“Shit yeah, I need to get back.” She said quickly, turning to wink at Vince & give him a peck on the lips. “You have no fucking idea how much I needed that,” I heard her mumble seductively. Vince grinned.

“Anytime Princess.” He drawled. I could’ve punched his arrogant fucking face.

Beth stalked towards me, holding her head high & proud as she pushed past. Vince looked like he was about to say something, but I didn’t stick around to hear what it was. Against my better judgement, I followed Beth, my anger brewing.

“Have fun?!” I snapped at her, letting my frustration show without meaning to.

“Loads.” Beth smiled simply, looking me dead in the eye without hesitation. I felt my anger bubble closer to the surface.

“You know, I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten bored of you yet.” I shot nastily, wanting to rile her up. “Groupies never last long with Vince. You should’ve seen all the sluts her got with on the tour.” I let out a sharp, short laugh, convinced I’d strike a nerve.

“Huh, weird, isn’t it?” She shrugged. “That he always comes back to me. I must do something for him that the other girls don’t.” Her voice dripped with confidence as she walked behind the bar & back to work. “I wonder what it is I have that they don’t..” she finished.

Beth knew exactly what she was doing, she’d known me long enough now to figure out how to push my buttons & her new found arrogance was doing just that. But she wore it well.

I grabbed her arm as she walked past & pulled her in close, my anger & my desire at war inside of me. My lips found Beths & I brushed them against hers in the way that I knew drove her crazy, even if she’d never admit it.

“He’ll never satisfy you like I would, Angel.” I whispered.

Beth swallowed, her confidence visibly shaken & I smiled as I watched her eyes glisten with involuntary desire. I knew she couldn’t resist. “& h-how do you know that?” She stuttered, trying to regain her self-assured composure.

“Because he doesn’t know you like I do.” I mumbled, letting my lips graze hers as I spoke. “I see past your good girl, innocent act. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again, there’s a little bit of devil in your angel eyes. You don’t want just sex, you want to be fucked, you want to know what it’s like to loose all self control, to be with someone that’ll fulfil your darkest desires, who will indulge your every fantasy. I can please you in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine, Lizzy. I want to bring out the bad in you.” I finished, my eyes burning into hers with intense, desperate craving that I knew she felt too. She looked at me, her eyes almost fearful, but I could see the seductive intrigue lying just beyond that fear & I knew I was right about her. “So, what do you say?”

[whumppsychology]

Blood and Candlelight

I was going to do this chronologically, but “order” was never my strong suit so here it is. A day after being taken in by her rescuers. This one’s a wee bit long, sorry not sorry.

Tagging: @spiffythespook @whatwasmyprevioususername

Content Warning: self harm, gore, medical gore/talk (use of needles, mention of sedatives), major hurt/comfort feels

Amarylla hadn’t realized she had drifted off, but she woke up with a sense of urgency. Her nap, however short, was full of murky dreams, a collage of her early days at the institute. A feather touch on her face, someone moving her leg to the side, being trapped with a rock always falling but never getting any lower, and a pain in her right arm that made her jolt upright. She knew what she had to do, and she had to do it now. Get it out before they could use the tracker to follow her here.

She checked to make sure her guard was still asleep, it was the smaller man, Cassian, and slipped out of the room. It was the first time she had been out by herself, aside from her trips to the bathroom. She hadn’t gotten a good look at where she was when she had woken up that first time on their couch, but it took her no time to find what she was looking for.

The kitchen wasn’t a large space, but even in the dark, she could tell it was well stocked. The cabinets were full of crackers, cereal, and every shape of pasta imaginable and the fridge was larger than any she had seen before. She rummaged through the cupboards and drawers until she found a sharp-looking paring knife and an assortment of scented candles.

She knelt in the corner and laid out the candles, close enough for light, but not enough for her to accidentally burn herself. She lit them slowly, tapping their wicks one at a time and visualizing what it was she wanted. Once they were all lit, she held the knife over a flame in an attempt to sterilize it. She had seen people do it in films, but had no idea if it actually worked or how long she had to hold it for. Once the knife had cooled, she tried to calm herself, psyching herself up for the task at hand.

She needed to get it out. She could feel it, nestled under the skin of her arm, telling them exactly where she was. If she thought about it, she could almost feel it pulsing softly, but she knew that was just her imagination. She took a deep breath, and set the knife to the soft flesh of her inner arm. Another breath, and she plunged it in, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out. Blood spilled down her arm and soaked into the hem of her shirt/dress. She twisted the blade, trying to pry the tracker loose, but she couldn’t get it to come out and only succeeded in widening the cut. Panic roiled in her gut and her eyes were going blurry with tears as she threw the knife aside. With a whimper, stuck her finger into her own flesh and managed to slide the little chip free. Scrambling for the knife again, hands slick with blood, she brought the handle down on the chip again and again, smashing it to pieces. 

“What the hell is happenin’ in here? What do you think you’re doin’?!” she hadn’t noticed him come in and she glanced up in surprise when Cassian’s hands closed over her wrists. 

“Drop it.” he said, squeezing her left wrist and she let the blade slip from her fingers and clatter to the floor. 

“I...they...they were following. They know where I am. They always know. I had to get it out. Had to get it out. Please, I can’t go back there. I don’t wanna go back there” she sobbed, losing all the self control she had left. 

“Hey, hey! It’s ok. You’re alright now. No one’s gonna hurt you.,”  Cassian wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to his chest and rubbing her back gently. “We’re gonna keep you safe. No one’s gonna take you back there. You’re safe now,”

“I...had to g...get it out” she gasped between sobs, stiffening at first, but then relaxing into his embrace, allowing him to comfort her. She felt him shift as he looked over her head at the remains of the tracking chip.

“They were trackin’ you? ‘course they were. I’m so stupid. We shoulda checked,” he sighed and then pulled back to look her in the eyes, his hand cradling her cheek, “But darlin’, why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you come to me? I coulda helped you, coulda done it for you and it wouldn’a hurt you none.” 

Amarylla averted her eyes and pulled away from the touch. She was grateful that they had rescued her from that place, but that didn’t mean that she had to trust them, and certainly not with a knife to her skin. Cassian seemed to sense her reluctance and sighed, rising to his feet.

“Come on then, let’s get you cleaned up” he helped her to her feet, and then caught her when the world went spinning. She was lightheaded and dizzy, she must have lost more blood than she thought. She felt his hand go around her waist as he both supported and guided her out of the room.

She didn’t notice where they were going until she saw the open door of the first aid room, harsh white light spilling into the corridor. She stopped in her tracks and she couldn’t stop a small, pathetic noise from escaping her lips. Cassian glanced down at her and then to the doorway and back, not understanding. She felt herself starting to back away, trying to turn and run, but Cassian held her firm.

“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt ya, we just need to see to that cut of yours. You’re loosin’ a good deal of blood” he tried to comfort her, but she shook her head and kept trying to pull away. The light was so bright, blinding her eyes and calling up all of the memories she was trying so hard to forget, and she could see the glint of cold metal and the smooth steril white of the tiles, and it was all she could do to not break down and start screaming. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a whimper.

“Please don’t make me go in there” her voice was a whisper and she thought at first that he hadn’t heard it, but then she felt Cassian guiding her to the wall.

“Alright, but I need to go get some things. Can you wait right here for me? We won’t go in, but I need you to wait right here, just for a second, and then we can go somewhere else, ok?” She nodded, eyes still firmly screwed shut, and heard his footsteps retreating. Then, a thought came to her and she slid her hand along the wall as she stumbled blindly towards the sound of Cassian rummaging for supplies. 

“I...I think there might be more. You need to check…” she trailed off unable to finish the thought. Cassian paused in his search and came to the door to see Amarylla practically cowering against the wall, eyes shut and her face mostly hidden by a curtain of hair.

“You think they put more than one tracker? That seems… excessive” he regarded her for a moment, “Are you sure?”

“I need… I need you to check. Please, will you check. And…” she trailed off, unable to bring herself to ask the question, but equally unable to let the thought go. He sighed and nodded, collecting a few more things before she felt the brush of his hand on her arm. Once they had turned around and were heading the other way, she opened her eyes, trying not to see what supplies he had in his other hand. He led her back into the room she had woken up in and sat her down on the bed. He had moved to turn on the lights when she made a small sound and shook her head violently, setting the world spinning again. He looked her over critically before leaving, only to return with the candles she had left in the kitchen, as well as a few more she must have missed in her panic-driven search earlier. He arranged them on the nightstand then sat down on the bed next to her. 

“Can I look at that arm first? Irina’s gonna give me a thrashing if I get blood on the sheets.”

She smiled slightly and then nodded, letting him clean the wound as best he could while her gaze flitted around the room. 

“I think you might need a stitch or two, is that ok? Will you let me do that?” he asked, trying to catch her eye “I can give you something to numb it, or even sleep if you want.” he had barely finished his sentence though when she shook her head in protest.

“I don’t want to sleep. Please. No sleeping. I’ll be good, I promise. Won’t… won’t move. Won’t make a sound.” Her terrified eyes met his concerned ones and she relaxed slightly. He wasn’t going to hurt her, at least, not right now. Not in this way and she was immensely grateful for that fact. He looked like he was going to protest, but he just sighed again and nodded. 

“I need you to keep as steady as you can, but you don’t have to be quiet. I’ll be quick but it won’t hurt that much. Might not be pleasant, but shouldn’t hurt too much” he murmured as he assembled his supplies and got to work. Amarylla’s gaze shifted back to the room, unfocused, when she felt the all too familiar prick of the needle and the odd tugging sensation of the thread. She let out a small whimper, but then it was over, just as fast as it had started. It was never over this fast. Normally, they took forever stitching her back up, not caring if she had started to wake up in the process. Cassian layered some gauze and wrapped a clean bandage around her arm and then touched her knee gently, pulling her back to the present. Her eyes snapped back to his, surprised.

“See, super easy. All better. Now we don’t have to worry about makin’ a mess of Irina’s pretty blankets. I’m gonna scan you now, ok? This won’t hurt at all, I promise” Amarylla nodded slowly and allowed him to lift first one arm, then the other, ghosting the detector just over her skin. He slid it across her chest as well and down her legs. Everything came up clear, until she heard a beep from somewhere just behind her back. Her heart plummeted. Cassian brushed her hair over her shoulder and touched a spot on the back of her neck, just above her shoulder that made her flinch badly.

“Woah, sorry. I guess I should have given you warnin’. You’ve got somethin’ here…” He trailed off as her hand flew up to feel at the small lump just behind the crook of her neck. 

“Out.” she said simply, meeting his eyes again, somehow both demanding and pleading. 

“I can… are you sure I can’t give you something? I would feel better if I numbed the area, even topically…” but at the look in her eyes, he shook his head in submission, “Alright then. I guess… Can you turn around for me please, the light is better here.” 

Amarylla hesitated slightly, but took a deep breath and turned around as he instructed She pulling her hair over one shoulder and burying her face in it, trying to think of something else, anything else to tune out the rustling sounds behind her.

“I know this is hard darlin’ but it would be better if you could relax your shoulder a bit. As much as you can. There you go,” the hand on her shoulder made her tense again but she took another deep breath and let the tension flow out of her shoulders. 

“I want you to focus on your breathing, ok. Take a breath in, hold it, then let it out slowly, ok? I’ll do this quickly then we’ll be done and you’ll be safe, ok? Alright, now deep breath for me,” She felt the scalpel slide in just as she had started to exhale, and her breath caught in her throat for a second before she forced it out. In. Hold. Out. Focus on the breathing. Don’t focus on the blade in your neck, the tweezers hunting around beneath your flesh. 

“Breathe” she heard Cassian murmur gently, and she did. She felt a strange sense of release as he pulled the chip free and went about bandaging her up. 

“I’m gonna get this to Urs, uhh, Usbeorn for him to look at, ok? He may be large but I’ve seen his hands do crazy things with computer parts…” he trailed off uncomfortably, gathering his supplies. “You should get some rest. I’ll check on you later.” He smoothed her hair gently, just for a second. “You’re really brave, you know that? Try and rest now…” and she watched him walk away, looking back only briefly before closing the door and leaving her in candle light.

[dragon-kazansky]

The hypnotist - Jervis Tetch x reader

Summary: Tension builds up in Arkham when Jervis breaks the rules. You befriend Jonathan and Jerome brews a plan. 

Chapter 11 - Toxic and dangerous

Sitting across from your doctor sets a lot of dread within you. You know before each session what the conversation would lead to as you noticed some of the staff keeping an eye on you.

The first minute was just total silence. Your doctor stared at you with her hands entwined together on the table. It felt as if she was trying to read your mind, but you could only smile at her.

After all, you knew what she would want to talk about.

The situation was funny to you. A major concern about you was your attraction to Jervis Tetch. She had called it an obsession, and perhaps to an extent she was right, but what you felt for him was real. 

They would just never understand.

"Jervis Tetch has returned to Arkham." Her gaze doesn't shift from you. She's trying to get a reaction from you.

All you do is smile.

"I know. You know I know. I know they tell you everything." You grinned.

She hardly blinked.

"How can you expect to get better if you spend so much time with the focus of your obsession?"

"See, I don't like that word. You assume I'm obsessed with him, but it's not like that." You chuckled softly. "Have you ever been in love? Sure, it's a weird tale to tell, but it's true."

She silently wrote down in her book.

You sighed softly, finding it funny she thought you couldn't read some of the words upside down. You didn't need her to know that though.

"Perhaps from now on we should keep you both apart. We stand a better chance of helping you both that way." She stared at you blankly again.

"You think that. Let me just say this now. Nothing would stop me from trying to be beside him again. Separating us will only cause more problems for you, and I know you wouldn't want that."

It was hard to tell what she thought about that statement. She continued to remain silent.

"Is this that why you talk about with him?"

"That's confidential information."

"Oh, boohoo!" You stuck your tongue out at her. "As if secrets mean anything in this place. The guards talk."

You glanced at the door, knowing there was a guard out there waiting for the end of your session. He would escort you back to the others and pretend he didn't hear anything. Later he will go and gossip with his mates because the staff here had nothing better to do.

"You haven't been here all that long and yet you seem to know quite a lot." She would have sounded impressed if she didn't look so bored. You wondered why she was even here.

"I have a friend who has served more than enough time in this place. He's taught me everything I need to know about Arkham, its staff and its patients."

She knew exactly who you were talking about. It was all written down in your file and in her book.

"Let's talk about your new found friendship with Jerome. How is that going?" She was trying to sound neutral about the whole thing, but you knew the last time she was concerned about that. The staff were just too afraid of him to do anything about it.

It was funny really.

"Good. We spend every day together." You gave a wicked grin. "Jerome's fascinating. He's very clever."

"Clever?" She was writing in her book again. "Is that what you call it?"

"Don't you think so?"

"He terrorised Gotham, killed good men of the GCPD, killed his mother." She was watching you like a hawk.

"Yeah. His mother, that was just the beginning. He knew exactly what to say to get Gotham on his side. He opened their minds, spoke to their psyche's. I think that's pretty damn clever. As for the GCPD, do you really think they were good men? The police force has been corrupt for as long as the city has been standing, and they're not very good at their jobs." You sat back in your chair.

She didn't say anything. Again.

"I think that concludes our session." She closed her book.

"Right. Can't wait for the next one." You gave her false grin and stood up, approaching the guard at the door.

Your doctor didn't say anything as you left the room.

You're not sure what she could have possibly thought of you, but you knew the conversation would be pretty much the same next time. You just hoped she listened to what you said about Jervis.

You would be a force to be reckoned with should they ever separate you again.

The guard led you back to the main room to join the others once again. As you turned the corner you bumped into the young man you saw the other day.

"I'm sorry." He apologised quietly.

"Don't worry about it."

He walked around you and headed towards the room you had come from. It was his time for a session.

You turned back around and continued walking. You made a mental note to talk to him later. Jerome would thank you.

The moment you came back, Jervis was on his feet and reaching for your hand. You chuckled as he dragged you over to the table.

Jerome was nowhere to be seen.

"I missed you."

"I was only gone a moment." You chuckled, enjoying the feeling of his thumb running across your hand.

"A moment too long."

"Where's Jerome?"

"I'm not sure. He said he had something to do." Jervis glanced over his shoulder, presumingly where Jerome was last seen.

"Curious." You muttered. "Never mind, at least we get to spend some time together." You couldn't contain the huge smile that spread across your face.

"Yes. Indeed." Jervis' face lit up with excitement. It painted him to be away from you after your hasty confession earlier. He just wanted to spend time with you.

You reached out and pushed some of his hair back, letting his features sink into your mind.

"I have an idea." He whispered, leaning in.

"Oh? Do share?" You leaned in also, wanting to hear his thoughts.

"Tonight when the lights go out, don't go to sleep. Wait for me." His smile sent a shiver down your spine.

"Why? What are you planning?" You let a smile stretch across your face.

"You'll see."

Jerome had returned from wherever he had ventured off to. He was grinning and there was a slight spring in his step as hurried over. His laughter was uncontrollable, clearly something exciting has happened. A joke no one else would understand.

"What did you do?" You and Jervis sat upright again, looking at the ginger curiously.

"What makes you think I did anything?" He placed a hand on his chest as if he was offended by the very thought.

"Because you're laughing and it's unsettling."

Jerome gave a pout, but it was gone as quickly as it came. You were right. He was impressed. Jerome smiled.

"Hatter here needed something, so went to fetch it. That poor guard had no idea how to react when I came to him. You should have seen the look on his face." Jerome let out a loud string of chuckles, hitting his knee in the process.

"What did you need, Jervis?"

Jerome pulled out a little keyboard and slid it over to Tetch quickly.

Jervis was quick to hide it.

"For tonight?"

"For tonight." He gave a toothy smile.

"You two love birds have fun, I'm going to try again with that kid over there." Jerome stood from the table and headed in the direction of Jonathan.

"Oh yeah, I'll have to talk to him later. Jerome seemed intent on me being friends with him." You watched as the teen sat down in the corner again.

"Probably only because he won't speak to Jerome."

"I'll see to it later then. So go on, what's the plan tonight?"

"It's a surprise my dear." Jervis reached for your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly.

You giggled and pulled your hand away, placing both your hands on his cheeks and meaning over, kissing him.

"I look forward to it."

Lunchtime came around and once you had your tray of food, with a nod from Jerome, you sat with Jonathan.

Jervis was a little sad he wouldn't get to sit with you, but he was also impressed you were so willingly doing this for Jerome. He watched from their table as you approached the teen.

Jonathan didn't say anything right away. He was caught a little off guard you had sat with him, but was quick to carry on as if he wasn't bothered.

He was used to sitting alone.

"You're Jonathan Crane, right?"

He looked up in shock.

"How did you-?"

"Jerome Valeska." You gave him a smile. "Thought maybe we could be friends. Don't worry, I won't go around telling people who you are."

"You know who I am?"

"Yeah." You leaned in closer. "Who else has a fear toxin in this city?" You whispered.

Jonathan looked incredibly nervous.

"Chill, it's cool. No one else knows." You leaned back and turned back to your lunch.

Jonathan glanced over at Jerome and Jervis who were both looking right back at him. His looked back at you. He had been curious about since he saw you yesterday. He didn't know very much about you.

"Why are you here?" He asked softly.

"To make friends with you. I just said that." You said politely.

"No, here, in Arkham."

"Oh. It's simple really, I drove myself mad pining after a man who went crazy over his sister. He killed a few people after she died, struggling with the loss,  and I didn't do anything to stop it, Gordon didn't think that would take a toll on me, I can only imagine what that did to Lee. I was determined to be with Jervis because after all the time I spent with him, I fell in love with him. I only told him that this morning. Getting into Arkham was not easy, let me tell ya! I am one determined crazy lady." You chuckled.

Jonathan blinked silently.

He had no idea who half the people you mentioned were and not sure he completely understood you, but if you were as crazy as that had sounded, maybe he should just roll with it.

"Right."

"Yeah. I'm here now, so no point dwelling on the past. Gotta keep an eye on the future!"

Your smile was so bright and full of excitement, it was unsettling, but Jonathan understood. He got it.

"What do you want from me? Why does Jerome want to be my friend so much?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I just agreed to come and talk to you." You shrugged. "Anyway, you don't want to spend all your here alone, do you? I can't imagine that's much fun."

"I guess." He muttered.

"I'll tell you what, I'll give you some time to think it over. I know it's probably a weird thing with it being Jerome Valeska and Jervis Tetch, but both of them are pretty cool people. Jerome is a personality on his own, and Jervis can hypnotise people. I'm just an oddball." You gave him a smile. "If you decide to take me up on my offer of friendship, come sit with us tomorrow."

You got up and grabbed your lunch tray, moving back to where Jerome and Jervis were sitting.

"Well?"

"I think I might have convinced him. Give him some time. I think you freaked him out." You chuckled.

Jervis smiled.

Jerome rolled his eyes.

"What a team we will make." His grin made you shiver.

"What are you planning?"

"All in good time."

The rest of the day was otherwise uneventful. Jervis spent as much time with you as possible. After your confession, he had fallen in love with you more than he thought possible.

You did as he had asked. That evening when the lights went out, you waited.

You listened to guards make final checks before either going home or returning to the office, depending on their shift.

Time seemed to tick by slowly as you waited.

You had no idea what the plan was, but you trusted Jervis knew what he was doing. If he asked you to wait then surely he was coming to get you.

Then you heard the sound of the door of your cell opening. It popped open just a little, waiting to be forced open the rest of the way. You gave it a push as someone gave it a pull, allowing it open easily.

"Jervis!"

"Y/N!"

He held his hand out and you took it, letting him lead the way. You were still unsure of what the plan was, but it was rather exciting sneaking around a night.

"What if we get caught?"

"Don't worry, dear. Jerome saw to that." 

You chuckled and let him take you into the dining hall. It was weird being there since it was so empty. The lack of noise from patients made the room feel eerie and far too vacant.

"What are we doing here?"

Jervis stood walking and stood in front of you. The look in his eyes was so soft. He was so filled with love.

"I wanted to spend some time with you alone. I have waited so long to be with you like this again." He lifted his hand to caress your cheek. The touch was barely there.

"Arkham isn't the ideal place for a date, Mr Tetch, but I'll take whatever I can get." You reached for his hand and held it between your own.

"What's the plan for the evening then?"

Jervis smiled.

"We dance."

Tetch pulled you closer to his lanky body, one arm snaking around you as the other grasped your hand.

Your giggles filled the room, the sound echoing off the walls, as you danced to the imaginary music.

Jervis made sure to make use of the room. The pair of you glided across the floor, smiling and laughing. 

All he wanted was to be this close to you.

The pair of you slowed and rocked side to side gently. Your head was resting against his chest. The silence of the room allowed your thoughts to run wild.

"Do you have any idea what Jerome is planning?" You asked quietly, but your voice still echoed in the otherwise empty room.

"Not exactly, but I believe it is in our favour to stand by him."

"Yeah, I think so too. I just don't see what the plan is. I guess that's what so… cool about him. He has a plan, clearly, but I think he's still putting it together." You gazed up at him.

Jervis had his eyes closed, lost in the moment.

"Whatever happens I'm sticking with you." You smiled.

Jervis opened his eyes and looked down at you with a love sick gaze.

"I won't let you go anywhere else." He chuckled.

You leaned up to kiss him, but before your lips got anywhere near his a loud bang sounded from behind. Someone was coming down the hall.

"I thought we would have more time." Jervis sighed. "Whatever happens, stay out of sight and go back to your cell." He gave you a gentle push towards the door of the hall.

You glanced back at him upset that your time had been cut short.

He gave a smile and waved you away.

You hurried out the door and ducked down behind the opposite wall from where the footsteps were coming.

A moment later Jervis made his exit from the hall and you watched as he ducked out of sight.

Just as you went to make a move you heard voices, choosing to hide just a little longer.

"Inmate Tetch! How did you get out of your cell?"

You listened as he tried to come up with a way out, but from the sounds of it they weren't letting him go too easily. He complained as they cuffed him and dragged him down the hall.

Deeming it safe for you to move, you hurried to your cell. The door was still open, you were surprised no one had noticed. Jerome must have done a good job of clearing the guards out from this section.

You closed the door behind you and let it shut behind you.

The next morning you went into the hall to get breakfast. Jerome was the only one present and you grew concerned.

"Where is Jervis?" You sat down, placing your tray down opposite Jerome.

"I heard he got caught last night." He gave you a pointed look, silently questioning what happened.

"Our time got cut short last night. He got caught out of his cell. I figured they would take him back, but why isn't he here?"

"A few days in solitary. He can roam around in there." Jerome grinned.

"Damn it." You sighed. You wouldn't see Jervis for a couple of days.

"Not to worry. It's only a few days. Ya still got me." He gave you the ol' Jazz hands motion.

"Lucky me." You chuckled, teasing him.

A tray was placed down next you. Both you and Jerome gazed up to see Jonathan sliding into the seat next to you.

"Hey." You smiled.

"See, told ya!" Jerome grinned. "Welcome to the crazy wagon."

"Thanks." Jonathan didn't sound all that impressed. You gave him a nudge with your shoulder.

"Don't mind him. I'm glad you decided to join us." You tried to be as friendly as possible. He was clearly still cautious about Jerome, but honestly, this was probably for the best.

Jerome was a dangerous individual, but he knew what he was doing. as crazy as that sounded.

You leaned forward to get Jerome's attention again.

"Are you going to share your plan with the class or do I have to keep guessing?"  You put your chin in your hand and smiled at Jerome.

Jonathan furrowed his brow and looked between the pair of you.

"I suppose. I didn't plan on keeping it from you for long." He leaned in, glancing around the room quickly. No one was paying attention to your table. He deemed it safe.

"They think they can keep us locked up in here and they'll be safe." They being the people of Gotham. "I'm wasted in a place like this." He began to laugh.

"True." You agreed with him.

"I'm gonna get his out of here. You, me, him, Tetch. We're going to drive Gotham mad!" His grin was sinister. You're sure your heart stopped beating for a second.

"What do you need?" You asked quietly.

"Nothing yet. Doing anything too soon will only cause more trouble than it's worth." He leaned back. "Sit back and wait. I'll let you know when the time comes."

You shared a look with Jonathan and shrugged.

"I'll be waiting then."

Jerome burst into a fit of chuckles.

You wondered how his mind worked.

At lunch Jonathan sat with you both again. Jerome got up a one point to tease one of the other inmates, trying to put on a show. He claimed he was bored, but you were sure he was just doing it because he could.

By dinner you had become rather bored yourself. Not seeing Jervis, but knowing he was in the building somewhere, was draining your enthusiasm.

Jerome had tried to make you smile, only succeeding once with a stupid little joke. He at least felt accomplished for doing at least that.

The next two days had passed the same.

Jonathan had spent every given moment with you and Jerome, becoming used to the ginger's eccentric personality.

Over those few days, others really began to  notice your little group.

Inmates had started to shy away more than usual when the three of you entered the room. Jerome was rather proud of this and wasn't ashamed to show it.

The staff were concerned with the lot of you. Having Jerome Valeska and Jonathan Crane know each other was bad enough, but your behaviour was becoming unpredictable and they wondered if these two had anything to do with that.

The way the three of you would sit together and chat amongst yourselves had become concerning to the guards.

Jervis was let out of his confinement. As they opened his cell in the solitary block, he was given a warning from the guards and his doctor about sneaking around at night.

His cell was going to receive some extra security. They weren't sure how he got out. They didn't even find their missing key card, or seemed to notice it was missing to begin with.

The staff here weren't very observant.

Jervis entered the lunch hall.

The three of you were sitting at your usual table chatting and laughing.

You had yet to notice Jervis.

The hatter walked over.

You looked up.

You both smile at each other as you hopped to your feet and ran towards him. He opened his arms and caught you in them, hugging you tightly to him.

You leaned up and gave him a long awaited kiss. You could feel his joy from the action.

You didn't let it last too long as you wanted to take him in, pulling apart and gazing up at him lovingly.

"Look at you!" You smiled at him.

Jervis chuckled.

"Do you like it?"

Jervis' hair had been cut. It was shorter, but it suited him so well. The best part was the paper hat he had sitting on his head. He hadn't had one since Ed and Barbara kidnapped him.

"You look wonderful! What a pleasant change." You chuckled, reaching up adjust his hat ever so slightly.

Jervis' smile made you feel warm inside.

"We should probably not sneak out again. As much as I want to spend every waking moment with you, I don't want to be separated from you like that again." You gave a soft smile.

Jervis reached for your hands and gave them a squeeze.

"Perhaps you're right."

Jervis glanced at the other two sitting at the table.

"I see Mr. Crane has joined us." He smiled at the youngest member.

"We're a team of four now." You sat down, pulling Jervis into the seat next to you.

"Is this everyone?" He asked Jerome.

"Sure is. What a team!"

You looked between the three of them.

With these three guys on your side, you were going to take over Arkham until the time was right.

Gotham couldn't keep you all locked up here forever, and you really wanted to show Gordon he underestimated all of you by thinking Arkham could hold you all.

You smiled at them.

Becoming friends with these three was a dangerous thing, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

You looked forward to the future of Gotham.

Tags:

@mistressoftorture @fandombeehive @awyr @queenofmonstersanddemons@they-shot-me-with-a-knife

[blogdecjunior]

A midsummer night

Submission for the DEFCON 28 Safe Mode Story Contest.

You can also read it here

*makes a joke about JS*

11:49 <cjunior> Going to post it on #memes when it's a bit populated.

11:49 <voldemort> 😂

11:50 <cjunior> gonna go go and write a psychological thriller set in cybre one day with $skywalker as main.

11:50 <grid_lock> psych

11:50 <cjunior> where he shouts at vold.

Ren knew what his car looked like and probably had his car license number clearly up in his photographic memory, so he had no trouble in finding Benji's car from the parking lot. The clock would tick past about 11 at night when Benji gets back home from his work. Ren knew that too, that's why he was already here in the parking lot at around 10:45, in his sky-blue Porsche 911, listening to Johny Cash on the radio, slowly rocking his fingers to the lovely rhythm on the wheel, while his palm rested on the gear knob. It was all like an '80s film. 'It's almost 11, mate, where are you', He said to himself. He was impatient. The Johny Cash song moved to a one from the Stones. The distorted voice of Mick Jagger gently caressed the car and the good night. It was warm, and it was summer. Which meant, the clouds were gone and the sky was clear again. A night as serene as it can get, with the luminous moon gleaming and the white twinkling stars giving their special harmony on the black, but well-lit sky. Finally, a tall, lean guy came walking from the office building. He looked western and clearly like a follower of the bohemian ways. Dressed like 1994 and 1974 together, with a jacket, that'd instantly make him the hippiest person in the room. And with a pair glasses, with which one could probably see through the afternoon Delhi smog. The Porsche caught his eye, indeed, but he casually walked to his car, a yellow convertible, put his laptop bag in, and drove out of the lot. Everybody loves a game of cat and mouse, he must've thought to himself. He hadn't had turned the car into a sedan, and the warm breeze swept through his long, brown hair. Yes, it was summer. But it felt like it could rain. It was a Friday night and Benji felt like he should put the pedal to the floor and try to make that trouble inside his head go away. The breeze was almost soothing, almost like breaking free, but barely escapism. He sighed deeply and drove on through the freeway. On the rear view mirror, he saw Ren and his Porsche, clearly following him. He sped up, and took a hard right turn to the upcoming exit to the suburbs, that would've shocked anyone passing by. But, there was no one. It was just Benji and Ren and the dull streetlights. Benji raced through the twisted curves. The only thing that stood still to him was the sky full of stars. He drove about a mile, and settled. The dust still hadn't settled. Yet, the summer breeze refused to take them away. Ren walked cross to Benji's, still seated comfortably in the driver's seat, through the choking dust, looking like a hero, and put his elbows on the windowsill. "We need to talk." --- At Benji's, everything was as cypher-punk as it can get. Dark, with cables laying all across the floor, old routers with their hoods off and broken Game Boy boards. Benji poured a drink to a glass and placed it in front of his guest. Then, he settled on his armchair, placed his arms on the sides of the chair, leaving an impression that he would soon have the whole world under his command. Still maintaining eye contact, Ren slowly held the glass to his nose and smelled it. "You prefer gin to tonic?", he said, breaking the silence of the night. "Yes, Ren. Old habits", he replied after taking a seat and pouring a glass for himself. "I know about you picking Johny Cash and vim over anything, now gin over tonic?" Benji shrugged, helped himself with his glass and sat back. Probably after reminiscing about the good breeze he had just drove through, Benji quickly pulled his mind together. "The purpose of your visit?" "Lately, I have some trouble sleeping." Things weren't looking good from the start of the year. First, there was the reformation. The major part of the members of the team demanded equality amongst all the sub groups. It was all for the good, it was the sign on the times. Now there are team meetings before each CTF, more communication and more growth. As the head of the team, he embraced the transition and welcomed to take more power and stress off him and onto the team. It was like the beginning of a new era. But, as responsibilities became more distributed, performance withered away. The numbers weren’t looking good after Volga. Cyber was pushed into the top 100s in that one. It wasn’t so great in the other one either. It was like all something went wrong. It was almost like the decline of Roman empire. "And you know, Benji, there are some nights where I even feel like there's no point in carrying along with it." "You know about weeds, mate?", Benji replied, with a very serious, yet funny look on his face. "Weed?" "Yeah, there are some species, no matter how hard you trim them or poison them, they continue to grow back?" The air over Benji's hung very low, concealing everything the two men spoke. "You have to plough up the top soil and pull out the taproots", he said, giving his undivided attention to the man in front of him. A bit befuddled, Ren took his eyes off to his watch. The watch read 11:45 PM. He looked outside through the window. The suburb lay inebriated with the subtle star shine, with city lights at the far horizon. Ren got up and walked to the door, after seemingly finding answers in that view, but his mind was still disconcerted. "And get some sleep!", advised Benji, as Ren turned the front door handle. --- That night, midsummer, Ren came rushing in to the Cyber lab. The stars were now concealed with dark bellied clouds threatening to shower down at any instant. The sky seemed to be replicating his state of mind. He was running, or it appeared that he was. His hair smelled of sweat and dust, moreover sorrow, in an overwhelming extent. His face was red with his brows sunken and covered with layers of sweat, from running and his thoughts. He wiped his sweat off from his brow, opened the big wooden door and walked in. ‘Finally, the Cyber Lab!’, he must’ve thought. All of his sadness, anger and his urgency seemed to dissolve away in the subtle tranquility of the Cyber Lab. Where the binaries get spaghettified; the warzone. Although, there were other people and his mates in the lab, at the moment, he felt like he was alone. All of the times he walked through the dark corridors of the Cyber Lab alone at night, he had always felt a certain kind of feeling, like in no place else. It’s peaceful and quiet. Like there’s a spirit who watches all of us from above and leads Cyber through hard times, through the right path. More of like a community server that anyone worthy can make use of, but magical; Community-spirit. A spirit that always pushes you forward. The Spirit of Cyber. Taking in his presence and the feeling, he continued walking, to the far end, where the Cyber Lab’s main hall laid brimming with silence and darkness. Him walking through the corridor, this late in the night, under the series of lamps, over and over again must’ve made him feel like a ghostly spirit. Meanwhile, sky had started to break down with sound of thunder which echoing through Cyber, scattered and eventually dissolving away into the mystery that surrounded it. Cool wind was rushing in. Ren stopped near the long table, just by the ESP8266 which collects the attendance data. Beep. Beep. Imperion was there, grid_lock was probably there, zer0k was definitely not there; Usual Cyber. And the lab grew cold, eerie. Somebody from the end of the table, where he usually sits, leaned back, in a familiar gesture, as he was expecting him, but was met with no reply. That was Balthazar. To him, it looked like this was going to be one of those late rainy nights with CTFs; Late nights with nightmares.They'd buy biscuits, chips and rarely, a drink to keep them contained and usually Balthazar gets over the line first. "You know, I'm something of a Raja, myself. You can link me to the old dynasty of the coastal city." And then he'd talk on and on about how would've been powerful if the times hadn't changed, totally drifting off from the purpose of having the drink, which was to help himself in solving the challenge. A part of Balthazar thought and wanted it to happen that night. Ren must've went through the same thought too when he shot a good look at everybody. He could see the feeling on Balthazar's face. He carelly looked upon his mates and then at his hands. That’s when one of his mates saw that he had been holding a can of a sports drink, in his hands all the time. Something you don't normally see. But there he was, Ren holding a drink and the whole lab became spontaneously became madly silent and restrained. He was still looking at the can, now like his whole life depended on it. Mad images rose and fell in his mind. So did anxiety. He increased his grip on the sports drink, trying to contain his anguish, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate, just before he threw the can at the wall next to The Room Of The Beeping Things, where the can exploded like a bomb, with the drink reaching as far as the Operating Systems Security Lab, and the sound reaching much farther. Nobody moved a muscle, and silence echoed through the dim walls again. It was confusion. And the team looked at him in awe. The rumbling sky made way to a wonderful shower. Little droplets rained down, dissolved and slipped away. At that moment, Ren had a wonderful fantasy. What if the river was flowing right through the window? All the fish, sting-rays and the mud would all flow through the window and he would be able to watch it just from his station. And what if there's a river flowing through the Room Of Beeping Things? You could watch the river swell during the monsoon and maybe try your luck in fishing, just from his station. Watching the muddy water flow away, Ren would call "Benji!". He wasn't calling. He was a screaming. While the cool wind continued to rush in, to that midsummer night. The sky seemed to be replicating his state of mind. The silence and the darkness got intertwined and melted away into ether, eliminating all individuality and bestowing the team with absolute focus. With the sound of thunder, every once in a while. Still, the man’s face was distinct in the shadows. Everyone could clearly see the spark in his eyes and the gleam of his glasses. “You call this productivity? You call this… a team?”, he bellowed in a voice very powerful, like one possessed. He had never took his voice so high. It was the beginning of something Cyber hadn’t yet seen, well at least the present Cyber. “This isn't what Cyber is about.” He looked around. His voice was now almost getting buried in the thunderous clatter of the rain. He took his glass off, sat down, took a moment for himself and began. The thing Ren does best. It was about to happen. Few rain drops slowly rolled down the windows and immediately fell away. The sky seemed to be replicating his state of mind. I knew that I was going to hear something I’ve heard people say a million times to me, again but this time, its going to lay a deep impression within me. Perhaps, it’s in the way he was molded. He was never the one for hollow thoughts. The word on the street was he was in the Olympiad or something similar when he was young. What puzzled everyone the most is the infinite karma in settling in this place helping people, after thousands of adventures, while patiently waiting for the moment of great reckoning to arrive. It was like in those American movies, where the head coach walks into the locker room, delivers a speech that lifts the hearts of everyone in the room in order to go that extra mile and achieve the impossible. Climbing higher and back down, blending into everything Ren said that night. And that’s what had happened. It truly was. Maybe it was a prophecy, or The Spirit Of Cyber, who knows. Now, I remember his glasses and his grin, right before he ended. I remember his voice, now a distant murmur, waiting to come back into my mind on the cold rainy monsoon nights, when I need it the most. And in those nights, the words will come back and envelop me again. “You are as useful as I am. You are just not aware of how useful your contribution to the society that sacrifices you, is.” It’s a reminder. To walk on with your tensed jaw and clenched fist till the very end. To fight in the beaches and the landing grounds. To go till the end. Until you feel your nostrils dilate with the smell of sweat and blood. And feel liberated.

La fin :3

[destielharlequinchallenge]

Coming soon from the DHC

Title: The Roommate Dilemma

Created by: Blue Masquerade

Summary: Castiel Novak had hoped that college would be a new start, that the invisibility he’d suffered in high school would magically go away, but that hadn’t happened. Instead he was still the same socially awkward loner with few friends. When a gorgeous guy started sitting next to him in General Psych, Cas suffered his crush in silence. When that same gorgeous guy showed up at his apartment door to pick up his roommate for a date, he continued to suffer in silence. Of course Dean would be dating Lisa. They were both members of that alien species called ‘beautiful people’. But when Cas learned that Lisa was just dating Dean as a springboard to bigger and better things? He couldn’t stay silent any longer.

Rating: General

Major Warnings and Tags: no ao3 warnings apply; Dean/Lisa, college au, insecure Cas

Where to find more work by this creator: ao3

Preview:

Ah, Friday night. The one night of the week that Cas really let himself relax and ignore the ever-growing stack of papers and readings and other miscellaneous homework. He dropped down onto the sofa with a sigh of pleasure, avoiding the broken spring without a second thought. He picked up the controller while the load screen continued on the TV.

He frowned, shot a glare back towards the bathroom, and turned up the volume. Honestly the pipes in this old place sounded like they were about to burst, so whenever Lisa took one of her hour-long showers he felt like his eardrums were going to explode from the headache caused by the noise.

Better his eardrums than his bladder, he supposed. He always made a point of using the facilities before she got started with her date night routine, or else he ended up having to run down the street to buy something at the gas station as an excuse to use theirs.

He was in the middle of a boss fight he’d been trying to win for a week when there was a loud knock on the door. “Hang on,” he called out. “Be there soon.” He knew better than to call for Lisa. She probably wouldn’t even hear him, let alone answer. It wasn’t just the shower. It was the whole post-shower routine, which he didn’t know the details of. He just figured it must be elaborate if it took her another 45 minutes after the water stopped running.

He went to the door and opened it.

“Oh. You’re Lisa’s date?”

Dean Winchester stood on the other side of the door. Dean Winchester, his General Psych colleague. The one he had a huge crush on, which he admitted only to himself and only because he refused to lie to himself, even if he was more than happy to keep such details from anyone else.

“Oh hey, Cas!” Dean’s smile lit his face, as though he was genuinely happy to see Cas. “I didn’t know you know Lisa.”

He was so screwed.

POSTING IN JULY TO AO3