#i think... idk i drank a lot of tea

[chocolate-failure]

Boiohboi I'm freaking out. I think it's been exacerbated by the tea I drank. I fw black tea heavily. I've really been digging irish breakfast tea but of course black teas, especially shit you be drinking for breakfast have a fair amount of caffeine in them. But man oh man do that shit be slapping like dicks on clits.

But yeah, I don't like feeling like I fucked up and I kinda feel like I fucked up. I bought presale tickets to this concert and spent a whole fucking lot to get floor seats but they've sold tf out before and I really want to see these bitches in concert. I feel like this is the definition of fomo but like I'm not so much scared of missing out as much as I'm just highly motivated to enjoy myself and I really like live music. It highkey feels like fomo implies that one covets an experience that's not entirely worth the investment. If I enjoy myself I feel like the experience is always worth it. Buuuuuuut idk if I got hitouch and I feel kind of dumb for impulsively buying this $600 ticket. I have the money, I could buy another one if I really wanted to and just give the other away but I also get so goddamn nervous and feel horrible when I buy stuff. Idk... but they're listed as general admission even though they're on the floor and with my fucked up impulse control and lack of executive function I felt super rushed to go ahead and check out so the ticket wouldn't get released... God the more I think about the more panicked but chilling I get. Like I'm panicked that I fucked up but also it's fine and my last hitouch experience wasn't great so maybe it's better I don't get hitouch. Not to mention I got the ticket on ticket master so it's not gon be like the 2019 MX concert. It's a real ticket, just expensive af. But also I feel like I fucked up. But it's okay, right? Like it's not the end of the world. But don't forget that you fucked up and should be ashamed of how dumb you are. Just buy another ticket when they go on sale fr.... how tf do I check if I have hitouch like.... I just need to know. Ugh.

I'll be fine.

But I should've checked or talked to someone who's done this before. Why didn't I ask someone?? I hate this.

You have floor seats stfu and move on.

Okay so yeah I'm trying not to scream but coolin, y'know.

It's okay I'm okay it's okay I'm okay it's okay I'm okay....

Okay

I feel fizzy. Like my brain is soaking in McDonald's sprite. Quite unpleasant. But writing has helped. It's helped an incredible amount. And I feel like it directly correlates with my weight. The last week I've been able to firmly cement myself in the 170s. Very much a good thing. An exceedingly comfortable development. I feel like the 170s were difficult before but this time the 180s were really mfkn hard to free myself from. I'll need to look back and see but almost entirely certain 170 was a problem for me in the past while the 160s weren't that bad but the 150s made weight loss go back to being hard. 150 is very comfortable but harder to maintain than the 140s I feel like I could maintain 140 along with gaining some muscle. Maaaaaan

Also I'm nervous af about food when I go visit my aunt in June. Like I kinda really don't wanna mfkn go cuz buffalo is horrible but also performative eating is a huge strain around my family. There are more people around who know that food used to be an issue for me so they'll notice subtle shit. Then going to see Ichigo... is that the name I gave him? I feel like it is. My bff from when I was a little ass kid. I'm taking a flight from Buffalo to jfk and hanging out with him and his partner might be extremely hard for me 🥴 like I kinda feel like it's gonna be too much. God I'm scared of losing all my progress but maybe if I can get myself down far enough I won't be as bent tf out of shape if a gain a couple lbs. I just really REALLY don't want to disappoint myself. But I'm a proverbial disappointment, it's probably inevitable.

I'm scared.

[peapod20001]

I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3

[dumb-doll-lips]

Thanks to tiktok i learned a new word for like how right now I have no idea if my stomach feels weird bc I’m hungry, getting period cramps early, am getting sick, or am full. That it’s having a poor sense of interoception.

[whiskrz]

this was a very nice year but i still want the next one to be a lil easier

[yoshistory]

i need to make a comprehensive list of "bevs that give me the tummy ache + tired + bones hurt" disease. insofar ive got arizona green tea, apple or grape cider (any brand or type), apple juice (horrible version of this, #2 on the scale), and sprite (BY FAR WORST OFFENDER)

[whyoneartheven]

What head canons do you have for the LU boys? (Yes, this is a request for you to ramble about them)

aaaahhh hello! Thanks for asking, but wow, goodness me

this will take some thinking XD

umm

ok a lot of these are a lil generic or just other people’s ideas I kinda adopted but here goes!

also I didn’t expect it when I started but this got long…

for Legend, I really like the idea of him drinking tea and still having an apple orchard. And also having honey bees! (These aren’t mine originally lol) Also I feel like post LU (this ofc may change depending on the ending) he fell into depression a little bit before digging himself out with Ravio and Zelda’s help… he cut his hair during this time. idk I just feel like that would happen. I like the idea of him having a good singing voice. (merperson stuff but also even beforehand. He definitely sang lovely duets with Marin once she taught him how) Also I feel like he’s one of those people that’s always cold! So he secretly likes to cuddle :)

with Wild, I feel like… he definitely doesn’t use recipes! This is based off how I am in his game and irl, as I just throw things together and never go back to see how I made things before, but also I feel like it just fits his personality! I think it would be hilarious if he named his horses at first after anything that had an impact on him so like, one horse is named Zelda and another is Stir Fry. Or smth XDDD Also based on my experiences in game (to an extent), I feel like he doesn’t actually care about legitimately looking fashionable… it’s more that he likes wearing things that looks crazy XD

on to Hyrule! Ok this isn’t as much a headcanon as a ship but I really ship him and Aurora; I feel like they’d be absolutely adorable together but he’s really private about it! I like to think Hyrule can sew? And I think he’d love to run around barefoot on fresh grass! And just, be in love with nature in general! And maybe he doesn’t have an eye for color; he can’t tell if colors clash or actually match. Also is it just me or does he feel like out of the entire chain he could easily be a Studio Ghibli protagonist? Just me? Idk lol

Time! I like the idea of Time and Malon having a running joke that the other is color blind, and the chain eventually picks it up! And then Time keeps mistaking one color for another (on purpose or not? We’ll never know), and every time the others go wild XD (this may or may not be based on a joke my parents have irl hehe). When Time first met Malon he was very very lactose intolerant. And drank it anyway, of course! also I feel like Time really likes flowers? Idk why! And finally, if Time was in the modern world he’d be the guy who’d be eating food months to years past the expiration date…

Four, my beloved! Umm this is kinda a design idea more than anything but I like the idea of him growing his hair out and wearing it in a ponytail post LU! (provided he doesn’t die…) I don’t think of him as having voices in his head or being a system but I still like the idea of him talking to himself sometimes XD! Also this is just something canon I don’t see talked abt a lot but I love he and Twi’s relationship sm! Four totally has RBF and definitely stares at people accidentally when he’s thinking… also I saw a crack fic somewhere where Four was already married to Dot and had children and the chain were shocked; it was hilarious, and while I don’t think he would actually have kids yet, I think it’d be hilarious if he and his Zelda are already quite far along in their relationship (as I ship them lol)

the man, the myth, the legend, WIND, is next! This man has Opinions. I feel like he’s the kind of person so have opinions on things he’s only heard of two seconds before, like automatically deciding he will like a food or deciding the other way round. (And yeahhhh I’m basing him on my brother lol) I’m definitely not the one to come up with this but Wind is probably the one with the best (and most opinionated) fashion sense (most of the others are just hopeless in varying degrees so it isn’t hard)! Maybe older him bonded with young Wars in the War of Eras over this (bc I love the idea of older wind being there), Idk XD! Also he definitely braids Aryll’s hair and is generally very responsible (I mean he’s a big brother he’s gotta be XD); he starts off almost treating LU as a bit of a vacation! Nothing will go wrong, his family is safe, and he gets new friends :D

Warriors, the wonderful man, is next! I feel like he’s very nostalgic and a little sappy. Like, just in general. He likes to look back on his happy memories! Also (once again not my idea) but I like the idea of Warriors growing up either orphaned or really poor, and living in the less palatable portion of Castle Town. (Therefore he played pickup soccer as a kid; he just feels like he would lol) I definitely ship him and his Zelda (ok tbh I ship ALL the Links with their Zeldas lol). I feel like at the point of LU they’ve talked abt it but Warriors isn’t ready (thanks to Cia and maybe just all the barriers in his mind about being inferior to her or smth) Also, give this man the craziest accent you can find and I am here for it; whoever first came up with that is a genius. Ok yeah you can probably tell I love Warriors angst

XD Sky!!! My bestieeee!! If Sky was in modern times he’d be one of those people who gets sleepy when they drink coffee, fs! He is definitely the artistic one, and maybe during LU he discovers a bunch of mediums besides woodworking that he loves (and maybe he makes a bunch of art for Sun, who knows!) This next one is based off @margindoodles2407’s Forger from her loz AU but the idea that his parents died in a house fire and he lived with Gaepora and Zelda until he was older is so cool to me! And bc of this I feel like he’d really hate being around fire (to the point of panic attacks? Maybe, maybe not). Finally, hopeless bird lover Sky is a beautiful thing. As a bird watcher myself, I cannot blame him.

Last but not least is Twilight!! This guy totally holds conversations with animals all the time and it freaks people out (they can never tell if he actually understands them)! Twi definitely has a lot of respect for kids too and talks to them like they’re adults (by using the same vocabulary and tone, not by talking about things that aren’t good for kids to hear XD) and I feel like he would write painfully cheesy love poems? Twi definitely can’t cook but I feel l Ike he also cares the most about food? Idk? ALSO LET THIS MAN QUILT. IDK I THINK HE’D BE TERRIBLE AT IT BUT STILL TRY AND IT WOULD BE FUNNY

ok, and that’s it!!! Wow, that was a lot…

and I could definitely come up with more lol

[spiegelgestalt]

I was looking through your re zero reblogs and a tag stood out to me. What do you mean you think Otto is a manifestation of Satella? I’m really intrigued by the concept

Ohh! Thank you for the question. So this is a pet theory of mine which is probably wrong but I find incredibly entertaining. Beware this is going to be long and rambley. The TL;DR is probably: the only person who is as obsessed with Subaru as Otto is, is Satella It tries to explain several things that I find weird about Otto (some of these things might be explained in the LN but Tappeis writing style doesn't click with me and so i'm really slow with reading them) :

a) Ottos sudden entry in Subarus story (and the fact that Subaru always meets him no matter what he does) the first time he meets Otto at a pub because Otto made a financial mistake and drank his sadness away. This one's fairly unsuspicious. The second time is stranger. Subaru is going back to the mansion alone in the darkness and meets Otto on the road. Not only that. Otto is standing near the light and waves. Like he was expecting him. Why? Does he do that often - wave to travelers who are just passing by? But the most suspicious entry is his last/permanent entry to the story - his getting saved from the witch cult. Why did the witch cult kidnapp him an no one else? Why did they plan to sacrifice him? Why wasn't he with the rest of the merchants? Suuuuus!!! This at least hints that Otto might have connections/significance to the witch cult

2) why does the whale eat him and not Subaru? Subaru should have smelled tastier so why did it chose Otto? Maybe because Otto smelled of the witch? And if Otto knew that the Mabeast would go after him it would paint his pushing Subaru of the cart in a different light.

3) he's not in roswaals gospel which even has Subaru in it. How/why? Is it really just because he's so insignificant?

So these things make Otto suspicious but they don't link him to Satella necessarily. So here comes my reason for that

3) Otto's behavior in Season 2 don't make sense. Not only is he ride or die for Subaru very very fast while the other is basically nothing but rude to him. He explains this with Subaru saving him but technically that were the iron fang people and Otto isn't thankful to them at all. And even if that were the case - why is Otto so sure that Subaru needs help? As far as I remember he offers Subaru help in every single time loop, even in the ones where Subaru still believes himself to be on top of things (and shouldn't send sadboy pleas help me vibes)

4) And than there is the speech which will save Subaru. And I find it quite suspicious: a) this speech is suspiciously parallel to Satellas speech in the witches tea party it kinda feels like a continuation of it

b) Otto says that he understands that Subaru wants to be strong in front of the girl he likes and in front of the girl that likes him but he shouldn't have to be strong in front of his friend. So the girl Subaru likes is obv. Emilia but why talk about another girl who likes Subaru... who is that supposed to be? Otto doesn't know about Rem. Does he mean Emilia again? But why say it that strangely - or was he just covering his bases. IDK for me it kinda made sense as a Emilia/Satella distinction (or if Otto DOES know about Rem that makes him really suspicious again)

C) Otto takes it very personally that Subaru didn't ask HIM for help. But why should Subaru do that. He technically knows him for what, a few days?

D) Subaru notes that this kind of speech is usually reserved for the heroine (something he also mentioned about being summoned to another world and we know that was Satella - so is that the case here too?)

5) Otto has a lot of parallels to Subaru/Satella has a lot of parallels to Subaru

So all of this could hint to the fact that Otto is a time traveler and/or has some connection to one of the witches (either Pandora or Satella)

But I like my theory of Otto being a manifestation of Satella because it fits neatly into the theme of the parallels between Satella/ Subaru, it is something Satella would do, the thought that Satella sees Subaru dying over and over again and just says: okay have to do everything myself. If he won't accept help if I'm a woman I gotta go in as a guy is extremely funny to me, I believe that being kinda pathetic is an important property of being associated with envy AND Otto is next to Satella the person who most obsesses over Subaru and only Subaru

And Satella could rewrite history if she needed to (that would explain Otto's memories)

[alexxncl]

how the obey me characters like their coffee

brothers, dateables + luke, and side characters

resurgence of my coffee obsession has me thinking thoughts

and i'm right bc they all told me this themselves

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs

lucifer

i feel like he likes his shit sickeningly sweet...like you can barely taste the coffee

so much creamer it almost looks like milk, so much sugar that your teeth will fall out just by looking at it

it used to help him stay awake, but he's immune to it now. he just drinks it to drink it

he doesn't care for iced coffee that much. he had a sip of mammon's and almost gagged

mammon

the blackest coffee you've ever seen, extra espresso shots, whether it's hot or iced

y'all know how pedro pascal and jaemin from nct like their coffee? yeah...nasty

if he hasn't had his coffee, don't talk to him

unless you're mc or luke. then you have a pass

he drinks it before he leaves the house, while he's walking to RAD, while he's in class, while he's at lunch, while he's in detention, while he's-

you get the picture

but he won't admit that he's addicted

levi

he likes chai tea 🫶🏽

coffee never sat well with him, it made him more anxious than he already is

he likes the taste but he can live without it

he drank a bunch of it once while pulling an all-nighter with mammon before an exam...never again

luci and mams keep a very close eye on his caffeine intake

satan

no cream or milk, but a shit ton of sugar

"bitter like my soul" headass

he doesn't drink it often, but he's particular when he does

doesn't like hot coffee because he can't drink it right away

either makes it himself or asks asmo to do it when he's too tired

asmo

more milk than sugar with a pretty design on top

an oat milk girlie

strongly prefers hot coffee but will drink either

he just has a knack for creative stuff, y'know?

i feel like he worked as a batista for a while and does little pop up shops for his fans :(

beel

he doesn't drink coffee like that. it doesnt do anything for him

but he likes sweet things, so he asks belphie to put flavored creamer or sweetened almond milk and a lot of sugar in it whenever he does drink some

he started drinking it to get closer to luci and mams, but he never made a habit out of it like the two of them

asked asmo if he could learn how to make it so that mammon wouldn't run out during the day and is actually really good at it

belphie

do NOT give him coffee

he hates it

it's nasty and it makes him jittery

he'll make it, and he's almost as good as asmo, but he won't drink it. absolutely not

diavolo

never really got the hype until he had some of lucifer's

only drinks his coffee that way now

he still prefers tea, but a little caffeine every now and then won't hurt

he tried black coffee and hated it. you know he loves his sweets

barbatos

drinks it on occasion but will lie if you ask him about it

he's THE tea demon, yk? can't let the title be for nothing

if he makes some for diavolo, he'll drink it however dia likes it

if he's just making it for himself, he likes it with a little sugar and no creamer

simeon

spiked (sometimes, when he's not writing) and black

mainly because he doesn't want luke to drink any and thinks this is the best course of action

also because it keeps him awake

(he's like lucifer, coffee doesn't do anything for him anymore. it's a habit atp)

solomon

spiked and sweet

he's too old and too tired

but it's only ever spiked with top shelf, aged, hard shit bc he's extra

tried it black and spiked and hated it

luke

please don't give the baby coffee

11 year olds don't need coffee

he kept asking to try it, so mammon gave him some of his (much to simeon's disdain) and he quite literally almost died

he'll never touch it again bc why is it so BITTER

he won't admit to it but he cried

mammon has proof - videos and pictures

mephisto

tried it once and threw it away

likes his black like mammon, but way less espresso

only likes iced americanos

also likes them extremely watered down ??? idk man he's weird

raphael

another tea drinker but he likes his caffeinated

can't stand the taste of coffee, he doesn't know how simeon drinks it so often

tried some of simeon's - before he started spiking it, mind you - and threw it away bc he thought it was disgusting

simeon did not in fact cry (yes he did)

thirteen

it depends on the day, but she's a mocha girlie 99% of the time

when just wants coffee or she's having a really bad day, she gets her usual

if it's a really good day, she gets something different

iced or hot, she doesn't care

a very specific order and only gets hers from a very specific mom and pop shop in a run-down area of the otherworld

[somber-sapphic]

HIII IT'S ME OMG IM SO EXCITED COULD YOU POST THE NEW FIC ALL IN ONE PART??? CUZ I CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT EEEHHEHEH I LOVE LONG FICS ALSO IM KINDA NEW TO TUMBLR SO IDK HOW TO USE A LOT OF FEATURES AND THE ONLY WAY IVE FOUND TO MESSAGE PPL IS THE REQUEST PART LOL - 🦊

I'VE GOT YOU 🦊!! Sorry it took so long to upload, I thought of something else so I added and then had to edit that part :) I hope you enjoy!

Everything's Just Fine

You get sick and Emily is away with the team on a case. You were frustrated that you weren't able to help, so instead of resting you decided to do all of the paperwork that you could find. A great decision, right?

Word Count: 3k

-----

You sniffled and rubbed your bleary eyes, trying to focus on the pile of paperwork you were trying desperately to get through. Hotch had deemed you ‘too sick’ to go with them on the case, but he wasn’t there, leaving you to your own devices. You’d helped solve it by working through Garcia, who you had threatened into silence (in reality, you’d begged her to let you help and flashed the best puppy dog eyes you had) and your team would be home in three hours. 

Penelope had agreed to stay silent, but only if you drank the gallons of tea she shoved down your throat. You were sure that she’d laced it with some sort of medication, so you just pretended to drink. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate her attempts to coddle you, it was just that you didn’t want her to see you so vulnerable. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this, it was embarrassing. 

Your nose was running practically nonstop, your chest ached, you couldn’t stop shivering and every five seconds was filled with painful coughs or gross, wet sneezes. Every cough and sneeze tore through your already sore throat, making it feel like you had swallowed glass. The pressure in your sinuses made it feel like your head was about to burst. There was a good chance that the next fit of coughing would send your brain exploding out of your buzzing ears. 

“Sweetie, that really doesn't sound good.” Penelope said, startling you after a particularly rough coughing fit that brought up a wad of mucus and left you seeing stars. You swallowed hard, a little disgusted with yourself, and forced a little smile onto your dry, cracked lips. Judging by her raised eyebrow, she didn’t believe whatever you were about to say next. 

“I’m fine Garcia, just a little cold. Plus, they’ll be back soon.” You rasped, not realizing just how far gone your voice was until you had started to speak. It was a minor miracle that you had even gotten those two sentences out. You sniffed hard and coughed, turning your head into your elbow to avoid spreading your germs all over the innocent tech analyst. 

“Uh-uh, no way. Come on, come lay in my office for a little while. I’ve got everything nice and cozy for when Reid has a migraine, it’ll be much nicer than sitting out here in the cold.” The blonde coaxed, her voice like butter. She was lulling you into a false sense of security, smiling kindly and offering you a space in her Batcave. 

All you wanted to do was curl up and let out all of your stupid pent up emotions, you wanted to cry into the plethora of pillows that you knew she had and just fall asleep to escape all of the pain raging through your body. Every movement sent needles of agony through your bones, even your eyes hurt. You had forgotten that fevers could do that to a person. 

“I’m almost done here, I’ll put my head down when I finish.” You ducked into your elbow with a barely stifled sneeze and lifted your head with flushed cheeks. This whole thing was humiliating, no one was supposed to see you sick. You weren’t supposed to be sick. You were a fucking FBI agent, FBI agent’s didn’t succumb to simple colds.

Penelope frowned and reached out to touch your cheek, rolling her eyes slightly when you slapped her hand away. 

“I’m telling Emily. How do you think she’ll feel about all of this?” She gestured to your sickly appearance as if she hadn’t just threatened you as one would a toddler. You clenched your jaw, but parted your lips when you realized that your nose was too stuffed to breathe, and decided to just glare at her instead. 

“Penelope Garcia. I am not a toddler, you are not my mother, you are not my girlfriend and my physical wellbeing is none of your fucking business. Leave. Me. Alone.” The hurt expression that flashed across her face made you feel guilty, but you just wanted her to go away. Everything about this was wrong, her being able to see you at your weakest point was ever worse. 

“Alright, I’m going back to my office. Come find me if you need anything.” She murmured, bowing her head in understanding. You looked away, resurfacing to meet her gaze, you knew that if she said one more nice thing you’d probably break down. It would be so easy to just start crying. Or it would be if you had enough fluids left in your body to cry out.  

Sniffling back tears you went back to your work, the words blurring through your tears and the general haze that came from what had to be a fever over 102 degrees. You could practically see the look on Emily’s face when she’d come back, the disappointment and concern written in the worry lines across her forehead. She worried too much, especially about you. 

You scribbled your name at the bottom of the page inquiring about who was interrogated, accidentally scrawling your signature into the place where Hotch was supposed to sign. That was it. You were done. That was the straw that broke the exhausted, sick, miserable camel's back. You were absolutely done.

==

You stumbled up the stairs and into the first office you could find, intending to fall onto the couch where you would sleep until your girlfriend got home. She would be so disappointed in you. You made it halfway into what you assumed in your hazy mind was JJ’s office before falling to the floor, too dizzy to stay upright anymore. 

Part of you thought to call out for Garcia as you lay on the uncomfortable tile, your cheek pressed on the rug. The world went black with one final gasping cough as you slipped into unconsciousness. That was nicer than being awake with the pain. 

Unfortunately, unconsciousness was not exactly better. It was uncomfortable, too hot, sometimes too cold, like someone had dunked you in an ice bath which was then set on fire. Your disturbing, terrifying fever dreams were interrupted by a distant sound and the feather light touch of a hand on your shoulder. Both felt a mile away, but they saved you from the nightmares of being drowned in an icy ocean with no one to hear your screams. 

“Y/n! Fuck, EMLIY! Get in here!” You clung to the voice, whimpering as you struggled to pull yourself out of the void. She must’ve noticed your struggle because the owner of the voice combed fingers through your hair, coaxing you into the real world. 

“Hey, hey you. Can you open your eyes?” Sudden panic flooded over you and you shoved yourself away, ignoring the stars brewing in your eyes. For a moment you were pretty sure that you’d throw up, but you managed to curl yourself into the corner, cowering away from the touch. 

Your breaths were harsh and painful, they probably sounded that way to the blonde as well. The world was blurring around you and standing wasn’t probably the best idea, but you were already halfway to your feet. 

“Woah, Y/n,” JJ rushed toward you, raising her arms as you swayed, prepared to catch you. You pulled away again, trying to force out some semblance of words. 

“Go!” You yelped, tears filling your eyes. Everything was spinning, the woman’s face warping and bending in your vision. Something slammed and you looked up to find another blurry faced woman rushing into the room, wearing the same expression. 

“Y/L/N!” The second woman, Emily, barked, making you freeze. In different circumstances that tone would’ve sparked a flutter in your chest, but this was just scary. She raced to your side and grabbed your elbows, managing to keep you upright. You sniffled and met her chocolate brown eyes, searching for anything that could be construed as anger or unhappiness. All you saw was loving concern. 

“Shit, you’re burning up. Honey, why?” The brunette breathed, cupping your cheeks with strong, soft hands. You whimpered in response, doing everything you could not to just fall into her arms. 

“C-can you make t-the room stop s-spinning?” You managed, stumbling forward until your head bounced against her shoulder. Emily wrapped an arm around your waist and helped you over to the couch, murmuring gentle words that you couldn’t quite make out. Everything was fuzzy, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stay conscious. 

You didn’t realize you were crying until you were sitting up against her and she was brushing the tears off of your cheeks. You didn’t fully understand what was happening, but you knew that she was holding you, providing you with the love that you had so desperately needed. 

“Morgan, we’re going to need some help getting her to the car.” Emily murmured, stroking your hair as you leaned against her chest. Part of you was a bit concerned, the deal was no displays of romantic affection at work and here she was, holding you close, cuddling you like she would at home. This was bad. You were going to get fired. 

You pushed her away, little whimpers building in your throat. You slid back onto the floor, confusion and anxiety flowing through your mind. She was by your side in an instant, grabbing your hands as she tried to fix whatever was happening in your mind. 

“No, no no. No, They’ll be mad. They’ll be so mad.” You shook your head and pulled back, a harsh cough wracking your body. Your lungs were beginning to sound like crinkling wax paper, worrying everyone. 

“Come on honey, please get off the floor. No ones mad, we just want to help.” She soothed, inching back so as not to startle you further. Not even you understood the back and forth of your mind, it was scary just how many things were happening and all you wanted was to be somewhere dark and quiet. 

“Everything hurts…make it stop, please make it stop.” You begged, covering your ears, hiding from everything. It was odd, you were just so damn overwhelmed. 

“Okay sweetie, alright. Breathe for me. It’s all going to be okay. Does it hurt when I do this?” She asked gently, probing at your arm. You had apparently bruised it when you’d fallen and it had quickly turned a dark purplish black color. You nodded slightly, removing yourself from your shell so that you could talk to her. 

“We’re going to get you home and all cozy, but you’ve got to trust me. Will you let me?” Morgan and Hotch were in the room now, with Rossi hovering in the doorway. Penelope was attached to Morgan's arm, a panicked expression on her face. This was all because of you. It was both humiliating beyond belief and…almost wholesome? 

“M’kay.” You finally whispered, your voice basically gone at this point. She gave you a small, caring smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Can Morgan carry you?” You were too tired to even consider fighting it. You wanted to be home and if that's what it took, that's what it took. Emily moved to the side and the man stepped forward, nearly blocking your view of her. 

“Don’t leave me!” You yelped, grabbing for her hand. You refused to be away from her, no fucking way would she leave you alone again, it wasn’t happening. She clasped your fingers in hers and shushed you softly. 

“I’m right here, he’s just going to pick you up and everything will be okay.” She was being so understanding, so wonderful. You loved her so damn much. You nodded again and allowed Morgan to hoist you into a bridal carry, your head falling on his chest; you were just too physically weak to hold it up anymore. 

“Shit, Princess, your fever’s really high. Emily, you’ve gotta get that down.” He said, concern radiating in his words. She nodded quickly, still holding onto your hand. You glanced at Hotch as Morgan carried you out, disappointment shining in his eyes. Garcia looked mildly betrayed and you hated that you’d made her feel that way. You opened your mouth to say something, but she shut you up with a shake of her head. 

“Just get better, lovely. I’ll be by with some soup and Disney movies tomorrow.” You smiled at her, your eyes slipping closed as exhaustion took over. You heard a murmur of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘feel better soons’ as you were whisked away by your friend and girlfriend, falling asleep with your head bouncing against Morgan’s chest. 

==

When you woke up you were laying in your own bed, Emily grumbling softly as she tried to peel the sweat covered clothes off of your body. You whined softly at the touch, curling away from her icy hands. You sniffled thickly and pulled your knees to your chest, well aware that you were no longer wearing a shirt. 

“Look who's up.” The brunette cooed, reaching up to stroke your fevered cheek. You squirmed again, utterly unhappy with how much being touched hurt you. All you wanted was cuddles from the woman you loved but her gentle touch caused you so much pain. 

“My skin hurts.” You rasped, giving her a watery pout. Tears were rolling down your cheeks again, for what felt like the 10th time that day you were crying. You hated it, you hated your damn body and you wanted a hug. 

“Okay love, we can get that taken care of. If you sit up for me I can get some medicine in you and get something much more comfortable on.” She smiled, tucking a strand of hair back behind your ear. You shrugged, fully intending not to do anything. She rolled her eyes at your uncooperative behavior and lifted you into a sitting position, making you yelp in pain. She reared back at your pained sound, concern flooding her expression. 

“I can’t it, it hurts too much!” You sobbed, wrapping your arms around your knees and pulling them to your chest. You held that position for probably fifteen minutes until you finally managed to cry yourself out and looked back up at Emily who had a broken expression on her face. 

“How do I help?” She whispered, sounding as desperate as you felt. Your beautiful strong girlfriend was breaking just because you felt sick. You took a shaky, chest squeezing breath and forced yourself to calm down. 

“Um…will y-you help me change…and then maybe hold me?” The profiler gave you a kind smile and nodded, reaching out to stroke your cheek again. This time it didn’t hurt so much, the contact actually felt quite nice. 

It took a bit longer than either of you expected to get you changed, you were practically incapable of moving any of your limbs, meaning that she had to do all of the work. She did it without complaint, checking in every few moments to make sure that she wasn’t hurting you. 

“Okay baby, take this really fast and we’ll get you some sleep.” You didn’t fight when she handed you the cap of blue medicine, well aware that the Nyquil and fever would take you out in minutes. The goop tasted absolutely awful, so bad that even with your poor sense of taste and smell it burned the back of your throat. 

You coughed heavily into your blanket, a sound which made Emily’s face contort in worry. She patted your back as you hacked, helping you to release some of the mucus from your lungs. 

“We’re going to the doctor tomorrow if that doesn’t sound better.” She determined after a few minutes of listening to your exhaustive breathing. You nodded in agreement, well aware that the cough was worse than it should be for a simple cold or mild flu. 

“Stay with me until I fall asleep?” You asked, your body sagging as the medication sunk in. Emily slipped into the bed beside you, sitting a few feet away so as not to invade your personal space in a way that you weren't comfortable with. You hesitated a moment and looked over, feeling suddenly shy. 

“Um…will you hold me? Maybe? P-please…” She smiled kindly and pulled you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest as the two of you snuggled under the covers. You stifled a sneeze, but she just made a worried sound and kissed the top of your head 

“Don’t worry about that. Just sleep, okay? I’m right here, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” You sniffled quietly and grabbed the fabric of her shirt, grateful for her saying that. Fevers always made you edgy, but she had this way of fixing it every single time. She was your rock. She never failed to make you feel better, even at your worst times. 

“Love you Em.” You mumbled, your words slurred by sleep. 

“I love you too Y/n/n. Now hush, sleeping time.” Never one to disobey an order from your girlfriend, you closed your eyes, falling into a warm void of unconsciousness in the arms of the woman you were in love with.

[hayatoseyepatch]

hello sam pam (happy 500!!!)

want the full experience so i am on anon ( why was it was so hard to describe myself)

personality: she/her, intp, stem major. likes: spring, the beach, green apples, bears, cats, woody&earthy scents, short nails, indie games, peppermint tea, silver, watches, blue tights (that i recently got), smiskis, pineapple pizza. dislikes: the rain, food that's too hot, cherry flavored things, calling, wearing socks to sleep, card games. pet peeves: slow drivers, people who eat with their mouths open, talking during a movie, people who cut in line

fandoms: ive read/know all of the fandoms u listed except love&deepspace

tropes: so many but i will list fake dating and drunk confessions

type: someone easy-going and can take things slow

icks: people who cant hold a convo

idk what else...i will await ur verdict judge sam 🫡

Hi there undercover mootie ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ)!♡ I hinestly saw your trope and ran with it, I had so much fun. I hope you enjoy! MWAH

I'm gonna pair you with Jo Togame from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Jo Togame is more caring than I feel people give him credit for, we see it through his interactions with Sakura and Choji. He hangs onto your every word loving to talk to you about your interests. He loves just talking to you. He too hates someone who he cant just talk to. So the both of you could spend the longest time just talking, its ow he fell for you in the first place, getting to know you through your words and quality time.

⤜♡→ If you’re looking for easy going look no further than Togame. He is perfectly content to just enjoy your company. He doesn’t need much or have to have anything extravagant so long as he has you by his side that’s all he truly wants. Whether its just taking a stroll along the beach or sitting at home contentedly watching you play one of your indie games. He’s happy as long as he’s with you.

⤜♡→ I’m so glad you brought up earthy/woodsy scents because that’s exactly how I think Togame smells. Just this comforting scent of the outdoors not too powerful or overpowering, just a nice amount that you can smell as he holds you in his arms.

You blink the sleep from your eyes at the sound of your phone ringing, checking the clock you see it reads close to 01:30 am. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? Checking the contact you see that it was Jo. It was unusual for him to call you at this late hour, thinking something was wrong you scramble to answer it. “Jo is everything okay?” It’s silent on the other line, only for a moment before you hear his voice on the other end. His voice comes out slurred, obvious he had been drinking. “Babesss” He drawls, Togame always had a habit of calling you countless pet names. “Why aren’t you here, where are you?” You could hear the pout in his voice. Togame, the usual calm and collected one of the bunch tended to get a lot more loose when he drank, it was always amusing how especially clingy he became when it came to you. “Jo its almost 1:30 in the morning I’m in bed.” You can hear his whine, trying your best to stifle your laughter. “Well get out of bed, I miss you, come here. I wanna kiss your face.” That was new. You felt your face grow warm with the intentions behind his words.

As you were taking a moment to recover from his words, there’s a significant amount of fumbling on the other line. Sako’s voice rings through, definitely more sober. “I’m sorry about that we’ve been trying to keep him from waking you up.” You hear a lot of movement on the other line, no doubt Sako avoiding Togame’s confiscation of his phone, hearing his voice once more. “Sako, you ass give me the phone, I wanna talk to her.” To which Sako just lets out a burdened sigh. You giggle, shaking your head as you pull yourself out of bed. “It’s fine Sako, let me come take him off your hands, you guys are at the auditorium right?” After he confirms, you quickly grab your letterman, heading out the door to come pick him up. Once you arrive, you can see him perk up immediately, rushing over to you instantly. He wraps himself around you, placing a good bit of his weight on you as hangs off you, the impact knocking some of the wind out of you due to his large stature.

He smiles, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. “I missed you.” He mumbles, works slurred into your skin. You had a feeling it would take quite a bot to pry him off of you and he would be deeply regretting his actions in the morning with the hangover he no doubt would be having. After some minor convincing you managed to get him to leave with you. Taking him back to your apartment, you gave him some water and painkillers to try and prevent his head from splitting when he awoke. As you went to go set up the couch for yourself for the night, you feel his grip on your wrist, he tugged you into the bed with him. His body curling around your own. “Don’t leave me.” His words were so pleading, he was hanging on to consciousness as it was, so you decided to stay. He smiles as he rested his head on your chest. “I love you, I hope you know that. Wanna be with you for the rest of my life.” His words trail off and within moments his breathing evens out before soft snores fill the room. You lay there in shock from his words, but knowing even in this state that he meant them. You just hoped he wouldn’t be too embarrassed when you returned his confession in the morning.

[ilkkawhat]

tagged by @room-665 and @judyalvqrez, thank you both!💜💜💜💜

last song: Children of the Elder God by Old Gods of Asgard--in full. After that I was skipping through songs as I pulled into my neighborhood and driveway lol. honestly still seems like AW soundtrack music is like, the one thing I never skip since I got into it last November.

favourite color: Purple!

currently reading: House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, have been for a while lol I gotta get back on it. My mom got a bit of a kick out of seeing me moving the book around and flipping to the back and such 😂

currently watching: Series wise, nothing really since I finished Sorjonen...I've been just kinda watching a lot of youtube videos or movies. Been thinking about getting back into Only Murders in the Building (I watched the first two seasons I think? Maybe the 3rd? See I just gotta start over lol) and then watching Poromafia for my next Ilkka series (beyond just skimming), and I'm probably gonna start Interview With a Vampire sooner or later cause it's all over my dash EDIT: FUCK i forgot I'm watching Star Trek Enterprise! very slowly, I watch it while I chill downstairs with my dog when my parents go out shopping (he's got bad separation anxiety and is not allowed to go up the stairs anymore for his safety so I just go to him)

last movie: Rewatched Hell House 2 in full, started watching Butterfly Kisses last night but couldn't stay up to finish it. Trying to get in the mood for spooky season and last year I got really into the found footage sub-genre.

sweet, spicy or savory: Savory...not good with spicy (lol says a woman who works with chipotle peppers. We mill dehydrated pods and it was so strong the other day I legit threw up on my way out) but on a mild level I'm okay with it. Do like sweet stuff but I do have limits with it.

relationship status: Single, probably always gonna be that way and that's fine lol. But if I happen to meet someone maybe I won't be as much of a coward as I have been with other potential relationships I could have had...it also sucks cause I can't say I'm surrounded with the most pleasant relationships (my parents especially)

current obsession: Primarily Alan Wake, secondary Ilkka Villi and really just the Remedy Verse as a whole--I think work's just beating me down too much to enjoy really anything right now but god do I just crave for the atmosphere and aesthetic of Alan Wake 2 right now

tea or coffee: Coffee though I'm not against tea at all and will admit I haven't drank as much coffee as I used to, I stopped during one summer cause it was too hot and I think I may have lost my idk taste? tolerance? for black coffee but I do get iced french vanilla coffee from mcdonalds like once a week lol. (really I just drink a lot of celsius for my daily caffiene fix)

the last thing i googled: Rune Factory 5 cause I saw it's on sale on the Nintendo e-shop and I'm debating getting it even though I have tons of other games I should be playing and let's be real, I'm just gonna continue playing Alan Wake 2 for the tenth time tomorrow instead of even playing the recently bought Star Wars Outlaws 😂😂 but RF5 is like, 20 bucks and that's the cheapest I've ever seen it so it can't hurt just to get it in the library and maybe start it later

breaking the tag chain but if anybody wants to do this, go for it and say I tagged you

[aittlw]

what i eat in a day:

non fasting version

breakfast: iced green tea latte (30kcal) and half a bread with turkey breast (95kcal).

lunch: white rice, salad and chicken breast (230kcal).

snacks: banana with chocolate (165kcal)

dinner: same of breakfast and a little slice of pumpkin pie (250kcal).

i also ate some grapes during the day and i think it might be 100kcal? idk, and i drank a lot of zero sugar soda (im definetly not proud but its zero calories!)

total: 870kcal

exercises: burned 300kcal by cardio! (i did some strength as always but its not something i want to mention) 🤣🤣🤣

thats it! see u 🥰😘

[kneeslapworthy]

inspired by this post by @mbspolls i wanna go into what kind of drinks (non-alcoholic for the kiddos of course) all of the characters like

When it comes to the adults in the society you could definitely argue that they’re all sober and I would agree with you. But for the sake of a fun tumblr post, let’s play around with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks: 

Number Two makes cocktails that are borderline science experiments. She also makes her own kombucha (that she drinks out of a huge jar like with the pickle juice).

Rhonda and Miss Perumal occasionally take shots of tequila when they have a girls night. Apart from that Rhonda drinks STRONG coffee and Miss Perumal is more of a tea-girly. 

Milligan OBVIOUSLY drinks whiskey and maybe like... idk a white russian? Something gross lmao. Other than that, my guy drinks egg creams. He’s classy like that. 

Mr Benedict is the least likely to drink alcohol in my opinion (ngl in the aforementioned poll i voted for hot cocoa), but if he does drink he’s a fruity cocktail girly (just like me fr). 

Curtain drinks sparkling water or milk (like a psychopath) and of course green tea because Helth (but make it really fancy loose leaf green tea with a very sharp taste that honestly tastes like paint water). We do see him drink alcohol in the show which i kind of think is out of character because he wants to always be in control and drinking alcohol sort of has the opposite effect?? But if he does drink, you can bet your ass it’s expensive and gross. 

SQ doesn’t drink a lot because the amount of times he’s accidentally drank paintwater has left him traumatized. But Mr Benedict introduces him to hot chocolate with marshmallows and his life changes forever. 

Reynie has a huge tea collection thanks to Ms Perumal. He pretends to like Classy Teas like Early Grey when in actuality he loves fruity teas.

Sticky is a weirdo that likes hot lemon water or something because he read that it’s good for brain activity or something. But like the intellectual he is he also loves hot chocolate. 

Constance drinks the most disgusting sugary sodas you can imagine. Reynie accidentally takes a sip of it once thinking it’s lemonade and nearly throws up. 

Kate drinks Bang Energy and spins around violently like a washing machine for 48+ hours. 

(feel free to add your own suggestions. i am constantly dehydrated so i am therefore not well versed in the world of beverages.) 

[tartigglez]

"goodnight, dear"

zhongli x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: i forgot to get one then celeste reminded me and i was like "aaaaaaaaaa"

summary: you're exhausted. luckily, only comfort awaits you as you come home.

tags: zhongli is very soft and its adorable yet odd, reader is tired to the point of almost collapsing (uh oh), lot of physical touch/petnames

tw/cw: mentions of fainting, light mention of insomnia but its not really specified idk (lmk if i missed anything)

a/n: i have written too much and the fic hasn't even started yet. anyslays just had a bath just drank tea feeling soft time for writing. also this is lightly based on the lyrics of "goodnight, dear" by youngk bc yes

opening the front door of your home with a click was always a satisfying feeling, but especially today. the sheer amount of work and deadlines on your back at the moment would be enough to send anyone spiralling, so can you really be blamed for the aching in your bones, your dizzy head, or your eyes' constant will to close? there is nothing more on your mind than slipping under the covers of your bed and shutting your eyes until the weariness fades away...

entering the hallway, and shutting the front door behind you, you are immediately greeted by the scent of bamboo shoot soup wafting at you from the kitchen, an immediate giveaway of your lovers presence.

after a moment, you hear a lid being placed on a pot, and footsteps approaching you.

"my love? are you well?"

the soft baritone of zhongli's voice was exactly what you needed to hear right now. he placed a hand upon your cheek, and a gentle kiss on your forehead, before helping you remove your jacket, slowly sliding it off your shoulders. after hanging it on the rack he turned you to face him, and you could not evade the worried look on his face.

"did something happen? are you sick? you must rest now."

"'m fine, li', just-" you paused, trying to think of a word, trying to ignore the fact that the room was spinning, and trying to ignore the fact that your legs feel weak beneath you. "tired, is all".

in announcing this, you felt your legs begin to give out, luckily your beloved archon was there to catch you, wrapping one arm around your waist, picking you up effortlessly and carrying you to your shared room.

he placed you down gently on the bed, which was unbelievably comfortable, especially now, in your state of weakness. the sheets were made by the most skilled textile workers in all of liyue, the nation your lover prided himself on.

"darling, who worked you to this point? is there someone who must be taught a lesson? perhaps a few flying rocks would do the trick?"

you let out a weak laugh at his words

"no, it is mostly my problem for taking such a workload on, please don't worry about me."

"you're lucky i love you, or else i would not hesitate. i am still held under the impression that many problems can be solved by flying rocks"

you smile lightly, and whilst trying to form an adequate response to your lovers attempt at comedy, your train of thought is interrupted by a brief removal of the hair from your eyes, and a gentle kiss pressed to your lips.

"wait here my dear"

placing another gentle peck upon your lips, your beloved leaves the room, presumably in order to ensure his soup hasn't bubbled over the entire kitchen by this point.

he returns, much to your surprise, in his half dragon form. his hair has been removed from its usual ponytail, and now flows down his bare back. the horns on the top of his head glow with gold in the dim light of the sunset coming through the bedroom window, and his tail presents itself in its own glory, gracefully moving behind the ex-archon.

"i figured you may feel more comfortable if i am in this state. may i lay beside you?"

it was hardly the first time you had seen zhongli look like this, but it never ceased to amaze you. for someone who did not care about others perception of him whatsoever, he truly always managed to look ethereal.

you nodded your head to indicate for him to lay down next to you which he did immediately. although he disguised it as wanting you to "feel more comfortable", the true reason that he presented himself in this form was because he felt he would be able to take better care of you like this, to further protect you from any threats of the outside world.

he manoeuvred himself next to you, so that he was facing you as you lay on your side. he pulled you closer to him before rolling onto his back and pulling you onto his chest, so that your head was buried in his neck, breathing in his scent of slightly burnt caramel and vanilla. his strong arms wrapped themselves around your form, as did his tail.

"my dear"

"mm"

"you must promise to never let yourself get to this state again."

"mhm"

"now." he brought his pinky finger to yours and wrapped it around it, which was something he had seen the mortals of liyue do whilst making a promise.

you couldn't help but laugh at his blissful unawareness, and tightened your pinky around his.

"promise"

"good."

you can hear his heart beating, and his light breathing threatens to lull you into a slumber incomparable to any other.

"li'?"

"yes my dear? is everything alright? do you need anything?"

"can i touch your hair?"

this struck the archon as quite the puzzling request. why on earth would you want to touch his hair?

"if you so wish, my lily, just be gentle"

you let out a content smile, moving your hand to make contact with his brown locks, and pressing a light kiss on the side of his neck as a sign of your gratitude.

despite how lovely this was, it felt oddly silent to you.

"li'?"

"hm?"

"will you talk me to sleep? i missed you"

"of course dear. shall i tell you the story of the time streetward rambler brought that absurd gift to cloud retainer? perhaps i have already told that one, hm. what about the time i had xiao run an errand to mondstadt and- ah."

already, you had drifted off into a slumber, courtesy of the age old words of your beloved.

he wrapped his tail around you ever so slightly tighter than before, pressed a kiss to the crown of your head and sighed in content at the sight of his exhausted partner getting some sleep at last.

"goodnight, dear"

[sadgirlvault111]

willow’s tumblr questionnaire

(so I read "Bad Reputation" by Becca Richie and Krista Ritchie about more then a year ago and since then I have been wanting to do this willow’s questionnaire so here it is)

Have you ever…

Been cheated on: never been in a relationship to get cheated on

Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed

Drank hard liquor: yes. I didn’t like the taste

Been drunk and thrown up: nope

Met someone who changed you: yes

Fallen out of love: I’ve never fallen in love to fall out of it

Found out who your true friends are: yes. I'm currently in a toxic friendship idk how to get out of (i don't want to)

Lost glasses: yes

Sex on the first date: idk maybe I’d do it? Thinking about it makes me nervous

Been arrested: uh umm heh

Turned someone down: like for what?

Fallen for a friend: no. I don’t like the guys at my school (you wouldn’t either if you saw them)

What was your…

Last drink: tea

Last phone call: my mom yesterday to pick me up

Last text message: i send a reel to a friend

More questions…

Do you have any pets: I used to have two Lovebirds one day we went out and after we came back we saw one of the bird's one leg was broken and was dead and after a few days the other died too

What did you do for your last birthday party: eat and sleep

Name something you cannot wait for: move out

What irritates you: being forced to speak up in large crowds and my bed being messy

Nickname(s): a lot

Relationship status: single

Favorite TV show: none

High School: can't wait to leave

College: scared and excited

Hair Color + Length: black and it falls a few inches below my shoulders

Height: 5'1 ToT

Your crush: no one at the moment

Tattoos: are haram

Right or left-handed: right

Any surgeries: yea one

Any piercings: two lobes on each ear

Favorite sport: NO

First vacation: cox's bazar

What do you like…

Hugs or kisses: hugs ig

Shorter or taller: taller but not too tall

Older or younger: older but not too old i think 2/3 years?

[monstersinthecosmos]

stealing your question as promised: what authors do you think shaped your writing the most when you were first starting?

-mothmage

sdjkgas in middle school my favorite authors were Anne Rice and Francesca Lia Block and I think they have SENSUALITY in common even though their writing styles are SO opposite. As a teen when I was first writing I think I learned so much from both of them, like the seriousness and drama of AR but at the same time, FLB is so concise and punchy and sometimes her books are like these waterfalls of adjectives and I tried to think in that way too! Like I'm a very visual person so FLB books were like fucking crack for me, just heaps and heaps of descriptions of color and glittery and starry night skies and flowers growing where they shouldn't and it feels like poetry!

(I opened a random FLB book off my shelf and this is what I mean: We walked up and down the hills until our legs ached, then rode the trolley car to feel rushes of salty, misty air. We had picnics and fed the swans on the lake under the flowering terra-cotta arches, drank tea and ate pastries in rooms with cupids and rosebuds painted on the walls, strolled through the park, green-dazzled, fragrance-drunk, gasped at treasures gleaming gold in the half-lit glass cases of the museum. Then we'd return with spices, fruits and vegetables from Chinatown, seafood and baguettes from the wharf.

Her writing is so simple but it's just like heaps and heaps of sensory details !! And it's an interesting spectrum between her & AR to see how much you can say and like what type of efficiency you can find, because both of them give me that same feeling and feel so sensuous to me. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE AND SMELLS LIKE AND SOUNDS LIKE, TAKE ME THERE!

So as a teen I think I was learning a lot from them both and like I remember a fic I wrote with someone at a mall and it was like my FLB moment, I was like OMG I MUST MENTION THE TACO SMELL IN THE FOOD COURT AND THE PERFUME KIOSK AND THE HOUSE MUSIC BLASTING FROM A HAT SHOP AND THE CRUNCHY SUGAR ON A PRETZEL! And that's something that's stuck with me a lot, I think. I always want to tell you how things feel and smell like we're going on a journey, okay!

They both also have a way of treating cities/locations like characters--FLB actually does this quite literally by describing cities as if they're women (like LA is a blonde woman with big sunglasses and NYC has dyed black hair with severe red lipstick that stains on her cigarette butts, etc something like that) and it feels really specific and made me think a lot about locations and settings and how they affect the characters and story! They were also both the first books I ever read with queer people! FLB's short story Dragons in Manhattan was the first story I ever read with a trans person back when I was like 12 or 13.

AND THEN as a final nail in the coffin LOL I read I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb when I was in 9th or 10th grade and it just really like !! IDK broke my head open for character voice. I don't think I'd read it so well done before, or maybe not noticed before. LIKE I MEAN this entire concept is like asking what did WE discover as kids or whatever, like so much of it is happenstance and if it hadn't been these authors it would've been someone else, and it's not like I stopped reading LOL like I still learn things from reading all the time! But Wally Lamb really brought this home for me. Like the way he writes Dominick's narration is just so like cynical and rugged and full of hurt and it made me think a lot about like how to profile a character with the language we use. I don't think FLB does this too much bc her writing is so breezy anyway and AR is so wordy that I don't think I could pick up on it as a teenager. I get more nuance now and see it better but it's there's a base level of like fanciness and purple prose that can be hard to see through on the first try, at least for me as a teen.

ANYWAY SORRY THAT WAS A REALLY LONG RESPONSE I JUST GOT REALLY EXCITED but Anne Rice + FLB + Wally Lamb wombo combo for emotionally torturous sensory overload cynical guttermouth style.