#i think what i'm saying is it feels strange to start the year feeling like things are going well & not immediately worrying
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iwriteasfotini · 3 days ago
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Major Jegulus Fluff and Sap
323 words of excerpt below my little commentary.
Feeling generous and just so impatient to share the more mature years of the story. You all don't know it yet, but I am a sucker for super sappy Jegulus. Like so sweet it might turn your stomach. Just wait...
What I'm posting versus what I'm currently writing and editing is like two different worlds. So here is some of a future installment which hasn't even been announced yet. O.o
Reg POV, sixth/seventh year
...
“Yes, I love healing with you.” James walked to the toilet and started to pee, Regulus left the door open as he walked to the kitchen. 
They lounged about, James telling Regulus stories. Then Regulus told a few of his own. He told James about the night they met on the astronomy tower, how he was already head over heels for Sirius’ best friend, James Potter. How James had grabbed his hand and Regulus felt truly seen by someone for the first time in years. 
“I used to take certain routes between lessons because I’d cross your path,” admitted Regulus. 
James laughed, “didn’t people think that was strange?”
“I was usually alone, no one even noticed. Including you.”
James gave him a mild look, “I started falling for you the day we crossed paths on the quidditch pitch. You were such a snarky little bitch. I loved it.”
“I saw you on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters when I was ten. You were running through the crowd laughing and I thought you looked so free.”
“I was so nervous my first day,” said James. “I covered it all up with exuberant behavior.”
“Does that imply you are actually an anxiety ridden wreck and cover it up with general arrogance?”
“Aṉpu,” said James, hand over his heart, “of course I’m an anxiety ridden wreck. Half of my heart is walking around outside of my body.”
“You know how it feels then?”
“To see you and feel like I was holding my breath. To feel my heart restart when I catch a glimpse of you across the great hall. To know that I’m the only one who knows all of you. Yeah Reg, I know how it feels.” James wove their fingers together.
...
I mean is this cruel to share knowing the work isn't going up on Ao3 for a year... SO MUCH to share before then. Including all those little moments the boys alluded to. ;-)
Check out my pinned post for more info, currently posting year one of this epic series!
iwriteasfotini on Ao3
PS My beta reader (and partner) who is cis, straight, white, and mid-thirties says my Jegulus scenes often invoke eyerolling for him. "Here we go again." Fuck yes, here we go again. And again. And again! Never too much sappy Jegulus. XXXXXXX
PPS It should speak volumes he's willing to plow through those lovey dovey Jegulus moments for everything else I'm bringing in this series. Brace yourselves people, shite's going to get real!
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discordiansamba · 16 hours ago
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katara couldn't sleep.
after several hours of tossing and turning in her bed, she groaned and sat up. she already knew what the source of the problem was- as her waterbending grew stronger, so too did her tie to the moon. when it was full, she could hardly sleep a wink. with a sigh, she quietly made her way towards the small servant's kitchens. she didn't think they would mind if she borrowed them to make herself some tea.
to her surprise, zuko was already there.
"katara?" zuko asked. "what are you doing here?"
"that feels like it should be my question," katara asked, "-are you making tea?"
zuko hummed in agreement, and asked if she would like some. she smiled and thanked him, taking a seat at the small table. watching him make tea felt strange- a little like she was watching lee again. he set a cup of herbal tea in front of her, then sat down next to her with his own cup.
they talked quietly for awhile, about nothing in particular. it was... strange, being on friendly terms with zuko. after ba sing se, she'd thought she'd never be able to forgive him- but it had been almost impossible for her to hold onto that anger after she'd learned what it had earned him. she'd ended up angrier at azula than anything. she'd used her brother, and then she'd gotten rid of him.
it helped that zuko was different now.
she guessed it made sense. she'd gotten rid of the false memories that had been implanted in his head, but he'd still spent two years living as a different person. and being a different person meant having a different view of the world- and the war. she didn't think they had to worry about zuko burning down villages anymore. the person who had emerged from that ordeal was... different.
if anything, she was starting to like him.
"so," she tilted her head, "-nervous about returning home?"
zuko blinked, looking up at her. his brow furrowed in confusion as he asked what she meant. he already was home.
katara felt a chill creep up her spine.
"zuko," she said, "-you're not going home until tomorrow. we're still in ba sing se."
"no," zuko frowned, "-i'm pretty sure i live here."
katara stared at him, and very quietly she asked zuko why he thought that. he blinked slowly at her, and asked why she thought he didn't. he... worked here, didn't he? he'd been invited to serve the earth king tea. he didn't say it with any of the confidence that lee ever had when he spoke of his life, like he wasn't sure about it.
"zuko," she said quietly, "-do you mind if i check your head for a moment?"
zuko didn't say anything. he suddenly didn't seem quite as... present, katara thought. she took that as permission anyways, drawing some water from the faucet and placing her hands over his head. she closed her eyes and concentrated-
-and instantly, she realized what the problem was.
zuko was sleeping.
she didn't mean metaphorically. zuko was literally asleep, despite what his open eyes and responsiveness to their earlier conversation might suggest.
spirits. zuko was sleepwalking.
...how long had he been sleepwalking?
no, more importantly. she had to get him back to bed. she smiled at him and agreed with him. yes, he did work here. which meant he had to get up early tomorrow morning. so he really needed to get some sleep. zuko stared at her for a few moments, before he agreed she was right. he let her guide him back to his room.
she stayed until she was sure he was actually asleep.
she'd ask around the palace the next morning. zuko had apparently been doing this for weeks, but none of the guards or servants who had spoken to him had realized that something was wrong. they'd just thought the fire prince was having trouble sleeping, just like she had. sokka even confessed that he'd had a midnight chat with zuko at one point too, but he hadn't noticed anything odd.
(he'd made him tea then too.)
when she asked zuko about it, he didn't remember a thing.
"agni," he muttered, "-i'm so fucked up."
"don't worry," katara promised him, "-i'm sure it's just because you're still in ba sing se. you'll get better once you go home."
...she hoped.
zuko's in the courtyard. he's got swords.
sokka is instantly worried. like. for a lot of reason. chief among them because before the whole... brainwashing thing, zuko's dedicated mission in life was hunting down and capturing the avatar. he hadn't shown any inclination to pick it back up after he'd gotten un-brainwashed, but...
"sokka," zuko doesn't even turn to look at him, "-i know you're there."
sokka stays still. he's bluffing. he's perfectly hidden in the bushes.
zuko points a sword in his general direction and tells him to get out of the bushes. okay. maybe he does know where he was. the not-looking but knowing where he is thing reminds him a little of toph, but zuko is apparently half blind. maybe that shouldn't be a surprise.
"okay, you caught me," sokka stands up, "-but the real question is... what are you doing?"
zuko just gives him a bland look. he's practicing, what does it look like? turns out his dao were in the jasmine dragon this whole time. it's been two years since he touched them. he's gotten rusty. he can't really firebend at the moment, so he figured now was a good time to pick them back up.
you know, sokka says. not to boast, but while you were off serving tea, he'd studied the blade himself. zuko rolls his eyes. yeah, i heard. you learned from piandao. something about losing your comet sword during the invasion and pleading with aang to search the ocean for it for you?
"first off," sokka says, "-it was a space sword. second off-"
he draws said sword. the pleading paid off. why don't we spar a little? swordbender to swordbender.
zuko briefly looks like he's thinking about killing him again. sokka doesn't mind. it's good for his recovery. then zuko just shrugs. sure. i could use the practice. you weren't the only one to study with piandao, though.
sokka readies himself. he's not worried. zuko hasn't picked up a sword in two years. how good could he be?
the answer? very.
okay. now he thinks he can understand how he'd broke aang out of pohuai stronghold with just swords. sokka sits up, and he swears zuko smirks as he sheathes his swords- but he also offers him a hand. sokka hauls himself up with it, dusting off the back of his pants. huh. guess that's why lan-wei wanted to convince you you were useless at swordplay.
"yeah, probably," zuko says, "-he wanted me to think i was defenseless. i'm pretty sure if you put dao in lee's hands, he wouldn't even be able to use them."
he looks at zuko. he asks what that's like, to have his own skills stolen from him like that. he shakes his head. he couldn't tell you. lee didn't even know what he was capable of. there's nothing to miss if you don't even know it's gone.
and that? that's scary.
"...i guess i should thank you," zuko says after a moment, "-for not just leaving me like that."
sokka shrugs it off. no problem. you weren't their friend or anything, but they couldn't just leave you like that. at the same time... he thinks lee had become their friend, at the end there. those last few days at the ember island villa felt like they'd roped a new friend into their little group. maybe it's why they'd all gone along with katara's crazy idea to let lee choose.
he missed him, just a little.
ah well. guess he'd have to just make do with zuko.
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rimouskis · 2 months ago
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one of my best friends is about to have a baby today........... so weird to be on the periphery of something so life changing. I want to go "life is going to change forever" as if it hasn't already
#I was thinking last night about how different we both are from the versions of us that were being young and active and busy and fit in pgh#before the pandemic and before her very targeted focused dating efforts yielded her the result she wanted (her now-husband)#[also I don't say that cattily lol she had the most coolheaded and down-to-business approach to dating bc she knew what she wanted.#and it worked!]#anyways I think back on that halcyon year of 2019 when we went to spin classes and spent every weekend doing something#or hanging out in her tiny mt. washington studio where we could watch downtown buzz at night#truly it was such a short period of time in retrospect. she convinced me to move here + then a year and a half later the whole world changed#and so too did we#I miss the her of those years (and I miss the me) but I'm making peace with not getting her back. it's cool to see her on this new journey#which she has worked so very hard for. like I cannot overstate the methodical and intentional way in which she has shaped her life to be#what she wants out of it. accounting for many bumps along the way that she's weathered admirably.#anyways within the next 48 hours she should be a mom. that's crazy#I feel weird when everyone around me is making lifechanging moves while I'm ''ho hum where should I go on vacation in the next 2 years'' lol#ay yai yai. strange to not want things other people want and being fine with that until you start losing touchpoints with your peers#then you're like. hang on now. what am I supposed to be doing right now
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viktortittiforov · 8 months ago
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the 2010s sure were a time in my life
#there's just....... there's just something about that time#it might have something to do with 2011 being the year i started high school and 2019 being the year i finished my BA#and also the last year before the pandemic#I DON'T KNOW I JUST. THINKING BACK ON IT THERE IS THIS MYSTIQUE TO THAT TIME. THIS STRANGE EXCITEMENT#which is most likely a result of me finally beginning to feel like i can shape my own life and who i am and daydreaming abt a better future#and like exploring myself. in 2010 i turned 14 and fully realised i'm bi and throughout the decade#i experimented with a variety of different like...... identifications and imaginations of who i am#some of those were quite consumer identities (e.g. i strove to be and was a very hipster teen) but nevertheless#i don't know dudes like. the pandemic took a lot from me in terms of ability to be excited about what's to come i think#even though my life is pretty good i'd say#but also maybe that's just what it's like to grow into adulthood and get a job etc. SIGH why am i writing an entire fucking essay#abt my 2010s teenagehood nostalgia#like majority of those years also SUCKED because i had zero real irl friends and was really lonely lmfao#it felt like life didn't really start for me yet#and i was constantly waiting to burst into it. maybe that's the mystique. constantly hoping i am on the precipice of smth extraordinary#is nostalgia for one's teenage yrs inevitable? even if you feel like you missed out on most experiences considered quintessentially teenage?#i only started having Teenage Experiences™ when i went to uni lmfao (i.e. early 20s)#but idk it's such a loaded period psychologically and it's horrible and frustrating when you're living it but then you think back on it#and you're like man..... sure was a time huh. wow#but idk my experience could also be influenced by so many other variables#e.g. smartphones and social networks becoming widespread and common#that was also a pretty significant thing that happened#anyway i think i'm abt to run out of tags so. that's it#sry this shoulda gone into my diary probably but i inflicted it on you instead#neptalks
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welcometogrouchland · 11 months ago
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Are we journaling for our mental health? To stretch our personal writing muscles? or for a secret third thing??? (brain exorcism)
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asiancatboy · 2 years ago
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i think i genuinely am the most consistently happy that i've ever been bc i just stopped trying to make sense of everything and started being more silly on purpose
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plantaffinity · 2 years ago
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I think sweden is going to keep winning eurovision until we're recognized internationally as good at music and then when that's settled we will probably move on and start sending in weird/bad songs to eurovision. We just wanna be good at something guys
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moonlightfilly · 2 years ago
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the author of the book i’m reading has such major beef with Ireland, but instead of showing us its flaws in a natural way, he’s just repeatedly hitting us over the head with a hammer and making every single character literally express over and again that Ireland is a backwards, hateful place that never changes
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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pomefioredove · 2 months ago
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😭😭 Please make more hcs of yuu's admiration club plss it's so cute and I ended up reading it so fast 💔💔 feel free to delete or not reply!<3
original post (riddle, leona, azul, vil)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yuu Admirer Club! 2
type of post: headcanons characters: jamil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, ortho's part is strictly platonic
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Kalim has never been one to ask for permission
Jamil's whole life at school is centered around adapting to Kalim's chaos
but this isn't chaotic
it's... quiet. too quiet
it takes him all of ten minutes to realize Kalim isn't in the dorm
of course, Jamil has his suspicions...
he's had his own little fantasies about running away with you
I mean WHAT who said that
as much as he'd like to enjoy the peace and quiet for once,
he knows he'll get in trouble if anything happens
and knowing Kalim, something will happen
so, now, he's standing in Ramshackle's foyer, arms crossed
"what are you doing?"
Kalim is sitting on the floor, weaving friendship bracelets
"oh, I'm gonna stay here. I like it. look, I made you one, too!"
"you cannot stay at another dorm, you are the housew-"
hmmmm... wait a second
Jamil's whole disposition changes, and he smiles all big
"you know what? you deserve a break. I'll just take care of things at Scarabia while you're gone,"
he turns to you "keep him away from open flame."
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Idia knows better than to worry when Ortho goes off on his own
I mean... he still does, but he knows not to
it's just a few hours... just a few hours...
but it's getting dark now, and Ortho's been radio-silent
completely blipped off the map...
Idia slips into his computer chair and starts going through the security cam feed
courtyard is empty, classrooms are dark, even the- what's that?
a familiar electric blue glow is coming from...
he switches between cams to get a good look
and it's Ortho... and you
having some kind of mock tea party with empty cups. some stuffed animals, a few other first years, even Grim is there...
Idia snorts
but... the more he thinks about it...
no. no, he cannot be jealous of his little brother playing toys with the prefect
that would be pathetic. even for him...
still, he can't help but envy Ortho's social skills
maybe, if he could actually talk to you, his yuu admiring club wouldn't have to be an account he secretly runs and folder on his computer...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
it's unusually quiet in Diasomnia tonight
usually, Malleus would enjoy the stillness of the evening, but there's something quite eerie about it now
"Lilia... have you any idea of where Silver and Sebek are?"
the vice housewarden, upside-down, shrugs
how strange... Malleus cannot recall a time where Sebek has left him alone for more than a few hours
it's... worrying
of course, he goes to you first
not out of suspicion, but because few others could give him a coherent answer while trembling with fear
when you open Ramshackle's door, there you are... and there's Silver... and Sebek...
both asleep in the foyer behind you
what a sight
you explain that some of the boys had started a "Yuu Admirer Club" and surprised you with an impromptu meeting
a sour look crosses Malleus' face
"don't be mad at them, it's my fault. I didn't have the heart to wake them," you say.
"oh, I'm not upset that they've decided to spend their time with you. I understand completely. I am, however, a little upset that I was not invited to this "Yuu Admirer Club"."
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wifelinkmtg · 1 year ago
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TUMBLR POST EDITOR WON'T LET ME TITLE THIS POST ANYMORE SO I GUESS THIS IS THE TITLE NOW. WEBBED SITE INNIT
So let's say you grew up in the nineties and that The Lion King was an important movie to you. Let's say that the character of Scar - snarling, ambitious, condescending, effeminate Scar - stirred feelings in you which you had no words for as a child. And then let's say, many years later, you're talking about it with a college friend, and you say something like, "oh man, I think Scar was some sort of gay awakening for me," and she fixes you with this level stare and says, "Scar was a fascist. What's the matter with you?"
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The immediate feeling is not unlike missing a step: hang on, what's happening, what did I miss? You knew there were goose-stepping hyenas in "Be Prepared," but you didn't think it mattered that much. He's the bad guy, after all, and the movie's just pointing it out. Your friend says it's more than that: the visuals of the song are directly referencing the Nuremberg rallies. They're practically an homage to Riefenstahl. This was your sexual awakening? Is this why you're so into peaked caps and leather, then? Subliminal nazi kink, perhaps?
And then one of your other friends cuts in. "Hold up," he says, "let's think about what Scar actually did in the movie. He organized a group of racialized outcasts and led them against a predatory monarchy. Why are you so keen to defend their hereditary rule? Scar's the good guy here." The conversation immediately descends into a verbal slap fight about who the real bad guy is, whether Scar's regime was actually responsible for the ecological devastation of the Pride Lands, whether the hyenas actually count as "racialized" because James Earl Jones voiced Mufasa after all. Your Catholic friend starts saying some strange and frankly concerning shit about Natural Law. Someone brings The Lion King 2 into it. You leave the conversation feeling a little bit lost and a little bit anxious. What were we even talking about?
INTRODUCING: THE DITCH
There is a way of reading texts which I'm afraid is pervasive, which has as its most classical expression the smug obsession with trivia and minutiae you find in a certain vein of comic book fan. "Who was the first Green Lantern? What was his weakness? Do you even know the Green Lantern Oath?" It eschews the subjective in favor of definitively knowable fact. You can't argue with this guy that, say, Alan Scott shouldn't really count as the first Green Lantern because his whole deal is so radically different from the Hal Jordan/John Stewart/Guy Gardner Corps-era Lanterns, because this guy will simply say "but he's called Green Lantern. Says so right on the cover. Checkmate." This approach to reading a text is fundamentally 1) emotionally detached (there's a reason the joke goes, oh you like X band? name three of their songs - and not, which of their songs means the most to you? which of them came into your life at exactly the right moment to tell you exactly what you needed to hear just then?) and 2) defensive. It's a stance that is designed not to lose arguments. It says so right on the cover. Checkmate.
And then you get the guys who are like "well obviously Bruce Wayne could do far more as a billionaire to solve societal problems by using his tremendous wealth to address systemic issues instead of dressing up as a bat and punching mental patients in the head," and these guys have half a point but they're basically in the same ditch butting heads with the "well, actually" guys, and can we not simply extricate ourselves from the ditch entirely?
So, okay, let's return to our initial example. Scar is portrayed using Nazi iconography - the goose-stepping, the monumentality, the Nuremberg Lichtdom. He is also flamboyant and effete. He unifies and leads a group of downtrodden exiles to overthrow an absolute monarch. He's also a self-serving despot on whose rule Heaven Itself turns its back. You can't reconcile these things from within the ditch - or if you can, the attempt is likely to be ad-hoc supposition and duct tape.
Instead, let's ask ourselves what perspective The Lion King is coming from. What does it say is true about the world? What are its precepts, its axioms?
There is a natural hierarchical order to the world. This is just and righteous and the way of things, and attempts to overthrow this order will be punished severely by the world itself.
Fascism is what happens when evil men attempt to usurp this natural order with the aid of a group or groups of people who refuse to accept their place in the order.
There exists an alternative to defending and adhering to one's place in the natural order - it consists only of selfish spineless apathy.
Manliness is an essential quality of a just ruler. Unmanliness renders a person unfit for rule, and often resentful and dangerous as well.
And isn't that interesting, laid out like that? It renders the entire argument about the movie irrelevant (except for whatever your Catholic friend was on about, since his understanding of the world seems to line up with the above precepts weirdly well.) It's meaningless to argue about whether Scar was a secret hero or a fascist, when the movie doesn't understand fascism and has a damn-near alien view of what good and evil are.
There's always gonna be someone who, having read this far, wants to reply, "so, what? The Lion King is a bad movie and the people who made it were homophobes and also American monarchists, somehow? And anyone who likes it is also some sort of gay-bashing crypto-authoritarian?" To which I have to reply, man, c'mon, get out of the ditch. You're no good to anyone in there. Take my hand. I'm going to pull on three. One... two...
SO PHYREXIA [PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE, GROANS]
We're talking about everyone's favorite ichor-drooling surgery monsters again because there was a bit in my ~*~seminal~*~ essay Transformation, Horror, Eros, Phyrexia which seemed to give a number of readers quite a bit of trouble: namely, the idea that while Phyrexia is textually fascist, their aesthetic is incompatible with real-world fascism, and further, that this aesthetic incompatibility in some way outweighs the ways in which they act like a fascist nation in terms of how we think of them. I'll take responsibility here: I don't think that point is at all clear or well-argued in that essay. What I was trying to articulate was that the text of Magic: the Gathering very much wants Phyrexia to be supremely evil and dangerous fascists, because that makes for effective antagonists, but in the process of constructing that, it's accidentally encoded a whole bunch of fascinating presuppositions that end up working at cross-purposes with its apparent aim. That's... not that much clearer, is it? Hmm. Why don't I just show you what I mean?
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Atraxa, Grand Unifier (art by Marta Nael)
In "Beneath Eyes Unblinking," one of the March of the Machine stories by K. Arsenault Rivera, there's a fascinating and I think revealing passage in which Atraxa (big-deal Phyrexianized angel and Elesh Norn's lieutenant) has a run-in with an art museum in New Capenna. The first thing I want to talk about is that, in this passage, Atraxa has no understanding of the concept of "beauty". A great deal of space in such a rushed storyline is devoted to her trying to puzzle out what beauty means and interrogating the minds of her recently-compleated Capennan aesthetes to try and understand it. In the end, she is unable to conceive of beauty except as "wrongness," as anathema.
So my first question is, why doesn't Atraxa have any idea of beauty? This is nonsense, right? We could point to a previous story, "A Garden of Flesh," by Lora Gray, in which Elesh Norn explicitly thinks in terms of beauty, but that's a little bit ditchbound, isn't it? The better argument is to simply look at Phyrexian bodies, at the Phyrexian landscape, all of which looks the way it does on purpose, all of which has been shaped in accordance with the very real aesthetic preferences of Phyrexians. How you could look at the Fair Basilica and not understand that Phyrexians most definitely have an idea of beauty, even if you personally disagree with it, is baffling. This is a lot like the canonical assertion that Phyrexians lack souls, which is both contradicted elsewhere in canon and essentially meaningless, given Magic's unwillingness or inability to articulate what a soul is in its setting, and as with this, it seems the goal is simply to dehumanize Phyrexians, to render them alien, even at the cost of incoherence or internal contradiction.
Atraxa's progress through the museum is fascinating. It evokes the 1937 Nazi exhibit on "degenerate art" in Munich, but not at all cleanly. The first exhibit, which is of representational art, she angrily destroys for being too individualistic (a point of dissonance with the European fascist movements of the 20th century, which formed in direct antagonism to communism.) The second exhibit, filled with abstract paintings and sculptures, she destroys even more angrily for having no conceivable use (this is much more in line with the Nazi idea of "degenerate art", so well done there.) The third exhibit is filled with war trophies and reconstructions from a failed Phyrexian invasion of Capenna many years prior, which she is angriest of all with (and fair enough, I suppose.) But then, after she's done completely trashing the place, she spots a number of angel statues on the cathedral across the plaza, and she goes apeshit. In a fugue of white-hot rage, she pulverizes the angel heads, and here is where I have to ask my second question:
Why angels? If you are trying to invoke fascist attitudes toward art, big statues of angels are precisely the wrong thing for your fascist analogues to hate. Fascists love monumental, heroic representations of superhuman perfection. It's practically their whole aesthetic deal. I understand that we're foreshadowing the imminent defeat of Phyrexia at the hands of legions of angels and a multiversal proliferation of angel juice, but that just leads to the exact same question: why angels? To the best of my knowledge, the Phyrexian weakness to New Capennan angel juice is something invented for this storyline. They have, after all, been happily compleating angels since 1997. We could talk about the in-universe justification for why Halo specifically is so potent, but I don't remember what that justification is, and also don't care. Let's not jump back in the ditch, please. The point is, someone decided that this time, Phyrexia would be defeated by an angelic host, and what does that mean? What is the text trying to say? What are its precepts and axioms?
Let me ask you a question: how many physically disabled angels are there in Magic: the Gathering? How about transsexual angels? How many angels are there, on all of the cards that have ever been printed for Magic: the Gathering, that are even just a bit ugly? Do you get it yet? Or do you need me to spell it out for you?
SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU
There is a kind of body which is bad. It is bad because it has been significantly altered from its natural state, and it is bad because it is repellent to our aesthetic sensibilities.
The bad kind of body is contagious. It spreads through contact. Sometimes people we love are infected, and then they become the bad kind of body too.
There is a kind of body which is good. It is good because it is pleasing to our aesthetic sensibilities, and it is good because it is unaltered from its (super)natural state.
A happy ending is when all the good bodies destroy or drive into hiding all of the bad bodies. A happy ending is when the bad bodies of the people we love are forcibly returned to being the good kind of body.
Do you get it now?
ENDNOTES
It's worth noting that the ditch is very similar to the white American Evangelical hermeneutics of "the Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it," the defensive chapter-and-verse-or-it-didn't-happen approach to reading a text, what Fred Clark of slacktivist calls "concordance-ism". I don't think that's accidental. We stand underneath centuries of people reading the Bible very poorly - how could that not affect how we read things today? We are participants in history whether we like it or not.
I sincerely hope I haven't come across as condescending in this essay. Close reading is legitimately difficult! They teach college courses on this stuff! And while it is frustrating to have my close readings interrogated by people who... aren't doing that, like. I do get it. I find myself back in the ditch all the time. This stuff is hard. It is also, sorry, crucial if you intend to say something about a text that's worth saying.
I also hope I've communicated clearly here. Magic story is sufficiently incoherent that trying to develop a thesis about it often feels like trying to nail jello to the wall. If anyone has questions, please ask them! And thank you for reading. Next time, we'll probably do the new Eldraine set.
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ratstuckinamarble · 1 year ago
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The shitty lungs curse is spreading to my mutuals... run everyone (if your lungs will let you)
they never tell you abt The Skeleton's Curse (bone pain)
#I used to get those random stabbing pains really often I know exactly what you're talking about#they just leave you standing there like 0_0 no breathing allowed! not for that time#I wish I could say if those should be a concern. my aunt got them all the time as a teen and she's fine so ┐•-•┌#still if you didn't get them very often in times were you were actually growing but it's rather frequent now... I'd try to look into it#just to be safe#maybe keep track of your symptoms; write every instance of that happening down so you can get an idea for how frequent it actually is#and yeah as much as I loathe going to the doctors; I still end up doing so several times a year#my body is getting up to too much strange crap not to and I gotta make use of that universal healthcare amirite#that one doctor /was/ upsetting to go to but you bet I never returned. just accepted the ridiculous wait times for a better one#happy to report the constant stabbing while trying to breathe in is mostly gone for now! after almost a week#now I'm only left with the usual inability to breathe in properly but at least it doesn't hurt. that's much easier to deal with#we all need to be taking better care of ourselves...#see for me the issue is that the moment a symptom is gone for a bit my brain is convinced I'm fine forever actually (it is mistaken)#and then I completely overestimate how much exertion I can handle (being stubborn doesn't help)#symptom flare up→ I'm forced to rest→ feel a bit better→ I think I can do the same things I could before all this started→ symptom flare up#rinse and repeat#maybe some day I'll learn#but I can't /not/ go hiking anymore... that activity means a lot to me. I'll have to figure something out#also dauntless this is for you specifically:#why are you doing the same stupid shit as me!!!#“don't overexert” isn't spelled lugging logs around in deep winter either!!!#be careful :(#but the hills really are fiends#it's a unique kind of frustrating when your muscles say “we can keep going!” only for the lungs to go “absolutely not”#and the mountains are my favourite place to go hiking in too...#all righty ramble over.
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lilahisntsadanymore · 1 year ago
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Growing up with a deatheater father doesn't teach you much about emotions, so when Theo finds himself developing an infatuation with a muggle-born, he thinks she gave him a love potion.
Pairing: Theo Nott x granger!fem!reader
Words count: 1.9k
Warnings: jealous Harry
There is a 2nd part!! <3
≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪
Unveiled Desires
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It was strange to him. So strange how he went from mocking, annoying and occasionally bullying her every step she takes to secretly wanting her. Wanting to have her, or even needing her.
He didn't know how or when it happened, but one day he realized she was constantly in his head. It creeped up on him in small steps and eventually he had developed an infatuation for the girl.
Of course nobody knew about it, Theo wouldn't dare telling anyone. He just kept with his antics, hoping the obsession will somewhat disappear one day. Unfortunately, the more he tried to get rid of this feeling, the more he gave it power, the more it grew.
But he couldn't be with her. He couldn't be with a mudblood.
But he wanted to be with her. The more he thought about it, the less he cared about the blood status. He cursed at himself for these thoughts. Raised by a deatheater father, he would get disowned for dating anyone who wasn't a pureblood.
"Granger, can I talk to you for a second?" A question left his mouth as he approached the Golden Trio. Who was better to talk to about Y/n than her older sister?
The three Gryffindors looked at Theo as if he wasn't good in the head. Just casually wanting to have a chat, a normal chat, with someone outside of his social circle. Pretty unusual for a Slytherin.
"What is it?" Harry asked protectively.
"I was talking to Granger. I need to talk privately."
Hermione looked at Harry and Ron, exchanging suspecting glances. Eventually she spoke, "Alright, but make it quick."
"Great, let's go." Theo started walking, but Hermione stood in her place.
"Where are you going?"
"Somewhere they," he gestured to Harry and Ron, "aren't gonna eavesdrop."
Hermione crossed her arms on her chest, a knowing expression on her face.
Theo raised his hands, "It's not a trap again, I swear."
The girl sighed and walked after her rival.
Hermione and Theodore weren't fond of each other not only because of their houses and their blood statuses, but also because they were academic rivals. Both of them were extremely competitive. Since first year they aspired to be better than one another in pretty much everything.
"Can we stop already?" The girl asked. "I'm pretty sure they won't ear us from here."
"Alright, alright." Theo agreed. "But I need you to promise me you won't tell anybody about it."
"Why me? Why would you trust a Gryffindor with keeping a secret for you?"
Theo lowered his voice to a whisper, "Because it's about your sister."
"What?!" Hermione's voice was the opposite of a whisper. "What have you done to her?!"
The boy gestured telling her to lower her voice. "No, I didn't do anything. She has done...something."
"What on Earth could that possibly be?" A little more quiet, but still unpleasantly surprised, she decided to listen to him.
One last time, Theo looked around to make sure there's nobody there who could be a witness to what he was about to say.
"She used some spell on me." He accused. "Or put something in my food, my drink."
Hermione scoffed with laughter. "You must be joking. You bully her for whole five years, but one time she pays you back for it, it's an issue?"
"Not like that." He took a second to gather his thoughts. "Granger, do you remember how we learnt about amortentia few weeks ago? I think Y/n gave it to me."
Hermione started at the boy for a moment and then burst out with laughter. Y/n wasn't the issue, there was no way a fifth year would be able to make amortentia. Not even Y/n Granger.
Theodore felt annoyed and offended by Hermione's reaction. He looked at her with disgust. "What is so funny to you about it, mu-, Granger?"
Noticing how he almost called her a slur, her expression immediately became serious. "Seriously? You know what, deal with it by yourself. I don't even know why you're telling me all of this."
"Why? Because you have to talk to her, tell her to do something about it! Tell her to stop it!"
Hermione got a brilliant idea.
"You know, I've heard professor Slughorn had a remedy for amortentia."
"Yeah, and I'll end up in the hospital wing like Weasley."
"It was poisoned mead, not the amortentia cure itself. You can ask him to make one from the ingredients in the classroom."
"I will," Theo scoffed, "look at you being useful for the first time in your life."
Without another word, Hermione walked away. "Boys..." She muttered to herself.
"Don't tell anyone I told you this!"
≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪
"What?! He likes me?!" Y/n asked with blush on her face. "Theodore Nott likes me? The boy that has been bullying me for the past five years?"
"And the thinks it's because you gave him amortentia." Hermione giggled.
Y/n wouldn't ever think that he could be into her and the whole story that her sister had told her was simply unbelievable. But Hermione had no business in lying to her very own little sister, especially not about that.
"Does anyone else know about this?"
"Not yet, but I talked him into asking Slughorn for the cure! I suppose he'll do this tomorrow after class, as soon as possible."
"Who are you and what have you done to my sister?"
The girls were sitting alone in the common room and as Y/n laughed, Ron and Harry walked in.
"What are you two laughing about?" Harry asked, ready to hear that story.
"Can I tell them?" Hermione looked at Y/n. The younger Granger nodded. "Nott likes Y/n."
The girls and Ron laughed, meanwhile Harry stood there with his lips in a thin line, far away from laughing.
"The best part is," Hermione continued, "he thinks Y/n gave him amortentia!"
"What?" Harry spoke eventually, his voice a bit more surprised than it should be. "Y/n, did you give amortentia to Nott?"
"No, why would you accuse me of this?!" The youngest girl defended herself. "Is it that unbelievable that he can fancy me?"
"I mean... You're a muggleborn... And-"
"And what?! Does that mean I'm not worthy of that? We don't know him, maybe he doesn't believe in this whole blood purity thing."
"He does. That's why he hasn't asked you out. And he never will. Because they're all the same."
Y/n's eyes became a little glossy, the tears ready to start flowing anytime. "Are they, though? And you're saying this. You, whose godfather was Sirius Black."
"Sirius was different!"
"We don't know because we don't know what Theo is like!"
"Theo? It was Nott for the past few years that he was tormenting you," Harry put an emphasis on the word bullying, "now he fancies you and he becomes Theo?"
"I would actually give him a chance. It's not his fault that he was born into a blood purity obsessed family."
"Don't you think that's a little pathetic? Running into his hands the moment you find out he might fancy you meanwhile you had chances to date...other Gryffindors."
"Pathetic? You call me pathetic?"
"I didn't call you pathetic, I said what you do is-"
A sound of a slap filled the room, but the following silence spoke even louder. Y/n looked Harry in the eyes, a light red mark on his cheek that her hand left.
Harry could see and sense that it was too much, he said unnecessary words. He regretted them, but he just couldn't stop them from coming out.
The Golden Trio watched Y/n run upstairs. She was so glad nobody else was in the bedroom yet.
≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪
"Excuse me, professor," Theo walked up to Slughorn after the class on the following day.
All the other students were slowly exiting the room, Harry's eyes fixed on the Slytherin standing by the teacher's desk.
"Yes, Theodore?" Slughorn asked. "Do you have some more bright insights you'd like to share with me?" He was clearly happy to have this conversation.
"I actually need help, professor."
The man's expression dropped. "Yes? Do you have a problem?"
"I'm worried that I've been given amortentia."
Slughorn's eyes widened. He was surprised or even shocked. "Are you sure? I remember seeing other people under the influence of several love potions and you don't quite match the criteria."
"There's this girl who I can't stop thinking about... I suspect she has given it to me."
"Who that might be?"
Theo waited until all the other students exit the classroom before he said the name.
"Y/n Granger."
Y/n stopped in her tracks just as he was about to enter the potions classroom. She was about to show the teacher a part of her project, wanting to consult the texts she has written. Instead, she stopped and decided to listen to the conversation.
"Ah, she's one of the best students in her year," Slughorn said proudly, "but I assure you - she wouldn't do that to you."
"How can you be sure, professor?"
"Well, could you describe your symptoms, Theodore?"
"Whatever I do, Y/n is on my mind," the boy admitted, "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I zone out thinking about her. It's not normal, I've never experienced it before."
The teacher gave his student a sympathetic smile. "My dear boy, you might be experiencing the actual feeling of being in love."
"What? And how could it have been caused? Was it a love potion, after all? Maybe a spell?"
"It's a part of muggle science, biology. The chemicals in your brain cause it and it's not something you can control. It happens when it happens. A truly beautiful feeling."
Theo's mouth twisted into a dissatisfied grimace. "Is there anything I can do about it?"
"You can talk to the girl about it, for example," Slughorn looked at the door and shouted, "come in, Y/n!"
Y/n cursed to herself in her thoughts. How could he know she was there?
The girl walked in shyly, holding a paper in her hands. "I wanted to show you my paper, professor," the girl spoke, "if there's anything you think I should change or... anything."
As the girl handed the paper to the teacher, she looked at Theo. They stood dangerously close to each other. The silence between the was so loud, Y/n was praying for the teacher to say something. Anything.
"Amazing, Mrs Granger," he spoke eventually, "although the Draught of Living Dead is an extremely difficult potion to make. I'm glad you're so ambitious, but I'd suggest you get help from someone more experienced."
"I'm pretty sure I can do it on my own." Y/n assured.
"Maybe Mr. Nott here could help you. The sixth year has been just learning about this potion, actually. Theodore, would you be so kind and help Mrs Granger?"
Suddenly, Theo's gaze somewhat softened. There was no more disgust in his eyes. When he stood so close to Y/n, he wondered why did he act the way he did. Why did he do all the mean things to her. Maybe he had always liked her, but didn't want to admit it, even to himself alone.
"Yes, sure," he said, "I can help."
Y/n felt happy. For some reason, she didn't dislike Theo for all the things he did. She secretly always liked him, he was attractive, and she would even sometimes daydream about the day he would finally talk to her like a normal person. Maybe the day has finally come.
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ybklix · 6 months ago
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𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧
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★ lee minho
✦summary: You embark on an unusual night for you, as a companion to a wealthy stranger man with a cold countenance, a warm heart and a very hot form of affection.
✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / oral sex / spanking / hair pulling / chocking / ceo lee know x fem reader / non idol felix x fem reader / mention of sex workers, scort / sugar daddy
word count: 12.3k
Part 2 ᯓ★
(masterlist)
Money did buy happiness, you thought; if it did you would be in your mansion worth millions, you would use your money to buy contacts to get your dream job without having to sweat a drop and you wouldn't be standing there right now listening to the landlady, while she yells at you and reminds you how far behind you are in your payments.
It was humiliating and you had no other excuse to tell her, it was obvious she didn't give a shit how much you studied and worked at the same time and it still wasn't enough. She finally left, insulting you a couple of times and flattering herself for being a good person by letting you stay and giving you a space in a very rushed and busy city like this one, where millions of people are looking for a place to live every day.
You wanted to feel unashamed, carefree but you couldn't do it and everything was a thousand times more embarrassing when you were helping your best friend pack as she was moving to a new and better apartment. You knew Hari since you moved into the building three years ago, she was your neighbor and you were the same age so you two quickly liked each other... but the day had come, she was able to move on and was going to a nice place.
Hari watched the whole scene with a bit of sadness, knowing deep down what it felt like to go through exactly the same thing and hear the same old lady screaming. And, as she took one of her boxes to pass it to the mover she thought if after all this time it would be good to finally confess a secret to you… she was terrified of feeling judged but, she appreciated you too much that she really wanted to tell you.
You sighed without further ado, smiling and turning back to your friend.
“Hey, if you need…” Hari wanted to say but you interrupted her immediately.
“I'm fine, really.”
You stared at her and gave her a fake smile. It wasn't new that you hated asking for help and that people feel sorry for you, first it was your male best friend who stupidly is a millionaire and now your best friend who you were supposed to share economic pains. You felt that everyone was moving forward but you, but you didn't want to be seen as a poor girl in distress, it was what you hated the most even though you appreciate their gestures and words in your heart, despite that it's hard for you to take it, as well as thank them and…. express yourself.
“If you need anything you know you can count on m...?”
“On you and Felix, I know.”
You rolled your eyes trying to appear annoyed but you weren't, it was obvious, they always reminded you. And you were extremely grateful just at the thought that they cared about you. You were aware that one of the very good solutions was simply to start dating your rich best friend who you know likes you… but you weren't like that, unfortunately, you were too proud to accept easy money.
“You should give him a chance” Hari added.
“I think I'm fucked up enough to fall in love and add another worry.”
Felix was sweet, caring, attractive and incredibly wealthy, you met him in college as he was studying cinematography. And you were studying performing arts, actress, your biggest dream. Strangely enough, you and Felix connected instantly in a course where you coincided, and you got along very well forming a nice friendship; he had a big and pure heart and was not at all the typical brainless rich kid, however you were the opposite of him, reserved and a bit pessimistic about life and clearly… in some big and tight economic problems. You couldn't count the countless times Felix offered to help you financially, but you simply felt you were abusing the power of your cute and cuddly best friend.
He would offer you money, he would offer you one of his properties, all paid vacations, you knew it was every girl's dream and that if you told anyone other than Hari about all this, they would be sure to slap you and call you ‘stupid’ to your face. You recognized that he was all a dream come true and that was what you feared the most, that you might be a nightmare for him, your personalities were different and most of all, you felt so bad that you didn't have something to offer him; you felt it looked so wrong to be just him trying so hard even though you were trying twice as hard too and sometimes it seemed in vain.
Moreover, you were quite realistic and recognized well that guys like Felix, wealthy and from a long line of millionaire ancestors, a simple girl like you wasn't enough, and you could never end up with someone like him.
Hari laughed at your comment.
“Love isn't so bad... have you ever been in love?”
You looked at her perplexed, almost wanting to laugh in her face; Hari in love was a concept you didn't know.
“Have you?” you asked, emphasizing your shock.
Your friend just looked at you amused and continued her duty of clearing out her old home. She was nervous, she had a solution for you but wasn't sure if it was an option for you.
After a few hours of exhaustive work like moving your whole life to another place, both of you contemplated the completely empty apartment where you used to spend nights together having sleepovers. Hari sighed, ready to confess something no one else knew.
“Y/n” she spoke to you.
You made a sound indicating you were listening, but you weren't really, you couldn't stop looking at that wall, thinking about what you had to do as soon as possible to get extra money. Hari called your name again until this time she caught your attention, so you turned to look at her; she felt nervousness and wanted to swallow for a second, you furrowed your brow at her sudden strange reaction.
“If I tell you something, promise you won't judge.”
“Of course” you quickly answered without thinking, her behavior seemed odd, but suddenly you were so curious to know.
She looked at you with big eyes of ‘I'm serious’, while you returned the look more than obvious.
“What is it about?”
Hari took a breath, hesitant, and suddenly she had all your attention.
“Have you ever wondered how suddenly I get all this, finally moving, nicer clothes...?” she replied with another question.
You furrowed your brow and tilted your head a bit confused, not meaning to offend, but your friend's life wasn't something you were so concerned about since you saw her completely normal, it wasn't something to be alarmed about, every time you met she was still the same... you wondered if there was suddenly something you didn't notice and that you should feel like a bad friend about.
“Did you get a big promotion at your job...?” you speculated without an answer.
She smiled mockingly.
“There's someone” she finally spat out, unable to express it entirely.
You got excited, those words meant she was dating someone of whom you didn't know details and suddenly it excited you. You raised your eyebrows in surprise and turned your whole body towards her, looking at her straight ahead, enthusiastic.
“Oh my God, Hari, why didn't you...”
“Or something like that” she cut you off abruptly.
Again, you looked at her confused, this time waiting for her to start talking. Hari looked at the floor and finally said:
“I have someone who gives me money.”
Silence embraced you, you didn't know what to say so you just laughed incredulously letting out a little air, Hari quickly looked at you with her expressive eyes of ‘you promised not to judge’, so you hurried to say:
“A sugar daddy or something like that? Well… good for you, I guess.”
“I think you need one” she cut off your sarcastic comment so now you laughed out loud. “Being a companion.”
“No thanks, I have enough dealing with Felix and his specific complex” you scoffed.
“I think you're not getting it… I don't know how to explain it but, I can live my life for 5 years without working a single day.”
You were in denial and totally ready to continue to contradict and mock your friend until that comment caught you by surprise.
“Wow, well that's…” you closed your eyes deeply trying to process the kind of conversation you were having. “I think you're exaggerating a bit here…”
“No” she interrupted you again, “this is different, I think you reject Felix because you know him and… these are just unknown men willing to pay a lot of money.”
“Do you really think you can give that kind of power to a man, of just giving you money without him expecting anything in return?” you added without thinking.
Silence returned… and it was when everything made sense and you understood that Hari did give something in return. You didn't want to say it out loud, but suddenly your best friend was a prostitute; you were really surprised. You couldn't help but open your eyes in surprise. Hari felt the need to explain herself before feeling judged.
“They are really wealthy men, it's something really exclusive and selective, you can choose and…”
You dissociated and stopped listening for a second, did they have methods? What did she mean? Why would she believe in the first place that you would be part of something like that?
“And are you with someone or do you have multiple relationships…?” you interrupted her.
You had no idea why you cared about that, you weren't a saint to judge, but maybe it was just curiosity. Hari rolled her eyes annoyed.
“At first a few until I finally found someone, I’m telling you it's surprising what can happen; so far it's him, he gave me the apartment, he'll decorate it and-”
You closed your eyes again incredulously.
“He bought you the apartment? I thought you rented it.”
“I had to lie.”
“And what happens when your fantasy and money run out?” you said mercilessly.
Hari smiled, you were too honest and straightforward sometimes.
“Well, I don't think that will happen for a long time and… Chan and I reached an agreement that I could work in his company as much as I want, even if our relationship ends and he stops supporting me.”
“Oh, so he has a name and now you're dating.”
“It's complicated, I like him but it's obvious that guys like him don't end up with the poor girl like a a TV show.”
And with a hooker, you thought. At least you were grateful that after all the senseless chatter something with common reasoning came out of your friend's mouth. You really had nothing against what she was doing, it just took you by surprise.
Hari sighed.
“I know you don't believe me, but do you remember that time months ago when we went out to eat and jokingly I showed you the meager ₩50,000 in my bank account?”
You nodded, still perplexed and cautious about what she might show you now. Hari took her phone and in a few swift movements with her fingers, handed it to you, displaying on the screen an incredible amount that made you sigh just seeing it. You couldn't believe it. How was it possible for someone to have so much money? Why would they give it to Hari?
“I think it's dangerous, maybe it's just sex with strangers but in exchange for that ridiculous amount… I don't know, you shouldn't trust strangers like that.”
Hari opened her mouth, offended, as she took her phone back.
“It's not always sex, it's about companionship.”
You pursed your lips, unable to believe it; maybe for old men with erectile dysfunction, you thought, but somehow or another, they are men looking for something.
“I'm just giving you an option to give it a chance. It's a really exclusive app, you even send your data to be accepted; it also comes with details of the people offering money for you, how they are, how much, and you can reject them all, you're in control. Come on, y/n, desperate times call for desperate measures…”
“I wouldn't categorize it that way, no thanks, Hari, I'm not that desperate, and by the way, how did you find out?”
“I went to a party months ago and overheard a couple of unknown girls talking about it, it changed my life” she quickly checked her phone again. “I have to go, he came for me, but think about it, okay? Just out of curiosity, like I did until I saw a really impressive amount. Also, they specify if they want companionship or something more…”
You rolled your eyes annoyed, it was crazy, you thought that Hari could live anonymously but your dream was to be an actress, what were you supposed to do if they ever found out that you practically sold yourself. Both of you left the apartment and stood there in the hallway for a few seconds.
“Do you want to meet Chan?”
Your attention returned to your friend as soon as she said those words and confusedly you thought in your mind “who?” until you realized who she was talking about. You were curious, you expected an older man but you were surprised to see that shiny black luxury truck and inside of it, an attractive young adult driving, he looked no more than thirty, or maybe less than forty. You had descended all those floors to meet the person your friend was talking about with enthusiasm and you were too surprised.
Chan got out of the car as soon as he saw Hari and opened the passenger door for her.
“She's my friend, y/n” your friend introduced you.
“Pleasure to meet you” you shook hands.
You were in absolute surprise and denial, suddenly everything started to feel like just a fever dream. You felt the heavy gaze of your friend's ‘partner’ and for a second you wondered if he was really the guy who slept with girls for money or the chauffeur of the lucky handsome rich man.
You gave him a small smile and Chan quickly looked at Hari with complicit eyes, silently asking if you knew who he was in her life to which Hari almost reading his mind nodded softly.
“I'll see you another day, goodbye” your friend said goodbye with a strong hug which you were too astonished to reciprocate.
And they both left, leaving you standing on the cold pavement of the parking lot with your thoughts floating.
You returned to your apartment with a million questions, questioning almost your existence. Imagining the possibility of getting into that silly app, you thought for a second that Hari must have had the greatest luck in the world to get the only handsome man in the whole system, whom you wouldn't be disgusted to sleep with even for a second. You thought if you really should pay attention to Felix, fall in love with him, live with him… but you shook your head vigorously to dismiss that idea, it was almost impossible not to fall in love with him but you didn't feel bitchy and cynical enough to take advantage of his love and money at the same time. You knew it was cruel and that he should be looking for someone because you understood each of his signals, and it was obvious that he was crazy about you but among the boring and miserable life you led, his attention was the only thing that kept you motivated.
You couldn't sleep and little by little you convinced yourself more, sex with a stranger? It shouldn't be so bad, having the same amount of money as Hari? it was such a bright dream for you. You could pay off your debts, look for a better place, and free yourself from the visit of the little witch every week. Now you were curious… if it was really reliable and if all your information was highly confidential.
You didn't even check the time and sent Hari a message: «How high security are we talking about in that app?» She replied «I'll tell you everything tomorrow» you noticed your friend's excitement when you realized how quickly she responded.
Until the next day arrived and after work you visited her new and remodeled apartment. It was unreal, you were breathless, the beautiful view and large windows, the harmony of its decoration, it was so bright to be true that if you managed to have money in this situation that you were about to get into, you wanted to keep it realistic, you were afraid that from one day to the next, you would have nothing, so changing your life drastically without having a fixed support was not an option for you, it wouldn't be something long term, just something to get you out of your soon predicament.
They sat on the couch in her spacious living room which was almost the size of your entire apartment.
“Do you want me to manage your account just to verify the data and all that?”
You nodded, you weren't sure what you were about to do, but there you were.
“Okay, all your data is done, they'll send you an e-nail confirmation and let you know if you've been selected to enjoy the app's services. So…”
You swallowed, watching as they wrote all your data to a strange email, your name, date of birth, occupation, your measurements, your physical appearance, number of sexual partners, if you've had any STDs and attach evidence that you're 100% clean, history of alcoholism and smoking…
“I think it's illegal for them to ask for so much data.”
“Don't worry, it'll be worth it.”
“Are you sure I won't end up in… some dark business?” you whispered the last sentence, terrified and nervous.
“Noo, you'll get all the data from the men who want to hire you, even their address while yours is never exposed.”
“I don't know, Hari, men naturally lie.”
Hari chuckled softly, sensing your nervousness.
“I'll put up a picture of you and send it, and…”
“Wait, what?”
“I sent it” she looked at you proudly. “It can take 24 to 48 hours to respond.”
Hours passed, and you were heating up your dinner when a call from Hari interrupted your time.
“You got approved, it was really fast. I'll come to see you.”
She hung up, and you took your food out of the microwave totally bewildered. An hour later, amid the serene night with little rain, your friend appeared at your door with a big smile.
“Why are you so excited? I'm literally about to sell my vagina to wetpussy.com.”
Hari laughed.
“But that will make you a millionaire overnight.”
“Mm” you expressed in disgust and let her in.
“I can't believe it was so fast, they really want you. You have the option to put your real name or a fake one, your real name you can only give if you want.”
“Please, a fake one.”
You were really regretting it.
“What name should I put you?”
“I don't know, just not mine.”
“Cheryl, like darling in French” she wrote with a smile “…except I need pictures…”
“Come on, I sent you the best ones.”
“I know, and you look spectacular, but there's an option where the money goes directly to your bank account once they unlock the function to see your photos…”
You felt like she didn't finish the sentence and you were a little annoyed by the situation, it irritated you to know that you had to do this, well, you didn't have to, and no one was forcing you, but you decided to do it.
“And?”
“They're spicy photos.”
“Absolutely not, is it necessary to do that?”
“Your face can't be seen, and the money goes directly to you. Every time someone opens the option, you get paid ₩10 million, well, it depends on how much the app values you.”
You were in denial until you almost regurgitated your dinner.
“That's an absurd amount.”
“I told you I wasn't joking, I didn't know what they were based on but according to Chan, they're based on dollars or something like that, so for them, it's quite little.”
“Fuck, does Chan have more sugar babies? Because if he continues, he'll go bankrupt.”
“I told you they're not ordinary people and they have to specify what they want, if you ever feel like they disrespect you and don’t follow what was previously established, you have every right to fine them and report them.”
“And make it a public legal issue? No thanks.”
“Then…”
“Well, I guess I have nothing to lose by taking a few lingerie photos, without showing my face!”
[…]
There you were, in the mall at a lingerie store on your day off, trying to find the best pieces that scream “classy slut”, you were so terrified, it means they must be men with a lot of money and extreme loneliness and desperation, so the least you could do was pretend to feel sorry for them and look pretty in a nice set.
You were spending your money on something you hoped would soon multiply by millions, until the sound of your phone startled you because you were so focused that you felt like you were doing something illegal. It was Felix.
“Hey.”
“Hey, where are you? It's your day off, right?” he said.
“Yes… I'm at the mall.”
You couldn't lie to him, the music and sound of people were so audible.
“At the usual one? No way, I'm here too, I'm buying a birthday present for Olivia, I wanted to ask you to help me.”
“Well if you want to wait…”
“Where exactly are you? I'll come find you.”
You didn't want to see him, you felt so guilty accepting dirty money from strangers and not the one he always offered you in the purest way without asking for anything in return, you felt terrible.
“I'm at…” you looked around trying to find another store to run away when he's near, but you couldn't. “Buying lingerie on the second floor.”
You told him the truth, you didn't think he would come. And you've always been someone without filters, except when it comes to Felix, only with him do you have a soft spot. There was a little silence.
“Do you have a date?”
His voice suddenly became serious and his tone of enthusiasm vanished.
“Well, it's complicated” you grimaced but he couldn't see you.
“I'm coming over there.”
Felix hung up on you suddenly and you just let out a sigh; you couldn't guess where he was to calculate his time and leave the store and meet him outside, but you really needed that outfit, your last nudes were taken when you were in high school when you did your first sexting with a guy in your class, who was a nice guy, Kim Seungmin from your science class, you fucked him in the basketball gym closet and he never ever told anyone, nor showed your nudes; but the situation was already twisted enough without putting up your old photos from when you were a minor, plus the light and angles weren't fancy enough to be worth 10 million won.
You rushed to find something fast and before you knew it, Felix had already arrived.
“I like that one” he said in his deep voice close to your ear taking you by surprise.
You turned to see him, today he looked cuter than usual, he had his hands clasped behind his back and a small smile on his sweet face.
“Felix…” you whispered.
“So, what's the occasion? Who are you going to wear that for?” he mumbled.
He wanted to hide his irritation in a soft tone, but he couldn't, he was annoyed.
“Oh, it's nothing, I just have to update my closet.”
“Then buy whatever you want and I'll pay for it” you were about to speak and he gently raised his index finger in objection. “Is it bothering you that I'm here? I can leave you my credit card and wait for you outside.”
Felix looked around innocently, he was surrounded by women's underwear and women. You smiled warmly at him.
“No, actually you can help me.”
You liked to play with Felix a little, you adored watching the way his face would lift and light up all over, his ears would perk up a little and his round eyes would get bigger, as happy as a loyal puppy. Objectively yes he could help you, he was also an incredibly wealthy man, you thought maybe all millionaires shared the same neuron or tastes to get them turned on.
“I'm between this one and this one” you showed him the pairs you had selected.
“Take both of them. Or as many as you want.”
You wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you were suffocating to the idea of what you were going to do; you loved shopping but today….
“Come on, take some more, your closet won't be filled with just two” Felix added.
You smiled at him and chose a few more so he would stop talking and you could leave at once. Felix paid without any problem while the cashier looked at you with contempt and envy when she saw the pretty boy who accompanied you, slim, elegant, blond with long hair and an innocent face bathed in freckles.
“Thank you, Lix” you gave him a quick kiss on his soft, rosy cheek.
If Felix had a dog's tail, you were sure he'd be wagging it vividly and endlessly with happiness.
“Have you eaten yet? Let's go get something to eat…” he mentioned excitedly, turning to look at you.
“Mm, later, now I'll help you choose the gift for your sister.”
“Oh, yes, sure, what do you think, Cartier or Tiffany? Although Van Cleef is very fashionable among young girls. And maybe a Dior bag, I think it's her favorite brand; my father will give her her first Birkin so my bag will be like a toy, I don't know what to give her.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, Felix was talking and you were listening.
[…]
“Do you wanna go to my place? There's a movie I want to see. Only you would listen to me while I pause the movie every 5 minutes to make a comment.”
Felix spoke while he was driving, he looked at you out of the corner of his eye and noticed you distracted; you couldn't help it, you thought to yourself that you have to take good pictures and that maybe soon your pussy will be tasting a stranger's cock, for money, which made your hair stand on end. You came out of your trance when you realized Felix spoke.
“Yes, it's okay.”
You needed a distraction. And you missed movie nights —and commentary— with Felix, your best filmmaker friend.
“What are you doing on Saturday? You should go to Olivia's party, she's having a themed party after dinner with us; I don't know what her theme is yet, but I'll let you know. Olivia remembers you and likes you very much.”
Felix suggested trying to get your attention. You didn't even have to think about it, Felix's younger sister was a sweetheart like him, it was his older sister who was a tough crowd, you knew she didn't like you and that she thought you only hung out with her brother for his money, she almost fainted when she found out you were on scholarship and lived in a middle class neighborhood. It was enough for you to know that Felix drove you everywhere, that was too much for you.
“I'll think about it… I have a deadline this Sunday for a report.”
He pressed his lips together, knowing you were lying, but he didn't blame you, he thought maybe it would be too much pressure to meet his family.
“So… Are you going to tell me who you're going to wear that lingerie for? Is it someone from the university that I know?” Felix tried to be subtle, but he was dying to know who was going to touch you other than him.
You and Felix had almost done it for multiple times but you always stopped yourself, you couldn't do it because you were afraid he would do it so well and so sweetly that you would end up falling in love with him. He loved the way you made him completely horny, almost cumming in his pants.
And then you had a great idea, if you were going to get into that business you had to be cool and think it would only be a simple fuck, you wouldn't concentrate on anything but feeling a hard cock in your pussy… so you had to fuck Felix right now, there was no other way to prove you were an insensitive bitch than to fuck the only man you have ever felt love and respect for.
You tried to get flirtatious and quickly changed your mood.
“Maybe you're right, he's someone you know very well.”
You spoke slowly and seductively, staring at him, you must have recognized that you really have a very attractive best friend, he quickly noticed your heavy look and the change of mood, so he swallowed nervously and looked at you surprised with opening his pretty eyes in pity and that didn't help you at all, he looked fucking cute when he was like that.
“Oh yeah?” he added playfully looking sideways and running his tongue along the inside of his cheeks.
You moved closer to him and brushed his cheek with the tip of your nose seductively, while your left hand traveled dangerously from his thigh to his crotch where you massaged his growing bulge.
“Let's go to your place and you tell me what you think of each of the sets you bought me, for him.”
You noticed the irregularity of Felix's breathing, you didn't want to act clumsy and end up fucking him in the car, even though it was incredibly spacious enough… but you knew that when Felix was aroused and totally yielding to your charms and touches, he wasn't thinking clearly.
“Let's listen to music while we wait” you added amused.
You moved away from him and played music through the screen of his modern car, almost letting out a giggle, you didn't know if Felix hated you for that or was just turned on and, for him it was the second option, all the way he was uncomfortable with his pants drowning his cock, but he didn't know how to ask you nicely that if possible you could give him a handjob right there, to which he concluded that there was no decent way to say it so he waited until finally arriving at his pent-house.
As you entered the elevator you both kissed desperately, you almost smiled between the kisses knowing how much fun it would be to finally taste your best friend. Felix was holding all the shopping bags tightly, or at least he was trying to, he wanted to keep his hands on your waist and glued you to him, so once you reached his apartment, he let go of the bags and kept kissing you mercilessly, it felt so good, his warm hands on your waist, his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth and your lips joined with a huge appetite. You realized he wanted to take control and if he did, you would end up making love slowly and not just fucking, so you gently pushed him away, he saw you confused with puffy lips and a look of lust.
“Let me show you how good it all looks on me.”
You gave him a quick kiss and took his hand, directing him to the couch where he sat.
He licked his lips as he bit them, stretched out his arms and settled back, trying to ignore his throbbing sex. He loved the way you played with it.
You took the first piece of black full body lace lingerie. You undressed in front of him and slowly and painfully slipped it on, Felix was struggling with his immense desire to make you his.
“Help me.”
You dropped onto his lap pretending to have trouble putting the garment on, you were so wet, you wanted to feel him like you had never wanted to feel him before. Felix put his hands on your body and quickly reached for your pussy, pulling the tight, thin fabric away from your center and began to play with your clit. You moaned, losing control of your initial plan as you were surrendered to his touch.
You unbuttoned his pants, removing them and his underwear in exasperation. And there was your friend's hard, firm cock lightly lubricated in semen, as nice and thin as he was, it looked exquisite, and you were going to ride it so well.
“Felix, the condom” you practically begged.
He gasped at the touch of your hand and firm grip, “over there,” he mumbled pointing to a cabinet with a drawer, you thought for a second if he fucks regularly or why he had condoms in accessible and strategic places. You walked by the condom, feeling your wetness with every step and positioned yourself in front of him, your knees on either side of his thighs.
“You should take pictures of me, with each of the lingerie, exclusively for you; I want you to know that I'm really grateful every time you do something nice for me” you stared at him as you opened the wrapper.
You put the condom on him, you could see how gorgeous, red and swollen his cock was ready for you, and slowly, carefully pulling the fabric apart, you sat on it, inserting it and feeling every inch as you went down.
“Shit, y/n, move for me” Felix gasped.
You moaned as you felt it buried in your pussy and began to enjoy yourself endlessly, jumping on his erection as each squat made you lose your breath. Felix held you tightly by the waist, accentuating each movement. You gave yourself thrusts leaning on his thighs and, when you felt his cock throbbing and his body getting weaker and weaker indicating his orgasm, you hugged him on his shoulders and kept moving your hips and ass with agility.
Felix completely agreed that you would take control and held your ass helping you a little until, between gasps and almost crying, Felix finally cummed. You were so possessed by adrenaline, you could feel your orgasm so close, that you accelerated your squats and held your breath for a second until you finally exploded in a sea of sighs and glistening fluid.
You dropped your tired body on Felix's shoulder, feeling his scent and immediately regretted it, it had been amazing, but you always thought the first time you would fuck Felix would be so sweet, on a warm day, maybe in spring, involving roses and a date… not in such a dirty way on a cold October night on his living room couch.
“You know I like you a lot, y/n. Let's stay that way.”
And you said something really stupid, something you had no intention of saying. You wondered what he meant, whether to continue to stay like this fucking, or cuddling?
“I like you too.”
You kept hiding in his neck, you were a coward who can't accept that you were capable of feeling something for someone.
And if that wasn't enough to make you feel bad, he gave you the sweetest cuddles once you came out of his cock, he tended you carefully and told you how pretty you looked.
After that he took your long awaited pictures and after taking your last one, he made sure to reward you so well that he ended up eating your pussy.
You ended the night by taking a shower together, and fucking you again in there; you watched the movie while he commented on each annotation he made, but Felix fell asleep halfway through, in your arms. You didn't know what to do, you didn't know if you were going to continue that way with him and you still weren't ready to take the big step of accepting his money just because suddenly you go out and he gives you everything, his sister already hated you… what would people think; you cared more about your situation with him than about what they would think if I slept with a stranger for money situation, although, nobody had to know it was for money, if somehow someone found out, you could say it was just a fuck, you thought.
So, resigned to the fact that you still had to pay your rent, you sent the pictures to Hari, to which she quickly replied with a «wow! I got em» Thirty minutes later, a screenshot of what your profile looked like, it was embarrassing for you. «I'll be sure to get you the best deals😉», she wrote back.
The next morning you woke up in Felix's bed, wearing his clothes; he must have moved you and you hadn't even noticed, you reached for your phone and couldn't believe your eyes, notifications from your bank account app, you had received ₩ 40 million.
You were ready to tell Hari that you had enough with what you were getting just for the pictures, you couldn't believe it.
[…]
And, on the other side of the city, in one of the best, luxurious and exclusive hotels in the place, the hotel owner himself, the young and wealthy Hwang Hyunjin and his friend who fit in the same category as him, Lee Minho, were having brunch.
“Ah, Lee Minho, he can finally have brunch with you in his busy schedule” Hyunjin told him.
Hyunjin had arrived and Minho was waiting for him, sitting in one of the hotel's restaurants next to the large window with a view of the city. Hyunjin was more into art, but being the only son of his powerful father who owned hotel chains, he gave him that one right on his 18th birthday, since then Hyunjin has taken more than good care of it, and decorates it in his favorite pieces of art, his favorite part.
Minho stood up to greet him, shaking hands and a quick hug.
“Busy me? If it's you who's going around the country with your galleries” Minho replied, sitting down.
“I know, I know, it's unbelievable. Have you ordered lunch yet?”
“Yes.”
“I'll order the same” Hyunjin shouted to his employee as he sat in his chair facing Minho.
“Big day tomorrow, huh?” added Minho.
“Of course, you have to be there, I even left the presidential suite just for you.”
Hyunjin leaned back in his chair clasping his hands together with a smile on his face. Minho laughed softly.
“I don't get ready in hotels anymore.”
“Well, do it for me this time, like old times. Besides… you have a plus one to my gallery event.”
Minho's soft, amused look tensed a little when he heard his friend.
“Oh yeah? Well, I think I'll go alone.”
“In fact it's mandatory that you go with someone, so I got you that someone.”
“No thanks, I'd rather not go.”
Hyunjin smiled sideways seeing how cute his friend was getting when he was getting into his temper.
“It's a girl, but if you want a boy you have to tell me before tonight” he joked.
“Why can't I be your date then?”
“I'm sorry, I'm already going with someone tomorrow. But I think it's time for you to start seeing more people.”
Minho gave him a dirty look, he didn't want to have that conversation at their meeting after weeks of not being aware of their lives.
“I'm fine, I'm busy.”
“When was the last time you fucked someone” Hyunjin blurted out in amusement trying to smooth the conversation.
“It's none of your business.”
“I'll take that as you haven't done it in a long time.”
“If you care so much why don't you fuck me in the suite.”
Hyunjin laughed, gently touching his nose, though deep down he believed this was no time for joking… or at least it was a little since he didn't know how to tell him what he had to say.
“I would but you'd have to pay back every penny I spent on the pretty girl.”
“You paid money to a girl to sleep with me against my will? Artists are weird, I thought we were in the 21st century.”
Hyunjin couldn't hold it in anymore so he licked his lips and finally confessed:
“Soyul will be there.”
Minho's smirk left his face little by little and his heart almost stopped when he heard after so long the name of his ex-girlfriend; and that was exactly what Hyunjin was referring to and of the expression on his friend's part that Hyunjin feared for. He couldn't lie to him, Soyul was one of his biggest investors, she had to be present and he couldn't fool his friend; he knew he still wasn't over her, not even after two long years since their breakup; in fact, the idea of getting him someone started a few weeks ago, at their meeting where a drunken Minho confessed to him in tears the deep pain and misery he felt after the one he considered the love of his life left him. That was for Hyunjin the straw that broke the camel's back, he was not going to see his friend depressed.
“So?” Minho tried to sound nonchalant.
“She's going with her boyfriend… and I think you're still not over her….”
“And you decided to hire a hooker? That's why you left me the suite, isn't it, motherfucker?”
“She's not a-, well, if you don't want to fuck her, don't, just let her keep you company at my event.”
“Weren't the regular girls available?”
“All the normal girls in our social circle know Soyul and let's face it, they are very gossipy, it will be embarrassing for you for them to know that you haven't moved on with….”
“I can go alone” he interrupted him, he couldn't bear to hear him say his ex-girlfriend's name one more time.
“Come on, Minho, give yourself a chance, she is really pretty, she is an actress and…”
“A porn actress?” he interrupted him, not taking it seriously.
Meanwhile, their waitress was delivering their food and drinks, trying to act normal after overhearing the conversation.
“She's a real actress. I'll text you all her information. She's a Scorpio like you if you care about zodiac signs.”
Minho didn't answer, he didn't feel like dealing with anything else.
“They're freaky” Hyunjin poke as he picked up his cutlery, Minho frowned. “Scorpios. They say they’re good in bed.”
[...]
“I got wonderful news”
Hari suddenly appeared with a huge smile at your work.
“Hello to you too?”
“Can you take a break?”
“I'll be back in 5” you shouted and took off your apron to go out with your friend.
“I'm about to close a deal, I think you should have the money by now. You have to quit your job now, you have a date on Saturday.”
You were perplexed.
“Hari, what did you do?” you felt your phone vibrate in the back pocket of your jeans.
And there it was, your bank account with an imaginable amount, you opened your mouth in surprise, this was starting to get serious with an amount like that.
“I told you.”
“But who is it? What does he look like?” you didn't know how to react.
“Don't worry, they are Chan's friends, they are 100% reliable.”
“Is it more than one?” you opened your eyes in surprise.
“It's not… it’s complicated, a friend of Chan's, Hyunjin hired you for his friend Minho, who said he agreed, he just didn't use the app. I wanted to negotiate for him to pay for both of them but I guess he was pretty generous. Anyway, he just wants you to accompany Minho to Hyunjin's exclusive exhibition and pretend to be in a relationship with him for at least two hours?”
It was a lot of information to process, you didn't know what to say.
“Hyunjin will explain you more in detail but seriously you have to go otherwise you will be fined that same amount paid and a little more. You can leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable since apparently Minho has a strong personality.”
“Believe me, I'll leave as soon as I walk through the door.”
[…]
There you were on your Saturday night, standing in front of the door of a luxurious hotel, you walked in and met the handsome young man who was in charge of filling your bank account. You walked shyly toward him and greeted him with embarrassment. His dress code was clear: a short black dress fitted to your silhouette, comfortable shoes and normal underwear. He was going to dress you.
You looked at him, there he was, the famous Hwang Hyunjin himself from the large dynasty of the Hwangs, very influential people; he was taller than you, he had sharp eyes and thick lips, he was more attractive in person and he had to tell you the same.
“You look spectacular, chérie” he mentioned flirtatiously. “Come here” he invited you to come closer and you did.
You weren't a big fan of this, but you had to admit that something inside you grew and made you feel incredibly horny, the atmosphere of the hotel, the tense silence and the incredibly handsome man in front of you, in addition to your submissive behavior… rarely turned you on a bit.
“Do you want me to call you a make up artist or your make up it’s fine?” he gently touched your hair.
You looked up to see him.
“I think, it’s okay like this.”
You were nervous and slightly horny.
You did your best job with your make up and hair already, the make up was natural and elegant but still visible, matte nude eyeshadow, sharp eyeliner, elongated lashes, soft blush and lipgloss. Your hair was styled with soft waves.
“Great, so we don’t waste more time. You look beautiful already, actually you look better than the photos” he put his hands in his pants pockets and looked at you up and down biting his lip. “The dress is ready in the room, but you know what actually, bring it right here. Dress in front of me.”
Hyunjin was already aroused and was fighting his instincts to seduce and touch you, yet you were his friend's tonight, but he thought it only fair to see first what he had paid for. He sat comfortably on the couch and waited for you to return. On the other hand you were more than nervous and strangely agitated with excitement, that dark-haired man dressed in a tight suit all white because that was the theme of the party and finally there it was, a dress whose style and logo you could recognize so well. A white Versace mini dress that you assumed would fit to your mid thighs, you thought you had only seen that style in black so it was strange to see it in the brand's signature pearl white; until you saw the name Hyunjin embroidered on the label, was it designed for you? A shiny black Jimmy Choo silhouette heels, and a white crossbody bag from the same designer of the dress, you were speechless, so amazed that you almost forgot Hyunjin's request, he wanted you to change in front of him, then you saw something that terrified you, a beautiful white lingerie that went perfect under the dress, he wanted to see you naked.
You wanted it to be quick, almost like pulling off a bandit, so you tried to take everything and brought it close to him where you found him sitting on the couch ready for his little private show. You undid your black dress at the bottom so as not to ruin your hair and unthinkingly removed your underwear. Hyunjin was engrossed, he wondered why he didn't choose you, but for him after seeing your naked body. He was struggling as hard as he could to keep an erection from appearing in his pants, but it was too late.
You took off your low sandals ready to put on your underwear but he interrupted you.
“Let me help you.”
He took the garment and squatted down while helping you slide your panties to your area. Hyunjin enjoyed every second of the soft touch of your legs and then stood up to help you fasten your strapless bra. You could feel the tension in the air so you just bit your lip, resisting his hot touches and his warm breath on the back of your neck.
Finally you put on your dress and heels and you looked completely different, you never thought you would get to wear something like that to a type of event you don't frequent. You awkwardly moved the things from your bag to the new one and tried to regain your sanity.
“Something's missing” he spoke and grabbed your left wrist.
Hyunjin put on you the characteristic white clover bracelet with gold from the refined Van Cleef jewelry.
“Well, you've seen Minho. This is the key and it's two floors up from here” he added, handing you the access card. “I want to see the two of you together in the gallery, he may even could offer you the double of money so you can leave, but please, you have to go with him.”
Hyunjin now spoke in a commanding tone giving you instructions, his hot moment had passed, he had to concentrate.
“And please… let me know if you and Minho fuck, if the idiot doesn't touch you we can maybe go to…. how about Santorini?”
It seemed that you had your feelings locked in a box and that you acted according to a fever dream. You thought you were an actress and could get out of it easily, you just had to act. Your role was now about a rich girl wannabe.
You entered the room unannounced as instructed by Hyunjin and took a few steps forward until Minho heard the door open, interrupting his grooming time so he came out of his room wrapped in a towel and still with slightly wet hair.
“I didn't order room serv…” he said.
Minho stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at you standing there. You didn't know what to do, you were frozen in place; you looked at him, he looked handsome and was half naked, except for the towel covering his private parts, you couldn't help seeing him, his worked body, muscular arms but not exaggerated, his abdomen marked with a small scar above his navel and…. you felt bad but you thought he was looking directly at you too, his marked penis above the white towel. Minho smiled sideways at your nerve to look at him and could tell your mild surprise as you looked at his package, a valid reaction he thought.
“You're in the wrong room or are you lost?”
Minho could predict why you were there, after all you could only get in with the key. He looked at you sternly waiting for an answer. You took a breath and spoke.
“I will be your companion today at the art exhibition.”
Minho laughed and let out a breath.
“I don't remember ordering a hooker either. That fucker Hyunjin sent you, didn’t he?”
The term took you by surprise and you were offended, you were about to defend yourself when he continued speaking.
“Seriously, you can go, I'll pay you more than whatever that bastard gave you, just go” he waved his hands in a gesture for you to leave.
“I won't.”
“Will you make me call security?”
“Do it” you challenged.
Minho exhaled in annoyance and touched his forehead in concern.
“I'm going to kill Hwang Hyunjin.”
Without another word he went back to his room and thirty minutes later he came out ready dressed in a white suit with his serious expression. He looked at you for a few seconds with contempt as he passed by you and headed towards his door ready to leave, you ran towards him, leaving at the same time.
“I don't know what Hyunjin is up to but when I see him I'll…”
He was expressing himself annoyed until more people entering the elevator interrupted him.
“I'll get my car keys” he said to you indifferently as he walked away towards the hotel counter.
You followed Minho, keeping a distance; you glanced around, being able to see from the huge waiting room to the large entrance to the restaurant where you could also see and your heart stopped for a moment when you spotted a long dyed blonde hair sitting at one of the tables. You turned quickly, hoping he couldn't see you, but as if fate would have it, you managed to see him leave his seat and approach the foyer. In panic you slipped into the waiting room where you sat with your back turned.
Felix went straight to Minho.
“Lee Minho” he blond greeted him enthusiastically.
“Hey, Yongbokkie, what brings you here.”
Minho turned to look at Felix and frowned when he saw that you were no longer behind his back, he looked at you for a few seconds until he deduced that you might have finally run away, which made him happy and disappointed at the same time.
“It's Olivia's birthday dinner”.
“Oh, congratulate her for me” the blond smiled at him.
“Are you about to leave?” Felix said.
“Yes, I'm going to Hyunjin's.”
“Sure, sure, maybe I'll stop by later.”
Minho just smiled at him and asked a few more trivial questions about his parents.
“Mr. Lee, your car is outside waiting for you” the employee interrupted them.
“I have to go Felix, I'll see you later.”
“Of course.”
You were hiding, praying that Felix wouldn't recognize your hair and suddenly you saw him chatting with your 'date' for tonight, apparently they were friends so you felt more terrified, what if by chance Minho decides to tell Felix? Oh you would be ruined. After the short talk you saw Minho leaving towards the exit so once again you slipped away almost running to catch up with Minho. He was surprised to see you back by his side. Minho said,
“Mm, the night was just starting to get nice when I thought you had left.”
You gave him a dirty look and followed him to his car where you sat in the passenger seat. When Minho put on his seat belt he noticed the shiny gold detail on the strap of your dress, it was the medusa logo characteristic of that high fashion Italian brand.
“The bastard dressed you in Versace, you already look more like his than mine.”
You stood still not knowing what to say, it was maybe the first nice thing he had said to you during all your short time together.
Minho inspected you quickly, he was so upset that his friend didn’t lie, and just like Hyunjin said, you were a really pretty girl.
“But he didn't put earrings on you, if you're going to come with me you have to look your best.”
Once again he spoke in a resigned tone and arrived at Tiffany's jewelry store. Minho was resigned to the fact that you would accompany him tonight so he thought if you were going to make Soyul jealous, you really had to do it. Besides he had already inspected you, at first glance you were too pretty and that dress fit you like a dream so that speeded things up.
Once again, you had to go behind him and you entered the luxurious establishment.
“Good evening, Mr. Lee, how can I help you? Would you like something to drink?” the worker hurried to say to you once you entered, with a smile, looking quickly towards you.
You noticed how she looked at you in surprise since Minho hadn't brought another girl since two years ago when he was still in a relationship.
“Nothing for me in particular, I'm looking for earrings for women.”
“Of course, I'll show you.”
Minho followed the young woman and you followed Minho, who led you deeper into one of the display counters; you had come a lot of times with Felix every time it was a special occasion for his family since he had been raised among only women, he always offered to buy you some jewelry but you flatly refused. And now there you were, about to accept them from a stranger.
“Choose” he ordered you. “Quickly, I don't like to be late” he looked at his watch.
Timidly you leaned down to look at each one of the fine jewelry until a pair of gold diamond earrings in the shape of a flower caught your attention.
“These” you murmured to Minho.
The clerk stood waiting for his confirmation.
“I'll take those.”
He quickly took care of paying for them without looking at the price and they were finally delivered in their characteristic turquoise box with a white bow. He got into the car first and left the box there, you snorted for a second annoyed at how ungentlemanly and attentive he was, one second you felt like a princess wearing Versace and taking you to Tiffany & Co. and the next you had to run to keep up with him.
As soon as you got in, he said curtly:
“Use them, we're about to get to Hyunjin's.”
You watched him take the steering wheel attractively and noticed two boxes in between of you. You didn't know why you took the other one and Minho, noticing it, quickly placed his hand on yours stopping you.
“It's the other box.”
You looked at him, he acted a little strange; you took the other box and put on those sparkling diamonds. You had taken the old engagement ring that Minho bought for Soyul before they broke up, he was ready to give it up as it was of no use to him, it was made to fit his ex-girlfriend's finger.
When you arrived you saw that it was not a simple exhibition, but a chateau style mansion with many cars parked at the grand entrance, you got nervous, just like Minho, normally he didn't get like this but it would be the first time he would see Soyul accompanied by the man why she left him and also he had his first kind of date after so long.
Minho let out a breath.
“Well, we have to do it right. You're an actress, right? Create a character right now so we can both be on the same page.”
You didn't know what to say.
“I can change my name and….”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Which one is right for you?”
“Anything…”
“Choi Eunjoo… photographer from…”
“A place far away, what about Jeju?” he mentioned intensely, he was nervous.
You nodded. You had chosen the name of an inactive random actress who studied at the same university as you, who was a friend of Felix's mother and whose cinematography he forced you to watch while your friend argued how good she looked at her age. If they try to look you up for your name, they would be surprised to see only her and her inactive projects in the early 2000s.
“Okay, let's go.”
You both walked down the dirt road, once you came out of the darkness and Minho noticed people watching, he grabbed you by the waist.
“And what is your real name, Eunjoo?” he whispered to you.
[…]
It was better than you expected, you didn't imagine that there would be a construction like this in the modern city, you drank Champagne while you didn't leave Minho's side even for a second; after a couple of drinks you both relaxed completely and walked around the house and admired Hyunjin's paintings. This was maybe a normal Saturday for Minho, but it was for you a dream, you felt like Cinderella, once the clock struck 12 and the charm would be completely gone.
At one point in a room you both finally met Hyunjin, Minho came over to greet him and you shyly watched them chat, Hyunjin gave you a complicit look and smile, he hadn't seen Minho relaxed in years, sadly it was short lived as Soyul entered the room.
You noticed Minho's jaw tighten and saw where his eyes were fixed, on a pretty slim woman with the face of a celebrity. You quickly understood and walked over to Minho, linking your arm around his.
“You're here” she said to him.
She quickly looked at you.
“I'm still Hyunjin's friend.”
“Jung Soyul, nice to meet you” she introduced herself.
You held hands and Minho saw something that broke his heart once again, an engagement ring on her finger, suddenly the alcohol left his body, he felt sick, the suit was suffocating him.
“Choi Eunjoo” you smiled at her.
“So are you dating?”
Hyunjin could notice the sour look she had on you and that caused him satisfaction.
“Yes” Minho went ahead to say.
“I haven’t see you before, Choi Eunjoo.”
She said hypocritically, blinking repeatedly.
“Oh, it's just that, I'm an indie photographer from Jeju and… I met Minho and the rest is history.”
“Oh, now that's romantic.”
“More romantic than getting to know each other when you're in another relationship” Hyunjin added amusedly, taking a sip of his drink.
Soyul gave him a dirty look. And Minho didn't find it funny, he wanted to get out of there. Soyul knew him so well and noticed his expression, meanwhile you were analyzing the look of pity she was giving your boss, so you turned to see him, he looked serious and pale. You quickly approached his ear, covering your lips and whispered to him:
“We can get out of here if you want, pretend I'm saying something nice to you and smile naturally. You're acting weird.”
And so he did, Minho smiled softly; he hadn't felt the touch of another woman in years, suddenly your warm breath and soft lips brushing minimally against his ear pleased him.
“We haven't seen the whole exhibition yet, excuse me” he added, taking your hand.
You moved far enough away and, in a crowded room, he let go of your hand and walked out the large doors to what you could see was a balcony. You didn't know whether to follow him, but you did anyway.
He had unbuttoned his suit and a few buttons on his shirt, he felt suffocated. You saw him leaning against the white stone railing.
“Should I ask what's got you like this?” you said softly.
“You don't have to follow me around all the time” he added defensively. “Soyul cheated on me and now she is going to marry that motherfucker, what a great night to find out.”
You didn't say anything, you didn't know how to comfort someone and in a way, Minho was grateful for your silence.
“Well, once I say it out loud it sounds pathetic” he added.
“Hyunjin told me it was complicated for you…” you approached him and hesitated to touch him, but slowly rubbed your hand on his back, “that he wants the best for you and you start to meet new people.”
Minho let out a chuckle and watched you carefully, he hadn't given himself the task of observing how pretty you looked in that dress, under the moonlight, the way your eyes sparkled and how your lips looked so appetizing, Minho found himself losing his temper a bit for you so he quickly rejected any feelings and immaturely, he became elated and said:
“I don't know why I'm saying this things to a hooker anyway.”
He brushed off your touch and walked away leaving you absolutely lost and somewhat hurt.
The rest of the night you didn't find Minho and you were starting to get scared, you felt out of place, lost in a huge house, full of rich people laughing in their own social circle, you were so sensitive you wanted to cry, you wondered if Minho had abandoned you there.
You checked the time, past midnight and 5 minutes, it was time to go. You tried to look for a way out until you made it, you felt so embarrassed that you would ask for a cab but the signal on your phone there was terrible.
Suddenly you felt a big hand grab your wrist, you turned around scared and found the man you almost cried for tonight.
“Let's get out of here.”
Confused, he led you to his car and you parted on the road in silence. Minho had pondered all night and wanted to take the next step, to finally be with a woman other than his ex-girlfriend, but he didn't know exactly how to ask you.
As you merged into the city you realized he was heading in an unknown direction until you reached the hills in one of the more upscale neighborhoods and finally saw that he had taken you to his house.
You thought he was a selfish piece of shit and there were two options, suddenly he wanted to fuck you or he went home exhausted and sad and would let you call a cab to take you home. But what you didn't know was that he was cynically leaning towards the first option.
You got out of the car and now he was the one running towards you.
“Why that face y/n?” he said, approaching you.
You looked at him indignantly, suddenly he was calling you by name and wanted to have you close, you thought he must be drunk.
“Let's go inside, you have to be a good girl and thank me for the earrings, I'll make sure to buy you more pairs.”
He grabbed you by the waist, you noticed how his voice became gravelly, but that wasn't how you fell and he knew he said a couple of hurtful things but he didn't know how to apologize. You questioned whether you should play along, fuck him and call it a day and go home, as sadly you had to play along, or so you thought.
You stared into his eyes, those big dark eyes in a cute cat shape, he was attractive and from what you saw earlier he had a good dick, so you decided that if you would cry at least make sure it was worth it.
“What do you have in mind?” you rounded his neck and moved your face closer.
He smiled mischievously and, the next thing you knew, you were both in his home entrance devouring each other's lips. Minho had a lot of dirty ideas while he was away from you during the party, the alcohol made him horny. He took off his coat and untucked his shirt and undid his belt. He slipped his hands under your dress lifting it and shamelessly squeezed and massaged your ass, drawing you to his body where you began to feel his erection rubbing against you; Minho loved the idea of touching your bare ass since you only had tiny panties on, you moaned as you felt his lips and tongue on your neck, for some reason his mouth was so soft and you were a complete sucker when you were treated to a lot of physical contact during sex.
You parted and an act of lust, he sought to undo your dress and bra, he stared at you, semi naked for him and began to move his kisses down your breasts without breaking eye contact, it looked fucking good to watch him as he moved down your body and feasted himself on your tits until he moved down to your underwear and wet pussy. By this point you were panting and in need of action. His sharp nose brushed against your mons pubis and he slowly slid your underwear down your legs until he stripped them from you. He parted your legs a little and you felt his hot breath on your area screaming for attention. Minho took your pussy with his big hands and parted your folds, sticking his tongue out shyly and giving your whole pussy a deep, dirty kiss. You gave a little cry of excitement and didn't think you were capable of standing in heels while he ate you out.
Minho felt so good, with his thumb he stimulated your clit as you gave little spasms into him from your excitement. He noticed that you were becoming increasingly impossible to hold so he stopped, carried you suddenly upstairs to his room. Minho laid you down on his bed while he stayed on the edge of it finishing undressing himself. You watched the spectacle with excitement, from his notorious veins to his hands undoing buttons that looked tiny and finally his pants releasing his big firm erect cock, your heart raced faster just watching it, it was delicious, he was incredibly endowed, it was big and thick with notorious veins, you bit your lip thinking how incredibly painful but pleasurable that would feel in your pussy.
Minho saw your reaction and quickly positioned himself over you, he took your wrists and held them with one hand above your head.
“Did you like what you see, little whore?”
You nodded, unable to speak properly, if you tried to say anything it would surely be in a needy tone. You could feel him slapping your belly every time he came closer to you.
“You want it in your mouth?”
You almost screamed please, but before you could speak, Minho lay back waiting to be satisfied. On your knees and arching your back purposely giving him a view of your dripping pussy, you took his big cock and inserted it into your mouth tasting every vein. Minho sat up and began to fuck you with two fingers inserting them into your vagina. You are a mess, completely wet, with cum and saliva sliding down the corner of your lips, you didn't think it could have been better until you feel his hands on your hips and he tries to position you on top of him. You helped him a little and for the first time you were experiencing the 69 position.
You were panting between his big dick, your nose was starting to get slippery and little tears were coming out of your eyes. On the other hand Minho had his tongue deep inside you, he was tasting your labia, and stimulating your clitoris and from time to time he passed your wetness stimulating your exposed ass.
You stopped sucking him off when you felt your climax near, you sat up while resting your hands on his marked abdomen, only your gasps and grotesque sound of Minho devouring your pussy could be heard in the room, occasionally he would let out tinies 'mmmh' enjoying every second of you. You clung more to his abdomen and lifted your ass gently so as not to rest all your weight on him; you threw your head back blinded with pleasure.
“I'm gonna cum” you announced in a desperate, choked cry.
And just when you didn't think it could have been any better, Minho accelerated his licking and sucked harder, bringing you to the edge until you collapsed in his mouth. Your orgasm had been so strong that it hurt your abdomen a little.
You pulled away from him, embarrassed and soaking wet but Minho was more than happy. He leaned back on his elbows and wiped his mouth with a smile, it had been a long time since he had the intimacy of good sex, let alone eating such an appetizing nice pussy like yours, he smiled as he was satisfied that he was still excellent in bed.
You looked at his naked body again, his hard cock was needy and sensitive and within seconds you were horny again. Minho grabbed you roughly by the face and kissed you heatedly. He pulled away from you and with his hand made a motion indicating you to turn around, confused you showed him your ass and put yourself in four.
Minho without thinking caressed your buttocks and then spanked you hard 5 times in a row, each stroke exalted you and made you moan pleasurably, your skin was burning with pain, you could predict that your ass was thus as red as your riotous cheeks.
Minho played with your pussy a little, reinserting his fingertips, you saw him take a condom and within seconds you felt the latex on the tip of his penis teasing your entrance. Until you felt him slowly insert half of his erection and then insert the rest all at once causing you to let out a soft cry. You arched your back again as you gently moved your ass, adjusting yourself to his massive cock, filling your insides.
“I'm going to fuck you hard, kitten.”
He murmured and without warning and without mercy he began to ram you bestially making the sound of his pelvis slapping your buttocks resonate along with the sounds of your wet and well lubricated cunt. You couldn't help but moan every time he was inside, you felt like you were going to swoon all over him, it felt so good for you as well as for him, finally, the adrenaline and desire to fuck someone who wasn't as vanilla as his ex-girlfriend, Minho always liked to fuck hard.
You were in paradise, you were wearing diamonds and he was abruptly pounding your insides. Minho was holding you by the hips but soon grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled it, riding you wonderfully; his view was beautiful, he pulled his grip tighter and pressed you to his body, your back rubbing against his bare chest, you could feel his cock protruding from your lower belly, thrusting you hard. In one swift movement, he held you with his strong right arm whose naughty fingers pinched and stimulated your clit and with his left hand he began to gently choke you. He gasped from time to time in your ear “fuck” over and over again. You both synchronized your climax and you felt the grip of his hand on your neck getting tighter and tighter until you couldn't breathe, you adored it, you loved how your body was fighting for oxygen but at the same time seeking the culmination of your pleasure, your heart beat faster and oxytocin shot out of your system and in desperation you placed your hands on his hand on your neck, you felt every vein exalted from his strong grip.
You thought you were going to pass out but it was only your shuddering second orgasm, Minho slowly released you and cum on the condom still inside you. You ended up exhausted, racing and with your limbs trembling.
You had never been fucked so well that you almost felt the need to tell him I love you so you could have him forever.
The next morning you woke up naked, still in his comfortable bed. When you opened your eyes you found Minho buttoning his shirt, he looked all tidy and was getting ready.
“Are you going somewhere on Sunday?”
You spoke, hoarse and still asleep.
Minho turned to see you and smiled, he thought you looked cute with your hair in disarray and your face a little puffy, but after a second he regretted it. He refused to feel anything for you other than just desire.
“You have to go. The driver is outside.”
He told you coldly and walked out of his room, leaving you slightly heartbroken.
He was unbelievable.
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tsukii0002 · 7 months ago
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Luke and Mc, by some strange alignment of planets, are having a disagreement.
Luke: You can't tell me what to do!!!!
Mc: I have more experience than you!
Luke: ???? I'm thousands of years older!
Mc: But you are a child!!!!
Luke: I'm older than you!!!
Mc: But I am human!!!! I matured sooner!!! I'll die before you stop being a child!!!!
Luke: …
Mc: …
Luke: *starting to tear up* …
Mc: Oh..
Luke: *crying* Don't say that!!!! *hugging them tightly* don't say that...
Mc: *giving him back his hug* Luke… I'm sorry...
Luke: I'm sorry too…
Mc: *caressing his back*
Luke: Did you mean it? About you dying before I'm an adult?
Mc: Well.. That would be the normal thing to do, wouldn't it? You said it yourself…
Luke: Yeah... But-
Mc: But taking into account my situation with demons, angels and my master, who happens to be an immortal human…
Luke: ...
Mc: Who knows? Maybe they'll sneak something in my food to make me immortal too….
Luke: I hope they do…
.
.
There is a scene in the original game where Luke talks about Mv having to die to visit the Celestial realm in a way that makes it seem, to me, that Luke has pretty much assumed Mc's mortality. But since it's season 1 (I think) I would like to think that as they get closer Luke is getting more and more afraid of Mc's death, because he doesn't know what will become of them, if they will go to the celestial realm, the Devildom, if they will be reborn, or if any of those things happen, will thry remember him or if they will be able to be together. Besides, we all know that when we fight we feel things more so….
.
.
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bolognamayhem117 · 7 months ago
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Hot Take: Astarion does NOT hate flowers. You just missed a few subtle hints through Act 1 and early Act 3.
Astarion's negativity is directed toward just about anything remotely pleasant as you move through early act three, starting the moment you leave Wyrm's Rock. First thing after Gortash's coronation he marvels near tears at the colors of the city in daylight. If you ask if he's alright, it pisses him off.
There's other instances I can't quite remember but he's a straight crank throughout early Act 3 and it took me several hours of gameplay to have a lightbulb moment about his newly crappier attitude.
He just spent the last two hundred years seeing everything in the overwhelmingly warm dim tones of indoor lighting via sconces, rushlights, and braziers, or the dingy blue gray of moonlight outside. Daylight colors are something he had more than a lifetime to forget and now that he has a chance to remember that vibrancy in his own home town, he knows he's going to have to forget it all over again either by death or by remaining a vampire spawn forever. The worm isn't going to live rent free in his head forever, and killing Cazador to ascend in his place likely feels like an insurmountable and impossible fight against a literal titan who could stomp him flat without a corm of effort.
He doesn't hate flowers, he hates EVERYTHING right now because it's all going away very soon and if he convinces himself he hates everything then he won't miss it when it's all gone again. He was denied this for two hundred years and he's PISSED at what was stolen from him and PISSED it's all going away again.
He behaved similarly in Act 1 about anyone besides him enjoying physical intimacy. Some of this content was cut, to my best knowledge, but the overwhelming majority of his dialog addressing the PC romancing anyone but him are negative or backhanded. This is for two reasons, I think. A: his Simple Plan just dissolved right before his eyes when you chose someone else which in his mind means he has zero safety net, and EVERYONE gets to enjoy sex (key wording being ENJOY, not simply having) except him... And it pisses him off.
He also gleefully interrupts the bug bear and the ogress, I think for the same reason as the above paragraph, being: If he doesn't get to enjoy intimacy neither do they.
He reacts with anger and disgust at anything he's being unfairly denied. Which... That's fair. His feelings are valid, but his reaction to it is pretty shitty and meanspirited.
The other companions I tend to keep in my party, (that is Lae'zel, Halsin, Karlach, and Wyll) however, are actually appearing to behave pretty patiently with him in Act 3 which I find interesting.
In the instance with the flowers Karlach doesn't bother trying to convince him otherwise of his opinion, she just tells him how they make her feel instead and rather than getting snippy or doubling down he more or less agrees to disagree. I also don't recall anyone disagreeing with Astarion during Gale's last quest tasks when he mentioned that he quit praying to gods who wouldn't hear him a long time ago but to be fair, I think the gods did everybody in this crew dirty and they all know it. It seems like they're consciously giving him the space to be mad about things, is what I'm saying.
Everyone I know including myself who crawled out of a long-term hot garbage situation kinda went wild for a bit with freedom, spoke poorly, behaved strangely, had extreme emotional reactions to things, and made some particularly terrible choices. I think that's just a part of recalibrating yourself, healing and learning how to be okay again.
Point is, I wouldn't conflate too many of the turbo-negative things he says with how he actually feels about anything. We certainly know what he says and what he feels are two very different things.
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