#i think we have a lot; but a lot of folks expect too much bc they're comparing tua to much bigger productions

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[skrunksthatwunk]

been wringing my hands about the concept of family therapy. scary stuff. like maybe it could help and we sure as hell need SOMETHING to change but i think it would be like taking a potato peeler to the soles of my feet

[aroaceleovaldez]

i'm so happy you brought back up the topic of rick's shitty writing of anyone even remotely non white / "white passing"

with that being said, do you think the shitty script he gave to annabeth in the show has to do with him just being deeply uninterested in adapting his story to include characters of color? bc it seems like once rick encounters a character that cannot be easily erased all ethnic or racial identity of to fit them into an usamerican specifically white ass narrative, he gets lost.

i just keep thinking how the only thing that "changed" about annabeth as presented in the show was her race but her plot relevance and her characterization got downgraded severely. meanwhile percy, whiter than before (wheres the mediterranean god look......................................), got half her functions. like i just look at rick in context and i wonder if he just gives so little fuck about characters of color he cant even write a decent character arc for an adaptation of a very established persona

thoughts? thank u!

I wouldn't be surprised if it's Rick (and the writer's room, since it actually seems Rick isn't all that heavily involved if much at all with the script itself based on some interviews) just has internal biases that he refuses to reflect on. It would be a consistent trend with the uptick in offensive writing in the books themselves (see: the troglodytes in general, all the Jewish kids in CHB being in Hermes cabin, etc etc). Rick seems to want to engage with these topics but refuses to actually assess how he's approaching it and his own biases while also overemphasizing his engagement with the topics. It's a kind of big talk/words vs actions type thing to me.

[this got a wee bit long so throwing it under a cut]

I was having a couple of conversations about this topic recently - one being group reading/discussion of WottG and how, allegedly, the slightly different characterizations in that book are inspired by the actors in the show. Annabeth is repeatedly and frequently described as motherly and maternal in the book, plus some other misc characterizations that make you tilt your head and go "Wait, what about Leah made you want to write Annabeth this way?" and concerns about it leaning into stereotypes. (It's also strange, because in the show Sally is MUCH more aggressive and less maternal, and this is painted like it's supposed to be a girlboss thing cause her being too soft and motherly was too weak or something? But now book Annabeth is now being described as all soft and maternal??? What. What is happening.)

Another conversation that i had with my therapist (cause we talk about pjo a lot lol) and later repeated and discussed more with other folks on discord more specifically regarding the show was a lot of discussion about the casting. Particularly casting choices and how the writing either is refusing to take casting into consideration to respectfully approach how things would be changed to avoid problems or are actively changing the script for characters in a way that is potentially if not downright offensive. Clarisse is the number one example i bring up because a lot of people say that the reason a plus sized actress wasn't cast for her was to avoid the "fat bully" trope. The thing is, there is ALSO a POC bully trope that is just as bad if not worse, so if they were actually taking offensive tropes into consideration one would expect them to avoid that too (especially since Percy was cast as a pasty white boy - which just makes it all look worse)? (Also other plus-sized characters like Dionysus and Gabe were also cast as skinny, same with Tyson. So it just seems like they don't want to cast plus-sized actors either.)

But also they're rewriting stuff that actively puts the casting decisions into worse tropes. Like hey, why is Percy (a white guy) the one who knows the "real" versions of all these myths and is expositioning them to Annabeth (a black girl), who in the books is supposed to know more than him? Why does he know better than her for some reason and have to guide her? Why is Percy teaching Annabeth about pop culture and how to be a kid? Not to mention stuff like the show constantly encouraging the viewer to doubt or distrust characters like Grover and Clarisse and Annabeth as red herrings as to who the traitor is. Plus there's no adjustments to stuff from the books like Annabeth initially being somewhat aggressive/antagonistic towards Percy, or Clarisse's aggression and bullying towards Percy to try and circumvent those being bad tropes in the contexts of the casting.

And there's an ongoing trend of characters who are antagonistic towards Percy in the books being divided into two groups: those who continue to be antagonistic towards Percy in the show, or those who are tweaked to suddenly become kinda silly-goofy and significantly less threatening. Gabe, Dionysus, Ares, and Hades are all examples of characters that should be antagonistic towards Percy but are softened SIGNIFICANTLY and played for laughs in the show. Echidna is played as a twist antagonist because she initially because she approaches the kids as very sweet and helpful. And they're all cast as white! Meanwhile other characters like Clarisse, Luke, Zeus, etc, are still antagonistic towards Percy (plus also like Annabeth initially and again, Grover being painted as a major red herring). Plus some new additions like Hermes, Mr. Lin Manuel Miranda himself, being wholly introduced into the plot when he's not supposed to appear until book 2, and all he does is sabotage the quest. Like, it's weird! That's a weird writing decision!!!! I get wanting to get that sweet sweet LMM cameo money, but, why is Hermes an antagonist here???????? he's not even supposed to be here yet!.

We also have stuff like Poseidon (who, like many of the god/major kid pairings so far seems to have been cast to match each other appearance-wise) saving the day for Percy and being this weirdly good dad, versus the books where we get the iconic "I am sorry you were born" line and Percy and Poseidon's tension is part of their arcs. Notably, Poseidon does this by ceding to Zeus, who is actively about to start a war. While Gabe is rewritten to be a total loser, Sally is MUCH more aggressive and her yelling and screaming at young Percy is supposed to be sympathetic for some reason? If Gabe were acting like Sally does in the show, he would actually be significantly more like his book counterpart! The show is making active decisions to paint these characters the way they do!

Admittedly, part of it may just be they got overzealous with their casting (not inherently a bad thing! diverse casting is good!) and then proceeded to not consider how that casting affects the way the characters are perceived. It also doesn't bode well for certain guesses we can make going further into the show - Thalia is very at odds with Percy initially. She's a very aggressive character. They fight a lot! Also Annabeth's description already implies that they're tweaking Thalia's character to be more "tough love" versus the books where she's significantly more of a bleeding heart when she first meets Annabeth. Like, I'm very happy about Thalia's casting, her actress seems amazing, but also I'm VERY concerned with how they're going to approach her character to make sure it doesn't end up wildly offensive. Athena is similar - we can guess based on casting decisions so far that they're going to try and cast Athena as similar in appearance to Annabeth/Leah. The show has already painted Athena has antagonistic and uncaring towards her daughter. If projected trends continue, these things are not gonna be great.

And the show does seem to rarely want to engage with these topics - like the scene with the cop in the train. You can tell what they wanted to address by having Annabeth be the one to confront him. The thing is they were too cowardly to actually have that conversation! They paint the kids as being unreasonable and getting unnecessarily upset when they aren't directly being accused of destroying a room, therein painting the cop as the one in the right in that situation. The implication seems to be a little bit they were going for "Oh, this is Annabeth's hubris getting them into trouble" but. that's such a bad way to do it! That's like the worst way you could have done it! (This is also a trend in books from HoO onwards, more or less - Rick tries to engage with certain topics, often using characters of specific demographics, and then proceeds to do a really bad job of it.)

There are also some aspects that are just like - in the books, Luke being a middle-class blond-haired blue-eyed pretty white boy is relevant! Because the fact that he has privilege from that particularly in how he's perceived is part of how he came to where he is and why he acts the way he does. Percy not having those same privileges, and having aspects like constantly inherently being labeled as a trouble-maker just based on his atypical (neurodivergent) behavior and coming from a lower socioeconomical background play heavily into his character!!! Percy being both a poor and disabled kid (and implied potentially POC) plays DIRECTLY into why he feels so strongly about standing up for other disenfranchised kids (in SoM, explicitly including other disabled kids and kids of color). It directly relates to his experiences and standing up for kids who are like him because he didn't have that, versus Luke whose perceptions and goals are very self-oriented. Now, in the show, we've essentially swapped Percy and Luke's appearances, and that paints a very different narrative. And that's important to acknowledge!

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

“Guilty” Little Pleasures

 Some of these will have references to my HCs about their family so check out my HCs here! (if you want) (also some of these are not guilty bc there are a few boys that are straight up shameless so...)

HEARTSLAYBUL Riddle - He’s done this since he was a kid. It started off as a tiny rebellion, and he never got caught, so he never stopped doing it. But late at night, if he happens to wake up, he’ll go to the kitchen and just slice a piece of butter to eat Just Like That. When he was younger he would only take what he could get without there being a visible difference, but in a dorm there’s no telling who’s using the butter and when, so taking a bigger chunk isn’t an issue...right? Trey - He’s a brony. He started watching MLP as a joke with his little siblings and then suddenly he was tucking away merch carefully in his room so that they wouldn’t find it. He’s more embarrassed about his family finding out than he is about friends finding out, so if he lets it slip somehow, please let him nerd out. Please. (Trey and Idia don’t interact much but now they have to) Cater - He has a love/hate relationship with catfishing/ghosting people. Not for long, mind you, he doesn’t want to genuinely lead anyone on, but using some photo of a hot model and a few minutes setting up a fake dating profile, he matches with everyone he can. He knows the compliments are meant for the picture of the person he posted, but for just a few minutes, he can pretend they’re for him. Instead of coming clean, he just leaves them on read and never talks to them again. Deuce - We already know how conflicted he is about his favourite food (eggs) so the mild guilt only gets worse when he finds he enjoys both the sound and the feeling of crushing the shells in his hands, especially after hard boiling eggs and parts of the shell are all connected and he can just make them CRUNCH. Ace - He likes to sneak out of his room at night- but not for troublemaking. He likes to go sit with the hedgehogs since they are nocturnal and just chill with them, because when nobody else is around he gets to babytalk them. Cater has caught him Once.  (everyone else is below!)

Savanaclaw Leona - Similar to Trey, he watched Bluey with Cheka and Falena once and now he binges it when he needs a good cry, he will NEVER tell anyone he owns the vinyl for it though. Ruggie - Oh man my dude LIVES for starting drama without getting involved. He likes watching from the sidelines. HC that he will get paid by folks around the school to use his signature spell to get petty revenge on someone. It’s never meant to hurt anyone, but kinda just ruin their day. Someone landed the entire class detention with Crewel? Yeah, they might end up stuck standing in a water fountain for a half hour with their homework. Jack - To me, Jack is the youngest in his family (I expand on that in my family HCs ^^) and while he feels a little guilty, he is the #1 offender for licking a knife of peanut butter and putting it back in the jar to continue using it. He’ll do the same for jam and jelly. He drinks straight out of the milk jug. He got caught once by his sister and she made him pay for the jar of peanut butter in hopes he wouldn’t do it again- but it didn’t work. Octavinelle Azul - He spends a lot of money on outfits he wants to wear, but he doesn’t think he ever will, whether it be confidence issues or once he gets it its not what he expected, but its a self punishment to not return it and get his money back so that he can just look at it and think about whether he’ll ever be brave enough to take that first step and just try it on. More often than not, it’s a lot of extravagant dresses that he’s too shy to try on, but he loves shopping for. Jade - He prides himself on his composed personality, though when the mostro lounge closes for the night, when not even Floyd can see him, he likes first watching the lobsters in the tank like a cat, pupils blown up and grinning, ready for his little self indulgent time. When he finally gets bored, he partially reverts into his mer form, plunging his hands into the tank and grabbing one to snack on. He makes sure to write it off to “waste” before Azul can find out.  Floyd - Eating things he knows he’s not supposed to. It’s not his fault land items look so yummy, and his teeth need something to sink into, harder than would be tolerated for affectionate bites. Anything with something tough on the outside and soft on the inside or makes a popping noise is the best, like tightly bound leather or bubble wrap or pop cans. Scarabia Kalim - I have a rather dark HC for him here, but if you’re looking for something lighter, he has a really bad habit at picking at his lips. When he does remember to wear chapstick, he usually licks it off because it tastes good... Jamil - TV dinners, man, this poor guy loves to cook, he genuinely does, but sometimes when Kalim makes him cook unexpectedly for 20+ people, he does not want to even eat what he’s made by the time he’s done cleaning up. At least when it’s under those circumstances, he can justify eating microwave dinners, but a lot of time he just has them when he’s straight up EXHAUSTED. Pomefiore Vil - Aw man, his weak spot is pizza. Sometimes he calls to place an order with a voice modulator and picks up his order in disguise just outside of campus and just....destroys two large pizzas a a 1 liter bottle of cola, hiding in a very specific spot in the walls by the gate of campus where there’s a gap just big enough for him to stuff himself into and hide his Gremliness.

Rook - Does this man even feel guilt for things he should feel guilt for? I don’t know. What he does do though, is watch potential couples on campus, and if he thinks they’re going to fall apart before they get together, forges a love letter from one to another. Epel - In case pocket onions weren’t enough, Epel likes sneaking into Vil’s room and trying on his clothes, only to mock him in his mirror. He is meticulous in putting everything back where it’s meant to be, but also shifts everything on Vil’s vanity just slightly to the left to fuck with him a bit. He always leaves through the window, he does not want to be found in the hallway by accident. Ignihyde Idia - He has so many...but his biggest guilty pleasure is doomscrolling Leona’s magicam page bc....Beeg kitty (I don’t ship them, sometimes people are just Nice To Admire) Ortho - (this is sad I’m sorry) he looks through photos of his human counterpart and wonders if he is filling the shoes that have been left for him properly. If he’s developing the way the human Ortho would have. Diasomnia Malleus - Obviously, he enjoys sneaking out, but sometimes when he’s out he just likes to go fishing. He could, catch a fish by hand in seconds, but he enjoys the peaceful quiet and patience the sport requires. He only fishes until he’s caught one worth eating, guts it, then takes care to cook it to perfection using his flames before eating it. Lilia - This man canonically picks his nose in public how tf am I supposed to top that. Silver - When someone other than his dad is cooking/baking something in the oven, like fish, he likes to peel up bits and pieces of the oil/seasoning and just eat it. If there’s the skin of something on there, yeah he’s eating it. Sebek - He has a stuffie collection that hides under his bed, which is part of why he was so enamoured by his stuffie in Harveston. RSA Che’nya - He likes to eat his bananas without peeling them. Just Because. Neige - He will drink shots of ranch. Sorry. Cheka - licks his play-dough. Knows not to eat it. But He Likes The Salt

[perfectlyripeclementine]

hi friends. this post is for folks who have some combo of disposable income and/or generational wealth.

i urge folks to consider how much you’re giving to mutual aid in comparison to how much you spend on stuff that you feel is frivolous. things that make your life a little better but that you wouldn’t suffer tremendously going without. this is a method that has helped me become a lot more generous.

this number is different for everyone. for me, that’s $40 on doordash every so often bc i’m too tired to cook or run groceries. it’s $30 i drop on buying a book on a whim.

i think we all deserve nice things that go beyond our immediate need for survival — and also, those of us who live with some degree of financial ease should share the abundance we have. my desire for comfort is not more important than another human’s right to food, shelter, and safety.

it’s easy to get trapped in - i can’t make a difference, i can’t individually solve poverty, i can’t fix structural injustice. all that is true, but my money can help alleviate suffering. if i can afford to drop $40 on drinks with a friend, how much can i afford to give someone who is hungry? or escaping war?

we know that lower income folks tend to share their money more than wealthy folks. culturally, people who grow up with money are taught to be cagey with it - with how much they have, how much they spend, and how much they can afford to give. if we are committed to solidarity we need to intentionally build in practices of sharing and mutual aid because we are taught to feel stingy around it otherwise.

i just shared a post with an evacuation fund for folks trying to leave Rafah. it is an emergency. Gaza has been in a state of emergency for the past 7 months — but what’s happening in Rafah right now is different. the clock is ticking and we can help people escape death.

if you’ve got a little left over after you pay your bills, if you expect to receive an inheritance, how much did you spend last time you bought something that was maybe a little irresponsible but that you knew wouldn’t impact your safety? can you afford to spend that amount to save someone’s life?

[christiansorrell]

TTRPG Read-Through: Liminal Horror

Here is a read-through I did last year (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the my current go-to game for modern horror: Liminal Horror by Goblin Archives! - Christian

I cut my teeth learning to GM as a Keeper in Call of Cthulhu and I've really been jonesing for a game in this genre that's more in the style of rpg I enjoy these days. I'm hoping this will be it!

Really excited about this. Shifting away from mental illness and trauma, both of which have their obvious problematic pitfalls, is something I could see really opening up what a character looks like and goes through after having things go wrong in interesting new ways.

Big spread on Facilitator and Player Principles. I think this is all very solid advice as a one-time or just-before-play read, but it's definitely too much for quick reference. That said, I always love reminding folks that we "play to find out what happens."

I may be off the mark but these two bullets make me think Goblin Archives is a Friends at the Table listener. Both of these make me immediately think of Austin's openings on there (which is a very good thing, for me).

Very straightforward stats. I like the HP distinction here and how it seems to refill between events/encounters and when drained is when you see actual damage occur. More inventory structure than I expected (I like that tho!) Cool to see character AND party questions here.

I really loved the Backgrounds and character options in The Bureau, a Control-inspired megadungeon-like module for this system I did a read-through of about a month or so ago. Excited to see more of that here. Also, I really need to play as a Very Online character.

Nice open character creation. I enjoy these types of questions: why do you believe there's something weird going on? What ideology guides you? What are your connections in the world, important relationships, etc.? Those create way more juicy bits than stats alone can provide.

I first encountered these kinds of character bonds in Fate years ago, but it's been a go-to house rule of mine during Session 0/1 for anything my group is planning to do longer than one-shot play for. Even in a single session, it can add a lot. Cool to see it here.

It's a d20 roll-under system (no modifiers, yay). Adding fatigue to inventory slots is a great way to make a mechanic out of that. Also, associates were unexpected! Shows this game could be more than just 3-4 bumbling normies going into the unknown (which is what I envisioned).

Combat is fairly straightforward (in a good way). No rolls to hit, it's just damage that is varied. Props to not using Advantage/Disadvantage as a game term like everyone else. Again, the Detachments make me think this game could have some wild situations come up!

Open-ended spell casting here (reminds me most recently of Primal Quest). They come and go day to day which is interesting, potentially changing entirely. I like the failure being equal to the desired effect. Want to kill someone with a spell? Be prepared to die if things go bad.

Okay, these relics are extremely cool. A blade that does MIND DAMAGE and requires recharging by feeding it memories? Good stuff.

Fallout is really interesting. Take enough DMG to go through your HP and it ticks away your Strength until you die (or take crit DMG). Fallout is the same but wears at your Control. Gaining Fallout makes you odder/more open to the true nature of things, but makes you heartier.

This is a good approach bc it means leaning into the things most games gate behind "sanity" here makes you more able to cope with the weird in the future. Feels like a path to more interesting stories (rather than the CoC-style "you are in a sanitarium now" character ending).

Remainder of the book is a small bestiary with monster creation guidelines, spark tables and a lean but comprehensive mystery creation guide along with a sample mystery. The loose framework, a steady clock ratcheting tension, and a focus on lots of clues feels like good guidance.

Having a mystery take only 6 pages feels much more approachable than the very traditional heavy-prep and lots-of-writing mysteries of something like Call of Cthulhu or Delta Green. I homebrewed a lot of CoC, and the prep work there can be pretty huge. This feels nice tho.

Overall thoughts: the book is a very lean and focused take on creating horror that doesn't get bogged down in the other ttrpg pitfalls of the genre while also having nice mechanics for associates, large scale encounters, etc. so there's room for a lot of types of stories here.

I'll definitely be trying to knock out a mystery for this as part of the jam. I've got a lot of weirdness to get out of my system and this seems like an easy, streamlined way to do it. Also, excited to play The Bureau and The Mall.

You can pick up the most recent addition of Liminal Horror in print via Space Penguin Ink. You can also find it on Itch. The rules and additional content also available entirely for free on Goblin Archives github.

Also, I wrote an adventure for this system last year: Tunnels in White.

Old money siphoning new money from every corner of your city. An aging mansion, quiet and worn. An old corporation shifting its gaze from development to development, always hungry, always growing.

A warehouse bearing the name Singleton Solutions, small and unassuming in one of a hundred industrial parks like any other, takes in truckload after truckload but never sends anything out. It’s the same for the people. Sometimes, they arrive in towncars, other times in shuttle vans. None come out. Ever.

What you know is something strange is going on inside that warehouse and you are determined to discover what it is. What you cannot know is where and how far the mystery may take you.

You can grab a print or digital copy HERE. It's also available via Itch.

Lastly if you like seeing my thoughts on games and how I make stuff for them, here's my monthly newsletter (which now has a free TTRPG thing to take to your table each month): https://meatcastle.substack.com

[frankiensteinsmonster]

ID in Alt Text!

Hey, sorry I haven't been doing my daily outfit posts lately-- I guess I never mentioned why I started them, but it's this personal project that I'm working on where I take a picture (though, in all honesty, it's a lot of pictures lol) in whatever I'm wearing and I feature my cane to promote awareness and give representation to other cane users and members of the cpunk and Physically Disabled community. I'm working on building up the courage to take these pictures outside as well, because I do them on campus, but we deserve to see ourselves outside as well!

The reason I haven't been keeping up with it is because my partner and I have really been really struggling financially as well as with our mental health (and me with my physical health as well, obviously lol) we moved across the country to go to school and it is So Hard-- I had to drop three out of five of my classes because the course work was just too much in volume and I need a job really bad (which is going to be Hard to do since we don't even know why I'm in such chronic pain yet 🙃 it's hard not to feel defeated!)

Either way, I think going to start posting them with the tag #TheVainCanes and #MobilityAidVainity but I'm also going to host a poll for some options bc I want this to be a widespread community thing!

I'm choosing these names because I've seen from both ableds and disabled elitists this idea that we and our mobility aides need to look like they're fresh out the hospital for us to be Believed and deserving of respect, and anything beyond that voids our suffering and invalidates our experiences-- and I think that's reductive, harmful, and just plain wrong! Our mobility aides are an extension of ourselves and we deserve to dress them up however we want. We deserve representation, and the normalization of Joy and Having Personality While Disabled.

This will be intersectional as well (bc. I mean look at me. Also I don't need a reason!) , people from all identities are welcomed and encouraged to join! This is meant to be a celebration of Us, Disabled, BIPOC, LGBTQIA2S+, and All That Jazz! (If you use a mobility aid, you're in!) We're beautiful gorgeous handsome devils and I think we'd do good seeing how good we all look in a designated tag

Also my cash app and Venmo are @/cherubpunque 👀 if anyone has some spare change I could have that would be an amazing help towards feeding me, my partner, and our two cats!!

To kick things off, I am a 2S, Afroindigenous person (Gullah and Kanien'kehá:ka!) who experiences chronic pain and fatigue. I have PTSD and a few other brain things going on, less than perfect eyesight, and a great passion for Art, Music, Subculture, and Helping Others whenever and however I can! I'm majoring in art and am working towards becoming a published graphic novelist. Idk I just have a lot of love and support to give, and a big need for love and support for myself as well, and I'm hoping to offer us a good opportunity for us to connect in a space that's just for us! We're already living outside of society's expectations for health, so why should we let these folks decide the way we look while doing it? Express yourself! (I'll also be tagging myself in future as #mothie so you can find me in the tags! Anyways, I gotta go lay down. My back hurts.)

[not-poignant]

I'm rereading utb and while i def understand and agree with ef being held accountable for things, at the same time, it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions, much less his trauma, without anyone actually explaining or modeling this

Like, everyone constantly brings up the fact that he tried to kill Kadek even once they've acknowledged why and gary is starting a relationship with him while also essentially his prison warden and with how little ef has experienced in the world, especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Idk, I really love this fic so, so much and thank you for writing it and i don't even need a response or anything, I just get defensive of ef when I'm reading sometimes bc he's trying so, so hard basically all the time and it seems like people acknowledge it sometimes in the moment but then don't give him the tools to make it any easier

Answering this one publicly because I know you're not the only one who feels this way or has felt this way!

Okay firstly, some of this conflict I'm evoking in the reader is intentional. I want people to feel defensive of Efnisien. I want people to think 'hey, hang on a minute.' There's a lot of reasons I want that, including the fact that in reality, most people don't recover from being abusive even after they've been in horrifically abusive situations in a vacuum (i.e. the whole world doesn't suddenly stop and become soft as cotton wool just because you've been abused! If you go and interview a whole bunch of people in jail right now, a lot of those folks (especially those who have done repeated serious crimes) will have experienced horrendous and incredibly unfair amounts of abuse, y'know? It's complicated. Yes, they have a right to heal and a right to support. Some of them probably did some pretty awful crimes as well. *coughs*serial killers*coughs*)

Obviously Efnisien is nowhere near that level, but the dissonance remains. He's certainly tried to murder more than one person. But we root for the person whose perspective we're reading. Still, people do not heal in a comfortable vacuum. In fact, most people are asked to be accountable for bad behaviour usually while suffering terribly. Because most people - unless they're certain kinds of extremely rare people - do bad behaviour because they don't know better and/or they're suffering intensely and it can momentarily feel good or satisfying to make other people hurt too.

That's an extremely hard process for the folks who are in that situation. Anyone who has had to recognise they're being a bully, or being abusive, usually goes through a period of time where they can't just immediately change, and what's expected of them seems impossible.

Now to everything else:

This world is a dystopia. There are things happening which aren't going to feel good when you're reading - systemic issues, issues around unfairness - because it's a dystopia. If those things weren't happening, and people just felt blithely comfortable with the entire world, well, that's not actually what I'm going for. There are times it should feel extremely disturbing to read.

So there are times I want readers to feel like things are unfair. There are times I want them to feel very strongly in one person's defense and only later realise the other person was hurt too. There are times I want them to feel like everyone is being unfair to a character. And times when I want folks to feel like the situation just sucks all round. Like, my intention in amongst the hurt/comfort isn't for things to feel easy or nice all the time, I am absolutely challenging the reader by introducing things that feel uncomfortable.

So when folks like yourself tell me this stuff it's like - yeah! It's a dystopia! And - yeah! Unfair things are definitely happening. This is especially true in the beginning when no one really has a concept of how bad things have been for Efnisien, or that he's an alpha. It remains true because no one is perfect. But it happens less often, that's what makes it feel more jarring as the story goes on. If you're rereading it's going to feel worse in the beginning, that's on purpose. The story is doing its job.

it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions

I don't really know what scenes you're specifically referring to here (like, just the first few chapters? The whole story? Temsen's single lecture?), but this is absolutely not the case. I'm going to look at the whole story:

The majority of the time that Efnisien is rude and disrespectful, especially once Efnisien and Gary are living together, Gary mostly ignores him, brushes it off, doesn't react or responds like it's normal dialogue lol. He's not constantly correcting his behaviour and he's not constantly like 'hey rephrase that to be polite' or 'I have feelings too' (maybe he should say the latter sometimes).

Gary is more aware than anyone that he shouldn't be Efnisien's guardian and that he's not a companion. He says this, out loud, to several people, several times. So we know that he knows that the situation isn't great / fair re: Efnisien's care (and frankly his own. Of the two of them, Gary's the one who keeps coming close to potentially dying from the other person's actions).

especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Gary is not Efnisien's psychologist. And psychologists are not doing their jobs on absolutely everyone, 24/7! This one is so important to remember (both in real life and sometimes in fiction). He's categorically not Efnisien's psychologist and it would be even more toxic if he attempted to be this if they were living together!

Gary being a psychologist is his job in the same way being an artist is a job, it's not specifically relevant to their relationship, except that Gary sometimes has better understanding of the root/s of some behaviours.

Ask any psychologist how they live at home and most of them do not want anything to do with their psychology jobs in their personal life, because they're mentally fatigued/tired from talking to people all day. They are not perfect people, they don't have perfect control over their emotions, they aren't teaching everyone the coping mechanisms they need to survive (this takes a lot of labour! It's exhausting! People can't do that 24 hours a day and stay sane. It gets toxic fast.)

The majority of the time Efnisien has extreme emotional responses, Gary just tends to absorb them, acknowledge them, or actively care for him. It's easy to miss these moments because I'm usually not making you feel conflicted about it.

The times Efnisien has extreme emotional responses and then chooses to repeatedly hurt Gary, there are often extreme emotional responses that follow because you know, that's what Efnisien was aiming for! He was trying to severely hurt someone!

Let's move onto Temsen and Efnisien, because this might be more of what you're thinking of, since Gary almost never holds Efnisien accountable tbh. Temsen is a doctor, and a peak alpha who is a leading educator in academic omega rights and theory. He is the first to deeply understand how young alphas left to get away with their smaller abusive behaviours are the kind of alphas who grow up into rapists, murderers and torturers like Christian in Underline the Blue.

(I just want to add, Christian's own abuse and PTSD is real, I don't think any of us are rushing to hold his hand and pat his head, because we sympathise with Nate more than Christian. But Christian has real pain, and real suffering too. He's a great example of how 'you're still accountable for your behaviour though' at its most extreme).

So, Temsen sees Efnisien's behaviour and he lectures and shuts him down like he would any young alpha who is on a really dangerous path. Even within that, he acknowledges himself - out loud - that it's a complicated situation and the time he comes down on Efnisien the hardest, he says the timing is poor. The majority of the time, he shows Efnisien compassion and care, and listens to his opinions, even when they disagree. He is the first to validate his gender both repeatedly in words, and in hormone and medical support. He's the first to change his approach to Efnisien's medical care when Efnisien calls out his lack of respecting his right to privacy, and he's the first to correct Gary about it when Gary expects Temsen to keep giving him information. He offers pragmatic, compassionate advice about many sensitive subjects in Efnisien's life, his health, his secondary gender, his nesting behaviours. And I would say this is how Temsen actually models better behaviour.

Temsen doesn't expect Efnisien to have all of these skills, but Efnisien has to be told what he's doing wrong and how that's not acceptable behaviour and how he's hurting people, to start learning those skills! Otherwise why would anyone bother? Vindictively hurting other people in moments of rage can feel satisfying for folks who aren't being held accountable.

You say no one is modelling better behaviour to Efnisien so I'm just going to pose some questions that are rhetorical:

How many alphas at HIllview are mounting or torturing Efnisien every day? Does Efnisien have choices in what he eats? Is Efnisien's opinion listened to more and more, especially in matters of his health? Do they care about his pain and offer him painkillers when he's suffering? Are the characters in the story trying to enrich his experiences and help him to become a more mature person by helping him overcome his fears of things like going outside? Are the characters deliberately trying to expand his support network by helping him see new people and lean on them for help, instead of keeping him in a box and forbidding him from seeing anyone? While also taking into account the safety of others?

Are the characters largely gender affirming once they learn more about Efnisien?

Are the characters actively teaching Efnisien social sciences to help him understand more about the world and human rights, which includes his own rights?

Do the characters acknowledge that Hillview isn't an ideal place for Efnisien, just a good place for now?

Do the characters want Efnisien to have a future where he's happier?

Do the characters allow Efnisien to have his emotional responses as long as they're not also abusive responses? For example, is Efnisien allowed to cry, nest, seek comfort, or even be angry, provided he's not being domestically violent? (The answer is yes).

Do the characters to the best of their ability explain things clearly and maintain their own boundaries around Efnisien to remind him that he can also maintain his own boundaries?

Are Efnisien's wishes largely respected where possible? (The answer here is also yes - such as refusing internal exams with Temsen, or having control over what he does most days and how he spends his time etc.)

Can Efnisien see lots of examples of people talking civilly to each other and often with great care, and not being abusive to each other? Can he see alternative forms of conflict resolution, management and repair?

Is Efnisien offered opportunities to repair rifts that he's created himself, after being cruel to someone?

This is just a start, but these people through these behaviours are already role-modelling a ton of better behaviours than anything Efnisien has been exposed to in the past. And we can see that Gary himself role models a lot of these things to Efnisien directly, including apologising frequently and quickly when he realises he's made mistakes. This is how Efnisien learned to apologise! And he literally has thoughts like 'Gary does this / so I guess I should do it too.' That's literally role modelling a behaviour :D

Gary's actually a pretty good role model, and the only reason Efnisien's behaviour starts to improve at Hillview as well as his quality of life is because Gary and Temsen are role modelling these behaviours.

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Efnisien isn't literally a prisoner in his current relationship!

I feel like when folks identify really strongly with a character, it's very easy to miss the times when Gary and Temsen for example brainstorm ways for Efnisien not to live with Gary. Aside from at the very beginning, these characters have actually talked about - in the story, in dialogue - options for Efnisien to not live with Gary.

Like they literally talk about making Efnisien a new room in the headquarters and possibly even building him his own building down the track so he doesn't have to be with Gary! As they trust Efnisien more, they offer many options to him. As the story goes on, they are absolutely not forcing Efnisien to stay with Gary, and nor is Gary. Efnisien himself communicates clearly that he would rather live with Gary than be on his own. This is something that gets checked in on, and more than one option is given to him.

Missing this is understandable, it's a long story, but it also means it's not true that Efnisien is a prisoner in that he's being forced to live with Gary. That's only true in the beginning when they literally think he's just a murderer/attempted murderer who's going to kill everyone at Hillview. As the story progresses, it shifts to 'well he's not a murderer, what are his other options?'

Can Efnisien live a free life wherever he wants? No. That's where the 'dystopian universe' tag comes in. He's not safe to, but Hillview staff wouldn't be concerned with educating him and teaching him independence if they didn't want him to live as independently as possible one day. It's not like Gary has to try to get Efnisien comfortable with going outside and experiencing the outside world, and it's not like he has to encourage Efnisien to meet omegas and betas etc. to hear different opinions, y'know?

But yeah the role modelling is happening: Efnisien's showing more and more tools in coping all the time! He's been growing them since the beginning of the fic. He's learned to communicate better. He's learned how to articulate what he wants and doesn't want more clearly. He's learned how to care more for others even if he often misses that he has the power to really hurt them. He's learned more (not less) confidence. He's having less (not more) trauma responses. He's learned how to trust in the people around him more, so he's starting to talk more about his experiences of gender. He's learned that what he went through was wrong, and is sharing more about the abuse he suffered.

These things would not be happening in a story where people weren't giving him the tools to cope with his life or weren't showing him ways to communicate differently.

The reason Efnisien talks more clearly and articulately now in the story, the reason he laughs more, cries more (which is more open/honest imho and healthier than repressing it), talks more, talks about his past more, expresses his opinion more is because Hillview has been equipping him with more tools to live a richer life pretty much as soon as they realised he's not going to just murder people at the drop of a hat.

In some ways they're showing more trust than our society would because like, attempted murder could land him in jail for a while in our society, y'know?

The reason they haven't paired him with an actual psychologist is that they don't have any peak alpha psychologists and Efnisien can use alpha persuasion on anyone else, and would certainly get angry enough in therapy to use it. We only need to look at how Efnisien responded to Dr Gary in Falling Falling Stars sometimes in therapy sessions to see that yes, this is a guy who - if he had the tool of alpha persuasion - would absolutely use it to get a therapist to shut the fuck up when he felt like it, lol.

But yeah, as always, if folks are feeling really uncomfortable when reading something I've written, it's often intentional. You're right, Efnisien's situation is unfair. A few of the specifics you've brought up aren't true, and have missed things in the story, but it's still not a fair experience, it's not always a pleasant experience, and it's...pretty dystopian!

When we get really deep into our emotional connection to a character, it can still help to remember that the situation often isn't exactly the same as it feels. But this story also has the tags: darkfic / disturbing themes / dystopian universe for a reason! The visceral discomfort is a feature, not a bug.

[ragnarokhound]

hello i came here from ao3 which makes this kinda feel like i’m following a coworker home and letting myself into their house but i’ve been rereading all your jaytim fics yet again and am! not! normal about it! and i just wanted to say that i love love love the way you write jason so much. it’s also really fun starting with your first jaytim fic that’s more like general fanon jason and tim and then following the ways you flesh both of them out so much as you write more. i feel like the true jaytim shipper arc is using tim as the self insert at first bc jason hot but then realizing jason is the one with issues that kind of make him the best to dig into and chew on and yeah. i just really really love how you write him and i wanted to let you know! ah! ok bye!

HI?? I'M GONNA CRY???

omg okay first of all-- first of all, THANK YOU for letting yourself into my house, i left the key under the mat on purpose so that folks from ao3 could come in whenever and rummage through my fridge and chat about jay and tim and jaytim over tea and charcuterie with me, so, sincerely, thank you for fulfilling that dream for me <333

second of all, ah? aaahhh?? aaaahhhHHH???? I am the one who is not normal actually! Hearing that you're rereading ALL of my jaytim fics? TuT THANK YOU omg, I'm so happy that you like my evolving take on Jason!! Because you are very right - I barely knew who Tim and Jason were when I first started writing fic of them, and was (w)riding high on DEEPLY HORNY VIBES ALONE. Coming from Teen Wolf and Sterek, I think it's quite obvious how my fandom pipeline got me to that first fic lmao >.>

(popping some rambling about characters & writing under the cut:)

Tim is such a fun character, but I do find him more personally relatable, and I find Jason more personally attractive, fjdslfjsa so YEAH. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. My motto is, as ever, "Tim Drake gets what I want, and what I want is Jason Todd" so while I find writing Tim POV to be the most comfortable, I find Jason more fun to obsessively write about. I think about Jason a lot because, to me, Tim is also thinking about Jason a lot U_U You can really see the turning point where I started thinking about Jason as a character more fjdlsfjafd

(that dog fic was a distraction from an as of yet unfinished Friends w/Benefits -> Lovers WIP from Jason's POV... maybe someday I'll finish you...)

Jason is so cool (/literary /he's actually a dork). He has a lot of mixed emotions and motives and confusing traumas and life events to navigate. His death is one of THE most important moments in comic book history, a decisive turning point in tone and theme, and people just can't help themselves when it comes to him and that moment (and the crowbars. christ. how many times are we going to hand jason a crowbar and expect him to want to use it fdjslfsa I DIGRESS).

You can write Jason a lot of ways, because how do you even react to that? How do you even come to terms with your literal death and resurrection and the messy mcfreaking history you left behind and then came back to? It's believable when Jason is edgy and sexy and volatile, THE Bad Boy of the already Bad Boy Batman franchise - but it's equally believable when he's just a scared, secretly dorky kid who came back to a family that moved on without him, his murderer still out there and killing people who aren't lucky (?) enough to have cosmic connections. Even better to me when he's both lol

OKAY i'm done i swear, but you followed me home, you signed up for this lmao

THANK YOU AGAIN, omg, I remember your comments on ao3 too, thank you SO much for your kind words, both over there and now over here!! <33 TTuTT You're gonna make me waterworks, dude ;A; <333

[liquidstar]

do u have any recs for folks newer to the yuri genre? I've never really read any manga other than shounen and some magical girl stuff

Omg i can totally give yuri recs. (And which ones to stay away from. Sakura Kiss has cousin shit in it, Citrus has stepsister dubcon, Dragon Maid has lolicon, Happy Sugar Life is also lolicon but it’s edgy about it and tries to act like this makes it deep, we can do better)

Anyway here’s my actual recs! I'm going to give details but if you don't wanna read them I bolded all the titles.

YuriKuma Arashi (By Ikuhara of Revolutionary Girl Utena fame), is about lesbian bears. But it’s actually a metaphor for the simultaneous objectification and demonization of lesbians, the expectation both for purity and predation. There are some nitpicks I have with it like the sexualization being a bit too much to bring the point home, but overall I do like its themes and its message. And I think the ending pulls everything together really nicely. There is both a manga and an anime, and I believe the anime came first. I’ve only seen the anime so I’m not sure if/how the manga deviates!!!! 

Bloom Into You is an absolute must. Like, for real, I think it’s one of the best romances out there, yuri or otherwise. It gets really deep into both characters' respective psyches and the ways that they’re both Very Screwed Up when it comes to love and romance, or really just life in general. Giving details would be doing them a disservice honestly. Both characters are very messy but also do try their best to genuinely communicate, and what comes of that is a lot of teenage lesbian drama, but the growth they both experience though it TOGETHER is just great, and you can tell they care about each other so much.

Okay this one I’m not really recommending for the good writing, it’s more-so just really cool. Liberta (EXPLICIT) is a series about a vampire who can turn her body into guns and a human woman who is sick of being seen as lesser in her ordinary life. And then they fall in love and are vampires together. The artstyle and character designs are awesome and it has some really cool fight scenes. However it also has full blown barely censored sex scenes. A few of them. One of the women uses her tail at some point. If that’s not what your cup of tea is, give it a pass. 

Anyway for something more wholesome you should check out The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All, which I’m actually not fully caught up on bc life, but has still been a super fun read so far. It’s about a girl who works at a music store, and her classmate who gets a crush on her while she’s at work. The classmate doesn’t realize that they’re the same person, due to her looking different at work, and thinks her worksona is a guy. Hijinks ensue. 

Otherside Picnic is also highly recommended. Its manga adaptation is lagging behind the light novel, which I can’t find a translation of online (But if anyone can help me out w that 🙏). The story itself is about two college students who go on adventures to a parallel plane of reality, which contains cosmic horrors who can only communicate with humans through fear so intense it will make you go insane. They’re also looking for someone who went missing, and gain cool powers like Ghost Hand and Sans Eye. Yes this is still a yuri series and it’s also really really extremely fucking cool. 

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat, is a slice of life story about… Well exactly what it says. A woman with a passion for cooking, making lots of food and sharing it with her neighbor, and they end up bonding through this. It’s also like, cool to see a big butch woman for a change! The story itself is very straightforward but I love watching the relationship progress as well as the mc question her sexuality. This story will absolutely make you super hungry though.

Show Me Your Bust (EXPLICIT) is also exactly what it says on the tin, though it’s technically a webtoon. Again this is a series with explicit sex scenes, but it actually does have a story and actual depth to its characters. Honestly there’s a lot to unpack with all of them and a lot of the relationships aren’t totally healthy but it’s a drama so that’s the point. 

A Monster Wants To Eat Me is actually hard to describe without spoilers. It’s about a girl who lives by the sea, meeting a mysterious girl with eyes that remind her of the ocean itself. The girl says that she’s actually been looking for the mc for a long time, and it’s revealed that….

And lastly I wanna mention Hanamonogatari, a story about an old widow who begins to regain confidence in herself as she experiments with make-up with the help of another old lady who works at a local cosmetic store. Honestly it’s very very very sweet, it’s rare to get romances like this of old women when so much of the focus of romances (yuri or otherwise) is often on the characters being attractive. I also really appreciate how the make-up is being used specifically to accentuate their wrinkles. Not hide them. Because aging is beautiful too. Sadly IVE ONLY READ TWO CHAPTERS BECAUSE I DONT THINK THE REST ARE TRANSLATED IF ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HELP ME PLEASE DO 🙏

[dephirium]

Dephi's predictions.

Hello. A bunch of people a lot smarter than me have already analyzed aspects of the prologue but I am bored and I want to get my thoughts out. General who I think survives or kills, ideas of what is going to happen, questions set up, directions of character arcs — That kind of stuff. It is just word vomit.

This is going to age like milk fast, I bet (I wrote this after the prologue was released). Also warning I have bad memory so correct me if I got a fact wrong or something, I rewatched the prologue sleep deprived so I am bound to make mistakes.

Spoilers for the prologue and stuff. Duh...

Also beware swearing, unfunny humor and the obligatory ''I am not above biases and personal taste'' warning.

Holy shit this took a while to make.

Miscellaneous hopes / guesses

(Considering the game's heavy ties with religion, here's a small blurb on that) I am not into religion and I have enough religious trauma as is but I think it would be very cool if there was a trial that paralleled the Ark of Noe situation; Someone saving only themselves, who god has deemed worthy, and leaving the sinners to drown is kind of similar to the death game premise. Also a case paralleling the Adam & Eve situation would be a neat but obvious pick considering the game's emphasis on it in their symbolism and themes. Just. The murders having some kind of tie-in with religion itself would be so interesting even if only on subtext.

Wonder why they didn't try to break the windows in the whole ‘Panicking bcs the gas’ bit (I mean yes it is necessary for the narrative for the characters to be put unconscious but it seems weird that nobody even attempted it or addressed it after-the-fact, nonetheless. Specially considering that they specifically addressed how helmet-wearing Jett was knocked out). Though Damon was very quick to fall, so maybe they did try it after he was knocked unconscious. Ah also it is very unlikely they were out for more than a day or two (because there are actually a lot of semantics involved in taking care of someone who is unconscious / unresponsive — and none of them are pretty y'all). Or maybe they did. Who knows with Danganronpa logic /shrug

Also the train was mentioned to be worse for wear than expected. Chekov's gun tells me it wasn't the actual train for Eden's Academy and they just yoinked the cast before the real one could arrive. As to the people Grace saw, it is likely that they were the mastermind group (The paintings depict many animals which could mean a group instead of a individual / the deadass confirmation we get with the tree of ignorance folk), hence why the knocking agent was planted beforehand.

What if Eden's garden is literally just a facade for talent yoinkers to kidnap and make ppl kill each other and who survives gets roped into the group lol. /hj

THE FUCK IS THE LIQUID ON THE BASEMENT??? It is not water, as it appears to be non-conductive, is way too much to seem like oil... Just. That whole sequence in the boiler room was so fucking weird, man. Is it water but doesn't touch any electrical wiring (Despite, I believe, the cables being mentioned as exposed)? is it NOT water? WHY IS THIS RELEVANT. IS THE DEATH GAME BEING HOSTED CLOSE TO WATER?

How fucking long did Damon and Eva take to get to the kitchen lol? Because they saw Akire on the floor (That was Akire, right? I remember the shoes looking like formal-wear...) and bee-lined to the kitchen afterward. Even supposing that canonically Damon checked every basement door to spite Eva (which isn't very long because Damon kind of gets bored after a bit of checking each room / is actually very on character so probably he did thinking about it), that leaves like... 10 minutes, tops. It just reads as weird in my opinion. Wonder if that is going to be mentioned later on.

I saw the walkthrough because my laptop had a aneurysm trying to load the game, but like. The tree of ignorance room has these... Egyptian hieroglyphs (?) Looking things that make me think that that's what going to open after each chapter / death. They look like mall stores what the fuck is this place (also it appears to have a second floor for what I remember ?)

Mara and Cara are very similar names. Wonder if they are related or something (they also both share a motif of guns) lol.

It is very likely that this isn't the first killing game, as per Cara's situation. However, it is very likely that it was a student council situation (meaning a "no trial just kill each other'' kind of deal), which would explain why Cara had a gun (because so far we haven't seen anywhere on the killing game ground that has access to fire weapons) and how the fuck the killer got away with such a simple killing plan.

Also considering the fact that all the cast calls Cara's murderer a man (idk why if gender neutral pronouns exist but ok) and that Tozu exists, it could be likely that he was Cara's murderer, and he won his killing game. or something. This also could explain why Tozu wanted them to solve how the culprit did it and not who the culprit is — He probably already knows who it was.

Considering what I said about Mara and Cara being similar, it kind of fits. That or he's related to a character of the cast. Maybe Wolfgang, considering his sheep-adjacent mask. Or both idk

It is very unlikely there's a mastermind amongst the students (kind of duh considering Tozu's whole ordeal, but still). However that doesn't remove the possibility of a traitor.

Speaking of, the death game grounds seem... Small? Like sure there's the living quarters, the "outside" and the tree of ignorance and they are somewhat big in their own right, but it just feels. Small in the context of official Danganronpa games. It is likely a engine limitation / self-imposed limitation for the devs sanity, probably, because doing a bigger environment would be more troublesome, but nonetheless I'm excited to see how they utilize the space. Maybe the areas that will open up in the tree of ignorance will help freshen things up.

GUESSES I HAVE FOR KILLING THINGS:

The locks in the living grounds are likely to become relevant in a trial (Probably the first), likely locking the cast out while the murderer is still inside? For what I remember the people who woke up on the tree of ignorance are not aware of the locks existence (Living quarters / outsiders are, however - Toshiko used them after all) and that could be weaponizable information in the trial.

I am super sure a death happens in the outside's fancy marble thingy and it will be beautiful and tragic.

Damon Maitsu

The vent connecting the boiler room to the kitchen is SO fucking obviously to be used as a killer's escape route I almost expect it to not be used just to spite us.

Start of prologue: Togami kinnie?

End of prologue: DAMON STOP UNLEASHING YOUR INNER TOGAMI GODDAMMIT

I have seen people speculating that Damon is going to die and there's going to be a Kaede / Shuichi protag switch, but honestly? I don't really see that happening considering the prologue already set up a very interesting character arc for him. BUT, I do see likely that there's a Komaeda chapter 4 situation where there's a POV switch for a bit with either Eva or Akire, most likely Eva because of her status as co-protag and/or sidekick.

Nonetheless, it is obvious that Damon is going to go through a character arc so he stops being such an ass to people. I love the guy but yes he needs to be knocked down that unhealthy mindset of his.

Because of his isolation from his peers it is likely that his motives to kill, if there are any, are family driven (It is also likely the fuck has heavy family issues because he kins togami too hard and that asshole didn't have a good relationship with his parents neither) the killing motives are likely to give us the context as to what nurtured this fuck’s god/inferiority complexes. Also because of this he would have the "protag doesn't have that big an incentive to kill" motive detachment like mister I Pissed The Bed Makoto Naegi.

Also people who are unable to see a nuanced / different take on the protagonist like Damon or Teruko on Despair Time without calling them names or misreading their characters pisses me off SO much, specially with Damon (Teruko is a different can of worms I am not opening today tyvm) because I am able to sympathize with him as someone ND who at some point decided to isolate from others and put this front of being a purely logical zero puny emotions individual because logic was just easier than facing complicated emotions I wasn't taught how to express and / or would be berated for. He's a interesting character a great deviation of the goody-two-shoes protagonist trope. I can't wait to see what they do with him and see him suffer and earn friendships with the cast.

Eva Tsukasa

I could go into detail but I am not that eloquent and other people have talked about it better. Here is a blurb-analysis of Damon in general and here is a analysis of him through the neurodivergent lens. Any opinion I have about the bastard is vocalized better by those two ngl (Eternity's Damon fics are also very good!) . I'll probably do my own separate blog about him if I have the energy, but I feel like I would just repeat points made better by other people.

Start of prologue: Pls don't be Kirigiri

End of prologue: PLS DON'T BE KOKICHI

Eva had a rough beginning because the first impression she gave was Kirigiri kinnie vibes and fun fact i fucking hated kirigiri on dr1 so i wasn't liking where this was going. That changed around 5 dialogues in with her saying she bridal carried Damon, which made me less prone to hate her on pure instinct. She's interesting! I like her a lot. I like the way that she and Damon share their pessimistic pragmatism and are the only two to shut down the whole buddy-buddy prospect; They both are very similar in a lot of ways, almost like character foils (but not quite — That's Akire) in a certain way. I cannot wait to see what they do with her talent, one of the most interesting ones I have seen in any fangan (though I do find it kinda dumb and a bit on the nose in a light hearted way).

Now onto the biased opinions — I think they shoot her shot way too early. While, yes, I found it very interesting that they didn't beat around the bush and didn't do the "ult ???" thing (I kinda find that troupe obnoxious at this point), I do view the fact that Eva's ultimate was revealed this early a very odd writing choice (and the reveal a bit clunky in personal writing taste). A good way to create intrigue and tension since the prologue to get the audience hooked, but I do wonder how do they plan to utilize her and this early reveal. In fact, if anything, this early reveal and her Eve motif - who doomed both her and Adam out of heaven's gates, and is literally implied to be bad since her conception out of Adam's left rib - make me wonder if she's being set up in a Rantaro fashion, and she'll be the reason the game starts (probably victim). I kinda hope not. She's an interesting character even if I believe that the most relevant part of her narrative was given far too early (although I do want to know how tf is Liar an ultimate talent).

Diana Venicia

Start of prologue: animal crossing character core

End of prologue: ... Are you a traitor lol?

She's a sweetheart and I don't trust it. With her sweet persona and her chameleon theming, she just screams killer red flags to me. I am unsure when exactly would she crack, but I think it would be kind of early on, like chapter 1-3 type of early. I think bears mention that everyone and their mom has called out the fact that Kara's dummy is way too realistic and her talent would enable to pull out that feat.

I don't see her being a particularly important blackened on the grand scheme of the narrative (unless she's in kahoots and she's like a traitor or whatever) but it would serve to show everyone the severity of the environment and how even the nicest person can crack against it.

The idea of yassifying a corpse to hide/obfuscate details of the cause of death or whatever is literally so so cool and I want it to happen so bad. But her and Kai's possible blackened situations (spoiler I do view both as killers as it makes the most thematic sense) seem a little too similar so probably if one is a killer the other will not.

Toshiko Kayura

Start of prologue: Hiyoko looking ass

End of prologue: Is your mouth fucked girlie

SIMILARLY, I don't trust the child. I am not sure why. She's good tho! I find her interesting enough for the setting and the prologue has set up enough with her character that I look forward whatever they want to do with her (and her formal way of speech is charming haha). I just hope it isn't a generic ''oh the kid is actually insane lol'' kind of deal as I am honestly tired of the Monaka twist, but I do see her being traitor adjacent at the very least. I don't see her killing (or, well, I hope™ she doesn't kill) but I can see her as a victim, probably in around chapters 3-4. I think the cast would try to be careful with her because she is the youngest of the group and that ends up being, partially, one of the reasons of her death. Everyone will be horrified if she does die.

Drawing it in the sand that her parents hated each other or something (or divorced), one had a meltdown and hurt her for whatever reason, hence why she uses her fan on her mouth. It'll probably become relevant later in her respective trial. Also this is the reason why she's a matchmaker.

Something something the bible story of Abraham being told by god to kill his child Isaac to prove his faith something

Cassy + Wenona

Start of prologue: Communism? / YOU'RE SO PRETTY

End of prologue: Oh so MrBeast then / Step on me!

Putting these two together because 1) I don't have much to say about them and 2) they are probably being used as character foils of one another so because of that my thoughts about them are interconnected. Here's my opinions of them:

Cassidy is... Okay. I like her well enough, she had her witty lines (the ace attorney reference was fun), and she feels cohesive enough for the setting and the other characters to not feel entirely out of place. Nonetheless, she is somewhat... irrelevant? Like, all her cards were played on the prologue itself, and there's no real way I can see her character becoming more relevant on the future or have any interesting development; She is a fun character, but not one I find interesting or relevant for the narrative. More like needing to fill lines because people need to die, probably. Her theming with spiders and that one sprite can prove me wrong, tho. Not saying she will kill, but that probably there's something else I am missing? (Addendum: this has taken me so long to write I had time to sit on my thoughts on Cassidy and I realized I kinda don't like how offhandedly mean she is lol. You know. Calling Damon bargain bin lawyer like that isn't an insult to his entire line of work and personhood and disguising it as a joke and all lmao. Wonder if this will be called out further down the line? Could be an interesting point of development for a otherwise stagnant character)

Wenona is interesting! Her design caught my eye since the train fuckery, and it made me deeply interested in her (also I like women so I am biased probably lol) and what her talent would be. While I kind of don't see how her appearance would convey the “ult entrepreneur” title all too well, I do forgive it because otherwise it is so fucking interesting and I am absolutely obsessed (and it's not fault of the writing and probably just personal taste of mine). Her possible character arc is a lot more obvious than Cassidy's, and ironically mirror Damon's "stop treating people like shit" own (Damon asking what is her deal when they are both assholes about talent and worth is very funny). I hope we get more information about her job and how she got where she is now are revealed because I am genuinely interested in her character trajectory and the parallels to the protagonist. Or maybe she stays in girlboss mode idk I wouldn't mind either way she can step on me regardless

I guess that in around chapter 2-3 Cassidy and Wenona are going to start to clash badly because of their different economic ideals (they probably clash on chapt 1 too but it is after a murder that things get worse as everyone becomes paranoid as hell). My guess is that they either end up killing each other or someone else uses the animosity to frame the kill on one of them.

I see Wenona having more chances of survival because so far Cassidy is kind of a (relatively) flat comedic character and doesn't have that many notes of character development / interesting said pieces. But I wouldn't be against her surviving to be honest. She's fun.

Grace Maddison

Start of prologue: SOYBEAN

End of prologue: You're literally a pacing risk huh

She's... a mixed bag. For one part, I like the fact that she raised a valid point in the trial despite the fact that she has been considered nothing more than the hotheaded, "stupid" vulgar one of the group. It gives her a decent amount of depth so far and makes me interested to see more of her. In the other... She's like disguised-Mukuro in dr1 for me, ngl. She's interesting, I can admit that, but definitely not a character I get too excited about (she's a bit annoying to me). Except I worry about how are they going to deal with her on trials, considering the fact that they had to literally knock her out on the mock trial so it could progress in a decent pacing (Which I kinda called out when I first saw her in the kitchen, but I thought she would've been a mukuro situation, details). Or maybe she dies first, which would be a shame ngl.

Wolfgang Akire

As she stands she seems to me like a pacing-risk character and it makes me worry about how they are going to use her going forward, although the fact that she was literally almost killed will probably chill her the fuck out while on trial. I just hope the writers manage to balance the fact that she's vulgar but not stupid as fuck. Oh and her and Akire's dynamic is very funny I love that

Trailer: Oh you get pegged™

Start of prologue: [Lost my shit laughing when I found he was called Wolfgang lol]

End of prologue: Unhinged bitch!! /pos

I like the parallelism of him and Damon! The attorney and the prosecutor, emotions and logic, the leader of the group (seemingly) and the social pariah. Akire is a character that works because in any other Danganronpa setting, he would be the protagonist. But the thing is this: He is not, here. This allows us to see raw sides of him that otherwise we wouldn't have — or that, in turn, we would have context for.

The mock trial meltdown works because we, as an audience, are seeing him through another person's (probably biased) perspective. The lack of interpersonal context of his thoughts or actions makes the slip of his calm demeanor to yelling—begging, almost—for reasoning of the killer's actions all the more jarring.

Anyhow thesis out of the way here are more thoughts:

This set up could not be achieved without Akire being the role he is, an antagonist for the mere factor that his entire existence is an antithesis of Damon's persona. But unlike the debater, who hides the fact that he cares and craves human connection, the lawyer hides a far uglier underside that he doesn't expose unless he is in familiar territory — His area of expertise, in fact — The courtroom. Quite literally, his territory, his area of expertise, his playground; He is confident in his abilities until he is quite literally denied the closure he craves for a killer's despicable actions against a ultimate.

In more ways than one, he, like Damon, probably has a god complex because of his title / the ultimates. He just demonstrates it... Subtly. He is the textbook example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Akire ends up killing I am like 70% sure of this. He's too unhinged, and we never had a rival who did commit a murder themselves on DR so it would be interesting? (Kokichi doesn't count). Also the "28 STAB WOUNDS" man committing a murder himself would be a interesting prospect, with the wolf in sheep's clothing themes he has going on; Specially considering that he is most likely going to become one of the surrogate leaders of the class.

Calling him out as the killer would probably generate a Mikan-esque situation (Not like Kai's levels of bad but more born out of respect and lie-ridden logic than pity/empathy hard emotion bait) of nobody believing Damon and it sounds fun. It would be an interesting prospect considering Damon's possible "getting people to trust me after isolating myself and overcome my own biases" character arc. What better way to make a climax for such than to go against the leader of the group and getting people to trust you despite the odds?

Oh also it is very likely a relative of his (probably his dad) killed a important woman in his life (probably his mom. Or like, someone else killed her and was never caught or something idk pick your poison mom dead either way) and that's why he became a lawyer / has such strong sense of justice and the reason why he had that more-or-less breakdown on the mock trial.

Some other stuff I won't go into detail

This is the dump of other things I wanted to mention but I am too low energy to dwell onto and I don't want to procrastinate on this draft more than I already have (ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THIS)

Anyhow:

I view that Kai would also be a killer, using his charisma in the same way Diana would (in a very Mikan way, as he's used to playing his audience like a fiddle and fishing out emotional responses) but in a more hardcore manner. That and the fact that Kai has latched to Damon from the first second of the prologue, it's probably setting up the fact that Damon will need to bring down Kai for the sake of the truth - and probably the first example of hesitance as Damon will probably grow to be "friends" with the guy, having to fight puny emotions he never had before (not particularly romantic, but like. Damon purposefully isolated from peers, so having friends would be odd to him, especially since I think that Kai is getting close to him for self interest). I deem this happening very late, and probably a chapter before Akire kills, as it would be a decent pacing from progression of severity ("friend" social person using the group -> the literal leader of the class)

Jett and Mark are also being set up as foils to each other (or at least the closest thing to that. A really pronounced character dynamic I guess), and the fact that just like Toshiko's mouth Jett off the suit is not shown in the prologue nor any outside material makes it obvious that it'll be a plot point later down the line (if I recall the most popular theory - or maybe mentioned in the prologue, I don't remember - is that he got burned to hell in a car accident mid race?), which makes me think that Jett is not going to be a survivor for the same manner - specially since those two are in the path of having a character arc together and the tragedy of demise needs to be written. Mark is maaaybe going to survive in his stead. Similar to Cassy, Jett reads to me as a comedy character mostly so he's more expendable in that regard. Without mentioning the fact that Mark had the bitchface(tm) look in the train scene, which implies that something is going on with the guy (either referent to the train/the kidnap group, or Mark knows Damon from somewhere. It'd be funny if they were classmates or someshit and Mark couldn't stand Damon's ass back then please p:eg team it would be so funny)

Jean has so many death flags (WHY ARE YOU SWEARING TO PROTECT THE GROUP YOU ARE THE BIG CHARACTER IN A FANGAN YOU'RE NOT SAFE) and I am literally so fucking sad because I actually really like the guy. Like, I don't have any relevant notes of how he's written or implied of him or anything (although I have personal thoughts of his backstory which I included in the fic I made of Damon and the guy), he's a decent character. I just wanted to scream about the fact that I am 80% sure he doesn't survive and I will forever cry about it. Same with Ingrid.

Ulysses is being set up as relevant as a notekeeper (which is really cool!!!! I haven't seen that in a fangan before I don't think), but I sadly do think that anything relevant from his notes might be discovered post-mortem, either relevant to the killing game as a whole or the case that might have him as a victim. My dude is literally falling asleep standing I am deadass so worried for his safety.

I don't have anything remarkable to say about desmond or swan girl (I forgot her name sorry) besides the fact that swan girl is being kinda set up as the "oh the cinnamon roll killed someone", and "the shy girl is actually very dangerous" which I am not particularly mad about even if I deem a bit cliché at this point. I hope Desmond doesn't die tho he is cool.

That's everything. Sorry for taking forever on this shit I am not the greatest writing consistently

[mrsnancywheeler]

Ok I’m back with the songs 🫡

I can’t remember if anyone else has mentioned this, but finnick/sweet girl are very much giving this is me trying by miss blondie herself

—————— 

I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting” “And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad. I have a lot of regrets about that”

This reminded me a lot about their recent argument at the end of chapter 6, where sweet girl called him a liar and accused him of purposely playing mind games with her :(

—————— 

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

THIS MIGHT JUST BE FINNICKS ENTIRE INNER MONOLOGUE AFTER THEY BROKE UP #IDK !! OR !! HIS THOUGHTS DURING READER’S GAMES! How he has to keep up appearances and his playboy persona to make sure his sweet girl gets sponsors, but he’s actually feeling so much grief and stress. 

—————— 

Another song they remind me of is  Wasteland, Baby! But specifically:

“I’m in love, I'm in love with you. And I love too, that love soon might end. Be known in its aching”

Just reminded me about how they’re meant to go through tragedy :(( 

—————— 

BONUS SONGS!

we can't be friends (wait for your love) by Ariana Grande’s SCREAMS young!reader going through the breakup with Finnick :((

—————— 

“We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again. Wait for your love”

Just her initial reaction to the breakup and how she still loves him :((

—————— 

“I don't like how you paint me, yet I'm still here hanging”

“Me and my truth, we sit in silence. Baby girl, it's just me and you. ‘Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite my tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die. You got me misunderstood, but at least I look this good” This reminds me of when Finnick was saying all those things he didn’t mean about his sweet girl, and although she’s hurt by it she still loves him (and deep down she knows he doesn’t mean it!)

—————— 

And Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray is so them coded like PLEASE mainly about how reader keeps rejecting any comfort because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it + how she was afraid to voice that she wants said comfort during her hijacking

—————— 

“Wellin' up in tears as I lay upon your belly. Telling you, ‘I’m fine I don't really need nobody,’ But you say through a sigh that I said that lie already”

Need I say more. 

—————— 

“And even if I cry all over your body. You don't really mind. Say you like your shirt soggy.”

This could go for both Finnick and Reader! About how they both feel guilty for receiving comfort from the other person (Finnick bc he wants to give comfort too, and Reader bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it)

—————— 

I hope this isn’t too long hehe but these were my #thoughts. I’m a yapper at heart <3 lmk what you think!!

BUT SIDENOTE I SAW HADESTOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT W JORDAN FISHER AND !! His performance was fr giving me finnick vibes bc he was really giving that obsessed yearner vibe IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT LOL but it was so good!!

-🦅

buckle up folks because I love a lot to say 🫡❤️

this is me trying is so them, like very heavily

they're both really at their core such sunshiney people who've been so broken down and used by the world that they've really been dulled. and reader is always quick to bite back, especially when she's scared or frustrated or doesn't want to reveal her emotions, she doesn't have a complete grasp on reality yet, she's scared of being left behind, scared that finnick will die, scared of being alone and frustrated that he broke his promise to her so she lashes out.

110% to both of those, like he's so broken up, aching for her, in pain, blaming himself for everything, but he has to be what's expected of him. some drinks, laughing, flirting, smiling, when all he wants to do his curl up in bed crying as he holds into some remant of hers that he held onto all this time.

in the context of the most recent chapter "I just wanted you to know that this is me trying" is so very much both of them for different reasons

finnick says the things he does and does what he does because he wants to help her get better, to be delicate with her, keep her safe, keep her protected from the dangers of the time and her mental state. he's trying his hardest even if he doesn't always handle it in ways that bode well.

reader is trying to be herself again, she just wants to be treated normally regardless of how that affects her. once she's her she'll be less paranoid, more trusting, she's trying so hard to replicate that so she can get there and feels like he's not letting her. that her attempts are being shut down.

they are the tragic lovers, so in love, so obsessed, and constantly fated for hurt after hurt. all I'm saying is to watch moulin rouge and think of them because it's so finnick and his sweet girl in another life.

LITERALLY THOUGH if she could've she would've followed him around like a lost puppy dog, it would have fed into the narrative about her, but she's so desperately in love that she would have waited so patiently. in a way she did, but if he'd told her he was breaking up with her for other girls she was so young and so already achingly in love with him that she would have kept trailing around waiting for him to come baxk

(side note, finnick is really the love sick puppy, but reader reminds me of a stray cat who picks someone to love, always waits to be fed by them. given a little bit of attention and now will be attached for the long run. I thought googles description was really funny because it's just so her "With time and patience, a stray cat may trust you and want pets consistently. If you have grown close to a stray cat, it may feel upset or distressed if you suddenly leave it." so yeah she's a stray cat who finally got some love before being suddenly stranded again)

ANYWAYS yes, the way he talks about her and paints the portrait of their relationship is so hurtful. she totally cries about it consistently because to her he's perfect, and although she largely wants to believe what he said when they broke up and trust he still loves her, a part of her can't help but feel so stupid for letting herself be lead on by someone who's been said to be a playboy anyway. it makes her so insecure, so much more guarded, but she doesn't hate him, no she could never. she's in love with him. no matter what he says or does she's long placed her roots and won't tear them up.

that's literally the most them interaction to have never ever interacted, some of her tears have welled up, she's choking on pushed down sobs, and insisting that she's okay even though Finnick can read her like a book. he's softly scolding her for lying while she continues to try and insist until she's completely broken down into sobs.

reader could have the roughest day ever and still insist that she's fine, comfort finnick, love on him, hold him, and he spends the time hating that he's enjoying the loving when she's so obviously lying, masking everything. it's such a paradox. meanwhile she feels terrible for aching comfort because of things she does, she wants to suffer, but the lure of giving into finnick's arms is too much sometimes. especially knowing that he loves her so much and so well. she just has to let herself take what she needs even if she hates herself or it later.

ofc this isn't too long pookie, I love hearing y'all's thoughts no matter how long, yap to me endlessly pookie, I'm a yapper too. ❤️

YAY EXCITING I would love to see Jordan Fisher as Orpheus, he's so talented. I'd die, and yes it's just so Finnick 😭💕

[enden-k]

Can I ask what makes Arlecchino evil? I'm v much a villain enjoyer and like some morally greyness, but I genuinely didn't pick up on a lot of bad stuff with Arlecchino. She was super helpful during Fontaine and seemed to be the only powerful person who cared about helping the common folk when the water levels were rising.

I'm not here to start an argument, just wanna expand my view 🙏

dw didnt think u want to argue! i will also use this to say i wont tolerate arguments, this goes for everyone here

i will talk about sensitive themes under the cut (mentions of when i was groomed/emotionally abused by my adoptive father/mentions of abuse/grooming in general) so if someones not good with this, be warned please and dont click for your emotional comfort.

i really love arlecchino (theres also difficult, personal reasons ig) and id rather wait for her to arrive to get more information than we have so far through other characters/side quests/main quest but well.

her goals aligned with ours in the fontaine quest which is why we have the impression shes a good/nice person, especially considering our other meetings with the harbingers we met so far (signora, childe, scara, dottore) and the situations. shes very calm and diplomatic (lets see how it changes in the next update when we fight her)

but we shouldnt forget how the travellers on their toes the entire time/everytime they come in contact with arle. its because shes a harbinger after all. shes a danger. her graceful politeness and calmness is supposed to have you on guard, make your hairs rise. shes mentioned to be manipulative and shes manipulating others to achieve what she wants by being nice and calm. she has ulterior motives. we should be careful. this is my impression based on my own gaming experience and idk if it was the same w others, but bc of us being on guard around her i was always prepared for her to turn on us until the end of the main quest.

anw, arle is supposed to be intimidating and have you wary. even tho she comes off as nice and polite, having done good and helped in the main story. its bc thats what she wanted and you happened to have the same goal. also lets not forget scaras and childes thoughts about her which already tells a lot

she has two sides. the one we saw in the quest, the graceful, calm, polite face to get what she wants. and the other, the one scara and childe talk about here, the one they call "crazy"

not to mention her codename, "the knave". what does it mean? servant. what else does it mean? "dishonest/deceitful man". basically, swindler. isnt it perfect?

shes manipulative and whatever her "true" nature is, we dont know (yet). she may have "good intentions" here or there but will achieve them no matter what it takes.

as for the thing you can consider as bad; the house of the hearth is an orphanage that raises children into fatui agents. only those who have potential join the ranks while the others are kept close (its not known whats done with them afaik). theyre basically grooming/raising child soldiers/spies.

before the sensitive stuff comes up, for the ppl who dont want to proceed, arlecchino fools/manipulates you into thinking shes a nice person/good parent. its amazing and so in character for her. its also scary how some ppl cant see the abuse/manipulation unless you went through this too or well. just actually read and realize it.

arlecchino is an emotionally manipulative parental figure. now, this is coming from someone who went through heavy abuse/was groomed by their adoptive father who was extremely manipulative and i spot so many things very well known to me. others who went through the same get this feeling. these signs you immediately recognize.

you get punished for the tiniest mistakes and when you get loved, it makes you forget all that was done to you, just for that tiny bit of affection you crave. you try to do your best, to do everything asked and expected of you, not to disappoint the only parent you have and youre dependent on, to be a good kid deserving of love and when you slip up youre in shambles. there was a time i did a tiny mistake by accident and my father said to me in the coldest voice "you broke my trust" and i remember so vividly how it broke me, how i cried until i got sick. i was physically abused before and none of it hurt me more than this. it still gets to me after all those years. emotional manipulation is cruel

what im trying to say is, she came in a time of need. taken as a savior while it just is one abuser swapped out with another. like my adoptive father having me dependent, giving me love i never received and being everything i wanted, making me believe hes everything i need, a common thing abusers do. wanting to do everything youre asked of and do it good, the fear of disappointing and being punished, believing you deserved it bc its your fault and treating your abuser like a savior, being conditioned. this is whats happening.

now, arle genuinely loves and protects her children; its very clear that the life of the children matter to her the most (look at childes line and freminet/lynette etc) - she was one of them too after all. so, its possible to love and still do these. moral greyness etcetc

anyway idk if its understandable or if i can explain it in proper words while maintaining a good distance so ill add the voicelines of the siblings heavily implying this, and also a tweet adressing this that brings it to proper words, better than i can say

tweet here bc tmblr doesnt insert the link properly

[cosmignon]

you may have talked about this before but i'm very curious how olivia got into the mix, both in fiction and in meta :0

also do you have any animals you associate with the squad? like not necessarily fursonas but if the shoe fits 🤔

also also, do their colors have significance to their personalities/names/etc? as someone who also has a set of color coded ocs i always love to see how folks decide what colors to put with each character :3

Olivia is a fascinating facet of the Stardust Scouts story because in zer earliest iterations ze was NOT such a major character like ze is now!!

Ze used to be this minor character in a scrapped arc about the Scouts going to Mars in order to confront an opposing, alien group of martian magical girls and get them to join their side in protecting the galaxy instead of trying to fight them on their home turf. This arc doesn't exist anymore, I think the opposing alien force is further away from Earth than that & are sending basically drone/scout enemies to Earth to try to conquer/destory it.

These were the original martians' designs! They have music associated with each of them because the main 4 Stardust Scouts were originally designed based on a "randomize your playlist and design a character based on the first 3 songs" prompt, so I figured the rival magic girl team should be inspired in the same way.

The conceit of the martian arc was that our MCs the Earth scouts would've used their magic to blend in with the martians w/disguises. Inversely, once the martians were on their side they would come visit Earth and wear their own disguises as well.

Can you guess which of these martians eventually became Olivia as we know zer? I will give you a hint

It's the one who's the obvious TAK from INVADER ZIM EXPY! YAAAY <3

Zer original role was the skeptic martian cleric/priest of the martian scouts, who was the most distrusting of the earth scouts having any good intentions, and I believe might've also had a toxic yuri thing going on with either the pink or blue martian.

All the other martians here never got developed much because Olivia, as the Tak Expy, meant ze had a lot of my favorite character design tropes going on and I wanted to specifically explore those more and ze became the obvious favorite haha. After that Zer role just kept increasing over time.

I think the most major development though was definitely when I decided ze could keep the toxic yuri energy originally planned for zer, but with One Of the Main Scouts instead... Tabitha and Olivia have HISTORY BABEY!!!!

(Fun Fact: My files say this was drawn Oct 2019, soooo... 1 month after the Steven Universe Movie came out. Spinel got her fingerprints all over this damn character, for real, she's one of my voice claims for zer)

This was the point where I decided Olivia was not an alien anymore, but a human who had been abducted BY aliens back when ze was a teenager and best friends with Tabitha. The both of them were private school goody two shoes with parents who put way too many expectations on them to get perfect grades. They would start breaking the rules a little bit by going out at night in the car Olivia got as a gift for good grades + passing zer drivers exam (important to note, Olivia used to go by she/her bc ze picked up new, alien genders while out in space)

The two sneaking out once in a while turned into most nights which culminated in the both of them being out in the woods when one of the Inciting Incident meteors with the Scouts' special magic maguffin rocks crashed nearby. Olivia was bolder than Tabitha at the time so ze investigated and got both magical girl powers and abducted by the enemy aliens who had been chasing the meteor at the same time. Tabitha was left absolutely shaken up and in the middle of a missing persons case where she couldn't tell anyone the truth of the matter bc it sounded absolutely batshit nuts.

This is information I give freely bc I don't really think it's worth hiding, but I know in the actual telling of The Story, The Stardust Scouts, this would all be information that was slowly handed out during the actual plot where Olivia initially serves as a disguised, alien general of the grunt forces being sent out to Earth. Ze's like, a hammy villain of the week that likes fucking with the Scouts because it's funny and ze Doesn't Respect Them.

Olivia doesn't recognize Tabitha at first bc he's changed so much over the years, transed her gender, stopped caring about things like school and grades. Tabitha also doesn't recognize Olivia bc ze is dressed in a full body suit, also transed zer gender, and Tabitha never thought he'd even see zer again. Spicy drama!!

Look at those dramatic fuckers... having feelings about rivalry and lost friendship and abandonment issues!! I should redraw the fake anime screenshot/do more of those sometime, those are always fun.

Also! This is an old design, but Olivia's main power when an antagonist is that ze can copy the powers of the other scouts and counter their attacks, meaning in the moments when the gang can fight zer one on one ze has the upper hand and can get away every time. I imagine then, that Olivia's main color scheme is very steely and grey when NOT using this copy cat ability, and ze doesn't have a sense of identiy beyond what ze can do for the aliens ze considers zer superiors.

Also! Also. Zer a jester/joker, since ze doesn't "fit" into the group's dynamic of being based on playing card suits.

EVENTUALLY, eventually, through a lot of monster of the week encounters, plot progression, and secrets revealed, Olivia's original identity would be uncovered and the team would convince zer to defect from zer alien captors, making zer a top level wanted deserter in the eyes of the big bad alien group (which I could talk abt another time).

Then Olivia gains a color of zer own, orange! Because the gang was always (in fiction) meant to be a team of 5, like the 5 points of a star! And colors of the rainbow/light spectrum, red orange green blue purple (yellow acts as a unifying accent color!).

To answer your question about the color meanings, I mostly assigned them originally based on vibes without too much through about specific symbolism. Plus I just like having characters all get one specific color, makes giving them outfits more enjoyable and fun for me. Like, you can see up above that Olivia (being Tak and all) originally had purple as zer main color. It took me a while to change that after I decided Savannah got purple instead, bc I was attached to how it looked. But orange felt like a good logical landing place. It's vibrant and fun and a little off the beaten path, again based on vibes.

Olivia starts off the story living among humans ""in disguise"" while plotting evil bad bitch things, and then after defecting ze just starts crashing at everyone's places while learning to really return to humanity in zer own way and hopefully make amends with the scouts for maybe sort of taking delight in fucking with them. Lol. Zer demeanor stays irreverent and annoying and punk throughout, even after zer turn to good/becoming the 5th ranger of the group, which makes zer a really fun character to think about and write.

[apompkwrites]

HII its been soo long since I've written and I'm sorryy😭. But your recent Asim family story has finally given me inspiration! Also this may not be accurate bcs once again, I have forgoten:') So here is Lil!Asim's story!

Tw: Kidnapping, sad lilbaby:(

Being a part of the Asim family looks like something of a luxury, and it is, if you don't mind the monthly kidnapping, having 30+ siblings and always at stake of food poisoning, assassination, or being married off to another family to build connections. Life for Lil!Asim isn't remarkable, wake up, check for food poisoning then eat, study with your half siblings about something you will never use, lunch, walk around the palace, dinner and sleep. Since they have a lot of siblings, there are birthdays almost everyday, but most of them don't get celebrated by the royal family. The only real important birthday, or child to put it bluntly is Kalim, possibly the only one of their siblings who isn't born from a concubine. Since he is the oldest he is expected to take on the duty of Sultan from their father so most of their attention goes to him. Lil!Asim feels jealous of Kalim, not because they want to take over as Sultan and rule, but because they want the amount of attention that he gets.

Being the nth sibling in the family means that they usually get overlooked, alot. Sure they have their other siblings and their personal servant to confide in, but their siblings either are too young to understand, don't care, or have just accepted their life as is. They feel guilty ranting to their personal servant knowing that given the chance, they would switch places with them in a heartbeat. One day while they were walking around a more secluded part of the palace they hear a rustling sound, thinking that it's just one of the younger ones trying to sneak up on them Lil!Asim turns around and a handkerchief is shoved against their mouth and they black out.

They wake up in a dark room tied to a chair, gagged and with no way out. "I'm gonna assume this isn't the first time your family has experienced one a' their kiddies gettin' napped" A voice speaks to them in the dark. "I'm gonna cut to the chase, your gonna be held for ransom for about hmmm.... 2 Million Madol, the royal family must have at least that much right? But here's the catch kid, we ain't gonna give ya back." They snicker sinisterly as they see Lil!Asim's panic "We' gonna kill ya right in front of ya folks. I mean realistically speaking I don't think they'll care all that much. You got a buncha' siblings and you arent that old so, what's the harm in losing one kid?" Lil!Asim's heart races and aches at the same time, not only from the fear of their fate, but because the kidnapper is right.

In the past their older siblings have been kidnapped, but all the assailants were delt with. Lil!Asim was more of a middle child and they weren't as important as their older siblings. Why would their father waste 2 Million Madol on them? Why would he send out someone to rescue them? Why were they even here? Why did they have to be an Asim? Why cant it be someone else? "Welp, imma leave ya to wallow in your existential crisis and ACK! – " A sudden crash comes through a covered window. Lil!Asim's eyes took a little time to adjust to the light, they were shocked to see Kalim and his personal servant Jamil on the flying carpet. Jamil went and apprehended the kidnapper with a spell and Kalim approached Lil!Asim and hugged them tight. "Oh Lil!Asim I was so worried! When I heard from your personal servant that they haven't seen you around I asked them wear you last were and ahhug I can't tell you how worried I was when I saw your hair ornament on the floor." Kalim ranted on, Lil!Asim was uncomfortable, wasn't this what they wanted? Didn't they want attention? Why are they so unhappy now? Out of the corner of their eye they saw Jamil signaling to hug Kalim back to not seem suspicious.

They were about to return to the castle when Jamil said that he will report to the Sultan on his own. He gave Kalim a look and walked off, Kalim seemingly understood and offered to give Lil!Asim a carpet ride to cool off the nerves. They cant remember when they last went of a ride with their big brother on his carpet since they were children. Lil!Asim feels Kalim hug them once more and feel tears flowing onto their shoulder "Ah! uh.. Brother, why are you crying? I'm...I'm okay now" The white haired boy hugged them tighter "I know that kidnappings are common for a family like us but – your so young... and if I didn't come and find you... I can't even imagine what could happen.." Lil!Asim hugs their brother back as they start to understand why they were discontent with attention like this. If they would have to make people worry and fear their safety just to make their family look their way, why crave that kind of attention at all?

Their little joy ride ended when Lil!Asim pointed out the stars and they returned to the castle. Their younger siblings crowded around them as they cried abound being worried and scared of big sibling being taken. Kalim still didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone so they had a sleep over like the good old days.

YAY ITS DONE OMG ITS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) uhm to clear up the last part where Lil!Asim understands why they are unhappy is like... If the only attention they will get is by worrying friends and family rather than say a birthday, why get any attention at all? ANYWAY YES THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME <333 - >:} anon

GUYS NEW LIL ASIM FIC JUST DROPPED

okokok i love the writing of lil asim realzing that they wanted attention but not at the expense of their family :OO like, they crave the love and attention they've been deprived of but the moment they get it, they realize that when it spawns from worry it's bitter and unwanted.

and and them bonding with kalim during a carpet ride!! and stargazing!! ugh i love them

[decepti-thots]

☕️ actually been meaning to ask you about this for ages bc you've mentioned before you have thoughts abt it; cdrw having less fic about them then you might expect for a canon couple?

I think there are a few reasons!

One is that the CDRW arc in the comics is not the kind of romantic arc that tends to appeal most to fandom. A lot of ship fic is "getting together" fic, because that's a way to make the ship the built-in plot of the fic. It provides a ready made beginning, middle and end that is near-guaranteed to be satisfying to anyone invested in the ship. But CDRW are introduced as a long-established couple, and their story is tied much more strongly to the overarching plot of the comic than it is to conventional romance beats.

Two is that it's actually kind of hard to find an obvious canon gap to write a story in during the events of the comic. Their arc is really... jam packed? So many of the big emotional moments of it just play out on page, is the thing. By contrast, look at, say, Dratchet. There is so much room to play with there. Even with Cygate, there was a period during the comic being published where you had room to write ahead and pre-empt the actual resolution we got, during the downtime. CDRW doesn't have as many options there to do that, and I feel like it might seem a less obvious choice for someone looking to write A Romance Fic.

Three is something I realised after talking to folks about the ship, which is that anecdotally I have discovered that a lot of people like CDRW but find it harder than expected to get a grip on. Chromedome in particular seems to stump people; I've written a little bit before about how I think the structure of his arc in the comic winds up catching people off guard because of how it doesn't follow the expected emotional trajectory post-Overlord. And I think between that and the fact that he's a character who people sometimes struggle to get a handle on the interior motivations of, he can be hard for some people to really find the voice of apparently. And Rewind, too, is deceptively tricky, because he is actually a very weird character. His motivations are weird, his intensity is weird, I find a lot of people who haven't revisited the source material recently tend to misremember him as a much more straightforwardly tropey character than canon Rewind actually is. A lot of the CDRW stuff out there I have seen tends to do this to both of them actually, slot them into a kind of m/m ship template that they vaguely resemble on the surface but is totally inadequate once you start paying attention. (Cygate also got this.)

When you put all of this together, I think CDRW grabbed people as fic fodder a lot less. And there's the built in sense of "canon gave us everything" that comes from them getting so much focus that I think smooths over that absence so it doesn't really seem obvious in fandom, where they just tend to hang around in fic as a background pairing.

anyway. people. we should write more cdrw fic i think. they are Insane and there are actually a bunch of things the comic brushes over tbh. and the AU potential! oh my god, there are so many opportunities for weird plot divergences!!! i am guilty bc i have a halfwritten longfic that i never managed to wrangle fully in google docs that i am sheepishly avoiding eye contact with (but will one day return to i swear) (look i'm in Big Bang mode right now folks but one day)

Sidenote: I'd love to hear other people's perspective on that third point... do people have opinions on this? I am going off stuff from a while ago and I know there's been a bunch of folks doing rereads lately. How are we feeling about CD and Rewind as characters these days.