#i think we all know who this is really about.. magneto from the prequels…

[spiders-selfship]

Absolutely no one: …

Me: OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! OLDER MEN F/OS!! ❤️💕💖💞💗

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Top five magneto moments from the X-Men movies?

Ohhh...lemme think. (I tried picking from different films. It's not really in any order of preference, just scenes I think are neat.

1. aka the first one. I mean, not the first-first one or the second one or- but the first scene with Charles and Erik being Like That and doing their thing.

There's already at least one pretty popular post about why this scene is so damn good and how it tells us so much about these guys' dynamic without telling us much at all and I just really think it's well-done, well-acted. Especially since in the og movies, Mags and Charles aren't the main-characters so they don't get that much screen-time but this is what we need to know and there is just so much being communicated. I was kind of torn whether to pick this one or the very last one of the film but I chose this one bc I feel like the first one is more about Magneto (we already know he's going to be the villain right here, we learn what motivates him, we get some of the trademark bitchiness Ian McKellen brings to the character. Good stuff. Also when he walks off like: "We're the future, Charles! Not them! They no longer matter!" So much going on here.) while the end-one is more about Professor X. Also, for me the last scene actually elevates this one even further because of the way it makes this exchange frame the entire narrative of the film. You do get the sense that Charles and Erik are two chessplayers moving their pieces with the whole "What are you doing here?" - "Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?" and -

Like, you just get the sense that everything that happened between those scenes is just a little bit beneath them. It isn't any major break or change in their lives or relationship, they're the same as before and that also gives you an idea about the kind of history these guys already got to have.

2). Obviously.

Iconic. Show-stopping. Do I even need to say anything? Probably one of my favourite prison-break scenes ever put on screen. Everything about it. The dialogue, the violence, the "never trust a beautiful woman - especially one that's interested in you", the camera movement, the wink, the glass shattering and the cell coming apart, Ian McKellen floating on a metal/blood frisbee. This one has it all. Some physics guy on YouTube actually made a video about how powerful Magneto has to pull this off and apparently, this is a lot more impressive than any of the major property damage we see him cause across films.

3. Ah yes the Villa Gesell scene

Lemme say first: This scene is completely and utterly pointless from a plot-perspective. It's literally just a character moment. And I love character moments. It's just there to show us who Erik is and the film bends over backwards to justify this scene being in it: An entire stack of coincidences that is Shaw's photo hanging on the wall of this pub with the name of his boat clearly visible and he's sitting next to the two Nazis who happen to be sitting in this very pub right there and then and of course one of them has his Nazi knife with him (which is a very weird mixture of a Hitler Youth knife and an SS Honour Dagger and even ignoring that it's a mess bc they even forgot that German capitalises its nouns so why is the inscription all lower case and I'm the most annoying person on the planet to watch movies with but t-)

And the thing is - I actually like this entire scene even more for all of that. Because they could have just had that Swiss banker tell Mags where Shaw is. But instead, his entire trip to Argentinia is in there to let us see Erik kill Nazis and we get an exact sense of what he's doing with his life, who he is, how he is - and also did I mention dead Nazis? - I live for that (and also for a deleted scene where he sees a mother and her kid at the Argentinian airport and has a flashback and 😢).

I also like that it continues the pattern we get in the bank scene where he doesn't confront his targets directly but sets them up to incriminate themselves. We also get the "Frankenstein's Monster"-line which is something I have a lot of thoughts about - especially bc the whole "what makes us human/monsters"-question is a big deal in the movie. Also-also it sets up Charles 'head empty' moment from the finale of the movie where he tells Erik that the people CURRENTLY FIRING FUCKING NUCLEAR MISSILES AT THEM are just 'good innocent men' who are 'just following orders' and you just get the sense of how often Erik has heard this shit (also...thinking about how this film is set in 1962, meaning right after the Eichmann trial). There's just. A lot going on.

4. Oh let's be controversial!

ok I know this is something I know a lot of people hold against Erik and say it's one of his meanest and most unfair moments. but honestly? His anger is at least as earned as Charles' at this point and any take on this scene that is "one of them is right and the other is wrong" is ...boring. Erik once again lost people he cared about, he spent ten years in solitary confinement for a crime he didn't commit, he just learnt that literally everything that he warned about in the last film will happen (already has happened, partially), pretty much word for word ("Identification, that's how it starts. And ends with being rounded up, experimented on, eliminated.) to the point that an actual TIME-TRAVELLER comes back from the fucking future to tell them how bad they all fucked up.

(One of the things I like is that he doesn't make a difference between people who chose his side and people who chose Charles' side - he names Banshee along with Emma, Azazel, Angel. He's just sad about all of them. Generally, I'm still prissy that we never got to see him go full Magneto for any length of time in the prequels so him speaking of 'mutant brothers and sisters' is the closest we get to knowing what he would be like if they didn't always find some new weird between-movies plot for him like prison or starting a family in Poland or starting a leftist commune on an island - although I can kind of respect that one.)

Also anyone who ever had the misfortune of actually hearing me talk about this movie for any lengths of time knows I have...a lot of thoughts about Erik and his time in solitary confinement and I like that the first times we see his powers after he gets out after ten years of no metal, it's a huge mess. Erik as we know him from First Class would probably just wave his hands at those guards in the Pentagon kitchen and kill them with a few well-aimed knives in a blink of an eye - but this time around, he trashes the entire room and hits no one. And in the plane scene we see him lose control completely and almost bring down the plane once he snaps and you really get the sense that after ten years, he's no longer used to having metal around that reacts to his powers.

Also, in that same scene the mutual acknowledgement between him and Logan in the end? I liked that.

5. (almost) all scenes where he's just a giant menace to infrastructure and important landmarks.

Like the fact that he destroyed the Sydney opera house is just such a casual by-note, we don't even talk about that one. It's just how it goes, you know? The only let-down is that he literally went to France without taking down the Eiffel-Tower in DOFP? A giant metal structure? This is a serious oversight by the writers and really cheapens the whole movie-going experience. 2/10.

[laurenhufflepuff2]

A list of fandoms I'm in (in no particular order, will probably be updated regularly. Some fandoms are more intense and some are more casual. Depending on the fandom, I could go on and on about fandom topics for HOURS. Let's get into it!)

Harry Potter, Disney, Marvel, DC comics, Miraculous Ladybug, Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra, Star Wars, Literature, Winx Club, Nintendo, Minecraft, Little Witch Academia, Voltron, Coraline

Details:

Harry Potter- I got into Harry Potter in 7th grade and now I am the resident expert in my family and in my friend group. I read all the books, watched all the movies (notably the British version), and I've seen the Fantastic Beasts films as well. I've also read Tales of Beedle the Bard (the Warlock's Hairy Heart was traumatizing) along with the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook (plus an updated edition). I also read The Cursed Child script and while I mean no hate to anyone that liked it, I hated what it did to the canon. I am in Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw tendencies (I took the Pottermore quiz 3 times, 2 out of 3 I got Hufflepuff, the other time was Ravenclaw). I had a pottermore account and I was so upset when it got converted to the Wizarding World page. I cosplayed Hermione in 7th grade complete with British accent and even monologued as her for a talent show (classmates and teachers would recognize me as the Hermione girl all the way through high school). I was obsessed and I still love it even if J.K. Rowling has gone off the deep end on Twitter... yeah... my favorite character is Hermione but I also relate to Luna

Disney- there's so much that goes into the Disney part of my fandom list. I'm excluding Marvel and Star Wars from this part as they were originally separate entities before Disney got the rights to them. I have seen almost every animated Disney film ever and often use random movie quotes in conversation. My favorite villain is Maleficent, my favorite princess is Ariel (followed by Belle, Rapunzel, and Anna). I relate to so many of the characters. I'm not sure who my favorite Pixar character is though (I love Violet, Sadness, Dory, and Piper (from the short)). My favorite Disney fairy is Fawn. My favorite characters overall are Ariel and Stitch. Disney is definitely on the list as one of my biggest obsessions. My favorite movies are Lilo and Stitch, the Little Mermaid, Inside Out, Alice in Wonderland (original), and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Marvel- I mostly get my Marvel exposure through the MCU, other movies, and animated TV shows. I have difficulty reading graphic novels so most of my comic book knowledge comes from friends, posts, or wikis. My favorite characters are Spider-Man, Captain America, Peggy Carter, and Scarlet Witch. I also like Gwenpool, Deadpool, Spider-Gwen/ Ghost-Spider, Venom, Squirrel Girl, Daredevil, Mantis, Gamora, Black Widow, Iron Man, Thor, Loki, Bucky, Black Panther, and most MCU characters. Out of the X-men I really like Professor X, Wolverine, Mystique, Magneto, Nightcrawler, and Quicksilver (either version- MCU or Fox).

DC- this was the franchise I was more familiar with growing up but again, graphic novels aren't easy for me to read so most of my knowledge comes from information pages about the comics or from tv/movies. My earliest experience with DC came from the 60s Batman series, with Catwoman and Robin being my favorites. I also watched the Wonder Woman series from the 70s and a handful of CW shows, my favorite of which being the Flash and Arrow. I also managed to watch all 5 seasons of the Teen Titans Cartoon Network series from 2003. With that being said, my favorite characters are Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Flash, Batman, Nightwing/Robin (Dick Grayson), Green Arrow, Starfire, Raven, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Alfred. I also like most of the bat family, and when it comes to CW I LOVE Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost and Cisco.

Miraculous- this is one of my guilty fandoms but since this is Tumblr I'm not too worried about it. I love Marinette and I relate to her on an astoundingly deep level (minus the stalking and obsession with potential lovers, that's creepy). If I had a miraculous, I'd probably want the Ladybug one, but the Cat miraculous, fox miraculous, and snake miraculous are good too. My favorite character is Marinette/Ladybug.

Atla/Tlok- I jumped on the avatar bandwagon just when it was starting to get popular, so I managed to get through the series before the memes took over everything. Same with Tlok, although i couldn't completely avoid the spoilers for that when i started it. I've been wanting to get into the comics because of the short story comics I've read, they seem easier to read than superhero comics. My favorite characters are Aang, Katara, Ty Lee, Iroh, Korra, Jinora, Asami, Suki, Appa, Momo, Naga, and Pabu. I also like Sokka, Mai, Zuko, Lin, Kuvira, Varrick, Zhu Lee, and Azula. I feel really sorry for her and while I understand that a redemption arc would undermine the importance of her corruption arc, I still wish she could have one. I would love to be a waterbender or an airbender... maybe a waterbender raised in the air nation? Obviously, being the avatar itself would be awesome. The show has taught me a lot of great lessons and put a lot of stuff into perspective for me.

Star Wars- oh boy, talking about this one is dangerous. I've seen firsthand the horrors of the Star Wars fandom but then again no one will probably see this anyway so... I've seen all the movies and I remember watching the clone wars series with my brother when I was younger but we fell wayyy behind and it's taking us forever to get back into it. I've also seen the Mandalorian and quite enjoyed it. I like the prequels unironically, in fact, the prequels are some of my favorite movies. I especially like how they switched from lightsabers being heavy weapons to light weapons that can be used for all kinds of tricks that make for epic battles like the ones we see in Revenge of the Sith. The sequels were fun to watch but when I would analyze them along side their predecessors, I came to the conclusion that, for me, they were good to watch but did not do anything good for the rest of the franchise. My favorite characters are prequels/clone wars Obi Wan and Anakin, Padme, Ashoka, Leia, R2D2, BB-8, R4-P17, the Mandalorian (Din Djarin), and Grogu. If I had a lightsaber I'd want it to be blue, but when I was little I got a purple one like Mace Windu because it was closer to pink and I was into pink at the time. I still have that lightsaber and none of my friends have a purple one so it's one of my flexes. I feel like I wouldn't make a good jedi because of attachments being forbidden, so I'd probably become a grey jedi.

Literature- this is a broad term I use to cover all the random books and stories I liked reading and have studied. So we have Shakespeare (Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, Romeo and Juliet), The Great Gatsby (bored while reading, loved to analyze), Grendel (HATED reading, loved to analyze, Grendel really needed a hug and a friend), The Crucible, Fahrenheit 451, Dark Life (+ the sequel Riptide, both are by Kat Falls good reads, sci-fi and kind of dystopian), The Once and Future King

Winx Club- I think the show is trashy but I still love watching it. I haven't been able to get through season 6 though and I hated what they did with season 8 and Fate: the Winx Saga. My favorite character is Bloom along with Stella and Flora. I prefer rai to nick. My favorite transformations are magic winx, enchantix, and harmonix. My favorite member of the Trix is Icy followed by Darcy. My favorite Pixies are Chatta and Lockette.

Nintendo- mainly Pokémon above all else, followed by Animal Crossing. I have also played (mostly as player 2 or just never beat or watched my brother play) mario games, legend of zelda, pikmin, and kirby. Games I haven't played but I just liked the characters/the lore and probably learned about through Super Smash Bros. are Fire Emblem (Lucina mostly), Metroid (Samus and baby metroid), and Kid Icarus. Pokémon is where I'm most knowledgeable but you'll most likely beat me in battle. I am however great at MarioKart and I always destroy my friends at it. Terrible at fighting games though.

Minecraft- I like playing this casually. Sure, I'll play for hours and hours on end for months, but I prefer to stay exclusively in peaceful when playing Survival mode and I don't make anything too ambitious in Creative mode. I like to write, so sometimes I'll make a rough layout of the settings of my stories in different worlds. I prefer interior design and decorating when building, and when in survival mode I focus more on mining and gathering while my brother works on ambitious building projects. I just bring him the raw materials and furnish the interior when he finishes the outside.

Little Witch Academia- this takes up a smaller portion of my fandom list because there were only 2 seasons and a couple movies and I watched the whole series years ago, but I still enjoy it. At one point I wanted to cosplay Akko, and I loved the nod at Twilight through the Nightfall series. And I especially liked the twist that Shiny Chariot was Ursula, which I suspected for some time. The blend between magic and technology was fun to see, but I was so sad that the series ended RIGHT when Akko finally showed signs of magic proficiency. Also, Shiny Chariot being the reason Akko couldn't do magic was heartbreaking.

Voltron- this takes up a much smaller portion of my fandom list mainly because I haven't even finished it. I know hardly anything about Transformers aside from the Bumblebee movie so to me I just watch it for fun. It reminds me of power rangers, star wars, and star trek, and then there's just a transformer insert. But I don't know anything about Transformers so maybe the show is more rooted in canon than I think.

Coraline- I am in a love-hate relationship with Coraline. I have watched the movie several times, I've read the book, I've watched hours of theories and analyses on youtube, I've watched behind the scenes videos by Laika, and I even wrote a script for a fan film parody. I am amazed at how original the story is and how impressive the stop motion animation is but I also have recurring nightmares from it and it scares me/creeps me out to the max. If anyone asks what my scariness limit is, it's definitely Coraline.

[moonbearmeliox]

X-Men Series Film Review

Welcome back to “Bren rambles about a movie/tv series.” So I just spent the past three days watching the main X-Men movies and while watching I wrote down my thoughts and what came to mind when watching the movies. Spoiler Warning(duh) for the X-Men movies. Also trigger warning because I do talk about homophobia and conversion camps.

X-Men

As the woman is talking about how mutants can be scared to revel themselve because they could be met with hostility and violence, I find this as a parellel to gay marriage and how LGBTQ+ are scared to come out because they won’t be accepted. Mutants are scared to say they’re mutants of fear of being put to death; LGBTQ+ people are scared to come out in fear of being met with violence or judgement(some places you can be put to death for being gay.

“We should decide if parents want their kids to be in school with mutants.” Sounds the same as “Do you want your child to go to the same school as a gay person? Do you want to be in the bathroom with a girl who has a dick?(in the context of conservatives who don’t want transgender people to use the bathrooms they identify with because “their genitals don’t match)”

Speaking of gay: Eric and Charles

Wolverine got anger issues

Wolverine adopting a young girl with mutant powers, how many times is this going to happen? At least twice.

Rouge really got the shortest end of the stick with the mutant gene.

Give Rouge a male love interest that will inevitably die by her hand, that’s what I’m assuming.

Jean Gray is going to be Wolverine’s love interest, calling it now

Mystique’s costume always bugs me because she’s essentially naked. Like, the directors were like “She must wear no clothes.” “That’s not practical-” “Men will eat it up. The sex appeal, yes. Because women can never have practical costume design.”

Scott looks like he’s played by the main dude in the Sonic Movie(I was right!)

Can Magneto bend the iron in people’s bodies?

“You never use your power against another mutant.” How long is that going to last?

Dad Logan is the best Logan.

The Train Splitting scene shows how powerful Magneto is but didn’t Charles tell Wolverine that Magneto can control metal. Wouldn’t Wolverine have the knowledge, “Hey using my METAL claws against a METAL bender might not be a good idea.”

Kinda figured he would want Rouge, a mutant who can literally kill someone with touch is definitely something the big bad would want.

Magento could just metal bend Charles’ wheelchair.

So Magento’s plan is to turn everyone into mutants, right?

Charles explained it more and it sounds like Terragensis from Agents of Shield with the crystals. Some come out of it with powers, others will crumble to dust.

What powers the cortex that makes it so Charles goes into a coma? Like how does the liquid get into his brain for that to happen?

Yes Jean, it is a perfect idea to put the helmet that put Charles into a coma on your head. Nothing will go wrong.

Mystique really only has like five lines in this whole movie. She really is just supposed to be eye candy.

Of course classic shapeshifter double, who’s who scene. Probably going to be resolved with Jean Gray knowing which one is the real Logan.

The fight scene isn’t that well shot but it is 2000 so

I don’t remember there being a big museum when I visited the Statue of Liberty

I doubt Mystique will stay dead.

Again they thought it would be a good idea to send Wolverine, the man with METAL CLAWS to help fight a METAL BENDER.

Nice of Magneto to put Cyclops and Jean right next to each other face to face.(Director: They’re a couple they must face each other so one can kill the other)

Yep, knew Mystique couldn’t stay dead

Why did they try and have Jean and Logan have a weird semi romance set up when Jean is dating Scott

They gave Charles a plastic wheel chair for when he visited Magneto. Ha, that’s funny.

Plastic isn’t that durable, it would be easy to break Magneto out

X2

Nightcrawler!

The fights scenes have improved, but they’re using a lot of wire rigging

Alan Cummings played NightCrawler. Knew he looked familiar.

Let’s have Wolverine follow a wolf even though wolves are wolverine's natural predators.

Watch the president be a mutant

Dad!Logan

Still painting it that Logan and Jean could possibly end up together. No thanks.

I see they didn’t change Mystique’s costume design. Is she going to say more than five lines in this movie?

Government wants to pass an act to detain and control all mutants, goes and raids a school filled with mutants, and then is SURPRISED when the mutants retaliate. “Oh we don’t want to start a war” THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE. Of course they’re not going to leave them alone because what isn’t normal scares them and must be dealt with no matter what.

Getting even more parallels between mutants and LGBTQ+. Striker wanted his son cured of the mutant gene but was ultimately upset when Charles’s school couldn’t do that. It’s similar to how when people come out to their parents, their parents send them to conversion camps to “Cure” them because they think being gay is an illness. 

Bobby don’t get horny, it will only end badly

I asked the question if Magento could bend the iron in people’s blood in the last movie. The answer is yes. Yes he can.

Bobby’s parents “Have you tried not being a mutant.” Gives more LGBTQ parreles “Have you tried being straight?” “Have you tried being your assigned gender?”

An officer shooting a white guy? Unrealistic.

Welp Bad guys and good guys team up to save Charles.

Jean and Logan kissed. Here’s my shocked face. #TeamScott.

But seriously, I hate how the main dude must have romantic interactions with the main girl. It’s never the main dude has romantic interactions with a minor(minior in the sense of not that important to the plot) girl, Storm is right there with no love interest. Pair Logan up with her, that way we aren’t running an already established romance, But nooooo, Hollywood loves to have love triangles.

Mystique changing into Jean, making out with Logan, and then changing into a bunch of different girls makes me uncomfortable.

But again, “All women who have the potential to be a love interest must kiss the main dude” now we wait for Storm to give Logan a smooch.

Female Wolverine!

Magneto had his own secret agenda? Who would have thought?

Bobby’s going to come in clutch with freezing the water

Why does Jean need to go and stop the water? Bobby has control over ice, he can stop it.

Man I really feel bad for Scott. 

But I’m miffed because it’s the classic female character dies to further male character’s development.

Oh look Jean’s alive, not surprise. Is she going to be the villain of X-men 3?

I couldn’t watch X-Men 3 because it wasn’t available on any sites but reading the wiki synopsis I was right on her being a bad guy(MY BOY SCOTT GOT MURDERED!). Upset Charles died but he was old and the mentor figure so he kinda had it coming.  On to the prequels. 

X-Men-First Class

So Charles met Mystique first. And her name is Raven. Wonder what caused their split. I just hope they weren’t romantically involved

Poor Erik, really giving him a tragic backstory

James Macavoy!

Raven and Charles call each other siblings! Oh this is going to hurt more.

Excuse me while I get distracted by Vegas women.

But also did the CIA woman plan to sneak in as a showgirl. Because who would wear lingerie under work clothes unless she planned for this(or planned to get freaky later). I mean it’s Vegas so maybe she was prepared.

Emma Frost is a telepath and can crystalize her body. Not what I was expecting with the last name Frost but I also find it odd that her two mutations don’t intersect with each other. Telepathy and crystallization have nothing in common, so the only explanation is that she got both genes from her parents. It would have to be rare since males are usually the ones to pass the gene to their kids.

Azazel. I’m guessing is Nightcrawler's dad. He and Mystique will get romantically involved and have Nightcrawler. He’ll get the blue skin from his mom but the mutant gene from his dad.

Ok I’m miffed about the costume design again. It’s London and it’s raining and they decided to have Raven and the CIA woman wear SHORTS! They’ll be freezing their asses off all so you can have some leg candy? What’s so appealing about knees? Nothing. It’s always been women’s costume designs that have to be appealing, not practical.

If Charles can’t be involved with Mystique, then he’ll have to get involved with Moira?(I don’t know if I heard her name correctly, the CIA lady). Because all male characters MUST have a romantic love interest(sarcasm)

That one CIA dude, he’s a real one.

So the dude that killed Erik’s mother, is also a mutant. 

How is Erik trending water and controlling metal? Nevermind, he’s drowning

Charles saves Erik! And thus the ship is born. “Erik, you’re not alone.”

Hank Mcoy. They zoomed in on Mystique when he was looking at her. Reading the camera angles...oh please don’t have another romantic set up.

They did the Spiderman/MJ framing with Hank upside down and Mystique very close to his face. Yep, they’re setting up a romance between them that will ultimately go nowhere because again, Mystique will do the do with Azael to get Nightcrawler.

Hank and Mystique have only known each other for like five minutes and they’re already having a picnic on top of a rocket. I hate how romance moves so fast in movies.

And Mystique was going to kiss him. Just...no

Erik, right after he walks in on Hank and Mystique’s picnic: If I looked like you, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Are they really trying to set up a love triangle between Hank, Mystique and Erik? I know Magneto and Mystique's relationship in the first three movies is close, but that sentence just makes it sound like Erik is jealous.

“Are you sure we can’t shave your head.” “Don’t touch my hair”. I mean he’s going to lose it eventually.

I love the mutant finding montage. Especially the Wolverine cameo

My mom just informed me that the bad bad is played by Kevin Bacon so that’s what I will refer to him as since I can’t remember his name.

These recruited mutants aren’t going to last long. They’ve got the youthful team up energy, they will be the “First Class” hence the name, but we probably won’t see them again after this movie.

Charles, Erik and Moira being disappointed parents. Starting to get a family vibe that we didnt get from the last three movies.

Charles as Erik storms in: I’m sorry, I can’t leave him. They’re gay your honor.

I just realized that Frost is the second right hand woman to have no real costume. She’s just like Mystique where “she must wear the least amount of clothing possible or have no clothing at all when using her powers” I just wish it would stop.

Let’s take the right hand woman who is a telepath with us. What could go wrong?

What is Angel’s motive to go with Bacon, like I don’t get it. And the adaption dude? It’s just a turn on the dime. Nevermind it was a fakeout and one of them died. Knew they weren’t going to last long.

I feel like Chalres trying to shoot Erik as training is foreshadowing.

Training montage

SO Bacon loses Frost and now has Angle as his right hand woman? I honestly didn’t think that necessary.

Welp there goes Mystique and Hank’s relationship. He only liked her when she was in disguise.

Conflicting differences! Finally get to see Erik and Charle’’s view on humans.

Knew it! As soon as Hank dumps Mystique she goes straight to Erik. Because “She MUST be romantically involved.” Why? Why? Can’t she just...not. She doesn’t need a man.

Erik: I want to go to bed. Maybe in a few years. Ha funny.

I get Mystique going to Erik because he accepts her, unlike Hank but again, she doesn’t need to have a love interest.

Suits! But again, miffed about Mystique’s suit not being fully set up. SHE DOESN'T”T NEED TO HAVE HER CLEAVAGE TEASING IF SHE”S GOING TO BE FIGHTING!

Could Charles just stop controlling Bacon, so he can move and Erik wouldn’t have a chance to kill him.

But good cuts between Bacon and Charles.

The boyfriends are fighting!

Oh that’s how he gets parralized. I forgot about that.

Erik really does care for Charles even tho they have different viewpoints

Mystique going with Erik and having Azeal with him is setting up the perfect opportunity for Nightcrawler.

“Gentleman, this is why the CIA is no place for a woman” *Big gigantic crash* That’s what you get for being sexist.

Days of Future Past

So these machines can absorb mutant powers and transfer them to other machines. A new threat.

Oh Charles isn’t dead from being disintegrated by Dark Phoenix

Logan!

Charles confirmed Mystique was like a sister to him.

So Mystique’s dna was the cause of the Sentitnals. I understand that stopping Mystique from shooting the doctor will change that, but also if that doesn’t work they would have to kill Mystique.(which won’t happen because she’s in the next movie.

Charles tells Wolverine that he didn’t have his powers in 1973, but First Class takes place in 1962 where he definitely had his powers. So what happened to Charles that made him lose his powers?

For once the government isn’t targeting mutants

Well one dude from First Class is in this movie, but sadly I can’t remember his name. X-beam guy.

Why is Charles drunk and not parallelized?

Hank still cares for Raven. Guess the love triangle is still a thing

Oh he’s doing the equivalent of mutant heroine to get rid of his powers and walk.

Erik in gay baby jail.

Erik killed JFK?! Why?!

I feel like if Mystique is searching around the office of someone, she should still be disguised as someone so she doesn’t get caught. I get her dropping the disguise to show the audience it’s her and it builds suspense but she would draw less suspicion.

PETER! MY boy!

I love that he talks fast and that’s kinda like a teenager. I don’t know how old he actually is.

“My mom knew a guy who could do that.” They’re not even trying to be subtle here.

Slow mo Peter speed scene! Yes!

Is that all we get of Peter in this movie? I hope not.

JFK WAS A MUTANT?

So Magneto can lift a plane, a submarine, and now a baseball stadium. Why does he need a baseball stadium?

They showed a clip of Peter watching the broadcast and he’s holding a little girl. I’d like to think that’s Wanda.

Everyone’s alive. Yay!

I’ll excuse Jean being alive because time changes and all that. SCOTT! SCOTT”S ALIVE! YES!

Apocalypse

Hey Oscar Issac

Young Scott!

Young Nightcrawler!

Erik went from wanting to kill humans to being a farmer and having a wife and daughter. Still going to end up on the bad side.

Young Jean Gray! Scott and her start out rocky but we know they’re going to end up together.

Knew the wife and kid wasn’t going to last long. Always got to do something that makes Magneto the bad guy

Two birds...one arrow

For this one, I can understand Magneto’s anger

Young Storm was originally on the bad guy’s side.

Scott sees things through literal rose tinted glasses.

I love Kurt.

Scott use to be a rule breaker

At least Storm has a practical costume. 

Also if Erik really wanted to lay low, why did he choose to work at a metal factory.

Pyslocke’s costume isn’t practical. She’s got a boob and butt window. Girl there are so many places you could get stabbed.

PETER!

Charles and Erik always greet each other with old friend

So birdman gets metal armor and the girls get nothing.

Peter slow-mo! This will always be my favorite speedster scene

So the only people that can save the X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Gray, and NightCrawler. Three teenagers with no plan. They got this.

Go Charles! Fighting no matter what.

Logan!

Thankfully most of these characters can’t die.

Pyslocke  and Angel can die but the others all have plot armour

Peter didn’t tell Erik he’s his son. Why?

No not the hair! Apocalypse took Charle’s hair.

Go Peter!

No Peter!

So Charles still has the hair when he’s in Apocalypse's head. Part of me knows it won’t grow back but I hope it does.

Mind fight!

So Erik is on the good guys side until the next movie.

Mystique finally has a good costume design

Dark Phoenix

The dude they got to play Bush doesn't look like Bush

SPACE!

This mission is going to go wrong and the X-men are going to get planned. Thus leading the world going against mutants again.

They gave Scott is own eye cannon, nice

Yea absorbing a solar flare will definitely cause your powers to go way hire

Well the mission didn’t go wrong, the way i thought it would. That’s good.

Charles motives have changed

So, men, supposed gods, robots, and now we’re dealing with aliens

Charles kinda being shown as a bad guy is weird. So used to seeing him have good motives.

The aliens want Jean to use her power to take over earth. Not surprising.

Dad now is not the time to poke the super powered bear

Police always show up at the wrong time

I know Mystique can’t die. This is the prequels

But again, Stop killing female characters to further male character’s development.

Oh there’s Erik. 50 minutes in and i thought we weren’t going to see him

Jean’s got a heat signature with that solar flare so it would be easy to track her.

At least the military decided to fallback instead of shooting

And there goes humans liking mutants. This is why we can’t have nice things.

So Mystique’s death is what sets Erik on being the villain again? It’s the same as a woman losing her husband and becoming a villain for revenge. Honestly I’m tired of love revenge plots.

Guys stop fighting! You’re  friends!

Oh shit! Jean is making Charles walk. And not in the good way.

OH SHIT KURT IS KILLING PEOPLE NOW!

Dark Phoenix. A movie about family.

Legend of the Phoenix. She’ll rise from the ashes.

Bummed Peter wasn’t in this movie more

All in all, Apcolypse is my favorite X-Men movie.

[luci-cunt]

Tell me about Magneto🤭

MAY YOU CAN’T SEE IT BUT IM KISSING YOU SO PASSIONATELY RIGHT NOW

Ok so listeeennnn tooooo meeeee, okokokok, so a while ago I went on this James McAvoy bender--don’t ask--and I saw he was in the X-Men movies, whic hi haven’t watched since the Wolverine movies/ Last Stand when I was like, actually a baby. So anyways I flipped them on thinking “yeah what could go wrong?” except I watched them in the wrong order

Anyways here’s an essay on why neither Erik or Prof X was right and the actual answer would be to compromise and these movies how how because they’re both too stubborn and couldn’t it destroyed their friendship and fucked everything up. 

Also the fact that X-Men: First Class is the best Villain origin story to ever cross the screen.

Ok so spoilers ahead for X-Men: Days of Future Past and X-Men: First Class

Now, it should be noted that I’m no an X-Men expert I just love these two movies. 

So for some context: First Class and Days of Future Past are both kind of prequels, except DoFP is a prequel-sequel?? becuase of time travel?? I’ll explain don’t worry. The point is, they take place in the past where all the characters are younger. James McAvoy plays Professor X (who I’ll just be calling X for this whole thing), Michael Fassbender plays Magneto (aka Erik), oh and Jennifer Lawrence plays Mystic--who will be appearing in this essay XDD. 

Alright so first of all have a plot summary: DoFP is about Wolverine getting sent back in time so he can convince a younger Prof X to stop Raven (aka Mystic) from getting caught by this guy Trask who then uses her DNA to create super weapons that irradiate all mutants. The current future Wolverine is in, he, prof X, Magneto, and a few other mutants are trying their best to survive but it’s a losing battle and their only hope is to literally change the past. 

This one takes place after the events of First Class, which I will now explain. 

So in First Class a younger Prof X and Magneto team up to find and recruit bb mutants to X’s school because the government wants to use Mutants to help fight the Russians (oh head this takes placee in the 1960′s right before the Cuban Missile Crisis). This is essentially a Magneto origin story and also--in my opinion--the best villain origin story to ever cross the screen. 

OK so now some details on our main characters: 

Magneto/ Erik Lehnsherr: a literal holocaust survivor who’s only goal in the begining of the story is hunting/ killing nazi’s, specifically one nazi who tortured him specifically and I will get into him later don’t worry. 

Professor X: super smart rich white boy with a heart of gold but also enough naivete to make a lamb look like a Stephen King character. 

Already you can see very stark differences between the two of them. Erik is set up as being a staunch pessimist while X is a vivid optimist, and that makes sense. X’s grown up sheltered and never wanting for anythign while Erik suffered a trainwreck of the greatest traumas in human existence hitting him over and over and over again from like age fucking 9. 

Ok also tehre’s J-Law’s character Raven, who is a mutant that can change her skin to look like anythign she wants it to but her actual form is blue/ scaly/ “not pretty” (bullshit but ok). She met X when she broke into his house one night to steal some food and then they became friends, their relationship will become important later but for now that’s all u need to know. 

ok so anyways, in the begining of First Class Erik is hunting + killing Nazi’s, specifically looking for this one called Schmidt because when Erik was little he and his family were carted away to a concentration camp where Schmidt witness Erik use his metal bending powers and decided to “train” him. aka physically/ mentally abuse him for years. The whole thing starts with Schmidt trying to get Erik to lift a metal coin with his mind, when he can’t (because he’s a child who didn’t even know he had his powers until literally hours ago) Schmidt puts his mother’s life on the line and when he still can’t Schmidt kills her. This sends Erik it’s a rage and he crushes some nazi heads but then Schmidt is still standing and mentions how “oh gotcha, so it’s rage and pain that’s the key to your powers huh?” anyways this tidbit and the coin will become important later trust me--

Meanwhile Prof X is graduating from Oxford/ generally being an idiot pretty boy. He’s a telepath who knows about his powers and has used them from an early age. He also wrote some big paper on mutants, which gets the attention of an FBI agent who witnesses the villains being mutants and wants his advice

However, the villains just so happen to be Schmidt, who’s going by “Shaw” now, so when X and the agents catch up to him Erik is already there and on a mission to murder his ass. Some bs happens, Erik tries to pull a submarine out of the water but can’t (T-T this will be important) and X jumps into the water to stop him because the mental stress is literally killing him. 

That’s how they meet. 

It’s important to note: up until this point, Erik didn’t know there were other mutants, so meeting X, who’s friends with Raven, is kind of a big deal for him. He and X become very fast friends and also have a very homoerotic montage where they become dads for a bunch of mutant teenagers, because they realize they can use X to track all these baby mutants, collect them, and train them so they don’t grow up fearing their powers. 

Anyways, the other thing about this is that now that Erik has this newfound group of people that are just like him, he’s opening up, and X is helping him realize he’s actually so much more powerful when he taps into happy memories rather than fueling himself on pain and rage. This scene always makes me sob oh my god--

Also, fellas--is it gay to “access the brightest cortex” of your homies memories and remind him that hate and pain are not good motivators before reminding him that he has good memories he can draw on and showing him that his life has not been entirely painful?

YEs, the answer is yes are u shitting me??

ok so anyways--something to note about this is that X and Erik are both very protective of all their new kids, but Erik is especially so. I’m going to be getting into this more but just tab thsi thought for later :)

Now, the plot’s kicking up a bit, because it’s at this point that Erik and X capture one of Shaw’s (aka the nazi’s) main lackies and they question her until she gives them the info that Shaw’s planning on using the Cuban Missile Crisis tensions to start a nuclear war to wipe out all humans so that only mutants survive in the new world. 

Obviously they want to stop him, but also, you can kind of tell that Erik is not totally against this plan, which only gets to be more later but that’s for later. 

Right now I wanna take a quick break to talk about Raven--aka Mystic, aka J-Law. She and X were childhood friends and she kind of clung to him because she doesn’t have family/ anyone she can really be herself around besides him. 

X insistently says throughout the movie he sees her as a sister, but it’s kinda obvious she’d be down to fuck. She has this big plotline where she keeps trying to get X to understand why it’s so frustrating for her to have to be using energy to look “human.” Because her natural form is the one with the blue skin. X doesn’t understand this because his power is easy to hide, it’s simple for him to just fake-human and have no one be any wiser, Raven, however, doesn’t have that luxury and when she tries to explain this to X it just flies over his head, insisting she hide her natural self to better fit in if that’s what she really wants. 

Queue Erik, who comes in as a king of self love. He’s pretty blunt about it, but his point is basically “you’re wasting energy by constantly pretending you’re something you’re not--stop” and she responds essentially with “yeah but then no one will like me” to which he responds “then make them.”  

Raven’s relationship with both the boys is used through both First Class and DoFP to really highlight their faults. X believes humans and mutants can coexist but he thinks we go about doign that by completely ignoring the pages of history of abuse mutants have suffered--and it’s mostly because he hasn’t experienced it. 

Erik on the other hand will do everything and anything he possibly can to protect his new family/ people, and in his head that means exterminating any and all threats. By the end of the movie--humans become one of those threats. 

The point of this whole ramble is that: they both represent utter opposites, BUT, X’s blind optimism and Erik’s blind pessimism are equally bad.

Ok so back to plot for a second to prove this. 

Shaw is revealed to be a mutant himself and he also has a helmet that can block telepathy. (yes it’s the magneto helmetjasjd;fkjaskl;dfjasldkj jsut wait).

His plan’s complicated but basically: he’s going to poke America and Russia until they pop and incite a nuclear war. And it works. The whole pre-climax of the film sees X, Erik, Raven, and the other mutants all working double time to stop Shaw’s plan (AND IT INVOLVES ERIK SUCCESSFULLY PULING A SUBMARINE OUT OF THE WATER!!! BECAUSE NOW HE’S USING HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF ANGER/ PAIN!!!). 

Anywho, they’re doing all this, but then some bullshit happens, the plane they’re on crashes oh and -- yeah there’s this part where Erik uses himself as a seatbelt for X it’s fantastic but anyways--

This is finally the climax of the film. 

Also possibly the greatest scene in film history in my humble opinion. 

Because listen--in order to stop Shaw they need the helmet off of him so that X can telepathically freeze his ass and they can arrest him or whatever. So they split up--Erik rushes into the wreckage to find Shaw and X stays behind ready to freeze the guy as soon as the helmet comes off but--

Well, vengence is just too tempting. 

So when Erik gets Shaws helmet off, X freezes the guy, and he’s ecstatic, at least until he realizes Erik plans on killing Shaw. 

He’s pleading with Erik because this is vengence and he can’t chose that but Erik just puts on the helmet and--taunts Shaw, pulling out the coin Shaw taunted him with all those years ago and in a mimickry of the game Shaw forced him to play as a child and killed his mother over--he slowly floats the coin at Shaws head, telling him “I’m going to count to ten, and all you have to do is move.” 

But he can’t--because X is holding him--and that’s the point, Erik wants him as helpless as he was, and X can’t let his hold on Shaw go because that would mean putting Erik in danger but he’s also in Shaws head so he feels the coin go through his head as though Erik was doing it to him and the fucking cinematography in this scene is so fuaksdjf;laksjd;fjasd;lkfjadsl;asdjf;ljL:DKJFL:SDKJFL:D KFUCKKKKK

This scene is cinematic perfection don’t fucking lOOK at me unless you agree.

T-T and then, it only gets worse, because now Erik’s finally finished his original purpose--killing the man who killed his mother and ruined his life--and now he’s got a new one, aka protecting his new family aka the mutants. 

AND HE’S ONLY PROVEN RIGHT THAT HUMANS ARE A THREAT BECAUSE THEY TURN AND TRY TO KILL ALL THE MUTANTS IN THE PLANE CRASH AND JSUT--

And so he stops all the missiles flying their way, and turns them around on the humans and X has to stop him but he’s not listening and the rawest fucking line in the whole movie comes when X says

“There’s hundreds of men on those ships--innocent men. They’re just following orders!” 

And Erik simply replies, “I’ve been at the mercy of men ‘just following orders’--never again.” 

And then he goes to blow up the shipsthen one of the other characters goes to shoot Erik and he deflects the bullet wtihout thinking right. into. X’s. back. 

Paralysing him. 

And just akjd;fjasdflkjasd;lfkj this scene speaks for itself

Listen just--akjdsf;ljasdlk jguys this movie has no right being this good.

And then the movie closes off with X and Erik literally begging one another to just see it their way--because they both want so badly to be on the same side but they’re too stubborn and they refuse to see compromise and just ajkdf;lja;sdkfja;sdljkfsadlkf

Ok I realize now that I barely talked about DoFP but this is already so long. The major things I was going to bring up was teh absolutely fantastic bitter exes energy that McAvoy and Fassbender bring to that movie it’s excellent but also the fact that X is literally the only person Erik goes out of his way not to kill despite standing directly in the way of Erik’s goal. 

Like, you remember my whole deal with Raven??? yeah that’s x10 in DoFP (which takes place quickly after this movie) yeah so her and Erik are close, and shown to be close, but the second he thinks she endangers his fam he literally 180′s so quick and tries to straight up murder her. 

BUT HE FUCKING BENDS THE BULLET AROUND X’s HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X!!!!!!!!!! WHO’S LITERALLY 100% AGAINST HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST

Ok, that’s all. By the way I don’t want to like, up your expecations too much because I actually kind of hate X-Men: First Class almost as much as I love it?? it’s very..... of it’s era, and cheesy, and dumb--but fucking magneto you guys holy SHIT

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Nights: X-Men Days of Future Past (The Rogue Cut)

This... feels like a deeply complicated film to talk about.  Maybe because I know X-Men so well, it kind of goes beyond do I think this film is good or not.  I don’t... know.  Because I’m not sure I can see it objectively.  But I suppose I do have a lot of feelings.  Do I think it’s a good film? I do think it’s the best X-Men film they made.  Yes.  But is it a great film? No.  I think my biggest problem goes back to the difference between how Fox handles the X-Men films vs how Marvel handles their own properties.  It’s trying to service too many things in the matter of two (and a half) hours.  And the film feels dense and bogged down becomes of it.  

The main crux of the story is based on a two-issue mini arc - The Days of Future Past.  One of the most famous mini arcs of the comics.  And to that, I think the movie does a great job -- as it lifts the themes directly from the comics.  It’s all about fate and free will, as well as dealing what’s always at the heart of X-Men stories -- being different from those around you.  I think thematically, the story does very well.  

The film is a semi-time travel flick (which you guys know I’m always here for a good time travel story), bringing back a lot of the old cast from the original trilogy to hold down the fort while the new cast gets to hang out in the 70s for the bulk of the story -- the connection being, of course, Wolverine. 

I generally like a majority of the stuff set in the 70s.  Wolverine is great, and since he’s not the primary protagonist of this film, he can kind of be the audience involvement to great effect.  James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender return as Xavier and Magneto -- the dueling dynamic that’s the heart of this (semi-)prequel series.  (And it’s a delight to see McAvoy get a small moment with Patrick Stewart.)  And Nicholas Hoult is back as Beast - who is great in the role, as a young Beast still trying to figure himself out. 

Also back, however, is Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique, which... uh.  Now, Mystique is pretty crucial to the original story line, so I don’t mind that she’s in the middle of all of it.  In theory.  But I guess I have two major problems though.  A) the fact that she never gets to wear her famous white, flowy dress, and instead is constantly naked.  That’s just not even practical.  Why?  Why is that a thing? It drives me crazy.  B) I just don’t like Jennifer Lawrence in the role.  I can’t even explain why.  She just bugs me.  

However! I will say, one unexpected delight is Even Peters as Quicksilver.  He’s quite a bit of fun, and I think it’s the one thing that Fox does better than the MCU.  (It’s also the one part of the movie that’s really just a lot of delightful fun overall.)  

Anyway.... The thing about the past portion of the film is that it doesn’t feel like a superhero film, much less an X-Men film.  Which is both good and bad.  It lets the film feel very character driven -- which I think is really cool.  But at the same time, there does feel like an element is missing -- namely, all the rest of the cool characters who don’t really get to be there or involved.  And if I’m being honest - one of the fun parts of these films is seeing the characters use their powers.  

On the other side of things, there’s the future part, which is merely a glimpse of everything.  Which makes sense --- the story, after all, is about the 70s.  It does have some fun superpower action going on.  But everyone is reduced to a glorified cameo.  And while I’m fine not having Halle Berry butcher Storm any more than she has to.  It does make me miss the original characters.  And while it’s nice to see new characters pop up -- like Bishop, Sunspot, Blink, and Warpath, they aren’t given really any kind of character development, and are merely there to look cool when they need to, before ultimately being killed off before the time reset.  

This is also kind of a final bow for Patrick Stewart (though he’ll be back for Logan) and Ian McKellen.  They really don’t get a whole lot to do either - but it is nice to see them on screen together one last time.  

Now... I did watch the Rogue cute, which is about 17 minutes longer.  (As an aside - even without the extra stuff, this film feels a bit draggy at times, and I think the lack of any kind of levity really hurts it.)  Unfortunately, my girl is only in about three extra minutes, however, and doesn’t get a whole lot to do.  It’s nice to see her again, but I’m hoping for a day that they can do a movie with Rogue that gives her her spunky personality and her kick-ass persona.  That would be nice.  

I will say -- I do like the ending reset -- kind of undoing everything that happened in The Last Stand and restoring Jean and Cyclops, as well as giving the future a brighter outlook.  We even get a cool after credits scene of Apocalypse.  It’s a shame, though, that the next two movies are going to be kind a shitty after thoughts of a dying franchise.  

Production wise, I think the film works relatively well.  The CGI isn’t that bad.  Everything is easy to follow, and the film looks overall good.  This film could have an absolute bloated disaster, and I think they handle the balance really well -- even in this extended cut. 

Final Thoughts: I do think overall, it’s an entertaining and solid film.  And I kind of wish X-Men left it here on a good note.  But we all know franchises are meant to be run into the ground... 

Next-Up: Getting Groovy with the Guardians of the Galaxy

[aion-rsa]

Cruella: Does Every Villain Need a Sympathetic Origin Story?

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Clearly this isn’t your parents’ Cruella De Vil. This isn’t even your Cruella De Vil. However, there is something fiendishly charming about seeing Emma Stone charge into a ballroom and light her black and white dress on fire, revealing a chic red number beneath that would do Scarlett O’Hara proud. If fashion is a statement, Cruella is here to say the villain has just arrived!

Yet one can’t help but shake the certainty that by the time we actually learn the plot of Disney’s Cruella reimagining, Cruella will be in anything but black and white, or fiery red. Rather Cruella is obviously posturing to take a sideways approach to an old classic. But then again, that increasingly feels like the only direction these Hollywood redos know: the sympathetic origin story for an iconic villain.

To be clear, we’ve only gotten a glimpse of Stone as the new Cruella, and she looks absolutely fabulous in a black leather coat and cane, purring, “I’m only getting started, darling.” There’s a wildness about this interpretation befitting our current era where Harley Quinn is the hero of her own story, and Wade Wilson now leads a Disney franchise. Nevertheless, when I watch Cruella on the edge of tears in the trailer, barking defiantly that she is CRUELLA—and seemingly embracing an unfair reputation that other characters may be placing on her—a nagging question persists in the back of my head: Do we really need a sympathetic Cruella De Vil?

The trend of supervillains getting intellectual property-expanding sob stories is nothing new, be it at Disney or anywhere else in Hollywood. Maybe 25 years ago when folks liked their villains big and outlandish—think Glenn Close in Disney’s previous live-action remake of 101 Dalmatians—it was novel to see the antagonist become a tragic protagonist. But like everything else with modern blockbusters, that all changed a long, long time ago with something called Star Wars.

Back in 1977 when the original Star Wars movie was released, many audience members left the theater giddy about the world George Lucas created. In a galaxy far, far away, every pop fantasy of the mid-20th century—Wizards! Knights! Princesses! Samurai! World War II ace pilots!—was thrown into a massive cauldron that seamlessly blended these elements.

Luke Skywalker’s galaxy felt like a real place of exotic, lived-in locales, all of which captured that dirt-under-the-fingertips, tactile quality so rarely seen in fantasy stories. Sure the characters might be archetypes, but they came with histories which gave their fantasy space battles human density. Old Ben Kenobi fought in the Clone Wars with Luke’s father Anakin, who was “a gifted pilot.” But what exactly was a clone war? And why was there more than one of them? Also, what did a Jedi’s “more civilized age” look like for Luke’s papa?

For more than 20 years, no one knew the answer to those questions, which made them all the more intriguing, and the “lore” of this fantasy evermore mythic. Then came Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, the first modern blockbuster prequel devoted to filling in the gaps left by a beloved classic’s mysteries. That movie’s problems are numerous, but at its core the most persistent, lingering issue may still be the reveal that Darth Vader was once a blonde haired little boy with the emotional range of Beaver Cleaver. Of course everyone knew in the abstract sense Vader was once a child… but did they ever really want to see it?

Additionally, did anyone really want to learn Anakin Skywalker’s reason for turning to the Dark Side is because of a bratty streak that followed him into adulthood? Probably not.

Nonetheless, all three Star Wars prequels made massive amounts of money and rather than becoming cautionary tales of what happens when you attempt to explain away all the mysteries of a beloved character, they were the first steps toward a modern staple of media regurgitation where seemingly every mug, pug, and thug would get their own sympathetic redo.

Since then, we’ve learned on screen that Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis Venom, is really a well-intentioned bloke caught in a bad romance (with his alien space buddy), Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker is really just a Travis Bickle clone with mommy issues, and Maleficent, the reigning empress of badassery in the Disney Villain canon, was really just a woman scorned by Sleeping Beauty’s toxic father. Even Hannibal Lecter became a victim in Hannibal Rising, and the Wicked Witch of the West starred in the most popular Broadway musical of all time… where it turns out she was the hero in a conspiracy with the Scarecrow to pull one over on Dorothy.

To be clear, some of these spinoffs and reimaginings work quite well. Even if I personally am a bit chagrined at Todd Phillips’ Joker being nominated for Best Picture, Joaquin Phoenix’s sad sack killer clown created the space for a riveting performance that reminded mainstream audiences that movies can still be for adults. In another comic book movie, Magneto’s heartbreaking backstory in the Holocaust was expanded in 2011’s X-Men: First Class, which made an already relatively complex supervillain just that much more compelling in Michael Fassbender’s hands.

Overall, however, this approach has left something to be desired. And to get back to Cruella, her remix as a misunderstood tragic heroine appears to owe most of all to Maleficent. In 2014, Disney made a killing when they cast movie star Angelina Jolie as their very best big bad, a character so evil in 1959’s Sleeping Beauty that she was willing to knockoff a princess simply because no one sent her a party invite. That’s cold. And it’s wickedly entertaining. Hence why Maleficent scared and captivated generations of children.

Some characters are just too good at being bad.

The marketing of Maleficent leaned into this with a melancholic cover of Sleeping Beauty’s Tchaikovsky-inspired theme song, “Once Upon a Dream.” Now in a minor key, the new version sung by Lana Del Rey promised a scarier, more menacing version of the story, which was then confirmed by Jolie’s wonderfully devilish laugh. The big bad was finally going to have her day at the ball.

But when the movie actually came out, we learned that Maleficent was an enchanted fairy who’d been wronged. In the end, she didn’t hate Elle Fanning’s Princess Aurora. In fact, she loved the little royal and tried to save her from the curse she herself cast in a fit of justified anger. Ultimately, the sorceress adopts Aurora as the daughter she never had after disposing of her now abusive father. That’s certainly an interpretation. I guess.

It also proved massively successful in the short term, opening at a staggering $175.5 million in its opening weekend worldwide, and grossing $758 million total. Those numbers also exclude merchandising and home video revenues. If you want to know why we’re getting the punk rock Cruella, look no further.

However, did a lot of folks really like Maleficent? It made all the money in the world based on that devious marketing campaign that promised a shocking tell-all about Disney’s closest approximation to Lucifer, but by the time a sequel limped into theater five years later, relatively few seemed to still care about the misunderstood, freedom fighting warrior fairy Jolie played. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil ostensibly continued the good fight but flopped at the box office with a cume of $491.7 million, barely more than half of what its predecessor made. (Don’t cry for Disney though, as Avengers: Endgame, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and remakes of Aladdin and The Lion King in the same year made Maleficent 2 look like a clerical error.)

What this whole sputtering franchise reminds us though is that some characters are better left bad, and the mystique of the unknown is an end unto itself. While I enjoyed Phoenix’s take on the Joker, there is little argument the character was even scarier with a PG-13 rating when he manifested out of thin air, like Beelzebub, in The Dark Knight. Or to take a step away from just villains, was Han Solo really any cooler when you learned how he got his name in Solo: A Star Wars Story? Or could you have gone your whole life without knowing thanks to The Hobbit movies that Gandalf and Galadriel were kind of, sort of, just maybe friends with benefits?

The allure of Cruella De Vil is right there in her name: She’s a cruel devil. How could she not be when her entire ambition in Disney’s classic 101 Dalmatians is to skin puppies for their fur coats? Finding out she used to fight the power before hoarding it may make a lot of money, but it doesn’t make her necessarily more compelling.

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[thehollowprince]

Extremely broad question: What's your overall opinion about the X-men movies produced by 20th Century Fox? How do you think they handled the franchise? Which movies did you like and which ones did you hate?

20th Century Fox made X-Men movies?

Huh?

I must have missed that.

(shifty eyes)

No, in all seriousness, I don't like to associate those films with the X-Men in any capacity. Those were not the X-Men. They were like the MCU version of Peter Parker and his friends: completely original characters that utilize aspects of the beloved characters to draw people in with a sense of nostalgia while delivering this weird Frankenstein creation.

If we get right down to it,, there were so many things wrong with Fox's attempt to do an X-Men franchise that its hard to try and narrow it down, but I'll do my best.

1: Those Aren't the X-Men!

I said already that those aren't really the characters from the comics that we know and love. They're caricatures of those characters, with just enough of their core attributes there to trick people into seeing these movies. There is no sense of actual teamwork or a Found Family dynamic, which is an intriguing part of the X-Men narrative. Instead, the X-Men of these films act more like the MCU Avengers, a bunch of casual superpowered acquaintances who tolerate each other for the sake of a common goal.

There is no sense of any actual teamwork and the few times the team work together, they're a patchwork of fan favorites plucked from various different incarnations of the team. At first glance, that would be fine because the Team has been very unofficial. There is no standing roster of "active X-Men" in the comics, because its not a job for them. Its usually whoever is at the mansion or is nearby at the time and can help because the mutants are in danger. In the movies, they just threw a bunch of fan favorites together and said "Yeah, that's good enough." There's no attempt to utilize the relationships between the different characters because aside from one or two characters (usually Logan/Wolverine and Magneto) the movies treat the other members of the team as side characters. Place fillers who don't actually get any real stories.

And then there's the casting.

Casting non-Jewish actors to play Jewish characters (Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender for Magneto/Ellen Page for Kitty Pryde) and then butchering them even further (Evan Peters as Peter Maximoff instead of Pietro). And I don't know what the fascination is with making Professor Xavier British (Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy).

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of these actors, but they shouldn't have been cast as these characters that have decades worth of history regarding their ethnicities and cultures.

The biggest one right now is probably Henry Zaga in the role of Roberto Da Costa (aka Sunspot) in The New Mutants movie that will never actually hit theaters. While they did improve somewhat over the last time they introduced the character (played by a Mexican actor despite the character being Brazilian), they completely ignored the fact that Roberto is black. He was introduced as Afro-Brazilian and, as you can see, Henry is not.

In their defense, I myself forgot that Berto was black, because the more modern comics portay him as lighter skinned

See?

But that's not an excuse, and they should have done better.

And while we're on the subject of Roberto, I want to talk about his portrayal in Days of Future Past, namely the fact that this...

... wasn't Sunspot. The powers this character exhibits is more indicitive of Sunfire, a completely different Japanese mutant. Its not just him, as they've done this before with characters like Callisto and Kid Omega and Psyloche in the disastrous The Last Stand. That's another point in favor of The New Mutants, in that, af least they managed to get the powers right, from what I've seen in the trailers.

Sadly, I'm still probably going to see The New Mutants when it comes out, because that's my favorite X-Team and with Disney buying Fox, its probably the only time I'll get to see these characters on a big screen in a staring role.

2: The Timeline

If you ever decide to watch these movies (assuming you haven't already), do yourself a favor and don't attempt to follow the timeline. Time does not flow the same way in those movies as it does everywhere else.

It was fine, at first, until we got to Days of Future Past, at which point they dabbled in a form of time-travel that just made everything so much more confusing. Reintroducing characters and erasing others and then there's the fact thst that the prequels encompass three decades and yet none of the characters seem to age at all.

It was confusing as hell, especially when you factor in Logan and Deadpool, neither of which seem to take place in the actual mainline X-Men timeline(s).

It honestly hurts my head just thinking about it.

3. Directors

I'm going to be honest and say I really considered just titling that Bryan Singer, because he's reason enough to hate this franchise.

Just in case you don't know, Bryan Singer is a predator and a pedophile, sexually abusing several underage men working on his films. The original actor that played Pyro was seventeen or eighteen at the time of the filming of the first X-Men movie and he filed a suit against several of Singer's cronies.

Then there's the more recent story that, during the filming of X2, he took some sort of narcotic before filming one day and got Hugh Jackman injured.

This man also refused to allow any of the comics to be in set, because why would you make a movie based on a long-running comic series and have the source material there. That's just crazy. Granted, it wasn't just him, as the director of Dark Phoenix (Simon Kinberg) reportedly said he never even read the comics the story was based on.

It makes it all the more infuriating when people praise his X-Men movies as the superior ones.

And then there's Brett Ratner, who outed an eighteen-year-old Ellen Page on the set of The Last Stand, and was just all around unpleasant to work with.

TL/DR - the X-Men movies are rather like the MCU, in that there are occasional gems and great visuals in an otherwise steaming pile of shit. I loved the future sequences in DoFP, and the invasion of the X-Mansion in X2, but there comes a point where you have to ask yourself if its worth digging through the shit to find the few good things. I don't hate them, but I don't love them either. I just wanted... more.

[jimmy-o-face]

Dark Phoenix is based around an idea from Days of Future Past

SPOILERS for Dark Phoenix.

I just rewatched the film recently and I noticed something I didn’t catch in the first viewing. Like most of the X-Men films it has an opening narration, but this time the narrator isn’t Charles Xavier but Jean Grey. 

Jean Grey: “Who are we? Are we simply what others want us to be? Are we destined to a fate beyond our control? Or can we evolve, become something more?”

This narration echos the opening narration of X-Men: Days of Future Past, which had Professor X asking if we are destined to be one we are or if can we evolve into change our fate.

Charles Xavier: “Are we destined down this path, destined to destroy ourselves like so many species before us? Or can we evolve fast enough to change ourselves... change our fate? Is the future truly set?”

Both films also have closing narrations that answers this question. That we are ultimately not destined to a fate beyond our control.

Jean Grey: I know who I am now. I am not simply what others want me to be. I am not destined to a fate I can’t control. I evolved beyond this world. This is not the end of me, or the X-Men. It’s a new beginning.

Charles Xavier: The past: a new and uncertain world. A world of endless possibilities and infinite outcomes. Countless choices define our fate: each choice, each moment, a moment a ripple in the river of time. Enough ripples, and you change the tide... for the future is never truly set.

These narrations are referring to a theory about time travel that was mentioned in Days of Future Past by Beast, which led him to believe that Mystique might be destined to be who she is the original timeline.

Beast: There’s a theory in quantum physics that time is immutable. It’s like a river — you can throw a pebble in and create a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do the river just keeps flowing in the same direction. . . .What if the war is inevitable? What if she's meant to kill Trask? What if this is simply who she is?

The filmmakers behind Days of Future Past have commented on this and said that there is some true behind this statement. Such as writer Simon Kinberg in 2014:

The end of Days of Future Past in 1973 does change the timeline of the established film universe.  But one of the things we posit in the film is the immutability of time.  So what you see at the end is a future that has been shifted but not completely transformed.  Our characters are back in the mansion, as we saw them in X1-3, with some obvious changes (like certain characters being alive).  So the answer is yes and no.  Yes it changes the timeline.  No it doesn’t completely erase everything…

And in 2016, Simon Kinberg and Bryan Singers that it is something they are exploring with these prequel films and that they are going in the same general direction as the original trilogy.

Simon Kinberg: It’s not leading necessarily toward exactly where we found Patrick Stewart and the X-Men at the beginning of X-Men 1. There are some things that lead in that general direction, that was part of the philosophy we had at the end of Days of Future Past is that you can’t fully change the course or current of the river, but you can just divert it a little bit, and we diverted it a little bit. So some things will be surprises; people could die that were alive in X-Men 1, 2 and 3, or people could survive that died during 1, 2 and 3.

Bryan Singer: So what I’m doing with these in-betweenqueels is playing with time’s immutability and the prequel concept, meaning that yes we erased those storylines and anything can happen. That means the audience goes into the movie thinking that anything can happen. I mean anything, anyone could die. Any possibility could occur, but characters are still moving towards their immutable place. Jean and Scott, are they meant to be together? Is Scott this guy who hates schools, who ahtes authority, destined to become a leader? You don’t know. Is Jean ever going ot disover the full potential of her power? You don’t know, but we move in those direction character wise but then we have the freedom story wise to do whatever the fuck we want because we erased those three movies.

For example, in both timelines Jean predicts that something bad is going to happen as her powers go out of wack.

Just like Days of Future Past questioned who Mystique was, Dark Phoenix does the same with Jean. Is she meant to become Dark Phoenix and hurt her family like in the original timeline? The blatant X3 parallels will have you thinking that and she does accidentally hurt her family(her mother and Mystique) make it seem that is the case but the answer it ultimately gives is the same as Days of Future Past. Jean does not go down a dark path and instead is the hero thanks to Xavier believing her in this timeline and she saves the day, just like Mystique. He made enough ripples in time to change Jean’s fate and she never becomes the Dark Phoenix.

The film is an exercise of “bait & switch” and it’s very apparent in it’s marketing. Look at the second trailer for example. 

In the trailer Xavier says “she’ll kill us all”, then switches to Jean crushing Magneto’s helmet while he is still wearing it. On the train Magneto says “she’s coming” and switches to the train being attacked but they don’t show you who is attacking, then shows a shot of Jean lifting the train which gives the impression she is the one attacking them.

If you’ve seen the movie you would know that this was all misdirection. They are in fact referring to Jessica Chastain’s character Vuk and the D’Bari empire, the film’s true villains. 

Like Mystique, Jean never really crosses that line and becomes the psycho we see in X3 uses her power to turn her family into dust for no reason. Jean instead uses that power to protect her family. Similar to the Jean we saw in X2, where the X-Men also thought she was dead but in reality she had evolved and became a Phoenix. According to Simon Kinberg it’s about Jean taking control of her destiny. 

Another fresh update in Dark Phoenix that lends to Jean's agency is the absence of Wolverine, the only one who managed to kill Jean in The Last Stand. Kinberg claims that it was a blessing in disguise that Hugh Jackman's character could not possibly be a part of Dark Phoenix after what transpired in Days of Future Past and Logan. "I didn't want a man to be the end of Jean's story. We finally have a female protagonist and this movie is about empowered women. I didn't want a man to be the person to make the final decision for her. I wanted her to make that decision. I didn't want Scott or Charles or Erik or someone else is in control of Jean's destiny. I wanted her to be in control of her own destiny," says Kinberg.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Fanboy au (part5)

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

@sailorstar9

N/A: How Kurt got such fanboy-ish towards Kitty? Also, OCs will be used here. This is sort of a prequel. To be clear, in the Lagos´s situation it has nothing to do with Kurt as this would create bad blood to Kitty for Kurt.

The Duke of Lagos is a man with connections, at this point, if he tells he knows someone that can make you disappear that has many connotations. When the man seizes the throne of Lagos no one dares to say no to such man.

The Duke rules as he sees fit, but, having the care to not being a caricature of a villain, a poor and non-educated people won´t make Lagos be fun to rule, so, schools are created, hospital are made and jobs are created to pay well. It sounds an idyllic place, except, The Duke of Lagos likes to reenact an old tradition of the Romans, the Gladiators, anyone can be thrown in the arenas, children, women, men and animals.

The Duke likes to watch until there´s no one in the arena, such a fun show if it only pleases him. And as much the other Kingdoms dislike such barbed show, if the Duke isn't breaking any international law, they can´t do anything.

One person found this outrageous. One woman saw many people in the arena, lost many people and not really accept that people like Magneto can´t intervene, well, if no one can, she can! The international rules mean nothing to her.

One of the things people aren´t aware or pretend to not know is how Lagos receives huge financial support from Kashow, a Kingdom who is rumoured to be crafted by the Nordic Gods themselves and their leader´s family are a connection with Thor, the God of Thunder.

Lion Glassdown is the descendant of Thor, no one can prove this nor disprove and since no God comes down here to bash his head, it may be true either way, Kashow and Lagos have a good relationship, sometimes Lagos send some of their gladiators to join Kashow´s army. And Kashow offers money.

Lion has no time to think of Lagos, as for now, the man is caught in a political warzone, Proteus and some of Nightcrawler´s students were killed stealing from him, certainly stealing for him, and now Lion is waiting for retribution.

(Sure he put a cramp on Nightcrawler´s plan as Proteus tries to steal one of her gems and is easier for Nightcrawler to get revenge for a failed plan than a student)

“He may try to come, but, we have better defences and our army has been training against zombies, we have a more effective way to defeat him, remember, even the Necromancer has been defeated before” Lion explained roaring like a Lion and his men believe his words, they are strong, they can push back Nightcrawler if is necessary. Is almost as if Lion has a bloodthirsty.

The tower of archery gives the signal someone coming closer. Lion was sure this means the battle will begin.

“Sir, is a woman” the message really did make his smile falter, a woman? What does she want here? Lion sends some of his guards to assist the woman, except she killed them and walks towards the entrance of the Kashow, a citadel that primes to be another world in this world.

The archery shoots their best arrows, who by everyone shocks, phase through the woman. Lion believes she must be the emissary of the Nightcrawler(that leech! Choosing a cute woman to do the dirty work) and is enough to make the man smile again and lift his sword.

“Men! We have company, let´s greet her” Lion speaks and many soldiers get the hit and try to murder her, however, the woman was fast with her sword and claim the lives of the soldiers. Lion is impressed, a good fight is always welcome “what´s your name?”

“My name is Kitty Pryde, and it will be no more of Kashow and no more of that Duke” her tone is firm and no signal of fear in her eyes. Lion is pleased, a good fight is so hard to find.

More soldiers try to take Kitty down, however, she did defeat them. The men are speaking, shouting something, but, all her mind is registering is that Kashow won´t give one single coin to Lagos ever again.

Suddenly, someone manages to impale a spear through Kitty´s stomach, the others are still surprised she is still able to walk after that until she falls. She closes her eyes now, thinking of her parents, thinking of her friends and everyone else who is tortured every day in Lagos and how come no one will save them.

“It was a true battle, Steven, you certainly remember the exercises” Lion´s voice is bombastic as ever and now he´s thinking on what to do with the body, a proper funeral is in order. As a brave man has a shovel ready and the cabbage, yet, the man let the shover drops as the woman lifts from the ground, her eyes are white until her iris rolls back to the place and the hole in her stomach is healed. She´s alive again.

“Ouch!” Kitty speaks making the others feel dread. She´s holding the spear with her own blood on it “It has my blood, can I keep it?”

The battle continues, not the same, as now the soldiers refuse to touch this woman,Lion is fighting her now and refuses to admit the fear(A Necromancer who looks like the devil, hell, he may be the devil, is something is prepared, however, THIS! whatever this is...is not)

“I´ll free Lagos, I´ll free my people” Kitty repeats as her sword breaks Lion´s sword and his bow does nothing, Kitty phases anything until her sword is touching, drawing blood already, Lion´s neck “Will you stop your alliance with the Duke?”

“No” is the honest reply and Kitty nods appreciating an honest reply and killing Lion.”A piece of advice, who is caught helping the Duke, will have to answer me, got it?” the other men nod understanding the situation.

Kitty has no time to ponder on what to do with Kashow, should she conquer it? Well, she has no place to stay the night. She can give the proper funeral to the others, after all, the Monster-Slayer guild kick her out (in the rudest way) and it would be 3 days of travel to her home(still under that tyrannic man)

Much later, a week after the incident, one of the Nightcrawler´s spies make contact with the Necromancer with odd news.

“A woman kill Lion? In one go?” Kurt repeat what the spy just said “and conquered Kashow? In one day?!” A monster-Slayer who did that now that earns Kurt´s attention “What´s her name?”

“Kitty Pryde,” the spy said the name and saw Kurt repeating the name amused, then the spy asked, “I got to ask, Lion was expecting an attack, would you really attack him?”

“No, I did resurrect Proteus and the others as we did find another solution, now, of course, I could have killed the man himself, and Lion gone can help my plans greatly...Someone already conquers Kashow, one day?” Kurt is not left to muse. Who is this Kitty Pryde?

The Spy talked about the resurrection but Kurt didn´t believe, sure, the rumours are overreacting or are just a metaphor.

[briangroth27]

Back to the MCU Part 2: The X-men

I’m absolutely looking forward to Dark Phoenix and New Mutants—I’ve loved or really liked all of the X-men movies except two and I’m sad to see the franchise end—but I’m also looking forward to the X-men joining the MCU. I was skeptical of the fan insistence that Spider-man would be inherently better just because Homecoming was part of the MCU and I was proven wrong, but I’m still not sure that the X-men going home will be a magical improvement. The Fox-films aren’t perfect, but they’re not the worthless dreck a lot of people make them out to be either and it’ll be a shame to lose all the good things about them (unfortunately along with The Gifted in all likelihood). Still, this is what’s happening and I’ll always be excited for new X-men adventures: they’re my favorite comics and I love seeing them brought to life! In a perfect world, we’d get a new X-men TV series (heck, both a live-action one and a new animated series) because there are just too many characters to explore over a trilogy or two of movies, but for these purposes, I’m going to assume they’ll only be doing X-films.

Full spoilers for the Fox-verse and MCU up to this point....

X-men Origins How should mutants appear in the MCU? This is super-simple: they just do.

There’s always been a handful around, like Xavier, Magneto (their ages and Erik’s Holocaust experience can be explained by saying they knew a mutant who could rejuvenate others), Apocalypse, Shadow King, etc., but mutants are just now starting to appear en masse. They’re a new and mysterious global phenomenon. Importantly, they’re a natural evolution and the most “cause” that should ever be given is the real-life explanation for evolutionary mutation: a reaction a hostile environment. Sure, you could say Thanos’ Snap created that type of environmental condition, but no one should be responsible for making mutation happen. This is something I strongly believe has to hold true: mutants can’t be created in a lab somewhere or Snapped back into existence “wrong” or have their X-genes turned on by Scarlet Witch or something. If anything like that happens, mutants automatically lose their “we’re natural, normal, and we’re supposed to be here” argument. It’s why the Inhumans aren’t really a great substitute for the mutants-as-minorities metaphor: even though the present-day Inhumans were born that way, they can still be traced back to experiments the Kree conducted on humans. Mutants, however, are completely normal and exactly what they’re supposed to be. Also, it’s that lack of an “explanation” that scares normal people and separates mutants from the other superheroes in the MCU. Bigots can write off a radioactive spider bite or a gamma accident as powers that happened to “those poor people,” but the X-men showing up and saying “this is who we are naturally, our powers come from the core of our being, and we’re the future?” That scares them and brings out the hate. That last point is just as much a source of fear as the others: just look at how white supremacists in real life scream about “being replaced” by Jewish people, Muslims, immigrants, etc.

I’ve been asked on Twitter how the common MCU people would be able to tell that the X-men are any different from the Avengers (Thor vs. Storm was the example I was given), and the answer’s in the characters. Storm and the rest of the team would absolutely self-identify as mutants, feeling they shouldn’t have to pass as aliens/accidents for an easier life (in addition to their stated goal of proving that mutants can be trusted). With that pride and the insistence that mutants are the future, bigoted reactions would mimic LGBTQIA hate: "Why should we cater to a minority? They should be committed/cured, not supported, coddled, and allowed to continue living in their delusions,” etc. People's kids being mysteriously powered is also a much scarier concept than an alien the public barely interacts with (Ragnarok having civilians know about Thor and Jane’s relationship status still rings false to me, unless Darcy’s been blogging). Thor's an external anomaly to the everyday MCU citizen and while the Avengers might accidentally wreck your town, mutants could be in your family and are an intimate threat to The Way Things Are.

I’ve also been asked how you square Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver with Magneto if the X-men just appear now rather than being rebooted into the history of the MCU, and that’s simple too. They aren’t his kids anymore in the comics, so you might not even need to explore that connection in the movies. If they do want to, he could be a secret parent they didn’t know about. They still don’t have to be mutants since their origin is tied to Loki’s scepter. Either way, Wanda’s continued presence in the MCU is not a continuity deal-breaker.

First Class While the idea I’ve seen tossed around of the team suddenly snapping into view after Xavier has been psychically hiding them from the world for years would be a cool reveal, I don’t think they’ll want to burn all the A-list X-men by introducing them as adults. IMO, the X-men are going to be the backbone of multiple future MCU phases since the big-name Avengers are winding done, so they’re going to want to cast X-teens who can grow with the MCU. They’ll also want to start at the beginning and (hopefully) really dig into the team finding its groove, learning as they go. I’ve enjoyed the Fox prequel trilogy immensely so far, but jumping 10 years between each film takes the wind out of proper development arcs. Showing the team’s learning curve as superheroes would also set them apart from the Avengers, who have personality conflicts but essentially came to the team as polished heroes.

Fox’s prequel X-team is a pretty perfect lineup in terms of characters, so I wouldn’t change the core roster much (though I do expect everyone to be recast). We’d meet the X-men as they’re recruited, allowing the film to both touch on the world mutants are living in and to show who these kids were outside the mansion. That’ll not only show the healing effect of having other kids like them in their orbit, but will also emphasize how important the school is as a safe haven (and found family) from the rest of the world. One area where Fox’s films have fallen short (and The Gifted has excelled) is showing what the common people’s reaction to mutants is, rather than just sticking with the military’s thoughts, and I hope the MCU follows that show’s lead.

While every teenager (and even every adult) can relate to the X-men’s outsider status, mutants are also (and most importantly) supposed to represent the oppressed in our society and the next cast should reflect that. So, I’d do a lot of race and sexual orientation switches. For example, Cyclops should be Native Alaskan. He’s closely tied to that region in the comics, Summers isn’t the real family name (it was chosen by an immigrant ancestor in the comics and here could be an example of his family trying to assimilate), and the pressure to be a “model minority” would mesh perfectly with Scott’s constant drive to be a straight-laced boy scout who thinks he’d be useless if he failed. I’d let the comics’ subtext about Storm being bi or pansexual be text here. I’d also stick closer to her having been a “goddess” as well as a thief; she should be the one mutant in history that ruled humans without fear or violence so she can be a voice of reason and experience on the team. Nightcrawler could be updated into a swashbuckling street performer who’s a little internet-famous (part of a growing mutant youth subculture) in addition to his religious struggles. He could also be a positive role model in how he embraces and celebrates his physical differences (like he did on X-men Evolution), no matter who calls him a demon. Kurt could be any race as long as he’s from Germany, though I kinda like the idea of one of the few white guys being blue the whole time. Rouge would definitely start out as a villain if I were writing it. She doesn’t necessarily need to be white and making her an African-American teen from Mississippi could grant her a whole new perspective on the mutants-as-minorities idea: her loss of memories and self could reflect the black American experience of not knowing where your ancestors came from or what their culture was. I also think her reaction to meeting a literal queen who’s also a black woman would be pretty great; Storm could be a role model for her once she starts to reform (and maybe punk Storm could come from interacting with Rogue’s more fun-loving persona). Those new aspects could potentially bolster the outsider feeling she’ll already have thanks to her powers acting like a disease that forbids her from making unencumbered contact with others, so she could be relatable on several fronts.

New Mutants Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Rogue would be my core team throughout all the films, but there’d be room for others as well. Jean’s another favorite of mine and it’d be cool to see her without the Phoenix as a predetermined end-point in mind for a while. I’ve seen it pointed out on Twitter that one of her biggest assets is her empathy, so let her use that to promote human/mutant understanding and use her comic origin story to drive her towards not letting anyone die. Gambit would be a lot of fun (and, in keeping with making things more diverse, the movies could go through with an intended comic development that he’d be bi), but I would definitely not adapt his charm power: there’s just too much room for that to get rapey to even try including it (plus, he shouldn’t need a power to be charming). Being a roguish thief with a heart of gold would play well against both the X-men and the gruff Wolverine when he’s introduced. Jubilee is more than deserving of a larger, more active role after being a glorified cameo so many times; maybe she eventually becomes the PR face of the school? Iceman’s always been another favorite of mine and his deep-seated denial of his homosexuality would bring another realistic touch to the team. Polaris, X-23, Honey Badger, Eclipse, Quicksilver (who I guess is dead, though; it’s a shame we have to leave the superior cinematic one behind in the Fox-verse), Domino, Bishop, Beast, Firestar, Psylocke, Shadowcat, etc. …the list of great characters in this franchise goes on and on and they’d all be welcome; this is why there needs to be a show, not just films!

Logan, the Wolverine We should get to Wolverine at some point—he’s another one of my favorites and there’s no denying he’s the most popular mutant—and I’d play up the parallels between him and Scott rather than focus on the love triangle with Jean. But first, I want them to hold off on Logan and maybe not even introduce him until something like the third movie. Let the rest of the team breathe and become an ensemble before reintroducing a new Wolverine, who’ll instantly be saddled with comparisons to arguably the most iconic version of the character: Hugh Jackman’s. They’d spend most of their time justifying the new Logan and I worry that the rest of the characters would be sidelined again. Instead, let’s see all of them get the chance to be as fleshed-out and celebrated as Logan is, then add him in and watch as the franchise gets even bigger from there. Maybe a way around Logan stealing the X-spotlight is to do something unorthodox (yet with enough comic precedence to appease the fans) and introduce him in an Avengers movie first. Maybe the Avengers could take the place of Alpha Flight in the MCU (or maybe they’d do something totally unexpected and just make an Alpha Flight movie). Personally I’d like to see a Logan who was absolutely horrible in his past—an animal occasionally pointed in the right direction—who then had the mind-wipe truly make him a better person who’s out to atone for a life he doesn’t remember. I think that would be compelling and would make the mind-wipe matter. Edit: I thought it might work to make Logan a POC to reflect real-life atrocities and experimentation carried out against minorities, but “violent rage machine who becomes a hero after (probably white) scientists torture him and erase his identity” would be a terrible message since you could say it argues they improved him. If he were innocent before Weapon X it would be different (and possibly a comment on the damage white people have inflicted on just about everyone else); I guess it depends on what they want Logan's story to be and what effect Weapon X has on him (and there should be an effect, not that X-men Origins nonsense where he's essentially the same person on both sides of it). If he's an angry white guy who's improved by forgetting who he was/the society that made him that way, that could be an interesting comment on the white male rage we see so much of today too.

Dark Phoenix, Apocalypse (and other X-threats) I definitely don’t want to see Magneto right away (though he’s the best villain in fiction). On film, we need a break from him (though if they wanted to make him Xavier’s co-leader of the X-men for an extended period, I’d be interested). I genuinely liked Mystique’s character development into just that position in the prequel films, but when she returns in the MCU it should be as a villain first (and certainly as Kurt’s mom—or why not his dad, as originally planned?—and Rogue’s adoptive mother). Stryker, the Sentinels, and the Phoenix Saga should all be held off until far down the road as well.

I wish I could remember who on Twitter suggested it, but I love the idea of using conversion therapy as the basis for an X-men villain, so that’s how I’d open the series (let’s call these films The Uncanny X-men, for argument’s sake). Use Mesmero as one of two main villains, mind-controlling mutants into thinking that they don’t have powers to the point where they subconsciously shut down their access to them (like Iceman did to himself after House of M). Do this through Legion-esque twisty, mind-bending psychic sequences (so we can see each character’s inner fears and character traits), but mixed with real-world conversion therapy horrors. Once Mesmero’s phase is completed, the “cured” mutants are thrown into an elaborate deathtrap/maze to make sure they can’t access their powers anymore…this would be a Murderworld designed by an updated Arcade! That would provide the bombastic third act after the Mesmero stuff gives us some great character work. Xavier sends the team in to investigate this process (maybe it’s set on Genosha) and they meet Rogue there, who’s also undercover but for Mystique, out to kill everyone involved whereas the X-men want to expose the torture and shut it down peacefully to be a good example. You could start to argue whether the X-men being upstanding superheroes allows them to go far enough with a third party like Rogue/the Brotherhood.

My second movie would feature Mr. Sinister and his attempts to keep up with mutants by experimenting on himself to give himself powers. I’d make it a cultural appropriation metaphor, by having Sinister create agents for the government (the Freedom Force seems like an appropriate right-wing name and it looks like they might be needed to step in where the Avengers leave off after Endgame) who are heroes and celebrated by the public, whereas the X-men are still hated. The X-men would of course resent the popular “mutates” taking what made them special and being celebrated for it while they’re still hated. If the first movie is about the X-men fighting to prove they should be here, the second would be about mutants establishing their own culture (and the burgeoning mutant subculture would absolutely be a part of this). It’d also be about humans artificially clinging to relevance and fearing losing their status in society (extremely relevant to a huge problem with white society in America today), while larger sci-fi themes about moving toward the future of humanity via evolution are explored through Sinister. Sinister’s base would absolutely be in the Savage Land so we could see X-men vs. dinosaurs: in addition to just being fun and cool (and big business, if the Jurassic World movies are any indication), dinosaurs would metaphorically represent the human race. They’d be a constant reminder of the extinction and irrelevance Sinister is trying to outthink. Perhaps Sauron could be a minor villain in that setting. Since I wouldn’t want to do Phoenix yet, a Madelyne Prior story might be better for this new era (maybe she’s one of Sinister’s Freedom Force mutates). If they don’t want to do the Captain Marvel/Rogue animosity—and I’m not sure I want to see Carol lose her memories and herself again, though you could create a bond between the two of them over Carol being manipulated by the Kree and Rogue by Mystique (maybe that’s how they’d finally resolve their hatred?)—another of Sinister’s mutates being called Warbird and having flight/super-strength would be a fine substitute for Rogue to get her iconic powers and send her to the X-men for help.

As we get into Uncanny 3, I’d do Onslaught, but a more streamlined version that doesn’t involve the Heroes Reborn thing. I’d rather it be confined to the X-men, but since we’re in the MCU now it’d be a good opportunity for the teams to team up. My Onslaught wouldn’t be a Magneto/Xavier mind-meld, but a Xavier who finally lost hope in his dream and decided to force humans to accept mutants. I think Xavier screwing with the team, implanting false memories to manipulate them, sow discord, etc. would be a lot of fun…and a chance to have Rogue be the big damn hero because of her mental training to suss out her actual personality (in these films I’d dedicate time to the team actively helping her try to control her abilities and rediscover herself). A psychic threat would also be a nice bookend to the team’s first film and a response to “how impactful can the X-men be as true-blue heroes?,” while defeating Xavier would be a natural end to this chapter as the team goes on to new adventures under Scott and Ororo’s leadership.

Once we’ve explored new threats, I’m fully open to digging into Magneto, Apocalypse (hopefully maintaining his “I’m trying to save you all by forcing conflict to evolve you” delusion), Stryker, the Sentinels, Mystique, Shadow King, Juggernaut, Sabretooth, Omega Red (who hasn’t been used yet), etc. again. Whatever they do, I hope the MCU goes big and explores all facets of the X-universe, like Genosha, Asteroid M, the Morlocks, the Brood, Madripoor, Mojo, etc. The X-world is a rich one unto itself, so Disney should let it shine and really flesh out the MCU beyond the real-world boundaries they’ve lived in so far and are only just now starting to venture from (at least on Earth). When we do get to Phoenix again, I hope it’ll be a natural evolution and Jean’s quest to make the world better so no one has to die again, not a cosmic space bird trying on feelings or a secret evil split personality (as an early X3 idea pitched, my Jean would evolve into the comics’ cosmic force).

United I absolutely don’t want some sort of Avengers vs. X-men thing. Who wants the Avengers turned into the militant arm of a bigoted government or something? No matter how you slice it, the X-men represent minorities/PoC/the oppressed, so making the Avengers fight them just seems wrong and automatically tips them toward being agents of oppression. If you lean too far into “mutant powers really are dangerous” to justify the Avengers fighting them, the X-men lose their social relevance. At “best,” you’ll have the Avengers making an argument along the lines of “protests that cause property damage are just as bad as the racists/social inequality they’re protesting,” which is not a good look for anyone. Plus, I’m just sick of heroes fighting heroes.

I wouldn’t do House of M or X-men vs. Inhumans either: extinction events not perpetrated by bigots trying to pull off genocide undercut the metaphor of mutancy. The X-men represent oppressed minorities, not snow leopards.

Deadpool: The Last Stand While it would be absolutely crazy if Dark Phoenix ended with Jean re-creating the Fox-Earth into the MCU or something, I don’t think the Fox-verse will get that kind of send-off. Aside from Dark Phoenix, New Mutants (which looks very spooky-cool but who knows if it will be released in theaters or on Hulu), and The Gifted (which will almost certainly be cancelled, sadly) the big dangling thread of the Fox-verse is the still-popular Deadpool. Legion will be ending after Season 3 and I think it’s safe to say Gambit, Shadowcat, Multiple Man, etc. are dead at this point, and that’s probably for the best if Disney wants to create a unified vision and start fresh.

However, a Deadpool 3 (or X-Force) film should definitely still happen, and I have an idea to help the characters (and actors) we love from those movies make the jump to the MCU intact. I think DP3/X-Force should be an adventure on Mojoworld! Deadpool’s probably the only live-action property that would be willing to go all-in on Mojo, so they should be the one to take the dive (especially now that Shatterstar’s mentioned it exists). Everyone gets abducted and the writers can go extremely meta with it. They could structure it similarly to the first Mojo episode of the 90s X-men cartoon, but with jokes about Hollywood’s obsession with sequels, reboots, and the franchise wars (as well as society’s relationship with the media). They could also joke about fan fears about Disney making them PG-13 (though I think those fears are unfounded), via some Good Place-esque censorship. Mojo’s televised world could also allow for cameos galore from the Fox-films, including the much-desired Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds team-up. This isn’t how I’d prefer to see those actors together for the last time, but since it seems like the only option I’d take it. And at the end of this Mojoverse adventure? The Fox-verse is “cancelled,” leaving Wade and friends to be dumped into the MCU. You could cherry-pick the Fox timeline for favorites to save here: Wade, Domino, Negasonic, Colossus, Blind Al, Vanessa, Cable, Dopinder, both Yukios, and Laura/X-23 would all be welcome IMO (alternatively, I’ll take people like Zazie Beetz and Dafne Keen getting cast as Domino and Laura again in the MCU, just with new origins). If there’s a way to get The Gifted characters—especially Polaris and Eclipse—to the MCU too (if Blink’s season 2-ending portal doesn’t do it and make that group the MCU’s Exiles; seeing them come from a hardened anti-mutant world into an MCU where mutants are just starting to pop up in large numbers would be a really cool switch for them), I’m all for that as well. You could even give X-Force’s appearance in the MCU some narrative impact by forcing Xavier to accelerate his plan for the X-men to go public to counteract Deadpool’s team in the public eye, since Wade is not the guy you want at the center of the mutant rights effort.

Days of Future Past I realize most of this won’t happen (especially my ideas for the movies, but hey Disney, if you want some X-novels give me a call), but it’s a vision of the X-Franchise’s future I’d like to see. The big things are that mutants should just appear naturally, Disney should be open to casting and writing the characters more diversely than they’ve been in the comics (a consideration I’d extend to the franchise’s creators behind the scenes and soundtrack as well, though the main theme should absolutely be the 90s Animated Series theme!), and the MCU should take the time to dig into every aspect of the franchise rather than immediately hitting beats Fox has already covered. There are a lot of socially-relevant angles to tackle the X-men world with, and I want to see them all explored. The Disney/Fox deal is officially finalized on March 20, so we’ll soon see how the X-men will fit in. 

Whatever happens, I’m excited to see Dark Phoenix and I can’t wait to see more X-adventures in the MCU!

What do you think? What do you want to see from the X-men in the MCU?

Check out more of my theories, reviews, and original short stories here!

[langernameohnebedeutung]

What are you looking forward to most in Dark Phoenix?

Definitely Magneto’s anarcho-forest commune on Genosha. The whole camp-on-a-tropical-island-thing would merit a tv show on its own imo. It has so much potential - think about it. Super-powered people from all over the world starting their own nation somewhere off the radar? Using their powers to survive and creating their own society? So much world-building could be done there (which they probably won’t I have no illusions) It’s so cool. Especially since Magneto seems to surround himself with the same twenty-something punks as he did in the Last Stand so what could go wrong. 

Obviously it will be different from the Genosha we know from the comics, but maybe that means it will be spared its fate in the end. Still, we know that in the comics, Mags became leader of Genosha because the UN wanted to appease him and honestly, if in he movies the world recognises this football field-sized island as a genuine nation state to shut Magneto up....iconic. Especially considering Magneto’s impractical, ideology-focussed leadership style mixed with the reality of surviving on such an island? what could go wrong. 

The new X-Men is something I also look forward too. Especially with Mystique as their leader, because so far she’s only been on her own in the prequels or with a group, but never leading one, so that would be cool. Also maybe we will find out more about where she came from in the movies. Like ... her backstory is only that she showed up in Charles’ kitchen one day, but I’d really like to see more, maybe.

I’m....really on the fence about Jean, honestly? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really looking forward to having a female lead in an x-men movie again (like the first movie kinda centred around Rogue and her perspective at first until the audience became more familiar with the other characters) but they didn’t give her much characterisation in XMA so I’m worried they will just make her...Phoenix Girl and skip all humanisation for a) plot-reasons b) to make it easier to kill her off. But if they give her the screen-time and characterisation she deserves then I’m really excited about her. 

Also I’m looking forward to the answer what happened to the X-Men and the Brotherhood and...mutants in general in Logan and The Gifted. Where did they disappear off to? And what happened between First Class and Days of Future Past? And what is going on with the Hellfire CLub? If we get these answers. Which I hope.

Oh, and Hank actually getting a storyline for once and him and Charles falling apart for a while.

There is also the...funeral thing - we know that someone is going to die and I actually heard a pretty convincing rumour about who it’s going to be and. That’s something I’m really not looking forward too. 

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #173 - X-Men: Days of Future Past

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #294

Format: Blu-ray

1) The film marks Bryan Singer’s return to the franchise he helped to start, making it his first X-Men film since X2. He was a producer on X-Men: First Class and originally Matthew Vaughn was slated to direct this film. But Vaughn dropped out to speak with Lucasfilm about Star Wars: Episode VII before focusing his efforts on Kingsman: The Secret Service allowing Singer to step back into the director’s chair.

2) Magneto, Xavier, every mutant in the X-Men films (especially the original trilogy) had fears about war. The X-Men tried to avoid it while Magneto was preparing to win it. Well now everyone’s worst fears have come to past in a dark and desolate future were Magneto was right and the X-Men are forced to band together.

3) John Ottman’s theme from X2 plays in the opening credits, making this film feel like a triumphant return to form from the get go. It fills the audience with an energy, hope, and even nostalgia that helps make the film as great as it is. While I absolutely adore Henry Jackman’s score for First Class, Ottman’s theme has now become the (unofficial?) theme for the franchise in a lot of ways.

4) We’re off to a strong start with the movie’s opening action sequence.

This film features - by far - the best action sequences in the entire franchise. It embraces the powers of its mutant characters in a way no film has before it. This leads to incredible visuals and extended action scenes which never lose the audiences interest. It does what some films (The Last Stand) have failed to do before: show off the X-Men’s powers in incredible and memorable ways. The opening action sequence alone feels like something out of a comic book or (dare I say?) the 90s animated series. Characters like Iceman and Colossus have finally reached the full potential of their mutant powers, making good on a promise any X-Men film makes. New characters too have small roles but are wildly memorable. Blink, Sunspot, Warpath, and Bishop come across as unique with not a lot of lines and not a lot of screen time. But they have an impact because of the visuals of their powers/fighting styles.

From a storytelling standpoint the opening scene also works to set the stakes of the film. We understand immediately how much of a threat these sentinels are, they are able to massacre an entire squad of mutants with relative ease. If it weren’t for Kitty’s ability to send people back in time this war would be over very quickly. The dark tone and sense of dread this future has is established immediately through the action sequence, making the rest of the film carry that weight in a conflict driven/interesting way.

5) I am so impressed and so grateful that this film was able to get all the original cast back they wanted. Kelsey Grammer couldn’t participate because of scheduling conflicts with Transformers: Age of Extinction (ew), but most of these actors have gained a higher price tag since X-Men: The Last Stand. Ellen Page in particular is a critically acclaimed and Oscar nominated actress who comes back for what is essentially a supporting role, but she (like the rest of the returning cast) commits to it all the same. It provides a nice amount of fan service which also feeds into the story and I love it.

6) It is so weird for me to hear Patrick Stewart Xavier talk about this.

Professor X: “I knew [Mystique] as Raven...she was like a sister to me.”

He never talked about her like that in the original trilogy, it first came up in the First Class prequel. But it adds something to Professor X’s character: he walls parts of himself and his past off for the sake of the future.

Note: In this post Patrick Stewart will be referred to as Professor X and James McAvoy will be referred to as Charles.

7) The decision to send Logan back instead of Kitty might upset Kitty Pryde fans and comic book purists (as Kitty was the one to go back in the original storyline), but I think it makes the most amount of sense. The original story was published in the 80s or 90s and Kitty came back from 2013 into her younger body. Movie Kitty has no younger body in 1973 but Logan does. So that’s why it makes sense from an in world decision, but also from a filmmaking standpoint it makes sense too. Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine is the face of the X-Men films primarily, with only one film up to this point not having him in a prominent role. So it makes sense to put stock in his character as you have in the past. My biggest regret though is that I do LOVE Kitty Pryde and so it would’ve been nice to see her do more, but she still serves a more important role in this film than she does in The Last Stand.

8) I absolutely love this.

Professor X: “Logan, you’re going to have to do for me what I once did for you.”

I am a sucker for character development and having watched now seven X-Men films in a row seeing Wolverine in this role is incredible to me. This was the guy who originally wanted to ditch the X-Men, who was a loner and who primarily looked out for Rogue. Even with that he was mostly out for himself? Now. He’s invested. He’s older, a bit wiser (if not perfect), and gets to repay the kindness Professor X showed him by helping Charles along his way. It puts him in a new role, a role he’s not all too comfortable with, but it is just so damn interesting and I love everything about it.

9) The extended prologue in 2023 as well as the fact that this film will cut back to that time occasionally helps make this film a worthy ending to the cast and characters first introduced in X-Men. It could’ve ended that series entirely, a farewell tour for all the actors we came to love in their respective parts. Despite this, at its core this film - more than anything else - is a sequel/continuation of the story set in place by X-Men: First Class. Doing both of these things is no easy feat but the film is able to pul it off beautifully.

10) Peter Dinklage as Bolivar Trask.

Dinklage is one of the finest American actors around right now, notable for his work in “Game of Thrones”. And his performance as the villainous Trask gives us the best X-Men villain since William Stryker in X2. While I do LOVE Sebastian Shaw in First Class, there is something fundamentally more unsettling in Dinklage’s performance. He is chilling, focused, intimidating. You know this is not a guy you want to mess with. And Dinklage himself has a unique look on the character. This according to IMDb.

According to Peter Dinklage, Bryan Singer picked him to play Bolivar Trask because of his height, stating, "With my dwarfism, I'm a bit of a mutant. I can't move metal or anything, but I thought of it as self-loathing. Deep down, Trask is quite sensitive about that aspect of himself."

11) Mystique in Saigon.

The scene of Mystique saving a group of mutants in Saigon from being shipped off to Trask (including Lucas Till’s return as Havok) works really well for a number of reasons. First of all: it helps not only re-introduce her character but also her motivations for this film. She has gone through a lot between First Class and now so this scene helps to establish just exactly this NEW Mystique is. She’s one with a lot of pain, working towards avenging the loss of her friends. Mystique is also much more of a fighter in this film than in First Class, with her choreography and skills leaning much closer to what we would expect from Rebecca Romijn. She has been pushed up to the point of no return but hasn’t crossed that line yet and that’s what this film is about. If she’s going to become the Mystique she does in the original timeline or if this is her second chance. The writing for her character is conflict filled and amazing, I absolutely love it.

12) Logan really needs to give people a spoiler warning about their futures.

Logan [before punching out Beast]: “You and I are going to be good friends.”

13) And because he’s Wolverine, it doesn’t take long for Logan to cause shit.

(GIFs originally posted by @ofsagitta)

14) James McAvoy’s return as Charles Xavier.

So First Class was really about Erik becoming Magneto, this is about Charles becoming Professor X. We have never seen the character so low, he has never been so low. He is a broken man with the events of First Class changing him more than he - or the audience - even expected. He tried soldiering on but the war in Vietnam led to his school being shut down. Charles is wallowing in pain, in self pity, he is exactly what Professor X said he was: as lost as Logan used to be. Hell, he’s a drug addict! The serum to give him his legs is a not-so-subtle parallel for drug use. There is a great conflict there, a great pain, and it leads to an incredible story.

15) This is kind of a perfect representation of how continuity works in the X-Men films. The movie tries to remember something from the past, tries to have continuity track, only to get something about it wrong and make everything more confusing.

(GIFs originally posted by @mcavoying)

In fairness the original line in the First Class script WAS, “Fuck off!” but First Class was released three years before Days of Future Past meaning they knew that wasn’t the actual line for a while. Granted I’m probably just nitpicking.

16) In this film we learn that Emma Frost, Zoe-Kravitz-Angel (as opposed to the Angel from The Last Stand and Apocalypse), Azazel & Banshee are all dead by the hands of Bolivar Trask. Which is sickening and heartbreaking but left a unique opportunity which Apocalypse never took with the characters. I’ll talk about it briefly now but go in depth during my Apocalypse post but in the comics Apocalypse’s Four Horsemen are resurrected dead characters. Using this to bring back the four mutants I just listed would have been a smart move I think.

17) Let’s share what IMDb has to say about the rights to Quicksilver:

The addition of Evan Peters as Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver to the cast sparked wide discussion over the direction of the character who is also slated to appear in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). Quicksilver had been discussed previously as a potential character in both X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) and The Avengers (2012), but legal complexities over the license to the character resulted in his omission from both films. However, in May 2013 both Marvel and Fox Studios announced a resolution to the previous legal issues, and that Quicksilver would appear in this film as well as an Avengers sequel, though under certain parameters: no reference to Quicksilver's membership in the Avengers can be made in an "X-Men" film, and no allusion to his relations to the X-Men or Magneto (the character's father) can be made in an "Avengers" film; the rights agreement between Fox and Marvel even goes so far as to stipulate the character cannot be referred to as a "mutant" in any Marvel film. Additionally, the day after the announcement of Peters's casting, Marvel and Fox entered into a legal standoff over provisions of the rights agreement for the character, including the issue of whether Peters would be allowed to portray Quicksilver in any other film outside the "X-Men" franchise, possibly necessitating a second actor to play Quicksilver in any Marvel film, resulting in two different versions of the same character appearing in two competing film series. Ultimately, Fox and Marvel decided to cast different actors in the part for the "X-Men" and "Avengers" films, with Aaron Taylor-Johnson taking on the role in the latter sequel, thus preventing any connection between the two franchises and keeping the X-Men confined to a separate universe from those of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

18) Evan Peters as Quicksilver.

No, I said EVAN PETERS as Quicksilver!

That’s better. Anyways: Evan Peters’ performance as the speedster is the definite scene stealer in the film. His screen time doesn’t amount to much - with a more significant role in 2016′s X-Men Apocalypse - but every time he’s on screen you are drawn to him. The character is wonderfully fun, with his smart assery amusing to us as the audience without being totally annoying. There’s a unique and vibrant energy that Peters brings to the character which is 100% captivating. By far one of the best new elements of this film.

19) Peter Parker could learn something from this.

Quicksilver [to Erik]: “I’m holding your neck so you don’t get whiplash.”

Erik: “What?”

Quicksilver: “Whiiiiiiplasssssshhhh!”

20) Okay, so Logan knocks out a bunch of Pentagon guards with a frying pan. Is it wrong that this is the only thing I could think of?

21) Oh boy....

(Screenshot taken from a GIF set originally posted by @barrel--rider)

22) It is unique and conflict filled to see Charles filled with such intense hate/loathing towards Erik when Professor X always has hope for his, “old friend,” Magneto.

Charles [upon first meeting Erik]: “I’m never getting inside that head again.”

Note: In this recap Michael Fassbender’s character shall be referred to as Erik while Ian McKellen’s shall be referred to as Magneto.

23) THE QUICKSILVER SCENE!!!!!

This is without a doubt the best scene in the entire film and it is absolutely brilliant across the board. Like the earlier fight scenes it takes the concept of mutant powers and is able to translate it into absolutely phenomenal visuals. From a technical standpoint the scene is a masterpiece, as the seams are practically invisible. It’s hard to make, but you don’t want the audience to know that. Which makes it all the more impressive that it seems so relaxed. The scene pulls your interest and never lets go, using music and point of view in absolutely stellar ways. How boring would this scene have been if it were from Erik’s point of view? Or Charles’? The most interesting way to do this moment is through Quicksilver and that’s what we get. It is intelligent, organic, full of small surprises, and despite its short length is strong as hell. If they were to teach this class in film schools some day, I would not be surprised.

Although it does raise the question: why don’t they just bring Quicksilver to Paris? It seems like he’d be really helpful.

24)

Erik [looking at Wolverine’s bone claws]: “Imagine if they were metal.”

25) Erik and Charles having it outis very key to the film. Right now the audience sees Erik as the one who messed up. Taking away Charles’ legs, getting arrested for killing the president, etc. But Charles needs to know he’s made some pretty crucial mistakes.

Charles [to Erik]: “You abandoned me!”

Erik [after bringing up the dead mutants]: “We were supposed to protect them!...You abandoned us all!”

26) A part of me gets why Raven seduces the Vietnamese general in order to take his place at the pace conference. Another part of me lives in a post Wonder Woman world and A) never sees male characters doing this and B) thinks there was probably a different way she could’ve gotten into the peace conference. And this isn’t a comment on a woman using her sexuality in a way she is comfortable with, this is a comment on men trying to shoehorn scenes were a woman’s defining feature is her sexuality.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

27) I love the added conspiracy theory that JFK was a mutant. I remember reading a promotional material at the time that Bobby Kennedy was a mutant too and that’s why he was assassinated. I’m a nut for conspiracy theories though.

28) Okay, I just need to take a minute to geek out about HOW HAPPY RAVEN IS TO SEE CHARLES!!!!

29) And this is the turning point of the film.

Wolverine gets rocky and weak when he sees Stryker, injuring Kitty in 2023

Erik tries to kill Mystique

The world can’t deny the existence of mutants anymore and reacts with fear

Charles & Erik are now against each other again

Trask gets Raven’s blood

The tone of that is not lost. There’s a sense of darkness and dread which falls upon the film as it moves forward. It has an impact on the audience and helps to raise the stakes.

30) Okay, this is funny as hell to me. In an effort to calm Logan down:

(GIFs originally posted by @marvelheroesdaily)

31) Hey look, a Bryan Singer cameo!

So now in the X-Men universe, Bryan Singer is someone who first introduces mutants to the larger world through his movies. How meta.

32)

Erik [after Mystique pulls him into a phone booth and holds a knife to his throat]: “It’s been a long time since we were this close.”

(GIF originally posted by @rocktheholygrail)

I don’t know why, but I don’t like the idea of an Erik/Mystique relationship. Maybe it’s just a hold over from how I felt about their seduction scene in First Class.

33) And this right here is Mystique’s motivation, clearer than before.

Mystique: “I’ve seen too many friends die, Erik. I don’t want a war. I only want the man who murdered them.”

Mystique is no longer an idealist. She does not subscribe to Charles’ or Erik’s way of thinking. She is on her own now, which she said in the very beginning of the film. It makes her character and the conflict she has all the more interesting.

34) The first step in Charles accepting who he is comes from accepting his powers. He tries Cerebro, but it’s too much at first. All he has is pain and suffering. But then - and I can’t understate how much I love this - Logan helps guide him.

Logan: “I was your most helpless student.”

Logan is able to guide him, showing off not only his own growth but also the strength in his relationship with Charles/Professor X. We are reminded of all of Logan’s pain as Charles sees it, but we see now that he has moved past it. It is absolutely incredible for me and leads to an amazing scene.

34) Charles (McAvoy) and Professor X (Stewart) meet.

This scene has much more of an impact now than I was expecting. Charles is at his most broken in life, it will never get worse for him than this. Or so he thinks. He looks into the future and sees just how awful things have gotten and he sees his older self in Professor X. Except when Professor X speaks of the future...he still has faith that it can turn out well. He still has HOPE. Professor X’s endless search for hope has always been his defining feature and it is something he has even in a dark future. It is something Charles has lost and which his older self helps him find again. It is an absolutely beautiful and moving scene, perfect in so many ways. Developing Charles, giving us a peek into the mindset of Professor X, we even get an incredible new theme from composer John Ottman. “Hope (Xavier’s Theme)” I think might be the most moving piece of music in the entire X-Men franchise and I absolutely love it.

35) If you’re a writing student, I suggest you analyze Raven’s character in this film. Particularly the scene where she and Charles are talking about Trask in an airport. It’s an excellent example of how important stakes are to a story and its characters. If a character can leave the scene without what they want and not be devastated, the stakes are too low. Raven’s personal stakes are high as are Charles’. And the fact that Raven doesn’t is still set on this path leaves Charles - in some shape or form - devastated.

36)

Hank [about where his device monitors news]: “Over all three networks. And PBS.”

Wolverine: “All three? Wow.”

Hank: Yeah. And PBS.”

37) The effect of Charles’ discussion with Professor X has an immediate effect and shows that he IS now that man. He is the man who has hope when all is lost, when everything looks grim. He still has faith in people and hope for the best.

38) How powerful do you think this is to hear?

Logan: “Storm, Scott, Jean. Remember those names.”

Charles [after a moment]: “I’ll do my best.”

Logan: “You’re best is enough.”

Can you imagine what that would feel like? This guy from the future telling you that you’re best is enough. Because that’s all we can ever do is our best. And to know that that is enough is just...I cannot tell you how happy I would be in life to hear those words.

39) Thanks to @orsonkrehnnic for this amazing GIF set that perfectly captures this scene:

40) The dual climaxes are edited between wonderful, carrying pacing between the two wonderfully and interesting throughout. Cutting between 2023 and 1973 could have been a mess but John Ottman’s editing helps bring the scenes together spectacularly. When one breathes, so does the other, and that’s what works.

41) Logan...

Hank: “In the future, do I make it?”

Logan: “No.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

42) Of course Wolverine still gets his ass kicked by Magneto, even without the metal bones. But I will say that removing him from the final conflict is a strong story choice. Because at this point what’s going on between Erik, Mystique, and Charles isn’t about him. It’s about them. The future is about him but it is much more impactful if it results from a choice by everyday people as opposed to the guy who knows what is about to happen. It’s very smart.

43) If this isn’t a beautiful final line for Ian McKellen’s Magneto I don’t know what is.

(GIF originally posted by @hughxjackman)

44) I love this.

Charles [when he can control Raven’s mind]: “I’ve been trying to control you since the day we meet. Look at where that’s got us.”

Charles TRUSTS Mystique. He trusts Raven. He lets her make her own choice and she choses life. She choses to be better. She choses not to become the murderer that Mystique is in the future. But her journey isn’t over yet. That won’t come until Apocalypse.

45) Did I mention I love that Charles embraces the Professor X philosophy?

Hank [about Mystique and Erik]: “Are you sure you should let them go?”

Charles: “Yes. I have hope for them.”

46) I cannot begin to express how satisfying this ending is.

I wish I could find a video clip of the ending so I can perfectly illustrate just how amazing it is, but everything about it feels EARNED. Everything about it breathes HOPE. And not just for this movies. It may be most effective while watching these back to back, but I geeked out at seeing everything. Seeing Rogue and Bobby back together, Kitty and Colossus teaching a class together, Kelsey Grammer’s brief cameo as Beast, Storm as a teacher. THEY EVEN GOT JEAN AND SCOTT BACK! Everything about it just feels SO GOOD! The characters we’ve cared for and loved for 14 years now are happy and at peace. And so what if Logan fucks up their lives again? Right now, everything is just good.

Note: I also own The Rogue Cut version of this film, which reintroduced a subplot featuring Anna Paquin’s return as Rogue that was deleted from the theatrical release for pacing issues. I WILL be doing a post about that sometime in the future. I’ve never seen it before so whatever that post looks like it’ll be a first time viewing. That’ll be labeled as 173.1.

There is a chance that X-Men: Days of Future Past is the best X-Men film yet (as in has X-Men in the title, so discounting films like Deadpool and Logan). It seamlessly blends together a large cast of characters from both the original trilogy and the First Class cast in a story which does the same. With strong performances throughout and incredible character drama (ESPECIALLY for Charles), it marks a triumphant return for director Bryan Singer. The action is better than ever, featuring that amazing Quicksilver scene, and it is practically perfectly paced. X-Men: Days of Future Past is an incredible entertaining and emotionally satisfying film all fans of the series - old and new - should watch.

[deebormzone]

Klingdom Harps 3: Who’s the (Secret) Boss?

Sorry I haven’t written much lately. I recently got the standard English major’s retail job, which sucks away most of my energy. I gotta toughen up so I can produce more insightful content, like this:

I like Kingdom Hearts a lot because it lets me jump and fight and also my friend Jafar is there.

The big KH news, which is a couple months old by now, is that Kingdom Hearts 3 finally has a vaguely estimated release window: 2018. Now I can worry less about whether it will really come out, and more about how much of it will be DLC.

Besides DLC, series creator Nomura has also spoken about the now-traditional secret boss battle. In other Kingdom Hearts titles, there are one or more optional fights, designed to be the most difficult encounters in the game. They’re usually Sephiroth.

In terms of the secret boss, we can’t say anything at this time, but in terms of Sephiroth specifically, my development team are worried that we’ve had him come back so many times so they’re maybe worried it might be redundant at this point. We’re still deliberating on it.

I'm with the development team here. There’s room for more than just Sephy. But assuming they do put a secret boss in KH3 (and since the other big KH games have had secret bosses, excluding one from the biggest Hearts yet would be pretty shameful), who could compete with everyone’s favorite silver-haired genetic abomination?

There are actually a few good options. Here are some dudes I’d like to face in Kingdom Hearts 3 as an uberboss, loosely arranged from least cool to most cool. The only real requirement is that they be either Square Enix or Disney characters.

Crystal Enthusiast: Culex

Culex is a secret boss already! He’s from Super Mario RPG, but designed to look and act like a Final Fantasy boss. It’s implied that he crossed over from the Final Fantasy series to look for strong opponents. I don’t know why he would go looking in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I guess it worked out for him.

With his dimension-hopping and challenge-seeking, Culex would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts secret boss. This is basically a pipe dream, though. Since he’s actually from a Mario game, it’s pretty unlikely he’d be allowed in. It may be his fate to languish in Mario Land for all eternity...

Principal Samurai: Master Eraqus

Eraqus was a major character in the Kingdom Hearts prequel, Birth by Sleep. He used to teach the protagonists how to use their Keyblades properly. Most of his lessons seem to involve hitting things, but that does tend to build experience in every game in the whole series. Go with what works, I guess.

Of course, he had an unfortunate accident, but that doesn’t prevent him from being a boss. Just call him “Lingering Spirit” or whatever. He’s probably the most likely person on this list to actually appear as a superboss, if he doesn’t show up in Kingdom Hearts 3 in some other form.

But despite being fairly important, his fighting style is sort of basic. He’s got a couple of big moves, but not much else. And even though I usually struggle against him in Birth by Sleep, he’s not that tough canonically. There may be better options.

Evillest Clown: Kefka

Ah, Kefka. He’s the boss of Final Fantasy 6, the clown who usually takes second place on the Final Fantasy villain lists... and sometimes first. This makes him a natural choice for Square Enix superboss if Sephiroth isn’t around.

I’m always down to clown. Kefka’s a manic, psychotic sociopath, which is often more fun to play with than your usual uptight or brooding villain. His fighting style in Dissidia, the Final Fantasy fighting game, is to annoy his enemy to death. Notable achievements of his include blowing up the world and becoming God, making him significantly more successful than your average antagonist. No worries about an underpowered foe here, though I’d rather fight his clown form than his purple angel form.

Somehow, though, I don’t see him getting in. Final Fantasy 6 has had almost no representation in Kingdom Hearts thus far. Is that game even still popular?

That, and the wacky clown personality doesn’t go over well with everyone. It might not fit the “epic boss battle” they’re planning. Shame.

Fallen Mascot: Oswald

I always love the Disney-based antagonists, but it’s hard to pick a definitive one. Maleficent usually takes the lead in villain meetups, but she’s not secret enough to be a secret boss. Is there anyone good left from the House of Mouse, besides maybe Walt himself?

There are plenty of great Disney villains who haven’t shown up yet. Dr. Facilier would fit right in with his control of dark magic. Yzma’s alchemy and sorcery could make for an excellent boss battle. Madam Mim’s shapeshifting could be an intense multi-stage fight. Turbo would jump at the chance to dominate another video game. Hell, they should put Cruella de Vil in the game just because.

The trouble with all of these is that they’re all single-world threats. They don’t hit hard enough to match up to, you know, Sephiroth.

There’s another option, though. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit was Walt Disney’s first animated character, but he took a backseat to now-international-icon Mickey Mouse. Sometimes, though, he reemerges - most recently as a dark version of Mickey in the Epic Mickey series.

In Kingdom Hearts, Mickey is (hilariously) a messiah-like hero of light, so Oswald could conceivably be a reverse version. A cartoony Keyblade wielder with dark versions of Mickey’s god-powers. He’s got the prestige and the lore. Why not take him on?

Of course, the same issue that applies to Kefka affects Oswald: he’s innately goofy, which might damage the brooding, trenchcoat image of a secret ultimate boss. Of course, what with Gruff Mickey as he appears in Kingdom Hearts, maybe they’d make Oswald edgy enough to fit. Somehow.

Numberwang: Sho Minamimoto

Here’s one of Nomura’s creations who could use some more time in the spotlight. Minamimoto is a villain in The World Ends With You, a Reaper who hounds the characters. He’s known for making big piles of garbage and shouting mathematical functions at people (“Sine, cosine, tangent!”). Basically, a flawless character.

The protagonists from his game appeared in the most recent Kingdom Hearts as major players, so there’s some small precedent. Also, he turns into a demigod or something by the end of the game, so he’s probably strong enough.

There are a couple of other characters from The World Ends With You who could work here. First is Joshua, but he’s been in Kingdom Hearts already. Next is the actual TWEWY antagonist, but he’s kind of forgettable. There’s also a secret boss in TWEWY who could show up, but he’s only intimidating because you spent the whole game talking to him and assuming his unimportance.

No, the reason I went straight for Sho is because he’s a certified memer. Don’t underestimate that meme magic. I don’t remember much about the main bosses of TWEWY, but I absolutely remember Shouting Math Guy, and being memorable is what counts in a super-secret ultimate boss fight.

Sadly, this is just grasping at straws. In the end, Minamimoto is a little guy from a little game - on a Nintendo console, even. But you know what they say: a dream is a wish your heart makes.

Burn Victim: Darth Vader

Yeah, I went there. Star Wars is Disney now, and all bets are off. Up is down, black is white, the Jedi are evil.

I’ve seen a lot of comments online about how terrible it would be if Star Wars or Marvel got into Kingdom Hearts, but I just can’t understand them. The whole point of this franchise, besides making big buckets of money, is to rampage across a huge range of wacky environments. Adding Star Wars would be super wacky AND good for more money buckets, so they should do it the moment they get the chance. It’s as simple as that.

Let me address Marvel Comics for a moment. There are a number of villains from that universe who could appear in Kingdom Hearts as superbosses, but they don’t appeal to me very much. A comics expert probably has better opinions than I do, but the bad dudes powerful enough to show up seem kind of dull to me, and the interesting ones are too weak.

Planet-eating Galactus would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts, but what does the big guy even do? Generic lasers and large hand slap? Doctor Doom is a classic, but when he fights mano a mano it ends up being tiny guns and foot dive. M.O.D.O.K.? A true role model and friend to all, but too weak. Magneto is the best cross between power and panache I can think of from Marvel, but beating up a Holocaust survivor probably crosses a few too many lines, even for Kingdom Hearts.

Despite my complaints, I’d be okay with just about anything from Marvel or Star Wars in the Kingdom of Heart. The wackier, the better, I always say. Still, my dreams of wackiness will likely go unfulfilled. The odds of getting any of that stuff in is pretty low at the moment. But what if there’s just enough influence to take just one piece of Star Wars into Kingdom Hearts? One character, for one fight, harder than any other?

Right off the bat, Vader commands more respect than Sephiroth. A lot more. Here’s a character everyone knows, one of the most infamous villains of all time. He fits the role of ultimate boss extremely well. He’s proficient in one-on-one combat, he’s filled with mystic powers, his saber fighting could lead to great Keyblade clashes, and he generally fits the light vs. darkness themes of Kingdom Hearts.

Beyond the Lucasfilm fees, though, there’s one other issue. His live-action-movie fighting style might not translate well to Kingdom Hearts’ hopping-around-and-exploding-into-beams-of-light fighting style. The game might actually be too goofy for Lord Vader. Maybe not, seeing as how Keyblade Dude Sora has faced off against live-action people before (Pirates of the Carribean and Tron), but the incongruity might be too much for the lawyers, if not the players.

There’s just one name left on my wishlist.

No, Darth Vader isn’t final enough to take the top spot. He’s a lousy dad.

My most wanted superboss candidate can only be THE #1 dad of all time.

The Best: Jecht

Jecht is like if sports became a human being. All he does is play ball, go on adventures, and insult his son. He’s perfect.

He stands alongside Sephiroth and Kefka as the more-or-less final boss of Final Fantasy X. There’s already a lot of X representation in Kingdom Hearts - Tidas is in, Wakka is in, Auron is in, YuRiPa is in. Adding the big man himself wouldn’t be much of a stretch. Plus, Jecht’s natural habitat is the stadium, which is where secret optional bosses are often fought.

This is the guy I want to fight as the secret boss. He’s a being of near-godlike power, and is also a dumb asshole who throws a ball at your head while calling you a wimp. He’s got the strength, and the pedigree as the boss of one of the most beloved Final Fantasies. No licencing issues, no nothing. His favorite prey is lame kids, and that’s basically main character Sora in a nutshell.

Best of all, though, is his fight song “Otherworld”, which (if you for some reason prefer not to hear its glory) is just a guy screaming over guitars. It tries so hard, it’s unbearably stupid. But then it tries even harder and loops back around to being really funny, and then loops some more until it’s actually a nice jam.

That closes out my list of potential secret bosses for Kingdom Hearts 3, but there are plenty of options I didn’t cover. In the end, I’ll be happy with any fight that’s fun and has a lot of exploding light particles. With luck, we might even get multiple secret bosses! It’s happened before.

Deeborm signing off for now. Here’s hoping Kingdom Hearts 3 will be worth the wait.

... but it will probably just be Sephiroth again.

[cryptoriawebb]

War for the Planet of the Apes: review

*Captain Kirk voice* “CAEEEEEEEEEEEESERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

There was a lot I loved about this movie. A lot. That isn’t something I say so easily. Especially with trilogies. Over the last couple of years, sequels and “threequels” as they say haven’t have been all over the movie map. Some have leapt levels above their predecessors, while others miss the mark by such length it’s all you can do not to cringe. Still, some hang squarely in the middle, neither good or bad, memorable or forgettable. This is especially true for reboot films: X-men, Star Trek and now Star Wars come to mind. Ironically, all three serve both as reboot-prequels to three iconic franchises. You can argue til the cows come home which of these is more successful (much less which are better in terms of content and characters) and maybe one day I’ll write up my own thoughts: I think it’s pretty obvious who the winner is.

I mean, of course, Planet of the Apes (like I said, one day I’ll do a comparison; that day is not today.) I don’t know how these movies manage to maintain their ongoing success…I mean, I do, but it’s so rare to see in Hollywood these days.  So many movies rely on the same, tired plots, conflict and cardboard character chemistry. More often than not I find myself walking into a sequel on eggshells: will it be good? Will it maintain its predecessor’s pace? Will it exceed my expectations? Will I remain engaged and attached to these characters? This movie checks off every box. Well…most of the boxes, but even so, this is the one trilogy I trust to deliver the same excitement promised in its trailers. I’m honestly awed by that, even all these years later. So many of their predecessors got it wrong: the original sequels, Burton’s remake…how, I wonder, how have they managed to get it right after so long?

(I ask because I’ve lost a lot of faith in Hollywood, not because I don’t understand creative mechanic.)

Right, staying on track—this is about War, not the franchise overall.

I absolutely adored the opening text sequence. Paired with the ambience, it was so subtle and eerie and immediately sucked you into the mood. The lingering words (rise, dawn and war) didn’t feel corny or excessively enforced, either. Actually, the summaries themselves remained on screen long enough to read through without rushing—I would know, I rushed through the last segment fearing it would fade before I finished. It didn’t, so shout out to the editor.

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of opening a movie with battle sequences but it works very well for this setting and storyline, especially given how the last one ended. It didn’t last too long either. In my opinion, fight scenes and battle sequences should be like cinnamon to French toast: included to enhance the flavor without overpowering it.  I will say it took me a little while to figure out why there were apes fighting on the human side but that’s probably because I haven’t seen the previous film in some time. I really liked the whole ‘donkey’ concept, too…although ‘like’ isn’t the right word. Sad, maybe, to see how these traitors chose to survive and knowing despite what they’ve been told they likely won’t be spared.

That’s an odd thing about this movie: yes there were a few standard Hollywood plots but the way they were presented prevented them from feeling stale. To watch Caesar struggle with the death of his wife and son, this empathic leader who never wanted war…it’s so different from watching, say, Magneto give in to heartache, or Logan, or Spock in the new Star Trek films. Caesar carries himself with a different weariness, one that isn’t guarded or hesitant and mistrusting. He’s a different kind of survivor, a leader aware of his importance without letting it go to his head. He’s good. Genuinely good and despite the biblical parallels circulating these movies that goodness feels grounded, tangible and vulnerable. Capable of wavering if pushed too far…yet even when it was, it never shattered completely. I felt I could see the conflict swarming him throughout this movie: that part blinded by rage and grief that seemed to give up on everything but revenge, and that goodness that kept him going, kept him from falling completely into self-centered destruction.  I’m in awe of Andy Serkis; each time he takes on Caesar his performances get better and better. While I must confess there were a few times I felt the camera lingered a little too long on his face (which of course isn’t his fault), he never wavered, and gotta throw a shout out to the visual effects department because they outdid themselves again. We might still live in an era where CGI characters look distinctly computerized, but technology has come a very long way, and each year past closes that gap a little more.

Maurice definitely came into his own as well. He was starting to in the last movie, from what I remember, but here I really felt like I learned who he was as an individual. Like Caesar, he too, possessed an emotional heart, yet more rational and empathetic, able to maintain a neutral outlook when needed. Doing this helped highlight Caesar’s diminishing ability to do so as time went on, and while, again, it brought up points used often in films, it worked without feeling tired. The more I think about it, the more I realize these tropes actually help this budding world: a second civilization rising to prominence, dealing with self-doubt and personal loss and shaken loyalty—humans have dealt with for centuries. I adored his relationship with Nova. It reminded me a little bit of Zira and Taylor from the first film, although with far less strain and a lot more trust. It’s both sweet and sad, knowing where the relationship with apes and humans will ultimately go—where it’s heading already. On a slight side note, part of me worried Maurice would die; I’m glad he didn’t, he’s always been one of my favorite side characters.

Speaking of Nova, I’m super curious about her character and possible future development. I’ve heard more films are in the works, I’m just not sure how far ahead they’ll jump. I hope not too far. I want to see this new civilization before we launch to Charleton Heston’s time, and like I said, I want to see what happens to Nova. Will she regress into a primitive state? I’m not sure how long Nova lost her voice before the apes found her. The Colonel devolved so quickly part of me wonders if Nova might be some kind of exception. If not, then she’ll probably become the first example of apes coexisting with animalistic humans.

I’d also like to see what happens to Cornelius. One thing I can’t tell about these films: if these names (Bright Eyes, Nova, Cornelius) are designed as a throwback favor to fans or if these characters are meant to grow into the ones we see in the original movie, however closer to modern time it is. Maybe their significance are important to characters and become popular and circulated in their society centuries after their original use…I hope the former is true, only because this new world is a little more interesting than the popular 1960s “NUCLEAR WAR DESTROYED ALL THE THINGS” post-apocalyptic settings.

I think if there’s any character I’m iffy on, it’s Bad Ape. You know, the hermit who learned to speak while living in a zoo. I did find the outsider angle interesting—we really don’t know how apes in other parts of the world have evolved since the Simian Flu outbreak. I also loved the nod to their future society’s uniforms (which I initially didn’t catch; it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the first film.) I just wasn’t sold on the humor. It felt very out of place in an otherwise intense movie. I kept getting a “Disney dopey sidekick” vibe from his antics—added to lighten a mood I don’t believe needed lightening. I mean, it wasn’t so jarring it completely severed the tone, just nudged at it, created a small ripple and I didn’t particularly like it. I liked Bad Ape as a character, though. His past, like I said, made him unique and an outsider in different ways than Koba’s followers. He and Nova both stand as interesting parallels: she can’t speak but understands (at least somewhat) sign language, while Bad Ape doesn’t understand it but can speak almost as well as Caesar.

As far as characters go, I think the Colonel is the last one worth nothing. I only vaguely remember Rocket from the last film and I have no recollection of Luca or Winter. Blue Eyes, I had hoped, would play a larger role, given his significance in the last film, but I suppose his character arc could only go so far without fading to the background or losing someone close to him…at least in the Hollywood handbook. Even for a franchise like this one. Although the love interest, side note, I kinda felt was shoe-horned in there. I realize two years have passed, but it’s hard to engage in so short-lived a relationship, on-screen.   There was one soldier I took interest in, too, the survivor at the beginning of the film. What was his name, Preacher? I thought he’d play a larger role, apart from the wary observer. Perhaps that’s all he needed to be. Either way, I’d have liked to see more development.

I’d like to go back to the Colonel again: he, too, followed the same “similar yet different” pattern the rest of the characters maintained. I’ve seen a lot of movies over the years, and ‘General Badass who believes the different species is expendable’ is no stranger to the silver screen (Avatar, anyone?) I almost wrote him off, during that scene he spoke with Caesar. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s cardboard villains (alright there are a lot of things I can’t stand but this really irritates me.) Imagine my surprise when I learned the intent of his to-be wall. He wasn’t the commanding force of all or most survivors at all, but rather the boxed in outsider trying to survive. I don’t agree with his methods of course, much less the treatment and execution of his men but it was interesting, from that sort of psychological perspective: how far fear will push someone. Fight or flight and all that.

His final scene with Caesar broke my heart. I knew what had happened of course—admittedly not as early as I’m sure others did but certainly from “where the hell is he?” I also admit I thought he was going to use his remaining humanity to kill Caesar (both at first and then when Caesar put his gun down.) Begging for death and killing himself spoke more of his own humanity, and I use that term in reference to the humanness in him, rather than compassion towards others. The tight shots of their faces didn’t help. Part of me wonders if that was intentional, beyond capturing the emotion. I believe it was the Colonel who noted that Caesar��s eyes were almost human: in those final scenes, the eyes were front and center and you could see the almost animalistic terror in the Colonel’s, while tortured conflict filled Caesar’s. I still maintain the close-ups lingered too long but it was an interesting contrast nonetheless.

I’m not sure how I feel about the Simian flu reverting people to animalistic creatures. It’s certainly an interesting take, but it almost feels like a plot device, as opposed to regressing naturally which I believe happened in the original film? The more I consider it the more I wonder if these reboot prequels will shorten the distance between present day and ‘Planet of the Apes.’ Instead of, what was it, two thousand years, crunch it down to two hundred, if that. This does, admittedly, heighten the horror, and I do like that…but I also like my continuity (ignoring the original disastrous sequels.) I guess we’ll see what happens.

Let’s see, what else…

I took particular note of the score, something I don’t always do. One of those things where, at least in my case, it tends to weave its way through the brain as part of the mood, subconsciously. Rarely does a score jump out at me unless it’s either unusual (Tron Legacy, for example) or I make a point to listen. I’m not sure what about the music stood out to me, this time around. I will say now that I have noticed I found the choice for the more humorous elements worked—not too subtle, not too loud or excessive—but still felt a little out of place.

The set design, too, I feel worth mentioning. While I haven’t watched any behind the scenes I’m assuming it was, in large part, computer-generated. I tend to be partial towards practical sets; it speaks to the creative individual in me, always marveling over how it manifests in others. That isn’t to say I didn’t appreciate them as they were, especially as someone with a fascination towards abandoned buildings. The gift shop stands out as my favorite of the ‘human’ sets, although my favorite overall has to be the ape society before the ambush. Not only did I love the design, but found it practical and appropriate for the skills developed by the apes since the flu broke out; still primates, but more and more human with each day gone by. It’s amazing and fascinating to see how they’ve developed and knowing where they’re ultimately headed.

I think the last thing I want to mention is Caesar’s death. I thought Blue Eyes said the distance from their home to the desert was a long one…I realize since then they resumed their journey from a different location, but I find it a bit odd Caesar managed to survive with a bleeding wound. If their new home is far enough away from human life, how far did they have to go from the facility? It really is just a minor quibble I have; I wouldn’t have had him go any other way. I’m going to miss him though. Caesar and his journey are half the reason I enjoyed these films, he’s such a compelling character. I hope whatever comes next can hold together without him.

All in all, really liked this movie, would definitely recommend. I think the first two were better, but I was far from disappointed. RIP Caesar, I’ll miss you.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Wolverine - X blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t seen this movie yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I had absolutely zero interest in watching this movie. Why would I after X-Men Origins: Wolverine? It was boring, poorly thought out, badly constructed and it completely butchered the greatest comic book character of all time. (I’m talking about Deadpool obviously. What, did you think I was talking about Wolverine? LOL. In your dreams). Plus I just don’t give a fuck about Wolverine. Did that come across? Hell, at this point, I wouldn’t even pass water over Wolverine. But then my boyfriend at the time convinced me to give this movie, The Wolverine, a shot. Saying it was a massive improvement over the previous film that corrected all the wrongs. So I snuggled up next to him on the couch and watched it, anticipating the ride of my life.

That’s not what I got.

The Wolverine isn’t an improvement over the previous film. It’s not even as bad as the previous film. I’d go as far to say that it’s worse than the previous film (and in case you’re wondering, my boyfriend and I aren’t together any more).

Dear God, where do I even start with this mess? I mean say what you like about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, at least it was attempting to tell a story. The Wolverine is just… I don’t even know how to explain it. Nothing happens most of the time and the few things that do happen don’t make any fucking sense. It’s actually surprisingly hard to follow most of the time.

I suppose I should say the initial premise is solid. Once you overlook the stupidity of Wolverine using himself as a human shield to protect some Japanese soldier from a nuke (yeah, um… what about radiation poisoning? or can Wolverine absorb it all like a human sponge?), the idea of Wolverine losing his healing powers is actually a really good one. It could provide some much needed tension in fight scenes knowing that he can be wounded or even killed, and it could inject a touch of vulnerability into the character that would be interesting to explore. The problem is they never do anything with it. It doesn’t even really change Wolverine that much. He may get wounded, but he’s still fighting the exact same way, throwing caution to the wind as usual. He’s still shrugging off bullet and knife wounds, and there’s even one ridiculously stupid bit where he fights some thug on top of a bullet train, which should have turned both of them into pulp. It’s as if the filmmakers forgot the premise of their own movie halfway through. For fuck’s sake, if you’re going to depower Wolverine, actually commit to it! Don’t chicken out the minute it becomes inconvenient for you.

There are traces of the cure storyline from X-Men: The Last Stand in this. Wolverine wondering whether to give up his healing powers in order to live a normal, finite life like everyone else. But at this point it seems any interesting social commentary the X-Men films once offered has pretty much abandoned ship. There’s no real effort to actually explore the character (again) and the logic behind the premise is just baffling. Curing a mutant’s powers is one thing, but now you can swap them with other people? How the hell does that work? How does that spider thing attached to Wolverine’s heart somehow suppress his powers? How can sticking drills into his claws absorb his powers? I’m really confused!

It’s actually very hard to talk about this movie because I confess I don’t fully understand what’s going on half the time. Basically the Japanese soldier Wolverine saved at the beginning is dying and wants Wolverine’s powers so he can live forever. He has a giant robot samurai suit (don’t ask) that can drill holes into Wolverine’s claws and absorb his powers… somehow, but he doesn’t do that. Instead he concocts an elaborate plan to make his granddaughter the heir to his business empire, thus pissing off her dad and fiancé, leading them to contacting the Japanese mafia and trying to have her killed, which Wolverine prevents whilst having his powers suppressed by another mutant called Viper, and once all that is over and Wolverine has fallen in love with her (because obviously that would happen), the soldier kidnaps his granddaughter and uses her as bait, luring Wolverine to his giant tower of evil and THEN uses the giant robot samurai suit (don’t ask) to drill holes in Wolverine’s claws and absorb his powers.

Now… I think that was the plan, but I’m not sure. I tend to fall asleep about halfway through so I can’t be certain. Needless to say, the plot is convoluted and extremely boring. For starters if you have the time to send that Viper woman to french kiss Wolverine while he’s sleeping, then why don’t that soldier guy just use the robot samurai suit? Why even suppress Wolverine’s powers in the first place? I don’t think he’ll be much use to you dead. But the main issue once again is that I just don’t give a fuck about anything that’s going on. None of the characters are properly developed and I’m just simply not invested. The supposed friendship between the Wolverine and the soldier is never fully explored, which is a shame because the soldier had the potential to be a fascinating antagonist. A man so terrified of his own mortality, he’s prepared to sacrifice his cultural beliefs, his family and his morals just to survive. Plus this is ostensibly a villain of Wolverine’s making. But the film never even touches upon it.

One thing The Wolverine does improve upon over its predecessor is the fight scenes. In X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the fight scenes were so poorly edited and filmed that it was hard to make sense of what’s going on. Here that’s not the case. So at least I can see what’s going on, what little of it there is. Because as overly complicated this plot is, it’s surprising how very little actually happens in this film. Vast stretches of runtime devoted to absolutely nothing. The first 10 minutes of the film for instance are devoted to Wolverine trying to figure out who killed a bear. A fucking bear! And then there’s the incredibly forced romance with the granddaughter. Despite the fact that we never learn anything significant about her and the two share absolutely zero chemistry, we’re expected to be invested in them falling in love and fucking like rabbits because… he has a penis and she has a vagina I guess. I don’t fucking know! It’s all stupid. Not to mention it stands contrary to the whole woe is me crap with Jean Grey.

Oh yeah! Jean Grey is back in this movie! Albeit in dream sequences. Basically Wolverine has left the X-Men because he’s feeling all angsty about killing Jean (yawn) and now she shows up every five minutes encouraging him to die so they can be together forever and ever amen. I assume these scenes are here to get us to feel sorry for Wolverine and to get all wistful over his relationship with Jean. Except I don’t feel that because both Wolverine and Jean Grey are incredibly dull and poorly written characters and their ‘relationship’ mostly consisted of him sexually assaulting her. So no, I wasn’t moved. In fact the opposite, I was very, very unmoved. The only time I moved was when I got up to get a sick bag because I couldn’t believe this stupid romance was being forced onto me again and I was feeling rather queasy.

Plus the return of Jean Grey once again caused me to ask some very awkward questions about the X-Men continuity. So this film takes place after X-Men: The Last Stand, right? So how come Magneto has his powers back? Didn’t he lose them at the end of X-Men 3? And how come Xavier is back from the dead? Plus there’s all the discrepancies with the X-Men prequels (I’m assuming X-Men Origins: Wolverine is no longer canon, otherwise what the fuck is Wolverine doing in Nagasaki and where was Sabretooth). Also at the end of this film, Wolverine gets his bone claws back, but in X-Men: Days Of Future Past and the trailers for Logan, he has metal claws.

WOULD IT KILL SOMEONE TO HIRE A FUCKING CONTINUITY EDITOR?!?!

I just feel sorry for Hugh Jackman at this point. He’s a great actor and you can tell he’s really trying his best, but there’s simply nothing anybody can do with this material. No wonder he wants out. If I was stuck playing the same shit character for 16 years of my life, I’d want out too.