#i think this is the most reasonable time ive posted one of these (its 20 to 2am which is . NOT reasonable when ive got a class at 10 oclock

[tenshouining]

[day 3 - coming out] if youre not kissing in the lab are you really partners. . .

[themyscirah]

This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier

Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦‍♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags

[youremyheaven]

Mars, Sex & Celibacy

i have wanted to make this post for a long time and this may probably be my last post of 2023. (edit: this is my first post of 2024 lol)

earlier i had briefly mentioned about Mars and its relationship with celibacy and sex.

I had spoken about how Mars makes the native crave carnality and not sensuality. Its also telling how Mars is associated with impulsiveness, fieriness and passion but Mars also makes natives prone to abstinence, restraint and reluctance.

Mars is often interpreted to be explosive with its energy but while that may be the case in other areas, when it comes to sex and relationships, these natives have a tendency to restrain themselves a lot. This could be due to many different reasons. ive noticed a tendency for many natives to self reject or co-opt out of the system instead of playing it at all because they're afraid of being rejected or not being good enough (Mars influence and even disproportionate Venus influence can manifest as deformity/ugliness or make someone feel like they're not good enough) but a strong Mars can manifest differently. Mars is the soldier and is the planet of aggression, therefore they tend to be natural leaders and leaders are ones who set the standard for others, they naturally think of others as being a few rungs below them since they're always on command mode.

Mars is the master however, so Mars influence makes a native exercise immense self control. Its VERY easy for them to shun certain things and abstain entirely. Mars natives are very disciplined and are almost Saturnian (a good/stabilized Saturn influence that is) in terms of their work ethic. Its interesting because even though Saturn is associated with hard work, discipline etc it often manifests as laziness, sluggishness etc because the extremes of anything is a meeting point with its opposite. They are prone to feeling burnt out.

Adriana Lima, Mrigashira Sun, Chitra Moon was a virgin until she was 27 years old and married.

She was a bikini model since she was a teenager but she chose to abstain from sex until she was married. I'm not saying the two are contradictory but its unusual in the sense that its not something that's expected from someone in her position as one of the sexiest women alive.

random observation but Mars rules over eyebrows and gives its natives very thick lush eyebrows with no arch that are a standout feature and thick dark eyebrows are considered a sign of sexual maturity which makes sense consider the over sexualization of Mars natives

Brooke Shields, has Mrigashira Moon & Venus as well as Rohini Sun (Rohini & Mrigashira have similar themes and often manifest as incestual/sexual abuse, stalking, obsession etc in the lives of its natives).

She was pushed into acting and fame by her abusive, controlling mother at a young age and was very sexualized by the public and media even as a child. She has talked about how obsessed her mother was with her and how she remained a virgin until she was 22years old despite being a hugely renowned sex symbol for most of her life.

Drew Barrymore, Mrigashira Rising

Drew grew up with a mother who was obsessive & controlling with her and almost grew up too fast before turning to a playful and childlike personality as an adult.

She also spoke about how she's been celibate since her 2016 divorce. She also underwent a breast reduction in her 20s because she did not like being sexualized by men.

This interview where Drew & Brooke talk about their mothers is so Mrigashira coded, its especially telling when Brooke says that despite everything they've been through neither of them emerged from it "jaded" or "angry".

I've noticed this with a lot of Mrigashira natives, they have very playful, happy go lucky personalities despite all the abuse and trauma they've endured.

There is an unhappy pattern in the lives of many Mrigashira natives of having been subject to incestual abuse or sexual abuse as children.

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen have Mrigashira Sun and although there is no actual evidence of it, there are many speculations as to whether they were subject to abuse as children and their subsequent withdrawal from public life as adults only added fuel to the rumours.

Many child stars who gain notoriety or are sexualized from a very young age tend to have Mrigashira placements or other Mars ruled naks in their big 3.

Judy Garland, Mrigashira Sun & Mercury

It is very well known how she was exploited by her mother who gave her "performer pills" to keep her awake and then to help her sleep, all before she turned 10 years old.

Shirley Temple, the OG child star had Mrigashira Moon, she was severely abused, exploited and overworked since childhood.

Natalie Portman has Mrigashira Sun and she's talked about how being sexualized as a child made her relationship with her sexuality very fraught.

“Being sexualised as a child, I think, took away from my own sexuality because it made me afraid and it made me like the way I could be safe was to be like, ‘I’m conservative,’ and ‘I’m serious and you should respect me,’ and ‘I’m smart,’ and ‘Don’t look at me that way.'”- Natalie Portman

Many famous women and men who have either very few sexual partners or lose their virginities later in life or wait until marriage often have Mars ruled nakshatras.

Tina Fey lost her virginity at the age of 24 to the man who would become her husband. She has Chitra Moon

Jessica Alba, Dhanishta Moon said this:

"I didn't really [seriously] go out with any guys until I was 18 and met my ex-fiancé, Michael Weatherly,"

"It just didn't work out. I was so young, 18, when I started dating him. I was a virgin. I knew I wanted to be in love with the first person I slept with, because for almost everyone I knew, the first experience made them feel like shit," she continued. "So I wanted to be really careful that he was going to be in love with me and wasn't just going to leave me."

Celine Dion, Ketu in Chitra lost her virginity to her husband Rene Angelil.

Courteney Cox, Mrigashira Sun, lost her virginity at the age of 21

Another nakshatra(s) that I've often noticed coming up in the charts of many people who are sexually conservative or have traditional values is Punarvasu and Pushya.

Tamera Mowry waited until she was 29 to have sex and then felt guilty about it and was celibate until she got married. She has Punarvasu Sun (amatyakaraka) and Jupiter in Punarvasu (atmakaraka) along with Moon & Mercury in Pushya

Miranda Kerr, Punarvasu Moon & Pushya Rising dated her now husband for 3 years before marrying him and they waited until they were married to have sex.

"Not until after we get married," she said "He is very traditional. We can't … I mean we're just … waiting."

Jennifer Lawrence, Mrigashira Moon has said this:

"I always talk like I want d---, but the truth is when I look back at my sexual past it was always with boyfriends," the actress told The Sun. "I am mostly also a germaphobe. I have made it this far without an STI. D--- is dangerous. If I was at the point where I could get an STI, doctors have already been involved. That is how much of a germaphobe I am."

She has admitted to never having had casual sex and has often been subject to stalking, and following the leak of her private pictures, she's talked about how violated she feels about the whole experience. All of these are themes that manifest in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.

Jessica Simpson, Punarvasu Sun & Mercury was a virgin until she married her husband Nick Lachey when she was 21

Justin Bieber, Chitra Moon, Dhanishta Mercury & Mars went through a period of celibacy and waited until marriage to have sex with Hailey.

“[God] doesn’t ask us not to have sex for him because he wants rules and stuff. He’s like, I’m trying to protect you from hurt and pain. I think sex can cause a lot of pain. Sometimes people have sex because they don’t feel good enough. Because they lack self-worth. Women do that, and guys do that. I wanted to rededicate myself to God in that way because I really felt it was better for the condition of my soul. And I believe that God blessed me with Hailey as a result,”

Kevin Jonas, Mercury & Mars in Chitra was a virgin until he married his wife when he was 20.

Lady Gaga, Mrigashira Rising once said:

"I don’t really have sex. I’m quite celibate now," she went on, "I don’t really get time to meet anyone. don’t trust anybody. And I don’t know if I ever will. But it’s okay. It’s the trade-off."

While revealing that she was 'perpetually lonely' when it comes to relationships, Gaga also understood that it's her 'condition as an artist'.

"I also think I’m afraid of depleting my energy. I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina."

the story of Rapunzel is intricately connected to Mrigashira.

we're familiar with how Rapunzel is held captive in a tower with an evil witch pretending to be her mother gaslighting her into thinking the outside world isn't safe enough for her to navigate, the myth behind Mrigashira nakshatra is of how Brahma tries to have an incestuous relationship with his favourite daughter Rohini who tries to escape this by leaving heaven behind and coming down to earth and taking the form of a deer. This deer is Mrigashira.

due to this background, Mrigashira natives often spend their lives running from things or feeling like they're being chased. Being gaslit is also (unfortunately) a big theme because they're running away from their home where they were being abused and its looked down upon as them misbehaving or causing trouble because its considered taboo to run away from your home. even though they're the victim they're constantly gaslit into thinking otherwise. this is the reason why so many Mrigashira natives stay in abusive relationships/homes for far too long.

in Tangled, Rapunzel is voiced by Mandy Moore who is Mrigashira Rising

In an interview, Brooke Shields, Mrigashira Moon said about her mom : “Even while I was [making the films] she did this high-wire act of protecting me, like Rapunzel in a tower,” Shields says. “So I was able to stay naive. It was a constant contradiction.”

she also interestingly played an obsessive stalker in an episode of Friends,

in the movie A Beautiful Mind, Jennifer Connelly, Mrigashira Moon plays the wife of an economist with schizophrenia. She initially believes that his hallucinations are real and only learns of his condition much later and even though her and her baby's safety is under threat she still chooses to stay by his side and support him.

Jim Carrey, Mrigashira Moon plays the titular Truman in the movie The Truman Show where a man unbeknownst to him is a character on a show that is telecast to the world.

Being gaslit and struggling to fully understand the nature of reality is a common theme in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.

Returning to the theme of how sexualized Martian women tend to be, here are several examples:

They tend to be so sexualized by others that they feel cut off from their sexuality themselves, i.e, it does not feel safe to indulge in pleasure.

Jennifer Lawrence, Mrigashira Moon

"Anybody can go look at my naked body without my consent, any time of the day,” she says. “Somebody in France just published them. My trauma will exist forever.” She shakes it off with a wincing grin. “Have you ever wanted to be an actress?”

Pamela Anderson, Mrigashira Rising

Her sextape was stolen from her house and circulated widely and later on a biopic about her and Tommy was made which portrayed her in the worst possible light. She has been deprived of autonomy over her own narrative.

Another thing to keep in mind is how Mrigashira is the only Deva gana nak among the Mars ruled nak, both Chitra & Dhanishta are Rakshasa gana and as such they feel little shame or guilt in owning and embracing all aspects of their sexuality.

Here's an example of Amber Rose, Chitra Sun who was similarly sexualized and slut shamed by the media and she had a vastly different response that some of the above mentioned women who sort of went incognito and dialled down on things:

"I just got to a point where people were saying: “She’s sex, she’s a slut, she’s a ho, she’s this, she’s that…” and I thought, okay, well I’m going to piss you off even more and come out with a sex toy line. There you go people, you can have that. You get to a point where you literally can’t give a shit and live your best life."

Kim Cattrall, Dhanishta moon

“It was so much fun to leave behind this kind of sexual icon thing. I was so ready to shed it. I’ve been sexualised since a very early part of my career. I understand it, I’ve made it work for me, but I’ve always felt that I’m a character actress stuck inside a leading lady’s body. Now, I feel like I am doing my best work.”

Look at how different their responses are in comparison to many Mrigashira natives.

Many Martian women attain fame and notoriety for their bodies and sex appeal

Kate Upton, Sun & Venus in Mrigashira

Marilyn Monroe was Dhanishta Moon

Kat Dennings, Mrigashira Sun

Dita Von Teese, Mrigashira Moon

Claudia Schiffer, Mrigashira Moon

Candace Swanepoel, Chitra Sun

Ashley Graham, Dhanishta Moon

Denise Richards, Dhanishta Sun

Ariel Winter, Dhanishta Moon

Carrie Fisher, Chitra Sun

Jennifer Garner, Mrigashira Moon

In 2013, Jennifer gave a testimony to the California legislature about her experience and urged them to pass a bill that would grant children some protections from paparazzi. That bill ultimately passed. She has talked extensively about being stalked and how she lives with a lot of anxiety because of it.

Sandra Bullock, Dhanishta Moon , with Mrigashira stellium (inc Rising) experienced a horrifying home invasion in 2014 when a stalker broke into her house. He killed himself in 2018. She's had multiple stalkers and has chosen to live a very lowkey life to protect the privacy and safety of herself and her family.

Nadya Suleman better known as Octomum is a Dhanishta Rising and became notorious for her brief tryst with porn stardom and posing nude along with working as a stripper after initially becoming infamous for having octuplets.

Janis Joplin, Dhanishta Rising grew up in a conservative household and ran away to San Francisco as an adult where she entered a relationship with a man who soon left her. As he was walking away from her, Janis literally grabbed his leg and was dragged along the way. At that very moment, she decided she would never again beg for love.

“I’d’ve fucked anything, taken anything…I did. I’d take it, suck it, lick it, smoke it, shoot it, drop it, fall in love with it….”

"My music isn’t supposed to make you wanna riot! My music is supposed to make you wanna fuck!”

I mention these two as examples for how Dhanishta natives are examples of the type of Martian women who don't feel guilty about their desires or urges and refuse to be shamed for it; they may be hypersexual or chaste but they do not let others tell them what to do.

......................

This post is a bit all over the place but I hope you'll excuse that, I wanted to talk about the relationship with sex, sexuality (among other things) that Mars natives have, I feel like went into several different tangents but :/

I hope this was informative and interesting.

Happy New Year!! <333

[csolarstorm]

The Circle of Arceus Doesn't Need Modern Legendaries

(Source: Centro Leaks)

That's right, it's time for me to post a theory about this.

A lot of people are pointing out that this diagram is obsolete simply because there's been five more regions of legendaries since it was made and it's been...almost 20 years. I think that's only partly true. It actually holds up surprisingly well in modern Pokemon.

GameFreak definitely tried to get away from the whole "legendaries are gods" thing after Gen IV, mostly because where do you go after Arceus? So you don't get a lot of newer legendaries involved in the creation of the Pokemon world.

Plus, GameFreak used to have these random moments where they worried about continuity. Why do we need incense to evolve the Baby Pokemon from Sinnoh? You think players are going to complain that Munchlax should've hatched in Johto? Well, you might be right...but still.

That might be why a lot of newer legendaries have an alibi that explains why they weren't in the Pokemon World when it was created. Many of them were either in Space, or "Ultra" Space:

The Orignal Dragon of Unova

The Cosmog Line

Necrozma

Eternatus

By the way, some professor really should look into the reason so many incredibly dangerous space dragons are just dropping into the Pokemon world.

Then there's legendaries that are strong in the context of their story, and some are even worshiped, but they're more like regional gods and myths.

The Swords of Justice

The Tapus

The Legendary Heroes

Kubfu Line

Calyrex and His Steeds

The Paradox Duo

The Treasures of Ruin

Ogerpon

Most modern mythicals unfortunately fall hard into this category, to the point that some are literally just a monkey, Zarude. Actually, there's no need to list the others. You get the idea.

But who does fit the circle?

That leaves the Aura Trio, the Forces of Nature, and...Terapagos. In my opinion, these legendaries would be right at home in the circle. The Aura Trio deals in life and death, which is pretty major.

That Yggdrasil inspiration would make the Aura Trio right at home on the tree of life from the beta origin story. You know, that "giant tree of life" that Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kyogre broke apart, that turned into the sky, earth, and ocean?

The three gathered in a circle and prayed, and the seed sprouted. The sprout quickly grew, and became the giant tree of life. However, the tree continued to grow, soon filling the entire world, and no one was able to move.

(...) RAYQUAZA wrapped its body around the tree of life. GROUDON and KYOGRE slammed their bodies into the tree of life. Eventually, the tree fell and broke into three pieces.

REI, AI, and HAI prayed, saddened that the tree would rot away like this. Then, the pieces of the broken tree would transform into the sky, earth, and ocean. RAYQUAZA became the pillar that holds the sky.

(Source: Centro Leaks)

Yeah, now I'm thinking the Aura Trio are more of a second try at this whole tree of life thing at GameFreak. Because the whole "Rayquaza wrapped its body around the tree" gives me major Yggdrasil vibes. Surprise Pokemon theorists, Nidhogg isn't Zygarde...it's Rayquaza!

Rayquaza did Ragnarok!

But some people think the Aura Trio are aliens who came to earth on the meteor that the Anistar City Moondial was made from, so that would explain why the Aura Trio aren't in the circle. After all, the Unovan Original Dragon came from a meteor just one generation earlier.

There's also the alleged "original story" rumor for XY that claimed that XY was originally about aliens. The Teraleak probably has something to say about that. So the jury's out about the Aura Trio - they could belong in the circle, but they might be aliens.

(Wait, the rumor was that the alien plot was cut for time? As in, it would have been included (and maybe made less "weird") if they didn't rush? So is THAT was what in Southern Kalos...)

Or maybe my theory is wrong. Deoxys is on the outer layer of the circle after all. Maybe Arceus doesn't discriminate against aliens, they just have to stay on the outer layer. It's not that much of a difference either way - there's plenty of room on the outer layer with the other mythicals. I'm talking about the head honchos really.

The Forces of Nature probably belong on the circle, if we're being honest. They kind of clash with the Legendary Birds' role in the mythos as "weather" gods, but they should be on there.

Lastly...Terapagos is an enigma when it comes to this whole post. It might be more powerful than Eternatus, since "tera" is more power than "giga", right? It's so much power it can literally warp a Pokemon's type. Like Arceus, or genetic engineering.

And Terapagos isn't an alien like Eternatus, at least there's no evidence of it. It's been stuck underground, but it used to live on land. I would say it's just a really, really powerful Pokemon that isn't technically godly, but it's literally based on the World Turtle, another creation myth.

It's in the same boat as the Aura Trio, only it's not an alien. Except, it is responsible for the "Stellar" type, as in stars. And there is this Pokedex entry:

An old expedition journal describes the sight of this Pokémon buried in the depths of the earth as resembling a planet floating in space.

Who says that planet is Earth? What if that's its homeworld?

Terapagos doesn't just borrow inspiration from the world, but the idea of worlds itself, or the philosophical idea of "turtles all the way down". Not only does it depict a world, but a world on a world. A world on a world on a -

I don't know how to end this. Are all my Teraleak theories going to be this long? I hope not. Happy Teraleak! Enjoy the leak!

---

Edit: Changed the name of the title. It used to be called "Newer Legendaries Just Aren't in Arceus' Personal Circle".

All pics other than the Arceus circle are from Bulbapedia. It's easier that way.

[pub-lius]

Hyper niche question for my autism warrior: What was the perception of aide-de-camps during the AmRev like? I assume it would be viewed as a softer position - though of course, the extent would vary depending who your CO was - but many did see action and a few were reassigned so they could fight

Hey y’all… how y’all doing… i know its been yet another period of many moons since ive posted or answered (i hope this information is still relevant btw), but ive had a lot going on with getting a job, finding colleges, my mommy issues, travel, etc. anyway, im back, and im here to tell you about my main men

It actually was not viewed as a softer position at all! The station of aide-de-camp was highly desirable for several reasons, which i will describe approximately right now

1) people had to compliment you a LOT to get in

Most of the results I got from my research on this ask were letters of recommendation for potential aides-de-camp. Letters of recommendation were high honors for any station, especially for that of a military capacity. According to my favorite source on the American Revolution (which you should know by now), George Washington’s Indispensable Men by Arthur S. Lefkowitz, it was practically impossible to get a job as an aide-de-camp if you did not have a widely positive reputation or a letter of recommendation from someone reputable (or both if you wanted to clerk for the Commander-in-Chief).

I found one letter of recommendation from j*hn ad*ms that i think serves as a very good example of the sort of statements that could land you a seat at a Continental officer’s writing desk:

“There is another Gentleman of liberal Education and real Genius, as well as great Activity, who I find is a Major in the Army; his Name is Jonathan Williams Austin. I mention him, sir, not for the Sake of recommending him to any particular Favour, as to give the General an opportunity of observing a youth of great abilities, and of reclaiming him from certain Follies, which have hitherto, in other Departments of Life obscurd him.”

-John Adams to George Washington, June 19-20, 1775, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (Founders Online, Washington Papers)

Those are my italics btw. These compliments are carefully chosen to suit the honor culture that was so pervasive throughout the 18th century and first half of the 19th century. A liberal education at the time was very hard to come by, and would be of great importance in a clerical position. Great activity also helps, because you dont want some lazy ass writing to Congress under your name, or god forbid George Washington himself, you might get hung (not really). The mention of youth is also intentional, since young men have always been preyed upon by the military. I think it’s especially noteworthy the final phrase of “reclaiming him from certain Follies”, which indicates that he might have previously had a negative reputation- whether it was warranted or not, im not sure.

2) the pay was fucking fire

For this we’re going to be utilizing my super amazing math scores that im renown for throughout the math community (yall dont know about my math tumblr), and we’re going to be using Alexander Hamilton as our lab rat, as per usual.

Alexander Hamilton joined Washington’s staff in early 1777 where a regular aide-de-camp (not a military secretary) made $33 dollars a month, which averages to about $1.10 a day. Meanwhile, according to the University of Missouri, the highest paid laborer in Massachusetts in the same year made $0.50 a day, which is about $15 a month, others making as little as about $0.22 a day, so around $7 a month. If you’re looking for ratios, by the end of the war, a pound of raisins was around $0.30. So, the highest paid Massachusetts laborer could save up every paycheck from 1777 to 1782 and buy 324 pounds of raisins, and Alexander fucking Hamilton could waltz up next to him and buy 712.8 pounds of raisins and rub it in his sad, poor face. And he wouldn’t even share because he was a congressman by that time and congressmen HATE THE POOR.

Disclaimer: Hamilton’s numbers dont include the time he quit the office bc I didn’t feel like googling how long he was away for and also i dont care. And yeah he probably would share his raisins with the guy, Hamilton was pretty nice, but i dont think he’d buy 712.8 pounds of raisins in Massachusetts anyway. Or maybe he would, I dont fucking know, stop asking me questions

3) it gave you a lot of street cred

There are many instances of aides-de-camps rising to higher status after their service, but i dont give a fuck about those nerds going into politics and law and stuff.

Most people now only know about Washington’s aides (or if you’re really autistic you know Lafayette’s too), but at the time, being an ADC to any general would get you fairly well known in society. General Sullivan’s aides seem to have been pretty well known and admired, as they are frequently mentioned in John Adams’ correspondence with other congressmen, as well as that of Benjamin Franklin with French diplomats all the way across the Atlantic.

But I imagine you’re also wondering (or at least i am) about what the everyday enlisted man thought of the ADCs, and that answer doesn’t really change. Of course, the men sitting out in the rain and mud without food for the past week are going to be envious of the guys who get to sleep in a house, but their quarters weren’t the most comfortable either. Aides-de-camp were probably the most connected out of the disconnected officers, if that makes sense. They weren’t fraternizing with the enlisted, but they were seen by them more frequently than the generals, and they were the ones advocating for the needs of the enlisted men. Even if they didn’t have any battle experience whatsoever (which really was never the case, i cant think of an aide who WOULDNT have seen battle), they would still be respected by the men as hardworkers and the only people who might actually get them food and clothes.

Thank you for the ask! I really enjoyed researching it and my family had a great time joking about me hunched over my ipad reading through the national archives while we all watched jeopardy, misspelling like every other word because its hard to type on an ipad. Im going to try to be more active, so please feel free to send further questions! I forgot how cathartic research is for me so id be very happy to do more. I have one more ask in my inbox i’ll try to get done sometime in the next few days. Love yall!

[etherealkissed88]

i asked you something and you not only were mean, but you are also making fun of me on twitter. i felt so embarrased that i had to delete my account. you made me feel so bad. i did nothing to you. you had no reason to be so mean. english is not my first lenguage so i also have trouble communicating, i understand half of what you post here. karma will hit you so hard.

lets quote what i said “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”

this isnt mean, this is sarcasm. you communicate very well actually but heres the thing: i looked at ur account and you repost a lot of loa content. if you read all those posts especially the ones about desired appearance which is what you were asking about, it doesnt make sense for you to ask me “do you believe its actually possible to manifest a desired appearance.”

and do not use your language barrier as an excuse to make me feel bad because i rly dont. if you were so bad at communitcating, you wouldn’t be able to communicate to me both this time and the previous time, plus y would u read and repost loa content if u had an issue w language? i know you understand loa but when ppl keep searching and searching for outside answers and validation, it doesnt get them anywhere. believe me - ive “coached” ppl who repeatedly asked me the same questions over and over again despite my whole account and posts being right there. they still struggle because they only ask questions and never apply.

the same fingers you used to type the question, you could have used those same fingers to scroll thro my page like you did with the other content creators. i get it if you are new to loa (even tho you could have read the content that was already there and even tho u already reposted content answering ur own question) but as someone who creates loa content everyday, its disrespectful from my point of view that i work hard for these posts and ppl dont even look at it and instead ask the most limiting questions ever. its almost like “why would i waste my time w these posts”. if you dont understand this, its bc you arent someone who gets 20 repetitive asks everyday meanwhile their answers being right on my page. it can be stressful and so annoying.

now back to my original answer: “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”. if u think this was mean, its bc you knew the answer was yes, it is possible. why else would i have a page dedicated to manifesting if it wasnt possible to “actually manifest a desired appearance”. my answer simply guided you to your own answer and to search my page if you still had (better) questions. what i said was literally not mean😭 and if you still believe so then thats fine bc its never that big of a deal. and i wasnt making fun of u on twitter, i simply said the exact thing i originally answered you with💀

idk if ur a beginner in the law or not but either way, you should know that anything is possible w the law. if u didnt know that, then now you know (and ik you know based on ur reaction to my original answer). and karma isnt real so it will not “hit me hard”🥶

im sorry if you rly have a language barrier issue but from my pov, that was the best, most appropiate reply i could have given. even other loa content creators can agree bc they know how ppl can get in their asks inbox. reread this whole thing if theres still an issue.

and dw u can just make another account like you did just now🤭

[just-antithings]

proshippers r funny to me because of the degree to which yall just lie. "we always tag our content correctly" no the fuck you dont ive been in the world you cannot trick me, trying to filter out all the ""shotacon"" when i still used ao3 was a nightmare because even when it wasnt split between 2293809 different euphemisms which changed frequently as everyone else started realizing "old man/younger man" was being used for like a 6 year old kid instead of age gaps between adults which outside of your roleplay most people do have a different stance on than pedophilia, and people constantly just posting 5 yr old/20 yr old porn ageddown porn of canon adults with zero relevant tags. this has been my experience in all of fandom, telling a proshipper that they need to avoid posting untagged graphic rape porn in tags for shounen is apparently as painful as having your leg sawed off from how people react to it. you have posts insisting that it is at all reasonable for an ao3 user who doesnt want to see pedophilia should simply filter out every possible shotacon ship which is what i did so i can tell you thats incredibly unreasonable because that number is generally in the thousands, doesn't count as "tagging correctly", and also DOESN'T WORK because again people will just not tag shit or do agedown porn without tagging it so you can be in the tag of a ship for characters who are 50 and 60 in canon when lo and behold AU porn where the older one is babysitting the younger one and theyre 20 and 10, no tags except "Au - babysitter". like tbc i do think that even if you have the minimum balls to tag your adult raping a kid porn "pedophilia" you should still be criticized for that which i know the main conceit of the anti anti movement is pretending is worse than murder, but its wild how often people let yall just lie that tagging correctly is the universal or even a common standard. thats not even getting into the fact that ao3 doesn't let you select tags to automatically filter so you have to type in every individual tag you want out every single time you do a search. but no everyone should have to spend 4 hours theorizing every possible way you could weasel words your way around describing an adult having sexual intercourse with a child and then individually type em all in just so they can see read old men fucking without one of them being turned into a middle schooler. like with every other anit anti talking point it runs into the ultimate problem that yall are lazy assholes who are in this community in the first place because youre so allergic to compassion you can only tolerate people esp children if youre jacking off to them and so any measure yall claim you take for the good of others is ultimately a lie. also i still havent forgotten all those times you defended irl pedophilia or that one time you said you had a kneejerk reaction to discredit someone talking about a case study of irl csa by defending the pedophile and blamed "antis" instead of the fact that you spend all day every day defending being attracting to children. which is much worse, obviously

[19871997]

NEED to read a natemac cmd fic kind of desperately now. Um. also thinking about the people connecting them… off the top of my head, sidcros, tyson barrie, mitch marner? like. cmd in cole harbor like I Am Here To See Sid. Uh. Definitely The Only Reason. ALSOOO weren’t they on that one golf trip together with sidcros and marner too???

GUYS. i cant believe we forgot. team north america. they were actually teammates at some point. also according to my personal favourite nhl related site hockey teammates notable shared teammates, outside of tbarrie, include: aaron ekblad (more 1oa connections and such, via tna), am34 (see aaron ekblad), nail yakupov (rip), our beloved rnh (on tna, more 1oa angst and such, something something rnh seeing how connor is w leon and then how he is w natemac at the world cup and then having a sit down with him), jeichel, JODROU ! (team north america i miss u every single day, something something jodrou having a sit down w natemac 'we broke up three years ago bud either fuck mcdavid or stop flirting with him for all our sakes'), calvin pickard, and also burakovsky and macdermid who were both on the otters w connor and the avs w nate

ALSO. somehow over the years nate's turned into connor's most consistent hook up (they were messing about during tna, spilled over into the regular season - not every time they played each other because sometimes they really do have to dip out the city as soon as they've taken their skates off, but nearly every time, and the all star game is. well. like sure, its entirely for fans and to make money but watching connor win fastest skater year on year... sometimes the competancy kink wins out over the competitiveness) and OBVIOUSLY. this changes during the 2022 playoff series (connor has some misplaced blame in the anger/disapointment post-ecf (probably knows it's misplaced but wallows in his misery), airs nate's texts and calls and the tiktoks and tweets he sends him entirely, cannot think about him without thinking about how much pain leon was in during that series, can't watch him lift the cup, can't watch him be so fucking proud of cale, without feeling sick with jealousy, and obviously someone (rnh/tbarrie..?) notices how he's so weird about it all and connor's insistent that it has nothing to do w how they were hooking up ('it's not just hooking up if it's been going on since 2016, connor' 'what else would you call it?' 'the most annoying courtship ive ever had to witness. i just got here from the leafs, connor') and that he can in fact be super normal just in general and maybe this is the natural end of their situationship ('you are way too old to be using words like 'situationship', tyson' 'who just got asked about their biological clock, connor') and its fine. really) AND THEN sid extends an invitation to connor (and to leon becuase lbr sidcros INVENTED the hockey boybestfriends who cant do anything without each other) to train at gary's that summer and connor accepts a bit too quickly knowing he'll have to sweet talk it to his agent a bit because he did agree to biosteel like, six months ago, but cmon it's sid! and in the euphoria of training at gary's (max. 20 people) instead of biosteel (half the damn gta) it slips his mind that cole harbour's second son will also be there until leon reminds him when he facetimes him. ('are you sure training with crosby is worth seeing your ex for half the summer?' 'dylan's at biosteel' '...' 'leon i have got to quit the nhl. he's not even my ex.'). ANYWAY. training at gary's also involves jonathan drouin and it's fun for connor to see what nate's like around someone he really does care about, instead of, say, a fuckbuddy and leon notices him be so fucking weird about drouin and connor's watching sidney freaking crosby and brad freaking marchand do puck battle drills in nova freaking scotia when he realises he might actually have a crush on nathan mackinnon. who's flirting with jo drouin so aggressively connor has half a mind to send a text into the old erie group chat sincerely apologising for when he was clumsily trying to flirt with dylan. (leon tells him later that helping jo with his wristshot is not actually flirting, because helping someone with thier job is not flirting, and connor mortifyingly realises that all those times leon wanted help with his stick dangles back in hte day he was not flirting. leon also tells him that he has got to get his jealously under control before jo notices, because he really doesn't deserve to get caught in all this, connor). something something eventually jo does talk to him and ends up asking if he's with leon 'out of curiosity, you guys seem close' and connor can't help himself but ask similarly about nate -> 'we messed around as kids, years and years ago, but he, uh, has his eye on someone' -> connor pretends he isnt crushed about it, because he's not, obviously, and just because nate's been connor's most consistent hook up definately doesnt mean that connor was nate's, and connor can kind of only assume it's cale, or quite literally anyone else in the denver area (is there a greater denver area? it's not really connor's bussiness to know, anymore or ever, really) -> connor and nate FINALLY. talk

maybe at the fated golf trip w sid and mitch? mitch is making nate laugh and giggle and connor realises he has it really fucking bad when he thinks that he wants to be hte one to make nate laugh like that. jesus christ -> ends up coming last by an insanely large margin -> after nate's like let me make you feel better, and they havent done this since the regular season, and jo told him that nate likes someone, and connor just, can't, be a convenient hook up for him anymore, because he knows the way these things go and he knows that the smart thing to do is to quit while youre ahead and failing that, pull the parachute when you're falling, not when youre crashing into the ocean, and nate thinks. either he can respect that, and that's fine, or he can push, just a little, because it's connor and he's pretty sure he's been a bit in love with him since team north america (and tyson has a tendancy to tell him that he falls in love with his friends as easy as breathing, but it's a different type with connor, because he loves cale, he loves gabe, he loves EJ and tyson and jo, and yeah sure he's a little bit in love with all of them, but connor he's wholly in love with, so much so that he doesnt really know what to do with himself, doesn't know what to do when he sees oilers admin post clips of him, leon and tyson messing around, or when he sees him and ekblad turn back into sixteen year olds with eachother or when he sees the way he sticks to leon's side like there's nowhere else he can be, wants to accept that he wouldnt even crack top ten of connor's list of people he cares a lot about, but.) anwya. -> nate pushes a bit connor thinks nate knows? and has known the entire camp and gets a bit upset about it -> nate literally just found out now. world changed. stunned. tyson cannot find out for at least a year. he owes cale a slushie (cale, who was there at the all star game. cale who shoved him in connor's direction when they were all at the bar and told him to stop making eyes at him if he wasn't intending on picking him up). -> they get together ♥️ eventually.

[suffarustuffaru]

"i-it's not like i like you or anything but we're FRIENDS NOW. youre my friend. BUT ID STILL LEAVE YOU THE MOMENT THIS COMPANY FAILS OKAY ITS NOTHING PERSONAL" and proceeds to like clean up corpses for this guy on the down low. (Otto bdsm post)

I just find that last part so funny to compare pride if Otto with. Pride If "Otto was forced into destroying the kingdom for Subaru" vs Envy If "Otto was stopped from destroying the empire for Subaru" I'd love for those two to be able to talk.

haah i love how you quoted my own otto bdsm post... HAH (it is once again funny to me that ive opened pandoras box on this blog man........ now i get bdsm asks.... literally a dream come true and none of my mutuals will let me live it down BHAHA)

anyway!!! yeah yeah pride if otto vs envy otto are soo soo funny to compare <3 pfft i think ive seen you around in the comment section of my pride otto multichapter fic (ty once again for the nice comments and cool asks :O !!) but no yeah like pride and main otto are really funny. but the parallels too are super interesting..... you summarized them really well pfft.

like.... the way pride otto is Forced to do these things for pridebaru. like of course pride otto barely gets any screentime but theres stuff implied yknow? like he has to meet with subaru often, hes the messenger boy of sorts between subaru and russell fellow, otto also delivers the poison that kills julius, otto also dies somehow off screen before the climax of pride if.... and then main otto over here Choosing repeatedly to follow subaru and die for subaru and do all these sorts of things for subaru HAH - the contrast is really really strong!!

like of course wrath if otto is also a debt slave like pride if otto, but pride if otto's his own flavor of unique just bc hes forced to stay in proximity to subaru when he either may not want to or he feels similar to subaru (who goes "maybe in another life we couldve made good friends, but this Isnt that life")!! seeing how jaded and empty pride if otto is is super fascinating, bc you can kind of see the origins of it in main otto's tendency for cynicism and ruthlessness !!

but also on another level i feel like pride otto would be soooo confused and disgusted hearing about main otto. pride otto might be out here like "so not only are you friends with this guy but youre his boytoy too???? lmfao you loser" HAH

but yeah i think itd be fun for them to meet. pride if otto, the otto who never made friends and only learned to harden his heart and be forced to be an accomplice to horrible crimes...... main otto, the otto who made friends and is so so painfully devoted but it drives him to do drastic things some times.... crimes in the name of love versus being forced to assist in it.... like main otto learned how to make friends, learned the power of friendship with other people, but his loyalty is "poisoning" him while pride otto supplied the poison that kills julius...... ough......... and pride otto dies at the end...... all alone.... poisoned by other people, poisoned by what he had to do.....

but also i think my favorite bit of pride otto trivia is that word of god thing that pride otto took advantage of the fire and went to go kill russell fellow before he died.... specifically to avenge frufoo, his ground dragon.... like. ough. pain. absolute pain. pride ottos last act was to kill his main abuser??? to avenge his one and only friend????? im gonna bawl my eyes out HAHHA. but it seems that the power of friendship may have briefly won for a second there.... :,))) like im sure ottos most definitely killing russell fellow also bc thats Literally the guy that enslaved him but - the way its specifically noted that ottos main reason was Frufoo. im sobbing on the floor.

anyway i completely forgot where i was going with this but in conclusion pride otto is such a guy. 20 seconds of screentime??? dude stomped over my heart in 20 seconds. and if he met main otto i think he'd either go "wtf is wrong with you why would you do all of this for subaru??? him??? that CLOWN???? why???" or pride otto would wanna strangle main otto for being so lucky HAH. pride otto learns frufoo is still alive and well in main route and pride otto instantly launches himself at main otto like a feral cat -

[tiktaalic]

Another pretentious post warnnnnning sorry but. hm. the articulation of this thought.

one. i feel like i do watch a lot of #nothing girl shows where everything's very low stakes and has ardent let people enjoy things with their brain off defenders. and i like these shows i love em. but its very much . 20 minutes of television. cool. 👍. im going to sleep now.

two. i a mcurrently reading a fanfiction that is the most play by play of a fanfiction that could ever be done. there's plucky Girl Best Friend. There's slutty Guy Friend who's like thats whats up love is love. what do you mean you're not dating. theres "so that just happened." and dated references . and mixtapes. it is Every Fanfiction. and. i think i am realizing. the reason that i never read plotted fanfiction is because most of the time its this. and it sucks. ive speent the last 100 pages going. ok. and when is it going to get fucked up. one of the characters is #SoNeurotic that he goes to therapy 4 times a week and is on antidepressants but he hasn't said something unforgivably cruel even once? if this was destiel fanfiction* there may not be any overarching conflict but at least ONE of them would be one. unmedicated. TWO. crazier than all get out. THREE. the most closeted man this world has ever seen. FOUR! have the sickest family background invented.

*passable destiel fanfiction. a level above bad and a level below good will hit this mark. good will also obviously hit this mark but the point i am making is that it's a fairly low bar that many destiel fanfictions leap over.

what am i saying. stream epota i guess. is the mesage.

[nobodywritingao3]

i feel kind of sick making this post so please excuse me if i sound like a rambling mess. i am not the type of person to talk in detail about my life in online places cuz i live in fear of this getting back to my abuser but shubble's story punched all my most sensitive spots and i want to talk about it

(really long sensitive post)

ive gotten kind messages from people that i havent responded to. the idea of responding to people individually kind of makes me feel sick. so im doing this instead. and im also going to vent really hard because i am not doing well and talking about this to my therapist is soul crushingly embarrassing because wilbur soot is a minecraft man and im a freshly turned 20 year old who pays rent and is respected by my therapist and i dont want to admit that i wrote fanfic about a 30 year old white boy i discovered in quarantine when i was 15. can you imagine that conversation? id have to explain what the dream smp is.

when i watched shubble's video for the first time, i was in total disbelief. i couldnt believe that wilbur soot had done these things but i knew that the liklihood of it being anyone else was pretty low. i chose to hope that the story was not about him, and that if it was that he was a reformed abuser who had reorganized his value system and respected his partners now. i had a lot expectations. then he released his statement and i was horrified. i was disappointed and kind of in denial. his statement was worse than anything i had prepared for as 'worst case scenario.' as time has passed my denial has mostly dulled but im ashamed and im embarassed and im badly triggered.

i kind of hysertically hoped that it was a sick prank that shubble and wilbur cooked up and would get horribly cancelled for, but its not a prank, theres no "haha sike" moment, and wilbur abused shelby.

his response undid me because i saw so much of my own abuse in the words he used.

abusers are really good at making people take a centrist "two sides to every story" stance. i dont know how to describe this to people who have never been abused, but i will do my best

most people are taught that when theres an argument between two people, both parties carry some amount of blame and if you want to resolve that issue, it's a good idea to look at your part in the dynamic. we're also taught to keep our disagreements between ourselves and to not involve other people in our drama.

these are sensible sentiments, but abusers are very good at manipulating these sentiments.

when a victim speaks up for themselves and they call someone an abuser, what they are saying is: "this person cruelly bullied me and hurt me and exerted control over me that i did not deserve or ask for or elicit."

that's a heavy accusation and it contradicts sentiments we are taught like "it takes two to tango" and "dont involve others with your relationship drama."

many abusers are charismatic people. id even say most. when you hear this accusation about someone you think is really cool, your natural instinct is to ask for their side of the story.

they will tell you some version of this:

"i am shocked and hurt that she would call me an abuser. we've been having relationship problems recently, and sometimes i lose my temper. im not proud of that. ive done a lot of things im not proud of. it's true that i did [insert played down act of violence] to her, but you wouldnt believe the horrible things she was saying to me. i lost control, and im so ashamed of myself."

this version of events makes the abuser seem reasonable, it makes the victim seem irrational and quick to blame and hysterical

from here, a lot of people will nod thoughtfully and go. "yeah. yeah. that makes sense. everyone has a unique perspective. the fact that shes attributing all the blame to him without recognizing her own flaws and contributions to the relationship while he does shows that hes the reasonable one here. hes such a chill guy. the things shes saying dont make sense at all. i probably wont say it to her face, but i think shes in the wrong."

wilbur's response hit all the beats im familiar with. it was so in line with everything my abuser used against me, and in line with what ive heard other victims say their abusers used against them, and in line with examples ive read and witnessed and had countless psychiatrists walk me through that reading it was like getting hit by a train.

the hope that i carried with me through that week was that wilbur was a reformed abuser. but reading that response gave me the gut wrenching confirmation that he wasnt.

thinking about it too much literally makes me sick and shaky in a way i havent experienced since my own abuser tracked me down the first time and gave me a beautifully wrapped gift. with my abuser, i had several years trapped with him where all the love i felt for him disappeared and was replaced by total hatred for everything he put me through. i wasnt expecting this from wilbur at all, and i feel fucking sick because this was a man i sincerely admired and looked up to a lot. i really liked wilbur soot. he released that response and this image in my head that i had of him was tainted by the memories of my abuser.

im reminded of one event several years ago where i was choked. i tried to ask for help but everyone who knew immediately reached out to him and asked for "his side of the story." i dont want to talk about what he did to me after that. all that matters is that in the end, no one believed me. everyone took his side over mine and insisted that i was lying or exaggerating or trying to get attention or trying to make him look bad. people who i loved and thought would always be there for me sent me paragraph long text messages calling me a bitch and a cunt. the person i loved the most in the world told me that i was out of line and said point blank that they were sorry, but couldnt believe me over the person who choked me. i had never felt so alone.

ive been having a rough time. i confided in a friend who is trying to escape his abusive husband, and he gently told me that this might mean i have "a type," meaning im naturally drawn to people who are abusive. after i escaped, i took a lot of solace in the fact that i was inspired so much by wilbur soot. i thought he was progressive and stood up for womens rights and was anti bigotry and all those lovely good things. this man i admired so much was the image of healthy, nonviolent, kind masculinity. finding out he isnt has made me question myself and my own judgment and it's making me wonder if the people i let in my life and the people im drawn to are people who i subconsciously know will hurt me.

as of now, its been a year and a half since i escaped my abusive family at 18 years old. i turned 20 like half a second ago. the past 18 months of my life have been devoted to looking into legal protection, getting therapy to undo nearly 2 decades worth of ptsd, trying to keep all my baggage to myself because i dont want to burden my friends anymore than i have, and holding down a steady job so that i can afford rent without having to rely on the parents of my friends to house and feed me and keep my location secret from an insane group of people who reeeeally want me to come back even tho im pretty sure one of them might """""accidentally"""" kill me one day

i feel ashamed and embarrassed by being this affected by wilbur soot. parasocial relationships are looked down upon and i feel like the perfect stereotype of a hysterical, delusional teenager / young lady finding out that her hero is "a flawed human being, just like you and me - seriously, what did you expect?!"

i already see people jumping to his defense, although i try to look away because that is also extremely triggering for me.

it is hard not to acknowledge wilbur's humanity, and i want to clarify that i do feel compassion for the amount of death threats, doxing, and isolation he is undoubtedly experiencing right now. no matter what you do, i dont believe that retributive justice or revenge is a proactive, sane response. i am sincerely worried that he will either try to kill himself as a last ditch attempt for sympathy OR that he will actually just kill himself from the public shaming. i do not want him to experience a mental health crisis and i do not want him to die, even tho he has horribly disappointed me and reminded me of so many bad things

this was kind of an insane post. im ready for it to get 1 note and then experience a horrifying amount of embarrassment as i realize that people read this and know disgusting amounts about me as a person, but i want to share my experience as someone who has been abused. i want to offer solace to people who are in the same boat and possibly reach someone who might have otherwise believed wilbur was telling the truth.

i want to end this post on a positive note, so im going to share some naive hope ive been repeating to myself for the past few days

i hope that people believe shubble. i hope she finds comfort and compassion and healing. i hope she can internalize that what happened to her was not her fault. i hope she lives a happy life surrounded by people who see her and care about her

i hope that the people close to wilbur make him confront this side of himself. i hope he fixes his abuse problem and reorganizes his values. i hope his network of people is strong enough not to abandon him entirely but to intervene and make him work on himself. i hope he stays alive and i hope that he becomes an advocate for abused women

this was cheesy and unrealistic but ive been sending my hope into the universe and trying not to shut down because i dont know what else to do and my two hours of government issued weekly ptsd therapy is already devoted to the horrible things i experienced firsthand

anyway

as far as my fanfiction goes???? i dont fucking know.

im not going to delete it. im definitely taking a break and at least stepping into a pause so i can properly reflect on what to do in the meantime. as a musician and writer and creative in general, i was inspired by many aspects of wilbur soot for years and i need a second to chill out and get a hold of myself

maybe ill complete my work. if i do ill upload the finished products in one go and probably orphan them. and maybe delete my ao3 account. god knows at this point

i am still cringing so hard at myself for making this post. it's very emotional and i try to sell myself as serious, intellectual person. maybe this post will be received great or badly or just be ignored. in any case ill be embarrassed so it doesnt really matter how anyone feels about me after this. if you took the time to read, thank you for hearing me out. and if you didnt, im glad that i got a little catharsis

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

can you explain what you mean by not bad parents just bad parents to maple specifically? because i dont think you mean like abuse apologist but im struggling to understand the post

i explained a little where its like. the circumstances around maples birth and childhood and i can explain a bit more here. as best i can at least without revealing everything here rather than on maples blog. no idea how familiar you are with what ive dropped about maples parents but his mom is ivy, his dad is ulex, his father is venus, an his pa is nettle. no idea how much ill use their names going on from this point forward but its probably useful to have.

its VERY hard to raise a kid. even the best parents fuck up their kid a little somehow. and sometimes its not really anyones fault its just shit that has to happen from circumstances like a kid that grew up in a family that suddenly became poor cause of layoffs might be kinda stressed out because of the financial issues and thats not the parents fault they were living comfortably with good jobs when the kid was born and then afterwards lost those jobs suddenly and they couldnt have predicted that would happen like a few years down the line. or having a kid while your mental health is GREAT and then like a bad accident happens and your partner dies and just pregnancy/new parent hormones combined with that grief tank your mental health and ability to raise the kid. thatsno ones fault thats shitty circumstance and its a similar kinda thing tha happened with maples parents.

maples parents were all in like university/ranger school when she was born. they were all VERY BUSY and all low/no contact with their parents for various reasons at the time ranging from bad relationship with family to being in college and wanting to be independent while also being stupid irresponsible 19/20 year olds. maple was not planned and everyone kinda deferred to his mom to make decisions since she was the one pregnant. this was a bad idea because his mom was not mentally stable AT ALL at this point for multiple reasons. she dissasociated for basically the entire pregnancy and for much of maples first 6 years of life. post partum depression and psychosis beat her fucking ass at one point. IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS her luxray died as well. ivy's paranoia and lack of awareness of anything that was happening around her led to her suggesting they all just stay in school and finish their shit so they all have better jobs in the longterm and can take care of maple later as well as kept any of them from contacting family from help. she was not even aware that she had kinda pressued everyone into these decisions and FOR A WHOLE SIX YEARS thought ulex had dropped out of ranger schools to take care of maple. he hadnt. (side note ivy is a therapist now. she was in school for that when maple was younger. yeah. when your therapist needs a therapist more than you). once she had kinda gotten out of that spell when maple was 6 she still kinda did the bare minimum because she was afraid of being her abusive father. if ANY of these circumstances were different. if any of her partners realized how fucked up ivy was maple would have had a VASTLY different childhood and be not anywhere near as fucked up. they would have been fine. its just the fact they were all in university and ivy won the most mentally ill woman competition for like 7 years consecutively that made them raise maple badly. hell, ivy has realized she FUCKED UP. she wants a relationship with maple and maple does want a relationship with her but right now maple is terribly affraid of her (for easons that are not her fault) and they cannot have this relationship. maples other parents did what they can to fix things as well its just hard rn when maples in paldea and the only parent in paldea is super busy with work usually so they only get to hang out every few weeks.

if they had another kid now that kid would be raised well. maple is just the worlds worst example of born at a bad time.

[courtney-deserved-better]

I’m curious about your writing process. Like do make outlines from start to finish, or plan things out as you go. I love how your writing feels so well written and planned out, like everything you write has some sort of payoff. Anyways sorry for rambling😅, have a good day❤️❤️❤️❤️

ooo this is such a great question! my long fics generally tend to be pretty planned out. but ive been learning recently that having less of a plan and just jumping into a story is actually better for my motivation and for plot points happening organically. part of the reason i tend to write competition fics as opposed to other settings is that the structure of total drama allows me to do less planning and rely on what comes up spontaneously because i already have a framework im operating within. so i tend to plan out elimination orders and general arcs for characters.

i would say of my long fics, slippery slopes is the most planned out, amicus curiae is somewhere in the middle, and reprised and the courtney time travel au are the least planned out. i had very specific scenes i wanted to have happen each chapter of slippery slopes and i think part of why it's a strong fic is because a lot was planned out in advance (like, months and months in advance). but there were still moments that surprised me (alejandro and courtney's friendship was never meant to happen) and caused me to deviate from my plan for the better.

i started writing amicus curiae on a whim and i got 40k words in before i realized that the courtnemma relationship would work way better if they actually knew each other before the fic started (originally they met on the show). it was a really good discovery but unfortunately meant i had to rewrite ~20 chapters to fit that which was a pain in the ass but ultimately for the better. amicus curiae was a fic where i was really figuring things out as they went along (i changed who the winners would be 3 times) but i still had a clear idea of the personal journeys i wanted the characters to go through that weren't necessarily reliant on the competition/structure (ask me about this more once im able to talk without spoiling it!!)

the courtney time travel au is a serious experiment in that its very focused on interpersonal relationship and yet almost no eliminations are planned out in advance. everything is very spontaneous despite being a rewrite of the first season both for me and for courtney in the fic. which i think helps it not become too rote! but i also have no idea how things are going to go from point a (the basic straining chapters, which i just finished) to point b (the post finale chapters).

im writing reprised for fun as something low stakes and silly (because i love amicus curiae but its angsty enough that writing it can be emotionally exhausting sometimes) and i have the elimination order decided and very basic arcs/plot points for some of the characters but its open ended enough that i can have fun with it! and it probably wont end being one of my more narratively strong fics but that's okay <3

one of my more recent struggles with amicus curiae has been spending so much time developing the alenoah and courtnemma relationships that i find myself going aaaaa!! how am i gonna get these two together before the fic is over?? its really taught me to have a clear idea of when character dynamics shift, especially for romantic ones that are going to get together sometime throughout the fic. i love pining but i find pining for almost the whole fic and then only having the characters get together and be in a relationship for like two seconds at the end to be somewhat narratively unsatisfying.

so yeah i would say i try to plan out the character & character relationship arcs and i use the structure of competition fics for framework, but i don't plan out many details/specific scenes before i write them unless they pop into my head and then ill write the idea down and come back to it when its time to write the scene. i find that not planning out conversations/interactions can make dialogue much more organic when i write it on the spot and can lead to new discoveries about the characters.

as for payoff, i tend to go for the general rule of chekhov's gun: if there's a gun in the first act, it has to go off in the third act. basically, i try not to introduce any narrative threads if i don't intend to resolve them in some way later on in the fic. for example in slippery slopes, i introduced my version of alejandro's family issues with him alluding to his oldest brother carlos distancing himself from his family, and in the last chapter i have carlos showing up for alejandro and helping him get away from his family as well. pretty much as soon as i started writing alejandro thinking about carlos, i knew carlos would be there for him in the end.

planning things out can be super helpful and i certainly couldn't start writing a long fic without having any kind of plan, but ive found that having suuuper detailed outlines and knowing every little thing that's going to happen in advance is personally stifling for me as a writer and kills my motivation. so im learning to strike a healthy balance.

thank you so much for this ask! i love talking about writing!

[aeoneskova]

20 questions for fic writers :)

Thank you so much @ulouism for the tag! <33

How many works do you have on ao3? 7 works are currently available to read on my ao3 :)

What is your total ao3 word count? 569,216 words - i’m honestly flabbergasted

What fandoms do you write for? So far only Harry Potter, though I've been interested in some spiderman or stranger things stuff which I might write for soon.

Top 5 fics by kudos? In order: Honey Honey, Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, the Funny Tricks of Time, Seven Dials, Just in Case.

Do you respond to comments? The majority of them! I try my best to answer every one, or at least one if you've commented on multiple chapters in a row :)

Which of your fics have the angstiest ending? this is hard, all my halloween one shots are very angsty but which is worse? James and Lily dying, Marlene and Dorcas dying, or Mary obliviating herself? I'll leave that up to debate lol

Which of your fics had the happiest ending? I'll go with seven dials, considering that's the only fluffy fic I've actually finished, though goflb might take that spot once its done :))

Do you get hate on fics? I had an incident a couple months ago where I got flooded with some nasty comments, and I've had a couple things in the past. But so many people here came to my defence, it was lovely to see and I can't thank you all enough!

Do you write smut? Not yet... I get awkward... and scared someone I know irl will see it... but you never know...

Do you write crossovers? I have a couple marauder fic wips which take a lot of inspiration from other stories, like the Martian and httyd, but I wouldn't mark them as crossovers when I post them cause they're mainly hp

Has anyone stolen your fics? Not that I know of, hope it stays that way lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? No but i’d be open to any requests if someone did want to :)

Ever co-written a fic? No and not sure if i’d want to, i’m a massive control freak and procrastinator so I think i’d get stressed

What's your all-time favourite ship? I’ve gotta say wolfstar, my loves <33 though I do dabble in drarry and perciver, I don't think anything will top them

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you will? I don't think I can pick lmao I have so many idea folders and half finished first chapters that I want to write but I can't balance them all. I suppose I'll go with my wolfstar pirate fic That's Life

What are your writing strengths? I think im good with characters and plot, or at least that's what I enjoy doing most and what comes most naturally to me. I waste so much water standing in the shower thinking through things... I'd say im quite a proficient editor too, but idk if that counts

What are your writing weaknesses? I'm gonna say dialogue cause sometimes when I read back over conversations, they don't feel right and I spend ages tweaking it. And can I say procrastination? I struggle so much in starting writing, but once I get into it i’m fine.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I don't trust google translate enough to write in another language unless I knew myself it was right, so in most cases i’d find a way around it. I don't mind dialogue in other languages if its for a reason, but if that means I have to translate every other sentence it can get a bit annoying

First fandom you wrote for? A Harry Potter x Percy Jackson fic on Quotev that we won't talk about ...

Favourite fic you've ever written? I have to say I'm most proud of Honey Honey, its the only full length fic ive finished but quality wise i’d say Seven Dials is my favourite

No pressure tags: @arakhnee @pretentiouswreckingball @residentrookie and anyone else who wants to join in :)

[cometcrystal]

Theres this one customer i hate more than anyone else that comes in here.

He constantly skirts policy and sends his fucking secretary to cash large checks for him and get cashiers checks. And every time i try and get that cunts id she FIGHTS ME ON IT and it makes me so fucking mad it makes me SO mad. Ive posted about her before though. But we can't really enforce policy with him bc he has a lot of money and we dont want him to close his accounts. Kms

He also told my coworker a LOT of unneeded information about how all his girlfriends have been like 19 years old and he gave one of them an STD and was giving her money 20 years later after finally tracking her down because he felt bad. This poor woman has probably just tried to live her life AWAY FROM YOU and you think you can fix your fuckups with money?? I hate you.

Also he always calls me Gorgeous and i hate it. Hes dying from diabetes or something and i hope it hurts.

Anyway todays event was he asked why were closed on wednesday and we said it was for juneteenth and he laughed really loud and went THAT'S RIDICULOUS. And my coworkers laughed.

And part of why im in such a bad mood now is because he gave me ANOTHER reason to hate him but ALSO im gonna have to deal with mfs being racist about juneteenth next week and its so bleak!!! Its so dire!!!

Like my coworkers who are here today dont even seem to agree with me on the juneteenth thing. Like i thought that, even if someone is conservative, they would agree with me that Slavery Was Bad and emancipation was good, and a holiday celebrating the anniversary seems logical. like i would assume Most people would agree with me bc thats bare basics. But i guess not lol!!!!!!!!!!

And they were telling me not to let the customer bother me. Dont let him get to me. And thats not how it fucking works!!!!!! Not at all!!!!! Just go outside and enjoy :) being hot is a mindset. Ignore the sun. Dont let the UV rays bother you queen. Happy people dont get sunburn. Thats what you sound like to me.

Anyway. Im in a bad mood.

[fizzbot]

I literally just sent you one but what if. You did more. For me? :3333

9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24 VIOLENCE (please do not look at how I spelled it in the last one) ask game <333

3, 4, 13, 17 (This time with Octavia), 18 (Striker), 22 (Husk), 24 (This time with Fizz), 25 (This time with Charlie) for the other fandom ask game :333

JKLDHFJKLSDFHJKL NO ITS OK I LOVE GIVING YOU MY THINKIES!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDD lets do this!!!!!!!! >:333333

violence ask game og post here!

9. worst part of canon for hh, its the valangel plotline. god its so bad. you cant have a silly joke character also be a horrific abuser, you have to pick one. also dont hire rape fetish artists to handle a very real?? issue?? hello??? for hb,,,,,i gotta pick the same vein and give it to stolitz. I KNOW I KNOW i bitched a lot about them in the last answer post but JKLSDFJKLHJKf IT MAKES ME SO MAD. especially bc (much like hazbin) the original plot of the story is SO FUCKING GOOD. a group of low-ranking hell creatures run an illegal business where the access the human realm??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME. THATS SO GOOD. i love that its a direct parallel to hazbin's "solving the overpopulation" main plot JKLSHDFJKLDS ITS SO FUNNY AND SO PERFECT AND WE WERE ROBBED IN BOTH SHOWS FOR VIVZIES STUPID FUCKING FETISH BAIT

10. worst part of fanon the vivzie dickriders are so goddamn annoying. ive noticed that this is kind of a trend in any media that has a large "critic" audience. like it also totally happened with miraculous ladybug. but for some reason when a bunch of people hate on the show bc it sucks, mostly bc the creator also sucks, it spawns a parallel group of people who will defend anything and everything about it. like there are people who devote entire blogs and accounts to ""disproving"" vivzie allegations (which no one has ever done successsfully btw bc she did all of the shit shes being accused of). and theres people who will defend every shitty plotpoint and piece of bad writing and leave no room for nuance. like, yes, im critical of the shows, but i can admit theres good in them. obviously i enjoy them enough to have a sideblog for them. but like. these people dont understand that its GOOD to critisize media, ESPECIALLY media that you like. its important to acknowledge when certain trends can be seen in the work, because otherwise youre going to be more susceptible to being negatively influenced. like, vivzie has history of antiblackness/racism/antisemitism. is it a coincidence that these people are horribly misrepresented in the show?

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered only 2 related to the hellaverse actually!! but ive had to put a whole bunch of different variants/spellings. i have radioapple and adamsapple blocked just cause theyre the most prevalent ships that i dont like.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them MIMZY. i fucking love her SO MUCH!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD part of why i despise radioapple and its shippers so much is bc so much of the fandom hates her for ""interrupting their moment"". SHUT THE FUCK UP shes the best part of their song and also the best girl and shes so pretty and cute and youre all WRONG for hating her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! light of my life <333333333 spinoff show about just mimzy immediately

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... rosie x mimzy :(((((((( they dont even have a proper, fully agreed upon shipname. i thought you all loved old women yuri :/// also POLYVEES????? i am SOOOOO sick of the ""vel and her gay dads"" shit. it is so goddamn annoying. VOX CALLS HER "MY DEAR". VAL CALLS HER "BABYDOLL." theyre all fucking.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring honestly? all of hazbin. the heaven arc was just SO rushed and still felt like the same thing was happening every episode. helluva never/hasnt become tedious to me just bc its so much more episodic i think

21. part of canon you think is overhyped the fuckin. shipping. stolitz in helluva is SOOOOOO hyped and for NOTHING and the whole war was hyped in hazbin and yet was also so incredibly nothing. OH AND PENTIOUS' REDEMPTION??? everyones acting like its the most interesting plot twist ever as if it doesnt suck objectively

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores loona and via ://// the only time i see them talked about is when people are shipping them which is gross. i really really really want to see more of them and have them be developed more and given personalities outside their shitty fathers.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse VALANGEL. OH MY GODDDDDDDDD i fucking HATE hearing ""hot takes"" about that arc. THEYRE NEVER HOT TAKES. EVER. theyre just excusing vals actions or excusing VIVS actions in making it. I HATE IT SO MUCH

fandom ask game og post here!

3. NoTP? OOH. i have a bunch. ummm. literally any striker ship that isnt blitzker. striker x chaz, striker x moxxie, striker x millie, striker x sallie, striker x stella, etc etc i could literally list them all day. i hate all of them. every single one cannot work without mischaracterizing him to hell. he works with blitz because theyre equals and they LIKE EACH OTHER. OH DUH radioapple!!!! literally biggest NOTP ever i fucking hate them. i hate adamsapple, and cherrisnake, anddddd.......there are obviously more but im blanking. some i dislike for more innocent reasons. like any ship with tex and/or any ship with sallie? i hate all of them just because those characters are so. Nothing. they have 0 substance apart from being sexualized

4. Is there a popular pairing you don't necessarily dislike but aren't too invested in? OH well i guess i kinda answered this above hsdjkf. i guess my hottest take is fallenstar (chaggie) and m&m. i simply do not give a shit about them. i care a LITTLE more for vega n charlie, but like. pretty much JUST because theyre sapphic. what does m&m have going for them, they are literally textbook boring married couple. who give a shit

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day? sjkdfhjksdf ive doodled them beforrreeeee but ive gotta draw more verbie <////3 im thinkin about making a finished piece for them they are CUTE.......otherwise i think ive drawn/written about like everyone i care for sjkdfhjsdkf

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think [Octavia] would like? AWW this is cute....ummmm!!!!! a piece of lore i just made up for her is that i think shes rlly interested in human culture. like she likes movies from earth, and literature from up there, so on and so forth <3333 shes really into horror movies but specifically the old and bad ones <3333 she will rattle off 100000 facts to you about how they made that fake blood for that scene or "did you know they used a REAL chainsaw?". i think she has an affinity for the macabre BUT i also think she has a bit of a soft spot. she was kind of robbed of a proper childhood a little bit (as were most goetians) so shes a sucker for sappy soft stuff too. she casually watches mlp or care bears and plays lots of minecraft and terraria <3

18. Type [Striker's]'s name and tell us what the autocomplete suggests as the next word shjkdfhjksdfhjkfsd ok so i wasnt sure whether this meant using google autocomplete or phone autocomplete. i tried google first and my only result was 'striker helluva boss' cause thats what i google for art ref. but then i tried it on my phone and. uh........................................................................this is so embarassing. i pulled out my phone and pressed the middle autocomplete button a few times and it landed on 'striker tying up blitzos arms'...........LISTEN. IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WRITING DOWN THIS ART IDEA AND IT REMEMBERED. WHY DID IT REMEMBER

22. Give us a headcanon for [Husk] UMMMM!!!!!!! it is so muc harder to come up with these for characters i dont relate to as much..........i am so sorry but i have literally thought for so long and cant come up with anything that you havent already said <////////////////////333

24. What's your favourite thing about [Fizz]? i remember really not thinking anything of it at the time but i LOVE the transition of how he is in public/at ozzies to how he is at home!!!! its really interesting to see him soften up and i think theres a lot to be said about the persona he puts on in public that i just KNOW the show isnt gonna explore. i dont think hes the. best anxiety rep, but i do think there are moments where its compelling. OH and i LOVE watching his energy bounce off blitz, its super fun :3

25. What's your least favourite thing [Charlie] said or did? grgghgg ohh girl,,,,,you had so much wasted potential ://// this is a lot more nitpicky than my answer for stolas but its easily that one moment in ep 4. where she WHINES and CRIES like a BABY over angel and vega carries her away. the infantilization is SOOOO irritating, esp bc literally in the NEXT EPISODES they try to portray her as a strong and confident good leader???? its so pathetic and SO frustrating especially when she could easily make it up to angel by KILLING HIS RAPIST.

WAHHHJSKDFHJKLD THANKS FOR ASKINGGGGG i love getting out all my thinkies :33333