#i think this is her worst habit? behavior?
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in my head and in my heart, i know for a fact that all 3 todoroki children have really unfavorable habits that they got from endeavor.
fuyumi is mean. just honest to god mean. she doesn't even mean it most of them time. just being everyone's emotional support all the time causes her to suppress her meaner emotions and when someone pushes, it all comes out. but there is nothing in the world sharper than fuyumi's tongue on a bad day.
natsuo, ever the middle child. always there and always forgotten. natsuo is quick to get physically aggressive. never on people, god no. but he'll punch through walls like it's nothing. he's had his fingers broken and set more times than he can remember. he hates this part of himself. he already looks so much like enji, does he need to have his father's destructive rage too?
shouto... where to even begin with shouto. the child kept under enji's thumb the longest. shouto is more like enji than he would like to admit. he eats his food the way enji eats his food, greens first then everything else. he does his morning routine a near copy of his father's. this is what happens when you spend every waking moment of the first 15 years of your life with your abuser. that being said, shouto, ignoring the ever present constant thrum of anger that hides just below his skin, shouts a lot when he's angry. it comes from the chest, booming and seething. it scares people. he knows this and he hates that he cannot stop himself.
they don't like thinking about but when it happens all of them can't help but think i'm just like dad.
#god if touya lived long enough he probably would've picked up something really shitty#anyway mean!fuyumi is sooo true to me#that woman bottles up soo much in the hopes of being enough for the people around her#i think this is her worst habit? behavior?#physically aggressive!natsu is actually canon i think#the way he hit that doorframe at the family dinner.... yeah i know what you are#and shou. god i had the hardest time deciding what to choose for shou.#but in the end i went with the way he yelled at that cop after the stain incident#that kind of anger looked a little tooo natural on you my son#anyway i think the punching walls/throwing things started cause natsu was always an angry kid#and like there wasn't much he could do for his sister and brother and he was going crazy hearing his father beat the the shit out of shou#and one day he just snapped and punched the wall of the shed out back and god it felt sooo good and he didn't stop until fuyumi was pulling#him away screaming#god i love todofam angst#todoroki fuyumi#todoroki natsuo#todoroki shouto#todofam#bnha
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UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS(?) THE HASHIRA HAVE
Pillars x GN!Reader
a/n; Friendly reminder that this is how I view them. None of the things below are canon or hating on their character. I’d also like to add; I don’t know what to make the title, so I’m making it unhealthy behaviors. Some may be healthy, some may not, so ignore the title and enjoy these headcanons (?)
warnings; unintentional gaslight / intentional gaslighting, toxic behaviors / habits, angst(ish), toxic relationships(?)
bold words = unhealthy behaviors
GIYU TOMIOKA
~He has extreme depression episodes to the point he doesn’t want to see you, in order to prevent you from getting hurt.
Tomioka loves you, he really does. However, in order to prevent him from hurting your feelings (or hurting you in general) he distances himself whenever things get slightly bad. He thinks he’s a disease and doesn’t want to affect you in away way, so he does it in the worst way possible; not talking with you.
~He ghosts you unintentionally
This is similar to the first one, however, he does it whenever he’s feeling better, but still feels guilty for not interacting with you. He doesn’t speak with you, avoids you like the plague, sometimes doesn’t attend Hashira meetings in order to avoid you. After a few months, he goes back to you like nothing had happened. This ended up the relationship forming between the two of you to die out.
SHINOBU KOCHO
~She’s really rude to you for no “apparent” reason.
When the two of you started your relationship, you knew she masks her hostility with a soft smile. She didn’t feel the need to mask her true self around you. However, she can be rude to you for no reason or that something is bothering her. Sure, she’s a mature person, but even mature people can be petty. She doesn’t tell you what’s wrong and even sometimes blames it on you.
~She doesn’t take your concerns seriously.
This applies to her consuming poison. You worry for her health, obviously voicing your concerns. However, she brushes it off like it’s nothing. You guys had numerous arguments because of this subject.
KYOJURO RENGOKU
~He’s too pushy
Whenever you need comfort, he tends to give advice that would more likely help his situation rather than your own. He doesn’t understand why you won’t take it, he tends to get upset because you don’t ’trust him.’
~Too positive
He always tries to find the bright-side of the situation. For example: whenever somebody you’re close with passes or gets severely injured, he always tries to find positive energy of the situation. Which, understandably, makes you upset. He doesn’t mean it, yet he can’t help it in a way?
TENGEN UZUI
~He gets upset when things don’t go his way
Now, I’m not saying this man is a child, but I do sometimes see him getting upset over things that aren’t important. Like, choosing where the five of you get to eat, who’s choosing the dress, etc. He just finds it somewhat degrading..in a way. Like, he’s the man, of course he should have the final say in everything. (Sarcasm)
~His mood determines everybody’s moods
Whenever he’s angry, everybody else’s mood is suddenly down. The air is extremely palpable.
MITSURI KANROJI
~Overthinks, a lot. This sweet angel, known as Mitsuri, tends to overthink a lot. She knows you’ll never cheat on her or betray her in anyway, but she still can’t help that you have eyes for somebody else or wants to pursue someone else. You have reassured her many times that your eyes are on her and her only, but she still has doubts and it just won’t go away. She wants it to go away, but it simply can’t. These doubts in her mind made her somewhat self-conscious.
~Unintentionally guilt-trips you.
Mitsuri tends not to watch her wording or how it’s phrased, so she’ll often say things like, “I’m sorry, I’m such a screw-up, I ruin everything.” However, I don’t think she’ll word it like that, but it’s something along those lines. She doesn’t mean too, but it just slips out, like word vomit.
OBANAI IGURO
~Is extremely controlling, jealous, and manipulative + it’s all intentional
This man right here, knows you better than anybody else, he KNOWS how to get into your head and make you rethink everything. “You’re crazy, I never said that!” Or something along those lines. He always twists things into thinking you did something wrong instead of him.
~He twists your words often
Despite Obanai’s tough demeanor, he actually takes everything bad you say about him to heart. He often uses it against you or make it sound worse than it already is.
SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA
~Extremely possessive
Unlike Obanai, this man knows you can’t and won’t find somebody better than him. However, he still likes to claim his territory? I guess you can say. Whenever you’re out and about with friends, he’s calling you like something happened, and when you rush over to his side, he always repeats “Oh, I just wanted to spend some time with you, baby.”
~He can’t open up
Sanemi is NEVER willing to open up to you, no matter how much you try to persuade him. He pushes you away, and, sometimes, yells at you for trying to persuade him. He doesn’t mean it, I think, however, he finds it offensive that he needs to open up.
a/n; UGH. I didn’t do Muichiro + Gyomei because this an an 18+ reader and I dunno how to write for Gyomei..so. Yh! Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
@varya-jc — DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPOST, OR CLAIM MY CONTENT AS YOUR OWN! YOU WILL GET BLOCKED AND REPORTED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
#giyu tomioka#kny giyuu#tomioka x reader#tomioka x you#shinobu kocho#kny shinobu#shinobu x reader#Shinobu x you#kyojuro x reader#kny kyojuro#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku x you#uzui tengen#kny tengen#tengen x reader#tengen x you#mitsuri kanroji#kny mitsuri#mitsuri x reader#mitsuri x you#iguro obanai#kny obanai#obanai x reader#obanai x you#sanemi shinaguzawa#kny sanemi#sanemi x reader#sanemi x you#kny#kimetsu no yaiba
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summary: you never check your phone, so when the team is live and you forget once again, the secret is out.
paige bueckers x reader
forgetfulness is better forgotten
(664)
it was a basic friday night, usual to the ones you had been having all year. your girlfriend, paige, had practice earlier so she was unable to hang out with you tonight. you had decided to go out with some friends from your psych class, knowing that by the time you got home paige would be too.
you guys went to some bar, ordered a few drinks and hung out for a few hours. you were, and always had been, one of those people who forgets to check their phone. this habit has posed a few problems for you, you never know where to be, when to be there, or who is even there, but the worst situation you had ever found was the one that took place later that night.
❛ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━・❪ ❁ ❫ ・━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ❜
walking down the hall to your shared apartment with your girlfriend, you hear fimiliar voices coming from inside, the basketball team. you smile as you unlock the door, seeing them all and greeting them, you had yet to realize the fact that your girlfriend and one of her fellow teammates was missing.
you had been talking to nika for almost twenty minutes before you decided to go into your bedroom, what you had failed to notice was the text from your girlfriend saying she was live and ice's reminder before you walked in.
you saw KK and paige sitting by the desk, happy to see your girlfriend you walk over wrapping your arms around her waist kissing her forehead before looking up at her phone, quickly realizing what you had done.
you had just kissed your girlfriend on live.
You had just kissed your girlfriend who was not out to the internet, on live.
instantly you back up, and kk picks the phone up making up some lame excuse of a topic change. you bring yourself to look at paige, seeing a smile on her face. "why are you smiling? i feel so bad, i just messed up your plan." you talked quietly, number one to not be picked up by the mic and number two because you had just felt bad.
"baby its okay, it was just some silly idea, people knowing about us does not change the fact that i am with you." you nod at her words, looking to KK as you hear another "girl boo" come from the corner of the room. you nod, walking over to sit next to her and chat, choosing not to look at the flood of comments not only asking who you were but what you and paige were.
you and kk were on the topic of whether or not we think we could fit our whole head into our shoes if they were combined, you turn around when you hear your girlfriend, "kk, be so serious, we all know those ears aren't fitting in a shoe let alone your head." you laugh, giggling at a few funny comments that go by adding onto paige's joke.
its eventually brought up again that when you walked in you had kissed paige, and you're quick to lie. "y'all, i am drunk, trust me, me and paige would never date, but keep them edits rolling if you know what i mean," you mubble the last bit, laughing to yourself as you turn and see paige's cheeks a little pink.
a little after you guys end the live, you walk out to the team, and laughter fills the room.. "you guys would never date?" aubrey questions your lie, trying to hold back her laugh. you roll your eyes, "i didn't know they were live! i forgot to check my phone!" the whole team groans at this, all of them having dealt with the consequences of you and your forgetfulness.
"y/n if you don't start checking your phone more often im going to chuck it at your head." paige mutters, her hand around your waist as she rolls her eyes at your behavior.
guys i might be losing it. anyway, double upload who am i? this is so cheeks im sorry 😭 -kate
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don't kill me mr. ghostface! - t. kuroo
kuroo tetsuro x afab! reader: DEGRADATION, name calling, teasing, choking, and mask kink, timeskip!kuroo ofc, 2.9k words (guys i’m new to this so please let me know if i’m missing anything) WEEK ONE KINKTOBER!!
summary: seeing the ghost face trend suddenly pop up has you buying the mask so your boyfriend can wear it (aka ghost face kuroo was what i desperately needed)
!!MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! DO NOT INTERACT!!
Scrolling through social media, seeing girls make their boyfriends put on the ghost face mask during sex. At first you saw it as odd, it wasn’t till you started imagining your boyfriend, Kuroo wearing the mask. Imagining how scrumptious his form would look on with the mask. You couldn’t help but think if Kuroo would even be open to the idea? You weren’t really one to initiate any new sexual endeavors in the bedroom. Kuroo would take all the initiative in the bedroom with your feedback, of course. However, maybe this was just the thing you needed to be more confident in taking initiative. Even if Kuroo didn’t think the idea was hot, you knew he wouldn’t be completely rude in rejecting you. Thinking he’ll just say a quick no and drop the idea. Realizing you had nothing to lose you decide to just go for it. The worst he could say was no and if he did you’ll just keep the receipt for later.
Heading to your nearest Halloween store to look for the specific mask, lighting up when you find it tucked away. Going up to the cash register trying to hide the mask for confidentiality. “Oh, you’re the third girl today who came in here purchasing this mask?”, your palms start sweating as the older lady questions you. “What is it about this mask, it’s a pretty old movie? I guess it’s still pretty popular, huh?”, nodding to her question just trying to get the hell out of the store. “Well, here you go, have a nice night!”, snatching the bag as your face is completely flushed. If everything goes well, you’ll have more than just a nice night. As you get home, you notice Kuroo’s car parked outside. Hiding the bag behind your back as you make your way to the front door, sighing deeply as you unlock the door.
Opening the door to find Kuroo coming down the stairs, elated to see you. “Hey kitten, welcome home! I was wondering where you were? I didn’t have my baby here to give me my welcome kiss.” Kuroo pouts, opening his arms to you. He notices how closed off you are as you make your way to him, giving him a quick peck. “Sorry Tetsu, I went to the store to…pick up something really quick.”, Kuroo raises his brow at you. Aware of his heavy gaze, you start backing up into the stair railing still hiding the bag. Kuroo laughs at your sudden strange behavior, taking a seat on the couch, “Ok whatever you say, sweetheart. What do you want to do for dinner?”. Kuroo looks back at you, seeing you physically in the room but mentally somewhere else. “Kitten? Are you okay?”, Back turned to Kuroo as you feel the cloth of the mask, doubting whether you should ask him now. “Baby?”, Kuroo speaks louder than last time, finally catching your attention. As you turn around he takes in your embarrassed expression, shaky hands, bitten lips, and avoiding eye contact.
Kuroo knew you had a habit of biting your lips when you were scared to ask for something, he suddenly pats the couch. “Come here baby, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”, hesitantly making your way to Kuroo. You knew he would never judge you but what you’re asking for isn’t really normal. Deciding to throw all your insecure thoughts away, you straddle Kuroo’s lap. Taken by surprise you see him grin, feeling him start to place featherlight kisses on your neck, “What’s up kitten, you can tell me.” All of your thoughts slipped from your mind as you focused on Kuroo’s kisses and how ticklish they felt. “Well Tetsu, I actually wanted to ask you something.”, you feel yourself squirm against him as he nips your neck. He laughs against you, continuing to suck on your neck, “I saw this thing on Tiktok and these girls would,”, you pause, tripping over your words. Biting your lip, feeling an insatiable urge that only Kuroo could fill. “What would these girls do baby, huh? Use your words for me, kitten.” Kuroo lifts his gaze off your neck onto meeting your eyes.
“They would ask their boyfriends to put on a mask and then chase them around.”, you cut yourself off. Hesitant to finish the sentence vulgarly but deciding to push yourself. Kuroo grabs your chin with his hand forcing you to look into his eyes while lifting his eyebrows, “You want me to chase you kitten? Well what’s my prize when I catch you, huh?”. Resisting the urge to look away, you give him what he wants, “When you catch me...”. Leaning down to whisper in his ear, “I want you to fuck me with the mask on Tetsu.”. Kuroo lets out a breathy groan, “Who would’ve guessed my sweet girl had such a fucking filthy mouth.”. He pauses taking your lustful appearance in. “Well-” he pulls you in by your chin, centimeters away from your lips. “What my baby wants, she gets. Give me the mask, kitten.”
As you hand Kuroo the mask you bought earlier he snickers to himself, “Ghost face does it for you baby?”. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you in as your tongues meet in a harmonious symphony, he pulls away breathlessly. “Turn off the lights upstairs and hide for me, baby. You know I love a good challenge.” He turned off the lights downstairs and you felt a sneaking feeling behind you but not daring to look back, it wasn’t till you turned off the upstairs light that you suddenly felt your stomach drop. Shit, you couldn’t see anything, only hearing Kuroo’s footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, quietly. You’ve never heard Kuroo be so quiet before, it was making you shake with excitement that he’s playing the part so well. Hiding in your shared closet making sure to close the door very quietly, hearing footsteps creeping across the hall. Placing your hand across your face to stop from suddenly laughing, realizing how silly this all was. Your loving boyfriend, who couldn’t hurt a fly, was playing psycho killer because you asked him to.
Kuroo creeps into your room, truth be told he could hear you in the closet giggling but wanted to up the antics. He slams the door to your bedroom knowing you would jump in anticipation, taking a couple of seconds to open the closet door. “Naughty girl, I said I wanted a challenge.”, opening your mouth to refute his opinion. Kuroo grabs you roughly, picking you up from the floor, turning you around to push you onto the bed. Slowly taking off his shirt, keeping the mask on to give you a show. You keep eye contact with him as he starts undressing, you start following his lead but Kuroo stops you. Leaning down really close to your ear, “I never said you could start stripping, did I kitten?”. You freeze, suddenly feeling very frustrated by how much clothes you have on. “Don’t make me punish you because your urges are making you stupid baby. We wouldn’t want that now, would we kitten?” You reach out wanting to feel him, kiss him, do something, anything but Kuroo once again stops you, binding your hands with one of his.
“I guess my baby needs to learn some manners, first denying me of a challenge and now not listening. Already acting dumb and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” Kuroo grabs his shirt, tying your hands together. “Now if you don’t mind baby,” he lifts off the mask showing his flushed face and messy hair, “I’m here to claim my prize.”. He starts leaning into your neck, kissing the now lingering red marks. He hears your breathing pick up as he starts searching for that spot on your neck that you love, oh so much. Kuroo hears his name fall from your lips sensually, sucking on the spot harder. “Tetsu, please baby. I’ll be good, I’ll do anything for it.”, you look down at him with the sweetest eyes you could muster. Kuroo lifts up your shirt only to be met with your perked up nipples. Groaning, feeling himself get harder at the sight of you tied up and begging for him, what a good girl. He latches his mouth onto your nipple, hearing your breathing shutter. “Stop teasing Tetsu.”, Kuroo stops pulling away, taking in the sight of you. “You never listen, do you baby?”
Kuroo starts littering kisses down from your neck all the way down to your stomach, stopping at the spot where you need him the most. Slipping off your bottoms but leaving your panties on. “You’re such a naughty kitten, squirming, aching, and begging for me to do anything. Well, the more you beg, the less I want to give it to you.”, he places a soft kiss to your clothed cunt before getting back up on his knees, flipping your body over onto your stomach. “Since you like to use your mouth so much, you won’t mind counting for me baby.”, he places your stomach on his knee. Curiously looking back, just to feel a hard smack on your ass, moaning. Kuroo looks at you, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks together, condescendingly. “Cat got your tongue baby? I said to fucking count.”, he continues smacking until he sees his handprint imprinted on your ass. Chuckling lowly as he sees you look back, pupils blown out and mind a muck. He yanks you up to gently kiss your red cheek, giving it one more smack. Turning you around, as he pulls you into a heated kiss, lips clashing together while your tongues battle in your mouth for dominance.
Pulling back you look to see a string of saliva connected between you and Kuroo, lustfully staring at him. “Kitten, you look so fucking hot right now. Do you think you’re ready for me baby?”, you nod desperately willing to take anything Kuroo was willing to give to you. Kuroo looks down on you, noticing how cute you look breathlessly begging, he runs a finger over your clothed slit. “See, the thing is kitten. I don't think you want it bad enough.”, Kuroo see’s your eyes widen, chuckling at how desperate you look while nefariously putting on a faux pout. “No please Tetsu, I really want it. Please, I want your cock so bad, It’s all I can think about.”, Kuroo mockingly puts a finger on his chin, thinking to himself. “I think you have to prove to me how badly you want it kitten. I think you’ll prove it by taking my cock in this bratty mouth of yours, yes?”. You nod eagerly wanting any part of Kuroo in you, dragging you towards him helping you get on all fours. “Ok baby, tap on my thigh if it gets too much for you.”, you look up at Kuroo as he strokes himself feeling so overcome with your urges, feeling nothing but want. “Tell me yes baby.”, you verbalize it for him. Kuroo smiles, putting his finger on your lips, watching you take in his finger so sinfully, “Such a dirty girl, baby. Have you been hiding from me that you’re secretly a slut?”.
Sucking on Kuroo’s finger feeling yourself becoming wetter by the minute, pulling back from Kuroo. “Tetsu please I need your cock badly, I want it so much, I want to please you.”. Kuroo groans, throwing his head back, “Even though you’re such a brat giving me all these demands, I’ll give you what you want baby.”. He pushes the tip past your lips, watching you lose yourself on the way his cock lays on your tongue. “Baby, you take me so well. You want me to fuck you that badly that you’re willing to choke on my cock.”, Kuroo feels you moan around his cock. Moaning as you gag on his thick length, looking up at him to see him biting his lip. “Princess, your mouth is heavenly. I might finish too quickly, shit.”, he grabs your hair making it into a makeshift ponytail. Yanking you slowly up and down, feeling you take it just like his good girl should. He slowly picks up your head off his cock, feeling empty of him but not wanting to pester him any further.
Kuroo grabs the headboard behind you picking up the mask he threw behind you. You feel yourself pause, eye-fucking the man in front of you. “I love you so much Tetsu, give me everything please.”. Kuroo kisses your cheek, coming in close. Whispering very lowly in your ear, “I love you too, kitten but I’m about to fucking ruin you.”. He smirks as he puts on the mask, committing to the character. Ripping your panties off, “Kuroo! Really! You’re going to buy me a new pair.”. Instead of commenting back he stops, saying nothing as you feel on edge waiting for him to do something. He pulls away, wrapping his hand around your neck and your breath gets taken away. Feeling aroused by a boundary you’ve never crossed before with Kuroo.
You try to see Kuroo’s eyes through the cloth but fail, nodding your head. Kuroo grinds the tip of his cock through your folds feeling how wet you are. Moaning at the instant sensation of his hard cock, feeling waves but falling short of feeling the real thing. He leans down by your ear, “You really do never learn baby, first I shut you up with my cock and it still wasn’t enough.”. Breathing heavily and eyes fluttering shut, “Too bad I have to choke you just to get you to stop talking back like the little whore you are, huh?”. Your eyes flutter shut, overwhelmed by his voice in your ear and his hard cock easing against you. Kuroo slips the tip in slowly teasing his cock in you halfway, feeling your breath rise against his hand. “Yes, yes please Tetsu!”
Smirking under the mask, while groaning as he feels you clench against him. Giving you the feeling only to pull out, leaving you feeling empty. Biting your lip because you so badly want to respond to him teasing you but know it’ll only worsen the problem. You put your tied hands up to your face, embarrassed as you feel yourself only getting more aroused. Squeezing your eyes shut only to feel liquid trickling down your cheeks. “No way kitten, show me your face. I want to see your expression as I fuck you.”, Kuroo pulls your hands away seeing you cry in desperation. “Fuck Kitten, I was going to prolong the teasing but seeing you cry over my cock, I need you now.”
Leaning back and grabbing your feet to place them on his shoulders ready to give you what you’ve so desperately been craving. Sliding in as Kuroo bites his lip, only for a small groan to escape. Whimpering as you feel Kuroo slowly slipping in as you clamp down on him. “Fuck Kuroo, so fucking hot with that mask on.”, grazing his chest with your tied hands. Bottoming out feeling his skin smack against yours, moaning at his cock filling up every crevice of your insides. “Tetsu, right there!”, Kuroo pulls back out and goes in steadily. Hitting your cervix, again and again, eyes rolling back erotically. Pleasure coursing through your stomach, brain feeling fuzzy, and lost in your own pleasure that you don’t even hear Kuroo. “Kuroo! Fuck baby! So good! So good Tetsu!”
The coil in your stomach tightening, Kuroo repeatedly pushes in and out only to stop as you’re right at the edge. Still staying inside you as he starts circling around your clit. Your back arches off the bed, he pushes down on your lower stomach starting to rapidly rub your clit. “Argh! Tetsu! Baby! My brain feels fuzzy! Fuck! Oh my god!”, you feel your brain go completely blank. Stuffed, fucked, and overstimulated beyond your belief, only seeing an outline of Kuroo’s body. Reaching up to touch all around Kuroo, wanting so badly to kiss him as you teeter on the edge of cumming. Kuroo leans down, panting quietly, he knows you're close due to your expression and your tight cunt. Growling, “Cum Kitten, cum all over my cock like the good girl you are.”
Vision goes hazy and white, as the coil in your stomach snaps and you feel cum falling out where you and Kuroo are connected. Euphoria hitting you as you come down from your high that was cumming on Kuroo’s cock. Opening your eyes to see Kuroo above you with the mask still on. He unties your hands, you rub them a bit before taking the mask off him. Seeing Kuroo’s lip bleeding a bit from how hard he was trying to hold back his moans. Also thinking how hot he looked with deflated sweaty hair, bitten lips, and post haze orgasm. Bringing him to your lips, tasting just a hint of copper but not caring. “Don’t hold back your moans next time Tetsu.”, Kuroo’s eyebrows raise. “There’s going to be a next time, huh?”, going to get a towel to clean you up. Smirking, “What about next time I ride you while you wear the mask?”
divider credits go to @/anitalenia, @/kaitsawamura, @/aquazero and @/thecutestgrotto
shot of espresso ☕️ : this is my first time posting and writing smut lmk what you think!
@espr3ss0mart1ni on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.
#hq smut#haikyu smut#haikyuu smut#anime smut#anime x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro#kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo smut#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsuro smut#kuroo tetsurou smut#kuroo x reader smut#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x reader#espresso essay ☕️
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Web of love
─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)
─Summary: you just keep adding lunatics to the list like they're pokemon and you lose patience
─Warnings: mahito (he's a warning himself yeh) blood, death, a little anxiety attack, toxic behaviors, obsession, yandere stuff
Part One / Part Three / Part Four
The blank pages: Part One / Par Two
I'm done downloading my inspiration on this for now, I feel like this is a little longer, sorryyy 😶
YOU WERE too quick to accept that these sorcerers would do whatever they wanted with you, but in a way, starting a verbal fight to refuse to do certain quests would cause you more problems than solutions, so you were just like a body empty of soul moving back and forth, simply waiting for the next order to complete it as quickly as possible.
The worst thing of all was that it wasn't annoying, at least, not the fact of taking orders, you liked it, you didn't have to think too much, just do this and that, you definitely started to think that all those tests of 'are you a leader or a follower' made sense all those times that your result was being a follower, you wanted an easy life and being a leader of anything is a complete stress that you were not going to go through.
So your simplistic and conformist personality only made it easier for all those sorcerers to mold you to their liking, this does not mean that whenever they asked to spend time with you or simply be attached to you you accepted, they would always have a negative response at first, however if they continued insisting, as may be the case with Itadori and Nobara, you would agree to do what they wanted, because accepting is easier than declining. Megumi and Gojo weren't as persistent in asking for small favors or bonding time, which you appreciated.
"I was looking for you, Maki and I are going to go downtown to look for some cursed weapons, do you want to come?"
Nobara, getting into the bad habit of not knocking on your door and entering without permission, throw herself at your bed grabbing your hand to beg you to go out with her and Maki, knowing that you would refuse she started whining about how you hadn't left your room lately and that she had been very busy with the missions. With no other option you accepted, hoping to be able to get back to what you were doing later in the night.
You thanked the heavens that Maki Zenin was skeptical about your stay at the Jujutsu school, since you did not show any interest in developing cursed techniques or improving physical abilities, she thought that you were not important enough, a shame that Nobara had to drag you with her long enough for Maki to end up getting attached to you, you barely talked to her but for some reason she ended up liking you.
"Come on, we don't have all afternoon."
Maki began to walk waiting for you both to follow her steps, a couple of minutes later the two of them began a light idle chat while you followed behind, only with one of your headphones on in case they spoke to you at some point.
"Be careful, you should stop looking at your phone and look at your surroundings, you are so careless."
The girl with glasses grabbed the back of the collar of your uniform to stop you just before you crossed a red zebra crossing for pedestrians, you watched for a moment as the cars sped by just a few centimeters from you with blank eyes.
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
You shrugged, putting away your phone like a scolded child, Nobara took the liberty of grabbing your hand to guide you the rest of the way, at least you could walk looking absent-mindedly at anything that caught your attention without worrying about tripping.
Disinterested and bored once they started negotiating about the cursed weapons, you decided that you could go out for a few minutes without anyone noticing to the bakery you had seen around the corner, you felt like something sweet, you were going to buy something sweet and no one will stop you. Unfortunately before you could get out of the alley, because of course, a shop like that wasn't going to be visible to everyone, once again a curse clung to you desperately to be forgiven.
"Not now please."
You took a couple of minutes to release the cursed energy of that curse, feeling your eyelids heavier and your body more relaxed, of course your ability had cons, after all what you were doing was consuming cursed energy, your way of releasing it were resting, which led you to sometimes fall asleep even standing up due to exhaustion.
Your slight drowsiness disappeared when you heard the sewer besides you sliding with a squeak, a strange mass began to come out until it formed a guy who looked like a sewn doll, his bicolor eyes looked into your soul.
"That was very interesting, where is that curse? Did you absorb it? Did you kill it?"
Your parents had taught you that you shouldn't talk to strangers, especially if they seemed like lunatics who could deform and come out of random sewers, and like a good mom and dad's girl, you looked away, backing away to exit through the other side of the alley, but he managed to grab your wrist so you wouldn't run away.
"It's rude to ignore someone when they speak, you know?"
You frowned looking at his hand on you, remaining silent, you let out an inaudible sigh, you always had to end up in this type of situation, tangled with people ─in this case curses─ that trapped you without wanting to let go.
"I sent it to rot in hell, its soul will remain suffering until eternity, remembering and regretting all the evils it has caused, it will be subjected to the worst tortures imaginable."
He remained silent before bursting into laughter, you had said all that so seriously, with that grim face that he almost believed it, you hoped that trying to 'scare' him would work, but this curse had at least a couple more neurons than the ones you used to meet.
"Aren't you funny? It's a shame I have to kill you, I thought we could be friends but you're-"
The ground began to shake, almost losing your balance, you took advantage of the sudden distraction to free yourself from Mahito's grip, approaching the nearest wall so as not to fall due to the tremors, the sewer flew away and you could see how the curse paled, transforming again to escape.
"How many hours have I lost in this chase?"
A new voice came out of nowhere, turning around you saw a blonde man with glasses, he was wearing a uniform and had a blood stained weapon in one of his hands, you looked at each other in silence until he spoke again.
"A student… hey, have you seen that curse? Where did he flee?"
Figuring he was trustworthy enough since he seemed to recognize the Jujutsu high, you silently pointed in the direction Mahito left, earning a nod from him to leave you there alone again. As if that weren't enough, before you could leave the alley to get some sweet, you ran into another curse, this one looked like a volcano with only one eye, it was petting a stray cat while muttering things like 'you're a good boy' in a squeaky voice, you were going to turn around to make this less awkward but your bones had to make that weird sound sometimes when you walk.
His one eye widened at the sight of you, a small rash erupting from his head and he shot up at the speed of light.
"I'll pretend I haven't seen anything if you pretend you haven't seen me."
You decided to reach a mutual agreement because you heard Nobara shout your name, surely they had finished their purchase or had been alerted by the noise earlier, and if they found you now they would surely distract you enough that you wouldn't be able to buy your candy. You took enough time to complete your little mission, as just as you left the bakery you were approached by the red-haired girl who hugged you like a whimpering koala.
"You can't disappear like that out of nowhere! We heard a shaking and thought something bad had happened to you."
She rubbed her cheek against your shoulder, you murmured apologies while still savoring your sweet, Maki remained silent watching the interaction, carefully searching for any kind of scratch or wound on your body, she sighed in relief when she saw that you didn't seem to have anything.
"We have already spent a lot of time here, we should go back, Toge and Panda are waiting for us for our training."
The encounter with these two curses, Mahito and Jogo, was only a small trigger that led you to strangely meet them more times later, you were never close of course, but your eyes always seemed to meet the multicolored or the single eye of those guys in some bustling part of the city, you knew they had some plan with Itadori, but it's not like you could do anything, you just alerted Gojo and he thanked you with a few pats on the head for the information.
On the other hand, you became a recurring conversation on the side of the villains, for one reason or another, everyone got to know you, either because Mahito was talking about you or because you had an encounter with Geto or Choso, not knowing them, you felt strange when you exchanged glances with them because you felt the same as when you first met the trio of sorceres, they already knew you before you knew anything about them.
Their curiosity about you was only based on overprotectiveness and how obsessed the sorcerers were with you, you seemed to be an important person, was it because of your power? Was it because of your cursed technique? It was something they wanted to find out and anyway if it was nothing like that, they could always use you as a wild card to blackmail them.
You decided to ignore their presence while you worked on your assignments, assignments in which you got to know that blonde guy, Nanami, he was assigned with you for a couple of missions and at first he felt quite irritated by your carefree behavior and even annoyed by your lack of interest in the work, but he couldn't blame you, in his eyes, like Itadori, you were just a teenager who shouldn't be doing this kind of work. He proposed to himself that no student was going to die under his care, especially someone who was never in favor of being part of the cursed world.
You just kept adding people who were worried or interested in you to the list, and you thought that there was no one else who could feel that way, that you could finally breathe easy, that you could stop moving through that web that kept you captive, that you could snuggling in your sheets protecting yourself from the cold while you hugged a pillow and slept carefree.
And… out of nowhere you wake up with a wet cheek, an eternal sea of blood where you could float, in the distance a temple made up of different animal and human bones. Your eyes became slightly watery, your only moment of rest ruined by whatever was happening, you were upset, furious, maybe it was the first time since you left home you felt an emotion this strong and vivid.
"This has to be a fucking joke…"
You mumble walking towards the temple hoping to find some kind of answer to get out of there, you wanted your hours of sleep back, you wanted to disconnect your brain from reality and travel to your dreams seeking solace outside of this world, not to be trapped in this stupid place.
"This is unusual, how did you manage to get here, brat?"
You rubbed your face furiously, of course you had heard about Sukuna, how Itadori swallowed a fucking finger, but luckily you didn't have any encounter with the king of curses, until now. Again it seemed like he already knew you, but how could he not? You occupied more than half of Itadori's thoughts.
"That's what I would like to know, is this your domain? Get me out of here."
"I can't."
You couldn't contain the irritated grimace you made, this time your expressionlessness broke as well as your patience, a small twitch appeared in your eye and you began to breathe harder, you rubbed your head too hard, perhaps tearing out a few strands in the process, but you didn't care, you exploded after putting up with so much shit.
"Tell me it's a joke, you're the king of curses, not the king of comedians, get me out of here."
Your tone of voice stopped being monotonous, now radiating annoyance and demand that made Sukuna smile at your outburst, he had always heard Itadori complain about how unexpressive you were with them and now you are exploiting a lot of negative emotions.
"Well, I can do that, but for that I would have to kill you."
"Do it." you didn't take a second or hesitate to respond, almost surprising the man, who watched you in silence as you approached him, your frown more with every step you took "What the hell are you waiting for? Do it, kill me."
Sukuna had seen many people begging him, begging for lives, begging to end suffering, it wasn't even the first time they had begged him for a death, but this felt… strange, he had never seen someone so young desperate to die, he had never seen someone have the anxiety attack you were experiencing right now, and strangely he had never felt the kind of energy you gave off, it was somewhat reassuring. He began to understand all the macabre thoughts about you in Itadori's thoughts, all that overprotection and worry, or perhaps, he had gone crazy, becoming infected because of the human in which he was locked up.
"Mmmh, I can do it, but you will only wake up, if you have managed to get here without trying, you will surely come back when you try to sleep again, but it is only a theory, since you have never been here before."
"In that case I'll think of something, but let me wake up."
"Ok"
He shrugged with disinterest, you didn't even feel how his fist lodged in your abdomen, your body staggered towards his, while he held you with one of his arms, the other pulled out your heart that continued pumping blood, you looked in disgust as he seemed to enjoy watching the blood splash across his face.
"Son of a bitch with a fetish for dishearten people…"
It was the only thing you said before your body faded away, immediately waking up in your bed with labored breathing, you placed your hands on your heart, checking that it was still in place, beating rapidly from the agitation. That specific night you couldn't sleep, because by doing so you returned to Sukuna's domain, or to Itadori's mind, the problem was rooted in the fact that that specific day Itadori was much more worried about you than usual, generating a certain connection that interfered with his and your dreams, the middle ground being Sukuna's domain.
Now you couldn't even go to sleep thinking about having a good dream, because depending on the night you would end up stuck with the king of curses, another person added to the list, would this be some kind of divine punishment? You just want to run to your parents and hug them with all your might, for them to tell you that everything will be okay and that you are a good daughter, for the moment you will settle for hugging your cold pillow in search of comfort while three pairs of eyes watch as your emotions slowly deteriorates.
They would make sure to be the arms that keep you warm, to be the people you turn to in these types of situations, you shouldn't be sad, you are much better off here, more protected and safe.
"Good night darling, have sweet dreams."
Gojo, having shooed the other three students away from you, entered your room, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks, he stroked your hair for a few seconds before brushing away a few strands and kissing your forehead. He hadn't had the chance to prove that he was capable of being a good father in Megumi's eyes, but he could be to you, it's a shame that you still cling to your parents as role models when he was there, he would be a better father figure, just wait.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x fem reader#yandere platonic jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x platonic reader#sfw#x reader#fem reader#reader insert#yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x fem reader#platonic yandere x reader#gojo satoru#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#megumi fushiguro#sukuna ryomen#nanami kento#maki zenin#web of love#web of love jjk
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With your previous SamSeb post of them being the coolest uncles ever i was wondering
Did Maru and Sebastian have a redemption arc? As I mean they have a better sibling ship as they got older? How would you see that progression? 👀
Thank you sm for these questions, you gave me an excuse to talk about this 🖤 it's a topic near and dear to my heart because I too grew up in a funky family situation so sibling relationships are my roman empire.
yap session below
My idea is that Sebastian's initial sentiments towards Maru were mainly born out of teenage angst which was truthfully more directed at their parents — in his eyes, she was merely a result of the relationship he resented so much. As people grow up, they often lose some of that pent-up anger, creating relationships that allow them to feel less insecure and misunderstood, and in turn, more open to understanding others too. I think this would be the case for Seb. He would start seeing Maru more clearly, finally recognizing who she is, rather than what she represented to him up until that point (she, like him, had no role in the family dynamic except being born into it). He would discover that he actually likes her a lot. Maru, on the other hand, probably always looked up to him but could never approach him first because Seb can be very intimidating. I picture her telling herself, "Maru, be cool!! How would Sebastian act??" because he would engage in all sorts of behaviors that she, being a "good girl," could never imagine partaking in (talking back to people??? Oh lord). I reckon she would also be often concerned for him and his habits — to be honest, she would probably be a better sibling to Seb than he ever was to her. Upon maturing and realizing this, Sebastian would definitely promise himself to make up for it and start acting like an actual older brother, the instinct to protect the younger person taking over.
A while back I posted what could be one of their first sincere attempts at an hangout x !!
While Maru already had great support from Demetrius, I imagine she would really flourish from this new dynamic, and she would grow into her feisty personality, finally realizing she does not need to be the good girl at all times but also that she can set her own example. As they get older their relationship would become more and more sincere, Maru would stop holding back and Seb would gladly accept the love that she's been trying to give him, and they both would heal and learn a lot from it. They would finally become a great support system for one another, I can't imagine a story where they don't end up getting along and doing good as a family 🥹 I need Sebastian to be obsessed with Maru's kid and spoil her rotten with all sorts of gaming equipment !!
Side tangent: I feel the need to say that I don't think either Robin or Demetrius are bad people, they are flawed individuals that could for sure do better at parenting but are far from the worst family in game. Let's not forget we can see the book "Practical Tips For First-Time Step-Dads" in Demetrius bookcase, the man is trying (which doesn't mean he's necessarily succeeding or that Seb's sentiments are less valid, but you get what I'm saying)
chat can you tell I've been in relational-systemic therapy before LMAOOO
#sdv headcanons#sdv fanart#sdv sebastian#sdv maru#sdv#stardew valley#ask#theasnewgroove#stardew sebastian#stardew maru#sebastian stardew valley#maru stardew valley#older!Sambastian#sdv demetrius#sdv robin#anyone who ships them for any reason stay so fucking away from this post#art#stardew valley fanart
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Hello! Could I request flower bouquet from the miscellaneous menu.. And as for the dynamic, I'm quite indecisive on that regard, but I recall you saying it's fine to let you chose? Forgive me if I'm wrong. I'd like to order that with red velvet cupcakes & banana pudding from the midnight menu for Jade Leech, with an AFAB reader. If you are unable to do this, it is completely understandable. I hope your day/night goes well, and may you take care.
yandere!jade leech x (female) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, non-con, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, kidnapping, slight angst, royalty au (princess!reader x butler!jade) note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]
It’s well past midnight when Jade finds you in the garden. He spots you milling about aimlessly beneath a stone archway. Greenery twists up the rough surface; vines spotted with tiny flowers drape like fruit from a bough. Moonlight paints you in strokes of silvery magnificence, a breathtaking sight even the most skillful painter could never hope to replicate on a canvas. Even though it’s the middle of summer, there’s a fierce bite to tonight’s temperature. It’s in his nature to protect, a bodyguard and a butler in one, which is precisely why he frets when he notices you’re dressed in a thin nightgown and a silk robe.
You’re stunning regardless of your attire. He’s always thought so. A hopeless observation, for you have never belonged to him and thus those words will remain a scandal under lock and key.
“My lady?” He approaches with even steps, his voice a gentle whisper. Despite his best efforts, you still flinch at his sudden arrival. He bows respectfully, a hand held over his heart. “Forgive me for startling you. I noticed you weren’t in bed when I came to check on you, and so I thought I might find you here.”
“Am I really so predictable?”
“Quite.” He chuckles at the pout that twists on your lips. “Admittedly, my advantage is rather unfair. I’ve known you long enough to commit all of your habits and haunts to memory.”
“You’re too good. It’s not fair…”
“Is everything all right?” Jade moves to shrug his tailcoat off, aiming to drape it across your shoulders for extra layering, but you stop him. “My lady?”
“I’m not cold. Thank you, though.”
Jade nods slowly and slides his arms back into the sleeves. “May I ask what’s keeping you up? It’s unlike you to visit the garden so late.”
“It’s nothing major. Just thinking too much about too many things. If that makes any sense…”
He hums in acknowledgement. You fidget on your bare feet. Some days Jade thinks you’d wander to your death if it weren’t for him. Having suspected this, he made sure to bring your shoes. Guiding you to the marble bench at the end of the pathway, where the space opens into a clearing enclosed with shaped shrubbery, Jade lowers to his knees.
“A princess shouldn’t dirty her feet so carelessly,” he reminds you, taking hold of your foot and gingerly sliding your shoe on.
You frown at him. “Does it matter?”
“In polite society, yes, very much so.”
“Polite society is the worst. How am I meant to frolic in the flowers as the fairy tales intended if I can’t even take my shoes off for such a thing?”
“You may do so in your dreams.”
“It’s not the same.”
Jade gazes at your legs from where he kneels. Should his gaze climb any higher… He snuffs that thought before it can take root. “Perhaps not, but the world within a dream is lenient and lawless. You’re free to break every rule you desire.”
He offers you his arm and you take it. Lifting you from the bench, he walks with you and admires lush blossoms alongside you. Sweet is the night breeze, bringing recollections of a childhood that has long since fled. Watching you, future heir to the throne, from afar, an unimportant butler-in-training… You’ve always been his world—the center of his vision. The single flower in a garden infested with weeds.
What he’d do to pick you and put you in a pot of his own making. To keep you solely because it is the whim of a selfish heart caught up in foolish, one-sided limerence.
“What would you do? In your dreams, I mean. If you could experience any dream, what would it be?”
Jade peers at you, taken aback. “You’re asking me?”
“No, I’m asking the flowers.” Playfully, you reach up to pat his head. He leans down to meet your hand halfway, a smile gracing his features. How fervently he wishes you would touch him with more purpose. If only your individual stations were not so far apart. If only he could become your equal just for tonight and know rapture under your fingertips. “Yes, Jade, I’m asking you.”
It’s not a calculated risk, for he knows the outcome will never be in his favor, but he acts on impulse anyway. He seizes your hand. You flinch away, surprised by this forthright display, but he holds firm. He’s determined to see this through to the end, even if it lands him a heart more shattered than when he began.
“I would become a prince and marry you.”
Much to his chagrin, you laugh. “That’s quite the lofty dream. A funny one, too.”
He squeezes your hand, insistent. “That is the truth.”
“It’s not.” You meet his mismatched stare. “It… It’s not, right? Surely you jest.”
“I have always admired you, my lady.” Testing his limits, he brings your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles. “Though you may be forever out of my reach and I may be but a mere servant, that does not stop me from loving you any less.”
Your face falls. There is no reciprocation to be found in your gaze. He suspected this from the beginning, but it does nothing to soothe the sting.
He grasps your other hand, hoping to bestow a kiss to it as well, but you jerk away so quickly that you trip over your feet and land in a heap on the grass. He doesn’t make any move to help you up. Not yet, at least. Lying sprawled on your back, you watch him with uncertain eyes.
“How long?”
“The day your father rescued me and brought me in—you offered your hand to me, and you told me I would never know the dangers of the sea again.” Jade stands over you, observing the many emotions flickering on your face, before lowering to your height. He straddles you with ease. “I had never known such kindness until then.”
“Ah, right… I remember that day. You were injured so severely they put you on bedrest. You had to learn how to walk all over again.”
“In spite of everything they told you about me, you visited me regardless. Every day, at every hour, to bring snacks and toys. To cheer me up. To wish for my swift recovery. To act as my crutch. For that, I am forever grateful.” His hands slide your nightgown up, and he feasts on the sight of your panties—on the way you draw your thighs together to hide from him. “I have always stood dutifully by your side, hoping to repay you for all that you’ve done for me.”
You look delicate in the grass, your robe slipping from your shoulders. Like a pinned butterfly or an angel having just fallen from the sky, you’re a sugared fantasy brought to life.
“Jade.” You grab at his shoulders and push back weakly; he doesn’t budge. “We… We shouldn’t. I can’t. If someone were to see—”
“They won’t.”
“Yes, but I—” you turn away from him, worrying your lip between your teeth— “I can’t, Jade… I’m betrothed. F-Furthermore, it’s not safe without…protection. You can’t.”
He smiles fondly, so sickly, stupidly enchanted. With the moon just behind his head, framing it like a hazy halo, you might mistake him for an angel. His actions suggest he’s anything but.
Lifting his index finger to his lips, he shushes you. “In that case, let’s play pretend for tonight—just as we used to—and trap ourselves in a dream.”
Your refusal falls on deaf ears.
Hands crawl along the expanse of your body, feeling everything within reach. He’s overjoyed to behold you, to press down on the space between your legs and savor your staggered breaths. You plead with him all throughout it, begging him to cease now and he’ll be spared. But Jade can’t. If it kills him, he wants to have died knowing he was on cloud nine.
This has always been his dream.
For tonight, he is neither prince nor butler. For tonight, he is simply a monster—the same monster your maids warned you against when you were little: “That cursed child is no good. He will bring ruin to your father—to you, Your Highness. You must keep away, for a child of the sea is a child of destruction and agony.”
The same monster who looked on with a single golden eye, lying in wait like the perfect predator and wearing the skin of a human to hide his true identity. The same monster who took to training as if it were second nature, honing his skills as a butler and a bodyguard. Hardening a heart that has never had the capacity to care for anything other than himself and the ones who have since departed.
The same monster who loves the human he ought to hate, for it is your kind who hunt the waters he was conceived in. Who spear merfolk with harpoons and feast on their flesh and eggs like it’s a sacred delicacy. Who arrange their skeletons in aureate frames. Who mount their taxidermied tails to the wall.
The same monster who, in some distant fairy tale, could have been a king if not for the devastation of his family tree.
Dewy grass sticks to your skin. The scent of moist earth envelops you in its verdant embrace. Jade sinks in slowly, holding you down by your hips. You squirm and cry, but he persists. He could be cruel and callous, rut into you like an animal instead of a lover, but he refrains. He loves you too much, and that hurts more than any pain he could inflict on you.
You dig your nails into his shoulders. If they were sharper, you might have been able to tear through his uniform. Sweet, soft moans spill from pretty, plush lips. He kisses you, adoring the hold your walls have on him when he rolls his hips to fill you deeper.
“Jade… Jade, please,” you ramble, breathing hot and heavy in his ears. It’s musical, the way you sing for him through your tears. “Oh, please pull out. I—aah—can’t… We can’t. Please, Jade.”
Perhaps it would have been easier to hate you and your father—detest the kingdom who has rendered his home an aquatic graveyard. Surrounded in a garden of exotic blooms, Jade thinks that’s impossible. Love born from hate is thorny, impossible to quell once it’s come to fruition. It’s dug its roots into his heart and given way to the most fearsome flower.
He should have killed you. He should have held that pillow over your face all those years ago when he snuck into your bedroom, silent as a shadow. He should have, but he didn’t—couldn’t. And now he’s here, towering over you without the pillow. His hands stray towards your throat, but instead of an execution he drags you against his chest. He can’t.
Years later and he still can’t fulfill his one and only childhood dream.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, his eyes glittering. “How I wish you were as ugly as your heart…”
Raindrops spatter your face, a quiet downpour spilling from heterochromatic hues.
You fall apart beneath him, ruined in ways polite society would deem grossly impure.
Now we’re the same, Jade thinks, bowing his head when he reaches his peak. He groans lowly, his eyes squeezed shut. Monsters without homes.
Come morning, the palace is in a panic. The princess has vanished, seemingly whisked away into the night, and the only one who may have any information on her whereabouts has gone with her. Jade doesn’t worry.
No one will find you at the bottom of the sea, unrecognizable as a mermaid in an abandoned coral kingdom.
On his empty throne, he knows of no better place.
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst x reader#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#yandere jade leech#yandere jade leech x reader#yandere jade x reader#yandere jade#n/sfw#tw: noncon#lunar love hotel 2023
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— get you
featured: college!Eren x afab!reader x college!Levi, Mikasa Ackerman, Sasha Braus, Louise (canon Yeagerist)
cw: modern!au, slight fluff if you really squint, suggestive content, minors dni, toxic dynamics, possessiveness, cursing
synopsis: the life of a college student is already hard enough as it is with classes, homework, and lectures so why not add a complicated love triangle as well?
a/n: this is a repost !! I’ve written this before but decided to go back and re-edit it :) to everyone who’s read this before I hope you all enjoy this improved version!
Eren fucking Yeager.
The college campus’ fuckboy and the literal bane of your existence.
Eren has been the thorn in your side since you were both assigned dorm mates at the beginning of your junior year of college. Sure, you’ve heard of the infamous name he set out for himself as the ruthless ‘Attack Titan’ in your school's football team, and you were fully aware of his cold and narcissistic personality but hey, who were you to judge a book by its reviews, right? So you made the mistake of ever being kind to him when you first introduced yourself only to be met by desolate green eyes and a scoff. Not to mention he had the audacity to give you ‘house rules’ which basically summarized to cleaning the dorm and staying out of his way. No, Eren almost never spared you small talk or even pretended to tolerate your mere existence. Why? Who fucking knows. Honestly, you firmly believed the brunette was born with a vendetta against you — every day striving and scheming to better his tactics in making your life miserable like some ripoff supervillain. But worst of all is the fact he seemed to make a habit of following you around campus like some lost puppy. You’d think someone who supposedly hates you would do anything to keep themselves away, right? Wrong. He thrived off bickering, insulting, and annoying you at any chance he got. Weirdly enough, no matter how many times you prayed someone would approach you to give you reason to ditch him, everyone always seemed to particularly steer clear from you when he was with you. Almost as if they were too afraid to even look your way, let alone talk to you. But I guess that could all be chalked up to Erens possessive behavior; his sinister stare and malicious intent were ever present anytime anyone dared get close to you. Not that you would know though, no, you were far too busy rolling your eyes and thinking of witty comebacks or insults. Unknowingly, making it easier to keep you all to himself.
Silly girl.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The echo of a blunt object clamoring to the floor abruptly stirred you from your peaceful slumber as the sound of it rolling on the hardwood floor rattled through the cramped dorm. Sitting up from your resting position you outwardly groaned as you rubbed the sleep off your eyes, “What the hell?” you sighed. Snatching your phone from its charging port you checked the time, squinting your eyes at the sudden brightness, “5:06 a.m?” Huffing in annoyance your jaw clenched as you glared at the door, already starting bright and early this morning huh you asshole, throwing your legs off the bed you groggily made your way out your bedroom door. Fuming at the fact you were forced to wake up so early after pulling an all-nighter studying last night; which, by the way, was already hard to do with Eren and his friends cluttering around the living room all night.
“What do you think you’re doi—“ your voice came to a complete halt when your eyes landed on an opened package and your recently delivered figurine displaced out of its box and lying on the floor. And to add insult to injury there stood Erens number one psycho of a fan, Louise. Giggling to herself as she kicked what would’ve been your most prized possession away from her. “What.. what are you doing…?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as your eyes remained focused on your figurine. The same figurine you excitedly pre-ordered a year ago. You couldn’t even afford to eat for a month afterward because of how much you spent on it and now there it was being kicked around by some desperate pest? So balling your hands into fists you marched over and shoved Louise aside to see the damage she had caused. But your anger only ignited when you saw your favorite character's weapon broken in half and their stand shattered to pieces. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You seethed as you bent down to sorrowfully try to connect the shattered pieces together. You were tired. So tired of this. Carefully tightening your hold on the broken pieces; you hated how you felt like you could cry from frustration. “Oops~” was all Louise bothered herself to say in response to her crime. Quietly, almost too calmly, you spoke, “… What did you just say?” “I said ‘oops’,” she cheekily replied, “besides, it’s not my fault you leave around boxes for anyone to touch.” Resting her hand on her hip she smirked down at you, “If you really cared so much about your little dolls then you shouldn’t have been so irresponsible~ heh, hope you learned your lesson.”
Standing up from your crouched position, you side-eyed Louise with a piercing, almost eerily, hyper-focused glare. This is it, you thought before clenching your fists and raising your arm, intent on actually beating her until your knuckles ached. But before you could swing, you felt a cautious grip on your wrist and a firm hold on your hip. Everything moved so fast, you didn’t even get to acknowledge the fingertips that slid up to the hem of your latex shorts before you found yourself spun and placed behind Eren. Staring up at him you blinked a few times. “Don’t get so heated.” He spat, with a disinterest in his tone almost mocking your apprehensive reaction, “She’s my guest.” He cocked his head at you with a sarcastic smile, and god did your eye twitch. It made your stomach churn and skin crawl knowing what he meant by that, and it… hurt. Shaking your thoughts, you swat his hands off of you, and scowled at the man towering over you, daring to defend the rat responsible for all of this. Dryly you scoffed, “She’s just another fuck-buddy you bring in here ren.” Crossing your arms together you continued your jeering, “You make a mess wherever you go and you even have the audacity to drag in trash? Tch. Please.” But, oh how naive you are to not notice. The glint of amusement reflecting off Erens emerald eyes just from the venom in your tone; it makes his dick twitch. He shifts a little uncomfortably trying to ease himself before exasperatedly sighing. “Well dove,” he begins as he starts to circle around you, “maybe if you weren’t such a self-righteous prude I wouldn’t have to bring girls in here…” stopping right in front of you he leaned down to reach eye-level, his taunting gaze only inches away from you as he lowly growled out, “I could just fuck you instead.”
Truth be told, Eren knew he was full of it — straight up lying through his teeth every time he told you he didn’t want you. In reality, the man was absolutely obsessed with you and anyone with eyes could see it, everyone except you. But unfortunately, Eren isn’t the type to admit his feelings so freely, let alone submit to his emotions. No, he was too prideful for that. Don’t be too harsh on him though, I mean, the idiot hasn’t even figured out himself what it is he feels for you. It could be part of the reason why he’s so particularly hostile with you, and why he’s equally possessive. Not to mention that Eren has been the object of many’s affection since he could remember; as in he’s never not had what he did or didn’t want. He learned early on that personality and sincerity isn’t anything more than currency in this world, and he abides by that principle. So to have someone like you, who’s breathtakingly mesmerizing, compassionate, intelligent, interesting, funny, and well, you, is completely left field for this playboy. You’re everything he thought wasn’t possible. You contradict his entire worldview of people. How could he not resent you — or fall for you all the same? He hates it.
However, as of now, all you know is that you’re fed up with this situation. Pushing past them to grab your keys and hoodie, you turned around and stormed through the front door. Did you know where you were going? Not a clue. But you sure as hell aren’t going to be anywhere near here. Anywhere near him. Walking out the door you heard Louise’s cackling laugh practically grating your ears and it only made your blood simmer further as you slammed the door behind you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“I’ve told you to speak to the Dean and ask for another dorm mate,” sighing as she stirred her coffee with a spoon, her dark eyes flickered up at you, “I’m sure if you explain your situation to him he’ll be more likely to accept your proposal.” Anxiously combing your hair back, you groaned at your best friend's advice, “Mikasa don’t you think I’ve already tried that?” Dramatically throwing your arms on the diner's table, you buried your face in your arms, “The Dean only has a strict appointment-based schedule,” with a pout you lift your head up slightly, “and the waiting list spans for the next four months!” Tucking your head back to sulk, Mikasa hummed in acknowledgment, but that’s when your other friend spoke up. “Then why don’t you try talking to his assistant?” Snapping your head up, you stare questioningly at Sasha as she shoved another beignet in her mouth, “Yeah but —mmph — what’s his name again?” “Levi.” Mikasa chimed in, “Levi Ackerman.” Levi Ackerman..?, you thought, Why does that name sound so familiar? But you didn’t get long to think about it before Sasha excitedly shouted out, “Yes—! Levi!” Putting her fork down she rubbed her chin in contemplation, “Huh, I heard he’s kind of a total jerk though, and everyone who’s ever met up with him spirals into some sort of existential crisis…” Mikasa kicked Sasha from under the table as she nodded in your direction, “O-oh! But um.. I mean how bad could he be, right?” Trying to nervously wave off what she said, Sasha patted you on the head, “You’ll be fine, y/n!”
I’ll be fine? Groaning again, you leaned your cheek on your hand as you looked at the people chatting or studying at their tables. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice..” which to an extent is true. You either continue to put up with Eren until you eventually get an appointment with the Dean, or you talk to Levi Ackerman and hope you don’t spiral. That name though…, you pondered, Why do I know it? Smearing around the egg yolk on your avocado toast you glanced up at your friends. “Hey, why does that Levi name sound so familiar? Do we know him or something?” “Yes and no.” Sasha answered, “You’ve heard his name before because he’s that super mysterious senior everyone’s afraid of.” “He’s been the leader of the Honors Society since he was a sophomore, and he’s top-ranking academically in the country.” Mikasa added. Thinking to yourself you finally remembered, “Oh! That’s right!” You triumphantly chirped until it dawned on you what you remembered. Noticing the dread in your eyes Sasha laughed, “Mhm, you definitely look like you remember now~” “He’s that academic thug…” sinking into your chair you genuinely began to wonder who you crossed in your past life to deserve this, I probably helped commit genocide or something…, “Yeah, he’s gotten into a few fights but it’s always settled within reason.” “Pft, c’mon Mikasa, the schools probably too scared to punish its most valuable student.” Sasha snorted. “Hm. You might have a point, but it’s usually ruffians who feel they have something to prove that challenge him,” Mikasa pointed out, “He also hangs around his small clique. I think, our seniors like Petra, Eld, Gunther, Olou, and Hange.” “See y/n! How bad could he be if he hangs out with them?” Sighing, you smiled at your two closest friends and their attempt at making you feel better. “Yeah, you guys are right,” finishing your latte, you beamed down at them, “I’m gonna kick today's ass!”
After the three of you waved your goodbyes, you set off to go find the very man you only hear of through quiet whispers. Honestly, with all the mystery shrouding him you really started to believe he was some sort of urban legend the school came up with. Kind of like ‘if you don’t do your homework, Levi Ackerman will show up in your closet’ type of thing, you know? With an exasperated sigh, you look down at your clothes. Great. I’m about to meet the guy who’s also known for his ocd in a jujutsu keisen hoodie, spandex shorts, and crocs.. Sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck, you stared up at the birds flying above you, I wish I could live freely like them… Longingly looking up, you snap out of your thoughts as you approached the administrative office. Well, I promised Sasha and Mikasa I’d do this so.. here I go. Stepping into the front office you began your unexpected hour-and-a-half-long journey being sent practically all across campus in search of this Levi guy. You went from office to office, met up with more people than you’ve probably spoken to in the last two weeks, and wasted time waiting around for people who ended up either not knowing where he is or sending you back across campus. Until finally you made it to the science research facility building where you tiredly dragged yourself toward the receptionist’s desk. “Please..” you heaved, “Please tell me… *gasp of air* tell me Levi Ackerman is in this building!” Your eyes pleaded at the poor, spooked old lady as she stared at you. “Oh honey, please have a seat!” She scurried next to you and guided you to sit down, “He’s tucked away in the computer lab right now, let me go notify him!” Grabbing her arm, you peered into her eyes, “He’s here?” “Y-yes!” Nervously laughing, she placed her hand on top of yours, “You know what? How about you come with me. He’ll most likely decline your visit if I notify him.” And with that, you made your final trudge with the old lady you managed to scare into personally leading you to Levi.
“Alrighty sweetheart, this is him.” Pointing toward a large door, the receptionist politely smiled at you before hurrying back to her desk and leaving you all alone. Glancing at the wooden door, you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Okay… I um.. I made it this far, right? You tried to reassure yourself but the longer you stared at the door, the more your imagination ran rampant. What if he’s big and terrifying looking? You imagined a tall, ogre-looking man, Or what if he’s a total creep? Then some balding guy who resembled a mole. If ren were here I wouldn’t feel so intimid—huh? Ren? Shuddering at your thoughts, you took a deep inhale, Alright, clearly the longer I stand here the more I’m beginning to lose it, so with a little pep-talk you figured you might as well rip the bandaid. Twisting the handle, you carefully pushed open the door and peeked inside. The entire room was almost the size of an entire lecture hall but filled with neat rows of computers. Wow… you thought as you opened the door further to step inside. Looking around the room in amazement, you immediately stopped in your tracks when you noticed a figure sitting at the front of the room reading a textbook with notebooks and papers stacked on the table. That must be him. Clearing your throat you decided to call out to him, “Excuse me, I’m looking for Levi Ackerman,” slowly walking up to him you tried to fill in the silence, “I’m assuming that’s you, right?” Closing in on the table he sat at, you managed to make out a head of black hair and.. and him drinking tea? Quirking a brow at the full tea set he had displayed, you spoke up again, “My names y/n. I wanted to talk to you about an issue I have and I was told you cou—“ “Get lost.” H-huh..? Did I mishear him? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you but I—“ “If you don’t intend to offend me then go bother somebody else. I’m busy.” His voice was deep and monotone, clearly uninterested in what you had to say by the way he didn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you knitted your brows in irritation. Of course. Gritting your teeth, you strode right up to him and slammed your hand down on the desk, “You’re a tough guy to find, you know that?” You chuckled dryly, “Did you also know I spent the last two hours running around campus trying to find you? So no, I’m not leaving until you at least listen to what I have to say.” Setting his tea down, the raven-haired man finally turned to look at you, “Is that so?” He questioned, though it was clear the question was more rhetorical than genuine. With a long sigh, he swiveled his chair to completely face you; and then that’s when you flinched in surprise as you scanned him. He’s hot… you thought, Oh god, he’s hot..!? The man in question had inky black hair styled in an undercut, a complimentary choice when paired with his delicate yet sharp features. This definitely wasn’t what you expected. Even the dark circles under his eyes look good… A light blush began to creep up on your cheeks as you realized the commotion you just made in front of someone like him. All the while you stared in a flustered daze, Levi was languidly trailing his eyes across your body. Resting his head on his hand, he couldn’t deny he liked the sudden surprise presented to him. Huh.. he mused. “Well? What’s so damn important?” Straightening up at the sound of his voice, you smoothed out the wrinkles on your hoodie, “Oh! Yes, of course.. I’d like to propose a change of dorm mates.” Staring at him, the intensity in his eyes only worked to captivate you to him, “My… my roommate isn’t working out, and no matter what I try to do to civilize the situation it just doesn’t work out..” you ended, almost disappointingly. Levi hummed as he listened before standing up from his chair. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?” But something about his tone made you think he might’ve been referring to something else. “Why not go to the Dean?” He inquired as he slowly approached you, and you subconsciously took a few steps back until the back of your thighs hit a table behind you and you almost fell sitting on it. “The Dean has appointments booked all through the semester and since the matter is urgent I figured I’d reach out to his personal assistant.” The fact you managed to jumble that out without stuttering was a blessing in itself. “I see.” Narrowing his eyes on you he continued, “Then I guess I have no choice but to agree if it’s so urgent.” Blinking a few times you took a moment to process his words, Is he agreeing to help me? “Meet me later this evening to discuss the details,” his expression remained unchanged but you caught glimpse of the glimmer in his silver eyes as he stared at you, “I assume 7 works for you?” “7..?” You muttered, “Ah, yes, of course!” “Great. I’ll escort you then. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he closed in on your body and reached an arm past your waist, his lips inches away from your ear as he leaned in, “I have other matters to attend to.” Your body stiffened and your breath hitched until he pulled back with a notebook in his hand. He was.. just reaching for his notebook..? Nodding your head in agreement you politely excused yourself and raced out of the room with a bright blush searing your skin as he watched slightly amused at your disappearing figure.
After exiting the computer lab, you stood there for a few seconds in a flustered haze. What the hell just happened? Brushing your fingertips across your cheek you tried to ease away the warmth on them. Heh, I’ve gotta tell Sasha and Mikasa about this! You giddily thought as you whipped out your phone and started typing in the group chat. And after a morning of lectures and labs without your backpack, you finally made it back to your dorm. Heaving a sigh, you slung yourself on the couch and peeked your eye to where your broken figurine last lay. It’s gone… You figured Eren must’ve thrown it away along with the rest of the trash before leaving for his afternoon classes. Grabbing a pillow you covered your face and screamed into the fabric before sitting up and punching it a few times in frustration. “Fuck—!” You loudly groaned out. Why does he have to be that way? Scrunching your face, you massaged the bridge of your nose to calm down, He’s a dick to everyone, sure, but why does he target me so much? Even after… Throwing the pillow to the other side of the couch you hastily stood up and checked the time. Whatever, you bitterly thought, it’ll all be over soon enough. So you brushed off the thought and jumped in the shower to get ready for tonight’s occasion.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Rushing around your room, you turned your phone on to see 6:43 p.m. glaring at you. No, no, nononono—! Hissing in annoyance at your time management, you hurriedly slipped on a long, slit, silk skirt over your sheer tights. “Okay, alright, almooost done!” Grunting as you put on a pair of platform boots, you stood up and admired yourself in the mirror. “Heh,” you chuckled, “Elegant and fashionable with a touch of promiscuous.” After pulling a quick jojo pose in the mirror, you adjusted your open back top and strut through your bedroom door with an excited smile. But your smile immediately turned into a grimace when you caught sight of Eren and Louise lounging on the couch. Fucking bitch.. you internally sneered as you scrunched your nose in distaste. “Self-respect… and that goes for the both of them.” You mumbled under your breath. Forget it. Rummaging around the kitchen, you tried looking for your hand purse until an agitated voice called out to you.
“Shocked you’re not tryna run around empty-handed again since you had no problem with it this morning,” you could already see his irked frown, “and yeah I heard you’ve been taking a tour through campus by the way.” Roiling your eyes, you heard him shift as you clipped on your earrings, “I looked for you in the library to bring you your bag since apparently, you need everything done for y—“ widening his eyes, Erens jaw slacked as he eyed you. “…. fuck” he lowly muttered. He knew you were fine, he gets mesmerized by your beauty every day, but damn. Your leg peeking out of the silk fabric slit, and the way it’s tight fit complimented the curve of your ass was just too much for him. His mildew gaze trailed up to your open back top and he almost groaned at the slightest tease of side-boob. And just as he almost folded, he snapped out of it when he realized you were going out dressed like that. “Wait, where the fuck are you going?”
But Eren knew that wasn’t what he was really asking. No, what you wore never bothered him, in fact, he loved when you got all dolled up; let others look because he can fight — and he has, for you. What Eren was really asking was ‘Where the fuck are you going without me?’ ‘Who are you meeting?’ ‘Do you like them?’ ‘Would you forget me?’ Those were the real questions bouncing around in his head.
“Doesn’t matter.” Was all you replied, but the grip those two words had on him were like a vice. Leaning down to adjust your ankle bracelet, his eyes darted to the way your back subtly arched. He could already feel the tent growing in his pants, but he couldn’t be bothered to do something to hide it when all he could think about was how pretty you’d look stuffed full of him. He was desperate to touch you, feel you, claim you — just as desperate as he was to be owned by you, in every way, any way you’d allow him to be yours. Maybe you were just too dense for your own good. He tried his damndest to keep his composure as best as he could but his voice gave it away, “It’s a fucking date.” He snarled, low and threateningly. You glanced over at him, confused and infuriated at his audacity to interrogate you about where you were going or who you were meeting. “Doesn’t. Matter.” Both of you locked eyes as an intensity conflicted within his irises and a rage burned within yours. Scoffing, you turned on your heels, grabbed your purse, and walked toward the front door. Eren wanted to stand up and stop you, he wanted to do something anything but the pulsing ache in his pants kept him rooted to the couch. “Tell me who it is.” He demanded, and you finally reached your breaking point. Clenching your fists you turned your head and glared at Eren, “Hah. You’re really something, huh?” You condescendingly seethed, “You always bring in random girls in here almost every night and you have the fucking audacity to question me?” Reaching for the handle, you pushed open the door, “Don’t forget your place, Eren.” And his eyes widened at the use of his name, “And I won’t forget mine.” Slamming the door behind you, he felt his heart ache at the way your voice wavered when you said those last words. He wanted to argue, tell you that you’re wrong, that he’d do anything for you but he couldn’t. All he could do was stare at the door and lose himself in his thoughts.
Through the halls, you bitterly made your way outside the dormitory. Who the hell does he think he is? Roughly opening doors, you fumed, Acting like he owns me. Hah! If I didn’t know better I’d even think he cares about me. Bursting open the front doors of the dorm entrance you marched outside and hastily walked out of the dormitory district, What does he want from me? Seriously, I don’t understand him at all! You clutched your purse as you trembled with anger, He’s so confusing, ugh! He does things for me that make me feel special but then he… but then he acts like that! Like.. like Eren and I d— bumping into somebody, you stumbled back. Huh? Looking up you were surprised to see,
“Levi?”
“The hells wrong with you?” Steadying you with a hand around your arm, you didn’t realize he had grabbed you to keep you from falling, “Do you normally walk around like you’re ready to slice someone’s head off?” He asked, and you looked away in embarrassment, “.. sorry.” “Clearly whoever you’re so damn angry with should be the one apologizing,” letting go of your arm he sardonically added, “or it’s their funeral.” Covering your mouth, you laughed at his words, and his attention focused on the sound. Pretty.. he thought. Easing from your laughter, you looked up at him with a cheery smile, “Thank you for going out of your way to wait for me, I’m sorry I’m a little late.” “Yeah.. don’t-um..,” clearing his throat, Levi averted his gaze from yours, “Don’t worry about it.” Blinking at him, you stood admiring the way the luminescent streetlights illuminated his clear skin, “We should get going.” Interrupting your daze, you tilted your head in curiosity, Hm? Oh, that’s right, “Where are we going?” Checking his watch, his sharp eyes flickered up at you, “There’s a cafe I frequent often,” walking next to you, he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you next to him and away from the street, “It’s a little hidden but they have a good atmosphere.” His gaze drifted to you and carefully took in the sight of you, “I hope it’s to your taste.” Glancing at him your eyes sparked with excitement, “A hidden cafe? I love checking out new coffee shops to study in! I’m looking forward to potentially adding another shop to my list!” Levi watched as you buzzed with enthusiasm. He was a little apprehensive about inviting you out to a small cafe, not knowing if it’d be something you’d enjoy, so to see you react so excitedly he sighed in relief. Seems this little venture might actually be worth its while. Unbeknownst to you, Levi did do a little background check on you through his student access — perk of being the Deans assistant — and he was pleasantly surprised to see all the achievements and participation activities you had under your belt. Most students don’t bother to do more than get through classes and do solely what’s asked of them as students. So his interest most definitely peaked when he quickly scanned through your transcript. Charming, fierce, intelligent, and beautiful. Lucky me.. he mused.
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#jay writes ! ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̷̷̷ ⋆⁺₊⋆#aot x reader#snk x reader#eren x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren yaeger x reader#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#aot angst#aot fluff#aot smut#aot imagines#attack on Titan x reader
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Church Girl
Oscar Piastri x Autistic!reader
Genre: hurt/comfort
Request: no (check masterlist for request status)
Summary: Church has a tendency to make people feel unwanted. When reader goes to visit her family, they convince her to go with them to the place she’s trying to forget. Good thing Oscar is there with her.
Warnings: toxic religious folk, religious trauma, creepy old men, panic attacks
Notes: okay so this goes out to my neurodivergents who were stuck in a church that didn’t understand them with peers who made them feel like they were an alien, adults who were always asking the wrong questions and judging their clothes, and were forced into the stereotypes they wanted you to fit in. Fire Drill by Melanie Martinez was on repeat while writing this.
This is loosely based on true events
Masterlist
Summer break is here which means it’s time to go visit family. She and Oscar board the plane to her home country, all smiles and laughs.
She’s missed them since being away. Her family hasn’t always understood her, but she loves them dearly.
When they arrived they were greeted with hugs and questions about the trip.
At the dinner table that night, Oscar was quick to realize that he didn’t fully realize how religious his girlfriends family is. It seemed to be their favorite topic.
The girl next to him was struggling with the conversation and he could feel her stimming under the table. She’d talked about her church experience a little with him. He didn’t want to push her so he didn’t know the full extent of everything that happened. He recalls her mom having to put up with some horrible people and the tears over how it hurt her to see her mom so broken in a place she should feel loved. How her sister felt she would never be good enough for their expectations. How her dad uses is to control them sometimes.
And yet they’d convinced them to go with. Well- more like she was trying to please and wants to spend time with her family.
In the lonesome of their room that night, she collapsed into him.
“I think I might vomit.”
He simply hold her. “Do you want to talk about it? We can always say we changed our minds.” He suggests. His attempt at reassuring her futile as she panics more.
“The people there judge so critically. It didn’t help that I was weird to kids my age and mature enough for the adults to ask me why I’m showing my shoulders because they’re a distraction.”
Oscar hums in understanding. Carful not to interrupt her explanation but still show he’s listening.
“They say it’s a stereotype, but it’s true. I’ve been teased and looked down on and made out to be over dramatic. My old youth pastor used to talk to my mom about my ‘behavior’ and how I argued with him to much. Then I yelled at him for getting in my personal space and saying things an adult should never say to a child, in my opinion. I was constantly told I talk to much about the wrong things and not enough about the right.”
Though Oscar’s shirt is getting wet, he doesn’t care. Her more harmful stimming habits are showing as he’s determined not to let that happen. She plays with his fingers instead. “I can’t do it Jack.”
The endearing nickname alerts him this is serious. He didn’t know how far this trauma had been rooted inside her. No wonder she struggles with her self-esteem, she was told her entire life she’d never measure up. She’d endured hours of countless awkward conversations and events she couldn’t wait to leave.
The worst part is that he knows it’s why she apologizes for everything. It didn’t matter how much she tried to look ‘normal’ she couldn’t get it right and people were mad at her for it.
“I will leave it up to you, but say the word and I’ll have us out of here in an hour.”
~
Oscar had half a mind just to feign sickness and tell them they can’t go. The girl pacing the room had yet to get dressed or pull the plug and say she doesn’t want to go.
“I say wear something comfortable and scandalous.” He leans back on the bed with a smirk.
“Since when are you so evil? And are you crazy? I’d get eaten by judgmental stares.”
“Let them stare. You deserve to be comfortable in whatever you wear without feeling judged and preyed on.”
~
They took a separate car from her parents. Partially because they wanted to leave early, mostly because in case of emergency they had an escape vehicle.
He could feel her trying to self soothe in the passenger seat. She’d finally settled for her favorite pair of pants and his sweatshirt. Comfort clothes for a hard situation definitely seemed like the best option.
He held her hand as they walked to the front door and stopped right outside. “Remember you’re not stuck. We can leave anytime you want.” She nods her head appreciatively, then they step through the doors.
He felt like the were underdressed. Which is an absolutely ridiculous notion because it’s eight in the morning and he’d rather be asleep. How these people look dressed for a ball at this hour is beyond him.
Oscar spots her family amongst the sea of people and weaves them into their vicinity.
“Y/N, hi! How are you? It’s been so long!” Chirps an elderly woman who awkwardly embraces the girl. She’s still as a board and yet the lady doesn’t get the hint.
“I’m alright.” She smiles politely.
“And who’s this young man?”
“My boyfriend, Oscar.”
He reaches out his hand to her and she shakes it. “It’s nice to meet you.” He offers his media coached smile.
“Oh are you two planning on settling down? Having kids?”
She shuffles awkwardly looking for a response. She hates invasive questions like these. Now would normally be where an inappropriate joke about Lando practically being their child would go but she thinks that might be wrong. But what’s even right in this situation?
“Not currently. I travel for work majority of the year so it would be difficult to start a family.” She’s grateful Oscar knows to manage conversation.
“Oh well… that’s to bad.” Then the woman shuffles away.
“I told you it’s bad.”
“I see your point. Did you know her?”
“No but apparently everyone is allowed to talk to you like that even if you just know a persons name because we’re a ‘church family’.
As they wait for the service to start, they pass the time by people watching. Snickering at the obvious fake smiles and perfect families people show off on Sunday mornings.
They are rudely interrupted by a male probably in his forties. “Excuse me, I have got to ask, are you two siblings?”
He must be newer, she thinks to herself, it’s not like she’s been gone that long. She shakes her head at the man, one hand in Oscar’s the other inside the sweatshirt pocket. “No sir, we’re dating actually.”
“That’s a real shock. He’s a keeper if that’s how you dress all the time and he still chose you.” His comment is directed at her. The social analysis kicking in. Is this sarcasm? Or maybe a joke she doesn’t get? Is he being serious?
“What do you mean by that?” Oscar is quick to ask back. Again, saving her from most likely saying something she shouldn’t.
“Most guys enjoy when a girl wears appropriate female clothing. I’m just saying she’s lucky to have you if this is what she wears all the time.” He eyes her up and down. “Would be prettier in a dress I reckon.”
“Nope. She’s pretty in everything she wears.” Oscar is dragging her off in the opposite direction before turning around. “Also, sir, I’m the lucky one.”
The service is long and boring. The two pass notes back and forth like they are in high school. Though they aren’t necessarily trying to hide the fact they are doing it.
When it’s over, they quickly tell her parents they are heading out because truthfully, the girl is in the verge of a meltdown from the over stimulation.
They get almost to the door before being stopped again by the last person she wanted to ever see again. Her old youth pastor.
“Y/N! I didn’t think you were ever coming back!” He goes to hug her but she steps back. Almost using Oscar as a barrier. “Awe don’t be like that.” He pouts.
“We were actually just heading out.” Oscar steps in. He didn’t like how the man is eyeing her. It’s uncomfortable for him and even more so for her.
“And you are…?”
“Oscar, her boyfriend.”
A look of shock spreads across his face. “That’s gooier to hear. I didn’t think she’d ever find someone.” Oscar doesn’t hesitate to use his sarcasm and over expressive facial expressions as he feigns curiosity.
“Why’s that?”
“I could never get her to shut up about things that weren’t important. And after the lengthy discussion we had with the board about her argumentative attitude with her male superiors, I just thought it would never happen.”
She didn’t tell him about that one. Oscar can see out of the corner of his eye how her head drops in shame. He doesn’t let go of her hand. “So you work with kids but when one doesn’t act the way you want you take to abusive behaviors? Glad to see a church full of people who are supposed to be loving are letting their youth get hurt by adults.” He says launder then necessary, but it gets his point across because people heard him.
He turns in his heels and places a protective arm around her waist as they walk to the car.
He knows she’s overstimulated, so he tries lets her go at her own pace when they get back to her parents house. The spare key still in the same place it’s been for years, so no need to wait outside.
In the safety of the room, she latches herself onto the Aussie. “I’m sorry.”
He holds her and does his best to soothe her. “You’ve nothing to apologize for. Those people are sick, I swear. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”
“That meeting was the worst day of my life. Sitting in a room with a bunch of older men telling me how to behave. They made some jokes that they shouldn’t have and told me I’d never have a good life if I kept acting like I had been.” She’s wailing now.
Oscar can practically hear his hear shatter. How could people be so ignorant and blind?
“They said that my autism isn’t an excuse and that I need to try harder. Then they said maybe one of them can take me under their wing and show me how to treat a man right. I was barely eighteen.”
They spent the night like that. Her crying into his shoulder and him trying to calm her down. She fell asleep in his arms and he didn’t have the heart to move her and risk waking her up.
He couldn’t fathom someone telling her her brain being different means she’s not good enough. It’s what makes her unique in his eyes. How could someone not love the way her eyes light up when she talks about those interests that she never gets tired of. How her honesty and ability to stand her ground make conversations with her never dull.
Oscar leans down and kisses her head. “I don’t care who says you aren’t good enough, they are lying. You are for more then enough and I feel so special that you love me and are willing to share those pieces of yourself with me.”
#x reader#fanficion#f1 fic#formula one#formula 1#racing#angst#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#lando norris x reader#formula racing#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#mclaren formula 1#redbull racing#charles leclerc fic#mclaren racing#scuderia ferrari#f1#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#mclaren f1#mclaren
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I am of the DPxDC belief/headcanon that any variation of Danny who grew up poor in Gotham during his formative years before moving to Amity Park would not be friends with Sam without friction at first. It makes things more interesting and imo allows for more exploration of different themes plus character growth for Sam that she doesn't really go through in canon.
(this doesn't only apply to a DPDC au where Danny grew up in Gotham poor, but it was the first thing that I thought of where this might happen considering my Childhood Friends au.)
Now Sam's a compassionate girl, it's one of her defining character traits, but so is her hypocrisy and judgy-ness. She's the Not Like Other Girls' girl. This is in part of the show's narrative framing that makes her out like this, unfortunately though its still showing how she is as a character since its consistent enough to be part of her character description. There are also times where the show's depiction of her activism makes it look like she's performative about it. All of this makes her dynamic with a Danny who grew up poor in Gotham very interesting.
Anyways, Sam is aware of her privilege to an extent, but still has her blindspots - glaring ones, in some cases. Her self-righteous attitude would not go over well with a crime alley kid Danny. He'd like her, at first, but then she'd do something to make him mad - personally I think her judging people for not being vegan would annoy him the most, or at least would be the breaking point for him, because it was only recently that his family started actually being able to consistently put food on the table at all, good food nonetheless. And being vegan is expensive.
Any other behavior he noticed from her he'd slowly stop tolerating - her judging conventionally attractive girls and automatically assuming they're vapid and shallow for being feminine. Her anti-capitalist beliefs start coming off as superficial at worst, and Danny would eventually figure out that Sam either came from a family that was well off, or that she wasn't aware if her family was experiencing financial struggle.
He would still be friends with Tucker, but since Tucker imo is still friends with Sam, they'd still run into each other often enough to butt heads. Sam's got a nasty habit of refusing to take responsibility when she's wrong, but when Danny is arguing with her, and counterpointing her with stuff she can't retort back at without compromising her own beliefs, then forces her to start reflecting on herself. Especially when Tucker eventually starts siding with Danny and agreeing with him.
Does sam genuinely care about her beliefs and philosophies? Survey says yes. However that doesn't mean she's not ignorant, and she definitely is at times throughout the show (like when she released the purpleback gorilla thinking it 'wanted out of its enclosure' despite the fact that it was endangered and in an urban area) and I think it'd be a real fascinating dynamic between Danny and Sam to explore.
This isn't Sam hate btw, nor am I trying to make her out like "the worst person ever" bc she's not, i wanna make that explicitly clear. Sam Manson has a lot of positive traits about her but she also has an equal amount of negative traits that I think should be explored, she is not immune to the character development.
#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc#dpdc headcanon#dpxdc headcanon#dpxdc danny fenton#dpxdc sam manson#on a funnier note to me Danny asks Sam how much a loaf of bread costs and she can't tell him bc she doesn't know#she's an activist but also look me in the eyes and tell me she knows how much stuff at the grocery store costs#rich girl advocate sam vs crime alley kid danny FIGHT#does sam genuinely care about her beliefs and philosophies? survey says yes. however that doesn't mean she's not ignorant#cfau danny calls her privileged once and sam turns a new shade of red#this isn't sam hate btw i wanna make that explicitly clear#she's great i love her hOWEVER i am not blind to her flaws and i think it gets ignored by fanon AND canon in favor of girlbossing her#this also brings up the idea that Sam (based on her releasing the gorilla) would either respect damian wayne or HATE him bc she's judgy#and one of her flaws is her moral superiority over others. how very christian of you Sam - and i know she's jewish. thats part of the irony#he'd open an animal rehabilitation center and she'd assume the absolute worst. its hilarious. Damian would eat her alive#im taking a bat to a hornet's nest i think
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Hi! I was the one who requested the daughters one. Can you write it for the undateables?
sure thing bestie🫡 sorry I made you wait 💔
With his Daughter
Diavolo:
● As the future Queen of Devildom you'd think his daughter is the perfect little girl in pretty dresses holding tea parties with her stuffies....
● My sweet summer child...
● She's a menace.
● You know girls usually take after their father. Diavolo is a fully grown adult and he can still be a menace.
● Can you imagine what he was like as a toddler ?? ● His little girl LOVES speaking her mind and Diavolo is very supportive of this habit. He adores how little kids think; and say the obvious. He damn sure won't be getting in the way of her freedom.
● Little girlie also likes to climb trees, play in the mud, prank the staff, if you get her one of those electric cars from the Human World she'd never get out.
● Likes to yell and throw tantrums; this is the only behavior of hers which Diavolo dislikes, though he is very patient with her regardless. Explains to her why she is being too much right now BUT let's go get icecream instead just to calm down.
● Think of Muffin from Bluey. Exactly.
● She is hectic, she is faaar from perfect, but his daddy doesn't let anyone tell her off or make her feel bad about it.
● As the other parent.... you hardly can rest with this two but if anyone, it's you who can slow them down a bit if this is not your style.
Barbatos:
● He has experience raising kids, though usually sons.
● He was not prepared for his daughter to steal his heart so effortlessly though.
● He is absolutely in love since day 1. She was just born and now he'd do anything for her.
● Though she is not going to be so spiled to do whatever she wants, she must learn to be nice and polite - though I think she is a much calmer kid than Diavolo's, for example.
● She likes to pick flowers, play on the swing, dress pretty, and she likes to give kisses. She also likes to help her daddy cook!!
● Her dad is so proud of her, even when he is tired he refuses to rest unless they had playtime.
Simeon:
● Antoher person with experience; though the infant stage is new for him as well.
● He'd absolutely love his child no matter the gender, but his little girl is a copy-paste version of him of course he is obsessed.
● Gets up every single time she cries, does anything to calm her down, has endless patience. ● Hardly ever gets frustrated even when he hasn't slept well in years. Truly a perfect example.
● Likes to go on trips as a family!!!
● Very soft-spoken with her, explains everyting as many times as needed.
● His daughter isn't too spoiled but she has everything a kid needs. Has simple toys, non of that loud flashy stuff.
● Loves to read her stories inside, in the garden, on the road, doesn't matter he just wants to make sure his baby is set for a good, creative, happy life.
Solomon:
● Okay I doubt he was the protective kind BEFORE becoming a father..... and he is not going to change AFTER becoming one either.
● Kids must learn how the world works right?
● It is the best for her to experience everything.
● Yes he is there to calm her down, provide aid, etc, but he is not going to stop her from touching a thorn for example
● Like superglue his daughter is right there with him at all times. He can only use the toilet if he manages to leave without her noticing.
● I loove to imagine him carrying his daughter on his shoulders!!!
● Ah imagine him playing blocks with her 🥹 Building the prettiest castle just for her to destroy!
● Likes to wear matching colored clothing with her
● His heart breaks to shreds when she refuses to eat anything he cooks... there is no going back from that. Easily the worst feeling he had in the past centuries.
● His daughter is very clever for her age at all times. She might tutor some of her classmates if she likes them.
AN: did you know the base of your personality is inherited from your parents? yes you might change on purpose here and there, yes society, your culture also shapes you as you grow, but the base material you have to work with is inherited
AN 2: i have no clue where part one is but i trust it is on my blog somewhere 👉👈
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#omswd#obey me diavolo#swd obey me#obey me swd#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me hcs#obey me hc#obey me fluff#simeon#obmswd
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how do you connect to your character? like how do get to know them so well? how do you pick out their likes, dislikes, habits and those itty bitty bits about them? I've been struggling to do that for sooo many of my ocs, and i'm also at a lost of how to design them. like i once had a clear idea of what kind of character they are, but i wanted to change them a bit, make them a little better, and i feel like I've lost that character and that character i'm working on doesn't exists, no matter how much i loved them and enjoyed writing an drawing them. this has happened with every single character i made and it just makes me think that i may not be cut out for drawing or writing characters. i look up to you so i thought of asking you for help
sry for the long rant idk wat im doing
HELLO HELLO THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! So basically I took this question and turned it into a 1.6k word essay on writing characters and how I like to do it, so, uh, hope you enjoy!! and hope it helps!
OK!! character writing. How do you do it? or, well, how do I do it. I’ve got a few methods that help me out the most and are the most fun for me to think about. Here’s my big secret, if it’s not fun I don’t do it. I’m not here to do homework I’m waaayyyy out of school. I’m a legal adult. I pay my taxes. I’m not gonna do something that doesn’t give my brain the good fun juice. Anyways. My methods are: symbols, archetypes, and character inspiration. I use all these to figure out the CORE of a character, their very beating heart, and most importantly, what haunts them. Everything about a character, in my opinion, comes from this core and their ghost. Their habits, their fears, their joys, their coping mechanisms. So long as you have a clear grasp on their heart, you won’t go astray. Let’s dive into it! The characters I’m going to be using to describe how I use these methods are Alice and others characters from my webcomic—namely Edith, Hatter, and Rougina—and Tomiko (you know her you love her, catgirl supreme).
Symbols! I love using symbols, they’re something that can describe a character through metaphor, even without going into detail about their whole backstory and habits. Tomiko’s symbols are lanterns (specifically light), cats, ghosts/yokai, shapeshifting, and gold. They all work to further her character as a rough around the edges monster cat with a heart of gold, who uses shapeshifting as a method (both literally and metaphorically) to mold herself into what others need her to be. Alice’s symbols are hearts, eyes, and flesh in general. Try picking one general symbol (the ocean, the forest, the city), and see how specific you can get from there. Or pick a god or goddess that resonates with your character and see what symbols are used for them. Rougina (the antagonist in my webcomic) is a war goddess fallen from grace, and is symbolized with land and volcanoes, so I’ve used volcanic plants to evoke her. Personally I also love going through the tarot for symbols, assigning a tarot card to characters (of the major arcana) is a fun exercise. Which leads us nicely into our next method:
Archetypes! The tarot deck’s Major Arcana is pretty much only archetypes. The Empress as the Mother. The Magician as the Wise Mentor. The Tower as The Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen Oh Jesus Shit. These can help a lot with who your character is. I’m extremely storytelling oriented, so it helps me knowing What Role a character serves in the story they inhabit. Another thing I love in archetypes in the Zodiac. Yes, I am an astrology bitch. The whole reason I love talking about my methods is my Sag rising, I love giving my wisdoms. But astrology can be used for writing, and not just for excusing and not reflecting on shit behavior (can’t help being a gemini!). The zodiac is FILLED WITH ARCHETYPES!!! From elements to how they function! The four elements (you A:TLA bitches know this), and three modalities. If you’re interested please watch Eugene’s Rank King video, it’s very informative on the signs. Also many symbols! For example, Alice is a Taurus—May 4, Alice Liddell’s birthday—so she’s pretty stubborn while also loving creature comforts. Tomiko’s birthday is August 23, making her a Virgo, so she likes being precise in her work. More archetypes you can look for are DnD classes! I love using that to design costumes. One of Edith’s recent costumes is very wizard inspired, since that’s the class I see her having as she’s very studious and driven. Heck, all of Alice and the Nightmare is derived from the character archetypes of the Alice in Wonderland characters! Rougina is specifically the Red Queen, NOT the Queen of Hearts!! The confusion started with the 1951 Disney animated movie when the two characters were merged!! Lewis Carroll himself said the two were different! The Queen of Hearts is an “embodiment of ungovernable passion” and the Red Queen is “the concentrated essence of all governesses”!! GOD!!! Tim Burton meet me in the fucking pit you’ll pay for your alice crimes. anyways.
Archetypes help a lot in costumes too, figuring out what kind of fashion they’d like to wear. You can start broad and get more specific with it (like going from a wizard type character to a wizard character with steampunk themes). Fashion is just an extent of character. What are they comfy in? Are they confident in their body? What colors do they like? Bright high fashion or simple dark sweaters? Ryoko Kui is a master of character design I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend checking out her work.
Another method I like using, specifically for Alice and the Nightmare characters, is what I call the “three trait method”. When I was in middle school we did a production of Alice in Wonderland (I was the White Knight), and too many girls auditioned for Alice. So the director’s solution was to split the character into three parts, and assigning each part to an actor. Her temper, her intelligence, and her innocence, all used in different scenes. Now I use that to think about my own Alice character, except with “polite, temper, and curious”. Edith’s keywords are “nervous, tactical, and intelligent”. Hatter’s are “kind, enthusiastic, and intuitive”. Using keywords can help figure out how they’d react in a situation, what side of them would shine the brightest. Hatter’s want to help everyone is his kindness, but overstepping his bounds can be attributed to his enthusiasm. Edith can know what path to take in a pinch, but her nervousness can freeze her in place. Reading the source material helps a lot with Alice characters too, which brings us to our final point:
Character inspiration!! The art of taking things you like and shoving them into your own characters and stories. DISCLAIMER THO!!! If you take things without really EXAMINING what about them you like, WHY you like them, and how you’d like to evoke that same love in the things you make, the interpretations can come off as shallow. (for more on this subject, watch HBomberguy’s RWBY video essay, specifically the section on “anime homework”)
Tomiko’s biggest inspirations are Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec, Power and Reze from Chainsawman, San from Princess Mononoke, and Mei from LMK. It’s a good cocktail of aloof, biting, vicious, weird, fierce, loving, and bright. Figuring out what I love about the characters and what I want to write in a character like that helps a lot in writing Tomiko. It’s also really fun in a sense for screenshot redraws and memes.
Music is also a HUUUUUUGE source of inspiration for me, I love making playlists. And even as playlists can change as characters grow and change, having a couple of core songs still helps me ground to that character’s center. For Tomiko it’s “Make Them Gold” by CHVRCHES, and “Nice Girl” by Ashnikko. Alice’s is “Headlock” by Imogen Heap and “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko, Edith’s is “Warrior” by Kimbra, and Hatter’s is “Dementia” by Owl City.
Ok, we’ve gotten though symbols, archetypes, and made a couple of banger playlists. Next is something that can help write your character, the Big Lie. The thing that keeps them up at night. Their biggest fear, their ghost, what haunts them. What’s holding them back from their goals? What do they need to overcome? That can be as central to their theme as any symbolism. For Tomiko it’s the lie that her emotions don’t matter, only what she can do to be of service to her mother. Her arc is about overcoming her dismissing her own emotions and learning to not run away from the people who she truly cares for. Alice dismisses the literal ghost that is haunting her believing that that will let her have a normal life. Edith pushes down abilities that come naturally to her for fear that she’ll be exiled, not just from society, but the world. Rougina believes she must burden the world’s problems on her own shoulders with no one’s help. The outer character and the inner ghost can reflect, mirror, and inform each other.
Now, listen, sometimes characters are hard to get to know! Tomiko was lol. Quinn was for a looong time. And in times like this, I just, let them be. I listen to some music to get inspired, and let them tell me about themselves when they feel like it. And they will, it just take a little while. And a few dozen quick exploration drawings. But they come through. Also, try not to get bogged down with habits and little details of their character, keep their core in mind, what their heart is. Start broad and get specific. That way, if you feel like you’ve lost your way or the character feels different to you, recenter yourself at their heart and go from there. Or, if you find that their center no longer fits, don’t be afraid to change it! Characters are meant to be fun! First and foremost!! I make characters cause I like writing and storytelling, and drawing little comic for fun and me time. Sometimes characters stick around, sometimes they fall by the wayside. You really have to find what sparks joy, and chase your bliss!
So as long as you have your character’s essence in your hands, and you WANT to keep working on them and drawing them, there’s really no wrong way to go. This whole essay I’ve given is just a set of tools that works for ME, and I HIGHLY encourage you to find stuff that works for you! I really really hope that all this has made sense and isn’t just the ramblings of a madman. Good luck and happy charactering!!
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The best for both of us | Choi Beomgyu
Pairing: Writter!oc (named Seoli), animator!Beomgyu
Warnings: penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), clitoris stimulation, unprotected sex, overstimulation, poor plot, gaslighting, non corresponded love, toxic Beomgyu, soft som Beomgyu, sub reader, lemmie know if im missing something.
Word count: 2,6k
Masterlist
“We’ve already read your book and it’s amazing. We also saw the animations, and we all thought they are perfect for our style. However…” he stops talking.
“However, it’s too disturbing for anyone under fifteen” says his boss. The woman, the owner of the video games company, who wears an expensive suit that screams everywhere she’s a squared closed box. I don’t really know how she manages a video games company. “Which wouldn’t concern us if we didn’t want the money, but we need this project to be suitable for all ages”
“I talked about this before, I have already rejected various contracts because I’m not interested in any project in which my art is changed” I say.
“Well, as I already said before, we need this to be suitable for all ages”
I stand up, taking my documents from the table, and when I’m about to leave, Beomgyu takes my arm, forcing me to sit down.
“Well, why don’t we listen to their proposal?” He asks, looking at me with killing eyes, which I don’t really understand since he’s always been on my side when I rejected last projects for the same reason.
“Yeah, sure. We just thought it would be better if Kira’s enemy isn’t her mother but her father. This way, we can avoid some future problems with angry mothers” one of the workers points out in the presentation, the part where all of the changes appear. I frown, disgusted. “We can also make her boyfriend the good guy instead of just another enemy—you know, for the love scenes we need to create a fandom” A good boyfriend? In real life? I cannot help laughing sarcastically at this, to which Beomgyu hits me with his elbow on my arm. “And she might also change a little bit—see, this is Kira before, and this might be her after” the picture on the presentation shows the draw Beomgyu made with my instructions. I told him to use only black ink, and draw it very messy. I remember the day we decided that this art style was just perfect for my book. When I created Kira I was thinking of the worst part of the world, I even got inspired by my own life. She’s too thin because she had very poor eating habits, she’s tall, her hair is messy and greasy and the clothes she wears are made for someone bigger. Which makes a big contrast with the whole new character they made—this Kira is short, and has a big pair of round boobs, a tiny waist and big thighs; her hair is pretty and… she just seems like another video game girl character.
“We will skip her eating disorder, and she will not die at the end. There’s obviously more changes to do, but those are the most important ones”
Everyone looks at me while I try to do as much as I can in order to not explode there and then. I feel just so offended that I cannot even speak. Even if I open my mouth, nothing comes out.
I stand up, take my papers and get out of the office, not even worrying if Beomgyu tries to hold me once again.
After an hour or two of getting back home, I finally start to calm down. That’s exactly when Beomgyu enters home too.
“Fuck, you could have waited for me, you know?” He wasn’t mad, that’s just his usual behavior.
“Seoli, we need to talk” I do not turn around to face him, keeping up on reading the instructions of the new bedroom lamp I just bought. “Seoli” he takes my hand, forcing me to turn around. “Why do you keep rejecting any minor change in your books?”
I turn my eyes. “You should know that, Gyu. My books are all too personal. If I write something is because I feel it, and I don’t like it to be changed”
“Yeah, I understand that, but you cannot keep rejecting every opportunity you have” he sighs. “See, babe, I think this is the best company you’ve been contacted by, and if you want to succeed, you should sign with them”
I frown. “Why do you like this company that much? I’ve rejected thousands of companies before, and you always supported me”
“I’m just looking for the best for both of us. We’re twenty now, but soon, we’re gonna be thirty, and forty, and fifty; we need to make money for the future… this isn’t a big company—small enough for you to be important and ask for almost everything you want, but also big enough to succeed monetarily and as an artist. This is just what we need”
“I don’t care about the money, everything I care about is being loyal to myself. I won’t sell myself and my art to some shitty company. The things they said to me in that reunion were almost insulting! How the fuck am I supposed to be fine while seeing one of my deepest books being thrown away this bad and be happy with it because I MIGHT get two hundred dollars a month from now on?! Specially in this one book!… this is almost my own autobiography…” the last words were almost audible, very low in contrast with the rest of my screams. It hurts my heart as I said it.
I see some kind of compassion in my colleague’s eyes. We never talked too deeply about it, but I did tell him that most of my books have some kind of self insert somewhere, but never as important as this one.
He takes my body in his hands, hugging me so comfortably as one only time before—when I confessed to him, and he said sorry because he couldn’t correspond to me.
He moves apart without letting me go, and unexpectedly, takes the back of my neck and kisses me. He only touches my lips with his once, moving away just a little, and then kisses me deeper when I take the back of his neck also with my right hand and his shoulder with my left hand.
He’s gentle at first, only leaving some close mouthed kisses on my lips, until he notices I’m more eager, and then, he devours my mouth whole like it's the last thing he’s gonna do on earth.
His hands travel all over my body as he starts kissing the side of my neck, sucking on my skin, biting and then licking, to which I cannot do anything but hum in pleasure—he touches my back, caresses my waist and pushes the hem of my gray shirt up.
I squeeze his shoulder when he take off my shirt and starts kissing my clavicles, and scream of pleasure as he bites the bone.
While devouring my torax, he manages to take off my black bralette, and kisses all of the skin of my small breasts, making me wonder if he actually likes the curvy girls he shows me of it it’s always been nothing but a façade in order to no look like a pervert.
He takes my hand from the back of his neck, moving away from me, unbuttoning my low-rise jeans and lowering my panties, then guiding me to sit on the couch. I oblige, and soon he’s kissing my body again, my abdomen, my pelvis, my thighs—which he takes and puts them over his shoulders before looking at me, right in the eyes as if looking for consent, but keeps going without a second of thought.
I scream when I feel his muscle exploring all of my cunt without a warning.
“Gyu-“ I moan while tapping his back with the tip of my foot.
He notices I got more sensitive everytime he stimulates my clitoris with his tongue, so he decides to do precisely this while one of his fingers caresses my entrance. A second finger enters, and he starts scissoring as if measuring if something will be able to come in.
My hand found its way on Beomgyu’s fluffy hair, which I take strongly trying to move it apart but also trying to keep it as close as I can.
Once he positions himself on the perfect way to have me screaming his name once and again and again, he starts doing it nonstop, faster, and holding my body by my pelvic area so I don’t move too much. My whole body trembles from pleasure, and I feel the knot on my lower abdomen tightening so much I feel it’s about to break.
And within thirty seconds morr, my whole body spasms under his, while I scream nonesenses and cry his name. He keeps on licking my whole cunt, cleaning me from my orgasm, making me cry at the oversensitivity. I try to push his face away, however, my strength after an orgasm is always null.
He goes back to the same speed as earlier, to which I scream: “Too much, gyu!”, but he doesn’t stop. Instead, his pace becomes even faster, making my head spin as I unexpectedly orgasm once again, faster than the first time.
He caresses my pelvic bones, licking my juices from his face. He stands up and kisses my lips once again, letting me taste my own cum.
I hear his right hand unbuttoning his jeans while his left hand helps him hover over me. I hear his clothes fall to the ground, and then, his tip touches my left thigh. I move away from the kiss for a second, moaning as I mentally prepare myself for having sex after one and a half large years of not being active.
“I know it’s always been hard to go through changes, babe,” he mutters in between kisses. “but everything I’m doing is looking for the best for you. You’re really successful with your books, but you don’t know if it will ever change as you grow up” the contrast between his lovely words and his condescending voice tone, and his hand lifting one of my legs up to my ribs making me go crazy. “Besides, you can ask for any change you want, and as long as it doesn’t make the game too disturbing for kids under twelve years old, they will accept it” the tip of his cock touches my clitoris at first, and then, he explores my whole cunt, looking too casual in contrast with my high expression. “Seoli, I will always be by your side” and suddenly, that option didn’t seem like trash anymore.
With that, he puts the head of his cock inside my entrance, to which I scream squeezing his shoulder. He goes back to kiss my clavicles while going on until he bottoms out. Feeling his tip against my spongy point, the deepest part of my cunt, makes me forget about all of the doubts I have, and I already know that the second I wake up tomorrow, I will be calling the company and ask for them to meet again.
He doesn’t give me time to get used to his big size, and starts moving immediately after he bottoms out, at a savage pace that makes my head spin. The way he’s hitting my cervix strongly over and over again has me cumming after less than two or three minutes. He doesn’t stop there though, and doesn’t even slow down. The second orgasm comes after maybe five minutes more, much more intense and piercing. My legs tremble, and he chuckles while taking my other leg and lifting it up to my chest also, making his cock go even deeper.
He holds both my legs up with one hand while the other stimulates my clitoris in circular motion, nonstoping, without giving me time to recover.
I cum once again, and my whole body feels so tense I feel like I'm about to break.
“Gyu-yu, I can’t anymore” I cry, the tears spilling from the corner of my eyes as I take his shoulders, trying to move his body away from mine. “please”
“I know, sweet, but you’re gonna help me cum too, right? You’re not a selfish princess, right?” His face is not close to mine now, and my legs find their way on his shoulders while he prepares himself for fucking my cunt faster and stronger than before.
I squeeze the silk of the couch, while my tears run down my face and all over the couch, and I scream his name over and over. His pace becoming even more animalistic as I feel his cock twitch inside of my vagina, the heat inside of me making me feel like I’m about to be torn there and then. The feeling is so unbearable, but also addictive. At this point, I don’t even understand myself.
He cums inside of me with a guttural growl, and keeps fucking his cum in for some seconds before using his hand to try to put his cum in when it tries to escape. I cum on his fingers one last time, and he leaves a kiss on my forehead.
(…)
I fix my lanyard with my work ID on my neck, holding my drawing tablet and the handmade sketches I’ve made.
“Oh, see! There’s coffee over there!” Beomgyu says amazed.
“Every company has coffee for workers, Gyu”
He goes to get a cup while I look for the office. The boss asked me to meet her once I accepted working with her. I signed the contract a week ago after making her accept the clause of letting my opinion be the most important one over there.
“Oh, Seoli!” That voice… it’s just impossible to forget it. “Oh my god, I’m so excited to see you again! Ever since high school I knew you were gonna succeed, you’re so talented!”
We went to high school together, and after we graduated, we also went to the same college. She stuck to me since then, but I never liked her a lot. She wasn’t a bad person, I just didn’t match her energy. However, I did everything I could in order to separate her from me in college, right after I realized Beomgyu liked her. Beomgyu and I met at college—the three of us decided to study an art major—, and it took us only one semester to start living together as roommates, and two more months to start working together on the animation of my books. We left college so we could put all of our time on making money with the animations, and luckily, that was enough for Beomgyu to forget her. At least that was what I thought.
“Dami? Do you work here?” I ask.
“Kind of. My mother is the owner of this company, and she likes me to participate on all of the projects. We’re gonna be a team! Just like in college!” She says with a big smile. “Where’s Beomgyu, by the way?”
Everything makes sense suddenly, why did he get so excited when I received the invitation to this company, and why was he so eager for me to come, and why did he want me to stay here.
I turn around slowly, and as soon as I find him with a scared expression, I feel my eyes ache.
He fucked me so he could get a chance with the one girl he likes.
How dumb.
#purrplegyuu#beomgyu smut#txt smut#beomgyu overstimulation#choi beomgyu smut#tomorrow by together | purrplegyuu#beomgyu soft dom#toxic beomgyu#tw: gaslighting#kpop smut#the best for both of us | beomgyu
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Platonic yandere Vile Faculty:
Countess Cleo:
For The Countess to take notice of you and to start to care for you, you would probably have to be a somewhat classy and reserved student. She likes the students who don’t interrupt or ask too many questions during her lectures, after all it is very rude to interrupt someone who’s talking. If you do that and try your best in her classes you will certainly gain her favor (and favoritism).
Her signs of affection may start of small, things like a small but genuine smile when you answer correctly, asking you to stay after class and to your surprise offering you some tea and biscuits while the two of you talk, helping you discreetly when you're having trouble figuring out the answer.
If someone were to call her out on this behavior she would scoff at them and deny it until the very end. ‘Me playing favorites? Oh don’t be ridiculous!’ She would say angrily as she storms off to have some tea/wine with you while she rants about the “foolish” claims that are being said about her.
As things go by you will start to receive hand sewn clothes of the most expensive material known to man sewn and put together by the countess herself as well as a bunch of stolen jewelry regardless of your gender.
She also invites you to all her expensive dinner parties with ‘the rich and famous’ where you’ll be seated right next to her. If you ever were to decline an invitation no matter how politely she would act like you’d just told her that you hate her and that she can fuck of and die.
Coach Brunt:
Good fucking luck with her no matter what she says anyone can see that she is definitely NOT over Black Sheep. She is so overprotective and paranoid that you might leave like Black Sheep did. Expect a lot of smothering and attention from her, she will helicopter parent you to death and infantilize you. Although not intentionally she fully believes that what she is doing is normal and necessary. Trying to protest or argue with her over this will be waived off as nothing but ‘a fuzzy child tantrum’. There’s no way to argue with this woman and most people don’t try for that long since her patience is far from long. Since she is basically a PE teacher she has a habit of keeping an eye on your diet and somehow always thinks that you’re eating too little or that you're malnourished, she will force feed you if she sees fit.
Unlike Countess Cleo she plays favorites a lot and doesn’t try to hide it at all. Why would she? After all you’re the perfect little child and student (doesn’t matter how old you are she still sees you as a kid). Just don’t try to leave Vile and go along with what she wants and you’ll be fine but if you don’t then well…Don’t act surprised when you wake up in a room with cameras all around and your ankle chained to a bed with Brunt crying next to you asking what she did that would make you want to leave. Well no matter cause you’ll never get that chance ever again. Sucks to be you I guess.
Professor Maelstrom:
Maelstrom would be a very tricky and difficult platonic yandere to have on your tail. Nobody, not even himself, could explain why he started taking an interest in you either way he is aware of his obsession and accepts it wholeheartedly. He is a very secretive and manipulative man who can and will twist and warp your perception of the world or yourself. He somehow seems to know all of your inner workings and feelings. You could tell him that you like apples and he would go into detail on how that is connected to your childhood trauma/other issues, and the worst part is that he gets almost if not everything right about you. That of course creeps you the fuck out, which he notices and becomes absolutely delighted by.
This man is the inventor of gaslighting and manipulation if you ever even think about wanting to leave Vile he will know and gaslight the fuck out of you, imagine Mother Gothel from tangled but ten times worse. My thoughts and prayers are with you, you're going to need them when dealing with him as a platonic yandere .
Dr Bellum:
Saira would love a chaotic but smart student, all it takes is a few conversations and she’s already decided ‘Yep this is now my child I will teach them all about explosives and biological war crimes’. You and her would be an absolute force to be reckoned with and when you're not planning the most diabolical evil shit ever she’s showing you a bunch of funny videos of cats. She’s like a mom coming up to you and showing you facebook memes of minions but it’s cats instead.
She isn’t too obvious in her favoritism but she doesn’t try to hide it at all. If someone were to ask her if she had any favorite students she would say yes and then tell them all about how brilliant you are without any shame or hesitation. In her eyes there’s nothing wrong with playing favorites.
She no doubt has at least one drone following you around at all times just to keep an eye on you or she’s watching you from the security cameras all over campus. If you were to ask her about it she would lie and say that she’s working on a behavioral study but would refuse to give you any more details.
Please comment if you would like for me to write about having them all as platonic yanderes at the same time or if you would like for me to write about some other characters!
#carmen sandeigo 2019#coach brunt#countess cleo#dr bellum#professor maelstrom#carmen sandiego#platonic yandere#platonic#vile faculty
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“What are you waiting for?”
“Shut up!”
“…Why it had to be you?”
Day 4: Superhero x Villain - Law x Ichiji
In short, superhero “Sora the warrior of the sea”-Law falls in love with Ichiji Vinsmoke, not knowing that he also has a secret identity as villain Sparking Red. Eventually Law found out but decided to continue the relationship because he can’t bring himself to leave him. Until Ichiji (during a particularly rough fight) discovers the identity of his nemesis but, heartbroken, he can’t kill him because for the first time in a very long time he found himself scared to loose someone.
For more lore (aka the whole plot that I made up in my head around the prompt)👇👇
Trafalgar Law’s life finally seemed figured out: at 26 he has a stable and fulfilling work as a surgeon in the city’s main hospital, a group of friends that care about him dearly and sometimes even some night out with an occasional date. Everything was fine, even nice, until one night a badly injured man arrives at the urgent care of the hospital claiming to be Sora the warrior of the sea, the most powerful superhero of the area. Law (a big fan of him) doesn’t initially believe him until the man gives him a strange key and an address and tells him that someone has to take his place, just to die soon after. At first Law doesn’t really think about it but after the rumors of Sora disappearance he goes at the address and with the key he unlocks Sora’s secret lair, finally understanding that the the superhero is now dead and practically shoved his duty as protector of the city to him. Law thinks “I know a lot about him ((nerd behavior)), and it can’t be to difficult to wear a suit and fight some criminals, and I can’t leave the city unprotected, no?” So he decides to take Sora’s role and, after some initial difficulties, he starts to enjoy this double life, but with the intention of finding someone more suited to the role to take his place.
At the same time he becomes a usual in a new cafe where he meets a handsome blond man elegantly dressed, with whom everyday has a little chat. With a new found confidence, brought by being a superhero generally liked by the majority of the city’s citizens, he asks him out. He is Ichiji Vinsmoke, a young and successful lawyer from a powerful family ((damn Law you hit the jackpot)). They slowly fall for each other and start an official relationship some time later. But around the same time a group of super villains returns to the city, after Sora defeated them a year ago. They are Germa 66, and mostly work as mercenaries for powerful men who don’t want to get their own hands dirty. Law of course tries to stop them, but they are more powerful than the typical robbers he had to deal with until now. Poison Pink is subtly dangerous with her poisons, Winch Green is physically strong and has a long range and Dengeki Blue’s electricity powers are particularly insidious. But the worst is the leader, Sparking Red, because not only he is the most powerful and cruel of them, but he is also very familiar. Behind the funky red hair and the dark sunglasses his voice and appearance are unmistakably the one of his boyfriend Ichiji.
Law is afflicted, at first he doesn’t accept it but the evidences are undeniable and he doesn’t know what to do: Sparking Red and Ichiji personalities are similar in some ways, but where the former taunts him and fights without holding himself back, the latter is kind and loving with him. And Law starts to understand that he really, like really loves him and can’t help but want to be stay with him. He starts to search Ichiji in Sparking Red, and Sparking Red in Ichiji, which isn’t very healthy for a relationship. And Ichiji starts to have suspicions too for his boyfriend strange habits (that he sort of recognizes for having himself a secret identity). He knows that the Sora of the present isn’t the same person of a year ago, but he doesn’t even imagine what the truth is.
So, one day they have a particular violent fight and Sora-Law looses his helmet (that hides his face), and just when Sparking Red is ready to finish him he recognizes Law. And from Law’s expression he understands that the other knew. He finds himself heartbroken in a way the didn’t know he could be. Even when he didn’t wear the suit he wasn’t a very emotional available person, but with Law was different. He thought to have finally found a sort of safe place, far from Sparking Red, the identity that his father made him grow up with for his own benefits, modifying Ichiji’s and his brothers bodies and using violence when they tried to refuse his orders for all their life. So, now that Sparking Red has the order to kill Sora, Ichiji just can’t do it. But he also feels betrayed by Law, and can’t forgive him despite loving him still (thing that he isn’t really programmed to feel in the first place).
SO, the conclusion? Very hard times for them both trying to communicate (they aren’t very good at it) and continue their roles as enemies but also as lovers. But when things start to be even more complicated for them, as Ichiji’s father discovers what is happening to his theoretically perfect son, Ichiji and Law will have to face difficult decisions to remain together and keep the city and their loved ones safe. (Spoiler at the end Judge is dead the Vinsmoke siblings are free and they stay together happy and very much in love)
I love writing detailed plots that will never be an actual fanfics, like see my vision but don’t expect a full story because I can’t actually write it.
#vinshippingweek2024#one piece#germa 66#vinsmoke brothers#vinsmoke ichiji#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#ichilaw#sorry for eventual grammar mistakes
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Rubies
Asking
“Aegre fero” here has a double meaning of “I’m sorry” and “It hurts”. Taking some license with the Latin I think. Forgive me.
(Content: living weapon whumpee, comfort!!!, crying, past trauma, conditioning, malnutrition mention, emotional whump, abuse mention, rocky recovery)
=========
Apollo readjusted the dials on the old receiver. He clicked in between the channels of the small device, listening in as best he could through the static. The sheer range of Galatea’s radio always impressed him.
“-off the Western side now, escalating-“
“-running out of provisions! Just a reminder-“
“-tell Contra if she doesn’t fix her damn-“
“-worst summer in years, but not like-“
“-does anyone not need their kidney-“
Delta came out of his room, slipping quietly out into the hall. His short hair was hard to get used to. It was actually kind of curly when it wasn’t weighed down. Apollo thought it was cute. His expression was totally unreadable, but that was about typical for him.
“Hey.” Apollo pulled one of the earbuds out. He didn’t move much beyond that. Delta had gotten comfortable enough that he didn’t feel the need to fuss after him nor the impulse to coax him out of hiding. It’d be better to stay still, not spook him too much.
Delta skirted the edge of the couch carefully and knelt down onto the carpet. He folded his arms on the cushion, resting his head down on top of them. It hid his face. Apollo took out the other earbud, leaning forward.
“You okay, bud?” Apollo’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. Delta hadn’t knelt for him in a while. He’d thought that he was getting out of the habit. Delta nodded, his face still buried in the cushion. Not speaking, but that was also to be expected.
“Do you want to sit up here?” Apollo offered, just in case he needed to be reminded that he was allowed to. He shook his head for no.
“…Okay. Let me know if you need anything, alright?” He only put one earbud back in. Delta spoke so softly, he didn’t want to miss it. He wasn’t going to force him to talk about it, if there was anything to talk about at all. Delta needed to do what made him feel safe. As odd as the behavior seemed to him, he wasn’t going to correct it.
He turned his attention back to the radio, but kept his sights on Delta to see if there was any change. His eyes widened as he noticed the small hitches along his shoulders. He was definitely crying.
“Hey, hey.” Apollo put the radio aside on the couch, sliding down onto the floor. He touched Delta’s arm lightly, “C’mere.”
It was all the invitation he needed. Delta shifted off of the couch and into Apollo’s arms, burying his face in his chest. Small sobs wracked his body. Apollo was surprised at how silent he was being in spite of this. He made shushing noises reflexively, even though there was no sound. He felt the fabric of his shirt marginally tighten as Delta gripped it.
“Aegre fero.” Delta’s voice wavered. It was only when he spoke that Apollo could hear just how much trouble he was having breathing. He carded his hands through his hair.
“It’s okay. Deep breaths, yeah? Four-seven-eight,” he said. Delta knew how. Apollo had caught him doing them alone before, unprompted. He was clearly used to being the only one to calm himself down. Apollo’s heart ached at the thought of him sitting up whenever they had kept him, forcing himself stable for somebody else’s sake. Still, he slowed his breathing, picking up the pattern. From where Delta was curled into his chest, he should’ve been able to hear it well. His shoulder blades gradually steadied. The shaking stopped. He didn’t let go.
“Do you…like when I play with your hair?” Apollo’s hands stilled. He realized he’d never actually gotten permission to touch it. He probably should have. Delta nodded slowly. His face was still hidden. Apollo continued to run his hands through it. It was very soft — and seemed to be a lot healthier than it had been when they’d first picked him up. He was proud of that, the way the malnutrition symptoms were gradually fading. He had missed cooking for people.
It took a while before Delta would pull away. His face was flushed when he did, eyes bleary. He looked down like he was ashamed. Apollo patted the couch cushion.
“Sit up, sweetheart.”
Delta climbed onto the couch, pulling his legs up to his chest. He was always more responsive when given direct orders. Apollo didn’t want to force him, but honestly, his joints couldn’t take any more time on the floor. He stood up himself, disappearing briefly to retrieve a cup of water. He brought back the burner phone too, passing both of them to Delta.
~
It was mortifying. When had he ever cried? He could count on one hand the number of times he had done it over the last two years. On two hands, he could count the last decade. Now it was like he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t supposed to behave like this. He had learned, so early on, that he was not supposed to behave like this.
It had felt so nice to be held for a second.
Mortifying.
Apollo sat back down on the couch and opened the IRC program. The burner phone buzzed in Delta’s hand. He unlocked it.
sunspot: Hey
nodiving: hi
nodiving: sorry
sunspot: Do you want to talk about it?
nodiving: i dont know
nodiving: i dont know whats wrong with me
nodiving: im not supposed to be like this
sunspot: Be like what?
nodiving: pathetic
sunspot: Why do you think it’s pathetic?
nodiving: because it is
“That’s circular logic,” Apollo said aloud. Delta typed faster.
nodiving: im not supposed to need anything and i usually dont
nodiving: now i have to keep bothering you for everything even things that dont matter
nodiving: im sorry
He began to type something else, but couldn’t bring himself to. He knew he should be punished for it. For having the audacity to even take notice of the emotion, let alone make it someone else’s problem. He should’ve just stayed in his room until it passed.
sunspot: Everyone needs things.
sunspot: I’ve been telling you this entire time to please come to me if you need anything
sunspot: Thank you for trusting me enough to take me up on that
Delta blushed, his fingers idle about the device. Apollo looked him up and down.
“When you say ‘things that don’t matter’,” he ventured cautiously, “You mean your own feelings?”
Feelings. The word itself sounded childish to him. He was supposed to be above it, as cold and mechanical as they’d trained him to be. But his skin was still damp where he’d been crying. It was a little late for that.
He nodded. Apollo couldn’t be mad at him for it; Delta already acknowledged their own worthlessness. It wasn’t a lie.
“Okay,” Apollo said softly, “I understand why you would think that. Nobody’s had much regard for them throughout your life. But it’s not true. Your feelings do matter. It was wrong for anybody to make you feel like they didn’t.”
No they don’t. Delta hid his face in his hands. He shouldn’t need this. He recoiled from the words as if they had burned him. No they don’t.
“I know you might not believe me right now. That’s okay. I’m still really proud of you for coming to me with this instead of trying to deal with it alone. Even if you think it’s not important, I still want to know what you’re feeling. It matters to me.”
Awful.
“Delta?”
“Yes, sir.” He nodded, showing he had heard. Not that he agreed, just that he’d heard.
Apollo paused while he caught his breath. It took a lot of effort to try and recover from what he’d just said. It still burned.
“Do you want to try?” Apollo encouraged.
Delta nodded, picking the phone back up. He typed slowly and decisively.
nodiving: nothing caused it
nodiving: im just sad
“Thank you. That’s a really good start, Delta. I know you’re not…used to talking. So maybe you don’t have all the vocabulary you need for it right now?”
Delta’s eyes narrowed at that, the mention of vocabulary. He wasn’t stupid. He read books.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you’re smart.” Apollo raised his hands in mock surrender. “Your technical skill is advanced. You’re great at arguing. I know. All I’m saying is that you probably don’t have a lot of practice talking about this kind of thing. It might be difficult at first. And that has nothing to do with your intellect.”
That was objectively true. He had no idea what to describe what was happening to him, not with all the words he knew. He thought of the one that had shocked him most when they first suggested it. Abuse. He knew the definition. He did not see how it could slot into his life. Many of the words they used triggered that same uneasy feeling in him. Chess-piece. Feelings. Love.
Most days, he could barely talk at all.
“I’m...gonna get you some CBT workbooks or something. We can work on it more later. Is there anything you need for right now though? Anything that normally helps?”
He didn’t know anything that would help. He’d never felt like this before. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was receding. The mood had passed.
He realized that crying might’ve helped. Touch. Talking. All the things he’d never been allowed before. All the things he thought he didn’t need.
Mortifying.
…………
tags:
@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire
@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety
#IF WE WANT THE REWARDS OF BEING LOVED...#whump#whump community#whump scenario#whump prompt#living weapon whumpee#whump writing#hurt/comfort#comfort#crying#past trauma#conditioning#malnutrition mention#emotional whump#abuse mention#recovery#recovery whump#rocky recovery#i like writing apollo! i know he isnt as interesting as the other characters but that’s actually why i like him#hes very understated and hes good at playing the straight man when he’s surrounded by insane people#hes like kermit the frog. to me#rubies#delta#apollo
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