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damndroid · 4 months ago

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Tr@nny Campers (A Trans Moxxie HC)

(preface: I'm transfem. No, I don't think moxxie is trans because he's effeminate or because he crossdresses. No, I don't think Moxxie is intended to be canonically trans. Honestly, I'm not sure if I would even trust vivzie or the HB crew to intentionally depict thethings about Moxxie that I find the most compellingly trans-coded, so I don't even really want him to be made trans in canon. Anyway,) Happy Campers is a weird episode. A lot of people say that they hate the episode because Moxxie acts like a HUGE asshole in a way that's completely out of character.

And it is out of character! Moxxie is consistently an adoring, supportive, doting husband to Millie. It doesn't really make sense that he would be upset with her for getting all the attention from a bunch of random human tweens. He does have some insecurity issues, and he does seem pretty comfortable being the center of attention. Maybe the failure of his plan pokes at his insecurity in a way that makes being sidelined by Millie hit extra hard. But wait, what exactly is his plan?

Moxxie likes to do things by the book, so he wants to gather information and sherlock out the murderer among the campers. This makes sense. Disguises as a way to blend in and gather intel? Sure! Seems logical. Swapped genders? Classic Moxxie stuff. But then things get a little weird. Moxxie quickly becomes obsessed with socially integrating among the campers (as Moxxine), particularly the 'popular girls'. His initial failure only seems to make him more stubbornly determined. He ignores obvious leads and clues to focus on this task. If his pride is on the line with this plan because this is his first time leading a mission, why does he get so sidetracked by this? I read this as Moxxie going in with a reasonable plan and then being absolutely destroyed by gender dysphoria he didn't anticipate and doesn't really understand. This then also gets caught up in Moxxie's pride about the job. Most of the rest of the episode isn't about him trying to solve the case. It's about Moxxine trying to be seen as Moxxine.

It makes sense in particular that a nerdy, awkward transfem might reach for the 'popular girl' archetype when taking her first, trembling steps into womanhood. It's a distinctly feminine power fantasy, not just of successful performance of womanhood, but of a performance so accepted and adored that it bequeaths broad social power and safety.

A lot of the horror of early transition for a lot of transfems is that femininity in our culture is primarily valued as an object of desire, so a lot of gender euphoria can only be accessed through objectifying yourself: you must be seen as a woman to be desired as one and you must be desired as a woman to hold value (or so the demons tormenting you say). Gender and transition are very much about being Seen (tm), but this is particularly and painfully true for transfems.

With this in mind, Moxxine's behavior starts to make sense. She's being a selfish asshole because she doesn't feel Seen, and until now she didn't even know that she wanted to be Seen in that way, so she doesn't know how to cope. This kind of messiness is something that's often missing from Good Representation (tm) of trans women. For example, take a look at Sallie May.

She's solidified in her womanhood. She's confident, beautiful, and seemingly effortlessly feminine, even while engaging in masculine behaviors like hog wrasslin' or refusing to bathe. This makes her a potent power fantasy for transfems (including me, god I love her so much and i am not normal about her being canonically smelly), but this is only because it's a depiction that doesn't touch on the darker, messier parts of transition. Sallie May already reinvented herself, but that's hard and it takes a long time! And while you're reinventing yourself, you're scared and sensitive and probably don't instantly have the coping strategies in place to handle those feelings. Watching Happy Campers almost makes me cry. It makes me want to hold Moxxine and tell her everything's going to be ok. It also makes me REALLY want an animated short where Sallie May and Moxxie hang out. I'm imagining Moxxie being a lil' akwardly obsessed with Sallie May and her transition, which leads to Moxxie saying a bunch of r/Eggy_Memes shit and Sallie just looking at him like

and afterwards calling Millie like "Ok sis we have GOT to talk about your husband."

#helluva boss #trans #moxxie #millie #sallie may

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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 years ago

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Man-sized Part 2/9 After Dark

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!OC

Tags: Explicit content, +18 audiences only. Smut, romantic angst, fluff. An unapologetic LOVE STORY. Sexual tension, mutual pining, banter, flirting, developing relationship, strangers to lovers. Simon Riley has a dark past (partly inspired by Modern Warfare 2: Ghost comics).

CW/TW: References to PTSD, depression, past torture and abuse in later chapters.

Summary: A uni student who pole dances at a strip club to pay her rent encounters a mysterious giant of a soldier seemingly incapable of falling in love.

A/N: Can be read as a Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!reader. Little to nil description, the OC has a name.

She didn't usually do this.

Bring guys to her apartment after a few giggles. She especially did not bring guys like Simon "I kill people" back home to fuck.

It was her night time self. Her show belonged into a different realm. And that was okay. Everybody had a dark side, and she just... worked with hers in this way.

When people asked about her job, she told them she was a dancer. If they asked more, she told them she taught pole dance lessons. Only a handful of her most trusted friends knew that she danced at a strip club. Danced: she was a dancer, not a stripper. Pole dancing required minimal amount of clothing so that tricks could be performed safely and efficiently. She viewed her job as an opportunity to hone her skills and have a workout after her studies. And it paid the bills. She called it a win-win situation.

Simon belonged to the nighttime world too.

And what happened after dark just had to happen at some point, she figured.

But it turned out that Simon wasn't just a tall, dark stranger who fucked women and killed people.

He was also a lover.

She supposed that he was good at fucking, too, but he seemed to hold back from that this night, with her, at least. She didn't really know what to think of it. She thought he had brought her here – to her apartment – to be fucked. Because that's how it was; he called the shots, not she.

Her clothes were gone as soon as they entered the darkness that was her bedroom. Not a single garment had left his body, other than those big, black shoes that were now in her hallway, somewhere amidst all the girl shoes. Huge hands ran down her back and cupped her ass before she could turn on the lights, they raised her to his lap as he carried her to the bed.

He was a good kisser, and he kissed her all over. She was left with her panties and an icy terror in her stomach as he continued to explore her body with his mouth. She was still not over the fact that he was a cocky stranger who had gotten her into this situation just by pouring honeyed rum in her ear.

In other words, she had fallen for bullshit.

"What's wrong, dove?"

He wasn't stupid, though. He noticed that she was a bit tense, a tad uncomfortable. As much as she wanted to let him do whatever he wanted with her, the prospect of seeing him leave after he was done was a turn-off. In horror, she realized that she wanted to get to know him, wanted to get to know Simon.

"You afraid of me?"

She supposed he would probably get kicks out of it if she said yes.

"Should I be?"

"No. Just here to make ya feel good."

He continued to kiss her, took her breast inside one of those huge palms. She wasn't a small woman, the muscles in her back, shoulders, forearms and stomach might've been a bit too much for some guys. But they weren't for Simon. She felt like a delicate, feminine flower with him, and it was scary: how her breast nearly disappeared inside that warm and calloused hand – of course it was calloused, so much so that the callouses scratched her skin – and when he licked her, she tried to hold on to her sanity for a little while longer.

"What's your last name?"

He huffed a short laugh on her stomach, and her muscles contracted at the hot air suddenly hitting her skin.

"Is that what you wanna know right now?"

When she wouldn't answer, he continued kissing her, went down, even further down…

"Riley."

The name was whispered, short and sweet, against her soaked panties.

"What do we have here…"

She could only swallow and let him take that last bit of shielding fabric away. She hadn't expected this at all: that he would come to her apartment to adore her. That he would go down on her. At this very moment, it felt too intimate, too much from a guy whose name she barely knew. She had come to know him for months and months through his stare only, but now he was here, in her bedroom, between her thighs… he was real.

"I…"

"Yes, love?"

Calling her love already… It was a bit too tacky. But then again, she guessed she did kind of like it because it made her even more wet.

"Could you take your clothes off too?"

This time, he laughed like someone who found the situation greatly entertaining, and her… adorable?

"You never cease to amuse me."

What will happen when I cease to amuse you?

"You always fuck with your clothes on?"

That did something to him. He almost froze, then proceeded to take those goddamn clothes off.

She had ruined the soft, sensual mood, but it was okay, or so she told herself. She wanted to tear down this setting, the scenes that only rubbed it in her face that this was a one time only occasion before Simon would find another girl to obsess about. If he didn't have a girl in every town already...

"No nonsense with you, is that it?" He commented - the mood had definitely changed. "I like it."

The silk gloves were off with the rest of his actual clothes, and this time, when he positioned himself between her legs, it was to guide his erection in.

It was dark in the room, but she could see enough — after all, there was never a complete darkness to be had in the city. The blue-colored light filled the night and showed her that Simon was big.

No, that's not gonna…

He pushed just the tip in, and a needy groan escaped her lips.

"Yeah… I think you like me too."

He was so fucking cocky… Even and especially when his actual cock was inside her, with more and more pushing in by the minute.

She brushed her fingers along the lines of all that muscle, first his shoulder, then the forearm… the skulls and bombs and death. And she was wet, alright. Didn't know if she had ever been this wet for anyone. It was fucking frightening.

"That's a good girl…"

No, not the good girl talk, Jesus…

But she couldn't deny it: it worked. Everything he did, worked like a charm.

His balls touched her as he slid fully in... and stayed there.

The intimacy was unbearable, the stranger was inside her, and she could feel every inch of him. He was hovering above her, looking at her like "Ya feel that? Ya feel it too?"

But she must only be imagining; this wasn't real — a man like him couldn't hold such a sea of emotion in him. He was… a what, a soldier? A killer? There was nothing romantic here. They had met at a strip club.

And what was she to a killer… an exotic dancer, a uni student who barely had her life together, who paid her bills days after the due date.

"Don't flee from it."

She raised her eyes back to his and found that he was examining her. Those eyes now revealed much more than just dark, melting chocolate; they looked like they had seen too much. She briefly thought about whether the man was skilled in torture; if he was skilled at breaking his enemies and if he could hear their thoughts as he broke them. Could hear her thoughts...

"Sarah.. Come back."

Her inner muscles tightened around him, and he reacted instantly. "That's it...- good girl."

No one had ever talked to her like that... And she didn't even want to slap him for it. She followed his voice and was courageous enough to wrap her legs around him, that narrow waist that still managed to be bulky and broad, like everything in him was. He finally started the rodeo, which turned out to be the most sensual fuck she had ever had the privilege to receive.

It was like he fucked her soul or something.

Her lips were quivering, the moans he pulled out from her could've made Nicki Minaj blush. He was thorough, precise, and attentive — traits of a good soldier, she presumed. And he must've been some kind of a leader, the way he cheered her on like a highly ranked officer, a widely respected superior.

"Looking gorgeous," the rough voice washed all over her as she was approaching her orgasm. No one had ever made her come with cock alone. She assumed it was just the months and months of tension that was at work here, but some part of her knew that it was just pure, undiluted Simon Riley who she had to blame for it.

"Eyes up here," he commanded when she was only seconds away from a breakdown. Eyes up here... He talked to her like she was a soldier about to die, and he wouldn't let it happen, not on his watch. But it was a small death and a coming back to life as well: she broke for him so hard that he hissed as she dug her nails into his arms. An invisible string lifted her from her sternum, made her arch her back as she came, screaming, and the eyes held her, beheld her: amused, pleased... He was performing an exorcism on her, waking her from a year-long coma, restarting her heart with electric shocks.

She half expected him to praise her with that sultry good girl stuff again when she was in that vulnerable state, but he bent towards her and went for her mouth. He drank the rest of the orgasm from her lips, almost suffocated her with his kiss as she convulsed beneath him, and he wouldn't stop… he made love to her as she moaned on his tongue, and the thickness continued to fill her slowly as she came down from that life-saving orgasm. By the time he left her mouth, she was panting and squeezing the grinding hips with her hands, sinking her nails in there as well.

"I knew you were a wild one," he whispered against her lips. "That was almost as good as that little slap..."

She couldn't speak, could only catch for air at what Simon had said before he dived for her mouth again. The bed was moaning too under the heavy weight of her mercenary lover, especially when he upped the pace.

"I'm close too," he broke another kiss, slightly panting. "Where do ya want me?"

"Don't pull out..."

He gathered her thighs, lifted them to his shoulders like they weighed nothing, drove deep, so deep that his pelvis touched her and his whole upper body rubbed against her, and all she could feel was muscle. All she could smell was tobacco and hints of scotch and something which she reluctantly labeled as primal. It was his sweat and pheromones and all the tension that came undone as he came inside her. She heard an abrupt grunt that turned into a hoarse, shaky moan... and that earlier, unemotional declaration "I kill people" still echoed in her head.

---

She saw the scars in the morning when he got up and went to the shower. She had thought he was a torturer, but it looked like he was the one who had been tortured sometime in the past.

The white protrusions on his skin were evenly inflicted and in places that were not supposed to end a man but simply give him pain. She didn't know why exactly had she refused to believe him, to believe that his work was something highly unusual. The scars finally rubbed it in her face: this was not a regular, normal dude she was dealing with. He did not work as a desk officer in the military or even as a pro fighter in the combat sports business.

She was both fascinated and disturbed at the thought that Simon likely had invisible injuries too, a collection of scars on his psyche.

"You want a towel?"

It somehow grieved her that he wanted to wash her scent – their scent – away so soon, even if it was a simple, natural thing to do… to shower in the morning. He didn't answer, but when she went to give it to him nevertheless, it suffered the same fate as those flowers as he pulled her under the descending water with him.

The second round was more of a sloppy, dazed fuck. He took her against the wall, and she briefly thought that she would get a huge water bill next month. But it was worth every cent. She didn't come, but enjoyed watching him, now in a fully lit room with half-lidded eyes and a slightly open mouth. He even had a scar on his jaw...

"You're… tight, did'ya know that?"

She was still not over the fact that he talked like this during sex. He was almost chatty when at the bar he had barely spoken full sentences. She never knew dirty talk could be so stimulating.

Or perhaps it was just the magic of Simon Riley again.

"Why so serious?"

She laughed a little — Simon made her laugh. If anything, it was he who could be called serious, even with that dry, dark sense of humour.

"Don't know what to make of you."

"You're not the most open book yourself," he muttered, and she barely detected the hint of sorrow �� yearning, in his voice.

He eventually came with an agonized, tired grunt. He seemed to be in a hurry, and when he pulled out and reached his hand to satisfy her as well, she grabbed him by the wrist and gently pushed it away. Simon sighed, and dropped his head against hers while the bulky shoulders closed in on her like walls. The water was running, and he was clearly having a moment, even though it was just supposed to be a quick fuck.

Hesitating, she reached to give him a hug, then started to slowly caress his back as he leaned his head on the wall and against her. His breathing only deepened. He sounded like someone who was taking a cold bath while trying to maintain a controlled breath. At some point, it almost sounded like he was in pain.

"Am I your pet?" He asked rather gruffly, and her hand stopped midway down his back.

"You don't like being touched?"

He nuzzled closer to her neck, placed a kiss behind her ear.

"Perhaps a little too much."

He then surprised her by giving her a wash. Like she was his pet. Perhaps it was his reaction to having shown vulnerable parts of himself to someone, even if what they had shared was just simple human connection. She relaxed a little too much under his touch, which was again deliciously attentive.

"The things I'd do to you if we had more time.."

He was crouching and the soap on her legs eased his caresses, but when he stopped for a while to give her a kiss there, she recoiled from him. It was simply out of surprise, because his hands and the warm water had left her drowsy and melting, but he rose and gave her another look. Simon clearly wasn't used to women refusing him, not to talk of shrinking from his touch.

When they came from the shower, she went straight to the kitchen. While searching for something to offer him as breakfast, she noticed that Simon was examining the course material on her desk.

Art history major and a professional killer — what a hilarious pair.

But he seemed more than interested, almost intrigued. He skimmed through a certain book about studies on the influence of natural philosophy on the Renaissance. The man might surprise her yet, but still, she couldn't see them chatting about Erwin Panofsky over a cup of coffee.

"You want some?"

She was standing there with only a towel on, holding a coffee pan in her hand: far too domestic a setting, and far too soon.

"Nah, gotta go."

Heaven came down in just three words.

Yeah… of course you do.

She abandoned her mission with the coffee and went to get her clothes, to have some kind of protection against the cold Simon would leave her with.

"Will I be seeing you again?"

"If you want to."

Polite, reserved... A gentleman instead of a no-nonsense soldier who would say it like it was. She could see now that he was definitely in a hurry.

"Can I call you?" She tried to flesh out a future for them and not think about the fact that she would, very likely, only have a ghost of him as a memory.

"I'd rather call you."

Right. I'm not seeing this guy again.

"Sure, whatever."

She gave him her number and watched how he walked out of the door and out of her life.

---

You wanted to know what I do for a living.

Holy Mother of…

Not only did he contact her, he sent her a picture of himself looking like… like war. The tired eyes stared at her from inside what looked like the top of a human skull attached to a black balaclava. He wasn't a foot soldier, or a mercenary, he wasn't even working for the UK version of a SWAT team. He was something else. She didn't even have a name for all the gear he was loaded with.

Still want to see me?

Fucking d.e.f.i.n.i.t.e.l.y.

She hadn't expected to see him ever again. She was sure he had asked her number just out of common courtesy. The chemistry was there, but the eventual sex had been awkward — satisyfying, and life saving, but awkward. She didn't really do one night stands, and Simon had flown into that category as soon as he had shut that door.

But now it seemed that she had to find him a new category. Everybody always said to give the guy three days. That the guy would show up if he wanted to.

It had barely been two days since he had been inside her and checked out what it was that she was studying.

I don't know. Doesn't look like James Bond to me.

I can put on a suit if that's more to your liking.

Hah, yeah… She would masturbate on that picture of him wearing a fucking human skull to work at least a hundred times.

No need.

Are you going to return the favor?

She sent him a picture — a rather naughty one. It wasn't the same kind of naughty she did at the club, no. She was wearing barely a touch of makeup, she was a little sleepy, her walls were down... and the only thing she wore was an oversized t-shirt she lifted just enough for him to see a little bit of something.

A smile rose to her face when he answered immediately.

Shouldn't have asked.

Not Bond girl enough for you?

Just the right amount, Sarah. It's your fault if I get killed.

Part 3:

#ghost x oc #simon riley x oc #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon riley smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost fanfiction #simon riley fanfic #mw2 smut #cod smut #mw2 x reader #my fics

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alicelufenia · 2 months ago

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Having just reblogged this post, which was my contribution to a "FF14 Hyurs are not like typical fantasy humans" thread, I thought I'd follow up by reflecting on my oc Alice's incarnations both the Main Character Incarnate as a Warrior of Light, and the Main Character But That's a Bad Thing Dark Urge from Baldur's Gate 3, and how they're both reflections of where I'm at in life when they came to be. I'll be getting a little personal and speaking entirely as Kaylin, the person behind this blog, so without further delay, I wanna talk about how these seemingly so dissimilar characters remain one in the same to me.

I created Alice in March of 2021, having been playing ffxiv for a year and a half, and was sitting at end game for a full year. While I had the name since October 2019, my Warrior of Light remained a mostly featureless avatar. She was a Miqo'te, then an au ra, and when I finally decided to make her into a fully realized character, one who could embody the role of Warrior of Light but be unabashedly mine, was when I opted to use the last Fantasia I'd actually pop from that time to the present, to make my max sliders chest and muscles, highlander hyur with fiery red hair, freckles, and the pink and blue heterochromia that would be her signature going forward. I made Dark Knight her canon job, and have not seen the need to change a single thing about her.

She's strong, brave, cocksure and sassy, but found it difficult to connect with people, instead constantly striving to be the larger than life hero the world needed, but feeling empty without more personal and vulnerable connections. Small wonder come Endwalker that Zenos is the one to crack that shell, and she now thinks of herself as an adventurer first, hero a distant second, and finally letting herself get close to people, especially the scions who she has accepted as an extended family.

At this point in my life I was just beginning to pull myself out of a depressive spiral that had been festering for years behind my single-minded devotion to work. I had also been 2 years into my gender transition at this point, which made me feel empowered, but unsure of where to go next. I lost a lot of muscle mass due to hrt, and was afraid to try and build it back. I made Alice tall (taller than irl me), muscular, and trans like me, as if to show myself a woman can be feminine while boasting traditionally masculine features.

While a noble effort, it never really motivated me to buff up. Hell, before the pandemic I was considering joining a local HEMA chapter and learn fencing. After lockdown and starting transitioning, seeing the way trans athletes are crushed into dust and humiliated convinced me never to try. I still mourn the loss of a chapter of my life that could have been, but for which I saw, and still see, no hope.

Out comes a little game called Baldur's Gate 3, and I recast Alice anew, this time as a half wood-elf instead of full human, and a Paladin with Shadow Sorcerer levels; my interpretation at the time of a setting-appropriate Dark Knight in Faerûn. Her story wound up very different from the consistently heroic figure that was her ffxiv predecessor, falling in love with Minthara (directly mirroring my growing attraction to older women), becoming an Oathbreaker, struggling with heroism before retaking her oath in pursuit of her partner's ambitions, performing truly heroic feats, and in the end, following through with seizing that Absolute power. Except not really, cause the evil endings weren't added at the time, so concluding with saving the day with everyone getting their best outcomes for the most part. But next playthrough, I made her Dark Urge, and it was only then I felt her character was truly established, and now worse than before for everyone around her.

It's easy to look at both her 14 and bg3 versions and get the impression that they're nothing alike (their alignments are practically in opposition), and in their narratives you're correct; at the end of the day the Warrior of Light doesn't carry as much baggage as the Dark Urge. So was I just trying to be edgy as possible now?

By the time bg3 released, I was mostly finished with my transition, save one last step that would be the biggest decision of my life. By the time I made Alice into the Dark Urge and make her past the most ugly and self-destructive yet, I was already making plans for gender confirming surgery. It was a decision a long time coming, and that sense of dysphoria over not just your body, but what others allow you to do with it, features prominently in Alice's background now, her struggle against Bhaal being equally about resisting the Urge but also asserting her body autonomy. Unlike me, she doesn't have bottom dysphoria, but Bhaal interfering with her transition by making sure she'll be able to "breed many bhaalspawn" shows that all she's valued for is her birth assigned sex; literally, as she was formed wholecloth by Bhaal in his image, and has faught against that since childhood.

I've recently come home from the hospital, the great work I endeavored this whole year finally coming to a head. I got my operation, and I have never been happier. Even if it's the most pain I've been through in my 41 years, even though I had a real scare that I was going to bleed out, naked in a hospital bed, the remnants of my dysphoria finally managing to kill me after all, I endured because of a large team of nurses and surgeons working like hell, while my wife stayed by my side, and I kept up my smile.

Now ten days out from my surgery (a tenday, you might say :p) I'm home recovering, every day the swelling and bruising grows less, and I'm even experiencing real feeling again as the nerves wake up, and everything feels perfect down there. My world has been transformed via a blood sacrifice (literally, I needed 3 transfusions the first 4 days in the hospital) and one hell of a surgeon.

So, other than sharing this extremely personal story, how does it tie into Alice? For me it's a reminder that every version of her has reflected my current fears and self-doubts; that I'm not feminine enough, or too much of a shut in to make friends, or pining for an athletic achievement I lack the spirit to pursue, and right now the fear of being robbed of my chance to destroy my source of dysphoria in the near future unless I do something about it RIGHT NOW.

Given all I've achieved this year, despite how shit it was on a large scale, it's been one of if not the most important in my life. I'm finally getting closure with my transition, and still with months of recovery ahead.

What I also have now, is loads and loads of time at home doing nothing but resting and maintenance on my new body, and now with far less pain than before.

In short, reflecting on all of this, I'm finally ready to write my bg3 fanfic starring Alice the Dark Urge, her someday wife Minthara, and all the companions who stuck with them along the way. I know plenty of people who've been anticipating this. I'm dearly sorry my friends, but after working on myself, I am ready to fill your dms with wips, and someday sooner than later, a proper release of Glory and Shame, my current working title.

Please look forward to it.

@w-low @elissastillstands @trappedinafantasy37 @majorasnightmare this one's for you cuties, and anyone else who's shown interest but I've forgotten to include cause it's late and I should sleep lol

#my writing #glory and shame #not including the fandom tags #this one is for the mutuals and anyone who cares for the words i make #queue

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carnivorous-canine98 · 6 days ago

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OMaW: Introductions Abound -Revised-

I know this story is two years old at this point… but talking with someone I both look up to and considered a good friend, really helped me develop this into a possible series.

@luckyshotwrites I’m, looking at you ;3

For the most part I kept most things the same, changing out a few words here and there. But I did take out some bits to try to rework into the lore I’ve been working on the side with. Anyway… up you enjoy ^^.

Word Count: 3920

Trigger Warnings: Brief mentions of attempted assault, mentions of death/hard vore/digestion and fear play.

This job… I seriously fucking hate it.

But honestly, what could I do about it? Finding a well paying job with a workable schedule as a college student is hard enough. Well, at least some of the women that come into the bar are cute.

Yeah… I spend my evenings working at a pretty well known bar here in the city. Not only that, I seem to be getting a following there as well. I perform every Saturday night live on stage and damn was it something I love.

I smile at the thought to no one in particular as I mix up some drinks for a few of the local patrons. It was hard not to hum to the music that was playing in the background as I worked. Pretty sure the song was "Gimmie, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA.

Unknowingly, I danced along to the song as I handed out orders. Hell, this was such a fun song… I'd just personally change one word in the lyrics.

"Heeeey Astra *hic*," I heard my name being called.

Turning in the direction of where I heard my name from, I gave my usual customer service smile. It was one of the regulars, Jason, I believe his name was. Internally I sighed, not exactly in the mood to be hit on.

Unfortunately, it came with the territory of being a bartender.

"Heya, Jason," I said sweetly. "What can I do for you?"

"Wheenn are you going to perform next? I wanna hear that seeexy voice soon," he slurred, painfully drunk.

It was hard to keep myself from visibly wincing at the comment. I kept that forced smile while I spoke. "I unfortunately can't do it this weekend. I have some personal stuff going on."

"Aww, cooome oooonn," he whined, grabbing my arm. "You're sooo good."

"Again Jason… I can't. I have really important stuff I need to get done," I responded, trying to get his arm off of mine.

"Fuck that!" The drunk man spat, his grip tightening.

A pained yelp rushed past my lips as I tried to pull away. "P-Please let go. Y-You're hurting me…" I whimpered, trying to pull away. His drinking buddies were trying to get him to let go, thank God. But this asshole had a grip like an iron golem.

He spat some incoherent nonsense, grip tightening even more. I let out a sharp cry of pain, tears at the corners of my eyes.

"Hey, fuck face," an annoyed, gruff feminine voice snarled. "Let the girl go. I think it's pretty fucking clear she's busy and not the slightest into you." I glanced over, a few stray tears falling, to see that it was another woman coming to my rescue.

Oh, Oh god damn… this was not what I was expecting.

Before I had even a chance to process my thoughts, a deathly pale hand reached out, removing the man's hand from my arm. There was a strong gentleness about this woman as she pulled the drunk man away from me. It took me a second to gather my surroundings, my cheeks now flushed red as I scrambled away from the bar.

"Oi! You c***, mind your own fucking business," I heard him shout.

The woman was clearly unfazed by this, raising an eyebrow at the comment. "Was that supposed to hurt? Because I've been called worse."

He looked like he was about to swing at her, but she pinned him with ease, pulling his arms behind his back. "Okay… I think you've had enough. Time to go home, jackass," she hissed. With no effort at all, she forced the drunkard out the bar door, giving him a good shove before coming back in.

"You guys aren't going to be causing the little lady any trouble yourselves?" The woman growled at the other man who he was with.

Obviously intimated, they shook their heads, hands up and mumbling something that sounded like it was supposed to be “of course not!”

"Heya, sweets? You okay…?"

It took me a moment to register that she was talking to me. I glanced up and, oh my lord, did my cheeks start to sting… On a scale of one to ten, she was easily an eleven. Thick black hair fell down to her neck, lightly touching her shoulders while also covering her mostly pale face.

And she was built, oh God was she built.

Now that I was able to look her up and down, she was also huge. This woman had to be close to seven feet tall. My cheeks burned ruthlessly as I continued to study her up and down.

"Hey… you good?" She called out again, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah, I'm g-good," I squeaked, now full on blushing."T-Thank you f-for the help m-miss."

"Hey, no problem. Glad to be of service," she purred, giving a wide grin. "Catch you later then, sweets."

She turned to walk away, giving a wink as she left. A squeak escaped past my lips as I forced myself to speak. "B-Bathroom, be r-right back," I stammered, quickly darting away from the counter. God damn my face was on fire. My thoughts were all over the place as I ran to the women's restroom to rinse my face.

It felt like forever as I gripped the edges of the sink, trying to calm down. 'Slow your breathing, close your eyes, and think calming thoughts' came into my mind. Doing just that, it didn't take too long to calm down.

A soft smile formed on my lips as I gave a soft sigh… only to let out a spooked yelp as the bathroom door opened.

"Hey Astra… boss says you can go home early tonight. He also told me that tomorrow's shift is covered and you're free to take the day off."

I glanced over to see it was my coworker Katie. She bore a concerned look on her face as we faced each other. I managed a weak smile, giving a nod. "T-Thanks…" I forced out.

Katie's brows furrowed. "Astra, you good?" She asked?

My cheeks started to burn as my mind once again thought of my savor. "I'm good. I'm good." I said rapidly.

Worry once crept onto Katie's face before she gave an 'Oh, I see.'

My coworker chuckled, giving me a soft smile. "Finally got the hots for someone, I see?" She chuckled. "Either way… you take care and get home safe, okay, Astra?"

All I could manage was a weak laugh and a small smile at what my coworker said. Looking back into the mirror, I continued to blush. "Y-Yeah… she was pretty damn cute. Felt pretty good to have her come to my aid," I murmured as I once again collected myself.

After a few minutes, I left the bathroom and went to gather my things. That stupid smile was still on my face and it was hard to stop. I let a sigh pass my lips as I pulled out my phone to check the time.

"11:30… not too late. Should be okay to walk home," I thought.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I left through the back door. I was honestly thankful that the streets were pretty well-lit at this hour. Well… better get myself home, not like I can just magically poof myself there. I reached into my bag, pulling out my earbuds, popping one into an ear.

My smile widened as I played the exact song I was listening to. I hummed along to the beat of the song, getting a bit lost into the music.

"There's not a soul out there

No one to hear my prayer

Gimme, gimme, gimme a girl after midnight.

Won't somebody help me chase these shadows away?"

Oh how good it felt to sing the song this way. My cheeks flushed brightly as I continued to sing, thoughts on my savor. 'Hopefully, I run into her again. I want to properly thank her for tonight,' I thought as I made my way along the sidewalk.

My eyes closed as I let my brain wander through possible date ideas. Romantic dinners, going to the movies, or just something as simple as sit-down at a coffee shop sounded nice. Subconsciously, I placed a hand to my cheek, letting out a soft giggle. Letting out a squeal, I went down an alleyway in hopes of getting home faster. Something I've done dozens of times…

What could go wrong, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Heya cutie… it's dangerous to be walking here all by yourself."

My head instantly shot up when I heard a voice from behind. I instantly spun around, to see a sleazy looking man sauntering way over. 'Great, another fucking creep,' I internally groaned, rolling my eyes. My pace started to pick up, keeping my eyes on my phone as I pretended not to hear him.

"Oh come on babe, I know you heard me," the guy jeered.

I kept walking, not looking at him… that was until I was yet again grabbed. With a loud yelp, I quickly pulled away. "You fucking asshole," I spat. "Take a goddamn hint and piss off."

"Now, now that's not nice," he cooed, stepping closer.

Instinctively, I brought my hand up and clapped him hard on the cheek. "Fuck. Off," I snarled. "I'm not even into men in the first place!" Angrily, I spun off and stormed off. At this point I was fuming. "Fucking men… not getting the hint what someone is clearly not into you."

Anger was clouding my mind too much to even notice what was once again approaching me. "You little bitch!" Was the only thing I heard as I was pinned up against the side of a building. "Doesn't matter if you're one of those kinds of women… You need to be taught some manners."

"L-Let go of me, you prick," I stammered, thrashing around in his grip.

I felt my heart start to race as I struggled to get free. Fuck! I never should've walked home by myself. My blood froze when I felt something cold and hard press against the side of my neck. "Behave… and I won't have to use this," the fucking bastard hissed in a sickly sweet voice.

Tears ran down my cheeks at the thought of what was going to happen to me. I tried to scream, but my voice caught in my throat. With a weak sob, I closed my eyes tightly… waiting.

And then it happened; the thing I least expected:

The pressure was abruptly pulled away from my jugular, earning a shocking qasp. The scene I saw before me was something out of a nightmare.

The tall woman from before had pulled the man off of me and had him in an iron grip. But it's what she was doing to him that sent shivers down my spine. She had him pinned tightly against the wall, mouth clamped down on his neck. From what little light there was, I could see liquid oozing and slowly dripping from the bite wound.

My legs gave out from what I was witnessing. I felt my stomach churn, having to forcibly keep my dinner from making its way onto the street. Time seemed to slow to a standstill as I watched in terror.

Something seemed to cause the woman to stop and glance in my direction. The tips of long ears, barely visible, perked up slightly. She let the man fall to the ground like a rag doll. I visibly shuddered at the sight, recoiling at the sight of blood running from off her lips.

A fearful whimper pushed its way out as I made myself smaller, fearing what was going to happen next. My blood turned to ice when she started to walk over. I pressed my body as far back against the wall as I could, weak sobs eminenting.

Oh God, I would be next. She was going to do the same to me as she did to him. I closed my eyes again, waiting again to be grabbed and have my neck bitten into. No, no, I didn't want to think of the pain… Of what it would be like to be drained dry.

"Heya sweets…" came her low, gentle voice.

My eyes fluttered open to see crimson cat-like eyes staring right back at me. "P-Please j-just get it over with," I croaked, recoiling as she inched closer. "Shh, shh, I'm not going to feed on you," the woman spoke in a soft tone. "I've had my fill for tonight anyway."

"T-Then what are you going to do? S-Save me for a later snack? I-If you're going to kill me… just get it over with!"

Her red eyes went wide at what I said. "Kill you? I have no interest in doing that."

"Y-You literally drank from that creep over there!"

"Okay, calm down… he's not dead if that's what you're getting at," she sighed.

The woman moved just enough to where I could look past her. He was visibly breathing, unconscious it seemed, but clearly alive. "Believe me now there, sweets?" She asked with a playful edge to her voice. I still couldn't help my body from shaking as I looked back up at her.

"I, I, I…." I was too stunned for words.

She smirked wildly, showing off a double set of sharp fangs. "Welcome to the world of monsters, honey," the woman purred, licking her lips.

I don't know why, but I found myself blushing heavily once again. I squeaked, hiding my face when I realized what was happening. A deep laugh filled my ears, making me guess she was laughing at me. "Don't usually have women visibly blushing when I save them… but then again, I try not to have spectators."

"H-Huh what do you mean?" I asked, peeking through my hands, only to go full on red at how close she was now.

"I never leave evidence of my feedings," she purred gently. "Blood can only satisfy for so long. I usually like my meals a bit… meatier, if you know what I mean."

"Y-You e-eat people?! H-How is that even possible? I mean… you're tall, b-but still?"

"Someone's definitely curious," she hummed. "Kinda ironic seeing what just happened."

The fear once again started to make its way back. I was face-to-face with a people-eater. And not just that… I was actively talking with them. My body started to shake like mad, whimpering loudly as she spoke. The woman moved back some, but just enough to where I could easily be grabbed if I were to run.

"A few things," she hummed, a more serious edge in her voice. "Yes… while I eat people, I only actively go out of my way to kill and devourer scumbags who'd hurt those who they deem weaker. Most nights, I hunt petty criminals, take a pint or so and leave for the cops. But when the urge hits for a bigger meal… I go after much, much more fucked up individuals."

"This isn't even my main form… it's what I use to blend in with humans. My true form is much bigger, and scarier. So much bigger in fact, I'm able to swallow a man whole."

"O-Okay… b-but isn't that still kinda cruel? Making them experience, what I'd imagine, a very slow and extremely painful death?" I ask meekly, voice shaking.

"I may be a man eater… but I'm not that heartless. I always give as quick and painless a death as possible before eating the body. Plus… who's even going to want to remember them anyways?" She responded back with a huge grin.

That just made me shiver even more. The fact that she actively consumed people at all was a lot to take in. I wasn’t exactly against her going against the scum of the earth… but, still.

My mind was too busy processing what was said to even notice her moving closer. I let out a surprised squeak when I felt something cold, wet run across my cheek.

"T-The hell?!" I sputtered, whipping my face.

She leaned back, licking her lips, purring loudly. "Mmm," she looked down at me, a predatory glint in her eyes. "Just as I thought… you taste delicious."

"H-Huh? I-I thought you said you only went after criminals?" I squeaked, trying to make myself smaller.

"Oh I do… but every once in a while, I get the craving for something different. Something delightful, much like you, sweets," she purred, now starting to tower over me. I tried to run, but was pinned to the ground. It wasn't rough, yet it didn't change the fact I was staring death in the face.

I watched as her humanoid form started to twist and contort. The sound of bones snapping and muscles tearing was enough to send my stomach into knots again. I thrashed around as the hand pinning me down got bigger, started to grow fur, and the claws got longer.

Looking right at me was a beast that could best be described as a walking nightmare. It was like a werewolf, but much, much larger. She had to be over 45 feet at least. Twin fox-like tails swayed like a cat with a fresh mouse. There was a large set of demonic horns that curved backwards and the faintest hint of spikes running along down her back.

God damn she was massive, surely someone would notice what's going on… right?

I once again gave a weak whimper, struggling more as her muzzle leaned closer. The beast's jaws parted, a snake-like appendage that was her tongue ran along my neck and face. The cold saliva made me shudder, seeing as I expected it to be at least warm.

The fuck am I thinking, right now?!

I began to kick and flare my arms around. Somehow I managed to land a solid blow to her jaw. She didn't even look fazed by it, more amused than anything. With fast movement that I didn't see coming, I found the upper half of my body encased in cool, damp darkness. A muffled, fearful scream erupted from my lungs.

I gave a weak sob, recoiling as the beast's cool tongue seemed to coil around my upper body. A loud purr echoed around me as I was licked like a piece of candy. It was almost deafening with how I was situated.

This changed when my own scream came out as I felt myself being pushed in further. I literally watched in horror as the throat opened up, eager to claim me.

I was soon pushed further in, and my God, was it suffocating.

I tried to kick and thrash around, but it was extremely difficult when everything was pinned and squeezing me from all angles. And that purr… that damned, deafening purring!

It felt like a lifetime had passed when I was pushed into a larger space… although calling it large was a luxury. I was forced to curl up into an awkward fetal position. Grunting, I gave what I could a good kick trying to force something, anything to happen. I had to get out of this hell.

I just had to.

I kept my thrashing up for as long as I could, but found myself struggling. My body started to feel tired, very tired… The hell? I literally felt fine just a moment ago? "What's… going on? Why am I… so… sleepy?"

I couldn't fight it any longer, as I soon passed out.

—-----------

My eyes fluttered open to the sunshine and the warmth of my bed. I quickly shot up, letting out a weak laugh. "S-So that was a dream? Thank fucking God…" I breathed, placing a hand to face.

"That was no dream sweets," an irresistible feminine voice purred.

I let out a shout of alarm, scrambling to get out of the sheets. ‘Yes, freedom!’ I thought as I faceplanted into the gourd. That damn voice started to laugh at my clumsiness. "Damn, didn't think you'd be falling for me this quickly," she bellowed.

"S-Shut it," I hissed, rubbing my cheek.

I yelped as I was suddenly picked up and placed back onto the bed. The butterflies started to turn my stomach into knots while this was happening. She smiled sweetly, sitting next to me. Fuck, I could feel my cheeks start to burn with how close she was.

"H-How am I alive… let alone back at my place?" I blurted out, trying to distract myself.

She smirked, resting her chin on her hand. "I told you sweets, I don't hurt innocent people. Sure I might snag one every now and then for a more… lively meal," she purred, coming in closer.

I felt my body starting to heat up a bit as she was close enough to where we could lock lips. "To answer the other question.. I have my ways," she purred, licking her teeth. "Although… It sucks. I'm going to have to erase the memories from your mind. Can't exactly have you going around and letting the world know about my existence."

My eyes flew wide with what she said and I had no control over the words that flew out. "Wait, wait, wait! I, I, I have a proposition for you!" I stammered.

The hell am I saying?

She sat back, raising an eyebrow. " Go on…"

"I-I won't say anything about you or what happened last night, under one condition," my voice shrank, face burning like hell.

"I-If you go on a date with me…"

Now it was my turn to watch her eyes go wide. We sat in awkward silence for what felt like ever, until she snorted, then bursting into full on laughter. Don't know why, but I found myself pouting at her reaction. Fuck… now I wanted to curl into a ball.

Why did I say that?

The woman's laughter soon died down, placing a hand to my chin to look us both in the eyes. "Forgive my sudden burst of laughter, you caught me off guard was all," she spoke with a softness that I'd never seen coming. "Most humans view me as a monster, glutton, an abomination… so how is it you see me in a different light?"

"I, I." Again I was lost for words at the question. It's almost like steam was coming out of my ears as us two stared at each other. "I find you extremely attractive… a-and I… I wanted to thank you properly for helping me."

"Not only that… you never gave me your name," I murmured sheepishly. "I-Im Astra…"

That smug ass grin spread across her lips once again as she got closer. I let out a squeak as I found myself pinned against the headboard. God… does she like toying with me?

"Name’s Dusk, and alright, I'll bite," she hummed, narrowing her eyes playfully. "However, I have my own stipulations for this little exchange."

"What's that?"

"I get to have dessert later on," she purred, leaning in and licking the side of my neck.

I shuddered, letting out a loud whine. I had to bite my lip to keep any other noises from escaping as she gave me another. What did I just get myself into…

"F-Fine… deal," I breathed, panting heavily.

"Good, I look forward to the chance of properly eating you, sweets," she smirked.

I internally cringed at the pun. Well this is going to be a very interesting relationship…

I just had to ask a monster out on a date.

#safe vore #soft vore #g/t vore #g/t fearplay

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driftward · 2 years ago

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⭐⭐⭐⭐

Four stars? I am not sure if you want four slices of Director's Cut commentary, or if you are just -very excited- for commentary.

In an attempt to answer this I found your AO3 work, With You Through It All, and I am enjoying it greatly so far! Thank you for writing that, I hope you are ready for some stars in your inbox. For what it's worth, my long term plan is to also explore the MSQ in an extended narrative, so I very much enjoy it when I see other people doing that.

So, assuming you wanted four, I will say something about each of my longest works for three, and go off the rails for number four.

The work A Knight's Duty is my first real long-form work I have written in a very long time, and certainly the first one for Final Fantasy XIV. I knew I wanted to write a story about my Warrior of Light's childhood, and I wanted to explain at least in part how she wound up the way she did. I used her brother as the PoV character because I did not want to be in her head too much - and I thought it might also help her characterisation if I was forced to explain it from an outside perspective. I really liked the framing I used, starting right out the gate with the question of what makes a knight - and then spending the rest of the piece answering that, bit by bit, not just the nice and fluffy answers, but also trying to find answers for the harder questions of what it means. It also allowed me to explore the idea of what it is to be a paladin outside of the job quests, which I did not care for overmuch. (A common refrain I say is my WoL is not a Sultansworn Paladin, she is an Ighardian Knight, she does not know what those Sultansworn are doing down there and it is none of her business). I am particularly proud of how she begins to meet the ideals of a knight. It would have been easy to give her a triumphant moment over the bullies in this piece, as she defends their would-be victim, but life is often messy and complicated. Instead I forced her to face one of the hard questions, about whether or not what she is doing as a Knight is right. There is no clear answer given, because their is no clear answer to be had, and I feel like I managed to land the moment well.

Sorceress' Apprentice I consider my second major long-form work for FFXIV. It arose from a conversation I was having with my Free Company, about characters who are frequently protrayed as trans in fan works. At the suggestion of Trans Y'shtola, something inside of my head shifted, and I was compelled to try to capture it. My first idea was maybe I felt that Y'shtola was performing femininity, and that is why she is so prim and proper, but that did not fit right, that was not what had resonated with me. In writing Sorceress' Apprentice, I figured it out. Y'shtola reads as trans to me because I have met trans women like her - utterly filled with confidence, full of their womanhood, knowing themselves keenly and with such strength. With that in mind, I explored her childhood, and hopefully did a good job setting up early traits that help explain how she grew up to be the way that she is in the FFXIV story, as well as telling the story of her becoming. Along the way we explore her relationship with Matoya, save some froggies, and experience the magical girl transformation I always wanted.

Also I want to be Y'shtola when I grow up.

The Witch and the Shieldmaiden is my third major long-form work, and I think the most polished of the three. I applied a lot of lessons from the first two, and I think the transitions here are more consistent and smooth, and there is no weird chapter out - for each of the other two there is one chapter which I feel I could cut and it would not harm the story, and also feels a bit shoehorned in, even though they were important enough that I left them in. The Witch and the Shieldmaiden feels complete and coherent to me, however, and I am very proud of it. I do not want to gush over much about it, so I will finish up with some actual commentary about the contents of the story. One of the things I was hoping to show here was what both the Witch and the Shieldmaiden are bringing to one another through the story. Each of them are better for having known and met the other, and also temper one another's worse traits. They are both curious, and adventurous, in their own ways. The Shieldmaiden is patient, and inquisitive, and open, while the Witch is confident, and smart, and fearless. The Witch teaches the Shieldmaiden magic and provides guidance, while the Shieldmaiden teaches the Witch patience and provides new perspectives. There is more, but I hope that is enough that maybe some people will go back and read and look for more, and maybe even find something I may have missed. I feel I should leave things for readers to find for themselves. :)

For the fourth star I said I would go off the rails. So far, what I've given you is some director's commentary for three works I have already published. How about director's commentary for a work in progress that is published nowhere?

So, in this (very far future work), one of the things I want to explore is why G'raha Tia is the way he is. I feel like there is a tragedy in his story, a man out of time, split across a wide gulf of space. He starts as our peer - one that looks up to the Warrior of Light so, so much. Then he takes a nap, and wakes up in the bad end future. We don't know how long he spent there, but he came back to try to set right what once went wrong, and became the Crystal Exarch. A lot of his story we know, but a lot of it we do not, and I explore that here. Also, after the reveal in late Shadowbringers, where he allowed himself to be recognized as G'raha once more, I found him... overly eager for who had previously been a cunning and ruthless city leader? There is an earnestness to him, a desire to go on adventures with the Warrior of Light, and I feel like there is an undercurrent of insecurity there, despite it all, despite all he has done. It feels to me like he very much wants our approval, despite all of his own accomplishments. How did he wind up like that? Hopefully, I will answer that question.

Thank you so very much for the stars, and I hope you found something of interest here! (Edit: If you are reading this and are interested in the works mentioned, their tags are below and will take you to their Tumblr entries!)

#answer hours #ask meme #biot answers #a knight's duty #sorceress' apprentice #the witch and the shieldmaiden #okay and looking back those three may be setting up to be emotishippingly complicated #but i refuse to interrogate myself or that further unless asked directly

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heartshapedgreen · 20 days ago

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love (hate) how transmisogynists on tunglr dot com say 'transmasc, intersex (inherent victims), and transfem (the Oppressor)' like they're distinct groups that never enmesh together. it's no wonder a lot of the takes on transmasculinity are so ill-conceived. it's crazy that despite the (crypto)terf mode of aligning transmasculinity with (cis!) womanhood, we're supposed to just kinda forget that masc trans women exist. who are intersex.

& guess what? cis intersex people exist too! but despite the insistent among tm/ra groups that trans men shouldn't be associated with cis men, there is this amnesia wrt the cisness (cis-adjacentness?) of many of the intersexies #onhere fearmongering about HRT and how it was built on the back of intersexies (as if all science hasn't been built on the marginalized - i hope the PCOS girlies forgo Vaniqa and let their moustache grow as praxis!) and being transmisogynistic about it. it's quite obvious the cis part of their intersexuality is leading the convo.

ime of coming from an intersex family + living in a region where intersexuality is common, cis women, both perisex and intersex, have been the most horrendous to me. literally all my experiences of abuse, sexual and otherwise, have been at the hands of cis women, except one - who i never saw. growing up intersex without it being talked about, i always thought that i was meant to be a man who came out "wrong". i would never be allowed to get on HRT, and on the other hand, the cis intersex women in my family forced me into performing femininity, to transition into womanhood, and i still am out of survival.

it makes my mind spin to see the utter privilege underlying the way intersex cryptoterfs of tunglr talk about HRT, and that there is a Womanhood they're being denied, considering my own (transmaculine & intersex) experience with both of those things. each time, all i hear are the cis intersex women in my life, filled with self-loathing because they're "diseased", and hating on trans women for "doing femininity better than them".

my gender dysphoria is better now since i realized i'm actually just a woman-lover, and a lot of that is thanks to transbians who helped me out of my ILIS (intersex lesbian imposter syndrome) actually. since being LGBT is criminalized, i subconsciously thought i would have an easier time if i was man. i still would transition into manhood if i got the chance to, no matter my own gender identity and personal feelings around gender.

i don't think transitioning and your actual gender conception are necessarily related. for me, it's more a matter of convenience considering the social circumstances that i have to live under (much like how i live under womanhood currently). it's not any different to racialized women getting nose jobs or fat women losing weight. the only people i've seen discuss transitioning for safety have literally just been trans women. it's the reason why i always say i have more of an affinity towards the plastic surgery girls, the girls living under the spectre of fatphobia, and trans girls more than i do towards intersex women whining about being denied womanhood & throwing other women under the bus. all of us are suffering here.

#thinking about gender again today!#text #💚

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askgothamshitty · 2 months ago

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I'm a woman and after I discover non liberal-choice feminism (especially radical feminism), I'm afraid to call myself feminist, because I did and unfortunately still do a lot of things that radical feminism or (feminism in general) against. For example;

1. I don't spread/educating about feminism ideology (explicitly) to my women friend-relative (wfr), especially my traditional/conservative leaning women friend-relative (wfr). I'm scared of their rejection, but I should help them.

2. I stay shut the fuck up when my wfr want to be in relationship (marriage especially) w men (knowing damn well heterosexual is a regime and women most likely suffer from it). Also, I stay silent when they want to be stay at home mom (they're using choice feminism rhetoric).

3. I'm not decentering men, I still act upon my attraction towards men, I have a boyfriend too. But I support Separatism, Celibacy, 8B/6T, Febfem, Political Lesbianism, "Puritanism", etc. To be fair, my boyfriend isn't cis man, so he's not the class oppressor, but at the end of they day he's still man. I do try my best to not engage and not doing too much labor for men, but I'm not gonna lie I still centering them/seeking validation from them in my mind, it's really hard to get over it.

4. I stay silent when men, especially Queer men using misogynistic slur, even though they mean it in a "complimenting" way.

5. Even though I'm anti porn and anti sex industry, I can't help my wfr that happen to be sex worker/prostitute to escape from that situation. I do not have the financial capability for that, to provide them, and I can't guarantee to give themselves a safe secure job.

6. I stay silent when my wfr (especially my best friend) are committed to religion/patriarchal-abrahamic religion. Real-true feminist should be anti theis, right? ):

7. I support anti natalism and anti surrogacy, but I stay silent when my wfr want to become mother and have a biological child. Most of my wfr want to get pregnant, give birth, etc because of the patriarchal culture/influence, my culture still value women based on how their ability to birth a child.

8. I stay silent when my wfr feel the need to always wearing makeup and performing subjugation/femininity in general (dress, heels, doing hair/wig, nail art, cosmetic surgery, etc)

I feel like it's a shame if I call myself feminist, a lot of feminist say my position rn is due to internalised misogyny, but I do think it's mix of everything. I feel like, I don't deserve to identified as a feminist but I'm a feminist ally and women ally. Idk, I struggle with internal conflicts, I keep blaming myself.

I'm sorry for this long rant, thank you so much in advance Lauren. I look up to you, I learn a lot from you, I find comfort in you!!!

I apologise for the grammar error and lack of vocabulary, English isn't my first language!

Don’t apologize! Rants are welcome here! And don’t worry about your English, it’s really good :)

I’m sorry that you are feeling this way. Many radical women have these insecurities, including me. I think it’s a good sign that you’re conscious of your actions.

It seems to me like many of your examples revolve around a hesitancy to speak up and vocalize your thoughts. That’s totally normal, especially as a woman since we are socialized to be reserved. This is something that just takes practice.

But you should know that you don’t have to proselytize to the women in your life, or try to redirect their path. You can’t get a grown adult to do something they don’t want to, at the end of the day. Part of feminism is about believing women should be in charge of their own lives, and not taking a paternalistic approach towards them.

That being said, you can and should share your opinions. It can still be an immense help to other women for them to know that other perspectives are possible. You can also offer advice when potentially risky situations come up (ex: for your friend who wants to be a SAHM: “Make sure you always have your own money that only you control, you never know when you’ll need it”).

For #3 - there’s nothing wrong with acting on your attraction towards men. Feminism isn’t about repressing your desires in the name of ideological purity. It’s possible to be attracted to/partner with men and still be a feminist.

But take some time to reflect on your relationships with men. Are you sacrificing your happiness, time, energy, dignity, etc. for them? Are you prioritizing their perspectives and opinions to your detriment? Are you overlooking unacceptable behavior to preserve your relationship? Do you value his needs over yours?

For #5 - don’t beat yourself up for not having enough money. You can still offer support to your friend by letting them know you are a trusted confidante who doesn’t pass judgement. Make it clear that if they’re ever in a bad situation, you’re there for them, and can help them find resources from those equipped to intervene in situations like that.

Here are some examples of some things you can say in the situations you listed

#1 - “I was recently reading this book about women’s history in the world. Did you know that [interesting fact]?”

#2 - “I understand the appeal of not working, but personally I wouldn’t want to be under someone else’s financial control and dependence.“

#4 - “Please don’t use that word to refer to me. I don’t like it.”

#5 - “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I’m always here for you if you need anything, no judgements.”

#6 - This one is tricky because religion is a very touchy topic. I personally just stay silent when people are talking religion, except if they’re repeating explicitly bigoted beliefs (ex women are inferior). In those cases, I would say, “I don’t believe that at all. I think all humans are equal and that nobody is inherently better, worth more, etc.”

#7 - This is also tricky because people are very attached to their beliefs about having kids. Just try to remain unapologetic and confident about your own decisions.

#8 - “High heels are so painful. I used to wear them and get blisters all the time. Now, I just wear regular shoes. It isn’t worth the hassle; I don’t think beauty is worth being in pain.”

Hopefully this helps :)

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al-n-cartoons · 2 months ago

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My opinions on Helluvaboss are incredibly mixed, though it occurs to keep that my grievances are things which could be rather easily corrected in future episodes, especially when there will naturally be a gap between seasons.

Biggest problem: the rampant fatphobia. I came always judge whether a character is intended to be likable or not almost entirely off of whether or not they're a stick figure. The sin of Greed is a fat man intentionally shown maneuvering his gut as an indicator to the audience how repulsive he is, while the sin of Gluttony, who is always seen eating junkfood, is a narrow waisted slim-thick type. Adam from the adjacent show is a subtler example of this, his body sloping down rather than bending inwards (and the first interaction of him is of him stuffing his face). If an antagonistic character is thin, he is to be engaging; interesting for us to watch. If he is fat or just not thin then we are to find him nauseating.

Second biggest problem: The undercurrent of misogyny and more general sexism. Most girls (or feminine) characters, unless they are the daughter or wife of one of our male protagonists, are portrayed as busybody brats who are often scapegoated. They're the ones shown as prudes, or puritans, or needlessly cruel.

Stella is a genuinely interesting character in that she's a royal who's sole duty in life was to breed, who never loved the husband she was assigned to live with, and who turned around to take it out on her designated mate rather than those under her power (namely her servants). Her characterization works pretty well in hindsight with a few blinding exceptions. I do not think that she didn’t report Stolas sooner because she didn’t think to, I think it is because tormenting him was fun and reporting would take away her toy.

All that said, I took one look at her design when she was first premiered and kind of knew she was someone I was supposed to hate. She's feminine, she wears dresses, she sips on tea while planning parties; of course they were going to shunt the blame onto her to try and persuade us that Stolas was a pure innocent.

A good deal of this criticism is rescinded after Millie's part in the ghost episode, which retroactively paint her minimalist role in episodes as her being something if a strong silent type (which I have come to love; she's a rancher, of course she keeps her cool and says little).

The criticism retains some weight by virtue of how the customers are shown, with women being insufferable, snotty karens and the men being wacky.

Nit pick: Loona and Blitz' relationship is weird. Before it was characterized through recurrent parental abuse as Loona tried beating Blitz over being asked to adjust her performance, then there's an attempted reclarification that she only does this because Blitz constantly pushes her boundaries by trying to act as if he'd raised her from birth, but all the while the narrative treats Blitz as in the right?

Why do they have Loona call him dad. This is my problem; why does she call him that? How come, in the beach episode, does she nearly accidentally call him that? For those of you who have been raised solely by your birth parents, allow me to relay that we don’t tend to call someone “Mom” or “Dad” unless it is a conscious decision which is often negotiated between those involved. It only becomes reflexive after doing it for a long while, and the relationship is made no less valid if the child refers to their parental figure by their first name.

Assuming that Loona grew up in the pound and had no family, it is even more strange that she'd call him that.

It throws me every time. It's weird, I am weirded.

Not a criticism but is something interesting: I've been scratching my head at the attempted social commentary for a while now. Recent episodes have done a better job at qualifying the assertions, but all of the businesses we've seen are run by imps, imps own their own stores, everyone in the office building in the oh so exclusive ring seems to be an imp or someone working for an imp, etcetera.

I thought it was all just hollow preaching, and it mostly is, but now realize that the issue stems from the characters talking as if they are marginalized people in our modern world, while living in a society more akin to pre-revolution France. Factor that difference in and the story becomes a whole lot more cohesive.

Tangent: in defense of Ozzie, what could he have really said at the trial? The accusations Blitz was being prosecuted for were illegal access to the human world, which he had. He'd been the one to initiate it, he was the one profiting, and Osmodious knew this because Stolas had told him. The other accusations were just to get the red bird to back down and to cover his and Stella's tracks (as the assassin they hired had been pardoned, thus they'd be in the clear).

Compliment: The writers have gotten a lot better at portraying emotional depth and dramatic scenes in that the people involved feel like people. Octavia's cascade at her father was well deserved and well carried, which is a far cry from the balcony scene between her and Loona several episodes before. The creative team have akways been good at drama but they are now good at using those skills in a manner that doesn’t give off harmful messages. Read: I like this, more please.

TLDR: Stop being fat phobic, consider how the non-related or married women are portrayed, and you're getting pretty good with the narrative.

Also I lobe how Milly's pregnancy isn’t treated as a Christmas miracle she should be happy for, but rather a life changing risk she needs help configuring.

#Hellubaboss #alighted rambles

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noelssluttt · 5 months ago

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I honestly never really understand her dances. I've seen her doing really cool things when she partners up (specially with the dance partner she usually has) or when she choreographes for other people but the stuff she posts on her stories (I'll never forget the bathroom curtain thing she did) is just not it. I can't imagine, for instance, Cam and the co actress doing the dance she did on her stories just now for Foxbody lol There's just a lot of the dancing world I don't understand. Or in the arts world in general? I get the weirdest feeling when dancers or actors refer to rehearsing or whatever as playing. Might be because I have a regular office job so I can't refer to my meetings with coworkers to create a slide show or spreadsheet as 'playing' lol For me a lot of the speech around dancing or acting sounds like pretentious BS. I think that might be a tiny bit of the reason why I feel closer to Noel. It feels to me that he's very straightforward about acting as his job. In general I enjoy how he goes about things.

Cam i general for me gives off pretentious vibes, as someone who does art as a living

Reminds me of those who wear feminine shit like a pearl necklace , paint their nails and listen to old music and classics then act like an interesting person, when they’re actually not , they’re quite boring to talk to and have nothing much to offer

They don’t really have anything to be passionate about, art make people seem more mysterious and alluring so they use that to get women and look a certain way

Does he do that for women? Nah I don’t think so he’s famous and rich but i do think he is invested in art but doesn’t know how to really get it

He try to be relatable , it only make me believe he doesn’t know what to do with his time, idk maybe directing stuff would be his calling?

For her she’s literally just a a women who have her daddy money to help her with everything serious , her dancing is pretty lacking when i truly look at it ( im not the best but at least I’m not that confident about my dancing)

She lack technique and only look good with other dancers because they’re better dancers then her

Most of her best dance performance are with other dancers and she’s not moving much either more like they move her around and she play dead or work around them

For me a lot of her videos they stole the show from her because her lack of technique she try to do tricks but they don’t work because she doesn’t know how to so she act like she’s doing them and it make her dancing look stupid

For me i don’t like contemporary dance

Anyone that want to seem like a dancer do them in a bad way because they don’t have rules or steps to learn them they use the same moves over and over and they’re not good at dancing with the music

They dance with the “lyrics “ which is dumb to me the music is what move the body not the lyrics i never read a book and thought “ oh yeah this part is danceble”

So again it is pretentious type of dancing

#camyapper

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kelly-danger · 11 months ago

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Just because you want to be a cis man dosnt mean you want to be a trans girl imo. Sometimes people see a guy whos like "sometimes i wish I was a girl" and theyre like YOURE TRANS! But like those are unfortunately two very different experiences and we're given the disservice of living in the real world. If they want to take hrt for dysphoria and live as a trans women thats chill, but my experience as a trans woman is that im only regarded as a women sometimes, usually when its convenient for people who want to exploit me sexually or to virtue signal. Usually im regarded as a freak, which is nice honestly, i like being a freak. This is all fine and good except when being a freak prevents me from getting hired at jobs associated with masculinity, and being not enough of a woman prevents me from getting hired at jobs associated with femininity.

I like my body now though and my existence was always at odds with society. Society dosnt reward males who arent interested in conforming to masculinity, it ostracisises them and subjects them to emotional and physical violence. A natural response to that experience is dysphoria. If all your life you're told youre not a man and punished for it, its easy to think that being a woman might be easier. But being a trans woman?

The most exhilarating part of it is the continued coersion into manhood that I experienced when I tried still being a man. Not being obsessed with patriarchal sexuality for instance meant I was not a man and I was told and shown that by other men. Robert jensen, prominent radical feminist himself said the goal of his essay Patriarchal sex was to encourage men to "stop being men". Now when someone tells me im not a man, I say yes. Theres something liberating about that.

Maybe in another life id see resisting patriarchy as something that makes me brave and strong, manly even, despite how other men and many women wouldnt view or treat me favorably for it. (Even now the ammount that I care about male aproval is miniscule if existent).. but that puts us all back at square one gender abolition wise dosnt it? And either way im going to not want a body that is perceived as male, im not going to be interested in engaging with romance or friendships or rhetoric in the ways i will be expected to as a man. I think I would resent the expectation to perform my role every step of the way.

So what im excited for is for society to create ways to overcome and escape these roles. I think this idea of a "fem boy" is going to be one such revolutionary subculture slash subcategory that could provide a socially sanctioned way of being that challenges patriarchal norms. But it could also be used to strengthen them, just like how transsexuality can he used to either strengthen or weaken patriarcy. So called alternatives to the more blatently patriarchal ways of being a man (being a gentleman for instance) usually get grafted right back into the whole.

Even transsexuality. The expectation to conform to patriarchal femininity in order to be accepted by others...to pass. Well, its never been aluring to me as an individual, despite the safety it might bring.

I dont really have a conclusion, essentially i feel that there is no escape from patriarchy. The for me thinking of myself as not a part of the binary, as not a man, is the most liberating way of going about things, but im still looking for other alternatives

#radfem #radical feminism #transmissogyny #femcel trans girl #trans girl #transgender

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paranoxia-333 · 1 month ago

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Oop…the most divisive two?? Slowly starting to realise maybe I have more of a strange taste in men than I thought XD

I’ve played through up to the fall performance since I wrote the original post (currently on the day before the fall performance) and I DEFINITELY like him more now. That part where Suzu and Sou start arguing and then Sou snaps at Suzu…the voice acting gave me CHILLS during that..the way he started screaming at him really caught me off guard. I really liked his development through that arc too, I felt bad for him the first few times but after the 70th time of Sou going ‘I’m never gonna be as good as Suzu or Kisa…….i can never stand next to her on the stage…’ I think the development was needed fast or he was about to get reallyyy repetitive. But yep, definitely like him a lot more now.

With Neji I probably wouldn’t have liked him as much if my first exposure to him was his romance route since that ‘Tachibana…I’m scared of females’ defenitely made me reconsider for a second lol. I really enjoyed his voice acting as well as Sou, Daisuke Kishio did a really good job giving Neji a dynamic and interesting voice, a lot more than other characters I’ve seen with similar personalities to Neji.

This one might be a bit controversial but I actually appreciated him accepting that offer with Onyx and Rhodonite to transfer Kisa if she couldn’t get an individual award. The way he had that much faith in Kisa’s talent as an actor really impressed me, I’ve played a few otome games before which I had not-so great opinions on, and one of them was always how they always downplay the main character and her skills to fit her into a stereotypical female role, it always just stood out to me how the main character never seemed to be portrayed as talented or strong (I’m sure there’s better otomes out there, I was probably just unlucky) so seeing Neji put so much faith in Kisa because he believes so much in her talent really made me like him, even if it’s under the guise of Kisa being male.

I also…just found him kind of entertaining in general 😅 him being relatively unpredictable compared to other characters just made me a lot more curious to what his interactions would be like, so I end up choosing him a lot more over other characters. I think they’re defenitely going to have to play their cards right for his route though, I’d probably still enjoy his character because of his voice acting and entertainment value but if they don’t resolve his fear of women well later on Sou will probably rise higher than him for my favourite character lol.

I defenitely like Fumi too. I really like his design with the more feminine look too plus the piercings. I still haven’t seen too much of him though so I’ll trust you and keep him for one of the last routes I do. My plan was to start and end with characters I liked the most while keeping the ones I didn’t like so much in the middle, which for me would be Kai and Suzu in the middle. I actually like every character so far, they just happen to be my two least favourites. I’ve played 2-3 events of their routes and both had a big emphasis on Kisa’s Jeanne-ness so far (Suzu ‘I can’t kiss you you look too much like a girl’ and Kai ‘your hands are so small’) which just isn’t my style which you might’ve guessed by the original post lmao. Defenitely still characters I like though, Suzu’s determination is really admirable and Kai’s tendency to say absolutely nothing and also disappear out of nowhere was pretty relatable lol. I also really liked Kai’s talk with Kisa when she was struggling to play Mukai since she thought she was too feminine for the role, when he told her that she doesn’t need to try and be more masculine to play him because she is already suited for the role enough as she is, that really stood out to me and made me like him a lot.

I haven’t really seen that much of Mitsuki to form an opinion on him, since he’s been pretty quiet so far and the 2 events of his I’ve played so far didn’t really tell me too much about him apart from his mother. Definitely still interested in him though, and I defenitely wanna lean into the transmasc vibes lol.

Originally my plan was to play through the routes in the order Neji, Sou, Kai, Suzu, Fumi, Mitsuki but I did read the link you added, it was very helpful! Im gonna keep Neji and Sou where they are but I’m defenitely a big fan of the CGs and a little less concerned about the lore (although I still like it) and since Sou is my second I’m gonna swap those two around so I can have the Sou-Suzu synergy and also delay Kai’s CGs more. I’ll also take your advice with Fumi last and swap him and Mitsuki around so now it’ll be Neji, Sou, Suzu, Kai, Mitsuki, Fumi! I also realised reading the link that my chronic rhythm game addiction has come in clutch with the SS scores and I’m accidentally on my way to the bad end so thank you for the warning😅.. I’ll probably squeeze the bad end in somewhere between Suzu and Kai so it’s not my first impression and I also don’t end on a bad ending. Defenitely enjoying the whole game so far so I’ll probably be commenting on whatever other things stand out to me as I play. Thanks for the advice though! I really appreciate it

Why is this woman targeted otome game making me feel seen in a way no overtly transmasc media ever has (Jack Jeanne on Switch)

For context the MC (Kisa Tachibana) is a girl crossdressing as a boy to go to an all boys drama school called Univeil, since it’s all boys some of them play girls for the plays, the ones who play boys are called Jacks and the ones who play girls are called Jeannes

I was guessing since it was a female protag they would make her a Jeanne for the whole game as not to alienate their audience but for her second performance she’s given a male role as a Jack, she struggles with the role at first and has some lines that resonated HARD with me when looking at them through a transmasc perspective:

I’m sure I don’t need to explain much how a transmasc could relate to this, but it was such a nice surprise to have this nuance in a game I really wasn’t expecting to touch on gender this much; I’m not an avid otome game player so maybe I went into it with a lot of bias as I though it would be targeted towards a straight female audience but it was really nice to see them explore Kisa’s gender expression like this. There are more examples I could talk about with the gender commentary but I don’t want to spoil it too much. If you’re interested in the game I should also mention half the guys look like girls it’s literal transmasc bisexual heaven

Overall I’m really enjoying this game so far, I know the community for it is kind of small but if any other Jack Jeanne fans are here I’d love to hear some more opinions too. I’m only up to around the end of the summer holidays/hotel training camp and when they’re moving into the fall performance practice, so I’d appreciate if you could avoid spoilers past then.

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imthebadguyyy · 3 years ago

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maybe something like interviewer asking her sexist questions and the boys stand up for her , after that interview she feels insecure and the boys comfort her . that's just an idea you don't have to write it !! <33

I hope you like it, and I'm so sorry about the delay 😭 I couldn't find my footing with this one, and I hope it's what you wanted ! Have a lovely day 💙

The One Where They're There For Her

Pairing - One Direction x Reader (6thmember!female!reader)

Fandom - One Direction (Directioners)

Summary - A particularly sexist interview decides to reduce you to just a sexual being and makes no effort to hide his misogyny. But the boys are there to support you.

Warnings - sexualization of the lgbt community, sexist comments, swearing, (honestly I hated myself for writing some of the comments here,and I'm so sorry)

Being a part of the biggest band in the world comes with certain responsibilities. Not responsibilities that come along with signing a recording contract, but those that a person deems themselves responsible for. For example, as the only female in a boyband, a female with a fanbase as large as yours, you took it upon yourself to always stand up for what's right, and to be an ally for the causes close to your heart.

That meant that your social media was often flooded with information about important causes, or your opinions on issues like feminism. Was it always well received? Heck no. There were people filled your feed with hate and comments calling you the most horrible names and labelling you a 'man hater' and a 'bitch' But you didn't let it get to you. On most days. On days like today, it was all you could do to keep it together. It had been a tiring few days, touring, recording, performing and doing an endless amount of interviews and photoshoots. It was safe to say you were on the last of your nerves, having battled your way through a makeup artist who had insisted on pointing out your flaws and had used a shit ton of makeup to cover them up. You had battled a photographer who had not hesitated to tell you that if you didn't look more feminine people would think you were turning into a man.

Before you could retaliate, Paul had dragged him away and told management to cancel the photoshoot, and find another photographer before grabbing the six of you some sandwiches and had let you all go back for a quick power nap at the hotel. Then in about half an hour he had woken you up, to get you ready for another interview. That's how you were here, in a white jumpsuit and a black blazer jacket, paired with black heels. Another day, another interviewer that got on your nerves. But this one, this one was different. This interviewer was different, but also the same. Another misogynistic man who thought he was entitled to stare at your ass and cleavage, and eye fuck you as you settled into a seat in between Niall and Zayn.

Settling in, you crossed one knee over the other, plastering a fake smile onto your face, as the man leaned back in his chair, throwing you a sleazy smirk. Noticing the look, Zayn shifted so you were out of view of the interviewer, but in view of the audience. It was in moments like this that you were a 100× more grateful to have your boys. They were well aware of how sleazy some interviewers could be, having had plenty of experience with them, and Zayn and Louis in particular were very protective about the way you were treated. Squeezing your thigh softly, he leaned back a little, lips settling into a thin line as he looked at the interviewer with a cold look. A little behind, Louis threw the interviewer a dirty look.

"So, One Direction! Congratulations on the album, as you all know its out on November the 22nd, with eighteen new songs, including the singles Night Changes and Steal My Girl Speaking of stealing girls, do you think I could steal your number Y/N? And may I mention, you look ver, very hot in that outfit" The interviewer joked, throwing you what he thought was a sexy smirk. (P.S - it wasn't) Answering with an awkward laugh, you shook your head, as Niall tensed up beside you. "Aww come on, your'e a pretty girl, I'm a handsome guy, let's go out sometime" he pressed on, ignoring the growing anger in Harry's eyes. "That's umm, nice. But no thanks, I'm not going to go out with you" was your answer, as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Picking up on your nervous tic, Zayn moved his hand to rest on your knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

"Aww come on baby, what is it? You like girls or something? Because I wouldn't mind being a part of that action either" the sleazebag chuckled, ignoring the disgusted look Liam sent his way. "That's rude" Liam said, while Zayn tightened his grip on your knee. "Oh come on lads, are you telling me the idea doesn't appeal to you? Two women together, mm, makes me all excited just thinking about it, especially if one of them's Y/N" That comment was all it took for Louis to stand up, turning to the man and saying in a voice much rougher than his usual voice, "Alright, that's fuckin' enough, what the fuck is actually wrong with you?" he was backed up by Liam, who stood up, going to tower over the interviewer, whose eyes had lost some of the sleazy look in them. "All you've done since we walked in here is make those disgusting comments about Y/N, and it's sickening. Have some fucking respect" he practically spat.

Behind him, Zayn took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet, noticing the slight glossiness in them, leading you back to the dressing rooms, while Niall, Liam, Louis and Harry stayed back to continue to snap at the interviewer. "That is no way to treat a woman, and not only are you disrespecting her, you also made those god awful events about seeing women together. Your'e a shame to every single person in this room by talking like that" Harry continued, glancing over his shoulder to check if you were okay.

"And no, it doesn't excite us, because we are not assholes, and you are, a disgusting sleaze who does not deserve the job he has. Fuckin loser" Niall chimed in, standing up and storming out. Louis stood up as well, turning to directly face the cameras and the cameramen and sound technicians, who had all looked shocked when the man had made his comments towards you. "I sure as hell hope you have that on record, so you can see just how fucking sexist this industry is to women. Y/N does the same job as us, works just as hard and has the same number of awards, nominations, and records and yet you decide to only focus on her body, clothes, love life and sexuality. Get a fucking life" he spat at the camera, before walking away himself, eventually followed by Harry and Liam, who apologized to the outraged fans before leaving themselves. As they made their way to the dressing rooms they could hear the audience telling the interviewer to apologize to you, their anger at the way you were treated echoing through the building.

Walking in, Harry caught sigh of you curled up in one of the armchairs, with Louis sitting beside you, while Niall and Zayn talked to a furious Paul. "He had no damn right to treat her like shite, and you need to make sure that he knows those comments were un-fuckin-acceptable" Niall was saying, looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him. "And to make those sickening comments about wanting to get action? Can't we sue him for something?" Was Zayn's reply, glancing over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still okay. "We can't sue him, atleast I don't think we can, but I'll have someone let the smug bastard know that he needs to learn how to respect a woman" Paul said, before leaving the room to give the six of you some time together before you had to head back to the hotel.

"How're you feeling darling?" Louis said, moving over and patting your knee so you moved. "I'm okay" you mumbled back, letting Louis settle in next to you, leaning back to rest on his chest. "He had no fuckin right to say any of that, and don't you let it trouble you for a second" Zayn added, pouring out a cup of tea for you and for Louis and Harry. "I don't care about what he said, I couldn't care less, but it was just so frustrating, sitting there and listening to him just sexualize a whole community of people. You've got to be in a really sad place to think of shit like that. That's what annoyed me. You think I give a damn about what he said about my clothes or wanting to take me out on a date? It was the way he was talking, like he was sure any woman would be glad to have him that irked me. He's really tiresome" was your reply, as you reached forward for a sip of your tea. "That's the right attitude love. Haters gonna hate" Harry said.

"I know that. But I just wish I could punch him once, which sounds mean, but he does kind of deserve it" Niall said, earning a laugh from you. Niall was never usually aggressive, and even now, he wasn't particularly rude but it was rare to see him wanting to punch someone. "It's okay Niall, you don't have to. I can do it myself, but I won't" you replied, leaning up to squeeze his hand. "Besides, Ni, if you went and punched him, I'd do it too, and then we'd all go to jail" Liam chimed in, scrolling through his twitter. "Twitter isn't happy either babe. #stopsexualization and #Y/Ndeservesbetter is trending already" he added, showing you his phone. "If it means some of these sexist asses get their heads out of the sand, I'm happy. But I dont want to to think about it now" you replied, cuddling closer to the warmth radiating from Louis's body.

"Okay, we won't talk about it. Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked, standing up and walking to the door "No I want to go to Nando's. Anybody else hungry?" You asked, to nods of assent from the boys. "I'm starving. Those stupid sandwiches didn't fill me up at all" Zayn said, standing up to grab his coat and wallet. "I know and I'm craving some hot Peri Peri chicken with some fries. Do you think they'd let me put the lemon and herb sauce on the fries?" You asked, standing up yourself, earning a laugh from Louis. "Your'e an international superstar babe, I think they'd give you some lemon herb sauce" Liam joked.

Laughing, the six of you made your way to the car, with Harry and Niall squishing you in between them, as Louis sat in the back with Liam, and Zayn sat in the front with Paul (he was driving thank GOD) "I'm proud of you darling" Harry chimed in suddenly. "I am too" Niall added. "You know I am" Louis said, before Liam added "Always babe" and Zayn turned to smile at you before adding, "We are all proud of you, and we always will be, not only because you do a damn good job of not listening to the haters, but because you do what you think is right" "Awh come on, your'e gonna make me cry" you mumbled, leaning into Niall's shoulder. "Almost makes me feel bad for teasing you about having an extremely low spice tolerance the last time we were at Nando's Haz" you smirked, earning a roar of laughter from the boys.

"That chicken was spicy love!" "It was lemon and herb with no peri peri!" "And it was spicy!"

And just like that, you were back to messing around with each other. Sleazy interviewers would come and go, but your boys were always there to support you. Always.

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A/N - Thanks for reading ! I'd also like to apologize on the behalf of this fictitious interviewer I made up, I felt so bad while writing some of this 😭 anyways, I hope this is what you wanted! Enjoy !

Tags - @zaynkissbot @gucci-hazza @bxtchboy69

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