#i think that part of that job for most women is performing femininity and that would make me want to kms

[gideonisms]

What do you even do in an office. That sounds so fake. Every office worker is so stressed out and for what. You sit down all the time and go the bathroom whenever...although I will say that if I had to wear women's business casual for the rest of my career it would make me murderous so maybe I do understand

[mad-scientist-enthusiast]

Yor Forger- Character Analysis

I think Yor is such a fascinating character. For one, she has a very unique relationship with femininity. Growing up, Yor had to be "the strong one" and look after her brother in the absence of their parents, and this led her to becoming an assassin so she could provide for him. But even without the Garden, Yor has always been physically strong, blunt, and brutal. Her upbringing didn't allow for the same societal socialization as most girls her age had, which also plays a role here. Despite this, Yor makes a great effort to present as formal and as feminine as possible. And to her credit, she does hit all the hallmarks there. She dresses the right way, has a formal manner of speaking, works in a stereotypically feminine occupation as her day job, and goes out with her coworkers when invited; yet her coworkers, and presumably others still seem to know there is something inherently different about her.

In any other setting, this might be okay—an odd coworker is nothing to worry about—but SPY x FAMILY takes place during the Cold War. People are willing to turn even neighbors in to the Secret Police on just mere suspicion, and that's not even including those who make false reports just because they don't like someone. Yor's survival (or at least freedom) relies on her ability to perform femininity according to the standard, but even when she does everything right, she's still alienated from her peers. A lot of this has to do with language, as she tends to only be aware of syntactic and basic semantic context of words and phrases, instead of the pragmatic context used in Ostania. This was likely also a result of her upbringing. She's not only living a double life as an assassin, but also having to perform this femininity to such an extent is another mask she has to wear. Throwing the pretend marriage into the equation, you get an unrealistic amount of masks to juggle all at once.

Although I'd like to think she's able to take a few of them off when it's just her, Loid, and Anya. Outside of Yuri, Yor has felt that her strength and brutality are things to hide and be ashamed of, so it's a pleasant surprise when her new family immediately accepts and praises her for these things. Loid doesn't think there's anything untoward about her, and typically finds Yor's strength to be quite useful (and hot). And Anya looks up to Yor, wanting to be strong like her one day. This is one of many reasons why their family works so well. So much of her life is spent feeling inadequate for things she can't control while living in fear that someone might report her to the Secret Police, and yet now, with her new family, she is treated normally and with respect. She is able to live a fantasy she never thought she would be able to have with her social difficulties. 

I mention her communication struggles as part of her separation from accepted standards of femininity because the way that women talk and their ability to be socially savvy is inherently tied to their femininity. To me this reminds me of the gender disconnect many autistic people (like myself) feel when they are unable to perform their gender roles conventionally. Even strongly masking, it can feel like theres something so deeply wrong with you that everyone else seems to pick up, but you can't for the life of you identify what. Yor wants to perform femininity, as seen by her uniform with the Garden. She very easily could've gone for something more practical or comfortable, but instead chose an outfit that is seductive and feminine. But the issue comes into play when she's presented with different social contexts. She didn't connect that wearing a seductive dress would probably be inappropriate for getting drinks with her coworkers, because she doesn't realize what is and is not appropriate in the first place. 

Overall, I think this view of her character adds so much depth to her and is way more interesting than the "female himbo dommy mommy" box that the fandom tends to stick her in, to me. (No hate btw, to each their own).

[damndroid]

Tr@nny Campers (A Trans Moxxie HC)

(preface: I'm transfem. No, I don't think moxxie is trans because he's effeminate or because he crossdresses. No, I don't think Moxxie is intended to be canonically trans. Honestly, I'm not sure if I would even trust vivzie or the HB crew to intentionally depict thethings about Moxxie that I find the most compellingly trans-coded, so I don't even really want him to be made trans in canon. Anyway,) Happy Campers is a weird episode. A lot of people say that they hate the episode because Moxxie acts like a HUGE asshole in a way that's completely out of character.

And it is out of character! Moxxie is consistently an adoring, supportive, doting husband to Millie. It doesn't really make sense that he would be upset with her for getting all the attention from a bunch of random human tweens. He does have some insecurity issues, and he does seem pretty comfortable being the center of attention. Maybe the failure of his plan pokes at his insecurity in a way that makes being sidelined by Millie hit extra hard. But wait, what exactly is his plan?

Moxxie likes to do things by the book, so he wants to gather information and sherlock out the murderer among the campers. This makes sense. Disguises as a way to blend in and gather intel? Sure! Seems logical. Swapped genders? Classic Moxxie stuff. But then things get a little weird. Moxxie quickly becomes obsessed with socially integrating among the campers (as Moxxine), particularly the 'popular girls'. His initial failure only seems to make him more stubbornly determined. He ignores obvious leads and clues to focus on this task. If his pride is on the line with this plan because this is his first time leading a mission, why does he get so sidetracked by this? I read this as Moxxie going in with a reasonable plan and then being absolutely destroyed by gender dysphoria he didn't anticipate and doesn't really understand. This then also gets caught up in Moxxie's pride about the job. Most of the rest of the episode isn't about him trying to solve the case. It's about Moxxine trying to be seen as Moxxine.

It makes sense in particular that a nerdy, awkward transfem might reach for the 'popular girl' archetype when taking her first, trembling steps into womanhood. It's a distinctly feminine power fantasy, not just of successful performance of womanhood, but of a performance so accepted and adored that it bequeaths broad social power and safety.

A lot of the horror of early transition for a lot of transfems is that femininity in our culture is primarily valued as an object of desire, so a lot of gender euphoria can only be accessed through objectifying yourself: you must be seen as a woman to be desired as one and you must be desired as a woman to hold value (or so the demons tormenting you say). Gender and transition are very much about being Seen (tm), but this is particularly and painfully true for transfems.

With this in mind, Moxxine's behavior starts to make sense. She's being a selfish asshole because she doesn't feel Seen, and until now she didn't even know that she wanted to be Seen in that way, so she doesn't know how to cope. This kind of messiness is something that's often missing from Good Representation (tm) of trans women. For example, take a look at Sallie May.

She's solidified in her womanhood. She's confident, beautiful, and seemingly effortlessly feminine, even while engaging in masculine behaviors like hog wrasslin' or refusing to bathe. This makes her a potent power fantasy for transfems (including me, god I love her so much and i am not normal about her being canonically smelly), but this is only because it's a depiction that doesn't touch on the darker, messier parts of transition. Sallie May already reinvented herself, but that's hard and it takes a long time! And while you're reinventing yourself, you're scared and sensitive and probably don't instantly have the coping strategies in place to handle those feelings. Watching Happy Campers almost makes me cry. It makes me want to hold Moxxine and tell her everything's going to be ok. It also makes me REALLY want an animated short where Sallie May and Moxxie hang out. I'm imagining Moxxie being a lil' akwardly obsessed with Sallie May and her transition, which leads to Moxxie saying a bunch of r/Eggy_Memes shit and Sallie just looking at him like

and afterwards calling Millie like "Ok sis we have GOT to talk about your husband."

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Man-sized Part 2/9 After Dark

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!OC

Tags: Explicit content, +18 audiences only. Smut, romantic angst, fluff. An unapologetic LOVE STORY. Sexual tension, mutual pining, banter, flirting, developing relationship, strangers to lovers. Simon Riley has a dark past (partly inspired by Modern Warfare 2: Ghost comics).

CW/TW: References to PTSD, depression, past torture and abuse in later chapters.

Summary: A uni student who pole dances at a strip club to pay her rent encounters a mysterious giant of a soldier seemingly incapable of falling in love.

A/N: Can be read as a Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!reader. Little to nil description, the OC has a name.

She didn't usually do this.

Bring guys to her apartment after a few giggles. She especially did not bring guys like Simon "I kill people" back home to fuck.

It was her night time self. Her show belonged into a different realm. And that was okay. Everybody had a dark side, and she just... worked with hers in this way.

When people asked about her job, she told them she was a dancer. If they asked more, she told them she taught pole dance lessons. Only a handful of her most trusted friends knew that she danced at a strip club. Danced: she was a dancer, not a stripper. Pole dancing required minimal amount of clothing so that tricks could be performed safely and efficiently. She viewed her job as an opportunity to hone her skills and have a workout after her studies. And it paid the bills. She called it a win-win situation.

Simon belonged to the nighttime world too.

And what happened after dark just had to happen at some point, she figured.

But it turned out that Simon wasn't just a tall, dark stranger who fucked women and killed people.

He was also a lover.

She supposed that he was good at fucking, too, but he seemed to hold back from that this night, with her, at least. She didn't really know what to think of it. She thought he had brought her here – to her apartment – to be fucked. Because that's how it was; he called the shots, not she.

Her clothes were gone as soon as they entered the darkness that was her bedroom. Not a single garment had left his body, other than those big, black shoes that were now in her hallway, somewhere amidst all the girl shoes. Huge hands ran down her back and cupped her ass before she could turn on the lights, they raised her to his lap as he carried her to the bed.

He was a good kisser, and he kissed her all over. She was left with her panties and an icy terror in her stomach as he continued to explore her body with his mouth. She was still not over the fact that he was a cocky stranger who had gotten her into this situation just by pouring honeyed rum in her ear.

In other words, she had fallen for bullshit.

"What's wrong, dove?"

He wasn't stupid, though. He noticed that she was a bit tense, a tad uncomfortable. As much as she wanted to let him do whatever he wanted with her, the prospect of seeing him leave after he was done was a turn-off. In horror, she realized that she wanted to get to know him, wanted to get to know Simon.

"You afraid of me?"

She supposed he would probably get kicks out of it if she said yes.

"Should I be?"

"No. Just here to make ya feel good."

He continued to kiss her, took her breast inside one of those huge palms. She wasn't a small woman, the muscles in her back, shoulders, forearms and stomach might've been a bit too much for some guys. But they weren't for Simon. She felt like a delicate, feminine flower with him, and it was scary: how her breast nearly disappeared inside that warm and calloused hand – of course it was calloused, so much so that the callouses scratched her skin – and when he licked her, she tried to hold on to her sanity for a little while longer.

"What's your last name?"

He huffed a short laugh on her stomach, and her muscles contracted at the hot air suddenly hitting her skin.

"Is that what you wanna know right now?"

When she wouldn't answer, he continued kissing her, went down, even further down…

"Riley."

The name was whispered, short and sweet, against her soaked panties.

"What do we have here…"

She could only swallow and let him take that last bit of shielding fabric away. She hadn't expected this at all: that he would come to her apartment to adore her. That he would go down on her. At this very moment, it felt too intimate, too much from a guy whose name she barely knew. She had come to know him for months and months through his stare only, but now he was here, in her bedroom, between her thighs… he was real.

"I…"

"Yes, love?"

Calling her love already… It was a bit too tacky. But then again, she guessed she did kind of like it because it made her even more wet.

"Could you take your clothes off too?"

This time, he laughed like someone who found the situation greatly entertaining, and her… adorable?

"You never cease to amuse me."

What will happen when I cease to amuse you?

"You always fuck with your clothes on?"

That did something to him. He almost froze, then proceeded to take those goddamn clothes off.

She had ruined the soft, sensual mood, but it was okay, or so she told herself. She wanted to tear down this setting, the scenes that only rubbed it in her face that this was a one time only occasion before Simon would find another girl to obsess about. If he didn't have a girl in every town already...

"No nonsense with you, is that it?" He commented - the mood had definitely changed. "I like it."

The silk gloves were off with the rest of his actual clothes, and this time, when he positioned himself between her legs, it was to guide his erection in.

It was dark in the room, but she could see enough — after all, there was never a complete darkness to be had in the city. The blue-colored light filled the night and showed her that Simon was big.

No, that's not gonna…

He pushed just the tip in, and a needy groan escaped her lips.

"Yeah… I think you like me too."

He was so fucking cocky… Even and especially when his actual cock was inside her, with more and more pushing in by the minute.

She brushed her fingers along the lines of all that muscle, first his shoulder, then the forearm… the skulls and bombs and death. And she was wet, alright. Didn't know if she had ever been this wet for anyone. It was fucking frightening.

"That's a good girl…"

No, not the good girl talk, Jesus…

But she couldn't deny it: it worked. Everything he did, worked like a charm.

His balls touched her as he slid fully in... and stayed there.

The intimacy was unbearable, the stranger was inside her, and she could feel every inch of him. He was hovering above her, looking at her like "Ya feel that? Ya feel it too?"

But she must only be imagining; this wasn't real — a man like him couldn't hold such a sea of emotion in him. He was… a what, a soldier? A killer? There was nothing romantic here. They had met at a strip club.

And what was she to a killer… an exotic dancer, a uni student who barely had her life together, who paid her bills days after the due date.

"Don't flee from it."

She raised her eyes back to his and found that he was examining her. Those eyes now revealed much more than just dark, melting chocolate; they looked like they had seen too much. She briefly thought about whether the man was skilled in torture; if he was skilled at breaking his enemies and if he could hear their thoughts as he broke them. Could hear her thoughts...

"Sarah.. Come back."

Her inner muscles tightened around him, and he reacted instantly. "That's it...- good girl."

No one had ever talked to her like that... And she didn't even want to slap him for it. She followed his voice and was courageous enough to wrap her legs around him, that narrow waist that still managed to be bulky and broad, like everything in him was. He finally started the rodeo, which turned out to be the most sensual fuck she had ever had the privilege to receive.

It was like he fucked her soul or something.

Her lips were quivering, the moans he pulled out from her could've made Nicki Minaj blush. He was thorough, precise, and attentive — traits of a good soldier, she presumed. And he must've been some kind of a leader, the way he cheered her on like a highly ranked officer, a widely respected superior.

"Looking gorgeous," the rough voice washed all over her as she was approaching her orgasm. No one had ever made her come with cock alone. She assumed it was just the months and months of tension that was at work here, but some part of her knew that it was just pure, undiluted Simon Riley who she had to blame for it.

"Eyes up here," he commanded when she was only seconds away from a breakdown. Eyes up here... He talked to her like she was a soldier about to die, and he wouldn't let it happen, not on his watch. But it was a small death and a coming back to life as well: she broke for him so hard that he hissed as she dug her nails into his arms. An invisible string lifted her from her sternum, made her arch her back as she came, screaming, and the eyes held her, beheld her: amused, pleased... He was performing an exorcism on her, waking her from a year-long coma, restarting her heart with electric shocks.

She half expected him to praise her with that sultry good girl stuff again when she was in that vulnerable state, but he bent towards her and went for her mouth. He drank the rest of the orgasm from her lips, almost suffocated her with his kiss as she convulsed beneath him, and he wouldn't stop… he made love to her as she moaned on his tongue, and the thickness continued to fill her slowly as she came down from that life-saving orgasm. By the time he left her mouth, she was panting and squeezing the grinding hips with her hands, sinking her nails in there as well.

"I knew you were a wild one," he whispered against her lips. "That was almost as good as that little slap..."

She couldn't speak, could only catch for air at what Simon had said before he dived for her mouth again. The bed was moaning too under the heavy weight of her mercenary lover, especially when he upped the pace.

"I'm close too," he broke another kiss, slightly panting. "Where do ya want me?"

"Don't pull out..."

He gathered her thighs, lifted them to his shoulders like they weighed nothing, drove deep, so deep that his pelvis touched her and his whole upper body rubbed against her, and all she could feel was muscle. All she could smell was tobacco and hints of scotch and something which she reluctantly labeled as primal. It was his sweat and pheromones and all the tension that came undone as he came inside her. She heard an abrupt grunt that turned into a hoarse, shaky moan... and that earlier, unemotional declaration "I kill people" still echoed in her head.

---

She saw the scars in the morning when he got up and went to the shower. She had thought he was a torturer, but it looked like he was the one who had been tortured sometime in the past.

The white protrusions on his skin were evenly inflicted and in places that were not supposed to end a man but simply give him pain. She didn't know why exactly had she refused to believe him, to believe that his work was something highly unusual. The scars finally rubbed it in her face: this was not a regular, normal dude she was dealing with. He did not work as a desk officer in the military or even as a pro fighter in the combat sports business.

She was both fascinated and disturbed at the thought that Simon likely had invisible injuries too, a collection of scars on his psyche.

"You want a towel?"

It somehow grieved her that he wanted to wash her scent – their scent – away so soon, even if it was a simple, natural thing to do… to shower in the morning. He didn't answer, but when she went to give it to him nevertheless, it suffered the same fate as those flowers as he pulled her under the descending water with him.

The second round was more of a sloppy, dazed fuck. He took her against the wall, and she briefly thought that she would get a huge water bill next month. But it was worth every cent. She didn't come, but enjoyed watching him, now in a fully lit room with half-lidded eyes and a slightly open mouth. He even had a scar on his jaw...

"You're… tight, did'ya know that?"

She was still not over the fact that he talked like this during sex. He was almost chatty when at the bar he had barely spoken full sentences. She never knew dirty talk could be so stimulating.

Or perhaps it was just the magic of Simon Riley again.

"Why so serious?"

She laughed a little — Simon made her laugh. If anything, it was he who could be called serious, even with that dry, dark sense of humour.

"Don't know what to make of you."

"You're not the most open book yourself," he muttered, and she barely detected the hint of sorrow – yearning, in his voice.

He eventually came with an agonized, tired grunt. He seemed to be in a hurry, and when he pulled out and reached his hand to satisfy her as well, she grabbed him by the wrist and gently pushed it away. Simon sighed, and dropped his head against hers while the bulky shoulders closed in on her like walls. The water was running, and he was clearly having a moment, even though it was just supposed to be a quick fuck.

Hesitating, she reached to give him a hug, then started to slowly caress his back as he leaned his head on the wall and against her. His breathing only deepened. He sounded like someone who was taking a cold bath while trying to maintain a controlled breath. At some point, it almost sounded like he was in pain.

"Am I your pet?" He asked rather gruffly, and her hand stopped midway down his back.

"You don't like being touched?"

He nuzzled closer to her neck, placed a kiss behind her ear.

"Perhaps a little too much."

He then surprised her by giving her a wash. Like she was his pet. Perhaps it was his reaction to having shown vulnerable parts of himself to someone, even if what they had shared was just simple human connection. She relaxed a little too much under his touch, which was again deliciously attentive.

"The things I'd do to you if we had more time.."

He was crouching and the soap on her legs eased his caresses, but when he stopped for a while to give her a kiss there, she recoiled from him. It was simply out of surprise, because his hands and the warm water had left her drowsy and melting, but he rose and gave her another look. Simon clearly wasn't used to women refusing him, not to talk of shrinking from his touch.

When they came from the shower, she went straight to the kitchen. While searching for something to offer him as breakfast, she noticed that Simon was examining the course material on her desk.

Art history major and a professional killer — what a hilarious pair.

But he seemed more than interested, almost intrigued. He skimmed through a certain book about studies on the influence of natural philosophy on the Renaissance. The man might surprise her yet, but still, she couldn't see them chatting about Erwin Panofsky over a cup of coffee.

"You want some?"

She was standing there with only a towel on, holding a coffee pan in her hand: far too domestic a setting, and far too soon.

"Nah, gotta go."

Heaven came down in just three words.

Yeah… of course you do.

She abandoned her mission with the coffee and went to get her clothes, to have some kind of protection against the cold Simon would leave her with.

"Will I be seeing you again?"

"If you want to."

Polite, reserved... A gentleman instead of a no-nonsense soldier who would say it like it was. She could see now that he was definitely in a hurry.

"Can I call you?" She tried to flesh out a future for them and not think about the fact that she would, very likely, only have a ghost of him as a memory.

"I'd rather call you."

Right. I'm not seeing this guy again.

"Sure, whatever."

She gave him her number and watched how he walked out of the door and out of her life.

---

You wanted to know what I do for a living.

Holy Mother of…

Not only did he contact her, he sent her a picture of himself looking like… like war. The tired eyes stared at her from inside what looked like the top of a human skull attached to a black balaclava. He wasn't a foot soldier, or a mercenary, he wasn't even working for the UK version of a SWAT team. He was something else. She didn't even have a name for all the gear he was loaded with.

Still want to see me?

Fucking d.e.f.i.n.i.t.e.l.y.

She hadn't expected to see him ever again. She was sure he had asked her number just out of common courtesy. The chemistry was there, but the eventual sex had been awkward — satisyfying, and life saving, but awkward. She didn't really do one night stands, and Simon had flown into that category as soon as he had shut that door.

But now it seemed that she had to find him a new category. Everybody always said to give the guy three days. That the guy would show up if he wanted to.

It had barely been two days since he had been inside her and checked out what it was that she was studying.

I don't know. Doesn't look like James Bond to me.

I can put on a suit if that's more to your liking.

Hah, yeah… She would masturbate on that picture of him wearing a fucking human skull to work at least a hundred times.

No need.

Are you going to return the favor?

She sent him a picture — a rather naughty one. It wasn't the same kind of naughty she did at the club, no. She was wearing barely a touch of makeup, she was a little sleepy, her walls were down... and the only thing she wore was an oversized t-shirt she lifted just enough for him to see a little bit of something.

A smile rose to her face when he answered immediately.

Shouldn't have asked.

Not Bond girl enough for you?

Just the right amount, Sarah. It's your fault if I get killed.

Part 3:

[alicelufenia]

Having just reblogged this post, which was my contribution to a "FF14 Hyurs are not like typical fantasy humans" thread, I thought I'd follow up by reflecting on my oc Alice's incarnations both the Main Character Incarnate as a Warrior of Light, and the Main Character But That's a Bad Thing Dark Urge from Baldur's Gate 3, and how they're both reflections of where I'm at in life when they came to be. I'll be getting a little personal and speaking entirely as Kaylin, the person behind this blog, so without further delay, I wanna talk about how these seemingly so dissimilar characters remain one in the same to me.

I created Alice in March of 2021, having been playing ffxiv for a year and a half, and was sitting at end game for a full year. While I had the name since October 2019, my Warrior of Light remained a mostly featureless avatar. She was a Miqo'te, then an au ra, and when I finally decided to make her into a fully realized character, one who could embody the role of Warrior of Light but be unabashedly mine, was when I opted to use the last Fantasia I'd actually pop from that time to the present, to make my max sliders chest and muscles, highlander hyur with fiery red hair, freckles, and the pink and blue heterochromia that would be her signature going forward. I made Dark Knight her canon job, and have not seen the need to change a single thing about her.

She's strong, brave, cocksure and sassy, but found it difficult to connect with people, instead constantly striving to be the larger than life hero the world needed, but feeling empty without more personal and vulnerable connections. Small wonder come Endwalker that Zenos is the one to crack that shell, and she now thinks of herself as an adventurer first, hero a distant second, and finally letting herself get close to people, especially the scions who she has accepted as an extended family.

At this point in my life I was just beginning to pull myself out of a depressive spiral that had been festering for years behind my single-minded devotion to work. I had also been 2 years into my gender transition at this point, which made me feel empowered, but unsure of where to go next. I lost a lot of muscle mass due to hrt, and was afraid to try and build it back. I made Alice tall (taller than irl me), muscular, and trans like me, as if to show myself a woman can be feminine while boasting traditionally masculine features.

While a noble effort, it never really motivated me to buff up. Hell, before the pandemic I was considering joining a local HEMA chapter and learn fencing. After lockdown and starting transitioning, seeing the way trans athletes are crushed into dust and humiliated convinced me never to try. I still mourn the loss of a chapter of my life that could have been, but for which I saw, and still see, no hope.

Out comes a little game called Baldur's Gate 3, and I recast Alice anew, this time as a half wood-elf instead of full human, and a Paladin with Shadow Sorcerer levels; my interpretation at the time of a setting-appropriate Dark Knight in Faerûn. Her story wound up very different from the consistently heroic figure that was her ffxiv predecessor, falling in love with Minthara (directly mirroring my growing attraction to older women), becoming an Oathbreaker, struggling with heroism before retaking her oath in pursuit of her partner's ambitions, performing truly heroic feats, and in the end, following through with seizing that Absolute power. Except not really, cause the evil endings weren't added at the time, so concluding with saving the day with everyone getting their best outcomes for the most part. But next playthrough, I made her Dark Urge, and it was only then I felt her character was truly established, and now worse than before for everyone around her.

It's easy to look at both her 14 and bg3 versions and get the impression that they're nothing alike (their alignments are practically in opposition), and in their narratives you're correct; at the end of the day the Warrior of Light doesn't carry as much baggage as the Dark Urge. So was I just trying to be edgy as possible now?

By the time bg3 released, I was mostly finished with my transition, save one last step that would be the biggest decision of my life. By the time I made Alice into the Dark Urge and make her past the most ugly and self-destructive yet, I was already making plans for gender confirming surgery. It was a decision a long time coming, and that sense of dysphoria over not just your body, but what others allow you to do with it, features prominently in Alice's background now, her struggle against Bhaal being equally about resisting the Urge but also asserting her body autonomy. Unlike me, she doesn't have bottom dysphoria, but Bhaal interfering with her transition by making sure she'll be able to "breed many bhaalspawn" shows that all she's valued for is her birth assigned sex; literally, as she was formed wholecloth by Bhaal in his image, and has faught against that since childhood.

I've recently come home from the hospital, the great work I endeavored this whole year finally coming to a head. I got my operation, and I have never been happier. Even if it's the most pain I've been through in my 41 years, even though I had a real scare that I was going to bleed out, naked in a hospital bed, the remnants of my dysphoria finally managing to kill me after all, I endured because of a large team of nurses and surgeons working like hell, while my wife stayed by my side, and I kept up my smile.

Now ten days out from my surgery (a tenday, you might say :p) I'm home recovering, every day the swelling and bruising grows less, and I'm even experiencing real feeling again as the nerves wake up, and everything feels perfect down there. My world has been transformed via a blood sacrifice (literally, I needed 3 transfusions the first 4 days in the hospital) and one hell of a surgeon.

So, other than sharing this extremely personal story, how does it tie into Alice? For me it's a reminder that every version of her has reflected my current fears and self-doubts; that I'm not feminine enough, or too much of a shut in to make friends, or pining for an athletic achievement I lack the spirit to pursue, and right now the fear of being robbed of my chance to destroy my source of dysphoria in the near future unless I do something about it RIGHT NOW.

Given all I've achieved this year, despite how shit it was on a large scale, it's been one of if not the most important in my life. I'm finally getting closure with my transition, and still with months of recovery ahead.

What I also have now, is loads and loads of time at home doing nothing but resting and maintenance on my new body, and now with far less pain than before.

In short, reflecting on all of this, I'm finally ready to write my bg3 fanfic starring Alice the Dark Urge, her someday wife Minthara, and all the companions who stuck with them along the way. I know plenty of people who've been anticipating this. I'm dearly sorry my friends, but after working on myself, I am ready to fill your dms with wips, and someday sooner than later, a proper release of Glory and Shame, my current working title.

Please look forward to it.

@w-low @elissastillstands @trappedinafantasy37 @majorasnightmare this one's for you cuties, and anyone else who's shown interest but I've forgotten to include cause it's late and I should sleep lol

[driftward]

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Four stars? I am not sure if you want four slices of Director's Cut commentary, or if you are just -very excited- for commentary.

In an attempt to answer this I found your AO3 work, With You Through It All, and I am enjoying it greatly so far! Thank you for writing that, I hope you are ready for some stars in your inbox. For what it's worth, my long term plan is to also explore the MSQ in an extended narrative, so I very much enjoy it when I see other people doing that.

So, assuming you wanted four, I will say something about each of my longest works for three, and go off the rails for number four.

The work A Knight's Duty is my first real long-form work I have written in a very long time, and certainly the first one for Final Fantasy XIV. I knew I wanted to write a story about my Warrior of Light's childhood, and I wanted to explain at least in part how she wound up the way she did. I used her brother as the PoV character because I did not want to be in her head too much - and I thought it might also help her characterisation if I was forced to explain it from an outside perspective. I really liked the framing I used, starting right out the gate with the question of what makes a knight - and then spending the rest of the piece answering that, bit by bit, not just the nice and fluffy answers, but also trying to find answers for the harder questions of what it means. It also allowed me to explore the idea of what it is to be a paladin outside of the job quests, which I did not care for overmuch. (A common refrain I say is my WoL is not a Sultansworn Paladin, she is an Ighardian Knight, she does not know what those Sultansworn are doing down there and it is none of her business). I am particularly proud of how she begins to meet the ideals of a knight. It would have been easy to give her a triumphant moment over the bullies in this piece, as she defends their would-be victim, but life is often messy and complicated. Instead I forced her to face one of the hard questions, about whether or not what she is doing as a Knight is right. There is no clear answer given, because their is no clear answer to be had, and I feel like I managed to land the moment well.

Sorceress' Apprentice I consider my second major long-form work for FFXIV. It arose from a conversation I was having with my Free Company, about characters who are frequently protrayed as trans in fan works. At the suggestion of Trans Y'shtola, something inside of my head shifted, and I was compelled to try to capture it. My first idea was maybe I felt that Y'shtola was performing femininity, and that is why she is so prim and proper, but that did not fit right, that was not what had resonated with me. In writing Sorceress' Apprentice, I figured it out. Y'shtola reads as trans to me because I have met trans women like her - utterly filled with confidence, full of their womanhood, knowing themselves keenly and with such strength. With that in mind, I explored her childhood, and hopefully did a good job setting up early traits that help explain how she grew up to be the way that she is in the FFXIV story, as well as telling the story of her becoming. Along the way we explore her relationship with Matoya, save some froggies, and experience the magical girl transformation I always wanted.

Also I want to be Y'shtola when I grow up.

The Witch and the Shieldmaiden is my third major long-form work, and I think the most polished of the three. I applied a lot of lessons from the first two, and I think the transitions here are more consistent and smooth, and there is no weird chapter out - for each of the other two there is one chapter which I feel I could cut and it would not harm the story, and also feels a bit shoehorned in, even though they were important enough that I left them in. The Witch and the Shieldmaiden feels complete and coherent to me, however, and I am very proud of it. I do not want to gush over much about it, so I will finish up with some actual commentary about the contents of the story. One of the things I was hoping to show here was what both the Witch and the Shieldmaiden are bringing to one another through the story. Each of them are better for having known and met the other, and also temper one another's worse traits. They are both curious, and adventurous, in their own ways. The Shieldmaiden is patient, and inquisitive, and open, while the Witch is confident, and smart, and fearless. The Witch teaches the Shieldmaiden magic and provides guidance, while the Shieldmaiden teaches the Witch patience and provides new perspectives. There is more, but I hope that is enough that maybe some people will go back and read and look for more, and maybe even find something I may have missed. I feel I should leave things for readers to find for themselves. :)

For the fourth star I said I would go off the rails. So far, what I've given you is some director's commentary for three works I have already published. How about director's commentary for a work in progress that is published nowhere?

So, in this (very far future work), one of the things I want to explore is why G'raha Tia is the way he is. I feel like there is a tragedy in his story, a man out of time, split across a wide gulf of space. He starts as our peer - one that looks up to the Warrior of Light so, so much. Then he takes a nap, and wakes up in the bad end future. We don't know how long he spent there, but he came back to try to set right what once went wrong, and became the Crystal Exarch. A lot of his story we know, but a lot of it we do not, and I explore that here. Also, after the reveal in late Shadowbringers, where he allowed himself to be recognized as G'raha once more, I found him... overly eager for who had previously been a cunning and ruthless city leader? There is an earnestness to him, a desire to go on adventures with the Warrior of Light, and I feel like there is an undercurrent of insecurity there, despite it all, despite all he has done. It feels to me like he very much wants our approval, despite all of his own accomplishments. How did he wind up like that? Hopefully, I will answer that question.

Thank you so very much for the stars, and I hope you found something of interest here! (Edit: If you are reading this and are interested in the works mentioned, their tags are below and will take you to their Tumblr entries!)

[askgothamshitty]

I'm a woman and after I discover non liberal-choice feminism (especially radical feminism), I'm afraid to call myself feminist, because I did and unfortunately still do a lot of things that radical feminism or (feminism in general) against. For example;

1. I don't spread/educating about feminism ideology (explicitly) to my women friend-relative (wfr), especially my traditional/conservative leaning women friend-relative (wfr). I'm scared of their rejection, but I should help them.

2. I stay shut the fuck up when my wfr want to be in relationship (marriage especially) w men (knowing damn well heterosexual is a regime and women most likely suffer from it). Also, I stay silent when they want to be stay at home mom (they're using choice feminism rhetoric).

3. I'm not decentering men, I still act upon my attraction towards men, I have a boyfriend too. But I support Separatism, Celibacy, 8B/6T, Febfem, Political Lesbianism, "Puritanism", etc. To be fair, my boyfriend isn't cis man, so he's not the class oppressor, but at the end of they day he's still man. I do try my best to not engage and not doing too much labor for men, but I'm not gonna lie I still centering them/seeking validation from them in my mind, it's really hard to get over it.

4. I stay silent when men, especially Queer men using misogynistic slur, even though they mean it in a "complimenting" way.

5. Even though I'm anti porn and anti sex industry, I can't help my wfr that happen to be sex worker/prostitute to escape from that situation. I do not have the financial capability for that, to provide them, and I can't guarantee to give themselves a safe secure job.

6. I stay silent when my wfr (especially my best friend) are committed to religion/patriarchal-abrahamic religion. Real-true feminist should be anti theis, right? ):

7. I support anti natalism and anti surrogacy, but I stay silent when my wfr want to become mother and have a biological child. Most of my wfr want to get pregnant, give birth, etc because of the patriarchal culture/influence, my culture still value women based on how their ability to birth a child.

8. I stay silent when my wfr feel the need to always wearing makeup and performing subjugation/femininity in general (dress, heels, doing hair/wig, nail art, cosmetic surgery, etc)

I feel like it's a shame if I call myself feminist, a lot of feminist say my position rn is due to internalised misogyny, but I do think it's mix of everything. I feel like, I don't deserve to identified as a feminist but I'm a feminist ally and women ally. Idk, I struggle with internal conflicts, I keep blaming myself.

I'm sorry for this long rant, thank you so much in advance Lauren. I look up to you, I learn a lot from you, I find comfort in you!!!

I apologise for the grammar error and lack of vocabulary, English isn't my first language!

Don’t apologize! Rants are welcome here! And don’t worry about your English, it’s really good :)

I’m sorry that you are feeling this way. Many radical women have these insecurities, including me. I think it’s a good sign that you’re conscious of your actions.

It seems to me like many of your examples revolve around a hesitancy to speak up and vocalize your thoughts. That’s totally normal, especially as a woman since we are socialized to be reserved. This is something that just takes practice.

But you should know that you don’t have to proselytize to the women in your life, or try to redirect their path. You can’t get a grown adult to do something they don’t want to, at the end of the day. Part of feminism is about believing women should be in charge of their own lives, and not taking a paternalistic approach towards them.

That being said, you can and should share your opinions. It can still be an immense help to other women for them to know that other perspectives are possible. You can also offer advice when potentially risky situations come up (ex: for your friend who wants to be a SAHM: “Make sure you always have your own money that only you control, you never know when you’ll need it”).

For #3 - there’s nothing wrong with acting on your attraction towards men. Feminism isn’t about repressing your desires in the name of ideological purity. It’s possible to be attracted to/partner with men and still be a feminist.

But take some time to reflect on your relationships with men. Are you sacrificing your happiness, time, energy, dignity, etc. for them? Are you prioritizing their perspectives and opinions to your detriment? Are you overlooking unacceptable behavior to preserve your relationship? Do you value his needs over yours?

For #5 - don’t beat yourself up for not having enough money. You can still offer support to your friend by letting them know you are a trusted confidante who doesn’t pass judgement. Make it clear that if they’re ever in a bad situation, you’re there for them, and can help them find resources from those equipped to intervene in situations like that.

Here are some examples of some things you can say in the situations you listed

#1 - “I was recently reading this book about women’s history in the world. Did you know that [interesting fact]?”

#2 - “I understand the appeal of not working, but personally I wouldn’t want to be under someone else’s financial control and dependence.“

#4 - “Please don’t use that word to refer to me. I don’t like it.”

#5 - “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I’m always here for you if you need anything, no judgements.”

#6 - This one is tricky because religion is a very touchy topic. I personally just stay silent when people are talking religion, except if they’re repeating explicitly bigoted beliefs (ex women are inferior). In those cases, I would say, “I don’t believe that at all. I think all humans are equal and that nobody is inherently better, worth more, etc.”

#7 - This is also tricky because people are very attached to their beliefs about having kids. Just try to remain unapologetic and confident about your own decisions.

#8 - “High heels are so painful. I used to wear them and get blisters all the time. Now, I just wear regular shoes. It isn’t worth the hassle; I don’t think beauty is worth being in pain.”

Hopefully this helps :)

[al-n-cartoons]

My opinions on Helluvaboss are incredibly mixed, though it occurs to keep that my grievances are things which could be rather easily corrected in future episodes, especially when there will naturally be a gap between seasons.

Biggest problem: the rampant fatphobia. I came always judge whether a character is intended to be likable or not almost entirely off of whether or not they're a stick figure. The sin of Greed is a fat man intentionally shown maneuvering his gut as an indicator to the audience how repulsive he is, while the sin of Gluttony, who is always seen eating junkfood, is a narrow waisted slim-thick type. Adam from the adjacent show is a subtler example of this, his body sloping down rather than bending inwards (and the first interaction of him is of him stuffing his face). If an antagonistic character is thin, he is to be engaging; interesting for us to watch. If he is fat or just not thin then we are to find him nauseating.

Second biggest problem: The undercurrent of misogyny and more general sexism. Most girls (or feminine) characters, unless they are the daughter or wife of one of our male protagonists, are portrayed as busybody brats who are often scapegoated. They're the ones shown as prudes, or puritans, or needlessly cruel.

Stella is a genuinely interesting character in that she's a royal who's sole duty in life was to breed, who never loved the husband she was assigned to live with, and who turned around to take it out on her designated mate rather than those under her power (namely her servants). Her characterization works pretty well in hindsight with a few blinding exceptions. I do not think that she didn’t report Stolas sooner because she didn’t think to, I think it is because tormenting him was fun and reporting would take away her toy.

All that said, I took one look at her design when she was first premiered and kind of knew she was someone I was supposed to hate. She's feminine, she wears dresses, she sips on tea while planning parties; of course they were going to shunt the blame onto her to try and persuade us that Stolas was a pure innocent.

A good deal of this criticism is rescinded after Millie's part in the ghost episode, which retroactively paint her minimalist role in episodes as her being something if a strong silent type (which I have come to love; she's a rancher, of course she keeps her cool and says little).

The criticism retains some weight by virtue of how the customers are shown, with women being insufferable, snotty karens and the men being wacky.

Nit pick: Loona and Blitz' relationship is weird. Before it was characterized through recurrent parental abuse as Loona tried beating Blitz over being asked to adjust her performance, then there's an attempted reclarification that she only does this because Blitz constantly pushes her boundaries by trying to act as if he'd raised her from birth, but all the while the narrative treats Blitz as in the right?

Why do they have Loona call him dad. This is my problem; why does she call him that? How come, in the beach episode, does she nearly accidentally call him that? For those of you who have been raised solely by your birth parents, allow me to relay that we don’t tend to call someone “Mom” or “Dad” unless it is a conscious decision which is often negotiated between those involved. It only becomes reflexive after doing it for a long while, and the relationship is made no less valid if the child refers to their parental figure by their first name.

Assuming that Loona grew up in the pound and had no family, it is even more strange that she'd call him that.

It throws me every time. It's weird, I am weirded.

Not a criticism but is something interesting: I've been scratching my head at the attempted social commentary for a while now. Recent episodes have done a better job at qualifying the assertions, but all of the businesses we've seen are run by imps, imps own their own stores, everyone in the office building in the oh so exclusive ring seems to be an imp or someone working for an imp, etcetera.

I thought it was all just hollow preaching, and it mostly is, but now realize that the issue stems from the characters talking as if they are marginalized people in our modern world, while living in a society more akin to pre-revolution France. Factor that difference in and the story becomes a whole lot more cohesive.

Tangent: in defense of Ozzie, what could he have really said at the trial? The accusations Blitz was being prosecuted for were illegal access to the human world, which he had. He'd been the one to initiate it, he was the one profiting, and Osmodious knew this because Stolas had told him. The other accusations were just to get the red bird to back down and to cover his and Stella's tracks (as the assassin they hired had been pardoned, thus they'd be in the clear).

Compliment: The writers have gotten a lot better at portraying emotional depth and dramatic scenes in that the people involved feel like people. Octavia's cascade at her father was well deserved and well carried, which is a far cry from the balcony scene between her and Loona several episodes before. The creative team have akways been good at drama but they are now good at using those skills in a manner that doesn’t give off harmful messages. Read: I like this, more please.

TLDR: Stop being fat phobic, consider how the non-related or married women are portrayed, and you're getting pretty good with the narrative.

Also I lobe how Milly's pregnancy isn’t treated as a Christmas miracle she should be happy for, but rather a life changing risk she needs help configuring.

[noelssluttt]

I honestly never really understand her dances. I've seen her doing really cool things when she partners up (specially with the dance partner she usually has) or when she choreographes for other people but the stuff she posts on her stories (I'll never forget the bathroom curtain thing she did) is just not it. I can't imagine, for instance, Cam and the co actress doing the dance she did on her stories just now for Foxbody lol There's just a lot of the dancing world I don't understand. Or in the arts world in general? I get the weirdest feeling when dancers or actors refer to rehearsing or whatever as playing. Might be because I have a regular office job so I can't refer to my meetings with coworkers to create a slide show or spreadsheet as 'playing' lol For me a lot of the speech around dancing or acting sounds like pretentious BS. I think that might be a tiny bit of the reason why I feel closer to Noel. It feels to me that he's very straightforward about acting as his job. In general I enjoy how he goes about things.

Cam i general for me gives off pretentious vibes, as someone who does art as a living

Reminds me of those who wear feminine shit like a pearl necklace , paint their nails and listen to old music and classics then act like an interesting person, when they’re actually not , they’re quite boring to talk to and have nothing much to offer

They don’t really have anything to be passionate about, art make people seem more mysterious and alluring so they use that to get women and look a certain way

Does he do that for women? Nah I don’t think so he’s famous and rich but i do think he is invested in art but doesn’t know how to really get it

He try to be relatable , it only make me believe he doesn’t know what to do with his time, idk maybe directing stuff would be his calling?

For her she’s literally just a a women who have her daddy money to help her with everything serious , her dancing is pretty lacking when i truly look at it ( im not the best but at least I’m not that confident about my dancing)

She lack technique and only look good with other dancers because they’re better dancers then her

Most of her best dance performance are with other dancers and she’s not moving much either more like they move her around and she play dead or work around them

For me a lot of her videos they stole the show from her because her lack of technique she try to do tricks but they don’t work because she doesn’t know how to so she act like she’s doing them and it make her dancing look stupid

For me i don’t like contemporary dance

Anyone that want to seem like a dancer do them in a bad way because they don’t have rules or steps to learn them they use the same moves over and over and they’re not good at dancing with the music

They dance with the “lyrics “ which is dumb to me the music is what move the body not the lyrics i never read a book and thought “ oh yeah this part is danceble”

So again it is pretentious type of dancing

[kelly-danger]

Just because you want to be a cis man dosnt mean you want to be a trans girl imo. Sometimes people see a guy whos like "sometimes i wish I was a girl" and theyre like YOURE TRANS! But like those are unfortunately two very different experiences and we're given the disservice of living in the real world. If they want to take hrt for dysphoria and live as a trans women thats chill, but my experience as a trans woman is that im only regarded as a women sometimes, usually when its convenient for people who want to exploit me sexually or to virtue signal. Usually im regarded as a freak, which is nice honestly, i like being a freak. This is all fine and good except when being a freak prevents me from getting hired at jobs associated with masculinity, and being not enough of a woman prevents me from getting hired at jobs associated with femininity.

I like my body now though and my existence was always at odds with society. Society dosnt reward males who arent interested in conforming to masculinity, it ostracisises them and subjects them to emotional and physical violence. A natural response to that experience is dysphoria. If all your life you're told youre not a man and punished for it, its easy to think that being a woman might be easier. But being a trans woman?

The most exhilarating part of it is the continued coersion into manhood that I experienced when I tried still being a man. Not being obsessed with patriarchal sexuality for instance meant I was not a man and I was told and shown that by other men. Robert jensen, prominent radical feminist himself said the goal of his essay Patriarchal sex was to encourage men to "stop being men". Now when someone tells me im not a man, I say yes. Theres something liberating about that.

Maybe in another life id see resisting patriarchy as something that makes me brave and strong, manly even, despite how other men and many women wouldnt view or treat me favorably for it. (Even now the ammount that I care about male aproval is miniscule if existent).. but that puts us all back at square one gender abolition wise dosnt it? And either way im going to not want a body that is perceived as male, im not going to be interested in engaging with romance or friendships or rhetoric in the ways i will be expected to as a man. I think I would resent the expectation to perform my role every step of the way.

So what im excited for is for society to create ways to overcome and escape these roles. I think this idea of a "fem boy" is going to be one such revolutionary subculture slash subcategory that could provide a socially sanctioned way of being that challenges patriarchal norms. But it could also be used to strengthen them, just like how transsexuality can he used to either strengthen or weaken patriarcy. So called alternatives to the more blatently patriarchal ways of being a man (being a gentleman for instance) usually get grafted right back into the whole.

Even transsexuality. The expectation to conform to patriarchal femininity in order to be accepted by others...to pass. Well, its never been aluring to me as an individual, despite the safety it might bring.

I dont really have a conclusion, essentially i feel that there is no escape from patriarchy. The for me thinking of myself as not a part of the binary, as not a man, is the most liberating way of going about things, but im still looking for other alternatives

[paranoxia-333]

Oop…the most divisive two?? Slowly starting to realise maybe I have more of a strange taste in men than I thought XD

I’ve played through up to the fall performance since I wrote the original post (currently on the day before the fall performance) and I DEFINITELY like him more now. That part where Suzu and Sou start arguing and then Sou snaps at Suzu…the voice acting gave me CHILLS during that..the way he started screaming at him really caught me off guard. I really liked his development through that arc too, I felt bad for him the first few times but after the 70th time of Sou going ‘I’m never gonna be as good as Suzu or Kisa…….i can never stand next to her on the stage…’ I think the development was needed fast or he was about to get reallyyy repetitive. But yep, definitely like him a lot more now.

With Neji I probably wouldn’t have liked him as much if my first exposure to him was his romance route since that ‘Tachibana…I’m scared of females’ defenitely made me reconsider for a second lol. I really enjoyed his voice acting as well as Sou, Daisuke Kishio did a really good job giving Neji a dynamic and interesting voice, a lot more than other characters I’ve seen with similar personalities to Neji.

This one might be a bit controversial but I actually appreciated him accepting that offer with Onyx and Rhodonite to transfer Kisa if she couldn’t get an individual award. The way he had that much faith in Kisa’s talent as an actor really impressed me, I’ve played a few otome games before which I had not-so great opinions on, and one of them was always how they always downplay the main character and her skills to fit her into a stereotypical female role, it always just stood out to me how the main character never seemed to be portrayed as talented or strong (I’m sure there’s better otomes out there, I was probably just unlucky) so seeing Neji put so much faith in Kisa because he believes so much in her talent really made me like him, even if it’s under the guise of Kisa being male.

I also…just found him kind of entertaining in general 😅 him being relatively unpredictable compared to other characters just made me a lot more curious to what his interactions would be like, so I end up choosing him a lot more over other characters. I think they’re defenitely going to have to play their cards right for his route though, I’d probably still enjoy his character because of his voice acting and entertainment value but if they don’t resolve his fear of women well later on Sou will probably rise higher than him for my favourite character lol.

I defenitely like Fumi too. I really like his design with the more feminine look too plus the piercings. I still haven’t seen too much of him though so I’ll trust you and keep him for one of the last routes I do. My plan was to start and end with characters I liked the most while keeping the ones I didn’t like so much in the middle, which for me would be Kai and Suzu in the middle. I actually like every character so far, they just happen to be my two least favourites. I’ve played 2-3 events of their routes and both had a big emphasis on Kisa’s Jeanne-ness so far (Suzu ‘I can’t kiss you you look too much like a girl’ and Kai ‘your hands are so small’) which just isn’t my style which you might’ve guessed by the original post lmao. Defenitely still characters I like though, Suzu’s determination is really admirable and Kai’s tendency to say absolutely nothing and also disappear out of nowhere was pretty relatable lol. I also really liked Kai’s talk with Kisa when she was struggling to play Mukai since she thought she was too feminine for the role, when he told her that she doesn’t need to try and be more masculine to play him because she is already suited for the role enough as she is, that really stood out to me and made me like him a lot.

I haven’t really seen that much of Mitsuki to form an opinion on him, since he’s been pretty quiet so far and the 2 events of his I’ve played so far didn’t really tell me too much about him apart from his mother. Definitely still interested in him though, and I defenitely wanna lean into the transmasc vibes lol.

Originally my plan was to play through the routes in the order Neji, Sou, Kai, Suzu, Fumi, Mitsuki but I did read the link you added, it was very helpful! Im gonna keep Neji and Sou where they are but I’m defenitely a big fan of the CGs and a little less concerned about the lore (although I still like it) and since Sou is my second I’m gonna swap those two around so I can have the Sou-Suzu synergy and also delay Kai’s CGs more. I’ll also take your advice with Fumi last and swap him and Mitsuki around so now it’ll be Neji, Sou, Suzu, Kai, Mitsuki, Fumi! I also realised reading the link that my chronic rhythm game addiction has come in clutch with the SS scores and I’m accidentally on my way to the bad end so thank you for the warning😅.. I’ll probably squeeze the bad end in somewhere between Suzu and Kai so it’s not my first impression and I also don’t end on a bad ending. Defenitely enjoying the whole game so far so I’ll probably be commenting on whatever other things stand out to me as I play. Thanks for the advice though! I really appreciate it

Why is this woman targeted otome game making me feel seen in a way no overtly transmasc media ever has (Jack Jeanne on Switch)

For context the MC (Kisa Tachibana) is a girl crossdressing as a boy to go to an all boys drama school called Univeil, since it’s all boys some of them play girls for the plays, the ones who play boys are called Jacks and the ones who play girls are called Jeannes

I was guessing since it was a female protag they would make her a Jeanne for the whole game as not to alienate their audience but for her second performance she’s given a male role as a Jack, she struggles with the role at first and has some lines that resonated HARD with me when looking at them through a transmasc perspective:

I’m sure I don’t need to explain much how a transmasc could relate to this, but it was such a nice surprise to have this nuance in a game I really wasn’t expecting to touch on gender this much; I’m not an avid otome game player so maybe I went into it with a lot of bias as I though it would be targeted towards a straight female audience but it was really nice to see them explore Kisa’s gender expression like this. There are more examples I could talk about with the gender commentary but I don’t want to spoil it too much. If you’re interested in the game I should also mention half the guys look like girls it’s literal transmasc bisexual heaven

Overall I’m really enjoying this game so far, I know the community for it is kind of small but if any other Jack Jeanne fans are here I’d love to hear some more opinions too. I’m only up to around the end of the summer holidays/hotel training camp and when they’re moving into the fall performance practice, so I’d appreciate if you could avoid spoilers past then.

[imthebadguyyy]

maybe something like interviewer asking her sexist questions and the boys stand up for her , after that interview she feels insecure and the boys comfort her . that's just an idea you don't have to write it !! <33

I hope you like it, and I'm so sorry about the delay 😭 I couldn't find my footing with this one, and I hope it's what you wanted ! Have a lovely day 💙

The One Where They're There For Her

Pairing - One Direction x Reader (6thmember!female!reader)

Fandom - One Direction (Directioners)

Summary - A particularly sexist interview decides to reduce you to just a sexual being and makes no effort to hide his misogyny. But the boys are there to support you.

Warnings - sexualization of the lgbt community, sexist comments, swearing, (honestly I hated myself for writing some of the comments here,and I'm so sorry)

Being a part of the biggest band in the world comes with certain responsibilities. Not responsibilities that come along with signing a recording contract, but those that a person deems themselves responsible for. For example, as the only female in a boyband, a female with a fanbase as large as yours, you took it upon yourself to always stand up for what's right, and to be an ally for the causes close to your heart.

That meant that your social media was often flooded with information about important causes, or your opinions on issues like feminism. Was it always well received? Heck no. There were people filled your feed with hate and comments calling you the most horrible names and labelling you a 'man hater' and a 'bitch' But you didn't let it get to you. On most days. On days like today, it was all you could do to keep it together. It had been a tiring few days, touring, recording, performing and doing an endless amount of interviews and photoshoots. It was safe to say you were on the last of your nerves, having battled your way through a makeup artist who had insisted on pointing out your flaws and had used a shit ton of makeup to cover them up. You had battled a photographer who had not hesitated to tell you that if you didn't look more feminine people would think you were turning into a man.

Before you could retaliate, Paul had dragged him away and told management to cancel the photoshoot, and find another photographer before grabbing the six of you some sandwiches and had let you all go back for a quick power nap at the hotel. Then in about half an hour he had woken you up, to get you ready for another interview. That's how you were here, in a white jumpsuit and a black blazer jacket, paired with black heels. Another day, another interviewer that got on your nerves. But this one, this one was different. This interviewer was different, but also the same. Another misogynistic man who thought he was entitled to stare at your ass and cleavage, and eye fuck you as you settled into a seat in between Niall and Zayn.

Settling in, you crossed one knee over the other, plastering a fake smile onto your face, as the man leaned back in his chair, throwing you a sleazy smirk. Noticing the look, Zayn shifted so you were out of view of the interviewer, but in view of the audience. It was in moments like this that you were a 100× more grateful to have your boys. They were well aware of how sleazy some interviewers could be, having had plenty of experience with them, and Zayn and Louis in particular were very protective about the way you were treated. Squeezing your thigh softly, he leaned back a little, lips settling into a thin line as he looked at the interviewer with a cold look. A little behind, Louis threw the interviewer a dirty look.

"So, One Direction! Congratulations on the album, as you all know its out on November the 22nd, with eighteen new songs, including the singles Night Changes and Steal My Girl Speaking of stealing girls, do you think I could steal your number Y/N? And may I mention, you look ver, very hot in that outfit" The interviewer joked, throwing you what he thought was a sexy smirk. (P.S - it wasn't) Answering with an awkward laugh, you shook your head, as Niall tensed up beside you. "Aww come on, your'e a pretty girl, I'm a handsome guy, let's go out sometime" he pressed on, ignoring the growing anger in Harry's eyes. "That's umm, nice. But no thanks, I'm not going to go out with you" was your answer, as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Picking up on your nervous tic, Zayn moved his hand to rest on your knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

"Aww come on baby, what is it? You like girls or something? Because I wouldn't mind being a part of that action either" the sleazebag chuckled, ignoring the disgusted look Liam sent his way. "That's rude" Liam said, while Zayn tightened his grip on your knee. "Oh come on lads, are you telling me the idea doesn't appeal to you? Two women together, mm, makes me all excited just thinking about it, especially if one of them's Y/N" That comment was all it took for Louis to stand up, turning to the man and saying in a voice much rougher than his usual voice, "Alright, that's fuckin' enough, what the fuck is actually wrong with you?" he was backed up by Liam, who stood up, going to tower over the interviewer, whose eyes had lost some of the sleazy look in them. "All you've done since we walked in here is make those disgusting comments about Y/N, and it's sickening. Have some fucking respect" he practically spat.

Behind him, Zayn took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet, noticing the slight glossiness in them, leading you back to the dressing rooms, while Niall, Liam, Louis and Harry stayed back to continue to snap at the interviewer. "That is no way to treat a woman, and not only are you disrespecting her, you also made those god awful events about seeing women together. Your'e a shame to every single person in this room by talking like that" Harry continued, glancing over his shoulder to check if you were okay.

"And no, it doesn't excite us, because we are not assholes, and you are, a disgusting sleaze who does not deserve the job he has. Fuckin loser" Niall chimed in, standing up and storming out. Louis stood up as well, turning to directly face the cameras and the cameramen and sound technicians, who had all looked shocked when the man had made his comments towards you. "I sure as hell hope you have that on record, so you can see just how fucking sexist this industry is to women. Y/N does the same job as us, works just as hard and has the same number of awards, nominations, and records and yet you decide to only focus on her body, clothes, love life and sexuality. Get a fucking life" he spat at the camera, before walking away himself, eventually followed by Harry and Liam, who apologized to the outraged fans before leaving themselves. As they made their way to the dressing rooms they could hear the audience telling the interviewer to apologize to you, their anger at the way you were treated echoing through the building.

Walking in, Harry caught sigh of you curled up in one of the armchairs, with Louis sitting beside you, while Niall and Zayn talked to a furious Paul. "He had no damn right to treat her like shite, and you need to make sure that he knows those comments were un-fuckin-acceptable" Niall was saying, looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him. "And to make those sickening comments about wanting to get action? Can't we sue him for something?" Was Zayn's reply, glancing over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still okay. "We can't sue him, atleast I don't think we can, but I'll have someone let the smug bastard know that he needs to learn how to respect a woman" Paul said, before leaving the room to give the six of you some time together before you had to head back to the hotel.

"How're you feeling darling?" Louis said, moving over and patting your knee so you moved. "I'm okay" you mumbled back, letting Louis settle in next to you, leaning back to rest on his chest. "He had no fuckin right to say any of that, and don't you let it trouble you for a second" Zayn added, pouring out a cup of tea for you and for Louis and Harry. "I don't care about what he said, I couldn't care less, but it was just so frustrating, sitting there and listening to him just sexualize a whole community of people. You've got to be in a really sad place to think of shit like that. That's what annoyed me. You think I give a damn about what he said about my clothes or wanting to take me out on a date? It was the way he was talking, like he was sure any woman would be glad to have him that irked me. He's really tiresome" was your reply, as you reached forward for a sip of your tea. "That's the right attitude love. Haters gonna hate" Harry said.

"I know that. But I just wish I could punch him once, which sounds mean, but he does kind of deserve it" Niall said, earning a laugh from you. Niall was never usually aggressive, and even now, he wasn't particularly rude but it was rare to see him wanting to punch someone. "It's okay Niall, you don't have to. I can do it myself, but I won't" you replied, leaning up to squeeze his hand. "Besides, Ni, if you went and punched him, I'd do it too, and then we'd all go to jail" Liam chimed in, scrolling through his twitter. "Twitter isn't happy either babe. #stopsexualization and #Y/Ndeservesbetter is trending already" he added, showing you his phone. "If it means some of these sexist asses get their heads out of the sand, I'm happy. But I dont want to to think about it now" you replied, cuddling closer to the warmth radiating from Louis's body.

"Okay, we won't talk about it. Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked, standing up and walking to the door "No I want to go to Nando's. Anybody else hungry?" You asked, to nods of assent from the boys. "I'm starving. Those stupid sandwiches didn't fill me up at all" Zayn said, standing up to grab his coat and wallet. "I know and I'm craving some hot Peri Peri chicken with some fries. Do you think they'd let me put the lemon and herb sauce on the fries?" You asked, standing up yourself, earning a laugh from Louis. "Your'e an international superstar babe, I think they'd give you some lemon herb sauce" Liam joked.

Laughing, the six of you made your way to the car, with Harry and Niall squishing you in between them, as Louis sat in the back with Liam, and Zayn sat in the front with Paul (he was driving thank GOD) "I'm proud of you darling" Harry chimed in suddenly. "I am too" Niall added. "You know I am" Louis said, before Liam added "Always babe" and Zayn turned to smile at you before adding, "We are all proud of you, and we always will be, not only because you do a damn good job of not listening to the haters, but because you do what you think is right" "Awh come on, your'e gonna make me cry" you mumbled, leaning into Niall's shoulder. "Almost makes me feel bad for teasing you about having an extremely low spice tolerance the last time we were at Nando's Haz" you smirked, earning a roar of laughter from the boys.

"That chicken was spicy love!" "It was lemon and herb with no peri peri!" "And it was spicy!"

And just like that, you were back to messing around with each other. Sleazy interviewers would come and go, but your boys were always there to support you. Always.

-------

A/N - Thanks for reading ! I'd also like to apologize on the behalf of this fictitious interviewer I made up, I felt so bad while writing some of this 😭 anyways, I hope this is what you wanted! Enjoy !

Tags - @zaynkissbot @gucci-hazza @bxtchboy69

[hymnsofheresy]

re: the body hair thing, i think a lot of women who react like this do it out of a deep insecurity because deep down they know there's no obligation for women to remove our body hair, and that often we wouldn't actually want to if the standard/expectation wasn't there. at the same time it's frustrating bc not removing body hair is a nonaction. a part of why i don't shave my legs is partially feminist motivation but for the most part i'm just lazy! i just want to be lazy in peace y'know

I think it is definitely a reaction to knowing that deep down the primary motivator for shaving body hair is social and patriarchal in Western society. There are genuinely real social consequences for not shaving your body hair. Women overall are less respected (and sometimes outright harassed) when they aren't performing the right kind of feminine.

This is the reason I don't really fault women for shaving off their body hair. Hell, I even shave my body hair for job interviews and other events that require me to perform femininity. It would be hypocritical of me to judge them.

However, it really does infuriate me when certain women get angry at other women who try to implement actions (or non-actions in this case) in their day to day lives that ideologically align with their feminist ideals. Who is it hurting? What is so terrible about refusing to participate in costly feminine beauty routines? Why are you so afraid of women looking masculine? Why are you afraid of the feminist movement being perceived as queer?

[watermelinoe]

"it does make it unsurprising to me that people whose job is to be sex objects would turn around and objectify others" how does this track to regular ppl who aren't celebrities? men objectify others w/o being celebrities. Do you really think he didn't manage to develop a sense of self? How does that translate to everything he does in his life? I just wish him to be safe and happy ;_; a lot of ppl in his fandom aren't helping him w/ this tbh and imho he needs to leave the company he's at rn too

well, all men are socialized to objectify others and all women are socialized to self-objectify. celebrities exist in somewhat of a microcosm. all celebrities though are operating within an industry where they themselves are the product. for women, one of her selling points always has to be her looks. ugly women simply don't become famous. for men this isn't the case - male celebrities are allowed to be ugly because they can market other parts of themselves. but there are lots of male celebs whose appearances are a large part of their marketability. i wouldn't say that means that they understand what women go through - because, again, being attractive is a baseline requirement for women, and also because women have to feed the male gaze to be desirable and men don't. female celebrities performing femininity are engaged in an ouroboros of degradation and public humiliation. female fans, meanwhile, would be happy to see their male fav show up to an event in sweats.

anyway, i'd say it's pretty likely that people who were child celebrities, female or male, never developed a strong personal identity. as a public figure, the most important thing is your outward persona. this is especially hard as a young person because you don't have solid footing in the world. kids already struggle to find themselves and find their place among their peers - think about how important image is to most high schoolers, yes, even the ones who supposedly don't care. now imagine instead of your peers, it's millions of people. and your brain isn't even fully developed.

the thing is, as you get older, you give less of a shit. and you're allowed to give less of a shit. this especially happens with male celebrities - female celebrities aren't necessarily allowed to stop giving a fuck or even just, y'know, age. but if your male celeb becomes well-established and finds his niche, he'll probably do fine for himself. the public tends to look pretty favorably on former child stars anyway because we feel responsible - we're the ones consuming child stars like they're products, so it's no wonder they turn out like they do. so, idk, just give this guy time.

[nightswithkookmin]

Jimin is a pretty bOY

This is a continuation of our discussion on my last post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I think I agree with all of it.

Not sure how I feel about the calling eachother out bit or near scolding of others in the comments. Please let's be welcoming and respectful of others's thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with it. It's ok to hold diverse views. We do after all come from different backgrounds and have accumulated different experiences and I think it plays out in how we see things. Everyone's opinion is valid. Plus, I purple yall.

Now, do I think he is trying to pack on muscles........? Yes. He said so himself in Festa when he said he would rush to the mirror when he thought he had gained some muscle only to find out his biceps looks like a muscled kindergartner.

He also said lately he's into exercising and staying in shape which is true because for quite sometime now since early this year he has been talking about how "weak" he is in their Vlives and have even given instances of him not being able to do certain things- certian simple and easy tasks- which is typical of him I'd say. He's always talking about how "weak" he is especially around JK and juxtaposing that with "but JK is so strong" which I'm sorry but I have to smirk at right now cos it's such a typical gay pick me simp thing to do. We've all been there.

Do I think he's trying to be a muscle bunny or revert back to his body shape around debut? Absolutely not. But I do think he is straddling the line of toxic masculinity which is what the conversation is about.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to stay in shape or even enjoying work outs. Last night I ran downstairs because I had left my stew on the stove and now this morning I called renew my gym membership because I discovered running can be actually fun to do... No. No it's not. The gym instructor would have to come for me kicking and screaming.

RM have said even though JM looks skinny and fragile he is one of the strongest within the group. Besides, this is not the first time he's expressed interest in working out and building his body- hello, on Era?

I remember people complaining he looked too buffed up in that period on SNS and PJMs quickly jumping in to clear the searches for it. The choreo for On required agility and endurance and required the members- not just JM build up some definition in their muscles.

We've seen them go through all that. So it's not simply a matter of black and white staying in shape or doing it because he feels pressured to do so. Especially, when you consider that he's undertaken some pretty unhealthy measures in the past in attempts to lose weight or soften out his body post these muscle building, weight gaining periods and we've always chalked it up to his dance and how as a contemporary dancer he has to look a certain way or this or that to try to justify and make sense of it. Next you, know there are six chapters of break the silence of him talking about all the dark places he's been, the pressures to look his best for his fans or for his job and all these other painful stories he's shared with us over the years. And it's like, but why? Why do this to yourself?

I'll never forget the look he gave JK when JK was talking about wanting to build muscles in one of the interviews for the promotion of Be- I think I made a post on it. When JK noticed JMs disapproving glare he backtracked saying he would want to stay skinny after gaining all that muscles.

I mean if I'm to be honest, he was bound to crack at one point. The signs were there being surrounded by all these men who adhere to the traditional aesthetics of a masculine body- from Namjoon to Taehyung.

I wish y'all will steer the conversation in this direction and make it more about gender norms and expressions and breaking stereotypes and diversity in the body aesthetics of men.

Jimin is a man too. He just isn't what people traditionally will label masculine. Androgynous is more an apt word in my opinion. How many times have I said, I think Jungkook hetero passes because his body aesthetics is quintessentially what most associates with a masculine man?

Breaking gender barriers is not just about embracing feminine apparels- that teeters on cross dressing quite frankly and can be a bit performative and baity. Then you have to consider their culture in itself has an inherent pro gender diversity feel to it.

Now, let me explain my problem with the Klout ad campaign a little bit.

Do you see how Tae stands out? And I'm not saying this to fuel the "Tae was their fav" debacle. It's the 007 feel... I'll explain in a bit.

Most often, alcohol advertisers as well as most advertisements intended to sell to men often try to appeal to men's internalized ideals of masculinity or try to shape and define what a man or masculinity should look like. These ideals are so often toxic and detrimental to men and mostly women too.

Take a look at these ads for example. All I had to do was google search ads for men.

Real men drink milk and look at the image they present as real men. This blatantly implies if you don't look like this, if you are not a strong cliff climbing man with abs you are not a real man.

The second image is subtle. I call it the 007 slash Kingsmen-esque ideals of masculinity. It portrays men as sexy cool badass- works out but isn't too buff, filthy rich or middle class, wears Rolex, designer clothes, is kind but has a mean exterior and is every 13 year old wattpad girls's dream of a man. In fiction, you see this kind of masculinity in characters such as Edward cullens to Christian Grey. And a lot of ads for men alternate between these two ideals of masculinity.

Do you see how they modeled Taehyung in these ads after this kind of masctheme? Tae looks the same in almost all the ads. 007 sexy cool badass.

Now, I may not be a makeup beauty guru or MUA or whatever, but one thing I've picked up on especially when it comes to makeup for men- BTS and Kpop idols mostly is that, they soften out the harsh features on their faces and make them appear more androgynous or effeminate to suit the Kpop look and they ditch it entirely in different settings.

So for instance, Tae and Kookie's natural hawkish eyebrows tend to get softened around the arch and edges- don't know how the fuck they do that- but it appears less in your face intense most times when they wear make up in kpop related contents.

However, in certain other contents that lean towards a certain gender theme those features are emphasized. Not to say hawkish features are masculine features. Just saying in men, Kpop idols, my observation is they soften those features out with makeup or surgery.

Now, take a look at JM in these ads and look at everything from his posture, make up, hairstyle and brows. It's as if someone took an eraser to his androgynousity and erased his feminine side. Take a look at his photo above and compare it to the ads.

I am not a man. But I feel the gender look they went for, intended to appeal to men, tapped into a rather outdated stereotype of what man and masculinity should look like.

What is a man?

What should a man look like?

What aesthetics of masculinity is Jimin gravitating towards now? And I'm not talking clothes, I'm talking the expression of his gender. Time and again, he's talked about how looking a certain way made him uncomfortable in the past because he was constantly fighting his feminine side. He is androgynous. Sometimes he leans more into his feminine side. Other times he leans more into his masculine side but this is the only time he's leaning into his masculinity that makes me uncomfortable to watch because like I said it bothers on toxic masculinity.

He's said whoever he was, the version fighting to look masculine, that wasn't him. So forgive me if I worry whenever i see him suppressing his feminine side and acting like 'one of the boys.' Him staying in shape is not synonymous with him erasing a valid part of himself or suppressing it. He can stay in shape, celebrate his masculinity and still be FILTER.

What I'm saying is, this not a conversation about him exercising. This is a conversation about an ad erasing his feminine side and boxing him into a narrow expression of his gender and how that might be affecting his view of himself especially in the way he's been gravitating towards a certain masculine aesthetics and how that could be toxic.

Tae has said the same thing and BTS have agreed the JM as of 2019 was the real JM according to them.They said he was that way- suppressing his feminine side, because there weren't much songs and choreos that suited him and so he had had to bend himself to fit with the others.

And so when I see him leaning a certain way I tend to wonder if his exterior environment is playing a role in that. I hope you can understand that.

He is a contemporary dancer and strength and flexibility are prerequisites for his craft. The company go out of their way to incorporate contemporary dance in their choreos for JM's sake which helps solve that problem of him trying too hard to look a certain way.

May be I'm projecting. May be my little brother is effeminate and I've always recommended Jimin as a role for him to tell him not to try to look different just because other boys look different. May be I've seen him try one too many times to kill himself in the gym trying to build on muscles and getting frustrated with himself because he ends up looking like someone else. You can't gym the queerness away. Society will never let you be who you want to be so you might as well flip it the middle finger.

These boys are being shaped by their environment. I hate to say this but the environment they are in isn't exactly progressive and the longer they stay in there cut off from the outside world...

Flying out helps. Meeting different people and being exposed to different cultures and conversations on gender expression helps.

Anywho, these are just concerns I have. Will have them till I see that's not where he is headed towards. But let's not act like these ad campaigns do not and can not psychologically impact these boys especially as these advertisers are not looking to tap into their own definition of gender and masculinity but shape it and redefine it to appeal to the demographic they intend to market to.

I think this is just a grey area for me. Rather than try to change JM to look a certain way in order to sell alcohol. I think the ground breaking thing would be to have a man who looks like JM show us how someone like him would sell a can of drink. I think that would be revolutionary.

Signed,

GOLDY

[misswenndy]

THE BEAUTY OF DOMINANCE

Owning a submissive, can be one of the most beautiful things a woman can ever own.  There is so much potential in owning a submissive male.  I say own, within the context of love being the foundation. It’s not a forced ownership, since he wants to be owned, but make no mistake, the true power really does lie in her capable hands. Once a submissive goes down the road of being owned, he feels like he belongs to her. She feels like he is her personal property.  This is a bond between them, that only deepens in time.

It really does get to a point where, a submissive male wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than under her complete control. He trusts and loves her so completely, that he surrenders to her in love. He knows any other way to be in life, pales in comparison compared to being totally devoted to her. He dares not disobey, even if disobedience is easy, or even if, he can get away with it without her noticing. A true submissive, will obey for the sake of obeying her. He will have no second thoughts about it, his ego is completely hers to mold. He has become loyal to her authority, and her as a person.

This is why it’s so incredibly important that she understands her power, and does not use it to abuse him. Because she can, easily, abuse him, and many submissive’s will take that abuse for a while, when they should be standing up and saying no. The fault always lies with the abuser, it is her responsibility, and a submissive, should know, that it’s always okay to stand up and say no, when he feels abused. She needs to respect that for the sake of a healthy relationship. She also needs to respect that for the sake of her loving submissive, and to always have an optimal level of willing submission from him at all times. The sheer level of submission that can come from his is on par with bliss.

Once in control, all trust issues disappear, she never has to worry about what he thinks of her, and most importantly, he is always desiring her. She never has to have body insecurity issues, because his tongue is eager to be used at all times of the day, any time she wants to use it.  Any where she wants to use. For as long as she wants to use it.   This eliminates any kind of guilt she has ever had about sex.  It helps her establish her own sexual desire, and to always please herself when she feels the urge.  It’s total freedom of female sexuality and expression. 

She gets to wear anything she wants, around the house, or out of the house, often, acting single, while keeping her submissive as her owned monogamous pet. She can choose monogamy too, the choice is hers. She understands that he gets no say in her sex life, ever, unless she gives him a say. But, she gets total say in his sex life. He may never even get an erection without her permission. He may never touch his penis ever again without her permission. Or he may be tied down any time the cage comes off, if it comes off. 

His ass is hers to smack, spank, or enjoy with a strap-on, anytime. He gets no say in that either. His body is her amusement park, and the sheer joy that she can have exploring his body, even with just her hands and nails, while he squirms can be a delight few women have ever known. She also gets to dress him however she wants to dress him.  Many women love feminizing a male because it turns him into one of her accessories, in the same way she once played with dolls. It’s incredibly fun to dress a submissive up and put her personal touch on him, and always have him wearing what she wants. He is hers to own, and he will look owned by her. He gets no say in that, except in vanilla situations that may call for a more masculine look. 

But the most interesting part about it, is that vanilla life becomes the play, it is no longer the serious formal identity it used to be, for either of you. You are dominant and submissive, that’s who you really are, and even in the vanilla world, there is that knowing of who owns who. Her ownership of him will always be the forefront of his world, and it will always be her expectation, that he is at her feet on demand, at any time.

The beauty of dominance is that expectation. The expectation that he will endure any and all kinds of sexual tease, that he will give up all sexual rights of his body, and be hers entirely. He accepts her as the authority and as the key to his sex life, and may remain without sexual release for weeks or months or years. His sacrifice is never ignored by her, but accepted with love, and enforced with her power and dominance. She will make sure that he always honors his submission to her by remaining strict. 

The beauty of dominance means she never has a worry, fear or doubt about him ever again. This will cause a huge surge in her own confidence as a woman, if she hasn’t discovered her dominance before. Once she has that confidence, she is geared to live the best life she can possibly live, with her submissive loyally at her side, supportive of her decisions, and always helping her succeed. In return, she is his structure in life, she is the missing piece of the puzzle he has always needed, the purpose he has always longed for. That’s the beauty of dominance.

Teach Him!

One very interesting aspect of a FLR, and in particular, of submissive males, is that they are eager to please. Submissive males want to please, it makes them feel good to give pleasure.  Especially sexual pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be sexual. They will happily clean the bathroom just to be told they’re a good boy, and win approval or brownie points toward a possible release from chastity. However, most submissives males, while eager to please, are quite clueless on how to go about it. They want to please her their way, in any way they know how. A smart submissive understands he must not only be eager to please, but also, eager to learn. 

Lets face it, most males in general, are terrible at eating pussy. If she isn’t on her back shuddering, and grabbing his hair and pulling him closer, moaning while she does it, he’s not doing a good enough job. As his dominant, never be afraid to speak up about it from the get go. Tell him exactly how you want him to improve, tell him what techniques work and also tell him to be creative.  When you don’t know what’s coming, sometimes that can bring very intense orgasms. So a sudden change in tongue pattern, or a finger at the right time can make all the difference in the world.

Remember that his orgasms depend upon the quality of your orgasms, so he has every incentive to please you the right way. Give him lots of opportunities to practice, that’s the beauty of having a submissive in the first place, he’s always ready and eager for you. You can quickly teach him to be an oral expert, even if it was an awkward road to getting there, submissives learn quickly if you’re dedicated to teaching them. Before long all you will have to do is lay back and relax while he goes to town, and that’s how it should be. Your pleasure should always be his only focus, that’s just the nature of the relationship. 

Don’t just stop at oral though, and especially not at just eating pussy. Keep him chaste long enough, and any inhibitions he ever had about eating ass will disappear like they never existed in the first place. Of course, be healthy about it, but not shy!  Teach him how to best perform oral on both areas simultaneously, so that when you’re in the midst of cumming, your back door is being pleasured as well, sending you to new heights of orgasmic bliss. Then you can have him orally service you anywhere, any time you please, and be an expert at it. 

But don’t just stop there, teach him so much more, teach him, how to give you massages, feet, back, sensual, soft, with / without oil... Whatever it is you prefer. With tongue, without tongue. Hands only, or tongue only... You get to customize how  and what he learns. Teach him to pamper you. Teach him what lotions do, moisturizers, and creams. Teach him to shave you, paint your nails, give you a pedicure. Teach him that your femininity is his priority. And don’t let him ever avoid your period, show him everything about it, teach him how to use a tampon, show him the blood. Get him so comfortable with your period that he never shys away when you talk about it. So that, he can provide you emotional and physical support when you tell him you’re on it. Even to the point where, he knows your cycle as good as you do, and anticipates the little things before it even starts. Teach him everything about you, he’s your submissive, you are his priority, so don’t ever let him get away with slacking off, or avoiding one thing but not another. Teach him so much, that, he is your rock, your confidant, your safe haven, your support, your security, your trust, and your love. Then be all those things for him, because you value his submission to you, and cherish the gift that it is.

The Strap On

One of the biggest kinks in a FLR is the strap on. There are many reasons why they’re so common and popular. They benefit both partners equally in different ways making it the perfect sex toy to have in your kinky collection.  However it goes beyond simply being a sex toy, as a strap on can have huge psychological effects as well as physical.  It can really enhance the D/s dynamic because its the perfect tool for role reversal. 

When a strap on is combined with chastity, some real magic can happen between partners.  The longer he is chaste, the more likely he is to crave some sort of anal play, as his prostate gets bigger and more sensitive, craving any kind of stimulation. Even if he doesn’t crave anal play, it is actually healthy for him to have the prostate stimulated, during long lock ups, so it’s for his own good anyway!  This is why a strap on can be so much fun.  He either craves it, or it is humiliating to him, or both!  

This is perfect for a domme as well, as she gets to discover the power of having a penis between her legs, and his moans of pleasure or discomfort, as she begins to thrust into him. This alone, can be an extremely high level of power exchange and very erotic for her. She can take him with her strap on until he is whimpering horny and deep in sub space. There are no concerns about him cumming from the strap on, because this generally requires a lot of time and concentrated effort and technique to achieve. It is possible, if that is what she wants, but she has full control over that. Leaving him horny, makes for an eager tongue after she is finished taking him with the strap on. A tongue in which, she is equally eager for!

The strap on is much more fun than simply just bending him over, there are many ways in which a strap on can be used, which can make it a symbol of her dominance over him.  Often, a strap on is bigger than his penis, and she can tease him about that, saying her cock is bigger than his, while taking him with it.  Or for even more fun, she could allow him to wear it over his cage, and allow him to have intercourse with her using it. Since its bigger than his own penis, she can tease and say how much better it feels.

She could even go so far as to name her cock, and have her sub respect it, by cleaning it after use. Or sucking it to lube it up. Just looking down into his eyes can give both partners a power exchange rush that creates a strong erotic charge.  She can also make him practice his sucking techniques, if she plans on bringing other males into the relationship at some point. Once she has named her strap on, her submissive will have to worship it in the same way he worships her body, because it’s her cock. The psychological effects this can have, can send him deep into subspace, and she can keep him there. 

The strap on can also come in very handy as a punishment. Sometimes a submissive just needs a good hard strap on session, ordering him to get the strap on, and bend over on command, can be a powerful technique. Taking him with it often, even when he’s not in the mood, will help him adjust his behavior to understand, it’s not his bum, it’s hers. His resistance to it, will soon drop away, and the strap on will become a symbol of her power. 

Perhaps eventually, it may be the only way he is allowed to cum.  This can be common if she likes to feminize him, he can literally become the female in the relationship, and cum from anal only, while still caged. There’s so many possibilities with the strap on, including attachments that can provide her stimulation while using it making it even more fun.  It’s just one more tool in the femdom box, that she can use to completely dominate and own her submissive in all the ways she’s always wanted.  It is all about her, after all.