#i think somebody needs to pay for some therapy though
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I just finished The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die and…
what a roller coaster.
⚠️SPOILER WARNING!⚠️
not only did we get Aethelstan and his gay lover turned enemy but they kill the main character in one of the most beautiful ways possible. the talk of Aethelstan’s guilt for sleeping with a man and the sin that it was seen as made for a stunning scene (at least for me) when Uhtred told him that it didn’t matter who he was with as long as he was on the right path.
the battle was so beautiful and it felt like you were truely seeing the struggle that the men of England were facing. The plot, although not fully revealed until certain parts was actually well constructed (in my opinion) and finished with a conclusion that not only was one of the best ways I have seen a series end but was done so in a way that there is a sense of closure to it.
uhtred is now in valhalla, with his danish father ragnar the elder, brida, haestan and clappa. I would have liked to see his brother Ragnar, Father Beocca and even Leofric waiting for him as well. But I think the addition of Ragnar the elder was so amazing.
The film progressed at an amazing pace that kept you waiting to see what was next, all while ripping your heart out over the fate of some people. Finan and his wife, Engrid (Ingrid?) and her death scene was…
It hurt. So did Aldhelm and his hanging. He was a character I liked and for him to have died being seen as a traitor was awful.
The narrative of the entire movie was well balanced and much of the narrating from both Uhtred and Finan was amazing. Uhtred and his speeches will always be something to remember.
I may have cried at the end. His death speech was something. And I really did love the entire movie and show. My brother and my parents watched it with me, although I started it and they joined in.
But it was beautifully written and now I am going to read the books.
*Damn, this is a long rant but none of my friends watched it so now I can only watch youtube videos and scroll through tumblr about it :/
#the last kingdom#seven kings must die#uhtred#finan#tlk#rant post#2023 movies#i want to recommend this because it was worth it#such a good watch :)#i think somebody needs to pay for some therapy though
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4, 7, 15
Thanks pal!
4. I'm looking forward to a bunch of things I guess, although also everything makes me so nervous that anticipation is never untainted! I'm looking forward to my book coming out, even though it has all sorts of little flaws that I can barely prevent myself from spontaneously defending/confessing. I'm looking forward to a blu-ray commentary I'm gonna record soon (can't announce yet) plus a bunch of writing I got assigned, all really cool things but I know how much work they are and I wonder if I'm going to survive it every time! I'm looking forward to a horror event I have to host in a couple weeks; it's insanity, I'm paying $$$ for travel and lodging to be on a stage for probably ten minutes to just sort of be the face of the event and provide "support", but that's what it means to me apparently. I think that I should try to find some longer term things to look forward to, but that will be a whole project, I've always had a lot of trouble with goal formation. I'm always doing one short-term thing at a time and feeling like I barely got away with it.
7. 2023 was really insane. My mental health was crumbling really badly in tandem with our tiny, ridiculous apartment where we had lived for ten years. There were huge ups and downs with the big TBA project I basically gave my life to, that I may never be able to "A" but hopefully some day someone will tell me if it is officially cancelled so I can at least talk about it a little. I also wrote my book and I got a chance to go to London to record my first blu-ray commentary, which was a huge adventure and it happened amidst a bunch of really complicated dramatic events I don't have the space for; it was like, we moved out of our apartment, and somebody died, and I had to get on a plane to another country immediately, and I still have this feeling like I went through a portal to another dimension and when I landed at home again it was in another universe and that's where I've been ever since. I got to do some major writing projects that kind of felt like, well OK I did THIS, maybe it will be alright if I die now. I got to be on the jury of the local horror film festival and that was really awesome...and I'm starting to realize that this roundup makes it sound like I'm an incredibly ambitious and busy professional person who is fulfilling her dreams, but none of this stuff pays the bills and I am chronically unemployed, and I seem to have a lot of cognitive and intellectual problems, and I'm just terrified that I'm going to have to starve to death eventually. Toward the end of the year I tried to go back into therapy (round 3) and the search itself was really frightening, but when I finally picked someone I had made a really bad choice and the ~3 sessions I had with her fucked up my mind so badly, I wasn't OK for like two months. I still need to figure that out though, there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.
15. Personality description, wow. Maybe it would be fun to do one of those Marvel cards with all my "stats". How do I answer this? My instinct is to list all my pathologies, but then I think I should say what I'm like socially, but then I remember that I'm pretty different from one situation to another. I have incredible anxiety and I'm always tired from a lot of heavy duty masking, but the masking is 1 part survival instinct and 1 part compassion for others I would say. Almost all of my relationships are these intense one-on-one bonds, I don't do well in groups or with people who can't sustain a long conversation about one thing. But even with people I really know and love I have trouble being spontaneous, I have to script all my phone calls just in case I suddenly lose my mind. I think a lot of people perceive me as like really tough and self-possessed and even ambitious, which blows my mind; I've had a number of relationships that fell apart because the person came up with the fantasy that I was this bad bitch and then they were disappointed that I'm actually really vulnerable and nervous and incompetent. I'm not completely sure what that's about, but I think it could be partially a "social cues" problem; like sometimes I don't realize that I'm being inappropriately harsh until it's too late, and other times I'm like daring myself to be more honest and frank because I think that I'm too meek and it's not normal and people don't like that and I should practice having more self-confidence...and then I'm mortified when I find out the hard way that I was being inappropriate. But the one thing I can probably say without reservation is that I have a great sense of humor. It's like my prized possession, an incredible survival tool, and it keeps me entertained even when I have nothing else.
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Fictober 2023
Prompt number #22 Fanfiction Fandom: Flash Rogues Rating: T – Teen and up Warnings: A creepy guy.
Day Twenty-Two: “Who takes care of you?”
The neighbour knocked at the door with some hesitation. She didn’t know the man who lived there, after all, but he did have a reputation for being strange and rude. She’d only seen him twice before, and one of those times he’d leered at her.
But she was a social worker, and she thought it good to help the people around her whenever possible. Maybe the man was just misunderstood.
The door swung open, and Alvin grinned when he saw who it was. “Yeah?” he greeted her, scratching his rear end for an uncomfortably long time.
“Hi, I’m your neighbour Deborah, and I thought it’d be nice to get to know each other,” she said politely, offering a hand to shake despite the scratching. Alvin laughed delightedly.
“Sure, come right in. I’m Doctor Albert Desmond, scientist-at-large.”
Unfortunately, Deborah didn’t know him well enough to realize that he’d given the name of his unlucky twin, as he so often did. She smiled and stepped inside, though the smile became strained once she saw what a mess the place was.
“Siddown and I’ll get you a beer!” Alvin chortled, heading into the kitchen to grab a few cans. She grimaced when she saw a large pile of dirty magazines on the coffee table, but decided it wasn’t her place to judge.
She sat down on the couch and noticed some underwear wedged between the cushions, though she couldn't tell whether it was clean or not. But Alvin then tossed himself onto the seat next to her and offered a can of cheap lager, which at least was still fully sealed.
“So, you said you’re a scientist? What do you do?” she asked kindly.
“Eh, I’m a jack of all trades, really. I work for people who’re willing to pay cash, and do my own research on the side. I’m trying to develop a vaccine for crabs!” he said with great enthusiasm.
The look on his face suggested that he wasn’t trying to save marine life, but the work would probably help people and for that she was glad. Besides, at least he wasn’t cooking drugs, and he seemed far too slovenly to become any kind of so-called “supervillain”. She’d met a few of those in her line of work, one of whom had lived in her last building before it was destroyed in a battle with the Justice League.
She might have had some quibbles with supervillains.
“How long have you lived here?” she asked.
“Oh, I dunno. I think they forgot I’m here, `cause they don’t charge me rent. Or maybe that’s because I turned the super’s desk into salt a while back!” He laughed so hard at this that she frowned with concern; he didn’t seem stable, or to have much grasp on reality. Maybe she and her colleagues really would need to intervene.
“Who takes care of you, Albert? Do you have anyone in your life to check on you, and make sure you’re okay?”
He seemed puzzled. “Whaddya mean? I'm a bachelor, living a wild swinging single-guy life! Nobody tells me what to do!”
“So, um, I’m going to give you the number of somebody who can help, and he’ll come over to talk to you later this week,” she said evenly as she scribbled a phone number on a piece of paper. He took it and stared.
“Is this some kind of therapy thing? Because I don’t do therapy anymore.”
“We just want to make sure you’re all right.”
He sighed, and looked genuinely regretful.
“So, this is gonna end in one of two ways: I give you lots of gold to make you scram, or I threaten you and/or actually turn you into salt to make you gone. So I guess that’s really one of three ways, sorry. Which is it gonna be?”
“Albert, I…”
He pulled the Philosopher’s Stone from his pocket, and suddenly the cheap wooden coffee table became sodium. Then it was tungsten. Then it was transformed into pure helium, quickly dissipating into the atmosphere.
“Crap, now I need another table,” he muttered under his breath. “Anyway, the point is, I can do it and I mean it. I think you’re hot, so I’m giving you a choice most people don’t get. What’s it gonna be?”
“…I’ll take the gold, and I’m going to move out right away. You won’t hear from me again.”
She absolutely meant it.
“That’s my girl!” he grinned, and clapped his hands triumphantly. “You made the right call, and I’ll give ya all the gold you can carry. But just between you and me, d’you have any interest in the ol’ slap n’ tickle?”
She tried very intently to keep her face neutral lest he take offence. “Um, no thank you.”
“Too bad, you’re a total babe. Well, a deal’s a deal.”
Alvin searched for the remnants of his half-eaten lunch and turned them into solid gold, and he grabbed a few of his least-favourite magazines and subjected them to the same fate.
“They’ll melt down as well as any gold bar,” he shrugged when she gave him a funny look. But right now she didn’t care about all the weirdness anymore, and hurried to the exit with her heavy gleaming burden.
“You know where I am if you change your mind about the tickles!” he called as she speed-walked to her apartment and slammed the door behind her.
She took a deep breath once she felt (mostly) safe. She was going to pack a few things, head to a motel, and hire movers to take the rest of her possessions away as soon as possible. The gold would pay for a new start in life, and it was time to leave the city of Keystone and its madness far behind.
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My bullshit summary of the Interdarshan Championship Part 1 (spoilers obv)
Nilou: Yay! I am one of the two hosts for the competition, which fits in with my character and I am naturally good at being personable! I wonder who I’ll be paired up with? Maybe Kaveh because he’s the featured 4-star or Dehya because everyone is in love with her AND that would symbolize the fact that the rainforest part of Sumeru is becoming more inclusive! There’s my partner, and it’s...oh.
Al-Haitham: Listen this is literally my last duty before they’re finally letting me step down they said that if I agreed to do this they would let me go back to being the scribe please I am literally begging you to just let this happen I will pay you my share if you just let me chill out.
Nilou: Oh...ok! I’ll provide the commentary and you’ll provide the akademiya-ish side of things....great...
Nilou, to the side: Can somebody please get another reporter holy shit.
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Dehya and Candace: We are lesbians and we are on a date.
Everyone: Yay! Will you be relevant?
Dehya and Candace: Not particularly but we will manage to become a highlight regardless.
Everyone: Good enough for me!
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Announcer lady: Introducing the representatives~
Tighnari - We are fairly certain he is actively committing academic crimes but the General Mahamatra refuses to do anything about it + everyone likes him
Kaveh - The featured 4-star babygirl who is trauma dumping and is going through a really rough patch in his life. Instead of sending him to therapy or providing him with other assistance, we sent him to the same competition which has killed people before including maybe his dad. There is no way this can backfire, especially when weird ghosts are showing up.
Layla - The closest thing we have to a normal human being, and she isn’t even human
Faruzan - Girly at this point just hire a PR rep if you want students this badly, this is getting embarrassing
Cyno - We put a TCG card into the mix because we know it’s his special interest and we needed to give him a reason to show up
LilBiotch - His name is Hat Guy now because none of you can behave
Anyways, what was that about weird ghosts? I don’t care and neither should you! This won’t lead anywhere bad, don’t worry. Go catch a speedy butterfly. We have totally leveled the playing field by creating a challenge that directly involves biological and technological creations, this gives nobody a distinct advantage we promise.
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Tighnari: Wow it appears that I may have a distinct advantage. Anyways, look at this cool method for catching butterflies. I’ll give y’all a free lecture so that my new VA can show off his chops.
Everyone: Wow we love you Tighnari and new Tighnari VA. We will sign up for your seminar that is technically not allowed to occur and you DEFINITELY should not be promoting it at an event sanctioned by the akademiya, but it’s ok.
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Layla: oh no! i am lost! oh no! i will go chase the butterfly!
Dehya and Candace: We are on a date!
Layla: i have chased the butterfly onto dehya now let me catch it
Dehya with a butterfly on her hair: *Becomes even prettier*
Me: AH FUCK SORRY LAYLA YOU CAN’T TAKE IT FROM HER PLEASE
Dehya: Oh, here you go! Anyways, people are acting suspicious. I say this as though we’ve ever seen a Sumeru where people weren’t CONSTANTLY acting suspicious.
Layla: ok. i will probably be irrelevant to that plot line, but i appreciate the knowledge regardless. thank you dehya and candace for showing up.
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Dori: HEYA SOME SHADY SHIT IS GOING DOWN
Me: What no way oh darn /s
Dori: For the low, low price of hearing about shit you don’t care about, I will give you the information!
Me: What’s the reward?
Dori: Primogems probably.
Me: *Sigh* You are so lucky your VA is as cool and good as they are.
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Kaveh and Faruzan: What do you mean there can’t be two second-place winners?
Al-Haitham: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?! GOD WHY ARE YOU ALL SO (enters old bickering couple mode with Kaveh)
Nilou: Hahaha, this is fine :-) I was totally given a fair position :-) I will go get the lots :-) Both me and Al-Haitham can be relevant and I am not being neglected in favor of him during an event where I am the featured 5-star for part of it :-) I am super glad I did this :-)
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Announcer Lady: Wow, it seems that two of the people who won were the person focused on biology and the person focused on technology (though he basically gave up his points even after Faruzan offered them because...wait why did he do that). It seems that our competition was actually less balanced than we thought.
Me: Yeah no shit
Announcer Lady: So our next competition will be held in the desert!
Me, looking at poor Tighnari who is gonna be going through it + Cyno and Faruzan who have both spent a good amount of time in the desert: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
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Like 8 NPCs: OH NO THERE ARE THINGS HAPPENING ABOUT *insert dude’s name here*
Me: I literally do not care. I forget the guy’s name and I don’t even wanna look it up. I will take your rewards, though. Baizhu is right around the corner.
#genshin impact#kaveh#alhaitham#al-haitham#al haitham#faruzan#layla#tighnari#cyno#dehya#candance#wanderer#scaramouche#nilou#I hope they do more with her in future stuff#because she is just stuck as second-fiddle to Al-Haitham and Kaveh's drama#Tighnari is gonna fucking die next installment isn't he??#RIP Tighnari you would've loved diary of a whimpy kid
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PARTIES: @dirtwatchman and @vanoincidence TIME: Early October WHERE: Nichol's Funeral Home SUMMARY: Van comes over to see Erin but finds Caleb working in the yard instead. The two have a talk. WARNINGS: Parental/Familial death mentions.
Ever since she and Erin’s conversation in her living room, Van had been on edge. She still wasn’t sure what to say about the melted table, knowing that honesty was out the window. She couldn’t tell the only adult left in her life from the before times about what was happening to her, not if she didn’t want to keep living freely. The last thing she needed was for Erin to think she was going crazy. Still, there was a strange sense of comfort that came with knowing she was cared about, even if it frustrated her. So she showed up at the Nichols’ Funeral Home with the intention of telling Erin that she was completely fine and back in therapy.
It was a lie, of course. But as soon as she got through to the front gate, she noticed that Erin’s car was not in the driveway. Instead, she saw Caleb out by one of the trees, gloved and on his knees, ripping out what she could only assume to be weeds. Van felt the weight of the spicy pickle she was holding onto for later in her bag and she sighed, deciding that if she was going to pay him a visit, not to come empty handed. “I have a spicy pickle with your name on it.” She paused. “That’s a lie, it had my name on it, in sharpie, but I’m giving it to you.” She stumbled over the raised mounds of dirt that were cast behind Caleb and she leaned down, digging into her bag to hand it over to him. “You’re weeding?” She looked at the base of the tree, nodding in approval (as if it mattered what she thought). “Great technique.”
With everything going on with the side job, Caleb was ashamed to say that he’d been neglecting some of the duties he had at the Nichols funeral home. When he’d gone by that morning to drop off some paperwork and noticed the weeds getting out of control he’d felt so bad that he’d put off some of his other plans to start doing some of the yard work. This place had to be presentable even if it was a place that most people would consider creepy with housing the dead and all. Erin had left earlier that day, something that Caleb should have been taking full advantage of with the cold storage free for the brain snatching but he could do that another time as this was atrocious.
Van’s voice cut through his thoughts, making the zombie jump and realize he probably shouldn’t have had his back to the driveway. No telling who the hell would walk up behind him. Caleb was just lucky that this time it was someone he knew. “You really should announce yourself when you’re walking up to somebody. What if I was someone who hit first and asked questions later when scared?” Something that would never be true. Caleb was not a fighter by nature but there were others out there that most definitely were.
Caleb smiled up at her though, definitely intrigued by the spicy pickle she had mentioned. He turned to sit, taking his gloves off before reaching out and taking the pickle from her. “How about I not be greedy and we can share it? I wouldn’t want to take the whole thing from you.” Looking around them at her question, he nodded, squinting when he looked back up at her. “Yea, it was getting pretty bad out here. I haven’t done it in a while, I’ve been a little busy. Are you busy today or do you want to stick around and help?”
“What were you going to do, throw some dirt at me?” Really, she wouldn’t put it past him. Van arched a brow and looked over his shoulder at the mess he had created. It’d turn into something nice soon enough, she was sure of it. Van knelt down next to him as he offered to share and she shrugged. “No, you’re good. I’ve got like, three more in the fridge back at home.” It wasn’t really home, but she didn’t need to dive into the intricacies of losing her home to the goo and how she was staying with a doctor she barely knew. If anything, he might just worry like Erin did, or become upset that she hadn’t asked him for help instead.
“You want me to weed?” A deep frown formed at the corners of her mouth and she let out a dramatic sigh. “I guess I can help, but only because you’re like, cool and not some weirdo.” She pulled her bag off of her shoulder and set it to the side, uncaring if it got dirt on it. “Where do I even start? It looks like a gopher got into this place.” She tossed a clump of weeds away from where she knelt and grabbed another handful, ripping it from the ground. “Do you like doing this stuff? I don’t know why.”
“I have a tiny gardening shovel and I’m not afraid to use it.” He lifted the tool up for emphasis, waving it a little before it was abandoned in favor of the pickle still waiting on him to devour. He’d eaten so much regular food lately that it was starting to become a habit again. Still, the idea of not sharing with her when he didn’t even need it didn’t sit right with him. He’d learned long ago that it was futile to argue with Van though and this was such a little thing to start one over that he didn’t see the point. So, he bit into it, savoring the spice that came with the otherwise bland treat. “Thank you for this. I forgot to eat lunch.” A lie. Caleb was getting better at those, wasn’t he?
“Only if you want to. I’m not going to force you into hard labor.” He had to laugh at her comment. It had been comical in the first place but he also knew how weird he actually was whereas Van didn’t get to see much of that from him. Not many people had. “Being called cool by Van Zhou is basically a highlight. If only people could recognize that about me in high school.” Caleb watched her start pulling the extra weeds he hadn’t gotten to, the pickle slowly dwindling down as he continued to munch on it while considering her question. “I mean, it’s my job, but yea I do like it. I like the peace. But I also like being helpful, I guess. If I can make Erin’s life easier by taking on the gardening here then that’s a good day for me.” That went for any help he gave people. It made him less anxious, like there was a reason he was in these people’s lives. “Do you like serving pizza?”
Van looked at the shovel that Caleb held, nodding. “Okay, yeah, I guess that would hurt.” Maybe she should heed his warning. Van leaned down and waved her hand over some of the already pulled weeds, feeling the edges of their leaves tickling her palm. She pulled back and looked over at Caleb as he gave thanks for the pickle and she waved it away, hand pushing through the space between them, fingers wiggling. “You don’t need to thank me, but you owe me a pickle like, later on or something.” She grinned at him before putting her hands on her hips, arching a brow.
“Just because you know me so well and know that I hate being outside doesn’t mean I won’t help.” It did mean that she would silently complain about it, but she was down for helping somebody out, especially somebody who was kind to her, all things considered. She yanked another clump of weeds and tossed them to the side where a pile was already forming. It seemed like monotonous work, but the kind that made time go by fast. Van pulled another clump, looking over at Caleb as he spoke. “Yeah, I guess Erin deserves to have it easy, huh? She gave me a phone after mine broke and she always makes sure I have something to eat… does she do that with you, too?” Caleb was a lot older than herself, but it seemed like Erin had it in her to care about pretty much anyone. At his question, she shook her head. “No, I hate it, but um, it pays the bills or whatever old people say.” Another clump, and then another. She wiped her hands on the grass and pulled another before sighing. “Helping Erin is cool and all, but this like, sucks. Don’t your hands get sore?”
It would more than hurt, the thought crossed his mind as he glanced over at the gardening tool again. Shove that thing in someone’s neck and they were a goner. Maybe that was something he shouldn’t mention. Raising an eyebrow at her comment, he bypassed the talk about the shovel in favor of a playful retort. “So, this wasn’t out of the goodness of your heart? The reluctance should have given that away, my bad.” Despite his teasing, Caleb made a mental note to pick a few up for her next time he was at the store. Even if she hadn’t been serious it would still be a nice thing to do.
He chuckled before taking another bite of the pickle in hand, wondering why Van even wanted to help in the first place. “Well, thank you very much, Van. I know this must be torture for you so it’s heartwarming that you would do this for me.” Caleb was half serious as he said it, watching her pull another clump from the ground before he scarfed the rest of the pickle so he could join her. As he pulled on a stubborn weed, he couldn’t help the genuine smile forming as the conversation shifted to how giving Erin was, a trait he knew that had been passed down. “She does, actually. Did I ever tell you that her dad took me in just like she took you in? It wasn’t exactly the same but I think he’s the reason I’m still here. The whole family is amazing.”
He pulled at a few more as Van spoke, now wondering how long he had actually neglected this task. It seemed Caleb needed to be more aware of his schedule. “Us old people also think we should be miserable just to pay bills. I thought the younger generation knew the value of not torturing yourselves.” Something he admired. He loved that people were taking care of themselves more these days. “Have you ever thought about looking for something else? There are other jobs that can pay the bills.” He laughed as he tossed another handful of weeds to the pile, shaking his head. “They used to. But callouses start to help and once your muscles get used to it the pain is pretty much gone. I don’t even think about it anymore.”
Van mocked Caleb by sticking her tongue out at him. She liked to do things for people, even if she didn’t actually want to do them. She was a little bit selfish, but the people in her life deserved assistance purely for putting up with her bullshit. Caleb was one of those people. They lived on the outskirts of one another’s lives, but he was in her peripherals often enough with the involvement of Erin that she felt like she knew him. Plus, in recent years, she felt like she really got to talk to him more. Maybe it was because she’d become an adult.
Caleb’s presence made Van look up, and a part of her feared that maybe he would tell her she was doing it all wrong, but instead there was a comfortable silence that fell between them. The kind that she didn’t feel the need to fill, which, in Van’s case, was pretty rare. “Wait, really?” She raised a brow. She hadn’t considered that. “I don’t think I ever met her dad. If I did, I don’t… really remember it.” Van had been consumed with a lot of her own stuff, so much so that up until her grandma left, she didn’t see a whole lot of Erin. In recent years, though, they’d become closer, and it was something she was thankful for. “That’s really nice of him, and I guess it’s nice of Erin to keep you around.” She grinned at him, scooching over slightly in case he tried to lash out.
“See, like, I’d love to not torture myself and whatever, but the bills stack up and then I get overwhelmed.” There was a whole two months where she simply didn’t turn on the air conditioning for the sake of saving pennies. She wasn’t really sure if it’d been worth it considering how warm the house had gotten. At Caleb’s question, she rolled her shoulders. “I mean, sure, like, a little bit.” Erin had asked her the same thing, and so had Dr. Kavanagh. There were a slew of people questioning why she was still at Sly Slice. “Rocky lets me pick my own hours and that’s really nice… that’s why I stick around, I think.” That, and the fear that nobody else will ever hire her. Van looked over at Caleb’s hands as he commented on his callouses, “I think I got a callous on my pinky once.” She paused for a brief moment, pulling another weed, “from holding my phone weird while playing Candy Crush.” She lifted her hand and stuck out her pinky for Caleb to see. “Or wait, maybe that’s more of a dent, actually.” She squinted at it with a frown before returning to the menial task of pulling weeds. “So like, not super different from you I guess.”
Rolling his eyes at her playful gesture, the zombie slowly let his smile slip as he continued on. “You missed out then…he was a good man.” He didn’t mean for the quiet grief to take over but Caleb averted his eyes to the ground so that he didn’t have to look at Van as the moment passed. It was still hard without Jack there but it was also nice to appreciate the people who were still around. “I didn’t have the best home life and Jack recognized that…mostly because I was hanging out in his cemetery at midnight more often than not. He spoke to me one night, I told him what was going on, and I think he gave me a job to keep an eye on me and let me have an excuse to get out of the house more.” He grinned right back at Van, shaking his head at the comment but grateful to move back into a more playful territory. “No, you’re right. It is nice of her to put up with me.”
Caleb paused his movements to look over at her, concern starting to sprout in his chest. Why did she remind him so much of him and yet the two were wildly different in so many ways? “If you ever need help, all you have to do is ask, Van. I know Erin helps you out but I’m around too. Just…you know, just in case.” If she were anything like him when it came to money or gifts though she wouldn’t ask easily. Still, the offer was there. The last thing he wanted was to see her suffer. She was Aria’s friend, Erin cared about her, but he did too and he would readily help in situations that helped ease the financial burden even if that meant making his own worse.
In an attempt to make this less awkward on his end, he pulled another weed, willing to let her drop it if she wanted to. Luckily a distraction came in the form of her shoving her pinky in his face. Unluckily, it only deepened his concern for the girl. “Yea maybe you should limit your phone time. That’s a crater. How long do you have to hold your phone for that to happen?” He was staring at it before she moved it away to continue working with him and Caleb mumbled as he pulled the last of the weeds on his side. “I don’t know if they’re similar. I’m not technologically advanced enough to know how machinery affects the body.”
The way that Caleb spoke about Erin made her a little jealous. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because Erin had dedicated a lot of time to her, and the idea that she might dedicate it to others, too, meant that she wasn’t the priority. Though, hadn’t she fought against the idea that she should be? She hated the concern that crossed over the older woman’s features. Van listened to Caleb as he spoke, her earlier jealousy disintegrating as soon as he explained why he was so close to Erin. Or rather, her father, and then her by proxy. “That was nice of him.” It reminded her of the way that Erin had taken her in, or at least tried. If only she’d really let her.
Van picked at the dried skin at the edge of her thumb, gaze fixating on the clumps of weeds at Caleb’s side. His comment pulled her back and she shook her head. “I like it better when you make fun of me.” It was easier that way. It was harder with the people who knew her, better with the people who didn’t. Nora, Cass, Thea… they knew her darkest secret, or at least part of it. But people like Caleb and Erin, they knew everything that came before that, and she found that more terrifying than the former. She flexed her fingers, dusting away some of the dead skin as it peeled beneath her nail. “Thanks though, I um… I really appreciate that.” She offered a small smile.
But like all things, it was easy to fall into the rhythm of something less cruel. She frowned at his comment and rolled her eyes. “Just because you don’t know how to play Candy Crush doesn’t mean you need to talk about how long I do or don’t hold my phone, you know.” She reached into the dirt, uprooting another weed before tossing into the still growing pile. Van snorted at his admission of technology ineptness. “Look… technology isn’t even that hard. You don’t still have a flip phone, do you? Like, one of those old ones from the early 2000’s?”
Caleb let her comment linger in the air for a moment but didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. Jack was one of the nicest people he’d ever met and he was glad that legacy was living on through the ones that cared most for him but he didn’t think he could keep going without the emotion taking over completely. It made him feel better that he wasn’t the only one vulnerable though, his lips pulling up into a smile at how she liked less emotion in their talks. He did too, but she needed to know that he was there if needed and now that she did it could pass. Their snark could live on. “Of course.”
It was then that he pulled one of the last weeds out of the ground, his scoff of laughter accentuating the motion. “You’ve deformed your finger for a phone game, I don’t think you have any room to judge me. What if I don’t want to know how to play Candy Crust?” Picking up a garbage bag, Caleb started to throw the weeds they’d pulled into it as he continued. “No, I don’t have a flip phone. I’m not that bad. But I do remember those and if you don’t appreciate the iconic flip to end a bad conversation we can’t be friends anymore.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re out here helping me. Some fresh air and physical labor is good for you.” The zombie gave her a pointed look as his mind went back to what the late 90’s/early 00’s was like. Kids played outside, people connected a lot easier despite not having a handheld computer readily available. It was a good era and not appreciated enough by the younger generations. Old man Caleb was coming out to play. “Plus Snake will beat your Candy Crust any day.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to know how to play Candy Crush? It’s a great game, Caleb.” The tone that Van spoke with was of high importance, and she stared at him ublinking, challenging him to disagree with her. If he did, she didn’t really care– she just thought it was a little funny. It was nice, not being so in her head, and with people like Caleb, people who knew her, but not everything… it made it easier to digest being in their presence.
“You have a face of somebody who looks like they’d have a flip phone though, has anyone ever told you that?” She grinned at him before stuffing some of the weeds into the garbage bag, frowning as one caught on some of the dry skin of her hand. She shoved it into the bag and got to her feet. “They make them now, I think people want to like, relive the flip-phone era or something.” She’d been thinking about getting one, but she wasn’t fond of Android systems, plus she wasn’t really in the market for choosing her new phone.
She rolled her eyes at Caleb’s comment before leaning down to shove the rest of the weeds she had uprooted into the bag, patting some back inside as she moved the bag too quickly and they nearly spilled out. Van blew some hair out of her face, exhaling dramatically. “Candy Crush, and I know what Snake is. I could beat you at that, too.” Wiping her hands off on the backs of her pants, she looked down at her pile, satisfied that she had managed to clear it. Maybe a part of what Caleb said was right– about the outdoors, fresh air, manual labor… she hated it though, and she wanted to go inside. She’d had enough. All this talk of Candy Crush made her wish she was tapping away on her screen right now. “I think we should be done for today, do you think so?”
“Maybe because you want me to know it so badly.” His eyes widened playfully with a teasing smile pulling at his lips. In truth, Caleb didn’t have the time for games anymore. Being undead was supposed to mean an eternity to do what you wanted but for him it just meant more time to work. Even if his aging had stopped, that didn’t mean his landlord didn’t expect his rent to be paid. But it wouldn’t be a day in the life of Van and Caleb if they didn’t tease each other and he couldn’t let her have all of the fun.
“You know what? I’m going to take that as a compliment. I know you think that’s some kind of insult but I like my generation.” The implication of not enjoying hers settled between them as he gave her a satisfied smirk. It wasn’t often that he was comfortable enough with someone to joke around like this but things with Van had always been easy. Besides, she started it. “That’s because they were awesome. I’ve been telling you this, you don’t listen.” He watched her carefully as she started to fiddle with the bag, the zombie reaching out and taking it from her after the first almost spill. He didn’t want her carrying it anyway…or drag if he were being honest. “You probably could, not even going to lie. And yea, I think this is good for now. It looks presentable, at least.” He took the bag over to the bed of his truck before turning to her and nodding his head toward the house. “Let’s see if Mrs. Nichols has anything cold to drink. I think you earned something refreshing.” And a few spicy pickles. Reaching up, Caleb ruffled her hair if only to annoy her further as they walked up to the house, his arm resting comfortably over her shoulder. “Good work, Van.”
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So... continuing to learn that many of my quirks and hang-ups are actually ASD
I don't feel like I was an overly self-aware child... but maybe that's a common phenomenon. I do remember in elementary school that one of my friends remarked on how slowly I wrote. Typically 2-3 times slower than everyone else. Later, like... high-school or after, my mom told me that when I was younger I was actually given extended time for test-taking. In fact they recommended to her that I be tested for... something.... She told me that if the school wants a student tested for something, the school has to pay for it, so... instead, they recommend to parents that they get their child tested for... whatever.... We could not afford it at the time, so I just have never gotten diagnosed for anything.
Grandma was a psychologist though and thought... thinks? I have... something. I think she's a bit off her rocker and too many decades off from the current research to be diagnosing me with anything. Especially after all the "meet my eyes when I'm talking to you", attempts to force me to interact socially with strangers, and that one time she tricked me into a therapy session because she thought I was depressed. Nothing came of that session. I have since tried to tell her "I'm an introvert, social interaction exhausts me" ("I know you "think" you're an introvert..."), "I'm not dating anyone, I'm not interested, I'm probably ace-aro" ("I don't believe that's a real thing..."), "I'm probably autistic... I found this test in the papers you were throwing out and I scored..., which is high enough that it indicates I am autistic, but I think my score would actually be higher based on research I've done that indicates that autism expresses itself differently in girls than boys...." (she notably gave no response to this assertion).
I have at this point done quite a lot of reading on autism, some studies, some blogs, etc.
And... it just makes me feel known.
I can't remember faces well, maybe it's because I tend more often to look over peoples' shoulders? Oh, well... there are a multitude of articles about how some ASD people tend to have difficulties with that.
I am frequently quite photosensitive and some sounds cause me something equivalent to physical discomfort/pain. ASD's got that covered.
Difficulty reading tone, difficulty emoting (I have on multiple accounts, independent of each other, been told I reminded people of Data or Spock because of the way I talk and the way I act), tendency to take things literally, distaste for acting outside what I consider "okay", hyperfixation, visual and emotion based thinking, atypical pattern-recognition skills, etc.....
There are just terms for things I've experienced that made me feel like I was failing or held back even though to all appearances I am relatively... functional (for lack of a better word).
Executive dysfunction Task paralysis Demand avoidance Auditory processing disorder
Like currently I am experiencing so many things associated with autistic burnout it's not even funny. I'm just anxious, borderline depressed, it's a struggle to move to the next stage of projects I both want and need to work on, I don't want to talk to anybody, I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me or ask me to do anything.
Uuuuuuuuuurgh. Maybe I just need to go and actually talk to somebody at my college and be like "surprise, I'm autistic!!!!" But it's not actually a freaking surprise because a properly diagnosed classmate from my second semester was like "yo, I'm diagnosed and I've got to say... you give major ASD vibes, it makes you easy to talk to."
Like... "what? Thanks? You too? Are easy to talk to...."
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She a nice person.....
So many people are so judgy these days. Huey gotta make sure to remind Lyney to show her some leeway in future screw up. He frankly think her uniqueness to good to be changed.
(Jeez are you this compliment starve Huey?)
"Hey again. Trial period and if nothing works i have a secret hidden job just for you. Let's start you off with ser-"
Just as Huey about to clap his hand and simulate a typical monday at a resturant. Her comment about the picture cause him to pause.
The painting? He thought he....Huey scan the mess of paper pile as he found it. Bury deep under some of the plumbing permits and electricity permit.
Oh right the painting he was planning to hang private in his room. Of course he going to code lock his door once his office is set up. Since Isola don't have transferable picture from your home. Huey had to commission a painter to paint a scene from his head by memories.
Huey got a pretty good memory. Hey idiot she still looking for you to respond? Gas light or give her a half truth?
"Yeah. Every important looking place have the office hang a cool picture right? Since i can't acess to the cloud or my photo from my home world. I had to pay a guy to paint this. Tipped generously also."
It's TECHNICALLY true.
"And yeah it is me. Me and my older brother William. Our...parents kinda abandoned us as kids. We had to survive though the foster care system with people more intersted in the money then us. The Ponzi name was a curse. I had Will and Will had me. We were smarmy little scamps as kids and did all sort of crazy shit together. We know we were nobody so together we were gonna be somebody. Our first con for travel fee was knicking some spoil teenager car. Asshole been crashing his thing and keep getting mommy and daddy to pay off the cops and buy new ones. Stole it from him in the middle of the date. Dude so hooked on alcohol he didn't realize two seven year old brat got the best of him...got my first suit out the job. Foreign cars really do be worth a lot."
Unlike his other stories. This don't feel as heroic yet feel more....real. This is something he rather enjoyed. The little smirk on the corner of Huey lips as he having a flash back for just a second. The chuckle that even after all these years. It's still a bit of pride in his work. Those eyes of his look just a bit sad though. It's almost like it's a memory of joy but also sorrow. The One Who carry on....this relate back to his brother don't it?
Huey drawing the attention from the painting. He...can't fully get into it today.
"Anyway enough about me. Get a note pad and let's start. STAFF SIMULATE MONDAY! We have a new trainee with us! Be nice to her and teach her the basics of serve."
A model size number of waitress stand in a row and began to disperse as some of the workers sit down in booth.
"Well let's see how you do Ramy. And if you get over whelm you can say stop whenever okay? And don't feel bad about failing. Nobody perfect the first time."
Huey send her off as she going to get a taste of what it's like to be in the server business. A dark thought he swore he bury with therapy and a shit ton of booze resurface as he continue to watch Ramthiel trying her best.
Your not telling her the full truth are you little Huey? That you got your brother killed. The painting is you trying to bury those bad memories deep deep down because even after therapy you feel like shit. You shouldn't have been the one to be alive. William should have been here.
Intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. She don't need to worry about this. Huey a professional. He not gonna trauma dump onto Ramthiel. She probaly wouldn't care or be intersted anyway. Long as he worth something to her then she continue to bother to show up.
Isn't that what relationship is? People using each other? He using her to lived up the place and she using him to fuel her burger addiction.....he really should get her a gift card after all this.
or else what reason she have to keep visiting huh?
"And time. You just completed a hour and thirty minutes of what it like to work in the Isolan Server industry. How you feel? You okay with it?"
If Ramlethal wasn’t stunned, she would say, ‘yes, that is what you call this place, and your reasoning makes sense, but what is the name of it?’. Fortunately, she is stunned, so she never quite gets around to getting that out. Her jaw drops ever so subtly.
“Wow. I am impressed.” She goes on to say without even a smidgen of sarcasm. As if on que, a light flickers and blows out with a pathetic zzt! as she speaks, darkening where they stand even more than it already was. “It is all so dismal and dismissible. And yet you’ve made it your mission to improve everything about it despite the odds. Incredible. You really are a very driven person, Huey. And a…hm. I need to think of the word. Oh. A visionary. I cannot wait to see what is you want to show me on top of here.”
He goes on to list the different functions of the establishment, and she takes it all in, thinks it all over, never once interjecting. There is much to consider, but she is willing to try everything he suggests. Everything except the role of a mechanic, for although Mother did provide her with technological knowledge, it was neither for this kind of technology nor did it have anything to do with repairing it.
Her thoughts are interrupted when Huey pauses-his gaze distracted by something on the table. A picture of two humans. One of them very much resembles him. They looked happy. Created for Huey Makoto Ponzi. The One Who Carry On, it is written.
Quickly she answers his question. “I will try out all positions except mechanic.” And she means exactly that. Then, just as quick as that answer, she moves back to the previous subject of interest. The one that has just gone unspoken.
“What is that a picture of? Is it you?” For an indicator, she extends her bandaged up arm and points to exactly what it is she is talking about. "It looks important."
#lethalramfication#Huey bury his depression guilt and mental issue DEEP behind that Han Solo mask#He trying VERY hard to imitate what William would do for him as a kid#Gonna take effort and a few thread to break though that tough mask of his
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Hello! I love the headcanons you make! If it's okay I would like to request a headcanon! Basically, the reader goes up to the overblot gang and ask them for money for their therapy session since reader is basically a therapist to everyone in NRC. (And if you wanted Crowley too because reader isn't working for free!) Thank you~!
✿。THERAPIST FOR HIRE — ꒰ TWST ꒱
overblot gang + crowley when reader asks for compensation from being everybody's therapist!
— warnings/reader: gn! reader, spoilers for basically who overblots, unedited
— characters: riddle, leona, azul, crowley + two others
✿。 riddle — he isn't fazed by you asking for money, come on, ace and deuce have probably already done that many times before. but what the money was for was shocking to him. him? therapy? no, he's perfectly fine, he insists.
— when you explain that you already had the session after his overblot, he'll grow slightly embarrassed and realize what you're getting at. if you bother him enough, he will actually give you money. he says it's to get you to be quiet, but in truth, he does feel a little bad that you have to run around being a therapist for not just him, but everybody else in nrc.
✿。 leona — you think you're a therapist? leona disagrees! the moment you demand the money, explaining that it's for your therapy session, leona just scoffs. he'll tease you by saying that your therapy session should've happened before he went into overblot! — again, like riddle, bother him enough, and he will give in. name your price and he'll give it. he just wants to nap in peace but well.. it wouldn't be very good of him to get mad at his "therapist" even if you aren't a legitimate one.
✿。 azul — you were crazy to expect him to even listen to your ask for compensation in the first place! he'll tell you that he thought therapy was supposed to be effective, but then later go to you and ask to vent like... obviously, your therapy must be doing something if he keeps coming back! — he might slide some money your way. he did trouble you a lot with the entire overblot thing and you know, enslaving your friends. he'll say something like "don't expect much," then gives you a lot more than you expected.
✿。 jamil — no way is he giving you money! he may actually make you a meal though.. but don't go telling others about it because this is just for the trouble he caused you. trust me, he's used to having to deal with somebody else causing trouble whether it was unintentional or not, so he feels somewhat bad that you need to run around providing therapy for every student. — now, will he help you coerce other overblot members into paying you for the helpful therapy session that you provided them with? yes, he will. it's the most he can do.
✿。 vil — he's also sort of embarrassed once you continued explaining. he does feel somewhat guilty, even though he understands your lightheartedly joking. he won't necessarily cough up the money, but he'll repay you in his own way! — he admits that he definitely owes you for being a great help to him, so expect him to ask if it's all right to do your makeup or hair! he'll ask you how you want it done too.
✿。 crowley — although he does appreciate your work around the nrc, why would he pay you! he's already letting you stay on campus, providing food, your basic necessities... don't you see how selfless and generous he already is!! — but... if you offer to open genuine therapy sessions with students, he might reconsider. you know, it's been hard having to explain the increasing number of overblotting students to the general public. maybe then, and only then, will he slide some money your way!
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland headcanon#twst#twst hcs#twst headcanons#twst azul#twst leona#twst jamil#twst vil#twst crowley#twst riddle
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•Close Call•
Summary🪄: Brynn and Ali’s planning session nearly gets discovered; Ari nearly has a heart attack
⚠️: pretty much all fluff, mentions of puberty and all the fun stuff that comes along with it, mention of porn (just the word though)
A/N🎙: A quick, funny (at least to me) idea I had including the Operation: Rekindle girls! Hope you guys like it☺️!
“Okay if we’re gonna get mom and dad back together we need a plan,” Aliana states opening Ari’s laptop. Good thing he was at work pretty much all day so they could openly brainstorm ideas and research what they needed.
“And to do that, we need to know how to get couples back together,” Brynn adds sitting beside her with a large bag of hot fries—how they could comfortably and willingly eat them Ari would never know. There’s silence as both just look at the colorful Google page peering back at them. The cursor blinking in the search bar as they munch and occasionally scratch their respective heads.
“Anything?”
“Nope. You?,” Ali asks.
“If you don’t, you know I don’t. Somebody should’ve figured it out though, all this time.
Quickly swiping her hands on her shorts dusting off the remaining hot flakes, Brynn’s slender fingers carefully tap against the black keys before she’s hitting enter and receiving thousands of hits. Majority of them links to articles from magazines while some were book advertisements guaranteeing to help with a successful marriage and relationship.
“If couples are experiencing more arguments and disagreements than usual, therapy sessions with a certified marriage counselor/relationship expert may be needed and are highly encouraged. They don’t argue though, so I doubt they need therapy.”
“And I’m glad they don’t. I don’t have enough birthday money saved to pay $150 per session,” Ali states lightly pushing her sister’s hands out the way so she can type.
“How..to get…people..together…that should be,” she reads aloud hitting enter. “Party planning? No. Planning an event with a large group of people…no, why do all these things keep talking about planning a party?! That’s literally nowhere in what I typed in.”
“Wait here’s something. How I got my two ‘obviously in love with each other’ friends together bingo! We have a winner,” Brynn excitedly shouts high-fiving her equally excited sister.
“Okay so first she says she invited them both to a group hangout and made them sit together.”
“Alright..we could invite mom out with us sometime. Or even just to come over and hang out?,” Brynn suggests.
“Right! Like for movie night!”
“Where we could watch her favorite movie…”
“Which is My Big Fat Greek Wedding!..,” Ali bounces holding onto Brynn’s hands. Neither one caring about the crumbs remaining on the other’s hands.
“Which also happens to be the movie they watched on one of their dates we’re geniuses!,” Brynn adds in a rush of words causing both of them to squeal.
It was a fool proof plan already! Surely leaving both of them alone to watch such a mushy romantic comedy would have them reminiscing on happier times and missing each other so much they’d have to at least think about getting back together.
“Okay so we got step one, what’s next?”
“Girls?,” Ari knocks startling Ali and Brynn so, they nearly knocked over the laptop and bag of chips.
“Um h-hold on!,” Ali shouts as she quickly slaps the computer shut and Brynn hides her Captain America notebook that held the beginnings of their plan. “Okay, come in!”
Both try to appear as if they weren’t up to anything, flashing nervous smiles while one lied on her stomach kicking her feet and the other sat against the headboard. Stepping into their room, his dad senses are on alert having seen that “innocent” look on their faces before.
“Hey dad! W-We thought you weren’t getting home until seven?,” Brynn asks.
“We were short staffed, so I decided to close up early. What were you guys up to?”
“Nothing,” both answer with a shake of their heads. Quirking his brow he steps closer noticing his laptop at the foot of Brynn’s bed and the prominent fingerprints along its surface.
“Hm…needed the laptop today?”
“Yea we were just uh…searching…stuff.”
“Okay.” That wasn’t suspicious at all. “Mind if I-?”
“No!,” they both shout causing their father to tilt his head with hands on his hips.
“Um n-not yet we mean!,” Ali quickly corrects nervously laughing with Brynn nodding beside her. “We’ll be done by tomorrow morning. Promise.”
“Now why would they need to be so secretive?,” he thought. His birthday and Father’s Day had passed. Their mother’s birthday wasn’t until later in the year, and he was sure they weren’t Christmas shopping seeing that they still depended on the both of you to do so. With no other events that warranted presents coming up, his heart nearly drops at the only other explanation that he could think of.
He knew this day would come, but this early?! His babies were only 11! Ari was sure he had three more years at least before this came up.
“Alright, this is fine. It’s not, definitely not, but hey this is part of being a dad. I’m highly capable of having this conversation with my daughters…I swear if some big headed boy is trying to pressure my angels their bodies will never be found.”
His throat feels impossibly dry—contradicting his sweaty palms—pulling the chair from the desk in the corner so he can sit near his precious girls. It feels like you both were just bringing them home in their little car seats and swaddled in matching pink blankets.
“Look guys,” he sighs raking his hand through his almond strands, “I know you’re growing up and your body is going through…changes.”
“D-Dad?,” Ali asks exchanging confused glances with her sister.
“Which is completely normal! Everybody goes through this at some point. Some early and some a little later, but either way it’s a confusing time that comes with a lot of questions.”
“Dad.” Brynn tries, but Ari’s dead set on finishing his speech.
“This is probably weird and uncomfortable, but I want you guys to know you can always come to me or your mom okay? And we prefer you do when you’re probably gonna be tempted to look up things which will lead to…um…pictures a-and videos possibly-,”
“Dad we’ve already had the sex talk,” Brynn announces.
He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or even more worried hearing that.
“You have?”
“Yea, a little after school let out mom sat us down and said that since we’re going to middle school, and becoming young women, we needed to have an ‘important conversation’.”
“Oh,” he smiles feeling his shoulders relax just a tad, “t-that’s good to hear.”
“Wait…did you think we were looking up porn?”
“What?! Nooo nonono I just..um…h-how do you know about that though?”
“Mom, again. She told us how those are movies only for adults and that if anybody tried to show us anything, we should run away and tell someone,” Aliana answers.
“Preferably a trusted adult, you, or her,” Brynn adds causing Ari to lean forward in the rolling chair with hand over his heart as he releases a harbored breath. Just when he thought he couldn’t love you any more.
“And she’s completely right. Listen to your mom, she’s the smartest woman in the world.”
“And the prettiest, which clearly explains us,” Ali states. Both flipping their curls over their shoulders while Ari deeply chuckles.
“Hey I helped a bit in that too, okay? But you’re not wrong though.”
Their quiet giggles nudging each other’s shoulder is for more than their father’s feigned hurt.
“Well, now that we’ve cleared that up I was thinking tacos for dinner. Sound good?”
“Mhmm,” they nod.
“Great!,” he claps his hands before standing to return the chair to its appropriate spot. “I’ll go ahead and get things started, you both wash your hands and come down after.”
“Got it.”
“Love you guys.”
“Love you too.”
As soon as he’s on the other side of the door, all three are chuckling to themselves and breathing sighs of relief at quite possibly the most awkward moment they’ve encountered yet. They also hope to never experience something so nerve wracking again.
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blargh.
Already debating whether this therapist is going to work out. Which is possibly a good thing if I'm resisting because I'm being challenged. But I'm concerned that her whole approach is doing "you are valid" on me. I feel like that's not really my problem, that I don't necessarily need somebody to tell me my feelings matter. I mean of course that's always a point of contention because when your feelings bring no particular consequences, then it can sure seem like they don't matter (because they really don't in any objective sense), but to me the more pressing issue is WHAT I'm having feelings about and how I grapple with that thing. You can tell me my feelings about X matter all day long and it's not going to affect what a hard time I'm having managing X in my life, and who knows maybe it will make things worse to get so excited about the validity of my feelings, I don't know if I like imagining just how much MORE anger/grief/resentment/whatever I could be experiencing if I got really into like celebrating the importance of all my feelings. Mainly though I don't think the central question of therapy, for me, is "Is it OK that I'm like this?" Frankly it has to be OK because I AM "like this", that part isn't really up for debate. I think I'm more interested in talking about WHY I'm like this, how do I make it more manageable, or maybe how do I get better at/more tolerant of the parts of life that are so hostile and alien to me. Like to use the easy example of whatever is going on with me cognitively--I'm chronically disorganized, I'm destructively clumsy, I get lost going to very familiar places, I have trouble with basic mandatory parts of adult life like filling out forms or whatever, none of this improves with practice/patience/assistance--you know, you can tell me all day long that I'm a good person and I still deserve to live, but that really has no impact on the daily suffering I experience while trying to do things. I mean what am I supposed to do about THAT, I ask you, being "valid" doesn't seem to help me cope. The valid part is just some sort of abstract concept that I can choose to subscribe to or not, like belief in god. Though actually belief in god can give you a sense of purpose, or a sense of the relative meaning of things; just liking yourself doesn't necessarily do any of that. I know plenty of people who seem to really love themselves and actually, they're just really easily insulted and entitled about everything. That seems to be not great for them or anyone around them.
This surface-level complaint is actually what caused me to quit therapy the first time; when I told that person that I was having a hard time just doing basic independent adult things, her technique was to try to convince me that I was NOT having a hard time with anything, I was just exaggerating (lying, or even hallucinating I supposed) because I have low self-esteem. Which created the incredibly destructive and surprisingly long-lasting habit of mentally cataloguing every single time I have trouble doing something, in excruciating detail, so that anyone I could tell would be forced to believe me. And actually, a lot of people don't believe me anyway, no matter what I say. Aw, there there. You're so smart though. You can do anything. Nothing is hard for you except self-acceptance. You are valid.
I'm trying to keep my mind on how desperate I felt when I decided to go back into therapy, and how hard it was to find any available therapist at all who wasn't working for a scammy startup and who wasn't a chirpy little baby who I would never be able to take seriously (or both). I'm not going to give up right away. But I cannot be paying someone to give me pep talks about how I'm OK, You're OK. I have to assert that I'm not in therapy just to be told that I'm still a nice person with good qualities, which has no effect on how hard it is for me to do things, and no effect on the CPTSD that changed my understanding of how the world works and created all sorts of maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns. There could be some value in just having an opportunity to say secret and difficult things out loud, to hear what they sound like. But I'm going to have to train this person to stop reminding me that I'm still a cool dude even if I struggle, because I don't really have a question about my value as a person. It's the struggle part I'm worried about, figuring out why it happens and learning how to cope with it.
I often bring this up, but there's an episode of [cancelled TV show] where [cancelled star] is forced to babysit for this narcissistic mom in his PTA group. Her little boy turns out to be totally demonic, eating raw meat and wreaking havoc; eventually the protagonist finds him in the tub, soaking in a pool of his own diarrhea. He explains, stone faced, that "Mommy says anything I do is OK because I love myself." That's how I'm feeling right now, like my problem is that I'm drowning in shit, and I strongly suspect that loving myself is not going to affect the level of shit that I'm in.
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reverse reverse
so, i wrote a one shot for my Uno Reverse Card Swap AU- and i’ve decided to put all my oneshots and drabbles for it in one fic on ao3.
...anyways though, boom, heres the fic, bon appetit-
Word Count: 1.4k
Read on Ao3
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MK tossed the staff as hard as he could, his frustration at his lack of progress seeping into the move. Wukong briefly looked shocked for a split moment (a very rare sight to see), before he ducked down, letting the staff sail over him.
Having missed it's initial target, the staff crashed into the electric panel on the wall, loud enough to grab Mei and Red Son's attention, from where they had been training on their side of the room.
"....Uh." Red Son said, watching how the electric panel sparked and hissed. "That's probably not good."
And then the training room doors slammed closed.
"Ah. That's very not good." The fire demon holstered the water gun he'd been using, walking over to inspect the damage.
"I'm sorry!" MK said, running over and pulling the staff out of the electric panel. Surprisingly enough, he didn't get shocked, instinctively twirling the staff in a circle before sliding it into his pocket. "I'm- I'm really sorry, can you fix it??"
"...If we were on the other side, yes." Red Son poked the panel, pulling his hand back just before a stray spark could hit it. "As of right now...I'd say we're pretty much trapped."
"What if somebody needs Dragonmist or Spitfire though?" Mei asked, "We won't be able to help if we're stuck in here."
"..I'm sure Sandy or my parents could do the job just fine..." Red Son mumbled, barely paying any attention to what Mei was saying, as he turned on the electronic band on his arm, a holographic screen appearing in front of his face. "I think I can get the doors to open again if I can reactivate the system....But with all the changes I had to recently make to prevent a certain few hackers from getting in the system again it might take me a while."
That seemed to be all the incentive that Mei needed, and MK watched in confusion as she took a few steps back.
Said confusion changed to comprehension just seconds before Mei took off, running at the door at full speed.
...And slamming into said door, falling backwards and landing hard on her back. The loud clang made MK cover his ears, and startled Red Son out of his focus.
"You- did you just try to break through the door?" Red Son knelt beside Mei, poking her to check if she was still alive (which she was). "The door that I specifically designed to be unbreakable?"
Mei only groaned in response, accepting MK's help in lifting herself back up into a standing position. As MK steadied her, he looked over her shoulder, noticing how...quiet Wukong had been the whole time.
The Monkey King was just standing there, exactly where MK had left him, in fact, it didn't seem like his mentor had moved at all.
MK lightly tugged on both Red Son and Mei's jackets to draw their attention over to Wukong
Just in time for Wukong to let out a scream of frustration, taking the fake circlet off of his head and throwing it at the wall- karma immediately playing it's hand as the circlet bounced off the wall, flinging back to hit Wukong on the nose, before reverting back to being a strand of hair.
"Fuck." Wukong hissed, staring at the hair that now rested on the floor as though it had personally offended him.
"....Monkey King? Are.....you okay?" MK quietly asked, Red Son and Mei also looking at Wukong in concern.
"I'm fucking fine- Leave me alone!" Wukong glared at them, before turning around and sitting on the floor, cross-legged, his tail swishing back and forth in irritation. MK, Red Son, and Mei shared a worried look.
"...I'll get back to trying to unlock the doors?" Red Son said, "Also Mei, please do not try slamming yourself into the door again. It's not going to work, and I really don't know why you thought that was a good idea in the first place."
"I didn't think it was a good idea, I just thought we might as well try it." Mei shrugged, "I did think it might go faster than just you trying to hack your own system though."
MK tuned out the bickering between his two friends as he focused in on Wukong's back. The Monkey King's fur was all....bristly, standing on end, as though he'd been startled. In between that, his little outburst a few moments ago, how his tail was rapidly swishing from side to side, and the fact he was chewing on his thumbnail, well, MK could only conclude one thing.
Wukong was scared.
As for why he was scared, MK had a few guesses. Most of which pertained to mountains and furnaces.
MK wondered if he should give Wukong some of the advice Macaque had given to him during their last therapy session- but almost instantly dismissed the idea. Wukong would definitely pick up on the fact that MK was quoting Macaque, and the Monkey King simply refused to take any advice the shadow monkey handed out.
MK couldn't just walk over to Wukong and try to distract him either. For one, he had no idea how to even start that kind of conversation, not to mention that Wukong didn't look like he wanted to talk to anyone right now. He couldn't tell Wukong that he knew that the Monkey King was scared either, from what he'd manage to garner about Wukong's personality, that would surely just send Wukong down a path of denial and overcomplicate the whole situation.
Which only left one option. Waiting.
Many people didn't know this, because of how quiet and reserved MK tended to be, but he absolutely hated waiting.
"Hey, Red Son?" MK asked, interrupting Mei and Red Son's petty bickering. "...How long exactly will it take you to hack the doors back open?"
"Uh...." Red Son glances at the holographic numbers hovering over his arm. "...I think the shortest amount of time I could do it would by 15 minutes, at most about 2 hours."
Out of the corner of his eye, MK could see Wukong's back tense, and something tells MK that even 15 minutes would be just a bit too long.
...This was all his fault. If he'd been paying more attention, hadn't gotten so frustrated, they wouldn't even be in this mess.
MK pulled the staff out of his pocket, looking at how it lay small and innocent in his hand. He looked back over at Wukong, who was still resolutely facing away from the rest of them.
He took a step towards the control panel.
"...MK." Mei noted his movement. "MK, what are you doing?"
MK doesn't give a response, the staff extending in his hands.
This was his fault. He's going to fix it.
"Wh- hey, MK, you'll get yourself electrocuted you-" Red Son takes notice of MK's actions a moment too late.
MK shoved the staff into the electrical panel, ignoring the way the electricity made his arms go numb and his nerves tingle. He'd been forced to get used to the sensation a long time ago. Focusing as much as he could, he grabbed hold of the warm power that lay within him, channeling it through the staff and into the control panel.
He didn't stop until he heard the whoosh of the doors opening, and was certain that they would stay open.
He pulled the staff out of the control panel, setting it down as he rolled his shoulders, shaking the tingles out of his arms. He registered Mei and Red Son staring at him in concern, but purposefully ignored it.
A breeze went past him, and suddenly Wukong was standing on the outside of the room, rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet, wearing an obviously fake smile.
"So uh, MK, the next time you fight me-" (Wukong' refused to actively call it training, instead saying that MK was simply fighting him for real. Since he was actually somewhat teaching MK now, nobody dared to call him out on it.) "Try seeing if you can catch me off guard on Flower Fruit Mountain, yeah? Yep, okay, uh- fuck, I forgot something with the monkeys, should make sure they didn't fucking destroy it, so uh, bye!"
Wukong vanished, leaving behind no trace that he had even been there. MK blinked, processing the Monkey King's parting words.
Did.....did Wukong just invite him to Flower Fruit Mountain for the first time?
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hii lu <3 you said comfort requests are always open so I thought I’d request something since I really love your writing :)
how about dazai and akutagawa comforting or helping an s/o who’s having trouble with basic tasks (showering, eating, getting up, falling asleep) due to possible depression? like they’re drained and have no motivation to do anything anymore.
feel free to ignore this if you’d like! and as always, take care of yourself ily 💕
Aight, so because you said “possible”, I’m gonna go with undiagnosed depression. Sorry for the mix of HC and fic with this, but I figured that was the easiest way to do this request?
Comfort for (possible) depression | Dazai, Akutagawa x reader
Warnings: talks of depression references to self-harm
Dazai-
He notices right away. There is nothing he pays attention to more than you. After all, that’s what partners are for right? He sees you as his one and only, and that means he cares for your mental well-being.
He does however invade privacy, but he has his reasons. For one, he understands the pain. At first, you may notice how you're left with one razor and it’s a safety razor. That’s all you have to shave. Asking Dazai about it goes nowhere because he’s an excellent liar, so he convinces you he knows nothing. Slowly, you’ll notice medication start to be organized and the extras hidden in the back. He denies any knowledge, even if it makes you skeptical.
He knows, and damn does it hurt him to see you slowly start to stop caring. The lack of self-hygiene, the way he had to ask you when your last shower was. He misses your fun-filled nights, he really does. Yet here he is stuck. He doesn't want to be too clingy, too pushy, or overprotective, because losing you would be the end of him.
But god, does he know what you're going through, yet you don’t talk about it. You just keep struggling. He watches every day as more simple tasks become difficult and meaningless. Brushing your hair, keeping your room tidy, making the bed, and even just walking away from the sofa.
When it gets really bad, like bad enough that you just won’t get out of bed, when you stop eating unless you really feel the need to. He steps in more than he thought he should. He was waiting, waiting for you to come to him. Yeah, it stung that you didn’t talk about it, but he also understood the pressure of putting something like this on another's shoulders.
He won’t leave till you tell him. Even if it’s “I haven't been feeling upbeat lately.” “I don't know, I'm just sad.” If anything like that comes from your mouth, he’ll nod and try to press for more.
Then he starts taking care of you. His first part is getting you back to three meals a day.
The next deal is fixing the sleep schedule, what he suspects as undiagnosed depression, destroyed.
When you get some normality back, he will, even if you don’t want it, pick you up and drag you around the house until you start doing it yourself.
Don’t worry, take your time, cause Lord does he understand how hard it is some days to get out of bed.
He checks though, that’s the one thing you don’t get a say in. His hands will touch your skin, and he knows how he used to get away with it. Small cuts on the legs or in places nobody would normally look. He looks there just to make sure you aren't doing what he did to himself.
He loves you, he won’t let you forget that because he smothers you with morning kisses, sloppy and affectionate. And at night, he covers your hands and cheeks in tired goodnight pecks.
Every meal, whether it's frozen or ordered, is given to you with affection.
He's patient, he’s willing to wait until you start doing daily chores on your own. Small things like bathing without being asked. He’ll smile when he sees how your eye bags start to get lighter, and your complexion gets closer to being how it was.
One day he hopes whatever put you in such a bad place will come out, and he’ll be the one holding you in his arms and whispering how everything is alright.
Akutagawa-
It takes a while for him to notice. He mostly notices when you stop doing work.
Then he’ll take into account how tired and worn out you are.
He’s not affectionate, and it’s something you knew about him, so seeing him pamper you with questions is always striking.
When you're alone, he can be more touchy and open, but he’s always so cold. Seeing him ask so many questions that you can’t keep up with may not be the best for you, but it shows you he cares.
When he does slow down, he only goes over the most important questions. He asks if you’re feeling well. Ask if you're stressed, or need a break.
Being the way he is, depression isn’t something he auto recognizes, so while he stands there every morning watching you do less and less, he researches it.
When he finds you may be suffering from something that couldn’t be seen on the outside without careful observation, he starts making it very clear how much he loves you.
He doesn't understand it enough to sympathize completely, but he understands you're not happy.
Being the kind of person he is, he automatically thinks it was somebody who did this. He may be right, but he stays silent for your sake.
He’s there for you to rant to. If you ever break down, he’s ready for you. You’ve seen him get worked up once, maybe twice, and you never left him, so he’d be returning the gesture.
He also insists you attend therapy and get diagnosed. He does not care if you don’t want to, because very clearly you need to talk to somebody, and he heard therapy actually helps people cope. He’d rather you not hurt yourself or use… work’s mafia activities to cope
Tag list: (if you wish to be added, shoot me an ask or comment on a post) @jadegreenimmortality
#bsd#bsd x reader#bsd comfort#bsd comfort x reader#bsd x reader comfort#bsd headcanons#bsd fic#bsd x reader headcanons#bsd x reader fic#dazai#dazai comfort#dazai comfort x reader#dazai headcanons#dazai x reader comfort headcanons#dazai x reader headcanons#akutagawa#akutagawa comfort#akutagawa x reader comfort#akutagawa headcanons#akutagawa x reader comfort headcanons
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Revelation; Part One
warnings/kinks: a/b/o (if you’re penis-repulsed this isn’t for you), smut (duh), brief daddy kink, even briefer mommy kink, cum-eating, cum-marking, cockwarming? (does it count if it’s a/b/o?), light bloodplay, borderline somniphilia (consensual), poisoning, suicidal ideation, allusions to cheating, mentions of conversion therapy, vague mentions of s*xual ass*ult (it doesn’t actually happen in the story, it’s just referred to a lot due to the nature of this universe)
uh… this is another one of those stories that’s just kinda Heavy, please be careful & don’t continue reading if doing so is unsafe for you. I have a variety of other works that don’t have such intense themes, which you can find on my masterlist!
request (+details): Omegaverse: Alphas Yukio and Ellie with a beta reader, but it turns out that reader is a late-bloomer omega who goes into her first heat unexpectedly. / Omegaverse: The setting could be anywhere. The three of them waking up with reader burning hot, believing to be sick but is actually going into heat. The reader could be by themselves when it happens and her alphas come home to a omega in heat / I can’t get this omegaverse idea out of my head, and I hope you don’t mind me telling you this. Reader being alone and confused when her heat came, her alphas gone on a mission. During the time they were gone, Reader made a nest of her alphas’s clothes out of instinct on their bed. By the time Yukio and Ellie returned, Reader is a hot mess from trying to get off, moaning their names and begging for her alphas to help her for she don’t know why she feels like this and is scared.)
synopsis: After Wade discovers you're dealing with suicidal thoughts, he takes it upon himself to help you out, leading to one disaster after another.
author’s note: thank you so much to the lovely anon who requested this for spending so much time with me & making sure everything was juuuust right! Fun fact: we pined, started dating, and broke up, started dating again, and broke up again all before this was published 🙃 sorry everybody, it’s been a rocky road for the past… forever.
Standing guard after school for a few extra bucks is a pretty sweet deal, you have to admit. You mostly just sit around with a pair of binoculars munching on your snack of choice, using a gun loaded with tranquilizer darts to drop anyone who threatens the safety of the school and its residents. If given permission, or an order to do so, you can use your bow and arrow to really take down your enemies.
You’re pretty lucky in life overall, you also have to admit, with two alpha girlfriends and a variety of friends and acquaintances, not to mention the advantages your mutation gives you.
It makes you feel even more guilty for what you’re really thinking about right now. Not Ellie, not Yukio, not keeping an eye out for threats, nothing but a simple question:
Would it be more efficient to slit your wrists with the point of one of your arrows, or to fling yourself from the top of this turret? Which would hurt worse? You look from the sharp arrow you hold in your hand to the plush grass below, managed by some of the other students.
It’s far cheaper to pay students to maintain the yard and house, not to mention it gives students like you a way of earning the kind of spending money that other students receive from their parents or from jobs in town. Your post would be snatched up in no time if you were to pass.
Speaking of parents.
Your father’s exact words to your mother were “I hate that you use a highschool mistake to keep me trapped with you forever!” the last time you happened to hear them argue. They were no longer invited to parent-teacher conferences after that.
It’s a fine reason for him to be angry, but, unfortunately, you’re the highschool mistake he was talking about. The one he’s always talking about whenever they fight. Maybe if you were gone, he’d finally be free. Maybe you’d finally be free from his resentment. He, fortunately enough, rarely lashes out at you directly; however… There’s always been a distance.
Would he love you more if you were gone? If you saved him from… Well, you? You’ve always wanted him to love you, to look at you with something other than anger or resentment. Would he finally be proud of you, for owning up to every horrible thing you are and have done by paying the ultimate price? Would everyone?
You’re holding the bladed tip of the arrow right against your wrist, almost like a normal person might hold a bracelet to their wrist -- trying it on for size, without really thinking about it.
Suddenly, though, Wade’s here. And he’s definitely thinking about it. He yanks the arrow out of your hand, accidentally snapping the wood that makes up its length.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“I- Uh, I don’t know,” you mumble, embarrassed, because you honestly don’t. Being alone with your thoughts gives them the space to grow from their poisoned roots into something dark you don’t really recognize as yours.
“You- You don’t know?!” Wade questions, and the unusual severity of his tone stuns you to the point of laughter. “This isn’t fucking funny, what the hell is wrong with you? Why were you-?! What were you-?! What the fuck are you doing?!”
“I’m standing guard. What the fuck are you doing?” you echo dryly, resorting to quips to avoid telling him any more than he already knows.
“I’m freaking out! I can’t kill you for apparently wanting to kill you, so that’s all I can do! I thought you were on antidepressants!”
“I am. Have been for years. They don’t cure depression, they make it easier to manage.”
“Apparently fucking not! Come on, let’s go talk to somebody and get you an appointment with a psychiatrist. You’ve been on the same prescription all these years, right? Maybe you just need your dosage upped.” Wade’s not asking, he’s telling, his hand wrapped around your bicep to pull you along, although his grip isn’t as tight as you’d expect for a man of his stature, let alone an alpha.
Why does he care so much? He’s always so gentle, even when you piss him off like this. Tears well up in your eyes but you blink hard. You know he’s been through worse. That most people here have. You have no right to cry.
Wade yells at a surprised Charles Xavier until an appointment is set up, which goes pretty well. Four days after that incident, you meet with the psychiatrist who agrees that upping your dosage is the smartest decision, frankly, she’s surprised it wasn’t done sooner. And, after about a week of your new dosage level, you’re feeling better than ever.
Way better.
“You… You’d really wanna do that? For everyone to know I’m yours?”
Ellie nods, cheeks darkened. You’re straddling her, and the two of you have been trading heated kisses with Yukio. Who would’ve thought more of the medication you were sure killed your libido before you could even develop one would be what rescued it?
“Of course we would. I know you don’t like to stereotype, but some of the stereotypes have truth to them. We’re… Territorial,” Yukio reminds you.
“I’m… A beta,” you remind her in a teasing echo of her tone.
“Our beta,” Ellie cuts back in. “Absolutely perfect.”
“Even if I’d rather not let you guys, y’know…” Your hand rubs at the space between your neck and your shoulder - where they’d likely mark you with their teeth - nervously. “...today? Or go farther than what we’re doing right now?”
“Of course, baby! The fact that you’ve even done this much…” Yukio trails off, looking over you. Your lips are swollen and still slightly parted as you continue to pant a little. The top few buttons of your (well, borrowed from Ellie) flannel are undone.
“We’re so grateful, and so proud of you,” Ellie continues, drawing your attention back to her. “We’re willing to wait as long as you need, even if that waiting only ends because you’ve decided that being with us like that isn’t something you want.”
“I do. I always have, I just… I don’t know.”
“The feeling’s still there, in your stomach, right?” Yukio wonders.
“Yeah, a little. It’s like… I know it’s not wrong, but something doesn’t feel quite right. Maybe I should just try to ignore it, I mean, you two have needs-”
“Hey. You know better than that, Y/N. We don’t, okay, babe? Not like that. We wanna have sex with you, not- Not hurt you. You understand that, right?” Ellie reassures you.
“I do, I just feel bad for being such a- I don’t know, a tease?”
“We love you. As in, you. If you forced yourself to do something you didn’t want to, just for us, how would we forgive ourselves?” Yukio says what she’s said a million times, but every time it surprises you. You tend to see yourself as only being valuable in what you can offer others— protection, a laugh, some good advice every now and then —you never expect anyone to care for you outside of that. But here they are. Absolutely perfect.
And you were thinking of flinging yourself off a tower a couple weeks ago. Should you tell them? They just think you went for an overdue checkup, which is technically the case. You don’t know what’s worse, hiding it or telling them. You’ll have to talk to Wade, he’s good at giving advice. Might not be good advice, but he’s definitely good at giving it.
“Everything okay, sharpshooter?” Ellie hands gently squeeze your hips to get your attention.
You blink back out of your thoughts, smiling a little and blushing at the nickname.
“Yeah, yeah, of course. Sorry, I just zoned out. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”
“Everything okay?” your alphas ask, again, in unison. Your alphas. They probably couldn’t handle it if you had a problem they couldn’t solve, the guilt of not being able to provide for you would overwhelm them.
“Yeah, totally,” you reply, because it is, now, especially here with them. Ellie starts to button up your flannel.
“Oh, we don’t have to-”
Ellie gives you a pointed look, then looks down at her crotch, then back up at you. Your blush deepens.
“Yeah, I’m guessing a cold shower’s in order,” Yukio agrees. “El, you can go first.”
“We can’t go together?” Ellie asks.
“Well, I don’t wanna leave Y/N alone. Our brave little beta did a lot more than usual. Don’t want you to feel used, baby,” Yukio explains to you both.
“Oh, duh,” Ellie agrees. You give her a quick smooch on the forehead before dismounting her and allowing yourself to be pulled into Yukio’s arms. Ellie grabs some clean clothes and heads off. As soon as the door shuts, Yukio giggles, and you look to her with a curious, confused expression.
“Now you’re all mine to cuddle.” Yukio gloats, kissing the top of your head. “Mm… You smell really good, babe. New shampoo?”
“Ish, yeah,” you agree, despite the fact that you started using it nearly a month ago at this point. Maybe the body heat you built up from the makeout session made it smell stronger, though.
Yukio keeps sniffing you, but you don’t call her out on it. She’s a little bit quirky, sure, but there’s no need to make her feel self-conscious about it when the tickling sensation feels kinda nice. She tosses in a few soft presses of her lips against your skin, too, so it’s not like she’s the only one who benefits.
Yukio eventually stops this, though, instead requesting to scent you. You’ve told the girls before that they don’t have to ask, but they— especially Yukio —seem to prefer to. You figure it’s likely to reassure them that you not only tolerate but appreciate their alphahood.
“I love you, you know that? Not just ‘cause you make me smell like petrichor. I’m surprised Ellie doesn’t spend all day huffing your scent, I… I know I would, if I could smell it.” You didn’t mean for the sad envy to ring so clearly in your words, but it’s as sharp as a knife, cutting deep enough to make Yukio gasp softly with sympathy as she rubs your wrist against her scent gland, eyes snapping open.
“Well, next time it’s about to rain, we’ll go outside, then. Every time it’s about to rain,” Yukio insists. “Who- Who told you?”
“Wade. I was just curious. He said Ellie smells like a campfire, the scent even clings like it. He even said I smell a little weird. Most betas smell like something, but I’m just… A blank canvas.”
You feel her rumble a bit with a growl, and her arms wrap tightly around you… Protectively? You blush.
“Y-Yukio?” you nervously ask, caught off guard. Ellie’s usually more of the growling type. Yukio’s pretty good about keeping her possessiveness and any other “negative” alpha traits in check. This side of her doesn’t come out often.
“What was he doing that close to you?” she snarls protectively, and if the growl wasn’t enough to get your heart racing, that was. “Sm- Smelling you?”
“Yukes, Wade’s the same age as my parents. Honestly, he’s- He’s kinda- He’s nice to me. We’re friends. I think if he was going to hurt me, he would’ve done it by now. You two keep forgetting I’m just a beta. No one wants a piece of this pie except for you and Ellie.”
“You’d be surprised at the way some alphas… It’s sick, but they- Because betas, you know, they don’t really produce slick like omegas do, and they don’t have quite as much give, uh… So, some alphas, um, they… Just let me hold you, okay?” Yukio requests. “I can’t talk about it, it’ll make me too mad.”
“I respect that. Thank you. I, uh, I didn’t realize that at all, so thank you for helping me be even safer,” you reassure her. She’s trembling. “Do you want me to hold you, instead?”
“No, no, this will make me feel better. I just… I love you. Can you just…? Just- Just say you’re mine.” This is a request Yukio has semi-often. When she feels weak in comparison to other alphas, when she feels overshadowed by Ellie, any time she needs reassurance or is just feeling bad, she’ll probably ask. You get it, being hers (and Ellie’s, of course) makes you feel better, too.
“I’m yours, Yukio. Always yours. You make me so happy, both of you. Happier than- You make me feel so-“ You get a bit choked up. These girls, these alphas… They’re so important to you.
“Oh, no, baby, please don’t cry,” Yukio implores, watching your eyes water. You turn so that your face doesn’t just rest on her chest but is buried in it.
“It’s just that no one ever loved me before you two. No one, ever. Not my parents, not my ’friends,’ no one. I don’t know why I’ve been so emotional lately, I’m sorry.”
“No one at all?” Yukio questions, but that’s the missing puzzle piece, she realizes. You’re always treating hers and Ellie’s love for you like it’s something you have to earn, no matter how much they insist being yourself is enough. She fully grasps now that it’s never been enough before.
She holds you even tighter.
“Mm-mm,” you confirm, shaking your head a little. “You and Ellie just mean the whole world to me. And- And… Wade’s my friend, too. Can I still, y’know, spend time with him?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. I just- He’s a nice guy, but… I don’t want him to put you in danger. You can handle yourself, though. Can’t you, sharpshooter?” Her fingers trickle up your ribs as she says the nickname, making you giggle and squirm.
“Absolutely, but it is nice to have two strong, sexy alphas take care of me instead every now and then,” you admit, albeit a bit teasingly, blushing softly. You turn back so that you can see her adorable face.
“Really?” Yukio asks, but she knows.
“Really,” you agree with a smile.
“I’m yours, too. You know that, right?” Yukio checks, fiddling with your hair a bit.
“Mhm. It’s nice to hear you say it like that, though.”
“I can think of other ways you might like to hear it,” Yukio flirts.
“Yeah, you think so? Show me,” you tease back.
“I will…” Yukio trails off as she trails her finger along your jaw, tipping your head up to the perfect kissing angle and- “Eventually, little beta.”
“I- I’m taller than you,” you weakly protest.
“Your breath still hitched,” Yukio reminds you with a giggle and a gentle tap on the tip of your nose.
You stutter a little more before giving up, burying your face again and whining.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I just can’t help myself. You’re too cute,” Yukio half-heartedly apologizes, still chuckling to herself as she strokes your back.
Ellie returns from her shower, inky tendrils of hair ruffled around but with no product in.
“She’s asleep?” Ellie asks, sounding a bit disappointed, but there’s still a significant amount of fondness in her tone.
“She’s not,” you mumble back, and both girls chuckle, Yukio untangling herself from you. You can’t help but pout a little, already missing the bubblegum-haired alpha.
“I know Yukio’s your favorite, but you could at least act a little bit happy to see me,” Ellie half-jokes, and you smile, pulling (though she doesn’t give any resistance) the girl back into your bed. She holds you the same way Yukio did, but you don’t really mind the lack of variety.
“You’re both my favorite,” you argue. Ellie takes a deep breath, likely taking in the way you’re completely embraced by Yukio’s scent.
“I don’t think that’s how favorites work,” she chuckles.
“Out of all the people in the world, you two are both my favorite,” you insist. She takes the hand you have resting on her ribcage and holds it inches from her scent gland. “Please,” you say, before she can even ask. Ellie takes a whiff again.
“Did she leave anywhere untouched?” She wonders.
“N-not really,” you stutter, because now you’re thinking of where she didn’t touch you.
“Well, she’ll have to share a little, then,” Ellie says.
You hum with delight as she scents you.
“You make a new friend?” Ellie questions.
“Huh?”
“You smell… Different,” she responds, looking at you… Well, differently. “Like roses.”
“I have a new-ish shampoo?” You offer, but that just seems to intensify the look.
Your phone rings. It’s Wade. You wriggle out of Ellie’s loose hold on you, answering.
“Hey, you know how I’m your academic advisor?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, apparently, thwarting your suicide attempts isn’t my only job. I also have to tell you when they need you in the office, which is now.”
“Seriously?! I didn’t even throw that pencil at Richard, and even if I did, he deserved it for being such a-“
“Oh, right! Should’ve opened with the good news. Your parents are here to visit.”
“What?! That’s-“ You sigh, not wanting to alarm Ellie any more than you already have. “Okay. I’ll be there. Just give me a second to get dressed.”
“Wow, no shame at all. I salute you. Toodles!” Wade hangs up before you realize he misunderstood you.
“What’s wrong?” Ellie asks.
“Nothing, just… My parents are here.”
“Your… Parents?”
“Kind of have to have those to exist, usually,” you remark, and she snorts.
“I know- I- Well, we’ve known each other for a while, and you don’t really talk about them, so I sort of assumed…” Ellie trails off.
“Oh, um, yeah, no, they’re very alive,” you confirm with an awkward chuckle.
“Right. I’ll go get ‘Kio, and we’ll all go, okay?”
“Uh- Um- Yeah.”
“What is it?”
“My parents, they kind of… They- I love you. And I’m not ashamed of you.”
“But they’ll be ashamed of you,” Ellie understands.
“I haven’t seen them in so long, they don’t even know that I like girls, let alone that I’m dating two, or that they’re both alphas… I want you and Yukio to come with me, but, if they start to- If they’re how they are, I-“
“Give my energy to helping you instead of hurting them,” Ellie uses Piotr’s words.
“Perfect,” you agree, and Ellie smiles back, but it falters. You didn’t mean to worry her so much.
“I’ll go get Yukio. You get changed, okay?”
“Mhm,” you agree, and she heads off to the bathroom. You steal one of Ellie’s band tees and an oversized cardigan of Yukio’s for comfort, finding a pair of high-waisted bottoms to tuck the tee shirt in. You throw on a pair of sneakers, and when the girls emerge from the bathroom, you pop in to freshen up.
Once you’re done, Yukio’s caught up on the situation and the three of you make your way to the front offices.
Wade meets you outside.
“Oh em gee, Y/N, you’ll never believe it, I actually went to high school with both of your parents.”
“Uh… Cool?” You respond, because you’re not entirely sure how to.
“Yeah, uh, I get now that it’s probably not really good news that they’re here, huh? No wonder I found you doing that the other day.”
“Doing what?” Yukio and Ellie ask, though for some reason, Ellie’s is tinged with suspicion, maybe even anger.
“I- Listen, it’s not a big deal, I got my prescription updated and all that good stuff, okay?” You prime them. “I was thinking about killing myself the other day and Wade caught me.”
“Thinking?! You’re gonna call holding the fucking tip of an arrow to your wrist thinking?!”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Ellie sounds as angry as Wade does, but she looks pained. This is why you didn’t tell them.
“Hey, she doesn’t need this right now,” Yukio argues, but she looks hurt, too.
“I mean, I was just considering if it would be more painful than jumping off of the turret,” you mumble, your defense embarrassingly weak.
“We’ll talk about this later,” Ellie decides, and Yukio nods. You three follow Wade to Xavier’s office. Wade breezes in, but you’re practically stuck in the doorway, nervous to look at even the backs of their heads, before they turn around.
“Y/N,” your mom says with a grin, but you know all too well how fake that is. She approaches you, pulls you into a hug, and you want nothing more than to push her away and scrub yourself clean. She doesn’t really love you. The second you speak out of turn, or make a mistake, or give her any excuse, she’ll remind you of your worth. (Or, rather, the lack thereof.)
She slips back into her seat next to your father, in front of the desk where Xavier sits, simply observing.
“It’s been so long,” your father says, but his smile is almost blatantly fake. “Your hair, it’s different.”
“Like you said, it’s been a while,” you say, giving a grimace and an awkward chuckle.
“I don’t think I like it,” he says, like he’s giving his opinion on a sculpture in an art exhibit by some long-dead artist who doesn’t care what he thinks. Like it’s something just… Objective.
“Not sure what to do about that,” you reply sheepishly.
You don’t fully realize that you’re holding Ellie’s hand until she squeezes it reassuringly, three times. A secret code. You step further in to make room for the girls.
“So, uh, I have to ask… Why the sudden visit?”
“Well, we got an e-mail about your medicine, and we wanted to come check on you. Make sure this is the right environment for you,” your mother explains.
“You weren’t sure before you stopped talking to me for two years?” You half-joke, playing dumb.
“Has it really been two years?” A normal person would be asking this rhetorically, and they’d be embarrassed. Your mother, though, is simply trying to gaslight you.
“Longer,” you assure her.
“I thought this place was supposed to provide conversion therapy,” your father says, eyeing your hand, then Ellie’s other hand. “You’re such a fucking liar,” he hisses to your mother.
“Wow, maybe my mom dying when I was young was for the best. Better than this for sure,” Wade jokes, gently elbowing your side. You chuckle, grateful for even the slightest ounce of comic relief.
“You’re even more of a freak than you were in high school.” You squeeze Ellie’s hand tight as your father’s expression darkens even further.
“Funny you should say that, considering-“
“Wade,” your mother cuts him off.
That’s weird, to say the least. You just file that away for later. You have bigger fish to fry, like surviving this visit.
“Y/N, why’d you go for a check-up at all? You barely needed the anti-depressants in the first place,” your mother wonders.
“Because it wasn’t barely. Why else would they raise the dosage?” You ask, and the expression on her face is as stupid as the question she asked.
“Don’t speak to her that way,” your father scolds, like he didn’t just call your mother a fucking liar himself. “You are so ungrateful for everything we’ve done for you, do you realize that?”
“I’m sorry, what have you done for her, exactly? Answer quickly, please,” Ellie retorts.
“El-“ you start, but realize this isn’t anger, but advocacy.
“Well, we sheltered and fed her for over a decade,” your father remarks, smirking like he’s won.
“That’s your job!” Wade argues.
“Mr. and Mrs. L/N… I politely asked that you refrain from visiting the campus, and while I appreciate your concern for Y/N’s well-being, I must ask that you remain respectful of her, her fellow students, and my staff. Causing unnecessary conflict is exactly the reason you were almost banned when you last visited,” Professor Xavier finally speaks.
“Almost banned?!” Wade wheezes.
“Yeah,” you sigh, and Wade’s laughter immediately ceases. “I was cheating in school, according to- To Dad.” The word is poison in your mouth.
“Come on, we all know you’re not smart enough to get those grades on your own. Probably screwing some teacher, just like Mom.”
“That’s enough,” Ellie snarls, eyes glowing orange.
“I never screwed a teacher!” Your mother protests at the same time.
“Oh, that’s right, you just blew Mr. Morin. My bad. Wow, Y/N, you really must be something special for all these alphas to be fawning over you. Maybe I did fuck up once or twice, after all, I’ve heard daddy issues-“
“Well, you visited! Now get the fuck out,” Wade chirps.
“Mr. L/N, must I repeat myself? I know you and Mrs. L/N were interested in a tour. Perhaps a less crowded area would help ease your minds,” Xavier reminds you all of his presence once more.
“That sounds like a great idea,” your father agrees.
“I’m starting to get a bit of a headache, maybe you could show us your room first and I could lie down for a bit in there?”
“I-“ You look to the girls, not wanting them to have to deal with her alone.
“Actually, Miss Phimister and Miss Kitsuna would be perfect additions to a rescue team. The orphanage your friend Russell came from was actually part of a network for mutant trafficking, and we found another hub in Maine. The jet takes off in fifteen minutes, and you two will be back in time for dinner. Better get ready and briefed.”
“But-“ Yukio starts, looking to you.
“Go, be superheroes,” you tell them, and they head out. “Uh, how about we swing by the library first, to give them time to change, and then to our room?”
“You share a room with them? Somehow, I’m not surprised.”
“We were roommates before we started dating,” you correct him.
“Dating… Aw, I bet you really think that’s what it is, too. Having parents in a sham of a marriage really did a number on you, huh?” Your father condescends.
“You know, it’s pretty fucked up how fixated you are on her sexuality. Do you like to picture it, you goddamn creep?” Wade defends you, and your skin crawls. You’d never thought of it that way before.
“Let’s just get that tour started, ‘kay?” You squeak. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner they’ll be on their way, hopefully.
“Good idea, Y/N,” Wade says. “Come on, Textbook, let’s go.”
“You didn’t just call me-“
“Oh, but I did, Textbook. Hey, Y/N, did you know that was your dad’s nickname in highschool? ‘Cause he was so fuckin’ easy to shove in a locker.”
You cover your mouth with your hand, trying not to laugh and failing.
“Just show us the library already, Y/N,” your mother says, pinching the bridge of her nose.
You take your parents to the library, as requested. Wade keeps pace with you while your parents fall back. You can’t hear their exact words, but you know your parents are bickering.
“You never said it was this bad.”
“It’s not that bad. It’s definitely been worse,” you admit, busying your eyes with the paintings that line the walls so that you don’t have to meet Wade’s gaze. You might just cry if you do; you can feel the sympathy radiating off of him.
In these past few months, Wade’s been more of a father than your dad, even more of a mother than your mom, but for some reason that doesn’t make you feel more justified in how you feel about your parents. In fact, it just makes you feel worse, and even if you’ve never actually expressed it, you’re still ashamed of the fact that you wish Wade was your father instead. He actually cares, while your parents are simply legally obligated.
From the day you met, Wade’s always been there for you. If you were to tell your parents what you almost did the other day, they’d just call you attention-seeking and insult you in other ways. All they’d do is make you want to try again.
You and Wade stop at the entrance to the library and wait for your parents to catch up. They do, and you open the double doors to reveal the room.
“It’s like Beauty and the Beast,” your mother gapes.
“I thought so, too,” you agree, attempting a smile, but your parents just ignore you, wandering around the large room. Your mother excuses herself after a few minutes of spinning, saying that the dizziness is making her headache worse.
“All these books and you’re still… The way you are,” your father comments, looking at you with such disdain.
“Winner of the science fair with her loving partners, three years in a row?” Wade questions. “Oh, or maybe you’re talking about the fact that she’s a published poet. How embarrassing for you, I’m sure.”
“Wade,” you protest under your breath, embarrassed. They don’t even know that stuff. After middle school, you stopped telling them about your accomplishments. You figured out that all they’d do is ruin them for you.
“No, no, trust me. It’s more about the fact that she’s slutting around with alphas and won’t even save us the embarrassment of them being girls,” you father spats.
“That’s enough,” Wade snarls.
“Oh, that’s right, we can’t forget that she’s yours, too. I guess anything with a dick is daddy considering I was too busy putting food on the table to play dollies,” he remarks, and you suddenly feel light-headed.
“Seriously, Textbook, I really don’t want to hurt you, especially not in front of Y/N, but I fucking will if you make me.”
“Just go,” you urge Wade, starting to feel a bit dizzy, surely from the stress. You brace yourself on him, disguising it as a touch meant to comfort him. He looks concerned as the edges of your vision start to darken a little.“I- What you’re doing, I appreciate it, but-“
“You appreciate it? You appreciate him disrespecting me, disrespecting our family?!”
“Our family?!” You finally snap. “All I ever wanted was for you to love me, and you couldn’t do that. You just couldn’t. And now we’re a family?! No. No, you…” You start to pant, your face feeling even hotter than before. “You… I hate you,” you manage to get out before your world goes completely dark.
“Fuck yeah, Y/N! I’m so prou-“
But when Wade turns to you, you’re halfway to the ground. He catches you, though, and he catches a whiff of something… Familiar.
Lavender. It’s not just the Wilson scent, sure, but it’d be too much of a coincidence. You smell just like him. You are him, or, rather, made of him.
He’s torn between ecstatic and furious.
“Hey, can we get some help over here?” your father calls out to no one. It’s not a school day, and lots of students are out on missions. He reaches out to you for once in your life, but Wade’s now sitting on the floor, cradling you in his arms.
“No,” Wade argues. “Not yours. Mine.”
“What?” You father asks incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“She’s. Not. Yours,” Wade repeats, and the more he inhales your scent, the more out of control yet calm he feels. Like he’s in the eye of a hurricane. “My baby. Mine.”
“You’re not saying…” your father trails off as Wade gets up, still cradling you. Wade has to take you to your room; help make you a nest, now. He can smell it on you.
You’re in heat.
He gets to your room quickly, practically tossing you onto your bed. Wait… Isn’t your mom supposed to be here?
And that’s when he hears the sound of pills spilling onto the floor.
He nearly rips the bathroom door off of its hinges. Luckily, your mother spilled what Wade quickly realizes is suppressants, and not your prescription.
“You. You could’ve killed her. You are very, very lucky that my baby-“
“Our baby,” your mother corrects.
“No, you take pills, you can’t even smell her, let alone feel her like I can. It- It’s so much it fucking hurts. I’ll say it again, you’re very lucky my baby is in heat, or your arteries would be emptying in that shower. Now, go. Don’t come back.”
You groan in pain, stirring, and your mother takes Wade’s advice. Wade calls Yukio. Then Ellie. Then Yukio. Then Ellie.
“What the fuck, dude?!”
“You need to turn around. Now. I don’t have the time to explain. It’s Y/N.”
“Is she okay?” Ellie, always skeptical, asks.
“Obviously fucking not, or I wouldn’t be calling. She’s in heat.”
“But-“
“I said that I don’t have time to explain, fucking turn around! I’m on the verge of going fucking feral, Ellie. You both need to get here, now.”
“Wade, get out,” Ellie immediately demands.
“I can’t,” he admits.
“Get out! Shit, Wolverine! We need to turn around!”
“I can’t. It’s not like that I swear, it’s… I’m going fucking crazy, just one of you will do, but someone needs to get here.”
“Wade, go.”
“I would never hurt her! Come home!” Wade barks before hanging up. He returns to your room to find you’ve made a nest instinctively - thank goodness for Yukio’s affinity for pillows and blankets - and now you’re curled up in pain in the center of it.
“Wade,” you whimper. He’s scared to step closer, not sure if he’s what you want, even if you despise who you thought was your father. “What’s happening to me? Everything hurts.”
“I really don’t know how to say this, but… You’re in heat.”
“But I’m a beta,” you argue, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“That’s what we all thought. But… Remember how you didn’t smell like anything before? Uh, let me start over. When did you start on your anti-depressants?”
“I was about twelve,” you confirm, not sure what that means.
“Yeah, I think those were suppressants. That it’s always been suppressants, no matter what the bottles said. Until you got a prescription without your mother knowing. Do you understand why your mother would do that?”
You shake your head, and he approaches the bed, sitting down carefully as not to disturb your work.
“Her boyfriend around the time she got pregnant with you was a beta. We know him as Textbook,” Wade teases, before continuing: “But, what no one realizes is that he was at Niagara Falls on spring break around the time when you were conceived, and she was hanging out with her next-door neighbor the whole time. Her next-door neighbor was me.”
“Oh, so I’m your highschool mistake,” you say, connecting the dots.
“Huh?”
“Ha, well, whenever my parents- Well, I guess not my parents, but that’s beside the point, uh, whenever they argue and it gets really bad, my father- Well, not my father, but, uh-“
“Continue,” Wade urges.
“Basically, sometimes he uses ‘a mistake I made in highschool’ as code for ‘Y/N,’” you explain. “But the truth is, I’m the mistake you made in highschool.”
“You’re not a mistake,” he disagrees. “You’re- You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Lots of things are made by accident, but that doesn’t make them mistakes! Penicillin, potato chips, Post-It notes, popsicles! They were never supposed to exist but they do and the world is much better off with them in it.”
“You really do have a lot of useless knowledge,” you realize.
“So do you, that’s why our team always wins trivia night.” Wade slips off his boots, joining you in your rearranged bed. “C’mere,” he suggests, guiding your head to his neck.
“S’really you,” you mumble, already weary, and Wade worries for what’s to come. He almost doesn’t even want to let the girls in. He could get you pain medicine, he could probably even find sedatives. Then no one would ever be able to even touch you, let alone hurt you. “Lavender. You never mentioned the lavender, just the sandalwood.”
“I didn't think you’d be impressed,” Wade admits.
“It’s relaxing,” you tell him. “It’s nice to have things in common with someone.”
“You smell like roses, too, not just lavender,” he makes sure you know.
“Yeah, but I think that’s mostly concentrated in an area I’d rather not discuss with you.”
“Well, just make sure that if you do decide to do anything more with them than cuddle, which I can gladly go through the rest of my life without knowing, bee-tee-dubs, that the girls are wearing alpha condoms, especially if one of them knots you. Standard condoms work in a pinch if it’s just for one, y’know, go, but for heats they’re basically useless because of everything I just said. If they hurt you, I will make their deaths look like accidents.”
“S’not like I can get pregnant anyway…” You mumble, embarrassed. “I’m- I’m really glad it’s you. I- I wished so many times that it was you instead of him. Ow, ugh, that one was bad,” you groan, massaging your stomach.
Meanwhile, on the jet, Ellie is furious with herself.
“Yukio, you don’t get it, I smelled her. She smelled like an omega, but I thought- I assumed she was cheating on us. That maybe she didn’t want to be with us like that was because she wanted to- I don’t know, to be on top? It seems so stupid now.”
“Hey, I noticed she smelled different, too. There were other signs we both missed, anyways. Think about how emotional she’s been lately, or how much farther we’ve been going in other ways. How clingy she’s been, too.”
“I guess I didn’t really notice it because I liked her being more open and needing us more,” Ellie admits. “She- She almost fucking killed herself. And I thought cheating was what she was hiding. I- I just-“
“You can’t beat yourself up over it,” Yukio insists. “We’re on our way back, and Wade’s there to protect her.”
Speaking of Wade being there to protect you, he continues to comfort you as the pain gets worse.
“S’too hot,” you complain, and he releases you from his hold, rising from the bed. He knows he’ll have to leave you soon, because you’re likely going to need privacy before the girls get home, but it’s hard to part from you knowing you’re in pain.
“I’m gonna get you some water, okay? And after that, I’m just gonna stand guard outside the door until your girls get here. I know there’s some stuff you need to do, and that’s only gonna get worse.”
“It’s already awful,” you admit, and he chuckles.
“Good luck, kid. I love you.”
Wade gets a case of bottled water from the school’s industrial-sized pantry, bringing it to your room and tearing it open for you before leaving once more. You take one, immediately guzzling it down.
In privacy, you take off Yukio’s cardigan and your bottoms, leaving you in Ellie’s tee shirt and your underwear. You decide to go ahead and free yourself from the constriction that is your bra, feeling a bit embarrassed that you’re not leaving much to the girls’ imagination for your first time together. You eventually decide to undress completely, wondering when the hell your girls are gonna get here.
#a/b/o#yukisonic#yukisonic x reader#yukio x reader#negasonic teenage warhead x reader#ellie phimister x reader#yukio imagine#negasonic teenage warhead imagine#ellie phimister imagine#yukio#negasonic teenage warhead#ellie phimister#x-men imagine#x-men fanfiction#sapphic x reader#sapphic imagine#wlw x reader#wlw imagine
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By Your Doorstep (Part 5)
Summary: Sam moves back to town and under Dean’s roof meanwhile the reader learns more about Dean’s hesitancy in certain areas of their relationship...
Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 4,800ish
Warnings: language, mention of accidents, PTSD, past sexual assault, injury
A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…
_________
Reader’s POV
“Uh…” you said the next morning as you found a strange man in the kitchen. He spun around and you recognized the face. “Sam?”
“Y/N,” he smiled. “Nice to finally meet you.”
“You too,” you said. You walked over and he gave you a hug. “You get in town early for Thanksgiving?”
“Yeah, something like that. Dean said he might be out and to just let myself in,” he said. “Sorry, I thought I had the house to myself.”
“It’s fine,” you said, tugging Dean’s shirt down a little, grateful you at least had put a bralette on underneath. “He took my sister to an appointment. They should be back soon.”
“Cool,” he said as you went to make yourself a cup of coffee. “So um, I actually was going to surprise you guys today with some news. Well, you and Tessa.”
“What’s that?” you asked, grabbing your favorite mug.
“I’m moving back to Lawrence,” he said.
“Really? That’s great. He misses you so much,” you said.
“Yeah. Got a job at the big firm downtown. McKluskey & Associates,” he said.
“I heard really good things about them, at least when I worked at Hawthorne I did.”
“Oh Hawthorne is the worst,” said Sam. “They dump paralegals all the time.”
“Yeah. I was one of them. But I’m doing really good at Dean’s office. I just finished my first certification so I get a little pay bump for that,” you said.
“Nice. I know he loves getting to pop in and see you during the day, even for a minute. You’re very cute in scrubs apparently,” chuckled Sam. “I actually was going to talk to you about this but um, I was going to see if I could move in here for a bit while I look for a place. Is that cool with you? It’s totally okay if you’re not. I get it if you and Dean want your own space.”
“I’d love for you to stay, Sam,” you said with a big smile. “I really would like to get to know Dean’s family, his real family.”
“I’d like to know his new family,” he said. You both turned when you heard the front door open, Tessa giggling.
“I don’t believe you old man.”
“I am thirty one you little shit,” laughed Dean. “I so have been skydiving!”
“He definitely has,” said Sam. Dean poked his head out from the foyer and gave you both a big smile. “Hey De.”
“Sammy! You managed to get those days off work early?” asked Dean. He slipped out of his boots and jacket, quickly walking into the kitchen with a bag in his hands. He set it down on the counter and gave his brother a hug, Sam shrugging. “What?”
“Got that new job. Starts next month. I was wondering if I might still be able to crash here with-”
“Of course,” said Dean, quickly looking at you.
“I already told him it was cool,” you said, Tessa slowly walking inside. She set her starbucks cup down on the counter and got out her breakfast burrito. “Tessa this is Sam. You’ve said hi to him once or twice on the phone.”
“Hi,” she said quietly, looking at Dean.
“Sammy would you mind giving us a real quick second alone?” asked Dean.
“No problem,” he said. He excused himself to the bathroom and you got out your breakfast from the bag, Dean giving Tessa a nod. “Go ahead.”
“I want to see a different therapist,” she said. You sat back and looked at Dean. “If that’s okay.”
“What happened today? I know Dean sat in on your session.”
“I didn’t particularly like some of the comments the doctor made,” said Dean. “Tessa’s eighteen, not five. I think she should start going to a doctor for adults. Tessa’s not been happy with him for awhile she mentioned. I have a colleague from my med school days that specializes in young adults.”
“Tessa why didn’t you tell me you don’t like the doctor.”
“Because you say I have to go no matter what,” she shrugged. “I know there were only a few that we could get covered too.”
“I have a new health plan and we’re definitely going to switch you over to somebody different,” you said.
“Dr. Ketch is good. I used to use him when I was around here,” said Sam, walking back inside. “I was gonna call him up myself, try to get a spot in again.”
“I was thinking of Arthur for Tessa actually,” said Dean.
“Why do you go to therapy?” she asked Sam.
“Lots of reasons,” he said. “Pretty sure everyone in this house has so no need to by shy about it.”
“I’ll call Arthur,” said Dean to you. “It’ll be better for her Y/N.”
“You’re the doctor,” you said. You unwrapped your food and started to eat, Dean digging into his own meal while Sam sucked on some kind of green smoothie.
“Are you like a health freak?” said Tessa with a mouthful of food. Sam sipped some more and shrugged. “Good. He won’t touch my ice cream.”
“Oh I love ice cream,” smirked Sam. “I wouldn’t count on it being safe around me.”
“Are you teasing me?” she asked.
“Am I?” said Sam, slurping his smoothie again. Dean rolled his eyes and whacked the back of Sam’s head. “Ow.”
“She’s tougher than you, Sammy. I’m sure you two will harass each other to death,” said Dean while he ate.
“Mhm,” he hummed as Toast ran in through the doggie door. “You have a dog!”
“Yeah. This is Toast,” said Tessa. She leaned down and unclipped his vest, Toast rushing over and sniffing Sam. “That’s Sam. Don’t let him eat my ice cream.”
Toast barked and Sam looked at her.
“His vest isn’t on. You can pet him,” she said.
Ten minutes later Sam was in the backyard with Toast and Tessa, tossing around a ball and smiling like a little kid.
“Well we won’t have to worry about those two getting along I don’t think,” said Dean as you watched out the back window.
“I wasn’t too concerned. I know her sessions are private but what exactly happened today.”
“We talked a bit about how she feels about me being a part of your lives. She does like me, she cares about me even. But she’s still getting to used to sharing you with someone else. Tessa’s doing fine aside from an uptick in nightmares recently. Her doctor was very negative though. He doesn’t help her reframe things. I’m not a therapist but even I can do a much better job than he was. We talked after on the way to get breakfast and I think it’d be better for her to go to someone that helps her progress more, handle things on her own in healthy ways. Tell me to shove it if I crossed a line but it’s my honest opinion.”
“If Tessa thinks she wants to try a new doctor then I am all for it,” you said. “I’m glad you went with her after last night and everything.”
“She’s your sister...but…”
“I know. You watch her back and I’ll watch Sam’s?” you said. He smiled and nodded. “So I was thinking...you know how we were talking about that taking care of you thing last night?”
“Yes?” he said. “What’d you have in mind?”
“I was wondering if I couldn’t give you a little spa night tonight. A nice bath, massage, a fresh pie…”
“Mmm, that does sound nice,” he said. “But that sounds a bit extravagant.”
“Trust me?” you said. He threw his head back but sighed. “Good boy. You’ll love it. I promise.”
“How was your bath?” you asked that night, Dean’s skin all warm and soft as he laid on his belly in a pair of black boxer briefs in the bedroom.
“Nice. My skin feels all smooth. I should use the tub more often,” he hummed.
“You definitely should. I’m gonna give you a back massage now, okay? I’m gonna use a bit of some special lotion with oil in it,” you said.
“Go for it,” he said into his pillow. You straddled his back and squirted some lotion onto your hands, rubbing it in a bit before you put your hands on his back. You worked him slowly for a few minutes, Dean’s muscles tensed more than you realized. After a while he loosened up and you slid your hands to his lower back, Dean tensing once again.
“You okay? I didn’t hurt anything?” you asked.
“I’m okay. Just don’t take off my underwear,” he said.
“I’m not going to. I’m almost done and then I’ll get your feet,” you said. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, Dean closing his eyes. He was still for the most part, his feet not too bad and his back was all dry by the time you told him he could roll over. He didn’t move though and you figured he was comfortable where he was.
You washed up your hands in the bathroom, whistling as you came out, the bedroom empty.
“Dean…” you said, the back door open. You stepped outside, Dean standing by the railing and looking at the backyard. “Dean it’s cold out.”
“I need a minute,” he said. You went inside, taking a seat on the bed, Dean coming inside a few moments later. He wouldn’t look in your direction and you took his hand when he crawled back on the bed. “Thank you for the massage. It felt very nice.”
“You’re welcome.”
He moved his hand away and you looked across the room.
Only to have a pair of boxer briefs be dropped in your lap. You turned your head and Dean was laying back on the bed, naked, his face red.
“Dean, what-”
“I’m not going to get over this if I don’t try and I don’t want to be scared of you so...there,” he said. You smiled and laid back, bringing your head over close to his.
“Want me to get naked too?” you asked.
“No. I uh, think he’ll get excited down there and I’m not...ready for that,” he said.
“Okay,” you said, cuddling as close as you dared. You laid an arm over his waist and he eased, his fingers toying with your hair. “Proud of you.”
“You don’t even know what happened.”
“No but somebody hurt you so I know this is hard for you and I’m proud of you for facing your fears.”
“It’s not as bad as you think,” he said. “It was just...judgement free zone?”
“Always,” you said.
“I got stupid. I’d had a little too much. I let...I let the chick I was with tie my hands together, to the headboard at the motel we’d stumbled into. I shouldn’t have done that with a stranger. It was fun at first and everything and then I mentioned...fuck it, I said sometimes I like when a girl sticks a finger up there, like the tip when I’m getting a blowjob and it can feel good, you know?”
“I’ve met guys that like that. Nothing wrong with that,” you said, kissing his arm. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.
“I told her a tip of a finger. At most.”
“What happened?”
“She stuck a whole lot more than a tip in. Without prep. She didn’t care that I told her to stop. She did what she wanted after that and I was so freaked out and it hurt that I just...laid there until she was done and untied me and I never saw her again.”
“She assaulted you.”
“I did ask her to do it.”
“You asked for a tip of a finger, not whatever she did not to mention you said to stop. I don’t blame you one bit for being scared Dean.”
“I’m not scared of you,” he said. You leaned over and kissed his cheek, nuzzling his shoulder. “I’m just not ready for somebody else to touch me like that yet.”
“That is so okay,” you said. “I got you a little present.”
“I don’t need presents,” he said.
“I think you’ll like it. Stay right there,” he said. You got up and walked over to the closet, slipping inside and pulling out a bag. You carried it out to the bedroom, Dean sitting up on the bed.
“I hope you like it,” you said. You gave him the bag and he unwrapped it, smiling as he took out the new onesie and nice boxer briefs. “They’re supposed to be really soft and comfortable.”
“I love it, Y/N,” he said. “I’m gonna wear this thing like all day tomorrow.”
He took out the boxer briefs and tugged them on, smiling to himself.
“Oh wow, these are great. They’re so soft and comfy,” he said. He ran his hand over his thighs and nodded. “I know I’m okay with you. Give me a little more time is all.”
“Take all the time in the world. I don’t like you cause I want to have sex with you. I mean I do want to but it’s not why I want you,” you said as you sat back down.
“Why do you like me?” he asked. You shrugged and he tucked your hair behind your ear. “Cause I helped you guys out?”
“Because you’re kind...and you understand not being ready to be a parent...and you make me smile for the first time in two years. I missed being happy.”
“Me too,” he said. “I am very much down for a cuddle though.”
“That I can certainly do, Winchester.”
“Tessa…” you said as she was pulling on her boots by the front door the next afternoon. “Did you finish your history paper?”
“Yes,” she groaned. She put on her jacket and grabbed her purse. “Can I go? Hailey’s waiting.”
“Home by seven at the latest,” you said. “You have school in the morning.”
“I know,” she said, hooking up Toast into his vest and leash. “Later!”
“Have fun,” you said. She waved and took off with Toast, nearly knocking Sam off his feet as he came inside. “Careful, Tess.”
“Sorry, Sam,” she said, taking off with Toast outside.
“No problem,” he said. You sighed and he chuckled, kicking off his sneakers. “That Tessa’s friend? Expensive car for a high schooler.”
“Hailey’s dad owns a string of car dealerships. Plus her mom’s a doctor so they’re kinda rolling in it,” you said.
“True. I’m in the market for something new myself. You’ll have to give me the name,” said Sam, padding into the kitchen for a drink.
“Anytime. We always got a friends and family discount. Maybe we can sneak that in for you,” you said. “By the way, what happened to Dean? I thought he was working out with you in the garage.”
“I think I went a little too hard for him,” chuckled Sam. “He was laying on the floor last I checked.”
“Try not to kill my boyfriend, Sam,” you said with a smile.
“I’ll do my best,” he said. “I was gonna apartment hunt this afternoon if you’re interested.”
“Why don’t you stay here a little longer?” you asked. “If you want.”
“I don’t want to get in your and Dean’s way. You moved in not long ago yourself. I’m sure you guys want your space.”
“We have a barely eighteen year old living with us that’s gonna be here for a long time. Space isn’t really an issue,” you said. “And that was...we needed to get out of our old house. You’re so not in the way.”
“I’ll hold off for a bit then,” said Sam with a nod. You smiled and went out to the garage, Dean laying on the floor with his eyes shut.
“You alive there?” you said as you squatted down and poked him.
“I am never, never, never, working out with that psychopath again,” he said. He peeled open an eye and you ruffled his sweaty hair.
“Well I think Sam’s gonna stay here for awhile so you may have to suffer some more,” you said.
“Really? Good. I’d like him to stay. I think he was concerned about getting in your guys way though.”
“We can share,” you said, wiping your wet hand on his shirt. “Plus you’re extra hot all sweaty like that.”
“Am I now?” he smirked.
“Yes. Sweat is how you cool off so you must be extra hot. I thought you were a doctor, Dean,” you teased. He rolled his eyes and ran his hand over his face, wiping it on your arm. “Gross!”
“If I had the energy I’d give you a noogie,” he said. He sat up and leaned forward, stretching himself out. “I didn’t realize I was out of shape.”
“You’re really not. Sam’s a skinny little rail and all muscle that’s into running and that high intensity stuff. I bet you can bench press more than Sam any day,” you said.
“Yeah but he’s still pretty healthy. I am a doctor. I ought to practice what I preach.”
“Dean. You’re healthy and hot. I mean, work out with Sam if you want but don’t cause you think you have to, you know?”
“I know,” he said.
“Why don’t you do yoga with me tomorrow?” you asked. “It’s more fun than you think.”
“Sure,” he said as you helped him sit up. “I was thinking maybe once I’m not all sweaty I could…”
You both turned your heads as you heard a dog howling loudly. Your stomach dropped as Dean quickly got to his feet. He walked out of the garage and to the end of the driveway before he took off running.
“Call an ambulance!” he shouted back. You ran inside and looked for your phone, Sam watching you run around.
“Are you-”
“Sam give me your phone!” you shouted back. He took his from his pocket and tossed it at you, before you were rushing out to the garage. You jogged outside and to the end of the driveway, Sam already running down the street along with a few other people that were outside to the two cars that were smashed together a few blocks down.
You sprinted down, the voice on the other end of the phone saying help was already on the way.
“Tessa,” you said as you got up to the accident, Dean sitting with her and Hailey on the side of the road. She was crying hard, Dean holding onto her but he gave you a smile.
“She’s okay. Few bumps,” he said. You became aware of the dog whimpering and turned around, Sam helping get Toast out of the backseat. He was hurt, badly from the looks of it. “Y/N. Take Tessa and I’d call Hailey’s parents too. Tell the paramedics and any doctors she sees about the previous accident, medications, the seizures, all of that, okay?”
“Okay,” you said as you sat and he stood. “Where-”
“I got my own patient,” he said as he took off his shirt. He tossed it to Sam who started using it to put pressure on one of Toast’s injuries. “Sammy, I’ll grab the car.”
The guys headed back towards home, Tessa burrowing her face in your shoulder.
“Toast is gonna die,” she said, wrapping her arms around you.
“Sh,” you said, holding her close. “The boys are gonna do their best to get him help, okay? Don’t worry about it. Hailey, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, holding her wrist with her other hand. “It wasn’t my fault, I swear, Y/N.”
“That’s debatable,” mumbled Tessa. You hugged her and glanced over to the man sitting on the other side of the street, some people over with him.
“It’s okay. We’ll make sure you guys are okay and everything, I promise.”
Dean’s POV
“How’s he doing?” asked Dean as they got stuck in traffic. Toast was still howling and whimpering in Sam’s arms in the backseat when Dean checked his mirrors. “Fuck it.”
“Dean,” said Sam as Dean pulled onto the shoulder and drove up to the light, taking a right on the red and speeding down the road.
“It’s fine. Vet is right around the corner.”
Two Hours Later
“Mr. Winchester,” said the nurse, popping into the waiting room. Dean and Sam both got up and followed him through a pair of doors into the back of the office where a doctor in scrubs was walking out of another room.
“We can’t save the leg,” said the doctor. “It’s shattered, muscle’s been shredded, veins are-”
“Is Toast gonna live though?” asked Dean.
“He should. He is banged up pretty good but no signs of major damage aside from his leg. We’ll amputate and get him on meds. If he does well he can go home tomorrow.”
“That’s great,” said Sam.
“You want to go through with the amputation then?” they asked.
“Of course,” said Dean.
“The bill is going to be around four thousand for the procedure,” the doctor said. She waited and Dean stared at her, blinking slowly.
“I don’t care how much money it is. Fix my dog,” said Dean. The doctor went back inside while Dean got a bill for the service, Sam pursing his lips when Dean returned.
“Y/N’s gonna want to pay that.”
“Y/N ain’t gonna know about it,” said Dean, shoving his wallet back into his pocket.
“Dean.”
“Her sister was just in another car accident, Sam. She’s freaking the fuck out right now I’m sure. Besides, Toast is a living creature. He’s their family and he’s starting to be mine too. Can you imagine if I had to ask my patient’s families if they wanted to go through with life saving treatment cause it’s expensive? I put it on an installment plan. I won’t even notice.”
“Does Y/N’s insurance cover it?”
“Not something like this. If it was your dog I’d be doing the same thing,” said Dean. “Toast is gonna be alright and that’s all that matters so don’t say a word about this to either one of them.”
“Can he still help Tessa? With a leg gone?”
“I don’t know if he’ll meet the legal requirements of a service dog or not after this but that dog loves her. He’s still gonna watch her back, maybe a bit slower now is all. Y/N and Tessa are gonna have to decide if they want to get another one or not. She’s been going close to a year with no seizures though.”
“That’s really good, isn’t it?” asked Sam.
“Yeah. It doesn’t mean she won’t ever have one again but it means she’s doing good. Toast could probably handle things fine on his own, depends on what they’re comfortable with.”
“That kid’s pretty tough.”
“I know she is. She reminds me of you a lot.”
“Y/N reminds me of you. Except nicer,” chuckled Sam.
“I wasn’t your maid. You could pick up after yourself,” said Dean, leaning back in his chair. “They’re miles ahead of where we were.”
“She know we knew her dad?”
“Yeah. She knows he helped but not the extent of things.”
“Ever think it’s funny, you ending up with the her of all people?”
“No actually. Our families seem to fit together is all,” said Dean.
“I can second that,” said Sam, Dean’s stomach rumbling. “I’m gonna go grab some food for us. Call if anything happens.”
“Will do, Sammy.”
Reader’s POV
“Hey,” you said later that night, the guys returning home. Tessa popped up from the couch, rushing over. She teared up when she saw no Toast and Dean shushed her.
“There’s good and bad news. Good news, Toast is gonna pull through,” he said. She sniffled and looked to Sam then back at him. “Bad news...he lost a leg. He won’t be able to be a true service dog anymore.”
“I don’t care. Where is he? When can I-”
“He’s recovering from his surgery. The vet said it’d be a few days before he can come home. Tomorrow night at the earliest,” said Sam. “Maybe we can see him tomorrow after school?”
“Tessa’s staying home tomorrow but we’ll definitely get you over to see him,” you said.
“Good. You need to stay home and rest, Tess,” said Dean.
“The hospital didn’t even take me. I got a few bruises,” she said. Dean crossed his arms and Tessa rolled her eyes. “I wanna go see Toast.”
“Toast is resting and I don’t speak dog but you are the most important thing in his life and I know he wants you to rest too,” said Dean.
“But I’m fine.”
“Come here,” he said. He grabbed her arm and ducked outside, talking to her on the front porch as Sam ran his hand through his hair.
“Which leg?” you asked. “Toast.”
“His front left one. He’s got some stitches on his body. He’ll be okay.”
“She still needs a service dog,” you said.
“We’ll deal with it tomorrow. I’ll keep an close eye on her until we figure something out,” said Sam.
“Don’t know what we’d do without you boys,” you said. You shut your eyes and he gave you a hug. The door opened, Dean and Tessa returning inside. You glanced over to him but he just smiled. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just had a little talk,” said Dean. “Now off to bed and turn off your alarm. No school tomorrow, okay?”
“Night,” she said. She jogged upstairs and you heard her door shut softly, Dean taking a deep breath. He took a seat on the couch and closed his eyes.
“She alright?” you asked, taking a seat next to him.
“Yeah. I just...put things in a different perspective for her. Your perspective. She’s gonna go a little slower for the next few weeks. Toast is gonna need her to look out for him until he gets used to things.”
“I know she didn’t have a concussion or anything and it’s been a while since she’s had a seizure,” you said. He smiled as Sam went to the kitchen, returning with three beers. “Thanks.”
“No problem. They wouldn’t have let you guys come home if she wasn’t cool, right?” asked Sam.
“Let’s just watch her carefully for the time being. She might not need a service dog but she’s only going to get more independent and a year from now she’ll be in college and she’s gonna be on her own more. I told her she’s gotta think about that,” said Dean.
“Is that boyfriend Dean or doctor Dean talking?” you asked.
“It’s I care about my girlfriend’s little sister Dean,” he said. “Trust me. If I had doubts, I’d be calling for her to get a service dog lined up tonight. I think it’s a peace of mind thing right now. She can change her mind later if she wants.”
“It’d give me peace of mind,” you said.
“Yeah but take it from someone who was the younger sibling, let her choose if she wants it or not,” said Sam.
“Alright. Maybe...maybe Toast can get a prosthetic and still go places with her at least,” you said. “Or maybe he’ll be okay on just the three legs. Just slower.”
“I think she’s much more open to that,” said Dean. You nodded and sipped your beer, taking a deep breath. He threw his arm over your shoulder and tucked you into his side, kissing the top of your head. “She’s a tough kid and Toast is a tough dog. They’ll be okay.”
“She deserves a break,” you said.
“You both do. It’ll turn out alright, sweetheart. I promise.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 6 here!
#supernatural#spn#dean x reader#doctor!dean#au!dean x reader#dean winchester#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester x reader#dean#winchester#dean spn#spn reader insert#supernatural reader insert#doctor!dean x reader
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A Natural: Part 6
Description: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader: You’re a single mom, and your son is your entire world. When you take him to get his first hybrid, his choice is pretty bewildering, until you realize that he was picking out a dad.
Posted: 03/11/2021
Tags: Taehyung, Hybrid Taehyung, Human Reader
Wordcount: 5,024
A/N: It has not been a year, I’m still sorry. It just takes however much time it takes.
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” You asked, leaning back into the chair, dumbfounded. “He was allowed to come in last time.”
“The laws changed,” The man answered carefully. “The hybrid laws.”
You gripped the arms of the chair. “What?”
He uneasily handed you a newspaper.
You scanned over it, anger boiling up in you. “What?”
He folded his hands together. “I’m not saying we agree with this, but we have to comply or we could find ourselves in legal trouble. It’s the same for your other friend.”
You froze, thinking of Seokjin, who was supposed to work today. “I need to warn him….” You scrambled for your phone, quickly dialing Seokjin’s number.
Yoongi answered, but you gave him a quick rundown and he said he would tell Jin.
After you did that, looking at the newspaper in your lap, you sighed. “This timing isn’t good.”
“I know. I’m very sorry. But I also need to talk to you about your son’s recovery.”
You froze, slowly returning your gaze to the man. “Okay.”
“We’ve noticed in his physical therapy that he gets disoriented very quickly when we’re working with the crutches. Any time he’s in a standing position. We want to run some tests to see if there’s a reason for it.”
You nodded slowly. “Alright.”
“We want to do another MRI,” he said carefully.
You shifted uncomfortably. “Oh.”
“I understand that you’re in a difficult situation, financially. But we don’t want to risk anything.”
You nodded. “We don’t. Whatever he needs. I’ll…I’ll figure it out. Do what you need to.”
He nodded as well. “I’ll get it scheduled and we’ll tell his physical therapy doctors to keep him still until we can figure out what’s been going on.”
“Thank you.”
“And…there’s still a certification program for hybrids….” He hinted carefully, pulling a pamphlet from his desk drawer and slipping it across the desk.
You took it and nodded. “Alright. Thank you.”
He dipped his head.
You exited the office, clutching the paper in your hand, and then went down to lean in the doorway of your baby’s room.
Theo was awake, talking quietly with Jimin over the homework Namjoon had dropped off. He looked tired, and not at all as happy as normal.
You went in, not interrupting as you climbed up to sit beside him carefully.
He leaned into your hold. “Mommy, everything hurts.”
You kissed his head, holding him as tightly as you dared without hurting him. “I know. Why don’t we work on your homework some other time?”
Jimin gathered it up when Theo only sighed and closed his eyes, leaning further into your arms. “Where’s…?”
You cut him off with a look, darting a glance at Theo.
But Theo was already asleep, so you took a deep breath. “The laws changed last night. Hybrids…their freedom. Gone. Long story. Warned Yoongi and Jin. I’ll tell Taehyung when I leave. For now I just told him to stay in the car. I can’t stay long because of it, though.”
Jimin nodded. “I’ve got the day off. I can stay with him. What else did the doctor say?”
“They want to do another MRI, he’s been getting disoriented when upright.”
He frowned. “I wondered. He was okay until the nurse and I helped him to the bathroom, then he seemed to be in a lot of pain.”
You sighed. “I might drop Taehyung off at home and come back.”
“Work?” He asked.
You sighed. “Audits. We’re not allowed at the office. That’s why Yoongi is home.”
“Audits?” His eyes widened. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Well, it’s every section but mine and Yoongi’s so we’re the only ones with job security at the moment. If the company survives, that is.”
Jimin was quiet for a moment. “And if it doesn’t?”
“I’m going to have to find another way of paying these bills.” You smoothed Theo’s hair, studying the little frown on his face. He looked so frail to you. Sure, he was getting better. And he’d been in great spirits most of the time. He didn’t normally seem this frail. Maybe it was all in your head due to your conversation with the doctor.
“The nurse got permission to give him more painkiller before you went into the meeting with the doctor,” Jimin murmured, also looking at Theo.
You frowned. “He hasn’t had that very often. Only mild ones at night, to help him sleep better.”
Jimin nodded. “Thought so. Don’t like that.”
“Don’t like that at all,” You agreed, pressing another soft kiss to Theo’s forehead. “Stay close to him while I take Tae home?”
He nodded. “I’ll tell Theo you’ll be right back if he wakes up.”
“Thanks, Jimin. Everything quiet on your family front?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. They’re quiet for now. The dna test shut them up pretty well. Haven’t heard a peep, especially since you shut that lawyer up.”
You nodded. “Let’s hope it stays that way for now.”
Jimin nodded as well. “He’s really out. Go. You’ll be back soon.”
“Right,” You agreed, reluctantly, carefully extricating yourself from your precious son and his hospital bed. “If the doctor comes by with paperwork for the MRI tell him I’ll be back shortly and tell him about this?”
“Of course. Go, y/n. The quicker you leave, the quicker you’ll be back. I’m going to call and check on Jin.”
You nodded and grabbed your purse, looking over your precious baby one more time before hurrying toward the stairs.
Taehyung was pouting and playing on the tablet that you had brought for yourself, but he perked up when he saw you.
“The laws changed last night,” You told him before you were even fully in the vehicle. “If you want to visit him at the hospital you’d have to become an aid-hybrid.”
He took the pamphlet, frowning. “But…I just want to see my pup. Why can’t I see him?”
“I wish I knew. I have to take you home, though, and then I need to come back because they want to do another MRI and I haven’t signed the paperwork for it yet. He’s having a bad day,” You murmured, sighing. “He had to have pain medicine. He hasn’t had pain medicine during the day in a while.”
Taehyung whimpered, leaning across the console to rest his forehead on your shoulder. “But I want to see him. I want to see him. I know I can’t, but I want to.”
“I know. We’ll figure it out.” You told him softly. “He’s alive. He’s alive, we’re together. And if we can ever get him fully healthy, he’ll come home and we’ll all be together there. And we’ll take him to school, and he’ll grow up, and be good. He’ll be so good.”
“Amazingly good, the best, he’ll be the best person in the world—I can smell it!”
You gave him a gentle smile and then started driving, because you needed to get back to the hospital before any sort of MRI took place. You wanted to be there if they found anything. Anything at all.
You had just pulled into the driveway, when your phone started ringing.
Taehyung had grabbed it while you put the car in park, but he handed it to you with wide eyes.
You snatched it. “Jimin?”
“They-they…he—” Jimin stuttered, then let out a sound while you were throwing the car into reverse and Taehyung was keeping lookout for you. “He just…started…and they…”
“Jimin, full sentences. What happened?” You demanded, racing back toward the hospital.
“He woke up, but he was crying, and he was in too much pain and I paged the nurse and then Theo was screaming because he was in pain, and he wet the bed and the nurse hit the emergency button and they rushed him to testing and—y/n….”
You barely got the car into park, letting Taehyung take care of the vehicle as you bolted to the stairs and took them two at a time.
Jimin met you in the hall, but he was still babbling more or less, absolutely terrified.
You dragged him down the hall to a nurse that seemed to be waiting for you.
“He had a spinal aneurysm that ruptured, he’s in surgery right now and we’re doing everything we can for him. We’ll let you know his condition as things progress.”
You nodded, wanting to snap out a response about not being informed last time, but too scared.
Hadn’t you already gotten too close to losing your baby once?
Jimin squeezed your hand tight and gently pulled you away. “Did you get Taehyung home?”
You shook your head. “We’d just pulled in when you called. He’s parking the car.”
“Okay. Yoongi’s on his way with Jin. Jin can drive Taehyung back to the house.”
“You called Yoongi?”
“I was on the phone with him when Theo woke up. He wanted to take Jin over to your house to be with Tae anyway. He said somebody sane should be here with us when he texted me later.”
“Well he’s not wrong,” You breathed, the feeling of being punched finally settling into your stomach and leaving you breathless. Your baby was in surgery. Again.
It was an age before Yoongi actually arrived, crouching in front of you. “Any news?”
“Ruptured spinal aneurysm. Surgery. Supposedly getting more updates,” You croaked out. You wished Taehyung was here to squeeze the life out of you, but you opted for crushing Jimin and Yoongi’s hands.
“Ok…ok…um…Jin is with Tae, we saw him in the parking lot. I told them to go back to your house, if that’s okay?”
You nodded. “They can’t come in. It’s best if they’re somewhere they can sit comfortably.”
“I almost texted Namjoon and Hoseok but then I figured they were at work and I didn’t want them being distracted for the rest of the day. Best to fill them in when we know more, right?” Yoongi kept talking in a calm tone that was doing wonders to stop your head from spinning. “Have you told Taehyung what you know so far?”
You shook your head.
“Alright, Jin has his phone if you want to call and talk to Taehyung.”
You nodded.
Yoongi pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Hey, give the phone to Taehyung?”
You waited while Yoongi did, feeling nauseous.
“Hey, y/n wanted to talk to you,” Yoongi murmured, looking up and rubbing the back of your hand. “If she forgets, Theo is in surgery.”
You took the offered phone and got up, pacing away to find a place you could talk and break down without anyone around. “Tae?”
“Surgery?” Tae asked quietly.
“Um…ruptured…spinal aneurysm. They’re trying to fix him…but…they told me he was getting better. They told me….” You sat on the stairs and tried to breath.
“I know,” He whimpered. “I know. I wish I could be there. What can I do?”
“What can any of us do?” You asked in return. “Pray? Wish? Hope?”
“Hyung said we both needed to drink a glass of water,” Taehyung sniffled. “And I’ll do all of those things. Okay? We’re not giving up, not until we’re forced to. Both of us will go drink a big glass of water, try to calm down enough to not go crazy and rely on the others to help us through this.”
“Yeah…yeah, okay.”
“Call or text any new information?”
“I’ll give Yoongi that job since he’s the sane one.”
“That works. Y/n? You know that no matter what, you’ve still got me?”
You managed a bit of a smile. “I remember.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.” You hung up and stumbled back to the other two, letting your head fall onto Jimin’s shoulder. “I’ve been told to drink lots of water.”
Yoongi nodded. “I’ll go get all of us some bottles of water. And some snacks. We don’t want to be able to see him and then have to leave because we’re hungry.”
“And can you text them the updates as we get them?”
“Of course. Leave it to me. Thank god we had the day off, huh?” Yoongi tried, attempting to lighten the mood a bit.
You managed to nod even if your face refused to acknowledge the twinge of amusement you felt.
Yoongi kissed the top of your head. “We’ve got you, y/n.”
Jimin nodded as he rested his head on top of yours.
Yoongi kissed Jimin’s head as well, then strolled off to the cafeteria.
A doctor was the one to come out and call for Theo’s family.
An uneasy feeling bloomed within you, but you followed him into the consultation room with Jimin in tow and Yoongi promising to be right outside.
“We’ve done everything we can to help him, but there was significant damage that could cause life-long problems—”
“He’ll live?” Jimin clarified.
The doctor nodded, smiling gently. “He’ll live, but he may be paralyzed or live with significant pain. There is a minimal chance of there being no paralysis.” He kept talking about conditions and things but you were stuck in what had already been said. The word paralyzed bouncing around and echoing in your mind and not leaving any room for anything else.
You knew Jimin was filling Yoongi in, but you just couldn’t focus.
Theo was out of it when he woke up, still drugged up, but you got him to take some ice chips, and then sung him to sleep.
Hoseok and Namjoon showed up a little earlier than you expected, even with their summer schedules, but they were there.
Almost everyone was there, but the one other person that mattered the most to you and Theo.
——
“This one wouldn’t reach the threshold,” Yoongi grumbled, then shook his head. “That’s it. I’ll make the ramps you need. Come on. Let’s go pick up the supplies.”
“Are you sure?” You asked, pushing the cart with supplies after him. The two of you were picking up everything you needed to make things accessible for Theo. You’d done extensive research, and talked to a couple different companies about making your house wheelchair friendly, but all of them were so exorbitantly expensive that after crunching the numbers with Yoongi and Namjoon’s help, it turned out cheaper to just do it yourself, and since Yoongi was also on paid leave for work with the audit continuing, he offered to help set up and install everything.
“I’m sure. I took a lot of woodshop and carpentry classes in high school. Ended up helping the teacher teach the class. And my dad taught me a lot of things as well. He had a construction company and during the summers I would help out on some of the sites for some cash.” Yoongi glanced at his watch. “The class finishes in forty minutes, then we can pick up Jin and Taehyung, head back to the house and get some work done before you have to go relieve Namjoon at the hospital. Even then, Hoseok said he could take the next shift because Theo said he wanted to do some school work.”
“I never thought I’d be grateful for extended paid vacation due to auditing that might put me out of a job,” You muttered, thinking about how crazy it would all be if you had been juggling work on top of all of the things going on.
Theo was paralyzed from the waist down, which meant he would be wheelchair bound, and which meant you had a lot of work to do in the house. You’d already rearranged his room to be more accessible for him, and you’d checked the height of the dining table with the chair and your neighbor, who actually installed tubs and showers for a living, basically gave you all of the bathroom things that would help Theo, and had them installed for you for free since you’d helped him figure out an accounting thing earlier that year that saved his company from hemorrhaging money. You’d found a sort of kitchen counter-like table that you had set up now that was at a good wheelchair height. But there were still things like ramps that needed to be put in and around the house, and things in his bedroom to help him get in and out of bed, and just…things to give him more independence as he got older. Yes, a lot of that would come in the form of physical therapy, but until then, you wanted to make your house as accessible as possible.
“Jin said the class was a joke. He’s been compiling more useful information from perusing the internet and different nursing books.” Yoongi grabbed different types and shapes of wood that made little sense to you, but you figured he knew what he was doing. “He’s practically written his own guide at this point and has been going through it with Taehyung. Jimin’s been helping them, too.”
“Have you heard about that town?” You asked.
He turned toward you and nodded slowly. “I have. Jin just about cried hearing that there was a town, or at least a company, that was trying to take care of the hybrids in it. These laws are ridiculous. No, they’re cruel. A death sentence. I’m glad someone found a way around it all.”
“What are you going to do if the company goes out of business?”
Yoongi sighed, leaning against the shelf. “I don’t know. Jimin’s mentioned maybe starting our own company, so that we could employ Jin, but none of us could come up with any ideas for the company.”
You nodded. “Well, if you do come up with one, let me know. I’m a good number cruncher.”
He chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Alright, I think we just need some paint and some sand and we’ll be ready.”
“Paint and sand? Sand paper?”
“Nah, just sand.”
You followed after him, bewildered, but unable to find the words to ask what the sand was for.
“See, when I’m finishing the ramps, I’ll mix some sand into the paint for the tops of the ramps, and that will provide more grip for the wheels and for anyone who might be walking up the ramp as well. Less chance to slip and fall, but also still saving you money.”
You nodded, still a little lost, but trusting him anyway.
Jin and Taehyung were waiting on the bench outside the building, both talking animatedly, when you and Yoongi picked them up.
“This class is a joke,” Jin huffed. “We take the test tomorrow and we’ve learned nothing.”
“Except that the teacher doesn’t have any personal hygiene,” Taehyung added. “Hyung’s going to go over things that he saw in a nursing book with me instead. And Jimin’s going to bring some more books from the library when he gets out of work. I found more information about what might need doing from an article about trained service dogs.”
“Well, Theo will still have some independence, you know. So he won’t need as much as a service dog might provide, at least, not as much as far as we know. I’m still apprehensive about the other, other, other shoe dropping,” You muttered, rubbing your temples. “And at least it should be easy for you to get certified, even if that means you learn more at home. It will allow you to go to Theo’s school and such so it serves its purpose.”
“Yeah. I just…I think it’s a shame that this is all they’re teaching hybrids who are supposed to be helping people. I think we could do better,” Taehyung had a pout in his voice.
You opened your mouth, and closed it, turning slightly to look at Yoongi.
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, catching your look and nodding slightly.
That was definitely an idea.
“It couldn’t be that hard to teach us things like, how to lift an injured person, or how to help a blind person, or heck, what you need to know to help anyone. Why not teach hybrids sign language? I know it takes time to learn things like that, but come on! At least get us started, or connected to classes,” Jin ranted. “If a nurse can teach a parent how to lift their injured child to help them, why can’t hybrids be taught that? Most hybrids are stronger by nature! And we can provide more tangible companionship than dogs, who get twice the training we do! No, five times!”
“Did you want to attend the service dog training classes?” Yoongi asked, sounding serious.
That made Seokjin pause. “Wait, why?”
“Well, we could round out our company, and the world always needs more service animals and hybrids, plus then you’d have even more extensive training. Remember that abandoned building over on Fitzgerald road? It’s still in good condition and it’s probably big enough for multiple classes, and training. There’s probably more that we’ll have to look into, but getting certified might be a good first step.” Yoongi looked like he was already mentally crunching numbers.
You slowly started nodding. “Yeah. It would.”
Jin and Taehyung looked lost, but you weren’t really ready to expand as you started calculating an estimate of what it possibly could take to open a training center. Your savings would be shot when it came time to pay the medical bills in full.
Yoongi turned on music just as Taehyung started asking what the two of you had been talking about.
It appeared to be forgotten once at the house though.
By the end of the day, Yoongi had two ramps that were the perfect height and slope and fit over the steps beautifully. Only two more ramps were needed and he promised to have them done by the next day. Then the two of you were sitting with Jimin while the hybrids poured over a book Jimin had brought from the library.
“How much money would it cost to start up?” Jimin asked, looking at the list you and Yoongi had compiled after your research during lunch (you’d given Hoseok the go-ahead to take the next shift with Theo after a phone call with your baby that proved he was in good spirits and more than ready for some catch-up schoolwork).
You pushed the paper toward Jimin.
His eyes scanned it, then he leaned back with a “huh”.
“I can’t swing it with the medical bills,” You murmured, anxiously tapping the end of the pen on your hand.
“My parents want to pay for them. I say let them. And I can do this, like an investment,” Jimin said, shrugging. “Do it. I bet the shelters would love a way for more hybrids to be adopted, and it makes sense. We all still have our jobs, so it’s not like we’re going to risk too much right now. One of us will have to get certified, but I can do that since I’ve already taken some of the classes. And I bet we can work with some of the shelters. I think it’s feasible.”
Yoongi nodded. “I think so too, but Jimin, I can contribute to paying for it all.”
“Forget it, my parents settled their fortune on me after they got their heads out of their asses about Theo’s existence.” Jimin shrugged. “There was more to it than that, but after hours of arguing…let’s just say they’ll be quiet for now. I don’t promise there won’t be trouble in the future, but for now things should be okay. But back to business. Let’s start getting everything together, and working on whatever certifications we might need for this. If you guys want to contribute, you can do so in other ways, but for now it’s best if our money comes from a single source. You’re paying for the apartment right now, anyway, hyung. Think of it as the rent and groceries for the past four months.”
Yoongi was studying Jimin. “You caved and went to work with them, didn’t you? Is that where this job came from?”
“No, I negotiated and my job until I inherit is to manage updating our rental properties and everything that goes with them. It’s more basic than it sounds.” Jimin waved it away. “I’m happy with it, so I’m not complaining, and I can cover the start-up costs. I’ll probably want to work with all of you anyway, so we can just settle it with wages later. You guys do the brain-work, because it makes my head spin.”
“I don’t think I can let your parents pay for Theo. There are too many strings that could still be attached,” You said carefully.
“Look, I can’t explain everything right now, but the money they planned to use had been set aside for…my brother. Since my brother is dead, I convinced them it was only fair and right that his son inherit that. The eventual agreement was that it would be used to pay for his medical bills if he had any, and then college if he wanted to go. Otherwise he would inherit at thirty. There’s a lot more discussion they want to have. With a lawyer, and with you present, in regards to the money, but this was what we managed to come to for the time being. If you refuse, then I have to go back and argue with them for another three days. Please don’t make me argue with them for another three days.” Jimin flopped onto the table with a pout.
You weighed the options out, but kept staring at him. “The strings are attached to you, aren’t they?”
He sighed. “Why am I friends with people who are so suspicious? Yeah, sure. I mean, they made me promise that I would keep them updated on his health. Give them the highlights, like, “Oh, he won the school spelling be” or “he got straight A’s on his report card, again”. But I made them promise not to try and contact you or Theo except through me, and I have it in writing with several witnesses, including their lawyers and a lawyer friend of mine. Is that okay?”
You nodded slowly. “Okay. You can tell them they can pay his medical bills, only because our boss is an idiot that tried to embezzle and if he gets away with it me and Yoongi will be the first ones fired for reporting it.”
“Fair enough,” Jimin replied, smiling. “I’ll let them know. Now, any more objections?”
“I have an objection,” Taehyung huffed, folding his arms. “Don’t you think it’s a little rude to talk so secretively in front of other people?”
Seokjin looked nervous about Taehyung’s objection, fiddling with his flip phone.
Yoongi shrugged. “You two were reading, we were working.”
“Working?” Taehyung asked, coming over and plopping into the chair you pushed out for him.
Seokjin sat beside Jimin.
Yoongi started to talk, but the doorbell rang.
You paused, surprised, then hurried toward the door.
Namjoon held up the bags of food. “I brought dinner. Hoseok is on his way. The hospital had to do a security drill and wouldn’t let him back in because he went to the car to get his book while Theo was sleeping. He said he talked to Theo on the phone and Theo said it was okay for him to go. He still expects you later.”
You nodded. “Okay. Thanks for bringing food, I hadn’t even thought about it.”
“You aren’t going to close the door?”
“Hoseok’s pulling in, it’d be a little awkward,” You answered, glad when Jin came and took the bags from Namjoon because he looked about five seconds away from dropping all of the food onto the ground.
Hoseok hurried up to you. “I’m so—”
“Namjoon explained already. I’ll call Theo’s room and check on him, and I’ll head over as soon as we’re done eating. Come on, Yoongi was about to explain what our job-plan is for after we lose our current jobs.” You ushered him into the house and led the way back. “How’s your summer going so far?”
“I miss teaching already,” Hoseok complained.
After everyone had gotten a plate full of food, Yoongi went over the entire plan concisely. “If we can get this to work, then not only could you two work if you wanted, but we could also help other hybrids get adopted or help them get jobs when the laws change. Because there’s no way these laws are staying the same. It’s still going to be a process, but if we can get it to work….”
Namjoon nodded. “That would be cool. And I would totally be cool with teaching there too, especially in the summer.”
Hoseok nodded emphatically. “I mean, I wouldn’t want as crazy of a schedule as during the school year, but uh, income would be nice.”
“What, tutoring my baby so that he won’t be behind next school year isn’t enough for you?” You teased.
Hoseok rolled his eyes. “You’re paying me in edible food, remember?
“How did lessons go?” Taehyung asked, longing in his eyes.
Hoseok got quiet. “It…was slow. I can see his mind working, but he just can’t seem to find the answer even though I know he knows it and he knows that he knows it. I just think it will take a while for his brain to readjust. There’s a lot going on still, and he’s still getting it, it’s just taking him longer than it used to. He’ll get better at it as he gets physically stronger and things don’t tire him out as easily. He’s still a great speller. He spouts out words all the time.”
You nodded. “He’s been through a lot. He’s still bright and happy, and he’s…mentally active and able. That’s more than enough for me.”
Tae nodded, leaning to rest his head on your shoulder, gazing at nothing. Probably thinking about Theo.
You knew you were thinking about your son. You just wanted to bring him home.
--
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Cheryl//you can’t go through life trying not to get hurt
Request: So can I ask for a cheryl x reader where r does everything to make cheryl happy and just being supportive of her?
hey! i kind of got just a little bit carried away with this. but i think i pulled it back! i hope you like it! also, i know the title is an archie quote but i don’t really care because it fits and i like it! plus, they’re both red-heads so what’s really the difference?
- We know Cheryl hasn’t had the best life
- Her entire family and everything to do with it is tainted
- So for a long while, she thinks she’s tainted to
- And when she meets you
- On a rainy Friday night, sat by Sweetwater River
- With your hair plastered to your face and the brightest smile she’s ever seen
- She knows she has to stay away from you
- Because anybody who can be that happy sat in the pouring rain
- Is somebody too pure for her
- So she turns around and heads back to her car
- Deciding that if she wants to be alone, she can just do it at home
- But then she hears it
- Your voice
- So soft, but so demanding
- And you’re calling her name
- Her name has never sounded so pretty
- Even if it is coming from a complete stranger, who’s staring at such a dark place like its the most beautiful thing in the world
- ‘yea-yeah?’
- Her confidence slips for just a few seconds and its purely down to the way you’re looking at her
- Like she’s filled with magic and wonder and mystery
- A mystery you’re going to solve
- Spoiler alert...you do
- ‘come sit’ You pat the rock beside you and she glances warily between you and it
- It may have stopped raining but that rock is still very wet and she’s wearing a new skirt
- ‘oh come on. live a little’ Your eyes sparkle as you speak
- She eventually concedes and sits beside you
- Now she just has to make sure she doesn’t give too much away
- Never let anyone else in
- Its the mantra she’s been repeating for as long as she can remember
- This time she’s going to stick to it
- Spoiler alert...she doesn’t
- Because thats easier said than done when a pretty girl is asking her questions
- Or just paying attention to her tbh
- So she asks you questions instead
- ‘how do you know who i am?’
- Normally she’d be afraid of a complete stranger who knew her name
- But this time, she’s just curious
- She wants to know who you are
- Why you’re in Riverdale?
- How has a town so full of dark secrets and awful people managed to capture you?
- She’s expecting a long winded explanation about how you just moved from a big city
- Because lets be real, thats the only place she can picture you living
- But instead you just laugh
- Such a light, unexpected laugh
- And now she’s unsure of what to say
- What do you say to that?
- ‘i know a lot about a lot’
- ‘wow’ She mutters
- She couldn’t help it
- She is Cheryl Blossom after all
- She can’t been seen as anything other than a bitch
- But when she see’s the flash of hurt in your eyes
- She can’t help but feel even more like the worst person in the world
- She mumbles a quick apology and looks at the river instead
- ‘its fine.’ You shrug. ‘you’ve been through a lot’
- ‘how do you know?’
- ‘i just do. but you will be okay cheryl, and don’t worry, you could never taint anything. i don’t think you’re capable of even leaving a trace of something bad.’
- She really wants to say something
- But what the hell do you say to that?
- And when she turns to face you, hoping the right words will find their way somehow
- You’ve vanished
- For a split second she thinks you’re a ghost
- Its not the first time she’s had full on conversations with the dead
- But then she hears a thud
- Followed by a groan and a small ‘ow’
- And it makes her laugh
- Like properly laugh
- The first she has in a while
- She watches you stand and give her an awkward wave before actually disappearing
- For the rest of the weekend you’re the only thing she can think of
- By the time Monday rolls around she’s determined to find you
- It can’t be hard
- You’ve got to be a new student
- And Betty gives tours to all the newbies
- She’ll just ask her
- Thats easier said than done though
- She tried looking for her cousin before classes started
- She even came in early
- But no luck
- So she has to wait until lunch time
- And that makes her worry
- By lunch time, you could have been told literally everything about her
- How her brother was murdered by her father
- How awful her mother is
- She was almost assaulted
- She attempted suicide
- And she joined a cult
- Just to name a few
- Riverdale High is a breeding ground for rumours
- Usually created by her
- But they spread fast around here
- When lunch time rolls around, she’s sure you’re going to know how much of a train-wreck she actually is
- Despite all of that though
- Something inside her wills her to ask Betty about you
- She then goes on to describe everything she remembers about you
- Maybe in a little too much detail
- ‘she had sparkly y/e/c eyes’
- ‘and y/c/h hair that framed her face in just the nicest way’
- ‘and her smile...it was wonderful’
- ‘...right. did you get a name?’
- ‘if i got her name do you really think i would be here right now?’
- ‘che-’ Betty is cut off by someone calling her name
- The sound of it making Cheryl feel like she can’t breathe
- She knows that voice
- Even Betty’s name sounds nice when coming from her
- From you
- But hold on
- You’re hugging Betty
- Thats way too friendly for someone you’ve only known for half a day
- ‘hi cheryl’ Your wave is less awkward than it was on Friday night, but your smile is just as cheerful as you look at the red head.
- Okay, now she definitely doesn’t know what to say
- Betty quickly puts two and two together and smirk appears on her lips as she looks between the two of you
- She has known about your small crush on Cheryl for a while
- So she decides to help you out
- ‘what were you saying about y/n’s smile? it was amazing? no! wonderful!’
- ‘shut up betty. i think your boyfriend wants you’
- She’s practically shooing Betty away and she mutters something under her breath but walks away anyway
- Once she’s gone, Cheryl turns back to you and just stares at you
- ‘so, you go here?’
- ‘yep?’
- ‘how long?’ She really doesn’t want to know the answer
- ‘as long as you have’ You don’t seem annoyed when she looks at you
- The opposite in fact
- You kind of look amused
- ‘how have i not noticed you?’
- ‘you’ve been pre-occupied I suppose’
- ‘how can i make it up to you?’
- ‘notice me’
- ‘i’ve definitely already done that.’
- ‘take me to pops then’
- She never wanted to do something more
- But she’s torn
- She wants to say no. To keep you safe from her and everything that come with being involved with a Blossom
- But the way you’re looking at her makes her knees weak and her head dizzy
- So she says yes
- And its the best decision she’s ever made
- At first you take it slow
- She’s been hurt before
- And she’s hurt other
- But something that makes it easier is the fact that you already know everything about her
- Even if you were in the background during most of it
- She’s so excited to get to know you
- One of the first things she learns is how you’ll do anything to make the people you love happy
- Especially her
- She’s quite literally never met anybody like you
- You’re just so supportive of her
- Nobody has ever treated her like that
- So at first she doesn’t really know what to do
- But then she remembers the night you met
- And how you were so kind to her
- Even though she didn’t know who you were
- And she slowly starts to get used to it
- In return she learns how to be more supportive of others
- Something her friends are incredibly grateful for
- To the actual supporting/happy bit because I kind of got a bit carried away
- Whenever she’s sad
- Whether it be because she’s missing Jason
- Her mom/other family members have made an unwelcome appearance in her life
- Someone has been rude to her
- Or she’s just sad
- You will do literally anything and everything to make her smile
- Cuddles? Hell yeah!
- She wants to stay in bed all day? That sounds like an amazing day.
- She wants to watch her favourite film/tv show? Definitely
- ‘where do you keep your dvd’s?’
- ‘what century are you living in? you know there is a thing called the internet.’
- She wants her favourite food from Pops? You’re already out the door
- You’ll go for drives around town while she tells you stories of her and Jason
- Or you’ll let her teach your archery or some other weird hobby she has
- Plus, you’ll tell her all the stupid jokes you know
- Usually she laughs more out of pity than humour
- But it still counts
- ‘sure it does babe’
- And if someone has made her angry
- It doesn’t really take much
- But you’re working on it
- You are 100% behind her if she wants to ruin their life (in moderation)
- You go along with whatever crazy plan/scheme she’s though of that week
- She wants to start a business? Where do you sign? This is the best idea ever
- Steal something from somebody thats wronged her? Where is the best place to buy spy-wear
- Create a little chaos? You’ve already got three ideas planned out you just need her approval
- Its not just silly things either
- She decides she wants to go to therapy (everybody in this town needs it, including Pop). You’ll go with her and wait outside of every single session if she wants you to.
- You usually spend the time googling how to help her (she just thinks you spend the entire time on Instagram)
- She wants to properly cut off her family (with the exception of Nana Rose and the twins). You 100% support her if thats what she wants
- As your relationship grows, so does your support
- She’s literally never felt more loved than when she’s with you
- And you make it a mission to make her feel like this for the rest of her life
- Spoiler alert...you do
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