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College Shenanigans

I have binge-watched sooooooooo many shows while doing my homework assignments. It sounds like a bad idea, but I'm in Apparel Design & Production, so my homework includes hours and hours and days of sewing. Literal days, and I'm autistic, so you know I MEAN literal. I added it up for this skirt I was working on, it was around 45 hours of hand sewing lace on this one skirt. WTF am I doing with my life!!!

So my list of shows that I have caught up on this semester is as follows:

~Star Wars -Bad Batch -Rebels -Ahsoka -Mandalorian -Boba Fett -Obiwan Kenobi -Tales of the Jedi -Some of Resistance (killed my spirit enough that I had to take a break from Star Wars... just NO on Resistance, I refuse to finish it, so when I go back to Star Wars I'm watching a different one) ~The Rings of Power ~Hazbin Hotel ~Elementary (the best modern version of Sherlock Holmes) ~Some of The Librarians, some of Warehouse 13... decided it was a no on both those. ~Good Omens (S2 is meh, sorry, but it just doesn't have the chaos of S1, it's still very cute and has some great scenes, love Crowley always, but... eh... I missed the chaos) ~The Sandman (Can't wait for more) ~Dead Boys Detective Agency ~Arcane ~Lupin (fabulous, most people I talk to are fans of Sherlock Holmes and have never even heard of Arsene Lupin, for shame... read the books they're great, and this show just gets better the further in you go) ~Sweet Tooth

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can someone recommend some beginner normal behaviors for someone looking to become normal

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google search: how to take a break from the linear flow of time

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Family Hijinks... AITA

My brother likes cooking, if he weren't rather set on being a chemist he might think about going to culinary school. He frequently cooks for the family. Or else cooks for himself and makes enough that there is extra for others to eat.

Today he and my sister made ramen for lunch for us all.

We all ate, standard appreciative noises, it was pretty good generally.

He asked me what I thought of it. I said, "its really good, maybe a bit much soy sauce for my tastes."

He was like "what? You think it's too salty?"

I was thinking, 'it's ramen (generally salty), and while this is pretty salty that's not my complaint, it just tastes a lot like soy sauce (not just a salty flavor).' So I said, "it is pretty salty, but no... I think there's too much soy sauce flavor"

And he was like, "you must be tasting the Szechuan sauce, it's pretty salty."

And I was like, "no... I'm telling you I taste too much soy sauce."

This is a frequent issue of ours if I have any slight criticism of his cooking, even when I generally also say it's good and if I have something to say otherwise I always specify that it's my opinion because as I stated before he is frequently cooking for himself with left overs. He's allowed to cook his own food to his tastes. I feel like I can't give him honest feedback, I feel like he can't accept even minor critisism, and I feel like he won't accept that my tastebuds do in fact work and that my experience as something different from his is allowed even if he doesn't agree. I can't tell him, "I personally think it's too salty/sweet/soy-saucy". without him basically saying "you're wrong, because I don't taste it that way". It's the same if he and my sister are play wrestling and she's like "ow! That was too hard!" He's like, "I barely hit you/I barely put effort" as though his experience as the person hitting is more valid than that of the person who was hit and said it hurt.

Anyway...

He kept telling me I wasn't tasting too much soy sauce and that I was mistaking it with the Szechuan. So I went to the kitchen, tried a bit of both in front of him and was like, "wow, my tastebuds work and I can in fact distinguish between salty flavors! I think it had too much soy sauce."

Then later I heard him mocking me in a high-pitched nasally voice for stating my opinion.

Am I rude for saying what I actually think? I thought my delivery was in the correct format (praise-critique/opinion if not praise-critique-praise). Should I just not say anything when he asks me about his cooking anymore if his typical response is to take small advisements like a personal attack, get defensive, and then try and attack my own ability to perceive reality and form a personal opinion about it? What am I supposed to do, just lie?

(I'm probably autistic, so... serious questions)

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Fuck you Youtube

Your unskippable ads that pause when I change tabs change nothing.

You can make me play your ad, but you can't make me watch.

Not sorry, but I've left the room.

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Anyone else get annoyed when a man is like "hey, where's this thing?" and you tell them as much as you know and they're like "well, that's not really very helpful" because they don't actually want you to tell them where the thing they're looking for is, they want you to go and find it for them.

Dude. I've told you as much as I know, you're the one who needs it, I'm not gonna drop what I'm doing to go find it for you when you are perfectly capable of acting on the intelligence I've given you. I have shit to do!

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the “pleasure to have in class” to overly active tumblr user pipeline

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College Shenanigans

"The horrors persist, yet so do we"

-the way my teacher finished an email to everyone in the class

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Family Hijinks

Me: *comes downstairs at 1pm still in pajamas*

Mom: "did you only just wake up?"

Me: "I've been awake for hours, I was just hiding from my responsibilities."

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So... continuing to learn that many of my quirks and hang-ups are actually ASD

I don't feel like I was an overly self-aware child... but maybe that's a common phenomenon. I do remember in elementary school that one of my friends remarked on how slowly I wrote. Typically 2-3 times slower than everyone else. Later, like... high-school or after, my mom told me that when I was younger I was actually given extended time for test-taking. In fact they recommended to her that I be tested for... something.... She told me that if the school wants a student tested for something, the school has to pay for it, so... instead, they recommend to parents that they get their child tested for... whatever.... We could not afford it at the time, so I just have never gotten diagnosed for anything.

Grandma was a psychologist though and thought... thinks? I have... something. I think she's a bit off her rocker and too many decades off from the current research to be diagnosing me with anything. Especially after all the "meet my eyes when I'm talking to you", attempts to force me to interact socially with strangers, and that one time she tricked me into a therapy session because she thought I was depressed. Nothing came of that session. I have since tried to tell her "I'm an introvert, social interaction exhausts me" ("I know you "think" you're an introvert..."), "I'm not dating anyone, I'm not interested, I'm probably ace-aro" ("I don't believe that's a real thing..."), "I'm probably autistic... I found this test in the papers you were throwing out and I scored..., which is high enough that it indicates I am autistic, but I think my score would actually be higher based on research I've done that indicates that autism expresses itself differently in girls than boys...." (she notably gave no response to this assertion).

I have at this point done quite a lot of reading on autism, some studies, some blogs, etc.

And... it just makes me feel known.

I can't remember faces well, maybe it's because I tend more often to look over peoples' shoulders? Oh, well... there are a multitude of articles about how some ASD people tend to have difficulties with that.

I am frequently quite photosensitive and some sounds cause me something equivalent to physical discomfort/pain. ASD's got that covered.

Difficulty reading tone, difficulty emoting (I have on multiple accounts, independent of each other, been told I reminded people of Data or Spock because of the way I talk and the way I act), tendency to take things literally, distaste for acting outside what I consider "okay", hyperfixation, visual and emotion based thinking, atypical pattern-recognition skills, etc.....

There are just terms for things I've experienced that made me feel like I was failing or held back even though to all appearances I am relatively... functional (for lack of a better word).

Executive dysfunction Task paralysis Demand avoidance Auditory processing disorder

Like currently I am experiencing so many things associated with autistic burnout it's not even funny. I'm just anxious, borderline depressed, it's a struggle to move to the next stage of projects I both want and need to work on, I don't want to talk to anybody, I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me or ask me to do anything.

Uuuuuuuuuurgh. Maybe I just need to go and actually talk to somebody at my college and be like "surprise, I'm autistic!!!!" But it's not actually a freaking surprise because a properly diagnosed classmate from my second semester was like "yo, I'm diagnosed and I've got to say... you give major ASD vibes, it makes you easy to talk to."

Like... "what? Thanks? You too? Are easy to talk to...."

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I AM an unknowable eldritch entity, thanks for noticing.

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Weaponizing oversharing

Every time my little brother sneezes and doesn't do so into his elbow, I explain the entirety of that Mythbuster's episode where they tested many ways and discovered that sneezing into your elbow is the most effective at reducing both direct and indirect transference of germs during and after sneezing.

My goal is to annoy him into making sneezing into his elbow a thoughtless habit, so that he doesn't do it wrong, gross me out, and get yet another rant about how sneezing into your elbow is right and proper and the only correct method.

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I wanted to be Mary Poppins.

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the real forbidden snack

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Shower thoughts

Is the concept of heaven a dystopia?

A lot of media when attempting to present heaven & angels depict them as righteous to the point of committing atrocities. That angels are soldiers of heaven and without freewill, they are not human, their understanding of "good" is beyond the human's understanding of "good".

But the whole apple thing was like "eat this and you'll know the difference between good and evil", and that gave them freewill.

So if freewill comes with understanding what good and evil is, then... the angels as lacking freewill, do they even have an understanding of what evil is beyond that it exists? Is their understanding of evil less refined?

Like when I was in elementary, the teachers were like "if you're ever bullied, tell a teacher" and I was like, okay... bullying in movies is jocks pushing nerds into lockers, or stealing their food, or giving them an atomic wedgie... so... therefore I'm not being bullied. I was in fact being bullied, but since the method of the bullying didn't match my understanding of the concept of bullying I just thought they were mean.

So... angels without an understanding of evil beyond that it exists, can they actually recognize evil beyond being 'not good'. Limiting concepts, vocabulary, and understanding is dystopian, right?

'Not good' leaves a lot of leeway on what is actually occurring, shades of grey. If all they can understand is that 'not good' = 'evil' there cannot be shades of grey. Humans almost exclusively exist in shades of gray. Everyone goes the righteous way of handling this where angels really do go very extreme in the 'not good' = 'evil', but... Aziraphale in Good Omens (I haven't seen S2, no spoilers) takes it the confused way where he tries to figure out well this is 'not good', so... it's evil then... but is it actually? What a mold breaker.

Also... if we present good and evil as 'kind' and 'not kind'... then....

If sharing is kind, then not sharing is not kind, so if you have something it should be shared if you are to be 'good'. So then... do angels have a concept of personal property? And I don't mean this in the nonmaterialistic sense, but... a 'I didn't realize that counted as stealing because things are meant to be shared. What do you mean this is yours?'

And then an angel getting confused over the whole 'ownership' of things (which should be shared because it is good and kind).

I think Welcome to Night Vale angels are somewhat like this, since they have no concept of currency. Why would you need it if things should be shared?

[softheartedsadist]

Made two eggs for dinner... both were twin-yolked. I cooked them over-easy, which I suck at, and managed not to break any of the yolks. Ate them on toast :P

you! the person reading this! please tell me one good thing that happened to you today