#i think she has far bigger problems to deal with than her love life after going through that shit

[maxthesillyy]

i think my biggest issue with ppl who proclaim their love for warren is far more than whatever minuscule love they have for chloe— is how quickly that snowballs into a conversation about how chloe is “toxic and annoying” and how they sacrificed chloe JUST for warren

[shadowbriar]

Five Hargreeves — Daddy Issues

Pairing : Five Hargreeves x (she/her) CIA!Reader Word Count : 3.3k Warning : Angst. Character death. Snogging but nothing too graphic. Season 4 references. Synopsis : He promised himself that he would not let her come near his family madness, but the marigold was melting his blood vessels and none of his siblings look like they’re ready for a real fight. Notes : Inspired by The Neighborhood - Daddy Issues. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

The lack of presence on the other side of the bed made him pull himself entirely out off of drowsiness. Five’s frown was deep when he pulled the blanket up to cover his body, half sitting up with his elbows as support as he scans the room. It was far too early for his liking.

He caught her standing by the bookshelf, his white shirt hanging loose on her shoulders. A small satisfied smile tugs in the corner of his lips. The sight was too pretty for him to not appreciate. She was lost in her own world, caught in her own thoughts. Too busy reading the scribbles of some crumpled paper to realise that the other person in the room has awakened.

“Found something you’re looking for?”

She looks up to see him with a wide smile, looking slightly sheepish of being caught red handed, “No, but I found this,” She took out the fake moustache she found, placing it on her face “How do I look?”

“Ridiculous,” Five says, rolling his eyes “Come here so I can rip it off of you.”

Her grin only becomes wider as she comes closer to the man. She sits on the edge of the bed, leaning so that he could take the silly moustache off of her.

“What’s the story?” She asks, still curious about the peculiar item “Any exciting undercover stories you want to share?”

“You know I can’t even if I wanted to. And I don’t,” He remarks, giving her a playful disapproving look “What were you doing rummaging my stash?”

She shrugs, “I was just bored. You always wake up much later than I do.”

“It’s only what— 6 am? It's not my fault you have sleeping problems.”

She rolls her eyes in response.

Five bite down his smile as he leans in, kissing her softly.

This wasn’t what Five had in mind when he ran through the portal six years ago. Losing his powers and having to build a new life in a strange timeline was certainly not in his to-do list, but developing some clandestine affair with a girl from work was a bigger mindblown for the mentally sixty three years old man. Romance and any other personal relationship were practically out the window the moment he understood about the Apocalypse. Yet now, after one too many timelines, Five has found himself entangled with the knots of love.

He would never admit it out loud. Afraid that a confession would only spoil the fragile bond they’ve created. Hell, this was never even a proper relationship. It was just a simple deal made by two adults. A little roleplay they do whenever they’re alone. Nothing too serious, nothing too monogamous. Strictly business.

But he knew he was doomed the moment he tasted her. There was no other drug that could be as intoxicating, no other substance as addicting. The way that she knew just how much of a dose to give to get him crawling back for more. How she would push further than she pulled him. A little game she does that he’d never grow tired of.

There was only one rule— no rules within these four walls. He could show her how much he cares, how much he worships her, whenever she comes over. Not an inch of her skin left without his kiss. Five was whipped beyond saving whenever the door closes, but even with such intense affection, neither of them dared to pop the question.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks, staring deep into his eyes.

“I’m thinking whatever you’re thinking about.”

She bites her lower lip, climbing on top of him. She pulls him for a proper kiss, clinging her arms around his neck as he rests his hands on her hips.

“Tell me something I’ll forget,” She whispers, kissing the corner of his lips “Something you might have to tell me again.”

Five hesitated. The words were hanging by the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill in any second. Her gentle touch was melting his walls, breaking each and every fortress he’s built over the years. For someone who thought that he’s seen all the things in life, Five was once again caught by surprise.

“How bout I show you instead?” He offers, swapping their positions that she’s now laying on her back with him on top of her.

One of his hands travels to cup her cheek, deepening their kiss as he changes their course of action. Five could feel her smiling through the kiss, giving him the courage to continue his venture. His thumb brushes the skin of her cheek gently. Years of being a cold blooded spy had made him think that there’s no tenderness left in his soul. A broken shell of a man is all he is. Yet, he was once again proven wrong by her. Always her, only her.

It’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend.

—-

“Tell me about your past lovers.”

His grip on her hand loosen a little, brows rising from the unexpected request. It was fortunate of him to have her back leaning on his chest. This way she wouldn’t have heard the slight spike of his heart nor seen the surprise he had in his face. How he blinked and furrowed his brows as his brain tried to digest her words.

He lets go of her hand and rests his arm around her shoulder, silently caging her in an embrace in case the words he utters would make her flee, “Lover. There was only one woman.”

“What’s her name?”

“Dolores,” He sighs, the rare forlorn look in his eyes were potent “Her name was Dolores.”

“What happened between you and Dolores?”

There was a brief pause. His chest hitches as he struggles to find the words, “I.. Left her.”

“Why?”

“I had to.”

“Is that what you’re going to do to me too?” She questions. The fragility of her voice made him wince. Voicing her words barely above a whisper.

“I might,” He confesses with a heavy heart, swallowing a lump in his throat “Will you hate me then?”

She turns her head to face him, nodding like it was a promise, “I will.”

She wanted to ask more. To know deeper about what happened between him and Dolores. If their separation was recent or if he ever tried to come back to her. She wanted to know what made him leave. If there was a bigger story to tell, a bigger secret to share. She wanted to know if he loved her, if he would use his hands to trace the invisible stars on her skin and mark it with his kisses, if he would tell her the word she’s been dying to hear from him. She wanted to know it all.

And Five wanted to tell. He wanted to tell her about the fights and all the running he’s done for the past years. He wanted to tell her how Dolores was the only thing keeping him sane after being trapped in the post-apocalyptic wasteland for forty-five years. He wanted to tell her how tired he is, how he misses his powers and secretly hoped that he never got out of that hotel alive. He wanted to tell it all.

But both of their words die in their tongues. Crestfallen from all the silence that they’re bound to be stuck in. Their eyes tried their best to convey the message their lips couldn’t utter, hoping that the invisible string between them was strong enough to connect their hearts better than words ever could.

Her fingers gently tucked the stubborn strand of hair off of his face. She studies him, trying to see any trace of deceit or vice, but all she could see was the love bleeding out of him like a muck. His eyes were warm, radiating with that one sentiment she’s never seen on anyone else.

She cups both of his cheeks, softly kissing his lips, “I wish you’d let me in.”

Five shakes his head, “I’d never put you in such danger.”

“I can take care of myself,” She argues, an impressed smile decorating her face “Have you forgotten? We’re literally CIA agents.”

He smiles, pulling her head to his chest.

They would never admit it but tender moments like this scares the living out of the both of them. It felt too real, too personal to what they signed up for, but they would rather lose a limb than to miss it. For some reason such delicateness felt like it would dissipate in a moment. Like a bitter farewell was looming behind, ready to catch them off guard and without a fight.

And so they keep quiet. Letting the frail second to fall gracefully like the first drop of snow. His fingers entangle themselves with her hair while she listens carefully to the steady rise and fall of his chest. They make notes of one another, recording each and every little thing the other does before their time turns into bittersweet memory.

—-

Five hesitated. He taps on the payphone with uncertainty, doubting if he should dial her number and ask for the favour. He promised himself that he would not let her come near his family madness, but the marigold was melting his blood vessels and none of his siblings look like they’re ready for a real fight. Whatever this dry cleaner’s daughter kidnapping was about has certainly gone a notch more serious than it ever was.

He weighs his options. The only thing he could make out of her were the pleasant times they’ve spent. The laughter and the stolen glances they would exchange when nobody was around. The sun has always shone on top of them, no rain nor shade to ever taint their story. It feels as if they’ve been living in a fairytale despite all the secrecy he hides from her.

But Ben’s tails were stubborn and Lila’s laser eyesight was not boosting his confidence enough to follow through with this rescue mission. His family might have gotten their powers back, but it was an overstatement to say that the team was officially back on. Their bodies were still trying to readjust themselves with the liquid gold, whatever it might mean now.

The bitterness in his tongue sets thicker as his decision comes to a final. For some reason believing that calling her would compromise the charming affair they have. Not from the squabbles his family might show, but from other perils he couldn’t foresee.

“Hello?” She answers right on the second ring “Who is this?”

Five’s words were caught in his throat, unable to continue his action.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” He finally says. 

“Five? Is everything okay?” She questions, worry evident in her tone as she proceeds to speak in whisper “I know we promised not to talk during work hours, but I heard that you’re taking a sick leave and now you’re calling and I just— I’m worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” He answers, his tone heavy with regret “I’m fine. I’m just— Look, there’s something I need to tell you,” There was a pause, clearly still debating if he should end the call and just face whatever’s to come alone with his family.

“Five? Are you there?”

He nods, his voice strained with anxiety, “Yeah, I just— I’m going to Maine. There’s something I need to do there with my family.”

“Oh, okay. Will you be back soon?”

“No, I.. I don’t know,” He answers in surrender “Listen, I know I’m asking too much of you but.. Could you meet me there? In New Grumpson?”

A few seconds of silence, her confusion thick in her voice, “You.. Want me to come to your family gathering?”

“Well, it’s not really a gathering,” Five struggles to explain, running a hand through his hair “It’s more of a.. Rescue mission? I can’t explain the details through the phone, there isn’t enough time.”

“I can’t just drop things off and drive to Maine, Five. I’m in the middle of a case,” She reasoned.

“I know, but I need you to come. I need you to help me,” He begs, his heart beating fast inside of his chest as if it could already see the disaster this phone call would bring “I promise to tell you everything. I’ll explain everything—about my family, about myself, about Dolores, about us. I’ll tell you everything. I just— I need to do it in person. Please.. Please come and meet me there.”

There was still silence from the other side of the phone.

“I promise to let you in,” He continues, his voice faltering in despair “I’ll tell you what you want to hear. What I needed to tell you a long time ago.”

Silence hung heavy in the air. Beads of sweat were breaking in the back of his neck, afraid that he’s just lost everything before it even started. There was no going back now. Not even with the power that he’s just gotten back.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, fuck it,” She answers, having zero sense of hesitation left in her voice “But you better tell me right after I get there.”

“I will, I promise.” Five bites his grin, taking a deep breath of relief before he finally says the magic words “I love you. And I promise to say it again when we meet.”

—-

She has to admit, driving countless hours down to New Grumpson with little to no context, might not have been one of her brightest moments. She should’ve asked more about the plan, where to meet and what time, before hanging up and picking her car keys. God knows how she would meet Five now. Who’s to tell just how big this town is or if he’s even in the city yet. She was blind. Completely lost in a random town thousands of miles from home.

Between finding some covers for the windows that Victor broke and frequent bathroom breaks, the Hargreeves siblings could only reach their destination when the sun was already at its peak. Not to mention the bickering that they have to resolve every other ten minutes. The eight of them are certainly behind schedule but without any means of communication, there was no way for her to know his whereabouts.

Now sitting in a diner, she wonders just how long she should wait before leaving this town. There’s something eerie about this place. The people were kind, sure, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was being watched. Like these people were not just civilians but someone placed to fill certain roles to make up the city folks.

She watches as a man enters the diner. He was kicked out the first time by the diner’s owner, but supposed the kind lady could see that this stranger was in need of a shelter. He looks like a tourist, too. A little lost and too peaky to be a local.

And that’s when she heard it, the first gunshot outside. She reaches for her own gun, hiding it under the table as she tries to assess her surroundings. The people in the diner now corner the strange man and the diner lady, commanding the woman to come with them with their guns pointed out.

Good God, what is this place? She thought as she cocks her gun.

Just as the two people ran out through the back door, another shot was fired and it was enough reason for her to take the small mob down from behind. Whatever their reasoning is, the people of this town are certainly not the friendliest to tourists.

She runs outside, trying to help the other three people that were being gunned down by a bunch of the town folks. She watches as the biggest man shields the other two. An act that shouldn’t be logically possible.

She tries to help out, shooting the crazy goon with her own gun. It was a no match with the numbers of these lunatics and their AKs compared to her handgun, but it was enough to give a window for the three people to run further away.

One down, another ten appears. The people in this town just so happen to be complete terrorists who shoot on weaponless people, she reckons.

Out of the blue, Five blinks to the road and joins in the shield of the big man. It took her a couple of seconds to believe the sight she just saw— Five appearing out of thin air and hiding under the protection of the big guy who’s bearing all the gunshots fired at them. None of this was making any sense. Not the city, not the people, not the events she’s witnessing. But she didn’t have time for questions, not yet. Her finger pulls on the trigger nonstop, refilling her magazine as soon as she can before more madmen come.

But her hands weren’t fast enough. There was not enough time for her to raise her gun. To point and pull another shot before a couple bullets were aimed at her chest. She was hit. Too many times for her to count as she fell limp to the cold concrete, gasping for air.

“No!” She could hear Five’s echoing scream. In a blink of an eye, he was kneeling by her, lifting her body to be in his embrace. His hand was shaky, trying his best to give some pressure to the holes in her chest as his other arm pulled her close, “I’m here, I’m here.”

No words came out of her lips. Breathing hurts as blood starts to come out of her mouth. Colour was draining from her face, skin turning cold as her ear rings.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Five apologises, his tears flowing down to her face “This wasn’t supposed to happen, I’m sorry.”

“S-Say it,” She whispers, gasping “You promised.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” He confesses, cupping her cheek with his bloodied hand “I’m sorry. I love you. I love you so much, I’m so sorry.”

The light in her eyes slowly dims out. Her laboured breathing quiets down as the interval widens before it eventually stops. Her hand that was holding his wrist fell gently, no longer having any care that the shreds of mirror were creating new cuts to it.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry.”

Those three sentences were flowing out of him like a broken record. Five holds her close, planting tear stained kisses to her cheeks as if it would give her another breath of life. He calls for her name like a prayer, begging for her to look at him just once more, but the magnetism that would always fill those orbs were gone. They were staring into the empty space without a blink. Gone were the eyes that would stare into him with so much love and tenderness.

Five looks up to see his siblings. They were looking down with pitiful, sorry eyes. Never had they ever seen the collected brother be this broken, drowning in the anguish of a lost lover.

“It was Dad,” Luther says bearing the bad news “They were all Hargreeves goons.”

Another tear escaped his eyes. Five’s sobs were getting louder, whispering his apologies to her now deaf ears. He was sorry about everything. About asking her to come, about promising to tell her some complete nonsense, about falling in love with her. Even with his powers, Five was utterly helpless. He couldn’t undo what was done— save the life that he’s lost and keep her away from harm. The one thing that matters most to him has finally been ripped off of his hands.

There was a sense of resentment brewing in his heart. He thought that he could not be any more hollow than he already is, but now that she’s dead in his arms, now that the better half of him has disappeared, Five has ultimately become that one broken shell of a man he once thought he was.

If only she was his little girl, he would’ve run away and hide with her.

[sofoulandfairaday]

Please share all of your Sirius and Bellatrix thoughts ♥️

I have way too many, darling.

The TLDR is it is our choices that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities. The long version is under the cut.

When reading about them I usually prefer stories where their original 8-9 year gap is preserved (it annoys me to no end when people write the Order and the Death Eaters as entirely made up of people in the same couple of years in Hogwarts —really? Was the conflict exclusively waged by child soldiers? Were Dumbledore and Voldemort just chilling before 1977, when they decided to start recruiting?). With that being said, I can also enjoy fics where - for shipping purposes - their ages are more compatible, to make them share time in Hogwarts or during the First Wizarding War.

I think they are very, very alike personality-wise. The narrative draws some delicious writing parallels between them, both physically and in their expressions, vices and virtues, and choices. Directly between them, might I add. The author underlines the difference between Bella and Narcissa more than once, we're meant to see it, and similarly we're meant to see the similarities between Bella & Sirius.

They are haughty, passionate, powerful, competent, arrogant, bright, much more intelligent than the fandom thinks they are. In general, they suffer from the stigmatization that many characters - but some people in real life do too - that someone who is intense and impulsive cannot possibly be as intelligent as people who are meek, soft-spoken, generally more controlled. Think what the fandom does to Sirius vs Remus and Bella vs her sisters, when every arrow points to the fact that they are actually the cleverest in these pairings.

They are both some shade of mentally ill, and not because of the curse of the Blacks - half the Blacks went mad didn't they? What's the saying? Every time a Black is born the gods flip a coin. god the Targaryen-Black parallels are gold - Sirius is very likely horribly depressed in OOTP, something no one around him seems to understand, infuriatingly. The only one that seems to get it is Harry, who has the literal Dark Lord living in his brain (= bigger problems to deal with). Bella is... I don't know what she is, ask me after my psychiatry module next year, but my money is on PTSD after Azkaban - after all, she didn't have the escape of an Animagus form behind bars. She would also very likely be victim-blamed for these different feelings, which would lend itself to a delicious nobody else in the world understands us but us type of post-Azkaban dark!fic which I would love to read.

They are both skilled at magic, and while they might despise each other for their respective political views, they respect each other because of this. Bella is probably above him in terms of magical power and skill, because she's 9 years older and because of Voldemort's training, but Sirius seemed to be keeping up quite well with her during their fight in the DoM.

Speaking of which, I am sure that Bellatrix's scream of triumph was due to her winning their duel, not because she thought she had killed him and that is probably the single thing I love the most about HBC's interpretation of her in the movies. That look. 10/10.

I am of the opinion that Bella is all bark and no bite when it comes to certain members of her family, especially her sisters. Sure, she might say that she wants to prune her family tree but 30 years later in the beginning of DH, she still calls Andromeda sister. I'm sure she would want nothing more than to put him under lock and key for the rest of his life and never let him escape, not kill him. And, to me, the way Sirius speaks of his family is very interesting. I'm sure he firmly believes that he hates them, but his actual feelings are more complex than that. You can hate someone and still desire their love, their respect. You can hate that they are the only people in the world who understand you - and hate yourself more in turn, for it.

Sirius seems to me like someone haunted by his own darkness. He, much like Harry, would be constantly worried that he's becoming like them. I'm sure it's a weak spot for him and I wish we had heard more bickering, or at least a full interaction between Bella and Sirius (I feel like she would claim him as hers, underline how much he cannot escape his own blood, even just to mock him/unsettle him in battle). But what Dumbledore says to Harry is true: it doesn't matter how alike they are, it's their choices that matter much more. And I feel like this is why the two of them would never reconcile in canon. They stand for different things.

I also think there might be some - and I know Freud is controversial nowadays, but bear with me - penis envy, on her part. Because Sirius was born the heir - something she would have given her left hand to be: to be born and die a Black instead of being expected to marry into another family - and he squandered it all away by consorting with werewolves and mudbloods. But no. He got everything and pissed on it, and it's just not fair. And by choosing not to come back, even in the two years after Regulus' death, he made sure that the Black Family name will die with him- and I think that is just something she can never ever forgive him.

Now. Everybody knows I don't like TCC and my preferred view of Bella is someone with fertility issues, even to the point of being sterile.

[I read an amazing fanfic once and a line from it stuck in my brain - "If I can't be life, then I'll be death"]

But. If we do see it as canon. This is also the reason why - despite being overjoyed at Delphi's birth - I am convinced that she wished for a boy when she was pregnant. If she had a boy with the Dark Lord, who couldn't possibly give them his name, the House of Black would have an heir. This is also the reason why I don't thing she was necessarily opposed to having children with Rodolphus - the "spare" would have been her heir.

Bellatrix would say that Regulus was her favourite cousin, but truth be told, it was really Sirius whom she respected more - at her core, in my opinion, Bellatrix is really only someone who respects power. Sirius is like her that way.

But Bellatrix is clearly a cruel person, which Sirius is not (or at least, he tries not to be: Kreacher and Snape are two very particular cases of people who are mean to him back). Also, Sirius' view of the world is much more egalitarian - If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Bellatrix is clearly someone who sees the world in terms of hierarchies, and lives within them (see: how she acts around Voldemort and what is implied of her treatment of house-elves who obey their masters: there is a scale and some serve others, and as long as they do so well they have certain rights; disobey, you get punished).

(Bellatrix is somewhat a feminist character but let's be real- she's not a revolutionary. She went to the Dark Lord and showed him just how powerful she was - aka my wand is bigger than all these male DEs' - and he said "okay, fair, I'll give you the Mark", thereby freeing herself. She is not a "equal representation for women inside terrorist organizations!!" type of girlie)

I also love how her death parallels Sirius'. It's thematically beautiful and it excuses her death coming at the hands of one Molly Weasley (who could never ever in a million years have beaten her on skill alone). She dies because she is arrogant. It's one of her traits. Overconfidence. She was always meant to die like that.

[coincidentally one of the reasons why she would not be a hufflepuff like some suggest: this woman is not humble]

I could go on, but I think I've rambled enough.

P.S. Let's not sleep on the fact that the two of them together would be hot.

[gffa]

I know you’ve said before that you view prequels!Anakin and clone wars!Anakin as separate characters, so I’m curious what your thoughts are on Ahsoka series!Anakin are? (This ask was sent by someone who has not watched any of the Ahsoka series, so if he hasn’t shown up enough for you to form an opinion feel free to save this for later)

Hm, I don't recall having said I saw prequels!Anakin and clone wars!Anakin as separate characters befoe, you might be thinking of someone else, or maybe you meant that I have struggled with reconciling the different properties with each other--though ultimately I usually manage to do so fairly well, as I do consider them the same character and each part of the bigger whole. The Ahsoka series!Anakin is hard to figure out how to blend in there, because I go back and forth on whether or not it really was Anakin or not, if it was a Force vision or Ahsoka projecting or truly Anakin himself, because each idea has such interesting and deliciously heartwrenching implications. But for the sake of this post specifically, let's say it's truly Anakin in the series--he fits perfectly well with how I see the character, even after his death, because the whole point of him showing up is that he was there for Ahsoka and her issues. This version of him isn't really about Anakin's story, it's about Ahsoka's story, and right then she needed him to represent both Anakin and Vader to her, to force her to confront her fears about what he became, her loss and fear that she could be responsible for more darkness in the galaxy, and her hurt that she wasn't sure she had anything to offer other than being a soldier. In the episode, Anakin says that she's more than just being a soldier, she's more than a legacy of death and war, because he's more than that. If this is truly Anakin, I love that for him, because being a Force Ghost is about truly letting go of all the shit you're holding onto in life, that you find balance within yourself again, that just by dint of how the Force and Force Ghosts work, Anakin has to have come to peace within himself about how he was more than just Vader, he was more than just death and destruction. He may wear his ROTS era clothing because that's what Ahsoka needed from him, he may not be glowing blue because this is in her mind not in the real world, he may be flickering back and forth with Vader because she needed that from him, but I have no problem seeing this version of Anakin as the same as this one:

Because the most selfless thing Anakin could do for Ahsoka was show up and help her confront her fears and deal with her issues. The most selfless thing he could say to her was: you're more than just this because, if I can be more than the monstrous things I did, you can be more than the mistakes you've made that are far less, because that's what she needed to hear. The most selfless thing he could do was dig into his own horrible past and say, yes, this happened, it's part of me and thus part of you, but you can heal from this, because I know you loved me and you weren't wrong to do so, you're not wrong to love someone even though they did so much wrong. She comes out of her vision with a new peace beginning to settle inside her and, given how much Anakin worked to drag himself out of the dark and let his attachments go, let his fears go, and embrace compassion for others again--it's a beautiful continuation of everything with Luke, with being willing to embrace compassion for the children who come after you, the ones you're meant to protect and teach and guide. Maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe there was still some sadness in him or fear of how she saw him, some crankiness that she wasn't learning the lessons he was trying to each, but ultimately I see him as being there entirely for her, not for his own closure, but for hers, because she needed him, so he was there for her.

[vigilskeep]

do you ever get the impression that cassandra had a bigger role in the game(s) but due to retcons and a cut dlc she was reduced to a seeker who likes romance novels? she showed up in kirkwall with a number of subordinates, clearly had authority and was someone important, but in inquisition she is just a companion who is also "right hand of the divine," whatever that means. i really feel like she was intended to be a more major character, probably an antagonist, but isn't.

i don’t think cassandra was ever intended to be an antagonist, except in the way she performs that role at the start of the framing device in da2. we’re supposed to identify with cassandra in da2 as she is slowly won over by the romance of hawke’s story. that’s not a character we’re intended to fear later. she also shows up at the end with beloved good-aligned companion leliana, which despite leliana’s behaviour during seb’s personal quest, would still feel like a baffling choice for an antagonist setup. the interrogation ends with both varric and cassandra wishing each other the maker’s protection during these grim times. we’re meant to feel like there’s a real problem cass is trying to deal with and needs help for

you’re right that the cut exalted march dlc is worth mentioning. it’s hard to say how which way that would have turned the narrative, but it seems hard to believe we’d end up with the divine’s death and the ensuing inquisition portrayed as they are now. cass wasn’t already canonised as a hand of the divine back then, was she? i don’t know if she would have been involved, especially as da2 specifically sets her up for the inquisition

but i think there’s a much simpler way to explain cassandra’s diminished character in dai: she suffers under the curse of the Gaider Woman

david gaider’s dao prequel novel, the stolen throne, introduces us to the textbook Gaider Woman. this is rowan guerrin, maric’s warrior fiancée, who you won’t remember from dao because after having cailan, she died of Dead Mother Disease. it’s a tough life out there in fiction. anyway, rowan is a warrior fighting for her country’s freedom, who immediately gets pulled into an absurd love square, struggles with her feminine side including putting on a dress to try to win her man over, and at the end of the novel, coming to the conclusion that her purpose is to provide a soft comfort to her king when the world becomes too much: “perhaps this was what queens did. perhaps they held their kings in the darkness, deep within their castles and allowed them that moment of weakness they could never show to anyone else. perhaps they gave strength to their kings, because everyone else only took it from them.” (she arrives at this directly after he murders his other girlfriend and she has to comfort him about it. yes, that’s as insane as it sounds. don’t read the stolen throne.)

anyway, the author of this book is the man who wrote cassandra, a fact which i guessed before i even looked it up. why is her violence never taken seriously as a threat or problem? why must she have a softer, more feminine side? why must the narrative constantly congratulate itself for giving you a Strong Woman? because the way cassandra is written is simply how david gaider feels about women. she’s a cookie cutter example of how he writes them, rowan’s far from the only other one

i think plain old misogyny is far closer at hand than retcons in creating the cassandra we ended up with. and also the changes in how dragon age wants to deal with the chantry, which is separated from the templars and not a credible threat in itself but a handful of bickering old women who cannot do anything effectively (You’ll Never Guess What Gender It’s Run By And What Gender The Templars Are)

[alittlextrathatway]

Honestly any lyric from Universe can fit brettsey but I think I’ll go with “You make me believe in something bigger than just me”

You can choose the location! Please tag me when you’re done! I think this is so cool!

And back to canon we go with this one lol.

Let's see what location shall I pick?

How about...

on the street.

***

He leaves again tomorrow, but not forever this time.

He'll be back and forth for the next few months as Ben finishes school and makes the transition to college. After that, he'll be back in Chicago full time to build the life with Sylvie he's been dreaming about for years.

Tonight, they're headed to Molly's to announce their engagement and say his goodbyes. But before they head in, he has more he's been wanting to say to Sylvie.

He tugs on her hand and squeezes her fingers. As she turns to look at him he nods toward the small alley next to the bar. She follows him with a concerned expression on her far too beautiful face. He takes in every inch of it, from the wrinkle between her eye brows to the downturned corners of her mouth.

He presses her against the wall, caging her in with his hands on her hips and then smiles at her, hoping to soothe her concern.

"Before we go in there and I have to share you for the rest of the night," he begins, pressing a swift kiss to her lips. "I wanted to talk a bit."

The tension melts out of her body and she leans her weight against the wall, bringing her hands and arms up to rest on his shoulders. "Well, you know I love it when you decide to use your words. It usually works out pretty well for us," she teases.

He chuckles and sends her a mock glare. "Noted."

"What topic did you have in mind this time?" She asks, smiling brighter despite his narrowed eyes.

"I know long distance isn't what either of us wants," he says, diving right in. If he's learned anything form almost losing Sylvie it's that it's better to be up front than dance around the big issues. "So, before we jump back into that for the next few months I just want to make sure you know that it's going to be different this time. I'm going to be different. I want to make more intentional choices about how I spend my time, especially my time with you."

"Matt..."

He can tell she's about to let him off the hook for all the times he cancelled on her and didn't return her willingness to travel for the sake of their relationship so he cuts her off. "Don't say I don't need to, Sylvie, we both know that's not true."

She rolls her lips and sighs but nods, conceding his point. "Okay."

"I let our relationship slip on my priorities list and, yes, the boys are important but they shouldn't be more important than you. You and them, and now Julia too, should all be on equal footing. Until I'm back here with you permanently I'm going to make sure that's the case. Losing you again isn't an option."

"You won't," Sylvie promises. "This time if I start to feel like we're fading away then I'll tell you. I won't hold it in and try to deal with it on my own. You weren't the only problem, Matt. I failed us too. But we made it though it, we're here together now, and that's what's important. And this time, everything seems to be leading to us ending up closer together -- not further apart."

"Our stars are aligning you mean?" He asks, an affectionate grin tugging at his lips.

She sighs again, this time she sounds relieved and content, as if she's finally comfortable. Finally, in his arms again like she was always meant to be. "Yes, our stars are finally lining up."

"I never really believed in that kind of thing before you," he admits.

"What kind of thing?"

"Meant to be, fate, kismet. Whatever you wanna call it. The big picture or grand design. I just thought we search out our people and we commit to being good to them. You make the best of where you are and the people you're with. And that's it."

"And I changed your mind?" Sylvie asks.

He rests his forehead against hers while he nods. His eyes mist over as they always do when he stops to think about the gravity of his feelings for Sylvie Brett. "You changed everything. The way you love me and the boys, the way you just knew Julia was made to be yours, the timing of all of it with Ben going off to college. You're the one that brings the pieces together for me. You help me see the design amidst all the chaos. If that makes any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," she agrees, tightening her hold on him and pulling him closer. "To me anyway."

Of course it does because she understands him in a way no one else every has before. "I love you."

"I love you too."

And now he gets to spend the rest of his life reminding her of that as often as possible.

[demontouched]

i'm slowly catching up on the mcu....

(thoughts and opinions of someone who is not, and probably will never be, a comic enthusiast, a film major, or cgi specialist below the cut.)

so. i have heard and read nothing but votriol for just about everything after end game. maybe it was the classic fandom progression where everything gets turned into a cesspool (either the fandom survives and becomes good again, or everything implodes and only incels and tarpits remain). i don't really know because i left fandom spaces for like 3 years, but that's a whole different story.

i dropped off after end game, i'm just barely catching up, so i don't know how a lot of everything else turned out. i've liked the multiverse movies i've seen so far (shang-chi, eternals, multiverse of madness, quantumania). they're not masterpieces, but they're good movies. (please remember that this is my opinion and i'm not an expert on anything except myself. the block button and i are best friends.)

despite starting the movie several times, i can never seem to finish wakanda forever. it just feels... sad. without chadwick boseman. don't get me wrong, the movie is interesting, and i love shuri and wakanda. it just doesn't feel right that chadwick isn't there. call it parasocial or whatever, but idk. when black panther first came out, it was compelling. i fell in love with the story of the mcu all over again, and this character specifically. call it parasocial or whatever. idk. i just can't finish the movie.

i really liked shang-chi, i thought it was an interesting movie and it was very pretty in the special effects/cgi department. i liked the story, and while i wasn't completely blown away by the lovie, i did enjoy it a lot. probably my current favorite of the post endgame movies.

eternals was... well, i didn't much care for it either way. it felt strange and lonely, but i think any movie would feel strange and lonely if it happens in a preexisting universe, and is effecting the whole globe, and yet only a certain set of super powered people show up to help.

multiverse of madness was interesting to me. we got to see two preestablished characters who have never interacted collide in a way that doesnt really happen in marvel movies. it wasn't a crossover of any sort (not like venom in no way home or deadpool's fourth wall references) but it was cool. i haven't seen wandavision (i'm television adversed for the most part, honestly. watching movies is like pulling teeth for me, and focusing on a tv show is worse. to me, the tv is for background noise so i don't go insane.) so i'm missing pieces of background for that, i'm sure. something something wanda wanted kids and so she'd destroy the world to have that or whatever. (i'll watch wandavision eventually) i sympathize with craving a life ripped away from you by circumstances out of your control, and i found myself in tears at that one scene, when the kids are terrified of her.

quantumania was a whole other thing. they're setting up the big bad of the arc. like they did with phase one. those little touches of thanos in the end credits, ths machinations of a monster much bigger than them. this is just a step up, a mulitversal problem rather than an in universe one. they did (*imo*) a great job taking this step through by including the slow build to it. the hints of the quantum in phase one movies has lended itself greatly to the build up of this phase.

quantunmania itself was mid. i didn't hate it, i didn't love it. it was interesting to see the probability storm. i think it says great deal about scott as a person that even when he is split into hundreds of millions of versions of himself, his focus will always be cassie. that's a dad if i've ever seen one. it was also an interesting read of hope, as well, that she came all together to help scott and even though the scotts all helped og scott, they only came together when hope arrived. (the metaphor was like a bright red circle in a youtube thumb nail.) also, i loved the ant mimicry in thay scene. and the ants! the ants were probably my favorite part.

end game was a unique film, with countless hours of work from a HUGE cast and crew put into it. blood, sweat, and tears went into that movie. it's a cgi wet dream. it tied up loose end after loose end, sweeping the plot bunnies together in a neat 3 hour long package. i could wax poetically about end game for 3 hours at least. anway. the point of all this is that these movies are fine. they're not end game levels, but i don't think anything will ever live up to end game. maybe i'm wrong, we shall see. maybe i'm stuck in the past. maybe i'm missing a humongous chunk of context bc i haven't been keeping up with the news surrounding marvel. idk. i'm gonna keep enjoying what i enjoy, and despite it's flaws, i do enjoy marvel.

[mewlabu]

Here to add that the Soviet Union created massive environmental damage and resource exploitation. The idea that it would some how be gentler on the climate when they were wiping out forests and forcing industrial farming and dumping unrestrained waste into water ways is another way so many in the west just don't know shit about the USSR and the shit show it was.

Fine, dream of your socialist utopia if you need to, I mean we need to imagine something other than what we're doing, but for the love of all and the planet stop getting hard to any mention of the USSR. It was bad and it was broken and should never ever be a model for anything meant as an improvement on the present situation.

The shortage aren't even the bad part. You can deal with limited consumer options and lack of useless junk. The problem is that even talking about the shortages where someone could over hear you could land you in an interrogation room.

My mom talked to an American once who came to an art exhibition when the USSR was still a thing, he asked to buy her husband's illustration.

That night KGB were at her fucking door. They questioned her all night and for years after every letter they sent was screened and read and they'd pull them in anytime they thought there was something even remotely sus about it.

One time she and her friends were coming back from the beach and a cop stopped them and arrested them because the guys hadn't tucked their shirts in and looked too "American"

This is the shit people don't realize or think is easy to just get over because you never think it'll be that bad or that it will get you or yours. And don't realize the math of it. If a million cuts and restrictions that seems minor but are used to beat you down and beat any hope and imagination out of you.

And this is only as bad as it got because my grandmother, her mother, was well respected and high ranking in the military administration.

Didn't help though when Chernobyl blew and the state didn't tell anyone outside the area for days anything had happened, including my grandmother.

Too many younger western leftists don't understand that basic needs met only gets you so far. They imagine a world where housing is affordable and they can still be who they are and live their lives and that would be amazing but that is NOT what the USSR was.

Think bigger. Think new.

It's cute to joke about collaborating, while conveniently forgetting that collaborators were some of the first to end up vanished, in gulags or dead.

That my grandmother's generation lived in a psychological duality where things were known and everyone lived as if they weren't known and you didn't know which of your neighbours could report something that will get you disappeared without as much as a chance to defend yourself. I know this because my grandmother was that neighbour and the lives she ruined haunted her into her late life.

That after those repressions subsided, everyone had to go back to pretending their family members didn't disappear without a trace and that it wasn't their own friends, family or neighbours who caused it. You don't think it's a big deal, but the absence of closure, or acknowledgement of constantly living in anxiety while also pretending everything is fine, not knowing who or what to trust, never seeing anyone punished, impacts generations.

And that's for people who were lucky enough not to be part of larger groups targetted for displacement, removal, or reeducation or painted as a threat purely based on faith, language, skin, sexuality.

For them it was far far more violent, painful and unforgiving and never, not once, has anyone had to answer for what happened.

And when those of us who lived under this try to mark these losses, try to grieve this pain, to tear down the monuments and symbols of those nightmares, some western leftists or tankies think they get to make jokes, reclaim symbols they didn't suffer under, and make jokes about collaborators and how all the loss of life and all the suffering only happened to those who deserves it and have the audacity to joke about doing the same, oblivious to the freedom they have to even make these jokes, without fear of a knock on their door, and then get upset when we try to correct them.

They conveniently forget, also, that high ranking party members lived like kings, untouched by scarcity. That class didn't go anywhere, it just became illegal to talk about it still being alive and well. That people still experienced poverty, hunger, isolation. That power and the hunger for it, and social conservatism, and demands for homogeneity and conformity were rife among those in charge at every level.

So yeah. None of the problems we are facing now were or would be solved by the USSR or it's magical return. Not one. Not a single thing would be better now. We'd all just be very good at pretending it was to survive the way it very much wouldn't be.

People love to go “ in the Soviet Union they picked your job for you 😭” yeah cunt that’s what we’re doin now too except they make you bark like a dog for three weeks straight first getting denied everywhere you wanna work until you end up somewhere you dont like anyway. Let’s just cut out that middle man why don’t we

[thewritermuses]

Sound of Metal

Sound Of Metal - Darius Marder

This is part of my unedited thoughts series 9/10 At the heart of it, this is a simple story. A musician loses hearing, and this is the story of him coming to terms with that and his struggle to regain it. The sheer terror that this must cause him is something else. You really feel for his steps and the desire to do anything to solve the problem. The counter to this is there is no problem to solve. This is the argument put to him by the deaf community that he becomes part of. We are brought in and out of his world through the brilliant use of audio design. This is only used at key moments and is fantastic. We get to hear what he is hearing, or the approximation of it. If this was used more it would be unbearable. Another standout of this film is the casual way the story is told.

What I mean by that is what they choose not to tell us. They are not concerned with explaining all the details of the character's world. We only learn what's important, and even then only in broad strokes. It's very Hemingway-esk in this regard. It's very strong and more powerful because of it.

The establishment of Rueben and his relationship with his girlfriend, Lou. He is a caring partner and she is troubled and needs his love. This is flipped when he loses his hearing. She is there for him but this is much bigger than anything she, or he could solve. He gets unbelievably mad at her as she leaves him because he won't join the deaf community. In leaving him she forces him to join them - and begin to navigate a path out of where he is. I don't think he is actually mad at her. But he is mad at the situation and terrified. The way we see the loss playing out for him is spectacular. We go through the loss of hearing with him. He hear what he is hearing and can see the anguish as he tries to continue playing music after he has been told not to as it could mean he looses all the hearing he has left.

Rueben is focused on solving the problem of being deaf. When he joins the deaf community and they are focused on addressing the mental issues around the hearing loss and not the loss itself it is a real shock to him.

But he begins to deal with these issues as he joins the group and learns to sign. Some great relationships begin to form. But then he sees Lou on the web and is drawn out of this world and wants to get his hearing back again. This ends up costing him his place in the deaf community because of the disruption his trying to cure deafness will cause. He ends up going through with the surgery and it is average at best. He thought that it would return him to perfect hearing but it is far from it. He can't deal with crowds and the final scenes of him listening to Lou singing with her dad is heartbreaking. He cannot hear a thing really and this was his life with her. This is a brilliant piece of filmmaking but I found it too sad to give it 10. It ends with acceptance but no hope. Rueben has lost everything and appears to accept his state at the end but it does feel hopeless for him. Read the full article

[azuisreading]

What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black

Alejandra Ruiz is a young witch plagued by the disappearance of her best friend, Violet. In a desperate bid for clues, she strikes a dark deal with the enigmatic Knowing One—the Prince of Lies and Shadows. But the power she needs to uncover the truth about Violet's disappearance comes at a staggering the heart of the next person who falls in love with her. As Alejandra delves deeper into Violet's case, the mystery takes an ominous turn, revealing a truth far more dangerous than she believed. With no choice but to make an ally of an enemy, she finds herself caught in a dangerous dance with the Knowing One, their attraction a sinister force of its own. Alejandra must navigate treacherous alliances, deadly betrayals, and sacrifices that blur the line between salvation and damnation. And as she uncovers the depths of her new power, her destiny intertwines with the fate of the Knowing One’s realm. Enter a world of forbidden desires and heart-wrenching choices in this gothic romance that will enthrall readers until the final, haunting page.

Review

Thanks to BookSirens I was able to be part of L.B. Black’s ARC team and, uh, I may or may not be hooked on this series for the rest of my life (I’m writing this review mostly due to that).

You know, when there’s some kind of eternal love, I become a sucker. There’s something about being immortal and continuing to love the same person over centuries and millennia, and also about reincarnation and finding (searching for it or not) and loving the same soul in the previous lives, the current one, and all that will come after. I just… I just can’t, alright? It just got me. Every time. So… it’s not a wonder I fell so hard for Nicolas.

It’s not only about that (but it does have more than a bit of spice, just a warning there). If you like things bigger than ourselves, you can jump right in. And we never know what the universe has stored for us until you light a black candle, but make sure you know what you’re bargaining for, the Knowing One doesn’t have that title just for show.

I have this idea about angels and demons and… creatures, that this book makes me see differently. I never thought of the ones in here like angels and demons, they were everything but, but… you will see! The problems escalate quickly and the risk just grows and grows, disproportionately, and there isn’t any other way to get things right than by playing. But, you know, right? You can never win if you don’t bet, though you can also lose everything if you do. What’s life if not a constant bet, huh? Just saying!

Before I go down my own rabbit hole with that philosophical thought, there’s something I really didn’t like, and that was the cliffhanger at the end! UGH, I need the second book so BADLY! I need to read more about Nicolas, he’s the kind of… creature who pushes me to try my luck in love and sparks my usually quiet desire to fall in love, but he’s one of his kind and is taken! I respect her, I do. Oh! And the friendship! Of another level. So, yeah, I do need to know what happens next.

Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading

«“I thought we weren’t talking about them, witchling.” “Stop calling me that, would you?” “My apologies. I’ve never believed ignorance was bliss. Even so, you may not like the answer.”» �� 2.

«“How did you choose?” she said quietly. “How did you choose which of my family to take?” “You’re asking questions I don’ think you’ll like the answer to.” “I want to know. How did you choose?” The question she really wanted to ask was; Why not me? Her family had spent years obsession over her red hair and treating her like someone whose time on earth was limited. “I took those who wanted to be taken.”» — 2.

«“She’s nervous. It’s okay! We’ll protect you, won’t we, boss?” Garm said. “Of course. If you die, you may take half of my power with you,” Nicolas mumbled. “Great. That’s great. I’m supposed to be reassured by a creature that’s already almost killed me once,” she said, turning the car onto the road. “Exactly. It would be very boring to do it again. Let’s find something else to kill!” “Garm, no,” she scolded. It was the first time she heard Nicolas give a genuine laugh.» — 2.

«“Why do you always do that?” “Do what?” “You seem to hate me, but every time I ask something of you, you agree right away,” she said. “I wouldn’t do anything to defy your free will unless I had no other choice.”» — 2.

«She might be terrified, but Nicolas’s calm dampened her fear, like two weather systems swirling together. That makes tornados too, said the voice in her head.» — 2.

«“I’m sorry.” “Stop saying that.” “I am. Believe it or not, deception is not something I’m fond of, especially when it comes to you,” he said.» — 3.

«“Oh, how do I put this without breaking your fragile human psyche?” Bonnie asked herself. It’s a little too late for that, the voice cackled.» — 4.

«“To survive the war, we had to break some of the Second’s rules. When it was over, Nicolas was supposed to be punished and stripped of his Otherlander powers. To be forced to live a human life and die as a mortal. But instead, you took the punishment that was meant for him. I warned Nicolas against contacting you. ‘I’m just keeping an eye out for her’,” Bonnie parroted in a rather good impression of the Knowing One’s accent. “Well, he always did turn into a complete dolt around you, so that tracks.”» — 4.

«“This is impossible,” she finally muttered. “No. It’s improbable. But we’re Otherlanders. Improbable is our whole deal.”» — 4.

«“It’s—“ “If you say it’s complicated one more time, Nicolas, I swear you will be walking down this mountain alone.” He smiled at her.» — 6.

«Garm cleared his throat. “Um. The car’s ready.” “I’ll drive,” Nicolas said, pushing off the tree. Her first instinct was to deny him, but every part of her body felt heavy. “You can drive?” “Of course.” “You’re not going to plunge us off a cliff?” “Depends on what music you put on.”» — 6.

«“This blade is sharp enough to damage even a Dark Saint. Keep it on you. Please.” Hearing the sincerity in his voice, Aleja met his eyes. “What if I try to use it to kill you?” she asked without animosity. “Are you going to use it to kill me?” he asked. “No.” “Then, that’s settled. Take it.”» — 7.

«It felt like she was standing at the end of the bridge with Nicolas waiting for her on the other side. As always, he looked confident as he beckoned her forward, but he didn’t realize the bridge was broken at the center. That Aleja couldn’t reach him, even if she darted across at full speed and attempted to jump over the gap. And yet you’re thinking about trying anyway, said the voice.» — 8.

«“I can tell you the entire story, if you like.” “You should try telling me stuff when we’re not trying to be stealthy.”» — 8.

«“I’ve always known you were going to be the death of me,” he muttered. Aleja decided now would be a good time to prove him right.» — 8.

«Trust your feet, without ever looking up to see what path they have chosen. Your body remembers how to return home, even when you do not.» — A Spell to Find Your Way Home.

«“I’ll find you again, I swear. I’ll crawl through any hell to get to you. He could make me forget a thousand lives, and I would still find you.”» — 9.

«“I’ve always thought you look beautiful when covered in blood. It matches your hair,” Nicolas said. “Are you hitting on me now?” “Sure, if you’re open to it.” “The village is on fire, Nic.” “That’s never stopped us before.”» — 10.

[overlydramaticinephile]

just one kiss.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem! Reader (no physical descriptions)  

Summary: Y/N happens to be falling for Steve but does he feel the same way? (pt. 2)

Word count: 3.9k 

Warnings: Friends to lovers trope, based in the aftermath of season 4 but without the sad parts (the ending if y'know what i mean didn't happen like that), douche behaviour, mostly fluff though. Pretty much another teen movie vibes fic. some cursing. shy!reader but also kind of a mess!reader (English is NOT my first language)

A/N: Hi! Thank you so so much for reading Part 1 of Just one kiss. This is still inspired by The Oc season 4 (ryan x taylor) bc i love teen dramas and stevie needs more love in his life. THEREFORE, reader is like an OFC but not really, i say that bc there are a few mentions of her family. ALSO bc this is based on taylor townsend reader has some interesting characteristics but i love that character so much and idk i think it would be pretty cool to see a different kind of reader :)) so anyway if you made it this far...HOPE YOU ENJOY ILY

READ PART 1 HERE 

It's been 3 days. 3 days since Steve last saw Y/N and he was feeling confused, to say the least. After that kiss, it's pretty much like what Y/N described. Arriving at Oz and everything popped into technicolor. It's a little cliche for his liking but even he had to admit it was pretty fucking weird that a simple kiss could make you question absolutely everything about a person. Because the truth is, 3 days ago Y/N was just the original not as cool babysitter, now…she was still that, but little things Steve noticed about her before started to be more present. He basically started to remember her existence and just the whole situation was killing him, he didn't know exactly what to do, so of course, he went to Robin. But since Robin wasn't home as in home in Hawkins due to some high school band trip, he was now faced to deal with the impossible task by himself.

Until…Dustin Henderson knocked on his door.

“Hey man,” said Steve not even fully acknowledging his presence, he had bigger things on his mind if you know what I mean...

“Well, well I couldn't help but notice you wanted to talk to Robin,” Dustin mentioned mocking offense.

“Uh-huh so?” Steve of course didn't realize he was kidding, he just started to think about Y/N and--

“Well, since she's out of town and she's probably gonna be moving out the next semester you're gonna need a new Robin. So, I thought I would audition for the job.”

“Oh, uh, yeah that's uh very thoughtful.” Steve didn't fully know if he was joking so he didn't try to say much about it.

“So, how does it work? do I ask you what's on your mind?”

“Uh, usually you just listen to me talk, and then I solve my problems on my own.” Steve deadpanned. That really is how it worked.

“Huh. Well, I couldn't help but noticed that you've been spending time with Y/N.”

Dustin of course loved her. She was the older sister he never had and if Steve and she ended up dating? Are you kidding me? That would be a dream come true for the kid.

“Really? Have I?” It started to feel like the universe was against Steve and the fact that he wanted to stop that growing pull towards Y/N.

“If we're gonna talk about girls, I am a far more knowledgeable resource than Robin. You know…because I have Suzie? I should pretty much give you advice all the time.”

“Okay. But you can't repeat this. Because if the real Robin found out I was telling the substitute Robin, a real secret…”

“It's in the vault.”

“Okay. I kissed Y/N. Or she kissed me. Anyway, there was a kiss and���”

“And now you can't stop thinking about her.”

“That is so cute.” Dustin couldn't help but laugh which caught Steve by surprise. What the hell?

“Pretty much.” Steve was waiting for Dustin to mock him. For some reason, he just seemed to find it hilarious whenever he talked about girls and tried to score them.

Steve narrowed his eyes trying to make sense of what was so funny. “Okay, Robin never does that.”

“Sorry, but it is. And so is she.” Why lie?

“Yeah, I know, just…me and Y/N?”

“After everything you've been through over the last few months, if something good happens, shouldn't you embrace it or at least be open to the possibility?” Hell, Dusty had some advice alright.

Steve couldn't believe he would be taking advice from a 15-year-old that spends most of his time playing D&D, not that there's anything wrong with that but you know…

“Yeah, yeah. I guess. Thanks.”

-----------------------------

It's been 5 days since Steve and Y/N last saw each other. Y/N was still on Steve's mind most of the time, but he decided to push the thoughts behind. He could name a million reasons on why this was a bad idea. But again, the universe seemed to not care about Steve and his reasons when he went to pick up coffee after his shift in the next-door establishment that had a bunch of little shops.

Pulling him out of his thoughts Steve heard her voice. The voice he so badly wanted to hear yet tried to forget about.

“Hi Steve.” said Y/N like nothing happened between them, like two regular friends saying hi to one another.

“I'm-I'm not here to see you. I'm just covering for Robin while she's gone.”

Steve's eyes widen, not here, not now, not anywhere to be perfectly honest. He didn't want to face her, so he did the most jerk thing to do in this situation and ran away, but not before answering her. He had that much decency.

“I gotta go. Can't talk.” he said putting his hand over the side of his face like trying not to see into those beautiful Y/E/C eyes of hers. Fearing that if he did, he wouldn't be able to leave.

“That's nice.” said Steve still walking away, hoping Y/N would give up the conversation.

“Sorry that I kissed you.” after those words came out of her mouth it's like that was all that Steve could now hear. All the background noise disappeared in a matter of seconds leaving him to face her once and for all.

“What? No, it's cool.” he said not even convincing himself.

“It's obviously not okay. You're totally uncomfortable around me now.”

“No, no. It's-- The kiss is not a problem.” At least that was true.

That seemed to relieved Y/N, like even though she was acting as if nothing happened, there was still something spinning at the back of her mind.

“Really? Good, because usually when I kiss a guy, it ends in tears. His, not mine. Because I'm a bit of a lip-biter. And, you know, sometimes I draw blood and...” and she started to ramble again.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” she cringed at herself for not learning when to stop talking or when it's too much information for that matter.

“What are you doing tonight?” said Steve in a moment of weakness and sincerity.

Y/N didn't seem to notice what his last statement truly meant.

“Oh, I'm updating my journal. It's kind of a collage really but with these--”

“Y/N, tonight. Are you busy?” Even though he liked to see her excited about these random things he was in kind of a you are making me nervous trance.

“ls that a yes?” Steve asked confused.

Holy shit thought Y/N. Was this actually happening?

“Oh.”

And with that it was like she finally completely reacted to what was happening. Not that was a good thing per se.

“Yes! it is a yes squared...in all caps with an exclamation mark and a smiley-face.” She said way too excited.

“A simple yes will do.” Steve smiled at her. How did he not notice before how cute she was when she got excited?

“Yes.” she answered more calmed now yet giving him one of the most bright and warm smiles he had ever seen. He wanted to capture that look on her face. Truth is she looked gorgeous and he wonder why she didn't smile more often and if he could make her smile more...

“Great, I'll see you tonight.”

“Do you just wanna come up to the comic bookstore?” said Y/N before Steve got to walk away. “There's a big TV, surround-sound, and many VHS.”

Steve thought that sounded perfect. A low-key night. The two of them. That should clear his mind. “All right. See you then.”

----------------------------------------

It had been 5 days since Steve and Y/N saw each other and, on this day, day 5, they were going on a kind of date, Steve's idea by the way.

Y/N couldn't help but tell her sister all about it and with that she decided to help her with her outfit. Sure, it was a casual date thing, but she still wanted to look presentable yet this time in her own style, not unconsciously copying Nancy Wheeler's outfits. No, this time around she would stay true to herself in every way possible. So, with that in mind she decided to wear this brown turtleneck with her washed denim levis that fitted her like a glove. She put on her favorite pair of snickers and did her hair in a casual style. As for makeup, a little blush and mascara never hurt anybody.

Steve showed up at the comic bookstore Y/N told him about earlier without knowing what to think, was this a date? was he trying something out? it was all just too confusing.

Meanwhile, Y/N was putting the VHS on after Steve told her she could choose the movie. He was hoping for something fun, something that would make his thoughts slow down, but it would probably be a chick flick if he was being honest.

At least that's what he thought. Because it was much worse.

“I mean, did you ever think that time travelling could be so beautiful?” said Y/N after Marty McFly got in the famous DeLorean.

Yeah, Y/N didn't know Steve had already seen this movie. Kind of at least. July 4th, 1985. One of the many days he almost died but this time around mainly because of the Russians and that trip him and Robin were in. What a day... anyway. Steve didn't want to mention it because that's not really something you bring up at a date. Or is it a hang out? Either way he wasn't really paying attention. Too many thoughts on his mind, he did have to seem present though.

“How many times have you seen this?” Steve asked trying to make small talk.

“I watch it every night. Helps me relax.” she said way too quick to be perfectly honest. Her eyes were glued to the TV and had one hand in and out of the popcorn bowl.

“Right.”

Steve was slowly losing his mind, he was not only watching the movie that was ironically playing on one of the most traumatic days of his life but aside from that, he couldn't stop thinking on his next move. Should he grab her hand? Put his arm around her shoulders? He went with the latter. And even though he couldn't really tell, Y/N was watching his every move from her side view. They finally locked eyes and started leaning towards each other to share one more kiss.

It was going great. Y/N closed her eyes feeling Steve's hot and minty breath until she didn't anymore. While she was waiting for the kiss, Steve was analyzing her and mentally thinking along the lines of what the hell am I doing? Kissing Y/N again? She’s cute and all but-

“Is everything okay?” Y/N spoke up after realizing that nothing was happening, and that Steve was still looking at her lips. She was feeling pretty self-conscious by now.

“I'm sorry.” Steve left his trance and got up from the couch feeling like he needed some space between the two of them right now.

“So that's a no.” Y/N was confused but mostly hurt. Now it was her turn to overthink, what had she done wrong? Was this a game to him? Or-

“I can't do this.” Steve started feeling overwhelmed. He basically wanted to run out of there, but he knew that he had hurt her bad enough already.

The sadness in Y/N face suddenly washed off and changed to confusion after a little thinking. “Okay. I've done my fair share of misreading signs in my life. But you asked me to hang out. You sat next to me. You leaned in with a slight tilt of your head.”

“I know, I know, and I'm sorry. You're a great girl. It's just, this is too weird.” Jeez Steve. Kill her with kindness?

“That makes me feel so much better.” Y/N stood up, ready to leave the place and avoid the guy as much as she could.

Steve eyes widen at the realization of what he just said and how wrong it sounded. “Me! Not you, me. I'm....weird.”

But by then Y/N was one foot out the door and probably pissed off so that went out great.

----------------------------------------

Day 6. Steve's fail date aftermath. He was hanging in his room going through does books Y/N had given him last week trying to get some work done when someone knocked on his door. Again.

He was expecting Dustin begging him for a ride when in reality it was one Eddie Munson. Now that, he wouldn't expect.

“Hey man. So, Dustin told me he came in yesterday and applied for the job of substitute Robin.”

“He may have.” Steve knew where he was going with this. It was no secret Steve and Eddie became friends after the Vecna situation, but he never expected him to actually care.

“Well, you know…if anyone's qualified, I think we all know it's me. I'm thinking the reason you didn't ask is because no interview was necessary.”

“It turns out. I may not have to fill the position. I handled the whole Y/N thing. Although it may be a little awkward for a while.”

“What happened?” Eddie's voice became a little defensive. He liked Y/N, she has always been nice to him, and she had killer music taste so, even though Steve and himself might be friends now, he might need to smack some sense into the boy if he hurts her in any way.

“Nothing happened.”

“Which was the problem for her.” Eddie could also read Y/N like the back of his hand so, of course it would be a problem for her, he knew about the little crush she had on Harrington.

“Yeah. But now I don't know. At first, I thought I was caught up in the whole Nance thing. Then I thought the problem might have been Y/N because she can be a little weird.”

That made Eddie laughs a little. He wasn't completely wrong but who wouldn't love a chick like that? “She's a touch eccentric.”

“But now I think the problems me. Maybe it's too soon.”

“So, keep it casual. You know, just tell her you need to be friends for now.”

“Yeah, that's a line every girl loves to hear.” Steve's mind went back to that fancy party they went to last week where he said he liked her as a friend. Beautiful words really.

“Well, if it's the truth, she'll understand.”

Steve let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. “Well, I don't have any other choice. So, I'll give it a shot.”

----------------------------------------

It was day 7. Officially one week after the kiss that started this whole mess. Steve went to visit Y/N at the gift shop where she worked part time. Hoping he would find her, give her the best explanation possible and maybe go and get some coffee if he was lucky that is.

“Y/N.” Steve entered the store all hopeful. One could almost see hearts in his eyes.

“Steve.” Y/N said dryly. Steve hated not hearing the honey-like voice that would come out of her mouth whenever she said his name before. But he gets it. He would be pissed too.

“Boo!” said Y/N mimicking a scary pose.

Steve was confused but gave her a warm smile remembering what Eddie said about her been eccentric.

“Didn't run away that time, so you must not be that scared of me.”

“Brad, Steve. Steve, Brad.” Of course, his name was Brad.

Oh. “Alright, look, I just wanted to come by and apologize about last night, and... And I didn't know you had company.”

This whole time Steve was focusing on the sound of her voice or how cute she looked in that outfit that he didn't notice the blonde standing next to her who was probably a jock.

“Brad.”

“Steve.”

Well, it definitely was awkward.

“I've been helping Brad track down this Michael J. Fox biography. It turns out that he watches Back to the Future every night before he goes to bed too.” said Y/N with a proud grin.

“Wow, that's--” again with Back to the Future, awesome.

“Kismet? I know. Maybe it's too soon to talk about fate, but...” Y/N was using all the dramatic romance tactics that she has seen on TV. The talk about destiny and soulmates. But that was all it was, talk. Not that Steve realized that.

“Yeah, anyway, I just wanted to see if you needed a ride home or anything.”

“Oh, I got my bike, thanks.” said Brad. How cute.

“Not you.”

“Well, that is very friendly of you, Steve. Since I'm assuming that's what you want us to be, just friends.” she's always one step ahead of him he had to give her that.

“Well, if you're cool with that.” mumbled Steve. He didn't know if he was jealous or nervous, but neither were a good option.

“All right, well, you know, I'll see you, then.”

“Steve Harrington, mon ami. Sounds terrif.” Y/N gave her hand to Steve to shake and get this over with. She wanted to seem like what he did, didn't affect her. That she had moved on.

“But Brad and I were just gonna hang out and order some takeout...so if you don't mind…” she was basically kicking him out. Not that he could blame her.

“Bye, friend.” said Y/N in that dry tone again. A tone that Steve got to hate.

“Bye, Steve. Nice to meet you, man.”

“Bye, Brad...”

----------------------------------------

It's been an entire week and Steve still couldn't get Y/N out of his mind. Which sucked for him, but the good news was that Robin arrived that day too, so at least he was excited to discuss different things with her again.

“So, the good news is, I think she likes me. Bad news is, I'm not sure if she still has a boyfriend.”

She must mean Vickie.

“What?” Steve had spaced out again.

“Vickie was at the trip. Stuff happened. I'm about to head over to her house.”

Then it clicked. Vickie and Y/N were neighbors.

“Can I come?” said Steve with this tone of anxiety all over him.

“I appreciate your interest, but I think this is a conversation just for the two of us.”

“ls Y/N gonna be there?”

“I assume so...”

“I like her.” Steve didn't hesitate this time. He had no excuses either.

“Say what now? Why would you even think that?” Robin was surprised. She was gone a week and suddenly he liked her back?

“Because I keep imagining her on roller skates…and washing windows with a big bucket of soapy water.”

“Dude, your fantasies are so pedestrian. A sudsy girl? That's so average.”

“Doesn't mean it's not hot.”

“I guess they call them classics for a reason.”

“Do you wanna drive or should l?”

 ---------------------------------

Steve entered Y/N's house which was full of teenagers. Was Y/N L/N having a party? Nope. Soon he realized it was her sister's birthday party. Still, that meant she must be in the house somewhere.

“Y/N? You here?” Steve decided to check the rooms, maybe she was hiding in there or watching Back to the Future again. He wouldn't be surprised but as soon as he opened the door to the next room, he heard a familiar voice under the covers of the bed next to some laughter.

“Steve?” Brad's head popped out of the duvet to take a better look at him.

What the fuck? “Brad, hey. Keep doing what you're doing. I was looking for Y/N, but clearly, she's--”

“Who's Y/N? Is this your boyfriend?” that's when another guy showed his face under the covers.

Steve was just confused by now but the larger issue at hand was, “Y/N isn't in there with you guys, is she?”

“Nope.”

“I barely even know her. She told me if I pretended to like her, she'd give me her employees discount at the shop. It's extremely rare.”

With that Steve felt the biggest relief. He wasn't too late.

“Okay. Um, what are you doing, man? I mean, I think Y/N really likes you. And your kind of leading her on.”

“Wait, she paid you to pretend to like her? Huh. That sounds like Y/N. All right, well, carry on.”

--------------------------------------------

Finally, after what felt like hours, he found Y/N in the kitchen, and he cursed himself for not checking there sooner.

“Y/N.”

“Steve.” That dry tone again.

“What are you doing?”

“Someone wrote I love poop on this poor guy's face. That kind of thing can scar you for life.” she said as she rubbed his forehead with a sponge hoping the sharpie would come off.

“No, what are you doing paying your gay friend Brad to pretend he's in love with you?”

“It's a little strange.” he couldn't help but say.

Oh, that.

“Well, what if I did hmm? What if I did rent a homosexual for the evening? And pay him with rare gifts from my employee discount? What difference does it make to you?” Y/N was now standing at his eye level making a serious face because she in fact was genuinely curious.

Y/N tossed her hands to her sides with desperation. “Well, so am l. Which is why you ran away from me last night.”

“No, it wasn't because you're strange.”

“You don't find me strange?” Y/N narrowed her eyes. That would be a first.

“No, I do, but it's not why I took off.” Well, never mind.

Might as well rip off the band-aid. “Look, I'm not really ready for a relationship right now. Or a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? Cart, horse. Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself there?” Y/N scoffed.

“Well, I mean, just because I wanna spend time with you...doesn't mean that we have to get married.”

“I see.” Steve couldn't help but smile, it was like she was reading his mind.

“Look, you're a sweet, smart, great guy, Steve Harrington. And hot. Did I mention hot?”

Okay so now she got him fully blushing, his cheeks were turning red and he had that little smirk that could melt the hearts of a thousand people.

“So, whatever happens, happens.” look at her being all smooth.

“Y/N, that's--”

“Normal? Yeah. I have my moments.”

And with that they were going for the next kiss, the first kiss since last week. Their faces were so close together--

“You know, this is my first college bash. Have you ever played Seven Minutes in Heaven?” Poor Y/N didn't realize those weren't the games they played at a university party but Steve found it so adorable that he didn't want to burst her bubble of the world.

---------------------------------------

She drew him toward her with her eyes, he inclined his face toward hers when suddenly but surely their lips touched, this kiss felt more eager but passionate at the same time. They were fully making out by now and Steve was filled with the warm and fuzzy feeling he had the other day that he saw her smile. He thought—

“Okay, seven minutes are up. Said you wanted to take it slow.” said Y/N in a mocking but sweet tone.

“Yeah, well, I don't think eight minutes would be rushing it. Nine seems like a good pace. And- and ten is a nice, round number.”

Steve started to realize about the power she was slowly having over him, she could lure him back anytime she wanted he just had to be honest about it.

There will be a part 3 bc I want relationship progress! 😊 love you guys thank you so much for reading. Should I start a tag list? Comment if you would be interested! Okay bye! Have an amazing weekend and see you next week 

 FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED <3

[azaleavi]

Pretty boy

Summary: You don't like James Barnes. Of course not when he has a different girl with him every time. And no, you are not jealous... right?

Word count: 3.8k i went OUT with this one

Warnings: language, a man being a creep, then getting beaten up, kissing, very slight alcohol consumption

Author's note: This gave me the idea. It turned out to be pretty long. Sorry. I hope you like it! This is 40s!Bucky btw.

Feedback is always appreciated and don’t forget to reblog and like if you enjoyed it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

Part 2

James Barnes was a menace. An annoying little shit, who thought he could do anything and have anyone just because he was handsome. Not like you found him attractive or anything, but all the girls of New York seemed to drop their panties at the sight of him. One pet name and they were ready to kiss the ground he walked on. You couldn’t understand. How did these girls not see what kind of person he was? Multiple times you saw girls leave his apartment in the morning looking all sad. At first you felt bad for them, but after a while as they kept coming back you just couldn’t bring yourself to pity them.

Being a close friend of Steve meant you got to see a lot of James too. They were kind of a package deal, to which - by the way - you did not sign up for. Steve was the sweetest person you’ve ever met, maybe too righteous sometimes and he definitely did not know how to walk away from a fight, but he was a good man inside and out. James on the other hand was not like him. He wasn’t a bad man per se, but he was just too much of a player for you. He knew he was handsome and he used it to get girls all the time. Or dames as he called them. You hated that word by every fiber of your being. It reduced a woman to a simple object in your opinion and it basically said that she was only a pretty thing and nothing else. You did not want to be a pretty thing, you wanted more out of your life. Marrying some stuck up man and bearing his children was not something you dreamed of, no matter how many times people told you that it was what you had to do. No. You wanted a life that didn’t revolve around men. A life that you could choose for yourself. But it wasn’t that easy. Everyone expected you to do what they did. It didn’t even occur to them that you wanted something else.

Your mom had been telling you that you should marry James as he was such a nice young man. You just rolled your eyes every time she brought it up. She didn’t understand. How could she when she was so in love with your father after they met a few times that they got married just after a couple of months of knowing each other. Their love was something so extraordinary that you knew it wouldn’t happen to you. Especially not with James. He wasn't thinking about marriage and even if he did he wouldn't want you as a wife. Not like you wanted to marry him or anyone else for that matter, but that didn't mean that it didn't sting a little that he went after every girl he saw, but never thought of you the same way. He never even tried and it beat down your confidence a little. When you first met James you found him intriguing, your young self even had a crush on him for a while. But it didn't take long for you to get to know the real him and the disappointment made you force that crush down. You only laughed at yourself now, finding it hilarious that you once wanted to kiss him and love him. Of course, you didn't feel that way about him anymore. That would be stupid of you. Of course..

-

Having a night out with Steve was a wonderful idea. That is until James showed up, making you narrow your eyes at your friend. You clearly remembered him telling you that James had other plans and it would be just the two of you, but of course he had to mess up your plans.

You went to a bigger pub in the city, having been there before and liking it. James dragged Steve away as soon as you entered, talking about some girl he wanted to introduce him to, so you just went to the bar to ask for some alcohol. God knows you needed it if James was around.

All of the sudden two hands grabbed your waist and turned you around. Before you could realize what was happening a pair of lips were on yours, kissing with so much passion you almost moaned into it. Noses bumping against each other your hand gripped his hair. Your mind cleared as you realized that a stranger was kissing you without your permission and you pushed him away by his chest, hand already raised to slap him. Your whole body froze as you came face to face with a familiar man. James.

"What the fuck is your problem?" you hissed, your palm almost connecting with his cheek, but being stopped by his hand on your wrist. He pulled you close again by his hold on your arm.

"There is a girl I need to get rid of. Just play along" he mumbled, his breath hitting your lips as he leaned in for another kiss. You almost got lost in him again, but you were more aware and not caught by surprise this time so you managed to pull your head away from him.

"I will do no such thing" you narrowed your eyes at him. "Let go of me" you were getting angrier by the second. Who did he think he was?

"What if I don't want to?" Okay that's it. You ripped yourself from his arms.

“Listen here, pretty boy” you pointed your finger at him in your anger, not registering the smug expression that worked its way onto his face. “You can’t just do whatever you want because you are a-“

“You think I’m pretty?” he interrupted your angry rambling and grabbed your finger to pull you closer by it. In your surprise you stumbled forward, your hands finding place on his chest, your nose a few inches from his.

“James” you called out his name in warning. If he didn’t let go of you right now you wouldn’t be responsible for what you did to him.

“Come on, doll. I told you to call me Bucky multiple times” he smirked down at you.

“And I told you that we are not friends therefore I don’t have to call you your stupid nickname” you yanked your hand out of his grip, stepping back. “And stop calling me doll. I’m not one of your girls”

“Ouch doll, that hurts my feelings” he rubbed his chest where his heart was.

“Oh, I didn’t know you knew what those were” you frowned at him, not amused by his teasing. He opened his mouth in mocking shock.

"Don't be so mean to me. A lady like you should always be polite." he teased, knowing well that you hated being called a lady and being told what you should and should not do.

"Good thing I'm not a lady then" you grimaced at him, cocking your head to the side.

"Well, with the way you've been talking to me, I guess you aren't" he stepped back into your personal space. "And if you are not a lady then you should have no problem playing along with me."

"I'm might not be a lady, but I'm definitely not one of your dames either" you pushed him by his shoulders to finally have enough space between you.

"Are you jealous, doll?" a smug smile played on his lips.

"Oh very." your sarcasm was clear as day. "It would be an honor to lie in your bed then leave in the morning, only to never hear from you again." you turned back to the bar, your drink already in front of you. Lifting the glass you nodded at the bartender who gave you a small smile. You drowned it in one shot, the alcohol giving your throat a familiar burn as it went down. "Is there anything else you need?" you turned back to him. He didn't say anything as he kept staring at you. "No? Then you can leave me alone" you shooed him away by your hands, already done with his shenanigans.

"Don't drink too much because of me" he called after you as he walked backwards, that stupid smile not leaving his lips. Rolling your eyes you turned back to the bar, leaning on it with your elbows, a sigh leaving your lips.

How could he just kiss you like that? You thought he at least had some respect for you, bit it seemed like he didn't. He was James Barnes for god's sake. Of course he didn't. You didn't know what you were thinking. He wasn't different from any man. A part of you believed that he might have been but he just proved it that he wasn't. Your mother would loose her mind if she knew what her 'nice young man' did to you just now.

You shook your head to get the thoughts out of it and signaled for the bartender to give you another shot. You drowned that one too as someone sat down next to you. You were ready to tell him to fuck off, thinking it was James again, but as you turned your head it was a man your age. You lifted your eyebrows, not being in the mood to deal with another self-centered man.

"What is a pretty dame like you doing here alone?" he tried to flirt, but he already lost you at the word he called you.

"I'm not here alone. And it's none of your business" you showed him a mocking smile and stood up ready to leave, your night already ruined. A hand locking around your wrist made you stop.

"Come on. I just want to make you have a good time" he smirked, but it left his lips as soon as you ripped your arm out of his hold.

"I don't care about your good time" you rubbed your wrist, his grip leaving the skin red.

"Okay. I tried being nice, but you clearly don't care for it. Maybe you like men when they are being a little more forceful? You like 'em rough?" he pulled you to his body by your waist, your hands flying to his chest trying to push him away. Why is this happening to you now?

"Let go of me" you squirmed in his hold, disgusted by him. Unfortunately he was stronger than you and didn't loosen his arms around you no matter how hard you hit his chest.

"You like this don't ya?" his breath hit your cheek as you tried to get as far away as you could.

"No, I don't. Stop" you were getting desperate, looking around for anyone to help you. There were a lot of people around, but none of them seemed to care. Tears gathered in your eyes.

Suddenly the man was pulled backwards by his collar, a fist meeting his cheek a second later, making you gasp. He fell down on the ground, but your savior didn't let him get away that easily as he hit him a few more times. You quickly stepped closer and that's when you saw his face. It was James. Your shock quickly dissipated as he lifted his arm again to hit the other man. You hands grabbed his forearm and you tried to pull him away, making him look at you.

"Stop it, James. He is already on the ground" you pleaded. A relieved sigh left your lips as he stepped away, his arm going around your waist to lead you away from the crowd that formed around you.

"Are you okay?" he stopped you in front of the building, the cold night air picking at your skin.

"Yes, I'm fine." you rubbed your arms, stopping your movements as he grabbed your arm that had the red bruise on it.

"Did he do that to you?" he almost growled, head turning to look inside the place.

"Yes, but it's fine. It doesn't hurt that much" you put your hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. Why did he care anyway?

The door opened and Steve walked out, a worried look on his face. you immediately pulled your hand away from James, stepping back.

"I heard what happened. Are you okay?" his eyes traveled over your whole body, trying to see if you were hurt.

"I'm fine, Steve." you forced a smile in his direction. In truth you weren't completely fine, but the boys didn't need to know that.

"I'll walk her home" James spoke up from next to you, making you look at him in surprise.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking home myself, thank you" you replied to him.

"I know that, but both of us would be more relaxed if someone was with you. And Steve was talking to a pretty woman before I left" he sent a knowing smile to the man. You looked at him, only to see him looking down at his feet, a blush on his cheek confirming James' words.

"Steve! What are you doing out here then?" you almost shouted at him. "Go back inside right now. I'll be fine." you waved him off.

"I'll go check on you tomorrow, okay?" he was already inching backwards toward the door.

"Yes, okay, just go" you laughed, happy for him. He walked back inside, leaving the two of you alone. "So you don't have to walk me home, just stay outside for a little while so Steve doesn't get suspicious." you forced another smile on your face.

"I will not let you walk around alone this late at night." he grabbed your arm that wasn't bruised and started pulling you towards your home.

"I've done it multiple times before" you argued, but walked alongside with him, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.

For the duration of the walk neither of you spoke a word, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. The silence between you was nice, letting you look around as he still held your arm, neither of you wanting to let go. He made you feel safe as you walked along the dim streets, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Thanks for walking me home" you reached your house, stopping in front of the door as you turned to him.

"Isn't there something else you should thank me for too?" he smirked, stepping closer.

"Well I was about to say it, but now I'm not going to" you put your hands behind you, leaning on the door.

"It's not only with words that you can thank me" he leaned closer, his face a few inches from yours for the second time that night. There it is.

"You know, I was thinking that you are not so bad while we were walking home, but you just reminded me why I don't like you" you smiled at him.

"And why is that?" he tilted his head to the side.

"You just can't keep it in your pants." you shook your head.

"Actually I wanted to apologize about earlier." he got serious, stepping backwards to put some distance between you.

"Earlier?" you asked back, confused as to what he was referring to.

"The kiss" he mumbled, looking down, almost as if he was nervous. But James Barnes does not get nervous.

"Oh." it was all you could say, surprise taking over your brain.

"So I'm sorry" he kept looking down.

"Uhm... it's okay, I guess?" you didn't know what to say to that, thoughts running through your mind a thousand miles an hour.

"I'm just gonna go now." he pointed behind him awkwardly. As he turned away you couldn't help yourself and you called after him, the alcohol in your system giving you courage.

"You are really not that bad, James." he turned back, surprise written all over his face, but he quickly covered it up by a smirk.

"Is that a compliment I hear?" you rolled your eyes at him. There was the James you knew.

"And it might be the last if you keep this up" you let out a smile. "But seriously, we could be friends if you didn't do what you do." you shrugged nonchalantly.

"What am I doing?" he asked, confused.

"You know, every time I see you, you have a different girl on your arm" you couldn't look into his eyes, a little embarrassed.

"You avoid me because of that?" his eyes widened.

"Yes. What did you think the reason was?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"I don't know. I just thought you do it because you don't like me, not because you are jealous" he let out a laugh.

"I am not jealous, James. Get that out of your head." you looked away as a blush crept up your cheeks.

"Oh god you are blushing" he continued to laugh, the redness of your cheek only deepening. "I can't believe you like me" he mused.

"Okay, that is enough out of you. I'm going inside" you turned and reached for the handle as he grabbed you to turn you back around, your back hitting the wood of the door, his left arm on the door next to your face, his right circled around your waist. You let out a gasp at how close his face was.

"You didn't deny it" he whispered, his warm breath hitting your lips. Your mouth opened, realizing your mistake.

"I-" you wanted to defend yourself, but nothing came to mind. His right hand touched your face, palm flat against your cheek. You couldn't help but lean into his touch, closing your eyes for a second. Your eyes snapped open when you realized what you were doing and pushed his hand away. "I'm not one of your dames, James" you looked into his eyes. You couldn't let him treat you like any other girl. You refused to be another one night stand for him. A stable relationship you could work with, but being someone he called when he was bored was not something you wanted or could handle.

"No, you are not." he agreed.

"Then don't treat me like them" you pushed yourself more into the door. You were afraid. Not of him, he would never hurt you. Not physically at least. But you were afraid of what would happen. Will he leave you saying that he won't give up that lifestyle for you? Or will he stay with you?

"Never" he shook his head.

"I don't want to be one of many" you continued, trying to get him to understand.

"You know why I was always with a different girl?" he pulled away slightly.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to forget about you. I thought you didn't like me because you were always so distant. So I just wanted to find someone else, but none of them compared to you." he brushed his thumb along your lower lip. Your eyes met his as he lifted your head by your chin. "None of them were you" his nose bumped against yours. "I like you. I did from the first time we met" he finally confessed, your heart skipping a beat at his words.

"James" his name left your lips in a sigh. "Kiss me" he didn't need more as his lips latched onto yours, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. His tongue swiped across your lip asking for entrance and as you opened your mouth, his body pushed you against the door, trapping you. It was a trap you never wanted to escape. His hands held your head, his thumbs stroking your cheeks as you arms were around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Your heart beat rapidly as his hands traveled down your body, stopping at your waist.

A few moments later he had to pull away as both of you needed air, but de didn't go far, only enough for you to catch your breath. His forehead leaning against yours, noses touching, the two of you giggled into each others mouths.

"Wow" he mumbled as he left short pecks on your lips, unable to keep himself away from you. It was your first real kiss and he was already addicted.

"Stop it" you giggled and let him press one long peck on you before pushing him away. "I don't want you to get bored of that" you teased.

"I could never" he pressed another kiss on your mouth, making you laugh.

"Okay, I understand" you could barely talk as he still had his mouth on yours. He pulled you closer and rested his head on your shoulder.

"You are amazing" he murmured into the fabric of your clothes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, James" you were glad he couldn't see your face as it was coated in a red blush.

"I'm just saying the truth" he pressed his lips to your cheek.

"I probably should get inside, before we wake up my parents." you sucked in your lips try to hide your smile.

"Maybe" he agreed, but made no move to let you go.

"You have to let me go for that to happen" you pulled away as much as you could.

"Then you shouldn't go" he teased, still holding you.

"I'll see you tomorrow, or today I should say" you reassured him and he let go at that. You straightened your clothes as he watched you. Looking up at him the softness in his eyes almost made you say 'fuck it' and spend the rest of the night with him, but you held yourself back. He turned and walked down the stairs, but suddenly ran buck up to you to press one more long kiss on your soft lips. You couldn't help, but let a smile break out on your lips as he pulled away to look into your eyes once more.

He was already out on the street when you remembered something.

"Hey, pretty boy!" you called after him once more, making him turn around with a big smile on his face from the nickname. "Good night" you bit your lip, trying to hide your own smile, but failing miserably.

"Good night to you too, doll" he playfully bowed down a little, making you let out a laugh.

If someone saw you that night, under the moonlight, they would have seen two people completely in love with one another, laughing, being happy that they finally found their missing piece that was in front of them the whole time. Eyes shining like the stars above them as they watched each other, only the moon being witness of their intimate moment.

Permanent taglist: @byatomoe

get added to my taglist

[lesbians4armand]

So I had a thought about the punisher that I’m gonna try and get down into words here, the premise is that I don’t think Billy ever intended for it to go that far.

(putting under a cut cause this is longer than I thought it’d be)

I think he thought that when he took that deal with Rawlins he never thought it would go as far as it did. He wanted to leave the marines, but Frank wouldn’t go with him, and he didn’t really have anything to go back to but him, so he took the deal, took the money to have something he never had, to have another life and disconnect from Frank somewhat.

Maybe he thought no one would ever find out about it once it was over, that Frank would eventually leave or the mission would end, and that would be that, no one would know.

But that wasn’t what happened, because Gunner filmed that one execution, which was then sent to Micro, then to Dinah, which makes things so much more complicated. They had to intercept the tape and take it from Dinah so she doesn’t find what they’re doing, and then get Wolf (attempt to) kill Micro.

Then, to really make sure no one finds out about it, cause now it’s been leaked and that’s a threat, Rawlins decides to kill everyone involved that wasn’t in on the conspiracy. (He also decided to kill them for his own petty revenge on Frank for taking his eye, but that’s less related to this)

By this point it’s gotten much further that Billy ever wanted it too, and it means Frank has to die, which Billy doesn’t want. Billy refuses to be the one to kill him, because he loves him he’s his best friend, so they have Schoonover organise and carry it out instead by setting up 3 different gangs to disguise what they’re doing.

This kills Frank’s wife and children, and Frank himself should have died, he was shot. If Frank died he would’ve been the last, it would’ve been over then, covered up. Billy didn’t want to do this himself, but he did know it was going to happen. He accepted it, the best he could. But Frank doesn’t die. And that is a problem.

And then, of course he goes on a rampage of vengeance. The events of Daredevil happen, and then they, along with everyone else, assume Frank is really dead this time, figuring their problem has resolved itself. Billy also believes he’s dead, and mourns Frank alongside Curtis (also not knowing about Curtis knowing Frank was alive.) 

I don’t think that mourning was pretend, because while Billy accepted Frank had to die, he didn’t want it, he never wanted it go go that far, and he can mourn that

Frank kills the rest of the gangs, not knowing about the real people behind his family’s deaths, and then plays dead for a while, living as ‘Pete Castiglione’, thinking his ‘Punisher’ days are over. .

Until Micro reaches out to him, and informs him of the bigger conspiracy behind it, all while Dinah is trying to figure out about the death of her partner and the tape she was sent of it. And Dinah is the one who brings Billy back into it, she was the one who told Billy that Frank was alive, which lead to them seeing each other again. And after Sam’s death, which only happened because Billy was brought back into the conspiracy, both Dinah and Frank find out he was involved in it.

And because may of the others involved are now dead, by Frank’s hand or otherwise, Billy is at the centre of it, even if he never wanted to be, because he took a deal for money. And it went far further than he ever meant. 

So, now that Billy is one of two people left who knew about and were part of the plot, he’s on Frank’s list. Because, whether he likes it or not, or even whether he was the one that did it, he was involved it Maria’s death. In Lisa’s death. In Frankie’s death. And it doesn’t matter whether he wanted that to happen or not, it doesn’t matter how close he was with them, he did it.

Billy drops the illusion in ep13, the illusion he was maintaining throughout, desperately trying to disguise his involvement, disguise his guilt, and he sort of breaks down about it. So sure, Billy betrayed Frank, but I don’t think he ever meant to in the way he ended up doing, not originally. Again, he definitely went along with it when it got more complex, but him flat out refusing to kill Frank, i think tells us a little on his thoughts and feelings of that.

But yeah, at the start I believe Billy just thought it would be a one time thing, he would do these terrible things while he’s still in the Marines, get out, then live the rest of his life. No one needs to get hurt outside of that. Except they did, and he payed the price for that.

Obviously Billy is still a fucked up person with little regard for other people (like how we kept covering up what happened, killing Sam, shooting/threatening Curtis, killing a bunch of other people with no remorse), but he cared about Frank. We know he did, and he didn’t want to hurt him in particular. But he did.

Its an interesting thing to think about.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

I love your writing.

if it's not too much trouble may i make a request? I'm thinking the Dimitrescu women meeting and/or courting a fellow immortal.

the circumstances of the immortal's powers and possession of immorality are entirely up to you. I just like the idea of them meeting someone they could literally spend forever with...because they deserve it ❤

I wasn't sure if you wanted a story or headcanons? I went with HCs, here, but if you wanted more of a drabble or whatever just lemme know and I'll write something like that.

Also, I got excited and carried away so this has the whole Dimitrescu family, plus shorter ones for both Mother Miranda and Donna. Admittedly Alcina's is also a little on the shorter side? I tried to write everything that came to mind, but I am kinda tired right now, sorry. Might reblog this and add some more later.

(Under read-more for length)

Cassandra:

Tries (and fails) to hide her excitement. Mortality is one of the bigger things that has made her keep her distance to others, at least in the past. Every Maiden she’s ever been the slightest bit smitten with, up until this point, has been incredibly fragile. Seeing as she’s not exactly the softest person, one can easily imagine why that would be a turn off for her. But now that’s no longer a problem!

On the other had… having an immortal partner gives Cassandra pause. Why? Because what if they breakup? Normally, she can just, ahem, “dispose” of any exes (regardless of how much it hurts) so she doesn’t have to see them/deal with them anymore. If that’s not an option, she’ll definitely take longer than usual to do anything about her feelings. She wants to be sure, 100%, before she gets in over her head. Chances are she won’t hold back for as long as she wants though.

Likely to have a loud, messy confession. She’ll have been avoiding you for a few days, always ducking out of whatever rooms you enter, leaving you both hurt and confused. After enlisting the help of her sisters, you’ll be able to corner her outside. She’ll tell you, under no uncertain circumstances, to leave her alone. But you’ll refuse, demanding an explanation.

“I thought we had something. I thought you cared,” you’ll snap, eyes watering. “If that’s changed… if I was wrong, just tell me. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back.” Cue thunder and raining (because tropes) and Cassandra dramatically pulling you into a kiss, holding you so tightly you think you might bruise. Then she’s demanding that you stay, refusing to apologize but making it clear just how much she does care.

Being immortal, you’re not as defenseless as some of Cassandra’s past interests. Naturally, she doesn’t get quite as protective as she normally would. She’ll still have your back no matter what, ready to fight by your side against any foe, and will probably consider doing so a “fun bonding activity”. Oh, some lycans are encroaching on Dimitrescu territory? Time to go destroy them, as a power couple!

Despite having all the time in the world, Cassandra won’t change much of her actual courting behavior, nor the rate at which things advance. She’s still gonna get handsy fairly early on, still gonna “rah!” at you in the hallways, and still going to struggle with her jealousy.

Immortality Compatibility: I can see Cassandra going for another vampire (or vampire adjacent) creature, or someone demonic. She likes her lovers a bit rough, with some nice bite to their personalities. If you’ve got sharp teeth, or claws, or glowing eyes? Oh boy, she’s gonna be making heart eyes at you all the time.

Bela:

If your immortality isn’t immediately obvious, Bela is over the moon with joy when she finds out. Her eyes will go wide for a moment, before she tries to seem calm (so as to not freak you out), but her heart is pounding. This is what she’s been hoping for. As much as Mother Miranda has done for her family, there’s no guarantee that she’d be willing to give more. Even if Miranda granted Bela’s lover her “gift”, there was no telling what the results would be, or if the lover would survive. Now that there’s no need for such a transformation, it’s far easier for Bela to imagine herself in love (and eventually be in love).

Slow-burn romance over a decade or longer, oops. Doesn’t even necessarily mean to take things so slowly, just doesn’t feel a need to rush things, preferring that they develop organically. With both of you having unlimited time, you’re both used to working on a very large timescale. Maidens watching the two of you probably place bets on how long it’ll take you to hold hands for the first time. Everyone knows it’s coming, but no matter how much Cassandra and Daniela complain, Bela refuses to jump into things. By the time the two of you are officially together, you’re probably madly in love with each other.

More protective than Cassandra, if only because she knows just how rare you are. Immortal or not, you likely still have a weakness, and Bela will do everything in her power to make sure no one else knows what it is. If applicable, she will also ensure she has a countermeasure readily available. For example: If you were weak to fire, she’d make sure that the castle keeps extinguishers handy, just in case. Though they should probably already do that. Not that the Dimitrescu family cares much for OSHA compliance.

Somehow grows more in love with you with every passing year, and makes sure that you know this. Whether you’ve been together for one year or one century (because in this house we ignore canon), she’s always performing little acts of love, giving constant reminders of how strongly she feels. Gifts, special dates, book recommendations, etc.

Immortality Compatibility: Bela seems like the type to go for someone with a calming presence, and perhaps somewhat of a contrast to herself. I can picture her with someone somewhat angelic, or druidic, someone very in tune with nature. She’d love to feed deer with you and relax in the forest! Or lay against a tree by your side, listening to you talk about various microorganisms for hours at a time.

Daniela:

Practically tackles you when she finds out/connects the dots. This is just like one of her romance novels, where a lonely (attractive as fuck) immortal spends years in isolation before finally meeting the love of their life, who they get to spend the rest of eternity with. Absolutely ecstatic about the whole situation. Won’t stop kissing you and pulling you close, rambling about how great it’s gonna be to spend your lives together. Honestly? Kind of overwhelming. You might have to remind her a few times that you don’t have to rush into things, considering you have all the time in the world.

Introduces you to people as her “super cool/rad immortal life partner”. Genuinely cannot bring herself to not brag about you. If her sisters haven’t found someone like you yet, you can bet that Daniela will tease them about it all the time (much to their annoyance). If Momma Alcina doesn’t, though? Dani will keep her thoughts to herself, thank you very much (being grounded at her age does not impress the s/o).

Tries not to show it, but she’s actually very nervous. You’re immortal! You’ve probably seen a lot of shit (she certainly has)! Worries about keeping you interested in her, though she would never admit it. This tends to lead to her performing ridiculous acts to showcase her affection, regardless of the cost or, like, whether or not you’d even enjoy whatever she has planned. In order to counter her anxiety, you’ll want to reassure her whenever you can, and give her plenty of “I love you”s.

Strikes a decent balance between Cassandra’s nonchalant attitude and Bela’s protectiveness. Will defend you if you need it, playing up the romantic aspect, but also entirely willing to hide behind you in a scary situation.

Immortality Compatibility: Having probably read Twilight… Dani would date a werewolf, as long as they weren’t the smelly kind. Also interested in a sort of “magical”/elemental type, especially if their powers are influenced by emotions. In other words, if someone flirts with her in front of you, and your response is to subconsciously light your hands/the other person on fire? She thinks that’s hot, pun intended.

Alcina:

“Oh? Interesting,” she’d say, smiling softly (and trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face). Similarly to Cassandra, she’d try to play it off, not wanting to seem too excited. And, well, she’s not as excited as any of her daughters are. After all, she’s had more time than them to “get used” to the idea of outliving any potential romantic interests. So, she’s not exactly desperate for a relationship, even with someone she could spend an eternity with.

That being said, if she is romantically interested in them, she’s very relieved. Outliving a loved one can be incredibly traumatizing (fuck you c*pcom, you know what you did), and knowing that you’re safe (or at least safer than most) brings her no small amount of comfort.

Also, just glad to have another person close to her age around. Her daughters are somewhat stuck as young adults, and I imagine Alcina would want someone who gained immortality a little later in life, such as herself, as opposed to, ya know, reminding her of her children. That probably goes without saying. Hopefully.

More so than her daughters, Alcina would change her level of protectiveness depending on her s/o’s power level. If you’re a shapeshifter who can also turn into a big ass dragon? Then she’s not going to coddle you. If you’re immortal but still vulnerable, then she’s going to do her best to keep you safe, even going so far as to enlist the assistance of her daughters. “If you see a single Maiden growing mistletoe, or bringing some in from the village, let me know immediately,” or something like that, depending on your weakness.

Immortality Compatibility: Definitely would want someone in a situation similar to herself, having once been truly human, only to be “elevated” by something. Bonus points if you’re another disciple of Miranda, double bonus points if Miranda specifically “made” you to be Alcina’s boo/honey/darling/dear.

Bonus! Mother Miranda:

Oh god finally someone who won’t leave her (can’t leave her). No one can take you away from her, and that’s a relief that she’s been craving for over a century. Even if romance isn’t high on her priority list, she welcomes it with open arms, glad to have someone by her side through all of life’s chaos.

Admittedly slow to trust at first, probably just using you as a tool at first. But prove yourself enough, show that your devotion is more than just misdirected self-interest, and she’ll start to warm up to you. Forming a real relationship would likely take a couple decades, similar to with Bela. Once you are together, however, the two of you are inseparable in all matters.

You’d be her #1 follower, most trusted adviser, and the only person allowed to understand 100% of her thoughts and motives. While Miranda wouldn’t allow you to be seen as the same level as her (sorry), you’d still be a legend among the villagers. To them, you’re Mother Miranda’s champion, the epitome of a devoted follower that they all aspire to emulate. Not that they know the two of you are a couple, though.

Immortality Compatibility: No gimmicks, no cheap tricks, she wants (and respects) a fellow scientist, someone who clawed their way through adversity and forged themselves into something indestructible. Double the interest if you did so for a similar cause to her own, as she would appreciate your ability to relate to her suffering.

Bonus! Donna:

Someone to play with! FOREVER! No more losing people she cares about, no more accidentally breaking people, no more people scrambling to leave. Now that she has you, she can finally spend some quality time with another (living?) person. Honestly her dolls (or at least Angie) are just as excited as she is. Regardless of her relations with the other three Lords, Donna much prefers the company of a lover.

For real though she’s shy as hell and you might not even realize who’s pulling the strings until you’ve been in her house for over a year. She’d probably use her powers to trap you inside, at least at first, though they’d be nice hallucinations. You’d have to treat the dolls nicely, especially Angie, before she’d let you interact with her.

Eventually you’d be allowed to leave, and you’d be given a key to return whenever you wanted to. Assuming that you do, in fact, come back, the two of you would have a very, very slow romance, if only because of Donna’s anxiety. Hand holding makes both of your faces turn beet red, seriously.

Immortality Compatibility: *chanting* GHOST GIRLFRIEND GHOST GIRLFRIEND POLTERGEIST PARTNER POLTERGEIST PARTNER WOOHOO! Something with a flexible, only-sometimes-tangible form, who absolutely could have left at any time but didn’t because they wanted to stay.

[supercorpkid]

Rager Teenager.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Kelly Olsen x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 2900.

Alex doesn’t even look shocked when she sees you landing in her backyard, dropping a bag of clothes loudly on the ground.

“Hey.” You greet her with a smile, looking at her standing in the doorway with a glass of wine in her hands.

“Running away, kiddo?” She points at the bag, but she means it like a joke. Let’s just say you were quite generous with the amount of clothes you packed. You could be leaving the house for a month, for what it’s worth. Yet, no one would actually think that you are running away from home.

“Yep.” You shrug it off. Her eyebrows are pinched together immediately. “Can I stay?”

Alex moves away from the door, giving you space to walk in. “Should I call your moms to let them know or-?”

“Nah, they’re aware.” You pick up your bag and make your way inside, passing her on the way in. “Hi, aunt Kelly. Where’s Jamie?”

“Oh, hi.” Kelly smiles at you from her wine glass. She then acknowledges the bag, pointing at it with her face. “Is that some big creation or something fun for you two to do?”

“Actually, just my clothes. I’m moving in.” You smile making your way to the stairs. “Indefinitely.”

“Oh. Sounds fun.” Kelly gives you two thumbs up, not looking as amused as she made it sound. “Your cousin is upstairs.”

“Cool. Thanks for letting me stay.” You say, making your way to Jamie’s bedroom to surprise her.

You are aware they didn’t exactly let you stay. Especially not ‘indefinitely’. But you know they would never say no to you, just like your moms would never say no to Jamie if she wanted to stay at your house. You also know that Alex is probably calling Kara right now, and that at some point tonight Kelly will try to assess how you’re feeling, claiming this is an open safe space.

It’s annoying that they’ll treat you like you’re the one that needs to talk about your feelings and understand them. You do understand what you’re feeling. You’re feeling like they think you should be ok with the fact that you don’t need their attention anymore. And of course you don’t need it. But you want it.

Your moms have always been your best friend. You tell them everything and you like that. You like the fact that you don’t have to be rebellious to get their attention, because you are the most important person in their lives, and you liked that feeling.

But well, now things are different. Maybe you need to change a little. Make a little trouble. Be a rebel rascal. A wild child. A rager teenager.

“Hey!” You drop your bag in a loud thud on the floor, making Jamie look up from her phone.

“I see you finally brought back all the things you borrowed from me.” She points at the bag with her eyes, and you roll yours in response.

“You wish.” You throw yourself on her bed, in front of her. “I’m actually moving in.”

“You don’t say.” She throws her phone to the side, looking at you with curiosity in her eyes. “Well, go on. Let’s hear it.”

You tell her everything and Jamie looks amused that the first time you’re throwing a tantrum is over something so dumb as not getting their attention. Says the girl who doesn’t pick up her phone at eight -not even in a life-threatening situation- because that’s her catch up time with her moms.

“So your big rebellious act is coming to my house?” You nod. “I would’ve thought staying with, I don’t know, Lillian Luthor would be far more dramatic.”

“Should I?” You ask out loud, but you’re actually talking to yourself. “No, right? No. That’s insane.” Is it? Yes, yes it is. “But I do have another rebellious idea in my baggage.”

Jamie zeroes in the bag you brought in. Sure the bag is big, but it doesn’t fit what you’re thinking.

“Not my actual bag.” You roll your eyes. “I meant my emotional baggage.”

“Oh, that’s a lot bigger than that one.” She agrees with her head, making her point. You look at the enormous bag on the floor of her bedroom.

“No, it’s not.”

“Hey, remember that time you almost died?”

“Which one?” You ask and she gives you a satisfied grin, like she is saying ‘touché’. Yeah, you guess she has a point.

“ANYWAYS!” You say, trying to ignore her. “Movies!”

See, it was kind of obvious that you wouldn’t be good at being rebellious. You never had to do this before. You’ve only seen it in movies. Ok, so let’s try what movies did. In Harry Potter, Hermione's big rebellious act was erasing her parents' mind. Huh. That you have the means to do. But no, that’s insane. Right? Right! Making your moms forget you is insane! Maybe you should think of rom-coms or teen movies. Hm, in ‘Mean Girls’ Cady throws a party when they’re parents aren’t in the house and dresses slutty or whatever. You can’t pull any of this off. Who would come to your party? How would you kick your moms out of the house? And you would rather die than dress slutty.

“Movies.” Jamie repeats, incredulous. “You know, for a genius you really lack basic information at times.” She says making you gruff. “You want to be rebellious? Steal Lena’s BMW, sneak out, go to a party, get drunk-”

“I can’t exactly get drunk unless it is alien alcohol.” You add.

“Steal alien alcohol.” She adds to the list, a little disgruntled that you made her lose her train of thought. “Make me go with you.”

“You’re literally giving me the idea.”

“Hmm, yes. Because I’m dying to go to this party Maya told me about, but I need plausible deniability. As in-”

“If your moms ask, it was all my fault?” You ask with an eyebrow raise and she agrees with her head. “Ok, fine. I’ll take the blame. But I think we can be more rebellious than that.” You give her a wicked smile. “Can you imagine how crazy it would be if-” You take off your glasses. “She went to a party?”

“WHAT!” Jamie sits straighter in bed looking equally terrified and excited. “No! You can’t have Superkid go to a party! She is a SUPER! Kara would absolutely kill you.”

“What’s the point of only pissing off Lena? I do that way too much already.” You throw yourself back in bed, thinking about it. “Besides, no one wants a Luthor in their party. Now, who’s going to say no to Superkid?”

“Ok, wait a minute. I-I-” You can tell you have made Jamie really confused when you leave her speechless. “Superkid doesn’t even exist anymore, and you want to bring her back just so you can go to a party?”

“Superkid doesn’t-'' You laugh, then furrow your brows. Holy shit, people still think you’re not supering anymore. “Oh, yeah, about that. I’ve been supering in secret ever since I came back from that other reality.”

“You-” Jamie’s mouth comically open wide like a cartoon character. “But-You-And then-I don’t get it.”

“See? That’s why I’ve been doing it in secret.”

Because how do you do it? How do you go back to being a superhero when you made such a big deal about not ever wanting to be a superhero ever again in your life? How do you unsay it?

Should you just come back home and be like ‘oh yeah, by the way, Superkid exists again, and you have to go back to worrying about me, Lena. And yes, Kara, you might have to go to outer space save me again a couple of times. No biggy. Good night!’

So you don't, right? You sneak in in secret instead. Pray you don't die on the job. Pray they don't find out. And mostly, you pray that you're doing the correct thing, because it's the righteous thing to do and not because you selfishly want that powerful feeling you had before.

“So for weeks you’ve been going around National City saving people and no one knew?” You nod. She needs to make sure. Jamie slaps your arm like you could feel pain. “You didn’t even tell me?”

“I’m telling you right now. Before anyone else.” She still rolls her eyes at you. “Come on, it’s a great way for Superkid to do her comeback. At a party, dancing with stupid teens.” Jamie looks unconvinced. “We can still take Lena’s car.”

“Why would we need it? You can just fly us there.”

“Yeah, I know. But it will piss off Lena.” You give her another wicked grin. “I’ll let you drive.”

“Yeah, ok, cool.”

Simple as that.

So it’s Friday night, Jamie agrees she will go to the party with Maya, and you told your girlfriend you were grounded. Yes, it’s a lie. But barely. You’re sure you’ll be grounded right after this, anyways.

It’s before midnight when both of your aunts say goodnight and go to bed. Kelly makes sure she schedules a ‘talking about your feelings’ session right on Saturday morning with you, before she leaves, though. Ugh, this won’t be fun.

You give them some time, then use your super hearing to make sure they are asleep, before you fly out the window and look for Lena. Like you suspected it’s Friday night and she’s made it back to L Corp, after you left home. Rao, you’re so mad.

You fly home and check for Kara’s presence. All clear. Must be tailing Arnold McKenan or running away from her problems. For someone so brave, you can’t believe how much of a coward she is when it comes to Lena. Rao, you’re raging.

You grab Lena’s car keys, your supersuit in their closet, and then pick the car up and drop off in front of Jamie. You love Jamie, and you know she drives better than you do, but still you fly behind her car the entire time to make sure she is safe. Damn the car, if it was for you, you would toss it in the ocean, it’s Jamie you care about.

“Holy!” Maya says, when she slides in the car. “That’s-wow! Did you steal this?”

“For sure.” Jamie smiles and drives off, leaving nothing but tire marks behind.

“Is that why Superkid is following us?” Maya asks, and you smile to yourself.

“Nah. She was saving a kitten and I asked if she wanted to come to a party. Now, she’s following the car.”

“WHAT!” Maya yells, sounding excited. “You’re joking! We’re going to a party with Superkid?” She gets nothing but a nod. “Holy fucking shit! I can’t believe my girlfriend won’t be there. Maybe we could convince her to sneak out?”

“Please. Do you even know your girlfriend?” You hear Jamie’s response. “She would never.” You scoff. “Besides, I don’t want to be third-wheeling all night. You guys are awfully handsy.”

“Yeah, well. She’s hot.” Maya says, making you smile even more. “Here. We’re here.” And so Jamie parks.

“Hi!” You open the car’s door to Maya, giving you her hand so she can exit the car. “I’m Superkid.”

“Of course you are.” She manages to say, looking red as a tomato.

“Your friend Jamie said it was ok if I came. I hope I’m not intruding on anything.”

“NO! No! Not at all. You’re more than welcomed. I mean, it’s not my party, but I’m guessing you will be more than welcome. I mean, who wouldn’t want Superkid in their party, right? So yeah you’re welcome! Anyways, you cool? I’m cool.” She rambles, making you and Jamie share a look. “Oof, I’m sweating.”

“Don’t be nervous.” You put your hand on her shoulder for a light squeeze. “I’m just a normal teen.”

She wheezes out a laugh. “I don’t know about normal.”

“More than you think. Shall we?” You point inside the house, and she agrees with her head. They fall a little behind you, and you can hear Maya whispering.

“Doesn’t she look awfully familiar?”

“Haven’t you met her before a few times?” Jamie saves you and you smile when Maya agrees, and lets it go.

Let’s just say going to a party as Superkid is on the top of the best ideas you’ve ever had. Superkid is a big hit. There’s even a line so people can take pictures with you. And they all love you. You’ve never felt so loved in your life. This was exactly what you needed.

It sucks that alcohol does literally nothing to you, but you still enjoy watching Jamie and Maya getting louder and flushed and talking nonsense to you all night. So this is what it's like to be a normal teenage girl? You’ll take it.

It is also very exciting that Maya can’t ever stop bringing your name up. The real you. Not Superkid. Not you in this shiny suit. The nerdy you that is apparently home, texting her so she can enjoy the party.

The night goes on and you don’t think once about Lena in her stupid office, doing her dreary paperwork, acting like that fucking company is more important than your family’s existence. You also don’t think about Kara in that stupid DEO, doing her dreary patrol, acting like the fucking world is more important than your family’s wellbeing. Or maybe you thought about it once or twice. But not as much as you would if you were home alone waiting for them. But hey, you shouldn’t be thinking about them! They sure as hell aren’t thinking about you right now.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Jamie says looking at her phone. “It’s mami! She probably noticed I’m not in my bedroom.”

“It’s ok. Let me see that.” You grab her phone. “I’ll take this up in the sky, so she doesn’t hear all the noise.”

“You’re going to answer her phone?” Maya asks, and you realize that it doesn’t make a lot of sense for you to be answering the phone of some girl you just met. Damn! Maya still makes sense even with all the alcohol.

“Oh. Um. I’m really good at impressions!” You say with a smile. But you can’t actually impersonate Jamie. You put both hands on your waist and look up. “Hope, help, and compassion for all.” Then you smile. “That was Supergirl.”

“It was perfect.” She says, and now the alcohol is probably doing the effect again.

“Ok! Gotta go!” You fly up and notice that a bunch camera flashes follow you. Feels good to be loved. “Heeeey auntie.”

“Where the hell are the two of you?” Kelly yells through her phone and you actually have to take it off your ear, because it’s too loud.

“Oh!” Think of something, come on. “We’re at-at the Fortress. I brought Jamie to help me look for this thing-”

“And none of you thought it was a good idea to let us know that? We were here thinking she was kidnapped!”

“By whom?”

“Well, I don’t know. It’s a new threat every day in this town! A few weeks ago you literally vanished from your bedroom one night!” Oh, that. What a cool funny story, that no one thinks is cool nor fun, except you. Kelly exhales. “Why didn’t she pick up the phone herself?”

“Oh! I think she got lost in one of the rooms.” You hate that you’re lying so much. You never once lied to Kelly before. What if she just knows? “Don’t worry, auntie. We’re safe, and will be back home in bed soon, ok? Go to bed, everything is ok. Goodnight!”

You hang up before she answers. Way to be suspicious. You come back to the party and see Jamie hyperventilating afraid of the conversation you just had.

“We should go.”

“Relax, I handled it.” You pick up another jello shot, putting on Jamie’s hand. “Chill, I’ve got this. No one will ever know.”

And when you make it back home and park Lena’s car exactly like it was parked -in all honesty Jamie couldn’t parallel park so you picked it up and put it in its place-, you think no one will ever know. And when you and Jamie sneak in her bedroom and go straight to bed, and none of her moms wake up, you are sure no one will ever know.

Wouldn’t it be nice if that was actually the case? But when you wake up the next morning… Oh, crap. Oh, shit. Oh, no. What are Kara and Lena doing here?

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.

❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜

❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜

❛ Pardon my tits. ❜

❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜

❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜

❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜

❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜

❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜

❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜

❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜

❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜

❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜

❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜

❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜

❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜

❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜

❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜

❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜

❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜

❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜

❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜

❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜

❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜

❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜

❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜

❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜

❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜

❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜

❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜

❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜

❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜

❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜

❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜

❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜

❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜

❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜

❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜

❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜

❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜

❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜

❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜

❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜

❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜

❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜

❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜

❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜

❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜

❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜

❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜

❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜

❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜

❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜

❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜

❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜

❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜

❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜

❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜

❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜

❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜

❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜

❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜

❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜

❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜

❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜

❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜

❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜

❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜

❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜

❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜

❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜

❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜

❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜

❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜

❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜

❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜

❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜

❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜

❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜

❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜

❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜

❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜

❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜

❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜

❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜

❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜

❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜

❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜

❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜

❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜

❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜

❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜

❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜

❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜

❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜

❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜

❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜

❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜

❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜

❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜

❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜

❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜

❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜

❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜

❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜

❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜

❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜

❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜

❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜

❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜

❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜

❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜

❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜

❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜

❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜

❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜

❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜

❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜

❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜

❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜

❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜

❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜