#what is dark within me
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nothing more fun than taking an OC and sticking them in as many video games as you can
#she is cringe she is fail she is my most ultimate blorbo#the blorbo to end all blorbos#what is dark within me#for the animal crossing one sadly there are no religious paintings otherwise she would've posed next to that#she is functionally the eldest of seven and her next-oldest sibling is functionally 14 years younger than her#she is the cringe older sibling taken to the extreme#her hair is normally green i just translate it into different contexts depending on the Lore#which is why her hair is only green in animal crossing
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“I’ve always thought you look beautiful when covered in blood. It matches your hair,” Nicolas said. “Are you hitting on me now?” “Sure, if you’re open to it.” “The village is on fire, Nic.” “That’s never stopped us before.”
What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black.
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alright. that's it. technology has gone too far
#figmin xr#ar#augmented reality#vr#virtual reality#video#alternate caption: My Blue Toilet#i just got this build and needed somewhere dark to test it#brain is reeling thinking of what to do with this#entirely virtual shadow puppet shows#a ceiling covered in gently glowing stars#bioluminescence#shadowboxes lit from within#glowing mushrooms#magical runes#holy shit#holy shiiiitt#this might be the thing to get me out of my art block#anyways uh. enjoy toilet video LMAO
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"i can see it in his eyes" 🥰
#trigun#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#wolfwood#vash#my art#mine#deep in my trigun feels rn help#also sad commentary on my life and drawing speed that i'm actually amazed that this took me “only” 3ish weeks to finish#insert shrug emoji#anyways this line has been bouncing around in my head since i heard it#WHAT CAN U SEE IN HIS EYES VASH#HIS EYES THAT ARE COVERED BY DARK SUNGLASSES#honestly idk if this line or ww's “oh so you can smile like that” make me more head in hands#WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT WITHIN LIKE HOURS OF MEETING SOMEONE#no matter which version they r soulmates fr...
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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol#yamamoto takeshi#sawada tsunayoshi#i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense#also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition#it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most#which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027#and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying#like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way#also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference#and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark#because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive#and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong#but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3#anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence#even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it#it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point#and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3
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Dark Sonia's Monologue
"Hello again. We've met before.
You look different, I'm the same.
You've begun to know my face,
You already know my name.
I am the one who calls you,
Who says "come here, come home"
The voice that whispers from within
So you never feel alone.
I wait in all your doorways,
I watch you while you sleep.
I live right here inside you
Gnawing, growing, squirming deep.
I've taken the people you loved the most
One by one by one.
And I have come to take you next
Will you fight, evade me, run?
I am the weight that crushed your sister,
The guilt that carves you like a knife.
I am the fear that no one loves you,
The Creep that drank your family's life.
I am the dark that lives within you
As now at last you see -
I am the wound you've always carried,
You belong to me."
-Dark Sonia, Moonward Part 4 [x]
#yeah so this monologue lives rent free in my mind and I've listened or watched it every day this past week#Xen's writing and performance are *peak*. The cadence the whispery voice the sound effects#the rhymes - which could have been fun and jaunty but are truly ominous#I am the wound you've always carried....yeah ok ok#dark sonia doesnt rush. you already belong to her. she's...already won. she knows she'll see you again in the dark of the night#(but that's just her opinion right)#you and i will meet again but for now ill let you go#goodnight but not goodbye#Mother Trauma's protection feels like *belonging and acceptance*. yeah. that's what silences that voice within me. not much else does.#me when my trauma comes up: it's ok it's just Dark Sonia#it's also so realistic that Dark Sonia speaks through others - it's what we assume and project#even at his ickiest Tomasi would not say those things but Fiona *hears* them from him#midst podcast#moonward#moonward spoilers#moonward pt 4#scheduled
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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If I had a nickel for every time I had a blorbo from a D&D campaign who ended up having some sort of evil twin/persona type thing, I’d have 3 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it keeps happening
#all within the span of about a year too#this is such a specific character type and yet they always seem to enthrall me#legends of avantris#critical role#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#torbek#edge of midnight#jericho sticks#the mighty nein#mollymauk tealeaf#luna try not to adore the fucked up men challenge#(difficulty level: impossible)#actually idk why im surprised#i deadass had a ‘dark YouTubers’ phase when I was 12-16#(look up Darkiplier or Antisepticeye if you have no idea what I’m talking about#and if you do know what I’m talking about…I’m sorry)#not counting those tho bc they’re not from a D&D campaign
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Some very goofy BMB doodles
References under the cut:
#blind man's bluff#ladyredms#l4d2#bmb spoilers#phil trying to intimidate the group by telling them to shoot him but he just looks like that#and on my reread i had the image of the “yeah we gay” meme in my head when nick shot the hazmat zombie LMAOOO#i can't wait for nick to experience more of the beauty of reciprocated gay love#and finally a little doodle tribute to the bridge arc#honestly the bridge arc has the most satisfying and emotional payoff that I’ve EVER read in fiction#like I’m still in awe of it!!!! what a beautifully written and depressing and immensely cathartic arc!!!#and the way it sets up the potential for soooo much positive change even within all that darkness!!!#it seriously had me sobbing like a baby at some parts and made me fall in love with the characters all over again!!!#okay i need to stop blabbing about the bridge arc but I love it sooo much
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2009 British Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Rubens Barrichello)
#the commentators were like 'seb has a msg to jenson: im on your tail' SEBSON SEASON BABEYYYYY#i think i said last race something about what my inner monologue is like while watching jense wins is like#but just so you know the seb version of that is just me constantly saying 'junge junge junge!! jungeeeeee'#pretty happy with the coloring on these!!#im just really in love with the dark navy blue and red as a color duo(yes im a rbr stan)#not a very interesting race imo but seb was serving red bull golden boy realness!! He had almost a 20 sec gap to mark by the end#'THE HISTORY BOOK ON THE SHELF IS ALWAYS REPEATING ITSELFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF'#i love this little menace twink so much AAAAAAGHHHHHH#he and mark were pretty cute this time around which is nice#dw mark your win is right within your grasp just wait a little#and also rubens is the oldest on the grid atp so its very cute how affectionate he is w seb one of the youngest#mark webber#sebastian vettel#rubens barrichello#sv5#sebmark#martian#2009 british gp#2009 british grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#season: 2009
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this is strictly for my own research and visualization purposes, anyway, what the US supplies antarctic researchers for their stuff, as summarized by this stack exchange thread https://earthscience.stackexchange.com/questions/3065/what-do-the-researchers-in-antarctica-wear-if-they-must-go-outside-during-winter am on my phone on the bus so no fancy in-text links for u.
this is bc my universe's heaven is a polar desert and has a climate comparable to antarctica, and while angels are a little more tolerant of cold temperatures than humans they still need to dress warmly. that being said; i am using what researchers wear bc tourists tend to stay in the north of antarctica where it's warmer
1 GOR-TEX wind jacket
1 helly hansen rain jacket
1 polar fleece jacket
1 carhartt jacket
1 carhartt vest
1 "big red" parka
1 GOR-TEX bib coveralls
1 helly hansen rain pants
1 polar fleece pants (cozy)
1 carhartt bib overalls
gonna have to continue this bc the mobile app has an IMAGE LIMIT (bastards)
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“I’ll find you again, I swear. I’ll crawl through any hell to get to you. He could make me forget a thousand lives, and I would still find you.”
What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black.
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i just want y'all to know, if Cyprian has a million fans, i'm one of them. if Cyprian has one fan, then i'm that one. if Cyprian has no fans, that means i'm dead.
#Cyprian#Dark Rise#Dark Heir#tags by me#like yeah he definitely did what he's accused of#and it was a deeply shitty thing#but that doesn't make him stupid or irredeemable or a bad character#he's an EXCELLENT character and an excellent representation#of a good-hearted and intelligent person raised within a bigoted high control group#struggling (and yes currently failing) to break out of that conditioning and reckon with both the shattering of his entire worldview#and his own complicity in the group's crimes#which is already hard enough WITHOUT him also being a survivor of the genocide of that group#struggling to reconcile his love for and duty toward the community that was abruptly and brutally taken from him#with the fact of their culpability and violence against others#That Shit Ain't Easy Fam#throw stones at your own peril#and check your house for glass first
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. — he won’t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done today… Rowan didn’t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoA😭#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. — Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#— maybe that means there’s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves — even back then😭#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEART😭 and the the darkness back to the light — IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back then😭 and all those centuries before when he didn’t know why😭😭😭
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the vibes are so aegon.........
#「 𝓐. 」 moodboard — what is dark within me / illuminate.#he's so brat 🥰 ( literally. like he's an actual menace. )#do you see my vision.#and especially#modern verse aegon in his ' the fuckboy causing scandals in all the tabloids ' era. grandpa pays to hush the media lmao.
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