#what is dark within me
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turning your OCs into a marketable plushy can be something so special
#im love her#what is dark within me#there is a video out there of her being smacked against a wall with a very loud noise
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“I’ve always thought you look beautiful when covered in blood. It matches your hair,” Nicolas said. “Are you hitting on me now?” “Sure, if you’re open to it.” “The village is on fire, Nic.” “That’s never stopped us before.”
What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black.
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alright. that's it. technology has gone too far
#figmin xr#ar#augmented reality#vr#virtual reality#video#alternate caption: My Blue Toilet#i just got this build and needed somewhere dark to test it#brain is reeling thinking of what to do with this#entirely virtual shadow puppet shows#a ceiling covered in gently glowing stars#bioluminescence#shadowboxes lit from within#glowing mushrooms#magical runes#holy shit#holy shiiiitt#this might be the thing to get me out of my art block#anyways uh. enjoy toilet video LMAO
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"i can see it in his eyes" 🥰
#trigun#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#wolfwood#vash#my art#mine#deep in my trigun feels rn help#also sad commentary on my life and drawing speed that i'm actually amazed that this took me “only” 3ish weeks to finish#insert shrug emoji#anyways this line has been bouncing around in my head since i heard it#WHAT CAN U SEE IN HIS EYES VASH#HIS EYES THAT ARE COVERED BY DARK SUNGLASSES#honestly idk if this line or ww's “oh so you can smile like that” make me more head in hands#WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT WITHIN LIKE HOURS OF MEETING SOMEONE#no matter which version they r soulmates fr...
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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol#yamamoto takeshi#sawada tsunayoshi#i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense#also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition#it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most#which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027#and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying#like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way#also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference#and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark#because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive#and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong#but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3#anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence#even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it#it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point#and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3
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i think post-nigel alex would’ve loved pre-alex nigel
#they would’ve understood eachother#but honestly- post nigel alex would’ve loved any of the nigel’s#but i’m thinking mostly about nigel making friends with an alex who already understands what he wants from him and who also wants the same-#-things now#what an interesting dynamic. nigel who is still so innocent but alex who had already done all of those terrible things#nigel might’ve adored him so much more#or did most of his attachment to alex come from being able to corrupt him#idk. i think he took a shine to him because he recognized his own darkness within somebody else but that’s just me#like minds#nigel colbie#murderous intent#like minds 2006#alex forbes#alex forbes x nigel colbie#forbie#tom sturridge#eddie redmayne
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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If I had a nickel for every time I had a blorbo from a D&D campaign who ended up having some sort of evil twin/persona type thing, I’d have 3 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it keeps happening
#all within the span of about a year too#this is such a specific character type and yet they always seem to enthrall me#legends of avantris#critical role#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#torbek#edge of midnight#jericho sticks#the mighty nein#mollymauk tealeaf#luna try not to adore the fucked up men challenge#(difficulty level: impossible)#actually idk why im surprised#i deadass had a ‘dark YouTubers’ phase when I was 12-16#(look up Darkiplier or Antisepticeye if you have no idea what I’m talking about#and if you do know what I’m talking about…I’m sorry)#not counting those tho bc they’re not from a D&D campaign
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Some very goofy BMB doodles
References under the cut:
#blind man's bluff#ladyredms#l4d2#bmb spoilers#phil trying to intimidate the group by telling them to shoot him but he just looks like that#and on my reread i had the image of the “yeah we gay” meme in my head when nick shot the hazmat zombie LMAOOO#i can't wait for nick to experience more of the beauty of reciprocated gay love#and finally a little doodle tribute to the bridge arc#honestly the bridge arc has the most satisfying and emotional payoff that I’ve EVER read in fiction#like I’m still in awe of it!!!! what a beautifully written and depressing and immensely cathartic arc!!!#and the way it sets up the potential for soooo much positive change even within all that darkness!!!#it seriously had me sobbing like a baby at some parts and made me fall in love with the characters all over again!!!#okay i need to stop blabbing about the bridge arc but I love it sooo much
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She was a fairy 🧚♀️ (who could only fly in hot air balloons)
#in case you were wondering what I've been doing for the past three days#gambling in the barbie universe#In all of my many MANY years of chasing after the unmatchable high of “Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus” 2005 game#THIS GODDAMN GACHA SOMEHOW GETS THE CLOSEST AND I'M NOT EVEN BEING FUNNY#There is no combat you one shot everything with one button. There aren't even damage numbers it's a literal ctrl + alt + delete magi button#You're that op#which is very barbie style#and you get a shit ton of clothes options???? Like I genuinely stop midquest to change my outfit because it's fun and whimsical and#Don't get me started on the details on the clothes holy shit#YOU SEE THE GLITTER LINES. It's unimaginably detailed and there are various kinds of fabrics that behave and look differently#and the fact they actually let you choose dark skintones this time around made me happy#You catch bugs#You give little floofy dogs baths#You brush horses#You ride a beautiful bicycle around#you solve puzzles#you take pictures#you explore and find chests in castles#you can't fly but you can float like a majestic jellyfish#oh and for gacha nerds. 5 stars are guaranteed within 20 pulls. Yes you heard me right#What's the catch? It's that the gacha banner has aroun 11 units that are 5 stars#so it kinda cycles around to being a guaranteed “full” 5 stars set every 100 pulls#but it's always guaranteed to be the limited 5 star. there are no standards in the limited banner#♧other fandoms#♧infinity nikki
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2009 British Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Rubens Barrichello)
#the commentators were like 'seb has a msg to jenson: im on your tail' SEBSON SEASON BABEYYYYY#i think i said last race something about what my inner monologue is like while watching jense wins is like#but just so you know the seb version of that is just me constantly saying 'junge junge junge!! jungeeeeee'#pretty happy with the coloring on these!!#im just really in love with the dark navy blue and red as a color duo(yes im a rbr stan)#not a very interesting race imo but seb was serving red bull golden boy realness!! He had almost a 20 sec gap to mark by the end#'THE HISTORY BOOK ON THE SHELF IS ALWAYS REPEATING ITSELFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF'#i love this little menace twink so much AAAAAAGHHHHHH#he and mark were pretty cute this time around which is nice#dw mark your win is right within your grasp just wait a little#and also rubens is the oldest on the grid atp so its very cute how affectionate he is w seb one of the youngest#mark webber#sebastian vettel#rubens barrichello#sv5#sebmark#martian#2009 british gp#2009 british grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#season: 2009
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nothing more fun than taking an OC and sticking them in as many video games as you can
#she is cringe she is fail she is my most ultimate blorbo#the blorbo to end all blorbos#what is dark within me#for the animal crossing one sadly there are no religious paintings otherwise she would've posed next to that#she is functionally the eldest of seven and her next-oldest sibling is functionally 14 years younger than her#she is the cringe older sibling taken to the extreme#her hair is normally green i just translate it into different contexts depending on the Lore#which is why her hair is only green in animal crossing
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“I’ll find you again, I swear. I’ll crawl through any hell to get to you. He could make me forget a thousand lives, and I would still find you.”
What is Dark Within Me by L.B. Black.
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99 - Butterfly
Your gaze sticks me in place, a pretty exhibit for Your delection, printed in indelible ink upon the pages of Your favourite book. What delight You must take in my jester's dance, though we already know all the steps - each and every time, a flawless performance; those loving strings won't ever let me put a foot wrong.
With skillful fingers You force my back to the story, press me against the paper like a pretty flower You picked just that morning. Do You like the way I struggle, as I squirm and sway beneath the microscope of Your inquisitive gaze? Do You see my wings flutter against the parchment, powerless beneath the pins You pierced me with? Such a pretty, pitiful prince I must seem to You, a ruler ruled over by such playful fates.
In Your eyes I spy the gleam of a jeweler's lens, ready to cut me to Your preference; planing and shaping, grinding and refining, polishing my image to a most lustrous hue. Now, take me between Your forceps and set me into Your gilded ring; Your prized possession, Your magnum opus, a glittering testament to Your cruel love for me.
Watch me shine just for You, my Angel, that You may find exactly what You're looking for in me.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The Dark Menagerie No. 99
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#writing#patchworkwrites#fanfiction#deltarune#ralsei#deltarune player#metafiction#drabble#short fiction#love#obsession#possessiveness#the dark menagerie#a commentary on fans who obsessively pore over and analyze one character in particular#(i.e. me with Ralsei)#I called this one “Butterfly” because from our perspective that's exactly what these characters are#butterflies pinned to a corkboard#unable to change beyond what the narrative allows#and within that framework we dissect and we devour them over and again#and what we cannot infer from that we make up whole-cloth#What would these characters think if they could see us obsess over them?#...of course Ralsei's case is somewhat unique in that he might very well be aware of us#I don't think it's entirely beyond the realm of possibility that he would rather enjoy the attention...#...but does that make it okay?#Hrm... I appear to have gone cross-eyed...
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how the fuck have i almost surpassed my north dakota longfic with a fic that is literally just. trying to get charlie and dennis to bang
#I SAY TRYING BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVENT.#dennis is currently like 🤔 how can we do this without destroying my back.#*shakes season 16 charden by the shoulders* OLD MEN.#ada speaks#oh i see. you cant fuck because. *checks notes* its too dark. well sure. give me a couple hundred more words to fix that.#well go on-- oh for FUCKS sake what is it now#unending. they are like magnets repelling each other and its so funny to watch#if it was up to charlie they'd be fucking raw in some dirty alleyway#but dennis is so.#lmao.#im not even joking dennis has endlessly cockblocked himself and its not even within my control#im making light of this for comedic effect but genuinely harrowing to be like my god this man is a living minefield#im sorry about your complex ass trauma dennis im also sorry that you have decided to take on charlie's too#u don't have to do that. like nobody asked u to#ohhh did somebody infantilize the forty seven year old man? have you tried not fucking doing that perhaps#guy who *whack whack whack whack* needs to sTOP ITTT *SMACK SMACK*#GUY WHO NEEDS TO RESPECT CHARLIE AS AN ADULT *BAM* WHO CAN MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS *SMACK SLAP SLAP* AND IS CAPABLE OF THINKING FOR HIMSELF#incoherent im so sorry#this happens every time i post about my fics and then i continue to hoard them instead of sharing with the class
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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