#i think my ideal relationship for them is that they have a disastrous week of secret dating when they’re 15 that they never speak of again

[eliotquillon]

i like the idea of shelby/otto for a lot of reasons (they’re hypercompetitive prodigies with similar senses of humour) but the main one is that i do think they just Get each other in a way the other core four pairings don’t. they’re selfish and ambitious and covetous and sometimes mean and so, so desperate to pretend that they don’t care what anyone else thinks of them; nero makes a point of asking otto what he really has to go back to in book 1, but the same applies to shelby. everything she has she’s built for herself. everything otto has he’s had to claw away from that unshakable truth that he was born with his fate already decided. they would never, ever last long term because i think they’d turn on each other in order to protect themselves, but equally i think they would always regret not giving things a go at least once. loving each other would never be enough. they’d always try too hard to hate each other.

[hunny-beann]

Hi! I love love love your first fic and your portrayal of dream!

Could I request two prompts from your hurt/comfort prompts? Specifically number 11 and number 52?

No Greater Patience

Dream of the Endless x f!Reader

Note: Hi anon! tysm for the request, I hope you enjoy the fic!

synopsis:

Prior to his century long captivity, Morpheus and his wife have an argument so disastrous that even after regaining his freedom over one hundred years later, he still questions whether or not he has the right to seek her out.

And yet, the yearning of an Endless is not so easily ignored by the mind, and he soon finds that regardless of his conscious thoughts, all roads lead back to her.

To you.

Prompts:

(hurt/comfort list here)

#11: Please don’t go. #52: I kept this for you while you were away // It’s been two years // I know

Warnings: A once unhappy marriage(?), is Dream himself a warning? Because he still should be.

Word Count: 4,014

Having the opportunity to visit with Death again had been nice.

Far nicer in fact, than the Lord of Dreams would ever willingly admit aloud.

She had always understood him in a way that none of his other siblings ever seemed to manage, and she was far too aware of his flaws and his past to allow him to continue his typical path of avoidance without a bit of a challenge.

Of course, there had been many a time where that had been less than ideal, particularly when Dream had little interest in dealing with those things, big and large, that always seemed to haunt him so.

Still, it was nice to be reminded of the topics and people that he had neglected to consider throughout his time held captive, like Hob Gadling for example, who Dream was now almost eagerly planning to visit at his earliest convenience.

And perhaps he would have headed off sooner, had it not been for Death's one lingering question regarding her brother's personal relationships...

"Dream?"

She had asked just after he had stepped away upon making his intentions of setting off to visit Hob clear.

Slowly, hesitantly, the individual in question turned to face his sister in response, one brow cocked in question to make up for his persistent silence.

Death sighed a bit, almost looking a little unsure before she finally continued upon realizing how little time she truly had for this particular conversation.

She had a rather important deadline to make, after all.

"Have you seen her?"

She asked gently, a sort of pity in her gaze that immediately made the being standing in front of her bristle in response, forcing down the slowly increasing feeling of anger within him as he closed his eyes and took a single deep breath before opening them once more to find her still standing there, waiting.

He shook his head.

"No. Our last conversation was... less than amicable, and was several weeks prior to my disappearance."

Death took a few steps closer, and placed a hand upon Dream's shoulder, watching him fight off the urge to step away, clearly trying his best not to end their interaction on a negative note.

"Then maybe you should consider seeing her as well. Last we spoke she wanted to ask about you, I could feel it, I just didn't want to push-"

"Sister."

Dream interrupted her, his voice not unkind, but still rather stern, at least as much so as politeness would allow.

"She made it quite clear during our last conversation how little interest she had in seeing me again. I would not think it appropriate for me to seek her out in spite of that."

Death sighed, but removed her hand from her brother's shoulder, watching as he nodded toward her in farewell before beginning to move away once more.

Still, no matter how gently she had attempted to address the tense topic, Death was still an older sister, and how could she possibly call herself by such a title if she didn't do some teasing from time to time?

"You cannot avoid the wife forever, dear brother! Do not forget, you are bound to her until I come to collect!"

Dream rolled his eyes, and though Death could not see that particular movement, she could see the way that his shoulders shifted slightly as he chuckled to himself, his head shaking from side to side as he walked off to attend to his own personal duties.

Except several hours and a visit with Hob later, he found that he could do no such thing, as his mind was far too wrapped up with thoughts of his wife.

Thoughts of you.

He had always loved you after all, hadn't he?

You, a deity worshiped into existence by humans, meant to embody nourishment and nurturing, as that found in the relationship between a mother and child, or an owner and their pet.

You were unending and fierce loyalty, the fire in the pit of the stomach, and the gentle hand clutching that of a child during an afternoon walk in the woods, setting them on the right path while never disallowing an opportunity for adventure.

You were beautiful.

And so very deserving of a type of love that Dream had simply been unable to give you.

Sure, he had always been polite, and at times even kind, but considerate was not an adjective that any would have used to describe him, nor his relationship that he shared with you.

Still, you had found it within yourself to love him anyway.

He was cold, calculating, blunt, quiet, and scrutinizing. Dream saw all, every flaw and every weakness, and though it was a rarity that he would point them out aloud without prompting, it was difficult to know just how much he truly saw whenever he looked at you.

That said, none of that had ever seemed to bother you beyond what you could manage.

You enjoyed his company, particularly back when the Dreaming had been slightly less complex, and he had been able to provide you with conversations and time, both things that he would eventually cease to have very much of as the waking world began to shift and change, thus requiring the evolution of the Dreaming as well.

More people meant more dreaming, and more dreaming meant more of the Dream Lord's attention.

And what he had neglected to realize at the time, was that you were the very first thing to lose his affections, his thoughts, and his actions.

It was as if you had always been expendable without ever truly knowing it until he was long gone, a slight indent in the bed that was only ever filled after you went to sleep and before you woke up, leaving you the possessor of both of your rings as day after day he forgot his on the bedside table until it was nothing more than a habit long forgotten.

Where you had once been the love of The Dream Lord, it now appeared that you were his wife in name and nothing more, and though it stung, you had stuck to your duties for far longer than Dream ever would have allowed you to now.

You had always deserved better, even before the being had shifted his attention's elsewhere, and even if he had not known that then, he could so clearly understand it now.

You had never given up on him, not even when nearly all of your interactions seemed to end in dismissals on his part, or arguments due to his seemingly constant exasperation in general. You wanted your husband back, but he wanted to be the Dream Lord far more than he ever wanted to be a husband at that time.

And maybe he had felt that way, sure, but he never should have said it, at least not in the way that he did.

Because he had seen the way that your face fell and your eyes grew teary. Of course he had, he saw all.

But in spite of that fact, he did not go after you when you rushed off to be alone for the one thousandth time.

And the next time that he saw you, you had approached him at his throne in the evening, and quietly, meekly, in a voice he had never heard you use before, asked for a divorce.

You had looked defeated in a way that Dream had found himself surprised by, eyes shadowed, gaze cast downward, and skin slightly paler than usual in spite of how impossible it would be for you to have taken ill due to your godly status.

And any husband, or at least any good one, would have asked you what was wrong, or what had driven you to wanting to leave so suddenly.

But Dream had not been a good husband, so he had simply grown frustrated with you.

He had accused you of being attention seeking for your "childish behaviors", called your attempts at appealing to his emotions laughable, and had all but sneered in the face of your desires.

You were, after all, the Lady of Dreams, everyone knew you as such, and the idea that you could abandon such a title? It was nearly as unthinkable as him leaving his.

His creations, nightmares and dreams alike, adored you, his siblings, (or rather those of whom that cared), seemed to enjoy or at least tolerate your presence when necessary, and most importantly of all, the Dream Lord could not imagine a world within which you were no longer his wife.

It had been centuries since your marriage, and over a thousand years of knowing you prior to that, after all.

It was almost as if he thought of you as his after all of the time of you living within his shadow as nothing more than a figurehead, the wife of a powerful being who was seldom paid any attention to by the very "man" that she had married.

But to Dream's surprise, if your actions had been for attention, you were all too keen on taking things even further, because when he made these accusations in his usual uncaring and borderline insulting tone, you had shouted at him for the very first time that he could recollect.

"It hurts!"

You had cried, eyes brimming with unexpected tears of both anger and sadness,

"It hurts to know that you see me each day without ever truly seeing me, that you call me your wife while scarcely knowing who I am anymore. If me donning the title of Lady of Dreams is so important to you Lord Morpheus, then fine, call me what you will, but know that I do not consider myself your spouse anymore, and have no intentions of staying here in this suffocating realm with you any longer."

And with that, you had gone, and The Lord of Dreams had not seen you since.

Though he had thought about you plenty, as unwilling as he was to admit it.

Your words had gotten to him, though most primarily when he had been trapped for so very long, forced to consider his past actions and mull over all that he had endured throughout the passage of time in spite of how little it was meant to impact him.

You were his wife still, sure, but now only in name, and over a century had passed since he had last heard your voice or seen your face.

Were you still worshiped as you had once been? Did his nightmares and his dreams know where you were? Had you thought of him or thought to visit the Dreaming in his absence? Had you even known that he had vanished in the manner that he did?

All of these questions coursed through his mind, and thoughtlessly, without even realizing it, he brought himself back to where he subconsciously knew that you would be.

Your home.

Nestled deep within the woods of the waking world, in a rural town within a country rather sparsely inhabited, you still resided, unsurprisingly, to this day, and as Dream approached your door for the first time in centuries, he stopped himself before he could raise a fist to knock on the sturdy old wood.

What was he doing here, bothering you after so very long of giving you the space that you so desired?

Had he not made a promise to himself that he would leave you be now that he understood all that he had done to you? All that he had deprived you of by trapping a being such as yourself in a marriage as loveless as yours had been?

At that line of internal questioning, Dream sighed, and turned to leave, only to hear the door swing open behind him just as he did so, a gasp filling the air behind his back before he quickly spun to face the source of the sound.

There you were, a giggling and bouncing baby at your hip, with a bottle in your hand, staring at the personification of dreams with eyes that were beginning to brim ever so slightly with tears.

"Please, don't go."

You whispered, causing the Dream Lord's eyes to widen ever so slightly,

"I need to talk to you."

And much to his surprise, Dream was quick to oblige, stepping into your abode in only a few simple strides, taking in the familiar yet so very changed space and atmosphere found within the walls of your home.

This was where he had met you well over a thousand years ago by happenstance, though he knew all too well deep down that all things happened for a reason, and that his meeting with you had been preordained by his eldest sibling and the stars long before the humans that had created you had even existed.

It was peaceful here, in the deeper woods with you, in your fire-heated home so hidden from view.

Or maybe, it was you who brought on that familiar peace, you who made his physical form relax in spite of how tireless it was meant to be.

He did not linger on such a thought for very long, for fear of what he might come to realize.

"You look well."

He said almost timidly, eyes cast downward and body language tense as he tried not to consider how similarly you looked even still to the last time that he'd seen you.

Beautiful, as always.

You sighed in response, wrestling a lightly chiming metal pendant out of the hand of the child in your grasp before tucking it into your shirt and away from view.

"With all due respect, my lord, I have absolutely no interest in small talk."

You said quietly, watching as Dream raised his gaze to look at you once more, eyes following intently as you shifted the child at your hip slightly, eyes still not entirely rid of the tears that had so clearly threatened to fall upon the sight of him.

"You disappeared."

You stated in a whisper, sounding almost defeated even as Dream nodded in reply,

"I did."

He said.

You sighed again, and looked down at the child, gaze softening slightly as you raised the prepared bottle to it's lips, watching as it started to suckle with delight, chubby limbs wiggling within your grasp, though you notably did not falter.

You never did, you were far too good with children, a fact that Dream had always felt unsettled by.

He was discernibly not a family man, particularly back when he had married you, and the idea that you were meant for something outside of what he could comfortably provide you with...

"And now you're back."

You said matter of factly, using that same tone as before as the being in front of you was snapped out of his reverie at the familiar sound of your voice, his reaction instantaneous.

"I am."

He said simply, watching as you looked up at him once more, tears spilling slightly in a way that for a moment, caused him to freeze up entirely.

You had never been one for crying, not even throughout the many years where he had harmed you through his lack of attention and desire. What could it have been, here and now that would bring you to such tears upon his simple words?

He moved after a moment, almost instinctively, to stand before you, some longing once believed to be long lost within him bubbling to the surface as he raised both hands to your face, cupping your cheeks in order to wipe your tears away with almost trembling thumbs that had nearly forgotten the once worshiped feeling of your skin beneath their pads.

You sighed shakily, looking him in the eyes for one of the very first times that day as you shook your head slightly,

"How could you do such a thing to me, Dream? How could you vanish so entirely without a word to me or anyone that you knew would be worried for you? How could you turn up here so casually and think to turn away and leave without letting me see the realness of you for myself?"

The Lord of Dreams looked down at you with sadness in his eyes, and moved to shake his own head in response, his hands still soft and warm against your skin.

Alive.

"I did not choose to leave, my dear."

He all but murmured, the familiar nickname he had once used for you finding his lips as naturally as water did a spring,

"And I did not think you desired to see me again after our last interaction. Coming here, it was not something I thought to do. I simply did."

You gazed up at him incredulously still stuck on that first part of his statement,

"What do you mean you did not choose to leave, Morpheus?"

You whispered, horror seeping into your tone as the being in front of you faltered, before finally speaking, shame present in every word that he spoke.

"I was captured by a human, and held against my will for over a century. My freedom, as it stands currently, is new. I did not choose to leave and stay away from my duties, I assure you."

You let out a choked and humorless sounding laugh, shaking your head even further,

"And what you consider upon your exit from such a hell is not of who you want to see, but who may wish to see you? Where has my selfish King of Dream's gone?"

You asked, voice slight and smile lopsided as Morpheus sighed and thoughtlessly traced the curves of your lips with his thumb, finding much to his surprise that the shape remained familiar even to this day.

"I was not fair to you, dear wife, not for a very long time. If nothing else, I wanted to know that I had at least respected your wishes for space, though even that may have been self serving."

You adjusted the child on your hip, before you raised your hand up to your husband's, ignoring the slight way that he shivered beneath your touch.

"Whatever do you mean, King of Dreams?"

You whispered, watching as Morpheus gave a humorless sounding chuckle of his own.

"I mean that even today, I could not bear to call you anything besides my wife. I mean that by avoiding you entirely, and calling that your wish, I am able to ignore the fact that I am still not strong enough to give you the end to our union that you so justly requested. I do not wish to lose you in that way, even if I have lost you in all others."

You hummed softly in response, smile growing gently as you removed his hand from your face, giving him a glance that had him dropping the other to his side before you guided him to your sofa, where you sat the two of you down, you with a child upon your lap, and him with nothing but his most bare self, vulnerable in a way he had not felt since he had been so plainly naked behind glass for what had felt like all of man to see.

Seeking out a distraction, Dream looked down toward the child sitting upon your lap, before moving his gaze back up to yours again.

"The child..."

He began, and immediately, you shook your head,

"He is not mine. I found him roaming the woods a few days back, and have yet to find his mother, even after stopping by the nearest town. I'm hoping to hear word of someone searching for him soon."

You said casually, watching with gleaming eyes as the child took your finger and clasped it within his chubby little fist, his grin revealing his few teeth, just barely poking out from beneath his gums.

Dream could not help but smile softly along with him, though his was merely a shadow compared to that of the child sitting atop your legs.

"I see..."

He replied, and you gazed toward him with noted amusement,

"Were you worried that I had stepped outside of our marriage, Lord Morpheus?"

You teased, watching as the man in front of you rolled his eyes before responding.

"No, I was more hoping than anything else. If you had moved on, then I might find it easier now to do the same."

You looked up at him upon hearing those words, before reaching down to place the small child on the floor in front of you with a sigh, thus allowing you to better face the being sitting at your side.

"And why is it that you are so eager to move past me, dear husband?"

You watched as Dream cast his gaze downward, eyes trained on the child playing nearby in spite of the fact that you could tell his mind was far away indeed, off somewhere that you could not follow, deeply considering every event he'd ever endured in search of an answer to your question.

How nice it must have been, to be so knowledgeable.

"If I were to move past you, wife, then I might finally be able to let you go, and if I managed to do such a thing, it would be far more feasible that you could truly hope to be rid of me someday."

You sighed, and reached for the hands of the individual that you had once known so well, and perhaps even did still, causing him to look up at you in surprise at the sudden contact.

"And if I do not want to be rid of you, dear Morpheus? If I said that after a century I have found it within myself to forgive you for the husband you once were in favor of learning what husband you could be now?"

You watched as the being sitting in front of you stared for a moment, as if in complete and utter disbelief, before he slowly began shaking his head, the corner of his lips raising ever so slightly as he leaned in to press his forehead against your own,

"Then I would say that I have known no greater patience than that of my dear wife."

He murmured, causing you to laugh quietly with a subtle roll of your eyes before you reached upward, pulling a pendant on a chain out from where it had been hidden beneath the collar of your shirt.

Dream watched curiously, not entirely sure of what you were doing, until suddenly you yanked at the chain with such force that it snapped in the back, causing either end of it to come tumbling forward into your palm.

Dream raised a brow in response to your actions, but remained silent, seeing in your eyes that you were all too eager to explain, the glint there unsubtle in a way that he was immensely familiar with.

"I kept this for you while you were away"

You stated casually as you pulled one of two clinking pieces of metal off of the chain, revealing to Dream a sight he had never anticipated having the privilege of viewing again.

There, between two of your fingertips and presented to him with such normalcy, was his wedding ring, and he could see from the subtle glint still remaining in your palm that the other metal piece on the chain had been yours.

He stared in shock, reaching for the familiar symbol of his union to you in utter disbelief, even as the coolness of it's structure wrapped itself around his ring finger as he took it and slid it on to its rightful place upon his hand.

"It’s been more than a century..."

He murmured, his tone betraying his surprise in spite of how little emotion he typically showed, even in vulnerable moments like this one.

You smiled at him, shrugging slightly as you slid your own ring onto your finger again, sighing as if having arrived home after a long day of work,

"I know."

[trippingontheescalator]

Hey, I just want to say that I’ve had to deal with comments like this as well. I got a very similar comment on the first chapter of a planned 30-chapter fic that was basically like “I am so disappointed in this, I’m not going to read it if Snape is just going to be a pushover, blah blah blah” like just because Snape isn’t punching every single bully in the first paragraph it doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be plot or character development or what have you. It’s like, “chill, enjoy the ride, and if this isn’t the ride for you, just click that X button.” This has probably been my biggest disappointment with writing Snape fics. Like you said, if you aren’t following a cookie-cutter plan of action then you are enabling abuse or something ridiculous like that.

I’ve been following Was It Worth It almost from the beginning, and I think you’ve done an excellent job exploring their personalities -- breaking them down and building them back up so that they can learn to build a life together. Have you created a perfect, idealized relationship? No, of course not. Such a thing doesn’t exist anyway, except in fiction, and I knew I wasn’t going to get that when you tagged it as “Unhealthy Relationships.” Your Sirius/Severus relationship isn’t exactly healthy, but it is functional and I can see it eventually growing to be more stable and healthy as they learn to deal with their individual issues. I think that it’s amazing that you took a relationship that, at the beginning, was so disastrous and one-sided and then you were able to transform it into what it has become (also, you’re almost at 100,000 words now!? Holy shit that’s amazing! I wish I had the focus to be able to write a fic that long!) You should be proud of your work! I have certainly enjoyed it :)

I can’t heap enough praise on your fic. It’s wonderful. (Also, on your commitment as a writer. Your ability to provide us with such long, in-depth chapters every week is amazing and I’m so jealous, I want to be able to do that 😩) That also reminds me that I need to leave a review :)

I hadn't realised that there was a pattern of action in fanfiction that I should follow, and adapt the personalities of Severus and Sirius to that.

There are still two chapters to go, but I feel more and more like just finishing it already, why should I disappoint people?

Generally I feel that I should have finished this fanfic about 5 chapters back. Oh well, my mistake.

[caesaryoulater]

Christmas in New York

Bucky Barnes x F! Librarian Reader - Musician AU

Rating: 18+ only, because my blog is, but there’s nothing explicit here

Word count: 777

Summary: Bucky takes you on a trip to New York

Content: Nothing major I can think of. This is mostly just tooth rotting fluff.

A/N: This is my submission for Writer Wednesday. A huge thank you to @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ for all their hard work! It’s connected to my For the Record series. I don’t think there’s anything too confusing if you haven’t read (I’d appreciate if you did, though!). This takes place after the (still unfinished) main story line.

Masterlist

“Sorry, we couldn’t find a better tree that fits in the apartment,” Bucky sighs. Finding a tree was last minute. The two of you had been out shopping and realized you never decorated. The last couple months have been a whirlwind. First you and Bucky had just started talking moving in together. The plan was to wait until his lease was up then he’d move into your place. Then he got the opportunity to record some of the solo stuff he had been working on in New York.

You remember when he had told you the news. He was so excited. And as excited as you were for him, your heart dropped. Moving in would be put on hold. You assumed you wouldn’t see him for a bit. He was quick to assure you it would only be a couple weeks. And while it’d be over Christmas, you had plenty of vacation time at work. Before you knew it you were in New York. Staying in an apartment a friend of his had subleased to you.

“It’s cute. Especially now that we have it decorated and have presents under it.” You kiss his cheek and set the last wrapped gift under it. Some of them wouldn’t get opened until you returned home. They were things you picked up while you were shopping in the city. Mainly for Bea because Bucky couldn’t resist. He probably would’ve bought out FAO Schwarz if he could. You could already see the “seriously?” stares from Steve and Peggy. The tree was one of the last of the smaller ones on the lot. The only other tree that’d fit the apartment had been a true Charlie Brown tree. You appreciated this had a little more life to it. Really, though, it was more about the experience. Walking around New York. Going to the tree lot. Drinking cocoa. All with Bucky. You hadn’t imagined your life being like this and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not a traditional holiday at home. Or a more aesthetically pleasing tree. Your relationship had never been traditional, why should your holiday celebrations? You were excited to wake up Christmas Day, make breakfast, open gifts, and stay in enjoying each other’s company. No distractions from friends or family. It's your first Christmas together and you’re glad you can spend it just the two of you. He stops you from walking away, pulling you to him. His arm around your waist keeping you close. “I know this probably isn’t your ideal Christmas, but I’m glad you came.” “What isn’t ideal about it? I’m in New York with the person I love. On vacation from work. It’s perfect,” you respond, punctuating your sentences with kisses. He grins and leans in for another kiss, lingering. You wrap him in a hug, face nuzzling into his chest. “As perfect as this is, I can’t wait until we get home. Our home.” The sound of that was like music to your ears. Finally, you’ll get to start your life fully together. Something you used to not be sure would ever happen.

Bucky squeezes her tighter. The trip has been amazing so far. He’s finishing up music he’s proud of with her right there with him. A big part of why he had the courage to go after it in spite of everything. He didn’t imagine he’d go solo. That anyone would want that from him. Especially with how disastrous the break up and tour had gone. And as great as this trip as been, he still couldn’t wait to get back to real life. Their home. They had done a quick move in before leaving. Basically just bringing in boxes to sort and put away when they got back. Luckily with being on the road then at Steve’s he didn’t have a ton of stuff. He didn’t bother doing much with the apartment, hoping it was temporary. He stares over at the wrapped box he plans on giving to her Christmas morning. The larger one concealing the much smaller box inside. The one that he had to sneak to the jewelry store to buy after recording one day. And hide in the bedroom with the door locked to wrap. The one that he had been planning since before moving and the trip came up. He had every intention on making their home truly theirs, making the trip and their first Christmas something to remember. “What’cha thinking about?” Her voice pulls him back to reality. “How much I love you,” he kisses her forehead. “I love you too. Now how about we order some delivery and watch The Grinch?”

[raleighcarrera]

saved by the bell

foreign affairs | m!blaine hayes x mc (kennedy monroe)

blaine springs kennedy from her date in chapter 10.

catch up: knockout (E) / on the ropes (T) / outpoint (T) / parry (E) / pulling punches (T) / ringside (T)

tagging: @pixeljazzy ; @zigtheeortega ; @pixelsandkink ; @writinghereandthere ; @choicesarehard ; @dakotawinchester ; @flyawayboo ; @withbeautyandrage ; @blainehellyes ; @levineseth ; @gryffindordaughterofathena ; @thefirstcourtesan ; @josieplayschoices 

~3.5k words | T

he’s not going to look.

no matter how much his phone lights up with incoming notification after incoming notification, he’s not going to look. blaine refuses to torture himself by checking for photos of kennedy’s date, though his curiosity is eating him alive.

it’s a nice reprieve from worrying about her, at any rate, even if it is maddening.

lately it feels like all he’s done is worry about her, though that’s mostly because kennedy looks to be about an inch away from tears every time she’s around -- not that it’s often, anymore. there’s absolutely nothing worse than seeing her suffer from the sidelines; he still feels just as helpless as he did when he watched her give that first disastrous press conference in his dorm, the day after the pictures hit voyeur. 

it’s unbelievably frustrating, being forced to sit on his hands and watch everyone else try to control her life. kennedy’s under a microscope like neither of them have ever been before, and for the first time in his life, he’s in the uncomfortable position of having to be careful -- not because he gives a shit about himself or his own reputation, but because of her, and what it might do to her if he was reckless.

he’s bitten his tongue more times in the last week than he has in his entire life. it’d taken every last ounce of his self control not to snap and defend kennedy at the pet store, not to panic when she’d clued him in on her mom’s newest pr strategy, not to keep her locked in the teacher’s lounge with him for the rest of the semester and refuse to let her go when she snuck out to meet him.

already he knows he’ll never forget the names and faces of the classmates of theirs that’d picked on her. if he ever really does wind up in charge in ardona, one day, he’ll come to power with a ready-made list of enemies, all because of the way they’d made her look when she sunk down low into her seat in class, her shoulders hunched in shame.

he’s laying in bed, moping miserably, thinking over it all when peter pokes his head in with a hesitant knock. “how’re you holding up?” he asks, tactfully, given that blaine’s pretty sure he looks utterly awful. “those daily post photos were... rough.”

blaine groans, burying his face in his hands. “i’m not looking at them. i don’t want to know.”

“that’s probably for the best,” peter says sympathetically, and that does it -- seals the deal completely. he reaches for his phone, snatching it off the nightstand.

dionne’s also texted him, which means the photos are as bad as he’s hoping they won’t be. his stomach twists into knots as he navigates to his favorite gossip site, certain the pictures he’s looking for will be plastered all over the homepage.

sure enough -- there they are: kennedy and alexei, huddled together outside of some swanky restaurant, hand-in-hand. she’s all dressed up for the occasion, because with alexei she’s allowed to be; she doesn’t have to sneak out to see him, hidden under a baseball hat in some far away place where no one will recognize either of them. the point of this date is to be seen, and judging by the crowd of flashing lights surrounding them, they’ve done a perfect job selling their relationship to the press.

so the second picture accompanying the story is an unnecessary twist of the knife -- complete overkill. they’re kissing, in this one, lips pressed together chastely just outside the limo. he feels nauseous.

“they’re probably having a terrible time,” peter says, though blaine’s still staring at his phone, eyes fixed on the photo in his hands. “i heard that restaurant is horrible.”

“it’s fine,” blaine says hollowly, tapping back to his texts to answer dionne. she wants to know how he is, too, and he gives her the same answer: fine. everything is fine.

“you’re so full of shit,” dionne says, when she shows up at his dorm twenty minutes later, her arms folded across her chest and her expression unimpressed.

yeah. he forgot she knows him so well. “well -- whatever,” blaine sighs, dragging a hand down his face. it doesn’t matter. it has to not matter, for kennedy’s sake. “it’s not like i can do anything about it. this is the way it has to be.”

the look in dionne’s eyes grows distant, and he sits up slowly as a smile starts to overtake her face, cautiously optimistic while what’s obviously an evil plan begins to unfurl. “no,” dionne says, “it’s not. i think i have an idea.”

so -- that’s how he finds himself sweating through his jacket, overthinking this whole stupid plan while he waits for kennedy to slip out the back of the stupid opera house and meet him and his stupid rental car in the alley. he thinks back over all the ways they’d had to cover his tracks to get him here: how peter’d had to call in the car, how dionne’d had to threaten and sweet talk alexei at the same time, how there isn’t a single hurdle he wouldn’t leap or hoop he wouldn’t jump through for even just half an evening alone with her.

this is probably a terrible idea. at the very least, it’s dangerous, and sure to get them fucking caught again, no matter how careful they all were in making it happen.

maybe he should call the whole thing off. call dionne and get her to tell kennedy to forget it -- to go back to her date and take the easy way out, because who is he kidding, anyway?

the sound of heels on the cobblestones takes the decision swiftly out of his hands. blaine looks up to see kennedy standing in front of him, admiring the rental with a gentle smirk on her beautiful face. she looks even more ridiculously gorgeous than she had in the daily post pictures, as annoying as that is. 

she’s alone.

“no limo? that’s not very romantic, mr. hayes,” she teases playfully, mouth stretched wide with a smile.

he leans over to pop the door open for her, grinning to cover up his nerves. just having kennedy around is going a long way towards keeping him calm -- he feels undeniably more sane out here with her than he had in his room, pouting with fruitless jealousy. “take it up with dionne,” he shrugs, eyes raking up and down her outfit. she really does look nice. “now hop in.”

“we have three hours and forty-five minutes,” kennedy says helpfully, as soon as they’ve slipped out of town unseen and headed to the highway, “i have to be back by curtain.”

“i know,” blaine hums, sighing with relief as soon as he glances in the rearview mirror and sees they aren’t being followed, “dionne briefed me. she figured out a whole plan.”

“oh,” kennedy says. she sounds... happy. “that was really nice of her.” there’s a pause, and he fidgets with the steering wheel for a moment before shifting his left hand up to the top to steer so his right arm is free to drape across the back of kennedy’s seat. she leans in closer to the center console and continues, “i really wish it was you in there with me.”

he exhales heavily. more relieving than not being followed, than being with her at all is hearing that -- that he’s not alone in his insanity. lately he feels like a completely different person, and he has no idea what’s come over him, so it’s comforting to know that it’s all for something, beyond just making kennedy smile. evidently, she wants to be his stupid girlfriend just as badly as he wants her to. “me, too. you have no idea. i’ve really missed you, these past few days.”

“i know. it’s weird,” kennedy agrees, “hardly seeing you. not being able to text you, and tell you about my day... i mean -- i barely even get to talk to you, outside of class.”

yeah. he knows. and when there’s other people around he has to watch what he fucking says, too. it’s far from ideal, and he knows he’s gotten sloppy, but...

part of him almost wants someone to catch them. blaine knows it’s selfish and stupid, but he wants it all the same. because if someone found out the truth and spilled the beans... they’d be free, and the impossible decision of what to do next would be out of their hands.

he could never ask kennedy to go public on her own. he would never ask her for that, no matter how badly he wants it. but a slip-up... that would be beyond their control.

blaine shakes his head. “it’s fine,” he says again, clearing his throat, “i’ll plan some secret meet up for us every night, if you want. even if it only buys us a few minutes.”

he glances to the side just in time to catch the look that crosses her face. kennedy’s quite obviously touched by his offer, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as she stares down at her hands. forcefully, he drags his eyes back to the road. “i’d really like that,” she murmurs, so quietly he almost misses it. when he only nods, she raises her voice and asks, “so, where are we going?”

“you’ll see,” he directs, taking the exit that’ll bring them to the drive-in, mentally cataloging the travel time it’d taken to get up here and making a note of the minutes he’ll need to account for to get kennedy back, especially if he has to circle the block until the street is empty before he drops her off. 

her eyes light up when he pulls into the parking lot. “a drive-in theater, seriously? i used to love going to the drive-in back home. i didn’t know they had them near vancross.” her nose is practically pressed against the window as she looks around excitedly while he idles.

“this is my first time,” blaine admits, though how eager kennedy is definitely bodes well for the experience. even if it completely sucked, he’d still bring her back every weekend, just to see her smile like that. “we don’t really have these in ardona, but dionne talked it up.”

kennedy finally peels her eyes away from the window to smile playfully at him again, her eyes sparkling. “so you’re a drive-in virgin? interesting.”

his face feels hot, suddenly. blaine rolls his eyes at her, gesturing at the map of the venue in front of them. they’re kind of holding up the line. “yeah, yeah. pick your movie, rutherland. it’s just background noise for the real show, anyway.”

if he’s being honest, he barely hears her make her choice, the instructions on where to go flying in one ear and out the other. all he cares about for where he parks the car is that it’s secluded, and dark, away from prying eyes and any other people in the lot.

fortunately, blaine finds them the perfect spot, and he doesn’t even waste a second pretending like he gives a single shit about the movie at all, his eyes on her just as soon as the gear shift’s out of his hand.

kennedy’s turned in her seat and already looking back at him. she smiles and says, “thanks for doing this. it’s nice to have a normal date. i never pegged you as the type of guy who was all about carnivals and drive-ins and making these fun experiences for us.”

he shrugs, more nonchalantly than he feels. “probably ‘cause i’m not,” blaine answers honestly, “but everything’s different, with you.”

kennedy makes a soft sound of disbelief, lifting her hands to cover her face. when she peeks out from between her fingers, he sees that she’s smiling widely again. “you keep saying stuff like that. it’s so charming.”

blaine laughs, reaching out to tug her hands off her face. “that’s kind of the point.” he clears his throat, then continues more seriously, “but... i want you to know how i feel, you know? you shouldn’t have to guess. the truth is... i’ve been all-in for awhile, now, and -- those pictures were just a shitty setback. they don’t change the way i feel about you at all.”

she reaches out for his hand, and he lets her lace their fingers together, squeezing affectionately. “you have no idea how nice it feels to hear that,” kennedy sighs. “honestly...” the hesitation in her voice makes it clear she’s unsure of whatever she’s about to say, but she continues, “it kind of just felt like i ruined everything. things were actually going pretty well, for once, but now it’s like there’s this... dark cloud hanging over everything i do. i can’t even hang out with you without worrying we’re going to get caught again.”

his expression softens. he’s not usually one for optimism, but for her, and in the interest of getting some of that thick sadness out of her voice, he’ll try. “well, we’ve done a pretty good job avoiding that so far.”

“that’s true.” kennedy’s head tips back agains the carseat, and she smiles at him again. “i guess we’re making it work, in our own way. i love that i can always count on you to be real with me. it’s so -- refreshing, after all the fake posturing we deal with.”

well -- that’s probably as good an opening as he’s ever going to get. he spares a moment to silently thank whatever god is listening for the chance to ask the question that’s been eating at him for hours, the one thing he’s most desperate to know, beyond even the other stuff that usually keeps him up at night, everything from the simple inner workings of kennedy’s mind to why he’s so tripped up over a girl he’s only spent a few short months with. “speaking of fake...” blaine pointedly looks somewhere beyond her, staring out at the parking lot, “how’d your date go?”

kennedy’s quiet for long enough that he has to look back at her. there’s a knowing little glint in her eyes that he decidedly does not like. “are you jealous?”

“what?” he scoffs, “of course not. you left alexei to go out with me.”

“right,” she laughs, one small word injected with endless disbelief. “well, we had a good time. alexei’s not so bad.”

he’s an egomaniac and a self-centered prick, actually, blaine thinks. out loud, he says, “oh. cool. glad it worked out. cool, cool, cool...”

he fidgets restlessly. kennedy’s visible amusement only grows. “you know it was still a fake date, right? neither of us have any interest in the other.”

“i know,” blaine insists defensively. kennedy only arches an eyebrow at him. with a groan, he slumps back in his seat, a hand rubbing at his jaw. “fine, maybe i am a little jealous. give me a break, okay? this is kind of a unique situation for me.”

“if it helps, i think you’re doing a pretty great job.” she’s still smiling at him, but less like she thinks he’s being funny and more like she thinks he’s being sweet. she leans in a little closer, and -- it actually does help. the knots in his stomach that’d been coiled there since she first said her mom’s team was planning a pr relationship for her are finally starting to unwind.

“yeah?” he asks, gratified by the immediate nod she gives. “that’s good. i don’t wanna half-ass this boyfriend stuff just because it’s new to me.”

there’s a long stretch of silence. he realizes what he’s said all at once and starts to feel nauseous all over again, staring silently back at kennedy while he waits for her to say something -- anything.

“boyfriend stuff?” 

“ah.” his hand slips around to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly. “sorry. slipped out.” he should probably just cut his losses now -- bring her back early to be on the safe side and go back to his dorm and drown himself in the shower, because he is an idiot and that’s what an idiot deserves. “i know you kind of already have a boyfriend.”

kennedy huffs out a quiet laugh. “i kind of do.” she tilts her head to meet his eyes, forcing him to look at her again. his heart stutters painfully in his chest, picking up into a pace that’s almost frantic. “but... that’s not a ‘no.’”

their hands are still linked together. he looks down at where their fingers are interlaced, hoping his palms aren’t as sweaty as they feel. blaine disentangles his hand to lift it instead to kennedy’s face, pushing a lock of hair out of her eyes with a hesitant smile she immediately returns tenfold. 

it’s also not a ‘yes,’ but he’ll take what he can get. 

as it turns out, three hours and forty-five minutes is kind of not actually a long time at all.

or maybe it would be, for some people, but with kennedy in his lap, squished between him and the steering wheel so she can kiss him senseless, the time flies by. they watch what’s probably ten minutes total of the movie, they’re so busy kissing and talking, his hands wandering along her new outfit to show his appreciation for it the only way he knows how.

for her part, kennedy gives as good as she gets, tugging his hair out of place and messing up his jacket and making him forget his own name, with the way her hips are pushing into his lap and all the sweet little sounds she makes when he whispers something dirty in her ear and presses her in closer against him.

no amount of agonizing over her fake dates and not being able to kiss her in public is ever going to drive the way she shivers with her whole body when he says something she likes from his mind.

still, the drive back is somber. it’s time to bring kennedy -- kiss-swollen lips and raised hemlines and all -- back to the opera house before he knows it, and he’s really not looking forward to everyone who sees her thinking she spent four hours fooling around in the private box with alexei, of all people. he’s looking forward to driving home alone and going to bed by himself even less.

tomorrow he’ll have to sit by her in class again and pretend like everything’s fine.

because they had tonight, and he knows he should be content with that. the problem is -- he’s not. 

“you okay?” kennedy asks, checking the time on the watch on his wrist with a frown. she’s holding his hand in both of hers. “and don’t say you’re ‘fine.’”

“i am fine,” blaine insists, running his thumb across her wrist. “this sucks, but it’s what we have to do. if you’re good, then i’m good.”

she studies his expression for a minute, then sighs. “i’m as good as i can be,” she murmurs, “but things will get better.”

he knows that, too. even if no one ever finds out it’s him in the photos, even if they have to spend the rest of their lives sneaking out and ditching their bodyguards so they can find a few hours alone together -- things are good. the alternative -- winning the fight with his parents to keep him away from vancross, never getting the chance to know kennedy as well as he does... that’s a future that seems bleak, now that he’s seen the alternative.

“it’s really alright,” blaine assures her. “i’ll miss you, but... do what you gotta do.”

something about the way he says the words seems to instill new confidence in kennedy. she straightens her shoulders and glances back at the opera house door with determination. “thanks,” kennedy sighs, squeezing his hand one last time before slowly pulling away. she probably has only seconds until the finale starts up, though he’s desperate for a way to make them stretch longer. an eternity would be a nice place to start.

“will you... text dionne goodnight before you go to bed?” she asks, looking so hopeful he finds it’s impossible to do anything other than nod.

he grins widely at kennedy, leaning in to steal one last kiss. “dream about me, will ya?”

“every night,” she promises, and blaine lowers the window to get a better view of her and the sway of her hips when she slips out of the car and back inside, sighing heavily once she’s gone and he’s alone again, whacking his head against the carseat.

this is some mess they’ve gotten themselves into.

but, he figures, as he pulls away from the curb and starts back towards campus, the image of kennedy walking away in the heels and skirt she’d been wearing playing over and over again in his mind like a highlight reel, it’s definitely not without its perks.

[themostbeautifuldaisy]

Everything will be alright - Laws of Attraction/Gabe x F!MC fanfic

Book: Laws of Attraction

Word Count: 870 words

Gabe x F!MC

Hi everyone! This is my first time writing fanfic and I absolutely had to write it down as it played out in my head. I think Gabe might be my favourite LI. Bryce Lahela and Thomas Mendez were my previous favs but Gabe takes the prize. He’s so put together and solicitous, plus he reminds me of a younger Henry Cavill (the ethnically ambiguous but largely regarded as black Gabe). Anyways, I wrote this for myself but I hope you enjoy it! X

P.S. Sorry it’s a bit long. I condensed 9 months worth of storytime into this post.

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT

Morning of the wedding…

At last, it was their wedding day. Verity had waited for this day for months. Sitting in a chair getting her hair and makeup done, she surveyed the room full of her friends and relatives bustling around and trying to get ready. It felt surreal, especially after the conversation she had had with her mum prior half an hour earlier.

“Verity, you need to take a pregnancy test”, Cora had suggested. Verity could still remember the feeling of shock and confusion after her mother had dropped the bomb. But Cora had explained that she saw the signs in her only daughter and made Verity think. She and Gabe had discussed the idea of children. She knew he loved children, especially after that incident during Aliana’s murder investigation. They had both agreed that she would continue working for a few more years, focusing only on their careers and each other. 

But then, five weeks ago, they had gotten drunk after the success of the Goodman case and… she blushed just thinking about the memory of that night. All inhibition had gone out of the window with their clothes (a story for another day) and six weeks later on their wedding day and 7 positive pregnancy tests later, here were the results. She closed her eyes and willed herself to believe that everything would be alright.

Night of the wedding…

“Alone at last”, Gabe released a pent up sigh as she cuddled his new bride. He still couldn’t believe they had gotten married. Him, Gabriel Emilio Ricci, who had become a lifelong bachelor (or so he thought) after a disastrous relationship; was finally married to the love of his life- Verity Bridges. It hadn’t taken them long to start their relationship. He still remembered going with her to Sadie’s office six months after she had been made a junior partner to explain that they were in a relationship. Sadie hadn’t seemed all that shocked, but then, Sadie always knew everything. It had felt so good to finally be open about his love. There had been a few snide remarks about their relationship and Verity’s partnership, but between him, Sadie and Verity’s work ethic, those whispers died a quick death.

He kissed the top of her head as they snuggled in silence, both exhausted and elated at the events of the day. Everything seemed alright. Suddenly, Verity looked up at him. 

“Gabe? I have something to tell you”.

A week later…

Gabe was still in shock. As they sat in the back of the town car, he took his equally dazed wife’s hand and held it. It felt cold and clammy. He squeezed the hand and kissed it.

“Everything will be okay, V. Everything will be alright”. She looked at him with her luminous grey eyes but said nothing. He understood. Twins. They were having twins. A week ago, they had discussed the spacing of their children. This pregnancy was unexpected, but they had both agreed that after a while, Verity would get back to work while Gabe took a sabbatical to raise their baby, and then they’d wait a few years to try again. But twins changed everything. Two children at once. Everything will be alright. He sure hoped so.

Nine months later… 

“You want me to be the twins’ Godmother?! I’m honoured”. Sadie looked very pleased. They were in the sitting room of their New York townhouse. The new parents had decided that Gabe’s apartment would not be ideal to raise their children, as big as it was. With Aislin’s real estate cousin pulling strings, they had found this amazing 1880’s townhouse with a big garden (which Verity had quipped was half the size of Central Park) that suited the couple’s tastes. 

“By the way, how is the new mum?”, Sadie asked.

Gabe smiled as he cuddled little Matteo, who everyone swore looked like him. 

“She’s taking a nap. The twins keep us up most of the night.” 

“Well, give my love to her”, Sadie said as she smiled at her little namesake, Sarah. The parents had decided to name her after the woman who had played such a significant role in their careers and personal lives.

Later that night…

Gabe crawled into bed beside the love of his life. The twins were finally asleep and all was well. 

“Hey”, Verity murmured sleepily. 

“Hey yourself”. He kissed her briefly.

“Have I told you how much I love you and appreciate you?”

“Only every hour.” He smirked. “Who knew that when I suggested Sadie recruit you to our firm that you’ll not only change McGraw Bryne with your passion and devotion to truth but you’d also change mine and make me the happiest man alive?” He continued to talk about what a wonderful woman she was and how much he loved her until a little snore stopped him.

He smiled. She might not have heard his little speech, but he vowed to make sure she felt cherished and appreciated every day. As he closed his eyes and slowly lost the battle to sleep, he thought of their wonderful life together and the wonderful future they had. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

Everything was alright.

Edit: I included my Sim version of them. However, I could not fully capture the beauty that is Gabe Ricci. 

#laws of attraction #playchoices #choices #gabe ricci #gabriel ricc i#gabe x mc #pixelberry #choices laws of attraction #gabe ricci x mc #gabe x mc #choices fanfic #gabe ricci x f!mc

[ficforce]

Blind Spot Part 1

Obi x Reader Stalker trigger

Obi stopped mid-lift as he heard the sound of three women getting angry all at once, it could only mean that Y/N had come back from her date and that it hadn’t gone well. He grabbed a towel and wiped at his face before opening the door and heading toward the break room; Iris looked mildly scandalised whilst Tamaki and Maki looked ready to commit murder, Y/N stood in front of them looking a little disappointed. “So he just grabbed your butt and expected you to go home with him? What a pervert!” “You have the worst luck with that dating company, why can’t you find your prince charming already?” Maki looked close to tears and sat down as if defeated. Y/N pat her on the shoulder and then she realised Obi was stood in the doorway, he looked a little sweaty but she recognised the bright look in his eyes, he always got a good feeling after working out, “You called it, Captain. Another loser crossed off the list.” “Did you update your dating profile?” He wasn’t going to gloat, he hadn’t liked the guy’s profile when she showed him and he felt worse about it if the guy had touched her without her wanting him to, “What did you put in for your ideal match?” She sat down beside Maki and began counting off the points on her fingers, “Tall, fit, kind, fun. Adventurous, looking for a long term commitment, preferably someone in a similar line of work.” Sister Iris shook her head a little and exhaled, “Why don’t you just put in a picture of Captain Obi in that section?” Tamaki covered her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out loud and Maki looked at the two hopefully. It wasn’t the first time someone had told Y/N that she and Obi would be a great match.

“Tall, check” Maki ticked off an imaginary box, “No ones more fitness mad than Captain, check.” Iris joined in then, getting up her own imaginary checklist, “Kind and fun, check. Adventurous… let’s just check that.” Tamaki pretended to grab Iris’ list, “Pretty sure Captain Obi said he’d only date for keeps, check. And he’s in the same line of work. Check, check and check!” The three of them looked at them excitedly, Obi rubbed the back of his head and fumbled with his words for a moment, eventually coming up with some excuse, “We’ve been friends for nearly ten years, I think if there was anything between us it would have happened by now, right, Y/N?” “And you’re my boss now,” she gave a shrug to the girls and sat down at the end of the table, still disappointed by the evening’s date. Y/N had always dreamed of a prince charging into her life one day, sweeping her off her feet and loving her until the end of time, she felt like she was running out of time now, she was nearly thirty and still hadn’t had a long, meaningful relationship. She wondered if Mr Right would ever find her… Feeling a warm hand on her shoulder she looked up at Obi and he gave her a soft smile, “You’ll find a guy who ticks all the boxes, you just need to relax a little more. How about I set you up with Hinawa?” “Great idea!” Y/N cheered, “Then I can borrow his gun to shoot you with!” Obi snorted and headed out to hit the showers, oblivious to Y/N watching him as he left, her eyes lingering on his muscled back until she heard giggling from the side, “What?!” The women couldn’t believe how oblivious the two were of their feelings. The next two dates were just as disastrous and put the usually cheery woman in a bad mood. She was almost grateful for the difficulty of their mission as it let her work out some frustration, Obi pulled her up out of the elevator shaft they had used to escape a collapse lower down and she made sure to adjust his hood when she noticed it coming loose - neither of them had fire abilities and made sure to check the other’s equipment. It was something they had done even when they were regular firefighters, they had been in some difficult firefights and they always tried to find something to laugh about at the end; it kept them sane. They had gotten separated from everyone else when two Infernals had flanked the team, “The floor’s weak here, watch your step, Ak- Obi.” Y/N still wasn’t used to calling him Captain or Obi after years of casual friendship calling each other by first names. They made their way through the building until they found the stairs, the fires were blazing hot and they rushed down the stairs to where they could hear fighting, a screech of metal made Y/N scream as the stairs sunk dangerously under their feet, she balanced herself in time but she saw Obi go over the side of the broken rail. “Akitaru!” She launched herself toward him and barely caught his wrist before he vanished - he was so heavy it was hard not to be pulled over too, “Come on, little help here…” Obi caught the edge of the stairs with his other hand and began to pull himself back up, the woman gripping his coat and belt to help him all the way, “Thanks…” he gave her shoulder a grateful squeeze, “Let’s keep going, stay alert.” The Captain took her hand without thinking and they made their way through the inferno together, it was early dawn by the time they had finished putting the Infernals to rest and Y/N’s head drooped as she fought off sleep, eventually her head dropped onto Obi’s shoulder and he opened one of his eyes to look down at her, a smile flitted over his lips as she let out a mumble. He closed his eye again and relaxed a little, there was still some driving to do before they got back to the station so he would have to enjoy this as much as he could. They’d been friends for as long as he could remember and part of him regretted that he wasn’t her prince charming… they had never even had a moment where he thought he could kiss her and she would respond favourably - perhaps he was a coward? He had told the girls what he

honestly thought, ‘if there was anything between them it would have happened by now.’ It ached every time she described her ideal man but overlooked him. Obi wanted her to be happy and if that meant helping her out before every date she had with a stranger then he would take it on the chin. — - “I give up!” Y/N announced and tossed her jacket over Vulcan’s workbench, “Vul, I need something to hit - gimme a job to do.” She pulled him out from under the matchbox, not too surprised by his animal-themed goggles but they made her laugh, “You’re so cute…” “I’m a star-nosed mole.” The redhead pointed over to a different bench, “The hubcap got a little banged up, wanna hammer it back into shape?” She passed him a bottle of water and the young man pulled his goggles off, he saw Y/N like a kind of mother but even he had to admit she looked good in her date outfit, “Didn’t it go well?” She shook her head, “It was fine at first but then he started talking about himself and it was way different than his profile, then he kept changing his story and I just got this… feeling about him. He was hot as hell but I started to really go off him by dessert.” Y/N took a breath, “You know how you said Dr Giovanni made even your bones feel creeped out - he was like that.” A little time passed with the two working away and then they were interrupted by Hinawa, the Lieutenant’s wide eyes landed on Y/N and she flinched, “…Um?” “Your date called the station, he wanted to know if you got home safe.” He would have gone on to lecture her on the proper use of the work phone but the ex-soldier paused when he saw her expression change, it was obvious the news wasn’t welcome. “Y/N?” “I didn’t tell him where I worked… I said I was in Emergency Services and there’s nothing on me to indicate I work here.” Her skin prickled and she glanced out of the garage door as if someone might be lurking there, “What did you say, Lieutenant?” Hinawa walked past her and pulled the door shut before tossing her her coat, “I told him that Company 8 only deals with Infernals in this district and hung up.” He told Vulcan to make sure he locked up when he was done and led her toward the kitchen. The kitchen with Hinawa always meant a heart to heart, Hinawa began preparing tea and she gave a sigh as she waited for him to say whatever it was he needed. “Tell me about the guy you went out with tonight? Description, occupation… concerns.” “Tall, dark hair and eyes, he was pretty broad.” He passed her a cup and she held it close as she leaned on the counter, “He said he was police force but then he kinda changed his story, I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his arm when he took his coat off and it looked military.” She watched Hinawa nod slowly and then he gestured for the door, having her follow him to the equipment lock-up, “Hinawa?” “I didn’t like his tone, Y/N, I don’t like what you’re telling me.” He pulled open his gun draw and picked out a handgun, checking it over before holding it out to her, “I’m lending this to you, I know you can use it so I’m not too worried about gun safety.” “Hinawa?” She took it from him hesitantly, “I’m… I think you’re overreacting.” “You looked terrified when I said you got a call… It takes some doing to rattle you, Y/N. Cancel your dating subscription, it’s embarrassing that you even signed up. You’re an attractive woman but you need to get your head out of fairytales and start looking in the real world.” Y/N kept the gun Hinawa had given her in a holster under her clothes, she figured he was being overprotective and the thought made her feel better about the whole thing, Company 8 were her family and they looked out for her, maybe Hinawa was right and she needed to relax a little. It was a full week since her date and everything was just like normal, at least she had thought it was. It was Arthur that pointed out a reoccurring figure at the scenes they went out to, the blonde pointed past her shoulder and she turned along with Shinra, “He’s here again.” Shinra squinted into the crowd and agreed, “Yeah, he was here last time and the

time before. Do you know him, Y/N?” The figure was already walking away when she tried to get a better look, she felt a chill all over and stepped backwards nervously - straight into Obi. His hands rested on her shoulders and he searched the crowd too, “Y/N… you’re shaking.” Obi had heard about the stranger in the crowd and he had been told by Hinawa that there was a problem with her last date, the Captain guided her back to the matchbox and searched the crowd one more time before ordering Vulcan to drive them home. They all kept an eye out from then on, the figure didn’t appear again but someone kept calling the station and hanging up, Vulcan noticed that the lock on the garage had been tampered with and one morning they found a bouquet of flowers left at the doorstep. It had gotten to a point where Y/N couldn’t go anywhere without an escort. — - “Maki, could you go tell Y/N it’s her turn to do the dishes?” The woman gave her Captain a nod and headed down to the garage where Y/N said she was going to grab a screwdriver to fix something in her room. She looked around and saw only Vulcan’s feet under the matchbox and Licht trying to convince him to help with modifications. They both seemed confused as Y/N hadn’t been there in the last half an hour, the three of them started a search throughout the large building and then there was a mass panic when no one could find her. Obi had been the last person to leave the station, calling ahead to Company 5 to see if they could spare some extra feet on the ground and then he would search the local area. The phone rang and he prayed it wasn’t an Infernal, “Company 8, Captain Obi speaking… Y/N! Where the hell are you?!” “I was taking out the trash and… I didn’t see him…” Obi pressed the phone closer to his ear, she sounded so faint, “Akitaru, I… I’ve been shot.” His blood ran cold as that sunk in.

[primetimewritings]

sweet rory aka @verorax tagged sage from my upcoming uni au, bright young things for the character profile tag! here’s your first look at my ofc sage wilder ahead of telling her story. hope to share it soon! 

rules: choose a few favorite photos/aesthetics of your tagged character, answer the questions below from their point of view, and tag some characters/authors you would love to see answer next!

1. How do you display affection? What’s your love language?

i’d like to think it’s through my sense of touch. maybe it’s from sharing a space and genes with my twin brother, but i have no sense of personal space. I value hugs, hands grazing an arm, an arm wrapped around my shoulders, head on my shoulder, you name it, i’ll eat it up. i must long for that closeness and feeling like i can rely on someone else to hold me up for once. 

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wish i was less stubborn, more laid back. i sometimes lack empathy with those i love because i can be too concerned with what i want. i can be like an ostrich with her head in the sand, oblivious to others’ opinions or words. i wish i had half of harry’s compassion and empathy. 

3. What is your ideal Saturday morning?

the usual morning at glazed doughnuts with harry, niall, and arlie, my roommate. we veg out on doughnuts and recap from the school week (as if we didn’t already spend those five days around each other). then i’ll usually go see my mom, maybe help her with the wedding plans (if she makes me), go out on the boat when it’s warm enough, and by nighttime, i’m ready to hit the bars or party at home. 

4. What is your drink of choice? Nonalcoholic? Alcoholic?

i’ll take a gin & tonic any day. i’m never without one in a bar, but i’ll drink a beer if it’s the only thing available. like really, is there anything else to drink around here? i’m also in a serious relationship with iced coffee. 

5. How competitive are you?

extremely. very. always. blame it on being an identical twin. i don’t think i’ve stopped competing in existing with my twin brother, ellis, ever since i was born after him (see? i was losing at birth already). because of our complicated relationship, I’m always on edge ready to defend myself or come to bat for those i love or care about.

6. When did you last have sex? Feel free to describe if you feel comfortable.

*insert guy blinking gif here* i have no idea the last time i hooked up with a guy. since school started and my mom’s tried to help me plan her wedding, on top of dealing with harry, another boy trying to win me over, and dealing with my own drama, hook ups are far down my list. go ask arlie, she’s better with this question

7. What is your idea of a perfect date?

watching the sunset on the beach. preferably with rose from the co-op that we picked up on the way. the sound of the waves sliding up the sand with the birds talking in the sky and the breeze caressing the dunes, i can’t think of a better spot. or sitting at a restaurant by the water, where my date will find it hard to concentrate on me or the view...and yet, i’m the view. 

8. What is your most treasured possession?

i’d like to think i have a couple for different reasons. there’s the thin gold chain I had locked onto my wrist from a trip to new york city with my dad when i was eighteen. it was a gift from him and everytime i look at it, i think of him and how i can never take it off, which means i’ll never forget about him, even when he lives in florida. there’s also the family photo i have in my room back home of my parents, my twin brother and i in palm springs when we were eight. it was one of my favorite trips i remember from my childhood and how happy i was in california, a feeling i’ve never forgotten. 

9. Would you ever get a tattoo? Do you have any?

i have several small ones! I’ve usually gotten them with harry in the wake of his latest wild hair to get a new one. we have matching ones on our ankles after our first semester of college. i have a pineapple inside my arm near my elbow too. i keep them small and inconspicuous, unlike my best friend harry. 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you experienced it?

i think it sounds like a fantasy. i don’t believe in love at first sight but i believe in true love that’s built and created, a process that can be beautiful and disastrous all at once, but that’s life too, isn’t it? i haven’t experienced it myself and frankly, i don’t know if i ever will after how my parents’ divorce crushed the idea of falling in love and staying in love for me. 

[leggomylino]

omgomgomg. the love of my life wen junhui + Hogwarts!au + meet messy + "I think I would rather eat expired spam" 🥺💕

au trope + prompt requests! Send me a trope, prompt, etc. and I’ll write a short story or drabble!!

AU Type: Hogwarts!au

Trope: Meet Messy

Prompt #38: “I think I’d rather eat expired spam.”

K-pop Boy: Junhui, Seventeen

~

Genre: Cute, Comedy, Harry Potter au

Pairing: Wen Junhui x reader

Word Count: ~1.1k

Warning(s): none

A/N: requests are open~ | Masterlist in BIO!! | For Zero 🥑 🥺💓

~~~

Wen Junhui stared at the mess of slop and expired condiments you had thrown together for the newly added Dorm Economics class. An elective extension of Muggle Studies, the class was incredibly similar to what the muggle world referred to as “Home Ec,” in which one studied the sciences and relation of how families and individuals interacted and cared for one another. Hogwarts now had a similar program, but rather than science, it dove deeper into analyzing the magic behind it, and taught simple tricks and spells to keep both oneself and relationships neat and organized.

Today you’d been learning how to create an edible charm guaranteed to stimulate the cells for twenty-four hours and provide good luck and fortune. Your friend DK had amazingly mastered the craft the week before and had been secretly selling them beneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field ever since.

You, however, were finding the formula a bit more difficult.

Jun continued to gape at the monstrosity you’d mixed together in half the time it was taking everyone else; you’d been wondering why it didn’t take you very long…

“I think I would rather eat expired spam.” He muttered, covering his mouth as he cringed the other direction. Your professor, Miss Mayflower, stopped her soft ramblings over the instructions to peek over your shoulder.

She, too, cringed. “Oh…Miss Y/n…how…very different and ambitious of you.”

The suspicious slop winked back at her. She let out a squeak and scurried on flat-slippered feet for a mess of towels and her wand.

Defeated, you sighed heavily, deflating over your creation that was beginning to attract flies. Jun only laughed, watching from the corner of his eye as Miss Mayflower rummaged around for her wand behind the desk. She was always misplacing it somewhere, which wasn’t exactly ideal in a class where fires and swarms of frogs were a constant danger from one small misstep or forgotten ingredient.

“Here…”

You blinked up at him, at this boy who you’d admired for some time as being one of the best students in the class, but never properly getting an introduction. With a flick of his broad yet delicate wrist, the mess you’d created went from disastrous to…what looked and smelled quite delicious.

It was incredible. “What did you do?!” You whispered happily, jaw dropped in amazement. You’d paced nearly five half-circles around that thing before Miss Mayflower finally arrived, too little too late (as usual).

“Oh…!” She nearly dropped her things. “Why, Wen Junhui has done it again I see!” She graced him with a pleasantly pursed smile, tapping the tip of her wand on the edge of the table. “Very well done. …Perhaps I should consider partner projects…” …And then she was off.

Wen Junhui only winked at you.

At the end of class some forty minutes later Miss Mayflower instructed each student to practice, practice, practice, just as she always did. You gathered your things and the heart-shaped charm, beginning to walk out with a cursory glance in Junhui’s direction.

Look at him. Swarmed by popular girls and Quidditch players asking him to do their homework. You knew there was no way—

“Oh, and class!” Miss Mayflower tapped her wand on the board. You stopped along with everyone else, only a few paces from the front door. Miss Mayflower smiled. “I think it would be just wonderful if you gave your charms to someone you care about. Though you’re more than welcome to keep them for yourself. Exams are next week!”

~

An hour had gone by. It was almost time for dinner, but you weren’t hungry. You’d lost your appetite after all the mistakes you’d made today, and the past week, and just about every day of Home Ec. It just wasn’t your strong suit.

But it was Junhui’s. He was good at everything.

You continued to stare at the stupid heart charm. And stare, and stare, and stare.

“AaaaaAAAAUGH—!!!” With haste-flushed anger you grabbed the dumb thing, throwing it over your shoulder and out the open window of your dorm.

But for some reason, it came flying back in.

You thought you’d heard something, so when you turned around, a heart-shaped cookie smacked you in the face with such force you stumbled back a few feet. That was definitely going to leave a mark; you were surprised the dang thing didn’t break.

The face of Wen Junhui came hovering between your eighth-story window frame. “Whoops! Sorry…” he scratched his head. “I wanted to make sure it got in! Guess I put too much oomph into it…”

He hopped onto the ledge, inviting himself in. You nervously held you breath, suddenly becoming aware of how messy your dorm room was. “Uh- um…”

Jun looked at you expectantly. “Yeah? What’s on your mind?”

You didn’t know. You suddenly had nothing on your mind. And everything. Your mind was a spinning blank canvas.

But Jun didn’t seem to mind. Instead he smirked, digging around in his robe pocket. “This is for…uuuh…” He glanced down. Then searched his other pocket. Patted all around. Shook out his broom.

He finally smacked a hand over his forehead, sticking his head out the window. “Aaah…DINOOOO!!! I told him not to eat it…”

You’re not sure why, but you laughed. Seeing him a mess was totally different from how you normally saw him: nice, cleanly, and organized— and it was altogether quite adorable.

Something warm crept over your cheeks. A fever, maybe? You had been stressed to the max lately…

Junhui wiggled his way back in, looking lost for words and a bit depressed. “…I…I’m really embarrassed…and sorry…” He sighed, scratching the bridge of his nose. Where he normally excelled at eye contact, here he refused to look into you curious gaze. “I……oh sheesh, I’d gotten…well, I mean, I made…I uh…”

You waited. He awkwardly cleared his throat.

“…I wanted to give my charm to you. I mean, the charm I made today. Y’know, so you’d have a good example to go off of. And um, I was thinking we could…be…partners? I MEAN, LIKE, study partners!!”

You had no idea why he was acting so strangely. But it was cute as ever to watch.

So you agreed. Why did the smartest kid in class want your help, though?

It was simple enough to guess when he asked you out a few weeks later.

You’d been walking down the hall to your dorm for another study lesson when a heart-shaped charm cookie came whopping you in the face. Alarmed, you stumbled backwards and whipped your head around wildly for the source, but there was no one around. The dorm hall was empty and silent.

Baffled, you looked down at the cookie now in your hand. A baked-in message suddenly made itself apparent to you in a graceful bloom of chocolate chip and caramel.

Will you be my study partner?

ㅁ Yes

ㅁ Of course

Given no other option, you cheekily checked both.

[jaimetheexplorer]

I brought down by niks latest interview.Saying "J never needed redemp.He was a guy who certain circumstances in his life e.g. Kingslayer so then he needed to redeem himself bc he did this horrible thing when killing the Mad King. Then N said the redemp arc where he had to be good guy, stay with Bri etc that's not GOT.You cant erase ur prev life.Jaime bel that redeem urself meant redeeming his past and he couldnt. He can't cut off who he was.The idea of leaving C alone is impossible to him" Wtf?

2/2 Downhearted anon. Just that interview makes no sense. In prev season interviews, wasnt Nik wanting Jaime to escape Cersei for good and be with Braime forever, like he was the biggest Braime shipper??? I dont understand. Does he think ppl don’t remember stuff? Its a shame theres no way to ask him about this.

Dear Downhearted anon,

I have to admit I read only a short excerpt from that interview, so I might have missed some of the other content, but, from what I read, this is what I can say.

There are different layers to his comments, IMO. One is the take on the story, and the other is the justification of the writing choices. And, as much as I might vehemently disagree with the former, what I take issue with is the latter.

When it comes to the take on the story, we have to remember that he has to talk about the actual content of the show. The show, unfortunately, did go with the idea that Jaime is essentially doomed to never escape his past. I do not believe that is his arc in the books for many reasons, and I think it was extremely underwhelming, nihlistic and unsatisfying even just taking the context of the show into account. But, unfortunately, nihilistic and unsatisfying is what we got. The show was aiming for romanticizing incest and abuse romantic tragedy with JC, in the end (I actually think there was a far more disastrous chain of events at play, which required multiple OOC developments for multiple major characters just to arrive to Jon killing Dany - but that’s a longer story), and it is what it is. He has to talk about the reality of the episodes, not the alternatives.

If you take most of Nik’s comments, and go back to read D&D’s and Cogman’s interviews from the past, you’ll notice that it’s mostly stuff that’s lifted straight from their quotes, even down to the language: “good guy/bad guy”, “he doesn’t have a redemption arc”, “it’s just life, and he has made some mistakes”. I don’t know whether this is because he had a “final season” briefing with them and came around to see things their way and agree, or because he was told this is what he was supposed to say about the story, or because even though he doesn’t agree with it, this is what was written in the end and so this is what he talks about. His reasoning for saying these things is anybody’s guess and kind of beyond the point. But, where before he used to have his own take on the character and his arc, he’s now basically regurgitating the party line.

For my part, I never completely disagreed with the idea that Jaime does not need redemption per se. Jaime doesn’t need atonement for slaying the Mad King, for sure. He needs recognition for that. He needs atonement for a other horrible things he’s done, but even those (e.g., pushing Bran, the incest) are more about moral gray areas areas than villainous behaviour per se, since he’s never committed atrocious acts just for his own selfish gain, or for power, or because he enjoyed hurting and killing. More importantly, I have always seen Jaime’s story as more of an identity arc, where redemption is just one component. In that sense, I can agree with the take that that he is a “complex character who, at times, has made some terrible mistakes”. Jaime is not, and never was, a straightforward villain who needs to atone for his sins. He’s a much more complex and layered mix of sins and honour, and goodness and idealism turned bitterness and cynicism, and a messy product of living most of his life in toxic and abusive environments who, in some situations, has committed some horrible mistakes that he needs to own up to and face the consequences of, and who is trying to redefine and reinvent himself in the aftermath of some life-changing events such as losing his hand, meeting Brienne and growing disillusioned with Cersei. 

The problem is that, while D&D preach about Jaime being a complex character who does not need a ‘cheesy’ linear redemption arc, they also, in the same breath, justify an ending that shoves him precisely into a clear, black-and-white, simplistic category (”he just accepts he is a hateful man”) or display the psychological depth of a 5th grader (go check out their take on the sept scene in their Oxford Union Q&A and their inability to think in any more complex terms than “good guy/bad guy” or to understand that not all “bad” actions are equal). They’re not deep writers, and that shows painfully in their execution. But I can understand the “no need for redemption” arc, from a theoretical/philosophical perspective.

What I take far more issue with is justifying writing choices by attempting to play the realism card, or the adult writing card, or the “this is GoT” card, basically implying that everyone who dislikes or criticize it is being unrealistic, immature or unsophisticated for not accepting the only inevitable outcome to a story (I wrote a twitter thread about it this week). Just because your story has decided to depict things in a certain way, it does not mean that that is the only realistic option for the story, and that people who expected/wanted/hoped for something different were fooling themselves, let alone that it had to be written that way because that is how life works.

Sure, there are people who fail to break away from their (abusive, traumatic, toxic, what have you) past and move on, but there are also plenty of people who do, and who end up thriving. One outcome isn’t any more realistic or true to life than the others. And, while some might think this is a hyperbole, it is highly irresponsible, IMO, to say that being unable to escape toxicity and your past is “the way things are”, when there might be people out there who do struggle with trauma, toxic and abusive relationship (or know people who do).

On top of that, it is rather silly to imply that we were expecting some unrealistic, too-easy scenario, where Jaime flipped a switch and totally erased his past overnight. That implication is misguided, at best, and dishonest, at worst. We put up with four entire seasons of show-only “non-linear” storytelling when it comes to Jaime, and were incredibly patient with it. Wasn’t the point of those four seasons precisely to show that life is complicated and he couldn’t just let go of his past so easily? We watched that. It happened. Nothing about this was easy or unearned.

Had we been shown a Jaime who was 100%, stupidly and completely devoted to Cersei at every turn, cruel, evil, selfish and not caring about the innocents, of course expecting an outcome where he just leaves it all behind for a honourable wench or what have you would have been a ridiculous expectation to have. Indeed, back when Jaime did come across as that kind of character, nobody was expecting anything from him. He could have died with Cersei under those bricks and most wouldn’t have cared.

Instead, for years, we were shown a Jaime that did struggle between his toxic past/Cersei and his honour and, far more often than not, we saw his honour win out. While I can see an argument for saying that didn’t guarantee an outcome where he did break free of his past for good, it’s not like like there was no buildup or seeding for the more positive, less nihilistic alternative. So I don’t find it so far fetched to have expected the events of S7 to be the last straw that finally tipped the scales completely to the other side (especially considering how 8x02 was written very heavily to imply just that or, at the very least, did not seed any doubt).

By Nikolaj’s own admission in TONS of interviews, he had been fighting with D&D for years because he expected things to move in a certain direction and kept getting frustrated when they didn’t, or when they confused him. He wanted the exact same things we wanted for Jaime and in his relationships with Cersei and Brienne since SEASON 2. He might have resigned himself in the end to having lost the battle, but he behaved exactly like us for years. So, assuming he believes what he is saying, if I could talk to him, I’d ask him how is it that he got the same feeling of “expectation” for something that in the end never came? Maybe because the seeding for both options were there all along? Maybe because, if the seeding for both options were there all along, the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all? Maybe because if the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all, then what we got isn’t the only inevitable way this could go down? Food for thought.

Of course, I want to believe that he isn’t that tone-deaf and unsophisticated as an actor (and a writer) not to realize that the only problem with the way Jaime and JB were written in S8 was not the fact that they didn’t get a HEA. Ignoring the writing quality, for a moment, and just focusing on the writing choices, there were literally dozens of ways of writing a story that ended even in a similar tragedy (EVEN with Jaime dying with Cersei), that would have been far better and more satisfying than what we got. The problem isn’t that Jaime didn’t declare his everlasting love for Brienne or that he didn’t stay together with her. The problem is that we patiently waited through all the buildup and seeding mentioned above, for years, for a relationship that ended up being butchered within 30 minutes, destroying literally everything it ever stood for (first and foremost trust and respect - I am not going to list everything, but Jaime trying to sneak out without so much of a goodbye and being completely indifferent to her pain after she vouched for him and saved his life multiple times was not only OOC, but completely unnecessary to the plot, unless it aimed to destroy the foundations of their bond, way beyond the romance).

To conclude, I’ll leave you with GRRM’s own words, when asked about Jaime’s redemption arc that he, unlike the show, has explicitly stated he wishes to explore:

“I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there’s no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then?”

The show decided that the answer is that we don’t escape our past. We are doomed from the beginning and any attempt to change and move on is eventually futile (and that ended up being true of nearly every character in the show, not just Jaime). But that doesn’t seem to be at all the stance GRRM has on this whole thing, and I would dare anyone to tell me that GRRM’s vision and his writing are inferior, too easy, or less realistic than what we got from the show.

There’s no guarantee that Jaime will survive in the books, or that he and Brienne will get a HEA (although I do not rule it out at all).  But the fact that the man who invented these characters and this world has a different stance on Jaime and redemption automatically invalidates any nonsense show people can say about how this was the perfect and only way it could end, and that expecting anything different from this series was wishful thinking.

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, PARKER! You’ve been accepted for the role of LAERTES. Admin Minnie: It’s absolutely not a secret that we’ve been waiting for Lawrence for a long time, and boy did you deliver. Your characterization was distinct, your voice was so clear and your plots — Parker, your plots had me so excited and literally vibrating in my seat to see it all unfold. And trust me, I just came back from a long day of meetings and hours of driving and a flight; it took a lot for me to feel energized this evening. The way you brought Lawrence to life was so vivid and unforgettable in your application, and I have no doubt you’re going to do the same on our dash. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Parker

Age | 19

Preferred Pronouns | He/him

Activity Level | So here’s the tea, right? I’m a college student who never learned how to set up a schedule that doesn’t suck and am highly involved in student government because I am poor and it pays for my housing and meals. So when it comes to the school year, I’m busy. I’m hella busy, so I’ll probably do replies on the weekends and at ungodly hours in the morning for the vast majority of the year. However, this semester is coming to a close and as long as I survive finals, I’ll have five weeks where I can be on every single day!

Timezone | Mountain Standard Time (MST)

How did you find the rp?  | My cousin showed it to me during Thanksgiving, of all the wacky things! She’s big into RP and she knows how much I love Shakespeare, and she thought I’d like this group. I thought I’d try and enter her world and see if I also like RP’ing/actually writing consistently with a set goal in mind.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Laertes - Lawrence Alvise Vernon. I absolutely adore Kendrick Sampson as Lawrence, so no faceclaim changes from me!

What drew you to this character? | So, I have a gut feeling this is going to get pretty long, so please bear with me. I think the first part that attracted me to Lawrence was the character he’s based off of. Hamlet was the first Shakespeare play I read, liked, and understood (though not in that order I don’t think). It was really awesome to see a character from something that had such a huge impact on me and what I want to do with my life still open and available! And Laertes is so important to that original story, even if the tragic Danish boyfriends overshadow him in the general story and in the fandom. The OG story doesn’t function as a tragedy without Laertes and the emotional impact of that last act and a half is only tear-inducing, to me, if Laertes was there. The story just needs him there, you know? One of the reasons I picked him to apply with is because I hoped the same could be said about the story of Diverona and I wanted to play that kind of role in a group filled with characters I think are awesome.

But it isn’t all source material that lead me to pick Lawrence, oh no! Lawrence is, as his bio shows, driven by a near all-consuming need for approval. He’s willing to keep pushing towards and striving for goals that would be completely out of reach if it wasn’t for his absolute, burning need to prove that he is capable of meeting those goals and surpassing them. For Lawrence, he expects that one receives love only if its been earned. He was never told that he was enough on his own merit and so the idea that he, as a person, is worthy has never crossed his mind, which is an absolutely tragedy! However, it’s something I understand and looking at that aspect of his character, I felt I’d be able to do it justice because I deal with a very similar thing far too often for it to be healthy.

However, there was one part of  the bio that convinced be Lawrence was the character I had to try and get into this group with. Lawrence is a genuinely good person that has had to push that goodness aside to become someone his father prefers and someone his father would give the underboss title too. He isn’t, as you stated, cruel, but he has learned that in order to advance, he has to step on people, he must control every little itsy thing, and he must, above all, be perfect. But! Despite all these lessons, he is still a good egg! A good bean! I really appreciated you all making sure that was evident in his bio and it was really the thing that convinced me to apply for him!

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

Plot One - Little Sister, You’re All That I Know: So, we’re starting off with the most important plot of all, said from the perspective of another older brother to a younger sister. From what I can tell, the Vernon siblings are both extraordinarily in love with people, but not because of any other reason than the fact that they’re people. Or, at least, they were, up until Lawrence got so angry at Verona for daring to kill his father that he single-handedly took up the pitchforks and torches to make those responsible for that death pay. In the meantime, he’s managed to completely smother and override his sister’s opinion and free will which is so incredibly not good, even if it is well-intentioned. I want Lawrence to learn to back off, to trust his sister, and to learn that as strong as he is alone, he’s much stronger with his sister at his back. I imagine the jumpstart for this would be Odessa doing something really awesome, maybe even saving Lawrence’s life. By proving in a very direct way that she would be able to look after herself, that would allow Lawrence to begin backing off, to release the reigns of control, and trusting her to take care of herself in a way their father never imagined. Unfortunately, Lawrence is stubborn. He won’t change unless someone else kickstarts that change by being extremely impressive. Which is… Not ideal but it is, however, the only way I see that change happening.

Plot Two - Throw Me in the Delorean and it Never Happened: The thing about anger is that it is all-consuming. The thing about vengeance is that it is blinding. And the thing is: when you’re running on both and only on both, you are going to make a mistake. Lawrence is so desperate to be perfect that realizing he made a mistake would be devastating. So you know what I want? I want him to make an absolutely disastrous mistake and I want him to kill the wrong person that he was convinced was involved in the plot to kill his father. Think of it as his own blind stabbing through a curtain without checking to see who was on the other side. I want it because there is nothing like realizing your oopsie resulted in the loss of someone that should have seen the next sunrise to shake the foundations of your conviction. It would be perfect as it would show Lawrence he isn’t infallible and he isn’t perfect, no matter how hard he tries to be Personally, I’d love if he makes a go at a Montague and is forced to also check is loyalty and conviction to the family he’s worked with since he was a little boy. This could easily evolve from him keeping an eye on someone and completely misinterpreting what they’ve been up to and acting rashly. I feel like his failure of judgement would leave the Montagues shaken and reeling and it would further destabilize the city, which is frankly a big yes please from me. I also want Lawrence to try and cover his failure up and fail miserably. That’s really just because I feel like it would be a very interesting character study to see how Lawrence deals with trying to hide the evidence of his imperfection and doesn’t have a lot to do with Verona as a city, but alas, I am just a humble writer too focused on the golden boy and recognize that aspect of this may not come to play at all.

Plot Three: The Beauty of a Broken Bust: In the biography, you wrote that “he was put on a pedestal so high that a fall might’ve shattered him”. That foundation he’s on isn’t the sturdiest of things at the moment, considering the person that made that base is now dead. So, I want him to shatter and break apart. I want the pieces that had made him up, the pieces that he has forced to make him up to go flying to who knows where, leaving Lawrence with nothing else to do but to rebuild himself entirely without his father’s influence. This would change his perspective on the war as well as his relationships with nearly every character in this RP. It would also force him to confront the actions and choices he made while trying to become someone his father would be proud of. I truly believe this is something he must eventually go through because the person he is trying to be for a dead man isn’t sustainable nor is it healthy! Something has got to change and that something is code for Lawrence. I can see this happening because of the death of his sister, a very personal betrayal from inside the Montague family, or from the plot I mentioned directly above. If Lawrence stays the way he is, however, he’s going to burn himself out before he can give the Vernon name any sort of justice and he has to accept that. The issue with this plot is that he’s so stubborn and this happening would require a push so strong I’m not entirely sure I want to see it. (That’s a lie, I absolutely do want to see it, but my internal dramatics insisted that I state it that way.)

Plot Four - Now Would You Kindly: Now, I know y’all said three plots and I hear you, but I have more ideas and I want to share them! The first of these extra ideas is that it is a truth universally acknowledged by Montagues, Capulets, and Vernons alike that Alvise was not a good man. Lawrence knows this, Roman knows this, the pigeons that litter the city know this. I want evidence of his wrongdoings to come swinging back and to slap Lawrence so hard that he’s forced to question if the footsteps of his father are ones worth following. Maybe it’s in the form of letters of blackmail or an investigation into how many innocent people he helped kill, but I want it to happen and I want the evidence to be so overwhelming it almost drowns Lawrence. He’s spent a very long time pushing down what he wants to be for what his father wants him to be and I want Lawrence to question if it’s really been worth it, if that kind of person has been worth the outrageous effort he’s put in to make it happen. And maybe that person isn’t someone Odessa wants to be related to, which is something I think would absolutely impact Lawrence’s decision. She is his last living blood relative, after all.

Plot Five - I’m the King of the Castle: In Lawrence’s mind, I have no doubt that he believes he should be the Montague underboss now that he is back in town. He has, after all, fought for it, cried for it, and killed for it. However! He is not the underboss and that has no doubt rubbed him the wrong way. So, I want him, in his crusade to avenge his father, to also do his best to prove how perfect he is for the underboss role. I want him to leap into impossible jobs and to push down his morals yet again and brush on a mask of cruelty because he wants it, he deserves it, and it his in his name and therefore his legacy that he has the blasted title of underboss! He needs to fight for it and I want that fight to be obvious and also just flat-out brutal to observe.  I don’t know if I actually want him to get it, if I’m being completely honest. Him having the title also raises some issues about what he did to get there, issues I want to explore, however I feel that such a role would push Lawrence too far in one direction on that vague scale of morality and loyalty he currently exists on and I kinda want him to keep waffling on it for as long as possible. This could change however! Especially with plotting. And I recognize that, so I will say that the core of this plot is his fight for the role of underboss and less about what would happen if he got it.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yeah, I’m ok with that! It would really suck, especially given how the Vernon family has been absolutely just. Destroyed. Uprooted. Left unmoored and drifting in the wind like last week’s laundry. But that same instinct that tells me that killing Lawrence would a) sprinkle in some awesomeness that is the original source material in a very satisfying way and b) would upend Verona even more than its already been, giving and taking motivations from people and maybe driving the rest of the Montague family just absolutely over the deep-end, which I would pay actual, real-life money to see. The slow destruction of the Vernon family is the slow destruction of Verona herself which means there is some drama to be had in Lawrence’s death! And I do love drama.

IN DEPTH

In-Character Interview (I only did two, please let me know if you want more!):

“What has been your biggest mistake thus far?”

Lawrence swallowed, face kept carefully still to give nothing away. Answers sprung to the tip of his tongue, eager to leap forward like hounds released from their kennel, but opening that door would destroy a lot more than just Lawrence’s reputation. Indeed, the perfect tool should not have so many answers to that question, but perhaps, Lawrence mused, his time away had done something to his obedience.

He stalled for time by taking a sip of the drink he had been neglecting in the warm Italian air. It was now unpleasantly lukewarm as the golden heat of the day made its way into the glass but it was better than nothing. It was only as he took a small sip that an answer sprung to mind, one that was both truthful and good for the image he was attempting to maintain.

“I have to say it was leaving the city,” he commented, returning the glass to the table. “I… left for reasons I am proud of, especially because there’s nothing wrong with being educated in this world. But if I had stayed, I could have done something!” Lawrence’s fist hit the table, making the glass and girl across from him jump. The sudden burst of temper was gone as quickly as it had arrived as his hand opened and his shoulders relaxed. “If I had stayed, this all wouldn’t have happened and a great man would still be with us. But I didn’t and now my father is dead.” He shrugged, meeting the girl’s eyes and hoping she wouldn’t see the emotion carried in them. “If I had come back earlier, Verona would be a very different place.”

“What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?”

His jaw clenched so tightly, a particularly attentive listener could hear his teeth protest the treatment. Lawrence’s hand held the chair like it was the only thing keeping him from leaping across the room to punch the smugly smirking man in the nose. “Just because I’ve only recently returned,” he gritted out, “does not mean I have gone turncoat. There is nothing,” he spat out, “nothing in this city more justified or honorable.”

His body eased the tension that it had so rapidly adopted as he noticed the nervous twitches and aborted movements to concealed weapons that had begun filling the room. As he eased, the rest of the room did too. “But you’re wrong,” Lawrence continued quietly, though there was no mistaking the vehmance leaking from his mouth like poison. “This isn’t a war. This is justice long overdue and more than earned. To call it a war is to imply the Montagues are not fully in the right.”

Lawrence took a deep breath, exhaling some of the passion he had been speaking with not long before. “I wish it wasn’t the loss of my fath–” His voice cracked and Lawrence swallowed, once, before continuing. “Alvise that had caused it, but it is only makes this city all that more dangerous for the Capulets. Because now I am back in Verona and I am coming for every single one with Vernon blood on their hands.” Perhaps it was dramatic, but the ice-cold certainty that hung in Lawrence’s voice stole any humor from the proclamation.

In-Character Para Sample:

He was eight years old, holding a pistol in shaking hands barely large enough to operate the thing. A slowly expanding puddle of red licked at his new shoes, staining them from cream to what would, by tomorrow, be an ugly brown. The shoes were what Lawrence focused on, the shoes and their new color. Because if he didn’t, if he looked up, he’d see the man slumped against the wall like a marionette without strings. If he looked up, he’d see the evidence of his actions.

Larger hands took the gun from Lawrence, trying and failing to be gentle. He wasn’t large enough to stop Alvise, though he wouldn’t even if he could. If his father took the gun, he could also take the body and the unbearable weight of its existence. Lawrence knew his father could fix anything, make any problem go away, and so he let the gun go. Maybe his father would fix this too. The two said nothing to each other as large men quietly entered the room, cleaning it, restoring it under the watchful eye of a king of Verona. Lawrence kept his eyes on his shoes.

Before long, Lawrence had been bundled into a car. The gun and body were gone as were his shoes. The next morning, there would be a new pair of shoes, cream and pristine, sitting at the foot of his bed. They stayed there, untouched, until Lawrence outgrew them.

He was thirteen at a new school, all restless energy that danced under his skin because, for the first time in his life, he was allowed to play a sport. He chose football, of course, but the black and white ball came with strings he never anticipated. Fitness was never the problem, it was balancing practice with everything else. Which bruise came from cleats and which came from fists during sparring was never an easy distinction, but as he got better at the sport, he began to look more and more like a poster child for the American Child Services.

It was a lack of sleep that ultimately did him in, made him sloppy. Alvise pulled him aside one Sunday morning before the sun graced the tops of Verona’s rooftops and told him to choose, choose between the sport and his last name. It was presented as a choice freely given, but the look in Alvise’s eyes made it clear it was anything but.

Lawrence quit the football team the next day, despite thinking that if he just kept with it, he could have made the national team. Somewhere, in a shoebox in the back of a closet, are a barely-used pair of cleats.

He was sixteen, armored inside a jacket of patches and studs, the handmade messages stitched to the outside screaming his fury at the world. There was a funeral scheduled that afternoon and Lawrence wasn’t going to be able to make it. The jacket weighed heavy on his back as he cursed Verona and the Montague name for letting his friend, the only one not tied to his father’s world, die because of it anyway.

But Lawrence was needed elsewhere that afternoon, Alvise’s steady gaze still hanging heavy across his back though the man had left some time ago. That coffin was going to go into the ground and with it, the boy affectionately nicknamed “Ray” by the body in that coffin was going to be buried too. The patches that the two had spent so long on, the quiet acts of teenage rebellion and freedom would join the nickname, and Lawrence would once again become the son of Alvise.

No one among the Montague family was going to mourn the dead civilian from two weeks before. No one but Lawrence, and he screamed it from the rooftop. It was only when his throat ached and the fire inside him was less of an inferno that he left the roof and changed into a suit. Alvise needed him elsewhere, and he was never one to disappoint. Lawrence pretends he lost the jacket, even though he knows exactly which trunk it’s collecting dust in.

He was twenty-two when he took the role of captain, the final stepping stone before Alvise’s throne, it seemed. It struck him like a plank of wood across the face when he realized being a Vernon wasn’t enough. His soldiers would listen, and yes, they’d do what he’d ask, but they lacked the respect they gave his father. For the first time, he needed to be more than a Vernon and he rose to the challenge with relish.

He never learned to address them like his father, a man who had perfected the harsh bark that made every muscle in a body snap to immediate attention. That seemed to be a skill reserved exclusively for the man Lawrence knew he needed to become. He never perfected it, but he did learn how to get close enough to command respect and the focus of a room. Then the Vernon name dripped from those around him, praising him for how like his father he was. But that wasn’t enough anymore.

He was twenty-four when he left Verona, determined to outshine his father. It wasn’t enough to just be a Vernon, he had to be better than that. He doesn’t talk about that time with Veronans, the free laughter and the hours spent in a library, writing essays on things he only cared about because they were things to outdo his father. But even as Alvise hung like a ghost over his shoulder, he was still thousands of miles away. His weight that had hung over Lawrence was lifted, and it was only when it was gone he realized it had been there at all.

He would never say it, but his time out of Verona was possibly the happiest times he’d ever had.

He was twenty-eight when Lawrence got the phone call that his father was dead. He is twenty-eight still, but his hands still shake when he fires a gun. He is twenty-eight, and he sneers when someone on the national team fails to score a goal. He is twenty-eight, but anger towards the Montague family still overtakes him at times, clawing at his throat and heart, begging to be released. He is twenty-eight and he has still not learned how to deliver orders like Alvise. He is twenty-eight and despite it all, Lawrence Vernon is his father’s son. He carries a torch alongside his father’s name and even though he is not Alvise, he has never let him down and he has returned to Verona with a bag of clothes and the Vernon name. Wars have been fought with far less and Lawrence has been fighting every day of his life for his father.  He just never thought he’d have to fight Verona.There was a time for goodness, but now is the time for success.

Extras:

This app was submitted through Lawrence’s mock blog, so feel free to peruse it!

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰👑👑🐲⚔️ DMODT 68 - full draft? Feedback appreciated

Levi wasn't expecting Eren to stay away for longer than a day. He definitely didn't expect a week to pass with Eren refusing to see him. Armin had sought him out two days after Eren's disastrous birthday to inform him that Eren had requested space and time. Then again the following day to inform him that Eren had met with Willy, and though the beta had been present, he refused to discuss what had transpired at the during the meeting, stating that it was Eren's business to share. He did mention Willy had extended his visit for an extra week, and that Eren would be meeting with him again before the alpha left for Marley. Armin's loyalty to Eren was admirable, but Levi fucking hated it. Eren was hurting, having never allowed himself the proper time to sit down and think through Zeke's death. Maybe they'd rushed things. No. They'd definitely rushed things. The last few weeks of Eren's pregnancy had essentially been like a heat for his mate. While he'd pushed to get things done, he'd also used sex to escape reality. Levi knew it. He knew it and he still let it happened because Eren had come back to him. He'd chosen him. After everything, his omega had come to him for assistance, and he'd offered up his dick. Perhaps this fight was a blessing in disguise. A spacer between them before things could grow worse... So why the fuck was it so fucking hard to function without his omega by his side? Having nothing but time to think, Levi knew he'd pushed Eren too hard on his birthday, and deeply regretted snapping as Eren was preparing to leave, yet now he also had a new perspective on their relationship given the space. He'd been trying too hard. He'd been trying to force his love on Eren, and accepting every bit of abuse hurled his way because of it. That wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted. Nor was it healthy for either of them. He knew Eren was physically well with his magic having not returned. He'd stopped asking over every spiked fever, and every prolonged bathroom trip. He didn't understand what it was like to give birth, though he did understand that now their child was there, Eren felt lacking in every single way... and he had long before the birth. His mate couldn't figure himself out when he was being consumed by misery, that Levi unknowingly piled on top of. Leaving Eren in Armin's care wasn't ideal. Neither of them could care for themselves if battle was to erupt within the castle. Eren may be able to swing a sword thanks to his dragon strength, but that all depended on if he even thought to raise said sword in the first place... Yet, he also couldn't deny that leaving Eren by Armin's side might just be what the omega needed. Armin needed training on being a prince, Eren needed a project to distract his mind and lift his spirit. It... was... it was hard. He missed Eren, and he missed his sons. He missed holding Viren, bathtimes, change times, feedings and cuddles. He missed watching him sleep, or watching Eren holding him. He missed Luca's attempts at stealing food. He missed the dragon curling up in bed with them. He missed the way he played with his rocking horse and the sound of his nasally snoring. He missed bath times with Luca chasing bubbles. And he missed Obsydin being content enough with everything that he didn't provide a running commentary of all Levi's greatest fuckups to date. At least he could take some small comfort in not being the only one Eren wasn't talking to. Telling Armin he'd needed space from alphas, that meant Mikasa was also on the outside for now. He'd left his chambers less than a handful of times since Eren left him, and only once he'd seen the female alpha. She'd looked about as happy as he felt over everything, but if Eren was distancing himself from her too, he really must have a fair amount to sort through. 9 days after their fight, Levi received his first peace offering from his mate. An invitation to dinner, just the two of them, in Armin's chambers. He assumed it was just the two of them... Eren had written that "he'd be having dinner at 7 and invited him to join if he felt so inclined"... Having decided that it was time for new order in the kingdom, Armin had taken the royal bedroom for his chambers. The beta didn't have the same issues with the space that Erwin had. He didn't want to sit as some kind of shrine to people he'd never known. The little prince had more balls than his brother in that department. Uncharacteristically nervous, Levi triple checked himself in the mirror before making the walk through the castle to Armin's chambers. The guards at the door were enjoying their own dinner a few metres down the hall, Levi giving them a wave before knocking on Armin's door and waiting. It was still weird to even be in the part of the castle. Like he was breaking some great taboo... because Erwin would have fucking hated it. Forced to wait for a few very long moments, Armin opened the door for him, sighing as he did. The beta looked exhausted, causing Levi to wonder if Eren had been just as emotional and moody with him "Eren said you were coming, come on in. He's... probably still working and hasn't realised what time it is yet" "Working?" Armin shook his head, hand going to Levi's shoulder to push him along in front of him "I'll let him explain. He'd through here, I have no idea why my the royal chambers needed chambers off of them. Seriously. Luca, Viren, Eren, and half the army could have their own rooms here. It's stupid" "Has he... been ok?" "Nope. I'm not getting involved" "Armin, I asked if he was ok. Not his every move" "I know" Lead through into the chambers Eren was using, Luca leapt off the bed to come running at him, before launching himself up and leaving Levi to scramble to catch him "Hello, Handsome Boy, did you miss me? Daddy missed you" Granting him a particularly wet kiss in the form of his running his tongue up his face, Levi took that as a yes from Luca "I have a dinner arrangement of my own, mostly involving cake in bed with some serious reading. They hid all the best books in here. I'll let you know what the food arrives" Armin retreated, Levi moving Luca to bundle him up in his arms and against his chest. His son a mess of tail and feet as he trilled happily. Carrying the young dragon over to the bed, Levi dropped down on the edge. Eren hadn't even acknowledged him yet, the omega sitting at the desk opposite the bed, Viren on his shoulder as he scrawled down something on the pile of papers in front of him. There was a heavy silence on the room while Levi was forced to wait. Luca had gotten impatient, wanting more pats, while Eren was still yet to look his way. Sighing to himself, he hadn't realised he'd sighed loudly enough to get Eren's attention "Sorry. I need to finish this proposal for tomorrow. I thought it would be finished by now, yet... here we are" Armin really had put Eren to work. Levi paused a moment, not sure whether to ask of not, before deciding he should "Proposal?" "Armin wants to replace people, and mess with customs. I have to figure out who to replace and with who. He also wanted to change the way vows are taken, and get rid of some of the sanctuaries for omegas. He seemed to think if things weren't the way they were, I wouldn't have been on the streets for two years. It's not like I was hiding it from him, and Mikasa, with the hopes they wouldn't figure it out. Now we're intending on employing nurses and doctors in sanctuaries. Masters are to be vetted before they take up that role too... He's got no idea" "Ah..." "Ah" what? How long were things going to remain this awkward? And was Eren alright working with magic? He didn't have his back "It shouldn't take too much longer. I want to get this out my head before I forget" "No. No, I remember too well what it's like" Should he have offered to help? But he didn't know anything about magic... Eren fell back into silence, other than the scratch of the nib against the paper. Luca was more than happy to lap up his attention... Viren must still be sleeping, as he hadn't uttered a noise since. Maybe he should go? But he wanted to talk with Eren. It'd been days since they spoke. He had so much to ask "I think I'm done, at least for now. By the sounds of it, Armin is about to knock on the door" Pushing his chair back, Eren walked over to the bedrooms door, opening it to reveal Armin with his hand raised to knock, and for some reason Willy was standing there with a tray of food. In his lap, Luca abandoned him for food "Those dragon senses of yours are as sharp as ever. Though you look even more exhausted than you did yesterday. I was hoping we could talk?" Why the fuck was Willy there? And what did he mean that Eren "looked even more exhausted that yesterday?", since when did Eren meet with Willy? No wonder Armin didn't want to say anything to him "I'm actually planning on having dinner with my m-Levi tonight" "I understand. I simply hoped I would be able to send word back to Marley that you've at least read through the papers Zeke left for you" Eren looked to the pile of paper on the desk "Not yet" "Then let us talk over dinner? Armin, won't you join us? There is still much I would like to talk to you about" At least Armin was kind enough to shoot Levi a sympathetic look "Willy, tonight really isn't a good night. I already have plans" "Then the three of us?" Eren looked over to the loaded desk "Lunch tomorrow? I still need to review those papers" Willy's face lost it smooth facade for a second, Eren not facing him missed it "Lunch it is then. Enjoy your dinner" Passing the tray to Armin, Willy gave a funny kind of half bow before leaving. His steps slow and stunted, as if expecting what Eren to tell him to wait, only for Eren not to. Placing Luca down, Levi took the tray of food from Armin "Thank you, Armin" "Good luck... and if you're staying the night, I don't want to hear anything" "You're about a decade too young to be lecturing me" "Hey. You get to go back to your chambers, I don't want to look at that door and think about you two... doing that" "Armin, relax. Levi made it clear about that. I was simply thinking dinner, but if he wants to go, then I'll go back to work" Levi hadn't made it clear. He'd tried to make it clear, but Eren had stormed off and left the argument hanging "No. You're having dinner with him, and I'm having dinner too. Enjoy the cake" "I swear you're just as stubborn as Nicollo is. He has to be onto you by now" "Yet, he keeps sending cake up. You're the one who said not to let the staff push me around" "I know I did. I wouldn't put it past him to send up just cake for lunch tomorrow" "I'm lucky you're here. Anyway, I'm going to leave you two to talk. I'll be reading if you need me" "Thanks, Armin" With the desk space taken Eren settled himself down on the bed, leaving Levi to carry the dinner tray over. At least with Armin and Willy there, Eren had been willing to talk. Laying Viren down on his pillow, their son yawned widely, before starting to cry. Sighing, Eren picked Viren back up "Has he been crying..." "He hasn't been settled if he isn't held" "Do you want me to?" "You want to?" What kind of question was that? He'd missed all three of his boys. Though Luca had abandoned him for food, his son had climbed up to rest his head on Levi's thigh. It seemed like his son's had "forgiven" him, but Eren was keeping a deliberate distance "I've missed him" "Here, take him then" Passing their pup over, his son was adorable. His eyes widened as they met Levi's, his cry cut mid-grizzle. Patting his swaddled bottom, Levi's whole face was filled affection for Viren. He didn't want to put him back down, and he definitely didn't want to return to his quarters alone again "Hello, baby boy. Hello. Look at you. I swear you've grown again. Knowing you, you've been happily drinking all your milk down" "They've both been fine. Luca has learned that too much sugar isn't as fun as he'd thought it would be, and Armin learned not to leave the bathroom door closed" "Oh?" "Luca used his bed. It was both funny and revolting" As long as Luca had access to a drain, their son was pretty well trained "I bet Armin loved that" "Loved is a strong word" Silence fell again. Since when was it so hard for them to talk... about anything. He didn't like this. He didn't like the way things felt "You mentioned something about cake?" Yawning deeply, Eren nodded "It's become a battle of wills. Armin requested cake for dinner as a joke, so Nicollo came up in person to see if he seriously wanted cake. As a joke, I told Armin to say he did. Nicollo insisted that Armin couldn't have cake for dinner, so it's been dinner for the last 5 nights. Armin's tired of cake, given he never really wanted it anyway, but he isn't backing down. Luca has even gone off of cake, he found too much of a good thing wound up with him vomiting and being very sorry for himself" "I truly thought he could stomach anything" "Dragons are not invincible, he also lacks magic" "I know..." He wasn't getting anywhere like this. Not with Eren being so distant. Perhaps he was just as nervous as Levi was? Or perhaps he'd decided their relationship had run its course. Eren was giving him nothing, seemingly happier to talk of Armin than to ask him about them "None of this is what I want to speak about. How are you?" "Working. Things are better working. Armin's arranged a small allowance for both of us. You for your knowledge on how this kingdom works, me for dealing with the magic side and such" "We're employed now?" What happened to leaving the royal court? Eren hadn't wanted to be here, and yet he'd taken a job? "For a time. We can't leave at the moment, you said as much" So it wasn't permanent? "Then for how long?" "A while. Things are complicated. We'll be leaving for Europe at the end of the month, there's also official throne business to jump through in order to abdicate, which I legally cannot do until Dina is imprisoned or hung. There are also other things to consider, such as my next heat. Armin isn't ready to lead alone. Despite Erwin's wishes, he wishes for you to be his advisor" "You're better suited. You know him far more personally than I do" "It's because I know him that personally that I shouldn't be his advisor. You can be impassive over decisions. I can't. Armin and I have discussed this at length. I also have Marley to consider, I cannot be his advisors when I have to clean the mess left up by Queen Dina. Please Levi, I didn't ask you to join me simply so we may fight again. Our sons miss their father" Marley... Eren was screaming he didn't wish to be prince, and now... He'd accepted that he was for the time being because of Willy. None of that should stand as valid. Not before Zeke's death, and not after like it did. Yet, it still didn't answer his question "I asked you how you were. Not Marley, Willy or Armin. You're acting distant from me, which leads me to believe either you're nervous or you've decided we're over and you don't know what to say. I didn't come here to fight. I came here because I don't know how you are, not when I'm in my chambers and you're here with Armin" "Nervous. Armin brought in a doctor to assess me because... well... the castle's healers don't exactly like that I'm part dragon. Upon completion of his assessment, he narrowly missed being punched in the face when he told Armin that omegas frequently come down with melancholy and that I seem to have caught the illness" "A doctor?" "Armin felt a second opinion was necessary. He refused to let me work until I was cleared. All we did was simply talk" "Wh-why didn't you tell me?" "Because I felt we both needed space. We were basically living on top of each other, and I felt we both needed a breather" That made sense. He knew how stir crazy it could get when you're trapped with a limited group of people nonstop. Still, he couldn't deny it hurt deep. He wanted to be Eren's foundation. He wanted the omega to be able to be open and honest with him. Instead, he found himself back on the outside of his own family unit "So you're doing better?" "A bit. Work and having something do helps. Should I take Viren back so you can eat?" "No, I've got him. You're the one who looks like you need to eat. Have you been getting enough sleep?" "I've been sleeping" "That doesn't mean much. A half hour nap can still count as sleeping. I know how you get when you have something on your mind" Eren let out a small snort "You know me far too well. I have been sleeping though" "Not enough. Your complexion is pale, and the bags under your eyes are bigger than saddle bags" "I didn't ask you to dinner so you could pick my choices apart" "I'm not picking them apart, I'm worrying about the father of my children and making sure you're not working too hard" "I'm not. Viren has been unsettled, that's all" "And it has nothing to do with the papers Zeke left for you?" Eren looked down to his lap, taking a deep breath before looking back up "Those are complicated. Zeke left instructions for my safety and wellbeing, and that of what he thought to be his son at the time of signing the forms. If something was to happen to him, I was to return to Eldia. The raising of the child left to me, and if something were to happen to Dina, I was to rule Marley. The stupid man said I was the kind of ruler Marley needed, because I was far too kind for my own good. He also left me some inheritance, and money for the child to be paid upon their 21st birthday. I've already put into motion rejecting the inheritance, for both myself and Viren. It's clear to everyone that Viren could only be your son, given the strong resemblance, but it's still complicated. The people of Marley believed the child that of their beloved prince. Dina trashed my name and blamed me for the death of Zeke in the Marley newspapers. She still has loyal supporters, but she also has even bigger debts. She promised shares of the resources of Eldia for military support, and now that she's been arrested and failed to pay, Marley is on the brink of being invaded. Given their royal family bloodline has come to an end, they'll be dissolving the royal household depending on Dina's outcome, and handing control to the military, which have already appointed Willy as their representative as the Tybur family is well travelled and friendly with a number of countries. A new peace treaty between Marley, Draecia and Eldia is also being drafted. The royal advisors keep insisting on changing various things, but they don't know that Armin and I submitted our own proposal with the help of Historia. She'll be joining us in Europe, but Ymir won't. That depends of course on whether she goes into labour between now and then. Given she's carrying a small clutch, and such. At the trial, I'll be presenting my story of how I was imprisoned, as well as my part in the war. Even though the dragons had been driven to insanity, I still attacked. I also need to testify as Zeke's widow, and just how I became prince. It's all ridiculous farce, and now I'm talking far too much about work. You should eat. I know you've barely been eating, or touching your tea, or leaving your chambers for that matter" That was a lot... and Eren really did seem to be doing better without him. With all this happening, where did he fit into Eren's busy schedule? When it was just the two of them, it was a given that Eren would be on his arm... and how did Eren know what he'd been up to? Forcing a joking tone, Levi moved Viren to his shoulder. The tea on the tray was probably cold by now "Are you spying on me?" Without hesitation, Eren replied "Yes. Just because I need space, doesn't mean I don't care for you. I can't keep fighting with you, or being selfish" "Selfish?" "Being constantly afraid. Relying on you for constant reassurance. Self destructing, and leaving you to pick the pieces up. Running to you for comfort because the world feels too hard for me to cope with at the moment. I'm selfish. I need the pat on the head. The gentle whispers. The constant affections of my alpha because I loathe myself. I'm tired and afraid. Not having my magic makes me feel as if I've been stripped and shackled again. Like I'm a prisoner in my own skin. I can't stand to look at my body. And I can't stand to look at you as I take my frustrations out on you. I'm not ok. Lesser omegas would have been institutionalised by now. I miss Zeke. I miss you. I feel as if I'm cheating of him with you, despite not being in that kind of relationship. I feel his life was cut short far too soon, and that he is yet another person I have killed. I feel like I killed everyone who died in this war personally. It's a heavy burden. I never thought I would become the devil, yet I have. But at the same time, I can't act like a military commander. I can't send people to their deaths for the greater good of the kingdom. So I run. When I'm working, I don't have time to deal with the loathsome being I am. I can just be a name on paper, then pass it on to be signed with no recognition of me and my work. I can be a normal castle employee. I think I did love Zeke towards the end, but it's very different being "in love with someone", and "loving someone". I love Armin as a brother, but I'm not in love with him. Once again, I'm talking far too much. To answer your question, I need to keep working. I can't sit still. That's why we're staying longer, though I will understand if you decline the position. I have been checking up on you, and asking over your activities. Space doesn't mean I don't care. Space means I care about you enough that I know things aren't working between us. I'll be staying in Armin's quarters longer, most probably until we leave for Draecia. There's simply too much to do" Levi sat in stunned and pained silence. He didn't want Eren out of his reach. He didn't want him staying here and working himself until the sun rose, or until he collapsed from exhaustion. He loved him, and needed space, but things weren't working. Wasn't that the same as breaking up? His alpha roared his pain in his mind, even Obsydin's pain could be felt cold and heavy in the back of his mind. His heart was racing, his throat constricted as if wrapped in thorns while his lungs couldn't remember what air was. He didn't want Eren to leave him. He didn't want to lose their family over a stupid fight "Levi? You're crying?" He hadn't noticed he was. Wiping at his face angrily with his free hand, he held Viren tighter to him with the other one "What am I supposed to say to my mate telling me he wants to break up?" "I... what? No. That's not what I said" "That's what it sounds like" "I'm not saying that" "You've made preparations for the next month without me in the equation. You don't want to be prince, yet you've bent your knee to Willy. You refuse to come back to our chambers, yet say our sons missed me. While sounding as if you, personally, didn't miss me at all. You were barely functioning in our quarters. You tried to, like the party. Like the dinner party. You tried so hard, but a week apart... you don't even need me now" "I'm not saying that!" "Then what are you saying?" "I'm saying we were on top of each other all the time. When's the last time you did anything for yourself?" "I was" "Looking after me, isn't doing something for yourself. When's the last time you went for a horse ride? Or for a run? Or spoke to Isabel and Farlan face to face? I was smothering you" "You weren't smothering me" "I was. I am. I'm clingy and I'm needy. I need you and your reassurance" "Then why won't you come back to our chambers?" "Because that's not a healthy relationship" "Did you decide this? Or that doctor of yours?" Eren blinked at him "Why would you ask that?" "Because you're my mate. My omega. And I fucking miss you. I miss you. You're here, even right in front of me, but I still feel like I'm on the opposite side of the castle. I don't know what you want me to do?" "I don't want you to do anything. This is about what I need to do" "And what? I just wait? Stand on the sidelines while you run off jumping into another drama?! You didn't tell me anything! The doctor? You couldn't have asked me to be there? In case I had my own questions over how I should be helping you? I love you, and you're planning this whole other life without me" "A whole other life? I asked that you be Armin's advisor! Which means we would be working together, while I still have space to work my head out. I never said I wanted to break up. I said we both needed a breather!" "I don't want a breather! I want you by my side where you belong!" "I'm useless at your side until I sort myself out" "Which you don't have to do alone! I know our bond is fucked to hell, but I still thought you knew the affections behind the mark. That I care about you and I want to help you!" "And I'm telling you, how I'm feeling isn't fair on you. I'm not the omega I was, and you're not the alpha you were. This is the fourth year since this thing between us started, and in that time, we've spent 20 months apart. 20. That's a huge amount of time, with the last 8 months of that being a complete and total... catastrophe. Do you want a mate who wants to hurt himself when he sees his own black scales? I can't even remember the shade of green they used to be! I hate how I am, and I need to figure stuff out! I... I just need me time" Their yelling upset both Viren and Luca. Luca letting out a sad trill as he tried to hide his face under Levi's leg. Viren starting to scream. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Levi felt almost punched in the face by the anger in his scent. He didn't want to be angry. But the thought of losing Eren... having him walk away... he'd rather die than be without his mate "This was a mistake. I should go" "Levi..." "No. Just... no. We both have things we need to work out, and I stupidly thought that that meant we worked them out together as we're mates. I was wrong. Here, take Viren. Heavens knows you're a better parent that I am" Passing Viren on, Levi was quick to exit Eren's bedroom, slamming the door as he went. Looking up from his bed, Armin placed his book down with a sigh "Levi? Are you alright?" "No. I'm pretty sure Eren just dumped my pathetic alpha arse" Opening his mouth, Armin was probably intending to offer words of comfort, Levi didn't want to hear it. Quick to flee the room, he had no idea what happened, only that he seemed to be the only one not to understand. * Sitting on the bed, Eren had Luca half in his lap with Viren on his shoulder. He had no idea what the fuck had happened. He'd heard what Levi had just told Armin. Levi thought he'd ended things with him. That wasn't it at all. He was trying to work on himself. Or he would have if he wasn't swamped with paperwork, and crying pup who hadn't settled for longer than two or three hours a night. He honestly hadn't meant for so long to slip through his fingers, his disastrous birthday still felt so raw, as if it'd only happened the day before. None of his decisions had been made lightly. He'd been a balling mess when he'd arrived on Armin's "doorstep", convinced that things with Levi were done after how mad he'd been at him. It wasn't like Eren could control the dark thoughts that flooded his mind, and he'd cried so hard that night he'd made himself physically sick. Right now, he felt just as pained as he had then. All he'd wanted was too cool their relationship a little until his magic came back, or his mind wasn't such a mess. Armin didn't speak as he let himself in. The beta simply moving to climb up on Eren's bed, to guide him into his hold. Melting into Armin's arm, Eren's tears finally spilled from his eyes "I didn't break up with him... I asked for space" "Oh, Eren. I didn't think you had" "He... was so mad" "Did you tell him you'd talk to the doctor?" "It made it worse! He thinks I don't want to rely on him! Not that I want space to work my head out... ugh..." He was going to be sick. After the other night, Armin knew all the signs as the took Viren into his arms so Eren could run for the bathroom. None of this was what he wanted. He'd been nervous as hell when Levi had shown up, then Willy had tried to invite himself to dinner. It wasn't a great feeling throwing his guts up. He'd thrown up more than he'd ever imagined during his pregnancy, and had prayed that would be the quota for the rest of his life. Having not eaten dinner, and having had a skint lunch, even once he'd thrown up everything he had in his stomach, his body kept trying to bring up more. Slumped over the toilet, Armin found him in his disheveled state given Eren wasn't able to gather his feet under him. With the patience of a god, his best friend got him up and cleaned up, before guiding him to his bed where Luca and Viren waited for them. Sitting him down on the edge of the bed, Armin wrapped his arm around his shoulder as he joined him "Should I talk with Levi?" Shaking his head, he didn't want his alpha feeling like he was being ganged up on "Ok... did you get to tell him about taking the job? So you'd have money for when you got your house?" "N-no... he yelled at me for making plans without him" Food, clothes, toys, books, seeds, furniture, bedding, soap, blankets, all of it costed money. He was hoping by having some kind of actual income, they'd have something more then just themselves when they finally moved out the castle. Everything in the world cost money, and he needed raw materials to mould with his magic. He could have the most magnificent orchard in the world, but it'd only be a figment of his mind without the seeds to plant first "I really think I should talk to him" "He wouldn't listen! I told him I don't want to break up! I want... I want to work on me. My stupid mouth ruined everything! You know how I get and I was so nervous... now I've lost my mate" Those words left him feeling like his heart had been physically torn out. He'd told himself he wouldn't place all his trust in Levi so easily after he'd left him, and now his heart was broken all over again "You haven't lost him" "I have. He was crying, Armin. He thought me needing space was a permanent thing..." Sucking in a deep breath, he started coughing immediately. Somewhat surprised he hadn't started coughing when he'd started crying "Ok... ok, shhh. I'm sorry" "I wanted... to be... the omega he deserved... you know what... I've been through... I want to be better... and work makes it better... and now I'm alphaless with a pup that's only three weeks old. I can't... I..." "Eren, shhh. Ok. It was just a fight. Couples fight all the time" "I can't... lose him..." "You won't. You won't lose him. I think right now you should get some rest. I know you've been working hard on that proposal, but it's not worth your health. If anyone says anything, I'll have them banished from the kingdom" "You can't do that" "You tell me to be more "princey", this is the price you pay. Here, sleep in my bed tonight. I've got the fireplace in my room, it'll help keep you warm. Especially with the storm you said was coming" "I don't want to... bother you. All I do is bother people" "You're not bothering me. We're brothers, remember?" "O-okay... this wasn't how tonight... was supposed to go" "I know. Here, let me move Viren for you. Luca's already climbing under the covers and waiting for you" "My baby boy... baby boys... I don't know how to be a mum without him" "You're not a mum without him... hey, can I ask you something?" God. No. He couldn't do the think, so why was he nodding "Why do you male omegas call yourselves mothers? Not fathers?" "We... don't all. Alphas used to call us that to degrade us... but... I loved my mum... I want to be like her. Not all male omegas use "mum" or "mother"... and I don't see it as an insult. They should try pushing a baby out" Armin winced "I'm so glad I'm not an omega. I thought I might like to be, but the birth thing... it's scary" "It's worth it... or it was... I ruined everything" "You didn't ruin everything. You're going to wind up making yourself sicker. You need sleep. Especially with lunch tomorrow" He'd forgotten about Willy... "The papers. I need to read the papers" "I'll wake you up early. Come on, don't make me order you to sleep. I'll get the tray from your room and make sure your papers are ready to read" "I'm being a burden" "No you're not. We've all been pushed to our limits. Everything has just been one think after another" Armin helped him up and under the blankets before laying Viren atop, between him and Luca. His son's soft hair against his nose. Being separated from Levi, he'd noticed over the last few days that their pup smelt more like his father than of him. It was just something more to love. Laying a thinner blanket over the pup's lower body, Armin put on a stern face "I expect you to allow your mother at least 4 hours solid sleep before your next feed" "It doesn't work that way" "I can still try. I'm just going to get that tray. You sleep" Even feeling as shitty as a giants loincloth, Eren barely lasted five more minutes before passing out, his pillow already soaked from his tears, as the sheets muffled his thick scent of distress. * Sitting on the end of his bed, Levi felt numb. He didn't know what to do or what to say... or who to even speak to. Hanji hadn't treated Eren with any of the respect he deserved, effectively burning that bridge. Armin would be with Eren, Mikasa hated him and Moblit would probably piss himself with fear if Levi told him he wished to talk about Eren. Isabel and Farlan... no. He loved them dearly, but that just wasn't the kind of thing you talked to them about. He didn't want to hear someone bad mouthing Eren, despite having been just dumped by him... How had this even happened? Roused from his thoughts by the cry of a baby, Levi blinked away the fog in his mind as he cast his gaze towards the bedroom door. Leaning against it, Armin was standing there with Viren bundled up in his arms. From the expression of Armin's face, it was safe to say that Eren didn't know he was there. The kid had balls to come here after what had happened "Shouldn't you be with Eren?" "He cried himself to sleep. I thought we should talk. Eren said he'd stuffed it all up, and while I promised him I'd let him explain everything and keep out of it, I don't particularly enjoy knowing you're both suffering over a misunderstanding" "He doesn't want me. What's to misunderstand there?" "He does..." There was a screaming "but" to follow, yet Armin let the sentence hang "But?" "It's really complicated. Do you maybe want to hold Viren? Babies still scare me. I'm afraid I'm going to drop him or hurt him, given how small he is" "Eren won't be mad?" "That I'm here, or that I stole the baby? Eren hasn't slept more than a few hours at a time since he came to see me. That's why I have Viren with me. He probably won't wake until mid-morning tomorrow. Though I did promise I'd wake in time for lunch" That was right. Eren was best friends with Willy now... Bringing Viren over to him, Levi was more than happy to take his pup into his arms "Eren had death threats" That got Levi's attention, his brow wrinkling in a way that would have Eren teasing him "Death threats?" "In Marley. That's what Willy wanted to talk about. Someone even cut off their tongue and sealed in a package saying "dead men tell no lies". He's not friends with Willy, and he doesn't trust him" "How did you know I had problem with Willy?" "The look on your face when I mentioned lunch. I know you think Eren suddenly wants to break up, but he really doesn't. He's trying to prevent war from sparking in Marley given the factions wanting to go to war want out resources..." Armin was apparently in a talkative mood. Yet, Levi didn't want to hear it "Good for him. If that's all..." "That's not all at all. No wonder you two ended up upsetting each other. He doesn't want to break up with you, nor does he want to lose you" "So taking a job without telling me is what you expect from your partner? Making plans to stay even longer after asking me to run away with him, that doesn't make any sense. He didn't want to be here, now he doesn't want to leave" "Eren would run away with you in a heartbeat. He really would if he didn't think he would be endangering you" Levi scoffed "Right. That's why I'm supposed to advise you, and he's buried himself under a mountain of paperwork with no consolation" "Everyone knows Eren always has to be on the move, that he doesn't handle sitting still. He was upset over how much everything would cost once you two left the castle and no longer had everything provided for you. And that you both fought, and that he couldn't seem to make you happy. He wanted to work for free to begin with, and I had to force a wage upon him. He wants to save up for when you two leave. For that house with the vegetable garden and space for your boys" Levi was shocked, now bitterly wishing he hadn't lost his temper. He thought Eren's work ethic was built out of his desire not to be with him... "I... he said he didn't wish to return to our chambers" "Probably because he took what the doctor said far too close to heart. The man essentially said that omegas were weaker beings who always came down with melancholy, and couldn't accomplish much of anything. He no longer has a medical licence. That, on top of death threats from Marley and fears of Dina's revenge has him scrambling in an attempt to keep his three most precious people safe. I know you're mad at him, and we both know he tends to get snippy when pushed too far by people he doesn't particularly like. Tonight his nerves got the better of him. He does love you. He was going to tell you everything, that's why I wasn't getting involved, but this is the second night he's sobbed himself to sleep in my bed after being violently ill. He seriously thinks he's lost you forever, all over again. Part of the reason he asked for you to be my advisor was to also protect me. People aren't exactly open to me actually being of royal blood. He's scared that if someone does make an attempt on my life, that he won't be able to protect either of us. He's put a lot of thought into his actions" "Actions he didn't discuss with me. We're supposed to be mates" Armin sighed in an exaggerated manner "I never would have guessed. You're both convinced the other one is mad at you. You both jump to the worse case scenarios, and your both obsessive about not hurting each other. Everyone hurts everyone else. People fight. People also need space to calm down. Eren wants space because he wants to figure out how to process everything that has happened. Especially fucking Marley. That was... horrible. He was so scared after seeing Luca hurt, then with bars on his windows..." Armin stopped to shake his head "He doesn't love you any less. He doesn't want to break up. Now stop being a stupid jerk. Your omega needs you to accept he needs space. He doesn't want to be away from you. He's not running away. He's not leaving the castle. You still get to see him every day. He'd just prefer to get his head back on straight, you stupid face" Levi let out a laugh before he could stop himself. Both men surprised at the sound "You're right. Not bad for a brat, it simply hurts when you find yourself pushed back to the outside after working hard to get back on the inside. I know Eren has issues, yet everything I tried seemed to only make it worse. The more I told him I loved him, the less he seemed to believe it" "That's because when you say it all the time, it just becomes casual. But what do I know? The only relationship I've seen around here is yours and Eren's, and that's... disfunctional at best. You're both frustrating. I hope you know that" "Eren may have mentioned it, one or twice before" "Levi, when you left him behind, it fucking broke him. He barely functioned for two weeks, then he had to marry Zeke to keep the peace. Marley was essentially a gilded jail, Eren not allowed to use magic or shift into a dragon because that was an act of war. He was then imprisoned by Marley in this castle, where all his friends and family were. He was waiting for us, and we didn't even find him. They kept him under control with magic cuffs and threatening to kill Luca up, then hang his body up so Eren could see. And don't even get me started on the whole baby thing. He nearly got rid of it because it "wasn't" yours. He'd be happy if he left, yet he's scared that would make you all open to attack. Once Dina is dealt with, his service ends. I told him he could leave, but he wants to stay until his first heat has passed given it'll be safer to have it here where he can be protected, and you won't have to race to have everything ready in time for it" He got the message. He'd fucked up good, and now Armin was rubbing salt into the raw wounds "Ok. I understand..." "I'm not saying you're not good for him. I know you love him. This is something he needs to do for himself. Now, I have to go back up to my chambers and make sure Eren hasn't noticed I've snuck out. I've got another spare room up there, for god only knows what reason. Do you want to stay there so you can be with your boys? He's been quite upset over you not being able to see them" "How mad will he be?" "Not too mad. I'm open to creative truth telling, of me not telling you what time to arrive for lunch, and Eren oversleeping" Levi's lips twitched as the corners rose slightly "If you keep that up, you might just be the best prince this kingdom ever had" "By lying to the people?" "No, with your creative truth telling. I'd like to spend more time with the boys" "Then get a move on. The longer we wait, the higher the chance we'll be sprung" Armin was a scheming little shit. His bright blue eyes, and soft blond hair, hid the mind of a criminal mastermind. If anyone was to make an enemy of the prince, he had a feeling they'd be royally fucked over in every single legal way, before they knew what hit him. For Armin, his words were his weapons. His tongue was shrewder than a shrew "I need to grab a change of clothes and my swords" "Now you're sounding like Eren... I should probably grab some of his clothes too... Now all I need is Mikasa to move in... God. Why does this place need so many rooms?!" "Ask the mages, they're the ones who keep the castle expanded with their spells" "I don't want to ask the mages. I thought it would be cool to learn magic, but they're all kind of weird" "Even Eren?" "Yep. But I can say that. Now stop procrastinating, and give me the baby. It'll be safer than you playing around with your sword and holding him. Mikasa gave Eren a sword for his birthday. Eren pulled out the knife you gave him and said he didn't need a sword. You should have seen the look on his her face. She told him that size mattered, so he told her only if you don't know what you're doing, and he liked the size of your one, now they're not talking again. But it was pretty funny at the time. Sorry. I'm kind of nervous you're going to yell at me or something, I don't think I've ever talked to you this much in my whole life. I might just take Viren and wait outside" Levi was sure he wasn't that scary. Certainly not since Eren had become his... Maybe he should work on that? Though, that would have to wait until after he and Eren had spoken... again, and hopefully he wouldn't fuck it up again... He'd like to think those closest to him and his mate knew well enough that he was placid provide Eren or their children weren't in danger. Maybe it was just Armin's clear nervousness over the situation? There seemed to be a lot of nervousness going around at the moment. Nerves. It was better than fear. Passing Viren up to Armin, Levi went about gathering everything including clothes for Eren. He didn't like that his mate needed space, but it was a better outcome than them breaking up. * Watching over Armin and Eren sleep, Levi felt like a stalker. Luca was spooned into Eren's hold, both of them snoring loudly while Levi sat across from them with Viren in his arms. Armin had been forced to wake Eren to let him know Viren needed to be fed, and his omega had been so dopey with sleep deprivation, he hadn't even realised Levi was in the room. This had resulted with Armin telling Levi to stay put with a hand gesture as he soothed Eren back to sleep. The young beta had tried to usher Levi into the guest bedroom, but his alpha and Obsydin wouldn't settle with Eren so clearly distressed. Besides, it wasn't like he hadn't had sleepless nights before. Quite unintentionally Levi fell asleep in the padded armchair with Viren on his shoulder. His wake up seemingly timed with the rising of the sun and of Eren, his mate was trying to lay a blanket over him without waking him, only for him to do just that when he stepped on Levi's toe by accident. With the world an uncomfortable grey from the hour of the morning, Eren looked even more fatigued than the previous night. The moment he realised he'd woke Levi, he jerked back as if he'd committed some great sin "Eren?" "I... sorry, I thought you might be cold" The fire in the hearth looked to have been recently stoked, the room did hold a slight chill, but that may also have been his nerves over being caught by his mate "I didn't mean to fall asleep" "Armin went and talked to you, didn't he?" "Apparently I didn't hear you out completely, so he came to scold me" "I... I never meant to hurt you..." "You were just being a stubborn brat" "What did he tell you?" "Enough. I can't say I like you being away from me, but if you are, I'd rather you be here with him" "I don't want to break up" "I know. But you also need to realise that it's hard for me to let you out of my sight. Not just for my alpha and Obsydin, but for me as me. I worry for you. What I wanted for us was to face things together, and to be equals. I didn't want to hurt you" "You're not the problem here. The problem is me. I don't feel like myself anymore" "And being with Armin is helping?" "He lets me work. It's nice... I'm not saying you didn't let me work, but I like trying to have a routine. Something more than sleep" "You're supposed to rest as you recover. I've been that you're still healing, and worry that you're pushing too hard too fast" "I could make a shit joke right now... but I'll restrain from it. This isn't forever, you know that now, right?" "Us or this job for Armin?" "This job... I was kind of hoping "us" could be forever, or whatever forever actually is. I don't do well with free time" "I know. But you do know that if we move, all you're going to have is free time" "Maybe. Maybe not. At least everything here will be in order when we do" So Eren didn't want to break up, and he still wanted to move. It wasn't like he didn't believe Armin, but he needed to hear Eren say the words for himself. Patting his lap, Eren raised an eyebrow down at him. Yes, he wanted to hold his omega now that he seemed to be forgive, or whatever it was, before he could put his foot in it again "No cuddling?" "You want to cuddle? I thought you wanted to watch Armin sleep" "I was watching the three of you sleep..." "With your eyes closed" "I'm an alpha. It's an alpha thing" "I'm sure it is, but wouldn't the bed be more comfortable?" "I... I don't know the boundaries to this space thing" "Well, it's ridiculous o'clock. Viren will probably need feeding. I'm assuming you changed him?" "You needed the sleep" "Let me use the bathroom, then we'll feed him and settle down. I'm still too tired to read Willy's stupid papers" Immediately Levi wanted to ask about the death threats, buuuut, a warm bed with Eren and the kids won out "Alright. You go to the bathroom, and I'll just sit around and wait while you take a shit" "That's the Levi I know and love... you do that right, that I love you?" He wasn't entirely sure... he still felt like this conversation was on a knifes edge with one wrong move costing him his leg, or the whole other half his being in this case "I do. I think I'm going to need some time to adjust, so I may end up making you mad" "Thank you for at least trying to understand... I... really don't want to lose you. God. Do you remember when we used to be able to feel each other so clearly we couldn't hide, or those times we both literally coughed stuff up... we're closer than ever, but our bond is so mess up... I really miss it. I miss feeling you close without feeling smothered... and oh, there I go again. I'm just going to go to the bathroom before my mouth decides it needs to keep moving on it's own" "Armin had the same problem earlier" "There's seems to be a lot of that going around..." "I was thinking the same thing..." Armin's bed was significantly larger than Levi's already overly large one. It was an easy fit for three adult males, a dragon, and a pup. To hold Eren in his arms again, felt amazing. His omega so warm and soft against him. His brown hair smelling of whatever herbal remedy his mate had been using, with hints of lingering distress. Levi could feel how wet the pillow they were sharing was. Sleep came easy to both him and Eren, Eren's body moulding perfectly against his, as if made that way by some higher power. Sleeping a few more hours, Levi woke to find Eren still fast asleep. Not completely sure why he woke, he found Armin staring at him. Whoops "Eren found me" "I gathered. Though I don't remember inviting you into my bed" "He did. He needed to use the toilet and Viren was hungry" "Did you talk?" "A little" There was too much blood in his tea-stream, and no will to do much of anything other than to hold Eren "And?" ""And", what?" "Are you two ok? Are you talking?" Whining, Eren wriggled back against him as he pulled the blanket back up over his shoulders "Shhh... sleepy" "We have to get up soon. We've probably over slept as it is" "Still sleeping" Armin sighed, while Levi's hand snaked up to find Eren's. Intertwining their fingers, he kissed his mate's shoulder "Despite the fact I am perfectly fine with having lunch in Armin's bed like this, I think Willy might have a problem" Eren made a noise of disgust, then burrowed down against his pillow "I'm awake" "Says you as you try to hide" "It's warm. And Luca's so cuddly, aren't you my baby boy" Lifting his head at his name, Luca quickly lowered it so as to not disturb Viren. The action was too late, Viren unhappy about his warm bedding moving as he started wailing "I'll take him" "He's probably hungry and needs a bath and a change..." Eren sounded absolutely exhausted "Let me take care of him while you get up? I can at least start cleaning him up" "No... it's ok... I'm trying to do that routine thing" "Why doesn't Levi help you, while I find those papers. I didn't actually look last night" "I gathered by the fact Levi is here" "Are you mad?" "Not as mad as Viren. Alright, it's up time" Levi had missed bath time, Viren was happy to wiggle and kick in the sink space. He'd missed his pup's chubby little legs and arms, and the way his lips pursed up before a yawn. While Eren washed Viren down, Levi knew he was being a pain by hovering so close... yet didn't make a move to move away. He loved them both so much, and there wasn't exactly anything he could do. Armin's bathroom had the shower head over the bath, where Armin was currently bathing with Luca. It's started out as Armin bathing Luca, after finding up Eren's paperwork for him, until the little dragon had gotten a tad too enthusiastic and Armin had been soaked. He was completely not jealous in the slightest that Armin showered and bathed in front Eren... not in the slightest... not after Eren assured him that all he felt when he saw Armin naked was limp. For a scrawny bookworm, he wasn't quite as scrawny as his clothes would have on believe. Coming out of his growth spurt, much of the baby fat that had clung to his frame was now lost, and Levi was forced to endure an eyeful of Armin's ugly arse junk... Definitely a beta... and a game beta to bathe with Luca's razor sharp claws so close. By the time the three of them were ready, there wasn't enough time for breakfast or for reviewing papers. Eren hadn't brought his clothes into the bathroom with him, then refused to walk around naked in front of him and Armin. Dutifully bringing his clothes over to him, Levi was granted a glimpse of his lover's naked form... and promptly popped a boner on the spot, that he was left to deal with alone in the shower. It didn't feel great, his hands weren't Eren's hands. He couldn't feel his love upon his skin, and his imagination hadn't supplied much in the way of material, reminding him that he was both in Armin's bathroom and that Eren had been distressed the previous night. It was more like a manual chore than a moment of release, his orgasm somewhat lacking despite the thick ribbons of cum down the shower wall. He missed his fucking mate. Dressed and joining the others, Eren raised an eyebrow at him before offering him Viren to hold. Leaning in the omegas whispered in his ear "I hope you remembered to clean up", before pulling back from him. And here was, thinking he'd been somewhat covert. Then again, he never usually took long showers without Eren there to wash and pamper. He loved washing his mate's hair, especially when it lead to Eren with his head tilted back and a dopey smile on his face as he purred under Levi's fingertips "Are we finally ready to go? Willy is probably waiting for us" Levi cleared his throat, he definitely wasn't about to apologise for needing to jerk off "Yes. Have you got everything?" "You and Eren have the kids, I have the papers... I don't think we'll need anything else... Eren?" "I can't think of anything. It should be pretty straight forward, though I still don't understand how I'm legally a prince" "I know. We've had this conversation, though it would be nice if you could rule Marley. At least I'd know for certain we'd never go to war again..." "Let's just go meet with Willy. The sooner it's done, the sooner he can fuck off back to Marley" Eren rolled his eyes, while Armin hid his snort of laughter with a very fake cough "Levi, you do realise you have to behave?" "You're acting like I've never had to tolerate an insufferable guest before. I'll behave, provided he does" Lifting Luca into his hold, his mate frowned down at their son "What's that supposed to mean?" It meant Willy was a slimy creep who had been getting far too friendly with his omega "Nothing. I simply won't tolerate him disrespecting you, that's all" "I can stick up for myself" "I know you can. I probably know that better than anyone here. I simply mean, I refuse to allow him to define you by your secondary dynamic, instead of you as yourself. I expect him to treat you with the respect you deserve" "Ok. That's enough you two. Levi, no fighting with Willy. Eren, accept that Levi loves you. I don't want to see anymore fighting between the pair of you" Laughing lightly, Eren was quick to nod "Sorry, mum. I'll behave" "Good. Levi?" Levi looked to the blond beta, realising he was actually supposed to reply "God. Yes. Fine. Can we just go? Where are we even going? I assumed from last night's conversation that the meeting would be here" "It'd be here if we had more space. The royal library is still the hub for all things war related, and strictly off limits to all those with ties to Marley, just in case this is some elaborate trap. Hanji and Moblit are both overseeing castle repairs. The mages haven't had an easy time given all the spells in place here. So lunch will be in the sunroom. The throne room and the dining room are too stuffy, and we don't want him to think we don't like him" "You're getting better at this prince thing" "I blame Eren. Did he explain about the cake thing?" "This one you've already lost. Nicollo rules his kitchen with an iron fist. You've challenged him, and now you'll need to learn that wasn't the smartest thing to do" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you might just wind up with cake every single day until either you, or he, dies first" Armin gave a fake moan of misery "Here lays Prince Armin. Caked to death in the first year of his reign. I can see the epitaph already" "That really would be the icing on the cake" Armin gaped at Eren, Levi smiling at his mate with pride "Traitor" "Sorry, Armin. You're my best friend, but Levi is my mate. Can we go? And actually leave the room? I'm starting to get nervous all over again" "Fine. But I will have my revenge" "I'm sure with your intellect, it'll be a piece of cake" Delivered smoothly, Eren landed the final blow. Armin sweeping past both of them towards the bedroom doors "I hate both of you. Get out of my room" * Willy was waiting for them in the Sunroom, a small dining table had been moved in from somewhere else in the castle, and Nicollo had prepared a small feast by the look of it. Looking to the cake in the middle of the table, Levi couldn't help but laugh to himself over this whole cake thing, before his mood dropped at the memory of Eren not being able to enjoy birthday cake on his birthday thanks to how horrific the day had been. Ignoring the fact that he was supposed to take the seat to the right of Armin, as he would as advisor, Levi chose to sit next to Luca in position opposite to Armin. It was better than having his mate and son sitting next to Willy, even though it did leave Eren sitting directly opposite him. Luca didn't care where he sat, his eyes already on the carved game on the table "Our apologies for being late. We had some things to take care of, that took longer than expected" "It's quite alright. It wasn't a very long wait. Now, Eren. Did you have a chance to look over those papers?" Eren shook his head "No, I'm sorry. Chasing after two children can be quite hectic, and Viren isn't even on his feet yet" Levi was impressed. It wasn't a lie, as he'd never said that he'd been busy with the children the previous night. Willy would make the assumption he was, and take it for what it was "I can't say I know that from the point of view as a father. I do however come from a rather large family, and do know how they can be. I know I'm ignorant, but I've been dying to ask how it works with Luca?" "Luca is my son" There was a clear frostiness in Eren's tone. Willy had picked the wrong omega to insult over his children "I mean no offence. I simply mean, how is parenting similar and how does it differ?" "Luca was already running and causing trouble by three weeks. Other than that, there are no real differences. He has baths, he sleeps, he eats, he comprehends everything he hears, and understands who I am to him. To think him lesser for not being able to communicate is deeply wrong. He can make all his needs, wants, or upsets known quite clearly" "Yet he can't talk?" "No dragon talks in their dragon forms. There are plenty of people in the world who cannot talk, yet they exist just fine. Now. These papers? I would like to have everything in order before we leave, as I've already told you" God. Eren was breathtaking when he was on fire. His green eyes shone brightly, as he sat straighter and locked eyes with Willy. No one stood a chance when Eren got like this. Not just running his mouth off and tripping his way through on false bravado, but actually ablaze with confidence. Levi might not understand Eren's own particular mental pain, but he did understand that there were two times when Eren shone like this. Now, it because he was genuinely proud of Luca. Willy's attempt to cripple him, or to cause self doubt, was snuffed right out by the proud mother dragon. Being an alpha, it was probably more than Willy's ego could take knowing that Eren had shifted the balance of power in his direction "Right. Well. As I've told you, Zeke left a number of things in his will for both you and the baby, with explicit instructions that you have everything you need provided for you. And that if anything were to happen, you'd become ruling prince. This hasn't gone down well as you can imagine, with many calling your disappearance an intentional act to start war, and to give you an opportunity to kill your husband. It was widely known that you didn't hold affections for Zeke, and that you disappeared with the then prince of Eldia after he murdered two of our Marley citizens here. What we need from you is a signed statement. You'll need to outline where you were when you left Eldia with Levi. We also need you to have your son tested to prove he isn't Zeke's and therefore has no legal claim to the inheritance left. As for abdication, we have touched on that, yet for the stability of Marley, we have asked that you hold off on that for now. Now. Draecia has also stepped forward to make their position known. They're calling for the dismantling of the border protections where Marley meets Draecia. This has not gone over well at all. Some feel this Eldia pushing back with the second wave of war to start any day now. Especially with Marley citizens still confined within the castle. As Marley sees it, Eldia has made no true attempt at peace. You need to step up and make a royal declaration to the people. Like I heard you did here. You'll also need to include your plans of action for Marley, without mentioning you won't be retaining the title of prince. This also means legally drawing up permission for the royal household to be dissolved and for the country to be placed under military rule until a new government can be organised and established. There will also need to be a new treaty drafted between Marley, Draecia and Eldia" No wonder Eren hadn't said much of everything happening. Willy's was piling every ounce of blame he could on to Eren's shoulders. It was all a load of shit, yet the alpha knew Eren would be hurt at the thought of people being hurt. Military rule was never a good thing. Not that a ruling royal household was much better, but military rule would lead to marshal law... "What a load of shit" The words slipped out before he could stop them. The spell of confidence Eren was under breaking at Levi's unintended contribution. With three pairs of eyes looking to him, Levi took a moment to sound less annoyed "I know how all of this works. Your government needs Eren to cooperate with you, or Marley will be destroyed, yet you're also planning to then blame everything on him. Even if he releases an official statement, the media in Marley is hardly going to place a positive spin on the truth of everything which has happened. At this stage, it doesn't matter what Eren says or does. He isn't welcome in Marley, and forcing him to play prince to the people who don't want him there, will only lead to people hating those who restored him to power. What you're better of doing is not pushing Eren out into the public. He's already received death threats. That should tell you he isn't exactly popular there. And as for military rule, that never ends well. The fucked up upperclasses simply buy their loyalty to have things made just the way the like them. Lastly, the border protections will not be removed. It's a simple of saying you want to keep harvesting dragons, and refuse to them to live in their natural territory, violating international law. If Marley wants to get its self out of this hole, it's going about everything the wrong way" Willy smiled thinly, his usually faultless performance wrecked "Really? All we wish for is peace. Changes need to be made, but they cannot be made all at once. Losing the royal family will be a devastating blow for the moral of our people as it is. You can't be suggesting we..." "You tell them the truth. We all lie. It's unfortunately natural, and though sometimes for the right reasons, the consequences may not always play out positively. Now. You said you wanted Eren to decline the inheritance. I suggest we make that the topic of conversation over lunch. It seems we've all gotten slightly worked up, and Nicollo will be mad if we send down untouched food. Know this though, if you do not stop the killing of dragons, Eldia will support Draecia and we will move against you. You have my word as the prince on this" Levi would have paid good money to be inside Willy's head. Not only insulted by an omega, but then by a beta, the man's poor scheming mind was probably in meltdown. Letting out a long breath, Willy found his smile again "I understand this is a delicate situation, but it is time for us to come together. Our people have suffered for far too long at it is..." Willy didn't look like he'd suffered a day in his life. Not like the people of the border towns of Marley "... Queen Dina has been the ruler of the country for over two decades now. They won't take kindly to accusations that the Queen is less than honourable" "I know when Erwin's true identity was revealed, as well as my own, there was a lot of hostility towards the royal household. But by telling the people the truth, they were able to come together as they knew that the royal household respected them enough to admit the whole charade. It was the dawn of a new era for Eldia. This should be the dawn of a new era for Marley" Eren sighed softly "The only problem is, that if the truth doesn't come from someone they already trust, it'll be seen as me pushing the blame on. Revealing the truth of Zeke's death and Dina's deceptions will mean going before the very people who wish to murder me. I... I think that maybe we should talk to the international tribunal. Marley isn't the most popular of nations. When Levi and I travelled, we saw the reach of the kingdom, we also saw a small fraction of the many people suffering. I think in this case, perhaps releasing a news statement with the official seal of the international tribunal would be in the best interests of Marley. Though, it would also need to be signed by a household who's as influential as the royal family. I know the Tybur family has world wide connections. If you are willing to sign your family name to an unedited, and verified statement, then I will abdicate. If not, Marley will fall under joint Draecia and Eldia rule, with the amounts owed internationally repayed with the profits of sale when the royal manor is picked to pieces. I wasn't certain how to proceed before, but sitting here, this is my decision on these matters. We wait. No major projects will be pushed through for completion, and humanitarian aide will be distributed first and foremost. Your warships will retreat. And if they do not, they will be seized and sold to the highest bidder, under order of your ruling prince. I don't wish to play this hand. I do not wish for the throne of Marley, but given what you said, and the fact you cannot guarantee my safety, or to tell your people the truth, then you need to be prepared for the consequences of your actions. When the tribunal starts, there will be reporters and representatives from all over the world there. My statement will be made available to all of them. I am willing to omit some of the more embarrassing details of Marley's day to day activities, in order not to hurt your people more, but you must give your word they will know the truth" "You do not care what the world will think of you? Or what they'll say? Some may even call you a monster" "That wouldn't be the first time. And if I need to become what people need to hate in order to come together, then label me a monster" "It very rarely works like that" "I don't intend to remain a public figure. I never asked to be. I never asked to have these powers, or to be something other than human. But here I am. Given you will also be in Europe, I will return your papers there. Now, do I have your word that you will put your name to the truth" Willy paused. Armin stared at Eren with awe in his eyes. Luca had stolen a sandwich so didn't care for what was happening. Leaving Levi to bit the insides of his mouth, preventing a proud smile from forming on his lips. Eren was so well suited to this. His natural desire to help people, only firmed his own convictions. How he'd ended up with this perfect omega, he had no idea "I will put my name to it. Let's bring down the curtain on these lies, and set the stage for the world to learn the truth" "Then it's agreed. I shall remain prince until my statement has been made public. At that time, the future of Marley shall be handed down by the international tribunal. No military actions are to be taken towards Eldia. Your ships are to leave when you do, and will be forfeit if found in our waters. If I find you have lied to me, or intentionally kept important documents from me, in order to manipulate my decision, I will have you tried for treason. For some unknown reason, you remind me far too much of Zeke. You're both searching for something beyond that horizon, and are willing to play any part to get there. Zeke never got to find that paradise thanks to placing his trust in the wrong people. Betrayed by his closest confidence. Be careful who you trust. You're the one everyone is looking to within the military, and if everyone is still as loyal to Dina as you say, I would not be surprised to hear your life is also in danger" "You know... you're nothing like I'd expected. I heard how passionate and driven you were from Zeke, and given how passive you were in our first two meetings, I doubted his words entirely. Now, I can hardly believe I am staring at the same young man" "Zeke was a good man who'd been through a hell of his own. I loathed him at first, until I understood him. Through time we built up a relationship between us where we understood each other far better. I don't care if you loathe me, as long as you understand I am sick to death of people dying needless deaths. Marley and Eldia need to build up their relationship. Now, let's eat. I'm done having the same conversation on repeat" Lunch dissolved into awkward small talk. Willy avoiding looking at Eren as he asked Armin various things about Eldia culture, and Armin mirrored the questions back. Catching Eren's eye, Levi was so fucking proud of him, yet was unable to say as much out loud, forced to settle for a thumbs up that Eren blushed at. If it took time apart for Eren to find this confidence again, then he'd have to settle for nights apart and days working together... He wanted Eren to be happy and whole, and today had proven that he could handle himself... with words at least. His stubborn brat was still getting hand to hand training, as well as combat training, the first chance Levi had.

[universal-kitty]

   Well... I promised it many times over. What I love about this man, down to the last detail. Everything I can think of, from imagined life to daydreams of him in this world. So! I promised it, so let’s get down to business, huh?

   I got into Watch_Dogs 2 on curiosity alone. I see a masked person? I wanna know more! (It’s how I started on my path to Ace Attorney, after all.) So, a year ago, I found a moments of Wrench video... The first part was a blast; I ended up really liking his character! Nerdy, excitable, pretty lewd for the sake of it (and being out there), and just... Did what he wanted. Long live anarchy and a destruction of the system. I was into that!!

   But somewhere in the second part... I got really, really attached. It kinda sunk in that he’s someone I could really like. I grew up west coast; I know San Francisco really well due to family living up/around there. His mask is cool, yeah, but also shows his genius in a subtle way.

   Watch_Dogs 2 gave me this loud, rambunctious nerd and I loved him...and as mad as it still makes me to think about, when they had that moment in-game where he got caught? Where they stripped him of his mask and forced him to face the world without it...?

   They unknowingly gave me even more to love.

   He’s not JUST some loud an’ lewd dude (though that does make up a fair portion of his outward personality), but under that mask? So, so insecure without it. That’s the crutch he needs to work with the world...and how doesn’t that strike a cord with anyone?

   And I’m never sure of a way to put it, but... His face. You always get two expectations when someone is masked: either bishonen boy or with deformities/made to see “ugly”. Wrench isn’t like that, at least, to me? He’s just an average guy. Big nose, kinda small lips, average eyes, and what most assume (myself included) to be a big birthmark on the side of his head. Right in view of everyone, without his mask.

   Without his crutch.

   It’s this weird mishmash of so many little factors that work out. Drawn to his initial appearance and all the punk he exudes, the mask and the emotes it displays, the urge to check out and study his tattoos....and then I know him more. Understand him more. Love him more...and it’s not just that anymore. It’s seeing a little of myself in him. Understanding that feeling of being outcasted from the world and making our own little corner, instead, since the world won’t have us. It’s making a buffer between us and that world, just so things feel better. (Even if they don’t go better like we want them to.)

   And fuck the world. I love this hacker anarchist, father-to-a-robot, nerdy as FUCK, perverted, doofus of somewhere between “1-40″ years, as he so elegantly jokes. (Babe, we all know you’re in your twenties. Nobody of any other age group would act like we do. You’re not 5 years old or 62. Goofball.) His face is everything to me. Everybody who’s ever made him feel bad about it can go sod off somewhere else.        Assholes.

   Oh, and his gestures!! I just rewatched a video of his moments (a shorter one) and all the gestures he does!!! He’s so lively and it’s so, so precious to me... One of the many, many things I love about him, right next to his parenthood of Wrench Jr. (precious lil robot son of ours) and his terrible, yet endearing, taste in music... Oh, and the fact the NERD set up a ZIPLINE for Marcus to use... I can’t believe him, and yet...

   ....Man. Anyways...

   Maybe it’s just cause I met him at a bad time in my life. Feeling like crap, didn’t want to exist, feeling maybe like it was pointless to keep up trying to get into a relationship or holding any romantic ideals to people at all, cause... Things always tended to end up disastrously for me. Everything was crap and then I found this goofy guy and... Bam. I started to feel better. Hearing his voice makes me so, so happy. Wearing his sweater (like I am now)? Is comforting, warm, and always makes me think of him. Hell, I even got two keychains of this man....and a ring!

   Not only do I love this man with my entire being, but I’ve got a cheapass ring to prove it cause we’re BOTH working not the best paying jobs and you know what??? ....We love each other and that’s all that matters to me.

   He’s kept me going since, then, too. Need to sleep? Imagine him cuddling up to me or spooning me to sleep. Shower time? The shenanigans of trying to get things ready for the shower, much less getting clean!!! Imagining the ways he’d do his best to distract me. How he teases me about anything and everything. Kicking back on a weekend with either takeout, fast food, or a pizza and watch our Netflix queue or just...talk.

   I think about our life together so much it hurts me sometimes. Actual aches of the heart and I’ve cried over him a few times already.... I’m expecting it to be a few times more as time goes on, too. Because much like a few others in the community- I’m sure- I found my soulmate. Not to be a real person, but a fictional character...and despite that worlds-apart dream, I don’t care. He’s the feeling of home. He kept my chin up and kept me believing in love and good things and beauty in the chaos I’m too shy to show.

   He’s my opposite in a lot of ways, too, y’know? Aries and Capricorn... Apparently, they’re usually terrible together. And I mean atrocious!!! Aries with their carefree nature and Capricorns, too careful, too calculating, too controlled. It causes friction...but not with us. Sure, you can catch him whining about me being boring sometimes, but he’s still patient with me. I worry about him a lot, but he does the same for me and we do it until it annoys the other and we’re yelling.......but the “fight” dies down, cause at the core of it, we just care a lot. We worry about losing each other.

   And I won’t lie on that: I do see us fighting quite a bit. Over the stupidest things because I worry and get emotional and he does the same and so we hit heads over things, get stubborn, and I probably cry sometimes because I can’t be angry without crying...for some reason. He stops there or he walks off to cool his head....and then we come back to it. Quieter, sitting close together and clinging and talking it out.

   We fix things, because he doesn’t know how a “fuck up” like him got me to stay and I don’t want anything else but him. We both want to keep it working, we both want to talk, and things get worked on and fixed. Hell, it’s even why we can “bully” each other. It’s because we both know what we’re most sensitive about and if it goes too far, we let the other know and it stops. Next time? It never gets that far. Or we don’t talk about it at all.

   ...I imagine that Wrench came from...not the best home. My family’s okay, but they’re not perfect, either; I’ve picked up a lot of bad habits and ways of thinking from them. So together...we do better than what we left behind. We have to, for each other’s sake.

   .....It’s stuff like this- thoughts like this- that keep Wrench so dear to me. Why it means so much that I can call him my husband, delight in hearing others ship us... He’s my world. I might not depend on him an incredible amount, but he’s still my main F/O for a reason.

   If you’d asked me a year ago and a week before, how I would feel about falling in love with one fictional character and only ever wanting him... I would’ve laughed. “Yeah, right! I love every one of my F/Os equally!” I would’ve crowed! And I’m still sort of right; all of my F/Os are dear to me in various ways...but Wrench is the one who stands out in the crowd. He’s the one who brightens my day immensely.

   I love Wrench so fucking much. I’m so glad I can be his spouse...and I hope you’ll continue to support us as time passes on. ♡ ♡

[mythvoiced]

💯, 👠, 🍬, 😉, 💑, 💘 (for Sköll, Flubber will be taking notes WIUEHDUH)

@theimpalpable | sex+romance headcanons!

---

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date? ANY DATE, HE’S A LOSER!!!!! I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HE’S A STOOPID LOSER!!!!!!!!!!! Also, not gonna lie, I think he’d like to do the classics, lunch date, cinema date, amusement park date, he’s kind of got the mentality of teen flick protagonist when it comes to dates, he just likes the classics, I wish I could do something about it, but why deny him—Although, I think, dates in which one sits down to eat are his least favourite, he still likes them, but they’re a little lower down the list because of the lack of mobility he’s granted? And the distance, more often than not, a table separates the daters, and even though it’s sweet, just holding hands across the table is not how much physical contact he usually prefers. So, walking hand in hand arms smushed together at the amusement park? Absolutely ideal. (Also, he will play footsie at EVERY restaurant, without exception). Making out like teenagers in the back rows of a cinema? Why, do sign him up.

At the end, though, if he had to pick one particular date, one and one only, he’d like a day spent just… walking and exploring. Doing a wide variety of activities, mostly on the move, maybe visiting things not visited before, then returning home and getting all cosy under the covers.

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like? I do not think Sköll’s had a whole lot of serious serious relationships. He’s got commitment issues generated mostly by the fact that he can’t sit still, and most people who look for a serious relationship are looking for someone who want follow a whim and not get back to him for a week because he’s god knows where, in a hole maybe, I have no idea. He’s jittery, he needs to move on, he’s difficult to keep a hold of, most would and have described him as ‘too difficult’, a ‘handful’, if you will. It stung a few times, now it’s just irritating because it’s boring hearing the same thing over and over again.

His last serious relationship, to get back on track, was probably relatively recent, not that Sköll wouldn’t have dated even in less tolerating time periods, it’s simply easier now than it was then to engage in serious relationships because there’s half a thought that it could potentially last for a life-time. Not what Sköll is looking for (I mean, Nae-Gil aside KLFJGFGHLK!), but it makes the dating scene more likely to harbour opportunities for something that lasts with at least one party wanting it to last. This is not to say Sköll treats relationships with the idea of cutting ties at the first given opportunity, his lifestyle just doesn’t suit some poor lad just trying to settle down.

Which I think his last boyfriend to have been like, just a poor lad, another poor lad trying to hold Sköll down long enough for Sköll to figure out whether or not he’d want to return to this man on the regular. Problem is, Sköll also approaches relationships with the subconscious mentality of his status in life over a potential boyfriend’s. The immortality, even if he has the idea that it won’t last forever. His past. His knowledge of the supernatural.

Yet, oddly enough, I can’t imagine him too well dating supernatural beings, not quite sure why. So, his last serious relationship was with a mortal, most likely, and as disastrous as ever. He’s mostly broken up with, rather than him doing the breaking up, which was the case here too. And it was sad, it’s always sad, because the men Sköll dates are, more often than not, good men (because if you’re a dick while in this context, Sköll will fuck you up on behalf of the people who’s had to date you and not been equipped with the skill-set Sköll has to not consider you a threat). He hates having to make them go through it. But he’s also looking for affection and intimacy, so he can’t… stop.

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch? Embarrassing to say, because most of my muses would argue, it depends on the partner with only a slight preference with a given direction, but Sköll is a sub, for the most part. He’s not a sub in the sense he’ll fully submit, he just likes the being held and being moved and being desired in a particular way that comes with this preference. Would he switch? Absolutely, because it’s just natural to find yourself in other scenarios as well, but sub is definitely his go-to. Also because his favourite positions go hand-in-hand with his being a sub (future Lena who will queue this keep this line in challenge-).

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks? 👀 Alex, I adore you, which is why I shan’t chicken out of a meme I reblobbed myself and signed up to meself- NOW, I don’t usually seek out the actual name of a given preference of this nature for my muses, because I don’t want to put them under a specific name and prefer just sort of? Going with the mentality, the sensations (emotional) that are being sought out, but Sköll keeps forcing me to break my patterns, so, full chest, praise kink. IT’S—Not kink kink level, the way it’s portrayed in fan fictions, but he just… he likes it. And not just sexually, he’s just wagging his tail hoping someone would go up to him, pat his head, and tell him he did well, he’s a mess, is it the unintentional parental neglect? The unwitting ‘you can’t do anything right’ taught by all those times he’s been held back? No idea, but it’s there, and… ;;

I guess he also? Likes to take his time, if this can count in this context? He’s a mess, he can easily go from gentle love making to using his teeth, no matter the direction in which he’s going on that spectrum, he likes if it lasts a moment.

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner? Kindness, but not gentleness, and if gentleness, not softness. Sköll doesn’t know how to hold something in his hand that is pure and fragile, doesn’t know nor is he particularly attracted to kindness that is soft, to a mouth that never bites. He doesn’t have to fight him, but large-eyed stutters, he doesn’t know how to deal with them. He’s not built to treat with enough gentleness, he’d argue, someone like that would just shatter in his hands. Not to mention, he just doesn’t really know how to apply his own intense mind into a dynamic that would balance out softness.

He would never date someone below the age of 25 max and even that’s being generous, he’s just painfully aware of his advantage age-wise on most mortal men, and approaching anyone in their early twenties for romantic advances, sexual advances, feels downright criminal, he’d arrest himself, honestly (which is also something considering he looks like he’s in his early twenties, no one knows he’s over half a millennia old, so he just looks like a dilf hunter).

A bit of bite, as previously insinuated, just enough for Sköll to know that he’s not dating a pushover, he doesn’t harbour any true judgment towards yes-men, he just thinks they should date someone that isn’t… like him. He’s not one to take advantage of others, even accidentally, because he never drags people into things without asking first, sure, you’ll probs be forced to witness some things, but that’s because he forgets to give heads up on the crap he gets up to, the whims and impulsive decisions he ventures into taking are solo runs unless you vocally and directly and clearly express wanting to tag along. So, a pushover just… wouldn’t work with his personality.

Someone who knows how to breathe out every now and then, who isn’t even more tensed up than he is on most days, not because he doesn’t like the occasional workaholic (they’re loads of fun to help winding down, Sarang would agree btw-), but because if they’re both (or all) moving at 3495687690 miles per hour, they’ll crash, Sköll is very easily enabled to be even worse than he usually is, so if you’re terribly stressed as your default state of being, Sköll won’t be deterred from approaching you, it’ll just end in an explosion.

Someone who is!! FUN!!!!!!!! WHO HAS ENERGY!!! Who feels like going along with his nonsense, or start some nonsense of his own, BUT, energy with some common sense because Sköll lacks too much of it. He’s got the wits, he’s some common sense too, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that… well, tying back to the enabling thing, + and + equals +, the room is on fire.

I think all in all? Someone established in their skin who doesn’t mind occasionally doing something weird, who’s kind and potentially gentle but doesn’t break easy, Nae-Gil, it’s--- oh my god--

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it? Kithes~ Huggles~ Head on your shoulder~ Arms around arm~ Hand holding~ Subconsciously picking up habits and integrated them way too seamlessly into his own sets of habits because he just likes watching and always ends up imitating, in one way or another, Sköll seems intent on portraying his love by trying to swallow the essence of his partner into every crack of his soul.

[savetheplanarians]

The Weight of Love

N.B. This happened a few weeks ago.  I’ve been doing better since then, but I feel like the point still stands and it might be worth saying.

When I was in college, there was a small child who was the son of our lab technician.  Several times a week, he would bike past my house on his way home from the arboretum and show me whatever treasure he had found.  We had a great fondness for each other, because he was the only six-year-old I had ever met who knew that there existed a venomous mammal, and I was the only grown-up he had ever met who knew that the venomous mammal was a shrew and not a vole.  Often, he would leave me with some of his treasures, especially if his mother wasn’t going to let him take them home.  Treasures consisted of a baby garter snake, some earthworms, a dead toad, neat rocks, and piles and piles of crickets.  I was absolutely delighted with all of this, obviously.  In our house, it became a running joke that the only boy I would ever marry would have to bring me crickets, because I was aggressively uninterested in men at the time but adored this small boy with all of my heart.

Recently, my life has been about a dozen disasters all at once.  On top of this, my brain has decided to stop playing for my team, and so I’m weeping into my pillow wishing that this too too solid flesh would melt and resolve itself into a dew about twice a week.  One of the less disastrous but still not ideal things has been a young man who is one of my best friends and will not date me, despite my best efforts to the contrary.  But, he remains one of my best friends, and a delightful feature of this is that he sends me pictures of neat bugs that he sees at work (or neat mushrooms, or neat turtles, or neat parasites on neat turtles, et cetera).  A week or two ago I received a picture of a katydid, which was obviously great, but also prompted me to tell someone that I was so frustrated, because I had finally found a young man who would give me crickets and I couldn’t date him. 

I got a package in the mail today.  It came from Amazon.  I hadn’t ordered anything from Amazon.  Inside was a bag of cricket cookie mix, which is just regular cookie mix with ground up powdered crickets as a flour substitute.  And I was staring at it in utter confusion when I realized … someone had given me crickets.  One of my friends had listened to my tales of woe regarding this young man, and then had sent me crickets. 

And obviously the crickets are a metaphor, right, they’re a way of expressing a broader concept of being known so well that a person will do the things that make you and only you happy, you weirdo, because they love you well enough to understand who you are and what you value most, and they recognize the ways in which you are unique from all the other humans out there in the world and then make an effort to demonstrate that knowledge so you feel loved.  The crickets are a metaphor.  And one of my friends, who I think is well aware of this, sent me crickets, and it was such an effective reminder of a truth that I firmly believe but sometimes forget to own: That friendship is a beautiful and complete form of love, in and of itself.  Romantic relationships are also a beautiful and complete form of love, but it’s not like friendship is a mediocre substitute for romantic love.  It’s its own unique thing, and it’s a worthwhile goal to strive for, because the love you have for your friends can be just as meaningful and just as profound and just as impactful as the love you have for your romantic partner-person.  Friends can also give you crickets. 

It took me a hot second to figure out who actually sent the crickets.  I thought I had a solid guess, and then that turned out to be wrong, so I made two more guesses, and those both turned out to be wrong, but they each had three or four suggestions of their own, and I asked close to a dozen people before I finally tracked down the actual perpetrator.  As I was wracking my brain for more candidates, I realized the sheer volume of love that permeates my life.  The fact that I had so many people to ask ‘Did you send me cricket cookie mix?’ is evidence of the quality and quantity of that love. 

Which leads me to the other point to this story.  When my brain is especially broken, it gets hard to figure out how to keep living life. Everything turns into an ordeal, and there is uncontrollable weeping for no justifiable reason, and I spend two hours in the morning sitting on the floor of my room because I can’t imagine how I could have enough motivation to put on my other sock.  It is … not great.  It’s a hard place to live, and it’s hard to remember that I won’t be living there forever, because my brain will eventually figure out its serotonin imbalance and start working again.  And the thing, the one thing, that keeps me from flying away from all of that mess, is the weight of love in my life.  All of the love that is manifested by my friends and my family holds me down and holds me here, because it’s too heavy to abandon.  I am held here by the packages with profound personal significance sent to my house by friends in other states, and the emails with funny stories, and the long-distance help with solving problems that seem insurmountable when I’m this tired, and the texts in the evening to make sure I’m still present and accounted for, and the phone calls in the morning while I’m sitting on the floor contemplating the other sock, and the couches that are always available to cry on, and the pictures of neat bugs, and the visits from people who really don’t have time to drive for 4 hours to hang out and look at the stars and make dinner and watch movies and give hugs, but who do it anyway, all on account of how they love me.  And when my brain is especially broken, I don’t feel like I deserve any of that love, and accepting it is hard, and I can’t figure out how to pay it back. Because now, now I OWE all these people something, for what they’ve poured into me, and none of them seem to want anything except for me to keep sticking around.  So now I have this enormous debt of love, and I can’t go anywhere until I repay it, which anchors me into this life.  And, of course, this is not how love works.  You can’t quantify it enough to know when the balance is equal, there is no way to tell when you’ve broken even, because it’s not possible to keep score.  But the weight of it holds me back in a beautiful way, and so here I am, still. 

So, to every one of you who is weighing me down: Thanks.  I could not do this without you.

[thrivingnotsurvivingwithgina]

I’ll Start Living When

I’ll Start Living When….

How many times do you say to yourself, “I’ll do what I really want when… I’ve finished the project… when I’ve got that next promotion… When I make Director… When I have become a multi-millionaire.”

How often have you missed a date with your significant other, or an important milestone in your child’s lives or thought I’ll make time to find my soul mate and true love once I am successful (on my terms) It is a very common pattern for many. Whilst it does have a positive impact on achieving your professional goals make no mistake such choices have a significant impact on your quality of life and your future emotional, spiritual and physical health over the long term.

One of the things many have found during the lockdown is that they have had the opportunity to review what is really important in life. However, it is all too easy to revert to old ways of thinking, acting and speaking. It would be a great shame if those who had recognised what was really important to them then lost sight of that newfound awareness as soon as life got busier.

In reality, we only have THIS MOMENT. The past has gone - nothing you do will bring it back. We cannot guarantee the future - I learned that lesson at 2pm on February 19th 1983 when I fell down a mountain whilst skiing. - Many have learned this lesson through their experience with Covid. The only thing we can all be sure of is this moment. Learning to live in the moment is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

There are three dimensions of time; the past, the present and the future. To live a healthy and productive life we need to balance living with all three. Let me explain what I mean.

The past has much to teach us. Indeed life often throws us the same experience - dressed up in a variety of guises until we learn the lessons. Let me give you an example. Why is it that so many people have one disastrous relationship after another? They choose the same type of people, behave in the same way and get the same results over and over again.

Once we learn the lessons the past offers us, the ingrained beliefs can be transformed and as a result the choices we make and patterns of our behaviour change. The past offers us all the opportunity to understand how what we believe drives how we behave. Learning how to behave differently is not as hard as you might think. Being open to the possibility is often all it takes to start the process. Understanding that everything we do or fail to do is actually a matter of choice moves the process on enormously.

If you stay stuck in the past, always looking back; either wishing that the present was good as the past has been or constantly regretting what has been and wishing things had been different and the best that the present has to offer remains unnoticed.

If your attention is always on the future, chasing the next goal, constantly striving for something just out of reach you miss the precious gift of the here and now. There is a danger that by the time you wake up to what is going on you will have missed out on so many potentially wonderful experiences. It that at that point that you are liable to find yourself retiring from work. I know so many people who focus so significantly on their work that they often have no personal interests, no one special to share their time with and no sense of who they are when they are not being the professional version of them.  One of those people used to be me!

Getting the balance right is important, if you never give a thought to the future – to setting any goals or planning for future needs and how to protect them you are likely to fall short of fulfilling your potential growth and find yourself in difficulty, financially if nothing else.

There are many people who focus almost exclusively on the future and their goals both short and long term. They constantly defer living in the here and now as they are busy chasing the dream, which they believe will bring them happiness. Whilst they are busy chasing their dream they leave their significant others to manage as best they can. They are convinced that they are working hard to provide a good future for themselves and their loved ones. They often calculate the cost of a lost 'present' very differently to their partners and families.

In the ongoing struggle to achieve even more success, there is no time just to be… to stop and stare or to smell the roses. There are many people who have little idea how to relax and enjoy the moment. The concept is alien to them and they find it most uncomfortable. They see no reason why anyone would want to do it.

Here are my top ten tips to learning to live in the moment, they are designed to fit in with a busy schedule and are just a starting point, they may appear inconsequential but I know from personal experience and from the experience of the many clients who have also used them that when done regularly they start to have a profound and positive effect.

1)   As you wake up each morning spend a couple of minutes breathing deeply. Breathe in deeply to the count of 2, hold it for 4 and breathe out to 4. As you breathe be conscious of exactly how each part of your body is feeling.

2)   Tell yourself ( with real wellie! that you choose to be happy today and that you will find time to enjoy this day to the full. (Once past it is gone forever.) A state of happiness is actually your choice. To find out in more detail how see 'The Happiness Challenge' (link below)

3)   As you take your shower or bath in the morning be conscious of how the water feels on your skin. Feel the temperature of the water and the sensation of the soap or shower gel on your skin. Contrast that with the roughness of the towel or the softness of your robe. Really focus on your senses and engage in the experience.

4)   During the day stop and take a small amount of time to consciously notice your surroundings. Use each of your senses in turn, what can you smell or hear, look for the colour or texture of things around you. Be aware of how you are feeling. Even five minutes out of your busy day done on a regular basis will make a difference.

5)   Smile, and make a conscious decision to make someone you pass in the road, corridor or lift - smile back. Be aware of how it makes you feel. If you are wearing a mask - smile with your eyes and set the intention in your mind that you are sending the other person a smile. It may sound crazy but intentions make a significant difference.

6)   Create five small random acts of kindness during your day. They could be a simple as letting a fellow driver out of a side turning, making a cup of tea, phoning someone who is still isolating or opening the door for someone at the supermarket. Notice how it makes you feel.

7)   Do something, which makes you smile or laugh each day. Be conscious of how you feel when you laugh.

8)   Take the opportunity to observe an aspect of nature you look through the window, go for a walk, drive to the supermarket or travel to or from work. Look at the sky – see the cloud formation or look at how the trees are moving with the wind, look at the individual petals of a flower, or watch the raindrops making a pattern on the train window.

9)   Set time aside within your busy timetable for you. Actively plan your time over a week or fortnightly cycle, some clients find it helpful to book a space in their diary - 'Meeting With Self'. Set aside time each week to enjoy some time simply 'being' - time to walk with no other intention than to enjoy it, or time to spend with your significant other.

10) Collect gratitudes during the day. Notice things to feel grateful for as you go through your normal day - make it easy. A hot shower, a nice cuppa, a comfortable chair, a call from a friend, the beauty of nature are some examples. The important thing is that you take time to notice and give thanks. Just before you go to sleep think of five things that you have been grateful for during the day. They can be as small or as significant as you choose.

May be it is time to start living now rather than waiting for your real “life” to begin once you have achieved whatever goals you have set yourself, the ideal weight, the perfect relationship, professional success or great wealth. The danger is that by the time you are ready to “live” you may be on your own or your health will have suffered in the mean time.

Here is a personal invitation to join me for a -'BECOME THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN LIFE' - VIP Day Intensive/s where you will learn how to let go of old limitations and step into the limitless possibilities which await.

For more details and to book go to:

https://ginagardinerassociates.co.uk/page_48.php?pgenme=leadership-for-life&nav_group=all

Further Resources:

'leadership For Life' Radio and TV Shows on W4CY live every Thursday at 6pm UK time 1pm Eastern

https://w4cy.com/shows/leadership-for-life/

Youtube Leadership For Life Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLR8ab6DHaK7nWQc2cG8WzJxnkD9_LUhqq

Books:

Thriving Not Surviving - The 5 Secret Pathways To Happiness Success And Fulfilment

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B074BPBLD3/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1

The Happiness Challenge

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08BC1H4YS/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i3

Genuinely New -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Genuinely-New-Discovering-Leadership-Identity/dp/B08J578F2P/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Genuinely+New+by+Gina+Gardiner&qid=1614862410&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

Articles:

Being Single And Happy

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/being-single-happy-gina-gardiner

If I'm Not My Job Who Am I?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/im-my-job-who-am-i-gina-gardiner

#happiness #confidence #success