#i think ive read some of this before but i cant remember so its gonna be like reading it for the first time YAY

[dnfity]

idk if you vibe with it, but i can offer soumate + college au dnfies https://archiveofourown.org/works/49228576/chapters/124217029 (its from 2023 tho so there might be some opps in there)

NO IF ITS YOURS IDC ABOUT OPPS THANK YOU

[aciddrattboyy]

sharing is caring

your boyfriend isagi lets his best friend bachira fuck you while he watches (mostly)

bachira, isagi x f!reader ☆ smut ☆ 0.8k cw: dirty talk(its bad), penetration, cucking, squirting, rough sex, threesome a/n: reupload from ao3. gulp... ive actually been debating whether or not i should post it because i actually feel so embarrassed about it like i cant believe i typed that with my own fingies but my friend convinced me to post it so for my own wellbeing all the smut will be under the cut because i'll start convulsing if i read it against my will :)

☆

how you got into this predicament you weren’t sure. the events leading up to this blurry and hard to even try to remember. all you could think about was now. the present reality being you leaning back against your boyfriend isagi while his best friend bachira fucks into you.

“ah shit isagi- she’s so- fuck- so tight-,” bachiras onslaught of crude words made you helplessly clench around his dick. with your legs behind held up and open by isagi, you were getting mercilessly pounded into. you could hear isagi chuckle darkly from right behind you, his hard clothed dick pressing into your lower back as he squeezed your thighs. 

“dont forget to play with her clit bachira,” isagi’s voice was light, playful as he let go of one of your legs to grope at your breasts instead. “wanna feel her cum on you dont you,”

“f-fuck yeah- yeah i do,” without a second of delay he lets a ball of spit fall from his lips, both men’s eyes watching as it fell down right above your sensitive clit. the groan isagi let out had your hips bucking into bachira which just fueled him even more. “you’ll cum for me right y/n? you’ll cum on my dick right? your boyfriend said it’s okay so go ahead,” you whined as bachira kept his eyes on you. there was something unnerving in his eyes and the unwavering desperate smile he had. 

“a-ah fuck-,” you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of bachira pressing his thumb onto your neglected clit, pressing his fingers into your lower abdomen as he moved his thumb in tight circles.

“y/n you sound so good- hah- cum for me baby please- wanna feel it bad,” he was babbling now, head hung low as he continued to drill himself into you. the room was filled with both you and bachira’s moans along with the wet slapping of his tight balls on your cunt. 

isagi, getting a tad jealous, wanted you to direct some of your attention back to him. hooking a finger under your jaw he tilted your head up and sideways to look at him before he placed his wet lips on yours. 

“shit thats so hot- so hot-,” meguru’s eyes shot up when he heard your muffled moan, almost cuming right then at the sight of his teammate taking control over your mouth, “i’m close- gonna cum- pretty baby how ‘bout you ask your boyfriend where i should cum,” isagi eyes meguru as he sucked on your tongue, a slight smirk tugging at his lips at how fucked out meguru looked. 

“you can’t cum until she does,” isagi’s authoritative tone has bachira’s hips stuttering. with a small whine leaving his lips, he brings his thumb back to your clit, circling it roughly. 

“cum y/n please cum- i need it- hah fuckfuck- please i- i need-,”

“shit bachira- right there right there- dont stop,” your moaning had both of their dicks twitching, their eyes locking once before a dry chuckle leaves isagi. 

“better keep going bachira make my pretty girl feel good she deserves it,” his voice was teasing as he left kisses along your temple, holding your lower face in his hand as he kept your eyes directed onto the scene in front of you.

“call me meguru- fuck baby please say it say my name,” bachira was panting now, babbling away as he tried so hard to not cum. he needed you to cum. needed to feel you cum around and call his name. 

“meguru i’m cum- im cumming ah shitshitshit,” before you had even a moment to realize what was happening, you were squirting around his dick. you were all but seeing stars as isagi reached a hand down to slap at your clit as meguru pulled out. 

“ fuck you’re so hot- squirting on me like that fucck-,” both you and meguru were a fucked out mess as isagi continued to abuse your clit and bachira kept bullying his cock before he came onto your stomach. 

“yoichi- ‘s too much- w-wait-,” you squirmed in isagis hold as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. his eyes were wide and fixated on your squirting cunt, having not ever seen you do that before. bachira watched with hungry eyes as the sheets below turned dark with your cum, your squirt soaking his dick and thighs. 

you began to tear up at the stimulation, desperate moans leaving your mouth as you told isagi it was too much but to keep going. having never seen isagi so dominating, bachira didn’t look away when isagi jerked your head towards him, ordering you to open your mouth before spitting inside. bachira could feel his dick getting hard all over again just from the filthy sight alone. 

“fucked her so good you made her squirt,” isagi muttered as he kept his eyes on your cunt. there was no way in hell he was going to tell bachira that he was the first one to do so. “ ‘m gonna fuck her now ‘n since you were so nice to her-,” isagi was quick to reposition you so you were straddling him, laying your head on his chest as you tried to even out your breathing “i’ll let you fuck her ass,”

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very much appreciated <3

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

[fictionfixations]

sorry i was late to playing more of the story but i kinda just forgot 💀

cause like i ran out of space so i deleted it but then when i updated hsr i had space for hi3 again but um i also forgot to log into games for dailies so ive been like really off my game lately so

i THINK this might be the last part of the story?

WOAH. oooh can we meet the general? GUH its the card game again...

NOO WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR GENERAL

LUOCHA?? or well like otto apocalypse or void archives or something something i forgot u were on the xianzhou (did you know theres a void archives mention in the event where the tb gets a room)

ITS WELTT

wait the general ISNT missing?

WELT DONT JUST SAY THAT AND LEAVE WTF

HUH okay that was just mean. youre meant to dodge obstacles so i go in the middle between two and then suddenly theres this obstacle moving in the middle and i was too close so i couldnt see it and react on time. thats my bad cause im impatient to wait but still D:

SCUSE ME WHAT HAPPENED TO JING YUAN?? like welt i love you but !??! my general ?!?!?!?!

what the- i was gonna say aww but -

so wait. he disappeared making people think the general is missing (and even tried to like push those rumors cause he was tired of being a general). ...but then he demanded a blademaster competition to find a successor?? so wait. do they or do they not know hes still there cause i thought the seat of divine foresight was still looking for him. or did he do that before he went 'missing'?

oh. wait the generals not back though..???

im playing too many games that are really hard on my dominant hand cause its usually spamming a button 😭

its an actual fight this time. also i never mentioned it before but sparkles laugh with her ult on herself makes me think of that one yandere game where you were trying to escape. i cant remember the name but it had a version with a crossover with yandere simulator for halloween and they could hear your mic

SAIKO NO SUTOKA that was the name

gives me that vibes whenever i hear it

an actual battle AND THEN ALSO a card battle? NOOO

WHAT

this is bullshit what 😭

:(

AHH VOICED WELT JUMPSCARE

what. actually i think welt has mentioned arahato before(?? in one of his chats he wishes he could set his pfp to it i think) or like some sort of episodes of an anime that he's shown to the crew via a mimicry ability

!?!?!!?!

sometimes this game is serious and sometimes this game is just so unserious i just get speechless

NAHHH THEY DID HIM DIRTY

huh

CITY OF DREAMS?? i......

!?!?!? DESTINATION MARS?????

gimme more masked fools lore (specifically sampo) i need it so bad

WE'RE FIGHTING SAMPO trying to read all the dialogue dont wanna miss it hold on

assume every voiceline is sampo unless said otherwise

"While I'm a firm believer in small talk brings big clients,"

"Actions can sometimes speak louder than words"

"Let's finish things off with a duel."

"Don't call for reinforcements outside the ring."

"Me? Against that?"

"Uh, how about a short break? I need to take a business call."

wait is he actually on his phone 💀💀💀 HE IS im trying to get a screenshot

"Hey, it's me, your old buddy Sampo."

"You might not believe it, but I've run into a little trouble here. Huh? You believe it now?"

"Seeing as we're old friends, can you find someone to help? Yes, if possible, now would be the best time."

"No, no, there's no danger. I've got plenty of good-looking girls here."

"I just remembered I've got something to take care of. ...See you!

"Hey, how about this? As long as you send someone right now we can negotiate a price."

"You want to double the price? Come on, it's not right to take advantage of the situation."

"Wait, don't hang up so fast. Put yourself in my shoes. I mean, who hasn't fallen on hard times?"

"Let's talk some more..."

"Oh my, you saw right through me?" (to Sparkle who pointed out the trashcans [which he were hiding in] were moving]) if you get rid of all trashcans before he finishes dialogue he still says this

"I can't take it anymore. Time to let "them" play with you." WHAT????

"Hey, are you still there? Maybe you can't hear my voice, but the situation here is pretty dire... Have all your friends already left?"

"Well, let's not dwell on the past anymore. You have to look forward to the future, and business needs to move forward, right?"

"Hello? Hello? You're not gonna let me down right now, are you?"

(Sparkle) "I heard your voice." (cause he was hiding himself in fog)

cutscene cutscene i hate lag. fucking fuck i coudlnt get screenshots of what hew said and you know me the omment i read something i forghet immediately what was said and forget to write it down

anyway he got rid of his phone and took out like his daggers instead

would you be mad at me if i restarted the boss fight just for those two lines? ..actually idk if i can replay this im gonna do it anyway and my phone on standby because trying to screenshot on laptop is unreliable and lags

""Luck runs out when the money's gone," That's what they tell me, anyway."

"Since we can't make a deal, let's talk about fighting, you two."

WHAT THE FUCK SAMPO suddenly close up attack where hes suddenly there and striking goddamn

OW what the fuck that just took a big chunk of my health. 'the deeper the love' 'the stronger the hate' gah okay note to self dont let that bar fill (well im really bad at fighting in this game so im TRYING man)

"Hey, go easy on me! By the way, here's a small token of my appreciation... Think of it as a friendly offering."

(Accept Sampo's surrender? - Reject Sampo's surrender?) NO FUCKING WAY YOURE GONNA DO YOUR ULT WHERE YOU PULL OUT A BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND IT EXPLODES I RECOGNIZE THAT ANIMATION

huh new option?

did she just smack him in the butt

ive hit the image limit so

(Sampo) "Come on, we can talk things out. Why resort to violence?"

(Sparkle I think? it doesn't specify whose talking) "Your cheap tricks can't fool us, Sampo."

(Vita) "Just surrender nice and easy, Mr. Fool."

(Sampo) "That's a shame. I was hoping to share some... interesting information with you."

(Vita) "Oh, some juicy intel, huh?"

(Sparkle) "Hah, ignore him. Sampo's always like this. When he's backed into a corner, his brain goes into overdrive, and he cranks out all kinds of lies to weasel his way out."

(Sampo) "Hahaha, Miss Sparkle knows me well. But you're not one to give up easily when you're cornered either, are you?"

(Sparkle) "See? Just like that, saying things that make no sense on purpose."

(Vita) "So, what should we do with this schemer?"

(Sparkle) "We should... turn him into fireworks to celebrate our perfect victory!"

(Vita) "Are you sure? He's technically your "colleague", right?"

(Sparkle) "Watching a "colleague" fall victim to their own schemes can be a rare source of "elation"."

...

(Sparkle) "Oh, lighten up! No need to get so serious! From what I know about Sampo, the man standing in front of us is probably just a figment of this dream."

so wait can he actually be that strong or is he only this strong because we're like in a dream or some shit (i kinda forgot why we're here but i think its a simulation of sorts)

oh we can either trust sparkle or be skeptical

okay well i like sampo more than sparkle so

oh we make a good point. hes not an illusion because he can see us who nobody has been able to but vita and sparkle

so wait this sampo is the real one then. so wait can he be that powerful outside of this like dream???

ah so sparkle is the mastermind behind all this

(Sparkle) "Distant stars... bursting into such lavish fireworks..."

was she speaking about an audience??

sparkles in her new skin now

...wtf. did the camera app just crash on me?? IT CAN DO THAT??? WHAT

(Sparkle) "Sparkle, dedicated to the grand finale!"

(outfit change)

(Sparkle) "Let's finish this Fool's Game with grace, my dear Vita."

(Vita) "Ha. I'd be happy to, my precious Sparkle."

(Sparkle) "Well then, let the show... begin!!"

we now play as vita.

(Ai) "Exactly. [Captain], remember I told you I switched the dream's setting from Penacony to Honkai Impact 3rd for a specific reason?" wait WHEN did you mention penacony?

(Sparkle) "Ah, what a shame. I was looking forward to seeing how that god would react to my little viral fireworks." and this is where my very little hi3 knowledge fails me

shes using one of sampo's smoke bombs that have a 100% escape rate LMFAO

SAMPO??

"Oh, well, that Miss Administrator insisted on a full scan before letting me go."

"I figured I'd pass the time chatting, and she ended up recommending a game to me-Honkai Impact 3rd."

...

"The thing is, my time's limited, and it has so many chapters! I don't even know where to start."

"I heard you're a veteran at this game. How about helping me choose a chapter? Where should I start?"

IDK MAN IM BARELY ANYWHERE IN THE STORY

i got her outfit but i dont have her so 🤷

anyway on the other hand look who i got :D

[obligur]

im literally gonna lose my mind okay so last year i had just applied to get an ao3 account and so i couldnt bookmark stuff and idk why i didnt copy and save the link i was so fucking stupid omg. anyways.

its stucky. its a road trip fic but i cant remember if its tagged as that?. i dont remember that much about it because i was like half asleep but it was lowkey the best piece of fanfiction ive ever read. i think bucky is going to try to kill zola or something and they go across europe and stuff and steve and bucky get freaky inside a tiny german hotel bathroom. theres a very small car that theyre all squished into because i think scott and sam join them and maybe natasha. anyways i literally cant fucking remember it and ive been looking desperately for the past like fourteen months and i cant fucking find it. idk if its deleted or something or maybe orphaned but i loved it i need it back so i can cherish lovingly for the rest of eternity. ive been searching across ao3 and looking for the post where i found it rec’d and ive even gone as far as to use one of those things that can scour the internet for certain strings of words so i put some sentences i remembered into that and i guess i misremembered because it didnt work and ive checked my search history but i cleared my history before i realized i hadnt saved it but ughhh im so pissed i didnt save it anyways

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE IT OR IF YOU HAVE IT SAVED SEND IT TO ME PLEASEPLEASE PLEASEPLE ASE PLEASE LORD I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER <33333

[chrliekclly]

This may be a dumb question and I’m gonna guess the answer is no because you run a fandom account lol, but does working behind the scenes of Sunny ruin the “magic” of it? I hope this makes sense lol

iv sort of answered this b4 but n a way i think it truly REVIVED the magic for me

if i worked on seasons from the iasip golden era id probs feel differently, and i lamented many many times over the years that i thought i could never work on sunny without ruining it for myself, but w th way th cards fell, i was already kind of on my way out of my hyperfixation on sunny by th time i got th job

i didnt love s13 and then s14 was v much like the final nail n th coffin nd my enjoyment rly faltered there, some stuff i liked but by n large i was like 'ok sunnys kind of over for me.'

before s13 it was more 'i love this season, except for 1 or 2 episodes" and after it became "i dont like this season, except for 1 or 2 episodes"

then, out of the blue getting to work on s15, even tho its still not one of my fave seasons, brought my love back in a completely new way. being able to interact with the cast and crew is magical on its own, and theres a level of pride that cuts through i guess? like 'yeah i remember this day. this day was hard. and now theres an entire episode out! and people liked it!'

theres also a disconnect with what i see happen at work and what actually airs. there are moments, sure, where i suddenly realize i know whats going to happen, but by and large im just as surprised as anyone else by the direction they take the editing. i also like to avoid reading the scripts we get and just let myself be confused. i truly still get to see episodes for the first time like you guys and i still get excited to find out wtf theyr about to do, its not unlike piecing together things seen in promos

like idk, @ th end of the day, everyone is just so nice, and ive met some of my literal favorite people on this earth on that job, and seeing the care and love that goes into what they're doing is an unmatched experience of my life and made me rly appreciate the show even more. rcg and the rest of the cast have all been so welcoming to me, and i love my camera team and th whole crew so much and cant believe how well we get on....im incredibly lucky

[acritti]

ok ive had this tfAu idea in my head ever since i read Into the Fold by ASamwich (its very good go read it) and I NEED to talk about it.

So Into the Fold features Bumblebee getting adopted by Soundwave after a peaceful ending to the war. Theres a part where Soundwave is frustrated because he cant dock Bumblebee like the rest of today his cassettes. I read that and immediately went. Wait. What if…

What if Bumblebee was one of Soundwave’s cassettes. What if he was originally a decepticon? How would that fit within the story of g1? So I did a little thinking and tinkering >:)

so yeha im gonna tell you the entire story that ive created in my head, drawn and written a bit for teehee

Bumblebee would be created as Soundwave’s third, old enough that he would remember and be involved in the Pits but young enough that he would be allowed to sit them out, which he would do often so he could take care of Buzzsaw. He was still competent in the fights he was in though.

He would have known Megatron just as well as the others, but he wouldnt have known Orion Pax as well. He would take care of Buzzsaw and eventually the twins whenever OP came over to talk revolution.

All the revolution stuff happens normally, OP gets the matrix, senate is destroyed but it becomes Autobots vs Decepticons yada yada whatever else happens in the earlier days of the war

Bumblebee would start as a Decepticon obviously, but during one of the raids, he ends up found by the Autobots, conviently with his Deceptibrand shot off his chest so they believe hes neutral and he uses the opportunity to infiltrate the Autobots. Since he spent so little time with the now Autobots when they were apart of the revolution, no one should recognize him as a Decepticon. Soundwave dislikes the idea of his child being behind enemy lines with very little way to protect him, but he agrees.

Bumblebee stays that way for some months to years, enough time to still be considered “new” to the Autobots but also enough to be absolutley adored by everyone.

Jump around a bit, Prowl slams into his office, very upset that another raid he planned went awry despite going awry in a way that should not have been possible. Unless the Decepticons knew about his plan. Jazz, obvi in Prowl’s office, hears all of this ranting from Prowl and they both agree that theres a mole and Jazz assigns Mirage to find them.

Mirage does his duties and becomes suspisous of Bumblebee one way or another. He follows Bee going to a meeting with Soundwave, but he ends up found by the Cons and shot. Soundwave wants to kill Mirage, but Bumblebee (secretly very endeared to the Autobots) wants to keep Mirage alive and brings him back to Autobase for Ratchet to fix him up. Jazz is sus of Bee, figures everything out, and Bumblebee ends up captured.

ughhhhhh something something, Bumblebee gets rescued and rejoins the Decepticons

Bee is back with the Cons but something feels… off to him. Like somethings there that wasnt before. The cons are angrier and more violent, Megatron wants more revenge and power, Soundwave seems more distant and uncaring. Bumblebee ignores it, this was his family! He’s just out of the loop after being a double agent for so long.

Then the Decepticons destroy Praxus. There was no reason to attack neutral ground. Bumblebee is disgusted and shocked. He notices that, while the Decepticons are partying on the outskirts of the city, the Autobots are going through the rubble looking for survivors. Prowl is among them, looking frantic even from the distance Bee sees him. Bee knows he has to do something, so he enters the city and goes to help the Autobots. They find someone trapped in the rubble, but they arent small enough to fit in between the rocks, but Bumblebee is. Under intense suspison and distrust, he saves Bluestreak and returns him to the Autobots.

Bee doesn’t agree with the Decepticons anymore, but he still believes in his family, so he desperately tries to get them to see the errors theyve made. He tries so hard, but they wont listen. They ignore him and make fun of his worries and they do so until he snaps.

On the battlefield, Soundwave has a clear fatal shot on Bluestreak. Bumblebee saves Blue and yells at Soundwave that if they continue on the path theyre on, then theyre just like the senate, just like the people they were fighting to destroy. Soundwave, out of anger, backhands Bee across the face. It’s the worse pain Bee has ever felt.

The Decepticons call a retreat. Soundwave calls for Bumblebee to dock, but Bumblebee refuses. Stuck in the belief that Bee is just being a teenager he attempts to force him back to base, but Bee shoots him and runs away. Soundwave realizes he fucked up and wants to go after his son, but the Autobots are all on top of him and hes forced to retreat.

Jazz finds Bumblebee and brings him back to the Autobots. Everyone is highly suspicious of him and no one believes that he could ever be anything more than a Con, but Optimus, Bluestreak, Jazz and Prowl have his back. And eventually he does gain back everyones trust.

If i ever finish writing a fic this would be the end of the first fic okay im done thanks for reading i love my little cassettebee stuck in my head for MONTHS NO ONE TO TALK TO but its okay now

+ a little art of my little guy

[muzanswaifu]

Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

[teecupangel]

Im curious about what is cannon and fannon in the AC fandom. Ive read many different origins for the scar Desmond has, but most people go with Bill being the one to give it to him. Is this because its cannon from a little known source(similiar to the fact that Altaïr can swim, as seen in the 3ds games, but most people make him unable to swim despite the fact) or is it widely accepted fannon? What about Masyaf castle? Ive read some fics about it being an Abstergo facility with the Templars having opened the Library, while others write it is just been left to time. And ofc cant forget Eagle Vision. Is it a unique ability to Altaïr only? Did his father have it too? Did every novice have to master it before becoming an assassin?

There could be others, but these are the facts that im mostly curious about. Thank you for answering. ^^

So I’m gonna break this into sections so I don’t have to think about scene transition or whatever rambling equivalent that has.

Altaïr Can Swim

We all accept that he can’t swim because that’s funny. However, if we take into consideration how Altaïr can swim as seen in his ‘sequel’, this is pretty much the complete opposite of “Altaïr has never been hit” status that he has in the fandom. They both causes desyncing so if we believe in “Altaïr has never been hit” then it’s not that Altaïr can’t swim, it’s that “Altaïr never slipped or fell into the waters” which actually points more to Altaïr being a badass. But we decided that Altaïr not being able to swim is a much funnier idea and went to town with it XD

Bill Being The Reason Desmond Has His Scar

Okay, so ngl, I also liked to write that Bill is the reason Desmond has a scar, either directly or indirectly (I mostly go for indirectly with another kid being the reason why he has a scar but Bill was there ‘supervising’), mostly because I like the plot point that getting the scar is the thing that finally snaps Desmond and got him to leave the Farm ‘randomly’.

Anyway, the canon/fanon blur a lot in this one as there are enough people that believe Bill made the scar as seen by this post.

My thoughts on that is pretty much summarized in the tags I left in that one:

#wait it's official? #or did we as a fandom just collectively saw how bill treated desmond and went #ah yes he's why desmond has that scar #seriously i hc it and it makes sense narratively for bill to be the reason why desmond has a scar #whether from training or by accident #but i don't remember it being even implied in any games #especially in ac rev where it could have easily been added in

To add to that, I’m talking about AC Revelations specifically because of Desmond’s rant in an early scene where he finally shouts at Bill for being a bad father. That was the perfect time to just drop that bombshell of Bill being the reason why Desmond has his scar but we didn’t get that. That’s the main reason why I don’t think it’s canon that Bill is the reason why Desmond got his scar but there’s 3 more scenes in AC Revelations where he could have talked about it, all of them from Desmond’s memories scenes.

I also talked about how I couldn’t find any evidence of Bill being the reason that Desmond got his scar in this post.

But the summary is I tried looking for any information about it in the books, pamphlet, manuals and references I had (I say ‘had’ because I had to leave them back in my old home after I moved due to space constraints TTATT), only focusing on any mentions of Desmond and Bill

Assassin's Creed Limited Edition Art Book (p40-41)

Assassin's Creed The Complete Visual History (p290 -292) - p291 has the line "... Desmond's father, William, adds an element of family drama..." calling it family drama sounds like an understatement considering how Bill and Desmond act around each other

Assassin's Creed The Essential Guide (p14, 66, 161, 218-219, 236, 238, 240) - this book is so weird. P218 says that Bill and Gavin shared the mentor role after the Great Purge, p237 says that only Bill took the mentor role (but didn't call himself the mentor) after the Great Purge

Assassin's Creed Atlas (p159, 165)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version - JP ver) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (Black Version - JP ver) (p17, 113-127) - The Black Version is an older version, only going as far as AC Revelations + The Fall comics, The White Version has up to 3 + Liberation

No mentions at all about Desmond's relationship with Bill in the following:

That short game manual that's inside the game disc for AC1-AC3 (JP ver)

Assassin's Creed Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Perfect Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed 2 Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Archive Book (JP)

In conclusion:

The most I got can be summarized from Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia, p182

"... driven, intelligent but emotionally distant father of Desmond Miles..." " ... technically minded man, fully devoted to the Assassins and their cause, whose passion for politics outweighs his responsibility to his family. While William's wife has always been able to deal with this emotional distance, young Desmond could not. Eventually he grew to feel that his father was more of a drill sergeant than a parent and fled the compound, despite his parents' repeated warnings to never leave."

If Bill did directly or indirectly cause Desmond's scar, I could not find it in the official books I have or even on Desmond's or Bill's AC Wiki page.

Unless someone can point out where it officially states that Bill caused Desmond's scar, I believe the whole "Bill is the reason for Desmond's scar" is AC fandom's own Mandela Effect. Most probably something that started as a headcanon (and for a very good reason) and is commonly used by fanfic writers (including me) which has evolved as a Word of Dante that we, as a collective, have mistaken as a Word of God.

Masyaf’s Current Situation

There’s no official note of the current situation of Masyaf in the modern days and I think Ubisoft would probably not do anything about it narrative-wise… I’d honestly be surprised if they did anything about it if they make an AC1 Remake. Now, it’s a bit nebulous if the Templars did manage to get the library but it should be noted that the last time we see Altaïr’s Apple, Ezio let it stay in the library and the ACR novel gave us:

“The bookshop was used as an outpost for the Assassins, and Ezio stored the Masyaf Keys in the chamber where he had found the first key, underneath the bookshop.”

If the Templars got into the bookshop then they’ll find all the keys and would have everything they needed to get into the library.

However…

The Apple would find itself in the hands of Queen Elizabeth I and Mahatma Gandhi before falling into Templar hands.

As far as I can see, Queen Elizabeth I isn’t a Templar so it’s highly possible that the British Empire did their usual ‘finders keepers’ thing and this wasn’t a nefarious Templar plan. So either Ezio got the Apple out of Masyaf and hid it somewhere else that would later be found by someone (maybe John Dee?) or Ezio… just left it in Masyaf?

I wanna give Ezio the benefit of the doubts and believe that he knew leaving it in Masyaf would be such a bad idea so the Apple was most probably transferred somewhere else.

Which means that Masyaf was completely abandoned by the end of Ezio’s era which Ezio would have believed be something that Altaïr wanted to happen.

I realized now I’m rambling further and further away from the actual topic for this section.

In conclusion: we have no idea if Masyaf is abandoned or occupied by the Templars in modern day. I will also add if it’s occupied by Templars, it might be a secret ‘base’ or it’s affiliated with a non-Abstergo Entertainment section of Abstergo because, as far as I can see, Abstergo Entertainment’s headquarters are based on existing Ubisoft headquarters (ex: Black Flag’s Abstergo Entertainment is in Montreal = Ubisoft Montreal)

Personally, I think that Abstergo would take over Masyaf castle either officially or unofficially as a way to show the Brotherhood how they hold one of the most important locations in their history. That’s the kind of power play the current Inner Sanctum would do.

(It would be funny in a ‘that’s fucked up’ kind of way if Masyaf is an Abstergo secret facility that does experimental work with captured Assassins as guinea pigs which they have done in the Philadelphia facility (Fall comics) and Madrid (AC Movie))

Eagle Vision

It was actually never explicitly stated who had Eagle Vision and who hadn’t but it’s noted that humans, in general, have the capability to unlock Eagle Vision although there are humans who has an easier time unlocking it.

AC1 noted that the Levantine Assassins knew about Altaïr’s Eagle Vision but there’s no evidence to suggest that they have it as well. Most of the time, they just tell Altaïr to use his vision without saying if they have it as well or not.

(it’s just personal preference to write that 12th century Assassins, both in Masyaf and Alamut, would have some form of Eagle Vision to show how much the Brotherhood had ‘fallen’ in the modern day. Canon actually points that only a small number of people can access Eagle Vision)

[rotfront-cunt]

Key Quest Update

Ok it has been awhile since I wrote down what has been happening with my key quest. As I state later in this post I'm giving myself a second strike

I have done both not much and quite a lot but the important thing is.. I finally have a lead. Before I get to that lead and my speculation on it, as always please no spoilers for getting these keys its been very fun to try and do this with as little help as possible and accidently spoiling myself a little for the second key was quite upsetting, i need a hint i will ask for one! Speaking of such, I've been talking with a friend about this quest and she wanted to help keep me from running around in circles so she gave me a hint: "the activity that will lead you to the keys is a hobby that Ariane may have had growing up" So I stumbled with this for a bit but then I decided to replay the final boss so I could reread the documents in the penrose after that, and I remembered this. (sorry for the terrible image)

So i decided to focus on the radio stations. My progress has been slow BUT I feel like I'm actually making progress for once. It took me a few afternoons but I was able to transcribe one of the audible radio stations that aren't transmitting the safe codes.

Here is what ive got for station 128.4 Some of the numbers I am unsure of and theres a reason for that (see next post). The other three stations remain un-transcribed as they are simply hard to hear. (This also makes me think they may not even matter, if this and one other station are the only ones that can really be understood, there may not be a reason to waste my time on them)

This brings me to my potential lead.

Two days ago I was watching someone play the game for the first time. Because she was reading everything out for chat i was reminded of this section of the mond&tochter safe manual. My current running theory is: What if this is what I have to do. To all of the safes I can open. There are 3 in my mind that you can access before making it to Rotfront, and there could even be more I'm not remembering. I'm going to decipher as many of the number stations as I can and look into the ones that could potentially fit as a safe code. Currently all the numbers read out on station 128.4 are either too short or too long. But I know that a certain ACHTUNG message reads them out in sets of 6. https://youtu.be/vq8Ny62379E?t=43 This is seemingly the source of the ACHTUNG message read out on the penrose before the crash. It is also read out on the profile screen of the game. So I'm going to transcribe it. Luckily for this one a good chunk of the numbers actually appear on screen in the game so I have less radio listening and game recording to do yay. And that is where I'm at in my key quest. The mensa key has to fit in here somewhere but im not entirely sure where. Maybe the 14 means the 14th string of numbers read out on one of the stations we'll see once I have things written down. If you've read this far you must be one of my friends lmao cause I cant imagine this is too inch resting, but thank you to both friends and followers alike!! it means a lot you'd care to hear my thoughts and speculations. Im also gonna be making a smaller post about the number readers i researched to figure this stuff out if u wanna see that.

[infernaltenor]

maybe im just a super salty person bc its 5am and im Still not sleepingn and Still thinking about it but i cant help but feel that qtubbo fans are some of the most hypocritial people ive ever seen. this is like. full of generalizations and just observations ive made as a crow and im. typically defensive and salty so im gonna try to be objective but at the very least im not trying to neg on the characters or the ccs, since im directing this towards the fans. its also like a solid two months of build up .so. oops?

but uh. how to start explaining this. well for one im taking this as a recent fan who is a phil watcher pretty much only. but i tend to chronically read posts about other characters since when im into things i like to be informed on all cases (idk constant instinct i have lol). like i said im gonna focus on qtubbo here, if i go into qphil stuff its purely as a comparison point. i cant speak much on interactions with other fanbases since i simply am Not informed enough but yknow.

for one, i think both tubbo and phil ahve similar things when remembering lore that is Not their own. not a neg on either one, since i dont expect them to remember it, but both have forgotten major stuff recently, ie. fred's kidnapping (phil) and the birdhouse (tubbo). both things happened before purgatoryand the subsequent forgetting happened after so even in character it makes sense (they had more to worry about), but i also think reactions in character tends to fuck with audience perception. ie, tubbos very visceral reaction to the ill timed fred joke phil had made (and it was ill timed, and thats all that i feel was criminal about it. tubbo and phils friendship is very much based on banter and friendly barbs, lots of teasing from either side. phil simply shot back on a smilar level as tubbo had originally, making his joke about "phil and who?". other people have spoken on that so im not gonna rehash about whos comment was worse, since imo they were both just shy of being insensitive, had tubbo not been dealing with freds presumed death at the time. im not gonna talk about the funeral, becasue if i do i'll get mad.). likewise, when tubbo forgot birdhouse phils reaction was much less outwards. he just said a birdhouse wouldnt be slaying- given the imprisionment he had, it makes sense that phil would associate it negatively, especially since it catalzyed all of his future derealization episodes. both of these are simply ooc things imo, from their original standpoint. i dont think either is in the wrong for forgetting. but what annoys me is the fandom perception.

this is a problem im going to link back heavily to purgatory. im not sure if it was present beforehand, as i only really got into qsmp the last two-three weeks in october (bad timing) and had only really been watching vods in order to catch up. that being said, i think the bolas and soulfire rivalry had widened the gap between the fans, which in turn affects negative perception. later weeks in november had full bad faith interpretations of phil because he was critical of tubbos choices or simply didnt understand sunnys character perfectly. and there were. a lot of those. purgatory had happened just a few weeks prior, so i liken it to that. maybe it is just my expierence, but the phrasing of a lot of character crit and analysis between the two has wildly different interpretations of a character (to wildly different results)

you can get qphil fans explaining against a bad faith interpretaiton, and people will (and have) called them excuses to defend against character analysis. i have noticed, however, when qtubbo fans do the same thing (and they have) it seems to be more of a matter of adding context to the conversation. thats.... exactly what qphil fans are doing however? when talking critically about qtubbo not communicating with other parents and friends both his and sunny insecurities, its all that hes younger and in a bad mental state. but you have something about phil not understanding sunnys character perfectly, and hes a cruel stepmother and such; and when an explanation is added to why hes not a bad father nor a good father, just an imperfect one trying his best, its simply a "mindless defense against a crit of his character". are these not the same things? providing context to a percieved bad faith interpretation? idk. i cant tell if its the age or the percieved roles theyre supposed to take, but why is tubbo allowed to be imperfect and doused in outward angst, especially when interacting with other characters (ramon had to take the initiative to communicate with tubbo. and yet. age age age.) phils just as complex and imperfect and unwell. all of qsmp is unwell. it is an explanation, not an excuse.

anyway. i think i was thinking about this because of the flightless bird/ostrich dna joke. ill timed, just like the fred one. but phils reaction speaks volumes doesnt it? if its an age one maybe he'll overdramaticize, but he laughs it off mostly. theres a lot he laughs off. he doesnt. "if your kid wasnt here id kill you". tubbo doesnt know about phils failed flight. he probably wont for a while (i cant help but think qphil is embarassed. he was knocked unconcious from hitting the water too hard. and he knows how to fly? fuck, man). i think its wild, however, that one fred joke gets the entire fanbase ready to deface and mischaracterize the whole character. but one wing joke gets maybe shocked laughter and about two posts complaining? idk. maybe im just complaining about nothing, im tired as fuck.

tldr is that tubbo fans are so wildly hypocritical that they cant see when theyre doing the same thing as everyone else. im sure im being hypocritical in this post, its human. but its annoying as fuck when its everywhere, and i think purgatory made it worse.

[gaoau]

一 ; one ; uno

it's so cold warnings — none. word count — 4.0k

next.

ive long realized plenty of things i never needed—the past is never behind us, the present is fleeting, the future doesnt exist. theres a wrinkle in the sands of time. theres a fault in the fabric of the universe. there are many flaws everywhere i look. sano manjiro lies dead before me. mikey lies dead before me. blond hair and a dragon tattoo because we both miss ken. black hair that makes him look too much like shin. white hair and dark bags covered in tears. how many times have i seen this already? why have i seen this already? everything is broken. its disastrous and confusing and suffocating. i dont understand what im looking at.

i remember, just seconds ago, i was busy beating up some random guys from a rival gang. theres a reason we rule over the kanto area. we dont back down from a fight. so where did i go? where am i? why am i seeing this now? these are memories of a future i dont have. these are memories of a future i shouldnt have. its enough to drive me insane when i think that this is all i get for being next to mikey. i hold my breath and choke whenever hes around. that intoxicating grace of his, the one that sets him apart from the world, has been flooding my senses for longer than i can take. and i let him, because i want him to be happy. this is all i get; blood, gore, pain, death, loneliness.

i dont want to think about mikey any longer. ive done all i could, it seems. id just like to be free for one moment. i still see it all, futures im not a part of, futures that takemichi has made sure to change.

he wears that godforsaken dragon tattoo like a brand on his neck. long hair hes kept dyed through the years because he doesnt want to cut it off, but he doesnt want me to style it for him. i look at him and i see ken. its torture. the years have gone by, im still by his side, he still has me locked in place. he hasnt smiled in what feels like eons. im okay with that. his smile, that empty, silent smile has always made my stomach ache. im not okay with that. hes a carbon copy of ken. we both miss him, i know. it hurts him more than me, even if im the one staring at a burning ghost all day, every day.

we're alone. im alone with mikey. im all alone when im with him. its cold on top of this building, in the corner of the world, secluded from the city weve conquered. i stretch out my legs, leaning against the wall, squinting at the reflection of led lights bending to hit my eye. mikey is still as small as ever. hes so small despite sitting on his throne like this. the gun i hold weighs on my hand. neither of us know how to properly handle guns. weve been drowning in this business for over a decade, but we're very clearly still children.

the safety clicks as i press the barrel under my jaw. "itd be so easy, dont you think?" the sound of my voice calls to him. its the only familiar sound in his life. its why ive been staying with him. i couldnt save him, but at least he still clings onto me like this. hes had me trapped for so long that i seem to have forgotten i was ever my own person.

his darkened eyes shift towards me so slowly. i see his face twist into a panicked frown. "whatre you doing?" he doesnt move from where hes sitting against the wall adjacent to mine. he reaches with his foot to tap my knee. stop, hes trying to say, dont even think about it. hes scared, i can tell. ive learned to read him like the open book he is. his light has grown dimmer through the years. hes angry, i can tell. hes wondering if ill leave him, too.

"nothing," i sigh. i lower the gun and leave it on my lap for a second. "m just thinking…" and i think. yes, i think. i know i cant leave him. he doesnt let me. he keeps me tied down to him. a chuckle falls, sardonic. i point the gun at him. "i cant die before you, mikey." ive promised. ive sworn to stay by his side until the bitter end—until his bitter end.

he doesnt bat an eye. "are you gonna kill me?" its funny how he doesnt care that im the one wholl be killing him. im just making my job easier for myself. i wonder what kind of face kisaki will make when he finds out what ive done.

"do you want me to?" i know he does. tonight ill see we find peace, manjiro. im the only one who he can lean on now.

hes quiet for a second. his eyes are like black holes as they swallow up all the light. he stares straight at me without expression. then, in a whisper, he begs, "…please." he doesnt say my name. no, he hasnt said my name more than once in our lives. he calls me by that stupid nickname he made up when we were hanging out at grandpas dojo.

i cant help the soft simper pulling at my lips. hes still the same mikey i know. he still struggles with asking for help, even if its me. but he still asks; hes still vulnerable in front of me. i pat my lap, legs stretched out just for him. "come here, then," i invite him closer, ready to welcome him with open arms, "rest your head for a bit." rest before you leave.

he doesnt hesitate. he never hesitates. in a swift movement, the back of his head collapses onto me. his eyes, the ones hes kept me trapped in for all my life, they dance around the vast expanse of midnight above us. "the stars are lovely today." stars i once promised to drag down to his feet if he asked. stars i swore wed always watch together.

i hum in agreement. "thats why we're here." everyone knows that stars only come out at night. we both know we're the two brightest burning stars in the world. we sit here, where people can see us burn and consume ourselves until we get crushed. "itll be over soon, i promise." the same way i promised him forever. ill hold him until the moment he dies. 

"thanks." ah, now he chooses to use my actual name. he can be so unfair. he could save a life, but he decided to take mine away instead. under his charm, i let him drag me down. we die hand in hand.

there are no tears; not from me, not from him. it seems weve both been waiting for the other to make the first move. hes so tired and so am i. with a singed throat, the words sting on my tongue as i remind him, "i love you, manjiro." theres no other feeling in the world like loving sano manjiro. i look into his darkened gaze and deny the truth staring back at me. its all a mess, scraping away at my mind. my love and hate look quite alike.

i can hardly tell light from dark or right from wrong anymore. mikey replies, "i love you." again, he dares not say my name. i hate him. he makes me go weak at the knees, even as i slump against the wall. i wonder if its him or the cross im bearing on my back, weighing me down.

mikey closes his eyes. he wants to let go. hes letting me go. its been years and hes finally letting me go. the wind howls and screams our names in my ears as i press the barrel of my gun to his forehead. we're stars; we'll burn, we'll rest, we'll disappear. we go down together. i shoot. his body relaxes against my legs. i feel the warmth of his blood seeping through my clothes. hes free. the gentle quirk of his lips tells me hes happy hes dead. maybe im just making it up. maybe i just want to believe ive done something.

i lift my head to the sky. the gun is warm against my skin. my pulse doesnt tremble when i pull the trigger.

im free.

but we arent free. i walk into his room to find mikey slumped against a corner. hes here again, a ghost of ken. how come his eyes grow darker every time i look? i scratch away an itch on the underside of my jaw, clearing my throat to let him know im here, it's me. he doesnt bother lifting his head for me. i stand right in front of him, bare feet centimeters away from his crossed legs. ive heard what hes done. he didnt check in with me before killing our friends. if takashi dies, then i stay. if pah dies, then i stay. ken and kei died, so i stay. he knows ill follow him to hell.

it hurts me, too. he cant let go of me and hes bruising my wrists. i want him to be happy. i want him to be free. i want to be free. "takashi, pah, peh, chifuyu." the list rings with poison in both of our ears. how did we get here?

"takemicchi got away," he mumbles. i highly doubt takemichi matters much right now. we stopped trusting him long ago. he changed after bloody halloween and mikey couldnt understand why.

i crouch to try and meet his eyes. charming, deadly works of art. viral. it's been years, but he still holds me in his gaze. "never woulda guessed chifuyu was working with tora. after killing kei, i thought for sure he wouldnt forgive him." theres no sugarcoating needed. i dont censor my words. his wounds are fresh and i keep digging my fingers into his flesh to make them deeper. i make all his mistakes real for him because he wants to be scolded. he cant ask for sympathy—he only asks for cruelty.

theres a pause. a silence that hangs. it's heavy, stagnant. it pulls at the seams. "kazutora needs to go, too."

my knees come in contact with the floor as i lean towards mikey. i wrap my arms around his head, cradling him to my chest. hes still warm. he rests his forehead against me. "theres no time, mikey. you cant do this any longer." youre falling apart, manjiro. i pull my gun from its holster, cocking it as i bury it in his hair.

"set me free." he pronounces that stupid nickname, chaos of my real name. i cant discern if hes begging or ordering me.

i hum softly. he put his trust in me. "i love you." he nods. the gunshot echoes in the quiet room. it rings in my ears. i see splatters of mikeys blood on the wall. i feel his body relax in my arms. with the barrel against my temple, i shoot myself free.

a headache splits my skull apart as i watch this unwind. have i seen this before? no, mikeys hair is pitch black. im glad he doesn't let it fall over his forehead. i don't think i could bear to look at shin so much. i was adamant to cut it for him when he asked. the list is the same, though much longer. takashi, pah, peh, chifuyu, tora, the twins, hakkai, even ken. hes talking with takemichi now. it's easy to tell what mikey wants from him. im no good in this future. i don't have what takemichi has.

there is nothing left here for us. i wait among the shadows and debris, listening to mikey confess all his crimes. he veered down the wrong path. ive kept by his side all this time, holding him at his most vulnerable, but im not a savior. takemichi can save him in a way i can't. all ive done so far is push back the inevitable. mikey falls victim to his dark impulses every time. who am i to stop him? he keeps the safety of his gun on; i don't. i can save myself.

"kill me," he says. i feel like ive heard that before. it's not directed at me, though. i won't stop him. all mikey wants is to die and be free. that's what i want, too.

takemichi is, understandably, confused. he doesn't get it. maybe that's why mikey has chosen him. takemichi tries to figure out what mikeys trying to tell him. he asks about the friends hes murdered. it must be frightening for him to hear his former commander speak so nonchalantly about setting hakkai on fire. he asks about me. mikey glances at where im hidden. i catch the look in his eyes. those eyes that had me wrapped around his finger when he so intensely stared into my soul. they quiver.

hes helpless. hes scared. hes tired. hes horrified. he doesn't know what to do. he pounces on takemichi and threatens him. then a gunshot rings. it's not mikeys, it's not takemichis. and it's certainly not mine. mikey is dead. mikey is free. i swore to him that i would see him to his end. we die hand in hand, don't we, manjiro?

tachibana naoto, hinas little brother shot him. i remember her mentioning him to me once. ironic how hes the one to kill mikey, of all people. as takemichi cradles mikeys dead body in his arms, i step out of my waiting spot. it alerts both men instantly. naoto is wary of my presence, but takemichi believes in hope. he exclaims my name with enthusiasm. perhaps he thought mikey had killed me as well when he didn't answer. as if mikey would ever let me go.

"im just here to pick him up," i let them know i mean no harm.

naoto is a cautious man, if anything. "takemichi-kun, get behind me." id never do anything to hurt takemichi. he doesn't need to be worried about me.

i kneel before takemichi, extending my arms out. i remove mikeys burdens from his chest to take him away with me so we can both find peace. his blood smears on my clothes and i know takemichi will have a hard time forgetting this sight. mikey doesn't weigh much. it's painful knowledge.

as i haul mikey away, takemichi calls, "wait!"

there's nothing left to say, though. mikey has confessed all his crimes. mikey has confessed all his pains. "it's over, takemichi." i can't bring myself to curse him with that stupid nickname after all these years. "it's finally over." we're finally free. welcome home, manjiro. i wonder, if i smiled, would it hurt him? it'd be genuine happiness, but it's not like he'd be able to read that, so i don't. mikeys body is cold and stiff against mine. i let him rest against me, eyes closed and dried tears on his cheeks. he hasn't cried in so long. he leans his head on my shoulder. he always does this when he lets his vulnerability show. "i love you, manjiro," i remind him. hes all i have. i press my gun to the roof of my mouth. i don't get to taste it.

it's never over. my tongue feels dry when i chew on it out of anxiety. ive heard three shots. i see haru waiting behind a corner as mikey finishes his business. i didn't even glance at takemichi before i decided i couldn't do this. i wonder how much longer it'll take mikey to come up here and join me. this is the tokyo we conquered; this is not the dream mikey had. if he'd had a better moral compass, if he hadn't let ken go, if he hadn't put his trust in me, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

i hear footsteps behind me. here he is. i hug one of my legs to my chest, the other one dangling off the edge. we're on top of the world. it's a long way back home from up on this rooftop. he stands next to me in complete silence. so he's left takemichi to die. he was hopeless and helpless until the very end. i can't blame him. he's been through so much. he doesn't know how to share. he takes on all of the pain. he can only ask to be punished, because aid isn't a word in his vocabulary.

mikey pipes up, "you've been waiting for me here?" it doesn't surprise him at all. i know him like the back of my hand. this is how he takes responsibility for the last decade of misfortunes. he'll end it all.

"i couldn't bare to watch you keep making these mistakes," i reply truthfully. ive seen this before. i glance up at him and he glances down at the street. don't look down, manjiro. you won't survive this trip to hell.

it sounds like he wants to laugh. he doesn't. instead he brings back a conversation we had when we were fourteen. "that's why you're better than me." hardly. he says that stupid nickname clinging to me like a curse.

"after you." i motion towards his kingdom, to the path covered in blood and snow.

mikey looks at me briefly, quiet. then he cranes his neck up at the sky. "you won't stop me?" i see the tattoo on his nape. he put it there so he wouldn't have to look at it. it burns on his skin as it burns on my shoulder blade.

"i can't." i don't have the rights to stop him. i didn't do it in other timelines, im not going to start now. this is the only way for us to be free. it's tragic how unfortunate we are. maybe we deserve it.

how does one normally respond to a friend committing suicide? how does one respond to a friend letting them commit suicide? it's not what mikey does when he hums. "i'll see you later." he disappears into his own mind. whose face is he seeing? shins? emmas? i would hope. "everyone, let's do this!" there's a grin on his face. ive missed it. he hops off the roof and away from me.

"ill see you later."

i hear haru screaming all the way from the street. he's distressed. he's been with manjiro just as long as i have. mikey trapped him the same way he trapped me, but somehow worse. i know im not free as long as i stay next to mikey. i stay out of love and selfishness. haru stays out of fear and obsession. i know im not free, but im still my own person.

and i don't fool myself.

mikeys falling to his death, peaceful. an arm shoots out from the building and latches onto him. i smile bitterly, a sigh tumbling from my lips. "sucks that death is a bit of a bitch for both of us." i want to jump, too. i stick to my perch and swallow my pride, because im my own person, but im not. i can't die before mikey, i can't leave him alone.

i see the tears pouring out of his eyes. he begs for help, finally, for the first time in his life. it's enough to make me cry, too. he's being weak for the whole world to watch him burn himself to oblivion. takemichi scolds him. he struggles to hold on when the cross he's bearing weighs him down. twelve years of pain make him slip from his saviors grasp. there's nothing i can do.

blond hair and passive, ken's tattoo, black hair and chaos, izana's earrings. reality is broken for me, pieces of different timelines scattered on the floor. i have all these memories that aren't mine. mikey lies dead before me in a billion angles no one else can see. i don't understand why im seeing this now. i know ive seen it before. it's been two years since i last had to suffer through this. time is shattered and it hurts.

i hear that nickname ring in my ears. when i blink, mikey's corpses are gone. there's a weight in my hand and it's not from a gun. im gripping an unconscious boy by the collar. my knuckles sting. the skin of my hands is split open, bleeding. i remember now. we were wiping out a rival gang that challenged us. i turn towards mikey, trying to blink him into focus. "sorry, what'd you say?"

he stares back at me with hollow eyes. there's a tiny furrow in his brow that others wouldn't be able to pinpoint. "let's go," he repeats, nodding his head for me to follow him. i see haru and koko waiting for us behind him. they both look away when i catch their gazes.

"oh, yeah." i clear my throat. the kid im holding slips from my fingers and crumbles on the floor. his head bounces when it hits the ground. next to the blood splattered on the dirt, a tear drops. i realize it's mine instantly. im crying. i wipe at my eyes with my sleeve to pretend nobody saw me. i don't think i can explain what's made me cry like this in the middle of a fight. there's a discomfort in my throat, and remnants of a headache pulse in my temples, and the roof of my mouth itches. im still crying. the tears fall, but i feel nothing. this anguish isn't mine to feel.

i cough into my fist as i walk to stand next to mikey so we can head back. there's an open gash on his leg that he's ignoring. what's a little wound to the invincible mikey, after all? i know nobody is invincible, let alone manjiro, because i know people die, because ive killed him with my own two hands. ill take care of it for him later; mikey is my responsibility. he waits for me to join him. my shoulder brushes against his. he glares at my tears so intensely. "are you okay?" he asks quietly, like he doesn't want the two boys ahead of us to hear.

i turn my head to find his eyes. it's like he's trying to bring all my deceit to light, like im not allowed to hold secrets. i see those black holes that swallow up his own deceit. all i see, rather than the mikey right in front of me, is his corpses in variety, because i killed him, because i let him die, because that's what he wanted and that's the only way he could be free. so i clear my throat again, "yeah, just got dizzy." he knows it's a lie, instantly. my voice doesn't waver when i lie, but it gets small. he knows.

he lets silence hang for a moment. "did you eat today?"

i shake my head. "i was waiting for you." my attention flutters back to the two boys a few paces ahead. they're awfully quiet.

so is mikey. i feel him still staring at me. "okay." and he looks away, too.

[fictionfixations]

This is so off topic but i really want to write a time travel fic of someone twst. Like an actual multichapter one not just the oneshot with silver and sebbie (and yuu) I blame the actual sebek time travel fic i read before i made it to book 7 And i blame the fact i had a dream where sebek had time traveled and like he was doing stuff to undo things and he got caught and they were waiting for him to explain and it was tense and somehow he ended up pretending to be asleep to get out of it and also did i forget to mention that I was sebek and it felt so real that for a few minutes i was just sitting there in bed still pretending to be asleep waiting for someone to leave and then slowly was trying to think like ‘..this doesnt feel like–’ cause sebek was like leaning on lilia’s shoulder ????? or something like that and i realized WAIT that was just a DREAM

Its wild. Like. there was this person who was like trying to get sebbie to stop threateningly like ‘i have a criminal record’ and he kept repeating it and its just aAAA (as in they arent afraid to get violent D:) IDK it felt like there was like some war going on in the background with lilia and malleus and some horrible thing was going to happen that sebek wanted to stop

And so it was in the library with something something secret passage that led to like 3 glowing blue balls (HAHA BALLS) on top of like a cushion in a box and i cant remember wtf they did just that they were important. I cant remember if it was a bad thing or not. I think that probably came from LoCF influence cause of the thing in the library crossman curse thingy whatever i forgot

But so it was really nerve wracking.

And i remember reading this fic with general lilia having a twin and it was started because the person writing it had dreams of it. And i was like woah thats cool. I dont think id have dreams like that but id like to.

HAHA i jinxed myself like months later cause wtf it felt weirdly real even though its nothing like my irl life. Like usually i get tricked because its taking place in locations ive been to before (i once had a dream i had a cat and i felt so sad because i didnt have one irl) but NOPE 

Anyway idk where silver was but it was strongly implied that it was in the past past like general lilia type past except malleus existed then too

Idk why sebek was there (or why i was sebek ??? i think i just got huge brainrot rfom that sebek time travel fic tbh)

but so . i was so hesitant to say something about it bc idk it felt weird so i sat on this for 4 days but weirdly enough i still remember a good chunk of it like the many details i just didnt write down originally

..i feel like this is a sign i should write it. i just wish i knew what the balls were for 💀. i mean i think it was bad because the library was implied to be like in like their home or base right?? and he was trying to take it away. but he was gonna touch it with his bare hand idk dream logic causing dumb shit im pretty sure they're magical balls.

anyway i cant remember if he managed to get them or if he got caught or how?? did he get caught in the act? i mean how else would they be suspicious???

in the first place why are they not suspicious of him being there

like

like

did he somehow bullshit his way in there

like okay JP spoilers (i think it'll appear in the NEXT main story update on EN)

like how he was like describing to baur his grandpa (who is baur btw but baur doesnt know it i dont think?) and like how hes half fae and baur acknowledging him as one of them and is like 'well for all i know you could be a zigvolt' and like being accepting and its just like shfuisdhfuisehdij

but so anyway that worked so idk maybe it works for them. idfk what excuse he made up

aughhhh why do i have to have brainrot over this when im trying to write something else tho

[coyote-kiddo]

i was re-tagging some of my old posts and found this, so i figured i'd re-do it!!! (all at once because i do NOT have the memory to do it over 30 days)

i found petdre first via the aesthetic "babycore", and then slowly got more and more into agedre!! i also found out a while later that i had been involuntarily age regressing for years and hadnt noticed

my age when im small is kinda hard to pinpoint, but i would say somewhere between 3-5 most of the time!!

i dont have one, and i dont plan on getting one until im an adult (for safety purposes), but i have a few fictional cgs!! (stolas, toriel, and alastor are my biggest ones :3)

hm, i would say a day with one of my fictional cgs!! getting to play with the toys ive been wanting, color and draw, wear clothes that feel comfortable on my body, use teethers, bottles, diaps and pacis and watch my favorite shows without being judged or being embarrassed abt it :3 plus a nice warm bubble bath, baba of warm almond milk and a lullaby before bed!!

i have loads of sippies, a few bottles, a few teethers, a paci and one disposable diap as of right now, but i really really want a babyyourdoll classic round paci!! and also pull ups, mostly js for comfort :33 i would also like more silicon teethers bc they feel nicer than gel/water teethers heheh

i pet dream occasionally, not as often as i used to but still occasionally!! i petdre to an afghan hound, a kitty, a fox, and im considering trying wolf pup, fruit/vampire bat and deer :3

when i age dream, im not too much different from when im big bc my headspace doesnt change as much- im just a bit more childish and less embarrassed about stuff!! regressed me is wayy different though bc my regression is almost always negative- im typically more emotional, childish, clingy, and annoying.

i prefer drawing!!! i like to color also but drawing just feels so freeing to me :3

my moots!!! too shy to tag but i love them sm /p /gen

regression is almost always invol for me because of anxiety and trauma, its also usually negative which is kinda sucky

yepp!!

not that i can remember, ive used regression gear in dreams before but never regressed

this one is kinda tricky- im gonna say probably either apple slice or salteens!! i also really love juice, chocolate, graham crackers and cheese and crackers :3

yes!! i never really grew out of them, even before i started to age dream ive collected them :3

just my stepmom and my dad, i dont really think they remember though

bubs, kiddo, buddy, and little guy are my favs!! masc nicknames are sooo gender affirming to me as a fem-presenting trans man :,3

my regression is usually negative and involuntary, but nothing usually makes me "instantly regress"- its kinda a coin flip- but something that makes me feel smaller when i age dream is fuzzy socks!!

nope 😭 even if im able to buckle down and have small time after ive been involuntarily regressed it just kinda fades away

its okay, i cant really speak on it much bc i have most people i dont feel comfortable with blocked and i dont have any other socials. though i do hate when people stereotype and gatekeep it, or water it down to "fem, pastel, cute way of coping for skinny white girls only"

not a lot, but if i stumble upon one in the tags i might read it :3c

yeah, but i dont really feel comfortable being tickled

stolas goetia from helluva boss!!!! he is literally my dada guys /silly

my preference changes constantly, but it would definitely have a crib that can be converted into a toddler/big kid bed w a canopy and mobile, a sensory tent, a bouncer, a play area and a deer rocker!!!

not really, it makes it harder for me to stay small sometimes

i regress because of trauma and anxiety, i age dream as a coping mechanism for stress, gender dysphoria and missing out on my childhood :3

i almost always have to be listening to music when small, regressed or age dreaming, and my music taste jus kinda stays the same

just boundaries i set for myself- dont intentionally seek out my triggers, dont stay up too late, eat when im hungry, etc

when i regress, i get very very clingy and sad and scared, so i come off as very needy and kinda annoying (+ blunt because i kinda forget how social rules work), when i age dream im basically the same as when im big, just gigglier and more childish

maybe!! i havent tried out caregiving before but i would like to!!

im in the process of learning italian, so i sometimes watch kids' shows in italian to help practice and to make myself feel smaller!!

[lazaruspiss]

DC Pride 2021

ive been meaning to do a read through of the DC Pride series all June. and, well. technically still June!

oh my god i recognize the name of the guy who wrote the foreword as the guy who wrote the shitty at best and misogynistic at worst nightwing 96 annual. so, uh, setting that aside for now, lol. the foreword is very sincere and sweet and im not gonna be one of those assholes who refuses to acknowledge that bc he wrote some dogwater nightwing comic years ago.

this isn't actually my first time reading most of the DC Pride comics, just my first time taking notes as I go through them. I do remember 2/3 of the Kate stories bringing me to tears, even when I didn't really know anything about her character.

ok yeah this one still gets me. go read it. for reference, i start crying the page before we first see kate cry. it's beautifully illustrated, and hits me right where it hurts.

john constantine hits on a extraño, listens to him tell a story about how he and midnighter fought a homophobic neo nazi vampire, and then john invites him and his werewolf husband to a threesome.

i love the vibes thatre just. like its so cliche noir detectives, but lesbians. and the dorky ending. MWAH, chefs kiss.

shout out to the guys that just stay sat eating their food as a giant plant monster tears up the park. while im not at all a fan of the "kiss and make up" trope(s), i do appreciate that this story at least gives some mention to how ivy and harley kinda approach their relationship from opposing angles. like, i like harlivy well enough, but my ideal world is one where they learn about themselves by being together but eventually move on from their romantic relationship and explore new things. i just don't like how heavily DC seems to have tied them together since they became canon. their friendship before was more romantic/compelling in my eyes, somehow.

this one's about alan scott! his history with his sexuality, explored through his relationship with his son. it's an incredibly important angle to look at these things through, the gap between generations and the changes that took time. it's easy enough to forget all that, sometimes. it's fun seeing the difference between how father and son describe the queer experience. it's also just really sweet.

ohhh they made mirror master hot... reflek... dumbass name but a killer outfit. this ones more about the flash family tradition of trying to do it all and bein a bit of a mess, lol.

love that pied piper goes to this guy and is like "yeah ok, i appreciate the effort but this doesn't actually work. like you're right but we gotta figure smth else out bc the world don't work like that." also they do use the phrase "mind-rapey" which for some reason gets me. then they go threaten a landlord <3

pretty sure the main girl "Dreamer" is from a CW show or something, so i've never heard of her. her powers seem cool and the story is cute enough, but i assume it all makes more sense to those who have seen the show.

one of these days ill learn anything about other aqualad. there's a lot going on in this one and i find it hard to follow. it's supposed to be a big "everyone together!!" moment i think, but the story lengths don't allow for enough build up to really pull stuff like that off.

and the end is a bunch of arrowverse profiles, i think. you cant make me watch a CW show, sorry.

[leclercenjoyer]

uh

"pierre?" charles says, voice small, "are you still awake?" the arm she has around pierres middle tightens, pulling them closer together. shes warm against pierres back. 

"what is it, squid?" 

"how did you know you were into guys?" and the question is so unexpected it throws pierre for a loop. theres layers to that question, she knows, ones that her sleepy brain isnt equipped to process at the moment. 

"dunno," pierre answers honestly, "probably some actor I thought was hot. or, you remember that drummer from that band i was really into-" 

"yeah but i mean like. actual guys. guys in real life." and charles sounds a bit frustrated, like pierre isnt getting it. 

"darling, what is this about?" Pierre asks, and grabs charles hand, strokes her thumb across the back of charles' hand, aiming for soothing. 

"i dont know if i ever… got that. you know that 'oh shit, hes hot' moment. i always thought everyone was exaggerating, or playing it up because they were supposed to. i thought i was supposed to." 

pierre thinks of teen nights spent in charles' room, reading girly magazines, how charles had never seemed quite as enthused now that she's looking back with the clarity of hindsight. she squeezes charles' hand, urges her to continue. 

"but now, with you, its different," and pierres heart thumps in her chest, but charles continues, "like, i get it now." 

"get what, angel?" pierre prompts, and she has an inkling of what charles is getting at, but she wants her to say it, knows itll help to put it into words. 

"what its supposed to feel like."

pierres breath hitches, and she curbs the urge to roll over and kiss charles silly, knows its probably easier for charles to get it all out like this, with pierres back to her. 

"i thought it was normal, just. you know, regular best friend stuff. i used to… god, this is fucking stupid, but i used to compare them to you. like, how i felt around them, versus how i felt around you. and they never matched up, not even close." 

and thats not something charles has ever told her before. theres so much, just in that statement, so much charles is trusting her with. 

"but it all makes sense, now," charles continues, "because with them i used to feel. i dont know, awkward. in the way. like i was playing a part and i didnt know my lines."

pierre laces their fingers together. 

"but with you it feels. right. you make me feel wanted. sexy, even. i never got that. before."

and the way charles is saying all this, pierre can tell shes been thinking about this a lot, knows her well enough to know shes been putting the lines together in her head, scripting it out as a way to put her thoughts into order. she squeezes charles' hand again, pulls it up to her mouth to press a tiny kiss to her palm, to the delicate skin of her wrist. 

"basically what im trying to say is, ive never felt like this about anyone, before you. and its a little scary but also not. because its you." 

and pierre cant take it anymore, has to kiss her right now, because she can, so she lets go of charles' hand and turns around in her arms, feeling around with her hands in the dark until she finds charles' soft cheek, finds the corner of her mouth with her thumb and leans in to press a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. 

"ive never felt like this before, either," she says, voice earnest and choked, "like, ive been attracted to people. but ive never been in love before." 

and the words left unsaid in that statement ring loud in the silence, before, before. before now. charles freezes, and pierre freezes, heart in her throat, barely daring to breathe because shes laid it all out now, theres no going back, and she has a moment to worry shes fucked it all up, before charles pipes up:

"i think im a lesbian," she blurts out, and theres a beat of silence before she breaks into wheezing giggles, the sweetest sound pierre has ever heard, and fuck, but pierre loves her. 

"fuck, im sorry, im sorry, if i didnt say it now i was never gonna get it out," charles chokes out between wheezes, "hang on, hang on," and she takes a deep breath, trying to get herself under control, and pierre cant help her own little laugh. 

"easy, squid," she says, stroking her thumb across charles' cheekbone, waiting for her to calm down. it takes her a few moments, a few false starts where it seems shes gotten it under control before she breaks again, and pierre waits, because no. matter what, she will always, always wait for charles. 

"i love you," charles says finally, when she can catch her breath again, and its nothing they havent said to each other before, except, "im in love with you. youre it, for me." 

and pierres heart squeezes in her chest, lighter than its ever felt before, and she leans in to press another kiss to her lips. 

"youre it for me, too," and pierre is pretty sure its been coming for a while, but to have it laid out like this feels like. she doesnt have a point of comparison. theres nothing like this in the world, shes pretty sure, tripping headfirst into love with her favorite person in the world, and knowing she'll match her every step of the way.

"and congrats on the lesbianism," she adds, because she wants to hear charles' bright peal of laughter again, matches it with her own before she muffles them both with a kiss.