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dccomicsimagines · 4 years ago

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A Loooooong Time - Wally West x Reader

Requested by Anon - Can you write an imagine where the reader hasn't been touched or had any intimate time with Wally for a loooooong time and she wants to know why and Wally confesses that he's afraid to hurt her during sex cause he can get a little too fast? Thank you!

***

Wally pressed you back against the wall. His lips sealed to yours. You ran your hands up and down his back before slipping your fingers under his shirt to touch his bare skin. He moaned, vibrating slightly under your touch.

Three, two, one and Wally was suddenly out of your grasp. “Sorry.” He was on the other side of the room with his back to you.

You sighed in disappointment and frustration. “It’s okay.” You bit your lip, watching his hands vibrate as he looked out the window of your apartment. Gathering your courage, you cleared your throat. “Is something wrong, Walls?”

“What? Something wrong? No.” Wally laughed too hard. A fake laugh. You wrinkled your nose.

“Come on, Walls. We can’t go more than a minute of kissing before you run away.” You wrung your hands. “Is it because what happened last time we...got farther?”

Wally turned to look at you, eyes wide, face flushed. “No. I couldn’t be upset that I hurt you. No way.” A hint of sarcasm slipped into his voice.

You rolled your eyes. “Wally, you didn’t mean to hurt me. You just moved a little too fast for me, but we can try again. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“(Y/N), beautiful. I can’t risk it again.” He looked back out the window, leaning against the frame. “Hurting you was the worst thing I have ever done.”

“Now you’re being overdramatic.” You went to his side and took his hand. “The worst thing you’ve done is mock my cooking skills.”

Wally snorted. His hand limp in your grasp. “Making me laugh isn’t going to work.”

“Then what will work, Wally West?” you said with a smirk. “I miss you.” You looked at him with wide, wanting eyes. He choked on his breath.

“No!” He jerked away from you. “I’m sorry, (Y/N), but no.” He grabbed his coat from the bed. “I’m heading home. I’ll call you.” A gust of wind hit you as he disappeared from your apartment.

Your shoulders slumped, sinking down to sit on the floor and hugging your knees to your chest. “Wally, why?” Tears threatened to fall from your cheeks, but you kept them back. You wouldn’t pity yourself, not when Wally clearly needed to get over his fear of hurting you.

***

Wally’s heart was in his throat as he zoomed to the med bay on the watchtower. “Where is (Y/N)?” he demanded, skidding to a stop when he came face to face with Martian Manhunter.

J’onn blinked before gesturing for Wally to lower his voice. “They are resting for now. We want them to stay the night.” He stepped aside. Wally rushed through the doorway, going straight to your bedside.

You looked ill. Monitors beeped quietly around you. Wally frowned at the IV in your arm and the blood bag attached to it. He gently took your hand. A throat cleared from the doorway. Wally glanced over to find Dick standing there. “What happened?”

“(Y/N) took three bullets.” Dick bit his lip, moving to Wally’s side somewhat nervously. “They were protecting some kids.”

Wally’s hand tightened around yours. You shifted slightly in your sleep before relaxing again. “I told you to protect them,” Wally said harshly. “You promised me you wouldn’t let them get hurt.”

Dick sighed. “Walls, I can’t be everywhere at once. (Y/N) knew the risks and they will recover.” He bumped Wally’s arm. “Besides, you could have protected them yourself if you would have came with us.”

“Don’t start that again. I’m angry enough that you took (Y/N) with you.” Wally sat on the edge of your bed, studying your face. He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your palm.

“Try to get some sleep, Walls. It won’t help (Y/N) if you stay up all night,” Dick said, slipping out of the room once he saw he no longer had Wally’s attention.

Wally stared at you for a long time, counting each breath you took. He almost had a heart attack when he got the call you were injured. Why were you always getting hurt? At least this time it wasn’t by him. He swallowed hard.

Time passed, his eyes struggled to stay open. After a mental debate with himself, he carefully laid down beside you. You shifted closer to him, sighing in your sleep. Wally froze, panicked before forcing himself to relax. Resting his arm on your hip, he fell asleep with the comfort you were safe.

***

You felt a heartbeat against your cheek. Wally’s cologne tickled your nose. You took a deep breath, ignoring the pain that floated through your body. Opening your eyes only a little bit, you smiled when you saw the warmth you felt by your side was in fact Wally West himself.

Joy filled you along with contentment. This was the first time in a long time that Wally would dare cuddle with you. “I should get hurt more often,” you whispered to yourself before closing your eyes again and enjoying yourself.

***

“Wally, I can walk, you know.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you to your apartment.

“I know, but I don’t want you to get overtired.” Wally blushed, giving you a tight smile. You nuzzled his neck, giggling when you felt his pulse throb against your nose. “(Y/N).”

“Wally.” You smirked at him. He grumbled, bumping your apartment door open with his hip. “Thank you.” He set you on your couch.

“You’re welcome.” He sat beside you, leaving a wide space between you. “Are you in pain? Do you need your pain meds?”

“No, I’m good.” You smiled at him and took his hand. “Just sit with me.”

Wally shifted uncomfortably, but stayed where he was. Silence fell between you. It was peaceful. You closed your eyes, relaxing. Wally’s hand stayed in yours. Suddenly, Wally’s stomach growled, breaking the silence.

You laughed. “Hungry?” you asked, opening one eye to look at him.

“Always,” he chuckled. “Do you want Chinese? I can have it in a flash.”

“Sure.” You bit your lip. Your heart soared. He was almost like the Wally you first fell in love with. “You know what I want.”

He got to his feet and started to lean down to kiss you. You leaned up to meet him when he suddenly hesitated, eyes wide. A frown pulled at your lips, pleading with your eyes for him not to regress into his self-doubt. Wally’s eyes shined and he slowly leaned down to press his lips against yours. You didn’t move, too afraid you would scare him off like a rabbit in the woods.

“I’ll be back soon.” He pulled away too quickly and was gone with a gust of wind. You sighed contently. It was progress.

***

��Ouch, ouch, ouch,” you mumbled as you bent over to turn on the facet of your bathtub. The water ran. You ran your fingers under the stream, testing the temperature. Once it was warm enough, you stood back up. “Ouch, ouch, ouch.” You moved to get out the bottle of bubble bath, gasping when it hurt your wound. The bottle fell to the floor.

Wind rustled your hair as the bottle was suddenly in Wally’s hand. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be resting.”

“Yeah, but I feel gross.” You blushed, taking the bottle out of Wally’s hand and dumped some into the tub.

“Babe, how are you going to get into the tub? Or get undressed?” He blushed redder than his hair.

“I can manage.” You rolled your eyes. Bending down again, you gasped in pain. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Wally helped you up. “Let me help you.”

You ducked your head to hide a smile. Wally’s hands shook as they moved to your shirt. “Thank you.”

Wally hummed. You shivered as the cloth of your shirt slid against your skin. He pulled it over your head gently. You hissed slightly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” A smile pulled at your lips when you saw Wally’s eyes roamed your bare chest. “Like what you see?”

Wally’s face turned as red as his hair. “Always.” He smirked. Slowly, he dropped to one knee to pull off your pants. “I missed this.”

“Me too.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “Maybe you could join me in the bath like we used to?” He looked up to meet your eye as he tugged down your underwear. “We won’t do anything, because I’m not able to move the way I would like to, but I just want to be held by you, Walls.” A tear slipped down your cheek. “I thought I was going to die.”

Wally swallowed hard. “When I got the call, I almost vibrated my phone to pieces.” He hesitated for a moment. His face pressed against your stomach. “You scared me.”

You closed your eyes, enjoying the vibration of his mouth against your stomach. “I know.” You glanced at the bathtub. It was dangerously close to overflowing. “I think we should get into the bath, huh?”

Wally smiled, getting to his feet to pick you up in his arms like you were the most fragile thing in the world. “I think we should.” He stepped into the tub and sat down with you in his lap.

You gasped. “Wally, you still have your clothes on.” You laughed hard enough to hurt your healing wounds.

“Oops.” He looked down at himself in genuine surprise. “I got distracted, but this is fine. You’re comfortable, right?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” You snuggled into him. “I love you.”

Wally kissed your forehead. “I love you too.”

***

Weeks passed and you healed. Wally stayed with you the entire time. He didn’t shy away from touching you, even going so far as to sleep next to you. It made you feel like you were on the top of the world.

Wally’s confidence grew. You saw it in his step and in the way he kissed you. The insecurity that had haunted him for so long was slowly disappearing.

“Keep your eyes closed, babe.” Wally’s hands covered your eyes for a second before disappearing. You laughed, delighted.

Things moved around. You heard a lighter flicking on and off. “Wally, was that a lighter?”

“Maybe.” He chuckled, coming back to your side and leading you toward your bedroom. Your heart skipped a beat. “Okay, open your eyes.”

You timidly opened your eyes to find your bedroom lit by candles and the bed covered in rose petals. “Oh Wally.” A huge grin grew onto your lips as you looked at him. He blushed, standing there shirtless. His hands vibrated, revealing how nervous he was.

“I want to try again if you’ll have me.” He smiled sheepishly, finally meeting your eye. You smirked at him.

“Always.” In a move so quick that you almost caught him off guard, you kissed him hard and knocked him back onto the bed. He laughed and kissed you back. You finally had your Wally back, and you will argue he was better than before.

#wally west #wally west x reader #wally west imagine #kid flash #kid flash x reader #kid flash imagine #dc comics imagines #dc reader insert #young justice imagines #yj imagine

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wing-ed-thing · 4 years ago

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Click (Part IV: Rock Lee)

Synopsis: You invited everyone out to dinner. You also audibly clicked. People had opinions about this.

Word Count: 2,228

Warnings/Tags: Attempt at Humor, Fem!Reader

Part I: Shikamaru, Part II: Shino, Part III: Neji, Part IV: Rock Lee , Part V: Naruto, Part VI: Kiba, FINALE, The Message in Click

Notes: Come get y’all juice! For all of y’all who only like this series for Shikamaru, I can safely say that he will make an appearance in all six (6) parts. I don’t know why I always write Ino and Kiba as jerks when I need them, but I’ll be writing some much deserved love for them soon!

Rock Lee felt completely and utterly mortified. Absolutely destroyed beyond any reasonable measure. In fact, he might as well have curled up right there in the dirt right where he stood. He stared, wide eyed, tears near brimming in his waterline.

“You a-are, you are serious, Shikamaru?”

Shikamaru’s hand draped across his face, pulling at the skin below his eye. He glanced around in search for a way out of the conversation he got roped into, but to no avail. He would definitely need a smoke after this. Shikamaru huffed, shifting his weight to his back leg.

“Well, yeah, but it’s really not a big deal though Le-”

“I missed our dear friend’s birthday! Oh, Shikamaru, how will she ever forgive me?” Lee lunged forward, grasping at the shadow-user’s hands in desperation. Shikamaru nearly toppled over. He held out his wrists in front of his body, an effort to keep Lee at bay.

Shikamaru couldn’t help the helpless expression that crinkled his brow. Afterall, this was his own fault. He should have known that bringing up your birthday to Lee could only end in disaster. He didn’t even mean to mention it, it just slipped out before Shikamaru could completely foresee the consequences.

“I’m sure she’s already forgiven you.” Shikamaru reassured the practically melting ninja in front of him. Lee shook his head wildly from side to side.

“No! I must rectify this!” Lee exclaimed, eyes flaming.

Before Shikamaru could say anything, Lee bolted off. Shikamaru sighed, hand retreating into his pockets. Unfortunately, he was someone else’s problem now.

***

“How could you not tell me?” Lee cried, a stream of tears flowing down his cheeks. A contrite look of complete and utter sorrow overtook his face. Neji and Tenten looked at their teammate blankly, unsure as to what exactly it was that they were supposed to do.

“Tell you…?” Tenten waved her hand in a circular motion in front of her. Lee nearly burst into tears as he cried your name loudly.

“Why did you not tell me that her birthday was yesterday?!” Tenten stiffened, diverting her eyes down to the side. She clenched her teeth, eyes widening. Neji paid no attention, but per usual frowned anyway.

“Did you really call a team meeting to talk about this?” He questioned flatly. Tenten crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling very small.

“I-” She drew out the syllable. “-didn’t know about all that. About the birthday thing...”

“I did not either!” Lee exclaimed, lunging at Tenten for a supportive hug. She quickly dodged out of the way.

“I did.” Neji put promptly, crossing his arms as well. Tenten turned to him in surprise.

“You did?” She asked, still fending off an energetic Lee. Neji’s scowl deepened.

“Yes, why else did you think she was asking everyone to come to dinner with her?” Tenten’s lips formed a line. Her thumb repeatedly brushed over a patch of skin on her upper arm.

“D-doesn’t she do that all the time though?” She chuckled nervously, the rubbing becoming more frequent. Neji scoffed.

“Please, Tenten. Did you see the dress she was wearing? There’s n-” Neji stopped. He cleared his throat, moving his hands to his hips as he looked up. He hoped that the slight tint of red would quickly drain from his cheeks. “I mean, she was obviously dressed for a special occasion.”

“A very special occasion indeed!” Lee declared, oblivious. “I guess it is better late than never to get a birthday present!” He looked at his two teammates with expectation.

“I’m not too sure that’s necessary since a day has already passed. It might be a slap in the face ‘cause you’re practically telling her that you forgot her birthday when it mattered. I think she’ll understand if you just leave it.” Tenten let out another anxious laugh. Her heel made circles in the dirt. “I didn’t get her anything. Neji didn’t either, right, Neji?” Neji quirked a brow.

“I did, actually.” Lee shouted at the statement as his hands came up to his face. Tenten stared up at the Hyūga.

“You did?”

“What did you get her?” Neji tilted his head up again, inwardly cursing his fair and pale complexion.

“None of your business.” He glowered.

“Then I will ask around to see what everyone else got her!”

And before either teammate could say anything, Lee was gone. Tenten tapped her foot, looking into the distance after Lee.

“It’s not like I knew it was her birthday.” She pouted.

“You still blew her off.” Neji muttered. Tenten pivoted quickly.

“So did you!” She pointed a finger before throwing her hands in the air. “We always blow her off ‘cause-” Neji held up a hand.

“Correction. I almost blew her off.” It didn’t seem physically possible, but his frown deepened. “It’s true that she hardly shuts up, but she’s actually… quite kind.”

***

Much to the fortune of Lee (and the misfortune of his new victims), he found Team Seven and the rest of Team Ten together. Ino and Sakura chatted animatedly together as Naruto and Choji brainstormed their plan of attack on the local eateries of Konoha. And Sai, well... Sai liked to be included.

Lee landed in front of the group causing the two women to nearly knock him out where he stood. If there was one thing that none of the Konoha 12 could ever get used to, it was Rock Lee’s random appearances from random places. It was a stealth undetectable by the sharingan and unseen on missions. Truly a phenomenon. He screamed something incoherent, per usual. Ino stumbled back.

“Lee!” Sakura scolded, eyes closed as she tried to compose herself from the scare. Steam poured from her nostrils. “What did we tell you about appearing out of nowhere?” She seethed. Ino marched up to the taijutsu user.

“Someone better have died for you to make an entrance like that. I swear, Rock Lee, I swear.” Lee sheepishly scratched the back of his head, bowing shallowly in apology.

“I apologize. I report no deaths. I simply have a question of the utmost urgency!”

Naruto peered over the shoulder of his teammate.

“What’s going on?” He questioned. Sai had already appeared by Ino.

Once again, Lee screeched your name aloud abruptly, causing the group to jump in surprise.

“I completely forgot to get her a birthday present!” Lee announced and his fellow ninja tilted their heads in varying degrees of confusion. Lee blinked, waiting for a larger reaction. His knees bent, hands held out with palms facing upward. “You know? For her birthday. Yesterday.”

The lot exchanged looks, wide eyes and circular lips abound.

“That… explains a lot.” Choji cringed, for one letting his bag of chips lower. Lee looked on in confusion at his ninja pals, not understanding the same pained looks that Tenten wore earlier. Sai leaned forward.

“Eh… the day of one’s birth is typically celebrated, correct?” He whispered, but Naruto immediately waved him off. Sakura exhaled forcefully and put a finger up to her lips.

“I assume that she invited the rest of you out?” She squinted one of her eyes, seeming almost afraid to ask. A pause.

“Yep...”

“Eh, yeah...”

“Yes, she did.”

“Uh-huh…”

Sakura crossed her arms, letting her head bow. Both of her eyes clenched shut now.

“And…” She started. “Everyone ignored her to go out with Kiba?”

A chorus of confirmation echoed around her. She cursed to herself under her breath, head snapping up towards the sky as her hands moved to her hips. Sakura shifted to one side as she sighed. Lee continued to watch on in puzzlement. Sakura covered her face, groaning.

“Do any of you have ideas for a gift?” He asked enthusiastically, but was ignored. The four ninja were simply too wrapped up in their own world and Sai, well… Sai just didn’t have a good idea.

“If I had known, I would’ve gone.” Sakura exhaled.

“Yeah, me too.” Naruto huffed. Ino and Choji remained quiet, exchanging looks between themselves. Sai looked on, expressionless.

“Well…” Ino pursed her lips. She took a deep inhale. “C’mon, are we really making a big deal out of this?” Lee’s brows furrowed together.

“Of course! It is a big deal! We forgot our comrade’s birthday and we-”

“Can I say what everyone’s thinking right now?” Lee paused. Ino looked around. “I don’t really think it’s a big deal.” She shrugged and crossed her arms.

“What do you mean?” Lee exclaimed, hands waving rapidly. Sai cleared his throat.

“Well,” Sai prompted with a smile. “It’s not like any of you liked her anyway.” Naruto widened his eyes in shock. His jaw dropped lightly.

“What?” He gritted, turning to Sai and grabbing him roughly by his collar. “Why would you say something like that?”

“No, no.” Choji cut in, stepping in between the two. “I hear what he’s saying. There’s no point in feeling guilty. Like let’s be honest here, it’s not like any of us were really her friends. Like really, Naruto, can you name a time that you actually talked?”

It went quiet. Lee had since lowered his head, his bangs covering his eyes.

“I should be going now.” And with that, he disappeared before anyone could say otherwise.

Naruto stared blankly at the spot Lee stood, lost in thought and pensive. Sakura’s green eyes flickered from the spot to Naruto’s face to his clench fist. She motioned for their three friends to continue onward. Choji opened his mouth to interject, but Ino pulled him swiftly away. Sai followed behind. Sakura put a tentative hand on his shoulder. Naruto shrugged her hand away.

“Naruto,” She spoke softly. “We’ll make it up to her, okay? Don’t beat yourself up.” Naruto shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Sakura. I gotta go.” Sakura called after him as he left, but didn’t chase after him. She knew better.

***

Rock Lee found you just as you were exiting the market. He jumped down in front of you, though you could hardly tell that it was him. Petals blocked your vision completely as he thrust the bouquet in your face. You recognized his voice.

“Happy belated birthday! Please forgive me!” You peered over the flora. Lee bowed deeply at the waist in front of you. He gripped the stems with both hands, stretching his arms out past his head. You gingerly took them from his grasp.

“Oh, thank you, Lee.” You blinked. “What are these for?” Lee struck another dramatic pose.

“Please accept these flowers as my sincerest apology!” You peered down at them, taking in their sweet scent. You brushed over the stems with your fingers, slowly piecing everything together in your mind. You looked back to Lee, whose determined eyes trained on yours. A smile broke out across your lips. A laugh fell from them.

“Lee, you’re so silly!” You giggled and for yet another time that day, Lee was once again very confused. You clicked happily. “This is too much, you really didn’t have to get me flowers.”

“It was the least I could do! Please, allow me to continue making up for forgetting your birthday!” You rocked on your heels, grin wide.

“Well since you missed dinner yesterday, how about you join me for dinner right now?” You offered, not intending to take him up on his offer for the some-odd punishment he likely had in mind. “Come on! Let’s get these flowers in water.”

Lee gladly followed you, and so, you led the way home.

Lee was sure that he had seen most everyone’s apartments, but he most definitely didn’t recognize yours. It appeared more like an elongated closet than any studio apartment he’d ever seen. As soon as you opened the door, Lee could see straight through your kitchenette into your bed area. A small table sat in between the two spaces. A door, which he assumed was the bathroom, existed to the right. He could tell that it was also small simply by the slimness of the doorframe. The memory of his earlier conversation with Team Seven and Ten flashed across his memory. Perhaps he didn’t know you as much as he thought… or liked for that matter. You didn’t notice his momentary dip in energy.

You slipped off your shoes at the mat by the entrance and Lee followed suit, closing the door as he did so. You padded across the small kitchen and plucked open one of your cabinets to reveal a small, glass vase.

“Um…” You turned to look over your shoulder as you filled the container. “You can take a seat. Table or my bed, whichever is comfier!” Lee eyed the basket full of ingredients from the market that rested on the small counter. You placed the vase on the table.

“Surely you are not planning to cook for me.” Disappointment flooded your eyes. Your shoulders dropped. You fiddled with your pants.

“Well, uh… I mean I was. Is that a problem?”

“No!” Lee answered with a certain amount of urgency. “But I should be the one to make dinner for you, not the other way around.”

“You cook, Lee?” You clicked. “You should join me!”

But Lee did not cook. He often tried but for whatever reason, he could never seem to make it work. Nonetheless, that didn’t curb his enthusiasm.

“Yes! I would very much enjoy that!”

He joined you in the kitchen. The flowers sat on the table.

Notes: It’s not entirely from Rock Lee’s point of view, but tired to sprinkle in some language that reflected how I thought he’d think. Good jokes? I thought I wrote at least one banger line 😂

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, and followed. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

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shannygoatgruff · 3 years ago

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Only Fan(s) - A Thriller

Genre: Thriller

Pairing: Modern Ivar/OC

Warning: Language, sex, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, sexual assault

Rating: MA+18

Summary: Sometimes OnlyFans subscribers want a little more than internet pictures. Sometimes they want to be your ONLY fan…

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Thanks to @xbellaxcarolinax for being my beta.

Disclaimer: This story will deal with some topics that might be a little uncomfortable for some people. As always, I’ll try to tackle the hard stuff as tactfully as possible.

a/n: I know it’s been a minute. I’m always thinking about these stories because I want to finish them, just can’t seem to focus on writing at the moment. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Part iv - Date with Destiny

Finding Ivar Lothbrok should have been easy. Between the two of them, he was the stable one. He was the one with the iron-clad schedule that consisted of drinking, smoking, and partying. Torren’s schedule was a bit more... fluid. She tended to go wherever the wind, or whatever car she acquired, would take her. Naturally, Ivar had the occasional meet-and-greet, red carpet, and/or Comic-con engagement that he had to attend, still, he was pretty easy to keep tabs on. All one had to do was look at (stalk) his social media accounts, and his whereabouts were posted for everyone to see.

Knowing where he’d be and finding out where he lived were a different story. Torren had done her due diligence when it came to locating the town in which Little Kattegat was located. It only took about two days and a few Google image searches of the background of a few of the photos and she had it narrowed down to a general area in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

From what she could tell, the closest town to where he lived was pretty small, and there were only a few large estates hidden in the woods. How hard could it be to find? She was willing to drive to every single house and knock on the door to find him if she had to. But it would just be easier if there was loud music and a bunch of cars in the driveway. That way she could tag along inside with the rest of the guests to get to her man.

Her shirt landed in the pile of dirty clothes in the center of the bed, as she reached around to unhook her bra. “I really need to tell Baby Boo to stop putting all of his business out in these streets,” her brows furrowed as she shook her head, “What if some crazy, psycho bitch started stalking him, or some shit? Then I’d have to kill a bitch.” Torren’s head whipped around and she narrowed her eyes at his picture, still stuck on her wall, “Is that what you want? Huh? You want me to cut a bitch to prove to you how much I love you? I will, Bae! You know I would do anything for you. I’m your Ride or Die...”

And being his Ride or Die meant that she needed to keep better tabs on him if she was going to protect him from someone crazier than her, God forbid. She was only able to do so much on this prepaid phone, and going to the library to get online was becoming a pain in the ass.

She’d considered stealing a laptop or iPad from the library but was still on the fence about the idea. Of course, the alternative meant going to stupid ass libraries and threatening little kids to get off the fucking computers, and that completely sucked ass.

She always felt rushed when she logged onto her Bae’s Only Fans page from the public library. Without fail one of those little bastard kids would get the library Nazis to kick her off the computer, or bar her from the library altogether for watching porn.

Ivar’s page wasn’t porn! It was art. It was sexy. It was love...his love for her. Stupid bitches.

She had encountered far worse things than getting kicked out of the library, but some of these small towns usually only had one or two within their county limits. If she got banned, how was she supposed to check up on Ivar? In the time it took to log in until she got kicked out, she'd be lucky if she could check 2 of his accounts. What if he had some important information on another platform that she hadn’t checked yet? What was she supposed to do then?

Her relationship with Ivar was hanging in the balance, and she'd be damned if some snot-nosed kid or fucking uptight librarian would fuck that up. She needed a computer. But, on the flip side, when she finally got her man back, she wouldn't need one anymore. She could ask him directly what their plans were.

There was a lot to consider and that took time; time that she didn't have right now.

The thick layer of Nair shaving cream she had applied to her already hairless crotch, was just starting to tingle, signaling she had about 5 minutes left before the sweat-inducing, burning sensation would kick in alerting her to wash the cream off. Until then, she had time to consider an outfit for the night.

She knew Ivar well enough to know that he would want her to be sexy for him, but not so much to distract him from work. She could have gone for something slutty, like those skanky bitches he partied with. She could have gone for more demur, but then she would remind him too much of his bitch ex-wife and completely turn him off. The last thing she wanted on their first night back together was for him to be thinking about that bitch. She could have gone for a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Torren never did simple.

No, Ivar would want her to be herself. That's what he loved about her. That's what attracted him to her in the first place. She would be sexy without being skanky; she would be demure without being a prude.

Fuck! It was already 7:33 p.m. How in the hell did she miss the beginning of his Live? Now she was running late.

She was supposed to be dressed and ready by the time his Live came on that way she could be out the door as soon as he finished. If she was going to make it to be on his Only Fans live stream tonight, she needed to get to his house before he got too distracted. Now, she’d have to watch his Live, while her cooch burst into flames before she had a chance to take a shower and finish picking out her outfit.

If there was one thing Torren was, it was punctual. It was bad enough that she was about 40 minutes outside of his town, but it could take her up to 2 or more hours to find his house. She only hoped that he didn’t plan on starting any real freaky shit on his Only Fans page until around midnight, cause it looked like she wouldn’t be getting there before then, anyway.

With the smile still plastered on her face, Torren turned on the hot water for a shower, forgetting that the water didn’t get hot. She didn't mind, much, especially since the cold water gave her a break from the heat in her room.

Phone in hand, she watched him, as she planted herself on the dirty bathtub floor, cross-legged, and started to get herself ready. Starting with her toes, she shaved each one, just below the knuckle, followed by her fingers, arms, pits, and each leg, from groin to ankle, three times. When the burning from her nether regions was so intense that she couldn’t tell her tears from the shower water dripping on her face, she quickly washed off the cream.

All she could do was hope that she hadn’t broken the skin this time. The last time she had let that damn Nair stay on, just past burning, the skin broke and she bled. She was not having a bloody hoo-ha tonight.

With that taken care of, she gently used the razor to remove any other pubes closer to the inside that needed to be removed. Then shaved her backside. When she had more time, she was going to get the internal hairs bleached, but she needed to find out what Ivar preferred.

Shaving ate up so much of her time that she only had a few seconds to rub some body-wash that she had stolen from a drug store over her body and hoped it got rid of the smell of the summer heat. Her hair? Fuck it...she’d wash it another day, for now, this cold water would have to be enough. She’d spritz some perfume and hair spray in it and it would smell fine.

Torren finished her shower, and walked out of the bathroom dripping wet, only using a towel to wrap around her hair. She was glad it was so hot in her room that her hair would air-dry quickly. She finger-combed her damp tresses to complete that ‘just got out of bed, but it's styled’ appearance. She knew how much he loved when her hair looked like that. It would remind him of freshly fucked hair.

She spent extra time applying her makeup, even using an extra dark, thick application of eyeliner. She usually went for more subtle warm colors. They matched her tan skin tone better. But, tonight, she had bold, dark makeup, complete with varying shades of purple and blue eye shadows, and dark purple lipstick.

Torren was glad that she decided to match Ivar’s clothes this evening. The swim trunks and smoking jacket he wore would compliment her beautifully. She wanted everyone to know that they dressed alike, the way real couples do. If he was going for less is more, so would she.

She settled on black leather chaps that tied up on the sides, and tight blue boy shorts that left the bottom half of her ass cheeks exposed. The blue shorts brought out the blue swirls in his trunks; she knew he'd appreciate that touch. Her top was a blue bandanna that she wore as a halter with a short black leather jacket with tassels on the sleeves.

They screamed “couple” in her eyes.

Completely satisfied with how she looked, Torren locked the door to her motel room and started down the hall. She deliberately stopped by the window and peered through the partially opened blinds of the people staying next door to her. She knocked on the window to get the attention of the young couple inside. Judging from their appearance, they were too strung out to know who she was, or that it was her music that they constantly banged on the wall about. She didn’t care. She still flipped them off before making her way to the stairs.

Reaching her hand through the busted window of the blue Ford Taurus to unlock the door from the inside. Torren slid into the driver's seat and leaned over to find the two cords that she had pulled out from under the steering column when she stole the car. Flicking the cords together, she listened as the engine reluctantly turned over.

She put the car in reverse, looked in the rear-view mirror at her makeup, then pulled out of the spot. As she turned onto the road leading to the highway, she listened to the knocks, bumps, and hisses that her car made. There wasn't time to do much about it now; not when she was on her way to get her man. But, she made a mental note to do something about it later in the week. The only thing she could do was turn the music up louder to drown out the car noise.

Truthfully, she should have stolen a better car than the piece of shit Taurus that she found in the parking lot of the Quickie Mart while driving through Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were plenty of better cars there to choose from but no one would have wanted to take this one. It was so sad looking that she took pity on it. She had been doing the owner of this crap car a favor, by taking it off of their hands.

The car was truly fucked. The oil light stayed on, and it drank gas like her mother drank liquor. The car had protested every inch of the ride across the three states that she traveled through in one day. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before that piece of shit breathed its last breath.

She needed to get gas again, but fuck that car. She had already refueled four times since she stole it. Gas wasn't cheap and she wasn't putting another dime in that gas guzzler. Speaking of money, she made a mental note to steal another credit card. It would only be a matter of time before the owner of the one that was tucked snugly between her left breast and strapless bra, would eventually realize that it had been lifted from the table in the diner, and canceled.

Laptop, butt bleaching, car, credit card, and more eyeliner from Walgreen's…her To-Do list was growing. She really needed to take some time off and take care of the necessities. Not tonight, though. She had other things to do. She couldn't do anything else, right now, but get to her man. Besides, once Lothbrok was by her side, he would help her remember all the things she needed to do.

As she came off of the highway exit smoke started billowing out from the engine. It backed up through the exhaust system, and came through the vents, inside the cabin. It was ironic – the air-conditioning vents in the car didn't work, but they seemed to work well enough to clog the inside of the car up with thick white smoke. She drove a few more miles before the smoke was so thick that she could no longer see. As she pulled the car over to the graveled shoulder of the road, the car knocked and shook, before it finally cut off.

Just her fucking luck.

She reached under the dash to flick the cords against each other again, trying to force the ignition to catch again, but it wouldn't. The engine had nothing left to give her. "Fuck Murphy and fuck his fucking law," she said calmly as she pulled the hood release.

She opened the car door, taking care to place both black, platform boots on the ground before lifting her backside from the seat. Placing her sunglasses on her eyes, she walked with one foot in front of the other to the front of the Taurus and placed her hand on the hood. It was hot, but not so hot that she couldn't feel under the front of the lever.

As she lifted the heavy metal hood and placed the rod in the slot to hold it in place, Torren let the smoke from the engine engulf her. It was quite a head rush breathing in the thick engine smoke through her nose, and exhaling it from her mouth. She patiently waited for the smoke to thin out before she bent, at the waist, over the engine. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew that someone would see her looking over the engine and stop to help her.

Now, if only someone would actually come down this dark stretch of road, she could be back on her way to Ivar.

It didn't take long before a pair of headlights rounded the bend of the road, just off to her right. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she accentuated the leather, chaps against her hips, and lifted her ass higher in the air, to catch the driver's attention. She couldn't help but smirk when she heard the tires of a large vehicle turn onto the graveled pavement in front of where she broke down. She didn't turn to face the car or the driver. She didn't care who they were or what they looked like. She had an appointment to keep and this pit stop was fucking up her timetable.

"You need some help?" A deep voice asked as its owner approached her.

Torren took a moment to peer around the hood, noticing that there were no other cars around. "Broke down," she answered, continuing to bear her weight from one hip to the other. She placed her hands on the metal frame of the car, arched her back, and looked at the man over her shoulder. "You know something about cars?"

"Yeah," he replied, moving around to her side, looking at her, and not the smoky engine.

She gave him half a smile, as she noticed him notice her. "You a mechanic or something?" She asked standing up. She rubbed her hands together to remove some of the visible engine soot while considering the guy in front of her. He was about 6 feet tall with a moderate build. He was dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and Timberland boots. He didn't look like he was more than 25 years old. Judging from the way he was looking at her and from the ring on his left hand, he wasn't too worried about her car, or his wife, for that matter.

"Nah, not a mechanic, but I work on my own car... in my spare time." He smiled when she did. She was gorgeous, in that slutty kind of way. She wouldn't be dressed like that and leaning over the hood of a car if she wasn't looking to have some fun. "Lemme take a look at it."

Did he work on his car? Hopefully, that meant that his ran better than hers did.

Torren moved over to the side and let him take the position under the hood. "I'll be right back," he explained before walking over to the bed of his F150.

Grabbing a flashlight from the trunk, he took a second to admire the view of her, from behind. If he could get her car moving again, she would hopefully follow him to this cheap motel he knew that was just up the highway.

He leaned in close, taking a whiff of her hair, "You overheated…want to check the coolant level."

She had heard him say something else but she had stopped listening; she was too busy watching the street. "You want me to try to start it?" she asked, removing her sunglasses before making her way to the driver's door. She wasn't sure if he answered or not. She had no intention of driving the Taurus again, even if he could get it started. She just needed to get something out of the car.

She slid into the seat and reached down on the floor. She found the hard metal object on the floor of the passenger's side and gripped it tightly. As she walked back around to the front of the car, she heard him talking, presumably about the car, or maybe he was asking her out. Who the fuck knows? She was on a tight schedule and all of his chatting was holding her up. She stood by the side of the hood, looking at the angle he was leaning over the hood. Quickly, she lifted her arm, and with one powerful blow, she struck him in the head with the crowbar that she used to procure her now-defunct car.

Torren stood over his body, looking at him intensely. God, it felt good. The rush of knowing that one minute this dude was towering over her, and the next he was on the ground. She had dropped his ass. She was the one with the power.

"Thanks," she said, digging her hand in his pocket to retrieve his cash, credit card, and the keys to his truck. She wiped the blood on the crowbar on his shirt before walking to her new mode of transportation.

Torren sat in the truck's driver's seat and turned on the engine. She had managed to cross two things off of her To-Do list without even planning to.

Thank God the truck had air conditioning. All this heat and humidity was bound to make her hair frizzy. She cranked the AC up as high as it would go and sat still for a moment enjoying the cool air. After a minute, she adjusted the seat and tilted the rearview mirror to look at herself. She was starting to sweat and her eyeliner was starting to run just a bit at the corners of her eyes. She dabbed at the black liner to even out the lines, and then pushed the mirror back to where she could see. Giving the area another once-over, she made sure that no one else had seen her interaction with that guy on the ground, before pulling out from the gravel and onto the paved street.

"Ugh!" Torren yelled. Chester Bradley, the printed name on the credit card, had shitty taste in music. She pushed the stereo button on the steering wheel to do a scan of the radio. Anything was better than country music. Once she found some trap music on the XM radio, she turned up the volume and pulled back onto the highway.

Part iii/

Tags: @ideagarden-blog1 @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @a-mess-of-fandoms @didiintheblog @conaionaru @peachyboneless @flowers-in-your-hayr @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @revolution-starter

#OnlyFan(s)#modern ivar #shannygoat #shannyland #Date with Destiny

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everlarkficexchange · 4 years ago

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The Soul Within the Star

Written by: @nightlock-1989

Prompt 133: The victory tour is live-streamed and mandatory viewing for each district. What no one expected however, was for Snow to know Peeta was the words behind Katniss - the one he couldn’t control. When peeta starts talking about rue and thresh in D11, snow issues the command, and everyone is shocked when a bang rings out and a red spot starts rapidly spreading on Peeta’s chest. Reactions and the aftermath! [submitted by anonymous]

I wish I knew who submitted this but whoever it was, I hope you enjoy. I kept glossing over this prompt and then one day I read it again and the story came to me.

Rated T and no beta

The Soul Within the Star

“He can be dealt with,” Plutarch Heavensbee says to President Snow. “As soon as the opportunity arises, we will take it. Knowing him, I think he’ll make a mistake publicly.”

President Snow slowly smiles, twirling a perfect white rose between his fingers. “I’ll issue the order to have them armed and ready. As soon as he speaks a word out of line, he will be eliminated.”

*****

Katniss is having difficulty speaking, so Peeta begins for her. He begins talking about how Thresh showed Katniss mercy and how Rue reminded Katniss of her sister.

Katniss is invested in what he is saying before being startled by a loud bang. She’s looking around to see what the possible source is when she hears a thud next to her. Peeta is laying on the ground. A small red spot on his chest begins to rapidly spread. She is on her knees by his side in an instant, one hand applying pressure, the other caressing his cheek.

“Peeta, look at me. You’re going to be okay,” Katniss assures him, although not quite believing her own words.

“Katniss?” he gasps. One hand covers the one on his chest while the other hand, coated in blood, caresses her cheek.

“Where the hell is the medic?” their mentor yells.

Peeta’s eyes begin closing and Katniss shakes him hard. “Stay awake, Peeta.”

“I’m so tired, Katniss.”

“No, don’t even think about it. You stay with me,” she cries.

He pulls the hand that’s on his chest away and brings it to his lips.

“Always,” he whispers before he succumbs to the darkness.

“NOOOOO!” she screams while thrashing at the Peacekeepers who are pulling her away. She feels a poke in her shoulder and then darkness follows her, too.

*****

When she comes to, she is on a soft bed on the train. She looks to her right and sees Haymitch, sitting in a chair with a bottle to his lips. He senses she’s awake and moves towards the bed, sitting in the empty space.

Haymitch barely moves when he shakes his head.

“Where is he?” she whispers.

“A hovercraft took his body.”

They tell her it was a rebel who shot and killed one half of the star-crossed lovers.

*****

It does nothing to soothe the districts and when the Quarter Quell announcement is made that the tributes will be reaped among the existing pool of victors, Katniss can do nothing but burst into laughter. She has gone mental and is unpredictable since Peeta was taken from her. Hopefully, the President won’t fault her family if someone else kills her, instead of her doing it herself.

Her plan is hindered, however, when Plutarch informs her that if she doesn’t actually try, the President has ordered her mother and sister to be killed. This is entertainment to the Capital citizens after all.

*****

In the arena, Katniss is lured by a beautiful voice, Peeta’s voice, away from the other victors. She leaves them behind, seeking only what she desires most. Finnick races past her when there is a terrifying scream. Peeta’s tortured scream soon follows and the two of them are trapped for one agonizing hour.

“Who was that voice?” she asks Finnick.

Finnick, leans into her ear and whispers, “My Annie.”

While she has no fight left for herself, she is willing to fight so that he can go home and be with his beloved.

*****

She focuses on a star as she’s being lifted by the claw. Her father told her that long ago, before the Dark Days, people spoke of souls going to a place called Heaven, that was up in the sky and where you reunited with loved ones after death and that there was a soul within each star. Maybe she is looking at Peeta’s.

*****

She comes to in the hovercraft but before she can grab the empty syringe, she is poked and feels as if she is being consumed by fire. As her eyes drift shut, she smiles, eagerly welcoming death.

*****

She hears mumbled voices, something about someone needing to rest. The voice offers to stay with her. Fingertips caress her cheek, and she feels lips on the crown of her head. Katniss finally feels whole again, and the feeling is directly linked to whoever this person is. She inhales deeply before reaching for the hand on her cheek.

Katniss hears a sharp intake of breath. “Katniss,” the voice whispers.

She smiles. This is the voice she was hoping would welcome her.

“Katniss,” the voice says louder.

She opens her eyes, her grey one’s looking straight into the most hypnotic blue. Growing up, she thought Prim’s eyes were the nicest shade of blue; however, they could not hold a candle to Peeta’s.

Katniss leans her cheek in closer to his hand. He even smells like cinnamon and maybe dill? She really is finally with him. Peeta takes a moment to wipe the tears from his own eyes.

“You’re really here?” she whispers.

He nods running his hand over the top of her head, smoothing her hair.

“Yeah,” he lets out shakily.

“And we get to stay together forever now?” she asks with a smile knowing that she is finally where she is meant to be.

He leans his forehead against hers. “I will never, EVER, leave you. I promise.”

“Always?” she raises her head slightly, her nose touching his.

“Always,” he assures her.

“I’ve waited so long,” she begins.

“I know sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” Peeta’s hand cup her jaw.

“I can finally tell you,” Katniss says dreamily.

“Tell me what?” he asks, gently rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone.

“I love you, Peeta,” she proclaims, closing the short distance from her lips to his in a light kiss. She pulls back to look at him, noting nothing but adoration. He only offers seconds of respite before he leans down, claiming her mouth with his. Katniss gives in, elated to finally be with her boy with the bread once more.

The kiss turns frantic, each exhibiting possessiveness that can only be quenched by the other. Katniss raises her hand to curl her fingers into his hair while Peeta cradles her jaw. At a slight tug of his hair, Peeta lets out a moan before using his tongue to beg for entrance. Katniss grants entry, their tongues now engaged in a sensual dance.

There’s a beeping in the background that causes Peeta to pull away. He moves to stand but Katniss grips the front of his…jumpsuit?

“No,” she says, terror in her voice. “I’m not letting you leave me.”

“I just have to- “

“No, I love you….so much, Peeta.” The beeping is getting faster. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t say it when you were alive.”

“Alive?” A dawning of realization crosses Peeta’s face but before he can assure her, a team of medical staff rush in barking out orders and pushing Peeta back.

Katniss screams and resists every effort before she is restrained, her heart rate climbing to 180 beats per minute. Peeta is forcibly removed, fighting with everything he has to get back to the woman he loves…. who has finally told him that she feels the same way.

Outside, Peeta collapses to the ground and begins to sob while the brief light in Katniss’s heart goes out.

*****

Eventually Katniss awakes, and there to greet her is someone Katniss is assuming is a doctor.

“How are you feeling, Katniss?”

“Please kill me,” she begs.

“Katniss, I assure you, it is better to be alive.”

She shakes her head, “No…. Peeta is not here.”

“Peeta IS here, Katniss. He’s been here—”

“NO, HE IS NOT. HE BLED TO DEATH IN FRONT OF ME.”

The doctor injects something in her IV. Katniss is sure sleep will come…. but this time it doesn’t. She is just calmer.

“Peeta is alive Katniss. We’re in District 13.”

Katniss opens her mouth to argue, when her sister walks in, smothering her in a hug.

“Prim,” she gasps. Her mother walks in soon after followed by her mentor.

“But I died in the Games,” Katniss says.

“You blew out the forcefield,” Haymitch explains.

“It was all a part of the plan to get the victors out,” Plutarch explains as he casually strolls in.

“I’m alive?” Katniss asks.

Haymitch pinches her hard causing her to yelp and Prim to kick him in the shin.

Katniss breaks down in tears, realizing that while she is indeed alive and safe with her family, the exchange with Peeta had to have been some kind of dream.

“He really is gone,” she gasps.

“Katniss, the boy’s alive,” her mentor says.

She begins shaking her head when someone comes running into the room. She looks up and there is Peeta who crosses the room with purpose before cupping her jaw, a little roughly, and smashes his lips to hers. Katniss grips his wrists tightly, willing him to hold her there forever. The kiss is so intense and full of love and passion that Katniss doesn’t register any of their surroundings. When they pull apart, Peeta once again has tears in his eyes. Some have fallen from his face to mix with Katniss’s own. The only people remaining in the room with them are Plutarch, Haymitch, and the doctor.

“None of this was real?” she questions.

“Peeta getting shot in the chest was real,” Plutarch confirms.

“I can attest to that with how bad it hurt,” Peeta says, unzipping his jumpsuit and pulling up his undershirt. Katniss can see where he was shot, touching the raised and discolored skin with a whisper of her fingertips. Peeta pulls her hand away allowing his shirt to drop before he kisses her fingertips.

“We made sure when we shot him to just miss his heart,” Plutarch adds.

Katniss reels back and is scrambling to attack Plutarch while Peeta holds her firmly back.

“We had the hovercraft standing by to treat him. Snow was going to do something one way or the other and it was better to get him out when we did. He knew that Peeta was a more dangerous threat with his words than you could ever be.”

Katniss relaxes and breathes in Peeta’s scent to calm down. The calmness only lasts briefly before she turns to Haymitch. “Did you know?”

“Sweetheart—”

“DID YOU KNOW?”

Haymitch hangs his head in shame before nodding slightly. Katniss possesses a strength no one knew possible and breaks free from Peeta’s grasp, raking her fingers along Haymitch’s cheek, blood coating her fingertips.

A medical team swarms in but Peeta shields her.

“NO. No drugs. Everyone out.” The room gapes at him. “I SAID OUT, DAMN IT!”

Katniss sobs in Peeta’s arms, collapsing to the floor and dragging Peeta down with her. He lets her cry into his chest while he cradles her body and rocks her back and forth all while keeping an eye on the monitor which is measuring her heartbeat.

Katniss falls asleep, the rocking motion soothing her. Peeta places her back in bed where she sleeps for hours.

When she comes to again, her face is buried in Peeta’s neck, his arm draped across her stomach. She grazes his jaw with her fingers causing him to stir awake.

“You’re alive and here with me. Real or not real?”

“Real,” Peeta says with a kiss to her forehead. “You love me. Real or not real?”

“Real,” she answers before her lips touch his again.

#nightlock-1989 #prompt 133 #springtime edition 2021 #submission

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5-jorjas-in-the-fence · 4 years ago

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Fearless (Taylor’s Version) as Newsies

Fearless: Romeo. Yes I know you think he’d be love story but he’s such a hopeless romantic I can guarantee he lives for the whole ‘take my hand and drag me head first fearless’. Plus he’s a pretty timid guy, so him being fearless is just *chefs kiss*

Fifteen: Davey. I feel like he’s made some bad choices which is why he’s so careful. He definitely lives by ‘I found time can heal most anything’

Love Story: Race, the dramatic little f*cker, lives for Love Story. Don’t act like he won’t speed down a freeway screaming at the top of his lungs while whoever is in the passenger seat (usually Albert) looks at him with great concern.

Hey Stephen: Les. He probably has written poetry for some girl in his class. Plus it’s such a wholesome song, I’m just imagining his little voice in the back seat of the car singing ‘I CANT HELP IT IF YA LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL, CANT HELP IT IF I WANNA KISS YA IN THE RAIN SO COME FEEL THIS MAGIC IVE BEEN FEELING SINCE I MET YOU’ and then Davey (who’s driving, he doesn’t trust anyone else to give Les lifts unless it’s Jack or Sarah) Just turns it up so he doesn’t have to hear Les’s screeching

White Horse: oh boy time to ✨cry✨ and you know who relates to this song? Albert. Not sure why, he has a lot of feelings so for him a song about pure hurt is up his ally. He loves all the lyrics and ‘I’m gonna find someone some day who might ACTUALLY TREAT ME WELL’ he screams a little too passionately and then race is there like ‘am I a joke to you 👁👄👁’

You Belong With Me: Crutchie lives for this song. It’s so fun and he loves humming it and he just- he loves a good classic. He definitely has a Junior Jewels shirt that he got all the newsies to sign. It’s his favourite pyjama shirt.

Breathe: Elmer. Probably cause he has nine siblings and he had to leave them, he was hella close to them so now he’s alone... I’m fine

Tell Me Why: Henry. ‘CAUSE YOURE THE ONLY THING ON MYYYYY MIND’ he does that and points his finger dramatically. I have this weird head canon that he takes SO LONG in the bathroom so he sings into his shampoo bottle and looks in the mirror... yeah it’s a lot.

You’re Not Sorry: Specs. It slaps. So does Specs. In conclusion: yes.

The Way I Loved You: Jack. Now The Way I Loved You is about two people. The one they’re currently with, and the ex. So for him I feel like he’s not really sure what his feelings are doing, so he misses his ex while he’s with his current partner... yikes. Someone get the boy some therapy he needs it.

Forever and Always: Spot. He’s angry. He’s going feral. ‘OhhhHHHHH AND IT RAINS IN YOUR BEDROOM EVERYTHING IS WRONG, IT RAINS WHEN YOURE HERE AND IT RAINS WHEN YOURE GONE’ yeah he’s really into it... like he’s popping off. Specifically that part where Taylor is full on P I S S E D and that high note comes up.

The Best Day: *don’t touch me I’m crying* Katherine (pt 1, yeah she has two songs stfu like you didn’t see that coming) k so she loves the best day cause she ✨lost her mother✨ when she was 14 so uhhh, she just likes it cause it reminds her of her... which is sad... oh fearless OG came out when her mum was around as well, so when she lost her she probably played The Best Day to cope.

Change: oh all of them I mean have you HEARD it??? ‘It was the night things changed, I can feel it now, all the walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down itS A REVOLUTIONNNNNNNN SO THROW YOUR HANDS UP CAUSE WE NEVER GAVEEEEE INNNNNNNnnnNn *inhales* AND WELL SING HALLELU-‘ yeah it slaps.

Jump Then Fall: SARAH JACOBS!!! It’s so soft and I can BET she kinda sits there quietly watching her SO and then is like ‘holy shit- fuck their laugh- oh my god’ and has moments where she’s like ‘my gosh I love them’ and she’s so comforting and warm. So the whole line ‘I’ll hold you through the night until you smile...’ cause she knows that she wants to fall in love so bad but she’s also like ‘please don’t be afraid to fall please just love me holy shit I love you’

Come In With The Rain: gosh idk they all scream the chorus at the top of their lungs (there are so many tracks on this album I’m just going to have to skip songs where I can’t think of anyone 🧍‍♀️

There’s also probably gonna be a few repeats

Superstar: Pulitzer thinking about Teddy Roosevelt 😏

Today Was A Fairytale: Albert, he deserves a happy song. After a happy date he dances around the room singing it, until someone knocks on the door and he’s like ‘shit they heard me’

Mr Perfectly Fine: ohhhhhhhHHHH KATHERINE MY QUEEN. She’s p i s s e d. She’s m a d. She’s p a s s i o n a t e. She’s also still with Jack at the time so he’s like ‘wtf’ scared for his life- then he uhhhh breaks up with her... cause of valid reasons and is ok but still broken and that takes her love for the song to a whole new level cause she always got it but never got it. Not she’s on the verge of smashing a vase as she screams it.

We Were Happy: ✨newsbians✨ just for the line ‘talking bout your daddys farm we were gonna buy some day’. Idk if I ever like- posted about it but Chandler @tarantulas4davey and I had a wholeeee thing for cottage core Kath and Sarah so yk

Don’t You: Jack. He’s a mess. Wbk.

Bye Bye Baby: Race. he just wants to live that main character life cause he’s dramatic so... ‘it wasn’t just like a movie, the rain didn’t soak through my clothes, down to my skin’ honestly same. What a mood.

Love story Remix: THEYRE ALL VIBING

Anyway, in conclusion: yeehaw.

Stream Fearless Taylors Version. Please send in asks asking to elaboration or something if you want to :)

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the-galaxy-collector · 4 years ago

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heart/beats

Pairing: Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski

Word Count: 2.1K

Warning(s): fluff, sick stiles, derek hale is bad at feelings

Summary: Stiles gets sick while the gang is away. Derek comes back to check on him.

A/N: I think as is becoming common for me in the Teen Wolf fandom, this just poured out of me with no prior warning and I regret nothing.

Stiles stood up, or he tried, before his body forced him to sit back down on the edge of his bed. He’d been trying to work up both the strength and the courage to take a shower for the past thirty minutes, but he was still here. In the exact same position. Trying not to puke all over his pajamas.

A very attractive look, if he did say so himself.

He closed his eyes and willed the room to stop spinning, but he knew it was pointless. He’d been sick for the last two days and whatever the hell this shit was, it didn't seem to be going anywhere.

Everyone was gone too, which made it worse. They were off saving the world from… something. He couldn’t remember now. Something way more important than Stiles, though. And he wasn’t bitter about it. He knew what they were doing was a big deal. It was just that right now he wanted chicken soup like his mom used to make and someone to tuck him back into bed.

After a shower, he reminded himself. The shower was still a must.

Stiles took a deep, steadying breath and forced himself up with shaky limbs. He held out his arms, forcing himself to remain balanced and upright, as he started to walk forward gingerly.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He yelped as his eyes popped back open at the noise. He didn’t know he wasn’t alone, and his heart was racing uncomfortably as he clutched his chest now over it.

“What the fuck am I doing?” He gulped. “What the fuck are you doing? Why are you here?”

“You’re sick,” Derek explained bluntly.

“Yes, I am aware of that,” Stiles bit back. “Go. I’m fine.”

“You definitely are not. We need to go to the hospital, Stiles.”

“We need to go to the hospital, Stiles,” he mocked in a high-pitched voice. “You sound like that, you know.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Derek. You guys are off, ya know, saving the world or whatever. And I’ll be fine. Just go help them.”

“They don’t need my help.”

“And neither do I,” Stiles insisted.

“Why are you like this?” he said, a smile in his voice. “You make me crazy. You know that, right?”

“No,” he replied sarcastically. “Really?”

When he went to roll his eyes at Derek’s stubborn nature, like he’d done a million and a half times, his head pulsed suddenly with a headache so severe it caused him to fall to his knees. Derek was by his side within seconds, his hands on either side of his face as he forced Stiles to look at him.

He pulled back his eyelids one at a time, and whatever he saw there made him hoist Stiles off the floor without a word, and carry him from the room. Stiles wanted to put up a fight, tell Derek to put him down, that he was going to be fine. It was just the flu or something non-lethal to teenagers, but pressed up against Derek’s chest like this was warm and comfortable and he found it very difficult to hold other thoughts in his brain right now.

Derek took him straight outside and propped him up in the front seat of his own car before buckling him in and rushing around to the driver’s side. He knew how much Derek hated the Jeep, which meant that he either was doing it for Stiles’ sake or because he had run all the way here without his own car because it wasn’t fast enough. Stiles wasn’t sure which one was sweeter.

“Stiles, I swear to God,” Derek growled, “if you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

Stiles snorted his laughter despite the pounding in his head, currently radiating out from behind his left eye.

“When’s the last time you ate?” Derek asked softly.

Too softly. Like he was actually worried. Which stressed out Stiles more than he thought it would. Or should.

Stiles shrugged his answer, and even that tiny movement sent a jolt of pain down his spine. But he wasn’t lying. He honestly couldn’t remember when he had put food in his mouth last, which was probably not great.

Derek growled again, and while it was affecting Stiles like it always did, the dull ache covering his entire body pushed any stupid, horny thoughts out of his brain.

At least for now.

He knew they’d be back, especially if Derek was going to stick around. Stiles sort of hated that. Especially since Derek could tell. Hiding things from werewolves, as he’d learned, was not possible. It wasn’t awkward at all.

Yep, he definitely hated that.

Derek continued to slam his foot and the gas pedal all the way to the floorboard as he drove, but it didn’t do any good. It never did. The Jeep was ancient, one of the things Stiles loved about it, and it wasn’t ever going to go faster than this. But Derek was wonderfully impatient, often with Stiles, or things that involved Stiles.

Another endearing quality that would normally make his heart all aflutter. But right now, he was in too much pain.

The sunlight streaming in was making his head hurt worse, though, so he laid it down on the console in between him and Derek and tried not to focus on the fact that the traditionally very grumpy man was rubbing Stiles’ leg absentmindedly as he made his way through the streets of Beacon Hills.

Derek had never been one to touch anyone for any reason, so clearly Stiles was dying. Or Derek thought he was. He couldn’t think of any other reason why he might be doing that, but again, he had no strength left to even ask.

Stiles didn’t think he was ready for the answer. Or, more appropriately, he knew he wasn’t ready for the brush off.

Stiles half expected Derek to pull straight into the emergency room bay where only the ambulances are supposed to go with the way he was acting, but he found a normal spot. And just like when they got into the car, he rushed around and helped Stiles out. Like being away from Stiles for even the shortest amount of time was too much for Derek to handle. Yeah, Stiles was dying and Derek felt bad for him. There were no other explanations.

He even tried to carry him bridal style again, but Stiles managed to put his foot down.

Well, not literally. But he made it clear that wasn’t happening in front of all these people.

He had some dignity left.

The harsh fluorescents assaulted his eyes worse than the sunlight, and he found, once again, that he needed to slam his eyes shut to keep from hurling all over himself. And Derek.

“Oh my God,” Melissa asked from somewhere nearby. “What happened?”

“Well, my idiot has been sick for the last two days and he didn’t call anyone and now I’m afraid he’s dehydrated and about to pass out.”

Melissa giggled at Derek’s assessment as she ushered them back to what Stiles was sure was a room, but all he could concentrate on was the fact that Derek had said my idiot. My idiot. Like Stiles belonged to him.

Not that Stiles would complain if that were true.

Derek put him down on the bed as soon as the door shut behind them and dimmed the lights, allowing Stiles to open his eyes again. Melissa was already rushing around getting things set up as Derek forced him to lay down. He hadn’t even stopped to put shoes on, so when he pulled the covers up to Stiles’ chin, he couldn’t really protest.

Too much anyway.

“Derek, stop,” he said, pushing his hands away. “I’m not an invalid.”

Derek rolled his eyes and sat down in a chair, pulling it up as close to the side of Stiles’ bed as he could get without actually being in the bed.

“All right, Stiles. You ready?”

He nodded as he felt the coolness from an alcohol prep pad next and then hissed loudly as the IV slid into his arm. No matter how many times he’d been forced to do this, it didn’t get easier. And it should be by now, he reasoned, since hanging out with werewolves had some disadvantages. Not many, but some. If you were unlucky enough to be the only human anyway.

Stiles didn’t miss the way that Derek flinched a little at his pain, though, causing his eyebrows to pull in the middle. He was getting more confused, and more concerned, by the second.

Something was definitely going on.

“Honey, I’m gonna take some blood, give you some fluids, and bring some food. Do you think you can eat?”

Stiles shrugged again, swallowing hard as his mouth filled with saliva. The thought of eating anything made his stomach do a flip, which probably wasn’t a good sign, but he could try. He certainly knew he should try.

“I can give you something to help you sleep, if you wanna do that instead, but we’re gonna have to wake you up in, like, an hour to try to get something in your stomach. Or I’m gonna have to feed you some Ensure.”

Stiles wrinkled his nose. “Like they give old people?”

Melissa nodded. “No. Just knock me out and then wake me up later. I promise I’ll try. But do not give me that shi… stuff.”

It didn’t matter how old he got, cussing in front of Melissa always felt wrong somehow. She just laughed quietly, though, and shook her head as she finished hooking him up to everything, forcing Derek to move only when it was absolutely necessary.

A couple minutes after she pushed something directly into his line, he started to feel sleepy. Like actually sleepy. Not this fitful mess he’d been enjoying for over 48 hours.

And he let his eyes close without a word.

He couldn’t be sure if it had been a few minutes or hours, but when he started to wake back up, he heard Derek’s soft voice beside him. He sounded like he might be talking to someone, but since Stiles’ eyelids were still way too heavy to open, he just listened.

As the grogginess slowly lifted, he noticed Derek was holding his hand. Actually holding his hand. In both of his. His head and, more importantly, his lips were resting next to Stiles’ skin. He could feel Derek’s breath.

Wait, am I dead?

“Does he know yet?” Melissa whispered.

“No,” Derek said, just as quiet.

“When are you gonna tell him?”

“Well, I came back to do that and he was about to pass out. I got distracted,” he explained, exasperation taking over momentarily. “But I guess I knew something was wrong.”

“Of course you did,” Melissa insisted. “He’s your mate.”

Mate?!

Okay, Stiles was definitely dead. Or dreaming. Hopefully dreaming. At least that way he could still wake up.

Melissa didn’t wait for Derek to respond before she asked another question. “Talk to Noah yet?”

“Yeah.”

Once again, Derek lapsed into silence. But it wasn’t long before Melissa got irritated with his lack of information on the topic.

“And?” she huffed.

“He told me he’d kill me if I hurt him.”

She laughed again, still as softly as before. Stiles could hear her walk back to the door, enjoying her little private joke.

“Well, you’re safe,” she said, pausing at the threshold. “We both know you’re not capable of that.”

“Mhmm,” he answered.

“Derek?”

“Yeah?” he asked, moving his head to the side.

And suddenly Stiles had a new thing he hated now. The way Derek sounded asking that one question. It was vulnerable, like Derek’s entire nervous system was on the outside. All exposed and raw. He wanted very much to get out of this bed and protect him, but that didn’t make any sense. Derek didn’t need to be protected. It was Derek.

“You’re gonna be great,” Melissa declared.

And then she left him with that, allowing the door to close behind her without waiting for him to argue.

After a few seconds, Derek cleared his throat. “How, uh, much of that did you hear?”

Stiles forced himself to remain as still and quiet as possible, not even allowing his breathing to pick up. He would give Derek an out.

“I can hear your heartbeat, Stiles,” Derek explained. “I know you’re awake.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smirk. It was his go-to response, sure, but it also seemed to fit the occasion.

“Mate, huh?”

Derek groaned loudly and Stiles opened his eyes slowly. “When did you plan on telling me, Sourwolf?”

[come join all the Teen Wolf fandom shenanigans over at the Beacon Hills Preserve Discord Server]

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heyyy-hey-babyyy · 4 years ago

Text

When We Were Young (part VIII)

Dean x Fem!Reader; Sam x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Read part I here ; Read part II here ; Read part III here ;

Read part IV here ; Read part V here ; Read part VI here

Read part VII here

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of trauma/abuse, brief moments of self-harm, mentions of anxiety attack, *moments of assault*

**This chapter contains images of assault. Please be aware if this is trigging for you!

B/N: I’m getting a little lost in my own timeline, so apologies for any inaccuracies... All mistakes I claim as my own.

Summary: Dean, Sam, and Y/N grew up together, but when she’s taken away for over 10 years, the boys have no idea what she’s been through. Will asking her to move into the bunker with them reveal more than she’s ready for?

1773 words

All you could hear was the constant dripping of the pipes above you, one splashing cold water on the back of your neck. Greg hadn’t left you alone after unbuttoning Dean’s flannel, and rather decided to strip you down and shackle your hands above your head again after. Then he walked out of the room, leaving you shivering, still leaning on your naked and bruised knees, arms growing numb above you.

You had to have been in the same position for over eight hours or so after you factored in how long you might have been passed out, and your body felt like it was ready to snap in half. You couldn’t lift your head anymore, though you wanted to move out of the dripping water, which felt like standing under a cold shower. But you couldn’t be too worried about it, because suddenly you felt an arm snake around your waist and lift you to your feet. You felt yourself fall into a slight feeling of hope, thinking that perhaps Dean had finally come for you. But your hopes were dashed when Greg whispered in your ear.

“Okay, hunny-bear, time to make it up to me.” You whimpered slightly in response, and you felt Greg release his hold on your waist, your body crashing roughly to the floor, chains yanking your arms above your head again almost ripping your limbs from their sockets. You cried out with what energy you had left, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“Oh dear. I’m sorry hunny, I didn’t realize you were this weak already...” He trailed off, pulling you to a standing position again. He spoke like he cared about you, but you heard the smile behind his voice, relishing in the fact that you couldn’t fight back right now. “I’ll make sure to be gentle,” he whispered in your ear again, making you shudder, tears continuing to fall down your face.

Greg grabbed the back of your neck, bending you at the waist and holding you up on your own legs, rendering you completely powerless, afraid he would snap your neck if he felt like it. You felt fear course through your body as her rubbed his other hand slowly down your exposed back tracing a long scar down your side that you got from a vampire hunt, ending at your hip bone. You hated the way he seemed to be caring for you, his movements slow and careful, and your mind quickly drifted to Dean. Shaking your head, you dislodged the hunter’s green eyes from your mind, knowing you would need to repress this memory later on and it would be impossible if Dean was anywhere near it. Greg felt you shaking your head, and he stilled his movements, turning to stand in front of you instead, hand still at your neck.

“What’s wrong, hunny?” He lifted your head so that you were forced to look into his eyes, and he smiled knowingly. “Oh, I get it. You’ve moved on.” He gave you a small pout and you avoided his gaze. “It’s okay, I want this to be good for you. And honestly, it doesn’t matter what body I’m in anyway. It feels amazing either way.” You whipped your head around, suddenly staring into bright green eyes. Gasping loudly, you were suddenly pulled forward toward the lips of Dean Winchester. You froze, but felt yourself kissing him back slightly, your brain playing tricks on you. Dean pulled away and smiled at you widely, and you smiled back until he opened his mouth.

“That’s right, hunny-bear. Now we can both be comfortable.” ‘Dean’ disappeared from your view and you felt a small bout of strength, your body fighting against the chains holding you in place, trying to escape from the nightmare your brain couldn’t even imagine up. But Greg’s hands held you tight to him, and you felt his hips move against you. You were prepared to accept this happening to you at the hands of Greg, but you couldn’t get the image of Dean standing before you in the damp room out of your head. And though you kept repeating to yourself that it wasn’t Dean, it was becoming impossible as Greg continued to speak, Dean’s gruff voice floating up to you.

“Alright hunny,” he cooed, stroking up and down your back as you heard the zipper of his jeans. “Are you ready for me?”

You didn’t respond, your mind shutting down like it had so many times before to help you survive this moment. You felt some pressure to your core, and then your body was moving back and forth, but you felt numb, and didn’t say a word. You weren’t sure how long Greg used you, but when he was done, he pulled out, zipped back up, and came to stand in front of you. Dean’s body came into view, and he looked concerned, as he swiped at the tears you didn’t realize were streaming down your face, cupping your cheek. You involuntarily leaned into it, and when you looked up again, Greg was staring into your eyes. You leaned out of his grasp, and he sighed, pulling you forward to kiss you on the top of the head.

“I have something I have to do hunny-bear. I’ll be back soon.” And just like that he was gone, leaving you hanging from the chains, bent at the waist.

You started to sob silently, knowing that Greg didn’t destroy you 13 years ago. He destroyed you now, using the only man you felt comfortable with against you. Being a hunter you didn’t believe in anything you couldn’t see, so you often refused to believe in God, but in that moment you felt yourself praying, reaching out to anything or anyone to help you.

You suddenly heard the rush of wind and the flutter of wings, as a figure appeared in front of you. Too tired to react you attempted to move away from whoever had appeared in the room, when you felt a soft hand on your cheek, causing a warmth to spread throughout your body.

“Hello, Y/N.” The figure began and you looked up into bright blue eyes. “I heard your prayer. My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord.” You stared up at the man in disbelief before your world went black.

-----------

Cas disappeared as quickly as he appeared and Dean spun around looking for him in the small room.

“Cas!” He yelled into the emptiness, but the angel didn’t reappear. Dean scoffed, returning to find Sam and Bobby in the living room. Sam rose to his feet when Dean entered, looking questioningly behind him, anticipating Cas following Dean. Dean shook his head, throwing his hands up the air, when he heard the flutter of wings behind him again. The look on Sam’s face made Dean whip around nervously afraid of what he might find behind him.

Cas was standing in the doorway to the office holding Y/N tightly in his arms. He had shed his trench coat and it was wrapped around an unmistakingly naked Y/N like a towel.

“Hello Dean,” Cas repeated for the second time in 20 minutes, and Dean rushed forward taking Y/N out of Cas’ arms and cradling you tightly to his chest. You looked as if you were sleeping, but your face looked like you were in pain, stuck in whatever nightmare you were being forced into. Bobby and Sam rushed over to where Dean stood holding you, both men looking murderous.

“Cas, what happened?!” Sam was yelling, unable to control his emotions, and Castiel stood awkwardly, not having the people skills to deal with human emotions this complex. He took a beat or two to answer, but Dean cut him off, not ready to hear the story while you were still in the room.

Dean shifted you slightly in his arms and your face relaxed as he hiked you up, your head resting in the crook of his neck. He didn’t want to leave you alone right now, but he wanted you to be more comfortable as you slept, and didn’t want you to be naked anymore. He motioned with his head for his brother to follow him upstairs. Sam followed, and as they reached the stairs Dean spoke over his shoulder.

“Cas, stick around.” Cas nodded once, and Bobby motioned for him to sit on the couch him and Sam had just vacated. Cas sat awkwardly fixing his stare on the wall ahead of him, as Bobby left the room.

Dean walked toward Bobby’s room upstairs knowing you would feel most comfortable there if you woke up while they were downstairs talking to Cas. Sam opened the door for him, and stood in the doorway as you placed Y/N down on the soft blankets.

“Sam,” Dean spoke up, making sure you were fully covered with Cas’ trench coat for the moment after you were jostled about a bit. “Can you find Y/N’s bag and get maybe some sleep shorts, or something we can get on her easily?” Sam nodded, disappearing from the room. You took a second to take in Y/N’s appearance, not seeing any signs that you had been hurt, but you figured you’d learn the extent of the injuries from Cas, as Dean was sure he healed you before bringing you here. He knew Cas wouldn’t without permission, but he also secretly hoped that Cas had scrubbed your memories of whatever had happened in the hours that you were missing.

Sam returned while he was lost in his thoughts, clearing his throat simply. Dean turned around and Sam handed him a pair of Y/N’s loose shorts and one of Sam’s flannels, figuring it would work best to cover her.

“Can you help me?” Dean asked his brother awkwardly, not wanting to betray Y/N’s trust, especially not when you were sleeping. Sam nodded coming forward while Dean placed each of your feet carefully in the leg holds of the shorts. You were still in a deep sleep, your chest rising and falling slowly, so Dean pulled the shorts up your legs, careful to not touch you, and both brothers looked away while Dean slid your shorts up over your hips and Sam moved the bottom of the trench coat out of the way. They repeated the same process to move Sam’s flannel over your head and slip your hands into the sleeves. Sam grabbed Cas’ trench coat off the bed and left the room, nodding once at Dean with pain in his eyes.

Dean couldn’t stop looking at you, relishing in how peaceful you looked now that you were curled up in the blankets with familiar smells all around. He felt a tear slip down over his cheeks, and he swiped at it angrily, muttering to himself that he didn’t deserve to cry right now. Leaning forward he pressed his lips softly to your head and you stirred lightly, letting out a dreamy sigh, and Dean stood intent on killing the monster that hurt you before you even woke up and bringing his head to you as a trophy.

Read part IX here

When We Were Young Tag List: @vicmc624 @woundedxsmile @akshi8278

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notyetneedcoffee · 5 years ago

Text

No Secrets, Part 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (???)

Warnings: None in this section

“West quadrant all clear,” Natasha’s voice came across the coms.

“There’s still a few runners on the loose out here.” Stark reported. “Wilson, there’s a pair headed your way.”

“On it.”

“Y/N, Report.” Cap swept the east side of the warehouse. “I’ve got nothing else here.”

“Standby.” You whispered. A technician and an armed soldier were loading equipment into crates. “Two hostiles on the load dock over here.”

“I’ll be there in twenty seconds.” Bucky’s voice chimed in.

You mentally rolled your eyes. Why did he always have to rush in an take over whenever you had a situation? Sliding around pallets of equipment cases, you managed to get almost behind the two. Shooting the equipment could be bad, considering this was an experimental research and testing facility. None of you knew what this stuff actually did yet.

The armed soldier turned toward the technician. You took the opportunity, shooting him down. The technician drew a strange looking weapon, firing with unexpected speed. A piece of equipment behind you blew apart. You landed on your side shooting back, dropping the tech.

Just as Bucky turned the corner, the broken device behind you exploded. He watched you collapse and rushed to your side. “Y/N is down!”

“What!” Steve responded at the same time Stark barked “Report!”

“An explosion” He knelt beside you looking for damage but didn’t see anything. You began to stir. “No obvious wounds. She’s coming around.”

“It’s a good thing she’s got a hard head.” Tony’s voice came through the com.

You were on the ground, Bucky suddenly above you looking worried. As soon as you focused on him, the blue eyes went cold, pissed. “What the hell were you thinking? I told you I was coming?”

“I’m fine.” You argued sitting up, though wondering if you’d just passed out. “I got both of them.”

‘Fine my ass. You went down like a bag of rocks. Scared the shit out of me.’

“Didn’t know you cared, Barnes.” You scoffed, getting to your feet.

“What?” He grabbed your arm, glaring at you. ‘Damn it. Why do you have to be so difficult? I just want to pack you up and get you out of here. Somewhere safe.’

“I’m not trying to, okay? What is wrong with you?” You glared back.

“Trying to what?” Bucky faced you full on, eyes hard, hand tightening on your arm.

“Not trying to be difficult. Why are...”

Bucky ripped the com unit out of his ear and reached up to take the one out of yours despite your protest. “Y/N, Look at me.” You pushed every bit of annoyance you had into your stare. ‘I think that device did something to you.’

Just before you began to argue the realization that Bucky’s lips had not moved sunk in. “What the hell?”

“That thing. Whatever it gave off.” Bucky’s eye went wide. “You can hear what I’m thinking.”

“Oh, shit.”

‘Yeah, oh shit.’ You distinctly heard his voice in your head. ‘I’m so fucked.’

“Why?’ Your eyebrow quirked up as Bucky handed you back you com.

He replaced his own in his ear. “Banner. We have a situation. I’m bringing Y/N back to the jet.”

“What’s going on?” Steve’s voice cut in before Bruce could respond.

“The device that blew did, I don’t know, something to her mind.”

“I’m right here.” You barked. “Stop talking around me.”

“What’s wrong? She sounds like her normal charming self.” Stark chimed in.

“She, ah,” Bucky looked sideways at you. “She’s hearing my thoughts.”

There was a long moment of silence on the coms. Then everyone spoke at once.

“Get her to the jet!”

“What!”

“How the hell?”

“Are you serious?”

“Children!” Tony shouted. “Barnes, get her to the jet. Banner, it might not be a bad idea to sedate her until we can run a full battery of tests at the lab. I’m heading in to get a look at that device.”

“Come on, Doll.” Bucky grabbed you by the arm and practically dragged you through the facility. ‘Let’s knock you out before you hear something you shouldn’t.’

“Really?”

Bucky gave you a pleading look and you found yourself relenting. Fine. When you reached the jet, Bruce had earbuds in, listening to opera. He led you to one of the recycling seats and performed a quick perfunctory exam and then set up an IV. “I’m going to give you a sedative. We’ll wake you up in the lab. Okay?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Whatever.”

‘Sorry.’ Bucky looked at you with mournful eyes.

“I hate this.” You grumbled, already feeling the effects.

“You know that Nat and Tony, hell any of us, are not comfortable with the idea of someone without control reading our minds.” Bucky actually took your hand in his. ‘It’ll be okay. I’ll stay right here.’

The noise woke you before the light. They were familiar voices. Steve, Bucky, Bruce, and Tony were arguing. Some loud, some not. It was strange. You fought to open your eyes. They felt heavy, sticky. The drugs. That’s right.

“Hey.” You croaked, swallowed, and tried again. “Hey, guys. Take it outside.”

“Y/N.” Steve leaned over you. “How you feeling?”

“Fuzzy.”

‘No shit, they’ve kept you under for six days.’ Bucky was taking your other hand, a scowl on his face. You gave him a look, but he shook his head slightly.

“What’s going on?” You asked.

“It appears you were hit with a massive surge from the whatever that device was. It flooded you with an energy with a signature similar to what we saw from the Mind Stone. We can’t really test anything beyond computer simulations because the explosion completely burned out the device.” Bruce explained. “What we can say, is the abnormal readings in your brain have been steadily decreasing by 1.7% a day.”

“A day.” You repeated. “What day is it, exactly?"

‘Damn. Damn. Damn.’ Bruce looked at you, head tipped low. “The fifteenth.”

‘Should’ve kept her under.’ Tony looked on nervously. ‘Fuck. Did she hear that? Shit. What now? She looks pissed.’

‘So sorry. Never should have let it go so long.’ Steve watched your face, holding your hand.

‘I’ll beat the hell out of them for this. Not right keeping you under when there’s nothing wrong with you.’ Bucky squeezed your other hand.

“So, I’m what? A security risk. You don’t want me picking up on stray thoughts that I shouldn’t.”

‘Oh, thank fucking god!’ Tony gave you a sad smile that was completely contradictory to celebratory tune in his mind. “Something like that.”

“We figure since you were only picking up on Barnes while you were at the warehouse, and the nearest person was about two hundred meters away, we could just...” Bruce began explaining.

“Sequester me by myself somewhere until this wears off.” You pulled your hands away from the boys, crossing your arms. “For what? Two, three months? Alone. Great.”

‘Over my dead body, you don’t get to lock her up ‘cause your uncomfortable, asshole.’ Bucky’s stray thought nearly made you smile.

“I’ve got an amazing place all lined up. Just twenty minutes from the compound and it’s been all tricked out with the best stuff.” Tony spoke a million words a minute. “Movies, streaming, video conferencing, gaming, a full library. Amazing kitchen. AI. The scenery is cool. Stuff can be delivery. Shop all you want, I got you covered. Just consider it a paid vacation.”

‘It’s too long.’ Steve was staring out the window. ‘Don’t want you gone that long.’

“I’ll come weekly and run a check.” Bruce added. ‘This sucks.’

“So, ah, here’s all the info.” Stark handed you a tablet. “Pack up and stay in touch. Um, sorry kid.” He left with Bruce on his heels.

“Great.” You swung your feet out of bed. “Well, you boys going to run away too?”

‘Don’t wanna, Doll.’ Bucky stepped up, rubbing your shoulder. “I don’t care what these assholes think. We’ll figure something out. I’m going to go fuel up your car, okay?”

You nodded and he left. Bucky had always been a friend, but what he didn’t say made you adore him even more. Ever since joining the team, he and Steve were your first and closest friends. A gentle chant of ‘in and out’ made you realize Steve was working very hard to keep his mind blank by focusing on his breathing.

“Steve.” You got up, a bit wobbly.

‘Damn it.’ His arm came around your side to support you immediately. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. Are you okay?” Steve’s eye’s filled with concern. ‘You don’t look okay. God, I screwed up.’

“I’ll be okay.” You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “It’s just a lot and I’m still a little, I don’t know, disoriented.”

He squeezed you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong.” You spoke into his chest.

“I should have fought harder to wake you up sooner. I don’t like this idea of sending you away.” Steve gave you a squeeze. ‘I don’t want you to go anywhere. We can stay just like this.’

Something tightened in your chest. A nervous flutter danced across your belly. Just to test the feeling, you turned into Steve’s embrace fully, tipping your head up and burying your nose in his neck. You murmured. “It sucks but, I’ll be okay.”

‘Oh god,’ Steve gave you a tighter squeeze. ‘She feels so good. So damn good. Not about you, Rogers. Get it together.’ He held you back from him. “Are you going to be okay getting ready? Do you help?”

You stared into his eyes for a long moment, wondering why you never realized there was an attraction there before. He was focusing on making sure you would be okay. It was so sweet. Still, random thoughts burst through. ‘It may be months.’ ‘Kiss her.’ ‘So beautiful.’ ‘Don’t be an idiot.’

“I’ll be okay, Steve.” You touched his cheek. “How about I call you as soon as I get there?”

“Please.”

“You can call any time.”

“I will.” He smiled, a bit shy. “I suppose it’s evident I how much I want to.”

You just smiled back. “Let’s talk about when I don’t have an unfair advantage.”

He hugged you close once more. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Yeah,” You sighed. “I’ll miss you, too.”

He left to let you get dressed. As you pulled on the pants for the scrubs, you had to fight back a giggle as you heard. ‘Smooth, Rogers. Sniff her hair like that. Idiot. Gonna miss her smell. I hate this. Should have kissed her. Idiot.’

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction

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dearest-bucky · 4 years ago

Text

Breath of life (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After Thanos snapped his fingers and wiped out half the population of the planet, the remaining half was left more broken than ever. Some people tried to move on and make the best out of the new world they were living, others couldn’t bare to do so.

Words: 8.3K

Warnings: Angst, so much angst you better sit tight for this one

A/n: The reader’s condition with her humanity is based of The Vampire Diaries, especially the parts where Stefan would flip his humanity off and go on killing sprees. It is explained further in the story but I thought I could give you a clue as to where the idea came from.

Originally posted: May 11, 2020

Every noise suddenly stopped. Even the wind that moved through the leaves of the trees, causing them to rustle, couldn’t be heard anymore. The growling of the beasts stopped, the grunts of people fighting stopped.

The air was uncharacteristically still.

Thanos snapped his fingers and vanished through a portal. He was gone.

It was only a few moments later when screams of people started piercing the air, panicked, desperate. Then she turned her head towards him, hearing his surprisingly calm voice.

“Steve?” And then he vanished too. He turned to ashes right in front of her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She saw Steve walk towards the pile of ashes that were left behind, kneeling to softly touch the ground, a devastated look in his face.

“Oh God.” Was all he said, losing his balance and falling on the ground with a thud.

Everyone that were left soon gathered around him. Natasha, Bruce, Rhodey and Thor standing there, battered and tired, but their faces showed fear and shock too.

Everything was silent and still until a blood curdling scream that erupted from the depths of her chest left her mouth. Five pairs of eyes turned to look at her, but none of them was fast enough to move towards her as to not let her now unconscious body fall to the ground.

She woke up with a headache, in a room so white it almost blinded her. She was dizzy and unsure of her surroundings and she started to panic, frantically trying to remove the IV in her arms and the other wires attached to her body.

A nurse came in immediately, but as soon as she saw her state, she left the room hurriedly, only to return a few moments later with other people. In the middle of her panic she recognized Steve, and when he neared her bed, trying to stop her thrashing she clung to him like a lifeline and started to cry with loud sobs.

He cradled her head in his arms softly, shushing her with his voice. Eventually she had no choice but to calm down and Steve was grateful for that.

Despite her calming down, he didn’t move away from her, now sitting more comfortably on her bed and hugging her so tight he was surprised how she could still breathe. But she seemed like she didn’t care about that, her own arms linked around his torso just as tight, maybe more. She was still crying, but now it was only silent tears. She was so weary and exhausted she didn’t have the force to even sob anymore.

After a few more minutes, or maybe it was hours, not moving even an inch or letting go of him, with her face still burrowed in his chest, she mumbled tiredly. “Where are we?” Her voice was so weak and almost inaudible, but Steve’s super soldier hearing didn’t miss it.

“Wakanda. We brought you to the palace’s med bay immediately after you lost consciousness.” He explained and she could almost see it again how it all happened.

In her head replayed the moment she saw Bucky vanish right in front of her, she saw Steve’s desperation and as if she was living an out-of-body experience, she saw herself scream and then crash to the ground with a loud thud. Then her mind, just like her body, had blacked out too. Everything that surrounded her turned dark once more, and if it wasn’t for Steve’s presence keeping her grounded, she would have lost it again.

A fresh wave of tears streamed down her face and she could barely manage to wipe them with the back of her hand before speaking again. “I want to go home.”

Home. But what was home anymore? The Avengers compound in New York? That hasn’t been her home in almost 3 years. Wakanda? Definitely not. This place was filled with so many memories she wanted so badly to forget. In the last five years of her life, she had associated the notion of home not with a place, but with a person. To her, home was Bucky. But now that he was gone, she was left alone, homeless.

“Don’t worry Y/n, I’ll take care of you.” Steve whispered near her ear and she couldn’t do anything but agree. He was all she had left, the closest connection with Bucky, so she guessed it would be the right thing to stick with him.

The next day, they were all gathered near the quinjet, all that were left anyway. She stood close to Steve, always leaning to him, scared that if she moved to far he would disappear too. After saying goodbye to Okoye and a few Dora Milajes that were left, they entered the jet one after the other, heads hanging low and hurt.

Natasha was sitting next to Rhodey and Bruce, while she and Steve sat a few feet away, her head always leaning on Steve’s shoulder. The atmosphere around was heavy with heartbreak and loss and nobody was speaking, but their thoughts were all too loud Y/n could practically listen to them scream just as loud as she had before.

She had cried the entire night, exhausting herself to the limit and now she didn’t have the strength to even think anymore. She could only sniffle silently next to Steve, hoping to God she could fall asleep. At least then, she had no recollection of what had happened, she was away from the painful reality she was forced to live in.

The flight to New York was long, longer than anyone could bare to stay confined in such a small space without having to face each other and see the disappointment written across each of their figures. When they arrived though, they were met with Pepper, who looked just as bad as they did. Her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying and as soon as she saw Rhodey, she ran to hug him in hopes of consolation.

Steve hoisted Y/n in his arms, walking with her towards the sleeping quarters. He entered her old room with slow steps and set her on the bed quietly. She had fallen asleep almost an hour before landing in New York and Steve was thankful for that. He covered her body with a thick blanket and walked out just as quietly, closing the door behind him.

New York

It had been three weeks since they had returned from the greatest loss of their lives, yet they were still as disoriented as the first day. The half of the population was really gone. Hell, the half of the entire living creature. It was as if they had never existed. As if they had never been alive before. The only proof of their existence were the memories of those who were still alive. During these three weeks, there was no sign from Tony. He was considered lost too, along with the unfortunate half.

Y/n spent the days mostly in her bed, in the confines of her room. She barely moved, barely ate, barely talked. In such a short period of time all that was left of her was the shell of the person she used to be. She was grieving and it seemed that isolating herself from the rest of the world was her way of doing so.

It was just another day, just like the rest of them had been, when Natasha opened her door and entered her room with a glint in her eye she hadn’t seen during this last month. “Tony’s here.” Were the only words she said before she walked out of her room again, just as quickly as if she had come, and Y/n thought for a moment that she had imagined it all. That maybe her tired brain had her hallucinating. But she was soon proved wrong when she heard commotion coming from outside her room. She threw the blanket on the floor and got up from her bed too quickly for her own liking. Bad idea! Her vision turned black as soon as she got up on her legs and she had to lean on the bed again or she would fall down. She blinked hard a couple of times before standing on shaky legs and making the way towards the voices in the other room.

As soon as she entered, she was met with Tony yelling at Steve, disappointment and anger noticeable in the tone of his voice. She stood back, not daring to say anything as Tony continued to talk to Steve, calling him a liar and then only a moment later he lost consciousness. Y/n let out a small gasp when she saw him fall to the ground like that, so weak and tired.

After the satellite signal for the appearance of a new planet, the Avengers, or what was left of them, along with Carol, Nebula and Rocket, left on a mission, hoping they would be able to undo the Snap.

Considering the weak state she was in, not only physically but also mentally, Steve ordered her to stay at the compound with Tony and Pepper, despite her arguing and insisting that she had every right to go in that mission as much as the rest of them.

So she sat next to Tony’s bed with Pepper, chatting softly while Tony was having a much needed rest.

“Don’t lose hope just yet.” Pepper said to her, a genuine tone of voice, but she had a hard time believing it nonetheless. It was easy for Pepper to say so. It wasn’t the love of her life who turned to ashes in front of her. She had Tony back. Back and safe and close to her. Something she didn’t. She nodded her head in agreement anyway, not wanting to say anything to upset or hurt the other woman’s feelings. Don’t get her wrong, she was happy Tony was alive and well, as well as he could be anyway, but at least he was there.

After losing her parents in a supposedly car accident, which she knew was work of Hydra, Tony was the first person to support her 18 years old self, despite the fact that she didn’t need it. She had been trained by her parents her entire life the same way S.H.I.E.L.D agents were trained. She was fluent in seven foreign languages, including russian and arabic, she was very skilled in hand to hand combat, martial arts and had an impeccable mark in shooting.

She was in the car with her parents that fateful day, wanting to leave New York for a family vacation when a truck came out of nowhere and cut their way, resulting in the fatal crash that took the lives of both her parents. She was barely breathing by the time two Hydra agents dragged her out of the car and took her with them, curing her from her injuries but at the same time, conducting experiment after experiment in her body.

Almost four months later, she was able to escape from them. Not wanting to turn to S.H.I.E.L.D for help, fearing there were many corrupted agents secretly working for Hydra, she decided to go to Tony. He never asked her what happened, only welcomed her as if she was his own daughter.

She had worked with the Avengers for a while, then Nick Fury learned about her being alive and he personally asked for her help in several missions he couldn’t trust anyone else with.

The Avengers returned that very same day from their mission, their heads hanging low, pain evident in their faces, looks of disappointment and hurt shared with each other, until they all retreated each in their own room without so much of a word.

She understood immediately what that meant, but she still followed behind Steve like a lost puppy, not knowing what else to do.

He entered his room and left the door open for her to enter too and wordlessly sat on the edge of his bed, throwing his compass carelessly on the nightstand. Y/n stood silently on her feet in the middle of his room, until he picked his head up to look at her. “I’m so sorry.” Was all he said before he started crying in silence, hiding his face in his hands.

“Me too.” She replied simply and turned around to walk out of his room, closing the door with a loud thud behind her.

She ran to her room and locked the door before slamming her body on the bed, hot tears running to her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut, as if wanting to shut out her thoughts too.

Up until that day, she had been finding solace in sleep, at least the unconsciousness and blackness of dozing off was a somewhat consolation, a time off from her thoughts and feelings, but that changed too when she woke up screaming from a nightmare. She was sweating and panting hard, barely catching her breath as she opened her eyes, only to be met with the darkness of her room.

She could hear somebody knocking on her door, wanting to come in, but she couldn’t make out the words the person on the other side was saying, neither to whom belonged that voice. A few moments later she calmed down enough to really listen to the voice that was calling out to her. Steve.

She moved from her bed with slow steps and just as slowly turned the knob to open her door, finding Steve standing there with a panicked expression on his face. “You okay?” He asked and she could only shake her head in return, unable to form any words because of the lump in her throat.

He walked two short steps in her direction and wrapped his arms around her body in a secure hug and that was all it took for the dam to break free. Tears rushed out of her eyes and loud sobs left her mouth as she clung to him desperately.

“It’s okay, it’s over now.. It’s over.” He repeated as he softly stroke her hair but nothing could calm her down.

“Nothing is over Steve.” She spoke up between hiccups and sobs. “I thought I could escape the reality in my sleep, but now that is also evaded by nightmares of what happened. Nothing will ever be over. Nothing will ever be okay.”

He moved her to her bed and laid down next to her, holding her close to his body until he felt her breathing even and that was enough indication for him that she had fallen asleep again.

When she woke up in the morning, every part of her body was aching, her head was close to exploding as if she was reliving a bad hangover. Steve was nowhere to be found, despite the fact that she remembered vividly falling asleep in his arms after the last night’s nightmare. She got up from her bed with slow, unsteady steps and walked out of her room towards the kitchen, searching desperately for water and an aspirin.

As she slowly made her way to the kitchen, she could distinctively hear the voices of at least three different people speaking to each other. She paid no mind to what they were saying, wanting to just get in, get what she needed and get out, but when she heard her name, she stopped right in her tracks, straining her weary self to concentrate on the words they were saying.

“She has totally given up. She doesn’t even leave her bed anymore.” Natasha’s voice sounded distant, but the underlying worry was still evident in her tone. Y/n could only sigh at her words, she was right after all. She truly had given up, on herself, on the world, on life. What was the point in not giving up anyway? She had lost everyone she had ever loved. First her parents, now the love of her life. It seemed as if there was someone out there saying “No!” every time she prayed for happiness. Now who the hell was she to defy the greater powers than herself? No one, really.

She broke off the trance of her thoughts when she heard Tony’s voice this time speaking. “As long as she doesn’t leave her bed everything is fine, really.”

Natasha’s eyes widened at his words. What the hell was Tony talking about? But Steve seemed to understand the secret message lying underneath the spoken words of Stark.

“Tony’s right. As long as she doesn’t switch it off, there is still hope for her. We should give her time, she’s mourning the loss of Bucky, it’s only normal for her to stay hidden in her room all the time. It’s difficult for all of us, but we all know her condition. It is twice as hard for her.” Steve’s voice was compassionate as he spoke, almost soft with care and sympathy for her.

She decided she had heard enough of their talk and with careful steps walked backwards to her room again. She slammed the door closed harshly and sat down on her bed, thinking, rethinking her choices.

Her time with Hydra had been like living a never ending hell she didn’t deserve and when she finally managed to escape their atrocities, she was able to finally breathe again. They had experimented on her during the entire time they had her, but she never understood what had happened with her, not noticing anything different in her body.

It was only almost a year after her escape, during a mission in Lebanon, where she was surrounded by enemy forces that she finally discovered the product of the experiments made on her. One moment she was surrounded by agents, guns pointed at her and despite her professionalism she couldn’t help the feeling of panic that bloomed in her chest from the situation, then the next, without even noticing she had stopped her heart from beating and shut her brain off, only the survival instinct active in her entire being.

She lunged towards one of the agents, without caring for the gun he was holding and moved his body in front of hers, using it as a human shield. In a few short moments, the rest of the agents were scattered around the floor, all dead.

At first she couldn’t comprehend what was going on, but then it dawned on her, as if flipping a switch, she had flipped her humanity off, living on only her primal instincts, survival and killing.

It was difficult to understand what was really happening with her, but after some times and some very thorough analysis in the lab with Bruce and Tony, they could finally find out that as a result of all the experiments of Hydra, she was able to switch her humanity off and go on a killing spree like a hound thirsty for blood. The only problem was switching it on again.

They were still talking to each other when they heard the slam of a door echo through the halls and they were startled by the noise of it.

“Fri?” Tony was the first to ask the A.I and it didn’t lose a second to respond.

“That was miss Y/n, sir.” She replied, and upon hearing her answer, the three of them ran towards Y/n’s room. Steve opened her door quickly but cautiously, surprised to see her sitting in the middle of her unmade bed.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” He asked her carefully, not wanting to startle her.

“Yeah, everything is okay Cap.” She answered, surprisingly calm and that scared him. She hadn’t been calm in almost two months, now seeing her unmoving like that was freaking him out.

He tried to walk towards her, slowly moving towards her bed, but she held her hand up, signaling him to stop. She sucked in a deep breath before closing her eyes. “I’m sorry.” It was all she said, a single teardrop staining her otherwise porcelain-like skin.

Her eyes fluttered behind her eyelids for a brief second before she opened them again, this time void of every emotion. Void of life itself.

Natasha gasped in shock at what happened, not believing she would do this to herself and them too, but she didn’t dare speak.

“What did you do?” It was Steve who spoke, shocked and unable to comprehend her action.

Year 2014, Bucharest, Romania

She was running, like she was always doing lately. Running to save her life which she loved to put in danger so carelessly. It was as if she got off from the pain, she had become addicted to the adrenaline rushing in her veins. The only thing she could feel when she was switched off. Another mission, somewhat successful, but considering the big mess she had left behind for the police to find and the knife wound on her ribs, one wouldn’t be so sure about using the word “success” to describe it.

The sun had already set, leaving place to the darkness of the night, giving her the opportunity to run undetected through the different alleys of the city. Despite the fact that she was bleeding too much, nothing could stop her from running. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, only the instinct to make it through and survive this guiding her steps, but to no particular direction.

Her legs were almost failing her, when she turned around the corner of another alley to walk out on a somewhat lit but empty street and her body slammed against another person. A tall figure, big and strong, gripped her forearms tightly and held her at arms length, studying her face but also not letting her fall down.

“Aw, fuck.” She cursed under her breath as the man in front of her kept staring at her face, then his eyes trailed down her body, noticing the stain of blood in her black gear. He visibly stiffened at the sight of her and the english word she muttered, thinking he had missed it, but he didn’t say anything to let her know he had understood.

“Sunteţi bine?” He asked in fluent romanian, his voice a little unsure though, despite the fact that he tried to hide his growing nerves.

She only looked at him for a second, before nodding her head slowly in approval. “Da.” Was all she replied but that was enough for him to let go of her arms and move away from her and with a final look, he started walking again, away from her, moving with slow but sure steps in the other directions.

He would leave her behind, as he planned to do the second her body slammed to his, but before he could walk too far, he heard her let out a pained grunt and she fell to her knees at the corner of the street, unable to carry on anymore.

Bucky knew he would regret it and his actions would soon come back to bite him in the ass, but he couldn’t help the nagging feeling in his chest as he saw her figure, crunched down on her knees and pressing one of her hands on her side where she was still visibly bleeding. He turned around to walk in her direction again, and he knelt next to her, inspecting her wound with nimble fingers.

She had been in and out of consciousness for the last hour, losing sight of where he was taking her. It was unusual for her to let her guard down like this, but she was in no condition to be cautious.

When she opened her eyes again, she was sitting on a chair and the man from the street was still in front of her, crunched down on his knees. He had ripped off the top of her gear, leaving her upper body in a black sports bra as he inspected her wound.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was weak and small, but he heard it nonetheless.

“We should dress your wound before you bleed to death.” His reply was short, as if calculated while he took a bottle of vodka and offered it to her. “Drink.” He ordered and she only scoffed in return.

“I don’t need it.”

“Okay, have it your way.” He unscrewed the bottle and poured the alcoholic liquid on her open wound. Except a small hiss, no other noise left her lips as he settled the bottle on the floor and picked up a small needle with a thread, sewing her flesh closed.

He could listen to her labored breaths, but she never complained while the needle pierced her wounded flesh precisely and that surprised Bucky to no end. Who was this woman, wounded and so weak, but yet so strong? Even he wasn’t that indifferent to such pain.

He put a gauze over her wound and with a small sigh got up to stand on his feet in front of her. “That will do.”

She nodded her head in response and moved to get up from the chair, legs still unsteady but she was determined to leave. “Thank you.” She said before picking up her torn off top and walking towards the front door. However she couldn’t make it too far as her knees failed her once more and this time she lost consciousness, totally blacking out.

Bucky picked her up carefully and laid her down on his mattress, it was the closest thing he had to a bed in his new house. He covered her body with the thin comforter and sat himself too at the end of the mattress, his back pressed on the wall. That night he didn’t get a single minute of sleep, only watching her chest rise and fall with every breath she took while she had occupied most of his mattress in her sleep.

The sun was already out when she woke up with a groan, surprisingly loud for someone of her measure. She squinted her eyes to get familiar with her surroundings and as soon as her brain clicked in place and she was reminded of the events of last night, she visibly panicked and scrambled against the comforter to get up and leave.

She heard the noise from behind her before she saw him. He was standing near the stove, apparently waiting for the water of the coffeepot to boil.

“Who are you?” She finally found her voice to ask and he was surprised at how different her voice sounded from last night. How panicked and… Soft? He turned to face her, turning off the stove before picking up the coffeepot and filling two mugs.

Her hair was disheveled, her skin pale and her lips were chapped, but he thought that despite everything, she was very beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman he had seen in a very long time. “I’m nobody,” He replied unsure. “I just happened to be there when you passed out and I helped you with your wound.”

His explanation seemed to please her because she simply nodded her head and walked to him, picking up one of the mugs with shaky hands and taking a sip from the hot beverage. “Thank you.” She said after a while. “For helping me.” A small pause. “And for the coffee.” She swore she could see a ghost of a smile making a very short appearance on his lips, but it left so quick she was afraid that maybe she had imagined it.

“What happened to you?” He asked her cautiously, not wanting to strike any nerve or make her feel uncomfortable. However she seemed quite relaxed in his presence, unaware of who he really was. To her, he was only a random man who had helped her from bleeding out on the street, and Bucky was content to keep it that way.

“Job gone wrong.” Her voice was calm as she answered to him and he didn’t dare ask anything else. But curiosity got the best of him, and he had to ask her some more, otherwise he would burst from the edge of not knowing. So after a couple of minutes sitting in silence and quietly sipping each on their own cup of coffee, he finally decided to speak again.

“Last night you were…” He began, unsure of how to end that sentence, and for the lack of a better word, he finally managed to finish. “…different.”

She met his eye for a brief second before taking a sip on her coffee again, as if trying to gain some time to think of an answer for him. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” She replied to him just as calmly as before.

He stared at her face, wanting to understand her more. To him she was an enigma, a mystery, and he wanted nothing more than to unravel her. He waited in silence for her to speak more, having absolutely nothing else more important to do.

It was somewhat strange, if he dared say so himself. As if the woman standing in front of him now wasn’t the same woman he met last night. Before, her eyes were void and vacant of any emotion, while now it seemed as if a storm of feelings were brewing behind her irises. He couldn’t understand what was going on with her, but he wanted to.

Y/n thought about his words for a moment, contemplating on what she could respond to him, but then she guessed nothing would happen even if she told the truth. After all, this man had saved her life. He had had every opportunity to harm her or kill her, but he hadn’t done it. Instead he had sewn her wound and had taken care of her.

“I don’t know how much will it make sense for you what I’m about to tell you, but I guess you deserve to know the truth.” She finally spoke up after a moment that stretched for far too long. So she told him everything. She told him about her life before her parents were dead, she told him about the accident that changed her life, about the experiments Hydra conducted on her, mercilessly. She told him about her condition, how she could just flip off her humanity as if with a switch, how she became a ruthless killer when she wasn’t “human” anymore. How it was difficult for her every time to flip it back on.

Bucky was captivated by her story, hanging tight to her every word, taking in everything she shared with him, not daring to interrupt her once since she began speaking. When she had mentioned Hydra he had visibly flinched, but she hadn’t noticed, too engrossed in her own story, too lost in her head to pay attention to him.

“I can flip it off voluntarily, but flipping it back on is the real problem.” She explained softly. “My friends have tried to find a solution, but apparently nothing but a black out works.”

“Well, you could go to sleep and the next morning it will be on again.” He said nonchalantly and she couldn’t help but let out a short laugh at his words. Bucky loved the sound.

“I wish it worked like that. But sleep is not the solution. It has to be a black out. Sort of like a blow in my head.” She repeated again. “Like last night. If I hadn’t lost consciousness I wouldn’t have my humanity flipped on right now.”

His eyes widened at her words, not fully understanding the extend of her condition, but eager to learn more. He was fascinated by her. “So what is it like? When you flip it off then back on?” He asked, genuinely interested.

“Well, to flip it off is easy.” She started speaking again. “It’s like a switch in my brain that I am able to control, to turn it off. It’s like nothing matters except my need to kill. There are only two reflexes, or whatever you want to call them, kill and not get killed. I guess that’s what makes me really good at my job.” She scoffed sarcastically at her own words, having grown already tired of what she did for a living. “That’s easy though. The difficult part comes the next time I open my eyes and my head hurts and it is as if every feeling I had shut out when my humanity was flipped off, crashes within me with full force, it is so intensive it hurts.”

She spent the rest of the day with him, talking, sharing her entire life with this stranger. In a way it helped with the intensity of having her humanity flipped on after so long, his presence was calming, as if comforting, but soon she had to leave seeing as it was time for her to go back to New York.

“Thank you for everything.” She said to him before leaving and he nodded his head, unable to say something else. She walked out of his door, a couple of steps away from him, then turned back and walked to him, quickly wrapping both of her arms around his torso in a short hug. At the action, Bucky’s breath hitched but he relaxed before she removed herself from him. “Goodbye.” Were her last words before she walked out, this time for good.

Year 2023, Mexico

All around her, dead bodies were scattered on the ground, yet she didn’t care at all about them. After all, it was what they deserved. Five years ago, she had chosen a very similar path to Clint, going after every bad guy she could get her hands on. After flipping her humanity off right in front of Steve she had slowly walked away from him, taking nothing with her when she left the compound.

Nobody had followed behind her, knowing very well neither one of them could make her change her mind. They had let her walk away without so much of a fight, all too tired to go after her.

“She’ll come back.” Tony had stated simply. “Whenever she’s ready.”

Now, five years and too many killings to count later, she still wasn’t planning to go back. Still not satisfied with all the blood she had in her hands. But she reasoned there was not enough blood in the world to make up for the life of Bucky. There were not enough lives, to make up for his death.

She threw her weapon on the floor, next to the dead bodies, and turned around to walk away as if everything was fine. This was her normal now. She was walking towards her bike, which she had parked at least a hundred feet away from the warehouse she had just destroyed, when she finally noticed him. As tall as she remembered him. As lean as always, broad shoulders and muscly arms rippling through the navy shirt he was wearing.

She stopped in her tracks, surprised to see him there after all this time. She knew the Avengers kept tabs on her location every time she moved, but up until now, none of them had come for her. And she was glad to keep it that way. But now, seeing Steve leaning on her bike so casually, she couldn’t help but wonder why he was there.

“Fancy seeing you here, Captain.” She spoke sarcastically, as if his presence there didn’t even bother her just a little.

“Time to come back home Y/n.” He said to her simply, as if he didn’t hear her sassy remark.

“I don’t have a home.” She replied just as nonchalantly as he spoke, and at that Steve couldn’t help but let out a dejected sigh.

“We can bring him back Y/n.” He finally said and she whipped her head up in his direction so fast she became dizzy. “We can bring Bucky and everyone back.” Despite the fact that she couldn’t feel anything, the mention of his name stirred something deep within her and she couldn’t speak another word anymore, lost in the moment, suddenly every memory she had with him rushing in her head.

Year 2015, Bucharest

It was 10 months later when she returned to Romania for the second time. After spending many months with the Avengers, working and living with them at the Tower, they had become some sort of a family to her. Weird and dysfunctional, but a family nonetheless. Wanda was one of her closest friends, their Hydra experiences something they could bond over, relating with each other more than with anybody else in the team. Other than her, Steve became a good friend, his quiet and polite self making way in her life slowly but surely.

After a long time talking with Steve about his past and his life before the war, Y/n finally gathered all the information she gave him and connected the dots in her head. The mysterious man from last year that had saved her life was none other than Bucky Barnes, Steve’s oldest friend. Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. She didn’t dare say anything about it to Steve, but she decided to go back in Romania, hoping to find him again.

She thought about her mysterious hero whenever she would change her clothes and touch the puckered skin on her ribs that he had sewed. She often wondered how was he doing, what was going on with him, but never dared to go back to the place they had met.

Now, almost a year later and after learning who he really was, she had no other choice but to try and find him again. She knew it was a long shot trying to find him again after all this time, almost sure she would not find him in Bucharest anymore, but when she knocked on the door of his apartment she was surprised to find him there.

“Cine e?” He asked from the other side of the door and only when he heard her voice say her name, did he dare to unlock the door and open it, coming face to face with the woman he had seen too long ago for his liking. Despite the time that had passed, she looked still the same, her eyes still as kind and full of emotion as he remembered. “Y/n.” He breathed out her name. “What are you doing here?”

She didn’t answer right away, walking inside his apartment uninvited. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything, he only closed the door behind her and locked it again.

She was looking around the place, almost everything was the same as the last time she had been there. His mattress was still on the corner of the room, a pillow and the same old comforter on it. After a few minutes of inspecting the place, she turned to face him, and finally managed to speak. “You’re Bucky Barnes.” She said matter-of-factly and his eyes widened at her words.

Here comes the bite in my ass, he thought to himself as she looked at him in a way he couldn’t quite decipher.

He stiffened as her eyes were glued on his face and as if she could read his thoughts, she spoke up again. “Don’t worry, nobody knows about you.”

“How did you find out?” He asked, visibly uncomfortable with the fact that she knew his identity.

“Steve. He talked so much about you and I connected the dots.” She explained. “It makes sense, you know. Why you don’t want to be found.” He only nodded his head at her, not knowing what else to say. He wasn’t sure if he could even believe her.

“Why are you here?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think I would find you here again, I was really surprised when you answered the door.” She let out a small breath before she began speaking again. “I have thought of you often during the last 10 months, but after talking to Steve and realizing who you were, I had to come back and see you again.” She confessed. It was noticeable it wasn’t easy for her to speak up those words, but the way she spoke them, with a sincerity in her tone, Bucky had no doubt in his mind anymore. He closed the distance with her in three short strides and placed his hand under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his eyes.

“Why?” He asked again.

Her eyes moved from his eyes to his lips, and she swallowed visibly. She wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable under his gaze, but it was somewhat intense. “I don’t know..” She started explaining, having a hard time finding the right words. “I guess, I just..”

He didn’t let her finish speaking, but slowly, allowing her the time to retreat if she wanted to, leaned his head down to meet their lips in a short and chaste kiss. He broke the contact too soon for her liking, and after another second of looking at each other’s eyes, she snaked her hand behind his neck and kissed his lips again, this time more determined.

All too soon, not even having the time to think of what was really happening, they found themselves rolling naked on the mattress on his floor, consumed by the passion in their bodies.

Her head was laying on his chest, bodies covered in a thin layer of sweat, but neither one caring about it. Their bodies and souls finally sated and satisfied, they laid next to each other, his metal fingers running delicately through her hair.

“Now what?” She asked after a long time in silence, not bearing to listen the thrum of her own heart anymore.

“I don’t know.” He answered sincerely, and she agreed with him. She didn’t know either. But that was okay.

Year 2023, New York

Returning with Steve was the best decision she could make. Her humanity was still flipped off when she arrived at the compound after all those years and she didn’t really feel anything when she met her friends, Tony, Rhodey, Natasha but she hugged them as if she had missed them. She guessed, underneath all of the hard exterior of this whole non-humanity thing, she truly had missed them. She had missed being in their presence, she had missed having them in her life, she just couldn’t feel it.

She had gone back in time at the battle of New York with Steve’s team, working with a very confused Scott to retrieve the mind stone. Steve sent her back to the compound with Scott, while he and Tony had to make another jump in time after failing with the Tesseract.

“So you’re like a soulless witch?” He had asked her at some point and Y/n only laughed at his question, not answering at all. Scott was a weird character, she concluded, but he meant well. She had met him briefly during the Civil War between the Avengers, at the airport in Germany, but at that time she was too busy thinking about getting Bucky to safety, rather than focusing on Scott or anyone else.

After that second time she had gone to Bucharest, her visits became more frequent, until she would stay several weeks with him, hidden away from the rest of the world. Every time she returned to him, she felt herself falling deeper in love with the man, and she could finally begin to control her switching-on. Her humanity was connected with her love for Bucky and now instead of a black out, it only took the touch of his hand, or the sound of his voice, for her to get back in touch with her emotions, flipping her humanity on again.

Bucky was the only person to bring her back to her senses, to bring back her feelings, her emotions, her human self. After the events of the Civil War, when he could finally live a calm life in Wakanda, he had asked her to stay there with him and she had happily agreed, knowing no other place as home but a place next to him. And they had lived a calm and happy life until Thanos happened, and he took her happiness away, he took her love, her life away.

“I still don’t feel well Bucky.” She said unsure, her head resting on his shoulder. Something had been nagging her the entire day and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Her emotions never deceiving her. They had been living together in Wakanda for almost two years, happy to spend the time away from everyone else, away from the fights and the aliens, away from the rushed life of the big cities. They were happy to live near the forest, with a beautiful lake so close to them they could run up to it and bathe together.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe your emotions are acting up after that last mission.” He tried to reassure her that everything was alright, that they were safe. “Come on, let’s go feed the goats.” He nuzzled her nose with his and pecked her lips before getting up and out of the hut they both shared, knowing she would follow behind him.

He was moving the hay around when T'Challa came with his guards, and a box containing his new vibranium arm. Y/n’s breath hitched when she saw it, the blood leaving her body in horror. She knew what was coming for them. They both knew.

“Where’s the fight?” Was all Bucky said and she couldn’t help but shiver at how calm he sounded.

Now, as she stood beside Steve, ready to face the army of aliens one last time, she couldn’t help but be amazed at the sight of people coming out of the magical portals of Doctor Strange. She saw King T'Challa with Shuri and Okoye come out from the first portal, with the entire Wakandan army behind them. From another portal came out Doctor Strange, The Guardians, Peter Parker. She was looking around frantically, waiting for the moment she’d see him, and when her eyes met his figure, her breath hitched.

“Steve…” She whispered to the Captain in a small voice and he only rested his hand on her shoulder, still stunned from what was happening.

The fighting was long and it seemed as if it wouldn’t end, until Tony snapped his own fingers, making Thanos and his entire army vanish. However, there was no time to be happy, because at that same time, they lost Tony. Everyone knelt in front of him, as a sign of respect for his ultimate sacrifice.

They were paying the last respects to him at the lake house when she felt herself fall. After seeing Bucky’s face again, so close to her, almost touchable, her humanity had flipped back on and she hadn’t even notice, until she fell down on the ground, crippled by the unbearable weight of emotions. Five years worth of emotions and feelings rushing in her heart and body, making it impossible for her to breathe, almost suffocating her.

Steve was the first to run in her direction, scooping her up in his arms and moving her inside the cabin. Bucky could only look at her from the distance, not knowing how to act.

It was only the next day when she woke up, still weak and tired, but at least the color had returned to her cheeks and she was able to breathe normally. As soon as she opened her eyes she was met with Steve’s soft features staring down at her.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked her in a voice that was almost as soft as the way he was looking at her. She could only groan in pain, unable to answer. “It’s okay, you should take it easy.” He said after a moment.

“Where’s Bucky?” She asked a moment later, her voice strained and weak.

Steve looked behind his back and she moved her eyes to follow his line of sight too. When her eyes turned to the door of the room she was in, she could finally see him standing, almost leaning on the door frame, as if trying to make himself smaller. Her breath hitched at the sight of him and Steve turned his attention towards her again. “You need to calm down. Everything is okay now, but you need to calm down if you want to be able to meet him. You’re still weak and you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself with feelings.

He knew what he was asking her to do was impossible, for many reasons. One of them, it was Bucky who he was talking about, she couldn’t avoid feeling those emotions even if she wanted to. Another one being the fact that she had her humanity flipped off for too long, it would take her a long time to recover anyway.

"Please..” She could only breathe out, hoping Steve would understand what she wanted, and thankfully he did. Bucky walked towards her bed in short, unsure steps and moved to the other side of her, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed she was laying in. She moved to sit up, finally being able to snake her arms around his neck and hold him close to her body. Bucky moved up his own arms, wrapping them around her torso securely, breathing her in.

“O-oh God!” She choked on the words and she held him impossibly close to her, feeling her tears run freely down her cheeks, staining her skin and also the shirt he was wearing, but neither of them seemed to mind.

“It’s over.” He whispered in her ear, assuring her that he was really there. “It’s finally over baby doll. We’re okay.” He kept saying, petting her hair softly and keeping her close to his body.

She could feel her heart beat steadily in her chest, and she could feel his heart beat too, convincing her of his presence, and she could finally breathe. They could both finally breathe.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

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retvenkos · 4 years ago

Text

he smiles // mordred

Merlin (BBC) - Mordred x Fem!Reader, fluff

A/N: 8.1k words!!! i didn’t think it was in me, but i clearly love mordred more than i should...

Summary: There had been time for them to bask in each other’s presence, to feel their souls intertwine as their paths converged onto the same road. For, in those days, few as they were, Mordred and (Y/n) shared a common destination and their fates were one.

brother, you could never understand the beauty in his eyes and the pain reflected there. i have found legends of the most desolate of places with the most gruesome of histories and none of them compare to the look in his eyes. he has been rubbed raw of everything he’s loved and has been chipped away of everything he once was.

but he is beautiful, brother, when the stars are resting in the black night of his hair and when the ivy climbs his skin like a statue of marble.

and when he smiles…

is there beauty that could compare?

ii.

Laughter, warmth, and wine filled the Banquet Hall. Knights celebrated, feasting and drinking to good fortune, speaking with one another in their usual, rowdy tones. Music played and merriment filled the hearts of every soldier and guest in the room.

Instead of sitting at the high table where his father had sat before him, King Arthur was amongst his people, Guinevere at his side, speaking to the man that was cause for celebration; Mordred. An old acquaintance and new ally, this young man was knighted earlier that day and the newest recruit was being honored the only way Camelot knew how.

Mordred was smiling, disbelief clinging to the edges of his mouth, hope blooming roses on his cheeks, underneath his skin. His joy was more subdued than that of those who surrounded him, but it seemed as though the happiness that clung to him was the most pure and full joy he had ever experienced in all his years on Earth.

(Y/n) had yet to meet Modred when Gwaine grabbed her arm and took her over to where his fellow knights were huddled together, in the center of the hall.

“Gwaine,” (Y/n) huffed, following her older brother, despite her initial reaction of refusing, “what is it, this time?”

“You haven’t greeted the King and Queen! Guinevere was wondering if you had gotten holed up in the library again, archiving histories no one’s ever going to read.” Gwaine’s voice bubbled with glee, the mead he had drunk already taking effect on his mood, making him even more playful than usual.

“Are you sure it wasn’t because you didn’t want me talking to the ladies at court? I heard a pretty blonde knows you better than I.”

Gwaine grabbed another drink from a nearby servant and took a swig of it. “If she knew me better than you, she wouldn’t have talked to me the way she did.”

(Y/n) scoffed. “Apparently she spends quite a lot of time in your chambers, as well.” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow and stole her brother's mead, taking a drink of it herself.

“We’ve been getting better acquainted.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes and Gwaine laughed, taking his drink back, only to find it empty. He nudged her in the ribs with a playful scowl before letting go of her arm and nodding to the Queen. He disappeared into the crowd after that, leaving his younger sister to bow and exchange formalities.

“My Lady.”

“(Y/n),” Guinevere smiled, laughing at the title she now wore. Her spirits, too, had been lifted by the contents of her goblet, and the candle-lit hall seemed to be painted in rosy hues. “You know you can call me Gwen.”

“But that isn’t nearly as fun.”

(Y/n) bowed once more, her eyebrows raised in jest and Guinevere shook her head. “Have you met Sir Mordred?”

“No, I’ve not.”

“Well, then,” Guinevere led (Y/n) a few paces deeper into the throng of knights and very quickly found who she was looking for. She smiled triumphantly when she did and put a hand on the shoulder of a man turned away from her. “Sir Mordred, this is Lady (Y/n).”

The knight turned around, (Y/n)’s gaze met his, and the world around them slowed. Her heartbeat quickened and her breath caught as his blue eyes shook her to her core, seemingly looking right into her soul, finding the pure gold that lay at the heart of her very being. In that moment, which stretched into infinity for them but never left the stream of time for others, (Y/n) could see the most beautiful sky form in his eyes.

And she knew the poets to be right in their rambles of beauty and desire and all that fell in between.

“Sir Mordred,” (Y/n) bowed low, long lashes kissing her cheeks and allowing her a second of relief from his intoxicating gaze.

He breathed her name and it sounded like a forgotten memory; like something that was all at once fondly missed and discovered anew.

“I see you’ve met my sister!” Gwaine’s strong voice shattered the still moment efficiently. The knight clapped Mordred on the shoulder with a strength that could have made mountains crumble, but Modred did not move. “She works with Geoffrey of Monmouth in the Royal Library.”

“She’s the brain to his brawn,” Guinevere supplied with a grin, a twinkle in her eye.

“And the beauty,” (Y/n) teased, earning a laugh from Guinevere and a protest from Gwaine. Through the laughing, (Y/n) caught Mordred’s keen eye as it lingered on her.

iii.

brother, i cannot describe it, but there is a kindness in his bones. it is so deeply rooted in the fabric of his being that it cannot be separated without destroying him - picking him apart piece by piece, excavating his soul until it becomes a cavern, stripped of it’s jewels and metals.

the heavens treat him as though he is a part of them. the sun haloes around his head like a crown, like he is an angel on earth.

and, brother, when he smiles…

the skies above clear just for him.

iv.

(Y/n) walked through the castle, purpose quickening her step, her mind stuck in days gone by, those scholars called the Great Purge. She had been translating history texts written in languages that had died with the Old Religion, and had come across a mention of a sorceress she had not heard of in her many years of learning. Geoffrey of Monmouth, the keeper of the library, had told her to take the name to Gaius in search of more information.

“If the sorceress does, indeed, exist,” Geoffrey had told her, “then there is great reason to believe she did not perish in the Great Purge and the king must be warned.”

(Y/n) understood the danger that a sorceress could present to the kingdom, which fueled her haste in going to Gaius’ chambers, but hesitation pricked at the back of her mind, making her avert her eyes from those around her.

Was a sorceress inherently evil? It went against all her beliefs to concede to that idea. She had always been taught that evil was a thing to be cultivated, it was not the natural state of mankind. Then how could it be justified, slaughtering her before she has committed a crime? All men face hardships that poison them with the potential for great evil, yet they are not senselessly killed. But with times being what they were - with Morgana threatening everything Camelot stood for…

The sound of swords clanging disrupted her thoughts, and (Y/n) stopped to calm her mind.

The world was a hard place to navigate through and come out unscathed. There were times when (Y/n) thought it just might be impossible. Sometimes, it seemed that humans were made to bleed. Skin was made fragile for a reason, after all.

Swords clashed together once more, and (Y/n) turned to the source of the noise. The knights (just as she has suspected) were honing their sword fighting skills, the men engaged in one on one combat. Her eyes immediately found Gwaine, who was sparring with Percival, both of them clearly taunting the other. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at their antics, chuckling when Percival was able to get the jump on Gwaine, delivering a harsh blow that her brother was only just able to block, stumbling backward.

Her eyes drifted, then, to Mordred, who was sparring with Elyan. As she gazed at the pair, (Y/n) found herself under his spell once more. His brow was furrowed in concentration and his jaw was set; he looked lethal, like a dangerous poison had been unleashed in his bloodstream and was ready to consume everything in its path. (Y/n) looked deeper into his eyes, expecting a hurricane to be raging within but found no animosity there.

Mordred; like all men; like the sorceress who’s name she had on a scrap of paper, tight in her fist; had the capability to be cruel in this harsh world, but it was not in his nature. She could see that in his soul, and the fact that she could see it from such a distance was a testament to that goodness and beauty she had seen in the Banquet Hall, only a day prior.

King Arthur called for his men to cease their training. Swords no longer clashed. Mordred’s eyes locked with (Y/n)’s.

She smiled politely and he nodded to her, his own mouth curling upward, slightly; a look that was meant for her, and no one else. (Y/n)’s breath caught in her chest. The ache that lingered there was pleasant and bearable, when she remembered who had left it.

Gwaine saw his sister and called to her. (Y/n) snapped her attention to him and waved.

Then, with one last glance at the knight who had caught her attention, she continued on her path to Gaius’ chambers, her thoughts straying from the sorceress at hand, her cheeks warm and heart hammering.

brother, there is a knowledge in his voice that could drown the world in sorrows. he speaks and his words are heavy enough to bury us all alive. but that is not who he is. for, brother, when he looks at me with eyes like diamonds forged far beneath the ground, i see a light that he has created within.

it is warm and kind and believes in the world this one could become. how has he fallen in love with this world when it has come to him broken, already in shambles?

i do not know, but when he smiles…

could the world really be this way?

vi.

The gossip ladies shared while dining was, for the most part, colorful but frivolous. Most of the time it was rumors about a prince who couldn’t banish his feelings for a commoner or a princess who couldn’t hold her tongue while in the presence of men. It was spoken of in tones that made it sound more interesting than it was, and it was passed through the table like another dish they were being served.

(Y/n) listened and engaged with it at yet another banquet, thrown in the aftermath of yet another victory over sorcery. The music played energetically, and as the wine flowed, the painted lips of women loosened and their words came freely.

“That Sir Mordred,”—(Y/n)’s ears perked at the sound of his name—“he’s grown awfully close to the King, hasn’t he?”

The lady who spoke tilted her head and her friends urged her to continue - to finish the thought that was stewing inside her head.

She smiled wickedly, lowering her voice and leaning in, “I’ve heard nasty whispers about where he’s from - no one really knows, but some think he’s a slave-trader, and others…” she paused for affect, and when the music played loudly again, she divulged, “others say he might be a Druid.”

The ladies gasped and (Y/n) felt bile rise in her throat. Suddenly, she wished the gossip to stop - for the music to become so loud that the lady who sat across from her wouldn’t be able to finish the vile thought that she was already speaking.

“If he hadn’t saved King Arthur’s life… Well, we know where he would be.”

(Y/n) stood up in a flash, her jaw set, her eyes angry and frightened, her nerves a mess. The ladies startled and turned to her, but the rest of the celebration carried on. The music still played, the instruments now shrill and jarring, the voices of men suddenly harsh and cruel. (Y/n) was suddenly overwhelmed by the crowd - their fanged grins and ravenous eyes, the hate and anger that lay in their hearts.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves.” (Y/n)’s lips quivered, but her words rang true. The women at the table looked at her, their mouths working soundlessly.

With no further ceremony, (Y/n) left, walking through the castle, letting the sounds of the Banquet Hall fade behind her. Unsure of where she could clear her racing mind, (Y/n) let her legs take her where they pleased.

She stopped in the middle of the balcony corridor, the gentle wind calming her mind, the moon above reflecting a soft, steady light that played against the stone beneath her. The only sound here was her skirts grazing the floor. The stillness calmed her. She sighed and leaned against the stone wall, turning her face to the inky night sky.

What had angered her? She looked at the stars scattered across the sky and wondered at her own actions. Had it been the ladies questioning who Mordred was? No, people were always questioning from where people hailed. It was a way to understand a person without ever knowing them - it was an easy way to allow comfort when in the presence of a stranger. Had it been them accusing him of being a Druid? Perhaps. But, then again, it was not the Druids that had angered her. What had brought her to stand was the implication of what could befall him if he were, indeed, a part of them.

It was dangerous to be something more than just flesh and blood. For there to be rumors, there had to be doubt - and if there was the smallest ounce of doubt in the hearts of those most adamant in the war against magic…

It was not fair - none of it: the rumors, the fear, the suspicion, the deaths of innocents. There was no crime in being born. There was no evil in having been created with skills that few understood. Nothing was inherently wicked, so then how could magic be persecuted as such?

(Y/n) sighed. Perhaps she cared too much. What good could she do, at the end of the day? Being a magic sympathizer only passed suspicion on those you cared for. Was it wise, then, to speak the way she did, to let her feelings be known?

“(Y/n),” a voice called from the shadows, disturbing the silence that had given the woman peace of mind, only moments before. (Y/n) spun around, feeling guilty, her heart beating louder.

It was Mordred, dressed in a knight’s finest, his expression impassive in the moonlight. (Y/n) calmed when she saw it was him who had called for her, but heat rushed to her face.

“Mordred,” she smiled, despite herself, and the dim light played against the curve of her mouth. “I didn’t hear you come. Is the celebration over, already?”

“No,” he answered, walking over to stand beside her, a respectful distance between the two, “I doubt it’s going to end anytime soon.” (Y/n)’s hands itched to be nearer to his, and she folded them together to occupy them. “But what brought you out here?”

“Some of the women I dined with are not as kind in their hearts as they should be.” (Y/n) gazed into the never ending sky, wondering how the stars burned so bright in such a dark expanse. Did their warmth, too, come from within? Did they see Mordred below and feel the same heat fill them so completely? She couldn’t imagine feeling any other way, in his presence. “They may be at court, but they are not nearly as deserving as others.”

Mordred’s eyes twinkled with mirth, like tiny stars igniting in blue skies, although (Y/n) did not seem to notice, her gaze still searching the night around them. He looked at her admiringly, his eyes tracing the curves and dips of her profile - that serene face that drew him out of himself and towards her.

“None of them have any idea of what it’s like to be an outsider, but their judgements of others are swift and cruel.” She turned to him, hesitant to see his reaction.

(Y/n)’s words, so sincere, so carefully chosen, turned Mordred’s face into something softer - something (Y/n) had only seen once before, but felt like she knew more deeply than anything else. “Nobility knows nothing of the suffering they can inflict.” He held her gaze when he spoke, and his words were a melodious lament - almost a siren’s call, pulling (Y/n) deeper into his depths. He sighed, his eyes averting from her own. “But everyone pays for their soul, in the end.”

“Then let ours be pure of heart while we’re still here.” (Y/n) leaned heavier against the stone before her, her shoulders falling deeper, her forearms bearing her weight. She tilted her head to look at Mordred beside her, and he relaxed in a similar manner.

“This world needs more people with your ideals.” Mordred complimented her and heat flooded (Y/n)’s cheeks. He regarded her with a smile - small and conspiratorial, like a soft embrace.

“You can thank my brother for any beliefs I hold. He was the only man to teach me how to rise above what I am.”

The wind visited them once more, weaving through their hair, twisting Mordred’s cape and twirling (Y/n)’s skirts. (Y/n) leaned into its caress, her eyes closing for a brief moment, her entire being becoming one with the heavens above.

“You’re lucky to have each other. Being alone isn’t easily shaken.” A shadow came over Mordred’s eyes, heavy and dark.

(Y/n) turned to the man beside her, her lips parting as she moved to say something.

She was untimely interrupted by Gwaine calling for her. She held Mordred’s gaze for a moment longer, as though debating whether or not to stay and say something more, but when her brother called again, she obeyed.

vii.

brother, he lives with such gravity. every breath is a gust of wind, every step is a tremor in the earth. he is so heavy on this earthly plane, the world presses down on him as though he were made to carry it upon his shoulders.

and yet, when he is still and the world stops around him, he looks weightless, as though he could fly. and brother, when he soars above me he is an angel out of reach, a dream beyond imagining.

and then he smiles…

is there freedom such as this?

viii.

(Y/n) held her skirts in her hands, running through the castle’s corridors, taking the familiar path to Gaius’ chambers. Weaving in and out of people who were in her way, her mind raced faster than her legs. It was only by luck that the gossip of the servants reached her, and she hadn’t a moment to lose.

The King had gone on a patrol to the Black Mountains that morning, and when they had come back…

The servant’s weren’t clear in what had happened, but Mordred was wounded - carried into Gaius’ chambers by Arthur and Merlin.

To be wounded was one thing; but to be carried into the castle by the King, himself? (Y/n) didn’t know what to think, but she feared the worst. Her heart was beating faster than ever, a drum to which her anxieties chanted inside her skull.

Still running, her feet slapping the stone incessantly, she turned a corner and stumbled headlong into someone walking the opposite way. (Y/n) muttered an apology as she started to dodge the obstacle, but whoever it was moved in her path once more, grabbing her shoulders with a tight grip.

“(Y/n), what’s the matter?”

It was Gwaine, his brows furrowed in worry.

“It’s not me you need to worry about,” she all but snapped, her tone clipped from worry. “Were you with Mordred?”

“He’s with Gaius, now.” Gwaine’s worry started to melt away, seeing his sister unharmed by the day’s events, but (Y/n) shared none of his relief. “He’ll be fine,” Gwaine repeated, trying to reassure her by catching her eye.

“What happened?” Her voice and lower lip shook, her nerves frayed and unable to settle. “I - I heard rumors, and—”

“—And you won’t settle down until you see for yourself. I know.” A smile slowly grew on Gwaine’s face, and he wrapped an arm around (Y/n)’s shoulder, walking with her to Gaius’ chambers. In all their years together he had become the father his younger sister never had, and learned her better than any lesson he had been given in his entire life. Gwaine knew his sister, and he knew she wouldn’t be able to still without absolute confirmation.

He slowed her eager pace, trying to soothe her before she saw what lay within the physician’s chambers.

“So,” he began, a grin already plastered onto his face, “you’re that worried about Mordred?”

(Y/n) felt herself burn from embarrassment.

“Not not, Gwaine. He could by dying!”

Her brother laughed and allowed her to see the knight she fretted over. She rushed to his side, and the pallor in his cheeks made her stomach twist in knots. She brushed his raven hair off of his forehead, feeling his fever. She looked to see if his eyes moved behind his lids or if his chest rose as he breathed inward, but he didn’t seem to respond to life at all. She whispered a prayer under her breath before turning to Gaius, already questioning what was wrong and what could be done.

“There is old sorcery at work - knowledge beyond my understanding.” Gaius’ words were uncertain and he shook his head just slightly, as though he had already concluded the worst. “The Disir were said to be a most sacred court with power unimaginable.”

The Disir. (Y/n) knew their name from stories she had translated from dead languages to that which was spoken, now. If Mordred had been stuck by a force so revered and entrenched in the Old Religion...

“But there could be a cure?” (Y/n)’s tone was adamant in their desperate hope - far more so than her thoughts. Gaius looked at her as though he saw something deep inside her gaze, and eventually conceded.

“Perhaps… in the texts of the Old Religion…”

(Y/n) was out of the physician’s chambers and racing down the hall before he could finish. She had no practical skills in medicine, but she was an archivist. She knew languages and history, and due to her position, she had unlimited access to the Royal Library. If there was an answer between the pages Camelot stored, she would find it and use it to save him.

The candles in the Royal Library burned brighter than usual, lighting the shelves that lay in dark, unused corners. (Y/n) situated herself amongst the shelves she knew had to keep the secrets she so desired, choosing books from the rows. She lost herself in piles of ancient texts, her hands careful and precise as they skimmed down page after page, searching for an answer. Volume after volume was pulled from its resting pace, meticulously scoured, and replaced once more.

Geoffrey of Monmouth allowed the candles to be burned all night long, eventually retiring for the evening and leaving (Y/n) to her search, giving her a fond, supportive squeeze on the shoulder before shuffling away. Servants still gossipped out in the corridors, their voices drifting like ghosts to where she sat. Gwaine came to her before his nightly rounds of the castle began, and found her sitting on the floor, her skirts pooled around her as she continued her search. She was desperate for some kind of news, but Gwaine had none; Mordred’s condition was unchanged and dire, still. Tears threatened her eyes and he had taken the time to embrace her, rubbing her back soothingly, promising her things would be alright.

(Y/n) clung to his faith, feeling the crushing weight of gravity bearing down on her. How could people live with such pain?

She felt herself grow tired. She opened more books. She felt herself grow tired. She flipped more pages. She felt herself grow tired. She sought more answers, feeling them slip through her fingertips - elusive and intangible. She felt herself grow tired.

The candle burned lower until she could no longer feel it’s warmth - until she could no longer see it in her mind’s eye.

In her dreams, she could see pages before her, with drawings of three women in robes of black, with writing that was slanted and almost unable to be read. (Y/n) reached out to grab the page, hold it in her grasp and learn it’s secrets, but her body was heavy like stone, unable to move - unable to save him.

“(Y/n)...” Mordred’s voice called out to her, so full of life, so full of love. She stirred. “(Y/n)...” She moved.

(Y/n)’s eyes opened, and she was lying against a shelf, a volume open on her lap. Light from the morning sun spilled from the nearby window, and when she looked up, she had to blink to believe it was real.

Mordred smiled down at her, his cheeks pink and flushed with beauty, his eyes bright. He was something out of a dream, in that moment, the sun’s rays casting the shadows away from him, bathing him in golden light.

His name slipped from her lips in wonder, and she repeated it once more, euphoria filling her tone with something akin to a song.

“I was told I could find you here.”

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away from him long enough to hide it.

ix.

we could never see it, brother, with our lives painted in such rosy tones, but his world is drenched in stormy, blue waters. it is salt rubbed into wounds and waves battering stone until they erode away. it was not a crucible that forged him, but an ocean that drowned him and left him washed on shore, gasping for breath. brother, his story is one that we whisper at night, voices low in fear of giving those wayward souls power over us all. if he so desired, we could be crushed and left. the crows would pick us clean.

but he looks at me and his ocean eyes cradle me, rocking me back and forth with the tide. and i am safe, in his embrace. i am loved, wrapped in his arms.

and when he smiles…

our story has yet to unfold.

(Y/n) looked at the wares of different vendors, strolling through the streets with no real destination in mind. The day was beautiful, with the sun partially covered with thick clouds, the heat emanating from it just enough to be comfortable and without chill. The people around her were happy, for the most part, their worries few and their good fortune abundant.

There was peace in Camelot, and (Y/n) wished - foolishly, perhaps - that it would last.

Stopping to search for coins to buy a loaf of bread, (Y/n) readjusted the basket she held and a book she had been carrying fell out. Before she could lean down to grab it, the book was already in someone else’s hands, being wiped clean. “I’m sorry about that.” (Y/n) looked up to see who had helped her and found Mordred before her. He had a grin on his face, lopsided and pulled to the left, his teeth just visible beneath his lips.

His sharp eyes were on the small volume before him, reading the title with interest (Y/n) had not thought she would find.

Mordred shrugged off her apology, instead turning his interest to that which he had recovered. “Poetry?” (Y/n) shifted under his teasing gaze. “Is it for the King, perhaps?”

(Y/n) scoffed, well aware of the joke that had been floating through the palace - Merlin and King Arthur learning poetry by candlelight. Was the Queen impressed with her husband’s talents? Leon had been given extra training for two weeks when word of it reached Arthur.

“The King and I have very different tastes in poetry, I believe. He’s more of a romantic.”

Mordred snorted, flipping through the worn pages. “These poems…” Mordred’s eyes flashed with something unreadable, his tone still gentle when he spoke, but his countenance changed nonetheless. “They’re about magic.”

(Y/n) bowed her head, training her eyes at her skirts brushing the ground below.

She had been caught.

It was just literature, and she didn’t believe there was any harm in it. Poetry could not teach her sorcery. The knowledge that lay in those poems were not spells that she could wield against Camelot and those she loved, and yet, she knew, deep down, that such things would not matter to those who would wish to persecute her for harboring such knowledge and allowing it into her home.

“They’re just poems. Just stories written in beautiful languages. There’s no harm in it, only understanding.” (Y/n)’s words were low but spoken with conviction and heart. “I only wish to understand that which I am to fear.”

“And I admire you all the more for it.”

(Y/n) looked up into Mordred’s eyes where she held his tender gaze. Her worries were put to ease by his serenity, and she idly wondered why she has ever been nervous in the first place. Even now, she could look into his gaze and see the kindness that lay deep within his heart. Within those blue eyes, she could see his sympathy for magic, not dissimilar from her own, but more deeply sown. She could see, deep in his soul, that there was something he knew and had not shared.

She wished to tell him she wouldn’t tell a soul. (Y/n) wished to hold Mordred and whisper in his ear that he could bare his entire soul to her and she would regard him the same. She wished to let him know that she knew him deeply and irrevocably, that in those still moments when they walked with one another or locked eyes from across the room, she felt their souls were one and she could not distinguish where one began and the other ended.

“Would you like to hear some?” (Y/n) put her hand on the book lightly, her fingers brushing his, warmth igniting where they touched. “The old way of speaking… it’s beautiful.”

Mordred smiled and she slipped the book out of his hands, starting to leaf through the pages, searching for the right sentiment she was looking for.

He spoke, then, his words soft and with a lyrical lilt, whispered between the two of them. (Y/n) gazed up at him, and it took her a moment to realize that he was reciting a poem - a variation of one of the poems inside the book she had in her hands. She listened to him, allowing his language to captivate her senses and pluck at her heartstrings. The poetry spoke of magic - it’s ubiquitous power and intentionless existence - and how the world, whether it wanted to be or not, was gifted with it.

When he finished, (Y/n) realized that the warmth that had spread through her body had made her lips pull into an expression of awed wonder. She tried to regain control over her features, but Mordred had already seen her beauty and wouldn’t forget it for all his days.

Mordred took (Y/n)’s hands in his and closed the poetry book, placing it back in her basket. “Keep that safe,” he said. “It’s not wise to have poetry about magic in Camelot.”

(Y/n) started to grin, staring up at him challengingly. “And to have it committed to memory? Is that just as guilty?”

Mordred chuckled, but after a moment, his face turned grave. “In Camelot, I believe so.”

“Then Camelot is too harsh with matters of magic.”

Mordred did nothing but nod.

xi.

there is a ferocity deep within him, brother. it has the strength of a bear and the loyalty wolf; baring its teeth and tearing out throats. he keeps it deep within himself, burrowed beneath the ground, hidden amongst the trees.

it is strong, brother, but he is it’s master. he has run with the wolves and become one with the pack. he has faced the bear and made peace with its power. he has a strength inside of him that cannot be changed, and it protects this world from what he could be. and i stare at him, in awe of the power which he possesses within.

and when he smiles…

he is nothing i could not love.

xii.

The forest around them teemed with life - birds singing from the treetops, the undergrowth shaking from the movement of small animals, and the nearby brook babbling. (Y/n) breathed in deeply, the smell of the fresh air clearing her mind and filling her senses with a feeling of calm. Absentmindedly, she fiddled with the bad slung around her shoulder, the books inside of it slapping against her thighs as she rode her horse forward. Mordred, riding alongside her, looked at her from the corner of his eye, but she did not notice his gaze through her pleasant sigh.

They were riding to Carleon - Sir Mordred escorting the Royal Archivist - to meet with the genealogist that worked for Queen Annis. Geoffrey of Monmouth found a discrepancy in their bookkeeping of the old, noble families and needed to compare his records with the other kingdom, but at his age he was far too old to undertake such an adventure - especially at such a critical time in Camelot’s history. (Y/n) had been sent in his place, her expertise growing with every day that passed, the old librarian sharing his knowledge and legacy with the woman so that she might one day succeed him.

It was to be a fairly safe journey. Carleon was an ally of Camelot, and the two kingdoms were not far from one another. King Arthur had allowed Mordred to escort the woman, his warnings minimal - only that Mordred not forget his duty while protecting (Y/n).

Gwaine had been there to see the pair off, teasing (Y/n) of her feelings for the young knight.

“I believe your love life is the one we need to keep an eye on, Gwaine.” Her brother had laughed at that, and she told him to behave while she was gone. The last thing she needed was to worry about him while traveling to another kingdom.

Their journey so far had been a peaceful one. The two had time to talk about all that had happened in Camelot - from the gossip of what happened in the lower towns to the battles that the knights had waged in the name of the King. After that, there had been time to talk about the histories she had been translating and scribing; the worlds that she learned about on weathered pages were vibrant in their age and charming in their customs and habits - all of which had betweitched her, ensnaring her attention.

Mordred had deep interest in what had come before him - those millenia in which magic reigned, free - and (Y/n) was happy to share her passion with someone who listened and cared.

There had been time for them to bask in each other’s presence, to feel their souls intertwine as their paths converged onto the same road. For, in those days, few as they were, Mordred and (Y/n) shared a common destination and their fates were one.

Now, there was less than a two hour ride left, and with the end in sight, (Y/n)’s anxieties started to claw their way into her heart. She closed her eyes and focused on the world in front of her, this forest of bright yellows and deep greens, this sanctuary where she and Mordred were together, close enough to get lost in each other’s eyes for eternity.

“How much do you think Gwaine has worried while we’ve been gone?” (Y/n) smiled at the knight who rode beside her, her tone fighting to be as light and cheerful as the words she spoke. “I saw him talking to you before we left. What did he—”

A high-pitched scream that was not their own erupted into the sky. With a flash of metal, Mordred had unsheathed his sword and was riding for where the sound originated. (Y/n) followed, and when they burst into a clearing, they found it to be full of bandits surrounding an elderly man and his daughter. Without a second thought, Mordred sprung into action.

(Y/n) grabbed a sword from one of the bandits that Mordred felled and joined him in battle, her strikes proper and effective, although unceremonious and without the craft of a true swordsman. Mordred spared her an impressed glance before engaging with the rest of the marauders.

Surprise was their biggest advantage, and the two of them were able to dispose of four of the bandits quickly. The rest of the men ran, reasoning that the spoils weren’t worth the risk involved, now that a knight of Camelot was among them.

After the last of the men disappeared into the trees, (Y/n) dropped the sword she had been using, looking over the scrapes and minor flesh wounds she had received. Mordred walked over to her, his own eyes scanning her for injury, and she reassured him she was fine, her eyes moving to search him.

“Where did you learn to use a sword?”

(Y/n) scoffed, the adrenaline still buzzing through her veins. “Gwaine. Who else would arm a young girl against her will? He said I would need to one day.” A grin tugged at her lips. “I suppose he was right.”

Mordred smiled briefly and the two of them turned to the people who had cried out for help. The elderly man thanked them, taking their young hands in his own and blessing them good fortune for days to come.

“Such kindness is lacking in the world, today, when it is most needed.”

“We are just glad we could be of assistance to you and your daughter.” Mordred dipped his head low, and his voice echoed with past transgressions - moments of his past where he was a victim to circumstance, just as they were. “No one deserves such violence and pain.”

The old man peered at Mordred with years of wisdom, and he squeezed his shoulder like a father would. “You have such good souls”—he looked at (Y/n), as well, with a kind twinkle in his eye—“both of you.”

“Good souls are hard to come by.” (Y/n) agreed, gently. “They’re a rare treasure, indeed.”

Mordred looked at her, his eyes like the sky on a cloudless day. She regarded their bright brilliance with a warm glance and roses of the most vibrant pinks blossomed beneath his cheeks.

Later, after the travelers had gone on their way, and the two were riding for Carleon once more, (Y/n) found the courage to speak something that she had been thinking on for a while, but had only articulated just then.

“Mordred, when we were fighting those bandits…” her words trailed off, but Mordred was patient as he waited for them. “I know we’re only human - average and simple - but when I’m at your side, I feel stronger than that - better, even. It’s almost like…”

Silence didn’t stay between them, long.

“Like you have magic.”

xiii.

brother, we live such violent lives and meet such violent ends, but his life is precious in it’s softness and should never die on the end of a blade. this world has rubbed his edges with stone to sharpen them to fine points, but he wraps himself in soft down and refuses to be changed.

this life he lives deserves to be full, brother, with none of the emptiness that has surrounded him for so long. so much has been taken from him, so much of what he owns has been displaced. and so he holds me as though i am already gone.

but when i am resolute beside him, he smiles…

could the world bear to tear us apart?

xiv.

“All I’m saying is that Mordred is a lucky man to have caught my little sister’s eye.” Gwaine held up his hands in mock defeat as the two of you walked down the castle steps and into the Citadel. “How many people have you turned down over the years? I vividly remember at least three…”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes at her brother’s teasing, quickly shooting back, “And for every person I turn down, you lead another to your chambers.”

Gwaine feigned hurt, but a grin grew on his lips all the same. “I have more honor than that, (N/n).”

“More tact, you mean. If Arthur were to see you—” Gwaine nudged (Y/n) in the side and she laughed good-naturedly, elbowing him right back.

“But, truly, (Y/n). Mordred is a fine knight and if the two of you—”

“Gwaine...” (Y/n)’s face was hot with embarrassment and her brother smiled down at her, affection in his gaze.

“I would be happy, is all” —he tilted his head, then, his lips pulled into a thoughtful frown— “and a bit proud.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “Exactly what I always wanted.” The two laughed, and once the moment sobered, (Y/n) turned to Gwaine, her expression genuine and earnest. “But really, thank you.”

Gwaine put a tender hand on her shoulder, squeezing it strongly. He opened his mouth to say something, but the clapping sound of horse hooves hitting stone caught his attention, and both siblings turned to see who was approaching.

An entire patrol of soldiers burst into the Citadel, many of them leaning over, their expressions drawn in pain and suffering. (Y/n)’s eyes searched frantically until they settled on Mordred, his expression grim and worried, but the rest of him seemingly okay. Gwaine walked over to him and he dismounted, both Knights meeting each other half-way.

“What happened?”

“We were attacked.” Mordred’s blue eyes flashed dangerously. “It was Morgana.”

“And you got away?” (Y/n) walked over to them, her eyes scanning over the injuries that the patrol had sustained. Almost all of them had a bruise or two, some of them with gashes on the head or sides. What had she done?

“It’s the King she wants,” Mordred sighed. “She’s just trying to draw him out.”

Gwaine nodded deftly, his brow furrowing as his entire disposition changed. “I’ll let Arthur know,” he assured Mordred, putting a hand on his arm before leaving.

(Y/n) watched as Mordred turned back to the men behind him, checking their wounds and sending them to Gaius if necessary. She watched his face contort with worry as he passed over each man, his eyes filled with care and legitimate attentiveness to each of their circumstances. The soldiers smiled gratefully at him, as though thanking Mordred for showing them that they were seen. In such a large military, it was easy to get lost in the sea of hundreds; people stopped becoming human and were just another sword in combat, just another body left on the battlefield. But here, under Mordred’s worried gaze, they were human. Bleeding, battered, and bruised people with hearts that were broken and minds that were screaming in the silence.

The love that resided within Mordred was quiet, but (Y/n) could see it from any distance and behind any facade.

When the last soldier was tended to, Mordred made his way over to (Y/n) and she looked at him deeply, with a soft care that made him feel entirely known and wholly loved. “Are you alright?” Her voice was low and pleading, careful but firm. “Morgana didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m alright.”

(Y/n) looked at him, her eyebrows still furrowed as she searched his expression for something to tell her the contrary. Finding nothing, she sighed and reached out to embrace him, holding Modred close to her beating chest.

He melted against her slowly, then all at once. His arms moved to wrap around her more securely and she responded to his touch, her hand getting lost in his hair. The pair stayed like that, enveloped in each other’s arms, until their hearts synced together and beat as one.

“Things happen so quickly Mordred,” she spoke without pulling away, her breath hot against his ear, “I don’t want you to be someone that passes by without me ever telling you how much you mean to me.”

Mordred hugged her tighter, until he felt he couldn’t breathe from her love. “Nothing can happen to me while I have you to live for.”

(Y/n) pulled away slowly, her eyes questioning whether or not he meant what he said. Mordred’s smile was in full bloom, adoration and love pouring out from him with no end in sight. She stared into his deep, blue eyes and her question died before ever making its way to her lips.

xv.

brother, you could never understand how the world has wronged us all and the poets exist only to make amends, but when i feel his heart against mine, i know it to be true. this existence is strife and heartache and nails tearing into flesh, but there is consolation in the arms of a lover and there is peace in their kiss.

and, brother, you may not understand his depths, but my lover is good. despite how he bleeds and breaks, he is whole when he lays beside me, his hands lacing with mine, his features carved by the artist we know as Time.

and when he smiles…

is there love that could rival mine?

xvi.

His lips were rough against her own, hot and wanting, pushing all thoughts that weren’t of him to the recesses of her mind. His arms were steady as he held her, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other planted firmly on her waist, pressing her against him. She kissed him back with equal fervor, her hands trailing up his chest as they reached for his dark hair, thick and soft beneath her fingertips.

She kissed him deeply once more before parting to take a breath, her forehead resting on his, their noses bumping together, gently. Mordred’s eyes fluttered open and the world was extended to (Y/n), begging her to take it in her soft hands and make something beautiful from it’s fraying edges and tattered bits.

She didn’t know how to tell the world that it was already beautiful, when she looked through his eyes and saw its glory reflected there. If everything could be crafted in his mind’s eye this existence could be a much softer way of living.

“I love you,” she breathed the words, and even though they were her own, they made her heart race in her chest. She could feel his speed up as well, and placed a hand over his chainmail, where she knew his heart lay beneath.

Mordred sighed, “And I love you.” Their lips connected for one sweet, brief moment, and when their eyes met once more, he was smiling, his iris’ twinkling with the light of the sun. “I could love you for the rest of my days and it wouldn’t be enough.”

(Y/n) giggled at his charming words, unable to contain the love that filled her so completely. He kissed her again and it felt like a cloud - downy and warm, like what she imagined heaven to be like. For a fraction of a moment, his lips hovered over her own, and it was she who chased after them, her lips divine as they pressed against his.

A knock at the door pulled them apart, and Mordred looked at her with sympathy, unwilling to pull away from her embrace, not wanting to venture into the night when all of his world was right here, in front of him.

(Y/n) put a hand to his cheek, rubbing the smooth skin with her thumb. “Be careful out there, Mordred.” Her voice was still ragged, her breathing slowly finding its normal state, and the sound of it pushed on his resolve, begging him to stay.

“I promise.” He kissed her once more, and when he walked out the door, sword in hand and a smile on his face, she believed him.

xvii.

and when the sun has not yet come up and he is wrapped in my embrace, he is mine.

#merlin bbc #merlin #mordred #mordred merlin #bbc mordred #x reader #reader insert #imagine #one shot #fic #long fic #fem!reader #fluff

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it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream · 5 years ago

Text

Mr. I want suck your blood - Pt 4

Warning: Mentions of violence and Swearing

Word count: 2,451

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In stories, Soulmates were meant to be the real deal. They were forever. They were two individuals who were brought together by the universe so their lives finally made perfect sense.

You'd never heard of Soulmates ‘Taking a break’ or ‘Splitting up,’ it wasn't something that happened. That’s not what happened in the stories.

Thats just the thing though. Life isn't a story. Life’s a bitch.

Y/N POV

It had been 1 Hour 19 minutes and 45 seconds since Carlisle shattered your world. 1 Hour, 22 minutes and 23 seconds since you had ripped out your IV line and stormed out of the Cullen house. 1 Hour, 28 minutes and 15 seconds, since Carlisle Cullen, your SOULMATE, decided to call it quits.

Carlisle’s words were still ringing in your ears. “It’s safer this way.” or “Now you can live a normal human life.” You felt numb.

-1 Hour, 19 minutes and 45 seconds ago-

You looked up as you saw Carlisle standing in the wooden door frame. You smiled and placed a hand on your fast beating heart relieved to see him unscathed. Bella had swiftly exited the room. It was just the two of you now. You could tell straight away that something was wrong. Your heart started racing again.

You sat there and listened, as Carlisle took your hand and proceeded to shatter your world. He’d decided that being together, it was too dangerous. He couldn't put you in danger again, couldn’t watch you bleed in his arms again. You both argued. It was his over protective nature, that was the cause of this.

“What about Bella and Edward? She’s still human?!” Apparently it was an invalid argument. Invalid my ass. He wouldn't budge. He thought some time apart would be for the best, even if saying it did secretly pain him.

You were angry, so angry that you ripped out your own IV, not without gagging of course. The screaming and arguing drew the attention of the rest of the Cullen household. Bella was trying to calm you down and stop your arm from bleeding, while Edward and Esme were talking to Carlisle.

You didn't care anymore. How dare he. How could he do this to you? You didn't ask for this life. You'd been dragged into it head first. You'd accepted him for all he was. Before all of this you WERE a normal teenager, with normal teenage problems!

You didn't want normal anymore. You wanted Carlisle, the Volturi, wolves and blood singers. You wanted it all, but just like that, he took it away.

You hadn't wasted any time running through the house, past Alice, Rose and Jasper and to your car. You say run, more like fast walked, your legs were still jelly from lying in bed the last couple of days. Alice had tried to stop you on the way out but Jasper told her to let you go, he could feel the pain and anger radiating of you in waves.

The first thing you did when you got to your car was check your glove box for cigarettes. You got in and slammed the door, you could see Carlisle fighting to try and get passed Edward and Emmett but they wouldn't let him out. You looked over to see Bella running toward your car. You waited. She jumped in the passenger side and neither of you spoke a word. You didn't have to. You started the engine and it came to life with a roar, you peeled out of the Cullen’s drive way with tears streaming down your face and a cigarette between your lips. You fucking hated Forks.

Bella had made you pull over halfway home, scared the tears were clouding your vision. She was probably right, the road ahead did look quite blurry. You traded places and carried on towards home. She was talking to you but you weren't really listening, just watching the trees speed past in a blur, you were sure you could see other objects moving beside you through the trees just as fast, but blinked and they were gone.

-2 weeks later-

Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj blared through the speakers on repeat, you sat staring blankly at your sketchpad, no inspiration, no drive.. nothing. It had been like this for two weeks. Bella had apparently been the same, but you just couldn't shake it. You'd shut yourself off from everyone. Only coming out of your room to get food and use the bathroom. You felt numb.

You could tell your Mom and Charlie were starting to worry. They'd tried to talk to you, find out whats wrong. All they knew is someone broke your heart bad. You'd started having nightmares the first night you were without Carlisle. They felt like more than nightmares though, so vivid, almost like premonitions. You'd wake up still screaming in a cold sweat clutching your chest and crying. Crying for everything you lost when Carlisle let you go. You'd never been in love before and if it felt like this then you never wanted to be again. You didn't think you could love again.

You were spaced out, the music was still playing in the background but your mind was somewhere else, another thing that had been happening since the accident. You just went places, like you were daydreaming, lost in a trance. This time was different though. It was if you were actually there, watching things unfold, only when you came to you were in your bedroom, your paints scattered everywhere, your sketchbook now covered in imagery. You gasped and flew back from your desk, the page awash with shades of vibrant red and black. You gagged. Blood….. and a symbol, it was an emblem of some sort. You shook your head and closed the book on the now dry paints.

What the fuck.

It happened a few more times after that. The spacing out, coming back to earth having drawn on something or once, even scratched symbols into your desk. You'd practically stopped sleeping. Too many thoughts in your head. Even Bella was getting worried, she knew what it was like to spiral and you were doing it at 100mph. She’d suggested talking to Carlisle but you shouted at her for even bringing him up. He left you and hadn't made any attempt to contact or see you. Why give him the satisfaction.

You'd decided enough was enough. You had to start living your life again, or at least thats what you tried to tell yourself. Today you were going to see Seth. You’d become quite close friends with Seth since getting involved in the whole supernatural side of life but you'd been shutting him out for weeks, he knew what had happened with Mr I want to suck you blood, but he didn't ask questions, which you were grateful for. You thought it would do you some good to get outside and breath in the fresh air. You couldn't wallow in self pity any longer.

It felt weird to be in normal clothes rather than ratty old pyjamas. You parked up, jumping out of your car, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. You had brought your sketchbook with you, you didn't know who to talk to about these things, so you were going to show one to Seth, just to see if he recognised anything.

You couldn't help but breath deeply as the air floated off the salty sea and toward your face. You smiled as you watched Seth running down the beach. His boyish grin was charming and his smile grew as he got closer to you. He wrapped you in a hug and you hugged back desperate for a bit of normalcy.

“Hey Seth,” You grinned, thankful for a bit of human, well in this case werewolf, connection. Yeah you had Bella.. and Alice had tried to stop by from time to time, but at the minute they were just a constant reminder of him….

“Y/N! I missed you, things have been so strange without seeing you around ya know!” You bumped his shoulder as you walked down the beach. It had been strange. You'd moved to Forks, got involved with Vamps and the supernatural and in all this time you'd never had any normal time to yourself, or with a friend.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, you know the whole…. thing…” He just nodded his head. You didn't have to explain, he was just happy you were there now.

You'd spent hours just walking and talking on the beach. While walking you had bumped into some of the others as well, Sam, Paul…. You got along with them too, but they had never agreed with your relationship. They seemed somewhat more comfortable around you now. Catching up was good, you felt a lot lighter when you walked, your heart a little less heavy, he was still in the back of your mind though, as much as you tried to think about anything else.

There was an abandoned fire pit a little further up from where you'd been talking with the others, logs surrounded the ashy mound, placed out like small earthy benches. You'd been collecting odd pieces of wood on the way, expecting to find it there. Yourself and Seth pilled the kindling high and he started a fire, he didn't really need to because of his heat, but it was still fun. As Seth continued the fire you reached around and grabbed your leather backpack, opening the zip and fishing inside for your paint covered sketchbook. He came to sit beside you as you started flicking through the pages. You tried to glance at him from the corner of your eye to read his expressions.

“Y/N, these are pretty amazing, and… somewhat scary…” He looked at the book and then back at you. “What are they?” His finger traced the images and the symbols.

You shook your head and flicked through the pages more rapidly. “I don't know S, I…if I tell you something you have to promise you wont tell anyone, not even Sam, not even Jake….” You gulped and looked up at him. He looked confused. You faltered a little, getting nervous you shut your book and started to shove it in your bag. “This was stupid, I should go…” You stood up trying to leave but Seth grabbed your hand.

“I wont tell, you can trust me I promise.” You relaxed, still hesitant, you sat back down. You took the sketchbook back out and went to the first page, tracing the symbols and images, remembering how clearly you had seen them in your mind.

“I drew these. But I didn’t, at the same time.” Seth just looked even more confused now. “I think…. I think something happened to me when I was bitten S…. Something I cant explain. This symbol, I drew this, sat at my desk, one minute the sky outside was light, the next thing I knew it was dark, and the once blank page was covered in all these drawings!” You flicked through the book and sighed placing your head in your hands. He probably thought you were crazy. You sure felt crazy.

You felt his hand rest on your back as you hunched over sighing. “Y/N I’m a wolf, The Cullen’s are Vampires… crazier things have happened, i’ve just never heard of this crazy happening yet….”

You peaked at him from your hands. “Do you know what any of the symbols mean? I see them in my dreams as well, it’s like i’m watching a movie in my head, it’s like I'm there but no one can hear me or see me.. It feels so real.” You sit up, flicking through the pages, before you can turn to the next, Seth’s hand comes flying down stopping the process as he points to one of the symbols.

“Y/N, I’ve seen that symbol before… I think it’s something to do with the cold ones.. the Volturi to be exact.” You groan. This cant be fucking happening. Not only were you dumped now you were having freaky Volturi dreams as well? You searched in your bag for your cigarettes, you held the packet out to Seth and he surprisingly took one. You grinned.

“Wow Sethy never took you for the rebel type.” He ruffled your hair and you shoved him. “Seriously though what am I going to do, this shouldn't be happening i’m human, I didn't turn, Carlisle made sure of that.” You couldn't hide the bitter tone in your voice.

“I don’t know what it means Y/N, but I promise we will figure it out.. cant you talk to Cull…” You glared at him before he could finish his sentence. “Never mind, stupid idea, ignore me.” You laughed and you both carried on looking through the book. What the hell did this mean?

It was late now, Seth walked you to your car, his body still close to keep you warm, the sea breeze now icy cold on your skin. You sighed, part of you didn't want to leave, it was the first kind of normal you'd felt in a really long time, even before coming to Forks. Life in your old place had been really hard, You didn't fit in anywhere, you could count your friends on one hand and you had a strange relationship with your bio dad. You thought things would get easier, Forks had the smallest population and yet you managed to find yourself smack bang in the middle of all this drama, you'd thank Bella for that later. You thought it would be easier living here, maybe you were wrong.

You turned, looking at Seth as you reached your car, you were about to tell him you'd had a nice time, ask him if he wanted to hang out again soon, but you couldn't speak. The waves sounded louder, the air around you felt thicker and you couldn't breath. You could hear Seth’s muffled voice in the background somewhere and a pair of arms shaking you but in your head you were somewhere else entirely.

Cloaks of black floating across the white pearlescent snow, rivers of red blood flowing all around. Wicked eyes staring into yours, and then pain.

You screamed and grabbed your head, it felt like someone had jabbed it with a white hot poker. Images flashed before your eyes, Volturi, Snow, Red, Carlisle. You gagged, so much blood, so much pain. Then, nothing.

Your mind went dark, no images now, no sound, just the sharp ache as you feel your body shut down and hit the solid ground, then the coldness surrounded you.

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Hey guys! I’m sorry it took so long for me to post another part! Hope you enjoy reading x Please comment if you'd like to be tagged!

PT 5 -------- HERE

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pretend-writer · 4 years ago

Text

Down Below (Chapter 67)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2.6k words

Warning: mention of death, mention of violence, swearing

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

It was hard to believe in second chances after all I’ve done down at the bunker. Despite telling myself over the past few years that what I did was for Wonkru and to support Octavia, I knew in my heart that it was a shitty thing to do.

But here I stood next to Bellamy as we looked out the window of Eligius IV, staring at our possible new home that Monty researched for us all these years we were in cryo sleep.

‘Monty did all of this... for us...’ Bellamy mumbled to himself, looking at the new planet in awe. ‘This...’

‘This is amazing.’ The words slipped out of my mouth, enjoying the beautiful view we had from up this ship. Who would’ve known that Earth wasn’t the only livable place in the universe? By the way it seemed, the planet full of green life, it was habitable for humans. But we wouldn't know for sure until we get to the ground.

‘Yeah, I’m really excited actually. I don’t know a life outside this ship.’ Jordan grinned widely, ‘Also, it’s nice meeting you two finally. Monty and Harper talked a lot about you guys.’

It was crazy to think that Monty and Harper had a child, but it was more insane to think that they were both gone. Instead of going to cryo, they’ve decided to live the rest of their lives together.

They had their own family, finally had a life away from war and lived in peace. Now that I think about it, it sounded so beautiful. I knew that Monty and Harper were happy together, they deserved all of that and more.

‘Y/N, before I log off from my final video...’ Monty smiled through the camera, ‘I want to thank you for taking care of Jasper. I always wonder if I tried hard enough, he’d still be with us today. Because of everything you’ve done for him, I know that all that happened at the bunker wasn’t the real you, I truly believe that. Even though you did scare me.’

‘Throughout the times from when we landed on Earth to now, you’ve always done what’s best for everyone. That’s all that matters in the end. I hope that on this planet, we can all do better and look out for each other.’ Monty smiled one last time, ‘I believe in you guys. May we meet again.’

‘May we meet again.’ Bellamy and I whispered as Monty logged out of the video. The tears streamed down my face, not being able to process that Monty wasn't with us anymore.

He was the one that gave me hope; after dealing with Mount Weather, Monty was the one that made me realize that I had to push through to be an asset again. He pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I'd ever leave. He even realize that Skafaiya had changed, that I was being better.

If it wasn't for him, reassuring that I can do better I would of never realized what I've become and all that bad that I've done. I should be thanking him for that, I wish I thanked him before we parted ways.

'Who else should I wake up?' Jordan asked sweetly. 'My dad programmed cryo to wake us up but not the others.'

My dad. Wow I could never get used to that, I thought to myself. I wish I was able to congratulate Monty and Harper, except it happened a hundred years ago.

'We can't wake everyone, it'll be chaotic. We can get the people who can go down and help us search around. Starting with Shaw, the pilot.' Bellamy nodded, he turned to me and flashed a smile.

I shrugged, not really in the mood to talk to him. After what Raven had told me about Bellamy and Echo, I didn't know if I was able to stand him. 'Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.'

'You okay, Reyes?' Bellamy reached for me to hold his hand, except I took a step back. He cocked his head, confused. Last time I saw him, we were in good terms and wanted to start over again. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' I avoided his eye contact as I left the room. Bellamy followed me into the cryo room, not saying a word as he tried to give me space.

I'd rather not wait and instead, tell him the whole truth about what I knew about The Ring. The problem was the fact that he was acting as if nothing happened, as if he didn't kiss another girl while he was in space. Bellamy made me feel bad about the bunker when the fact was that he was hiding things from his at-the-time girlfriend.

As I worked the cryo machine, I woke up the people we needed to venture down with on the new planet. Each person popped out of cryo, slowly waking up as if they were just taking a short nap.

'No, not her.' Bellamy rested his hand on mine, stopping me from pressing the button. 'We can't wake Octavia up.'

'Why not? Are you still scared of her?'

'If someone is already living on this planet, we don't want Blodreina fucking everything up.'

'Well, if someone is actually down there and if they happen to be savages, don't we need someone who can fight?' Murphy walked towards us, giving me a hug from the side. 'Just saying.'

Bellamy rolled his eyes, didn't know if it was from John being close to me or the fact that he was told what to do about his sister. 'I'm not taking that risk. I'm sure we will be fine ourselves.'

'Alright, you're the boss.' John dropped the conversation, quickly turning to me. 'Can I talk to you, Y/N?'

'Yeah, of course.' I nodded, smiling at him before he walked away.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Bellamy staring at me. I could tell that he was confused, maybe a bit jealous too. With all that's happened, I didn't know whether to feel bad or let him be. Either way, I left the room.

Following Murphy out of the cryo room, he led me to the hallway. 'I missed you. Even though it feels like I just saw you 10 minutes ago.'

I giggled, feeling butterflies like I did when I kissed him before we headed to cryo sleep. 'To be fair, it's been over hundred years.'

'And yet, your shot wound hasn't healed.' John pointed at my leg, 'Saw you limping earlier.'

'Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm always fine.' I smiled. Wanting to get everything out the way, I decided to talk to him about the obvious topic we had to discuss. 'I haven't told Bellamy by the way.'

He nodded, 'I figured. It's okay, there's no need to rush it.'

'But I feel bad, I don't want it to be a secret or anything.'

'Don't feel bad because whatever we have, it's worth it. I don't mind the mystery either. Besides, sneaking around is kind of a turn on.'

This feeling I had for him felt so right, so nostalgic; felt way better than feeling pressured by Bellamy to be different and to feel bad about who I was. I didn't have to pretend with John, we knew each other majority of our lives and he understood what I've been through.

What I didn't understand was why all this time, Bellamy guilted me about the years I spent in the bunker when he had secrets he was keeping from me.

Jackson suddenly rushed towards me and Murphy, looking at me as if he was very stressed. 'Jackson, what's wrong?'

'We're prepping Kane for surgery. He's awake and somewhat stable for now but-' He paused, I could tell he was scared of my reaction.

'What?'

'Kane wants to see you.'

My heart dropped, not expecting to see Marcus at all. Last time I saw him, he was unconscious and when I spoke my final words to him back at Polis, I said some pretty mean stuff.

'Can I just see him after surgery?'

'Bellamy is preparing with Clarke to go check out the new planet and he told me you're going with. Also with Kane's condition, we're afraid he might not make it.'

'You should go see him, Y/N.' John tapped my arm, 'I can come with you if you'd like.'

Marcus' condition? How bad was his injuries? I knew that one of Abby's patients attacked him but I didn't know it was this critical. No matter how much pain he brought me after all the betrayals, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

'I'll be okay.' I faked a smile to John, but instantly he knew I was lying.

He didn't push it though, instead he nodded in return. 'Let me know if you need me.'

'Thank you, John.' I said before I followed Jackson into a room. Raven, Abby and Bellamy looked up as the door opened for Jackson and I.

'What is she doing here?' Abby growled, staring at me as if I came to kill Marcus myself. 'She's going to trigger him and make his condition worse than it already is.'

'Kane personally asked for her. I think he has a right to see her, Abby.' Jackson replied back, 'We should give them some privacy.'

Raven nodded, 'I agree. We'll be right outside if you need us Y/N.'

'Thanks.' Raven and Jackson left the room, Abby still glaring at me as she stood next to Kane laying on the bed.

'I'm not going anywhere Y/N. I don't trust you for-'

'It's okay Abby. Give us some space, I need to speak to her.' Marcus spoke up, putting his hand on hers. 'We will be fine.'

Abby huffed as she headed to the door. 'If anything happens to him, it's on you.'

Bellamy looked at me with sad eyes, I guess he understood my situation with me and Marcus after I told him before he got into the fighting pit; sorry flushed across his face.

He reached for my hand but I quickly swept it away, I didn't even mean to do it. 'I-I want to be alone with him if that's okay, Bellamy?'

'Ah. Sure.' Bellamy whispered, scratching his temple as he left the room.

I slowly walked over to Marcus' bed, holding my breath. I didn't know what to say or what to feel after everything that had happened.

'How are you?' He whispered, not being able to speak loudly. The patient had stabbed Marcus on his neck, causing him to lose a lot of blood.

'I should be the one asking you that.' The bloody bandage on his neck scared me a little, I've never seen him so helpless.

'Physically, I can tolerate this pain but emotionally I'm not okay.' Marcus' voice cracked, 'I'm sorry for what I did to you.'

'What are you sorry about exactly?' I didn't mean to sound petty, I genuinely needed to know if I was ready to forgive him. It hurt that someone I love so much turned his back on me, but it was hard to keep hating him also.

Marcus paused, carefully turning his head toward me. His eyes started to water and he lightly whimpered. 'About everything, monkey.'

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold my tears in. It made me feel sad for him, but for what? He betrayed me not once but twice; The first time in the bunker after he never believed that Abby blackmailed me and when he turned against Wonkru to work with Diyoza.

His betrayal made me angry but it made me even more upset at myself for still caring for him. Just like he told me at the fighting pit, I tried to stop him for a reason. And that reason was that no matter how much pain he put me through, I cared for him.

'You know, Octavia came to me and told me what happened when the Dark Year began. That Abby had told you to shoot those people. I didn't want to believe that someone I love did those things to you. I also couldn't believe what I saw when you shot and killed Wonkru.'

'But you chose her over me, even when I came up to you about Abby. All those years you took her side and left me in the dark, made it mine and Octavia's fault that the Dark Year happened.'

'I know... I know...' He breathed, 'I just didn't want to admit that Abby would do that. I saw what you did and I didn't wanted to believe that she was behind all of this.'

'So you were okay with blaming me and not her?'

'No, I wasn't. Not at all.' Marcus held his breath, gently wiping his tears that were streaming down his face. 'I was confused, I felt like everything was falling apart. I chose the easy way out, turned you into an enemy. I never even considered how you felt at all.'

It made me mad, knowing that he knew he was wrong for blaming everything on me. All I wanted was a hug, an "I love you" or just any support from him. 'You made my life a living hell.'

'I know Y/N, I know.' He reached for my hand, his hand shaking from weakness. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

Leaning in closer to him, I felt his touch on my cheek. It's been a long time since I've been this close to Marcus. 'I was just a kid, I was scared what Abby was going to do to Octavia. She had a gun... and I knew her drug problems and I-'

'I'm sorry, Y/N.' Kane sobbed, caressing my cheek. 'I'm sorry.'

Gently and carefully, I wrapped my arms around Marcus. Making sure not to put my whole weight on him, I hugged him as I buried my face into his chest. Tears fell down my eyes, staining Marcus' shirt with tears which added to the blood stains from his injuries.

'I just wanted you to believe me, that's all I wanted.'

'I'm sorry.' Marcus repeated over and over again. 'I'm proud of you okay? For overcoming this without me, without Bellamy or your sister.'

'Octavia was with me. She helped me through everything.'

'Oh, baby.' He shook his head, holding me tightly as he can with all the strength he had left in him. 'Why did I do this to you again? I told myself after what happened at the Ark, I wouldn't ever do anything to lose you again... Why... why?'

Even though I hated that he took Abby's side, it must've been hard for him to see her in that way. I can never justify or maybe even forgive him when he turned his back on me but I can understand the confusion he must of had.

Everyone knows I was not innocent in this at all. Not at all, not even close.

'Thank you, for apologizing.' I mumbled into his chest, hugging him a little bit longer.

'No, thank you for even coming to talk to me.'

Taking a deep breath, I recollected all my thoughts. I tried to wipe my tears off of his shirt but it all sank in. 'Sorry your shirt is wet now.'

Marcus laughed lightly, shaking his head. 'Don't worry about it. I need a new one anyway.'

Placing my hand on his cheek, I wiped his tears. 'Don't leave me again.'

'I'll try not to.'

'No, promise me you won't. You can't leave me again. Not after all that's happened.'

He looked at me, smiled as he nodded. 'Okay. I promise Y/N.'

Nodding in return, I gave him a kiss on his forehead. 'For good luck.'

'Thank you, monkey.'

'May we meet again.'

Marcus smiled once again, 'I'll see you soon kiddo.'

#bellamy blake x reader #the 100 rewrite #the 100 series #down below series #bellamy blake series #raven reyes x sister!reader #the 100 fic #bellamy blake

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neeswords · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader

Requested?: no

Word count: 2393

Authors notes: I hope you enjoy it. If you would like a personalised one please do ask! have fun reading! I have also a promt list :)

Trigger warning(s): bad language

Summary: Y/N have been partners for a while now and Adam has this new girlfriend who doesn't get along with Y/N. It causes a wedge between them.

Promt: (6) "You were suppose to be my friend. That's all... that's all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care."

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You and Adam have been partners for nearly 2 years now and it feels like everything has reached rock bottom. You were in intelligence before Adam, he joined about 6 months after you did. When he came you welcomed him straight away. You had an instant bond. You and Adam had this promise; whenever there was a bad case you would both deal with it together, you wouldn't suffer alone. And that's what you did, you leaned on each other. After a bad case you'd both go to mollys and have a beer and talk. Its what made you great partners. It comforted both of you. Just each other's presence was enough.

Adam has started dating this girl called Paige. You've met her a couple times at mollys and it is safe to she that she despises you. At first she was so sweet, she came over to you and introduced herself and was so polite. Then she saw you and Adam laughing together and from that moment she decided to not like you. You had to be okay with it. She made Adam happy and all you care about is Adams happiness. You just wish Adam would still be there for you. You missed him.

You'd just finished a very quiet shift with Adam and the team and all of you decided to head to mollys. Once you arrived Paige was already sat there waiting for Adam. You didn't want things to be awkward so you went to the other side of the bar. "Stella can I have a beer please" you smiled at her. "Coming right up" she said enthusiastically. Stella always gave off a good vibe, she just makes everyone smile. She gave you your beer and then went to talk to Severide. You were sat at the corner of the bar alone. You were tempted to leave but you didn't want people questioning why. "Detective Y/L/N I haven't seen you in a minute how are you" you looked up for your eyes to meet with Chief Bodens. You smiled " Chief hi, I'm good thank you! How have things been at 51?" You and the chief sat and had a convocation about life and work. You kept glancing over at Adam he was with the rest of the team. They loved Paige so what could you do? "Why aren't you with them?" Boden curiously asked. You didn't know how to answer so you picked up your beer and drank. Boden just looked at you. You were trying to form the words to say that you missed Adam but instead your emotions took over. Your throat got tight and you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes. You looked up, trying to make sure they wouldn't fall. You were too late they were already streaming down your face. You looked back at Boden "I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm crying, I'm just tired I promise." You said with your voice slightly breaking. Boden gave you a small smile and placed a hand around your shoulder. "51 will always be here for you. Any time. You and Ruzek are close why don't I call him over and—" "no" you quickly interrupted the chief. "I mean thank you Chief it means a lot but I'm fine really, I'm just gonna head home and sleep." You said with the best smile you could put on. The chief looked confused but he understood that you didn't want to talk "goodnight Y/L/N." He softly said.

Once you got home you lost it. You fell down against your door and just cried. You were loosing Adam. No you had lost him. You felt betrayed and alone. You had no one to talk to. Adam hasn't spoke more than 2 words to you since he met Paige. It really hurt you. You then did what you told Boden. You went to sleep.

You must have been asleep for about 2 hours when you hear a knock at your door. You put on a robe and went to the door. You reluctantly opened it to find Jay Halstead. Other than Ruzek you were close with jay. He trusted you and you trusted him. You had a great friendship. "Hey" he said softly with a little smile. "Hey" you replied whilst moving to the side so he could come in. "Is everything okay?" You asked. Jay just looked at you. "Y/N we saw you at the bar. Once you left me and Atwater went to speak to the chief he said to check in on you. I should be asking you if you're okay." You didn't answer instead you went and grabbed a glass of water. "Want one?" You asked jay. He shook his head. "Y/N/N come on talk to me. You know I'm here for you. You're family. You've been here for me since you joined. So let me be here for you" he said with a smile. "Jay nothings wrong really I just— I— er— ugh" you took another mouthful of water hoping that it would turn into vodka so you'd never have to answer. "I miss Adam" you blurted out. Jay looked at you and said " what do you mean you miss him? You saw him today" jay then looked liked he solved a case and his answer was "ohh". You looked at him puzzled. "You're jealous of Paige" Jay teased. You rolled your eyes "I am not" you immediately and defensively said ."sure" jay laughed and gave you a quick hug. "Y/N he's fooling nobody but himself if he thinks that Paige is the one for him. The whole of Chicago knows that you two are meant to be. Try talking to him. Just tell him you miss him" jay suggested. You pulled back from the hug "jay I don't like him in that way, I just miss how things used to be between us. And it doesn't help that Paige hates me" Jay burst into a fit of laughter. "Damn you are both foolish you are in loveee. And please, let Paige hate you! Name one of us who actually like her."Jay then got a call from Will asking for him to pick him up from the hospital. Once he left you decided to head back to bed.

The next morning you stopped off at a coffee shop before heading into work. Ruzek was at the door of the district waiting. You predicted that he was waiting for Voight. You went to walk straight past him when he stopped you and said "really? Not even a good morning? Wow she was right about you" Ruzek mumbled the last part but you still heard. You were confused to say the least. "Excuse me?" You turned and asked him. "What the hell is going on with you. What was last night about? You went and sat on your own you didn't even make an effort with Paige. She's getting offended by all of this nonsense you know. Then Halstead rang me last night you know." Adam then got this pissed off look on his face. "YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE ME ALONE AND SAD DONT YOU. YOU TELLING JAY PAIGE HATES YOU. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOS BEEN A BITCH. YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT RUDE TO PAIGE. THE MESSAGES YOU SENT HER WHERE EXTREME BUT NOW KEYING HER CAR! YOU'VE GONE TO FAR! HOW WAS I EVER CLOSE WITH YOU?!" You had never seen Adam this angry before. You had no idea what he was going on about but he clearly had no interest in listening to you. You didn't say a word, you just walked into the district. You didn't bother saying good Morning to Trudy, which is something you always do. You just walked straight up to intelligence. You didn't want to face anyone so you just went straight to the locker room. You couldn't cry, that's what started this. So you just stared at a locker. You snapped out of it and looked up to see Jay stood at the door. "Y/N I'm—" you instantly barged passed him.

You made your way to your desk and just sat down clearly in a mood. Voight then came out his office announcing that we have a case. "Ruzek and Y/L/N I want you both at the crime scene see what you can find. The rest of you talk to your CI's see what you can find. You rolled your eyes and made your way to your car. Adam got into the passenger side without saying a word. You both sat there silently. You arrived at the scene, you couldn't take it you had to say something. "Adam I don't know what you think I did but I didn't. Last night was uncalled for you're right. I should have made an effort i just— I didn't want to bother you. I was sat with Boden just having a convocation I don't know what came over me I was just tired that's the only reason I cried. But do you know what else Is uncalled for? You talking to me like that. You were suppose to be my friend. That's all... that's all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care. I don't want you to be alone and I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm so sorry. You said with your voice breaking. You didn't wait for Adams response you just got out the car and viewed the scene. You got what you needed and went back to the car. You faced another silent ride back.

Once you got back to the district Adam immediately got out your car. You stayed in there to have a moment alone. After about 10 minutes you got out. You went to walk past Trudy when she stopped you. "Detective a word". You went to her. She looked at you and said "are you okay?" You nodded and made your way upstairs. You had reached your limits. You didn't know what to do anymore. You felt like you had no one. Adam wasn't there you had no idea where he went.

You were going through some possible suspects when Adam comes upstairs with Paige. He had to be joking right? Jay immediately looked at you. 'Y/N you are a detective for goodness sake grow some balls and stand your ground' you thought to yourself. "Paige can I have a word please" you finally built the courage to say. "Y/N whatever you have to say ,you can say it in front of everyone." She bitchily replied. "Fine" you mumbled. You were about to loose it. "I don't know what I did to piss you off. I really don't. But I am tired of this bullshit. I've apparently been nothing but rude to you so you know what I'll live up to it. YOU ARE FULL OF NOTHING BUT BULL. SO IVE APPARENTLY KEYED YOUR CAR, BEEN RUDE TO YOU. DID I MURDER YOUR FAMILY TOO? Paige I'm tired of this tell him the truth." You said. Out of the corner of your eye you could see jay smirking. Voight was also in the room so you expected him to say something but he didn't. "I-I" was all Paige said when Adam stepped in. "Paige I brought you up here to apologise to Y/N." Paige turned to Adam with her mouth wide open. "Well go on then" was all Adam said. She flicked her hair and left. On her way out she shouted "Adam you and I are over!" Adam just smiled.

You were still so mad at him so you left the room too. You walked into the locker room. You just sat on a bench with your head in your hands. You felt someone's presence walk in. You then felt a hand on your back. You looked up to see Adam. "I'm surprised you didn't start swinging fists out there" he joked. You weren't in the mood to laugh but you still cracked a smile. You looked at Ruzek "Adam I'm sorry, I reall—" he interrupted you by crashing his lips onto yours. You were so mad at him but you couldn't resist him. You kissed back. Your lips moved in perfect sync when eventually you pulled away. You looked at him and he still has his eyes closed. "Screw it" you mumbled. You straddled him and placed your lips back on him. You were both sat making out on a bench in the locker room. After a while you pulled away. "Adam I don't think we can go back to being friends. It's too complicated" Adam smirked "good i don't want to be your friend" he said then pecked your lips. He laughed at your puzzled face. "Your little speech to me in the car hurt me. I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. You have always been my person. You will always be my person. I have a lot of making up to do and I will but just know that I really am sorry Y/N." You smiled at him and kissed his cheek. You went to get off him when he pulled you back down and said "I don't want to be friends. I want to be more" you didn't know what to say. Luckily you didn't have to say anything because Halstead walked in. "Woah that was a quick make up erm I'm gonna—" Jay was about to leave when you stopped him "jay hold up. I'm sorry about being blunt earlier, I know you were just trying to help" you gave him a hug.

The 3 of us made our way back into the office. Atwater breaks the silence and says "so are you back to being friends now?" You looked at Ruzek and smiled. "Nope. I think we might be more than that"

#adam ruzek #adam ruzek imagine #adam ruzek x you #adam ruzek x reader #chicago fire #chicago pd #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #chief boden #wallace boden #hank voight #kevin atwater #imagine #fanfic

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cherishedkids · 5 years ago

Text

fight || tokito muichiro x reader

anime: kimetsu no yaiba warning/s: sad, spoilers from the manga, mentions of injuries and character deaths words: 1,686 pairing/s: tokito muichiro x reader request: “Manga spoilers to the ppl who didnt read the manga!!! au where Tokito Muichiro lives and gets a happy ending with a gender neutral reader?” -anon

A/N: thank you to the anon who requested this!! gosh ive been writing so much muichiro lately 😳 i hope you enjoyed this!

The sun streams in, touching everything in its path. You were no stranger to its harsh nature, as you saw countless demons die by its hand. But as its rays touch your own face, you are reminded of a new day. A fresh path was open to you.

Muichiro lay on his back, bandages wrapped around his body. It had been a few months after the brush of death with Kokushibo. Thankfully, the gods saw fit to let him survive. The most that happened was the loss of his right leg and a coma right after. You knew his body needed time to heal, but you had no idea as to how long.

The first time you saw him in that state, you almost cried. Forget the noble cause of fighting for others, forget eradicating demons; he was ready to give himself up for the corps. Those who witnessed him fight the demon praised him for his bravery and abilities—those who were still alive, at least. Hundreds of thousands of his comrades had fallen before him, cursed to die in their work. You were scared for him, yes, but the passion in his eyes burned, and you knew that he’d do everything in his power to kick into gear the death of demons. It was especially present in the fight with the Upper Moon One. He was fine when he left you that night, but the next day, he came back to you, unconscious and battered.

But he survived. And he conquered death. So many times, he was close to dying. So many times, tears fell from eyes, worried sick. So many times, you prayed for him to be alright.

Everyday, for the past months, you waited for him to awaken. You needed a distraction—something to hold on to while Muichiro was not available. So after the first week, you decided to build your own house. It was difficult at first; finding free lands, contacting workers, and getting an architect to make plans for it, but it would be worth it in the end. You expected a lot going in. Money wasn’t a problem, as Ubuyashiki’s family was eager to help its demon slayers, but the stress of the project was big. You devoted yourself to it, as the fantasy of living a normal life with Muichiro gave you motivation. Even the finest of details—what polish to use, the type of wood, and even the lacquers, you paid attention to.

It was all for Muichiro. You had no idea the pain he felt as he laid there, thinking it might be his last moments. You wanted to alleviate that, if only a little, with a promise of a home after he wakes up. If he even wakes up.

The project was long done, the house sitting pristine atop a hill. It wasn’t grand—just enough for a couple to live in. But even so, Muichiro showed no signs of stirring.

Exhausted, you sat back down on your chair and waited patiently for him to open his eyes. The staff at the Butterfly Estate had looks of pity on you whenever you visited them everyday, but you were used to it. If you had no hope for him, then who else would? His flickering light needed someone to shield it, and if it took years, you were perfectly fine with that.

Again, his face lay in a peaceful state. The airy-ness that it exuded was nowhere to be seen. He was fine this way, he seemed happy. But you needed him awake.

For the umpteenth time, you reached across to hold his hand. If you could take away all the pain he had ever felt in his life, you would. He did not deserve this.

“Muichiro… please, get through this,”

Like all the other times, he didn’t reply. There were no tears to escape your eyes. They had already long dried out. You let out a sigh, but you never let go of his hand.

Maybe it was how the sun rose to the sky, carrying light with it. Maybe it was how the moon sank down below, yielding to the superior being. Maybe it was just the result of faith and months of prayers.

Muichiro’s hand intertwined with yours. The force of this wasn't lost on you. When you looked up, his blue eyes stared back at you, full of life and confusion.

“Muichiro!” You almost hugged him, but you weren’t sure if he was well enough for big commotions. You stood up, shaking from excitement. “Hold on, I’ll call Kanzaki—“

His hand doesn’t let go of you. “Please, stay with me for a while,”

You sit back down, ready to answer any of his questions.

“How long have I been… asleep?” This question, you’ve been anticipating.

“About five months,”

“And the others, what happened?”

You swallow the stone stuck in your throat. “Kokushibo died after you lost consciousness, and, well…”

It was clear from your demeanor, and Muichiro understood and nodded. “So they all died…?”

“Muzan was defeated,” At these words, he turned to you, eyes widened. “Tanjiro and his friends and the water hashira are the only ones left,”

“While I was asleep, huh,” You didn’t know what he meant by that.

“At least you’re here now!” He returned the smile you shot him and pressed your hand to his lips.

“Yes. With you.”

After calling Kanzaki Aoi to have a look at him, she deemed him fully recovered from his wounds. Muichiro expressed sadness when he saw his right leg… or lack thereof, but shrugged it off.

“It was the sacrifice I took to see you again,” He said, and your heart rejoiced at those words.

Tengen Uzui, Kamado Tanjiro and Nezuko, Shinazugawa Sanemi, and Tomioka Giyuu were there to greet him. He was one of the people who risked his lives, so naturally, they rejoiced at his awakening. Tengen Uzui welcomed him into his retired life, and pointed at his missing left hand.

“We’re kind of the same, aren’t we?” He laughs, and Muichiro can only smile at his joke.

Shinazugawa and Tomioka regard him, but only Tomioka brought a gift. It was a sword, as he recounts that his was lost in battle.

“Just for protection,” He reassures Muichiro. He accepts the gifts and thanks him. You secretly hope that he never has to draw that sword in any sort of battle.

Kamado Tanjiro and Nezuko approach him. They were both older than the two of you, and their presence was full of warmth.

“Nezuko, the last I saw you…” Of course, he is dumbfounded. He missed out on a lot while he was asleep, after all.

“I know! It’s nice to talk to you as a human again,”

They don’t see it, but the look of contentment crosses his face.

He is eventually cleared off, and was given a wheelchair to sit in. While crutches were given to him, his other leg had atrophied, so he had to train himself to walk. Almost everyone in the Demon Slayer Corps retired after Muzan was defeated. Although some stayed, to protect the Ubuyashiki family. But that was out of your hands now.

You took him to the house you spent so much time working on. Of course, he was blind-folded, so he would not see the surprise. It was already afternoon, and you were sure that he was hungry, so you had to make this fast.

When you finally take off the blindfold, he stares at the house before him. He is silent, taking in sight.

“You…” He says, after a while. “Built this for us?”

You nod, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he gestures for you to come closer, and you do, waiting for him to say his thoughts. But instead, he grabs on to your kimono and kisses you. When you both pull away, he has a blush on his cheeks.

“Thank you, for everything,”

The both of you go inside, and his stomach rumbles. He doesn’t even try to hide it, as he whispers that he is hungry.

“Just sit tight, okay?” You rush to make lunch. Thankfully, you hadn’t thrown the head of lettuce that you ate the night before, and it was still relatively fresh. You get a pan and make his favorite food. It was chicken stew, complete with side dishes. After an hour, you pop out of the kitchen and set the table. He tries to help, but you disagree.

“You’ve been fighting for your life all this time, it’s the least that I can do.”

He smiles and sits back. He can’t deny the fact that he wants nothing more but to assist you, but he knows how long you’ve been waiting for this moment.

The lunch you prepared for him puts him at ease. It’s a reminder of the things that could be, and things to come. If anything, it reminds him of hope—of home. Of what was once his, but lost to unfortunate events.

As he sips the broth, tears start pouring down his face. He can’t contain himself, he just feels so sentimental that moment. When you see this, a look of worry crosses your face. Was your cooking that bad? But he waves it off, and wipes his cheeks.

“I’m just so happy that you stayed for me,” He admits, and you wonder just how long he was holding that one in.

“Of course I would!” It would not make much sense if you just left him just because he was unwell! But he looks at you with uncertainty. So you hold his hands in yours again. “I love you very much, Muichiro. No matter how long, or whatever happens to you, I’ll always be there for you,”

Something had changed inside him. It was tiny, and no one really noticed it. But you did.

“I love you too, ___,”

You were just so happy to have him back, and even if the future was uncertain, you had him with you. And that was enough.

The sun may have gone down, but you had your own sun in your home.

#kny #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #tokito muichiro #tokito muichiro x reader #muichiro x reader #tokito x reader #tokito muichiro hcs #tokito muichiro headcanons #kny headcanons #anime #anime x reader #happy ending :))

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