#i think its because of the trust thats behind it

[sourappl3s]

How to Always get what you want.

its really simple but the only way literal way to get what you want is just to decide you have it now. not later, not soon, not in months but simply NOW. i know you get tired of hearing bloggers say “decide decide decide” well that’s because that’s literally what you have to do. thats how you win, they don’t say robotically affirm until your brains fried, you literally don’t have to do anything but decide. it took me a lot to actually apply the loa which is hilarious because i always thought there was something more to be discovered WHICH THERE ISN’T. i think most of you think that law of assumption is about changing the 3D when it is not because you know and understand that you’re not trying to get and change the 3D, thats not your job. your only job is to know you have it in imagination (4D) and thats literally it. stop trying to meet in the middle with the 3D, stop trying to GET something in the 3D. you understand that manifesting is not a progress right? once you decide to have something and accept it in IMAGINATION. you immediately have it, don’t contradict it, don’t think against it just know and accept you have it in your imagination. i cannot stress this enough because it took me forever to drill it in my brain but do not look for evidence in the 3D. its always neutral and dead, you do not look to the 3D for validation, the 3D looks at YOU for validation. thats like saying you want to change a mirror because its not showing you what you like, you don’t change a mirror you change self. mirrors reflect what you show it. i also hate when people are trying to say the 3D is your enemy it is NOT YOUR ENEMY. why would you make yourself your own enemy that makes no sense? all you have to do is acknowledge that its okay to not have it in the 3D and the fact that you have it in the 4D. no more trying to change the 3D. the 3D is a reflection of your 4D everything you say to yourself in imagination will be reflected. now i’m not saying doubts, intrusive, invasive, negative thoughts will manifest (unless you assume otherwise) i’m just saying reality is bending to your thoughts so whatever YOU want to happen or consistently place your awareness on WILL happen. this is just my belief but i personally don’t believe “feeling” is key. i think the key is just to know i already have it and move on with my life. yeah i’ll affirm for like 1 minute just to remind myself but other than that i don’t obsess over something i already have. i don’t panic, i don’t say “what if it doesn’t come” no. trust yourself. reality is always listening to you, this is why i became so successful in inducing the void, manifesting, getting what i want in less than one day because i simply decide and move on with life.

remember you’re not trying to convince yourself that you have your desires. you’re understanding that they’re yours now. nothing cannot take that away from you, once you decide you have something you have it now, please reread that phrase and understand what that means, literally embrace lazy manifesting, (credits to @/itsrlymine since i saw that on her blog). you literally don’t have to lift a finger after you decide you have something in imagination, because in imagination you’re not limited to anything, you always experience everything instantly in imagination and imagination is the true reality, it creates everything. so be bold and dare to assume, there’s nothing too big or too small. trust yourself and take that leap of faith. trust the unseen, trust theres always movement, i believe in you. don’t wait until 2030 for things to finally click for you because we’re getting closer to 2030. dont get left behind.

you get what you want when you decide you have it now.

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 6 - Secret

The jealousy that began to bubble up, though likely pointless to hide from her of all people, Arsay desperately tried to keep a secret from her dear friend Krile.

[glorified-red]

Your majesty frothing at the mouth? Well I’ll be damned.

but the thing is … passion twists don’t last 💔 but I know box braids will last 1-2 months. Then again, then mfs hurt!

you could be talking about Havana twists, or maybe Senegalese twists

-knight anon

I could go on an entire rant about how much I love natural hair and their styles.

I actually looked into the braiding styles and wanted to learn how to do them because you never know. I want to foster so I want to do everything I can to make sure any person in my life feels seen and safe. Hair is just an extension of safety so 🤷‍♀️

And yes!! I actually think my favorite style is this one

Tbh they could be passion twists (they look like them). They're just so bouncy!! I wanna stare at them forever. I think women with this style hair just look like goddesses I'm sorry, they're so regal and everyone looks hot with them in.

Ugh 😩

Ngl, I know pricing and time is a huge thing when choosing hairstyles but idk which ones are more expensive or more time consuming. I just know that braids hurt and owie.

[luvmanifesting]

STOP over complicating pure consciousness.

For the last time again pure consciousness is INDUCED! from being aware of the 4D state thats it. your 4D state is literally:

imagination

inner monologue (conversation)

playing a song in your head

ANYTHING that has the word 4D in it is literally just in short for inner. EVERYTHING IS INNER! the 3D is just a illusion of your past assumptions. stop acting like its so hard to induce, you guys ask the same questions repeatedly like what more do you want? we’re not going to manifest for you. i think 99% of the community on tumblr glorifies this so much that it led to complications and misinformation which also led to people doubting it and always assuming they fail it (which is remotely impossible because you can’t fail anything within yourself 💀). “BUT I WANT TO INDUCE IT NOW!! IM SO TIRED OF THIS REALITY—“ ok.. and you can do just that by simply laying down and remaining focused on the darkness behind your eyes and the little scenarios you make. i think its so hilarious because if you can make all these sexual fantasies about what you and your crush will do with EASE how come it’s suddenly so hard to daydream when wanting to induce pure consciousness??

and like always just after this post you’re going to go back and doomscroll looking for the magical key to make you suddenly induce it when i literally explained what you have to do.

CLOSE YOUR EYES, RELAX, FOCUS ON THE DARKNESS BEHIND YOUR EYES, THEN YOU INDUCE IT!!!

you’re so worried about the “whats and ifs and whys” instead of the 4D which is why you “fail” to induce it. you’re so worried about that floaty feeling, you’re so worried about the time, you’re so worried about tomorrow. JUST LET GO! learn to trust yourself.

[kissracing]

GOSSIP GIRL, max verstappen.

summary. when a random instagram page called “maxverstappengossip” pops up with stupid—to made up sounding—facts about max, many can’t help but wonder who is behind the account. luckily, max solves the case!

featuring. max verstappen x fem!poc!reader (faceclaim, meret manon)

this fic includes the following. . . swearing, famous!reader (its not that important tbh), unhinged!reader, various posts,

maxverstappengossip • instagram

liked by user, user, and others

maxverstappengossip a gossip page for max verstappen because hes actually a weirdo 👍🏽

♥︎ 29.6k 💬 4k ➢

maxverstappengossip 📌 92k IN A DAY??? HELLO???

➥ maxverstappengossip I have even posted anything guys omg

➥ maxverstappengossip weird of yall to start defending him as if he wasn’t found with human remains in his basement in 2013

user i’m so here for this page fr

user weirdo HOW?? you don’t know this man. you’re the fucking weirdo

➥ maxverstappengossip woah there buddy boy no need to be hostile 🙂‍↔️

➥ user i really hope you get exposed or worse. like fr

➥ user max verstappen fans are actually unhinged omg?? bc wym “or worse” 😭

user WAITT THESE MAX PHOTOS ARE SO 🫦

user this is so parasocial omg..

user where is this even coming from??

user he look high asf in the 2nd photo

user giving f1gossip a run for her money 😍😍

user this is actually so weird. gossip about a man who lowkey doesn’t bother anybody??

➥ user max verstappen.. doesn’t bother anyone?

user i’m employed what does this mean

➥ maxverstappengossip making naruto vs jjk edits is not a job babe

user MV33 HATE CLUB UNITE!!!

user YALL ITS A TROLL PAGE 😭

maxverstappengossip • instagram

liked by user, user, and others

maxverstappengossip the reason why we don’t see this dog anymore is because he ate him. ＠peta look into this plz

♥︎ 77.5k 💬 2k ➢

user now who is running this account 😭

user i thought he gave them away??

➥ maxverstappengossip that’s what he wants u to believe

user WHAT

user i told yall it was a troll account 😭

user source??

➥ maxverstappengossip i saw him do it

user i can’t believe he would do this… does yn know??

➥ user OMGGG SAVE YN

➥ user ＠yourusername GIRL YOUR BOYFRIEND LIKES TO EAT DOGSS RUNN

➥ user NOW WHY WOULD YOU TAG HERNSN

user ???? i expected actual gossip…

user TAGGED PETA??? THIS IS INSANEE

user #maxverstappenisoverparty

user i cant believe he would do this..

user “peta look into this plz” IM CRYINGG

maxverstappengossip • instagram

liked by user, user, and others

maxverstappengossip the real max verstappen died and what we’re seeing is a clone of him

♥︎ 104k 💬 12.3k ➢

user ho is he paul mccartney ??

user HOW DID HE DIE OMGG

➥ maxverstappengossip the real jimmy & sassy got tired of him and ate him. 100% real #trust.

➥ user wait so jimmy & sassy are clones too??

➥ maxverstappengossip yeah

user again, does yn know about this???

➥ user im surprised she hasnt followed this account yet

➥ user SHES PROBABLY RUNNING THIS ACCOUNT 😭

user this is the most unserious thing EVERR

user im over here thinking we’re gonna get juicy tea from this account ☠️

user so.. did clone max eat the dog or real max..??

➥ maxverstappengossip real max

➥ user awe man i had hope for real max ☹️

➥ maxverstappengossip well that was your first mistake

various users • twitter

yn &&. max! • imessage

maxverstappengossip • instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, user and others

maxverstappengossip k funs over 😒

♥︎ 366k 💬 20.4k ➢

maxverstappen1 “Fun” you almost ruined my career?!

➥ maxverstappengossip OHH BROTHERR

maxverstappen1 What’s with the jk photo??

➥ maxverstappengossip thats JUNGKOOK TO YEW. 🫵🏽 also he’s bae fr

➥ maxverstappen1 I don’t understand you

➥ maxverstappengossip skibidi rizzler gyatt 😍🙏🏽

➥ maxverstappen1 Delete your account

user I KNEW ITTTT

user “i’m doing it, are you?” HELLLOOOOO??

user jungkook photo is so real

user gorgeous girl doing unhinged shit

➥ user making sure max stays humble 🙂‍↕️

user PLEASE DONT DELETE THIS ACCOUNT 🙏🙏🙏

➥ maxverstappengossip TRUST I WONT.

➥ maxverstappen1 You said you would?

➥ maxverstappengossip well i’m a liar idk why you keep believing me

➥ maxverstappen1 🤦🏼

user this is such a random photo dump

user baby max eating fries ohnyhetayags

user rip maxverstappengossip… 2025-2025 💔

BONUS! • twitter

amera speaks. possibly my favorite fic ive written so far (besides the oscar x weird!girl reader, which im almost done with)!!! i hope you all enjoy <3. i think after my oscar fic comes out, im gonna start doing requests :3! i never know what to say here anymore LOL

[tsumuus]

when he sees me

katsuki bakugou x reader, blind date, first date, fluff, ooc?, based on this drabble, probably my longest written fic(around 2300-2400 words, but like thats a lot for me😭)

main masterlist | bnha masterlist

You’ve never considered yourself the romantic type.

Not for lack of curiosity, but because the idea of romance felt like standing on the edge of a cliff. Sure, the view was breathtaking, but one wrong move and you’d plummet into the unknown. Relationships demanded too much- a risk of losing control, of exposing parts of yourself no one else had seen, only to have it thrown back in your face.

That’s why, despite Mina’s relentless campaigning to set you up with her “perfect guy,” you resisted.

“C’mon, he’s not like other guys,” she insisted one afternoon, her golden eyes sparkling with determination.

You sighed, stirring your coffee absentmindedly. “Mina, you’ve said that about all of your friends. And let’s not forget how the last one ended up being obsessed with his ex.”

Mina laughed. “Okay, fair, but this guy is different. He’s… grounded. Straightforward. No games, no fluff. I think you’d actually like him.”

“You’ve said that before too,” you teased.

Her pout was almost convincing. Almost. “Just trust me. One date. If it’s horrible, I’ll never bring it up again. Deal?”

You hesitated, weighing the risk of one awkward evening against weeks of Mina’s pestering. Reluctantly, you gave in. “Fine. One date.”

The restaurant was warm and inviting, its soft lighting casting a cozy glow over the wooden tables and shelves lined with potted plants. Mina had texted you the details earlier: 7 PM, party for two, under your name. She’d been oddly tight-lipped about who your date was, insisting she wanted it to be a surprise.

You were still skeptical, but a small part of you was curious. Maybe Mina was right this time. Maybe.

You arrived a few minutes early, hoping to gather your thoughts before meeting your mystery date. The host greeted you with a polite smile and led you to a small table near the window.

“Your party hasn’t arrived yet,” they said, pulling out your chair.

“Thank you,” you replied, sitting down and scanning the menu.

Minutes ticked by. You started to wonder if you’d been stood up when the door opened, and a blond man walked in, his sharp crimson eyes scanning the room.

You froze.

Even from across the restaurant, you recognized him. Katsuki Bakugou, pro hero and household name, exuded an aura that was impossible to ignore. He wasn’t wearing his hero costume, but the fitted black sweater and dark jeans were somehow just as striking.

Your heart sank. There’s no way he’s here for me.

But then his gaze landed on you, and he started walking over.

“You’re the blind date?” he asked, stopping in front of your table.

You blinked up at him, stunned. “You’re…”

“Katsuki,” he said, pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down. “Guess we’re both surprised.”

It took you a moment to recover. Of all the people Mina could have set you up with, this was the guy she’d chosen? Pro hero, explosive temper, and notorious for being brutally honest? It didn’t make sense.

“Uh, yeah,” you finally managed. “Nice to meet you.”

He gave a small nod, studying you with an intensity that made you shift in your seat.

The first few minutes were… awkward. He wasn’t exactly a conversationalist, and you weren’t sure how to navigate the situation. But as the evening went on, you began to notice things you hadn’t expected.

For one, he wasn’t as intimidating as you’d imagined. Sure, his words were blunt, but there was a surprising warmth behind them. He listened when you spoke, his attention unwavering. And when he talked about his work, there was a passion in his voice that made it impossible not to be drawn in.

“So, you’re friends with Mina?” he asked at one point, breaking the silence that had settled between you.

“Yeah. We’ve been friends since middle school,” you said. “She’s been trying to set me up for years. Guess she finally got her way.”

He snorted. “Sounds like her.”

You smiled, relaxing slightly. “What about you? How did she convince you to do this?”

“Didn’t take much,” he admitted. “She said you weren’t annoying, so I figured it was worth a shot.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “High praise.”

“It is,” he said, smirking.

Despite yourself, you laughed. The more you talked, the more you realized that he wasn’t what you’d expected. Beneath the sharp edges and fiery reputation was someone who was honest, genuine, and… kind. In his own way.

When the night ended, he walked you to your car. The cool evening air was a welcome contrast to the warmth of the restaurant, and you found yourself wishing the night could last just a little longer.

“Thanks for tonight,” he said, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Didn’t think I’d like this whole blind date thing, but… you’re not bad.”

A small laugh escaped you. “You’re not bad yourself.”

His lips quirked in the faintest of smirks. “See ya around?”

For a moment, you hesitated, the weight of your fears pressing down on you. But then you met his gaze- steady, genuine- and you felt something shift.

“Yeah,” you said softly. “See you around.”

That night, as you lay in bed replaying the evening in your mind, you realized something strange: you weren’t overthinking it. You weren’t second-guessing every word or analyzing every gesture. Instead, you felt… calm.

For the first time, the idea of letting someone in didn’t feel like a leap off a cliff.

It felt like the beginning of something you didn’t want to lose.

You didn’t expect him to call.

Even though the night had gone surprisingly well, you told yourself not to get your hopes up. He was a pro hero, after all- someone whose life moved at a pace so fast it felt impossible to keep up. People like him didn’t have time for something as fragile and delicate as a budding relationship.

Still, the memory of his smirk lingered, sharp and vivid in your mind. The way his crimson eyes had softened ever so slightly when he teased you- so subtle you wondered if you’d imagined it- made it impossible not to replay the evening over and over.

Three days passed. You told yourself to move on, to not dwell on what was probably just a casual dinner for him. That is, until your phone buzzed with a text.

Katsuki: Hey. You free for dinner this week?

The message was so short, so him, that it took you a moment to process it. Your heart stuttered, and you stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity. Was this real? A small, incredulous laugh bubbled out of you. You couldn’t deny the warmth spreading through your chest.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Should you reply right away? Wait a few minutes? Was it too eager to answer so quickly?

Finally, with a shaky breath, you typed back:

You: Yeah, I think I could be convinced. When were you thinking?

The pause before his next reply felt like forever, but when it came, it was so straightforward you had to smile.

Katsuki: Friday. 7. Same place.

Simple. Confident. And as you stared at the message, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope.

The first couple of dinners were... awkward, to say the least.

It wasn’t that Katsuki made you uncomfortable- far from it. But there was something about the way he carried himself, the unwavering intensity in his gaze, that made you hyperaware of every word you spoke. He wasn’t a conversationalist, either. The silences between you felt heavier than they needed to, filled with the unspoken tension of two people trying to figure each other out.

He wasn’t oblivious to it. One evening, while you sat across from him in a cozy, dimly lit restaurant, your fork hovering over your plate, he tilted his head and raised a brow.

“You gonna stop acting like you’re walkin’ on eggshells around me, or do I need to pry it out of you?” he asked bluntly, his tone laced with teasing, though his crimson eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.

Your fork clinked softly against the plate as you set it down, caught off guard. “I’m not walking on eggshells,” you retorted, though the heat creeping up your neck betrayed you.

His lips quirked in a knowing smirk. “Yeah, you are.” He leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink, never breaking eye contact. “Just say whatever’s on your mind. I’m not gonna bite.”

There was something disarming about the way he said it- gruff but sincere. His words loosened something inside you, and before you realized it, you were laughing, the tension in your shoulders melting away. “You really don’t hold back, do you?”

“Don’t see the point,” he said with a shrug, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “It’s more fun when people are just themselves. So, quit overthinkin’ and just talk to me.”

It was easier said than done, but something about the way he said it- direct, no room for doubt- made you want to try. And so you did. Hesitantly at first, testing the waters with little anecdotes and random thoughts. But as the night went on, the words flowed more freely. You told him about your day, about things that annoyed you, things that made you laugh. And Katsuki listened.

Really listened.

He didn’t interrupt or interject with meaningless comments. He just let you talk, his eyes steady on yours, nodding here and there or throwing in a dry remark that made you laugh despite yourself. By the time the check came, the air between you felt lighter, less strained.

When he walked you to your door that night, hands shoved into his pockets and that familiar scowl softening just a fraction, you realized you were looking forward to the next time you’d see him.

Things between you shifted after that. Slowly, in small, subtle ways. Dinners turned into late-night conversations that carried over into texts throughout the week. Katsuki wasn’t the type to blow up your phone with messages, but when he did text, it was always something meaningful- or hilarious, though he’d never admit he was funny on purpose.

One night, he called out of the blue.

“Look outside,” he said gruffly, not even bothering with a greeting.

Confused, you walked to the window. Sure enough, there he was, standing on the sidewalk with a bag slung over one shoulder, his free hand holding up his phone.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, laughing as you opened the door and stepped outside to meet him.

“Thought you could use a break,” he said, holding up the bag. “Brought food. Don’t argue, just eat.”

It was simple, thoughtful gestures like that- the way he remembered little things you said, like your favorite snack or how you liked your coffee- that caught you off guard. He wasn’t trying to impress you; he was just... himself. Honest, genuine, and surprisingly caring in ways he’d never admit aloud.

The night it all came to a head was unplanned, much like the way your relationship had unfolded. You’d been feeling restless all day, the kind of itch beneath your skin that no amount of pacing or distractions could soothe. Katsuki must have noticed when he stopped by after work, because instead of sitting down like usual, he grabbed your hand.

“C’mon,” he said simply, tugging you toward the door.

“Where are we going?” you asked, though you didn’t resist, letting him lead you out into the cool night air.

“You’ll see.”

He didn’t elaborate, and you didn’t push, curious despite yourself. He walked with purpose, his hand warm and solid around yours, guiding you through streets you didn’t recognize until you reached a quiet rooftop overlooking the city. The view was breathtaking- glittering lights stretching out as far as the eye could see, the hum of distant traffic a soothing backdrop.

“Wow,” you breathed, stepping closer to the edge to take it all in.

Katsuki leaned against the railing, watching you instead of the view. “Thought you might like it,” he said after a moment, his voice softer than usual.

You glanced back at him, your chest tightening at the way he looked at you. “I do. It’s beautiful.”

He stayed quiet for a beat, his gaze dropping to the ground before meeting yours again. “You’ve been outta it lately,” he said, his tone careful. “Figured you needed to get outta your head for a bit.”

The words hit harder than you expected. You swallowed the lump in your throat, the weight of his attention- his care- making it hard to speak. “Thank you,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, though the faint blush creeping up his neck betrayed him.

The silence stretched, comfortable now, as you both watched the city lights. But something was shifting between you, unspoken but undeniable. You felt it in the way he stood closer than before, his shoulder brushing against yours. In the way his crimson eyes softened when they met yours.

“Katsuki,” you began, your voice trembling slightly, “why do you... do all this? For me, I mean.”

He stiffened slightly but didn’t look away. “Why wouldn’t I?” he said, his tone defensive, like the answer was obvious. “You’re important to me.”

The confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable. Your breath caught, and before you could stop yourself, you reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. He stared at your joined hands, his expression unreadable, before squeezing back.

“You’re important to me too,” you said softly, the words carrying more weight than you expected.

And in that quiet moment, surrounded by the glow of the city, something between you clicked. There were no fireworks, no dramatic declarations, but as Katsuki leaned in, his forehead brushing gently against yours, you realized you didn’t need them. This- his warmth, his presence- was more than enough.

[gamblersdoll]

Pro hero izuku who's really obsessed with his lover? Can be nsfw!

“youre so pretty, baby.” izuku, the green haired hero mumbles into your skin when he presses up against you. “how could i get so, so lucky?”

“you tell me, you’re saying that because im making the collard greens with hamhocks.” you giggle, him grunting and turning you to face him. “yes, zuku?” he shakes his head, backing up just a little and smiling. “yes, sweetie?”

“its not because youre making it different,” he interjects, kissing your lips then your face. “because youre patient, and because you see things i dont.. helps me learn who to trust and what to look out for. plus you help me with hair and all that..”

“thats because you are neurodivergent and cant focus on anything but work and allmight.” you remind, pulling a curl from his face and kissing his head. “and because you want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but not everyone deserves that— hell, mostly everyone doesnt deserve that.”

“shush.” he puts a hand on your mouth, pulling your arm up and kissing a trail up your arm. “sometimes..” he starts, finishing his kisses and kissing your neck. “i think about that movie you showed me.”

“which one are you talking about?”

“you know which one.” he chuckles, tilting your head up and deeply kissing you with a groan. he sways the both of your bodies side to side, smelling the collards and reaching behind you to stir the pot. fortunately, for you, you feel it and peak.

“damnit— boy!” you shriek, rushing back to the stove to finish cooking. “if you wanted me that bad, shouldve said it before the moment i cook!”

“if i wanted to fuck you right now, i would be. “ he mumbles, a hand on the lower of your back and he scratches your head. “i do love you, pretty lady.”

“i love you too, you curly headed fuck.”

[justarkive]

THE JEONS | 15

15: Too Much Love

summary: a collection of chaotic family drabbles. thats it.

contents: family!au, non.idol jungkook, girl!dad jk, fluff, angst, sensitive topics + smut sometimes!

• chapter contents: tender domesticity, overwhelming love, parental vulnerability, soft angst. fluff with a gritty, aching undercurrent + strange sense of impending doom. emotional overload, insecurity, and a moment of stepping back before stepping forward. jungkook washes hana, but it becomes too much. love that hurts in its softness.

• warnings: emotional intensity, self-worth struggles, one (1) grown man crying in a hallway. parental softness that may destroy you.

a/n: idk this drabble doesnt even have anything that sad in it but i was so sad while writing it, this is also my attempt at writing smth poetic and gritty hehe, im vry proud of it ( prob my fav drabble out of all of them )

• taglist: @jenniebyrubies @lovingkoalaface @iamstilljk @elinaki92 @rpwprpwprpwprw @mafersame @parkinglot-nights @reallygenerouskoala @mimi1097 @aznstoner @jungshaking @pinkpunkdynamite @angie-x3 @bgfdcvbnjk @starlight-1010 (check pinned to be added)

series masterlist

It’s late.

Not late in the way the clock says—though it’s well past midnight—but in that way the house feels. Everything quiet, soft, suspended. Lights off in every room except the bathroom, where a single yellow lamp hums like it’s dreaming. The light is dim and sleepy, casting the room in that strange glow that only happens past midnight, when the world forgets how to be loud.

The water’s warm, not hot. Just enough to steam the mirror a little, just enough to make her lashes damp at the tips.

Hana’s in the tub, knees drawn up, toes wiggling under the bubbles. She’s talking—something about a sea monster and a rubber duck who fell in love—but he’s only half-hearing it. Not because he’s not listening. He is.

She’s all pink cheeks and wet lashes, her laugh like windchimes, her body small and wiggly with joy, still unbothered by the world. Still untouched by shame or fear or anything heavy. And she’s looking at him like he invented every good thing. Like he’s the sun and gravity and all her favorite colors in one body.

It’s just hard to breathe.

He brushes her hair slowly, rhythmically. Like it’s a ritual. One hand gathering the light strands from the nape of her neck, the other tugging gently from scalp to end. Repeat. The brush stutters now and then on a tangle, and she flinches like she wants to protest, but doesn’t. She’s warm and heavy-limbed with sleep, her cheeks pink with heat, her breath fogging the mirror just a little.

His sleeves are wet past the elbows, one hand steady under her chin, the other smoothing more shampoo into her scalp. She tilts her head back when he says so, closes her eyes, lets the water rinse through her hair like she trusts him with everything. And she does. That’s the part that makes his chest ache.

She trusts him.

More than anything else in the world.

And she’s so small.

His fingers cup the curve of her head like he’s holding a bird. His palm covers her entire back when she leans forward to rinse. Her wrists disappear under the wrap of his hands. He’d like to think he could fold her up into his chest and carry her forever.

And he wants to.

Jungkook looks at her—really looks—and his chest aches.

Because his whole world is right there. In the tub. With her flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes and the toy that keeps capsizing and the hair that tangles faster than he can smooth it. That’s it. That’s the whole purpose. That’s the whole goddamn point of everything he’s ever done right.

But then she blinks up at him with that stupid gummy smile and those eyelashes that stick together in stars, and she giggles just because he scrubs behind her ears a little too hard, and it happens—something in his throat stings. The kind of ache you only get when love feels like too much for the body you’re in.

He swallows it down. Or tries to.

Keeps washing her shoulders. Quietly.

But the sight of her little spine. Her soft skin. The way she leans back into his hand without even thinking. It’s unbearable. It’s perfect. It’s terrifying.

Because how did he get this?

How did someone like him—someone who messes things up, someone who still flinches at the thought of not being enough—how did he end up here? With this tiny, beautiful, trusting human leaning back into his hands like he’s the only safe place she’s ever known?

It’s too much.

He feels it rising in his chest like heat, like a wave, like something is about to crack open, and he has to step back.

He puts down the washcloth. Carefully. Not fast, not sharp, just… careful.

“Baby,” he says, barely above a whisper. “Mama’s gonna finish, okay?”

Hana pouts. “But I want—”

“Shhh,” you murmur, stepping in without missing a beat, your voice the calm to every storm. “He’ll be right back, bun.”

You kiss her wet forehead and take the cloth from his hand. He brushes past you. Not rushed, but not slow either. Just enough to not fall apart in front of her.

He leans against the wall just outside the door.

One breath. Then another.

The air out here feels colder. Less magical.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Doesn’t even bother hiding it.

Inside, he hears you humming. Nothing special. Just something soft, familiar. The way you always do when it’s late and everyone’s tired and there’s not a single thing in the world that needs fixing.

And he turns just enough to see.

You’re kneeling at the edge of the tub, sleeves pushed up, eyes low and warm. Hana’s voice is sticky with giggles, high and bubbling like something effervescent, and it bounces off the tile and into the corners of the room. You’re washing her arms, small and slippery with soap, and she kicks water at you when you try to rinse her back. You don’t flinch. You just smile. That kind of smile that curves your whole mouth, that he never gets tired of watching. Hana is looking at you like you’re her whole sun.

And you are.

And this time, it doesn’t break him.

It rebuilds him.

He stands there quietly, watching the two of you.

His world. All of it.

And this time, the tears don’t sting—they warm.

You’re not talking much. Just murmuring little things to her. Compliments. Warnings. Soft scolds disguised as lullabies. The kind of voice you use only with her. And she’s not paying attention to the words, really—just the tone. The tenderness. The safety in it.

He stands in the doorway, leaning on the frame, arms crossed but loose, heavy eyes tracking both of you like he’s afraid to blink. Like if he does, this moment might glitch and vanish.

You’re so beautiful. Not in the stupid, glossy way. Not like a picture or a promise. You’re beautiful in the way breath is beautiful. In the way the moon never asks to be looked at, but always is.

He exhales, slow and full.

Two people. That’s it. Just two people.

And yet, somehow, his whole fucking universe is right there. Slippery and soft and splashing.

After, he watches you towel her off, warm her little limbs, lotion her tiny knees while she pretends not to like it. She makes a face at the cold cream, and you flick her forehead gently, and she grins like it’s the funniest thing in the world. Then you carry her to her room, even though she’s getting too big, and he hears you groan dramatically about your back and she tells you that you’re old, and the two of you are laughing again, in whispers.

You dry her hair with the towel, patting gently, while she wiggles on the bed like she’s got ants in her pajamas. He’s sitting on the floor just by her doorway, elbows to knees, head bowed.

You sit her on the bed, tuck her in with too many blankets like you always do, and smooth her hair back from her forehead. He sees you hesitate before turning off the lamp, reaching instead for the brush.

She whines a little, but you hush her with something sweet and mindless. The bristles move through her hair. She’s half-asleep, head bobbing with each pass.

Two people. One brushing the other’s hair.

But to him, it looks like the whole goddamn meaning of life.

“Dada?” she mumbles, eyes half-lidded, twisting the hem of her sleeve in her fingers. “Where’s Dada?”

You glance at her. Then at him.

He hasn’t moved. Like the words didn’t quite reach him.

So you turn slightly, raise your voice just enough to find him in the quiet.

“She’s asking for you,” you say, gentle but firm.

“I—can’t,” he says softly. Quiet enough that only you hear it.

Your hand stills on her head. You look over your shoulder.

“I know,” you say, and it’s not a question. It’s not disappointment. It’s not pressure.

It’s just… knowing.

And then you reach for him—your fingers, open, palm up.

“Come on,” you say. Just that.

And he doesn’t want to. He really doesn’t. Not because he doesn’t love her. But because he loves her so much that it hurts. And right now that ache feels bigger than he can carry alone.

But you’re not letting him do it alone.

So he takes your hand.

You pull him up gently, guide him back into the room like it’s nothing, like it’s easy. He swears he can’t breathe right, but you’re calm. And she’s calm. And the night is calm too.

Together, you sit her down at the edge of the bed. You kneel in front of her and start brushing her hair with slow, even strokes, while he sits behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. He watches your hands. Watches the way you twist the strands, smooth the flyaways, tuck the pieces behind her ear with such care.

She’s almost asleep before the braid’s even finished.

He swallows hard. Touches her ankle.

“I love you,” he whispers, so soft it barely counts as sound.

She hums through her sleepiness. “I love you… more.”

And he just blinks. Swallows again.

You never could, he thinks. Not even close.

He glances at you, and you smile—not the wide kind, but the small, knowing kind. The kind that says, we’ve got her. Even when you don’t say it out loud.

And the thing is, he can’t do this alone. He doesn’t want to.

The braid is crooked again. A few strands already falling loose. The nightlight glows orange against the curve of her cheek. Her mouth is slack, her lashes curled, her fingers curled around the hem of her blanket.

His chest aches again, but this time it doesn’t scare him.

It softens him.

You kiss Hana’s temple, then gesture for him to do the same. He does. Carefully. Right between her brows.

And when she exhales a little sigh like it’s the last thing she needed before surrendering to sleep, you take his hand again. Guide him back down the hallway. Lights off, doors closed.

“I’m proud of you,” you say, once the world is hushed behind you.

And he believes you.

He really does.

[funlovinzara]

The unexpected hangout

𝐼 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓈 𝓂𝑒

(Music is intended to be played in the story, wear headphones <3) (long fic)

I grew up in this town for as long as i can remember, i wasn’t introverted, but i wasn’t an extrovert either. I spoke when i had to, leaving me with a group of friends here and there. Beginning high-school was another story, i still had my small group of friends including this one girl Momo. I don’t exactly know how i became friends with her but shes been the friendliest since i could remember.

But i find myself drowning in the sinkhole of over working, and i think she could tell because she recommended a sleepover/hangout with another one of her friends that she thought i would like. Momo is the only one i can truly be myself around so how can i expect her friend to even like me. I open to learning many subjects, although i don’t pick a favorite i like things about conspiracies or random theories to keep me up thinking.

My phone dings with a message, its from Momo

Momo👻: I’ll be at your place around 7! My friend is still coming over, trust me you and him are going to be great friends.

Me: Him? He’s a guy? You must be setting something up

Momo👻: Well I’m just saying if things between you guys progress than it is what it is but thats NOT what I’m trying to do at all🤣

Me: What if he’s really rude or something i cant handle more stress I’m too tired for this, if i wanted to have a guy friend then i would have asked.

Momo👻: No he’s not like that he’s a total nerd, he would never do anything harmful. Ive been friends with him for awhile, i talk to him about aliens and stuff all the time

Me: What makes you think i wanna deal with boys at all. I’ll try to be friends with him i guess but if he does anything that i can’t respect he’s getting out of my home

Momo👻: Alrightt no need to be so stuck up, your stressed just relax for a bit.

I stare up at the starry night and then bring my eyes to the clock, Momo is a few minutes late. But as a coincidence, she knocks at my door as soon as i have that thought. I go down the stairs to see her open the door, hmm must have been unlocked, but i remember locking.

Maybe i should be nice, ill try my best too. I mean she wasn’t worried about him or anything. Momo swings the door open giving me a big hug, i look behind her to see a boy. We make eye contact and he looks away timidly and fiddles with his hair. Momo knew i had a thing for nerds, she’s definitely setting something up.

(I was a little scared to introduce myself though…)

“This is my friend i told you about, his name is okarun!!”

He looks back up shyly, extended his hand to give me a hand shake. I give him a handshake back, flashing the tiniest smile to show the least bit of comfort. He steps closer to me to whisper something quiet enough not for Momo to hear

“M—my name is actually Ken takakura…” I nod my head to make sure Momo doesn’t think anything is up, i wonder why she calls him Okarun though. Momo yawns making her way to the living room and into the kitchen, opening the fridge to look for her favorite drink i usually keep at my place.

“Hey…y/n you don’t have any more of that drink..”

“Sorry, I’ll buy some more soon.” She walks back over to the entrance of the home where me and Ken were still standing awkwardly “its alright, speaking of which, the gas station is only a 5 minutes walk from here. I’ll go run and buy some!! My grandma gave me some money incase i wanted to get snacks!”

I look at her in despair. I whisper yell at her before she walks out the door “You’re leaving??!? Now???! Me alone with a boy??!!”

“Cmonn I’m gonna be back I’ll make it quick.” She gives me a sly wink before shutting my own door at my face. I turn around slowly, lifting my head up to look at Ken embarrassingly. He was looking at me but he shifted his gaze to some random spot in the house. I didn’t want to stand here forever..

“We can just go to my room for now while we wait…”

I guide him up the stairs towards my room, i leave background music playing to calm me and i accidentally forgot to turn it off. We enter my room and his eyes lighten up like a puppy. I had a fluffy rug, thick bed sheets many tiny figures and posters, with a neat desk and dim lights. He felt a comforting feeling as he heard the music that was left playing.

He looks around and he notices i have a book on my desk titled “conspiracy’s and theories #1: Aliens? Are they real?” I sat on my bed and i saw him approach the book for a closer inspection, his eyes glow as he looks up at me.

He realizes he touched something without asking and he places the book down quickly while fiddling with his hair again and re-adjusting his glasses. He looks down at the floor in embarrassment with a blushing face.

“I have the same book..d—do you like…aliens..?”

My goodness he is so cute. I snap out of my daydreaming after staring at him.“Well…i like reading about them. They seem cool to me and i like the unknown. I watch a-lot of documents.”

He looks up at me, with his hand still in his hair. “Do you know anything about…UAP’s and UFO’s..? I softly replied, “Yes i do read about them a little.” His eyes were in full on dull mode, he was so ready to rant. I realized he was still standing, and i was on my bed. He’s not a bad guy at all, he’s just really shy, well— so am i.

I pat the spot next to me signaling him to sit down next to me. I try to get more comfortable, i sat in a criss cross position. He looks at me with his face flushing again and he slowly makes his way to the bed, he sat in the same criss cross position facing me. His hand still in his hair obviously, his head down, he muttered…

“There have been many sightings of aliens..I—I’ve done alot of research. I should have brought my b—books but i thought that you weren’t really going to like….me..”

“Oh, i thought the same about you…that you were going to be kind of rude to me. But you like the same things as me.”

He hesitantly brings his head up to make eye contact with me, his face a pink tone due to the blush. My open window blows a cool air into the room, moonlight hitting his eyes and shining them. I avert my gaze to him to see him pondering into my eyes, his lips part as he was going to say something until we could hear the door open. It was Momo, that was really quick.

We rush back downstairs to see her with multiple bags, more than what she said she was going to buy. “Oh man, i really should have called you!! They had an amazing deal and i got so many snacks for half off!”

Me and Ken look at each-other, we slightly giggle at the goofiness of Momo. Momo ran up the stairs and came back down with a giant blanket from my closet, she places it on the couch with the snacks she bought on the table

“Cmon guys let’s watch a movie!!” I sat down with Ken trying not to be to close to make me uncomfortable, through out the movies we watched i could feel him land his attention on me. But he was very slick with it, i could hardly tell.

At the end of the night after all the movies, Momo and Ken helped clean up. Momo grabbed all of her belongings and so did Ken and they were about to leave. “Bye y/n! See you tomorrow!!”

“B—bye…” i didn’t want it to end like this… “Okarun.” He turns around and looks at me with confusion and a bit of fluster. “Could I see your phone for a sec?” He hands me his unlocked phone and i quickly type my number and my name into a new contact space and hand him his phone back. He looks at what I’ve done and his face goes from pink to a rose red. He looks up at me like his face was about to explode

It seems like he wanted to say thank you, but Momo pulled him out of the door in a hurry. The door shut on me again, but instead..i don’t feel lonely anymore. I feel a warmth entered my soul.

We could be friends…

This took forveerrr please but i love this alot like i really wanted to get the emotion in here😭🫶🏾

[hollowdeath]

professor potter

pairing: harry james potter x fem!reader AU (18+)

summary: 2 years after the war, harry accepted a position as a substitute professor at hogwarts and recognized you from his years as a student. old feelings come to the surface as you both try to remain professional to keep his position safe.

content warning: slight teacher/student dynamic (they used to be classmates, reader is 18+), mostly slow burn & angst. smut mostly doesn't happen til the end (masturbation, penetration)

word count: 12.5k

a/n: wrote this for fun between working on requests! thank you to everyone who sends them in, they're so good and i'm excited to post more soon! just another fluffy, angsty harry fic taking place in school w a hint of smut...kinda similar to my last one but thats ok ! as always not exactly book/movie/canon accurate i apologize !

it's your first day of your last year at hogwarts, and you're probably the only student here that's not completely thrilled to be back. young witches and wizards running around you in the halls with their robes dragging on the ground, completely in awe with each other at the architecture and moving portraits.

you have to admit, if hogwarts does anything right, it's the ambience. probably the only thing you'll miss after leaving this year is the magic castle itself, particularly the library and your dorm room, which have been your sanctuaries for the past 7 years. there's just no place in the world, even the wizarding world, you've found, that quite compares to hogwarts.

but no, unfortunately, not even the grandiose castle of every young wizard's dream was enough to make you want to stay here even a day longer than you had to. and trust, you were counting down the days.

there was a lot that went into your disdain for the school. after the war in your 5th year, nothing had been the same. sure, the building was restored to its original form and even had some upgrades installed, but the energy within the walls felt so…unsettling.

it had been more than 2 and half years since then, and most students who remember the war well had either graduated or moved on from it. you, however, continued to feel the effects of it every day.

you've had a lot of personal struggles since then mentally, which affects your social life. you've overheard your friends talking about how they don't feel like you're the same person and you inevitably bring them down. it wasn't long after that they stopped talking to you completely. you didn't bother to rekindle the connection; you were ready to leave this place behind anyways, what was the point in faking a friendship for another year?

even without all that, you truly just hated your classes. you actually used to be a scholar student in your day, consistently making the top of the headmaster's list every year until the war. and you still loved headmaster mcgonagall, of course, you don't think that'd ever change, it was mainly the other professors that gave you a hard time. once you showed signs of struggling and burn out, it was like they just completely gave up on you and moved on to the next eager, bright-eyed bushy-tailed 1st year to dote on.

no matter, because again, you were ready to leave for a variety of reasons. even if you had loved your professors and graduated at the top of the class, you still had no friends to celebrate with. and even if you had those so-called "friends" back in your life, you still felt completely alone with them.

and so you laid in bed, the same bed you've had for 7 years now, retracting the ornate trim on the ceiling like you have a million nights before.

you decided to look back at your schedule once more, floating the paper out of its folder in your bag and towards your open hand. you read through it slowly, but nothing had changed. pretty much the worst line up of classes you've had so far. particularly your least anticipated course, defense against the dark arts.

at this point, you'd had more than enough when it came to the dark arts. those death eaters nearly killed you in that war, and actually did manage to kill too many of your classmates and teachers in the process. you saw your second home crumble in front of you, classrooms you grew up in completely leveled and the bridge burned to the ground, so much death and destruction over nothing but power. you resented the dark magic in this world.

sighing, you set the paper down on your bedside table and roll over, attempting to fall asleep. you have plenty of early classes this year and don't look forward to having to wake up with the sun to make it to them on time.

you're wasting time in the bathroom just before your defense against the dark arts, your last class of the day, when your peace is interrupted by a group of girls who come in giggling and talking rapidly amongst each other. from inside your stall you can't help but tune into their gossip. it's the only thing you could hear and, who cares, you could use some good drama.

you tried to dissect their conversation but they were constantly talking over each other, squealing, giggling, and you couldn't understand a thing. after a few moments of craning your neck towards the door to get a better listen, one girl's voice stood out amongst the rest as she asked, "okay, but, who's going to try and flirt with potter first?" her question was followed by many desperate "me!" "me!" "me!"s, a wave of giggling following.

potter. there's no way…

the bells begin ringing, signaling your next class is starting soon, and the girls go rushing out of the bathroom together. you slowly open the stall door and walk to the closest mirror. pale, like you've seen a ghost.

they couldn't possibly be talking about harry potter, right?

just his name had become plenty famous in its own right. the boy who lived; the boy who lived twice. you hadn't heard his name mentioned in a long time, though that's not hard when you've hardly interacted with anyone here in a long time.

you remembered harry from your years before the war that you had shared with him. he was 2 years ahead of you, so it wasn't often you had the chance to speak with him, but he was pretty much as legendary as one student could be at hogwarts. however, whenever you did manage to have a conversation with him, you always thought he was cute. really cute.

okay, so maybe you had a ginormous crush on him your entire time at hogwarts. but so did pretty much every other girl. but you didn't just think he was cute, you admired his gentle nature and timid personality. despite his heroic and outright dangerous adventures, he was always so kind, so humble…

the bells begin ringing again, meaning you're now late to class. "shit." you mutter, grabbing your bag and stumbling through the bathroom door.

you're jogging to your dark arts class with a racing mind, still wondering why those girls would mention potter's name so randomly.

you turn the corner and see the classroom door is already closed. "shit." you mutter again, stomping your foot. now you have to open the heavy doors and draw everyone's attention towards you, quite literally the last thing in the world you want right now.

sighing, you push open one of the doors, making the loudest noises you've ever heard echo throughout the silent classroom. you walk in and, as expected, all eyes are on you.

you grit your teeth and close the door behind you, making your way towards an empty seat in the middle of the room. the silence lingers as your footsteps hit the ground, trying your best not to make eye contact with anyone. you hear a few snickers and whispers coming from behind, and you can already tell it's your old friend group. you roll your eyes, sighing as you drop your weight into the creaky wooden seat.

you hadn't realized, but headmaster mcgonagall was at the front of the room. you noticed once she continued talking, looking up to see her smiling at you. you returned it. you love how she's always liked you despite your grades slipping lately.

you quickly look back down at your hands as people begin to turn away from you, drawing their attention back to mcgonagall as she continues to introduce the class.

"like i was saying, class, we apologize for the change this semester and hope you'll be understanding of us as we navigate this situation carefully. i suspect you'll all be respectful and courteous to our guest as he donates his time to hogwarts and to you, our students."

you look back up, a confused look on your face. what change? what situation? what guest?

it didn't take you long to connect the dots. it's like everything was in slow motion. the girls talking in the bathroom, the guest, the reason all the front rows of seats in class were completely filled with girls…

"please, class, welcome hogwarts' very own, mr. harry james potter."

all at once, your eyes landed on harry, who had been sitting to the side, obscured from your vision by several girls and a pillar. as he walks towards mcgonagall, eager applause erupt from the girls and the boys offer mediocre claps. you're too stunned to react, watching harry intently as he shakes mcgonagall's hand with that same timid smile.

you can hardly believe your eyes. what is going on? why is he here? and how the hell does he look even better now than he did 2 years ago?

"thank you, headmaster mcgonagall," harry says shyly, turning to the students. his eyes immediately fall on you. you try to convince yourself he's looking just in front of you or even past you, but you can feel his stare into your eyes. its the only thing that breaks you out of your shock.

you blink a few times and slump into your seat, feeling your blood run cold at harry's eye contact. he looks down at the desk he's standing at and shuffles a few papers. you sink even lower into your chair. this can't be good.

"uh, well, hello…everyone," harry says awkwardly, earning some flirtatious giggles from the girls just ahead of you. "it's a pleasure to be here, really, despite the circumstances. uh, i'm sure as some of you know…i've been very close with the weasley family for years and feel devastated for bill– uh, professor weasley, that is," harry corrects himself nervously, clearing his throat and glancing at his papers again.

"and when he reached out to me personally, specifically me out of anyone, to teach in his place for this semester, i couldn't say no to him. so, while it's a real honor to be here with you all, please know it's just for this semester and then professor weasley will be back to continue with the lesson plan in the spring," harry explains, looking around the room yet always letting his eyes land on you specifically with a lingering gaze.

harry goes into the schedule for the semester, the skills you'll be learning, and, well, you can't really focus on what else because you're just completely lost in your own head.

harry potter, the harry potter, is your professor for an entire semester.

you were completely dumbfounded. he couldn't hardly be older than 20 years old at this point. he had only left hogwarts just 2 years prior, yet he looked so different. though the glasses and hair stayed relatively the same, he had matured in the face. a slight beard, defined smile lines, and he'd definitely spent some time in the gym…

seeing him in a button up with his old gryffindor tie on drove you mad. is he really getting you worked up in the middle of class by just standing there? you feel like you're 14 again, staring him down in the courtyard from behind a tree.

it doesn't help that you swear he keeps looking at you. specifically you. his gaze is unmistakable at this point, it can't be a coincidence.

you try to stop yourself from having these thoughts and physical reactions. if he's going to be your professor for an entire semester you have to get over this silly crush that was never going to work out anyway. though you're soon turning 19, it makes no difference if he's working with the school, it would never be allowed…

what are you even saying? as if anything would ever happen except in your dreams. all you're going to do is lust for him until christmas and then he'll be gone again, his name nothing but a spoken legend again.

before you can process all he's said, harry announces that everyone's free to leave once you grab a textbook from him. girls are immediately standing up and running to get in line, and the boys are rolling their eyes as they sluggishly follow behind.

you're inevitably the last one, getting a headache as you listen to girls try to ask harry all kinds of questions for a bit of his attention. he mostly just gives simple answers or laughs them off, referring back to the class or the textbook he was handing them in some way to change the subject.

mcgonagall eventually shoos the girls away, which harry thanks her for in a low tone. he hands a book to each of the boys in front of you before it comes down to you. as the boy in front of you is being escorted away by mcgonagall, you briefly catch harry putting the library card of your book inside the front cover before he closes it.

your eyes connect as he hands the book to you, but he doesn't let go. your heart instantly flutters.

"it's nice to see you again, [y/n]," he says softly, letting the weight of the book fall in your hands.

the way he says your name has you frozen in place. his pretty blue eyes have stayed just as mesmerizing. it takes a moment before you're able to wrap the book in your arms, offering him a friendly smile as you softly reply, "you too, harry…"

you're quickly making your way back to your room with the biggest, cheesiest smile plastered on your face. he remembered you. you had barely ever interacted with harry, only a handful of times as far as you could remember, and you were sure he had completely forgotten about you, or at least forgotten your name. you tried to chalk it up to him having access to the attendance records of the class and reading over your name, but you still felt like a giddy school girl skipping along day dreaming about her crush.

when you got back to your dorm, you set the class textbook down on your desk and went to turn around before looking back at it longingly. harry had just put the library card back in the book before handing it off to you. you were most likely crazy, but something inside you was insanely curious to see if he had done something to the card.

you slowly opened the book and took the card out, a blank piece of cardstock except for a fresh label printed at the top. you sigh, almost putting it back before seeing something on the card catch the shimmer of the light.

you give the card a curious look. you turn it in your hands towards the light, trying to see what's on it. before giving up in frustration, a thought comes into your brain.

no…

you dig into your luggage, still unpacked from the day prior, looking for your old ink and quill. once you find them you come back to the card, setting it on your desk as you open the ink pot. you dip your quill in the ink and touch it to the spot you noticed earlier.

as you watched, the ink collected into letters and numbers, forming a message across the dotted lines of the check out columns. you were stunned. harry actually wrote to you in disappearing ink? you thought you were delusional thinking it was a possibility, but here was the proof plain as day:

[y/n],

hagrid's, 8:30pm

harry

you kept rereading the lines over and over before they slowly disappeared, fading away into the paper. you stood back in pure disbelief. what does this mean? obviously it means he wants to meet with you, but for the life of you you just can't figure out why. you two barely knew one another personally, it had been two years since you'd seen or heard of each other again, and now he's secretly inviting you to hagrid's after hours using disappearing ink? as your substitute professor, too…

from 5-8 pm you mainly paced around your room in both lingering disbelief and unbridled excitement. though you had no idea why harry had invited you out in secret, you were anxious just to be in his presence at his request.

you spent forever deciding on your outfit, feeling a bit silly for putting so much effort into this suspicious rendezvous that you were still clueless about.

sneaking out had become somewhat natural to you over the years. you knew all the blind spots of the castle and could hear a prefect coming from a mile away. you were out of your room and walking down to hagrid's completely unnoticed in less than 10 minutes.

on your way down the hill, your mind is racing with possibilities of what this meeting could entail.

arriving at hagrid's hut, you admire the warm glow of the windows and intoxicating smell coming from the smoking chimney – a mix of wood and garlic. hagrid's pumpkins are just beginning to plump up, his yard scattered with overgrown vines.

as you walk up to the door, a wave of anxiety hits you. knocking seems like the most impossible task in the world all of a sudden.

you steady your breathing, let your heart rate slow, and knock before you have the chance to stop yourself.

a few seconds of some rustling can be heard behind the door before it swings open. harry greets you with a warm smile. no longer dressed for class, harry looks quite adorable in a comfy sweater and baggy jeans standing before you in the hut.

"[y/n], you got my message," he says, clearly impressed. you couldn't believe this was real. he really did leave you that note on purpose. just hearing him acknowledge it made your heart race all over again.

"i-i did," you say in shock, searching his expression for an answer to all your questions. why are you here?

harry gestures for you to come in. "well, join me, please," he insists. you politely smile and enter the hut, the smell of food making your mouth water immediately. "smells amazing in here," you comment under your breath.

harry closes the door, looking back at you with a shy smile. "oh, thank you. it's for us, actually." he tells you, nodding his head towards the dining table.

completely set up with a tablecloth, harry has food plated for the two of you on the tiny table, along with tea still steaming on the stove.

"if you don't mind, of course," he checks with you, his voice soft and unsure. you look back at harry, barely able to grasp what's happening before you reply, "of course,"

he suppresses a grin as he gestures to the table once more. "please," he prompts you. you hand him your bag and jacket before taking your seat at the table, admiring the food he prepared for you. you're still lost in thought when harry asks, "tea?" holding the kettle from the stove.

"please, thank you," you reply. he pours you both cups of tea before bringing them to the table with a smile on his face.

as you're eating you notice a record playing in the corner you hadn't heard earlier. it fills the space nicely as you both take your first bites of dinner. "hope you like it, i wasn't sure what to make," he says nervously.

wiping your lips with a napkin, you simply tell him, "it's lovely,"

after another moment or so, harry sits back in his chair. "so…[y/n]..." he sighs. hearing him say your name like that makes your brain fuzzy for just a second before he speaks again. "you're probably, um, wondering why…"

you stifle a laugh at his stalling, getting a hint of confidence as you interrupt him. "wondering why professor potter secretly invited me to have a home cooked dinner with him?"

harry goes still, his eyes searching your expression as a blush grows over his cheeks. he swallows nervously, blinking and shaking his head before attempting to respond. "u-um, yeah, that,"

smirking, enjoying his nerves, you wait for his explanation with your arms crossed and a raised brow. he clears his throat and diverts his eyes from your gaze. he takes a sip of tea before smacking his lips and looking back at you.

"i just, i haven't seen you…" he starts, eyes softening at you. "i-i know we didn't talk much, but…i always cared for you." the last part was hard for harry to get out, a weight lifting off his shoulders in the process.

you were blushing, but more than that you were sweating. this is like something you would dream about as a kid. hell, even just earlier today…

"when i saw you today…in class…" he seemed uncomfortable referencing that. "i just…a lot of memories came back to me," his hands move with him nervously as he speaks.

he sighs and stands up, his body language clearly stressed. you haven't said a word, you simply can't. what could you possibly say?

harry's facing the fireplace, his head in his hands. "look, i just, now that i'm your professor this semester i just think…" he takes a moment to find the words before turning to you. "i had a crush on you. okay? there. god damn it," harry huffs angrily, rolling his head back as he throws his hands down.

"i had a crush on you for like 3 years, it was stupid, and i don't want it to affect my teaching with you. so…i guess i practically set up a fucking date to tell you this, sent hagrid away for the evening for nothing…" he gestures to the table, sighing in defeat.

you're stunned into silence, to say the least. there aren't words to describe what's going on in your head at this moment.

after a moment harry looks back at you, his gaze softening once again. "[y/n]...please understand i wouldn't be telling you any of this unless i thought there was another way i could deal with it. when i saw you today…it was like i was 16 again," a small smile creeps onto his face before he wipes it away.

"and if i didn't tell you now, it's all i would've thought about when i saw you, so…yeah. there." harry says with a huff, avoiding eye contact with you.

before you can even process what's going on, your body reacts for you. you stand up, walking over to harry, getting his attention off the floor. he looks at you almost with fear in his eyes at how close you are. you sigh shakily before speaking.

"harry…u-um, professor potter…" you correct yourself. "please, just, harry…for now at least," harry insisted, his eyes apologetic.

"harry…" you say, suppressing a grin. "you don't have to worry. really…um, it was definitely mutual, to put it lightly…"

harry gives you a surprised look. "really?"

you roll your eyes, taking a step away from him and towards the fire, enjoying the warmth. "harry, you forget who you are sometimes. essentially every girl i knew had a crush on you at one point."

harry's a little flustered at this statement, also taking a step closer to the fire, and towards you. "i-i wouldn't say that, i was definitely not that lucky back in the day," he jokes.

"so those girls that were practically all over you during class today…?" you tease him. "'oh, professor potter, what can i do to get a good grade?'" you mock their voices, giving him puppy dog eyes as you lean towards him before laughing and turning towards the fire. "is that not luck?" you ask with your arms crossed, a smirk hiding your slight jealousy.

harry's silent for a few moments before you look over at him. you see his eyes dark and fixated on you for just a second before he blinks and shakes his head at you, also turning to the fire. "please. they're children. they crush on any slightly older guy they see."

you roll your eyes again at his denial. "some of them were my age, well on their way to being 19. but, whatever you say."

the fire crackles in front of you two, filling the space and creating a warm glow. "besides…none of them are you." harry says. you look over at him, and he's lost staring at the fire. he feels you looking at him and quickly corrects himself. "i mean, nobody was like you, at least to me, back then…" he trails off awkwardly, wincing at his own choice of words.

you adore his nervous antics. he's just the same sweet, timid boy you remember, except he's a bit taller with a 5 o'clock shadow and looks gorgeous in the glow of a fireplace right now.

"i've really mucked this night up, haven't i? i was supposed to tell you about the crush calmly and professionally, with no inappropriate comments, and send you on your way into the night with your first reading in the textbook…" harry sighs, giving you a pathetic look.

"well…" you start. "your first mistake was probably leaving me a secret note, and cooking me a wonderful dinner," you gesture towards the table. harry lets out a pathetic laugh, shaking his head. "yeah, probably."

you don't know why you feel the need to, but you instinctively grab for harry's hand. he gives you a surprised, scared look.

you try to reassure him with a soft smile. "harry, i appreciate you telling me. i hope it can make this semester easier for you."

harry smiles in return, but it's not genuine. he looks like he's holding back from letting you know how he really feels.

regardless, he invited you two to finish up your food, laughing as you both attempted to resume casual conversation without the awkward air.

surprisingly, the two of you naturally begin to talk up a storm, reminiscing on memories and catching up on what's happened since then. harry tells you about his career as an auror and his experiences that lead him to being able to teach defense against the dark arts. when professor weasley's wife had died of sudden illness, the only person he wanted to take his place was harry.

you're hesitant to tell him about your lack of eventful news, practically hiding your face in embarrassment as you admit that your grades have been suffering since the war.

harry put a reassuring hand on your knee, his chair pushed closer to you. you had both long since finished dinner and just talked, enjoying the fire as harry continued to feed it wood every so often.

you looked up at him, melting at how adorable his tired eyes looked through his glasses. "i get it. trust me." he tells you. his voice puts you at ease, and you don't feel quite as embarrassed as before.

"maybe this semester i could help you. if you'd like, of course," harry offers. you smile. "of course."

as you're slowly making your way towards the door to leave, harry watches you search through your bag to find chapstick. as you're putting it on, he continues to watch you. you sneak a glance at him, his face soft and full of admiration.

"you know, if i may say, in the least inappropriate manner possible…" he says with a laugh, causing you to laugh with him. "you have truly only gotten more beautiful after all this time, [y/n]."

looking over at him, you can feel your face form a cheesy grin with blushing cheeks. "well, thank you, that's very kind," you say, putting your chapstick away and taking another step towards the door. "but, really, i should be saying the same about you."

harry waves you away, but you notice the smile planted on his cheeks. "please," he says sarcastically.

he reaches for the door to open it for you, and finds himself rather close to you by accident. you smile up at him, and he nervously steps back.

"u-uh, thank you for coming tonight, really, even if it was a bit weird…" harry says, an embarrassed laugh following. giggling with him, you take a step outside. "it was nice. but, no more invisible ink. just ask me from now on, okay?" you ask, still giggling at him.

harry shakes his head at himself. "will do."

you give him a warm smile before reaching in for a one-arm hug, resting your head on harry's shoulder for just a second before pulling back. "i'll see you tomorrow, professor potter." 

enjoying the shocked and flustered look on his face, you walk away still laughing, making your way up the hill and towards the castle. you heard the door shut behind you quickly after you left, but could feel harry's lingering eyes following you through the window the entire way back.

that night you're laying in bed trying to convince yourself everything that just happened wasn't a dream. if it weren't for your full stomach and muddy shoes sitting by your door you might've convinced yourself it really was all an illusion. rather than dreading the next day of classes, you're actually excited to wake up as it only means you'll see harry sooner.

though you're not sure exactly why. yes you'd had a friendly conversation with him tonight after he admitted his feelings towards you, which still hasn't quite settled in yet…but what happens now? he's still your professor for the next 5 months minimum, and you both know you used to like each other. harry might feel better getting it off his chest, but you were perfectly fine keeping that secret to yourself like you always had. if anything, now it's the only thing you're going to think about every day.

rolling over, you try to fall asleep without thinking about harry too much.

it had been a few weeks since you met with harry that night in hagrid's hut, and things were going…okay, so far.

well, to be completely honest, you had utterly fallen back into your crush on harry harder than you ever had before.

and you tried to stop yourself this time. really, you did. working with harry in class and then stopping by his office at least 3 times a week for his help in other classes was a lot of time to be spending with a professor, and you rather despised just how fast harry made your heart beat or how easily his eyes could distract you.

so you tried your best to convince yourself it was lingering feelings from your past self, even trying to have a crush on other boys in your year to distract your brain. that failed miserably. none of those boys were attractive or interesting on their own, especially in comparison to professor potter…

but you couldn't fool yourself. you still felt the same butterflies seeing harry now like you did in 5th year. when he's talking to you in the quiet of his office, reading your textbook to you, you feel like the only two people in the world. when he fixes your hands to hold the wand properly, or moves your arm for you in the correct pattern to cast a spell, you can't focus for the rest of class. if his eyes linger on you just a bit too long during one of his lectures, a knowing smile growing on his face, you melt in your seat.

there was no denying it. you liked him more now than you ever had before. maybe it's just the sheer amount of time you've spent with him this past month or so, but your feelings for him had never been this strong in the past. there were days where he was quite literally the only thing you thought about, or at least wanted to think about. though you were doing better in your other classes, it was only because of him. you spent barely any outside time putting effort into these classes because, ultimately, you were completely distracted by harry.

and not just the idea of him, but particularly the growing tension you had noticed between you two recently.

you also tried to convince yourself that this was going on in your head. but there were just too many instances of prolonged eye contact, harry sitting a bit too close to you during your tutoring sessions, and lingering hands on your skin that made you question if harry maybe wasn't entirely over his crush either…

not that you tried to make it easy for him. since the semester started, you've been taking some extra time each morning to perfect your hair/makeup, put on your favorite perfumes on days you knew you'd be close to harry, and would even change your outfit completely when going to study with him outside of your school robes to give you a boost of confidence.

not that you needed the boost. lately you could only feel confident in yourself and nothing less. something about learning your life long crush who seemed so unattainable also had feelings for you, and could possibly still, made you feel untouchable. not to mention that any girl you heard talk about him or swoon over him in class just made you laugh to yourself; they had no idea you were with him alone for hours every week goofing off together as he attempted to help you study.

this confidence made its way into other parts of your day outside of harry as well. you were talking more in class, making a few new friends, even going to parties and outings just for the fun of it. you were actually enjoying your time at hogwarts instead of dreading every day. not all because of harry, but it definitely didn't hurt to consider him a friend.

a friend. a professor. an old classmate. a crush. a temporary fixation. your relationship to harry, in your mind, seemed so complicated and sometimes incredibly frustrating. especially when he seemed to flirt with you so subtly. you couldn't stand the, 'is he, isn't he' thoughts. but, at the same time, it just made you more motivated to push the limits to see how he responded.

of course it started with looking good, enjoying his reaction seeing you each day with a small smile and blushing cheeks. then it was making flirtatious jokes and purposefully giving him innocent looks while he rambled about whatever subject to get him flustered and distracted. and, lately, you've stepped it up by wearing shorter and shorter skirts whenever you stop by his office, and have even caught him looking at your legs a number of times when he thinks you're not paying attention.

all this to say, there was definitely tension.

you had to admit you felt a bit guilty, you knew harry valued his position as a substitute professor and was enjoying his time there, and you would feel awful if anything ever happened to cost him this position. he told you about his crush specifically to alleviate it, and your only goal this semester has been to do the opposite.

but, at the same time, you wouldn't act this way if harry didn't also create tension between you two. he also made overtly flirty jokes and comments, even seeming a tad bit jealous whenever you mentioned another boy during your time together. and you weren't stupid, you could tell when he wore the cologne you complimented one time when you were around or had even changed from his school clothes before you came to see him. there was definitely something unspoken going on between the two of you, but you were both afraid of crossing that line and making things complicated. besides, if anything, you both seemed to enjoy this game you were playing of teasing each other in private and then acting normally during class as student and teacher.

honestly, you found it to be insanely erotic, and were more turned on in class than any other time you were with harry due to the secretive nature of everything. his longing gaze as you walk in, his nervous glances towards specifically you, the shift in his voice from talking to one student to talking to you, it was all so subtle yet in plain view. something about wanting what you can't have only made you want it more.

on this particular day, you had been with harry for over two hours studying for an exam for a class you had been struggling with all semester, even with harry's help. you were frustrated, laying your head in your arms with your textbook in front of you, groaning as harry chuckled at you. 

"c'mon, [y/n], you've got this. i mean, you did just fine on this last practice test, better than you have all semester really," harry comments, pulling the paper out of your folder. you lift your head up, giving him a mean look. "i got a 75. barely." you deadpan.

"yes, and that's better than what you have been getting." harry stated, trying to hide a smirk. you throw a crumpled up paper at him. "stop, that's not funny," you whine, also trying to hide your laugh.

chuckling, harry stands up and walks towards the bookshelf in his office. "look, i'm just trying to be encouraging here," he says over his shoulder as he scans the rows of books.

you try to get back to your work, but you're just so utterly confused and upset that you close the book with a huff and lean back in your seat with an exasperated expression. harry hears this and turns to you, giving you a sympathetic smile.

he walks back over, picking up the book in front of you and setting it in your bag. "here, we can be done for today. it's not good to push yourself past your limit."

you sigh as you push back the urge to tear up. "sometimes i just feel so stupid," you say in a soft, despondent voice, staring off into the window across from harry's desk.

harry's watching you intently, and nearly drops to his knees as he crouches beside your chair and catches your eyes in his. "hey, you're not stupid. quite the opposite, actually." he says with a genuine voice. you look away, still not believing him.

"really, [y/n], and i'm not saying this as your professor. back in school i was constantly listening to hermione go on and on about your intelligence and class rank. she was incredibly impressed and slightly envious that someone 2 years below her was actually providing some competition at this school." harry says with a laugh.

you can't help but blush like crazy at this confession. hermione had been your academic inspiration for all of your time at hogwarts, and even still now despite your declining lack of effort. you'd had quite a few conversations with her in the past about classes and certain books or authors you both enjoyed, but had no idea she thought that highly of you.

mulling over this information in your head, harry continued to grab your attention with a soft smile and loving eyes. "you're not stupid. different things are harder for different people. you'll get there, and i'll help you. okay?" he asks.

you smile back at him. "okay."

slowly packing up to leave, you and harry both take your time to gather your supplies as you chat about your respective plans for the weekend. you casually mention a party you were thinking of going to. harry perks up at this. "a party?" he asks, a twinge of concern laced in his voice.

you give him a look. "yeah, ever heard of it?" you ask sarcastically, laughing to yourself. "i guess it's one of the slytherin boys' birthdays, or something like that," you wave off, throwing your bag over your shoulder. "apparently it's going to be massive,"

harry continues looking at you with a hint of concern. "well, just…be safe, yeah?" harry comments, his voice uneasy. you laugh at him again, looking at him incredulously. "yes, professor potter, i'll be careful," you tease him. you know harry gets a little squirmy when you call him that outside of class, and it never fails to make you feel powerful.

"besides, i heard the theme is dress to impress, so you already know i'm gonna look so good," you joke, flipping your hair dramatically. harry's tenseness breaks, letting out a chuckle. "well, still. just…be safe." is all he manages to say as you walk with him to the door.

saying your goodbyes as you separate down the hall, you can still feel harry's eyes on you until you disappear around the corner.

the night of the party, you were still unsure if you wanted to go. when a couple girls from class saw you and asked if you were going, they ended up convincing you to come with them. so, you got changed into a flashy dress that fit you well, fixed up your hair and makeup a bit, and met them in the courtyard to walk to the slytherin common room together. they obsessively commented on your outfit, telling you just how good you looked and letting you know you'd have no problem finding a guy to snog tonight.

but, you don't want any guy tonight. if anything, you were walking slowly through the hallways hoping by some chance that harry would cross your path and see just how good you looked. but you knew you weren't that lucky.

upon arriving at the party, drinks are immediately pushed into your and your friends' hands. they were right about the party being massive, as every square foot of the slytherin common room was packed with slightly tipsy students of all ages dancing to the loud music. you had barely finished your first drink before your friends dragged you over to do shots with them, wincing at the burn it left in your throat afterwards.

as the night goes on, you're eventually separated from all the girls you came with. not on purpose, some of them were playing drinking games, some were dancing, and one had even left the party with a guy she was completely into. no hard feelings, everyone was just doing their own thing. you had a few shouting-over-the-music conversations with a couple classmates and drank another cup of the mysterious alcoholic punch being served before deciding to head back to your room. you informed one of your friends, who asked if you wanted her to come with you, but you insisted she stay.

entering the hallway is extremely sobering. the loud music and colorful lights made it easy to ignore the growing drunken sensation, but you were now nervously navigating the halls of hogwarts, slightly intoxicated, attempting to warm yourself up with your hands over your arms. you hadn't even thought to bring a jacket, of course, so you were shivering as you made your way back to your room.

not long after leaving the party, you turn the corner and come face to face with another person. a boy a year under you, though you couldn't remember his name or anything else about him. you're a bit startled, not expecting to see anyone else, but politely apologize and attempt to walk around him.

"hey. you were at the party, right?" he asks, stepping in front of you to prevent you from leaving. you're slightly annoyed by him already, but your intoxicated state makes you bite your tongue. "yeah, just on my way back to my room," you try to end the conversation there, taking another step to get around him.

but he gets in your way again, stepping even closer to you this time. "what's the rush? y'know you had every guy talkin' in there tonight? sure would be nice to take home the prize," he slurs into your face, your nose scrunching at his alcoholic breath. god, this kid's way more wasted than you.

"excuse me?" you scoff, turning your face away from him. he tries to put his hand on your waist but you slap it away as hard as you can, causing him to wince and give you an angry look. "i suggest you leave me the fuck alone," you announce firmly, stancing your feet apart as you get ready to defend yourself further.

just as this guy's about to try again, this time his hands going for your neck, a voice from down the hall echoes loudly, scaring you both. "hey!"

you both turn, and it's harry.

"i would further suggest you leave her alone, mr. williams," he announces as he swiftly walks towards you. the kid laughs him off. "mind your business, huh, potter? this doesn't involve you," he continues to slur, looking like he wants to fight as harry walks up to him, chest to chest.

"it does now. leave and you'll be lucky i don't have you expelled or rather arrested for sexually assaulting a fellow student on campus grounds after hours, while intoxicated might i add," harry spits at him, his eyes full of disgust and rage.

the kid falters a bit, but the alcohol still has him acting cocky, getting in harry's face. "yeah? or what," he asks daringly.

you get between them and put your wand, hidden in your dress, against the kid's throat, making him stiff with wide eyes. "touch him and i will gladly get expelled for hurting you in ways you couldn't even conceive of in your fucking nightmares. do you understand? get the fuck out of here!" you nearly shout at the kid, causing him to turn and run.

you sigh a breath of relief, but quickly begin to feel the anxiety return as you bring your wand down and look at harry.

you can feel your body shaking with anger and fear, and also shivering from how cold you hadn't realized you'd gotten. your cheeks were flushed, your breathing uneven, and nearly on the verge of tears. harry's eyes were still angry, but he gave you a sympathetic look. he promptly took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shivering frame, enveloping you in a hug in the process. it's hard not to let the tears flow just a bit as you rest your head in his chest. you felt so vulnerable with him in that moment.

"here, let's get you back to your room, yeah?" harry says softly, turning your shoulders and guiding you down the hall. you realize you had sobered up during the ordeal, your eyes focusing and walking straightening out as you follow the corridors. once harry begins guiding you down your hallway, you slow to look up at him with a curious expression.

"how do you know where my room is?"

harry's a bit stunned by your question, searching for an answer before you began to think more. "and, wait," you stop walking and turn to him. "how did you even find me?" you ask breathlessly. harry continues to look guilty as he searches for an answer. smirking, you pull his jacket on you closer.

"professor potter, if i didn't know better, i'd say you were watching me tonight," you tease him in a flirty voice. "surely that's not the case, is it?"

harry looks around you two nervously, clearly starting to feel anxious for his actions. all you could do was smirk. you knew he still liked you.

harry sighs, avoiding your eye contact with a completely red face. "look, i just had a bad feeling about that party, okay?" he says simply. you continue to stare at him with a knowing look. "i couldn't sleep tonight knowing something could've happened to you. something like that fucking kid…" harry gets worked up just thinking about it again before stopping himself and calming down. "i'm sorry. it was wrong of me, and completely inappropriate."

your smirk drops into a soft smile. you can't help but feel your stomach erupt into butterflies hearing him admit he was watching you tonight specifically to make sure you were safe.

you softly put your hand to his cheek, causing him to look at you. he looks apologetic, concerned, and sad, his eyes searching yours as he slightly leans into your touch.

"thank you, harry." you say just above a whisper, your voice genuine and loving.

he sighs again, a bit relieved, a bit sad. his hand goes for yours, holding it for just a moment before he gives it back to you, letting go as he looks towards your door.

"well," he starts off, his voice cracking. "i'll leave you here for the night,"

smiling, you nod and take a step towards your door. you slip his jacket off of you and hand it back to him with a grateful, warm smile. he returns the smile as you're opening your door and waving goodbye at him.

as you're getting ready for bed, you replay the events of tonight over and over. you imagine harry watching you leave your room without you having any clue, meeting up with your friends, leaving the party in a daze, attempting to escape that guy before harry decided he had to step in and protect you.

you felt a bit silly for ever thinking harry's crush on you had stopped. even his subtle clues weren't very subtle thinking back now. maybe back in year 5 you assumed you were crazy for thinking he was looking at you funny, but now, nearing 3 years later, and learning he's liked you the whole time, you couldn't deny his longing gaze.

laying in bed, you decided you had to properly thank harry in some way for tonight, and you knew exactly how.

the next day, you paid a special visit to diagon alley with a friend to buy something special for harry. when she asked why you would ever possibly buy something like that for yourself, you make up some story about needing it for a class. she doesn't believe you, but goes along with it anyway and continues to have fun with you on your sunday out shopping.

you head towards his office in the afternoon when he usually spends his time grading assignments and working on the following week's lesson plan. you practically had his schedule memorized after coming to study with him so often.

softly knocking on the door, harry lets out a, "come in,"

you enter the office and he smiles at you immediately before it falters, his eyes then landing on the wrapped box in your hands. "surprise," you say with a shy voice.

he lets out a huff, looking back at you with a disbelieving expression. "[y/n]..." he carries off.

"it's just a little something," you say as you walk towards his desk, setting it down carefully in front of him. "a thank you, for last night," you tell him.

his eyes move back and forth from the box to your eyes, not knowing what to say. a few moments pass before he stands. "[y/n], i can't accept this…" he sighs. "what i did last night, i mean…it shouldn't have happened that way," he says curtly.

you tilt your head to catch his gaze, giving him a warm smile. "you did nothing wrong," you reassure him. you gesture to the gift. "please," you insist.

harry's shoulders relax, giving you an embarrassed smile as he slides the box closer to him, admiring the wrapping. "this is gorgeous, did you do this?" he asks, pointing at the sparkly ribbon and personalized name card. you proudly smile and nod your head.

harry admires it for another moment before carefully untying the ribbon and lifting the lid off the box. he gasps at what he sees.

a signed, hardcover, gold leaf detailed first edition defense against the dark arts textbook from his favorite auror. he had talked to you about seeing it at the bookshop but not wanting to spend the money or not having the place to display it or whatever his excuse was. you had taken note of this comment and when you saw it wasn't as expensive as harry had made it seem you knew it was perfect.

"[y/n]...you didn't…" he utters, practically falling back in his chair as he continues to stare at the cover. you giggle fondly at his reaction. "go ahead, open it up," you tell him excitedly. he can hardly move, but he eventually takes the book out of the box and admires it in his hands. he flips the cover open, sees the signature, and smiles. then, he looks at the inside of the cover and his expression drops.

"i had it personalized, if that's okay with you," you ask anxiously. on the inside of the leather bound cover you had a pressing engraved that said 'harry james potter'.

harry's in shock, his fingers running across the pressing softly. "[y/n], this is…" he trails off, continuing to admire the book as he flips through it, landing back on the inside cover, admiring his name once more.

"thank you." harry says, looking at you with so much love in his eyes it makes your heart burst. it was worth every penny seeing him in awe in front of you like this.

"well, thank you," you respond, smiling, holding your arms behind your back.

harry abruptly stands up, stepping around his desk and pulling you in for a desperate hug. you're a bit surprised, your arms wrapping around his waist as he continues to pull you closer and closer.

after a minute or so of the most comforting hug you've experienced outside of last night in that hallway, harry separates from you only slightly to look down at you. your faces are close enough to feel the breath of the other person.

you just want to tell him, 'fuck it, who cares, nobody's here, just kiss me, please, release this tension', but before you can even consider it, harry breaks the silence.

"i still love you," he says so softly, his face wincing as the words fall from his lips. your breath hitches. love?

"fuck," harry mutters, almost stepping away from you until you pull him closer to you, putting your lips close enough to his they're nearly touching. "please. kiss me. just kiss me. please." you practically beg, your hand finding its way to harry's neck.

"[y/n], we can't, i can't–" "just once, please, maybe it'll stop if we just, please…" you interrupt him, hoping he understands what you're implying, your noses rubbing together.

harry takes a few moments before practically whimpering as he connects your lips to his, wrapping you in his arms tightly. you immediately melt into him, letting the kiss consume you as your hands pull harry closer to you.

it only takes a few seconds before harry has you up on his desk, his hands gripping your ass under your skirt. the cold of the wood on your exposed skin makes you gasp, and harry's tongue quickly slips past your lips.

it's everything you imagined, and the fact that this is happening in his office is just making you even more turned on. you had played this scenario in your head so many times, and it hardly felt real once it was actually happening. and on the desk you spent so many hours at, pining over him and fantasizing him taking you like he is right now.

after a few minutes of making out and needy groping through your clothes, harry pulls away breathlessly. opening your eyes you see he's completely flushed, his hair slightly messy as he nervously takes his hands off you.

you awkwardly clear your throat, your hands falling to your sides and resting back on the desk. harry takes a step away, straightening his tie and fixing his hair. you hop off his desk and adjust your skirt.

the silence between you is awkward, but there's just nothing to say. the kiss only left you wanting more, of course, it was pointless to ever hope it would quell your feelings in some way.

"well," harry begins, his voice shaky and quiet. "that didn't work."

you let out a nervous laugh, coughing to cover it up. "yeah…sorry." you mumble.

harry sighs. "no, i'm sorry. i'm technically your superior, i shouldn't be doing this to you. leading you on, flirting with you, for fuck's sake, following you around after hours…"

you shake your head. "look, i'm not kissing professor potter, okay? i like you, harry. i've liked you since i was 13. i don't want to ruin your position here either, and i'll stop if that's what you truly want…" you choke up just a bit before swallowing it back. "but, just, please, stop blaming yourself. i want this, too."

the silence returns, harry clearly thinking over what you said as his eyes stare off beside you. you're anxiously shifting your weight, watching his face get lost in his own thoughts.

"i can't risk this job," harry says finally. "i don't give a shit about the money, pay me everything in the world i would still want you…" he mumbles. you feel your stomach drop at this sentiment. you want him so, so badly. but… 

"but…" harry says.

you smile at him sadly, knowing what's coming. "i can't let down bill, or mcgonagall, or any professors or students here who may actually still like me," he says with a dry laugh. "if we ever got caught, and i just know we would, and what would happen to you…i just–" "i know, harry," you interrupt him, taking a small step towards him.

he smiles at you sadly as well. "and i agree. it's not worth it. well, you're worth it, of course…" you say shyly, diverting your gaze before continuing. "but, it's too risky. you deserve to finish out this semester without that hanging over your head, y'know?"

harry stares at you lovingly, no attempt to hide his adoration for you in this moment. "you're truly incredible. you know that?" harry comments softly.

you respond by blushing and crossing your arms. he hums softly, his smile taking over his cheeks. "thank you, really, for everything, if things were any different, i wish…" harry stumbles. you smile at him again. "i know."

harry returns to his gift, admiring the book in his hands over and over before putting it on the bookshelf next to his desk. he admires it there for a while as well before thanking you again.

as you're getting ready to leave, harry stops you for a moment. "if you don't mind, i'd still love to help you in your other classes. and, just, remain friendly in general still, if possible…"

you melt again at his soft demeanor. harry's such a sweetheart it's heartbreaking. all you want is to kiss him again. it's all you've wanted since he stopped.

"of course."

it's the end of the semester, and you have mixed feelings about it. on one hand you're dying for a break from classes. you've done the best you have in years this semester, and it's exhausted you. but you're incredibly grateful, for a lot of things. your new friends, your rediscovered love for hogwarts and magic in general, your overall improved attitude and mentality.

with special thanks to a certain substitute professor…

harry. this semester was definitely a rollercoaster for you when it came to harry. though, towards the end, things fell into place a bit more as you both accepted and embraced your odd, yet effective routine. professional student-professor relationship in public; smitten, teasingly love-sick old classmates in the comfort of his office walls. nothing further than lingering hands, loving stares, and the occasional compliment towing the line of what's inappropriate and what isn't.

though the dynamic wasn't ideal, you grew to love it for what it was. a simple, longing love that wasn't exactly unspoken anymore, but sure felt like it each passing day as you both pretended that kiss never happened.

that kiss. you swear you think about it every day. you long for harry to grab you like that again, to slip his tongue past your lips again…sometimes, late at night, it's all you can think about. sometimes just the thought of it makes you need to touch yourself, remembering how desperate he was for you, the feeling of his lips on yours, sitting on his desk in his office, just the image of it from outside of your own perspective could bring you to your orgasm alone in your room.

to say you were anxiously counting down the days until classes were over and harry technically wasn't employed with hogwarts anymore was an understatement. though you hadn't spoken about it with him, you felt it was okay to maybe consider that he would want to continue things further with you once his substitution was over. you kept your guard up as you knew he could still be uncomfortable with it while you were a student in general. but a large portion of you was practically praying that wasn't the case. you physically couldn't resist him much longer.

you were staying on campus for christmas this year, mostly just to savor your last holiday here, but also to continue seeing harry if possible.

it was the last day of classes, and you learned you passed all your exams with flying colors. you showed up to dark arts class early to inform harry excitedly, and he congratulated you with the same level of excitement.

"i knew you could do it! i told you you were smart." he beams. "i am so, so proud of you, [y/n]."

you want to hug him so badly, he's helped you so much this semester, you wouldn't have cared enough to try and get these kinds of grades without his guidance. but it's too public, and the risk is too high, so you just settle on an awkward high five and laugh emptily.

as other students walk in, you both pretend the moment never happened, and you sit in your seat without looking up from the floor.

the class is simple and rather uneventful as it's mostly everyone's last class of the semester. harry actually hands out christmas cookies hagrid made for everyone, and they're mediocre in taste, but the designs are so adorable you can't resist finishing it.

harry gives you all a speech thanking the class for trusting him to teach this semester, and for being respectful of him and professor weasley's lessons. he talks about how he's always thought about being a professor, but actually ended up despising the paperwork, and just missed his old job, which caused the class to chuckle with him.

he dismissed everyone with a happy christmas, specifically towards you, of course.

your heart aches a little as you leave the classroom and head to your room. you're going to miss harry as a professor, even if it caused complications in other aspects, it was inspiring to see him be so intelligent, helpful, and supportive in class. of course you were biased, you always found him to be amazing, but something about watching him teach a young wizard how to do a spell correctly for the first time just made you admire him so deeply.

you decided to rest for the night, knowing harry would be here for at least another day to collect all his items and clean the classroom up for professor weasley. you could talk to him then, what exactly about you weren't sure just yet, but you knew you had to tie up these loose ends before they drove you mad.

the next afternoon, you're practically one of the only students roaming the halls. most everyone leaves the first day of break to go home, and by christmas there's only a handful of students left.

arriving at harry's office door, you admire it one last time. your little sanctuary away from the world.

you knock, but to your dismay, there's no answer.

you knock again, a bit louder, but still, nothing. you decide to peak in, and notice how barren the desk looks from afar.

fuck. there's no way harry's left without speaking to you first.

you quickly walk to the dark arts classroom just down the hall, hoping he's cleaning and organizing it, but find it empty and dark. your heart sinks. he's gone.

you slowly walk back to your room, deciding you'll grab your coat and visit hagrid to see if harry's with him there. you try not to let your disappointment overcome you, there's still a chance you could talk to him…

entering your room, you immediately head for your coat rack by the window. you start to slip it on when you hear your door close, knowing you left it open on purpose to quickly leave.

you turn around, and it's harry.

you gasp, immediately dropping the coat and running to him, jumping into a hug. he laughs at your reaction, but embraces you nonetheless.

"hi, love," he says softly, resting his head on top of yours. you could hardly contain yourself at the pet name. it communicated so much to you with so little effort.

you look up at him, barely able to believe what's happening. harry looks at you knowingly. this unspoken tension. it was going to be the death of you.

as harry begins leaning in, you crash your lips together with his, immediately engulfing him into a heated, wanting, needing kiss.

harry's more than happy to give in to you. it's clear he's thought about this just as much as you have. he finished all his professor duties as soon as he could so he could officially, finally, be yours.

you guide harry to your bed, pushing him onto it as he gives you an impressed look, clearly intrigued by your repressed desperation.

you crawl onto his lap, immediately pulling him back into the kiss. harry's hands are all over you, finally, after fantasizing about it every night in this very same bed for months.

the kiss is desperate, full of moaning and getting sloppier by the minute. harry's squeezing and slapping your ass so hard you whimper in his arms, your hands gripping his button up tightly.

"fuck, [y/n], need you so bad, please," harry moans into your kiss, his hands sliding up your back. you reach to take your shirt off, left in just a bra and tiny skirt, as you start untying his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

harry's staring at you with hunger in his eyes. "do you even understand how badly i've wanted you? you and these fucking skirts, you must think i'm stupid." he growls, pulling at the hem of your skirt. you blush and stifle a giggle, overwhelmed with how insanely hot you found this to be.

"think that's funny? you think it was funny when i had to stand in class all day and not stare at your perfect legs through your robe? anytime i gave a lecture and just looking at you turned you into a needy slut," harry grabs your hair, turning your attention to him as he unbuttons the rest of his shirt with his other hand. "was that fun for you, hm? did you enjoy teasing me all semester?"

you can't say anything. all you can do is nod. you were so turned on you could hardly think straight.

"i bet it was," he says, examining your desperate expression, his words dripping with desire.

he pulls you in for another kiss, and you help him take off his shirt. his skin was warm, soft, and his shoulders were broad. you moved your lips to his neck, leaving an obvious bite just below his collar to finally mark what was yours.

harry groans, his hands reaching behind your back to swiftly undo your bra. he helps pull it off of you, marveling at your chest. "beautiful," he tells you before attaching his lips to your skin. you hold his head against you, savoring the feeling and sight of harry leaving hickeys along the soft skin of your boobs.

his hand cups one softly as his tongue circles your nipple, watching you through his glasses as you melt into his hands. "harry…" you moan, your hand running through his soft hair.

he continues, starting to suck on your nipple softly with closed eyes, his other hand pulling up your skirt to feel your wetness through your panties.

you immediately whimper and lean into harry's touch, desperate for this for so long. "f-fuck," you stutter breathlessly.

harry smiles, taking his lips off of you to look up at your blushing face. "so wet already," he smirks.

you cover his face with your hands, embarrassed, giggling, continuing to further lean into his hand for pleasure.

he laughs and removes your hands, his eyes full of lust just looking at you in his lap.

"i need you, now," he insists, pushing you further onto his growing erection through his slacks. you let out a breathy moan feeling just how hard he is already. he's just as desperate as you've been for him.

"is that okay?" he asks carefully, watching for your reaction. you laugh a bit. "please. i've waited long enough." you joke.

you help harry take his pants and boxers off, as well as your skirt and panties, leaving you both naked in your room.

he sat back down on the bed, and invited you into his lap again. "just like this is perfect," he says, guiding your hips and admiring your body as you sit with his cock between you two, your eyes barely able to look away from it.

harry pulls you in for a kiss, his hands traveling over your body and stopping at your pussy again, his hand feeling just how wet you are. he moans into your kiss along with you and begins to slip his fingers inside of you, slowly, letting you react to him.

harry pushes further and further into you until you're practically riding his hand, your kiss barely kept together with you bouncing, desperate for more. "please," you insist, your hand gently grasping for his precum soaked cock.

harry smiles, gently pulling his fingers away before letting you guide yourself onto him. slowly at first, you enjoy the feeling of harry's cock stretching you open, whimpering as he watches you intently, his hands supporting your hips. eventually you feel yourself take him completely, your hips flush with his as you start to slowly grind your hips up and down.

harry's a mess, barely able to hold himself together just watching you adjust to his cock. your face twisting in pleasure, your soft whimpers, the tight feeling of your pussy squeezing around him, it was almost too much already.

"fuck, baby," harry's moaning, his hands gripping your hips for sanity. you can't help but giggle, you just love seeing him like this for you after dreaming about it for so long. he's so lost in pleasure already, his jaw slack and eyes dropping.

"i-i'm already, fuck [y/n], you're just so," harry can barely get the words out. hearing him moan your name so filthily motivated you to move your hips quicker, letting your tits bounce in his face as you continued to pick up speed.

"fuck, fuck, fuck," harry's panicking, you can tell he's already trying to hold back his orgasm. you find it extremely hot just how quickly you can bring him to this point. so hot it brings you closer to your orgasm with him, putting your hands on his face to look up at you.

"you feel so fucking good, harry," you tell him, your head rolling back in pleasure. he's in awe of you, his eyes memorizing every single inch of you as you continue to ride him.

"please, please, can you, um…" he takes a second between his words to moan. "please, can you call me professor potter…" he asks, clearly embarrassed by the request.

you rub his blushing cheeks between your hands, his question only making you more turned on. you loved knowing he was just as into the teacher/student dynamic as you had been.

"your cock feels so…so fucking good inside of me, professor potter," you moan, resting your forehead against harry's as you slow your pace, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of him.

harry's eyes roll back, sinful moans escaping his lips as his head falls forward, watching you ride him slowly as he begins slightly thrusting up into you. he looks back up at your eyes, exasperated. "i'm gonna cum if you don't stop," he quietly warns you, clearly feeling a bit guilty at his eagerness.

you smile. "please, please cum for me professor. i've been such a good girl for you this semester, haven't i?" you tease him. 

harry groans pathetically. "so, so good," his eyes are closed, his face twisting with each thrust. "then cum for me, please, give it to me," you beg him, your hands gripping his shoulders as you feel your stomach tensing from your own orgasm.

harry's eyes pop open, his gaze on you softening as his hands find your waist, gripping onto you desperately. "[y/n]..." he moans your name again, and you can feel yourself tipping over the edge. your pace becomes a bit slower as your legs start shaking.

harry moans as he starts to spill inside of you, the warm sensation fueling your orgasm as you both hold onto each other tightly, riding out your highs together.

after a few moments of slow grinding and weak kissing, you carefully stand up from your position on harry's lap. you guide him to your bathroom, where you help each other clean up, with a few more inevitable kisses and longing hugs along the way.

you get dressed into different clothes, and offer harry some as well. he declines, instead putting his clothes back on as he tells you he has to bring all his supplies back to his house.

you help him button his shirt back up and tie his tie before pushing yourself to ask the dreaded question you didn't want to know the answer to.

"so," you say softly. "what now?"

harry looks down at you lovingly, but he isn't quite smiling. "well, i'm no longer employed here," he states. you nod your head slowly, allowing him to continue.

"so, while it's not technically wrong, i'd still like to try and take this off campus, if possible," harry chuckles.

you give him a surprised look. "you want to see me again?" you ask quietly. harry can't help but laugh at you, kissing your forehead as he holds your cheek.

"you have no idea," is all he says before he leans in for another kiss, holding you close, knowing you're finally his.

[with-my-calamitous-love]

I CHOOSE YOU AND ME, RELIGIOUSLY

osamu dazai x reader

thoughts about how dazai would treat you

same premise as the chuuya + atsushi ver

inspired by guilty as sin

osamu dazai, who doesn’t really know how to love. you confuse him and challenge the equations in his head. who is a mystery to everyone, even himself. who is sure that nothing will fill his heart. who is easy to approach, but hard to love.

osamu dazai, who wonders if he’s allowed to cry. if he’s allowed to show any real emotion behind the walls and bandages he’s put up. who wonders if he- an absolute vile monster of a man- is allowed to love you. who wonders if he deserves anything more than death for what he’s done, for the demon he still thinks he is.

osamu dazai, who still tries to be a good man. who takes the words of his former friend to heart. who wonders when he’ll deserve to love. who wonders when he’s considered good enough to love you. who is usually so smart, so calculated, and so thoughtful, and who is at an embarrassing loss for words when it comes to you.

osamu dazai, who decides he’ll bet against the universe once again. who throws his life to the wolves and the ocean rocks if it means getting to hold you. who treats you like gold, whispering words into your ear he would never dare to speak to anyone else. “you’re not my first kiss, my first time, or even my first ‘i love you’ but you are the first person who made living seem possible for me.”

osamu dazai, who prefers to be alone. who knows thats what makes you different, because for the first time ever, he craves your presence. he wants you in his lap while he reads, who actively pulls you towards him when he sleeps, who kisses your knuckles before leaving for a mission, who returns to engulf you in his embrace when he steps into a home. who actually thinks of his apartment as a home when you’re in it.

osamu dazai, who everyone thinks is a womanizer, but is secretly a gentlemen. who knows chivalry like its his first language. who always opens to the door for you, slips his hand around your waist like a puzzle piece, who zips up all your clothes for you, who presses kisses underneath your ear while he’s at it, who reads you poetry, who teases you because he can’t help but love the way you turn pink, who somehow manages to keep the flowers he buys for you alive for longer, who knows everything about you, and who lets you decode his soul.

osamu dazai, who wants you to know him as well as he knows you. who tells you about his past, about his wrongdoings, about odasaku. who swears that the most human he has ever felt was when he was looking at you. who can’t fathom how you’re real. who lets you see whats under his bandages. how his heart swells when you kiss each one.

osamu dazai, who makes chuuya promise him to protect you should anything ever happen to him. who can’t stand the thought of you leaving, even though death was such a common feeling for him in his life. who tells chuuya you’re his everything, and trusts him to look after you. who can’t imagine another man ever loving you, but knows that chuuya is a man of promises, and will not let anyone touch a hair on your head once he’s gone.

osamu dazai, who thinks of you as way to die. who takes one look at you and recalls things that haven’t even happened yet. late nights, messy kisses, promises, families, embraces, heaven, sin, unraveling, scars, loving not despite but because. who’s heart is so full of you he can barely call it his own anymore.

osamu dazai, who thinks that even if its all make belief, and if he’s simply made you up, he’ll uphold his vows anyway. he’ll still come home to you with a kiss to your forehead. he’ll still always give you his jacket when you even slightly shiver. he’ll still read to you his favourite poetry, tell you his secrets and watch how you love him anyway. he thinks that even if you aren’t real, he’ll love you like his favourite storybook.

osamu dazai, who knows the world will crucify him anyway. who knows he’ll likely pay for what he’s done at some point. who knows the universe will catch up to him soon, even though he’s trying to be better. who thinks its okay if he gets what he deserves, even if its death, because he’s already seen heaven just by kissing you. who thinks that way you hold him is spiritually holy, who lets you haunt him stunningly. he vows to find you in another life, one where he can deserve you. a life where he an love you with no limits. who knows he’ll choose you, always.

[salemlunaa]

Hello sai! hope you're well.

I wish its possible to talk through dm because its kind of vulnerable but itll do!🤗

So, this past two years i have underwent a shift in my mindset. Granted, the void is still one of my main goals but it doesn't dominate my mind like it used to. the @luckykiwiii101 series that was posted before they left the community is why i am more focused on actually using loa instead of leaving my chances up to entering the void via lucid dream.

however... i cant help but feel like im never doing enough, and what comforted me with the void was that i was using methods, TONS of methods so i find it very hard to let go and accept.

Like, i want to enter it everytime i fall asleep but to have that trust that it is a fact is hard.

Its as though all the Edward art lectures and the countless posts im reading are telling me exactly what to do but it still doesn't feel enough yknow?

i get scared when I just live my 3d and forget my desires because what if it just doesn't change? how do i know im doing it right if im not actively doing something!

Everytime i feel fulfilled in my imagination, my 3d knocks me back down to doubt because it is right there. in front of me at all times. im not exaggerating when i say that i am living the same day everyday. wake up before sunrise, go to uni, do a lab go home and bed rot or study. repeat.

even imagining has started to feel like a chore because im not feeling anything, im numb to my desires but not in a fulfilling way.

and i think its because im over actually having desires, i want to have. i dont want to yearn, i want to HAVE it thats why i dont feel when imagining.

what should i do? what would you do in my position?

i, and a lot of people here, know what it’s like to have the 3d smacking you right in the face, repeatedly.

I will say it’s okay to doubt, don’t push yourself further into a spiral with the belief that you must 100% have faith, all you need is to remind yourself that it’s already done. You’re not living this life anymore, you’re a master of the void state (if that’s something you still want) it’s already happened

manifestation should not feel like a chore, you are so much more powerful than you know and and you can have anything by just speaking something or even thinking something into existence. No other methods needed if you keep the reminder in the back of your mind that your desires are already here.

Let’s say your teacher has your name on a piece of paper to do a presentation, no matter what you do whether you try and hide away to the back corner of the class, giggle while hiding behind your friends, go extra quiet so the teacher doesn’t notice you, your name is still on that piece of paper, it’s already done. That’s it, that’s all.

If you need help with reminders, i would recommend rampages on youtube, there are a lot of very useful ones for almost every situation. You can visualise your day and revise the life you live, this especially in the state akin to sleep is so powerful.

Remember you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to lift a finger or put any effort in, even mentally. The life you want is yours.

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

anyway a very enjoyable detail imo is how fords confrontation with stan in tots after he broke fords machine and his confrontation with bill after fiddleford saw bill's true plans are framed the same way, with a few tweaks so that they're not wholly identical

but what matters here is that stan and bill are watching something (innocence gap aside lmao)

ford enters (or has technically entered the room already) with intent of confrontation

ford's dramatic body language through out the scene + the way stan and bill are placed

and theres a bit of irony in the fact that despite being liars and conmen, both stan and bill are both being entirely honest in this part, with fords reaction ending up the same way. stan is explaining that he broke fords machine on accident while bill is outright gloating that he tricked ford into building the portal. they both are angling to get something out of ford here, with stan still bringing up treasure hunting and bill trying to keep ford under his thumb with the deal they made.

at the end of the day though, with ford not believing stan saying it was an accident and thinking stan is lying to him vs him immediately getting confirmation from bill that he was being played the whole time, the end result is the same: ford feels he's been betrayed by someone he deeply cared about.

so thats all pretty basic stuff right? like who hasnt realized that ford has trust issues. and tbh im just pointing out some basic cinema similarities thats a cool detail nonetheless.

but my fave part is how these are the ONLY times times you actually hear both stan and bill call ford sixer in the show itself

stan and bill are both the only characters to call him sixer, but we only see how frequent that is in the comics and tbob. the use of the nickname in ONLY these scenes in the show specifically was very deliberate to envoke how much this sucks for ford that he's been prevented from achieving one dream by one person he loves, only to have that same dream used against him by another.

imagine how wild this must be for ford lol. the time he confronted bill he is instantaneously thrown back in time by bill using the very last time stan calls him a certain nickname the very night he remembers being "betrayed" by stan. betrayal on top of betrayal is connected to that very nickname, so its not JUST a random nickname either of them couldve called ford (or bill couldve also called him poindexter and a whole lot of variations of nerd, but sixer is the only nickname among the two's list is the same. almost like rubbing lemon juice and salt to the wound atp which is really funny of bill.

tots and lmc in general also have some of my fave details on stans influence over ford in general. from ford quoting stan and copying his body language when HE gets abandoned by fiddleford the way stan thinks ford did with him

(and i say copy— this is no coincidental parallel because we know in tbob ford knows what stan looked when he was doing the "high six" part, so he's been paying super close attention to stan's departure the whole time despite closing the window curtains)

and my favorite arguably funniest one, when stan called ford a dangerous know it all in ddamd and ford (who btw was already behind the vending machine and youd think already went down in the basement), is SO peeved by that he was tossing and turning in bed over that in conjuction with all his bill related flashbacks. this is funny because for someone who was literally writing "TRUST NO ONE" in his journal, he's very upset by the fact that either stan doesn't trust him + thinks that way about him, no matter how deserved or that stan is definietly right about him being a dangerous know it all (and i do not see enough people point that out lmao) AKDHAKDGEU

[vxlentinescookies]

One-shot of (Jester) Shadow Milk cookie x (Princess) Fem Reader please 🙏🏻

Plot : The reader hates her kingdom because it ruled by the infamous greedy king (her father), later on her father hired a new jester and eventually the princess and the jester become close friend (they secretly like eachother) but king despise the idea that his daughter being close with the jester and is planning to do something bad.

I need yummy angst with fluff 🙏🏻

Also, we knew that Shadow Milk could easily destroy the kingdom, he's one of the beasts afterall-

→ ❛A rose in times of war❜

→ Pairing ; Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader → Quote ; ❛❛Do you trust me, my dearest?❜❜ → Genre ; Drama , Romance → A/N ; Here you go! I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it hehe

Once upon a time, there was a princess, caught in the claws of a greedy little kingdom. Her father, the King of the vast land, was greedy and infamous, often spending large quantities of money in parties and riches that could only amount to showing off his vast wealth. The princess was tired, exhausted of this behavior, so much that his father, in an unlikely act of love, hired the help of a handsome and great Jester, called—

“Shadow Milk Cookie, I know thats you you’re describing in the story…”

“Oh my dear (y/n) cookie, just allow me to have some fun!”

Ahem, long lost in the hills of earthbread, near Beast-Yeast, yet far away from most kingdoms, there would lie a kingdom, characterized for its poverty and power imbalance. Townsfolk would beg for a little bit of food, while the royalty boasted their riches and overabundance, this little kingdom was called Red Clover Kingdom. Ruled by King Clover Cookie, he’d become infamous in the chatter of his subjects and other kingdoms, due to his ruling with an iron fist and greed coating his words. Yet, despite all of this, one thing seemed to be clear, and its that he loved his daughter dearly. You see, the king wasnt always like this, there was a time where the king once was kind and full of life, but since the death of Queen Camellia Cookie, nothing but ruin and darkness had but befallen the kingdom. Consumed by grief, the King changed completely, fully submitting to the darkness in his heart and turning the kingdom into his own little playground, a truth he tried to hide from the Princess, whom he adored with his life as the only remnant of his wife’s legacy. 

Seeing the princess' saddened state, the boredom that leaked into her mind and into her life, the King came to a resolution, and that was bringing forth a jester, a companion for the Princess, said jester, was none other than Shadow Milk Cookie. Having infiltrated the kingdom as an attempt to escape from being locked out again by White Lily Cookie, Shadow Milk Cookie became appointed as the Princess jester, a job he relished in as it allowed him to partake into creating plays and making others laugh, but it also meant that he had to stay at bay, save he want to be found out, which wasnt that fun but he could manage. With that in mind, the relationship between the Princess and Shadow Milk cookie would slowly shift into one of friendship and comfort, as the Princess would find safety and a confidant in the jester.

“Shadow Milk cookie, you’re so funny” The princess would tell the jester once, laughing as he finished another of his puppet plays with expertise. 

“Of course I am, Im a jester after all!” He noted, and the princess couldnt do anything but laugh gently. 

“Of course you are” The princess would say with a smile, looking at the jester before thinking deeply. “And to think that when we met, I wasnt keen on you, you’ve truly surpassed my expectations, jester of mine… And Im grateful of that.”

Of course, the princess wasnt always keen on the jester. Thinking at first that he was a tactic of his father to keep her controlled, she would at first be coarse and harsh on the jester, hiding behind her fan as the poor cookie tried his best to make the royal laugh, but it was difficult. It’d take one specific parody of the royalty, presented only in front of the princess and some of her handmaids, to make the princess finally break into laughter, something that seemed to be unlikely, it seemed to finally have happened. 

“Right, that moment was quite precious, I hold it dear to my heart” Shadow milk cookie said with pride in his voice, holding a hand to his heart while another lifted his hat, and the princess couldnt do anything but giggle at his mannerisms “I mean it! Your laughter breaks my heart now, ahuhu…”

“Oh you silly jester” She’d say warmly, walking towards him to put a hand on his shoulder. “Truly, what would I do without you…”

Those words seemed to take Shadow milk by surprise, as he looked at the princess for long moments before simply smiling and hitting her with another one of his jokes, another parody of the royalty of the dark kingdom, and the Princess would hide her mouth with her fan as she laughed. Things were surely lively in her quarters, since of course, Shadow Milk Cookie couldnt afford to laugh at royalty in front of the king himself, oh no! Of course he couldnt, save he’d be sent away to the dark dungeons of the castle—And then the princess would be all sad and mopey, and that was something he didnt want to happen.

Silently, though, would their relationship deepen the more they spent together, the more they shared moments and laughter, it was something visible and palatable to those around them, the handmaids, the butlers, everyone but them. For the princess would keep on laughing, and the jester would keep on entertaining her. Knowledge of their feelings growing closer and closer together would eventually find the ears of the king, however, and nothing but anger would come from his lips as he thought of what to do. This wasnt meant to happen, he wasnt meant to fall for the princess, nor viceversa, but oh, who was he to say who the princess deserved? Apparently, someone because the next thing he did would be something that would mark the poor princess forever.

“An arranged marriage? B-But, father—”

“No buts! You will marry the prince of the kingdom of Rose Champagne, lest you wish to see that damned Jester suffer!”

With nothing else to say, the poor princess couldnt do anything but go to her room and cry inconsolably, seeing her life go down the drain as the King forced her to take a path she didnt want, to take the hand of someone she didnt love, it was all a nightmare, and as Shadow Milk cookie approached the room for the daily session with his favorite princess, he’d come to see the aftermath of a dark endeavor. 

“Oh Shadow Milk Cookie, my loyal jester!” The princess would cry out as she went to hug the cookie, who, dumbfounded, would hold her in his arms to soothe her. “The king, the king wants to marry me off!!”

“W-What?”

“Y-Yes, he wants me rid of someone from another kingdom, and I must abide lest… lest they hurt you…”

The words felt like daggers into his heart, as the cookie simply listened to the poor princess’ laments. And then, only then would darkness and deceit take shape and form inside of the cookie, feeling those old feelings resurface and take shape into the darkest of ways. He consoled the princess, then, the handmaids leaving the room to leave them both be, as the Jester rubbed circles on her back, shushing her down to a small slumber. Oh dearest princess, if only you knew how much this jester has grown to adore you, your smiles, your laughter, your voice and your overall self, then you’d know that somethings are only done in the name of love.

Deceit was the last name of Shadow Milk Cookie, and with the only truth on his lips being his love for the princess, he’d ideate a plan to get her out of there, and into the depths of Beast-Yeast. Carefully would plan a way to turn the handmaids against the king, the butlers, the cooks, the servants and the townspeople, which wasnt hard, as all of them already felt a certain way, less than favorable, about the father of the princess. Then, he’d call upon a riot, a riot to overthrow the king and lead to a better future for both the kingdom and the princess. And while all that happened, he’d steal the princess away, take her somewhere safer, somewhere deep within Beast-Yeast.

“Are you sure this plan will work?” One of the townsfolk asked, looking around the room as the jester, clad in a cloak, only smiled.

“Of course, I’m the princess’ appointed jester after all… Who else would know the castle better than me?”

That would mark a countdown that would end a fateful rainy day, deep into the darkness of the night, when the princess was sleeping, clad in a white dress, would wake to the thunder and the silhouette to someone in the balcony. 

“W-Who’s there…?” She’d ask, sheepishly as Shadow Milk would only open the balcony doors, extending a hand over to her. “S-Shadow Milk Cookie…?”

“My dearest princess, will you accept this jester’s dance this night?” He’d speak, then, with the warmest of smiles and the most devious of gazes. Truly, a meeting for a lifetime.

“W-What are you doing here, my jester?”

“There is no time to lose, princess, a riot is brewing within the townsfolk and the servants of the kingdom, we must make haste and escape while we can…”

“But…”

“Do you trust me, my dearest?”

Silence would fill the room for long moments, as the princess would think about what to do, who to follow. But deep within her heart, she’d run to Shadow Milk and hold his face in her hands, completing the moment with a loving kiss. It would be returned, gingerly by the jester taken by surprise, as he led them towards the balcony, and in a jump of faith, would they both fall in the middle of the rain into the garden. Roars and wrath would be heard in the kingdom as the beast known as Shadow Milk Cookie would take the princess away, stealing one of the horses from the stable to run into the distance. Loud galloping could be heard from one of the exits of the kingdom, Shadow milk keeping the Princess hidden under a spell of invisibility and the cloak she now carried on.

Legend says that the beast and the princess were never to be seen again, as one of the townsfolk would take over the kingdom as the newly appointed king. Nobody but the king himself, who rotted away in the dungeons would weep for the lost princess, save for a few handmaids, except those who had learnt the true plan Shadow Milk Cookie had for them.

‘I’ll steal (Y/N) away, I’ll bring her into Beast-Yeast, the safest part there is and…’

“Shadow Milk Cookie?”

It had been years since you left the Kingdom, since the titles of princess and jester started becoming meaningless between you both. You called upon him as he turned to look at you, holding his child in your arms in the middle of a clearing in the forest, where the morning dew illuminated you making you seem… angelic. Oh, how could he afford to lose someone like you…

“Yes, my princess?” He’d ask, walking towards you and cupping your face in his hand, he was much taller, much bigger, and yet, he held you like the most precious doll in the world.

“Food is ready, I was going to call you earlier but you seemed so stuck in your thoughts and I didnt want to interrupt that I…” You trailed off, feeling his finger dance around your lips softly. “... I love you”

“I love you too, my dearest”

‘... And I’ll make her my wife.’

[mcytegg]

because i am who i am (annoying abt ro always) i have this clip saved from when the orbital was being built of zam and minute very VERY briefly considering the idea that ro might betray them before ultimately brushing it off as "nah he wouldnt" and moving on.

now the interesting thing abt this clip To Me is that both minute and zam immediately discard the idea that ro could betray while mapicc is the one whos like "i could see him doing that", albiet very quietly which is why the topic is dropped so fast but i do find it rly funny and interesting that the person who arguably trusts/understands ro the most in the call (and on the server tbh) fully acknowledges that bc of who ro is, its entirely a possibility that he full betrays for fun or for content purposes while the two people who seem to doubt ro's loyalty and trustworthiness to anyone who Isnt mapicc dont consider the possibility of him betraying for more than 5 seconds max

the whole concept of "trust" on ls is just so interesting to me bc again . to older lsers, trust isnt abt never disagreeing w ur friend or teammate Ever and supporting every single thing they do, its about reliability and consistency in who u are. mapicc trusts zam, ro, and even spoke to an extent spanning across multiple seasons bc he knows them. he understands who they are, their morals, what they have fun w and what they need in a team, and their reasonings/logic behind the things that they do.

this is why he teams w zam in every season (bc he is reliable and fun to be around), why he always ends up teaming w spoke despite acknowledging that you should never EVER fully trust him if u have half a braincell (bc hes fun and mapicc knows what to expect), and why he Always ends up friends w ro in some shape or form (bc his loyalty and reliability is consistent when it matters most. he is also just fun LMFAO)

it isnt about always expecting them doing things he always like or what he wants, its abt the fact that he has fun w them. he cares about them, and they care about him in turn. he has spent the time w them to fully understand them which is why his relationship w all three of them has remained so consistent throughout the years— bc he always knows what to expect w them!! regardless of if theyre his enemies or his teammates or simply his allies, theyre people he is able to come to for fun and sillies no matter what bc they are his friends

like newer people (mainly derap and kab tbh) see the relationship older ls people have and want a relationship like that of their own but thats exactly why they havent had that yet. bc they dont understand How the relationship dynamic works on a fundamental level, they think its about unconditional support No Matter What and loyalty to one person and one person alone but its just. not that. like every player is their own person w their own thoughts, principals, feelings, and morals. like zam left team awesome and eclipse fed despite his very real love for both teams bc he couldnt agree w their morals. mapicc hated ro's teammates in s5 but never EVER expected him to choose or to leave his team to stay friends w him. like they are all their own people who have their own boundaries and the respect they have developed for each other throughout the seasons is why their relationships have become so stable and consistent throughout the seasons.

[snoringkitty1]

Aventurine boyfriend Headcanons

TW: Fluff, not proofread, Mildly suggestive content. Enjoy <3

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡.•

Aventurine at the beginning of your relationship is a flirty bastard, he'll tease you to high hell and leave you high and dry for his own amusement.

There is 0 initial affection, he's only in it for his entertainment or because he has something to gamble or get from you.

Kisses you with his eyes open, atleast at the start.

But gradually, when you realizes you won't be leaving because of his lack of effort, he might just soften up and start to let his guard down a little.

Though of course this is after a while, but you'll start to see the more vulnerable and faint side to him.

He'll become more affectionate gradually the more he begins to trust you with his feelings, though, it still might take a while. Patience is key.

He's still flirty no doubt, but now there's actually feelings and meaning to his words, and they aren't bluffs anymore.

His sense of fashion may or may not rub off on you..aka he forces you to wear matching clothes, it makes him feel special.

"Do i really need to where this..? Matching outfits are so tacky." You grumbled and adjusted the hat on your head before sighing and taking it off, running your fingers along the rim and raising a brow. "Well, you don't need to, but i would love you more if you did." He joked and fixed a few details on your jacket before taking the hat from your hands and setting it on your head. "You don't love me enough already?" You pouted and looked up at him. He smiled and shook his head, pulling you close for a kiss, his hands holding tight onto your waist as he trapped you in a kiss. "I love you~" He cooed softly and leaned back, "Some matching clothes won't change that." he assured and rubbed your cheek before stepping back and putting his hands in his pockets, "now~ shall we?"

The king of shopping dates, if you don't like shopping though, then the two of you will probably be having at home dates most of the time.

But don't think for a second he isn't buying the most delectable (and expensive) food he can find, because to him, if its clothes, food, hair, nails, you name it. He thinks you're a worthy investment (he just likes to spend money on you.)

Speaking of giving presents, thats simply his love language, because i reckon he feels like if he gives enough, then he won't have to worry about you leaving him.

That being said, he'll need a bunch of reassurance to stop giving random super expensive presents. He'll still give you some regardless but he'll tone it down significantly.

He comes off as the kind of guy who only gives or takes longer kisses, to me atleast.

He might use this to his advantage if he perhaps gets jealous, which i think happens pretty often.

But i think there's also a chance of him just absolutely demolishing you once you two are home behind closed doors.

Switch energy, but can and will top when he feels like it.

He'll let you decide the pace though, he doesn't want intimate moments to feel transactional.

Afterwards, i Dunno i feel like he'd just fall asleep with you, then take of you the next morning.

You rolled away onto your stomach..or tried to, the tight grip of a certain blonde kept you from moving too far away. When you let out an uncomfortable grunt though, Aventurine was quick to let go and sit up to check on you. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, smiling a little before closing them again, "I'm fine, i'm fine.." you mumbled softly, but that didn't deter him. He leaned down and kissed your cheek before getting up, you opened your eyes and sat up on your elbows to watch him, he disappeared into the closet briefly and returned with one of his shirts. "Here you go Darling~" he cooed softly and held the shirt out from you, his messy bed head framed his face nicely. "ah..thank you-" you smiled and put it on before flopping back again. "Anything else i can get you? I can order food, or make bre-" He paused when you pulled him close all of a sudden. "Just cuddle with me for a little bit.." You muttered softly, and He nodded, pulling you close again..and like that, you two were cozy and asleep in minutes.

Thanks for reading.