#and its an extension of them so i want to love every inch of it

[glorified-red]

Your majesty frothing at the mouth? Well I’ll be damned.

but the thing is … passion twists don’t last 💔 but I know box braids will last 1-2 months. Then again, then mfs hurt!

you could be talking about Havana twists, or maybe Senegalese twists

-knight anon

I could go on an entire rant about how much I love natural hair and their styles.

I actually looked into the braiding styles and wanted to learn how to do them because you never know. I want to foster so I want to do everything I can to make sure any person in my life feels seen and safe. Hair is just an extension of safety so 🤷‍♀️

And yes!! I actually think my favorite style is this one

Tbh they could be passion twists (they look like them). They're just so bouncy!! I wanna stare at them forever. I think women with this style hair just look like goddesses I'm sorry, they're so regal and everyone looks hot with them in.

Ugh 😩

Ngl, I know pricing and time is a huge thing when choosing hairstyles but idk which ones are more expensive or more time consuming. I just know that braids hurt and owie.

[luveline]

Can you write where the reader walks into James room and he's crying and its the first time shes seen him cry so she comforts him pls xx

thank you for your request! fem, 1.2k

James’ house is a sanctuary to everyone he’s ever met. There are scratches on the wall by the door where Sirius has thrown it open, long deep welts of ruin under a drunken hand, two best friends laughing to the bedroom where they share a bed. You’re used to Sirius by now, an extension of James you love and make room for, but waking up to the heir of the most noble family in London sleeping off a hangover with his face buried in your boyfriend's shoulder still surprises you. His snores never change. 

Then there’s Remus, the sweetheart, tracking dirt into the living room because he so often forgets he’s wearing shoes, distracted by a book or a thought he shares in half smiles knowing James will listen. 

You’re everywhere. In photos like the rest of them, in your coat on the hook, your clean washing on the stairs, your shoes in the bedroom cupboard. There’s a red smudge of your lipstick on the wall at the top of the stairs where James wiped your bottom lip and then used the wall to hang over you, kissing. He keeps meaning to paint over it, you know. He says the same thing every time you bring it up, a laughing, “I’ll get to it, you thing!” 

You’re used to smiles and sounds here. You aren’t acquainted with this. Sniffles from the bedroom, long, stringing gulps of air and the answering sob. It makes your chest flip. James hasn’t cried in front of you in a year of dating and two years of knowing him. James doesn’t even get pissed off unless it’s for somebody else. Something awful must’ve happened. You rush to find out what. 

In the bedroom, James is just sitting there falling apart. Just, sat on the bed, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking like an awful jagged up and down, like he’s hurting; the shock of it is in every inch of movement. James is beautiful in everything, skin and hands and dark, dark hair, but he’s hurting now as he drags fingers wet with tears through frizzing curls. He must have heard you coming up but he can’t stop, lifting his chin, an apology twisted in his mouth that he doesn’t say aloud. 

“Lovely, what happened?” you ask, sure you’re gonna fall through the floor. “What happened? What–”

You aren’t giving him time to answer. You need to know. 

“No, it’s alright–”

“It’s not alright,” you say, standing in front of him with stiff arms. “What happened, James?” 

“It’s okay.” He cries a little, sniffs, looking up at you with swimming eyes. “It’s alright, I’m just– it’s just– well, it’s just everything, I suppose, but it’s…” He looks down, his mouth twisting again in an apology you don’t want to take. He shakes himself. 

“James, what’s everything?” 

“Silly stuff.” James takes your hand. Telling, that a boy who’s spent his entire life looking after the people he loves would attempt to comfort you with tears still hot on his cheeks. 

You look down at his long fingers. 

James plays piano. He learned your favourite song for you before he’d ever asked you out, and when he’d played it for you, he’d played so beautifully you felt sick for days, felt sick every time you thought of him, but in the moment he’d laughed at your teary eyes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. Lovely girl, he’d said, laughing, I won’t play it again if you’re gonna cry like that.

You figure he must want comfort as he gives it, wrapping your arms around him to steer him toward a soft kiss, his hair like strands of satin under your lips. “Nothing that upsets you like this could ever be silly.” 

He pushes you away. Not without love, but pushing away regardless. He stands in the space you leave and wipes his cheeks with the backs of his hands. It’s nearly like he’s dancing. Just the way his arms move. But then he drops them and turns away from you, your heart plummeting to your stomach. 

“James.” 

“It’s not like that. I was hoping I’d be done before you got home. Should we go out for dinner or something?�� 

“James–”

“What?” he asks, smiling, at odds with his sad eyes. “Love, it’s really fine, I’m fine.” Love. You let out a long breath, chest a cold ache slowly warmed by his gaze. There’s care for you in every eyelash, but it still shocks you when he hugs you. “It’s okay. Sorry I scared you.” 

James. “Fucking hell, Jamie, I’m not scared, I want you to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”

He chokes on breath. “I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t believe it himself, a crack running straight through his words. “Sorry,” he says, sickly, kissing the top of your head as you’d kissed his. 

Clearly he’s not going to let you be the one domineering the situation, but that’s okay. He can kiss your head and hold you on the edge of too tight. You slip a hand under the edge of his T-shirt to stroke his back, until your hand is numb to it, and he’s sagging against you heavily. 

“You’re really not fine, I can see that much.” 

He’s quiet, but you can tell there’s something he wants to say. 

“But that’s okay,” you say, hand clasping his back . You pat a steady rhythm there as he sighs. “It really is. I don’t know why you think you have to be finished crying before I get home, but that’s not true. You can cry. You can cry buckets. Please don’t pretend you’re not upset because of me, I’d feel so bad.”

Something hot and wet touches your forehead. “M’sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for.” You pull back to pat his cheek. 

James stares at you. Tears well in usually warm eyes and get caught in the wet hedge of his lashes. You try to wipe them away before they can fall —you don’t wanna see your sweetheart crying. 

“Don’t frown,” he says softly. 

“I’m trying not to. Here, let me,” —you wipe his cheeks with your sleeve, voice a muttering thing as his skin pinks beneath your touch— “just get that there for you. Your eyes are red, Jamie, I hope you haven’t been upset for too long.” 

“No, uh. No, not too long.” 

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I’d like to know.” 

James’ face presses to your neck in seconds. He pauses, and then he sobs. That’s more like it. You stand there in the bedroom until your legs are stiff, and then you only move to lay him down in bed to be your little spoon. “It's not fine,” you say, your arm around him, the other playing in the swirl of his parting, “but it will be. You’re really too handsome for all these tears.”

“You think I’m handsome?”

He sounds sweet when he’s trying to make you laugh. You reach over him to kiss his hot cheek.  

[jjkamochoso]

Pt. 2 of Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death

Angst, Fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of hospital setting/devices

You can find the all angst ridden part 1 here!

One week.

That was how long it had been since Soshiro had seen your alluring (e/c) eyes, heard your infectious laugh, blushed at your gentlest smile reserved just for him. The past 7 days of you in a coma after almost becoming a kaiju meal had been devastating for him and the rest of your teammates. You had many visitors over the hours you lied completely still on your hospital bed, but you weren’t the only unmoving person in your room. Soshiro had rarely moved an inch from your side, only getting up to go to the bathroom. He couldn’t remove himself from his seat next to your fragile body in case you woke up; he couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone in such a vulnerable state anyway.

“They’re under the best care here, Hoshina. Go get some rest,” Captain Ashiro had told him on day 3, when Soshiro was sporting dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He respectfully refused, and Mina knew better than to fight with him right now—he was as stubborn as he was talented with his swords. Every time the nurses came in to check your vitals, they looked upon him and his sad state of being with sorrow, feeling awful to see the man in such despair. They had taken it upon themselves to deliver meals for him since they all knew he wasn’t leaving to eat. Even if most of the time the tray sat untouched, they took it as a win when a pudding or fruit cup disappeared.

Day 5 was the hardest for Soshiro. By that point, he was delirious from staying up practically all night in case you needed something. His typed reports stopped making sense, his brain nowhere near as sharp as usual due to the fog of grief that had settled in his mind. The steady beeps of your life support machine haunted his every waking moment, a perfect symphony of the anguish he couldn’t escape. Thankfully, Kafka had heard about his vice captain’s condition and visited that night, offering to take over Soshiro’s watch in case you woke up. Soshiro was extremely reluctant at first, but he knew that you and Hibino were close; he also trusted the kind hearted man enough to know he’d be there for you in case something happened. With strong hesitation, Soshiro left your sight for the first time in 96 hours, heading to the shower. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t wash away the feelings of guilt he harbored over your injuries.

If only I was faster, stronger… I could’ve been there sooner. Stopped the kaiju from ever sinking its disgusting teeth into you. What kind of vice captain am I? What kind of… person am I? How could I ever expect them to love me back if I can’t succeed in my one job of protecting them?

He let his tears fall freely, mixing in with the water from the shower head.

Day 7 was the point where Soshiro was just… there. He barely felt anything anymore, whether it was exhaustion, anguish, or anything else. He sat next to you like normal, gazing at your chest as it sank and rose with shallow breaths, but his eyes were glazed over in a manner reminiscent of a man without hope. The doctors didn’t have an estimated time for you to wake up. With injuries as extensive as yours, there was no telling when your body would be ready to start running on its own again. Soshiro didn’t know how to process that news; he liked seeing tangible results, and the fact that you had been hooked up to all these damn machines for so long and nothing had changed? It was pure torture to him. He found himself inching closer to you, if that were even possible, and he took hold of your hand with the softest of touches.

“I miss ya, y/n,” he whispered, bringing your hand to his lips. He was careful to not disrupt the IV as he laid a gentle kiss on your cold skin, savoring the sensation of doing what had wanted to do since he first met you all those years ago.

“Remember the promise we made to each other when we were young and dumb? Now we’re old and dumb,” he chuckled humorlessly, “and you still have to keep up your end of the bargain. You have to survive. I can’t lose you.”

He took in a deep, shaky breath. “I can’t lose you because I’m in love with you.”

It was like the world was playing a cruel joke on him—he finally garnered the courage to admit he had fallen in love, but the object of his affections wasn’t able to hear it. He let his head hang in misery as he kept your hand close to his face, eventually placing it against his cheek. He closed his eyes, wishing with all his might that you would wake up. If you died… he wouldn’t know how to move on from such a devastating blow. He knew this macabre scenario had a high probability of happening in this career field you two chose, but he always had faith in his and your abilities to stay alive. To say that faith had been shaken was the understatement of the century.

“Y/n, please. I can’t do this alone. I need ya back with me. You gotta keep fighting.”

Soshiro went to place your hand back on the bed when he swore he felt your fingers move against his own. His eyes widened in surprise as his heart started slamming against his rib cage. Was that real or just his imagination?

It happened again.

And your eyes opened.

He slammed on the call button, informing the nurses of your awakening before turning his attention back to you.

“So-soshiro,” you tried to say, but your throat couldn’t form any words.

“Shh, don’t say anything, darling, I’m right here. Always have been, always will be.”

A grin swirled with anxiety and relief was present on his lips as he looked at you.

After a few hours of tests, doctors checking up on you, and small moments to collect your thoughts, you were finally able to form coherent sentences.

“You sat here the whole time? Now I feel bad,” you said, a small frown gracing your features.

“Don’t feel bad. I didn’t want you to be alone, that’s all,” Soshiro told you, nervously scratching at the back of his neck. “Did you… happen to hear anything I was saying before you woke up?”

“What, like how we’re old and dumb and that you’re in love with me?” you said, trying your best not to laugh at his shocked expression.

“Huh? You actually did hear me? I thought that only happened in movies!” he whined, his cheeks tinged with red.

“No reason to be embarrassed, Soshiro. I didn’t know how to tell you but I’m in love with you, too. I have been for a very long time.”

Soshiro was looking upon you like you had descended directly from the heavens, his eyes gleaming with unbridled joy as his fingertips danced over your arm, tracing shapes in an intimate, comforting manner.

“I‘ve been so worried about ya, sweetheart, but now that you’re back with me, it’s like I can breathe again.”

You relished in the calm quiet of the room, basking in Soshiro’s loving presence. He was exactly the driving force behind you willing your body to wake up. You could never leave him to walk this world alone.

“I also felt you kissing my hand,” you said after a long bout of silence. “That was very sweet of you.”

“Guess all I had to do was give ya true love’s kiss to wake up?” he joked, his little fangs peeking out of his lazy grin.

“I’m looking forward to my real kiss when I get out of the hospital,” you replied, attempting to wink at him.

He leaned his face over yours, his breath leaving goosebumps in its wake. “If you want, I can give you a preview of it right now.”

You felt your pulse quicken and apparently so did the heart rate monitor you were hooked up to; the machine started beeping, alerting that your numbers were abnormal.

Soshiro kissed your forehead before sitting down again, smirking. “Do I make ya nervous?”

Now it was your turn to blush. “Watch it Hoshina, or I’ll have you admitted into the bed next to me.”

Soshiro burst out in his trademark laugh, grabbing at his stomach and wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. You could be given all the medicine known to man but nothing could make you feel better than the promise of being loved by the easily amused violet haired man who will never leave your side.

[n0cturn4]

Character: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: And so, under the incessant rain, you let yourself fall. Word Count: 777 Music: please love me - EASHA

The rain fell softly, painting Gotham's streets with its dull sheen. You were leaning against the damp brick wall of an alley, watching the water droplets slide down slowly, as if time had slowed so you could absorb every detail. The city seemed to breathe under the heavy mist, and the distant sound of cars blended with the soft murmur of the rain.

And then he appeared.

Jason walked toward you, the red hood now down, his wet hair clinging to his forehead. His gaze, always so fierce, now seemed to carry something softer, a tenderness you rarely saw. He was chaos in human form, the tornado you could never avoid. But in that moment, there was something in his eyes that made your heart race, as if all the stars in the sky had decided to align just for that encounter.

"You always choose rainy days to hide," he murmured, his voice rough and low, as if each word was a secret.

Your body froze for a moment. It was always like this with him – the intensity, the magnetism. You felt as if you were falling, even while standing still. But at the same time, there was a safety there, a comfort in the unknown that he brought with him. Jason’s hand touched your skin, his fingers cold, yet filled with an unexpected gentleness. He always knew when you wanted to run, when the inner chaos made the world seem too small.

"I... try to keep my distance," you whispered, fighting the urge to lean toward him. "But you always find me."

Jason smiled sideways, that smile that was a mix of irony and affection, as if he knew exactly what was going on in your mind but wouldn’t push you. He was an irresistible force, and you were the tide that always returned, even when you tried to resist.

"Maybe because I know what you need, even when you don’t."

Those words hit deep, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to disappear. There was no more Gotham, no rain, no cold surrounding you. There was only him. Jason. Chaos and peace, all in one person. Your eyes met his, and the intensity of that look made all the words you wanted to say evaporate.

"Jason..." Your voice faltered, carrying all the weight of the confusion he stirred in you. "I don’t know how... how this works. You and me. It feels... wrong, but at the same time, it’s the only thing that makes sense."

He stepped closer, and you felt his presence in a tangible way, as if he were an extension of your own thoughts. Jason didn’t need to say anything; he simply took your hand, pulling you closer. The smell of rain on both of you, mixed with the scent of the city, filled the air between you. His lips were inches from yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath.

"You never needed to know how it works," he said softly. "Just trust what you feel."

It was a simple request, but at the same time, the most complicated of all. Trust. Surrender to what was uncertain, to what couldn’t be explained. And there, under the veil of rain, you decided to give in.

Jason tilted his head, his eyes locked on yours, and then he kissed you. The kiss was gentle but filled with restrained intensity, as if he were holding back his own chaos so as not to overwhelm you with everything he felt. You melted against him, your hands clutching his leather jacket, seeking anchorage in that storm of emotions.

When the kiss finally broke, he rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily but in silence. The connection between you was palpable, something bigger than any word could describe.

"You make me feel like I’m falling, but I’ve never been so high," you whispered, the words escaping your lips before you could stop them.

Jason smiled, that rare and genuine smile. "Welcome to my world."

He pulled you closer, his hand holding yours firmly, as if he wouldn’t let go, even if you wanted to. "I’ll hold you," he promised, his voice low and sincere. "Even if you try to run."

And there, in that dark and rainy alley, you knew. Jason Todd wasn’t just chaos. He was the calm in the middle of the storm, the anchor you had always been looking for, even without knowing it.

"I’ll love you," you whispered, barely realizing you had said it out loud.

Jason laughed softly, the sound warming your chest. "I already love you just the way you are."

And so, under the incessant rain, you let yourself fall. Because with him, you had never felt so safe surrendering to the unknown.

[wherenymphsroam]

LUUUUUNNNEEEEEE :333

Got me thinking about Leon/Chris!!!

I want them 😭😭😭

MANDA !!!!

(oh my goodness this is so late we r gonna … ignore that)

but YEAH M STILL THINKING ABT THEM.

been thinking specifically abt…. like cuck leon. he will never admit it out loud, but he loves loves loves sharing his baby. loves watching and tracking every facial expression, every twitch and jump, every reaction as you acclimate to someone new.

but chris specifically? he’s squirming.

and fuck if he knows why, but there is just something about watching chris pull you onto his lap, onto his cock that pulls a whine from leon. and chris notices, of course he does — how could he not, Leon’s got you held against his chest. it’s like he’s fucking leon by extension in this position.

“try not to sound so jealous,” chris mutters under his breath, a strained groan as his pelvis settles flush against your cunt. it was no wonder why leon could never shut his mouth about you, your cunt was heaven.

“what’s that s’posed to mean?” leon forces a scoff, glaring up at chris through his lashes. it was almost cute, seeing the conflict etched over leon’s features. that furrow in his brow that begs to convey his attempt at preserving his pride. it still wasn’t easy, being honest about how much he liked watching the older man split you open on his cock. but you knew, if leons bulge rutting into your back had anything to say about it.

“come on now…” the older man chuckles as he hoists your thighs wider, thick fingers splayed firmly over your soft skin. “it’s about time we’re honest, don’t you think?”

chris’s gaze meets leon’s just as he pulls your thighs wider, wider until he’s sliding his hands to hold the backs of your knees, and he pushes. Pressing down until your feet dangle in the air, until your knees make contact with your chest, chris gives leon the best damn seat in the house. like this, leon is practically forced into seeing just how thick chris is, how much you were stretched around him. how fucking wet you are, slick glistening over the insides of your thighs.

“how long has she wanted this? huh?” Chris mutters, eyes trained on you. he’s talking to leon, sure. but everyone knows his inquiry is a double edged sword. his hips draw back, painstakingly so, ensuring you feel every damn inch as he withdrawals.

“told me all about hwo pretty she is, how fuckin- good this cunt is-“

and right back in he goes, pelvis mushing against your cunt once more. it’s obscene, the sight of the action, the way your cunt so eagerly swallows him back up. leon forces a hard swallow, doing his damn best not to audibly gasp when you keen beneath chris.

“I find it interesting you conveniently left out the part… about how greedy she is,” chris groans then, head bobbing with the effort of not letting it drop. he’s tempted to rest his forehead down on your shoulder, his body is screaming for him to smother everything you are, envelope you whole. but for the sake of leons view of you, he holds back. the satisfaction of watching leon see how you responded to him far outweighed the pleasured of taking what he wants.

“so tell me,” chris continues, biting back a growl. his voice is strained, his entire body tense. like a predator toying with its food, dragging out its eventual undoing.

“was this.. really your idea? or do we have a greedy little slut on our hands?”

I have emergency commissions open! please consider contributing/rb’ing :^)

[ikkosu]

Last one for you captain before I go off to bed 🫡.

Imagine you get pulled over, fully expecting it to be a normal traffic stop, nope, it’s prowl; he uses his holoform to arrest you blah blah blah. You’ve been kidnapped by him, and you’re in a secluded location and his holoforms materialized in the back of the car with you toying with your pants telling you how much he loves you and how long he’s been watching you.

💥🔥🔥🔥🔥HOW DO YOU KNOW IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS EXACT SAME SCENARIO COMPO💥🔥💥

But oh my gosh his holoform,,,HOT BUFF COP. he wouldn't be as buff as fortmax, but he's defn not as twinky as Roddy either. He's, like, the the in-between of the both of them with decent amount of muscles dear god (let me nuzzle your belly sir) 🛐🛐 I've headcanon my prowl Holo as sekingar because GYATT sir

ANYWHOO

prowl in his cop uniform 🛐 black sunglasses, and rolled up sleeved while you're on his lap, back against his chest.

While he's toying your pants , palming and kneading the sensitive spots that makes you whimper, he's breathing heavily, the crook of his nose is a soft nestle against the nape of your neck. And his lips suckle on the flesh, rolling it between his teeth as he murmers how good you smell.

And he talks about how you should use stop using the last bodywash you had on last week, keep using the recent one because its better.

The one that smelled like lavender. And, when you're silent with the dreadful prospect of how the fuck does he know that

Prowl just chuckles, "I know everything. Everything about you, you don't even know."

And soon, everything clicks together.

The missing undergarments. Your missing shirt. The strange cop car parking at the most unethical places you coincidentally always come across.

Worse, you remember meeting him once. And, you remember brushing off his darkly lit eyes and locked jaw when you're talking about a friend or anyone else in particular.

"Primus you're perfect. I want every inch of of that body."

His love bomb rant is occasionally interrupted by a groan as you squirm on his lap. The iron grip across your waist makes your ass rub against his very much hardened crotch when you move.

And Prowl feels it. His neck muscles strain when he grunts. Even if it's a holographic extension of his body, he feels it fervently and bucks his hips up for friction and you whimper.

Now, he's ranting in your ear. About his sleepless nights when his hands would glide up the slick shaft of his spike. About how your lips would feel so good against his member, throat gagging, milking down his transfluid.

"You don't know how many times I've hold back from breaking down that fucking window of yours, pipsqeak."

You live on the 13th floor.

And the only window across your bedroom balcony, is an abandoned building:'s. You suddenly remember the daunting feeling of spotting a shadow looming in that gaping hole. Blue flaring lights, dimming and skimming.

"Don't think you can hide from me."

[hangmanbrainrot]

stranger from the bar

a/n: this is an incredibly late submission to @callsign-phoenix's 1k celebration. thank you for your patience, lovely. <3

warnings: 18+ content, this is mostly just... smut, there's an extensive list of tags on the ao3 page but there's some big emphasis on a rank kink here, exhibitionism, unprotected penetrative sex, lots of swearing, and alcohol mention.

word count: 3.1k

summary: in which you and jake do something a little different after a night out.

pairing: jake seresin x reader

“Jake, Jake, Jake,” you panted against his lips, palms shoving feebly against his chest. “Jake, wait. Are we sure this is a good idea?” 

You sat back slightly in your position on his lap, to take in his expression. Your gaze darted between his kiss swollen, lipgloss smeared lips and the depth of the green in his eyes. They looked almost grey in the low light of the parking lot.

“We stopped making good decisions after your third gin and tonic, I’m just pointing that out. But I’d never do anything you weren’t comfortable with, darlin’,” he hummed lowly, brows furrowed as his palms smoothed up and down the length of your goosebump covered thighs. Your hips pitched forward, rolling against his almost involuntarily, and you couldn’t tell if it was the sudden rush of desire flooding back to the surface or the chill in the air that made you shiver. Your shirt laid discarded in the passenger seat where you were once seated.

You looked back to Jake again. All traces of artifice were gone. There was no facade, no arrogance found in his expression. Instead, a strand of blond hair had fallen from its position in his perfect coif, and it curled lazily toward the top of his forehead. You ran your fingers through the sandy colored locks almost on impulse, and the moan you earned in response when you gave the strands a slight tug surprised you. Definitely filing that one away for later. Your mind — and his — was slipping in and out of your agreed upon charade so quickly. It was hard to pretend the man before you was a stranger, when part of the reason why you craved him so deeply was because of the plain and unashamed intimacy between you. You looked at him with a quirked brow, but before you could remark on your discovery, he cut you off with an utterance of your name. 

“So what's it gonna be?” He asked, voice low and husky. He shifted beneath you, and every delicious inch of him pressed into you, right where you needed him most, even with his pants between you — a move that was no doubt deliberate. Your lips returned to his, aggressive with need. His fingers snaked up into your hair, angling you where he wanted you — where he needed you. Jake was so deceptively confident that sometimes it was hard to imagine he’d ever needed another person in his life, but then every time he got his hands on you, he was like a man starved. His tongue was deft, first swiping along the seam of your lips, then parting them like a man depraved. With your knees bracketing his thighs, you didn’t have much space, but it was enough to work with to grind yourself down shamelessly against his denim-clad thigh. He could no doubt feel the wet heat of your core, every time you rutted down against the coarse material once more. It was relief, it was something. The body of your skirt flared around your thighs, but you’d ditched your underwear long ago, so your arousal threatened to soak his pant leg beneath you if you weren’t careful.

“Jake,” you repeated in a shaky exhale, moving like a person possessed, with your head thrown back. You couldn’t stop the near incessant motion of your hips if you tried, desperate for friction, desperate for him, especially as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples. He had you tightrope walking that line between pleasure and pain, tongue laving over the skin his teeth had grazed just seconds earlier.

“You keep saying my name like that, I don’t know if I’ll even get you out of that pretty little skirt before we’re making a mess,” he said the words like a promise, whispered against the warmth of your flushed skin as he kissed his way up your chest.

So suddenly it almost hurt, Jake retracted and righted himself to look up at you, as if he realized something, and you whined in response — impulsively, instinctively. But you caught his eyes, and you understood. One of his hands raised to cup your face and the gold of his wedding band caught the light in the process. The pad of his thumb brushed softly along your skin, so softly you were almost ashamed of the way you were still writhing in his lap. Almost. He tapped your cheek three times in a row, and you instantly came back to yourself. This was a check-in. This was your husband.

“Color?” you asked as you went still in his lap.

“No, I’m green, so, so very green,” he said gently, almost shy, even as a chuckle bubbled up out of him. “But you didn’t answer me, and you said wait before, but I realized I didn’t wait, then you said my name so I felt bad and wanted to be sure.”

Oh, this man loved you. He loved you, loved you. And you knew it, of course, but feeling it right now in the soft, gentle cadence of his words, in the way he was studying you for even the slightest change in mood or disposition? It had you clenching around nothing, needy as your hands fisted in the fabric of the plain black t-shirt he wore. You used your newfound hold on him to all but yank him flush against your bare chest.

“Honey,” your lips pressed softly to the hollow behind his ear, delicate, as you murmured, “I am so sorry I worried you, but I am so fucking green.” 

Sitting back again, you took in your husband, your hands reaching up to frame his face as you explained, “I only said wait because I was, uh, getting into it, you know?”

More realization washed over his expression and even in the barely there moonlight, you knew his face was red — more because of your knowledge of your Jake, than your reliance on your eyes.

“You called me Jake. Twice.” He was practically pouting as he repeated the fact. You’d broken character. The feigned anonymity was, admittedly, part of what made your designed ruse so fucking attractive. 

“Sorry, sir. Won’t happen again, Lieutenant.” 

Just like that, your husband was gone, and in his place sat Lieutenant Seresin. 

“I know it won’t.”

White hot desire lanced through you, and you forgot all rational fucking thought, practically crumbling against him, but he drew you up again, until your chest was flush against his own. Your taut nipples brushed against the soft, though slightly worn cotton fabric of his shirt. The sensation was heady and overwhelming, barely on this side of just enough. Your moan was clumsy and unabashed when it fled past your parted lips. 

Jake sneered at the noise, lip curled in what you knew to be feigned disgust when he spoke to you. “You can’t even help yourself can you, little one?”

His hand pressed against your lower back, forcing you closer against him, and the same pleasure rocketed through you as your sensitive skin connected with his clothing once more. Your hips resumed their previous rhythm, thighs tightening around Jake’s own to attempt to assert some semblance of control over the erratic movements of your body.

“N-no, Lieutenant,” you panted, stammering through the syllables. 

You might’ve had enough shame to be embarrassed by your own whimpering, if Jake hadn’t started to flex and tense the thigh you were currently rutting against within an inch of your life. 

“Well, go on then, take what you need.”

Despite the fact that you had a slight height advantage from being seated in his lap, Jake was practically scowling at you in a way that made you feel deliciously small. He sat back in the reclined driver’s seat almost lazily, short of the tension he was maintaining in his leg for your benefit. But even as you moved, you didn’t have nearly enough space, and you were sure you’d have bruises from where you’d leaned back against the steering wheel. The whine you released was downright guttural — part need, part exasperation. You hadn’t even realized you’d shut your eyes until you had to open them to look down at Jake, when he let out a downright cruel chuckle. He already knew.

“What’s the matter, hm?” Both of his hands rested at the top of your legs, squeezing the supple flesh where your hips met your thighs — one of his favorite places to feel you. He used the hold to still you. “Use your words or you get nothing.” 

“Need you, please,” you practically chanted, your aching muscles propelling you against reason, struggling against Jake’s hold. “Need you s’bad.”

Your words were practically slurring, but you didn’t care. In preparation for tonight, you and Jake had abstained for a little while, so you were already well past ‘overstimulated.’

“Didn’t I tell you to take what you need?” A large palm closed around your throat, applying only nominal pressure — just enough to focus you — before he continued. “So why aren’t you? Don’t you wanna be good for me?” 

The smirk rested upon his lips told you that Jake knew exactly what your problem was; he just reveled in hearing you say it.

“Not enough,” you whined when he eased the pressure, thighs tightening in their positions bracketed around him. “Need you to fuck me, Lieutenant.” 

“Sweetheart,” he purred, head lowering to drop teasingly delicate kisses along the line of your shoulder. You didn’t miss the way he shifted beneath you, as much as your weight would allow. His slacks were drawn so tightly across his body, you were fairly certain that if you’d had the presence of mind to look down, you’d have seen his cock twitch. “You hardly know me. Plus, there’s not nearly enough room in this car.”

You knew what he was getting at, knew how desperately he practically daydreamed about fucking you bent over the back of his car — outside, where any and everyone could hear and see you. It was why you’d gone to a bar just outside of your normal stomping grounds. You were less likely to run into anyone you knew, and it felt like a fair but necessary compromise to allow your husband to live out his fantasy. Except now he wanted you to beg for it. 

“Please, Lieutenant, please,” you babbled, remembering to lean in to the role you were meant to be playing. “I, I don’t normally do this either, but please. I don’t even care if, if…”

Your pleading was clumsy, but if Jake had noticed, he hadn’t commented on it. Instead, he’d opened the car door on his side and ordered you to get out. When you reached for your shirt, to guard against the late night chill, he delivered a sharp smack against your cheek. It was a limit you’d previously agreed upon, but what you hadn’t expected was the primal way you moaned in response.

God, you were his. You were so fucking his. 

He got out of the car once you were steady on your feet, and before you could reach for him, he’d spun you around, pressing into you until you were bent over the trunk of the car you’d rented for your little expedition. Your eyes skimmed the parking lot — not crowded but certainly not empty, either. The perfect amount of risk.

“Color, sweetheart,” he said softly, teeth grazing the shell of your ear.

“Green, bright fucking green,” the words hissed through gritted teeth, as you struggled to push back against his hips. The erection currently straining behind his jeans felt like a fucking punishment. You’d do anything to see him, get your hands on him, and — 

“Wrists,” he barked, clearly settling right back into character.

“Is that an order, Lieutenant?” 

You knew Jake loved that you could dish it as well as you could take it, but the sharp smack he delivered your ass let you know that Lieutenant Seresin was not a fan. You yelped, upper half pressing closer into the car. Your nipples went taut against the metal, practically stinging from how cold it was. You couldn’t decide if the sensation was too much or not enough, before Jake was repeating himself — something he hated to do.

“I said wrists.”

“But Lieutenant, what if someone sees us?” You were probably laying it on thick, and while you knew Jake was too far gone to make fun of you for it, you wanted to hear the delirium creep into his voice; to know how absolutely fucking wrecked he was, and how very much your doing it was. Because while you were very much his, he was also very much yours. 

You heard the familiar sound of his belt and zipper, and then he was shoving up your skirt and using your own weight against you to press you tighter against the car. The anticipation was as delicious as it was agonizing. You wriggled your hips, just to do something, just to tease, and then — 

Jake groaned behind you as he began slowly splitting you open, pressing into you at a rate that was dizzying — both too soon and not quick enough; you couldn’t decide if you wanted more or less. The promise of that frenzied push and pull of him inside of you, hips stuttering with need. You were insatiable for what you already had. One of his palms collected both of your wrists in his grasp, pinning them together at the base of your back; the newfound tension in your shoulders, as infuriating as it was, only worsened the ache that resided deep in your belly. With his other hand now carefully coiled around the nape of your neck, Jake pressed your cheek against the back of the car with so much force, you struggled to keep your toes pressed into the pavement for balance. Even the brush of your bunched skirt at the top of your hips felt like too much; you were an exposed nerve, you felt turned inside out from the intensity of the pleasure licking up through your insides like flames.

And you were babbling, a short chorus of “oh fuck”’s and “right there”’s, when Jake finally spoke again: “Look at you, takin’ me s’good. Wish you could see, doll. Y’look like a fuckin’ dream.” 

Jake would’ve sounded sleazy if he was anybody else, accent pouring out thick over words practically hissed out through gritted teeth — but he was so fuckin’ smooth. You wanted to rile him up, too, to beat him at his own game, when you heard noise coming from the far side of the parking lot. For a moment, Jake stuttered behind you; clearly not expecting the sound, either. It was the brief pause in his movements that allowed your mind mere moments to clear, to process, to fight through the haze. Above, or perhaps through the sound of your husband’s soft pants, you could hear two people chatting quietly; they’d likely stepped out of the bar for a smoke.  

“Wh-what if they hear us?” You managed to mumble convincingly, though you were delighted by the thought, as was evident by the shiver racking your body. 

“Let them.” The words were a near snarl, sending more hot, unrelenting waves of ecstasy coursing through you. Your upper half sagged against the back of the car, mouth fallen open in a silent expression of pleasure. 

Behind you, Jake released his hold the nape of your neck, only for his fingers to twist in your hair to wrench your body upright. “Didn’t I just say let them hear you?” 

“S-sorry, Lieutenant,” you practically wailed, the sound unfiltered and needy — you knew what was coming next, and apparently so did Jake. Immediately, you felt a warm palm smothering your lips, to stifle the second, much louder noise that left your mouth as the knots coiled up within you finally snapped and unwound, and the orgasm rocketed through you. Your vision went white, and all sound faded away. Vaguely, you were aware of Jake, your Jake behind you, and the soft, slightly strangled noise he made when he finished, but you were too busy loitering in that in between feeling, part floating back down to your body, part tingling all over.

When the ringing in your ears subsided and you felt like you could finally hold your eyes open, you clued into Jake’s voice, whispering your name hurriedly. You could hear the sound of his zipper, the buckle of his belt, he was rushing. And then he was spinning you around, eyes searching your expression worriedly while he busied himself with fixing your skirt. It was then that you realized you were crying, or you had been, fat tears dribbling down your face as you sagged against the car.

With his shirt wrinkled and the flush of a fresh orgasm, Jake looked absolutely stunning, even in the low light — and you hated him for it. He framed your face in his hands, both thumbs capturing the stray tears as he heaved out a sigh. 

“You went so quiet on me,” he mumbled out softly, “I thought, I…”

You could only shake your head, then gripping both sides of his shirt to drag his warm frame toward you. His arms encircled you almost immediately, one palm smoothing up and down the length of your back while the other cradled the back of your head, where you were curled into your chest. You weren’t sure how long you remained that way, wrapped in his embrace, but it felt like centuries later that he broached the silence again. 

“So, I don’t know how much they saw, but those people from earlier definitely saw something. I think we should get going, babe.” In response to this, you whined and pressed tighter against your husband, your bare chest pressing against his, as if you could somehow get any closer. At this, he only chuckled, freeing a hand to open the back door to the car. It was a little awkward for him to move and bend, with you wrapped around him for dear life, but his hand reappeared a moment later with the sweatshirt he’d stashed back there for you. Before Jake had even gotten to work pulling the cotton material over your head, you knew it would smell of his cologne. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he said softly, his expression downright fond. Even as his arms dropped from you, his hand found yours almost instantly, to lead you to the passenger’s side of the car.

“Bath time?” you questioned, finally finding your voice again. 

“Bath time,” he repeated with a smile, dropping a kiss on the top of your head as he helped you settle into your seat. 

[bobeni]

  ⠀   ⠀   ⠀     ⠀ O22 ፧ GIVE IT TO ME ♡

✶ users! › a. hayakawa, m!reader.

✶ synopsis! › in which you show up to aki’s job with one thing, and one thing only, on your mind.

✶ wrdcnt! › 1,839.

✶ cw’s! › nsfw (bottom!aki, top!reader), implied shorter reader (sorry), sex onna desk, possible ooc (as always). stupid, very stupid. can’t say any other warnings.

✶ notes! › lowkey hate this, but i’ll post it anyway bc it’s been a long ass time since i’ve written on here.

  You and Aki worked two separate jobs, lived in separate apartments on different sides of the city一but that didn’t stop either of you from visiting each other, and to scope out each other’s workplace.

Well, that’s what you should’ve been doing when you arrived to the Public Safety HQ, but you had other, better plans in mind.

As you strolled down the extensive halls, casually greeting any passersby, you looked and searched until you found what you’d consider Aki’s office; you’ve seen the inside quite a few times as well. Usually to drop off his occasionally forgotten lunch and steal a kiss or two. But today, you showed up empty handed, pushing your way inside and allowing the chill of the tidy room to blow over you.

The sight before you triggered a stumble in your heart; there was your boyfriend, brandishing his form-fitting dark suit that you felt no shame in letting your eyes take in. But you noticed that his hair was down this time, and fuck, if you thought he didn’t look sexier you’d be lying through your teeth.

While you were struggling inwardly to maintain your composure, blue eyes snapped upward at the intrusion, but the stony clouds in them dissipated as soon as he recognized your familiar face.

With a soft smile pulling at his lips, Aki rose from his desk and strode over to you. Every step he took, though, your eyes followed一blatantly ogling his body and how each muscle moved, shifting underneath the tux as he used them to reach your side.

“Hey,” he called, his deep voice too sweet for your ears. Aki towered over you, his eyelids heavy with an acute fondness as he let your hand traverse his waistline to rub the small of his back. In return, he wrapped one arm around your shoulder and the other inched its way down to your free hand, fingers curling around it and effectively caging you into him, which you’d always allow.

Continuing to hold onto him, you smiled, letting your chin perch on his chest. “Hey,” you parroted, looking up at him through your eyelashes catching the way his cheeks subtly darkened at the look. But he must’ve caught onto your act because the blush was gone and soon he was skeptical, “So... if I didn’t forget my lunch and you’ve got nothin’ on you, did you just miss me? Or do want something out of me? Is that it?” The dark-haired man peered down at you, but your eyes were elsewhere.

Aki tried to follow your line of sight, “[name], love?” The endearment garnered your attention, but your eyes drifted down to his suit for what felt like the fiftieth time that evening. “What is it?”

“Nothin’ nothin’, I just...” you trailed off, now hiding your face in his chest. “I... I really wanna fuck you on your desk.” The declaration had Aki stuck in place, but you soon felt heat emitting from his body so you shifted around more to hide your giddy smile.

Not that that could ever stop Aki from noting your excitement. He sighed begrudgingly, “[name]. Is that seriously what to came all the way here for? Just to fuck me?” He tried to sound all scolding, but nothing could obscure the way his face burned with a pretty red from merely repeating your request; and how from your position, it did wonders for edging the stubborn tent in his slacks.

But you avoided mentioning that, for now.

“When you put it like that, you make it sound like it isn’t worth the bus fair.” You felt encouraged when he managed to chuckle at that. “Come on, Aki. You look too fine today to pass up the opportunity.” With every word you spoke, you placed chaste kisses on the man’s scorching neck, humming contentedly when the hand on shoulder roughly gripped the fabric of your sweater, and when Aki’s balance started becoming a bit unsavory.

A shaky sigh reached your ears, and soon enough Aki was backing the two of you to the edge of his desk. “Fine,” he murmured. “It’s already about my break, anyway. But just this once. I’ll go along with you. Quietly.” At the sign of a primise you smiled, kissing him, with a “thank you, babe.” But he steered you back in so he could properly reciprocate the kiss, you followed his vigorous lead and let your hands fall to cup his firm ass.

You swallowed up every lovely sound the taller man granted you, each soft moan making you harder and harder by the minute. But with one glance down, it didn’t seem like Aki was too far behind.

Undoing his belt, you disconnected your lips momentarily for a better task. Aki’s breath hitched his throat as his dark eyes watched you crouch to your knees, releasing the man’s dick from the confines of his boxers.

It was an angry, throbbing red; the tip greeted you with streams of precum that you gratefully lapped up, licking the underside of his girth before taking him in whole. A few choked moans and the hand that gripped onto your head only served as encouragement as you bobbed your head on his dick. He could be so sensitive sometimes but that didn’t make you enjoy making him unravel any less.

The next time you looked up at him as you sloppily sucked him off, you found that Aki had unbuttoned his shirt and loosened his tie, allowing for your eyes to greedily eat up the sight of his rosey pecs and sweat-coated abs. You moaned around his dick just as Aki released a groan deep enough to rattle your core. He covered his mouth in a feeble attempt to silence himself as your efforts drew him close.

But of course, you released his dick with a string of saliva connecting its eagerness with your puffy lips. Aki cursed but you moved up to soothe him with a kiss. “Any other time, I would’ve loved for you to come right then and there,” you feigned a sigh, pulling your pants and boxers down enough so your own hardened dick could be met with the chill of the air. “But you can’t come until I’ve gotten to fuck you stupid over this desk.” You fanned away wisps of his bangs as a flabbergasted Aki and his cloudy eyes looked between your own and your awaiting dick.

“Alright. Yeah. That’s fair.” Aki would never admit the pool of arousal that sat in his gut only got bigger. “So, how do you want me?” Even with his chest heaving and legs probably weaker than they’ve ever been, he still asked what you preferred.

You hummed, “On your stomach for me, please.” Aki nodded at the request, but the change of position did nothing to stop his reddening face as he laided across his desk, exposing his behind to you. But this is what you wanted, and he had no difficulty giving it to you.

He knew you were enjoying this, too一the way silence hung in the air for several intervals when your eyes were raking over his ruffled hair, his messy uniform and how it all just filled you with want. The dark-haired man looked to the side bashfully when you then lingered on the expanse of his ass. Although you didn’t want to get too lost in the moment, afterall you only had the man’s break together.

Digging into your pants’ pockets, you fished out a small bottle of lube. Aki’s mouth drops with astonishment, “My god, you fucking asshole.” And then he chuckles at the thought of you being prepared for this, but you shut him up with the feeling of that cold liquid coming into contact with his hot skin. He hisses as you lightly shush him with a kiss to the dimples in his lower back.

He shivers underneath you as the liquid comes drizzling down to catch at his tight hole. Lapping up some of it, you began to circle his rim with two fingers smirking when it twitches under your touch. Aki bucks against the desk when you finally sink your fingers into his heat, you didn’t care that your own face was burning up, but how could you when you wanted to feel that heat around your dick instead. Though you kept to the prep, easing your fingers in and out of him, matching each push with Aki’s faint little moans.

When he shuddered just right, you knew you reached that point, so pressed two fingers against it and chuckled as Aki tried not to moan to loud. He was pushing his ass back, aiming for more of your fingers but you refused; pulling the two digits out before Aki could get carried away.

You took the bottle again and coated your length in lube, giving it a few pumps as you aligned your hips with Aki’s. “I’m about to put in, Aki. You ready?” The man nodded and reached behind himself for your hand. “Of course I am. Please, just fuck me, baby.” He stared back at you, waiting and begging for you to do something.

You gulped and stuttered out a tiny, “will do.” Then you didn’t hold back, making quick work to slide past his entrance and onto Aki’s hot walls, moaning when he clenched around, molding himself perfectly for you. The dark-haired man bit down into his forearm to shield his moans, his knees almost turning into jelly as you made him feel much too full, and the arousal stirring up inside him becoming nearly unbearable.

Once you were nestled inside of him, you pulled out only to slam back inside一you kept up his pattern the sound of your hips meeting was akin to music. Aki let out little calls of your name the harder your thrusts came. You leaned over his broad shoulders to kiss at the nape of his neck, using a free hand to fist Aki’s abandoned dick. He nearly cried out at his, sloopily jutting his hips back and forth to match your actions, and you loved seeing the man’s unfathomable eagerness on full display.

“[n-name]一I’m, fuck, please一” Aki babbled, but you understood every word. Slowing your thrusts down as your rocked your hips, feeling yourself getting close to the edge as well. You didn’t stop Aki as his usually deep voice turned high when he cried, reaching his peak, you kept pump into him until you came inside, filling him up to the brim.

You two laid there catching your breaths. Letting the afterglow from the broad windows wash over you.

A sigh emitted from you as you came down from your orgasm, you sent a cheeky smile to Aki, who laid stiff as bricks underneath you.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad for a first, right?” The question only furthered Aki’s growing post-nut clarity. So instead of answering verbally to face embarrassing teasing, he kicked you in the shin.

꒰♡꒱ end note: i still can’t end fics properly sometimes so i will make a joke, sorry. anyways, ik it’s dumb as hell but this is all i came up with on short notice 💀💀 i have a better aki fic for later i promise.

but i still hope someone could enjoy even though i’m rusty lmfao

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Four

Chapter Five: Elegant

Three years before, Lorelei Morrigan had walked with Pansy Parkinson into Ollivander’s Wand Shop in Diagon Alley, helping her friend to find a suitable wand before the start of school. The two girls had been spending their day at Diagon Alley together, shopping for their school supplies alone after their parents had sent them out with more than enough money to get whatever it was they needed.

Both their parents couldn’t really be bothered to take them themselves. Lorelei had already gotten a wand about a week prior, when her parents had taken her to famously exclusive wandmaker Keiko Inoue, famed for her rather extensive collection of available materials.

Ollivander’s was the last stop on Pansy’s list, while Lorelei had already finished every stop on hers. So, she ventured into Ollivander’s with Pansy as mere moral support, knowing that Pansy Parkinson was often rather temperamental with those who worked in customer service.

The two eleven year-old girls walked into the wand shop to find that it was currently empty, apart from Mr. Ollivander manning the counter. The old man looked up with curiosity as they walked in. He seemed to immediately recognize them as he smiled to greet them.

“Welcome, ladies,” he said cheerfully.

“Hello, sir,” Lorelei said respectfully.

The wand maker nodded appreciatively. Pansy, however, unaffected by hesitation all her life, approached the counter eagerly.

“I’ve come to get my wand,” the dark-haired girl announced assertively.

Ollivander glanced behind her at Lorelei, who just smiled, fully aware of the experience Ollivander would be more than likely to have with her.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” the shop owner said with a forced smile, maintaining some sense of sarcasm in his compliance.

“I want something powerful,” Pansy announced with determination. “And beautiful, and effective… Something that can’t be beaten.”

“I’m afraid wands aren’t quite that simple, Miss…?” he stopped as if to ask her name.

Pansy rolled her eyes, offended by the fact that he didn’t recognize her immediately.’

“Parkinson!”

“Ah, yes,” Mr. Ollivander nodded with a certain regret in his eyes, “Of course… I believe I can find something suitable. One moment.”

He disappeared into a vast display of shelves upon shelves of wands, searching for one to offer to Pansy. Lorelei watched as she found humor in the situation, wondering just how badly this would go. She looked at her friend, finding that she still seemed rather satisfied with herself, as if she’d ‘won’ somehow.

After a short period of consideration, Mr. Ollivander returned with at least four different boxes, having found a decent amount of wands that might suit Pansy.

“Here you are, Miss Parkinson. Try this,” he suggested, pulling a shorter wand from its box.

“And what exactly do I do with this?” she demanded impatiently.

Lorelei sighed as she watched with her arms crossed, embarrassed by her friend’s behavior.

“Give it a wave,” the old man replied.

Pansy practically stabbed at the air with the wand, frowning as it yielded no result.

“What’s it made of?” she inquired.

“Aspen, with a core of dragon heartstring. Nine and a half inches.”

Pansy began aggressively hacking with the wand, until Ollivander interrupted, unable to watch any longer.

“Alright, alright, why don’t we try another one, hmm?” he suggested, taking the wand as Pansy just scowled.

He carefully returned it to its box, carefully taking another one from the pile of wands he’d selected. He found another, a longer, dark-colored wand.

“Perhaps this one will be a better match,” he provided, watching as she took it. “Chestnut, dragon heartstring core. Thirteen inches.”

As soon as Pansy took the wand, she brandished it proudly with a forceful flick. Lorelei looked up in surprise as one of Ollivander’s books whizzed up into the air, hovering at least two feet above the wooden countertop as he watched with satisfaction.

“Wonderful,” he remarked as Pansy laughed lightly in disbelief, looking proud and excited. “I believe a wand has chosen you.”

Pansy readily handed over the amount that Ollivander asked as she took her new wand, happy with the purchase. The shop owner eventually turned to Lorelei, who stood behind her friend.

“Will you be needing a wand as well, Miss…?”

“Morrigan,” she stated. “Lorelei Morrigan.”

“Lorelei Morrigan?” Ollivander stared at her, carefully examining her features. “Daughter of Eoin and Heloise Morrigan?” he concluded.

“Yes, sir,” she nodded.

The old man just smiled. “I remember the day I sold little Heloise Ackerley her first wand… How sweet she was, really...”

Pansy irritably rolled her eyes as soon as the conversation topic shifted from her.

“I haven’t actually spoken to your mother since, but she has grown into quite the elegant woman,” Ollivander recalled. “I’d be happy to help you find the perfect wand for you today.”

“Oh, I’ve already got a wand,” Lorelei told him, “But thank you.”

“May I ask the wandmaker?” he wondered with immense curiosity. “I’ve heard your father favors Gregorovitch, if I’m not mistaken…”

“My parents took me to Keiko Inoue,” Lorelei shared.

Pansy frowned, bored, as the look on Ollivander’s wrinkled face turned to awe.

“You… You have a custom Keiko?” Ollivander questioned.

“I do,” she replied.

“May I please see it?” he begged, immediately ashamed of his curiosity, “Forgive me…”

“It’s perfectly okay,” Lorelei promised, drawing her wand. “Here you go…”

She unsheathed her wand, handing it up to him as he took it even more carefully than he would one of his own wands, as if terrified to even scratch it. He nearly gasped as he held the instrument in his hands, amazed by the craftsmanship.

“Incredible. Absolutely exquisite,” he whispered. “I’ve never seen anything like it before… Potent, but elegant…”

Pansy crossed her arms as she waited for her friend.

“Made from cherry wood, I see. Thirteen and three quarter-inches. Quite elegant. Very rare in the west,” Ollivander observed as he held the wand in his hands. “And the core…?”

He carefully lifted it up to his ear, almost as if to listen to what it had to say for itself. His eyes widened even more as he listened.

“No. It can’t be,” he murmured, lost in the possibility, “It can’t be.”

He was petrified, as if with fear.

“Basilisk horn. However did she manage it?”

“It wasn’t cheap,” Lorelei explained. “But, when she handed me that wand… I don’t know. It’s difficult to explain, really,” she admitted.

“Please,” he said excitedly, “You must share with me. Please,” he pleaded.

“I don’t know. I just sensed it, you know?” she thought.

“Indeed I do,” Ollivander agreed. “That’s a very special wand you’ve got there… Treat it carefully,” he advised her.

“Thank you,” she smiled, taking it back.

Lorelei and Pansy left the store together, as Pansy demanded that they go and get something to eat. Just as the girls headed off, someone else appeared behind them, having been waiting in front of another shop. The young boy looked around nervously before entering Ollivander’s shop, looking only for one thing.

“Hello, Mr. Nott,” Ollivander said in surprise as he saw who he entered his store. “How can I help you?”

“That girl. The one who just left your store,” Theodore said finally.

“Miss Parkinson?”

“No, not Pansy,” Theo shook his head, “The other one. The one with the red hair. I’ve seen her before, but I don’t know her name.”

“Ah. That’d be Lorelei Morrigan,” Mr. Ollivander nodded.

“Yes! Her,” Theo realized. “Do you know anything about her?”

Ollivander studied him for a moment before providing an answer.

“I know very little about Miss Morrigan, unfortunately. However, I can say that I know her wand,” he responded thoughtfully.

“How would that help me, exactly?” Theo said inquisitively.

“Well,” the elderly man began, “Specific wands are said to be suitable to witches, and wizards, with different qualities. Such is the foundation of wandlore,” he explained.

“Wands can tell you about their owners?” the boy deduced quickly.

“That’s right,” Mr. Ollivander nodded, impressed by the child’s thoughtful and inquisitive nature.

“And what can Lorelei Morrigan’s wand tell you about her?” Theo asked him.

Mr. Ollivander thought for a while.

“Well, you see, Miss Morrigan’s wand is made from cherry wood. Rather uncommon, especially among English wizards, although certainly not unheard of. Cherry is a very fascinating wood. Prized among the wizards in Japan.”

Theo held onto every word he said with determination, trying to analyze every factor of the information that he was provided with.

“Many people see the beauty in cherry wood before they see the power, the potential. It has the potential to be a very lethal wood, especially when paired with a wand core of dragon heartstring,” Mr. Ollivander informed him. “The core of Miss Morrigan’s wand, however, is much rarer, much more powerful, and much darker than dragon heartstring.”

“What is it?” Theo questioned.

“Basilisk horn,” Ollivander said simply.

Theo looked up at him with a sparked curiosity in his eyes.

“Like Salazar Slytherin’s wand?”

Mr. Ollivander smiled, genuinely impressed by his knowledge. “Yes. Exactly so.”

“Does that mean she’s a Dark witch?” Theo asked in confusion.

“No. No, certainly not,” Mr. Ollivander assured him, “Wands are never quite that simple… Basilisk horn as a wand core would be more likely to choose an individual prone to more forceful, or aggressive magic, but Dark magic is not necessarily a given. Basilisk horn wands, as legend has it, supposedly only choose Parselmouth wielders, although I’m not convinced that this is true.”

“What else?” Theo prompted.

“Well… Basilisk horn wands are, I’m sure, fairly Dark in nature, coming from such a powerful Dark creature. The core is said to be highly powerful and highly intelligent in wands… I have heard that they can act with sentience, casting spells of their own accord in order to protect or serve their masters, and their respective agendas,” Mr. Ollivander recited his knowledge. “The basilisk horn wand would never choose a wielder who doesn’t strive for greatness… or, great evil, I admit. But at the risk of buying into old wives’ tales, the wielders of Basilisk horn wands are said to be less susceptible to most poisons.”

“Do you judge people by their wands?” Theo asked consequently.

“I wouldn’t necessarily use the word ‘judge’,” Ollivander considered. “But they do tend to be insightful indicators at times.”

“And what about my wand?” Theo asked him.

“Let’s see… Walnut, phoenix feather core… Twelve and three quarter-inches. Very pliant. You, sir, must be a clever and inquisitive individual, in my opinion,” Ollivander remarked candidly. “Walnut wands don’t choose unintelligent wizards.”

Theo considered this, seeming to be less impressed by this particular discovery than most would be.

“And, what would you make of both of these wand owners? Together?” he thought. “Their personalities interacting.”

“Well…” he said softly.

Ollivander took a while to consider the question.

“I’m not sure I’d want to imagine that,” he confessed truthfully.

-

Chapter Six

[enm-enthusiast]

The Exhibitionists' Club Ch. 7 - Sebastian Part 1

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Last chapter followed Sebastian's boyfriend Thomas entering a male arousal study for extra credit, and ended up being milked by his insanely hot anatomy professor, and now he confronts his lover with the possible desire to have sex with the older man...

Sebastian

"Wait...you mean professor, ass of a Greek God, Ethan?" I said in response to Thomas bursting into the dorm room and shouting about how much he wanted to fuck a professor on campus.

"...yes" he said, meekly.

His eyes looked downcast, like he was ashamed. My heart sunk in my own chest and beckoned him over to me. He closed the door behind him and practically jumped into my arms on his bed. As I caressed his soft, wavy black hair I worked out the words I wanted to say:

"Babe, your going to run into certain guys that you are extremely attracted to, its natural. Like, there's a few bros in my Frat I'd love to bend over but I know I can't not just because they're straight, but also because it'd complicate things too much" I said.

He looked up at me, those sweet and sad puppy dog eyes never failed to make my heart melt.

"I won't forbid it, but I do want you to be careful, okay? don't do anything to get yourself hurt or in trouble, you got it?" I said.

"Don't worry Seb, I have it all handled" he said, smiling so warmly I couldn't resist kissing him, his warm velvety lips inviting further exploration which caused a stir in my groin.

But....I had somewhere to be, I had to get back to the Frat house and clean up my room and study for the rest of the night before bed. So I reluctantly pulled away before I found myself pounding away inside him once again.

He had a slightly pouty look on his face as I got up, but I merely smiled in return and said "Don't give me that look mister, you were supposed to strip down as soon as you got home, remember? be glad I didn't spank you again as punishment" I finished and a deep blush flooded his cheeks.

"I'll let it slide this time, but next time that ass is getting both a pounding AND a spanking, and I don't think you want both in a row" I said, giving him a mischievous wink as I closed the door behind me and started down the stairs of Thomas' dorm building.

I didn't tell Thomas this, but I was having some problems with the Frat lately ever since I bested the president, a real prick named Eric at a strip wrestling match in the Rainbow Room. The whole thing happened because of pledge week where we had to do one dare no matter how bad it was, and the vide president had dared me to wrestle Eric but I got to choose the time, place, and rules.

Eric lost. Badly. He ended up naked before his entire frat, who made sure to take plenty of photos of their senior's humiliation. He had been so angry lately, he was pissing off everybody and by extension some people were avoiding me because I was the source of his ire.

I got the impression that many of the seniors and other officers had grown increasingly tired of Eric's antics, I felt they were waiting for the proverbial straw. Until then I did my best to avoid Eric when I could, even try to apologize for things going so far but to no avail and I got the distinct feeling that he was planning some sort of payback.

Thomas already had enough to worry about with all this medical study business (which I found kinda hot, in a way) that I didn't want him to worry about me, besides I could take care of myself.

I was completely lost in my own thoughts as I walked across campus towards the frat houses I passed by a few security patrols. I recognized a few since I had recently landed a position as a student assistant to help pay my college expenses. This time it was that cute, blonde twink named....Daniel? and a bigger, beefy muscle dad named Jack who filled out every inch of his uniform which never failed to make me drool.

I waved at them politely but moved on without speaking a word, I had precious little time left in the day. I began walking up the steps to my two-story frat house and to my surprise there was a lot of noise going on inside. I heard loud, angry shouts coming a male voice from the main living room and a few others shouted back in response.

I opened the door and walked in and suddenly I heard the words much more clearly:

"-should be here to defend himself, you have no right to just go through a brother's room without him present or reasonable suspicion of banned items" I heard the vice president James say, who was unusually a nerdy tall kid with glasses and short brown hair. He was the smartest guy here and everyone knew it, and if Eric wasn't your atypical "popular jock" he'd be president instead.

"I have every right if I have personally witnessed him smuggling banned items into said room, and because those items were indeed found in his room, he needs to be punished accordingly" Eric, I now realized, said.

I felt a slight sense of dread as I suspected who he was talking about and slowly entered the living room and all eyes turned to me, some in sympathy, others in indifference to Eric's latest bullshit. James was up in Eric's face, and the latter had a sinister smirk that grew wide upon seeing me enter.

"Ah, the guest of honor has arrived, tell us brother Sebastian, why did I find *these* in your room today?" Eric said and held up a bag of weed in his hand.

My blood boiled as I realized what he was doing, I was being set up! but I wasn't going down without a fight.

"What?! But I've never seen that before, did you find a lighter, a bong or anything I could use to smoke all that with?" I said, as a point of fact. Some of the guys turned to whisper with each other, they seemed split on the issue.

"It's not just me, I have witnesses who say they saw you bring this bag into your room, besides myself" Eric said, and smugly gestured towards another frat brother, a junior named Casey who was reputed to be one of Eric's rivals. He also pointed to another guy next to him, Henry who was another freshman, rather fresh-faced and right now he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else right now. I was starting to feel the same.

"Hold on Eric, first let's hear it from them personally before dealing out any punishments" James said, and gestured to the two guys to come forward. Eric seemed a little annoyed at James's interference but said nothing in response, letting the boys speak for him.

"Now, did you or did you not witness Sebastian smuggle this into his room?" James asked them both.

"We both did, he came home late one night after seeing that boytoy of his, me and Henry here saw him slip the bag inside his room, isn't that right, Henry?" Casey said.

I clenched my fist at the way he talked about Thomas, but instead I bore my eyes right into Henry's who could barely look back at me and flinched every time. He knew full well what he was supposed to say was a lie, I only hoped that his conscience was stronger than his fear of angering the frat president.

"y-....y-yes, we both saw him" Henry said, his eyes glued to the floor like he was a child being scolded by his parents.

"But...that's a lie! can't you see James? they're both up to something!" I yelled in my defense, my face red.

James looked at both of them for a few long moments, scrutinizing them and asked one final time if that was indeed what they saw and they both repeated their stories, word for word.

The vice president finally turned to me with a look of pity and sympathy, one that wished he could stop this but his hands were tied, and said "I'm sorry Sebastian, but in light of this...you need to be punished" he said and folded his arms in disgust.

"That's right James, and as Frat president it is up to me to determine what befits our brother's crimes" he said.

"Don't forget Eric, first punishments should be handed out lightly, don't do a repeat of last year or I swear I'll..."

"You'll what? Report me? I will count that as interference in the performance of my duties as president, and I'll be extending Sebastian's punishment to you if you do" He said, viciously.

"Fine Eric, have it your way, freshman clear out this is not something you'll want to see" James said, giving me one last look of sympathy and escorted the Freshman out. Some of the sophomores and juniors left too leaving just me, Eric, and a majority of the seniors.

"Alright Sebastian, as punishment for smuggling of banned substances your clothing privileges have been revoked for two weeks. Strip." Eric said.

My eyes widened and I couldn't help but laugh a little despite my rising anxiety.

"Excuse me? What the fuck do you mean 'clothing privileges'?" I said.

"You heard me Sebastian, when freshman are punished we take all of their clothes and force them to walk around the house naked except for when they leave, I won't say it again. Strip." he said, this time more forcefully.

I looked around the room and noticed that some of the seniors were circling me like vultures, Eric's little sycophants no doubt, ready to jump at his command if I disobeyed.

Realizing I was trapped, I reluctantly, and very slowly I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up over my head, exposing my bare torso to everyone. A few of the seniors grabbed my nipples and twisted them, I slapped their hands away and felt heat flush in my face.

"I didn't say stop, drop your pants. Now. Or we do it for you." Eric said, stepping closer to me threateningly, along with his cronies.

I held my hands up before lowering them down to the hem of my pants and started unzipping them and to my embarrassment and shock...I realized my cock was beginning to stir within my boxer briefs!

I didn't stop but I felt a sudden feeling of humiliation as these guys might just be about to see my fully erect penis...I tried to ignore it but as I lowered my pants down my legs and stepping out of them I was sporting a very prominent bulge which I was quick to cover up.

Unfortunately, Eric noticed.

"What you hiding there Seb? or what are you...*not* hiding?" He said, chuckling derisively, his cronies mimicking him. He stepped closer to me, and we were face to face, my own expression was defiant despite the redness and when he said:

"Drop the undies." He said.

"Come on Eric, please don't make me do this" I said and Eric was about to call his brothers into action when I stepped in and slowly, every so slowly I slid my last garment down my legs. I felt my cock springing to life and my fully erect cock slapped against my stomach and was already leaking!

I stood back up, fully naked as the seniors gathered up my clothes and I attempted to cover myself but Eric was having none of it. "No no, keep your arms at your sides" he said but this time I wasn't having it.

"What the hell Eric? I'm not showing you guys my dick" I said.

"Awww, he's shy, let's help him come out of his shell you guys, grab him!" he said and on command I had two guys pounce on me, grabbing my arms and forcing them away from my crotch, exposing my erect penis as each of them held my arms behind my back. My dick was 7.5 inches long fully hard, cut, and was a caramel shade of tan that matched the rest of my body.

"Wow, he's not so little after all, we might need to change that" Eric said and I whipped my head towards him on confusion.

Suddenly he slapped my hard dick, and I groaned as he did it again, and again, and again. Tears stung the back of my eyes as my dick throbbed with pain and yet somehow was still leaking precum.

"Ha, not so mighty now, are you?" Eric said.

"He's crying like a little baby!" One of the seniors said.

"We should shave him smooth, make him into a little bitch boi" another said.

"Quiet you two, no, I got a better idea in mind for him" he said and nodded to one of the other seniors nearby who ran off to get something.

"What are you going to do?" I whimpered and my face was flooded with embarrassment and humiliation as I stood there naked and exposed in front of practically half of the entire frat! and if they kept to these rules I'd be showing myself off naked to them for two weeks...

"Just completing your punishment dear Sebastian, don't worry your pretty boy head about it" Eric said, ruffling my hair.

The other senior came back with a small bag and and reached inside, my eyes widened in horror as I saw him produce a cock cage from it and hand it to Eric and renewed struggling against the guys holding me, my cock deflating to the point it swung between my legs as I did so.

"Eric, come on this is going too far now, stop this" I said.

"No dear Seb, I decide when we stop, now then, Taylor!, Pierce!, shave his crotch so the cage will fit better" he said.

I felt my anxiety increase a hundredfold, my heart beat thunderously in my chest as the two guys on either side of me let go and walked to the front of me and each of them took out small electric razors from their pockets and didn't waste any time in shaving my crotch, already I could feel my man hair being forcefully taken from me.

I started to realize just how much this was planned in advance, I hadn't stood a chance the minute I walked in here tonight. Now here I was, stripped of all my clothes, and was being shaved of all my pubes.

Their razors cut through my bush like a hot knife through butter, I looked down in abject horror as they kept moving my dick to reach around my crotch, the stimulation was getting me hard again.

I wasn't especially hairy, but it still took them a minute to shave my bare crotch completely smooth, all the guys proceeded to practically point and laugh which just made my balls shrivel up and my face flooded with shame and embarrassment.

"Where's your man-hair? wow, what a loser!"

"His cock looks like a kid's cock, not like a real man's"

"If he didn't have such a big dick, it WOULD be a kids cock!"

I heard guys shout from all over, and Eric picked up on that last one and said "Don't worry guys, time to shrink him down to size, this cock cage here is specially designed to absolutely restrict blood flow to your dick while allowing you to piss freely without getting it dirty."

"And just how long are you making me wear this thing?" I asked.

A bunch of the guys started shouting off random different lengths of time. Eric ignored them all until they quieted down and said "I think....a month ought to teach you to learn your lesson" he said.

"Eric...you can't do this!" I said in protest but no matter how much I struggled I couldn't stop him as I felt Eric grab my dick and begin to wrap the cage around my cock. I had gone soft again and before it had a chance to get hard, he fit the cage right onto my manhood and proceeded to lock it with a key that he wrapped around his neck.

I looked down and saw the cage was small, round and made of metal and like Eric said put pressure on the base of my shaft which prevented any sort of blood flow. My face flooded with red once more, as well as anger, but the guys finally let me go and I fell on the floor in surprise.

The guys all began filing out, some of them muttering 'loser' and 'bitch' under their breaths, and maybe they were right, Eric had won. Here I lay, my clothes and dignity stripped away from me, Eric gave me one last look of triumph before leaving me there, completely humiliated, and I was left to stew in my shame.

I slowly got up and tried to make it up to my room, as soon as I reached the 2nd floor I heard a voice behind me say "Seb, over here" and I turned to see James come out from behind a corner at the top of the stairs.

"Please James, I just want to go to bed before anyone else sees" I said and James gave me a flat look in response.

"Show me" he said.

I guess there was no point in trying to hide it, soon enough I would be the laughingstock of the entire frat, so I moved my hands away from my crotch.

"Wow, that son of a bitch really did it again" he said, chuckling angrily.

"Wait, what do you mean *again*?" I said.

"Eric did almost the same thing last year to a sophomore who embarrassed him, no one dared contradict his blatant manipulation of the house rules, but I couldn't do anything about it then, I thought as vice president I could...but its still the same now" James said, sadly.

"He is *not* getting away with this" I said, baring my teeth.

"I never said he would, but I realize I can't do it alone now, I'm going to need your help" he said, smiling slightly.

"Help with what?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet, but somehow Eric needs to be dealt with, play along for now until I can come up with something more, stay low if you can, but...I'm sorry I couldn't do more" he said, before finally walking away.

I walked the rest of the way to my room in silence, I decided I needed to trust James, he seemed decent enough and right now anything seemed better than Eric. I opened the door and my faint glimmer of hope was gone as I found my room stripped bare of any clothing, my cock cage clinked as I took the first step inside and just sat on my bed.

I looked down and the humiliation returned as I felt my smooth crotch and poked at the cage, I only hoped Eric would be satisfied by this, I just had to make it through the next two weeks and I'd get my clothes back at least.

I opened my phone, which Eric's cronies had left behind along with my wallet, and saw my text chat bubble with Thomas and thought about calling him, telling him what happened but right now I just needed to sleep. But as fitful sleep came, finally, I swore to myself that Eric would regret the day he messed with me, and by the time I was done with him he'll be remembered as the president who lost his frat.

End of Chapter Six.

Author's Note: Uh oh! the tables have turned on Seb at last as he finds himself at the mercy of Eric and his cronies, find out what else is in store for poor Sebastian as he faces the two most humiliating weeks of his life.

Keep an eye on the current timeline I have setup which you can see on my recent Tumblr posts, and in the meantime please enjoy this latest installment, and have a great week!

[studiofelix]

Little Guys that Look Like Me: Loving Myself by Proxy

There are few scenarios where a twenty-something with low self esteem would create something physical in their own image. At 20, I would have sooner eaten bird seed than intentionally made something to look like me. At 21, I found myself doing so, lovingly and painstakingly. It changed me.

It was a first-time-meeting-you-in-real-life present. I crocheted a small doll, no larger than four of five inches in height. I switched colors as I crocheted him, navy for the hair, peach for the skin, pink for the shirt, teal for the pants. I sewed a few flat pieces to his head to look like the fringe I had at the time and lovingly stitched “I <3 U” onto his chest.

It felt strange, blasphemous almost. In the same way young Catholics are told not to take the Lord’s name in vain, I hadn’t dared to create an honest and sincere depiction of myself since the 9th grade. And even then, the portraits that I had drawn at that point had a critical and angsty air to them, but in all fairness, can you really expect anything different from a fourteen year old?

My limited and self-deprecating journey in self portraiture had met its match: creating a simple, happy mini-me for someone I loved, a lesson in carefully crafted self image.

Anthropomorphism: assigning human emotions and traits to inanimate objects. This was a tendency I had growing up, have now, and will have for the rest of my life. It is carefully woven into my experience of growing up as a late-diagnosed autistic, my experience of navigating the world in a limbo state of partial understanding and uncertainty. The dolls, stuffed animals, virtual pets; they are often cast aside as unimportant and unworthy once a child has outgrown them. This makes perfect sense to the average adult. They are not human, not even animals. Their insides are plastic and polyfill and tiny, unsophisticated PCB; they do not bleed and die as we do.

But imagine being human and feeling those things so deeply and fundamentally without knowing why. Your peers are better than you; they make friends easily; they do not struggle to find understanding in each other. You, on the other hand, have had trouble—have been the trouble—in some capacity in nearly every interpersonal relationship you’ve had. This story is not new to you, reader—whether you’re the protagonist, villain, love interest, bystander—you just didn't know that you've been playing a part. I see these objects as extensions of my experience; I can’t stifle the thought of their plight.

I continued crocheting my mini-me, Pocket BF, as I called him. Suddenly he had a face, and this was what gave him feelings. I looked at him. I pet the side of his face as I sewed his hair into his scalp. “Almost done,” I said to comfort him. A mirror image of myself, but one that I now held inexplicable affection for instead of unremarkable, everyday disdain. I didn’t want him to hurt. I wanted him to be happy. He didn’t deserve to feel sad.

Despite this seed of self-love (if you can call it that), there was a disconnect. This love I had for this little guy that looked like me, confusing and paradigm-shifting as it was, did not transfer to my feelings toward myself yet. And as I wrapped Pocket BF in tissue paper, placed him in a box, told him he’d be out soon, and wrapped my gift to my soon(ish)-to-be ex-fiance, the spark of this near revelation would be buried for a while.

Obviously it didn’t work out. When you’ve been engaged for two years with no plans to get married or move in together or even to the same state, the writing is on the wall in a dull and uninspiring script, and it’s been there so long that the paint is starting to chip. Although I must confess, I do partially blame myself; there is a very specific intersection of youth, stupidity, charmingly trite dedication, and earth-shattering codependency that will possess you to propose to your long distance boyfriend of one year. He will dump you over text, the day before valentines day, almost exactly two years later, so don't make my mistake. You've been warned.

The absolute beacon of wisdom and mental fortitude I was (or wasn’t) at 21, aside, the unceremonious and, dare I say, absolutely out-of-pocket-cruel discarding of our relationship that he doled out a few years later devastated me. He’s not a bad person; I hope he finds happiness (and therapy. My God, I hope he gets therapy); I wish him well; etcetera. I coped the best I could, ruminated on everything I could have possibly said or done wrong, cried and cried and cried, standard breakup stuff.

One of the things that helped to carry me, though, was my special interest in a certain video game pairing. They outlived our entire relationship; they were there with me when it began, and they were still there as the rubbled ruin of it began to grow flowers through the cracked stone. I tend to pick a character that I see myself in and project onto them. My art of this character began as pretty on-model; he was very recognizable as his canon self with the only main differences being a matter of style, a few headcanons here and there.

This was at a time in my life where I had started to gain weight (think the freshman fifteen if it was a year later and also fifty pounds instead). Looking back on it now, this was only the natural course my body chose to take. The thing that no one tells you about testosterone therapy is that it quite literally turns you into a carbon copy of your father. My young, twink body softened into a round ball of a belly. My hairline began to recede. What I believed was the result of these objectively neutral changes was actually the result of deeply rooted, internalized fatphobia and a general fear of aging.

I so badly wished to be skinny again. I wished to look like my favorite character again. I wanted it so viscerally that I shuffled through diet attempts and would-be exercise programs in a desperate Hail Mary for a fleeting look akin to a starving Victorian boy.

In one of my nearly daily bouts of self-pity, I said out loud that I wished I could draw Felix, this character I loved and saw as myself, as fat. I had started drawing his partner (well, the character who should have been his partner) as fat, and I was able to get away with it without much pushback from the fandom. And then I had the cartoonishly obvious realization that actually, I could draw whatever the hell I want literally for the rest of my life.

This, honest to God, changed my life. No longer was I drawing this character as the unattainably skinny little twink I wished to be. I drew him to look like me. I gave him rolls and a stomach that protruded out past his waistline. Later on, I’d start drawing him with freckles and a receding hairline as well, hair on his shoulders, round cheeks.

I drew him loved. I drew him happy. I drew him confident in his body and in the space he took up. Broadly speaking, it wasn’t received well. I lost most of my engagement and a lot of my Twitter audience. A hoard of people whose fatphobia was conditional but still there; you could make some characters fat without a problem, but touch the designated fandom twink, and you might as well have deleted your account.

What came from this petty loss, though, were a select few who loved my Felix. A handful of people who felt seen by my art, seen by the care with which I drew these characters, with the realism of fat bodies drawn lovingly—not realism in the sense of style but realism in the sense of believability. I drew (and still draw) them so they feel real. I draw them in a way that I hope makes people like me feel at home.

This healed my self-image by leaps and bounds. Despite the discretely sour reaction I got from most of Twitter, I did find brief and minor Tiktok fame from making tutorials about how to draw fat people. When I draw Felix and Sylvain, I treat them, and ultimately myself, with the love and care deserved. He is another little guy that looks like me. And I loved him dearly. I still do.

My self esteem still needed work, though.

Six months ago, I picked Tomodachi Life for the 3DS back up. I got the game when I was a teenager and played it religiously for a few weeks before losing interest and cycling on to my next video game fixation. I would pick it back up a few more times sporadically over the years—this is the nature of how I play video games. In Tomodachi Life, you manage an island of Miis (Nintendo’s primitive customizable characters that date back to the Wii). You feed them, interact with them, buy them clothes and apartments, and watch their relationships form and change and break. The game starts with the player creating a character that looks like themself—or, how the game puts it, their look-alike.

My look-alike from this play through naturally looked drastically different from my previous play throughs. I made him look like a cute, low-poly version of myself. I made his voice sound as similar to mine as it could within the bounds of 2013 video game technology. I gave him a pink, sparkly apartment theme, dresses, shirts, accessories, his favorite foods, etcetera. I pet him on the head and listened to what he had to say. Just like Pocket BF, just like Felix, I felt a massive amount of love and affection towards him, different than before but still so much the same. This reflection of me could talk; he could walk around his little room. He got married to Sylvain. He had kids with him. He could tell me he was glad we met.

And he could tell me he missed me. By chance, I neglected to check on him for a few days while solving problems for the other Miis. When I tapped on his room, he came towards the screen and said something like, “My look-alike! I haven’t seen you all week! How have you been?”

A feeling of guilt washed over me. How could I have abandoned this little guy? This little guy that looked like me? Had I hurt his feelings? Had I made him sad? He seemed alright. He walked around his room while swinging his arms back and forth. And I soon realized, how could I feel such empathy and kindness towards him, but not feel any of that toward myself? Here it was, my empathy for inanimate objects, friendly pixels, and downright apparitions, in a violent coup against my own self hatred. I am not pixels on a screen or a handmade plush or my idea for what a video game character should have been. I am a living, breathing creature who bleeds when I’m cut. I am a person who has feelings, a person who does not deserve the pain I’ve caused myself by my own hand. I deserve the love and care that I show these self portraits, these vignettes of my simplest self. The rabid beast of my most complex self deserves it as well.

How many times have I looked at myself in the mirror and picked at my skin, picked at my image, picked at my actions, my voice, who I am, the very fabric of my fragile little existence? Too many, and yeah, I'll probably do it again. But maybe instead someday I'll greet myself with a smile, with a "My look-alike! I haven't seen you all day!" With a gentle touch, one reserved for a handmade gift. And maybe this one won't get put in a closet or given to Goodwill, or whatever ex-fiances do with iconography of their past. Little guys that look like me are my past. They are my present. And, although the battle is only halfway fought, they taught me how to love myself by proxy.

[theblogtini]

Genuinely curious to hear your take on that trailer? My biggest question after watching it was how much control did they actually have? Because early on she was leaking bout how much they had, how much they were going to air out again, how the royal family should be SO nervous for this. And it appears as though this was the case early on, they filmed private moments and gave intimate photographs but something about it screams that level of control was taken away at some point?

Did they have any control over when this trailer was released? because the timing is certainly a choice. One that is so blatantly obvious and they're (rightfully so) catching Alot of flack for it.

On the flip side a Christmas release day for the actual show? (1000% confirmation they aren't spending Christmas together as if that was even a question, to begin with) That screams to me that Netflix wants to bury this project because they don't have any faith in it. But they're catching ALOT of flack for this also because its the day after Catherines Christmas gathering is released.

SO if they didn't choose the timing of the trailer drop or the release date, did they have the ability to edit it at all? Or is the reason were randomly getting reconciliation rumors again, is because she knows a nuke is about to drop?

I don't think she had the amount of control she wanted. She viewed this from the start an extension of the cut interview and those first few podcast episodes where she was lowkey threatening the family. Alot has changed since september and I think they're freaking out how to move forward.

My thought is that based on her recent interviews their control was taken away at some point.

I think they’ve been filming pretty much the whole time they’ve been in the US but then we’re dragging their feet about putting anything together because they knew if they released anything it was a nail in the coffin. So then they tried to regroup on the project and sell it as “a love story” & it wasn’t working bc they didn’t have enough/any footage from the beginning of their relationship/marriage… and the clock was ticking.

So Netflix came in and was like “okay - this is going out by end of the year, we’re taking over” and that’s when Meghan started doing her backpedaling interviews about “it’s someone else’s lens” bc she didn’t (at the time) know what’s in it but she knew there was TONS of dramatic, insulting, pot stirring content for Netflix to pull from.

As far as the trailer release, and all of that, I think that was just strategic by Netflix. When they (Netflix) do reality shows it’s very common for them to only give a month or a couple of weeks (or even less) before the premiere date with their first trailer and I think they just honestly wanted it out by the end of the year.

Christmas day is it actually kind of popular time for like highly anticipated things to drop (big movies often drop on Christmas Day) because people are home they’re in front of the TV, especially Christmas night after festivities have ended, a lot of people are just kind of like cozy and relaxing.

But more than that I think that it was just a matter of trying to get it out before the end of the year. Probably for budget purposes. We had heard that The Sussexes wanted edits & to release next year & Netflix was like “nope.”

Dropping the trailer on a day when there was already a ton of Royal buzz I think it was absolutely strategic & pretty smart. They’re literally in the business of selling drama - so by dropping on Day 1 of Boston they were fueling that “us v them” flame even further. Plus able to get extra column inches bc the trailer drop was in its own articles plus like every article about Boston for the entire 3 days.

[screenmaven]

Film Share Sunday - with Banannasui

*update as of 10/27/23 I am no longer doing film shares do to a hectic time in my life, I do however appreciate anyone who has taken the time to join me in that spotlight. I may return to in the future, but for now I do not have time.*

I usually spotlight creators Top 5 Favorite Films each Sunday, via my SCREENMAVEN Instagram (now just starrymayx) but this week I welcome an extension of that to the blog. I love fashion probably as much as I love film, so it’s a two for one special when a film produces both.

I had the pleasure of connecting with one of my favorite fashion content creators Banannasui, and wanted to share her insight into why she highly acclaims these as her top 5 fashion films.

Charlie’s Angels (2000)

The 2000 Charlie’s Angels is fast-paced, flirty, lurid in both color and dialogue, and I feel like the outfits completely reflect that. The opening scene alone give us Cameron Diaz wearing the ultimate accessory that bridged the late 90s and early 00s: gradient sunglasses adorned with rhinestones (hers specifically were from Chloé). I remember reading that the costume designer had stacked up 3,000+ outfits for the movie, with each of the three girls having a wardrobe cultivated specifically for their character; Cameron is the all-American girl, Lucy is sophisticated and mature (her cooking muffins in a leather corset is amazing), and Drew is the scrappy rebel-type. Overall the movie is such a fun, campy feast for the eyes, but I think my absolute favorite outfits are the trio of glossy red white & blue jumpsuits they don on the racetrack.

The Bling Ring (2013)

God, it’s such a period piece of its time. A millennial’s period piece. The outfits aren’t ones I’d necessarily consider fashionable now, but (the year it came out) it was the pinnacle of it! The skinny jeans with pumps, the Uggs, the clunky jewelry, the scene of them walking out with their iced coffees wearing capes and vests and scarves and pencil skirts. All staples of that weird time period where office-chic infiltrated Polyvore boards. I love movies where the outfits are such a direct reflection of the person wearing them, it elevates the wearer to the point where you stop seeing them as the actor and start seeing them as the character. Especially when the one dressing them does their homework! Case in point, costume designer Stacey Battat said she bought every back issue of US Weekly from 2003 in preparation for dressing the cast, and then incorporated elements of the early 2010s as well, in order to make the time period of the movie feel more ambiguous. Although not included in the film, thinking of the outfits reminds me of a line from the famous Alexis Neiers phone call to Nancy Jo Sales: “..you saying that I wore six inch Louboutins heels to court with my tweed skirt, when I wore four inch little brown Bebe shoes.” It’s just so of its time.

Faster Pussycat! Kill Kill! (1965)

I love, love, love the outfits for Faster, Pussycat! It’s campy, visceral, with an appropriate amount of violence— you can see echoes of it in John Waters and Quentin Tarantino films (both of whom have cited the movie as inspiration). The outfits within the movie are very 60s, composed of simple shirts and jeans, yet are menacing, sexy, and striking. There’s no shortage of tight pieces and plunging necklines, yet the provocativeness doesn’t feel exploitative or demeaning. I like the idea of sex as armor in this movie, a notion expanded upon by Robert Ebert in a 1995 review. Despite the much exposed skin and cleavage, Ebert notes that the director, Russ Meyers, “from the beginning of his career and almost without exception, has filmed only situations in which women wreak their will upon men.” The trio of intimidating women in this film constantly leave behind a streak of havoc, literally snapping men’s spines and running them over with cars. They do all this whilst donning tiny tops, push up bras, hot pants, and bikinis, taking full control of their situations. It subverts the girly 60s look, both in attitude and appearance. Personally, I especially love Billie’s (Lori Williams) looks in the movie, in particular her iconic white hot-pants and polka-dotted crop top getup.

Female Trouble (1974)

I love 70s fashion, a lot. I also enjoy the garish vibrancy of camp, where the attitude of the story bleeds into the wardrobe. Female Trouble deploys all of that, served on a sickening platter of glitz and glamor. The John Waters film stars legendary drag queen Divine, and is chocked full of fashion references to the 50s and 60s, splicing decades of style together in a way that matches the pacing and overall attitude of the movie. There’s beehive hairdos and pastels, as well as brightly colored dresses, slick animal prints, heavy eye makeup, sequins, and fur coats. It’s very gaudy, very glamorous, and very much full of fashion inspiration. I actually originally found out about this movie due to fashion collections that took cues from the film, namely Miu Miu spring ‘15 and Adam Selman fall ‘15.

I love how despite the frivolity and outrageous storytelling that the outfits weave, they’re also very stylish in a wearable way. I mean, the orange transparent mini dress with a fur coat and sky-high hair? I’d wear it.

Blow Up (1966)

It’s a cult fashion movie, and for good reason. The movie takes place in the midst of the swinging sixties, and the clothing is accordingly immersed in the world of mod: flats with tights, kitten heels, a-line mini dresses, sharp lines and sleek ensembles that evokes imagery of both Twiggy in Vogue, and Edie Sedgwick in her iconic black tights and chandelier earrings (though of course, Edie had shrugged away the label of mod). It’s very much representative of its time, notably featuring a young Jane Birkin, as well as legendary model Veruschka playing herself. Some of the frames in the movie might as well have been pictures of collections from the iconic designers of that era, including Mary Quant, André Courrèges, and Pierre Cardin. It’s fun, simple glamor, encapsulating the time in which it was created.

I’ve always loved the style of this era of the sixties, and how it’s portrayed in Blow Up; simple mini dresses that accentuate attention-stealing pieces such as fur coats and red tights (which are timeless, even now). Nothing beats a barely there a-line dress to me, and they are bountiful in this movie.

I myself (screenmaven) absolutely love Blow Up!! That one is definitely on my film style list.

Thanks again, for sharing with me and my followers your insight into style through film.

Follow @ starrymayx on IG & banannasui for more great content.

[cimmeriana]

{ HEADCANON DUMP }

Melinoe in a relationship -- cw: romance, sexual relationships note: extension of this post and this post.

She would smile more, and it would light up her eyes.

Her voice would take on more of a purr.

She would always gift kisses to her beloved's temples and hands.

She would sneak slow, gentle kisses when she thought the other companions weren't looking.

She would enjoy just being naked together, just bare skin contact as intimacy.

When she does want to have sex, she would be so giving and tender. Kisses over every inch of her lover's body to worship them. Her fingers running through their hair as she drinks in every detail of their face with her eyes. Whispering sweet nothings in their ear. Begging in the sweetest of whines for them to release for her.

She would submit to them. Let them dominate her, if they desired. Bend her over. Pin her down beneath them. She would allow them to have control because she would trust them not to abuse it.

Even her dominance would be submission. Body straddling their lap as she bows down, her dark hair falling in waves over their face. Again and again she would ask if this is what they wanted, if this was what they needed. She would make it like a private dance, her lover's sighs and the beating of their hearts together the music in which she tunes to. She wouldn't stop until they asked it of her, until they gave her that blessed permission for her to let go and share her bliss with them.

She would leave loving marks with her lips and teeth, with their consent. A way to remind herself this isn't a dream. To remind herself that this is her person.

She would encourage they leave marks upon her. She would even carve their name into her inner thigh with a knife.

She would read her beloved poetry under moonlight and sing them her favorite love sonnets. She knows she's not the best singer, but she can carry a tune well enough that its not grating.

She would collect flowers for her beloved. Even put them in their hair if they allow it.

Would insist on helping her lover with their hair every morning. She'd loved to brush their hair for them.

She would bathe her lover. Run them a bath or guide them to the river. Take a sponge and so gently wash their back and limbs. Kissing the cleaned skin as if to christen them new.

She would remind her lover every night before bed, even if they had gotten into a fight, that they're her sun and her stars. That they can get through anything together, no matter how difficult. That they have her entirely - body, heart, and soul - until the world crumbles down around them and beyond.

"I am yours. For now. Forever. For eternity. In this life and all those that may come after."

She would kneel for them. She would kiss their hands. She would even kiss their feet if they asked it of her. She would absolutely worship them.

She would kill for her beloved. She would die for her beloved.

[shop-korea]

AUGUST - 2023 - RECALLING PH

PHILIPPINES - BENIGNO AQUINO

JR - COLOR - WE - ASSIGNED YES

NAVY - ABOVE - DENIM - BLUE

QUITE - PRETTY - COLD - 24 HR

HOT - 12 HRS - NO - SWEAT AND

NON-LEAK - SILICONE - GRIP - 2

HUB - LOCKER - CHEAPEST AND

WITH - STRAW - 4 - MY - WHEY

PROTEIN - POWDER - VANILLA

BLK - COCOA - POWDER - AND

1 TBS NUTELLA - ADD WATER

OR - CASHEW - MILK - PLANT

BASED - ICE - CUBES - B 4 US

WORKOUT - ADD - BANANA 2

PORTABLE - BLENDER - THEN

PUT - HERE - DRINK - HERE - &

MAKE - ANOTHER - 4 - AFTER

IMPORTANT - B 4 - EXERCISE

AFTER - SO - MUSCLE - CAN

RECUPERATE - FASTER - TOO

I - CAN - FINALLY - RUN - I DID

TRY - CAN'T - HARD 2 BREATH

GOING - UP - BRIDGE IS HARD

WALKING - WHEY - PROTEIN 2

GIVE - STRENGTH - 2 - RUN XO

NOW - CAN - FINALLY - GOAL

30 MIN - BACK - & - FORTH

6 DAYS - SUNDAY - IS REST

NIGHTS - JUST - 15 MIN - 4

I - LOVE - BRIDGE - VIEW 2

I - WANT - 2 - UNWIND - ITS

A - NICE - VIEW - THAT - ME

DON'T - WANT - 2 - LET - GO

FRANCE - LICENSED - BY YES

TUTORSHIP - ARCHITECT MY

FUTURE - CREATING - BLDGS

ALSO - INTERIOR - DESIGN - 2

STAGE - MY - BUILDING - THAT

I - CREATE - HOUSES - APTS - 2

RUNNING - BRIDGE - 5:15A - EA

DAY - 30 MIN - MY GOAL - THEN

9:15P - RUNNING - BRIDGE - FOR

15 MIN - THEN - BATH - AFTER 2

LOVELY - VIEW - AT NIGHT - SO

I - CAN - SLEEP - BETTER - THIS

MY - RUNNING - SCHEDULE

6 DAYS - TOTAL - 45 MIN OF

RUNNING - EACH - DAY - SO

FINALLY - 90 LBS - AGAIN AS

MARILYN MONROE - 5'5 FT

WAS - 90 LBS - AT - 5'7 1/2 FT

BONIVA - BONE DETERIORATION

15 YRS - EVERY - 15TH - JUST YES

LOST - 2 1/2 INCHES - ONLY

THUS - WHEY PROTEIN POWDER

WILL - HELP - ME - LIKE - OREA 2

BLACK - COCOA POWDER

1 TABLESPOON - NUTELLA

BANANA - CUBES

CASHEW MILK - PLANT BASED

ICE CUBES - THIS - B 4 - AFTER

WORKOUT - THEN - FINALLY - I

CAN - RUN - I - FEEL - THIS - IS

MY - YEAR - 2023 - AS - 90 LBS

AGAIN - AS - I - SEW - MY - YES

STRETCHABLES - PANTIES

SHORTS - SLEEVELESS AS

WITH - CONFIDENCE - WILL

DO - AFTER - SHIRTS - LONG

SLEEVES - STRETCHABLES

THEN - SWEATERS - LITTLE

BY - LITTLE - DENIM - SHORTS

WITH - DISTRESS - OPENNED 2

LOVE - THOSE - DESIGNS - YES

2023 - FINALLY - NO - LONGER

POOR - BUT - SHOPIFY ONLINE

TELLING - ME - 2 WEEKS 2 GET

MY - REFUND - THEN - SELLER

SELLING - BOGUS - SOLAR YES

PANEL - SAID - WITHIN - 30 DYS

REFUND - WELL - WE - ATTACK

SHOPIFY - ONLINE - STORE

FREE - APPS

INSTANT - REFUNDS

CUSTOMERS - GET - REFUND

IN - SECONDS - UNTIL - U ARE

SATISFIED - WITH - RETURNS

THEN - PAY - THEM - ONCE - I

GET - REFUNDED - THEN WITH

5% - FEE - NO - MONTHLY TOO

ITEM - $25

FEE - $1.25

AMAZON - DROPSHIPPING

AMAZON - IMPORTER - SPREADR

APP - PRO - $10 - UNLIMITED YES

ITEMS - AUTO - SYNC - PRICES - 2

CHROME - EXTENSION - THEN ME

WILL - ADVERTISE - EVERY - PAGE

REFUND - IN - SECONDS

FREE - SHIPPING

MY - BLOG

MIAMI - BLUES

SHARE - MAIN - LIBRARY

SHARE - BRICKELL - CITY

CENTRE - TIME - 2 - INDULGE

IN - ONLINE - SHOPPING - NO

MORE - SHOPPING - MALLS 4

MOST - EXPENSIVE - ANYWAY

GO - OUTLETS

CHEAPER - LOCATIONS - BUT

GREAT - AREA - ALWAYS SAFE

BLOG - MIAMI - BLUES

WILL - SHARE - HOW - 2 - MAKE

MONEY - WILL - SHARE - ALL XO

ALL - THE - APPS - I - USE

MAY - TABOOLA - ADS - BE OUR

RESCUE - NO - ONE - KNOWS US

NO - ONE - BUYS - BUT AMAZON

NOT - GREATLY - ADVERTISED

MANY - SELLERS - SELLING US

DAMAGED - ONLY - WHOLE FOOD

MARKETS - GOT - MY - REFUND IN

30 MIN - TWICE - BUT - OTHERS

ELECT- NASTY - UPS - STORE - 2

REFUND - TIME - GETTING - BAD

OUR - CUE - PEOPLE

SHOPIFY - ONLINE - STORE

REFUND - IN - SECONDS

FREE - SHIPPING

WHEN - I - MAKE - MONEY

DISCOUNTED - PRICES

AMAZON - PRIME BUSINESS

ANNUAL - FEE - $69

INC FILE.com - GOLD - PLAN

BANK - OF - AMERICA

THEIR - CHOICE

UNLIMITED - SPENDING

OVER - $5 MILLION DAILY

SPEND - $250 - MONTHLY

FREE - CHECKING - THEN

INSTEAD - OF - $!6.95 - US

THE BEST - BUSINESS BANK

JOINING - CITI BANK - NEAR

BAYFRONT PARK - AT - TRUE

BISCAYNE BLVD - US 1

24/7 - CVS - PHARMACY

THEIR - BANK - BEST XO

CRISPIEST - $20 - $10 - MOST

BEAUTIFUL - CASH - ITS ONLY

CITI BANK - ATM - TELLERS - 2

WHO - ISSUES - CRISPIEST YES

MOST - BEAUTIFUL - CASH HAI

AMAZON - IMPORTER SPREADR

AUTO - PRICE - MARK UP

ADDING - 10% - ONLY YES

COINS - $0.95 - SO - 2 COMPETE

EVERY - PAGE - SAYS

FREE - SHIPPING

REFUND - IN - SECONDS

ZOHO - BUSINESS - EMAIL

ALL - I'M - SHOWING - YES

MIAMI - BLUES

DETAILS - CHOOSE

WHOLE - FOOD - MARKET

AMAZON RETURNS KIOSK

NO - LABEL - NO - BOX

FREE - RETURNS

PUT - IN - PLASTIC - AND

STICK - SOMETHING - ON

I - GET - REFUNDED - 30 MIN

OR - EMAIL - THEN - THE YES

SHIPPING - LABEL

WHEN - I - GET - MY REFUND

THEN - I - PAY - THE - APP - 2

TOTAL - AND - 5% - ALSO

INSTANT - REFUNDS

ONLY - APP - IN - SHOPIFY

THAT - WILL - HELP US AS

DROPSHIPPERS - DO - MY

START - IS - SO - EXCITING

AGAIN - WILL - SHARE ALL

MY - SECRETS - APPS WILL

SHARE - EVERYTHING - SO WE

CAN - ALL - LEAVE - OUR JOBS

LEAVE - EVERYONE - FINALLY 2

WILL - SHOWCASE - MY - TRUE

ASHEVILLE - NC

NORTH - CAROLINA

ESTATE - AND - STABLES

BLUE RIDGE - MOUNTAINS

PHOTOS - OF - MY - HORSE

THOROUGHBED - BUYING 2

BEIJING - CHINA

ACUPUNCTURE

1 1/2 - HRS PAID - $2.50 USD

WILL - SHARE - MY - NEW YES

FACE - AND - BODY - LOOKING

AGE 16 - HEIGHT - BECOMES

5'9FT - BACK - 2 - RUNWAY FR

MODELING - IN - PARIS - TRUE

CHATEAU - IN - BRITTANY

$25 MILLION

MY TOKYO - MALE SCIENTISTS

GETTING - MY - MAKATI BANKS

MONEY - OVER - $125 BILLION 2

AUTO - TAX - PAID - SO - I'M YES

INTERESTED - IN - CENTRAL

PARK - TOWER - TALLEST BLDG

NOW - IN - THE - WORLD - THEIR

PENTHOUSE - $250 MILLION YES

I'M - INTERESTED - TOTALLY TOO

BECOMING PHOTOGRAPHER - 2

WILL - SHARE - THESE - PLACES

SO - PRAY - PRAY - WILL - START

WITH - RUNNING - THE - BIBLE

APOSTLE - PAUL - GOD - SENT

LIFE - IS - LIKE - A - RACE - AND

WE - LIVE - THIS - LIFE - LIKE

RUNNING - THE - RACE - SET

B 4 - US - ITS - GOOD - 2 RUN

LITERALLY - 2 - FEEL - WHAT

HE - WANTS - US - 2 - KNOW

2 - RUN - THIS - LIFE - LIKE U

RUN - A - RACE - DOING THE

REQUIREMENTS - OBEY THE

GODLY LAWS - OF THE LAND

WHY DO - LIBRARIES - VIOLATE

AMENDMENT 1 - 'SUPRESS OUR

SPEECH' - LIBRARY - FRM - OUR

TAXES - ENDS - THE - RIGHT - OF

PEOPLE - 2 - PEACEABLY - TRUE

ASSEMBLE - THE - 1ST - ONE - IN

18TH - CENTURY - AS - WE - YES

DISAPPEAR - THIS - LIBRARY - &

MUSEUM - LESS - THAN - 1 MIN 2

FIRE - OPEN - CARRY - HAITI BLK

MEN - OUTSIDE - ILLEGAL - OPEN

CARRY - IT's - 6P - EVERYONE - UR

NOW - TRESPASSING - THAT's HIS

JOB - AS - THEY - GET - THEIR

LAST - PAYCHECKS - WITH - A

500 YRS - RESTRAINING ORDER

DENIED - WORK - PAYCHECKS &

INHERITANCE - NEW - PHOTO ID

HAS - EXPIRATION - BEGGAR's

LICENSE - COLOR - PHOTO PLUS

500 YRS - NO - INVENTIONS YES

WATCHES - CALENDAR - ALSO

MICROWAVES - FANS - AND THE

RESTRAINING - ORDER - 2 - ALL

FOREIGNERS - AND - FOREIGN

GOODS - CHINESE - FOOD AND

PIZZA - SQUARE - BURGERS - 2

HAMBURG - GERMANY - MADE

THEM - BOUNTY - HOUNTERS 2

CONCEALED CARRY - WILL YES

WITH - OUR - TOOLS - WILL HAI

MAKE - CERTAIN - THEY - OBEY

THEIR - FAMILIES - GETTING

SAME - RELATIVES - ALL YES

GETTING - BOTH - ABOVE

FIRED - NO - WORK - AND

NO INVENTIONS - NO FOREIGN

GOODS - CAN - NEVER - COME

NEAR - US - EVER - AGAIN - YES

HAD ENOUGH - OF - HISPANICS

AND - BLACKS - DANGEROUS &

VIOLENT - HUMANS - ALWAYS

FIGHTING - OUTLOUD ALL THE

TIME - TRAGIC - PEOPLE ALSO

JESUS - IS - LORD - HEAT WAVE

OUTSIDE - SEPT - I - GET - NEW

ASUS - TOUCHSCREEN - TRUE

LAPTOP - FOUND - BETTER - 2

SOLAR - PORTABLES - HIGHER

OHM - BUT - NOT - SO - HIGH IT

IS - BANNED - AT - AIRPORTS

SHARING - THAT - BUT - WILL

LEAVE - EARLIER - TODAY FOR

I'M - HUNGRY - ALSO - HAVE

$3 - AT - FOOD - STAMPS - 2

JESUS - IS - LORD

INTERMITTENT - FASTING 2

[clarchive]

                    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋.       it flickers, on and off, a temperamental beat that calls to the man that is pressed against him, synching with his heart.     there is the swirling of a flame that tempts itself to spark, that wants him to GROW WINGS just like kyojuro had  ––  to embrace who he is, embrace what is being offered.       𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒.       from foolish, sheepish smiles, backs pressed to the tree trunk as a wooden sword was pressed to his throat.      butterfly heartbeat that ascended, wanting to find solace in what was being offered.       they would remain that way, stunted for a moment with widened eyes and careful breaths, and then they'd break away with sheepish laughs, head back to the training grounds and their safety.       but everyone had known it    ––    hina would always look between them FONDLY, like she had seen something that tengen had not.     like there was an extension that he hadn't found, but that she had;   a spark that kept trying to be coaxed to life, the tinder just needing a little more to find its spark.      she would always grin and laugh when he would ask her what she was thinking, and he remembers a flush on his face, embarrassment   ––    but it hadn't stopped him from staring at kyojuro as he walked away, maroon tracing every inch of a body that was made for slaying demons. 

                    there is something oddly open about the way that kyojuro speaks, the way that he looks him over and sounds so sincere.     like he has rehearsed these words, held them close, despite not knowing if they would wind up in this position.        tengen bites down on his bottom lip for a long moment, swallowing hard with that familiar need that he is too exposed   ––    a  thought that comes with that of a SHINOBI, who is used to hiding among the shadows.       feelings are being laid bare and he isn't sure how to respond, isn't sure how far he can go.      but he lets out a careful breath and flicks some white from his face, lets it settle back around the soft indents of where leather has bit in from his strap.       ❝   and the others?    will you care for them too?   ❞      he will not abandon them.     they need him too, they were there first.     but there can be nothing if kyojuro isn't willing to love them too, in whatever way he needs to, whether it be friendship or something more.

                    𝐆𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄.     the thought that he isn't someone's first choice is FRUSTRATING, despite the fact that tengen has attempted to get his ego back in check after everything.       it's hard to lose the mask when it has served him so well over these years, had cradled him and showed him the way back from the darkest recesses of his mind.       but the thought of not being kyojuro's first choice stings in a way that he doesn't understand    –––    he hadn't even known he had wanted, and yet he's upset about it?        ❝   i should have been.    it's rude that i wasn't.   ❞       his tone is huffy, but there's a soft reluctance in his eyes   ––   does he choose him now because he's broken?     or does he expect the sound hashira that rests beneath, the one that has not changed despite the need to?    the one that he has to lull to sleep at night in order to step past the urges?     but he is distracted by the next words, a soft hum in his throat as he runs his hands up firm thighs, testing the statement that is being made.    they run upward, upward, until he presses thumbs against strong hip bones,  feels the jolt of a body underneath his touch.      ❝   perhaps i should show you the full reason why you should choose me, hm?   ❞

                    at the mention of pain, he frowns softly, then leans up so that he can press his lips up against a firm jaw, can tip him back until he is on his back and tengen hovers  ––  pressed up on one arm only, watching, careful.     ❝   i would never hurt you, not unless you like that.   ❞     there's a light tease in his words but a seriousness in maroon eyes.      he nudges his nose against his own, then captures his lips, bent at the waist as he feels his heart settle from a rapid beat to something more normal, no longer trying to get free.      perhaps the butterflies adore being trapped within the grasp of the flame hashira, after all.

     𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄, 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐈𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘. scorching, yet inducing calm into the man which pressed against him. ivory strands smoothed over with a palm, there is never need for worry. i would never abandon you. they were 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 , since the break of their meeting. when maroon caught sunlight, and cast its gaze upon him only to be met with a smile. that was their defeat, simple yet meaningful. i love you, it burns in my chest. tear him open, and you will find something divine and nurtured. perhaps they were broken, perhaps he was beyond recognition and their efforts were for naught. but they arrived to this outcome, where arms encased him, and lips imbedded whispers upon tormented flesh. no one would come between them, never again.

     panged expression wreaks his visage, relinquishing breath and speaking through another kiss : this one placed more carefully than the rest. ❛ i can manage you ... with gentle hands and attention to detail. you can always trust me to look after you. ❞ a promise, the honor to lick wounds and seal him away akin 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 . entombed beside him, cradling bones and allowing themselves to rest. it could be an eternity, humanity was fleeting, but it would belong to them. this world they have created, buried at its core and hidden away from harm. such was the grace to their failures, beautifully preserved through passion shared.

     affirmation came naturally, raising others, not giving up. they always looked to him, when doubt curved minds. but for once in his life, another had listened to his own woes wiped his tears, and allowed the banner to come down. the sound hashira had heard him, witnessed something only afforded to those born 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 enough to endure it. lean into each other now, forfeit that subtle laugh bubbling within your lungs. ❛ you weren't my first choice ! ❞ the retort mirrored his banter, ❛ i condemned my life to 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐘 before you came along. how would i contend those beliefs with you sharing the very air that i breathe ? ❞ an exaggeration, of course. however, he could envision himself settling down. carrying out mundane chores and relishing kisses in early morning spring. he envisioned it with tengen.

     a kiss melts into skin, blossoming the faintest blush across his chest. it travels to ears, and freckled cheeks. he was accustomed to his jests, prodding each other constantly whereas kanroji once stated he acted like a girl with a 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 . pulling the proverbial hair of the boy they adored, chasing him through fields and cackling at jokes that weren't exactly humorous. weight places itself back upon the man's lap, capturing a single peck at the corner of his mouth and lingering there for a moment to 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 . ❛ you're a pain that feels good, and having you here will be both our undoing. ❞ having him here, in the grassland of his own courtyard burying that beautiful face into flower beds and desecrating pale tresses with earth.