#i think it's a broader problem
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i am having such a "i have to do everything my god damn self on this campus" moment rn
i have one person helping me and i appreciate them a lot, for real, but also we are only two people 😭
#they speak#vent#delete later#screaming crying throwing things etc#why is it so hard to get people to PARTICIPATE#people here talk such a big game about community and mutual aid#but then when we're like 'come to our weekly meeting where we talk about issues affecting students'#no one shows 🙃#i don't wanna blame any individuals#i think it's a broader problem#but like goddamn#YOU CANT DO MUTUAL AID WITH 3 PEOPLE
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Marazhai and Yremeryss make me insane and will probably continue to in ways I can probably talk incomprehensively about forever but this:
Has been rotating in my brain for awhile now just for the implications of what it says about "family honor" as Drukhari may have it, and how it conflicts with rank. Marazhai seems to argue his being wronged on the basis of Yremeryss disregarding what he is owed as her brother. At least from how he talks about his mother and some of his other dialogues about Yremeryss, there's a measure at which sibling loyalty matters against other Drukhari. As he says,"only an Aezyrraesh has the right to take the life of an Aezyrraesh." Therefore, Yremeryss tossing Marazhai in the Chasm to die as arena meat is a sign of grave disrespect. But by that same measure, Yremeryss is Archon of the Reaving Tempest and as long as she sits in the chair, her word is law. Marazhai is refusing to be a proper subordinate in the way his Archon demands by refusing to get out of her way once she felt like it was time for her to move on to bigger schemes than him.
And, it's interesting to me how their sibling dynamic also creates this fragile internal stability in the Kabal...for awhile. Marazhai will always scheme against Yremeryss, and she will always be guarding against him, but that game (as Marazhai sees it) is a game of siblings and nobody else is allowed to join in. No other families could rise to challenge the Aezyrraesh if Marazhai made sure all the rival Dracons were bribed, intimidated, or suddenly discovered the joys of dirt naps. And in that way Yremeryss had at least a modicum of "safety" in that regard because so far as internal threats went, Marazhai wasn't going to tolerate any that didn't involve him. He was, a good functional brother and subordinate for as much as that was worth. But that internal stability became an external liability once they hit a political fork. As the only Dracon, Marazhai sat as the primary rallying point for any opposition to Yremeryss' plans, and thus needed to be gotten rid of. Marazhai, as any good Drukhari would, was itching for a chance to overthrow his sister especially if she was going in a direction that was politically inconvenient for him the Kabal. And, you know, maybe he was a bit overconfident about the reaches of brother privilege if things went wrong. Which left a good opening for someone like Nazrakhei, who had the rank and power to offer both sides what they wanted, an easy crack to exploit that unraveled the whole Kabal (for bit, true success ending dependent ofc).
#i think theres also something to say about the comparing their family issues to similar inherent problems with Rogue Trader dynasties#in that you have this family meritocracy where technically so long as the family holds the title#so long as the upper authorities go everyone is an heir#which creates this competitive and often tragic toxicity because family political disagreements are often resolved with banishment or murde#see: the von Valancii Act 1#which lets outside interests like say...Chaos and other bad actors worm their way in because really#all you have to do is just kill that guy and sit in his chair?#go kill that guy and sit in his chair!#and enough of that happens that neither Kabals nor RT dynasties can really get themselves to the place of secession against the broader#political body#because if you act up enough someone can just manipulate a cousin into merking you#self management or whatever#rogue Trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#Yremeryss Aezyrraesh
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tumblr’s understanding of boycotts is so ridiculous lol. wagging your finger at people on social media to not buy a product is not a boycott. If it’s not organised and centralised its not any more effective than random people yelling at service workers about how they just lost their patronage and will not be returning here again
#I feel like veganism has done a lot of damage to the understanding of how powerful individual consumer behaviour is#or actually no that’s not correct I think it’s just people buying into individualism and ‘vote with your wallet’ type sentiments#veganism is just a particularly mainstream example of that#to be clear I have no problem with people being vegans I think they just need to be very realistic about#the incredibly limited power of individually abstaining from certain consumptive behaviours#I think this is also reflected in broader media discourses online generally#about consuming the correct tv shows and so on#we laugh at the right for this behaviour and rightfully so!
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"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"
the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:
#WE HERE IN K L O T H S T U R#the witcher books#[ Nobody liked that. ]#i like how the first two 'main' translations (like published for mass market circulation ones i mean)#were like 'no we can't call it a strzyga... no no...'#(maybe like: 'the english readers won't understand...')#and then when the game and book hit (i.e. both beginning with geralt fighting the striga)#everyone was like 'whoa that striga was really cool'#idk idk enough about it yet to say anything definitively#but my experience and all the other reviews and experiences i've read#from other anglophone readers with no prior exposure to polish or broader slavic myth or culture#has been just like: 'whoa i never knew about that... that's really unique and cool'#and on the flip side. originally witcher gained popularity in part because of the familiarity of the fairy tale#and so despite that witcher in general takes a lot of everything from across europe#if i may just summarize it really obtusely and without taking the precaution of nuance and all#although the first two translations were very much intended to feature polish writers and writing#in the way of the actual translation it feels like they tried to diminish its 'polishness' for the english reader#like for example in chosen by fate itself there are no diacritics (though idk maybe that was a lack of capability of the printing press)#it FEELS like that i'm not saying it was intentional but#for example when you don't say 'leshies' and instead say 'bugbears' that feels like diminishing it#but then later when the witcher's quote-unquote 'polishness' is allowed to come through clearer#then it actually is part of why english audiences were like whoa this is interesting i like it :)#you know real-life events are stories too. and i feel like this is a story with a good moral: 'be yourself'#this is also one of the prime subjects where i disagree with sapkowski lol#because re: 'death of the author' theory type stuff. authors cannot control how their works are interpreted by their audiences#works get interpreted on their own fortunately or unfortunately#so though i think it would be misled to engage with the witcher as if its ONLY good quality is its 'polishness'#i think that also it should be acknowledged how its unique take on culture made it appealing to both domestic and foreign audiences#i think where the problem lies is when we believe it can't be both polish and a blend of multiple cultures and traditions#because like yeah. author is an arthurian weeb
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pop-era genesis actually shares a lot of the same underlying themes as pink floyd (e.g., miscommunication, loss, alienation) but the key difference is that genesis songs are about universal human shortcomings that we can all relate to while pink floyd songs are about their own specific neuroses and if you happen to relate to them well then good bad for you
#i actually think that what makes some of the broader political themes in animals effective#is that you can tell that roger takes it all incredibly personally and that he's decided these politicians are his specific enemies#he doesn't just care about a problem. he makes it -his- problem and puts the full force of his ego into it#pink floyd#genesis
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diy hrt is obviously a net positive for the world and i think it's fine to promote information about it but it is crazy how a) a lot of the people who do promote it have an insane superiority complex about how much better and braver they are than people who go through a medical institution and b) how many of them actually know nothing about it. saw a diy person on here the other day talking abt how finasteride "is well known to literally only affect hair loss and not do anything else" and it's like. it's true that finasteride use in trans men is not studied and anecdotal reports vary wildly but if you know Literally Anything, Even A Single Thing about what finasteride actually does in the body and what dht does as a hormone you would know that's a stupid thing to say. which leaves one to conclude that that person Thought they knew what they were talking about without doing even a single second of googling. not good!
#evan says shit#i think that person was transfem and more knowledgeable on estrogen hrt perhaps?#but like. then why are they making firm statements abt masculinizing hrt.....#to say nothing of the broader patterns i've seen amongst diy stuff that basically boils down to 'we dont care about transmascs'#and 'thats not our problem'#when one talks about the legalities of testosterone and diy#wihch like whatever man if you wanna focus your information on something that pertains to you that's fine!#thats completely fine!#but why then make sweeping statements about topics you are less educated on than the average cis man!
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the idea that """cancel culture""" (for lack of a better term) and "puriteens" and the like have roots in cultural Christianity is so interesting to me...are you saying they kept the concept of redemption only so they could call everyone irredeemable? You wanted to abolish sin but you accidentally abolished redemption instead?
because to me, “everyone is redeemable” is kind of...the whole point of Christianity. "I can become better; I can change and be changed" is infinitely more freeing than "I don't need to ever become better; I'm already good enough." Because I don't want to be stuck here forever, like this, in all my blunderings and mistakes and regrets! I want to grow and improve and be free!
But I guess if you interpret God as some kind of authoritarian despot who is just waiting to see you mess up, then you decide to throw of "the rules" as some kind of liberation. "Sin isn't real. just do whatever you want as long as it's not hurting anyone."
But we do hurt each other. And what then? The wrongs aren't as easily dismissed as "the rules." So instead everyone is unforgivable and irredeemable and everyone is toxic and secretly a horrible monster who was just biding their time. And no apology will ever be good enough. Everyone's a sinner and no one is redeemable and no one will ever be redeemed. But hey! At least we're free from the tyranny of Christianity!
#christianity#I feel like someone's going to get mad at me for this post#not sure if I got my tone across right#so disclaimer I am just exploring ideas by using some rather extreme language#because also I think that Christianity as a cultural force and Christianity as a doctrine that I believe in#are two separate (albeit) related concepts#and I do think a lot of problems that come with broader christianity as a culture#is people's failure to actually understand and apply the doctrine#but anyway that's content for another post
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i don’t understand why people making ‘dune is bad because of cultural appropriation’ posts also tell people that it doesn’t matter when the plot is explained to them because like. the plot is that the cultural appropriators are the bad guys? that fundamentally changes everything, no? a white guy quite literally declares himself the messiah on a planet that has been exploited for decades because it is home to a valuable resource. the white people in the film are the americans and arrakis is the middle east and the spice is oil (i know the book was written in the 60s so this wasn’t the analogy that the author had in mind but if the shoe fits…). they appropriate the culture to win them over. you’re upset that jessica is wearing ‘muslim’ clothing, but she is doing so to pretend to be one with them so that they will more easily accept her son as ruler over them. it’s not a white saviour narrative - paul doesn’t save them he commits a genocide. like. how does this not make a difference to how you view it?
#it’s funny though because frank herbert wrote dune messiah to explain this to people who didn’t get it the first time#i am more sympathetic to people pointing out that the cast and crew lacks any (?) muslim or arab presence#that’s fair#it’s not the discourse itself that bothers me so much because i think there’s a real conversation to be had about dune and its various#meanings — a conversation that could be very fruitful and interesting (and has been in the 60 odd years since its first publication)#but#idk i think this is an example of broader problems with so-called discourse#it’s that people will form an opinion and they will not change that opinion even when presented with new information#because they simply don’t want to change their opinion#;txt
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@soccerpunching you're genuinely one of the best people I've met here bc you like almost every media I like
Apropos fighting. Remember when Adora jumps on Catra at Prom. Just them rolling on the floor. I wanted to draw that but didn't get round to it. The scene had such an energy
#im so so glad you like those hah#but anyways catradora and feisaru are two v personal and important ships 2 me#would you believe me if I told you I've sorta felt like drawing them in suits again#a few weeks ago#both manspreading#the problem is my head is so full of ideas and i actually suck at drawing and am slow and so my brains fastness overwhelms me sometimes#oh also im sick AGAIN so efficiency goes put the window#i also have a song that i associate w the prom redraws in particular#if i do the manspreads ill bring it up#im a bit conflicted abt the prom redraws. i used to really like them#but theyre over a year old now and its showing#how my drawings looked back then doesn't really resonate w me but the dip stays iconic#BECAUSE#i didn't think about saru's n fei's bodies any different back then. but my brain has this thing#where it distorts my drawings and makes them look broader than they really are in my head? and#then i look at the drawings again after a month and it goes holy shit last time i looked you werent looking like stickmen#but im better than this now#my drawings cause me less eye cancer now#i wanna get that violet suit finally. have wanted it for years#also that one thing where saru gets manhandled. it originally had more blush#man im not rereading im going to sleep
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And when the crowd sings the original lyrics, then what?
#taylor swift#speak now tv#better than revenge#I think it is incredibly pointless to change the lyrics to a song that’s over a decade old and existing in multiple formats#purely because of potential backlash regarding said lyric#that song marks a point of growth in her discography and to see her change it because it didn’t age well goes completely against the album#like the only way it needed to be addressed was in the prologue with something like ‘sometimes you look back at the things you say & regret#them not long after you say them’ and that would’ve done it#because like most things regarding Taylor the conversation is insular and not considered by the broader population#and much like ‘Innocent’ if they can’t comprehend that these songs were written over ten years ago and that she feels differently now#that’s their problem and not hers or ours
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been thinking about how weird i have been feeling about the king's cancer diagnosis. and i had been wondering, 'am i wrong for feeling strange and sad about this when the family at the heart of it are the centre of this awful system?'
and i think that, actually, this is just another part of what makes the system terrible. of course it is, first and foremost, exploitative of the people - of the united kingdom, of the wider commonwealth, of the many other places which were touched by the british imperial project. but it is exploitative also of the people around whom it is designed. for whom a cancer diagnosis is not a private tragedy, but a public affair. whose actions and appearances are noticed, reported, scrutinised. what does this mean for harry and william's relationship? - where is the king staying during his treatment? - how is he going to meet with the prime minister?
nobody wins, i think, while the royal family remain royal. certainly some are losing more severely than others. charles will have access to the best possible care for his condition while millions languish on nhs waiting lists. but this doesn't feel like any sort of victory to me.
#i very much understand why people hate not just the institution but also the individuals of the royal family#doubly so those whose backgrounds mean that comparatively recent royal history has had a tangible negative impact on their community#(which i don't feel is the case for me as a middle class white scot)#and it is certainly fallacious to claim that 'he's just an old man; he could be your grandad!' or whatever.#but for myself personally i prefer not to lose sight of the fact that they are *people*.#of course they're not 'just like us' - but they could have been. and the fact that they never had that chance or choice is#another failing of the system. not the *primary* problem - but symptomatic of much much deeper and broader issues.#and anyway. on a shallower level. i think i just find it hard to find much glee in cancer regardless of the context.#this post won't even show up on my own dashboard because i have the term blacklisted.
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one of the most important aspects to be learnt of being a political thinker online, a passive or active viewer of sociopolitical discourses and marginalization, is that just because you find someone to be “wrong” on a subject, have a bad take on a words definition or have shitty political/strategic takes, or just be fucking annoying to you personally, doesn’t make them stop being from the same marginalized group or group-of-groups as yourself. tragically sometimes a comrade-in-arms also just fucking sucks without it being a cishetero bourgeois psyop or a more-particularly-advantaged-yet-still-marginalized-group punching down. like there can be “self-hating” people from demographics actively trying to oppress said demographics but 9 times out of 10 Kaleb from My Discourses isn’t a Dennis Prager rubbing elbows with literal nazis he’s just that dipshit who thinks Judaism as a social category necessitates matrilineal affiliation (even though the people that actively hate Judaism as a social category don’t conceive of it as such). For example I mean.
this should really go without saying but good fucking god my own time in the ‘strangers with a word or two in common trying to kill each other online’ trenches neeeeded
#yes this is about queer community discourse#(most) about anyway i mean. i literally talked about a judaism thing in the post lol#realizing this has felt like a gigantic fucking burden got lifted off my shoulders. like oh yeah sometimes you can just dislike a line#of rhetoric without it being a fucking calamity that invalidates other peoples places in the broader ‘community’.#the fact i can care IS important to some extent but what still matters more is that The -Archs rarely if ever actually care that much#regaurdless of what a sapphic calls themselves they’d still be lit on fire by the deathsquads for degeneracy as much as the rest of us#just because some dipshit thats personally loathsome on an individual scale takes any criticism of the use of ‘queer’ as a personal attack#doesn’t remove the fact that theyre still just as fucking fallible as the rest of us#like this doesn’t remove how i feel about these subjects. some labels are fucking redundant and shitty and yes-actually-invalidating of#other peoples definitions (most importantly MINE hahaa!) but jesus h fucking christ i haven’t seen a ‘bad actor’ on these subjects in years.#it was only ever the discorse itself really that alerted and enabled people to get noteworthily bad about. like#anything. even setting aside vaguing bi lesbian as a label (sorry) EVERY FUCKING DISCOURSE THAT ISN’T ‘hey this person doxxed someone’ or#or ‘hey these are closed fucking religious practices/stereotypes/slurs’ has been like that!!!#ace discourse was a fucking hellscape and i genuinely just don’t think the problems would have happened there on either side if people#actually fucking treated each other like. human beings????#some of THAT came down to trying to compare opressive forces against even the other acronymal identities is a politically disturbing underta#aking in its own right. we can barely talk fucking humanely about the intersections of transphobia abd homophobia throw amatonormativity on#the mix and expecting 2015 tumblr to be civil is like hand ak-47s to middle schoolers. urk.#so basically i’m the smartest and bestest because i can acknowledge and respect my own biases while still recognizing them AS biases and#try to always keep the broader political climate in mind when considering topics that are ‘hot button’ to myself uwu#i’m basically just like noah from the bible i’m so virtuous i’m going to start a big zoo in a boat now
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i must resist the urge to wade into the waters of discourse so i'll be vague but must all discussions of lesbian identity on this website center around men
#speak friend and enter#lesbians and bisexuals have a beautiful shared history but we are not the same and to insinuate so is reductive to us all#i think this site has a real problem with individual exceptionalism and the urge to belong to an exclusive in-group#and that leads to the rejection of whatever community can be found within other broader groups#and i think that boils down into a kind of casual biphobia that views bisexuality as 'lgbt lite'#which isn't fair to bisexuals and their history as members of the queer community#so all these weird little micro labels get created that place this weird stigma on bisexuality and erode the definition of lesbianism#anyway. call yourself whatever the hell you want but please learn your history first#and be prepared to understand why members of the communities you're attempting to combine might bristle at that
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Every time I need to cut my hair I get super excited bc I know I'll love it and EVERY TIME right after I cut it I fucking hate it and feel so uncomfortable I have to avoid looking at myself for a bit bc I look suddenly different and something about that makes me feel nauseous until like two days later when I'm used to it and love it again
This time is the WORST ITS EVER BEEN
What the fuck is the deal with that bc it really makes getting my hair cut a fucking trial
#delete later#im having a bunch of sensory issues lately and nausea and its driving me insane#i think im probably just super anxious about my trip but its really annoying#i want to bavk out and not go SO BAD but the good thing is that telling ppl at work means if i dont go it'll look weird#so that is pushing me to go. which is good bc i KNOW I'll enjoy it I KNOW THAT its just thr apprehension#and the risk that i wont enjoy it.#i am excited#im also scared#i hate ny brain#on the fun side the testosterone has made my shoulders broader snd face wider and im looking and sounding more masc#also i feel bad bc i didn't ckean up after hair cutting well enough bc i fekt so off balance and bad that i did it quick and then laid down#so i need to ensure i clean before i check how it looks or do SOMETHING differently#truly living is a task and having to problem solve every facet of life makes it fucking exhausting
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Kind of irritating how a notorious transmisogynist can regurgitate a few anti-imperialist talking points (which even in the context of the post alone they clearly don't understand) and it gets far more attention than like any of the coherent analyses of what's going on made by people who don't despise trans women
#like this shit is obviously not as important as the event itself#but like I think it points to some unfortunate deficiencies in the consciousness of most tumblr users#in turn reflecting the unfortunate deficiencies in the broader society they come from#which you know both cause and reflect the sort of factors that contribute to said actual problems
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Not gonna lie the way some people talk about the female characters from PBB/LL makes me want to lay on the floor
#does YOUR comment about tess that you wrote in 30 seconds pass the bechdel test?#complaining#text#pbbposting#I understand that this trend within the fandom is difficult to deconstruct because it’s more-so a product of broader societal problems#and also the fact that canon has semi-facilitated it by not really giving any of it’s female characters a whole lot to do?#It’s kind of disheartening#to see people not really be able to comprehend Tess/Mabel/Faust#as anything other than orbiters of male characters#:|#Better content creators have made this exact same sentiment before so I’m preaching to the choir A Bit#But I think we should make a better effort to recontextualise how we discuss these characters#Anyways sorry my blog has been Like This I’ll go back to posting art soon
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