#lesbians and bisexuals have a beautiful shared history but we are not the same and to insinuate so is reductive to us all

[batemanofficial]

i must resist the urge to wade into the waters of discourse so i'll be vague but must all discussions of lesbian identity on this website center around men

[reneewalkersbiceps]

recent reads and recommendations:

i’ve been trying to read more recently and kind of get back into a reading flow where i always have a book on the go to read when i can. as a result i have a lot of new recommendations for you all and thought i would share 💋

in order of earliest to latest reads:

her body and other parties - carmen maria machado ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - unsettling, horror, fantasy, short stories, contemporary, lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality), feminism, experimental

we're starting off strong with one of my new favourite authors, carmen maria machado <3 i fell in love with machado through this book. her beautiful, horrible, astonishing writing made this possibly one of my favourite books ever. i can't say i ever expected to be reading (and adoring) a 60 page list of fever-induced law and order synopses but my god it was incredible. a well-deserved five stars to kick off the list.

human acts - han kang ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - south korean history, multiple povs, dark and unsettling (tw for graphic violence and body horror), experimental, contemporary.

this book was beautiful. it takes place during and looking back on the gwangju student uprising of 1980 and uses multiple povs to recount the horrors that occurred during the uprising under the newly instated dictator and martial law. i previously read ‘the vegetarian’ by han kang (another novel i highly recommend) and adored it so picked up human acts to follow up and wow i was not disappointed. it is so poetically beautiful and so haunting, the second pov especially has really stuck with me. a hard read (in terms of content) but a great and necessary one.

things we lost in the fire - mariana enriquez ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3.5 stars)

themes/genres - short stories, gothic horror, magical realism, latin american literature

i picked this book up after reading enriquez’ ‘the dangers of smoking in bed’ which i loved. i enjoyed this book but i think, comparatively, i enjoyed tdosib a lot more. the book is structured as multiple short stories (mostly) set in argentina from various povs (the same structure as ‘tdosib’). each story is poetic, disturbing and beautiful and enriquez’ writing really highlights a culture i knew little to nothing about previously in such a rich and stunning way. the reason i rated this one a bit lower is simply that i wasn’t as enraptured with ‘twlitf’ as i was with ‘tdosib’ and i found some of the stories less interesting. still a solid read but i would definitely recommend checking out ‘tdosib’ first.

our wives under the sea - julia armfield ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4 stars)

themes/genres - unsettling/disturbing, lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality, lesbian), contemporary, two character pov, gothic, the vast open ocean (tw)

this book is heartbreaking. the sense of tension and dread really creeps up on you in this one as more gets revealed and more past horrors unfold. incredibly poetic and ambiguous, slow to start but the last few parts had me speeding through. watery, foamy, flowing and gorgeous.

milk fed - melissa broder ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - mother-daughter relationships, modern judaism, eating disorders (tw), lgbtq+ (wlw) fiction, mental health, identity

i ATE THIS BOOK UP. oh my god. broder so perfectly entangles food, love and sex, obsession and religion and winds metaphors around one another to create a novel that is so weird and yet so normal. it highlights so many societal issues and all the characters are flawed and odd in some way. the main character herself is incredibly problematic at times and somewhat of an unreliable narrator but still very lovable as you can clearly see where her issues stem from and why she is so obsessive. elements of this book really, really spoke to me as a woman who’s had my own issues with food (and mothers and food). a funny, twisted, quite dark and fascinating book that i read in about a day.

in the dream house - carmen maria machado ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - memoir, domestic abuse (tw), emotional abuse (tw), lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality), feminism, experimental

another cmm beauty. machado really knows how to take an unusual format and make something beautiful out of it. i'd never read a memoir before this and i'm so glad to say this was the first. genuinely like reading a memoir, a poetry anthology, a collection of short stories and a research paper all at once. beautifully done and so heartbreaking.

nightbitch - rachel yoder ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - art and the artist, fantasy/magical realism, feminism, motherhood, transformation, freedom, violence (tw for graphic animal killing), multi-level marketing schemes?

this book is mad. it is literally about a woman turning into a dog. it's brilliant. if you have recently watched barbie and want something slightly more unhinged but still on the topic of feminism and motherhood, this may be for you. i LOVE weird books and this fit me like a glove. made me think about motherhood like i never have before and the transformation throughout the book is crafted beautifully.

the priory of the orange tree - samantha shannon (currently reading)

themes/genres - high fantasy, magic, religion, dragons, lgbtq+ (wlw), romance, violence and death (tw)

i'm about 350 pages in so far guys, she's still a beast but she's a beast i love and i'll update this when i finish. as for now, don't be afraid, she may look hefty but she's WORTH IT.

hope you enjoyed this list, please send me some more recommendations, i shall gladly receive!

(p.s. i have included some trigger warnings but not an extensive list for every book, please be aware that there may be other potential triggers. does the dog die lists triggers for movies, books and tv shows and includes at least some of the books on this list. reader discretion advised!)

[troglobite]

OHHHH ASDLKFMASDFY CUKGINF ASDLKFJLURAGLKJDFJ

more abt the shows i'm watching ONCE AGAIN please do not judge me for the shows i watch

okay ted lasso spoilers for the newest episode

OH MY FUCKING GOD I FUCKING KNEW IT I KNEW KEELEY AND JACK WERE GONNA GET TOGETHER IN SOME WAY AHHHHHH I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND FIST PUMPED IN THE AIR AND STARTED HYPERVENTILATING HOLY FUCKING SHIT ALSDKJFA LSDFHLASDFHLAKSDJF;AOSDFHLIAUSDFKLASJD FLK

okay also

TRENT HAD A FUCKING RAINBOW MUG IN THE OPENING SCENES

AND HE WAS HOLDING IT WHILE TALKING TO THE COACHING TEAM AND HIGGINS

AND THEN ROY WENT ON HIS GIANT RAGE BIT ABOUT WHAT YOU DO TO BULLIES

AND THEN TRENT OUT OF SHOCK AND TERROR DROPPED THE RAINBOW MUG

i mean it was frustratingly not a PERFECT gay rainbow, but it WAS a rainbow and it said IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO

WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, POSSIBLY GAY TRENT MUG, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME

also the looks at colin when ted mentions shame

colin talking about musicals and the others joining in

colin refusing to partake in saying that anastasia is beautiful

trent walking around with higgins just for some reason i'm like !!!!! OKAY!!!! PART OF THE TEAM/FAMILY!!!!

also i am VERY COMPELLED abt rebecca's journey

i KNEW her main closing journey was going to be abt becoming a mom

and now it's not possible for her to carry or conceive HOWEVER!!! GUESS WHO HAS A FRESH BABY!!!

BEX

do it, rebecca. DO IT. GET HER TO DIVORCE RUPERT, SELL HER SHARES OF THE CLUB, AND CO-PARENT THAT LITTLE BABY, DIANE!!!!!

also compelling that the green matchbook and shite in nining armor were about past relationships, not abt the "RIGHT" one!

it's reflective!

and it's moving BACKWARDS.

which makes me think--

further backwards yet again is BEX

so raise her baby with her!!!!

okay once again i would like to FUCKING SCREAM ABOUT KEELEY AND JACK GETTING TOGETHER FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!

I KNEW FROM THE SECOND THAT SHE WAS INTRODUCED WITH A "MAN'S" NAME AS A BAIT AND SWITCH

AND THEN WITH KEELEY IN THE TOILETS

AND THEN THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AT THE BAR DURING THE GAME

i am.

EXPERIENCING HAPPY QUEER FEELINGS

THANK FUCKING CHRIST

I'M SO FUCKING THRILLED

KEELEY CONFIRMED BISEXUAL!!!!

JACK CONFIRMED BISEXUAL OR FORMERLY-DATED-MEN-LESBIAN!!!!!

i guess technically the same for keeley as well! but it seemed like she really loved and was very much into jamie and roy, so i'm definitely on Team Bisexual over here.

okay anyway

HINTS OF TRENT

that sleeve roll and his little bracelets so fucking gay, my dude, especially WITH THAT FUCKING MUG

and then jamie and roy still committed to working hard together i am LOOKING. WITH INTRIGUE.

okay that was a fascinating episode.

i also i called it as SOON as ted got that text abt henry that HENRY was the one who bullied the other kid.

i was anticipating MORE abt that storyline, but apparently it was just to show how far ted's come in terms of managing his anxiety and his panic attacks, which like, okay, sure. i appreciate them showing henry learning from his mistakes and trying to do better. that's lovely.

i WAS anticipating more. i was anticipating henry to have participated in like homophobic bullying or something. bc tbh we still don't know what he did. to some kid named doug. we didn't really learn anything. and i am INTRIGUED by that lack of detail.

anyway.

also yay for nate! i didn't actually expect him to end up dating restaurant girl--what the fuck is her name again? i legitimately forget even though i JUST watched the episode, which is genuinely hilarious considering her bit abt not remembering nate's name, etc.--but it actually kind of. makes sense.

nate does need someone who can keep him in check--but also they sort of know each other, and the restaurant is special to him. it's not like they have NO history, or their only history is her being rude to him.

quite frankly she's like the classic "be mean to the person you like" bullshit from childhood.

which is funny considering nate's like. behavior and modus operandi.

ANYWAY. i hope that gets more compelling and interesting, but yeah they've both been rude to each other and it's. interesting.

it's a good ego check for him.

and it was really nice for him to be able to recount all the good things that've happened to him! the fact that he ENDED that sentence w talking abt being promoted at richmond! that's really nice.

i don't have incredibly strong feelings abt him but i find the story is being handled p well.

nuance and critiques abound for various parts of the show, including nate and his storyline.

BUT.

that was. a really fucking good episode.

also bye zava! lol

i was really fucking worried that he was gonna out someone or say something shitty abt richmond, but truly, he's a self-important wishy-washy dickhead, but he's not a cruel person. and i appreciate that! very interesting character, v fun for the time he was there.

and unfortunately i can understand exactly how dani ends up hero-worshipping him. lol he speaks exactly the kind of language that dani would find super compelling. lol

anyway holy SHIT there are still seven episodes left AHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!

this was a good episode and FUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEE KEELEY AND JACK ARE TOGETHER!!!!! well, they're fucking. who knows what any of it means. BUT FUCK YEAH!!!!! CONFIRMED BISEXUAL KEELEY!!!!!! FUCASDJFLKA SKLFJHAELIUAHDLSFHAILS EFJADSKFLJ

no. fuck. wait.

the next episode title and summary:

sunflowers

a friendly match takes the team to amsterdam, where one night out unlocks truths for many.

for MANY?!

HOW FUCKING MANY?!!

[SWEATS IN STRESSED OUT LESBIAN]

FUCK!!!!! AIDJ GKADHGCKAEHRLFGKADHKJGHCF ADLDHFKJFSD LKFJAD LFKJ DSOH FMADFYASD LFAJDLFKJASFLJ

[cowboyjen68]

Bi women and lesbians are both gay, so why can't they both use butch? That makes no sense

(A different anon)

Lesbians have the right to our own language.

Apply this logic to anything else and it makes no sense. Just because we are lesbians does not mean we have to share every thing with anyone who crosses into our Venn diagram at some point.

I have a black cat, you have a grey cat, Black cats are often in danger around Halloween from assholes who think they are evil or possessed. Both the grey cat and the white cat are cats so therefore the grey cat can also claim to be in danger from those same superstitious people. Even though we all know they are not.

Hay and Straw both come in bales. Horses eat hay therefore they like straw because they both look similar and come in twined tied bales (HINT:straw is inediable for horse and carries to nutritional value).

I own a quilt that my mom and dad made together, I also have a Wal Mart quilt. Both are quilts but one was made with love and as a way for two people to share time. Both are beautiful. Both keep me warm, both, both are well made and sturdy. The Wal Mart quilt also wants to say it is just like the one handmade and has the same history and meaning to me. But we all know that is just not true.

Two thing can hold equal value but not share history or language. I can keep going and going on things that have cross over but are different and therefore are described using different language and words.

Lesbians do not owe anyone. We are not obligated, nor should we be, to share something that belongs to us.

Certainly many of us love and form lasting relationships, both friendships and romactic ones with bi women. Bi women are allowed and have the right to their own history, language and experience that differ from lesbians no matter who they love. Give lesbians that same respect.

Being a bisexual woman is a wonderful thing on its own.A superpower enabling you to see the unique beauty in both men and women,  I encourage you to  embrace your sexuality and honor it and all the wonderful things that encompasses and your sexualities unique history and struggles. Lesbians and Bi women share some common experiences, , but that does not mean lesbians have to share everything with you.

A heartfelt thank you to all the bi women I know and care about, IRL and on this app and others, who understand and love and respect the difference between them and lesbians. It is a thing of beauty where that exists.

[ro-laren-turned-me-gay]

The Next Generation

Just how gay are they?

PICARD

PROPERTY OF Q <3 - He and Q desperately need to bang. In TNG he made the prime directive into his own personal god complex, so he needs to get topped by an omnipotent being to get put in his place. Also every woman he dated deserved better.

RIKER

DOWN TO 'BONE - I don't think it's possible to be straight after wearing this outfit. And Riker is just overall so horny that I don't think he cares about gender. Him and Deanna are canonically polyamorous, so I think he'd make sure that other men were involved in some of their Jamaharon. Also I think Troi/Worf/Riker would've been a solid throuple.

DATA

THEATRIC GAY - If he wasn't gay before he started performing Shakespeare and his cat poetry, he definitely was after. And his het relationships went very poorly; the only woman he slept with was a lesbian. Besides, him and Geordi are clearly and tenderly in LOVE.

WORF

BLOOD BROTHER - Very strong evidence for bisexual. He has the tendency for the warriors bond, which is such a classic homoerotic theme. And I mean, he had a bisexual bob for YEARS. Plus - no straight person could ever be capable of marrying Jadzia.

GEORDI

DATASEXUAL - Disaster gay. His romantic interactions with women are a stone cold atrocity. He was just trying not to think about his feelings for Data. The costume designer made that visor specifically so we couldn't see Geordi making eyes at his android boyfriend in every scene.

CRUSHER

DOCTOR FEMME - Her romantic history reeks of a woman who can't accept how gay she is yet. She only dates dudes if they are weird fucked up aliens. The way she just SHUT DOWN after Odan was transferred to a Trill woman, and the tension she had with that dyke doctor that fixed Worfs spine...babe that's internalized homophobia. And remember this leotard stretching scene?? Case closed.

TROI

(using that same scene bc jesus christ)

STRETCHES BOTH WAYS - Like I said with Riker, she's definitely polyam. Her and Tasha were *this* close to kissing in the Naked Now. Plus with her mommy issues, she didn't have a chance of being straight. And that aforementioned leotard scene?? Her flowy dress uniform?? What a bisexual goddess.

WESLEY

GAY SWEATER-CURIOUS - He absolutely had a crush on Geordi and Data at one point bc he didn't hang out with other kids. But then he went to the academy and started crushing on the other boys in Nova Squadron. And when he just up and left everything to go beyond space and time with some guy in a silver jumpsuit??? Queer with a capital Q. (And don't forget how he shared one of his gay little sweaters with a fellow cadet ;))

TASHA

LESBIONIC - An honorable mention, since she was there for such a short time. What a wonderful little lesbian, so sad we were only graced with her beautiful face for 1 season. She was the only one to pull off that early TNG jumpsuit, and that's gay.

GUINAN

DIVINE ENTITY - She is God and therefore her being is beyond any mortal comprehension.

(But yeah she's kissed a lady).

[gay-otlc]

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline  smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst  to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

[deco-devolution]

Sexuality & Gender In Columbia 

Okay, so this is a frankly huge topic to cover, and because there is so little direct reference to any non-heterosexual/cisgender culture in the games, a lot of this will be me sharing/explaining my headcanons/worldbuilding. My ideas will be based on historical record of LGBT+ struggles at the time (1890-1915) and mostly US-centric, as Columbia seems to be fairly westernized. in addition, I will be focusing purely on the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans communities to cut down on post size and research time. Here we go!

 Note: These all refer to Columbia (Rapture has a separate post) culture in the peak of the city’s life- a snapshot into queer Columbia circa 1910, roughly speaking. As such my talk about the culture is purely as I’d imagine it to be at that specific time only with no details as to the cultural development to that point.

cw for homophobia, transphobia, q slur

Sexuality In Columbia

If you’re not straight it’s over for you

Quips aside, just from playing the game you can tell Columbia is ruled by the most staunch of conservatism. The Edwardian Era in real-world history made heavy emphasis on modesty and a sense of duty but Columbia takes it a step beyond, and this can be seen in most every example of media or dialogue found in-game. Having such traditional Biblical leanings, it can easily argued that this also extends to sexuality.

Right off the bat, I feel like this is Heterosexual (& Cisgender) Land™. Any other sort of attraction, be it gay, bisexual, or anything else, is considered reckless experimentation at best and ungodly and deserving of punishment at worst. Aside from the religiously-motivated belief that only straight relationships are legit, there’s another reason they’re so heavily emphasized- population growth. Columbia, for all its pomp still has a relatively small population on a national scale- just from some educated guesses I’d put it around the borough to town region, as indicated on the settlement hierarchy of ekistics. While the limited space of the city means that the population can’t just continue to grow, a certain rate of births is needed to keep the population level.

Interestingly enough, even though Columbia is a hotspot of religious zealotry, the city still follows the conventions of Edwardian/Early WWI society- very proper, highly formalized in its ideals. Aside the propaganda and fearmongering, personal details are still taboo in polite conversation.

Cruising is done in places where social conventions are significantly different from formal events or even everyday conventions- namely the beach, pubs and lounges. 

In the same vein, hookups, flings, and dates are called vague things like “going out to lunch/drinks”, “going for a stroll” or “having a picnic” and same-gender partners are typically referred to as close friends. It’s all very underhanded, the result of both Edwardian discreetness and closeted language.

Gender In Columbia

Like most of Columbian society, the queer groups in Columbia tend to gather based on gender. Lesbians share space with bisexual women, and gay men stick with bisexual men. As far as trans communities go, however, the cisnormative, rigid interpretation of gender predominant in Columbia means that they tend to be misunderstood among the other queer groups. Typically not in a blatantly hostile way but rather an obnoxiously condescending “poor confused dear” way.

Gender is not so much an identifier as much as an determinator; whatever you are assigned will be the factor driving not only your upbringing but your life choices as well.

There are quite a few social clubs that operate as safe spaces for the community- they typically rotate between the members’ houses and frequently merge or splinter with or from other groups, going from book club, to knitting social to any other politely banal gathering. 

For those looking to dress how they’d like in safety, ‘costume clubs’ are popular among gender non-conforming, trans people and those interested in crossdressing. They present themselves as sort of novelty dance halls with every day being a masquerade. While technically legal, their image is strongly connected to immorality and looseness in Columbia and as such they’re rare and subject to higher levels scrutiny then other halls. 

Because of the rigidity of the culture, the LGBT+ culture in Columbia uses nonverbal queues to state their identities- for example men place certain flowers in buttonholes or alternatively pin them to their lapels to let outsiders know they’re in the community. Women can put these same blossoms in their hats, brooches and hair. These include flowers such as lavender, violets, pansies, carnations and daffodils.

There are HRT gene tonics for sale- they’re marketed under the guise of improving a woman’s femininity or man’s masculinity, they’re sold in pharmacies in the health and beauty aisles without the need for a prescription. This helps some looking to transition do so much easier, though the issue of financial barriers for those who are younger and/or living in poverty still linger. As far as options like SRS go, the procedure is entirely underground, practiced by surgeons of varying repute. While being able to do so successfully is considered a show of skill, most practitioners and citizens are morally opposed to the idea. 

Unlike Rapture, there’s not many fun or quirky terms for LGBT+ citizens. Those with same gender attraction are rudely referred to as “victims of unnatural passions” and those who ID as anything other then cisgender are accused of “falling into delusions of identity”. Among themselves though, WLW call themselves “Lady Lovers of Liberty” (as in the statue based on the Roman goddess Libertas) while MLM call themselves “Sons of Antinous” while trans citizens typically refer to themselves as “Children of Agdistis”. (Note that while Agdistis was portrayed as intersex in Roman mythology, their nonbinary existence and transformative identity made them a relatable icon for most trans people in Columbia)

Questions or comments? Let me know! Thanks for reading.

[floatingbook]

Feel free to delete this if it's not helpful, but as a bi woman, I've not found that lesbians replicate toxic heterosexual dynamics in relationships, but I have, from my time dating men, and so have a few of the other bi women I've dated who also had extensive histories with men. We're all socialized by the same messages, but the real influence comes from direct experiences with male-female relationships where so many of us are straight up ignorant about what's unhealthy bc it's just how men are and we just expect it and play to that. Guys always thought I was easy going and straightforward, but the first lesbian I dated thought I was playing games because I was subconsciously responding how I always did to a male partner and men's hangups not realizing those aren't universal to men and women. It's weird and I was blind to it until I was in the middle of it. I'm not trying to say all lesbians are perfect, and reading some lesbian books from the 80s made me think some of the ones who got really into the butch/femme roles did that a little too, but you have less to worry about especially as someone who's already mindful. Although I feel bad for how women's love often traps them with men who let them down, there's an idealism and resiliency about women's love that's beautiful. Your love is not the problem. What goes wrong is exposure to men and heterosexuality, but your exposure is indirect and that's probably protected you. I hope you get to know what it means to love a woman and be loved by a woman ♥️ No woman has ever treated me like men did, our problems were closer to like, communication problems. Love is healing and you deserve to know what it feels like from both sides.

Prompted by this post. While I appreciate your input and the sentiment behind this ask, anon, I think your outlook is somewhat misguided.

“What goes wrong is exposure to men and heterosexuality, but your exposure is indirect and that's probably protected you.” On what account, given the current state of the world, do you think I haven’t been exposed to men or to heterosexuality? Being a lesbian doesn’t protect me, sadly, from men and misogyny. I know it’s easy to forget because we lesbian don’t date men, but we do have fathers, brothers, cousins, school mates, male colleagues, male doctors, male cashiers, and we encounter the same amount of men (minus the ones we don’t date) that you do as a bisexual, or that a straight woman does. Unless we live a separate life on women’s land, we have to interact, and are exposed, to men. Being a lesbian doesn’t protect me from men or from the terrible example that is heterosexuality under current circumstances. I’ve had to share a home with a father and a brother for almost two decades. I’ve spent my entire life seeing how a man is supposed to treat his wife — and not just between my parents, but amongst the rest of my family, at my friends’ homes, in public too — or what my female friends expect and tolerate from their partners. It’s not just exposure to media, it’s in my life too. 

Bottom line, it’s too easy to just assume lesbians will automatically have healthy and untainted-by-misogyny-and-homophobia expectations and preconceptions about love. Having so little exposure to what a lesbian relationship would look like (there’s no mainstream for us) might mean we create what we want to have, but we might as easily fall into replicating what we see around us.

[melindascarradio]

Hey guys! These are our Pride soaps, well first part at least!  More to come! Currently working on the main rainbow flag. In this group we have: Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, and Lesbian.

The mold I decided to use is a Dalia. They are a beautiful flower that represents strength and courage. What a fit for Pride Month.

These soaps are scented with lavender essential oil, and here's why:

A little LGBT history lesson for those of you who haven't heard of The Lavender Scare. In the 1950s, during the Red Scare,  Senator McCarthy gave his list of 205 federal employees to Senate. Two of those employees were thought to be homosexual (they were ultimately let go). This caused a questioning of morality of members of the LGBT community. They were seen as perverted and sinful, and 'shared some of the same qualities as communists'. Meaning they were immoral and mentally weak. This caused LGBT federal employees to be viewed as a security risk. In 1952, 162 federal employees were fired due to being 'suspected of homosexuality'. In 1953, Eisenhower signed Executive Order 10450, excluding federal employees of 'sexual perversion'. It is estimated AT LEAST 10,000 civil service employees lost their jobs. In turn, not only federal employees were fired, but everyday employees lost their jobs due to 'guilt by association'. Fortunately, there were groups that organized and helped start the movement that ultimately got us our rights to love in today's society.

Source:

https://www.nglcc.org/blog/lgbt-history-lavender-scare

Thank you for sticking with me so far.

These soaps are $10.00 + shipping and will be uploaded to the site soon!

10% of all proceeds from the Pride soaps will be donated to The LGBT Center on Colfax here in Denver, CO.

If you don't see your flag represented, let me know!

Send me a DM if you're interested!

You can also find them on our etsy page ^_^

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MadameMidnightShoppe

[lesdoublesll]

Hello!! Just wanted to ask, what do you think about Finkeldorf?? Danke ✌️❤️

Such a small question, but such a complicated one ! I have so much things to say about them I love them so much ♥️

First of all, they are much more than a ship, they are their own persons and boi, I love both. So I think I'll answer what I think of the characters, and of the pairing.

The pairing is AMAZING. They've known each other for so long, they trust each other so much : you can just feel Finkel would do anything to please K, but in an absolutely non toxic way despite K being his superior. He is just super supportive and admirative all the time ! K on the other hand looks very protective with his Finkie ahah which is understandable. He is so adorable, just imagining someone like Freddy being hurt must be unbearable (for me it is ���). And let's be real : having such a supportive, cute, young boyfriend, I wouldn't want to share him and I would protect him at all costs too ! And I think Taika Waititi did a great job convey all of it in the film, without making it too obvious (because at the time you had to hide it) but on the contrary: making it subtle but beautiful. It's the only long term relationship exposed in it, and it's not even pointed out. Its just there because that is how it is. And that's great lgbt representation : that's just life : they aren't treated any different from hetero characters. Being gay isn't their main trait, it's not only there to serve comic purposes, but it is also there for the plot (for captain K's character and for his relationship with Jojo; I will talk about it later ;) )

So yeah I love them, and the film just reminded me of how it was, being bullied for years for being "a lesbian" (which I am not but you know for some ppl bisexuality is hard to understand) "the bisexual slut who wants to have sex with everyone" and all the slut shaming that came with it. It reminded me of how unfair the whole situation was, of how vulnerable I was, it reminded me of why I've been an active lgbt suppoter for years. And you know, I tend to actually forget how cruel can ppl be sometimes, because it's been two years since I am in humanities in prepschool, half of my friends are bi, the other half are gay and lesbian, I am accepted by my family and my friends, and I have a gf. It's almost like everything is perfect and nothing bad happens to us. But it's not true, and as much as it is crucial we enjoy all the good things that happen to us in life, we must remember some lgbt ppl didn't have that chance and some still don't have it. Some lgbt ppl are still harrassed/arrested/killed everywhere in the world in every country. And Finkeldorf just reminded me that I needed not to forget about it. That I should still fight for my rights, for the rights of every single lgbt person.

Oh and a ww2 gay pairing: my historian brain just loved it xD

Ok. Wow that escalated I am sorry x)

As for the characters.

Freddy Finkel. I absolutely love him with all my heart and that's not even because he is portrayed by the best actor alive. (And the most handsome by the way. ) He is so precious. Maybe he is a little dumb (mostly for comic effects x) ) but he wants to do thing good so bad, almost like he is searching for approval. And surely K gives him all the approval he needs and that's awesome (cause K makes him feel like he isn't that stupid). You can also tell how he is always so enthusiastic and cheerful all the time : he is young and he wants to enjoy life ! And that makes perfect sense that he ends up with someone as desillusioned and sarcastic as K. I think K needs that a lot actually x). Must be refreshing and comforting. Finkel is adorable. Just as Alfie said : he ends up in this situation because of wrong circumstances. He surely does not want to be a soldier, and obviously does not want to be any part of the nazi system: he surely is in the army because it was mandatory, or even before it was mandatory because he wanted to be with K. Just as Alfie said : he is just in love. That's all. Just like a lot of regular soldiers, he must go on and do as he is told, so he can survive with the love of his life. Great life eh ?... :( I don't know if he is part of any group of resistance and I would say no for two reasons. 1) Finkel is loud, dumb and awkward. Not a great idea. 2) I am sure K would not want him to be. He would like to handle things on his own and be sure Finkel is safe. And I am sure Finkel would feel bad for it but would agree with him.

I would never call him a bad person.

Ok Klenzendorf now. There are so many things to say. Sam Rockwell first shall we ? Sam Rockwell is amazing in this role. He just fits perfectly. I have watched a lot of movies with him before and I always loved his part the best in those movies. But in Jojo Rabbit. Omg I was like Pikachu on that meme : :O !! I was gagging !!! (Just ask my gf). He was awesome and the character is PERFECT. Far more complex than Finkel of course, because he is a crucial character of the film. (And a fan favorite of course). He isn't black or white. He isn't a nazi, in the sense that he doesn't believe in this ideology at ALL. That's why he doesn't take his job seriously : that's a fucking rebel and you can't tell me I am wrong. He surely is in the army since WW1. So again : it wasn't his direct choice to be in the german army. But we can tell he likes his job : he likes being a soldier, that was a choice he made before Hitler. But he was let down by this system : all the clubs he used to go to were destroyed, he suddenly could go to KZ because he was gay, his boyfriend could go to KZ because of something he would say or do, his eye lost he couldn't even be seen as valuable by this same system...just imagine seeing the Germany you fought for crumble and fall around you. Being someone and then BOOM being nothing to your country. worst : being someone your country doesn't want at all! Yes that's fucking horrible. And in the film there are evidences that he fights against this system that let him down: the fact that he knows Rosie (who is in a group of resistants) and she HITS him and he says nothing ! That's just like the biggest clue : they are in the same group. X) Rosie's bikes and the gestapo scene when he helps Elsa and Jojo and how he saves Jojo at the end. So yeah surely a resistant. And... he can't to anything else. He can't refuse a mission as a soldier : it would make him in danger, and what he does could make FINKEL in danger too. And if you had to obey to save yourself and your lover I know a lot of ppl out there would do the same. He even tries to convince Jojo to stop thinking about jews, he tries to change his mind ! So he is a complex character and he shouldn't even be a controversial character in the first place. Any sane ppl who watch the film and knows its history should think that way. He isn't the best person, but he is a good person, even if he surely loathes himself for the things he has done. I love him so much!!

There :D thx for the ask.

[readersguidetotheuniverse]

TOP 10 PRIDE EDITION

June is LGBT pride month internationally, a very needed celebration to remind everyone that LGBTIQ+ people exist, their feelings are identity are valids and they deserve the same rights and recognition as anyone else. Today is the day chosen in many countries to celebrate the Pride and, also, today marks the 50th anniversary of the very first Pride parade in New York City, after the Stonewall riots in 1969. A very special day in an already very special month. So we thought, what better way to honor this beautiful celebration than to share some of the best LGBT young adult novels of recent years?

I don’t consider myself LGBT, but I do love reading LGBT stories. I personally believe it’s important to read stories of/by people from different backgrounds and going through different struggles than our own. It’s important to educate ourselves, especially considering how f*cked up the world is and how slowly we advance in terms of human rights. Reading these stories may help you understand the way other people see the world and how the world sees them. And we could do with a little more empathy and kindness these days, to be honest.

So far, I have mostly read stories with gay/bisexual male characters, so I will focus on that for this post, but I will continue educating myself reading stories with trans characters, lesbian characters, non-binary characters, etc…

Here’s my TOP 10 gay YA novels:

#10: Autoboyography, by Christina Lauren

Christina Lauren are great just in general so a book of theirs is always a great choice. About this one, I just loved it. Very well written, one of those books you just want to keep reading and when you get to the end you wish you would’ve gone a bit slower so it wouldn’t be over so soon. I love that the main character is bisexual, cause these books mostly include gay men but very rarely bisexual men and they deserve representation too!

#9: Captive Prince, by C.S. Pacat

This series is not for everyone, let me warn you now. It does touch some very delicate, controversial issues (rape, slavery, abuse…) but I promise you, it is way better than it sounds and I’m sure it’s better than you imagine. It’s dark and intense and passionate but tender at times, especially around the third book. You’ll have to wait for romance but it’ll be worth your while. If you give it a chance, keeping an open mind, it may surprise you.

#8: Two Boys Kissing, by David Levithan

Today it’s very easy to find amazing LGBT YA books but a few years back it was way harder, simply because there was no market or opportunities for them. This one I consider a classic among these great new LGBT novels for teens or young adults. A good story that really gives visibility and history of LGBT people the importance that they deserve. I also recommend checking out other David Levithan books, he’s got many great novels!

#7: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, by Becky Albertalli

You probably heard about this one already, considering how well its movie did: Love, Simon. So well that they’ve done a TV show inspired by it, too! This is absolutely one of the must reads on coming out and finding your place in the world. Simon and Blue are cute as can be and the rest of the characters are also great, some even got their own book! You’ll love all of them and will root for Simon and Blue from minute 1. The movie is also really good and funny!

#6: Heartstopper, by Alice Oseman

This comic series (or graphic novels, however you wanna call it) is the cutest I’ve ever seen, I swear to god. It will warm your heart and will have you smiling through the whole thing and you’ll just wish for more. The characters are so relatable, their story is just adorable and the drawings are so lovely. Even if you are not into graphic novels, this one is almost a must. There are three volumes out, volumes 3 and 4 are expected for 2021 and 2022, and I’m already desperate for them.

#5: Red, White & Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston

This is the most recent one of the bunch. A really good, fresh, modern story that defies classic values and the status quo and just makes you happy. This book has been so well received, has won many awards, and I’m so happy about it, because it’s rare to see LGBT books being recognized as romance novels and not in their own separated category. And it’s time to recognize that romance is romance no matter who you are and appreciate good stories. She’s got a new book coming next year and I just can’t wait to have it.

#4: They Both Die at the End, by Adam Silvera

This is not your typical LGBT story. Well, I don’t think this is typical in any sense, and that’s the appeal of it. In case the title is not enough for you, I can assure you this story is very original and well written. This is not a love story per se, this is a story about life, and love’s a part of it. The characters are so cute and realistic. You’ll wish page after page that the title got it wrong. If you like it, I also recommend checking out other Adam Silvera books like History Is All You Left Me and More Happy Than Not. They’re unconventional and great, too!

#3: Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell

This is basically Harry Potter if Harry Potter was gay. Kind of bordering gay Harry Potter fanfiction. And it’s magnificent. The magic and fantasy of the Harry Potter world with the inclusion that modern world craves and lovable characters you won’t get enough of. A bit of enemies to lovers as well, which I just love. If you like fantasy, this is definitely for you. I promise you, you’ll love it. It has a sequel I’m dying to read and there are more on the way!

#2: HIM, by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen

This is possibly the most mature book on this list and one of my absolute favorite books ever. For starters, I love their writing style. Also they give us both characters’ point of view so we get a full picture of the story, which is great. We can see two young adults figuring themselves out, what they feel, who they are, in a sports world where LGBT people are not usually welcome. And it’s just fantastic. The sequels are also really good.

#1: Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

This, right here, is one of the best books I have ever read. Period. Nothing I can say will suffice. The story is so human, the characters are so real and go through so much and you feel every little bit of it. So relatable, adorable, painful sometimes, but mostly just pure emotion. The only thing I missed in this book is more pages, I just want more and more. I just couldn’t stop reading so it was over too soon! But no worries, there’s a sequel in the making!

Happy Pride! Whoever you are and whoever you love, happy reading!

[cowboyjen68]

My girlfriend is bisexual, I adore her so much. What makes me sad is that I can’t call her my femme as a butch, even though I dote on her like I would dote on any femme and she dotes on me as a femme would a butch. The lesbian community is already so small. I don’t see why things can’t change to include bisexuals in butch femme culture if they truly understand the history and know it’s not just about appearances. It breaks my heart that bisexual women just want to be included in something beautiful and we exclude them from it. I don’t think it hurts lesbians for a bisexual woman to call herself femme or butch. I think that this is a change that is going to happen regardless, so instead of pushing back, we can include bisexual women with open arms and educate them on a history they were alienated from because of biphobia and bisexual erasure, I think lesbians can do better than the ones before us. And if we want to keep butch and femme culture alive, this could be a good thing to include bisexual women. These are my two cents, from a younger butch lesbian.

Hi. I understand this dilemma. I have been in love, deep love, with a bi woman who loved my butchness and made me feel handsome and loved. And I was honored to make her feel beautiful and listened to and safe. We had a wonderful dynamic and lots of passion. But being bi she did not have quite the same energy as a femme. Since she was able to have attraction to men, she was not a femme. A feminine woman? Yes. Powerful in her womanhood? For sure. Our chemistry was undeniable but, that did not make her a femme. 

There is a difference in the energy, the experience and the connection to loving women between the lesbians and bi women I have known.. Not bad or worse or better. Just different. I found it beautiful in its own way. 

Think of this. You love a woman who is capable of seeing the wonders of both men and women. She is unique and amazing in a way only bisexual woman can be. She deserves to be seen for just that. She deserves not to be erased by muddying the waters of her sexuality. She should be appreciated for who she is and using a word that that is not accurate for her will not honor her specific energy. 

I can say the woman i loved had her own special energy and way of taking up space. Of existing in a world that saw her as straight. None of that mattered when I looked in her eyes and it was just the two of us. Her power was unmistakable. 

There is not really a way I can speak about the history of butch and femme past my experience and the stories of my older friends. I have not read much theory or deeply studied much butch/femme history because I would rather speak from my own story, my own life. I don’t presume to know how others, through history, through different regions and through various socio-economic backgrounds felt or how they attached to the words butch and femme.  

Just like most of us, my opinion is formed some from what I see, hear and read on the internet or at festivals or other events. The majority of my feelings about butch/femme come from my life and the lives of my friends and community, that community being women I know in real life. They are formed from Campfire stories, drunken nights at the bar sharing past exploits and potlucks where I heard about dating, love and social interaction from before I was out. 

My opinion, and, it is my opinion, is very much based on my experience and interaction with women. Lesbians and bi women share many things but we are different. Bi women don’t have the same energy as a femme to me. It is just not the same. Different does not make it worse, or better, The difference, for me, did not make it harder for me to love, feel passion for or truly be honored by the way she loved and treated me, as a butch, as the woman she loved.

It is always ok for a specific minority to have words that belong to their culture, their unique way of existing in the world.  Butch and Femme belong to lesbian culture, both now and when I was coming out and long before was born. Sometimes we love someone so much that we want to share certain things with them, but not every one gets to fit in every where. And bi women are not butch or femme.  

 Butch and femme will not die because we don’t share. We are born and live whether others like it for not. If everyone can used the words and they become meaningless as ways to define a specific type of lesbian then the words will surely be in danger,  Love your girlfriend with all you’ve got. Revel in the way she makes you feel and be honored she loves and trusts you for who you are, for your butchness. And love her for how she is. A bi woman.  

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: May and June Books

I must apologise for the late arrival of this post. It should have been up days ago but I’ve been struggling to read much for the last month or so. My head has been very foggy and dark with all of the confusion, anxiety and hate that has been filling my news feeds and I’ve been filled with a desire to combat it. Before this month, I’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation but recent events have given me the kick up the butt to actively do better. I’ve been calling out bigotry when I come across it and I’ve noticed that some people, notably my older relatives, haven’t necessarily reacted favorably to the changed, more outspoken Alex. It has been pretty daunting and I’ve worked myself up into fits of rage and tears several times over the last couple of months.

A lot of things have changed for me since my last Alex Recommends post. I’m currently temporarily living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend because my depression got too bad for me to stay at home for much longer. I missed him unbelievably much and I knew that spending some prolonged time with him would help -and it has. Both him and I have spent 12 weeks religiously following all of the rules, so we’re both extremely low-risk for catching and spreading COVID-19 and being together was something that we simply really needed to do. Please don’t hate me for it! In other news, I have also started writing again, which feels amazing. I’m now a few thousand words into a queer Rapunzel retelling that I have lots of ideas for. Maybe I’ll even post an extract or two, when I feel it’s ready to show you.

In the centre of the renewed energy of Black Lives Matter and the undeniable exposure of the horrors that is police brutality, the book blogging and BookTube worlds vowed to uplift Black voices. I wrote a very long, in-depth blog post full of Black-written books and Black book influencers. Please check it out to diversify your TBR and educate yourself on Black issues, which is what every white person should be doing now and always.

June was Pride Month and I tried my best to compile a series of recommendation posts in honour of it. These included gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, ace, pansexual and intersex lists. I’ve had some great feedback on this, so I hope you find some fantastic new reads. It felt especially poignant to put them together the same year that one of my childhood heroes came out as an ignorant trans-exclusive feminist. As a lifelong Harry Potter superfan and someone who has repeatedly publicly supported Rowling in the past, I feel the need to clarify where I now stand. I do not support or agree with a single thing that she has said in recent times with regard to transgender people. I’ve never felt my own status as a cisgender female threatened by trans people wanting more rights or believed that children or women were at risk due to their existence. 

I read her words more than once and struggled to find any semblance of the woman who wrote the books that have most defined my life. I’m hesitant to say that we can always successfully separate the art from the artist but I will say that it makes sense to me that the Rowling of 2020 is not the same Rowling that wrote Harry Potter. She was a destitute single mother when Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and of course, she is now a million worlds away from that lifestyle. It breaks my heart but it makes sense to me that she has changed beyond belief because her life has changed beyond belief. I’m not and never would make any excuses for her recent behaviour and I have stopped supporting her personally but I will not be getting rid of my Harry Potter books and I will undoubtedly re-read them several more times. However, I am now hugely reluctant to buy any more merchandise or special editions of the books, which saddens me but at the moment, it feels right. There is no coming back for her from this and I will make a conscious effort to keep Harry Potter and Rowling away from my future content. It can be really tough to admit that the people you once really admired aren’t great humans but it’s something that we all have to acknowledge in this case, in order to move forward with our own quests to become our best selves.

It didn’t feel right to post my May recommendations last month as I didn’t feel comfortable promoting my own content in the midst of boosting Black voices. So today I’m bringing you a bumper edition of Alex Recommends. Here are 10 books that I’ve enjoyed since the start of May that I’d love to share with you. Enjoy! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Set in the affluent neighbourhood of Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s, two families are brought together and pulled apart by the most intense, devastating circumstances. Dealing with issues of race, class, coming-of-age, motherhood and the dangers of perfection, Little Fires Everywhere is highly addictive and effecting. With characters who are so heartbreakingly real and a story that weaves its way to your very core, I couldn’t put it down and I’m still thinking about it over a month after finishing it. 

FICTION: Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

When coding nerd Chloe Brown almost dies, she makes a list of goals and vows to finally Get A Life. So she enlists tattooed redhead handyman and biker Red to teach her how. Cute, funny and ultimately life-affirming, this enemies-to-lovers rom-com was exactly the brand of light relief that I needed this month. The follow-up Take A Hint, Dani Brown focuses on a fake-dating situation with Chloe’s over-achieving academic sister and I can’t wait to get my hands on that.

FICTION: The Rearranged Life of Oona Lockhart by Margarita Montimore

Just before her 19th birthday at midnight on New Year’s Eve 1983, Oona Lockhart finds herself inexplicably in 2015 inside her 51-year-old body. She soon learns that every year on New Year’s Day, she will now find herself inside a random year of her life and she has no control over it. Seeing her through relationships, friendships and extreme wealth, this strange novel has echoes of Back To The Future and 13 Going On 30 with a final revelation that I certainly never saw coming.

NON-FICTION: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold

Atmospheric and engaging, The Five details the previously untold stories of Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Kate and Mary-Jane -the women who lost their lives at the hands of Jack the Ripper. Full of fascinating research and heartbreaking accounts of what these women’s lives may have been like, Rubenhold paints a dark immersive portrait of Victorian London and gives voice to these tragic silenced lives. Although we can’t know for certain if these accounts are entirely accurate, they feel very plausible and in some ways, The Five exposes how little time has moved on, when it comes to the public portrayal of single, troubled women.

NON-FICTION: Unicorn by Amrou Al-Kadhi

From a childhood crush on Macaulay Culkin to how a teenage obsession with marine biology helped them realise their non-binary identity, Unicorn tells the story of how the obsessive perfectionist son of a strict Muslim Iraqi family became the gorgeous drag queen Glamrou. Packed full of humour, honesty and heart, this book will give you the strength and inspiration to harness what you were born with and be who you were always meant to be.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Super Miraculous Journey of Freddie Yates by Jenny Pearson

When fact-obsessed Freddie’s grandmother dies, he discovers that the father he has never met may actually be alive and living in Wales. So he has no choice but to grab his best friends Ben and Charlie, leave his home in Andover and go to find his dad! I laughed so many times during this madcap adventure and I know the slapstick crazy humour will hit the middle-grade target audience just right. It’s also a wonderful depiction of small town Britain with a focus on the true meaning of family.

MIDDLE-GRADE: A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll

When Addie learns about her hometown’s history of witch trials, she campaigns tirelessly to get a memorial for the women who lost their lives through it. This wonderfully beautiful novel gives a unique insight into the mind of an 11-year-old autistic girl with a huge heart. Busting myths about neurodiversity while tackling typical pre-teen drama, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry but most of all, you’ll close the book with a huge smile on your face. 

HISTORICAL FICTION: Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

In 16th century Warwickshire, Agnes is a woman with a unique gift whose relationship with a young Latin tutor produces three children and a legacy that lasts for centuries. This enchanting, all-consuming account of the tragic story of Shakespeare’s lost son, the effects that rippled through the family and the play that was born from their pain will send a bullet straight through your heart. Wonderfully researched and beautifully written, Hamnet is worth all of the hype.

HISTORICAL FICTION: The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

When a vicious storm kills most of the men of Vardø, Norway, it’s up to the women to keep things going but a man with a murderous past is about to come down with an iron fist. At the heart of this dark tale of witch trials, grief and feminism, two women find something they’ve each been searching for within each other. Gorgeously written with a fantastically slow-burning queer romance, Kiran Millwood Hargrave’s first adult novel is an addictive, atmospheric read with a poignant, tearjerker of an ending.

SCI-FI: Q by Christina Dalcher

When one of Elena’s daughters manages to drop below the country’s desired Q number, she is sent away to one of the new state schools and Elena is about to find out something she’d really rather not know about the new system. Packed full of real social commentary and critique of life as we know it while painting a picture of how things could be even worse (yes, really!), this pulse-racing, horrifying sci-fi dystopian gripped me from the first page and refused to let me go. 

[thecourtneychronicles]

“Courtney Act says she’s enjoying an endless “hot girl summer”. Which, for those not initiated into American rap memes, basically means she’s having a damn good time.

“I’m kind of lubed up and ready for Mardi Gras, so to speak,” she says. As Australia’s most famous drag queen, active since the turn of the century, Courtney helped lead the mainstreaming of queer culture in this country along with figures such as Carlotta and Bob Downe.

But being a leader or pioneer doesn’t guarantee being comfortable in your own skin. Courtney says that until recently her understanding of sexuality and gender was actually quite limited. When she was performing, she was a woman, but when she stripped off her make-up, she went back to being Shane Jenek, a man.

“Although I did drag, my masculinity and femininity were compartmentalised in the binary,” Courtney says.

But over the past few years, as public discussion of gender, sexuality and identity has grown, she has discovered things are more complex than your genitals, clothes and hair.

“I think sometimes people think identity has something to do with the wrapping, but really it’s the gift underneath,” she says. “It’s about how you feel. For me, I definitely feel like I occupy masculine and feminine qualities.”

Courtney explores this journey in her pop-cabaret show, Fluid, showing this week at the Eternity Playhouse in Darlinghurst as part of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival. It’s a change of pace for her after focusing on television in recent years; first by winning Britain’s Celebrity Big Brother in 2018, then as the runner-up (with Joshua Keefe) on last year’s Australian Dancing with the Stars.

It’s also a far cry from her humble beginnings in the DIY world of drag, which has never been regarded as high art but remains a staple of gay bars and culture worldwide.

“There’s a lot less hot glue and sticky tape in this show, which makes it feel a lot more professional,” Courtney says of Fluid. “I don’t know if that will hold until opening night.”

Set to original music, Fluid was written by Shane and American comedian Brad Loekle. For the most part it’s a one-woman show, with some help from a ballroom dancer in the second half. (“It’d be weird doing a ballroom dance by yourself,” she says.)

The show acknowledges that, more than ever, people are being flooded with “ever-changing and flowing ideas of who we are, what we are and what we might become”.

This is something we should embrace, says Courtney. “We change our clothes every day – we change  our hairstyles, we change our jobs. Everything is constantly in motion and constantly fluid. But we have this idea that our identities are fixed. When we look at our lives they’re actually a lot more fluid than we think.”

Courtney, or Shane, doesn’t identify as trans but has said that seeing more transgender people represented in the media was liberating and allowed her to explore her own doubts about gender. She’s previously been described as “gender fluid, pansexual and polyamorous”, although she no longer embraces those labels as she once did.

“They all work,” says Courtney, who prefers to identify as “just generally queer” these days. “It’s funny … so many of our groups identify so strongly with labels and they’re so important to us. I kind of feel less attached to those labels.”

She also understands why some people might feel confused, or even confronted, by the politics of queer identification. The acronym LGBTQIA+, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual and others, has expanded over the years to the point that some critics deride it as “alphabet soup”. Even those who are part of the community can be intolerant.

“I get that LGBTIQA+ is a little cumbersome from a marketing standpoint,” says Courtney. “But if you find yourself with the time to complain and be confused by a few extra letters, then you’re one of the lucky ones. If there are people that get to understand themselves more because of a letter in an acronym, I’m all for it.”

“I definitely feel like I occupy masculine and feminine qualities.”

Courtney casts a sceptical eye over everything, including the rise of cancel culture, a predominantly left-wing phenomenon which argues that anyone who says or does something deemed to be racist, sexist, homophobic or in any way offensive should be called out, shamed and, preferably, silenced.

Lamenting the state of political discourse while appearing on the ABC’s Matter of Fact program last year, she said: “The volume’s too loud now and everybody’s yelling.” While history showed that people sometimes need to raise their voices, “when you actually sit down opposite someone and have a conversation with them, you get so much further”.

How, then, does Courtney view the debate over religious freedom that has raged ever since Australians voted to legalise same-sex marriage in 2017? She says it’s clear that sometimes people, especially older white males, perceive other people gaining rights as a threat to their own. She says religion can be a lost cause because it is, by definition, about faith rather than rational argument. Still, queer people have to make the effort to engage.

“The way to do that is to get people to picture themselves in other people’s experiences. That’s the only way you can foster that empathy.

“Rather than yelling aggressively back at the people trying to oppress us, I think the most important thing to do is to share our stories.”

Another thing you can do, of course, is march. This weekend, Mardi Gras culminates in the annual parade up Oxford Street, which will feature more than 200 floats and 10,000 marchers. For the first time, Courtney will co-host the coverage on SBS with comedians Joel Creasey and Zoe Coombs Marr, and Studio 10 presenter Narelda Jacobs.

She had something of a practice run hosting the coverage on Foxtel some years ago. “I saw a clip of it the other day,” she says. “And I’m definitely hoping to redeem myself.”

As a character, Courtney has been on the gay scene for about 20 years. The person behind the facade, Shane, turned 38 last week. He grew up in Brisbane and remembers watching the parade on television as a teenager in the 1990s, huddled up close to the TV so he could quickly switch it off if his parents came downstairs.

Shane came to Sydney when he was 18 and attended his first Mardi Gras. “I just remember it was such a melting pot of people,” he says. “It was the first time I really understood what a community was: that there were all these different parts, and we all faced different challenges and struggles.”

But even then, Shane says he failed to really comprehend about what Mardi Gras was all about. Just like many heterosexual critics over the years, as a young man he gawked at the giant dancing penises, fetish-wear and nudity and wondered: why?

“I remember thinking: why can’t they just be normal?” Shane says. “Have your parade, but why does it have to be about sex and penises? Because I had shame about all of those things. I realise now that the parade’s brash display of sexuality liberates the shame … it’s a really radical way to shake people and say there’s nothing wrong with sexuality – not just homosexuality but sexuality in general.”

The queer community has given Shane a lot: acceptance, identity, a career and fame. It has taken him to Los Angeles, where he was based for some years until 2018, and now to his new home in London.

Love, on the other hand, remains elusive. He is “on the rebound” at the moment, though eternally optimistic. “It’s Mardi Gras time, it’s summer in Sydney, I think this is the perfect time to be single. Maybe I’ll find love under a disco ball at the after-party.”

Incredibly, at 38, Shane is about to attend his first ever wedding, straight or gay – his friend Tim is marrying his partner Ben. It is set to be a baptism of fire. “They have asked my ex-boyfriend and me to give the best man’s speech together, which could be slightly sadistic,” he says.

Shane is still adjusting to the relatively new world of same-sex marriage. It’s not for everyone – many queers still think of it as a conservative and unnecessary institution – but it’s growing on him. “Weirdly, seeing all these people get married, I feel like my cold heart has melted a bit,” he says. “I think there’s something really beautiful about marriage.”

It’s a reminder of why events like the Mardi Gras are still so important – a celebration of diversity at the same time as the old divisions between straight and gay are knocked down. As well as marriage, this can manifest in small shifts, like the politics of Bondi Beach.

“I was at North Bondi on Saturday [and] it was surprisingly unlike North Bondi,” Shane says. “It was all families and those banana umbrella things. I was like, ‘Oh, I remember when this used to be [gay nightclub] ARQ, but with more light.’"

“I guess that’s the progress we fought for – the families are happy occupying the gay beaches now.”

Fashion director Penny McCarthy. Photographer Steven Chee. Hair Benjamin Moir at Wigs By Vanity.

SBS’s Mardi Gras broadcast airs live from 7.30pm on February 29. Fluid will return for a tour of Australia and NZ in spring.

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale February 23.”

Courtney’s interview for The Sydney Morning Herald - February 21, 2020

[livingwithkami]

Shinto and LGBT+ culture: Connected from the ancient to modern era

Throughout the years and even now, I have often been asked the view Shinto holds in regard to LGBT+ people and culture. As someone who is both nonbinary feminine and pansexual, with most of my loved ones being apart of the LGBT+ community, and some who practice Shinto as well, this is a topic that is very close to home and personal for me. I wanted to write about this for a very long time, and talk about this in my last article about Shinto and sexuality, as they are related. However as this is such an important topic to me, I felt it deserved it's own article. There are so many things I want to express in regard to this topic so this won't be the only article about it!

Historically speaking in Japan, there are many examples of LGBT+ people and practices that were present, a prominent and most-cited example being that it was commonplace and even a part of samurai culture to be in gay relationships. It wasn't until the Meiji era in 1868, and the influence of Western culture, that it began to be viewed as uncivilized and wrong. As a result, a stigma began to rear it's ugly head, and many important LGBT+ rights began to be lost. Under pressure, openly gay and lesbian relationships; writings and art of them too - began to disappear. Trans and gender nonconforming people began to be pressured to conform to their assigned gender at birth, instead of being able to be who they are freely. In addition, stricter gender roles and heavier patriarchal ideals were enforced even further. While it wasn't absolutely perfect or progressive and there were still plenty of issues, with the advent of the Meiji reformations, any sort of openness and potentiality for progression was completely shattered.

However, much time has passed since 1868, and in the current era in Japan, thanks to the enduring influence of the past despite the Meiji reformations, and the present influences of Buddhism, and especially Shinto itself - the hostility towards LGBT+ people is not as severe when comparing with other countries. Despite the old Western influence remaining in that we still lack full legal equality in Japan, progressions and reforms are happening fast and in great number, despite the current political party's objections - and for that I am very grateful.

Thankfully, there are lots of excellent resources about the LGBT+ history as well as the present situation in Japan and Japanese culture in English, in published books and online - so I won't get too far into it for this article since I want to focus on the Shinto side in particular which isn't as often talked about.

The answer to the question on everyone's mind of this topic - "What is Shinto's view on LGBT+ people?" isn't an easy answer. Shinto is the farthest thing from a monolith. There is no dogma, and no unified organizational structure overseeing all of Shinto in itself. Jinja Honcho comes close to a sort of unifying organizational force, but there are still the 12 government registered sects of Shinto, hundreds of individual shrine faiths that while not officially registered as sects, are essentially as such in that they don't align with Jinja Shinto's common views - such as the focus on Amaterasu Omikami - for example. Shinto also encompasses the thousands of varied folk practices in rural areas; and holds a very long and complicated history.

In other words, to put it simply, there is no true existence of an authority to speak for all of Shinto in and of itself as a whole practice. There are authorities in each tradition, such as the Head Shrines where the faith and worship of a kami began, that maintain the general beliefs, history, myths, stories, and rituals. But as Shinto in it's very essence is not dogmatic - every tradition, shrine, and each individual priest can and will have differing views and opinions about the various different aspects. It can even be as split down to two priests working at the same shrine having completely different interpretations on beliefs.

While Shinto is a practice that has a lot of freedom in interpretation and encouraging individual thinking, I strongly feel, personally speaking, this is not a "free card" excuse to dishonor the core values that makes Shinto, well, Shinto - the Way of Kami. Respecting and honoring nature, supporting each other, caring for each other, respect to our ancestors, working to be good people, taking care of the community, and so forth. This is the common thread that unites all of Shinto - the different traditions, the shrines, and the practices.

That being said, while there isn't a simple and direct answer to Shinto's view on LGBT+ people as a whole - I can say one tradition at the moment has made a groundbreaking announcement on matters for the LGBT+ community. This year the Head Shrine of the tradition I follow, Konkokyo Shinto, openly, officially announced and confirmed support of the LGBT+ community. This makes it the first Shinto tradition to do so. The Head shrine is also supporting the Konkokyo LGBT Kai (Group), run by LGBT+ clergy, with other clergy and laypeople members who work to support the activities of our group - myself and my partner included.

Many of our Konkokyo shrines had been holding same-sex marriages for many years, but with this decision, we now are also actively supporting the community as a whole, with our shrines being safe spaces for LGBT+ folks. Having the official approval from the Head Shrine is so validating and I feel so proud and happy to be a priestess of Tenchi Kane no Kami and of Konkokyo. I wrote a full article about the announcement here: http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-paths-blogs/living-with-kami/konkokyo-lgbt-kai.html

I can only hope other traditions follow suit, and have their support be clearly defined.

Informational pamphlet from the Konkokyo LGBT Kai, about clergy and laypeople, as well as terminology

While there may not be an official support from Jinja Honcho, other Head Shrines, or traditions (yet!). I still know of there being a lot of openness and acceptance. For example, Tsubaki Grand Shrine of America has also been holding same-sex marriages for over 20 years, and welcoming of LGBT+ parishioners and worshipers. In Japan, many other shrines have been holding marriage ceremonies for same-sex coupes too. Within the Jinja Shinto sphere, I know an ordained priestess who is a trans woman, and openly bi and gay priests too. Generally speaking in the Shinto community as a whole, it is very open and accepting. I have only encountered a few people who have not been accepting, but thankfully they are not the majority.

This makes sense as well, as historically Shinto has generally had LGBT+ friendly views - being LGBT+ was not seen as tsumi, or a "wrong deed that went against nature - a crime". There are records of ancient miko of the Izu Islands, who were said to be "men who lived and thought of themselves as women", but it was very clear in the ancient era only women had the power to be miko - female mediums, spiritworkers, and priestesses in the ancient era - so the miko of the Izu Islands were truthfully trans women. There are other examples of miko not from the islands who fell in the same definition in ancient times. In addition, even some of the nature-spirit and ancestral kami themselves were viewed and are still viewed as being gay. For example, an excerpt from "Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan" by Gary Leupp writes,

"During the Tokugawa period, some of the Shinto gods, especially Hachiman, Myoshin, Shinmei and Tenjin, "came to be seen as guardian deities of nanshoku" (male–male love). Tokugawa-era writer Ihara Saikaku joked that since there are no women for the first three generations in the genealogy of the gods found in the Nihon Shoki, the gods must have enjoyed homosexual relationships"

In addition, one could understand quite a few nature-spirit kami as transgender, genderfluid, nonbinary, and agender too. For example, the first three kami, Ame no Minakanushi no Kami, Takamimusubi no Kami, and Kamimusubi no Kami could be interpreted as agender, as they are said to be genderless in their myth. The next example would be Tenchi Kane no Kami, who is said to be a kami who is encompassing of all genders, but also genderless too. One could interpret them as nonbinary or genderfluid.

Then we have Amaterasu Omikami herself as well. In one myth, she dressed in masculine warrior clothing and hairstyle when she confronted her brother, Susanoo no Mikoto. One could interpret this in many ways in regard to how she expresses her gender as a kami that is not always fully feminine. In addition with regard to her sexuality, depending on one's interpretation of the cave myth and Ame no Uzume no Mikoto's exposure of her breasts, one could see her as having either lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual attraction. This interpretation can be further supported in the ancient practices of the miko priestesses of Amaterasu Omikami. In some of these practices, the priestesses would ritually be wed to Amaterasu Omikami, and also share of an intimate bond with her in sacred ceremonies.

This practice was not only limited to Amaterasu Omikami, but many other female kami as well, such as Ame no Uzume no Mikoto herself, and Konohanasakuya Hime no Mikoto. Since both Ame no Uzume no Mikoto and Konohanasakuya Hime no Mikoto also have husbands, Sarutahiko Okami and Ninigi no Mikoto respectively, this also can be interpreted in a lot of different ways that is not particularly heteronormative.

Inari Okami is one of the most prominent examples, and often seen as a LGBT+ icon - sometimes they are a man, sometimes they are a beautiful woman, and sometimes they are androgynous, sometimes they are no gender at all, and sometimes they encompass many or all genders. One can interpret this as Inari Okami being known as a shapeshifter, or some may see Inari Okami being multiple kami as one - I feel the interpretation of Inari Okami as genderfluid, or nonbinary, or any other expression, is also just as valid.

People may not agree with these interpretations or even see the concept of kami having gender like people is incorrect, or foolish to believe. However, if the kami mythologicaly and traditionally are said to have genders, have sex, attractions, and marriage - I believe it is not out of place as an interpretation. Someone personally seeing some kami as a part of the LGBT+ community for their own personal belief harms no one. On the contrary, it can help to develop a deeper bond, trust, and understanding between us and the kami. Which that sincerity is key and most important.

Now, I say this in regard to nature-spirit kami in particular, but in Shinto, once-living humans are also worshiped and respected as ancestral kami, often referred to as "mitama-no-kami". Someone who is a part of the LGBT+ community and has passed away is worshiped and enshrined as a mitama-no-kami just the same as anyone else, and to be properly respectful, they would still be honored as who they were when they still had a physical body - that does not change.

In addition, as I mentioned earlier, samurai had various romantic gay relationships. They too are enshrined as mitama no kami. One may know famously about Oda Nobunaga, who is enshrined as a mitama no kami, and Ranmaru's romantic relationship. As well, there is one such famous example of a mitama no kami who was most likely a trans man - Uesugi Kenshin. Many have said he could have been a woman in disguise - but - he had various medical checks and observations of his body by professionals at the time, and was still referred to as a man and could act as leader of the Uesugi clan without falter.

It is even recorded he experienced illnesses pertaining to his abdominal area every month around the same time of the week, but this did not change any existing records in regard to his gender. It is also extremely odd that for a daimyo (samurai warlord) at that era, where it was common to have multiple concubines to secure a successor, he did not have any biological children and even faced a succession crisis that led to adoption. Of course, there is no way we can confirm historically of whether he was a woman in disguise or a trans man, but there is a lot of evidence historically pointing to him being trans. He is now enshrined as a mitama no kami at Uesugi Jinja in Yamagata Prefecture.

While there is still so much I want to talk about on this topic, and I could most likely write a book! I want to mention something perhaps not directly related as much but a fun mention: the rainbow's colours are sacred in Shinto, as seen in the 5 sacred colours used for many different sacred items in Shinto. Red, Yellow, Green, White, Violet. The colours are said to represent the 4 directions around the world, and our own soul.

I hope then, that in all 4 directions around the world, people can come to realize that LGBT+ rights are also human rights, and we aren't odd, strange, nor dangerous. We are all apart of nature, all apart of this universe together. Let's respect the various colours of everyone's own souls, and work to uphold and support each other as a whole, unified community with love.

[dumdeeedum]

“The Magicians” Alice/Quentin/Eliot Love Triangle? Que? No, let’s stop the fuck right there...

I’m so frustrated with how bad Wednesday night’s episode of “The Magicians” was and with how bad this entire season has been, especially with how poorly they’ve handled anything to do with Alice, Quentin, and Eliot. I mean, generally I’m frustrated with how bad this show can be way too often but I’m going to try to keep my thoughts as organized as I can.

I want to preface all of this by saying that no, I don’t believe they’re still pursuing Eliot and Quentin because they’ve still given me no reason to. I just wanted to express my thoughts on these rumors of a love triangle and who knows, they might go that way, I don’t work there. I just know that for now they’ve set things up in a really poor way and I don’t see a true Eliot and Quentin outcome happening for a while if at all.

First I gotta reiterate this in case it isn’t clear: this is not a well-written show for me, it’s a fun show, to be sure, but not a well-written one. They have too few episodes to get away with the amount of dicking around they do and it’s clear they have no direction even when they have source material to draw from, and that’s a bad combination and a big problem. And those are just some of its issues.

A show like “Black Sails,” for example, had about 8 episodes per season and made good use of every minute of them because that’s how you tell the story you want to tell when you have limited time and can’t fuck around with filler. Very similar situation with the show “Spartacus” with a similar number of episodes per season to “The Magicians” and they wrapped it up in 4 seasons. But I tend to think 4-5 seasons is the limit before a show loses focus and goes downhill anyway. 

It has also become clear to me that Sera Gamble has no interest in doing anything progressive. She wants to be one of the boys, play the game and get ahead which is her prerogative but at this point people have to come to terms with the fact that she’s always been a White Feminist(tm) and quit fucking around like she gives a shit about equity for marginalized communities or even visibility. All of the bullshit to do with Sera Gamble has been known for years now, too, so I’m not even sure why anyone would be surprised that she sucks at this point. I’m sure she’s sitting somewhere right now unable to understand where she fucked up and why because she doesn’t have it in her to accept criticism and it shows. Last I heard she’s still going after people on twitter for not liking the outcomes of her dumbass decisions as a show-runner; bitch, grow up!

You know what would be truly radical in this series? Stop having these women live for these men. Julia is off losing her autonomy to a man, again, Kady is about ready to allow herself to die because she misses her boyfriend, Margo is ditching the plan to save her best friend over some super mediocre, joke of a man she can do better than without even trying, and Alice is once again in Quentin’s orbit and having nothing to do for herself. Yay, feminism? You’re fucking kidding me, right? 

And now I’m hearing people saying that they’re trying to set up a love triangle in season 5 between Eliot, Quentin, and Alice and I think the idea of this disgusts me more than if they’d just drop Eliot and Quentin as a pairing altogether after the massive fuckup that was the latter part of this season. How obtuse do you have to be to think a bisexual love triangle would be appropriate queer representation given our social climate? But here’s the thing, they’re playing on your intelligence if they do this, again, and I’m about to explain why.

Yes, it’s going to get lengthy because I’m going to be discussing the show from a social but also from a narrative standpoint, but you know me by now.

Don’t get it twisted, what they would ultimately be doing if they went this route is giving us even more straight representation while under the guise of bisexual representation given that Alice and Quentin are now back together, as a straight couple whether you think Quentin is bisexual or not. And that’s what matters when it comes to queer visibility. We’ve gotten straight Quentin pairings now from seasons 1-4 and they’ve yet to have Quentin explore any same-sex romantic partnerships or even fantasies other than the nonsense with Eliot because those were blink and you miss them moments. 

And here’s the insidiousness of all of this and I really want people to think about this: They would use this as an excuse to still appear as though they were doing right by their queer audience while once again only really exploring one facet of Quentin’s supposed bisexuality, the more palatable one, while ignoring the other, more taboo one and calling it bisexual representation. That is not good bisexual representation, at all, how can it be?

And god forbid you raise a stink over these poor attempts at representation because then you get accused of hating and bi-phobia and of erasing Quentin’s bisexuality and blah blah blah. And, really, bisexual, where? Where are we going to get this exploration of Quentin’s sexuality while he’s dating Alice again and Eliot is somewhere in the sidelines dealing with the aftermath of being possessed by a being who murdered people using his body? 

Can we stop with the intellectual dishonesty? Can we stop accepting these insults to the intelligence of the lgbtqa community? 

And no, don’t even pretend the idea of a poly-amorous relationship wouldn’t be a fucking absurdity given their history. Quentin and Alice broke up because Quentin fucked Eliot and Margo. One of the people involved in that betrayal would be one of the last people Alice would want to share her boyfriend with. And that’s if she would even be OK with a poly-amorous relationship to begin with because the idea seemed to disturb her when her parents were doing it and frankly, not everyone is poly-amorous, in fact, most people aren’t. 

Unfortunately, that’s just part of living in a heteronormative society where people, as a whole, just aren’t evolved enough yet to have explored other types of relationship dynamics because of the restrictions society has placed on them and it is what it is. The polyamory argument doesn’t even belong in the same space as the bisexuality argument because it makes bisexuality seem like a life choice as opposed to something people are born as. I’d say it’s less realistic, right now, to have everyone OK with sharing their significant others with everyone than to have a person identify as bisexual! Most people don’t have the self-confidence or the conditions to improve their self-esteem enough to even explore poly yet, and some people just aren’t into it and that’s their right, but I digress.

It just seems like everything that should have been happening in this season would instead be happening next season if they went this route and the only difference would be that they’d have made it palatable for their straight, homophobic audience by having Alice on Quentin’s dick the majority of the time they should be using to explore Quentin’s sexuality. When would they have time to give Quentin the important moments of introspection he needs to figure out whom and what he wants? Even his getting back together with Alice was very abrupt and didn’t seem like a well thought out decision on either Quentin’s or Alice’s part. Why couldn’t they just be single for a while if they were going to waste season 4 and work on this in season 5??

But this is just what they do by now because they can’t write a good romance. Straight shit gets put on the fast track in an absurdly unrealistic way, everyone’s in love in 5 minutes, smart, beautiful, boss bitch women date mediocre men when we’d never see it the other way around, and anything queer gets a couple of seconds of screen-time at best before someone is killed off, or they add a woman to the mix for no good reason, or we have to do a 50 year montage with no actual romantic intimacy to establish tha they’re even romantically interested in one another, blah blah, woof, woof.

Here’s a good question for those of you bi-Quentin-stans: None of you think it odd that while these creators kept alluding to exploring a canon male/male pairing with a bisexual character Alice and Julia, two women whom have exclusively dated men, have still had, to date, a longer, more sexually charged make out scene than gay Eliot and a supposedly bisexual Quentin ever have? Not to mention that the only time we explore Quentin’s sexuality in fantasy it’s some super fucking trite women making out for his pleasure fantasy.

No one thinks about why that is? No one thinks that perhaps it’s because depicting lesbian situations for the male gaze is a super common thing to do in media and is another one of those things that allows creators to pretend they have queer representation when really they’re trying to draw male views by exploiting the women of their series? It seemed pretty obvious to me as soon as I saw it but I haven’t fucked around with critiques of this shit in a long time and I don’t let this shit slide.

So now if they went the love triangle route in season 5 how would that work?

We’ve gotten a story line where not only was Eliot right that Quentin wouldn’t choose him when Quentin has the choice, but Eliot is going to have to come back and see this shit and deal with it on top of whatever massive trauma being possessed like this would inevitably cause. Do we really see Eliot saying anything to Quentin after that knowing what we know about Eliot’s way of handling shit? 4.5 leaves us thinking that maybe Eliot now sees that perhaps he shouldn’t have been so quick to reject Quentin and that perhaps Quentin would have chosen him and that Eliot wasn’t right to suggest he wouldn’t and yet here we are. And knowing what we know about Eliot would he try to get between that?

I actually think they’d done a good job closing the chapter on Alice and Quentin when Quentin told Alice he didn’t love her anymore and closed the book and I think they could have explored a really good friendship between them after that! That should have been when Alice and Kady did their own library thing and became more fully-fleshed out characters in their own right and when Quentin started exploring his own options and realizing he would choose Eliot even if at the time he thought Eliot wouldn’t choose him. Because this is something he should have been thinking about anyway!

There seems to be a pretty big issue that no one is considering about 4.5 and it’s a result of this ret-con having been handled so poorly so they couldn’t do what really needed to be done with the aftermath of it. The rejection conversation was really fucking poorly done because it was such a short, almost throwaway scene! We have Quentin get his memories back and immediately jump to wanting to be with Eliot and Eliot rejects him, for very good reason, in my opinion. Quentin seems a little bummed about it and then the scene ends. But from what we know about episodes 3.5 and on, Quentin hasn’t given it another thought. It didn’t even come up when he talked up Fillory to the plant so I really reject the premise that it was so traumatic for him to be rejected by Eliot that he didn’t even want to talk about anything to do with Fillory. Unless he’s even more immature than I thought it seems really unlikely that being rejected would eliminate all the other good shit in Quentin’s mind that relates to that lifetime, like, I don’t know, his fucking wife, his son, his grandchildren!? Miss me with that and stop excusing the shit decisions they make for Quentin in this show.

Was the idea here that they continue to go this route where everyone is expected to consider Quentin's feelings but he isn’t expected to consider theirs? Quentin has a habit of being inconsiderate dating back to season 1 (For Julia, his best friend, not getting into Brakebills was her punishment because she wouldn’t fuck him, Alice shouldn’t be upset that he cheated on her and Quentin doesn’t have to respect it when she tells him to back off, etc.) and the reasoning is always that Quentin’s got a low self-esteem and depressive issues but that’s not good enough now with 50 years of life experience under his belt. It’s especially not good enough when it comes to a man whom he’s known an entire lifetime through good and bad. So why didn’t they have him even consider what Eliot said to him and the validity of it?

Eliot explicitly says to Quentin that he knows Quentin so he knows how this would turn out, and Eliot was right! But somehow when Eliot rejects Quentin it isn’t incumbent upon Quentin to consider why Eliot would do that even though Quentin knows his own dating history and that he’d had a wife in Fillory? We’re just supposed to accept that Quentin just took the rejection at face value without even really listening to the wording or thinking about where Eliot might be coming from? Neither his nor Eliot’s problems or desires in the real world have suddenly disappeared just because they got their memories of Fillory back and Quentin knows that. Eliot made that point when he rejected Quentin, in a way, so isn’t there more to consider here? It’s especially egregious for this to be Quentin’s take away when we remember that Eliot didn’t have a husband in Fillory so Eliot was always there for Quentin and Quentin’s son and even Quentin’s wife in ways Quentin couldn’t be there for Eliot. How could it be as simple as “in the real world, you don’t do it for me” by Quentin? That’s just dumb.

A better scene would have had Eliot qualify his rejection to a man he spent 50 fucking years in love with so that Quentin could consider Eliot’s feelings on the subject before jumping to conclusions or even making a decision about them. And Quentin could have taken a moment to discuss Eliot’s insecurities if he really wanted to be with him or even just understand them. But instead the takeaway is more “poor victim Quentin isn’t special.” That’s just bad writing!

And what about Eliot? What does he get in all of this if they went the triangle route? Would they then allow him to explore a non-toxic relationship of his own or would he be sitting by like a dog and watching this shitshow of a romance between Quentin and Alice for however long it takes before they give us a sprinkling of Queliot? And who will be there to support him when his best friend is off fucking around with that loser Josh and Quentin is back with the girl that Eliot was afraid Quentin would choose over him? This effectively leaves Eliot alone to handle shit the way he’s always handled it and that’s just bad for his character after all the development he’s had. 

What kind of queer representation is this going to be moving forward? We barely got Eliot this season, will he just sort of be there next season and have just as little to do as he had this season? He has nothing more to do in Fillory so where will they stick him now?

Narratively, everything that’s happened post 4.5 has really fucked the ability for an Eliot and Quentin pairing to work unless they double time it in season 5 and I don’t see how they can when Quentin is with Alice again. The show-runners have really gone out of their way to erase anything having to do with Eliot and Quentin as a couple to the point where it makes 3.5 and 4.5 seem like alternate universe versions of the show that don’t fit into the rest of the series. It’s clear to me at this point that they’re trying to move past the idea of Eliot and Quentin as a couple so even a triangle would seem really bizarre in light of that.

I’m not seeing it, I’m really not and as much as I know people want to hold out hope that Eliot and Quentin will happen I just feel like at this point the show would be trying to run out the clock without giving them anything substantial the same way they did this season. Everyone’s obviously free to do what they want with that but realistically I would hold out and not give them ratings until we see if they give us something that isn’t insulting bullshit.