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endless-ineffabilities · 6 months ago

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chemical override (5)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: the support for this fic has been amazing, so trust me when I say that I take no pleasure in all the angst and heartache that follows (or do I?) I'm sorry, readers. I'm sorry, Ewan. We'll sort this out somehow - all my love, Freyja <3

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

A beginning. A first date. Whispers, sightings abound. Falling in love. A necessary lie. Hearts breaking. An end.

Ewan stands in a studio backlot in LA, bouquet of flowers clasped in one hand while the other is nervously stuffed in his tracksuit pocket.

He's itching for a smoke, but he stops himself from doing so, in some lovesick attempt to keep himself as clean and nice-smelling as possible when he sees you again. He already mentally kicked himself for not dressing better, clad in his staple Adidas blacks. But he couldn't wait any longer.

His flight from New York to LA hadn't been the most pleasant. His mind raced for hours, the thought of you being his only consolation. His meeting did not go well.

But enough of it. There is you, here, now.

In this moment, you are all that matters.

The first couple of workers make their way out the studio doors, chatting enthusiastically despite their tired faces. Ewan shuffles on his feet, keeping an eye out for you. Soon enough, your assistant Clara exits, and he waves in an attempt to get her attention.

"Ewan!" she greets brightly. "She'll be out in a while. Are those flowers?" A blush materialises on her face, and she looks so excited Ewan awkwardly thinks she would take them for herself.

"Yeah, do you think she'll like them?" he asks, giving the bouquet a once-over. The classic dozen long-stemmed red roses, kept together with black-dyed muslin wrap.

"She'll love them!" As if perfectly timed, the doors open again, and they spot you walking out with several of your co-stars. Clara smiles to herself as she walks away to give you two some space.

When your eyes land on him, it's like everything falls into place, the ear-splitting smile you give him enough to quell any worries he might have. You meet each other halfway, melding together in an embrace so tight he nearly drops the flowers to the ground.

"Look who it is," you say, still wrapped in his arms, "the internet's babygirl."

"Just your baby, darling." He pulls apart, but only just enough to look at you. "I missed you."

"Mmm, I can see that."

You're about to comment on the flowers, but he can't hold back any longer.

And so your first proper kiss happens behind an LA studio, adjacent to the parking lot and surrounded by prying eyes. The burnt orange haze of the sunset peers from the horizon, casting a glow on the scene. And it's perfect. His lips are gentle as they dance with yours, his warm breath fanning your face when he breaks apart for mere milliseconds, only to resume the kiss as if he can never get enough.

A moment later, there's a couple of woohoos from a distance, your costars oooing and aahing at the sight, making you giggle against Ewan's lips.

"Shall we, then, darling?" Ewan asks.

"Shall we?" Your brows raise, mirroring his question.

"Our first date." He takes a step back, but only to ceremoniously hold his hand out for you to take. "Will you do me the honour?"

"Why, good sir, are we going on a regular date or some super fancy ball?" you laugh, lacing your fingers with his anyway.

He only smiles, planting yet another kiss on the corner of your mouth. "God, I missed you."

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You can't help but cast glances at him every now and then. Ewan, effortlessly cool as he drives the both of you across LA, with one veiny hand gripping the steering wheel while the other envelops yours on your lap.

His thumb draws circles on the back of your hand, and you're thankful for it; you need the comfort because you're growing nervous. A first date.

A first date! And not just with anyone.

"What is it?" he smirks, his eyes finding yours as the car idles at an intersection. There's a smugness there. He caught you staring.

You avert your gaze, a pleasant wave of heat rising to your face.

"Hmm?" he leans across, pecking your cheek and resting his forehead against your hair, eager to get a rise out of you. "I mean, I've been told I'm handsome, darling. You already know, something of a babygirl. But it's even more special that you think so."

The light turns green. You grab his jaw, and lightly push him away, raising your eyebrows. "Careful, baby," you smile knowingly. "Your Aemond is showing."

"Oh, yeah?" The car revs up again, rows of palm trees speeding past in a blur. "Does that - uhh - turn you on?"

Your head snaps to him at his bold insinuation. He gives off an unaffected air, smirking to himself in an undeniably hot what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it way. But you make him nervous too. He swallows, and clears his throat, anticipating your response.

"Maybe," you bite your lip, squeezing his hand harder, "but you don't need to put on your Aemond to turn me on."

"Just me, then?" he chuckles lowly, feeling lighter.

"Yup," you shrug. "But if you ever wanna put on a blonde wig and an eyepatch, I won't stop you."

"For when, darling?" Oh he knows what you meant. It's been a constant on his mind too. He's lost count of the nights when thoughts of you consume him, and what happy news it is that you might have been going through the same.

"Mmm... " You look out the window innocently, but you guide his hand higher up on your thigh, allowing his fingers to splay open and squeeze at the flesh covered only by the material of your jeans.

A minute passes. Driving past a street of exclusively only mansions and expensive cars. Then downtown, low-rise buildings as far as the eye can see. Another minute, slow and steady.

Then he says, "You're going to fucking drive me insane, baby."

A soft sigh escapes your lips. "Well, you started it."

He sneers, accompanied by a humourless shake of his head. "I think you overestimate my self-control." The air is thick, but it's quickly diffused when he pulls into a clearing. You realise you're out of the main road, the car slowly coming to a halt in an empty lot beside a low brick building.

"We're here, darling," he says, but he gives you a look that clearly means this matter isn't over. You have something of his, and he's going to claim it.

He half-jogs over to your side, opening the door for you and taking your hand in his.

"Where are we?" The building is nondescript, with a plain white facade, a small cafe and a laundromat on street level, both of which happen to be closed.

"Had to call in a favour from an old mate of mine. His family moved here from Derby a couple of years ago, and they own that laundromat over there," he explains, leading you inside through a door in the side alley.

You're met with a narrow flight of stairs and he gestures for you to go ahead. "What have you got up your sleeve, Mitchell?" you ask, excitement taking root as you climb up to the very top.

It only takes three floors before you reach the heavy steel door of the roof deck. He shuffles to your side, one hand on your back to keep you steady, and pushes the door open which relents with a loud squeak.

You're met with something you have only seen before on Pinterest boards - the rooftop is softly aglow from hanging string lights. In the far side, a screen projector is set up, and in front of it is a low plush sofa cocooned amidst throw blankets and cushions. There's a wooden tray on one on the blankets, containing treats of all sorts and a bottle of wine glistening in its ice bucket.

You take in the magical ambience of the scene with widened eyes. The haze of faint LA sunlight only serves to make everything more beautiful, though it seems hardly necessary.

"Do you like it, darling?" he asks and what a ludicrous question it is. Do you like it?

He continues, "I admit I didn't have to lot of time to set it up, and I had a bit of help but - mmmpph - "

You lace your hands around his neck, silencing him with a searing kiss. He moans unto you, his tongue dipping past your lips as he nearly relinquishes control. He could forget about the set up, the date he had planned, and just take you here on the rooftop. Would you let him?

"I take it that everything is to your liking?" he purrs, watching you in adoration as your head swivels on its own accord to canvas the scene yet again.

You spot something in the corner - a bouquet of fresh flowers surrounded by some lightweight paper lanterns.

"Oh no!" you moan. "The flowers you gave me... I left them in the car!"

He laughs fondly at the sheer panic on your face. "Don't worry about them, my love. I've got more flowers for you here." He points to the bouquet you just saw.

"But those ones... won't they wilt or something? I don't want them to go to waste."

His heart swells at your genuine concern. The furrow between your brows, the way you chew on your lip in worry, your fingers absentmindedly clutching his wrist - it all makes him fall even harder.

"They'll be fine, darling."

"Are you sure?"

He nods once, pulling you in, "Mhmm, just... come here, please." Another kiss, gentler this time.

This is bliss, he thinks, sweet solace after his days in New York, days he aims on forgetting from now on.

You eventually find yourselves on the velvet seat, the tray of food nestled on your laps. He pours wine into the paper cups as you reach for a chocolate-covered strawberry and bring it to his lips.

"Thanks, love," he mumbles with his mouth full.

"Oh, baby, you've got chocolate on there," you motion to his bottom lip.

He sets the cups of wine on the tray, making a move to wipe it off, but just as his fingers hover, his mind takes on an alternative action.

"You do it, then," he leans close, tilting his jaw.

"Okay." With a smile, you begin to oblige him, but you halt when he playfully says, "Not with your hands, darling."

You feel your heart race at his teasing, and at the way he stares at you with blatant desire. Never mind the fact that you were just making out moments ago. The rush of being with him has not subsided. Maybe it never will.

You kiss him, paying mind to the smudge on his lip, licking your own lips afterward to savour the taste.

You pull back slightly. "All better," you say, patting his cheek lovingly.

"Hmm," he hums, "I suppose I'll just have to make a mess of myself more often."

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Nightfall had already descended when the credits to The Princess Bride start rolling, dotting the sky with twinkling stars.

Ewan has his arm wrapped around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, before he declares, "If they ever do a remake to this film, I'll only take the role if you would be my Buttercup."

"As you wish," you smile, nuzzling closer against his black hoodie. "I remember watching this when I was a kid. Believe it or not, it was one of the films that inspired me to get into acting."

"Did you wanna be Buttercup, my Buttercup?"

"No," you respond. "I wanted to do what Inigo Montoya was doing. He's so insanely cool."

"Of course you did," he says affectionately, "my darling."

"What about you, hmm? Did you always want to be an actor?" you ask. You might have read an interview of his where he explains something to that effect, but he doesn't need to know that now.

"As far as I can remember, yes. It was always going to be acting for me. Even when everyone laughed it off when I brought it up in primary school." He shakes his head, the once bitter memory reduced to an anecdote. "I... I find purpose in what we do, being able to slip inside different skins, different lives. It allows me to explore the human psyche, you know, and to make sense of all this madness."

You listen intently, in awe at his words and his sheer sincerity. The world is made better with Ewan able to live his passions. And you feel fortunate that his life is one he may be willing to share with you, if everything goes well down the line.

"I almost forgot - you have to tell me about how your big meeting went."

He shifts slightly, eyes darting downward as he pouts on instinct. He realises he can no longer keep the subject under wraps.

You sense his reluctance, and immediately try to soften your approach. It could have gone either way, and though rejection is part of an actor's bread and butter - you certainly would know - there are some instances where you just let it get to you.

"Is this producer as scary as they say?" you ask lightly, poking his chest.

He smiles, but his expression is still clouded. "You know those mafia dons in Scorcese's movies? This guy practically inspired them, I'd say."

"Goodness."

"He did try to give off a welcoming air, but there was still something... sinister underneath."

"I suppose when anyone is afforded this much power..."

"Especially in this industry..."

"Mhmm." Face half-burrowed in the soft material of his hoodie, you tilt your head up at him. "So it was a bust, huh?"

He shrugs, "The role just wasn't for me. It's all for the best, I reckon."

You hold his hand tight, eager to soothe any worries he might have. "That's a shame. They would have been damn lucky to have you."

He smiles, flattered by your comment. "I am lucky to just be here with you, darling."

You smile in return, tilting your lips to his, coaxing him to lean in close and seal the kiss.

And he does.

And this is the most perfect first date there ever was or ever will be.

"Darling?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I've fallen in love with you."

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The next few weeks pass blissfully slowly, you and Ewan caught in the euphoria that only a fresh relationship can bring.

Rehearsals for your upcoming movie had ended, and you get a month off before filming begins in Atlanta. Ewan also stays in LA, keen on spending every waking minute with you. His team takes advantage of the situation, booking him for several interviews and a feature with Esquire. You were more than happy to accompany him - or rather, distract him - on these occasions.

Once, the team even jokes that you had to stay in the other room because Ewan keeps looking over at you behind the camera and forgetting what to say. Ewan, of course, quickly protests. "My girl stays with me," he confidently says.

It doesn't take long for news to spread. Rumours, at first. Allegations bred from blurry fan photos and supposed encounters with yourself and Ewan while out in LA.

They were holding hands!

They're not just friends, I swear. He was kissing her the whole time in the restaurant!

What about her and Jacob? I thought they'd been dating all this time?

House of the Dragon stars spotted on a date in Hollywood!

Headlines. Gossip fodder. Statements made by people who claim to have seen you.

Sure, you do meet some of the sweetest and friendliest fans during all this, who only gush at the sight of their favourite actors getting together.

There are others, especially online, who are less pleasant, accusing you of cheating on your supposed lover Jacob Elordi.

Jacob, already used to rolling with the punches, gives you a call so the two of you can laugh it off together.

"I'm happy for you, mate," he expresses, voice muffled from the other line. "You and Ewan... you guys just make sense. Do you remember that night when he stormed in all jealous like? Holy shit..."

As if on cue, Ewan shifts underneath the sheets from behind you, peppering your naked back with soft kisses. "Tell him I said hi," he whispers, his tone doing nothing to mask his possessiveness.

And so the days roll on, and it couldn't be more perfect.

That is, until the first cracks started to show. As they always do.

You're in a meeting with your publicist Mallory, at one of the many quaint hipster cafés in LA, discussing your upcoming filming schedule and the other things you have booked in between.

"You've got a busy few months ahead, but the film is of course top priority," she says. "It's slated to be the top rom-com of next year."

"That's great, Mal."

"I mean, I think you know that Ewan was meant to lead that romance-fantasy franchise? That's a big deal, and people are saying it'll be bigger than Twilight!" she gestures wildly with her hands. "But since he had a falling out with Bruce Haversham - and trust me, if he ever sets up a meeting with you, you do not want to go against him - what was I saying? Oh yeah, the release for that will be delayed so your film will get prime spot for a summer premiere."

You grow apprehensive at her words. Ewan never got into detail about that meeting, and you didn't really want to pry. But if that producer's reputation is indeed accurate, it doesn't bode well for Ewan's career that he might have done anything that displeased him.

With a sickening dread, you realise that Haversham might have something to do with Ewan failing to book the two films he went for in the past month. Despite the fact that the local casting director practically raved about his audition, and stated that he pretty much had both of the roles in the bag.

"Mal, you know Donna right? Ewan's publicist?" you ask, knowing that she and Donna are under the same agency. "Does she talk to you about Ewan at all? About what went down in New York?"

"A little, honey, yes," she admits. "But about that meeting, I thought you would know. He didn't tell you?"

"Not in too many words, no. Just that it didn't work out, and that the film wasn't meant for him."

"Oh, I see," she smiles, almost ruefully, like she feels sorry for you. That look compels you to ask, "What do you know, Mal? Tell me."

Her hand reaches and clutches yours atop the table. "From what I heard, he refused the role because of you."

"What?"

"It's rare with young actors like you guys, to be so devoted so early on."

Growing impatient, you say, "Mal, please, what are you saying?"

"Look, I don't know the details of it. But apparently Haversham wanted him to get into a PR stint with his love interest for the film, and to hide whatever real relationship he has going on with you. This ordeal was going to be more restrictive than the arrangement you have with Jacob, which is more or less over at this point."

"I didn't know that," you whisper hoarsely.

"Honey, don't worry about it," she consoles you, taking a sip of her coffee. "Like I said, I don't know much. I can get you in touch with Donna if you want to speak with her? I'm 100% positive it's not all bad. There's one thing we can be sure of, at least!"

You look at her expectantly, unable to formulate a guess.

"That boy loves you!"

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With only a few days left before filming, you had begun to make the final preparations before moving to Atlanta.

It's a late night, one laden with anxiety and nervous jitters, and the several shots of whiskey you had just taken do little to keep the walls from closing in.

Although, perhaps, it is better if they do. If they imprison you, even just for tonight, to keep you from whatever it is you plan to do.

It's for the best. I have to do this. I'm doing this for him, you keep telling yourself. You keep repeating the lies, letting them bounce relentlessly in the walls of your mind, until you fool yourself into thinking them to be true.

You had met with Donna a few days prior, and the whole situation was made clear to you. You didn't know for certain when the decision formed in your mind, but it's there, as real as the love you feel for Ewan.

The love you will have to bury.

He picks you up in his rental Rover, after you told him that you wanted to go for a drive. But you ask him to park his car behind the private apartment building where you're staying.

The car grinds to a halt, like a signal for you to get it over with. There is no going back now.

"Ewan... I - " You can't push the words out, more so when he reaches for your hands and squeezes. He looks at you with those eyes, expecting anything but what you're about to say.

"I'm sorry," you try again, and your voice breaks. His face slowly drops, the mood instantly changed, but the worse is yet to come.

"What are you sorry for, darling?" He rubs his thumb along your cheekbone, the sensation willing you to just abandon your plan completely. To abandon the lie.

"Whatever happens..." Just get it over with. "...I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. We are friends first, aren't we?" Peel the bandaid. Rip it off. Let it bleed.

"I'm afraid I don't follow," he says.

You sound robotic, emotionless. But one wrong turn and the floodgates may break. There's a lump in your throat and you push it down. Reminding yourself to act - use your fucking acting skills if you actually have any. Now's the time. "We can't be together, Ewan."

There it is, sounding itself into existence, ruining the love you have in front of you.

His hand drops, as if he recoils back into himself. Away from you. It's cruel, but you know you will have to do more damage. You have to make it stick. This becomes clear when he says, "No", with conviction. "No, darling," he repeats. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ewan - "

"You're not being funny, darling." He tilts his head, testing you, giving you the chance to retract your words and start laughing at your twisted joke. Darling comes out a mockery, something to say out of spite.

He takes a deep breath, leaning back in the driver's seat. "I don't... I don't accept this." He looks straight ahead, his lips pursed and jaw taut. "Fucking... why ?"

"I just... don't think it's going to work out."

"Bullshit."

Your words come out rushed, "You should take that role. I don't want you to hold back just for me. This could be something really great for you, Ewan. This could be it! Most actors pray for an opportunity like that to come along and I wouldn't want you to - "

"That's the reason?"

" - refuse it because of me. So we should - "

"Stop."

" - end this."

Silence. Not a single sound in the near-empty parking lot. No sirens in the distance, no pedestrian chatter. Just slow, heavy breathing in this rental car, both of you looking out the windshield. It feels stuffy all of a sudden, and not in the heated way when your limbs entwined in a jumble in the backseat a mere week ago.

"Please. I... I don't want to end this," he pleads. His knuckles are bone white, harshly gripping both sides of the steering wheel in an attempt to anchor himself. He shakes his head, and with some sense of hope, he says, "I don't care about that role. Okay? It's not the end of the world if I don't accept it. Have some faith in me, darling. I'll make it work. Surely there are plenty of other things down the line."

"Ewan," you whisper. You knew he would say this, which is why you prepared something worse. If that were even possible. You suck on your teeth, pulling on whatever poison you keep hidden away. You sigh and look away, a gesture that lets him know nothing will change your mind. "This fucking PR relationship business... it gets to you, you know? We don't know any better. I for one never expected to feel this way about - "

"About?" he finally turns to shoot you a look of betrayal, the pain in his eyes clear as day.

"I might have feelings for Jacob," you lie, "or I might not, I don't know. But there's something there, and I... I can't let this - us - go on while I'm conflicted about everything. It wouldn't be right."

Nothing about this is right.

But you go on, "I'll be off filming, with him, for a couple of months. And it's only going to make everything more confusing, and it wouldn't be fair to you, I know that - "

"I love you."

It's the first time he ever utters those three words, completely and without any doubt. He says them, despite everything you said before. And he means it.

A tear falls down your cheek, and you squeeze your eyes shut to keep the rest at bay.

"I'm sorry," you look at him, in finality, and you want nothing more than to passionately kiss him hard on the mouth, to hold on to him tight and plead for him not to let you go. With your quivering form, you amble out of the car. Every step worsens the weight of what just transpired. His side of the car opens, and he calls for you, but you can't bear to look back.

He catches up to you, breathless and with a wild look in his face. His blue eyes swell with tears, but his brows are scrunched down as if he isn't bothered by them.

"I want you to look me right in the eye and tell me we don't matter. I want you to tell me you don't love me," he says, and it's the most vulnerable you've ever seen him. He searches your eyes for something, anything to hold on to. Part of him is still desperate enough to grasp at straws, on the hope that you will change your mind.

But the other hardened part, has become angry. Indignant. Because how could you do this to him? The only girl he has ever loved. So he needs to hear it from you, clearly. He needs you to drive the final nail on the coffin.

"I do love you," you croak, and you do nothing to stop your tears from flowing freely.

"Darling..."

"But I can't be with you," you turn away, one last time. "Goodbye, Ewan."

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Some time ago, during the meeting in New York...

The lush office was laden with expensive wooden furniture, one side with built-in shelves displaying film awards and plaques of varying degrees of prestige. A full glass minibar occupied the other side.

The casting director introduced himself as Bruce, insisting that Ewan call him by his first name and not any of that "sir or similar stick-up-the-ass names". Ewan can see him as a mentor or maybe even a friend, Bruce insisted.

After all, they were going to help each other out a lot...

(to be continued)

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Update! Read the second bonus chapter here ~

💌 next chapter

HOW DARE YOU, reader. How dare you.

The gif above paints a clear picture of Ewan's heart breaking in the car 🥲 just in case you guys needed a visual aid 🥲🥲

Next chapter - the meeting in New York, the reader's conversation with Donna, and.... we see them move on from each other (?) You know these bloody actors, one relationship in the first half of the year and then another right after...

Feel free to come for me in the comments <3 it was the most heartfelt chapter, after all. Also, let me know what yous want the bonus chapter to be about!

#ewan mitchell #ewan mitchell x reader #ewan mitchell imagine #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #chemical override

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bonefall · 2 months ago

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Clan Culture Illustrations

So I've been mentioning this in passing, and I think now is a good time to start collecting info from people who are interested!

I'm seeking artists who want to draw stuff for my Clan Culture series.

I often write very large guides for things like tools, ecology, medicine and treatments, etc, which then get held up by the fact that they're big blocks of text without any fun pictures. I usually collaborate with friends and family, but I could put out more quicker if I had some artists on standby.

If you're an artist who would be interested in illustrating, here's the details;

Everything I make on this blog is tailored towards WC fans, but free for anyone to use and reference for their xenofiction worldbuilding projects. You do not have to be intimately familiar with the Warrior Cats books. This offer's open to anyone above 18.

Fans of Better Bones are preferred, because Clan Culture and BB often intersect. I might ask for help with some BB stuff at some point, too. (for example i have a guide on types of StarClan spirits that needs illustration)

To re-iterate, please only inquire if you're 18+

Price range is 20 - 50 USD and turnaround time can be up to 6 months if you just keep me updated. (I am sorry that I can't offer a higher price for these, but this is coming from my own pocket. In return, this is meant to be low pressure)

Half payment upfront, the rest after completion.

I will never "assign" you a surprise mystery topic (unless you ask for that I guess?), I'll either present you with a list of posts that need illustration (yes this means you get to read stuff early), OR float some ideas that play to your strengths and interests. (for example: if I'm approached by Spider-Enjoyer-9000 who's willing to draw a ridiculous number of spiders, I will draft, write, and research a Clanmew Expansion in the style of Deer and Co or Moths and Butterflies.)

Either way, there's usually a lot of creative freedom here unless I need a specific technical drawing, which I will discuss with you and provide references for. (As an example, if we were talking about a post on declawing, I might ask for you to illustrate the muscles within the paw.)

The nature of Clan Culture means you will probably be asked to draw plants, food, objects, and/or scenery

Still interested?

I'm hoping to make a personal "list" of people I can call on, so send me your commissions info or details in a DM, an ask, a reply to this post, or anything else you'd like. Tell me about stuff you like drawing, topics you're interested in, if you can draw backgrounds, etc

Also, please tell include in that message if you're comfortable with illustrating these particular sensitive topics. These are opt-in only;

Medical Gore (Woundcare, stitching, blood, vomit, urine, parasites and bug bites, etc.)

Reproductive Care (Abortion, birth, pyometria, inducing lactation, possible revamp of the HRT guide including simple surgeries, etc)

Hunting and Butchery (Humane killing of prey, skinning, disembowelment, cutting meat, making sausage and blood pudding, etc)

Funerals and Animal Death (Sad kitties, dead battle cats, scavengers and grave desecration, tombs and burial rituals, concealing decay, etc.)

The end art will always stay tasteful, but I might need to give you references in the form of real images or tutorials that might be upsetting if you're sensitive to these topics-- so it's important to me that I consider those four things "opt-in."

I have plenty of other posts that need illustration, it's just a huge plus if you're able to do these too.

(You should also mention any other specific triggers or phobias you have, so I don't unwittingly come at you with something else upsetting)

"I still have questions!"

Putting a big list of answers beneath the cut;

"Would everything have to be colored?"

Nope, as long as there's pictures to break up the text, you can do sketches, black and white, flat colors, only put color in the header, etc. We'll discuss expectations with the post in front of us, and then agree on price.

I have ONE requirement; it's gotta look good on Tumblr darkmode. Because I use Dark Reader.

"Do you have a Discord?"

I do, I just try to be exclusive with who I give it to! When we're discussing details, we'll probably move over there if you'd like. This is a reason why I only want to work with 18+ artists, I'm not always SFW on main.

"Can we do an entry together about (specific topic)?"

Probably yes, so feel free to ask! The worst that will happen is that I say no, or maybe later. For example, I've got a post on Sweetness Tolerance reserved for my partner (they like to draw sweets), so I would say no if you asked.

Just keep in mind that researching, outlining, and writing is unpaid labor I'm doing completely for free. I have posts mostly done that just need art, and topics I've done some research on. Please only ask for special collaborations from scratch if you're serious 🙏

"Does it have to be digital?"

You'd have to have a WILD idea for me to say yes to anything non-digital, but I am a queer of whimsy. If you can whimsify me with an idea, hell yeah.

"Will I be compensated if you need any changes?"

Yes. If I spring anything on you after the details we agree on, I will first ask you, then ask how much that change would cost, and then compensate you for it.

As fair warning though, I am trying to stay within a budget and writing the posts themselves is unpaid work I do (plus occasional helping hands during research stages, I consulted a friend who is an irl wetlands expert for ShadowClan's environment). I can't pay more than what we agree on.

"Can I link my info in the post?"

Yes. "Guest Artist" is going to be named in the opening paragraphs, along with any fundraiser, shop info, carrd, etc, you want there.

"Boosty?"

Yea I got Boosty. Paypal, too.

"I have some other question about pricing"

Feel free to ask, but my hard budget is 20$ - 50$ US. Please only inquire if you're willing to charge within that range.

"What if I'd do it free or I want to do this anonymously?"

I'll donate to a charity of your choice and link to it in the post. If you have no charity preference, I will link to RAINN, Anera, or The Trevor Project.

(Naturally this comes with an anti-ghoul caveat or two. If you try to get me to donate to something like Autism Speaks I will rotate every bone in your body by 45 degrees.)

"I like checklists, can you give me a checklist of info you want in a DM?"

Sure!

Your info; socials, carrd, shop, etc

General interests and strengths. Stuff you'd love to work on, or have insight to. If you like fishing or drawing bugs, I want to know that. If you particularly want to practice flowers, tell me. Be as detailed as you want so I can pair you with a relevant subject!

Your examples

General asking price (or charity)

Which, if any, of the four Opt-In Subjects you're opting in for.

Anything else I should know (triggers, phobias, things you dislike drawing, if schooling or disability means you need a particularly long turnaround time, etc)

#bone babble #If other questions pop up I'll add em slowly #Seeking commissions #Clan Culture #This would probably start up in a couple of weeks but collecting this info now is useful #If you're curious-- right now there's a HUUUGE one on Shadow's cultural overhauls #A really old one on flax processing that needs to be rewritten #One about parasites. Another on spiritual entities.#And a plan to answer like 30 individual asks by wrapping them all up in Woundcare 101 #My ask count is close to 3k btw

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dipperdesperado · 1 year ago

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Get Organized!

I recently made a post about how to get started in doing radical stuff. Said otherwise, that post was meant to answer the question, “Where do I go, when I know the world is fucked?” This post covers similar ground, but is more interested in the theoretical side of things. Not to say it won’t be practical. It’s just saying that if you’re not the kind of person that can read a little bit and feel confident to act, or you like having a little bit more scaffolding, that you also deserve a resource. I’m hoping to contribute to that today. As the title says, we’re going to be focusing on organizing. This is one of those things that is said a lot, but is actually defined much less often. Tangentially, you should be aware and ready for this for literally everything relating to politics. Any word that you hear used, you should always ask for a definition. Many a movement would have gone differently if folks spent more time trying to find semantic alignment. Anyway.

When I say organizing, I mean catalyzing the energy of folks, acting from a specific theory of change. A theory of change is a thought process or method to create some kind of social impact in a particular context. When the world sucks in some particular way, and you want it to stop sucking, the answer is to organize, in the way defined above. By organizing, we lean on the idea of collective power to create changes that are currently only afforded to those with authoritarian power. It’s a game of evening the odds.

I will also note that this assumes that you are going to be framing your work around broad-based movements, that have (mostly) aboveground (as in “legal”) tactics. This is not necessarily a statement of what is correct; small groups that are in concert with larger movements are also able to be successful, even when doing more confrontational tactics.

So, to organize, I’d say it would be useful to be involved in movements already. You can look at my radicalism 100 post to see how that could look. Either way you have to know what your where your niche(s) lie. In other words, what sits in the middle of the intersection between what you like to do, what you are good (or can become good/have a willingness to become good) at, and what is needed in your context. I tend to center the local level, because that is the area where influence is more tangible, and fits into how I see a resilient world coming to fruition. So, you have to ask yourself, “What can I do, that I would enjoy doing, in my community?” Then, you should find some other people who are in that same vibe. Depending on your approach, this may take no time at all, or a lot of time. I listed some ideas for finding folks in radicalism 100, but to reiterate: look for social medias and IRL presences of people who are into the same topics, and connect with them. See where you can plug in, and see where the contours of organizing in your local contexts are. Ideally you can see places where gaps can be filled.

Once you find an issue that you think has potential, and you have a couple of people to do some organizing with, you have what I think of as a catalyst group. This group is meant to start (or assist) in a certain kind of reaction, but not lead it. Trying to control movements is both futile and antithetical to liberation. So, to ground us, we have two very important ingredients: a topic/issue/area of focus to organize around, and a group of folks to work with. Once this is in place, you can co-create a strategy with your organizing team. I’d recommend employing an encircling strategy as your long-term or meta strategy, where multiple sub-strategies and campaigns happen within this frame. Essentially, this allows you to employ campaigns across a matrix of tactics. Within the encircling frame, you can create a campaign (what I consider a “short-term” strategy). Campaigns are a series of actions over time. Strategies are a series of campaigns over time.

A useful way to think of strategic planning is by separating the process into stages, grouped by movement size.

Small: Organize small actions/protests, figuring out ways to build movement visibility and interest

Medium: Focus on scaling up the participation, through mobilizing efforts. Promote your actions, get people involved, and encourage meaningful action.

Large: Create a movement. The kind of thing people hear about.

To organize on the smallest level, the easiest thing might be to just do plan actions that are well within your team’s capacity, organize those actions, and execute. If you can swing it, I’d really recommend to not lean too much into symbolic actions. There are risks with every action, no matter what legal frameworks your locality has. If you’re going to do something, you have to be very intentional with:

what you hope to accomplish through the action

a high likelihood of success for the action

doomsday planning in case something goes wrong

If you’re able to do this, then you will be leagues ahead of a lot of other folks. This is not to make it a race or a competition, but it is moreso to say you can symbolically represent and catalyze action without becoming a martyr.

As you’re doing actions, you should be refining your idea of who’s impacted by the issues more and more. As that picture gets clearer, you should spend more and more time understanding and listening to those folks. Ideally, you get to a point of co-creation, where you are enabling people to fight for themselves and build their autonomy. That is the kind of thing that prevents movements from dying. Organizers should be trying to put themselves out of business, in a sense. Catalysts should be able to come from anywhere.

To scale up, I’d recommend a focus on meeting folks. Take the ideas of deep canvassing, where you empathetically have conversations with whoever is impacted by the issue you’re responding to, through the lens of giving power to those people. Rather than asking them to feed into some established system of power, encourage them to take action into their own hands, as a collective.

I’d also recommend that as capacity grows, build a “positive” or “constructive” power. This can look like a lot of things. Whether it is a block club, neighborhood pod, community council, or community assembly, dedicate energy into creating spaces where people can start building their democratic and consensus muscles. These can simultaneously act as the training ground and alternative governance structure that allows folks to start making decisions for themselves in a very specific way.

This will ideally allow the movement to really start to be intersectional. It should be intersection minded from the outset, but that can be difficult to meaningfully actualize in the early stages of the movement. since single-issue movements are inherently brittle (if your movement revolves around getting something on a ballot, winning or losing just ends the movement)—there are throughlines that connect all movements, and those lines should be made visible and traveled. Environmentalists should fight for housing rights, LandBack, Reparations, and a host of other things. The more developed our networks, the stronger our movements will be.

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rollercoasterwords · 2 months ago

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hello, random question but i was just wondering if u ever read kimberle crenshaw? and what do u think of intersectionality?

hi yes i have read some crenshaw & in particular her writings on intersectionality! her coining of the term took place in a pretty specific context (analysis of black women navigating legal systems in the u.s.) but the concept she's discussing--the imbrication of various identities such that they become inextricable--is something that many people and in particular black feminists had been discussing & theorizing long before the term "intersectionality" came into use.

as for what i think of it--kind of a difficult question to answer...sort of feels like someone asking me what i think about gravity lol. like intersectionality is just something that exists, y'know? i do think as the term has become more widespread it's been diluted & conflated with words like "diversity," etc. a lot of people seem to think intersectionality just means looking at various identity categories as lego blocks that you can stick or unstick, and the more you stack together the more intersectionality you have.

when i'm trying to explain the concept of intersectionality to my students, i usually find it helpful to contrast the lego-block metaphor with the idea of mixing paint. if i have red and blue paint, and i mix them together, i can't unmix them--nor do they remain red-and-blue-paint. instead, they become something new, purple paint, which is its entire own thing. in a similar way, when thinking about identities in terms of intersectionality, it's not a matter of, say, simply adding together gender + race like two lego blocks stuck together. it's the fact that gender & race are so deeply intertwined that they cannot be separated. intersectionality isn't something you can have more or less of; it's a framework of analysis, and that's why it's become so fundamental to gender studies & feminist theory. i've found that this concept can be tricky to wrap your mind around when first introduced to it, especially bc many of us are taught to think of identity as neat little categories that you can separate out from each other. but once it clicks, it clicks, and then it's easy to see how intersectionality is simply a phenomenon that exists everywhere.

my own work broadly is about the ways in which new forms of racialized gender began to coalesce at the beginning of the twentieth century, so in this way intersectionality is fundamental to what i do; much of what i try to show through my research is the fact that race & gender have always been co-constitutive, and thus cannot be neatly separated into two partitioned categories. so regardless of whether i'm using the specific term "intersectionality," intersectional analysis is a methodological tool fundamental to all of the work i do.

#ask

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mjolnirswriststrap · 1 year ago

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PICKPOCKET

Yelena x F!Reader Masterlist

Word Count: 3,884

Summary: A taxi, an interview, a drink, and then an attempted abduction.

Warnings: fluff, it gets dark for like two seconds, a family of pickpockets, whoop whoop that’s the sound of da police.

The bustling streets of Cleveland were no match for someone 10 minutes late to an interview. This was your fifth job lined up this week, and you tanked the other four. You had no luck when it came to these things, and no one wants to hire someone without experience.

You have two weeks to figure something out, or else your landlord is kicking you from your tiny studio. It’s above a Chinese restaurant, so the smell and heat alone are not worth what she’s charging in rent. You know you don’t have any other options.

You find the corner you told the taxi to meet you at, but it is nowhere to be seen. You wait, no so patiently, biting the remnants of fingernails you have left. Like you said, you have no luck. You see the car stop at the red light across the intersection, and hope this driver doesn’t mind speeding.

You walk to the curb, raising your arm to hail the cab down. A blonde woman walks up in front of you, throwing her arm up walking backwards to match your stance. You have no clue what she’s doing; this taxi belongs to you.

“Excuse me?” You say, nudging past her to reach the car door faster. Her reflexes outmatch yours by a mile, she opens the door, sliding in. “I just thought, we share yeah?”

You stand holding the door open, looking side to side in disbelief. She can’t be serious. “Listen lady, I have an interview I’m already late for, I can’t do this today.” You plead.

You lean down to see the woman talking to the driver through the plexiglass. There’s no time to argue anymore. You slide into the black leather seat, slamming the door. “Me first.” You roll your eyes, jutting out the address of your destination.

The driver peels away, you take a chance to relax. Practiced questions go through your mind. You can’t mess this job up, you options were exhausted. You wipe your eyes, trying to ease the throbbing stress behind them. You pull your fingers away to see them covered in black streaks. Your eyes widen, you forgot you’re wearing makeup.

You grab your purse from beside you, searching for your bedazzled compact mirror. All of the contents of your bag were strewn across your lap, it’s gone. You throw your head back, grunting through your teeth. “What’s wrong?” Your co-passenger asks. You look over to her, the reason evident on your face.

“My mascara.” You say defeated. You know you must look like a pouting child to the woman. Her dark eyes give you pity, and her bottom lip puffs out. “Oh sweetie. I’ll help you.” She pulls a complimentary taxi tissue from the box between you. Wrapping it around her finger she test swipes under your eye.

You’re frozen in place, she’s absolutely gorgeous. You were too fogged by anger to even get a good look at her. If it wasn’t for her telling accent, you’d know she was foreign based on looks. No one from around here looked like her.

She reached forward with her other hand gently holding onto your chin; when a bump cause her fingers to run across your lips. Her eyes are focused on yours, meticulously wiping away the black lacquer. She pulls her tissued hand away, you think she’s finished. “How do I thank you?” You attempt to smile, she’s still holding your chin.

“Not finished.” She drops the tissue and licks her thumb, your eyebrows raise as she wipes just under your lip. “Lipstick.” She says casually, opting to wipe her finger on her shirt sleeve and not the tissue. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Thank you.” You’re too embarrassed now to attempt a conversation.

“No need to thank me, I do it gladly for a pretty woman like you.” You laugh out loud, you were the runt of the litter compared to her. “You don’t have to say that.” You say, letting your hair fall in your face. How did you go from hating this woman for making you later; to wanting her to kiss you?

“That will be 12 dollars.” The driver breaks you out of the daze she put you in. You nod your head, fishing for your debit card. The blonde woman reaches past you, taping to pay on his card reader. “Go crush that interview, pretty woman.” She says, reaching past you again to open your door.

You’re speechless as she shoos you out of the cab. You turn to look at the office building behind you and the taxis already gone. You didn’t even get her name. You kick yourself as you walk into the building, the woman more present on your mind than the interview.

————————————————————————

That’s all it took, the woman’s face consuming your every thought. You didn’t overthink the questions the manager asked. You literally couldn’t, too preoccupied with the way the corners of her lips curled up. You smiled as you looked over your new work schedule. You knew you could do it, god, you’re so happy you could kiss that stranger in the back of the taxi.

You walk out of the building, eyes in a crescent shape, your smile touching each ear. “How did it go?” Your head jerks to the side and your smile instantly fades. What was once a meet cute is now an almost stalker situation. “What are you doing here?” You say, stopping in your tracks. No matter how attractive a person is, you always have your guard up.

She throws her hands up “Hey, no need to act that way. I just felt too invested to not know. So?” She says, not ashamed of her actions, fully expecting you to answer her. “I uh, I got the job.” You can’t help but to smile at your little victory.

“Sounds like we need to celebrate.” She says, pulling her phone from her pocket, searching for bars nearby. You find yourself raising your brows at the stranger yet again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t really hang out with strangers, who invaded my taxi.” You say, regretting turning her down.

She nods her head, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. “You know, I just thought you owe me.” She steps closer to you, entering your personal space. “You won’t get a drink with me but you’ll let me pay your fair?” You look up to meet her eyes, they have a deviance to them. “You did that before I had the chance.” You almost shy away from her, but then she’s telling you her name. “I’m Yelena, and you’re Y/N?”

“How do you know my name?” You say, anxiety coming back. “When he dropped me off, that’s what he called me.” She nods over to the taxi, idle on the curb. “So, can I buy you a drink for being a good girl and getting the job, or not?” Your cheeks blush, no one had ever called you a good girl before.

“One drink.” You say, trying to play off all the emotions flowing through you. “Yay, that’s what I like to see.” She says, grabbing your hand to pull you to the taxi. Her hand was warm, and strong, you don’t know if she saw it the way you did, but it had you gushing yet again.

“Three blocks down, take a right.” She says to the driver, undoubtedly happy to have so much business from you two. “I appreciate whatever interest you have in me, but what’s going on in your life that you can just minorly stalk a stranger?” You say, needing to know more about the mysterious woman.

She smiles at you, “I was bored.”. Hard to believe she had nothing better to do. “So you invaded my taxi for fun?” She shakes her head, “I came back, for fun.” She looks out the window and knocks on the glass “We’re here. Don’t wait up.”

You jump out of the car and wait on her to pay. What a gentleman you giggle to yourself. “Come with me.” She doesn’t reach for your hand this time. Instead she strides in front of you, swinging open the door to the little pub. “My mother works here, so free drinks.” She nods you in.

Can this day get any better you laugh to yourself. Now she grabs your hand and pulls you to the bar. “Mama, this is Y/N.” She yells over the drunk hum of the pub. Her mother looked too young to actually be her mother. They shared no resemblance at all. “Hello Y/N, I’m Melina.” She reaches out to shake your hand, but before she can, Yelena interrupts “Not her, Mama.” She says giver her mother a stern look.

Melina just blinks at her, giving you no indication on what she meant. She still reaches forward and shakes your hand, “It’s nice to meet one of Yelena’s friends.” She says.

“I wouldn’t go that far but.” You say, poking fun at you two being complete strangers. “We’re not friends.” Yelena says, clarifying that whatever this was, wasn’t friendly.

“Good to know.” You say, ordering a beer from her mom. Yelena sits on the stool beside you, speaking up when her mother walks away. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

You take a swig of the beer that was at in front of you. “I didn’t take it any certain way.”. Yelena just looks at you, picking up her beer. “I like you more than that.” She takes a sip, looking away from you. So she was interested.

“So, Yelena, what else do you do besides pester strangers?” You flirt with her, picking at your nails and avoiding eye contact.

She grabs your hand, running her thumb across the peeled skin. “I like meeting new people, it’s not a crime.” You nod your head, letting her play with your fingers. “I’m kind of in my family business.” She says, not letting on to any more information.

“And what would that be? You can’t bring me to your moms bar and act coy now.” She downs the rest of her beer, looking over at you as the last few drops fall from the glass. “You wanna see the family business?” She stands, waving over her mother.

You nod, jumping off your stool. “I’ll see you at home Mama.” “You girls be safe, don’t hurt anyone!” You laugh out loud, not knowing how serious she was being. She starts walking down the sidewalk with you in tow. “Where are we going?” You say, bumping into a man that split Yelena and you apart. You roll your eyes, looking ahead to see Yelena picking up a woman’s purse for her. How caring, you think.

She walks beside you, looping her arm in yours. “To my house.” She says, stopping to smell fresh flowers at a kiosk. “First I meet your mom, now you’re taking me home. What did I do to deserve this?” You laugh.

She makes a quick turn down an alley, dragging you along. “It’s only weird if you make it weird.” She makes a great point. “This is me.” She says, opening a metal back door. “Nat, I’m Home.” She yells out, slinging down her bag.

“You’re home early.” A red head comes hopping down the stairs. She was just as beautiful as Yelena. Too gorgeous to be from around here. “Who’s this?” She says, aiming her attention towards you.

“I’m Y/N.” You give her a small wave, sheepishly standing behind Yelena. She smiles, mumbling to Yelena about needing to pay the water bill. “I’ll get it as soon as I can, it’s been a slow day.”

“Not slow, you’ve been preoccupied.” Nat bites back. Yelena groans “Let’s do this later, please.” She begs, not wanting to to make her company suffer through sisters arguing.

Nat turns around, ascending the stairs. “I thought you meant your business was out of your home, it looks pretty normal in here.” You say still in the dark.

“It is.” She points to the 70 inch tv behind her. You take a better look around and notice brand new appliances in the dilapidated kitchen. There were holes in the couch cover, but a MacBook was sitting on the coffee table. Your eyebrows furrow, “Not to be rude, but it kind of seems like your priorities are out of line. If the water bill needs paid, why own a Mac?” You might have overstepped.

“I’m trying to jailbreak it, it’s not ours.” She says, understanding your confused position. “Oh.” You say, still not understanding.

Yelena walks to the living room, sitting on the couch. “Wanna watch something?” She says, scrolling through Netflix. You accompany her, squeezing in on the love seat. “Of course, i didn’t have plans or anything.” You say sarcastically. This beautiful stranger could keep you here for days and you wouldn’t even notice that time past.

“I got you something.” She says, finally picking a movie. “How is that even possible, we met less than two hours ago.” She hadn’t been out of your sight since the interview. She pulls a tiny gold chain bracelet from her pocket. “I can’t accept that.” You say, feeling instant guilt that she spent money on you.

“It’s nothing, really.” She says, clasping it around your wrist. “I found it.”. You ogle the shining gold, you’d never owned anything like this. “How do I thank you?” You say, turning towards her in your seat. “Don’t, it’s nothing.” She assures you.

You look at your wrist to admire your new bracelet and see the time staring back at you. “It’s getting late, I should probably go.” You say, gathering yourself to leave. “Right.” Yelena says sadly, not letting you see the way her eyes hardened.

You take out a ripped piece of an envelope from your purse and quickly jot down your phone number. You lean over the couch, holding the paper beside her face, due to her keeping her back to you. “Call me.” You say, waiting for her to take the paper. She turns to give you a tight lipped smile and gently snatches the paper from you, throwing it down on the coffee table.

You wonder what changed, one second she’s gushing over you, now she’s acting like you really are a stranger. Walking out of the back alley door, you close it without another word. That was weird, you think to yourself as you make your way towards the smell of home.

______________________________________

You smile as you walk up to a neon red dragon. A bell jingles when you enter, alerting Kevin that someone was here. “I’ll be right with you!” He has his back to you while on the phone, probably taking an order. “It’s just me Kev.” He turns around and gives you a smile, rolling his eyes pointing at the phone. You laugh, he always tells you about horrible customers.

The phone claps on the hook and he turns toward the counter. “You look like your day was worse than mine.” He says, packing a brown paper bag with white containers. You shake your head no. “It was just random. First this woman tries to steal my taxi,”. He raises an eyebrow at you. “Right! Dude I was so pissed. But something else happened that kind of made up for the bad start.” He places the packed bag under the heat lamps. “SPILL IT!” He says, wiping down the counter in front of you.

“I got the job!” You squeal, no one was in the restaurant or else you would’ve been scolded by Kevin’s dad. “Girl, I am so happy for you, now you can tell Mrs. Jones to suck it. You’re not going anywhere.” She was the restaurants landlord too. Kevin’s Dad had many problems with her in the past, but he always figured it out, he told you that you would figure it out too.

“Hopefully, just keep your fingers crossed that everything works out.” You say to him, a customer walks in and Kevin switches his attention. You phone dings and you pull it from your pocket.

Unknown: sorry about earlier, I wanna see you again.

You stare down at the screen, maybe she didn’t have a change of heart. Kevin walks back up to you, his apron gone and the kitchen lights off. Typing out a quick reply you stand from your stool. “Who you texting?” He says, curious.

“No one, just the woman from the taxi…” you say, hoping he doesn’t catch on. “And why would you be texting her?” He ushers you out of the store, locking up for the night.

“We might have gotten a drink after the interview. And I might have went back to her house.” You look at your feet, far too ashamed to face your friend.

“Okay, where do I even begin? Are you crazy?” Kevin says, grabbing your arm, stopping you from turning down the alley to your door. “Hear me out.” You laugh, trying to play off the severity of it.

Kevin crosses him arms, “Please, explain why you threw caution to the wind and went on a rendezvous with a possible murderer. I’m listening.”.

“First of all, she’s not a murderer. Secondly, she’s hot.” You say, finally making the short walk to your door. You unlock it and look behind you. Kevin shakes his head in disapproval, “Just, promise to be safer next time?” He asks, pressing a button on his key that makes a loud beeping sound. The headlights of his car flickered against the side of the building.

“Yeah, yeah, promises, promises. Get home safe.” You wave him off as you walk into your stairway entry. Climbing the stairs in the dark. You reach the top to see your front door cracked open, a light coming from inside.

You’re sure you locked both doors before you left. You slowly step into the small studio, you’re facing the open bathroom door when you enter. No one was in there, unless they’re hiding behind your clear shower curtain. You step out from behind the door to see someone sitting in your chair, facing the window.

Without thinking you shout out, “What are you doing in my house?”. If you could slap yourself right now, you would. You constantly say the wrong thing, and here you were being slightly too nice to an intruder. They turn the chair around and every hair on your body stands.

“Yelena?” You say, terror showing in your eyes. She just sits there. “How do you know where I live? Why are you here? Did you break into my house?” You take a step back, not wanting to believe it.

“I had to, you gave me no other choice. Running away like that earlier.” She ignores your other questions. You scoff, “I wasn’t running away. It got late, besides I don’t really have to explain myself to you.” Your hand reaches in your pocket, grasping your phone.

You know you should’ve called the police as soon as you seen the door open. But you just can’t help yourself. Yelena noticed your hand gripping something. “I think you might have mistaken my kindness.” She says. A chill runs down the back of your spine, “What? This?” You take the golden chain from your wrist, and throw it to her lap.

She wraps it around her fingers, smiling. “You should feel lucky, I don’t take every girl to meet my mom.” She says, standing up and walking towards you. You take another step before your back hits the wall. You look to your right, the dark stairs were your only exit. Before you could react she was slamming the door on your foot.

You scream out in pain and try to pry the door off your foot. Yelena steps closer to you now that you’re trapped. “You’re a psycho!” You yell in her face. Kevin was right, the woman from the taxi is a murderer.

“Why do you make things so hard for yourself, huh?” She caresses your cheek and you push her hand away. “See?” She tuts.

She opens the door and you jerk your foot free. You lung toward your kitchenette. A knife block sat at the edge of your counter. Maybe if you had a knife she’d leave. Before you could take a step she trips you, grabbing your arm and twisting it behind your back. She leads you to your bed.

You don’t fight back in fear of her breaking your arm. You know you can’t scream. Kevin was the last one out down stairs. The carpet store next door was closed because the owners were on vacation. You’re forced to sit down on the edge of it. She doesn’t let go of your arm and stands in front of you. “What do you want?”.

Tears start to form in your eyes. Yelena juts out her bottom lip and runs her hand over your hair, “Don’t cry baby girl, I don’t want to hurt you.” She coos.

You roll your eyes “then what?” You can’t play along for much longer before you really try to escape. “Natasha says I’m not good with rejection.” She says, inspecting the threads on your shirt.

You feel something in your heart, like it broke a little bit for her, how could she possibly think you rejected her. “I would never reject you, look at you.” You say, pleading for this to end. It almost hurt your feelings being in her presence reminded you how Neanderthal you were compared to her.

“Then why did you leave?” She says, acting like she has all the answers. “You left to go sit in an empty Chinese restaurant.” She says, looking at her feet, now not feeling so confident, she thought she wasn’t as important as fortune cookies and low mein.

“Kevin closes up alone every night, what kind of friend would I be if I let him do that? There’s safety in numbers, that is all, I promise. I would’ve stayed if it wasn’t for that.” You explain yourself to her, just like you said you didn’t have to do.

You find yourself feeling guilty, like this was all a misunderstanding. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I was running away from you.” You look up into her eyes, “let’s just forget all this, okay?” You say, desperately needing her to remove the pressure from your arm.

“I don’t think I can do that. What’s stopping you from turning me in for breaking and entering? What’s stopping you from pressing charges?” She says, thinking over her options.

The words spill from your mouth before you have a chance to stop them “Why would I call the cops on my girlfriend? That’s not very nice.” You say, playing along with her psycho antics. You force a smile, even though your arm was on fire.

Yelena searches your eyes for sincerity, she must have found some, since she releases you arm and massages your shoulder. “Sorry about that.” She says, sitting beside you on the bed.

You nod, rubbing your nervous hands on your knees. “Girlfriend huh?” Yelena teases. You look over to her, wondering if she’s serious. “Break into my house and subdue me huh?”.

#yelena belova #yelena x reader #avengers fanfiction #avengers #mcu #black widow #yelena black widow #natasha and yelena #theif #melina vostokoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #alexei shostakov #red guardian #yelena x you #yelena x y/n #wlw #Yelena belova is a lesbian

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 3 months ago

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I need to insert my rsv pookies everywhere and since you can finish the main storyline with the spirit world and stuff pretty early in the game, in my mind farmer gets them to collaborate with the expanded adventurers and vice versa. I'm sure there would be ways to convince the heads of each organization, be it Belinda and Rae, Camilla and Magnus, or Marlon and Lance. Magnus has already worked with the ninjas in the past so it's not like they don't know of each other's presence. It could be done since they all want to defeat the evil forces threatening the balance, only maybe using different means. Farmer could act as a mediator, perhaps, and everyone could participate in different kinds of missions depending on what they are.

I know the two storylines will never intersect but a girl can dream 😭😭 In my mind they could be curious about each other and end up with some interesting fun group and even couple dynamics.

Imagine Jio stuck with Isaac on outpost duty. The vibes would be so rancid I just know it lmao. Those two grumpy idiots do NOT trust each other despite their bosses telling them to work together and collaborate. And Daia would love the Highlands, she'd sneak into the diamond cave and take samples for her geology studies, yes, but if she sneaks a couple of diamonds here and there to gift to her besties at Ridgeside... no one's going to stop her 😘✨️ I can also imagine Alesia shocked over the fact that one member of the cult is a trained assassin and a literal CHILD. When she sees her skills on the battlefield she's impressed but still can't help but worry.

Idk Mouse I'm going crazy lmao. Hades2 updated a couple days ago and I haven't even touched it because these idiots have me in a chokehold 😂

Yes, yes, yes! YES!

I've definitely written previously about the relationship between adventurers and mages with cult members, but it's mostly been either an unspoken truce/unwillingness to provoke conflict, or the two groups distrusting each other. As for the almost official co-operation, that's a cool idea, and has huge potential to be both serious fic and crack, hee hee~ 😁 Especially if Isaac and Jio are in the same place, you're so right.

Camilla and Belinda definitely had a past together, and I like to think of them as frenemies - different views on "best for the world" but both very strong, stubborn, and respectful of each other. Daia, with her interest in rocks and gems, would definitely be happy to travel with Lance and do some territory training (and teasing, heh). Alesia would begin to doubt that co-operating with the cult was a good idea, because... a child assassin... was beyond her comprehension. Though has a deep respect for Helen, even if she doesn't always agree with the Cult's methods. Jadu will run after a squeaky Kiwi in order to question the unusual Junimo (until shurikens fly in his direction, lol).

And then there's Jio and Isaac... Oh, that's a separate story. Constant arguments, reaching serious fights, when both sides need to separate these hotheads, complaints that each of them "coped with problems on their own, without outside help". Well, and then - my favorite part - there's the unforeseen circumstances that still made the noxious elf and the equally noxious adventurer work together, and they made a pretty good team. I even thought about starting some sort of romantic relationship, but I don't think it's going to go any further than a crack ship. Buuuuut, I said the same thing for Lance/Isaac... 👀

#thanks for the ask!#I definitely want to mention characters from the two mods in my stories #we'll see 👀#anyway thanks Lotus for this ask ☺️

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phoenixyfriend · 1 year ago

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@jewishdainix commented on this post:

The thing is, israel must be dismantaled because it is built on xenophobia, nationalism and subjeugation of palestinians. I agree with you on the worry of jewish safety, but that needs to be done by fostering and building communities of both nations of people, where both are welcome and safe, not by keeping an opressive colonialist state with no interest in equality or peace in power.

And Im saying this as a jew who lives in occupied palestine, btw. I know co-existing eont come out of nowhere, but it can be built.

(New post because the original is very long.)

Thank you for commenting! Most of the commentary I'm getting seems to be from people who are as removed from the conflict as I am.

I think a major factor in the discussion that stemmed from my initial response to the first "r u pro Palestine" question was that I was... well, very tired and not running on all cylinders, for one, but also in an intersection of Tumblr that sees a lot of half-baked political reblogs where people just... share things they either don't know ANYTHING about or don't realize how much is our isn't propaganda.

I am not immune to propaganda, especially the subtler kind, as evidenced by my having to adjust my understanding of the Yemen situation.

But the thing is that like... that intersection means I've seen a LOT of takes that are extreme (like Hamas and the Houthis being entirely right about Israel and how to handle it, or that even the children in Israel, by virtue of being Israeli, are guilty) as well as a lot of people who are supporting extreme solutions without really thinking things through?

Like, the majority of the people I see talking about Dismantling Israel seem to be in favor of doing so quickly and without regard to what happens to the people there, Because They're The Bad Guys, or because they just don't realize that this is the sort of thing that takes time and management to do safely.

Like... when I see so many people parroting things with an underlying tone of hate and malice towards even the civilians, it makes me concerned that any expression of support for a position like "dismantle Israel" will be taken as support by both "do so slowly and responsibly with an aim towards integration and safety for all" AND the "boot out all the jews" sides, because when the first question is only four words, I can't also answer in only four words, because political slogans are never JUST what they actually mean.

That said, the discussion over the past few days definitely has me sympathizing more with the Dismantle argument, but I do wonder about how it would be enforced, and by whom. Like, the Israeli government has made it pretty clear they have no interest in ceasefire, let alone a dismantling, so... does the UN get involved? NATO? Is the US sent in to undo Israel, the way they're trying to undo things like the Houthi government (as I've been told they're functionally the government of 70% of Yemen)? What gives us people of the world the right to choose interventionism in Israel but not Yemen or Iran?

Just cutting US aid from Israel opens the doors to Hamas and Houthi and associated groups "managing" the dismantling, which is the situation I expressed so much concern over in the previous post, so that's not an option. It looks like we do need the UN to be involved if that goal of Dismantling to build something new is possible, but that's interventionism, which is bad because it violates self-determination, except when it's not bad because there's mass murder happening, except when it's still bad even though the mass murder already happened, and...

IDK

It's so complicated and I WANT to believe there's a solution but the political philosophy and practical implications are kind of. A necessary consideration even when the ethics are clear cut.

#current events #Israel #phoenix talks #jewishdainix #death tw #antisemitism

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theproblemwithstardust · 8 months ago

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20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @just-here-with-my-thoughts!! Thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

13 (meshurkaan) and 88 (the_problem_with_stardust)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

111,654 under meshurkaan! I have no idea about the_problem_with_stardust since some of those fics were cowritten :D

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now Star Wars, but I’ve also written for star trek, the witcher, teen wolf, marvel… maybe some others?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Under meshurkaan:

sand in the hourglass codywan, 2224 words shovel in the dirt crosshunt, 1366 words any way to baffle death (Part 3: ESU), foxfives, 27786 words close out the sun (Part 5: ESU), foxfives, 12114 words (WIP) a flint and a fire (Part 1: ESU), rexfox, 31627 words

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I love responding to people's thoughts and reactions XD

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hehehehehe a flint and a fire :) It’s part of a series though, so it’ll get fixed soon!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably one bright morning? I wrote it the night before TBB series finale and I just wanted them all to be HAPPY

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ah yes the mortifying ordeal of having your buddies read the porn you wrote. Um I think most of the time it’s fun and a little silly?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t think I’ve written any crossovers?

11. (I kept your question XD) Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers?

Maybe only a call? It has some of my favorite moments in the ESU but it is also mainly worldbuilding so it might have only been fun for me XD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few! Mostly teen wolf stuff from WAY back in the day

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did some round-robin type fics, but I am not a good writing partner since I struggle a lot with schedules and deadlines

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I’m a chronic multishipper so it’s honestly the ship I am writing for at the moment (this morning it was RexFoxFives, this afternoon it is TechPhee)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I always plan to finish WIPs, no matter how old they are (stares at across the stars) but there is a codywan fic I started for the 2021 codywan big bang and didn’t finish. I still think about it ALL the time

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm one thing that I've worked on a lot is structuring plot. In long fics I like to include off-hand details that then become relevant later. And I do put a lot of thought into characterization so hopefully that comes through in my writing >.<

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings! I sat on trying to find my way home for three weeks before I added like twenty words to the end and just posted it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It depends. I used to do it a lot but now that I primarily use screenreaders to edit, I don’t love it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First published on Ao3? Star Wars (FinnPoe my beloved) But I was definitely writing little epilogues to each of the Chronicles of Narnia books at the age of 8

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ummm maybe take the old, make it new? Or intersecting foliations? All of endless space unfurled? It’s hard to pick ^^’

No pressure tags: @whiskygoldwings, @cacodaemonia, @wolveria,

@catbuir, @loverboy-havocboy, @kartaylirnaak, and anyone else who would like to play?

#my writing #tag game #cloneshipping

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sunset-a-story · 10 months ago

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WIP Questions Tag

Thanks to @ceph-the-ghost-writer for the tag! You can see their post here.

1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

I think my co-writer and I first came up with the core cast of Alex, Reeve, Hannah, and Gareth. It all spiraled out of the control from there.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?

3. Who are your favourite character(s) and why?

Gahhhh that's such a hard question!! I'll say Reeve because I'm a sucker for a character with a whole universe of shit going on underneath a controlled stoic surface. And while he fucks up sort of a lot, he's also clever as fuck and never stops trying to do the right thing.

4. What other pieces of media could share a fan base with your WIP?

This question is tougher than the first! I'll go with Witch Hunter Robin.

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing your WIP?

Managing the puzzle of it all! Sunset is several different storylines and locations and casts that cross and intersect and run into each other over the course of a decade or so--all in the process of the story threads eventually converging at the climax. That's A LOT of timing to keep straight and a lot of pieces to make sure nothing gets left behind.

6. Are there any animals in your story?

Oh, just a sweet little hamster named Baguette! (Plus Chicklet the chicken and a couple of slobbery dogs in later volumes and of course our shifter characters, like Darwin and Sunny, who can change into an animal form.)

7. How do your characters get around?

Any and all modern transport ways--plus teleportation when there's a teleporter (and anti-nausea meds) handy.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Working on filling in the gaps of Volume Three!

9. What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

I'd be really interested to hear what readers have to say about this because I really don't know! If I had to guess I'd say they came the superpowered people--but stayed for the Baguette Updates.

I'll no-pressure tag @kahvilahuhut @gracehosborn @pandoras-comment-box and @toribookworm22

#catching up on tags #very slowly #writeblr tag games #Spotify

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itsclydebitches · 2 years ago

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Has it ever been mentioned if Tai and Summer we actually romantically involved? Maybe it's just me but the scene where they talk didnt feel like a married couples and more like really good friends. It would be interesting if Tai isnt actually ruby's father and him and summer decided to just co-parent ruby and yang to give them a normal family life. I just feel icky that tai ran to summer as soon as raven left.

Obviously it's entirely personal what does or does not feel "icky" to you, though it if helps, I frequently remind myself that RWBY has nonexistent timelines. Like, by the writers own admission none of this has been thought out. So if you get into the nitty-gritty and start asking questions like, "How long was Raven gone before Tai became romantically involved with Summer?" yeah, you might run into some timing snags that impact our overall view of the relationships. However, that's not because the writers wanted to engage with that kind of complicated dynamic, but simply because they throw out plot-points and ages without ever thinking through with how those two things intersect. I feel similarly regarding the "Yang raised Ruby" fanon (which is fanon and I find it frustrating that much of Volume 9's sisterly interactions, like Yang standing in front of Blake, have been squeezed through this largely unsupported lens of, "Well, Yang is basically Ruby's second mom so that's why this moment is wholesome and not a super weird animation choice) which doesn't hold up upon scrutiny, at least not without a lot of assumptions. If you start thinking about when Raven left, when Summer left, Ruby and Yang's ages, when they were both born, the adventure into the woods, them starting their training young enough to get into Signal, who was supposedly around when, what's a literal fact and what's just someone's emotional interpretation of events... any simple timeline falls apart. There are simply too many contradictions and vague claims to map out a coherent, canonical timeline. We can assume and headcanon many options, but they remain just that: assumptions and headcanons.

BUT that means there's plenty of space for your interpretation, anon. For me personally, I don't think RWBY is ever going to reveal that Tai isn't Ruby's dad and I read the not-very-romantic-y interaction between him and Summer as simply indicative of RWBY's overall approach to romance. After all, Blake and Yang have been in love for several Volumes now, but up until the big kiss all they did was hold hands. However, what RWBY puts on screen is what they've put on screen, which means it's perfectly valid to watch something that looks fairly platonic and extrapolate from there. One of the things the RWBY fandom needs to get better about is allowing the prevalence of fanon to produce outright anger over other ideas. Fans harass others for arguing that it's unlikely Yang actually raised Ruby, or theorizing that Qrow might be Ruby's dad, or writing fics where Blake and Yang are in different relationships. There's such a focus on maintaining the One True Fanon that it obliterates the very purpose of fanworks. We're meant to be transforming the canon in ways that please us and, if we're up to sharing it, pleasing an audience of like-minded folks too. Why would you want to adhere to just one standard telling? That's boring. That's just canon 2.0. You might as well watch RWBY, watch one other version of it (like Ice Queendom) and call it a day if you're not willing to allow a wide variety of creative content to exist. You don't have to engage with it, no one says it has to be your personal cup of tea, but leave fans who want to play with the fictional dolls their way alone. The internet is a big place and the block button doesn't have a limit.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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hirocimacruiser · 1 year ago

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BASEL

■Inquiries/Real Co., Ltd. 0729-64-1527

Don't call it cheap chic

A piece with attractive high quality

Despite the simple rough mesh design

The hard feel of the disc and rim makes the wheel look bigger.

When setting wheels for dress-up purposes, you need to be careful about how you want the car to look as a whole. For example, if you want your car to have a gorgeous atmosphere, but you set wheels that give it a plain look, the podium bottom will lack the power and make it look bulky. Wheels are expensive items, so they are not replaced very often. If you don't think carefully and choose without compromise, you will regret it.

However, there are quite a few people who don't have an overall image in mind, but just want to change the wheels. ``I just bought a car, but I'd like to change the wheels.What kind of design would go well with any style of tailoring?'' It's quite difficult to answer this question, but if I had to make a recommendation, I would choose this one.

There's one reason. Because it has a clean mesh design. The nine-intersection rough mesh design, where the center package is independent and recessed from the face, looks sporty when you look at the oven hole, but the rim. The elegance can be seen from the slim Y-shaped spokes. The one-piece structure with no piercing bolts and reverse rim allow the disc surface to be made as large as possible, giving it an impact that rivals the thrust produced by the large sedan body. A wheel with such a simple yet versatile design should be able to accommodate any style of dress-up. It can be used not only for beginners in dress-up who have not yet lowered the vehicle height or even installed a muffler, but also for highly original finishes that take advantage of the user's taste, and are not bound by European or Lacy models. deep in my heart

That's what makes it so appealing.

This basel has another feature. This means that the degree of curvature of the discs for the front and rear discs is slightly different. The front face has an almost straight face, while the rear face has a slightly recessed center package. This slight difference becomes a big difference when you set up the Tsuraichi. In addition to gold, we also have silver, so you can match it with either of the Y32 / Y33 Granturismos.

Message from the manufacturer

This is a wheel that emphasizes sharpness and three-dimensionality.

The deep reverse rim on the inside of the outer rim and the sharp Y-shaped spokes set tightly against the rim face, making the most of the features of a one-piece wheel, create a three-dimensional image. This makes it appear larger than its actual size. It doesn't have the sharpness of a 3-piece wheel, but if you want a mature and neat look, we recommend silver, and if you want to look clean and have an impact, we recommend gold. Since the front face and rear disc are curved differently, there is a risk, but I think it will look better if you set it further outward than the recommended size.

#Basel wheels #Mesh wheels #VIP wheels #JDM wheels

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year ago

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It’s quite incredible how many people suddenly come out slamming Israel. They claim to want to support Palestine but it’s just the “woke” “socially acceptable way” of expressing the age old hatred of Jews. They claim that the Israelis are occupying and should leave but my question is where should they go? Nobody else wants them. Where do they find a home?

Remember when Antifa thugs were declaring people to be "Nazis" so they could punch them? The same people are either remarkably silent, or worse, actively defending or even encouraging, terrorist violence against Jews and Israel. Literally taking the side of the Nazis.

Don't forget, there are still people who think the 9/11 attacks were completely justified.

This Babylon Bee post is parody, of course, but the reason it works is that it's so realistic.

[ Link: The Babylon Bee ]

What we've also seen is the mask really drop from the "right side of history." People who gave the anodyne Motte defence of "decolonization" have really come out swinging with the violent Bailey.

They're actively saying "this is what we meant."

https://www.thefp.com/p/this-is-what-decolonization-looks

Meanwhile, the ersatz activists of Hollywood and Silicon Valley are eerily quiet. The people who turned the Ukrainian flag into their avatars, those who worry about misgendering and triggering and safe spaces, those who insist words are violence (those for whom violence is apparently not violence)—they’re busy ignoring all this. We should listen closely to these latter-day Bolsheviks and their many enablers. They are being honest. They are saying exactly what they believe and what they want to see happen.

As I've said time and time again: believe them when they tell you what they're up to. Stop moderating it because it sounds awful, and you assume they must really mean something less appalling. If you're genuinely unsure, press them to be specific.

There are two things you can take away from this horror.

It's never "just about" something benign. If it sounds awful, it is. The people saying this are either lying or ignorant. This is akin to apologetics over Islamic doctrine framed as "you're taking it out of context" or "translation problems"; if it sounds like it's advocating violence, it is. Once you talk to an Islamic scholar, they will unapologetically and unashamedly tell you that it's exactly what it means. Same thing.

The people who want to scold you for your lack of adherence to elite luxury beliefs - neo-pronouns, "privilege," accuse of you of being a "Nazi" for having completely mainstream, liberal values, say slogans like "words are violence," "wE'rE LiTeRaLLy dYiNg," call everything "harm" and "danger" - are hypocrites who endorse actual violence, actual antisemitism, actual genocide. You've been duped by manipulative language. You need never feel ashamed or guilty again.

Pay attention who screamed at you that you were a "racist" for thinking The Little Mermaid was pretty shit, overly long, didn't make any sense when they rewrote it with intersectional feminist themes, the actors expressionless, the CGI amateur... who are now studiously saying nothing about those calling for actual genocide. They've shown who they are, they're morally confused, and their righteousness card has been revoked.

If anyone hasn't already peaked by now, I legitimately don't know what else it will take.

As far as answers, I legit don't know. Both claim entitlement based on their ancient superstitions. Both claim to be justified by their gods. Islam is rampantly and inherently antisemitic, so I don't see much long-term ability to co-exist. It doesn't matter that Israel existed before Palestine, and Judaism before Islam, Palestine isn't going to give up, so I suspect Israel would have to. But then, Islam is never satisfied, as it's a supremacist ideology. You can't negotiate with it, you can't reason with it, and you can't capitulate to it or it will simply escalate its demands; if we've learned nothing else from the betrayal of Salman Rushdie, it's that. So Palestine conquering the area would just embolden other Islamic regimes, as well as terrorist organizations like ISIS and Boko Haram which claim the same entitlement.

EDIT: Or all-out war, I guess.

#ask #decolonization #ethnic cleansing #genocide #antisemitism #israel #palestine #religion is a mental illness

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yallemagne · 1 year ago

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Writer Asks

Tagged by @bluecatwriter

I think I've done this one before!! There's more questions this time, but this is an interesting blast to the past to see how I've changed.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

59 works

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

300,805 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, Dracula. In the past: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Jesus Christ Superstar, Sanders Sides, Castlevania, Elisabeth, etc.. If you fuse the fandoms that intersect it's about 18 fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Orice (Dracula, Jonathan has A Time; unsurprising, it is my longest by far)

When Providence Favours Witches (Castlevania [specifically Netflixvania], Trevor gets adopted by Lisa; also not surprising, very popular fandom)

Lückenbüßer (TF2, Trans Scout talks to Ally Medic; shocker!! that's a single-chapter fic!!)

Pseudo-Asthma (JJBA: Battle Tendency, Joseph has a heart-to-heart with his mom; woah! that was only 3 chapters!!)

Bewitching (JJBA: Phantom Blood, Dio genderbend; of course, I can never escape it even if it is a hiatus fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah, sometimes even if it is just to say "thank you!!" I like to talk about my writing a lot and comments are the place I get to go into detail about my thought process.

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

Vulture in Saviour's Robes, I had people yelling at me for this one (in a good way), so it's really no competition, huh.

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

It's gotta be one of the one-shots iojegp. To suggest a less well-known one: A Pitiable Performance, J&H and Dorian Gray crossover, Utterson and Lanyon go to see a play and Sibyl Vane is the lead actress.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not much. Oh wait--- oijegpioerg trauma engaged. Orice got a LOT of hate at some point, someone in the fandom really wanted me dead so they rallied a bunch of people against me. My crimes were: 1. writing a Jonathan POV story 2. supposedly writing Renfield to be a bad guy. None of it reached my comment section thankfully, but when I found out I was very paranoid that someone would dox me over fanfiction.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

For a period of time, I swear that was all I wrote iojgepri. My specialty is dom/sub with plenty of aftercare, though I've also written some dubious consent stuff. Silver Crystal Carousel (Dracula, John/athan dom/sub) is my most recent smutfic, it was so hard to get back into the dirty groove especially since I was writing in first person.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yeah, but not much. I get plenty of ideas for crossovers, but they're pretty difficult to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah. I'd say lost and you'd say love was translated into Russian and posted on ficbook.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Same answer as before: Only one (The Apostles), and it was mostly a self-imposed research project with my friend. They did the research, and I wrote the incorrect quotes and a short Jedas one-shot.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

How could I possibly choose. If you go by fic count it's Jesus/Judas ijopegij. I'd say... JonMina and JonEri. I really like writing already established relationships.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

So many. So many of them. There's some that are barely started!!! To name one y'all will be familiar with: the continuation of An Odd Doctor.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been praised for my characterization a lot recently!! Specifically with VH in Orice, I've gotten a lot of compliments on his characterization being complex. I'm really happy about that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything-- *gets shot* I don't know how to articulate!! Sometimes I get ideas and I try to write them, but it's all in pieces, and I don't know how to fix it into a fully-fledged narrative.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have gotten help with that in the past for Lückenbüßer. I don't do it often, it is difficult to pull off in a way that doesn't take the reader out of the story. I suggest a translation key in the notes. If you aren't familiar with the language and don't have a buddy who is, I'd say it's perfectly acceptable to write the dialogue in your native language and put it in italics.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

There is no way of knowing, truly. On ao3, Greek Mythology and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood. Why both? The Daffodil's Echo was written first but The Shocking Absence of Grief was posted first.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

How does one choose!? I'm very proud of what I've done with the Orice series. Of course, it's not done tho. I'm very proud of finishing Perfidy (Elisabeth and Rudolf crossover)!

Get your ass over here @fitzrove!! You too @company-and-co!!

#update #tag game #bluecatwriter

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mbti-notes · 2 years ago

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Anon wrote: INFJ. My question is about toxic workplace environments. Is there a reasonable way to deal with a boss who constantly reproaches, belittles and humiliates her employees; who constantly moves the goalposts, saying something one day and something else the next, then reprimanding us for essentially not being able to mind-read and figure out exactly what she wants each millisecond; who rarely gives feedback without turning it into a personal attack; who yells and throws blame at us when something doesn’t go the way she wants; who discourages autonomy and independence by requiring us to run every little decision through her and accuses us of attempting to ruin her business when we try to act independently (within reason)? And when she realizes she’s pushed someone too far, she switches her game entirely and plays nice for a while.

One colleague has broken down in tears twice after a particularly ruthless reproach and I’ve been wondering if there isn’t a limit to how much an employee can take. Is there a way to somehow detach from her mistreatment and scrape together what little positive there is to this situation (acquiring experience and finding something better in a few months), without letting it affect our self-esteem and mental health, or is it unreasonable to keep subjecting ourselves to this?

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1) The Allure of Anger and Blame

If you want to handle any kind of relationship well, the first step is to examine the facts of yourself and whether you're approaching the situation in a way that might be co-creating the problem or making the problem worse. I sympathize and agree that her behavior is problematic. However, if you allow her behavior to bring out the worst in you, how can you think, plan, and communicate to the best of your ability and handle the problem intelligently? Emotional intelligence and social intelligence intersect in that moment your feelings/emotions are at risk of spilling out onto others.

Is it safe to say that you're angry? Have you processed your anger? Or have you continually suppressed it to the point of rage or hate? Anger is an indication of brokenness, e.g., expectations were dashed, trust was damaged, or boundaries were violated. The reality is that you don't control the world and sometimes things break, so what do you do with that brokenness? Well, do you understand the difference between being informed versus being consumed by anger? The former leads you to rebuild whatever you can after destruction, while the latter perpetuates destruction.

What kind of person do you want to be: the one who behaves constructively or destructively? Your question indicates that you wish to handle the situation constructively and even help those who have been victimized. But unacknowledged and unexamined anger puts you at risk of letting loose your destructive tendencies and making impulsive decisions, especially if you are already prone to Ti loop and Se grip issues. Yeah, you could channel your inner bully and knock her down a few pegs, but would you feel at peace with yourself for it? Maybe she wasn't always like this. Maybe she just learned to justify her bullying behavior. Do you want to travel that same path?

Unresolved anger, hate, or rage contributes to a blaming mindset. Blaming people is usually a futile attempt to reclaim whatever you think they robbed from you, e.g., power, agency, safety, comfort, opportunity, etc. Blame produces dark thoughts and distorted beliefs about justice, responsibility, and punishment. Some people blame themselves and feel like crap, while some people blame others and feel like crap. Blame is always counterproductive because it ultimately destroys the possibility of relationship. After all, how can you work with someone when you're too disgusted to even look at them?

You have to ask yourself what's more important to you: your feelings of righteousness in condemning her, or having a functional professional relationship with her? You can't have both without feeling like you're being torn apart within. Relationship aside, you should want to have a good handle on your dark tendencies purely for the sake of your own psychological well-being. It's not good for you to be consumed by negativity. You have to make good choices about where to direct your attention and energy.

Remember that the people who offend you have something valuable to teach you. Anger can teach you to have better awareness of your emotional triggers, to know exactly where your boundaries lie, and it grants you opportunities to reflect on how to better protect yourself from harm (especially if you exhibit a pattern of being mistreated or exploited). What does your anger tell you about what you need, want, expect, and hope for out of the relationship? Make a list, then reflect on the best means, methods, and strategies for moving forward on those things.

Once you've processed your feelings and emotions, you are in a much better frame of mind to communicate to people, assertively and matter-of-factly: what you need/want, what your goals/hopes are, where your boundaries are, why the boundaries must be respected, what will happen when boundaries aren't respected, and how they can help you be your better self and co-create a better relationship.

Setting healthy boundaries means being able to clearly distinguish between what is your business and what is not your business. Take responsibility for what is yours; do NOT take responsibility for what is theirs. You get to choose how you approach situations; you don't get to choose how people respond. If you choose to take responsibility for what isn't yours, that's on you to rectify. The second you return her bad behavior with more bad behavior, you lose yourself, and you are at risk of getting entangled in a vicious cycle of violence. Purely for the sake of your own well-being, you have to be able to walk away from conflict with your integrity intact, knowing that you made your best effort to handle the situation constructively.

2) Whose definition of "reasonable"?

Basically, you're asking me how to reason with an unreasonable person. You can't, especially if you're so angry about them being unreasonable that you're not being reasonable anymore.

After you've tried reasoning with someone once, twice, three times, and they're unable to return with a reasonable response, it's safe to conclude that you're speaking two totally different languages. How are you going to get over that gap? In such a situation, you need an "interpreter", someone who can understand both languages and do some translation and bring the two parties closer together. You don't have to be that person because it's not your responsibility, but you could be that person if you genuinely wanted to help improve things.

When people appear to be unreasonable, there are usually a few possibilities to consider as to why:

Ignorance: For whatever reason, they lack knowledge and they don't know what they don't know. Being very ill-informed, they make unreasonable judgments and decisions.

Confusion: People easily get confused when they have poor critical reasoning skills and don't know how to assess objectively and analyze logically. This leads them to fall victim to bias, formulate faulty beliefs, draw incorrect conclusions, and miscalculate consequences.

Psychology: There are many psychological, mainly emotional, issues that can erode or undermine people's executive functioning, which leads them to make irrational judgments and decisions.

When you really understand how ignorance, confusion, and psychological issues operate in the mind, you'd be much less inclined to call anyone "unreasonable". It's more accurate to say that you haven't understood their reasoning process, probably because it's too different from yours.

For example: It's not unreasonable to believe the sky is blue when you are ignorant of the science that produces the blue effect. It's not unreasonable to be biased and believe the world is terrible and unsafe when you've repeatedly been the victim of discrimination or hate. It's not unreasonable to feel paranoid, suspicious, and easy to anger when your trust has been betrayed one too many times.

It's very difficult to know the best way to respond to people when you don't understand them at all, when you don't see how their negative behavior is actually a reasonable response, as determined from their perspective of reality. In other words, no matter what kind of relationship conflict you encounter, the best strategy for resolving it always begins with empathy. Do you understand her point-of-view? Do you understand how she thinks? Do you understand how she feels, where her feelings come from, and how her feelings inform her behavior? If you just write someone off as fundamentally bad because that's easier for you, then you've written yourself into a dead end.

Many people are under the misapprehension that empathy is about being "soft" or "weak". Yes, empathy requires you to feel what others feel, so in that sense, it makes you vulnerable to influence. However, empathy serves a larger purpose in helping you gather essential knowledge about feelings and emotions, how they motivate people, and how to mitigate their destructiveness. People who are only able to feel what others feel but just get overwhelmed rather than put the information to good use actually suffer from lack of boundaries, not an excess of empathy.

Imagine a therapist dealing with a client who is venting and raging and getting verbally abusive. How do you think the therapist should respond? Should they start shouting and cursing in retaliation? No, because that would only raise the emotional temperature and make the situation worse. The therapist remains calm and objective and tries to get to the bottom of the feelings/emotions in order to help the client understand them better.

You are not a therapist, so you shouldn't try to act like one. But you are capable of calm and objectivity when faced with people who are acting out their ignorance, confusion, and/or emotional issues. When you've set proper boundaries, you would know that their behavior is not really about you, so you wouldn't take it personally. Being calm, objective, and open to feeling what they are feeling without getting overwhelmed by it, you are in a better position to understand the feelings and emotions at play in the situation. Then, you can think of ways to address them reasonably rather than react back unreasonably. This is what it means to have good emotional intelligence in relationships.

You're not friends with her, so maybe you don't have the opportunity to learn about why she's this way. But, through empathy, even when you don't have all the sordid details about her past, you can at least still see her as human, suffering, and in need of compassion, just like everyone else. If she could control herself, she would, but she obviously can't. Wouldn't you hope for compassion in the event you lost control of yourself and acted out of fear or helplessness? Instead of taking her behavior at face value and getting all judgmental in labeling her your enemy, try to respond strategically to the feelings and emotions that motivate her negative behavior. In this way, you de-escalate, remove some of the heat, and actively create a healthier space for cooler heads to prevail.

You're not there for her mental problems. You're just there to do a job. It's not your company, so it's not your role to care about its future. You don't owe loyalty to someone who isn't loyal to you. Yes, looking for a better workplace is probably a good idea for your mental health. But until then, the best you can do is try to discuss work problems respectfully, empathetically, and tactfully. Keep things completely professional by focusing only on work issues, and stay out of her way otherwise. If she's unwilling or unable to change anything, set and maintain your personal boundaries through very assertive communication, and do what is minimally required of you for the job. If you have the desire and capability to help your colleagues, get their consent to speak on their behalf as you deem necessary.

#infj #infj relationships #anger #blame #judgmental #assertiveness #boundaries #empathy #social skills #emotional intelligence #workplace #career #ask

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