#i think in another life im just like. the friend who solely by the grace of god is still alive

[thestarminstrel]

goddamn i think the reason i keep having trouble sleeping is because i've been eating espresso beans. like handfuls of them. before bed.

[ktheist]

heartbreaker of mine

muses. jungkook x reader

synopsis. ah, here we are again. the overtold, cliche as hell story about two best friends who might or might not be in love with each other. except you can’t - wouldn’t dare to dream about being with jungkook.

alternatively, wherein you fell for the one who could break your heart.

words. 7.5k

universe. university / slice of life

warnings. mentions of physical insecurities; appearance, commitment issues

x

you should have known that in the absence of two of your best friends, nothing ever goes right when you decide to hang out. it isn’t the fact that you’ve known each other since diapers and basically know anything and everything about the other, that at some point you feel like your friendship is stale and need new additions - that’s where park jimin and kim taehyung comes in; a year older but several younger at heart, you couldn’t have imagined going through uni life with someone but them - but it’s the fact that realization hits you at the end of your final year that makes you drift apart. 

the fact of the matter is, you prefer the solitude of your room, the library of that one spot in the cafe that you’ve claimed as yours. and jeon jungkook prefers the blare of music, strobe lights and bodies grinding against him.

by your final year, as you receive a job offer at the company you interned in on your second year, taehyung is already working part time at the company he interned in, jimin thinking about that modeling offer he just got scouted for and jeon jungkook is getting daddies of the girls he’s having a thing with to get him to work at their office just so their daughter can see their favorite boy more - yours and jungkook’s friendship has dwindled down to mere silences as you wait for the other two to knock on the door and fill the place up with their endless bickering about whether dumplings are better than mochi.

 “shouldn’t you like, give me advice?” are the words jungkook said to you while you type away on your laptop, trying to do some light reading for tomorrow’s class before your mac gets confiscated for ‘pooping the party’ as taehyung likes to call it.

and you know what he’s talking about without even having preambles of the topic make its way into the conversation.

yet you still take off your glasses and set it down in your lap and ask, “what could jeon jungkook possibly have not known and needed advice on?”

he scrunches his nose, not appreciating your sarcasm but humors it anyway, “you know,” he shrugs, as though shrunk into the sofa from either shyness or embarrassment - you don’t know, “on like, how to start being serious about life - and settling down.”

the silence that stretches is a stale one, filled with your blank stare and jungkook’s peering eyes - even at the age of 22, the stars still glimmer like they’ve been freshly plucked from the skies.

“you want me to help pick, out of the many job offers you got from your girlfriends’ rich parents, for you to do?” is your conclusion - though if you were 2 years younger and had a little bit more faith for the boy you basically called your twin, it would have been a good natured jest. but you’re older and jungkook isn’t exactly portraying characteristics of an upstanding citizen either.

“no,” his hair brushes against his brows as he shakes his head almost too eagerly - as though he saw that coming but still got upset and wanted to prove you wrong, “like how to start taking things seriously like settling down with someone and no, not with out of my many girlfriends - can we not call them that? it makes me sound like an ass.”

it takes you less than five seconds to digest his words, eyes drifting to the white screen of your mac for the sole reason you can’t bear to hold his intense gaze while you conjure up a response, “well for one, you are but there’s honestly nothing i can tell you that you don’t know already and there’s nothing i can possibly say to make you want to change - it has to come from you. or like, a professional that could help and if you think you need one, i’ll be with you all step-“

the brief scoff is what puts a rest to your racing thoughts while the smile on his lips put your heart at ease, “i’m not addicted to sex.”

“oh, okay.” is all you say, not seeing where the conversation is going as you watch the boy scratch the back of his ear, lips pulled into a pout - one way you know he’s trying to strum words into existence. and when he does, confused is an understatement to describe what your face is portraying.

“okay,  i’m saying if and if you’re looking for a husband, no, scratch that, would you even introduce someone like me to your parents?” but that’s the thing, you’re not confused because you don’t know where this is going but you’re confused because you don’t pretend to be oblivious.

but you’re also not a master at the art of heart-to-hearts and the gargantuan elephant that it brings. so you settle with a, “uh, i don’t know, you already know my parents, don’t know how i can reverse that and reintroduce you-“

“that’s not the point,” he blinks, the sight almost endearing as he freezes in his spot for a split second in contemplation of how to approach the matter and explain it to you who seem like you’re way off, “the point is-“

“i get it.”  you nod, arms crossing over your chest as jungkook’s wide eyes peers into you like a mixture of relief anticipation.

“you do?”

“you’re worried if your future partner will be insecure about the bodies you’ve seen before them,” there’s a knock on the door just as you’ve finished speaking.

as you get up to get up to answer it, knowing already who’s there from the obnoxious chatters - more like argument - you’re not sure if your brain is playing tricks on you or if jungkook’s shoulder line really falls as well as his face.

but the, “uh, yeah, i guess,” is what makes you push the image of dimmed stars and downturned pink lips to the back of your mind as you unlock the door, welcoming the two halfway-into-a-deep-quarreling men and their two bags of take-away roasted chicken, chips, mashed potatoes and whatever else they thought necessary to fill the game night with.

“thanks, shortcake,” taehyung smiles at you after you take a plastic bags off his and jimin’s hands and proceed to place it on the coffee table.

“tae, you’re literally taller than everyone,” throwing him a side glance, you shrug as you begin taking out the packed chicken wings and placing it in front of jungkook while taehyung helps with unpacking the add-ons from another bag, “calling me short isn’t exactly an insult.”

“i’m just saying we should demolish mint chocolate chips all at once,” jimin plops down on the couch adjacent to jungkook, “and no, we can’t let these savages go eating them - we need to educate-“

somewhere in the middle of jimin’s colonial-esque speech, you turn to the boy who’s never said a word since the two came in. not that those too needed an additional converse partner with how taehyung is advocating for leaving mint chocolate chip eaters alone and jimin staying with his stance that these people haven’t had a taste of all flavors in the world yet.

the way he seems to look at something past your shoulders tells you enough - he’s still deep in his thoughts about settling down, or changing or whatever. you don’t know why exactly he wants to change his heartbreaker ways but- “there’s nothing wrong with two adults having a - or multiple - consensual sexual relationship prior to finding their significant other. and if they have a problem with that then that’s something they need to work on, not you so no, i don’t think you should change anything unless you want to.”

x

it’s some days later that taehyung brings up the remnant of the conversation he overheard before the four of you began arguing about what movie to watch and ended up putting the fate of humanity in rock paper scissors. and so you tell him, without ever thinking of the one thing that spurred his ridiculous thought and the hesitance of pouring it onto you.

“don’t look at me, i’m not snitching.” jimin’s round, disbelieved eyes stares back at taehyung as though surprised the latter would ever think he’d do such a thing.

“okay but someone’s gotta tell her.” taehyung lowly mumbles, upper body turned to jimin, gracing you with his beautiful side profile - whoever gets to date him will forever be the lucky one.

“guys, i’m literally right here.” the sound of your voice warrants a turn of heads and a wide-eyed stare as though they’re seeing your ghost rather than your physical form that entered and picked a spot together with them.

it takes a moment for the elephant to settle somewhere in the corner and crush you with its invisible weight before taehyung turns to you, hand behind his mouth as he fake coughs into it. then, another moment for you to register taehyung’s words as you watch his mouth move and his gaze trained on you like a father teaching his daughter a life-lesson before he lets her out into the world. once his mouth stops moving and a second passes for you to take in the information, only two words leave your lips.

“you trippin’,” with a half-manic smile and brows knitted together, you look almost like you’re made for the asylum- but understandably, your admittance is overdue.

as your heart palpitate inside the confines of your rib cages and the scene from that night replays at the back of your eyes like a broken record - jungkook’s hesitant glance, the windows to his soul shutting tight with hesitance and the teeth that traps his lower lips as though his body is forbidding him to say whatever his heart and mind wanted - as much as it pains you to admit it, the signs were all there.

you just didn’t want to admit it.

that’s what pining over a best friend you’ve known for over a decade does.

the denial that comes after realizing you don’t want anyone else to touch jungkook when im nayoung stood on her tippy toes and pecked jungkook’s lips before running off with a flustered expression - you were both in elementary and jungkook was more into sleepovers with the abundance of plushies you had than hanging with ‘other kids’.

then comes the ugly head of self-loathing and guilt as you fixed park jihyo a smile as jungkook introduced you two. one, as his girlfriend and the other, his best friend.

both, in love with him.

it’s ugly and disgusting, jealousy that is. but you’re uglier for smiling and laughing with jihyo over the things you would with a best friend who’s a girl - there were things you couldn’t share with jungkook as a girl. but you’d let your eyes linger a second too on them as they shared a peck when he’d meet you too in front of the school gate after his extra class was over - you lost count of the times you wished you were her.

you carried the pathetic little mask of a smile to uni. by then, jungkook had broken up with jihyo. there was a lot of tears and consoling and empty words of assurance.

“hey, if you guys are meant to be, you’ll meet again someway somehow.” you’d fixed her an encouraging smile as your heart bloomed with hope for when you’ll get jungkook’s attention all to yourself once you start uni.

getting into the same one had been pure luck.

it didn’t bring you far though. jungkook started gaining attention for his friendly nature and bunny smile that attracted both males and females. it wasn’t long until he’s bringing you to parties where he’d keep you by his side because he knew you didn’t know most of these people. tried to get you involved in the conversation but there was nothing interesting about the dude who drank himself silly and woke up in front of an old lady’s door butt naked or about that girl who woke up a five minutes before class in a city an hour away from where her dorm is.

well, at least, none of them seemed like jungkook’s type. he never had a girlfriend throughout his years in uni though he had plenty of other experiences that makes you wonder what in the world he hasn’t tried yet.

being in a relationship, is probably the only thing he hasn’t done.

jungkook liked kind people. ones that didn’t point at a random person and say an offhanded comment and collectively laugh about it. someone that laughs and smiles a lot because and didn’t have a single bad bone in their body.

liked.

because you don’t know what kind of person jungkook likes now. but you never thought him asking a hypothetical question from what seems like another person's perspective about his lifestyle would be, as taehyung calls it-

“i’m telling you,” he slams a hand on the table, a loud pap! resonating in the air but he doesn’t seem bothered by the pain - if there is any - as his eyes bore into you, “that was jungkook shooting his shot!”

“i don’t know,” you take a sip from the metal straw of your matte black tumbler for the sake of doing something, “it doesn’t feel real but i can kind of see it?”

“take it for what it is, love,” the pull of his eyebrows together couldn’t have been more frustrating, “jungkook has every reason to have the fattest crush on you - i mean look at you, you’re funny, adorable and nicer than all his friends combined.”

jungkook has multiple friend groups he hangs out with. funny how you started out as duos and merged into a quadruplet and ended up being that friend group that jeon jungkook doesn’t really look like he fits in but he’s probably hanging out with you guys from time to time because you’d known each other the longest. or so word has it.

“that’s basically everyone who’s not his friends.” with an eye roll, you wrap your mouth around the straw. this time, for the sake of hiding the smile that threatens to bloom on your face as it is in your heart.

x

and that’s how you find yourself in more than one ‘don’t you dare’ moments. jimin has begun randomly pointing out something about your hair accessory to your clothes to your fucking strawberry printed socks. 

to prove a point, he said.

“hey beautiful,” oh, and he’s resorted to calling you all the adjectives in the world - but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work in making jungkook’s face scrunch in displeasure for the briefest moment as he glances at jimin as though he’s an adjective away from beating the man into a bloody pulp, “nice shirt.”

despite knowing the comment is every bit staged - and probably doesn’t mean that your minnie and mickey mouse shirt is anywhere compliment-worthy, you still look down at the two mice, one kissing the other on the cheek.

the “uh, thanks,” couldn’t have been more dubious and skeptic.

and so begins jimin’s not-so-secret mission to bring jungkook’s attention to you.

“isn’t the stickers on ___’s mac cute, jungkook?” 

jungkook skims at the grizzly, panda and ice bears scattered across your mac before breaking into a smug smirk, “of course they are, i bought them for ___.”

you can almost hear jimin and taehyung high-fiving on the row behind you just as the professor walks in.

while jungkook seems to oblivious to it all, eyes trained to the display on the on the front, you allow yourself to indulge in the heat that seeps through your pores and warms your heart.

it’s not like jungkook stopped going to parties.

but finals season is almost upon you and he’s been hanging out with you more. sitting next to you in class while jimin and taehyung dozes off at the back. 

“they sleep in class just to spend hours on end studying at the library,” jungkook huffs, eyebrows knitting together adorably as he stresses over your two friends’ stamina for sitting in one place for six hours straight and only needing a bottle of water at their disposal, “i mean, why can’t they just focus in class so they don’t have to study a whole semester’s worth of syllabus in the last minute and drag us into it?”

the six hour mark ended and they’re out getting some snacks for you to secretly munch on until the library closes.

“i mean,” you begin, eyebrows jolting upwards at the more-than-obvious fact he’s supposed to already know, “you technically came here with your own free will, you’re free to leave whenever you want.”

another sigh hits the air as the boy slams his onto the book he has open in front of him, “yeah, but i need to study to pass and i needed you guys to push me,” he laments.

ever since then, there’d been far too many moments of where you’re stuck with jungkook to wait for the two non-time-abiding asses. at first, excuses like ‘sorry we’re late, we were getting mcdonald’s’ or some other poor fast food restaurants’ name that became the patsy, but they started dwindling to ‘oh hey, sorry, we didn’t notice the time’ and eventually a ‘hey, jimin’s got a meeting with a professor and he’s my ride so you guys go first’.

and before you know it, finals pass and you’re visiting your hometown while jungkook stuck around for a part-time job with taehyung whilst jimin drops off the face of the earth after having mentioned that he’s going on a family vacation at some private island with apparently the worst wifi connection ‘like ever.’

the two now-co-workers keep spamming the group chat with pictures of them in their uniforms, holding different drinks which they personally every time. when you’re staying over with your grandmother, it’s your turn to spam pictures of her great black cat who seem to only like sitting in her lap and glaring at you in every picture you take of the two watching tv together. almost as if he had a sixth sense when it comes to cameras.

“when are you coming back?” jungkook grumbles from the other end of line.

you’ve just got a shower and he’s just got home from a night shift. he’s probably haven’t even taken off his jacket yet when he proposed calling you like the sporadic times you both did throughout the break.

“i don’t know. i don’t feel like going back maybe even until the ceremony,” you confess, half-meaning it. the gardening, and saying hello’s to everyone you see while buying groceries because everyone knows everyone here, and the best-tasting cookies your grandma make, and waking up to her cat suffocating you in your sleep, isn’t so bad.

“i’m dying here,” he sighs, sounding more relaxed and probably lying on his bed now, “if i have to insist that i can’t ‘reheat’ coffee and can only make a new one and end up having to hide in the kitchen for five seconds to pretend like there’s a secret microwave only for coffees,” he says all in one breath before letting a suspenseful silence hang in the air and then finally revealing the next big thing he’ll do, “i’m seriously going to spit in their coffee while in the kitchen pretending to reheat it with an invisible microwave.”

the laughter that tumbles out of your mouth is probably ugly and you probably snorted a couple times but jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. or care as he keeps insisting ‘i’m really gonna do it’ whilst you end up laughing until your stomach hurts and tears begin to prick your eyes.

“is this the same regular that like, wants their coffee like super hot?” you finally manage to ask, traces of laughter still threatening to spill from your lips.

“yeah,” his sounds impressed, “how’d you know?”

“tae told me,” you make an incredulous face and shrug even though he can’t see, “you do realize you work at the same place, right?”

“yeah but i never see him talk about it in the group but i probably missed it-”

“oh no,” your hand goes up in a dismissive wave, “we talk on the phone and he told me about it.”

“you guys talk on the phone too?” there’s a strain in his voice, possibly out of surprise.

“yeah, like every day.” you say, tongue subconsciously lapping over your bottom lip.

“oh,” is all he says for the longest moment before chirping out the billion dollar question, “why aren’t we talking every day?”

“i don’t know,” your shoulder line rises, almost swallowing your neck as a war breaks out within yourself, “we did try at the beginning of break but you always had a party to go to so...”

“oh,” this ‘oh’ is a little bit dejected and perhaps hits a little different before he continues, “i don’t go to those anymore.”

this time, it’s your jaw that falls. your voice is small, almost as though cautiously teetering on tightrope as you ask, “...why not?”

“i just didn’t see the point of going anymore you know? once we graduate, i won’t even talk to these people anymore - but i wanna continue being friends with you guys.”

the ‘you guys’ meaning you, taehyung and jimin. the bros. the homies. it’s no secret that he probably sees you all as the same gender, not a guy nor a girl but just friends.

well. it’s not the first time jungkook’s friendzoned you.

“that’s great,” you can’t help but nod even though you know he can’t see you, “i wanna keep being friends with you too, jungkook.”

ever since then, you talk almost everyday. sometimes in three’s and when taehyung had a shift and jungkook got off his, it’d just be the two of you. and for the first time, in ages, it feels as though the ‘best’ in your friendship has somewhat reintroduced itself once more. jimin somewhat manages to get a connection somewhere along the way and the first thing he did was complain about the three digit number in a red bubble in the corner of the message app and then managing to get one picture of him in flowery trunks, and a baby monkey eating a banana perched on his shoulder with the beach in the background before disappearing for the rest of the month until two weeks before the graduation ceremony.

“so like, do you have anyone to pick you up?” jungkook asks from he other end of the line. he sounds more free since it’s the last day of his job.

“yeah,” you announce, attentiveness laced in your tone for your next words might be indicative enough, “my sister.”

“what.” he drags out the word in a disbelieving tone and it’s no secret why he’s doing that- “i haven’t seen you in ages! and you’re going to your sister’s? wait - this isn’t like a permanent thing right? we’ll get to hang out before the ceremony, right?”

it takes you a moment to register the series of questions he bombarded you with and before you know it, the silence has already turned your voice into a small and guilt-ridden, “um, yes and no?”

a groan.

“i haven’t seen seulgi in forever too and she kept nagging me to visit her during break but i never did so now she has like a whole week’s worth of itinerary planned out for us to do before the ceremony,” the excuse trickles out of your mouth hurriedly, “jungkook, i have to do this, or the next time we’ll meet it’s at my funeral and you’ll be talking to my dead carcass before they bury me.”

it takes a moment of anticipating silence before he grumbles out a “fine. but after that, you’re staying over at my place.”

“okay but i mean if we’re having stay over’s wouldn’t tae’s place be better since he has a whole ass apartment for himself?” you’re at that point where you’re discussing stay over arrangements before actually consulting the owner of the place.

“i guess,” his voice is a little lower and smaller but it revives at the mention of the new pizza place that just opened before you decided to invite the other two in the call to make plans to visit there.

when the day finally comes for you to don the royal blue robe and cap, you do so with barely enough grace and composure for someone who’s about to receive her blood sweat and tears on a stage all because you and your sister are - this must be karma for shading taehyung and jimin for being - a bunch of non-time-abiding asses.

the double doors are almost closed as you struggle with not tripping on your high heels whilst trying to keep your hair out of your face.

“where have you been?” you almost didn’t recognize the golden man who tapped you on your shoulder from behind.

“jimin! you made it!” is the first thing you say.

“rich coming from someone who barely got to her seat in time,” he gives you a once over and you’re not quite sure what he sees because your back which he’ll be looking most at is clad is oversized blue robe. but despite that, you reach out to give his hand a squeeze and he takes it with just as a tight, ‘we made it’ kind of squeeze before you turn to the chancellor that’s beginning his speech.

you’re not sure which row jungkook is at or if he even sees you and you read taehyung’s ‘i feel like a proud momma’ text because his major adds another year to his studies than you, jimin and jungkook.

the ceremony goes on without a hitch and you’d like to believe your picture is as perfect as your make up which your sister claims to be ‘out of this world!’ - only because it’s her that did it.

“so you guys talk everyday?” jimin pulls you into him, a smile gracing his beautifully tanned skin as he steals a glance at something behind your shoulders - possibly jungkook whom you saw was being swarmed by his friends to take pictures with.

“yeah, i guess,” you casually say with a shrug.

“it’s true, i was there,” taehyung comes up next to you, replacing jimin’s arms with his in a side hug.

“man, i really wish i witness it all,” jimin grumbles, “but the connection on that island was shitty.”

“i’m sure you connected in different ways,” the taller man adds, a strain in his voice which the shorter doesn’t seem to notice as he try to wave off the belatedly relayed fact that his family is a different kind of family.

like the kind that invites sex workers and other business colleagues alike to enjoy themselves for as long as they wanted, as long as the park family was there.

“okay but how long is he going to take?” jimin quizzes, eyebrows soaring whilst you and taehyung follow his gaze to the growing size of people a few feet away who clearly look like they’re here for a photoshoot than a simple graduation ceremony, “my parents kinda skipped work to see me go on stage and get a piece of paper they paid a lot for so i kinda want to get the family pic done before i go to my second family...”

time doesn’t seem to stop like they do in the movies. it happens all too fast, in fact - jimin’s voice fading into the background, the countdown of the person taking the picture of the group of graduates jungkook’s in starting from three, two, one! and a girl with the prettiest curls that seem to bounce as she turns around and stick her tongue into jungkook’s mouth.

it must have been your uncanny silence that draws the attention of the two boys and a ‘oh shit...’ from one of them - you’re not sure who even though taehyung and jimin has two distinctly sounding voice.

all you’re sure of is the involuntary movements of your feet as they carry you away from the scene. your eyes are dry but that’s probably only because your brain hasn’t registered what exactly happened though deep down, you’re perfectly aware of the fact that those daily calls, the spams of good mornings and randomly sending each other selfies were nothing more than exchanges between two people who were onlu ever connected through a childhood bond that got translated into best friendship just because there was no other name for knowing someone for so long even though you probably stopped being friends first year of college.

“___! wait!” someone calls for you and you wish it so badly to be jungkook but you know better than to expect for the impossible. a modern day fairy tale.

“hey, don’t cry. jungkook’s a fucking dick,” the tall stature that finally caught up to you and trapped you in his arms, whispers. gentle, understanding and pitiful.

it’s not just the comforting warmth, it’s also the hand that’s rubbing your back that you know is probably jimin’s that makes you break out into your first sob. whilst the day isn’t exactly free of tears, those who did shed them did it out of gratitude and a sort of ‘i did it’ kind of relief but not you.

today, your cheeks are marred by the excruciating pain of a heartbreak. you might as well tear your chest open, take out the beating organ and hand it over to jungkook so he could crush them with his own two hands.

maybe it’d hurt less.

somewhere amidst your fit, you choke on your laughter as you catch the two bickering.

“that’s not how you comfort a crying lady, taehyung, what the fuck?” jimin doesn’t hold back with his colorful words.

“what? what did i do?” the taller man sounds all the more confused but still pass you on to the shorter one like a gift basket when a hand pulls you into another pair of arms.

a hand patting your head as jimin murmurs, “there, there, you’re going to be okay, sweetie,” he hugs you just a tad bit tighter as though to say i promise, “you’re young, you’re beautiful and you just graduated with honors. in five years you won’t even remember your little crush for jungcockhead.”

you would have laughed if not for the shadow in your periphery stopping dead in its trek just a few feet away from you and close enough to hear every word jimin uttered in his attempt to placate your rising desire to flee the scene.

“what?” even a simple syllable is enough to tell you who the voice belongs to. perhaps it’s because you’ve heard it in real life and on the phone countless times and countless more during the span where he worked sporadic shifts and you were gardening and getting scratched by your grandmother’s cat that you tried relentlessly to befriend.

“nothing, jungkook.” you wish it was you who said it but it’s jimin who’s hugging you tighter like a mother comforting their heartbroken child, “why don’t you go back to your girlfriend and stick your face where it’s actually wanted?”

almost as though physically slapped in the face.

with a brick.

jungkook’s shoulder line jolts as he flinches, brows knitting together as you can almost see the rewind of the moment your heart gets split in two. she has the prettiest, softest tanned complexion, luscious curls and body that fits the definition of a glowed-up.

he takes one step forward but stops when you shrink into jimin’s arms, almost as though seeking protection. but it takes everything in you not to run to him and make up an excuse about feeling hot and stuffy and that being the reason you left, when the crestfallen expression mars his otherwise ever-smiling features. 

“that wasn’t what you thought it was-” you could almost swear he chokes at the end of his words but the pause is too short to tell, “i left her as soon as i saw you running off.”

“oh my god, cut the bullshit! this isn’t the first time and this won’t be the last. don’t talk to ___, don’t even look at her, douchebag,” the rumble of jimin’s voice vibrates against you as he pokes taehyung in the rib, making the boy cry out in pain.

the assaulted man has half a mind to ask for further instructions when he turns to you and jimin but decides against it, squaring up his shoulders and placing a warning hand, “just leave, man. ___ clearly doesn’t wanna talk to you right now.”

“ever.” jimin half-shouts.

those deep brown eyes search for yours as though holding on the last strand of what you call best friendship - hoping, wishing that it isn’t true. but as soon as they find your puffy eyes, you throw your gaze to the ground, finding the crack in the asphalt in a better state than your heart.

you can only imagine jungkook’s face falling at your refusal to affirm the strength of years’ worth of friendship. because the fact of the matter is, you’re not so sure if you want to keep pretending to be oblivious as he wraps his arms around another person and kiss them like he means it.

x

“___,” the bed dips as you feel the weight of the blanket get yanked off you. seulgi’s sweet peaches perfume filling your senses, “get up, it’s been days since you had an actual meal.”

“i’m not hungry,” you grumble against the pillow just as your stomach starts making the most monstrous sound ever existed in history of mankind.

“yeah right,” she scoffs but her hand on your arm is warm and soothing, “come on, please eat something - i’m saying ‘please’ here and you know i never say ‘please’. people say ‘please’ to me.” 

you can’t help but laugh at that. seulgi’s never truly begged anyone for anything in her entire life. she would have asked once and left you be until you were done moping around over jungkook getting with jihyo. it was after you did get over your first heartbreak, did she get you ice cream and you’d spent the night in her room with fairy lights and forts, watching the notebook.

“don’t let a boy hurt you like that again, ___, promise me.” she held up a pinky, and yours felt like a ton of weight just dropped over you.

in the end, you hooked your pink with hers and made a promise of sisterhood.

but she hadn’t been there when you needed your off days in college when rumors started spreading about jungkook and a different girl every week.

the wounds to your ever bleeding heart don’t heal. but you got used to picking yourself up and you got better at that with that one class you failed, that one presentation you blew, the humiliating mistake you made in front of your supervisor and every time after that. seulgi had her own ways to deal with problems and you had yours - or maybe patching yourself up after a fuck up was more of your forte.

who knows?

“what’s for dinner?”

“really?” at your inquiry, the face you thought would light up like a christmas tree - doesn’t. if anything, she bites her bottom lip just like you just caught her red-handed for doing something you probably won’t like.

“what?” you ask plainly, at this point, you won’t even be surprised if she said the sky is falling.

it’s not.

but her next words are far more foreboding than the end of the world, “look, jungkook came over like he always did everyday since that day and today i wanted him to stop coming for good so i told him if you at least have the energy to get some food, i’d let him see you,” her eyes glimmer with a sort of remorse that you can’t even hold her against.

“then can’t you tell him i still don’t wanna eat?” is what you say, completely unperturbed or rather not registering the fact that your best friend whom you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember is in your sister’s living room because he probably heard about your hunger strike. 

but the only problem is, he’s not in the living room-

“he’s right outside the room. i told him he can stand there and see for himself how bad he fucked you over so he’ll feel bad enough to leave you alone.” she says in a hurried whisper, eyes glancing to the half-agape door every second.

a spark lights up inside you, like smolders blown by wind and flares into flames, “seriously? you couldn’t talk to me first about it?”

her eyebrows furrow as her mouth opens and closes for a moment before she confesses, “...i didn’t think you’d say yes to lunch.”

“whatever just-” you tear your gaze away from your sister’s involuntary puppy eyes just so you wouldn’t end up clawing them out yourself, “...just go, seulgi.”

for the longest yet briefest moment, the only thing you can hear in the room is your steady breathing. the flame still burns but it doesn’t flare into a raging fireball. and you know full well it probably isn’t easy for jungkook to pass to through the door after having heard how you reacted when you found out he’s just outside.

when he does, he doesn’t even hide the way his doe eyes shine with something you can’t pinpoint as he takes you in. all of you. with your mused, oily hair and three day’s worth of hoodie and puffed eyes.

“hey,” he murmurs ever so softly, the bed dipping where seulgi sat.

you echo the same greeting back but with a hoarser voice compared to his velvet one.

“so, what do you want for dinner?” he begins, cautious eyes finding yours.

“i don’t want it anymore,” is all you say as you shrug casually.

“oh.” he sounds fragile. nothing at all like the self-assured jeon jungkook you’ve come to know.

silence fills the room like a big, blue elephant. seconds stretch on into minutes and you find yourself leaning against the headboard, drawing invisible patterns over the sheets while jungkook-

you don’t know what he’s doing. he could be fiddling with his fingers like how 10-year-old him would whenever you met at your favorite spot after a fight. but you’re both no where near 10 and if there’s any traces of the boy you once called your best friend, it’s probably only his appearance that’s never really changed.

either way, you don’t dare to even steal a glance his way.

“i like you too.”

the words hit the air like a drop of water that vaporized faster than what science dictates it too. you almost thought you were hearing things if not for the way he looks at you. as though waiting for something. anything.

“i...” you trail off before shaking your head, almost as though coming to your senses, “i can’t do this.”

jungkook laughs awkwardly, hand scratching the back of his head, “yeah, i understand - i’m sorry i- i just wanted to make sure you’re fine and then i got carried away- i should leave.”

but before he takes a step towards the door, you call for him, “jungkook, wait.”

“i’m leaving for japan in two days,” you finally let the cat out of the bag.

“what?” comes out a second later - you don’t dare to look up from your hands to see what kind of emotion he’s making.

but he at least deserves an explanation, “for the longest time, i feel fucked up because i get so jealous of the girls that dated you...” taking a deep breath, you continue, “but i know it’s because i think i’m not enough-”

“you are - you’re more than enough,” the interjection is what makes you look up involuntarily, if not to confirm it yourself - the knitted eyebrows and heartbroken gaze proves it and then the sinking realization settles in, “but you don’t believe me.”

you shake your head, a bitter smile on your lips, “i’m not enough for me and that’s something i have to work with.”

“by running away?” his voice rises to the ceiling, confusion and frustration pooling in his eyes.

“by finding myself,” you correct, “you know like how people go to a different country and come back a different person except i’m hoping to find that person.”

“in japan,” he sounds like he’s a word away from hooking you up with a specialist - not that you haven’t thought of one but-

you laugh and he looks at you like he’s stuck in the middle of a never ending maze, “my mom’s planning to visit my aunt in japan and since i’m officially unemployed i guess, i’m tagging along.”

“oh,” his shoulder line sags as he sighs in relief, “so like a vacation.”

it tenses back up when you say, “i might look for a job there.”

“you’re permanently moving to japan?” jungkook’s body seems to be here but his conscience seems to have flown out - probably to japan.

you want to laugh but it doesn’t seem like a proper setting for it. especially when you’re confessing to your crush that you like him but also subtly admitting that he’s partly the reason you’re leaving the life you know for a new one. and you might not even do it willingly.

“i might find a job with a branch company in korea - work there for a year and then transfer here,” you shrug, “i don’t know.”

“i-is this because-” he starts but you shake your head.

“yes and no?” you say, “none of this is your fault but i’m projecting my frustrations onto you and this isn’t healthy... i need- i need to go away for awhile and figure myself out.”

and that’s how jeon jungkook finally comes to the realization that nothing’s been the same. you haven’t been the best friend you prided yourself to be for a long time and that best friend completely disappeared in second year of college after he started spending nights at parties and only lunches with you. until eventually, you’re stuck in a habit - a cycle that you can’t break from until something dramatic or life changing happens.

and so it goes, he sees you off at the airport with taehyung and jimin. unsure of whether they were still friends after they’d deliberately stopped him from running after you on your graduation day, they were the first to approach him. they understood that it’d only be worse if he chased after you but they didn’t hate him - dislike him at times when - as they called it - he was so damn clueless, yes but they didn’t hate him. and that was a relief.

nothing major changed. he moved in with taehyung and jimin and even got a job at the same company as jimin. you went off radar but still kept in contact every once in awhile - it was like that time jimin went to that private island except you had all the reception you needed, just not the time to text as much as you used to.

job hunting was tough and he understood the competition. when you got a job, you were plagued with a newbie’s role, having to do overtimes to finish up work that was piling before they gave you that position.

then one year turned to two and two years turned to three. jungkook became a manager while jimin took up the position as a secretary in their rival company - it’s funny because everyone at the office would shit-talk him and they would make fun of those people as they drink into the night.

jungkook lost contact with most of his party friends - they were great with hooking him up with a potential client but besides that, he was basically living the workaholic life with his two apartment mates as his only source of social interaction outside of work.

from meetings to gatherings to meetings and then private dinners with clients. the cycle goes on until that one evening where arrives at an invites-only event.

“jungkook, come here,” the director gestures him over and because there’s a server blocking his view, he only notices the girl standing in front of his superior, when he’s finally by his side.

“...a hardworker - every project he’s ever handled hits the internet like a boom!” the director was saying.

“ah jungkook,” the man taps him on his shoulder but he can barely feel it when his eyes are trained on you, stunning in that deep toned dress and new hairstyle, “meet ___, you guys will be working on the twin tower project together.”

x

“so you’re back for good?” he asks when you’re finally alone, lingering at the balcony and away from your superior’s eyes.

“not quite - i still have to fly to japan every week,” you shrug casually.

“oh,” he nods.

“you look great by the way,” he adds a moment later, scuffing his foot against the floor.

you can’t help but giggle at how boyish he is, even at the age of 25, he still acts like a child, “thanks - you don’t look half bad yourself.”

he echoes a “thanks” as well before throwing his gaze over the magnificient view of the cityscape. artificial lights from the buildings appear like stagnant fireflies. it’s sad that they’re the reason you can’t see stars anymore.

but fate is too cruel.

because hoseok, your partner is calling you over - a couple of middle aged people standing next to him, smiling that mechanical smile that isn’t any different from your business smile.

“i gotta go,” you sigh but shoot him one last melancholy smile, “i’ll see you this monday?”

“yeah, see you this monday.” jungkook smiles a smile that says he’s not so sure where you stand. colleagues. ex-best friends. acquaintances?

with a wave goodbye, he watches as you strut to the couple, transforming into a woman so sure of every gesture, even a smile and a throw of your head back as you laugh. everything you do, every movement you make is mesmerizing. 

and he knows he’s not the only one who thinks so as he watches your partner gaze at you with eyes that doesn’t seem to see anyone else but you. laughs at something you say as if he’s completely enchanted.

jungkook turns around, hand propped on the railing as he takes a sip of the wine he’s been holding. without realizing it, a smile slips onto his face, he makes a mental note to check your company’s dating policy.

most forbid office romances anyway.

x

note. i’ve had this in the draft for forever! and thought i was never gonna finish this but i somehow got a burst of inspiration yesterday and here we are! hope yall enjoyed!

[fallout4reactsblog]

im still mad about piper betraying sole. honestly that reaction you wrote is gonna haunt me for years. i kinda hope it haunts her too >:) would you be willing to write about something like that? maybe she tries to find sole to apologize but nick just decks her or something?

“You sure you’ll be alright out here, kid?”

“Yeah, Nick, I’ll be fine.” They hand the list over to him with their bag of caps. “Just don’t bother with Myrna, okay? You don’t have to go through that for a couple of stimpaks. Tell Arturo I sent you so you can get a discount, and make sure Simon doesn’t rip you off for the Jet.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo.” He chuckles, but he watches them carefully. “You know, we don’t have to even trade here. We could cut our losses and split.”

They shake their head. “I’ve bought everybody else out of ammo. Arturo’s all that’s left, and if we’re gonna make a stop here, we might as well do it right.”

He looks over the list and tries to pretend that this is fine. It isn’t, of course- why is he allowed inside where they aren’t?- but he can put on a brave face for them. If he makes a stop by the mayor’s office while he’s here, though, maybe sole wouldn’t mind...

The gate clangs, drawing his attention, and he looks up to meet the eyes of someone he used to trust. She takes a step back when she realizes who she’s suddenly face-to-face with. He feels the anger rising in him again, red-hot and intense enough to make his hands tremble. He’d hoped that it would fade with time, but it seems not. It’s the same rage as the day he heard the news, if not stronger.

“Blue!” she sputters. “I- There you are! I tried to go looking for you, but no one knew where you were. I wanted to tell you that I’m-”

The list crumples in his hand, and he hits her.

Not lightly, either, nor with any friendliness. A sharp edge on his metal hand cuts a bright red line across her cheek, and she staggers back, fingers already pressing to the wound and coming away with blood. He hisses a breath between his teeth and resists the urge to deck her again.

“Nick!” Sole grabs his sleeve to pull him away, but he is well past the point of no return.

“Get out of here, Piper,” he spits. “We don’t want your half-baked apologies and excuses. You’re not going to charm your way out of this one.”

She blinks, tears welling in her eyes. “Nick, I-”

“Spare me the sob story. You’re no victim. Scram, before I decide once isn’t enough.”

She opens her mouth as if to protest but seems to think better of it because she pulls her hat down over her eyes and rushes past them in a blur of red leather. He takes a deep breath, then another, trying to calm the whirlwind that’s racing through him. Nearby, two Diamond City Security guards are having a hushed conversation, and he hears his name pass between them.

“What was that Nicky?” one of them asks. “You and Piper have a falling-out or somethin’?”

He grits his teeth and mutters, “Something like that.”

“Hey.” Sole grabs his shoulders, and forcibly turns him to face them. “Are you okay? That seemed-”

“Isn’t that what I should be asking you?” He begins unfolding the shopping list.

“I mean, you just punched Piper in the face. She’s your best friend, aside from Ellie.”

“You’re missin’ yourself in there. Ms. Wright has taken quite the fall from grace.”

“Nick,” they sigh, “you don’t have to make enemies on my account. Piper, you know, she was afraid. She did what she thought she had to do.”

He shakes his head with disdain. “Don’t make excuses for her. She wasn’t afraid; she was selfish. She used your pain and suffering for her personal gain. Diamond City is probably touting her as some sort of hero after exposing two synths. She doesn’t get to go making your life miserable, then pretend we’re still friends.”

“You’re gonna get yourself kicked out, too. Think of Ellie.”

“I know for a fact Ellie would approve. If I hadn’t stopped her, she’d have beaten Piper up when she first heard the news. She came to tell me what had happened and was ready to head back out and go to war.”

A sad smile crosses their face. “Enough about that.”

They pull the list from his hands to check it over one last time and finish smoothing it out. “Say ‘hi’ to Ellie for me while you’re in there, okay? And make sure you sneak some money into the top drawer of her desk. I doubt business is exactly booming with the detective away.”

“Maybe I’ll ask her to talk to Myrna for me.”

“Might be nice.” They pat him on the shoulder. “Remember, no rush. Take your time, catch up with the people you’ve missed. I’m perfectly fine out here.” Their eyes flick to the security guards. “I can sit here so long as I don’t go through the gate, right fellas?”

One of them nods. “So long as none of the higher-ups see you, you’re in the clear. Nicky vouching for you is good enough for me.”

“Thanks.” They pass back the list. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

He smiles at them gently. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

As soon as he’s through the gates, though, he heads straight for the mayor’s office. Sole can grin and bear it and pretend this doesn’t bother them all they want. It isn’t right to throw them out, and he won’t stand for it. He’s prepared to issue any threat he has to to make this right.

If anyone has anything to say about it, well, he’ll just have to deck them, too.

[juvinile]

* HALEY  LU  RICHARDSON ,  CIS FEMALE  +  SHE / HER  |   you  know  EDEN  ROMANOV ,  right ?  they’re  TWENTY - THREE ,  and  they’ve  lived  in  irving  for ,  like ,  ON  AND  OFF  THEIR  WHOLE  LIFE ?  well ,  their  spotify  wrapped  says  they  listened  to  SAFE  PLACES  BY  CASSIDY  KING  like ,  a  million  times  this  year ,  which  makes  sense  ‘cause  they’ve  got  that  whole  LACING  YOUR  MARY  JANES  SO  TIGHTLY  THEY  LEAVE  MARKS ,  WIND  BLOWN  SILK  OVERSHIRTS ,  STRANDS  OF  FRESH  CUT  HAIR  LEFT  ABANDONED  IN  THE  SINK  TO  WILT  thing  going  on .  i  just  checked  and  their  birthday  is  SEPTEMBER  16TH ,  so  they’re  a  VIRGO ,  which  is  unsurprising ,  all  things  considered .

TW  INCLUDE  internalized homophobia tw, homophobia tw.

AESTHETICS :

lacing your mary janes so tightly they leave marks, wind blown silk overshirts, strands of fresh cut hair left abandoned in the sink to wilt, light academia compulsions, using pressed petals with the thorns left sharp as bookmarks, falling apart inside the safety of your own room, putting yourself back together in a broken mirror, tight ponytails and tighter features, stretching yourself thin as elastic, bittersweet pomegranate, strawberry chapstick layered over clear lipgloss, reading the wrong script, world domination.

CHARACTER  INSPO :

hermione granger (harry potter), cameron post (the miseducation of cameron post), the white rabbit (alice in wonderland), martha gellhorn (hemingway and gellhorn), dolores abernathy (westworld), nina sayers (black swan), emily dickinson (dickinson), caitlin park (the infinite noise), margaery tyrell (game of thrones) 

GENERAL STATISTICS :

full name :  eden anastasia romanov

age / dob :  twenty threee / september 16th

gender :  cis female

pronouns :  she / her

faceclaim :  haley lu richardson

orientation :  homosexual / lesbian

residence :  port apartments

occupation :  intern in the mayor’s office

pinterest :  HERE !

BIOGRAPHY :

eden anastasia romanov. born and raised in irving (though at times it felt like the romanovs lived in behind the walls of their own private castle, operated a few steps ahead of everyone else. eden ate it up), eden was one of the younger romanov’s. her father, vaughn romanov, was a senator who recently decided to run for town mayor and her mother, adelaide romanov, was a philanthropist.

she always always always looked up to her eldest sibling, cain. it seems this was a common thread for the romanov siblings see abel.  (played by james and bri blows a kiss)

very much born with a silver spoon so far up her rear, she was always her father’s precious angel. very much her father’s daughter. she knew cain was the one with all of the pressure but this only drove her to crave success more. she was determined to make her parents proud, even if the weight on her shoulders was completely self imposed. all her parents wanted from her career wise was to marry well and look pretty. more on this trauma later.

her and her siblings were expected to be more than involved in school and their community. she was a cheerleader and a gymnast, top of her class, president of the debate team, sang in the church choir. she was a perfect smiling face for her mother’s philanthropy events and stood next to her siblings at all of her father’s rallies. she played two instruments and spoke as many languages. she made it look easy.

there wasn’t very much time for eden to make friends. she only had a handful, girls she’d grown up with in the gymnastics gym, and she knew people that gravitated towards her really only had their eyes on her family’s money. (erm. maybe thats just ur weird trust issues eden but idk im not a therapist) because of this, she was exceptionally reliant on her siblings. they were the only ones who understood what it was like to be spread so thin you snapped.

(homophobia tw) she was the first of her family to spark controversy, though it never got out, when her mother caught her kissing a girl from her cheer squad in her car parked in front of their house. though her parents didn’t fully mind, this news would be bad for her father’s campaign so eden wasn’t given a say. the romanov’s would make it go away. she still had to appeal to the wealthy sons of her parent’s aristocratic friends. you couldn’t really do that with your tongue down a girl’s throat, now, could you e? 

her father bribed the girl’s mother to take her daughter off the cheer team. this was also the day eden decided she would be a politician. there was no question. she couldn’t feel helpless anymore. was it equal parts about besting her father for making her best friend go away? perhaps. eden wouldn’t admit that. she wouldn’t admit a lot of things.

deeply liberal. a stark contrast to the republican (centrist. but still.) values of her parents. a rift was drawn between her and her parents. she was no longer her father’s little girl. she wasn’t the romanov that could do no wrong. she was yet another family black sheep, who had a lot of making up to do if she wanted back in wealth’s good graces. she felt abandoned by her parents, an issue that she would grapple with for the rest of her life. (end of tw)

her grades dropped after this. she considered running away but in the end she graduated high school. she wasn’t valedictorian like she had always hoped, but salutatorian still looked good on college apps. eden was never known for giving up, but she wasn’t usually known for coming in second place either.

it was really hard for her when cain left to.. wherever it was they went off to. (she’s still afraid to ask) she was in college, pursuing a political science degree, and she suffered more than she would ever let on. she didn’t sleep much at all, the entire year. she accomplished very little, focused solely on keeping up the image she’d worked so hard to craft. if she could survive this she could survive anything.

screech (the sound of tires coming to a halt). cain came back. conveniently, eden made the decision to take a gap year and come back for a second senior year at university. it wasn’t related. she did this for herself. (she didn’t)

cain didn’t remember her when they came back. nothing hurt worse than this.

she’s going through a lot right now. she’ll b fine. 

don’t know where to fit this in but she owns a cat named lady d named after her role model princess diana. she’s mean and bites people a lot but eden thinks it’s endearing.

PERSONALITY :

determined. type a. organized. studious. go getter. tenacious. shrill. hot tempered. prone to fantasy. escapist. withdrawn. tightly wound. deeply in need of catching a break. ankle biter energy. ruthless and bloodthirsty, can and will destroy anything that gets in her way? stuck in her head. strives so hard for perfection, low self esteem. unforgiving with mistakes. especially her own. thinks she doesn’t need anyone else. really really needs someone else. indulgent. likes luxury and doesn’t apologize for it, but isn’t loud about it either. princess locked in a tower waiting for her knight in shining armor energy. does this make sense.

WANTED CONNECTIONS : 

other irving hs students her age that were also really hard workers in school. the people she competed with and also competed alongside. 

other members of the cheer team. first girl kiss anyone? first girl kiss? 

siobhan is her ex girlfriend from college that she broke up with because of all the internalized homophobia. does this spark any connections? lmk. 

a boy she’s dating to appease her parents. not sure if she’s doing it to get them off her backs or because she really wants to prove herself to them. probably both. 

hi hookups anyone? she might be pretending to date a guy but that doesn’t mean she’s a sadist. let’s have fun. 

ok who sells her weed. god knows she needs it. 

anyone who grew up going to her mother’s events. suffering through stuffy socializing together. eden was really good at it it was probably annoying. 

does anyone need a roommate in port? she’s really clean and keeps to herself but her cat does bite. warning. her cat does bite. 

anything else i can’t think of but. i’m sure there’s more.

[mydearesthrry]

places we won’t walk (chapter one) || peter parker

summary - the doors at midtown seem a little boring, but when you get introduced to someone you seem to remember, what happens when they seem to remember you too?

word count - 2.9k (wow shes gettin better!)

pairings - peter parker x fem!reader

warnings - like mild mention of s*xual assault, angst if you squint really hard, mj being a softy for you, mj being a lowkey bi, peter being stupid as always, y/n calling peter a colonizer.... thats it ok enjoy

a/n: so i know i last updated in october, but as u all saw i have a 25 days of xnas thing going on (PLS I WROTE THE A/N LIKE A MONTH AGO PLUS I FORGOT ABOUT THE XMAS THING DISREGARD) so pwww updates will be slow (as if they werent already omg) but the next chapter will be arriving hopefully, fingers crossed, on xmas eve or xmas! also, are you guys watching the new euphoria episode? also, i’ve stopped using the word ‘stuttering’, as it may be ableist, and i’d never wanna come off as insensitive. anyway lmao, enjoy chapter one, the trials and tribulations of hitting someone in the nuts.

also side note psa: biggest thank you to @blossomparkers for helping me so much w this chapter. i owe it all tooooo u lani yani. thank u for everything !!!!!

series masterlist | regular masterlist | series playlist

(gif not mine!)

when y/n y/m/n stark was in her early years, she was never aware of the impact her father would and did hold over her life, and in turn, the whole world. for the longest time, you’d always assumed that your father wasn’t real, and everything that had been told to you by malicious family members who were jealous over your father’s “successes” had been lies, and you had it believed yourself. no one would even think that you were tony stark’s daughter until it had been mentioned. tony’s snarky attitude had been a character trait that you’d gotten, and you always took pride in your humor and attitude.

the story of your mother and tony had been messy and all over the place. from a drunken hook-up followed by multiple days of morning sickness, to a surprise pregnancy test, the storyline of your parents had been.. well.. interesting to say the least. you never focused on your family’s history, solely based on the fact that you didn’t have two fucks to give about your family history, but you also never knew your father which was-- bizarre. 

when tony had found out about you, he claimed it was a drunken accident, a mistake, and one he made when he was “less responsibly a stark”, which was actually just some fucking bullshit, but he didn’t wanna admit that he hooked up with some random chick at a bar that he thought was hot.

since you had been raised by a mother who was barely there, you had to raise yourself. you were kinda street smart and book smart, and you were always smart when it came to books, because you were the type to want to learn-- unlike others.

when you were in your teen years, you had tabs on you and the media on you 24/7 to make sure you didn’t royally fuck up. the unwanted attention became too much when you started realizing that people didn’t want you for your personality, they wanted you for your title. but this was after you moved from brooklyn. nuvale and peter never saw you as some “movie star”, or some famous person in the media because you weren’t. but when you had grown to learn what your father did, he had forced you to not fuck up to maintain his-- somewhat okay reputation. 

you always wanted that superstar life, as a fantasy of course, but when you got to it, you realized the cliche-y-ness of it all. you’d idolized the famous women in the media-- idolized how they looked like. you realized fairly quick how fucked up the media truly is. you realized how things really aren’t as they seem. its not just the galas that look extravagant, or getting to wear a fancy new gucci outfit every night. it honestly was a whole bunch of other shit you wouldn’t even imagine. it comes with the no privacy thing- people stalking you in public, the death threats, so much shit that wouldn’t happen as common if you were just anonymous.

being an avenger (basically), your dad had natasha teach you the ropes; the basic rules of how to kick someones ass. it was a handbook that the women of the avengers had created, and it had all the rules and regulations of how to spar someone on the team, and basically how to righteously beat someone's ass up. it was never really something you found too important, but as you grew older, you realized that it was very important to know, especially since you were a girl.

despite your harsh remarks and snarky attitude, your father always knew how to hit a sensitive point in you that always managed to break you down. you never quite understood why he would want to make you feel worse about yourself than you already felt, but regardless, you always felt underappreciated by him. being a stark, you were expected to be a genius, get over the top grades, and constantly be able to keep up, but with your luck, you were graced with depression, social anxiety, and a 4.0 gpa. fun, right? 

wrong.

when you were 11, you had made friends with the kids in your apartment halls, and you learned that their names were nuvale jones and peter parker, and you were basically the golden trio. you were hermione, peter was ron, and nuvale was harry. which, now that you look back at it, makes much more sense than any other arrangement. you also had another friend, harry osborn, but once he moved away, there was no way for you to talk to him anymore. he had moved across the country to california, and from then, it was just you, peter, and nuvale. your best friends ha been there for you for what seemed like decades, although you only knew them for about three.

peter was the boy with the rosy cheeks who little 12 year old you would get butterflies in her tummy. or the type of boy to bring you an extra snack if you weren’t able to pack it the night before. he was the type of boy to walk you to the nurses office if you got hit with a dodgeball. he was the type of boy to fall for someone like you. but he didn’t. or so you thought. 

little prebubescent y/n was an awkward girl who thought the world would be on her side when she needed it the most, or that whenever you needed peter or nuva, they would be there. you didn’t think your best friend would stop talking to you after you had moved away. you were too naive to know that peter liked you, and you were too naive to know that he had liked you back, but you wanted to believe what your brain would tell you, so you decided to flush your feelings down the drain and forget about them, which, in hindsight, was a pretty shitty idea. who would’ve known?

your alarm clock blared loudly from beside you, causing you to let out a loud groan in protest. you hit the side of your head angrily, then whining and rubbing the spot which you hit. whines and loud sighs fell from your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pulled the covers over your head, knowing what would come next after you would try to snooze your alarm.

“good morning, miss stark, how could i be of service to you this morning?” friday’s voice echoed through your large bedroom. you peaked your eyes and forehead from beneath the covers, your eyes slowly starting to adjust to the light that was pulled through the big blinds which were now open. 

“mmm, fri, just tell happy to get the car ready, ill be ready in a few min- nevermind, tell him to get ready in thirty, im probably gonna fall asleep in the shower.” you croaked, taking your phone from the charger which was on your nightstand. you slipped on your bunny slippers and turned on the heater in your room, the draft filling your room with cold air throughout the night.

-------

once you walked through the large industrial doors of midtown’s cafeteria, everyones voices started to drop into sharp hushed whispers, making you roll your eyes and pull your hood up over your face. you pulled your airpods from your pockets into your ears and tried your best to avoid any and all eye contact with anyone you did end up coming into contact with. you walked over to the food bar where you grabbed a red school tray and plastered on your best smile to the lunch ladies who work oh so hard to make sure you all were fed. as you walked through the line, you could feel the intensified stares on you, making your back erupt in chills. you didn’t like to be watched, and the fact that you were a so-called celebrity didn’t help your cause in any way. 

“hey.” a low voice called from behind you. it was a girl with curly hair with gorgeous light brown skin, and a jawline that would cut you. you were almost astonished by her beauty, but you remembered the facade you had to hold, especially to strangers that you didn’t know.

“hey?” you asked unsurely, wondering if she was with the media or not. which was something that tended to happen quite a bit.

“don’t worry, i’m not with the press. you just seem interesting.” she said in a monotone voice, but still with a strong look of seriousness on her face. you giggled softly when your eyes locked and your faces went totally still, making the girl in front of you laugh as well. she held out her hand in front of you, while also balancing her tray and book in the other hand. you placed yours into hers and shook it, smiling when she told you her name.

“michelle jones.” she smiled, your throat getting a little tight at her last name, and you had to admit that it struck a little chord within you, but you quickly cleared it from your thoughts and introduced yourself as well.

“y/n stark. pleasure to meet you, jones.”

“pleasure to meet you too.”

“so, i get that you’re new here,” she started walking, inviting you to walk along with her. “what- what are you doing here? i mean i get you’re smart and all, but this is a nerd school; you literally could’ve gone anywhere, so, might i ask, why here?”

“hm, interesting question. seriously i don’t know. my dad and i don’t really get along so he makes the decisions and i tell him if i like it or not. which by the way, i’m gonna have to stay near you-- you’re the only one making this bearable for me right now.” you snorted, nudging your elbow to hers. 

“hm, daddy issues. great song, love the artists.” she smirked, making you shoot your head back in loud laughter, gaining some side eyed glances from a few people sitting at the tables around you.

“so, where are we sitting? i usually nev-”

“hey mj!” you were interrupted by a boyish laugh and hoots and hollers coming from a table two tables ahead of you. 

“jesus fucking christ. what? just because i got some and you didn’t doesn’t mean that you have to be that fuckin’ loud about it.” she grumbled, placing her tray down, slinging the backpack on her right shoulder beside her. you looked at her with a nervous but curious glint in your eyes. she gave you a knowing look which said, ‘just go with what i say’, making you nod in understanding.

“woah! holy shit! i m- i mean woah- nice to- nice to meet you!” the boy fumbled over his words, looking at you and michelle in disbelief, shaking his friends shoulder and poking at his cheek.

“nice cut, g. looks nice.” you said to him, giggling as you stuck your straw into the mini juice box.

“o-oh, thanks… g?” he said back to you, observing your looks with a confused expression written on his face making you giggle at his confusion. 

“peter! look! y/n stark is at our table!” he whisper shouted to his friend, making you look at michelle with a smile on your face and playfully rolling your eyes. she looked back at you, rolling her eyes as well, gesturing to her head as if saying ‘idiots’, making you giggle and turn back to them. 

“so, bowl cut dude, what’s your name?” you nodded to him, picking at your salad with the blac spork that was so cordially given to you by mj. 

“n-ned, ned leeds.” he smiled sheepishly.

“and you, colonizer, what’s your name?” you tapped on the table, alerting the boys attention. you could hear michelle and ned hollering and snickering from their seats, but decided to keep your poker face rolling. but i mean, how couldn’t you? the look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

“peter park- wait did you just call me a colonizer?” he cut himself off in his own sentence, looking at his other friends for confirmation, to which they nodded, still cackling at the fact that you had indeed call him a colonizer.

“peter park, hm?” you teased, ignoring the way you hesitated and ignoring the way your chest felt heavy when the name of peter was said.

“n-no thats not my name-” he said, tripping over his words, making you let out a chuckle. 

“i’m messing with you. with what you’ve given me, i could only guess your name is peter parker?” you rested your chin on your hand, engaging in the awkward conversation.

“yeah. thats my name.” he said more confidently, giving you a tight lipped smile.

“nice to meet you, parker.”

“you too, stark, my pleasure.”

----

after the small encounter with your new found friends, you had gone back to your respective classes, which meant that your next class had peter in it. after you had split up, you decided to get there early to avoid any commotion surrounding you.

as the boring class continued, you heard the loud clicking of high heels in the hallways, which had to be one person and one person only.

“stark,” someone shouted from the door which swung open. low and behold, in front of you was the prickly bitch, your principal, mrs cunningham. “come with me, eugene’s parents have requested a meeting with you and your father considering that you had just hit their son in the private areas!” everyone snickered and laughed. finally someone had stood up to flash’s shit. 

“y- you punched flash in the nuts? i thought that was just a rumor?” peter stuttered, looking at you in disbelief.

“yeah, the fuck was i gonna do? let him flirt with me? no. that bitch tried to grab my ass. i’m a stark, i was raised better than that.” you whispered to him, packing your bag as you did so.

“hm, guess you’re right. well, good luck stark.” 

“thanks parker.”

--------

once you arrived in the principals office, you saw what seemed to be his mother in one of the seats decked out in expensive pearls and diamonds. typical.

“little miss over here punched my son in the privates! i will not allow this to happen!” fuck. you thought; another one of those stuck up cunty parents.

“pfft, probably paid to get their son into here.” you muttered under your breath, playing with your protection bracelets incase anything was to ever happen.

“wHAT? mrs cunningham, i will not allow this child to talk about my son this wa-”

“hello! i was called in?” a voice interrupted, one you could only peg as your father.

“ahh! mr stark! you’re finally here!” your hilarious excuse as a principal said cheerfully.

“i am! and i am here to.. come and have a meeting about my daughter's- behavior?” he asked questiongly, already seeing the triumphant and cocky look on your face. he knew you weren’t at fault, and you were gonna lie your pretty ass out of it.

“well, mr stark, we have a student in the nurses room due to the actions of your daughter!” she looked at him menacingly. he shook his head with a smile on his face and walked over to you, grasping your shoulders in his hands.

“well kiddo, wanna explain what and why you did what you did?” he smiled, giving you two taps on your shoulder, already knowing what was next. you two had a pretty good acting schedule when it came to it, when in reality, you despised eachother.

“sure daddy! eugene had been hitting on me for several days now, and even found my private social medias in use to.. how can i say this, use me for my fame? he tried talking to me, very inappropriately on several occasions, and even went as far as to try and grab me in areas in which i find extremely inappropriate, without my consent, might i add, which doesn’t seem okay with me. does it seem exceptional to you, mrs thompson?” you asked, while only keeping your eyes on his mother.

“why, i am so sorry miss stark! his father will be in contact, i did not raise my baby to be this way! im sorry for any inconvenience he may have caused you!” she gasped, raising a hand to her heart. 

“it’s okay, i just request, may this never happen again? i would not like my privacy to be invaded, much less from your son, and can i please ask that he never try to hit on me, nor any girls at this school ever again? i can only imagine how many other girls this may have happened to, mrs thompson.” you sighed, your eyes filling up with fake tears. you reached up to touch your fathers hand, tapping it twice back, knowing that you both had just won.

“never again miss stark, once again, i am so sorry this happened to you.” 

“it’s okay. now mrs cunningham, shall we see our way out?” your father answered for you, looking over at the old white woman who looked like a piece of cheese. she could only nod in awe, giving you the cue to pick up your bags and walk proudly to the door.

“thanks i guess.” you muttered, pulling out your airpods once more, hoping to seal the conversation with your father.

“yeah yeah, no problemo.” he muttered back, avoiding eye contact and stuffing his hands in his  pockets. 

once you reached the door, you remembered that you had left something in your locker, and informed your dad that you’d be going back to get it. he all but nodded and looked back at his shoes before trudging to the car.

once you entered the seemingly halls, much to your surprise, you saw a scrawny teenage boy lifting open a set of lockers, which you didn’t even know was possible, and pulling out a red and blue suit. once you saw who the hands belonged to, your mouth fell agape as you gasped,

“peter?”

[ofmargos]

chicago’s very own margo rosas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mercedes-AMG G65 , welcome ! your resemblance to camila mendes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re distrusting , but being passionate might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be lipstick stained kisses on mirrors , doing vocal warm-ups five minutes before top of show , popping bottles of bubbly to celebrate buying a new pair of shoes . ( my biological dad paid off my mom to keep my relation to him a secret ) & ( cis-female + she / her  ) +  (  lia , 20 , she / her , cst )

whAT is up my dudes ! i’m lia & i lowkey missed wealthy & writing for my bbygirl margo so i’m rlly excited to be here !!!! if you know her from before i’m sorry lmao i’ve tweaked her background a bit but everything else is p much the same ig ?? she’s fun , she’s a dumbitch , & she’s here to make things harder than they need to be probs . but if you wanna know more , i wrote a novel below so plz enjoy that . if you wanna plot then LIKE THIS & i’ll slide in your im’s.or if you prefer discord hmu @  𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904. i look forward to writing with y’all ! <3

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : margaret lucia rosas -- NICKNAME(S) : margo ( preferred name , started introducing herself to people as “margo” back in like the 7th or 8th grade ??? who’s margaret ? we don’t know her ) , mar , mars -- * AGE : twenty-three -- * D.O.B : october 31 -- * ZODIAC : scorpio -- * GENDER : cis-female --* ORIENTATION : heterosexual heteroromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5′2″ -- * NATIONALITY : american -- * BIRTHPLACE : chicago , illinois -- * OCCUPATION : broadway performer -- * TRAITS : passionate , creative , dramatic , distrusting , outgoing , ambitious , fun-loving , loyal , daring , sarcastic , stubborn , overconfident , impulsive , hard-working , petty , secretive lowkey

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

( TW : BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABORTION, ALCOHOLISM, AND DRUG USE )

   first things first , i’m just going to say it-- margo was an accident . and her story begins with her mother , stassia , who was born and raised on the wrong side of the tracks in chicago , illinois . although she was born into poverty , she had big aspirations for herself and wanted a better lifestyle . her ambition and work ethic were unmatched , and that’s how she managed to get into columbia university ( thank you scholariship $$ ). stassia was in the middle of struggling through her college years when she met her future baby daddy . he was older , going through grad school , and the sole heir to a billion-dollar company . the sparks between them flew instantly despite their differences and they messed around for the better part of a year before the unexpected happened . stassia found herself taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom in between finals ( #justcollegethings , amirite ) and swore she was going to pass out when she noticed the double lines . and let’s just say that her baby daddy did NOT take the news well . a lot of horrible things were said that day . too many hurt feelings for the relationship ( that apparently was never that serious to homeboy ) to carry on . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) so he cut all ties with stassia-- but not before giving her a crazy proposition : get an abortion and never talk to him again OR keep the baby but tell absolutely no one it’s his and never talk to him again . they both seemed like shitty options to stassia , who was actually tragically in love w him , but when he even offered to PAY HER a hefty sum ( i’m talking millions of dollars ) to keep the secret .. well-- it seemed like a blessing in disguise . she’d finally have the funds to live the life she always wanted . even if there was now a baby she didn’t plan for in the mix . so she took the hush money , had the baby in secret , and ran off to completely reinvented herself . ( TRIGGER WARNING END )

    although margo’s mother was born into poverty , margo certainly was not . by the time she was born , margo’s mom was ramping up to graduate college and join the high society in the heart of chicago . she got a good job , a lavish place to live , and never told margo about her past . margo grew up completely disconnected from her mother’s side of the family and had no idea of the lies she was being fed over the years . early on in margo’s childhood , her mother met a man through work who she would later go on to marry . that man is the only dad that margo has ever known . he and his daughter were a welcomed addition to their little family , making margo’s home life feel complete in some way . she was provided a good life with the dual income adding to the millions her mother kept . the life her mother always wished she had growing up . in a way , everything she did was for margo . she never wanted her babygirl to struggle like she had to .

   as she got older , margo went to all the best schools but only made average grades . she was never too concerned with academics and instead focused on her poppin’ social life and extracurriculars . during her middle school days , she developed an affinity for the performing arts . when everyone had to pick an elective , margo found herself in the theatre class and absolutely loving it . and she was good too . she had excellent stage presence and took every role she got in school productions in stride -- literally the best tree number 3 you’ve ever seen in your life . as she moved on to high school , she rose in the ranks of the theatre department until she was pretty much landing every single lead by the time she was an upperclassmen . acting was her passion , and she figured why not turn being dramatic and talking a lot ( her two most notable personality traits ) into a career . to really hone the craft , she trained herself to be a triple threat : actor , singer , and dancer ( sutton foster , eat your heart out ) . honestly truly had rachel berry in early seasons of glee vibes-- she knew she was the best around and wouldn’t stand to let anyone take the spotlight from her . her peers hated to love her talents because she acted like such a bitch to them offstage / out of character . not that margo really cared for what others thought of her anyway . self absorbed as ever , she told herself she didn’t need friends and generally pushed away any one that dared try to get close to her-- save for her sister . though somehow , someway she managed to get sucked into a small group of friends that would change her for the better ( s/o to ky and gio , sorry they had to put up w bitchy hs margo , rip )

   after graduating somewhere in the middle of her class , margo followed in her mother’s footsteps and went to columbia university . she was really only able to get in because she was a legacy and her parents made a considerable donation to the school , but we don’t talk about it . and to say that margo’s college years were transformative feels like an understatement . on one hand , they were some of the best years of her life : she got a true taste of independence , met some of her best friends ( s/o oliver and claudia ), and felt fulfilled to be in the city she had romanticized for so long-- new york baby ! but it was also a very low point for her . back in her high school years , she felt like a very big fish in a teeny tiny pond . she was hot shit , the top dog in her department , and all her hard work and effort to remain leading lady had paid off . however , at columbia she was just one in hundreds of talented people . some with more or less talent , or more or less connections , but they deserved a shot at fame just as much as she did . margo felt like she was fighting for her chance in the spotlight every single day and it was both parts exhausting and humbling for her . she had a amy march mentality “i want to be great, or nothing” and considered throwing in the towel . temporarily thrown off by the pressure to be successful , she took a small tumble from grace . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) turning towards alcohol was her coping mechanism of choice . losing herself in the party scene and surrounding herself with other people that prioritized getting drunk or high over going to class and getting good grades had an obvious effect on her academic performance . ( END TRIGGER WARNING ) she almost lost her place in the BFA Theatre Program during her junior year due being on academic probation . it took a little bit of intervention on her close friends and family part to get margo clean and pull herself together . but by her senior year , she got back on track to graduate on time and participated in various shows at local theaters to build her resume . after almost losing everything she had ever worked for , a fire was lit under margo that had her determined to push herself hard than ever before and make a name for herself in the theatre world . 

   after she graduated from columbia she moved to new york permanently so that she could fully submerge herself in her work . not long after graduating , she was lucky enough to book several gigs including her big breakout role as lydia in beetlejuice the musical ! it really skyrocketed her into broadway stardom which is cool . a life long dream that once seemed unobtainable was suddenly a reality and she couldn’t have been more elated . with her sudden ( and well deserved ) success , she got a lot of media attention . soon she was getting verified on twitter , instagram , gaining a whole bunch of followers , and getting asked to be on talkshows and stuff to promote the show . honestly , truly a dream ! but her new-found fame gained the attention of another group of people .. her mom’s long lost family . one of her aunt’s ( that she previously didn’t know existed ) reached out to her through social media . and at first , margo honestly couldn’t believe that she had family that her mom never told her about . but after some thought it sort of made sense . in hindsight , her mom had always been evasive whenever margo asked about the other’s childhood or her side of the family .

   when margo told her mom about her aunt reaching out and how she wanted to meet her , her mom shut it down quick . stassia told her there were a lot of reasons that she didn’t talk to that side of the family and that was that-- PERIODT . but margo was #rebellious and went to meet with her aunt anyway . and that’s how she found out about her brazilian roots and her big ol’ loving and supportive extended family . that whole experience made margo reconsider what other things her mom was keeping from her . and boy oh boy was that a rabbit hole she shouldn’t have gone down . when margo started to demand her mother tell her the truth , it caused their relationship to grow tense . stassia eventually cracked and told her about her bio-dad and all the things she went through for margo . with the truth finally being exposed to her , margo started seeing things in a new light . like her whole life is kinda a lie and why didn’t her father want her ? where was he ? does he know who she is ? why did he never try to contact her ? has she ever walked past him in the streets and never knew ? it was all too much for her to think about so she just kinda ... shut it all out . she acted like nothing was different , even if her “ what if ” thoughts keep her up most nights . 

   if you just ignore the abandonment issues , insecurities , and her inability to handle emotions and focus solely on her success in material terms : margo’s doing really well ! she’s been living in new york full time for two (2) years now . she’s one of broadway’s most popular rising stars . having completed her run as the original lydia deetz on broadway , she’s moved on to take on the mantel of janis in mean girls on broadway . she’s learning , growing , and thriving . just trying to have a good time all the time with her friends and live the dream , baby !

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

margo is super fun-loving and down to clown 

will try anything once and it’s gotten her in trouble more times than she can count

also cannot stand to be bored , so she’s always looking for the next big adventure 

although she can be really ridiculous sometimes , she’s very serious when it comes to her work . she’s super hard-working and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of achieving her dreams : even herself

margo’s a very sociable girl and will talk to anyone and everyone . she’s the type that will hold a conversation for 2hrs with a stranger at a party and then when you ask her “who was that” she’s like “i don’t remember their name but i do know their entire life story so that’s cool”

has a way of making people feel like they know her really well when really she’s only letting them see 1/8th of her

keeps her personal life private normally unless you’re super good friends w her

i wouldn’t recommend pissing her off , bc she is petty as a mf and will lit rally never forget how one’s wronged her . this causes her to start fights sometimes . she’ll just bring up old shit out of no where and , since she’s nosy af , she makes everything her business and confronts people on their bs

she’s a whole liar bc she claims she’s a “retired party girl” but really party girl margo has never stopped , will never stop , can never be stopped

studied theatre in college but minored in mass communications just in case she needed a backup job

is v bad at being an adult !!!! like ... can’t cook , often forgets about her responsibilities until the last minute or needs to be reminded like 20 times , stills calls her parents to be like “how do u use a washing machine plz help” , y’know the drill . yet somehow she manages to act as a mom friend to the people that are closest to her ??? v much a “do as i say not as i do” type of hypocrite lol

she has a tiktok and posts dumb shit on there all the time w her friends and like vlogs her backstage experiences in the theater and does the stupid dances and all that stuff hehe

is learning portuguese after meeting the brazilian side of her family

self-proclaimed dancing queen and it’s not because she learned ballet , jazz , and tap whole dabbling in other styles but because when she’s drunk you will in fact catch her dancing on tables !!!!!

i cannot stress enough how bad she is at dealing with her own feelings . like ... instead of dealing with them head on she just ... shuts down . runs away . will ghost on someone she really likes just bc she’d rather leave first than get left and i hate her for it

have i mentioned how big her ego is ???? pHEW . she rides a v fine line between self confident and OVER confident . but tbh it’s just a cover up for how much she rlly hates herself , there i said it

loyalty is EVERYTHING to margo . if you got her back , she’s got your back . but if you screw her over or mess with anyone she loves then she’ll likely try to make your life a living hell IM SORRY

undiagnosed insomniac . nights she spends alone in her own bed are the hardest for her because it’s when all the bad scary thoughts creep up on her and no matter how much she wants to shut them out and just close her eyes and fall to sleep , she can’t . so she’ll often roam the city looking for a distraction or hit up her friends and bother them for some spare company

she’s doesn’t like to be alone ( not like in a romantic relationship sense -- she actually likes being single bc she’s afraid of letting ppl get close enough to hurt her ). hence why she’s always had a roommate even after she moved out of her parent’s house . if she’s not attached to her roommate / best friend kylie’s hip then she’s definitely hitting up her sister or her other friends to see if they want to hang out , even if hanging out is laying around doing nothing or running errands together . margo wants to tag along just for the company

notoriously known for coming up with terrible ideas or following through with other people’s terrible ideas without question bc #YOLO

she’s her pr agents worse nightmare simply bc she has no filter and will not change herself or what she posts just bc she has a big audience ( follow margo on social media and you’re gonna see the good , the bad , and the ugly she does not give a FUCK )

always has good intentions ! her execution / way of showing those intentions is just poor !

she is a rich girl that could not survive not being rich and doesn’t even realize how spoiled she is . spends money like it’s nothing

a mob boss ( this is a joke but also kinda not a joke )

WANTED CONNECTION PAGES HERE 

[superrcell]

what do you think about mr. matchsticks burakh :)

:)

How I feel about this character

I love him. I love him sooo much. 

Of course I love him because he’s a child you can adopt in Pathologic 2. Of course I love him because he very obviously cares a lot about Artemiy, of course I love him because he basically clings to you into the game. Of course I love him as a constant by my side in game. But of course I also love him because of his own character as well.

A few months ago I had realized that it was inevitable for him to become my favorite character. It wasn’t just that I had run out of ideas to think about with Murky, or that I already loved him so much (so much that he was pretty much the sole reason I bought Pathologic 2), but also because he somewhat fits into my favorite character archetype. I once compared him to Dieter from Naoki Urasawa’s Monster, which I understand that’s something that only a few people will really get, but like... it’s just the whole “stubborn kid trying to raise himself above his past and pursue his passions (and also clinging and caring a lot about a doctor I guess?)” thing that they both share.

It’s hard for me to explain why I like him. I love his personality. I love that he’s snippy, that he’s so stubborn and like... rough around the edges. He’s fun to read, his way of talking is just so.. fun sometimes! It may not be a lot but he just... talks like a kid. I love the times when he mispronounces words, I love it when you ask if he knows what a serum is and he is just like “a thing that makes people tell the truth.” Like he’s... just a kid! He seems like he tries to act older than he is, he’s someone who doesn’t know a lot but he’ll put the things he does know to use, even if he’s wrong. He wants to help! 

I love his story and arc so much, too. It’s not especially present in the game, but it’s interesting to think about this kid who has known thievery for probably almost his entire life to be the way to survive, but then getting incredibly... interested in being a doctor, and wanting to help people. Like, I just love to think about his dedication towards being a doctor, why hes so passionate about it... Like, he’s INCREDIBLY dedicated. In Marble Nest, he’s there because he wanted to learn how to be a doctor from Daniil, the third person he’s tried to learn from... He’s just so passionate about helping people. And I love to think about what could possibly be the reason, or how this connects to his past. Not in a sort of “Why is he so desperate to help people,” or in any sad sense, but more of how him becoming a doctor could relate to his skills or how his world was like before. Like, my favorite line of his is, “I know the Lines, too. How else could I find my way around all the attics, and the cellars, and those twisty yards?” Just the connections between who he was and now is trying to be... is incredibly interesting to me. 

Everything I’ve said so far mainly applies to Pathologic 2, mostly because he’s in that one more and has more of an arc there, but I also love him so, so much in Pathologic 1! Maybe not everything, but I love how fucking weird he is. And I love his facial expressions! He looks like he’s in on a secret, or like he knows something about you that you yourself don’t know... And, just, he’s just SUCH a kid in P1. And I love his voice lines sooo much, like how unfazed he seems by weird shit, like the line like “Someone's leaned against my window at night. Ooh, spooky!” is SO fun to listen to. He’s just a fun character to talk to in P1!

Like, overall, he’s just such a nice character to think about, and he’s become such a big comfort character for me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I don’t think about him in a romantic relationship often. I think that him and Notkin could be potentially interesting, or him and Khan, due to the whole sort of triad thing they have, and how that could factor in a relationship, but it’s a little boring for me to think about him in a romantic relationship otherwise.

My non-romantic OTP for this character (im just interpreting this as other relationships i find interesting)

Murky. You all know it’s Murky first and foremost. I love, love, LOVE sibling relationships, especially their’s. I love the dynamic they have, they both love and care for Artemiy, and are connected through him, but have incredibly different opinions on Isidor, both of which are just... so interesting! Like, I love that they both come together, are both connected by showing the different sides of the same coin, of Sticky seeing Isidor as a mentor, as an incredibly good, helpful person, but of Murky knowing what Isidor has done and how much his own actions have hurt people, that he’s not always the best man you, or Artemiy, think he was. And even beyond that, even beyond just that tiny piece of their relationship, I LOVE them. I love thinking about how they might get along, how their personalities might clash (because wow they would!), but overall they’re both just... siblings who have suffered, who both would probably do anything to help one another. I love thinking of how much they must care for one another... Murky saying, “I don’t hate having a brother at all,” literally made me sobbbbb the first time I read it. I love sibling relationships, I love that they’re both explicitly siblings, I love that the writers didn’t keep it vague at all which I feel like must happen, or else I wouldn’t feel so strongly about this. I just love them. I love them. 

Artemiy, of course, is another relationship I find incredibly interesting. I feel like I focused on a lot of it here already, so I won’t have as much to say, but I love how much Sticky cares about Artemiy, and maybe Artemiy doesn’t deserve that, but... It’s really sweet. And... I don’t know. I feel like Artemiy is someone that Sticky needs. Not the Artemiy that yells at Sticky, of course, but more of the Artemiy in those last few days, someone who is more of a friend to Sticky. Of course Sticky would need a father figure, and Artemiy isn’t really the greatest person for that, but I also think that Sticky... wouldn’t want him to be strictly a father figure. I feel like if Sticky had been adopted by a parental figure that was just... overtly caring, or something of the sort, he wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I think he would feel a little too old, a little too able to take care of himself to handle having someone else take too much care for him. And... I don’t know. I just feel like Artemiy could be a good match for him. Plus, Sticky already cares and trusts him a lot, and wants to learn from him... I just really enjoy thinking about their dynamic. It just can be really sweet. 

The rest of the Termites! I just will be brief with this one, but I love every sort of interaction he could have with the rest of them: 

With Notkin and Khan, the sort of triad thing I spoke about before, what their friendship could possibly be like. I typically think of it more in a silly way, like Notkin and Khan are arguing, while Sticky is just like, “You’re both wrong and dumb.” Like he would just be an intermediary between them, which I think is really interesting? Sucks that he finds them annoying, though. 

With Grace, I find their dynamic interesting. Niru pointed out how they’re both self-sacrificing (well, Grace more-so), which... I don’t know. They have interesting parallels in regards to that. I feel like it would be such a... soft friendship, and like there’s many ways they would get along, many things they have in common. Plus, I’m just thinking of playing Sticky in MOTW with him yelling SO much at Grace for her putting herself on the line, and trying to care of her as much as possible or like whenever Grace stayed over (outside of the game), Sticky would play games for her, and I don’t know... I just see their friendship as being maybe not exactly super established or deep, but they care for one another a lot. It just would be very soft which is nice to think about. 

With Capella, I have less thoughts in regards to them. I feel like they would have a respectful relationship towards one another. Maybe they get together and complain about Notkin or Khan or something, but other than that I see it more as a friendship built on mutual respect towards one another, and I can’t quite see them hanging out as much. Still, a very interesting dynamic to think about.

And finally with Taya, I love the idea of Sticky telling Taya stories! I don’t think it would come up in P2, as the changes in Sticky’s character may take that out, but it’s so cute! I love, love, love it!!! I love thinking of what kind of stories, and it’s just... it’s a nice dynamic, and I feel like it fleshes out both of their characters in a nice way. 

Before I move on, I have to say. Read Niru’s fic on Sticky’s relationship with the other Termites please it’s so good!!! 

Outside of the Termites, I have to say I find the parallels between him and Clara interesting. Both are thieves, and I just realized both of them are healers in a sense, who just want to help. I don’t have quite many thoughts on it, but I think the parallels between them could be so interesting to explore. 

And, finally, Shrew!!! I love Shrew so much, her dynamic with Sticky is so interesting. I love how while she’s trying to let Daniil pass on, she also seems hopeless and scared, and she’s so frustrated with Sticky for not allowing her to help. And I just find the fact that despite all we ever see of Sticky and Shrew is them arguing, and disagreeing heavily on what the situation needs, Sticky still says they’re quite good friends... It’s interesting to think of what their friendship could be like. In MOTW, I had Sticky and Shrew be childhood friends who have grown apart in all of these years, but still care about each other, but not really relating like they once did... I just feel like they have the vibes. I love thinking about them.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hmm... I don’t think Sticky really, truly cares about Daniil in Marble Nest. I can only see him caring about Daniil being because Daniil is a doctor, someone who can help him help people. Well, I mean, of course he cares about him, but not quite like as much as other people seem to think. I also don’t like people only focusing on Sticky only in relation to Daniil or Artemiy. I want to see more people think about Sticky as his own character, rather than a character that cares about their favorite. However, I tend to stay away from most Sticky content I think, so who knows what the popular opinion on Sticky is.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Oh, like I said, I hope that there’s more on his dynamic with Clara in her route! I think it would be so interesting and fun!! I also wish you could talk to him a bit more, like on day 10 or 11 in Artemiy’s route. Also, of course, I wish you could hug him in P2. I don’t know, I’m more just excited to possibly see him in the other routes, interacting with other characters!

[xmenwickedgame]

Here’s to the New Year (drabble)

//So I wrote this last year around this time. I just didn’t have a blog to share it on. Although some things have changed for my muses in a year I thought I’d upload this anyway. 

Happy New Year!

___

Sometimes ten years makes all the difference. 

That was the thought running through James Xavier’s head this evening. He was seated in the family room—distinct from the living room as this was smaller and almost exclusively reserved for his family as opposed to the growing student body. One of the many changes made over the last decade but not necessarily a bad one. The Xavier family and all extended members had a rough and rocky history: they deserved a space to let their hair down or however the saying went. Be the man and/or woman behind the curtain and just...unplug. On the off-chance someone somewhere needed something, well, that’s what telepathy was for. Mister Xavier to the rescue in record time. James smiled to himself, nestling further against the sofa he currently occupied. He remembered a time his powers caused more trouble than solutions. Another welcomed change in the last decade.

“What’s so funny?” Ventured a voice. James met the gray eyes of the woman seated beside him.

“Ahh, nothin’ Em,” he replied with a lazier grin. “Just reminiscing.”

Emily Clearwater was his best friend and significant other: she was one of if not the first major change in his life all those years ago. When he’d been a boy of fifteen and she a girl near-about that age—her Time Lord DNA made it difficult to tell. It worked out though, he mused, because he too aged at a slower rate. They’d been through hell and back, he and Emily had: sometimes hand in hand, others with teeth bared and bleeding hearts. Here they were now about to start a family.

Warmth filled James’ yellow eyes—eyes like his mother’s, but only the pupils—and he shuffled up just slightly.

“Reminiscing?” Emily echoed as he wove an arm around her shoulder. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you use that word.” She laughed as she spoke, a warm, hearty sound. He couldn’t help but echo it.

“Oh yeah?” James asked, kissing the crown of her auburn hair. “This mean I get some kinda prize?”

“Oi!” A loud and deliberately obnoxious voice belonging to the Doctor cut in. 

“Whatever you’re gonna give ‘im you give in your own private quarters. ‘s nothin’ anyone here wants to see.” The elder Time Lord waved his hand at the two in what looked like a scolding motion. James fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was unable, however, to fight off a blush and by the way Emily’s skin warmed up beneath his chin she’d apparently failed as well.

“Shite dad,” she grumbled and James was very sure he heard an eye roll in there. “We aren’t kids anymore.” Emily slid a hand over her baby bump. At four months, she was just starting to show. “Are you gonna keep the lectures up once the baby’s born?”

The Doctor scowled and leaned forward in the loveseat he currently occupied. 

“I will if you two can’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Seriously, Doc?” James jumped in. He had, in the last decade, managed to score good graces with the older (way way older) Time Lord but that didn’t mean they always saw eye to eye. James placed his hand over Emily’s before continuing. “You don’t think we’d actually—“

“Okay that’s enough of that.” Announced the unmistakable voice of Raven Darkholme. All heads turned as she entered the room, a tray of finger foods balanced in each hand. Haha, James thought and while it was juvenile he couldn’t help himself: mom to the rescue.

“Need help, love?” Asked the Doctor, grabbing the arm rests as if prepared to stand. Raven shook her head: James didn’t miss the slant in her scaly brow.

“You stay put, Mister.” She said, crossing into the center of the room. An oval coffee table with a protective glass top sat there and it was on this glass she at last set down the trays. It was then James noticed she’d dressed up slightly for the evening: nothing flashy but the dark collared shirt and skirt combo (with accessories) were a step above her usual attire. Weird. Not necessarily a bad weird; it was New Year’s eve after all. They’d all gone the extra mile in one way or another. Himself more a half than the full but hey, he was among family. If combed hair and a button-down with jeans didn’t fly, why bother staying in? There were more than a few places around accepting that kind of attire. If James wanted to, he could spend a casual night in a smoke-filled bar, entertaining strangers who gawked at his eyes and marveled at his ‘magic tricks.’ Maybe in another life he did just that. The current James, however, would much rather his present company. He fit right in among the mutants and aliens. A soft laugh dropped from his lips and this caught Emily’s attention.

“What are you smirking about?” She asked, a bemused look on her face.

“Hm? Ah nothing. Nothing important.” Emily poked his shoulder. “Come on, you already used that one tonight. Tell me.” James‘ eyebrow stayed put but his smile widened.

“Fine,” he said. “I was thinkin’ how cute you look with your nose all wrinkled.”

“You were not.” Emily said, a touch of color in her cheeks again. She laughed as well now, a laugh she hastened to muffle behind her hand, lest (he guessed) she subject herself to more paternal embarrassment. The Doctor however no longer seemed interested in monitoring their PDA: attention refocused almost solely on Raven. It used to bother James and Emily both—wasn’t there some kind of rule against courting your son’s-girlfriend’s-father? (Or your daughter’s-boyfriend’s-mother?) Ten years really made a world of difference.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Asked the Doctor again when Raven returned to the door. She paused, arms crossed beneath her breasts.

“No. Thank you. I’m just waiting on the boys.”

“Oh yeah?” James chimed in, peering over Emily’s head. “Who’d you rope into helping this time?”

Now it was Raven raising a brow. And people assumed he’d inherited that trait from his father. “Why? Looking for a stand-in while you go crusading across the galaxy?”

Way to play left field there. James blinked, temporarily at a loss for words. If the surrounding silence was any indication, he wasn’t the only one. 

“Wh—no.” He sputtered. “I was just—“ and then he caught the smile playing on her lips. That victorious maternal smile when she knew she’d gotten through to him. “...sorry, mom. Wasn’t fair to leave you alone with the holiday stuff.”

“No it wasn’t,” Raven agreed. She paused, yellow eyes roving from what looked like face to face. “Lucky for you all,” she went on suddenly. “I wasn’t alone.” 

Raven looked to the doorway again. “Logan! You said you were right behind me.”

”I am right behind ya,” came the graveled growl of a one Logan Howlett. James ducked his head as the burly Canadian entered the room. The grin he wore would’ve all-too-easily caught Logan’s eye. Was he too old to call his mom a super-hero? Because damn, the way she commanded their rambunctious rag-tag family suggested nothing less.

“Put the bottles over there,” Raven said, nodding to the coffee table and when she did James noticed he was in fact carrying dark glass bottles. At a glance they all looked like champagne, but that was a lesson James didn’t need relearning: since he could remember, or at least for as long as they’d been close, sparkling cider—the kind free of alcohol—was included for the celebration. This year was no exception and thank goodness for it: he might’ve long since reached drinking age but champagne did no good for a mom-to-be. Half Time Lord or not, they’d agreed to play it safe. Besides, his father didn’t drink either.

Speaking of my dad, where is he? James sat up straighter, clearing his view of the doorway. No sooner did he then in limped Charles Xavier, his dad and apparently another extra set of hands. The older man carried with him several champagne glasses. Okay, that was new. Charles slowed as he crossed through the doorway, glancing shyly at Raven as though waiting for instruction. James’ parents had made as much peace with one another as they could but seeing them work together, when had that started? Or had it already and he in his ‘crusading ’ simply missed it?

“On the table, Charles,” said Raven gently and the elder Xavier bobbed his head. James tried his best not to stare. Charles had gradually emerged from his frightened shell since coming home but guilt and self-loathing, these took longer to overcome. Was ten years the time needed to heal all that? To heal the pain between his parents? James felt a finger that wasn’t his push his chin up. He took the hint, closing his mouth.

‘Thanks for that,’ he told Emily telepathically. He felt that same hand slide across his arm.

‘You’re welcome.’

The last two members of their family—Hank McCoy and Alex Summers—entered soon after. Alex almost immediately on Charles’ heels with the rest of the glasses in tow and Hank a little while later with a pretty but very athletic-looking woman James didn’t recognize.

“Hope it’s alright.” He said to Raven. She smiled, patting his shoulder.

“Of course it is, Hank. You don’t have to ask.” She slipped around him as he led his date towards them, closing the living room door. There was a sense of accomplishment in that, James felt it from his seat: a satisfied finality that now, together at last, they could ring in the new year.

‘All set mom?’ James asked, using his powers again. She looked over at him and though she said nothing at first, she didn’t need to: her eyes spoke volumes by themselves.

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘I’m all set, James.’ Then she joined the group right as Logan turned the TV on. Dick Clark’s face materialized before them, preparing for the Count Down as he always did. Some things never changed. For the most part though...for the most part they did and, James decided, watching his family interact, those changes often came for the better.

See you later, ‘87. Can’t wait to see what’s gearing up in 1988.

[goodlucktai]

the way you move ain’t fair, you know

final fantasy xv pairing: promnis word count: 1595 summary: Ignis and Prompto, and three times they danced. read on ao3

x

It doesn’t help that their audience is laughing. Ignis levers a stern look at them and tightens his grip on his dancing partner’s waist before the inevitable escape attempt can be made.

“Ignore them, Prompto,” he says. “Don’t go slinking off now, you’ve almost got the hang of it.”

“The hang of stomping on your feet?” Prompto says miserably. “Yeah, I’ve got that down.”

There’s a ball coming up, the first one that Prompto will attend as the prince’s royal guard rather than the prince’s personal guest. There’s a certain level of etiquette he was trained in already, along with the other recruits that were going into regular Crownsguard services, but with higher clearance comes additional requirements.

At least, that’s how Clarus pitched it. It was a kinder, more professional way of saying “your best friend threw you under the bus.” Because if Noctis had to dance, by Shiva, so did Prom.

He’s not the clumsy teenager he was in high school. He’s grown into his wide shoulders and long limbs, leanly muscled from training, lithe and flexible and strong. Ignis is certain he’ll be a beautiful dancer, if only he manages to learn the steps.

“You’re much better at this than Noctis,” Ignis says plainly, making no effort to lower his voice. It carries easily across the polished surfaces of the airy ballroom. “It took him weeks to learn a simple waltz, and that was with a handful of royal tutors. He may appear graceful now, but appearances are deceiving.”

It surprises Prompto into laughter, the first unselfconscious sound he’s made all evening. Noctis looks betrayed. Gladio looks as though he’s happy just to be alive in this moment. At least they’ve stopped making fun.

“Well,” Prompto says, “I guess I can think of worse ways to spend my time.”

His posture is relaxed, his body radiating warmth against Ignis’ hands where they’re holding him. He’s been sized for a formal tux for the event, and generally Ignis has a proclivity for the sharp and elegant lines of suits and gowns-- but Prompto looks good like this, in paint-stained sweats and one of Gladio’s T-shirts. Ignis almost prefers it to the tailcoat he’ll wear at the ball.

“As can I,” Ignis says, and he signals Noctis to start the music again, and away they whirl.

“Aw, come on, Iggy,” Prompto says, “I know you’ve gone clubbing before. Don’t lie to me.”

Twenty-four and ludicrously charming, Prompto leans languidly across Ignis’ desk like a cat that caught a canary. There’s a smile tugging at his mouth that is almost a smirk, knowing and self-satisfied.

Ignis shuffles paperwork around for something to do with his hands, well aware of their friends’ hawk-like eyes following the verbal volleys.

“It’s been several years,” he says stiffly. It’s the wrong thing to say when Prompto shoots upright, hands planted on the edge of Ignis’ desk, victory in every light and line of his body.

“So you have gone!”

Gladio is looking at Ignis like Ignis just did a backflip over his desk. Sometimes the prince and the Shield seem to forget that he does have a personal life outside of his professional one. It’s just that the lines between personal and professional are perpetually blurred, considering how much of his heart his comrades and his liege take up.

“Prompto, no.” Ignis uses the tone he usually uses to shut things down. It usually works. “I’m much too busy to take a weekend off for no other reason than you want an excuse to make me wear eyeliner.”

The silence that follows is weighted. Prompto blinks, and looks at Noctis, who gently palms his face as though he can’t bear to look at them. Gladio says, “You know your birthday is on Saturday, right, Specs?”

Ignis pauses. Glances down at his ever-present planner, open to the current month, and finds the unmarked date looming back at him.

“Ah,” he says.

“So, you realize you just rendered your entire argument obsolete now, and there's no way you're getting out of this?” Prompto asks gently.

“Yes, I realize that.”

Which is how Ignis finds himself at a club on Saturday, with Sunday off as well. Ignis has to wonder how in the hell his friends managed that, because he hasn’t had two consecutive days free in-- frankly, he doesn’t want to think how many years.

Prompto, at least, is in his element. He’s confident here the way he isn’t in most other places. The neon lights of the club wash over his pale skin and fair hair, turn him technicolor and violet-eyed, and he attracts more than one lingering look as he walks backwards toward the dance floor, fingers curled stubbornly in the belt loops of Ignis’ jeans to pull him along.

“Just one song,” Prompto shouts over the thumping bass, a beat Ignis can feel in the soles of his shoes. “No, two. Three.” He grins crookedly, at himself or at the two of them or at their friends drinking themselves stupid at the bar or at the ridiculousness of all of it combined.

He’s lovely, Ignis thinks, not for the first time. Vivid and wild when he forgets to box himself in. Built for movement, for action, a runner’s body and an artist’s core. His eyes are fixed points in the dark room, like a path for Ignis to follow through the gyrating crowd and dizzying music. His hands are a constant warmth, searing through the thin material of Ignis’ borrowed shirt.

And a strange shiver of delight shoots through Ignis’ stomach at their closeness, when Prompto presses in to say, “Dance with me, Iggy! It’s your birthday!”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Ignis says, and holds Prompto where he is, where there’s barely inches between them. “I’ll follow your lead.”

By the end of the night, Ignis’ feet are sore and his eyes feel bruised from the strobing lights and there’s a headache forming at his temples; but none of these things stop him from following Prompto’s gentle tug on his collar, and leaning in to kiss him while they wait for the valet to bring around the car.

“Thank the Six you’re so persistent,” he says. “I’d hate to have missed this.”

“I’d’ve gotten you one way or another,” Prompto assures him, grinning. Ignis believes him.

Noctis and Prompto are spinning around in circles on the dance floor, both of them turning thirty this year and behaving like the children they were when they first met. They haven’t knocked anyone else over, by the grace of Shiva, but it probably has more to do with the wide berth other dancers are giving them than their own observational skills.

“It’s nice to see the two of them behaving with the due dignity and decorum of their offices,” Ignis remarks mildly, setting aside his champagne.

Gladio claims the chair beside him, since most of the organized seating has gone out the window at this point in the evening, looking a happy mix of amused and proud. He’s a little pink from the alcohol, and his eyes are still a little puffy from his emotional speech at dinner. The glance Ignis gives him is unrelentingly fond. He figures he can get away with that today, of all days.

“This is the rest of your life,” the Shield says. “Aren’t you glad you signed up for this?”

“I signed up for this when I was six,” Ignis replies dryly. “Had I had any idea then what my future would look like, that might have influenced my decision.”

Gladio huffs out a laugh, not buying it. They’ve been friends for too long. “Yeah, influenced you to sign up faster. You wouldn’t trade a second of this for all the Michelin stars in the world. And that’s not what I was talking about.”

Ignis lets his eyes wander across the rolling garden. The lanterns and string lights are a warm glow, rocked gently by the summer breeze, and the clinking of cutlery and glasses is a pleasant backdrop, and the live band was replaced by an energetic DJ hours ago, a friend of Prompto’s from his favorite nightclub. The music is energetic, and the people on the dancefloor are having a good time, and Ignis has suddenly had quite enough of his cake and champagne.

He stands, folding his napkin over his plate politely.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he says, with playful severity, and heads away from one of his closest friends and towards the two of them currently making a nuisance of themselves among people too polite to say so.

“Specs!” Noctis cries gladly, without the good grace to look apologetic. He and Prompto both are shining with joy, they have been all night. “Here to steal your husband back?”

The word sends a thrill through him, and he smiles inwardly. What he says is, “Here to stop the two of you from mowing down everyone within a five foot radius, yes. Now hand him over.”

Prompto’s hair is a mess, and his tie is undone, and his suit jacket is gone to parts unknown and probably won’t ever be recovered, and Ignis has never loved anyone more.

“How much longer do we have the DJ?” Ignis asks against his hair. Prompto hums, muffled in Ignis’ chest.

“Ace’ll stay all night if I ask ‘im to. Why?”

“That’s how long I want to dance with you,” Ignis says.

Prompto looks up at him, eyes shining. “Everyone else’ll probably get bored and go home.”

“All the better,” Ignis says, and Prompto laughs, and they dance.

[sam-lives-story]

#SamLives - Chapter 8

“Bump In The Night”

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Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

October 24th, 2015

Jack had finished recording for the day, and he was more than ready to head to bed. A yawn escaped him and he stretched both arms over his head, arching his back against his desk chair. He felt a few joints pop as he did so. Oof…he’d been sitting for too long. Maybe it was time to invest in one of those standing desks…?

The Irishman stood and ruffled his hair - vibrant green, which was a very recent change for him - to try and get rid of the dent left by his headphones. He took his time in turning off his equipment and shutting everything down before leaving the room. It had been a good recording day. He’d managed to finish Fran Bow today as well, and holy hell if that hadn’t been a good game. He already knew he was going to miss playing it. A soft smile graced his features and he strolled down the hall toward the bathroom, scratching the back of his head. Yeah. Fran was fun. He hoped he got the chance to play another game he could do voices for. Maybe for Undertale? That was one he’d been looking at starting soon too…

A noise from his bedroom made him pause outside the open door, his eyes flicking between the bedroom’s handle and the closed bathroom door further down the hall. What was that…?

The noise didn’t repeat, so Jack ducked his head into his bedroom and turned on the light, frowning. Blue eyes searched the now-illuminated space…and…oh. He rolled his eyes. There was a pile of Sams that he usually kept at the corner of his dresser, stacked up in front of the mirror above his sock drawer. They were from fans, from his community, all sent to him from all over the world. It always made him smile to see them and it made him want more and more to try and go to a convention, so he could meet people face-to-face. He hadn’t been to many yet.

Anyway, he normally kept the Sam pile stacked on the corner of his dresser, but at the moment most of them were on the floor. Not that it surprised him. They were all round, so if one toppled, it was basically expected that a whole bunch of them would roll off the edge too. Ah well. Jack padded across the room in socked feet and crouched to pick them up, stacking them in his arms one by one, standing once he’d gather them all. He dumped them onto the dresser again with the intent of - maybe - straightening them in the morning. Then he turned to the door, ready to leave it at that.

Which he would have done…if it weren’t for the fact that he saw something move out of the corner of his eye.

Jack paused mid-step and glanced over his shoulder again, more tense than before. What was that? He narrowed his eyes at the pile of Sams…and that’s when he saw it. One of the Sams moved. Jack blinked and his breath hitched. What the hell…? He crouched in front of the dresser and he stared at the one he thought had moved. It was about the size of a normal eye, maybe a little bigger…and it was almost shiny. Not plush, like the rest.

Jack blinked.

Sam blinked back.

“fUCKIN’ JAYSUS–“

In his haste to scramble back from the dresser, Jack tripped over his own feet and ended up sprawling backwards across his bedroom floor. He shuffled backward until his back was pressed against the front of his nightstand with the knob from the drawer digging into his shoulder blade. What. The fuck. What the fuck. What the FUCK?!

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry—!”

Jack was breathing heavily and his eyes were wide as saucers…but the tiny, scared voice he heard in the back of his mind made him pause. It was unfamiliar yet familiar all at once, unknown but a friend. He swallowed thickly and sat up a little, shifting to his knees.

“…h-hello?”

A small squeak sounded from the other side of the room and Jack saw the Sam pile twitch. He took a deep breath. Jack had an odd feeling that he knew exactly what was going on, as ridiculous as it sounded in his head. This…this was absolutely impossible, but at the same time…it was the only thing that made sense. He stood up slowly.

“Sam?”

It felt stupid, saying it out loud. He was talking to a pile of plushies, why should he expect a response? But then…

“J-Jack?”

Jack took another, shaking breath and inched forward across the bedroom. Sam - real, living Sam - was sitting between a giant Sam plush the size of a basketball, and a few smaller ones that had been hand-knitted by fans. He was shaking where he sat, his optic nerve - tail? - curled around his front as if to protect himself. His eye - pupil? Iris? He was an eye - was wide and it was clear that he was scared, nervous.

Sam looked just as scared as Jack felt, if not more so.

“Y-Yeah,” Jack breathed, nodding. “Yeah. Jack, that’s…that’s me…” He took a few more steps closer to the dresser.

Sam squeaked again and wiggled backward across the dresser’s surface, only unable to go very far because of the giant plush behind him. Jack gasped softly and shook his head, a sudden protectiveness surging through him.

“No…no no no, it’s okay, I’m sorry!” He held up his hands and stopped right in front of the dresser. He crouched until he was more at eye-level - literally - with Sam. “Sorry buddy. Did I…scare ya?”

Sam blinked up at him - how the hell did he blink without having eyelids? - and seemed to nod. The little eyeball had yet to stop shaking. He stared at Jack for a long moment, neither of them saying a word, both of them watching the other. It was Sam who broke the silence.

“…not mad?”

Jack was still trying not to think too hard on the fact that he was hearing a voice in the back of his head and instead just shook his head, a soft smile playing across his lips.

“No, o’ course not,” he spoke softly. A quiet chuckle left him. “Why would I be mad?”

“You…shouted.” The words sounded whispered in the back of his mind and Sam hid behind his tail. Optic nerve? …tail. Jack decided it was a tail. Definitely. That made it cuter.

“Well ya did scare the ever-livin’ shite out o’ me,” Jack admitted with a sheepish smile. He rested his chin on his arms on the edge of the dresser. “Can’t say I’ve ever seen somethin’ like you before.” A pause. “…and I still can’t decide if I’m dreamin’ or not.”

A small, almost childlike giggle came to life in his mind and he couldn’t help the affectionate chuckle that left him at the sound. Sam peeked out from beneath his tail, his expression seeming more cheerful than before, if not a little nervous still. (How did an eyeball show emotions? It was so strange to watch…it was like his iris and pupil moved in a way that they shouldn’t, like they were his sole form of facial expression and they morphed to match his emotions. It was weird as fuck…and so damn cool.)

“If you’re dreaming then so am I,” Sam giggled. He seemed to slowly become more comfortable and he let his tail drop away from his ‘face’. Pupil? Iris.

“That’s exactly what dream-Sam would say,” Jack teased. Teasing and joking. His default.

While it wasn’t the best way to face a problem, it sure made him feel a hell of a lot more comfortable in the face of such an uncertain situation. He glanced toward the still-open door, then back to Sam. What would Sam do if he left to brush his teeth? Would he even still be here at all? Or would this all turn out to be some hallucination brought on my his sleep-deprived and caffeine-fueled state of mind…?

“Jack…?”

“Hm?” Jack blinked his thoughts away and dragged his eyes back to Sam, who kept glancing up at him and away again with a nervous look in his eye. “What’s up?”

“Can I…sleep with you, on the bed? I’m scared…”

And, shit, if that wasn’t the most adorable and precious thing he’d heard in his life. His heart melted and an adoring smile flickered to life on his face. Forget brushing his teeth. One night without clean teeth wouldn’t kill him.

“Of course you can,” Jack nodded, and after a moment’s uncertainty he reached toward Sam. The little eye shrank in on himself nervously, and Jack instantly paused in his motions. He thought about it…then he turned his hand over, palm up. And he waited. He didn’t move, didn’t breath. Sam eyed his hand with uncertainty at first. Jack could almost feel his apprehension, his nervousness…or maybe he really could feel it? It was the same feeling he got when Sam was talking to him, a little nudge in the back of his mind. Jack didn’t have long to ponder it however, because as soon as he felt it, it was gone again. Sam jumped lightly onto Jack’s palm - eyeballs could jump? Who knew? - and he wrapped his tail around one of Jack’s fingers, holding on.

Sam felt almost as one might expect a sentient eyeball to feel, Jack supposed. Smooth, almost soft. Not slimy though. Just…smooth. Like he was holding a baby. A very green, very tiny baby shaped like a ping pong ball.

…yeah, great metaphor Jack. You should definitely give up YouTube to become an author. Definitely.

But beyond that, Sam was surprisingly warm. It was almost comforting, and as Jack carefully carried the little eyeball over to his bed he couldn’t help but wonder why he had even been scared of the little guy in the first place. Come on, it was Sam he was talking about here. He’d never pictured Sam as anything other than friendly and sweet…so why would the real deal be any different?

Forget the fact that Sam shouldn’t even exist at all, because Jack was still wholly convinced that this was just a very realistic dream.

Resigning himself to sleeping in his t-shirt and boxers, Jack tipped Sam onto the other pillow and shucked off his jeans, slipping into bed and flicking off the lights. He felt Sam bounce across the covers a few times before snuggling in near his chest…and as Jack closed his eyes he could have sworn he heard the little eyeball purring.

What a weird dream.

When Jack awoke the next morning, it was to glass breaking somewhere in the apartment. He sat bolt-upright on the bed, eyes flying wide and pulse racing. What the hell…? His gaze flickered rapidly around the room, taking in the scene. The Sam pile on his dresser was still in disarray from last night, but a quick search of his bed didn’t offer him any proof that Sam himself had ever been there. The little eyeball was gone, and for a brief, relieving moment Jack could almost convince himself that it had all been a very realistic, very strange dream.

Almost.

Except for the fact that not too long after he had been awoken by shattering glass, a small, distant voice had started murmuring in the back of his mind in a quick, panicked tone.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no…!”

Jack swallowed thickly. Either this was a very long and very convincing dream…or what he had witnessed last night had been far from fiction. His eyes fell on the barely-opened bedroom door and they remained there, locked on the sliver of light between door and frame. Wake up. Wake up, Jack. He had to wake up…

The Irishman reached across his own body with a shaking hand to pinch at his arm.

The fact that he could feel the pain from it didn’t lessen his fears whatsoever.

Jack took one breath, then another. Sam’s voice in the back of his head was still distant and equally panicked. Obviously something had happened out there…so Jack dragged himself out of bed and shuffled across the bedroom to figure out what had been broken. It was more of an afterthought than anything else that had him stepping into his slippers. Just in case. The hallway beyond his bedroom was illuminated by white ceiling lights, lights that he only now realized he had never turned off last night. He made his way down the hall and turned left at the door to his recording room, passing it by in favor of heading toward the main part of the apartment. The hallway opened out into the living room, and beyond that was a half-wall and a doorway that led to the kitchen.

The kitchen. That’s where Sam’s voice was coming from, Jack realized, because as he drew closer to the doorway the small voice in the back of his head grew slowly in volume, just like it would if Sam had been speaking aloud. God, this was still so strange…

“Sam?”

A squeak sounded from somewhere in the kitchen - an actual squeak, not one in his mind - and Jack ducked through the doorway, looking around. Broken glass sparkled against the edge of the counter and the kitchen floor, the remains of what Jack could easily make out as a glass from the cupboard above the counter. Blue eyes raised slowly until he spotted Sam.

The little eyeball was hiding just barely out of sight on the bottom shelf of the cupboard, his tail tucked around himself and his entire being shaking. He had his eye closed tightly and he looked so very scared. Jack didn’t say anything for a moment.

“…Sam? What happened? You okay, buddy?”

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry–”

“Hey, woah, Sam. Calm down!” Jack stepped carefully over the majority of the glass and reached up, gently lifting Sam out of the cupboard and cradling the little eyeball close to his chest. It was almost automatic, but at the same time he was a little nervous. He didn’t know how to handle the little guy just yet. How gentle did he have to be? Would he hurt Sam if he wasn’t careful? Sam squeaked at being picked up, but he didn’t seem hurt. Just…scared. He buried his ‘face’ into the blue and grey fabric of Jack’s t-shirt, hiding.

“What th’ hell were you tryin’ to do?” Jack asked, glancing at what remained of his glassware. “Those things are heavy for ya. You could’ve gotten hurt!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…d-didn’t mean to break it…just wanted water…”

“Nah, it’s fine, I have more glasses. But you – wait. Water?” Jack asked stupidly. He stared down at Sam’s shaking form for a moment. “Ye mean…to drink?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But you don’t have a mouth.”

The words sounded idiotic leaving his mouth. But really, could you blame him? How the hell did an eyeball drink water?

“I don’t…um…need a mouth.”

“…uh…” Jack blinked blankly at Sam, then sighed. Okay. Sure. Whatever. Sam existed, and that was insane, so why the hell would he need a mouth? He didn’t need a mouth to talk, he’d made that quite apparent already. “…yeah, sure. Hang on…”

Jack reached up into the cupboard and pushed a few things aside, pulling out a small plastic bowl instead. Just in case. He filled it most of the way one-handedly and stepped over the broken glass again, sitting the bowl down on a part of the counter that wasn’t littered with sparkling debris. Sam perked up and shifted in Jack’s hold, peering over the edge of Jack’s hand with a wide eye. He looked back at Jack with something akin to wonder in his gaze, as though Jack helping him was an absolutely magical moment.

“Thank you!”

If Jack hadn’t already fallen into total adoration when it came to his odd little eyeball son, those two words would have finally tipped him over the edge. He chuckled and carefully set Sam on the counter beside the bowl.

“‘Course, bud. No problem.” He smiled softly. “Now stay away from the broken glass, alright? I’ll get it all cleaned up. Don’t want ya hurtin’ yourself, right?”

Sam giggled. Cute kid.

The glass didn’t take long to clean up, not really. It was only a cup. Jack figured Sam had been trying to get it out of the cupboard and it had fallen. How he had even gotten up there was a mystery to Jack, but he could ask about that later. For now he was still processing the fact that Sam was definitely very real, and definitely sitting two feet away on his kitchen counter. Jack leaned the broom against his sink and let his eyes linger on Sam for a moment, the little eyeball splashing happily in the plastic bowl.

How was it possible that Sam even existed? Sam was a fictional character, an imaginary, personified version of his own infected eye from childhood. Sam wasn’t even named until after Jack had been doing YouTube for a few years. It was realistically impossible.

Sam wiggled in the bowl, and Jack now realized that half the water was gone from the container. How…? He paid more attention, and this time he noticed that every so often Sam would close his eye and it looked almost like the little eyeball was taking a breath…then the water would go down a little bit.

“How’re you doin’ that?” he asked, more bluntly than he meant to. Sam blinked his eye open and spun around in the water to look up at Jack.

“Doing what?”

“Drinking…sorta.”

“Oh, um…” Sam blinked and looked down at the water he was sitting in. He was quiet for a moment, thinking, then he looked back up at Jack. “I don’t really know. Kinda like…um…a sponge, I think?”

“A sponge.” A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. “Maybe your name should’ve been Sam Septicsponge instead.”

Sam giggled in the back of Jack’s mind and the YouTuber found himself chuckling as well despite himself. A sponge. So Sam basically absorbed water in order to drink it. That was so fucking cool…and so fucking weird.

It was official. He was gonna need coffee for this.

Oddly enough, going about his usual morning routine with Sam around…wasn’t that strange or different. He made his coffee and some breakfast and sat down to watch some television, all the while thumbing through his social media to catch up on what he’d missed while he was asleep. Sam had hopped up onto his shoulder to go along with him when he left the kitchen, and the little eyeball just ended up curled up on the couch beside Jack while he ate his food. At one point a single Cheerio fell off his spoon onto the tabletop and Sam had perked up, curiosity getting the best of him as he bounced up onto the table. He poked at it with his tail and rolled around it, eyeing it from all sides, then Jack watched in odd fascination while Sam “ate” it. The little eyeball got right up close to the piece of cereal and rolled over it, and it sort of…disintegrated and faded into the green surface of Sam’s…eye. And it was gone. Eaten, apparently.

Jack had to force himself to stop staring after that happened.

Recording was almost the same as before, except now there was a green eyeball sitting on his desk beside his keyboard and beside another fan-made version of Sam that he kept there for fun. Jack had to work a little harder than usual to keep his focus on the game in front of him, especially when he was hearing occasional reactions from Sam in the back of his head. At first he was almost worried that people would suspect something was up, that he wasn’t quite as into his recording as usual…but he brushed it off. It was Trollface Quest. It was a goofy little game, and if anybody did think he was acting out of the ordinary, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, would it?

At some point between recording Trollface Quest and starting up Undertale for the first time, Jack noticed a bit of silence in the room that hadn’t been there before. It took him a moment to realize what the difference was.

Sam. Sam was fast asleep on the corner of the desk, his tail curled around him and his eye closed. Despite himself, Jack felt a small, affectionate smile find its way to his face.

At the start of all of this - in the moment of panic last night, when Jack had seen Sam come to life for the first time - he had been so scared, so panicked. So downright terrified. But now, only half a day later…he was beginning to think that he shouldn’t let himself worry. He shouldn’t let himself be so frightened. This was Sam, after all. Sam, who he had created himself…Sam, who he had always pictured to be a friend of his. Sam wouldn’t hurt him. He never could. The poor little guy had been so scared when he’d first shown up too, as though he thought Jack might throw him out or try to get rid of him. And he was depending on Jack, now.

Having Sam in his life, Jack realized, would be a lot like having a pet, and a lot like having a kid. Sam felt like something in-between the two. A familiar, his mind supplied. A friend he could count on no matter what.

Jack took off his headphones and stood up from his seat, slipped around the blue curtain he had hung up for recording and crossed the room. He picked up the shirt that was still lying there in a crumpled heap from - what - two days ago? - and brought it back to the desk. It only took him a few seconds to wad it up into something akin to a nest, and when he moved Sam off of the hard desk surface and onto the more comfortable bundle of fabric, he heard Sam let out a little contented sigh in the back of his mind.

Yeah…yeah, this could work. This could be really, really good for him, for both of them.

Five minutes later found Jack with his headphones on and his recording in progress, and when the screen appeared for him to name his character in Undertale, he only had to glance at the little nest on the corner of his desk to know what name he would choose.

‘Sam.’

Present Day

Outside the cafe, Jack hit ‘end’ on his phone screen and tucked it into his pocket with a shaking hand, having just finished his call with his mother. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes, focussing on the feeling of Sam’s tail brushing against his fingers from inside his hoodie pocket, focussing on his calming connection in the back of his mind. Sam had been a constant in his life for going on two years now. The thought that the same thing that brought something so pure and happy into his life, could also create something as horrible as Anti…? He shuddered and pushed the thought away. Sam was different. Sam was his friend, his companion. Sam was family.

The Irishman collected himself and stepped back into the cafe, his eyes already seeking out Mark at their table. The other YouTuber looked up from Tim’s pet carrier the moment he saw Jack approaching.

“Want me to hold onto your phone still?”

“…y-yeah. Yeah, actually…that…thanks…” Jack couldn’t get the phone out of his hand quick enough. His breathing and heart rate only began to settle back down to normal once the device was out of sight in Mark’s pocket. He closed his eyes and his free hand tightened into a fist against the tabletop.

“Take a breath, Seán,” Mark said calmly, evenly, a smile in his words. “You did good. How’s your mom?”

“She’s–” Jack broke off and forced himself to breath. Just...breath. Ma. Think about her, not about– “Sh-She’s…” He cleared his throat, forced his fist to uncurl. The action made him wince, his neck still sore from what Anti had– “...she’s good. I told her I missed her, told her to say hi ta Gizmo for me.”

“Did you tell her what happened?”

“Eh…” Jack shrugged sheepishly. “Not...exactly. She hasn’t seen the stream, an’ I warned her not to watch it. I don’t want her seein’ that. She doesn’t watch my videos anyway, but still. Better ta warn her away. An’ it’s not like...not like I can jus’ tell her about my evil alter-ego. I doubt she’d believe me anyway.” A mirthless huff of laughter escaped him. “A few years ago, if anyone had told me I’d be in this situation...shite. I’d call ‘em mad...but I s’ppose after Sam...it’s easier to believe impossible things now, yeah?” He chuckled weakly, and Mark let out a knowing hum.

“Mhm...yeah, I guess so.” A pause. “Have you talked to Robin?”

Jack’s head jerked up, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Not since before the–” The stream. He cleared his throat with a wince. If Mark was suggesting he make another phone call...frankly, he wasn’t sure he had that in him today. “...d-didn’t you talk to him?”

“Well yeah,” Mark nodded, shrugging as he slipped some crackers to Tim. He glanced up to Jack again with a gently pointed look. “But I didn’t tell him the details of what happened, remember? I didn’t tell him what’s really been going on. I think you should do that yourself.”

Jack swallowed, the action catching on a lump in his throat. Tell...Robin? Well, sure, Robin needed to know eventually but...but couldn’t it wait? Or...or better yet, couldn’t Robin just figure it out from the clip on the stream? Or twitter posts, or YouTube comments, or - or–

“You do know you eventually have to tell him everything that’s been happening, right?” Mark’s voice cut through some of his rapidfire thoughts, and Jack flicked his eyes upward toward his friend for the briefest of moments before fixating on the tabletop. “And I mean everything. He’s your closest friend on this side of the world, and your editor. Might not be my place to say so, but he deserves to hear the full truth from you , not draw conclusions from some fanpost on Twitter...or secondhand rumors from another YouTuber.”

“I know,” Jack nodded stiffly, running his free hand through his already-unruly hair while his other continued to seek comfort from just knowing Sam was nearby. The eyeball nuzzled up against his palm inside the hoodie pocket. “I know, I know he does, I know I should tell ‘im but…” He made a pained expression and his fingertips ghosted across the bruised skin of his neck. “...but how do I…how do I explain any of this? How do I apologize for lyin’ to him and hiding all this from him? I...I trusted him with Sam, I should have trusted him with this. And - and - and beyond that–”

It was more than just keeping secrets from his friend. It was more than just not wanting to use his phone right now. It was more than that, because the mere thought of having to explain everything...of having to verbally repeat what had happened in his recording room, what had been happening for weeks...it felt like he would be reliving the moment again. He’d been trying so hard to avoid even thinking about what had happened in too much detail. Explaining all of it, everything, to Robin–

The Irishman’s thoughts were a loud and frantic blur, a quiet panic settling into his chest, just like it had that morning when Mark had brought up the events of the stream. His knee was bouncing beneath the table and his hand - the one not fixated on keeping contact with Sam - had found an imperfection in the table’s surface, his fingers fidgeting and his nails picking at the odd little crack there.

“...beyond that,” he continued hoarsely, “how do I tell him my evil alter-ego came to life and attempted to...to k-kill me, live on camera in front of thousands of people? How do I explain that? How do I – god, the reason I hid it from him in the f-first place, was ‘cause tellin’ somebody else what was h-happening would...it would’ve made it so much more r-real. But then - then the stream happened, and...fuck, Mark. How do I–”

Jack’s voice broke and he ducked his head, fighting back tears he didn’t know were welling in his eyes. He heard Mark’s chair scuff against the cafe floor and felt a warm presence near his right side. He didn’t dare look up.

“I won’t make you tell Robin the truth if you really don’t want to,” Mark told him, and Jack saw the taller man crouch down beside his chair out of the corner of his eye. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. “But you should try. Maybe not right now, but soon. Robin should be in the loop about all this. I mean, c’mon man, if I tried to keep something like this from Amy or Kathryn - shit. I don’t think I could do it.” It was quiet for a moment, and Jack was vaguely aware of the fact that many people had left since he’d gone out to make his phone call. “I can try and help explain it to him if you want. I’m literally going through the exact same bullshit right now. Minus the attempts on my life, but you know what I mean.”

“You’d do that?” Jack asked, glancing to the side to catch Mark’s gaze. The American’s expression was warm and reassuring, just like his tone of voice, and Jack couldn’t help but feel at least a little hopeful thanks to his friend. Mark smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the motion.

“Hell yeah I’d do that,” Mark nodded. “But you’ve gotta promise me something.”

“What?”

“I wanna see Sam fly.”

And Jack was giggling, the laughter echoed by Sam in the back of his mind. Leave it to Mark to turn a serious situation into something funny and lighthearted.

“Heh...sure. It’s a deal.”

[A/N] So…how about them Egos, huh? ^^ Dude Jack has been going NUTS with the videos recently! I’m happy to see both him and Robin having so much fun with the new, creative content. Good for them! On another note, apologies that this took so long to get out! I had this chapter written a week and a half ago and I honestly forgot to post it. So here! But just a note, future updates WILL be slow. The first few were out with only a day between them, but it’s harder to find time to write now. I’m not giving up on this though! I have ideas! Just you wait and see! <3

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

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[kewltie]

pls pls, gimme courtesan!deku set in edo period. 

where deku’s family has been serving bakugou house for generations and they grew up side by side but an accident took inko’s life and had deku sold into a pleasure house. the childhood friends were then separated but never forgot each other even as deku grew up and is train to be courtesan. 

deku never truly accepted his fate and is always dreaming of a world beyond the gates of this ‘floating city’ where he can never step out of it again. now, his life is in the hand of those who buy and barter his body... but deku is also a terribly BAD courtesan bc he is just really clumsy, awkward and bad at the whole subtle seduction thing. when he started training and learning the arts of the courtesan everybody realize how hopeless he is and normally that mean they would have drop him from the training but he work so hard on it bc even when he doesn’t want this fate deku can see the value and effort of these men and women who make a good thing out of bad position and they have a strong sense of pride in their job even as society dismissed them for their occupation. these people of the pleasure house (from the owner, the servants, and the other courtesans) become a sort of make shift family for deku and he loves them so much and wants to make them proud bc they could have dropped him anytime and sell him somewhere else bc he’s SO BAD GUYS SOOOO BAD AT THIS. but they love his kind heart and this shy kid who is so determine and stubborn that they knew they couldn’t give him away. 

SO YEA HE SET HIS SIGHT ON BEING THE BEST COURTESAN EVER FOR HIS ‘FAMILY’ W/O ACTUALLY WANTING HAVING TO ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH PPL which his master (the one who is training him and also the number one in their pleasure house) is like LOL cute, BUT YOU WISH KID. his master is always constantly worry about him bc how is he going to fare in this super competitive and harsh reality of the courtesan’s world if he refuse to take a costumer for the night but as he grew older and into himself, surprisingly he got a lot of suitors bc for all his terrible efforts at being the best courtesan (lacking all the grace, skills, and finesse of the job) his quiet sincerity and warm heart won a lot of people over. so 6 months before deku’s official debut as a courtesan which mean deku is going to have to take customers (which he had been dreading) and someone is going to buy his official first night. 

during this time that deku is training to be a courtesan, bakugou had been searching for deku for a long looooong time, never forgetting the boy with the green eyes. so bakugou is the heir to his clan, a daimyos house that is only second to the shogun in military power, prestige, and wealth. he’s loud and abrasive but man does he get shit done and is always fighting with the shogun’s son (todoroki). he is part of the new generation of kids of important figures who are going to reshape japan and as one of the powerhouses that everyone recognize ppl have huge expectations for him so when the rumor of the son of the bakugou clan became smitten with an insignificant courtesan the entirety of the city is in an uproar. 

so bakugou never visit the pleasure quarter bc he’s literally to busy rearranging the political landscape of edo (the old generation are traditional and want to keep it as it is while bakugou and his group of allies want changes and kick the old guard out), for his birthday they dragged him to to pleasure quarter for the first time and that’s where he bump into deku again. even all these years that they haven’t met as soon as red and green eyes meet, they instantly recognized each other. to bakugou’s horror the clumsy and useless childhood friend of his is a courtesan in training and much to deku’s eternal embarrassment he doesn’t want to face bakugou like this SO HE RAN.  

bakugou eventually find him again in his pleasure house but bc deku is still a trainee he can’t ask for deku personally so he pay for deku’s master instead so deku HAS TO BE THERE. and the first time they actually meet deku is so frustrated with tears by all bakugou’s effort to see him bc he wants bakugou to forget about him cuz he’s going to debut soon and he can’t have any past attachments, that he punch bakugou in the face when bakugou started yelling at him for running away DESPITE THEM MEETING AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 YEARS. 

which hilariously freak deku’s master out bc deku just punched the future head of the bakugou’s clan and the man who will become 2nd to the shogun. it did not calm deku’s master down when bakugou rises up and tackles deku to the floor and the next thing everyone see is the two of them wrestling like children until people start to pry them apart. the owner was told about all the commotions and came to apologize and about to send deku away bc obviously deku was the source of all the problem but bakugou level the owner a glare so ruthless it could cut a man down more than half his size. “if you dare touch deku and remove him from my side, i’ll rip this place to it bare bones to find him.” which is a dedication as any. 

deku’s master is number one oiran in their house for a reason and told everyone to leave so the two can have a conversation in private which is never given bc bakugou is a costumer and deku is still a trainee and he’s NOT SUPPOSE TO BE ALONE W/ ANYONE let alone w/ a costumer. but everyone understood that this is important to deku so they let him have it. 

with that time and space they managed to talk about their lost time and how deku got where he is now. deku admits that this isn’t the world he had dream of but he’s happy here with the ppl loves and cares for him and that they are his family now so bakugou doesn’t have to worry anymore he’s fine so bakugou can let him go now. bakugou is silent and eventually depart with the promise of coming back again to visit much to deku’s surprise???? he honestly thought that was the end of it bc bakugou had found him and know that deku is fine so why does he continue to be bother with deku anymore???!!! 

so bakugou keep on going back to the pleasure quarter to visit deku and deku’s master play the interim by being the courtesan that bakugou’s request so he can see and talk to deku. the months come fast and hard and bakugou and deku slowly rebuilt their friendship till maybe something more but this also mean deku’s debut is coming closer and closer and deku will have to spend the night with someone. so even though deku’s heart belong to someone else he is going to give his body to another and that break his heart. he keeps it quiet and doesn’t tell bakugou so when his debut arrived and his pleasure house got a lot of efforts but with the help of his master, deku is guarantee to have a familiar face for his first night bc his master had arranged one of his regular customers to buy deku’s first night. this customer is someone deku had seen often enough while serving his master and they built a camaraderie b/t them that deku thinks he doesn’t mind it so much bc at least he knows the man will be gentle and kind to deku. 

so when the night of his debut came, deku is mentally and emotionally prepare for it but also dreading it bc the one person he wanted isn’t beyond these doors. when he first step through and doesn’t see the face of the costumer his master had arranged but it turned out to be bakugou he is so shocked that he dropped to floors and cried. “hey, you’re going to ruin your make up and your master will yell at me for making you cry again,” bakugou murmurs as he crouch down next to deku’s trembling form. 

apparently all of this was secretly arranged by the owner and deku’s master bc they love him so MUCH and was prepare to take a dent in payment if it mean deku was happy but bakugou had no qualm about throwing a fuckton of money buy deku’s first night. 

“why are you here?” deku asks, once he’d stopped crying. 

“bc if i didn’t pay for you nobody else would,” he grumbles as though DEKU IS HUGELY UNPOPULAR (which is a lie, there were a lot of offers but bakugou beat them to it lol). 

anyway, they are still navigating the minefield of their feelings for each other so deku’s first night as an official courtesan??? THEY PLAYED CARDS AND GO ALL NIGHT LONG bc bakugou knows their first time won’t be force like this where deku’s emotion run high and he’s still a nervous wreck about it. 

so from then on deku became a courtesan and is allow to take costumers now but!!! bakugou never let that happen. incidentally deku became the number 1 courtesan in his pleasure house after his master retire solely on the fact that of all the money bakugou invested in keeping deku from other costumers lololol. he quickly rises in rank in the pleasure quarter bc of it and became famous as the oiran exclusively owned is by the bakugou katsuki. 

bakugou keep going to pleasure quarter to visit deku and since he can’t always leave his job behind he often bring his work when he’s spending a time or night w/ deku. which means deku become privy to the politics of the imperial court, underground rebellion against the shogun, and missions bakugou has to undertake and in doing so deku offer his advice and insight for bakugou which HELPS him tremendously bc deku spent more than half his life in this pleasure quarter so he knows all the best gossip and piece of information that flow in and out of the pleasure house and has all the shady connections bc how much ppl in there adore and are friendly to him. outside the pleasure quarter bakugou may be some one of import but here in this ‘floating city of hedonstice sins’ deku reigns supreme. 

idk what happen next but im assuming that bakugou despite many LOUD protests from his inner family decide to buy deku out of his pleasure house and bring him outside where he hadn’t step foot in for a looooooong long time, bringing deku’s connections and knowledge of the seedy underbelly of edo with hi. bakugou eventually take him as spouse after a lot of trials and hurdles bc YOU CAN’T MARRY A FORMER PROSTITUTE WHICH BAKUGOU DISAGREE BC HE CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK HE EVER WANTS AND ALSO DEKU HAD ONLY TAKEN ONE COSTUMER ALL HIS ENTIRE LIFE AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO AS LONG AS BAKUGOU’S BREATHING. 

so this is the story of how a prostitute became the spouse of one of the greatest figures of japan and the close personal friend of the emperor (i also assume deku wold eventually meet todoroki and they get along like a house on fire that bakugou get so pissed whenever he has to think about it lol). 

[thestalkerbunny]

"I think what I miss most of all.....is..Sugar" Marnie had said finally after what felt like hours of contemplation of the question.

The rest of the group nodded solemly. For the past 5 weeks-or what their wrist pads assumed was 5 weeks-they had been surviving solely on M.R.E Packets. The food was bland, tasteless-but assured to give them the recommended nutrients to survive. And sadly, there had been more and more of the M.R.E.s to go around. What started as a group of 20 strong had been cut down to 5. The trechrous terrain, the frequent intense quakes that took place practically on clockwork-some times just spontanious. The lack of shelter, the heat in the mornings, the freezing cold at night, it had picked them off one by one.

"I think you need to be more specific." Adra mused, placing her chin on a hand. "Like, there's so many kinds of sugars. Chocolates, fruit candies, carmels, licorices-"

"Nobody likes Licorices, Adra." Tia snapped, still in a foul mood. She had slipped early that morning and twisted her leg. She still sat there, letting her food go cold as she tried to use the scraps of medical supplies they had left to make sure her leg didn't get anyworse. Adra scowled at Tia in distain

"The cherry ones are good. The kind you pull apart in strands? The Black stuff can go off and die." Adra tried to defend herself. Tia muttered something and went back to her leg. Marnie stirred the greyish brown glop around for a minute in it's vacum sealed package.

"I just miss sugar in general. I remember Vannie-do you remember Vannie? She'd work in the cafeterias at the academy. And every now and then, when we got Sugar in, she'd give me a little bit extra. I dont know why. Maybe it was because I didn't complain or bitch about her cooking. "Marnie dared once again to put more of the M.R.E into her mouth, gagging as it slid down. "Anything honestly tastes better than these things."

"Didn't Vannie die before we left?" Adra asked quietly. Marnie bit her lip, regretting sharing her fondness. It had become a habit of Adra to recall bitter awful events. There had been contaimination out breaks more and more frequently before the mission had been launched. Those who had ventured outside became contaminated with a white pollen that smelt so sweet like the Sugar they all longed for. And it dragged whoever touched down a dark cold path into death. "They found her in the kitchen. She cut off her hands."

"Y...yeah." Tia muttered. "Vannie....Vannie was one of the good ones. She didn't deserve to die like that."

The silence took the group again, the 5 of them quietly watching the fire crackle and flick agaisnt the obsidion landscape. No dirt to press hands into, no grass, not even a soft breeze to blow against the carapace of their suits. Even the sky was empty and starless. It was like being in a giant black hole. Mix's head laid on Adra's lap, quietly and fitfully sleeping. It had been a long hard day for them all, more so on Mix. Mix's own sister, slipped and fell off the cliff side-hours before they set up camp for the night. The minute they set the fire up, she laid down and went to sleep-hoping to escape the sorrow she was feeling in the waking hours that was her new reality.

"Nobody deserves to die like that." Yi finally stated. The 4 looked at the commander, the leader of this mission. She had a face that took great effort to look at-let alone love. She was covered in scars from foolish errors and mistakes that were not repeated to scars of bravery. One eye didn't work, the eyelid sealed up with stitching, claw marks decorating it. "And that's what this mission is for. To make sure none of us have to venture out while that contaimination is still surrounding our colony." The group nodded in affermation.

The Mission. With the contamination surrounding their colony of only a few generations old-everything was at risk. The inhabitants were starving, babies where weeping and crying to be fed, tensions were rising among the ranks from soilders to commanders. Everyone was turning against each other out of pure starvation. It was the portal that was their saving grace. It appeared in short sparatic periods during the day, appearing for long swaths of time at night. On the rarest occasion it spat out nutrients that kept everyone calm. Not big chunks, but small tidbits, like a stingy ungrateful god. It was something to keep them satisfied, but it was never enough.

Tia, Adra, Marnie, and Mix had been hand picked into the group of 20 to go on this mission by Yi herself. Tia, a member of the enhanced solidjer training program, Adra who had been one of the surviving scientists that came, Mix the scout, Yi their commander and Marnie the Linguistics and historical artifaces expert. All that was left after 16 deaths of friends and comrades since they entered this damned portal in the hopes of finding the source.

"Look. It's a long day tomarrow. We make the home stretch." Yi rolled out the map that their cartographer, Stevie, prior to her being taken by the heat, had made. Yi had taken up the mantel and was filling it in as they went. "Stevie and Yonie said that according to the mineral trail and the carbon they found on the nutrients that came thru the portal it's less than a few more hours away. We make it to the source, we take what we can and we get out. We've lost too many good women on this venture. I dont want anyone else lost." Yi's one good eye cast over her few remaining crew members. "I want everyone of you to be careful. And I'm not saying this to be a nag. " Tia rolled her eyes as Adra nodded solemly. "Marnie are you listening to me?" Marnie had been sitting there silently as Yi spoke, tearing a part the reminants of her M.R.E. Package into small shreds.

"hmn." She looked up. Yi's one good eye stared intently at her. "I'll be careful, Yi. I was listening." Yi turned away from the artifacer.

"Good. I want you all to get some good sleep tonight. We need all the strength we can muster to make it tomarrow." Yi watched quietly as her girls laid down one by one. Tia made her place a bit farther off from the others-her training demanding isolation to assure her strength. Adra gently laid down Mix on the group, Mix fitfully turning over. Adra sighed and submitted and curled up against Mix, acting as a teddy bear in place of a twin sister who dutifully was always by Mix's side. Marnie shuffled and prepared to settle in for the night.

Marnie had only been asleep for maybe less than an hour before she felt something shake her awake.

"Hmnn? wazut-"A hand shoved against Marnie's mouth. Yi placed a finger, shushing her to silence. "Yi??" Marnie wheezed quietly. "Yi what's wrong?"

"Nothiing, I just wanna show you something" Yi whispered. She pulled Marnie up off the ground. "This way, Marnie." Marnie stumbled as her commander tugged her hand along. Yi led Marnie down thru the blackness for the longest time. Marnie was still blinking, trying figure out if this was just another stress induced dream brougth on by the mission and the M.R.E's mixing in her stomach poorly. Yi finallly stopped pullnig her along, stopping before a slate against the black void wall. Marnie took a tenative step forward, her hands covering her half agape mouth.

"My god, Yi-it's.....it's so beautiful." Marnie whimpered. "I....I think im going to cry." She rushed to the slab running her hands over the sleek surface and the indented ruins, the massive holes along the horizontal side. "Look at this thing, it's HUGE! How long do you think it too them to carve this? And look at these massive holes-the edges are so clean and sharp it's like they were PUNCTURED! And the paint-oh god the paints!" She flinched as she ran her fingers along the marks and runes that ached to be dechipered and decoded. "Yi, this is the best thing I've seen this entire TRIP! I gotta take pictures I can spend the whole trip decoding it, this is thing could tell us what the beings of this world had been like-are like?! I DON'T even KNOW! I thought this entire plane of reality was empty and abandoned, but this is proof that some sort of life has been here and left it's mark! I-" Marnie stopped her excited chatter as she felt Yi take her hands again. Marnie looked up at her commander. So rarely did Yi smile, back home and on this mission. But she smiled at Marnie.

"I'm glad your happy." Yi said quietly, running her thumbs over the palms of Marnie's unscarred hands. "It's....so nice to see you smile again."

"Ptthph-what are you talking about, Yi, I smile."

"Not since we left. You were so excited to come on this trip and you seemed to dissapointed the closer and closer we got to our destination. You never found anything along the way." Yi let go Marnie's hand and placed her palm against Marnie's cheek. Marnie pressed the hand against her cheek wit her hand, feeling the scarred skin of her commander. She closed her eyes briefly, in bliss. "So every chance I got, I went out looking for something, anything really-any sign that there was life at one point. And I found this thing. An-and I dont know what it is or what it means, but you probably would." Marnie looked up at Yi who immediately turned a bright red color.

"Yi, this means the literal world to me. You can be.....really sweet. When you're not stressing over the well being of others to the point of exhaustion." Marnie leaned up on her toe tips and lightly pressed her lips against Yi's tattered scarred ones. "And you know what." Marnie whispered after breaking the chaste kiss. "You mean the world to me too. So I want you to be careful tomarrow, too. You said you dont wanna lose the rest of us....well.....I dont wanna lose you. I'd rather come home with nothing and you alive than to come home with everything but lose you."

Yi made a sharp tittery noise a cross between an akward giggle and her weak attempt at clearing her throat. "oh uh-well then. If-if you say so." Marnie pulled away and pulled up her camera off her wrist pad and began to immediately clicking picutres of the slab as her commander waited for her to finish, still giggling and tittering quietly to herself.

-

The minute day broke, they left the encampment. It didn't take long for their remaining memebers of the mission to catch on how insufferably hot it got during the day. Sometimes the pitch black scaled ground burned to the touch. They were making double time, the few perks of suddenly going from a group of 20 to a simple set of 5 in only the span of a few days. Yi and Tia led up in front as Mix and Adra tailed in the middle. Marnie kept lingereing back behind, still trying to study the pictures on her wrist pad, running to catch up and make sure she wasn't left behind.

"Come on, Marnie, KEEP UP! Or we're leaving you on this black shit stain of a plane of reality." Tia snapped angrily. Marnie snapped to attention again, scowling at Tia's scolding. The super soilder program had it's perks, but Tia just seemed angry all the time.

The blackened plains gave way to a vast silver smooth surface eventually that shone and blinded them in the sunlight. In the far distance, there seemed to be giant pillars that reached twords the heavens and a swirling black storm that surrounded them, crackling with electricty and life.

"It's like it's made of solid mercury." Mix whispered softly, sheilding her eyes from the reflection. Adra tapped away at the Wrist Pad.

"The Chemical count in the air says it's at least 70% plastics. It seems solid and safe to walk on."

"Is it though?" Tia growled, tapping the edge of the silver with her boot tip. "70% isn't a lot. Look, follow in direct line after me, step where I step. MARNIE, PAY THE ATTENTION"

Marnie jerked back up out of her daze. She had been staring at the storm high above in the distance, looming and encircling their destination. Something about the way the clouds moved mesmeriszed her so much that she was almost stuck in a trance.

"YEa-YEAh." She studdered. "Follow you, step where you step." Tia's glare lingered for a long while before turning to the horizon ahead. Tia immediately slipped and stumbled after the first 3 steps, her boots unused to the slick smooth texture of the silver ground below making her look like a new born baby deer learning how to walk. Mix laughed, the noise startling the party at first. It had been weeks since they heard anyone make a remotely positive happy sound since this started. Tia snarled and found her footing.

"Alright, alright, laugh it up. Come on we're burning daylight."

The procession began their cautious treck twords the pillars, only slipping once in a while against the ground. It felt like ages, time passing so slowly. The air grew cold and stale after awhile, the heat giving away to a coldness that the group had never truely felt before.

It was then when Adra's body began to shut down.

It started with a slip here and there, Marnie running back to help her up. And then it turned to a stumble. Then into Adra barely making a few feet ahead at a time. The Mission had been running her ragged, every waking hour she had spent trying to analyze the plane, she was running on fumes and what remained of her hopes and dreams. She eventually submitted to riding on Tia's back. It was when they were only a few hundred feet away that Tia suddenly stopped in her tracks, frozen in place for several minutes.

"Captain Tia, what's wrong?" Yi demanded. "Why have you stopped?" Marnie watched as Tia slowly swallowed and took a very slow breath.

".......Dr. Adra........Has......left us."Tia whispered slowly.

"What?" Mix quivered softly. Tia shrugged Adra off her shoulders and laid her on the ground. She looked like she was asleep, something she truely deserved. There were still dark rings around her eyes and her face was so hollow. Tia got down on her knees and placed an ear against Adra's chest.

"She's gone." Tia murmered quietly. "I felt her stop breathing. No....no gasping. No sudden movement. She just slipped away while she was sleeping." Mix crumbled to her knees and began to obsessively shake Adra's unmoving form.

"No- NO. ADRA. ADRA WAKE UP! PLEASE ADRA. ADRA-ADRA-" She began to hysterically scream. Yi and Marnie watched as Tia pulled back her hand and struck Mix clean across the face.

"GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, SCOUT." She practically had to scream over Adra's wails of pain and misery. Tia grabbed Mix by the shoulders and began to violently shake her "She's GONE. SHE'S DEAD. SHE ISN'T COMING BACK."

"Captain." Yi snapped. Tia pulled back immediately away from Mix who immediately threw herself back over Adra's now cooling body, sobbing into her friend's shoulders. Yi turned her attention to Mix. "Private Mix, we have to keep going. We will have time to mourn for Dr. Adra later. Right now, we are so close to completeing our Mission."

Mix made a few more heaving noises before finally pulling her face up-eyes ringed red and snot dribbling from her nose as fat tears covered her face. She looked like a child. Sometimes Marnie forgot that Mix had been one of the youngest of them.

"It's....what Adra would have wanted." Marnie said gently, getting down on Mix's level. "Complete the mission. Make sure she didn't die in vain. That.....none of them died in vain. Comon." She wrapped her arms around Mix and pulled her up. "Let's keep going." Mix choked and sniffled as Marnie led her on twords the Pillars. Yi and Tia hung back for a moment.

"Commander, what should we do? Shall we burn the bodies like the others?" Tia inquired flatly. Yi had knelt down by Adra's cold body and was pulling things out of her pack. Notes, pictures, flash drives to her Wrist Pad. Commander Yi stopped as she pulled a locket off Adra's neck. It had the royal crest on it in beautiful white engraving ink. She felt a lump fill her throat at the single sight that brought her such comfort and memories of home.

"Yes. Burn her." Yi finally managed to say. "Catch up with when we're done. We're heading on ahead." Tia pulled out her lighter as Yi turned on her heels and jogged ahead to catch up with Marnie and Adra. Tia bit her lip. This would make around the 12th person she had to burn on this damned mission.

The smell still was so sour no matter how many times she smelled it.

-

The towers were sleek and white with bright marking along the entire circumfrance. Numerous towers stuck out of the base, tall and proud. Almost organic looking. Had she not have her arms wrapped around Mix, still comforting the now deadly silent Scout, Marnie would have gotten just as excited as she had the night before when Yi showed her the slab. Yi and Marnie stared mesmerized by the tower and the organic pillars.

"What are they?" Marnie whispered softly. Yi consulted Adra's wrist pad and her eyes grew wide and white.

"Food." She said, jogging a bit ahead. "They're FOOD." She practically screamed.

"Wait-COMMANDER, oh shit, comon Mix" Marnie unwrapped from around Mix and grabbed her hand, pulling her along as she ran after Commander Yi. Yi had reached the tower and practically flung her arms against the base and hugged it's sleek surface.

"It's NUTRIENTS. It's what we've been hunting for." She practically shrieked, giddy. Marnie looked confusedly at the slender organic trees, vaugely yellow with large malformed crystals growing out of them.

"It's food?" she echoed dumbly. Yi excitedly pointed at Adra's wrist pad, numbers and figures that didn't make sense to Marnie.

"It matches the coding sequence perfectly to the crumbs that came thru the portals. This is the SOURCE of all the food we've been recieving." Yi giggled practically giddy with thrill and excitement. "If we can just get some seeds to take back or even some fragments of the trees, we can regrow them back at the colony."

"Then that's what we'll do." Tia said, finally making her apperance, smelling of campfire, her face still grim. "Everyone load up on seeds and fragments." She pulled the grappling gun out of her pack and shot it up twords the tall edge of the slick pillars. It made a satisfying 'Kch-CHNK!' noise as it looped around something far in the sky. Tina gave expermintal tug. "We're gonna have to climb up."

"Mix are you okay to climb?" Marnie asked quietly. The Scout turned away for a minute before slowly nodding. "Okay. Good. It's almost over."

The Climb took what felt like hours, the sky above changing to a soft pale orange as they got higher and higher. Marnie felt like something was coiling around her throat and worming it's way into her lung the air was so thing. By the time she managed to pull herself up to the edge where Yi and Tia were already waiting, she was completely out of breath.

"God......Dammit......." She gasped. "I'll......never..........get used to.....climbing like this....." Marnie struggled as she pulled herself up to her knees. "What's......wrong?"

"It's Mix." Captain Tia said flaty. Marnie looked around and saw Mix standing at the edge of the pillar, gazing out at the empty blackness that they had traveresed. The wind whipped around her for a minute and she looked up at the sky. She made a soft gasping noise as she gazed up into the heavens.

"Oh god........Oh God.........Oh God.........."She whispered over and over again. Marnie watched as tears welled up her already swollen red eyes, trickling down her cheeks. "There's no way back."

"Mix, come over here away from the edge." Commander Yi ordered. Mix didn't move. She stood frozen, staring at the sky. "Mix?" The scout raised a foot forward. "TIA!" Yi screamed as Mix took a step forward into the abyss. Tia had already darted before Yi had even gave the order and flung herself across the ground, scraping her stomach as her hands wrapped around Mix's dangling over the edge. Marnie screamed and ran and half stumbled over to help Tia pull Mix up

"DAMMIT MIX, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?" Tia snarled trying to heft Mix back up. Mix's body was limp and quiet and when Marnie had reached the edge and held out her own hand for Mix to grab, the Scout had finally looked up. Marnie stared at those red ringed eyes that had cried so much. Truely mourning for every loss this mission gave to them. The loss of all her friends, of her own twin sister, of Adra.

"Don't look at the sky." She whispered. Mix then grabbed something from her boot and Tia began to scream as a hunting knife was embedded into her wrist.

She let go.

And just like that, Mix was gone.

Marnie felt the tears burst out of her eyes as she had watched Mix's saddened face dissapear into the blackness and minutes later, the tell tale thump of her comrade's death. She couldn't make a sound, not even a squeaky sob no matter how much she wanted to. She felt like she had just run out of sadness, run dry of tears.

Tia was still howling as she ripped the knife out of her wrist and immediately began to try and lick it clean like she was an animal. Yi stood there, frozen by what just happened. In a single day, she had lost 2 more subordinates, one to the sheer exhaustion and the other one who simply tossed herself over the edge. She felt that knot well up in her throat again as she watched Marnie pull herself off the ground and turned to Yi.

"What did she mean, 'Dont look at the sky' ?" Marnie whimpered. Yi shook her head slowly and for the longest of times, the two stared at each other, afraid to go first.

"One." Yi started.

"Two" Marnie whispered

"Three." They both said and turned their eyes up to the skies above.

It was then when Yi threw up everything she had in her stomach. The rations burned as they came up in a greyish bile and the commander ungracefully gagged it all up a the feet of her subordinate. Marnie didn't even seem to notice. She stared up the way Mix did, transfixed and hypnotized.

"Those......Those are........."She finally wheezed. The tightness in her lungs constricted even more and she almost felt faint. Tia who had finally stopped screaming and licking her wrist also had looked up.

"Teeth." She murmered quietly.

Numerous flat plates hovered into the muted orange sky that began to turn black and clouded again. The Darker the skies grew, the sharper and brighter those teeth grew in neat rows that spread into the most mencing of cresents. The mouth seemed to stretch for miles, high above. It eventually pulled a part and wheezed and suddenly a blast of hot air nearly knocked Marnie off her feet. It smelt putrid, it smelt like death and it smelt like the bodies that Tia had burned 13 times in the past 5 weeks. The way the black clouds moved and squirmed reminded Marnie of worms in a garbage bag, pushing and pulling-trying to release themselves from their imprisonment to no avail. It was nausating to watch, but like a train accident, she couldn't find it in her soul to tear her eyes away.

Marnie watched as one, two-no FOUR-eyes blinked slowly into existance. Pupils rolled around the whites of the eyes trying to focus in on something before finally zeroing in on the organic pillars. There was a loud noise that almost sounded like whistling as numerous tentacles-about five of them shot from the skies. The tendrils wrapped around the pillars and the ground shook violently as the organic pillars were ripped up. The tendrils retreated into the massive maw, already salivating and dripping massive droplets that splashed into the ground, turning it almost grey and weak. Tia struggled to her feet as she also watched this giant beast, this abomination dine upon the nutrients they had sought for so long like it was nothing. The pupils began to roll about against in all directions, trying to take in everything all at once.

Then it zeroed in on them.

"Run." Tit hoarsely coughed.

"uhuhh." Marnie moaned, still entranced. Yi spat into the ground and struggled back up to her feet, legs shaking.

"GODDAMIT, RUN-RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE, MARNIE!" Tia screamed at the top of her lungs as the tendrils shot down again, striking meters away from where they stood. The ground shook so violently as the tentacles hit the tower's surface. Everything began to crumble at once at the impact, the tentacles squirming around, seeking out anything it could to destroy. Yi grabbed Marnie by the hand and began to run. Marnie barely snapped out of her trance as Yi pulled her along before she could find the brain connects to make her legs move. She looked back in absolute horror as the tentacles reached Tia and Tia, god oh Tia.

Tia had whipped out the hunting knife that Mix stabbed her with and lept upon the tentacles. She shived the squirming creature repeatedly only for it to throw her immediately. Tia had barely bounced back from the impact when a single tentacle reared up and slowly pressed down on Tia's body and all that followed was a whimper and sickening popping noise.

Marnie could feel the rations crawling up her own throat, now ready to throw up. Yi was frantically pulling Marnie along, trying out run the shaking of the ground and the tentacles that suddenly caught on to the fact that there were 2 missing. The slithering tentacles moved after them in an alarming pace, it's vibrating pulsating flesh catching them in minutes. Marnie and Yi began to hysterically scream as the tentacles wrapped around them and pulled them up in the heavens, the air practically crushing them against the pulsating flesh.

"Yi-oh god YI!" Marnie screamed, looking over at her Commander. The impact as the tentacles had grabbed them left Yi in a limp rag doll like safe, ragged breath pulsating in and out of her body. The Tentacles finally stopped moving and the air pressure released her from her imprisonment. Marnie laid on her back and stared in the 4 eyed abyss that stared back with judgemental slit like eyes, as if it was struggling to see the insignifagant speck that was Marnie and Yi's body. At the far distance, the abomination simply looked like something trapped in a garbage of sorts trying to get free. Up this close to it now, her tune had changed. It wasn't trapped. It was the opposite.

And Marnie couldn't stop screaming.

-

Commander Yi stirred awake 8 days later. The sound of hospital noises filled her ears, nurses heels clacking about as they scurried, the intercom system asking for a Dr. Nadia to come to the ER, the sounds of saline drips, resperaitors and the common wheezing and drone of a hospital. It was all so familiar to her, she had been in hospitals numerous times before.

She just never expected to be in one again after the Mission.

"Marnie." She croaked. Her throat felt try and tattered, every fragment of her body burned when she tried to twitch her muscles.

"Oh god, you're awake." Whispered the nurse that had been checking on the saline that had been hooked up into Yi's body. Yi's one good arm shot out and grabbed the Nurse violently by the wrist. She squeaked out in surprise.

"WHERE'S MARNIE." She tried to scream, but only came out again in a hoarse broken whisper. "Is Marnie okay? Did she make it-"

"Commander, please. Dont move so quickly." A familiar voice chided. Yi turned her head. Dedria sat in a plastic grey chair in the small hospital room. Dedria had been head of the department that worked to open the portals and study them. It was with their smooth talking that they even got the money for the mission. Dedria nodded slightly at the Nurse who quickly finished hanging up the saline and scurried out, shutting the door behind her.

"What happened?" Yi croaked again.

"Well. We manged to get a pin point on your location. I mean, after we lost it week 4. It took a bit of work, but we finally managed to get a bead on you and force open a portal underneath you. You could imagine our shock when you fell in. We could have sworn you were dead Yi." Dedria stood up and walked over to the wall which had instructions for the nurses to follow. "A broken arm, shattered ankle, rib cage completely caved in, a concussion so severe that it could put the best of our military to shame. Your internal bleeding was so rampent that you were basically just a sack of broken bones and blood. We manged to pull a 3 nighter and put you back together, Humpty Dumpty." Dedria chuckled softly. Yi's one good eye blinked slowly.

"How long have I been-"

"8 days. Solid week. Doctors said you were already showing signs of extreme fatigue that they essentially had to put your body into a drug induced coma so it'd get the proper repair time that it needed." Dedria slowly rubbed the back of her neck. "I didn't think you'd wake up so early. I thought you'd be out for another month."

"Where's Marnie?"

"Hmn?" Dedria blinked confusedly for a few minutes.

"Dr. Marina of the Artifacers and Linguistics Department." Yi said slowly and deliberately. "Where is she?" Dedria sighed slowly.

"Yi, you were in pretty bad shape when you fell in. You were borderline dead. We dont know what happened while you were in the Black Plane....but.......Marina......" Dedria pinched the bridge of her nose as if this was extremely difficult to think about, let alone explain. "Marina is broken."

"Broken." Yi flatly ecohed.

"She was awake and concious when you two fell in. And she's been awake for 8 days straight. She's stopped sleeping, Yi." Dedria looked away from Yi to avoid the Commander's single intense gaze. "I dont think she could if she wanted to. She's been admitted to the hospital's psychological ward."

"I want to see her."

"Yi, you still need time to heal up, your ribs are still basically mush-"

"DEDRIA." Yi snapped. "Please. Please Dedria."Yi began to sob quietly. "I need to see her." Dedria bit her lip, her brow furrowing. She hating seeing people cry, especially people like Yi.

"Alright........I'll.....I'll see what strings I could pull."

"Thank you, Didi." Yi whispered.

"Dont call me that. Yi-Yi." Dedria snorted as she left the room.

-

Dedria made good on her word. It took 3 days of smooth talking, bribery and Yi behaving for once in her long track record of numerous hospital visits, but she was finally confirmed wheelchair ready. Yi winced as Dedria and a nurse helped her into the chair. Everything still felt sore and they were already trying to ween her off the painkillers that had been helping make this entire ordeal bareable. Yi was on a cocktail of drugs, sleeping pills, tranquilizers, painkillers, antibiotics. Yi had begged Dedria to get a drink repeatedly during her visits, only to have her superior wave her away and say 'Maybe when your pee can get thru a drug test clean, Yi.'

Needless to say, Yi was starting to develop a worse temperment than usual when confined to one place. But for Marnie she behaved. That was the only thing that kept her from going absolutely apeshit on the nurses, doctors, on Dedria. And it was the promise to visit Marnie.

Dedria wheeled Yi down the long white corridor, patients waiting out in halls being tended to by doctors-some obvious victims of the white poison that still was spread around the colony.

"Things have tapered off a bit."Dedria explained as they turned. "They've been working on some strong counter agents against what they're calling 'White Death'. People that have been exposed to it have at least a 70% chance of survival now."

"That's good." Yi muttered, trying keep calm. Dedria wheeled her into the elevator and pressed the button for the psychological ward.

"Yi.....we need to talk about Marina-I mean....Marnie."

"What's there to say?"

"She......she's worse than I intially let on. You think you're on a lot of stuff right now? Dr. Marina-Marnie, I mean, she's on everything this hospital's got. Painkillers, anti-psychotics, anxiety medication, stomach pills, she can barely keep food down and she can't sleep without borderline overdoses of sleep medication."

"She's been thru a lot." Yi mumbled. "That.....place.....that Black Plane. It was Hell, Dedria. I'm pretty sure you sent us to Hell."

"Look. I'm just saying." Dedria chuffed a sigh as the door slid open and Yi was wheeled down to Marine's room. "Just....get ready for the person you're about to meet."

The room was dark. The windows drawn and the only noise was the sound of saline drip and the snow of the tv. static. Yi could barely see the outline of Marine sitting up hunched over in the bed. She slowly rocked back and forth.

"Marnie?" Yi whispered softly. The figure jerked around and stared at Yi with wide awake eyes, ringed red and sleepless. Marnie gave a ragged inhale and exhale.

"It was on the outside." She croaked. Yi tilted her head, confusedly. "It's insides. Where on the outside. It had no skin. It was like a living mass of meat tissue. There was no carapace, no exoskeleton, everything just exposed to the elements and it was that size. It was that size. And we were eating it's scraps. It's Insides were on the Outside."

"Marnie-" Yi wheeled a bit forward as Dr. Marina of the Artifacer and Linguistics department began to cry, burying her face into her hands and screamed again and again thru the tears.

"ITS INSIDES WERE ON THE OUTSIDE, ITS INSIDES WERE ON THE OUTSIDE. ITS INSIDES WERE ON THE OUTSIDE."

-

"So yeah, we had ants in the car." Reeda said taking a sip of her sprite. Her mother raised a slight eyebrow as her daughter regaled her with the tale of her school day.

"It's all that junk you and your brother leave in the car. I keep telling you if two vacumed it once in a while"

"It's fine." She waved off her mother's scolding. I mean, I think like some of them got near my french fries. I smooshed like one and I let the other two get away. I threw 'em outside"

"You should have just killed them both."Her mother sighed, pulling the ant poison out from under the skin. The Ant problem was just getting worse around the part of the yard where they parked the cars.

"Yeah. But I like to leave at least two alive." Reeda took another sip of her sprite. " 'Go tell your people what you saw here' Kinda thing you know?"

"They're ants, sweetie. It's not like they're that complex"

"Eh. I guess you're right." She shrugged. "I just want them to think twice about trying to steal my french fries like that."

[doecrowned]

      i’m an entire day late but i’m finally getting to my intros ... yesterday just wasn’t my day but hello lovelies, i’m lo, or lola, 9teen and stressing in gmt+1, i’ve got two babies here, elia martell, princess of dorne who does already have an intro ( here ) from a lil while back though i do plan on updating it at some point as some aspects have changed!  though she’s still the honourable, cunning yet kind, queer namesake of the late elia martell .... on the other side of the coin is this girly right here, myranda baratheon, great/grand-daughter of arya and gendry ( whom myra loves very much ) who i’ll be getting into down below but before i do ... pls come plot with us, i’ll leave some connections at the end of this but i give everyone permission to attack my im’s or message me on discord @ #3454 about anything & everything from plots and connections to just asoiaf.. i’m 100% down ♡

( marina moschen / 19 / cisfemale ) → there has been whispers around the keep that MYRANDA BARATHEON, the LADY of THE STORMLANDS has been spotted. everyone knows she can be very WAYWARD, but some may know that she can be BENEVOLENT & ASPIRING. she has pledged her alligence to HOUSE BARATHEON & STARK , i wonder how long she’ll last in the capital ? 

firstly she absolutely adores her grandparents/great-grandparents, trust a day won’t go by without myranda having dropped arya and gendry into a conversation somehow, she’s so immensely proud of her lineage, always seen beaming at the mere concept of her being a descendant of the great ‘storm queen’ … she just loves being a baratheon so much advjsdk

her parents on the other hand, truly wanted to make a little lady out of myranda, have her be the perfect little girl who’d grow up to marry well and charm the royal court because that’s how she graced the world, a doe-eyed, sweet tempered girl.

she started off as an incredibly gentle soul, who was both benevolent and obedient but aged 8, things began to change and myranda took a keen interest in activities considered less ‘lady-like’ by westerosi society, she began riding more often than not, racing through the rocky terrain of the stormlands on her beloved friesian stallion named ‘orys’. it’s at this time, she also picked up a sword, training just as much as her brother did though mainly in her own time as her parents swore off the idea of myranda partaking in weapon training when really she should’ve been sat practising needlework. 

it’s from this that she’s grown such a rebellious streak, straying further from what’s expected of a lady such as herself with each passing day.

thus she tends to scoff in the face of tradition, myranda thoroughly believes its in her blood to do so, having been descended from arya stark, one of the most unconventional women to grace the land of westeros and her husband, gendry baratheon, a once-bastard who rose up from a title that was so looked down upon to claim all that his family have now. she believes in more than being a chaste young lady, entering a betrothal found for her by others and living out the rest of her days as a dutiful wife, producing heirs until she can longer do so… she’d rather be playing an active role in shaping the future of westeros, the world that she’ll be living in, and hopefully ruling over in the future.

you’ll often find her running through the forest, or through storm’s end, along the cliff’s edge, bare foot and in a dress that is beyond inappropriate for that particular activity… it’ll often be a long, floaty thing, myranda having let her hair down and allowed the sea spray to drench her before returning home to a chorus of tsking from all her maids.

she adores her homeland and is honestly quite upset to be leaving it to go to the capital however she finds it to be good practise as one of her dreams is to travel, to essos and to each and every corner of westeros, feeling she’s had a pretty sheltered childhood growing up, having never travelled too far from the stormlands before really, no matter how many times she tried... 

despite her wild streak and the wolf blood running through her veins, as inherited from arya’s stark side of the family, myra is incredibly talented in deceiving people into thinking she’s the lady she really should be... all of her mother’s teachings and moanings didn’t go to waste ... trust, she knows how to act, speak and portray herself as the lady of storm’s end and the stormlands, i think she finds it entertaining to act in that way, to dress up and prance around like some women in westeros do. 

her allegiance lies with her house, and that of her stark family in the north, she’s not entirely, if at all, that devoted to the targaryens but again.. she play her part pretty damn convincingly. 

all in all, myra’s not entirely sure what she wants to do in life... she’s keen on the idea of becoming a sellsword or perhaps a member of the small council, though at present... her sole task at hand is swaying conversation away from any potential betrothals coming her way as she understands her hand in marriage is a well desired objective of several noble families. 

overall though !!!! myranda is an incredibly chill young girl, who will 100% fight you, physically or just through sharp-tongued quips and japes which all come from an incredibly gentle and warm heart. she’s got the best of intentions and just wants to enjoy life to its fullest, taking advantage of all it has to offer. 

that’s all i’ve got for now, but onto some specific connections... 

a potential betrothal, one in talks: it’s myranda’s worst nightmare to be promised to someone right now, there’s a sense of entrapment she feels is attached to betrothals and there’s still so much she wants to do and achieve in her life before she even begins to consider such a thing... i’d imagine it’s a pretty mutual feeling of discontent shared between both parties, enough that they could perhaps laugh over it when together but yeah, she wouldn’t touch on this topic with a 10ft pole unless forced to.

her first crush / love: this is just pure fluff ( a lil angst ) !!!!!!!! & very specific, so i’ll probably send it in but she had a massive crush on the kennel master’s son at storm’s end during her early teens. they used to train together in the yard, sparring with one another, riding and racing one another upon horseback, just being cute, soft friends who had feelings for one another but were always incredibly hesitant to act on those feelings. myranda’s very much asexual, having little sexual attraction there, instead just a pure emotional attachment. i imagine he went on to become a knight, kingsguard member, guard for house baratheon, idk but i think myra’s always held this character in very high regard and they undoubtedly hold a special place in her heart. 

gal pals: i’m just a sucker for women supporting women so any ladies who wanna group up whilst in the capital and have a little fun, cause a little chaos... hit myranda up bc she’s 100% there for that. 

^ even people that she could perhaps fight against, train against, ride/race against like... anyone up for a challenge, cute friendly or rival-esque sorta dynamics would be cool to see. 

again, that’s all i’ve got but pls hmu, either on here or over on discord, i’d be so incredibly happy to chat ♡

[urbanjohnny]

36 & 59... Im testing your angst ability naomi ehehee ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ with taeyong

↳ “I’m tired of being your secret.” || “Don’t say you love me.”

✗ gif credit: neotechs

✗ pairing: taeyong x reader

✗ genre: angst x superstar!taeyong

✗ word count: 1.8k

✗ author’s note: i’m sweating as i upload this. i hope i’ve met your expectations for with this angst haha. also @honeytaeyong happy belated birthday! think of this as a small present i really enjoy writing celebrities/rich people for some reason. what i mean by this au is pretty much taeyong isn’t in nct and he’s instead a solo star who is well rounded in his abilities.

Lee Taeyong was the envy of many. Monthly red-carpet appearances,weekly interviews on morning talk shows, and photo shoots in exotic locations.Designer clothes hand-tailored and delivered to his front door, private loungesfilled with a plethora of expensive liquor, and endless access to an array ofluxurious automobiles and private jets.

Men aspired to live the life he lived and women aspired to live in his life. They all longed to meet thefamous man who turned heads on runways, wooed audiences on the big screen, andperformed on stage to thousands of screaming fans. Lee Taeyong was well-versedin modeling, acting, and singing. He was a global superstar and no one couldargue against that statement.

Yet, there was one aspect of his life that intrigued everyone:where was the girl? Where was his princess, his queen, his true love? For thepast three years there had been rumors and sightings, but no confirmations, noheadlines, and no statements. For someone whose parents were constantlydiscussing possible choices for their son, it was surprising he had yet to findsomeone.

Every red carpet event was done solo and, every intrusive questionthat arose in an interview, Taeyong would smile and simply say he had yet tofind the one.

Though that was not the complete truth.

It was another regular night for Taeyong. Another tailored Armanisuit, a silver Rolex on his wrist, and freshly polished shoes fromFerragamo. His stylists applied a thin layer of makeup upon his face andslicked his freshly washed hair to perfection. After one last check, he wouldhop into a black SUV, ready to appear before the eyes of the media and hisdedicated fansites all lined up in front of the red carpet.

The evening was beautiful, almost enchanting with the glimmeringlights angled perfectly above the scarlet path before him. As he descended fromhis glossy onyx vehicle, he was greeted by an eruption of screams from thecrowd. He appeased their enthusiasm with a charming smile and an appreciativewave. His bright eyes scanned the venue, noticing the different groups, from theA-listers, to the bloodthirsty reporters, and his beloved fans. Taeyong offeredwarm smiles as he walked down the trail, bowing respectfully to his colleaguesand directors. 

He embraced Jung Jaehyun, a longtime friend, and shook hands withhis senior and mentor, Kim Junmyeon. The trio sauntered towards the blindingcameras and posed for photographs for the press.

Although the three leading men could steal the floor right thenand there, there was one more face everyone was waiting for. Her entrance was signaledby the burst of cheers and calls from the audience as she exited her ownlimousine.

Jung Jiwoo had arrived looking breathtakingly beautiful, which wasno surprise. Ever since she was a child, she has been renowned solely for heracting skills. Through the years, she had blossomed into a magnificent younglady, taking on more mature roles and continuously gracing the silver screenwith her talent.

She moved along the carpet so gracefully, as if she was driftingin the clouds, her cream gown trailing effortlessly behind her. Her brown hairfell in soft swirls over her shoulder and the diamonds hanging on her earsilluminated her eyes. If her beauty wasn’t enough of a shocker, the way shefloated directly to Taeyong and lovingly snaked her arm through his hadcertainly caught everyone off-guard. They were, after all, a couple on screen,but far from romantically entangled outside of it.

Lips pressed together, eyes narrowed, and nostrils flared. Yourfinger firmly stabbed the off button to the television as you threw theremote onto the marble coffee table. A large huff of disappointment escapedyour lips, followed by a scream that pierced through the air. You stood uprather quickly, hitting your knee against the cool stone which made you yelp inpain. You were mad before, but now you were furious.The feelings of betrayal and regret filling your already bitter heart, yetthere was nothing you could do about it.

How could someone like you expect so much of someone like Taeyong,your boyfriend of nearly three years? He had promised you the world, yet hereyou sat alone in your dark living room, the muted glow of the city behind you.

You could still remember the day he passed you his number duringone of his music video shoots, the beginning of ceaseless conversations. Thelove affair continued for months after, leading to midnight rendezvous at eachother’s condos and secret getaways to foreign destinations.

Taeyong had promised a year into the relationship that he wouldreveal you to the world, yet he had never lived up to his words and kept youhidden away. In your eyes, you were locked in a dungeon.

Tears began to spill as you turned on the monitor again, thecamera now up close to both Taeyong and Jiwoo. Jiwoo held a look of lust as shestared at Taeyong, but Taeyong viewed her apathetically. However, the audiencewere blinded by rumors and their longing for drama, easily falling into theruse they had planned to spur on movie promotions.

What a bitch, you thought as youwitnessed Jiwoo place a hand gently upon Taeyong’s chest. He could have removedher hand, but of course he was being polite and continuing for the photos.

Oh, how I wish I could strangle her, was another thought that came to mind. You did not think thenight could get any worse, but you were proven wrong when Jiwoo continued herphysical contact with Taeyong yet to halt her actions. Fine Taeyong, if youwant to act like this, then go ahead. You clenched your jaw, eyes sharplike daggers as you turned the television off, before you stalked off towardsyour shared bedroom.

Taeyong entered the condo, surprised by how silent it was withonly the entrance lights illuminating the place. He cocked his head, curious towhy his girlfriend was nowhere in sight. She had said she would be staying hometo watch the awards and catch up on work, but Taeyong wondered if she haddecided to go out.

He padded softly towards the bedroom, careful not to make anynoises, just in case Y/N was sleeping. He carefully pressed the door handledown, a sigh of relief releasing as he saw her figure curled up in bed, thesmall bedside light still on, yet dimmed.

Taeyong made his way over, sitting at the side of the bed,planting a kiss upon your forehead. You stirred at the gesture, lazily openingyour eyes to see your boyfriend staring at you with tender eyes.

You spoke softly, “Did you just get home?” You reached for hishand, squeezing it tightly.

He nodded with a small smile, “Have you been asleep for long?”

“I went to bed a few hours ago.” You did not hide your expressionof annoyance.

Taeyong raised a brow, curious. “Did you catch the awards? Ididn’t receive any texts after I won.” He frowned, now wondering if you wereangry with him. “Did something happen?”

“Taeyong,” you began. You were in no mood to speak with caution.“What happened to your promise?”

Taeyong paused, his expression blank as he pondered over yourquestion. He had no recollection of his promises, other than promising to getyou a new speaker after he had broken yours.

You sat up, placing a hand on his arm, your face now expressingdisappointment. “Taeyong, I’m tired of beingyour secret.” Water welled in your eyes, tears so sudden from onestatement. “I’m tired of having to watch you by yourself on the red carpet orcozying up to actresses that are clueless to the fact I’m yours.”

“Y/N, is that why you’re mad? Jiwoo was just—”

You raised a hand to cut him off. “Taeyong, Jiwoo was not beingfriendly, if anything she was ready to fuck you right then and there.”

Taeyong opened his mouth, but you had no intention of letting himspeak.

“Taeyong, you had every chance to stop her and yet you didn’t. Youhad every chance to reveal me to the world and yet you haven’t.” Tears were nowcascading down your face. “I’ve been stuck behind the scenes for three years,Taeyong. What are you so afraid of? Approval, hate? What? What is it?”

He let out a sigh as you turned away, not bothering to acknowledgehim. “Y/N, I just want to protect you and you know that.”

You laughed in response, disbelief written upon your face. “That’sbullshit, Taeyong. Protect me from what? Your fans? Your company? Which is it?”

Taeyong’s voice was soft as he spoke, “I’m not sure anymore.”

“Do you even love me anymore or am I just someone on the side youuse for pleasure and comfort?”

He abruptly stood up, taking your hands in his. His face heldanger from your words, but you only looked back with the same sentiment. “I dolove you, Y/N. I love you so much!” his desperate pleas echoed throughout thecondo.

You threw his hands to the side, jumping up to push him away. “Don’t say you love me! Don’t say you love mewhen you can’t even tell the world!” You pushed him again, causing him tostumble back into the window.

He gripped your arms, steadying you. “I do care about you.”

You shook off his grip, immediately pounding a fist againstTaeyong’s chest. “If you care about me, you would have given zero fucks.” Youlooked him in the eye with a look of hate and sadness. “Taeyong, I’m sufferinghiding in the shadows.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“You’re not.” Your voice was stern, sure.

“Let me make it up to you. What do you want? A trip to Thailand? AValentino bag? I’ll give you whatever and I’ll promise to reveal ourrelationship.”

You let out an exasperated breath, “I don’t want your money oryour promises anymore.” You turned away, slowly climbing back into bed. “I wantyou to take your Rolex and your Armani and your fake promises and get the fuckout of the house.”

“But Y/N.”

You settled deeper under the covers, staring straight. “You mustbe ashamed of me. Is that what it is?”

Taeyong stood in front of you, face now showing signs of regret.“Y/N, why would I be ashamed of you?”

You brought your eyes to his, your lips pressed into thin line.“I’m not sure, Taeyong, but that’s something for you to think about.” You hitthe light switch, throwing the room into darkness. “Goodnight Taeyong. Sleepwell.”

He watched you drift to sleep, a feeling of remorse buildinginside of him. Taeyong dragged himself towards the bedroom door, looking backone last time at your peaceful figure with gloomy eyes, before he made his wayto the front door.

As he shut the door behind him he collapsed onto the cold tiles, asingle tear falling his eye, staining his once crisp ivory shirt. It was atthat moment he knew he had lost the one he loved most. 

[stars-that-shine-at-night]

If the Shoe Fits  Jimin x Reader Ballet! Au

A/n: I decided to take a break from Shimmering Skies and Twinkling Lights. I’ve had this idea for a little bit, especially after reading @frejafc“s Jimin’s series Pas de Deux I recommend it. I tried not to copy it as much as I can. I only wanted the idea of ballerino! Jimin. Here is a bit of a disclaimer actually, I am not a ballerina or a shoe maker, so some stuff may not be the most accurate.

Part 1~

Etre Royale Academy was a ballet school that combined the four arts of French, Russian, Italian, and English ballet. Many hopefuls enter the tough auditions, and only the toughest can make it through. Even if you make it through, the uphill battle of bettering yourself, and making it into a company still exists. 

Park Jimin came from a long line of performers. The Park family always excelled in the art of ballet, every Park ballerina or ballerino always made a lasting impression in the ballet world. Of course, the young Jimin is definitely living up to his family name. He is Etre’s most prized ballerino, the boys wished for his strength and grace, while the girls wanted to be the Odette to his Siegfried.

But behind every dancer a maker supports that dancer. Your family, the (l/n) family is family of fine craftsmen/women. Everyone in your family have made thousands or pointe shoes and ballet slippers for the special ballerinas and ballerinos who fit the unique shoe each (l/n) member makes. Ever since you were little you’ve been surrounded by ballet. The shoes, the shows, the dancers. You were one of the youngest workers entering the force, the moment you sat down, and made your first pair of custom made shoes. Even though you were young, you still had years of experience of shoe making under your belt. 

You remember the first time when the ballerina who owned the first pair of pointe you ever made came to “meet her maker”. She was a young and beautiful, fit, with excellent posture even when she walked. She went from person to person asking to find her maker, not even noticing you, for you were just only twelve years old. You looked and saw that the ballerina was with one of the older makers, and he pointed a thimble covered finger at you in your work station. She walked over to you with the bottoms of her pointe shoes facing up. You saw your symbol imprinted in the soft leather of the shoe. It was a lone dandelion seed, very unusual for a maker, most would use letters or simplified symbols, yours was actually more complex than others. Usual marks were the outlines of the objects, yours was solid and filled in. When you designed your mark, you took great care and quality into making the dye that will be pushed into the leather. 

“Are you the dandelion maker?” She asked in a quiet voice. You looked up from the new pair of shoes you were making for her and nodded. You wanted to be just like her, graceful, beautiful, with neat hair, and pink shoes. 

Over the next couple of years you got more dancers ordering more shoes from you. Your young and precise vision always made sure the size the shoe was always dead on correct, and you never changed a thing in how you made your shoes. From a young age you knew that what makes a maker the great maker is that they do not change anything about the shoe they are ordered to make unless the dancer says so. If you were off my a little bit the dancer can automatically feel it the moment he or she steps into them. You kept profiles on each type of shoe you have to make, and every time there is a little change you take the paper of notes, throw it out and start over. 

You were standing outside of Entre academy, with other makers. A briefcase in of your hands. It was the beginning of the new year and it was when all the makers would sit in a big circle and have dancers that needed find the perfect maker or find a new maker try on shoes. Dancers could also go up to their maker and have them do a quick fix or do small modifications to their shoe.

You were now seventeen, it’s your fifth year at Delladova Ballet. This new year was also going to be interesting. The wave maker just retired, and he was the maker that supplied three Park dancers their shoes: Jimin, his mother, and his father. Jimin would have to find a new maker now. Your family has worked with the Parks before. Your grandparents made Jimin’s grandparents’ shoes. Your mother use to make Park Jueun’s, Jimin’s mother, shoes in her early career. Your mother stopped making shoes so she could raise you and your siblings. Your father also made the finest satin slippers for almost every Park ballerino except for Jimin and his father. 

 You set up your little station in the circle by the shoe room, taking out your sewing kit, different kinds of shoes, fabrics, measuring kits. You strategically sit by the shoe room so you can go inside it quickly if you need to find another pair of shoes you made.

You recognized one of the ballerinas who orders from you. Her name is Seo Yeona, she was eighteen, and she was getting ready to audition for companies. She came up to you with a pristine set of pointe shoes you made. “(Y/n) can you darn these pair for me? I have an audition for the royal ballet, and I want these shoes to be perfect, and you darn them just perfectly for me. I know I can dance my best if you darn them.“ 

You smiled at Yeona and took her shoes “Of course. I will make sure it will be my best, just like the rest.” You said, opening up your sewing kit, you took out your thimble and darning needle. You pulled a good amount of wool out from the bunch you had and cut it off with the rest. You looped the wool through the needle, tied the the wool on to the needle, and started the darning process. You made the first darn stitch, and continued to chain stitch all the way around the platform of the shoe, pulling tightly each time. You consecutively made the same chain stitch making them look almost perfectly the same. Once you reached the end of the platform back at your darn stitch, you the excess wool off and ties the loose ends. You repeated the thing to her second shoe. Both shoes took you less than ten minutes to darn, and the stitches were consistent and not sloppy. Yeona looked happily at her new darned shoes and hugged them to her chest. 

“Thank you so much, I don’t know what to say.” You smiled and looked her in the eye. “You don’t have to say anything, just dance your best in these, and then once you get into the royal ballet, send my a ticket so I can watch one your shows.” You laughed, and with that Yeona was gone. 

 Next was a second year boy. His name was Im Taejoon, he was sixteen. He said he was having difficulties finding a maker. You offered him the stool you were sit on, so he can sit down it and you can quickly measure his foot. You found that his size was really close to another boy, who ordered from you. You pulled out a shoe that was his and slipped it onto Taejoon’s foot, you examined how the shoe conformed to the foot and shook your head. You thought a double sole shoe with tighter elastic would be better. So you pulled out a double sole shoe, snipped off the elastic, and measured new elastic the fit Taejoon’s ankle and over the bridge of his foot. You cut off that piece of elastic, and sewed it onto the shoe with a smaller needle and black thread. 

 "Now, give me a quick pirouette.“ You said, after he put on the new shoes. The boy obeyed and you closely observed the boys feet. Something was off, and you tapped your pencil against your lip to figure it out. 

"How did it feel?” You asked him. “I think it felt fine actually.” He replied. “Go on your toes.” You said, and Taejoon did just that. And you finally saw it. “I got it!” You exclaimed. 

“Hold still do not move.” You pinched together some parts of the canvas together, shrinking the fabric to conform to the boy’s foot some more, and you sewed the shoe shrinking the amount of fabric. “Pirouette one more time.” The boy performed the elegant move perfectly. When he landed he had a wide smile on his face. 

 "These felt amazing. I can tell these are the perfect fit. I want you be my maker.“ You smiled and took the shoe off of the boy, measured it quickly and wrote down his measurements, and what he preferred. 

 "If you need anything, just tell me or put in a order, I am happy to deliver for you. I am the dandelion maker, and at the bottom of every shoe I make you will see the imprint of a single dandelion seed pressed into the sole. That’s how you know I made. When it appears in your pigeon hole that means it is especially made for you.” The boy nodded listening to all of instructions, then ran off with his new shoes to dance with. Every dancer gets excited when they try on the perfect shoe from the perfect maker.

 Out of nowhere, your best friend Son Chaerin tackle hugged you. “I missed you (y/n).” Shrieked as she squeezed the the life out of you. “You saw me the day before yesterday…” You choked out, gasping for air.

 "But that’s a day too long (y/n)ah.“ Chaerin whined leaning onto your back. "Can you let go?” You asked. “I kind of can’t breathe.” Chaerin instantly let you go, making you fall to the ground.

 "Oops sorry (y/n)ah, I forgot you need to breathe sometimes.“ Regaining your composure, you looked and her and asked, 

"What do you need this time.” “Oh yeah, I need to change my shoes again. These don’t work for me anymore. My feet got stronger again.” You rolled your eyes at Chaerin. If this was any other dancer you wouldn’t do this to them, but you have know Chaerin since you were three. Your grandmother made Chaerin’s mother’s shoes, and your mother made Chaerin’s first pointe shoes. They custom made and your mother made sure to make them with the prettiest pink satin that was in the workshop that day. Now you make Chaerin’s shoes, like others she hopes to get into a company and works hard every day. When you work with Chaerin you feel like you can be a bit more relaxed, and more yourself. You noted the new changes in Chaerin’s shoes. 

“I’ll send a new pair over, and we’ll keep tweaking it until we get it right, then I’ll re-do your shoe profile.” You said, handing her back her shoes. “Got it!” She said cheerfully. “Hey (y/n) why don’t we got for barbecue or pizza later?” Chaerin asked. 

 "Aren’t you on a diet?“ You mentioned. Chaerin rolled her eyes. "Does it even matter anymore? Everyone has the same diet, so that means I am the same with everyone else. I’ll be fine.” Chaerin shrugged, she was actually the perfect size for a ballerina, slim, and muscular but not too muscular.

 "Besides if we go out, I’ll just run it off. Especially if I run with you.“ She snickered. "Hey! It’s not my fault I run fast besides, you’re the better athlete. It’s not my fault you can’t keep up with.” You said. Even though you and Charin bicker like an old married couple you still loved her. You always went to her performances and cheered her on. She was there for you when you needed it, and you were there for her when she was in slumps. 

 "Anyways, I gotta go and head off to practice.“ She said. "Oh wait did you hear that Park Jimin is looking for a new maker?! That could be you (y/n)!” Chaerin squealed. “He’s so hot, I wish I could be his partner. Oh what would I give to just have one pas de deux dance with him, it doesn’t have to be a performance, just a dance and I’ll be satisfied.” She swooned. 

 "Yah, don’t you think you’re cheating on Hoseok a little bit?“ Hoseok and Chaerin weren’t actually dating. They’ve been partners for the last seven years and they complimented each other well. They were so energetic, they could pull off the most tiring choreographies , and Hoseok was strong enough to life Chaerin. They were just two dorks together though. They would call each other "wifey” or “hubby” just for shits and giggles. Chaerin lifted a finger to her lips.

“Don’t tell Hoseok, he doesn’t need to know.” And Chaerin ran off finally to get to practice. You sat on your stool and took measures of different students feet, some didn’t like your shoes, and that’s okay. A maker is not supposed to make everyone’s shoes. Every dancer has a different foot, and a certain maker, can make that specific shoe.  

You waved off another first year girl who tried on her first pointe shoes with you. She was a young girl of fourteen, Choi Hanbyul. “Look forward to working with you as your maker, if you need me I will be at factory, and on Friday’s I help mister Chanu in the shoe room.” The girl nodded and left. The next person who came after the girl, was the last person you ever expected to see….Park Jimin. He was the usual apparel of boy dancer. Black tights that was a stream line fit to his muscular legs, and a white t-shirt, tucked into the tights, creating an overall clean look.

“So you’re the dandelion maker…”  You just nodded. The boy tilted his head a bit, most makers were older, they had to study the art of shoe making for a long time in school, and then be a apprentice. You did all that too, from the moment when you were born to when you were twelve, you watched your mom and dad make shoes, and other relatives make shoes. 

“Aen’t you too young to be a shoe maker?” You slightly frowned at the question, you were always shot that question whenever people first meet you. 

“Well I must be at some degrees okay, I’ve been coming here and helping dancers fit into their dream shoes for five years now. Inn’t that longer than your years here?” You knew Jimin entered this school as fourteen years old, and he is now your age. Jimin’s faced darkened, and he leaned down into a squat to meet your face. 

“For an artist in this mature and respective field you sure do have a fresh mouth.” He said harshly. If anything, you really wanted to deck him in his perfect face, but you cannot do that, or the other ballerinas will jump you for that. Also the school would be livid if their main dancer had a humongous bruise on his face, and not to mention what your parents would say. You kept your temptation at bay, while you continued to talk to dancer. 

“So did you want to try on the shoes I make?” You asked. “Or do you want to keep wasting my time?” You mentally cursed yourself the moment your last sentence left your mouth, why couldn’t just keep your mouth shut. You never did this any other dancer, but other dancers didn’t give you a hard time like this. 

“Maybe you’re just too immature for this work.” Jimin said. You decided to not fight back anymore, and pulled out your measuring tape to measure his feet. overall his sole was two hundred and sixty-five millimeters, and continued to measure other parts of his foot. You took a shoe that was the same measure as his sole, cut the elastic off, and measured it over the the bridge of his foot, and crossed it over into the nice, classical ‘X’ the crossed over each dancer’s foot in a slipper. You cut the elastic off, and sewed it to the slipper, and had Jimin try it on. He walked a couple of steps in them, did a pirouette and a tour en l’air. 

“What do you think?” You asked the moment he landed. 

“They’re pretty good, might take a little getting use to though. I guess Master Daejung was right. Your shoes are pretty close to wave maker’s. Which maker are you?” He asked looking at you. 

“I’m the dandelion maker. You know the shoe is mine, if there is a lone dandelion seed on the shoe.” Jimin nodded. 

“I’ll have my measurements sent to you.” You gave him a disapproving look when he mentioned that he was going to send his previous measurements for you. 

“Why would you do that? If I am your new maker I rather take your measurements myself. I trust the wave maker was excellent in making your shoes, but I never trust anyone’s measurements unless I take it.” You explained. If a dance were to have a new maker, the new maker always creates a new profile for a dancer, to ensure nothing goes wrong and everything stays consistent. 

Jimin sighed, the breath from his sigh lifted his bangs up from his skin a bit. “Fine when do you want me to come in?”

“Tomorrow at Delladova after lunch. I’ll be there, and I will take your measurements, and take notes on specific designs you need and want.” You said.

“So it’s official you’re my new maker now.” You nodded in response. You and Jimin were no locked in this metaphorical dance that exists between dancers and makers.  

[incorrectexoquotes]

Hi I'm new to exo and there's so many members (not that I'm complaining) I was wondering if u can tell me about the personalities and distinct features to help me remember their names??? Thx~ Also I understand their used to be 12 members and if u can include the ex-members that would the dope~

IM LATE BUT BUCKLE UP BABE WE’RE IN FOR A RIDE THIS IS LONG

sehun: he is the baby of the group a very tall very handsome baby, noodly limbs but like….graceful noodle because he’s a great dancer so he’s like those dancing noodles in front of gas stations, he makes fun of everyone and probably roasts all of exo daily but he’s a big baby so he loves his boys a lot and probably cries while watching lilo and stitch because ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten, he has terrible selfie skills and has a thing for white girls (nothing wrong with liking white girls but he liked a kylie jenner thing once ??? i guess god doesn’t give with two hands?) , sometimes he looks mean as hell but remember he is just a big baby please handle with care

kai: his real name is jongin, he has beautiful tan skin and he is living proof that god really DOES give with two hands because he is both beautiful and also sweet as hell and also handsome and sarcastic funny??, during interviews he’s always staring intently at the person talking because he doesn’t want to miss a single word like what kind of Angel™?, his only flaw is that he doesn’t like wearing socks and he’d probably fall asleep in ur lap whenever possible at the most inopportune moments, he dances Great and the way he moves his body??? boy was born for the stage he draws your eyes immediately during performances, he has fluffy lips and fluffy hair and the deadliest Gaze when he looks straight into the camera, obsessed with dogs he has like 3 and he’d steal sehun’s dog vivi if he could lets be real maybe he’s just a bunch of dogs operating a human suit in order to take over the world? plausible theory, one time he had to be locked in a room by the staff so he’d stay and finish his vlive broadcast, all he does is laugh that cute dorky laugh (search it up because i’m literally sitting here typing this and hearing his laugh in my head it’s so distinct and memorable wow), he’s probably a goddamn hipster and into slam poetry…love it

D.O.: aka kyungsoo, literally good at EVERYTHING he does, dancing??? YES!!! singing??? a LEGEND! acting???? A KING OF KINGS WHERE THE OSCAR AT??!!!!, pretends he hates exo but he actually runs fyexo on the side, probably has his calendar filled out with the release dates of all of the other member’s solo stuff so he can listen/watch right away and then pretend like he didn’t because he cares more than anyone but he’s not about to show it, has pretty heart-shaped lips and big eyes and never dyes his hair a different color anymore it’s always black, recently got a terrible haircut that tested my love but then he showed his forehead and the world was good again, born january 12 1993 which is also the day zayn malik was born and i wholeheartedly believe there is a Reason for this, has the softest smoothest chocolaty velvet voice on earth and i could listen to him say baby girl and senorita for the rest of my life, BIG SMILE, people talk about satansoo and maybe he’s evil because he’s a capricorn and short as hell (therefore full of lots of inner anger) but i truly believe he’s just a small bean with a big smile and a bigger heart who’s kinda into platonic bdsm

chanyeol: oh boy where do we start, main rapper, a meme, got big ass eyes, a very tall baby but in the sense that he’s like 85% legs 20% ears and 50% In His Feelings At All Times, cries about everything, he’s allergic to dogs and cats but he Endures the pain just so he can hold his family dog like………that’s cute, he’s noodly and not even a graceful noodle just 85% noodle legs hurdling through life at too-fast speeds that his legs cannot keep up with but thankfully he is trying, HIS ARMS ARE SO THICK, he owns this one black sweatshirt and wears it all the damn time yet he’s owns a rolex who is he, like he literally wears the same outfit for days i bet he’s always skipping laundry day, he composes and writes music and plays like 10 instruments some of which include the guitar, piano, my heart, etc, awkward as hell, part of 92/beagle line and probably loud and giggly as hell too, a crier, his news anchor sister is really hot i stan his sister, DJs at exo concerts and let me tell u….boy knows how to Kick Ass, VOICE SO DEEP YOU’LL START RECITING POETRY FOR JONGIN’S SLAM POETRY SESSIONS

chen: real name is jongdae, smiles like :3, HIS VOCALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD, his voice feels like taking 6 shots at once and you’re good until you stand up and everything hits you at once and you’re bouncing off the walls maybe possibly crying, small but full of roasts, looks like he gives the sweetest hug gentle and soft while he rubs your back, probably smells really nice, the whiniest voice ever, *jongdae voice* whyyyyyyyyy, *jongdae voice* [screaming], screams a lot, have you ever listened to jongdae’s solo “uprising” because he truly busted my fucking ears once and it was the best experience of my life, secretly aspires to be in a heavy metal band and was probably the sole reason why exo did a heavy metal version of mama during an awards show, he has a square jaw and curly lips and pretty eyelashes and he gives off this very serene vibe, part of 92/beagle line, I LOVE IT WHEN HE SMILES, honestly the sweetest boy, everyone calls him the mom of the group he’s literally the mom friend who doesn’t love the mom friend, ripped his pants during mama 2016 and kept his cool thru creating a skirt w his jacket on the spot, snarky as shit 10/10 would recommend, doesn’t have an instagram?? for why??

baekhyun: LOUD AS SHIT, a sweetheart, he has the prettiest hands, used to be cute and then decided to gym so now he’s cute but also hot, lotto baekhyun=hot pirate shirt baekhyun, he literally has an entire series where he plays league of legends with heechul and invites random people to play embarrassing games and scream with, jongdae was on one episode and they screamed together and it was beautiful exo’s harmonies are legendary, dance line passing, exo m passing, moodmaker which means he makes CORNY ASS JOKES AND I’M WHIPPED SO I LAUGH, connoisseur of stanning girl groups and always doing girl group dances, a focking dweeb, BIG RECTANGULAR SMILE ALL TEETH SHINY AS HELL CHIP SKYLARK WROTE MY SHINY TEETH AND ME ABOUT BAEKHYUN, probably thinks lightning mcqueen is cute and jongdae the type to agree, has a literal daddy kink and flaunts it on instagram.com, he is literally ALWAYS talking, not sure if he knows how to not talk, like you see the guy always talking in exo videos and he has a loud voice? that’s baekhyun (not the one screaming at extreme decibels but the guy sceaming at slightly lower than extreme decibels), highly endearing, baekhyun flirts with everyone trust me im an expert, does embarrassing things on purpose and then gets embarrassed two minutes later and repeats process every day, a Relatable Meme, 92/beagle line member #3

lay: real name is yixing, last Chinese member left, HARDWORKING, ANGEL, GOD SENT HIM TO US TO SHOW US THAT HUMANS CAN BE GOOD, a part of dance line and his dancing is so good to watch it’s sharp and precise and his hip thrusts *fans self while baekhyun fans himself on the other side of the world*, always looks like he’s spitting straight fire at awards show speeches, pointing up during speeches to show that exo is #1, soooo hardworking he’s made his own studio and released his own solo album and acts and does variety in china and travels back and forth between exo and solo activities and is always thinking about his exo boys while thinking of his fans (xingmis), KING, according to exo he has a thing for spreading their ass cheeks, calls it ‘refreshing’ but im pretty sure he just has a kink, has tired droopy looking eyes its cute, literal human incarnation of those “[takes a hit from bong] how do my feet smell if they don’t have a nose?”, super chill like he that dude who’d just sit through the end of the world and you’d be like….tru…and join him in Chill Bliss while the world falls apart around you

suho: aka Junmyeon (Joonmyun is another way to spell it), suho means “guardian angel” because he thinks he’s a guardian angel and PLOT TWIST HE IS!!! HE IS EXO’S ANGEL AND HE TAKES CARE OF THEM BY NAGGING AND LISTENNING AND BEING SWEET AND MAKING DAD JOKES, dad joke example #1: when someone asked him what park they should go to while they were in nyc and he said “linkin park” i kid u not i am not making this shit up, he’s very, very pretty like SOOOO HANDSOME kinda looks like the guy who’d be your suga daddy tbh, he is exo’s self-proclaimed funniest member and tbh he truly is the funniest member his dad jokes are out of this world exo can suck it, smol pal, he’s the leader of the group and the rest of exo like to roast him but tbh he’s the best leader and i will always have a soft spot for him ever since that time when krisgate happened and exo won for overdose and he went up on stage all alone to accept the award and the way he held it together so well for everyone, his band himself and the fans, was the most heartbreaking thing ever i love kim junmyeon he’s just a loving single dad trying to make it out there in this cruel worl

Xiumin: aka Minseok, he looks like a cute bun but he’s actually the oldest and is so beefed up he could probably beat u up and ur grandchildren’s children would feel it, LITERALLY SOOOOO HOT, he used to be really quiet during debut and he is still kinda quiet but he’s been working on it and doing much better and exo supports him thru it, honestly its the quiet ones u gotta watch for boy probably gathers all the tea on the rest of exo and spills it at isac when no one is watching, YALL SEEN THOSE PICS OF KANGAROOS, that’s minseok he’s cute like a kangaroo but he can also murder u with a pinky finger and u would probably thank him not gonna lie, he has pretty slanted eyes and he’s a really good dancer and he has a lovely voice AND HE CAN WRAP example #2 of god truly giving with two hands, he loves sports and back before luhangate he and luhan were literally inseparable #bffs4lyfe, the CUTEST SMILE IN EXISTENCE, WHEN HE SMILES WARS END, literally everyone is under this boy’s spell like minseok barely does variety he showed up on running man once for .02 seconds in a clip he wasnt even invited to the show and he trended for like a whole day, he ate mocha bread on xoxo and mocha bread sold out everywhere, he is literally the chuck norris of exo, he’s always trending for breathing it’s beautful and relatable me too south korea

ex members: so they were all apart of exo m (exo’s chinese subunit who promoted in china), exo m also includes xiumin, chen, and lay, the rest of the members above were in exo k, who mainly promoted in south korea

tao: aka zitao, A BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY, BABIER THAN SEHUN EVEN THO HE’S LIKE…KYUNGSOO’S AGE, he’s got a cat-like face, pretty tanned skin, and he was super tall, king of being a wushu master, basically he’s entirely capable of kicking ass wherever he goes but he’s scared of everything, couldn’t shower alone back in the old days, everyone loved taking caring of him, suho was literally his mother, he looked scary during debut era because of his emo hair, but he’s the biggest baby ever and he and sehun made up the raddest baby club ever, they rode around in expensive cars just to get food from the convenience store, dramatique as hell, i really really liked his rapping he had flow it was great also his iconic part in growl….binch, RED HAIR TAO………GODS GIFT, HIS MUSIC NOW IS LIKE…..culture shock he’s a smol baby but those mvs m’dude, i miss him

luhan: apparently hes a fkn freak have you heard his new songs, “put in work like the renaissance move that body like a gymnahst ask me what i want  lalalalala blow me like a flute WOO OoooooOOOHOHHOOH show me what IT do oooohoooh” Lu by Luhan (2015), ok like he was literally so iconic???, cute face like honestly so gorgeous but he always had this obsession with being MANLY, he and his manly BRO MINSEOK would do BRO things like Coffee BRODATES and play soccer together and hang out under BROBRELLAS at isac, he’s good at acting and making it in a matt damon movie yes binch, i loved his voice it was sweet and harmonized so well with jongdae’s voice and yixing’s, he genuinely had the sweetest friendships with his bros, A LITERAL MEME RUNNING MAN LUHAN WAS ICONIC , he doesn’t know what he’s doing w his face and is constantly derping its beautiful, literally the original exo meme face tbh, white producer: luhan you’re the best! luhan: [hits the whip nervously], i miss him so much omg

kris: aka Kris Wu or Wu Yifan some say kevin was also a name…. a man of many names, luhan might have been the original exo meme face but kris was the original extra ass meme, obsessed with space and the biggest dork in the world (universe), his relationship with the boys was like….so beautiful….and its been nearly three years but it always warms my hort, a really good actor he’s making it big out there, SOME TIMES HE’D WEAR THE UGLIEST SHIT TO THE AIRPORT AND HONESTLY….IT WAS WILD HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A FASHION ICON, HONESTLY kris in exo showtime was the most iconic thing i’ve ever seen, exo’s other dad or now it’s exo’s ex dad, probably shared dad jokes with suho when they’d have their dad meetings, he’s otherworldly hot and he has these piercing eyes and he went bald for like a month after leaving exo but now he’s making it big in a vin diesel movie with my girl deepika #bless, krisgate was literally the wildest thing he exposed sm and i still get war flashbacks about it, rip exo m(emories), i miss him too but they’re all doing good out there so its fine