#me: [thru tears] e-x-o we are one binhch
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incorrectexoquotes · 8 years ago
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Hi I'm new to exo and there's so many members (not that I'm complaining) I was wondering if u can tell me about the personalities and distinct features to help me remember their names??? Thx~ Also I understand their used to be 12 members and if u can include the ex-members that would the dope~
IM LATE BUT BUCKLE UP BABE WE’RE IN FOR A RIDE THIS IS LONG
sehun: he is the baby of the group a very tall very handsome baby, noodly limbs but like….graceful noodle because he’s a great dancer so he’s like those dancing noodles in front of gas stations, he makes fun of everyone and probably roasts all of exo daily but he’s a big baby so he loves his boys a lot and probably cries while watching lilo and stitch because ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten, he has terrible selfie skills and has a thing for white girls (nothing wrong with liking white girls but he liked a kylie jenner thing once ??? i guess god doesn’t give with two hands?) , sometimes he looks mean as hell but remember he is just a big baby please handle with care
kai: his real name is jongin, he has beautiful tan skin and he is living proof that god really DOES give with two hands because he is both beautiful and also sweet as hell and also handsome and sarcastic funny??, during interviews he’s always staring intently at the person talking because he doesn’t want to miss a single word like what kind of Angel™?, his only flaw is that he doesn’t like wearing socks and he’d probably fall asleep in ur lap whenever possible at the most inopportune moments, he dances Great and the way he moves his body??? boy was born for the stage he draws your eyes immediately during performances, he has fluffy lips and fluffy hair and the deadliest Gaze when he looks straight into the camera, obsessed with dogs he has like 3 and he’d steal sehun’s dog vivi if he could lets be real maybe he’s just a bunch of dogs operating a human suit in order to take over the world? plausible theory, one time he had to be locked in a room by the staff so he’d stay and finish his vlive broadcast, all he does is laugh that cute dorky laugh (search it up because i’m literally sitting here typing this and hearing his laugh in my head it’s so distinct and memorable wow), he’s probably a goddamn hipster and into slam poetry…love it
D.O.: aka kyungsoo, literally good at EVERYTHING he does, dancing??? YES!!! singing??? a LEGEND! acting???? A KING OF KINGS WHERE THE OSCAR AT??!!!!, pretends he hates exo but he actually runs fyexo on the side, probably has his calendar filled out with the release dates of all of the other member’s solo stuff so he can listen/watch right away and then pretend like he didn’t because he cares more than anyone but he’s not about to show it, has pretty heart-shaped lips and big eyes and never dyes his hair a different color anymore it’s always black, recently got a terrible haircut that tested my love but then he showed his forehead and the world was good again, born january 12 1993 which is also the day zayn malik was born and i wholeheartedly believe there is a Reason for this, has the softest smoothest chocolaty velvet voice on earth and i could listen to him say baby girl and senorita for the rest of my life, BIG SMILE, people talk about satansoo and maybe he’s evil because he’s a capricorn and short as hell (therefore full of lots of inner anger) but i truly believe he’s just a small bean with a big smile and a bigger heart who’s kinda into platonic bdsm
chanyeol: oh boy where do we start, main rapper, a meme, got big ass eyes, a very tall baby but in the sense that he’s like 85% legs 20% ears and 50% In His Feelings At All Times, cries about everything, he’s allergic to dogs and cats but he Endures the pain just so he can hold his family dog like………that’s cute, he’s noodly and not even a graceful noodle just 85% noodle legs hurdling through life at too-fast speeds that his legs cannot keep up with but thankfully he is trying, HIS ARMS ARE SO THICK, he owns this one black sweatshirt and wears it all the damn time yet he’s owns a rolex who is he, like he literally wears the same outfit for days i bet he’s always skipping laundry day, he composes and writes music and plays like 10 instruments some of which include the guitar, piano, my heart, etc, awkward as hell, part of 92/beagle line and probably loud and giggly as hell too, a crier, his news anchor sister is really hot i stan his sister, DJs at exo concerts and let me tell u….boy knows how to Kick Ass, VOICE SO DEEP YOU’LL START RECITING POETRY FOR JONGIN’S SLAM POETRY SESSIONS
chen: real name is jongdae, smiles like :3, HIS VOCALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD, his voice feels like taking 6 shots at once and you’re good until you stand up and everything hits you at once and you’re bouncing off the walls maybe possibly crying, small but full of roasts, looks like he gives the sweetest hug gentle and soft while he rubs your back, probably smells really nice, the whiniest voice ever, *jongdae voice* whyyyyyyyyy, *jongdae voice* [screaming], screams a lot, have you ever listened to jongdae’s solo “uprising” because he truly busted my fucking ears once and it was the best experience of my life, secretly aspires to be in a heavy metal band and was probably the sole reason why exo did a heavy metal version of mama during an awards show, he has a square jaw and curly lips and pretty eyelashes and he gives off this very serene vibe, part of 92/beagle line, I LOVE IT WHEN HE SMILES, honestly the sweetest boy, everyone calls him the mom of the group he’s literally the mom friend who doesn’t love the mom friend, ripped his pants during mama 2016 and kept his cool thru creating a skirt w his jacket on the spot, snarky as shit 10/10 would recommend, doesn’t have an instagram?? for why??
baekhyun: LOUD AS SHIT, a sweetheart, he has the prettiest hands, used to be cute and then decided to gym so now he’s cute but also hot, lotto baekhyun=hot pirate shirt baekhyun, he literally has an entire series where he plays league of legends with heechul and invites random people to play embarrassing games and scream with, jongdae was on one episode and they screamed together and it was beautiful exo’s harmonies are legendary, dance line passing, exo m passing, moodmaker which means he makes CORNY ASS JOKES AND I’M WHIPPED SO I LAUGH, connoisseur of stanning girl groups and always doing girl group dances, a focking dweeb, BIG RECTANGULAR SMILE ALL TEETH SHINY AS HELL CHIP SKYLARK WROTE MY SHINY TEETH AND ME ABOUT BAEKHYUN, probably thinks lightning mcqueen is cute and jongdae the type to agree, has a literal daddy kink and flaunts it on instagram.com, he is literally ALWAYS talking, not sure if he knows how to not talk, like you see the guy always talking in exo videos and he has a loud voice? that’s baekhyun (not the one screaming at extreme decibels but the guy sceaming at slightly lower than extreme decibels), highly endearing, baekhyun flirts with everyone trust me im an expert, does embarrassing things on purpose and then gets embarrassed two minutes later and repeats process every day, a Relatable Meme, 92/beagle line member #3
lay: real name is yixing, last Chinese member left, HARDWORKING, ANGEL, GOD SENT HIM TO US TO SHOW US THAT HUMANS CAN BE GOOD, a part of dance line and his dancing is so good to watch it’s sharp and precise and his hip thrusts *fans self while baekhyun fans himself on the other side of the world*, always looks like he’s spitting straight fire at awards show speeches, pointing up during speeches to show that exo is #1, soooo hardworking he’s made his own studio and released his own solo album and acts and does variety in china and travels back and forth between exo and solo activities and is always thinking about his exo boys while thinking of his fans (xingmis), KING, according to exo he has a thing for spreading their ass cheeks, calls it ‘refreshing’ but im pretty sure he just has a kink, has tired droopy looking eyes its cute, literal human incarnation of those “[takes a hit from bong] how do my feet smell if they don’t have a nose?”, super chill like he that dude who’d just sit through the end of the world and you’d be like….tru…and join him in Chill Bliss while the world falls apart around you
suho: aka Junmyeon (Joonmyun is another way to spell it), suho means “guardian angel” because he thinks he’s a guardian angel and PLOT TWIST HE IS!!! HE IS EXO’S ANGEL AND HE TAKES CARE OF THEM BY NAGGING AND LISTENNING AND BEING SWEET AND MAKING DAD JOKES, dad joke example #1: when someone asked him what park they should go to while they were in nyc and he said “linkin park” i kid u not i am not making this shit up, he’s very, very pretty like SOOOO HANDSOME kinda looks like the guy who’d be your suga daddy tbh, he is exo’s self-proclaimed funniest member and tbh he truly is the funniest member his dad jokes are out of this world exo can suck it, smol pal, he’s the leader of the group and the rest of exo like to roast him but tbh he’s the best leader and i will always have a soft spot for him ever since that time when krisgate happened and exo won for overdose and he went up on stage all alone to accept the award and the way he held it together so well for everyone, his band himself and the fans, was the most heartbreaking thing ever i love kim junmyeon he’s just a loving single dad trying to make it out there in this cruel worl
Xiumin: aka Minseok, he looks like a cute bun but he’s actually the oldest and is so beefed up he could probably beat u up and ur grandchildren’s children would feel it, LITERALLY SOOOOO HOT, he used to be really quiet during debut and he is still kinda quiet but he’s been working on it and doing much better and exo supports him thru it, honestly its the quiet ones u gotta watch for boy probably gathers all the tea on the rest of exo and spills it at isac when no one is watching, YALL SEEN THOSE PICS OF KANGAROOS, that’s minseok he’s cute like a kangaroo but he can also murder u with a pinky finger and u would probably thank him not gonna lie, he has pretty slanted eyes and he’s a really good dancer and he has a lovely voice AND HE CAN WRAP example #2 of god truly giving with two hands, he loves sports and back before luhangate he and luhan were literally inseparable #bffs4lyfe, the CUTEST SMILE IN EXISTENCE, WHEN HE SMILES WARS END, literally everyone is under this boy’s spell like minseok barely does variety he showed up on running man once for .02 seconds in a clip he wasnt even invited to the show and he trended for like a whole day, he ate mocha bread on xoxo and mocha bread sold out everywhere, he is literally the chuck norris of exo, he’s always trending for breathing it’s beautful and relatable me too south korea
ex members: so they were all apart of exo m (exo’s chinese subunit who promoted in china), exo m also includes xiumin, chen, and lay, the rest of the members above were in exo k, who mainly promoted in south korea
tao: aka zitao, A BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY, BABIER THAN SEHUN EVEN THO HE’S LIKE…KYUNGSOO’S AGE, he’s got a cat-like face, pretty tanned skin, and he was super tall, king of being a wushu master, basically he’s entirely capable of kicking ass wherever he goes but he’s scared of everything, couldn’t shower alone back in the old days, everyone loved taking caring of him, suho was literally his mother, he looked scary during debut era because of his emo hair, but he’s the biggest baby ever and he and sehun made up the raddest baby club ever, they rode around in expensive cars just to get food from the convenience store, dramatique as hell, i really really liked his rapping he had flow it was great also his iconic part in growl….binch, RED HAIR TAO………GODS GIFT, HIS MUSIC NOW IS LIKE…..culture shock he’s a smol baby but those mvs m’dude, i miss him
luhan: apparently hes a fkn freak have you heard his new songs, “put in work like the renaissance move that body like a gymnahst ask me what i want  lalalalala blow me like a flute WOO OoooooOOOHOHHOOH show me what IT do oooohoooh” Lu by Luhan (2015), ok like he was literally so iconic???, cute face like honestly so gorgeous but he always had this obsession with being MANLY, he and his manly BRO MINSEOK would do BRO things like Coffee BRODATES and play soccer together and hang out under BROBRELLAS at isac, he’s good at acting and making it in a matt damon movie yes binch, i loved his voice it was sweet and harmonized so well with jongdae’s voice and yixing’s, he genuinely had the sweetest friendships with his bros, A LITERAL MEME RUNNING MAN LUHAN WAS ICONIC , he doesn’t know what he’s doing w his face and is constantly derping its beautiful, literally the original exo meme face tbh, white producer: luhan you’re the best! luhan: [hits the whip nervously], i miss him so much omg
kris: aka Kris Wu or Wu Yifan some say kevin was also a name…. a man of many names, luhan might have been the original exo meme face but kris was the original extra ass meme, obsessed with space and the biggest dork in the world (universe), his relationship with the boys was like….so beautiful….and its been nearly three years but it always warms my hort, a really good actor he’s making it big out there, SOME TIMES HE’D WEAR THE UGLIEST SHIT TO THE AIRPORT AND HONESTLY….IT WAS WILD HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A FASHION ICON, HONESTLY kris in exo showtime was the most iconic thing i’ve ever seen, exo’s other dad or now it’s exo’s ex dad, probably shared dad jokes with suho when they’d have their dad meetings, he’s otherworldly hot and he has these piercing eyes and he went bald for like a month after leaving exo but now he’s making it big in a vin diesel movie with my girl deepika #bless, krisgate was literally the wildest thing he exposed sm and i still get war flashbacks about it, rip exo m(emories), i miss him too but they’re all doing good out there so its fine
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