#i think im scared
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loud noises make it stop
#i think im scared#im really bad at emotions but i wanna hide and my eyes have widened and my senses are more sense-y#and also im frozen#make the loud noises stop#i thought i was safe in my comfy spot with my comfy music doin comfy things#but now someone's doin fireworks#three pigeons in a trench coat
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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy
#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3#mine#cats#brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY#we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u#i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful#i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff#maybe....maybe next time#i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it#bc i . do not know what im doing :3
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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i'm collapsing with my one secret
#project sekai#prosekai#prjsk#prsk#niigo#nightcord#25ji#n25#25 ji nightcord de#nightcord at 25:00#kanade yoisaki#mafuyu asahina#ena shinonome#mizuki akiyama#kaito#niigo kaito#my art#IM INSANEEEEEEEEE#THIS EVENT WAS CRAZYYYYYY#IT SCARED ME SO BAD#glad to finally be here to witness a monumental event i think the last time for me was immiscible discord#anyways cant wait for ena5.............
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sorry that took like an hour i stopped to eat dinner heres my idea
#my art#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#trans#lesbian#petrigrof#ion think i needa tag this for anything theyre both clothed & its not suggestive#i think simon isnt scared of needles but he cant make himself do it himself so betty does it for him#idk how he got by before meeting betty#i also dont think i needa tag this for eva spoilers considering it came out uh#28 years ago#FUCK I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE COMIC HOLD ON#ok 10 min later im back#also i think this kinda implies golbetty is flesh underneath like an eva#ok i think thats all#and in case i dont see you good morning good evening and goodnight
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lost child
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#i forgot to record the speedpaint :(#whatever im kinda proud if this one#anyone else thinks ab young siffrin right after the island dissappeared arriving in vaugarde with no knowledge of the language#of himself#or of how he ended up there#ever think about how scared and confused they mustve been#how it probably took them years to be able to communicate smoothly and be able to move freely#about how with the island not only did they lose their home and family and friends but also themselves#their personality#their language#EVERYTHING.#god siffrin u make me so sick i cant do this
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my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(
#decadentart#bloodborne#retired hunter djura#he makes me so sick hes actually so fucking sweet when i think about it#Yes i gave her a skirt. whenever i draw the people of old yharnam i slways give tbem little accesories :)#the colors are a bit wonky because i intially drew it Reeaaalllyy Dark also idk i picked out some weird ass colors for the pallete#every time you shoot him off that tower an angel looses its wings#legimitately got upset when i killed him for his set#made sure he didnt fall to his death though. thats called bullying when you knock him off btw#also yeah i hc that the beasts are chill w him . and slso he knows all of their names#first maintagged art on this blog. shudders. i hope the fans dont eat me alive im serious you guys scare me#the halo was necessary btw#so anxious…. SEND IT! RAHHH!!! MY AUTISM BLAST GO!
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.
Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.
#first of all absolutely no hate to izuocha#i actually really like them together romantically or not. i love their dynamic so much#but you must know just how hilarious and absurd it is#that this series started with them crushing on each other#and then ochako's attraction to deku became an important part of her character#BUT they completely turn it around and made it about#deku's meaning as a hero and being saved#and ochakos expression of love and understanding others#like. that is legit very compelling and a beautiful relationship#but they did not become A Couple. at least- nothing confirms nor denies it#just like how a queerbait relationship would be#absolutely hilarious. i honestly love how it ended like this#doesnt mean i love the ending tho. oh boy its weird and legit bad in many areas#But this? My god I am so fucking sold.#God bless izuocha bakudeku and togachako i love you all#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#mha 430#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#tgck#togachako#i dont think I'll tag izuocha cus...im scared#i really dont hate it guys I promise I dont#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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Hi quick message for any minors that see this. As an adult in fandom spaces I get a lot of minors (i dont know if theyre kids or teenagers and frankly its none of my business) wanting to befriend me fairly often. I can tell you I don't intend on harming you at all, but the thing is, you dont know that for sure, in fact, you cant be sure about the intentions of anyone on the internet, so please, for your own safety, be careful when approaching adults in fandom spaces. I'm not saying you can't interact with us, in my case you're actually welcome to interact freely with my posts! But be mindful that there's people who could harm you, and these people will take advantage of the fact that you want to approach them. So please, take care of yourself, and always keep in mind that this person you're interacting with, if they're an adult, they naturally hold a position above you, that's just how things are, you are a child, they're an adult, so don't give them the chance to take advantage of that position.
#sorry im just thinking ab it#i often get minors trying to talk to me#and it kind of scares me how eager they seem to befriend me. like. a complete stranger#and again you cant know for sure whos creepy and whos not so just be careful with everyone
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Legend tells of the carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate at the crest of a river and became a stand up comedian.
#also toyed with calling this comic riddle of the sphinx#but that had a little too much reference already associated with it#comic#comics#sphinx#dragon#ive been thinking so much about humor as related to the tortured artist and comedians and poets as sad artists etc etc#and how often that can be true but how this predominant cultural vision pigeonholes comedy as a low art or even just one you have to just#'be talented' at intrinsically. or even 'be sad enough' to be good at#instead of a craft you hone and an artform itself#this comic isnt exactly about that.#but it's related#it's more about... two very different kinds of people. but who are the same kind of artist#if that makes sense#and literally being scared of what you want#art tag#sequential art#personal comic#quite happy with how this one turned out. im excited to have made it i feel like its really different than my usual comics
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sif is almost just as mentally stable as me
#i was like. nah im not gonna draw more for now. welp. didnt work out#ive been scared of posting art recently and i really procrastinated with posting that odile pic (i made that like two weeks ago)#but like. might as well post it. i guess. oumngsmnnnn anguish noises#siffrin just like me recently (recently as in: the past seven years)#anyway#in stars and time#isat#no spoilers i think. just general Siffrin Being Mentally Unstable#isat siffrin#isat odile#drawinsometimez#im going to sleep goodinght
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Okay, I’m so gonna get hate for this. And it will probably get about 4 notes. This is, by far, the most opinionated thing I have ever posted on here. If you can’t tolerate criticism towards Rick Riordan, the books, or the TV show, please keep scrolling. My goal is NOT to change your mind or start arguments.
I also want to preface this by saying that I love and respect Rick Riordan (even if I disagree with him on things and don’t like some of his choices) and fully acknowledge that he has the right to do whatever the hell he pleases with his own series. I also want to say that I love Annabeth Chase (both the book and tv show version) with my entire being and you will never find me being an Annabeth hater. She’s my girl.
We good? Okay cool. So here’s the thing: I’ve seen a lot of people on here saying things like “If you didn’t like the books, you just don’t know how to have fun,” and “The new book haters are just mad that they aren’t the target audience anymore,” and (my personal favorite) “Nothing in the books has changed, only the readers have.”
And while I see your points, and I respect you, allow me to show you something. Because of the 10 picture limit, I am only going to focus on one specific change: Annabeth’s view of Percy.
WOTTG: Annabeth is surprised to be comforted by Percy
Past Books: Percy is constantly comforting Annabeth
WOTTG: Annabeth is shocked when Percy is smart
Past Books: Annabeth often points out that Percy is intelligent
WOTTG: Annabeth thinks Percy can’t do anything on his own, and Rick communicates that Annabeth is always saving his ass
Past Books: Percy is ALWAYS watching her back, and saving her ass just as much (and Annabeth admits that)
I could put a hundred quotes in here. I could go on and on and on. But I can’t, and I won’t.
My problem with this new book is NOT that it is more goofy than serious. My problem is NOT that little things have changed. My problem is NOT that it’s just for fun. My problem is NOT that it’s much more childish. (And by the way, I’ve read PJO and HOO as an adult, so it’s not like I was a child when I read everything else and am now an adult reading the new ones.) I really did like and enjoy many parts of this book.
My problem is that the characters (especially Annabeth) have flat out changed—in bad ways—and we have no choice but to accept it as canon. My problem is that Rick, while trying to merge his books with his new TV show project, is changing the entire personalities and past behaviors/ tendencies of the characters.
I loved Chalice of the Gods. You know why? It was fun, goofy, and showed the characters that we know and love being happy and adorable. I strongly dislike Wrath of the Triple Godess because the characters—no matter how adorable and happy they might be—are no longer the ones we know and love.
My problem is that Rick Riordan fully admitted that he no longer considers the old book characters when he writes the new books. He is now purposefully incorporating his own personal mixture of the book characters and tv characters and writing those versions instead. Because of his desire to change and transform the series, I doubt he’s even read the original PJO or HOO books in years, which is why everything is so inconsistent. The old book characters—the ones who made the series what it was—are gone. And that is not my opinion. Rick fully admits that he doesn’t imagine them when he writes anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the tv show actors. I adore Walker and Leah and Aryan with my whole heart, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But the fact is: they will never be exactly like the book characters. It’s impossible for actors to become the words on a page. They’re their own unique version! And likewise, you cannot turn actors into print. It doesn’t work! And why would you try? The books versions were perfect as they were. And the disney kids need to make the characters their own. The two versions can exist side by side, equally as wonderful, and still be gloriously different. We should celebrate the uniqueness of both. But instead, Rick is attempting to merge them into one. And in my opinion, it’s just hurting them both. And I’m gonna get real brave by saying this, but do you want my honest prediction? If he keeps doing what he’s doing now, the TV show is going to get cancelled and the books are going to turn into a joke. I so, so badly hope that this doesn’t happen! I have loved Rick and PJO for many, many years. I badly want both to thrive. But what is going on right now… it is not working, no matter how much we all want it to. And speaking as someone who knows people in the TV/Film industry, I am sadly not the only one who thinks the show is gonna flop. Which is devastating, because Rick Riordan deserves a redemption on the big screen, and the incredible actors deserve to bring this series to life in a new way.
I am not trying to force my opinions onto anybody. You are welcome to disagree with me and move on. I am not saying that I’m right and you’re wrong. If you disagree, that’s okay. If you agree but you don’t have a problem with it, that’s okay. In fact if other people have literally no issues, that makes me somewhat happy. And if you loved the book, I’m honestly so stoked for you. Feel free to just keep on scrolling, my friend.
But me? I’m sad. I’m really, really freaking sad. And I’m a little angry too, even if I don’t have a right to be. I can’t help it because I’m only human. But this is how I—and a lot of other people—feel. And you know what? That’s okay too. Because the fact of the matter is:
Annabeth isn’t the same Annabeth anymore. And Percy isn’t the same Percy anymore. And it’s not because they went through trauma, or because time has passed. It’s because Rick Riordan doesn’t have any interest in writing those versions of them anymore. And I think the comparisons between the old and the new show that fact pretty clearly.
#okay i’m deleting tumblr now#i’m too scared for the hate so i will be absent lol#I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO DESTROY RICK I LOVE HIM#but i think he needs to be more loyal to the old fanbase that has been so loyal to him#or not that’s fine too#i could give you guys more book quotes#i could make a whole other post on how percy has changed#but i’m not sure anyone wants that#so for now i will try and shut up#wottg#wrath of the triple goddess#and run very very quickly#pjo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordan#riordanverse
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if magneto knew what the internet was then he would post to r/aita as often as possible and all his posts would be the top posts of the year. thats the kind of drama hes going through. he also gets permabanned from r/mutants for advocating violence
#.din#.txt#marvel#x men#GD I FORGOT HOW OFTEN XAVIER USED HIS GO GO GADGET PTSD ON MAGNETO IN THIS SERIES. JESUS CHRIST.#im scared of getting gwenpool'd into the marvel universe cause thatd be the first thing id think of if i met professor x#and like what if he hadnt used his go go gadget ptsd telepathy yet in that universe?#would i be responsible for teaching him how to give magneto war flashbacks?#would he be offended that i thought about it? might be worse if he wasnt honestly.#that would be my first five questions but my hand would be covering my mouth so hed be reading my mind.#< as in the go go gadget war flashbacks would be my first five questions i mean
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my personal fave "luffy holds a mirror up to someone's soul" moments. aka the whole point i think
#guy who is really good at identifying the things you want but are too scared to admit to yourself. hi luffy#its literally the whole point though. i am so charmed by the he wont help until you ask thing. or until you say out loud what you want#ive been ticking them off in my head but i remember getting to sanji's in the anime like HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS#one piece#oh god now i have to tag every girl he did this to and sanji. he does ALSO do it to momonusuke but i didn't screen grab that#in a way. i think he does it to ace too but im not ready for that#monkey d. luffy#cat burglar nami#op nami#nico robin#op rebecca#op sanji#black leg sanji#nefertari vivi#alabasta#dressrosa#whole cake island#enies lobby#arlong park
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