#i think im just going to start using this blog for general batman stuff since i want to draw more of the other rogues too

[questionlark]

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

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@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

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Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[cryptocism]

ive been scrolling through ur blog for a while (cuz ur dc opinions are Top Fucking Notch) and i saw what you said abt bart in tt 03 and f:fma and while i totally agree (it killed tt 03 for me lol) im super curious abt how youd do his development if given the opportunity?

I’ve been thinking about this one like A Lot so buckle up this is long: 

it would kind of depend? On whether or not he’d be in an ensemble team like Teen Titans or with his own solo series. 

I understand metatextually why he became Kid Flash in TT, since they needed him to be more mature and a more recognizable character and having him upgrade costumes/codenames is a good shortcut for both. But I’ve already talked about why it didn’t sit right with me. 

So, lets flip the script a little bit - the start of TT would be largely the same. Our boy Bart is on the new Titans team, and things are kind of awkward after YJ disbanded, also Max is gone and Bart’s relationship with Wally is still not doing great. Things are rough, Bart has newfound doubts to deal with, especially now that the world seems to have gotten harsher and everyone seems to have a lot less patience to deal with him. The pressure to be more mature and a recognizable character is coming from other characters now rather than an authorial need: he’s reminded to take things seriously, or that he should know better by now, that he needs to slow down and think more. So Bart decides a change is necessary, and we get the library scene. He reads all the books, he reappears as Kid Flash, saves Tim via bullet catch, disassembles a gun, takes down Slade, etc. etc. Here’s my departure from canon though: it doesn’t work. 

Kid Flash is not a solution, or a magical cure for immaturity. Reading a whole library so he’s miraculously smarter and more mature and capable is, at its core, a pretty naive conclusion. And it makes sense he would think that. But it doesn’t work. He’s still impulsive, distractible, hasty. He can’t put a lid on his own sense of humor. People still think he’s annoying or lazy or careless. And he keeps trying - he knows all this stuff now, he read a whole library! - but he’s still apparently too much the same person as he's always been. And even though he’s trying very hard to live up to the Kid Flash name, it still doesn’t feel like him. Wally doesn’t like it, since Bart is literally just imitating him now, which makes things between the two even worse. And Bart keeps worrying about what’s supposed to come afterwards, since “Kid Flash” is inherently temporary, and while Impulse was only peripherally related to the flash legacy, Kid Flash comes with expectations. 

Bart is trying very very hard to be ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, but he hasn’t actually learned anything other than a bunch of facts (which are still useful, but) he’s just trying to be who everyone expects him to be. 

And this is what i mean about the ensemble thing, because this arc would be in conversation with the rest of the core four, who are also trying very hard to be people they’re not, but all in different ways. Bart obviously with the codename change, but Cassie, Tim, and Kon all have similar issues, they’re all trying to imitate people. 

Tim is doing his Batman jr. routine, reverting back to the persona he had at the start of YJ. He’s cagey and mysterious and does questionable things without telling anybody, because he’s de-facto leader of the team again, and he has to be better than he is. No more kid stuff, the Titans are serious, he has to treat it like a job, not like a sleepover. And this whole act is putting distance between him and his friends. 

Cassie is trying her hardest to put herself in a support role. Donna’s gone and she has some big shoes to fill (she and Tim could probably bond about that if he weren’t stubbornly trying to brood at all hours of the day) and she’s doing her best to just Be Donna. Cassie and Tim would work better with their team roles swapped, and they both sort of know this - Cassie is naturally charismatic, thinks on her feet, can maintain good PR, and when she’s confident in herself is great at leading. Tim is partial to planning ahead, secrets, and keeping in the shadows, and is better at being a confidant and emotional problem solver among the team (when he allows himself to be open among friends, that is). 

But they’re both trying to fit themselves into what they see as pre-ordained roles: Robin is leader, Wondergirl is a supportive mediator. But Cassie’s got a temper and little patience for people being idiots, and Tim’s not predisposed to spotlights. 

Kon on the other hand has a story that’s less about who he should be and more who he shouldn’t be. The Lex Luthor dad storyline is here (minus the mind control shit, although the threat of it is still brought up) and Kon is doing his level best to do nothing that could be interpreted as something Lex might do. While everyone is doing their best to Not be their own person, Kon has no idea if he ever was his own person. He’s questioning everything he does, wondering if it’s some kind of evil gene showing through when he’s angry or petty or selfish. He’s going through lots of clone angst. 

So they’re all dealing with expectations and who they are or aren’t supposed to be, trying to fit themselves into boxes that don’t suit them and then convincing themselves that this is how it ought to be. Kon ought to avoid feeling or acting in any negative light because any sign of Luthor is a sign of evil, Cassie ought to tone herself down and act like Donna, Tim ought to step up and lead the team and act like Dick, and Bart ought to listen better and be smarter and slow down and grow up and do his level best to just Be Wally. 

Throughout the issues they’d all get a spotlight on their various crises, taking them through complimenting character arcs. Kon would realize through a couple close encounters and chats with ma and pa and talks with his friends and citizens of metropolis that nobody is all good or all bad. Clark can be a real asshole sometimes and Luthor’s actually done a fair bit of good (usually in his own interests, but still we’re gunning for nuance). Turns out he doesn’t have a dark side to be tempted by, he was made from 50% complex person and 50% complex person, just like everyone else. Which means he isn’t destined to be the next Superman, or Superman’s next supervillain. He’s just like, a person. With his own thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with genetics. 

Tim would wear himself out and hide it from everybody until he killed himself, but it’s only when he sees Cassie also wearing herself out too that his ‘somebody needs somebody’ instincts kick in and they’re actually able to talk about how miserable they both are. Through some trial and error they’re able to figure out a good co-leader system for leading the team, having each other’s backs along the way, which allows for them both being able to help out the other members of their team with their own shit i.e. Kon and Bart’s identity issues. 

Bart is, like Cassie and Tim, wearing himself out trying to be this perfect version of Wally that never actually existed. He actually hates the recognition the new name gives him, because people have expectations for him now, ones he can never seem to live up to. He’s bad at following orders still, which makes him a pretty shit sidekick for Wally, in fact he’s just pretty shit at being a sidekick in general. But, he reasons, he’s supposed to be grown up and responsible now, and responsibility is all about doing shit you hate until you die, so he’s probably on the right track. 

It’s only later, once he gets some support from his friends, who help him deal with things like Max and YJ disbanding and stuff that he’s able to actually sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Wally. Wally confesses that he understands the pressure to live up to a legacy, and how he did his best to just Be Barry when he became the flash. In fact while Bart was trying to live up to Wally and be a good sidekick, Wally was trying to live up to Barry and be a good mentor. Wally’s the one to tell him that Bart’s always done his own thing, and is at his best when he does. They both agree they suck as partners, but maybe they should’ve tried to be family first. And there’s probably a racing metaphor in there somewhere because speedsters love their racing metaphors. 

ANyway Bart returns to Impulse, forging a new path, getting along better with Wally now and hanging out with him just as civilians with no pretense. He learns some valuable lessons about how maturity can’t be learned in a book, and that he’ll get it himself the more he lives and learns from experience. The Titans all get along better now that they’re all sure of their places in the group, and they can all go on just being themselves without worrying about expectations or roles to fill or whatever. 

...If Bart still had his solo series instead though, id actually want it to go in a sort of different direction? The thing about living up to predecessors and trying to be some ideal version of another person works well for the Titans because they can all deal with a similar issue in different ways, but I think it would also be interesting to do the complete opposite. 

Lots of shitty things happened in very quick succession in Bart’s life that he had no control over: Max’s disappearance, having to move in with Jay and Joan (who are nice, but whom he barely knows,) leaving his friends in Alabama, Young Justice breaking up… Basically, things kind of suck for Bart, and all he wants is for them to go back to the way they were. Instead of trying to be grown up or mature or whatever, Bart is resisting every single encroaching thing about coming adulthood. Because all growing up ever seems to mean is that everything changes and either you have to leave the people you love or they have to leave you. 

So this series would focus mostly on that, both in his civilian life; going into high school, not knowing anybody, the few friends he does make are less interested in ‘kid stuff’ and more focused on dating and interpersonal drama, high school itself seems to be geared entirely toward the “what are you going to do with your life” question, when he visits his old friends back in manchester, they’ve all kind of grown up without him. And in hero life; everyone from Young Justice is trying to move on and not talking to each other, his father figure and mentor is gone and he's not really jiving well with the rest of the flash family, and people just seem to have less patience for Impulse now that he’s older. 

Growing up is hard. It’s hard and no one understands. Especially not when you’re also a superhero and have dealt with some quality trauma like losing loved ones and feeling yourself die. So it makes sense that Bart would resist that in every way possible, do his best to pretend like everything is still how it used to be, for once in his life just trying to make everything stay put. He refuses to get rid of his old stuff, he doesn’t want to treat any villainous threats seriously, people in school keep talking about college and jobs and tuition fees and Bart wants none of that, he acts out, refuses responsibility, gets reckless under the pretense that he never used to have to be cautious. 

And this is the part where I’d bring in Inertia, cause Thad was robbed and I want him to have an actual arc that doesn’t end with infant-splosion. Also he can have a good ol companion arc to Bart. Welcome to foils everybody, where two identical boys with opposing life experiences get to thematically compare and contrast with each other as they deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up. 

So, I’m ignoring every appearance Thad ever made after Impulse 1995, picking up instead where his story left off where he swore vengeance on his creators and disappeared into the speed force. And he’s off to do exactly what he said; Thad Thawne II is going to kill his namesake/grandfather/creator - the president of Earthgov. 

But, turns out assassinating the president of a whole fucking planet is a lot harder than he thought - Thad has planned extensively for every moment of his life, so once he starts going off script things predictably go a little off the fuckin rails. Thad fails, obviously. For one because despite how much President Thawne might deserve to die, Thad at this point hasn’t done anything worse than attempted murder, and making him a killer would put a wrench in any kind of redemption arc he could have. Also he’s acting on rage, in a highly emotional state, basically going up against the entire government. Of course he’s going to get caught by the science police and brought into custody. 

Bart, meanwhile is jumping with both feet into any kind of escapism he can find, which involves various time travel shenanigans and lands him in the 30th century. He gets to reunite however briefly with his mom, but the mission he had gets derailed by the appearance of Inertia. 

Every time Bart and President Thawne interact, the president always seems to make a bid to sway Bart to the Thawne side. This never works, which is part of the reason Inertia exists in the first place; a version of Bart that the president could control. When Inertia landed in the 30th century, hell bent on assassinating his creator, the President subdued him and eventually coerced him back over to the Thawne side of the family feud. No longer a rogue agent, Inertia is back to his old self, all about destroying Bart and the rest of the Allens. 

They have a battle, taking place all over the 30th century city, and Bart does his best but Inertia has the entire Earthgov police force on his side, and Bart eventually gets captured. He gets taken to some kind of holding facility, meets with the President who monologues as him while Inertia stands beside him like a good lackey. Then suddenly the speed-inhibiting cuffs or whatever Inertia had put on Bart to stop his speed malfunctions, and Inertia drops the act, now Impulse and Inertia working together to take down the Earthgov people holding them there. 

Turns out as soon as Inertia knew he couldn’t take out the president, what with all the military force President Thawne had on his side, he bided his time until he could. He uses Bart’s help to finally get President Thawne cornered, and the assassination plan is back on track. Except now Bart is the thing stopping him. He makes the argument about how murder bad. Heroes don’t kill, etc. Inertia insists he isn’t a hero. But Bart reminds him that that’s not how Max saw him. 

Inertia hesitates just enough that President Thawne is able to get away, and now the two of them have to make an escape attempt back to the past. Bart insists on trying to take Meloni with them, and they try but ultimately fail somehow (maybe someone has to stay behind to make sure they can make the trip safely, idk. At first Thad is willing to stay behind, since there’s nothing really for him in the past. But Meloni knows that President Thawne would destroy him if he did, and she can’t let harm come to either of her sons - and she does consider Thad her son, just like Bart. She’s had far too little time with either of them, but she loves them all the same. She tells them to take care of each other, and is the first to encourage them to be like, actual brothers.) 

After yet another tearful goodbye, Bart swearing he’ll find a way for them to all be together again, Bart and Thad go back. And they do end up having to lean on each other, because shit’s tough for the both of them. Thad initially wants to apologize and possibly reunite with Max and Helen, and then finds out Max is gone. And Bart has someone who understands exactly what he’s going through. 

Things get a little more lighthearted from here. Bart and Thad don’t get along well at first, since they’re both going through rough times and lots of changes and their first instincts are to lash out at each other. But eventually they form a sort of camaraderie through shared grief, then shared fish-out-of-water experiences. Which evolves into shared inside jokes and video games and comic books and they become slow but steady friends. 

They upgrade into brothers when Bart defends Thad against the repeated (and not entirely undeserved) suspicion he receives from the rest of the Flash family. Jay and Joan take him in, but it’s clear they don’t trust him, and neither does Wally. Bart stands up for Thad, arguing that he’s as much of a Thawne as Thad is, and treating Thad like he’s the next Cobalt Blue is just going to ensure that history never changes and stupid family feuds are forever. After this, Thad starts trusting Bart a little more, and kind of solves Bart’s problems regarding encroaching adulthood with his friendship. Neither of them really had a childhood, and Thad hasn’t experienced 21st century life at all, much less the societal expectations to grow up. So Bart gets to have fun again, and Thad won't judge any of his games or his books or his attitude or interests for being childish or lame because he’s fascinated by the experience of anything regardless of the target audience. 

And from there it's a series about these two becoming brothers and growing up and the different lessons they learn and wacky characters they meet along the way. Thad ironically also puts Bart in a position where he has to take on more responsibility, since even though Thad can imitate heroic actions and is actually pretty good at it, he doesn’t understand what makes them heroic. Bart has to draw on a lot of the things Max taught him and now has to teach them to Thad. 

There’s crossover comics with Superboy, where Bart laments about having to deal with grown up stuff, and Kon gives him a new perspective on the whole “being young forever” thing, since that was a reality Kon actually had to deal with and it sucked. 

Through various misadventures they meet new and familiar characters to give them different perspectives on the whole passage of time thing. Villains who despise children or childish things, villains who embrace it but probably too much. People who talk about growing up as the worst time of their lives, others talking about it like it was the best. Kids and adults alike trying to force Bart and Thad to act a certain way while treating them another. 

The two of them come to opposing conclusions about this; Thad wants to embrace change completely, partly because he wants to experience firsthand all that life has to offer, but also his worldview depends on believing that anyone can change, and anyone can be better, because he has to believe he can be redeemed for all the shitty stuff he did. Bart, on the other hand, knows his life isn’t perfect but thinks, based on recent events, that it’s all just going to get worse from here, and so resists change as much as possible. 

Thad, in his haste to experience everything, sometimes ends up going too far, either burning both of them out, or pushing them into situations that they’re not ready for or are ill-equipped to handle. Bart, on the other hand is so resistant to change or responsibility that he stops them from doing actual necessary things like planning their futures or doing chores or making new friends. This acts as the crux for their main conflict that slowly builds throughout the series, and then in a finale to the arc, they both figure out a way to get Meloni back to the past, and to raise some stakes they have a falling out in the middle of the mission about it. 

Bart accuses Thad of trying to leave him behind, or trying to be the better version of him again, and that old insecurity about Thad replacing him crops up. Thad thinks Bart just can’t handle anything outside his personal bubble and wants to force him to live in the real world. Plus he also feels kind of abandoned by Bart, who often would leave Thad to do the scary adult things on his own. 

Tensions still high, there's suddenly an external threat to deal with - probably president thawne and the science police - and they attempt to continue arguing even while fighting the president. I’m making this up as I go so lets say yada yada big climactic moment it's looking like the two might fail to get Meloni back and they’re both still angry with each other and Bart just… can’t take it anymore. 

He keeps losing people, and the ones he keeps he always seems to screw up with. And at the end of the day he’s just a kid who wants his mom. Is that really so much to ask? So there’s a reversal, a parallel, if you will, of the assassination attempt from the beginning of the series, this time with Bart. Or, because I don’t think many people would buy that Bart would actually ever for real kill someone, maybe he’s finally about to get his mom back, but she doesn’t want to go (since she made that deal with the president that he wouldn’t harm anyone of the Allen family so long as she stayed with him) so he’s trying to force her, risking the lives/well-being of the entire Allen bloodline across all of time. 

This time it’s Thad who has to talk him down, who has to remind him about being a hero, who has to remind him that trying to go back to some magical time in the past where things were better is just going to stop him from learning and growing as a person, and that doing anything and everything possible to get there is just going to lead to Bart doing something he Actually Can’t walk back from. 

Alright but here’s the thing because having Bart be forced to leave his mom again for like the billionth time is tired and overdone, and personally the whole message about heroics involving extreme and damaging amounts of sacrifice can only go so far. So here; Thad and Bart are both right. 

Like on the one hand, yeah, it’s childish and selfish for Bart to want to be with his mom at the expense of literally everyone else in his family. On the other hand, the fact that they can’t be together because some asshole is upholding a stupid grudge is bad and unfair and wrong. The issue needing to be fixed is not the kid who wants his mom, it’s the jackass keeping them apart (and who also wants to kill/imprison people). So Bart convinces Thad that they have to save Meloni, and Thad convinces Bart that there has to be another way - one where they get their mom back and the Allens don’t have to be hunted. 

The whole story would be leading up to the two of them coming to this conclusion; the healthy middle between the two extremes. Where they have the maturity to plan ahead and sort through their differences and figure out the best course of action with the least amount of collateral, but they don’t let go of that adolescent need for justice and fairness - that thing that makes you dig in your heels and say “no. That’s not fair, that’s not right.” 

SO here’s where I’d put the title card: “Bartholomew and Thaddeus Take Down The Government”. How do they do it? No idea! I’m flyin by the seat of my pants here! Do they run for office? Do they publicize the president’s crimes in such a way he gotta go to jail? Do they somehow turn public opinion against him enough to get him out of office? idk!!! And I don’t remember enough about Earthgov’s political situation to put an accurate read on what exactly they might do to disrupt it. 

Either way they don’t kill him, manage to free their mom, and they all go back to the past together. And a new arc would involve the three of them getting settled in the past; Meloni would be a main character now, and hers is a two-pronged fish out of water story where she’s trying to figure out how shit works in the past, with overtones of the struggles of being a single parent. 

And... I’m not going to say any more about that because this is long enough already oof. 

TL;DR I think a coming of age story would be cool for Bart, and having to deal with growing up when he never really had a childhood. Also the comic itself would be aimed at younger audiences, who can probably relate to having a Bad Time in the Teens and wacky hijinks with friends and siblings.

[witnessprotectionau]

By M’gann

Welcome one, welcome all! M’gann here today, since I’m the only one in the superhero community with experience running a blog. It’s a pleasure to meet you all, even if it isn’t under the most ideal of circumstances...

This is the Justice League’s official tumblr blog! Since our identities were outed, we don’t have to worry about accidently leaking personal information anymore, and we decided to create various social media accounts so our actions are more public and available to everyone, and totally not because if we didn’t, our actions would have to be monitered by the government and none of us want people following us around at all times, or Secretary Ross anywhere close enough to have his eyes on us!! :)

(Scarlet Witch/Wanda just burst out laughing, and she doesn’t have her phone on her, so I think she’s reading my mind, now I know how it feels, but at the same time, I’m glad I made at least one person laugh with that)

If we just post what we’re up to, then we can just refuse to post about when we go to the bathroom unless it’s important, which was a big concern for us all when people following us was first brought up. But that’s besides the point!

This blog will contain all the stuff we’re posting on other social media, so you can just follow us here to get all the tea!

... My uncle just came in to inform me that those of older generations might not know what that means, and that I have to try to not leave anyone out.

‘Tea’ means gossip.

Okay, so starting off this blog with a bang, the entire superhero community (which also includes vigilantes, anti-heroes, and villains, not just superheroes, it’s just quicker to say!) decided to all create twitter accounts to post their name, if their identity was revealed and their civillian name. Now, I don’t know EVERYBODY in the community, so I put in everyone who commented superhero-like stuff on the post. I’m pretty sure that they aren’t real heroes, but it’s better safe than to be rude and exclude people! Besides, I didn’t know about the Defenders half an hour ago until I heard someone in the house exclaim that someone named Daredevil was finally getting media coverage because of this. Apparently a few people in the house were fans of him. __________

Okay, so... You guys weren’t there, but I stopped writing for a few hours to attend a justice league meeting with the avengers and quite a few other people, and here’s what was ultimately decided:

Because we have so many enemies, it isn’t safe for any of us to live alone anymore, so we’ve basically all moved in together? Well, not all of us. Those who had their identities revealed, and those who lived with them, or could have their identities revealed based on everyone else.

For example, Batman had his identity revealed, which, by the way, what???

Bruce WAYNE??

But yeah, Batman had his identity revealed, but Robin didn’t. The new Robin. Not the first one. Nightwing is his eldest son, Dick Grayson. But people can figure it out based on his height. Which, by the way... Bruce has his reasons for letting him into the community, give him some slack. He’s been getting a lot of hate from it. And speaking of Bruce Wayne, it is his manor that we’ve all moved into, since it’s large and has excellent security. I haven’t met his other kids yet, so I don’t know if they already knew their dad was Batman, and their siblings were Nightwing and Robin. I’ll ask them when they show up. __________

Okay, so I left to get food for five minutes, and when I came back, the og JL members were staring at my screen and laughing their heads off while Bruce sat by the side and scowled. So... I’m concerned. If this post never goes up, assume I’m dead.

BUT ANYWAY!!!!!!

I made everyone in the house promise not to read the comments on the original twitter post, and only read them here, as some of us wanted our accounts not to be spammed by their friends. Like, Garfield uses his account to advocate for animal rights, he doesn’t want to constantly respond to other supers’ messages. He’s too busy for that!

The mess on Twitter, as follows: __________

Youonyourphone,situpstraight! @ #1FBIAGENT Plastic Man, aka Patric O’Brian. I was outed, which makes my job VERY interesting now... (read: awkward)

Winged Warrior @ Hawkwoman ✔️ Shayera Hol. I have wings. If  you couldn’t figure out my “civillian identity” by me walking down the street, earth is too dumb to save anymore

r3d @ 70rn4d0 The children chose this name for me. Red Tornado, AKA John Smith.

Green Arrow @ notrobinhood ✔️ Oliver Queen, revealed too... Let’s hope this doesn’t affect STAR labs... Sorry PR department. :/

Adam @ DrStrangeJunior League doctor, last name strange. The avengers already have a doctor strange, and I’m younger than him, hence DrStrangJunior. I never really had a hero identity in the first place, but everyone insists that I’m a part of the group, so... yeah

Big Boy Blue @ TheREalSuperman ✔️ Clark Kent, Kal-el, Superman. Speaking of, why was @ Superman already taken?

Aquaman @ KingOfAtlantis ✔️ Even though I don’t REALLY have a secret identity, I have to do this anyway for some reason? Arthur Curry.

rocket @ PCHOOOOO raquel ervin. rocket. the only reason icon is around so bow down to me. Tim chose my name.

therapist @ capitalsareimportant Black Canary. Dinah Lance-Queen. Betcha Imma bout to lose my job.

take the shot @ harperoy Red Arrow, Will harper, Previously Speedy. I had this @ before... everything

Fastest Man Online @ 2fast2type ✔️ flash, barry allen, dying inside BECAUSEI’MLIVINGINABILLIONAIRE’SHOUSENOWANDTHEREISSOMUCHFOOD

zatanna @ annataz Only one name, Zatanna. That’s both my civillian name and my superhero name, but my stage name SOMEHOW is still a secret??? smh everyone’s blind...

cptnmarvel @ SHAZAM! Captain Marvel. The male one, since apparently I have to say that now?? My identity is still a secret tho!

Themiscyra❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 @ Wonderous ✔️ Wonder Woman. Princess Diana. However, my Civillian name is Diana Prince __________

Now, The Green Lanterns... Kilowog got an account first, and it didn’t end well... __________

Kilowog @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL ✔️ As one of the Green Lanterns assigned to this sector, I decided to join in on this internet stuff, since it seems so important to everyone on this planet. Kilowog here! Green Lantern.

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ SOMEONE stole @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL  🙄

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 ???!?!? ONE!?!?! I WAS THE FIRST HUMAN GREEN LANTERN THANK YOU VERY MUCH JOHN!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was the first thing I thought of aside from GreenLantenOFFICIAL, don’t yell at me!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ why didn’t you just do GreenLanternJohn instead of stealing what was rightfully mine?

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Hey, you aren’t the boss of @’s!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ who says I’m not?

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re obviously not!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but who says?

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Me!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but you’re not the boss of me!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Since when?

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ since i’m your senior!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I’m older than you!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ i’ve been a green lantern longer!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That doesn’t matter!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then if it doesn’t matter, change your name!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ To WHAT?!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ GreenLantern16 or something, i don’t know!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ There aren’t even that many Green Lanterns!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ there are hundreds of us!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I meant HUMAN Green Lanterns!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then fucking specify next time? is that so hard?!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Fuck off, asshole!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you first!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s not even an insult!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ and yours was?!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Shut up!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ just change your name and i will!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You can’t change your @’s, just your user!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then get a new account!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s a pain though!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ suck it up!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re the one who started all this!

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you started the argument with Kilowog’s account when he’s not even on the planet anymore!

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was a joke! You’re the one who took it seriously!

hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ hey Guys...??

I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ ...

John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ ... __________

hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ ok so kilowogs off planet, and the others are refusing to use their accounts after the incident where i murdered them both, so im doing their introductions for them

hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 is john stewart, obviously. @ OriginalGreenLantern is hal jordan, and yeah, he was the first human lantern. and me? the only Guy who had the bright idea of actually checking to see if @ GreenLantern was available like a normal person?

hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ i was off-world when everyone’s identities were revealed, and thus have my secrets!

hey Guys @ GreenLanten ✔️ well, i mean... i didn’t exactly hide it before, so some people might know, but im loving the fact that i kept my identity secret when batman didnt, so i decided to keep it to flaunt that fact to the others. peace out __________

Ro(g)y @ arsenal The OG Roy Harper here. Arsenal. Previously speedy.

Kaldur’ahm @ Aqualad ✔️ My user and @ says it all. I was revealed. Uselessly, but still revealed.

Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Bart Allen, AKA Impulse. My identity WAS revealed, but good luck finding out who I am. ;-)

Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Artemis, AKA Artemis Crock. Now y’all can finally stop asking me about my name.

From Fanboy To @ LagoonBoy L’gann here. Lagoon Boy. I’m green, you should be able to know what my civillian self looks like. It’s not like I can hide.

buzz off @ bumblebee I wasn’t revealed, but... being a superhero would be a suitable excuse for being late to classes... Karen Beecher-Duncan, Bumblebee! (Don’t worry, I discussed revealing myself with the entire league, and they said it was cool)

World’s best dodger and bullshitter @ Guardian Bumbles’ loving husband, Mal Duncan.

hello megan! @ hellom’gann ✔️ M’gann M’orzz AKA Megan Morse AKA Miss Martian. Superboy doesn’t have an account, but also didn’t get his identity leaked (somehow) anyway!!

Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Wally West, Kid Flash. Nice to meet Y’all

Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Y’all

Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Okay, you used it just two seconds ago so don’t @ me

Jaime @ ScarabHost ✔️ Jaime Reyes here. Now, the previous blue beetle is in a coma, and has been for years, I’m the new one. I just never had a public enough persona to tell everyone that I’m not just him with a new suit before...

Cassie @ WONDERgirl ✔️ Come to my room @ ScarabHost, I have marshmellos to cheer you up! Yes, you can come too, @ Impulsive  😋

Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Like you could keep me from food.  😜

Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I Am Iron Man

Hawk-ayeeee @ hawkeyeshadow Clint Barton

Brunhilde @ TheLastValkyrie All in the name.

Platypus @ TiredOfTony Col. James Rhodes, AKA War Machine, previously Iron Patriot (Thank goodness)

The Black Panther @ Kingofwakanda ✔️ T’Challa of Wakanda.

godofhammers @ kingofasgard ✔️ I am Thor, son of Frigga

Captain American’t deal @ Steven19 ✔️ Steve Rogers, Captain America.

My Name’s Not Scarlett @ It’s Wanda ✔️ Scarlet Witch

On your above @ FalconPINCH ✔️ Sam Wilson

🅱️lums @ WhiteWolf James “Bucky” Barnes here. Previously Winter Soldier... Sorry.

Toaster @ Eyesight ✔️ Vision Stark.

Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I’m crying.

Master Of The Mystic Arts @ DrStephenStrangeMD ✔️ I didn’t change my @ when I got into this world

Fury @ DirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ My name is already there.

Not That Maria @ AssistantDirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ Maria Hill, Assistant Director Of SHIELD

I am Groot @ Multilinguism I am Groot.

PETER NO @ GamoradaughterofABITCH Gamora.

PETER YES @ STARLORDOFFICIAL Peter Quill, Starlord!

Chocolate Works @ WeAreVenom Identity kept, bitches!

Shield Maiden @ LadySif I am Sif.

T’Challa’s babysitter @ GeneralOfWakanda ✔️ I am Okoye.

Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ I would reveal my identity, but I don’t know what it is myself.

Laura @ Wolverine2 ✔️ OMG DAD! You got your memories back, stop making amnesia jokes, they’re lame!

Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ This isn’t Private Messages sweetie

Laura @ Wolverine ✔️ FUCK

DannyRand @ AngstPuppy Iron Fist here!

notthedevil @ kurtthenightcrawler I’m blue, it’s not like I can hide?

Godda go feast @ Quicksilver Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin brother.

Freshuricado @ WakandaHeadOfScience ✔️ Princess Shuri. I don’t have a hero name, but I sometimes fight with gauntlets, so...?

Best Grandma @ Gi-Ant-Man Scott Lang here, also known as Ant-Man!

The Wasp @ HopeVanDyne ✔️ Scott’s better half.

Quill chose my name @ trashpanda Rocket Raccoon. That’s my name, nothing else.

Iron Daughter @ Blueberry My name is Nebula Stark, Gamora’s sister.

Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ 😭😭😭🥰

bobby @ Iceman So... My identity wasn’t revealed, but... most mutants at the school don’t really hide their identities, so everyone knows who I am here? But I didn’t wanna get left out of the train, so I’m Bobby Drake. AKA Iceman

Unbreakable @ LukeCage I don’t have an alternate name?? Yet my identity was still secret somehow?? (Well, not anymore) I hate everyone’s blindness. No offence to someone though, you know who you are.

Drax @ Drax I am Drax!

Jessica Nones @ AliasInvestigations ✔️ I never hid, but I guess I’m finally advertising.

💚🔪💚@ Iammantis! Hello everyone! I am Mantis!

DIDN’T CHOOSE MY OWN NAME @ ItIsBEN The Thing. Ben Grimm.

NAME WAS GIVEN BY DUMBASS BROTHER @ butiapprove The Invisible Woman. Sue Storm.

CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON The Human Torch. Johnny Storm

My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego Mr. Fantastic. Reed Richards.

CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON YOU MESSED UP THE CAPITALS ORDER!!!

My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego SIGH

__________

So, quick note, the next people... Well, I haven’t got any confirmation that they’re ACTUALLY heroes. But I don’t wanna exclude anyone, and they might just be obscure vigilantes that I don’t know about, but they commented on the thread that only heroes were meant to, and it’s not like believing them to be heroes will get me hurt like it would on a mission if they were villains in disguise, so... I’m just going to trust them this time! __________

Anathema @ Device I’m Anathema Device, and I’ll be doing the technology side for Crowley, Aziraphale, and Newton Pulsifer.

Adam @ DEATHJR Kids of the Armageddon’t, unite! (Except Warlock, cuz he didn’t actually save anything) Adam Young here.

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Brian here! (My mum says I can’t give out my last name until I hit 18, sorry for the lack of syncronity...)

Adam @ DEATHJR (It’s all cool Brian, not your fault!)

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Well, most of us can unite, anyway... I miss Pep, even if she had a weird name that I’m pretty sure was fake, looking back on our childhood.

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR You wanna go, Wensly?

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR YOU’RE ALIVE?!!

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Yeah, I’ll DM you three my number so we can catch up.

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Is it really her though?

Adam @ DEATHJR Well, you DID forget to put your name down Wensly. Nice to see you again Pep!

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR But they could have just hacked your computer?

Adam @ DEATHJR If she did that, she would have called him Wenslydale, not just Wensly. She knew better.

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR One way to find out. @ WARJR, say you’re name to us all within the next five minutes!

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, Pleb. Bow down to your missing member.

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR OMG, I’m legit crying you guys...

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR IT REALLY IS YOU!

Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re safe and sound, Pep. 🖤

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Puh-lease. You really think *I* could keep out of trouble?

Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re sound, Pep. 🖤

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Glad to be sound, Antichrist! 🖤 Still haven’t learnt what safety is tho... :P

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Pepper? Living a calm enough life to be SAFE? Wouldn’t dream of it. 🖤

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Send me your number so I can cry while hearing your voice 🖤

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Sure, it’s in your DMs now, and Wensleydale? You were right. “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” isn’t my real name.

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR FUCKEN CALLED IT!

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR WAIT WHAT?!

Adam @ DEATHJR THEN WHY DID THE TEACHERS CALL YOU PEPPER TOO??!?

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Think that’s bad? Remember how all that Stuff™ went down when we all were 11? Lies, I was 9.

Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR BUT YOU WERE IN OUR CLASS

Adam @ DEATHJR WHAT THE HOME PEP?!

Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR HOW DID THE TEACHERS LET YOU TWO GRADES ABOVE WERE YOU REALLY THAT SMART??

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR OF COURSE I WAS YOU ASS! But nah... I ran away from home, hitchhiked, skipped the county, forged my ma’s signature to put me up for adoption, stole some adoption papers, and placed them on the mayor’s desk filled in, and as far as anyone was aware, I was now the daughter of the local hippie

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I picked “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” as my name because I was a massive nerd.

Adam @ DEATHJR THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK IN THAT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN, WHAT THE FUCK PEP?!?!?

MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I’m an agent of Chaos.

Two Seconds Away From Giving Up @ JERomY Kid... __________

This thread wasn’t important, but... I just found it heartwarming that they found eachother after assuming Pepper was dead, and I found it funny. __________

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Okay, I have convinced all of the team to say their name and position. I even managed to get everyone to get matching Team Names, and put their superpower as their user! Only those with identities revealed will have to say their name, however.-OGLB

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL This account is run by two different ladybugs. If you don’t see a signature at the end of a post, it’s Bugette, the current Ladybug. If you do, it’s me, the last Ladybug. -OGLB

Cataclysm @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL My identity is still secret, suckers!

Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL Rude. Alya cesaire. I’m a retired hero, but doing my best every day to be once again worthy to wield a miraculous. I doubt it would be the same, however, as @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL is a much better fox than I am it seems.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me -OGLB

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Alya! You were meant to put your special power in the user! :(

Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL I was going to, but then Viperion pointed out to me that our powers were too obvious by our special power name, and that the two of us in particular needed others to not be aware of what we can do to make us all safer.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL That is a very sound judgement! I’m glad you thought ahead and made the wise deciscion!

Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL Rena, you’re a better fox than me, it just seems like that due to self-doubt. You are more suited to the fox than I am, it’s just that the fox is needed that I am even a holder at all. WHEN you get back on the team, I’ll either be retired or given another miraculous instead. I just have the better name.

SHELLter @ CarapaceOFFICIAL Not gonna say my name, but it’s pretty obvious if you pay attention, so just like... watch if you wanna know?

Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ I used to be the best holder of the Bee Miraculous, but I gave it up to @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL, and they are acceptable.

Wenom, uwu @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL Thank you Chloé! I couldn’t ask for a better predecessor!

Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You are most welcome, HoneyBee!

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Uhmm... Chloé? You were meant to put your power in the user, not your name. And everyone knows what you can do, so there’s no point hiding it from everyone. -OGLB

Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You misunderstand, Ladybug. As Chloé Bourgeois, I am well known for being rich and famous.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL And? -OGLB

Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ Being rich IS my superpower.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL SMH -OGLB

BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL I am Ryuko. While the previous Hawkmoth knew my identity, the new one does not. So I will remain in the shadows, as it is now safe for me to do so and wield once more.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL I thought we all agreed to put our powers in our users!!

BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL My skill with a blade is much more beneficial than my power over storms, I thought it more prudent to use the talent that I actually worked for. Besides, @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL sent me a meme, and it was enough to make me laugh in front of my mother, so I decided to use it.

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me about how she reacted...

Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL ^Same, and Chat, stop spamming our inboxes with memes! -OGLB

Pls don’t need me so I have to use it... @ ViperionOFFICIAL I am the Aforementioned Viperion. And yes, my weapon IS what you think it is. No-one knows who I am as of right now.

Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL My identity is a secret but my name is Neurofoxin.

Creation @ Ladybug Tikki here! The current active kwamis are going to sound off. Our usernames will be what we are the kwami of, and our @ s will be what animal we represent!

The ORIGINAL @ Catwoman Plagg here.

Creation @ Ladybug PLAGG!

The ORIGINAL (Destruction, THERE, HAPPY TIKKI!?!?) @ Catwoman UGH!

Avatar @ Fire Nation Dragon Well, since Plagg already broke the rules... Longg here. And I am technically not exactly breaking the rules..

Creation @ Ladybug See what you’ve caused?!

Emotional @ Peacock Duusu here!! :D

Intuition @ sassysnake Sass here.

Timey-Wimey @ BunnyIsLate Goodbye and Hello! I am Fluff, and I won’t be active on twitter often unless I will.

Trixx @ FoxyLad Technically, I’m also following the rules. 😎

;) @ Multiplication I know I just put my special ability down, but if I put my animal representative down (rat) I’ll ruin the joke... Mullo here.

Subjection @ Busylittleworkerbee I feel like I’m one of the few that still actually listens to Tikki... Pollen, at your service!

Y’all better be rich if you talk to me @ TransportationTeleportationHorse Just providing a friendly warning... Kaalki here, and I only interact with the best.

Protection @ Turtle Wayzz here, feeling like a fool since I decided following Tikki’s rule was a good idea. __________

These two groups seem like they work together? Or they’re both coincidently animal-themed, and I’m making connections when there are none. The next few are seemingly one-off people! __________

Caroline @ GLaDOS While I never saved the world myself, I saved the life of someone who did, and that should count for something.

Refined Pig @ Waddles ✔️ ((I know this is an account for my pet pig, but the creator of this account, me, has saved the world, and Waddles was there, along with my brother, @ ConspiracyTheorist))

The government isn’t the only one hiding the truth @ ConspiracyTheorist ✔️ You make me sound like a sidekick like I didn’t save your behind multiple times.

Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Dani Phantom here! I save Amity Park, plus the world, and I’m cute to boot!

Red @ Huntress @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL is my sidekick, ignore her.

Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Rude!

Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ DON’T CALL ME INVISO-BILL

Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL You love me! 💙💚

Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know you are using those for the color aesthetic, but I hope you know the blue heart represents loyalty, because you have absolutely none of that for me.

Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL True... How’d you even find this account anyway?

Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know better than to not keep an eye on you. I’ve known for months. __________

And that’s all for now! I know we’re missing some, like Batman and my uncle, but they should be on by tomorrow. An update will be posted then!