#i think im having a manic episode too

[love-marimo]

I Can't Remember Love (Zhongli x Reader)

Lolita's Note: This is a fic I impulsively wrote inspired by this song! It's one of my favorites. I've been feeling under the weather lately so this is very self-indulgent.

Reminiscence. It is one of the many bittersweet things that Zhongli goes through in his life countless times. There are instances where he wishes he has the memory of a normal human being.

Fickle, fleeting, yet like the essence of the cycle of seasons, the memory of a human being eventually forgets to make room for the new.

Sometimes it forgets the most monotonous thing; sometimes it forgets the most painful encounter. Though, sometimes it also remembers, but unlike him, the memories inside a mortal's mind become a mosaic of fragments unique to their own journey in their lives.

But to him, he remembers it all. Whereas, instead of a fragmented mosaic, they are all clear paintings that move through every fiber of his being.

Memories of the archon war, of the many eras he had lived through, of the many battles he fought, and of the people whom lives he had witnessed blossom and wither - it all melts inside of him, an unpleasant mixture of despair, bloodshed, triumph, and change.

But, out of all the things he remembers, he chooses to reminisce about you.

His beloved.

His treasure.

The first time he saw you was during one of your travels, lost in the mountains where the adepti resided, and he remembers the questioning look in your eyes when you found him sitting alone by the stone table at Mt. Aozang, and he always smiles at himself when he remembers the cautious way you asked him for directions to get back to the harbor.

Back then, he thought he will never see you again, part of him wanted you to take a seat beside him and rest for a while, but he sensed your urgency to return back to where you came from.

So when he saw you again, he remembers how surprised you were when he visited the restaurant you temporarily worked for.

He remembers how hardworking and clever you were. You always loved what you were doing, and he admired your unbreakable resolve to keep moving forward despite the many obstacles you faced in life.

He remembers the day he realized he became too watchful of you, and he remembers the day he found himself accompanying you too often in your journeys.

When you asked him why, he remembers how he told you that he just grew fond being around you.

He remembers how you used to buy yourself beautiful clothes after a commission with a hefty pay.

He remembers how you always dreamed to be part of an opera troupe, and when he tells you he can refer you to one of his acquaintances, you politely refuse him. He remembers you telling him that you've grown 'too old' for it, and that you didn't 'have enough time and resources'; but you always tell him that it can happen in the next life.

For every dream you didn't achieve, he remembers how you always tell him that, often with that sweet smile in your face.

And he almost laughs bitterly at that.

When he thinks about you, he also remembers the archon war.

He remembers searching for you far and wide. For each step that he took, he looked for any sign of you. Anything, even the faintest tune of your voice. He remembers desperation.

To see you,

To feel you,

Alive.

He remembers how the flames engulfed the traces of your life. He remembers the embers of what was once your home.

He remembers the sight of burnt silk and shattered pieces of jade ー one of your favorite possessions.

He remembers how he lost himself at the sight of losing you. And it was painful.

He remembers that it was the moment where he grew tired of losing people that mattered to him.

At the time, he knew nothing but wrath and despair. Zhongli grew coldhearted, his heart hard as stone. But, he found that the passage of time does heal you little by little.

Yet, out of all the things he remembers about you, Zhongli seemed to forget one thing.

Love.

He thinks it's better that way, to forget about how much he loved you. In a sense, it makes remembering you less painful.

With each passing of the seasons, his heart ached less, and his scars healed better. A few hundred years have passed, and Zhongli became a man of many duties.

Presently, the man puts up a facade of a polite and dedicated bachelor, dutifully fulfilling his responsibilities as the esteemed consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

He seemed to take it as his favorite pastime, drinking tea or having wine and reminiscing about you, especially when he is alone.

Whenever he stops by the Heyu Teahouse, he pictures you as one of the guest performers alongside the Yun-Han opera troupe.

Oh, how you'd look beautiful in their delicate costumes. Zhongli always wishes to a fallen star that maybe someday, you'll return to him living the life you once dreamed of.

But he knows it won't be coming true. So he holds on to every bit of memory he has of you.

Zhongli wants to remember how he loved you.

He wants to remember how he kissed and touched you.

Out of all the things he can forget, why would it be the one? He asks himself.

They say it is bad to open up old wounds, but he does so whenever he thinks about you.

He hates to admit that he wants you back.

Zhongli wants to see and feel your existence again, and maybe he is desperate about it, but he doesn't want to live his life like this anymore.

He doesn't want to pretend. To put up a facade. He has become so restless and empty for the last 500 years. He can't help it.

It's not the same without you.

"I remember springtime, I remember when it rained"

A familiar voice rings through his ears and he looks up to see who the next performer is.

"I remember night time"

His eyes widened at the sight. He saw the one person he had longed for so long.

"The happiness and pain"

There you were, standing on the stage as you sang a mellow song from a foreign region. The guests were intently listening to your melodic voice, as you sang a song of melancholy and love.

"I remember you"

Zhongli found himself walking towards you, cautiously, as if he was reliving the moment of your first encounter. Your eyes were closed, and you had the familiar smile on your face. He remembers it clearly, the expression you have when you were enjoying yourself.

"But I can't remember love"

He found it ironic. You were so beautiful. You felt so complete, like you weren't chasing ends to meet anymore. So, he knows this is different. This is not you from many years ago. Still, you looked the same as ever ー as if you haven't aged at all.

"Was it only yesterday, or many moons ago?"

Zhongli realized you were looking into his eyes, still smiling ー as if you were asking him the lyric you were singing, reminiscing about the archaic past together. He felt his heart beat again, and he wanted nothing but to hold you tight in his arms.

"When I turned and walked away, where, oh, where did it go?"

The lanterns of the teahouse illuminated your face, and you both stood there. Zhongli patiently waited for you to finish the song. He doesn't know how to approach you, or how you'll react when he calls you by your name.

"I remember you. Yet, I want to remember love, and I do…"

You sang the last lines of the song and people clapped as you ended your performance. It turns out you were a local singer who performs in taverns and teahouses all across Teyvat. Zhongli felt nostalgic at that fact. You are still a traveler at heart.

He felt a pang at his chest when you started to walk away. He figured you still had places to go.

No.

He cannot let this happen.

He cannot lose you again.

He called your name as he started to chase after you.

You were about to get inside your carriage when you heard his voice.

"Are you referring to me, sir?" You asked innocently.

"Yes." He replied, catching his breath.

There was silence for a while. While you were studying his appearance, he felt a mixture of feelings as he took in your beauty.

"It… it really is you." He smiled. He doesn't want to scare you, but he remembers now. He remembers how his heart beats fast whenever he's around you. He remembers how it takes all of his composure to remain calm and collected whenever he is near you.

He remembers it all.

And for once, he wishes he won't forget anymore. He'd rather have the curse of remembering everything as long as there's you in it.

He remembers now.

He remembers how much he loves you, even if you don't remember him anymore.

He'll watch over you, just like he did in the past. He'll protect you. And if the time comes when you need him by your side, he'll stay with you ー for as long as you need.

To Zhongli, your existence is enough to make him love you, even if it's just from afar.

So, he thanks every fallen star he has wished to; because he can truly feel alive, now that you're here again.

ー Lolita

[heartboreo]

[deceased-lungs]

The drunk texts I get from my ex

[pomegranatesarchive]

he got the girl | george russell

pairing: george russell x wolff!reader

summary: that awkward moment when you get caught going on a date with one of your dads drivers.

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, maxverstappen1, and 973,826 others!

f1gossip: y/n wolff was seen last night on a date? with george russell, (yes the mercedes driver) last night in monaco? this was actually very surprising for us as well, thoughts?

view comments below!

user1: no shit

user2: no way george pulled y/n

user3: GEORGE IN THE LIKES ??????

user4: NOT ONLY HIM BUT MAX CHARLES ALEX TOOOO ??

user5: sorry guys 😅😅 but that’s actually me and y/n, not her and that skinny twig 😅😅

user6: maybe they were just hanging out??

user7: NO WAY GEORGE PULLED HER

user8: this is actually crazy

user9: okay guys..but the pictures are actually so cute 🙂‍↕️

user10: RIGJT?? THE WAY HES HOLDING HER JACKET AND PURSE TOO 🥰🥰

alex_albon: holy shit @/georgeussell63 no way you actually got her

georgerussell63: well don’t act so surprised 🙄

maxverstappen1: we will act so surprised. she’s rejected you 10 times.

georgerussell63: she has NOT!

maxverstappen1: sorry, 20 times**

user10: WHAT ARE THESE DRIVERS DOING ON A GOSSIP PAGE ??

charles_leclerc: holy cow 😳

mercedesamgf1: omg no

mercedesamgf1: What the fuck is this. - Toto Wolff

user11: NO GEROGE RUN

user12: SOMEONE CHECK IF GEORGE IS STILL ALIVE

user13: TOTO NOOO

user14: WHY IS EVERYONE HERE ????

liked by georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, yourusername and 43,837 others!

tagged: yourusername, and georgerussell63

f1: it’s been a while, but y/n is back!

view comments below!

user15: her and lewis 😞😞

user16: THATS MOTHERRRR

user17: she looks so good 🙄

user18: GEORGE BEING TAGGED ???

mercedesamgf1: please un-tag George William Russell. - Toto Wolff

user19: someone PLEASE get this old geezer his own instagram account

user20: the way he adds - Toto Wolff, like we don’t already know ???

user21: oh what i would do to be a fly in the mercedes garage right now

user22: the use of george’s FULL name ??? that boy better run

georgerussell63: 😍😍

leiwshamilton: do you want our boss to kill you?

landonorris: it’s like he WANTS to die

user23: WHY IS HE BEING SO PUBLIC ABOUT TUIS ???

user24: after years of being rejected by y/n he wants everyone to know he finally got her 😭

user25: george finally gets y/n and he loses all fear

f1gossip; y/n was asked about the dating rumors today she was asked “are you and george dating”, she answered, “i think he’s made it very clear, hasn’t he?”

view comments below!

user26: GEORGE FINALLY GOT THE GIRL!!

user27: i low key thought george was having like a manic episode and was pretending to date y/n but this basically confirmed it, happy for them!

user28: LMAO WHATT

user29: okay now toto’s reaction pls

user30: wait but if she’s toto’s daughter? why is her hair like blonde blonde

user31: she dyes her hair religiously

user32: okay but george being like so proud of this relationship is so incredibly cute 😞

user33: netflix is going to eat this up

liked by, yourusername, lewishamilton, georgerussell63, and 926,826 others!

mercedesamgf1: our family 🙏🙏

view comments below!

user34: GEORGE LOOKS SO SCARED 😭😭😭

user35: NO IM DYING THIS IS TOO FUNNY

user36: GEORGE LOOKS LIKE HES BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT

user38: this is hilarious

yourusername: p5 and p7 👏👏

georgerussell63: wanted to make you proud 🥰

user39: OH BROTHER HERE HE GOES

user40: toto will appear in an estimated 3 seconds

mercedesamgf1: 😐 - Toto Wolff.

f1gossip: george russell and toto wolff were seen speaking after the race in monaco, sources say that after a intense chat, they hugged it out, thoughts?

view comments below!

user41: AND HE APPROVES!!!

user42: YAY

user43: ITS OFFICIAL, TOTO APPROVES

user44: okay now i can actually be happy about this relationship

user45: i kinda feel bad that his own daughter didn’t tell him that she was dating someone…

user46: they bro hugged 🥹

user47: so happy for y/n and george ❤️

liked by f1, lewishamilton, danielricciardo, mercedesamgf1, and 637,927 others!

georgerussell63: after 4 years, i finally got the girl 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

view comments below!

f1: GEORGE RUSSELL FINALLY DOES IT EVERYONE!!

landonorris: YEAH RUSSELL 🗣️

oscarpiastri: finally 👏👏

danielriccarido: HELL YEAH

maxverstappen1: i still don’t believe it…

lewishamilton: proud of you man 🫂

charles_leclerc: YAY!!!

carlossainz55: he finally made it🥹🥹

mclaren: she could do better

user48: ADMIN??

yukitsunoda: really?

alex_albon: still not convinced this is real 😅

user49: this whole comment section is killing me 😭

liked by, georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, and 736,260 others!

yourusername: when he’s dad approved 😍

view comments below!

mercedesamgf1: eh - Toto Wolff.

yourusername: father pls get instagram

georgerussell63: my beautiful gorgeous exquisite breathtakingly beautiful girl 😍😍🥰🥰

user50: need me a man like THIS.

lewishamilton; simp 🫵

yourusername: ??? who taught you that

lewishamilton; the internet

user51: now get married and have 3 kids !!!

georgerussell63: soon!

mercedesamgf1: NO NOT SOON. - Toto Wolff

f1: beautiful couple 😻

user52: THIS IS ADORABLE

user53: i need me a man who loves me as much as he loves y/n

user54: he waited 4 years for her 🥹🥹

user55: the train tracks looks really delicious right about now

user56: me and who???

user57: why is george kinda sexy…

yourusername: how are you just realizing this now?

user57: IT TOOK YOU FOUR YEARS TO NOTICE????

yourusername; no comment.

. . .

notes: i have my chemistry final tomorrow, wish me luck!

[missmaymay13]

Close To You - William Eklund

12k

w.eklund x OC | w.smith & m.celebrini x OC (platonic / sibling relationship)

Summary: the sharks have a new social media intern and immediately the two young rookies stake their claim on her as their "adopted older sister". the three were always attached at the hip. when william eklund meets the new girl, hes immediately smitten by her. the only issue? he's too shy to do anything about it.

Warnings: none! only that its my first story ive ever released and im still trying to find my writing style lol. theres lots of cute sibling banter with OC & will and macklin! and ofc lots of eky being shy... hehe

note: i did go a little crazy when i wrote this a few weeks ago and thanks to a looong manic episode lol so i do have a bunch of little one shots about this story just ready to be edited and uploaded. please lmk if anyone is interested in me releasing them (they are all mainly about will, macklin and OC)

If June Johnson had any illusions about starting a calm, professional internship with the San Jose Sharks, they were completely shattered the moment she stepped into the dressing room. She wasn't new to social media—she had spent years running accounts for small businesses, university sports teams, and even a short stint with a junior hockey club. But this? This was different.

This was the NHL.

And the NHL, apparently, came with an unspoken initiation involving two overly energetic rookies and a locker room full of chaos. She had barely set foot inside before she was noticed.

"Wait, you're new." Macklin Celebrini, the Sharks' golden boy, stood in front of her with a curious expression, his practice jersey half on, his skates still untied. Before she could respond, another voice piped up.

"Yeah, dude, she literally just walked in," said Will Smith, his grin wide, blonde hair slightly damp from morning skate. June barely had time to introduce herself before Will and Macklin had already formed a huddle, whispering loudly enough for the entire room to hear.

"Alright, what's the bet?" Will muttered dramatically. "How long do we think before she quits?"

"Oh my god." June rolled her eyes. "I'm literally standing right here." Macklin hummed, rubbing his chin as if he were deep in thought. "I give her three weeks."

"Three weeks?" Will scoffed. "Nah, she looks tough. I say she lasts a month." June crossed her arms. "You guys do realize I control the social media accounts, right? I can absolutely mute you both from existence."

Macklin's eyes widened. "You wouldn't." Will gasped. "That's... I didn't think of that." June smirked. "Try me."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, as if she had passed some unspoken test, Macklin and Will immediately abandoned their "bet" and turned their attention to grilling her instead. "Alright, but for real," Macklin leaned against his stall, arms crossed. "You actually want to work here?"

June shot him a look. "Yes? Why, should I be concerned?" Will grinned. "Let's just say... we're a little much." June snorted. "Oh, I've noticed." That was when Mario Ferraro, one of the veteran defensemen, wandered over with a laugh. "You'll get used to them."

"Will I?" Mario patted her shoulder. "Probably not."

Despite Macklin and Will's warnings, June quickly settled into her role. Her first few days were a whirlwind of learning the ropes, familiarizing herself with the Sharks' social media strategy, and—most importantly—figuring out how to handle the absolute disaster that was the team's young core. It didn't take long for Macklin and Will to adopt her as one of their own. At some point, she had unknowingly become their unofficial babysitter. They followed her around like lost puppies, insisted on helping her gather content, and were constantly dragging her into their antics. By day three, she had already been roped into filming a TikTok where the two of them attempted a viral dance trend.

Spoiler: it did not go well.

"I swear, we had it perfect before you hit record," Will complained, shaking out his hands as Macklin groaned beside him. June snorted. "Sure you did." Macklin narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you going to be this sassy all season?"

"Oh, absolutely." Will grinned. "I like her."

But June quickly realized that handling these two was only part of the challenge—because the rest of the team wasn't any better. She had planned to ease into things, maybe take a few weeks before jumping headfirst into recording the "random question of the day" segment.

Yeah. That plan lasted all of five minutes.

The second Logan Couture spotted her with the team's media camera, he nudged Tomas Hertl. "Bet she asks something ridiculous." Tomas, grinning, turned to her. "First question, let's go."

June hesitated, flipping through her mental list of backup prompts before blurting out, "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?" The room erupted.

"Oh, that's a good one."

"Wait, do we get weapons?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Absolutely taking the duck-sized horses."

"Are you crazy? The horse-sized duck would kill you."

June blinked as chaos ensued. "...So I take it this is a success?" Mario nodded solemnly. "You're going to fit in just fine."

By the end of her first week, June had established herself as more than just the new intern—she was officially part of the team's day-to-day chaos. She had already lost count of how many times Macklin and Will had dragged her into some ridiculous argument (the most recent one being about whether or not cereal counted as soup). She had also learned that Henry Thrun would agree to any TikTok challenge if you dared him, and that Noah Gregor was terrifyingly good at coming up with completely random, borderline unhinged facts about obscure animals.

Most importantly, she learned that despite their antics, these guys weren't just a team—they were a family. And as much as she had expected to feel like an outsider, June realized something as she sat in the locker room, laughing at yet another one of Will's dumb ideas: She was already part of it.

⸻By the time June's second week rolled around, she had fully accepted her fate. She wasn't just the Sharks' new social media intern. She was now the official (unofficial) babysitter of two NHL rookies who had way too much energy and way too little supervision. Her schedule? Completely dictated by Macklin and Will. Her daily tasks? Constantly interrupted by their antics. Her peace and sanity? Gone.

And the worst part? She didn't even mind.

June had just walked into the practice facility when she heard it. "Junie! HELP!"

She barely had time to process before Macklin came barreling toward her. She dodged out of the way just in time to see Will chasing after him, waving what looked like—was that a half-eaten protein bar?

"You're a menace to society!" Will shouted. "How do you not like peanut butter?!"

"It's disgusting!" Macklin yelled back, jumping behind June for cover. June, half-awake, pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's literally eight in the morning."

"He called peanut butter MID!" Will exclaimed, shoving the evidence (a protein bar wrapper) in her face. "This is a CRIME, June. A CRIME." Macklin peeked out from behind her. "Are you seriously telling me peanut butter is top-tier? Grow up."

"GROW UP?!" And just like that, they were arguing again. June sighed, stepping around them to grab her morning coffee from the media lounge. "I'm too tired for this." She had barely taken her first sip when Logan Couture walked by, shaking his head. "Still want the job?"

June took a long, dramatic sip of her coffee before deadpanning, "I've made my peace with it." Logan smirked. "Good answer."

The thing about Macklin and Will was that they had absolutely no chill. If June thought they had been bad the first week, she completely underestimated just how much worse it could get. They followed her everywhere. They never let her work in peace. They somehow managed to turn every single day into some kind of ridiculous event.

Exhibit A: June had been setting up a behind-the-scenes TikTok, casually filming players walking into practice, when Macklin and Will sprinted into the frame—dramatically sliding in on their socks like they were action movie stars. She barely had time to react before they started posing. "Mack, hit 'em with the Zoolander." Macklin turned to the camera and gave his best Blue Steel impression.

"Oh my god," June muttered. "We're naturals," Will declared, tossing an arm over Macklin's shoulder. "Should we be influencers?" June deadpanned. "Absolutely not."

"Okay, rude."

Exhibit B: June was setting up a mic for a player interview when she felt something land on her head. She immediately knew who was responsible. "Will," she said slowly, reaching up to remove the hockey tape ball that had just been thrown at her. Will, sitting across the room, looked way too innocent. "What?" he said, blinking at her. "That could've been anyone."

June narrowed her eyes. "Really?"

"Really." From beside him, Macklin was struggling not to laugh. "You're lucky I like my job," June muttered, tossing the paper back at him. Will caught it easily, grinning. "You love us." June rolled her eyes, fighting a smile. "Debatable."

It took approximately zero days for the rest of the team to notice just how much time Macklin and Will spent following June around. "They have imprinted on her," Henry Thrun declared during a team meeting. Mario Ferraro nodded solemnly. "She's like their pack leader now."

"I give it a week before she starts bringing them snacks like a hockey mom," Tyler Toffoli joked. The worst part was that June heard all of this.

"You guys are talking like I'm not right here," she pointed out, arms crossed. "Oh, we know," Logan said, smirking. "We just think it's funny." June rolled her eyes. "They're not that bad." That was when Macklin and Will—who had been wrestling over a Gatorade bottle like literal children—accidentally knocked over an entire stack of towels. Everyone turned to her.

June sighed. "Okay, fine, they're a little bad."

By the time practice ended, June was exhausted. Not from the work—no, she could handle that. She was exhausted from babysitting two grown hockey players. As she sat in the lounge, sipping on what had to be her third coffee of the day, she suddenly felt two shadows looming over her.

"Junie." She sighed. "What do you want now?"

Macklin plopped down beside her, grinning. "Just saying hi." Will flopped into the chair on her other side. "We missed you." June gave them a look. "I literally saw you guys an hour ago." Will shrugged. "Yeah, but still." June groaned, dramatically dropping her head onto the table. "I give up." Macklin patted her shoulder. "It's okay. We love you too."

And that's when it hit her. Somehow, without even trying, she had become one of them.

⸻June Johnson was used to chaos by now. She had accepted that working for the San Jose Sharks meant zero peace and infinite amounts of babysitting two overgrown children (Macklin and Will) on a daily basis. But what she hadn't accounted for?

William Eklund.

She had heard his name before—obviously. He was one of the team's top young players, constantly hyped up by the media, and apparently the "responsible" one out of all the rookies. That was a lie. Because when she finally met him? He was the opposite of put-together. In fact, he completely malfunctioned.

June was minding her own business, setting up a camera for a post-practice TikTok, when she felt it. The weirdest, most intense stare from across the room. At first, she ignored it, assuming it was just one of the guys zoning out. But then she heard a very distinct choking noise. She turned—only to find William Eklund standing a few feet away, frozen, wide-eyed, and looking like he had just forgotten how to breathe.

"...Uh," June blinked. "Are you okay?"

William made a sound that was definitely not human. Then, instead of speaking like a normal person, he just kept staring. Like, full-on deer-in-the-headlights staring. It was so bad that even Macklin noticed.

"Yo, Eky," Macklin called, waving a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Eky?"

William didn't respond. He just continued looking at June like she was a mythical creature. Macklin and Will exchanged glances. Then Will, ever the troublemaker, grinned.

"Oh my god," he whispered. "He's starstruck." Macklin's eyes widened. "No way."

June, completely lost, looked between them. "What?" Will beamed. "Oh, this is amazing." At that moment, William finally snapped out of his trance—only to immediately panic.

"Vad i helvete," he blurted out. June frowned. "What?" William visibly cringed. Then, because his brain was apparently not functioning, he started nervously rambling.

"Uh—I—hi," he stuttered. "You're—you're—um."

"Oh my god," Will whispered. "He's broken." Macklin gasped. "Did we just witness love at first sight?"

William immediately turned bright red. "Nej! Sluta!" June tilted her head. "I don't speak Swedish, but that sounded defensive." That only made him more flustered.

Macklin doubled over laughing. "He's panicking! He's literally panicking!" William looked so done. June, still completely out of the loop, crossed her arms. "Okay, can someone explain what's happening?" Will grinned. "Oh, nothing."

"Except that Eky," Macklin added, "is down bad." June raised an eyebrow. "Down bad?"

William groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Jag hatar det här." The second William left the room, Macklin and Will lost their minds.

"This is the best day of my life," Will announced. "I have never seen Eky lose his cool like that."

June, still confused, took a sip of her coffee. "So what you're telling me is..." She pointed toward the door William had just fled through. "That guy just had a meltdown because of me?"

"Oh, absolutely."

"A hundred percent."

June frowned. "But why?" Will grinned. "Because he's so in love with you." June choked on her coffee. "EXCUSE ME?"

Macklin nodded seriously. "It's true." Will gestured toward the hallway. "I mean, did you see that? You literally broke him Junie."

"That was not normal behavior," Macklin agreed. "Oh," Macklin said, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "This is gonna be fun."

⸻William was dying.

He had locked himself in the players' lounge, pacing back and forth like a man on the verge of a crisis. Which, to be fair, he was. He had completely embarrassed himself. He had made a fool of himself in front of June. He was never going to live this down. And the worst part? He still hadn't said an actual sentence to her. Instead, he had just... malfunctioned. Because apparently, his brain stopped working whenever June was around. This was a disaster. A complete, total disaster. And William had no idea how he was going to survive the rest of the season.

⸻June Johnson wasn't the type to take things personally. She had thick skin, a sharp sense of humour, and enough patience to deal with Macklin and Will on a daily basis. But even she had her limits. And right now? She was absolutely convinced that William Eklund hated her. It started immediately after their first meeting. At first, she chalked it up to coincidence. Maybe he was just busy. Maybe he had a lot on his mind.

But by the third day? She noticed. Because every time she set up her camera for a TikTok, William suddenly disappeared. And it wasn't subtle. It was full-on, "I see June and immediately turn and walk in the opposite direction" avoidance.

Like today. She had just finished setting up her phone for a new round of "Question of the Day" when she spotted William across the room. She raised a hand to wave. His eyes went wide. And then? He turned and booked it. Like, actual Olympic-level sprinting.

June blinked. "...Did he just run away from me?" Will, standing beside her, cackled. "Oh yeah," he said, grinning. "He totally did." June frowned. "Okay, what is his deal?" Macklin, sitting nearby, hummed in amusement. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," June gestured vaguely toward the door William had just escaped through, "he keeps avoiding me." Will snorted. "Yeah. And?"

"And—!" June huffed. "What did I do?" Macklin and Will exchanged glances. Then they grinned. "Oh," Macklin said innocently. "I'm sure it's nothing."

It wasn't just the dodging. No, because apparently whenever William couldn't escape in time, he had another reaction. He turned bright red. It happened constantly.

The first time, June had genuinely thought he was overheating. She had run into him near the locker room, and the second they made eye contact, his entire face flushed. She had even been concerned for a second.

"Are you okay?" she had asked.

William, visibly struggling, had muttered something under his breath and immediately turned on his heel and left. At first, June didn't think much of it. But then it happened again.

And again.

And AGAIN.

Any time their eyes met? Boom. Red. And yet, somehow, she was the only one confused about it. Macklin and Will? They were having the time of their lives.

"Oh my god, this is so funny," Will had whispered after William once again fled the scene. Macklin nodded. "He's actually suffering."

June, arms crossed, frowned. "Do you guys know something I don't?" Will just smirked. "Maybe." June narrowed her eyes. "I don't trust you." Will patted her shoulder. "That's fair."

By the time a full week had passed, June was convinced she had done something wrong. Because who avoids someone this hard if they don't hate them? She finally snapped during morning skate. She had been setting up her camera when William walked into the room—only to immediately turn around and leave.

June had had enough.

"Okay," she said, turning to Macklin and Will. "Be honest. Does he hate me?" Macklin choked on his water. "What?" Will, looking way too entertained, laughed. "Oh, June." June crossed her arms. "No, seriously. Did I do something?"

Macklin wiped his mouth, still grinning. "You really think Eky hates you?"

"Yes?" June threw up her hands. "He literally refuses to be in the same room as me!" Will, barely containing his laughter, shook his head. "Oh, Junie. You're so, so wrong." June frowned. "Then what is it?" Macklin grinned. "Oh, he doesn't hate you," he said. "Not at all." Will smirked. "If anything, it's the opposite." June blinked. "What?"

Macklin leaned back in his seat, looking way too smug. "June," he said slowly, like he was explaining something obvious. "The guy has a huge crush on you."

June froze.

She stared at them. "What? Absolutely not. You're lying." Will nodded. "Oh yeah." Macklin shrugged. "It's actually kind of pathetic."

"...Wait." She shook her head. "You're telling me that he's been avoiding me because he likes me?" Will beamed. "Exactly." June frowned. "That makes no sense." Macklin snorted. "No, it makes perfect sense."

Will nudged her. "Think about it. He literally panicked when he first met you." Macklin nodded. "And he turns bright red whenever you look at him." Will wiggled his eyebrows. "He's smitten."

June, suddenly replaying every single interaction she had with William, felt her stomach drop. No. That can't be it. This is just Mack and Will pulling on her leg. Shoving Macklin and Will away, she walked away, mumbling about how they're a bunch of idiots that don't know what they're talking about. ⸻William Eklund had one goal today. Survive.

Media day was supposed to be easy. It was literally just a few hours of posing for headshots, recording promo videos, and answering basic questions for the Sharks' social team. Simple. Routine. No stress. Except for one problem.

June was there. And not just there. She was practically running the entire thing. Which meant William was now trapped in a room with her for hours, forced to interact, unable to escape like he usually did. He was so screwed.

The media room was buzzing with activity. Bright studio lights were set up along the far wall, cameras positioned at different angles, with a backdrop featuring the Sharks logo. A handful of team staff were already filtering through, prepping the players for their photos and coordinating the shoot schedule.

And in the center of it all?

June.

She was checking over the camera setup, giving quick instructions to the photographer, her clipboard tucked under one arm. Completely in her element. William watched from a safe distance, praying she wouldn't notice him. He had almost convinced himself that he could get through this without incident—until he made the mistake of glancing toward the schedule board.

PLAYER ORDER:     1.    Logan Couture     2.    Henry Thrun     3.    Mario Ferraro     4.    William Eklund

William Eklund.

FOURTH? NO TIME TO PREPARE. His stomach dropped. "William!"

His head snapped up just in time to see June waving him over. Oh.

Oh no.

She was smiling at him. Why was she smiling at him? Why did she have to be so effortlessly cool and put-together and—

"Come on," June said, gesturing toward the backdrop. "You're up next."

William's feet refused to move. He was frozen—fully paralyzed—as his brain scrambled for an escape plan that didn't exist. June tilted her head, confused. "You good?" He nodded way too fast.

"Y-yeah! Yes! Of course! I am—good. Very good." Oh my god. What was that? What kind of response was that? He sounded like a robot. June blinked, her brow furrowing slightly. "Okay... cool. Just step into the frame, and we'll get started."

William swallowed hard. This was a nightmare. He forced himself forward, his legs moving stiffly as he positioned himself in front of the camera. "Alright," June said, adjusting the lighting. "Just look straight ahead."

William tried. He really did. But the problem? June was standing right next to the camera. Which meant that every time he looked forward, he was also looking directly at her. And holy shit. That was not helping.

He could feel it happening. The dreaded blush. It started creeping up his neck, warming his face, and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, it just kept getting worse.

He was going to die.

Meanwhile, June—completely unaware of his suffering—was focused on her job. "Alright, now turn a little to your left," she instructed. William nodded too fast again. "Okay. Yes. Left. I can do that."

Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking.

He adjusted his pose, feeling like an actual idiot. "Perfect," June said, tapping something on the screen. "Now just relax your shoulders a bit."

Relax? Relax?!

How was he supposed to relax when she was literally standing right there, looking at him, analyzing him, judging his every movement— "Eklund," June interrupted, giving him a look. "Breathe."

Oh.

Right.

Breathing.

That was a thing he should probably do.

He forced himself to inhale, feeling like a malfunctioning robot. After what felt like years, the photographer finally finished. William was seconds away from sprinting out of the room when June held up a hand. "Wait," she said. "One more thing."

He froze. "What?" She handed him a mic. "You need to record a quick intro for the season promo."

...Oh no.

Oh no.

Talking? In front of June?! This was worse. This was so much worse. But he had no choice. So he took the mic, cleared his throat, and—

"Hi. I mean—hello. I'm William Eklund. And you're watching—" He stuttered. "No. Wait. That's Disney Channel. That's not right."

OH MY GOD.

A beat of silence.

Then—

June snorted. Like, actually snorted.

"Dude," she said, trying (and failing) to hold back laughter. "Are you okay?"

William felt himself combusting. "I—uh—I don't know?"

And then, because his embarrassment reached an all-time high, he did the worst thing possible. He cursed in Swedish.

Loudly.

June immediately caught it. "That was Swedish," she said, grinning. "What did you just say?"

William's soul left his body. "Nothing!" he blurted. "It was nothing! I—uh—I should go." And before she could stop him, he turned and speed-walked out of the room. The second he escaped, he slumped against the nearest wall, running a hand through his hair.

That was a disaster.

An absolute disaster.

He could not handle this girl.

Not her smile. Not her teasing. Not the way she effortlessly made him look like an idiot. He was so doomed.

And the worst part? He still had to see her every single day. There was no way he was making it through the season in one piece.

⸻ June Johnson had watched NHL games before. She had grown up watching them on TV, sometimes in the stands, cheering alongside packed crowds. But standing on the ice, just feet away from the players, camera in hand, feeling the energy of the arena before puck drop?

This was different.

This was insane.

And, for the first time since starting this job, she fully grasped the magnitude of what she had walked into.

The arena was electric. The SAP was packed, fans decked out in teal and black, waving rally towels as the pre-game light show illuminated the ice. The music boomed through the speakers, matching the pulse of the anticipation hanging in the air. From ice level, it felt ten times louder.

June had her phone in one hand, her camera in the other, capturing clips for TikTok and Instagram. Players skated by, locked in, the sound of their blades carving through the ice mixing with the deep bass of the arena soundtrack. She turned, scanning the crowd through her lens, before shifting her focus back to the bench.

And that's when she saw them. Macklin and Will.

They were standing by the boards, both trying (and failing) to act like they weren't completely freaking out.

It was their first NHL game.

The real deal.

And June, despite all her focus on capturing the perfect shot, could see the nerves written all over them. She lowered her camera and walked over, nudging Will's shoulder. "You good?"

Will grinned way too fast. "Yeah! Totally! Super fine! Not nervous at all!" Macklin, standing beside him, snorted. "He's lying." Will shot him a look. "Dude, you're literally shaking."

"I am not."

"You so are."

June rolled her eyes. "Okay, both of you need to chill." Macklin exhaled, running a hand through his hair. "I mean... it's a lot, right? The lights, the crowd, the pressure." Will nodded. "Kinda feels like I might throw up." Macklin grimaced. "Yeah, please don't do that."

June, watching them closely, softened. She had been so focused on the media side of things, she had almost forgotten that this was just as much a huge moment for them as it was for the fans.

Their first NHL game. Their first time skating out to their names being announced in front of thousands. Their first real taste of the league they had dreamed of playing in since they were kids.

And the fact that they got to do it together? That made it even more special.

June shifted, nudging Macklin first, then Will. "You guys know you belong here, right?"

Will blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean it," she said, looking between them. "You guys worked your asses off to get here. And yeah, it's scary, but you're not alone. You've got each other. And," she added with a smirk, "you've got me."

Macklin snorted. "Oh, lucky us." Will grinned. "Yeah, what would we do without you?" June crossed her arms. "Exactly. Now stop freaking out and just play. You'll be fine."

They didn't say anything for a moment, just exchanged a glance—one of those silent, best friend conversations where nothing needed to be said.

Then Macklin smirked. "Alright. Let's do this."

Will nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

Before heading toward the ice, they both turned back at the same time and, without warning, pulled June into a quick hug. It was so fast she barely had time to react before they let go and skated off, leaving her standing there, completely caught off guard.

She blinked, watching them go. Then, with a small smile, she raised her camera and hit record.

This?

This was going to be a hell of a season.

⸻ June Johnson was not prepared for how emotional this game was going to make her. She had spent the past few weeks fully settling into her role with the Sharks, getting used to the chaos, the media responsibilities, and—most of all—her new dynamic with Macklin and Will. She knew how much this night meant to them. But standing here, watching it all unfold in real time, she realized she had drastically underestimated just how much it meant to her too.

The hug wasn't planned. It had been impulsive, a quick, wordless exchange that lasted no more than a few seconds before Macklin and Will skated off, leaving June stunned on the bench.

But apparently? Everyone noticed. Not even five minutes later, her phone buzzed with a notification.

@/SharksMedia: A special moment between our three "rookies" before puck drop. 🦈💙

She clicked the video, watching the moment play back in real-time. The clip wasn't even high quality—just a quick, shaky recording taken by a the other social media crew. But that almost made it better. The three of them huddled together, Will grinning, Macklin looking focused but excited, June laughing as she nudged them before they pulled her in for a fast, almost instinctive hug.

It was so small, so simple—but it had everyone melting. The replies were already flooded with comments.

@/freshprinceofchestnuthill02: STOP THIS IS TOO CUTE 😭 @/miami101: not the sharks making me emotional before the game even starts @/willmack7102: the way they just pulled her in like it was nothing 🥺

June groaned. "Oh my god." Then, it was time. The lights dimmed. The music swelled. The energy in the arena built to a fever pitch.

And then—

"Starting at center, making his NHL debut... MACKLIN CELEBRINI!" The crowd exploded.

June felt her chest tighten with pride as Macklin took the ice, his first NHL solo lap, carving through the rink with ease, the lights reflecting off his jersey.

Then came—

"Starting at forward, making his NHL debut... WILL SMITH!"

Another huge roar from the crowd. Will skated out, grinning ear to ear, pumping his fist as he took his lap. And June? She was so damn proud.

Her boys. Her stupid, chaotic, lovable little brothers were in the NHL.

She held up her phone, capturing every second. She wanted to remember this. She wanted them to remember this. The game itself was a blur of fast-paced action, adrenaline, and a ridiculous amount of yelling from the bench. But the moment that would live in her brain forever?

Macklin's first goal.

She had barely processed what happened.

One second, the puck was dropped. The next? Macklin had it. And before anyone could react—

HE SCORED.

On his first shot. The puck hit the back of the net, and the entire arena erupted. The goal horn blared. The bench exploded. Macklin threw his arms up in disbelief, eyes wide before he was immediately swarmed by his teammates.

June? June was losing her entire mind. She practically shoved her phone into the air, recording as she jumped up and down, screaming.

"Oh my god! OH MY GOD! MACKLIN!" She didn't even care if it was professional or not—she was screaming her lungs out. The guys on the bench were laughing at her, but she didn't care.

She could feel her eyes watering, could barely hold the camera steady, but she kept recording, capturing the pure, unfiltered joy on Macklin's face as he skated past the bench. When he spotted her?

He pointed.

Directly at her.

Like he knew she was freaking out. Like he knew this meant just as much to her as it did to him. She covered her mouth, grinning like an idiot, heart bursting with pride.

June barely remembered the final buzzer, too wrapped up in the chaos of celebration, but the moment the game ended, she was already on the move. She didn't care about decorum, didn't care about looking professional—she just sprinted down the tunnel, camera forgotten, shoving past staff and players until she finally found them.

"MACKLIN!"

Macklin barely had time to turn before June crashed into him, throwing her arms around him in the biggest hug imaginable. Will, laughing, barely had time to react before she grabbed him too.She held onto both of them way too tight, face buried in Macklin's shoulder, because she was so proud she didn't even have words.

"You guys," she choked out, voice muffled. "You guys are—ugh! I'm so proud of you!" Macklin laughed, squeezing her back. "June, you're literally crying." She pulled back just enough to wipe at her eyes, sniffling. "Shut up, I'm not."

Will smirked. "Oh, she totally is." Macklin nodded. "Big time." June groaned. "I hate you both." Will grinned. "Love you too."

Macklin slung an arm around her shoulder, still smiling. "Thanks for being here, Junie." June sniffed, rolling her eyes. "Where else would I be?"

Because honestly?

There was nowhere else she'd rather be.

⸻ William Eklund was already down bad. But after tonight?

It was getting worse.

William was still coming down from the high of their first win when he took a moment to breathe, slumping back against the bench as the final cheers from the crowd echoed through the arena. That's when he saw her. June.

She was still in the tunnel, grinning like an idiot, her arms wrapped around Macklin and Will like they had just won the Stanley Cup. The way she smothered them, pulling them in, eyes bright with pride—it was so genuine, so soft, so full of love that it actually made his chest ache.

And the worst part? The look on their faces.

Macklin and Will—who normally acted like two little menaces—completely melted.

Macklin let himself be squeezed half to death, grinning through it. Will actually laughed into her shoulder, nudging her playfully but not pulling away.

They just... let her love them.

And William? William realized he wanted that too.

He wanted her looking at him like that. He wanted her throwing her arms around him, laughing, telling him she was proud.

God, he was so screwed.

Later, in the locker room, Macklin leaned against his stall, arms crossed. "Okay," he said, tilting his head toward William. "We need to do something." Will, peeling off his tape, raised an eyebrow. "About what?" Macklin scoffed. "Are you serious?"

Will followed his gaze toward where William was sitting, fully staring at June from across the room, looking like a lovesick puppy. Will smirked. "Oh. That."

Macklin rolled his eyes. "Dude, it's getting embarrassing." William was barely trying to be subtle. June was just talking to Ferraro, completely oblivious, but William was staring at her, practically drooling.

"I mean, come on," Macklin continued, nudging Will. "Look at him. He's helpless." Will snorted. "I bet if she even looked in his direction right now, he'd combust."

Macklin smirked. "Wanna test that theory?" Will grinned. "Oh, absolutely."

"Okay, hear me out," Will said, leaning in. "We make him jealous." Macklin raised an eyebrow. "You think that'll work?" Will nodded. "Dude. He's already in the deep end. We just gotta make him feel like he's actually losing her."

Macklin hummed, considering. "And how do we do that?" Will grinned. "I'll flirt with her."

Macklin immediately started laughing. "Oh, that's evil."

Will shrugged. "Gotta do what we gotta do." Macklin smirked. "Alright, let's see if this works." _

The next morning, June was walking through the facility, minding her business, when Will suddenly appeared beside her.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he said smoothly.

June almost tripped. "...What." Will grinned. "Just appreciating beauty when I see it."

June narrowed her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," Will said way too innocently. "Can't a guy just compliment his favorite person?"

Okay.

Weird.

But this was Will. So instead of overthinking it, June just rolled her eyes. "Right. Sure."

Will patted her shoulder. "Looking forward to spending the day with you, sweetheart."

And then he just... walked off.

June blinked.

What.

The.

Hell.

William witnessed the entire thing. And immediately malfunctioned. Will had barely touched her, had just thrown a few dumb compliments, and yet William felt actual, physical heat crawling up his neck.

Why was Will talking to her like that? Why was June smiling at him like it was normal? WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

He was so busy panicking that he didn't even realize Macklin had been watching him the whole time.

Macklin smirked. "Something wrong, Eky?" William blinked, still staring after June and Will. "Huh?"

Macklin grinned. "You look... distracted." William scowled. "Shut up."

Macklin snorted. Oh yeah. This was gonna be fun. If William Eklund thought things couldn't get worse, he was very, very wrong. Because Will Smith was escalating.

And William? William was losing his mind.

It started the second June walked into the practice facility. She had barely taken two steps before Will was right there, flashing his biggest, most ridiculous grin.

"Junie," he greeted smoothly. "You're glowing today."

June, already skeptical, blinked. "I... what?"

Will placed a hand over his heart. "It's true. You brighten this entire place."

Okay. What the hell was going on? June narrowed her eyes. "Alright. What do you want?" Will gasped, offended. "I'm just being nice!"

"You're being weird."

"I'm being appreciative." June sighed. "Of what?" Will smirked. "Of you, obviously." June stared at him for a solid five seconds.

Then?

She just shook her head and walked away.

Weird. But again—this was Will. So she didn't think much of it.

William, however? William was dying. He had been right there, watching the whole thing, and holy shit. Will was so obvious.

The way he tilted his head just right, the stupid smooth tone of his voice, the way he just kept smiling at her like she was the best thing in the world— William was going to explode.

And the worst part? June didn't even seem fazed. She just rolled her eyes and kept moving, like Will flirting with her was normal. Like she was used to it.

William hated that. Macklin, standing beside him, smirked. "You good, bud?" William gritted his teeth. "I'm fine."

Macklin snorted. "Right. Totally believe that." Macklin just patted his shoulder. "Whenever you're ready to, you know, actually do something about this, let us know."

William groaned, running a hand through his hair. Yeah. That wasn't happening anytime soon. If William thought Will was done for the day, he was so wrong. Because later, when they were in the gym, stretching before practice, Will decided to take things a step further.

June was standing by the benches, scrolling through her phone, completely minding her own business.

And Will? Will casually walked over, plucked her phone out of her hand, and sat beside her. "Hey," he said, grinning. "You look a little tense." June frowned. "What—"

And then? Will reached out and started massaging her shoulders.

William almost had a stroke. June froze. Then, slowly, painfully, turned her head to look at him.

"...What are you doing." Will, completely unbothered, kept massaging. "Just helping you relax."

June stared at him. "Dude."

"What?"

"This is weird."

Will sighed dramatically. "See? You never let yourself be taken care of." June pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh my god."

But she didn't immediately push him away, just let out a long, exhausted sigh before finally grabbing his wrists and prying his hands off.

"Okay. Enough." Will smirked. "You love me."

"I tolerate you." Will winked. "Close enough."

William Eklund needed help. William had been watching all of this from across the room, barely holding it together. He felt like his brain was on fire.

What was Will doing?! Why was June letting him?! WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING IN FRONT OF HIM?!

His jaw was so tight he thought his teeth might crack. He didn't even realize how tense he looked until Ferraro passed by and gave him a knowing look.

"Something wrong, Eky?" he asked, amused.

William, glaring at Will, muttered, "Jag ska döda honom." Ferraro snorted. "Don't need to speak Swedish to know what that means."

William groaned, dropping his head back against the bench. He was never going to survive this.

⸻June Johnson had way too much in her hands.

She had one camera bag slung over her shoulder, a stack of memory cards tucked in her arm, and an iced coffee balancing precariously in her grasp.

She was one wrong move away from disaster. And, of course, that's exactly what happened.

She had been power-walking down the hallway toward the media room, fully convinced she could make it without incident. And then?

She bumped into someone. Her elbow knocked against them just hard enough, and—

One of the memory cards slipped from her grip, tumbling toward the floor. She cursed under her breath and immediately went to grab it. What she didn't realize was that the person she had bumped into—William Eklund—had done the exact same thing.

And just like that—

Their hands collided.

It was barely anything.

Just a quick brush of fingertips, warm skin against warm skin, but it lingered for just a fraction of a second longer than necessary. June barely had time to process it before William yanked his hand back like he'd been electrocuted.

Her brow furrowed. "Woah." William, visibly flustered, refused to look at her. "Sorry."

June grabbed the memory card and straightened, eyeing him. "It's fine. You okay?"

William cleared his throat, still avoiding eye contact. "Yes. Fine. Totally fine."

June narrowed her eyes.

Weird.

So weird.

But before she could push it further, William mumbled another quick apology and walked away. She watched him go, shifting the equipment in her arms.

"...Alright."

She had no idea what just happened. But one thing was becoming very clear.

William Eklund was acting really, really weird around her. And for the first time, she actually wanted to figure out why.

⸻ William Eklund had a problem.

And that problem?

June Johnson.

Because somehow, without realizing it, he had spent the entire night keeping an eye on her. The night had started like any other team outing. The Sharks were in Canada, celebrating a win in one of the liveliest bars in the city. The place was packed, the music loud, drinks flowing, and the energy electric.

June had arrived with Macklin and Will, just like always, falling into her usual spot between them like they were an inseparable trio. And William? William shouldn't have cared. He should have been focused on his own night, drinking, laughing with the guys, letting loose after a good game.

Instead?

His gaze kept drifting. Not intentionally—at least, not at first. But every time she laughed at something, every time she leaned against Macklin's shoulder, every time she flashed that stupid, perfect smile, his brain short-circuited. And then, when Macklin and Will got distracted, when she was off talking to someone else, he found himself checking on her.

Was she okay? Was she having fun?

Who was she talking to?

He had no reason to be watching her this much. No reason at all. And yet, there he was.

Sitting at the table, barely hearing what Ferraro was saying, because he was too busy making sure June was good.

And that? That's how he noticed.

He had been watching her—not intentionally, just subconsciously, scanning the bar like always—when he saw it.

A guy.

Too close.

June tense.

William sat up, spine snapping straight. At first, it was just mild concern.

Maybe she knew him. Maybe she was fine.

Then—

The guy reached for her.

Something in William's chest snapped. Before he even thought about it—before he even processed what he was doing—he was moving. It was pure instinct.

One second, he was at the table. The next?

He was right there.

His hand landed on June's wrist, and in a flash, he pulled her behind him. The second he did it—the second he put himself between her and the guy—his brain switched off.

No nerves. No hesitation. No overthinking.

Just pure, protective instinct. And for the first time ever, he wasn't flustered around her.

Because right now? She needed him. And that? That was the only thing that mattered.

"Back off." His voice was low, sharp, and dangerously calm.

The guy, clearly drunk, scoffed. "Relax, man. We're just talking."

William didn't move.

Didn't blink.

Didn't budge an inch.

"She's not interested," he said coolly. "Walk away."

The guy rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath, but after a moment, he made the right choice and left.

It wasn't until the guy was gone that William's brain started functioning again. And that's when he realized—

He still had his hand on June.

Oh.

Oh no.

The protective instinct that had taken over? Gone.

Now?

All that was left was panic.

He turned to check on her, his heartbeat still racing, and the moment their eyes met, it hit him all at once.

How close they were. How his hand was still gripping her wrist. How she was looking up at him with wide, unreadable eyes.

His brain completely melted.

Before he could let go, apologize, or run away forever, June suddenly smiled.

Soft.

Grateful.

And then?

She kissed his cheek.

William stopped breathing.

It was so fast—barely a second, just a light press of her lips to his skin—but it destroyed him.

The warmth. The softness. The casual, effortless way she did it—

William was dead.

Actually, physically deceased. And then? She just patted his chest, smiled like nothing happened, and said—

"Thanks, Eky." Then she walked back to the table like it was nothing. He stood there, completely frozen, hand still hovering in midair like an idiot.

His face was on fire. His brain was empty.

And then—

"Ohhh my god."

A voice.

A voice that sent pure fear down his spine.

William turned, and—

Macklin and Will. Watching the whole thing. And losing their minds.

Will was gasping for air. Macklin was halfway to the floor, wheezing. "Oh my god," Will repeated. "DID SHE JUST—"

"Oh, he's so gone," Macklin choked out. "Look at him. LOOK AT HIM."

William's ears were ringing.

He needed to leave.

Right now.

Immediately.

But he couldn't.

Because he was still standing there, still feeling the ghost of her lips on his cheek, still trying to process that June Johnson had just kissed him.

And worst of all?

He had no idea what it meant.

⸻ June Johnson had made one mistake tonight. And that mistake? Thinking she could get through the rest of the night without being interrogated.

By now, it was common knowledge around the team that Will, Macklin, and June always shared a hotel room.

It was ridiculous—they were literal NHL rookies, not kids at summer camp. But somehow, every single road trip, they managed to convince the team staff to let them bunk together.

Why? Because they couldn't function without each other. (Also because Will and Macklin were man-children who needed supervision, but June wouldn't admit that out loud.)

So when they got back to the hotel after the bar, she should have known what was coming.

The moment June walked in, Will threw himself onto the bed, dramatically sprawling out like he had just run a marathon. Macklin, meanwhile, plopped onto the couch, cracking open a water bottle.

And then—at the exact same time—they both turned to her. And grinned.

June froze. "What." Will wiggled his eyebrows. "Sooo..." Macklin smirked. "How's Eky?"

June's stomach dropped.

Oh, god.

They knew.

She forced herself to act casual, dropping her bag by the dresser. "Uh... fine?"

Will snorted. "That's all you're gonna say?"

June narrowed her eyes. "What are you two getting at?"

Macklin leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Oh, I don't know," he said casually. "Maybe the fact that you kissed him."

June instantly turned red. "It wasn't a kiss."

Will gasped, clutching his chest. "IT WAS A KISS."

June groaned. "It was barely anything. It was on the cheek."

Macklin smirked. "Did your lips touch his skin?"

June hesitated. "...Yes?"

Will sat up straight. "DID HE TURN BRIGHT RED AFTER?"

She huffed. "Obviously."

Macklin grinned. "Then it counts."

June covered her face. "Oh my god, you guys are so annoying." Will kicked his feet like an excited child. "So, tell us everything. How was it? How did it feel? Was it soft? Did he smell good? Did he—"

"STOP," June groaned. "It wasn't a big deal."

Macklin scoffed. "Oh, it was a huge deal."

Will nodded aggressively. "Eky's probably still in shock. You fried his entire brain."

June sighed, throwing herself onto the bed. "You guys are making this so much bigger than it was."

Macklin raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you just go around kissing people on the cheek all the time?"

June glared. "I WAS THANKING HIM."

Will grinned. "Sure. Sure."

Macklin smirked. "You know he's in love with you, right?"

June froze. Her stomach did something weird. She sat up quickly. "He is not."

Macklin and Will exchanged a look. "Oh, she's in denial," Will whispered.

Macklin nodded. "Big time."

June crossed her arms. "He doesn't like me like that. He's just... shy."

Will snorted. "Junie. He literally worships the ground you walk on."

June's face heated up.

Macklin shrugged. "Honestly, I'm kinda impressed with you." She frowned. "What?"

Macklin smirked. "You broke him. I've never seen Eky that flustered before. He might actually be in a coma right now."

June groaned. "You guys are the worst."

Will flopped back onto the pillows, grinning. "Face it, Junie," he said. "You're in trouble."

And, for the first time, June was starting to think he might be right.

⸻ Tyler Toffoli had played in the NHL for a long time. He had seen a lot. He had been on championship teams, endured chaotic locker rooms, and witnessed some of the most ridiculous bets ever made between teammates.

But somehow?

Somehow, this might be the dumbest one yet.

They were on the road, heading into Buffalo for the next game on their trip. The usual post-practice bus chatter filled the air—guys talking about dinner plans, chirping each other about bad drills, and overall just keeping the mood light. Tyler was sitting near the middle, scrolling through his phone, when a voice from behind him made him pause.

"Alright," Will Smith said, loud enough for half the bus to hear. "Let's make things interesting."

Tyler sighed. It was never good when Will started sentences like that. Henry Thrun, sitting near the front, barely turned around. "This ought to be good."

Will grinned. "If Mack, Toff, and I all score against Buffalo, then Toff has to—" He turned dramatically. "Join our legendary sleepover."

Tyler blinked. "...Your what?"

Macklin Celebrini smirked. "Oh, he doesn't know." Mario Ferraro snorted. "Dude, they have a whole routine."

Tyler, confused, looked between them. "You guys still do sleepovers?"

Will grinned proudly. "Hell yeah, we do."

"I—" Tyler shook his head. "Why?"

June, sitting two rows ahead, barely glanced up from her phone. "They're codependent." Will ignored her. "It's tradition. And you can't really talk, you're a part of it."

Tyler rubbed his temples. "Okay, but why me?"

Macklin smirked. "Because we need to test your loyalty." Tyler scoffed. "And what are the chances all three of us actually score?"

Will shrugged. "Low."

Macklin nodded. "But if it happens, you're in."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Not gonna happen anyway."

It did, in fact, happen. Will scored in the first period, skating past the bench with a cocky grin, pointing at Tyler. Then Macklin tipped one in on the power play. And then, because the universe hated him, Tyler sniped one in the third.

The bench erupted.

But instead of normal goal celebrations, Tyler was met with immediate chirping. "Ohhh, Toff," Thrun teased. "You're in trouble now."

Will and Macklin bounced on the bench screaming "Sleepover! Sleepover!!" Tyler groaned. "Oh my god."

By the time they got back to the hotel, Tyler was praying everyone had forgotten.

They did not. Because the coaching staff got involved.

David Quinn, standing in the hallway post-game, grinned when he saw Tyler. "So, Toffoli," he smirked. "You ready for your sleepover?"

Tyler stared. "Coach, please." Mario Ferraro walked by, dying of laughter. "Gotta follow through, bud."

And just like that?

Tyler had no way out.

When Tyler finally showed up to their hotel room, dragging a stupid rollaway cot behind him, he had one thought.

What the hell did I just get myself into?

Because what he expected was a normal setup.

What he got was a full-fledged system.     •    Will and June were in one bed.     •    Macklin was in the other.     •    There was a plate of cookies and two glasses of milk on the bedside table.     •    And a stupid spot was set up at the foot of both beds for his cot.

Tyler blinked. "You guys are unreal."

Will beamed. "Welcome to the fam, Toff."

Macklin smirked. "Did you actually think we were joking?"

Tyler exhaled. "I was hoping."

June, casually scrolling on her phone, snorted. "Well, you're here now."

"Okay," Will said, pulling out his phone. "Photo time."

Tyler groaned. "Is this really necessary?"

Macklin grinned. "Oh, 100%."

They took the stupidest, most ridiculous photo possible—Tyler lying stiff on his cot, looking miserable, June and Will grinning like gremlins, and Macklin flashing a peace sign from his bed.

June shook her head. "This is absurd."

Will grinned. "It's tradition."

At first, Tyler thought, Okay. Fine. We'll go to sleep now. It was 3am, what else were you supposed to do.

Wrong.

Because Macklin and Will would. Not. Shut. Up.

They talked about everything. The game. The best goal celebrations. Some random inside joke that made zero sense.

June?

She just sat there on her phone, occasionally chiming in like this was completely normal. Tyler turned to her. "How are you just... ignoring this?"

June shrugged. "You get used to it."

Tyler sighed. "I don't think I will."

And then—

Mid-sentence, Will just stopped talking. Tyler frowned. "What the—"

He looked up—Will was just... asleep. Out. Like a light.

Macklin didn't even react.

June, without missing a beat, just sat up, pulled the covers over Will, then rolled over and fell asleep too.

Tyler stared. "What," he whispered. "The hell just happened?"

Macklin yawned. "It's just how it is."

Tyler frowned. "What do you mean?"

Macklin shrugged. "Will has a hard time sleeping alone. He started bunking with June because it helped. And somewhere along the way, I joined too."

Tyler stared.

Slowly, it started to make sense. It wasn't just some dumb rookie sleepover.

It was... routine. A weird, chaotic, ridiculously wholesome routine. And June? She wasn't just their friend. She was their person. Their family. Their everything.

The one who made everything easier, lighter, better.

Tyler shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips.

This was insane.

But also?

Kind of perfect.

Before turning over to sleep, Tyler pulled out his phone. He stared at the stupid photo they had taken earlier. Then, before he could overthink it, he posted it to his Instagram.

Caption: "Reporting for duty 🫡"

He tossed his phone on the nightstand and settled in.

Yeah.

This team?

This team was something special.

⸻ William Eklund had survived a lot in his career.

Gruelling practices. Hard-fought games. The relentless chirping of his teammates.

But this? This was worse than all of that combined. Because June Johnson was flirting with him.

And she was doing it on purpose.

William had been suffering in silence for months, convinced that June saw him as nothing more than a teammate, a coworker, a friend of a friend.

He had resigned himself to his quiet, torturous little crush. And then, out of nowhere, everything changed. It was like a switch flipped. Because suddenly, overnight, June started acting... different.

Not in a way anyone else would notice.

But he noticed.

At first, he thought he was imagining it. The way she started standing closer to him in conversations. The way her fingers would brush his wrist when she handed him something. The way she'd lean in, just slightly, when they were talking, like she was completely comfortable in his space.

And then came the comments. The too-casual, too-smooth compliments that made his entire brain malfunction.

"Looking good today, Eky," she had tossed out casually, winking as she walked past.

Or worse—after practice, when she'd toss him a water bottle and say, "Stay hydrated, pretty boy."

PRETTY BOY.

William had fully choked on his own spit.

Ferraro had had to thump him on the back to save him.

June?

She had just grinned and walked away. She was doing this on purpose. He was sure of it now. And it was killing him.

Unfortunately, William was not subtle.

The team picked up on it immediately. They watched as June slowly turned up the heat, adding more teasing, more touches, more deliberate moments that left William looking completely fried.

And the guys?

They were thriving off his suffering.

"Eky, man," Hertl grinned one day. "You look stressed."

"Yeah," Ferraro added. "Everything okay? You seem a little... distracted."

William, completely red, grumbled, "I'm fine."

The worst part?

June had heard the whole thing. And instead of saving him, she had just smirked. Like she knew exactly what she was doing.

It finally reached critical levels one afternoon after practice. William had spent the entire day dodging her, avoiding eye contact, trying to survive.

And then—

She cornered him.

It was just the two of them in the media room, the door clicking shut behind them.

William's heart was already racing, just from being alone with her.

And then—

She leaned against the table, crossed her arms, and smirked.

"So," she said casually. "When are you going to ask me out on a date?"

He stopped breathing.

His brain shut down.

She just— She actually—

WHAT.

She was looking at him, waiting for an answer, and oh my god.

She knew.

She had known this whole time.

And now?

Now she was messing with him.

William opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

He tried again.

Still nothing.

His face was so red, he could actually feel the heat in his skin.

June tilted her head, amused. "Eky?" she teased. "You good?"

No.

No, he was absolutely not good.

He was broken.

And June was loving it.

⸻ William Eklund had been barely holding himself together for weeks.

But this?

This was a new level of suffering. And it all started with a movie night ambush.

William had no idea what he was walking into. Will and Macklin had texted him earlier:

Will: Movie night at ours. Get here ASAP. Macklin: We got snacks.

William, thinking it was just the three of them, didn't hesitate. But when he walked in, he realized immediately—

He had been set up.

Because sitting on the couch, curled up in the coziest, most unfairly cute outfit imaginable, was June.

William was done for.

She wasn't in her usual media attire. She wasn't wearing her Sharks press pass, or running around with cameras, or giving him heart attacks by casually calling him "pretty boy."

No.

She was wearing sweats, an oversized Sharks hoodie (probably Will or Macklin's), huge glasses, and a messy bun.

And William?

William short-circuited on the spot.

She looked so soft. So effortless. So perfect. She looked so different from the sharp, witty, always-in-control June he was used to. And somehow, that made it so much worse.

She looked like she belonged here.

William could not stop staring.

"Eky," June greeted, smiling up at him. "Didn't know you were coming." William forgot how to speak.

Because her voice was so soft. And she was hugging a pillow to her chest. And she was wearing glasses.

And oh god.

He was in so much trouble. Will and Macklin, of course, noticed immediately. Will barely suppressed a grin. "Yeah, we... forgot to mention June was here."

Macklin smirked. "Hope that's cool."

William, still completely malfunctioning, just nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, totally. Cool. Fine."

Will snorted. "You sure, bud?"

William forced himself to sit down, taking the safest possible spot—the chair across from the couch, as far from June as possible.

Macklin and Will exchanged a look.

Oh, this was gonna be fun.

The next night, the team had a bonding event planned. Bowling. Which should have been normal, fun, low-stress. But of course, that was before June decided to completely ruin William's life.

"Alright," Couture called out. "Pair up, let's get the teams set."

Before William could even think about what was happening, June appeared right next to him. She looped her arm through his, looked up at him with a sweet, innocent smile, and said,

"Me and Eky are a team." William's brain immediately malfunctioned. The guys immediately noticed.

"Ohhh," Toff grinned. "Interesting choice."

Will, barely containing his excitement, leaned over to Macklin. "This is gonna be so good."

Macklin nodded. "Eky's gonna combust."

And honestly?

They weren't wrong.

It started small.

She made little touches—brushing her fingers against his when she grabbed the bowling ball, nudging him when she laughed.

Then, it got worse.

She fixed the collar of his hoodie, totally casual, completely unaware of how William's soul left his body.

And then, when he went up to take his turn—

She stood way too close behind him. She leaned in and whispered, "No pressure, but I expect a strike."

And William?

William bowled the worst shot of his life.

The ball went straight into the gutter.

And the team?

Lost their minds.

"Oh my god," Will howled, actually falling onto the seats.

"Eky," Mario teased. "What the hell was that?"

William had no words. He just turned, fully red, looking at June. She was smirking. Like she knew exactly what she was doing.

And then, like she hadn't just completely ruined his night—

She patted his back and said, "You'll get 'em next time, pretty boy."

William wanted to scream.

At this point, William was barely hanging on. And Macklin and Will? Decided to help. Which, of course, made it so much worse.

They started pushing William toward June at random moments. They wingmanned him so hard it was embarrassing.

"Oh, you guys look good together," Macklin said loudly.

"Right?" Will grinned. "Power couple."

William wanted to die.

June?

June just laughed and played along.

"Oh, totally," she smirked. "We make a great team." William was one second away from actually combusting.

⸻William Eklund had reached his breaking point. For weeks, he had been tortured. June had been flirting relentlessly, finding every possible excuse to touch him, tease him, ruin his entire existence.

And worst of all? She knew exactly what she was doing.

Then, the other night, she had straight-up asked him when he was going to ask her out.

And William?

William had said nothing. He had just stood there buffering like a broken computer.

Pathetic.

Which is why, today, he was done. "What if I mess up?" William asked, pacing back and forth in the locker room.

Zetterlund leaned against his stall, arms crossed. "Eky, buddy, you've already messed up."

William groaned. "Okay, but—"

"No. No more 'but,'" Zetterlund cut in. "You're asking her out today."

William ran a hand through his hair. "I had a plan." Zetterlund raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" William nodded. "I was going to wait for the perfect moment."

Zetterlund sighed. "Dude, you had the perfect moment. She literally asked you when you were going to do it."

William groaned again, covering his face. "I KNOW."

Zetterlund clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me, okay? Just keep it simple. 'June, go out with me.' That's it."

William took a deep breath. He could do that.

Right?

The plan was simple. June did her "Question of the Day" segments every morning. All he had to do was wait until she finished, walk up, and ask her out.

He had it all rehearsed—every word planned out perfectly in his head.

But then...

He saw her.

She was standing in the hallway, smiling, laughing, looking unfairly beautiful, and—

His brain turned to static.

Before he even knew what was happening, he was walking toward her.

And then—

Words started falling out of his mouth.

"H—hey, um, I was wondering if, uh—well, you see—what I meant was—um—if you, like—wanted, um—go, uh, eat—dinner? With—me? Or something? At some point. Maybe. I don't know. No—I mean, I do know. I mean—I want to. Do you want to?"

Silence.

Absolute.

Painful.

Silence.

June just stared at him.

William wanted to jump into the nearest trash can.

Then—

She smiled.

And oh god.

She was blushing.

"Are you asking me out, Eky?" she asked, tilting her head. William, fully malfunctioning, just nodded.

June's smile grew.

"Then yes," she said softly.

William stopped breathing.

Then, as if she hadn't just completely ruined his life, she leaned in—

And pressed a kiss to his cheek.

But not just anywhere. Dangerously close to his lips.

William was dead.

June pulled away, grinning at his stunned expression. "Pick me up at seven?" she asked.

William, still not functioning as a human being, just nodded wordlessly. June gave him one last teasing look before walking away. Leaving William standing there, completely frozen.

That's when he felt two hands clap onto his shoulders. "Ohhh buddy," Macklin wheezed.

Will, barely holding it together, patted his back. "You okay, champ?"

William said nothing. He just stared into the void.

Macklin and Will looked at each other. Then—they burst out laughing. "Oh, this is too good," Will gasped.

Macklin shook his head. "She broke him."

William, still completely stunned, just whispered "What just happened?"

Will grinned. "You got a date, Eky." Macklin smirked. "And a near-kiss." Will waggled his eyebrows. "She's bold, huh?"

William was still buffering. Macklin clapped him on the back. "You're so screwed, dude."

And honestly?

He was.

⸻ William Eklund had never been this nervous in his entire life.

Not for his NHL debut. Not for a shootout attempt. Not even for post-game interviews where he had to answer questions in English instead of Swedish.

This?

This was worse than all of that combined.

Because tonight? He was taking June Johnson on a date.

When William pulled up to June's place, he felt like he was going to be sick. His hands were clammy, his heart was pounding, and he could already feel the team's chirps echoing in his brain.

But then—

She stepped outside.

And William?

William almost forgot how to breathe.

She looked stunning. Her hair was in natural curls, bouncing with every step she took. Her eyes were bright, glowing, filled with excitement. And her smile?

Her smile was going to kill him.

She was wearing something simple—jeans, sneakers, a cozy sweater—but she had never looked prettier.

William actually felt his jaw drop.

"Oh," he blurted before he could stop himself.

June raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh?"

William, still short-circuiting, cleared his throat aggressively. "You look—uh—really, really, really—"

Stop saying 'really'—

"—really pretty."

June laughed, eyes crinkling. "Thanks, William."

Then—as if she hadn't just melted his entire brain—she stepped forward and hugged him.

And to make things so much worse for him?

She kissed his cheek.

Again.

William fully blacked out.

June pulled away, grinning. "Are we ready?" William, still struggling to recover, just nodded. "Yeah. Uh. Yep."

He quickly thrust the bouquet of daisies toward her. "These are for you."

June's face softened immediately. "Daisies?" she murmured. William rubbed the back of his neck. "They're your favorite, right?"

June blinked.

Then—to his complete horror—her eyes started glistening.

"I can't believe you remembered that," she whispered. William panicked. "Did I do something wrong?" June laughed, blinking away tears. "No, you idiot. You just did something really sweet."

William, already red, opened the car door for her. "You deserve sweet things."

June stared at him. William immediately felt like he said too much. But before he could freak out completely, June smiled, slipping into the car. Then—just as he was about to close the door—she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"William..." He froze.

June squeezed his fingers gently. "You don't have to be so nervous," she said softly. "I like you, okay? A lot. And I'm glad we're going on a date. Let's just focus on that."

William's chest tightened.

How was she so effortless?

How was she so easy to be around?

He swallowed, nodding. "Okay."

She smiled. "Good."

And just like that, he felt himself relax.

⸻ By the time they got to the arcade, William felt significantly less like he was about to throw up. And after about ten minutes, he was actually having fun.

Because June? June was competitive.

"I hope you're ready to lose, Eky," she said, cracking her knuckles as they approached the basketball hoops. William smirked. "I play hockey, not basketball. You should win this one." June grinned. "We'll see."

The timer started.

Balls flew.

And to William's surprise—

June was actually good.

Like, weirdly good.

"Okay, what the hell," he muttered, watching as she sunk shot after shot with perfect form. June laughed. "You didn't know I played in high school?"

"No!" William gawked. "You were actually an athlete?" June smirked. "What, did you just think I was some media nerd?"

William grinned. "Yes." June gasped, feigning offense. "You take that back."

William laughed.

And for the first time all night, he felt like himself.

⸻ The rest of the night was filled with games, teasing, and ridiculous bets. William beat her at air hockey. June destroyed him at Dance Dance Revolution. He got way too competitive during Mario Kart. She giggled every time he muttered Swedish curses under his breath when he lost.

And somewhere along the way?

June realized something.

She was so, so smitten.

Because William Eklund?

Was the absolute sweetest.

He was a gentleman—opening doors, making sure she was warm, letting her pick the games. He was hilarious—constantly chirping her, making her laugh until her stomach hurt. And most of all?

He was so, so easy to be around.

This wasn't just a date. This was fun. June didn't want it to end.

As they left the arcade, June nudged him. "So," she teased. "Was this so bad?"

William grinned. "No." She smiled. "Good."

They reached the car. And then—

Before William could open the door for her, June turned and tugged on his hoodie.

William froze.

"William?" she murmured.

His pulse skyrocketed. "Yeah?"

She looked up at him, eyes soft. "I had fun tonight," she said.

William swallowed. "Me too." June bit her lip. "We should do it again."

William's stomach flipped. "Yeah?" he asked. June smiled. "Yeah."

Then—because she clearly wasn't done torturing him—

She leaned in. And kissed his cheek.

Again.

But this time? It lasted just a second longer. And it was way too close to his lips.

William actually forgot how to breathe. By the time he snapped out of it, June was already grinning at him.

Oh, yeah.

He was so in trouble.

⸻William Eklund had never felt this happy in his entire life.

As he drove home from June's house, his fingers tapped against the steering wheel, his heart still racing, his mind replaying every second of the night.

The laughs. The way she looked at him. The way she kissed his cheek—so close, so soft, like she was waiting for him to do something.

And suddenly—

He couldn't take it anymore. His pulse skyrocketed as a wave of pure confidence rushed through him. Without even thinking, he slammed the brakes, threw the car into reverse, and sped back toward her place.

June had barely made it inside when the doorbell rang. She frowned.

Who the hell—

When she opened the door, she was met with William. Breathless. Wild-eyed. Looking at her like she was the only thing in the entire world.

"William?" she blinked, confused.

He didn't answer.

Didn't hesitate.

Didn't think.

He just moved.

One second, she was standing there, trying to process what was happening.

The next?

His hands were cupping her face, his body was stepping forward, and his lips were crashing into hers.

June was frozen for a second.

But then—

She melted.

The kiss.

It was desperate. All of tension unraveling in a single moment.

His hands were firm, holding her like he was afraid she'd disappear. His lips were soft, warm, urgent against hers. And his body—

God.

His body was pressed so close, she could feel his heartbeat racing as fast as hers. She barely had time to react before she was gripping his hoodie, pulling him closer, kissing him back with everything she had.

Because this?

This was what she had been waiting for. And the way William was kissing her? Like he had been dying to do this. Like he had been waiting just as long. It sent shivers down her spine.

When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathless. June, still gripping his hoodie, stared up at him. William, face flushed, chest heaving, stared back.

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them needed to. Because in that moment? Everything was finally clear.

William exhaled a laugh, still looking at her like she was unreal. "I, uh..." He swallowed. "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

June's lips curled into a soft, dazed smile.

"Good," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his. "Because I couldn't stop thinking about you either."

William closed his eyes, breathing her in.

Relief.

That's what this was. This was finally happening.

And neither of them were running from it anymore.

[tryingtofindava]

pls im begging for dating ticci toby headcanons 🙏🙏

──𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ‘𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢’ 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

THIS HAS BEEN UPDATED!!

: ̗̀➛ Back to source

My god.

This boy is full of so much love.

Y’all take FOREVER to actually get together.

It got to the point where Toby got frustrated and was all like “should I just kill them?” (Assuming you ain’t a proxy)

What I’m tryna say is he’s sorta oblivious to his feelings towards you.

But he’s so scared to get attached to you, cuz every time he’s ever gotten close to someone they die.

But when y’all (finally) get together after a long ahh slow burn.

YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST OMD.

He was so surprised that you said yes when he asked you out. Like- you? The pretty girl who he had the the pleasure of becoming friends with???? Says yes to him????

He’s so happy

Buttttttttttttttt.

So awkward it’s almost painful.

One time you kissed him on his cheek, bro was all like ‘🧍’

But when you guys get past that awkward stage? You guys are practically attached to the hip.

And I know most of the fandom hates the ‘soft Toby’ stereotype, but I feel like that’s just how he is w you (though he does have his moments…)

Lots of reassurance. It’s needed if y’all wanna last.

He isn’t used to have someone be so affectionate towards him. Since deadass the only person who’s showed him genuine love was Lyra.

When y’all first met, he’d always wear a massive ass bandage over the gash on his cheek.

Every time you saw it you gave him the ‘🤨’ look, which he’s just shrug it off. And when you’d ask him about it, he’d say something like:

“It’s ruh-rude to ask t-that.”

He’d even continue wearing it INTO your dating life, he’ll eventually cave in since it’s been around 8 months of him wearing it around you. And a wound would normally be healed by now. He wasn’t at all surprised by your reaction of shock. He’ll always have it on out of the apartment though. No exceptions.

His pet names are always the sweetest.

He calls you ‘pretty thing’ soooo much it became a tic.

Speaking of pet names I feel like he’d also give you lots of nicknames in German. (Since he has German relatives and learned to speak it at a young age :P)

Stuff like Maus, Hase, Schatz, Liebling, Blume, hübsches Mädchen, meine Liebe. And those are just his favourites, there is many more.

Eskimo kisses? Eskimo kisses. He thrives off them, or maybe he just thrives off positive attention…. Definitely the latter.

He try’s his best to keep the whole murder part of his life away from you. But it’s obvious so… that was one long night of going over things.

Anywaysssss.

AQUARIUM DATES! Y’all get in your grandpa jumpers and walk around the aquarium holding hands and looking at all the cool fish n’ shit.

HE LOVES LOVES LOVES NECK KISSES.

He’s a slut for knowing he’s yours.

He loves teasing the shit outta you for being short. Even though he’s like 3 inches taller…

“I’ve been b-breaking my buh-back k-k-kissing you, babe.”

“Piss off.”

He loves laying between your legs with his face flushed against your chest while you run your fingers through his hair and itch his scalp.

When you guys are sleeping, you’ll constantly have to make sure he doesn’t get too over headed or cold due to his CIPA.

Speaking of sleeping, he grinds his teeth while he’s dreaming. So just gently grab his chin to stop him. And he’s a deep ass sleeper so he won’t feel it lol.

He isn’t a big fan of PDA when you guys aren’t behind closed doors, but he’ll ALWAYS hold your hand.

On the less sappy note, when he’s having a tic attack he will not allow you to come near him. He’s so scared of hurting you.

And when he’s having an episode?

Make sure you stay calm. And maybe get to him before he gets to you. He’ll be so upset if he did hurt you while going through one of his schizophrenic like states.

To help him through his manic episode, stay as calm as you can, let him know that, although you don’t share the belief that it’s real, you understand that it is real to him. Try and keep focused on supporting him with how he’s feeling in that moment, rather than confirming or challenging his reality.

If he does snap at you, he’ll feel so guilty. He will think that he’s just like his dad.

He’ll probably disappear for a few days, but when he comes back he’s begging for you to not leave him. Like he’s full on sobbing.

Hold him.

He’s clingy. Like super clingy. Clingy to the point where it just becomes obnoxious. And gets a bit irritating but he means well :(

He loves you like a dog, and he’ll do anything for you. He trusts you with his whole being and hopes you feel the same.

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

[doolkat]

Digital circus episode 4 thoughts: Gangle characther analysis,theory!

Digital Circus episode 4 thoughts .

SPOILERS BELOW!!

oKEY so. Ive seen people say they think Gangle´s mask is as in "masking" for autism, for that I say...maybe BUT I have completely different thought-

She is masking her depression,

Gangle is clinically depressed,she is a very sensitive and over all heart in her sleeve type of person, her happy masks usally breaks easily because she can´t really hold her feelings in for too long,if it was up to her she would never take her happy mask off. Think of the song by Paramore "Fake Happy". Thats her.

We see this in this episode, the toxic positivity and her go happy lucky attitude is not neccessary fake but its heavily forced. She does this because she doesnt want to dissapoint other people with her bothersome feelings, the position of manager for once is giving her authority and chance to prove others that she is capable of doing something important. Gangle has deep dark depressive feelings inside of her that carry onto her digital form. The cripling feeling of being alone even when people around you and feeling like you really dont matter.

My theory- Trigger warning!

The car crash is an isekai joke but- what if theres truth to it,to some extrend. My theory is that Gangle killed herself in real life. Not neccessary in this way but I think there could be some truth to this. And her "manic" moods can either refer to bipolar disorder or when someone is planning the end of their life they can be in a "manic" overly happy episode.

This is my thought on this. I love Gangle and Im happy we got to see more of her, Im happy Gangle has found a good friend like Zooble who understands her! Seems like these characthers both hide and are discovering their selves and trying to cope with their personality,life. Gangle has a long way to go,so does Zooble in self discovering and most important self acceptance story!

What are your thoughts on this episode?

Let me know!

[fraudulent-cheese]

Actually no, i want to expand on my relative dislike of WT. Because when people talk about this season's faults, i BARELY see people mentionning the complete flattening of like half it's cast!

Oh sure, people are super willing to throw shit at TDA and especially TDAS for it's flanderisation of characters, but outside of some rogue posts by mutuals, i don't see ANY OF YOU pointing the finger at World Tour when i'd argue it's especially eggregious.

Owen's the easiest example of this, and while it didn't start this season it got so much during it. Nearly all of his lines revolve around food, his aerophobia, or Izzy for a single episode. His relationship with Alejandro is also super indicative of this; im willing to accept the HC that he was aware of Alejandro's dislike of him and just wanted to win him over, but that's absolutely not what the writters intended, no way in hell. He's just completely oblivious to his shitty behavior when he seemed at least somewhat aware of Heather's shifty behavior back on Island, or at least able to stand up for himself (shoutouts to that one Action episode). It's not fun to watch, either.

Bridgette too had her personality reduced to one or two traits, for either comedy reasons (because apparently people making out 24/7 is funny) or story reasons (establishing Alejandro as a threat who uses flirting and his general attractiveness to advance his strategy) and it suckssssss because she was! an actual character! and World Tour especially benefits from having a 'straight man' type character that can look at the other's weirdness and react to it like a normal-ish person! That and she could be an interesting presence to have on Team Victory, with her friendships with Leshawna and Courtney for instance.

DJ too is a BIG victim of the flanderisation thing; his personality is dumbed down to just being a huge scaredy cat, and his character is just The Curse. That's all he does and that's all he is, all he talks about. And that sucks because he too, was an actual person in Island and even Action! Sure, he was sometimes a pushover and had an accident-prone bunny, but he was also kind and could actually go out of his way to play pranks on people! But all of that is just gone in WT.

There's also the characters that weren't flanderised, and more just. Written entirely out of character. Outside of the entire Love Triangle (which i will get to) the biggest example of this is Leshawna to me. The writters straight forget the episode in Action where she's entirely dsitrustful of the Pizza they were offered (which did turn out to be tampered with) due to Chef being uncharasterically nice to them. Guess what Alejandro was doing. Being overly nice to her out of nowhere. Frankly she fell victim to the same thing Bridgette did; needing to be sacked for Alejandro's villany to be better established.

Ok fuck i need to mention the Love Triangle too because while people complain about it alot i don't think they complain about the correct stuff. i'll go rapid fire because it's been talked to death however; Gwen's liking of Duncan is a retcon, her acting like this is out of character for her frankly, Duncan's out of character by trying to emotionally manipulate his ex and the lore established to justify it makes it worse (remember the "At least im straight with people" line?), Courtney is villanised from even before this point which while her anger might've been targetted at the wrong person she was justified in being upset imo, Courtney's entire character is thrown out of a window in general this season, blah blah blah.

I'll end on the whole "the writters forgetting entire character traits/arcs" Cody still hitting on Gwen this season makes no goddamn sense and is super uncomfortable to watch. He's really such a nothing character man. Sierra deserved better than being a manic pixie stalker girl.

[preciousmomentsfigurine]

hey, is anyone still here? looks like the last time i was on here was two years ago and change. things are really different now, but i guess then again it would be weird if they were the same

i was thinking of returning to this dead site because for a good fifteen years it was a big part of my life and provided me with a unique way to express my thoughts and ideas and feelings and opinions and musings to an audience of people who can hear me but not truly know me outside of my words that i share on this platform. and on the same coin i enjoy following the lives of people i know nothing about and watching their stories and selves develop and evolve from a complete distance in every sense

i'm five months sober now

i have a hard time pinpointing when exactly i became an alcoholic, but i guess i could say i dealt with it in some degree for about eight years, and progressively, as it always goes

i graduated with my masters last may (2023) in critical media studies where i spent my time writing and researching feminist cultural social and media theory. i produced a great deal of work i was and am very proud of including a thesis that is honestly my life and heart's work but unfortunately over the course of those two years my drinking escalated rapidly and by the end i was manically and drunkenly banging out papers and essays in the dead of night sleepless and naively inspired

somehow i got a 4.0 though despite that. everyone in my life always says i played off my drinking well anyway. beats me how or why

once i graduated i practically immediately began drinking all day every day while somewhat-hardly-kind-of-not-really looking for work which was fruitless and i quickly learned my degree i worked so hard for meant practically nothing to employers who were merely looking for experience i dont have outside of my teaching background in grad school

for almost exactly a year i was drunk 100% of the time i was awake

same old story, at some point i switched to bottom shelf pints of vodka, which constituted my breakfast lunch and dinner. sat on my couch in my filthy apartment occupying my filthy poisoned failing body either watching tv or causing problems somehow

this was when i was twenty-nine. for a while now i had known in my heart of hearts i wasnt someone who would ever be able to handle my liquor or drink like a normal person, whatever that means, and that too much was never enough, and that it was literally impossible to function so long as booze was a part of my life. any attempts to "cut back" or "take breaks", i knew, would end the same way, which was waking up to shots of room temperature vodka and being a prisoner to the worst shame a person can feel

i figured once i turned thirty, which was this march, that would probably be about the time i got sick of my own shit and said goodbye to the bottle. which i undeniably felt a kind of affection toward as if it were a lover. still do in a sense and thats why ill never flirt with it again

my sobriety date is april 16th 2024. my last drink was a shot of vodka at 8:30 am on the 15th after creating massive gashes in my upper arm the previous evening during a blackout fight with my boyfriend

im still unemployed and extremely mentally ill and my bipolar has gotten progressively worse over the past couple of years and will likely continue to according to what the science says and all of that. after my last manic episode last month i adjusted my meds (again) and for now they seem to be working but i don't hold my breath really

i do AA and i like it a lot, i do it my own way, i have a sponsor who approaches the program liberally and progressively and shares many of my comorbidities and has allowed me the freedom to define my relationship to the program and god in a way that works for me and i have made incredible strides through this. i have become a far far far better person.

being sober is easy and i never want to drink. not once not ever

ive never worked so hard on myself in my life because i got as close to death as i ever had and ive been very close at many points in my life for many years. when i was drinking i knew i wouldnt make it to see 35 if i continued as i was

therapy, AA, meds, a whole fucking lot of discipline

ive been with my boyfriend for two years and wed like to get married. thats nothing that will happen anytime soon but it is nice to think about. he has been by my side through unimaginable things that any sane person would not have stuck around for. he is my heart and my soul

im also trying to start applying for jobs again but im genuinely on the fence if i am capable of holding a full time job due to my severe mental illness. im exploring a bunch of options right now as far as that whole thing goes. the future is very uncertain as always

let me know if you see this or remember me or anything.

bye for now

[auxins-insanities]

heeyyyyyy guys

i was doing a writing contest with my friends to make an AvA fic based off of a pre-existing episode. i did the flashback and im actually really proud of this, so without further ado, here it is.

Eye Strain and Hand Pain - The Flashback

TW/CW: swearing, mild blood/gore (i wasn't allowed to do too much), implied cannibalism, implied self-harm

Word count: I don't remember, but somewhere around 2,000

fic below the cut :3

~~~~~

For being a horrible atrocity, the killing spree was pretty fun. The poor civilians' frenzied shrieks, the two siblings' laughs as adrenaline pumped through their veins. Splotches of red covering their clothes, they didn't mind destroying anything they came across.

After all, why would they?

Destruction was all they knew.

Dark took a wheezy breath into his inhaler before tucking back into his stained jacket pocket and flying over to Chosen. He was shouting something incoherent at people running for their lives. 

Dark tapped his shoulder, fidgeting with the broken zipper on his jacket. Chosen spun around, eyes glowing bright crimson. "Un autre ? Ils continuent à venir comme s'ils le voulaient..." (Another one? They keep coming as if they want this...) he said with a manic smile, fading as he realized it was his younger brother.

"Hey, Cho!" Dark said quietly, a smile on his flushed face. "I.. I think we might have to wrap this up.. It's getting dark and my chest hurts a bit." 

Chosen nods, seeming a bit spaced out. 

An offhand comment of "Ever wonder what those fuckers taste like?" and the two siblings found themselves sitting around a campfire. Dark's heavy eyelids eventually closed, his head on Chosen's lap. The latter didn't mind carrying the former home.

~

Dark unclenched his jaw to drink some of his water. It felt good on his dry throat and eased the hunger clawing at his stomach. He hadn't moved from his computer for 14 hours now. 

Originally, the standing desk seemed like a good idea, but Dark's scoliosis has gotten worse over the years and now standing for so long just made his back hurt.

Hence the bottle of ibuprofen beside the computer. He had taken 5 now. 

Staring at the small numbers and letters on his computer screen was giving him a pounding headache that not even the painkillers could help. He ended up having to squint harder than was comfortable to even see much of what he was doing.

But with a final hit of the enter key, Dark was done. He felt like he was going to pass out. A quick glance at a clock told him it was either 10:30 or 1:03. Either way, it didn't matter. He finally finished his project, ending a 2-month hyperfixation. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had eaten or slept, which further explained why everything was aching. He was ready to just curl up on the floor and go to sleep and forget about the world, the animator, the hurt, when Chosen opened his door, even the soft click of the door ringing in Dark's ears. He turned his hearing aids down.

"Dark, I honestly don't care if I have to drag you out of here, you haven't left this room in 14–" Chosen starts, quickly being cut off. "Cho! Cho, I finished! You wanna see? I- I did it! Finally! It'll be just like you.. like we always wanted!"

Chosen chuckled softly. "Alright, alright... Since you say it's 'so incredible.' Just take it down a notch, okay? You're talking really loud." 

Dark rolled his eyes. "Just turn your hearing aids down." He paused. "But- But anygays, I have my thingy to show you!" He darted back to his computer, stimming excitedly. 

"O-okay, okay, so.. So, this is the ViraBot! I've been working on it for, like, 2 months! It can do a ton of- A ton of cool shit! A-and.." Dark's tone was shifting from excited to just plain manic. Chosen placed both hands on his shoulders. "Deep breaths." 

Dark did as he was told and started over with a sigh. "This, my dear brother, is the ViraBot." 

"It looks like a spider, but missing a few legs."

Dark shot Chosen a glare. The latter shrugged.

"But anygays, this thing has a ton of features, like..." Dark typed a couple things on his computer and the ViraBot on the wall suddenly had a bright red spike on the end of its... limb. Dark smiled. "And that's just the start."

He took the spike, its sharp end glinting in the warm sunlight. He forcefully stabbed his globe with the the spike and it immediately dissolved into some bare code, along with its stand. Dark grinned, his coal black eyes shining. "We can destroy the world, Cho. And anyone who would fucking dare hurt us the way that cursor did."

Chosen just stared in horror for a moment, his chest tightening painfully. 

Not another bloodbath.

Not more innocents' screams.

Not more fire and tears and broken bones.

Why would Dark want to go back to that after all this time living normally?

But then again, why wouldn't he?

Pain and death and killing was all he knew.

Dark loaded the ViraBot into its launcher, carefully contained in a red-and-white casing. 

"Dark. We don't have to do this."

Dark's excitement died down for a moment. His smile faltered. "...wh-what?"

He quickly puts his smile back on. "Come on, Cho! It's what we always wanted to do! Obviously we've gotta start with our biggest problem, the..."

"Dark..?"

"...cursor, who can fucking burn in hell. Like, how could he do those things to you? To us? Nobody can just do that..."

"Dark."

"...but I digress, this lil bitch will end up on his computer and fuck him up just as bad as we did! And then I can finally go to sleep. And drink water, it's been a hot minute since I've done that..."

"Dark."

Dark's hand was hovering over the button, either quivering from excitement or just outright shaking from the exhaustion of not sleeping for so long.

"What? Oh, do you wanna press the button? Yeah, that's only fair. After all-"

"Dark, stop."

"But.. What? This is what-"

"Dark, shut up! Have you ever considered that maybe I don't want this? That the whole world doesn't fucking revolve around you and what you want?"

Dark felt the all-too-familiar sting of tears forming in his eyes, but he swallowed and blinked them back. Fine then. Be like that, he thought to himself. I'll just... do it myself..

Shaky hands.

Breath hitching in his throat.

Hand lowers.

Rough hands, firm grip on Dark's shoulders.

"Dark, what did I say? We can't do this!"

Dark wanted to explain to Chosen why they had to, why it would be the best decision ever for them, why he had gotten a total of just 56 hours of sleep in the past two months. But as he prepared the explanation, the words died on his tongue. He couldn't force them out if he tried. 

So he just went for the button again.

This time when he was met with the rough hands, he ended up on 

the cold tile with his nose bleeding, a new crimson stain soaking into the collar of his shirt. He felt his hands heating up and unstifle-able tears welling up in his eyes.

A few seconds later, a wall crumbled.

Just like Chosen and Dark's once perfect relationship.

Soon things devolved into what was pretty much a fistfight, but with a few more broken walls. Everything blurred around Dark as he ran for the button.

His revenge.

His closure.

Only a moment after Dark's palm hit the smooth red plastic, he felt a small explosion and found himself in the air, falling.

"I thought you wanted this."

~

Chosen took a deep, shaky breath as memories of him flooded his mind.

In and out.

Hands ignited.

He got a sort of adrenaline rush from all this, and he hadn't flown in months. It was kind of nice to do it again. Feel the cold wind on this face, see everything from beautiful views.

Maybe once this was all over, he could go fly somewhere. Though, it wouldn't be the the same without Dark...

That's okay, times change. And who knows, maybe he'll-

Impact.

Chosen pulled away from the light blue barrier that the ViraBot had so easily gone through, coughing weakly into his arm.

That's gonna hurt later.

It took a painfully reddened hand to realize that no amount of punching would do anything.

~

Dark felt himself hit the ground with a... Well, he wasn't sure what it sounded like, but it sure as hell could've been the loudest thing he had ever heard. It at least felt that way.

With a soft groan, he rolled over from his back to his side.

"God, I think I broke... everything.." he muttered, taking a few moment to collect his scattered, betrayed, hurt thoughts before picking himself up, pleased with the fact that nothing seemed actually broken at the moment. He quickly looked himself over, wincing as he noticed the sheer state of his body. Through the charred and still warm hole in his shirt, he could see dark, black burns, deep red oozing from melted skin.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit..." Dark stumbled to his old... pitifully small house? Shack? Place...? He was honestly too disoriented to remember what the small structure's original purpose was, and his shaky ankles that, in hindsight, were probably sprained or something, threatened to give out at any moment.

Dark all but collapsed on the floor.

Down on his hands and knees.

Panting.

Saliva dripping from his mouth.

Tears dripping from his eyes.

He dug through the supplies stored under the table and pulled out some disinfectant, a shit ton of bandages, and a spare T-shirt.

He gingerly took off his current, very burnt one and set it aside. It was horrifically bloodstained anyway.

Mentally preparing himself for the burning sensation, he poured some disinfectant straight from the bottle onto the mess of stuff he didn't even want to look at.

Once he figured he had screamed and cried enough, it was onto the bandages.

From experience, bandaging yourself can be difficult, but not impossible after enough practice. Now, if your skin just stopped actively melting, that changes thing a bit, but Dark didn't really have a choice.

So he wrapped the slightly dusty gauze as tightly as he could around his chest and stomach, using a few too many pieces of tape to hold it in place. He then awkwardly pulled on the also dusty shirt and smoothed out some of the wrinkles. For the sake of being able to walk more comfortably, he also wrapped his ankles, which seemed to work wonders when he stood up and they only somewhat ached.

Maybe that was just his fast healing, though. If there was one pro to being created, it was that.

Dark let out a long, pained sigh before standing up on less-than-steady legs and pulling up the ViraBot code on his computer.

He glanced at the three whiteish scar lines on the back of his wrist.

Maybe they could use a fourth one to match.

~

Through strained eyes and sheer willpower, Chosen managed to break through the barrier.

A chilling sense of nostalgia gripped him as he traveled in the empty space leading to the PC.

He wanted it to stop.

His breathing picked up.

Tears stung his eyes for a moment.

If he was being honest, he really didn't want to go back to that place, but-

Another impact.

Okay, fuck what I said earlier, this hurts now.

More eye strain and hand pain got Chosen inside the PC.

The fight with the ViraBot was unpleasant, to say the least. Chosen didn't enjoy the metallic-tasting red in his mouth or the way his vision blurred and doubled after a while if he wasn't focusing on anything. But really, he didn't like that he and Dark's relationship was even more strained than his ruby-red eyes.

As Chosen left the PC, he gave a small nod of acknowledgement to his creator.

As he went back to face Dark, he couldn't help but feel like he was no better.

~~~~~

fun fact: this is my longest oneshot :3

heyyyy uh

the SH warning was there for a reason, but i mustve forgotten to copy-paste two lines, so i went back and fixed it TvT

[carzstarz]

(long talk about eatîng disprders and sh. and only like 4 people are gonna see this so i can say watever i want)

i try not to think about the trainwreck that is my ceramics life. i wasnt perfect at it but i also think that i was really onto something for a while there, like having potential if anything. and i do really like most of the work i made in college, and i do enjoy stuff i made in my last year but half of it is really sloppy but also. but also. in my defense i was going through it. 6 hours away from where id always lived, going on and off different meds, manic episodes that had me working on art for hours and hours without eating or drinking or blinking while shaking from exhaustion (paired with insomnia that left me sleeping maybe 4 hours max) and the energy in me would swell so much at times i couldnt walk to my dorm and had to get my bf to drive me up the hill. throat raw and raspy from harsh breathing from physical induced asthma too. off topic. barely eating as well because of my e/d for the last decade that i still deal with but also tinned fish saved my life for real. off topic. my sculptures were getting big and heavy, and i found a lot of joy in working on these beasts, and they really were beasts too. making sad pathetic brutalized creatures, and treating them delicately, loving them. trying to make something to get my feelings out, of like "i am mentally ill. i am schizophrenic and the paranoia eats me alive. my mom that treated me more like a caged dying animal than a person has just died horribly in front of me just the other day, and i dont know how i feel about that and i probably never will, but all i know is that i dont have a home once this semester is over, and i graduate very soon. so until then i will make art and hope a miracle happens." and of course sharing that you are insane to your class very quickly makes everyone avoid you even more than what your weird personality pushed away, and i felt embarassed for a long time over the fact that hurt me at all. but cant say i didnt expect it, i just have a bad habit of believing people can be good and kind despite never really seeing evidence of that and becoming sad when people treat me lowly. and then suddenly i get an email saying the campus will shut down maybe, and i go "okay i will think on that later, im just gonna enjoy spring break and my birthday with my boyfriend." and then its lockdown. and i am at my boyfriends parents house, who i somewhat lived with due to the whole "my only family member died and the house is gone. can i sleep here?" and his family didnt like me before this and i had left on bad terms but couldnt sleep on my estranged sisters couch any longer either but regardless i was locked down/ in with them and it was bad. barely ate, everyones making remarks about all the weight ive lost like its a good thing, and each time it brought me back to my dying mother staring at me and saying sadly "... youve gained weight." i dont talk about the eatin.g disorder thing much but god its all connected. its very hard to make art especially heavy ceramics when youre malnourished constantly. and your skin is weird on your stomach cause the only belt you have gives you an allergic reaction, and suddenly you have to wear it again since your pants dont stay up and you were finally happy you werent underweight anymore only to lose 40 or 50 pounds in 2 or 3 months. because the people you are staying with get angry when you eat their food so you dont. and you feel like you are 17 starving yourself because the only person you know that keeps you in a cage doesnt allow imperfect food in the house and its easier to skip meals than to get yelled at for going through a box of cereal too quickly. and you feel like a child with no free will but you obey anyways, and become angry at yourself for following orders, when everyone else looks like they are alive and can go outside, but you arent allowed in your own backyard. and so the whole world is scary, and you know everyone is laughing at you for being nonadventerous, scared of everything, no experiences, reluctantly obedient. and suddenly you are almost 30 and that hasnt changed.

but for a very short while i started to live. go across the state for school, you can walk around the city and the campus, talk to people, breathe clean air, you can choose your own food and when you eat and how often, and your clothes are tight but your skin is warm and you have energy, you even go to the gym. still eating improperly but more all the same. youve had some work experience, got to be an assistant for the ceramics department before, loading and unloading kilns, cleaning them, taking off half your clothes to crawl into the hot gas kiln to clean it out and you are sweating and the energy feels good. and i feel alive, like i should have a decade prior. you feel lackluster compared to everyone else, but you are a caged animal that got to stretch for the first time and as far as youre concerned, this is the life you were craving in secret. in secret, since wants and needs are restricted.

but ceramics made me feel alive, made me feel like i had evidence i was alive, made me feel like i was doing something worth while, and so far nothing else has really made me feel that way than the sensation of putting my music on and just doing tedious clay work for hours until a creature was born from it. always struggled with talking and i still do, but especially back then for reasons above and then some. and then the lockdown is here, you finish your last few months online. you move in with people from highschool and that was probably the worst idea, but i didnt care if it was worse i just needed my living situation to be different. fast forward another 2 years or so, and its bad. overwhelming psychosis with no breaks, youre either hallucinating or having such intense delusions you might as well be hallucinating. then a new grief a new mourning, and within moments i realize ive started self harming again, and its a hard habit to kick. been a few years since this but ive been free of it for a few months now i think and i am happy about that.

but how does ceramics play into this? its all about ceramics or the lack of. shortly after that i "became" disabled. which feels inaccurate, since chronic pain had been present since elementary school, but i thought was just a moral failing on my end somehow, or a punishment from god for... being annoying as an autistic 4th grader? but then the pain in my knees didnt stop and got worse and i couldnt walk. my shoulder is still damaged from the time before i got a cane, from pulling myself around. fast forward another 2 years and i find a ceramics studio to go to finally. i cant carry the clay bags. i cant carry my small project around, i can barely stand long enough to wash my tools, and often the one seat where i can put my cane or forearm crutches nearby is already taken. i can barely go since my tailbone was ruined and the pain is overwhelming. i dont make much and i dont last long. my boyfriend helped with most of this, but i know i wont have that assistance if i go somewhere alone. and suddenly you are that caged animal again, and it hurts more this time around since you know there was a time you were free. and then you move back to where you started out since the valley just sucks everything in. and you have some new condition now, and you realize you didnt know what pain really was before this. suddenly i am unable to move, unable to sit upright, bound upstairs in a little blue room usually alone, and music doesnt sound the same on your broken tv. and so you just sit and watch dbz with your boyfriend but youre too delirious from chest pain to process most of it, and state insurance doesnt care about any of this when you get denied a cardiologist. and i did think i was dying and that i was going to die any day now, but the pain was so overwhelming i couldnt speak it. but your boyfriend makes you sardine toast and leaves it near you when he goes to work, since you cant leave this room to feed yourself. like a caged animal. you havent drawn in weeks and then months, a pencil too heavy to hold. but you have sardines and you arent skipping meals after a while, and you can eat before noon without getting sick. and then you are eating 3 meals a day consistantly for the first time in your life. you cant lift a cup to your face yet, but you have a windowsill you can tilt it from at least.

and you realize now the extent of malnourishment in your body thats never eaten properly since you were maybe in kindergarten. and you think, i cant beleive someone kept me in a cage and denied and restricted food and that i didnt know how to change that once she was dead either. and that you feel guilt eating at all, and how hard it is to convince yourself you deserve to eat. but that becomes irrelevant since if you dont eat the sardines, then they will be thrown out, and you have instilled in yourself so deeply that wasting food is the worst thing a person could do. so you eat the sardines and you love eating them. and your body starts changing and it makes you sick since you didnt know that at 28 your boobs could get bigger. they always looked weirdly small but it made binding easier so you dont think too hard that its probably the malnourishment. and then dysphoria becomes so strong, and the weather is so hot you cant wear a sweater to smooth them down, and the new weight of them and the growing pains add to your chest pain in an even more unbelievable way. your only thoughts are pain and dysphoria you had been trying to ignore for almost a decade. you cant lift your arms anymore and so you cant cut your hair either, and that gets longer too. you had been wanting to change your appearance for so long, but not like this. you are becoming someone else but its not on your terms.

and you have so much dragon ball to occupy yourself with at least. but its still all in that little blue room, and you know everyone downstairs cant stand you, but they see you are suffering and barely alive so they are being kind to you, but they dont really want to. and they still are. but i remember how they looked at me before this and the things theyve said. and they dont understand why you dont want them hugging you but you cant really say "i think its fucked up you said how i bring everyone down since im mourning my mother dying just a few months ago, and im homeless and ive lost my pets as well, and all you can say is 'uhg it gets on my nerves that you dont smile but you eat once a day and thats too much, and we dont know how to convince our son to dump you already.' " since you cant really say that and follow with "also thanks for letting me die in your attic this second time around" so you just let them grab and squeeze you anyways or else it hurts their feelings and that makes you a bad person. nevermind how it hurts your ribs to be held.

and then you find a ceramics studio nearby and you think finally, finally i can sculpt again, the thing i was born to do. and you go there and its across the street from your first childhood home, and you are having panic attack after panic attack just like the good ol days. and all you really feel is guilt that you have ptsd, feeling mentally weak for not being able to logic your way out of the shaking. and that was the only ceramic studio nearby too. and after a while i wonder if the panic attacks and flashbacks would be worth it to play with clay. but you cant really walk anyways so it doesnt matter. you havent drawn in months and soon it will be a year since your body and your brain have given up long ago. but i can always start again as someone else.

that all is to say, im hoping to do ceramics again one day.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

hihihi

I saw your post abt walburga black and her relationship with Sirius black and I came RUNNING

I loovee hearing people's opinions on siriuss relationship with either of his parents and your ideas are just 🤌

If you don't mind can you give me some of your headcanons abt the noble and most ancient house of black (not necessarily sirius)

I love you ❤️ hope you have a lovely day week month whatever (sorry if this has weird structure english isnt my primary lang and i dont post asks often/at all)

(Also maybe an odd qn but how the hell do u dm someone on tumblr im acc stressed i wanna yap to so many ppl but i cannntttt 😭😭)

AHH I LOVE YOU I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE BLACKS <33 ALSO IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE !!

btw you can dm someone by going on their profile and clicking the speech-bubble-thing with the plus sign in it ! it's like upper right corner on phone . youve prbly found this out by now but umm just in case !

umum head canons !! walburga centered because yes <3

tw: infertility, miscarriage, abortion (but she gave it to herself...), baby-trapping, underaged (non-con?) sex, (implied) cosca,

she definitely has OCD. i have another post about this but like she's so OCD to me

also, it isn't a walburga post if i dont mention i hc her with bipolar disorder

was basically the one who raised her brothers and when she grew up she wanted to have kids of her own to spite her father and to prove she would be a better parent

i hc her to be in love with someone before orion, like a first-love kind of thing but i can't figure out who. let's call him Dave for now

okay her and dave started dating when they were thirteen and walburga was very set on baby-trapping him

it didn't work because um. dave didn't want to have sex,,, because he was also thirteen...

but like whatever and walburga loved him anyway and they dated a while more

till walburga psycho sexual family issues came into play and her need need need to get married and start a family got so bad she barely stopped thinking about it

this was around when she was 15-16ish

yeah... the ocd and bipolar and her 49738 mental issues were coming into play

so dave and her separated peak manic episode, sixth year

(her choice, obviously)

and she became very interested in the second year, orion black !!!

and um . well orion was like 12 so he didn't have much of a choice but to go along with whatever she wanted

but um. what she wanted was a child but walburga just. could not get pregant

no matter what she did

but they still got married when orion was 17 !

and orion is just dissociating through this btw

and walburga is veryyy angry through this

and orion hates her

but is way too scared of her to actually say something

and then walburga gets pregnant <333

after. like. years.

after her younger brother (who she raised!!!) has had his first child !!

and well. alphard is there too but he's always been weird and wasn't really expected to do anything great so she's not bothered by him

but um !! she's pregnant and it is literally the best day of her life

orion is blending into the curtains btw

he knows the happy periods don't always last very long

which they don't. because walburga gives herself an abortion in a manic episode

and it's just.

it's so much worse for so long

it happens once more before sirius is born

and then once walburga is actually pregnant with sirius no one let's her out of their sight for very long

rip wizards you would've loved meds,

but ummm once sirius is born she litr loves him sosoossoosososoosoososoosossoso much <333

and um she has another son too something named rufus or rudolph or something

she doesn't give him much attention...

umumum okay this is long enough !!!

this is so dark im sorry !!!

[raisin-shell]

Hey. Just wanted to say I love your blog. I’ll keep it short. What’s your take on the guys mental health?

Here we go nonnie. The good the bad and the ugly…

Leo

OCD- he keeps his things neat and tidy…. A little too tidy. He lives his life in complete order. He’s always on schedule and always on time. He has strict rules he’s set for himself and he abides by them.

PTSD- due to how close he is with his dad, seeing him die (or what would have been death from the first movie) really fucked him up. He suffers from nightmares and insomnia even though his father is still very much alive and this would also explain why he mistrusts others. EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT ABOUND.

NARCISSISTIC TENDENCIES- he thinks very highly of himself. Needs to be adored by his father. NEEDS TO BE. Lacks empathy for others and as we’ve seen in OOTS will lie and never even acknowledge it or even apologize.

Raph

BIPOLAR- he builds up walls to keep others out and to keep from being hurt. He goes from being enthusiastic and gung-ho to being uninterested and reclusive. (Manic-depressive). MOOD SWINGS good lord. He obsesses over things like lifting weights or working out. Also hates to shower.

SEXUAL ADDICTION- in my AU, I write Raph with a sexual addiction. Mainly because he’s got a lot of testosterone pumping through those veins but also because of his manic episodes. A lot of bipolar people also struggle with sexual addiction and I believe Raph with all his rage issues definitely needs a way to cool off steam and sex is his go to.

Donnie

ANXIETY- poor Donnie boy is riddled with it. Having to be the brains of every operation is extremely nerve racking and his coffee consumption does not help.

ADHD- he is a people pleaser, a perfectionist and a jack of all trades. As we see when he is attempting to drive the garbage truck for the first time, he has difficulty focusing and concentrating on the task at hand. However we also see how Donnie can handle himself under extreme amounts of pressure. “It’s all you Donnie… no pressure no pressure.” As we see when he’s locating the beacon on Krang’s ship.

Mikey

ADHD the other side of the spectrum- he’s unable to sit still in calm or quiet surroundings. Constantly fidgeting. Unable to concentrate on tasks as we’ve seen in the plane scene in Brazil. Excessive physical movement. Excessive talking. Unable to wait his turn while talking. He has little to no sense of danger at all, constantly cracking jokes at the most inappropriate of times.

Im sure there’s more that can be added to these so you guys feel free to open a discussion! Special thanks to @rebel-hamato and @turtle-babe83 for helping me out with research! Love you guys to the moon and back!

[know-it-all-and-all]

Cathin First Day.

Caine “and remember to all be… oh” Caine sees a new member behind the others.

??? “this can't be true… it can be” the girl began to say in a low voice

Ragatha “oh… pomni do you think she is going to be ok?” whispering

Pomni “I don't know…”

Zooble see that Ragatha didn't do the usual thing of trying to calm…

??? “I HAVE BEEN ISEKAIDED WOHOO!!!” The girl began to jump and laugh like she just won the lottery “NO MORE JOB FOR ME! IM FREE IM A PROTAGONIST OF MY OWN ISEKAI!”

Jax “cool another freak” gets punched by Tether “softly”

Tether “don't call my mom Freak” Jax and Tether began to yell and insult the other in the background.

Gangle knows the term so is Coiom so the two of them reach the girl.

Gangle “Hi, first of all you are taking this pretty well, And secondly is not really isakai, is more like trapped in a digital space”

??? “HO! LIKE LOG HORIZON OR SAO?”

Coiom “log horizon… kinda, our brains are in danger though, with all the abstra-'' Gangle shut him off before he finishes because Harley was getting in the room.

Harley “hi~ good morning to you all~ … oh is that a cat lady? Cool she looks like uncle Jax” Jax and Tether stop fighting when the girl arrives.

Jax “she doesn't look like me!”

Harley “yes she does, look she has two ears a long neck and a Cheshire cat like grin”

Jax “she doesn't have… to close” the girl was almost touching Jax for how close she was, he can see her green almost scary big cat eyes behind her hair.

??? “So are you the main love interest of this anime? You look like…” she was interrupted by Caine.

Caine “as much as I want you to keep going with this “love at first sight" moment, darling I need to give you the tour of the circus” he grabs her and disappears out of thin air. Everyone was looking at Jax like he just spawned a second head, minus Harley she was smiling happily “maybe I have another auntie now” she was thinking, and everyone can read that of her expression.

Jax “stop smiling like that!”

Harley “But Uncle Jax, this is amazing, you will have a girlfriend finally!"

Jax “she is not going to be…

”Tether “yes Harley she has the decision to choose widely too”

Jax looks at Tether with an angry face.

Jax “what are you implying with that Lego [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%]”

Tether “oh nothing, just the Truth, a good looking girl like that would never fall for the likes of you” the both began to see each other with an angry glare, but Harley stopped them.

Harley “stop! Tete everyone deserves love! And uncle Jax be a little open about this perhaps this can help you with the thing you say to me abo-” Jax put a hand on the mouth of the little girl.

Jax “they don't need to know that ginger plushie” Caine gets back with an even more happy cat girl.

??? “This is amazing, I love this place already, cameras everywhere and daily episodes? Cool!” She does a little dance.

Caine “happy to have such a positive attitude darling, now do you want a name?”

??? “WAIT! I CAN'T REMEMBER MY NAME!” everyone expect this would freak her out “COOL IS LIKE I JUST REBORN HERE!” Every member facepalm, less the children.

Caine “yes and your new name can be anything, *proceed to tell the terms of service*” What are you thinking?*

??? “Umm… well I'm a Cat now… and I always like Catherine as a name… so Cathin? How does that sound?*

Harley “that sounds lovely”

Cathin “aw thanks you little one, nice to meet you all I'm Cathin the cat, hehehe it sounds so cute” Everyone was so stunned to say absolutely anything.

Caine “oh right, almost forgotten, the adventure of today, well Cathin is here now, so I would explain the adventure again ”Zooble groans in the background, Coiom leaves the room in the direction of the call center with Tether and Harley, Ragatha decides to stick for the adventure today.

Caine “the adventure of today is… “Hunt the Wakaljak” *began to manically laughing* the digital forest is now the new territory of the wild and big Wakaljak and you all have to find it before the night when he would be more dangerous”

Bubble “and how will they fight him?”

Caine “well that's easier to answer them…”

Bubble “and what is the…” he popped after Caine touched him.

Caine “you all have weaponry for this adventure, a comically large swords and bows and Kinger will have his shotgun”

Pomni “I don't think he should have that back Caine…”

Caine “shut up! And remember to all of you be together, the Wakaljak like to hunt lone or par members, now have fun my little Superstars” he disappeared again.

Cathin run to pick a big sword, her smile was big and amazed “this is like a monster hunter quest, I feel like being in a Raid in a MMORPG!” Jax picks a bow next to her, and she rests her head on his shoulder “and we can kill it together cutie” Jax takes a step back.

Jax “no so fast kitty, I'm not interested in whatever you are looking for”

Cathin “aww playing hard to get, cool I like the chase”

Jax “get the [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%] away from me”

Cathin “oh wait… [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%], [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%]” she began to laugh “what is this? 4kids censorship? Ahahhaha”

The members are now outside in the digital forest.

Pomni “this remember me the time we do a rpg episode, it was fun"

Ragatha “yeah… we all coordinate pretty well back there, curious that Coiom left”

Gangle “He and Storky are teaching Martin little things”

Zooble “Tether talk a lot of how clumsy he is, I still didn't see him, how he is like?”

Ragatha “he is a cute little bean, he sure is confused sometimes, but he means well”

Cathin is seeing all that interaction with interest “so this is a Yuri anime as well… nice less competition for you” she gets closer to Jax.

Jax “move! I'm not your boyfriend!”

Cathin “aw you break my little heart”

Jax ”good, now [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%] off”

Cathin “meany, but I still love you~♡♡”

Jax frown “you don't know me, you just came here! What are you, a child?!”

Cathin “nope I'm legal teehee~” Jax start walking faster, but Cathin easily emulates his rhythm, but he gets faster, so she does the same, before they can hear the rest of the members yelling at them they are running deep inside the digital forest.

Some minutes later the both of them stopped breathing heavily.

Jax “just leave me alone”

Cathin “can't do that hon, a heroin need alone time with the love interest” He realizes that they are alone in the digital forest, doing the exact opposite of what Caine told them not to do, and he is already too exhausted to keep running.

Jax “oh… [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%]” a big shadow cover the both of them and Jax nervous look up, a corn like monster is looking at them with sharp fangs, jax began to freak out.

Cathin “woah… I was hoping for something much worse than that, ok sexy let's kill… hot stuff?” Jax is below a tree fallen trunk trembling “really?”

Pomni “Jax! Cathin! Darn it, they run so far"

Zooble “why are we preoccupied for them again?”

Gangle “is her first day Zobs… even if she is taking it well, maybe is a coping mechanism” Ragatha looks nervous but Pomni gently takes her hand, and Ragatha relaxes slowly.

Kinger is in the front pointing his shotgun at anything that call his attention, the other four trough “give him a shotgun is a really bad idea”

Jax “get out of my hiding spot!” Jax is still below the tree's fallen trunk, Cathin is next to him because she doesn't want to fight that thing alone.

Cathin “if you came out and help me kill that thing maybe~♡♡”

Jax “NO! [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%] Caine and his stupid made out names for his adventure’s monsters, he knows! He [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%] do this on purpose.

Cathin “So you are scared of a big corn monster?”

Jax “I'm not scared!” Cathin closes her distance and touches Jax's shoulder with hers

.Cathin locks eyes with Jax “well… Some say that love can be born from a dangerous situation” Jax heart skips a beat “and we are alone in a forest being hunted by your worst nightmare… at least you have me with you” her voice was slow and subjective, she put her hand on top of his “just the two of us” she said resting her head on his shoulder “isn't this romantic?”

Jax has a lump in his throat, his heart rate began to run a marathon, he is scared of how she manipulated his feelings so we'll, this girl is dangerous, more dangerous than the corn monster outside, “god help me” he trough.

Kiaaa appears a second “nope” she disappears.

Kinger is following the trail, he for some reason remembers something similar, the humidity in the ambient, the smell of gunpowder of his shotgun, the sound of the wind moving the leaves, and the comfy chat between friends, he is focused, he sees the trail of his prize.

Gangle “kinger is acting a little odd today”

Zooble “babe he is always odd”

Pomni “no I noticed too, he is not trembling, he seems focus”

Ragatha “thank god I was not the only one noticed, I thought I was…”

Gunfire makes the four of them jump, and the next thing they see is Kinger with the Wakaljak defeated next to a “smiling” Kinger in a hunter pose.

Kinger “take the photo darling I kill a big one… darling…?” He seems lost again, almost like searching for something or someone, Zooble tiredly sighs.

Zooble “hey I take the photo”

Kinger “oh thanks sports!”

Cathin see the rest of the members and taking the hand of Jax and take him out of his hideout “ok sweetie the danger is dead” he almost fall but she grab him before he does, now they are face to face almost kissing, but Caine appears.

Caine “well done everyone the adventure is over! You won!”

The next thing Jax knows is that he is on the floor and Cathin is walking next to Caine.

Cathin “nice episode ringmaster, I hope for the one tomorrow.

Jax “h-hey…”

Cathin “huh… what? The episode is over, I don't need to keep acting, what do you believe? Hahahaha pathetic, you are just an attempt of Tumblr sexy man, maybe you are the love interest of my character in the adventures, but don't get near me freak” and leaving a stun Jax she leaves in her way to the tent, the others are looking amazed at the whole scene.

Jax “WHAT THE F….

TBC.

I hope you enjoy this as I was writing it.

[paras1t1c-squ1dd]

RAAAAAGGHHHH NEW WIZ REF 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

He has a LOT of lore to him 🙏🙏 I will probably edit the post later to add more but yeag ↓↓↓ (TW: emetophobia mention.)

If it wasn't obvious, Wiz is Noise's brother. He's about a year younger than Noise.

Yes, his real name is Wilfred. His ENTIRE name is Wilfred Harlan Noise.

Think of His and Noise's relationship like Stanford and Grunkle Stan. It's basically that. (Wiz being Stanford and Noise being Grunkle Stan) It seems like they hate each other but deep down they really care about the other.

Even though he seems like a mean, scary wizard when you first meet him.... But he's really just a sad and pathetic guy. A boyfail even /hj

Bro is stinkin' rich, he has his own mansion n all that. He's also pretty famous for his magic shows as well, but he's not recognized often when not in costume.

He's always grinning or showing his sharp teeth because he doesn't like showing his buck tooth.

One if not both of his eyes are constantly red. Either his eyes are fucked up (which is why he has glasses but refuses to wear them) or it's just... Like that. But they glow green whenever he uses magic.

He also secretly likes crocheting small animal plushies. No one knows about it.

Alright, now for some lore.

He gained his magic from being possessed. How he got possessed is he found a cursed book (on accident), opened it, and made a deal with the spirit that came out of it. It possessed him and gave him magic. Though, there are many downsides. His magic relies on his energy, the less energy he has, the less powerful his magic is. If he runs out of energy, he passes out. Using too much of his magic can cause him to either pass out as well, cough up/puke green sludge that looks like toxic waste (Green and glowing), Or both. Other symptoms can include: Increased outbursts of rage, permanently nauseous when not practicing magic, and manic episodes. Yeah, he's not doing too well. The only way he could be freed of the spirit is if he died. The spirit can in fact show itself, but it could only come out of Wiz's mouth, not fully freed. Or it could also appear in his mind when he's either sleeping or passed out.

He was known as the "gifted" kid during his childhood, which caused him a crippling fear of failure.

The cursed book he found is a spell book, he still has it and has it really organized. (Ex: by alphabet, how powerful or deadly the spells are, as well as having a bunch of notes on the sides. He's a fucking nerd)

He doesn't like being attached to people, he's always afraid he might hurt them or disturb them because of his possession. He's also touch averse and touch starved.

Him and Noise used to be close when they were children. But then drifted apart as they aged, which causes them to fight a lot and get on each other's nerves.

Tldr: He's a loser and he's suffering /j (please actually read it im begging /hj)

[borderline-culture-is]

not a culture ask but looking for resources one- im a borderline and im trying to look into bipolar disorder, specifically the differences when it comes to mood and manic/depressive episodes

you see, I don't know much exactly of what bipolar disorder looks like (i dont trust pop culture's depictions too much), and what the true difference is when it comes to splitting in bpd compared to episodes in bd. I understand they're separate things, but don't fully understand how they are separate

I knew I saw a blog dedicated to those with both bd and bpd, but can't find it. I just want to know because even though I'm more inclined to just chalk everything up as "just bpd," it would be nice to understand more so it's within my consideration. the episodes I have I raise my brow at sometimes

If you don't have anything on bd vs bpd relating to the differences between splitting and episodes in bipolar disorder, then that's fine ^^ I just didn't know where to find anything so I figured I start somewhere

From what we know, bpd splits/episodes are

Shorter, usually a few days at most (with emptiness in between them

Usually shaped by conflict with ur relationships

More caused by trauma than genetics (brain chemistry can contribute though)

And bipolar episodes are

Longer, lasting from days to weeks on end

Mood between episodes are stable rather than empty

The effects can be a little more physiological from what I've read (ie; the lack of sleep, psychomotor agitation, pressured speech) or at least i think they're somewhat physiological?

Also, BPD splitting is moreso focused on one person or one group of people, while BP episodes are more general and are not focused on a person/group of people. Technically BPD splits could be considered BP episodes, but not all BP episodes are BPD splits.

We're not a professional, and i suggest taking this w 5 pounds of salt.