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moonkhao · 3 months ago

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hi.

#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone #but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3 #it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere #like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july #which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault #i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY #anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like #flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation #i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D #and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen #it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold #(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all #like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love #ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place #anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls #and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE #he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual #i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now #i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3 #AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks #@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3

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faaun · 7 months ago

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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

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opikiquu · 7 months ago

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im going to be so annoying all week

#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH #★ arin rambles #BRO BRO PLEASLE #PELASE #my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will #get #actually no just Unfollow entirely #ITS THE ADHD #PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH #I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE #HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER #aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy #actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life #i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now #‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him #im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak #Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool #Hes so pretty im so happy #I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP #I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor #its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am #DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM #i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma #this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony #i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.

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cherriesandcharms · 8 days ago

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..

#okay so my dad worked in furniture repair and used to come home with random furniture all the time #and i got a set of chairs that i think look rly cool and are comfy #and im looking for a new couch and decided to google the brand to see if i could find something that matches #like. ive never bothered to look into them before bc i just thought they were some modern made retro look ex floor stock #turns out i probably wont ever be able to find the matching two seater bc #WHAT DO U MEAN THEYRE ORIGINAL 70s CHAIRS #dad what were you DOING #so unless i start trawling auctions and vintage resellers its unlikely ill find pieces in the same colour #and the manufacturer doesnt exist any more #so no hope of new model releases either

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wulfhalls · 8 months ago

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#over three weeks now since hes gone #sometimes ill hear a noise and think. ah well there he is. ofc hed be back he wouldnt just leave me like that #like a specific way the wood would creek when hed jump up to his favourite sleeping place. the way his paws sounded against the glass door #the floor when he made his lil tap tap tap walk across the hall.#still haven't put away his boxies or his lil things or his bowls.#i still talk to him like hes lying just out of eyesight in his favourite boxie #we always did my puzzles together (i did the puzzle and he ruined it) and we just started one a few days before he. well.#i miss him all the time everywhere #cant stop crying. but like the curling up on the floor weeping type.#its like missing a limb or part of ur soul lol #collecting his fur like its treasure but then the realisation comes that thats it. thats all ill ever have of him now.#for the rest of my life. just this #and then we're back on the floor weeping lol #but i bought a locket to put some of it in so hes always with me still.#anyway. SUICIDE #bb boy #txt.me #u know the spiel. lets not talk about it i just needed to type it out #bb baby

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spaghett-onaplate · 2 months ago

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Oh I IMMENSELY fucked up this morning now I'm gonna be almost an hour late to work 😭

#i found out like 10pm last night the car rego expired so id have to make my own way #shift starts at 8. takes about an hour to get there. i checked transport times #tired brain somehow fucks up and ig sets 8 as the 'leave at' instead of 'arrive at' time #i think ok awesome i will take this bus at 8:06 that will get me there 8:47 a whole 13 min early....m #i guess i was also mixed up bc i take that bus in the morning to school at a bit after 8 #first thing this morning i got up and got pancake batter and half asleep and glasses-less i dropped an egg on the floor #but anyway i left with my tea and my pancakes and my wits intact....#until i looked down at 7:58 and thought WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I START IN TWO MINUTES WHAT #so i ran. slowed. called my store. thankfully the manager on is really nice but idk if i clearly communicated the scope of my lateness #i just said id be 'pretty late' and he said its alright buddy take your time #god im glad i got him hes a really nice manager very chill #but AHHH MY GOD HOW DID I MESS UP TIMES THIS BAD #I LEFT AT 7:56 INSTEAD OF BEFORE 7!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!#anyway my bus got me to the station now im waiting for my train. it should be fine-ish but manbhhdhdhehfhf my god #idk if ill work 50min less or stay back an extra 50 #but avdhdvhehfhfdbhdhd DUDE IM SO PISSED AT MYSELF

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arsenic-katnep · 8 months ago

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i apologize to anyone who knew me during 2021

#nothing bad's happening but #anytime i remember something that was before 2022 i start to collapse onto the floor with my hands on my head screaming in agony #i was pretty cringe. maybe im still going.. its just not on the level i was back then #but then again i did help deliver some katnep crumbs for those out there to devour. but it wasnt anything good like how id think it be #i would have made this my 3 year aniversary post but i am 2 months late #so... thanks for sticking around. maybe ill try creating more stuff #just less homestuck centric things. because its not really a main interest #but it is kind of like a ghost where it will haunt you from time to time #kind of a wordful in the tags if you ask me #but periodically i should speak a word once in a while so people know im still alive

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caluski · 1 year ago

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oh my god! sorry ive been talking about this for a month straight now, but i cannot believe its my last day of work tonight. 4 years! crazy stuff. im excited about so much more free time, about all the free NIGHTS especially, about coffee during DAYTIME???, and stressed out about the whole registering as unemployed and the job search and all the cv sending and job interviews... and of course upset about the no income thing, most importantly. but i do feel hopeful. hopeful and excited. so excited in fact that i have NO idea what to do tomorrow

#i think i need to update my cv to state that im no longer employed... but i dont know if ill be doing any job searching itself yet.#i think im gonna get the cheapest white wine and make spritzers and draw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or maybe the spritzers + cleaning around the entire floor to make it feel like a fresh start that it is #and then draw on sunday #i dont know. i still have a commission left to finish so im glad ill be getting some free time #pogaduchy

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wabblebees · 10 months ago

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#have been attempting to make a self-tape for this audition for DAYS #after a whole helluva lotta bullshit having to do with hunting down a time+space+camera to film with i Finally managed to get some takes #then some weird bullshit with the camera's sd card happened where i wasnt able to pull the files off onto my laptop #FINALLY able to copy the files to my laptop. FINALLY able to access playback (the video camera i borrowed wouldnt let me access its gallery #FINALLY watching them... they all kinda suck so far but thats Fine at least i Have Them yk #get to take 7 and its actually not nearly as terrible as the previous 6!! feelin pretty good abt this one!! dont get hopes too high ofc but #i mean hey this ones acceptable if the last few arent any good either & just in case i cant go thru with my plans for tmrw to do a reshoot #so yk i start to rename the file so i can tell which clip it is!#Whole Laptop Crashes #WAHOO #typed this up to avoid freakin out while carefully rebooting her. bbg dont do this to me #luckily i already saved multiple contingency copies just in case (bc ive already had so many issues i was feelin Extra Cautious)#so i at least dont have to worry about dealing with the sd card bullshit Again. ugh #EDITING TO SAY: SHE LIVES!! laptop is fine after powering back up & files are unscathed!! was able to retitle & keep on truckin no problem #god i hate dealing with video as a medium #*this* is why im a stage performer not a screen actor lmao #fuck this shit. juust gimme a floor and an audience and ill make it worrk #cameras are fickle creatures on-par with printer machines #im rly excitednervous abt this audition tho; only submitted my resume+headshot on a whim & didnt rly think anything would come of it #but they contacted me and asked for a tape!! so im like !!!!! okayy sure id love to send that !!! i just have to face The Horrors first #if i dont get it then thats not the end of the world or anyth; but itd be SO FUCKING COOL if my v first submission landed me my first gig!!#so uhh. pls put out a good thought to the universe for my self-tape landing me the chance to perform in this queer play festival !!#bee speaks #🤞🤞🤞

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thedeadthree · 2 years ago

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— HOW DOES YOUR OC CRY?

TAGGED BY the loveliest @echo3-1 to take this uquiz for a few dears! ty ty so much macy! <3

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @kingsroad, @risingsh0t, @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @unholymilf, @marivenah, @leviiackrman, @denerims, @jendoe, @phillipsgraves, @morvaris, @noonfaerie, @malefiicarum, @50sjello, @jackiesarch, @aartyom, @jacobseed, @shellibisshe, @leondaltons, @blissfulalchemist, @florbelles, @pearlcscent, @shadowglens, @adelaidedrubman, @roofgeese, @veisshaupt, @loriane-elmuerto, @aceghosts, @swordcoasts and YOU! <3

SILENT

a lot has happened to you. its demoralizing, i know. you cry with your head leaning against the wall, tears streaking your face. your lip quivers but your mouth stays firmly closed. you keep your problems to yourself to not bother anyone.

FRUSTRATED

so many big things have happened that a little one sets you off. your angry and that anger turns to hot tears. you scream in frustration and try to verbally or physically release all of the anger by yelling/throwing things. eventually you fall into a pile on the floor full of brokenness.

SOB

you are a sob. youve been through so much and the pain has finally caught up to you. you make soft broken noises as you cry. your life has been hard and everythings piled up on you, and in this moment it becomes too much. you sob for a few minutes before the tears stop and you just lay in pain. one of the worst cries.

HAPPY

a lot may have happened to you, but in this moment it doesnt matter. everything will fall into place as God [the seven] intends it to. you know you will be okay, because whatever caused this cry is how it needs to be. the future is bright and so is your renewed sense of hope.

#only if you want to! 🤍🕊#oc: iovanna dayne #oc: una nathaira uller #oc: maekar targaryen #oc: alva amaranthine #if anyone needs me ill be on the floor crying hehe <3 #IF UNA STARTS CRYING YOU START RUNNING BESTIEE anyway hers has me on the FLOOR #BABY GIRL U HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE MOST ITS TIME U DID MY LOVEE #and also start running since either u'll be the cannibals next lunch ORR aeggy'll have ur head bestie <3 dear boy u are down bad!#(and in his defense he is so right to <3 she deserves that bestie!)#VANNA AND SILENT? ARE YOU KIDDING? she has had to bear the weight of her own pain for so long and it is almost of habit ->#in that she is so vehement about not wishing to confide in others? ask daemy its like pulling teeth jhjdsnjk #but jokes on her bc the way she confides in him is without words? like he's gotten so good at reading her he just.. knows <3 #blah blah twin flame lovers red string of fate etc etc <3 #OO INCH RESTING maeky and frustrated..? WELL NOW CARO I GOTTA KNOW AERY'S #urlyx his hand would have his HEAD if they knew he was throwing things so he would NEVER kjnsakn but the rest? ACCURATE #its the maegy blood ksakj its him letting his emotions bottle up over time and him at the most inopportune of times at one tiny instance ->#she passed in knowing her son and grandson wouldnt bear the sins of maegy and their names were regarded in reverence from then on <3 #IT JUST OVERWHELMS HIM u know? not me thinking of his reaction to cessairs passing after the dance? it’s equal parts frustration and grief?#its pacing its shouting at walls its goin on the back of zahkriisos to far off reaches while yelling dracarys into the heavens u know?#ALVA BABY YOU DESERVE GOOOD THINGS YOU LIGHT IN THE WORLD YOUU <3 #her single remnant of the love of her life and her best friend r*haenys that and her altruism is what means the world to her!#and with that as the days are easier or harder than most for that she knows the seven haven't abandoned Westeros yet <3 AN ANGELL #leg.ocs #leg.txt #leg.tagged #MACYY THIS WAS SO CUTE TY TY DEAR FOR THE TAG <3 #huzzah to moi as i actually post and it’s not ten at night 💞😌

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gremistired · 1 year ago

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Come one come all its time for Grem’s tism talks

Anyways so yeah no art in this post (cus let’s be real here I haven’t been drawing much other than a certain new oc you’ll see soon-) BUT

I finally got to watching captain laserhawk! :D and let me tell you..

I love captain laserhawk.

ITS SO GOOD IM ASINADJAHDHAHDNWSH RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

I LOVE BULLFROG!!!!!! SO SILLY!!!!!!!!! Like I loiked em before (cus a certain someone keeps posting in a discord server we are in about laserhawk, specifically Ramon and bullfrog and rayfrog, you know who you are.) but RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THE SILLY GOOFY HE DID NOTHING WRONG WHAT MURDAAAAA-

But yeah! I’m just here really to talk about how I enjoyed the show! It was so fucking good I don’t know why I procrastinated so hard on actually watching the show, I mean I wanted to watch party it but I just didn’t know when to plan it and since I’ve had so much free time recently (to the point it’s rotting my brain HELP ME I NEED TO BE FREEEE-) I just sat down and watched it and GOD IM GONNA

Anyways! I really like laserhawk I loike dolph (silly gay man traumatized pretty boy) I loike Ramon (silly lil guy he didn’t do anything wrong look at him go! :D) I loike bullfrog (THE SILLLYYYYYY!!!!!! THE GUY!!!!!! THE GOOFY!!!!!!) I loike em all I hold these three fucks gently and purposefully place Ramon next to bullfrog because I personally think rayfrog should be canon but thats just me I mean look at them they deserve to be together I think Ramon and bullfrog should kiss and hold hands and go on a romantic moonlit dinner and kiss and hold hands

But yeah! All n all I enjoy gay people in a cyberpunk(ish) dystopian hellhole of a world n I love bullfrog and laserhawk and Ramon and If anything fucking happens to bullfrog or ANY OF THEM.. ANY OF THE-

#anyways rambles over #it’s tags time baybe!#just talking #just vibing #I like laserhawk #I love bullfrog #I love Ramon #I think bullfrog and Ramon should kiss #I loike rayfrog :3 #ik for a fact rayfrog is gonna make me ILL #ILL I TELL YOU-#ik it probably won’t happen but I hope everyone gets a happy ending #especially bullfrog and Ramon #laserhawk too #like immmm gonna start sobbing if ANY of these fucks dies in season 2 #I will punch the floor I stg-

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bunnyb34r · 1 year ago

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Whyyy am I having vertigo again?? It's such a fucking pain in my ass

#i think the last time i had it was before I started working #and it lasted like over a week #i had an episode when driving home once from the mall and i called my mom crying in a dunkin parking lot #i finally was able to get myself under enough control to cautiously drive home (thank god it was like night so no one on the road)#and i was like 40 min from home 😭 i remember coming home and just collapsing on the kitchen floor in tears #then like 6mo later i happened to mention it offhand at my immunologists and the guy was like hmm sounds like #abdominal migraines. here's a medicine bye. and it really really helps lmao but like come onnn why now #thankfully im off tomorrow so i can just sleep but fuck man the bathroom door was SPINNING when i got up 😭😭😭#marquilla #ill be fine im sure im just annoyed really more than anything sgdgdggd like i wanted to work on cat toys and my body said NOPE!#so im just scrolling social media sggdgdg bc if i move my head ill die

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vitamin-zeeth · 1 year ago

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Being ill is so trippy I just enter a completely different wavelength and get so insanely fixated on an intensely specific as fuck thing and then the second I'm not ill it's all gone and I can do other things again

#i literally dont get ill often at all #but like when i do its fucking trouble #last time i had covid i got stuck to fantasy high and then that managed to kick off my d20 obsession #last time i was ill non covid i watched falsettos fully for th first time and well. yeah.#time before that i watched bright young things 3 times in a day and then more the next #pulled myself out of it when i realised there was 0 external content by watvhing good omens for the first time #i think the first time i got covid i watched that 5 hour long dr who video essay and forgot i existed #and then started rewatching it the next day once I'd regained my sense of reality #yeah anyway so im actively forcing myself jot to watch the mighty bois for the first time while im like this #i cant fuckinh handle that its a two decade old show that barely anyone ever talks about that is exactly my kind of media #i will fall so far in and i cant do that rn #i feel like im at an indoor soft play and im desperately clinging to the ridge of one of those really steep slides trying not to fall down #wet floor sign #illposting

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narutomaki · 1 year ago

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my analog horror would be called the bozo chronicles because every time I think wow I should try and get into some well written and conceptualized horror they seem to be having so much fun and then I make it half way through a review actually watching it and have to do guided meditation and breathing excersizes to feel safe opening my eyes again

#I WANT TO LIKE IT BUT I AM.#SO SCAWED.#but mav how can you be scared of x its so outlandish/obviously real #i had a persistent problem for multiple years where i was convinced if i thought about the number 3 too hard 3 evil sisters from mythology #would materialize one by one in my room and slowly kill me by sucking out my life force #i was convinced this was true. if i happened to have 3 of something i would go out of my way to destroy one or buy another one.#look at me. look at me. i believed this even when i KNEW i was being insane and irrational and knowing it would not happen #did not scare me ANY LESS. OKAY. LOOK AT ME. I THOUGHT AS A CHILD THAT A SMALL WHITE ALIEN IN THE SHAPE OF AN OWL WOULD COME AND ???#I DONT KNOW? STAND OVER ME MENACINGLY? BUT THE THOUGHT OF IT SCARED ME SO MUCH I WOULD CRY IF I SAW A WHITE T SHIRT ON THE FLOOR AT NIGHT #NOTHING RATIONAL UP THERE!!!!!!!!! THINKING AND SEEING THE WORD USED BY WHITE PEOPLENTO MEAN DEER MONSTER THAT ISNT THAT BUT #THEYRE RACIST ABOUT IT WHEN ASK3D NOT TO? I STILL GET FULL BODY CHILLS AND FEAR SWEATS. IF I THINK TOO HARD AHOUT IT.#any way as i was saying i am a level of weenie about horror that is unbelievable and funny to a degree because ill day all this and then go #jack it to guro. .... sorry you know thay abt me now.#anf then other times seeing unrealistic cartoony violence upsets me so deeply i start crying in sympathetic pain. it doesnt make SENSE

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orcelito · 2 years ago

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Calmed down from the panicking but i 100% found blood in tally's poop and so I'm gonna have to take her to the vet asap lol

She's acting completely normal rn at least. That's the one assurance I have rn.

#speculation nation #animal illness/#animal death/#tagging it bc tags talk lol #really absolutely do have trauma about my cat sammy lmao #ive suspected it b4. considering how ive reacted to certain things.#but ya kno. finding blood poop is stressful no matter what #but that stomach deep Dread. the memory of the last time i found my cat's blood on the floor.#he was. very very clearly not fine at the time. yowling in pain. etc.#tally's just chilling. she doesnt even seem to be bothered by anything.#so like. hopefully it's nothing serious. but either way it needs addressed.#and im just like. i really did not need this in my life rn actually lmfaooo #negative/#god i dont even know if i can take her tomorrow. the vet's office isnt open rn.#i dont think i need to take her to the emergency vet hospital. i took sammy there bc it was like 1 am when his stuff started haha #shes. acting fine. it should be okay. for her to not go in immediately.#just. gotta try to get her in as soon as possible...

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nomairuins · 1 hour ago

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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww #i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces #but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this #video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one #supposes the point of all of this but idk #its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no #anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when #the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein #like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale #i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to #me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to #refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i #was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing #game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking #regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have #shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i #come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking #to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond #which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the #i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed #with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this #and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have #like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i #dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti #off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh

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