#i think ill just stick to frying them

[permanentbottombunk]

I tried to make soft boiled eggs (I have only ever hard boiled them to make into deviled eggs)

I failed so very catastrophically

I touched the small piece of raw egg white, got the biggest ick, and now I'm eating a granola bar on my bed while trying not to cry(warm raw egg touched my eczema and that was when i decided i was done for the day)

[shiocreator]

bored so posting about my oc x canons because I yearn to yell. @soratsuart cuz ik you like them nabdjsnsn

Beware the text block under the read more

scarlette x idia is so funny to me cuz they're the same kind of person. Scarlette even tried her best to be a shut in during this period of her life before in the twst auing gets isekaied, (only thing keeping her going outside a lot was her mom dragging her around outta the house) and in regular stuff when she's an adult she actively needs a character arc of not being a shut in workaholic type.

Anxious, anti-social, definitely traumatized in their own ways... fun!

I think there's something neat about how scarlette would have gone down a more idia like path in twst if it wasn't for grim and the adeuce duo typically dragging her out, she's not a social butterfly by any means at ALL but she's learned how to get by and force herself to just Talk even if she hates it and is getting drained constantly and frequently scared

Idia probably clicked her as the "shy quiet girl whos nice" or smthn character archetype thing, (her first appearance and just glancing at her as an outsider perspective showcasing an accidental guise akin to that especially during books prologue-2 most definitely), before getting blasted with her full personality having far more depth in it, including being downright Scary and deranged. Maybe even thinking she's abit extroverted cuz she's always talking to people so surely! ...no she hates it and is outright jealous of his set up and says it out loud when told about him being a shut in who sends his tablet to classes whenever plausible

No one really expected her to say that his set up "sounds so good to have...." and when asking her why she thinks it sounds good, "so I can stay away from people easier"

SO LIKE. suffice to say the utter moment they've befriended each other she's just. Around a LOT. She hides there often as she can, probably deems it a safe space. She listens to idia genuinely with interest cuz she likes seeing and hearing him excited about a thing and would get him candy and stuff in return

I had an idea for a sort of card vignette for her, and it basically boiled down to several people tryna make her do things for them (Azul tryna get her on shift, Sam popping up to try and also get her on shift, Crowley doing Crowley things, Ace tryna get her to save him from Riddle etc etc stuff like that), and getting so overwhelmed actively freaking out in a breakdown running away to Ignihyde, and asking Idia if she can stay for awhile and hide, cuz she just wants things to be normal and people would find her at Ramshackle, trusting idia to not try and hurt her, and worried about her let's her stick around and helps things just be normal for awhile

Which I think says a lot about how Scarlette definitely would trust this man personally

And on idias side I think he would. Be scared of her a Lot at first cuz I can genuinely see her tryna make an effort in befriending him, which is scary when she's putting on a fake cheerful persona (aka acting like her friend Karra when she befriended her) cuz she thinks it's what's needed

But after that ruse fails and he learns she genuinely wants to be his friend and just didn't know How to go about that, he can't even try to start thinking of assumptions she just saw him as a charity case before she's apologizing so much and saying outright "I know you hate me now ill leave you alone as best as I can I'm sorry" and just. Frying his brain. The reaction he never expected . Anxiety and outright putting words into his mouth that he must hate her now. Surprise surprise gamer boy she's similar to you in the absolute WORST WAYS in her own unique flavor

So overall after THAT sorta hurdle I think he'd genuinely enjoy her company, vuz she's genuinely nice (it's still terrifying but he can deal since she aggressively drills in on how she's not tryna have any angles here), listens and gives her own feedback to add to the conversation, sometimes gifts him either fanart she made of something he mentioned liking before or sweets (muffins she baked at heartslabyul typically) too, plus she genuinely thinks he's cool and doesn't find him creepy, if anything she will infact bluntly comment on how pretty she finds him.

They would definitely bond over techy roboty stuff I feel, scarlette has basic knowledge of how to take things apart and only doesnt go further cuz she doesn't wanna break anything. So Idia should teach her how to build computers and properly take stuff apart. She would remember it all due to being very interested in stuff like that and I think he'd like her more for it after

he also would successfully turn her into an anime fan I think. Or smthn. Her mom absolutely had a whole set of old anime like sailor moon or smthn so she herself is AWARE of animes abit due to that but prob never looked much into some unless she enjoyed the art. She's someone who appreciates good art and animation he could get her to watch even a romance involved thing without gagging if she likes the art enough

He is scared of and respects her ability to play games like overcooked with 4 controllers all by herself as a "relaxing downtime game" . He doesn't entirely get it but holy fuck (/joke)

If Scarlette and Idia were friends before book 6 he would infact be surprised he's surprised she did this shit at all actually. You know. Ride a broom with pomefiore to a secret government esk facility. Why would he expect her to be Normal and Not Reckless.

"Didn't you say you were sick of everyone dragging you into trouble!? You did this on your own this time!?" "Yeah well I want my cat back"

book 6 she is not okay (long story shorts, he was attacked by grim, has had barely any sleep for awhile, has literally been soaking up blot since book 1 or damn maybe even the prologue, and soaked up abit of thunder spear magic cuz she was holding the base of it to help steady it 3 times, prob banged up from shit, absolutely tired and out of it by the end of the overblot) suffice to say she is ill and Idia and Ortho are gonna lose it in the book 6 prologue after learning she can just soak up blot and magic . She gets an ignihyde fit after this with a lot of anti blot magic in it for her to wear . She gets a LOT of dorm uniforms tailored to wear especially after this

Etc etc I like them a lot and idia deeply wants to know What Is WRONG With Her while also genuinely caring about her enough to try and get abit better for her not wanting to make her think he dislikes her, while she generally thinks of him pretty positively and accidentally ends up helping him go outside occasionally just out of begging him to go with her somewhere out in society cuz someone else is dragging her out

Now getting into any romance is a fucking nightmare cuz idia is Not that brave and Scarlettes dense as fuck and when she's not dense she is Scared and Avoidant due to assuming anyone who she crushes on will infact Hate Her due to childhood rejection trauma hahsbGV. So as you can imagine I have fun with that ♡ (ghost bride is a very fun event for me when it comes to scarlette.)

[docholligay]

Shamash day points: Misc Nominations

Boy do I always have so much fun reading these! Thanks you to everyone who answered. It was hard picking the winners, as it often is, but here they are!

The question was: Tell me about the worst meal you had this year.

1 point to @beefsaladthethirtythird with that's herring under a fur coat! I love herring under a fur coat WHAT DID YOU DO:

For new years my partner and I made this Russian dish called "selyodka pod shuboy", dressed herring salad. It has salted herring, potatoes, carrots, beets and onions,(but we might have left them off), all held together with layers of mayonnaise. My partner put way too much mayo on the salad, and combined with the fatty herring, it was so greasy as to be borderline inedible. Like, it was give-you-GI-issues bad. My partner loves that salad recipe, but she also could not eat more than a little of it. I tried to get through it but it was making me ill after eating so i trashed the leftovers. we made other Russian New Years dishes, and they were all pretty good, but the dressed herring was a no-go.

2 points-- @seolh with the saddest bachelor meal I have ever heard

It's late. I've been at the office for over fourteen hours, but finally I am home. I am hungry but I am also so, so tired. A basic salad sounds like a nice, low-energy idea for food.

I take a chicken breast out of the freezer and put it directly in the oven. It is not seasoned.

I put some lettuce in a bowl. I decide to I am too tired to chop veggies right that moment. I sit on the couch. I sit. I sit some more. I'm so hungry.

I go get the bowl and start picking at the lettuce with my fingers, shoving it into my mouth. It is bland and almost bitter and not particularly pleasant. I continue eating it. Soon, it is gone. The chicken continues to cook.

I just want to go to bed, but I am not sated, and know I need protein. I wait for the chicken to cook. I let it rest. With no seasoning or oil, the top of the chicken breast looks rubbery and a bit shrivelled.

I slice up the chicken breast. I consider attempting to add some flavour, but that's effort. I stand at the corner eating unseasoned pieces of chicken breast. It is not unpleasant, but it is extremely boring. And finally, time for sleep.

…THE worst meal of the year, by far, and I did it to myself!

3 points, @katrani with how did you manage to fuck this up so badly what a wild ride:

….it was actually just this morning. I had bought some ciabatta rolls last weekend, for a specific thing, then because of Reasons couldn't make the thing on the planned night. We had a get-together yesterday, and someone had to spend the night because they were a little too drunk and tired to get home. Perfect, thinks me, even though it is the time of year for jinxes, I still have that bread and can do breakfast sandwiches! Well. Morning arrived, cheerful and optimistic. Even having our first real chill for the year was fine, cause it meant I had been extra cozy and woke up gradually, I felt so rested! Amazing energy levels for cooking! …..the bread had molded. I took too long, and it had been claimed by that stealthy t-rex of modern biology.

This is still okay, muses me, I can find a workaround. Except my fridge and cupboards are emptier than normal, as I'm trying to keep things low so I can scrub everything during an upcoming long weekend. However!!!!!!!!!!! A light! A shining, glorious utility food- I have instant potato flakes! I can very easily make some bullshit hashbrowns!!!! Who doesn't love even a shitty hashbrown patty! And it'll still work as a sandwich kind of thing!!

So I mix the flakes with the smallest amount of water, just enough to make them pasty/battery. I season them, I mold them together, they're sticking as patties fine enough! I heat up the oil, and… they fall apart. So badly. I forgot that the last time I used them for this I had to make them into the mashed potato format and then fry dollops of that. Doing it straight out of the box does not work. Can I blame the heteros for straight out of the box being a terrible idea? Probably not, but it would make me feel better.

Even thinking that okay, it'll be a skillet now, I'll break apart the patties and fry it as lumps of potato batter does not work. They just WILL NOT fry up, the oil soaked into the solid portion a bit too much and now it's not cooking right. Sure, the bottom is crisping, and I can scrape that up and mix it in, but most of it has become just a sludge. A slurry even. Completely unappetizing. I'll have to throw it all out, and borrow someone's rosary or something so I can make proper apologies to the spirits of my fiance's Midwest Irish family for fucking up perfectly good potato product so horrendously.

So all I have to offer my guest, 45 minutes after we've been awake, is some eggs, and they do not like eggs by themselves. My fiance and I eat what I was able to make, and they're well-seasoned, and the texture is actually the best I've gotten eggs to be in a while… but it is poisoned by the shame of not being able to care for my guest, any enjoyment I might have would be a slap in the face to their hunger, a breach of their trust in me to be a proper hostess.

As they were leaving they told me they don't really have breakfast most of the time anyways.

You definitely would have gotten points if you had elaborated at all, @iscahwynn because a 7-11 challenge sounds TERRIFYING

[baylardo]

miscellaneous threshold au halfbaked thoughts bc idk ive been playing sims and frying my brain

had another CAPTAIN philippa arc thought about her becoming a wanted criminal by starfleet, framed for whatever reason,,, its vague in my head but im always looking for an excuse to explore trekverse outside of starfleet haha. her just out in space trying to clear her name. would not have a cringe court scene of people backing her claim. i would die.

was thinking that philippa as a field medic might be more prone to being stationed on PLANETS rather than ships for long periods of time, just helping out in planetary warfare.

with that ^ i was thinking about her helping out during a pandemic and her hyperevolved human blood helps find a cure in some way. was thinking id situate this around the time that shes a commander serving underneath Moidrah, her captain kinda 👀s her after discovering the cure with her DNA.

feel so sick in the head looking at irish girl names for a hypothetical peppa daughter but im not set on anything NOT CANON but i have a feeling ill be indulging in Sims lmao so im looking 😞😞😞 Mave/Mavis sticks out to me

was talking with tardi about maybe Liam and Jace flying planes together on earth seeing as theyre both kinda grounded there together. have a unique little telepathic sign language hybrid way of speaking with each other.

ALSO was thinking that maybe Liam would have a unique little padd that he carries around that writes out what people are verbally saying when hes younger and doesnt have lip reading down?? idk on that one haha i was trying to think of more “futuristic” ways he could seamlessly exist around so many different alien spoken languages. was wondering about the visuals of mouths moving, how the universal translators are an Audible adjustment, how itd maybe be unable to help with how aliens are Actually talking and moving their mouths speaking their native tongues. my thought was that Ed would help put all these languages in his lil padd device and it translates it all into written english (or whatever humans speak, Standard??? idk i feel like it has a name)

wanna work with amelia and ed during Protectors more,,,, QUITE HONESTLY a lot of the chakotay plot was just them talking,,,,, from what i remember lol its a blur. but i was yearning thinking about the end of that book when theyre on the ark planet with all the Protectors and theyre all helping to grow stuff and Liam (O’Donnell) in particular is playing with the Protectors hehe,,,, anyway thinking about amelia and ed being down there with their papa, particularly Ed being around weird animals. maybe Ed hangs out with ODonnell as hes analyzing the planet’s animals for those few chapters,,,,, i forget what all the other characters are doing during that book tbH,,,,,,,, i just want them to be equally having done stuff during those four months of Protectors yknow;)

[infiltracion]

09.     “junk” drawer.

20.     refrigerator. 

14.     computer home screen.

...ESTABLECIENDO CONEXIÓN, @spec08 .

disgusting fiend. you will not live to see winter.

JUNK DRAWER CONTENTS.

led strip scraps that she’s “saving for later”

extra screws and caps 

so many of those lil stick screw drivers that come with every “build it yourself” furniture kit. there’s a little container JUST with those in them in her junk drawer. holy shit.

extra tools she accidently threw in there only to be like “where the fuck is it” and purchase another one. 

retired tech pieces she’s since replaced with better ones or scrapped all together that she’s “saving for a rainy day.” graphics cards, ram modules, the works. do not go in there HAMSTER.

how the hell did bobby pins end up in here, dude? is that a scrunchie?

random lighters

she doesn’t even know what else is in there that’s god’s problem now, not her’s. 

REFRIGERATOR CONTENTS.

this might be a controversial take i think but sombra does cook for herself pretty often. its not amazing gourmet shit but she cooks the shit to the right temperature for the most part and uses seasoning mixes. adobo n mojo are essential. badia y goya y todo eso. it’s good enough, she doesnt particularly Enjoy cooking but you’re probably not gonna complain if you eat something she made. so her fridge is stocked with enough for one, sometimes a lil more because its hard to portion for one person. also, this list is not necessarily her having all of this at once- she goes thru phases where all she has is a monster energy and the last egg in the carton or all of this. mental illness luv 

basic beverage options like milk and water. not as much of both as she probably should have since she needs to drink more water BAD and she only uses milk in recipes or cereal or coffee. 

random juices. mango, guayaba, watermelon, coconut, etc. sometimes there’s some berry focused ones since she likes those too but theyre not her fave. 

energy drinks in a pinch. they make her crash hard tho so she’s definitely more of an espresso person but she hates herself so what else is new. GG

eggs are a big one because as stated above she doesnt particularly enjoy cooking so frying an egg in a pinch is top tier

there’s avocados in the fridge. they’ve gone bad. she’s mad about it every time. she still buys them.

some fruit if she’s in a mood. (aka not as depressed as usual) same selection as the juices category.  they tend to go bad before she gets to em all.

whatever meat she’s defrosting for dinner if she doesn’t forget about it

couple of cheeses in there. if theres nothing else in her fridge there is cheese. its latino culture.

COMPUTER HOME SCREEN.

hilariously enough i think her computer homescreen is legit just her logo. sorry for her big ass head but it would be. she launches her system and theres so many icons on her screen covering said logo. sticky notes with a bunch of shit written in shorthand. messagers auto launching. its a controlled chaos, man. you might not know where everything is but she definitely does and if you TOUCH ANYTHING OR MOVE ANYTHING SHE’S GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE. 

[aamethyst000]

feeling meh, now (may 10, 24 - 11:04pm)

i had to go to the store again today to pick up some extra ingredients we needed for tonights dinnwe. we are having sweet thai chille with rice and my little brother had homemade shake n bake and rice. even though its going to be very late when we finally eat. dinner is still going to be worth it. while i was waiting, i downloaded a few more games for the 64 on my laptop, so i cant wait to try them when the power goes out again. i say "when" because our power seems to go out a lot within a year. not going to lie, it is quite annoying to deal with when we go through a power outage (unplanned). oh well, what can we do when the birds constantly fly right into the pole wires and fry to death. they have a place to sit on, on every fricken pole but they never use it. so much for being so smart lmao

im almost finished watching shera again, i might rewatch it again or go back to hazbin hotel. i dont know, just something to keep me occupied for a little while. dinner will be ready in less than 20 minutes, so i am going to get ready for dinner and then relax for the rest of the night watching shra. im thinking of starting the dishes sometime tomorrow.

2:28am - im having a puff bu myself right now while listening to my spotify playlist <3 i always loved having a puff by mysekf. however, ive always imagined having bedtime puffs with my future lover, it seems nice and relaxing, it would bring me imence joy and happisness and would appreciate life again. i get the feeling id be a changed person once i fall genuinly inlove again. once i allow myself at some point. ill admit, im scared of letting myself go like that again. im afraid of letting someone else in my personal space like that again, despite me really really wanting that again. id over think every action that they have, and as ive mentioned before, my "jealousy" is doing well with coping right now. i still dont understand why, anyway, i should head to bed soon after im done having a puff. im nice and high in the clouds right now. im loving this feeling and i want to go to bed feeling like this. its really nice to feel this high, i wish i can be like this all the time, even during work hours would be awesome. id handle the day with more confidence. for now though, id just have to deal with that by taking cbd edibles and joints. which is okie, it deffinitly can get me through most of the day. it just doesnt stick like thc does. id prefer that over cbd. oh well, good night, readers!~ im going to go finish my puffs then head to bed.

[lauuft]

I had this dream where we were like watching my life in the second grade as a cartoon and on the TV and i had a rlly abusive teacher or something and like i was failing but then the narrator was like but then he turned to dedicated yard work (some other things) and devoted prayer like his father. he would make sure to mow the lawn but never step on any flowers. and my mom was like oh yeah i remember that you were failing then turned things around. and i had a childhood friend over and my parents and i were talking about it and my mom was like well you’ve always been your fathers daughter and then escalated a yelling match or something and my friend was visibly uncomfortable and then my dad asked me to make him pretzels and was trying to explain cooking them and i was like I’ll just air fry them but when i went to see what was up it was like fish sticks? there were fish sticks and pickling spices in the freezer and i was like how do you want these done there’s bay leaves I’d have to sprinkle it on and he was like no I already did some on the stove so it was a pot of fish sticks in pickling spices but with turmeric i think so he started trying to put them in the air fryer but was spilling so i just did it for him and stuck them in the air fryer and then my cousin was also over and my mom was talking to my childhood friend and my cousin like explaining my childhood or something and then my dad went over and i was just in the kitchen doing this and wearing one of my catholic school uniforms. then I woke up and felt like shit and my dad irl was like i want you to clean but ill do something and would not stop like trying to talk to me while i was like 😵‍💫

this dream was coming from a dream where i was asking about my abuela’s apartment if they still had it and if my partner and I could live there?

[albertasunrise]

One Year Later - Part 7

Masterlist

Summary: You and the Mandalorian had been through so much together. You’d become a mother to his foundling and a partner to him. You were in love and you didn’t think that anything could ruin that but after Din hands the child over to his kind. Things fall apart.

Pairings: Din Djarin x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I have chosen not to leave warnings for this chapter as I don't want to give the plot away. Read at your own peril... unless you're under 18... in that case, jog on! 😘

Notes: So.... soz this took so long. Been super busy with work and wedding planning so haven't had much time to write. Hope this was worth the wait though.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

4 months later...

You watched from your pond as Din bounced his daughter on his knee, grinning from ear to ear as he smothered her giggling face in kisses. His recovery had come on leaps and bounds since he'd started his treatment. He still required a stick to help him walk and suffered from pain in his lower back from time to time but they were small fish compared to what he'd been frying almost five months prior.

"You're so happy now." Commented Omera as she sidled up beside you "I am glad."

"I am." You replied sweetly as you turned your head to smile at her "I never thought I'd get this."

"Having a family is the greatest gift one can ask for." She stated with a nod, eyes turning to study Din as he continued to gush over Mae.

"I never thought I'd get to raise her with him and now..."

"Now what?" She pushed, giving you a sly smile when your cheeks went pink.

"We're um... Well, we've been talking about having another baby." You confessed and she gasped in surprise before letting out a quiet squeal.

"Really?"

"Mhmm." You nodded, smiling at her obvious excitement "Wouldn't be till he was better obviously. He wants to be able to support me completely."

"And he can't now?" Omera questioned and you sighed.

"I've told him that he's doing a brilliant job with her." You started as you scooped up another load of Krill before pouring them in the basket in Omera's hands "But because he can't carry her around yet or do any work he feels he's not capable of caring for another child."

"You'd have nine months till they're born." Omera pointed out "He'd be a lot stronger by then."

"True." You shrugged your shoulders and gave her a slight nod before scooping up more of the blue creatures you farmed "We haven't been... you know, we haven't..."

"Been intimate?"

You shook your head, eyes staring down at the sieve in your grasp.

"I mean we obviously have been." You chuckled and she grinned at you "But not since we made her and I don't know..."

"Know what?

"He's not exactly shown any interest in being that way with me lately and-"

"He was paralysed 5 months ago." Omera interrupted "It takes time to come back from injuries like the ones he sustained but I have no doubts that he will want that with you when he's ready."

"We haven't really had a moment alone." You confessed and she gave you a sympathetic look "Having a baby kinda puts a damper on downtime."

"How about I have her this weekend?" Omera suggested, "Just give me enough milk for the night."

"I don't know." You said, eyes drifting to them again before returning her gaze "I don't know if he'd be interested."

"Ask him." She said plainly "If he does then great. If not then give it a little more time and suggest it again."

You gave her an unsure nod. You still weren't convinced but the idea of time alone with Din thrilled you. Just that morning you'd woken to his hard member pressing insistently against your backside and you'd hoped he'd wake and take you but instead, Mae had screamed. He'd been up in a flash, limping awkwardly to her crib to calm her as you'd groaned in frustration at your daughter's ill timing.

"All you can do is ask." She finished and you gave her a final nod before continuing your work.

Excited at the idea that you'd finally get some time alone with him. You just hoped he'd agree.

...

You smiled at Din as he limped into the room, stick thumping against the wooden floorboards with each steadied stride he took. You could see the frustration in his face as he walked towards you. Angry that after four months, he still needed an aide to walk but you were nothing but proud of him, he'd come so far. He had setbacks along the way, of course, but you had pushed and supported him and after what had felt like an eternity to the Mandalorian, he had taken a few shaky steps without the bars.

It had all been uphill from there so as you'd pondered Omera's suggestion whilst clearing the dishes from dinner you were more confident that now was the best time to broach the subject of your relationship. You wanted more.

You needed it.

"Mae's down for the night." He said as he sat down on his chair at the table.

"That's good." You replied, giving him a small smile before finishing off your task "There was something I wanted to talk to you about." You said after a few moments of silence, eyes drifting to him.

"Yeah?"

You nodded and he sat back in his chair as he waited for you to speak, nerves fluttering in your stomach as you turned to face him head-on.

"Well, it's... it's just..." You trailed off, suddenly unable to form the words.

"It's what Mesh'la?" He pushed gently, head tilting to the side as he gave you a concerned look.

"Things have been good with us lately." You started and his expression softened "But we haven't really had any time alone."

"Having a baby does that to a couple." He joked and you nodded "What's your point?"

"My point is that Omera has offered to have Mae for a night this weekend." You said, blurting it out with one breath before looking at him and panting slightly as you awaited his response.

"Is that a good idea?" He asked and you visibly deflated "I mean, will Mae be okay away from us? She's never been away from you for longer than a few hours."

"Right. Yeah." You replied, nodding as you turned away, hoping to hide your hurt expression from him.

"It's not that I don't want to spend time with you." He piped up, seeing the change in your posture as you busied yourself with other tasks "I just don't know if it's a good idea is all."

"I understand." You said with a nod before putting away the last few dishes and making your way outside into the fresh air.

You needed a moment to collect yourself, to process your disappointment and part of you felt silly for feeling the way you did. You'd known that he wouldn't agree. He's made no indications that he wanted anything more with you lately other than the odd kiss here and there.

The closest you'd gotten was that morning and he'd been up so fast when Mae had cried that you were sure it was partly from embarrassment. He'd told you he wanted everything with you and yet he'd made no moves in order to obtain it so this just cemented that for you.

Din didn't want you.

Meanwhile, the Mandalorian watched you leave and confusion etched into his features. He wasn't sure why you were upset. He knew it had been difficult to get time together since he'd been here but that was the joys of a family, wasn't it? He wondered if he should go after you but he also wasn't sure what good that would do if he didn't know why you were upset. He'd probably only make things worse. So he sat and waited for you to return, smiling when you walked through the door only to be greeted with a blank expression that made his stomach twist.

"Shall we go to bed Mesh'la?" He suggested as he pushed himself to his feet and grabbed his stick.

"You go." You said, tone void of emotion "I'll sleep out here."

"What?" He yelped, making you jump slightly "Why?"

"Just want to." You replied plainly "Do I need a reason?"

Din knew then that he'd screwed up somehow. You'd not been this cold to him since he'd first returned to you and he hated it. He shook his head as his mouth opened to speak "I suppose not." He said before turning to leave "Goodnight."

You didn't reply.

~

A week passed by and your coldness towards him continued. His heart ached to know what he'd done but you gave him nothing and so he resigned himself to endure your icy countenance.

Omera had noticed the change in you too and had approached you about it. She'd felt for you when you'd told her but she felt for Din too. She could see his struggle and how he yearned for you. Catching him staring at you as you worked and her heart broke for him.

It was clear to her that this was an issue of miscommunication but you were stubborn and set in your ways and he was timid when it came to your temper. She knew a simple conversation would fix this but worried how you'd react to her getting involved yet as time went on she found herself hating how neither of you seemed to take that step towards absolution. She knew she'd need to if you didn't fix this soon or she worried that things would go beyond repair.

You could take a grudge to the grave.

It was another week before she decided that enough was enough. She waltzed up to Din, spotchka in hand and gave him a warm smile as she handed him the beverage.

"Thank you." He said with a nod before returning his gaze to you, his expression killing Omera slowly.

"Still not worked things out?" She asked him and he shook his head, eyes dropping to the glass in his hands.

"No." He confessed and she sighed "Truth is I don't know what it is I need to fix." He said and Omera's brows shot up at this "She won't speak to me. I've asked her what's wrong over and over but she doesn't tell me."

"No?" She questioned and his head shook from side to side again "I'm killing myself here. I want so badly to fix whatever it is I did but how do I do that if I don't know what it was in the first place?"

Omera let out a small sigh as she sat herself down on the chair across from his, her hands in her lap as she worked out how to word what she was about to tell him.

"She doesn't think you want her," Omera said plainly and Din's eyes shot up at that.

"What?" He asked, his shock evident in both his tone and expression "Why would she think that?"

"You don't touch her. You barely kiss her." She started, glancing at you a moment before continuing "I offered to have Mae so that the two of you could explore whatever it is you are."

"But Mae-"

"Is old enough to spend one evening away from her mother." Omera interrupted "She just wanted a chance to talk. You'd told her about how you wanted to have a baby with her... Expand your family and yet you don't give her any physical indicators that you want her in any way so when you said no to my offer... It solidified that for her."

"I do want her that way it's just..." he trailed off, feeling embarrassed and ashamed of what he was about to say before he'd even said it "I'm not the man I once was." He started, scraping a hand over his face before continuing "I doubt I'll ever be again and I don't want her to be disappointed."

"She won't be." Omera assured him "You are getting stronger and stronger every day Mando. You will get better, I am sure of it, but you need to stop pushing your insecurities onto her."

Din nodded, eyes clouding with tears as he looked over at you "I know."

"I'll have Mae tonight." She said firmly, locking eyes with him "You need to use this as an opportunity to show her what she means to you because right now she doesn't think she's anything but the mother of your child."

"She's everything to me." He said, sobbing quietly as he looked over at you again.

"Then tell her."

...

You walked in to see food sitting on the table and a nervous Din stood across from you, shifting from foot to foot as he awaited your reaction. Your icy heart melted a little at the effort he'd clearly made but then your mind wandered to your daughter.

"Where's Mae?" You asked, "I need to feed her."

"She's with Omera." He stated and your head shot up in surprise "Gave her enough milk to last her till breakfast."

"Why?" You snapped and he flinched as he took a step back.

"I was hoping we could talk." He confessed, his voice small.

"I don't want to talk Din." You growled, "I just want to eat and go to sleep."

"Please." He pleaded and you looked at him again, noting his pained posture.

"You should sit. You're clearly uncomfortable." You grumbled as you poured yourself some spotchka from the bottle on the counter and gulped it down.

"Sit with me?" He asked and you let out a sigh as you shrugged and made your way over to the table "Omera cook all this?"

Din shook his head "I did." He said nervously and your expression softened a little "I wanted to do something nice for you and..." He trailed off and you felt the anger you harboured towards him start to fizzle out.

So you sat, taking a moment to admire the food he'd made before tucking in and giving him a nod when you realised he was staring at you, awaiting your verdict.

The two of you ate in silence then, the tension in the air started to disperse as the food was eaten and enjoyed. When you were done, he stood and grabbed the plates, intending to do the dishes but one step sent him tumbling. You were on your feet in a heartbeat, gathering the dishes and placing them on the side before helping Din sit. Your heart broke when your eyes met.

"I'm useless." He sobbed and you shook your head "Can't even carry dishes from the table."

"This all takes time Din." You said softly "You're doing so well."

"I can't be the man I want to be for you though." He stated and this took you by surprise "I want to be the man I was when we met."

"You are." You assured him and he scoffed "You suffered major trauma. You had spinal surgery Din! You don't just walk that off."

Din said nothing, just sobbed silently from his seat on the floor whilst he willed the pain to pass and as you watched him, all the anger dissolved. His statement suddenly made everything clear to you. You had insecurities and so did he.

"Come." You said as you helped him to his feet "Let's get you to bed."

"But our evening..." He sobbed and you smiled at him.

"Can be spent in bed whilst you rest." You said sweetly and he nodded, allowing you to help him limp to the bedroom before sitting him on the edge of the bed you shared "I'll be back in a moment." You said "Going to grab you some of those painkillers the doc left you."

He nodded, watching you leave before gingerly getting onto the bed and leaning against the headboard as he waited for you to come back. You were back only a moment later with water and a pill in hand, handing them both to him and watching as he polished them off quickly.

"Perhaps I should go fetch Mae." You suggested as you stood across from the bed, nervously playing with your hands.

"No point disturbing her now." He said with a smile "I expect she's down for the night."

"You sure?" You asked and he nodded.

"Come sit with me." He said, patting the bed beside him and letting his head fall back as the medicine did its work.

"Better?" You asked as you got comfortable, noting the lines of pain had left his face.

"Much." He said with a smile, nodding as he rolled his head to look at you "I'm sorry I've not been a good partner to you."

"Where did that come from?" You asked, brows shooting up in shock.

"Omera spoke to me." He confessed "She told me that you felt you didn't matter to me. That I don't want you." He started and you looked away guiltily, a single tear slipping down your cheek "Mesh'la... that couldn't be further from the truth. You are everything to me."

"Din I-"

"Please." He said, raising his hand to stop you "I've been struggling with my own demons lately. Worrying about whether I'll ever be good enough for you... Whether I'll be a good dad but what I hadn't realised is that I was pushing those insecurities onto you and I'm sorry."

"We'd been talking about having another baby and then... well lately you show no interest in anything physical with me and I started to think perhaps you didn't want that anymore."

"I do." He assured you "Just when I'm better perhaps? We'd cope better I think."

"I think we can do it now." You said, taking his hand "You will be a good father whether you can walk unaided or not Din. You are already an amazing father to Mae and you will be to any future children we have."

"I just want to be able to carry them like any normal parent." He said, voice wobbling.

"And hopefully you will." You kissed him softly, resting your brow on his as you continued "Takes nine months to grow a baby Din." You chuckled "A lot can happen in nine months."

"True." He conceded and you smiled "So does this mean we're going to try?" He asked and you shrugged.

"We don't have to start now." You started "No pressure from me. But maybe soon? If you want" You finished, looking away shyly.

"Can we start now?" He asked, eyes darkening with lust and you shivered.

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you gazed back at him.

"Now's good." You squeaked, heart, beating rapidly with a mixture of excitement and anticipation before he was on you. Kissing you roughly as he pushed you onto your back and settled between your legs.

The painkillers had done their work and so before you knew it, the two of you were bare for each other and painting each other's skin with your frenzied breaths. His dominant hand slipped between your thighs, groaning at the slick he found there before sinking two thick fingers into your heat.

You moaned loudly, not caring who might hear as he pumped and curled his digits with an accuracy that only he could achieve. Your hands gripped his shoulders as he thrust his fingers more violently into you and your mind went into a frenzy at the squelching sounds this action made. The whole thing was lewd but you couldn't find it in you to care as you curled his fingers into that spongy spot within and you broke.

"Shiiiiit." You gasped as you pulsed around his fingers, nails digging into his soft skin whilst he worked you through it.

Then his digits were removed and replaced with his thick and painfully erect member, filling you deliciously with one thrust. He paused to let you adjust, kissing you languidly as your hands travelled from his shoulders to his hips, urging him to move with a gentle pull.

His pace was slow, unhurried but deep and passionate. You moaned and gasped into each other's mouths as he continued his toe-curling pace. It was unlike any sex you'd had with him... With anyone and as he continued to hit that perfect spot over and over, you finally understood what it was like to make love.

As your moans became more frantic, so did his thrusts. He captured each sound you made with his mouth as he fucked into you at a dizzying pace and before you even realised it was happening, you were cumming on him, squeezing his length in order to drag him along with you but he wasn't ready, not yet.

Grabbing your leg he pulled it up and to his waist, opening you further for him. Allowing him to his even deeper and you mewled at the sensation, struggling to keep a coherent thought in your head as he brought you back to the edge in no time at all.

"One more." He purred against the shell of your ear and that was all you needed to tip the scales again.

You clutched to him for dear life as you clenched around him, grinning when his hips stuttered and stopped, one final thrust burying him deep inside your centre as he panted over you.

'Think it worked?" He asked and you chuckled.

"I hope so." You breathed as you ran your finger through his curly locks and grinned at his blissed-out expression.

"The process is fun." He joked and you smirked at him "Think we should repeat it a few more times to be safe."

"Agreed." You replied kissing him sweetly "Certainly before we get Mae back." You finished with a wink.

"Definitely."

Next

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[ephemeral-sorrow]

family life with 21 year old!twelve [part 1]

okay, i imagine this as some kind of a happy ending AU, where twelve doesn't get shot by american snipers and sphinx manage to bring charges against the japanese government without being captured.

however, this path would take two significant turns, depending on whether nine survives his illness or not.

if his health isn't completely destroyed by the drug: let's bravely and responsibly face the fact that both nine's body and mind needed profound rest, given how long he suffered and endured the after-effects of the medicine the scientists forcibly injected him. he stubbornly ignored his condition in order to finally reach his and twelve's goal and make institutions of such kind exposed to light. being so mentally strenuous only added fuel to the deadly embers.

after the whole ordeal was over and shibazaki attracted the public attention, sphinx alongside you went into hiding, spectating the long-awaited occurence with a strange feeling of solitude. as if... all of it was rushing past you three in a swift motion. the world drowned in the informational uproar, making you wonder whether you truly once were in the centre of it all.

the first priority was to get nine tended to. his panic attacks worsened during the operation he conducted on his own, so you and twelve had no choice but to find a way to get a proper treatment for him.

for the sake of this canon, let's accept the idea of nine not revealing his face in the final video. provided with that, you managed to change your identities and get new documents without much effort, as you did all the time in the past. not wasting any time, you found a high-level clinic in the outskirts of tokyo and had nine accepted. later on, during passing months you visited him regularly and made sure he was indeed getting better. after discharging, the three of you once again went back to living under the same roof. after everything you went through, it was... extremely necessary for your group to stick together and think about the possible future. you didn't imagine your life to be separate.

if nine dies after handing over the detonator to shibazaki: twelve mourned for his friend like a wounded crow that lost its faithful companion. you did your best to comfort him and provide as much warmth and support as possible, all the while suppressing the tears of your own. surely enough, more often than not, twelve put on a brave face and kept pushing himself to think on the brighter side, but you knew him all too well to turn your eyes blind to it. at some nights, in the darkness of your shared apartment you caught him crying silently by the window. at times like these, you found yourself unable to just stand there politely and watch him break down. you scrambled out of the bed and ran to hug him, pressing yourself impossibly closer to his shaking body.

the pain was undeniably strong. you realised that every single time you looked into twelve's warm orbs and saw the thoughts reflected in them. both of you knew you needed to go on with life and not allow yourselves to fall into the pit of despair.

twelve took the major step towards.

"i want to change my name."

you looked over your shoulder, as you were stirring the stew in the frying pan, surprise and mild apprehension written all over your face. of course, you two have discussed the topic before, but you still were caught off guard.

"are you sure?"

twelve found comfort in the fading warmth of the coffee cup, thoughtfully looking at black drops that were left inside.

"yeah. not only that, but i guess i want to change my birthdate and place of birth. won't... hurt."

"somehow... you feel different about this sort of thing, even though you've done it countless times before."

"it wasn't serious. i didn't mind changing names because i thought it wouldn't affect my life one way or the other. i would still be me. heh, some part of me even considered that fun - you know, changing your "username", as if it were some kind of a videogame."

twelve's smile gave you a bitter sensation on the tip of your tongue. you felt the familiar constriction in the throat, as you quickly turned away to the sink. he was doing it again. hiding his pain behind a smile.

and it hurt you more knowing what he was on about.

he was going to...

"i want to start my life completely anew. like a whole different person. i will apply for college, find a part-time job, attend student gatherings, fret over the strict teachers. things everyone does. that'll be so cool, don't you think--"

"are we going to erase him just like that?"

your quiet voice held no condemnation. though you'd be lying if you said that you hadn't felt a pang of regret. you just wanted to hear twelve's answer. you couldn't go on living if he just chose to stuff the agony deep inside and ignore it, pretending to be okay and ready to restart. you had to know he truly let go. otherwise... otherwise...

twelve hugged you tightly, turning away the stove behind you. you hugged him back eagerly, heart pounding in the chest.

he was touching your back in a soothing motion, effectively calming you down.

"sh-h, sweetheart. it's okay."

"what is okay about all this..." you sobbed, clutching his shirt. closing your eyes, you breathed in, growing addicted to the feeling of being comforted by him, not that it was the first time.

"i'm not forgetting him. never. nine remained, remains and will remain in my heart. i feel happy that he got our wish fulfilled and passed away with peace. at first, it was really hard for me to move on. but now i know i have to live. so don't worry about me." having said that, he caressed the side of your face and made you look up to him. then he pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. "we have each other now. let's try and create something truly beautiful for once instead of blowing everything up? ^^"

"twelve..." you weakly hit his chest with a fist. "you're such an idiot."

"your idiot. there's no getting away from me now."

twelve especially requested that you would help him choose his new name; and upon looking at his blazing smile, you instantly came up with an idea - akira 明 ("the light coming from the sun").

as for the date of birth, twelve didn't think too long.

"then... let it be the 15th of june."

"that was fast. did you think about it beforehand?"

"no. that's the day we've met, silly. i want to celebrate the most important event of my life as my birthday."

[cold-r-ain-in-june]

so a few weeks ago @steadfast sent me an ask wondering how i manage to gather the pieces of media for my web weavings

unfortunately,  it just happened that when you sent me that ask i was one foot in the grave with a fever and ever since i got better i've been procrastinating writing you a reply since i wanted to give you my best answer

double unfortunately, tumblr decided to delete the post and your ask when i was almost done, so i'll try to write it again even though i'm frustrated over the original getting deleted so bear with me

so to start off, i happen to suffer from the horrible condition called sometimes-i-feel-things-so-strongly-i-want-to-cut-open-my-skin-to-let-them-out. a horrible illness really. things like anger or missing my ex or chronic sadness. sometimes, rarely, it happens to be love, though much less often then i would like.

basically, i bottle things up to the point in which i cant help but see them everything. i see a random poem on my instagram feed, i listen to a song on the bus and one of the lyrics clicks like it never had before, a scene from a movie a watched 3 years ago comes to haunt me at night when i cant sleep.

so i gather them, sometimes, i make new folders for them, other times i am so lazy and messy i just let them get lost and rot with the other 10k of screenshots i have on my phone.

obviously, i also have to outright search for things, but i dont even do it for the sake of creating a web weaving post at first. i just feel one thing so deeply i have to look up proof that people have been also feeling this thing for thousands of years and theyve all dealt with it. i mostly search them here on tumblr and sometimes pinterest. words like "friendship", like "medea", like "toxic siblings", they can all open doors to pieces of media you have never heard of before, but which contain a three line dialogue youd kill for from the first time you read it. this all very tricky, evidently, at times, things simply dont match with the way you actually feel, no matter how much you search for them, but stitching them together can give you this almost perfect thing that mirrors your soul.

i also happen to be the kind of person who screenshots everything they think its relevant. and its good that i have really low standards for relevance. thats how i end up diving in my screenshots pile, when i feel like my web searching is failing, and sometimes i get lucky enough and i find a line i collected 2 years ago that matches exactly how i feel in that moment.

you've also mentioned the question of whenever i memorize book passages, and the answer is somewhere between yes and no. while, when i read i heavily annotate my books, im not a big fan of memorising outright passages (my brain is mush lets be honest, i cant fry it even more with overloading), and i dont write them down or anything, but i do however manage to memorize the overall idea of passages that stick to me. liek i can tell that x book has some quote about y thing even if i dont remember it outright. then i try to look it up, i use goodreads mostly (which is a bitch on mobile but you can work your way around if you search shit on web AND THEN you open it with the app) and google books when it decides to be helpful every once in a while, and if neither of those work, THEN, i open my edition and try to look for it because im lazy like that.

another site i really like, and its obvious in my web weavings is gentle.earth!! which, now that i say it, i actually havent visited it in a while but since i remembered it exists ill probably stalk it for the next few weeks. it's an anymous site on which everyone can confess things that hang heavy on them and some of them get to be displayed on the page after the entires are curated. its a really pretty thing to look through

now that i covered the bases of obtaining the materials for the web weaving, which i think i can boil down to 1. hysterical search mission and 2. hoarding every piece of media you come across, i will also add that at least for me personall, putting them in order for is a pain in the ass (which is also the maine reason i havent made a web weaving in almost a year even though i have the materials ready). i dont know if other people who do this kind of things are as press as i am about the order in which each post go and the way the different shades of the same idea interwine and bullshit bullshit or if im just mental. but yeah its also a really important step for me, its basically the polish of the post ig

also the biggest problem with the hoarding strategy is spending 2 days looking for a source because your past self was too lazy to also screenshot the source. thats also a bitch

anyway, i honestly i have no idea if youll find anything helpful here, or if i just used your ask to moan about my struggles but its 3 am over here and honestly this is the best ive got. thank you for the ask though, i do love getting ask even if it takes me two decades to answer them <3

[fagcrisis]

so this is gluten and egg free bc i cant have gluten or egg. ill note where you can use egg and regular flour

ingredience:

1 kg chicken thigh fillet (its cheaper than chicken breast and more fatty which is good when youre starving on minimum wage)

sunflower oil

8 cloves of garlic (original recipe called for 4 but theyre wrong)

toasted sesame seeds (just, like an amount. ull sprinkle this on at the end u dont need a lot) FOR THE BATTER

4 tablespoons of cornstarch and 6 tablespoons of water mixed until smooth (or 2 eggs beaten)

250g schär mix b all purpose gluten free flour (or regular all purpose flour) sifted!!

125g cornstarch

1 teaspoon baking powder

240ml cold water

2 teaspoons olive oil

1 teaspoons of salt FOR THE SAUCE

160g honey

1 tablespoon cornstarch

2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon ketchup

2 teaspooons sesame oil

2 teaspoons salt

a little bit of paprika if youre hungarian and cant stand a recipe not having paprika

SIFT the flour and add in the salt and baking powder. if youre using the egg substitute i wrote then instead of adding yoiur 125g cornstarch in with your dry ingredients you should stir it into your cornstarch and water mix and add it with your wet ingredients. if ur using eggs then mix the cornstarch with a bit of the cold water and add it together with the eggs and water bc if you just put it in dry itll clump. pour in the oil in as well and mix until smooth

CUT up the chicken into larger cubes than you think you need or strips. put in the batter and make sure its all evenly coated

MIX the sauce ingredients together, once again make sure to mix the cornstarch with a tiny bit of water and add it in that way or itll clump on ya

POUR the sunflower oil into a wok (im using a wok bc i have one the recipe said sautee pan idk what that is. use whatever pan you have) u want abt 5 cms of oil in there but i used less bc i ran out. heat it up and place the chicken in. take the pieces of chicken out one by one and make sure theyre still evenly coated. youre probably gonna have to do multiple rounds bc u dont want them to stick together, so you shld store the ones that are done on a plate lined with paper towel. fry them on both sides until theyre golden brown

when youre done frying all your chicken which may take a bit depending how many rounds u can get them done, pour out some of the oil from the pan and in the remaining oil put in your chopped garlic and fry until you can smell the garlic (or when it starts browning a bit for those of us who lost a bit of smell to covid)

at this point pour your sauce in and simmer until it thickens. stir occasionally

then pour all your chicken pieces back in at this point u can do all of them u dont have to fear them sticking together. fry in the sauce until all the chicken is evenly coated in sauce and it like sticks. drizzle the sesame seeds on and serve with whatever the fuck i had it with chips bc i couldnt be arsed to make rice

Seasome honey chicken recipe now 🙏🔫

aight gimme a sec to get to my laptop ill type it out

[fizzingwizard]

watching QI and Stephen Fry just said that PG Wodehouse was friends with Arthur Conan Doyle and based Jeeves and Wooster on the relationship between Holmes and Watson - one smart and one a “blitherer.”

And as I grind my teeth and feel happy to live in the era of reclaiming Watson from accusations of stupidity when compared to a man who can tell what part of London you’ve been in by the mud on your trousers, I turn to Google, which offers me the balm of “a thirty second sound bite from QI does not, in fact, tell the whole story” lol

(On the other hand, given that Fry was Jeeves, maybe he is more just having a laugh at Hugh Laurie? bahahaha)

under a cut for length

Here’s one with this fabulous description:

“Wodehouse’s most famous characters are undoubtedly Jeeves and Wooster — a twentieth century, self-absorbed Holmes and Watson, if they were divided by class and Watson’s bloodline had gone through a few more generations of in-breeding —”

buahahaha. Well, let’s consider that the inbreeding had more to do with the blithering than the Watson influence :)

But the rest of it is a very interesting article about Wodehouse as a German captive, and it’s pretty wow. And I went down a rabbit trail here feeling sympathetic for a guy who does come across as ignorant and bumbling, mainly because politics are boring:

“A news article was released at the same time, exacerbating the situation. Wodehouse stated, ‘I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.”

I mean any day of the week I’d be on board with that quote. But not during war, not during times people are “meant” to be angry. And anger very much has its place. It really is a human dilemma: requiring everyone to be angry when there really and truly is something worth being angry about rejects the idea of people whose basic nature is peaceful. I guess you could say they were born in the wrong era, not that we get any sort of choice about it.

“The MI6 officer [in Paris] decided Wodehouse was merely ‘ill-fitted to live in an age of ideological conflict’”

that is so funny. and heart-breaking. not even about Wodehouse - about all the people in the world who are equally ill-fitted for the times, but still the times needs them...

When good people do nothing, we know what happens. But, on the other hand, among those good people is a whole lot of individual people, some of whom simply don’t want the inconvenience, and some of whom are really basically peaceful and developing a warlike mindset would destroy them. As always, humans don’t like humanity. We must fit into boxes - even the people who reject boxes do their best to fit everyone into different boxes. Because of pain - it’s hard to argue with pain.

Anyway back to Holmes and Watson, lol.

My favorite bits in this one begin with a Wodehouse quote:

“Usually we tend to discard the idols of our youth as we grow older, but I have not had this experience with A.C.D. I thought him swell then, and I think him swell now.“

Thanks for validating the idols of our youth for us old fogies who dare to continue to enjoy life past 25!

Oh this is great too:

“As a creator of comedy romances, Wodehouse’s detectives were permitted time off from the study of little known Asiatic poisons to relax at the Senior Bloodstain, and even to fall in love. A hardboiled crime writer could never permit such diversions, as we learn from Wodehouse’s fictional crime writer, James Rodman, in ‘Honeysuckle Cottage’.

‘He held rigid views on the art of the novel, and always maintained that an artist with a true reverence for his craft should not descend to goo-ey love stories, but should stick austerely to revolvers, cries in the night, missing papers, mysterious Chinamen, and dead bodies — with or without gash in throat.’”

take that, you hardboiled detectives you!!

So I found other comparisons of J&W and H&W as well, but nothing that went too deep. I think what I was hoping to find, and which may exist somewhere, is someone considering the role-flopping aspect: Watson is Holmes’s helper, but Holmes equivalent Jeeves is Wooster’s helper. That changes things a lot. If Jeeves were a woman, he might have been perceived by readers as a “nagging wife” sort, for instance. Whereas if Watson were a woman, his stupidity would be forgiven, but he’d definitely need a lot more rescuing from Dastardly Villains, - at least once per story and twice per novel ;)

I like thinking of J&W as Wodehouse going “I really need a Sherlock Holmes in my life to tell me what to do” and poof, Jeeves is born. I would say the same, except I hate to be told what to do :)

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || 11

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be. he is the perfect gentleman, after all.

warnings: f!reader

wc: 1.5k

m.list |  ch. 10 ↞ ch. 11 ↠ ch. 12

“They should be ready,” Iwaizumi murmured. His breath tickled over the outer shell of your ear, yet another reminder of just how close you were.

“Stop doing that,” you whined, tilting your head away from him.

“Doing what?” He grinned.

You pouted as you poked at the eggs sizzling away in the pan with your slotted spatula.

Iwaizumi knew what he was doing. There’s no way he didn’t.

‘Let’s make breakfast,’ he’d said. You’d agreed on the promise – or more aptly put, the insistence – that you get some good food into you.

He’d failed to explain that ‘making breakfast’ meant frying eggs while a shirtless Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around your waist and propped his chin on your shoulder.

Sure, you were ‘together’ now, but that didn’t stop it from being a tad overwhelming. It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable, or that you didn’t want any of this to happen. It just still felt a bit like a daydream – a place you would’ve let your mind wander back in second year.

But it wasn’t a daydream, and it certainly wasn’t your second year of high school.

You weren’t going to let yourself lose all of this just because you couldn’t believe that it was really – finally – happening.

“You alright?” Iwaizumi asked, squeezing your waist gently.

“Hm?” You blinked yourself back to the present, hastily sliding the spatula under one egg that was turning suspiciously crispy at the sides. Thank God Iwaizumi liked his eggs well-done.

“You spaced out for a second there,” he said, a familiar troubled lilt to his voice.

“I’m tired,” you pouted as you slid the egg onto a plate.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled. His chest rumbled against your back, reminding you once again that this was real. This was happening.

No, you weren’t used to it just yet. It was going to take a while.

“You should be,” you huffed.

“Although, I remember you saying you’d slept well.”

“Did I?” You said, voice perfectly innocent. “I don’t remember saying that.”

Iwaizumi laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder. A shiver rippled through your body like an electric shock.

‘What am I going to do with you…” He murmured, nuzzling his head into your shoulder with a contented sigh.

You swallowed roughly, trying to calm your nerves.

Stupid Iwaizumi Hajime and his stupid face and his stupid broad shoulders and strong arms and his stupid husky voice and—

This is the first time you’ve thought that without the obligatory guilt. Usually, you’d berate yourself for letting your imagination wander that far into dangerous territory. But it’s okay now. Because things are different. You’re… well, you’re something.

It’s this strange in-between, something you haven’t given shape to. You’re ‘together’ now, but what does that mean? Do labels matter? Should you be worried about how Iwaizumi saw the two of you?

A familiar yet unwelcome smell brought you back to the present.

“You’re gonna burn your egg,” Iwaizumi muttered.

“Oh, shit,” you mumbled, hastily sliding your spatula underneath it. The egg fell flat on the pan as you tried to lift it up, the yolk spilling out and hardening on the cheap cast iron.

You let out a little whine, frustrating bubbling up in your stomach.

“I can have that one,” Iwaizumi hummed, one hand coming up to cover yours and guide the spatula back to the pan.

“It’s fine,” you sighed, letting him do all the work. With Iwaizumi’s help, you transported the egg to the plate with no further casualties.

You stared down at your work with derision. You’ve certainly done better. Although, you wouldn’t make a testament to your own cooking skills while Iwaizumi was in your presence.

But if he’s going to tease you about it, he makes no indication. He just hugged your waist tighter, his arms tensing around you.

He was so warm, so comforting.

He also seemed to only be half-awake. Although you couldn’t blame him. It was almost idyllic; a warm Saturday morning with nothing to do.

You usually spent days like this alone, wondering if you’d ever get over Iwaizumi Hajime.  

But not anymore.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Are you sure you wanna do it now?” Iwaizumi asked gently.

“Hm?” You blinked at him, something twisting in your stomach.

The two of you sat on the couch, Iwaizumi’s phone sitting on the coffee table with the same dour presence as an open casket.

You’d tried to ignore the lingering guilt hanging off your shoulders all day. You really had.

But after a day of doing not much of anything, you couldn’t ignore it any longer. Neither could Iwaizumi.

“Do we… want some time?”

“Time?”

It’s like you’re seventeen again, fresh-faced and innocent, about to have your heart broken by a boy you’d revered like a teen idol.

“He’s probably going to be pissed,” Iwaizumi said. “Do you need some time to prepare for that?”

Oh.

You’d expected him to say something far more wishy-washy; something about how you’d – or rather, he’d – need time to know if this was what he really wanted, only to string you along for a few weeks before deciding once again that you weren’t worth the trouble.

“Do you need some time to prepare?” You asked, your gut now churning. You’d known that this’d be scary, but the severity of it is still unsettling. You were just going to call your brother. That shouldn’t be scary – a bit nerve-wracking, maybe, but not scary. Not frightening enough to make your stomach collapse in on itself.

Iwaizumi paused, pressing his lips together.

What was he going to say? Was he going to back out? Was he going to tell you that this wasn’t worth it? Was he—

“No,” Iwaizumi said, shaking his head. “The longer we keep it a secret, the more guilty I’ll feel.”

Your heart stammered. Was he… was he actually going to go through with it this time?

You clenched your fists in your lap. God, why’d this have to be so complicated? And why couldn’t you just get over what happened all those years ago? You were still anxious, wondering if Iwaizumi was going to leave you in the lurch, if he’d choose Tooru’s feelings over yours without a second thought, if he’d—

“Hey,” Iwaizumi murmured, reaching over and taking your hand. “I’m not running away this time.”

He brought your knuckles to his lips and graced them with a gentle kiss. “I promise.”

Your words die in your throat.

You want to say something in response – anything, really. But you can’t. Nothing comes out. If there was a right thing to say, you didn’t know it.

Everything was different. Everything had changed.

This wasn’t the Iwaizumi you’d had your heart broken by.

He was a man now, all grown up.

“Should we call him on my phone?” Iwaizumi asked. “He’ll be angrier at me, so I should bare the brunt of it.”

Guilt twisted in your stomach – an old friend of yours, apparently. He was right. Tooru would definitely kick up the biggest stink with Iwaizumi; he’d probably invoke the ‘bro code’ or something like that or call him a bad friend for ‘taking advantage’ of his sister.

That wasn’t happening. You would fight Tooru on that one. But Tooru was unlikely to see it that way. Especially not at first; not when the fire was hot.

“We can call him on mine,” you murmured, the image of Tooru’s furious face sitting ill at ease in your mind.

Iwaizumi shook his head. “Nah. I’m the one he instructed to ‘keep boys away from’ you,” he smiled softly. “I don’t think this is what he meant.”

You blushed, capturing your lower lip between your teeth.

There could be rage directed your way. Something vague about ‘stealing his best friend’, probably. Was Tooru still that childish? Was he still prone to being petty? Or had his time in Argentina changed that?

“Let’s get it over and down with,” Iwaizumi sighed, opening his phone with his thumb.

You watched in abject silence and he flipped through his contacts, Tooru’s name sticking out like a stain on a white blouse.

Iwaizumi glanced at you, giving a decisive nod. You just nodded back, completely at a loss for words.

He pressed Tooru’s name and the phone sprung to life, each ring taking approximately three years off your lifespan.

No putting this off now.

“Iwa!” Oikawa’s sing-song voice bounced through the phone, joyful and naïve.

It filled you with dread.

It wasn’t right, having your brother’s voice strike fear through you. But at this point, it’s just another part of this comedy of errors.

You and Iwaizumi exchanged a look.

There’s such resolve in his eyes – a promise, finally, that he’ll stand by your side in this. That he’ll fight for the right to be part of your life in all the ways you both want. That this time, he won’t run.

You reached out and took his hand. It was a little clammy – perhaps the only indication of how nervous he really was.

“Hey, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi swallowed, his face a tad paler than usual. “We have something to tell you.”

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Yes! Cute prompt (pre-relationship): Bill seeing (maybe even making, though that's optional) Hardy laugh for the first time and suddenly feeling things

Oooh, sounds like a good prompt!

I've finally came up with a bit of a timeline for this story, this takes place in 2016, so two years after series two's events, but a year before series three, so Hardy's been back for maybe a little over a year. He didn't stay away for long. I'm just mentioning this more as a reference to things for myself, but still.

On with the fic!

--

Bill should have been surprised to see DI Hardy sitting on the bench that Bill had unofficially claimed as his thinking spot, but really, with how they kept running into one another, he should have known better. He rolled his eyes and continued to walk to the bench, seeing the man in his ill-fitting suit.

Hardy didn't seem to notice him at all, he was sitting there with his eyes closed, and looked like he was sleeping, but Bill knew differently. The posture, the way he was breathing, the slight change in his facial expression from neutral to bothered was clear evidence he was awake.

And aware of Bill.

"Go away." Hardy said in that rough voice of his.

"No, I don't think I want to do that." Bill rolled his eyes again. "I came here to sit and eat my lunch, and I'm not letting some stick figure of a man tell me differently."

Hardy opened his eyes, turning to glare at Bill, before scooting down the bench. He returned to his previous position, someone trying to relax, but was clearly wound so tight that anything could make him jump from the bench and run.

"Thank you." Bill commented as he sat down with his take-out box, sitting it down between them. It was just fish and chips, that nice DS had recommended a place to him when he ran into her earlier in the day. At least she was trying to be nice to him, instead of watching him like he was a freak show attraction, thanks to that stupid article by that Olly guy, or ignore him completely, like he wasn't there at all.

Or, in the case of the man next to him, fight with him when given the chance.

He opened the container and pulled out a fry, popping it into his mouth. Alright, he had to admit, these guys over here knew how to make them delicious. He glanced out of the corner of his eye when he reached for another one, seeing that Hardy was looking at the container, his expression almost unreadable, but Bill knew better.

"You can have a fry or two, if you want." He said, catching Hardy's attention.

The man looked at him, before looking away. "Can't have it."

"Bull shit, I know you can. Not every day, of course, not with that ticker of yours, even with the pacemaker, but it doesn't hurt you to eat a few fries here and there. Go ahead, have one." He gestured to the container, where the warm food was sitting in tin foil.

Hardy looked at him, then took on, nibbling on the fry. Bill scoffed, smiling just a bit. "It's not poisoned, if that's what you're worried about. If it was, you'd have to blame the young man at the shop."

"I think his name's Wally." Hardy replied, grabbing a second one.

"Oh yes, that was what his name tag said." Bill mused. "Best you be careful of those young people, detective, you never can trust them. One minute, they're all smiles, the next, they're causing a scene! Why, I remember a patient once told me how she could never return to this one McDonald's she used to go to." He started, sneaking a look at Hardy out of the corner of his eye.

The man wasn't looking at him, but clearly he was listening, so Bill continued. "She said that the young lady behind the counter was always so chipper and nice to other customers, but when this woman would come up to the counter, the cashier would get all cold and sour! Being all, why are you here, go somewhere else, you can't be here! I'll have you thrown out!"

Hardy nodded, very clearly listening. "Any reason why? Previous bad customer service experience?"

"Oh no, turns out that the patient was the poor cashier's mother and she was embarrassed to see her at work."

There was a cough and Bill looked, surprised to see that Hardy was smiling, and then starting to laugh a bit, clearly caught off-guard by the answer. It was an honest-to-God laugh, something that Bill didn't expect to come from this man who looked like smiling hurt him.

For some reason, Bill felt a weird tightness in his chest as he watched the man try to compose himself. "Damnit, Masters, you can't just... you can't just say that so casually like that. God, sounds like something Daze would do if her mother or I ever entered where she worked."

He was still smiling, and it... honestly made him look a little younger, a little less weary of the world.

Bill looked away, coughing. "W-well, that's just how teenagers are, you know? Gotta be little shits."

"Tell me about it, tends to usually be the reason we get calls around here."

"Got a good story about any little punks giving you trouble?"

"I've got plenty, we'll be here all day."

"I'm fine with that."

[ikeromantic]

An Uncertain Alliance

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfic- this scene occurs at the start of Ch. 11 (romantic route- picking one was hard!). Approx 3000 words of fluff and stuff. 

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: Fox Hunt

Mitsuhide took a few more days in Kyoto to wrap up his business. He could have managed most with letters, but he wanted to be here for any reply from Mouri. The madman’s participation wasn’t a requirement to move forward, but his access to men and weapons would make life so much simpler. And it was an excuse to pamper his little mouse.

Not that he let her know that was his objective. To her it was just happenstance that their trip to visit an informant passed by a beautiful garden or a talented street performer. Or that the tea shop they stopped in surprisingly carried her favorite snacks. Her joy was Mitsuhide’s pleasure. He stored every memory of her delighted smiles and happy sighs. The look in her eyes when something took her breath away. 

And so he was almost disappointed the day the letter came, informing him Mouri would meet him at an upcoming festival in Kyoto. Mitsuhide didn’t want to discuss Mouri with his little one. Besides, he wasn’t sure what he could say that would do justice to the man and his reputation. So all he told her was that they’d be going to the festival together. 

It was a good location for a contact. Any city guards would be busy keeping order and no one there would likely know either of them on sight. Plus, the crowds would make it hard to get away with any violent double-cross. Still, it made him uneasy.

Meeting Mouri in a place he chose meant trusting there was no trap. And trusting Mouri was like expecting a rabid dog not to bite. Or, not to bite you anyway. 

“Are you worried about our mission,” she asked him as they walked through the crowded festival avenues. 

Mitsuhide glanced down at her and smiled. “No - not about our mission.” His little mouse looked as if she might squeak up again, so he added, “Let’s not think about it and just enjoy the festival together, hm?”

She frowned. “How can I not think about it? I mean, the sho-ah, shark-eyes, is planning our destruction as we speak!” 

“As we are planning his.” He stopped and faced her. “Right now, I am more interested in plotting a pleasant evening with you.” The half-truth stung, but he needed her to relax. To smile. To be his light. Because he knew he would do terrible, dark things still and without that balance, he would lose this sliver of peace they’d made together.

His little one blinked, surprised by the intensity of his response. “Oh. Well, that does sound nice . . .”

“Look,” Mitsuhide pointed toward a nearby food stall. “Candy sculptures.” The distraction worked as intended. Her gaze lit on the delicate confections, twisted around sticks into all kinds of shapes. 

She clapped her hands together in excitement. “They are so pretty! Can we get one?”

“We can get as many as you like,” he chuckled, letting her lead him to the stall. While she was ogling the display, he asked for two crane candies. Cranes were life-mates. Bonded from the moment they touched. He wasn’t sure she would understand the symbolism, but that was alright. 

Then they walked on, hand in hand, enjoying the sugary treat. 

“I’m glad you decided to bring me here,” she said after a moment.

“Well, it was you that reminded me humans - and kitsune - cannot go on without rest.” Mitsuhide watched her from the corner of his eye. She was finally smiling. Her small, pink tongue darted out to taste the candied crane. It made him want to kiss her. To taste the sugar on her lips, which would be far sweeter than the confection in his hand. He quite suddenly wished they were back in their room at the inn.

“Good.” She grinned over at him and bumped her hip against his leg. “So, why cranes? There were horses and dragons. Those colorful fish ones.”

A slight blush stained his cheeks as he realized she might have caught on to his choice. He cleared his throat. “Did you know that cranes mate for life?” He used the candy to ‘kiss’ her cheek. 

Her eyes went wide and her smile was soft and full of affection. She raised her candy up to give him a kiss on the lips. 

Mitsuhide took advantage of the moment to ‘kiss’ the crane back, which brought a rosy color to her cheeks too. The moment ended all too soon though. He saw the man they were here to meet approaching. Tall, and limned in red-lantern light that stained him blood-red. Motonari Mouri.

“Look,” he gestured toward the figure. “That is one of our potential allies. What lucky -”

“So this is the real reason we came to the festival. I knew it had to be more than a fun night out!” She looked up at him, eyes dancing. “You can’t fool me, kitsune.”

Mitsuhide smiled fondly. “I suppose not. But a nice evening with you is also part of the plan. This is just the part I didn’t mention earlier.”

Her gaze went back to Mouri. “Who is he? What does he do?”

“Hmm. I suppose you could call him an artisan of violence. A creatively murderous fighter. I almost shudder to think of the horrors awaiting anyone that crosses him.” Mitsuhide’s tone was playful, but he was deadly serious about Mouri. He wanted her to understand this was not a kind soul they were allying with, but a killer.

His little one nodded once, squaring her shoulders. She might have asked more, but Mouri was too close now for further conversation.

“I gotta say, Kyoto knows how to have a festival.” Motonari greeted them with his usual swagger. “Nice as it is, this place is gonna be yer funeral if I don’t like what ya got to say. Savvy?” He took in Mitsuhide with a wary glance and then looked to the chatelaine. Where his eyes lingered longer than necessary.

Mitsuhide felt his jaw twitch and did his best to restrain the reaction. 

His little one took a step back, her face going pale. This only encouraged Mouri. 

“Who’s yer little friend here, eh?” Motonari took a step closer to her, raising a hand as if he was going to touch her.

Mitsuhide stepped between them smoothly. “This is my fiancee.”

Motonari grinned wider. “You brought your little lady to parley. With me.” He laughed, a sound edged with madness. “I like a man that doesn’t respect the rules.”

The chatelaine poked her head around to look at Mouri. 

“My love, this is Motonari Mouri. I’m sure you’ve heard of him.” Which he was because he’d given her that lesson himself. 

“Of course.” She came out to stand beside him, putting her brave face on. “You conquered the whole south but . . . I thought you died?”

Mouri laughed again. “I gotta say, the best part o’ that introduction is the bit where yer eyes went wide with horror.” 

Mitsuhide did not appreciate the way Mouri’s gaze swept up and down his little mouse, or the rise of his brows as he tried - in his crude way - to flirt. “Yes, she is a delight isn’t she? Touch her and you’ll leave this meeting with one less hand.” A crude threat for a crude man . . . or so he rationalized.

“That so? Guess it depends on how many parts you plan ta leave behind.” Motonari threw back his head, laughing so hard he shook. 

The chatelaine interrupted with a polite cough. “If - if I may ask - how did you two meet?”

“Until recently, we were both in the service of Shogun Ashikaga Yoshiaki,” Mitsuhide replied. He didn’t want to give Mouri the opportunity to characterize their relationship, such as it was.

Motonari got control of himself in time to nod, adding. “I slipped out before Mitsuhide here. But I promised him a good bloodbath before I left.” He wiped a fleck of spittle from his lip. “So, out with it. Why’d you invite me to meet?” 

Mitsuhide watched Mouri slide his gloved hands into his jacket. He took out a pistol and spun it lazily, waiting for an answer. “Motonari, there’s no need to play coy. You know why I contacted you. You watched my little drama play out at Honnoji, from start to unsatisfying finish.” He pointedly did not look directly at the gun and kept his expression one of thin-lipped indifference.

“Mind-reader. No wonder people get so twitchy around you.” Mouri shrugged one shoulder, his eyes narrowing. “You want help killing the shogun.”

“Very much so.”

Mouri pointed the pistol at Mitsuhide. “Does it get drafty in that big empty space o’ yer head? I didn’t come here tonight to get disappointed!”

The chatelaine bit her lip and looked for a moment as if she might run. Mitsuhide could feel the way her body tensed, but she held still. 

All he did was raise an eyebrow. “Oh? What part of this disappoints?”

Motonari scoffed. “How ‘bout the whole damn thing? Tell ya what - I got one goal. Just one. And that’s ta get you and Kenshin. Shingen. Nobunaga. Hell, anyone worth a damn, into one big, bloody melee.” His lips twitched into a half smile. “If everyone’s not trying to kill each other, then it’s not much of a party!” 

He gestured at Mitsuhide with his gun. “Ya think I’m gonna waste my time with some small fry like the shogun? I should shoot you right here, right now, in place o’ asking fer an apology. In fact.” He stroked the unlit fuse.. “I think I will.” Mouri pressed the barrel against Mitsuhide’s head, digging the iron into his skin.

Mitsuhide knew his little one was contemplating some mad attempt to ‘rescue’ him and rather than reply to Motonari, he first looked at her. Waiting to see a slight nod that meant she understood she was to stay still. He had this handled. In fact, it was going better than he’d expected. Mouri was playing right into his hands.

“I see. You plan to leave the shogun free to roam, ensuring that your long dreamed of bloodbath remains only a fantasy.” Mitsuhide sighed. “I expected better from you.”

Mouri raised an eyebrow. His pistol didn’t so much as twitch.

“Surely you see it.” Mitsuhide waited a beat, then continued. “The shogun will never engage with Nobunaga - or any of his enemies - in open combat. If he did, he might lose. Instead he will seek to assassinate them, one at a time. Subtly. An accident here, a mysterious illness there. Until there are none left to take the field. No celebration. No battle. Only quiet, pathetic deaths. One enemy after another. Who knows, perhaps he would even target you.”

“I’m not afraid of him.” Motonari’s defiant reply was somewhat spoiled by the nervous way he licked his lips.

Mitsuhide smiled. “Of course not. But your bloodbath will be severely lacking when there is no one there to bleed. A good party requires . . . guests - does it not?”

Mouri chuckled. “Ya got a silver tongue. But it’ll be so much viscera on the paving stones when I pull this trigger.”

“Mhmm. I imagine parts of me would travel quite far. Perhaps spattering the food stall there, or some of those festival-goers.”

“They told me you were tricky, kitsune. But no one mentioned you were mad.” Motonari closed the distance between them until he was close enough to kiss. 

Mitsuhide stared into the depths of his red glare, imitating the madman’s own body language. Gold on scarlet glinted in the light of the festival lanterns in this space of tense silence.

Then Motonari started laughing. His breath smelled of sake and tobacco. “Alright. Ya got me. I’m in, just this once.” And he lowered his pistol.

Mitsuhide watched as the madman carefully wiped down the barrel and placed it back in the holster. His hand found the chatelaine’s icy fingers. He gripped her hand tightly. She was alright and so was he. The gambit had paid off.

“The only place I’ll let Nobunaga and the rest die is in a sea of blood and gunpowder. By my hand.” Motonari sounded certain as he said this. As sure as he would be telling them the sun would rise in the east.

“Then I believe we have a deal.” Mitsuhide knew the bargain would only last so long as Mouri saw the necessity of it. And stayed entertained. Hopefully they could locate the shogun quickly and be done with this.

Motonari gave a snort that might be agreement, then gestured to the candy Mitsuhide still held. “Say, why don’t ya treat yer new ally to some o’ that fancy candy, huh?”

“You . . . want candy?” Mitsuhide couldn’t help the ways his eyebrows rose. 

“Yeah. So run along and get some fer me. The lady an’ I will wait fer ya right here.” Mouri took a step toward the chatelaine. 

Mitsuhide didn’t need to be psychic to know what ran through his little mouse’s head. It was written in her face in large, panicked script. ‘Don’t leave me alone with this maniac!’ The kitsune thought fast. “I am sure I could deliver a better token of friendship to you at a later da-”

“I ain’t asking fer a better token o’ whatever.” His voice rasped and his hand moved toward the holster of his gun again. 

That was the problem with unstable allies. They couldn’t be relied on. Even the simplest things could set them off. Any situation could become a violent one at the drop of a pin. But what bothered Mitsuhide the most was this. There was only one reason for this particular request. Mouri wanted to be alone with the chatelaine. Why?

“Yer girl will still be here when ya get back.” Motonari smiled like a shark. A hungry one.

“Go ahead, Mitsu. Get him some candy. I’ll be fine.” She gave Mitsuhide an uneasy smile.

“I’ll be right back.” It made him feel ill to say it but Mitshide knew it would be better to go along with the madman than to fight him on such a small request. And besides, if he tried anything, the chatelaine would scream. Then, Mouri would lose more than his life. So it was reasonably safe to leave them for a few minutes.

Mitsuhide glanced back at them as he hurried away. Mouri was sitting beside the chatelaine now, almost close enough for his hip to touch hers. Bile surged in his belly. No one should be so close to his little mouse. No one but him. Just hurry up, he told himself. Hurry and get back.

He found a closer stall with the same kinds of candy and picked out a fish for Motonari. Then hurried back. His little one was smiling at the madman and Mouri looked . . . confused. Jealousy burned through his veins in a wave, and he almost ran the last few steps, shoving the stick of candy between the two of them. “There. Your candy. Now get away from her.”

The last sentence was almost a growl, and Mitsuhide couldn’t help the way he reached for his little one. Pulled her close. She was his, her smile and her laugh. Her kind eyes. Mouri deserved to be close to none of it. 

Even as the jealousy burned through him, a colder, more logical part of Mitsuhide scolded him for his rash behavior. This was not like him at all. This display. What did it hurt, even if Motonari was flirting with the chatelaine? Nothing, really. Except . . . except Mitsuhide didn’t want her to be anywhere near that madman. She could get hurt. Not just physically - but her heart and her sweet spirit. He had to protect her.

Motonari seemed unaffected as he took the stick of candy and popped it in his mouth. “There’s somethin’ wrong with yer lady friend. She’s crazier’n I am,” he said around the stick.

“There is nothing wrong with her. She is perfect.” The words were out before he’d even had time to consider his response. This was . . . odd. He never spoke without thinking. Never.

“That so? Cause from here it looks like her madness is contagious. Gettin’ worse from person to person.” He chomped down on the candy, crushing the spun sugar figure between his teeth.

Mitshide’s first instinct was to slap the sweet out of his mouth and break his teeth with a well-placed elbow. But he held himself still, rigid. His heart was beating fast and he felt hot - shaky. Acting now would be . . . ill-advised.

Motonari shook his head and stood up. He addressed the chatelaine. “Better hope yer man doesn’t get tripped up by his love-addled brain. If he does,” he took the candy out of his mouth and pointed toward her with the jagged, chewed end. “I’ll fall on you.”

This threat was more than Mitsuhide could stand still for. He pushed his little one behind him and grabbed the hilt of his sword. “You will stay away from her! If you take a step closer to her - now or ever - I will remove your head from your neck.” The words were a barely audible snarl.

If Mouri was worried about this, it didn’t show. He only smiled his shark-like grin. “Where’d your disguise go, kitsune? Your real face is showing now. Barking like a fox in a trap.”

Mitsuhide tried to get control of his breath. To push the murderous rage in his chest back down. To slide his mask back into place. 

From behind him, his little one hugged his back. “There’s nothing to worry about. My Mitsuhide won’t trip up.”

Motonari shrugged. “We’ll see.” Then he was walking away, swagger firmly in place.

Mitsuhide watched him go, and when he was out of sight, finally let go of his sword hilt. He was shaking. He turned to wrap his arms around his little one. Feeling her warm body pressed tight, the steady rhythm of heartbeat and breath, calmed him. She was here and safe and his. 

“Are you alright,” she asked, her voice muffled against him.

“Yes. I . . . I’m fine.” But he wasn’t. This was only the first of several dangerous meetings they would need to undergo in this quest to see the shogun taken down. There would be more meetings with Mouri and others. He had to find a way to control this - this response of his. Otherwise Motonari was right.

Next: Future-Speak

[secondhoekage]

Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore

They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?

Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.

The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 

To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious

under the cut tho bc damn this is too long

In this essay I will—

Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 

I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 

I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her

Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out

In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights

CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :

“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”

...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)

I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful

Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.

I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!

Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still

At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool

And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...

I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 

I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 

Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away

Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt

I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight