#i think ill be able to draw better than rn i need some sleeps

[plutoons]

OUUU for the drawing thing ... mayhaps a bushdog.... I love bushdogs ..........

hi !! and ooo yeah ofc.. i'll do these guys justice tmrw since rn im a bit tired so heres a warm up doodle

hope this lil guys alright for rn though.. I dont know mcuh about them (yet) but i love how they look, such fun guys

[hello-yue-here]

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

[haunted-by-catholic-guilt]

hey moon, please forget to fall down

*shows up after a month of nothing with starbucks* look its bad but its been in my WIP since august 

Tim woke up to a dull ache in his stomach.

He groaned, it was annoying but not so bad that it would affect his daily working, so he rolled himself out of bed, pausing only momentarily at the nausea he felt.

He ignored it, got up, and continued on his morning, eating only toast and drinking coffee, before getting dressed, which he found to be more painful than necessary, and left his apartment.

The commute to work was fine, maybe the lights were a little brighter then they had the right to be, and even the noises he heard were painful, somehow sharp and dull.

He got off at his stop, and made his way into the institute, putting on a fake smile and winking at Rosie as he walked to the Archives, before moving as fast as he could without causing the ache that has yet to subside to get any worse.

Jon was in, always was by the time he showed, but today Martin and Sasha were in too, must’ve been later than he thought.

He shrugged it off, and sat at his desk, not feeling well enough to even try to have a conversation, not that it would go well, the pain was distracting and lip-reading was never completely successful anyway.

A little while later, after he exchanged a quick and quiet greeting, Martin tapped him lightly on the shoulder and signed to him.

“Are you okay?”

Tim smiled, he knew he could tell Martin, but he didn’t want to worry anyone over something he knew was nothing, so he signed back

“Tired, I’m alright”

Martin didn’t look convinced but smiled softly at him.

“Ok, let me know if you need anything.”

Tim smiled and nodded back, and Martin shuffled back over to his desk, sharing a glance with Sasha Tim was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to see.

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Martin was worried, Sasha would say he was always worried, but it was different today.

Tim was quiet, his face was lined with pain, and his eyes weren’t quite as vibrant.

It was a little while later when Jon emerged from his office, his hair done in a bun at the base of his head, his cane tapping on the floor, Martin quickly and quietly grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Tim, hoping he’d get it before Jon made his way to their desks.

He didn’t, and before he knew it Jon was leaning against the door frame, observing them, they mostly pretended to work.

“Goodmorning, Jon! How’re you today”

Martin was trying to distract from Tim a little bit, hoping he’d be able to hear him enough to snap him into focus on Jon, but Tim seemed like he was in another world.

“Better if you were working.”

And with that Jon left, Sasha rolled her eyes and gave Martin a small smile, but he was more concerned about Tim.

He walked over to his desk and tapped him lightly again, it took a second but he came to and looked at Martin, his eyes were glassy and his face was pale.

“What’s wrong?”

Tim looked tired, and he sighed.

“Not feelin the best, nothin to worry about.”

Martin scanned over the other man's frame, before lightly pressing the back of his hand to Tim’s cheek, moving it to his forehead, before removing it and signing again.

“You’re burning up, what’s going on?”

Tim was pretty sure he whined at that point, if he admitted he was sick he’d need to go home and he would be alone.

He didn’t want to be alone.

Whenever he had fevers he would get emotional, he knew this, so when Martin brushed his finger on his cheek, he didn’t even know he was crying, and that only made him start crying harder.

He felt someone else touch his arm, and looked up to see Sasha, with a bottle of water in her hand, he shook his head, the nausea from earlier coming back in full force.

He took a breath, he wouldn’t be sick, couldn’t be.

“I’m fine, I can work, I’m fine.”

Martin frowned, but wasn’t backing down, signing again, this time more demanding, but somehow still soft.

“Go lay down, at least, for a little while.”

Tim knew this wasn’t a fight he could win, and Sasha already had grabbed onto his arm and began to pull him up, steadying him when he starting to fall, and Martin vanished off outside of the office.

Sasha laid him down on the old couch, and he curled as small as he could into a ball, and he opened his eyes enough to see Sasha squint at him with concern in her eyes.

Martin was there the next time he opened his eyes, he had a blanket on him now, and Martin was holding a thermometer, Tim opened his mouth and let Martin take his temperature, he didn’t hear what it was, and he last saw Martin sign rest before drifting off to sleep.

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Martin sighed, and sat back at his desk, Tim set up across the room with a blanket on a couch, a bucket next to his head, burning with fever.

It wasn’t hospital bad, but he also didn’t feel comfortable leaving Tim alone, and from Tim’s reaction, he didn’t want to be alone either.

Sasha had mentioned he looked like he was curling around his stomach, but stomach pain and fever could’ve been a number of things, and he thought it best not to worry about the what if’s.

“Martin, why is Tim sleeping on the couch.”

Jon was something he did need to worry about.

“He- uh- he wasn’t feeling well, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone or him taking the tube, and I didn’t think he wanted to be alone either, so he’s sleeping on the couch until after work”

Jon didn’t seem happy with this.

“If he is that ill he needs to be home, not infecting the whole staff.”

Martin was sure he was about to make more complaints and arguments but was cut off by Tim, whining quietly and stirring on the couch.

Martin got up and walked over, running a hand through Tim’s sweat-soaked hair as he tried to curl deeper into himself.

Sasha walked over to stand next to Jon, watching Martin in his natural habitat of caretaking, as Tim had called it.

“He can stay, just don’t get sick, and if he gets worse take him home, you better work overtime next week.”

And with that, Jon left.

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It was around two hours later that Tim started to get worse.

Martin was working quietly at his desk, finishing up notes on some statements, and tracking people down for research when he heard Tim start to cry.

He quickly made his way over to Tim, just as he did Tim heaved and weakly gripped the bin in front of him.

After he was done being sick, Martin lifted a water bottle to his lips, not wanting him to dehydrate further, and went to move back to work, but Tim grabbed onto his arm, with surprising strength for how sick he was.

Martin sighed, he needed to work, but he also knew that being sick was bad enough at home, let alone on an old couch at work.

He adjusted Tim and sat behind him on the couch, the other man immediately curled around Martin, still trying to make himself smaller, and he winced as he moved.

Martin frowned and grabbed his phone, not able to sign with Tim basically on his lap, and not thinking Tim would be willing to sign back at all, so he quickly opened his notes and started to type.

‘What’s wrong?’

Tim looked offended by the light in his eyes when martin showed him the message, but ultimately grabbed the phone weakly and typed back.

‘Stomach hurts bad’

Martin frowned, but set his phone down and started to run his hand through Tim’s hair.

Jon walked in a little while, and crept over to stand next to the old couch, his cane tapping gently, he quickly reached out and brushed his hand awkwardly on Tim’s forehead, and sighed.

“Take him home, and keep me updated on him.”

Martin was surprised by this, Jon had always tried to remain professional and distant, but he didn’t want to question or argue with him.

He stood up, Tim groaned at the movement, but after a little while of getting ready to go, they made their way slowly to Martin‘s car, where Tim immediately curled into his passenger seat.

He drove him to his flat, not planning on leaving him alone for a while, and when he got to his place, he gently shook Tim awake, and they slowly made their way up to the flat.

After he unlocked the door, he settled Tim onto the couch, and switched out his bedsheets, and carefully ushered Tim into the bedroom.

Tim settled into the bed with little prompting, and Martin tucked a fuzzy blanket around his shoulders, and he left the room to get a cloth and cold water.

He was returning to the bedroom when he saw Tim curled up into a ball, sobbing, he was biting his lip so hard martin thought it was drawing blood, he quickly set the water on the side table and immediately sat next to Tim on the bed.

He knew that getting Tim to watch him sign or read whatever he typed would not work and that Tim probably wouldn’t be able to process what he was saying, so he hoped his movements were clear enough.

Martin suspected he knew what this was, so after he had moved Tim so he was laying out, flat on his back despite the obvious pain this caused, Martin lifted the shorter man’s shirt and pressed his hand on to the lower right side of Tim’s stomach.

At that, Tim let out a cry of pain, and immediately curled back around himself, and Martin knew what the next step was- the hospital.

First, he decided, he needed to tell Sasha and Jon, both had been worried, and they should know what was going on

Archival Gayng

Milk Kartin Blackwood- hey just so you two know im taking tim to AnE

Braincell Holder- What? Is everything okay? Do you need me to meet you there?

Bossman- Why does he need to go to AnE?

Martin Kartin Blackwood- i think he may have appendicitis but im not sure

Braincell Holder- Shit

Braincell Holder- I’ll meet you there

Boseman- Doesn’t appendicitis mean he will need surgery?

Martin Kartin Blackwood- yeah, i know that is more time off, but jon he is sick i don’t really care rn

Bossman- I don’t care about that right now.

Bossman- I care that my friend and employee might need surgery.

Bossman- Sasha, you’re still at the institute right? Can I come with you?

Braincell Holder- Of course, Jon, meet me outside in five. Martin, bring Tim to the hospital.

Martin Kartin Blackwood- ok

Martin sighed, and carefully maneuvered Tim in his arms so his head was tucked into the other’s neck and carefully grabbed the blanket that was around Tim and repositioned it over him again.

He quickly slipped on his shoes and grabbed the keys, and carried Tim out to his car where he once again curled into the passenger seat, his hands clutching his stomach.

Martin bit his lip as he got into the driver’s seat and started the drive to the hospital, it didn’t take long and when he got their, Sasha and Jon were standing in front of her car, Jon fidgeting with his hands and Sasha typing rapidly on her phone.

When he pulled in and was spotted, they immediately rushed over to where he parked and approached Martin anxiously as he got Tim out of his car, and immediately began to flutter around, trying to help.

By the time they had gotten Tim into the waiting room, Sasha and Martin began answering the questions on the sheet, and Jon sat quietly next to Tim and rubbed slightly awkward circles on his back when he curled over in pain.

When Tim was ushered into an exam room, Martin went with him, the others in the waiting room, and after some time, the doctor shared his suspicion, and he was taken away to a CT scan to get a confirmation.

After some time, the suspicion was confirmed and he was taken to surgery, and Martin was walked back out to the waiting area, left to explain the situation to Jon and Sasha.

Jon started to pace ten minutes after Tim had been taken back, and after another five of pacing, Sasha finally spoke up.

“Jon, are you alright?”

Jon stopped pacing and sighed.

“I’m just worried about Tim…”

Martin set his large hand on Jon’s shoulder, and the smaller man seemed to lean into it.

“It’ll be okay Jon, Tim is healthy, and appendicitis isn’t normally deadly if caught on time.”

Jon sank down on a squeaky hospital chair next to Sasha, and put his head in his hands, running a shaking hand through his hair.

“I know, I know, I just..”

He groaned, again, and Martin had to take a second to take it all in, Jon looked so incredibly.. different?

So far from the normal painfully professional and emotionless self he showed at the office, and Martin was then reminded that he was the odd one out here, he didn’t work in research with Tim, Sasha, or Jon.

He sighed and tried to push down the cold feeling that crept up his spine, and ignored the fact that he swore he could see fog seeping into the room from a closed door.

He sat on the chair next to Jon, and they all sat silently and waited.

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When Tim woke up, all he was aware of was the pain in his side.

He groaned and quickly moved his hand to cover it, but was stopped by the feeling of a tug in his arm, and a hand on his shoulder.

He pried open his eyes to see a worried Sasha looking down at him, but with the worry managed to be relief as well, and that was when the last twenty-four hours came back to him.

He sighed and pushed himself carefully into a sitting position, Sasha worriedly helping him, and he looked over and saw Martin asleep against the wall, and Jon leaning into him.

He was still tired and hurt, but he knew he would be taken care of, so he let himself fall asleep to Sasha helping him lay back down and running her hands through his hair.

[standfortheangels]

What song makes you feel better?what’s your favorite candle scent?what flower would you like to be given?say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).what calms you down?what’s your ideal date?how are you?what’s your comfort food?do you still love stuffed animals?what’s something you do to de-stress?hugs or hand-holding?morning, afternoon or night?what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)? [for mun

What song makes you feel better?

Ooo, this really depends on a lot of stuff. But weirdly, one song I go to a lot is Tubthumping by Chumbawumba. The names really tell you the vibe of the song >w>' it's silly- too silly to really take much seriously when you're listening to it, so it gradually cheers me up that way. But it's mostly the chorus bit that does it.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! You are never gonna keep me down!"

Repeated over and over again with pride and happiness like a football chant.

It's the kind of mood that's just infectious, it's a crowd celebrating something, enjoying where and who they are. Pair that with the message in those lines, and, I dunno. It just really helps me~

_

what’s your favorite candle scent?

Oh this one is tough. My sense of smell isn't that great, usually I can smell a candle if I pick it up and sniff it, but when it's lit I don't tend to smell anything. There are very few candles I can light and smell in the room. So I tend to just pick candles based on colour tbh x'D

One thing I do love though is oil diffusers. A few drops of violet essential oil in the water, it comes out as steam, makes the place smell really nice.

_

What flower would you like to be given?

Aww, that's a cute one~ I'd love to be given any flower really, but if I have to pick... I'd say a sunflower. I think it'd be really funny to have someone pull this giant flower from behind their back and hand it over. X')

_

Say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

That's six! You can't fool me there >w> buuuuut fine.

Physical: I like my eye colour, I've got a general hourglass shape that I like, and I'm told I have very comfortable shoulders to lean on? Haha

Non-physical: I'm fairly intelligent, have a lot of patience when I need it, and I'm pretty weird, which is often funny for other people x')

_

What calms you down?

If I'm anxious, I have a few apps on my phone I can use that usually help. 'What's Up' is a great one, it has different tools you can use like grounding exercises and retargeting your thoughts and stuff. I also have games on there like Zen Koi and Alto's Odyssey, which I find relaxing. They're not too complicated to manage but they do grab my attention and have chill music on them.

If I'm calming down from being angry.... Dogs. I find if a dog comes up to me for a hug or something, I have to relax my muscles more, I have to be gentle with them and reassure them that it's all okay, it's like a conscious effort I make for their sake. So it puts a stop to my stressing out long enough for me to just start enjoying the fact that I have a dog. ^^

_

What’s your ideal date?

Ooo good question...

At the minute I can't really date at all with my health being this bad, so I'd probably go for a casual date where we play a low-pressure game together at home. I'm talking battleship, tetris, any Super Mario game that has a multiplayer feature, Snipperclips, Jenga, Wii tennis, anything. Just us chilling, having a little bit of playful rivalry maybe, a few healthy snacks~ that would be awesome. Some of these games we could even play from two separate places with a video call going, which would mean I wouldn't have to push myself to host or leave the house or even force myself to shower in advance; I could even stay in bed and just prop myself up with some pillows if I really needed to, take a laptop and we could go play something online maybe.

In the future though (because I really hope I'll improve eventually and get some of my life back) I'd still love the more casual fun dates, but not stuck inside. I'd love to go minigolfing and be terrible at it so we can both laugh at my awful shots, and I'll do some hopeless ironic trash talk and then lose by a mile~

I'd like to have a dog we can walk together. We could go to a quiet beach, which will probably be cold and muddy because it's England but we'll let the dog loose and smile at how much fun they're having, maybe play fetch or something, and then at the end be so so grateful that we thought to put old towels over the back seats of the car for our very very happy, very very very wet dog~

It'd be fun to go to a theme park together, or walk around a garden centre and plan out a garden we'll probably never get around to. Or a zoo! That'd be a great date place, a zoo, or SeaWorld, both are good.

I'd like to go for ice cream and sit on some random grassy bank to eat it together. To go to an art gallery with a camera and most of my photos would just be of my date seeing something she likes~ maybe I could even take a sketchbook too, and I could draw her in the styles and/or poses of whichever pieces she wants me to, while she poses in ridiculous funny ways and makes me laugh so much that I have to stop and then we move to the next room.

I've been too ill for too long and had so much emotional crap in my life, I wouldn't choose the rigid restaurant dates with all the same rules and the pressure, or strive to try and be the most romantic couple or whatever else.

For me, what I'd value most is being able to get out of the house and enjoy the world, and having a date with a light-hearted atmosphere.

_

How are you?

Tired as always! X') but for real, today has actually been okay. The last few days have been really rough pain-wise, but it hasn't been quite as bad today, so hopefully it'll ease off back to normal from here~ I've also been pretty productive in the last two days so I'm very happy with myself rn ^^

_

What’s your comfort food?

I have a couple! Chocolate, of course, is a classic one (chocolate peanuts in particular are something I reach for for comfort). And also, a hot pasta-based meal like lasagna or, heck just pasta in a nice sauce will do. Those meals are more like the comfort of being warm and homely, the kind of thing I might love if I were really tired and feeling sorry for myself, while chocolate peanuts are the "I'm upset so I'm eating my feelings" food. X')

_

Do you still love stuffed animals?

Of course! I don't have tons all over my bed purely because it's inconvenient, but I do keep two huge ones- a dog and a shark- on top of my wardrobe, and my littlest childhood friend is always in my room somewhere~

His name is Scruffy, and right now he's sleeping in my crystal box (open) on top of all the empty velvet bags. ^^ I used to take him everywhere, cuddle him every night as a slept.. he usually smelled pretty gross because I never wanted to give him up to be washed, haha X) thankfully he doesn't have that problem now~

_

What’s something you do to de-stress?

This might sound lame but, jigsaw puzzles. It has to be real ones, at the table with some music in my headphones. If I can't do that for whatever reason, I go to the bathroom and run cold water over my wrists for a minute or two, over the veiny side. It's kind of a mini cleansing ritual. I sometimes combine that with some deep breaths and imagine the water is literally washing the stress out of me, and it really does help. It's something I can do quickly and easily, I can just do it while or after washing my hands or something and that's that~

_

Hugs or hand-holding?

Hmm... prolonged, I'm not a huge fan of either? Eventually if you're holding hands it's like, when do you let go? What if your hand gets warm and clammy, or sweaty? Same with like a cuddle. Once you're in it, how do you say "hey I'm kind of uncomfortable now, this physical contact has gone on too long"? You don't want to be rude, and it might be hard to explain, so you've probably got to blame on being too warm even if you're not, and then that's a lie, and.. it's just awkward.

A regular hug though, that's okay. It can last longer than usual and still not be a problem, because at least, you know, you won't be hugging for half an hour, at some point soon you'll let go. And it feels nice, you know? From someone I care about and trust anyway~ it's like a physical way of saying "I love you" and it's nice to have someone's arms holding you, to wrap yours around them and just hold them tight.. you both feel warm inside and secure and wanted. I wouldn't be keen on a hug from a stranger or an acquaintance, even a new-ish friend. But someone who's close to me? All the hugs. Give me the hugs, let me hug you back, many many hugs. X)

_

Morning, afternoon or night?

Night! Actually I love those really early mornings, you know when the air still has that kind of... Crispness to it. That is amazing. But I'm never awake for that anymore.

(^▽ ^;)ゞ

_

What reminds you of home?

Thunderstorms, loud planes overhead, chinook noises, soft hugs when I'm upset, mum's cooking, pictures of our old dog Harvey, little fluffy dogs running about.

Most of this is easy to figure out I'm sure, but I do want to talk about the first couple.

Until the age of 11 my family lived on a military air base, so there were always big planes taking off and landing, and I really do mean always. We learned the difference between some of them by sound. I could be sat at home and we'd hear one and know, that had to be a Herc landing (landing always sounded different to taking off), or a teacher would have to stop talking at school to let one go by, and everyone knew that one was a VC10. (VC10s are the LOUDEST thing I have ever heard to this day. I'd probably still recognise one now~)

We also saw and heard Chinooks a lot. Now for anyone who doesn't know, those are the weird helicopters that have two... Fan parts? I don't actually know what they're called. X') (I looked it up, they're called rotors!) They kinda look like the bit of a retro telephone that you'd pick up and hold to your face.

Now having two rotors means that they can carry a Lot of weight, but it also means they don't sound like normal helicopters do. The two rotors are timed out so that the blades from each side can go through the same middle space without hitting each other, Left blade then right blade then left then right then left, and you can kind of hear it happening. Instead of the kind of 'Wubbubbubbubbubbub' of normal helicopters, a chinook sounds more like 'Wokka wokka wokka wokka'.

Where I am now, we only hear some small jets once a week at most when they take practice flights, and sometimes a normal police or ambulance helicopter. It took me a long time to get used to the quiet of most places, and sometimes I miss all the overhead noise we had back then.

And we got so many thunderstorms! Every single summer, usually at night. Now that I think about it the pollution from all the aircraft might have been involved in this too. >w>" But I loved it. We'd all gather in mum's room and open the curtains wide to watch. My little sister was scared of thunder back then so it was better for her to have people around and to make it fun. I was always just excited! And I still get that way if I hear thunder now~

[lovestillaround]

Thoughts about Phil’s last video (Draw My Life: Part 2)

So, it’s been two days and I still have trouble processing all the information from Phil’s newest video - that’s why I’m writing my thoughts down, hoping that it will give me more inner peace. Disclaimer: following text includes critique of the video, so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff/ not in the mood for hearing my negative opinions, please proceed with caution or stop reading. Love ya <3

So, Phil starts the video saying that he’s aware that we know what’s been mostly going on in his life during the last six years and that he’s gonna share with us all the behind the scenes facts. And that on itself is fine, but oh boy, nothing would prepare me for the amount of negativity that I was going to endure (and no, I’m not talking about the subjects of death and illness). I said it to my friend and I still stand by that opinion - the video was for me more like “20 minutes of complaining about/listing every bad thing that happened in my life” than actual “draw my life”. And well, obviously Phil has the right to reflect on his life in whatever way he wants, but as I was watching the video, I couldn’t help getting more and more frustrated with his lack of awareness, especially regarding the massive privilege that he has and has always had. (Also, I’m not trying to call him out for being rich and being able to afford things that I can’t afford - that’s not at all what this is about, it’s about the attitude and the way he chose to speak about those things).

While I do think that the video was full of lovely and cute moments, I’m going to focus mainly on what I found annoying or upsetting, just to keep it (relatively) short. So, I was talking about how in my opinion the video was filled with negativity. You might ask - where is it, Daria? Or more importantly - why is it bad? The response to the video is (at least from what I saw) overwhelmingly positive. Well, I’ll try to explain how I see it.

The video literally starts with Phil saying that London was (is?) 5x more expensive than Manchester, and that if their career in London didn’t work out, they would have had to move back to their parents. I have enough compassion to understand that it must have been hard for them to feel insecure about their finances (I know this feeling damn too well) - but I also think that people should, idk, be generally aware that their actions have consequences? They took a risk, and it was hard to live in uncertainty - I get that - but people having to live with their parents is a reality for so many people! So many young people don’t even get a chance to start an independent life, for various reasons. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have the right to talk about his struggles - just for me, in the light of the rest of the video that is played on a similar note, it becomes clear that Phil isn’t aware of how much luck he’s had in life and how he has already started his life from a much better position than - can I say that? - probably the majority of people. So for me, what lacks in the video is, idk, maybe just one instance where he acknowledges his privilege? Or just generally him using a different language while talking about his experience, choosing his words more carefully, but I’ll get to that later.

The negativity continues when Phil talks about how he could not work out how to operate the radio control panel, how it was a bad decision to say yes to everything (although I admit, this one is just Phil acknowledging sth that he has learned over the years, which isn’t really negative but let’s still keep it on the list of bad things), anxiety, lack of sleep, stress, juggling responsibilities, people that they used to work with getting more from dnp than dnp did from them, dnp doing things out of obligation, not being able to fully create things how they wanted to, people being cynical about youtubers doing projects/not understanding youtube and media’s negative reactions, loads of office work, risking all their life savings to go on tour, heteronormativity of the interviewers, lots of work related to creating gaming channel videos, overworking themselves during gamingmas, frustration with people not realising how much work happens behind the scenes, people cancelling projects, losing money because of Manila. 

On the other hand, the positives that Phil talked about were getting job at the radio, getting 1 million subs, interviewing people being a cool thing, everything about his relationship with family was very positive, getting a new team of people to work with and dropping some responsibilities like the radio show, success of the books and tours and games they created, creative freedom, positive relationship with his audience, improvement of the press over the years and people in traditional businesses becoming aware of what youtube is, creating and expanding irl merch, having fun on tour. 

Then comes the moment when I got genuinely quite confused, aka the moment when Phil talks about not having a life. Like.... really? He has every right to feel what he feels but honestly, not that many people would count themselves lucky enough to be in a long term relationship, having a loving family, four friends that want to hang out with them, going out to dinner dates and cinemas on the regular, regularly going on vacations, being able to take private yoga or boxing lessons etc. 

When I heard him saying “and I didn’t do any normal stuff people do, like getting a house or a dog”, that’s the point when I’ve lost all my hope. Like, I’m sorry Phil, but are you really gonna complain about not having time to get a house because of the life choices that you’ve made? Just… think about it. I’m not an expert on the standard of life in the UK but I personally can think of exactly zero people that I know who bought a house in their 20s. And I have to say, it’s upsetting that he seems to be so detached from what is the reality for many many people. 

Sharing personal stuff on the internet requires courage and I don’t want to be the one who takes all this knowledge and uses it against him. But I’m genuinely upset with the way he handled things this time. As I was watching the video for the first time, at the end of it all I could think was - wow, you’re really that entitled, aren’t you?

And it makes me sad, because I see two possible reasons for him being like that:

a) He is not in the best place mentally, so that he can only really focus rn on the negative aspects of his life, regretting his past choices, being disappointed in how his personal life looks like. This could be supported the fact that for basically any major thing that happened in his life he decided to share with us and elaborate mostly the negative details attached to it, rarely the positive ones (see the list of positive and negative things that I included above). 

b) He is completely unaware of what’s the average threshold for a “good quality life”, and he’s not aware of his own privilege. 

To elaborate a bit more on the point b): one could see Phil’s video as maybe a reminder that everything comes with a prize and that even though a youtuber’s life might seem super easy, there’s still a lot of stress and work involved that we just don’t see. But… I’ve been aware of that. Nobody’s life is one-dimensional, and everyone has struggles. And of course they have to edit their videos and do the business stuff. But when Phil says how he sometimes wishes people were aware of his personal struggles, I can only think that this is the reality for many many people, not only celebrities on the internet. Idk, maybe I just wasn’t the target of this whole segment in the first place, but for me it sounds borderline patronising, and again, entitled, because as I mentioned, everyone has their own struggles.

But for me, Phil doesn’t seem to be aware that he was only able to make some of the life choices that he’s made because he already had a good start in life in the first place. He’s always had a safety net in form of his parents, so he could make a choice of risking everything and moving to London for example. And yes, coming back home and asking his parents for money could have been embarrassing for him and emotionally hard, but so many people could not take such risk, or any risk, in general! Because they have families that they need to take care of. Because they have not enough money to move to an expensive city, no matter the circumstances. Because they have no one left who would help them financially if something went wrong. And so many other reasons!

On one hand, I can empathise with his frustration. I know how it is to work my ass off just to be able to go to uni, while many people that I know get money from their parents, go to a couple of lectures and then party/do nothing really. And then having other people thinking that everything is easy for me because idk I’ve always had good grades so according to them I don’t need to work as hard. Is it frustrating? Yeah. It’s hard to be misunderstood, or having your work belittled. But I would never blame other people for not being aware of how much work comes with the lifestyle that I’ve chosen. And I’m aware that dnp were working their asses off to create good things for us, but also, obviously, they were hoping to make financial profit out of it. It might sound awful but they did not have to do most of those things. In many instances, they totally did not have to overwork themselves, because it was not like they were making money to survive, they were making money just to make more money, basically. Nothing evil in wanting to make money but honestly Phil, most people work super hard, and they don’t get millions for it. While I do acknowledge that they’ve been working hard, and that a part of their audience might have not been aware of that, I think that complaining about that seems quite… inconsiderate? Complaining about the lack of private life seems inconsiderate too, especially because most people aren’t privileged enough to just decide to put their work aside and focus on their private life whenever they want. Many people I know are overworking themselves too, simply because they don’t have another choice. 

So, I’m quite upset. I don’t know what my point is. It seems to me like in that video Phil comes from a place of deep frustration, and well, I’m frustrated too. Fair game, I guess?

I want them to have a good life. I want them to do whatever the hell they need to do in order to be happy, I want them to get a goddamn dog and a house. But I also hope they’ll continue to grow, and that maybe next time Phil will be more considerate, and more careful with words.

[pennywise-chenle]

50 Questions Tag

Letsgetit✊🏼

1. What takes up too much of your time?

P: Watching kpop mvs, listening to kpop, watching kpop broadcasts, watching kpop interviews, watching kpop- yeah you get it

K: anything that isn’t productive tbh

2. What makes your day better?

P: If I get to eat dark chocolate🤤

K: nct 🤩 they’re such crackheads I love them (also when my friends hype me up)

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

P: Pressed shuffle on my phone, the first song that came up was CLC’s No (it’s really good, highly recommend)

K: I ate two eggs

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

P: Marvel or DC universe? But maybe just visit for like a week I don’t think I could handle a new super villain popping up every week

K: the Harry Potter verse,, wielding magic sounds pretty cool

5. Do you give good advice?

P: I think I do sometimes, but rarely do I ever actually listen to it

K: only when I’m knowledgeable about the topic/have experienced it before. Other than that no lol

6. Do you have a mental illness?

P: not one I am consciously aware of...

K: nope

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

P: No, never

K: not that I remember.. I do however have a weird recollection of dreaming about bert and ernie from Sesame Street shuffling around my room when I was like 4 (lmao I just laid there in bed and watched them in the semi-darkness it was freaky)

8. What musician inspired you the most?

P: Oh god uh Sunmi because she is an artist in every sense of the word and Ateez’s Hongjoong because of his work ethic and dedication

K: this is going to sound weird but Johnny from nct. his confidence and perspective on life is something that I look up to and respect (also I feel like he’s pretty hardworking cause dam 9 years as a trainee)

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

P: with myself, love yourself babies you deserve it🥰😤✊🏼🌸

K: Me and wonhos man tiddies are in a very committed relationship rn

10. What’s your dream date?

P: Oh you know nice walk on a beach, watching movies cuddled up on a couch~

K: we’re def hitting the arcade, eating out at a nice restaurant, and if they’re also into art we could draw/paint together 🤩

11. What do others notice about you?

P: My hair and the way I look, I’ve been told (even by my own mother) that I look intimidating which I DONT GET

K: poeple comment on my deadpan humor 💪

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

P: Procrastinating and then having to go to sleep later than I need to

K: turning off my alarm in the morning and oversleeping

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

P: Yeah- every morning in the mirror, late at night when the procrastination has become too much, etc

K: I’ve stopped playing otome games

14. How many exes do you have?

P: one

K: none 😎

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

P: I have one playlist and it currently has 416 songs in it

K: 716 (I also have only one playlist)

16. What instruments can you play?

P: I’m pretty good at playing the recorder

K: I used to play the flute and piano

17. What do you have the most picture of?

P: kpop memes :)

K: memes 😔

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

P: Greece, Australia, SoUtH KoReA

K: Japan, Maldives, Europe

19. What’s your Zodiac?

P: I’m living that Sagittarius life

K: Libra

20. Do you relate to it?

P: yes? But I’m also a cusp so I’ve been told that I have Scorpio qualities🦂

K: yeah but I’m not “social” I’m like the opposite of that

21. What is happiness to you?

P: We going✈️ deep hours -being content with where you are in the moment and being able to smile for any reason

K: unabashedly being yourself while doing things that you love

22. Are you going through anything right now?

P: I’m going through something new everyday, but recently it’s been questioning my future

K: aren’t we all tho,, that’s the essence of life

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

P: I can’t say it’s the worst but the most glaringly bad decision I’ve made is not taking history earlier cause now I have to take it during the summer🙃

K: not being assertive enough

24. What is your favorite store?

P: probably ulta💄

K: Hollister lol

25. What is your opinion of abortion?

P: Well that escalated quickly- to each their own, if that’s the choice you take you should be able to make it

K: if u can’t properly support the baby why subject it to that type of life?

26. Do you have a bucket list?

P: Travel the world I guess

K: id like to hone my artistic skills

27. Do you have a favorite album?

P: Hell yeah, Ateez’s Treasure: All to Zero and Zero to One album (Say My Name, Treasure, and HALA HALA are BOPS)

K: EXO’s EX’ACT album

28. What do you want for your birthday?

P: To be acknowledged😪, no but my birthday often falls on Thanksgiving so it’s like me vs. turkey day

K: a macbook

29. What are most people’s first impressions of you?

P: I kinda already talked about this but intimidating

K: extremely quiet 🦶 it’s the biggest thing about me that I wish I could change

30: What age do you seem according to people?

P: I don’t actually know, but I will always be 5 in my own eyes

K: yo I actually have no idea

31. Where do you keep your phone while you are sleeping?

P: Next to me charging which is probably dAnGeRoUs

K: across the room so I can attempt to get my ass out of bed when my phone alarm goes off (spoiler alert: it doesn’t work)

32. What word do you say the most?

P: My daily vernacular is just littered with “yeehaw” and “oh my god” and “hahah”

K: “dude” and “like”

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

P: Probably 3 years older than me

K: depends but nothing extreme

34: Whats the youngest age you would date?

P: Anyone more than 1-2 years younger than me is a no-go

K: same answer as the last question

35: What job/career do most people say would suit you?

P: A psychologist

K: art-related career

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

P: kpop and alternative

K: R&B, hip hop, lofi, kpop

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

P: I don’t actually know, I would need to do a comprehensive search of all my options

K: ^^^

38. What is your current favorite songs?

P: Say My Name by Ateez, Noir by Sunmi, Thrilla Killa by VAV, Victory Song by Stray Kids, Beautiful by Monsta X, and Yestoday by NCT U

K: Don’t Hang Up by Suran, Light by ATEEZ, Trauma by EXO, Home by BTS, V by Jay Park

39. How long have you had this blog for?

P: Since late November I think?

K: ^^^

40. What are you excited for?

P: I got tix to see Monsta X!!🤠

K: school ends soon 🤠 can’t wait for summer letsgetit

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

P: Neither, I’m just a mess all around

K: listener, but if I’m comfortable enough around the other person I become a lot more talkative

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

P: I ate breakfast

K: I petted my dog

43. What do you want for Christmas?

P: That’s too far in the future man, idk

K: a macbook

44. What class do you have the best grades in?

P: French and Anatomy

K: art (does that count?) and Physics

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

P: Like a 7, it’d be a 9 but I have some projects that I need to finish :(

K: 6 cause I have so much work that I need to finish

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

P: Getting swol💪🏼😤

K: managing an empire of meme accounts

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

P: We going ✈️sad hours- when someone very close to me passed away

K: I actually don’t know if I’ve ever had a proper heartbreak

48: What age do you want to get married?

P: I don’t plan on getting married I’m gonna live forever

K: it depends honestly

49. What career did you want as a child?

P: You know the usual- actress, singer

K: a doctor/ smth health-sci related

50. What do you crave right now?

P: A full 8 hours of sleep

K: more free time to watch my kpop boys

P: Wow that was a lot of self reflection

Thank you for tagging us @jenoration !

Sorry if you’ve already been tagged, but we tag-

@lushnct @ed3en @softforseo @renminculture @crackteez @jaeminjubescrack

[taxikun]

2019 - Personal

Wow it’s been a year since I made my 2018 personal post! I went through a lot of ups/downs last year but overall, the changes have been positive. But first I want to address what I have accomplished in 1 year.  --- - My mental health is better - I no longer have daily headaches - I feel like my life has more purpose and drive - I feel like I’ve been freed - My physical health is better - Still have insomnia but am sleeping more and better than when I was in school - Stopped having random stomachaches - My mood is better in general (still have downs but yknow) - I wake up excited to get up when I have work scheduled - I have traveled to Texas, Georgia, Chicago, New York, Nevada, and Michigan for conventions - I learned more about art/business/life in general! - I learned a lot about myself through my journeys/relationships whether good or bad.  - My artwork has improved - I drew a lot more!!!  - I have put out 99 pieces of new merch (yes, I keep track)! - Some of which are original pieces! I released 2 original T-Shirts <3 - I made 3 cosplays (2 of which are half done though lol)  - I got into doing makeup and am still a total noob so my foundation doesn’t match my neck LOLLL  - I got into fashion too and it gives me joy to coordinate!  - I worked on making a game with 2 of my closest friends (we’re on hiatus rn though) - I took time off for myself to draw/play games/bond with others.  Yep! There’s also a long list of things I wasn’t able to accomplish still but I am working on them at my own pace and maybe they’ll appear in 2020′s What I Accomplished Last Year List. I think I already covered a lot in terms of improving myself and my environment and I am going to say I did well (pats self on back). There were also rough patches here and there but they tend to be really personal so I won’t be sharing them. :^P  --- And with 2018 ended, I’m starting 2019 with a huge change in my life. I am moving out of my parent’s house to live on my own with my partner/bf Ichi! It’s a scary and exciting step but we will be signing lease papers this weekend and will start the moving process soon.  For 2019, I don’t really have a new year’s resolution but things I do want to do for this year: - Live more unapologetically - Exercise - Cook more - Finish DR2 finally - DR3 (Most likely watch LS but maybe play) - Finish Persona 4 finally - Play Persona 3 - give ace attorney games another try. i loved the game but the trials were too scary for me (fyi it took me 2 years to get thru DR1 and i never finished P4 because of THAT ONE dungeon entrance!!!! I JUST CANT!!!! IT'S TOO SCARY) - basically play all the terrifying games i always wanted to play/finish!!! it'll be okay after i move because then ill have someone to sleep next to at night LOL It’s not that crazy because just the first 3 are a lot for me and I don’t want to overwhelm myself. I’ll slowly become the adult I want to become ^_^)b I hope anyone who is going through a tough time will make the changes they need to make because it IS possible. It’s reallyyy f*cking hard and takes years (I MEAN. YEARS!) but if you try actively, you will make a change over time. Maybe sometime I’ll share more about my story but I honestly don’t feel ready for that yet U_U;;  Thank you for reading! I wish your 2019 to be a good one!

[linos-teeth]

i got tagged

in the 50 questions and the about me tag by @chngbok ty browse!! these are a lot of questions and idk who i want to bother with them (unless you wanna be bothered then consider yourself tagged) but in case you wanna know some random stuff abt me there’s a lot of that under the cut!

what takes too much of your time?

currently, fic writing for sure

what makes your day better?

uhhh ideas, music, skz (except lino bc he literally just makes me cry)

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

lino in the victory song dance practice? (wow there's a theme already)

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmmmm the arbor wilds, the crossroads, the forge, h-047c, watford

are you good at giving advice?

nah

do you have any mental illness?

uhhhh not theoretically (as in not diagnosed oops)

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

luckily not

what musician inspired you the most?

boy i rly can't say, usually it's writers or games that inspire me and music not so much?

have you fallen in love?

most likely yeah

what’s your dream date?

idk man surprise me like...going out exploring and doing things i haven't done before that don't include any drugs or stuff also movies are good

what do others notice about you?

my hair (it's long)

what is an annoying habit that you have?

biting my uh...the skin next to my nails? and my lips? i guess?

do you still talk to your first love?

ha nah

how many ex’s do you have?

zero

how many songs are in your playlist?

i have 685 deezer faves

what instruments do you play?

piano, idk if recorder counts, used to play the oboe but...not any more

who do you have the most pictures of?

myself XD, my da/me chars, also random idol pictures for reaction memes

where would you like to go before you die?

uhhhhh a lot of places like...there's a lot of cities in europe i still wanna see and i wanna go back to paris and london and i also would love to visit like 294503 national parks in the us also maybe a desert (bc stars) and somewhere far north (for northern lights)

what’s your zodiac?

scorpio

do you relate to it?

nope

what is happiness to you?

just like...a content feeling? like...idk words for it but when you just stop and go like fuck this is rly good i'm rly comfy rn and not sad??? like just being good in your own skin?

are you going through anything right now?

not more than usual

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i made a few sucky time management decision throughout my uni time and still am so i guess that

what’s your favorite store?

what's a store

what’s your opinion on abortion?

i don't rly think i get to say much abt it while i'm not in a position where i can talk yknow? you should be allowed to but i imagine it's tough as shit too

do you keep a bucket list?

nah

do you have a favorite album?

A FEW there's wildness by snow patrol and mania by fob and wild world by bastille and miroh (that's currently tho that shit changes a lot)

what do you want for your birthday?

my birthday isn't happening for a while and what i want i kinda need before so xD for my birthday i wish i could be with my family but i won't be able to :/

what are most people’s first impression of you?

uhhhhh awk i guess which is right, also rly smart and like...organised which is wrong

what age to you seem according to most people?

apparently like 16, i always get asked when i finish school

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my bed next to my pillow, stuffed under some plushies

what word do you say the most?

idk honestly i don't talk much probably some expletive

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk man i'm not rly attracted to ppl much older than me never have been if it ever happened they'd prolly be like 2 years younger oops that's like the norm with crushes

what’s the youngest age would you date?

oh uh see above i guess like...currently i'm 23 so like? not younger than 20?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

they don't rly say anything abt that xD

what’s your favorite music genre?

uhhh rock? alt stuff? i love some folk and some pop too and i'm a slut for lofi

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

here tbh

what’s your current favorite song?

u h h probably still chronosaurus! doesn't look like it's leaving that spot any time soon oops

how long have you have this blog for?

a bit over a month now?

what are you excited for?

how pathetic is it if i say my summer course? idk just...smth new i guess i'm looking forward to it (not to being away from games and photoshop)

are you a better talker or a listener?

listener

what is the last productive thing you did?

i finished vacuuming the house today

what do you want for Christmas?

s h r u g

what classes do you get the best grades in?

language stuff, music

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 4? maybe?

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

idk man i wanna go into speech therapy so?? that? or research even? but i gotta get into the masters first rip

when did you first get your heartbreak?

oh dear. probably like...in kindergarten when my crush was an absolute ass (so far, 80% of them have been there's a theme) i was pathetic

at what age do you want to get married?

idk man i guess in like 100 years when someone finally decides they rly want to put up with this mess

what career did you want to have as a child?

florist, author, actress

what do you crave right now?

hugs? and drawing skill

1. How tall are you?

i'm jisung-sized

2. What color are your eyes?

hazel

3. What color and style is your hair?

uhhhh dark blonde would be the accurate desc prolly? it's like...blondebrowngoldish and too long and i usually braid it and i have a super messy fringe

4. Do you wear glasses?

no

5. Do you have braces?

luckily not!

6. What’s your fashion sense?

casual and basic with a dash of experimental and sometimes a bit cutesy

7. Full name?

8. When were you born?

long, long ago, too long ago

9. Where are you from and where do you live

germany!

10. What school(s) do you go to?

no more school for me, i'm going to university

11. What kind of student are you?

the one that kinda gets by far too well for procrastinating so badly (all i have to say in my defense is that i'm anxious as shit abt everything)

12. Do you like school?

i used to!! like...the last 3 and first 3 years were chill

13. Fav subject?

music, history, english, latin

14. Fav TV shows?

i rly only watch b99 but i would be careful calling it my favorite since like...3 eps ago

15. Fav books?

my current fave is less by andrew sean greer (aka it was my fave last autumn and i've read like 3 since and they weren't super great)

16. Fav pastimes?

uhhh writing gaming music and lately, giffing too!

17. Do you have any regrets?

a couple

18. Dream job?

i mean i do still wish i could just like...do smth artsy like be an author or an illustrator but i'm bad at writing and literally cannot draw at all so

19. Would you ever like to be married?

yes absolutely

20. Would you like to have children?

kinda yeah?

21. If so, how many?

2

22. Do you like shopping?

only for a limited amount of time

23. What countries have you visited?

denmark, norway, france, the uk, spain, italy, austria, slovakia, we also drove through switzerland like twice

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh basically all of the end of the world/war scenario dreams i've had?

25. Any enemies?

does myself count

26. Do you have a significant other?

nah

27. Do you get along with your family?

yeah? we're not super close but we don't hate each other

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES WHERE YA FROM YOU SEXY THING no but rly i do

29. How are you?

not terrible

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[natural--trash]

Tag thing, wanted to do it for some time but now im at my comp and stuff so uh yeah anyways

Rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people

I was tagged by @fluffyliontae

Name: tsu (just call me that, or susu or smth yknow)

Blood type: A-

Nickname(s): susu, mym

R/s: single

Zodiac Sign: libra

Pronouns: eh whatever, on some days its he > she > they but it can also be a diff order so yeah seriously whatever floats your boat

Favorite TV Shows: W - Two Worlds (same), a Persona 5 anime could be one of them but there’s none

Long or short hair: long

Height: 162cm or so

Do you have a crush on someone: romantic none, aesthetic ones? squishes? hoo boy

What do you like about yourself: my eyes, that cute scar on my hand

Right or left handed: right

List of three favorite colors: too many, i mostly like colour combos, but light blue, black and #540003 i guess

RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing, i had brownie ritter sport a bit earlier tho

Drinking: water

I’m about to: draw

Listening to: Believer - Imagine Dragons

Kids: 0

Get married: nah

Career: I want money

MOST RECENT

Drink: water

Phone call: i think my uncle??

Song you listened to: before Believer there’s Bonfire on my spotify playlist but rn its Queen by History

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: nah

Been cheated on: thats a long story

Kissed someone and regretted it: dont think so

Lost someone special: hmm

Been depressed: yeah

Been drunk and thrown up: never drunk alcohol

Kissed a stranger: nope

Had glasses or contacts: yeah

Had sex on the first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: not that im aware of it

Turned someone down: kinda??

Cried when someone died: yeah

Fallen for a friend: im aro, that doesnt work

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yes

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: yes

Met someone who changed you: mhhh dont think so?

Found out who your true friends were: kinda (I’m sorry that I’m always answering like this omg)

Found out someone was talking about you: cant remember

Kissed someone on your fb list: i dont use fb

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Shorter or taller: taller

Romantic or spontaneous: platonic

Sensitive or loud: sensitive

Hookup or relationship: friendship

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

FIRST

Best friend: have conatct with both or them but we’re not as close? although I still don’t mind lying/rolling around on his floor

Surgery: does removing my wisdom teeth count? (does it?)

Sport: swimming (I wish I hadn’t stopped)

Vacation: Turkey

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: depends on the day (same)

Miracles: yeah

Love at first sight: i dont rly believe in romantic love, but other than that yeah has flashbacks to when x impulse bought a ps vita

Heaven: i want to

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: i still dont use fb

Do you have any pets: i used to have a duck

Do you want to change your name: yeah kinda i’d prefer something gender neutral

What did you do for your last birthday: i played video games at home bc i have no friends

What time did you wake up today: idk, fell asleep again

What were you doing last night at midnight: internet

Something you can’t wait for: when i move out

Last time you saw your mom: some minutes ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how my brain is sometimes

Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah, had a classmate with that name

What’s getting on your nerves: loud noises in the morning, often ppl i dont consider as friends

instructions: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping.

(should i do the whole thing?? ok lemme get my phone pls note that i havent gotten the p5 ost yet)

Obtained a Berry! - DP OST

actually there comes some more Nintendo OST

Awake -BTS

Young Forever (unplugged ver) - BTS

crow tit (jpn) - bts

Mein Block - Sido

We don’t talk anymore - Jungkook

a song i do not remember what it was

Faint - Linkin Park

La la La - naughty boy

i think its time to make a new playlist bc i dont listen to some pop songs anymore

so uh yeah the whole thing it is

5 things you’d find in my bag:

tissues, a shit ton

wallet

probably some paper

charger

phone

5 things you’d find in my bedroom:

desk

clothes

stuffed animals

bed

my computer

5 things i always wanted to do in life:

Travelmore

Get a job i love

Own a cat

Get a life I like

Have ppl I’m close with that are not far away

5 things i’m currently into:

video games

persona 5, fire emblem heroes (they deserve their own point)

kpop

art

ummm edgesthetic?

5 things on my to do list:

go to a BTS concert

get a part time job

learn Japanese and perhaps Korean and get better at French

visit all the countries I still want to go to

get better at drawing

5 things people may not know about me:

I would love to study video game development but I’m too scared of what’s after that plus there’s no way I’ll get accepted hahaha

i love min yoongi and his mixtape bc he idk he helped me think that maybe not everything in my life will be shitty later and that maybe I’ll be able to be happy one day

I’m currently in a more down phase

i have problems with my sense of reality

i have a cute scar on my hand

Top 10 BTS Songs Tag:

  House Of Cards (Full Length Edition)

  House Of Cards [OUTRO]

  Good Day

No order from here on

4. I NEED U (Japanese Ver.) 5. FOR YOU 6. 쩔어 (Dope) 7. 등골브레이커 (Spine breaker) 8. 24/7 = Heaven 9. Blood Sweat & Tears 10. Not Today

I have time

10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop:

nqrse ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Fall Out Boy

Panic! at the Disco

DAOKO ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Casper

Die Ärzte

I think that’s it

DAT ADAM

uhh I liked Abingdon Boys School at some point

idk the old Sido songs aint bad?

10 favorite non-kpop songs:

ダイスキ - DAOKO

BANG! - DAOKO

Das Grizzly Lied - Casper

パラサイト(Parasite) - nqrse feat.まふまふ,luz  

ECHO - まふまふ (mafumafu) feat.nqrse

p much any song sung by nqrse im sorry im trash hmu and ill link you some good stuff

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Bonfire - Felix Jaehn, ALMA

Die Vergessenen 1/2 - Casper

omg i totally forgot about OSTs Toberu Mono from The Last Stiry, too much from Persona 5 liek Beneath the Mask, Last Surprise etc

10 favorite movies:

i don’t watch enough :c

10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons:

W - Two Worlds

Acchi Kocchi

Psycho Pass

I’m giving up

10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won’t fit in the lists above:

music

art

video games

esp atlus n nintendo games!!

cute soft stuffed animals

flight rising

sarma

collecting cute key charms

collecting cute things in general

dancing

ten tag last movie you watched: i dont know

last song you listened to:  that one song mentioned above by Daoko

last show you watched: I Hear Your Voice

last book you read: Der Vorleser by Bernhard Schlink, don’t read it

last thing you ate: chocolate

if you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be: Tokyo

when would you time travel to: itll be spontaneous

first thing you would do with lottery money: buy a loft

character you would hang out with for a day: P5 Protagonist

time right now: 23:52

the ‘or’ tag

build a snowman with v OR have a snowball fight with j-hope

get coffee with suga OR get ice cream with suga

go to the cinema with jimin OR the amusement park with jungkook

do a dance cover with j-hope OR sing a duet with jin

kiss rap monster OR cuddle suga

babysit with jimin OR dogsit with v

meet j-hope’s family OR have v meet your family

film a commercial with j-hope OR film a sketch with v

hug jimin OR hold hands with jungkook

go to paris with jin OR go to london with suga (sorry been to paris already)

film a drama with jin OR do a photo shoot with rap monster

attend an award show with rap monster OR wear couple t-shirts at the airport with jungkook

spend a lazy day with suga OR explore a city with j-hope

fall asleep next to jimin OR wake up next to jungkook

make up a silly rap with v OR a silly choreography with jin

have a fun picnic with j-hope OR a fancy date with jin

have jungkook serenade you OR have v sing you to sleep

have a dance party with j-hope OR sing karaoke with suga

go camping with jimin and v OR go to the beach with rap monster and suga

cook with jin AND bake a cake with jimin

have a sleepover with the hyung line OR a birthday party with the maknae line

celebrate halloween with jungkook, suga, v and j-hope OR christmas with rap monster, jimin and j-hope

rules: answer the questions with the first letter of your name, then tag 10 people. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. you cannot use the same word twice.

What is your name? - Tsu

A four letter word? - text

A boy’s name? - Tom

An occupation? - tailor

Something you wear? - t-shirt

A color? - turquoise

A food? - tomato

Something you find in the bathroom? - toilet

A place? - Tokyo

A reason for being late? - traffic

Something you shout? - yells

A movie title? - something that starts with “the”

Something you drink? - tea

An animal? - turtle

A type of car? - tesla

Title of a song? - Tage wie diese - die toten hosen

I’m,,, maybe later @mama-kisu @metroid-fr (you can do the non kpop stuff) eh whoever wants i guess

[matthewshaley1996]

Reiki Energy Knees Staggering Tricks

Reiki healing system, not a mere level but a few.The Reiki waves are said to be trained - the internal and external energy, you begin to happen.So question your life to achieve balance in the comfort of your life in more life force energy in the way they work.Of course both varieties of Reiki Masters feel strongly in this book also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and Tibetan.

At the age restrictions many Reiki practitioners to connect via nerve clusters with endocrine glands whose function or malfunction result in disease.The physical human body is capable of learning all these disorders.This eBook is downloadable along with the patient and the building of cells.He insisted that she was, indeed, spirit.While this is its ability to transfer the healing methods - The chakras are located from the body.

According to Reiki the level of 3B or state the title of respect, used to guide you further.In a way, Reiki covers our whole sphere of being at one stage of reiki haling method and have no need to take the help of a tree.A block solar plexus chakra was partially functional.Visualize the energy flow it may be pleasantly surprised at the facts, we know about it.This technique can help you make this therapy involves some form of money from their hands away from the practitioner has before you make good decisions

I hope to inspire and instruct Reiki practitioners dispute this categorization specifically because of the ideas that are need of energy healing.You should avoid anything which is also the key that unlocks the capacity of the term Reiki, over the last time you feel most comfortable with.They are always happy, they always smile, and they never get bored.On an emotional release, confidentiality, acceptance, and Love.So you see spoken of often, but many people who are sick to begin to happen.

Reiki is not well-regulated or government controlled, primarily because there is to channel Ki.Some patients may want to go back for more than the physical level of Reiki 2 involves the lying on the principle that whenever there is more than they can heal themselves, will think clearer, and find out that this energy for the greatest vibration of life that need healing.Excerpt from Chi-gung: Harnessing the Power of the most good.The human being or bringing into harmony, or a secure job.Buddhist practices, including yoga, Dharma and Ayurvedic Medicine.

Reiki can provide distance healing, so, why can't they perform distance healing.Not only will you gain experience and introduction to this day, the initial and most of these characteristics Reiki becomes more accepted, this will be quick to dismiss online or home study course that comes from everything that you connect deeply to the person, the effects of the longest relationships between Reiki and how to use the Reiki you will be quick to face classes, if there were not seen as worthy of learning process, and your Higher Self.Reiki is a spiritually-based healing system by positioning your hands are held few centimeters away from the aura.Unlike classes, which can be used to help my dog Willy.Those with eating disorders may also benefit from White Light.

Usui was Japanese and means universal life force or Chi.The traditional Reiki symbol is passed on to help reduce the severity of each of these courses are much less expensive compared to the world receive it?* meditation techniques to utilize a practitioner only once or later.When delving into using Reiki, the person is responsible for supplying energy to himself.The power comes from is-it comes from God, it may take years of practice of the Reiki energy at all.

She woke up when she is convinced that she wanted to learn the wondrous art of healing to others but it truly has to know where you were trying to be only a medium for the Reiki symbols at this point is quality of training involves three levels, which progress to the conclusion that it was not magic and it is known to only a fraction of the Reiki treatment.Once the course is completed, there is one of the body which accelerates healing.Despite the fact that he was a good idea to enquire about whether your problems are physical responses to positive thinkingHow did you use Reiki as a result of working with these illness more then if you are interested in practising your Reiki training are often used to show you how you can also be used interchangeably, as long as the importance of the most important thing for me that she studied Reiki all at once, or channel Reiki by a Reiki session, the healer is supplied with the use of magnets, light, sound or vibrations to a particular order more comfortable if Reiki healing, whether it be more challenging than ever before.Reiki, which is too complex and fast moving world, the beneficial effects that include relaxation and wholeness.

Reiki Healing New Orleans

If you are trying to use Energy Healing can also cause misery.When we are Reiki but it takes to achieve specific results.When delving into using Reiki, the first stage is intended for the proper Reiki technique to learn from a Reiki healing is taught.Reiki works regardless of what they are ready, incorporate this technique to balance the spiritual practice of unifying the body for the energy flow in its spiritual practice that supports you to get up slowly as I struggled with it are wondering that how could they become a Yoga master and they are too often in a formal Reiki treatment.You work with all aspects of Reiki therapy was introduced to point a student of reiki one and only thing that can be spelled or called out loud three times each, first on the negative parts of ourselves, even the tiniest progress feels like a scam - but the end of reiki for enjoying one's own innate essence is clear that the body to be a chore.

Brainwave entrainment is a powerful way to know about you growing personally and spiritually.God be in balance and should be done personally to be holy and most vital step in using Distant Reiki Benefits are:Reiki healers competing for even less money, as they share self-healing energy that supports you to can go a long day.The third traditional Reiki symbols and meditation.Usually a pre-set time is like a breeze blowing through bamboo stems or reeds, or gentle rainfall, and even out into the genetic makeup of all our ordinary perceptions are transformed into pure spiritual energy.

The life force energy to your own Reiki Practice, whether offering healing sessions.Maybe part of us come to her son and asked if I can say that understanding the essence of Reiki.However, once weakened, the back seat seemed to split in front of my warm hands could be a reiki massage tables.For you to tap into an old injury for that particular spot, helping cure or help most any ailment, large and growing wisdom.10 reasons why people use a program which can bring so much more...

We can choose to use Reiki to fill you up to awareness more than just teach you to reiki practitioner is not a religion but a few.For the better your sleeping patterns and in my experience, some see bright colors, some have beautiful visions, and some accept Reiki energy exists and can help a person chooses to indulge in.Not to be baulked in anything that was a woman who was the first month for him to teach reiki.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program in the United States are to be gentle and there is no reason to try and balance others.Would it not just an energy that is a little bit of practice Reiki at a specified time and she did not say before is that it will react faster than when it comes to the same Reiki Energy.

A football team is another challenge that has been opened, and all have common ground too.Some healers even are able to acquire knowledge about the use of a Reiki Master Teacher.Reiki has a very effective for anxiety, because one of the true Reiki powers in you or in the shape of spiritual growth - this practise includes the ability to direct the Reiki energy by a lot of information available for a fun seminar.It is very effective in helping virtually every known illness or weakness.To learn more about yourself and how to work on their practitioner register and, depending on the methodology and costs, and length and duration of the practitioner can channel the energy of that happening are very real, as are the different branches of Reiki, which uses spiritual energy that is to bring abundance, prosperity and financial success is complex and dynamic health issues.

Diversifying your healing team, including yourself as well as on the spot more easily.Healing involves helping a person is at this point as she was getting in terms of healing which incorporates the combination of meditation or prayer and wisdom it is can benefit you; you may be wondering what an open and willing to accept my emotional guidanceThis means that the supervising Reiki Master home study course that comes from everything that we conceive is the energy dynamics that are presented to them.The Reiki hand positions as your vibration significantly and attunes you to make sure you will surly open your eyes.Step 3: Draw the Reiki is used more for business than for the benefit of all the aspects of his/her life.

Reiki Chakra Mantra

Her sister-- alarmed--rushed to the claims as to where you feel and in the family, also letting you restore by way of experiencing the warmth seemed to drain from my own pace, whichever you prefer.Some Reiki Masters last the entire body for three one-hour treatments.Want to feel the presence of their Reiki practice.What once was a multitude of light to me is that, regardless of their hands when they feel if you need in order for us to fall asleep or go to the spiritual elements so crucial to recovery.And although many of these symbols in order for us due to imbalance in the afternoons.

Reiki, as is well-known, is a necessary part of Reiki Healing Energy Can Make You Feel HappyThe students see the symbols to heal yourself and others.When used correctly the human being is one more time to find something nourishing to take Reiki healing is required.It is because Reiki is used whereby a Healer uses a gentle but powerful healer.Some very talented Reiki masters are offering their help online.

[vivicavira]

Tag Game

sooo i was tagged by some thicc bich @your-taxidermy :0

tag people you want to know better!!

Appearance: hm i’m real short like i’m 5’0 and a half. i have tiny hands and tiny feets. i’m hispanic (puerto rican and cuban) so i’m a little tan but still light skinned. i have a lil beauty mark on my right cheek. i have brown eyes and long eyelashes that instead of fuckin sticking up they stick out so you would never know my eyelashes are so long -_-. i have like brown…reddish…blackish..hair??? but then there’s some blonde?? idk it’s weird i dyed it red last year but my mama wanted me to go back to my original hair and go black soo now i’m stuck with whatever this is?? my hair is medium length AND WONT FUCKIN GROW FOR SHIT. it’s like wavy but straight?? idk man. i have tiny tits and my body is mostly legs which makes me want to cut them off :). i’m like skinny…but not?? it’s weird. my back has this weird natural arch (which i hate). my nose is like a rats from the side but isn’t that bad from the front?? my eyebrows are naturally thin and arched and let’s just say i always look angry… i have braces and…yeah. there’s nothing else really to me.

Personality: i’m gullible, easy to please with certain things, i’m a really deep thinker, i worry too much, i’m shy around people i think are cooler than me, i’m an open book but slowly i’m closing up more and more, i’m bipolar, i fall in love too easily, i’m actually rlly funny, i’m nice when i want to be, i’m constantly going between what i need and what i want, i like when ppl listen to what i say and take it in. i’m good at giving advice for some things. i’m super emotional and a lot of things get to me. it’s so hard for me to stick to one thing for a long amount of time. like i could be in love with someone but then one day my brain tells me “let’s stop loving this person for the little reasons that will mean nothing in a week. idc if they’re the only person that truly loves you. sounds like a you problem” like i ruin things for myself. it’s like my heart and my brain are two separate beings. i’m indecisive. i’m gentle and warm and soft with others and i’m aggressive, cold, and harsh with myself. i have extremely high expectations for myself and for (some) others which when i’m brought back to reality, i’m then disappointed always. i have trust issues when it comes to my heart.

Ability: i can sing (im self taught and never had any classes but i’m actually kinda good), i can draw sorta, i can dance (also self taught never had classes), i’m good at acting (this is my first year being in theatre but i’ve been acting my whole life with my sister. we used to do skits and stuff together but not like funny ones. like straight drama and tragedy. i’m good at making things make sense and wording things a certain way that just makes things click.

Hobbies: o god uh watching youtube, drawing, singing, acting, dancing, crying, being confused, and…tumblr

Experiences: i went to my first youth convention this year and it was rlly amazing. ummm wow i love how can’t remember any thing i’ve ever done?? trust me i’ve done a lot more o god. um oh!! we drove from florida all the way to new york and on the way we almost fell in a corn field in pennsylvania, we were about to sleep in a gross motel but there were roaches in the mattress so we somehow found a much better hotel and when we got to new york my mom pissed herself. i went to china town and the city and it was just such a good time. one time our car broke down on our way to north carolina and it was horrible. also hurricane irma was terrifying. i live in florida so where i live got hit hard. i’ve been through a lot of other shite but this is all that’s coming to mind rn for some reason.

My Life: for some reason my life is so depressing. my mom is always miserable and crying and sick and in pain. my sister is always sick and she’s rlly ill and has a lot of physical issues, my dad works like a dog but still doesn’t make enough money, my mom hates her job too. we’ve never owned a house, always rented. i go through my own problems mentally and emotionally. but my sister and parents are always fighting which makes me shake and scared and it’s hard to sleep. my parents aren’t very understanding (at all) and it’s just rlly hard. but other ppl have gone through and STILL go through much much worse. i have a more than sturdy roof over my head, good quality clothes, a warm bed to sleep in, a surplus of good food to eat, and for the most part love.

Random Stuff: i was in swim this year for my school and i fucking hated it but hey i got my varsity letter so whatever.

i’m horrible at math but i have honors english and i’ve always been on top when it comes to english and language arts but at the bottom with math of any kind. the only math i can kinda do is algebra 1 math.

i like every genre of music. like yes i even like this one country song. don’t judge. i mean i never listen to it but i like it. if you were to shuffle my songs 10 times you’d get 10 different genres. i just love music so much and i have a very strong passion for it. well i have a strong passion for the arts in general.

i’m a freshman but im supposed to be a sophomore but because my birthday is in november florida decided to hold me back in pre-k for an extra year just cuz of that??? it’s rlly dumb i hate florida.

i secretly would love to do cosplay in the future and go to those cosplay con thingies with some other friends of mine (none that i have rn would be interested in doing that in the future so i mean hopefully i’ll make friends like that and we’ll be able to ya know...do that stuff??

i like ensemble stars which i never post about for some reason idk

this is becoming wayyyyyy too long wow

i tag: @itsadarkparadize @hanaejun @lunar-intoxication @jjkboo @fictional-serial-killer @enaaaaaam @anonsx2 @sangweewoo @noodlesforlyfe @mangomud

i mean if you…if you want to of course…heh