#i think if it hurts rly bad i handle it rly rly badly but if it was pretty much alright then its ok

[scarawiki]

idk how this app works help

scaramouche x gn!reader , idk the word count 😬

first one shot ever prbly ooc scara i'm not sure how to write him very well :( most of it is rly self indulgent for comfort im going thru it i fear lawl. not beta read either i almost never write pls be nice 🤕🙏🙏 excuse any grammar or spelling errors

cw: mentions of poor eating habits due to depression & anxiety , mental health stuff , yada yada nothing super explicit

divider creds: @rookthornesartistry

You laid still in your bed that you shared with your partner Scaramouche, while he was out and about finding ingredients for dinner.

Since he left, you were once again alone with your thoughts. Constantly ruminating on the past and picking apart everything. Your mind had kept screaming at you, and you couldn't calm it regardless of what you tried. You were left feeling even more hopeless than before.

Scaramouche had picked up on your "odd" behaviors lately, but you simply brushed it off and just told him,

"I'm probably coming down with something. The weather is changing, don't worry about it too much."

You didn't want to burden him with your silly problems, right? Knowing his past, you didn't want to add more to the mix. You were sure you could deal with it on your own.

Following that afternoon, you sobbed. You were so dizzy and your head was pounding, wishing the world had swallowed you whole already. You felt that Scaramouche deserved someone better than your pathetic self. You didn't understand why you couldn't just feel happy. Why was it so hard? Why can't you get out of bed? Why can't you wake up in the mornings?

You heard the front door opening, and you quickly wiped away your remaining tears that rolled down your face, and tried to get comfortable again. Your whole body ached and you just wanted it all to end.

"(Y/N)? I'm home. I managed to find a few things for later tonight. I had to bargain a lot though, food is getting expensive these days."

Scaramouche called out from the living room, setting down everything on the counter. After no answer, he became curious and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey? Don't tell me you're still asleep, it's almost 6 PM."

He let out a small sigh after more silence followed, and then opened the door. He saw you were burrowed under the blankets, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers back to reveal your tear-stained face, and a wave of concern came over him.

Scaramouche was never particularly good at comforting others, or feelings in general. He was never shown gentleness and compassion in his 500 years of living, before he met you.

"Who did it?"

Scaramouche asked, immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone had caused you harm to hurt this badly.

"No one," you managed to whisper out. "It's really nothing. Don't waste your time on me."

He was slightly taken aback by your dismissive behavior, but decided to pry further. Scaramouche wouldn't know how to deal with himself if anything ever happened to you.

"Okay... well, you haven't been eating, and last time I checked, you aren't a puppet. You've been sleeping in until dinner time for the past few days. Out with it."

He sounded demanding, but soon mentally scolded himself for his tone with you when he saw the vulnerability in your expression.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so scared and exhausted all the time, I can hardly wake up in the mornings, and food doesn't bring me joy anymore. I can't even remember the last time I felt okay. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't think it was that bad, to be honest. I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Scaramouche. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Your vision blurred as you spoke, and you could feel your throat closing up. You didn't know how much more you could handle of this constant misery.

Scaramouche stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything you had told him. You had always seemed so bubbly and excited around him, and when he saw you completely falling apart in front of him for the first time, he felt confused.

"...How long has this been really going on?"

He inquired, and his eyes had a softer look in them.

"A few years, it comes and goes but it doesn't seem like it'll ever get better. I'm tired of suffering, Scaramouche. I want to enjoy life again and look forward to the future. Instead, I dread the next days to come."

You responded, avoiding eye contact and fidgeted with your hands. When Scaramouche took notice of this, he gently grabbed your hands and set them in his lap.

"I'll be blunt, I'm still figuring how these whole "emotions" work. But, I do see that you aren't yourself right now. Yes, you can be a little irritating at times, but I wouldn't be with you if I didn't... love you."

Scaramouche felt hesitant to say those last words, but at the same time it felt right. He then continues,

"It would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone if you weren't upfront with them, but I can see how you might have felt like a bother. I promise that you will never be a burden to me, and I hope you know that I would rather die than ever lay a finger on you, or hurt you any other way. You're one of the first few people to show me how to love and broke through my tough exterior. You never left me during my hard times, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you."

Scaramouche took a deep breath, and looked down at his lap to give your hands a slight squeeze.

"I will do everything in my power to help you feel better. I want to see to see you happy. I want to see that smile on your face again. But, you have to work with me, alright?"

He looks back up and lifts one of his hands to gently grab your chin to face him.

You reluctantly look into his eyes, and slowly nod.

"Okay, I'll try... Thank you."

You replied slowly, drained of any remaining energy you had left. Scaramouche leaned down to remove some of your hair out of the way, and placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. He came back up and caressed your cheek, and sighed softly.

"I'm not letting you suffer alone. Ever."

[1mpulsee]

// also on the topic of Bart and his opinions on killing / extreme violence . he doesn’t want to kill anybody or hurt them badly, in fact he feels extremely guilt hurting people in general . but he does have a temper he tries to bury, and when he’s overwhelmed with emotion he can act how he normally wouldn’t .

// I think some canon has Bart a lot more angry and violent than I write him — there’s honestly a lot of instances where he seems uncharacteristically aggressive (to me) . and it never rly seems that touched on how violent Bart can be when he’s angry ?? and especially rly doesn’t delve into Bart’s thoughts on some of his own actions / actions of alternate versions of himself . so I’m keeping some of it and changing other parts .

// basically, in my interpretation, Bart definitely can be very violent and even could be pushed to kill, but it takes a LOT to get him there . he does still have a bad temper . he seems cheery and unbothered by a lot of things most of the time, and it seems like things don’t piss him off when they should . but Bart does get angry — he just tends to shove it down and try to repress it . he associates anger and violence with the Thawnes / Evil Speedsters in general, and being half Thawne he sometimes worries about what he’s capable of . ( his feelings on the Thawnes are complicated and mixed especially with Thad specifically, but after everything his opinion is largely negative ) he doesn’t like being angry, and he doesn’t like taking it out on people . he really does not enjoy the feeling of hurting anybody intentionally or otherwise, and he knows that he will hurt people more if he gets angry with them .

// so Bart tends to shove all his anger somewhere else and when he does get mad, he gets absolutely furious and can go off the handle completely . ( which means he either physically hurts people way more than he normally would or verbally tries to hurt people with things he wouldn’t ever otherwise say ) and the ironic reason he can get SO violent and verbally vicious when he’s angry is because he never lets himself express anger out of fear he’ll hurt someone, so when he DOES get mad all of that repression explodes all at once and he ends up reacting way worse than he otherwise might .

[doebt]

Bruh....my relationship w death is mad complicated...i cant tell if im extremely apathetic or i just genuinely handle it very well as being a part of life

[quirkle2]

okay incredibly specific incredibly self indulgent but for qpr wars and ledge how do you think they would react to the other being injured? and like different types of injury too like minor one vs a serious one, what would they say to each other would they hold each other? omg how do you think they'd react if they were separated in battle and then reunited to find the other got severely injured while they were gone??? I am obsessed with tender hurt/comfort and I love your qpr content so much pls crumbs

IM SO GLAD U LIKE IT please i think abt this shit sm i gotchu anon

— i mentioned in my other post abt this that they each tend to go Crazy Feral when the other is hurt badly during battle and i stand by it <3 crazed eyes, flexing hands searching for a weapon, a neck to snap, a dagger to throw. they Both lose it if the other is hurt bad enough, and if they are not calmed down they Will fight until they physically cannot, even if the situation doesn't call for it. they are stuck in an adrenaline-fueled, narrow-minded trance—about half of that is their minds trying to block out something that it cannot handle, and the other half purely stems from them and their need to kill whatever hurt their partner

— if legend is hurt very badly, with death a real possibility, warriors is an absolute mess. despite him seeing plenty of death over the years, All of it were people he was not close to. in my version of it, wars didn't rly have Anybody, for a long time, and it wasn't until lu came around when he finally experienced having a Family that he could love. and that being threatened is wars' worst nightmare and losing legend in particular would,, break him, i think. he's so so close to him that i think if he lost legend he would genuinely, completely lose it

— ^ so yes he is an absolute mess. physically sick w worry and the chain does their best to keep him calm and keep him Occupied, so he's not thinking on it too much. that can only get him so far though, and u can't just,, forget that ur favorite person was bleeding to death an hour ago and limp in ur arms. he's still a wreck—doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, doesn't take care of himself in the slightest, and the chain very gently nudges him to eat and to drink and to rest when he ends up so consumed w worry he forgets to. they r very understanding abt it. they r gentle w him. i said so

— if wars is hurt very badly, legend tends to shut down but in a different way. legend isn't as good w emotions, and i think Big Emotions like that are simply too much for him to process, and his mind sorta switches off from overload and makes him numb instead. he's angry during the fight itself, killing and killing and killing until he can't, but once the fight is over and the adrenaline fades, he's left w,, nothing. if the chain is tending to wars and he can't see him right now, he tends to go off somewhere to be alone and he sits and he stares. sometimes for hours, without moving. maybe that's dissociation, not sure, but eventually when somebody—usually time—checks up on him, that's when it all sorta spills out. legend Asks The Question, is he okay, is he alive, and as soon as he gets the first word out it's choked and watery and then he simply Loses it. bursts into tears and hides his face in time's chest and time holds him so so close

— they both also tend to,, fight against the chain sometimes, too. wars has a better grip on it than legend most of the time, but when one of them is very hurt and the healers in the chain need space to work, the others have to keep their partner back and it's . a Task GVIYEAGV it's usually when they're still shaking w adrenaline and they're kicking and yelling and shouting for them to Let Me See Him, and it's a yelling match where the chain is desperately tryin to hold them back and calm them down. later on they Know it wasn't helping anything, just making things worse rly, but emotions were high and the threat of losing a member was Real, and as close as ledge and wars r, they lose it sometimes

— in terms of softer, post-battle comfort though, when ledge is hurt, wars is the gentlest motherfucker on the planet. he's gentle as hell by default, rly, but now his touches r so so featherlight and careful. unless ledge is overwhelmed and doesn't want it, wars usually Needs to be touching Some part of him—a hand, an arm, playing w his hair, something. it grounds him and makes the fact that legend is alive seem Real and True in his head, because sometimes his brain lags and even though legend is there and talking to him and responding, wars still feels that petrifying fear that he lost him. physical touch is a big comfort to wars, and it helps bring him back to the present instead of dwelling on emotions he'd felt hours ago when it was Bad

— wars is very verbal w his reassurances, telling legend over and over again that he's okay and he's Going to be okay, and he's right here w him and he's not going anywhere. and he'll say it as many times as he needs to for legend to believe it

— as soon as the chain lets wars see ledge, he doesn't leave if he can help it. pulls a chair up to his bed or sits by his bedroll and simply keeps him company when he's awake and watches over him protectively while he rests. wars tends to hover, and he asks if legend needs anything a lot, and if he's comfy, if he's in pain. if legend is coherent, he'll talk abt everything and nothing and attempt to lighten the mood, get him to smile. if he isn't, and keeps drifting in and out and asking the same questions with every awakening like he doesn't remember the previous conversation, wars is infinitely patient w him. answers his questions, tells him he's okay, brushes the hair out of his face and puts little braids in it for him. gentlest motherfucker

— if wars is hurt, legend is typically just ,, such a mess GVIEAYV he's Exactly the same way w never leaving wars' side, but every time wars so much as Coughs legend is bolting upright and acting like he's dying GVIEYAVG poor dude doesn't know how to Handle bein this close to somebody and every little thing sets him off and gets him so worried abt losin him all over again. he is a Wreck, and logic tells him that freaking out isn't going to help and that wars is Fine, he's not even that pale anymore, but saying that only does so much to ease the anxiety yaknow

— legend calls him an idiot. wars grins, all loopy, cuz he knows it means smth so much softer

— sometimes one of them loses it in front of the other, when they're sittin there keeping them company. they go quiet, and try to speak again only for the words to come out wobbly, and suddenly they're Crying and wiping at their face and apologizing for it. the other motions for them to scoot closer, pulls them in, presses their forehead against theirs. soft and gentle

— [ hands u the "i thought i lost you" line, complete w cracks in the words and sobs in between <3 ]

— it is basically clockwork for them to eventually join the other in bed and fall asleep there. it Always happens, and the uninjured party Always ends up in the other's bed, both corled up and Holding each other. the chain lets them rest

— this is getting so long i apologize but im going to keep going bc this is my house and i do what i want GVIYAEGV in terms of them getting separated ? i mentioned it a bit in the other post, but if they're both Okay and they finally see each other after a fucking harrowing experience that had them both worried for the other's life, they absolutely see each other and then make a run for it. they crash into each other and wars picks ledge up and Spins him around, so so fucking relieved he's okay. shaky laughs and desperate hugs and holding each other against the others' chest like if they let go they'll disappear. forehead kisses, wipin tears,,

— if one of them is Not okay, the other is running faster than they ever have in their life and catching them before they collapse. holding them in their arms and brushing hair out of their face and repeating you're ok you're gonna be okay like a mantra while they try not to Openly Sob

— OH and lastly for more "minor" injuries, like burns or gashes, they patch each other up so so fuckign gently man . legend always gripes and curses, sometimes at wars for "being a dumbass," sometimes at everything else for hurting wars, but wars just gives him this Soft look, bc legend is currently wrapping bandages w the most Careful fuckin touches ever. so so gentle abt it

— wars is the same way w the gentleness and when he's done he gives him the biggest forehead kiss ever. MWAH

[goodstuffexe]

I gotta gather my thoughts after the first watch of season 4 omg !!SPOILERS!!

First and foremost I don't think this season was bad at all but I do think that it indeed could be better and doesn't quite hold up with seasons 1-3. I recently rewatched (and with recently I mean the days before thursday) the previous seasons and oh my I really forgot how much I loved them and OH how good the pacing was in season 1 and 2 especially.

For example I got the feeling that 4x01 to 4x03 kinda dragged on and made the impression they want to delay the main plot for as long as possible. (What could be explained by the fact that they have 3 whole seasons to fill still) While the first 3 1/2 episodes of season 1 play out during one whole day and you don't even notice it. Kinda a bad example tho since it is the beginning of the series soo another good example would be the first two episodes of season 2 which handled continuity of the plot and problems our babies still needed to solve on the way SO good while also staying at the Moon Nexus and goofin' around for almost 2 whole episodes.

Buuut I'm definitely gonna rewatch this season because I binged it on thursday quite harshly and that's usually a bad idea and not the way I like to watch my shows lol. I just missed them soo much o.O

Okay now with that out of the way..

OH MY GOD RAYLA, my poor children.. So much sadness :( Okay I understand that Callum and Rayla indeed had no time to talk and A he didn't want to (which is legit and def understandable) and B they had more important things to talk about but I'm SO dissapointed that not one of them asked what Rayla did in this 2 years?!? Like huh?! Not even Ezran. I'm so baffled about this it blows my mind. Did she went to see Ethari at some point? (I don't think so because she said when she gave her blades to Rex that she thinks she's not going to see Runaan or Ethari ever again soo) Did she travel the whole of Xadia all on her own until she found Stella and just came to the realization that she wants to go back and stop her search out of the blue?? What the fuck happend in two years that's a damn long time gurl

I LOVED Ezrans speech and the song played by Corvus. So powerful while Claudia and Ibis fight to the death omg very epic

Aaravos straight up possesing Callum through the heckin mirror OMG and the dragons needing to beat him at his own game because he's too strong and they couldn't risk a direct confrontation aah

Makes me wonder if he is going to be a flat evil villain like the Fire lord 🥴 now that Viren has half a redemption arc lmao

OH Viren omg that realization about how he wants to spend his remaining 30 days with what he has left aka Claudia was so natural in my opinion after seeing him having a full on panic attack and being afraid of heights after falling to his death. It was out of character buut still kindaaaa maybeee felt more believable than Callum and Raylas meeting uhmm

I said it it was realllyy awkward and not the 'normal' kind of awkward it just wasn't very... it was not the way I expected them to react I'm surprised Callum actually kept his shit quite good together and Raylas lacking apology and her reaction also felt rly out of place. Tho I think she will find some words, some better words than just sorry, next season. And I hope we will hear from her what she did and where she went and she hopefully reflects on what she did and why she went away and how she hurt Callums feelings badly and aaaAAAAAH

Terry is a pure baby

He's also quite sus

Did you hear how he called Viren legendary!? What the heck is wrong with this boys morals? Calling someone who brought down the capitol of the sunfire elves, killed their queen and almost raged a huge war on all of Xadia legendary? I love how he talks with Viren about his childhood and I rly like how Viren himself starts to listen to him more seriously but I'm concerned about this little elf :(

Did you notice that the human girl who revealed Aaravos' treason has only one arm? Quite the detail but I thought it was nice tdp goes every extra mile for representation

I LOVED the conflict in Lux Aurea between Janai and her brother. Best subplot this season. How they talked about their people worrying and then they showed us an actual conflict and the consequences it brings and how Janai deals with it in her own and a modern way. I love that they take their time and give reasons behind the actions of the characters and how they continue to make the world feel more alive by showing us how humans and elves manage to get along with each other. Janai's brother (sry forgot his name) portrays that typical traditional worldview and I love how it stands in contrast with Janai who takes on being queen, a role which she didn't even want to have, with a fresh and open mindset influenced by the humans they now live with. Hehe influenced by Amaya hehe *blushes*

I also love the symbolism of the sun seed as a new start a beginning of an era in unity *cries*

The only problem I have with this is, that no matter what, if Janai's brother would have won the duel between him and his sister, he also couldn't bring back their old capital city, which he used as a reason at some point. And if he could he would have tried surely by now? Or is that just me?

Seeing the gap widen between Soren and Claudia BrEAks mY HeArT but it also feels very believable the way they interacted when Soren found and briefly captured her. Claudias villain arc is certainly undeniable and it makes me sad :(

OH AND SOREN!! Ah the best boi (ofc next to Callum my dork and Ezran being the most reasonable -now SO grown up O.O- best boi heh) he really shines this season in my opinion with some nice jokes as always but also with being a great friend and protector of the king. I love how he tells Rayla how Callum felt when she left him. He has indeed made the jump from "only" being the funny and strong goofball with the evil dad to the lovable and just friend who does everything in his way to protect and help the people he loves and it makes me SO happy omg.

Someone thought the others don't appreciate him enough for what he does and I gotta agree a bit. The look on his face when Zubeia appreciated his moves aah he was so proud x). But they were very worried about him when they found his armor, so yeah I guess more interactions with the boys pls \ o.o /

Sooo these are *most* of my thoughts I think for now. Correct me if I got something wrong- it was a wild watching session. Ofc I'm very much loving Rayllum smiling at and hugging each other after 2 years being apart :') and I'm very excited which direction the story will take. I'm now gonna rewatch the season and go cry some more about it yaay

I HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE 3 YEARS TILL THE NEXT SEASON AGAIN

[ff-imagines]

Can i request some nsfw headcanons for mantis shrimp? I read through your blog and let me just say: I'm a big fan. Btw if you dont wanna do them thats fine as well

Salt and pepper shrimp: nsfw alphabet

I did the whole alphabet bc? Why not! Side note I rly wanna write a fic going off my thoughts ab his experience level >:)

A - aftercare

Look, getting him to release you from his hold to go to the bathroom on a regular night is a battle enough. After sex? Phew I wish you luck. Might wanna just put some water on your night stand beforehand. You would be able to convince him to take a bath with you pretty easily though, he likes how the warm water feels very much. Make sure to cuddle him in the bath still, he's in a very vulnerable state right now and he really needs some good old tlc.

B- body parts

he’s got a weird fixation with your hands. He likes to compare hand sizes, whether your hands are bigger or smaller isn’t what he likes, he just likes to admire them. He loves sucking/biting your fingers while he’s got you in his lap. Lacing your fingers with his with one hand while bringing the other to his cheek, nuzzling into your hand while he bounces you on his cock.

On himself, there is tragically little that he genuinely likes. He views himself as a weapon, getting him to unlearn that will not be an easy process, trust me, Boston has tried. Complimenting his eyes does seem to make him a little more flustered than other praises, and he has a hard time staring you in the eye during sex…. maybe we can start there.

C - cum

His cum is pretty thin but there’s a shit ton of it. Enough that if he cums inside you swear you can feel the warmth as his cock pours rope and rope of his seed into you.

He doesn’t actually care where he cums, just ask him and he’ll comply.

inside you? sounds good.

On your back? Say less.

On the floor? You’re cleaning it, but sure.

He did discover he’s got an affinity for watching his cum on your tongue. I don’t know how you’d be able to swallow it all, but any attempt you make will be met with shrimp getting hard all over again.

D - dirty secret

He secretly thinks it’d be really hot for you to dom him. It’s gonna take a very long time before he’s comfortable letting you have that Linda control over him, just the thought of being tied up, hands behind his back while you praise him for being such a good boy, its a fantasy he’s visited on many sleepless nights.

E - experience

Nope. Nada. To be frank, I think he’s the definition of Demisexual, and he has yet to meet anyone besides Boston and the anti-human gang who he genuinely wants to get to know better. He definitely hasn’t met anyone who wants to get to know better for romantic reasons.

He doesn’t know enough about human customs to know that it can be embarrassing for someone to be inexperienced, but he does feel very very nervous the first few times. He’ll need a lot of reassurance, give him praise and he’s putty in your hands.

F - favorite position

I'm gonna be boring and say missionary. It’s simple, easy, and since he’s brand new to all of this it’s the least mentally overstimulating. He very much likes that he can see your face.

If he’s feeling extra spicy he might grab onto the inside of your knees and push you into the mating press, though he really only does this if he’s upset or jealous.

If you ask nicely he might let you sit in his lap, as a treat. Bouncing on his cock as he litters your chest with bite marks, what a treat it is <3

G - goofy

…. yea for sure definitely. He’s a real jokester.

On a serious note, he himself is not a goofy person whatsoever, but he would actually like it if you were. Outright making fun of him or harsh teasing is an immediate turn off, but light jokes to ease his nerves is for sure welcomed since he’s very tense the first few times.

Give him time and you might even catch him cracking a small joke himself, all the while giving you a weak, nervous smile.

H- hair

He doesn’t trim or shave anything lmao. He’s busy, and also doesn’t care literally at all. He’s got a thin happy trail that can be easy to miss since he's blonde.

He’s got the same energy with your body hair, he doesn’t care. If you do shave he might ask why, just out of curiosity. If your reason is insecurity, he’ll probably suggest you let it grow, he doesn’t care and he’s the only one who’ll ever see it lmao

I- intimacy

It’s an awkward “i hope to fuck I’m doing this right” kind of intimacy. He fumbles and messes up a lot, he might even accidentally miss when thrusting and end up just kinda rubbing himself on you but he’s really trying. Just from the fact he’s willing to try this at all with you is a big sign that he’s really trying his best to be as intimate as he can with you.

J- jerk off

Before meeting you, not a lot actually. He mostly just did it if he ever woke up from a wet dream and knew that if he didn’t take care of it now he’d never be able to get back to sleep.

After your first time together, his first time, he thinks back the immeasurable pleasure a lot, finding himself in need of relief a lot more than he ever did before. You are the catalyst to his drive, and you are also the only thing he can think about that can help him cum. It’s kinda sweet in a perverted way.

K- Kinks

He will bite you. It’s just so easy to bruise you and it makes your relationship status to others so obvious, he can’t just… not bite you.

Marking, going along with the biting kink. This goes both ways, he’d love for you to scratch at his back enough to leave red marks, to bite as his collarbone, grip his hips tight enough to bruise. He likes looking at the marks later, they remind him that he did good, he made you feel good, that’s all he really wants.

He doesn’t exactly have a breeding kink as much as this goes along with the marking aspect. Suggest to him that he cum deep inside you to mark your insides… he might give you 2-3 loads just to make sure you're nice and full, completely claimed.

He also kinda likes to make you cry. Overstimulating you to the point of tears gives him a sense of pride he hasn’t really felt before.

He really likes temperature play as well, dragging ice cubes and hot wax across your skin and watching you flinch and squirm just does something to him.

And of course, light bondage. He probably found out it was a thing after reading some kinda erotic fiction and immediately went to you like “why did you not tell me about this?????” He adores how to look all tied up and stuck, right in the palm of his hands. It makes him feel emotional as well, that you’re willing to give him such a powerful amount of control over you.

Last but not least, please praise him. During sex as well as day to day. Let him know he’s so pretty, he’s doing so good, he’s cock feels so so good, he might cum on the spot.

L- location

The first time he’d really need it to be in a secluded, safe area. He’s gotta feel comfy if he’s gonna get into the mood.

Every other time? Babes you’ve awakened a beast, he’ll get random spikes of “if I don’t at least try to fuck them I will scream”. You could be in the middle of a forest running from an axe wielding murderer and this horny bastard would still find a way to pull you aside and rail you against a tree.

There most likely isn’t a spot in your home that he hasn’t fucked you against.

Peaceful moment of washing dishes? Think again, he’s plopping you on the kitchen counter and diving to mouth at your neck.

Writing some papers? Just sit on his lap, you’ll feel much less stressed with his cock buried to the hilt, won’t you?

Doing laundry? Might have to rewash them cause now he’s using the clothes as a bed to fuck you on. He’ll apologize and help you fold them after they’re rewashed bc he feels bad lmao

M- motivation

Like I said, he’s set off by the smallest things. A little stretch, wiping some water off on your pants, humming a song, all of it can randomly make him feel the need to fuck you.

The most intense and quickest way to rile him up is either playing with his hair, or massaging his back. It starts out innocent but he just can’t take the thought of your pretty hands working so lovingly and not at least trying to reciprocate and make you feel good too.

N- no

No sharing. He doesn’t want someone else to see you, and he doesn’t want someone else to see him. It’s just not something he likes.

He also hates humiliation. He… would tolerate it if you asked for it, even if he doesn’t get why you’d want him to outright insult you. But for himself? Fuck no, he hates it so fuckin much. He’s a sensitive insecure puppy that wants your attention very badly, pls don’t hurt him like that :(

O- oral

Oh please give him oral. He’s begging. Well, he’d never outright beg but the way his eyes fixate on your mouth a lot is his way of silently pleading for you to wrap your lips around his cock. His soul ascends a little every time he sees his cum dribbling down your face, he might be even willing to make out with his cum still on your tongue.

As for giving, he’s got no clue what the hell he’s doing but he’s nervously eager to try. Guide him as best you can, he’s good at measuring your reactions so he can handle the rest. Tug on his hair a little bit if you wanna drive him crazy.

He’ll get a lot better with time, his eagerness to please however, does not leave him in the slightest.

P- pace

The first time? Slow and unsure, then he realizes “oh fuck this feels stupid good” and his pace becomes almost punishing. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s unknowingly going deeper and harder than you've ever been dicked down in your life. If you want him to, somehow, go harder? Grab his hand and place it over your stomach to make him feel his cock enter you through your skin, his hand slides down to grip your hips and slams into you, wiggling his hips without withdrawing to gain some of his sanity back before he’s back to a punishing pace.

Q- quickies

Oh hell yea. He lives for them. Sudden moments of horniness come to him all the time and since this spike in desire is brand new, he hasn’t really… learned to live with it yet. He pulls you aside into closets and alleyways all the time, he can’t help that you feel so warm and snug :(

R- risk

He doesn’t exactly enjoy the thought of a voyeur, he really doesn’t want to share you with anyone. But… there is a deeper part of him that finds a sense of pride if someone were to hear you getting absolutely pounded by him, desperately crying out and whining for him to go deeper, even better if they were someone who pined for you….

S- stamina

Well, to be frank he cums pretty quickly. It’s all so brand new to him, he really can’t help it. Lucky for you, his refractory time is crazy low. He can cum once, watch you do some mindless motion you always do and he’s right back to being hard again in minutes.

T- toys

Not against it, but is again, brand new to all this shit. He’s very interested in using your own toys against you though. Would definetly use a vibrater to edge and overstim you. He’d be interested in a cock ring, only if you were willing to endure a vibrator while he fucks you, he doesn’t wanna be the only one struggling lmao

U- unfair

He can be, yea. He kinda likes edging you, but not as much as he likes overstimulating you.

He loves to hear how you beg under him when he’s pulling you so close to the edge, keeping you just far enough to drive you insane.

Overstimming though? The way you twitch and beg, how your chest heaves and your mouth hangs open into a silent scream, eyes shut tight and watering, now that’s the good shit.

V- volume

Doesn’t talk much, but for sure gives out a lot of groans. This is something he’s never felt before in his life, the first few times you're going to get a lot of whines and surprised yelps, check up on him and make sure he’s still doing alright, he’s just very nervous.

As he gets more comfortable, he gives you quiet praises and promises to make you feel good. He also groans quite a lot, but since his voice is deeper it can be hard to catch.

W- wild card

He really wants to try using his prosthetic arm for temperature play, he’s just not at all confident in himself enough to bring it up. He likes the thought of you jumping and squirming under his touch, for now he can just stick to wax play.

X- X Ray

Mans is actually pretty fuckin big. He’s got no idea how big he is though. If you were surprised and a little nervous about his size he’d be pretty confused, is there something wrong? Did you change your mind? The concept of him being well above average is something you’ll have to explain later. It boosts his ego quite bit, even if he’d never admit it.

Whine about him being too big and you can just see the pride swelling in his chest, giving you no mercy with his thrusts.

Y- yearning

Often. Very very often. He’d fuck you multiple times every day if he had the time. However, you’re both busy, and you’d probably get a UTI with how many times this man wants to dick you down lmao. He’s got his cock buried in you at least 4-5 times a week.

Z- zzz

Actually pretty quickly. Even if he prefers being in control during sex, he kinda likes being the little spoon as he drifts to sleep. Give him some soft praises about how well he did and he’s turning into jello in your hold.

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 35

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, guns

A/N: once again i am veryyyyyy late but i rly don’t wanna let go of this fanfic. hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

The static sound of silence and the full view of darkness was what she woke up to. She wasn’t sure when she had lost conscience but at the moment the only thing she could see was the flickering light of a single lamp dangling overhead. Sometimes breaking through the silence, the irritating and yet somber noise of single drops of waters hitting the ground would make themselves heard leaving Y/N to feel like she was in imminent danger. As she tried to move, she noticed her ankle was tied to a shackle bolted to the ground which grounded her in the reality she had found herself in. However, instead of screaming or wondering what to do her first instinct was to lay her freed hands on top of her textile covered stomach trying to almost feel for the wellness of life growing inside her. 

Taking a deep breathe, she looked around, trying to understand where she was yet the low light room didn’t give much. However, the existence of a staircase a few inches away from her led her to believe she found herself in a lower floor than regular, maybe some sort of basement. Wherever it was, it was quite clear to the young handmaid it was a hard enough place to escape. The sheer chilliness of the room made her scared enough for her own safety, wondering what plans Mr. Williams had for her and if she would ever return to her life. What she’d give to return to the life she had known, in that sheltered, clueless mindset everyone believed she have. 

She sighed, biting onto her lip so she wouldn’t start crying. Her mind kept rushing, rushing too fast even with the events and stories told to her by the same man who now held her captive. She wondered what all of these years were, they surely weren’t truthful yet unlike lies they were palpable, palpable years of being placed right under everyone, hearing whispers of several other high society people pitying the orphan taken under a powerful’s family’s wing. What good was it to train someone to be submissive for the rest of her life for her safety? It was useless as she was standing idly at the feet of the same man who had brought her mother’s demise. 

All those thoughts did no little to help to tears remain in their ducts and soon, a few of those were rolling down her cheeks hitting the ground along. Along with this, one of her hairpins fell to the ground, the sound removing her from her pitying state. She grabbed it from the floor, looking at the details through the veil of her teary eyes. It was a rather sharp hairpin, she herself had noticed that prior when the hairstylist had stuck it into her hair, lightly scratching her scalp. 

Her eyes moved from the sharp edges to the shackle around her ankle and the key hole just a bit centred in the metal. Shaking like a leaf, she inserted the hairpin into the keyhole, shimmying it enough to cause the lock to give in, freeing her in the process. She found herself dumbfounded with it before quickly getting on her feet and climbing up the stairs to the door. Her hand gripped the door handle and pushed it down, however, the door proved to be locked. She sighed, looking around the room for any exits but there were no windows or any other doors. There was a drawer unit and her most hopeful self hoped there would be maybe a pair of spare keys.

Her hands rushed through the drawers which were mostly empty except the very last drawer where a small razor phone was. She looked around, ensuring her safety before she grabbed the phone with shaky hands, sighing in relief once she noticed one small bar on signal. Y/N quickly pressed the number on the phone, bringing her nails to her mouth as she waited and waited for the recipient to pick up but nothing came out of it. 

     - Please pick up ... I really need your help, I ... - she interrupted herself as she heard steps from above her. Quickly, she stuffed the phone back on drawer, rushing over to the chain which she shackled on her ankle again. 

The door opened rather fast, beams and beams of light streaming through the badly light room which hurt her eyes. Two voices were distinct and her eyes were glued to the door as Mr. Williams walked in with a smug look, however, it wasn’t him that made her heart beat a bit faster, it was Sebastian coming from behind. His pristine ironed suit was completely wrinkled, his tie loose enough to dangle around his neck, heavily wrinkled forehead, a very far cry from the put together man he normally was. 

    - You have a visit, birdie. - he stopped Sebastian from taking any steps further towards her. Ignoring her, Mr. Williams turned to face the mob boss, taking a particular pleasure in seeing him in agony over his own actions. - Told you she was safe. All it takes is just a signature and you can give her a happy ending. 

    - No, before I sign anything you gotta assure me that once you have that document she can go. - Sebastian wasn’t stupid. If there was a spark of his father that lingered in this psyche it was a very analytical and rational thinking, troubleshooting if you’d like to call it. For all he knew, he would sign those papers and Williams would do whatever he pleased with Y/N. The mob boss just couldn’t risk it with her. No, her safety came first. - She leaves, I sign it. 

    - Why should I believe you won’t just back away once she leaves? 

    - You’ll just have to trust me. 

    - You better not play me. Even if she’s out of this room, I have my own ways of making sure she doesn’t leave. - he threw the key towards Sebastian who strutted towards Y/N. Her gown was severely messed, almost a symbol of what he had done to her. It was his fault she was all over this mess, he could’ve protected her, he promised her he would protect her and here she was, shackled to the ground. He could feel his heartbeat pounding against his skull as he uncuffed her, hands still shaking. 

   - You’re gonna run. Okay, angel? You’re gonna run, run as far and fast as you can and you won’t look back, okay? - Y/N’s eyes didn’t seem as worried as he would expect, instead they held this creased look as her hand moved to cup the side of his face, the other hand pushing a piece of his hair away from his forehead. 

   - What about you? - her eyes quickly moved from Williams to Sebastian.

   - Angel, it’ll be okay. You gotta run, okay? Run. - he helped her onto her feet, expecting her to start running the moment she was up. Instead, she stood a few seconds immobile looking at him as her mind told her something bad was coming. She could just feel it, nevertheless the push on her back by Sebastian caused her to start running up the stairs. If only she could get to Dan or Mr. Forrest, they surely could help Sebastian.

Sebastian watched her leave, his heartbeat calming down as he realised she was safe. It didn’t matter what else would happen, she was safe and that was all that matter. Maybe Williams was right, maybe this wasn’t the life for him, a life with her sounded better, a life with her just sounded ... simpler, easier. Just him and her somewhere in a small town starting a family. With that thought in mind, he has handed the document and a black pen, his eyes wondering to the line asking for his signature. It almost seemed to mock him, mock him for not being able to keep a dynasty and her safe. With his gaze away from the paper, he quickly signed it, handing it over to the despicable man.

Mr. Williams smirked out of delight, eyes turning upwards to the door, giving one of his men the sort of look that led some doubt into his mind. This quickly got confirmed as the door was firmly locked, the darkness barely lit by the lamp on the ceiling involving the two of them.

    - You probably don’t remember her mother, you were too young but god ... does she resemble her, those beautiful eyes, exactly the same. Sometimes the universe does give you a second shoot. Maybe I couldn’t be with the mother but I guess the daughter will do just fine. - he raised his arm towards the now ex mob boss, pointing his gun at him. - After all why should I only control one family when I could control two?

   - YOU FUCKING BASTARD! - before he could make any moves towards him, a shot burst through his leg, weakening his stance sending him against the floor. 

   - Did you seriously think I would let you go on and marry her? Get her family support and gain your position back? I didn't peg you for a gullible one but I guess I was wrong. - he chuckled taking another shot to the same leg. - I will take such pleasure in raising your kid. I will raise your child to know just how weak you were, how you never rose up to the challenge. You will cease to exist, gone, just like things should be. 

His mother used to talk to him about death when he was younger, how people just shouldn’t fear it and that when it comes everything is white. Sebastian had to disagree as once another bullet hit him, this time close to his stomach, he didn’t see white, no, he saw her. He saw her, the very first time he saw her on the floor, he saw her eyes peaking from the covers whenever she would sleep near him, her touch, and her laughter. In that moment all he wished was for her to be somehow outside the house, to be safe, far away from all of this. Maybe it was this hope, this conviction that kept him pulling on the single thread belonging to his life. He really hoped she was safe.

   - Drop it. - a feminine voice boomed through the room. Mr. Williams furrowed his eyebrows turning around to a scenario he never expected to experience. Y/N had her arms forward, holding one of his guns and point it at it. - I said, drop it. 

    - Well, well ... - he lowered down sightly, placing the weapon on the floor before putting his hands up. - What are you gonna do, birdie? You’re gonna kill me? 

    - Shut up. - her hands were far from being stiff, shaking with the fear of the situation she was standing in but still firmly holding her revolver. 

    - What are you gonna do, birdie? You’re gonna shot me? For who? Him? Listen to me, Y/N, you and I are the same. We work hard and those above us mistreat us. Join me child, you will have the power you deserve. You won’t serve anyone else, no more hand me downs, no more screaming. 

    - I will not join you, you’re not powerful, you’re a coward. You’ll never be anything other than a coward even if you become the head of the family. You’re a coward, only cowards murder innocent, only cowards are so insecure in their own skin they would crave power. - she lowered her weapon. - I will not be the one to kill you. 

    - Well, isn’t th ... - he was interrupted by a gun shot echoing through the room sending him onto his knees leaving only a very weak Sebastian holding the same revolver he had placed on the ground.

    - She won’t but I will. - she had never seen this side of him. He sounded cruel, cold yet she couldn’t blame it, what she could do was be worried about him as he held a weapon with one hand and the other hand held onto his gashing wound. - I will kill you, slowly, painfully. Before you’re dead, I will make sure all your stupid bastards are dead, all your men are dead, and I will have you front and centre to their deaths. 

    - Y/N .. - the man winced in pain from the gunshot, eyes looking up to the handmaid who had took a few steps back.

    - Don’t you fucking say her name! - he shot him once more, no sign of mercy in his actions. 

    - Sebastian. - she called out to him, effectively gaining his attention. There were no words exchanged, she just looked at him, her lip trembling ... disappointment even. 

There are moments in your life when you can chose to be the villain or the hero of your story. You can either live being the villain or others can tell your story and keep it on. Sebastian looked at her, from her eyes to her hands laying on top of her stomach. No, he wouldn’t be the villain, he wouldn’t be his father. He lowered his weapon, cuffing the man he most despised where he had just had the woman he loved captive.

Once that was done, whatever was left of the adrenaline keeping his wounds from hurting ran out and the pain overtook his muscles, sending him against the ground. Y/N rushed from her standing position, lowering herself to catch him before his head hit the ground. She pulled him over her lap, pushing his hair away from his face. 

   - C’mon, you have to get up. - she spoke softly but he could hear the underlying anxiousness. - You have to get up, we have to get out of here, okay? Just you and me. 

    - No, angel. - he reached to his pocket, her music box still there, and he placed it softly on her hand. - I don’t think I can. You can, you can go, take the next plane out of this place, go to France ...

    - No. - she threw the box away. - You have to get up, you will get up, you’ll come with me to France. Just us, no one else. 

    - You deserve everything you’ve ever dreamed of. 

    - You are my dream. 

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[plusultrachaos]

Kaminari has a particularly rough day where everyone calls him stupid and he feels bad about it and shinsou notices and relates so hard bc of his past and they bond in the pain of feeling excluded for simething they really can't control and know they hv each others back

Comforting each other abt it even if kami doesn't rly know what to say n shinsou is a bit blunt they both try so hard bc they care

There u go sol

thank you taki!! here you go! this one was cute to do.

"You fucking idiot. Stop being stupid, just do the fucking work." It's not the first time today that Kaminari has been told that hes stupid and an idiot. It's not even the first time within the hour. Maybe he's exaggerating, but it feels like it's coming at him every second. He's trying though, that's what makes it hurt this badly. He is trying to do the work he was given in class, but it was a bad attention day and he doesn't know what happened in class. 

He leaves Kirishima’s room under the guise of going to the bathroom, but honestly, he has no intention of going back. It hurts too much to handle Bakugou's constant berating. 

He does go to the bathroom, not for regular use though. Instead of regular use, he hides behind one of the shower curtains and curls in on himself. He muffles the pathetic cries that start to leave his mouth. Of all the things to have a panic attack about, this should be one of the last ones. 

Kaminari is too focused on trying not to actually start panicking, he doesn't hear the door open with rushed, light footsteps following. He doesn't see them pause in front of the shower he's hidden in. He's too panicked about panicking that he doesn't even recognize the curtains have been pulled open until there are a pair of hands on his shoulders and tired purple eyes focused on his own. 

His lungs stop for a moment, halting in the closeness that the new 1A student is showing. It's only when Shinsou backs away slowly that Kaminari lets the carbon dioxide out of his lungs. Neither of them have stopped staring, yellow sinking into purple. It's tense in a weird way. It's a tense that normally would have Kaminari trying to crack jokes about shocking it out if them… but he can't seem to force a joke out. Can't force a laugh that would've sounded too fake to begin with. 

Shinsou sits next to him, the intimidating and deep purple finally leaving the dulled yellow. He's quiet and surprisingly Kaminari is okay with this quiet. It's not filled with the nervous energy that usually comes boundless from Kaminari. It's not filled with the useless chatter he uses to fill the silence. 

It's a comfortable silence for a change. 

That is until one of them decides to break it with a little clearing of the throat before a soft, deep voice fills the air with a curious statement. "I used to get bullied for having a villain's quirk."

It gets Kaminari’s attention and he's turning to listen and watch the other boy. Shinsou just keeps staring forward, not looking at him yet. 

"I know it's not what you're dealing with right now. but your difficulties in classes, much like the quirk I have, is out of your control for the most part. You can't change the fact that you struggle in the same way that I can't control the fact I have this quirk." Shinsou finally looks at Kaminari and their eyes meet again. There is a shock that feels stronger than any electrical current Kaminari has felt. 

He loses his breath again and stares wide eyed at Shinsou. The genuine expression that is spread over Shinsou’s face takes Kaminari back the most. He sighs and leans his head on Shinsou’s shoulder. He can feel Shinsou tense a bit before he relaxes. 

"Society fucked us over, didn't it?" It's soft and quiet  when Kaminari says it. He feels Shinsou nod, and then he feels the gentle vibrations of him speaking. 

"It really did, but look at us. Becoming heroes despite it. You're not stupid, I'm not a villain." They stay quiet after that, vibing in each other's spaces. 

Eventually, someone comes into the bathroom and with Kaminari’s luck, it's Kirishima. He sighs and gets up, offering a hand out to Shinsou. He helps him up, looking up at him. "So… um." Shinsou smiles softly before ruffling Kaminari’s hair.

"Talk with your friends. Then be ready to go. We are gonna go out." He leaves, passing by Kirishima, who is looking at Kaminari with a look. 

Kirishima waits until Shinsou leaves before going to Kaminari, looking confused. "What was that? Did Shinsou just tell you that you're going on a date?" Kaminari just nods, still looking at the door with a slightly lost look on his face. "Shit bro, what kind of bonding did you guys do in here?"

"Both of us are bullied." Kaminari turns to the mirror and tries to fix his hair. "He came in while I was panicking over being called stupid and dumb too many times today. He gets called a villain for his quirk." He sighed softly and went to the door. He knew that Kirishima was following him. "I think I'm done studying for today." 

"I don't blame you. I don't think i would even be capable of thinking if my crush told me we were going on a date." Kirishima sounded sad for a second before perking up. "Way to go, bro! Have fun!"

He went toward his room again while Kaminari went to the elevator to go to his own room. He was hyped and looking forward to this date.

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey, I'm the anon from almost one month ago. You know, the girl who asked for help about my abusive boyfriend. I've spent some time at the hospital and I got home recently. I'm still surrounded by my family and friends, and I'm under therapy rn. I wanted to thank you so much for your help. I think that without you, I would never have been able to leave him ; or maybe he would have killed me, who knows. Some time after he tried to sneak into my house with a knife, so rly, who knows.

I don't think I will ever get to right or the chance to love again you know. I don't think I deserve it nor I'm not ready to trust someone again. But you know, at least I'm grateful to be alive, safe and sound. I played again V's route and his after ending. It felt weird and I've been crying so much you know. I get it know. His situation and mine were alike. I've come to love him so much ever since. As a victim of abuse myself however, I don't get

"why everyone dislike the forgive ending. Sure, Rika needed judgement and stuff, but as a victim, I would prefer to be sure that my abuser understood the wrong they've done, rather than getting them awfully punished. Ofc Judge Ending was badly written but if I had to choose, I would forgive Rika. I don't think that revenge and hatred can lead us to the path of happiness you know."

TW: Abuse

I’ve been thinking about you, Anon! I’m happy that you popped back to let me know how you were doing. I was hoping that things were much better than they were when we last spoke. I’m happy that you got out when you did. There is no telling what could or couldn’t have happened. So, you did the right thing and I hope you tell yourself that daily. 

You did the right thing, and you did never did anything wrong. You were never in the wrong. All you did was love someone and that person abused that trust you had in them and hurt you. I’m happy you have your support system, and I hope with time and therapy, you learn that you can love yourself again. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, darling. Everyone does. Nobody deserves to be mistreated. 

You are worthy of love. It will take some time for you to learn how to love yourself again but you will get there. V did. I know that you can too. You have people that care about you and love you. I think of you as well. I hope that you can continue to grow in therapy and find yourself again. You are worthy of love and compassion. Your therapist and family will remind you of this over and over again. 

It’ll take some time to get into your head, but I know you’ll get there. I know you can. I understand loving a character so much because you see yourself and your plight in them. That’s why I love Saeran so much. I see myself in his pains and I love him as I’d want someone to love me. I hope that you can keep that love close to yourself and continue to grow with it. 

It’s special and I hope you remember that. Just as you should remind yourself that you are special and that you are a good person.

Don’t thank me like that, though, I’m merely the one that helped you flesh out your thoughts. You could have come to this conclusion without me to help you get there. But, thank you for letting me confirm your thoughts and help you get the help you needed. 

You’re the one that saved yourself that day from abuse, not me. You’re the one that should be commended as brave and strong because you are. You saw what you were dealing with and you decided enough was enough. You saved yourself and you should never forget that. You are strong, brave, and kind. You deserve the world. 

Here’s the thing with the two endings for V’s after ending because it will forever be fraught with a lot of controversies. The game sort of makes you feel ashamed for not forgiving Rika in the judgment ending. 

A lot of the dialogue choices and the game itself sort of guilt you for not forgiving her actions. I’m glad that neither ending keeps the Choi Boys from reuniting or stops V and the MC from being together happily, but there is a strong sense of discomfort among all of the members if you do not “forgive” Rika. Like, the forgiveness ending is where V and MC have a child together, are married, and are seemingly living in bliss, the Choi Boys can live without fear of their father, and the other members seem happy. 

The Judgement ending has you together with V, not married, just living together and moving on but something feels a little off, the RFA members are disjointed in a way. Yoosung concluding that Rika did what she did because he happened to glance at a book for mental health as some sort of excuse for her actions is not an okay thing. I could extend more but there’s a lot in that ending that does not sit well with a lot of people. The other members unhappy, and there is a sense of guilt over Rika and what happened. 

Like, there is this sense that you have to forgive Rika to be happy, and for the others to be happy, and for you to achieve a really happy ending. That does not sit well with some people, myself included. 

But, here’s the thing, as we, victims of abuse are, we have the right to choose if we forgive the person that hurt us or if we never fucking forgive them. 

I choose not to forgive those that have hurt me the way they have. That does not make me a bad person. It just personally won’t help me in my journey for mental health and that’s how it works for me. 

Just as your choice to forgive someone does not make you a bad person. It is what works for you and how you feel. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s. 

If you choose to forgive someone, that is your right. If it helps you on your personal health journey, then I say, forgive. If it helps you feel a weight come from your chest and helps you grow and become lighter and feel better about what happened, and like things can get better for yourself and perhaps for the abuser to learn to not make mistakes again, or that they are punished and see for themselves that they did wrong, etc. It is a personal journey and one that you can choose for yourself. 

It’s up to the RFA to choose if they forgive her, those that she hurt, ourselves included. The endings were written in a way that we can see what the intention was, like, forgiveness is good for the soul, but it could have been handled much better, honestly. She needed to be punished. She knows what she did wrong. I feel for Rika sometimes and I do wish that she can one day get better for her own sake but for her to get better, she needs to never speak to or see the RFA ever again. It’s for her health and everyone else’s. 

There’s just no fixing those relationships for her in any way. I don’t see any way it could be fixed. 

I understand that she was hurt and I know that wasn’t right, but she did wrong too, and she knew that. Mental illness =/= not an excuse for wrongdoing to be used as a scapegoat. It’s a lot winded way of saying that I have a lot of strong feelings about Rika, haha. I could keep babbling but you guys know that I don’t like discourse. I feel like it’s hard for me to talk about it in a concise manner. 

I’m just saying, if you feel like it felt right to you to forgive Rika to move on with everything, that’s okay. Just understand that some people do not forgive those that hurt them too. It’s not done out of any ill will, it just isn’t very viable for some people to forgive. 

It’s a personal choice. 

Don’t feel bad for feeling differently than other people, just understand where they’re coming from. Well, the good-intentioned people who say why they don’t like that ending, not the ones that will make a fuss over things and insult you for wanting to forgive. 

Forgiveness is a choice that we all make, but we should never be shamed for what we choose. 

[lavellane]

4, 5, 6, and 8 for miss triss ?

thank u miss mollie !

4. Can they handle blood/gore?

yes she can ! nd thats on desensitization luv 🤦‍♀‍

basically she saw a very Grizzly supernatural occurrence in the woods once as a kid, it fucked her up for life, and ever since then (bc she processed it only the way a classic Weird Girl could) she became pretty obsessed with like. horror and true crime (NOT in the gross way, i swear) and basically wasn't squeamish abt any of that shit bc she'd already had the real thing burnt into her retinas dbfnddnndd

so after she goes away to college/uni/whatever the fuck u need to do to be a Big City detective, she did a few science units and whatnot so she's also seen dead bodies nd the like in an acedemic capacity. it's never effected her too badly except for like,,, very casual feelings of pity. she's actually IS very caring, i swear, she just also happens to be numb psychologically !!! xbxjdksmdnd

5. How are they with people?

ok so she's simultaneously very good w people and also...... quite bad. basically triss is VERY charismatic and charming and endearing and outwardly she's just permanently smiling so its hard not to like her. she is good aquaintances with almost everyone in town and people will always smile and say hello to her when they see her. but as for close friends . . . she basically only has tina and thats it ! and even then tina knows fuck all abt triss's personal life ! verda is on the cusp of becoming a Good Friend too, but triss is very good at keeping people who genuinely care about her an arms reach away. the ordeal of being known is Extra mortifying for her and she hates people understanding her bc it gives them power to reject her basically 😌 she's had people who got close in the past, but she usually ends up getting scared and like. ghosting them lol. she is unknowable ! she cannot be known !

6. What's their relationship to Bobby?

m!bobby is her ex...... L. even more unfortunately, triss still does like him (or, at least amicably tolerates him lmao) and is on pretty good terms with him, at least up until That One Scene in book 2. i like to think they were friends in highschool, when he was halfway decent, and then got together after triss returned from the city. like i said above, triss doesn't rly let anybody in, and so bobby........felt easy for her, because she knew pretty much right from the start that he didnt actually give a fuck about knowing her or understanding her. and that suited her just fine fbxndndnd much to her mother's dismay. basically he was just a convenient excuse to avoid real, genuine intimacy and emotional vulnerability, wig ! rebecca would give her a LOT of talks abt “knowing her worth" "doing better" and whatever but the thing is.... triss knew he was trash ! she was just chill w it bc it meant she didn't have to get too attached lmao. anyway obviously they broke up but their relationship following that is mostly just..... ironic. triss is never mean or cold to him bc shes never mean or cold to anyone, but i guess u could say she's very obviously with the fact that she finds him annoying af. but she also finds him funny so she doesnt mind him being around bc she can get a laugh out of it.

one more thing – triss got kissed by him in book 2 (i picked the 'too stunned' option uwu) but didnt want to go any further with it bc obviously she's hung up on ava. his betrayal after that was probably one of the few times triss's chill persona actually slipped and she could barely hold a smile, could barely keep the anger and disgust from her face, and so i think he rly knew he fucked up bc she NEVER let him get under her skin when they dated. she still cared abt him and was concerned abt him after he was attacked tho. shes a caring gal !

8. What's their relationship with their mom like? How did it change?

her relationship with her mum is very good, but thats because its VERY distant. she doesn't tell rebecca jack shit abt her life, and hasnt since she was a kid. she has a lot of unresolved issues with rebecca but locks them down deep bc.... well. she hates setting boundaries for other people and would rather just ignore it til it goes away. after the book 1 reveal shes....... not rly okay with her mum, but not for the reasons rebecca thinks. the supernatural, the agency, the secrecy, none of that is rly a big deal for triss - she already more or less knew that the supernatural was out there, and like. the government being shady is hardly a surprise dbfhdjdj. mostly the reveal just bought to the surface memories of what she saw as a kid, and how much it hurt her, and she cant stop thinking abt how if her mother – who had the tools to deal w it properly – had just noticed that smth was obviously wrong, she could have helped her. it makes pretending to be fine about things a lot harder for a while, and she comes across a lot more distant than usual. eventually, after processing it, she does find a way to repress it down again, but those feelings are by no means gone and i think theyll come out One day, at some point lmao

[alias-b]

"Neil would have kept trying for you. And eventually, he would have taken pictures of my little girl." Susan welled. Her body gave an odd vibration with the thought. "I can't stop thinking about that fact. I won't for a long time." -Susan broke my heart in this chapter, I love that she's woken up to Neil's shit. Getting closer to Camille is a good thing!! Their last scene was sweet. The dream jarred me though. I keep thinking about what would happen if Cam went to Neil at his manipulation? Scary

I’m so happy that Susan’s growth is being spotlighted. Her heart to heart with Camille was a scene I walked away from so proud of. :) Billy and Camille both got good moments with her. And…your last question actually got me to pull something from my drafts. It’s an AU scene after the break up/Camille’s mental meltdown/her kissing Jim in a moment of illness and confusion.

Yes, there’s a chance she WOULD have gone to Neil in her state. She feels so unwanted at the moment and his manipulation was really getting to her. Awful or not, attachment happens even to people who are abusive. I actually wrote an AU scene where she skips school all the same and goes to him instead of Jim finding her first. It was more of an exploration to prepare for the Camille & Neil convos I had coming. I preferred what I did by a mile, but this helped me feel out Neil and Camille’s relationship and her turmoil and honestly I put a lot of my own isolating thoughts into it. I’m…terrified to post it and still going slow, but I figure if I get more terrible anons, I have double the support from good friends. Also figure it’s relevant to how I feel now so I’m sharing.

So here it is below, be warned it’s uncomfortable and leads to the Jim kiss and there is heavy, heavy gas-lighting and some sexual references from Neil’s bullshit mouth. The FOIL between Jim and Neil is so stark, I wanted to highlight it. It’s not rly edited, I just pulled it. Thanks all.

Open Wound

    Camille swept snowy slush around her feet while a fresh coat fell. Dainty little flakes that stuck to dirty sleet as if to hide it away. Loch Nora was smaller than she recalled. Rollerskating up and down the street when the wind was warm and flowers in full bloom.

  Edna snipping roses to pot some around the house interior. A smile and wave at her floating girl. Stuck close to make sure Camille was safe.

  “Bullshit.” Smoke swelled out from red lips. A cigarette flicked toward the mass of frozen dirt that used to be the Harper house. She remembered Billy bleeding out in her lap and the fire that ate everything in sight. It was beautiful at the time. Now, she and Billy bled separately.

  Kids around here say they can hear moaning and weeping from the plot at night. Camille felt like she was watching herself. Like she was a soul and no body. No skin, no muscle, no bones to rattle from the cold. It was all far away. Her car swerved along ice when she parked near Cherry Lane. More so in the forest.

  Camille Harper was desired around town. Not wanted. That bleated. But, there was one soul who wanted to play.

  Billy would be at school still. Susan at her morning shift in the perfume department. It was a roll of the dice. Camille felt her entire being stretch to wrap around the town. Around this Earth. Cold air puffed and snow began to crunch too loud for any sound to get in.

  Neil knew why she’d come the moment he saw her shaken and wide-eyed there. Red and loud against pristine white snow. No innocence. He was wrapped in a winter coat. Ears prickling pink. Gloved hands swept snow from his truck with a plastic scraper.

  “Camille Harper.” Neil pretended to be blasé about it. Brushing snow and ice with short swipes. Flecks melted on his front.

  She seemed drunk. Half here.

  “Do you see me?” That flitting tone shrunk. He hitched like he might laugh, lip twitching.

  “Yes, Camille, I do see you.” Neil forced his eyes from her expression to the car. A beat. One hand clicked the passenger door open. She stared. He could have said a number of things about how she was trembling and frosting over. Better to come inside where it’s warm and sound. Camille lingered still at the opening and felt red lights blare.

  “Don’t get into that car. Just come back to school.” Billy said behind her ears.

  Billy didn’t want her anymore.

  She crossed with ire. Climbed in. Neil stood there with one hand on the door while she looked ahead.

  “It’s important,” he took his frosty glove off and reached to buckle her in, “that you’re safe.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Hargrove.” Camille gave a dreamy sigh. Didn’t remark that his arm was still over her lap, palm resting on the seat.

  “You’re very welcome, Camille.” He stepped back. “Neil is fine.” The door shut.

  She didn’t hear the car start. Didn’t feel it move. Didn’t even process the music or heat turning on.

  “You’re upset.” He noted. Threw a brick into the silence. Camille turned her head toward his profile when they took a left.

  “Are you hurting him badly again? What did you do to him?” She rasped. “Billy. Do you want to hurt me too?”

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Neil sat back in his seat. Shrugged like he might be thinking of what groceries to buy later.

  “He’s different. Bad different,” she decided. “Worse different.”

  “Listen, Camille, I’ve known. This whole thing between you two. I imagine you both learned a hard lesson from it. It’s for the best. Billy was never good with secrets. My boy was never good with much of anything. Pretty girls for one. And you’re the prettiest of them all.”

  He made it sound like such an apology.

  “Where are we going?” She asked finally. Tried not to choke.

  “Moving here, I’ve gotten to know some fine people.” He said instead. “Everyone knows each other and do they love to talk.” Neil laughed. Hearty like a dad. Something vulgar about it. He touched his mustache in thought and came to a red light. “You’ve been crying.”

  “I’m fine.” A quick reply. Sharp and airy at the same time. Camille stared through him. Not at him.

  “I see you, Camille.” Neil set his elbow to the little pull down rest between them. One hand on the wheel. “You lost your parents. I lost mine when I was younger too. I did this, you know? Acted out. Tried to replace them. Learned I never would, but that didn’t stop me trying for awhile.” He parked on main street and cut the engine. Few shops still open from Starcourt taking business away.

  “It’s okay, you know, to look.” He clicked his seat belt off, faced her. “You’re all shaken still. I make you that nervous? Do I not make you feel safe, Camille? You got into my car.”

  And she couldn’t take that fact back. Another chill rushed.

  “I’m upset.” She admitted, felt like for the first time. “I miss the way things used to be.” Neil tutted, caught a tear with his thumb and skimmed down her cheek. Edged the corner of her lips. “I miss my mom and dad.”

  She sounded like a baby, face crinkling. Head tipped to the rest. Fingers clutched at his coat. Neil’s lips lifted as he shushed every little weepy sound. Patted hair.

  “There there, you’re too pretty to cry like that.” Neil eased, tipped her chin up in a way that was encouraging. “You feel safe here. You got into the car with me. I can make it better. Ask me to make it better, Camille.”

  She blinked at him. Really considered it because no one fucking wanted her except one red light that blared and readied to consume her. She felt Billy lick the shell of her ear and utter, mutilate. Syllables caught and Neil sighed when she slipped down, bowing her head as if to pray before him.

  “Shame. Stay here.” Neil slipped away to get out.

  “Wait,” a hand snatched his wrist on instinct. He was looking not at her face, but at the hand on his skin. “Where are you going?”

  “Girls like hot chocolate, don’t they?” Neil smacked the door shut after locking his car. Looked around. Camille covered her face and quivered. Those red flares burned her flesh. She glanced outside and saw herself with Robbie. Too young. Him offering her an ice cream cone.

  She took it. Smiled. Licked.

  She should have just screamed.

  She should have screamed now too.

  Neil returned and offered a to-go cup that steamed. He didn’t buy any for himself.

  “Take a moment and drink it.” Neil turned his car back on. Heat kicked up. Camille steadied her breathing enough to sip. It went down all chalky. Hair stuck to pink cheeks. “Police Chief can’t replace them, can he?” Hands smoothed his tie.

  “Jim is nice to me.” Her back hunched like she was avoiding a crushing blow.

  “Man has quite the reputation. Nothing that should be near such a nice girl.” Neil only shrugged, blue eyes lifting. “Unless, maybe, you’re not a nice girl. Painting your lips so he sees them. Dressing the way you do. Does he like to look at you?”

  “I-”

  “Do you like it when he looks?” Neil almost smirked, it flashed in his cold eyes. “You want him to pat your pretty head and kiss your cheek.” His palm cupped her face. The free hand took her cocoa away to set it aside. “Has he touched you?”

  “What?” Camille reeled back. Neil’s hand came to her knee. Everything locked up.

  “Have you shown him things? Hm, Camille? Taken your clothes off for him so he can see you too? Good girls don’t do that.”

  “We-”

  “You want a big man to kiss you all better. You want daddy to sweep you up.   Make you feel good again. Don’t you, Camille? You just want to feel good again. I understand that too.”

  She twisted, reaching for the handle when the lock came down.

  “Camille, don’t make a scene,” came his chiding, “I think you’re being very unfair to me right now. We’re just talking. I’ve been nothing but kind to you. Aren’t you safe here? Am I going to hurt you?” Neil’s grip on her knee clamped down. She wanted to scream that he hurt Billy. His family. Scream that he was the dirty monster. “You got into this car all on your own. Face it, you asked for me. Say it.”

  “It hurts.”

  Camille didn’t know what exactly was hurting. Everything. Nothing. But, it was an open wound she kept picking at.

  “There’s a place, you know.” Neil’s hand left her leg. The ability to function swept air into desperate lungs. “A place I could make you feel better. You wouldn’t have to do anything. Unless you wanted to. I’d take care of it. Don’t you want to be safe and secure again?” Wet clumpy lashes fluttered shut. “No, you stay right here.” Neil grasped her shoulder to shake. Eyes opened.

  “I see it. I see you.” He sounded so nurturing. “I see what made my damn son so crazy. You do these things to men, you know?”

  Neil laughed again. Camille felt him sucking the air from her. The pang of a jackal’s teeth sunk into her heart.

  An answer was upon the tip of her tongue.

  “Camille?” A muffled knock on the window. Neil’s play cut, he reeled from her quick. Detective Callahan looked less dopey staring there. He gestured for the window to roll down. Camille grew petrified.

  “What’s going on here? The Chief got a call. You skipped school.” He peered behind her. “Neil Hargrove?”

  “Afternoon, officer.” Neil’s smile dazzled. Camille stared at Callahan all paled and tearful. Never seen Phil this serious in all her time working at that station. “Ms. Harper was wandering the street. She’s a friend of my family. I worried. I was about to take her right back to school. Poor girl just went through a bad break-up. It’s my fault, I figured a nice cup of cocoa could solve anything.”

  Camille felt Neil’s warning hand on her back. Knew Billy would pay a price later if she didn’t lie right now.

  “Isn’t that right, Camille?” He chirped too cheerfully.

  “That’s right. I’m feeling better now.” She turned to Neil. “Jim must be so worried about me. I want to get home to him. Right now.”

  His brow twitched.

  Neil hated her and those red lips.

  “I got her from here,” Callahan didn’t thank Neil. Just took Camille’s hand and led her to his own vehicle. Neil stared the entire time. Waited until they drove off before he threw the cup outside with a spatter and sped away. “Camille.”

  “Is Jim at home?” She cut.

  He sighed.

  “Yes, he’s not happy about this.”

  “Oh.” Camille looked at the icy trees. Cracking against harsh winds.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Fine. Fine. Tired.”

  “Why did you skip school? This isn’t you.”

  “Yes, Philip,” Camille sniffled and faced him with red eyes, “it is.”

  They pulled up to the house. Camille felt fear flood.

  “Go on, he’s waiting for you. Don’t skip school again, Cam.” Phil offered. Tried to be careful about it because she was breaking.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Camille got out. Saw her car pulled up. Jim must have gotten a buddy to tow it over. The door opened and Jim crossed his arms there. Already aflame.

  “Skipping? Leaving your car in-”

  “I know.” Camille locked the door. Put her head down to go around him. “I just…needed to get away. All right?”

  “No, it’s not all right. Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Jim’s tone lifted. “I need to know that you and El are safe at all times.”

  “Well, we’re not.” Hands jabbed out and fell. “Can I go to my room now?”

  “Callahan radioed that he saw you in Neil Hargrove’s car.” Jim grasped her arm. “What’s that about?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Camille, I know how that guy is. Just talk to me. Let me help you.”

   You can’t.

  “He didn’t force me into the car.”

  Admitting that made her feel like trash. Jim saw her bottom lip wobble and let go. He rubbed his scruff and turned to sit at the head of the kitchen table. Covered his eyes when irritation twitched.

  “You need to understand that you can’t run off like that. It’s not safe. It’s a risk. We don’t take risks. I know…what happened with Billy is hurting you. I can’t watch you-”

  “Are you mad at me?” Camille crept to the table looking insecure. Hands pulled to her stomach.

  “Yes, Camille, I’m actually furious with you.” Jim’s hand smacked down. Caused her to jump. “Running away from school when there are people after you, I thought the worst!”

  “Don’t be mad at me, Jim, please.” She welled and came to his left side. “I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me.” Hands lifted. Heart pounding. Red lights scorched now. All she wanted to do was smother them out. “It hurts when you’re mad at me, let me make it better. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t be upset.”

  No one wants me.

  I’m not a nice girl.

  “Camille, it’ll be okay, just…don’t do this again.” Jim cocked his head with an easier sigh, lifted his eyes to see her too close to him. He opened his mouth to continue before bright red lips fell upon his.

  Begging.

  Tears wet Camille’s cheeks as she took his jaw and opened her mouth. Moaned. Tried to deepen the kiss instantly, but Jim muffled a gasp of shock. Jerked up and away so quick that the chair skidded to crash into the floor. Camille was still looking at him with her hands lifted aimlessly, huge hazel eyes shining.

  “I…I thought…”

  “Camille, Jesus Christ, what was that?” Jim wiped his mouth and saw red smeared on his hand. His own gut twisted. He looked like she slapped him. Guilt that maybe he led her on pooled. “You can’t do things like that.”

  Camille burst into tears. Covered her face and crouched down on wobbling legs like she might collapse.

  “I’m so stupid,” she cried. Jim recovered and came down to her level. Felt a cringe back into the wall the second he touched her.

  “Hey, Camille. Just breathe for a second. Talk to me.” Jim was too good. The open wound bled out. He managed to get her into his warm arms.

  His girl was confused. Trying to hurt herself. He knew the pattern well enough. Tears wet his uniform. Camille pressed her cheek into the cool metal badge still pinned to his chest. Felt his heart beat under it.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” it wasn’t often Jim used pet names, they made her soften, “you’re safe. I got you. Just take an easy breath for me.” Camille shuddered into his body. Clutched at him and lifted glimmering eyes.

  “But,” Camille cringed through a sob, “can you see me, Jim?”

  Am I real? Am I dirty? Are the red lights going to burn still?

  Jim Hopper had no answer. He tucked her back under his chin. Kissed brown hair. Squeezed Camille so tight. Until she stopped crying and berating. Until she could breathe once more.

  “You just…make me feel safe,” she said, “I’m sorry.” Jim nodded and rubbed her back. “Are you still mad at me?”

  “No, I’m not mad at you.” Hopper looked at the patterns in the wallpaper behind her. “You’re hurting. I just…can’t watch you hurt yourself more, Camille.”

  “I’ll try to stop.”

  “Promise me.” Jim’s own voice cracked.

  “I promise.” She closed her eyes. Exhaled Neil Hargrove out of her skin.

  For a single beat there, Camille Harper felt the wound might be able to close.

[equalseleventhirds]

i’m reading through scum & villainy for a new rpg group and i am just reminded of how much i love the mechanics of forged in the dark games

the only one i’ve played so far is mutants in the night but like... so good i love it and i want to TALK about it, in case anyone is out there looking for cool games to play.

first of all collaborative worldbuilding/scene setting/storytelling, very often the gm will ask players questions and together they create what’s happening (which is! i love it! it’s more interactive and emphasizes improv and also is a little less work for the gm)

second of all the mechanics are like... made for failure. which sounds weird but! it’s very likely given how it works that you will fail, fail often, and fail hard (some ppl joke that fitd games hate you personally). but instead of going ‘that doesn’t work’ and then leaving it up to the gm if they want to do more with it, the game is like, designed to automatically do more with failures. it gives you options, choices to make, deals to take, and consequences to failure that are often far-reaching, but that make things much more interesting than it just not working. so you don’t win! you don’t always win!! but it’s far more engaging roleplay-wise than if you had actually!!

this is not to say you can’t succeed at things; you can, and it gets easier as you level up, altho then challenges get harder. but i like that it makes failure actually engaging and into something that changes the game.

which, to be fair, a rly good gm can and should be doing with other games too; like a common thing that happens in d&d is you fail at something and keep trying, bcos there are no immediate consequences to the failure besides it not working. eg, you try to pick a lock, and you can’t, so you try again until you do. that’s the basic built-in mechanic. a good dm will say,for example ok, you tried to pick the lock, now you’ve taken too long and there are guards. or you tried to pick the lock and triggered a trap and now you have to deal with that. but when d&d talks about failure in the most basic rulebooks it doesn’t address consequences to move the story forward. but fitd specifically says that failures are not just misses; something has to HAPPEN to change the situation.

two things i particularly love are the devil’s bargain and the stress/trauma mechanics.

devil’s bargain is that if you want more dice to roll your gm will offer you a bigger risk/reward scenario. using the lockpicking example from earlier, let’s say you want another die to help you. so the gm says you can have another die, but IF you fail with the extra die, the consequences for failure will be worse. and they’ll give you a specific consequence; maybe armed guards will show up instead of unarmed people, maybe someone in your party will get injured, whatever seems appropriate to the situation. and then ofc you have the chance to say no... but i do love a bigger gamble.

stress & trauma as a mechanic are just *chef’s kiss*. doing certain things (some actions to improve your situation, actively resisting consequences, continuing to move & fight when you’re badly hurt) will give you stress. too much stress and you’re removed from the scene bcos you’re in too bad condition, but when you come back you have trauma. you’ve taken on too much, and now your character has a significant, permanent impact on their personality. you get to choose which one, and you get to decide how often to roleplay it, but that’s a permanent consequence of the stuff your character has gone through.

which is some heavy stuff, it rly is! but it’s also just really good game mechanics.

(other things i like: dice pools, bcos i love a dice pool; min/maxing of stats bcos i think that’s more fun to roleplay; the idea of flashbacks, where you can say ‘ok i did this thing before that will help me out now’ and you get to play it out and roll for it retroactively, which is just super neat)

...i could talk a lot abt fitd games but like. listen? i love them. i don’t get to play them much (maybe soon... s&v group...) but just being aware of the mechanics has also made me better at gming for other games (...d&d, which is still the main one i play bcos it’s more well-known and easier to get a group together for), largely bcos it’s so damn good at handling failure.

[jinheeyj-blog]

hello !! i’m vivi ( 20, she/her ) & this is my sweet baby angel yang jinhee !! he’s... a bit of a mess tbh lmao BUT HE’S HARMLESS i swear he’s just kind of all over the place and def spends way more time in dreamland than living in the real world but he’s also a sensitive boi so pls don’t hurt him heh. if you wanna know more about him here are his unfinished stats, but i’ve also collected a bunch of info about him under the cut !! i don’t have any wanted connections just yet but if you wanna plot just hit that like button and i’ll come to you ❤ EITHER WAY !! here we gO

ok so first of all i’d like to start off by adding jinhee’s personality from the application form since it sums him up pretty well ( boy’s got no really traumatic childhood experiences ):

because of jinhee’s incredibly idealist way of viewing life and everything that surrounds it, one could say he’s definitely what people would call a dreamer. it’s a good thing, in a way, in the sense that he doesn’t care what people think of him or whether he’d be called weird or strange for living inside his own bubble all of the time. however, in other cases that can be pretty challenging for him, since he’s never been good at dealing with real life issues. jinhee can easily irritate people around him with his sense of humor and energy, which sometimes can be way too much to handle if they aren’t used to it.

contrary to popular belief, it took jinhee very little time to figure out what he wanted to do in life. of course, the instagram modeling and busking all came pretty spontaneously and wasn’t planned at all, but the sole fact that he’s always loved children made him want to be a teacher, so that’s what he strived to achieve. being as family-oriented as he is, it was a surprise that he actually moved away from his family home to live in the sharehouse; the reason being that a relative got the job for him at the daycare after he was done with his studies, and they lived way too far away. to make things easier, he moved to the sharehouse and that’s it, simple as that. doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss his family daily, though.

jinhee often finds himself in different predicaments which really take a toll on him, since he’s not too keen on living in the present. always dreaming and imagining alternative scenarios, it’s like his mind is constantly in a fairy tale world. it can be a nice thing, seeing that he works with children, but some would even see him as childish for it. he’s not blind to the public opinion; just doesn’t care for it.

nonetheless, he’s generous, optimist and really an open book; unable to hide his true feelings, it’s obvious to anyone whenever he’s feeling upset, mad, ashamed, or even anything, really. he wears his heart on his sleeve and ends up getting hurt badly for it sometimes, but he’s never really learned to protect himself as much as he probably should. however, there are certain situations in which he does his best to be realistic. he tries, of course, but sometimes things are just too much and he lets himself slip into the dream world once again. it’s one of the things he tries to work on the most: being realistic about life and hearing other people out, since he tends to shut out any other opinions different to his own.

ok so tl;dr!!!!! complementing all of that, it’s pretty obvious that he’s a dreamer

he can and WILL shut you out if you start to talk shit about him or his way of viewing life

he’s def gonna feel guilty & bad afterwards but oh well you can’t have it all in life now can you

basically he tries his best to keep his feet on the ground and not dream too loud but it’s just. HARD

he loveslovesloves his family, would do anything to live with them forever but life is tough bro SO he settles for visiting them frequently back at home since it’s pretty far away from the sharehouse & his workplace 

went to college with the idea in mind that he wanted to work with kids and does a pretty good job at it

he literally has no idea how the fuck he gained so many followers on instagram but then suddenly one of his friends called him an instagram model and he just accepted it lmao

also he’s always been told he’s got a nice voice so he decided to try out busking once and !! omg ?? people actually LIKED IT ?? so he came back more times even if it’s not a frequent thing

growing up he’s always had people call him names and tell him he’s weird but in his opinion THEY are the weird ones so who’s laughing now huh

jinhee really has no idea how to deal with problems... i mean he DOES try rly hard to deal with them but sometimes it’s just too much and it just does a LOT to his mental state

he also can’t handle direct confrontation, he’s just a sensitive boi who wants to see no frowns

basically anyone who’s gonna be around jinhee for an extended amount of time needs to have a LOT of patience bc he can be very annoying and think inside his own bubble & he can also be not very organized ( both with his mind and his things ) but he’s just got a lot of love to give

and THAT’S ALL !! pls love him a lot thanks

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.