#i think i'm just mourning how close i got
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inawickedlittletown · 3 days ago
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Sooo I started to read other articles. I didn't after reading the ones that came out right after the episode that justifiably got everyone upset.
This one from tv insider had Tim saying this:
Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?
Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.
That does seem to be Buck’s go-to, which isn’t the best.
Exactly.
Are we going to see Buck single for a significant period of time now? Is he trying to figure out what he wants really out of a relationship?
Yeah, I think that’s right. As Tommy said, you’re still figuring yourself out, and his options have increased by 50 percent of the population. So knowing Buck, that’s going to be choice overload. He’s got to navigate that with a little self-awareness.
--
So they definitely planned for this. That's what this reads like...they wanted to break them up so that they could send Buck through a period of exploration. Tim says everything Oliver said here in much nicer terms. His view of Buck is so...Idk, it's like he sees Buck as a kid that still doesn't know what he wants. And he decided to put that view right into Tommy's head too. It's a little jarring I guess but this show...has it ever been consistent?
What sucks is that 8x05 was written like they were doing so well. And then right off the back with 8x06 we have warning signs in the date scene with the girl that approaches Buck and how Tommy sort of shrugs off Buck checking her out. I really do wonder where hot waiter fit into this and I'm so glad we didn't see Tommy like checking hot waiter out or something. But I guess that scene was there to sow the seeds. We have Buck spiraling because of the Abby thing and we have Tommy maybe not realizing but reinforcing for himself that he's a stepping stone for Buck and being okay with it in the status quo.
The way that Tim speaks about Buck asking Tommy to move in, he makes it seem like Buck is just barreling in without thought...like if they went through with it Tommy might be proven right. But then what is the point of the scene with Josh where Buck is right on the cusp of an "I love you" just to then be like no actually Tommy knows how this ends and he can read Buck and knows they're not forever. But Tommy is not a mind reader.
Where there is hope is in that Tim doesn't outwardly say anything about Tommy being gone for good. As someone else pointed out the Lou interviews were done by buddie journalists with a bias so there is a question to how much that colored what we got and why they were so determined to close the door fully. Also...why did we get exit interviews in the first place for a character that only had three episodes...it's so odd.
The writers made a point of leaving this open. Do I think we'll get Tommy back any time soon. No. But after the doom and gloom and the time to mourn this a bit I want to be positive and there is really no knowing. Tim says he thinks Buck will be single for a while...okay fine...picture that being the rest of this season.
Buck won't just jump into another relationship...and Oliver gets his Buck slut era 2.0...what if S9 brings back Tommy? What if this is the long game...or at least the thing they can have in their back pocket if Lou is available later on to come back. But that's not something they can promise or that they can commit to and Lou isn't on contract clearly and Oliver wouldn't know if that's the plan...hell even Tim probably doesn't know if they'll do that. Or I'm giving him too much credit because as we've seen this season storylines have been rushed to close up at breakneck speeds so it would be an anomaly for him to prolong something like this.
All this to say, showing the network and Tim that bucktommy matters to a lot of people and that Tommy matters...it may just make a difference.
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beescrafting · 21 hours ago
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You aren't my Lieutenant.
Angstful writing idea that I have for Ghost and Roach that ties into what I'm writing and to put Roach in the reboot series just cause I love him SO DAMN MUCH.
___
Ghost remembered his rookie days alongside Roach. They joined together around the same time. They hated each other's guts at first but soon became something like brothers, a nice relationship.
Then when he got captured by Roba and Ghost was truly made, Gary was by his side. Gary always was by his side when he lost everything. Except when he lost him. It was a mission... of course, it was a damn mission it wouldn't have been anything else. Gary was close to getting on the exfil before being shot.
Ghost mourned his friend, hell he looked at the damn build-a-bear Gary had gotten him one time to poke fun at him... he held it close before squeezing the palm of it. 'Simon don't be such a sad sap' the voice of Gray...
now Gary was gone...
Years passed and Ghost still felt the guilt, he was apart of the 141 now with Captain Price, Sergeants Kyle 'Gaz' and Johnny 'Soap'... it was getting back to some sense of normalcy if you could call it that.
And then they get a strange power burst while on base, and the alarms of an inturder ring through the building.
Ghost is the first to find him, it's Gary... it's Roach...
Roach doesn't recognize him, pointing a gun at him and looking around confused.
"Who the hell are you?" Roach muttered.
Ghost had never been so happy to have a gun pointed at him. For his friend was back... or some sort of version.
~~~
It was just a mission for Gary alongside his Lieutenant and Captain, invade a building, take down the machine and gather intel. Simple and plain.
So explain to him why he was trapped in the room with the damn machine turned on as his captain and Lieutenant tried to get him out, it was too late they all knew it... but it still hurt to know he was going to die like this.
"Hey Lt, Cap' think i won't be able to get drinks this time" He joked as the bright green light consumed him.
Roach expected pain, a firey sensation... But no... he was in some random dark room... it confused him. As he moved the lights suddenly turned on which freaked him out as he looked for hostiles... their was nothing... then how did the lights turn on?...
Roach quickly moved to radio to his squad, to his captain, to his lieutenant... nothing but static came through...
"Shit... shit" Roach mumbled unsure on what was happening... That when someone strange entered the room, and quickly shouted at him to stop. And what does roach do? What any good cock roach would...
Run.
He rushed past that random guy, a guy with a nice plain t-shirt and a baseball cap with the British flag. It didn't make sense for him to be back in England when the mission took place in fucking france!
He ran, and ran, the lights and alarms started. This place, this base, this compound or lab knew he was here now, he needed to find a way out and to get back to his team.
This place was large and confusing it was nothing like the building he was once in... He turned a corner only to find a door, it was better than anything so he rushed in and closed the door behind him. He heard the steps of men passing by yelling orders trying to find him.
Roach stepped back from the door for a few minutes, playing rock, paper, scissors with himself to calm down and focus. Once he was calm enough, he began to process what had happened. What was he going to do? He didn't know where he was, what had happened, or what he could do... It was just almost too much.
Roach leaned against the wall to this... what the hell was this? He glanced around, it looked to be a debriefing room... alright... he could work with this... just maybe.
He went through looking around for anything he could use, information mostly, it was all stuff about missions and Makarov... of fucking course Makarov...
He scoffed for a moment before hearing the door to the room open. He froze still for a signal moment before turning around raising his gun. Only to be met by one scary god damn mother fucker.
This wall of a person surrounded in black with a skull mask, Gary didn't want to know if it was fake or not, stared at him still just like him. It took all his willpower just to mutter, "Who the hell are you?"
___
im not feral for roach content... yes I am feral for roach content I just love him so much.
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pussy-ache · 4 months ago
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finally being able to grieve without having to do so at work is odd
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imaginedisish · 4 months ago
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I'm Not In Love (Logan Howlett x fem!Reader)
A/N: Okay, so this if my first fic in over a year, and it's also my first Wolverine fic...so please be kind. I'm just getting back into the groove. Expect it to possibly be a little rough. This is big time inspired by "I'm Not In Love" by 10cc. This fic is also thanks to a request I got from an anonymous user! Thanks for the idea, anon! Hope it's okay! Enjoy guys.
Summary: After harboring a crush on Logan for months, things finally come to a head while on an overnight mission.
Warnings: SMUT. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. There's like no plot here just smut, Unprotected PIV sex (wrap it up), Oral (f!receiving), AFAB reader, Sizekink!(this was a specific size kink request, and so the reader is therefore described as being smaller than Logan/his shirt being big on her), cursing, praise kink, OOC!Logan (just putting this out there because I haven't seen the X-Men movies/read X-Men comics in forever and I'm probably giving him terms he doesn't use/having him act in ways he might not typically), feelings, cocky!Logan, softdom!Logan, one bed muahaha, probably grammar errors, think that's it?
Word Count: 3,162 I got carried away
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He was driving you absolutely crazy. Logan. Logan fucking Howlett, with his cocksure attitude and self-satisfied smile. Maybe it’s the way he thinks he’s always right. Maybe it’s that stupid stubbornness, that prowl he does when he walks across a room to meet you. To mock you. His whole being towering over you—his musky, pine-scented cologne filling your lungs. He’s everywhere—and not just metaphorically—literally and physically. His giant frame shadows yours, and you can’t help but admit that there’s something about it…something about him. 
You want him. Bad. And although you won’t admit it, you’ve wanted him for months. And so, as of lately, he’s not so much a nuisance as much as he’s a distraction. 
You just had to be sent on this mission with Logan—this ridiculous two-day stake-out that you could have done on your own. You’re certainly strong enough; your telekinetic powers and regenerative abilities are enough to handle any situation. And yet, here you are, walking up to a motel with Logan fucking Howlett. 
His frame practically consumes yours as he stands behind you on the sidewalk. You swear you can feel the ghost of his fingertips against your waist, impatient and ready to guide you forward. You silently wish he would—wish he would grab your hips and take you down that alleyway and—
“You okay, darlin’?” His voice is gruff against the shell of your ear. “You seem awfully distracted.”
You swallow your embarrassment and hope he won’t pick up on how fast your heart is beating. “I’m fine, just tired,” you mutter, lying straight through your teeth. You can feel his smirk against the side of your head. He has to know what he’s doing. He has to know how much you want him. 
He chuckles and his chest vibrates against your back. “Too tired for the mission, bub? We’re almost at the motel, don’t worry.” The condescension in his voice is palpable. He knows exactly how to get under your skin. You’re putty in his hands. 
He steps out from behind you, and before you can mourn the loss of the contact, he grabs your hand and leads the way through the doors of the motel. “This okay?” He whispers in your ear, his massive hand giving your smaller one a squeeze. All you can manage is a nod as you approach the front desk. You know it’s just to support your cover—you and Logan are posing as a married couple—but you can’t help but hope it means more. You need it to mean more. 
God, you are so fucked. 
You’re so distracted thinking about how close Logan is to you that you almost miss the moment when the worker at the front desk says the only room left has just one bed. 
You crane your head to look up at Logan, who you find is already looking down at you. 
“That’s perfect,” he says, his eyes still on you. His stare doesn’t budge as the man behind the front desk slides the key towards the two of you. Logan grabs the keys and finally breaks the moment. His hand is still holding yours as he navigates the two of you toward your motel room. 
The room is…small. There’s one queen bed in the center, a bathroom on the other side of the room, and an old box television resting on an even older-looking oak dresser. On the bright side, the place appears to be clean. 
“I should freshen up,” you say, taking off your shoes. Your hand slips out of Logan’s as you pad over to the bathroom with your bag. 
The bathroom isn’t horrible either. Dated, but clean. You brush your teeth and wash your face before undressing and searching for your pajamas in your bag—which, naturally, you forgot to pack. 
“Ah fuck,” You mutter louder than you meant to. 
You hear Logan stirring in the other room, his footsteps quickly approaching the door. “You okay?” You can sense the concern in his voice, and you can’t help but smile. 
“Yeah, just forgot to pack something to wear to bed.” There’s more shuffling on the other side of the door. You hear Logan’s bag zip. 
“You want my shirt?” He asks, standing just outside the door now. 
“I’d feel bad, then you—” Your protests are ignored as he opens the door just enough to toss his Calgary Flames t-shirt onto the bathroom sink, closing it tightly once the shirt lands. You smirk as you walk over to the shirt and put it on. The hem lands at the middle of your thighs. Logan really is massive, you think to yourself. 
You take a deep breath, slowly twist the knob of the bathroom door, and head outside. Logan is lounging on the chair next to the dresser, his eyes on you as you place your bag down on the floor at the foot of the bed. 
“Th-thanks for the…” You stutter, trailing off as you nod down to the shirt. 
Logan smirks as he pushes himself out of the chair and makes his way toward you. You think you see him take you in, look you up and down, but that can’t possibly be.
He shakes his head as he stops at your side. You swear you hear him mutter a low fuck under his breath. “You look good.” But he doesn’t stop for long. He pushes forward and into the bathroom. “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he mumbles as he shuts the door behind him. 
“Let’s just share the bed,” you shout back, unsure of where the confidence to say that came from. But there’s no response, just the running of water from the sink. 
You sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for what feels like forever, but Logan doesn’t take long at all. After a few minutes, you hear the sink shut off and the door creek open. 
You shake your head as you stand from the bed to face him. “By the way, you’re not sleeping on the floor, don’t be ridic—” You’re too stunned to say another word. You’ve seen Logan shirtless before, sure, but not like this. Not in just his boxers. Not in a room with him, alone, for an entire night. You need to relax, to calm down, but there’s nowhere else to go, and nothing else to look at. You know he can your heart beating out of your chest now. 
 He steps toward you, engulfing you with his presence. You stare up at him. “Am I really that scary?” He closes the distance between the two of you. 
You try to play dumb. “W-what are you talking about?”
“Every time I get close to you, that little heart of yours practically explodes.”
You swallow roughly. “I d-don’t know what you’re talking about, Logan.” But your shaky voice gives it away. You know exactly what he means. 
His arms snake around your waist, resting on your lower back. “Yeah, you do, darlin’,” he says. “You afraid of me or something?” God he is so fucking cocky, you think to yourself. 
“’M’not afraid of you,” you whisper. “Could never be afraid of you.” 
He smiles and walks you to the edge of the bed, your knees threatening to buckle under the pressure. “What is it then, hm? You like how big I am? That it?” Your eyes frantically search his face for some sort of excuse, some sort of denial. But he can read you like a book. “Yeah, I think that’s it.” He’s towering over you, caging you in. 
“It’s more than that,” you admit. 
He cocks his head to the side. “Oh yeah? What?” He won’t let that be enough—you know he won’t. He’ll tease it out of you. His presence is dizzying and distracting. You’re not even sure you can form another complete sentence. 
“I-it’s just you,” you finally choke out. 
But it’s not enough for him. “What about me?”
Everything, you want to say. You want to tell him how you feel. “Logan, I…” But you can’t. I’m not in love, that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself of for months.  
“Go on, say it. What’s got you going?” He tightens his grip around your waist, his thumbs rubbing gently along your back. He leans down, his lips brushing against your forehead. “Use your words, sweetheart.” 
Your eyes flutter shut, and you take a deep breath. He’s everything and he’s everywhere. He’s in your head and in your hands. You can smell the musk and the pine and a hint of mint and that extra thing that is just distinctly him. He’s warm and his breath ever-so-lightly tickles your ear as his forehead rests against yours. 
And then finally, it comes out.
“I want you, Lo.”
You open your eyes and immediately notice the change in his expression. That cocky grin is gone. He isn’t teasing anymore. This is something else. Want. No, stronger than that. Desire. Adoration. Longing. Like those four words undid something in him. Untangled some knot that had been there for far too long. Almost like he thought you maybe wouldn’t want this. That maybe someone wouldn’t want him. 
So, you say it again. “I want you, Logan.” 
He shuts his eyes. “Fuck.” 
And then he’s pushing you down onto the mattress. His lips find their way to yours, crashing like the world is about to end. You can feel his hunger, his desperation. He rests one hand next to your head for balance and slips his free hand underneath the shirt he lent you. He’s exploring the curves of your body, the dips and turns, eventually pulling the shirt up and over your head. 
He comes up for air as his fingers play with the clasp of your bra. You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “This okay?” He asks, waiting for your approval. You nod and the hooks are immediately undone. You arch your back so he can slip the bra off. “Fuck, pretty girl,” he mumbles. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” 
His hands find their way to your chest, his thumbs brushing over your nipples, teasing you, pinching lightly. 
“Lo, please. Need you,” is all you can say. 
He trails a line of kisses down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, the center of your chest, his mouth traveling achingly slowly until finally landing on one of your tits. He kisses your nipple before taking it into his mouth, biting lightly and licking the hurt away. 
“Please,” you beg again. 
He comes up for a moment. “Please what?” He asks before moving on to the other side. 
“Need you so bad,” You whimper. But he doesn’t stop. “N-need you to touch me.”
He pauses again. “Think I’m already doing that, darlin’. Gonna have to be more specific.” 
“Fuck me, please.”  
He shakes his head. “Wanna make you feel good first, pretty girl.” 
You sit up a bit, ready to protest. “But you are. You’re making me feel so—” You’re cut off by the sight of him staring up at you as he trails kisses down your stomach, stopping at the top of your panties. He grabs your hips and pushes you further into the center of the bed. His fingers slip under the hem of your panties, waiting for your approval. You nod, and he practically tears them right off you. 
Logan kisses the inside of your thigh, slowly charting a path toward your core, his thumb tracing circles on the other thigh. You’re already squirming under his touch. “Lo,” You whimper. “Please—Fuck!” Without warning, his tongue licks a long stripe up your folds to your clit. His lips lock around it, sucking softly, his fingers suddenly teasing your entrance before slipping a finger inside.
“So tight darlin’. Gonna feel so good,” he mumbles against you, the vibrations of his deep voice sending a jolt up your spine. 
He’s taking his time, tasting you, savoring you. His tongue laps at your cunt, licking slow circles as his finger pumps in and out. You need more.
“Lo,” You call out, your back arching in pleasure. But he doesn’t answer. He keeps going as if he’s gotten lost in you, as if there’s nothing that can possibly be said to bring him back. “Lo, please,” you moan again. 
He chuckles against your core. “Please what, pretty girl?” He mumbles. You can feel his smirk against you.
“M-more,” you beg. You can feel his smirk grow wider as his motions stall. “No don’t stop, please don’t stop.” 
He looks up at you, his finger buried deep inside your cunt, his lips just inches from your clit. “Wanna take my time with you, darlin’.”
“Y-you c-can,” You stutter. “W-whatever you want. Just need more.”
“More?” He repeats, arrogantly tilting his head. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight. 
“Yes, please.” But you know by the look in his eyes that you’re getting more than you bargained for. 
He adds another finger, pumping in and out faster than before. His lips latch onto your clit, sucking roughly. It’s overwhelming, and you know he isn’t going to let up. His tongue draws circles around your core, flicking harshly before ruthlessly sucking again. You can feel a third finger prodding your entrance before slipping in and stretching you out. 
“This what you wanted?” He teases.
“Lo, I—” It’s too much, you can’t speak. 
“I’ve got you darlin’. I’m right here. You’re doing so good for me.” His words by themselves practically send you over the edge. 
“’M’so close Logan,” You whimper, spurring him on. His pace quickens; his circles become harder. You can feel your walls tightening around his fingers. 
“I know, pretty girl. Wanna feel you come on my fingers. Can you do that for me?” 
You can’t even speak anymore. All you can manage is a hum that passes for an affirmative. He pumps in and out of you, still alternating between sucking your clit and circling it with his tongue. 
“Look so beautiful like this darlin’. So fucking beautiful,” He husks. And that’s all it takes to make that liquid heat, that tension building in the bottom of your stomach, cut like a knife, pouring out of you. Your vision blurs as you let yourself go. You chant his name like it’s a prayer, a spell, something otherworldly. He finally slows down, letting you ride out your orgasm. 
He pulls out and away from you, crawling up your body so that he’s on top of you. He’s absolutely huge; his arms rest next to your head, caging you in. “You alright sweetheart?” He asks, one hand coming up to cup your cheek as he presses a chaste kiss against your forehead. 
“Hm,” You hum. “Like you like this.”
There’s that cocky smirk again. “Like what?”
“O-on top of me,” You admit freely now. Your arms come up to wrap around his shoulders, but he quickly pins them above your head.
He smiles widely, his forehead coming down to rest on yours. You can feel his erection press against your core through his boxers. And—fuck—he’s big. “Gonna fuck you like this then, okay pretty girl?”
“P-please,” you stutter. 
He sits up, pulling his boxers down, revealing just how big he is. You swallow harshly, sitting up and watching as he casts his boxers to the side. He doesn’t let you watch for long. He pins you down again, one hand keeping your hands above your head and supporting his weight, while the other guides his cock to your entrance. His slides against your folds before slowly sinking inside you. You can’t help but arch your back to meet his chest. 
Everything is slow. He’s taking his time again, letting himself feel every inch of you, giving you the chance to adjust to the size of him. His free hand reaches in between your bodies and finds your clit, drawing slow, gentle circles. 
His forehead rests against yours as he thrusts into you. “Wanted this for so long,” he confesses, his thrusts growing faster. “Always wanted you, darlin’.” You can feel your heart burst in your chest as his lips meet yours. You can feel his hunger, his desire. 
“Wanted you too,” You whisper against his lips between kisses. 
His cock rubs against your walls, hitting that sweet spot every single time. He’s massive, stretching you out with each pump. He builds speed, his thrusts growing rougher as his fingers circle your clit faster. 
He whispers praises in your ear. “You feel so good, pretty girl. So fucking tight. Need you, darlin’. Always.” 
Always. 
It’s all too much. The words, the vulnerability, the feeling of him rutting into you with no end in sight. The promise of something else, something more. 
“Logan, I’m gonna…” You trail off, your walls tightening around him. It’s all so overwhelming. But if you’re being honest, you never want it to end. This. This feeling. Him inside you. Him around you. 
He curses under his breath, his thrusts becoming sloppier and faster as he chases his orgasm. “I know darlin’. Wanna feel you come on my cock.” He keeps his fingers steady on your clit, circling roughly, chasing your orgasm too. 
“Lo,” You mumble. “It’s so good. Y-you’re so good, so b-beautiful.” You’re a bumbling mess, but you want him to feel good too, to know what he’s doing to you, to know that he deserves this. Deserves to be wanted. 
You feel wetness on his cheeks as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Always wanted you,” he whispers again against the shell of your ear. “Always gonna want you.” 
The tension snaps, and you feel blaring white heat ripple through your body. Logan somehow buries himself deeper inside you as you come, your walls squeezing him tighter. 
“F-fuck,” he groans. “Where do you want—”
You cut him off this time. “Inside, please,” you pant. “Safe.” He curses under his breath and calls out your name as he fills you up. 
“So perfect,” he whispers. “So fucking perfect.”
His thrusts slow down as he finishes, and he slowly pulls out of you. But he doesn’t pull away. He keeps you close, moving you both towards the headboard. It takes a minute, but he manages to keep you close to his chest as he undoes the covers and gets you both inside them. 
Logan holds you tightly, peppering kisses against your temples every now and then. 
He’s the first to speak. “When I said always…” He trails off. You brace yourself for the worst. It was just the heat of the moment, bub. ‘M’sorry I said it. This shouldn’t happen again. It was a one-time thing and I—
“I meant it.”
You look up at him, eyes wide. He smiles. But it’s not that cocky smile, not that self-satisfied shit-eating grin. It’s that other thing again. Longing. 
“I meant it, too.” 
tags: @cypherpt5fttaehyung
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envy-of-the-apple · 1 month ago
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Family Man Part 2
Yandere!Gojo Satoru x reader
Part One
Word Count: 8.9k
thx to a very lovely commissioner!!!
Synopsis : Two months after Satoshi’s death, you and your daughter struggle to move on. You’re so lucky that Gojo is there to pick up the pieces.
(Yandere, smut, oral sex both m/f receiving, lactation kink, implied depression, masochistic gojo, ooc gojo, never rlly fixed that, reader has dark skin, xenophobia(NOT by gojo))
Sometimes, you're in bed, and feel like he's right beside you. 
For a moment, the last two months disappear. You feel whole again. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you turn around, words on your tongue, already ready to smile and greet him with a kiss. 
He isn't there. Nothing's behind you. 
And you feel empty all over again. 
It's better somedays. The emptiness. It's like a looming visage of gloom. Farther away one day, in your bed the next. Lately, it's growing bigger and bigger. A dark cloud on your shoulder, resting heavier and heavier on your back. 
Grief. Mourning. Loss. 
When you open the door, the mailman smiles cheerily at you. 
"Morning!" He chirps. "Lovely weather we're having today."
You nod, silent as he begins to dig through his bag. He's younger than you, you note. By a decade, at the very least. Barely in his twenties. When you were his age, you were still back home, in the village. When you were his age, Japan was just a faraway country, hardly worth your notice. 
He hands you your dues. You take them with a respectful thank you. And then you wait for the inevitable. 
On cue, his smile fades. Something pitying fills his gaze. You force yourself to stare right back at him. Insecurity bites at you, and you know he's staring at your dull face. The circles underneath your eyes. 
In the background, Reina babbles. He's forced to take his eyes off of you momentarily. 
"I heard about your husband." He starts, still staring inside your home. Your hands tighten into fists. "I'm sorry for your loss." 
He bows. So do you. 
"Thank you." You tell him, rehearsed, just like you practiced millions and millions of times. "I...appreciate it." 
He smiles, as if he think he did something, made your life a little easier. You let him bathe in his graciousness, before you shut the door. Away from the sunlight, away from fabricated sympathies. You finally feel like you can breathe again. 
It's been like this ever since Satoshi died. 
Car wreck. Some drunk had driven too close to the curb. Satoshi had been walking home. He'd missed the bus, he does that often. It's a usual quirk of his, you'd often found it adorably clumsy. Being late was harmless. He wasn't supposed to die for it. It'd been an instant kill, for the both of them. No other witnesses. The scene was cleaned up by the time you got there. The officers kept you in dread for four hours. In that time, you could almost convince yourself that it wasn't him. The reason why he wasn't answering your calls was because his phone had died. He was lost on the other side of town. He was anywhere else, doing anything else. 
You were brought to identify the body. Your eyes couldn’t deny what you saw.
You think a part of yourself died with your husband, too. You drift through life like a ghost. Mindless, numb. Colors have all bled into grayish blues. You don’t really feel much of anything anymore.
Reina squeals. You blink back to reality.
She’d dropped her toy. You pick it up. It was a purple stuffed rabbit. Satoshi had gotten it for her the day she was born. She doesn’t even sleep without it.
These days, Reina is the only thing that makes you get up in the morning, even when you don’t want to. She’s the only thing you push yourself for.
You don’t know where you’d be without her.
She’s giggles when you hand it back. She doesn’t even know. How can you even begin to tell your infant that her father is no longer coming home? Someone so new at life should not experience death this soon. It’s a sin. Someone has cursed her. It’s the only explanation you could give.
You kiss her on the top of her head. Her baby hairs are still growing. They resemble yours. Every part of her was you. When you look at her, you don’t see Satoshi.
You used to tease him about it; now, you wish there was just a tiny bit of him on her face.
Or maybe it was a good thing? Did you even want to see the man you loved, mourned for, and hated to think about in your daughter’s eyes? Would it break you even further?
You don’t have to think about questions like those. You have more important things to worry about. When you rifle through the mail, your heart sinks.
Warnings, bills, everything that Satoshi used to handle. Even when your world stopped, the rest of the planet didn’t: ever turning, ever malevolent.
You place the bills down. Reina babbles something.
You bend down to pick her up, she screams in delight when you place her on your lap, peppering her face with kisses.
And maybe your world hadn’t stopped, not just yet.
“There are stains on your blouse.”
You glance down before shrugging.
“Reina dropped her food.” You shrug. “I didn’t have time to clean it up.”
Kiyo doesn’t look very happy about your excuse. She doesn’t say anything about it, preferring to glare at you in silent disapproval as she always does. Usually, you’d have Satoshi acting as a barrier between you and your mother-in-law. For obvious reasons, that wasn’t feasible at the moment.
Reina was being entertained by your father-in-law. Satoshi had inherited Isamu’s bald spot as well as his gentleness. Reina kicked her feet as Isamu muttered soft words, as though they were communicating, even though Reina hadn’t even said her first words yet.
Another milestone Satoshi would miss.
“We made adjustments to the will,” Kiyo announces. “Everything will be passed onto Reina when she comes of age.”
You nod, not very interested in politics and lands. Satoshi came from a traditional family. Japanese nobility, though he wasn’t fond of talking about his background. You were always fine with it. You never married him for the money, despite what your mother-in-law thinks.
On cue, Kiyo snaps her fingers. You blink in her direction.
She frowns, but you’ve never seen her smile in your presence.
“I would appreciate if you could pay attention when discussing my grandchild’s future.” She more or less hisses.
“I am,” you give. “Trust me, no one else is more invested in my daughter’s future than me.”
It makes her even more mad, but you’re too drained to play ‘submissive daughter-in-law’ with her. From the moment Satoshi introduced you as his fiance’, Kiyo had hated you. Nothing you did could make her like you. Not even when you learned the language perfectly, immersed yourself in Japanese culture.
She never said it out loud, but you knew what she thought of you. She wanted someone different for her son: someone with pale skin, straight hair, and Japanese heritage.
You wonder if she blames you for his death.
“You haven't gone to visit him,” She says, after she breaks her death stare, “you should.”
A part of you wants to say no, but you’re in her home, and you know she doesn’t take it lightly when guests (not family, you were not family) reject her. So you do as she suggested. You rise, glancing at Reina before ultimately stepping out of Satoshi’s childhood home.
He was just as you had left him. His gravestone stood tall and proud. Even next to all the other graves, his was the tallest. It must be Kiyo’s doing. No matter the gripes she had about you, her child would always reach for the skies.
His incense had to be switched. You did so, throwing out the burnt sticks and replacing them with new ones. You watched the smoke flicker away from his altar. A lone picture of him, a shy smile. It was from back when he was younger. His hair was still there. An office job hadn’t dulled his eyes.
You wanted to keep the ashes. Just a tiny piece of him, tucked by your own altar you had. Kiyo had refused, wanting the entire body to be cremated and kept in one piece. Too broken, you hadn’t pushed. Now, all you were left with his clothes and the fading scent on the pillows. You regret not fighting more that day.
You don’t cry. Not today. A part of you is proud. It feels like it’s much too early to feel so numb to this grave. It’s too early for this to feel normal.
You touch the cold stone. It’s smooth underneath your fingertips.
Your in-laws are right inside the house. You still feel lonely.
“You shouldn’t have left.” You told the tomb. “You shouldn’t have abandoned me like this.”
When you curse Satoshi’s grave, you could have sworn you felt a tiny tingle by your neck.
On Thursdays, you take Reina shopping.
She’s a hit with the local farmers market. The shopkeepers coo at her giggles and beautiful eyes as you haggle prices for vegetables and grains. It’s nice to get back on routine. Even with everything going on.
The bills were still on the counter when you left. More and more were coming in. You feel like you were being buried alive.
Reina kicks her feet. When you look at her, her chubby cheeks are stretched in the wide smile. You smile back, and then you pepper her face with kisses. These days, you’ve opted out of the bus, trying to save some money. It’ll just be until you find a job. Then, you can take as many Air-conditioned rides as you want.
There’s a honk. You ignore it. A car rolls to a stop beside the sidewalk. You take a peek, and then you stop and stare.
“Mr. Gojo?” You ask.
“Hey! Long time!” The man waves cheerily.
You give a timid smile, waving. Reina, your polar opposite, screams in delight. She frantically leans out of your arms as though she could get to Gojo by sheer will. You quickly rearrange your hands to balance her.
“What’re you doing out there?” He frowns. “Especially in this heat?”
“Ah.” Subconsciously, you wipe the sweat off your neck. “We were heading home from the market.”
He brightens. “Wanna hop in? It’s way too hot to walk that far.”
You smile, about to politely decline but then you remember infants shouldn’t be in this weather for too long.
Gojo’s car is luxurious, but the biggest relief is the cool air blowing over your heated skin. Reina is ecstatic to be next to Gojo. She babbles something, reaching out her tiny arms. Gojo takes her immediately.
“And how’s the prettiest girl in the world doing, today?” He grins, lifting her above his head. She coos.
You’re not really sure how Gojo walked into your life. You met him once before. That day when Satoshi had a mental breakdown and practically ran away from home. Gojo was so ansty back then, and it made sense why he and your husband got along so well.
He was the one who brought home Satoshi’s essentials from work—his computer, his notes—and then he started delivering Satoshi’s work mail. Then, sometimes, he’d stop by for lunch. And then he started bringing toys for Reina. Two months passed, and you know him now.
Not well. But you know Gojo enough to slip into the passenger seat, watching how he handles Reina.
“Okay, Car ride!” He tells her. She claps her hands as he gently hands her back to you.
“Thank you again, Mr. Gojo.” You tell him. “Really, this means a lot.”
He waves you off, starting the car. “Don’t worry about it, Seriously. Got nothin’ better to do anyway. Also, I told you already, call me Satoru.”
You smile, shifting away. You don’t know why Gojo is insistent on helping a widow. He was the friend of your late husband (though, strangely, Satoshi never spoke of the man before or after the quick introductions). Maybe it’s guilt. But unlike the rest of the people who knew, Gojo never once looked at you like that as though you were in pieces in front of him. It was nice, finally having someone like that. Someone who doesn’t see you as the widow of a dead man.
He was a nice young man. You shouldn’t be so quick to assume everyone has an underlying motive.
Maybe some people were just as they are. Nice.
“Grocery shopping?” He mentions to your bag. It creases under your grip.
You nod. “Dinner. You’re welcome to join, but I’m not making anything special.”
“I’d never pass up a meal from you, ma’am,” Gojo says, happily.
You like to keep to yourself, but he was driving you home. It was the least you could do to pay back his hospitality, as well as the other things he had done for you. Honestly, your bucket for Gojo’s hospitality wasn't yet empty.
When the car rolls to a stop, Gojo hops out, opening the door before you can touch it. You thank him, Reina huddled safely in your arms and fast asleep. Gojo grins, not before grabbing your groceries and leading the way.
Your house is sparser than it had been just months ago. Less decoration. Less silly memoirs. No pictures. You dumped them all, stored them in a tiny box before locking them all in the attic. You couldn’t bring yourself to throw it away.
Gojo waltzes into your home like he owns it. You don’t mind. He’s young, still in his twenties, at his prime. These days, you can feel things start to break down within you. Your shoulder hurts when you sleep on it the wrong way. You have to be more careful about picking up things from off the ground. You can’t tell whether this has to do with the remnants of pregnancy or your age, but you’re envious of Gojo’s youthful strength either way.
He places the bags on the counter. By then, Reina’s awake. She blearily blinks at you. You were hoping she’d stay asleep for a little while longer.
“I can watch her!” Gojo pipes up, extending his hands. Reina’s overjoyed to be handed over. It’s nice to have your hands full with something else other than baby
You listen to them giggle while you get started on dinner. It’s your usual dance. Potatoes. The sounds of boiling water. You want to make something simple, but Gojo is here, and you don’t want to disappoint your guest. By the time you’re back out, it’s nearly an hour, and the food has yet to be served.
They don’t seem to mind. Gojo had taken Reina onto the floor. You don’t complain. It’s where she usually played anyway. He was driving one of her wooden cars on the carpet, running it across the floor, as Reina clapped to her heart’s content. You could only watch, heart strangely numb.
He’s good with her.
Like Satoshi was.
You clear your throat. Gojo looks up.
“Food’s ready.” You tell him with a stiff smile. “Why don’t you wash up? I’ll take care of her.”
“Be good, okay?” He pats Reina’s head before standing up. You take her into your arms.
She’s tired from playing. Reina settles in the crib rather nicely. It’s relieving. When she’s asleep, you can’t bring yourself to leave. You watch her. Her chest rises and falls. She snores. It’s the most adoring noise you’ve ever heard.
When you head back to the kitchen, Gojo’s already back. He grins, clearly eager.
“You cooked a lot.” He comments when you two finally settle down. “Not that I’m complaining!”
“I hope it’s to your liking,” you say as always.
And it is. Gojo never hides from giving his compliments. He’s so genuine and sincere, and it makes you a bit bashful.
“Mrs. Sawai, this stuff right here is sometimes the highlight of my day,” he says. You shake your head.
“It’s true! You have talent. You should open up a restaurant or something! Wait no, don’t do that...you’d be booked for years, and I’ll never eat your cooking again.” That makes you laugh. He seems pleased for some reason.
“Thank you,” you say, “I appreciate that.”
“How was your week? Your students?” You prod.
“Good. They’re all good!” He chirps back. “I was out of town for the week, so returning to my precious students was the best.” He sighs. “Sometimes, I wish I could just pack them all in my suitcase and take ‘em with me. They’re the cutest things.”
He said he taught at a religious school, which you found strange because Gojo didn’t really strike you as religious. Nevertheless, he seemed very passionate about teaching. It was rather endearing.
Did Satoshi ever have that kind of passion for his job?
“Reina reminds me of them. The youth.” Gojo adds. “Endless potential. The kids are all like...seeds, right? They just need the proper care to bloom.”
“That’s a nice way of looking at things,” you say.
When dinner’s over, you gather the utensils and bowls. Gojo offers to help, but you don't bite, insisting that he rests. It gives you time to decompress. As much as you like Gojo, he’s a bit severe. You can’t be around him for too long, he’s too bright. His companionship is much like a furnace. Warm, but too much, and you burn.
When you return, you expect him to put his shoes back on, waiting by the door.
Instead, Gojo is perched on the counter—his hands card through your mail.
You stare. He doesn’t seem particularly surprised at being caught. He doesn’t startle; he barely spares you a glance, perusing over your bills like they were his. You know you should say something. Anger. It should bubble up instead of the shame. You open your mouth—
“How much?” He suddenly asks.
You fumble. “What?”
He waves the envelopes. “How much is it?”
You say nothing. He shrugs, as if that’s an answer itself.
Gojo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a checkbook. You move when he plucks a stray pen from the counter.
“What are you doing?” You ask, incredibly lost.
“I’m not real good with money.” He sheepishly admits before tearing off the slip and handing it to you. “But this should be enough, right?”
You stare at the amount. You’ve never held this much money before.
“I can’t accept this.” You instantly say. Instinct.
You go to hand this back. He puts a hand on his chin.
“Tell you what.” He tells you. “If I gotta take this back, I’m just gonna head to the bank, cash it in myself, and throw all the money into the river.” He grins at your horrified expression. “And it’ll all be in Yuan, so even if someone fishes it out, no one’s gonna be able to use it. One way or another, that money’s getting outta’ my bank.”
His voice softens, akin to butter. It melts into your ears.
“This isn’t out of obligation or anything. I’m giving this to you because I want to help my friend. That’s it.”
Gojo has never looked at you in pity, not like the others. He’s always looked at you like...well, you could never understand his expression. You stare at him. His sunglasses have tilted over, showcasing those gorgeous blue eyes.
Why? Why are you doing this? You want to ask him. It’s killing you inside. Is it pity for the wife of a dead friend? Why was he doing this to you?
You think of Reina. Happy giggling, Reina, with your eyes and your hair.
“It’s not like I don't have any to spare. I’m, like, loaded,” Gojo continues with his usual snark, and you think of the fancy black car parked in front of your tiny house. “And if that isn’t enough for you, just think of it as me paying you back after all those times I’ve eaten your food.”
You lower your gaze when you take the check.
“I’ll pay you back—”
“—I won’t accept it.” He grins, and you have to smile at his tenacity.
“Thank you. No, really.” You keep the check close to your chest. “Thank you, Mr.Gojo.”
He angles his sunglasses down. He looks expectant. Just this once.
“Thank you, Satoru.”
“No problem!” He pops his frames back into place.
You see him off. When he’s behind the wheel, he gives an excited wave. You shyly wave back.
And then you feel a touch right on your back. When you turn, there’s nothing but air.
Sometimes, you dream of home.
Your real home. The village is far, far away from Japan. Where you lived with your parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. On sweltering summer nights, you and the other children would sleep on the terrace underneath the stars. There were dirt paths, and rolling hills but the sky was clear every night.
In the village, tradition was everything. You used to hate it. Every day was the same. An endless cycle. You used to dance back then, your family had pushed you into it. As a child, you thought it was stupid.
Maybe that’s what pulled you towards the city—bustling roads, people everywhere. Your college was a town in and of itself. You met so many new people every day.
Satoshi was one of them.
When you brought them to your family, everyone was in awe. He was a foreigner. He was well-off, too; he came from a traditional Japanese family.
It was your Nani who pulled you aside as your family gushed about him.
“Are you sure about this one?” She had asked.
You nodded. Back then, you were young and in love. He was everything you could have dreamed of. New, exciting.
She doesn’t smile.
“Be careful.”
You remembered her words, even after you ran off with Satoshi to Japan. You remembered her words even after Satoshi assured you he wanted you to stay home and he’d work. You remembered her words when Reina was born. You remembered her words when you and Satoshi’s lives were perfect and happy.
And then you woke up.
Your village was gone. Instead of waking up in a pile of your siblings, you were alone on a giant bed.
It’s dark in your home. Satoshi hated having the lights off.
You looked to the crib. Reina was still asleep. During nights like these, you often bring her to sleep with you. It still isn’t enough, sometimes.
You’re a terrible mother. Why isn’t your own daughter enough for you?
Careful not to wake her, you slip out of bed, walking into the closet. You reach up, feeling your way on one of the shelves.
The photo album is dusty. You cough a bit when you open the book.
There’s you. Younger, stupider, garbed in your traditional dance dress. You always found that outfit so itchy. The photo was taken right after you’d placed first in one of your last competitions. Even in the photo, you had this look of disdain, holding that trophy like it was nothing but a heavy burden.
You still have that trophy a decade later.
You flip another page. Your parents. Your cousins. Your Aunts and Uncles. You stare at the photo of you holding your baby cousin. He was the same age as Reina when that picture was taken. That was ten years ago.
You can’t remember the last time you saw your family. Reina hadn’t met her grandparents, her own cousins. You never got the chance to. Satoshi was always so anxious about leaving Japan.
They’ve seen her, through video calls and photos. But that’s different than touching her, bonding with her.
You stare at the photo of you posing with the rest of your siblings and cousins. Strangely, you feel like you robbed something from Reina.
You miss home.
You cry until the album shuts itself closed, and the sun starts peeking through the windows.
“You good?” Satoru suddenly asks.
You blink, eyelashes fluttering as you stare at him. He’s on the floor again, watching Reina as she clacks a few wooden blocks together. It isn’t quiet. The babbling, too. She’d already knocked over the tower Satoru had built. He didn’t seem too upset by her destruction.
“Oh,” you say, “yes. Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”
As discretely as you can, you rub at your eyes, hoping that would shoo the dark circles away. It doesn’t help.
“I...just haven’t been sleeping too well these days. That’s all.”
Reina says something, not too happy with the lack of attention. Satoru gives her another block. He’d given her a bunch of toys, this time. You weren’t sure where to even store half of them. If he kept this up, pretty soon Reina’s entire room will be filled with dolls mirrors, and blocks.
“What’s been going on?” He asks.
You’re not sure how to answer that. You aren’t sure what’s been going on yourself. All that you know is that it’s getting worse. You can’t sleep at night, most nights like there’s something pressing you down. Things are going missing. You feel like you’re being watched constantly over and over again.
It only goes away whenever Satoru’s around. Maybe that’s why you’re more tolerant of his space.
“It’s nothing,” you say, “I’ve just misplaced a few things. It’s been aggravating looking for them.”
“Hm.” He cocks his head, you can’t decipher his tone. “Really?”
“I’ll find them eventually.”
He’s silent for a few more moments and then—
“Maybe you’re haunted.”
You laugh. It’s mean and sardonic, but you haven’t laughed in a while, and you hide away when Satoru stares.
“A ghost?” You question. “Those don’t exist.”
In the village, superstition was everywhere. Guess that never changed, no matter what corner of the world you ran to.
“Not a ghost.” He corrects. “Maybe something else.”
You hum, unamused. Satoru turns to Reina with an all-too-wide smile on his face.
“It’ll be right behind you, and you won’t even know it.” He tells her. “Then, it’ll draw closer, and closer, and closer until....it gets ya—”
To further his point, his hands shoot out to lightly jostle her. Reina squeals, absolutely thrilled.
Then, Satoru turns to you.
“Or something like that.”
You aren’t impressed.
“Ghosts aren’t real.” You tell him.
“They certainly aren’t.” He agrees. “But other things are.”
Satoshi acted strangely two days before his death.
He was always anxious, but this was even worse than before. Constantly looking behind him, like they’d be something there. You know he wouldn’t sleep. He’d just lay there, shifting in panic.
You don’t prod until you find him in the bathroom in clear hysterics.
“I messed up,” he mumbles over and over again. “I messed up. I messed up.”
“Satoshi.” You beg, kneeling on the tile next to him. “What are you doing? What’s going on?”
“I messed up.” He tells you again. “I keep messing up.”
And then he sobs. He cries so loudly, you’re worried it might wake up Reina. You hug him. Hold him close to your chest, letting him cry himself out.
“I’m sorry.” He tells you. “I’m sorry. I love you. I love Reina. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” You ask.
He looks at you then.
“For cheating.”
You remember every detail. The crinkle in his eyes. The beginning stages of wrinkles in his face. A picture entirely stamped into your memory.
“I forgive you.” You immediately say. “I—I forgive you. We—we can work through this.”
“We can’t.” He shakes his head. “I’m so sorry. You deserve better. She deserves better, too. I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t say anything when you prod. Who, how, when. Your husband cheated on you. You aren’t even allowed to grieve your dying marriage when you have to grieve your dead husband.
You meant what you said. You forgave him. You would have worked through it. Fixed it. Because your marriage with Satoshi was perfect.
Perfect.
Perfect.
It was a perfect marriage when he never stood up for you in front of his mother. It was a perfect marriage when all he did back from work was eat and sleep. It was a perfect marriage when he cheated on you.
Rose-tinted glasses. Maybe your relationship wasn’t the most perfect.
But it was fixable.
Reina’s crying in her crib. The thing on your chest is back.
You fumble through the dark, reaching for her. She’s crying even louder when you pick her up, even when you rock her in your arms.
“Please stop.” You beg. “Please stop crying.”
She doesn’t. The pressure gets bigger.
“Got any plans for the weekend?” Satoru’s asking when you’re finished putting away the groceries. He’d offered you a ride again. You wondered when you stopped being surprised at his frequent pop-ins.
“The same as always,” you respond.
You’re not used to the house being so quiet. Reina’s always doing something. For an infant, she’s rather loud.
But she isn’t here today. Kiyo wanted her Grandaughter for the night. You obliged, letting your Mother-in-law whisk Reina away. Was she even your mother-in-law anymore?
“So nothing?” Satoru prods, and you wonder why he’s so persistent on the answer. Maybe he wants to tease you.
The differences between you and him are staggering. He’s young, still in his twenties, he probably still goes out clubbing, drinking, whatever kids his age are into. You are...older, a mom, unsure if the tight skirts you wore 15 years ago would still fit you.
“If you don't got any plans, why don’t you hang out with me tonight?”
You stare at him.
“Don’t gimme that look. You act like I’m gonna rob you.” He complains. “Let yourself loose a bit. What do you even do for fun, these days?”
That stumped you. Apart from lounging around, sulking, job hunting, revolving around Reina, you haven’t done much. When’s the last time you talked to someone other than Satoru?
“There’s a bar that opened up. Not too far from here.” He muses. “Wanna go?”
You hesitate, “I—I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not good at handling alcohol—”
“Same! Total lightweight.” He gushes. “It’ll still be fun, though! What do you say?”
Why, you want to ask. Why is he so insistent on spending time with you. Asking about you. About Reina. What does he want from your broken family? Your mind can’t piece together the images—connect the dots.
“Okay,” you say instead.
Three hours later, you’re dressed in the most flattering clothing in the back of your closet. Satoru looks pristine as always, and you wonder if there’s ever a chance he could look any less put together. Under the dim lights, he’s almost glowing. You can’t stare at him for too long.
The conversation is light, not too purposeful. You wander from one topic to the next. He talks about his co-workers. His school. You’ve always wondered about this teaching job. He seemed to never want to shut up about his students, but whenever you try to pry about the details, he starts to drift away. The most you’ve gotten from him was rambling about how it was a private religious school before he sprung into something else.
“Did you have any pets?” He asks, “Growing up, I mean.”
You shrug. “There were a lot of stray dogs, in my hometown. We would feed them, but no. No pets.”
“You?” You prod.
He takes a moment, genuinely thinking.
“My family had a dog, not too long after I was born. After that, nothing.” You were surprised, he answered. The alcohol must make his lips a little looser.
“I think having a dog would be nice,” you muse, mostly to yourself, “maybe an older one. Less energy.”
“What pet do you think I should have?” He asks.
You stare at him. He’s grinning.
“A rock,” you respond, and when he laughs, you laugh a bit, too.
“I like it when you smile like that,” he says when his voice recovers. “You get all blushy.”
You frown, discretely checking your face in the glass.
“I don’t blush.” You say. “My skin’s too dark.”
He tips his sunglasses down, staring at you with those pretty blue eyes. You shift away. His gaze doesn’t let you get far.
“Not really,” he murmurs, tilting his head. “It’s subtle, but it’s still there. It’s a nice color.”
He’s teasing you. You know that. Still, you look away. He laughs again. It sounds like twinkling bells.
“How’s everything holdin’ up with the house?” He asks when you’re nursing your 3rd drink. “I know you had a couple of issues earlier.”
You shrug, lips loose, feeling warm. “I don’t think I have to worry about it. Not anymore.”
“Hm? Why’s that?”
“I’m thinking of going back home.”
He stops messing with his drink. You don’t notice, thoughts hazy.
“Back...to your country?” Satoru asks carefully.
You nod absentmindedly. “I only came here because of Satoshi. Now that he’s...I think it’s best for Reina if we go back.”
You want her to live with her maternal culture. You want her to meet your side of the family finally. Maybe, when she’s older, you can put her in your old dance garments. She’ll probably hate it, much like you did. She’ll be good at it, much like you were.
He’s silent, swirling his glass.
“Really?”
“Yes.” You feel defensive, even when you shouldn’t be. His tone was cool. Yours wasn’t. “It—it’s her home. She should see it.”
“Wasn’t she born here?” Satoru questioned. “Wouldn’t Japan be her home, then?”
You deflate.
“You’re right.” You admit. “Japan is her home, but it isn’t mine.”
You miss home. You miss the village. You’d do anything to go back to the good old times. You’d do anything to be away from this pain.
Japan was empty. Your in-laws barely tolerate you. No friends. No job. The only good memories you had were buried in a tomb, and even those rotted away by lies and deceit.
“I think you should stay,” Satoru says, voice soft.
“Why?” You ask. “I have nothing here.”
“You could.”
You look up. In the dim lights of the bar, he’s breathtaking. Everything you weren’t.
And that everything closes the distance between you and him.
It’s soft. Barely a kiss. His lips are soft; you can smell his shampoo. It lasts for a moment before you’re breaking it. You shy away, staring at the floor beneath you. Your shoes. You can hear your heart. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Satoru follows your mouth. This time, it’s bolder. You can feel his warmth, pressed against your frigid soul. He’s melting you down to bone. There’s a hand on your back, keeping you in place. Fireworks spark at the touch.
It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone like this. Not since...
And then you remember who you’re with, what you’re doing. The ring sits heavy on your finger.
You push away. Satoru falters, and you use that opportunity to stumble to your feet.
“I’m sorry,” You say, “I—I’m—”
You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing. Instead, you turn and flee out the bar. Into the cold frigid night.
You’re drunk. You can feel it in your fingertips, the way your vision gets the slightest bit dizzy when you move too fast. You cling against a random lightpost, checking your phone.
Your place wasn’t that far away. You could walk, right? But it would be safer to call a cab. Better yet, call Kiyo. Call your neighbor. Call anyone?
Oh, you just remembered that you have no one here.
Satoru finds you when you’re already crying. You can feel him on your shoulder before he even says anything.
“Hey,” he says, reaching for you, “c’mon. Let’s get out of the street—”
“Why?” You whirl onto him, so fast that even he’s surprised. “Why are you doing any of this? Reina, me, why do you care so much?”
You’re still crying, but you can feel your tears slow down the tiniest bit. You weren’t breathing. You don’t think he was either.
Satoru opens his mouth. Closes. Opens again. His smile is gone. You can see the imprint of your lipstick on his perfect pout.
“I love you.”
It feels like he just slapped you. A knife in your belly, tearing you apart. Nausea builds in your throat, threatening to spill all over the road. You can’t look at him anymore, it hurts too much. Betrayal. You’re betraying your husband. Your dead cheater husband. 
“Stop.” You beg him anyway, “Don’t say that. Never say that, I can’t think–”
“—Then don’t think.” He insists, sweet, saturated. “Don’t think about any of this.”
He kisses you again, and your mind blanks. You let him this time, and you feel yourself break over it.
This time, Satoru’s the one who breaks it, resting his forehead on yours. You still must look confused. He laughs adoringly.
“C’mon this can’t be too out of left field, right?” He asked. “I mean, I made it pretty obvious.”
He had. You were too preoccupied in your own misery to notice. Offers to drive you to the grocery store. Volunteering to take care of another man’s baby. Satoru has always been direct.
You avoid his gaze, but there’s no where to go.
“Satoru,” you hesitate. “I—I don’t feel that way.”
“I know.” He concedes, trailing his lips down your cheek. You don’t stop him.
“But you need this.” He kisses your neck. “I know you do. You’re so stressed all the time, hm? You need me. Use me. However, you want to.”
Use him. You’ve always used him. What difference would this make?
You still had a chance to stop this. There were so many reasons to stop. You were a recent widow. A single mother. He was so much younger than you—
You kiss him again to stop thinking.
You don’t know what time you stumble through your door.
Satoru hasn’t stopped touching you in the cab, walking up to your patio. If you were sober, you might have been a bit more hysterical about it, now you just wanted him never to stop.
He’s pushing you against the door, slamming it shut with your body weight. You can barely get the words out past his plush lips.
“Bedroom.” You insist.
He pulls away with a laugh. “’course, Babe.”
You’re not sure how to feel about that petname, but you don’t get a moment to complain. He’s effortlessly picking you up, and you settle on the cool comforters moments later.
Your dress is halfway up your thighs. He spares no time, reaching for the back and finding the zipper. It falls apart in his fingers. He peels the fabric off of you with a delighted sigh.
“Fuck, look at you,” he’s saying to the newly uncovered skin. “so so pretty.”
Not used to the attention, you shy away. He doesn’t let you, taking you by the chin so he can kiss you again.
He’s so different now. You feel like you’re seeing a side of him you aren’t supposed to. Long white lashes, pretty blue eyes that are drenched in want and lust. His breathing was elevated. He was excited.
It scares you.
“I...I haven’t done this in a while.” You admit when you pull back. You give him a glance, before resigning yourself to pull away the rest of the dress and dropping it to the floor. “So...Please be nice?”
You sound like a child, unsure and nervous. You hate that you can’t keep the tremor out of your voice.
“Yes, yes.” He’s nodding, staring at you like a drooling dog. “I’ll be so so nice, baby. The nicest. Just lemme’ touch you. Please, please, pretty please?”
You give a tiny nod, and he’s pouncing on you.
He’s insatiable, you don’t think he’d ever get enough. He’s pawing at your bra before it comes off completely beneath his touch. Your panties are gone too, and then you’re entirely bare beneath him.
He doesn't forget about himself, neither do you. Between his ravenous kisses, you manage to take off his jacket. Satoru helps you with his shirt, pulling it off him, showing his toned abs and pale skin. Not a single mark or blemish. He’s absolute perfection.
He must notice your hesitant fingers at his shoulders because he stops sucking on your neck with a distinct pop, still playing with your tits, leaning over to whisper in your ear.
“Touch me,” he says, “I want you to touch me.”
You feel awkward pulling your fingers down to his chest, his stomach. His skin is soft, warm. Your hands are frigid. He shivers when you graze over his abs. His skin is so pale, almost translucent. If you were to pinch him, bite him, the color would show oh so nicely.
When you pull away, he whines, nearly falling over.
“Don’t fucking tease me like that.” The way he says it is so needy. You laugh, gaining the courage to play with his hair.
He gets the control back eventually, pushing you back down so he can devour you properly.
His face is between your legs before you can comprehend it. He’s spreading you open so he can see your pussy. You’re already creaming for him. Your pussy juice is spread across your lips, making your skin glisten and shine. It’d be embarrassing if he wasn’t worse, drooling like a fucking dog before his mouth meets your cunt in a frenzied kiss.
He gives this high-pitched moan that sends a thrill up your spine the more he makes out with your clit, licking and sucking.
“Oh.” You sink against the pillows. “Satoru—Satoru-!—”
“Fuck yes—” his voice is muffled but he doesn’t stop. “You taste so good, baby. like—like fuckin’ heaven—”
You almost double over when his teeth graze your clit. Your hand reaches out immediately to grab and his hair and pull.
It does nothing. He just whines, and when he digs deeper into your pussy, you realize he likes it when you hurt him.
You pull harder and his finger presses its way into your wet hole and just the right angle to make you see stars.
“Fuck baby, ‘can barely fit my fingers.” It would sound like a complaint if he didn’t sound so far gone already. “How are we gonna fit my cock into this pussy, hm?”
He talks too much. When you shove his face deeper into your folds, it seems to shut him up and he’s back to worshipping your dripping cunt.
He’s too good. It’s all so good. You’re squeezing his head between your thighs, sure you’re suffocating him but he doesn’t seem to care. The noise is downright scandalous but you’re too far gone to give a shit about that.
It felt so good to stop thinking.
“Close.” You gasp when you hit that plateau. “I’m close. I’m—”
“Gonna cum?” he asks from underneath you, and it only seems to spur him on. “Gonna cum for me, pretty girl. Cum baby. Just let go. I gotcha’ just please please please—”
It hits and you arch your back, letting your orgasm rush past your body. It fizzes up your spine, right to your tits before you sag back to Earth. Satoru is more that happy to work you through your high before your thighs fall apart against him and he’s detaching himself from your clit with one last part kiss.
Satoru kisses you, famished. You can barely kiss back, following his lips with your own. You can taste yourself on his tongue. It’s a tangy sweetness, warmed from his spit.
“Was I nice?” Satoru asks.
You nod. He smiles.
He pulls back, sitting on his knees. You watch as he fiddles with his boxers, before pulling out his pulsing cock.
It’s not all that thick, but it’s the length that makes you shift, just the tiniest bit. He’s on the larger end. His cock looks puffy and dripping in a way that almost looks painful. He pumps himself a few times, and then you’re reaching out.
Satoru stops, watching as you rise from your earlier position, hand on his cock. Your hand is so much smaller than his, you can barely wrap your fingers around his base. He shivers at the touch, and by the time you’re fisting his cock he faltars, head falling into the crook of your neck.
“Too much?” You ask when he gasps.
“No.” He shakes his head. “No no. Keep going. Please don’t stop.”
That same whine again. Helpless and needy. When you squeeze him, he jolts.
And then you stop. You’re sure he’s about to complain but then you’re lowering yourself, keeping your eyes on him, and you give his cock a tentative lick.
You hadn’t done this in a while, and you weren’t all that sure if you could swallow all of him, but you try your best. You swirl your tongue around his tip, watching as he twitches. His cock jumps in your mouth and you have to hold his base to keep him still for you. He’s so sensitive. Every touch you give him seems to just make him even needier.
He rocks his cock into your mouth. You let him, watching as he babbles on and on.
“So so fucking good, baby.” He’s moaning, head flung back, like it’d be too much to keep looking at you. “Right—right there. Fuck fuck fuck.”
He cums fast, and it’s sudden. He’s barely holding his breath before he’s shuddering and he’s filling your entire mouth. There’s so much of it, you can’t possibly swallow it all. You mouth off his cock with a pop, pumping him until he starts twitching out of overstimulation.
Satoru is panting, still basking in that afterglow as you kiss him. He doesn’t seem too embarrassed about how quick he lasted. Then again, you don’t think he has the brainpower to feel anything right now other than pure lust. Pussydrunk, your brain gives.
You reach up, wiping away the tears collected in the corner of his eyes. A part of you wants to leave it there. He looks good like this. Pretty as an angel.
And then you look down and you see his cock has not gone down at all.
“Oh,” you murmur, “I see you’re healthy.”
“Mmh,” he says back, not exactly words but you’re not looking for a conversation right now.
Your pussy is throbbing. She wants more attention. You’re settling back into your original position as you watch Satoru rifle through his forgotten pants. He pulls out a familiar wrapper. You have to roll your eyes at his preparedness.
“You’re a bit too ready for this.” You note.
“Can you blame me?” He honestly asks. “I’ve been waiting for this for months.”
The casual admission makes you glance away. He laughs at your sudden shyness and you have to wonder how you didn’t see him before.
“Ready, baby?” He asks. This feels familiar, somehow.
He gives his cock two cursory pumps, and then he’s pushing himself into you.
It’s so much all at once. As wet as you were, his cock bullies his way into you with a fierce stretch. It’s enough to make you squeeze your eyes shut. Grin and bear it.
“Shit, you’re so fucking tight.” He curses. “How the hell did you fit a baby through here?” You can’t bring yourself to respond to his usual snark, so you claw at his back, raking your nails through his skin. He hisses and the pain seems to distract him into temporarily shutting up.
By the time, he sits his dick in your pussy, you’re close to breaking. You were right, he was way too big. Bigger than the one person you’ve always been with, so you’re not sure if you have a good gauge on size. Still, your brain short-circuits, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Mind-numb.
He’s impatient this time, not giving you a chance to adjust before he’s clumsily pulling back out only to ram himself back in. You lurch, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself from his sudden pace.
“Satoru—!” You gasp. “It’s—!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He’s apologizing, but you’re not quite sure how much he actually means it. “I’ve—I’ve just waited so—ah—long and now you’re here and it’s so—”
If it’s even possible, he gets even faster, pushes his cock even deeper into your battered pussy. The squelching of your hole and his whines into your ear make it so much more erotic than it needs to be. You give into your desire, reaching over to sink your teeth into the soft flesh of his neck. The masochist in him purrs in delight.
You notice it first. That familiar soreness in your tits. When you glance down, your nipple is leaking that familiar milky fluid.
Satoru notices too. He stops, sinking his dick entirely into you. You’ve never felt fuller.
“Oh.” You feel heat creep up your neck. You hadn’t fed Reina today, this was bound to happen. “I—I’m sorry. I—I should’ve—”
You expect him to pull out of you awkwardly. Maybe even be disgusted.
Instead, he groans.
“I’m getting dessert now, too?”
“What?”
As your answer, he leans down and latches onto your tit.
He’s messy, smearing milk all over your skin and the other breast. After a while, he picks up his pace again, resuming his pussyfucking. You’re sure the angle must be painful, him bent over you like this, but he makes no complaint. And you could care less about his discomfort right about now.
He alternates between your breasts like he can’t decide which one tastes better. It shouldn’t feel this good, watching him suckle on your tits but you can feel yourself get even tighter. He can feel it, too.
Satoru’s rambling now. You can barely keep up with his incoherent mess.
“Fuck—fuck, you’re close, arentcha’?” he’s slurring his words, spitting them out one after another. “C’mon baby, you wanna cum? Cum, then? Milk my cock, pretty baby. Just like last time.” You should be paying more attention to his words. You don't.
Everything feels like deja vu. You should be paying attention to your own words too. You don’t.
“Mhn.” You moan. “Close. Sato, I’m close. Real real close—”
Your eyes widen. So does his.
You think you just ruined everything.
And then he starts jackhammering himself into you.
“Say it again.” He demands, driving his cock deep into your cunt.
You shake your head, despite your refusal you can’t help but— “Sato, oh God. Please Sato—Don’t—”
“Again, say it again.” His fingers descend to your clit, messily rubbing tiny circles. “Don’t stop saying my name until you’ve cum.”
You obey. Sato, Sato, Sato, Sa—and then you’re tipping over the edge. He fucks you through it, keeping you on that high until he’s shuddering too.
“Fuck baby, I missed you.” He’s whispering in your ear. “I missed you so much.”
You sigh when he kisses you, still coming down to Earth. The kiss his soft, just filled with want, instead of that carnal desire. He pulls away, and just when you’re debating to let him stay the night, he’s pulling out new rubber.
“Another one?” You ask, the dots not quite connecting yet.
“Oh, c’mon.” He grins down at you. “You didn’t think we’d go for just one round, did ya?”
You’re finally back in his arms.
Satoru dreamed of this day. He’s dreamt of this for months, ever since he had to leave you with that scumbag. Now that you’re sleeping peacefully in his arms again, everything is finally right in his world.
He shifts, wanting to bring you closer to his chest, but he winces. Fuck, you really did a number on him. He didn’t know you were into biting. And he can feel the pleasant sting of your nails on his back. He’d need to be careful with his RCT for a while. He wants these marks to last for as long as possible.
And when they fade, he’s sure he won’t have to convince you too much to make more for him.
“Give...them...back.”
Oh right. He’d almost forgotten about that other tiny problem he had.
He turns to the curse. “So, enjoy the show?”
Satoshi is unrecognizable. Malformed, demented. No more eyes, tall enough to reach the ceiling. To a being like Satoru, he was still nothing.
To a non-shaman and an infant, a grade 2 curse was quite the hassle. No wonder your so exhausted these days. Your husband was cursing you.
“Give them back.” The curse rasps. “Give them both back.”
Satoru’s silent, as if he’s really thinking about it.
“Nah, I’m good.” He grins. “This one’s mine now. And about Reina...what do you think suits me best: Dada or Daddy?”
The curse roars. It’s loud enough to shake the walls. Satoru tsks.
“Careful there. You might wake the missus.” He points out.
“Mine...” Satoshi insists. “They were....mine.”
“Were.” Satoru enunciates. “And now, they’re all mine! Sorry about the change in management. Don’t worry, though. I’ll take great care of both of ‘em.”
Always wanting to have the last word, Satoru reaches over and plucks your wedding ring off your limp finger.
“So, that’s where you got attached.” He muses at the metal. “Can’t believe you’re pathetic enough to curse your own wife. Is this 'cause you're still mad about the execution?" He asks, twirling the ring in his palm. "That happened months ago, man, get over it."
A snap of his fingers. Satoshi is gone. The room gets less stuffier. You relax in your sleep, and Satoru is caressing your arm, still studying the ring. It’s cheap. Plated gold with a less valuable metal as the base.
Pathetic. He tosses it carelessly.
A few months later, Satoru proposes with a proper engagement ring.
You say yes.
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st-el-la-luna · 8 months ago
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Task Force 141 x Reader: Picture Day
NSFW 18+
When a guy keeps sending you unsolicited pictures, you impulsively reach out to your Task Force for help in an... Unconventional way.
→ harassment, non con receiving of nudes, asking for nudes, sending of nudes
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You don't want to do this. Really, it's not ideal. It's rash, and impulsive and, oh, right, insanely fucking stupid.
But, you're a spiteful person at heart. And, well, this would be the perfect response...
So, you open the Task Force group chat, type up a message and press send before you can stop yourself.
CorvidCorporal: hey guys
CorvidCorporal: can I ask a favour?
You don't have to wait long for a reply.
Captain Price: What is it, Corporal?
Ghost: No
DontDropthe: you know where to find me 😉
Gazoline: everything okay?
You sigh, type up another message, worrying your lip between your teeth.
CorvidCorporal: it's nothing serious
CorvidCorporal: just... weird
Captain Price: What is it?
Gazoline: weird how?
You bury your face in your hands for a moment, considering if you're really about to do this. Your phone buzzes again, a notification from a different chat. You open it and holy shit, another one? Hell no. You're going through with this.
You head back to the Task Force group chat.
DontDropthe: weird is my specialty
You can't believe you're doing this.
You type and retype the message a couple of times before eventually just pressing send. You shut your phone off, face burning, not wanting to think about what you just did.
CorvidCorporal: I need a dick pic
The little markers on the bottom of the screen indicating people are typing vanish then start up again. Vanish. Start up again. Vanish.
Oh, you're fucked.
What the hell were you thinking?! These were your coworkers! Your superiors! Your boss!
You scramble to explain yourself.
CorvidCorporal: forget I said anything!
CorvidCorporal: it's just this guy keeps sending me them unsolicited from different accounts because I keep blocking his ass
CorvidCorporal: I figured the best way to get him to stop would be to send one back
CorvidCorporal: you know a real power move
CorvidCorporal: just really blindside em
CorvidCorporal: but well... I lack the parts and if I were just to go to google the guy could easily figure that shit out
CorvidCorporal: it was stupid and impulsive and I'm so sorry I asked
CorvidCorporal: please don't fire me I need this job
CorvidCorporal: guys?
The entire chat is dead. But their icons show that each and everyone of them is still active. Even Ghost.
You curse yourself internally and knock your head against the wall. You shut your phone off and toss it away. Too overwhelming. Too much. You can't... Why did you do that?!
You sit on the foot of your bunk and mourn your career, face in your hands. Dishonorable discharge no doubt in your future... You're such an idiot!
Your phone buzzes from across the room. You ignore it.
Except it buzzes again. And again. And again. And–
By the seventh text tone you go to pick it up, almost feeling sick from the nasty knot of anxiety and dread in your gut.
You open the group chat.
You close the group chat.
Holy shit.
DontDropthe: see attachment
DontDropthe: see attachment
DontDropthe: see attachment
Gazoline: jesus christ soap
Gazoline: see (2) attachments
DontDropthe: see (3) attachments
Fif– sixteen pictures. Two from Gaz and fourteen from Soap.
Holy shit.
Your phone goes off again.
Captain Price: Let me know if you need anything else, Corporal
Captain Price: see (3) attachments
What the fuck?
Soap has moved on to sending you pictures directly. You dismiss a call from him in a blind panic. He immediately sends a video.
You type into the group chat with shaking hands.
CorvidCorporal: thanks
Gazoline: anytime
DontDropthe: it's only fair if you send them back
DontDropthe: i understand if your shy
DontDropthe: my doors unlocked
Captain Price: *you're
In the end, you got more than enough material to choose from.
Three from Price. Seven from Gaz. A whopping twenty nine from Soap.
You're still deciding on what picture to send (and on calming your racing heart and ignoring the growing heat between your thighs) when your phone goes off again.
Ghost: see attachment
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Please reblog to support my writing!
Comment to motivate!
masterlist!
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alatariel-galadriel · 6 months ago
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Me on my hands and knees with every MCU installment (in vain):
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also the way the blip was used exclusively for comedy in ffh makes me CRAZY. peter and may had to find a new apartment while the world reconstructed itself. peter still has all his old tshirts which means that after he died either tony or happy went to their old apartment and packed up all their belongings and kept them in storage for 5 years for no real reason at all since there was no hope of return at that point. ned and mj both dusted but we don't get to hear about their families?? did they have little siblings who are older than them now too??? ffh plays it off as "very goofy how we're all legally 21 but in reality we've been frozen at 16 years old for the past 5 years and have to find out where we fit in this new reality. lol!" NOT LOL. HORRIFYING.
#they'll introduce something SO crunchy in its implications and then never bring it up again#meanwhile i am chewing on the drywall#listen. listen listen listen for reasons i don't have time to get into right now I firmly believe that the superhero genre is not-so-#secretly urban fantasy right? It's the interweaving of the fantastical in a modern-day setting which is is PRIME material for exploring#what the fantastic would do to the familiar. how does the world change. I WANT TO SEE THE IMPLICATIONS GIVE THE WORLDBUILDING#we got SO close to the barest tiniest little morsel with the Flagsmashers in Falcon and the Winter Soldier. the show handled it poorly#(in my opinion) but YES how does half the population vanishing for FIVE YEARS and then coming back impact the world?? the people?? every#single aspect of your life would be affected whether you were blipped or not. people vanished for five years and came back to a world#that'd already mourned them. everything is completely different and nothing has changed. GOD just THINK about it.#even practically. like. what happened with leases? Property? are you legally dead? how do you prove you were blipped? how do you prove you#were UNblipped? you don't have your documents you don't know where they are! Meanwhile all of the Blipped want to go back to how#things were and everyone else has carved a place in the world without them! The world has irrevocably changed and there's no going back!!!#again with the falcon and the winter soldier they STARTED to go into this with all of the people displaced when everyone came back#That could've been FASCINATING!!! why has that never been brought up again why didn't they explore it more#oh and don't even get me started about the Sokovia Accords THOSE implications are so incredibly crunchy and i want i want I want askdgkjldf#anyways sorry for clogging up tags. I know i'm probably in the minority here but OP i feel like you'd understand my absolute insanity
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brynn-lear · 4 months ago
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When Cuckoos Throw Ores [Yandere!Jing Yuan x Reader]
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Questionable Overview: After transmigrating to Teyvat, you and Jing Yuan had lived like family on your shared apartment as getting-by descenders. But, you made an error too grave. You hid the anonymous love letters you received from the person you should’ve trusted the most— and now you’ve got yourself a broken mind. [Fic written for May June]
CWs/tags: yandere themes, isekai, moments where you wish Jing Yuan just committed murder instead so it would hurt less, mentions of failed childbirth, nadia & vlad are adorable, implied hysteria, cute n' wholesome beginning w/ found family to "man... man.", gaslighting gatekeep is JY's passion.
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"I'm an adult, Jing Yuan! I think I have the right to leave as I please."
Have you ever been so incredibly fascinated by such a mundane object that all worldly noise drowns?
"The right to trample on my heart? To leave me to drown in my despair while you obsess over a single ore without a single thought for me? I must say, it doesn’t seem very sound. Stay put while I call for Doctor Baizhu."
Have you ever had your hand reach out ever so slightly without you realizing such? For your fingers to curl— for you to seize a trinket as though you were compelled by an existence— an idea higher than any mortal comprehension? As though it was fate? As though it was a fruit you weren't meant to take a bite off?
But the most mundane of all…
"There’s no need! Because great General and Emanator of the Hunt Jing Yuan—"
Have you ever lamented a life that "never" happened?
"— I have the right to mourn the happy ending you took from me!"
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Though those uninitiated will rehash the root of events in your arrival to the chasm, the most knowledgeable would start the accounts from your arrival to Teyvat.
You did not step foot alone.
When your worldline was destroyed, so, too, was Jing Yuan's. 
Lady Ningguang greeted you both with a good measure of skepticism. You were both "descenders.", though it was soon made evident that your origins are different. He was from "Xianzhou Loufu," and you were from "Earth."  Course, despite your shared tragic circumstances, not everything shall be handed on a silver platter for unfortunate souls. Ningguang was kind enough to provide you both with a shared apartment complex near the fishing port and since then, you and Jing Yuan had a bond not so dissimilar from siblings. He got a job as a general, and your current position is a little more flexible than your previous one.
Whatever principles and studies were available in the previous realms you lived in, they were carried over in Teyvat. Each word circulating about Jing Yuan’s undefeated sword and lance techniques makes you smile; he, in turn, would enthusiastically applaud your sold artworks and STEM innovations. It makes you wholly embarrassed every time he makes what is supposed to be a celebration of his mission’s success into a congratulatory speech for what you’ve done in the same timeframe. Didn’t matter how minute it was. His comrades had already considered the long-standing tradition as a not-so-private joke.
His lack of personal praise worries you sometimes…
There’s a stark difference in your approach to this new life. You mourned for yours being gone; while he doesn’t speak much about his.
“No rush,” he'd say. “All truths shall reveal itself in due time.”
You know about his world, though vaguely. He has a striking resemblance to the character from Honkai: Star Rail. Course, that implies he had gone through similar ordeals as the character. 
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“I am an old man, there is nothing for me to grieve.” He told you once. “I have… already witnessed comrades pass, and then some. Have you encountered the phrase: there are fates worse than death?”
Jing Yuan closed his eyes.
“I… find it easier to assume that it might be the only way to put old conflicts to rest.” He shook his head and downed his final shot of baijiu. Yuan sighed, tasting the aftermath in his breath.
“It’s better to put a permanence in death than another forced rebirth.”
He poured you a shot.
"Some memories are better left forgotten. And that applies to you, too."
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Whatever he said felt untranslatable to you, hence, you gave up on making more inquiries. If the day comes and he wishes to open up, you'll be there for him anyway.
Or so you thought.
“Heard you’re planning to add another medal to your jacket.” 
Jing Yuan nearly halted from tying his long hair up. You watched his shoulders tremble, likely from trying to compose himself.
“Ha! You've heard a half-truth, I wasn't scheming on anything, it was merely handed to me.” His tone was calm, but you heard the well-hidden smugness.
You shrugged and sipped your coffee nonchalantly. 
… You seriously wish his uniform didn't hug his form that good. Just staring at him makes the room feel degrees hotter. 
You cleared your throat.
“I didn't say anything about schemes, Jing Yuan. Suspicious.”
“Oh?” He hummed, almost sultry for your ears.
…Curse him and his damn beatific smiles.
This playful banter is as natural as the dawn of day. Rather than spending the early morning getting ready for the day, you've both grown accustomed to teasing the other person. He, in his finely ironed uniform, and you, in your comfy pajamas. 
“Since when have I besmirched my name by squandering time? Rude of you to imply that slothfulness rules over my life.” Jing Yuan joked before he moved another piece. “You wound me, dear (Y/n).”
Due to the nature of the conversation, you hadn't thought of your next move much as you continued to probe him. “And what exactly are you doing right now instead of reporting to the Qixing, General?”
He smirked. “I am on-duty, am I not?”
“By talking to me?”
“I have been bound by mundane duties in both my past and current lives, and I must say, engaging with a Person of Interest such as yourself has not only been productive but also mentally stimulating.”
You paused. 
Person of Interest…?
Might as well curse him and his fancy cursive way of implying something too. 
Your nose scrunched. “Are you saying I'M on the Qixing’s watchlist?!—”
“Not in a bad light; don’t worry your pretty head over such menial matters,” he ruffled your hair as he craned over, gazing at your disgruntled morning expression with a loving vigor. “They have an eye for your talent. No Ministry would ever obsess over a clean criminal record.”
You grumbled as you attempted to fix your hair, despite lacking any energy. “Thanks, that calms me down. Especially with the talks about criminal activity on the rise and all.”
He laughed at your snarkiness.
“Is this your best attempt at prying information? I must say, your current occupation suits you. I can now place a finger as to why the thought of Lady Ningguang hiring you as a profiler put me in tremendous unease.”
“Oh don’t be a prick, Yuan.” You chuckled heartily as you gave him a playful slap— which he no doubt avoided. “But seriously, can’t you tell me more about what’s happening?”
There were no further words needed. Such rumors had been on the forefront of the people’s minds: a group of rogue “mercenaries” had found new temptations in banditry— and had the nerve to stew misfortunes on the main harbor itself. As a newly enforced general, Jing Yuan had, of course, been subjected to handling this situation under the ever-watchful gaze of the Qixing. A challenge, as he likes to label it. Whatever helps him sleep at night, you’d reply.
Although, it would certainly soothe YOUR insomnia better if he were to divulge even a hair-sliver of detail in regards to how “safe” this mission truly was.
“(Y/n), there is no cause for concern.” He pulled back, placing his hands on your shoulders. “You know my repertoire— else I wouldn’t consider you a close friend.”
Your heart ached for a second.
In small snippets from the multiple conversations you’ve had with him, you knew he kept his list of close friends few. There’s always a hint of guilt in his voice when he talks about those named Baiheng, Jingliu, Yingxing, and Dan Feng in passing. 
“And I’m just worrying over you,” you lightheartedly glared and waved your hand dismissively. “You know, like a real close friend.”
You both grinned in unison as if telling each other that neither would back down from this “argument” any time soon. He snorted and messed your hair up more. Over the time you’ve spent in each other’s company, your near-telepathic way of conversing has become quite an eerie issue for other mutual friendships. 
Not that either of you minded this. It’s always nice to be understood. 
“I know that look in your eye. Don’t add a part two from last night’s horror stories, please.”
“Then, I’ll take my leave,” he buttoned his jacket. “Last reminder before I go: you have arranged a meeting with Nadia this afternoon.”
“Thanks,” you huffed. “But unlike you, I don’t sleep in and forget my schedule.”
You swore that even after the door was closed, you heard him chuckle yet again. After that, he was gone.
Honestly, with someone with a “life-loving” temperament like him, you’re unsure if he’s easy to please— or too damn good at faking it for his good.
You heard soft knocks against your window.
Slowly, a grin forms on your lips.
“Hello, little man…” You cooed as you stood up and opened for not only the fresh Liyue morning breeze to enter…
But for a diligent little cuckoo bird to deliver its very special package as well.
You’ve always had a soft spot for animals…
“Hmm?”
Your eyes softened as it dropped its parcel and leaned its body against you, warming itself by sitting cozily on your window ledge. This little bird is quite the skilled messenger— always dropping by as soon as Jing Yuan takes his leave. As to why it suspiciously arrives as soon as he is gone, you’re unsure. Such a sneaky creature; you can’t help but adore it.
That’s not to say its deliveries are not as equally charming.
You chuckled as you elegantly unwrapped the ribbon. The letter was elegantly written in a scrawl you’ve familiarized even with eyes closed for the past months, yet it still holds an intensity that makes your heart flutter. 
There it was. The two words that keep you going better than any coffee brew.
“My dearest, (Y/n),….”
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“Another letter from Vlad, I’d hope?” You sneaked from behind.
Nadia yelped, hitting you almost immediately. The delay was surely from being on a lovelorn cloud-nine, but her Fatui training that earned her last name definitely should’ve made you double-think.
You shriveled at the pain and she awkwardly cradled you.
“Oh shucks— I’m so sorry, (Y/n)! I-I didn’t realize it was y-y— Don’t scare me like that!” 
“Sorry! Sorry!” You hissed, blaming only yourself for the stinging aftermath. “I-I’ll get over it.”
Nadia guided you to the empty seat beside her. As soon as you were seated, she wasted no time to spill.
“The contents were far too adorable for my heart, oh, dear Tsaritsa, you NEED to read this.” 
An eyebrow was raised. Saying you had a suspicion that something like this would happen would be an understatement— when it came to Nadia, it was more like routine. It had been regular for you and her to get together at least once a month to chat over letters that you both received. Nothing about the time you spent with her was dull. She's the reason you adapted to the Liyue way of life so well. As you were both foreign to the culture— you and Jing Yuan are admittedly the extreme cases— you and her were eager to recount experiences in times of distress. And times of pure unbridled lovesick joy, such as this.
“C’mon, pass it.” You tried to say cooly, but the glimmer in your eyes betrayed your high school-like excitement.
“Same time.” Nadia huffed. "Can't have you gatekeeping your own letter!"
You pulled out yours from your purse.
Nadia wasn’t the only one with something to present to the class. This is just like a teacher forcing students to read their discreetly passed notes out loud. 
Nadia has her Vlad.
You have your Nay Jung I.
Instantly, you both suppressed a giggle in the abrupt exchange.
Nay Jung I. You know little about him, and that intrigue keeps the fire going. When you see a white cuckoo passing by the window, you immediately know it means well. A sight that makes your heart skip a beat. Instead of pushing eggs, it slips a love letter whenever Jing Yuan isn’t around. All coming from a man you can’t track down.
That’s right.
You have a secret admirer.
As you read through the middle of Vlad’s letter for Nadia, you heard your very-much-an-adult friend bite back a squeal in front of you. Nay Jung I may sound like a feminine name, but he was a man. You could’ve sworn you saw Xiangling laugh from the corner of your eye as Nadia tugged your sleeve around like a fool.
“Oh my God?! He wrote that?!” Her lips were akin to wobbly lines toddlers would draw when mimicking the sun’s rays. 
“I find myself constantly catching glimpses of you in my daydreams, my mind flooded with what could be— what should be. Forgive me for my selfishness, but I fear it won’t take long before I can no longer bear the thought of being without you… What?! That’s so SWEET?!” Nadia clutched your love letter tightly, eyes wide as though she was the recipient.
Xiangling, bless her soul, had to peek behind her.
“I wish I could have the courage to reveal myself to you. When I doubt myself, my thoughts turn to you… Aww… I wonder who Mister Nay is and what did you do to get him this in love?” Xiangling playfully pouted, which made Nadia grin wider, almost teasing her. “Geez. When will I get a boy to send me letters?”
“I’m sure you’re going to get one or two someday. A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right?” Nadia shrugged as she folded the paper and hid it. “Plus, I fear you’re too young for this.”
“Careful, Dia, she’s the one preparing our food.” You joked.
Nadia has grown more friendly to locals for the better since you started sharing meals here. Everyone knows the feelings between her and Vlad were mutual— but neither of them was willing to confess. With Nadia hoping he initiates, and him densely hesitant on whether she reciprocates. One of them can end this phase should they abandon pride or cowardice.
But Nay Jung I?
You can’t find his records anywhere… And he had told you that it is a fake name by your fourth letter, much to your chagrin.
So, you’ve settled with this arrangement. For now, you are both friends, despite knowing he has feelings for you from the start.
“Mister Nay definitely has it bad for you, Mx. (Y/n).” She gave you a closed-eyed smile. “You need to write back immediately! The man’s probably starving for it!— Oh, right, the pot!!!”
As the chef rushed back after being distracted, you gave Nadia’s letter back to her.
“Any chance of rain?” You asked.
“Cloudy with negative one percent chance that I’ll run to Northland Bank and confess to Vlad.” Nadia spoke sheepish;y.
“That’s at least five percent higher than yesterday.”
“Well, this last letter was adorable.” She swooned.
“Mx. (Y/n), you seem incredibly free at the moment, care to have a chat?”
You turned to look at the new person who joined in.
Fur coat, a distinct mole placement, a sharp haircut, and eyes self-assured enough to conceal their need for urgent assistance, it has to be none other than—
“Miss Yelan,” you gave her a polite smile. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”
Nadia sat up straight, shifting to her work mode. “Is there some business you require from the Northland Bank?”
“I have no quarry with you, Madam Nadia, what I do want—” Yelan tilted her head, her eyes calculating. “Is to speak to (Y/n) in private.”
You paused, recalling the conversation you had this morning.
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‘I have been bound by mundane duties in both my past and current lives, and I must say, engaging with a Person of Interest such as yourself has not only been productive but also mentally stimulating.’
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Maybe this is what Jing Yuan was warning you about this morning.
“Fine, I concede.” You sighed, swiftly snatching your letter from Nadia’s hands and tucking it inside the pockets of your inner jacket.
“Lead me to where you most need me.”
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Over the years you’ve spent on Liyue, you’ve had another habit you’ve been nursing on the sidelines.
Epigraphy.
Better yet, it’s for the sole purpose of decoding ancient artifacts. Before you were transmigrated into Teyvat, you found that inspecting artifact descriptions and reading through lore strewn in notes and dialogues were a great part of what made playing Genshin Impact enjoyable. You devoured theories whether they were from YouTubers like Ashikai or other CCs who were eager to unravel and analyze myths from different civilizations. To be inside THE sandbox was the greatest treat. If your friends were here, you have no doubt you’d have plenty who’d look and try to pick apart Mister Zhongli’s brain.
Unfortunately, you never managed to catch his eye.
And the biggest misfortune of all, you caught Miss Yelan’s instead.
“It’ll take me a few weeks to decipher and solve this puzzle…” You told her hesitantly. “And I can’t guarantee anything either.”
Yelan only tilted her head. Strands of her hair hid her expression, and the only body language to be read was the way she played with the die on her fingers. You wondered if she was deciding your fate by giving it a roll…
You looked at the inscribed walls.
A man with horns… and his partner wearing a long hanfu… His partner… Reminds you of a beautiful cuckoo bird.
You sighed.
When she bargained for a chat in “private”, the Chasm was the last location you had in mind. Even more, it did not occur to you that she aimed to use you as a translator. For a language you only learned a few years ago.
You knew you couldn’t exactly deny a member of the Qixing, especially with how much you carried a moral debt for Lady Ningguang, so you agreed under the condition that Yelan wouldn’t snitch to Jing Yuan.
He might just give you the silent treatment if he found out you were here.
But back on the walls and the puzzle mechanism in the middle of the room…
Both were seated under the shade of a tree… 
Each holding a cup of tea…
“Damn it, why me?” You cussed out loud.
You seriously want to tell her that she should’ve chosen Zhongli. 
Not that you’d know that Yanfei begged Yelan to hire you for the job.
Yelan made her dice vanish. “If you need further assistance, and by that I meant necessities such as food and water, call for Wenyuan or Shanghua. They’ll materialize right in front of you.”
On the next wall, the horned man tightly held his partner, with tears falling from his eyes… His tail was more apparent in this depiction, but there were crystallized ambers and statues all around…
Like they were running…
Away from him…
You faced Yelan.
“Yelan, can’t you call for someone else—”
You blinked.
She was gone.
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You don’t like being here.
You don’t like this cave.
You’re not sure whether you liked the fact Yelan invited you here. On one hand, you were grateful for the opportunity, but at the same time, you thought yourself unqualified for whatever piece of ancient Liyuean history was waiting to bite you in the ass. 
It didn’t take a genius to know that whoever the drawn man was, he was a force to be reckoned with. You played enough Genshin to know that yakshas are not to be trifled. If this ended up as an Azhdaha scenario, you wouldn’t want to be the nameless NPC who died along the way.
Should’ve commissioned the traveler.
As you progressed in your decoding, the texts were beginning to gnaw you. 
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“Have you heard the tale of Lady ███ ███?”
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You trembled at the thought.
Curse Jing Yuan and his ghost stories.
The story wasn’t even that frightening.
What got you was how Jing Yuan sold them. He had preached it as though he had been a witness. It’s just a typical unnerving tale to keep children alert, but he had always been far more persuasive than you.
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“When she and her husband were out exploring, her husband left her while she sired his heir. He left her there to die.”
Jing Yuan’s eyes narrowed. You quietly applauded his commitment to the bit. Should you not know any better, you would’ve thought he hated that man more than anything.
Like he was seething with jealousy.
“Some claim he hid her there to fight for a war, some say it was out of love… In my eyes, it was an unforgivable neglect.”
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Jing Yuan claims sharing ghost stories was a common occurrence from when he used to teach his disciple. But you’re not an idiot. You can sniff out a reason why he loves to bring these stupid tales.
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“Days felt like a prison tally. She had forgotten what it felt to live in the sun.”
“She lived only by fulfilling basic needs. No matter how thick the mud was, no matter what was within the soil— all she could do was bitterly swallow what was to come. She bit her tongue on the ever-growing famine— and wished that her child would survive.”
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Jing Yuan does not want you anywhere near the chasm.
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“So when it was time to give birth, she had no assistance. She pushed her child out as hard as she could, and laid an empty egg.”
Before you could even ask why a human would lay an egg, Jing Yuan continued.
“But they both passed away.” 
“Legends say, that’s the reason why the lumenstone ore glows. It contains the watchful gaze of a scorned mother and unborn child…”
“And if you aren’t careful, you too—”
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“Could be trapped inside it.” 
You scoffed.
Was the tale stupid? Depends on who you ask. Was it sad? Sorta. Was the thought of two ghosts— possibly more— watching you as you were forcibly dispatched to read through The Chasm’s secrets terrifying? Given the dark and brooding atmosphere, it was a quiet yes.
“Hmm? I— I solved it…?”
You blinked.
Maybe you still retained your skills as a Genshin player. Anything for a luxurious chest is what you would’ve said. And yet, it still baffled you that one did appear.
When you unlocked it, you saw no “primogem” like you quietly hoped (it would be funny if you unlocked a wish function, but that’s unlikely…)
Instead, you found a dusty ore.
“Great.” You muttered dryly. “Just what I needed.”
It was amber in color, same as the clothes the man wore in the wall paintings. You’re at a loss on how you should report this to Yelan.
“Better than nothing.” You spoke, laughing slightly. That sounded like something Diluc would say. You should buy a dandelion wine after this hard work.
Quickly, you fished out the gloves in your pockets. It was made of nitrile, which should protect the ore from possible oil and moisture from your hands. Yelan was very insistent you wear it.
But as soon as you touched the ore…
Your consciousness slipped away.
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There was a man in front of you.
But you couldn’t see his face. 
“Dearest ███ ███…” The horned man smiled delicately as he sipped his tea. “It has been centuries since our first wedding ceremony. Do be honest with me, do you still hold the same passion as before.”
These memories appear to you in a blur.
“No, I do not.” You heard your voice say as the man’s shoulders slowly deflated. His amber eyes looked down, and his smile began to strain.
With two fingers, you lifted his chin.
“If anything, my love for you has grown stronger,” you spoke. “For you and I shall never let our draconic instincts dull, and our union will be the greatest treasure we shall hoard in this never-ending flow of time.”
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“…/n…!”
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One hand took his scaley hand and the other held his cheek, caressing softly.
“Promise you shall return?” You heard yourself mutter, this time weak and hopeless.
He leaned against your palm, purring as though it might be the last time he’ll savor your warmth.
“You know I do not make promises, ███ ███.” He spoke firmly. “What I keep are contracts. And I have vowed to make you happy, for as long as I live.”
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“…(Y… (Y/n…. snap… out…!”
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“Contracts normally sound so cold, but your honeyed voice makes it sound so romantic.”
“You know well, my love, in all my years, I’ve witnessed endless contracts and agreements. Whether it was tangible or verbal— each one was a significant chapter to someone’s life.”
The horned man softly detangled your fingers from his long brown hair and kissed your hand.
“But only one brought forth complete change. Our matrimonial agreement. The contract we signed gave me the most happiness. I’ve never signed a happier contract than this one.”
“And I share the same sentiment.” You cooed, almost cheeky. “And I hope our future child shall feel our love as well.”
He rested his head on your shoulder and sighed.
“The day shall come, my love.” He spoke. “Just wait for me, until I fulfilled what the Heavenly Principles desires.”
“Of course,” you hugged him back. 
“I shall wait for you, my dearest…
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“(Y/N)!!!”
You flinched.
Suddenly, you’re not in the mountains. You’re not hiding under the shade of a tree with warm-hued leaves. You were…
You were sitting on a patch of grass, just outside the chasm.
And Jing Yuan is mad.
He had a cold unmerciful glare. His built frame towered above you, casting a large shadow. It was already nighttime. Normally, only the moonlight and the lamps from afar should be the only source of light here, but his golden eyes seemed to glow. As though it was ready to call forth an entity you were not prepared to face.
You know the depths of his anger. Years of living inseparable from him has made every communication almost telepathic and that hadn’t changed. You can read it in his breaths, in his stiff and tall posture, in his unnerving gaze.
He is threatening you to spill. Saying without words that:
There are fates worse than death.
But your pulse was steady. But your breathing was calm. But your expression was blank.
You weren’t terrified.
And you can read that deep down, that scared the General more.
“Nay Jung I…”
For a moment, Jing Yuan’s eyes widened— as though there was something he was the only one privy to knowing. His face had a mix of surprise and disbelief before he steeled himself.
“Nay Jung I?” He scoffed. 
“What of him?” Jing Yuan asked.
“He’s my soulmate.”
As soon as those words left your mouth, brief incoherent syllables sputtered out of his mouth. You evoked more emotions in him this time around. You saw flashes of shock, what seemed to be happiness, hope, and then utter confusion.
“...What?”
“I saw him.” You said, calm. “I saw him as soon as I touched that rock. My soulmate— he had long hair and eyes like a dragon— I think he was a dragon, and so was I. I think my soulmate is in Liyue and he’s hiding behind the name Nay Jung I.”
Jing Yuan opened his mouth, before thinning his lips.
This time, you were certain.
He was not only mad. Jing Yuan was sorely disappointed.
“I understand…” 
You know the expression on his face. You read him like a discipline you mastered in epigraphy. He thinks that… 
You have gone “cuckoo.”
He turned around, no longer facing you.
“I’m sorry then, (Y/n).” 
Jing Yuan does not sound sorry to you.
“What for?”
There was silence for a moment, before he spoke again, voice bitter and vile.
He was not sorry.
He was furious.
He was hurt.
He was jealous.
“Nay Jung I is the leader behind the past terrorist attacks.” He paused. “And I killed him.”
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You haven’t recovered ever since.
Every medical “professional” you’ve encountered told you that you were hysterical. That you just hallucinated what you saw. It isn’t possible that the visions you saw were Nay Jung I anyway. 
Maybe they were right about the last part, you don’t want to believe it. 
It was in your instincts. That man had to be your husband in the past. Who cares if you came from another world? Maybe you were an Expy. You had to be. That person— the one who reminded you of a cuckoo bird in those walls— had to be you in another universe. 
It had to be.
Your real soulmate is out there.
And Nay Jung I isn’t dead.
But you’ve never been good at persuading others.
Soyourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveityourefusetobelieveit—
“General Jing Yuan, is (Y/n)…?”
Outside the apartment, Mister Zhongli and Jing Yuan stood by the window, peaking at your form. You were so engrossed by your inner conflicts that you couldn’t hear them.
“They’ll… move on from you, eventually.” Jing Yuan spat back coldly. “I’m not the God of Contracts, but I keep promises that do not fail.”
Zhongli’s face crumpled in anguish.
“May I ask a question? Just to sate a bit of curiosity, of course.”
Jing Yuan’s eyes narrowed. Zhongli took that as a yes.
“Are you Nay Jung I?” He asked. “I did not see his name on the list of the deceased criminals—”
“Yes, he and I are the same,” Jing Yuan silenced him. “Nay Jung I is an anagram of Jing Yuan. You can reorder the letters and confirm it for yourself.”
Originally, Jing Yuan had hoped to woo you with a romantic tale of an anonymous admirer. But, in your delirium, you had mistakenly believed that Nay Jung I was the same man in your visions. 
It was repulsive.
Never before had he wished to scream so loudly. He had not felt this much anger when he discovered the crimes his old friends had done. He had not felt as betrayed as when you claimed love for Nay Jung I, but it was not him.
He wanted to summon the Lightning Lord to destroy Liyue right then and there.
It was a frustration he had never felt before. Not when he was training with Jingliu. Not when he was scolding Yanqing. Not ever.
But Jing Yuan was not an impulsive man.
He prides his patience.
He prefers to scheme quietly rather than flashing bold moves.
Jing Yuan sucked in a breath between his teeth. 
“I suppose it’s my turn to ask.”
He shut the windows and Zhongli’s heart ached as he could no longer see you.
But then he turned to look at Jing Yuan.
And he knew…
Jing Yuan is much older and wiser than he looks.
“Tell me, Rex Lapis,” he spoke sharply. “Did you wed this world’s version of (Y/n) (L/n) and leave her and her child to die?”
That silence was enough.
Jing Yuan’s private investigations behind your back were right.
In the vast “multi-verse”, there is a version of you that married this dragon who descended from his Archon status.
“I... have wrought upon them great suffering. I am unworthy of their affections. Should a day come where (Y/n) enacts the fury of my wife and child on their behalf, it will be justly deserved.”
Zhongli did not further elaborate.
Whatever happened in the past, it still haunted him to this day. Lingering in the back of his mind, dulling his self-confidence and wits. Maybe it’s why Yanfei thought you should investigate the cave. Maybe she wanted the alternate version of ███ ███ to come back.
But she's gone.
Jing Yuan took a step closer.
“Your wife is dead, Rex Lapis. They are my (Y/n), not yours.”
“I-… I know.” Zhongli— no— Morax spoke, voice laced with grief. “I know she and (Y/n) are not the same, however, I…”
Another step.
“If you wish for their happiness, you will continue to not speak to them. You have done enough damage.”
Morax closed his eyes mournfully. “I am well aware of this”
Another step.
“Let me take care of (Y/n). Let me make them happy.”
And another.
Jing Yuan stared deep into Morax’s soul.
In all his years of living, it didn’t occur to Morax that he’d find another familiar cuckoo again.
But it wasn’t his wife.
Jing Yuan took another step.
This man in front of him was pushing and pushing…
“Let this conversation be a verbal contract,” he said. “That I, Jing Yuan, vow to make (Y/n) happy, and that you, Rex Lapis, shall step down as a final way to atone your sins of uxoricide and filicide. Do you accept?”
Like a cuckoo throwing an egg off the nest.
Forgive me, dearest ███ ███.
I am unworthy of you, let alone this alternate incarnation of yourself.
Morax inhaled deeply. He remains in his head, yet he can't escape the present. The more time he spent searching inside himself for solutions over his approximately 6000 years in Teyvat, the more evident it became what the sensible path of action was. With open eyes, Morax welcomed the return of the present. He observed the vivid hues of existence. In the vicinity, he heard Jing Yuan's pet cuckoo bird. But most of all, he felt his age.
Whatever time was appropriate to dream of a family— it had long passed him.
I am but an old man who deserves to fade away quietly.
And he…
Has the same vigor Morax once had.
That obsessed look.
That tight, suffocating hold.
Just like staring at a reflection of himself, centuries passed.
Jing Yuan, too, was a man depraved. Worse, he is a man who lost everything, clinging only to (Y/n) as his only solace in Teyvat.
Morax noticed the way Jing Yuan took a walk with you, with one arm draping around your shoulder to ward off those he deemed unwanted.
Morax noticed the way Jing Yuan brags about you with his men in each available opportunity, socially claiming you his.
Morax noticed the way Jing Yuan glares at someone who got too close when he thought you weren’t looking, pushing suitors away.
Morax noticed the way Jing Yuan rarely talks about his story and would rather talk about something you had done, making you a large part of himself.
Morax noticed the way Jing Yuan only cares about you, and not even a sliver for himself.
He would rather not see him destroy himself the way he had done long ago.
And just like that, the General got rid of his greatest rival— Liyue’s archon and your husband from another life.
He is out of the nest.
“I accept.”
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May June can now message Jing Yuan
446 notes · View notes
charlotteking23 · 2 months ago
Text
How To Make Your Girl Happy - MV1/33
Max Verstappen x reader
Summary: Once in awhile, the two of you like to go out at night without a special plan in mind and just do whatever you please. Just like tonight. It's going to be so much fun! Right?...
word count: 1.6K
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You hold the broken gold chain in your hand, crying your eyes out while Max kisses your other hand, trying to calm you down and drive straight at the same time:
"I'm gonna get you another one, Princess, OK?"
"But you gave this to me for our two-year anniversaarrryyyy," you bawl, upset like never before, looking for a tissue in your purse. "Oh, look, baby, a grenade, you suddenly stop your mourning, taking it out and showing it to him.
"I didn't even know I had it in here, you think it's expired?" you wipe your tears, smiling like nothing happened.
"I don't think they expire, liefje," he winks, working his charm on you.
Thank God she got distracted, Max thinks, pleased he avoided the catastrophe. Must be that...time of the month because you always get really emotional; he really doesn't want to deal with it but he has no choice.
"Oh, no!" you suddenly gasp, digging into your purse, and your bottom lip quivers on the verge of crying again. "Maxiiiieeeee, I'm out of my gum," you whimper, staring at him. "I want my gum!"
"Say no more, I will take care of it!" he quickly agrees, really struggling to keep his cool. If he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?! He yanks at the steering wheel, going over the curve, hitting two trash cans in the process, almost killing a cat and a pigeon.
He sees the gas station and since it's so late at night there are no customers. Perfect for what you need. The two of you rush inside and see the clerk freeze in shock when he recognizes the famous F1 driver.
"Look I need gum now!" Max scowled, while you went by the counter and started looking for your gum, and...
"Maxiiiieeee, they don't have strawberry flavor in the brand I like," you whine, feeling another wave of imminent tears strolling down your cheeks.
"What?! Why don't you have strawberry?!" Max raises his voice, alarmed.
"W-we run out s-sir," the clerk stutters, closing his eyes, thinking he was in front of the Max Verstappen. "We have strawberry in o-other brands..."
"I only like this brand!" you interrupt, snorting, wiping your nose with your sleeve while scratching your thigh.
Good gracious, she's such a classy woman, your boyfriend thinks, suddenly aroused, really wanting to bite you all over.
"She only likes this brand!!!!" Max repeats, getting out of his trance, and screaming at the poor guy that trembles like a leaf. "Why are you upsetting my girl, hm? Don't you know you should have that stuff on hand all the time?"
"S-s-sorry s-sir..."
"That's it were leaving this fuckin place", taking your hand and fastly walking back to the car. "Stop crying, Princess, we'll get your gum!" he promises, starting to drive again.
He feels so aggravated, but if he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?!
After a few miles, he notices a small, lonely convenience store and slams the brakes, sharply turning so he can park.
You both run inside, while you look through their stash and let out a scream when you see what you need.
You grab a paper bag and cram in all the strawberry-flavored gum you see in the brand you like and take one last package, wanting to open it when the date gets your attention.
"Maxiiiieeeee, this is expired," you complain, your quivering bottom lip making him lose it.
"Are you trying to kill my girl?!" he snaps at the man, outraged, mostly because he has to deal with you in this state after you leave the store.
"N-no, n-not at all, I-I don't know how it happened," the guy gulps, feeling he's going to faint soon seeing Mad Max.
"They're all expired, baaabyyy," you frantically go through your bag, tossing each little package one after the other.
"Are you trying to kill your customers?! What kind of place is this? You should be reported to the authorities! No princess, don't!" Max slaps your hand when you try to open the last package because you want your gum badly and it makes you more upset when you drop it.
"Let's go, Liefje, this damn city is trying to kill us tonight," he pants, backing out and you hold on to his shirt, following him outside like a lost puppy.
"Hold on, baby," you sniffle and taking a marker out of your purse, heading back to the store and Writing 'loser, and 'don't come here unless you want to be food poison' on the door, shouting at the clerk:
"This is for trying to kill people!", You start laughing, suddenly happy, heading back to your car.
"I don't want gum anymore, can we drive to our spot?" you sweetly ask, kissing his shoulder as he starts driving again.
shit, Max thinks. Why? Because you usually go to your secret spot on top of the hill to have sex. Since you are...not able to for now, it only means one thing: you will want to cuddle and talk.
Your boyfriend takes a deep breath, pretending he's not panicking. But if he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?!
Once you get there, you crawl on the hood with him, placing yourself in between his legs so he can hold your waist from behind.
"Ahhh, this is so nice, isn't it Maxie?" you giggle, putting your hands on top of his. Max is tense but doesn't want to show it. "Wow, a falling star! Make a wish!" you get all excited, clapping and he sighs, bored. "Did you make a wish? What did you wish for?" you turn your head so you can see him
"For Goddamm Monaco to have your stupid gum!" he grumbles, rolling his eyes.
"No way! Me too!" you get on your knees, turning so you can face him. "What were the odds, baby?" You smile so brightly that his sassiness goes down a notch. "You really love me, don't you?" you bite your lip.
"Yeap," his short answer comes and you don't give up.
"How much?"
"Ummm, a lot," he quietly mumbles, uncomfortable, wishing you would change the subject.
"Really?!" you kiss him, astounded. "AWWW that's so sweet," you get all teary and sentimental.
The things he has to go through to please you. But if he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?!
"Dadddyyyy," you trace his biceps, batting your lashes at him.
Oh, hell no, Max thinks. You only call him Daddy in bed (which is not the case here) or when you want something he wouldn't agree with, which is probably the case.
"Yes, liefje?" he tilts his head, waiting to hear what else it's going to come out of your mouth next.
"I think we should have a baby, or two or three, but at least two, yes?" you blur out, enthusiastic to the maximum and he starts getting flustered, not expecting such a twist.
"I don't think so, liefje," Max utters with such determination you start bawling instantly.
"Why nooootttt?" you wail, sobbing with your face on his neck like he's been dead for three months or so. "You think I'm ugly?!"
His hands start caressing your back, trying to soothe you.
"I don't think you're ugly, I think you are a pretty princess," he says, being sincere. "You look beautiful, don't worry," he pets your hair and you wipe your tears, grinning at him. if he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?!
"So let's have kids then," you switch to your original plan, hoping for a positive outcome.
"No...I really don't want to..." he makes a comeback, stubborn and determined not to give in.
You gasp so loud it startles him: "Are you...are you having an affair?"
"What' ?! No, I'm not having an affair," he immediately defends himself, irked you would think something like that.
"Oh my God, you're cheating on me, aren't you?" The crying starts again and you weep on his chest, soiling his favorite redbull shirt with tears and makeup.
"Is she prettier, more beautiful looking than me? You wanna have kids with her and not with me?" you clench your fists on the fabric, heartbroken.
Dammit, why do you have to get like this every month? Max thinks, irritated.
"I'm not having an affair, OK?" he lifts your chin up so he can look you in the eyes. "Stop crying, Now", He requests pissed and you gulp, suddenly holding your breath so you won't make a sound you feel you need air and he watches quite amused at how you struggle to hold your breath, afraid to move. After a few good seconds, you give up and start breathing again.
"I'm not crying anymore, all right?" you kiss him, and since you don't have any tissue, you wipe your nose with your sleeve again and he gropes you,
"I love classy girls; you're so classy princess, " he charges at your cleavage, not being able to control himself anymore.
You snicker, straddling his lap, and just have to say it:
"Maxiiieeee, come on, let's have a baby, or two or three, pleaseeee," you pull his hair and scream when he bites your skin. "Unless you really think I'm ugly," your bottom lip quivers once more, your happiness going downhill as fast as his enthusiasm for the subject.
When he sees the tears rolling down your face he has to get it together with all he's got to muster the words:
"Fine, we'll have a baby," he bitterly mumbles, distressed.
If he can't keep his girl happy, then who will?!
300 notes · View notes
jetii · 4 months ago
Text
Infinite Possibilities of the Universe
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Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader / Tech x Jedi!Reader
Words: 9,466
Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, grief/death/mourning, brief description of anxiety attack/autistic meltdown, reader is referred to as Sarad
Summary: You fell on Kaller, and Tech is the only one who can't let you go. But he knows what the others don't: you're alive, and you're coming back to him. All he has to do is be patient.
A/N: This is sad right up until the end I'm sorry. Thank you @baddest-batchers for the prompt!
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Dantooine’s sun shone down on the fields, glinting off of the armor and helmets of the Batch as they relaxed in the afternoon rays. Wrecker and Omega had run off a few hours ago to go find some animal or another, so it was just the boys and a few crates of spare parts that needed to be sorted and put away.
They were in no hurry, and so Hunter and Echo took up a spot by one of the few Blba trees around for miles and started going through the boxes, pulling out pieces that they could repair and reuse, setting aside what needed to be scrapped. It was mindless work, and so it wasn't long before they started up a game of saigok to pass the time.
Tech, as always, was holed up inside the Marauder. The rest of the squad could hear him tinkering around in there, and had learned to tune out the quiet sounds of clinking and clicking from inside.
This time, though, Echo heard the quiet murmur of his voice, and glanced over at Hunter.
The Sergeant was leaning back against the tree, arms folded and legs stretched out in front of him, eyes closed as he basked in the sunlight. He looked perfectly at peace, but Echo knew that he was very much aware of everything that was going on around him.
And yet he hadn’t said anything.
Echo frowned and turned to look over his shoulder, but all he could see was the open ramp of the Marauder, the top of which was hidden by a row of tall, green plants.
He turned back to his game with Hunter, trying to concentrate on the board and the pieces, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was amiss.
It didn't take him long to lose his second piece. Hunter, ever the tactician, didn't comment on it, and so the two played on, both lost in their own thoughts until Echo couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
"Do you think Tech's alright?"
Hunter opened his eyes, looking at Echo. His expression didn't change, but he sat up straighter. “I'm sure he's fine."
Echo wasn't convinced. "He's been up there for a while. I don't think I've ever seen him this quiet."
Hunter shrugged. "He's probably tinkering with his new project, the one he keeps in his bunk."
"But—“
"I can hear him talking," Hunter interrupted, closing his eyes again. "He's just not talking to us. You know he does that sometimes."
“That's not the point." Echo looked back over his shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of whatever Tech was doing. "Something doesn't feel right."
Hunter was quiet for a moment, and then let out a sigh. “He’s talking to her.”
"Who? Omega?"
"No."
Echo thought back over the past months. He'd overheard Tech muttering to himself several times, but it was never about a her, as far as he could tell. Then it hit him.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"But she's—“
"I know," Hunter said. He sighed again and shifted, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back against the trunk. “But that's how Tech copes. He talks to her. She's not gone, not for him."
Echo wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, and so he didn't. Instead, he got to his feet and headed over to the Marauder.
Inside the cockpit, he could see the back of Tech's head as he sat in the pilot's seat. The door was open, and so Echo didn't feel the need to announce his presence. He walked down the hall, listening closely.
"—and the power converters in the shield generators have been giving me trouble lately. I'll need to do a more thorough investigation soon."
Echo ducked next to the wall of the cockpit, listening. Tech was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was a little softer.
"You would love this planet, Sarad. There are hundreds of new species of creatures and flora to document. It's very beautiful here. You would enjoy the sunshine."
Echo felt a sharp pain in his chest. It wasn't just his mechanical parts, though those often ached with phantom pains, especially when it rained. This pain was different, and it made him pause. Your loss had hit them all hard, and even now, months later, he could feel the lingering effects.
Tech had taken it the hardest. Your relationship hadn't been a secret, and he'd spent nearly every waking hour with you when he could. And then...
Don't, he told himself, pushing the memories away. Just don't.
But he couldn't stop himself from looking up, his gaze landing on the little shelf that hung above Tech's bunk. On it among the scattered parts and tools sat a little model ship, a small clay flower, and a holo-pic.
It was a photo of the six of them, back on Coruscant, when things had been simpler. You were sitting on a crate, legs crossed, hands on your knees, a grin on your face. The others were gathered around you, and you couldn't tell by their smiles how much you had begged and pleaded with them to sit still for five minutes.
"What's the point of taking a holo-pic if we aren't going to smile?"
"A holo-pic isn't worth the hassle."
"Come on, it'll be fun! Tech, come here. I want you to be in it, too."
"But I'm busy."
"Please? For me?"
"...Very well."
Tech wasn't even looking at the camera, he was too busy watching you.
You had noticed, and you had reached over and gently nudged his arm, and the holo-pic captured the moment perfectly.
After the click of the camera you had jumped to your feet, excitedly showing off your own copy. Tech had tried to act indifferent, but Echo had noticed him looking at it often, and more than once had caught him smiling softly as he did so.
It had been Omega who suggested that the photo be added to the little shelf, despite never knowing you. And after a little persuasion from the rest of the crew, Tech had finally relented.
And now the picture was tucked into a frame next to the little clay flower you had made, the ship hanging above it. They were the only two things on the shelf that didn't belong to Tech, and they were the two things that Echo had never seen him without.
Echo hadn't thought much about it, but the memory was suddenly crystal clear. Tech, his arm around your waist, a soft smile on his face. The look in his gaze was unmistakable.
He loved you.
And now he was never going to see you again.
Echo looked away, swallowing the lump that rose in his throat. He didn't want to intrude any more than he already was, and so he retreated back down the ramp.
When he got back to the tree, Hunter had abandoned their game and was now sitting cross legged, elbows resting on his knees. He watched Echo approach and raised his eyebrows.
"Well?"
Echo sighed and sat down. "You were right."
"What did he say?"
Echo looked down, picking up a loose twig and turning it over in his hands. "Just...talking to her. About what they would do, if she was here."
Hunter didn't reply, and so Echo continued, "She'd like it here. It's peaceful. No wars."
He could feel Hunter's eyes on him, but kept his own eyes on the twig, running his thumb over the smooth bark.
"He's still waiting for her."
"I know."
Echo sighed. He hated not knowing what to do, especially when it came to Tech. "I wish he would talk to us about it. She's been gone for nearly four months. You'd think he would have let her go by now."
Hunter shook his head. "You and I both know that he's not going to let her go. Not as long as there's a chance she's still out there."
"But there isn't a chance," Echo pointed out, "He saw her fall, didn't he?"
"That's not what he believes."
"Why not?"
"You know why not," Hunter replied. "She was the only person who saw the galaxy the same way he did. They understood each other, and not in the way that we do."
"So what, we just let him go on thinking that she might still be out there? It's not good for him, you have to know that."
Hunter didn't respond right away.
"Tech knows what he's doing," he said finally. "If he wants our help, he'll ask for it. For now, we have to respect his boundaries. And that means no talking about her, not even in passing. If Tech wants to think that she's still out there, then that's what we have to let him believe. That's how he copes."
Echo wasn't thrilled, but he didn't want to go against Hunter's wishes, and so he stayed silent. He turned his attention back to the box of spare parts, and for a while the two of them worked in silence. But every once in a while, Echo would glance up at the Marauder and the tiny figure that was hunched over the navicomputer.
He knew that Hunter was right. There wasn't much that he could do to help. But that didn't mean he had to like it.
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Tech stared at the datapad in his hand, but his mind wasn't really on the screen. Instead, his thoughts were turned towards the planet outside and the sun-soaked fields that he had left his brothers in. He knew that it was a beautiful day, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and go out there.
Not while Sarad wasn't with him.
His fingers tightened around the edges of the datapad, knuckles turning white. A sudden surge of anger coursed through him, and he wanted nothing more than to hurl the datapad across the cockpit, but he managed to reign it in and set the device down on the console, his grip still tight.
He didn't know why it bothered him so much, having to spend this day alone. The anniversary of your first meeting had never seemed like a big deal to him before. Of course, that was because you had been there. Now, though, with nothing but empty space between him and the rest of the galaxy, he had never felt so isolated.
He had been trying to distract himself, but none of his usual tinkering projects could hold his attention. Nothing seemed to be able to block out the emptiness, and his anger.
Tech had never liked anger. It was messy, unorganized, and dangerous. It had been a long time since he had last felt the full force of his anger, but now it was back, and it was worse than before.
Because, unlike before, his anger was mixed with grief.
You had talked about it once, when you were lying in his bunk, curled up against each other, your head tucked against his neck, fingers tracing absent patterns over his chest.
"What would you do, if something happened to me?"
He had frowned, not understanding why you would ask him such a thing. "Nothing will happen to you."
"Just pretend," you'd insisted. "If I were gone, what would you do?"
He had tried to imagine it, and the thought had sent a chill down his spine. He had never felt that way about someone before, and the thought of losing you was too terrible to even consider.
"I'd find you," he'd said.
"But what if you couldn't?"
"That is not possible. There is no place that you could go that I would not follow. Even if we were separated by the entire galaxy, I would still find a way."
"Tech, come on. Pretend with me. If you couldn't find me, and you thought I was gone, what would you do?"
He had considered your words for a moment, then answered, "I would keep looking. You wouldn't leave me. Not without telling me first."
You had lifted your head, a small, sad smile on your lips. "How do you know that?"
"I just do."
The look in your eyes was indecipherable. "You can't know that. There are no guarantees, Tech. If I'm gone, then I'm gone. I'm part of the living Force, and eventually I'll return. You can't stay stuck on me. You'll have to move on, one way or another."
He hadn't liked that idea. He couldn't even fathom the possibility of her being gone.
"No."
"Tech..."
"No," he'd said, more firmly this time. "You wouldn't leave. You wouldn't. And I will always find you."
Your eyes were shining, and he didn't understand.
"Why are you talking about this?" he'd asked. "There's no reason for you to leave. You'll stay with us."
"You don't know that. There's a war, Tech, anything could happen."
"No."
"But—"
"We are not talking about this anymore." He'd said, cutting you off. He couldn't bear to think about it, and he was beginning to feel uneasy. You were the first person who had ever cared about him, and the idea of losing you was unfathomable.
"But—"
"Stop," he'd said, more harshly than he'd meant to.
You'd stopped, staring at him. Then, slowly, your head had lowered, and you'd pressed your face against his neck again.
"I'm sorry," you'd said quietly.
"It's alright," he'd replied, feeling bad about the way he had snapped at you. He hadn't meant to get angry, but the thought of losing you was terrifying. He needed you.
You'd pulled yourself closer, arms wrapping around him, holding onto him as tightly as you could. He'd hugged you back, and the two of you had laid there together, and eventually, you had fallen asleep. 
Tech lied awake that night, staring at the ceiling, trying to imagine what it would be like if you were gone.
He hadn't been able to do it.
And yet, here he was, barely keeping a tight grip on his emotions, the ache in his chest threatening to consume him.
It wasn't fair.
None of this was fair.
Tech had always tried to accept things as they were. It was easier, and he had never found it worth the effort to question his reality. Sarad, though, had been different.
Sarad had never accepted the world as it was. You had never allowed yourself to settle for things that were. And so you had changed everything, just by being there. But now you were gone. And so the galaxy, and his life, had returned to its previous state.
Tech's eyes burned, but he was able to keep the tears at bay. It was the same way that he had done every day since you fall.
It isn't fair, he thought again. It isn't fair.
If only you were here, Sarad. You could fix this. You could fix anything.
His thoughts drifted back to his brothers, who were undoubtedly wondering what was wrong with him. He knew that they had questions, but they would never ask him. They had an unspoken agreement to never talk about you, and while he appreciated their respect, he couldn't help but wish that they would break it, just this once.
Then maybe he wouldn't have to sit here alone, the cockpit cold and dark around him, as he tried to keep his anger under control.
Sarad would have known what to do.
A memory surfaced, and for the first time in months, he let it come.
It had been early in the morning, and they had been on an unknown planet, waiting for a storm to pass before they could leave. They had all been asleep, except for Sarad, who had decided to go outside to get some air. You had asked him if he wanted to come with you, and so the two of you had stepped outside into the cool darkness.
The storm clouds had blocked out the stars and the moonlight, and it was pitch black outside. You had held onto his arm, and he had kept a hand on the blaster at his hip, as neither of them could see more than a few feet in front of them. And when you were far enough away from camp, you stopped.
"Isn't it amazing?"
Tech had looked at you. "What is?"
"The universe," you said, staring up at the sky. "All the planets, and the stars, and the endless possibilities."
"It's certainly a vast place," Tech had replied, "but what exactly makes it amazing?"
"The fact that it exists."
"Many things exist. Most people wouldn't find that particularly exciting."
"True," you had said. "But it's different when it comes to the universe."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"I suppose I could compare it to an individual," you had mused, "If you had lived your whole life knowing only the inside of one small house, and then suddenly you found out that there was a whole galaxy beyond it, wouldn't you be excited to see the stars?"
"I would be curious, yes."
"I feel the same way, but with the universe. Every time I look up at the stars, I know that there are millions of other planets, with thousands of other species. The sheer chance of a person like me existing in a place like this is astounding. So many things have had to go just right, and even then, the probability of my being here, now, is almost infinitesimal."
"The chances of a life such as ours are incredibly slim," Tech had agreed.
"I think that's what makes it special."
"What do you mean?"
"The universe is infinite," you had explained, "So the chances of my ever meeting someone from another part of the galaxy are infinitesimally small. But because the universe is infinite, that means that there are an infinite number of possibilities. And so there's a possibility that we could meet, that we could work together. The chances are so slim that they're practically nonexistent, but the possibilities are infinite."
"I don't know that I would have ever thought about it that way."
"Well, then, maybe we could explore the infinite possibilities of the universe together," you had suggested with a shrug of your shoulder. "It'll be fun. Just the two of us."
"And what if our infinite possibilities are limited to the confines of a single ship?"
"That would be fine," you had told him, smiling. "As long as we're together, then it doesn't matter where we go."
The memory ended there, and Tech blinked, realizing that his vision was blurry. A single tear had escaped his control, and he reached up and wiped it away with the back of his hand.
He missed you.
There were so many things that he wanted to say, so many words that had never been said. There was so much that you had left unfinished, so many plans and ideas that you had yet to accomplish, and now he feared it was too late.
Tech turned his focus back to his datapad, scrolling through the files. He stopped on one in particular, and for a moment, just looked at it.
Then he hit play.
It was a video, recorded shortly after his brothers had left you alone for the night. He hadn't been sure why he had made it at the time, but looking back now, he could see the reason. He had wanted to remember you.
The video began to play, and his breath caught in his throat as he watched you, bathed in the pale light of the computer, eyes shining as you spoke. You looked at the camera, and for a moment, Tech felt as though you were looking straight at him.
He couldn't hear the words, not anymore. But he knew them by heart, and so his mouth moved silently as he watched the recording, committing every moment, every gesture, every expression to memory.
“What are you doing?” Sarad asked, looking at the camera.
Tech had shifted, feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable.
"Just...recording."
"Recording what?"
"This," he had answered, gesturing around him. It hadn’t been a very good answer, and you had laughed.
"Why?"
"To...to document our trip."
"That sounds very scientific."
"It is."
"Well, I don't really understand," you had replied, "But I suppose you could always explain it to me later."
"I'll have to. I'm sure you'll have plenty of questions."
"Then you'll have to tell me everything," you had said. "And don't leave anything out. I want to know every detail."
"That will take quite a while."
"Then we'll just have to spend a lot of time together."
"Is that an invitation?"
"Perhaps," you had replied. Then, smiling, "Yes, I suppose it is. I would like to spend a lot of time with you, Tech."
"Then perhaps I will tell you," he had said.
You had smiled, and he had smiled back.
"I look forward to it."
When the video ended, he started it again, watching the familiar image, memorizing the way your hands moved and the curve of your smile and the brightness of your eyes. He watched it until his eyes burned, and then he watched it once more.
And when the pain became too much, and the anger rose up and threatened to overwhelm him, he played it again, and again, and again.
And eventually, the pain subsided, and the anger was pushed aside, and all he felt was you.
"I look forward to it," the recording said.
"I do, too," Tech murmured.
“You’ll have to tell me everything.”
"Then we'll just have to spend a lot of time together."
He could see the love in your eyes, and his breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t seen it then, hadn’t even considered the possibility. But looking back now, the memory of your love was so clear, and it took his breath away.
"Yes, I suppose it is. I would like to spend a lot of time with you, Tech."
He watched the video once more, and when it was over, he closed the tab and stared at his reflection in the blank screen.
He could still feel the anger, but it had lessened, and was no longer directed at the universe. It was, instead, aimed at himself.
You should have known, he thought, his fingers tightening around the edges of the datapad. You should have seen the signs. You should have said something.
It isn’t a logical thought. He couldn’t have known what would happen on Kaller and everything that followed, and he had had no reason to believe that anything would change.
And yet, his mind was convinced that he had missed something, that he could have prevented you from ever leaving his side.
It isn't logical, but he still feels it.
Slowly, his grip on the datapad eased, and he turned his attention back to his reflection. He saw his eyes were rimmed with red, and his hair was tousled from where he had run his hands through it.
Sarad would have liked that.
You would have teased him for his messy hair, and then you would have smoothed it out and laughed. You would have been the only person he would have let do something like that.
His hands were shaking, and he took a deep breath, forcing his muscles to relax.
It will pass, he told himself. It will pass. I will see her again. It will pass.
He repeated the phrase over and over in his mind, letting the words fill him and block out the anger. He had lost you, but you weren't gone. Not forever. 
There, buried in the scores of data files and programs that made up his datapad, was the last message he received from you. Dated nearly three months ago, it was heavily encrypted, and he’d required a cypher to unlock it.
Inside, there was a simple message:
"I'm safe, and I'm alive. I'll find you again. No matter what happens, I love you. Sarad."
Tech had spent the first month after Kaller trying to decipher the message. It had taken him days, but when he finally figured it out, the words had been like a lifeline. There were no coordinates, and no indication of where you had gone. All Tech had was your promise, and his belief that you would always keep your word. He knew that the message was a risk, but you had known that he would never stop looking, and so you had sent him something to hold on to, and it had been enough.
He had held onto your words since, keeping them close to his heart. He had read the message hundreds of times, and had never gotten tired of it. And whenever he felt lost, or alone, or angry, he would read it once more, and allow the words to guide him back.
They were a promise, and so he would wait.
He would wait, and when you came back to him, he would be ready. He would never let you go. 
Then, as the sun began to set outside, he put the datapad aside and looked up. Outside the window, the stars were beginning to appear. And, he thought, if his infinite possibilities were limited to the confines of a single ship, then he would spend the rest of his life traveling with you.
And so he turned the lights off and sat in the dark, the stars reflecting in his goggles as he gazed out at the galaxy.
And he waited.
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Tech waited until the others had fallen asleep before settling into the cockpit. He didn't want any distractions, just as he didn’t want his brothers to worry. They would, though, even without him saying a word. They were good at that.
He didn’t mind, though. He only wished he could tell them the truth. But it wasn’t his secret to share. They wouldn’t believe him anyway, he knew, and so it was better this way.
So, when the lights were out and the engines had quieted, he slipped away from the bunks and down the hall, taking his place at the pilot's seat.
He sat down and leaned back, getting comfortable before he took out his datapad and typed in the code. A single message appeared on the screen, and Tech read it one more time, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.
"I'm safe, and I'm alive. I'll find you again. No matter what happens, I love you. Sarad."
Satisfied, he closed the message and lifted his hand to the recording device on his goggles, and started a new file.
"Hello Sarad. Today, we logged a total of 17 hours in hyperspace, which brings our total log to 18,802 hours. The others have grown tired of counting, but I have continued the process. In fact, I believe we will be able to exceed 20,000 hours by the end of the year."
Tech paused, and then took a deep breath.
"There isn't much to report today, and so I have decided to share a few memories. First, I would like to remind you of the time we were stranded on Mygeeto, when we got lost in the mountains and spent three days trying to find our way back to the others."
Tech smiled, remembering the snow and the cold and the laughter. It was the first time the two of them had ever argued, but by the end of it, they were laughing so hard she could barely walk.
"I recall that I had told you several times to wear warmer clothing," he went on, "but you had insisted that the extra layers would hinder your movement. I am pleased to report that you eventually listened, although not until the second day, and the result was that you had to wear half of my gear and could hardly move without assistance."
He smiled at the memory, and then continued, detailing the various mishaps and misadventures of that mission. “You didn't mind, though, and you even thanked me. I have never heard anyone thank me for being right before, but I suppose there's a first time for everything."
He paused, and his voice grew quiet.
"You were the first to admit that you had been wrong, and the first to apologize. That was something else that I hadn't experienced before. Your apology was accepted, of course. I never held the incident against you, and I have never been able to be mad at you for more than a few minutes. That hasn't changed, either."
Tech sighed and adjusted his glasses.
"We're almost to our destination. The others are asleep, and the ship is quiet. I know you would enjoy the peace and quiet. There's no sound quite like the hum of the engines, and the silence of space."
He fell silent, thinking about what he wanted to say next. He took another breath, and his next words were spoken almost reverently.
"I miss you, Sarad. I hope you are well. I know that you will contact me when you are ready, and I am confident that it will be soon. But until then, I will keep the record, and I will share it with you when you return. For now, though, I will wait.
"I love you, Sarad. And I will see you soon."
And, his eyes fixed on the stars outside, he reached up and switched off the recording.
For a while, he just sat there, staring out the window at the stars. They blurred, and he blinked, the tears gathering on his eyelashes. He wiped them away, and then looked down at his hands. They were still shaking, and he curled them into fists, trying to stop the tremors.
Eventually, the shaking stopped, and Tech looked up at the stars again. He didn't know why he was shaking, or why his hands were sweating, or why his throat felt so tight.
Perhaps it is because I am afraid, he thought.
It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it was true.
He was afraid, because he didn't know when, or even if, you would contact him again. He didn't know if he would see you again. And even if he did, he didn't know what would happen.
So many questions, and so few answers.
He was used to working with facts, but he was finding that this situation was lacking. And that meant that he didn't know what would happen.
It was frightening, the not knowing.
Tech was used to being in control. It was his job, as the technician and navigator of the team. He had to know how to fix things, and when to do it, and where. But he had no control over you, and no control over the galaxy, and no control over the future.
And that scared him.
But then, suddenly, he remembered something you had said to him, long ago, on a different planet and a different day.
You'd asked him about a strange phenomena occurring on the horizon, and he had floundered in his answer. The best he could ascertain, it was some sort of magnetic field, caused by a large mass of rock below the surface. He hadn’t been certain, and it had bothered him.
He had been frustrated, but you had only smiled and placed a hand on his arm.
"That's okay," you'd told him. "It doesn't have to have an explanation. It can just be. If we try to figure out the cause of everything, we won't have time to enjoy it.”
He had tried to argue, but had eventually given in.
"Besides," you'd added, "I'd rather spend time with you, and not on finding the answer.”
Your words had surprised him, and for a moment, he hadn’t been able to respond.
"You...want to spend time with me?"
"Of course I do," you had replied.
"But...why?"
"Because I love you."
He'd been speechless.
"Oh," he'd said.
You'd laughed, and he had been able to do nothing but stand there and stare at you.
"I'm sorry," you had said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No, no," he had managed. "It's...I'm fine. Just...you..."
"Love you?"
"Yes."
"I do."
"Oh."
Tech had had no idea how to respond. The words didn't seem real. But when you had smiled, and reached for his hand, he had finally begun to understand.
"I'm sorry," you had apologized again. "I've wanted to say that for a while, but I wasn't sure how. I thought that you would find it odd."
“You are odd, yes," he had agreed, "but not in the way you think."
"What do you mean?"
"I find you to be odd in a pleasant way," he had explained. "You're...different. In a good way."
"That's very poetic, coming from you."
"I was not being poetic," he had corrected you. "I was simply stating the truth."
Sarad had laughed again. "So what is it, then?"
"You are unique," he had told you. "There is no one else like you. You are an anomaly, and a rare one at that. I am glad to have met you."
You had been quiet for a moment.
"I'm glad, too," you had said.
And then you had kissed him, and he had felt something new and exciting and wonderful.
"I love you," you had murmured.
He had been unable to say the words back, but he had known that he would say them one day. And, after that, every day.
And so he had kissed you, and the two of you had watched the lightshow together, and it had been perfect.
Tech looked up at the stars now, remembering the way the sky had glowed, and the warmth of your hand on his arm.
That was where his memory ended. But the words came back to him, and he found himself repeating them.
"I love you," he whispered.
The words seemed small and insignificant compared to the vastness of space, and the galaxy, and all the planets and stars beyond. But they were real, and they were true, and that was all that mattered.
They were real, and so were you.
And the not knowing was terrifying, but Tech was patient. He would wait, and he would see you again. And the words would mean more then, because he would be able to say them, and you would hear them, and everything would be alright.
Tech believed in the infinite possibilities of the universe, and this was his.
This was his, and so he would wait, and he would remember, and he would know that the words were true, and someday, he would say them to you again.
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Every day, Tech waited for a signal.
And every day, there was nothing.
His patience began to wane, and every time the Marauder made a stop, he would search the area for a sign, a clue, anything that would lead him to you. But he never found anything, and he would have to go back to the ship empty-handed.
His recordings to you were becoming short, and less frequent. He couldn't hide the bitterness and disappointment from his voice, and so he recorded fewer messages.
He didn't know why you hadn't contacted him. Maybe it was because you didn't want to.
But no. You loved him.
He didn't want to consider the alternative.
You loved him. You wouldn't have left him.
Would you?
He didn't know, and that scared him.
What if you didn't want to see him? What if you had found someone else?
What if you had realized that you were better off without him?
No.
You loved him. You would never leave him. Not forever.
And yet, he was beginning to wonder.
What if it had been a mistake? What if he had been wrong, and you weren't safe, or alive?
No.
You were alive. You had to be.
And yet, as the days wore on, he found himself doubting.
The distance between them was supposed to keep her safe, but maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe something had happened. Maybe you had changed your mind.
He tried to reassure himself. You were a capable Jedi, and if anyone could handle themselves in the face of danger, it was you.
But the longer you were gone, the harder it was to convince himself that you were still alive.
It didn't help that he hadn't received a single message since that first one. He'd had no word, no hint of your location, or condition, or state of mind.
It was frustrating, and he hated it.
He hated the waiting, and the uncertainty.
And so, as the months went by, and the number of his messages began to dwindle, his doubt grew. Much had changed in his life in the last months. They’d stopped fighting, stopped running, and had moved on to a new place to call home.
They had moved on, and so had he.
Well, most of him.
Some part of him was still waiting, and some part of him was still looking for a sign, for a message, for anything that would let him know that you were alive.
And, as the months went by, he realized that this wasn't going to change.
So he recorded one final message.
"Hello, Sarad. I know that this will be the last recording I make, as I am unsure when, or if, you will ever return. But I want to assure you that I am doing well, and so are my brothers.
"We are settled on a planet called Pabu, and we are all enjoying the peace and quiet. I know that you would enjoy the atmosphere here, as well. The sunsets are particularly beautiful, and I can't help but wonder if you have seen any yourself."
He paused, his throat constricting slightly.
"I miss you," he said quietly. "But I hope that you are happy, wherever you are. I know that it isn't fair of me to ask, and I don't expect an answer, but I do wish you would tell me.
"Tell me if you are safe. Tell me if you are well. Tell me if you have forgotten me. Please, Sarad, just tell me something. Anything."
He was quiet for a moment, and then shook his head.
"But you won't answer, will you? And you won't tell me. And so I will have to move on. It is the logical thing to do, and I am certain that it will benefit me greatly."
Tech fell silent again. His throat felt dry, and his eyes were burning. He didn't know why, but it was getting hard to breathe.
"I want to apologize," he continued, "for being so impatient. And I want to tell you that I don't blame you, and that I still care for you, and that I understand if you have chosen to forget me. But I want to thank you for the time we spent together. It was an experience unlike any other, and I am grateful for it. I will not forget you, Sarad. I hope that you will not forget me."
Tech's hands were trembling, and he took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.
"I hope you are well. And, if we never meet again, I wish you luck. I wish you happiness. And, most of all, I wish you peace."
Tech paused, and then, in a small voice, added:
"I love you."
The last message uploaded to his datapad, and Tech stared down at the file, his heart aching. He could feel the tears beginning to fall, and he wiped them away angrily.
Why was he crying? There was no reason to.
But still, the tears continued, and Tech let them come. He would cry for Sarad, and for the life that he would never have with you. He would cry for the love that he had lost, and the pain that he had endured, and the hope that had slowly died inside him.
And, when his tears were spent, he would close the file, and he would put his emotions aside, and he would move on.
He would have to.
Because that was the logical thing to do.
Tech looked up, and the stars were blurred by the tears. He blinked, and the image cleared.
He would have to move on.
He would have to, but not yet.
His finger hovered over the message, and then he pressed delete.
The file disappeared, and Tech watched the screen for a moment, the only sound the beating of his own heart.
He would have to move on, but not yet.
Not tonight.
Not while the sky was so full of stars. Not while the night was so quiet, and the wind so gentle, and the grass so soft beneath his feet.
Not while the memories were so clear.
Tech leaned back against the cool metal of the ship, his eyes fixed on the stars, and he let his thoughts drift.
He remembered the way you had looked at him, and the way you had touched him, and the way you had loved him. He remembered the way your hair had shone in the starlight, and the way your hands had felt against his skin. He remembered the way your lips had tasted, and the way your arms had held him, and the way your laughter had sounded, so sweet and joyful and free.
And he remembered the way the moonlight had danced across your features, and the way the breeze had ruffled your hair, and the way your smile had made him feel alive.
Tech closed his eyes, and let the memories wash over him.
And for a moment, just one brief, shining moment, the darkness was filled with starlight.
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The day started like any other.
Tech woke up at the same time, dressed, and made his way to the kitchen, where Hunter was already making breakfast. He sat down at the table, and began scrolling through the daily news on his datapad, searching for anything of interest.
"Anything interesting happen yesterday?" Hunter asked, placing a plate of food in front of him.
"Not much," Tech replied, taking a bite of his breakfast. "A few minor scuffles, and a large cargo transport crash. It seems that the pilot was intoxicated, and he managed to take out half a block."
"Sounds fun," Hunter replied dryly. "Anything else?"
"Just the usual," Tech replied.
Hunter hummed in acknowledgement, and then asked, "How about last night? Did you stay up late recording more of those messages?"
Tech hesitated. He hadn't told Hunter about the messages, or any of his brothers. He assumed they knew, but they couldn’t know their purpose, and so he had kept the messages private.
"Yes," he finally answered. "I did."
"How many do you have now?"
"A few," Tech answered, his tone noncommittal.
"How many is a few?"
"Several."
"Dozens?"
"Yes." He twisted his mouth. “Hundreds.”
"Have you ever thought about sharing them?"
"No," Tech answered immediately.
"Why not?"
"Because they're private," Tech replied, his voice a little sharper than intended. “Because they're for her, and only her."
Hunter sighed, and Tech could feel the disappointment in the sound. He knew that his brother didn't understand his actions, but Tech didn't need him to. He knew what he was doing.
"You're still waiting, then."
"Yes."
"Tech, it's been over a year," Hunter said quietly. "She's gone."
"She's not gone," Tech replied, his grip on his fork tightening.
"Tech," Hunter repeated, his voice firmer.
His fork clattered against the plate, and Tech pushed his chair back, standing up.
"She's not dead," he snapped, his hand curling into a fist. "She's alive. She has to be."
"Tech, please," Hunter pleaded. "Don't go. I'm just trying to help."
"I don't need your help," Tech shot back. "And I don't need you to tell me what to do. So, if you'll excuse me, I have a message to record."
He rounded the table, brushing past his brother. But as he did, Hunter reached out and caught his arm. Tech glared at him, but Hunter didn't flinch. He just looked at him, and Tech felt his anger falter.
"Vod," Hunter said, his voice low. "Please. She's not coming back. And these recordings are just going to make things worse. "I know it's hard, but you have to let her go."
"I will," Tech replied. "But not today."
"Tech..."
"No," Tech cut him off. He pulled his arm from Hunter's grip and straightened his shoulders. "I won't do it."
"Tech, please," Hunter said. "I just want you to be happy."
"I will," Tech replied, his voice tight. "But not today."
"Alright, Tech." Hunter sighed and stepped back, his hand falling to his side. "Alright. Not today."
"Thank you," he managed. He swallowed hard and nodded. “I will see you at dinner, I assume."
"Of course," Hunter replied, his voice equally quiet.
Tech left the kitchen and made his way back to his room, ignoring the stares of Wrecker and Omega as he passed. He was sure they would ask Hunter about his outburst, and he was sure that Hunter would tell them. He didn't care. Let them talk. They didn't know anything.
He knew that they thought he was delusional. That he was clinging to false hope. That he was denying reality. And maybe they were right. But he couldn't stop. He couldn't just give up. Not when there was a chance, no matter how small, that he would see you again. And until that chance was gone, he would continue to wait.
The door slammed shut behind him, and Tech dropped onto his bed, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. His leg bounced restlessly at his side, and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears.
It was too loud, too bright, too much.
He needed to calm down. He needed to focus.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He focused on his breathing, on the sound of his heartbeat, on the feeling of the sheets beneath his fingers. You had helped him practice this exercise before, and he could remember the way you had guided him, your voice soft and gentle as you sat next to him on the floor of the cockpit.
Tech inhaled deeply, and then exhaled, slowly, letting his breath out in a long, steady stream. The sound of his breathing filled the room, and he felt himself relax. He continued the exercise, repeating the motions until his heart rate had slowed, and his breathing had evened out
He could still feel the anger, but it was lessening. He could still hear the voices of his brothers, but they were becoming muffled. He could still see the sunlight filtering through the window, but the glare was beginning to fade.
He breathed, and the world around him settled. He felt drained, and he lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
He was supposed to see you again. You were supposed to be happy. You were supposed to be safe.
You weren't supposed to be gone.
Tech didn't move for a long time, and when he finally did, it was only to get up and check his datapad. He had no new messages, and so he placed it on the nightstand and turned away.
The day dragged on, and Tech did his best to keep himself occupied. He tinkered with his new projects, cleaned the kitchen, and reorganized his storage of supplies. He didn’t speak at dinner, and no one commented. By the time evening rolled around, he was exhausted, and he found himself back in his room, alone with his thoughts.
He didn't know what to do, and so he sat on his bed, the datapad in his hands, and waited.
The day had been uneventful, and the hours had passed slowly. The sun had set, and the stars had come out, and still, he had no answers.
It was late now, and he was tired. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. Not with the anger and frustration and hurt gnawing at his heart.
He didn't know why he was feeling this way, and it only made him angrier.
He wanted answers, but there were none.
There were no messages, no clues, no sign of you.
Just the stars, and the darkness, and the silence.
Tech sighed, and placed the datapad on the nightstand once more. He resigned himself to another sleepless night, and was about to turn out his light when a hard knock pounded on his door.
Tech jolted upright, his heart leaping in his chest. He hadn't expected anyone, and for a moment, he could only sit there, his mind racing.
The door swung open, and Wrecker came barreling in. The force of the door hitting the wall sent a shower of dust raining down from the ceiling, and Tech held his breath as he saw Sarad's clay flower teeter on its perch.
"Tech!" Wrecker bellowed.
"Wrecker, keep it down," Tech hissed, leaping forward to steady the flower. "The others are asleep."
“You need to come outside. Now."
"What?" Tech turned, the flower in his hands. "Why?"
"Just come," Wrecker replied.
"Fine," Tech sighed, carefully placing the flower back on the shelf. As soon as it was back in its place, Wrecker wrapped a hand around his arm and dragged him from the room.
"Wrecker," Tech protested. "Let me go."
"Sorry, can't do that," Wrecker replied, practically shoving him down the hall.
They were nearly at the front door when Hunter and Omega appeared, their eyes wide and hair messy.
"What's going on?" Tech asked, trying and failing to pry his brother's hand off his arm.
"Echo just landed," Hunter replied. "He says there's something we need to see."
Tech’s brow furrowed in confusion. They hadn’t been expecting Echo to return for several weeks, and he had no idea what could be so urgent.
"What is it?"
"He wouldn't say," Hunter replied. "But he sounded pretty shaken."
Tech felt a twinge of worry. Echo wasn't the type to overreact, and if he was acting strangely, there was probably a good reason.
"Then we should hurry," Tech said, his voice tense.
"Right," Hunter replied. "Come on."
They followed Hunter out the door, and up the path that led to the landing pad. They didn't speak, and Tech was glad. He didn't think he would be able to carry a conversation right now. The village was dark, and the streets were empty. The only sound was the echo of their footsteps as they hurried along.
Finally, they reached the landing pad, and Tech saw the outline of the Remora in the distance, its lights glowing softly.
As they approached, Echo strode down the ramp, his face drawn and pale.
"Hey," Hunter said, his voice worried. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Echo replied, his voice shaky. "I'm fine."
"What happened?"
"I don't know," Echo said, his voice trembling slightly. "But I think you should see this."
He gestured to the ship, and Tech and his brothers stepped forward, following Echo up the ramp.
The inside of the Remora was dimly lit, and Tech squinted, trying to make out the details. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that there was someone sitting in the navigator's chair.
"Echo, what—“
His question died in his throat as the figure turned around, and Tech felt the world tilt beneath his feet.
It was you.
You were here.
You were alive.
Your name came out as a strangled cry, and he stumbled towards you, his heart hammering in his chest. He could hear his brothers calling out behind him, their voices distant and muted. He barely registered their words, or their presence, or anything other than the sight of you in front of him.
You were real.
"Sarad," he breathed.
Your lips curled into a smile, and you reached out, your hand resting gently on his cheek. Your touch was warm, and soft, and familiar, and he felt the tears spring to his eyes.
"My love," you whispered, and he closed his eyes, allowing the sound of your voice to wash over him. It was music, and joy, and home, and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.
"Sarad," he murmured, leaning into your touch.
"I'm here," you replied softly. He felt the tears spilling over, and you wiped them away gently.
"You're here," he choked out, his voice thick with emotion.
"Tech." You said his name like a prayer, and he opened his eyes, gazing at you. "I'm sorry it took me so long."
He didn't reply. Instead, he closed the distance between you, and his arms were around you before he even realized what he was doing. He pulled you to him, his grip tightening as he felt the solid warmth of your body. You were here. You were real.
"You're here," he breathed, his voice muffled by your shoulder. "You're alive."
"Yes." Your voice shook, and your arms tightened around him. "I'm here. I'm alive."
He held you for a moment longer, and then drew back, his hands cupping your face. He studied your features, taking in the sight of you. You looked tired, but there was no mistaking the warmth and affection in your gaze.
“You changed your hair," he said, running a hand through the short strands. The words came out hoarse and broken, and he swallowed thickly, trying to regain control.
"Yeah," you murmured, your fingers curling around his wrist.
"It suits you," he said. He was having a hard time forming complete sentences. He wanted to say so many things, but the words were stuck in his throat.
You laughed, the sound weak and breathless, but it was a laugh, and Tech found himself smiling.
"Tech, I'm sorry," you said, your voice shaking. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to contact you. I couldn't—“
"It's alright," Tech said, his voice quiet. "It's okay. You're here now."
"I missed you," you said, tears welling in your eyes.
"I missed you too," he replied, his thumb brushing across your cheek. “I can't believe you're here. I didn't think—"
He broke off, his voice faltering.
"You're really here," he whispered.
"Yes," you replied, your hand curling around his.
"I was so afraid," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I thought...I thought I'd lost you."
"I'm sorry," you murmured, pressing a kiss to his palm. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't care," Tech said, his voice steadying. "I don't care about the past. All that matters is that you're here. You're alive. You're home."
"Home," you repeated, your eyes meeting his. "That sounds nice."
He kissed you then, and he felt your arms wrap around him, pulling him close. He poured every ounce of love and longing and joy into the kiss, and when you finally drew back, both of you were breathless.
"I love you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.
"I love you too," you replied, your voice trembling slightly.
"I didn't say it enough." Tech's voice was thick with emotion.
"That's okay," you said, a smile spreading across your lips. "I knew."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I should have said it. Every day."
"You can start now," you said, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek.
"I love you," he breathed. "So much."
"I love you, too," you said, tears welling in your eyes.
Tech drew you into another kiss, and this one was softer, more tender. It was a promise, and a vow, and a declaration of love, and when he pulled back, he felt his breath catch in his throat. Your eyes were bright with tears, and your lips were trembling, but you were alive. You were here, and you were safe. And he loved you so much, it was like a physical ache.
"Don't cry," he murmured, brushing them away.
"I'm sorry," you laughed weakly. "I just can't believe it. I never thought...I'm just so happy. So, so happy."
"I am too," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "So happy. And I have so much to tell you. So much has happened. But...there is time for that later. For now, I just want to be here. With you."
"Yes," you whispered. "I'd like that."
You leaned in, resting your head against his chest, and his arms wrapped around you, holding you close. And, as you clung to him, and the tears began to fall, Tech couldn’t help but be grateful for the infinite possibilities of the universe, and the chance it had given him to be with you again.
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Taglist: @covert1ntrovert @bruh-myguy-what @spicy-clones @arctrooper69 @qvnthesia @heidnspeak @Kindalonleystars @totallyunidentified @baddest-batchers @cw80831 @lovelytech9902
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theoriginalkaminari · 4 months ago
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Imagine Giyuu Tomioka having a partner like Zoë Hange of Attack On Titan.
◇Notes: dude I just started watching Demon Slayer and its already my new hyperfixation and I've watched so much already mannnn◇
♧References, swears, silly stuff because I'm coping, also this is actual horse shit (guys i miss hange so much)♧
Like imagine you are completely fucking OBSESSED with demons, similar to how Hange is with Titans.
You spend hours and days without sleep as you study and observe the demon you captured, giggling maniacally to yourself as you watch it struggle.
"Tell me, how do us humans taste?" You ask it, sitting backwards on a chair as you face it. The demon is chained down as Giyuu watches it, katana at the ready.
The demon growls loudly at you, bearing its teeth. You grin devilishly and nod. "I see. We must be an acquired taste, then." You say as you cross your arms, your eyes never leaving the demon's face.
Its not like the demon can't talk, it just doesn't want to. Which makes you yap even more.
"So." You begin, pacing around the room. "Since you refuse to tell me your name," you stop, kneeling down in front of the chained up demon.
"Your name is now Mochi." You grin devilishly, a sparkle in your eyes. Giyuu sighs, leaning against the wall. He's seen you name and talk to the demons as if they were your children, which he quite frankly thinks is weird, but unique.
A few days later, you brought in a friend for Mochi, another demon you named Teeth. You called him Teeth because he tried stabbing you with his own tooth.
Teeth was a lot more talkative. Mostly about how he would one day escape from the chains and kill you, and you only laughed and patted his head.
Giyuu didn't really mind how close you physically got to the demons, because he knew you would be smart and quick enough to dodge if they tried to break free.
However....he did think it was strange how you told bedtime stories to the demons.
But he does think Mochi enjoyed the company.
Mochi and Teeth only lasted for a few days before Sanemi killed him.
"MOCHI!" Your screams of sorrow fill the halls of the estate, crying at your knees as Giyuu rubs your back comfortingly. "TEETHHHH!!"
Giyuu seems more confused by this, but decides to finish comforting you. Sanemi rolls his eyes, getting more annoyed by the minute.
Mitsuri crouches down to you, smiling nervously as she strokes your hair. "Now, now, crying won't help anything! Why don't you review everything Mochi taught you?" She says in her usual soft tone. You just continue to sob as you mourn your dear demon pets, Teeth and Mochi.
Giyuu leaves to get you another pet demon.
He doesn't like it, but he likes seeing you happy.
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stubz · 3 months ago
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"Human Kim's mate is dead?!" cries Calis.
"What?! Kim has a mate?!" cries Max
"She is your comrade! How did you not know she has-had a mate?!?"
"But what about Fenrir-wait is Fenrir dead???"
"Human Kim had her bonding band before courting Fenrir, I'm talking about her other mate."
"She's cheating?? Fenrir is the other man...orc???"
"Do humans not have multiple mates?"
"I mean...not usually no...but wait lets back up a minute. How do you know Kim's mate is dead and what do you mean by bonding band, do you mean a ring that goes on a finger?"
"I cannot believe you, her comrade of 5 years, have not noticed her longing rubbing her ankle. How she no longer has the bright orange band on her left ankle. How she looks at her communication device...phone? and looks at what I guess is a photo."
"...wait the orange band? Made out of fabric? Like string?"
"So you have noticed, why have you not consoled her then??"
"...hold on a sec. I'll be back in a moment."
"Are you getting her? Bring her to the command room then, we shall have something for her."
"....how many people think her mate is dead!?"
.
"Why are we going to the command room?"
"Just keep walking. I have a question for you but I need you to answer in front of a lot of people."
"Ookay?" the humans enter the command room and see it decorated dark and somber. Friends and close co-workers are there dressed in black or their respective mourning attire. Calis steps forward.
"Hu-Kim...Kim we are so very sorry for the loss of your mate...may they join the galaxy as a brilliant star and may you both reunite someday in the great beyond..." They slowly grab her five fingered hand with their four fingered hand.
"...If anything were to happen to Gala...I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. If there's anything you need, anything at all, just ask."
"...Calis...thank you so much...but I don't have a mate?"
"That's what I was saying!" exclaims Max. "If she did then she would've told me, her work best friend!!"
"...but the band on your ankle and your sadness?"
"...Kay I did not notice that but yeah what's up? You alright?" he turns to his short friend
"Ohhh, you mean my friendship anklet?"
"Friend-ship anklet? ...not a bonding band?"
"It was made by my best friend, no offense Max, on Earth the last time I saw her in person 'bout...almost 2 years ago? Anyways it finally fell off since its string and I just miss having it."
"None taken."
"So no one died? She's still alive?"
"Yeah, I just texted her yesterday about the anklet and she said she'll just tattoo one on me cause it'll ward off Max...no offense Max...she just can't accept that I have more than one best friend."
"Again none taken...wait is this the friend who hated you at first and you didn't know so you kept being friendly to her until eventually she accepted you and you've been best friends for like almost 10 years?"
"She...hated you?"
"Oh yeah, she thought I was really annoying but I'm pretty dense so I just kept being nice and going to eat lunch with her throughout high school until after like...2-3 months she gave up and accepted my friendship. Oh! and I didn't know any of this until like this year." she grins
"That's a beautiful friendship right there...makes me jealous about how boringly we met and bonded over anime and musicals."
"On most planets beings would maul you over your annoyance...would you like some of the cake we got you before we knew no one died?"
"Yes please! Also thank you everybody but sadly...and luckily no one died!!" she calls out to the dozen or so aliens and humans in the command room.
"...wait you thought I was having an affair with Fenrir!?" cries a horrified Kim
"That's what I was saying!!" screams Max
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pennyserenade · 4 months ago
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devil in his heart | jackson rippner x reader
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summary | after finding out your long-time boyfriend's real occupation, you have to grapple with who he really is. rating | (explicit) tags/warnings | 18+, dark, dubcon (bordering on noncon), smut, explicit smut, fingering, degradation, violence word count | 1.9k+ a/n | i honest to god don't know what possessed me, but we are all grown ups here. read with caution! enjoy! love ya! also: i wrote this to devil in his heart by the donays and he's got the power by the exciters, if you're interested in a soundtrack. not beta'd
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Truth be told, this is the best game of cat and mouse he's had in years, and he doesn't like that it's ending so soon.
As he gets on your level, crouching near your slumped form, Jackson almost feels a little sorry that you couldn't win. It's not that you weren't witty enough--you were. It's just that, well, he's better. This reminds him of when he was ten and had wanted to go to space only to figure out when he was twelve that he was too scared of the vastness of the galaxy. Some things are just out of reach, too good to be true. He mourns it all the same.
His fingers tenderly push back sweat soaked strands of hair from your face. You look up at him, blurry-eyed, but still so resolute--lips thinned, smoldering with anger. God. He swipes a finger across your lip just to know what it feels like, and likes it better for the fact that you jerk away so aggressively that you knock your head back into the wall.
His tongue clicks. "You should've known, after following me all those weeks, that I'm good at this."
Jackson wraps his fingers tightly around your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes. You give in, mostly because you have so little energy to protest. His eyes look ominously glacial, lit up only by the moonlight cascading in from the window.
You look down at his lips; the flesh there is still swollen, broken from the harsh swing of your elbow earlier in the night. His tongue spears out to feel at the area. "You're a sloppy assassin, baby. My blood's all over this goddamn place. All over you--" he gestures down to your simple white tee shirt, which has been made dirty with dirt, sweat, blood. You don't care. You feel dizzy and half-scared to pass out, to even think of it, because you've never seen him look quite like this.
You think back to that first time you met him, how he had seemed so polite. He was traveling by train to visit his folks back home for Christmas (he said things like 'folks' in a crisp Midwestern accent, for God's sake). He had said he worked in life insurance policy, which made you laugh and caused him to say, "I know, I know--ironic, Jack Rippner dealing out life insurance." You had thought it was ironic. It is: ironically cruel.
He buys his ties from GAP, his dress shirts from Macy's, likes EggNog and celebrates the fourth of July with as much enthusiasm as any plain, good-hearted American man can.
He’s met your mother; he loves her breadsticks.
You spit on him. It takes the very last of your strength, but it's worth it to see the way his eyes ignite. His hand wipes it off, thumb running through the saliva on his fingers as his lips purse. "You know," he begins, voice eerily calm, "I always thought we'd make good parents. God knows we've come close to it enough times. You just can't help but beg for my cum in you, the slut you are." He chuckles darkly. "I always imagined that you'd be the good cop and I'd be the bad one."
Jackson pushes your head back into the wall, propping you there, almost choking you, but not quite. You let out a deep, wavering breath. He smirks. "But I see that's not the case now, is it? You don't seem to like very much when I play with my food before I eat it, do you?" His fingers press against your lips again, saliva coated. You let him. "Here I thought, all along, 'my baby's a goddamn pacifist. She didn't even like fishing!' It kept me up at night, the idea of you finding out what I did. But look at you!" His thumb tenderly strokes your neck, moving around a mysterious fluid--could be your blood, his blood, spit, water, anything. "I think if I reached between your legs now, you'd be soaked."
You choke out a sound of protest, wiggling beneath his gasp. He tuts, his fingers digging more tightly into your throat. For a brief moment, you can’t breathe. You find enough strength to claw at his hand, to widen your eyes and plead.
“C’mon, you’ll like this. You always do.” He loosens his grip on your neck.
As you gasp for air, Jackson knocks your legs apart. It doesn’t take much effort to get your cunt—you’d foolishly made the mistake of wearing a dress today—and he hums in delight when his fingers reach past your cotton underwear, confirming what he suspected to be true. His lips form into a mocking pout as your eyes begin to well with tears. It's not fear—you’re beyond that. It’s anger. The betrayal of this curdles inside you, eating you alive. Your eyes fill with ire.
“Don’t be that way,” he shakes his head, softening a degree. He holds your chin between his fingers again, the other hand rubbing wide circles over your clit. “I’m not going to kill you. How could I? I’m not sure what I’m going to do with you, truth be told, but it’s not that.”
Your hips jerk involuntarily, causing him to growl. “That’s the spirit, kitten. When you hit me earlier, I thought—after, of course, 'God she’s a bitch!’—that you might be a good asset. I know you’ve got a lot of morals holding you back right now, so I figure I’ll let you do the easy work at first. Let you think you’re doing some good in the world.” He presses down on your clit, his touch more intent, more focused. You squirm, hating the way he knows that you like it like this.
His fingers slip down into your cunt, wetting them. “Fuck, you’re soaking. If this is how you get when we do this, you might just reform me. I’m not opposed. We—“ he reattaches his fingers to your cunt. You whine, arching into his touch.“—could do good work. I freelance, if you couldn’t tell already. Though I’m sure you can. You’re a thorough investigator when you want to be. That’ll be helpful, too.”
Jackson picks up his pace, swallowing as he stares down at your lap. He can’t see anything, his hand hidden beneath the fabric of the dress and your underwear, but it seems to thrill him all the same. You too, admittedly.
“I—I couldn’t,” you retort, biting at your lip. “You—you kill!”
“Don’t be such a prude,” he deadpans. “It’s political assassinations and occasionally, though very rarely, an innocent bystander. And I do my best to make sure those cases are few and far between. I do.” He presses down more intently, watching with delight as you squirm, trying not to cum. “Oh, go on. It’s just you and me here. No one’s gonna know except me, and I won’t tell anyone. I’m good with secrets. You know that now.”
He’s near exultant, talking to you about this. The pitch of his voice is higher, and he’s looking at you like he’s won a prize of the highest degree. You’d spit on him again if he wasn’t making you feel so goddamn good.
“I won’t do it,” you shake your head firmly. Jackson takes the opportunity to slip a finger in your cunt, to press in and show you how much he has always—will always—know you.
“Okay, okay, I’ll bite,” he soothes, entering another. It’s a squeeze, but a welcome one, especially when he begins to thrust them against the spongy surface of your walls. Your toes curl, and you hate him, hate him violently. “If you want me to be rough, you really only have to ask, but since you like this game so much we’ll play it.”
As he fingers you, he begins to palm your clit. The sensation is overwhelming. Tears cascade down your face and he leans forward, licking them from your lips. The warmth of the orgasm rises in you alarmingly quick, his fingers deftly touching the inside of you, his palm lining with your clit each time you rut involuntarily. Your body knows him. It trusts him. He knows it.
The orgasm licks through you like a goddamn flame, igniting everything and leaving it all worse for it. When you cry out, Jackson smirks, so fucking pleased. But he doesn’t stop. He goes on, rubbing down harder, thrusting in quicker, until you’re wiggling beneath him.
“Please!” you say, trying to move his hand away.
He’s resolute. “No can do, honey. You’ve been a naughty girl, indulgent in the worst way. Gluttony is a sin, and I've been good–I’ve never punished you for it before–but you’ve hurt my feelings now.”
He slides in a third finger, his crystal eyes dark in the shadows. You feel impossibly full, and on the brink of another orgasm. You whine out. He knocks your head back into the wall with force. It doesn’t take your breath away, but it stuns you to silence. “That’ll be enough of that. This is for me now, got it? Getting you all wet so my cock will fit in that tight cunt of yours. Want you to hear it, your pussy taking me.”
As if to prove a point, he thrusts in again, and you do hear it—the way your body allows him in. An obscene squelch. You bite your lip, feel more tears fall down your cheeks.
“Jackson—“ you plead. You’re tired, achy, terribly confused. He works you open so well. You can smell the sour sweet smell of his body odor. You love it. You cannot help it. Your body trusted this man for so long. Still does.
You fool, you tell yourself, before your body gives way to his will again—you collapse into him, screaming out a silent whimper as the orgasm makes you convulse.
“That’s it,” he encourages, not stopping. “Be good for me. If you’re good, we’ll make this enterprise into a family business. If you’re bad—well, we’ll just have to make this our life, won’t we? You all weak, me with all the power. I don’t think you’ll like it, but you understand, it’s how it must be done if you don’t obey.”
He sighs, as if it’s putting him out too.
You know he’s serious. What’s worse is you know he’s right: that you won’t like it, that he’ll get his way eventually.
When you give in, he knows immediately, lips quirking up into a smirk.
“That’s my girl,” he whispers, pressing his lips to your temple. “I always knew you had it in you a little. You were always such a whore for me. I’m happy it worked out so well for us both. Now–” He pushes your legs further apart, moving in with his own hips. “Let’s play your most favorite game. It’s longer, requires more patience, but I like it just as much as you do.”
The jingle of his belt buckle makes a shot of fear, mixed with arousal, shoot up your spine. You think: God, no.
He laughs darkly. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ve been making sure you’ve been taking your birth control. I’m not really ready for that, either. It’s just the idea that thrills you, isn’t it anyway? And that smallest, tiniest chance that it could happen.” He smirks, loosening his belt. His fingers exit you, leaving you empty, feeling scandalized and ruined. Jackson rubs them on the cloth of your dress, uncaring.
“I hate you,” you spit out, venom lacing your words.
He looks thoroughly amused as he releases his weeping cock from his underwear. “No you don’t. You’re just ashamed of yourself. But fear not–” he wipes a tear off your face, “--when we’re done here, you’ll be glad for this. Just remember, baby, that I’m on your side.”
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uravitsy · 10 months ago
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‘YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL’ SATORU GOJO
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ACT ONE.
summary. gojo visits your grave once a year, reflecting on the limited time he had with you while going through the stages of grief. ☆
warnings. angst, sad!gojo, fem!reader! gojo x you, grief, established relationship, some smut if you squint, bittersweet ending
a/n. this is a short story i wrote over the summer, i wanted to dabble into the idea of gojo not being able to fully process his grief without the help of his students. it is a bit sad though.
ACT TWO : ̗̀➛ ACT THREE : ̗̀➛ FINALE
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𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪
"Does Gojo-sensei seem…different today?" Itadori asked absentmindedly, leaning back in his chair while balancing a pencil on his nose. He was doing everything else but the work he was supposed to finish before class ended. His two close friends, Megumi and Nobara, spared him a quick glance, as if debating whether to answer his ridiculous question.
"When is that nutjob ever okay?" Nobara bounced back another question, making Itadori stop balancing himself on his chair to think for once. The pencil he had on his face clattered onto the ground. "If anything, he's more extra than he was yesterday."
"Exactly," Itadori frowned, the invisible lightbulb above his head continuing to flicker as he thought long and hard about what Gojo could be upset about. He knew it was a stretch, and he himself wasn't too good at reading emotions, but he was sure something was off—from the way Gojo's smile seemed wider to the way his laughs went on for a second too long. "What do you think, Megumi?"
The black-haired boy stopped moving his pencil across the paper. His face remained stoic as the two beside him turned to look in his direction, anticipating an answer from him.
In short, Megumi did know why Gojo seemed off today, and it was all because of his vague memory of you.
He was a clueless child back then, but he felt it. He felt the love you and Gojo shared, something he had seen before between his own mother and father. It was strong, beautiful, like a song that only you and Gojo knew the lyrics to. It was a dance—a slow burn into the spotlight of a world you two created.
He admired it. He admired you and the person you helped Gojo become.
And though your memory was beautiful, it was also tragic. Megumi did mourn you since he remembered bits and pieces of you, but he was sure Gojo mourned you the most. Especially since today was the anniversary of your death. For as long as he's known Gojo, he knew that this one day out of the year was the time when he'd crack more jokes, tease him more, and laugh the loudest—all to mask his pain.
And he couldn't help but think it's because Gojo never properly grieved for you.
"He's the same as usual," Megumi lied. It wasn't their place to know, nor was it his. Everyone had their secrets and the stuff they keep to themselves. Who were they to pry into his business? "You guys should just drop it."
And with that, he went back to his assignment, ignoring the gawking stares from both of his friends.
"Well, now I'm even more curious," Itadori pouted, resting his chin on his hand as he looked out the window just in time to see Gojo's back as he skipped off campus. "He's literally leaving in the middle of the day!"
"Itadori—" Megumi started but got interrupted by his friends' loud voices.
"What?!" Nobara pushed Itadori away from the window so she could look. A sudden spark of curiosity consumed her as she cracked a mischievous grin. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"We should follow him!" they both said at the same time as they rushed out of the classroom with such speed they left papers flying behind them.
Megumi could only sigh. His peers were likely to get in trouble and drag him into their mess somehow. It never fails. He thought for a moment about how he would benefit from following them to make sure they didn't get caught leaving school grounds without a teacher, but he came up with nothing. He figured he should take his own advice and mind his own business, let those two knuckleheads do whatever they want and suffer the consequences for it.
They could potentially run into dangerous curses, dangerous people, or dangerous people controlling dangerous curses… and then suffer grave injuries. You know what? Maybe he should follow them from a distance.
Meanwhile, the door to the flower shop gave a soft ding as Gojo opened it. His tall frame took up the space in the small shop. Gojo ducked his head as he came in, careful not to knock over the potted plants that rested on the floor and shelves in no particular order. The air was stale with an earthy smell that was oddly comforting. It was good to know that the place remained the same after a year—the only thing that stayed the same in his chaotic life.
"Satoru!" an elderly woman looked up from her newspaper at the sound of the doorbell, thick circle glasses making her eyes appear large and almost fish-like. "Good to see you! How have you been?"
"Mrs. Yamada," Gojo bowed respectfully to the elder, to which the lady playfully pinched and pulled his cheeks. "Missed you too!"
"You silly boy, you know you can visit anytime and not just once a year, you know (Y/N) would've loved that, hm?" Mrs. Yamada made her way behind the counter, already grabbing and wrapping up a single flower. A flower that was your favorite, the same kind you'd always get whenever you would come into this small flower shop.
Gojo never understood why you didn't let him buy a whole bouquet of the flowers you loved. "Then I'd have to take care of all of them," you'd say, your laugh like a sweet melody in his ears that he constantly wanted to replay. "When it's just one, I feel like it lasts longer, you know? I seem to appreciate it more."
The memory made him frown slightly. If you allowed it, he would've bought the whole damn store for you, and you wouldn't just be stuck with a single flower. He didn't get it. He didn't get you. Even after all these years, he was still trying to figure you out.
"Ah, she used to come in every Sunday morning to say hello," Mrs. Yamada smiled warmly. "Always ready to hound me for something sweet to eat. (Y/N) had a nose like a hound and a stomach like a sumo wrestler." The brown wrapping paper crinkled against the elder's fingertips as she folded it around the flower. "Oh, how I miss her."
"Come now, Mrs. Yamada," Gojo leaned against the counter, tapping the wood with excitement. "She'd want us to smile, to celebrate her life, right?! Then that's exactly what we'll do."
"Satoru…"
Gojo waved his hands dismissively. "The usual price for the flowers, right?"
"Yes," Mrs. Yamada rang him up at the cash register before sliding the flower across the counter toward him. But before Gojo could grab it, she pulled it away. "I wanted to tell you before I closed up shop for the day, but… I will be retiring next month."
Gojo's smile fell then.
"I am getting too old, and ever since my husband's passing, I find it quite hard to manage this all on my own, no matter how much I love to do so," she patted the counter lightly, eyes glazed over in a daze as if recalling a memory. "I will be closing the shop and moving to America to stay with my daughter."
"Then are you going to sell the building?"
Gojo found himself asking before he could even think about what to say.
"I'll buy it."
Even in death, you were expensive. How was that possible? Gojo found himself using his savings to buy a whole flower shop that you weren't even here to see. But did that matter to him? Of course not. You were worth every penny—and the shop, to him, was nothing more than a shiny penny that he could buy for your sake. All because you loved it and would visit it often. Gojo couldn't let it close down; it was too valuable for the sake of the memories it held.
So now he owned a flower shop. What the hell was he going to do with a flower shop? He didn't know a damn thing about flowers.
"(Y/N)…" Gojo whispered your name as he pushed open the metal graveyard gate, the bolt making a loud creaking noise that echoed into the summer breeze.
It didn't take Gojo long to find your headstone. After all these years, he knew this cemetery like the back of his hand; at this point, it was like a second home to him. The only place where he could truly let the mask fall as he mourned for you.
In the years you've been gone, he had a long time to think—to wonder why you of all people had to be taken away from him. It made him question, curse, and cry to a higher power above if there was one. Would they be listening? Did they hear him? Did they understand the pain he was put through? And if everything was a part of the higher power's plan, then why was (Y/N) written in with such a tragic story? Why did her life become a song of such somber music?
It wasn't fair. And to Gojo, he would never make sense of it, no matter how hard he tried.
"Ah, it's a beautiful day, (Y/N)." Gojo smiled warmly at your headstone before sitting on the smooth tile, rummaging through his bag to pull out a rag so he could wipe the dust that was on top of your engraved name. "Though I bet you're complaining about how hot it is. I know, it is a little toasty, but a beautiful day nonetheless."
Wiping the concrete clean, Gojo made sure it was spotless with all the cleaning supplies he brought. He had to make up for the year he was away; that's why he always deep-cleaned your headstone since he knew he wouldn't be back until next year. He wanted you to watch the seasons go by with a pretty headstone, one that sparkled whenever the sun cast its rays on it.
"Hm?" Gojo tilted his head as if to hear your unspoken question again. "Oh! I'm doing good. Still teaching. You'd love these lot of kids, though. They have such great potential and are such a reckless bunch who enjoy escaping off campus to follow me here."
"Crap! He's onto us." Gojo heard Nobara's voice from the bushes behind him.
"Do you think he knows?" Itadori asked in his typically clueless fashion.
"He knows, dumbass." Megumi sighed before emerging from the bushes with twiddledee and twiddledumb trailing behind him. Their bantering stopped once they saw Gojo sitting by your headstone, the air suddenly becoming still as they made their way closer.
"Gojo-sensei, we can explain—!"
"Don't even," the white-haired man laughed before gesturing toward the headstone. "(Y/N), meet my students. Students, meet (Y/N)!"
"Ah! Nice to meet you!" Itadori bowed in respect, and so did Megumi.
"Why are we bowing to a dead—" Grabbing ahold of Nobara's hand, Itadori forcibly pulled her down so she could bow as well.
"Oh, you kids are in so much trouble," Gojo said with a gleeful smile. "I'm already thinking of all the ways to punish you."
"In my defense," Megumi started, "I tried to stop them."
"Yetttttt you're still here." Tilting his head, Gojo looked at his students playfully. "I hope you all enjoyed this field trip, but let's head back to campus, yeah? And get ice cream along the way!"
"Oh! Ice cream!" Itadori and Nobara spun around in a dance as they made their way toward the entrance of the cemetery, the pair just finding it best not to question who you were or what you were to Gojo. They could finally sense what Itadori was talking about that morning. He was different today, and it was clear he was sad. "La la la la la!"
"Let's go, Megumi. Do you still prefer chocolate?" Gojo turned to walk away but stopped in his tracks when he noticed Megumi staring at your grave with an expression he couldn't read. "Megumi?"
"Gojo-sensei…" His student turned to look at him. "I just want you to know that it's okay to be sad, to grieve for her."
Gojo chuckled, tucking his hand in his pocket as a breeze cut through the air, its chilled warmth wrapping around the pair. "Who's to say I don't? I grieve her every day."
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URAVITSY 2024
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thisonehere · 3 months ago
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Hi there! With the recent release of "Deadpool and Wolverine" a few days ago I was wondering if you could do an HC Imagine of the Lin Kuei Trio x Female Reader where she's got the same regenerative powers as Deadpool but they didn't know about it until something happens where the Reader is severely injured or briefly killed right in front of them and while they're busy mourning their loved one they don't notice the Reader casually getting back up and asking why they're crying scaring them out their stupor and reveal their power to them as is dying via decapitation is no big deal to them not understanding how traumatized they are after seeing their loved one die in front of them. I can't wait to see how you do the reactions of each brother and I'm hoping it's hilarious so good luck.
Lin Kuei Bros x Deadpool(ish) reader
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A/n: Kinda dark, I like it!
MK1, Request, Hc,
C/w: A little angst, mentions of blood
Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas stared down at you in horror.
You were lying there beneath them, or...at least a piece of you were lying right there, your head. Another part of you was over there somewhere, another Tomas accidentally stepped on.
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Things were running so smoothly, or that is at least what you all had thought. It was just supposed to be an in and out mission, but there was a problem underestimating your opponent and his power.
You were fighting some demonic sorcerer, a part of some trio called "The masters". You had no idea who or what they were, all you knew was that they were a threat that needed to be dealt with.
So you all snuck into their base, you all had made your way sneaking through the base, keeping to the shadows and silently killing every soldier you could get your hands on, until you finally found the main chamber where you target was.
They all fought furiously and prevailed over their assailants. But they hadn't noticed that you were hit during the battle. You ripped to shreds, your blood and guts were everywhere. You head laid before them with a shocked look permanently etched onto your decapitated head.
Bi-Han
No...
He is frozen for a second, all he can do is stare at you body, or whatever was left of your body.
Finally, his hands begin to clench as he begins to flinch. His eyes are basically bloodshot red as he turns and stares down the one responsible for this.
He savagely beats them to a bloody pulp. His fist crashes against their face numerous times, each strike never feeling like it's enough to calm the pain inside of him.
He...he loved you. He never told you this, but he did. And now your gone, he didn't realize how much he'd miss your joking, your smile
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to fight off the tears as he bloodies his fist.
Kuai Liang
By the Elder Gods, no...No!
He falls to his knees as stares in horror at what has happened to you.
He looks into you cold and dead eyes, once filled with joy, life, and ridiculous jokes, now reduced to grey, lifeless without the loving warmth he loved about you.
He thought of all the times he didn't tell you how much he loved you, all the times he didn't hold you close.
He bows his head as he prays over your soul, he hopes that you find peace in the afterlife.
Tomas
...
Swing you lying there, the image of his dead mother and sister flashed before his eyes.
Tomas felt numb inside, he didn't notice the tears falling down his face as he looked at you.
Of all the missions he has spent working with he, never for a second did he think a single on of them would be your last. But here you were.
You were amazing to him, he never of you ever being susceptible to defeat.
He blames himself, if only he could do something, if only he was stronger for you, then this would've never happened.
"Hey, Guys!"
At the sound of your voice, all the Lin Kuei boys jumped. Bi-Han stopped brutalizing the poor guy and Kuai stopped praying.
They stare at you with a mixture of horror and Confusion. You just stare back with a aloof grin on your face.
Tomas runs over to you, his eyes darts from this part of your body to another. "I-I don't understand, h-how.."
"How what?" You stare back, oblivious to their horror and confusion. "Your head was ripped off and your body was torn apart!" Kuai Yells, his eyes wide with conflict. He doesn't know if he should be happy or upset. You being all nonchalant and ignorant about the whole thing doesn't help.
"Oh, yeah, not one of my finest moments. But I'm back now." They continue to stare at you in disbelief.
At that second you suddenly realized why they were staring at you. "Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. I can regenerate and heal and all that fun stuff." You say with a smile, you were just brutalized and ripped to shred yet you acted like it was another Tuesday.
Kuai and Tomas just stared at you in disbelief. They couldn't find the right words, what could they say? This whole thing was just bizarre.
Bi-Han is the first to finally react. He drops his victim and anger approaches you, his fists clenched tighter.
He stares you down with fire blazing in his eyes. Then, he wraps his arms around you and holds you close, much to everyone's surprise.
"Bi-Han, I-" you try to say, him hugging you making you realize the gravity of the situation. "Do that to me again and I'll rip your head off myself." He says, yet you sense the relief in his voice.
At the sight of Bi-Han embracing you, Kuai and Tomas stop being upset, and remember how happy they are that you're alive. "These powers you have, they are...strange to say the least...but you are alive and that is all I care about." He gives you a smile
Tomas smiles at you as he wipes the tears from his eyes. "Um, Y/n...I might have some of you on my shoes."
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robobarbie · 3 months ago
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I need......xyx.......crumbs .. . PLEASE
here's smth I wrote for the bp server a couple years back (jesus) when I played a game of Saw with them (they were great sports about it)
When Xyx drove you out for a 'romantic weekend getaway', you knew there would be some sort of twist– there always was– but as you peer at the massive cliff looming overhead, you start to wonder if you'd live to see the romance part of the trip.
"Having second thoughts?" Xyx pops up from the pile of equipment in the back of the car behind you, flashing you a razor grin. "Too late to back out now. I've got the car keys."
"Ha ha…Me, chicken? Never."
You had hoped that engaging in his banter would keep him satisfied, but your anxiety is too transparent to make the lie stick. Xyx frowns and sets down the equipment. "Hey, love. If you're unsure, we can always do something else. I won't be offended."
"No, no! I'm just– having some jitters."
His eyes search yours for a moment, and the silence hangs heavily between you, until Xyx finally sighs and leans forward to kiss your forehead.
"Alright, if you insist. Let's get you suited up, then." He gives one of the harnesses an appraising look before handing it to you. "Step into the loops and pull them up. We'll tighten everything once you've got it on."
You stare at the pile of straps and loops, turning it over in your hands to puzzle out where your legs go; in turn, Xyx sees your predicament and bursts into laughter.
"Aw, doll, I didn't mean to stump you. Might have to start, though," he smirks. "You're adorable when you make that face."
You huff as he takes the harness from your hands, obediently stepping in with his guidance despite your scowl. "Adorable?!" 
"Well…" You watch his hands shift the loops around your thighs, and gasp when they linger and squeeze. "Actually, for this particular moment, I don't think I would use that word."
"Y-you sure you still want to go rock climbing?"
"Mm. Yes. But I think we may have to change our plans afterward." He gives the harness–and your thighs– one more squeeze. "Be a doll and stay still for just one more minute, would you? I have to tie you in." 
Xyx turns back to the equipment, retrieving a length of climbing rope that he gathers loosely in his hands. His face moves tauntingly close to yours as he reaches for your waist, loops the rope, and sets to tying a complex knot with ease; you can count the freckles on his face at this distance, and start doing so in order to keep your focus from slipping. Instead, it's reminding you of how easily you could kiss him right now, how if you tipped forward just enough–
He gives the knot a final, decisive tug, savoring your reaction as you're jolted back to reality (and pulled closer by the hips). "Now, just one more thing."
"Huh?" 
Closing the distance you had just been mourning, Xyx leads you in by the jaw and meets your lips in a slow, deep, kiss. You instinctively tilt your head; he replies with a pleased hum that rumbles through your head and down your spine. His hand caresses your cheek when it finally, reluctantly withdraws along with his face.
"For luck," he breathes.
You can scarcely breathe yourself, but with Xyx so close to you, looking at you so playfully and yet so helplessly in love, you imagine that the luck he's given you could take you anywhere.
“Now,” he says, taking your hand in his, “let’s go exploring.”
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