#i think i will be fine but i am having medical issues and am nervous...

[thedorfmirrin]

Pixel art of my double bana perma bby, Fallinea

[itsallpoliticsstupid]

It looks like Misha got quite a bit of hate for him saying Biden needs to step down. Thing is I don't disagree with him, but I do sort of disagree with the methods that are being used by celebrities as it looks like people bullying an old man into resigning his position. (N.B. I know I've said he needs to resign several times, but I have like 6 followers *hi there*, and I don't think anybody really pays too much attention to my little blog. Compared to Misha's 2.7m followers, which gets way more traction)

That said, I wanted to give a bit of a perspective of what I am currently seeing with BIden because it is extremely distressing. Not from a Political point of view, but from a personal point of view. And I also hope it will help to defend Misha in doing this. Because there is nothing in that tweet I disagree with, even if I don't like how it's being done.

I have a very minor medical condition that is easily treatable through injections. But, whilst it is minor, there are very major implications of not getting it treated. One such implication is a collapse of my nervous system and an altering of my brain. I'm only in my 30s, but my brain is essentially in early stages of dementia and I have, if I'm lucky, around 15 good years left.

When I first started experiencing symptoms. I ignored them. I had just started a new job and I was determined that my illness wouldn't impact it. I started to feel tired all the time, I had limited energy and slept basically all the time. However, I put it down to the 5 hour commute, and believed it would get better as time went on.

My symptoms escalated, including issues with my mental health and short term memory loss. I forgot really simple things, like what a spoon was and what I had done literally minutes earlier. It was bad. I also had physical problems, such as a failing eyesight, shaking, muscle weaknesses and imbalances. Still, I persisted in telling everybody I was fine.

Spoiler alert. I wasn't.

I was receiving hospital tests for another illness unrelated to the brain issues, and it was here I received a blood test to see whether my B12 and MMA levels were okay. And they weren't. I had been suffering pernicious anemia and that was the cause of my neurological problems was that. I received a booster of B12 injections, and I'm on it for the rest of my life. Unfortunately due to the length of time without B12, I will never fully recover from my neurological issues, but it's manageable.

My point in all this is, Joe Biden needs to be encouraged to step down by those around him. Because what I experienced I am seeing happen to him. A man who is struggling neurologically, but is physically incapable of accepting it. And it's unfair on him to continue in this way.

I'm concerned that more hadn't been done earlier to step in and help him. But, hopefully, there will be change coming.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Loving the progression of these stories so much!

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

Thank you!

30 for 🔼:

---

“Getting close now, huh?” Buck says.

Eddie looks at him. His tone is light, but there’s something in his expression. Something that worries Eddie.

“Yeah,” Eddie answers. “Under three months.”

Buck smiles tightly. “That’s… That’s great. I’m glad she and Shannon are doing well.”

But Eddie is desperate to know what else is on his mind. 

🔼

It takes a while for Eddie to get Chris all set up with snacks and a movie and make the requisite time and space for him and Buck to talk. Buck spends the whole time waiting feeling like he’s taken some heavy medications. Like he might just drop at any moment. The comedown from the high of Eddie kissing him - the realization of all the factors at play? It’s heavy. 

When Chris is finally content in front of the TV, Eddie grabs Buck by the wrist and pulls him down the hallway, towards his bedroom. 

“Uh, Eddie…” Buck cautions.

Eddie looks at him, eyes wide and nervous. 

“Just to talk,” he says, dropping Buck’s hand like Buck’s skin has burnt him. “Just somewhere private to talk.”

“Okay,” Buck says. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Eddie asks.

“I don’t know, I… You’re right. Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry!”

---

30 for⚡️

---

“What? Uh, then what is?” Buck asks. 

“Okay, yeah,” Eddie says. “We don’t have as much control when it comes to adopting from Lourdes, if that’s what we choose. But… We won’t ever have full control over any of it. We can’t ensure it goes perfectly and we can’t ensure we won’t get hurt.”

Buck just looks at him, a little horrified. 

Eddie sighs. “The embryo transfer process could fail, or Kameron could miscarry, or… Or there could be a whole host of other terrifying issues. That’s the hardest part of being a parent, right? You can’t guarantee nothing bad will ever happen.”

Buck exhales. “I know.”

“I think that really got to Shannon,” Eddie says. “She had a completely normal pregnancy, and then we could’ve easily lost Chris during the delivery. And it had a permanent impact.”

“So what are you saying?” Buck asks. 

“I’m saying we’re risking being hurt either way,” Eddie replies. “Even if things seem under our control. And even after we get our baby, every day, for the rest of our lives, we’re going to worry about them, and their hurt will hurt us, and… And you know this already, because you’re already a parent, Buck. You just haven’t experienced this really fragile part yet.”

Buck wipes at one eye. “You’re right.”

“But that doesn’t mean you have to do this, if the risk of her taking the baby is too… Anxiety provoking.”

---

30 for 🧟

---

“He’s completely fine. He’s playing with my son.”

Both parents heave a sigh of relief. 

“I’ll go get him,” Hen says, before walking off in another direction. 

“There was an SOS-worthy situation when we sent that transmission,” Bobby explains to Eddie.. “We did need you to come back. To bring Buck back.”

“What happened?” Buck asks. “Is Maddie-”

“Evan!” Maddie hurries towards him. “I’m fine.”

Buck hugs her tight. “Thank god.”

“So what happened?” Eddie asks again. 

“Men showed up with assault rifles,” Athena explained. “Said they were part of a new world order and were coming to recruit the kids.”

“Figures,” the petite redhead scoffs. 

“Recruit the kids?” Eddie’s wife asks. “Like… As soldiers?” 

“That’s what we think,” Bobby says.

“Wh-what did you guys do?” Buck asks. 

“Killed ‘em,” Chim answers. “Once again proving I am the group’s best shot.” 

“You were the only one shooting,” Bobby says.

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Outrun the Future - G.Cleven Ch 7

A/N: Hoping to get more chapters out this winter break! Thank you for reading!

Word count: 2k

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 8

When the guys returned, they were greeted by Marley Egan lounging casually in the jeep. It was a refreshing change to see the younger Egan waiting on the runway, and many of the guys felt a comforting sense of normalcy in her presence.

As the two Majors approached, smiles spread across their faces at the sight of the young pilot, alive and well. Bucky couldn't help but tease, “Why is it that I’m a nervous wreck waiting for you, while you’re here like we just popped out to the store?”

Marley shrugged with a playful grin. “I’m not as big of a baby as you are.”

John gave her a gentle nudge, chuckling. “Whatever, Marley.”

Once they climbed into the jeep, Marley remarked on how tan they looked. “Being stranded in the desert will do that to you,” Bucky replied with a smirk. She started the engine and steered them toward interrogation.

“They didn’t throw you a big welcome party?” Marley mused. “I figured it’d be a huge deal to have American pilots on their soil.” Her question was valid—flying the path they took was risky and unprecedented, especially since nothing had gone according to plan.

“Let’s just say the plan sounded better before we took off,” the blonde replied, glancing at Marley as she drove, trying to gauge if something was off. The only visible change was her hair, which was down, cascading around her shoulders. He knew the group would’ve had to go on at least one assignment while they were gone.

“What did the fighters do while we were gone?” John asked, echoing the curiosity that lingered in the air.

Marley bit her lip, knowing they’d find out soon enough. “We went on a small night flight with our RAF pals. Nothing major since then. They still haven’t sent replacements, which means no big flights for now.”

The two men exchanged glances, sensing she was holding back something. But with her cheerful demeanor and the fact that she was moving around fine, they didn’t think anything too bad could’ve happened.

Marley pulled up outside of the building and stopped the car. Both men got out, thanking her for the ride. Her brother walked right inside, but Gale paused. “You really weren’t worried about if we made it out or not?”

Marley smiled, “I bribed one of the navigators into knowing who made it to Africa.” Gale laughed and followed his friend into the building.

Marley made her way back to her plane, where Lemmons was busy addressing a few last-minute issues. “How’s she looking?” she asked, surveying the work.

Lemmons looked up with a grin. “Almost done. Should be ready by the time you’re cleared. Speaking of which, how did your brother take the news?”

Marley ran a hand through her hair, the weight of his concern evident. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell him.”

Lemmons shook his head, his expression serious. “He deserves to know you almost died.”

Marley rolled her eyes, brushing off the gravity of his words. “I didn’t almost die.”

He scoffed, crossing his arms. “You wouldn’t know—because you passed out in Sutton’s arms! It took two of us to carry you to medical. I even had to throw away that uniform; I couldn’t get your blood out of it.”

Marley’s expression softened, the reality of the situation hitting her. “Okay, maybe it was a bit more serious than I thought,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “But how am I supposed to tell him? ‘Hey while you were gone, I was shot at and almost didn’t live to tell you about it. Let’s go grab some lunch.’”

Lemmons shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know but he’s going to find out soon. I don’t think you realize how many people were involved that night.”

Just then, they turned to see a jeep rolling up. John and Gale stepped out, their eyes drawn to her plane.

“That’s a lot of new bullet holes,” John remarked, studying the damage. Gale’s gaze was fixed on Marley, and he noticed her telltale sign of nervousness as she twirled the ends of her hair.

“The night raid was a bit tougher than we expected,” Marley said, trying to downplay it. “A few scrapes here and there, but we landed okay.”

Lemmons shot her a disapproving look, haunted by memories of that night. He knew all too well that “okay” was a relative term.

Gale had concern etched across his face. "Are you injured?" John tore his gaze from the plane, his attention shifting to his sister. A heavy sigh escaped Marley’s lips; she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide the truth much longer. She opened her mouth to explain the situation, but before she could speak, someone sprinted up, urgently summoning the two Majors.

John shot Marley a look that promised she wouldn’t escape scrutiny just yet. Gale cast one last glance at her, reassuring himself she was okay, before climbing back into the jeep. As they drove off, Marley sighed in relief, knowing she had a little more time to dodge their questions. The thought of hiding for the rest of the day crossed her mind, but she dismissed it—she knew that wouldn’t end well.

“What else needs to be done before my plane is ready to fly again?” she asked Lemmons, who shook his head in exasperation but began detailing the repairs still in progress.

Marley stayed with him for about half an hour before heading back to the mess hall for lunch. On her way, she felt a wave of lightheadedness wash over her. She tried to push through, telling herself to keep moving, but soon the world around her began to darken.

Sparks rushed toward her as her pace faltered, concern written all over his face. "Hey, are you okay?" he called, but all she could hear was a loud ringing in her ears. He gently guided her to the ground, hoping that sitting would help, but as her face drained of color, he realized she needed medical attention.

***

A little while later, in one of the buildings, the higher-ups were concluding a meeting. The two Majors emerged to find Captain Sutton waving them down. “Has Marley told you what happened earlier this week?”

Both men shook their heads. Sutton’s tone was calm but firm. “Don’t panic—she’s currently in medical after passing out a few minutes ago. It’s a consequence of not following orders.”

John’s heart dropped. “What the hell happened?”

Gale noticed the relaxed demeanor of the captain; it reassured him that Marley wasn’t in imminent danger. They climbed into the jeep as Sutton began to explain.

“She was shot at during our night flight. The incredible part? She flew like nothing was wrong. It wasn’t until I pointed out the blood that she realized she’d been hit—a bullet grazed her head, enough to cause significant bleeding. At one point, it was touch and go, but she pulled through with a few stitches and a concussion. The docs grounded her for a week and told her to take it easy. Clearly, she didn’t take that last part to heart and pushed herself too hard today.”

The gravity of the situation settled heavily on the two Majors as they absorbed the news.

Marley woke up to Betty sitting next to her, shaking her head. “When we said don’t push yourself, this is not what we meant.”

The pilot looked around and realized where she was. “Oh god. Tell me John doesn’t know.”

Yelling outside the building could be heard and Marley knew her brother was pissed. “Go easy on him. His baby sister is in a hospital bed nursing a concussion he didn’t know she had.” She knew Betty was right but facing him still wasn’t something she wanted to do.

Her brother was let in and he made a bee line for her bed. “What in the actual fuck, Marlene? You were shot and didn’t think to tell me?” Marley looked down, trying to avoid his pissed off glare.

“This is the time you say something!” he yelled. Betty stepped forward, pointing a finger at John.

“I understand how worried you must be, trust me I do. But there will be zero yelling in here as there are other patients trying to heal. Your sister being one of them.” With one last glare, she walked away giving the two siblings privacy.

John looked down at her, shaking his head. “Talk to me, kid. For once, I need you to tell me the whole truth.” He settled onto the edge of her bed, concern etched across his face.

“To be honest,” Marley admitted, fiddling with the edge of her blanket, “I don’t remember everything.” She glanced around the room, searching for the right words. “Unless you want to explain this to Gale, I suggest you go grab him.”

Her brother sighed, understanding the urgency, and stood to fetch his friend—the one pilot who had somehow managed to worm his way into her heart.

When John returned, he settled back onto the bed while Gale leaned against the wall behind him, arms crossed and expression serious.

“The flight sucked. Night assignments aren’t about precision at all but trying to do the most destruction. You can’t see anything until it’s too late which is why my plane was sprayed with bullets.” She paused trying to recall the events. “I don’t remember being hit. I didn’t know anything was wrong until Sparky and Lemmons rushed towards me. After that everything is a blur. I was told I had lost too much blood at one point but managed to make it through the night. Lemmons and Sparkes made sure at least one of them was there with me until they released me.”

Both men were silent, processing the entirety of the situation. Gale looked up at her head and realized why her hair was down. Neither of them had noticed the clean row of stiches. It was another scar to add to the collection.

John ran a hand through his hair, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t lose you, Marley. I can’t fucking lose you.” Marley leaned back, closing her eyes as she absorbed his words. She knew how fragile he was—how completely unhinged he would become if anything happened to her. That knowledge was part of why she kept the truth from him. If he believed she was okay, he’d rest easier at night.

Betty walked back over to the group, “Unfortunately, you are sleeping here tonight seeing that you can’t follow simple instructions. The cot next to you will be free tonight.” And walked away.

“I can stay. Make sure your ass actually stays in bed.” John took his shoes off and hopped in the bed next to hers. Marley shook her head, avoiding a glance at her brother.

Gale looked at the two of them and smiled a bit. “I’m going to head out and grab some food for you both. Try not to kill each other while I’m gone.” Bucky waved a hand at him, making Gale chuckle. Marley opened her eyes in time to see Buck wink at her, making her cheeks flush.

Once Gale had left, Marley heard the bed creak next to her, signaling her brother had moved some. “Promise me something, Mar.”

She rolled onto her side, silently encouraging him to continue.

“If things get rough out there, promise me you’ll fight like hell to get back here. I know the risks we take are real, and I can’t pretend they won’t catch up to us. Just… don’t ever give up.”

A single tear slipped down Marley’s cheek, a stark reminder of the close call she’d faced just days before. She met his gaze, her resolve steady. “Only if you do the same.”

A/N: Thank you o much for reading!!

Tag List: probabydeadbynow, affabletimelady, gilli-vanilli, bellesdreamyprofile

[frankiensteinsmonster]

Okay I see this is an issue for people besides myself and I guess we're all too nervous to ask the question so we just say the thing and ask for forgiveness if we're wrong and if we are wrong for it, and for Y'all who we're talking about, it probably fucking sucks to have no one just. Fucking ask. And have everyone nervously dance around the subject of Describing Your Body in a well meaning attempt to be sensitive

So I'm taking the plunge to aid in the education of and strengthen our relationship with eachother as a community

I understand where it stems from because I'm in the same boat, and putting it plainly, it's because we live in a shitty world that's given the word a negative connotation and has neglected to go out of its way to teach us jack shit about each other. Regardless of what the most popular answer is, I think this medical terminology deserves to be seen as neutral instead of negative.

Note: I am. Just a person. Please be courteous to the fact that I live a life outside of the internet and am impacted by the things people say to me, even online.

and also keep in mind that I literally do not want to hear from you if you are not a part of this demographic. These people are sorely underrepresented and it is their turn to speak about themselves.

[cryoculus]

— guard dog 13 ⟢

pairing: thoma x assassin!reader

summary: paying the blood price for your sins is something you once thought of as futile. but as long as you're with the kamisato clan, you're certain that you'll be able to afford the world's forgiveness someday.

word count: 9.8k words

notable characters: thoma, kamisato ayaka, kamisato ayato, sayu, kujou sara

tags: found family, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut

warnings: graphic sexual content (minors dni), semi-public sex

notes: this is the end of it! thank you so much for following this series so patiently! i hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as i enjoyed writing it ^^

header art cr: cuppydraws on twt

masterlist

Fortunately, no one had been suffering severe conditions when you and Thoma finally arrived back home. The worst symptom that manifested across the people in the estate was Ayato’s prior show of coughing up blood in front of you the other day. Now, everyone was relatively fine. Nervous for the fate of the Yashiro Commission, but otherwise fine.

You were quick to round up Hina’s help to administer the available doses of the cure to those that needed it first—Ayaka and Ayato, the elderly retainers, and those with existing medical conditions. The other attendants volunteered to brew the next batch of Sango broth following Doctor Naoko’s instructions in his journal and Thoma gladly busied himself by helping out as well—speeding up the boiling process with his Vision and all.

Contrary to your prior assumptions, your abysmal supply of pearls was surprisingly enough to cover all the retainers and attendants in the estate, along with your esteemed visitors. 

Given that he was unconscious for the majority of the day, you had to administer Kujou Masahito’s dose intravenously. It’s a good thing Hina had some sterile syringes stashed away in the estate’s first aid kit. When he finally came to, Sara, who was still stuck here as well, gave him a thorough questioning. 

However, instead of the merciless man who’d issued your orders to kill Ayaka, you were met with a soldier blinking up at his current audience in confusion.

Turns out, the man was merely another pawn in this convoluted war of ideals. Their father, Kujou Takayuki was the sole mastermind behind the Tatarigami experiments. Masahito explained, in great detail, that their father had been playing his cards quite suspiciously over the past few months. 

“I suspected he was onto something, but he wouldn’t tell me what,” he sighed. “I didn’t know why he wanted us to build a base on Yashiori Island, and I was in no place to refuse. The next thing I knew, I felt like I was in a dream all this time. I was awake, but my decisions weren’t my own. I suppose it’s the same for all the men he’d forced me to bring.”

Ayato gaped at him. “So you’re telling me that the guys who attacked us the other day walked from Yashiori to here?”

“I’m sorry, Lord Ayato. My memory is still quite fuzzy, but that might be the case.”

Huh. That explained why your back-up from burning the tengu feather took so long. Once that was made clear, you decided to come clean to Kujou Sara about the contingency plan Masahito presented to you when he was being mind-controlled.

“No wonder I felt a bit off-kilter that day,” she sighed, massaging her temples. “It’s alright. Once we’re all cleared of the infection, Lord Ayato and I will raise this issue directly to the Raiden Shogun herself. Our father’s actions are putting the people in peril.”

“...Did you just say you’re going to work with us on this?” the Yashiro Commissioner asked incredulously. 

“I’m not as disagreeable as you think I am,” Sara huffed. “I’ve had my own...reservations about our father’s methods when it comes to war tactics. But this is something that would be a crime to overlook. It’s our word against his.”

To her brother’s side, Ayaka spoke out. “Is it safe to assume that Kujou Takayuki has been colluding with the Kanjou Commission? I think part of the reason they refuse to have the Vision Hunt repealed is because they’re profiting off this war more than we thought…”

Masahito nodded somberly. “It’s true that father has been quite…taken with the wealth he’s made from the war effort. That’s why no matter how many times the Yashiro Commission attempts to raise the concern to Her Excellency, they’re quick to shoot down your attempts despite being the commission closest to the Raiden Shogun.”

“So they’ve been taking advantage of it this whole time…” Sara muttered.

…God. This was way too much information for you to take. Why were you even part of this audience in the first place? You were just one of the many casualties that got caught up in a noble’s greedy endeavors. 

Thankfully, it was sorted out faster than you’d anticipated. 

You were back to checking up on every member of the house with Hina in no time. Despite having little medical experience of your own, everyone was surprisingly cooperative when you checked their vitals and asked how each one was faring. But you didn’t have the time to appreciate the fact that everything had seemingly returned to normal with how your fellow retainers treated you because of the amount of patients you had to monitor. 

In the process, you got to speak to the retainers more than usual. Especially Hina, since the estate’s resident healer was pretty much your partner-in-crime for this entire operation. She was kind and patient enough to manage everyone’s medical reports alongside you. And she even filled you in on some random bits of trivia for every person you treated.

“Hirano used to be a player from an underground fighting ring,” Hina whispered. “He doesn’t know who his parents are, and the Commissioner suspected he was a victim of child trafficking.”

“That’s awful,” you told her, face scrunching up. “...You told me back then not everyone is as noble as they seemed.”

She nodded. “Yup. Ayame was a notorious pickpocket at Ritou Harbor. Old man Yuuji used to be a slave trader. There’s lots more that everyone in here got in trouble for in their dark days, but Lady Ayaka and the Commissioner gave them a second chance at life. Now here we are.”

You nodded solemnly, a smile finding its way to your lips. “What about you? What did you do for a living before coming here?”

Hina hesitated for a moment but eventually laughed. “I used to manufacture dangerous drugs and poisons for the underground. You know that powdered crystal marrow you used on Ayame? My old master was the one who came up with the formula for it.”

“What?! Huh, small world.”

“By the way, the Commissioner told me that a doctor that’s familiar with the effects of the Tatarigami will arrive in a day or two,” Hina told you once the two of you finally caught a break by the gardens. “He’ll be a great help, I’m sure. And we’ll get to treat the soldiers that have been infected, too.”

You nodded in understanding as you leaned against the fences overlooking the ocean, sighing. “Do you have any news about those guys? Last I heard, Lord Ayato had them shipped off to some containment facility underneath Inazuma City.”

She hummed. “While you and Master Thoma were away, the Commissioner has been sending messenger crows all over the country almost tirelessly. He’s been laying the groundwork all this time. If Lady Ayaka hadn’t scolded him for overworking himself despite the fact that he’s more susceptible to the curse than most, he might still be at it until now.”

“That’s Lord Ayato for you…”

The next day, when the doctor that Ayato had rang up had arrived, you were the first to brief him about the situation—the state of the estate’s denizens, the timeframe of the curse’s onset, and the experimental cure you’ve administered. 

“I’m no professional, so I’m not sure if it’s safe for them to go out like usual even if they seem relatively okay now.” You sighed, scratching the back of your head awkwardly. “That’s why I was wondering if you knew any better way to—”

“Tell me…do you know someone called Suzuki Naoko?” he interrupted, looking up from the journal containing Doctor Naoko’s research notes. 

You blinked in surprise. “Y-Yes. That notebook belongs to him. The cure we made was also based on his findings when he stayed in Yashiori Island.”

He laughed softly, nodding in earnest. “I see. He and I used to be colleagues at the Sumeru Academia. We both chose the so-called Tatarigami curse as our respective thesis topics, but we’ve had conflicting ideas as to how it can be cured. I think it’s obvious which one of us turned out to be right after all.”

Your jaw nearly dropped. You knew Doctor Naoko was a bit too intelligent for your everyday medical professional, but to think he went to Sumeru Academia, of all places? 

The doctor that Ayato had invited eventually introduced himself as Haruno Shinya, and once Doctor Shinya was done with his own routine check-up of everyone in the estate, he gave you the green light to produce more of that Sango broth you cooked up with Doctor Naoko’s recipe.

“It’s a bit odd, though,” he said. “One of the reasons I was against using Sango pearls as a Tatarigami combatant is because of how long it takes for it to work. The pearl itself has special properties, yes. But you have to wield a certain flame to truly access its full potency. Boiling it over regular flames isn't enough.”

The gears slowly clicked into place as you processed his words. 

It took months for you to get over the illness because Doctor Naoko had only experimented with ordinary fire when he boiled the pearls. But now, with the use of Thoma’s fervent Pyro Vision, the effect was near instantaneous. 

“To think Naoko died trying to save people with his hypothetical cure. What a hero,” Doctor Shinya chuckled, adding a couple of annotations of his own to Doctor Naoko’s notes. “I’ve been observing Tatarigami patients for a chunk of my career, and I’m positive that everyone in this estate is cured. But you mentioned another set of patients in the capital…?”

“Yes. The Commissioner gave strict orders to his men to keep the soldiers isolated from everyone else. But we haven’t been able to procure more Sango pearls to manufacture enough doses to cover them…” 

He nodded as he shut Doctor Naoko’s journal, handing it back to you as he patted your shoulder. “You’ve done plenty already, kid. You’re the one who’s been spearheading this whole operation, aren’t you?”

“I… Yeah. I guess you can say that.”

“I expect no less from Naoko’s apprentice,” Doctor Shinya praised. “Leave the patients at the capital to me. I’m actually a native of Watatsumi myself, so I’ll be able to get my hands on all the pearls you’re going to need. However, I have one last question.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Did you do anything special with the experimental procedure?” he asked, one brow raised. “Sango broth isn’t supposed to be this potent, but here we are, with dozens of recovered patients in no less than a few days.”

While Doctor Shinya elaborated on his inquiry, your eyes managed to catch Thoma across the courtyard, speaking animatedly to one of the elderly retainers. Your heart warmed. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to him. Your hands have been tied with fussing over the patients that you hadn’t exactly found the time to approach him again. Then, your gaze slowly roved over to the red orb gleaming at his side.

“Yeah,” you replied—a knowing smile spreading on your face. “All you need is a bunch of Sango pearls and…someone with a Pyro Vision.” 

The following days in the estate have mellowed down as everyone quickly recovered. Migraines were gone, spontaneous bleeding episodes resolved, and you’re elated to find out that only a few retainers had suffered the onset of nightmares. They've begun sleeping more peacefully these days, too.

However, the situation of the power balance in the Tri-Commission only got more and more hectic thereafter. 

While you were busy taking care of the patients with Hina, Ayaka and Ayato, together with the Kujou siblings, testified against the Kanjou and Tenryou Commissions’ blatant mismanagement of the war. They were going to try and repeal the Vision Hunt Decree with Kujou Sara’s support as agreed upon as well. Because of this, neither of the two Kamisato heads had been home for nearly two weeks, and the only way you could keep tabs on what was happening was through Thoma himself.

The chief retainer was granted the privilege to attend briefings with the Raiden Shogun but wasn’t required to remain at the Tenshukaku for longer than necessary. It was for that reason that everyday, Thoma went back to the estate to report the situation to everyone before returning to the capital before morning.

You didn’t even have the time for a quick chat with him either. Whenever Thoma was in the estate, he’d update all of you about the state of affairs in the pavilion before promptly passing out in his bedroom. Not a single soul dared to disturb him from those few hours of rest.

It was really kind of him to go through all the trouble, you thought. Everyone in the Yashiro Commission didn’t seem to make too much of a fuss about the whole fiasco. But you guessed it was because of Thoma’s constant reassurance that both retainers and attendants managed to fall back into their old routines without hesitation. 

Today was the last day of routine check-ups that Doctor Shinya had advised you to conduct, and you’re glad to know that everyone was pretty much in the clear now. But as the people around you continued going about with life as usual, you found yourself gaining more free time than you knew what to do with.

Technically, you’re no longer a retainer of the Kamisato house, and neither Ayaka nor the Commissioner officially invited you back into their ranks. But with how much they’ve got on their plates, it was normal for you to be a sitting duck now that everyone in the estate was cured. 

Being completely aware of that did nothing to quell the agitation, though.

You couldn’t bring yourself to seek some semblance of comfort from Thoma either. You knew he was just as busy as the Kamisato siblings. But another reason why you’re a bit hesitant to approach him alone was because…you’re unsure of what you actually were to the guy.

After that eventful trip to Yashiori Island, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think about the way he’d kissed you that day. Of course, you’d snap out of it once you caught yourself daydreaming, but…

What else were you supposed to think about?

Despite having complete freedom to do whatever you wanted, you weren’t the type to go around kissing other people for the hell of it. You could barely stand the idea of receiving affection until recently. So when the man who claimed the rights to your first kiss suddenly became too busy to sit down with you and talk about it properly, you supposed you’re entitled to some degree of senseless overthinking.

One day, Hina came up to you at lunch. 

“Doctor Shinya reached out to Madarame this morning,” she told you. “He said he wants you to meet him at the capital.”

For some odd reason, the news filled you with an inexplicable sense of relief. Given that this was the last day your semi-nonexistent medical expertise was needed, you feared that you'd be the only one not doing anything around the estate. And since your status as a retainer was still in question, Madarame decided not to issue any housework for you to do. 

“You’ve done plenty for us, Miss Kira. You deserve to rest, too,” he said. You wanted to tell him that keeping your hands busy also kept thoughts of Thoma far away, but you didn’t exactly know how to break it to him at the time.

Now though, you’ve found a much-needed distraction.

“Miss Kira.”

You’re in the middle of a conversation with Hirano, who offered you a ride to the capital on his horse, when Ayame approached you in the courtyard. She met your gaze with a hint of hesitation, like she was embarrassed. But you didn’t let yourself scrutinize her more than you should. 

“Miss Ayame,” you greeted in return. “Is anything the matter?”

Ayame opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and sighed. “I… Can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Sure,” you agreed with a smile, turning to Hirano. “I’ll meet you outside after. Thanks again.”

The guard nodded earnestly. “Anytime! This is the least I can do for you, after all.”

Huh? The least he could do…? But weren’t you the one who’s indebted to them for trying to kill one of their leaders? Alas, you couldn’t spare it another thought when you followed Ayame to a less crowded corner in the gardens. She was awfully quick to get to the point.

“I was wrong about you.”

You watched in silence as Ayame traced idle shapes in the sand with the rake in her grasp. “What do you mean?”

“I thought you were going to take advantage of milady’s trust,” she murmured. “For a while, I even blamed you for the Tenryou Commission’s attack on the estate, too.”

A soft breeze wafted through the courtyard, making you sigh. “You’re completely right about that. It was because of me that the mansion got sacked by those soldiers.”

“But you didn’t leave us for dead,” Ayame argued, turning to face you with an insistent look. “You even went to that…that cursed island just to give us a cure you made yourself. Us, the same people who tried to shun you out of the estate.”

You waved a hand dismissively. “I’m only trying to undo the damage I’ve done. That doesn’t make me any less of the cold-blooded killer you know I am.”

“Real cold-blooded killers won’t try to ‘undo the damage they’ve done’, though.”

Her response was almost petrifying in how sincere it came forth. You stared at Ayame with equal parts confusion and disbelief as you knit your brows together. 

“Miss Ayame… What are you trying to say?”

She huffed. “Well, it’s obvious that Lady Ayaka’s kindness has gotten through so there’s no point in antagonizing you. That’s why, I… I wanted to apologize. For the way I acted around you these past few weeks.”

One second passed, then two, before you ended up burying your face in your hands.

“Miss Kira?” Ayame asked, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

Archons. She was so sincere with her apology, and you had the gall to overlook the one thing that made her so hostile with you in the first place.

Slowly, your hands dropped to your sides as you shot her a somber look.

“I still haven’t apologized for drugging you that night.”

Ayame’s lips parted with confusion before she slipped back that mask of hostility that’s grown so familiar to you now. “It took you this long to realize that?! Gods, I knew I shouldn’t have apologized first!”

“Miss Kira!” You suddenly heard Hirano shout from the entrance. “Your ride’s ready! Let me know when we’re leaving!”

Not wanting to receive the brunt of Ayame’s wrath, you ended your exchange with a quick bow. “Apology accepted, Miss Ayame! But I have another pressing matter to attend to, so let’s save the teary make-up embrace for later, yeah?” 

“You sneaky little—!”

Without waiting for her to finish, you bolted towards the doorway.

“What?” You scowled. “You sent them all home?”

Doctor Shinya chuckled from where he’s seated beside you at Shimura’s—one of Inazuma City’s up-and-coming outdoor restaurants. When you and Hirano arrived at the entrance to the capital, the doctor was already there, waiting for you. Doctor Shinya even offered to treat you to a late lunch despite the fact that you’ve already eaten. 

And now he was telling you about how he’d discharged the Tenryou soldiers to their respective homes today.

“It was just as you’ve said, performing the procedure with the aid of a Pyro Vision increased the broth’s potency tenfold!” Doctor Shinya gushed with a mouthful of tempura. “It was a good thing Mister Naganohara’s daughter was more than willing to cooperate. Oh, and that boy from the Kamisato clan also dropped by from time to time as well. What was his name again? Thoma?” 

You were surprised to find out that Doctor Shinya asked for Yoimiya’s help in the matter, but you supposed he couldn’t just ignore that pro-tip you gave him beforehand. But finding out about these detours that Thoma made on top of everything else he was dealing with made you shake your head. He was just the same as the Kamisato siblings—putting their duties first before anything else. 

“I’m glad to know the soldiers have all recovered then,” you sighed, sipping the tea you’d ordered. “But what are we going to do with the Tenryou Commission? Didn’t you get any backlash for just ordering those guys to go home or something?”

“Oh? You haven’t heard?” Doctor Shinya blinked, setting down his bowl and chopsticks. “Apparently, the Raiden Shogun has made a definitive ruling for the case filed against the heads of the Tenryou and Kanjou Commissions. They were stripped of their titles this morning, and Kujou Sara was elected as the new head of the Kujou clan. She’s the one who insisted they get some much-needed rest.”

Well. This was definitely news to you.

“I-I see…” you replied dryly. “Um, wait. So what’s going to happen now? Is the war over? Are they putting a stop to the Vision Hunt Decree?”

“The answer to all of that is...yes. Lord Ayato is actually overseeing the return of the confiscated Visions as we speak.” Doctor Shinya smiled, gesturing a set distance away from behind him.You squinted your eyes as you tried to follow his lead until you finally saw it. 

Right where the statue of the Electro Archon stood, you saw a flank of scaffolding set-up in front of the stone visage of the Raiden Shogun. It was hard to tell because you were too far away, but you were pretty sure that the men engrossed with it were taking out the colorful orbs once embedded within. Suddenly, you remembered something Thoma said in passing during that one festival on Amakane Island.

Gods, I wish those two would catch a break soon.

You couldn’t even suppress the grin that made it on your face—not minding that Doctor Shinya could see you smiling like an idiot. 

They did it. Ayaka and Ayato managed to turn the tides of the war after all.

“Well, that said,” Doctor Shinya spoke again, interrupting your thoughts. “I only called you out here to update you about what’s happening. These past two weeks haven’t been easy on any of us, after all.”

You nodded with a dreary laugh. “I never thought I’d be taking care of so many people after I…”

For a second, you panicked. Right. You hadn’t told Doctor Shinya about the years you spent as an underground assassin. And it’s not like you could break it to him easily when he seemed to take your contributions with high regard. Great, now you were ashamed of your own tragic past. Was this what they called character development?

But from the way his eyes softened, something told you he already knew.

“So, Doctor Shinya…” You decided to shift the topic. “What are your plans after this?”

“I’ll actually be accompanying Lord Ayato for the reparation procedures,” he told you. “Her Excellency put him in charge of maintaining public relations with the people of Watatsumi Island, and he invited me in hopes of gaining their goodwill.”

“Oh, right. You said you were a native, right?”

Doctor Shinya nodded. “Yes. And…we’ll also be doing a thorough inspection on Yashiori Island. The Tatarigami typically takes years to fully set in the human body, but we suspected that Kujou Takayuki must have done something nefarious to get his hands on such a powerful manifestation of the curse.” 

You nodded. “Yeah. I’ve never heard of being able to mind-control others with it…” 

“Exactly,” the doctor agreed. “Which reminds me. Would you like to come along when we head to Yashiori for the routine inspections? Lord Ayato informed me that Her Excellency said something about a possibility of the wards being disturbed—causing the rampant spread of the Tatarigami.”

“...Wards?” 

He nodded once more. “When the Raiden Shogun slaid the Orobashi hundreds of years ago, the manifestation of its hatred came in the form of the Tatarigami. To keep it from spreading to the nearby islands, Her Excellency put up protective wards all over Yashiori. But…we can speak of it in more detail if you decide to accept my invitation. I’m sure Lord Ayato will be glad to have you on-board.”

Your shoulders slumped at the news. So it wasn’t over just yet after all, huh…

“You know, there’s an onsen somewhere down the road,” Doctor Naoko mentioned, jabbing a thumb behind his shoulder. “Now that I think about it, you look like you could use some rest.”

You shook your head almost too quickly. “Not at all! I’ve actually been feeling…antsy because I had nothing else to do. So please, do take me with you on your trip. I’ll be happy to show you around the island if need be.”

To your disappointment, it seemed like Doctor Shinya was not having it.

“You’ve worked hard enough, kid,” he chuckled, reaching out to ruffle your hair in that same, infuriating way Doctor Naoko used to do with you. “Now go treat yourself to an afternoon at the bathhouse. We aren’t leaving for another two weeks, so you better make use of the time to relax.”

You wanted to protest—to let him know that you weren’t the only one worked down to the bone by everything that’s happening. Ayaka and Ayato were using all their capabilities to restore peace and order. Doctor Shinya took care of an entire battalion of soldiers by himself. Kujou Sara was busy fixing everything her father had inevitably messed up, and…

Thoma. He was probably out there doing errands in-between for everyone else. Because that’s just who he is as a person—a housekeeper in every sense of the word, even if his duties went beyond the corners of the estate.

But in spite of it all, the buzzing need for a few moments of peace tickled the back of your head. You sighed, succumbing to your not-so subtle desire for a break. 

“So just how good is this bathhouse we’re talking about…?”

You stood in front of the doorway to the hot springs with a sigh.

The owner said the bathhouse was reserved for the day by none other than the Kamisato clan, and was about to turn you away. But, in a moment of desperation, you mentioned you were one of the clan’s retainers. 

“Hmm… Oh, here you are on the guestlist,” he remarked as he went through his clipboard. “My apologies, Miss Kira. I’ll be preparing your things in a while. Someone already went ahead of you, by the way!” 

And now here you are.

The glass on the sliding doorway had fogged over from the steam inside, so you couldn’t really see who you were going to share the hot spring with. And given that this was the mixed bath, there might be men from the estate inside. You weren’t really opposed to being in the company of the opposite sex but…from what you remembered, no one had really left the mansion today aside from yourself.

So who was the person lounging inside the onsen, then? 

It couldn’t be Ayato. He was preoccupied with retrieving Visions from the Shogun’s statue. And you couldn’t exactly picture Ayaka just waltzing into a public bath like this either.

“Only one way to find out, I guess…” you muttered.

The interior wasn’t as extravagant as you initially expected. Just a large, closed room with vents in the ceiling to let the steam billow outside. In the middle, the floor was seemingly paved to imitate a naturally occurring hot spring—decorated with ornamental rocks and fake moss. There was a section in the far end where you figured the showers were, if the bamboo shutters were anything to go by. 

You glanced over to the hot spring in the middle, squinting through the steam rising from the water. Just as you were told, someone else was already occupying the onsen, but their back was turned to you and they had a towel wrapped around their head and a smaller one draped across their face. It made the person’s identity quite hard to decipher through the steam. 

Knowing it’ll be futile to scrutinize from a distance, you decided to take off your robe, folding it by the shelf near the entrance, before finally taking a well-deserved dip. 

The stranger(?) didn’t even stir even when the water rippled all around you. You’d decided to occupy the same side of the hot spring out of curiosity, and when you could take a closer look, this person was, in fact, a man. 

Or they could be a flat-chested woman. Don’t be so quick to judge!

You shook your head, letting the heat of the water seep into your skin. The effect was near-instantaneous. You found yourself sinking lower into the bath as you pressed your back against the edge. A pleased sigh escaped your lips and you were mindful enough to wrap your hair in a towel to keep the strands from getting wet.

You stayed like that for a few minutes—happily letting the hot water work its magic on your fatigued body as you stared at the ceiling. But the more time passed, the more you found yourself growing concerned for the man just a few feet away. He hadn’t stirred since you got here, and you worried he might have passed out. 

And won’t putting a towel on your face in an onsen suffocate you or something?

Hesitantly, you weaved through the hot water with your arms crossed—conscious of the fact that your breasts were on full display. But the moment you reached out in an attempt to remove the towel from his face… 

You yelped loudly—the sound echoing throughout the room when you suddenly found yourself with your arms twisted behind you as the man forced your face against the wet rock. What the fuck? How did he—

“...Miss Kira?”

Oh my fucking Archons.

Of course it was Thoma who put you in an instant headlock. 

The two of you merely stared at each other in stunned silence. The towel on his face had dropped to the water and was drifting uselessly across the surface, and the one he’d tied around his head began to come loose as well—letting his long, damp hair cascade down his shoulders. 

His very naked shoulders, attached to a very naked body he used to press you down in one of the most compromising positions imaginable. Huh. This reminded you of the first night he cornered you in the Kamisato estate’s kitchen… 

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered sheepishly, making a show of turning around as if he was trying to give you some privacy. “I thought you were some asshole that’s trying to kill me or something.”

“I can see that,” you scoffed, sinking back into the water with your face redder than his uniform. “Glad to see you’re alive and didn’t die from steam suffocation, though.”

Once you were settled, Thoma decided to scooch a few feet away before lowering himself into the bath once again. 

You did not stare at his ass while his back was turned to you. You didn’t!!!!

“So…” you began, still feeling all sorts of awkward. “What brings you here?”

Thoma cleared his throat, and you watched the bob of his neck as he swallowed. “Um. I might’ve been complaining about wanting to go to the onsen for days now, and Lord Ayato made the proper arrangements just to shut me up.”

“And he honored your wishes just like that?” you snorted. “If I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve thought you were the princess of the house.”

The chief retainer shot you a narrow-eyed stare. “I could ask the same for you. Did you just happen to go into the same bathhouse as me at the same time I decided to as well?” 

“Maybe it’s fate,” you shrugged, recalling the same train of conversation occurring between the both of you in the past. But when you began to consider his question a bit more seriously…

You know, there’s an onsen somewhere down the road.

The bathhouse has been reserved by the Kamisato clan for the day, my apologies.

Lord Ayato made the proper arrangements just to shut me up.

You blinked. That shouldn’t be possible, right? This was all a coincidence. Surely Ayato and Doctor Shinya wouldn’t deliberately set the two of you up like this, right? 

“How are you?”

A jolt ran across your shoulders when Thoma spoke out of the blue again—his voice nearly echoing in the empty room. You stared at him incredulously before forcing yourself to peel your eyes away from the droplets of water that ran tantalizingly across his pectorals.

“I-I’m good,” you replied. “There isn’t much to do back at home anymore so I was just feeling a little antsy. Doctor Shinya told me to relax for a change.” For some reason, Thoma laughed the moment you finished speaking, and your eyes narrowed into slits.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just a bit…happy.”

“With what?”

“You called the estate home.”

“Oh.”

Man, you’ve gotten so soft, it’s embarrassing. 

“How about you?” you murmured in return. “You’ve been so busy, I could hardly talk to you.”

Thoma raised an eyebrow, mouth quirked into a lopsided smile. “Did you miss me?”

“So what if I did? Stupid guard dog…”

You startled again when the water rippled all around you once more. Thoma rose out of the bath just enough to make his way to you. And when he leaned down to meet your gaze head-on, you swallowed thickly—face burning hotter than the room itself. 

“I think I liked it better when you called me pretty boy.” He pouted. 

You groaned, pushing him away, but Thoma refused to budge. “That was one time.” 

“Once is enough to have me thinking about it for weeks.” The laugh that left his lips had a familiar sultriness to it that made your thighs clench. Thoma’s wet hand was on your face again, cupping your cheek as the other peeled away the towel in your hair. 

“I missed you, too,” he murmured, thumb gently teasing the swell of your lip. His green eyes looked so pretty up close. “So much that I had to hop into a bathhouse just to keep my mind off of it.”

You huffed. “Then why didn’t you just go back? Doctor Shinya said everything was already sorted out with the Shogun.”

“Well, yeah. But I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold back if I saw you again.”

“Huh?”

You barely had time to process it when Thoma captured your lips with his own—the hand not holding your face immediately resting on your hip. But you didn’t even have any fight left in you when you were so quick to melt into his kiss. You sighed, and Thoma used the opportunity to slither his tongue inside your mouth. 

He lifted you onto the edge of the bath, wet bodies sliding past each other as he slotted himself between your legs. Though his lower half was still submerged in the water, the feel of his toned stomach made you more flustered than it should. But Thoma wasn’t exactly giving you a lot of leeway to think. 

The chief retainer wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you fervently. You mewled into his mouth as your hands wandered to his hair. You tugged on the strands in a way you remembered he liked, and you couldn’t help the heat that stirred in your stomach at the sound he just made.

“Thoma,” you sighed when he pulled away, lips trailing a fiery path down the column of your neck. “Are we really going to do this? Here?”

For some reason, he tensed. Thoma peeled himself away slightly, eyeing the way you’re presented bare for him to see. You might have blanched and covered yourself if it had been anyone else, but… 

“Sorry,” he muttered again, leaning forward to rest your foreheads together as his hands gripped your thighs. “It’s just like I said. I can’t seem to restrain myself when it comes to you… But if you want me to behave, I’ll gladly do so.”

“...Like a dog?”

“You don’t have to put it like that!”

 For the first time in a while, you managed a lighthearted laugh, shifting your head a little so you could nuzzle the crook of his neck. You couldn’t find traces of Thoma’s scent given that the steam was making your head swim a little. But the reassuring heat of his body was enough to make you feel safe, in spite of his seemingly ravenous appetite for you. 

“I’ll let you do anything you want if you answer my question,” you told him, biting your lip. 

He craned his head. “What is it?”

“...How do you feel about me, exactly?”

You instinctively recoiled, fingers tightening around his arms as you braced yourself for an inevitable rejection. You didn’t really have an idea why you expected the worst right off the bat, but… Surely Thoma wouldn’t—

“How I feel about you?” he repeated, chest reverberating with each word. 

Thoma forcibly pulled you away from his torso, making you meet his beautiful emerald eyes. The smile he flashed you the next second was so real, you could cry.

“I like you. Can’t you tell?” 

Just like that, the disbelief came crashing down on you all over again. 

Did people really just admit their feelings like that? Straight to the point, without any hint of hesitation? You had no clues as to how potential couples went about the ‘confession’ stage, but…wasn’t Thoma being a bit too honest? You thought all the best romances started with some degree of denial and pining from both parties.

“I’m…not used to this kind of thing, okay?” you replied, suddenly feeling even more embarrassed. “If it’s normal for you to just admit to someone that you like them, then—”

“You’re the first person I’ve ever liked enough to confess to, though.”

You could have sworn that steam billowed not just from the water but also out of your ears. This was not real. No one could be this fucking honest with himself. You refused to believe it.

…But then again, Thoma had proved himself to be different from every other person you’ve ever met. He had the patience of a saint, a capacity for banter that could keep up with your own, and a deep-rooted understanding that not everyone could afford to spare for people like you.

Whenever you looked at him, he always reminded you of the sun with not a single cloud obscuring his intentions and you started to see why. 

(Overlooking the fact that he lied about Ayaka’s plans. You can forgive him for that. Kind of.) 

“I don’t deserve you,” you told him with a groan. “Why do you even like me?”

Something shifted in the hot air, and suddenly Thoma’s easygoing smile dropped. He spoke your real name like a prayer in the thick steam, and you could feel your head buzz from the whiplash of it all. When his mouth descended onto yours once again, he lacked the ferocity he’d exhibited in both times you’ve ever kissed him. Thoma merely pecked your lips with the softest of touches before pulling away to meet your eyes.

“You deserve me and more,” he murmured. “And I’ll give you all of that if you’re willing to have me.”

Your first instinct was to argue, but the heat between your legs has festered enough. Instead of debating about what you did and didn’t deserve, you closed your eyes and finally let yourself fall off the edge.

Thoma’s hands were inescapable when you finally gave him a little nudge—that final confirmation. He swallowed up all the sounds you made as he lifted himself out of the water, fingers already making quick work between the growing heat in your thighs. The evidence of your arousal was hard to hide—especially when he’s sliding those thick digits against your glistening seam so tantalizingly, you almost forgot you were in a public bath. 

“Thoma,” you mewled. “W-What if…someone comes in?”

You gasped when he eased one finger inside you, wrapping one arm around your waist as he watched your expressions with a sultry smile. “As much as I’d hate to share this view with someone else…” He leaned closer to your ear, and you instinctively clenched your walls around him. “Something tells me the idea of getting caught excites you.”

“Quit projecting! You’re such a weirdo.” The words were meant to hit like an insult, but you ended up moaning them instead as Thoma slipped in a second finger. “F-Fucking pervert…”

“Hmm? Would you like me to stop then?”

You mourned the loss of the friction when his hand became stock still inside you. A throaty groan scratched against your throat as you threw out a fist—hitting his lean chest in the process.

“...No.”

He chuckled, low and dangerous as he let you sink down to the hot spring—flipping you around so your ass was in full display. His fingers never left, though, and the moment he had you bent over the edge of the pool, Thoma resumed his sinful ministrations. 

You could barely contain your moans when he pressed his chest against your back, spreading your thighs wider as he fingered you loose. His tongue slithered across the shell of your ear, and he even nibbled on your lobe as he worked you between your legs. You sighed—completely embarrassed by how slick and easy the slide of his fingers had become.

But before you could make another sound, Thoma prodded your mouth with the fingers of his free hand. 

“If you don’t want to get caught,” he whispered huskily. “You need to be quiet.”

You would’ve been mortified by how easily you opened your mouth for him had it been any other scenario. But you were so unbelievably aroused by his voice, his heat, and the feel of his strong body caging you underneath his, that your otherwise snarky defenses had been tossed aside. You didn’t want anything else—didn’t need anything else.

All that mattered right now was Thoma.

It didn’t take long for you to notice his hard length rubbing against your ass while he made a mess with your mouth and cunt with his fingers. You couldn’t even fathom the dexterity his multitasking should have required, but you figured that when it came to doing several things at once, he was the man for the job. 

You moaned when he curled his fingers inside you, thighs quivering as he continued thrusting in and out. You couldn’t tell if the clouds of vapor emerging with each bated breath was from the steam or not, but when Thoma took his fingers out from both your mouth and cunt, you couldn’t help the whine that got caught in the back of your throat.

“So needy.” A soft chuckle resounded from behind you and your eyes widened when you felt him slide his cock against your slick folds. 

“T-Thoma…”

“Tell me you deserve me,” he murmured into your ear, pressing your thighs together as he rocked his length into the space between your legs. 

“What are you—”

“Tell me or I won’t fuck you the way you want me to.”

…Gods, he was so hot when he bossed you around. 

Each time his hips pressed forward, you could feel the head of his cock catching on your clit. You nearly sobbed, forcing your palms onto the slippery rocks as you desperately attempted to meet his thrusts. But Thoma wasn’t letting you get what you wanted so easily.

“I’m waiting.” 

Fuck it. Who needs dignity anyway?

“I deserve it,” you moaned. “I deserve you. I deserve your cock. I deserve to get rammed into the next life, just— please!”

Your vision nearly went dark when he finally pressed himself against your entrance—filling you to the brim with the heat of his length. The burn of his passage was conspicuous but bearable. Although, when he finally sheathed himself to the hilt, Thoma let out another infuriatingly sexy laugh as he pressed a kiss against your neck.

“Tell me you like me, too.”

This fucking guy…

“I like you,” you mumbled, feeling your heart stutter with every word. “I like you so much I can’t imagine going back to a life without you anymore.”

All of a sudden, the possessive grip he had on your hips faltered, making you turn around to sneak a glance. Thoma stared at you with wide, green eyes—flushing so badly even the tips of his ears were red.

In the end, his embarrassment melted with a sigh. 

“You know just exactly how to rile me up, don’t you?” 

You were about to dish out some crude reply, but Thoma effectively shut you up with a sharp thrust. 

He took you against the edge of the hot spring, pawing at every inch of skin his hands could reach. Your stomach, your breasts, your thighs—if he’d taken you somewhere else, you were sure he’d spend hours worshipping your body alone. 

Maybe taking a guard dog as a lover wasn’t so bad after all.

“So…good,” you drawled, barely having enough strength to prop yourself upright. Thoma muttered something under his breath before angling his cock a bit differently, hitting a spot inside you that made you melt underneath his touch. 

For a moment, he let himself slip out of your cunt—an action met with another whine in protest. But Thoma  was quick to flip you over again, making your back dig into the pool’s edge. And when your gazes met, you were completely unprepared for the unadulterated want in his eyes.

“I can’t wait—” he hissed, spreading your thighs wide enough to accommodate him, “—to take you in my bedroom. I’ll love you until morning, I swear it.” 

And you believed him. Every single word. Because Thoma was as honest as a man could be, and you wondered if you could learn to be the same way once you’ve been by his side long enough. 

You’ve never felt like this before. So whole. So special. So adored. He made it clear with each thrust exactly how much you meant to him, and you’d be a fool to turn away now. With a sigh, you laced your fingers around Thoma’s neck—eyes glazed over with a desire of your own.

“Kiss me,” you whispered. 

He was sweating all over, lips bitten red with your earlier activities. But Thoma seemed all too willing to heed your every wish as he lowered himself. You leaned upward to meet him halfway—pressing your breasts against his chest as the cadence of his thrusts slowed into a crawl. Thoma canted his hips deep enough to have you moaning into his mouth, and suddenly, you wouldn’t trade any of this, wouldn’t trade any of him for the world. 

If this is love, you thought airily as you lost yourself in the sensation. 

I want all of it.

A few days later, you and Thoma had gone back to work. 

You’d been out all morning, busy with returning confiscated Visions to their rightful owners—something you were more than enthusiastic to get done. After all, it was a job entrusted to the both of you by Ayaka herself.

As a retainer of the Kamisato house, your Lady’s orders were of utmost importance.

However, as the two of you walked back into the estate, your quiet banter with your new lover was momentarily interrupted. In the center of the pavilion, you spotted Ayaka in her lonesome, but you could very much make out the curious eyes of the other retainers encroaching from the sidelines. You couldn’t blame them for their curiosity. 

The Shirasagi Himegimi’s fan dance was always a spectacle to behold. 

You hung back by the entrance as you bore witness to the sight you’d been dying to see since you’d laid your eyes on her. Ayaka was as graceful as the winds of a winter morning, with every move serving to mesmerize any lucky onlooker. She swayed to the beat of the song in her head, flicking her fan with a show of snowflakes every now and again. And when the breathtaking performance came to a close, she glanced your way with a sweet smile.

“Welcome home,” she greeted kindly. “How was your trip?”

“Tiring,” Thoma yawned as the two of you met her at the center. “But everyone’s happy now I guess. Isn’t that right, Miss Kira?”

You nodded. “But it wouldn’t have been possible without you, milady.”

Ayaka chuckled, taking your hands in hers. “Brother and I only laid the groundwork. Everyone else in the Yashiro Commission did their parts as well. This is a team effort, you know?”

If the you from three months ago saw you right now, you knew she would’ve been mortified. Clutching the hands of the same woman you’d been sworn to kill, what a joke. But then again…maybe your past self wouldn’t have minded the idea of being doted on if it was by the princess herself. 

The day you could finally speak to her again, you practically fell to your knees—face splotchy with tears as you spat out every apology you could think of. You were aware of how pathetic you were being. Your crimes had been duly pardoned by Inazuman law, and even if you still harbored some degree of guilt, you swore that you’d right your wrongs in any way or form. And that’s what you were doing now, as an official Kamisato retainer. 

But Ayaka, in all her merciful glory, asked you to stand and put your chin up.

“There’s no need for tears, Miss Kira.” She smiled. “To me, you never really left. You just had to find yourself. And we’d always been willing to welcome you home once you did.” 

And now here you were.

“Oh, you two! You’re back!”

The sound of the Commissioner’s voice snapped you out of your momentary reminiscing. Ayato emerged from the mansion with a familiar figure curled in his arms, and another familiar figure tailing him from behind.  

“Yo, newbie!” Yoimiya greeted with a smile. “So you’re the one who made all those nifty cures, huh? Glad to have supported your cause!”

Blinking up from underneath her hood, Sayu seemingly nuzzled herself further into Ayato’s chest. “So noisy…”

“Aw, Sayu! Don’t go sleeping now! We’re still going to test the fireworks I brought!”

“Are you making preparations for the lunar festival later?” Thoma asked. “We kind of delayed that for a while, huh?”

Ayato nodded with a sigh. “All the more reason to put our backs into it. We’re heading over to Amakane Island to sample Yoimiya’s new inventions. She wanted to make sure there’s no need for fine-tuning. Do you two want to come with?”

“Isn’t it a bit early for testing out fireworks though?” Ayaka wondered, gazing out at the afternoon sky. “But I suppose we could take advantage of the time we have. You and Miss Kira are leaving tomorrow, yes?”

“Unfortunately,” the Commissioner sighed before turning to you and Thoma. “Well, what do you say?”

Before you could even open your mouth, Thoma was already slinging an arm around your shoulder—grinning at Ayato with a confident air.

“We’d love to!”

“So why are you still calling me Kira again? Everyone’s starting to forget I actually have a real name because of you...” 

You posed the question to Thoma when you two found a comfortable spot on the cliff, just underneath the cherry blossoms as you watched Yoimiya and the Kamisato siblings set up the fireworks by the beach. 

Thoma shrugged, resting his chin on your shoulder as he hugged you from behind. “I kind of got used to it.” 

“Liar.”

“What? I’m not lying.”

You snorted, turning to face him with a smirk—the fox mask on your head lightly bumping against his. “It’s not the whole truth either, though,” you said, leaning closer to nuzzle your nose with his. “Come on. I’m leaving tomorrow without any idea when I’ll be back. I won’t get the chance to ask you again for a good while.” 

He whined. “Can I really not come along? I’ve been to Yashiori, too, you know… I’m pretty tough.”

“So you’re just going to leave milady alone like that?”

“...How about we all just go on an indefinite field trip to the Orobashi’s graveyard, and Madarame can be the pseudo-Yashiro Commissioner for a while,” Thoma suggested. “I think it would be a win-win for all parties involved.”

“I don’t think milady will last long living in the wild,” you admitted, and Thoma surrendered with a sigh. “But fine. If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you.”

For what it’s worth, the thought of leaving Thoma to help investigate the wards on Yashiori left a bitter taste in your mouth, too. It’s only been a few days since the two of you made it official, and now you’re going to have to leave him for a while. But there were things that had to be done, and as a Kamisato retainer, you’re obligated to see them through until the end.

Sometime later, Yoimiya shouted from below to keep your eyes peeled. You and Thoma had been assigned as the official judges for her newest craft, and you were more than happy to humor the lively fireworks-maker. It also gave you an excuse to sit between Thoma’s legs as you watched.

However, as the special fireworks shot up to the sky, you felt Thoma’s breath against your ear.

“It’s because I want to be the only one who calls you by your real name,” he whispered. “Is that so possessive of me?”

Whether the redness of your face was a reflection from the fireworks or plain embarrassment, no one would ever be able to tell.

Yoimiya’s invention was something else—fireworks that changed color right before the sparks shimmered into oblivion. Fiery red morphing into electric blue. Bright gold into luscious green. You watched each one rise into the sky with a dazzled look, chest twisting at the idea that it might take you a while to witness another fireworks show again.

You were completely unaware of the bright emerald eyes that watched you the whole time.

When all the preparations on the island were set, and you’d given Yoimiya your stamp of approval, the visitors had started pouring in. It’s as if Inazuma hadn’t been on the brink of an internal collapse because of the Kanjou and Tenryou Commission’s misdeeds. Everyone who walked beneath the torii gates had smiles splitting their faces as they sampled festival food, tied their wishing charms, and tried their hand at the game booths. 

That night, Thoma finally met his match in the form of a rather competitive Kujou Sara—who made a surprising entrance with Masahito despite how busy things were on their end. She ended up beating Thoma’s goldfish-catching record without a sweat, earning herself a new and improved Mister Danuki plush of her own.

Even the kids from Konda Village made it, immediately running towards yours and Ayaka’s direction before they inevitably dragged the two of you all over the place. The princess must have sensed the unease in your posture as Futaba and Takeru told you about how their fathers used to bring them here all the time, too.

There’s a time for you to tell them. Just not now, her eyes seemed to say.

Ayaka had to peel away from your little group to perform her fan-dance to the crowd, enrapturing every single person in attendance without fail. From behind, you could hear Kujou Sara speaking to Ayato about how the princess can finally enjoy a festival like a normal girl. The Commissioner couldn’t help but sigh in agreement. 

By the time Yoimiya’s fireworks show was underway, you were already exhausted. 

Instead of taking your usual spot by the cliffs, you decided to hang around by the entrance with Thoma, where there were less people crowding the space. This gave you the leeway to breathe, resting your head on his shoulder as you fought your brain’s desire to just go to sleep.

“We can head back now if you want,” he offered, stroking your hair. 

“Mmm…” you groaned. “But Yoimiya’s fireworks.” 

The chief retainer smiled. “And you’ve already done her a favor by judging her handiwork. You deserve a good night’s rest before you leave, you know?”

Well, it didn’t take much convincing for you to agree, so to speak.

Thoma’s mattress was soft as you landed on the surface, not bothering to change out of your kimono. Your lover let out a soft laugh while he stripped himself of his uniform before joining you on his bed. The dip of the bed under his weight made you crack one eye open, and you could see him holding a familiar toy in front of you.

“Don’t forget to pack Mister Danuki before you leave,” he reminded, setting the plush on top of his nightstand. 

“I won’t,” you murmured. “I’ll miss you too much if I do…”

Thoma sighed as he pulled the sheets over your bodies. “You always know what to say, huh?”

You let out a satisfied noise when you felt him nestle you in his strong arms. Turning around, you rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

“You’re not going to try anything tonight?” you asked curiously.

“As much as I want to have passionate, unforgettable goodbye sex,” Thoma started with a laugh, pressing his lips against your forehead, “I am completely serious about you getting a good night’s rest, Miss Kira. Now go to bed before I change my mind.”

Though your eyelids were heavy with fatigue, you still managed a soft, almost mischievous laugh. Thoma, of course, didn’t miss the playful lilt in your tone, and immediately groaned when you climbed on top of his lap.

You stared at him from your vantage point, watching the way his ears turned red under your scrutiny. This was the man who made the gears on your stale, unsalvageable life finally turn. If it weren’t for him, you never would’ve changed. If it weren’t for him, you never would have formulated a cure that’s effective enough to save those you cared about.

If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be as happy as you were now.

“I love you,” you told him, fingers toying with the pendant around his throat. “Thoma of the Kamisato House, I love you.” 

Thoma smiled, soft and sincere and everything you’ve ever loved. When his hand reached up to caress your cheek, you’re not strong enough to resist his touch.

“I love you, too.”

This was your place in the world. Even if you had to leave for a while, you’ll always come back to him. 

Without worry. Without fail.

<- previous | next ->

© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms.

[alegocarmadein]

yalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

So I took Cornwallis to the vet today. I have been waiting until I had enough money to pay for whatever medication they were going to prescribe. There was four problems I was going in for.

He's had gross debris constantly building up in his ear and its really itchy.

His nail beds were itchy and inflamed and his nails were turning brown

He's been having diarrhea

He has (the entire time we've had him) a fucked up tooth.

My mom was pretty sure 1 & 2 were a yeast infection, I was guessing 3 was colitis, and for 4 I was assuming it was going to need to get removed.

So we go in. Things are fine. The front desk workers and vet tech all recognize him and love on him. Great. We go to the exam room, I reiterate all the problems, vet tech asks questions, all good. brings in doc.

He tells me his nail beds are probably just that color. I go like....no man, he had this when we first got him in september, it went away, the brown grew out of his nails and now its back. He goes. Cool. 1 & 2 are a yeast infection. He prescribes an ointment for the ears and a medicated shampoo for his paws

Then we talk about 3. It's colitis. woohoo. Tells me to get an otc med from the pharmacy for him. Cool.

And then. FOUR. jesus fuck. So we're wrapping up the appointment and i go like hold on there's this fucked up tooth and i can't describe it but its fucked up look at it. and hes inspecting wallys mouth and I just sidle up and open wally mouth and point it out and he goes. Hm. Capital H Hm.

And then he sighs and says its fractured, theres a piece of the crown missing and if the root is exposed which he thinks it is, it'll need to be removed. it'll be a level 2 oral surgery he tells the vet tech and says she'll get me an estimate before I leave.

I sit out in the lobby with my brother and wally. we wait.

These two ladies who came in together with a bichon frise and a chihuahua have them on retractable leashed. Except. They are Not Retracting The Fucking Leashes. They are letting these TINY ITTY BITTY DOGS be on a 15ft leash just running into wallys face. and like. look. SO GLAD that they aren't biased against pitbulls. That being said. I would not let my tiny itty bitty dog run up to a nervous pitbull in the corner while im staring at my phone. And they just...let them. Like get right up. and she goes "ah. oh atlas come on." while standing at the door, again, 15ft away. and Im just like. stunned. Wally stays quiet though and just sniffs it curiously and then she comes over and yanks her dog away but jesus.

So like, look, im already on edge. and then the front desk woman gives me the paper with the estimate.

For 1 (one) tooth being removed it's $1098.99

What. the. Fuck. I don't have pet insurance! I barely work ten hours a week! I make $14 an hour! What the fuck! So I just start laughing. Just like silent laughter because what the fuck. and then I am just stunned.

And the lady is still talking to me explaining how to give him the prescriptions and I am NOT listening.

Soooo Yeah. I need to somehow make and save 1.1k so I can remove a second tooth from my doggy. My goal is to do that by summer. Like by the end of June I want his tooth outta there. Thankfully I make money by doing home care aide work for my dad on my off hours so I'm going to do A LOT OF WORK AROUND THE HOUSE.

I'm still just stunned. Like. 1.1k. What the fuck.

And I'm.....not ready to beg for money from people because it's not an emergency issue and I need to save that goodwill for when I do have an emergency type situation, but I might push my selling of art and see if I can get a bit from that. FUCK.

[sightoru]

My brother got a root canal and he is the BIGGEST WIMP istg. This man gets a paper cut and thinks he is dying and will complain about it even after it is healed. But after some ice and a few days of soft foods he was feeling fine. Just listen to your dentist and ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable with the procedure!

Good luck!! And CONGRATS ON ALL THE EXCITING LIFE THINGS!! Decorating is so much fun I hope you find all the amazing thifty goodies!!

after dentist appointments i am usually a crying blubbering mess!! i do have a dentist i adore but im seeing a different person for this because of insurance issues unfortunately :/ so its also gonna be with someone im not as comfortable with :(

im reading about it tho its really not as bad as what people say it is (idk i read smth about how like back in the day it sucked more but now it doesnt with new medications / technology) but im still !! nervous!!! drilling in my mouth and soft foods :((

thank u for reaching out tho!! im glad to hear someone else telling me its not as bad as my brain says it is <3

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sliding Into Home ~ Don't You Know How to Spell Assume?

Pairing: MLB!Frank Adler x Abigail Hernandez (OFC)

Synopsis:

After a trade from Boston to Los Angeles, first baseman Frank Adler would seem to have it all. Money, women, an amazing niece, yes Frank should have it all. Except for one thing. One thing that left after a mistake five years ago. Los Angeles should be the chance to start over. Except she is supposed to be in Boston. Not his new medical director.

* A Frank Adler AU x Major League Baseball Story**

Warning: ANGST (i can't stress this enough), second chances, cheating, eventual smut, slow burn, drug use, abandonment issues, betrayal, domestic violence (i may have missed some), flashbacks

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Take Your Niece to Work Day

Sliding Into Home Master List Main Masterlist

“This thing is trying to kill me,” Frank grunts, struggling with his bow tie. “Why do they insist on making this shit black tie?” 

“Because of the fancy people Frank,” Mary piped in as she lay on his bed, watching.  

“Thanks, Nugget, for your insight.”  

“What’s insight?” 

“Never mind,” Frank muttered.  

“It means your opinion,” Scott said as he walked into the room.  He reached up to tie the tie for Frank. “You have to explain it to her,” he told Frank.  He adjusted and stepped back. “There, perfect.”  

“Thanks.” Frank looked in the mirror and turned back to his gang.  “How do I look?” 

“Like a penguin,” Scott replied and begin to waddle around, mimicking a penguin, making Mary giggle.  

“You’re hilarious,” Frank deadpanned.  “Why am I so nervous?” 

“Because you have a date,” Scott said with sympathy.  “Its been five years.”  

“Its not a date.”  

“Its something. Its spending time with a woman.” Scott pats his shoulder. “And its not Abby.”  

Frank arrives at the charity event in the limo, alone.  He makes his way through the red carpet, taking photos and speaking with some reporters. The questions are simple, and Frank is somewhat relaxed. As soon as he finished up, he headed into the event. Looking around he spotted Johnny with his date and his sister.  Susan was in a sleek navy blue gown that was modest and elegant, allowing her golden blonde hair to shine. The other woman was in a black gown that left little to the imagination. Frank smiled and headed over.  “Hey Torch, hey Susie.  Sorry,” he glanced at the woman on Johnny’s arm.  “Frank Adler,” he offered his hand.  

A breathy giggle emerges.  “Bethany,” she said.  

“Nice to meet you.  Susie,” he offered his arm to Susan, who took it.  As they walked away, he groaned. “Jesus, is that all Storm wants in a woman?”  

Susan stifled a laugh.  “Apparently.  She’s a makeup artist.  I use that term loosely.  She works at a makeup store selling make up. And hopefully tit tape since that is all that is holding that dress up.” 

Frank snorted a laugh. “Why am I not surprised.” Frank shook his head. “Thanks for doing this, Susie.”  

“Its not a problem, Frank. You help me out and I’m returning the favor.”  

A two weeks prior... at the coffee shop.    “I could always give you guys a tour at JPL.  I mean if you want,” Susan offered with a smile.   “And that’s my cue for a refill,” Johnny stated, jumping up and heading to the counter.   Frank sighed.  “Look, Susan, I think you are very nice, but I am not looking for anything serious.”   Susan laughed.  “I know, I’m not either.  But I know you need to keep... umm.. Eager women...”  “Jersey Chasers,” he clarified.   “Fine, jersey chasers off of you.  I can help if you let me. Just as friends. Promise.”  She offered her hand.   Frank took it and shook it. “Friends. But why?”  “Haven't had the guts to tell Johnny that I met someone.” She blushed slightly.  “Why? Wouldn’t that be great?”  “Twin brothers are protective. And he’s not the typical guy that Johnny wants to see me with.” She rolled her eyes allowing Frank to chuckle.   “I get the protective thing. I have a sister, obviously, but she is free to live her own life.  Now, if he hurt her, that’s a different story. But fuck what Johnny wants. Does this guy...”  “Reed,” she offered.   “Is Reed a good guy who likes you for you?” She nodded. “Then be happy. And I meant what I said.  Fuck what Johnny thinks.”  They shared a laugh as Johnny returned.   “So how’s it going?”  “Susan agreed to be my, uh, companion I guess is the right word for the benefit.”  “Great!” Johnny smiled and wrapped an arm around his sister. “I guess this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”  

As Frank and Susan walked the floor, another couple arrived at the benefit.  Abby and Mike walked hand in hand, greeting the owners of the Dodgers and looked for their table.  Her heart sank as the assignments had them sitting with Frank. As she read, her heart plummeted further. He was seated next to a Bethany Carmichael and Susan Storm.  Knowing Johnny, he didn’t bring his sister as his date.  

“That is an interesting assignment,” Mike commented.  He looked at Abby and could see the anguish. “You didn’t asked to be seated with him right?” He grasped her fingers a little tighter.  

Two weeks Before, Abby and Mike’s house...  “Abby, beautiful, I’m so sorry.” Mike was on his knees groveling as she walked out of the bathroom in the morning. “Baby...”   “Don’t touch me.” Abby moved into their bedroom.  She was refusing to look in the mirror, afraid of what she would see. Mike followed.  “Baby...”  “No, I can’t do this...”  “Please don’t leave Abby. I am so sorry. It was an accident.” He shed tears and got back on his knees in front of her. “I’m so ashamed of myself. He clutched her around the middle. “Please, I’ll do anything.”   Abby sighed. Her heart was conflicted. She knew he had crossed a line, but it wasn’t one he had before. She didn’t want to give up on him. “One more chance Michael. But I swear...”  “No, baby, thank you, I promise. It will never happen again.”    Abby stayed home that day, letting her face heal. And Mike was loving, so attentive. They never spoke about it again. Frank was never brought up. She kept her promise to avoid the Adlers. It was breaking her heart.  

“No,” she shook her head. “I was planning to avoid him as much as possible.” That was a lie. She wanted to see Frank. To see how well he was. Ever since his hug and kiss from the hospital she could not stop thinking of him.  After watching Mary, she saw what she had been missing.  Frank and Mary were not just an uncle and his niece. They had grown to father and daughter.  

Mike guided her to their table. “Hello Johnny, Frank,” Mike said with a saccharine tone.  

Frank stiffened at his voice. Susan caught the flinch and patted his leg. Abby caught the movement and frowned. But it was Johnny who broke the silence at the table. “Hi, you’re Mr. Weiss, right?” Mike nodded. “John Storm.  This is my date, Bethany and my sister, Susan. Mr. Weiss is with the team’s legal department. And this is Dr. Hernandez, our head team doctor.”  

Susan stood and shook hands with the couple. “Susan Storm. It's nice to meet you both.”  

“Abigail Hernandez,” Abby said quietly. She assessed Susan and couldn’t find a fault. She was beautiful, elegant, poised. Exactly what she would have wanted for Frank before, when he wasn’t hers. But now, now he wasn’t hers again and it hurt.  

Mike was seated next to Bethany and was talking with her, and Abby was seated next to another player and his date.  She didn’t say much at the table, keeping her focus on the centerpiece.  A laugh broke her out of her concentration. Susan and Frank were laughing at something, and Abby’s heart clenched.  “I’m going to the restroom,” she told Mike.  

“I’ll join you,” Susan said, standing from the table.  She gave Frank’s shoulder a squeeze and walked toward Abby.  

Dammit, she thought.  She just needed a moment away from perfect Susan with her Frank and... the thought startled her. Frank was no longer hers. She made sure of that when she walked away. And yet, the thought of this woman, this flawless, perfect woman, was able to touch him, to be with him, made her angry.  

Dr. Hernandez, are you alight? Susan looked at her face with concern.  

Abby snapped out of it. She hadn’t schooled her face like she thought. “Sorry, just a lot on my mind. I’m fine Dr. Storm.” She had heard that she had completed her doctorate at MIT in astrophysics.  

“Call me Sue. You seem young for a doctor?” 

“I graduated three years early from high school. Frankie, I mean Frank and Mike and I went to the same undergraduate.” Abby looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize who she saw. It was her but the sparkle was gone.  

“Wow, impressive. Johnny got his diploma but bolted as soon as he was drafted. I headed east for school. Came back when they had an opening at JPL.”  

“That’s...” Abby searched for words, “nice.” She offered a hard smile, not wanting to cause a scene. But her blood boiled. “So, you and Frank.”  

“Yeah, he’s been so nice. He’ll make someone very happy.” Sue touched up her lipstick.” But you and Mike are cute together. Engaged long?” 

Abby tried to maintain her tone. “A couple of months. We’re gonna start looking for a venue soon.”  

“Oh.” Sue was stunned. She had assumed that Abby and Mike had just been playing but no, this was real.  

Abby walked out and back to the table, Susan trailing.  She could see the tension rising from the table. She went to Mike. “Everything ok?” 

“I was just asking how long Frank and Susan had been hooking up.” Mike grinned. “I mean, someone here sent a photo of them together to a tabloid and then more photos from a coffee shop, it looks like, are floating around as well.  Frankie boy got overheated at my question.  I wondered why.” He showed Abby his phone with the article and the photos.  Photos of Frank hugging Susan and then kissing her cheek.  

Abby looked at Frank, who was a little pink in the cheeks. She understood; Steve had mentioned it.  There had been no one since Abby and now there was Susan. Her heart broke. He found someone better. “I’m just gonna get a drink.  Excuse me.” Abby headed to the bar but once she was out of sight, she made it to the lobby.  She found a seclude area and sat, numb.  

She let him go. She threw him away and yet, it hurt. It hurt so much that he had waited for five years for her to come back and when they met again, well, she is engaged. To his former best friend. A single tear dropped and landed on her hand.  

“Cricket?” 

Abby turned to see Frank standing at the doorway. “Go away.”  

“No, Cricket, you’re crying.”  

“Its nothing, just leave me alone.” She turned to move away but Frank stopped her.  He pulled her into his arms to hold her in place.  

“Abigail, what’s wrong?”  

Abby looked up at Frank. He never called her Abigail. “Are you with Susan?” 

“What?” 

“Is what Mike saying, true? Are you dating Susan?” 

Frank looked at her curiously. “Why do you care, Abby? You left me, remember? You’re with Mike.” 

Abby lowered her head. “I know.”  

“So, tell me, why do you care?” 

She kept her head down and just shook it a little. “I just want to make sure she’s good enough,” she lied. 

Frank quirked a smile. “Liar. Little lying Cricket. You could never lie to me sweetheart.” He chuckled and grasped her chin to tilt her head up. “Tell me.”  

“Because I need to know,” she whispered.  

Frank studied her face, seeing the deep sadness and fear of his possible answer. He sighed. “No, Cricket, I’m not dating Susan. She’s my date tonight to keep the jersey chasers away.”  

Abby was stunned. “But she’s perfect.”  

Frank gave a half smile. “Maybe for her boyfriend, Reed, but not for me. I know what perfect is and I’ll never find it again.”  

Abby stared into his eyes, the blue she was still so in love with. “I miss you, Frankie.”  

“I miss you too Cricket.” He watched the tear fall from her eye. “Don’t cry, my love,” he whispered. He wiped it away but cupped her cheek. He watched as she melted into his warmth and closed her eyes. “Open them, Cricket.” They opened and watched as he kept studying her before drifting to her lips and back. She nodded and he smiled before leaning forward and pressing his lips to her. She closed them again and gave into the kiss.  

It was exactly like she remembered. His lips were soft but demanding, gentle and yet she could feel all of the love poured into it. He slowed to break the kiss but kept his forehead on hers. “Frankie,” she whispered.  

“Abby. God, I’ve missed you.” He kissed her again, a little more urgently. Abby moaned and Frank took his chance, slipping his tongue in her mouth, tasting her again for the first time in five years. God, he missed this, he missed her. It went on for a moment before Frank remembered where he was, who he was with. He pulled back, stepping away from her.  “Fuck, Cricket, I’m sorry.”  

“Don’t be,” she shook her head. “It’s my fault.”  

“Its never your fault, gorgeous.” He ran his finger through her hair and grasped her at the nape of her neck. “Fuck, you are still so beautiful,” he leaned down and kissed her again.  

Abby lost herself. “Don’t leave me Frankie. I – I need you. I want you.”  

“I’m yours Cricket. I always have been.” He sighed. “But Mike.”  

“Let’s just keep it between us, for now, ok?” She bit her lip. “Maybe see each other when he’s out of town or at work. Just between us.”  

“Abby, you’re engaged. Sweetheart, you are with...” 

“The wrong man,” she finished. Frank looked at her, shocked. “I want to leave him Frankie. I made a mistake and I want to come... home.”  

Home. Fuck that’s all he ever wanted. He cupped her face. “I want you to come home too. But I think we should talk and work things out.  You need to break things off. But, yes, we can see each other in private, ok? I love you, Cricket.”  

“Oh Frankie, I love you too.”  She reached up to kiss him again. This time it was with a smile on both their faces. And an audience watching. 

Next

Taglist:

@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @jennmurawski13-writes @before-we-get-started @tinkerbelle67 @bunnyforhim

[giggly-moon]

I HAVE MADE A THIRD EPIC OC!!! his name is Sage and i love him dearly. and i am VERY SORRY that most of this is just Angst i physically couldn’t think of many non-angsty stuff for him LMAO

Sage is fully mortal unlike the other two, and is a medic on the ship. he’s a very nervous, fidgety, stressed out and easily frightened guy, and not the most social. he spends most of his time below deck working.

tends to try to avoid a lot of the crew’s shenanigans because he’s such an easy target for pranks, the others will sneak up on him or hide around a corner to scare him all the time because it’s funny to watch him freak out

one of the only physical features of his that i can vividly visualize is that he has semi-log very curly hair that he usually keeps tied back, which is honestly always a bit of a mess, with quite a few gray hairs already forming (elpenor will poke fun at him and call him old as a joke because of it, but it’s just because of stress)

he was a regular soldier when he joined the war and was a very skilled fighter as well, but due to a terrible accident that happened during the war that left him fatally injured, he was unable to properly fight afterwards. he was probably the closest Odysseus ever came to losing one of his men during the war

the injuries themselves happened after they had been attacked and he was crushed under fallen rubble, and he was stuck there unable to move for a while until he was found and the rubble was removed, revealing him as a broken and bloodied heap on the ground. he spent a long time in recovery, the healers all saying it was a miracle he even survived (maybe it was divine intervention, who knows)

because of this it’s become a bit of an unspoken rule on the ship that if you’re gonna pull a prank on Sage then never, ever do something that makes him unable to move his limbs because he Will have a genuine panic attack

even though he wasn’t able to properly fight anymore, he was still determined to be of use in other ways, like training to become a medic as his primary job. he also does other tasks like cleaning weapons and mending clothes, stuff like that

he has a lot of big scars leftover from his injuries, they’re most prominent on his legs, arms, shoulder, chest, and the side of his face around his temple. sometimes the pain from the injuries will flare up again, or he’ll have some difficulty moving around

his mother was also a medic/herbalist and taught him a lot of basic stuff even before he started his medical training, which is why she named him Sage. they have a very… complicated relationship, she loves him and he loves her but she’s to blame for a lot of his anxiety issues

has a pretty close relationship with Eurylochus, i feel like he was probably the one that rescued Sage from the rubble, which makes it all the more sad when Sage ends up dying to Scylla

also forms a very unlikely friendship with Enne, despite being freaked out by them at first. Enne gets injured a lot and Sage doesn’t like just leaving people injured even if they say it’s fine, so he’ll offer to patch them up and in return Enne will bring him different herbs and medical supplies he otherwise would have difficulty getting

[thoughtsandbones]

Revelations and Misconceptions

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!MedicDoc OC (codename: Blue) 💀💙

WARNINGS: Mention of alcohol, war, profanity, medical inaccuracies and just getting the POV of our friendly neighbourhood masked menace.

Plot: Doctor Ruhari Hari Kaur (OC is South Asian ☺️) joins the 141 again, but this time as their doctor. After the betrayal of Shepherd and Graves, Task Force 141 begins their hunt on his whereabouts and locating Makarov.

PLEASE reblog and like! Hope folks are enjoying the series, I am building up characters and plots, cos I have a lot ideas and just been enjoying writing :D

Song inspo: Sonne - Rammstein

A/N: Flashbacks are getting messed up when I am indenting them and I am getting lots of errors when publishing the work, please bare with some mistakes and spelling issues.

RAMC - Royal Army Medical Corps

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline... (Also I'm ignoring the OG Shepherd betrayal and keeping in line the one with the new timeline..)

All rights reserved to the rightful owners of Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

spelling and some grammar mistakes as I am bad at times... :/

(FYI: bold sentences... that are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

Please do let me know how you all are finding this fanfic! :D

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7 and PART 8

Part 9

LIABILITY?! FUCKING LIABILITY!! The thought rang through your head as you walked back to the training course and hand in the pistols and the cleaning kit.

You head back our from the base and catch Price and Ghost walking out from the garage, you hear Price call out your name but you don't respond, you just keep walking ahead to Building 2, quickening your pace to trying to increase the distance between you and Price and that masked menace.

Once inside you sprint up to the infirmary and see Soap waiting outside, leaning back against the infirmary door, head lowered with one leg bent against the door. Soap lifts his head up as he hears you approach. You take the key out of your pocket and Soap moves away from the door, giving a smile to you.

"Hey lass-" He begins

"It's Dr Kaur" You snap at him unlocking the door giving him a cold stare. Ghost reignited the diminished anger and you felt like you were on fire with rage.

Soap was shocked. Did I really annoy you that much last night?

"I'm sorry about last night" Soap said, following you into the infirmary, watching you go round the table and sit. The same look on your face that you had earlier in the mess hall. Soap felt nervous for first time in a long time.

Leaning back in the chair you take a deep breath. You look back at Soap with regret. You didn't mean to snap at him.

"No, I'm sorry sergeant." You say "I've been in a shit mood and I should not have snapped at you like I did just now" You add, sighing leaning back further in the chair.

Soap stepped closer, your face now relaxed. You gesture at the empty seat opposite you, and Soap sits, leaning close to you over the desk.

"Yer alright Doc- tor Kaur?" He stammered

You smile, "Doc is fine" you say. "Just a shit day."

Soap nods.

"How's the head" You ask

"Been better" Soap responded

"Still drinking water?"

"Aye" he says, pulling out a steel flask from his pocket of his fatigues.

"Good"

"I did not mean to say those things or offend you you last night Doc" Soap said

You smile, huffing a small laugh. The rage simmered down within you.

"So you don't think I'm pretty?" You say, widening your eyes, leaning forwards resting your head on your right hand.

Soap felt his cheeks flush has he washed your expression change to this doe-eyed look.

"I err-- what?" Soap said stammering. Seems like Gaz, Price and Ghost missed out a crucial piece of information from the events of last night.

Laughing aloud at the flustered look taken ahold of Soap.

"Last night you said:" you clear your throat

"Yer real pretty" you say mimicking Soap's Scottish accent. You laugh again, the rage now washing away.

"Ah Jesus" Soap says burying his head in his hands.

"It's all good, don't worry. We all say shit when we're drunk" You say reassuringly.

"It was the first time I tried sambuca since I was a young lad" Soap chuckled, lifting his head up. You were beaming, your smile showed off a slight dimple in your right cheek.

"Also, I don't want you to think I'm er..." Soap said, struggling to say the words correctly. "homophobic" he whispered

You looked at Soap shocked. "Soap, you are not. Most men are surprised when they find out I've been with a woman"

Soap was still looking at with concern in his eyes.

"How yer feeling after that Dr Jones fella?" Soap asked

You shrug your shoulders.

"Target course helped" You say, omitting the details of what Price and Ghost said. You didn't want to get angry again.

"Aye, you're a good shot" Soap said nodding at you. "Been impressed with your skills, even after all these years" he adds

You look back, pondering if he also thought you'd be a 'liability' in the field.

"Hmmm" you mumbled

On your desk, lies the black notebook. Suddenly you remember the tasks that lay within, mostly importantly, the 141 were going on a mission in two days and you needed to make sure their med kits and that they were fit enough to be deployed.

"Sergeant, you leave in two days right?" You say

"Aye, to Urzikstan" Soap says

"How's your med kit?" You ask

Soap lifted his head, pondered at the thought.

"Think it needs re-filling" He responded.

"Is Captain Price calling a general meeting before deployment?"

"Aye, along with Laswell"

You nod along. "When?" You ask, reaching for the black notebook, and flicking to a new page.

"Tomorrow afternoon I believe, Laswell gets in tomorrow morning so guessing sometime tomorrow." Soap says. "You comin' with us?" He asks, raising his eyebrows.

At that same moment, Price walks in, followed by Ghost who stood by the door.

"No, apparently I am a liability" You say coldly, staring straight at Ghost. Soap turned around and saw Price and Ghost and gave them a nod.

"Hari" Price said "That was a suggestion" He added

"That I'm a liability or getting the active duty status?" You ask, flickering your eyes between Ghost and Price.

"Yer allowing her to be on active duty?" Soap quipped turning to Price

"No.." Price said sternly, looking at Soap and then to you.

Ghost stood in the doorway, staring at the ground whilst he could feel the daggers you were giving him. A part of him regretted what he said, but knows that it is for the best.

Soap looked at you and then at Ghost, the looking tension flickered and began to rise within the atmosphere.

Your eyes met Ghosts. Was he even going to say anything at all? Briefly looking at your watch then back to Ghost, who continued to stare back, he finally broke his gaze, looking at his shoes. You look at your watch again. 21 seconds..

Price sighed heavily, noticing the staring contests, turned to Ghost and gave him a stern look. Soap smirked slightly; something happened between you two surely..

"Soap says Laswell is coming in tomorrow, I'd like to part of the debrief prior to the mission. I also need to check the med kits." You say whilst jotting down the notes in your notebook.

"Debrief is at 2pm in BR.04" Price said finally easing the tension. "You will meet Kate Laswell, Station Chief" Price added

Looking up, you nod and smile "Looking forward to it sir"

"Do yer need to do medical overviews Doc?" Soap says

"In what sense?" You say looking up to Soap, witnessing a sheepish grin appear.

"Check our vitals and all? Mission prep eh?" Soap glees

"Good shout Soap, routine health check ups tomorrow morning" Price concluded nodding to Soap, who nods back and then turns to Ghost, who was still in the doorway.

Ghost glared at Price and Soap, he then looked at you, continuing to write in your journal.

"Right then. Let's go lads, we as a team, have lot to do before our debrief tomorrow" Price says looking at the three members in the room.

"I shall send an email to you all this evening at what times I'll do these.. health checks.." You wearily say looking at Price and Soap.

Price smiles at you, turns to leave, Ghost swiftly left as Price moved towards the door. Soap sat in the chair looking at you.

He leans forwards and lets out a sigh, you look up from your notebook and weakly smile at Soap.

"Hope yer alrigh' Doc" Soap asks, eyes gleaming with concern. You could tell he was being genuine, and not at all cold and glacier cold like Ghost...

"Yeah, I'll be good Soap" You say, trying to smile.

Soap looks back and nods, he finally gets up.

'For the record, I don't think yer a liability, I think yer'd be great, being with us on missions" Soaps says and grins and gives a wink.

A light laugh leaves your lips. You watch on as Soap leaves the infirmary, the door remaining open.

You flick through to the end of your notebook, beneath a set of numbers, you jot down 21 seconds. You scan the column, ranging from 56 seconds to 14 seconds and to 1 minute. The amount of time Lieutenant Ghost has been staring at you.

It's understandable this guy has trust issues, but surely he has to have a valid no bullshit reason for not wanting you on missions.

You look up, and as the thought flashes through your nerves within the grey of your brain, eyes widening at the revelation.

Unless he knows about what happened in Siberia ...

[timeoverload]

I didn't feel good when I woke up as usual. I'm just sore and I felt really sad earlier. I don't want to spend most of the weekend in the house again.

I got up and went to the doctor even though I really didn't want to. It went ok for the most part. I think I like my new provider more than the other lady I was seeing. She seemed to be more thorough and more empathetic. She felt my ribs and they are definitely tender on the left side but she didn't think there was anything seriously wrong with them. My lungs sound fine. She just told me to let her know if I have any more problems. My vitals were good and she thinks I'm healthy. I had to get blood drawn and the nurse was having a hard time with that. Normally I have no problem giving a blood sample but I think I'm dehydrated. I'm nervous about the results but I won't find out until Monday. I will try not to worry about it. I am back down to 106lbs. so I'm frustrated about that. I talked to her about my problem with soda and she wasn't really concerned about it. She just told me to drink lots of water and I do most of the time. She also didn't give me a lecture about vaping because she knows that doesn't do any good. She knows I'm not proud of that and she is understanding. She said that she can help whenever I decide to quit but she wasn't pushy. I have to get a couple vaccinations next time I go so that will be fun. My mom didn't believe in the cervical cancer vaccine so she didn't let me get one when I was a teenager so I'm going to have that done. I thought I was too old for that but I still have 16 years. I might have to pay for it out of pocket because insurance might not cover it but it's ok. I also am about due for a tetanus shot so I am going to get that taken care of too. I still have 2 years but I would rather get it early since I work with a lot of metal. I told her I don't want to increase my medication because I know that's not going to solve any of the issues that I'm having at this point. I think I'm pretty stable, despite the circumstances I'm currently in. I don't have to go back until December unless I have more problems before then.

I didn't want to go straight home after I got done at the doctor so I went for a drive. I drove through our old neighborhood again. I don't know why I bother doing that because it makes me cry. It is just very pretty out there in the summer. I don't think I will do that for a while because I don't like getting emotional about it. I think crying helped me feel a little better though.

I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my day. I want to take a nap but I don't want to sleep all day either. I went to bed at 9:30 last night. It was nice to get off work early but I was too tired to enjoy my time much. I guess I'm going to find something to do now. I don't really feel like being on tumblr at the moment. Hopefully I can make it a good weekend.

I hope everyone else has a good weekend too. 💖💖💖

[cyanidefilledcandy]

So....

I would absolutely love to stream right now, but I'm inable to.

One, because of whatever LOVELY person is blasting music like this is a fucking rave.

And two, and most importantly, I just am exhausted and don't have the energy for it; even after just waking up from a 1 and half nap.

And of course, I've narcolepsy to thank for that.

So, I recently went to a neurologist. I was hoping to finally get my face pain addressed and hopefully, diagnosed. But my new primary instead set me up with a sleep specialist. (I did not ask for, nor want this, btw. As I told the new sleep doctor, Narcolepsy is something I've just learned to live with and I'm manage it fine. It is not the severe, fall asleep at a split second kind, so I see no harm.) However, since my sleep study was so long ago and he'd likely be unable to get the records, he set me up with another that I had done last week. He said it might be something I have to "just deal with anymore" because that's been almost 15 years ago and medicine has advanced since then. He also said that there was a possibility I'd been diagnosed through process of elimination or that no other diagnosis fit at the time. So, I agreed, mainly for that last reason and because I was just curious.

So, I had it done and in it, I slept WAY better than normal and during the day, I couldn't sleep at all. (They ask you take naps throughout the day and only give you 20 minutes to do so. I don't care how tired I am, I could be literally passing out while standing, it I HAVE to sleep and especially if I know I have a small amount of time to do so, I can NOT sleep....like no matter what.) So, I was worried that the results wouldn't be accurate, one. And two, that I WASN'T actually narcoleptic and their was something else unexplainable going on (and thus, I'd have to start the process all over again).

Well, got the results today and I am 100% narcoleptic, though at this point in my life, that's a big Duh, but finding out what's wrong with me is always nerve-wracking. Anyway, they want to try me on some new medication for wakefulness during the day and......honestly, it's the whole reason why I didn't want to bother with any type of sleep study.

I'm not entirely sure why that kind of medication in particular makes me nervous. (And just now starting to wonder if I did indeed try some before and had a bad time because I honestly can't remember.)

But I think for one, it's a new medication. I have ALWAYS HATED medication with a passion and never want to be on too many pills.

Two, I'm worried about my insomnia. She mentioned that the staying awake or alert throughout the day can sometimes improve insomnia, but I'm 91% sure my insomnia is mostly anxiety and depression based. She also mentioned that getting regulated sleep can sometimes help with that....and that leads to another, unforseeable problem that arose.

They made me sign some kind of controlled substance contract and while I did scan through it and think I have a basic understanding, I have so many other issues that are far more pressing and I don't want to have issue with medications for those way more important things because I'm on some stimulant that I honestly don't want to be on. While my sleep definitely has an effect on my mental health, no part of me believes it's a CAUSE.

I have had mental health issues since I was a toddler; long, long before any type of sleep issues arose. So, *sigh*.....IDK. The whole thing just makes me nervous....

But, I AM willing to try. Maybe it DOES have an effect on my issues with my concentration and being able to complete tasks, especially my artistic pursuits (though again, I don't think it's the root). I will give it the college try, but if it keeps me up at night, or I just don't feel like it's doing anything, I will stop.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi, if it wont take up too much of your time, could i get a match up for obey me?

i'm 20, male (trans), and unlabled in terms of sexuality though i am fine dating any gender.

personality: I am usually very nervous and quiet when I first meet people, (which a lot of my friends call me emo for 😭) but if I do get to know people I become much more friendly and often make a lot of jokes, though i will always be slightly introverted and shy. however, I am kind and show sympathy and empathy regularly, especially when people need it. I have an issue with sort of acting 'head empty' around my friends, but i do trust that i am mature and have strong ambitions for the future. I often don't discuss this with others as the people i'm surrounded by mostly only like me when i'm funny and stuff. i'm not sure if this is more personality or physical, but I also have times were i don't talk a lot. I can get cold and snappy if people irritate me too much, but am usually quite patient.

I can made judgements on people's characters and get their personality down very quickly, and if i do not like them, I will try keep a distance. however, i can sense when people are using coldness or harshness to hide problems and will either try stick around and subtly help them or make sure they're doing well from a distance. I don't like overly energetic and spontaneous people as i get tired and burnt out easily, and often prefer doing less chaotic activities though I do enjoy watching others do stupid stuff.

I'm an intp-t.

physically: I am 163 cm and 52 kg (so basically i have the build of a malnourished child in a charity ad). I am also chinese, so i carry some ethnic features from there. I have relatively short black hair and pale-ish skin. I have a multiple scars and bruises on my arms, legs and elbows which have come from completely random causes, and also some sh issues. I usually wear oversized sweaters and t-shirts with silly goofy cool prints on them. because i'm ftm, I still have female genitals, though i am on testosterone and blockers for the last two years. planning on getting top surgery soon.

hobbies: swimming, baking, cello, aquascaping, botany, chemistry, taekwondo, marine biology, reading, philosophy, drawing.

other-

I have ADD, ASD, and MDD . currently being medicated for major depression, but it's going badly 💀 also had issues with anger and eating disorders in the past but they've gotten a lot better over the years!

I have a higher iq than most but i forgot the exact number

I have daddy issues so naturally my taste in men is immensely fucked up

I don't have much time on my hands due to being in uni, being in a state/national swim team and a strings orchestra, but if i had a partner i would do my best to try spend as much time with them as possible.

I give love through physical touch and gift giving mostly.

I have a dog, but i had to leave him with my parents when I went to uni :( planning to get a cat one day i love cats sm ughhh

I'm not very used to physical touch or words of affection but I do like it a lot!

Thank you so much for your time! Have a good day :))

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Lucifer is a good balance for you. He’s physical enough without being overwhelming, and quietly supportive.

He’s very observant so he can tell when you want physical affection or words of affection, as well as when you need a break from any displays of affection and will adjust his advances accordingly.

Lucifer’s not excessive with his words of affection. He’d rather let his actions convey his fondness for you. But since he knows you like words of affection, he’ll do his best.

No need to worry about him being overly energetic. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Lucifer “energetic” unless he’s under a spell or someone else is in his body. That’s just not who he is.

His brothers on the other hand…Lucifer knows you’re not fond of people who bounce off the walls every other second so he’ll try to keep his brothers under control. But there’s only so much one demon can do.

Loves listening to you play the cello. He enjoys classical music and finds any little imperfections in your playing simply add character to the song.

[pls-insert-25cents-to-continue]

I wrote this several years ago on my old blog and was thinking on it. It's still true. So I'm sharing here as well....

What's wrong with you?

I got asked this today. Twice. Both times elicited a different response.

The first person who asked was a friend and given that it was meant in a joking manner, my response was "Shit. I forgot to carry the folder with the list of things the doctor's at the asylum gave me. Do you think I'm going to get in trouble for that?"

The second person I'd never seen, met or spoken to before and my response was "Uh..."

Totally brilliant right? I thought so. It was eloquent, witty and just all around perfect in shape, form and fashion. Truly, I have the most astounding wit. It is unmatched and unparalleled and this stranger was duly impressed with me and now we're so totally besties.

Not!

So what is wrong with me? The only answer I can come up with is I'm human. That's what's wrong with me. I'm human and can be inanely stupid, sparklingly brilliant, off the wall bonkers, or just fucking mean at any given moment. I'm made up of millions upon millions of different thoughts, ideas, feelings, memories that all get packed together into this tiny little space and what comes out is, well, this person that walks around I call Me.

She can be a real pain in the ass at times and utterly adorable at others (if only you could see me laughing at myself right at this moment).

Course that's not how anyone ever means the question. No, it can't be as simple as that and bet you money if you answer it with "I'm human" they will roll their eye at you and walk away (unless they are that really great sort of person that snorts and laughs--in that case you should immediately pounce on them and become friends. Seriously. Do not let people like that get away. Those are the type of people who when you say someone pissed you off, grab your hand and go skipping down the lane with you singing "We're gonna beat someone up." You want those types of people in your life, but I'm digressing here--I do that). They want you to somehow supply them with a real answer. One that that fits into their idea of the world.

Fine, sit down. This is going to take a while.

Hahahaha! No, I'm not going to list a shit load of faults for you people. That's silly, because that's not the answer those people want either. They don't give a shit what actually makes your brain tick or why you are the way you are. What they really want to know is where the hell you got the balls to open your mouth and say that without thinking twice about it. Especially if it's something that wouldn't be said around polite company. Even more so if it's some hot button issue where there ain't any doubt whatsoever that someone is going to take offense.

They are probably jealous that they aren't brave enough to say something like that themselves.

OK, I lied a little. My filter (you know the one that keeps people from saying inflammatory shit off the cuff at the exact wrong time?), yeah it's got a short in it. It works a hell of a lot better when someone is paying me to be nice, I admit. Not that I'm not nice. I generally am pretty nice to be honest, but seriously, I have trouble with these random trains of thoughts that push the well thought out reasoned response I have out of the way, beat the fuck out of it with a baseball bat before gang raping it and then jumping out of my mouth before I know what's happened. The results can be... Uh... Pretty messed up at times. Sometimes it's this nervous babble complete with giggle and other times these outrageous statements that have everybody backing up a few steps (except for those few special people like I mentioned before).

Because of this, I spend most of my time with my mouth shut (unless I'm among friends like I stated before) around people I don't know well. I am not well socialized. (I am well adjusted. Swear. Got the paperwork to prove it. We don't need no medication.)

I lost the point again. What the heck is wrong with you doesn't actually require an answer. I just have the insane urge to try and answer people when they say it. And it is insane, because really they don't care what the answer is. They have already made their judgement based on whatever tom dickery, kinky fuckery, jaded blast, or violently uttered statement that just came tripping out of your mouth and it's done. You don't get that moment back. You can't do it over. You are now the raving lunatic, or possible deviant in their mind and that's that. They might warm up to you eventually, at some later point, when they realize how harmless you actually are (and yes I'm fairly harmless. Mostly harmless anyway. Did I mention I carry a titanium spork for personal protection? See? Mostly harmless), but that first impression lingers.

Of course, if whatever came out of your mouth was interesting enough to make them really want to know what the heck is wrong with you, they'll stick around to find out. They'll keep coming back. I've made several good friends this way, thank all the little gods above and below.

I know I'm not the only person who does this, who acts like this. Trust me. I'm surrounded by them at work on a daily basis. Truthfully I think most people wish they could be more like that. I mean, I've never heard anything just randomly blurted out that I found was offensive (that is NOT a challenge universe. Swear!). Most of it I think is pretty funny. Some of it a little strange, but I like it! I like it a lot. That's how I know that if I can get past this nervous babble thing I've got going on (I can even freaking babble in emails as well as IM conversation. Honest. It's a skill, I'm telling you), and gather my courage well enough, we'll probably end up being friends.

I'm not real good at it, never be the social butterfly, but at least I'm trying.

I like making those friends smile after we are friends even more. I love making them smile in fact. My day is better if I've made someone in that small group of special people I call friends smile.

So what the heck is wrong with me?

I'm me.

Now what the heck is wrong with you?

No I actually want to know. I want to know what makes you you. Be you for me. Be unique. Don't hold back. I want to know what makes you tick. I honestly do, because... Well because you are human like me. Imperfect. Crazy. Horrible. Violent. Loving.

Wonderful.

What the heck is wrong with you?

[twstrhythm]

Xue Long Yang Union Birthday (Birthday Jacket)

Forgot to post this yesterday. So here we go. All three parts under the cut. (Birthday 3/11)

Happy Birthday! (Part 1) Xue Long: It is almost time for the birthday interview to begin. I wonder who the presenter is… Let’s see what fate has in store for me today.

???: Sorry I’m late! I got lost on my way here.

Theodore: Happy Birthday, Xue Long. I, Thoedore Little, will be your presenter today.

Xue Long: Hello Theodore. I wasn’t expecting you, but welcome nonetheless.

Theodore: Talking to you like this is making me nervous… I wasn’t expecting to get chosen, so I wasn’t prepared with a gift.

Xue Long: That is alright. I am happy enough just hearing your well wishes.

Theodore: While that is kind of you to say, I still need to have something prepared. I asked around to get an idea of what to give you, but not all of them were very helpful. But it still helped me narrow down the possibilities. So… please accept this gift that I have prepared!

Xue Long: Thank you. I’ll open it right away. Oh? These are gloves? They’re soft to the touch and fit just right, and they are a soft pink. I suppose I do not have to worry about it standing out too much from the clothing I wear.

Theodore: Eh? You’re really fine with it?

Xue Long: Of course. It is a nice gift to have. I will be sure to make use of them. But may I ask.

Theodore: I am the one supposed to be asking the questions, but go ahead.

Xue Long: Why did you choose to give me gloves?

Theodore: Oh. I asked the people that know you. They said that your hands are always cold, so I thought it would be a good idea to get you something to keep your hands warm. I mean no offense with this gift!

Xue Long: Don’t act so flustered. I am not offended by anything you have said. I am actually quite flattered that you put so much thought into this. For you to reach out and speak to other people about this, it shows that you have worked hard. I am grateful for that. Once again, thank you for the gift.

Theodore: Since you seem happy with this, I am glad you like the gift.

Xue Long: Of course. I’ll put these to use when I find the right opportunity to.

-----------------------------

Happy Birthday! (Part 2) Theodore: Okay. Let’s get this interview officially started now. "If you could take one person with you to a deserted island, who would you take?” But you cannot pick someone from your dorm.

Xue Long: Hm.. that is a tough one. Anyone that is not in my dorm?

Theodore: That’s right. Just anyone from the school that is not from your dorm.

Xue Long: Then the answer is simple. I would choose Emmett Nightingale.

Theodore: Huh? That was unexpected. I didn’t know you two knew each other…

Xue Long: We have spoken to one another in passing on more than one occasion. I think he is someone I can rely on.

Theodore: Really? Why is that?

Xue Long: His knowledge on medicine and poisons would be useful for survival. On a deserted island, we would want to make sure we have the necessary medical equipment in case of emergencies.

Theodore: Huh? But what about food?

Xue Long: Sure food is a necessity, but it would not help if you have injuries. Plus, Emmett’s knowledge on plants can help to identify what plants are poisonous and which ones aren’t as well. At least I would hope so…

Theodore: You don’t sound so sure anymore…

Xue Long: Well I have some issues of my own I’d have to deal with on a deserted island, but I would be sure to carry my own weight so he does not have to do all of the work. If we find anything edible, I’ll be sure to cook it up.

Theodore: Oh. That seems useful.

Xue Long: Of course. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. We just need to make sure to look out for one another, and we will be sure to survive.

-----------------------------

Happy Birthday! (Part 3) Theodore: Okay! Let’s move onto the next question then! “If you were to join any dorm other than Diasomnia, which dorm would you choose?”

Xue Long: Another dorm? Hmm… that is not something I had thought to consider until now… But I will start with this. I would not join Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, or Scarabia. Theodore: Rejecting my dorm right off the bat… Why is that?

Xue Long: The rules in Heartslabyul are too strict for my liking, and Savanaclaw and Scarabia’s temperatures are too warm for me. I suppose I would have to pick Octavinelle then.

Theodore: Oh… I see… But anyways, why Octavinelle?

Xue Long: I just find something about being underwater mesmerizing. There is just something beautiful about it all.

Theodore: Aren’t you worried about what their dorm leader may do?

Xue Long: Not at all. I am no fool. I will not take any of his contracts so easily. We can stay on amicable terms as long as he does not try to pull anything funny with me. I will not tolerate it if he tries anything, and I will be sure he knows that he should not try messing with me.

Theodore: Haha… it sounds like you are trying to threaten him. I am starting to get a bad feeling about all of this…

Xue Long: Please relax. There is no need for that.

Theodore: I guess you are right… but you’re a little scarier than I thought you would be. It makes me nervous for the next part…

Xue Long: Ah! Does this mean the interview is concluding now?

Theodore: Yup… that concludes all of the interview questions. Based on your reaction, you already know what is about to come.

Xue Long: Of course. I have heard plenty going around.

Theodore: Then please prepare for the “Gift of Good Fortune” because it will be coming very soon. This is making me nervous…

Xue Long: Take a deep breath and relax. I won’t snap your arm for it.

Theodore: Don’t say things like that… Are you ready?

Xue Long: Let me remove my glasses first. That would be a pain to clean up later…

…

Xue Long: Okay. I am ready.

Theodore: Alright! Here I come! Happy Birthday, Xue Long!