#i think i went actually insane writing out my reaction to this chapter but it's just that good sorry bbs!!! 🩷🩷🩷 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

netegf · 2 years ago

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live image of me reading this chapter!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

The whole intention of spending time together away from the High Camp was to avoid the attention and the murmurs of the villagers about them. More importantly, to avoid running into Kaye and his new mate. But the moment their ikrans touched down in the forest, far away from the prying eyes, the pressure of performing got replaced with an uncomfortable tension. And neither Y/N nor Neteyam knew how to close that gap between them. How come weaving mats in a healing tent seemed to be easier and less stressful than taking a stroll in the lush forest of Pandora? “Say something, show her the real Neteyam,” Neteyam muttered to himself, trailing awkwardly behind Y/N.

PLS i feel like sebastian watching eric and ariel during kiss the girl IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET!!!! 🤭🤭🩷🩷🩷

“No, I get beaten up too sometimes… though not as often,” he shrugged again, this time releasing the pressure of performing, as he admitted to a vulnerability that most warriors wouldn’t, “And even when I do, I don’t worry about that stuff.” “Why not?” Y/N’s ears perked up in curiosity. “Well, let’s see…” Neteyam bit back a smile, pretending to be thinking about his answer, “I have a grandmother for Tsahik, my mother used to be the tsakarem, now my sister is a tsakarem,” he paused, hesitating to add, “And my destined mate is training under the guidance of the Tsahik. So, I think I’m in good hands.”

hearing neteyam call us his destined mate is literally making me melt into a big pile of mush!!!! i LOVE the way you write him - he's a little shy and nervous but so charming and sweet and kind and dutiful ... the best man there ever was ... i am so obsessed and in love with your neteyam 😭💖

Since they were practically regulars at the tent, each warrior was used to being treated by the same one or two healers, and everyone found their places right away. Kiri too, without a second thought, was immediately grabbing her older brother and getting to work. Which left Y/N standing in front of Kaye, according to the unspoken habit that had developed over the past months. Kaye had a gash across his chest that needed close inspection, but Y/N couldn’t really move, as if her feet were suddenly glued to the ground, weighed down.

LMAO maybe i'm a messy person but im SO ready for this encounter YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!! 🤭🤭💖💖💖 i feel like im sitting with my face in my hands like 👀 as much as I'd like to see kaye suffer through the awkwardness, KIRI & NETE STEPPING IN LIKE THAT???? yeah!!! i've ascended into the astral plane 🧍🏻‍♀️🙌🏼 🥰 the way they have our back :'))))

“Stop staring,” Y/N mumbled, without looking up at him, while her hands still worked their healing magic. Neteyam shook his head to deny her request, and continued to watch her every move intently. Irritated, she hooked a finger under his chin and forcefully turned his head to the side, so that he was met with the tent wall. He chuckled weakly at the gesture but kept the new position.

now this 😭😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 is my absolute kryptonite!!!! i know i'm literally stopping every other sentence but this is what happens when ur mutuals make!!! amazing things!!! that make ur heart melt !!!! 🥰🥰 im literally GIDDY - the tenderness and intimacy of a gesture like that is so cute n sweet to me - and also the casual dominance???? sticking ur finger under this chin and playfully making him look away???? like i can die in peace goodnight sweet friends 💖💖💖

“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her. “You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “Wherever you want.”

[sobbing] h-he's so !! he's s-so!!!!

i love this line :'))) neteyam take me out of this place pls and thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗💗💗🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and also the fact that he's willing to bend the rules if it's for her???? i love the idea of them being such givers and finally getting to take a break together 😭😭😭😭

Another powerful shove, and Neteyam swiftly toppled his opponent, sending him sprawling onto his back. His spear was aimed threateningly, directly at the vulnerable spot beneath Kaye's throat. Kaye’s eyes widened in fear, as for a fleeting moment, it seemed like Neteyam might not stop. He immediately lowered his ears in a gesture of submission to the future Olo’eyktan. “Neteyam, that’s enough,” Jake's voice cut through, jolting Neteyam back to reality.

“I think it’s safe to say that she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Neteyam’s voice trembled slightly, “If I were you, I would have kept my distance. Just like you've grown accustomed to doing over the years.”

MY FACE READING THESE PARTS

“Neteyam, what the hell happened to you?” Y/N asked, her eyes turning bigger in shock. How long has he been in pain? Why didn’t he come to the healing tent and get it treated? Her mind was flooded with questions. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled, turning around to face her, though his expression was painted with guilt, “Just a few scratches.”

i am in my FEELS!!!!! the genuine concern and panic 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷🩷 the waiting despite her negative experiences with kaye and the fear of being abandoned !!!!! neteyam trying to tend to his own wounds 😭😭😭😭 the genius is killing me!!!

“It is Kaye.”

THE CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am literally so excited to see what happens next im so geeked rn 😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 i'm conflicted because a part of me hates kaye for what he's done, but the other more sensitive part of me is like :oooo (remember the times we had! the times that you and me had! do you guys remember that tiktok sound??? so old lmao)

literally incredible as ALWAYS, i am so so so obsessed 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖 i have been reading this for over an hour because of how much i want to savour and enjoy it <3333 SO HYPE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Chosen by Eywa - Crossing the Bridge - Chapter 4

← chapter 3 | chapter 5 →

contains: arranged marriage, mentions of war and grief, angst, one-sided enemies to lovers, slow burn

wc: 4.2k

chosen by eywa masterlist | general avatar masterlist

a/n: i know i haven't updated in two weeks, but it was only due to the circumstances. like i promised, i will have another chapter out during the week, bc i'm so happy that i got my visa and went to my concert, so stay stuned, babies. i hope you still like this series and will keep reading T.T

It was awkward. The way Neteyam stood in front of the tent, hesitating to walk in to avoid drawing the attention of the other healers. Awkward, how he had to shift his weight from one foot to the other every few minutes because everyone, except her, had caught sight of the future Olo'eyktan at some point. And it took Kiri to finally shove her so forcefully to look up from her task, that Y/N almost fell face first onto the ground.

“Say something, show her the real Neteyam,” Neteyam muttered to himself, trailing awkwardly behind Y/N.

She, immersed in her own thoughts, walked ahead without a clear direction, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her loincloth. Neteyam desperately tried searching for an opening to deliver, and took a few larger strides not to fall behind too far.

“So… how was your day?” he finally mustered the courage to ask.

Y/N paused in her tracks, glancing back at him with a small frown, as if she couldn’t quite make out the words he said. Neteyam stopped walking too, waiting for a response.

“The usual. Lessons,” her voice lacked any enthusiasm that could have encouraged him to go on.

“Good,” Neteyam nodded, trying to offer something else in return, “I’ve had training today.”

“How was it?”

“The usual,” he repeated Y/N’s words with an ironic snicker, recalling his morning, “It’s either getting beaten up by your fake opponents, or by the actual bad guys. Today was the pretend one.”

He shrugged to complete his explanation, something that he had borrowed from his brother whenever he made a joke, as if to give his words a humorous meaning. And though they were quite ghastly, it coaxed a small chuckle out of Y/N. Neteyam’s ears twitched at the sound with a flicker of delightful surprise. He made her smile.

“Well, you look alright for someone who got beaten up,” Y/N gestured at his woundless body, her canines peeking out.

“I’d have to turn that compliment down, since I didn’t get beaten up today,” Neteyam smirked, “You should have seen the other guy.”

“Oh, is that so? That’s always the case with you?”

“Why not?” Y/N’s ears perked up in curiosity.

“Well, let’s see…” Neteyam bit back a smile, pretending to be thinking about his answer, “I have a grandmother for Tsahik, my mother used to be the tsakarem, now my sister is a tsakarem,” he paused, hesitating to add, “And my destined mate is training under the guidance of the Tsahik. So, I think I’m in good hands.”

“Right,” Y/N snorted at the comment, and for a moment Neteyam thought that he might have crossed the line his father kept telling him about, but once she turned away from him to continue walking, he noticed a ghost of a smile on her lips, and that was enough of a confirmation to send his heart into a rapid beat.

Neteyam wasn’t even sure why the reaction made him suddenly giddy but it felt like a small victory he could showcase, if his family expresses any interest in his progress with Y/N. And as he continued to trail behind her, though they mostly remained in silence, the atmosphere seemed to ease.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“It’s okay, Y/N, let’s switch,” Kiri’s tight grip on Y/N’s arm brought her back into reality.

Y/N stood awkwardly a few steps away from the two warriors in front of her - one, who looked at her with guilt but still some lingering warmth in his eyes, and the other - who studied her earnestly, looking for any signs of discomfort, as if he could make them vanish. Kiri, who was only a moment ago treating her brother, was quick to read the situation and attempted her best to resolve it. Everything just unraveled so fast, the way the group of warriors stumbled into the tent for the first time in days, seemingly wounded after an encounter with the sky people.

Neteyam, of course, watched the scene unravel before him, but he couldn’t do much but just contain himself from making a bigger deal out of it for the whole tent to see. His eyes darted around the room, searching for his grandmother, who perhaps could help Kaye instead, but Mo’at was already busy with placing stitches on another warrior’s thigh, and it would take a while before she would be free.

“It’s alright, I can wait for somebody else to -” Kaye cleared his throat, raising his palms in the air, as if to prevent the switch up, but Kiri simply ignored him, already nudging Y/N to the side.

“That looks bad, you need to take care of it,” Neteyam gestured at Kaye’s chest with much discontent, as if acknowledging the truth made him cringe.

Defeated, Kaye stopped disagreeing, the sting of the wound was only getting more painful when he spoke, and to be quite honest, he couldn’t wait. Y/N’s expression remained stone cold, as she watched Kiri lead Kaye to the other side of the tent. Neteyam pressed his lips into a thin line, watching them two, his irritation finally starting to seep away, the farther they got. He was almost caught off guard, when he felt a pair of cold hands against his skin.

Y/N silently kneeled in front of him, starting to treat the small scraps over his arms and shoulders. Her expression was unwavering, as if nothing had happened, and he wondered what she was really thinking about. Was this the first time she saw Kaye after their fight?

“Stop staring,” Y/N mumbled, without looking up at him, while her hands still worked their healing magic.

Neteyam shook his head to deny her request, and continued to watch her every move intently. Irritated, she hooked a finger under his chin and forcefully turned his head to the side, so that he was met with the tent wall. He chuckled weakly at the gesture but kept the new position.

“You can take a breather, you know? I’m not dying, I can wait,” he suggested.

Y/N paused to stare at the side of his face for a moment, giving him a false sense of actually contemplating his offer. Of course, she was going to turn it down, there was no way she could’ve just walked out of the tent. The scolding she’d get from Mo’at wasn’t worth it.

“I can’t,” Y/N pretended to be unbothered, her hands continuing to work over his forearm, where a few smaller cuts were in need of a soothing balm.

“Why not? I won’t mind,” Neteyam turned his face again to look at her.

“Because I can’t leave my destined mate unattended, can I?” Y/N's voice dripped with irony, and she couldn't resist stealing a quick glance at him, searching for a reaction.

Neteyam's frown deepened, caught off guard by the repetition of his own words. Was that a bad slip? Maybe she took what he said in a way where Neteyam only valued Y/N for her skills, rather than her as a person. Disappointed with himself, he shook his head and then gently covered her hands with his own, halting their movements.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it that way," Neteyam's voice was low, and he waited patiently for her to meet his gaze before continuing, "This... it doesn't matter. I was just kidding. Go on, and take a breather if you need one."

“I know, Neteyam, I was only teasing,” the corners of her mouth twitched in amusement.

For a fleeting moment, Y/N allowed herself to forget that the love of her life was sitting and watching her from across the room. It felt exhilarating to indulge in the playful banter, teasing Neteyam and pretending that they were a blissful couple, free from the weight of their responsibilities.

“You’re teasing,” he breathed out with relief, “Oh… good.”

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes, “And obviously I can’t just take a break right now. Your grandmother will kill me.”

As Y/N returned to tending his scrapes and cuts, Neteyam bit his cheek, thinking for a moment. A sudden surge of courage coursed through him, and he made a decision, quickly standing up and pulling her gently to her feet. His hand found hers, and the movement surely caught the attention of those around them but Neteyam only shrugged, his eyes on Y/N. She was confused, and she couldn't help but glance nervously at Kaye, who had been watching the whole interaction with unease.

“Let’s go,” Neteyam’s thick-accented voice grabbed her attention once more, and without waiting for an answer, he was already walking out of the tent, leading her by the hand with him.

Y/N had little time to react, on the way out, her eyes caught a sight of Mo’at, who shook her head at the interruption and returned back to her task.

“Neteyam,” Y/N hissed embarrassed, but his grip on her, though gentle, remained unmoving.

“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her.

“You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched up in confusion.

“Wherever you want.”

Neteyam was never one to protest the rules. Lo’ak liked to tease him about it and call him a “goody-two-shoes,” but Neteyam was too focused on excelling rather than getting offended by his brother’s weak insults. But he also never had enough motivation to disobey. Breaking the rules only brought trouble, and after careful consideration, Neteyam had never deemed it worthwhile. But here, now, as he led Y/N away from her responsibilities to offer her a moment of peace, he decided that it was for a good reason. That it wouldn’t matter if his grandmother got mad at them and he would take the blame anyway, since he initiated it. But if it meant that she didn’t have to keep working while her past lover gawked at her, then maybe it was worth it.

When they were finally away from the tent, Y/N stood right in front of him, their hands still intertwined. Despite trying to stare down at his much bigger frame with disapproval, there were traces of gratitude in her eyes. Her tail swished with excitement, thinking of how great it felt to abandon her day’s duties and just be left alone.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice carrying an earnest tone.

"No need to thank me," Neteyam squeezed her hand, "My mother always reminds me that those who care of others also deserve care in return. I tend to forget it at times, but she's right."

He tugged at her hand once more, his gaze already wandering off to somewhere else. Without hesitation, Y/N willingly trailed behind him along the narrow path that meandered through the Hallelujah Mountains. Neteyam's grasp on her hand remained firm all throughout, neither of them sure if it was to guide her safely or simply to reassure her with his presence.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Walks with Neteyam had shifted from being an obligation to somewhat of an entertainment. They still didn’t speak much, finding peace in the quiet companionship, as they wandered through the forest, away from the eyes of the clan. In those moments, Y/N stopped feeling the pressure of pretending to be happy about her impending union with the future chief, while Neteyam was happy to reconnect with the forest. Since the relocation of the clan to the Hallelujah Mountains, his time in the forest was limited to missions or overseeing his siblings, never to revisiting his past and his roots.

And while to Y/N, this relationship had evolved into a strong foundation for friendship, Neteyam struggled with his growing protectiveness over her. It felt like she might crumble if he wasn't there to watch over, and the mere mention of her past could be her breaking point. These thoughts consumed Neteyam's restless mind, keeping him awake at night. Alongside with them, his frustration towards Kaye and the lack of respect, fueled his anger, as he delivered another forceful hit to his pretend opponent. Was it genuine protectiveness he harbored for Y/N, or was it simply his frustration with Kaye's behavior? Neteyam felt like a hypocrite.

The future chief groaned in frustration, delivering another calculated strike, disarming his opponent, Kaye. But his anger and irritation were blinding, making Neteyam lose his focus, not necessarily in his movements but within the depths of his mind. He couldn’t stop the attacks.

Kaye fell into his parents’ trap and mated with a woman of their choosing. Yet, he seemed content with their decision and he had no trouble leaving Y/N behind. Did he ever even love her, or was he simply leading her on all that time? Either way, Kaye had moved on, and Neteyam had to be the one who watched Y/N try to deal with the fact.

“Neteyam, that’s enough,” Jake's voice cut through, jolting Neteyam back to reality.

With an almost aggressive shake of a head, as if trying to force away the nagging thoughts, Neteyam took a step back and lowered his spear. The fight was clearly over and he was the winner, but it barely even felt like a victory.

Neteyam exchanged a look with his father, who was confused with his son’s behavior. To Jake, Neteyam was one of his best warriors, always in control of his emotions and precise with his movements, and it was rare that he got to witness him being overtaken with anger. With a loud sigh, Neteyam still complied with the unspoken rule within the camp and extended his hand to his opponent to pull him to his feet.

Oblivious to the fact that the fight was twice as violent because Neteyam had developed a personal vendetta against him, or perhaps he only chose to be ignorant of it, Kaye offered a small, appreciative smile in response to the extended hand, accepting the help. He dusted off his back and thighs, and before Neteyam could sign a goodbye and leave, Kaye quickly moved to stand in his way.

“I need to talk to Y/N,” he announced, forcing Neteyam to stop in his tracks, “You must see her, right?”

Neteyam clenched his jaw, struggling to contain the anger that still hasn’t died down from the fight. Just when he started to get the things moving for himself and Y/N, just when it seemed like Kaye wouldn’t hurt her anymore, he was suddenly wanting to talk to her? She wouldn’t hide if she wanted to see Kaye, would she?

“Ouch, I guess I deserved that,” Kaye winced at the comment, “Listen, I am truly sorry for the way things turned out but I never meant to hurt her. I just want to apologize.”

Neteyam simply shook his head, indicating that the explanation fell short of convincing him. If Kaye wanted to speak to Y/N, it would only be on her terms, Neteyam certainly wasn’t going to take part in helping him.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Y/N sat in front of the healing tent in silence, the small wrinkle in between her eyebrows was turning deeper within each passing minute. She was annoyed with Neteyam, who didn’t show up, but mostly she was annoyed with herself for still being there and waiting for him. Her lesson had ended long ago, their usual routine of going for a walk right after was simply abandoned, and Neteyam was nowhere to be found. She knew that he came home a few hours ago, when she heard the shouts of the warriors, and some even came in for a check-up at the tent. So, if he was safe, it puzzled her why he hadn't come. Did he seize an opportunity and forget to warn her not to wait?

She shouldn’t be annoyed though. Wasn’t this exactly what she wished for? To spend less time with him, to be left alone. But it didn’t feel like a win at all, just a let-down. The times when Kaye would sometimes stand her up floated her mind with insecurity. Though it didn’t happen often, she got hurt deeply every time. No amount of apologies from Kaye could ever help her overcome the fear of him simply not showing up one day and giving up on her completely.

Shaking her head, disappointed with herself for wasting time, she stood up, ready to leave. To her surprise, just as she rose, Neteyam appeared right in front of her.

"You waited," he uttered softly, a mix of confusion and gratitude in his voice.

“You made me wait,” she retorted, her irritation impossible to hide as her eyes bore into his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Neteyam raised his palms in the air, offering a defeat.

And that’s when Y/N noticed it. Before she could unleash the angry words she had rehearsed in her mind for the past hour, or fully grasp the tinge of pain in his voice, her eyes caught sight of something. A streak of red smeared across Neteyam's forearms, clumsily wiped but not enough to be completely rid of. Almost as if he tried taking care of it himself and failed miserably. Her amber eyes swiftly traced the path of the color, trailing from his ribcage and vanishing around his body, and without a word she circled him, to find his back, covered in awkwardly arranged leaves. She guessed that Neteyam had placed them himself, since some of the wounds were only partially covered, and there was dried off blood all over his skin.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, turning around to face her, though his expression was painted with guilt, “Just a few scratches.”

“These are not just scratches, they look horrible,” Y/N gestured at him once more, “Why didn’t you come to your grandmother? You came home hours ago, no?”

Neteyam flinched at her words. They held the truth, but he didn't want to admit it. There was something embarrassing about getting that many wounds on his back. It meant he hadn't noticed the enemy behind him, which also signified his lack of attentiveness. But how could he pay attention when his whole reality was shifting around him? Neteyam took a step away from her, trying to force a small smile.

“Since you had to wait for so long, let’s go on that walk now, hm? I’ll try to make it up to you,” he tried nonchalantly.

But Y/N was quick to close the distance between him. She grasped his hand and without a word pulled him into the healing tent. Once inside, she gestured for Neteyam to take a seat on one of the rarely used old wooden chairs, thinking that being on her feet would be more convenient when treating his back.

“Seriously, I am okay, we can still go on that walk,” Neteyam tried to reason, but she was already hissing at him in annoyance to stop talking.

His ears lowered in defeat, which he desperately didn’t want to accept, but also secretly had craved. Because even though Neteyam was used to being the one taking care of others, it felt like a sun on his skin, knowing that somebody else was there for him. And he could tell she was mad just by the way she treated him with silence, but the anger was coming from a place of caring.

The wounds he bore were throbbing with pain, located in a difficult-to-reach place. Neteyam hadn't intended to be late; it simply took him longer than expected to dress his injuries. Yet, his heart fluttered with a mixture of relief and gratitude when he spotted Y/N still seated in front of the healing tent, patiently waiting for him. She could have easily left hours ago, so why did she choose to stay?

“You have a whole family of healers, why didn’t you just ask them for help? Why didn’t you ask me?” Y/N sighed.

Neteyam's ears twitched at the touch, a subtle response to the gentleness of her fingers on his back. Soon, the leaf bandages he had grown weary of were being carefully removed, and as she worked, a wave of empathy flowed through her, her tone turning into a softer, more understanding one.

“I know that there is some kind of pride that comes with being the Olo’eyktan’s son, and also this pressure of being perfect and never showing your vulnerabilities. But when you get hurt, Neteyam, none of it should matter.”

“I know, you’re right,” Neteyam admitted guiltily, hanging his head, “I just…”

Y/N tsksed at the incomplete explanation with discontent, taking off the last bandage. Now, fully exposed, Neteyam’s back was covered in multiple gashes arranged at sharp angles around his spine. Fortunately, they hadn't pierced deep enough to cause nerve damage, which meant that Neteyam was quick to react. A damp cloth grazed his skin as Y/N gently wiped away the brown stains of the dried off blood.

“Whether we like it or not, we are a team now,” she continued after a pause, “So you can rely on me.”

He nodded, even though he couldn't see her face. There was a sincerity in her words, something different from before. It didn't feel like mere obligation; it felt like she genuinely meant it, like she truly wanted him to rely on her.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

His earpiece suddenly crackled to life, interrupting the moment, and Neteyam immediately tensed up at the sound of his father’s worried voice. He sat up, and pressed a finger to his wired necklace, speaking into it.

“I am safe, dad, what happened?” Neteyam questioned.

Worried, and unable to hear Jake’s voice on the other end, Y/N quickly came in front of Neteyam, searching his face for clues of what was happening. The future Olo’eyktan seemed to grow more concerned, as he remained quiet to hear his father.

“What is it?” Y/N whispered impatiently, and then she felt it.

Y/N's stomach plummeted as she observed the transformation of Neteyam's expression. What was initially concern now gave way to a haunting mix of guilt and remorse. It was as if he carried the weight of something deeply troubling, something that was unfixable, probably too difficult to say out loud.

“How many of them?” Neteyam spoke again, his eyes still glued to Y/N’s, “And who exactly got shot?”

It felt like the world around her came to a stop, as in these seconds of waiting, Y/N had imagined hundreds of scenarios running through her head. And it could be anything, but the way Neteyam rose to his feet in a hurry, she feared that the worst one was coming to life.

“Is it him?” Y/N’s voice cracked, and Neteyam nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“It is Kaye.”

a/n: once again, i am so hopeful that people still care about this series, even though it took me two weeks to upload a new chapter. please let me know how you feel about this. i rushed with the proofreading, so i'm sorry if there are too many mistakes or repetitions

♡ taglist ♡ : @kiri-tuk @samiiistarss @afro-hispwriter @iwantjaketosullyme @thexplosivegirl @peachinsomniac @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @koala-wonderland @sakura-onesan @dimplesxx @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @theycallmesia @crazy4books1 @empiricsad @summertimedepression @vihelm @cleverzonkwombatsludge @ducks118 @couragemydearheart @xstarsmvxz @jkeluv @qtkat @marsbars09 @buckysleftarm420 @soleilmoon @blueslxt-primary @kavyaas-world @books-for-summer @tojis-discord-kitten @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @jackiehollanderr @totesnothere04

#recs #i think i went actually insane writing out my reaction to this chapter but it's just that good sorry bbs!!! 🩷🩷🩷

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no1whippedcreamenjoyer · 3 months ago

Note

Yandere smilk hcs?

SLAMS MY HANDS DOWN

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS

rambling below

Preface, My base HCs for Smilk are that he has BPD and CPTSD from the horrors

So as all who have read 'Never Left my Sight' know, my personal yandere Smilk went Batshit Insane from Isolation- and fell in love with Pure Vanilla solely through watching him through the souljam.

So this starts their relationship off REALLY BAD

Smilk's entire perception of PV is based on a parasocial relationship. It's never interracted with PV but expects him to react a certain way- as if they'd been friends for a long time

that's why at the end of 'never left my sight' his ass splits so hard on PV he wants to kill him

But let's talk yandere shit I think it's done before and after getting out of mind prison:

-It had a shitton of time, and nothing to do, and access to materials since the witches keep throwing garbage into the other side of the moon (HORRIFYING FAILED EXPERIMENTS)

So;

Throughout the Millenia it's been watching Pure Vanilla, it's been writing love poems, plays, songs, books, even sewing Pure Vanilla clothes

I had a scene planned where they're about to do the do and Smilk keeps trying to pick a Lingerie set for PV to wear

PV thinks this is so funny because when would it have taken the time to buy him so much lingerie while it's only had a body for like 6 months.

Shadow Milk comments that of course it didn't have time- it sewed the set he's wearing about a century ago.

Cue Pure Vanilla being fucking horrified that Shadow Milk has thought of him like THAT for at least over a century- taking a deep breath- forgiving it- and saying "I had no idea you were so good at fashion design!" (They'll talk about that LATER)

- My personal opinion for what happened in Chapter 8 with Shadow Milk realizing he wants Pure Vanilla, not just the souljam

is that, upon interracting with the Real Pure Vanilla, not the version in its head. It realized it loved the actual, genuine, flesh and blood Pure Vanilla so much more than the image watching him for a millenia put in its head

Pure Vanilla has reactions as TR that he's Never Had while Shadow Milk was watching him. It's unexpected, it's exciting, It's Incredibly Intimate to Shadow Milk that he can pull reactions from Pure Vanilla that no one else must have ever seen!

- Despite having actually risked PV crumbling a bunch of times, Shadow Milk is incredibly tender when it comes to intimacy.

Even if it wants to hurt PV, it wouldn't be any fun if PV weren't enjoying it- or was at least Into It!

- Shadow Milk watches Pure Vanilla sleep A LOT.

If it hasn't pulled Pure Vanilla into a nightmare, it's probably somewhere in his room. It loves taking in how vulnerable he looks- how that vulnerability is only its own to see.

- Shadow Milk genuinely loves Pure Vanilla, but it's never experienced anything like that before. It was Created to be a tool for the witches. It was never Supposed to be a real person. It doesn't know HOW to be normal. And witches forbid it ever Say anything to Pure Vanilla about that.

#shadowvanilla #pureshadow #puremilk #vanilla milkshake #shadow milk cookie #crk #headcanons #yandere #fics #hcs

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thebadjoe · 8 months ago

Text

BAD JOE'S DRDT CH.2 CRIME SOLVING THEORY PART 6

Wow! It's been a long while, but it's finally here! DRDT Chapter 2 is back with part 2 starting since more than a week ago!

...Oh? What's that? There's some reveals that is damaging my theory and I should get to fixing? Awwww, man.... what a drag.... I am so doomed... nanchatte!

Anyways, hi! It's me, the dude who makes-overly-complex-and-ridiculously-long-theories-in-the-hopes-of-trying-to-solve-the-murder-case-that-not-many-people-agree-with-for-more-reasons-than-my-theory's-word-count. (Okay, the last part about the reasons is probably not true... yet!)

I am back yet again with some more updates regarding my theory.

NOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!! PLEASE, I DON'T WANNA READ ANOTHER GODDAMN DICTIONARY LENGTH OF A THEORY POST!!!!

Woah! Calm down, imaginary self that is under the impression that some people were way too overwhelmed by my latest part of the theory post! You have nothing to worry about!

It would be silly of me to rewrite all of it again with some small changes. I will of course link up my part 5 later as source of reference, but really, all I'm gonna be doing here today is point out the newest problems with my theory ever since episode 12 and 13 and give my personal thoughts on those.

Also, to make sure that people hasn't forgotten what I've been all about since the beginning, I will do a short recap of my theory, displaying only what's most relevant to the murder case.

Besides, ain't no way I'm writing something this long ever again (except for maybe trying to solve the future chapters, but that's a matter for the far future).

With that said, I feel obliged to point out that this is spoilers for the fangan Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2, up until episode 13.

With that out of the way, let's get to it!

Hey look! I still remember how to use that show more button again, hurray! (I'm really sorry again to @1moreff-creator and everyone else who's been reading my very first posts last year that didn't have a show more button)

So, first things first, I'd like to apologize in advance because as amazing the episode 12 and 13 were, I will not be doing a reaction post of said episodes. I think I'm just too lazy to actually display my whole stream of consciousness through two whole videos and I think it is safe to say that practically all of us had a very similar reaction to those episodes.

What was the common reaction, you may ask? Well, it's simple, really... it went something like... OMG, THIS IS SO FUCKING HYPE! OMG!!! THAT WAS SO INSANE!!! THE DRAMA!!! DAVID BEING DAVID!!! THE LEVI REVEAL!!! THE FLASHBACK PART 2 SCENE!!! OMG, WHAT IS EDEN DOING?!! AREI IS HOLDING DAVID'S HANDS?! WE'RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THE MURDER METHODS?!?! OMG, SO GOOD!!!

...right? Yeah! I thought so! :D

Although I may not be showing proper and precise reactions to these episodes, if you're interested, I'd definitly recommend reading @venus-is-thinking 's, reactions on episode 12 and episode 13, @1moreff-creator 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13 and @accirax 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13. They're pretty good reads (and no, I'm not just saying this because they all believe that Eden is the culprit, I swear!).

And for those who are totally blind or new to my shenanigans, yes, I do believe that Eden is the culprit behind this murder case.

There is indeed a few problems that arose ever since the latest episodes, so to make sure that everyone is up to speed with what I'm gonna be talking about, I'm now going to be doing a short recap of the events, according to me.

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THE RECAP

DAY 1 : The day where everyone receives their mixed up secrets and explore the second floor. DAY 2 : The day where the attempted murder on Ace happened. DAY 3 : The day where Whit suggests David to chill for the evening in the relaxation room. DAY 4 : The day (morning) of the body discovery announcement.

Ever since Arei bullied Eden who then cried and exited the playground on DAY 2, that was what triggered Eden to decide to commit murder for the sake of escaping this hellish killing game. Knowing that her secret is that she kissed a girl, I deduced that she's probably trying to escape because she misses her beloved dearly.

So while she was off screen during most of that day, she spent time making plans for the murder set up and narrative, which is why she decided to share Arturo's secret (as seen in the flashback).

During the evening of DAY 2, Ace was working out in the gym, then he hears a conversation happening between David and Arei in the relax room. The conversation that Ace was quietly listening to did not happen in the evening of DAY 3, but rather the evening of DAY 2. Ace lied about when he was listening to that conversation.

At some point during the conversation or perhaps even after the conversation, Eden sneaks up on Ace and knocks him out with the turpentine that anyone could've gotten access to that day. Ace is Eden's chosen murder victim.

Sometime later, Eden eitheir used a letter or called out Arei's name to lure her into the playground or somewhere close to knock her unconscious with that very same turpentine. She then moves Arei's body into the relaxation room to lock her up inside because of the specific nighttime rules regarding that room.

Eden also brought old spares of clothing to cover Arei's body to make sure she doesn't get stained with starch from the water misting formula from the relaxation room.

During the night of DAY 2, she prepares the murder mechanism in the gym with some needed tools from the storage room and some wire that she took out from possibly a grandfather clock that she may have in her dorm. I deduced it as such because of Whit's description of everyone's dorms being suited to their needs.

I also deduced that there is actually a switch to turn on and off the fans, which is important since the attempted murder involved the fans. As Eden finished setting it up, as she was about to clear up with evidence, she heard someone using the elevator.

She hid in the dress up room, then Nico enters the second floor, looking for Ace to kill him. As Nico explores the gym, Teruko shortly enters the elevator to get to the second floor as well.

Teruko, looking for her spares, runs into Eden, who was hidden in the dress up room. After some talk, they heard a loud noise coming from the gym, which they both take a look inside.

Upon seeing this mess of a crime, Eden realised that her murder plan failed and that she needs to come up with a plan B really quick. So while she is taking time to "process this emotionally", Teruko was investigating.

Eden finally comes up with a plan B and figured that she needed to get her hands on the roll of tape ASAP. She managed to do so with a sleight of hand when Ace "suddenly wakes up", knocking Eden out of the way, distracting Teruko in the process.

Later that night, Eden proceeds with her plan B by making a murder mechanism in the playground. She also took the rope from the storage room. Once it's all properly set up, all's left was waiting for the relaxation to unlock at 8:00 AM on DAY 3.

In the morning of DAY 3, she retrieves Arei's unconscious body and proceeds with murdering Arei. Then, she proceeds to conceal the body somewhat behind the curtains in the relaxation room. She also grabs her glove, her monopad and the necessary materials in the dress up room for the next step of her plan.

She spends the rest of the morning to prepare her disguise trick. Then during lunchtime, Eden spends a short amount of time disguised as Arei to hide the actual time of death.

Once lunchtime is over, she returns to eitheir her or Arei's dorm to remove the disguise, spend time cleaning up, relax, power nap, etc. Then, during the evening of DAY 3, she spends time with Hu to fabricate her perfect alibi.

Later that evening, David explores the relaxation room. That's when he notices something wrong with the room and becomes the first person to discover Arei's dead body.

For some personal reasons, David brings the body back into the playground and hangs it by the swingset. Eitheir he or Eden (earlier in the morning) balls up the clothes and hides it in the closet of the dress-up room. Then, in the morning of DAY 4, David grabs everyone's attention to the fact that Arei is missing right before the secrets reveal. Then fast forward a bit, then we get the BDA of Arei

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And there ya go, that's my recap regarding how I believe the murder case happened. Pretty short, eh?

HELL NO!!! THAT WAS STILL PRETTY LONG!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Eh... I guess I couldn't really make it that shorter, my bad! If I tried to make it any shorter than that, it would've been extremely confusing.

Ah! Speaking of which, if you're confused in the sense that it feels like none of this should work at all, and there's a lot of contradictions and whatnot, then I would heavily recommend reading my actual theory post. I am not going to spend time refuting with people in the comments about points I've already pointed out in my previous post.

However, if there are things that are unclear to you, things that you do not understand and want to know what I'm talking about, please, feel free to ask away! I will help in any way I can.

With that out the way, I guess I can now start with pointing out the pr-

HAH! THERE IS A MAJOR ISSUE WITH YOUR THEORY!!! BASED ON EPISODE 12, THE MURDER COULD'VE ONLY HAPPENED IN THE MORNING OF DAY 4 BECAUSE OF THE BODY SWING! YOU'RE DONE FOR!

Ah... yeah... that! Of course! That's not a problem!

!!!

Let's talk about it first, shall we? :D

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AREI'S BODY SWING : CONFIRMED TIME OF DEATH???

I'd like to come clean with something, everyone. Ever since I came up with the theory that murder happened at a totally unexpected time, there was something that was constantly bothering me.

That's right, I was very well aware of the body swing happening during the BDA ever since the beginning.

HUH?! Then all this time, you wrote all of this despite knowing that?!

Correct! I'm really sorry about that, but please, understand that I had a very good reason for it. For you see... everytime I saw it, I was often under the impression that this was simply an eerie effect / animation, to give a more dramatic intensity towards the BDA, without meaning anything. I legit thought it could be a thing, I swear!

But despite all that... I couldn't help but feel uneasy about it. Deep down, I felt like that maybe there was an actual meaning to it, maybe it was an actual clue that I shouldn't disregard. But I figured that because of my theory beliefs, then it would be rather unlikely that it would be used as evidence.

But alas, I was wrong about that. The body swing plays a very important rule in determining what happened in this murder case. I cannot deny that fact, especially since Teruko brought it up, plain as day. Despite it seeming like it damages my theory, I'm thankful that the dev finally cleared that little doubt I had since then.

Then you admit it, the murder actually happened in the mor-

Oh, not so fast! Let's not jump to conclusions just yet, alright? Arei's body swinging by the swing set doesn't quite exactly prove that the murder occured during the morning of DAY 4. The body swing only proves that someone messed with the body by the swingset.

W-What?! That doesn't make sense! The murder clearly happened in the morning of DAY 4!

Nuh-uh, not quite. You believe it clearly happened in the morning because that's what the cast concluded on top of Charles pointing out that the culprit could've clearly fake the time of death by saving the fishes for later.

But unless we have decisive evidence that the murder happened in the morning, we can't be 100% sure that the murder happened in the morning of DAY 4.

From the looks of it, you just seem very desperate, if you ask me.

At first, when episode 12 released, I kind of was... up until I figured out a fairly logical solution to it. That's right! I have a way to explain who made the body swing and why.

You're not going to suggest that David did all of what he supposedly did in the evening of DAY 3, but instead in the morning of DAY 4, right?!

Nope! Not at all. Disregarding the facts that it wouldn't really make sense and that he'd have to move the body out of the relax room anyways before nighttime (because of the water misting rules), David actually has an alibi in the morning of DAY 4.

(As does Veronika too as she was with them in the cafeteria)

With all of these reasons mentioned above, as much as I initially wanted to make it somehow possible that David came back to the crime scene to mess with the body somehow, it just isn't possible.

So instead, someone else did it.

Then out with it already, you staller! Who is it?!

There is only one possible candidate that would make the most sense in that scenario : Eden. Eden is the person who messed with Arei's body in the morning of DAY 4.

WHHAAAAT?!?! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! THAT'S SO RISKY!

That's what I initially thought at first, not gonna lie. But then... something hit me : Eden doesn't have an alibi for the morning of DAY 4 eitheir.

I thought that there would be absolutely no need for Eden to come back to the crime scene a certain short amount of time before the BDA, so instead, I needed to reverse my way of thinking.

What could she possibly aim to do that would prompt her to come back to the crime scene last minute?

Considering the facts (based on my theory, mind you) that she killed Arei in the morning of DAY 3, hid the body somewhere in the relaxation room, built up an evening to night alibi with Hu and that David was the first person to discover it during the evening, there is a simple explanation behind it.

Arei's BDA was meant to be triggered much earlier than the morning of DAY 4. The original intent behind this whole scheme was to have the BDA trigger during the evening of DAY 3.

That doesn't make sense!

No, that's wrong! It does make a whole lot of sense. Think about it. Let's say you were a participant in this killing game and were in David's shoes during the evening of DAY 3... you come across a dead body in the relaxation, what would you do?

!!!

That's right, you wouldn't just mess with the body and move it somewhere else, now would you? Aside from freaking out, the most natural and human thing to do would be to gather help.

If it were anyone else than David who discovered the body in that exact scenario, they would cry out for help, tell everyone that they found Arei dead inside the relaxation room, which would then result in a body discovery announcement.

But what if the person who found the body were to personally ask for Hu's and Eden's help, wouldn't that ruin her plan since it wouldn't trigger the BDA?

There's an easy solution to that. Eden could've simply decided to find more people to share the news to meet up with the corpse. This wouldn't ruin her plan in the slightest.

Quite the opposite, actually. If the body were to be discovered and trigger the BDA during the evening, it would solidify her air tight alibi even further as she wouldn't have any possible timeframe to commit murder in the evening as she was spending time with her friend Hu.

Ugh, so what? It didn't really happen anyways because of David being David! That doesn't change anything!

Actually, it does change things considerably. If you put yourself in the culprit's perspective where the whole intent was to have the body discovery happen in the evening of DAY 3 and that during the whole night, nothing happened, you would certainly find that very strange.

The culprit would be clearly confused, yet really curious to find out what even happened.

Couldn't she have taken a look much later during the night?

Perhaps, but she figured it would've been pointless. The reason why is that if she thought that nobody found the body, then the body would've still remained hidden in the relaxation room which would then be currently locked away because of the water misting.

So instead of checking it out during the late night of DAY 3, Eden decided to investigate during the very early morning of DAY 4, sometime past 7:30 AM.

But the relaxation room is still locked up until 8:00 AM! Why not wait until then?

It's simple! She just wanted to be there a little bit in advance to make sure she can enter the room as early as possible. And so... while she is waiting for the relaxation room to unlock, she probably figured that she should take a look around the other rooms, why not?

And thus, that leads to Eden finding the body being hung by the swingset, alongside fishes scattered around the floor for some reason.

To reconfirm, I still believe that David is the first person who discovered Arei's dead body in the relaxation room and that he's responsible for hanging her body alongside placing those fishes by the playground.

Okay, Eden discovers that the body has been moved to the playground? What now? Everything's already in place, so what could she possibly do with the dead body?

Well, since the BDA was not triggered on the evening of DAY 3, she figured that she may as well put Arei's monopad back into the corpse's pockets.

But what about her missing glove? Why didn't she return that as well if she wanted to return her monopad?

That's a good point, that's for sure. But there are two easy fixes to this counter argument. First one being that she simply forgot about the gloves. No one's really perfect, after all. She was so concerned about the body not being discovered yet that this completly slipped her mind.

The second fix would be that it would've been way too risky to try to retrieve the glove. Maybe initially, Eden, after she removed her disguise, she placed the clothes and the glove back into Arei's dorm. So if she wanted to retrieve the glove, she'd have to return to Arei's room, unlocking it with a monopad that isn't her own.

Would she really risk that again after making this much progress without getting caught so far? Like imagine if she tried to take that risk one last time only to get caught, that would be quite the devastating result, wouldn't it?

Ok, fine. Nevermind the gloves. Is that all she did?

Pretty much, yeah. She returned the monopad back into her pockets, which moved the body somewhat.

...

Well, it's also possible that she tripped and moved the body even more by accident. Or perhaps she felt like she was in such a hurry to avoid getting found out that she accidently bumped into Arei's dead body.

...Are you kidding me? There's no way that's gonna be enough to move the body for this long!

Well... maybe her being there at exactly 7:30 AM is not the exact time. She could've been there a couple minutes before 8:00 AM, which could make this possible.

But that's ridiculous! There's no way Eden is strong enough to make the body swing that way. To make the body swing for a good amount of time, she'd need more than just accidently bumping into the body! It needs considerable force.

And I'll stop you there. If you've read my last theory post, you should know by now that I'm a firm believer that because it's a work of fiction, anything that seems unlikely can become possible.

The main thing we should take from Arei's body swinging during the BDA is that at some point in time during the morning, someone messed with the body, proving that someone was there during the morning of DAY 4.

And there you go, that's my whole explanation as to how Arei's body was swinging during the BDA that doesn't necessarily mean that the murder occured during that exact morning.

If you're not quite convinced yet, there is a certain part of my theory that begins to make a lot more logical sense with this solution in mind. Take a look at this!

Thanks to the solution I suggested, these two lines become a lot more fitting to my updated theory. Here's why!

If Eden were to explore and find the body hanging by the swing set during the morning of DAY 4, she would know that at least 1 person found the body, but not who exactly.

Because of Whit's silly comment, Eden immediatly thought of the body in the playground and jumped to the worst conclusion : Whit is the person who found the body first.

So if they were to open the door to the playground, the BDA would not trigger since Eden is the culprit. So in a moment of panic, Eden uttered : "Teruko, wait--".

It is still pretty much the same as what I had in mind according to the previous part of my theory post, except that it works a whole lot better now that Eden personally saw the actual state of the dead body in the morning of DAY 4.

So there you have it. This seemingly major problem for my theory actually turned out to be very beneficial for my theory after all! Ah, the joys of making logical sounding deductions! My theory should be saf-

HAH! YOU THINK YOUR THEORY IS SAFE FROM HARM YET?! WRONG!!!! IN EPISODE 13, THEY ACTUALLY SHOWED HOW THE MURDER MECHANISM WORKED! NOT ONLY IS EDEN TOO WEAK TO OPERATE IT, BUT THEY PUT FISH WATER INSIDE THOSE JUGS! SINCE THEY REVEALED THAT MURDER METHOD, IT HAS TO BE THE SOLUTION. YOUR THEORY IS RUINED! GOOD DAY SIR!

Oh, you mean this?

Oh no, this murder mechanism is different from mine and this one requires a certain amount of strength that Eden possibly doesn't have! And the fishes! Since they brought it up, then there's no way my theory can work! Whatever shall I do??? It's joever.... just kidding!

I don't mean to alarm you guys, but the current proposed murder mechanism idea actually has flaws. Let's talk some more about the murder mechanism in the playground, shall we? :)

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TERUKO'S CURRENT MURDER MECHANISM IDEA : RIGHT OR WRONG???

Before I get into it, I'd like to remind everyone that just because we've been shown how the murder may have been done for the first time means that's how it actually happened. Let's not forget that they spent so much time arguing and discussing about the secrets that they barely ever talked about the murder case in itself.

So if anything, episode 13 is practically just them beginning their actual work! Mistakes are bound to happen. We shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Besides, there is actually a problem with this murder mechanism.

I'll present it to you in pictures to show you what I'm talking about.

The taped up wrists. This was practically the decisive proof that this wasn't a suicide nor could it have been an assisted suicide. So now that they've introduced a murder mechanism in an actual episode... what's actually the point of the taped wrists in that scenario?

If the culprit used exactly this kind of murder mechanism, then there would be absolutely no need to tape up her wrists together.

Maybe it was to stop Arei from trying to struggle?

Nope. If that was the case, we would've seen much more signs of struggle coming from Arei. There may be scuffs on the ground, but there's absolutely no other form of injury on Arei aside from her broken neck.

Well, I saw a theory where the accomplice was Levi and he could've easily overpower her!

(I believe that was something that @1moreff-creator theorized, if I recall? At least, that was the theory pre part 2)

It used to be borderline possible, but not this time anymore! Thanks to the first two episodes of part 2 of chapter 2, it seems extremely unlikely that Levi wanted to work with the culprit as an accomplice.

Not only because of what we find out regarding his secret, what kind of character he is, but also because of something he said in episode 12.

I don't know about you, but this doesn't look like something an accomplice would say at all, right? If the culprit was someone who didn't have an alibi in the evening, it would be a different story, but the most fitting theory for having Levi work as an accomplice is to work for Eden, who happens to have an alibi in the evening as you already know.

So since we gotta take Levi out of the equation, then we don't really have much other possible candidates who could've easily overpower Arei to the point where taping up her wrists would've helped better on that regard.

Therefore, the most logical solution would be that Arei was knocked unconscious with the turpentine. But since that's the most likely scenario, then what's up with the taped wrists?

If the taped wrists weren't used to prevent any remote chance for Arei to try to get out of this situation, then it must've been used as part of the murder mechanism.

But since the murder mechanism as shown by Teruko doesn't explain the taped up wrists whatsoever, then this becomes a discrepancy. Therefore, that can't be quite the correct answer to solving the how this murder mechanism works.

And since this murder mechanism idea is flawed, it also means that there's no guarantee that the jugs contained fish water inside, they could've simply gathered water somewhere else or perhaps there jugs were already filled with clean water to begin with.

Because this murder mechanism idea is flawed, there's no guarantee that the culprit used this method which required some unknown amount of strength, but an amount of strength regardless (unless the author wants to pass it off as anyone could've done it since it's easier to do it by spinning it, I'm not sure).

Because of that flaw, my theory isn't affected by the murder mechanism idea that Teruko suggested since there is no guarantee that this is the correct answer.

So yeah, there's no problem whatsoever! Also, as far as I'm aware, since the release of the latest episodes, I have a very logically sound reason to explain the taped up wrists as shown in part 5 of my theory.

To give you a small reminder, it was for something like this!

(Whole murder mechanism not properly shown in the drawing because I'm lazy as heck, but just take a close attention to the arms)

By having Arei's arms go between the pillars of the seasaw, you can make it so that she can't get out of it by taping her wrists together, which plays an important role in the murder mechanism. Not going to elaborate further, if you want to know more, you gotta read the big post right there!

And there you have it! Those were the two main concerns that could've negatively affect my theory, but fortunately for me, it doesn't. In fact, it supports it even more than before.

Especially regarding the David / Arei conversation flashback (shown from David's memory's perspective). This conversation told us a lot more between these two, do you know what that means?

That's right! It means that Ace is full of shit! There's no way he didn't hear anything else. The only way he could've not hear anything else is if he gets snuck up from behind and gets knocked out with the turpentine, but it could've easily simply been Ace witholding that information to make David look more suspicious.

Therefore, if he lied about this, he could've also easily lied about when he actually overheard that conversation for his own selfish gains!

There's also a few couple other points that could further support my theory, but I don't feel like going over every single little detail as of now. I mainly wanted to solve these two issues and nothing else.

So, DRDTers, I need to ask you the following : Do you still believe that I am delusional with this overly complex theory of mine? :)

Thanks for reading another one of my big posts, as usual!

Edit : Go read the finale of my theory next, it's worth it!

#drdt #drdt spoilers #drdt theory #drdt solve #danganronpa despair time #I can't believe I'm doing this again #Can't wait to see what's gonna happen in episode 14 #I remain undaunted

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justanotherpersonsuniverse · 20 days ago

Note

Ok so I didn’t see that you’d posted til the 17th, which is atrocious but I’ve been up to stuff and not on ao3 as much

I am indescribably hyped to read the new chapter, the glorious days that you post panthera are always fabulous

Onto the notes, major spoilers for Feast, chapter 76 of Panthera Noire!

—

Dear god it’s refreshing to read your writing again, something about your style just hits right, specially cause I’m a bit hung over rn blegh

Gabriels nightmare is incredibly written, the fact that panthera does give this grown man nightmares is genuinely hysterical and utterly deserved.

Ehehehe your dialogue for gabriel is splendid, don’t like how he treats nooroo but the idea of him putting the broach on his night shirt is amusing, do you think he does it super fast cause hes para and like jabs his thumb while putting it on?

Daw juleka and rose being cute, this won’t last will it…

What on earth is alix’s dad doing up a mountain in tibet? I can’t remember this episode aside from a few clips so idk if this is pulled from canon or if this is something you’ve made up. Either way why was he up there he’s a little museum guy

Oh em gee marinette pov!! A rare delicacy

I love when alix jokes about things she shouldn’t know. How about a bunny miraculous indeed…

Oh marinette… the guilt Juleka feels about lying about her identity is like a whole different brand to what marinette feels when obfuscating the truth, marinette can like compartmentalise it into justifying her actions until it gets to someone really close but even then shes like welp its for their sake and mine cant do anything about it

None of that is important i just like it

Something something chess metaphor for how marinette uses the heroes and either she is the queen in these scenarios or panthera is and marinette is the king…

Tbh plagg calling wayzz a bootlicker kinda bangs, they’re quite literally gods and concepts and have been through loads of holders, the relationships for kwamis and their holders is always a bit weird to me, ach its something i fixed in my own stuff

Hmm interesting how juleka can hear so well, it would be funny if she’d just seen juleka hanging out with master fu but that’s more comedic value than plot progression

I really do love how you’ve got panthera and Fu’s relationship, there’s respect but also he’s not another person who she bends over backwards to accommodate like ladybug its a very good balance

Fu’s reaction to Feast is splendid, and interesting backstory… he’s like old as balls so i never really thought about his parents, i think i assumed he was born into the order but being abandoned is a curious twist, you’ve given me something to think about for my own work actually, even if its never mentioned its helpful for how to write him

Its been 3 days i got distracted and went to the club, dreadnought oldest rock club in scotland :D omg panthera would fucking love the dreddy i feel so at home with the like 50 year old goths who live there

Anyway, i also got ill so remembering about this was like amazing

I love how theatrically juleka and plagg speak even tho they’re like totally serious

Omg i hate gabriel. I understand him most of the time but ugh the fact that he’s acting like that towards nathalie when she’s going through the same thing emily did is just enraging

I mean i get that it might make him act more weird but still

Poor wee adrien man

Omg panthera acting like spiderman always gets me, its her little interactions with people that are so cute even tho she doesn’t know them but she does she makes so much effort to be down to earth with people ach

Fantastic chase scene, but alos hello?? Not Juleka trying to scheme if they can just save the miraculous and leave fu to Feast thats insane girl

“There's my girl” on god ladybug do you not hear yourself speak?? Thats your wife girl…

The type of friendship they have is sooo… married 40 years the spark died out but they still bicker and rely on each other. One of my pals and i act like that sometimes it’s good fun

Oh dear i feel so bad for Fu, like he makes bad decisions but mann that guys traumatised

I do love how panthera is like this horror entity type thing while ladybug seems to be more human. Panthera is a danger to all old men with high blood pressure fr

Honestly seeing LB fight without the suit is interesting but I’ll always adore Panthera or Juleka fighting without the suit, tho we did get a little bit of that last chapter, and, obviously, in the theatre arc

OH MY GOATS

I always love seeing civilians banding together against the akuma, alix having a molotov is so in character, i bet a hundred smackaroos she got the booze from Anarka

I like marinettes conversation with Fu, i cant articulate why but its a good scene

YAY more ladynoire flirting for no fucking reason we are so back

I mean we need to be for chat blank to hit as hard…

On that note i forgot what a goated season season 3 is, what with chat blank, reflektdoll with the kwami swap, timetagger time travel... And more i’ve forgotten

Good question why IS her plan always vore???

This actual made me cackle, awesome comedy cap

Oh no why’re we getting into Fu and Feasts relationship… youre making me attached to the senti monster bro i can’t have that

Oh fire tine ‘lego’ skeleton… i hate how the guardians lived after being eaten by Feast like I know the miraculous cure fixes shit but i feel like it should only fix the stuff that LB has been directly involved with. I don’t know whether you’ll keep the guardians dead or not but i can hope!

NOOO feast dying is just making me like really sad bro he was just hungry…

Monkey hands on head over here

Oh marinette the least subtle person in the world… actually just pmo cause i was wanting panthera to bring it up tho i guess it is proper evidence that marinette hasnt and her reasons make some sense but ugh

Toxic yuri continues cant wait for it to explode… maybe thats connected to the chat blanc incident?

I think the dissonance between how panthera sees him as a person who made mistakes and still holds him accountable while ladybug sees him as this tragic story who just needs to be coddled and taken care of is interesting

NOOOO FU WHY make them both guardians omg no. i mean yes its important cause its such a big deal, tho i cant see some of the conflict in season for coming about based off of marinettes vehemence to not put out too many miraculous when season four was crazy for handing them out like candy… we’ll just have to see how it plays out i suppose

Oh wait hang on am i diot? Is marinette just too focussed on herself to see that Fu has also been training panthera or is panthera missing some information? She might be missing some stuff with how she delegated asking for the B team miraculous to be permanent to marinette…

Hmm

I do like how set on killing hawkmoth panthera is, her scales of justice are perhaps a bit skewed and deviant, devient superego… yeah lets not psychoanalyse this using freud

AWESOME CHAPTER!!! Sorry it took so long for me to read i am busy with college bullshit… home stretch this year thank fuck

HEHEHE ITS ALL GODO IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!! I had so much goddamn fun with this chapter and being able to set so much stuff just here has been a blast.

As for Marinette, Fu, Juleka, and all the guardian stuff. You're right on Marinette being too focused! In her pov, it says Fu stares directly at her when referring to guardians. In Juleka's, he stares at both of them

Marinette has never considered Fu may have been teaching Panthera the same shit hes been teaching her. In her eyes, shes been trained for this job and only her!

And so she brunt forces that worldview whenever she talks to juleka, esp about the miraculouses.

In her eyes, Panthera doesnt know as much as she does! So of course shes taking the lead, of course she's not making the right decision on letting the others have their miraculouses full time- of course its right for her to take control! Fu knows best, and Ladybug knows what Fu wants, so Ladybug knows best!

It's not meant to be demeaning, its not meant to strip Pantheras autonomy, but it does!

And thats a pattern with them. Ladybug is the plan guy and that has gotten to her head about how they treat their partnership.

#panthera noire au #sneak a cat

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jungkoode · 2 months ago

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okay sorry but now i aam so curious, can you miss kiki give us a rundown of every detail you’ve added to chapter 12? 🤍🤍🤍🤍

Alright. I wanted to say no because this is going to make me insane—but I needed to respond to this one for my own peace of mind before going to sleep.

Because if there’s one thing I want you all to take away from FMU, it’s that nothing is random. Nothing is just there for the sake of being there. Every detail—every glance, every reaction, every subconscious decision—is deliberate. I don’t write things just to fill space; I write things to mean something.

So now that we have established that… You guys really want to see how unhinged I am? You really want to understand what I mean when I say analyze everything?

Okay. Hold your fucking purses.

Also, let this serve as a warning. SPOILERS AHEAD. I’m going to be listing every single thread I wove into Chapter 12 while trying to remain as spoiler-free as possible for future events. This is mostly going to focus on linking things that have already been implied or set up. But this will change your perspective and likely influence your reading, so proceed with caution.

That being said. Here we go:

The very first thing Nix notices when she gets home is the vanilla scent. And her immediate reaction? Jungkook must have let the other girl use my stuff. This tells us two things: first, that her instinct is always to assume her boundaries have been violated (because that is what she's used to—she grew up in an environment where people controlled and took from her). And second, that she equates her scent, her space, her things with ownership. She doesn't just use vanilla body wash. It's hers. And the idea of someone else using it? She doesn't even know why it bothers her, but it does.

Jungkook immediately clarifies that he told the other girl Nix's stuff was off-limits. That means that while he was actively sleeping with someone else, he still had the awareness to enforce Nix's boundaries. And not only that—this is a man who loves the vanilla scent on Nix. But he didn't want it on someone else. He is already subconsciously rejecting the idea of another girl smelling like her.

He went to sleep right after the other girl left. Because he was tired, sure. But also? Because he was waiting for Nix to come back. And he doesn't even realize it. They said 40 minutes. She took two hours. His brain registeredthat time lapse, even if he won't consciously acknowledge it. And he went to sleep because, well—men are dumb and sleeping makes time pass faster.

They keep doing things for each other without realizing it, but in ways that piss each other off. In Chapter 11, she made him coffee—but she made it wrong. In Chapter 12, he aired out the house for her and lit her candle—but that pissed her off. And that's where the push-pull of their relationship lives. They are already shifting for each other, adjusting to each other's preferences, but they refuse to acknowledge that that's what's happening.

Nix has a hard time recognizing when Jungkook does something nice for her. She assumes there are ulterior motives. So when she realizes he genuinely didn't have any, she deflects. That's why she just brushes it off like, whatever, don't use my candles. Because accepting that he actually considered her comfort means accepting that maybe she doesn't hate him as much as she claims.

Jungkook has been noticing her things. Not just the candles, but how much they cost. Her soap. The small details. He is being drawn to her world in ways he isn't even aware of.

The way he clarifies he "didn't eat her pussy, just fucked it"? WHEW. Tell me you think oral is more intimate than penetration without telling me. He's literally creating a hierarchy of intimacy and keeping certain acts just for Nix.

Notice how he never even mentions the other girl's name? She's literally forgettable to him. A placeholder. Meanwhile, he knows every detail about Nix—her candles, her coffee, her shower products, her boundaries.

His coffee machine is sacred. He does not let people mess with it. But instead of just making his own coffee and ignoring her, he went out of his way to teach her how to make it properly. And then? He made her one himself. A vanilla latte. Again with the vanilla.

Him stealing her vanilla coffee pods is symbolic af. He takes something of hers, breaks a boundary, but transforms it into something she actually enjoys. It's literally what he's doing with her emotional walls—pushing past them and making her like it.

He wanted her approval. He wanted to hear her say it was good.

The way Nix refuses to admit she likes the coffee? PEAK emotional constipation. Girl can't accept pleasure without guilt. Her parents really did a number on her—she enjoys things and immediately has to shit on them. The coffee. His touch. The dirty talk. She's literally fighting her own happiness.

The fact that she actually enjoyed it? That turned him on. Her pleasure, her approval—those things reassure him in ways he doesn't even recognize yet.

Him drinking from her mug? That's practically a love confession in Jungkook-speak. Sharing a drink is weirdly more intimate than the actual sex they're having. It's the casual intimacy for me.

She keeps noticing how WARM he is. And it's not random. She's emotionally cold. She has cold hands. She puts up cold barriers. And he's this walking furnace, radiating heat, melting her defenses without even trying.

He has been thinking about her since the morning. Saw her in those shorts. Got horny. Didn't act on it because they were running late. Then the day went on. It left his conscious mind—but it lingered in his subconscious. Because then he hooked up with someone else. And even though that was satisfying, the craving? The initial source of it? That was Nix.

And what happens the second she walks through the door in those shorts again? Immediate. Physical. Reaction. This is not just about attraction. This is fixation. He is drawn to her in ways he does not understand, in ways he will not let himself acknowledge.

The vanilla thing comes up so many times it's basically becoming their whole personality. But it's perfect because vanilla is supposed to be "basic," but between them, it's this complex, layered thing—just like their so-called "just physical" relationship.

Her complaining about his "sweaty balls" and manspreading? Classic deflection. It's not about his balls—it's about the fact that he's taking up space. In the apartment. In her life. In her HEAD. And she's freaking out.

"Make me" is literally their mating call at this point. It's how they give permission without actually having to say "yes, I want this." It's a challenge that's really an invitation, and they both know exactly what it means.

His hand lingering on her thigh during conversation? He's finding excuses to maintain contact even when they're not being sexual. He CRAVES the connection.

The dirty talk. He uses it with her constantly. Because it flusters her. Because she tells him to shut up. Because she fights it—and he loves that. Because even as she's trying to resist it, she reacts to him. And then? In Chapter 12? She finally slips. Finally gives a little back. And he loves it.

His favorite position is cowgirl. And he has been thinking about her in that position. Not just once, but for a while. This is something he has already considered, already wanted.

He keeps condoms in the living room. He never fucks in the living room. He always brings people to his room.But with Nix? He is prepared to fuck her anywhere. And he doesn't even recognize the significance of that.

She asks about the condoms. She needs control. Again, reinforcing this point.

He asks about the pill, but not in a pushy way. Doesn't even hesitate when she says she isn't on it. Just accepts it. No whining, no complaints. Condoms it is. (Reminder: most guys his age are not this mature about it.)

When he asks her to "grab those titties"? He wants her to PARTICIPATE. To be an active player. To show him she wants this as much as he does. He needs that reassurance.

Jungkook's obsession with watching her get wet? It's not just a kink. He needs PROOF. Tangible, undeniable evidence that yes, she wants him, yes, this is real. Her wetness is his reality check.

The moment when he stops staring at where they're connected and looks at her FACE instead? SO TELLING.

He calls her "Phee" during sex and it's like his special vulnerability nickname. He has all these variations of Phoenix, but THAT one comes out when his guard is down, when he's not performing. Same with ‘Ro’.

He likes hearing her moan. Not just because it's hot—but because it gives him validation. Reassurance. Her pleasure is his pleasure.

He fixates on her scent again. Literally mumbles about it without thinking.

He doesn't even rest after he finishes. Doesn't take a breather. Doesn't fully live in his own orgasm. He immediately flips her over and fingers her until she comes. Because he needs to see it. He needs proof.

The contrast between his sexual confidence and his emotional consideration? We've got a man who knows exactly what he's doing in bed but still cares deeply about consent, protection, and her enjoyment. The bar is in hell but he's in the stratosphere.

Mr. 'I Hate Emotional Intimacy' immediately collapses onto her. Just flops down, resting on top of her. He is literally hugging her without thinking about it. Literally breathing her in, about to fall asleep on her.

Notice how she says "get off" but doesn't actually push him away? That's their whole dynamic in a nutshell. Her mouth says no but her body says yes, and he's learning to trust her body more than her words.

How they go from fucking to immediately bickering about sex toys with zero awkwardness? That's comfortable intimacy. No post-sex weirdness, no rushing to separate, just natural interaction.

And what wakes him up? Her pleasure. The thought of toys for her. He wanted to try things with her. Wanted to experience something new with her specifically.

"You deserve to cum even when I'm not here"? This man is transcending his own ego. It's not just about him being the source of her pleasure anymore—he genuinely wants her to feel good, period.

Nix has never had sex toys before. She doesn't have to say why. But it's clear—it's because of her controlled, monitored upbringing.

Her saying her parents would "kill her" for having sex toys is so telling. Even miles away, they're still controlling her sexuality. And Jungkook immediately positioning himself as the antidote to that control? GROWTH.

And Jungkook's reaction? Nope. We are going sex toy shopping. He immediately wants her to explore, to enjoy herself, to experience more. He is actively thinking about her, choosing to prioritize her pleasure.

Him planning for sex toys means he's thinking LONG TERM. This isn't a one-time hookup in his mind. He's already planning for future encounters, future exploration, future pleasure—together.

Her insisting they're "fuck buddies, not friends"? Girl is DESPERATELY trying to categorize their relationship to keep everything under control. Control. Control. Control.

That final playful swat she gives him? That's affection disguised as annoyance. Her body language is already betraying her words. She's playing, she's engaging, she's comfortable.

The whole scene is a circle—starts with boundary issues, ends with boundary discussions. They're literally working through their trust and intimacy issues in real time, even if they don't realize it.

I could probably keep going.

And that, my friends, is just one chapter.

Do you see it now? Do you understand why I beg you to analyze? Every moment, every line, every subconscious detail is building toward something. It is happening slowly. Organically. Unconsciously.

And we are only just beginning.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #fmu tidbits #ask/fmu

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banana-pancake5 · 6 months ago

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Dude I finally read the neon void and I’m going a little crazy.

I just kinda really really love it. I knew it was good but I didn’t expect it to be that good. So that was pleasantly surprising. I also for some reason didn’t expect to get Leo narrating for whatever reason but I’m so glad we did. It makes me so sad the misunderstandings the boys had when Leo’s being Leo but with a darker appearance (and being so unnecessarily aggressive with the remarks toward himself like baby no 😭)

I can’t exactly speak from experience but the way grief was written was so so nice. I guess I could be completely off base bc I have yet to experience that type of grief (the perks of not getting close to too many people I suppose) but it feels really realistic. I super appreciate it bc I’m gonna use it as an actual reference bc it’s written in a way that’s understandable? I guess? Like I didn’t really get the specifics of grief before and I guess I can’t really now, but I do have a better grasp I think. Ah it made me hurt a lot tho

I’m still kinda taking it all in but all of everything was just so so good. I would love to hear about all your favorite moments and aspects bc I feel a ramble on my bones but it needs to be awakened teehee

Yesssss im so glad you read it dcisjncedjindecinwdijwdcnijcen it so GOOD!!! (Also I literally went insane when I read it XD)

A reason I’m so obsessed with TNV is how Leo is characterized. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I LOVE crazy/insane characters Idk what it is about them but they always peak my interest. And the way @/sugarpasteltmnt writes Leo’s madness just feels so real!!! Insane characters + unreliable narrator (especially if it’s the insane character) = NCSDJHDSCNDJSJCN#NJISCDNDC I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! The misunderstandings of the brothers is also written so incredibly well. Again, it just feels so real. Their theories of who Neon Void is, their greif, their reactions to the taunts, etc. is all so realistic dfhuncfeuhncefihncufehneuhfcn

Oh and I also want to mention this fic made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. That does not happen with me!!! Especially with a fic????? Unheard of. (Specifically it was the Highschool TV show chapter)

Another thing I really like is how Donnie is written!!! I don’t even know what specifically about it, it’s just perfect!!!

Yeah I know what you mean!! The greif is written incredibly well, and though I haven’t experienced a loss like that, it definitely seems like a valid and (like I’ve said above) realistic way for each of them to react. I think it definitely does give me a better grasp on how some people grieve as well!

Hmmmm more of my favorite moments and aspects let’s seeeeeee

OKAY WELL THE WHOLE SPACE ODDITY SCENE MAKES ME WANNA SOB AND DIE OF EXCITEMENT AT THE SAME TIME. ESPECIALLY, IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY SEEN IT, LOOK AT THIS ANIMATIC BY @bowandbrush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS PHENOMENAL!!!! I think a (small) part of this is I’ve realized when a song I know and like is referenced in a fic it makes me go “edcjhefncihednchdiencsidjncdeijnjicedniscdjnds”

The 2012 reference with the whole rap makes me EXPLODE (ESPECIALLY DUM DUM LEOS PART NEDCIJNCDEEIJDNCIJEDCNJIDENC STOP BEUNG SO MEAN TO YOURSELF BUD)

Literally every scene with Leo is so cinimatic I can’t ndeicndwuchsdnuhnd

Whenever Leo is talking with his brothers and feels their Ninpo and such is so heartwarming and tragic

Oh! I really like the detail of him HATING that Cassandra is like “a part of the family” because it makes sense (SHE WAS IN THE FOOT CLAN, FROM LEOS PERSPECTIVE WHY WOULD THEY TRUST HER!!?!?!)

The chapter when Mikey rips off his arm is fantastic (I really like Leo’s reaction!!!)

I’m trying to remember all these scenes rn but I think that’s all I’ll say for now

If this invokes the ramble inside of you, you know I’d love to hear it!!!!!

#TNV IS SO GOOOOOOOOD #AHHHHH #I wanna go read the recovery chapters #I’ve only read like 1 or 2 of them for some reason #moo’s moots #TNV #the neon void #neon void #Rottmnt #M3B fic recs

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bambirex · 2 years ago

Text

Keep My Heart In Your Gold

Pairing: Geraskier

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia

Additional tags: friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, sad geralt of rivia, supportive jaskier, trust, grief/mourning, renfri's brooch, inspired by season 3 episode 8

Rating: teen and up audiences

Word count: 2,579 words

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Geralt always carries a brooch around with him. Jaskier wants to know why.

Author's notes: I can't stop thinking about Jaskier knowing what the brooch meant to Geralt, like, the implications of that??? It must have taken a huge amount of trust on Geralt's side to tell Jaskier this and since i'm insane about this whole thing, i decided I wanna write how that conversation went.

Read on Ao3

The brooch always seemed out of place for Jaskier. It wasn't exactly the type of accessory that you would imagine a dark, brooding witcher carrying around: pure gold and shiny gemstones, and delicate carvings that almost made the brooch look like it had an eternal smile.

Yet, Geralt always had it with him, strapped to the hilt of his sword. The sight of it was a little comical, here and there, to have something so pretty stick out during an intense fight with a gruesome monster. If the brooch got covered in blood, Geralt would wash it off with such gentle, caring movements, as if it wasn't just a simple object, but something more important.

But Geralt wasn't such a sentimental kind, was he?

Jaskier has been traveling with Geralt for a couple of months when he first brought up the brooch.

"It's pretty," he pointed out one evening as they sat by the fire, the orange glow of the flames reflecting off the gold.

Geralt followed Jaskier's eyes that fixated on the brooch. He let out a quiet grunt and returned to tending to the fire. Jaskier waited for a few moments. When no more reaction came from Geralt, he continued.

"How long have you had this?"

"A while," was all Geralt said. He didn't even look at Jaskier. Usually, Geralt wore a closed-off, strict expression. At first, Jaskier thought it was only reserved for him and his somewhat annoying shenanigans, but he's quickly learnt that it was just simply Geralt's face. There was something else to it now, though, a deeper, darker emotion, like bitterness.

"Was it a gift?" Jaskier pressed further as he scooted closer to Geralt. "I mean, it was, wasn't it? It looks expensive. Almost like it came from someone royalty."

Something flashed in Geralt’s eyes as he looked at him - like a fleeting moment of anguish. Whatever it was, it made Jaskier's chest tighten.

"How do you know that?"

"I hang around royalty a lot, Geralt, I'm a bard," Jaskier reminded him. "I know what kind of jewelry they wear, so..."

It wouldn't make much sense for Geralt, who famously despised royalty, to accept a gift from someone like that, let alone keep it. Whoever gave it to him, they must have been special.

"It's time for you to sleep," Geralt told him, not bothering with a reply to the actual question. Jaskier snorted.

"You're putting me to bed like a child?"

"You are a child," Geralt replied with a small grin. That made Jaskier sputter, but he did take his place on his bedroll all the same.

The brooch was the last thing he saw before he fell asleep.

All of Jaskier's attempts at trying to ask about the brooch turned out to be futile. Geralt either completely ignored Jaskier until he gave up, or he changed the subject right away. If Jaskier was a little too pushy, Geralt would even snap at him and tell him to stop being so nosy.

Jaskier wondered why Geralt was so apprehensive about telling him. As the years have gone by, their bond deepened, and the witcher opened up to him more and more. He trusted Jaskier, that much was obvious: he left him alone with Roach without hesitation, told him about Kaer Morhen and the witcher trials, entrusted him with picking out the right potions for him after a fight. He let him give him baths, for Melitele's sake, it was obvious that Geralt knew Jaskier was someone he could rely on.

And yet, he refused to tell him about the brooch, over and over again.

"It's from someone important," Jaskier noted one day. It wasn't a question, and Geralt realized that, too, because he just stared down at his boots, the muscles in his jaw twitching, like he wanted to reply, just didn't know how.

Jaskier waited for him to open up at last, to let him in - to share something so clearly important with him. He looked at Geralt, trying to silently communicate to him that it was alright, that he could always talk to him about whatever heavy burden plagued him about that brooch.

"Just drop it, Jaskier," Geralt said eventually. The sheer pain in his voice was enough for Jaskier to reach out and give his hand a squeeze. He didn't press it any further. Geralt seemed eternally grateful for it as he laced their fingers together.

Jaskier stopped asking about the brooch after that. He relied on his vivid imagination instead as he walked up the hill after Geralt, looking at the gold shining on his sword.

Who could have given it to him? Was it a gift, a sign of gratefulness after Geralt has gotten ridden of a monster? Maybe, but he wouldn't have held it so dear, then. This was something deeper.

An old friend? Someone Geralt greatly cared about, someone who cared for him too - someone that Jaskier hoped to be like, one day, if Geralt was ready for it.

Family? His mother? The only thing that was left of her? Another witcher at Kaer Morhen? A token of love?

Love... maybe it was from someone really close to Geralt's heart. Someone who meant the world to him. Where did they go? Did they leave? Did they die? Did looking at their brooch cause Geralt great pain, a reminder of what he has lost, or did it fill him with joy, giving him the strength to move forward?

"I wish you could talk," Jaskier chuckled softly when he cleaned Geralt's sword and faced the brooch. It was already a big step that Geralt let him clean it, he hasn't before. It felt almost as if day by day, Jaskier got closer to Geralt's heart. Maybe one day he would learn the truth behind the brooch, and he would be fully let inside. Until then, he appreciated what he could get.

"I'd love to know your story. I bet it's a great one, isn't it? Good song material."

The sunlight glinted on the surface of the brooch, almost like it answered him. Jaskier laughed at the silly thought.

"Also, I want Geralt to fully trust me, you know?" Jaskier continued as he scrubbed at a nasty stain on the edge of the sword. "And, I don't know. I feel like you mean something to him. And it would mean a lot to me if he shared you with me."

The way the light reflected in one of the gemstones made Jaskier laugh again, because it looked like the brooch winked at him.

Jaskier was about to fall asleep when Geralt slipped out of bed. Jaskier didn’t question it; he knew Geralt often had trouble sleeping as his witcher senses kicked in during the night, picking up every single quiet noise and tiny movement. He also knew about the nightmares, the horrific images of having to take lives, and seeing his witcher brothers die haunting his mind. Jaskier didn’t think a big deal of Geralt leaving their bed, so he pulled the blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes again.

A couple of moments after Geralt got up, the bed dipped again. Jaskier cracked one eye open, trying to get used to the darkness in the room. Geralt was only somewhat illuminated by the moonlight, but Jaskier could still tell he was looking right at him.

"You're awake, then," Geralt stated. Jaskier rubbed his eyes as he sat up against the headboard.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

Geralt looked down. Jaskier noticed he was holding something in his hand, but couldn't tell what it was in the dim light.

"You used to ask about it a lot," Geralt started. His voice was tired, pained. It woke Jaskier fully at once. Geralt didn't even need to tell him what he meant, because Jaskier immediately knew he was talking about the brooch.

"You've stopped."

"Because it's clear you don't want to tell me," Jaskier replied. "And that's okay, Geralt. I don't want to force you."

"I want to tell you," Geralt said. The moonlight glinted off the brooch as he turned it around in his hand. "I want you to know."

Jaskier hugged his knees to his chest. He tried to appear patient, but his heartbeat picked up as he realized that what he has been waiting for years - for Geralt to truly let him in, to share such an important piece of his soul with him - was finally happening.

"This brooch," Geralt said, looking down on the gold in his hand, "belonged to a girl named Renfri. She was a princess who had to leave her home because she was born under a Black Sun. She was prophesied to be dangerous. But she was just... a girl who was hurt. Too many times."

He looked at Jaskier as he continued. "She was a skilled warrior. Very strong and brave. Any man could have envied her strength. She was also witty and smart. I think you would've liked her."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I often wish you two had a chance to meet."

Something about the way he said it made Jaskier's heart flutter inside his chest.

"Renfri was special. In a way, she really was dangerous. When nothing good ever happens to you, when you keep hurting... it's hard not to become the very thing everyone was told you were going to be. But that did not make her a bad person. She had a right to be angry."

He reached out and took Jaskier's hand. Jaskier drew in a sharp breath when Geralt placed the brooch in his palm, laying his own over it until he covered Jaskier's hand with his own. The brooch was cold, but Geralt's skin was warm against his own.

"She was more than her anger," Geralt continued, looking down on their joined hands. "She also had a right to prove she was more than that. But she didn't have enough time."

"You loved her," Jaskier whispered. Geralt nodded.

"I did. And I killed her."

Jaskier only heard his own heartbeat in the dead silence of the room. Geralt sighed deeply.

"It was always going to end that way," he said, "you truly cannot trick destiny. I was told to choose between the lesser of two evils. I had to kill Renfri to stop her from unleashing chaos on the Continent."

Jaskier's throat felt dry and constricted around his words. "I'm sorry, Geralt."

"This is a reminder for me," Geralt continued. He ran his hand over the brooch, then Jaskier's palm. "That I can't escape the past the same way I can't escape the future. Renfri told me that the girl in the woods will always be with me."

"And who's that?"

"I have a hunch. The destiny I was trying to avoid, again. The one you also warned me about not trying to forget."

In the pale moonlight, Geralt's eyes shone bright as he looked into Jaskier's eyes.

"Renfri was the first human I truly let close to me," he told Jaskier, his voice softer than Jaskier has ever heard it before, "and somehow, although you are very different, I see her in you, sometimes. A constant reminder of my own humanity. And..."

He caressed his thumb over Jaskier's palm again, gently. "I trust you, Jaskier. You bring something good out of me. The same way she could have, but destiny stepped in. But with you... I think things are going to be alright."

Jaskier's eyes welled with tears as his heart nearly burst with an emotion so strong, he couldn't resist that eternal pull anymore - the one that made him follow a grumpy witcher at Posada, the one that never let him leave his side, the one that loved Geralt so dearly, always hoping, always longing to be the one Geralt trusted the most. The one Geralt loved as much as he loved that mysterious girl from the past, who left a part of her heart behind in that brooch.

In that moment, it just felt right when he leaned forward and kissed Geralt. Geralt's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him close until he was on his lap. He grabbed onto Jaskier's shirt like an anchor, holding him close almost desperately. Jaskier wiped Geralt's tears off - or were they his own, he didn't know anymore - as he continued kissing him, silently telling him that he would never leave.

"Thank you," Jaskier whispered as he pulled back to rest his forehead against Geralt's. Their hands were still intertwined over the brooch.

The soldier wouldn't let them pass, and they couldn't waste any more time. They needed to find Ciri as soon as possible. Jaskier could have screamed in frustration.

"Wait," Geralt said, reaching into his pocket. Jaskier raised an eyebrow at him. They didn't have any more money on them, so they had nothing to offer as a fee.

"What about this?"

Jaskier gasped when he noticed Geralt holding Renfri's brooch.

"No, Geralt," he whispered, "not that."

Geralt sent him a small smile, and touched his lower back fleetingly. A small gesture of comfort, as if he wasn't the one who was about to pay a douchebag Nilfgaardian soldier with one of the most important objects in his possession. Jaskier tried to reason with him one more time, but Geralt handed the brooch over anyways. Seeing that bastard take it made Jaskier's stomach churn, and his heart clench uncomfortably.

He didn't have time to dwell on it while he had to assist Geralt's fight with the soldiers, but it was the first thing he asked him once they got their horses ready for the road.

"Why?"

Geralt sent him a questioning look. "What do you mean why?"

"The brooch," Jaskier sighed, "Geralt, it was important."

Geralt smiled as he gently tucked Jaskier's hair behind his ear. He cupped his cheek soothingly.

"It's time to let go of the past," he said softly, "and focus on the future."

"But... there must have been another way, Geralt! I could have offered him a blowjob, although it wouldn't have been one given willingly."

"I would have chopped his head off before I let him touch you," Geralt scoffed. He smiled again when Jaskier leaned into his touch. "It had to be done. For Ciri, for all of us. It did mean a lot to me. But it's time to let it go - to let Renfri go."

He kissed Jaskier on the lips before he planted another kiss on his forehead. "Come on. Let's find Ciri."

Jaskier nodded with a smile. Geralt's heart worked in mysterious ways, but Jaskier was slowly learning its intricacies. He knew he was right: cherishing the past was important, but staying stuck in it didn't help anyone. He saw the way Geralt smiled at him before he grabbed the reins of his horse: he looked relieved, like a huge weight has just left his shoulders. The same way he trusted Jaskier with the truth all those years ago, now he trusted him to understand his decision. And Jaskier did.

He looked back at the camp one last time, saying goodbye to the brooch and its history in his mind - and to the girl whom, while he did not know, also meant a lot to him, because she was important to Geralt.

And now it was time to take his beloved witcher's hand and face the future, so they could rescue someone who also meant a lot to both of them.

#geraskier #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher fic #my fic #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier fic #geraskier fanfiction #geralt x jaskier

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cartoonrival · 4 months ago

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Keeping Up With The Uzumakis!!! I read that years ago! I can’t believe it’s back! I just went through the entire With Cheese tag and it has some gold in it, the gender sexuality headcanons especially are golden! Idk if they’re still canon but I love them.

Trans Nauto and Hinata is both inspired and accidentally canon (wisker marks coming from being in the womb on jinchuuriki and all) because of how careful you are with canon I’m sure it’s intentional

Sasuke being gay, we been knowing this since he was 12

I need Sakura to start sleeping with everybody at the hospital the second she find out about the affair. She must have so so much repressed sexual energy that can only really come out by sleeping with Ino, but Ino’s married and actually happy about that so the blonde nurse assigned to ward 4 will have to make due.

Kakashi being ambiguously bisexual is great, you never know what exactly he is feeling except that he’s feeling something about Guy (And also Obito and Rin during the war, but that’s in his PAST and therefore NOT his PROBLEM anymore)

Guy being gay, perfect no notes

Rock Lee’s gender and Sexuality being Rock Lee, perfect. Nobody is doing it like Rock Lee.

More inspired trans headcanons with Boruto and Sarada, once again hitting male characters with the Tranfem-ification beam and also Sasuke leaving Konoha with a son and coming back to a daughter. Sakura totally wrote to him about her transition with all of the medical and personal details but Sasuke never read them because he was too busy reading Naruto’s Horny Letters tm.

Ps, will the next chapter/episode/installment thing take over a year again? It’s fine if it does there’s so much gold in it it’s completely worth the wait.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 having read kuwtu "years ago" seriously scared me but yeah ig ep 0 was a year and a half ago .... SCARY ........

most of the gender/sexuality stuff is either the same or adjacent to my actual headcanons outside of kuwtu which are mostly either canon supported or compliant (my usual hc for naruto is trans and bi aroace, sasuke is arospec gay, etc. i initially made naruto trans because i'm trans and i thought it would be awesome, i did realize a little after that the whiskers thing implied that he was lol. i like trans sakura in canon but she can't be trans for kuwtu because that wouldve required sasuke to be also trans and be the one to carry sarada which he could never do. the complexity of naruto's canon sexuality wrt romantic vs platonic love is unnecessary for kuwtu and complicates things in a way that takes away from the reality tv humor. aroaces aren't known for relationship drama).

i don't currently have any plans for sakura or hinata to find out about the affair because i can't really figure how to make that funny since it would be such a massive and terrible betrayal. sakura and naruto have sort of drifted apart atp, but at one point they were best friends, and learning that her best friend was sleeping with her husband would be so fucking insane that i just don't really have the heart to write it unless i get blessed with some really hilarious idea for it, lol. hinata's pov in kuwtu is already depressing as is-- you all haven't seen much of her and idk how to integrate her pov in rn, but the humor from her end comes largely from the tonal dissonance rather than from her actually having funny reactions to her shitty marriage like sakura does.

that said, if sakura DID find out about the affair, i don't think that she is the type to sleep around because she is waaaay too tied down by responsibility. the whole reason why she hasn't divorced sasuke is in order to maintain the status quo for sarada, so while she would definitely go more than a little crazy at this info i don't think she would be sleeping with any employees. you are 100% right though that she has repressed sexual energy because she hasn't had sex in 12 years.

my usual hc for kakashi is aroace with bisexual tendencies specifically because he has a weird gay thing going on with gai. in kuwtu the kakagai joke is that they have a weird gay thing going on and they're always attached at the hip but never explicitly romantic, which tbh is basically true about boruto canon as well. again i haven't found a good opportunity to work kakashi and gai into kuwtu ... but i think about it because they're really important to me. im a kakaobi anti but that is neither here nor there.

transfem boruto is important to me, i have a comic that vaguely touches on it scripted but idk if im ever gonna actually make it. if i get to a point where i know im never gonna draw it then ill post the script. i'm not entirely sure what the circumstances for his and sasuke's training vacay is since kuwtu has, as far as ive considered, literally none of the conflict elements that boruto canon has, so they might just go off cuz boruto wanted to be taught by sasuke (he admires sasuke as a ninja even if he thinks sasuke as a person is lame as fuck and cringe).

i don't currently have any plans for the next installment. since ep 0 and The Truth were both rewrites of actual events in boruto canon, atp i have to be like fully original which is harder, lol. so i don't know..... i really love the kuwtu cast but i don't have any full comic ideas for them rn.

anyways THANK YOU! IM GLAD YOU LIKE KUWTU BECAUSE I DO ALSO ... <3

#asks157 #kuwtuwc

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greenerteacups · 1 year ago

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Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

#greenteacup asks

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theasocialantisocial · 1 year ago

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i tried to post the following in the original comments section, but it didn’t fit and i don’t know how to format it, so i’ll send it directly: i’m really sorry for not responding sooner, about the ‘Up is Down, Sane is Insane’ thing. i DID see your comment the first day it was there, i’ve been thinking about it for the past few days. i wasn’t sure how to respond and got nervous because i didnt wanna screw anything up until i was sure how to do it. i planned out my response in my head, and hopefully, i’m not coming across as rude. i’m not good at apologies, but i really am sorry. maybe this will look like i’m just making excuses, and i don’t want to appear as though i’m dismissing this. i’m just trying to explain my actions and apologize, and if i come off as anything but, i’m really sorry, and please let me know, so i can correct the apology as well.

first off, the pathologizing: i guess that’ll be my first thing to research, neurotypes. i’m googling it as i’m typing, and yeah, that does seem like a better word to use. when i first looked up autism symptoms— just out of curiosity— several sources called it ‘autism spectrum *disorder,’* and so i just went with it, not even thinking about it. i should’ve thought about it. more thorough research is needed on my end, for sure, to avoid that sort of mistake again. i’m really sorry about this.

second, institutionalization: i wasn’t fully aware of how bad it is even today. i’m sorry about that, and i’ll try my best to look into modern institutionalization as best as i can, to understand how bad it is. i wasn’t thinking of the modern versions with my story, but if i’m looking at the victorian asylums and turning a blind eye to what’s happening today, it would be hypocritical of me.

how i handled the subject matter: i didn’t realize that i was handling anything so horribly. i was trying to portray it as it was, but with empathy and a lot of anxiety about whether or not i should tone it down. as for husk and angel’s reactions, i wasn’t quite sure what to do, but again, i thought that, well, asylums were shown to be safe places, even if it wasn’t (still isn’t) true. maybe they’d just misunderstand and move on. it’s hard to address this concern without specific examples (no offense to you!), but i am taking this into consideration, and even if i don’t know exactly how to respond to this, i will try to keep this in mind.

the asylum, and autistic-coding: i really should’ve thought about that aspect before i even clicked ‘new work’. i swear, i hadn’t meant anything by it. i had read ‘The Woman They Could Not Silence’, and it mentioned how being ‘too emotional’ was seen as insanity. i hadn’t thought of anything, i just finished the book, and a couple days or weeks later, i was talking with my friend and i came up with pentious’ backstory. all i really saw was his behavior. or rather, just how he wore his emotions on his sleeves. i saw his personality, i looked back at the book, and i thought “oh, there’s no way he’d survive that era without some trauma.” a bit later on, after a couple chapters were posted, 2 or 3, i found a tumblr post about a list of autistic traits he showed. ‘oh, that makes sense,’ i thought, ‘yeah, that fits.’ i didn’t actually think about how it might appear: an autistic-coded character in an abusive asylum. i should’ve taken a moment to realize how it would look, so i could write it better, with more empathy. i truly wasn’t trying to offend anybody, i truly didn’t mean to suggest anything beyond how institutionalization was/is horrible, and how it could affect someone. maybe you’ll believe me, maybe you won’t, i swear that my only intentions were to write an interesting backstory and to explore what it was really like back then. i’m really, truly sorry about that.

if there’s anything at all i can do to fix everything— adjust the story going forward, minor OR major rewrites, delete it completely, anything— please let me know. ANYTHING. i’ve said it already, several times, but i really am sorry. i hope i sound sorry here, because i mean it.

I'm genuinely sorry I didn't answer sooner, this is very hard for me to talk about, and ai don't go on Tumblr every day so I didn't see this until about a day ago. I do not have ANY intention of making you feel bad or like I was being rude or trying to attack you, but every I said is very true and too important to sugar coat, I just want to say that for the record.

I don't at all think it's necessary to delete anything, and I hate if I've made you feel insecure about your art, that's not my intention, these things are just very, very important like I said. But if I were you I would keep these things I said in mind for future, in addition to potentially going back and changing the way Angel and Husk are reacting to situation as a whole- I don't necessarily want to tell dictate you on how, but for example, it seems weird that Angel heard that entire story in the last chapter, and still thinks Pen was getting like actual healthcare in that place? Unless I missed something/I'm confused, that seems really weird. It just feels like they're a little too cozy with the idea of institutionalization in general. Which I understand because a lot of people are (understably) very ignorant about the topic. But I only thing I want from my fellow humans is just... An general understanding of institutionalization being wrong, especially in the art we make. That's basically all I have to say about and I thank you if you seriously consider it. I know I repeated myself a few times but I'm having a hard time putting thoughts to words

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god-has-entered-my-body · 1 year ago

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✨✍️🎨

thank you for this, you're golden xx

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

ohhh I have quite literally every single one saved so might as well post the ones i still kick my feet over to this day.

first comment i ever got was from Belle and i think i did actually writhe in my bed reading it, i didnt think anyone would actually see anything i put out. Also went insane and spammed my mate freaking out because its literally user sugar-coat-it in my replies.

having my literal fic idols comment on and reblog my stuff had me spamming @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff literally so much it was insane i tell you. tumblr user wrestletotheground i screamed that day you're actually a total legend.

again. my longfic idol perceiving me is so mental i keep staring at it and it doesnt feel real??? like im just a fangirl at heart dont do this to me.

someone recommending my fics to HALLA and this being her reaction i think i stared at my phone for a solid minute before reacting by again, spamming my mates and going insane

this has become this weird gush fest please dont think im wanky i just dont do well with people i admire interacting with me in any capacity xx

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

my laptop on my desk. super basic but i do make myself a cuppa and take my meds so i can focus on actually writing instead of browsing bdsm wikipedia for research purposes. also fics srsly dont help my smoking i go through like half a packet for every fic or chapter or whatever. I guess it sort of fits the vibe though? MPIND matty would be proud in his own weird way.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

i dont think thats really a feasible concept for me, but I do imagine MPIND very vividly, and i think other people do too. I feel like MPIND and his whole fashion thing he has going on i think the outfits might be fun to draw?? i do have actual clothing picked out tucked away in a google doc that i think he's wear if he was real.

I'd love to see scenes like ones i've written on the terrace, or maybe the lighter scene come to life? To be completely honest, i havent read MPIND in a hot minute i genuinely forgot a lot of the plot/specific scenes i put in x

If anyone does ever make fanart, i will print it out and hang it above my bed to stare at in awe because someone putting in that effort is imperceivable for me

#god i need to stop yapping #also i need to quit the fangirling i can imagine it comes off as a bit wanky #anyway #lena speaks #anon ure amazing #mpind matty #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfic

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midnightrings · 2 years ago

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Okay, so I’ve kept quiet on this blog so far about the shit I had to deal with this past week, but I feel like I need to make a post addressing it – as a reminder that you don’t have to be an asshole to fanfic writers, just because they write stuff you do not like to read.

I’ve been publishing fanfiction since I was 12 years old. I’ve received some nice hate comments through the years, and been in fairly toxic fandoms. Mostly, however, my experience with fanfiction has been calm and friendly. I write a lot about minor characters and ships, and the topics and themes in my stories are fairly mild compared to some of the stuff you can find on AO3. However, none of those fanfic experiences I had over the past decade comes close to the insanity that I had to deal with in the Bridgerton fandom recently. And I tried to laugh it off, but honestly, I might as well go on a bit of rant.

Just to try and summarize what’s been happening: A week ago I started publishing a Kathony fanfiction I’ve finished writing recently. It’s a what-if scenario about what might have happened, had Anthony actually married Edwina. I love to write angst, so this was a perfect fic idea for me, and I also stated in the tags and A/N that it will have a HEA for Kate and Anthony. And, well, people have lost it. I’ve received tons of ridiculous hate comments, insults to me and my writing, and even had a kind anon in my inbox who told me to kms. It’s been absolutely insane. A part of me is laughing about it, but I’m also in shock that such an innocent fanfic idea has provoked such immense hatred.

Now, I never would have expected this kind of reaction. And it’s been difficult to figure out what it was that bothered people so much. Here’s what I gathered from the response I’ve received:

For one, apparently there are a lot of people that believe this fic cannot have a happy ending if Kate ends up as Anthony’s mistress. This type of thinking surprised me, and I guess it’s the result of two worlds colliding. Maybe those people mostly read HR, and considering mistresses and such are usually not treated very nicely in those fictional historical romances, they immediately assume I have the same kind of screwed views on women as they do. They were also bothered by me not tagging it as Anthony/Edwina (even though the fic isn’t about them, and I only tag ships that are actual romantic ships in my stories), and hated that Anthony and Edwina had sex (though I honestly couldn’t have written this fic without them having sex and thought this was kind of implied by them being married). I now added a tag for the latter, so people know about it beforehand. But the thing is, the summary and tags clearly stated that this is a fic in which Anthony and Edwina are married, and that it’s about Kate and Anthony finding their HEA despite it. Everything they were mad about was already stated in the tags, summary, A/N or – at the very least – in the beginning of the first chapter.

Then, people apparently went through my other fanfics and realized I mainly write about Anthony and Siena. And well, that surely made them angry for some reason. I feel like this part is mostly projection – they don’t multi-ship and believe other can’t either. They’ve been accusing me of purposely trying to screw up Anthony and Kate, and basically tried to tell me what will happen in my story they have not even read yet. It’s honestly insane to me how they know that I love Anthony and Siena, yet for some reason believe I am trying to destroy Kate’s character by making her a mistress. Like – Siena is quite literally Anthony’s mistress in the show. If I had any issue with mistresses during that time period, Siena would not be my favorite character, neither would I love her affair with Anthony. Not to mention that the one multi-chapter fic series I’ve written about Anthony and Siena so far ends with their canon breakup and puts Siena through more shit than Kate will have to grow through in my current Kathony fic. I guess they do not care about this as they don’t care about Siena. And considering some of those comments had pretty misogynistic undertones, I’m going to assume they probably wouldn’t be bothered by how I write Siena, considering she’s already basically a courtesan.

Of course, I’ve also received a lot of amazing comments, and I’m extremely grateful for all the support. Nonetheless, this type of behavior is simply not acceptable. If you do not like a fic, don’t read it. If you started reading a fic and realize that you do not like where the story is going, don’t like the writing or the writer’s take on those characters and relationships, stop reading. Fanfic writers don’t work for you, and their content won’t always be perfectly curated to your own personal interests.

Writers will try and explore many different scenarios. They will have different interpretations of the characters and ship dynamics, might want to explore different aspects to a character which you might not agree with, and will purposely create storylines to do so. You do not have to like everything that is published on AO3 – not everything is meant for you. And if you do not like a fic, move on to the next. Or create your own. Being an ass to fanfic writer is just shitty behavior.

I spend my free time writing fics because I enjoy it. I write stories I like to explore for myself, and sometimes I edit those fics and publish them, because you never know who might be interested in reading this as well. I’m extremely thankful to all those amazing writers out there, sharing their stories for free – especially when I’m the only person leaving a kudo and comment. I’m so glad they decided to post stories only a few people are interested in, and I’m trying to do the same with my fanfics. Knowing that there are people out there who enjoy the stuff I write as much as I do, is enough for me to sit down and create those stories in my free time. And it can take a lot of time and effort, but it’s worth it. And hate comments completely ruin that experience for everyone.

Mind you, those comments won’t keep me from writing, and they don’t bother me too much either. I’m just a bit tired of them. But I’m sure that I’m not their only victim. And the next writer they harass might be a teenage girl who has just started writing fanfiction and will be completely devastated.

And despite all the lovely comments I’ve received, I definitely don’t have as much fun writing this story as I used to in the beginning. And it sucks, because I know very well that people can usually tell when a writer has lost their passion for a story. I’m sure that this is probably their goal – to harass writers enough so they stop writing. I obviously won’t stop writing this fic – I’ve already written the entire story down either way – but it’s exhausting how comfortable people are with ruining an entire reading and writing experience for everyone involved, when they could easily just not read a story that is clearly not meant for them.

I really do not know what the issue within the Bridgerton fandom is. Whether there are a lot of younger people who have joined a fandom for the first time in their life and simply don’t know how to act. Or if this behavior is quite normal to this type of genre and I simply lack experience in it. But neither of those explanations would make it okay. It’s pure entitlement. Fanfic writers don’t exist to please you.

If you consume fanfiction, you should also respect the writers. People are out their attending university classes while working two part time jobs and then decide to post a 100k word fic simply for other people to enjoy. They don’t earn anything from it. And it’s the caring and supportive community those stories create which is also keeping fanfiction alive. Trying to destroy that community while also still consuming fanfiction is simply egoistic.

So if you like reading fanfiction, be nice to the writers. And if you cannot accept that not every fanfiction is meant for you, and feel the need to be an asshole to writers – well, then maybe you should not engage with fanfiction at all.

#fanfiction #writing #bridgerton #fandom culture #wanted to add a read more but didn't know when sorry #felt like i needed to write this cuz ppl tend to brush off hate comments #and i did this in the past as well #but there's always a point when it's enough #and mind you all this during my birthday week too lmao #and this applies to any other fandom content as well btw

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evanescentdawn · 4 months ago

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tagged by @kylermalloy <3

ahahaha… my ao3 stats for 2024, as I expected, is:

I posted (1) fic which was for a bigbang lmaooo. also the word count should have -86 words from it since I posted a draft into a collection since I didnt want it to delete.

but the word count hello 😳 4K for a fic!!!! yeah it was multichaptered but like. I kinda meant for that to be one chapter. also funny how in the start I was worried if I was gonna meet the 3K minimum and lolol I went OVER. <333 been rereading this and I really like parts of it… so fun… I should get back to this one day and properly plot it out so I can continue it. XD funny I say this cuz when I posted it it was with the feeling of wow yeah I am never gonna come back to this.

my overall one: (from 2019):

you know what. I know I posted like 144 works which is kind of insane number if you look at it straight but since they were majority small fics I didn’t think my word count would be like that thoughhh. it feels so fjfjfjf seeing the 111, 941 like hello?????

speaking of wips, I have been glancing at my doc today and wow. I really have so many wips, like I knew it, but wow. Also so many fun ideas… I was reread a couple… and they’re so fun (and it’s so nice to look back and it got me all fired up/inspired to write stuff since wow I wrote so much stuff then) …. I need to go back and continue them… it’s such a shame…. Also I love the odd out fandoms I have in there…. But also bad since now I want to reread mangas so I can remember and to continue the wips 😔😔😔 but im already rereading/rewatching stuff I can’t put moreee on plate (I say rereading/rewatching but that’s also inconsistent) also I really want to get back to orv the wips are SO fun and I just miss it but it’s been so long since I read the material I knowww i need to refresh on their characters

but 😭😭😭 it’s fr like 500 smth chapters and every time I tried to reread I couldn’t get pass the prologue/chapter one. my attention spans hates rereading stuff especially novels….. 😔😔😔😔 BUT I HOPE IT GET TO IT… though one of the frustrating things about rereads/rewatches is that I want to have a more active reread/rewatch so I can kind of remember it more I guess and like just cuz that would be fun but honestly… I don’t know how to do that in a way that would … idk what I was gonna say.

like for tg, while I was rereading the first couple chapters I did some redrawing doodles of moments in it…. Mmmmh. and ft I do have this wip of lol comic about a moment in the manga…. I guess I also do a reaction thingy post but also… im kind of sometimes too lazy for stuff like that. 😔 oh well. but at least talking about this has made me more wanting to reread orv….

my most hit work:

This Must Count For Something

JDJFJFKDK as I expected…. but hehehe while I used to lament over how it’s also terribly the longest fic I had I can say with happiness it NO LONGER IS! I don’t know if saying multi chap I posted is longer is cheating but welll… in my defense I kinda wrote in one setting… well not one setting as in one actual setting but yeah. it was meant to be one whole chapter but I broke it up since I thought it worked better that way

anyways im not really surprised at this since lol its a popular shit in orv soooooo. I don’t hate the fic, it was just an impulsive fic that came out of nowhere and ahahahah it’s so funny to read my notes that say the same thing “I REFUSE TO BELIEVE MY LONGEST FIC IS A DOKHYUK FIC THAT I WROTE ON IMPULSE” im beyond amused ahahah.

I would reread this one just to see how it was but i get so much second hand embarrassment when i think of rereading this that i can’t but what i can remember the last I reread it wasn’t bad at all. okay you know what. let’s just reread it. okay it’s actually good. I like it???? it was genuinely fun to read 😭 but I am just increasingly embarrassed by it LOL.

Well I used to be. I think rereading it cured me. HJDKDJDKDJDJDJKDKK??????? funny considering from what I remember last time I reread it and thought it was good then it didn’t cure me of my embarrassment.

okay the longer im reading this im fjdkdkklfkf. the embrassement slightly creeped back up. but overall its a fun fic. also insane premise HFJFKKFKF (I can’t believe the character actually went for it and starting to jerk off right next to the Objection of his crush in the same room. thinking im on my phone. they won’t notice but mostly what gets to me is that they really went for it. how incredibly bold HDJKDKDKDKD. I should make more plots like this it’s so insane it’s great. dhjdjdjd)

(also not me getting shocked at what the character is doing when I wrote it 😭 even when I knew it was coming (lol) as I read it… still insane<3 i think I vaguely remember going djdjfjd as I was writing since I just went where the direction took me….)

my most kudos work:

Happy Birthday, Sunfish

actually happy it’s not the fic above lololol. I think last time I checked (years ago for some tagged game or ask game) it was “must count for something” anyways lololol though wow who would have guessed it’s the same ship. dok//hyuk ahahah. slightlyyyy disappointing that these two are the most hit/kudos fic but eh to be expected.

this one was a like a last min for a bday event… I don’t think I would do it but as it always go. I made it. but I do think that the most hit work being my longest posted for the ship (3000) and my most kudos is the shortest I posted for them (500).

I did like this one 💙 very cute and simple. actually when I went to reread it just now, okay I no longer mind this being my most kudos work. I love it! I love the pov and all the details I included. it’s so<3 and ahahaha I remember the end notes I wrote. maybe one day I will try the sequel fic I kinda wanted to. I do love how I got down their dynamic here too. it’s so<3333

also ahaha it’s reminding me of how much I used to just write characters sleeping. most of my fics were granted to have characters sleeping or end in sleeping. LOL. like it was kind of amazing how my second and third recent fic to posted BOTH end in sleeping. it was sooo funny when I realised it. XD

#tagged games #I forgot I had this in my draft #good thing I came back and actually finished writing it up #so it doesn’t end up like the rest of stuff that’s here for years despite me having almost finished all the questions JJFJDKDKN

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