#i think i went actually insane writing out my reaction to this chapter but it's just that good sorry bbs!!! 🩷🩷🩷 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

netegf · 2 years ago

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live image of me reading this chapter!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

The whole intention of spending time together away from the High Camp was to avoid the attention and the murmurs of the villagers about them. More importantly, to avoid running into Kaye and his new mate. But the moment their ikrans touched down in the forest, far away from the prying eyes, the pressure of performing got replaced with an uncomfortable tension. And neither Y/N nor Neteyam knew how to close that gap between them. How come weaving mats in a healing tent seemed to be easier and less stressful than taking a stroll in the lush forest of Pandora? “Say something, show her the real Neteyam,” Neteyam muttered to himself, trailing awkwardly behind Y/N.

PLS i feel like sebastian watching eric and ariel during kiss the girl IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET!!!! 🤭🤭🩷🩷🩷

“No, I get beaten up too sometimes… though not as often,” he shrugged again, this time releasing the pressure of performing, as he admitted to a vulnerability that most warriors wouldn’t, “And even when I do, I don’t worry about that stuff.” “Why not?” Y/N’s ears perked up in curiosity. “Well, let’s see…” Neteyam bit back a smile, pretending to be thinking about his answer, “I have a grandmother for Tsahik, my mother used to be the tsakarem, now my sister is a tsakarem,” he paused, hesitating to add, “And my destined mate is training under the guidance of the Tsahik. So, I think I’m in good hands.”

hearing neteyam call us his destined mate is literally making me melt into a big pile of mush!!!! i LOVE the way you write him - he's a little shy and nervous but so charming and sweet and kind and dutiful ... the best man there ever was ... i am so obsessed and in love with your neteyam ��💖

Since they were practically regulars at the tent, each warrior was used to being treated by the same one or two healers, and everyone found their places right away. Kiri too, without a second thought, was immediately grabbing her older brother and getting to work. Which left Y/N standing in front of Kaye, according to the unspoken habit that had developed over the past months. Kaye had a gash across his chest that needed close inspection, but Y/N couldn’t really move, as if her feet were suddenly glued to the ground, weighed down.

LMAO maybe i'm a messy person but im SO ready for this encounter YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!! 🤭🤭💖💖💖 i feel like im sitting with my face in my hands like 👀 as much as I'd like to see kaye suffer through the awkwardness, KIRI & NETE STEPPING IN LIKE THAT???? yeah!!! i've ascended into the astral plane 🧍🏻‍♀️🙌🏼 🥰 the way they have our back :'))))

“Stop staring,” Y/N mumbled, without looking up at him, while her hands still worked their healing magic. Neteyam shook his head to deny her request, and continued to watch her every move intently. Irritated, she hooked a finger under his chin and forcefully turned his head to the side, so that he was met with the tent wall. He chuckled weakly at the gesture but kept the new position.

now this 😭😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 is my absolute kryptonite!!!! i know i'm literally stopping every other sentence but this is what happens when ur mutuals make!!! amazing things!!! that make ur heart melt !!!! 🥰🥰 im literally GIDDY - the tenderness and intimacy of a gesture like that is so cute n sweet to me - and also the casual dominance???? sticking ur finger under this chin and playfully making him look away???? like i can die in peace goodnight sweet friends 💖💖💖

“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her. “You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “Wherever you want.”

[sobbing] h-he's so !! he's s-so!!!!

i love this line :'))) neteyam take me out of this place pls and thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗💗💗🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and also the fact that he's willing to bend the rules if it's for her???? i love the idea of them being such givers and finally getting to take a break together 😭😭😭😭

Another powerful shove, and Neteyam swiftly toppled his opponent, sending him sprawling onto his back. His spear was aimed threateningly, directly at the vulnerable spot beneath Kaye's throat. Kaye’s eyes widened in fear, as for a fleeting moment, it seemed like Neteyam might not stop. He immediately lowered his ears in a gesture of submission to the future Olo’eyktan. “Neteyam, that’s enough,” Jake's voice cut through, jolting Neteyam back to reality.

“I think it’s safe to say that she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Neteyam’s voice trembled slightly, “If I were you, I would have kept my distance. Just like you've grown accustomed to doing over the years.”

MY FACE READING THESE PARTS

“Neteyam, what the hell happened to you?” Y/N asked, her eyes turning bigger in shock. How long has he been in pain? Why didn’t he come to the healing tent and get it treated? Her mind was flooded with questions. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled, turning around to face her, though his expression was painted with guilt, “Just a few scratches.”

i am in my FEELS!!!!! the genuine concern and panic 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷🩷 the waiting despite her negative experiences with kaye and the fear of being abandoned !!!!! neteyam trying to tend to his own wounds 😭😭😭😭 the genius is killing me!!!

“It is Kaye.”

THE CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am literally so excited to see what happens next im so geeked rn 😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 i'm conflicted because a part of me hates kaye for what he's done, but the other more sensitive part of me is like :oooo (remember the times we had! the times that you and me had! do you guys remember that tiktok sound??? so old lmao)

literally incredible as ALWAYS, i am so so so obsessed 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖 i have been reading this for over an hour because of how much i want to savour and enjoy it <3333 SO HYPE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Chosen by Eywa - Crossing the Bridge - Chapter 4

← chapter 3 | chapter 5 →

contains: arranged marriage, mentions of war and grief, angst, one-sided enemies to lovers, slow burn

wc: 4.2k

chosen by eywa masterlist | general avatar masterlist

a/n: i know i haven't updated in two weeks, but it was only due to the circumstances. like i promised, i will have another chapter out during the week, bc i'm so happy that i got my visa and went to my concert, so stay stuned, babies. i hope you still like this series and will keep reading T.T

It was awkward. The way Neteyam stood in front of the tent, hesitating to walk in to avoid drawing the attention of the other healers. Awkward, how he had to shift his weight from one foot to the other every few minutes because everyone, except her, had caught sight of the future Olo'eyktan at some point. And it took Kiri to finally shove her so forcefully to look up from her task, that Y/N almost fell face first onto the ground.

“Say something, show her the real Neteyam,” Neteyam muttered to himself, trailing awkwardly behind Y/N.

She, immersed in her own thoughts, walked ahead without a clear direction, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her loincloth. Neteyam desperately tried searching for an opening to deliver, and took a few larger strides not to fall behind too far.

“So… how was your day?” he finally mustered the courage to ask.

Y/N paused in her tracks, glancing back at him with a small frown, as if she couldn’t quite make out the words he said. Neteyam stopped walking too, waiting for a response.

“The usual. Lessons,” her voice lacked any enthusiasm that could have encouraged him to go on.

“Good,” Neteyam nodded, trying to offer something else in return, “I’ve had training today.”

“How was it?”

“The usual,” he repeated Y/N’s words with an ironic snicker, recalling his morning, “It’s either getting beaten up by your fake opponents, or by the actual bad guys. Today was the pretend one.”

He shrugged to complete his explanation, something that he had borrowed from his brother whenever he made a joke, as if to give his words a humorous meaning. And though they were quite ghastly, it coaxed a small chuckle out of Y/N. Neteyam’s ears twitched at the sound with a flicker of delightful surprise. He made her smile.

“Well, you look alright for someone who got beaten up,” Y/N gestured at his woundless body, her canines peeking out.

“I’d have to turn that compliment down, since I didn’t get beaten up today,” Neteyam smirked, “You should have seen the other guy.”

“Oh, is that so? That’s always the case with you?”

“Why not?” Y/N’s ears perked up in curiosity.

“Well, let’s see…” Neteyam bit back a smile, pretending to be thinking about his answer, “I have a grandmother for Tsahik, my mother used to be the tsakarem, now my sister is a tsakarem,” he paused, hesitating to add, “And my destined mate is training under the guidance of the Tsahik. So, I think I’m in good hands.”

“Right,” Y/N snorted at the comment, and for a moment Neteyam thought that he might have crossed the line his father kept telling him about, but once she turned away from him to continue walking, he noticed a ghost of a smile on her lips, and that was enough of a confirmation to send his heart into a rapid beat.

Neteyam wasn’t even sure why the reaction made him suddenly giddy but it felt like a small victory he could showcase, if his family expresses any interest in his progress with Y/N. And as he continued to trail behind her, though they mostly remained in silence, the atmosphere seemed to ease.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“It’s okay, Y/N, let’s switch,” Kiri’s tight grip on Y/N’s arm brought her back into reality.

Y/N stood awkwardly a few steps away from the two warriors in front of her - one, who looked at her with guilt but still some lingering warmth in his eyes, and the other - who studied her earnestly, looking for any signs of discomfort, as if he could make them vanish. Kiri, who was only a moment ago treating her brother, was quick to read the situation and attempted her best to resolve it. Everything just unraveled so fast, the way the group of warriors stumbled into the tent for the first time in days, seemingly wounded after an encounter with the sky people.

Neteyam, of course, watched the scene unravel before him, but he couldn’t do much but just contain himself from making a bigger deal out of it for the whole tent to see. His eyes darted around the room, searching for his grandmother, who perhaps could help Kaye instead, but Mo’at was already busy with placing stitches on another warrior’s thigh, and it would take a while before she would be free.

“It’s alright, I can wait for somebody else to -” Kaye cleared his throat, raising his palms in the air, as if to prevent the switch up, but Kiri simply ignored him, already nudging Y/N to the side.

“That looks bad, you need to take care of it,” Neteyam gestured at Kaye’s chest with much discontent, as if acknowledging the truth made him cringe.

Defeated, Kaye stopped disagreeing, the sting of the wound was only getting more painful when he spoke, and to be quite honest, he couldn’t wait. Y/N’s expression remained stone cold, as she watched Kiri lead Kaye to the other side of the tent. Neteyam pressed his lips into a thin line, watching them two, his irritation finally starting to seep away, the farther they got. He was almost caught off guard, when he felt a pair of cold hands against his skin.

Y/N silently kneeled in front of him, starting to treat the small scraps over his arms and shoulders. Her expression was unwavering, as if nothing had happened, and he wondered what she was really thinking about. Was this the first time she saw Kaye after their fight?

“Stop staring,” Y/N mumbled, without looking up at him, while her hands still worked their healing magic.

Neteyam shook his head to deny her request, and continued to watch her every move intently. Irritated, she hooked a finger under his chin and forcefully turned his head to the side, so that he was met with the tent wall. He chuckled weakly at the gesture but kept the new position.

“You can take a breather, you know? I’m not dying, I can wait,” he suggested.

Y/N paused to stare at the side of his face for a moment, giving him a false sense of actually contemplating his offer. Of course, she was going to turn it down, there was no way she could’ve just walked out of the tent. The scolding she’d get from Mo’at wasn’t worth it.

“I can’t,” Y/N pretended to be unbothered, her hands continuing to work over his forearm, where a few smaller cuts were in need of a soothing balm.

“Why not? I won’t mind,” Neteyam turned his face again to look at her.

“Because I can’t leave my destined mate unattended, can I?” Y/N's voice dripped with irony, and she couldn't resist stealing a quick glance at him, searching for a reaction.

Neteyam's frown deepened, caught off guard by the repetition of his own words. Was that a bad slip? Maybe she took what he said in a way where Neteyam only valued Y/N for her skills, rather than her as a person. Disappointed with himself, he shook his head and then gently covered her hands with his own, halting their movements.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it that way," Neteyam's voice was low, and he waited patiently for her to meet his gaze before continuing, "This... it doesn't matter. I was just kidding. Go on, and take a breather if you need one."

“I know, Neteyam, I was only teasing,” the corners of her mouth twitched in amusement.

For a fleeting moment, Y/N allowed herself to forget that the love of her life was sitting and watching her from across the room. It felt exhilarating to indulge in the playful banter, teasing Neteyam and pretending that they were a blissful couple, free from the weight of their responsibilities.

“You’re teasing,” he breathed out with relief, “Oh… good.”

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes, “And obviously I can’t just take a break right now. Your grandmother will kill me.”

As Y/N returned to tending his scrapes and cuts, Neteyam bit his cheek, thinking for a moment. A sudden surge of courage coursed through him, and he made a decision, quickly standing up and pulling her gently to her feet. His hand found hers, and the movement surely caught the attention of those around them but Neteyam only shrugged, his eyes on Y/N. She was confused, and she couldn't help but glance nervously at Kaye, who had been watching the whole interaction with unease.

“Let’s go,” Neteyam’s thick-accented voice grabbed her attention once more, and without waiting for an answer, he was already walking out of the tent, leading her by the hand with him.

Y/N had little time to react, on the way out, her eyes caught a sight of Mo’at, who shook her head at the interruption and returned back to her task.

“Neteyam,” Y/N hissed embarrassed, but his grip on her, though gentle, remained unmoving.

“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her.

“You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched up in confusion.

“Wherever you want.”

Neteyam was never one to protest the rules. Lo’ak liked to tease him about it and call him a “goody-two-shoes,” but Neteyam was too focused on excelling rather than getting offended by his brother’s weak insults. But he also never had enough motivation to disobey. Breaking the rules only brought trouble, and after careful consideration, Neteyam had never deemed it worthwhile. But here, now, as he led Y/N away from her responsibilities to offer her a moment of peace, he decided that it was for a good reason. That it wouldn’t matter if his grandmother got mad at them and he would take the blame anyway, since he initiated it. But if it meant that she didn’t have to keep working while her past lover gawked at her, then maybe it was worth it.

When they were finally away from the tent, Y/N stood right in front of him, their hands still intertwined. Despite trying to stare down at his much bigger frame with disapproval, there were traces of gratitude in her eyes. Her tail swished with excitement, thinking of how great it felt to abandon her day’s duties and just be left alone.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice carrying an earnest tone.

"No need to thank me," Neteyam squeezed her hand, "My mother always reminds me that those who care of others also deserve care in return. I tend to forget it at times, but she's right."

He tugged at her hand once more, his gaze already wandering off to somewhere else. Without hesitation, Y/N willingly trailed behind him along the narrow path that meandered through the Hallelujah Mountains. Neteyam's grasp on her hand remained firm all throughout, neither of them sure if it was to guide her safely or simply to reassure her with his presence.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Walks with Neteyam had shifted from being an obligation to somewhat of an entertainment. They still didn’t speak much, finding peace in the quiet companionship, as they wandered through the forest, away from the eyes of the clan. In those moments, Y/N stopped feeling the pressure of pretending to be happy about her impending union with the future chief, while Neteyam was happy to reconnect with the forest. Since the relocation of the clan to the Hallelujah Mountains, his time in the forest was limited to missions or overseeing his siblings, never to revisiting his past and his roots.

And while to Y/N, this relationship had evolved into a strong foundation for friendship, Neteyam struggled with his growing protectiveness over her. It felt like she might crumble if he wasn't there to watch over, and the mere mention of her past could be her breaking point. These thoughts consumed Neteyam's restless mind, keeping him awake at night. Alongside with them, his frustration towards Kaye and the lack of respect, fueled his anger, as he delivered another forceful hit to his pretend opponent. Was it genuine protectiveness he harbored for Y/N, or was it simply his frustration with Kaye's behavior? Neteyam felt like a hypocrite.

The future chief groaned in frustration, delivering another calculated strike, disarming his opponent, Kaye. But his anger and irritation were blinding, making Neteyam lose his focus, not necessarily in his movements but within the depths of his mind. He couldn’t stop the attacks.

Kaye fell into his parents’ trap and mated with a woman of their choosing. Yet, he seemed content with their decision and he had no trouble leaving Y/N behind. Did he ever even love her, or was he simply leading her on all that time? Either way, Kaye had moved on, and Neteyam had to be the one who watched Y/N try to deal with the fact.

“Neteyam, that’s enough,” Jake's voice cut through, jolting Neteyam back to reality.

With an almost aggressive shake of a head, as if trying to force away the nagging thoughts, Neteyam took a step back and lowered his spear. The fight was clearly over and he was the winner, but it barely even felt like a victory.

Neteyam exchanged a look with his father, who was confused with his son’s behavior. To Jake, Neteyam was one of his best warriors, always in control of his emotions and precise with his movements, and it was rare that he got to witness him being overtaken with anger. With a loud sigh, Neteyam still complied with the unspoken rule within the camp and extended his hand to his opponent to pull him to his feet.

Oblivious to the fact that the fight was twice as violent because Neteyam had developed a personal vendetta against him, or perhaps he only chose to be ignorant of it, Kaye offered a small, appreciative smile in response to the extended hand, accepting the help. He dusted off his back and thighs, and before Neteyam could sign a goodbye and leave, Kaye quickly moved to stand in his way.

“I need to talk to Y/N,” he announced, forcing Neteyam to stop in his tracks, “You must see her, right?”

Neteyam clenched his jaw, struggling to contain the anger that still hasn’t died down from the fight. Just when he started to get the things moving for himself and Y/N, just when it seemed like Kaye wouldn’t hurt her anymore, he was suddenly wanting to talk to her? She wouldn’t hide if she wanted to see Kaye, would she?

“Ouch, I guess I deserved that,” Kaye winced at the comment, “Listen, I am truly sorry for the way things turned out but I never meant to hurt her. I just want to apologize.”

Neteyam simply shook his head, indicating that the explanation fell short of convincing him. If Kaye wanted to speak to Y/N, it would only be on her terms, Neteyam certainly wasn’t going to take part in helping him.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Y/N sat in front of the healing tent in silence, the small wrinkle in between her eyebrows was turning deeper within each passing minute. She was annoyed with Neteyam, who didn’t show up, but mostly she was annoyed with herself for still being there and waiting for him. Her lesson had ended long ago, their usual routine of going for a walk right after was simply abandoned, and Neteyam was nowhere to be found. She knew that he came home a few hours ago, when she heard the shouts of the warriors, and some even came in for a check-up at the tent. So, if he was safe, it puzzled her why he hadn't come. Did he seize an opportunity and forget to warn her not to wait?

She shouldn’t be annoyed though. Wasn’t this exactly what she wished for? To spend less time with him, to be left alone. But it didn’t feel like a win at all, just a let-down. The times when Kaye would sometimes stand her up floated her mind with insecurity. Though it didn’t happen often, she got hurt deeply every time. No amount of apologies from Kaye could ever help her overcome the fear of him simply not showing up one day and giving up on her completely.

Shaking her head, disappointed with herself for wasting time, she stood up, ready to leave. To her surprise, just as she rose, Neteyam appeared right in front of her.

"You waited," he uttered softly, a mix of confusion and gratitude in his voice.

“You made me wait,” she retorted, her irritation impossible to hide as her eyes bore into his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Neteyam raised his palms in the air, offering a defeat.

And that’s when Y/N noticed it. Before she could unleash the angry words she had rehearsed in her mind for the past hour, or fully grasp the tinge of pain in his voice, her eyes caught sight of something. A streak of red smeared across Neteyam's forearms, clumsily wiped but not enough to be completely rid of. Almost as if he tried taking care of it himself and failed miserably. Her amber eyes swiftly traced the path of the color, trailing from his ribcage and vanishing around his body, and without a word she circled him, to find his back, covered in awkwardly arranged leaves. She guessed that Neteyam had placed them himself, since some of the wounds were only partially covered, and there was dried off blood all over his skin.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, turning around to face her, though his expression was painted with guilt, “Just a few scratches.”

“These are not just scratches, they look horrible,” Y/N gestured at him once more, “Why didn’t you come to your grandmother? You came home hours ago, no?”

Neteyam flinched at her words. They held the truth, but he didn't want to admit it. There was something embarrassing about getting that many wounds on his back. It meant he hadn't noticed the enemy behind him, which also signified his lack of attentiveness. But how could he pay attention when his whole reality was shifting around him? Neteyam took a step away from her, trying to force a small smile.

“Since you had to wait for so long, let’s go on that walk now, hm? I’ll try to make it up to you,” he tried nonchalantly.

But Y/N was quick to close the distance between him. She grasped his hand and without a word pulled him into the healing tent. Once inside, she gestured for Neteyam to take a seat on one of the rarely used old wooden chairs, thinking that being on her feet would be more convenient when treating his back.

“Seriously, I am okay, we can still go on that walk,” Neteyam tried to reason, but she was already hissing at him in annoyance to stop talking.

His ears lowered in defeat, which he desperately didn’t want to accept, but also secretly had craved. Because even though Neteyam was used to being the one taking care of others, it felt like a sun on his skin, knowing that somebody else was there for him. And he could tell she was mad just by the way she treated him with silence, but the anger was coming from a place of caring.

The wounds he bore were throbbing with pain, located in a difficult-to-reach place. Neteyam hadn't intended to be late; it simply took him longer than expected to dress his injuries. Yet, his heart fluttered with a mixture of relief and gratitude when he spotted Y/N still seated in front of the healing tent, patiently waiting for him. She could have easily left hours ago, so why did she choose to stay?

“You have a whole family of healers, why didn’t you just ask them for help? Why didn’t you ask me?” Y/N sighed.

Neteyam's ears twitched at the touch, a subtle response to the gentleness of her fingers on his back. Soon, the leaf bandages he had grown weary of were being carefully removed, and as she worked, a wave of empathy flowed through her, her tone turning into a softer, more understanding one.

“I know that there is some kind of pride that comes with being the Olo’eyktan’s son, and also this pressure of being perfect and never showing your vulnerabilities. But when you get hurt, Neteyam, none of it should matter.”

“I know, you’re right,” Neteyam admitted guiltily, hanging his head, “I just…”

Y/N tsksed at the incomplete explanation with discontent, taking off the last bandage. Now, fully exposed, Neteyam’s back was covered in multiple gashes arranged at sharp angles around his spine. Fortunately, they hadn't pierced deep enough to cause nerve damage, which meant that Neteyam was quick to react. A damp cloth grazed his skin as Y/N gently wiped away the brown stains of the dried off blood.

“Whether we like it or not, we are a team now,” she continued after a pause, “So you can rely on me.”

He nodded, even though he couldn't see her face. There was a sincerity in her words, something different from before. It didn't feel like mere obligation; it felt like she genuinely meant it, like she truly wanted him to rely on her.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

His earpiece suddenly crackled to life, interrupting the moment, and Neteyam immediately tensed up at the sound of his father’s worried voice. He sat up, and pressed a finger to his wired necklace, speaking into it.

“I am safe, dad, what happened?” Neteyam questioned.

Worried, and unable to hear Jake’s voice on the other end, Y/N quickly came in front of Neteyam, searching his face for clues of what was happening. The future Olo’eyktan seemed to grow more concerned, as he remained quiet to hear his father.

“What is it?” Y/N whispered impatiently, and then she felt it.

Y/N's stomach plummeted as she observed the transformation of Neteyam's expression. What was initially concern now gave way to a haunting mix of guilt and remorse. It was as if he carried the weight of something deeply troubling, something that was unfixable, probably too difficult to say out loud.

“How many of them?” Neteyam spoke again, his eyes still glued to Y/N’s, “And who exactly got shot?”

It felt like the world around her came to a stop, as in these seconds of waiting, Y/N had imagined hundreds of scenarios running through her head. And it could be anything, but the way Neteyam rose to his feet in a hurry, she feared that the worst one was coming to life.

“Is it him?” Y/N’s voice cracked, and Neteyam nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“It is Kaye.”

a/n: once again, i am so hopeful that people still care about this series, even though it took me two weeks to upload a new chapter. please let me know how you feel about this. i rushed with the proofreading, so i'm sorry if there are too many mistakes or repetitions

♡ taglist ♡ : @kiri-tuk @samiiistarss @afro-hispwriter @iwantjaketosullyme @thexplosivegirl @peachinsomniac @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @koala-wonderland @sakura-onesan @dimplesxx @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @theycallmesia @crazy4books1 @empiricsad @summertimedepression @vihelm @cleverzonkwombatsludge @ducks118 @couragemydearheart @xstarsmvxz @jkeluv @qtkat @marsbars09 @buckysleftarm420 @soleilmoon @blueslxt-primary @kavyaas-world @books-for-summer @tojis-discord-kitten @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @jackiehollanderr @totesnothere04

#recs #i think i went actually insane writing out my reaction to this chapter but it's just that good sorry bbs!!! 🩷🩷🩷

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thebadjoe · 4 months ago

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BAD JOE'S DRDT CH.2 CRIME SOLVING THEORY PART 6

Wow! It's been a long while, but it's finally here! DRDT Chapter 2 is back with part 2 starting since more than a week ago!

...Oh? What's that? There's some reveals that is damaging my theory and I should get to fixing? Awwww, man.... what a drag.... I am so doomed... nanchatte!

Anyways, hi! It's me, the dude who makes-overly-complex-and-ridiculously-long-theories-in-the-hopes-of-trying-to-solve-the-murder-case-that-not-many-people-agree-with-for-more-reasons-than-my-theory's-word-count. (Okay, the last part about the reasons is probably not true... yet!)

I am back yet again with some more updates regarding my theory.

NOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!! PLEASE, I DON'T WANNA READ ANOTHER GODDAMN DICTIONARY LENGTH OF A THEORY POST!!!!

Woah! Calm down, imaginary self that is under the impression that some people were way too overwhelmed by my latest part of the theory post! You have nothing to worry about!

It would be silly of me to rewrite all of it again with some small changes. I will of course link up my part 5 later as source of reference, but really, all I'm gonna be doing here today is point out the newest problems with my theory ever since episode 12 and 13 and give my personal thoughts on those.

Also, to make sure that people hasn't forgotten what I've been all about since the beginning, I will do a short recap of my theory, displaying only what's most relevant to the murder case.

Besides, ain't no way I'm writing something this long ever again (except for maybe trying to solve the future chapters, but that's a matter for the far future).

With that said, I feel obliged to point out that this is spoilers for the fangan Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2, up until episode 13.

With that out of the way, let's get to it!

Hey look! I still remember how to use that show more button again, hurray! (I'm really sorry again to @1moreff-creator and everyone else who's been reading my very first posts last year that didn't have a show more button)

So, first things first, I'd like to apologize in advance because as amazing the episode 12 and 13 were, I will not be doing a reaction post of said episodes. I think I'm just too lazy to actually display my whole stream of consciousness through two whole videos and I think it is safe to say that practically all of us had a very similar reaction to those episodes.

What was the common reaction, you may ask? Well, it's simple, really... it went something like... OMG, THIS IS SO FUCKING HYPE! OMG!!! THAT WAS SO INSANE!!! THE DRAMA!!! DAVID BEING DAVID!!! THE LEVI REVEAL!!! THE FLASHBACK PART 2 SCENE!!! OMG, WHAT IS EDEN DOING?!! AREI IS HOLDING DAVID'S HANDS?! WE'RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THE MURDER METHODS?!?! OMG, SO GOOD!!!

...right? Yeah! I thought so! :D

Although I may not be showing proper and precise reactions to these episodes, if you're interested, I'd definitly recommend reading @venus-is-thinking 's, reactions on episode 12 and episode 13, @1moreff-creator 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13 and @accirax 's reactions on episode 12 and episode 13. They're pretty good reads (and no, I'm not just saying this because they all believe that Eden is the culprit, I swear!).

And for those who are totally blind or new to my shenanigans, yes, I do believe that Eden is the culprit behind this murder case.

There is indeed a few problems that arose ever since the latest episodes, so to make sure that everyone is up to speed with what I'm gonna be talking about, I'm now going to be doing a short recap of the events, according to me.

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THE RECAP

DAY 1 : The day where everyone receives their mixed up secrets and explore the second floor. DAY 2 : The day where the attempted murder on Ace happened. DAY 3 : The day where Whit suggests David to chill for the evening in the relaxation room. DAY 4 : The day (morning) of the body discovery announcement.

Ever since Arei bullied Eden who then cried and exited the playground on DAY 2, that was what triggered Eden to decide to commit murder for the sake of escaping this hellish killing game. Knowing that her secret is that she kissed a girl, I deduced that she's probably trying to escape because she misses her beloved dearly.

So while she was off screen during most of that day, she spent time making plans for the murder set up and narrative, which is why she decided to share Arturo's secret (as seen in the flashback).

During the evening of DAY 2, Ace was working out in the gym, then he hears a conversation happening between David and Arei in the relax room. The conversation that Ace was quietly listening to did not happen in the evening of DAY 3, but rather the evening of DAY 2. Ace lied about when he was listening to that conversation.

At some point during the conversation or perhaps even after the conversation, Eden sneaks up on Ace and knocks him out with the turpentine that anyone could've gotten access to that day. Ace is Eden's chosen murder victim.

Sometime later, Eden eitheir used a letter or called out Arei's name to lure her into the playground or somewhere close to knock her unconscious with that very same turpentine. She then moves Arei's body into the relaxation room to lock her up inside because of the specific nighttime rules regarding that room.

Eden also brought old spares of clothing to cover Arei's body to make sure she doesn't get stained with starch from the water misting formula from the relaxation room.

During the night of DAY 2, she prepares the murder mechanism in the gym with some needed tools from the storage room and some wire that she took out from possibly a grandfather clock that she may have in her dorm. I deduced it as such because of Whit's description of everyone's dorms being suited to their needs.

I also deduced that there is actually a switch to turn on and off the fans, which is important since the attempted murder involved the fans. As Eden finished setting it up, as she was about to clear up with evidence, she heard someone using the elevator.

She hid in the dress up room, then Nico enters the second floor, looking for Ace to kill him. As Nico explores the gym, Teruko shortly enters the elevator to get to the second floor as well.

Teruko, looking for her spares, runs into Eden, who was hidden in the dress up room. After some talk, they heard a loud noise coming from the gym, which they both take a look inside.

Upon seeing this mess of a crime, Eden realised that her murder plan failed and that she needs to come up with a plan B really quick. So while she is taking time to "process this emotionally", Teruko was investigating.

Eden finally comes up with a plan B and figured that she needed to get her hands on the roll of tape ASAP. She managed to do so with a sleight of hand when Ace "suddenly wakes up", knocking Eden out of the way, distracting Teruko in the process.

Later that night, Eden proceeds with her plan B by making a murder mechanism in the playground. She also took the rope from the storage room. Once it's all properly set up, all's left was waiting for the relaxation to unlock at 8:00 AM on DAY 3.

In the morning of DAY 3, she retrieves Arei's unconscious body and proceeds with murdering Arei. Then, she proceeds to conceal the body somewhat behind the curtains in the relaxation room. She also grabs her glove, her monopad and the necessary materials in the dress up room for the next step of her plan.

She spends the rest of the morning to prepare her disguise trick. Then during lunchtime, Eden spends a short amount of time disguised as Arei to hide the actual time of death.

Once lunchtime is over, she returns to eitheir her or Arei's dorm to remove the disguise, spend time cleaning up, relax, power nap, etc. Then, during the evening of DAY 3, she spends time with Hu to fabricate her perfect alibi.

Later that evening, David explores the relaxation room. That's when he notices something wrong with the room and becomes the first person to discover Arei's dead body.

For some personal reasons, David brings the body back into the playground and hangs it by the swingset. Eitheir he or Eden (earlier in the morning) balls up the clothes and hides it in the closet of the dress-up room. Then, in the morning of DAY 4, David grabs everyone's attention to the fact that Arei is missing right before the secrets reveal. Then fast forward a bit, then we get the BDA of Arei

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And there ya go, that's my recap regarding how I believe the murder case happened. Pretty short, eh?

HELL NO!!! THAT WAS STILL PRETTY LONG!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Eh... I guess I couldn't really make it that shorter, my bad! If I tried to make it any shorter than that, it would've been extremely confusing.

Ah! Speaking of which, if you're confused in the sense that it feels like none of this should work at all, and there's a lot of contradictions and whatnot, then I would heavily recommend reading my actual theory post. I am not going to spend time refuting with people in the comments about points I've already pointed out in my previous post.

However, if there are things that are unclear to you, things that you do not understand and want to know what I'm talking about, please, feel free to ask away! I will help in any way I can.

With that out the way, I guess I can now start with pointing out the pr-

HAH! THERE IS A MAJOR ISSUE WITH YOUR THEORY!!! BASED ON EPISODE 12, THE MURDER COULD'VE ONLY HAPPENED IN THE MORNING OF DAY 4 BECAUSE OF THE BODY SWING! YOU'RE DONE FOR!

Ah... yeah... that! Of course! That's not a problem!

!!!

Let's talk about it first, shall we? :D

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AREI'S BODY SWING : CONFIRMED TIME OF DEATH???

I'd like to come clean with something, everyone. Ever since I came up with the theory that murder happened at a totally unexpected time, there was something that was constantly bothering me.

That's right, I was very well aware of the body swing happening during the BDA ever since the beginning.

HUH?! Then all this time, you wrote all of this despite knowing that?!

Correct! I'm really sorry about that, but please, understand that I had a very good reason for it. For you see... everytime I saw it, I was often under the impression that this was simply an eerie effect / animation, to give a more dramatic intensity towards the BDA, without meaning anything. I legit thought it could be a thing, I swear!

But despite all that... I couldn't help but feel uneasy about it. Deep down, I felt like that maybe there was an actual meaning to it, maybe it was an actual clue that I shouldn't disregard. But I figured that because of my theory beliefs, then it would be rather unlikely that it would be used as evidence.

But alas, I was wrong about that. The body swing plays a very important rule in determining what happened in this murder case. I cannot deny that fact, especially since Teruko brought it up, plain as day. Despite it seeming like it damages my theory, I'm thankful that the dev finally cleared that little doubt I had since then.

Then you admit it, the murder actually happened in the mor-

Oh, not so fast! Let's not jump to conclusions just yet, alright? Arei's body swinging by the swing set doesn't quite exactly prove that the murder occured during the morning of DAY 4. The body swing only proves that someone messed with the body by the swingset.

W-What?! That doesn't make sense! The murder clearly happened in the morning of DAY 4!

Nuh-uh, not quite. You believe it clearly happened in the morning because that's what the cast concluded on top of Charles pointing out that the culprit could've clearly fake the time of death by saving the fishes for later.

But unless we have decisive evidence that the murder happened in the morning, we can't be 100% sure that the murder happened in the morning of DAY 4.

From the looks of it, you just seem very desperate, if you ask me.

At first, when episode 12 released, I kind of was... up until I figured out a fairly logical solution to it. That's right! I have a way to explain who made the body swing and why.

You're not going to suggest that David did all of what he supposedly did in the evening of DAY 3, but instead in the morning of DAY 4, right?!

Nope! Not at all. Disregarding the facts that it wouldn't really make sense and that he'd have to move the body out of the relax room anyways before nighttime (because of the water misting rules), David actually has an alibi in the morning of DAY 4.

(As does Veronika too as she was with them in the cafeteria)

With all of these reasons mentioned above, as much as I initially wanted to make it somehow possible that David came back to the crime scene to mess with the body somehow, it just isn't possible.

So instead, someone else did it.

Then out with it already, you staller! Who is it?!

There is only one possible candidate that would make the most sense in that scenario : Eden. Eden is the person who messed with Arei's body in the morning of DAY 4.

WHHAAAAT?!?! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! THAT'S SO RISKY!

That's what I initially thought at first, not gonna lie. But then... something hit me : Eden doesn't have an alibi for the morning of DAY 4 eitheir.

I thought that there would be absolutely no need for Eden to come back to the crime scene a certain short amount of time before the BDA, so instead, I needed to reverse my way of thinking.

What could she possibly aim to do that would prompt her to come back to the crime scene last minute?

Considering the facts (based on my theory, mind you) that she killed Arei in the morning of DAY 3, hid the body somewhere in the relaxation room, built up an evening to night alibi with Hu and that David was the first person to discover it during the evening, there is a simple explanation behind it.

Arei's BDA was meant to be triggered much earlier than the morning of DAY 4. The original intent behind this whole scheme was to have the BDA trigger during the evening of DAY 3.

That doesn't make sense!

No, that's wrong! It does make a whole lot of sense. Think about it. Let's say you were a participant in this killing game and were in David's shoes during the evening of DAY 3... you come across a dead body in the relaxation, what would you do?

!!!

That's right, you wouldn't just mess with the body and move it somewhere else, now would you? Aside from freaking out, the most natural and human thing to do would be to gather help.

If it were anyone else than David who discovered the body in that exact scenario, they would cry out for help, tell everyone that they found Arei dead inside the relaxation room, which would then result in a body discovery announcement.

But what if the person who found the body were to personally ask for Hu's and Eden's help, wouldn't that ruin her plan since it wouldn't trigger the BDA?

There's an easy solution to that. Eden could've simply decided to find more people to share the news to meet up with the corpse. This wouldn't ruin her plan in the slightest.

Quite the opposite, actually. If the body were to be discovered and trigger the BDA during the evening, it would solidify her air tight alibi even further as she wouldn't have any possible timeframe to commit murder in the evening as she was spending time with her friend Hu.

Ugh, so what? It didn't really happen anyways because of David being David! That doesn't change anything!

Actually, it does change things considerably. If you put yourself in the culprit's perspective where the whole intent was to have the body discovery happen in the evening of DAY 3 and that during the whole night, nothing happened, you would certainly find that very strange.

The culprit would be clearly confused, yet really curious to find out what even happened.

Couldn't she have taken a look much later during the night?

Perhaps, but she figured it would've been pointless. The reason why is that if she thought that nobody found the body, then the body would've still remained hidden in the relaxation room which would then be currently locked away because of the water misting.

So instead of checking it out during the late night of DAY 3, Eden decided to investigate during the very early morning of DAY 4, sometime past 7:30 AM.

But the relaxation room is still locked up until 8:00 AM! Why not wait until then?

It's simple! She just wanted to be there a little bit in advance to make sure she can enter the room as early as possible. And so... while she is waiting for the relaxation room to unlock, she probably figured that she should take a look around the other rooms, why not?

And thus, that leads to Eden finding the body being hung by the swingset, alongside fishes scattered around the floor for some reason.

To reconfirm, I still believe that David is the first person who discovered Arei's dead body in the relaxation room and that he's responsible for hanging her body alongside placing those fishes by the playground.

Okay, Eden discovers that the body has been moved to the playground? What now? Everything's already in place, so what could she possibly do with the dead body?

Well, since the BDA was not triggered on the evening of DAY 3, she figured that she may as well put Arei's monopad back into the corpse's pockets.

But what about her missing glove? Why didn't she return that as well if she wanted to return her monopad?

That's a good point, that's for sure. But there are two easy fixes to this counter argument. First one being that she simply forgot about the gloves. No one's really perfect, after all. She was so concerned about the body not being discovered yet that this completly slipped her mind.

The second fix would be that it would've been way too risky to try to retrieve the glove. Maybe initially, Eden, after she removed her disguise, she placed the clothes and the glove back into Arei's dorm. So if she wanted to retrieve the glove, she'd have to return to Arei's room, unlocking it with a monopad that isn't her own.

Would she really risk that again after making this much progress without getting caught so far? Like imagine if she tried to take that risk one last time only to get caught, that would be quite the devastating result, wouldn't it?

Ok, fine. Nevermind the gloves. Is that all she did?

Pretty much, yeah. She returned the monopad back into her pockets, which moved the body somewhat.

...

Well, it's also possible that she tripped and moved the body even more by accident. Or perhaps she felt like she was in such a hurry to avoid getting found out that she accidently bumped into Arei's dead body.

...Are you kidding me? There's no way that's gonna be enough to move the body for this long!

Well... maybe her being there at exactly 7:30 AM is not the exact time. She could've been there a couple minutes before 8:00 AM, which could make this possible.

But that's ridiculous! There's no way Eden is strong enough to make the body swing that way. To make the body swing for a good amount of time, she'd need more than just accidently bumping into the body! It needs considerable force.

And I'll stop you there. If you've read my last theory post, you should know by now that I'm a firm believer that because it's a work of fiction, anything that seems unlikely can become possible.

The main thing we should take from Arei's body swinging during the BDA is that at some point in time during the morning, someone messed with the body, proving that someone was there during the morning of DAY 4.

And there you go, that's my whole explanation as to how Arei's body was swinging during the BDA that doesn't necessarily mean that the murder occured during that exact morning.

If you're not quite convinced yet, there is a certain part of my theory that begins to make a lot more logical sense with this solution in mind. Take a look at this!

Thanks to the solution I suggested, these two lines become a lot more fitting to my updated theory. Here's why!

If Eden were to explore and find the body hanging by the swing set during the morning of DAY 4, she would know that at least 1 person found the body, but not who exactly.

Because of Whit's silly comment, Eden immediatly thought of the body in the playground and jumped to the worst conclusion : Whit is the person who found the body first.

So if they were to open the door to the playground, the BDA would not trigger since Eden is the culprit. So in a moment of panic, Eden uttered : "Teruko, wait--".

It is still pretty much the same as what I had in mind according to the previous part of my theory post, except that it works a whole lot better now that Eden personally saw the actual state of the dead body in the morning of DAY 4.

So there you have it. This seemingly major problem for my theory actually turned out to be very beneficial for my theory after all! Ah, the joys of making logical sounding deductions! My theory should be saf-

HAH! YOU THINK YOUR THEORY IS SAFE FROM HARM YET?! WRONG!!!! IN EPISODE 13, THEY ACTUALLY SHOWED HOW THE MURDER MECHANISM WORKED! NOT ONLY IS EDEN TOO WEAK TO OPERATE IT, BUT THEY PUT FISH WATER INSIDE THOSE JUGS! SINCE THEY REVEALED THAT MURDER METHOD, IT HAS TO BE THE SOLUTION. YOUR THEORY IS RUINED! GOOD DAY SIR!

Oh, you mean this?

Oh no, this murder mechanism is different from mine and this one requires a certain amount of strength that Eden possibly doesn't have! And the fishes! Since they brought it up, then there's no way my theory can work! Whatever shall I do??? It's joever.... just kidding!

I don't mean to alarm you guys, but the current proposed murder mechanism idea actually has flaws. Let's talk some more about the murder mechanism in the playground, shall we? :)

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TERUKO'S CURRENT MURDER MECHANISM IDEA : RIGHT OR WRONG???

Before I get into it, I'd like to remind everyone that just because we've been shown how the murder may have been done for the first time means that's how it actually happened. Let's not forget that they spent so much time arguing and discussing about the secrets that they barely ever talked about the murder case in itself.

So if anything, episode 13 is practically just them beginning their actual work! Mistakes are bound to happen. We shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Besides, there is actually a problem with this murder mechanism.

I'll present it to you in pictures to show you what I'm talking about.

The taped up wrists. This was practically the decisive proof that this wasn't a suicide nor could it have been an assisted suicide. So now that they've introduced a murder mechanism in an actual episode... what's actually the point of the taped wrists in that scenario?

If the culprit used exactly this kind of murder mechanism, then there would be absolutely no need to tape up her wrists together.

Maybe it was to stop Arei from trying to struggle?

Nope. If that was the case, we would've seen much more signs of struggle coming from Arei. There may be scuffs on the ground, but there's absolutely no other form of injury on Arei aside from her broken neck.

Well, I saw a theory where the accomplice was Levi and he could've easily overpower her!

(I believe that was something that @1moreff-creator theorized, if I recall? At least, that was the theory pre part 2)

It used to be borderline possible, but not this time anymore! Thanks to the first two episodes of part 2 of chapter 2, it seems extremely unlikely that Levi wanted to work with the culprit as an accomplice.

Not only because of what we find out regarding his secret, what kind of character he is, but also because of something he said in episode 12.

I don't know about you, but this doesn't look like something an accomplice would say at all, right? If the culprit was someone who didn't have an alibi in the evening, it would be a different story, but the most fitting theory for having Levi work as an accomplice is to work for Eden, who happens to have an alibi in the evening as you already know.

So since we gotta take Levi out of the equation, then we don't really have much other possible candidates who could've easily overpower Arei to the point where taping up her wrists would've helped better on that regard.

Therefore, the most logical solution would be that Arei was knocked unconscious with the turpentine. But since that's the most likely scenario, then what's up with the taped wrists?

If the taped wrists weren't used to prevent any remote chance for Arei to try to get out of this situation, then it must've been used as part of the murder mechanism.

But since the murder mechanism as shown by Teruko doesn't explain the taped up wrists whatsoever, then this becomes a discrepancy. Therefore, that can't be quite the correct answer to solving the how this murder mechanism works.

And since this murder mechanism idea is flawed, it also means that there's no guarantee that the jugs contained fish water inside, they could've simply gathered water somewhere else or perhaps there jugs were already filled with clean water to begin with.

Because this murder mechanism idea is flawed, there's no guarantee that the culprit used this method which required some unknown amount of strength, but an amount of strength regardless (unless the author wants to pass it off as anyone could've done it since it's easier to do it by spinning it, I'm not sure).

Because of that flaw, my theory isn't affected by the murder mechanism idea that Teruko suggested since there is no guarantee that this is the correct answer.

So yeah, there's no problem whatsoever! Also, as far as I'm aware, since the release of the latest episodes, I have a very logically sound reason to explain the taped up wrists as shown in part 5 of my theory.

To give you a small reminder, it was for something like this!

(Whole murder mechanism not properly shown in the drawing because I'm lazy as heck, but just take a close attention to the arms)

By having Arei's arms go between the pillars of the seasaw, you can make it so that she can't get out of it by taping her wrists together, which plays an important role in the murder mechanism. Not going to elaborate further, if you want to know more, you gotta read the big post right there!

And there you have it! Those were the two main concerns that could've negatively affect my theory, but fortunately for me, it doesn't. In fact, it supports it even more than before.

Especially regarding the David / Arei conversation flashback (shown from David's memory's perspective). This conversation told us a lot more between these two, do you know what that means?

That's right! It means that Ace is full of shit! There's no way he didn't hear anything else. The only way he could've not hear anything else is if he gets snuck up from behind and gets knocked out with the turpentine, but it could've easily simply been Ace witholding that information to make David look more suspicious.

Therefore, if he lied about this, he could've also easily lied about when he actually overheard that conversation for his own selfish gains!

There's also a few couple other points that could further support my theory, but I don't feel like going over every single little detail as of now. I mainly wanted to solve these two issues and nothing else.

So, DRDTers, I need to ask you the following : Do you still believe that I am delusional with this overly complex theory of mine? :)

Thanks for reading another one of my big posts, as usual!

Edit : Go read the finale of my theory next, it's worth it!

#drdt #drdt spoilers #drdt theory #drdt solve #danganronpa despair time #I can't believe I'm doing this again #Can't wait to see what's gonna happen in episode 14 #I remain undaunted

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banana-pancake5 · 2 months ago

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Dude I finally read the neon void and I’m going a little crazy.

I just kinda really really love it. I knew it was good but I didn’t expect it to be that good. So that was pleasantly surprising. I also for some reason didn’t expect to get Leo narrating for whatever reason but I’m so glad we did. It makes me so sad the misunderstandings the boys had when Leo’s being Leo but with a darker appearance (and being so unnecessarily aggressive with the remarks toward himself like baby no 😭)

I can’t exactly speak from experience but the way grief was written was so so nice. I guess I could be completely off base bc I have yet to experience that type of grief (the perks of not getting close to too many people I suppose) but it feels really realistic. I super appreciate it bc I’m gonna use it as an actual reference bc it’s written in a way that’s understandable? I guess? Like I didn’t really get the specifics of grief before and I guess I can’t really now, but I do have a better grasp I think. Ah it made me hurt a lot tho

I’m still kinda taking it all in but all of everything was just so so good. I would love to hear about all your favorite moments and aspects bc I feel a ramble on my bones but it needs to be awakened teehee

Yesssss im so glad you read it dcisjncedjindecinwdijwdcnijcen it so GOOD!!! (Also I literally went insane when I read it XD)

A reason I’m so obsessed with TNV is how Leo is characterized. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I LOVE crazy/insane characters Idk what it is about them but they always peak my interest. And the way @/sugarpasteltmnt writes Leo’s madness just feels so real!!! Insane characters + unreliable narrator (especially if it’s the insane character) = NCSDJHDSCNDJSJCN#NJISCDNDC I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! The misunderstandings of the brothers is also written so incredibly well. Again, it just feels so real. Their theories of who Neon Void is, their greif, their reactions to the taunts, etc. is all so realistic dfhuncfeuhncefihncufehneuhfcn

Oh and I also want to mention this fic made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. That does not happen with me!!! Especially with a fic????? Unheard of. (Specifically it was the Highschool TV show chapter)

Another thing I really like is how Donnie is written!!! I don’t even know what specifically about it, it’s just perfect!!!

Yeah I know what you mean!! The greif is written incredibly well, and though I haven’t experienced a loss like that, it definitely seems like a valid and (like I’ve said above) realistic way for each of them to react. I think it definitely does give me a better grasp on how some people grieve as well!

Hmmmm more of my favorite moments and aspects let’s seeeeeee

OKAY WELL THE WHOLE SPACE ODDITY SCENE MAKES ME WANNA SOB AND DIE OF EXCITEMENT AT THE SAME TIME. ESPECIALLY, IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY SEEN IT, LOOK AT THIS ANIMATIC BY @bowandbrush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS PHENOMENAL!!!! I think a (small) part of this is I’ve realized when a song I know and like is referenced in a fic it makes me go “edcjhefncihednchdiencsidjncdeijnjicedniscdjnds”

The 2012 reference with the whole rap makes me EXPLODE (ESPECIALLY DUM DUM LEOS PART NEDCIJNCDEEIJDNCIJEDCNJIDENC STOP BEUNG SO MEAN TO YOURSELF BUD)

Literally every scene with Leo is so cinimatic I can’t ndeicndwuchsdnuhnd

Whenever Leo is talking with his brothers and feels their Ninpo and such is so heartwarming and tragic

Oh! I really like the detail of him HATING that Cassandra is like “a part of the family” because it makes sense (SHE WAS IN THE FOOT CLAN, FROM LEOS PERSPECTIVE WHY WOULD THEY TRUST HER!!?!?!)

The chapter when Mikey rips off his arm is fantastic (I really like Leo’s reaction!!!)

I’m trying to remember all these scenes rn but I think that’s all I’ll say for now

If this invokes the ramble inside of you, you know I’d love to hear it!!!!!

#TNV IS SO GOOOOOOOOD #AHHHHH #I wanna go read the recovery chapters #I’ve only read like 1 or 2 of them for some reason #moo’s moots #TNV #the neon void #neon void #Rottmnt #M3B fic recs

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bambirex · 1 year ago

Text

Keep My Heart In Your Gold

Pairing: Geraskier

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia

Additional tags: friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, sad geralt of rivia, supportive jaskier, trust, grief/mourning, renfri's brooch, inspired by season 3 episode 8

Rating: teen and up audiences

Word count: 2,579 words

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Geralt always carries a brooch around with him. Jaskier wants to know why.

Author's notes: I can't stop thinking about Jaskier knowing what the brooch meant to Geralt, like, the implications of that??? It must have taken a huge amount of trust on Geralt's side to tell Jaskier this and since i'm insane about this whole thing, i decided I wanna write how that conversation went.

Read on Ao3

The brooch always seemed out of place for Jaskier. It wasn't exactly the type of accessory that you would imagine a dark, brooding witcher carrying around: pure gold and shiny gemstones, and delicate carvings that almost made the brooch look like it had an eternal smile.

Yet, Geralt always had it with him, strapped to the hilt of his sword. The sight of it was a little comical, here and there, to have something so pretty stick out during an intense fight with a gruesome monster. If the brooch got covered in blood, Geralt would wash it off with such gentle, caring movements, as if it wasn't just a simple object, but something more important.

But Geralt wasn't such a sentimental kind, was he?

Jaskier has been traveling with Geralt for a couple of months when he first brought up the brooch.

"It's pretty," he pointed out one evening as they sat by the fire, the orange glow of the flames reflecting off the gold.

Geralt followed Jaskier's eyes that fixated on the brooch. He let out a quiet grunt and returned to tending to the fire. Jaskier waited for a few moments. When no more reaction came from Geralt, he continued.

"How long have you had this?"

"A while," was all Geralt said. He didn't even look at Jaskier. Usually, Geralt wore a closed-off, strict expression. At first, Jaskier thought it was only reserved for him and his somewhat annoying shenanigans, but he's quickly learnt that it was just simply Geralt's face. There was something else to it now, though, a deeper, darker emotion, like bitterness.

"Was it a gift?" Jaskier pressed further as he scooted closer to Geralt. "I mean, it was, wasn't it? It looks expensive. Almost like it came from someone royalty."

Something flashed in Geralt’s eyes as he looked at him - like a fleeting moment of anguish. Whatever it was, it made Jaskier's chest tighten.

"How do you know that?"

"I hang around royalty a lot, Geralt, I'm a bard," Jaskier reminded him. "I know what kind of jewelry they wear, so..."

It wouldn't make much sense for Geralt, who famously despised royalty, to accept a gift from someone like that, let alone keep it. Whoever gave it to him, they must have been special.

"It's time for you to sleep," Geralt told him, not bothering with a reply to the actual question. Jaskier snorted.

"You're putting me to bed like a child?"

"You are a child," Geralt replied with a small grin. That made Jaskier sputter, but he did take his place on his bedroll all the same.

The brooch was the last thing he saw before he fell asleep.

All of Jaskier's attempts at trying to ask about the brooch turned out to be futile. Geralt either completely ignored Jaskier until he gave up, or he changed the subject right away. If Jaskier was a little too pushy, Geralt would even snap at him and tell him to stop being so nosy.

Jaskier wondered why Geralt was so apprehensive about telling him. As the years have gone by, their bond deepened, and the witcher opened up to him more and more. He trusted Jaskier, that much was obvious: he left him alone with Roach without hesitation, told him about Kaer Morhen and the witcher trials, entrusted him with picking out the right potions for him after a fight. He let him give him baths, for Melitele's sake, it was obvious that Geralt knew Jaskier was someone he could rely on.

And yet, he refused to tell him about the brooch, over and over again.

"It's from someone important," Jaskier noted one day. It wasn't a question, and Geralt realized that, too, because he just stared down at his boots, the muscles in his jaw twitching, like he wanted to reply, just didn't know how.

Jaskier waited for him to open up at last, to let him in - to share something so clearly important with him. He looked at Geralt, trying to silently communicate to him that it was alright, that he could always talk to him about whatever heavy burden plagued him about that brooch.

"Just drop it, Jaskier," Geralt said eventually. The sheer pain in his voice was enough for Jaskier to reach out and give his hand a squeeze. He didn't press it any further. Geralt seemed eternally grateful for it as he laced their fingers together.

Jaskier stopped asking about the brooch after that. He relied on his vivid imagination instead as he walked up the hill after Geralt, looking at the gold shining on his sword.

Who could have given it to him? Was it a gift, a sign of gratefulness after Geralt has gotten ridden of a monster? Maybe, but he wouldn't have held it so dear, then. This was something deeper.

An old friend? Someone Geralt greatly cared about, someone who cared for him too - someone that Jaskier hoped to be like, one day, if Geralt was ready for it.

Family? His mother? The only thing that was left of her? Another witcher at Kaer Morhen? A token of love?

Love... maybe it was from someone really close to Geralt's heart. Someone who meant the world to him. Where did they go? Did they leave? Did they die? Did looking at their brooch cause Geralt great pain, a reminder of what he has lost, or did it fill him with joy, giving him the strength to move forward?

"I wish you could talk," Jaskier chuckled softly when he cleaned Geralt's sword and faced the brooch. It was already a big step that Geralt let him clean it, he hasn't before. It felt almost as if day by day, Jaskier got closer to Geralt's heart. Maybe one day he would learn the truth behind the brooch, and he would be fully let inside. Until then, he appreciated what he could get.

"I'd love to know your story. I bet it's a great one, isn't it? Good song material."

The sunlight glinted on the surface of the brooch, almost like it answered him. Jaskier laughed at the silly thought.

"Also, I want Geralt to fully trust me, you know?" Jaskier continued as he scrubbed at a nasty stain on the edge of the sword. "And, I don't know. I feel like you mean something to him. And it would mean a lot to me if he shared you with me."

The way the light reflected in one of the gemstones made Jaskier laugh again, because it looked like the brooch winked at him.

Jaskier was about to fall asleep when Geralt slipped out of bed. Jaskier didn’t question it; he knew Geralt often had trouble sleeping as his witcher senses kicked in during the night, picking up every single quiet noise and tiny movement. He also knew about the nightmares, the horrific images of having to take lives, and seeing his witcher brothers die haunting his mind. Jaskier didn’t think a big deal of Geralt leaving their bed, so he pulled the blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes again.

A couple of moments after Geralt got up, the bed dipped again. Jaskier cracked one eye open, trying to get used to the darkness in the room. Geralt was only somewhat illuminated by the moonlight, but Jaskier could still tell he was looking right at him.

"You're awake, then," Geralt stated. Jaskier rubbed his eyes as he sat up against the headboard.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

Geralt looked down. Jaskier noticed he was holding something in his hand, but couldn't tell what it was in the dim light.

"You used to ask about it a lot," Geralt started. His voice was tired, pained. It woke Jaskier fully at once. Geralt didn't even need to tell him what he meant, because Jaskier immediately knew he was talking about the brooch.

"You've stopped."

"Because it's clear you don't want to tell me," Jaskier replied. "And that's okay, Geralt. I don't want to force you."

"I want to tell you," Geralt said. The moonlight glinted off the brooch as he turned it around in his hand. "I want you to know."

Jaskier hugged his knees to his chest. He tried to appear patient, but his heartbeat picked up as he realized that what he has been waiting for years - for Geralt to truly let him in, to share such an important piece of his soul with him - was finally happening.

"This brooch," Geralt said, looking down on the gold in his hand, "belonged to a girl named Renfri. She was a princess who had to leave her home because she was born under a Black Sun. She was prophesied to be dangerous. But she was just... a girl who was hurt. Too many times."

He looked at Jaskier as he continued. "She was a skilled warrior. Very strong and brave. Any man could have envied her strength. She was also witty and smart. I think you would've liked her."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I often wish you two had a chance to meet."

Something about the way he said it made Jaskier's heart flutter inside his chest.

"Renfri was special. In a way, she really was dangerous. When nothing good ever happens to you, when you keep hurting... it's hard not to become the very thing everyone was told you were going to be. But that did not make her a bad person. She had a right to be angry."

He reached out and took Jaskier's hand. Jaskier drew in a sharp breath when Geralt placed the brooch in his palm, laying his own over it until he covered Jaskier's hand with his own. The brooch was cold, but Geralt's skin was warm against his own.

"She was more than her anger," Geralt continued, looking down on their joined hands. "She also had a right to prove she was more than that. But she didn't have enough time."

"You loved her," Jaskier whispered. Geralt nodded.

"I did. And I killed her."

Jaskier only heard his own heartbeat in the dead silence of the room. Geralt sighed deeply.

"It was always going to end that way," he said, "you truly cannot trick destiny. I was told to choose between the lesser of two evils. I had to kill Renfri to stop her from unleashing chaos on the Continent."

Jaskier's throat felt dry and constricted around his words. "I'm sorry, Geralt."

"This is a reminder for me," Geralt continued. He ran his hand over the brooch, then Jaskier's palm. "That I can't escape the past the same way I can't escape the future. Renfri told me that the girl in the woods will always be with me."

"And who's that?"

"I have a hunch. The destiny I was trying to avoid, again. The one you also warned me about not trying to forget."

In the pale moonlight, Geralt's eyes shone bright as he looked into Jaskier's eyes.

"Renfri was the first human I truly let close to me," he told Jaskier, his voice softer than Jaskier has ever heard it before, "and somehow, although you are very different, I see her in you, sometimes. A constant reminder of my own humanity. And..."

He caressed his thumb over Jaskier's palm again, gently. "I trust you, Jaskier. You bring something good out of me. The same way she could have, but destiny stepped in. But with you... I think things are going to be alright."

Jaskier's eyes welled with tears as his heart nearly burst with an emotion so strong, he couldn't resist that eternal pull anymore - the one that made him follow a grumpy witcher at Posada, the one that never let him leave his side, the one that loved Geralt so dearly, always hoping, always longing to be the one Geralt trusted the most. The one Geralt loved as much as he loved that mysterious girl from the past, who left a part of her heart behind in that brooch.

In that moment, it just felt right when he leaned forward and kissed Geralt. Geralt's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him close until he was on his lap. He grabbed onto Jaskier's shirt like an anchor, holding him close almost desperately. Jaskier wiped Geralt's tears off - or were they his own, he didn't know anymore - as he continued kissing him, silently telling him that he would never leave.

"Thank you," Jaskier whispered as he pulled back to rest his forehead against Geralt's. Their hands were still intertwined over the brooch.

The soldier wouldn't let them pass, and they couldn't waste any more time. They needed to find Ciri as soon as possible. Jaskier could have screamed in frustration.

"Wait," Geralt said, reaching into his pocket. Jaskier raised an eyebrow at him. They didn't have any more money on them, so they had nothing to offer as a fee.

"What about this?"

Jaskier gasped when he noticed Geralt holding Renfri's brooch.

"No, Geralt," he whispered, "not that."

Geralt sent him a small smile, and touched his lower back fleetingly. A small gesture of comfort, as if he wasn't the one who was about to pay a douchebag Nilfgaardian soldier with one of the most important objects in his possession. Jaskier tried to reason with him one more time, but Geralt handed the brooch over anyways. Seeing that bastard take it made Jaskier's stomach churn, and his heart clench uncomfortably.

He didn't have time to dwell on it while he had to assist Geralt's fight with the soldiers, but it was the first thing he asked him once they got their horses ready for the road.

"Why?"

Geralt sent him a questioning look. "What do you mean why?"

"The brooch," Jaskier sighed, "Geralt, it was important."

Geralt smiled as he gently tucked Jaskier's hair behind his ear. He cupped his cheek soothingly.

"It's time to let go of the past," he said softly, "and focus on the future."

"But... there must have been another way, Geralt! I could have offered him a blowjob, although it wouldn't have been one given willingly."

"I would have chopped his head off before I let him touch you," Geralt scoffed. He smiled again when Jaskier leaned into his touch. "It had to be done. For Ciri, for all of us. It did mean a lot to me. But it's time to let it go - to let Renfri go."

He kissed Jaskier on the lips before he planted another kiss on his forehead. "Come on. Let's find Ciri."

Jaskier nodded with a smile. Geralt's heart worked in mysterious ways, but Jaskier was slowly learning its intricacies. He knew he was right: cherishing the past was important, but staying stuck in it didn't help anyone. He saw the way Geralt smiled at him before he grabbed the reins of his horse: he looked relieved, like a huge weight has just left his shoulders. The same way he trusted Jaskier with the truth all those years ago, now he trusted him to understand his decision. And Jaskier did.

He looked back at the camp one last time, saying goodbye to the brooch and its history in his mind - and to the girl whom, while he did not know, also meant a lot to him, because she was important to Geralt.

And now it was time to take his beloved witcher's hand and face the future, so they could rescue someone who also meant a lot to both of them.

#geraskier #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher fic #my fic #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier fic #geraskier fanfiction #geralt x jaskier

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greenerteacups · 9 months ago

Note

Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

#greenteacup asks

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theasocialantisocial · 8 months ago

Note

i tried to post the following in the original comments section, but it didn’t fit and i don’t know how to format it, so i’ll send it directly: i’m really sorry for not responding sooner, about the ‘Up is Down, Sane is Insane’ thing. i DID see your comment the first day it was there, i’ve been thinking about it for the past few days. i wasn’t sure how to respond and got nervous because i didnt wanna screw anything up until i was sure how to do it. i planned out my response in my head, and hopefully, i’m not coming across as rude. i’m not good at apologies, but i really am sorry. maybe this will look like i’m just making excuses, and i don’t want to appear as though i’m dismissing this. i’m just trying to explain my actions and apologize, and if i come off as anything but, i’m really sorry, and please let me know, so i can correct the apology as well.

first off, the pathologizing: i guess that’ll be my first thing to research, neurotypes. i’m googling it as i’m typing, and yeah, that does seem like a better word to use. when i first looked up autism symptoms— just out of curiosity— several sources called it ‘autism spectrum *disorder,’* and so i just went with it, not even thinking about it. i should’ve thought about it. more thorough research is needed on my end, for sure, to avoid that sort of mistake again. i’m really sorry about this.

second, institutionalization: i wasn’t fully aware of how bad it is even today. i’m sorry about that, and i’ll try my best to look into modern institutionalization as best as i can, to understand how bad it is. i wasn’t thinking of the modern versions with my story, but if i’m looking at the victorian asylums and turning a blind eye to what’s happening today, it would be hypocritical of me.

how i handled the subject matter: i didn’t realize that i was handling anything so horribly. i was trying to portray it as it was, but with empathy and a lot of anxiety about whether or not i should tone it down. as for husk and angel’s reactions, i wasn’t quite sure what to do, but again, i thought that, well, asylums were shown to be safe places, even if it wasn’t (still isn’t) true. maybe they’d just misunderstand and move on. it’s hard to address this concern without specific examples (no offense to you!), but i am taking this into consideration, and even if i don’t know exactly how to respond to this, i will try to keep this in mind.

the asylum, and autistic-coding: i really should’ve thought about that aspect before i even clicked ‘new work’. i swear, i hadn’t meant anything by it. i had read ‘The Woman They Could Not Silence’, and it mentioned how being ‘too emotional’ was seen as insanity. i hadn’t thought of anything, i just finished the book, and a couple days or weeks later, i was talking with my friend and i came up with pentious’ backstory. all i really saw was his behavior. or rather, just how he wore his emotions on his sleeves. i saw his personality, i looked back at the book, and i thought “oh, there’s no way he’d survive that era without some trauma.” a bit later on, after a couple chapters were posted, 2 or 3, i found a tumblr post about a list of autistic traits he showed. ‘oh, that makes sense,’ i thought, ‘yeah, that fits.’ i didn’t actually think about how it might appear: an autistic-coded character in an abusive asylum. i should’ve taken a moment to realize how it would look, so i could write it better, with more empathy. i truly wasn’t trying to offend anybody, i truly didn’t mean to suggest anything beyond how institutionalization was/is horrible, and how it could affect someone. maybe you’ll believe me, maybe you won’t, i swear that my only intentions were to write an interesting backstory and to explore what it was really like back then. i’m really, truly sorry about that.

if there’s anything at all i can do to fix everything— adjust the story going forward, minor OR major rewrites, delete it completely, anything— please let me know. ANYTHING. i’ve said it already, several times, but i really am sorry. i hope i sound sorry here, because i mean it.

I'm genuinely sorry I didn't answer sooner, this is very hard for me to talk about, and ai don't go on Tumblr every day so I didn't see this until about a day ago. I do not have ANY intention of making you feel bad or like I was being rude or trying to attack you, but every I said is very true and too important to sugar coat, I just want to say that for the record.

I don't at all think it's necessary to delete anything, and I hate if I've made you feel insecure about your art, that's not my intention, these things are just very, very important like I said. But if I were you I would keep these things I said in mind for future, in addition to potentially going back and changing the way Angel and Husk are reacting to situation as a whole- I don't necessarily want to tell dictate you on how, but for example, it seems weird that Angel heard that entire story in the last chapter, and still thinks Pen was getting like actual healthcare in that place? Unless I missed something/I'm confused, that seems really weird. It just feels like they're a little too cozy with the idea of institutionalization in general. Which I understand because a lot of people are (understably) very ignorant about the topic. But I only thing I want from my fellow humans is just... An general understanding of institutionalization being wrong, especially in the art we make. That's basically all I have to say about and I thank you if you seriously consider it. I know I repeated myself a few times but I'm having a hard time putting thoughts to words

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god-has-entered-my-body · 8 months ago

Note

✨✍️🎨

thank you for this, you're golden xx

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

ohhh I have quite literally every single one saved so might as well post the ones i still kick my feet over to this day.

first comment i ever got was from Belle and i think i did actually writhe in my bed reading it, i didnt think anyone would actually see anything i put out. Also went insane and spammed my mate freaking out because its literally user sugar-coat-it in my replies.

having my literal fic idols comment on and reblog my stuff had me spamming @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff literally so much it was insane i tell you. tumblr user wrestletotheground i screamed that day you're actually a total legend.

again. my longfic idol perceiving me is so mental i keep staring at it and it doesnt feel real??? like im just a fangirl at heart dont do this to me.

someone recommending my fics to HALLA and this being her reaction i think i stared at my phone for a solid minute before reacting by again, spamming my mates and going insane

this has become this weird gush fest please dont think im wanky i just dont do well with people i admire interacting with me in any capacity xx

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

my laptop on my desk. super basic but i do make myself a cuppa and take my meds so i can focus on actually writing instead of browsing bdsm wikipedia for research purposes. also fics srsly dont help my smoking i go through like half a packet for every fic or chapter or whatever. I guess it sort of fits the vibe though? MPIND matty would be proud in his own weird way.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

i dont think thats really a feasible concept for me, but I do imagine MPIND very vividly, and i think other people do too. I feel like MPIND and his whole fashion thing he has going on i think the outfits might be fun to draw?? i do have actual clothing picked out tucked away in a google doc that i think he's wear if he was real.

I'd love to see scenes like ones i've written on the terrace, or maybe the lighter scene come to life? To be completely honest, i havent read MPIND in a hot minute i genuinely forgot a lot of the plot/specific scenes i put in x

If anyone does ever make fanart, i will print it out and hang it above my bed to stare at in awe because someone putting in that effort is imperceivable for me

#god i need to stop yapping #also i need to quit the fangirling i can imagine it comes off as a bit wanky #anyway #lena speaks #anon ure amazing #mpind matty #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfic

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midnightrings · 1 year ago

Text

Okay, so I’ve kept quiet on this blog so far about the shit I had to deal with this past week, but I feel like I need to make a post addressing it – as a reminder that you don’t have to be an asshole to fanfic writers, just because they write stuff you do not like to read.

I’ve been publishing fanfiction since I was 12 years old. I’ve received some nice hate comments through the years, and been in fairly toxic fandoms. Mostly, however, my experience with fanfiction has been calm and friendly. I write a lot about minor characters and ships, and the topics and themes in my stories are fairly mild compared to some of the stuff you can find on AO3. However, none of those fanfic experiences I had over the past decade comes close to the insanity that I had to deal with in the Bridgerton fandom recently. And I tried to laugh it off, but honestly, I might as well go on a bit of rant.

Just to try and summarize what’s been happening: A week ago I started publishing a Kathony fanfiction I’ve finished writing recently. It’s a what-if scenario about what might have happened, had Anthony actually married Edwina. I love to write angst, so this was a perfect fic idea for me, and I also stated in the tags and A/N that it will have a HEA for Kate and Anthony. And, well, people have lost it. I’ve received tons of ridiculous hate comments, insults to me and my writing, and even had a kind anon in my inbox who told me to kms. It’s been absolutely insane. A part of me is laughing about it, but I’m also in shock that such an innocent fanfic idea has provoked such immense hatred.

Now, I never would have expected this kind of reaction. And it’s been difficult to figure out what it was that bothered people so much. Here’s what I gathered from the response I’ve received:

For one, apparently there are a lot of people that believe this fic cannot have a happy ending if Kate ends up as Anthony’s mistress. This type of thinking surprised me, and I guess it’s the result of two worlds colliding. Maybe those people mostly read HR, and considering mistresses and such are usually not treated very nicely in those fictional historical romances, they immediately assume I have the same kind of screwed views on women as they do. They were also bothered by me not tagging it as Anthony/Edwina (even though the fic isn’t about them, and I only tag ships that are actual romantic ships in my stories), and hated that Anthony and Edwina had sex (though I honestly couldn’t have written this fic without them having sex and thought this was kind of implied by them being married). I now added a tag for the latter, so people know about it beforehand. But the thing is, the summary and tags clearly stated that this is a fic in which Anthony and Edwina are married, and that it’s about Kate and Anthony finding their HEA despite it. Everything they were mad about was already stated in the tags, summary, A/N or – at the very least – in the beginning of the first chapter.

Then, people apparently went through my other fanfics and realized I mainly write about Anthony and Siena. And well, that surely made them angry for some reason. I feel like this part is mostly projection – they don’t multi-ship and believe other can’t either. They’ve been accusing me of purposely trying to screw up Anthony and Kate, and basically tried to tell me what will happen in my story they have not even read yet. It’s honestly insane to me how they know that I love Anthony and Siena, yet for some reason believe I am trying to destroy Kate’s character by making her a mistress. Like – Siena is quite literally Anthony’s mistress in the show. If I had any issue with mistresses during that time period, Siena would not be my favorite character, neither would I love her affair with Anthony. Not to mention that the one multi-chapter fic series I’ve written about Anthony and Siena so far ends with their canon breakup and puts Siena through more shit than Kate will have to grow through in my current Kathony fic. I guess they do not care about this as they don’t care about Siena. And considering some of those comments had pretty misogynistic undertones, I’m going to assume they probably wouldn’t be bothered by how I write Siena, considering she’s already basically a courtesan.

Of course, I’ve also received a lot of amazing comments, and I’m extremely grateful for all the support. Nonetheless, this type of behavior is simply not acceptable. If you do not like a fic, don’t read it. If you started reading a fic and realize that you do not like where the story is going, don’t like the writing or the writer’s take on those characters and relationships, stop reading. Fanfic writers don’t work for you, and their content won’t always be perfectly curated to your own personal interests.

Writers will try and explore many different scenarios. They will have different interpretations of the characters and ship dynamics, might want to explore different aspects to a character which you might not agree with, and will purposely create storylines to do so. You do not have to like everything that is published on AO3 – not everything is meant for you. And if you do not like a fic, move on to the next. Or create your own. Being an ass to fanfic writer is just shitty behavior.

I spend my free time writing fics because I enjoy it. I write stories I like to explore for myself, and sometimes I edit those fics and publish them, because you never know who might be interested in reading this as well. I’m extremely thankful to all those amazing writers out there, sharing their stories for free – especially when I’m the only person leaving a kudo and comment. I’m so glad they decided to post stories only a few people are interested in, and I’m trying to do the same with my fanfics. Knowing that there are people out there who enjoy the stuff I write as much as I do, is enough for me to sit down and create those stories in my free time. And it can take a lot of time and effort, but it’s worth it. And hate comments completely ruin that experience for everyone.

Mind you, those comments won’t keep me from writing, and they don’t bother me too much either. I’m just a bit tired of them. But I’m sure that I’m not their only victim. And the next writer they harass might be a teenage girl who has just started writing fanfiction and will be completely devastated.

And despite all the lovely comments I’ve received, I definitely don’t have as much fun writing this story as I used to in the beginning. And it sucks, because I know very well that people can usually tell when a writer has lost their passion for a story. I’m sure that this is probably their goal – to harass writers enough so they stop writing. I obviously won’t stop writing this fic – I’ve already written the entire story down either way – but it’s exhausting how comfortable people are with ruining an entire reading and writing experience for everyone involved, when they could easily just not read a story that is clearly not meant for them.

I really do not know what the issue within the Bridgerton fandom is. Whether there are a lot of younger people who have joined a fandom for the first time in their life and simply don’t know how to act. Or if this behavior is quite normal to this type of genre and I simply lack experience in it. But neither of those explanations would make it okay. It’s pure entitlement. Fanfic writers don’t exist to please you.

If you consume fanfiction, you should also respect the writers. People are out their attending university classes while working two part time jobs and then decide to post a 100k word fic simply for other people to enjoy. They don’t earn anything from it. And it’s the caring and supportive community those stories create which is also keeping fanfiction alive. Trying to destroy that community while also still consuming fanfiction is simply egoistic.

So if you like reading fanfiction, be nice to the writers. And if you cannot accept that not every fanfiction is meant for you, and feel the need to be an asshole to writers – well, then maybe you should not engage with fanfiction at all.

#fanfiction #writing #bridgerton #fandom culture #wanted to add a read more but didn't know when sorry #felt like i needed to write this cuz ppl tend to brush off hate comments #and i did this in the past as well #but there's always a point when it's enough #and mind you all this during my birthday week too lmao #and this applies to any other fandom content as well btw

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syn4k · 2 years ago

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It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize you guys wrote one of my favorite fics on ao3

Like I didn’t make the connection between the names on the different platforms then was like “ashes au haha like that one story?” Then realized it WAS that story and that you wrote it

I wanted to let you guys know that ashes au is The Best and every chapter rips my heart apart and stitches it back together halfway (in a good way)

I love how Gem and Fwhip are Trying to get along and sometimes it’s fine and sometimes it’s tenser than rubber band about to snap and oh god it makes me think of my own siblings. And Pixl!!! He is the densest and saddest character. The day he comes to terms with the fact people will want him around is the day the world will spring back to life haha.

I cannot wait to see where the story goes next and whenever I check my bookmarks for updates I always look to ashes au first

-Starry

anon, please know that the intial response up here when we saw this went like this:

lance [clicking the askbox expecting another ask game ask]: oh shit, ray look at this ray (the main person up here who has actually physically written the vast majority of Ashes): what? lance: look at this ask ray, walking up to the front screen: yeah? oh what the fuck? oh wow. holy shit. hold on WHOA.

and then we proceeded to keysmash about it on Discord. based on our very normal reaction, one can clearly judge that we get asks of this moniker a lot and are used to it (joking)

seriously though, this ask has made our evening and probably our entire weekend due to several reasons- hold on let me make an itemized list real quick hi its ray i stole the fingers i am going insane over this. Hello. Hey.

do not worry anon i would have done the exact same thing if this wasn't our fic that we were writing. it has happened to us before on multiple occasions as well you are not alone

AAAAAAAA???? AAAAAAA?? AAAAA? AAAA! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! AGH!

if you or a loved one have experienced physical or emotional pain while reading this fic, you may be entitled to financial compensation

yeah uh. Yeah theyre siblings alright! some days they are getting along just fine and some days they are literally ready to dropkick each other into a tree

pix is layered like a French pastry. this is intentional. how have we done this so in depth and so well? don't worry about it (it's a little technique called "mild to moderate projection") (yes, we are actively going to therapy and have been going for years. do not worry)

asks like these are the literal backbone of everything we write ever. i am not kidding when i say that we have been pouring all the effort we can into writing this, partially because we refuse to fully abandon a multichapter ever, partially to distract ourself from the huge amount of schoolwork we've been subjected to lately, and partially because of the readers (including you!) that leave so much godsdamned feedback that we read when we are sad

things like this are the world to me and out of all the words we've ever written, i don't think any of them would show our gratitude enough, so we'll stick to showing that by keeping this thing going for you and everyone else who keeps up with and enjoys this fic

thank you SO MUCH for this and please subscribe to the work if you haven't already because ao3 gives you emails every time a chapter updates. we love u and we understand so so much but desperately refreshing the page will not actually make us write it any faster although i wish that was how it worked </3

we wish you a Very and a Good :] hope to see you when the next chapter drops, whenever the hell that might be!

#x's tag #ray's tag #answered #ashes au #keys' bad days box #holy SHIT. auuuuu. augh. ueueueue #etc #we are going to be keeping this one around for A While i think

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regulusrules · 2 years ago

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Chain of Thorns Review ✯✯

Beware, you are going to be staying here for a long while because I wasted my entire night writing this out of spite.

I'm going to start by accentuating how much of a CC lover I am. TID was exceptional. TDA had characters that snuffed my soul. Even TMI had its good moments with me, no matter how much I hate Clary. But nothing compared to TLH. It was a series I thought of recurringly. The fact that it was a continuation to TID made me go absolutely bonkers when I first read CHOG. It was perfect. Perfect in its characterization. Perfect in representation. Perfect in every single aspect I could think of.

Until this book.

If I've learned anything, it's that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. And this is exactly what happened with CC here. She ruined everything by writing this book the way she did. Utter waste of paper. Utter waste of time. I wish she had just left us at her cliffhanger to Paris in CHOI rather than shitting her way out in this one. Truly, it would have been more dignified than what she did here.

But where do I start? Lord, I literally wrote a checklist of all the things that went wrong in the book so that I wouldn't forget mentioning them. It's a list I never thought would be warranted for a CC book, let alone the culminating book of my favourite characters. The book just went on and on, repetitive and insanely ruinous to all what you hoped for. You wanted her to do justice by Matthew with him realising that he's not actually in love with Cordelia but with the idea of her? No, let's make it a fucking love triangle instead. You wanted Cordelia to exude the glorious power and grace that she had? No, let's reduce her to a stereotypical girl torn between two boys. You wanted James to be the ever-giving, everloving continuation of Will Herondale? No, let's shun him in speculative introspections instead and just give him a badass move in the chapter before the epilogue so that by the last page he's a semblance of the MC we fell in love with.

I haven't started yet.

Listen; I don't mind long books. Rather, I really enjoy them. I don't like rushed narratives or quick endings. I like seeing things given the depth they deserve. But that's not what happened with Cassandra and this 800 pages book. It was nothing but a waste of ink. She went on and on for CHAPTERS on things no one gave a shit about, but when it came to the actual scenes that were the core of the book.. she pretended she did not see.

𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃!

For example, the most important character arc of Matthew confessing his biggest secret to James was rushed in two pages. I kid you the fuck not, two pages. She might as well have not wrote it, just like she didn't write Matthew's conversation with his parents over this, rather skimmed it in a paragraph in the ending. Just like she did not write James's important scenes as well! You want him to have a proper conversation with Will about how he was cursed in the EXACT SAME WAY Will had thought he had been cursed when he was young? Joke's on you. You want to see Matthew's proper reaction to this? Um no. You want him to be truthful to Cordelia and tell her? Ah no my love, let's let the miscommunication theme work its way instead, prolonging this with him not wanting to be "pitied". For a very proud person myself, I did not see what Cassandra was doing by justifying their actions with pride. Pride is not about shunning pity. It's about not accepting it. So to ruin their character's arc by relying on this pedestal.. yeah, that didn't work.

What else? Ah, number one thing that created the checklist and made me leave the book for days: James and Jem's conversation. You know what the problem of it was? It was everything that Jem wasn't. I literally raged reading this scene, because as audience who are very familiar with Jem's characterization, you KNOW that his response to James's curse wouldn't be this plaintive indifference. There was NOTHING of who Jem was to James in this conversation. It was the first time someone from the elder generation talks to James about the curse, and it was very apparent how in despair James was from it, only for the conversation to not even exude one ounce of sympathy. I fucking didn't believe her. She tried to fix this by making James always able to calm down through Jem's instructions in the back of his mind, but what's the use of that when the main conversation we were looking forward to set an undertone of how much of a disappointment the rest of the book will be?

Next in the neverending list: Paris. Dear fuck, how it aggravated me. The utter ooc-ness of Matthew LYING????? Like fine, I get it. He didn't want to burden Cordelia with seeing him in shambles. How very honourable. So let's ruin this by being lying, conniving sons of bitches instead of being truthful and shutting her out while we heal for all we care. I mean, the whole ship is problematic for me, really, how Cordelia only clung at Matthew as her form of escapism and how he, supposedly, loved her despite it? I won't go on lengths on how I think the headcanon of how he was projecting his love on her instead of believing his real love for his parabatai should have WON, but the least CC could've done was to not make it too destructive for his character so that we basically have to go through a typical love triangle just because there's nothing better to write. She literally just reduced Matthew with all his charisma and superb characterization to a mess who doesn't want to heal. Even when he stops drinking, CC still enforced the narrative of how he was doing it for others' sake, not for his own. Only in the end, with the solo trip thing, do we get a sense of his adventurous spirit that might be on his way to healing. The rest was useless. The rest she just wanted to show the effects of withdrawal without showing HIS own thoughts about it. Nearly always it's people's thoughts about Matthew, about him going through this, about him always susceptible to the bottle, never HIM! Not one scene do we see his perspective, and God if this wasn't the most reducing thing she could have done to his character.

Should I start with Cordelia now, or leave it to the very fine end? Might as well do both, since it's basically a long list with everything that went wrong with her. My favourite female, also reduced to a shallow shell of all she could have been. It was like CC was taking notes from her shitty characterization of Clary and applying them to the one character that should have surpassed all standards. I'm not even talking about her reaction to the love triangle thing. I'm mainly talking about her fixation on it. How all of a sudden, the victimized mode was on, lamenting all what has been happening in her life. And sure, characters are allowed this— they're allowed to rage for all we care— but Cordelia became a hollow figment of the character she was with CC's insistence on this framework. She didn't even do anything about the matters that aggravated her, just took them all in with passivity that I was dying from. And the first time she did take matters in hand, her conversation with Matthew, she just slaps him in the face (metaphorically) with everything you don't say to a person who supposedly loves you. The real first act of agency I found in Cordelia was her reaction to Grace when she told her of the bracelet. How she took it in stride, and how it truly spoke of the fire and grace she was made of. Other than that, no amount of Edom or killing Tatiana or disentangling from Lilith could truly speak of her actions that were out of her own accord. And that's when you lose me: when characters lose their agency.

I'll be back to Cordelia later, but there is someone who I also wish to talk about regarding disregarding their agency: Anna. Just the most influential of characters being nothing but a puppeteer for Ari. And listen, not that I have anything against Ari, who was also one of my favourite characters, but no matter how much this ship is loved, it shouldn't have been the only sense of her character. We don't see Anna in her own eyes. We don't see her grief, her pain over losing her brother. We just see her characterization wasted on romance, and that was not all of who she was. When she discovered the abandoned entrance of the Silent City, that was the first time I felt like I was reading Anna Lightwood again. When in the epilogue she said, "I regret nothing", THAT was Anna Lightwood. All the rest was a bare reflection of the all-encompassing person she was. I mourned her more than I mourned Christopher.

Which takes us to darling Kit, who was done so dirty in the way his death meant nothing. I take it how characters thrust in war shouldn't always have honourable sublime deaths, but the least CC could've given us was their genuine pain over losing him. The intermission, the subtle references of their destruction over his death, were not enough. Not for a book that is 800 pages anyway. We don't even see Thomas, his parabatai, grieving. (Just like we didn't see him grieving his sister. It's so typical at this point to shrug Thomas's pain off.) She can justify it on Tumblr all she wants, but we don't put a lid on grief just because it's war and there's no place for mourning there. She didn't even write Cecily and Gabriel's reactions over the death of their SON! We just see them coming to the picnic in the epilogue, carrying their other kid. What a nice ending, CC :)))))

Truly, I wouldn't have found Kit honoured at all if it wasn't for that note: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘪𝘳�� 𝘔𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥. No matter how insignificant it must be for everyone, but this was the legacy I was waiting for Christopher. Waiting to see him honoured and revered in the eyes of his beloveds. This was the only thing, if you hear me.

Speaking of beloveds, from all the characters, the only one she did justice to was Grace for how she held on her care for Christopher and honoured him while doing so without being romantically entangled. One of the two stars is basically for CC not sailing that ship, and rather making them equals and companions. I absolutely loved this. And I love how when Kit spoke on her behalf, he was not speaking from being enamoured by her, but rather his own beliefs of what true mercy and justice meant. In the epilogue, when all of them hold on his words, that was what made me give a sigh of relief. But when James buried his gun saying Kit would "understand", that fucking made me explode. Because bitch yes he would understand, that's the problem. But you don't honour the dead by burying their greatest creations unless they specifically asked for it. He could've buried anything else to leave Belial behind; the book of Demons, Demons and Demons for all we care, but not this. It was the first time I was actually in pain from Kit's death.

Back to Grace though; CC still did her dirty. You know in what? That reunion scene of her and Jesse. Because fuck, I cannot even express how much I was longing for this scene. It was the one that would either carry the whole book in its shoulders, or speak for how shitty it was. And indeed it spoke, in the worst kind of way. I truly didn't expect CC to ruin this scene with how indifferent it was. Does everyone understand what it means to have your dead brother come back from the dead and call for you? It shouldn't have been as insignificant as she portrayed it. It would have been the most powerful scene of the entire book, if only she wrote it well. Instead what does she do? She leaves bars between them, figurative and literal, and distances them in a way that fucking ruins everything. I'm not saying she should've went on full emotional, but at least, Jesse's reaction shouldn't have been this painful. It wasn't even the time for the revelation. We could've gotten it later, but when closure was first met. For years, Grace held onto Jesse as her only anchor, and what does CC do? Throw the anchor in the sea. Fucking miser. This was my biggest indication of how CC will no longer know how to write emotional scenes.

And this was obvious in all of the other emotional scenes too, you know. When instead of cutting dialogue, she prolonged them, which made it horrible to read. Long dialogues are worthless without sincerity; I'm sure that's 101 writing for us. And no matter how hard she tried to issue sincerity, I personally could not feel it. I didn't feel it in their grief over Kit, nor in Matthew's reaction over the bracelet. I didn't feel it in Edom, nor felt it in Cordelia's pain when she saw James stabbing his own heart. They were all scenes that should have served, but all they served was half-baked imagery.

Last thing I'll say because I'm really going to post this review and leave Cassandra's entire world behind: the problem with her is that she has nothing new to offer anymore. Cassandra Clare is one of the best authors of nowadays, and rightfully so. She created a fully-fledged universe that is so well thought of and well-structured. But in doing so, she burned out by prolonging her stories. Chain of Thorns could've been culminated in a four hundred and a few pages, but instead she went on and on with ideas she had already done in previous books. Fuck, she even drew inspiration from the TMI show with the whole Alexander being kidnapped thing and going into a demonic realm. I legitimately didn't know whether to laugh or cry from how horrible that was; drawing inspiration from the show that fucked up your series. But really, this all speaks for how burned out she is. She is reusing the same ideas over and over for lack of new things to say. It's better not to at all rather than to go on in a "full cycle" of ideas. No matter how impressive she thinks it was, repeating 𝘊𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘯 for 8 times (yes, I counted) in this book was truly NOT impressive. An idea hits for how fitting it is to the context, not for its sole sake. I haven't been this disappointed in TMI no matter how much I hated it just as I've been disappointed here for how she ruined the characters we grew to love. I hope she takes a break before writing anything new, because I truly believe she'll need it. And I hope, for her sake before the sake of this fandom, that she realises that there is no shame in taking your time in writing. It's so obvious she was rushed into writing this book, and that just speaks for how terrible the influence of media is nowadays. We love her despite her characters and despite her writing. Once she realises this, I'm sure her whole perspective might change as well.

And with this, LJ runs away from the Shadowhunters world.

#chot #chot spoilers #book review #rant #chain of thorns #cassandra clare #regulusrules metas

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mari-lair · 2 years ago

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☀️, for the ask game

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

I had a few, but recently only yours come to mind! You went into so many details, and paid so much attention, it got me writing proudly like Nene with her diary.

I worked on the chapter as if I was speedrunning the day I got it, even finished that week! And i still re-read it when I need motivation. I'm determined to make the next chapter long!

And here is what the comment said:

[so, uh, i may or may not have forgotten to comment on this for half a month… well, to compensate for my lateness i’ve decided to write my thoughts on this chapter in excruciating detail because i’m actually very normal (i swear)

1. THEY SHAKED HANDS… OH MY GOD… look it may not seem like much but when you think about it hand shaking is pretty much just hand holding with extra steps, so basically they just held hands (good for them!!!)

2. aka’s relationship with mirai is. so much to me. AND DRAWING PARALLELS TO TERU AND TIARA’S RELATIONSHIP… LITERALLY RATTLING MY CAGE BARS SO HARD AT THIS!!! also them agreeing that teru’s a piece of crap is so iconic fr

3. aka offering for teru to braid his hair is so damn telling of how theyre slowly but surely getting closer and starting to trust each other a bit and i just. AAAHHDJFJFJFJFJFJFFJAJSKDKKD. THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE /POS

4. omg i remember when i was looking at one of the wips and i was like ‘wait op isn’t gonna pull a chapter 26 right…’ and i am SO GLAD that i dodged apollo’s dodgeball there because i’d probably cry if that happened

5. ‘wiggling around like a pathetic worm’ is such a Sentence™ and now it’ll be forever ingrained in my mind, i bet ten dollars i’m gonna end up quoting that like five times in a row while knowing damn well that nobody’s gonna fully understand me

6. aka’s reaction to teru being taller than him is so comically paradigmatic of their relationship like damn, i’m gonna go sit in a corner and think about that for a while gimme a few okay (and by ‘a few’ i mean the next few YEARS)

7. the part where teru ruffles aka’s hair and notices how cold it is OH MY GOD AJSKJDKDKFKF???? i think i’ll have to change that from a few years to a few decades… may or may not have led me down a rabbit hole of thoughts on aka’s lack of humanity ngl 😳😳😳 i’m like 2 seconds away from writing a small essay about it someone needs to either stop me or encourage me right now

8. ‘it was as if growing up made teru lose his survival instincts’… HEY, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 😀 is it because he eventually falls in love with aka… i know what you are, teru 🤨📸 BUT ALSO WHAT IF IT’S SOMETHING ELSE okay i don’t know what else it could be atm but whatever it is i have a feeling it would not be good

9. tbh… i’m becoming a rita stan (i said, not even having the faintest idea of what she looks like because i can’t imagine people for the life of me) wait actually. you should draw her /nf… if you don’t do it first then i’ll just have to draw her myself ig

10. TERU CALLING AKA BY HIS NAME. TERU GETTING GENUINELY WORRIED FOR AKA. i am going to lock myself in my dryer and never come out omg i’m going to cry this is so important to me i’m never gonna dance again because of this

11. the way he’s starting to care about aka… i’m literally going to cry… god the way you write character dynamics and development is literally going to make me rip my eyes out IT’S SO GOOD AJKDDJKDKDFK. and the way he was denying it so hard too 😭😭 it’s like, he’s trying so much to convince himself that he doesn’t care about aka and i just,,, IT’S SO. YK

12. this is like. stage one: Denial™, yk. like he says and does all these things to try and distract from how he actually feels, HE OVERCOMPENSATES SO MUCH LMAO, idk how to articulate it but this is going to be the death of me, i was just waiting for him to realize just how much he cares deep down yk… actually this entire fic is just killing me to death tbh

13. AND THEN WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITS IT TO HIMSELF OH MY GOD. I’M GOING TO SLAM HIM INTO A MICROWAVE THIS LITERALLY MEANS EVERYTHING I’M USING EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING TO NOT SCREAM AND SHOUT RN

14. and then of course he tries to pin the blame on aka, like he’s just doing everything in his power to deny his feelings lmaoo, that’s literally so in character for him… like who’s gonna tell him about friendship /j, btw this fic is stabbing me cesear-style rn

15. AND THEN THE ENDING OH MY GOD… NOW THAT’S HOW YOU END A CHAPTER FR!! i am currently going to explode with anticipation for the next chapter, i’m actually never going to shut up about this fic tbh

i don’t really know a good way to finish this small essay of a comment off, so i’ll just quote something i texted to a friend while in the middle of writing this: ‘i fink that fic may have ruined me tbh but it’s too radballs for me to go back now’. i think that adequately summarizes my thoughts on this tbh

so uh yeah!!! thanks for reading exactly 895 words of me incoherently rambling about this fic, next time i’m going to make a google slides presentation /j but seriously i love this fic so much and i can’t wait to see where it goes next!]

#I re read your aka tags when i need motivation too #you really are easily Aka's biggest fan #thank you for the ask!#and all the love you've given my clock boy

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wooahaeruby · 4 months ago

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IT’S THE D-DAY WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO I should not be too much excited about it, but I just wanted to ask something before I read, when will the next chapter comes out?

Do not rush, because time is so good thing, and you know they say distant makes the heart fonder or whatever the quote is because I don’t exactly remember right now, but I learnt it in a very hard way last time how I went insane, I truly am not your strongest soldier, idk how your editors go through this.

I am about to go to sleep, so I hope you are having a great day ahead~!

A message for your editors, my dear people, I will pay for your therapy, I have a huge respect for you. Thank you for taking your time out and also giving feedback that truly would explain my turmoil in the upcoming chapters as well. You are the best.

and you, my favourite author, I have a love hate ( and a huge amount of respect ) emotions for you. Thank you for writing BSH, and I will hang on to your word like an obsessive ex ( nothing bad ever happens in bsh )

— 🌙

I actually posted it today :D hahahaha.

I put all the notes at the end of give or take when BSH's next chapter will come out so forgive me for another long break in between chapters.

I think the only way my editor gets through it is because we send jokes back and forth (included tik toks and tweets) of "oh look, it's [so and so] in BSH"

We cope healthily I swear.

Please let me know what you think of the chapter when you do read it :D I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry.

I love interacting with people reading my work, it brings me joy that someone enjoys my writing. I'm happy that my pass time and evoke such a reaction and you can't stop reading 🩷🩵

As always, nothing bad ever happens in Blood Stained Hands. ❤️🖤❤️

#seventeen #svt #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen mafia au #wooahaeruby stuff

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daechwitatamic · 1 year ago

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hello! can i just say… you are such an incredible writer, omg. “of ruin”?? I’M HOOKED. your world-building is so amazing!!!! i am always in awe of authors who are able to create such rich concepts and worlds and ahhh, it’s just so cool and exhilarating to read. from the history to the creatures and the names… you write fantasy so well. thank you for posting your stories!

i’ve just read chapter 8 of “of ruin” and i always physically react to certain parts (the occasional squeal, laugh, gasp, etc… i almost yelled when it was revealed oc has magic bc i instantly thought of the tale about the priestess)— ANYWAYS for some reason… when oc stated “I think someone tried to kill you.”, I GASPED OUT LOUD?? BC I WAS INSTANTLY HIT WITH A CRAZY THOUGHT OF WHO IT MIGHT BE. idk why my mind wandered to this character… i don’t even wanna say it bc my heart will be shattered if my prediction is correct 😭😭 but yeah, i just wanted to share. it was a great chapter, as all the other ones are. what a reveal… “death magic” sounds insane. also, the way you describe magic as threads is so intriguing, i was instantly invested. i’m looking forward to how the story unravels.

you’re also super cool for finishing full stories 😭 the weekly update is something i always look forward to. hope you’re doing well! take care. 💌⭐️🫂

- 🌌

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this ask just refilled my health meter at least 40%

thank you sooooo so so much!!!

firstly, i love that your brain went straight to the hunter and the highest ties when reader was revealed to be a witch, because that is exactly what i wanted lolololol and secondly, and similarly, i LOOOOOOVE that you had a whole reaction over that reveal about taehyung's curse!!! i wanted a reaction and when readers actually take the time to tell me it WORKED you don't understand how happy it makes me.

ok but bestie pleaaaaaaaase tell me who you think it was!!!! i need to know the theories!!!!

thank you so so much for reading and i hope you continue to enjoy!

#🌌 anon #re: of ruin

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feminariden · 2 years ago

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Finished the volume and arc yesterday and it was pretty good 👍

I have seen a lot of people claiming this is the chapter where it gets "really good" and while I don't see a huge jump in quality tbh it's definitely better than Katana arc at least, Reze is a geniunely a pretty interesting character and memorable female main villain, in a shonen of all thing;, we get some good development on our fave loserboy Denji, along so spicy sideplot for Aki and Angel, along with Makima and Beam slaying fr

Best part had to be the date with Denji and Makima tho, sorry Reze but your insane firework adventures don't compare to makiden crying together

And speaking of that i'm kinda let down by Reze as character, for how hyped she is by the fans i expected her to blown my mind by good writing but once I finished this arc i was just like "eh, that's it? This is the character hundreds of guys hated Asa for months", all in all...... she was kinda of a bitch, her reaction to being rejected by Denji is arguably the biggest crazy yandere incel i have seen in the series until now and didn't really felt bad for her when Makima and Angel found her, and speaking of that is it just me or Makima stopping Reze from pulling her trigger similar to when Reze did that Denji?

Makima def saw that so she's just avanging him in the eviliest way possible, but hey, she is the one who tortured and betrayed an innocent boy who trusted her, so I don't really care either way

She has her motived and sad backstory, which got waaaaaay less explamation than expected but I guess it's not super necessary rn to say what's going on in Russia of all countries, but still i didn't feel that.... emotional about her, i'm more interested in Katana Man and Sawatari comparated to her even if they are way more flat than her

That said, i do like her, her relationship to Denji is pretty good and it'a cool.how the "school" motif pops so often with her from the start right to her death

She poses herself as Denji's "life teacher' but when she dies she admits she never went to school either, i think she wants to be seen as and teach Denji how to be the only master of themself and a free warrior but in reality she is another trapped guinea pig who doesn't know shit about the world just like him; after all, her animal motif are rodents which is something even she is aware when she says she prefers the "country mouse", but in her last moments Makima breaks her bubble and say even the country mouse will get brutally killed by dogs in his "safe" farms, Makima is the top dog but Reze will always remain just a little lab rat, all her attempts to escape her fate and live an happy life will always lead to a brutal karmic death

It's certanly a sad death for her, specially when she was just starting to experience what real freedom tastes like thanks to Denji, I appreciate the parts in the dates where Reze criticized how PS has been treating him, but she almost seem unsure about that, saying she has been thinking really a lot about that, while a normal teen would have jumped to the conclusion that Denji's situation is Fucked Up, she is starting to change and see that her being a living weapon isn't that much better than being a slave, while Denji never does stop to find out if Reze is right or not, he's just happy things are starting to get "better" with his work, cool contrast between our villain protagonist Reze and her unchanging DMPB Denji where they never find a compromise, arguably you could say Reze was the real city mouse trying to live in danger for a chance at freedom while Denji is the country mouse who only wants to stay in his "safe" PS family

And speaking of Dennis

This guy got carbonized and still forgives her for every crime she committed and proposed to escape together because "he liked her", I feel like he and a bunch of Reze fans didn't get the memo she is a actually merciless war veteran and not a sexy tehe ^_^ young girlie, but I guess Dennis thinks way too much with his dick and we just have accept that 😑

As for the art and fight themself, this arc was sooooooooooo funny, I don't think CSM really worries about making great fight scenes but Fujimoto KILLED it here, everything was HYPE AS HELL, Aki, Angel and Beam were Epic, and Bomb Girl is soooo badass and scary, but also very funny, her powers are goofy and nosensical like her little headless walk lmao, she can make explode everything she touches including herself to a comic but extremely entertaining degree, she turning her body parts into bombs made of fuses (her clothes are also made of fuses which is neat detail) is such a cool ability too, it feel like Bomb Girl never ran out of surprised and that Fujimoto is expanding his vision for action scenes with campy fantasy elements, def a good ride

All in all, can't wait to buy next volume

Halfway throught Vol 6 now and i'm basically in the heated middle of Bomb Girl's arc, I know more or less where it's going but this arc surprised me enough i want to wait to finish it before disclosing any full opinion on Reze herself in particular, because i gotta say, it's really not what i expected

Reze herself is far less sympathetic than the fans made me believe, and way less competent too, as spy i mean, as warrior/enemy she's freaking OP, but for good reasons, she feels like a stronger Katana Man but without team and complex plan to cover her back, and speaking of that even if her plan to get Denji is just.... eh at least she has the power to fight half of Japan's PS without any problem, and speaking of that, it just came to me how so many devil hunters seems to treat devils like regular criminals and not like the supernatural entity they are, even Reze commented on PS needed permission to shot to a fucking devil! I guess there is some commentary to hunters being either weak or crazy idiots, but it also seem like Aki, Kishibe and Himeno were the only humans with some competence behind them, Kon is catching Ls tho

Denji has been kinda MIA for now and Power has become less relevant than Kobeni (and she was the ONLY to be spared by Reze probably for how pathetic she seemed lmaooo), but now he has woken up he is doing interesting stuff again kinda?

Again, waiting the end of the arc for him too, but I think Reze has taken the part of the (villain) protagonist of this arc but we are seeing it with Denji's eyes

As for the new devil/fiends interoduced, Princi has yet to do anything, Violence has not done a lot too but he's hilarious so I forgive him, Reze complimenting him when his Super Kick failed was oddly nice, Beam is the goat and much smarter than he looks, he knows shit no one else does and I love it, Angel issss ok? Himeno replacement nothing too special about him yet, more competent and hard-working than he gives himself credit for

Aaaaaand that's it for now, let's see how it ends

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ekaterinatepes · 3 years ago

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Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: hello my dears! Sorry for not updating the past few days. I travel a lot for work and the circumstances lately made it difficult for me to update as much as I wanted. Although I did get enough inspiration to write this chapter. I come back to you with some juicy lemony goodness ;)

Minors DNI

Warning: NSFW content, mildly non con at the beginning, emotional sex, hurt, comfort and angst.

Blinding jealousy was the only thing that could describe how Satoru felt. Boiling in his blood, licking flames of rage through his body.

Betrayal… his best friend, holding his wife’s hand as he walked her back home. Not only that! Suguru went in with YOU! In your apartment! As if this was the most normal thing in the world!

Did you invite him to stay the night? Did you both plan this ahead of time?

Warping to the top of the building next to yours he continued to watch from his position as you turned on the lights in your apartment. Setting your bag on the counter, taking off your shoes and jacket. Suguru followed you in taking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen after you.

Gojo saw you both laughing and talking like you always did. You were at ease, immersed in your own world… completely forgetting about Satoru.

Did the kiss from last night mean nothing to you?

“What the fuck is going on?!” He groaned removing his blindfold; now fully observing and analyzing every single detail of what you two were doing using his six eyes.

Gojo didn’t want to miss a thing.

He focused on you, your reactions, the way you smiled, the way you acted, your heartbeat, the tone of your voice and… that bright and warm halo of happiness surrounding you while in Suguru’s presence; the same halo that last night was cold for Satoru. All of your smiles, all of your warmth and kindness were dedicated to Suguru.

Satoru’s frayed nerves and chaotic mind debated wether he should warp there and steal you away (… of course then proceed to fuck your into oblivion, fill you with his cum to the brim until you knew there was no other man for you other than your husband) OR keep watching and see how far you would go.

As angry as he was right then, he had to remind himself that Suguru and you had always been very close. It wasn’t uncommon for Geto fo visit you and have dinner with you to keep you company whenever Satoru wasn’t around due to his work or even have dinner together all three of you. This wasn’t ‘abnormal’ per say. The difference was that NOW you ‘thought’ you were not Satoru’s anymore (the operational word being ‘thought’)Geto’s presence never bothered him before… until now.

Taking a deep breath Satoru saw you walking towards your bedroom. His hands trembled in anticipation.

Were you going to sleep with Suguru?

He walked along the edge of his rooftop following your movements inside until you stopped in front of your room. Suguru moved closer to you and Satoru almost snapped. Lifting his hand to use his cursed technic against his best friend he saw how you both hugged and after you placed a kiss on his cheek you bid him goodnight. You pulled back and Satoru sighed in relieve but then Suguru was the one that leaned in and kissed your lips. Satoru was as shocked as you were but you managed to recover faster than he did since you returned Suguru’s embrace for what felt like an eternity. Finally when you separated, Geto and you exchanged a couple words and after another hug he walked out of your room closing the door behind him.

Satoru’s eyes had been open like saucers while the exchange took place, he released a breath he didn’t know have been holding. He saw you turn around and touch your lips with a blush on your cheeks.

He lost his fucking mind right then.

After coming back home Suguru and you talked about the latest shows you were watching and the movies you wanted to watch so you could catch up. A couple jokes about your gory tastes in movies and series after and you were both ready to turn in for the day.

“So! You wanna do a ‘The Walking Dead’ marathon?” You asked with a smirk “sure doll, we can do that tomorrow. You have the morning free right?” Asked Suguru. Sunday mornings were your ‘me’ time since your instructor didn’t work on Sundays “yes I do!” You answered with a big grin. You felt like a kid and the sensation filled you with happiness.

Now that Suguru was here you felt so different, as if you had been numb but now you could feel again.

A yawn cut your next sentence making Suguru chuckle “come on sleepy head, you and I are both whipped” you complied with a sleepy smile and walked down the hall.

Geto stopped in front of your room and gave you one of his characteristic big bear hugs. He was so tall and muscular, you felt surrounded by warmth and muscles everywhere. The fresh and crisp scent of his citrus cologne and detergent made your stomach do a little flip. The intimacy and trust you felt with him reminded you that you were not alone.

It had been easy to bury yourself physically and emotionally in your work but now that Suguru was with you, it reminded you that despite of how tough things got, you would always count on him.

Reluctantly you both pulled back, his Adam’s apple at eye level with you made you swallow. When you looked back into his eyes you found his trailing on your lips before they moved up to meet your e/c eyes.

There was a growing tension between the two of you, too strong and obvious to ignore.

Before, when you were with Satoru; Geto and you had ignored it but now there was nothing stopping either of you from acknowledging it. Sooner than anticipated your lips connected in a tender kiss. He was soft and kind, not demanding. He just wanted to comfort you but also let you know he wanted you, all in his sweet particular way.

You returned the kiss. It was inviting like a balm, it didn’t mean to mark and conquer but to soothe. His plump lips still tasted of wine. It made your mouth avid to taste more.

When you pulled away a blush covered your cheeks “good night Kitten” Suguru tells you with his deep baritone making a very pleasant tingling sensation run down your spine “good night Sugu” only then Geto leaves to go to his room across from yours.

The door closes behind you, all you can hear is your heart hammering away from within, you actually….enjoyed that kiss. It was so sweet, so tender… so soothing. Everything that Suguru was to you was poured in that single action. Touching your lips you start debating whether this was something good or something you should wait before pursuing.

Satoru didn’t sign your divorce, technically you were still married. Suguru didn’t deserve a half assed relationship with someone who doesn’t have her shit together.

You were still healing it was true, but… when Suguru kissed you, it made you feel safe…. Like you could let go and trust him.

Feeling guilty about it, you compared it to Satoru’s kiss from last night. It was impossible to deny there was still passion between you your husband and yourself. But then again physical intimacy was never the problem in your former relationship.

The thrill of the danger, of knowing nothing good would come out of it and despite it all your stubborn desire to immerse yourself in the ocean that was Gojo Satoru. Was what terrified you.

No… you couldn’t think about him that way. Not anymore.

With a sigh you decided it was time for bed. You turned around to head to the bathroom but your body connected with something hard and warm. Looking up you saw Satoru’s crystal blue eyes but before you could scream he covered your mouth with one hand while wrapping the other one around your waist. “Oh no no no no my love… none of that, we are not going to alert sweet Suguru about me, princess” the smirk that pulled at his lips made you shiver, it was predatory… maniac even.

Before your senses could register the change in the atmosphere you were warped away with Satoru. You screamed, but it was too late, you were not in your home anymore.

The lavish interiors of an elegant dim lit suite received you “what the fuck are you doing!?” You asked when he let you go, taking a step back breathing heavily “are you insane!?” You asked the white haired sorcerer who in answer only moved closer to you. The more you tried to get away the closer he got, until you were trapped between the wall and his towering 6’4 frame.

—

“Now princess…. Just what were you and Suguru doing?hmm?” He asked with a terrifying grin that poorly attempted to disguise his anger. Moving his hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Nothing of your concern!” You answered glaring at him, had he been spying on you? You tried to drop your body against the wall to escape from him but before you moved further than an inch down Satoru completely crushed your body with his “I am not done talking to you yet… my wife” he remarked making you ball your hands in fists. It annoyed and revolted you how he tried to use your ‘unfortunate’ marital status for leverage “I am your wife only on the paper… I don’t care what you think or say!” Satoru didn’t like your answer but his grin only broadened; grabbing your wrists and placing them on top of your head he held them with one of his large hands of dexterous fingers “you are right….” He started, giving you false hope “maybe it is time I remind you of your marital duties” your eyes opened wide but before you could attempt anything he kissed you. Fierce lips and teeth demanded your submission… this wasn’t a tender request… it was a display of dominance and possession.

You bit his lip trying to make him stop but Satoru took that as an invitation to grow bolder. His hand moved to your ‘V’ cut long sleeve top and ripped it right in the middle making you gasp; giving him the perfect opportunity to plunge his tongue in your mouth and intensify the kiss tenfold.

His free hand moved to your left breast squeezing the globe of warm flesh underneath. Groaning against your lips on approval, Satoru moved both his hands to your hips and using his inhuman strength he carried you across the room faster than you could tell and then threw you on the bed.

“Satoru… don’t do this! Are you mad?!” You asked in a trembling tone while scooting backwards on the bed in a miserable attempt at escaping him.

“Yes! I am! As a matter of fact… you are a good part of the reason why I am insane!” Grabbing one of your ankles he pulled you closer to him. Spreading your legs he laid on top of your body, giving you no chance to escape “SATORU STOP PLEASE!” You screamed but Satoru only focused on destroying the fabric of your jeans. He wanted all the obstacles between you to be gone! He wanted your clothes, your pain and Geto to be gone! So he could have you all to himself.

You tried to kick him but when you are struggling with the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of his generation there was absolutely nothing your body could accomplish without his approval.

A part of yourself hated the fact that you were just as revolted as aroused at the moment. Was that combination even possible? On one hand you felt dirty because your husband was trying to force himself on you out of jealousy…. But on the other part… the dark and twisted one… you were aroused by his display of pure male dominance, by his suffocating desire to have you and only you.

It was hard to fight so many years of habit, of fantastic chemistry… of love.

You would have to be blind or stupid not to see that your husband had been obsessing over you since you left but….

What good could come out of it?

If you both gave into your primal desires and fucked each other’s brains out. Would that change anything about your broken and unhealthy marriage?

His hot mouth moved to your neck to nibble and suck on that spot right bellow your earlobe that he loved to abuse. A big bruising mark was left in place, but he wasn’t content with just that. He wanted to leave the brand of his desire painted on your skin, like a beacon for him and a warning for others.

As the minutes went by his attentions became less frantic, instead they turned more purposeful and tender.

You stopped moving altogether, not fighting him nor corresponding his affections and careful treatment of your body.

https://youtu.be/qfFOzQVKuMs

youtube

Satoru pulled back for a moment to see you…. Only then it hit him like a train.

What the fuck was he doing? He looked at you and saw the tear trails that dried on your cheeks. Your top ripped in half displaying the soft skin of your breasts only covered by a bra.

“Y/N…” he whispered looking into your eyes. He caressed your cheek “I’m sorry… love” he mumbled trembling. “I’m so sorry…” a sob broke through his lips.

Did he…..? Did he…. almost forced you to have sex with him? How far had he gone in his endeavor to get you back by any means necessary? The notion that he almost…. Raped his wife made him sick.

He cried like a child. Wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face against your naked stomach; kneeling on the floor before the bed he crumbled to pieces. Repeating ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. He was horrified with himself; he had done many questionable things in his life but this… took the cake. It made him a piece of shit! He didn’t deserve you! You were too good for someone as tainted as him. The dread that revelation brought made him cry harder.

He realized his obsession had been a result of the fear he was unwilling to admit having. The terror that made his insides coil. The absolute horror of losing yet another person he loved.

The fear of loosing you.

He had always been alone since he was a child. Satoru didn’t share much of his past with you but the few things you knew was that he had become an orphan at a very young age. He had to mature rapidly to overcome the obstacles of being a kid with so much power in the middle of a corrupt and outdated world of magic and intrigue.

Gojo always felt lonely, despite of how much he liked to mess around with people and play pranks on everyone. But you… had been one of the very few who got to see through his perfectly built facade and tell him the truth.

The night he told you he loved you was after you decided to stay with him in his apartment. He didn’t say or do anything particularly obvious but you somehow knew he didn’t want to be alone. He kept trying to fill the space with playful banter but you shut him up by hugging him and holding him tightly saying he didn’t have to explain anything all. That you would always be there for him, no matter what. It had been on the anniversary of the death of his parents.

Somehow, your empathetic and loving nature blindly guided you to stay with him and allow THE Gojo Satoru to be just…. human in your arms.

As much as you wanted to hate him and resent him, seeing him in such a vulnerable state made your heart ache for him. Unable to stop yourself you caressed his platinum locks while he held onto you and cried begging for your forgiveness over and over again.

When Satoru calmed down he removed his head from your lap slowly, you have been crying along with him. Your fates leaded you both exactly where you were at. Every decision and mistake carved this painful path you walked now.

Looking into your eyes he moved closer as if he was afraid to scare you away, his face stopped just an inch away from yours, giving you the chance to reject his advances but instead of doing that you closed the distance that separated you both. You lips met and melted together in a desperate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, making him moan recognizing the intimate and passionate gesture he had missed for so long. He laid you back down again, climbing on top of you. His hands moving down to your waist in an attempt to feel you as close as possible, as if you were going to disappear in any moment.

Your legs wrapped around his waist when your tongues laced together and caressed each other; moans and sighs left your lips, filling Satoru’s ears and making his hands wander over the expanse of exposed skin.

Making him stand before you and between your legs his long sleeved black shirt was removed quickly, your admired his perfectly sculpted pale torso, this man has always been so… perfect; as if the gods themselves had decided to carve every inch of his person. Although, he did look skinnier, you knew he had not been really taking care of himself. The sight send a pang of pain to your heart. “Toru….” A little painful whisper abandoned your lips when you pulled him closer. Your mouth left a small path of kisses from his neck to the center of his chest, he gasped at the sweet and soothing action. Once more, your tenderness reminded him that he did not deserve you and yet he couldn’t come to make himself stop you. He needed you more than air to live.

Avid hands moved south of his stomach to undo his jeans and pull them down; a very vague part of your brain registered that you were now willingly doing this. Should you stop? Next to go were his boxers. He was standing naked in front of you.

His hardened cock stood between his legs with a small dribble of precum rolling down the reddened head.

He was an Adonis.

Looking into his eyes you saw the loving gaze laced with guilt in his cerulean orbs. You couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to.

He then helped you lay down to return the favor. His mouth kissed its way to the center of your breasts while his right hand undid your bra behind. Taking off the remains of your destroyed top along with your bra, next were the flimsy black lace panties that he rolled down your legs until you were fully naked before his eyes.

He was left speechless “you are so beautiful…” a goddess laid naked on his bed, with her inviting lips, glorious s/c skin, a halo of darker h/c hair around your head, perfect breasts and a pair of delectably shaped legs that he wanted wrapped around him.

How did he ever dare cheat on you? Not only your body was beautiful to him but your heart, you knew no boundaries when it came down to loving someone. You had given him everything and then some.

Kneeling before you he grabbed one of your legs and left kisses from the calf to the inner thigh. Placing it carefully over his shoulder he stopped for a moment to look in your eyes before his mouth delved between your thighs. He found your sweet pussy already wet and waiting for him to lavish his attentions. Like a starved man he licked your pussy, consuming everything you had to offer him. Your flavor coating his tongue made his stomach tight in delight, he recognized the addictive sweetness of your scent. Parting your lips with his tongue he penetrated your entrance with his tongue, going straight to the source. You screamed and he had to hold your hips so you wouldn’t pull away. He couldn’t let you go! Not now! Not ever!

Once he was satisfied he replaced his tongue with his fingers, pumping two digits in and out of your soaking entrance. His tongue looked for your clit and swirled around it, sucking at times and flicking at others. His reward were your screams, moans and sighs of pleasure. They were only for him and no one else.

“T… Toru… I’m gonna come”

“Come for me princess, give me all of you my love” Satoru asked quickly before his mouth returned to your slit and his thumb took care of the bundle of nerves at the top.

You screamed, arching your back when your orgasm washed over your body and completely overwhelmed your senses. Taking his time to taste and swallow your juices Satoru finally emerged from between your legs. Your eyes darkened with a desired that matched his.

Your arms inviting him to come closer encouraged him to lay on top of you after wiping his chin with his hands. Long legs surrounded his waist while you looked in each other’s eyes. “I love you…” he said at the same time he slid his cock inside you, slowly until he was fully sheathed and his balls slapped your ass, making you scream his name.

Satoru was not a small man by any means, taking all of his impressive length at once would have been impossible had he not prepared you beforehand. He knew it, so he moved slowly at the beginning, allowing you some time to adjust while he whispered sweet nothings on your ear.

The moment your legs pulled him closer and deeper he knew you were ready. Without a word he rocked his hips, retracting all the way until only the tip was left inside before he went all the way back in making you body jolt.

The rhythm was slow and purposeful at the beginning but as the minutes went by, the both of you became hungrier, more demanding, more… needy. Your hips met his thrust by thrust. The slapping of your skins intensified as did the moans.

Your tight and hot walls squeezed his cock so deliciously the man was having a tough time not behaving like an animal and rutting you through the mattress like a beast in heat. He wanted to show you he loved you.

He held both your hands in his, pushing them against the bed at both sides of your head. Looking into your eyes he moved deeper “I love you…” he said again and you couldn’t help but feel how the tears escaped your eyes “I love you too…” you admitted in a tiny voice that could barely be considered a whisper.

Satoru eliminated the distance between you both and kissed you, pouring his heart in that action. Your climax was close, he knew this so he angled his hips to continue pummeling your sweet spot while he drove you over the edge.

You came around his thick cock, your walls tightening around his member as if they never wanted go let go “I’m gonna come princess” he moaned and then with a few hard thrusts he spilled himself inside you, painting your walls with his cum.

Your worn out, sweaty bodies stayed still. Trying to recover. Satoru refused to remove himself from inside you.. Not yet, he wanted to savor this moment, the intimacy and the love he felt.

You didn’t protest, instead you did what you used to do back when you both were still together. Cradling his head between your breasts you stroked his hair, lulling you both to sleep.

Your last coherent though before sleep claimed you being… That once again… you fell for it.

Guilt settled in.

————-> Chapter 11

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#jjkgojo #gojo angst #gojo x you #jjk #geto x y/n #gojo saturo x reader #jjk suguru #gojo x reader #gojo smut #softdomgojo #Youtube

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quicksilverownsmysoul · 4 years ago

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Convenience Store

Summary: you work at the local convenience store, everyday the same, that is until someone speeds by. Someone brings a little more excitement to your life than you bargained for

Warnings: a rude customer towards the end who gets a little aggressive

Hey y’all enjoy this little story I whipped up in the spur of the moment! Just a reminder that my inbox is open, so feel free to send me requests or let me know if you have a headcannon you’d like me to write about!!!

Working at a convenience store isn’t all that fun. Dealing with rude people that demand you honor their three year old coupons, or children that scream endlessly until their poor mother finally gives in and buys them some random candy or toy. But the work wasn’t hard. Just restocking the shelves and managing the register. Everyday the same old thing. Since it was a small shop there was usually only one person at a time working, so didn’t have to try and make awkward conversation with your coworkers. And your manager was nice enough to let you study at the register when it wasn’t too busy.

Today was one of those days. Business was slow so you had your history textbook open and notebook out trying to study for your upcoming final. The bell chimed, and you looked up the greet the customer only to find no one there, you furrowed your brow in confusion but figured it was the wind and went back to studying. You were finishing up the chapter when a voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“What are doing?” You jumped in your seat the sudden noise surprising you. You looked up to see a guy with silver hair leaning on the counter. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” He was drinking a slurpee and it looked as if he was practically vibrating, his hand tapping the counter and an insane pace. He really needed to cut back on sugar.

You snapped out of your shock and pushed your textbook to the side. “You know you need to pay for that don’t you?”

He looked down at the large cup in his hand. “Do I?”

You couldn’t believe this guy, was he joking. “Yes you do that’s how a store works.” You looked him over again the first thought that came to mind was that he looked weird. He had silver hair despite looking no older than 19, he was wearing a silver reflective jacket, and goggles which were placed over his eyes. And he couldn’t stop moving.

He smiled at you, and before you knew it he was gone. His slurpee gone with him. “Hey!” You shouted and ran around the counter flinging open the door. “You have to pay for that!” Your words fell on deaf ears, there was no one in sight. You made your way back into the store, grumbling about how this was going to come out of your paycheck.

The next day you were restocking the stores supplies of twinkies when you felt as if someone was standing next to you. You turned to look behind you but no one was there. When you turned back the box you had been holding was gone. “Wow I didn’t know they made confetti ones, are these new?” You let out a little scream when you saw the guy from yesterday on your right hand side. “These look good I might have to try them.”

“It’s you, from yesterday.”

He smirked at you and leaned on the shelf. “So you remember me?”

“As the guy that stole the slurpee,” you crossed your arms across your chest. “Of course I do.”

“Can you prove it?”

“What?”

“Can you prove I stole the slurpee.”

“I-“ you paused. Actually you couldn’t. You checked the security cam yesterday trying to show your manager proof that someone stole something only for there to be a silver spark of a person for less than a second before nothing. Just you yelling at our the door. Your manager looked at you like you were crazy.

You pursed your lips in frustration. “No I can’t.” You mumbled.

“What was that?” He held a hand up to his ear a smile stretching across his face. “I didn’t hear you.”

“I said no I can’t.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Well there ya have it, I didn’t steal a thing.” He was eating one of the confetti twinkies and made a face at the taste. “I don’t like these too much.” He handed you the half eaten snack and ripped open a box of the original twinkies. “I like these better.”

“Are you gonna pay for these.”

He just winked and left you standing in the aisle with a half eaten Twinkie and an open box of them. Well since it was coming out of your paycheck you figured you could try one. You opened the package and the minute you bit it you made a face. The guy was right these were awful. You threw the box away and went back to shelving the items.

He came back the next day this time he beat you to the store. When you arrived he was sitting at the chair behind the counter. At this point you weren’t even surprised at his presence. “Hey.”

You ignored him and walked the the back of the store with your broom. A small frown was etched into his features as he saw you ignore him. But a second later he was at your side opening the freezer and taking a soda out. You didn’t even acknowledge him. “Aren’t you gonna ask me if I’m gonna pay for this?”

You looked up at him. “If I ask you will you pay for it?”

He laughed “No.”

You let out an amused snort and he smiled. “Why do you keep coming here?”

“The foods good.” You stopped sweeping to give him a judgmental look.

“The food is crap, half of its expired.”

He had already finished the soda and was starting his second one. He nervously licked his lips before speaking again. “Would you believe me if I told you I came here to see you?”

You leaned on your broom. “No.”

He walked over to you hands shaking slightly. “Well it’s true.” His soft voice made a shiver run down your spine, and like that he was gone.

For the rest of the work day you found yourself thinking about him. You couldn’t deny that he was cute. His hair as unusual as it was suited him and when he smiled your heart rate picked up. And as annoyed as you acted around him, you thought his antics were quite endearing, you just wished he didn’t cost you money every time he stopped by.

“Ahem.” You we’re so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice there was a customer waiting.

“I’m sorry sir how can I help you?”

“Well you could have been doing your job and not have kept me waiting for as long as you did.” You winced at his tone and muttered another apology. You rang up his items and told him the total. He leaned over the counter and you felt yourself step back. “You know since you kept me waiting for so long I shouldn’t even have to pay for my stuff.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. It’s not fault that a stupid girl like you doesn’t know how to do your job. I don’t know why they have you at the counter, you aren’t even pretty enough to draw in any customers. “ He made a move to get behind the counter.

“Sir you can’t come back here.” You tried to stop him from coming through but he grabbed your wrist.” Let go of me.” Your voice was shaking for fear.

“Or what?” He gave you a sick smile. You looked around but there was no one in sight. “you should know better than-“ the man was cut off as he was yanked back and away from you. You lifted your gaze off of the floor to see the silver haired boy from earlier, holding the man by the back collar of his shirt.

He looked at the man and made a disapproving voice, chiding him with a playful voice. “You know that’s no way to treat a lady. And if you’re not gonna pay for anything you should get out of the way.”

The man was angrier than ever struggling to get out of his grip. “Let go of me!”

The silver haired boy looked at him and gave him a smile. “Okay.” Time seemed to slow and the next thing you knew the man was flying out the door half way across the parking lot.

The silver haired boy turned back to you a look of worry on his face. His voice was soft as he spoke to you. “Are you okay?”

You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down. “I’m okay now. But that was really scary.” You looked back down at your feet trying your best not to show him how scared your really were. He hated seeing you like this. He broke the silence.

“I bet, I’m sorry you had to go through that. That guy was being a total creep. At least when I try to steal things I’m polite about it.” He joked trying to ease the tension.

You let out a little laugh. He smiled back at you. A few moments past and you spoke up, curiosity taking over. “What was that, how were you able to grab him so fast? And how did you get here?” He tapped his fingers anxiously against the counter as you questioned him. “There was no one here at all and then suddenly.” You eyed him suspiciously. “How’d you do it.”

“Um...” he stumbled over his words, “It’s a secret.” He said looking down at his feet. When he looked back up you were leaning over the counter inches away from him. He felt his face heat up at the sudden closeness. He tried to look away but your determined eyes made him hold eye contact for the time being.

“No seriously how did you do it?” His eyes darted back and forth, nervously, you could tell he was debating and what he was going to tell you. He sighed and leaned back over the counter, this time making your face heat up.

“Promise you won’t freak out.” You give him a look before nodding your head in agreement. He put his goggles on. And shook his body out to ease his tension. You gave him a weird look as he gave you a nervous smile. “Watch me.”

A gust of wind blew you hair back, taking off through the store in a lap and the next second he was back at the counter, sitting on your stool, feet resting on the countertop. Your mouth was open in shock, trying to process how he got there so fast. He watched you with curious eyes, licking his lip nervously trying to anticipate what your reaction was going to be. “That was-“ he shut his eyes, wincing preparing for a negative reaction.

“That was so cool!! What was that?” You turned to face him caging him in with your arms unintentionally. He felt his face turn red and stumbled over his words

“I- um..” he finally managed to choke out a response, his cool guy demeanor fading. “I’m a mutant.” He squeaked out. You gave a laugh at his high voice. “I’m a mutant. “ he said again his voice back to normal. “My ability is super speed.”

“That’s so cool, so that’s how you were able to steal things so quickly.”

“Hey!” He defended. “That’s not all I use my powers for.”

“But that’s what you mostly use them for.”

He paused before admitting the truth with a embarrassed. “yea.”

You guys laughed. He was still a little in awe of how calm you were. “So you’re not freaked out?”

“Not at all. That like insane, it’s really cool that you can do that.” You gave him a reassured smile and he felt his heart leap for joy.

“So now that you know about my powers, and since I saved your live-“

You scoffed. “Dramatic much?”

He smirked. “Will you go on a date with me?”

You were taken aback and felt heat creep up onto your cheeks. “I don’t even know your name.”

“If I tell you my name will you go out with me?”

You mirrored his playful smirk. “Maybe.”

He stuck his hand out towards you and you took it in your own. “Hi I’m Peter Maximoff.”

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